#lots of rambling that i hope makes sense

[somnimagus]

My page for @sheikahzine; about Impaz's duty to her village, empty of people and full of memories.

[id in alt text]

[shopwitchvamp]

I mean this gently but I have to say somethin' here- I've been getting so much "make your skirts cheaper" "I love this but why are they soooo expensive" etc lately and like look, I know a lot of this is because times are hard.. (otherwise why would I be hearing this more & more this year when prices haven't changed compared to last year) but I just wanna say that one of the only ways I could lower prices (if I was ruthless and didn't care) would be to cut sizing options. Like idk how to word what I'm trying to say, but just know when you shout stuff like this at other brands & they decide they need to find a way to cut costs to lower prices, being size inclusive is gonna be one of the first things to go. I have no plans to do this myself, but for example, a D Size Skater costs me almost twice as much (talking about only the direct from the manu cost, there are other factors too such as that they weigh more so that adds more shipping costs as well) as an A Size Skater. Say I cut D Size altogether.. and many companies would have by now while also not even lowering the price.. I could increase my profit margins significantly right away. Now lets say I cut both C and D and become a shop that only offers the standard range of SM-XL. Wow! Suddenly profits are up so much!! Or maybe going not full corporate greed, I could handle lowering skater prices by like $10 (random number not based on real math idk what things would actually work out to because I'm not gonna do it). But now no one over a size XL can order from me. I fear none of what I'm trying to get across is getting across but I just mean to say, in order to offer what I offer, the prices need to be what they are. They aren't set arbitrarily high & lowering them would mean needing to make choices that I will not make (becoming less size inclusive or making my business unsustainable in the sense that it would not survive long).

[flowerakatsuka]

" just know that i'm always here for you, okay? "

i'm finally finishing up my s2 rewatch and getting to the 24th episode awoke a beast in me. so i wanted to make a fake screenshot based on some of their lore that takes place during that episode. i think they'd end up having a heart-to-heart moment since kuroba went through similar struggles after their grandfather's own hospitalization...

also have a bonus doodle bc i need to even out the balance between serious & goofy with these two.

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

Peaceful property is a bl even if it's not. It's also about so many other things although not really delivering on a consistent message.

I thought about adding my thoughts to this thread but it was getting long and I started to get sidetracked so I decided to just make my own post about it and share my thoughts on it. @lurkingshan @bengiyo and @twig-tea all made good point about why this show is faltering with its own themes, and @respectthepetty made a compelling argument that the show knows what its doing.

I think no one is wrong and I land somewhere in the middle with it. As in, depending on what I choose to care about. Much like @respectthepetty, I am bias about this show. For different reasons tho. I like Tay and New a lot so I lead with that instead of my critical thinking. just as a personal aside, I tend to do this when my brain and heart don't align. I ignore when my brain tells me that the show is doing something wrong so that I can enjoy the rest. This works particularly well with QL for some reason. I am after all a person who liked Dangerous Romance even when my brain kept trying to damper my enjoyment with logic. And also sometimes I'm a hypocrite and there's no reason for why I like a show and not another. Ok, there's usually a reason but it's most often not a good one, or a rational one at least. That's just how it is.

Anyway. Because of all the excellent points made by that post I decided to fully engage my brain and I've been thinking about what this show is trying to say and I agree that unfinished business is the main thing in the ghost stories but I would have to shut off my brain completely to not see how class factors into all of it as well.

The ghosts up until now, except the chef, were all lower class and one can argue that it played a part in how they died or what happened after. I'm not including episode 7 for reasons that I will explain in a bit. Even if Ride's unfinished business was about love, the fact that he was the only rider doing deliveries in the rain, at least to me, read as he was driven by the need to make money in the first place. Even in the chef's case, the customer that Peach basically poisoned was rich and it was a part of the headlines about it and the reason for the restaurant getting shut down. Also most of the individual stories didn't get deep into these issues, case of the week usual issues, but it was always an underlying theme. Also as @twig-tea said all the parallels work even better because this disparity also exists between Home and Peach.

All this gets me to how I started this post. This is a bl even if it isn't. The choice to include the tragic bl storyline in the middle of this, in my own brain, can only be explained if I believe this is a bl. (The tragic bit was thematically consistent with this show.) Specifically a gmmtv bl. Cause ultimately they have a tendency to forsake narrative consistency if it stops serving the main romance. It's also the only way I can explain having a bl pair mirroring the other bl pair on screen. So in that way it's consistent with gmmtv. Just brush aside anything that can get in the way of the couple not having a happy ending. This is also how I explain my biggest issue with it. Pangpang. She's the shipper. She's been the shipper from basically the start.

Home basically killed her brother, why would she be the driving force in getting him forgiven? Because of my previously admitted bias, I forgave Home almost immediately. It's New and he didn't mean it, it was an accident and he wanted to call for help and do the right thing but his family interfered and.... I could come up with a lot of reasons because I want to forgive him. So everything else can be ignored. But all this obviously doesn't apply to Pang. So it can only be the bl in the not a bl show.

Now, on full brainy mode, this last episode makes no sense with everything else this show has been saying until now. They used a branded pair to ignore any class disparity between our mains, since the last ghost story didn't really parallel that, and over the forgiveness part, and jump straight into Peach has forgiven Home and will probably now become his saviour. Don't even get me started on the fact that Peach is still broke but saving the rich dude that turned his life to crap will be the most important thing right now. I wonder if gmmtv has ever ignored class disparity between a main couple and instead focused on the richer dude's drama while ignoring the struggle of the other one, all in favour of the main romance and lovey dovey moments 🤔. But I guess I'll reserve full judgement on that until the next episode.

yeah, so basically this is where I am at with this show. My two sides are fighting but come next wednesday my brain will take the back seat for 45 minutes so I can enjoy Tay and New and after that maybe I'll think about it some more.

[phoenixkaptain]

Can’t help but listen to Star Wars music and think about Star Wars and then I come to Realizations and it’s a whole mess BuT-

Leia is what Anakin could have been.

The face of rebellion. The one who killed Jabba the Hutt. Overwhelming passion and fury and love. Determination and passion made into positive difference. Terrifying in her anger and magnetic in her warmth. Especially the Anakin we see in the Clone Wars, Leia is the culmination of all he could have become. A leader fighting on the front lines, refusing to give in, loyal to the point of suicidal.

Luke is what Darth Vader could have been.

A being whose power was forged in Darkness, but who ultimately chooses the Light. A shadowy figure who appears where he’s least wanted when he’s least expected. Unreadable and all-consumingly powerful. Someone who slips into the role of the intimidator with ease, someone who is willing to be the second-in-command. Fighting in the background, unseen to most but the effects seen by all.

Leia kills Jabba with the chains he put her in. Anakin kills Sidious with the cage he trapped him in. Darth Vader chokes Tagge to make a point and to intimidate. Luke chokes the Gamorrean guards to make a point and intimidate.

Leia was Anakin’s possibilities, Luke was Darth Vader’s.

