#lots of rambling that i hope makes sense

[somnimagus]

My page for @sheikahzine; about Impaz's duty to her village, empty of people and full of memories.

[id in alt text]

[shopwitchvamp]

I mean this gently but I have to say somethin' here- I've been getting so much "make your skirts cheaper" "I love this but why are they soooo expensive" etc lately and like look, I know a lot of this is because times are hard.. (otherwise why would I be hearing this more & more this year when prices haven't changed compared to last year) but I just wanna say that one of the only ways I could lower prices (if I was ruthless and didn't care) would be to cut sizing options. Like idk how to word what I'm trying to say, but just know when you shout stuff like this at other brands & they decide they need to find a way to cut costs to lower prices, being size inclusive is gonna be one of the first things to go. I have no plans to do this myself, but for example, a D Size Skater costs me almost twice as much (talking about only the direct from the manu cost, there are other factors too such as that they weigh more so that adds more shipping costs as well) as an A Size Skater. Say I cut D Size altogether.. and many companies would have by now while also not even lowering the price.. I could increase my profit margins significantly right away. Now lets say I cut both C and D and become a shop that only offers the standard range of SM-XL. Wow! Suddenly profits are up so much!! Or maybe going not full corporate greed, I could handle lowering skater prices by like $10 (random number not based on real math idk what things would actually work out to because I'm not gonna do it). But now no one over a size XL can order from me. I fear none of what I'm trying to get across is getting across but I just mean to say, in order to offer what I offer, the prices need to be what they are. They aren't set arbitrarily high & lowering them would mean needing to make choices that I will not make (becoming less size inclusive or making my business unsustainable in the sense that it would not survive long).

[angelcasendgame]

This post by beloved @angelsdean is making me think a lot abt Dean + vulnerability, and how I'm reconsidering John's opinions on being openly emotional. And I used to think John would berate Dean for not being tough enough but these days, I think it comes from Dean not wanting to add to John's distress

This isn't to say John's never told Dean to put his emotions away, I'm sure he did at some point, esp with masculinity from the 80s to 2000s + the hunting community as a whole, but by in large, I don't think it's as cut and dry as John strictly telling Dean to "man up" or not show any emotions

In 1x09 Home, Dean calls John crying on the phone saying he's scared and he thinks the thing Mary killed is at the house, and I think if John outwardly berated Dean for being emotional, he would have rerecorded it to sound stoic/serious. I think what's more likely since John was so wrapped up in his own grief/distress, Dean's emotions were brushed past overtime and he stopped turning to John for for comfort/reassurance. And we see Dean and John both switch between father-son and drill sergeant-soldier mode, which doens't help

Growing up, Dean sees John struggling often with grief over losing Mary and the horrors of hunting, and not only has Dean comforted John about it, John has openly accepted the comfort!! And with Dean being forced to place himself between John and Sam constantly bickering, there wasn't enough space for him to show or priortize his own emotions so he simply remains as the Emotionally Supportive One while he (and John) neglect Dean's emotional needs

This isn't to say it's not neglect and abuse, it absolutely is!!! John never should have put Dean in this position where he's continuously comforting John because he doesn't have any adult friends to turn to for emotional support and makes his CHILD feel like he has to be the one to do it

And this is where Dean's facade comes from where he's reluctant to talk about his own stuff. When Dean says "no chick flick moments" in 1x01, it's because Sam is apologizing to Dean for how he spoke about Mary. And throughout the show, Dean shuts people down (mostly Sam lol, he does very easily open up to others) about wanting to talk about his own emotions but he doesn't express discomfort with listening, validating, and being there for others or making them feel uncomfortable for showing their own emotions, and that comes from years of experiences of supporting a super outwardly emotional John who isn't afraid to be vulnerable

[phoenixkaptain]

Can’t help but listen to Star Wars music and think about Star Wars and then I come to Realizations and it’s a whole mess BuT-

Leia is what Anakin could have been.

The face of rebellion. The one who killed Jabba the Hutt. Overwhelming passion and fury and love. Determination and passion made into positive difference. Terrifying in her anger and magnetic in her warmth. Especially the Anakin we see in the Clone Wars, Leia is the culmination of all he could have become. A leader fighting on the front lines, refusing to give in, loyal to the point of suicidal.

Luke is what Darth Vader could have been.

A being whose power was forged in Darkness, but who ultimately chooses the Light. A shadowy figure who appears where he’s least wanted when he’s least expected. Unreadable and all-consumingly powerful. Someone who slips into the role of the intimidator with ease, someone who is willing to be the second-in-command. Fighting in the background, unseen to most but the effects seen by all.

Leia kills Jabba with the chains he put her in. Anakin kills Sidious with the cage he trapped him in. Darth Vader chokes Tagge to make a point and to intimidate. Luke chokes the Gamorrean guards to make a point and intimidate.

Leia was Anakin’s possibilities, Luke was Darth Vader’s.

[screechingfromthevoid]

I think the same reason I love Dorym is why I love Loquatious and Laerryn. One, the devotion of it all. But secondly, and more importantly, "But there's one story of a fairy who stumbled into this world and fell in love"

Because Dorian is an air genasi prince who left home to find something real. His home floats on wind and he's never wanted for a thing. And he came down from his clouds only to find himself stumbling, tumbling, into love with just a man.

