#loud sneeze

[bigsnzstanacct]

Thinking about Dad Sneeze Dads and their individual sneeze styles. Like as I said, James/Jamie has this incredibly vocal, stentorian shout of a sneeze, an orator’s sneeze, a “YYAAAHHH-HHHOOOOOOOO!!” (And like, I don’t know how to spell this but imagine it ends on a big round open “oh” not an “oo” okay?). And also he always, always sneezes at least twice and each subsequent sneeze is always, always bigger than the previous. So if the first is especially loud and deafening, you better really batten down the hatches for the second, and pray he doesn’t feel the urge for a third. (I also imagine that as he gets older, those third and fourth thunderous sneezes come more often). Sure, you get a warning about sneeze number two, unlike number one, but the second is so much louder than it jump scares people even when they’ve been bracing for it. Also I imagine that his normal sneeze is very neatly separated into two parts, but his biggest sneezes are just one single syllable, possibly shorter, just blast like “HAAHHHuuhhh!!” Maybe with a little trailing fall. Those hurt his throat and he always doubles over for them. Probably straightens up with a “God damn!” And maybe like “scuse me if I deafened you… and if I did blame Paul, he’s the one that infected me with his allergies! I swear, I didn’t sneeze like this til I met him!” “Oh, but your dad sneezed like that since I met him so I’m pretty sure those genes were coming out one way or another, and also for the millionth times you cannot catch allerg—“ “HEYYY-SSHHUUHH!! Whew… damn… that one took the wind out of me… anyway… what were you saying Paul?”

And then, for Paul, I was trying to figure out how he sneezes, because like… they can’t be as like… declarative as James’ but they also have to be just as thunderous and then I realized… he sneezes like… you know that guy sneezeguy (now I think KB) on t*kt*k?? He sneezes like that. Like… “HRRRRRUUUHHH!! HEEERRRRUUUssshhh!!! HRRRRSSSSHH!!” Like so growled and roared at the same time. And he has these fits and false starts, so it torments him for a while and he’s trying to find a light to look into and sometimes the only thing that will get his nose to finally let go of the big blast is to go outside and look into the morning sun, and then his whole face somehow crumples and arches simultaneously and—“ERRRSSCCHHH!!! RRRRRRREESSSCCHHH!!!” He’s off to the races. Sometimes there’s buildup between the sneezes but usually they come four or five or six in a row, and maybe a shorter second or third round. And he’s also one that can actually be around something he’s allergic to for a while without sneezing his head off… but the bill always comes due. And if he’s been around a dog a lot, and playing with the dog and rolling around with the dog (of course he adores dogs, the bigger and floofier and fluffier the better, allergies be damned) James almost hopes he starts sneezing early. Because the longer the sneezes wait, the more intense they are when they finally strike. And then he can fire off sneezes into the double digits without a break, just “GASP! ERRRRUUSSCHHHH!! HUUHHH— RRRRUUUSCCCHHHOOO!!! HEEHHH— ARRRRRSSSSCCHHUUHHH!!! HUUH! HEEEEIIISSHHH!!!” Just that classic pattern of one great big gulp of air and a big sneeze, and another gulp of air, and another sneeze.

[deeisace]

oh, sneezing

everything else going on, and now i'm ill

i've been asleep most of today cs i feel very bleh

but there is a flat i applied to, email said they're going to ring me, and it's literally round the corner so that'd be good if i get it

my brain is made of felt today tho honestly

oh i did get an enail from the gic, i've signed a thing so they'll sent it to my gp so hrt soon? yes?

[zvmz]

Why did EAH characters get arrested?

[fexjam]

НАМАЛЮЙ ЧХАЄ МЕДИКА!! щоб його життя малиною не здавалася >:)) (яка я добра...🥰)

Туди його!

Хедканоню шо Медик пиздець як голосно чхає

Дякую за реквест!

[nullio]

Geralt accidentally developing Dad Humor, even when he wasn't actively invested in or looking for Ciri- it just happens by rule of the universe

like this,

Jaskier falls from a tree, off a small ledge, down a short hill

Jask: Geraaaalt, I've hurt my leg!

Geralt: sigh, fine. Let me look

...hmm...

Geralt: we'll have to amputate

Jaskier: GERALT

-one more-

Jaskier: EUGH- Geralt! There's a nasty bug on my pillow

Geralt: let me see...ah, it's a brain sucker

Jask: brain sucker?!