[angelcasendgame]

This post by beloved @angelsdean is making me think a lot abt Dean + vulnerability, and how I'm reconsidering John's opinions on being openly emotional. And I used to think John would berate Dean for not being tough enough but these days, I think it comes from Dean not wanting to add to John's distress

This isn't to say John's never told Dean to put his emotions away, I'm sure he did at some point, esp with masculinity from the 80s to 2000s + the hunting community as a whole, but by in large, I don't think it's as cut and dry as John strictly telling Dean to "man up" or not show any emotions

In 1x09 Home, Dean calls John crying on the phone saying he's scared and he thinks the thing Mary killed is at the house, and I think if John outwardly berated Dean for being emotional, he would have rerecorded it to sound stoic/serious. I think what's more likely since John was so wrapped up in his own grief/distress, Dean's emotions were brushed past overtime and he stopped turning to John for for comfort/reassurance. And we see Dean and John both switch between father-son and drill sergeant-soldier mode, which doens't help

Growing up, Dean sees John struggling often with grief over losing Mary and the horrors of hunting, and not only has Dean comforted John about it, John has openly accepted the comfort!! And with Dean being forced to place himself between John and Sam constantly bickering, there wasn't enough space for him to show or priortize his own emotions so he simply remains as the Emotionally Supportive One while he (and John) neglect Dean's emotional needs

This isn't to say it's not neglect and abuse, it absolutely is!!! John never should have put Dean in this position where he's continuously comforting John because he doesn't have any adult friends to turn to for emotional support and makes his CHILD feel like he has to be the one to do it

And this is where Dean's facade comes from where he's reluctant to talk about his own stuff. When Dean says "no chick flick moments" in 1x01, it's because Sam is apologizing to Dean for how he spoke about Mary. And throughout the show, Dean shuts people down (mostly Sam lol, he does very easily open up to others) about wanting to talk about his own emotions but he doesn't express discomfort with listening, validating, and being there for others or making them feel uncomfortable for showing their own emotions, and that comes from years of experiences of supporting a super outwardly emotional John who isn't afraid to be vulnerable

[screechingfromthevoid]

I think the same reason I love Dorym is why I love Loquatious and Laerryn. One, the devotion of it all. But secondly, and more importantly, "But there's one story of a fairy who stumbled into this world and fell in love"

Because Dorian is an air genasi prince who left home to find something real. His home floats on wind and he's never wanted for a thing. And he came down from his clouds only to find himself stumbling, tumbling, into love with just a man.

There is something so earnest about a man who is considered magical and wondrous in a world that already has magic, falling in love with someone who just is.

It's a thought that scratches the back of my mind a lot. It goes hand in hand with Liam saying "he has no idea if Dorian returns his feelings". Because from Orym's point of view why would Dorian have feelings for him? Dorian. The beautiful blue prince who is extremely talented in both music and magic. Dorian is everything Orym admires in other people. Everything he doesn't see in himself.

But Dorian does have feelings for Orym. Because Orym is everything he's not. He's firm and reliable. He knows who he is and is unapologetic about it. Orym was the only one in the (original) Crown Keepers that wasn't tempted by the spider queen. Because he was too principled. He was too good. Dorian's alignment changed. Dorian felt himself getting worse. Yet Orym stayed steadfast. In the face of everything he did not change.

Their pursuits were the same. They wanted to protect their friends. At any cost. But Orym somehow stayed unchanged. He always knew the right way of doing things.

So the handsome prince fell in love with a guard and planned to stay with him until he no longer wanted the company.

I literally said to a friend "I know he leaves. But he is so devoted to Orym I don't know how they're going to get him to."

And it was the one thing neither could argue against. Family. Orym knew about family. He knew about duty.

But even a continent away Dorian couldn't stop thinking about Orym. His little tactician before he was the savior blade. Even when his world came crashing down, Orym called and he went.

Idk. I think there's something beautiful in the way that Dorian loves Orym. I think it is very reminiscent of the fey who stumbled into this world and fell in love. I think it will be a love that will always be with them. That they will have to recover from. A love they might have to mourn before they ever have it.

Even if they never... If there is no love confession, if they have to mourn the loss of the people they thought they were, if there's no way for them to be together; Dorian will always love Orym. In the same way Orym loves Will. First love often lingers.

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

after reading the ending and seeing the meltdown on twitter over the mistranslation before the official chapter it's just kind of annoyed me how people view gojo as some perpetually insecure, self deprecating dude when he was never that.

Ofc geto's defection fucked him over and that loss of a valuable bond was the guiding force behind a lot of choices he made in life but he was always, always fond of jujutsu itself, it's the orthodox structure and lone burden on his shoulders he disliked.

Even nanami clocked him for that in 236. That he enjoyed the thrill of sorcery. I hate satoru's uwufication (and don't get me wrong he's very much my cutie patootie) but to view his complexities as just insecurities is such a narrow view.

It's also why it didn't really surprise me when he "went south" in 236. So many people called his confession in that chapter ooc but in my opinion that raw vulnerability was so intriguing and on brand for him lol. Loving the fight, not being able to hate sukuna, trying to reach him through his skills, admitting the distance he created with others because the gap was just that big, and choosing to stay in the blue spring this time because that period was the most blissful time of his life..it's the first time he chose himself and chose life as Satoru and not just as the strongest.

And to see this same effect happen during the leak mistranslation with so many gojo stans babying him again and it was so..like bro 😭 are we sure we read the same content

THIS . THIS . THIIIIIIIS

anon thank you for putting this into words bc i have been struggling to do the same 💀 but i absolutely agree!!! i also have a big issue with people viewing him as insecure or sad because i truly think gojo was fully comfortable in his own isolation . he’s never pitied himself, and that makes him more tragic, not less. the mistranslation thing in 271 with ’i also have love and dreams’ just made me sigh because that’s just something gojo wouldn’t say 😭…. obviously he has dreams and he has love but he’d never frame that sentence in such a self-pitying way — he’s only telling yuji to carry on his dream if he dies. that’s all.

i can’t explain it super well but to me the greatest tragedy of gojo’s character is that he so rarely gets upset over his own situation — he’s been used and abused in plenty of ways but i don’t think he actually minds, because that’s all he knows. he’s staggeringly mature and resigned and that’s an aspect of his character i think isn’t talked about enough. he even finds joy in his own situation, through fighting and teaching, despite how much weight he has to carry. how overworked he is. ’one must imagine sisyphus happy’ applies really well to gojo, i think…….

and that’s why a lot of fandom takes just . irk me 😭 the truth is that gojo probably wouldn’t mind having his body used after death. and like he himself says in 271 — he doesn’t mind if people forget him. that’s just the kind of guy he is. he’s tragic in the sense that he goes with the flow and accepts the reality of his own existence without wishing for anything different. i think he did have hope that he wouldn’t have to be alone when he was with suguru, but after his defection that hope disappeared. suguru’s importance to satoru is one thing i don’t think anyone can ignore, but i don’t think he turned into some kind of empty shell after he left, either — suguru was simply the end of satoru seeking out meaningful, equal human connection.