There is something so earnest about a man who is considered magical and wondrous in a world that already has magic, falling in love with someone who just is.

It's a thought that scratches the back of my mind a lot. It goes hand in hand with Liam saying "he has no idea if Dorian returns his feelings". Because from Orym's point of view why would Dorian have feelings for him? Dorian. The beautiful blue prince who is extremely talented in both music and magic. Dorian is everything Orym admires in other people. Everything he doesn't see in himself.

But Dorian does have feelings for Orym. Because Orym is everything he's not. He's firm and reliable. He knows who he is and is unapologetic about it. Orym was the only one in the (original) Crown Keepers that wasn't tempted by the spider queen. Because he was too principled. He was too good. Dorian's alignment changed. Dorian felt himself getting worse. Yet Orym stayed steadfast. In the face of everything he did not change.

Their pursuits were the same. They wanted to protect their friends. At any cost. But Orym somehow stayed unchanged. He always knew the right way of doing things.

So the handsome prince fell in love with a guard and planned to stay with him until he no longer wanted the company.

I literally said to a friend "I know he leaves. But he is so devoted to Orym I don't know how they're going to get him to."

And it was the one thing neither could argue against. Family. Orym knew about family. He knew about duty.

But even a continent away Dorian couldn't stop thinking about Orym. His little tactician before he was the savior blade. Even when his world came crashing down, Orym called and he went.

Idk. I think there's something beautiful in the way that Dorian loves Orym. I think it is very reminiscent of the fey who stumbled into this world and fell in love. I think it will be a love that will always be with them. That they will have to recover from. A love they might have to mourn before they ever have it.

Even if they never... If there is no love confession, if they have to mourn the loss of the people they thought they were, if there's no way for them to be together; Dorian will always love Orym. In the same way Orym loves Will. First love often lingers.

[panoffrying]

My Dr. Sozonius LORE Headcanons

✨Warning this is a bit long✨

Sozo is a character that has lived for a very long time. Whatever that mushroom was on their head not only influenced Sozo but kept them immortal. We know really nothing bout Sozos past so I made some headcanons for silly fun and for me to visualize who Sozo was and what his life may have looked like. I want to do my best to keep this as game accurate as possible, so there will be quotes from the game. The quotes are not at all in order! I kinda just bring up random Sozo quotes as I go. Also I apologize if this doesn't make sense or if I ramble (I get excited about certain topics) 

thank you so much @7moonbird for going over and editing this for me, Love ya Pookie!

And so we start:

Sozonius was born in the days of the old faith. He was present the day the Bishops declared the genocide of the lambs and he actually played a big part in assisting the lambs survival. However, he almost got caught and had to stop helping the lambs to keep his family safe. He's never seen any of the bishops(maybe) but his village was part of Darkwood and therefore under Bishop Leshy’s ruling.

VILLAGE 

Sozonius village was mostly a colony of Carpenter Ants, there were a few other species living there too but it was mostly Carpenter Ants. I imagine there are different races of ants depending on the region they’re in; so there could be fire ants, pharaoh ants, and more! Most ants get along nicely and work together but sometimes other races of ants can be more temperamental and cause conflict between colonies. Carpenter ants are a more calm type of ants, they aren't aggressive but they are incredibly strong. Carpenters ants are known to live in trees; they hollow out trees to make their homes and they like to stay off the ground as much as possible in case of floods and other dangers.

In the colony they had their ruler, the “Queen,” who looked over the village and did queenly business (not gonna go too deep into it). Everyone had many different jobs, ants are hard workers and very strong. They made marvelous structures, farmed a lot of crops, and knew how to work together when there was a threat. Sozo’s village was one that many others would try making deals/trades with. I would talk more about his village but that's not why y’all are here lol. 

Sozonius was a fellow damn near everyone in the village knew. He loved his work and he loved to talk about it to anyone that expressed that they wanted to listen. He was that guy that you could get stuck in a conversation with and struggle to end it. He liked to ramble about his work and kids. Other than that though he never really started conversations with others, he would keep to himself unless someone interacted with him.

And I could definitely see him having a science rival but nothing too bad lol.

FAMILY

“Where am I…? Where is… my family…?”  are the words Sozo says when he turns back into Dr. Sozonius. I like to think he had a wife and two children. They didn’t have the best marriage but they made it work out for their two sons. His wife was a bit stubborn and very honest. She would say things before thinking which did cause issues, but Sozonius let it slide because he loved her so much and wanted a happy family for his sons. 

Sozonius was a very funny dude. He made dad jokes all the damn time, his family would pretend to hate the jokes but in reality they did love them. 

Sozo Dialogue “Now all Sozo can think about is mushrooms, mushrooms, MUSHROOMS… They don’t leave mush-room for anything else! Ha!”

(Also, this next idea is inspired off of @kuphulwho headcanons for Sozo. I loved her ideas and I recommend y'all look at her headcanons too!) Aside from Sozonius being a mycologist he had a side hobby of art! He wasn't the best artist, but he was really talented with sketching plants/fungi, he liked to make art of anything that interested him. He most likely wrote an educational picture book about Fungi, there's probably an old copy of it somewhere.

