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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 1 year ago

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CALL MY NAME AND I'LL COME RUNNING ; SATORU GOJO

synopsis; satoru can be irritating, at times. but even if you push him away, he’ll always, always be there for you when you need him.

word count; 8.7k (this was supposed to b a short drabble but i was possessed by the devil halfway through)

contents; satoru gojo/reader, gn!reader, reader n toru have a fight, mild swearing (a couple fucks here n there), hurt/comfort, satoru has communication issues but he’s trying his best, depictions of stalking (reader gets followed by a random creep but satoru comes to the rescue dw), uhh implied thoughts of violence? (satoru wants to Maul said dude but doesn’t), literally just me being in love with satoru gojo for 8.7k words straight

a/n; no thoughts head empty only gojo running through the streets like a wild beast looking for u <33 im normal about him yeah.

“you’re so annoying sometimes, you know that?”

satoru smiles. the sentence isn’t one he’s unaccustomed to hearing.

usually, the words are soaked in an undeniable fondness, as they spill from your lips. rich with exasperated love. one that never fails to have the corners of satoru’s lips curling up, a mellow kind of joy blossoming in his chest.

but now, that fondness is nowhere to be found.

you sound thoroughly exasperated, and a little bit fatigued. more than anything else, there’s a vague irritation behind the tilt of your voice, something almost cold. it makes all the difference in the world.

and yet, despite that, a certain someone chooses to pay no heed to the bad omen.

“aw, c’mon. you know you love me, baby.”

satoru is grinning. lighthearted, awfully sweet. there’s a certain smugness to it, though, one he couldn’t wash away even if he was aware of it; you wouldn’t do so even if you could. that smugness is a part of him, one that you’d usually find endearing.

but right now, it only seeks to further your frustration.

it was a stupid fight, truthfully. completely meaningless. satoru had forgotten to pick up after himself for, like, the fourth consecutive time, and so you grew annoyed. not by a lot, but enough that you felt the need to be firm when you reminded him not to make the same mistake over and over again.

but satoru had only grinned, in that self-satisfied fashion of his, and apologized in a way you couldn’t possibly call sincere. then he did what he usually does — promises to work on it. to not do it again. he never follows through, though.

but even that thought wasn’t anywhere near enough to make you truly angry. what really began to irk you was the fact that satoru wasn’t taking you seriously, even in the slightest.

that’s how he always is, when it comes to this kind of thing. and you try to be patient, you do. you try to be understanding. sometimes you even appreciate that he keeps the atmosphere light, but other times, you just can’t help but feel irritated by it.

and the current situation happens to fall into the latter category.

you don’t care if satoru leaves a candy wrapper or two out, every once in a while. of course you don’t. it’s a silly thing to argue about. but would it hurt for him to just listen to you? to try to put himself in your shoes, for once? it’s not about the wrappers, or the undone dishes. it’s about the way he treats you when you complain about it — like it’s no big deal, like it doesn’t matter. even if it obviously does, to you.

so, gradually, the topic of your little argument began to shift, into a conversation about satoru. about the fact that he so adamantly refuses to talk about the things that bother you in a serious fashion. about the fact that he so adamantly refuses to take you seriously.

and he just keeps proving your point, with every word that falls from his lips.

at this point, you’re genuinely beginning to feel a little angry. but satoru doesn’t see that as the warning sign it is — he just thinks it’s cute. he’s just been cooing at you, this whole time, despite your numerous attempts to actually explain how much his behavior affects you sometimes. it feels a bit like talking to a wall. satoru keeps on teasing you, even as you try to be firm about your point, and only brushes you off with empty promises to do better and more unneeded comments about how much he wants to hug you when you pout like that.

and you falter, a little. of course you do. you’re weak to satoru. weak to his words, that sweet voice of his, that pretty grin. but that only makes everything worse, because if you let yourself look even a little bit flustered at his comments, he sees that as his cue to continue.

you don’t even know if he’s doing it on purpose, at this point. is he doing it because he knows it’ll annoy you, or does he genuinely not understand that you’re upset? you’d like to think that there’s no malicious intent behind it, but can’t he see how troubled you are? you don’t get it. you don’t get him, and that frustrates you most of all. satoru can be so goddamn convoluted, sometimes.

so you simply can’t help but feel annoyed. angry, even. how long have you been arguing for, at this point? you’re not sure. but you feel the frustration inside of you grow, as the minutes tick by, into something you know will eventually explode.

a sigh falls from your lips, deep and exasperated. a little bit exhausted. “i’m serious, satoru. you’re not even listening.”

“i am!” he protests, stubbornly. childishly. “you just look so cute when you’re all mad. not my fault you’re so distracting.”

satoru smiles, voice sugar sweet, but all you can do is frown. does he really think it’s cute that you’re upset? the thought makes you somewhat sad. but you can’t show that, can’t let that part of you win — you don’t even want to think about the possibility of you crying, because of this. yeah, no way in hell.

so instead, you channel it into anger. as the blood inside your veins comes to a boiling point, you dig your nails into the skin of your palms, gnawing at your bottom lip and shifting from one foot to another.

”satoru, i’m —” another sigh, sharp and vexed like the blade of a knife. ”i’m trying to have a serious conversation, here. can’t you see that i’m upset?”

satoru takes a moment to look at you, from behind the black glass of his shades.

he can. of course he can see that. you’re frowning, and there’s a crease between your brows, and you keep huffing and sighing every three seconds — you’re obviously, undoubtedly upset. and satoru wants to take you seriously, he does. it’s just that the part of his brain that only ever wants to coddle and tease you keeps persuading him not to.

he’s not lying, either; you do look cute. almost too cute to take seriously, when you’re pouting so sweetly, a little red in the face from all the frustration bubbling inside your chest. you look so small, glaring up at him like an angry puppy.

satoru can’t help but smile. it’d be impossible not to.

and he will listen to you, will take you seriously. he knows you’re angry, knows you’re upset, and he intends to deal with that properly. but he doesn’t need to do it right now.

just a little more teasing, before he has to stop beating around the bush. satoru dreads it, a little bit, dreads having to genuinely be serious, be open and apologetic. it always feels so strange, so discomforting.

all that stuff can wait until later. for now, he just wants to see you blush a little more, huff and puff at his limitless affection, that he knows you love deep down. where’s the harm?

(and therein lies the problem. satoru is observant, and typically good at seeing the line that he shouldn’t cross when it comes to you. but there are times when he slips up, times when he doesn’t realize that his words have begun to sting. times when the line becomes blurry, because he knows some part of you enjoys the way he babies you, and sometimes it blinds him to the part of you that doesn’t.)

satoru is smiling. it’s the same as always — big, bright, glazed over with honey-sweet adoration. smug and teasing. it’s such a satoru-like smile that it makes your breath hitch, sometimes, makes your heart race with wonder. but now all it does is annoy you. everything you love about satoru is annoying you, right now.

in your eyes, that pretty smile of his seems almost taunting. like he’s trying to pick a fight with you, trying to make you even more upset. you don’t want to blow up over something like this, you really really don’t — but for some reason, you feel dangerously close to. it’s not like you at all.

you bore into his eyes with a cold glare, even though you can’t exactly see them with his shades in the way. posture straight and rigid as you try to make yourself look bigger. you must look at least a little bit menacing, like this. right?

“i’m seriously angry with you,” you say, hoping your voice sounds as austere to his ears as it does to yours. “don’t you get that?”

satoru coos, unable to hold the sound back. he doesn’t notice the flicker of hurt in your eyes, only focusing on how the sunset rays frame your figure, kissing your skin with sun-soaked fervor. you look so pretty. and that angry look on your face is too tantalizing not to tease.

“aww,” he croons, inching closer to you. there’s a teasing glint in his eyes that you can’t see, unmistakably fond. “is my little baby that upset?”

you blink. his voice sounds even more sugar-sweet now, obviously exaggerated. there’s amusement there, too — like this is just one big joke to him. you think he must be doing it to belittle you, to embarrass you. speaking to you like you’re some kind of grumpy toddler, and not a grown adult trying to have a serious conversation with their partner. your blood boils, boils, boils.

— and so the cup overflows.

“oh, go fuck yourself.”

it’s almost in a hiss that the words fall from your lips, cold and harsh; they leave the confines of your throat before you have a chance to reconsider them, sudden and sickeningly heavy. crude, too. you’d never be so crass with him under normal circumstances.

but you’re overwhelmed, thoroughly and completely, and satoru is being particularly infuriating. you genuinely feel hurt by the way he’s disregarding your feelings, and that realization stings more than anything.

so you can’t help but say the words, louder than you meant to, before turning on your heel swiftly and walking out of the room.

you don’t even have time to register what you’re doing, legs moving on their own before your mind can catch up. brisk and heavy steps carry you to the door, all while you furiously attempt to blink away the tears of frustration that begin to form in your eyes.

it only takes a second for you to grab your jacket — then you’re out.

satoru hears the front door close, echoing off the walls of your apartment. you don’t quite slam it shut, but you close it with more force than usual, and he can’t help but inwardly wince.

a moment passes.

then, he flops down on the couch, lanky arms and legs dangling uncomfortably off the edges. the groan that slips from his lips is muffled by the soft cushion as he burrows his face into it, while replaying your interaction inside his mind.

satoru can’t help but feel uncomfortable, with this conclusion. a little bit irked. a vague something rests inside his chest, something he doesn’t quite want to admit to feeling. it makes him feel a little bit sick.

(”oh, go fuck yourself.”)

he can’t recall you ever raising your voice at him like that. when it comes to him, you’re usually so patient; soft, understanding, gentle. for you to have snapped in such a way — to have stormed out of the apartment in your anger — he must have pushed you pretty far.

satoru sighs.

he really pissed you off, huh?

(he can never quite seem to get this right, can he?)

it was never his intention to make you genuinely mad. he just lost sight of the line, for a second. that’s all.

and maybe he was also trying to avoid the issue, trying to avoid actually arguing with you. because he hates it. he hates it more than anything. satoru would much rather see you smile and blush than act all serious and sad.

he just wanted to make you laugh.

was it insensitive? yeah, probably. he just can’t help but fuck this up, it seems. now he’s gone and made you angry — and as much as the sight would usually thrill him, as cute as you look when you’re irritated, a pit of anxiety settles in his gut. everything just feels wrong.

more than anything, satoru feels restless. because, right now, there’s nothing he can do. he can’t chase after you, even if just to apologize — that’d make you even angrier.

he knows he needs to give you space. you were obviously overwhelmed; some fresh air will do you good.

it irks him, though. satoru wants to fix it. he always wants to fix everything, before it even breaks. and even now, all his mind can do is spin in circles, wondering how he could possibly cheer you up.

he’ll just have to apologize, when you get back. and hope you forgive him. maybe he can get you something sweet to munch on, or a bouquet of flowers. would that make everything okay again?

satoru doesn’t know. so he just scratches his head, and tries his damndest not to think of how defeated you looked before leaving.

your steps are heavy, dragging you forward, leading you somewhere you have no knowledge of. it’s chilly out, and the sun is already setting.

everything in the world feels so wrong. like it’s tilted slightly to the left, like the earth stopped spinning around its axis. like everything suddenly lost its saturation.

you just needed to get away from him, for a while. away from that smug smile, that patronizing tilt of his voice. you couldn’t even stand to be in the same apartment as him. it’s not often you feel that way, not often at all.

and it only increases your growing frustration.

you are beginning to calm down, though — you know you are. the crisp evening air and the pleasant mingle of people soothes your muddled senses, smoothing down the crease of your brow and the ache in your chest.

a heavy discomfort, and a growing guilt. that’s all you can feel, as the anger slowly seeps out of you, turning into vapour with every exhale of your breath.

you hate arguing with satoru. you hate it more than anything. the guilt clawing at your chest barely leaves any room for anger — you almost yelled at him. just the thought of doing that to satoru makes you want to cry.

because you love him, at the end of the day, even when he’s being absolutely insufferable. he’s a sweetheart, your sweet boy, always trying to lighten the mood and make you smile. maybe you should have been a bit more understanding; you know satoru’s bad at this stuff, bad with emotions and vulnerability. and deep down, you know he’d never hurt you, not on purpose.

he probably just didn’t realize that you were genuinely upset. it’s a mistake that anyone could make.

but it just makes you feel so frustrated. like he’s not even looking at you. always hiding behind those shades, never opening up. never letting you see him wear anything but a smile. you want him to take it slow, open up to you at his own pace, but that doesn’t make the wait sting any less.

it’s not like you were asking for a lot. first, you simply asked him to pick up after himself. the way you do, the way anyone does. then, you simply asked him to treat you with respect.

a sudden pang of bitterness runs through your chest. sure, you could’ve handled it all better — but he could have, too.

every step you take hits the pavement with an irritated kind of decision. whatever. whatever. for now, you don’t want to think about it — all you want is to walk around and take in the sights, enjoy the peace and quiet.

so that’s exactly what you do.

before you know it, the sun has set, and the moon has risen — shining down and painting the streets in a mesmerizing blue, ephemeral and tranquil. it’s enough to give you some peace of mind, as you lurk around familiar streets, soaking in all the open space. so different from that suffocating apartment, and the man inside it, with that shit-eating grin and those breathtaking eyes.

(he’s called you, a couple times. you haven’t been gone for long — an hour or so, you think, maybe two. some part of you wanted to answer, just to hear his voice through the phone, but the part of you that’s still awfully irritated shut that down immediately. so, stubbornly, you just let it ring.)

the streets are empty, and the sky is dark. the light of all the lampposts illuminate your way, along with the soft flicker of the moon and stars. an endless galaxy stretches out before your eyes, little pale dots of stardust shining like jewels.

an ever-lasting, never-changing sky, that continues on for infinity. limitless. all the space you could possibly want, and then some.

for a moment, you can only look at the glittering stars in wonder, soaking in the feeling of absolute solitude.

— it doesn’t last, though.

“you alone?”

a sudden voice calls out from behind you. close, discerningly so, enough to make you flinch. you curse yourself for not noticing anything sooner, caught up in looking at the starry sky, in angling your phone to take a picture of it.

hesitantly, you turn your gaze towards the sound — wincing under your breath when you see the man a couple steps away from you. he looks a little crazed, you think, shifting from foot to foot and hunching over.

oh fuck no.

great, just what you needed. that’s just your luck, isn’t it? your brain can only spin in circles, trying to get your body to react, to run. to do literally anything except just stand there like a deer caught in headlights.

in your nervosity, all you manage is a painfully awkward laugh, as you stutter out a halfhearted response.

“oh — no, i’m just waiting for my boyfriend!” you smile, unconvincingly. your face must be soaked in unease. whatever he wants with you, it can’t be anything good.

at least you said that one word clearly — boyfriend. you can only hope it’s enough to scare him away.

but the man only shifts a little more, emitting a gruff kind of hum, not saying anything else. your spine tingles with apprehension. every cell in your body wants you to leave. he seems a little intoxicated, you think, and the thought only stirs the anxious feeling in your chest further.

god. why does this have to happen to you? why now?

thankfully, you’ve got your phone in hand. as your mind scrambles for solutions, your fingers tap at the screen, urgently scrolling through your contacts. in such a frightened state, your acting must be positively awful, but you make a vague attempt. not like you’re getting any oscars for this, either way.