…… until sukuna :3c

which!!! for the record!!!!!! i 100% agree with you on. 236 is one of my favorite chapters and i will literally fight the ooc allegations until the day i die bc i don’t think they understand gojo 💀 sorry to say. him finding value in fighting someone like sukuna makes all the sense in the world considering he’s the closest thing satoru has gotten to being on truly equal grounds with someone. and the fact that satoru wanted to teach sukuna about love speaks volumes about his character, how much he detests the isolation of strength. satoru isn’t a saint, but he’s a good guy with very particular motivations. and him finding peace in the bliss of his youth, right after being referred to as ’satoru gojo’ by sukuna …….. must have felt soooo liberating. criticisms about the aftermath of his death aside, i do think this was the happiest ending for someone like gojo.

i will say that nanami’s comment in 236 is often misunderstood as well — he’s specifically talking about teen gojo, not adult gojo. adult gojo fights for plenty of things, not just the thrill — but obviously he still enjoys that even now. i think a lot of people make the mistake of either viewing gojo as some morally corrupt fight loving feral maniac (which is just plain wrong), or viewing him as this sad, sad man who never wanted to fight (which is also plain wrong)…. he’s a deeply tragic character with a lot of kindness in his heart, and even at the very end i don’t think he was truly sad over his own circumstances.

i hope . that was semi-coherent ;;; sorry for just hijacking your ask anon but this was a good opportunity for me to talk about some things that have been bugging me for a while 😭 gojo is a wonderfully written character and i don’t think he was ooc even in 271 (though the talk with yuji felt sloppy to me in execution), i just wish his death had been handled as well as it deserved to be ….

[panoffrying]

My Dr. Sozonius LORE Headcanons

✨Warning this is a bit long✨

Sozo is a character that has lived for a very long time. Whatever that mushroom was on their head not only influenced Sozo but kept them immortal. We know really nothing bout Sozos past so I made some headcanons for silly fun and for me to visualize who Sozo was and what his life may have looked like. I want to do my best to keep this as game accurate as possible, so there will be quotes from the game. The quotes are not at all in order! I kinda just bring up random Sozo quotes as I go. Also I apologize if this doesn't make sense or if I ramble (I get excited about certain topics) 

thank you so much @7moonbird for going over and editing this for me, Love ya Pookie!

And so we start:

Sozonius was born in the days of the old faith. He was present the day the Bishops declared the genocide of the lambs and he actually played a big part in assisting the lambs survival. However, he almost got caught and had to stop helping the lambs to keep his family safe. He's never seen any of the bishops(maybe) but his village was part of Darkwood and therefore under Bishop Leshy’s ruling.

VILLAGE 

Sozonius village was mostly a colony of Carpenter Ants, there were a few other species living there too but it was mostly Carpenter Ants. I imagine there are different races of ants depending on the region they’re in; so there could be fire ants, pharaoh ants, and more! Most ants get along nicely and work together but sometimes other races of ants can be more temperamental and cause conflict between colonies. Carpenter ants are a more calm type of ants, they aren't aggressive but they are incredibly strong. Carpenters ants are known to live in trees; they hollow out trees to make their homes and they like to stay off the ground as much as possible in case of floods and other dangers.

In the colony they had their ruler, the “Queen,” who looked over the village and did queenly business (not gonna go too deep into it). Everyone had many different jobs, ants are hard workers and very strong. They made marvelous structures, farmed a lot of crops, and knew how to work together when there was a threat. Sozo’s village was one that many others would try making deals/trades with. I would talk more about his village but that's not why y’all are here lol. 

Sozonius was a fellow damn near everyone in the village knew. He loved his work and he loved to talk about it to anyone that expressed that they wanted to listen. He was that guy that you could get stuck in a conversation with and struggle to end it. He liked to ramble about his work and kids. Other than that though he never really started conversations with others, he would keep to himself unless someone interacted with him.

And I could definitely see him having a science rival but nothing too bad lol.

FAMILY

“Where am I…? Where is… my family…?”  are the words Sozo says when he turns back into Dr. Sozonius. I like to think he had a wife and two children. They didn’t have the best marriage but they made it work out for their two sons. His wife was a bit stubborn and very honest. She would say things before thinking which did cause issues, but Sozonius let it slide because he loved her so much and wanted a happy family for his sons. 

Sozonius was a very funny dude. He made dad jokes all the damn time, his family would pretend to hate the jokes but in reality they did love them. 

Sozo Dialogue “Now all Sozo can think about is mushrooms, mushrooms, MUSHROOMS… They don’t leave mush-room for anything else! Ha!”

(Also, this next idea is inspired off of @kuphulwho headcanons for Sozo. I loved her ideas and I recommend y'all look at her headcanons too!) Aside from Sozonius being a mycologist he had a side hobby of art! He wasn't the best artist, but he was really talented with sketching plants/fungi, he liked to make art of anything that interested him. He most likely wrote an educational picture book about Fungi, there's probably an old copy of it somewhere.

This art hobby caught the interest of his two sons, and they also started to pursue art. Sozonius would take his free time teaching his sons how to draw plants and such. Sozonius would hang his kids' art everywhere in their house, it was like walking into an art museum haha.

JOB

Sozonius studied mycology which means he studied fungi. Sozonius knew fungi could benefit his society and he wanted to help educate others about the importance of fungi. Soon he learned enough of a new discovery of mushroom people, neither plant nor animal…Sozonius then made the decision to go on a solo mission to study the Mushroomo people.

THE MUSHROOMOS 

Dr. Sozonius Dialogue “My name is Dr. Sozonius. I was researching the Mushroomos that live in Spore Grotto… strange creatures, Neither animal nor plant…” 

Sozonius went to Spore Grotto and at first, he studied the Mushroomo people from a distance setting up a campsite near the Mushroomo Village. When the Mushroomo people discovered Sozonius they welcomed him into their home, cheerful happy little things. Sozonius was given the chance to learn more about these strange creatures up close! How could he say no? Sozonius was welcomed into Spore Grotto and was treated like a god. 

Sozonius asked the Mushroomos many questions, but getting any actual answers from them was difficult. The Mushroomos treated Sozonius like he was their most special guest, they danced and sang for Sozonius. They would mimic Sozonius and follow him around, making sure to do anything he asked of them. There would be many times when the Mushroomos would offer to feed Sozonius menticide mushrooms but Sozonius knew a lot about fungi and declined their offers. However, there seemed to be a special Ritual the Mushroomos took part in… 

Sozonius had been in Spore Grotto for many weeks now, it was time for him to leave, he had studied enough and was ready to return home but the Mushroomos were surprisingly sad when he announced this. They wanted to show Sozonius a sacred ritual to them before he left, he wasn't aware of the menticide mushrooms being part of it…

Dr. Sozonius Dialogue “They gave me Menticide Mushrooms, and then… that’s the last thing I remember…”

After Sozonius was tricked into eating menticide mushrooms and also gave Sozonius a crown, a crown that would grow into Sozoniuss mind, he shall be the Mushroomos leader… And the new Sozo was made. (literally just think of Ice Age 2 when the lil sloths take Sid to be their fire king, however they don't sacrifice him)

The mushroom on Sozos head is very powerful, it makes me wonder what it is exactly, it gives the person wearing it immortality, but also causes the user to go insane (don't forget that Sozo is also being fed menticide mushrooms) the mushroom crown kinda reminds me of Chemachs crown. It seems to have a mind of its own and a face. I feel like the Mushroomos for days straight made sure to give Sozo a diet of only menticide mushrooms to make him forget everything and to possibly power the mushroom crown. They would constantly tell Sozo that his mind would be open and free, that it would make him feel better, and Sozo being under the influence of the mushroom listened to them.