This art hobby caught the interest of his two sons, and they also started to pursue art. Sozonius would take his free time teaching his sons how to draw plants and such. Sozonius would hang his kids' art everywhere in their house, it was like walking into an art museum haha.

JOB

Sozonius studied mycology which means he studied fungi. Sozonius knew fungi could benefit his society and he wanted to help educate others about the importance of fungi. Soon he learned enough of a new discovery of mushroom people, neither plant nor animal…Sozonius then made the decision to go on a solo mission to study the Mushroomo people.

THE MUSHROOMOS 

Dr. Sozonius Dialogue “My name is Dr. Sozonius. I was researching the Mushroomos that live in Spore Grotto… strange creatures, Neither animal nor plant…” 

Sozonius went to Spore Grotto and at first, he studied the Mushroomo people from a distance setting up a campsite near the Mushroomo Village. When the Mushroomo people discovered Sozonius they welcomed him into their home, cheerful happy little things. Sozonius was given the chance to learn more about these strange creatures up close! How could he say no? Sozonius was welcomed into Spore Grotto and was treated like a god. 

Sozonius asked the Mushroomos many questions, but getting any actual answers from them was difficult. The Mushroomos treated Sozonius like he was their most special guest, they danced and sang for Sozonius. They would mimic Sozonius and follow him around, making sure to do anything he asked of them. There would be many times when the Mushroomos would offer to feed Sozonius menticide mushrooms but Sozonius knew a lot about fungi and declined their offers. However, there seemed to be a special Ritual the Mushroomos took part in… 

Sozonius had been in Spore Grotto for many weeks now, it was time for him to leave, he had studied enough and was ready to return home but the Mushroomos were surprisingly sad when he announced this. They wanted to show Sozonius a sacred ritual to them before he left, he wasn't aware of the menticide mushrooms being part of it…

Dr. Sozonius Dialogue “They gave me Menticide Mushrooms, and then… that’s the last thing I remember…”

After Sozonius was tricked into eating menticide mushrooms and also gave Sozonius a crown, a crown that would grow into Sozoniuss mind, he shall be the Mushroomos leader… And the new Sozo was made. (literally just think of Ice Age 2 when the lil sloths take Sid to be their fire king, however they don't sacrifice him)

The mushroom on Sozos head is very powerful, it makes me wonder what it is exactly, it gives the person wearing it immortality, but also causes the user to go insane (don't forget that Sozo is also being fed menticide mushrooms) the mushroom crown kinda reminds me of Chemachs crown. It seems to have a mind of its own and a face. I feel like the Mushroomos for days straight made sure to give Sozo a diet of only menticide mushrooms to make him forget everything and to possibly power the mushroom crown. They would constantly tell Sozo that his mind would be open and free, that it would make him feel better, and Sozo being under the influence of the mushroom listened to them.

A Mushroomo Dialogue "Once you taste the Menticide Mushroom your mind will be opened." 

As the years went by so did all the sanity Sozonius had left, but in some moments Sozonius seems to still be aware but not all there. 

Sozo Dialogue “Sozo had friends... Followers... family... now Sozo has mushrooms..."

Sozo over time seems to start to dislike his followers and call them liars. He even becomes quite cruel to his followers. Yet he also mentions that he trusts the lamb and wants the lamb to protect him from his followers which makes me believe that Sozonius is somehow a little aware and fighting against the mushroom crown’s influence. He is mad at the Mushroomos for lying to him, tricking him, making him into who he is now.

 Sozo Dialogue  “No need to thanks Sozo. Build it at your Cult then come back to me. Sozo shall grant you one last gift. Sozo is always fair. Always repays this debts. Not like those LIARS out there."

"You did it! Now I know I can trust you... not like those nasty liars outside. They are always watching, always listening! Here take this. You are Sozo's best friend, you are Sozo's only friend."

"Sozo can trust you now, Sozo will pledge himself to you! You will protect me from those liars outside and bring Sozo mushrooms!"

(Also a side note that my gf brought to my attention last second lol! Apparently parasitic mushrooms rely on insects to spread. That is probably why they tricked Sozonius into staying and eating menticide mushrooms. Maybe it's been that long since they've seen an insect)

SOZOS IMPRISONMENT

So, this next little headcanon of mine is an interesting one and might be confusing to explain. Was Sozonius imprisoned within his own mind while under the control of the mushroom crown? If he was, I can see him being stuck in a sort of loop, imagining his family and friends. Think like Mabel's Bubble from ‘Gravity Falls’ weirdmageddon. Sozonius is trapped in a mental bubble, stuck in a false reality as the now mushroom-infected Sozo takes over his body and actions. 

In Sozonius’s mental bubble he is in a place where trees are big, tall mushrooms and flowers are mushrooms, everywhere he turns its mushrooms. He knows something is wrong, everything is too strange, everyone he loves is there with him but is it real? It feels like he's living in a dream. Sozonius proceeds to talk to his friends and family as if they are actually there in which I noticed that Sozo will talk to the menticide mushrooms as if they are actual people.