“sorry — he’s calling me now!” you stammer out, taking a step away from the man. he doesn’t make a move to follow you, so you take your chances and press your phone to your ear, feet carrying you forward with haste.

in your fear, you don’t think twice about calling satoru — but you can’t help but internally wince at the decision, as the anxious patter of your own heart resounds in your ears.

how are you supposed to talk to him, exactly? what are you supposed to say? hey, i know i just told you to go fuck yourself, but will you hear me out? i need your help.

and you do. you do need his help. all you want is for him to swoop in, to take you in his arms, your knight in shining armor.

satoru’s said it to you, before — that if you need anything, anything at all, you can come to him. that you can always, always lean on him, without exception.

you know that he likes helping you. likes it when you open up to him, when you put your trust in him. when you aren’t afraid to ask for his help.

so despite everything, you hold your phone to your ear, walking away with brisk steps and praying that he’s not petty enough to ignore your call like you did to his.

back home, satoru is still resting on the couch, tapping his feet and trying to distract himself.

he’s a little anxious. it’s dark out, and you’re not answering any of his calls. when you’re out of sight, like this, he can’t help but feel a little helpless — worried about everything that could happen to you. but it’s not like he can force you to pick up.

you’re probably at a friend’s house, or something. telling them all about what an asshole your boyfriend is. as much as the thought stings, satoru hopes it’s true; it’s all he can comfort himself with. anything is fine as long as you aren’t out walking alone, in the cold, in the dark.

entirely caught up in his spiralling thoughts, satoru almost flinches when the phone rings. laying on the table in front of him, just within arm’s reach. it only takes a second for him to react as his gaze flits to the bright screen, and he sees the contact name, the many heart emojis littering it.

with a start, satoru jumps up. his back straightens out, and his hand flies to grab the phone — he’d feel embarrassed at his own eagerness, but right now he just can’t help it. even under ordinary circumstances, he wouldn’t let the phone ring more than twice, always giddy to hear your voice whenever possible.

this time, however, he does falter slightly.

he takes a split second to simply stare at the phone in his hand, at the affectionate contact name. what is he supposed to say to you, exactly? how is he supposed to act?

satoru doesn’t know, but as if afraid that you’ll change your mind and stop the call, yourself, he opts to simply answer. he’ll just have to figure out what to say on the fly.

(unfortunately, satoru’s instinctual response to anything is either smugness or playfulness.)

“well, well. look who finally decided to pick up.”

you’re the one who called him, not the other way around — but satoru can’t be bothered with small details like that right now. he only hopes you don’t notice the faint nervosity in his voice, the stiffness as he tries to sound unbothered.

you don’t notice anything at all, mind far too muddled, too clouded by fear. all you can do is take a deep breath, desperately trying to grasp control over your wavering voice.

“— satoru?” you call out, voice meek and frail. the man in question notices it immediately, sitting up a little straighter, but before he can say anything you continue. “i’m sorry, i just — are — are you still at home?”

there’s an anxious tilt to your voice, one that’d be impossible for satoru to miss. your words are a little breathy, spoken in a fast tempo, and he feels a sudden dread crawl up his spine.

something is wrong, his senses alert him.

“yeah,” he hums, trying to hide the turmoil in his own voice. “why? is everything okay?”

the line is quiet, for a second. “it’s just —“ an exhale, as you once again attempt to steer your voice in a less nervous direction. “just… some creepy guy tried to talk to me. i told him i was waiting for my boyfriend and now i’m walking away from him but he’s still following me.” another exhale, as you worriedly sneak a glance over your shoulder. ”i just — i don’t know what to —”

“where are you?”

satoru cuts you off, voice eerily serious. his gaze turned cold the moment he heard creepy guy, legs moving him towards the coat rack by the front door as if on autopilot.

he’s already left the apartment by the time you answer, looking around you meekly.

“i… don’t know,” you sigh. “i’m not far. i walked past that one crêpe stand by the park but then i, like… continued up that street? and now i don’t really know where i’m going.”

you continue, a little exasperated as your gaze flits around the dark street. attempting to recall your steps, a difficult task with how on edge you feel. “i’ll try to look for a sign, or something,” you gulp. “… i’m sorry. i just wanted to get away from him.”

satoru’s voice is comforting, when he speaks, eager to console you. grounding and soft. “hey, it’s okay. i’m heading there now, alright?” he smiles, hoping you’ll hear it in his voice. “i’ll be there before you know it.”

you do hear it, and his words ease a little of the anxiety in your chest, despite your fear. “okay.”

the line grows quiet, again, and your brows furrow in worry. “can — can i keep talking to you?” you ask, uncertain. a little pitiful. ”please?”

“of course,” satoru answers, instantaneous. he’s already making his way towards the crêpe stand with decision in his steps, mentally scanning the area ahead. despite his own anxiety at the situation, he attempts to sound as secure as he can possibly manage, desperate to soothe the worry in your voice.

“try to relax for me, okay? nobody’s gonna hurt you. not while i’m here.”

his words are absolute, as he consoles you. he sounds so sure of himself, so much that you can’t help but believe in his words. so you nod, emitting a weak hum when you remember he can’t see you.

“can you tell me what you see, baby?”

“uhh…” you look around, blindly, trying to find some sort of meaningful hint around you. “there’s like… some toy shop?”

satoru only hums. “can you check your location on your phone?”

you blink.

of course. why on earth didn’t that cross your mind before?

“oh — yeah — fuck. i’m sorry. i don’t know why i didn’t —“ you sigh, heavy. “hold on.”

following satoru’s instructions swiftly, your gaze scans over the screen. he waits, patiently, already heading past the park and up ahead. as soon as you succeed in finding the name of the street, you echo it to him.

satoru sighs, a little relieved. “okay,” he hums. “i’m not that far away. i’ll be there soon.” he only hopes his words can soothe your fear, even a little. “is he still following you?”

you glance behind you, and meet the gaze of the stranger. just like you were afraid of, he’s still following you — if anything, he seems to have gotten a little closer. with a jolt, your heartbeat picks up.

“yeah,” you gulp.

satoru’s chest tightens. he emits a low hum. “just hold on. i’ll hurry.”

focusing only on the tilt of satoru’s voice, you try to calm your breathing. you just want to see him. the thought of doing so is the only thing keeping your trembling ribcage intact, at this point.

you swallow a shaky breath.

“thanks, toru.”

a sudden pang of ache sprouts in satoru’s chest, like thorny vines curling around his ribcage. his heart hurts. you sound so scared, so very small.

this is all his fault, he thinks. all of it. he got too careless; none of this would’ve happened if he had only been more considerate. if he had just stopped you from leaving and apologized, or hadn’t upset you in the first place. then he wouldn’t have to hear that scared little voice, wouldn’t have to imagine your body shaking like a leaf in the cold night. so far away from him.

but satoru can’t beat himself up over it, not yet. there’ll be more than enough time for that later. for now, he needs to get to you — that’s the only thing on his mind.

so he lets his feet carry him forward, running towards your location with bated breath. he’s sure you can hear it, through the phone, even though he tries to contain it.

the sound consoles you, if anything. it reminds you that satoru is there, that he’s on his way. that there’s no need to be scared.

but you can’t help but freak out, a little, when you hear the man call out from behind you.

“hey!” he slurs, stumbling towards you with unsteady steps. his voice is loud, angry, and it sends your mind reeling into panic mode.

a flinch overtakes your body, before you stumble forward, walking even faster than before. you’re almost running now, breath hitching as you gulp. satoru hears it all — your panic, the echo of the man. his own tempo picks up.

“baby, calm down, okay?” he consoles you, voice concerned and honey-sweet. “just keep walking. i’m almost there.”

“sorry —“ you squeak out, between flurry breaths. breathing uneven, laboured and anxious. but you try your best to calm down. “‘s just scary.”

it almost feels physical, the way it irks him. satoru wants to pull you close, more than anything, but he can’t. and that just makes the calamity inside his chest grow, clawing at his ribcage as if trying to escape, to go to your side.

(he never, ever wants to hear that kind of fear in your voice again.)

“i know,” he soothes. “you’re doing good, honey. listen — he’s not gonna touch you. i won’t let him. you have nothing to be scared of.”

you nod, even as you exhale a shaky breath. ”i know.”

and you do. you know there’s a truth, to satoru’s words, one that’s never failed you before.

because satoru is your safe space, at the end of the day — he can be annoying, outright insufferable, and sometimes he’s bad with emotions. but he tries, you know he does. and, more than anything else, you know that he’ll always, always be there when you need him. he’ll always be there to protect you.

and a part of you is sure that everything will be okay, as long as he’s around.

(it’s easy to forget how trustworthy satoru really is, how much he cares. how dependable he is. and how serious he can get, when he truly needs to be, despite his childishness. it’s moments like these that remind you of that.)

but it’s still scary, at the end of the day. you can’t help but feel uncomfortable, a little lost in the world. because you and satoru just fought, you just told him to go fuck himself, and yet here he is. running to your side, in the middle of the night, because you’re scared and alone and you need him.

the man continues to shout, behind you, muttering curses you can’t quite make out. you look over your shoulder nervously, steps hurried.

and satoru runs like a man possessed, through the moonlit streets, gaze scanning the area like a wild beast. his most visceral instinct is screaming at him, tugging at his flesh and bones, desperate to protect you. to comfort you. to wash all your worries away.

as he makes a sharp turn, he momentarily stops the movement, halting to look around. he thinks he must look a little crazed, with the moonlight illuminating his eyes, but he couldn’t care less.

especially not when his gaze lands on a certain person, further down the street — small and alone.

your eyes meet his.

with the darkness of the street, it’s hard to make anything out, but the light of the lamppost helps. though even without it, satoru’s sure he’d know it was you, just from the sensation that unfurls in his chest as his gaze lands on your figure.

an audible sigh of immense relief falls from his lips, and his tense shoulders relax, eyes softening just a tad. he hears a similar noise coming from the phone in his grasp, and he assumes that means you recognize him too. not bothering to end the call, he puts it in his pocket, walking over to you with brisk steps.

you stumble towards him, yourself, the worried crease between your brows now smoothed away. the closer he gets, the faster you move, until you can see the blue of his eyes. two pocket-sized moons.

satoru swoops you in for a hug before either of you can say anything.

he cradles you close, awfully close, so close you can hear his heavy breathing against your ear. it tickles your neck, along with his soft hair, and you shiver. his fragrance envelops your senses, a blend between fresh laundry, strawberries and some expensive cologne. your favorite scent in the world.

and suddenly, the world is devoid of danger. nothing can get to you while satoru’s there. all that exists is you, and him, and the soft flicker of the moon.

satoru squeezes you tightly, ensuring himself over and over again that you’re safe. he might be squeezing you a little too tight, but he can’t bring himself to think about that just yet.

finally, that growing calamity inside his chest is satiated. winding down at the feeling of you pressed up against him, the indisputable proof that you’re okay. with you in his arms, satoru feels like everything is alright, again.

the fear inside his chest, so foreign it leaves him shaken to the very core, finally begins to dissipate too. he doesn’t think there’s anything that makes him feel quite as hopeless as the thought of not being there for you when you need him. he never wants to feel that fear again. it’s suffocating. it crushes his lungs.

all he can do is hold you close, his big palm smoothing down your hair, the back of your head, your spine. warm and comforting. keeping you steady against him. he can feel your heartbeat, rapid and anxious, so fast that his heart aches. satoru is eager to soothe you, eager to make it go away.

”i’m here, baby,” he breathes, rubbing his cheek against the side of your head. ”you’re safe now.”

the words are spoken softly, right by your ear, and you exhale a shaky breath. you’re bundling up his clothing with your fists, anchoring yourself to him. after a little while, you let go, opting to wrap your arms around his midriff instead. nuzzling into his broad chest, you try to blink away your tears and contain your sniffles.

you nod against him, and satoru kisses the crown of your head.

and, finally, his gaze strays. it falls farther down the street, until it lands on a certain man — shifting from one foot to another. watching you both in silence.

the calamity inside his chest rouses from its slumber, once more.

satoru makes sure to keep his hands on you, still rubbing your back with one steady palm cradling the back of your head. keeping your face hidden in his chest, safe and secure.

then he raises his head, back straight, full height on display as his eyes meet the stranger’s. he can tell they do, even with the distance, the darkness of the street.

and satoru knows he looks menacing. he knows the light of the lamppost illuminates his figure perfectly, framing his tall stature and broad shoulders. and he knows the moonlight caressing his skin illuminates his face, his cold eyes — blue and uncanny, glowing even brighter than the moon. staring daggers into the man’s soul. if looks could kill, there wouldn’t even be any remains left to find.

the man stiffens, visibly, and satoru delights in it. he doesn’t leave, though, and for a second satoru wonders if he’s really intoxicated enough to come closer —

but, sure enough, all he does is stagger a little. then he walks away, grumbling under his breath, hands in his pockets.

and satoru isn’t satisfied, with this conclusion. not in the slightest. he wants to run up to the man, wants to hold him up by the throat, wants to tell him off. because he has the nerve to terrorize someone like that, stalk them with intentions he knows can’t be anything but revolting. the nerve to do that to you, of all the people in the world —

satoru doesn’t know if he’s hated anyone quite as much.

and a part of him wants to make him cower. make him fear for his life, just to make sure he never does anything like this again. leave him with a fear so great it’ll linger for as long as he’s alive.

(and a more animalistic side of satoru, one he doesn’t want to acknowledge, wants to do things that are much, much worse.)

— but you come first. without question, and without exception. he refuses to leave you alone, and refuses to make you look at the man for even a second more.

so he’ll focus on you, entirely.

he can tell you’re still shaken up, heartbeat pulsating against him, little flutters of life prickling his skin. there’s a desperation in the way you hug his waist, like he could disappear at any moment. like he’ll slip away if you don’t keep him close. the sight tugs at satoru’s heartstrings.

his first priority is to soothe you, always and forever. so that’s exactly what he does.

satoru smiles. it’s small, in the wake of the situation, but awfully sincere. fingers reaching down to trace over your jaw, he gently urges you to look at him; when you do so, hesitant, he cups your cheek with his palm.

your teary eyes feel like daggers to his heart, an unmistakable proof of his failure. his failure to protect you, to keep you safe and happy. but at the same time, he’s glad, from the bottom of his heart — that you’d let him see you like this. even after everything.

you look very meek, blinking the tears away as you look into his eyes. they’re bright, and comforting. you wonder if he left the shades at home, if he rushed over here so hurriedly that he didn’t think to bring them with him. you’re happy, in any case — the effect they have on you is undeniable.

you can’t bring yourself to look away, consoled by the flickers of white inside his irises, like fluffy clouds in the blue sky. ever-lasting, never-changing.

satoru tilts his head, smile sweet and understanding. ”that was scary, hm?”

his voice is tender, somehow so mature. like he’s some older, wiser being, comforting a scared child. it’s so soothing, so very grounding.

squeezing your eyes shut, you can only bring yourself to nod, as you nuzzle back into his chest.