A Mushroomo Dialogue "Once you taste the Menticide Mushroom your mind will be opened." 

As the years went by so did all the sanity Sozonius had left, but in some moments Sozonius seems to still be aware but not all there. 

Sozo Dialogue “Sozo had friends... Followers... family... now Sozo has mushrooms..."

Sozo over time seems to start to dislike his followers and call them liars. He even becomes quite cruel to his followers. Yet he also mentions that he trusts the lamb and wants the lamb to protect him from his followers which makes me believe that Sozonius is somehow a little aware and fighting against the mushroom crown’s influence. He is mad at the Mushroomos for lying to him, tricking him, making him into who he is now.

 Sozo Dialogue  “No need to thanks Sozo. Build it at your Cult then come back to me. Sozo shall grant you one last gift. Sozo is always fair. Always repays this debts. Not like those LIARS out there."

"You did it! Now I know I can trust you... not like those nasty liars outside. They are always watching, always listening! Here take this. You are Sozo's best friend, you are Sozo's only friend."

"Sozo can trust you now, Sozo will pledge himself to you! You will protect me from those liars outside and bring Sozo mushrooms!"

(Also a side note that my gf brought to my attention last second lol! Apparently parasitic mushrooms rely on insects to spread. That is probably why they tricked Sozonius into staying and eating menticide mushrooms. Maybe it's been that long since they've seen an insect)

SOZOS IMPRISONMENT

So, this next little headcanon of mine is an interesting one and might be confusing to explain. Was Sozonius imprisoned within his own mind while under the control of the mushroom crown? If he was, I can see him being stuck in a sort of loop, imagining his family and friends. Think like Mabel's Bubble from ‘Gravity Falls’ weirdmageddon. Sozonius is trapped in a mental bubble, stuck in a false reality as the now mushroom-infected Sozo takes over his body and actions. 

In Sozonius’s mental bubble he is in a place where trees are big, tall mushrooms and flowers are mushrooms, everywhere he turns its mushrooms. He knows something is wrong, everything is too strange, everyone he loves is there with him but is it real? It feels like he's living in a dream. Sozonius proceeds to talk to his friends and family as if they are actually there in which I noticed that Sozo will talk to the menticide mushrooms as if they are actual people.

Sozo Dialogue “Precious, perfect little mushrooms, Sozo is here now, Sozo will always be here…”

”Sozo is busy now… Sozo must commune with the ‘shrooms.”

As time passes more mushrooms grow in his mind prison, and they keep growing and growing until they start to grow on the people he loves. He knows something is happening, he's going mad, and he starts to search for an exit, he needs to escape this false reality that the mushroom crown has created for him. 

He starts fighting the mushroom crown’s hold on him which causes him to regain some awareness. This is when a part of him realizes he’s been tricked, and he starts refusing everything the Mushroomos give him and becomes cruel to them. However, the lambs have never done him wrong before and the lamb (from the cult) begins to be the only person he can trust. At least until it becomes too much and well… we know Sozo’s fate.

SOZO’S REVIVAL 

So Sozo doesn't get resurrected until all the bishops become mortal (at least in my playthrough)(I might change this to he was part of the cult before the bishops I’m not sure). So all the bishop siblings are in the cult and learning the ways of mortal stuff and Sozo appears around the same time, still the crazy Sozo we know and love. However, he’s still very addicted to the menticide mushrooms and both the Lamb and night workers have found Sozo digging through the mushroom crops like a lil racoon.

Based on the game, Sozo likes to run around the cult and do his own thing; he often looks very spaced out but the moment someone talks to him he starts spitting nonsense before yelling at them to go away. The only people Sozo will talk to are people that give Sozo what he wants, which is menticide mushrooms! If you do that for him he will talk your ear off with nonsense, in conversations with him he will often talk about his followers, them being liars and disgusting little creatures. One day though Sozo’s personality seems to change? He starts to tell the lamb,

 “Sozo was just here, all alone, thinking about mushrooms... Uh, Sozo means Sozo's little Mushroomo followers!”

”Yes,, they must be so lost without Sozo. They love Sozo! Everyone loves Sozo - especially Lamb!”

“Without their great and beloved Sozo, Mushroomos must be so scared... YOU! You must save them! Save them and bring them to Sozo.”

”They will be trapped in Anura. They are always getting captured when they don't have their great Sozo to protect them. Rescue them and bring them to me.”

But when you bring the followers to Sozo he ends up eating them. At first glance you can assume it's just his addiction, in which it most certainly could be! He sees a big mushroom and he's like oooo~ delicious but there's also a possibility of this being Dr. Sozonius’s anger coming out. The whole fighting against the mushroom crown’s influence and realization that he’s been tricked. Maybe a mix of his addiction and anger for what they did to him? I’m not too sure if Sozo eating the Mushroomos was a problem before he joined the cult.

Of course, this addiction must be stopped so the lamb decides enough is enough and refuses to get more Mushroomos. This causes Sozo to dissent and, with little choice, the Lamb has to put him in rehab. I imagine it would’ve been a struggle getting Sozo to the prison without the Red Crown’s help. With the power of an ant that is Sozo’s size it's a miracle he didnt break that pillory while he was in it. Sozo just stayed silent and didn't fight; the person he had put his trust and hope in has imprisoned him. Sozo is a bit depressed at that moment. 

After Sozo has been re-educated, released, and cured of his addiction the mushroom crown finally falls off his head. Which, like I said before, makes me wonder, was it being powered by the menticide mushrooms Sozo has been eating or is it something else?

But Dr. Sozonius talks about some stuff before saying,

Dr. Sozonius Dialogue “I can’t help but feel that I have you to thank for… something. You have my loyalty, I will remain here and serve you. Please, take this!”

Sozonius was ready to live his life rather than reunite with his family in the afterlife. He wasn't expecting to be resurrected after dying in the cult from old age. But Sozonius gave the lamb their loyalty and promised to stay in the cult and serve them. The Lamb had been so kind as to give Sozonius an immortality necklace, the Lamb didn’t want Sozonius to go yet… and Sozo’s heart was too kind and soft. He will have to wait a bit longer to return home to his family, but maybe some good things will come out of staying longer~

Also! Who do we think Sozo was talking to? 

A Mushroomo Dialogue "Who is Sozo talking to when he whispers in the dark...?"

Is he talking to himself? The mushrooms? Or the Fox?

[jackattack20writes]

As much as I love the reading of Bleach’s ending as a tragedy, one thing’s always bugged me about it and it’s why Renji has a happy ending. Like out of the core cast (in my eyes this is Ichigo, Rukia, Orihime, Chad, Uryuu, Renji & maybe Byakuya, just cause they’re most consistently prominent in the arcs) he!s the only one that doesn’t have the easy argument that he’s settled or unhappy with the epilogue, like Ichigo & Rukia you can argue their with people that aren’t who they love, Uryuu is a doctor and alone while his friends celebrate, Chad is using his fists for profit, Orihime is still at the bakery and never got to live the dreams she had (also she was probably kicked out of home at post high school because her aunt housing her was dependant on her grades) and Byakuya is tied with Rukia being unhappy.