Sozo Dialogue “Precious, perfect little mushrooms, Sozo is here now, Sozo will always be here…”

”Sozo is busy now… Sozo must commune with the ‘shrooms.”

As time passes more mushrooms grow in his mind prison, and they keep growing and growing until they start to grow on the people he loves. He knows something is happening, he's going mad, and he starts to search for an exit, he needs to escape this false reality that the mushroom crown has created for him. 

He starts fighting the mushroom crown’s hold on him which causes him to regain some awareness. This is when a part of him realizes he’s been tricked, and he starts refusing everything the Mushroomos give him and becomes cruel to them. However, the lambs have never done him wrong before and the lamb (from the cult) begins to be the only person he can trust. At least until it becomes too much and well… we know Sozo’s fate.

SOZO’S REVIVAL 

So Sozo doesn't get resurrected until all the bishops become mortal (at least in my playthrough)(I might change this to he was part of the cult before the bishops I’m not sure). So all the bishop siblings are in the cult and learning the ways of mortal stuff and Sozo appears around the same time, still the crazy Sozo we know and love. However, he’s still very addicted to the menticide mushrooms and both the Lamb and night workers have found Sozo digging through the mushroom crops like a lil racoon.

Based on the game, Sozo likes to run around the cult and do his own thing; he often looks very spaced out but the moment someone talks to him he starts spitting nonsense before yelling at them to go away. The only people Sozo will talk to are people that give Sozo what he wants, which is menticide mushrooms! If you do that for him he will talk your ear off with nonsense, in conversations with him he will often talk about his followers, them being liars and disgusting little creatures. One day though Sozo’s personality seems to change? He starts to tell the lamb,

 “Sozo was just here, all alone, thinking about mushrooms... Uh, Sozo means Sozo's little Mushroomo followers!”

”Yes,, they must be so lost without Sozo. They love Sozo! Everyone loves Sozo - especially Lamb!”

“Without their great and beloved Sozo, Mushroomos must be so scared... YOU! You must save them! Save them and bring them to Sozo.”

”They will be trapped in Anura. They are always getting captured when they don't have their great Sozo to protect them. Rescue them and bring them to me.”

But when you bring the followers to Sozo he ends up eating them. At first glance you can assume it's just his addiction, in which it most certainly could be! He sees a big mushroom and he's like oooo~ delicious but there's also a possibility of this being Dr. Sozonius’s anger coming out. The whole fighting against the mushroom crown’s influence and realization that he’s been tricked. Maybe a mix of his addiction and anger for what they did to him? I’m not too sure if Sozo eating the Mushroomos was a problem before he joined the cult.

Of course, this addiction must be stopped so the lamb decides enough is enough and refuses to get more Mushroomos. This causes Sozo to dissent and, with little choice, the Lamb has to put him in rehab. I imagine it would’ve been a struggle getting Sozo to the prison without the Red Crown’s help. With the power of an ant that is Sozo’s size it's a miracle he didnt break that pillory while he was in it. Sozo just stayed silent and didn't fight; the person he had put his trust and hope in has imprisoned him. Sozo is a bit depressed at that moment. 

After Sozo has been re-educated, released, and cured of his addiction the mushroom crown finally falls off his head. Which, like I said before, makes me wonder, was it being powered by the menticide mushrooms Sozo has been eating or is it something else?

But Dr. Sozonius talks about some stuff before saying,

Dr. Sozonius Dialogue “I can’t help but feel that I have you to thank for… something. You have my loyalty, I will remain here and serve you. Please, take this!”

Sozonius was ready to live his life rather than reunite with his family in the afterlife. He wasn't expecting to be resurrected after dying in the cult from old age. But Sozonius gave the lamb their loyalty and promised to stay in the cult and serve them. The Lamb had been so kind as to give Sozonius an immortality necklace, the Lamb didn’t want Sozonius to go yet… and Sozo’s heart was too kind and soft. He will have to wait a bit longer to return home to his family, but maybe some good things will come out of staying longer~

Also! Who do we think Sozo was talking to? 

A Mushroomo Dialogue "Who is Sozo talking to when he whispers in the dark...?"

Is he talking to himself? The mushrooms? Or the Fox?

[thesuntookgoodcareofme]

Been seeing a lot of discussion on rgu and race(and racism) recently which I think it's great. I plan to do a coherent little analisys on it some (not near) time, but for now, there's this thing that has been on my brain since my first watch;

About Akio, that has all control overs Ohtori being a brown man, and Anthy being the sufferer of all oppression not only for being a girl, but also clearly different in the academy for being brown (suffering with what can really be interpreted as racism, because of the constant sexualization, objectification and villifying of her). It's a contrast between the two siblings that has to do i'd say with the inherent links of types of prejudice: misoginy, racism, transphobia, homophobia, ableism go ideologically and systemically hand in hand.

Anthy is a brown girl that endured the thousand swords of humanitys hatred, prejudice. She carries with herself the open wound of all the girls under patriarchy, but not just this, she is vulnerable. A trafficked brown queer teenage girl victim of systemical abuse. And although the anime 'focus' its themes on gender, still, we can clearly pick up on multiple adding interpretations of Anthy as the representation of girls of marginalized groups.