”you’re okay now, honey,” satoru coos, smoothing down your back as you sniffle. an immense softness seeps through his whisper. ”i’ll always be here to protect you.”

there’s a truth to the statement, heavy and pious. like an oath, a pledge, something for you to believe in unquestioningly. you allow yourself to soak in the words, knowing them to be true.

you’re safe, now. there’s nothing to be afraid of anymore. satoru’s here, and he’s hugging you, pressing kisses against your shoulder.

but you just can’t stop crying.

when you speak up, your voice is weak, barely above a whisper. close to breaking apart at the seams. too tired after everything to resist the guilt inside your veins, you sniffle, and part your lips.

”i’m sorry i yelled at you.”

satoru stills.

then, his gaze softens, considerably. he hears himself coo, softly, palm smoothing down the back of your head.

his sweet angel. apologizing to him, when he’s the one who started this whole mess. when you’re still so shaken up. because he let you leave the house angry, because he made you angry in the first place. because he didn’t see how important the discussion was to you.

(“you’re not even listening.”)

yeah. he wasn’t. he didn’t really want to.

an acute sense of shame. an intense guilt. that’s what he’s been trying to push down, all this time. that’s the unnamed something.

it’s hard for him. to be as sincere as you, as open with his feelings and emotions. as mature. because even in a situation like this, you can swallow your pride and frustration, and apologize. even when you aren’t in the wrong. you’re always the bigger person, always the one to give in first, because he’s too stubborn to do so himself.

next time, satoru pledges, he won’t let you. next time he’ll be the one to swallow his pride.

because, yes, being vulnerable and admitting that he was in the wrong makes him feel a little like he’s being skewered alive — but you’re important to him. he loves you. and he wants you to know how much he trusts you, how special you truly are.

if he can show you that, by being a little sincere, a little serious, then any discomfort he feels in the process is a small price to pay.

satoru’s lips meet the crown of your head, as he encircles your smaller frame, arms reaching around your neck to pull you close. he rests his jaw lightly on the top of your head, breathing in your scent. ”you have nothing to apologize for, baby.”

a pause lingers between the words he’s already said and the ones he yearns to say, but can’t seem to pull out from within his throat. it takes effort, to squeeze them out; but every time he replays your own apology in his mind, it gets a little easier. he squeezes you lightly before opening his mouth, as if to give him strenght.

“i’m sorry.”

you blink.

for once, satoru sounds sincere when he apologizes — almost painfully so. bordering on something you think may be nervosity. you try to look up, to catch a glimpse of his expression, but he keeps you hidden in the crook of his neck.

”i was being immature,” he continues, sighing. you don’t know if you’ve ever heard satoru sound so uncomfortable. ”you know how bad i am with this stuff. but i never want to — you know.”

he makes a gesture with one of his hands, as if that will say the words for him.

“— i didn’t mean to upset you. honestly.” satoru inhales the cold air, in hopes it’ll make him more honest. “you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

you listen. intently, not missing a word, not a single tilt of his voice. it all sounds so genuine, almost foreign on his tongue. satoru seems to be trying to find the right words, grumbling a little under his breath.

he’s cute, like this. kind of awkward, but that only makes him cuter. you nuzzle closer to him, comforted by his very existence.

”… i’ll work on it,” he whispers, at last. “i’ll listen to you. i promise. i really, really will.”

you think satoru’s voice wavers, just a little, when he says his final piece.

“so please don’t cry.”

this time, satoru doesn’t stop you when you attempt to lift your gaze, loosening his arms around you and raising his head from where it rests on top of yours.

your eyes meet. satoru is smiling, weakly. he tilts his head, looking at you with something you could only ever describe as love.

”okay?”

such a lovely smile. so painfully genuine. his eyes are on full display, shining in the dark of the night, like splotches of moonlight. like someone stole the moon down to earth, and carved out little pieces to put in his irises. an ethereal hue.

he’s so gorgeous. hair just a tad messy, tousled from all the running he did to get here. cheeks a little red from the cold. when he smiles, his eyes crinkle. but he looks almost pained.

(he was so, so worried.)

blinking away the tears clinging to your lashes, you simply stare, entirely mesmerized by the sight. satoru’s thumb goes to wipe at your glassy eyes, smoothing away the drops that threaten to fall. you want to engrave his expression into your memory, so you can never forget it. but it’s just a little too much.

so you hide in his chest, once more. the word that falls from your lips is tiny. “okay.”

satoru smiles, kissing the top of your head with a relieved exhale. bathing in your presence, still reeling from his show of vulnerability. he feels a little like he just cut himself open, let you peek inside his ribcage. the night air stings his skin.

but you’re so warm, hugging him tightly, breathing and heartbeat finally relaxed.

(he doesn’t mind it, not if it’s you — having you look inside his chest. if you asked, he’d let you build a shelter there. right between his fourth and fifth ribs.)

now that the words are out of his throat, they don’t burn at all. satoru feels a little silly, for being so scared to say them out loud. he knows you’d never use them against him.

all you do is snuggle closer, as if silently conveying your forgiveness.

you stand there for just a little while longer, wallowing in the tender atmosphere. finally, satoru makes a move to leave, and you begin to walk back home.

“sure you’re okay now, baby?”

you nod, exhaling a flurry breath. it turns into vapour in the cold of the air, drifting up and dissipating in the expanding starry sky. “yeah. thanks for coming so quickly.”

“of course,” satoru only says, choking back a yawn.

your hands are intertwined, and he’s halfheartedly swinging them back and forth. it soothes your anxiety, and satoru’s protective instincts. you know neither of you will slip away, like this.

you shiver a little, subconsciously inching closer to satoru to protect you from the harsh bite of the midnight breeze. he notices, giving you a glance and a tilt of his head. “you cold?”

“just a little,” you mutter, smiling weakly as you look up at him. ”i’m fine.”

satoru huffs. did you really think he’d be dissuaded by such a weak retort? there’s no way he’s letting you walk around all cold and shivering.

so you come to a standstill, as satoru begins to shrug off his coat. he refuses to let go of your hand for even a second, making the process slower than usual — your heart flutters a little, as his fingers curl around yours, delicately.

when he finally gets it off him, he wastes no time in draping it over your shoulders. it’s big on you, warm and soft, shielding you from the chilly air. satoru can’t help but giggle sheepishly, as he always does at the sight — you look so cute.

“c’mon. let’s go home,” he grins, ruffling your hair teasingly.

satoru doesn’t feel cold, not in the slightest, as he holds your hand tightly. just your presence is enough to warm his bones to the marrow.

the silence between you is comforting and soothing, as you continue to walk. hand in hand, admiring the starry sky. you’re both too tired to speak — but satoru does so, anyway.

“i meant it, y’know.” satoru sounds sleepy, but earnest. ”i really will work on it.”

he doesn’t look at you when he says it, yawning softly and stretching his free arm. gaze fixed on the morning star.

“oh.” you pause, squirming a little. sheepish. “thank you. i’m sorry that i — i mean.” a sigh. “i probably overreacted a little.”

satoru shakes his head, waving off your guilt. “nah. you’re right. i never want you to feel like i’m not taking you seriously.”

his gaze meets yours, tentatively. his eyes shine like wedding rings. “you mean a lot to me.”

the sincere words manifest themselves as a heavy pressure to your chest, closing in on your heart as if crushing it. it’s a pleasant sensation, though, overwhelming as it is. you’re a little scared that your knees will buckle if he keeps this up, but even if they do, you wouldn’t want him to stop — satoru’s love is terrifically overwhelming when there’s nothing to hide it, when it’s just love and nothing else.

but you’d never reject it. you’d let it crush you to death with a smile on your face.

all you can do is avert your gaze, afraid that you’ll fall into the blue sea of his eyes if you don’t. heavy thumps of blood resound in your ears as your heart beats, warmth spreading throughout your entire body.

“… you mean a lot to me, too.” you echo, holding his hand just a little tighter. warmth rises to your cheeks. “i just felt really frustrated, i guess. like you were looking down on me. i know you weren’t actually, though.”

satoru chews at the inside of his cheek, almost anxiously. “i know i can be a little much sometimes,” he says, tasting the words on his tongue. “and i appreciate you for putting up with that. i’m sorry i let it go too far. i’ll be more considerate.”

your heart stutters in your chest. you’re not sure what to say — the way he forms his words makes them feel so absolute. and you believe him.

“i’ll be more considerate, too,” you echo, looking down at the pavement. “i shouldn’t have blown up like that.” a pause. you mumble, quietly, a little embarrassed. “i shouldn’t have told you to go fuck yourself.”

satoru breathes out an amused huff, chuckling lightheartedly. his eyes carry a teasing glint when they meet yours. “i probably deserved that. no worries.”

“still,” you pout. satoru giggles.

“we’ll both work on it, then,” he hums, tilting his head to find your gaze. “right?”

you blink. a small smile breaks out across your face. “right.”

satoru swings your hands back and forth, looking awfully happy with himself. you’re proud of him. really.

“oh —“ he says, breaking the sleepy silence once again. “and i’ll stop leaving wrappers around, too.”

this time, you’re the one who huffs out an amused breath. “thank you,” you grin, looking up at him. he thinks the sight is terribly precious.

a yawn leaves your lips, drowsiness sneaking its way into your bloodstream. you’re not sure if it’s due to the dark, or if you’re just a tad exhausted after all the arguing and panicking.

satoru notices, and gets an idea.

“you tired, baby?” he coos, eyes teasing but soft around the edges. “d’you want a piggyback ride?”

when you give him a look, sleepy and kind of exasperated, satoru grins. you huff out an amused breath, just a tad embarrassed, but it only spurs him on.

so he crouches down, one knee meeting the pavement, letting your hand slip from his. you blink, tiredly, at the loss of contact. you can’t see his face, but you know he’s wearing that lovesick, smug little grin of his.

”c’mon. your big, strong boyfriend’ll carry you.”

satoru’s feeling playful, you can tell. that’s usually a bad sign — but you can’t deny that you’re tired. and the prospect of getting carried all the way home is eerily tempting.

your gaze falls on his back, and his broad shoulders. silently, you walk towards him, and wrap your arms around his neck. satoru holds you up by your thighs, and then stands up, jostling you a little; he does so without a hitch, and you’re reminded of how strong he really is. his grip is secure, and you trust him not to drop you, no matter what.

you let out a content sigh, basking in the chill of the midnight air as you nuzzle your cheek against his soft hair. satoru chuckles.

”my sleepy lil’ sweetheart,” he coos, voice a tad raspy. ”lucky thing you’ve got me, huh?”

there’s a softness to his voice, despite the teasing tilt obscuring it. you can only huff out a breath, somewhere between a chuckle and a scoff, and cling to him tighter.

satoru will get you home safe. he can be annoying, outright insufferable, and he can be bad with emotions — but you can always, always trust him on that.

so, with his coat shielding you from the chilly air, and his back warming you up as he carries you back to your apartment, you allow your eyes to flutter shut; enjoying the cozy feeling his presence brings you.

he’ll always be there when you need him.

#NOBODY LOOK AT MEEEEE i was having a gojo moment ok.#i just think hes. the perfect man. a silly goofy princess 98% of the time but when u need him to be there hes so comforting n secure.#i Need him.#also obsessed w the idea of gojo only calling u ’honey’ when hes being particularly sincere like that does smth to me man.#gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru #gojo x reader

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mostly-imagines · 6 months ago

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Things About My Jason

aka things that might weasel their way into details of stories one day, might not

your boy is clocking in at 6’4 + 3/4 inches and about 245 lbs (he’s the only batkid to be taller than bruce).

he cusses a lot it, usually doesn’t correlate w anger or intensity its just how he expresses himself. he’ll cuss at you sometimes but not at you and he tries his best to never do it out of anger.

he’s never said it out loud but he would drop all the vigilante shit for you in a heartbeat if you wanted him to (i think he’s also the only batfam member who would do that).

you have an agreement in place to never make any big decisions in the middle of the night/post patrol—this came into place after a few too many bad nights had him coming home shaking and panicked about your safety and convinced he needed to leave you alone for good.

he kind of zones out sometimes, its bordering on dissociation.

you have a black cat, salem, that’s been around since before you and jason had even met. his yellow eyes pierce you in a way that feels like he’s glaring straight into your soul and judging what he sees. he was suspicious of jason for a while but over time has come to love and protect jason almost as much as you.

he has a lot of nervous habits that have built up over years of stress and trauma. he’ll often double or even triple check locks and cameras. his hand tends to go to where his gun holster would be, regardless of whether or not its there. he’s very conscious of your breathing, especially when you’re asleep, and when he’s stressed or upset he’ll try to align his breathing with yours. he worries that you might get annoyed with how often he checks up on you, be it asking directly, texting you, or just looking you over to make sure you’re doing okay, that you’re happy. he’s also made a habit of standing directly behind you when you’re wearing anything short, especially skirts or dresses. You’re not entirely sure if it’s intentional or not.

day to day, he runs on very little sleep naturally so he’s awake early goes to bed late. he used to not focus much on making meals that actually taste good and have thought put into them until he started dating you. he started catering his grocery trips specifically with you in mind and the things you might like. he actually prefers going on grocery trips and little mundane errands with you bc he had no idea that these tiny aspects of life could bring him so much joy and peace. he also buys you new towels and updates your first aid kit constantly, though the latter is more out of his necessity than yours. depending on his mood, he’ll usually either take scalding hot or freezing showers.

he’s 100% down to let you decorate the apartment however you want, even if you move into his place. his only ask is that he’s left with space to put his books (of which ne needs plenty). if he had to choose, he probably likes a warm atmosphere best, in terms of like lighting and colors. he’s really just not a fan of anything that feels cold or impersonal like the manor can sometimes seem. other than that he doesn’t really have opinions on it, whatever makes you happy he’ll like. but he’ll still happily go shopping with you to find stuff. but really that’ll just look like you saying “ooh look at this” and him saying “great, lets get it” at every single thing you pick up.

there are unloaded guns and ammo hidden around your apartment and also stocked generously in a closet or two. he cleans them regularly, you think he does it partially as a kind of stress reliever. before you he didn’t have too much regard for his own safety, so he would sleep with one under his pillow.

he does everything he can to keep you safe and he’ll insist on adding extra locks to the doors and windows, ones the landlord wont have keys to. yeah he’s paranoid so he’ll keep the bed as far from the door as possible and is unrelenting in his insistence that you sleep on the wall side. if you’re too tired to move, that’s okay, he’ll gently move you over himself. honestly though, your apartment is just as secure, if not more, than any of his safe houses. as such, he absolutely can and will easily hack into the lobby security cameras to check up on things. if he has to go away for a while he’ll send one of his siblings to stop by to check on you and make sure you're okay.

he prefers to wear layers, it makes him feel more secure and comfortable. he does like cutoff sleeves sometimes but only because you like them on him. aside from that, he’s usually not such a fan of showing much skin because of a) his scars and b) he feels exposed to attacks. he has so many long sleeved and warm clothes in his closet that he heavily encourages you to bundle up in some of them when its cold.