But Renji is seemingly the happiest he’s ever been, he’s married the woman he’s spent over 80 years crushing on and he has a kid with her. But then it hit me the other day that’s exactly why his ending is one of the worst out of the characters I’ve mentioned. When Renji actually gains some detail as a character we find out he has one major goal in life, surpass Byakuya and save Rukia from the Kuchiki’s (slight paraphrasing). But Renji never manages any of it. He fails to both save Rukia and defeat Byakuya in the Soul Society arc, firstly because he’s too scared to try to go against them and then because he’s too weak (both these goals are also largely dropped here and Renji just kind of floats along as one of Ichigo’s multiple rivals and has no more character growth or change) but Ichigo achieves both of these goals rather easily in comparison. Ichigo unlocks Bankai ridiculously faster than Renji does and then defeats Byakuya and saves Rukia.

Meaning there’s nothing left for Renji to do. Sure he could continue trying to conquer Byakuya, but he never seems to reach his level (especially going by the fact Renji’s still his vice captain in the epilogue.) Byakuya is still the star Renji can’t reach. Same with Rukia, sure he marries her but she’s still Rukia Kuchiki. Hell she’s even a captain now while Renji is still a vice captain, not only is Rukia still as far from him as she was in the soul society arc she’s even further away, he’s just the stray dog barking at the moon he called himself back in the soul society arc. But then just like his goals if you compare it to Ichigo, ichigo does it. Ichigo’s symbolism is the rain is dried by the white moon, the moon is reachable by Ichigo, we’re shown one of Byakuya’s central beliefs of who he is loyalty to Ichigo. But Renji is trapped on earth seperate, never truly reaching the star or the moon.

And with how we’re shown Renji thinks about himself he’d never let himself forget it. Every member of his immediate family other than his daughter is someone he’s separated himself from in his mind and since we never get shown anything to indicate that changes, Occam’s razor suggests it doesn’t. Somthat’s renji’s tragedy in the ending. His entire life is reminding him every goal he ever set he not only failed but someone else achieved. That’s the tragedy of Renji’s ending and really is the final nail in the coffin that no one is truly happy or anything past content in Bleach’s ending.

[thesuntookgoodcareofme]

Been seeing a lot of discussion on rgu and race(and racism) recently which I think it's great. I plan to do a coherent little analisys on it some (not near) time, but for now, there's this thing that has been on my brain since my first watch;

About Akio, that has all control overs Ohtori being a brown man, and Anthy being the sufferer of all oppression not only for being a girl, but also clearly different in the academy for being brown (suffering with what can really be interpreted as racism, because of the constant sexualization, objectification and villifying of her). It's a contrast between the two siblings that has to do i'd say with the inherent links of types of prejudice: misoginy, racism, transphobia, homophobia, ableism go ideologically and systemically hand in hand.

Anthy is a brown girl that endured the thousand swords of humanitys hatred, prejudice. She carries with herself the open wound of all the girls under patriarchy, but not just this, she is vulnerable. A trafficked brown queer teenage girl victim of systemical abuse. And although the anime 'focus' its themes on gender, still, we can clearly pick up on multiple adding interpretations of Anthy as the representation of girls of marginalized groups.

Akio is not vulnerable, as he is an adult, an authority figure, the patriarch (and almost its god, when he paints himself as Dios) of ohtoris system, the academys Headmaster. But he is a brown man that, as we know, is also a marginalized group. And Akio, despite his positions as both teorically Dios and symbolically Lucifer, is also inserted in his own system. He is not the owner of Ohtori, and pardon me if I mix up the titles and positions names i'm vry tired, he's being a substitute to the actual guy, Kanaes father. So, even in this position so high of authority, we can see that even he has to play his own game and fall beneath someone with more power than him. Because that's how hierarchies and patriarchy works. And it makes me remember of when we see his and Anthys backstories:

So now, the part I've been thinking about since ever:

The place where Anthy and Akio stay is a wooden cabin with hay, which is similar to the ones that were built in america in the beggining of colonization. I apologize deeply, but I forgot about the name of the structure and the name of the article that discussed Anthy being brown, but I'll link it if I find it again. Anthy wears this very humble red cloth, that is indubtly more simple than Dios and the peoples clothing. It shows the beggining of ostracization. Dios clothing is white and similar to a tuxedo like the crowd is wearing, and anthys is red just like the rosebride dress.

For me, that seems to show us how the man and woman gender hierarchy is a colonizer idea.

Anthy dresses in a piece of cloth of the same colour of her bridal dress, because her as a brown girl is not a princess, not worth of value, a witch, and only valuable as an man serving object. And Akio, being now categorized as a man, even though he'a a child, dresses in a white tuxedo similar to the ones worn by grooms. He's higher in the hierarchy, but still used. And when Anthy helps her brother herself, despite being the lowest in the worlds hierarchy, the crowd attacks her and it consolidates the system that Akio knows dives fully into, as the master, but also not unharmed; at least from when he was a kid.

[you-were-alone-too]

although im LIVING for what seems to be confirmation of gay mike and the fact that the lyrics suggest that he wants will to confess to him first... (see exhibits a and b below)

if we assume that these lyrics are decently accurate to mike's arc in s5, then we'll see mike struggle a lot with communicating his feelings and that he hopes will makes the first move, but i don't think that necessarily means that's how it's going to happen.

mike tries and fails to communicate his true feelings to el multiple times throughout the show, and the few times that he does manage to tell her how he feels are usually based on impulse or because she's on the verge of death (and as we know, they're not necessarily his true feelings).

it's important for mike to be the one to confess to will, not only for his own emotional growth, but also to show the audience that will is the only person that he's able to be his true self with (both platonically and romantically). even though he's been able to successfully express his true feelings to will in the past, he's only been able to do so under the guise of friendship. but any time his feelings could possibly be misconstrued as romantic, we can see him acting similarly toward will like he does el: by pulling away, acting impulsively, or lashing out (like at the airport when he doesn't hug will, or at the roller rink when he says they're just friends. this is probably because mike is worried that treating will in the same way as he's expected to treat his girlfriend could be seem as romantic).

will has already done his part to try and communicate his feelings to mike. although he DID lie by saying the painting is from el, we know that mike is eventually going to realize that will lied, so will's true feelings will still be understood by mike in the end, regardless of will's intention to push him closer to el instead.

this now puts the ball in mike's court, leaving it up to him to be the one that has to confess to will. and i think that these lyrics do a great job of showcasing mike's struggle to communicate his true romantic feelings. he's so used to repressing himself and his interests and tries so hard to be "normal" that he wants someone else that isn't as scared of being different (or at least less scared than him) to do the hard part first.

so i think that mike has to be the one to clearly confess his feelings and put himself out there. this season is going to force him on a journey of emotional growth and self-acceptance. finally, mike is going to be the first one to step out of line and risk it all, even if he thinks he might be rejected. he's going to fully accept himself, not just the fact that he's d&d-loving nerd, but also that he's gay and in love with his best friend

[fallloverfic]

I always come back to this ENNEAD panel in S01E40 because it's so painful in so many ways: Seth being brutally honest and embarrassed, and you can tell how hurt he is by what he's learned about Anubis, Nephthys, and Osiris, and it comes back to this thing I love exploring in fiction, which is the idea that you can want better for the people you care about, and also know that their choice will hurt you, and be afraid for yourself/of that moment they make the inevitable choice, but also kind of want them to make that choice anyway because you really care about them and want what's best for them and want them to follow their hearts. This kind of... supportive, self-sacrificing thing mixed with self-esteem issues and/or self-loathing.