Akio is not vulnerable, as he is an adult, an authority figure, the patriarch (and almost its god, when he paints himself as Dios) of ohtoris system, the academys Headmaster. But he is a brown man that, as we know, is also a marginalized group. And Akio, despite his positions as both teorically Dios and symbolically Lucifer, is also inserted in his own system. He is not the owner of Ohtori, and pardon me if I mix up the titles and positions names i'm vry tired, he's being a substitute to the actual guy, Kanaes father. So, even in this position so high of authority, we can see that even he has to play his own game and fall beneath someone with more power than him. Because that's how hierarchies and patriarchy works. And it makes me remember of when we see his and Anthys backstories:

So now, the part I've been thinking about since ever:

The place where Anthy and Akio stay is a wooden cabin with hay, which is similar to the ones that were built in america in the beggining of colonization. I apologize deeply, but I forgot about the name of the structure and the name of the article that discussed Anthy being brown, but I'll link it if I find it again. Anthy wears this very humble red cloth, that is indubtly more simple than Dios and the peoples clothing. It shows the beggining of ostracization. Dios clothing is white and similar to a tuxedo like the crowd is wearing, and anthys is red just like the rosebride dress.

For me, that seems to show us how the man and woman gender hierarchy is a colonizer idea.

Anthy dresses in a piece of cloth of the same colour of her bridal dress, because her as a brown girl is not a princess, not worth of value, a witch, and only valuable as an man serving object. And Akio, being now categorized as a man, even though he'a a child, dresses in a white tuxedo similar to the ones worn by grooms. He's higher in the hierarchy, but still used. And when Anthy helps her brother herself, despite being the lowest in the worlds hierarchy, the crowd attacks her and it consolidates the system that Akio knows dives fully into, as the master, but also not unharmed; at least from when he was a kid.

[you-were-alone-too]

although im LIVING for what seems to be confirmation of gay mike and the fact that the lyrics suggest that he wants will to confess to him first... (see exhibits a and b below)

if we assume that these lyrics are decently accurate to mike's arc in s5, then we'll see mike struggle a lot with communicating his feelings and that he hopes will makes the first move, but i don't think that necessarily means that's how it's going to happen.

mike tries and fails to communicate his true feelings to el multiple times throughout the show, and the few times that he does manage to tell her how he feels are usually based on impulse or because she's on the verge of death (and as we know, they're not necessarily his true feelings).

it's important for mike to be the one to confess to will, not only for his own emotional growth, but also to show the audience that will is the only person that he's able to be his true self with (both platonically and romantically). even though he's been able to successfully express his true feelings to will in the past, he's only been able to do so under the guise of friendship. but any time his feelings could possibly be misconstrued as romantic, we can see him acting similarly toward will like he does el: by pulling away, acting impulsively, or lashing out (like at the airport when he doesn't hug will, or at the roller rink when he says they're just friends. this is probably because mike is worried that treating will in the same way as he's expected to treat his girlfriend could be seem as romantic).

will has already done his part to try and communicate his feelings to mike. although he DID lie by saying the painting is from el, we know that mike is eventually going to realize that will lied, so will's true feelings will still be understood by mike in the end, regardless of will's intention to push him closer to el instead.

this now puts the ball in mike's court, leaving it up to him to be the one that has to confess to will. and i think that these lyrics do a great job of showcasing mike's struggle to communicate his true romantic feelings. he's so used to repressing himself and his interests and tries so hard to be "normal" that he wants someone else that isn't as scared of being different (or at least less scared than him) to do the hard part first.

so i think that mike has to be the one to clearly confess his feelings and put himself out there. this season is going to force him on a journey of emotional growth and self-acceptance. finally, mike is going to be the first one to step out of line and risk it all, even if he thinks he might be rejected. he's going to fully accept himself, not just the fact that he's d&d-loving nerd, but also that he's gay and in love with his best friend

[alaynestcnes]

…many thoughts abt this asos passage.

like we have jon once again imagining getting frisky in the godswood. his obsession with the godswood/hot pools and his voyeur/sacrilege kink are literally confirmed….love this little freak. but not only that, we have the inclusion of him refusing his desires (kissing ygritte) because of his father watching - manifesting as a face on a weirwood - literally the manifestation of jon’s shame and guilt about his feelings and what his father would think.

and then this shame and denial of his desires is followed by the reasons for his guilt; he was the blood of winterfell. it’s strange to me that this reason is placed before being a man of the night’s watch, when that is the actual oath he broke for ygritte. not to mention that specific blood of winterfell term being used, when jon and sansa are the only starks to refer to themselves this way. it would have had the same meaning if grrm used ‘he was a stark’/‘he was eddard stark’s son’. but instead, he chose the term that links jon and sansa.

then we have the classic you know nothing, jon snow. this is ygritte’s catchphrase, so it’s clear why it’s included in his drugged out dream abt ygritte but we do see this phrase connected with sansa in his recollection before he dies…it’s strange how easily it can be used as a thread to link ygritte to sansa. interesting that there are two links that could be made to sansa here. (and i knowww the antis are going to accuse me of sTeALiNg CoNtEnT but that’s literally not possible, none of the content exists in a ship-only vacuum and content can have multiple meanings for multiple charas/used as textual tools to link events/charas/themes. like if an argument can be made that a link is exists, then everyone has the right to make the argument 🙄).

mayhaps i am delulu but we know grrms lovessss his breadcrumbs and alluding to future events/layering multiple meanings into his dream sequences. the veil covering this passage of jon’s desires that shame him, make him think of his father’s disapproval, specifically linked to him being blood of winterfell…yeah…i wonder what sort of future desires and events grrm could be alluding to that might lead to similar feelings….