he goes through phases of bad sleep and they can vary greatly in severity. there’s nights he just physically cannot sleep and this usually originates from intense anxiety. these are easier to ease him back from and some simple comforting will be enough to get him to at least try to sleep. most commonly its the nightmares that make it hard for him. it’ll usually be a one-off that he just can’t fall back asleep afterwards. the worst is when he goes through phases of frequent nightmares, like every night, multiple times a night. when that happens, he will do everything in his power to stay awake for as long as he can. you’ve yet to find any techniques that hands down prevent or even slow the nightmares, but you’ve been able to find some remedial measures that work pretty well.

kissing him helps get his mind off scary thoughts (but not joker related) but not just like single peck it’s got to be a whole session to really work. the one that works best is having a hand on one of your pulse points while you sleep, or directly over your heart. unfortunately this did lead to him to accidentally choking you after a particularly bad nightmare. he was absolutely horrified and removed his hands from you completely the second he gained recognition. he actually fully got out of bed and backed away from you. he wouldn’t even hear you out about him not sleeping on the couch and continued to not budge on it for over a week.

him punishing himself like that made you feel extra bad because that had occurred during a round of the relentless nightmares and you were sure he was still waking up panicked constantly without you there to help soothe him. you actually know for a fact he was because every couple of hours the bedroom door would creak open slightly before shutting again like he was checking to make sure you were there and okay. you ended up having to literally lay on top of him on the couch and refuse to leave him for him to agree to sleep in bed with you again, although he was still not willing to fall asleep with his hands on you for a while.

he always needs it to be quiet when he goes to sleep so he can stay on alert which usually leads to him waking up to the littlest sounds, which is technically the point. if there’s any kind of white noise he’ll force himself to stay awake. if he does get woken up he’ll go from 0 to 100 like that. he also needs the door to be shut, non negotiable, and really prefers the apartment to be colder > hotter. it also helps that you’ll cuddle into him for warmth.

all of these things are things he did before you met, but he’d also developed some new habits after you got together. he used to sleep in the middle of the bed but now he absolutely insists that you sleep on the wall side so he can act as a protective barrier between you and any incoming danger. unless its after a rough patrol, he tends to wait to sleep until after you’ve fallen asleep. he doesn’t really have a reason for this, it just makes him feel better.

his relationship with bruce is complicated, of course. in my canon, the extent of it is that bruce didn’t kill the joker, prevented jason from doing it, and has made many attempts to stop jason from killing at all. obviously it’s not the fact that batman won’t let anybody die that broke jason’s heart, it’s that his father couldn’t let go of his moral code for a second and avenge his murdered son. the resulting anger stems from so much sadness and grief over his own death and it caused him to isolate himself even further from bruce. on a conscious level, he wanted to be far away from him emotionally as possible to protect himself while still enacting his own kind of revenge towards bruce. and so yeah, he did try to kill batman a couple times, whatever.

on an unconscious level, he’d hoped that bruce would take the initiative to try to close the space between them and apologize, and while jason didn’t know it yet: that was all he really wanted from him. inwardly, he still cares what bruce thinks and wants his approval and affection but its so conflicting for him. it also doesn’t help that it took bruce such a long time to swallow his pride and even consider that he was wrong before he could apologize. a lot of negotiations had to take place before they could even begin to really reconcile.

about a year later they’d come to a steady, solid agreement that mostly worked for both of them. jason was allowed to kill, but only within his territory in gotham and only under agreed upon circumstances. there’s also a separate rule that jason’s not allowed out on patrol when the joker is loose—it used to be a whole thing before you’d met and oftentimes several bats were assigned to keep him away. even with these guidelines in place, things were still rocky between them and jason had only just started to come back around the manor when he’d met you. honestly you and bruce meeting was a major step in this process and everyone could feel the shift.

his relationship with his brothers is different, but just as complicated. he kind of views dick as being perfect in spite of also acknowledging his flaws. in his head, its sort of like, in comparison to himself, dick had the perfect life with perfect versions of all the same pitfalls jason had to go through. he knows its not really fair to think of it this way, but it’s hard sometimes. all in all though, he does look up to dick a lot.

with tim, he thinks he’s a crazy rich kid—which, fair—but also in a weird way holds a lot of respect for tim for not being afraid of him. realistically, the way jason showed back up and his relationship with tim started is insane, so its even more insane that tim was like ‘yeah, chill’ and that probably jump started their bond as brothers more than anything.

for as much shit as he gives him, he honestly feels really bad for damian and all the shit he was raised believing. he couldn’t quite explain why, but he does see a lot of himself in damian, even past the surface level anger.

he’s not good at resolving fights, his mind tends to jump to the absolute worst and he assumes you’re done with him, you resent him, it’s all over. it was really bad at the beginning of your relationship when he hadn’t even begun to consider that you love him half as much as he loves you. now, you’ve been able to help him understand that you still love him, even when you fight, and fighting does not equal breaking up. however, he still has trouble taking initiative in making amends. not because he doesn’t want to but more so because he feels vulnerable in ways that terrify him, having to acknowledge and speak into existence that he’d done something wrong feels like setting himself up to be exposed with no defense.

another part of him feels like he already hurt you and if he tries to remedy things with you, he could just make it worse. So for a while at least, you’ll have to be the one to start the conversation, though not necessarily meaning you have to apologize first.

as we know, Jason’s not immune to bouts of fear and stress. there’s times when he panics and there’s times when he has full blown panic attacks. the panic attacks are rarer, but much more severe. he’s known to lash out (especially when he’s not at your apartment) and has definitely broken a nose or two of people who got too close/tried to touch him. you’re not sure if it’s an intentional action or not, but he tends to claw at his skin or hit himself in the head when he’s very upset. after going through a couple of these with him, you’ve compiled a thorough list of DOs and DONTs for these times. DONT hold his wrists, move suddenly, touch him without warning, or corner him. DO keep your touches light, words soft, rooms vacant of other people, and loud noises. slowly but surely they’re getting less severe and overcome quicker.

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smuttysabina · 2 months ago

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Everglow's Big Cock Impregnation

(Male Reader X Everglow, 8k Words) Tags: You have a massive cock; Like, an unreasonably huge penis; Idol impregnation; Lots of fat sloppy creampies; Anal, oral, and vaginal sex; Some messy consequences from taking a gargantuan cock; Piss; Tears; Some puking; Brutal sex; Loving sex; These girls are built like rubber; Also Jihyo shows up

You stir nervously on the bed as the idols of Everglow eye you speculatively, with expressions ranging from interested to resigned. All of them remain silent though as Sihyeon slowly reads through the letter that you had brought, her eyebrows raising higher with every line until her face is a parody of shock. She coughs awkwardly as she finishes, before giving a slight nod that makes the other girls groan with disgust; their suspicions were correct after all. Any sort of gift from that perverse matriarch Jihyo was bound to involve insemination. You of course, had already been thoroughly briefed upon what your task was to be, you were to impregnate all of Everglow, and were to continue trying until each of them had swollen bellies. Their company had been attempting to get the girls knocked up for some time, in part so they could do a pregnancy concept, and also because then they could have an actual reason for not giving the girls as many comebacks as they would like. Everglow however, had remained noticeably without child, even after countless gangbangs that had left the girls practically drowning in semen; so the expert on such matters had been consulted. Jihyo had already thoroughly examined Everglow when they had visited one of her... seminars, and so knew exactly what was required to achieve the desired results. You had been selected from amongst Twice's vast pool of breeding material, and packed off to Everglow bearing only a box and a cheerful letter from Jihyo; with her own instructions burning bright in your mind:

"Knock them up, dear," she had purred encouragingly, "and don't be afraid to be a little rough with them..."

Everglow were not entirely too pleased about their most recent assignment. They had all expected to be impregnated by their fans at some point, having their holes glutted with seed on a weekly basis would eventually result in their eggs getting properly fertilized by inferior sperm, but this was the sort of thing that usually happened near the end of a group's lifespan. Of the six idols, only EU and Sihyeon were open to the idea, the latter due to her kindly nature, while the former was simply aroused by the perversity of getting fucked while pregnant. Aisha and Mia were indifferent on the matter, they would continue to enjoy getting roughly plowed even if they had a baby bouncing around in their stomach. Onda and Yiren however, were vehemently opposed to the plan, Onda because she was horrified at the thought of having so large an object squeezed through her tight pussy, and Yiren because she was physical revolted by the concept of lowborn scum filling her with their child. So to say Everglow's reaction to your arrival was mixed would be an understatement; as they all look at the boy Jihyo had sent them, wondering what made you so special...

Aisha makes a pleased noise as she tears open the box, pulling out a purple bottle that glistened in the light, by now every idol was more than familiar with Twice's aphrodisiacal concoction; and Aisha enjoyed the raw sexual aggression it gave its drinkers. Then she notes the rather large "2" emblazoned on its label, and sighs as she reads that the new brew had tamped down on the sexual aggression in favor of... "Enhanced sperm density and capacity," Aisha gives the other girls a bland look as she tosses the expensive bottle onto the bed, "Jihyo really is serious about getting us knocked up." Yiren rolls her eyes, "If that is all it takes, then why can't we just give it to a more... suitable man," before giving you an unhappy glare. "Hey now," Sihyeon coughs awkwardly as she tries to placate Yiren, "Jihyo picked him for a reason, so let's see, okay?" Grumbling, Yiren waves at you to hurry it up, "Well?" And the rest of Everglow return to staring curiously at you, "show us already..." So you blushingly wriggle out of your pants, and wait for the inevitable mockery and disgust. "Oh," says Aisha with interest. "Wow," says EU with a perverse gleam in her eyes. "What the fuck," says Yiren naseausly. "Goodness," says a shocked Sihyeon. "Mmmph," says an aroused Mia. "Nononono," says a horrified Onda, who promptly pisses herself.

The other girls ignore the puddle spreading from beneath Onda as they thoroughly examine your truly monstrous manhood, as if someone urinating on the floor was not an uncommon sight for them. Everglow crowd around to poke and prod at your massive cock, muttering in disbelief and shock at the sheer size and heft of it, and you worry that it would all end in tears or laughter like so many of your other liaisons. Having such a gargantuan dong had meant that you had never been inside a woman before, most girls had simply refused to even try, while those that did usually ended up shaking their heads in exasperation; it simply couldn't fit. You had hoped that Jihyo would put your virginity out of its misery, but she had simply smiled knowingly and told you to hold on a little longer; she had kindly milked you using her breasts though, which had resulted in you hosing Jihyo's face down with thick semen. So you were expecting more of the same from your beloved idols of Everglow, that they would reject Jihyo's instructions and look for another way to get knocked up; really, you should have known better. While some of the girls appeared downright horrified, others looked on benignly, or even watched with obvious arousal as their sleek hands touched your meat. You shudder as Mia and EU unexpectedly lean in and smooch the length of flesh before them, before they hold their arms up to your cock in comparison, laughing with the others in wonder as your dick dwarfs their forearms. To your shock, it is Yiren who ends the festival atmosphere by making the first move.

"What the hell is that bitch trying to say, that we're too loose to get impregnated?" Yiren sneers contemptuously at you, "Fine then, I'll fuck this ridiculous thing, and then I can get back to getting bred by men who actually matter!" The other idols greet this pronouncement with cheers and teasing laughter, evidently they were as used to Yiren being a haughty bitch as they were to Onda pissing herself in fear. Sihyeon busies herself with opening the bottle of aphrodisiac, and feeds you a measure of it with a reassuring smile before backing off as warmth rushes through your body and surges in your balls. Your heart pounds in your chest as Yiren confidently strips before you, uncaring of any trepidation you might have as she stalks towards you, her perky breasts complimenting her rolling narrow hips. She shoves you onto your back with a delicate hand, before gracefully straddling your crotch, her lips curl as she takes in just how massive your cock is compared to her petite body; but her pride drives her onwards. Yiren hoists your monstrous dick, and pauses once more as it thuds between her breasts, her eyebrows raise as she looks down at you with incredulity, "Seriously, what the fuck," Grimacing, she precariously plants herself atop your drooling cockhead, which itself was nearly as wide as her entire pussy, and takes a deep breath to relax her hole. Yiren's legs tense as she applies more and more of her bodyweight to the task, and the thick trunk of your member starts to wobble dangerously, as soon the idol is forcing her entire upper body onto it. She soon has support however, as Mia, Onda, and Sihyeon work to hold your cock steady as Aisha and EU grasp their groupmate's shoulders to add their own efforts to the struggle. Yiren grits her teeth, as you feel a moist sensation slowly spreading across your tip, until with sudden tearing sensation, your cockhead pops inside of her.

Yiren screams. The rest of Everglow jerk back in surprise as Yiren howls as if she had been stabbed, clutching at her pussy and struggling to stand off of your cock, but she is trapped by the flare of your head. The other girls rush too sooth her, she might be an arrogant bitch, but she was their arrogant bitch, and under their tender touches she eventually calms herself down enough to glare down at you furiously, "Fucking peasant, how fucking dare you-" she hisses with pain as she slowly starts to move, "Why is it so damn big?" she bemoans. You would reply, but you are too busy enjoying the novel sensation of a real woman's hole wrapped around your cock. Whatever details Yiren's pampered pussy had were obliterated as it was stretched agonizingly wide to accommodate your meat, but it's burning heat and wetness stimulated you to no end as the idol picks up her pace. You instinctively reach up towards her waist to haul her further down your length, but she angrily slaps your hands away, "Don't fucking touching me, you scum! she snarls as she slowly impales herself on your cock, her entire body quivering as an obvious bulge appears in her stomach. Yiren halts with only a third of your cock inside of her, groaning as she tries to force herself deeper but is unable to do so. The rest of Everglow lounge around you both, idly masturbating beneath their skirts as she gingerly starts to ride you, the pink flesh of her pussy dragging along your shaft as she moves.

The privileged idol gradually regains her hauteur as she grows used to the massive length stretching out her belly, and soon Yiren is sneering down at you once more, "Such- a- useless- hunk- of- meat," she hisses between strokes, "You are- lucky- a lady like me- took your- worthless- fucking- virginity!" You simply lay back and take it, groaning as the aristocratic bitch perched atop your cock hurls abuse at you even while she fucks you. The changing pitch of your voice causes Yiren to pause though, and an imperious smirk crosses her face, "What, already? Very well, I shall allow your filthy, lowborn seed inside of me," she stops and gives you an expectant look, "Well peasant? I don't have all day!" With that she resumes her ride, gritting her teeth as she impatiently pleasures you until your balls are nestled against your shaft and pulsating rhythmically. Yiren preens as the first ropes of semen splash inside of her, expertly rising upwards to make room for your load as it gradually fills her, "You really think your worthless seed could- ah?" she glances down as the tight lips of her entrance bump against the flare of your cockhead, even as your seed continues to steadily flow inside of her pussy. Yiren's eyes widen in shock, and then panic as she struggles to unmount you, her pampered cunt was filled to capacity but your orgasm was not yet finished. She moans and clutches at her stomach as it bulges with your cum, but she retains enough of her pride to refuse calling for help, even shoving a finger up her urethra to stop her bladder from voiding itself from the pressure.