CW: references to child abuse, cannibalism, and late series spoilers

In S01E01, we're told a story about how Seth was made jealous of Osiris due to Sekhmet, then butchered Osiris, demanded Isis sleep with him, imprisoned her in a labyrinth when she refused, and then terrorized Egypt for hundreds of years. He's shown to be obnoxious and arrogant and thinks little of the other gods who don't stand up to him, "This is what gods are like after all, hmph."

In S01E02, we see an unknown boy (well if you read online you can see the family tree with Anubis' picture but if you read in the physical release or just skipped the tree, you don't know who he is) talking to Nephthys in a prison cell, begging her to leave Heliopolis, and eventually learn this is Anubis, son of Nephthys and Seth, and Anubis has a plan in mind. And he says, "Mother, I'm begging you!! Rid yourself of these lingering affections!! I'm telling you, the father we used to know no longer exists!!"

Nephthys insists otherwise.

There are hints here that Seth was, at least once and perhaps still, loved, deeply. That he was someone who wasn't as cruel as the weary butcher watching humans fight to death for entertainment that we're introduced to.

In S01E03, it's kind of unclear what Seth turns back to look at in the second to last panel, but we see him gazing behind him, and then a shot of Anubis' back as he gazes down at his spear, clearly not keeping Horus busy while Seth confronts Isis. It seems like Seth is seeing Anubis betray him (he thanks Anubis in S01E05).

In S01E04 we see Anubis looking upset about what he's done, which continues into S01E05, where we get a flashback of Seth hunting with a very small Anubis in his arms. This is presumably pre-the night of usurpation. Seth says to Anubis, "You want to become a god like me? What gave you that thought? The god of war is not a particularly respectable position to be in."

Anubis: "But Father, they told me that Egypt is a peaceful place because you protect Mother. Isn't that more than enough to be respected for?"

Seth: "...Sure. War is sometimes necessary when you need to protect your family, your land. However, you must not turn a blind eye to the manslaughter that happens within war. Only the water flowing through the lands of chaos has the right to deliver "death." Though if you escape the current and row yourself towards greed, in the end, the curse of those that have died innocent deaths will gather, and it will become your sword, destined to bestow death upon others. That's why my sword is the strongest of them all. Although that's also why it's the heaviest. You have no need to take upon yourself this burden. When you have your coming-of-age ceremony, this father of yours... ...hopes that you will become a god just like your mother."

His responsibility is a heavy one. One he doesn't want Anubis to bear. He's strong, but at a cost.

In S02E89, Horus, after learning about some of the difficulties Seth faced at war - watching human soldiers struggle and die, and the hard choices Seth had to make to help them (e.g., let them turn to cannibalism to survive, and sometimes cannibalizing their own troops) - and how that affected his own psyche - making him, for a time, not into eating food, and later simply being disinterested in it - asks, "Did you... ...actually not want to go to war?"

And Seth stares at him, and then looks like this:

Seth: "I didn't have a choice. It was just my duty... I had to protect Egypt, so I did."

When Horus asks about jealousy, about Seth's siblings living at home in luxury while Seth suffered, Seth notes, "We all had so many of our own things to do." He calls Osiris' job the most important, because humans needed a stable food supply. He even jokingly notes what Osiris was doing might be considered harder, at least in comparison to fighting a war.

And he seemingly thought of leaving Egypt, but didn't feel like he could.

What we also generally get from the story is Seth is very proud of his abilities, and doesn't like being protected or at least seen as weak. The doubt Osiris put in him was about his own abilities: in S01E35, Sekhmet notes that, "Seth unconsciously believed that he himself was weak . . . Osiris imprinted a sense of weakness upon Egypt's most formidable soldier." Seth frequently grows furious whenever his competence is thrown into question, whether it's other people protecting him, or other people beating him, because it makes him feel like he's weak.

Seth believes his role as a god of war is necessary, and that he is, in a lot of ways, good at it, and people who harm Egypt's peace should live in fear of him... but he doesn't respect it. He doesn't think it's noble or good, and even thinks it's repulsive (and as Seth explains, that's kind of the point of it, because the horror makes it more powerful). He tells Anubis not to emulate him or try to become like him: Anubis should become a god of peace like Nephthys. An actually respectable position. Seth spent thousands of years protecting Egypt this way, and he thinks it's not something anyone should strive for (S01E40).

In S01E38, he even tells Anubis to kill Seth if he wants Seth dead.

In S01E05, Seth beats up Anubis, badly, in front of Nephthys' cell, allegedly because of Anubis' betrayal. It's not clear how Anubis got there: if Seth brought him there so Nephthys would see it, if Anubis fled to Nephthys after the other gods confronted Seth, and Seth found him there, or what. All we know is Seth beat up Anubis while Nephthys (in an unlocked cell) watched, and she was visibly distressed by it, to the point of tears.

Whether Seth meant for her to see it or didn't plan it through or what is unclear.

In S01E69, Nephthys states, "Seth never imprisoned me, not once. The door of the prison cell was always kept open. I was the one who went into the prison of my own free will. All Seth did was neglect and ignore me. He never once committed any direct violence towards me."

She views this as punishment for her own acts. It seems like Seth avoided her through most of the time since he discovered parts of the truth of her actions from Sekhmet and Nephthys herself before Osiris killed himself. It's entirely possible Seth didn't even appear before her until just before the trial, when he attacked Anubis in front of her. He might have visited her more often, but the possibility he just stayed away from her is also there, if only out of his own pain at her apparent rejection of him in favor of Osiris. Perhaps the last time he even touched her was in the flashback in S01E35, after she walks in on Sekhmet talking with Seth, and he seems to grab her briefly - when she admits Anubis is Osiris' son (S01E40) - before turning away and going after Osiris (S01E35).

In S01E40, Seth accuses Osiris of coveting Nephthys, and going behind Seth's back to steal her. He insists Osiris is to blame, not Nephthys.

Until Osiris states that Nephthys had the idea to come to Osiris and ask for help having a baby with Seth, because she and Seth had trouble conceiving, and (Nephthys claimed) Seth wanted a child.

It's not clear what of the many things Osiris is talking about Seth is referencing, but Seth thinks after hearing this, "It was my fault?" It kind of seems like Seth is blaming himself for Nephthys going to Osiris, though.

As Seth begins to accept all this, he grows increasingly visibly upset as he notes she did this without discussing it with him. As Seth grows increasingly honest about his thoughts, he finally says, "I was scared... I was afraid of being forgotten by [Nephthys and Anubis]."