[takami-takami]

My headcanon about Hawks is that the same duality that exists in his personality exists in bed.

Like we all know Keigo is a good person, a good boy. We know he feels strongly, we know he's empathetic and kind and observant. But we also know he's willing to do things most people would be unwilling to do, that his actions are painted shades of moral grey.

We know he's sweet and a bit of a tease, he's passionate and optimistic. But he's also incredibly, terrifyingly serious at his core.

He's indulgent and gluttonous with his little allowances like food and sweets, yet selfless and self sacrificing to a fault. He claims to not have self control when it comes to what he wants, yet continuously denies himself the slowness and domestic life he admits to craving.

So. He loves his partner dearly, holds you like glass and treats your feelings with an innocent reverence twice as so. He wants it slow, wants it sweet, wants to cement every ounce of love he has in it.

But those wants aren't going to stop him from devouring you.

It won't stop the carnal desires from welling up, won't make his instincts to take and toy and play with you go away.

Yeah, you're his darling partner for life, his cherished love.

But you're still his chewtoy.

[alienssstufff]

q!dapduo parallels in how they handle grief so INTERESTING I LOVE IT (I hate it. I wish they were still alive).

We got q!Slime who while yes he did threaten the lives of others, ultimately and interestingly he never blamed anyone else except himself (and his wife). Slime destroys because he is upset at himself.

Then we got q!Quackity who even if he doesn’t physically lash out or go on a rampage like q!Slime did, he pins the blame on everyone else and to this day is plotting to kill the dude for revenge - Quackity destroys because he’s upset at the world (and even more himself too, but he has not comes to terms with that yet)

[beawake]

I cannot tell you how important all the friendships are in this show (dead boy detectives) but they are so important.

I already rambled a bit about Charles and Edwin. But also the girls.

Crystal and Niko grow close so very fast. They are very different but that doesn't matter, or maybe it does. They never look down on each other always try to support them and gently advise each other. I love them.

And Niko and Edwin are great! They're exactly what the other needs. Edwin is realistic and slightly pessimistic and repressed. Niko's openess, acceptance and optimism helps him view the world different and accept himself and his feelings. Niko is allowed to touch Edwin and he wants her touch! And Niko wants to help, she needs to be useful and make her friends happy. Edwin allowing Niko to do that with him helped her too, and then helped her (and of course Crystal also encouraged that) get back to her own life little by little (contacting her mother).

And Crystal and Charles. Oh they are messes. And even though there is lust or romantic feelings the friendship is still most important to them, blurring the lines as they are at times. They are so similar! Figuring out themselves (the others are too but think they have everything mostly figured out). I love Crystal setting boundaries, and Charles accepting them without complaint, but Crystal also pushes Charles's boundaries (different ones!) And while Charles doesn't like it he does relent cause he knows Crystal made a point. He values her and her opinions a lot, and while he can be stubborn it helps him figure out his shit. Same for Charles towards Crystal. That's what makes them work.

[hotwaterandmilk]

So I decided to pick up physical copies of The Vampire and His Pleasant Companions from Yen Press on a whim the other day. I've been in such a nostalgia hole about Ragawa's works thanks to the Hanayume 50th celebrations and I remembered her manga adaptation of Konohara Narise's novels had restarted not that long ago. It made sense to get the books and begin a catchup re-read before the fifth volume comes out in English.

I'll be honest, I don't remember much about the Kyuketsuki to Yukai na Nakamatachi novels or manga from when I first encountered them. I had the first two manga volumes in Japanese at one point, but gave them away when the manga went on hiatus years ago. However, upon beginning my catchup re-read in English I was struck by how much the story resonated with me now.

If you've never read the series before now, long story short from Yen Press, "When a vampire from Nebraska named Al gets frozen in bat form, he winds up in Japan under the care of a dark and mysterious man covered in a bloody scent!"

I'd like to get into why I think this series is worth picking up now and for that it's probably easier to throw my ramblings under a cut.

I feel like the humorous elements of the series are what get talked about in the (admittedly scant) English language reviews for the series and, while the whole setup can be quite amusing, the more serious elements are what actually makes it stand out from other vampire tales with romantic elements. While everything is exaggerated, there are some very "real" aspects that help The Vampire and His Pleasant Companions stand out in an endless sea of vampire tales.

For example, Al being bitten by a vampire wasn't a ticket to easy street. There was nothing glamorous about what happened to him. That bite ruined his life and through no fault of is own, he rapidly became destitute. Vampirism in fiction is often shown leading characters to social isolation, but not necessarily to poverty. Given that Al has lost everything that connected him to his previous life, it makes sense that in our current capitalistic society he'd also lose access to even the most basic things our societal identities afford us -- including housing.