Only when your balls have fallen does Yiren demean herself enough to ask for assistance, her legs trembling as she struggles to hold herself upright on top of your gargantuan cock. The other girls hurry to help her off of you, they might have enjoyed watching her getting her guts pummeled, but they would still support the arrogant bitch no matter what. Your dick slams wetly against your chest as Yiren finally succeeds in unmounting you, a gush of seminal fluids and precum follows, but the majority of your enhanced load remains within the idol. Everglow seems to have mostly forgotten about you as they sooth a groaning Yiren, though they are quick to examine the load currently clogging her insides. Which causes EU to undiplomatically note, "I think you're getting pregnant whether you like it or not, his jizz is like butter!" Yiren, of course, is deeply unhappy about this, and the other girls retreat as she petulantly drives them off, before quietly crying and shamelessly pissing on the bed. Sihyeon remains behind to give her some comfort, but the rest of Everglow now eye with far more respect than before, as well as desire. "So," says Aisha as she pulls up her dress, revealing the flushed, cinnamon-colored slit between her legs, and gives you a sleazy grin, "Me next then?"

Aisha's long legs are wide open in welcome as you approach, your monstrous manhood bobbing between your legs, already leaking once more after you received another draught of aphrodisiac. Unlike Yiren, Aisha's meaty pussy was more than ready for you, her lower lips gaping, and her hole already drooling creamy fluids in anticipation for your dick. You press your tip against her entrance, but it keeps slipping upwards, grinding against her hooded clit as it penetrates the air above her belly. Aisha laughs at your frustration, but is as eager as you are to fuck, so she guides you inside of her; though she does tease you remorselessly as she does so. Her eyes roll back as your thick member pushes inside of her, and she lets out a sultry groan as you slowly stretch her out, her gushing folds slobbering all over your shaft as you fill her. The warmth of her body thrills you as you steadily shove yourself deeper into Aisha, and it only stops when you are nearly all the way in, no matter how hard you press against her completely expanded cunt. Aisha pokes at herself just beneath her ribcage, and gives you an impressed look, "Fuck, I don't think you can go any deeper," she pauses for a moment, before a salacious smile crosses her face, "This is going to be fun..."

You had never been active with a woman before, so to say your technique was terrible would be an understatement. You clumsily adjusted your bodyweight as you awkwardly attempted to thrust into Aisha, your motions tentative as you don't want to injure her with your colossal cock. But Aisha is not Yiren, and after a few minutes of fumbling she sighs and gives you an encouraging pat on the cheek, "I'm not fragile you know, be as rough as you'd like," So you stop holding back, and attempt to put more weight behind your movement, making her gasp every time you hit deepest spot, but it still isn't enough. Aisha slaps you, "I said, be rough, virgin," she hisses up at you, and adrenaline surges through at this shaming. You pull all the way back until the flare of your cockhead touches her entrance, before viciously slamming your entire length into her. Aisha's eyes balloon, and she gulps dangerously before stabilizing, her entire body quivering from the violence of your insertion; her lips spread into a wicked grin, "Good boy... just, like, that!" With her greedy cunt wrapping itself as tightly around you as it can, you vigorously plow the idol into the bed, making the sensuous slut grunt like an animal as you pound her insides out of shape. Aisha climaxes repeatedly, dousing your crotch with vast quantities of squirt that eventually transforms into almost continuous pissing as she completely loses control of her bladder.

The puddle soaking into the soggy sheets only grows as you actively fuck a woman for the first time in your life, reveling in the cramped warmth you are forcing your member into. Her lower lips sputter noisily as the pressure from your fucking causes steamy air to rush out of her hole, and her butt palpitates weakly as her guts are pistoned. Aisha seems to be enjoying it as much as you are, holding tightly onto Onda's hand, who gives you curiously furious glances as she attempts to needlessly sooth her friend. The other two members of your audience are busy chattering away as they watch you rutting with Aisha, with both EU and Mia fondling the site of yours and Aisha's joining, "Fuck, look how deep he is!" "Wow, good thing we cleaned our asses out before this, Aisha's is wide open!" "Literally fucking the guts out of her!" "I wonder if I could fit him all..." "You can't get knocked up through your butt, Mia!" "Eh, just scoop it out and shove it in my cunt." "Gladly! Hmm I wonder..."

Aisha gasps beneath you suddenly, and you feel someone's narrow arm pressing up against your balls, as Aisha's pussy abruptly clamps down on your cock like a vice, "Fuck... they're in my ass," she manages through gritted teeth before spasming once more as she messily orgasms all over your crotch. The squelching stimulation of the idol's cunt already had you on the edge, but the arousing realization that the sultry Aisha was getting anally fisted while you were stretching her out was too much for you to handle. Your strokes grow long and deep, as you instinctively seek to force your cock as deep as possible inside of her before planting your seed in her belly. Helping hands urge your swaying balls upwards, as Aisha's lithe legs lock tightly and around your waist, ensuring there would be no pulling out even if you wanted to. She cups your cheeks and nods encouragingly, growling lustfully for you to knock her up as the bulge your tip is making pulsates almost between her perky breasts. You groan as pleasure surges up your shaft and spills into Aisha, whose eyes roll back from the perverse stimulation of being impregnated, her entire body quivering as it takes your semen. Much like with Yiren, your cock is forced back out by the immensity of your load, but unlike with the previous idol, Aisha was capacious enough to take it all without to much trouble; and she is left looking smug when you finally stop shuddering with your cock only halfway out of her.

Aisha's pussy makes disgustingly sloppy noises when you pull out of it, as she lays back and idly strokes her stomach, "Ugh, I am so fucking sore," she lifts her head up to look at you, "Thanks for the fuck though, and the baby I guess," before laughing painfully. Her cunt gapes lewdly, drenched with piss and sexual fluids, palpitating as its owner breathes heavily, thoroughly inseminated. EU curls up against her, the pair whispering conspiratorially while Onda holds Aisha's head in her lap, glaring irritably at you. Mia drags your attention away from the somewhat endearing tableau, by returning with a familiar purple bottle, and teasingly opening your mouth to feed you some of the aphrodisiac by hand. Once she was satisfied you had swallowed enough to give her a properly potent load, the idol promptly bends over and spreads her cheeks for you; calling over EU to lube her up. The pervert responds with gusto, sloppily eating out Mia's asshole while you watch with cock in hand, shoving her tongue as deep as possible inside of her friend while she moans with pleasure. Eventually, Mia musters up enough energy to swat EU away, laughingly telling her, "No, actually get some lube you idiot! I'm going to need more than spit to take... that," she says, glaring meaningfully at your monstrous member.

EU proceeds to empty nearly an entire bottle of lubricant into Mia's butt, squeezing it until her guts were awash, before using the remaining fluids to lather your cock. You shudder as her tiny hand skillfully stroke your thick meat, working it until it was bulging at full length and ready to fill her friend. Wearing a nasty smile, EU guides you to the other idol, who was waiting patiently with her anus gaping in soggy welcome. Your bulbous cockhead slowly forces Mia's asshole wider, causing her to stiffen as you gradually strain the flesh around it, until with a sudden push you were inside. Mia's legs spasm, and she almost collapses from the entrance of your colossal manhood, but she catches herself and looks back at you in amusement, "Wow, you are thick, I won't be able to sit down after this!" You deliberately work yourself deeper inside of her, the tight coils of her ass wrapping themselves around your shaft far differently than the soft folds of Aisha and Yiren's pussies had. You groan in amazement as you grasp her petite waist, watching inch after inch of your cock disappearing inside Mia, until finally your weighty balls kiss her drooling slit. The idol gurgles in triumph, her toes twitching as she clutches at her belly, moaning in pained pleasure as she struggles to deal with the massive spear of flesh impaling her guts. You were finally balls-deep inside of a woman.

Trembling, you pull out until most of your glistening length is revealed before shoving yourself all the way inside once more. When you had first entered Mia, you had had to slowly press through several interior sphincters, but now you simply blew through all of them. Mia promptly pisses on the bed as she nearly passes out from the trauma, her breath hiking dangerously until Sihyeon sprints over with a trashcan; just in the nick of time. Mia vomits spectacularly into the black trash bag, heaving with every thrust as you find yourself unable to stop from pleasuring your cock with her innards. Not that any of the idols seemed inclined to stop you from violating her during her vulnerable moment, and the lady herself seemed to be furiously masturbating the entire time. The soft flesh of her asscheeks pressing against your crotch while your entire shaft was inside of her warm body was intoxicating, you were starting to see why everyone loved doggy position so much. Mia quivers uncontrollably as you force her insides out of shape, brutally pounding away at her body, impossibly deep inside of her but she still does not tap out. Instead she continues to climax, groaning as she indulges in one of her more extreme fetishes; you only wish you could see her face as she gruntingly urges you on. Soon the stimulation from having your entire length pleasured has your balls throbbing once more, which does not go unnoticed by the experienced slut, "You! Cum in," she growls through gritted teeth, "my, cunt!" But as the moment fast approaches you find yourself unable to resist Mia's sloppy asshole...

Luckily, Everglow were not about to waste one of your loads inside Mia's intestines, even if EU seemed more than happy to scoop it out into her cunt, and EU and Sihyeon promptly haul Mia off of your cock. What looks to be a decent portion of the idol's asshole follows you out, a spasming pink tube that gapes uselessly as it strains to pull itself back inside of its owner's body. Your dick twitches mournfully as it leaves the warm confines of Mia's anus, and your hands grasp at the air in surprise, until the pair promptly yank Mia back up; except this time they make sure that your member enters the lower hole. You and Mia both gasp as your filthy cock slams into her unprepared pussy, filling her only to only half your length, but it was enough to drag the semen up from your balls. Groaning, you fuck Mia's cunt as best you can as rope after rope of cum spews inside of her, but you are surprised to discover that your cock is not forced back by the sheer volume of sperm inundating her. Mia looks back at you, drooling as she proudly gurgles, "Fuck, my womb is so full..." Evidently Mia's cervix had been loosened by excessive use, and you can already feel yourself stiffening slightly at the thought of violating her most sacred place. The idol laughs as she feels it, "Hit me up in a week or something, I want to try getting my guts filled up until I'm puking your cum," she pauses thoughtfully, "We can try fitting you into my womb as well, but you won't get much inside."

You leave Mia laying there on the bed after promising to call her, blandly trying to shove the prolapsed length of her guts back where it belonged with little success; and hopefully with a well-fertilized egg attached to her ravaged womb. Which of course, still left half of Everglow to impregnate, and so you look around to find your next partner. Sihyeon was busy bustling around looking for Twice's special sauce, while EU was having a hilarious time playing with Mia's blown-out anus, and Onda... Onda was still busy soothing Aisha, but the moment she notices your attention she makes a break for it, going nearly horizontal as she scrambles to get off the bed. The other girls howl in outrage as they notice her attempting to escape, but Aisha is quick to grasp her ankle, and Onda plows a furrow through the sheets as she faceplants onto the mattress. EU and Sihyeon scuttle over, and are soon locked in a vicious melee as the recalcitrant idol attempts to fight them off. Aisha and Mia exhaustedly haul themselves closer to assist in pinning her down, and soon Onda is on her back with her legs painfully forced open. Who wails like the damned as you position yourself in front of her and receive your usual draught, her eyes boggling at the stupendous sight of your gargantuan cock twitching so close to her sex. The rest of Everglow roll their eyes at her dramatic behavior in exasperation, evidently they were used to this.

"Onda, just relax okay- ouch! She bit me!" Mia hisses in pain and Onda struggles to free her arm from the annoyed idol's grasp. "Ow, watch it!" "Can someone please grab their panties?" "Mine are covered in piss..." "Whatever, just shove it in her mouth!" "Mmmmmppphh!" Onda screams through the stinking fabric, struggling mightily to escape to little avail. "Maybe if you actually did some stretching exercises, you wouldn't be so worried," Aisha shakes her head indulgently, "Seriously," EU pipes in, "If Yiren's pampered pussy can take it, yours can too!" Onda merely whines pitifully as the rest of Everglow vent themselves a little bit, before remembering you were right there. At their urging, you hesitantly move between Onda's legs, you really didn't want to hurt the poor girl, even if the other girls were acting so callous about it. So you cautiously put your tip against her neat lips and start gently pushing.

You could not get it in. You started applying more and more pressure, but Onda's pussy was simply unable to stretch wide enough to accommodate even your tip, even as you start to put your entire body-weight into it. Urine sprays wildly over all of you as Onda's bladder lets loose in an animalistic defensive response, futilely pissing on you in an attempt to drive you away as she writhes beneath you. Eventually you are forced to stop, your frustration growing as you find yourself once more unable to enter a girl due to the massive size of your manhood; idols were supposed to be able to handle you! Luckily, like most idols, Everglow knew how to help a girl along, and quickly get to work loosening Onda up while Sihyeon entertains you. She sucks your tip and strokes your shaft, kissing up and down your length while behind her the trio are hard at work ravishing Onda's erogenous zones and gradually stretching out her cramped entrance. Once the faux-virgin had been suitably loosened up, the girls urge you to try again, and this time the initial portion of your tip makes some headway before coming to stop. Onda practically chews through her gag as she wriggles, trying to escape her coming impalement but unable to do so with three girls pinning her down. Only when Sihyeon presses herself against you, and adds her bodyweight to your own, does your cockhead finally pop inside of Onda before almost immediately hitting her limit.

Onda shrieks bloody murder and goes berserk, clawing at the bed in a frenzy before exhaustion takes hold and she moans piteously, her hips quivering. Her pussy was even tighter than Yiren's, almost crushing your tip as it sought to expel it from her cramped canal, and you could barely fit any more of your dick inside of her. Unable to properly stimulate your manhood, you are reduced to awkwardly fucking the few inches of pussy that you could; this might take a while... Or it would if Everglow were a bunch of squealing virgins, which they weren't (no matter how much Onda tried to pretend), and leaving AIsha to keep Onda's arms down, the other three start to skillfully work your load out. Mia plies your balls and taint with her tongue, urging your sack upwards, while EU and Sihyeon kiss you and rhythmically stroke your shaft until you can almost believe that you are fucking Onda. While not the most intimate sex you've had today, having four beautiful idols all pleasuring you was far from unpleasant, and you enjoy fondling them while they do so. You are surprised at how smooth and supple their bodies are, you should have been feeling them up from the start! Your excitement builds, and soon a familiar warmth is coursing down your shaft, you groan as you feel your load pour into the helpless Onda, whose tight cunt struggles to contain the semen pouring into it. The idol thrashes around, her eyes widening with horror as a bulge starts to show in her belly, spit foaming from her lips while she howls through her gag. Abruptly, Onda stops moving, her eyes roll back, and she promptly passes out, even as her pussy continues to slowly expand with buttery cum.

It takes some effort to extract the small portion of your cock from Onda's snug cunt, but once you remove yourself, it only gapes for a few moments before closing until it was at its original diameter. Aisha curls up with the unconscious idol, reversing their roles as she now tenderly cares for Onda like she had for Aisha. Mia meanwhile sprawls loosely on the bed, she was already tired after getting her guts rearranged, and having to help with Onda's impregnation had sapped what energy remained. Sihyeon meanwhile wanders out, politely excusing herself before leaving; only for a short while though she insists. EU pulls your attention away from the other girls by kissing you passionately, hungrily forcing her tongue down your throat and pressing her petite body against yours. Your cock is squished between your sweaty bodies, the tip nestled between her perky breasts while you gleefully grope her soft butt. EU growls between kisses, "I want it. I want you so fucking bad," she moves down to your neck, latching on like a lamprey and leaving her mark on your skin. She plants kisses as she winds down to your nipples, sucking and teasing them until she is satisfied before slobbering all over your cockhead. EU's face is flushed with excitement as she gives you a nasty grin, "Hey, gotta piss?"