Geralt: yes, don't worry

*he flips over and lies down again*

Geralt: it starved

please please please, Geralt dad humor

[cokowiii]

They are relentless heheh

these are too fkn fun to do

first part

[th3e-m4ng0]

im sick so im thinking about sick m3gatron, with her fans clicking and going skreeee like a badly oiled machine and her vents fully opened but Doing all this weird loud noises, like the noise a laptop makes when u render a heavy scene in cycles, and she's running Warmer than usual. like if u get close u can feel the warm air from. Her vents , she's also sluggish and ignoring every symptom like a champ 🙏

[snzluv3r]

also something so insanely embarrassing i need to share with you guys: i was having a very desperate, not so quiet sneezing fit the other day and recording it and somebody OUTSIDE who was walking by yelled ‘bless you’ and it picked up in the recording so yeah needless to say i stopped recording very shortly after that

[bigsnzstanacct]

Some Ch/eck Pl/ease that nobody asked for but I’m sorry I’m obsessed. (There is also some Ch/eck Pl/ease in my inbox that somebody DID ask for and I am very excited to dig into that as soon as I can…)

To be clear about characters nicknames: Derek “Nursey” Nurse and William “Dex” Poindexter both have the kink and have gone on a sneeze-fueled enemies to lovers speedrun. Lazy and un-proofread, but lots of sneeze talk (and one stifled sneeze). Maybe will do part two with The Big Sneezes eventually, after I do more actual asks lol:

“So, like…” he said, before collapsing unceremoniously across his boyfriend’s lap, beaming up at him like he wanted something.

“No, no, Nurse, before you go any further, there’s a program that still won’t compile on that laptop over there and I’m just taking a break—“

“Uggghhhhh… all compiling and no fun makes Dexy a dull boy and I’m bored.”

The way Nursey said bored, as though fun was a thing Dex had some obligation to dispense like Pez, as though he was Derek Nurse’s favorite toy… was exactly the sort of thing that would have gotten him red-faced furious and started a yelling match back in the day, before they got together, before they found out about their shared interest (or obsession or adoration or endless mutual infatuation). But now… well, it got his face red and the tips of his ears pink and his whole body involved for totally different reasons.

“You’re bored?” Dex said, feigning neutrality, badly.

Nurse nodded, still beaming, eyelids lowering imperceptibly. (Except to Dex, nothing Derek did was imperceptible to Dex.) “I’m bored.”

“Well when you put it like that…”

“So what I was going to ask you before I got so rudely interrupted by Homework Dex was like, um…” Derek bit his lip. Derek getting nervous? Oh shit, that means this had to be about…

“How big do they get?” Nurse asked, the way the words rushed out betraying his nerves.

“You mean, my…”

Nurse nodded.

“I mean… really big.” The way Nursey’s pupils dilated, the way his chest rose and fell, made it quite obvious to Dex that he should in fact keep going. “Like… well you know I always had the allergies, right? And when you’re sneezing every fifteen seconds it’s like… you just wanna do it hard enough to stop. And so like, you know, I started sneezing a little harder so I could get the urge to stop. And then a little harder. And then harder so like… yeah I guess that’s where I got like… the force behind it? Like it was an arms race with my allergies…”

“And the allergies won mmff…” Nursey stifled a moan, already so ridiculously blissed out.

“And the allergies won. Although at least now, I mean… if I go full out I can get the itch to go for like… a while. That was the issue dude, it was just like… my nose got so fucking itchy and I tried blowing it and I tried like… rubbing it and shit but nothing actually got the itch to go away except, you know…”

“Sneezing. Really fucking hard.”

“And loud, don’t forget loud.”

“Mmmm… don’t worry I neeeeever forget how loud, I’m always thinking about how loud…”

“So yeah, I just like… had to start sneezing really hard just so I didn’t spend my whole day sneezing. Of course, that backfired after…”

“After they got so loud they rattle rafters everywhere you go?”

“Yeah, after they got really embarrassing. But I didn’t even tell you the worst part.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah it was… when I started diving? You know, it’s kind of a Maine thing?”

“Everything with you is a Maine thing, even the sneezes!”

“Damn straight.” Dex chuckled. He almost wondered how he had gotten so damn comfortable discussing his biggest embarrassment and shame in life, the thing he never, ever wanted to discuss with anybody. But of course he knew the answers: first, that Derek Nurse was somehow the easiest person to talk to Dex had ever encountered in all his years on planet earth, and second, any time Dex talked about his nose, or his allergies, or his sneezes… Nurse started looking like that. Eyes half-lidded, like the cat who got the cream and was gonna get some more, satisfied and hungry, delighted and a little bit dangerous. For that look… Dex would walk through fire. Even his anxiety was no match for that look.

“Okay so you know, like diving for lobster is kind of a thing people do for fun, right? But like… it’s a thing in my family—“

“Boooooo!” Nurse said, as he did every time Dex’s family came up.