So yes, it's amusing that this bat-boy ended up flash frozen and shipped with some meat to Japan. However, the circumstances that led up to that outcome are given the weight they deserve. You truly do feel for Al in these moments because haven't we all been, at one time or another in our lives, perilously close to losing everything? These fleeting glimpses at the past sting in otherwise rollicking segments of the story as they should. Everything beautiful in Al's present is something that he didn't have during his lowest points and you truly feel for him as he works to prolong these moments.

Another serious moment that lifts the series even higher in my eyes is when it becomes aparent that Akira has access to human remains. Rather than handwaving away the access to blood as a convenient way to get Al the nutrition he needs, a significant amount of time is dedicated to the ethics surrounding the situation. The gravity with which all lives should be handled post-mortem and just a generally respectful examination of embalming as a process.

Unsurprisingly, I find the portrayal of Al's "incomplete" vampirism as a form of disability to be a compelling take on the mythos too. Al gets almost none of the "benefits" of being a vampire due to the whole process "not being done properly." What this leaves him with are a lot of things that make his everyday life different from not just humans, but "complete" vampires as well.

These differences mean he struggles to feed himself properly, feels significant levels of pain, and his body is often weak or doesn't behave the way he wants it to. The cause here is obviously fiction, but the way Al's acquired disability impacts his capacity to function to an acceptable level in a society of "normal" folks (both human and vampire) really struck me as ringing true, at least for myself and my own disabilities.

Yeah, I'm not going to turn into an adorable bat (and truly, bat Al is A D O R A B L E) but the struggle to make use of the few good hours in a day when my body works to a degree, that's so goddamn real. Al wants to contribute to the household, to pay back Akira and to be a functioning member of society... but it's not as straightforward for him as it is for others and that's something I appreciate being explored here.

Another thing that stands out to me is Akira's sexuality. While there are a lot of misunderstandings with Al and Akira that lead to people assuming they're lovers, when Akira is pushed into a corner about having a lover he shuts this down by describing himself as being frigid or having a low libido (in very blunt language).

I feel like the depth of this is conveyed well in the English translation by the subsequent line:

While at this point in the series Akira hasn't labeled his sexuality as being either demisexual or asexual, this is definitely something that it feels like the narrative is leaning towards. Particularly when Al clarifies the difference, in his limited language skills, between the physical and the romantic.

Akira is still figuring out what is comfortable for him in terms of dealing with people, so it makes sense that his progress regarding intimacy has only accelerated after meeting Al. The batty vampire is pushing him towards understanding more about himself and how he chooses to interact with those around him, but the ball is still very much in Akira's court regarding whether he'd like to explore either the physical or emotional aspects of their relationship further. I found that really refreshing?

That this story allows the dark-haired, brooding hero who is one part of our lead will-they-or-won't-they, to assert that he doesn't feel the same level of physical attraction that others do. That he isn't entirely confident in this either, that it's a part of himself he's never opened up about before, that it's something Al uncovers and isn't suddenly changed to fit what is acceptable. But that it doesn't lessen Al's interest in him, it's just part of who Akira is... gah! It really resonated with me idk. I love some smut, but I also appreciate it when a story focused on something as sexual as vampirism chooses to eschew this in favour of raw emotional edging instead.

I've pushed the more serious elements of the text in this ramble, but before I wrap up I should really note that there are some very funny moments too. For example, Al's bluntness here when he speaks Japanese.

The Vampire and His Pleasant Companions isn't the best work of vampire fiction I've ever read, but it uses its recurring themes of isolation vs. the need for connection to craft an enjoyable narrative. One that I feel lingers in my mind a bit more than others. While Al's unique form of vampirism leads to some absurd escapades, the story is elevated by having its emotional core remain grounded in the intrinsic beauty of everyday human interaction and how even fundamentally different people can connect in small but significant ways.

Blah blah blah, you should check it out, I can't wait for the next volume, etc.

[solargeist]

wait wait please elaborate the storyline for if he agreed to become a watcher, PLEASE!! I actually kinda want to dive into that idea.. i hadnt heard of the theory before, why did he agree? when did he? what was it like after? did he know anything about the watchers?

ok but doesnt this also kind of fit his personality more?

oh man, I'll try my best, its been awhile since i've watched Evo, and words are not my friends !

Grian knows about the Watchers, they were a common occurrence in Evo, the portals, the pranks, the traps, and the symbols were normal in his day-to-day.

He was their favourite even, gifting him a diamond, in a chest full of coal, a diamond in the rough, in their many eyes. I'm not sure if he knew this though.

I do think at his core, he has a Watcher's personality. He pranks people, he sets traps, he leaves symbols even of his own face, he makes secret bases under other's bases so he can watch them, he likes spying. They must've taken notice of this.

Its not actual lore, but Taurtis makes fun of Grian multiple times for talking to the Audience, which, fourth wall, is us! But I like the idea of it being story, its the Watchers, already leading him down this path from the beginning, hes so promising ! Taurtis calls them the voices in his head, Grian doesn't argue, "Are the voices in your head telling you that?" "Hm..... No, the voices don't even know, its a secret!" The voices, the audience, the watchers, all the same thing. Grian says he's meant to be the hero of the story.