You realize with a start that you are indeed in need of a lengthy bathroom break, but before you can excuse yourself the pervert idol offers you an easy solution. "Why don't you just piss in my ass then," EU smirks, "Or wherever you like, really. I am down for... anything" she purrs, drawing out the last word seductively, as she demurely looks up at you. She rises once more and nibbles on your ear, eager to corrupt you, "And by anything, I mean it. Wanna fill my throat with your cock, rape my ass until I scream, plow me until I break, make me eat your filthy ass out, piss in my mouth until I puke it out, roleplay as your cute little sister? C'mon, c'mon! Let's make it nasty," Her eyes gleam with excitement as she slowly pries your most depraved fantasies out of you, things you had always wanted to do with a naughty girl but never had. EU giggles maniacally as she sees your depraved urges win over, licking your cheek as she asks, "So, where are you pissing then, baby?"

EU looks excitedly up at you, her mouth wide open with her fingers prying her cutesy cheeks even wider, her tongue sticking straight out. The initial stream of urine splashes over her face before you can zero in on her mouth, which steadily fills with yellow fluid until she swallows it with a gulp. But EU's mouth starts filling up a moment later, and her throat bobs steadily as she does her best to swallow every last drop of your urine. Her gag reflex suddenly catches, and she coughs your latest load of piss up, leaning back as you continue to shower her with stinking liquid until she is soaked in it. EU looks smug as your bladder finally finishes emptying itself, licking her lips clean, "So how did you like using an idol like a piss-rag?" She grins sleazily as your manhood bulges in answer, rubbing her slit that was dripping with more than just urine, "Fuck I want it inside of me so bad..." EU scrambles up and forces you back down to your knees before straddling you like a monkey, rubbing her drooling cunt against your cockhead, moaning eagerly. You had thought the smallest member of Everglow would be even more difficult to penetrate than Onda, but instead your dick slips inside of EU as easily as it had into Aisha. Both of your eyes widen as a bulge slowly travels up her stomach until it nestles between her tits, and you realize that almost the entirety of your cock was buried inside of the petite idol. EU smirks, and voluntarily pisses on your crotch in celebration, "I told you I make a good fleshlight..."

You groan loudly as you use EU like a cheap sex toy, her legs wrapped tightly around your waist, her toned body light enough to lift with ease as you slam it down your length again and again. The perverted idol squirts repeatedly as you pound her innards out of shape, gasping and squealing as her surprisingly stretchable pussy devours your monstrous cock. "Breakmebreakmebreakmebreakme-" she wails as her tongue lolls, her tummy bulging obscenely as your dick forces its way through her insides, and loving every second of it. Moaning, you continue to pleasure yourself with the petite girl, churning her sloshing stomach with every thrust until a hint of panic enters her eyes, and she hurriedly motions for you to turn her around. So you drop her, and she squirms off your cock, looking around desperately for support, and a queasy-looking Yiren crawls over dragging the trashcan. EU gratefully opens her mouth to say thanks, but instead of gratitude, partially-digested piss spews out of it, and only most of it makes it inside of the bin. Yiren grimaces and curses in disgust at the sight, while you are treated to the far more arousing display of EU's sloppy cervix forcing its way out of her gaping cunt, her womb prolapsing itself.

So of course you take EU from behind, even with her head buried in a trashcan, shoving her womb back into place and sending fresh convulsions through her with every thrust. Her pussy spasms around your cock every time she retches, squeezing your cock in new and interesting ways, while she squirts and pisses all over the sheets. Yiren scowls at your indecorous display of lust, but the stench coming from the bin gets to her too, and she unhappily joins her fellow idol in noisily venting her stomach. Once she has finished filling the trashcan with a frothing mess, EU looks back at you with an exhausted yet ecstatic gleam in her eyes, "You literally fucked your piss out of me," she gurgles happily, "fuck, it feels like you're breaking me in half!" a shudder runs through her as she climaxes once more, "C'mon, make me your fleshlight, ruin me, I'm your toy!" Groaning you hoist the petite idol up and do just that, viciously slamming her down onto your gargantuan cock as your muscles burn with adrenaline. EU's tiny body shudders with pleasure as it is abused beyond its limits, the perverted slut unable to do anything other than orgasm and beg for more, your dick so deep inside of her it nearly is coming out of her throat.

You had always destroyed your plastic fleshlights when you finally came, so it only made sense that you were doing the same to your first flesh-and-blood fleshlight as well. EU's arms flail as the supreme moment approaches, burbling eagerly in anticipation of your massive load; while your thrusts grow long and deep. She babbles happily as her cunt quivers around your length, urging you to pump her full of seed, to put your baby in her tiny belly. "Breedmebreedmebreedme!" EU squeals as she feels your shaft pulsating, and her cries grow higher in pitch as your load erupts inside of her stretched out pussy, drooling uncontrollably as she climaxes from the sheer pleasure of being bred. The petite idol shudders, impaled upon your cock as your seed pours into her ravaged hole, unable to escape and unwilling to do so. You groan as rope after rope spews into EU slowly filling her until your cock was mostly outside of her and you were forced to drop her onto her hands and knees; whereupon she promptly collapses in a soggy puddle of fluids and piss. With a disgusting plop, you pull out of her pussy, which sputters foully as your thinner seed and precum leaks out of her blown out cunt. EU strokes her distended stomach and coos, "I-I'm gonna have a baby! Sorry," she gurgles as she starts to pass out, "your mom is a pervert..."

As exhausted as the rest of Everglow after your frantic sex with EU, you collapse back onto the bed, your chest heaving as you try and recover from your exertions. Whereupon Sihyeon returns, cheerfully waving her knee-support, "Okay, I found it everyone! Did I miss much?" She takes in the situation, Yiren with her face buried in the trashcan, still heaving, and EU, with her creampied cunt gaping wide open and passed out in a puddle of her own piss and cum; and doesn't even blink. She beams as she notes the thoroughly inseminated state of EU's pussy, and kindly rubs Yiren's back before hauling her out of the trashbin and onto the bed, where she groans and clutches at her stomach. Only then does Siyheon plop down next to you with a smile, "Well it's my turn now, isn't it?" she rummages around in the tangled sheets until she pulls out the bottle of aphrodisiac, giving it an experimental shake before giving you a quizzical look, "EU did give you some before you bred her, right?" she sighs as you tiredly think about it, "Oh well, you can just come back next week and try it again, and I'm sure Mia wouldn't mind getting some sex in as well," she pats your cheek affectionately, "but it's our turn now, so let's put a baby in my belly!" with that she carefully gives you a hefty draught of purple liquid, before smooching you gently.

Unlike the previous member of Everglow, Sihyeon seems content to take her time with things, and lavishes you with attention as she slowly nurses your cock to full length. She gives you kisses aplenty, as well as intimate cuddles while she gingerly strokes your shaft, working the blood back into it with surprising care. Sihyeon urges you to relax and regain your energy, massaging you with her hands, kneading your flesh, and licking and sucking upon your erogenous zones, but always making sure to return to press her lips against yours. Slowly but surely, your erection returns, and with it your arousal, which you can only partially slake by exploring Sihyeon's body as thoroughly as she was working yours; squeezing her modest breasts and rubbing her butt. The idol is visibly pleased to see your lust returning, but is still firmly insistent that she initially set the pace, to make sure you do not strain yourself unduly before finishing. Sihyeon raises your cock skywards once more, and like Aisha before her, attempts to squat awkwardly atop it before grimacing as her knee spasms; even with her brace she could not put too much pressure on it. So instead she leans it back downwards and straddles your chest, her stomach pressed against your face, and mounts it horizontally instead, sliding slowly down your body until your monstrous member is all the way in her.

Sihyeon looks somewhat self-conscious as she sits atop your crotch, as if waiting for criticism, but you are at a loss as to why until you realize the sheer mundanity of the situation. Sihyeon had taken your entire gargantuan dick without any trouble at all, she was not wailing in pain, pissing herself uncontrollably, or puking her guts out; instead she was seated calmly atop it, faintly embarrassed but otherwise without distress. What was most striking though was how different her pussy felt, its soft folds cradled your cock, instead of attempting to crush your dick as it was stretched out; was this how ordinary sex felt like? Sihyeon coughs awkwardly, "I hope you don't mind, I'm a little... looser than the other girls" rocking slowly atop your cock as you rush to assure her that you were more than satisfied with her pussy. She flushes slightly, "Well then, let's get started, shall we?" With that Sihyeon starts to ride you, unable to get much height into her bounces due to her knee, she still manages to get enough movement in to stimulate your cock. You let out a moan as her fleshy insides massage your shaft, softly pleasuring you with its heat and wetness as much as its tender pressure.

Your lovemaking was relaxed and intimate, with your hands around Sihyeon's waist guiding her down your length, while she alternatively groped herself or ran her hands down your chest. When the idol finally climaxes, it is with little fanfare, she simply moans and jerkily grinds on your cock for a few moments as her pussy spasms around your member; you were pleasantly surprised to not get showered with urine for once. Sighing languidly, Sihyeon's eyes flicker open and she gives you a flirtatious smile, "Want to be on top this time, how would you like me?" You were tempted to take her in doggy, but with the intimate mood of the sex, there really was only one position to choose... Sihyeon giggles shyly at your answer, and leans back, smoothly pulling you on top of her as she goes so that you end up in missionary. She hikes her hips upwards and wraps her legs around your shoulders, ensuring you would be able to reach as deep as possible inside of her, "I haven't done mating press in a while," she muses as you position yourself atop her thighs and start thrusting. Now on top, you were able to maintain a steady rhythm, almost bouncing on top of Sihyeon as you dragged most of your length out of her before slamming it back into her capacious pussy. The idol seems mostly untroubled by your vigorous thrusts, smiling knowingly as she kindly urges you on, your faces only inches apart as you make love. Her soft folds lavish your shaft with moist warmth, pulling you deep inside of her again and again as your hefty balls slap against her asshole. Sihyeon's eyes widen as your pace quickens, and her pussy tightens noticeably around your manhood to spur you on, "Yes," she gasps, "just relax, let it all out, that's it..." You groan and kiss her as heat surges up through your shaft, melting into her as the turgid warmth of your seed spills into her belly.

You thrust gently as your balls empty themselves into Sihyeon's fertile pussy, staying hilt-deep inside of her as your semen gradually floods into her hole that stretches ever deeper to accommodate your load. You both shudder in the afterglow of sex, pleased by the comfortable normality of the sex that was usually far from ordinary, relishing in the warmth of one another's' bodies. Eventually you recover enough to gingerly unstick yourself from her, the sweat from your passionate coupling having fused your skin together. Sihyeon sluggishly rubs her stomach, "There is so much in me," she marvels wearily, "I think I might have just gotten knocked up..." She gives your hand a loving squeeze and you take the hint to pull out, and crosses her legs behind you to seal your seed inside of her; she was making absolutely sure her egg would get fertilized. Sihyeon glances around, visually collecting the other members; EU was still passed out in the puddle of fluids, Aisha and Onda were curled up together napping, Yiren had fallen asleep not far from them, and Mia was noisily pissing in the trashcan. Sighing, she gives you a sleepy smile, "Well, thank you for stopping by and impregnating us all, and do remember to come back in a week to make sure EU actually got bred! Ummm," she pauses thoughtfully, "I guess we can discuss parentage stuff later? Don't worry too much about it though, we will be putting Forever down on the bitch certificate," she winks knowingly, before awkwardly waving goodbye, "So, see you in a week, and hopefully at our next fanmeets!"

As you leave, Mia glances up at you, still shamelessly squatting over the trashbin, and gives you an enticing smirk, "Try to save up until then, you can fuck me after you finish plowing that pervert full of cum again," You blush at this crass statement, but know that more likely than not you would follow her sordid request. Once you leave the room, you are politely escorted out of the building and bundled into a waiting car, which takes you directly back to Jihyo's lair in the JYPE building. Once there, the matriarch herself quizzes you intensely on what occurred, nodding approvingly as you relate how exactly you had creampied each member of Everglow; her nose wrinkles with faint disgust at times, but she remains encouraging throughout. After a solid hour of debriefing, she insists that you help yourself to a hearty meal, and kindly reminds you to drink lots of water, before assigning you a room near hers for the night; she wanted to make sure you recovered without an overnight interruption. You fall asleep in the luxurious covers, exhausted, yet pleased by your performance, it was not everyday that you got to lose your virginity to one of your favorite idol groups, let alone impregnate each and every one of them...

You gradually awaken, aware as always of the colossal weight of your morning wood resting against your chest, but was surprised by the additional heaviness of another person as well. Your startled motion awakens your curvaceous bed-partner, who languidly sits up, stretching before giving you a motherly smile, "Good morning, dear," Jihyo says with a kindly yet hungry gleam in her eyes, "Now it's time for mommy to enjoy herself as well..." she purrs as she leans down to kiss you.

You might have a massive cock, but that didn't mean Jihyo couldn't have you begging for mercy within minutes...

#smut #kpop smut #everglow smut #aisha smut #e:u smut #mia smut #onda smut #sihyeon smut #yiren smut #Everglow fanfic

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danieyells · 3 months ago

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@yuri-is-online @jadeleechsupportgroup

Taiga, Romeo, and Gluttony

NOTE: This post contains spoilers for the entirety of the recently released Auction chapter. Read at your own risk.

So the recent chapter was everything to me. It was the shortest, but in my opinion it showed us a lot about Taiga and Romeo and their relationship to one another, and it also helped me refine a specific thought I had about Taiga and his whole deal he has going on.

To put it shortly; I think Taiga has a gluttony curse, and I think it functions as a mirror to that of Romeo's stigma, and is part of why they had a falling out, and why they can't seem to get away from each other.

To put it horrifically, horribly long....

So what do I mean when I say Taiga is cursed? Well, exactly that. I believe he's cursed in a similar way Rui or the MC are; he has an insatiable need to eat anomalies. I believe that this grants certain side effects like the MC and Rui's curse, and that one of them is a sixth sense for anomalies and anomalous circumstances.

I want to explain this before the Romeo part, because it's the basis for my analysis and thoughts on the two of them.

To start from the very beginning; I think Taiga, during one of his missions, was cursed by something like a jikininki as punishment for his 'gluttony' — the rapid rate at which he completed missions in his first year. This left him with his insatiable need to eat anomalies, but more specifically, is the reason he doesn't seem to want to eat them.

While I'm not certain the anomaly is for certain a jikininki, especially because there's certainly other similar folk legends out there, I chose that one specifically because they are noted for their sharp teeth and for not liking the insatiable need to eat corpses.

Now, what does this mean for Taiga? I think he's stuck between being a ghoul and being a jikininki, or whatever anomaly it ends up being, and I think this has given him a sixth sense that messes with his perception of time, self, and memory. But why would it do that?

Jikininki are immortal creatures, and wish to be freed from the torment they're in for the most part. If one was cursed to be part Jikininki, it would make sense for their existence to be similarly excruciating, with a difference being a lack of full immortality.