“Shush, Nurse, you’re gonna be thanking them for this one.”

“Still booo, sorry babe.”

“Well, booo in general but for you—“ and you alone, in all the world he didn’t say, “for you this is a winner. Obviously if you actually work a lobster boat you’re not generally diving as a primary way of catching fish, but for some reason it’s family tradition you have to dive for your first lobster. It’s dumb—I mean sorry, it’s silly—“

“For once, I wouldn’t have stopped you babe.”

“I know, I did it myself.”

“God that’s almost as hot as your sneezes. But not quite. Back to the sneezes now Dex.”

“Yes sir.” A heated look passed between them at that but Dex forged ahead: “so yeah, like, I started diving and I got, like, really good at it. I loved going diving. I’d just do it for fun, and then you know, they wanted me to help check the traps if somebody needed to check them real quick and it was fun for me, but what I didn’t realize was…”

“Lung capacity?”

“Bingo. My lungs are actually, like, crazy strong. It’s a weird trait but yeah it’s true, I did a diving competition and I’ve been, like, measured.”

“Measured??” Nurse cut in incredulously, “Dexy-poo I’ve heard it, I don’t need no stinkin’ measurements.”

“So uh, yeah, between the allergies and the diving like… I dunno I can take in a crazy—fuck—ridiculous—amount of air, and with all the allergy stuff it’s like… either I take in as much as I can and, you know, blow out as much as I can or I sti… stifle… speaking of which…”

“It’s so hot that talking about sneezes makes you sneeze, I just want you to know that.” Nursey murmured, tracing idle circles with his finger around Dex’s chest, which was currently inflating to its considerable capacity, before….

‘HHHHUUUUUUHHHHHH-*snnnnxxxx*-chewwwwww, oh… man that still hurts.”

“I bet. Can’t believe you do it all the time. You know nobody’s gonna, like, kill you for sneezing a little loud—or, like a lot loud, I guess I can’t lie. Aaaaaaaaanyway, if there’s still a tickle in your nose, you know we could ummmm… do what I was really curious about…”

“You let me tell that whole embarrassing ass story and that wasn’t even what you w-wanted??” It was mock anger, though the lingering itch in Dex’s nose was very real.

“Oh it was hot as fuck and you know it. But no, what I really wanted was, um… to see it. Like… full out. Cause you know you said that like, it’s way bigger in person and when you really have to sneeze and like, I know the pollen count isn’t as high as it was but it’s still kinda up there—“

“D-don’t rehhh… remind me…”

“And like that air purifier is running like crazy in here, so I bet if you went outside…”

“I’d blow your eardrums out?”

“God, I hope so.”

“Well, you’re in luck cause it’s still i-itchy and really don’t want to have to stihhhh… stifle again and…”

Nursey was up in a flash. “Okay cool, give me two seconds to put real clothes on and to like not be so embarrassingly erect”

And Dex looked down and, well, he wouldn’t call that embarrassing. Impressive more came to mind, perhaps mouth-watering if he was totally honest.

“Just huhhh-huuhhh… hurry. It really t-tickles…”

[gigamuffinsofie]

ive been re reading the ionian mission. jack getting a cold endears me

[snz-thoughts]

GOT MY BLORBOS TOGETHER‼️

So, Snehan being half-human half-vampire has a ton of allergies that affects them throughout the day and their partner, Squalo finds their sneezes (and al the mess) so attractive one day... unique as much 'cause he's a Shark, they don't sneeze neither (barely) get sick and such. The frequency of Snehan's sneezes started to sound like music to Squalo's big ears eventually so yeah, he's one of us snzfvkers fellas!

thanks a LOT again again and again to @roguesnezblog for making this commission (and one of my fav scenarios w them too) come to life!!! Support her in any way you can too ♡

[kitnightowl]

Do you think chilchuck has a dad sneeze? Like the one where you are just minding your business at home, and all of a sudden your dad sneeze and it scares the shit out of you.

[intenderstendencies]

ruts are so fucking insane. tell me why I folded a pair of pants THREE TIMES because what if my mate (don't have one) showed up in my room right now (why?) and looked through my drawers (why again.) and saw that my pants are folded badly (they were fine?) and decided that they wouldn't help me during my rut (because of that??..??) anyway stay tuned for more of this because that is. what I have

[midnightwriter21]

satoru gojo has an absolutely atrocious dad sneeze.

send tweet.

[frogaroundandfindout]

Nightwing vol.2. #54

[sneezarify]

There’s something so frustratingly sexy about someone who feels the need to leave the room or move very far away to finish their sneezing fit.