He elaborates in S01E41, "I always just acted angry so that I wouldn't have to hear what she had to say. She was probably afraid of things ending up this way". He imagines she was scared of his reaction. Scared of him. But he had fears about this even before he got confirmation, to the point he was purposefully ruining their relationship to avoid getting that confirmation.

This is on top of Osiris encouraging Seth's self-doubt about Seth's capabilities, insisting that Seth's merits are due to Osiris, "If I hadn't made you the god of war and the desert, she would've never chosen you to be her husband. Peace may only be bestowed upon those that are strong." (S01E35). Seth even wonders if his being properly acknowledged as king of Egypt might make Nephthys finally acknowledge him, and that "Only the strongest one can achieve what I want." (S01E58).

Seth cut himself off from Nephthys, even before he learns about Anubis' biological father, but more so afterward. Part of this is shame, as he thinks in S01E71, "Nephthys must not learn the truth! She won't see me as a man anymore. She'll find me repulsive!" Part of it is the doubt Osiris planted in him. Part of it is seemingly the distaste he imagines other people, including Nephthys, should have over his abilities and position.

In sum, even when Seth hates Osiris the most, he believes Osiris' role is more important to Egypt. He believes Osiris is more powerful. He believes his own role is not respectable. He believes the woman he loves is better off without him and wouldn't want him. And Seth believes his son is better off emulating people who are not Seth. He wants them to do what's best for them, which involves ignoring him completely and moving on. He even tells Anubis to kill Seth if that's what he wants.

And he's terrified of it, too. Because as we see in S01E40 and S01E61, he still loves Anubis. He was so happy when Anubis was born ("The happiness I felt when I first held Anubis in my arms" S01E40). He's okay with Anubis hating him, so long as Anubis still stays his son. He says, "I'm sorry. You must've been in so much pain. You must've been so scared. It's all my fault. . . . You can hate me all you like. You don't need to forgive me. So please don't cast me aside. You're all I need."

This is hearkening back to S01E40, where Seth kept fastening on to the concept that Anubis is Osiris' son, and Osiris even reminds him, "The one who gave Anubis his name, and the one whom Anubis calls his father, is you." No matter what, Seth is Anubis' father.

But the doubt is already there, even before Osiris makes it worse. The shame. Seth already told Anubis not to emulate him by this point. He was already rejecting Nephthys before he learned the truth from Sekhmet and Nephthys, and he still cared about her and her high opinion, even during the sentencing, after he's ignored her for hundreds of years.

In S02E69, Horus claims that the eye of truth showed him something in Seth's soul, in similar words to what Seth said to Horus in Khemmis, and that this is related to Seth's awakening as a god, which he'd forgotten, because that's what happens when you awaken as a god (though Seth, Nephthys, and Isis are unaware of this). The teardrop says repeatedly, "forget our . . . ared what w . . . want to go bac . . . [w]ant him to dis[a] . . . stay by my sid . . . [r]emain as a child . . . he becomes a god . . . [c]an't leave me he can . . . let him become a go[d] . . . he becomes a god . . . [he]'ll forget our past . . . scared what will I d[o] . . . want to go back".

This is actually pretty similar to what he verbalizes to Horus in Khemmis, but I also recall when Anubis says in S02E31, "Just as all gods do, I instinctively know who sired me." It's unclear if Seth knows this is a thing or what, but the sentencing where Anubis learns Osiris is his biological father was after Seth showing his fears to Horus at Khemmis, so Anubis hadn't learned at the time. It seems to me like Seth's specific fear is Anubis learning his true parentage. Whether or not that's instinctive when you become a god isn't even that important, because Anubis might learn just by revealing his powers and changing his body to his godly form, because it seems like gods emulate their parents to some degree (or at least the possibility is there).

To elaborate, Seth didn't know what kind of god Anubis would become when he ascends (as shown in S01E05, he hoped Anubis would emulate his mother). In S02E29-30, he seems a mix of happy, surprised, and angry about Anubis' godly form. He thinks, with a sad smile, "So this is what you look like... . . . This is how you look as a god..." (S02E29) and then gets angry, noting, "Why are you dragging around dead bodies...? . . . You were born so beautiful, so you should have been like your mother! Why... ...are you wearing that silly mask...?"

This is possibly recalling Seth's comments in S01E05 about his own connection with death and his wish that Anubis doesn't have to do something so repulsive, and Seth's wish that, of his parents (Nephthys and Seth), Anubis instead emulates Nephthys, who doesn't do that. His comments about Anubis' mask, "Even your mask looks like mine! It's proof that you subconsciously remember me!" (S02E31) is also pointing out the connection between them, a connection Seth made back in S02E12, when he recalled the similarities in the unknown god's fighting skills and Anubis' abilities, as well as when Seth made Anubis a sand sha mask. He doesn't like the signs of Anubis emulating him at all, even in the slightest.

The general point again being, Seth had no idea what Anubis was going to look like as a god before he saw it in person. But I imagine he was simultaneously hopeful Anubis would emulate Nephthys but also afraid that not only would Anubis not emulate Seth at all - ignoring their connection - but also afraid Anubis would emulate both his biological parents, particularly Osiris. Perhaps that's how he would discover Osiris is his biological father. There's just a lot of ways becoming a god would show him the truth, and then things would be over between Anubis and Seth.

Because Anubis would learn Osiris, a god doing something respected like managing agriculture, is his biological father. Osiris, a powerful god who claims to be responsible for Seth's merits, which is a deep part of Seth's doubts about his own abilities (confirming that Seth is indeed lesser). Osiris, whom even Nephthys seemingly fell in love with, and maybe always loved (Seth doesn't know about the mirror, this is his anxiety, self-esteem issues, and Osiris' lies praying on his mind).

Seth in Khemmis is afraid Anubis will learn Osiris is Anubis' biological father or "real" father (at least in accordance with Seth's insistence that Anubis is Osiris' child) and abandon Seth for Osiris. Because, despite everything they had as a loving father and son, Osiris is the "better" choice. Why wouldn't Anubis do that? Even some part of Seth understands it. Seth views himself as so lacking that he thinks Anubis would discard their past together and easily pick the "better" option of Osiris.

He understands the reasoning.

But Seth is terrified, too. He loves Anubis. He loves being Anubis' father. He doesn't want to lose Anubis even as he wants Anubis to be happy and do as Anubis pleases. He's afraid of what that break will do to him. And we see the result: he cries and screams in S02E30, claiming their promise - which Anubis has forgotten - is all Seth has, and Anubis the "the only reason I have to live!". In S02E31 he grows upset about Anubis forgetting him, and cries more. He cries again about Anubis forgetting their promise in S02E64. He cries about Anubis being in Osiris' clutches again in S02E68. This is on top of Seth's fear that if Anubis goes to Osiris, Osiris will hurt Anubis more, after Osiris callously nearly killed Anubis as fodder for the child Osiris planned to have with Seth during the night of usurpation, and again after learning Osiris was using Anubis as a puppet during the trial, allowing Anubis to take Seth's attacks in Osiris' place. In S02E68, Seth screams about his fears of Anubis being hurt by Osiris, "You saw me kiss him! And for that Osiris sewed his lips shut and turned him into an idiot!! . . . What if he gets hurt again because of me?!"