Remember the Mortkranken chapter, with the failed mermaid flesh? How their bodies continued even as their minds didn't? Taiga has multiple lines detailing how his 'body' remembers, even if his mind doesn't. Yuri and Jiro also explain that part of the side effects of the reaction are rapid mental deterioration. If Taiga had gone through a similar deterioration, it would explain his seemingly sporadic memory loss (not total blackouts like Jiro, nor specific category based amnesia either, just like. Random shit) and the fact that he doesn't have a concrete sense of identity (showcased through his constantly shifting first-person pronoun choice in Japanese). His cells of his body are reverting to their pre-aged self, and his mind is attempting to do that too, but it's imperfect and messy.

The key to the idea of the sixth sense comes from the fact that he's specifically cursed for anomalous gluttony. I think that he can sense anomalous material or anomalies themselves, and as demonstrated from Ed, this includes some sort of future sense. While we don't know the full specifics of what a sixth sense grants, we can see him utilise it in multiple different places. It's also, in my opinion, why he was sent on the Prologue mission.

Some examples of his supposed sixth sense are how he intuitively understood the anomalous dealer's entire thing, the scenes where he knows the Like Dove will appear before it does, when he senses Romeo approaching (Romeo is carrying an anomaly: his artifact), how he understands the auction is an anomaly, when he gets the mask under unknown circumstances, when he directly knows there's no anomalies... the list honestly could go on forever.

There's one other fact that I personally believe sealed this theory for me; his association with Haku.

In the recent chapter, when the MC is thinking about who to talk to about curses, Taiga instantly knows who we're thinking of, and rejects it on the basis that '[He] can't get rid of curses unless the anomaly that did the deed's right in front of him.' and that he's a 'Simp for the rules anyway.'

... Which is interesting, since it seems like Taiga has tried to ask him about this before. But if you think of this as Haku's stigma, and imagine Taiga trying to get his curse cleansed before, it makes sense! It would also be a good reason to put Haku and Taiga together in the prologue; Taiga can track the anomaly with his sense, and Haku can cleanse whatever curse it gives so long as Taiga manages to capture it or subdue it for long enough.

(Which, side note, is so tragic for the MC...)

Okay, now that the basis of 'Taiga is cursed' is out of the way, how on earth does this relate to Romeo?

Simple. I think Taiga's curse directly mirror's Romeo's stigma, and it's what caused their rift.

Romeo's stigma, as we learn in the new chapter as well, is dependent on his attachment to the items he throws. This, thematically, works with Romeo, who is known to be greedy. Everything he does is motivated by a profit of some kind, whether that profit is social or monetary or whatever. He wants special privileges so he does special missions. He wants money so he raises fees and coerces people to gamble. He wants popularity so he dresses nicely and pampers himself. It doesn't always mean he is money grubbing and stingy (because we see he's willing to spend lavishly on grooming and decor!) but it means that he's attached to what he has. His stigma requires him to give up that attachment. It is a punishment, a sacrifice, as a result of the pact. Similar to how Luca lost his brother (and gained a protective stigma), Romeo has to lose what he feels is worth something in order to fully utilise his ability. Call it a sort of pride.

I think, on the other hand, Taiga's curse is one of envy. He has a desire to eat anomalies, yes, but the desire becomes stronger the more attached someone else is to the anomaly. He doesn't need any interest in it, really. If someone else likes it he will need to eat it.

Taiga covets Haru's Peekaboo to eat instead of the wild one that we also know is in Jabberwock. He's composed about the Like Dove (barely, but he restrains himself!) until Romeo wants it. He steals the plants from Rui's BAR, not the ones in the garden outside (both are Rui's, but his bar is arguably the more loved thing of his since it was fully his choice). He covets Mortkranken's anomalies, and becomes mildly obsessed with the immortal one as soon as it becomes a major research subject. He's also completely fine holding and handling the mask, presumably for a long time, up until Romeo sees it as valuable and worthy.

Now, this doesn't necessarily make them instantly incompatible. But when you take one of Romeo's core traits being 'Greed towards anomalies' (He wants to collect them and frequently complains that other houses are 'stealing' them from under him; he sells them; he gets missions from Hyde to get them; etc), it becomes evidently clear that Taiga's curse is directly oppositional to it.

I think it's pretty obvious by now that Taiga and Romeo have a pretty turbulent relationship now, but were extremely close in the past. Multiple characters state that it would be nice to see them on good terms again, and it's certainly worth mentioning that Romeo is one of the few people Taiga consistently remembers. They both know each other exceptionally well, too. Taiga knows how to get under Romeo's skin and Romeo knows Taiga's habits.

Going back to the idea of this curse causing their rift, if Romeo was constantly on the verge of an important capture, or even if there was just one mission that was important, and Taiga ruined it by eating the anomaly, I doubt Romeo would easily forgive and forget. I think it could very easily cause a massive rift that just kept growing with each new snack Taiga picked up.

I think a moment that gets its nuance overlooked a lot is the scene just before Taiga eats the dove. The Japanese line emphasises that Taiga is referring to HIS heart, that Romeo could shoot through HIS heart, not just a general appraisal of sharpshooting. He even points directly to his heart as he says this, and it makes Romeo hesitate. They're BOTH in pain in this scene. They're both conflicted; this is their ex-partner (which I don't mean in the romantic sense, just in the general sense) who they were very, very close with, and who is now literally at arms length with a loaded gun. Romeo could just shoot him. Romeo could put an end to all of this supposed pain. And Taiga might even let him. And wouldn't that be karma for all he's done? But he can't. He hesitates.

And you know what appears after that? The dove.

This dove that symbolises both general desire (flies over peoples' heads when they're thought about) and Romeo's desire. His desire to escape probation. His desire to make money. His desire to capture, not kill. His desire to reconcile instead of fight. His desire to shoot.

And Taiga kills it. Eats it.

I think this is the most tragic scene between the two of them. This is the crux of it; they both want to reconcile. They want to be friends, to be close, to stop the war raging between the two of them that has done nothing but hurt them both AND hurt the wellbeing of Sinostra, but they can't, because Romeo will ALWAYS desire, and Taiga will ALWAYS take that from him.

It's a cycle they can't escape. The auction chapter shows it too. Taiga is almost disappointed at Romeo's greed. He seems jaded by it, and seems proud and happy when Romeo gives it up for once. Romeo is happy too; MC goes out of her way to say that Taiga handing him the mask makes him look more peaceful than he ever has before. It is quite literally a perfect ending for the two of them and a perfect way to reconcile.

And then Taiga eats it! Again! But I think the most horrifying part of it is that he tries to warn Romeo.

The comic doesn't translate or even transcribe it, so it's so, so easy to miss, especially if you don't speak Japanese, but Taiga grunts out the words 'I', 'Eat', and 'Next' as he approaches Romeo and the mask, and it's the direct reason why Romeo is able to realise that Taiga is about to eat it before it actually happens. He basically just grunts out 'I'm gonna eat that next' as he's fighting against it! But inevitably, neither of them can stop it. The cycle continues.

As long as Romeo is greedy, and as long as Taiga is gluttonous, they will never be able to fully reconcile, no matter how much they both want it. Both of them have to change, but I want to point out that at this moment Romeo is the bigger active obstacle between the two of them. Romeo can't let things go, he holds onto everything and lets it build until it explodes in one way or another. Tiris, his stigma, is symbolic in that sense, that he has to learn to let things go, because if he lets it build too much it will explode spectacularly.

(All of the ghouls have this sort of symbolism with their stigma, so it's not just a Romeo thing, but it's definitely important to his character.)

But Romeo can't get over it yet. He can't get over his greed, he can't let go of things he can't achieve (like getting Kaito's necklace), he can't get over past betrayals (Taiga, what happened with his family, etc)... He's too stuck and stubborn, and his refusal to budge has therefore lead to Taiga's refusal to push. Taiga has stopped caring about getting on good terms because he knows it won't turn out well. He's given up and become cynical, which in turn means that IF Romeo were to change, Taiga... still probably wouldn't. They're cyclical again. Always, always missing each other. So close and yet so far.

I hope the MC can be the catalyst for this cycle to end. Or Ritsu, who is a good equalizer to the two of them. But until she learns to see her own worth in the Academy, and until Ritsu accepts that sometimes he's wrong / he doesn't always know the most out of everyone in the room, I'm afraid Romeo and Taiga will remain stuck in this loop forever...

#tdb #all of this makes perfect sense to me tbh #except leading up to it(with the exception of the mask and the like dove) taiga doesn't seem unhappy with that he eats anomalies #he seems pretty enthused about it sometimes even.#afterwards he does act weird or he's in a bad mood(like dove and campus chat anomaly the latter of which he said wasn't enough food #which may explain the bad mood he was still hungry) but the notion of eating anomalies itself doesn't seem to bother him atm #but rhat could be acceptance #but like. aside from that he doesn't seem to mind eating anomalies except sometimes when he's actually done it #all of this seems totally possible to me #especially in terms of how taiga and romeo compliment(or contradict?) each other #this is really great analysis! and tthank you for pointing out what taiga says before eating the mask because my listening comprehension #isn't great haha. the folder name for the mask eating scene is 'taiga gives in' which suggests he was restraining himself #i figured it was for a while because. he didn't eat any anomalies the whole mission #and in the b's log interview he says he gets hungry as soon as he starts on a mission #but also he surely knew romeo wanted the anomaly the whole time? i mean they were there to investigate and possibly retrieve it?#but maybe that means he'd been restraining himself the whole time because of that. and romeo being so happy to have it in the end #magnified that hunger. he complains a lot about being hungry after all.#i dunno. but romeo's recognition of that hunger feels so. . . . .he let him take it. he could have moved away or something.#but he just let him eat it. but maybe that's because of how much romeo cares. taiga wanting to eat things he loves and wants sucks #but seeing his friend suffering from that hunger very well may suck more.#that or he was just. shocked he was still doing it.#eating precious things like that.#idk. i'm not. very in order.#i've been nauseous for like the past 30 minutes and i have to sit around at work being nauseous so. not very articulate.#but. yuri and rexii will probably enjoy these!!#they like smart people stuff and theories. and taiga rexii likes taiga i knoe that #THANK YOU FOR THE FOOD

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zph · 3 months ago

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mixed with love and sweet vanilla. | scaramouche x gn!reader

in which scaramouche tries out a new chapstick, and he wants you to test it out. kissing ensues.

notes: lots of kissing, short&sweet (literally), established relationship, very indulgent, fluff

tag: @kabupilled

based on this post | masterlist

“Could this-?” Scaramouche grumbles, his face trapped between your palms. “Could you have waited for me to actually sit down before you started being weird?”

A swift kiss to his nose cuts him off. “Do you want me to stop?” You already know the answer but you patiently wait for his response.

He narrows his eyes at you, blinks then suddenly pulls you down with him, and onto the couch where the plush pillows soften your fall. He snickers at the yelp that escapes your lips.

Down below, you were at a full view of his sly grin and that shiny tint that decorates his lips. You followed the way his mouth moved, the warm red faintly shining just enough to spark your curiosity. “I said wait. Not stop.” He snickered.

You merely rolled your eyes, then tugged him closer to where you sat, until his legs wrapped around your hips, and your hands locked behind his back.

From here, a quick smell of a sweet fragrance wafts into your nose, the scent only compelling you for another kiss. You look up, expecting him to find amusement in how you hover over his face; but instead, he greets you with an expectant look, eyebrow furrowed with a note of impatience.

So, this was his plan all along.

And so, with one gaze and one tilt of his head, you drive in to gingerly press your lips against his, gentle and slow, just to bask in the feeling and taste.

Is that…

Moving away, you immediately went to gauge the flavor on your tongue. Vanilla. His lips were sweet like vanilla. “…Is this one new? I swear you never wore it before.”

You feel how he rubbed his thumb up and down the column of your neck before he angled his head so his lips drew nearer and nearer until…

“Ha, you are imagining things.” He whispers.

But this time, Scaramouche closes the distance, no longer tolerating the separation. “Just too obsessed.” He says, but you feel the corner of his lips rise as the rumble from your chest lets out fits of laughter in response.

Did he really wear this just so you could have an excuse to kiss him?

“Do you have more of that chapstick?” your voice comes out breathless, and his hand begins to trace from your nape to jawline.

Then he taps once. Yes.

“Is it in your bag?”

…Another tap, more hesitant this time. Yes.

So, you pull away, ignoring the whine that escapes his lips, and poke around his bag for the stick.

One beat, then two until your hand finally lands on the item; the smooth contours of the stick feel familiar in your palm and you quickly discard the top with a squeeze.

Then when your gaze finally shifts back to him, you find him regarding you with a deepening frown and hard stare, as if you personally offended him somehow.

“Are you done?” he says flatly, tugging at the fabric of your shirt.

With a chuckle, you beckon him closer by the waist—the latter which begrudgingly complied—and rested your hand on his shoulder, angling the chapstick to his lower lip and shutting him up with a soft grip on his jaw.

Sweet is the word you’d describe when you notice how he subtly melts in your arms: the slight blush on his cheeks —not too visible but just enough where it paints on his skin with a fine coating, and the glint in his eyes as he roams around your face, mouth agape and peering up through his long lashes.

And the worst part? He just watches.

He watches as you move about, deliberately slowing down to spread the formula evenly. The way his hand now found home on your back, his fingers ghosting up and down your spine. Or the way his throat bobs when you adjust your position, stealing glances down at your lips each time you lean back.

Sweet is the taste when you couldn’t help but sneak another kiss as you watch the flutter of his eyelashes shut close without hesitation. The proximity between your faces and the way he follows your mouth even after you pull away: a sugary indulgence.

In contrast to the bitter palate he normally prefers, it was here in this moment where the sweetness rang out into soft giggles and slow touches— into love as sweet as his lips.

One tap. And your finger gently smudges the creamy red tint on his lower lip, matching the one that paints his eyes.

Another tap and he is once again pressing your bodies closer until his smile is rightfully back on yours, both sharing the taste mixed with love and sweet vanilla.

#scaramouche x reader #scaramouche x you #wanderer x reader #wanderer x you #scaramouche x reader fluff #genshin x reader #genshin x you #scaramouche fluff #scaramouche #guys i think im going a bitcrazy thinking abt him #lethal to my wellbeing

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ecoterrorist-katara · 6 months ago

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The tragedy of Katara’s parentification

Sokka and Katara were both parentified, and it’s a profoundly life-changing thing for both of them. One of the saddest things in ATLA, though, is how Sokka sort of got to outgrow parentification, but Katara never did.

Sokka’s told to be the man. The provider, the protector. He’s not so good at the former (his hunting failures are a consistent source of comic relief), and he takes failures of the latter very, very hard. He doesn’t manage to save Yue, and that wrecks him. After Yue, he becomes extremely protective of Suki in a way that’s borderline offensive to her. He’s willing to do anything to protect his friends and his family, including something as irresponsible as breaking into the Boiling Rock. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Sokka is the only one of the Gaang who unambiguously kills. The rest of them may technically have clean hands because of cartoon logic, but Combustion Man is very dead, and Sokka is the one who killed him. We don’t know how he feels about it, because the show never goes there, but I have a pet theory that Sokka is so uncharacteristically (remember he was team “leave Zuko to freeze to death”) against Katara confronting Yon Rha in The Southern Raiders because he’s the only who knows what killing feels like and wants to protect Katara from it.