Anyway, Grian meets the Watchers after the server all teams up and slays the dragon, they reach the End. He is 25 years old.

The portal leads him somewhere different than everyone else, everyone else goes home. He goes beyond the credits, who knows where it spawns him, but it doesn't matter, he's being offered a deal, a chance to ascend.... I don't know the exact reason he'd agree, but I'm leaning towards a selfish reason, he's gotten bored with his limitations, he wants to be better, do better, those updates.. They're enticing and he's envious, in the beginning he was punished for being greedy, but now he's being rewarded.

After ? I guess he just lives with the Watchers, in an End city somewhere ? Learning how to craft portals by hand, update ideas, watching players, pranks, traps, symbols, fun ! its fun ! hes having fun !

He starts growing wings ! Its not really fun anymore !! That was the one thing they didn't tell him about, not directly, he agreed to be a Watcher, he clicked his heels and said I wanna be a watcher, but he didn't understand it meant really becoming one physically, yknow, it could've been a title! a role he's meant to play !

I write two paths from this point. 1) He runs away from the Watchers and ends up in Hermitcraft, still with those brilliant white wings.

2) He just sticks with it, creature mode, he grows wings, it sucks, but things can be fun again, back to it, he grows talons, it hurts, but still, he spends his time digging through servers and player lists, he grows two more eyes and feathers peek through his skin. He's 25 years old, he likes pranks, and traps, and symbols. This is more the bad end friends version LOL that I use for fanart fun.

Thats, all the storyline ? That I draw ? Its nothing crazy, just a tinyyyy bit more than canon . My version, my theory, my boy !!

But at the end of the day, regardless, I do think the Watchers genuinely love him, maybe in the way you love a puppy and give them treats when they sit and be quiet, but they're extremely fond of him.

[wilsonsmcgillsweatshirt]

I am currently thinking about how House regularly uses himself as a scapegoat so he can help other people. Like with Foreman and his brother, House purposefully brought up their mother because he knew that it would spark outrage. He knew they would be mad at him. He wanted them to be mad at him so they could reconcile. House is so used to upsetting people. He's so used to being yelled at, hit, and insulted. He regularly seeks out those responses, so doing something that causes people to treat him that way is easy. He has created this persona that doesn't care about anything and will do anything to upset people without provocation or reason.

If he didn't care about Foreman enough to want to help him reconcile with his brother, I do not believe he would have ever brought up their mother. He understood how personal that was, and there would have been no reason. I don't think House likes having people hate him, I don't think he likes being yelled at or upsetting people. I think he just doesn't know how to be any other way. Hurting people, at his own expense, comes naturally. He will play the bad guy over and over again to help the people he cares about. But because he puts himself in that position to be their scapegoat, people don't recognize what he's doing. He's being kind, in his own fucked up way. And I don't think anyone except for Wilson and sometimes Cuddy recognize it.

[the-flying-robins]

I was talking to my spouse about the "Jason Lives" what-if comic they're planning and now I can't stop thinking about it. Unfortunately *I* do not know much of anything about the Jason Robin era and the general state of everything in universe at that time. Because if you assume most of the events of Death in the Family still happen, it's only Jason living at the end that really changes, you still have to grapple with him being pretty injured in a rather similar way to Dick's final injury as Robin.

And that raises the question, how does Bruce handle it? Does he fire Jason like he fired Dick? And if he does, how does Jason handle that. So much of Dick's journey to Nightwing (post-crisis, I'm really only pulling is only possible because of the support system he has, the people he can lean on, and the places he can stay.

(We're only going to stick with Post-Crisis continuity here, I'm trying to think of it more as a what-if scenario than like a fic.)

But I don't think Jason really has that? Dick has the Titans, he stays with Clark for a bit in the immediate aftermath, who does Jason have? Dick? He's off planet at the time, and not back for a couple weeks, a couple months (ngl, I tried to find a timeline that made sense, needless to say, it's comics, I couldn't.)

Also, he's 15 at the time compared to Dick's 17. It's significantly easier for Dick with both those extra years and the support he has to move out become a solo vigilante. Jason is 15, still in high school, and while maybe not a super public figure definitely public enough questions would be raised if he just left. Granted some of that could be solved with Bruce just saying boarding school, but while Bruce isn't always the most conscious of what is acceptable for children/teens, I have to think even he wouldn't let Jason just live on his own at that age, so moving out more permanently like Dick did is off the table at least for a little bit.

It also brings up the problem of "Batman needs a Robin" and Tim's motivation to join the cause. Does Bruce go as off the rails without a Robin if Robin is at least still alive? Tim knows their identities, it's how he knew for sure it was Robin's death that caused it. Would he pester Jason about returning to Robin, or go to Dick because well it's Dick?

And would Jason even want to continue being a hero? Would he be as upset as Dick and go around Bruce to make a name for himself? What would a never killed Jason "adult" vigilante even look like?

I'd love to talk about this more, especially with someone a bit better versed in Jason!Robin, my reading project is focused more on the 90's to flashpoint atm, so I really am not familiar with him at all.