He doesn't want Anubis to emulate him, but he's afraid of Anubis not doing that because it will be Anubis rejecting him. He doesn't want Nephthys to tell him she didn't love him, that Anubis wasn't his (biological) child, but he felt it was inevitable, because how could he have a beautiful child? How could she love someone like him? But also he loves her, so he doesn't want her to reject him, either. Not only because he just loved her, but also because he doesn't want her rejection to show he's unworthy as a man or as a person.

He loves them both, but he started removing himself from their lives long before the night of usurpation. He made himself a monster, in large part to push them away before they rejected him, as a form of self-protection. He never wanted Nephthys to tell him Anubis wasn't his (biological) son (S01E40). He never wanted to have to fully accept the gravity of that statement.

Sometimes the things we have to accept about people are hard, and hurt us. And we have to accept them anyway, but the fear is there, too.

He's so caught between wanting them to do what's best for them, and wanting to remove himself from ruining them both, and his own fears of them leaving him. He does what he has to, not necessarily because he wants to, and this, he feels, he has to. He's full of self-loathing and the capacity for affection that he hides out of shame, pain, and a sense of duty. It's so sad.

On the other hand, I do think there's hope in that. Seth's duty does define him in a lot of ways, many of which are unfortunate, but not all. It's when Seth abandons protecting Egypt and turns to sabotaging it, making its gods cower, killing its people, destroying the land, that he really loses it all. But with how the story is going, he's actively worried about the country's stability: he actually criticizes and instructs Horus about being mindful of managing Egypt and being wary of Ra (and Hathor) in S02E88, not to mention the numerous times he's noted Horus should be helping Isis run the country. FG's offer to fight a war against Egypt for Seth infuriated Seth, and seemingly activated his protective instincts over the country: "How dare you bring up war in front of me, when I spent thousands of years protecting Egypt?" (S02E48). I honestly think FG's presence is largely to make Seth look to protecting Egypt's borders again, and being more aware of other nations and how Egypt will work with and against them. And Horus is there to remind Seth of his being a guardian god (S02E74). Anubis' plight has made him actively care about the state of Duat (S02E68). While being around Horus is making him question his own thoughts about his role and the choices he makes, and uncovering things even he didn't know (e.g., the letters he and Isis exchanged in the flashback in S02E69, or what's up with the Ogdoad). He's learning what he cares about again, rather than drowning in self-pity and hatred, and Horus in particular makes him think about the stuff he enjoys best, including being a guardian and not panicking so much.

A deep part of why Horus/Seth works as a pairing is because Seth believes he is strong but unlovable and perhaps not as strong as he thinks he is due to self-doubt, while the people around him deserve better, while Horus believes Seth is strong, lovable, and worth of protection because of how fragile Seth can be in many ways. They both have different wisdom and can see flaws the other one has, and point them out for future improvement, and, on some level, respect each other (for all Seth's many derogatory comments, he respects Horus, for example, when he tries to impress Horus at the fight at Isis' temple in S02E53). And Horus sees him, in a way other people don't, even if Horus isn't always right about it. But unlike other characters, he's willing to learn. Whereas Horus really does need guidance about being a strong ruler.

I also think that there's hope for reconciliation with Nephthys and Anubis. Certainly Seth is fighting to keep his relationship with Anubis good, and with Nephthys having her feelings changed by the mirror, perhaps with Isis' help, they can restore her, and Nephthys can continue her own healing journey. Perhaps she and Seth will start a new friendship. Even if it never happens, I think they both have developed and will develop enough to maybe meet as siblings again one day, working together peacefully. I doubt it'll be more than that, but it's more than they have now.

Seth's story is still sad and I imagine we're going to learn more as the story progresses, but there's a lot of hope, too.

[alaynestcnes]

…many thoughts abt this asos passage.

like we have jon once again imagining getting frisky in the godswood. his obsession with the godswood/hot pools and his voyeur/sacrilege kink are literally confirmed….love this little freak. but not only that, we have the inclusion of him refusing his desires (kissing ygritte) because of his father watching - manifesting as a face on a weirwood - literally the manifestation of jon’s shame and guilt about his feelings and what his father would think.

and then this shame and denial of his desires is followed by the reasons for his guilt; he was the blood of winterfell. it’s strange to me that this reason is placed before being a man of the night’s watch, when that is the actual oath he broke for ygritte. not to mention that specific blood of winterfell term being used, when jon and sansa are the only starks to refer to themselves this way. it would have had the same meaning if grrm used ‘he was a stark’/‘he was eddard stark’s son’. but instead, he chose the term that links jon and sansa.

then we have the classic you know nothing, jon snow. this is ygritte’s catchphrase, so it’s clear why it’s included in his drugged out dream abt ygritte but we do see this phrase connected with sansa in his recollection before he dies…it’s strange how easily it can be used as a thread to link ygritte to sansa. interesting that there are two links that could be made to sansa here. (and i knowww the antis are going to accuse me of sTeALiNg CoNtEnT but that’s literally not possible, none of the content exists in a ship-only vacuum and content can have multiple meanings for multiple charas/used as textual tools to link events/charas/themes. like if an argument can be made that a link is exists, then everyone has the right to make the argument 🙄).

mayhaps i am delulu but we know grrms lovessss his breadcrumbs and alluding to future events/layering multiple meanings into his dream sequences. the veil covering this passage of jon’s desires that shame him, make him think of his father’s disapproval, specifically linked to him being blood of winterfell…yeah…i wonder what sort of future desires and events grrm could be alluding to that might lead to similar feelings….

[takami-takami]

My headcanon about Hawks is that the same duality that exists in his personality exists in bed.

Like we all know Keigo is a good person, a good boy. We know he feels strongly, we know he's empathetic and kind and observant. But we also know he's willing to do things most people would be unwilling to do, that his actions are painted shades of moral grey.

We know he's sweet and a bit of a tease, he's passionate and optimistic. But he's also incredibly, terrifyingly serious at his core.

He's indulgent and gluttonous with his little allowances like food and sweets, yet selfless and self sacrificing to a fault. He claims to not have self control when it comes to what he wants, yet continuously denies himself the slowness and domestic life he admits to craving.

So. He loves his partner dearly, holds you like glass and treats your feelings with an innocent reverence twice as so. He wants it slow, wants it sweet, wants to cement every ounce of love he has in it.

But those wants aren't going to stop him from devouring you.

It won't stop the carnal desires from welling up, won't make his instincts to take and toy and play with you go away.

Yeah, you're his darling partner for life, his cherished love.

But you're still his chewtoy.

[alienssstufff]

q!dapduo parallels in how they handle grief so INTERESTING I LOVE IT (I hate it. I wish they were still alive).

We got q!Slime who while yes he did threaten the lives of others, ultimately and interestingly he never blamed anyone else except himself (and his wife). Slime destroys because he is upset at himself.

Then we got q!Quackity who even if he doesn’t physically lash out or go on a rampage like q!Slime did, he pins the blame on everyone else and to this day is plotting to kill the dude for revenge - Quackity destroys because he’s upset at the world (and even more himself too, but he has not comes to terms with that yet)