But by the end of the show, Sokka’s in a place where he can start to let go of his need to protect. Objectively, all his friends are unbelievably powerful and can take care of themselves, including his sister and his girlfriend. Suki is the one who saves him in the final battle, representing not only a reversal of his initial cartoonish misogyny, but also demonstrating that he is worthy of protection. And of course, he and his friends saved the world, so there isn’t really an enemy that he has to protect them from anymore. Sokka’s loved ones create the conditions under which his parentified behaviour is no longer necessary. Sokka would still have to take the first step to stop seeing himself as the one who has to lay his life on the line, but at least it’s possible for him.

But not Katara.

Katara had to take on the mom role after their mother was murdered, which meant she was responsible for domestic labour and emotional support. Sokka says in The Runaway that her role was to keep the family together. Unlike protection, that’s always a full time job regardless of the war. We see Katara spending more screen time than anybody cooking, getting food, mending, and generally doing women’s work. We see Katara giving everyone emotional support, including strangers and her enemy. We see Katara putting aside her own discomfort and her own hurt in The Desert because if she falls apart, they all die. Nobody ever showed her that she doesn’t need to be the only one who cooks, or that somebody else can be responsible for the emotional wellbeing of her friends, or that — god forbid — someone else can actually be responsible for her emotional wellbeing.

That’s why I never cared for the Ka/taang argument of “he teaches her to be a kid again!” Putting aside the fact that Katara ends up taking care of Aang a lot more as the series goes on, the whole tragedy of parentification is that you can never again be a child. That part of your childhood, your god-given right, is robbed from you. It is extremely precious and important to still be able to be a kid, but breaking free of parentification is not about seeing yourself as a kid. It’s about breaking free of being responsible for everyone’s feelings and behaviours.

For Katara, that responsibility is not problem of perception, but of reality. Unlike Sokka, who was told and shown that his loved ones are capable of protecting themselves, Katara has zero reason to believe that her loved ones are able to feed and clothe themselves and not fall apart emotionally. Between Toph and Sokka who emphatically don’t want to do this work, it all falls on Katara. Telling a parentified child that they just need to loosen up is akin to telling an overworked mother that she needs to just relax (“happy Mother’s Day! You get a break from chores, which you will catch up on tomorrow because nobody else is doing them”). It doesn’t accomplish anything if nobody creates the circumstances under which it’s possible to let go of responsibilities. A lot of Zutara fans, spanning all the way back to the early days of the fandom, like the “Momtara and Dadko” trope where Zuko also does chores. Why? Because even without the concept and language of parentification, many fans recognized that Katara’s performance of domestic and emotional labour is inequitable and probably very taxing.

Growing out of parentification is about more than just letting go of old expectations: it’s also about finding a new way to value yourself beyond the role you grew up with. I’ve said this before, but it’s very important to acknowledge that just because a kid is parentified doesn’t mean they’re actually good at being a parent. In fact, it’s probably a given that they’re not, because they’re kids performing roles that are developmentally inappropriate! Sokka remains a shit hunter; he becomes a decent fighter but he’s still miles behind his friends. A big part of healing from his parentification is finding another area — strategy, engineering, project management (what else do you call that schedule) — where he actually excels, to which he can dedicate his time and from which he can derive satisfaction and a sense of identity. For Katara, fighting for the oppressed and combat waterbending give her that. Crucially, however, Katara does not stop being a girl when she becomes a warrior. She’s still responsible for domestic and emotional labour. Unlike Sokka, whose protector duties were more or less relieved as the series went on and he found new ways to contribute to the group, Katara continued to perform her old role in addition to her new one (which is depressingly realistic btw, look up feminist theory around the concept of the second shift). Still, it’s important that she found these new ways to value herself and her contributions…

…which disappear in her adult life. Where’s adult Katara fighting for the oppressed? Where’s adult Katara enjoying her status as a master waterbender? Where’s Mighty Katara? Where’s the Painted Lady? Where’s the person who vanquished a whole Fire Lord?

What do we know about adult Katara? She’s no longer a rabblerouser or an ecoterrorist. She did not translate her desire to help the downtrodden into a political role, like being Chief or on the United Republic Council. She’s not known as the best waterbender in the world, only the best healer, even though her combat abilities are what she took the most pride in. Even as a healer, she established no hospitals, trained no widespread acolytes (except Korra, I guess?), and made no known contributions to the field.

What Katara is known for…is being a wife and a mother. The same role she was forced to take on at age 8. One which she performed for the next 80+ years.

#Self-proclaimed feminists who don’t see Katara’s trajectory as a tragedy…I want to know what you’re on because I’d like to use it to cope #Katara deserved better #anti kataang #as always my anti kataang posts are more #anti Bryke #very mild #zutara #pro Katara #pro Sokka #water sibs #They just give me so many feels #my meta #Katara parentification discourse

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with-my-calamitous-love · 4 months ago

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BUTIMGONNAGETYOUBACK

bakugou katsuki x reader

you remember all the times he tried to mend your broken heart

part 2!

a/n: ty i didn’t expect all the love on the first one 🤍

5) acceptance

acceptance was bakugou realizing just how badly he fucked up.

he hated you, albeit only a little. hated you for making his heart ache the way it did. when you’re young and you feel love you never know how it will end. he thought that you either love someone to marry them, or to break their heart- and when he shut the door on you, he just figured you were the latter.

oh, how wrong he was.

if it was so easy, why did he have to physically restrain himself from calling you that night? why was his mind plagued with thoughts of you hurting? hurting because of him? you gave your heart to him and he tore it to pieces. and it made him want to vomit.

some nights he missed you, and wanted you back. other times he hated you, because he hated himself, and still wanted you back.

so bakugou did what he does best. he blew the 5 stages of grief to kingdom come, and started a new list.

1) accept you fucked up

katsuki bakugou, being katsuki bakugou (aka a stubborn piece of a shit) wanted to believe that he made the right choice. that he once again came out on top, that he was doing the best because he is the best- accept in this case, being the best caused him to lose you.

you were maybe the only person who didn’t just tolerate his stubbornness, his snark or his ego, but loved him more for it. you took every horrible thing about him and decided to love him anyway. what a soul to do that.

and he tried to rationalize that you maybe wouldn’t be the only person he’d meet that accept him for all his flaws and shortcomings, but he didn’t want to risk that. he knew what he wanted and he had it. and bakugou katsuki was not going to let it go so easily.

2) accept you might not be good enough

“might” is a nice word. no. even though he was the greatest, an amazing hero, a stop student and a phenomenal hero, katsuki bakugou didn’t deserve you. someone who wiped the sweat off his forehead after a workout, who reminded him to eat in the morning and drink his water because he can’t train on an empty stomach, who reminds him that its okay to make mistakes because you didn’t fall in love with a perfect hero, you fell in love with him.

and if he’s real, he thinks he deserves less. because someone as good as you shouldn’t be with an asshole like him. but he doesn’t care, and he hopes you don’t really either. he loves you more than he hates himself.

3) know the price going in

your friends called him a dick. your brothers offered to slash his tires or even key his car. your blocked him on everything, threw everything he ever bought for you in the back of your closet, cut up all the photos and cursed out his very existence. heartbreak is only a precursor to anger, and he knew you were probably full of it by know. you learned from the best- you learned from him, after all.

so he knew he had a lot coming his way. reminders of his fuck ups, of his shortcomings. of all the times he made your pretty face cry. so he took all of that hatred and ate it, because he knew most of it (maybe all of it, but he thinks his car is innocent) was deserved. hell, he was angry too. but anger and love aren’t enemies, but rather sisters. some people are worth screaming and fighting with at 2 in the morning. you only cursed his name because you remembered every syllable of it etched into your heart.

4) know when someone still wants you

maybe he was delusional. maybe in his brokenhearted haze his brain simply made it all up in an attempt to heal what was hurting. but he could have sworn he heard you ask about him when talking with your old friends. maybe you wanted to hear about his misery and bask in it. fair. but maybe, just maybe, you actually cared about how he was doing.

and he knows you still have his hoodies, even if they’re curled up underneath your bed. he knows your still wearing his cologne because he recognizes a smell he loves whenever he’s lucky enough for you to walk by him. he knows you still reread your texts, because he’s told you things he would never even dare to utter to anyone else- words just for you. and he knows you still go to all your old date spots, because you forgot to turn off your location. you only shared it with him, anyway.

he knows your missing him, or at least thinking about him. and its maybe the only thing keeping him functioning.

5) fix your face

bakugou, a pillar of self care and health, doesn’t remember the last time he’s showered. he hasn’t eaten a full meal in a couple of days because you haven’t reminded him to. he hasn’t slept since sunday because he hasn’t called you goodnight, and you don’t know that he can’t sleep without it. he looks like shit.

so one day, a day he knows theres a small chance he might see you with your friends during training, he forces his ass out of bed and washes his face. he pats his face dry with a towel instead of rubbing, because you taught him that it lessens his acne. he uses the $21 moisturizer you left in his washroom cabinet simply because its yours, and it makes his skin soft. he wears the perfume you left behind too, because you still have his cologne and this shitty bottle or strawberry pound cake is all he has.

he looks okay. he thinks. but he’s unaware that you still think he’s as gorgeous as the first day you met him.

6) pray that you don’t care what he’s done

he’s an asshole. he has an explosive temper and most people are scared of him. he’s insensitive, he’s a jerk who doesn’t give a single damn about who’s feelings he hurts. he’s gonna be the best, and any extra’s who get in the way are nothing but dead weight. thats what he thought for the longest time, until meeting you.

so he’ll hope that you don’t care how much of a dick he really is. he knows that you love him anyway, but he has to keep praying that that’ll stay the same, even after breaking your heart. he hopes that you’ll forgive him, even if he gets on his knees to do if. you rob him of his pride, of his ego, and he loves you for it. you’re the only person that can make him weak.

and if you’re any real, understandable person who doesn’t forgive him, thats only an excuse to keep getting better. because if theres one thing katsuki bakugou is good at, its proving that he’s the best (even when he’s not.) and he swears to himself that he’ll keep making himself better until he can say that he deserves you.

7) love you till the end

he wants more than just late night phone calls and sharing playlists. he wants to succeed alongside you, share all his greatest accomplishments with you and know that you’re the greatest of them all. he wants to teach you how forever feels, to love you for as long as his lungs breath and his heart beats. being the number one hero was 2nd to being with you- and katsuki bakugou never takes 2nd places. never.

he accepts that his heart is fully, utterly, embarrassingly yours. he knows you have every right to wanna smash it up, eat it and spit it out for all he’s done to you. but he’d rather his heart and love he in your hands than anyone elses. you’re the best thing that was ever his. and even when he broke things off, when he told you he had to choose his career, he knew deep down that he was never not yours.

8) push the rest button, become something new

he was determined to stay this time, even if it meant being handcuffed to you.

1 in the morning. your place. why did you let him in? you weren’t sure. but the banging on the door suggested he wasn’t going away any time soon. you two sat on your bedroom floor, both enjoying and hating each others presence. it was the first time you had seen him in months. and of course he still looked gorgeous. you smelled your perfume as soon as he walked in through the front door.

“…you gonna tell me why you’re here, kats?” you finally broke the silence. your voice cut through the weight on the room like a knife. you did your best to hide the hurt in your voice just from seeing him. your heart ached.

“its stupid.” he mutters, shoving his hands into his sweater. he deliberately faced away front you, because he wasn’t sure if the vulnerability in his eyes would make you hate him more or love him less. maybe both.

“everything you say is stupid.” you half-heartedly chuckle, and he has it in him to scoff quietly, not disagreeing with you. the sound of pouring rain outside growing quieter as you finally got to talk to him. his voice was still your favourite melody, even when it said stupid, stubborn things.

“..just needed to see you.” he finally dares to utter, crimson red eyes looking at you with his brows furrowed. when it came to you, nothing was ever a ‘want.’ no, when it was you, it was all essential to him.

you silently cursed yourself, before getting up and softly crawling towards him next to your bed. your body finds its rightful place next to his, leaning up against him. it had been so long since you felt that warmth. he looks down at you first, not in reluctance but in genuine surprise, before finding his bearings and wrapping his arm around you tight. he was scared that if we were to fully hug you he’d end up never letting you- not that you minded, though.

“asshole.” you quo, wanting to humble him. you were still angry, despite desperately needing to cuddle with him. he simply nods, knowing you’re right. “i missed you.”

both of those statements are true.

“…i’m sorry.” his gruff voice softens, holding you tight. he finally gets to hold you again. if this is his time to say his piece, than he’ll say it with his whole chest. he never half-asses things. “i’m sorry for ever thinking it was okay to let you go.”

his voice cracked at the end there. you couldn’t see him, nor did you want to because you knew it would break your heart, but he was crying.

“…you’re such an idiot kats.” your voice cracks too, pulling him to you even tighter. “i thought you regretted it. r-regretted me or some shit.”

he shakes his head, stroking your hair. “no, i didn’t. idiot, i could never regret you.” he grits his teeth as he does nothing to stop the flow of tears. he deserves to feel the way they sting against his cheeks.

“i’m sorry, [y/n] i’m so fucking sorry. i wanted to have you back but i know how stupid that is now. maybe i’ll just grab my hoodies. or keep them, burn them up for all i care-‘’

he says before finally making eye contact with you. you’re crying and so is he. but god, looking into your eyes felt like he had his own personal universe right in front of him.

“…i wouldn’t burn your sweaters. cut them up, maybe.” you giggle, using your sleeve to wipe away the pain on your face. “but they’re mostly just all on my bed.”

his red eyes flicker up, realizing that you are indeed right. the fabrics he’s so familiar with, you’ve been spending every night with. that makes him more happy than he wants to admit.

theres a beat of silence between the two of you. katsuki feels his heart breaking in the tension. he’s mentally preparing himself to walk out your front door once again, but this time unwillingly.

“…i’m still mad at you.” you whisper shakily. he just nods, almost standing up in defeat.

“but i still want you to stay, asshole.” you utter.

the both of you sigh in relief.

he silently picks you up and pulls you into bed, not caring if all his hoodies fell to the floor, because now you had the real thing. he was so warm, like the sun shining through the clouds just after a hailstorm. he holds onto you like you’d suddenly be ripped away from him, smelling his cologne on your hair. he lets you trace tiny hearts onto his chest, that you maybe haven’t forgiven him, but still need him around. maybe thats enough for him.

and so katsuki bakugou was proved right once again. that he got you back- and he was never gonna let you go again.

tags!

@eyesforbkg @m-0ona @aise-30 @whenanafallsinlove @rnyadlcn @iwannahaveaprettyaesthetic @vikizzy @im-in-too-much-fandom-help @gina239 @randomrosie01 @heartsform33 @yourmajestyqueena @getou0309 @urlocalgayblueberry @brbwritingfanfic @sky2lar @alligator-person @bkgtskisblog @juststayyoasshome @leonesimp @tanjirofan63 @gabby-ha

some of @s weren’t working im so sorry 😭 i’ll just dm you!

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