#lots of bittersweet emotions going around rn

[vi-enti]

i’m filled with so much joy and love for my friends right now and i can’t believe in a few days i’ll rarely or never see some of them again

[honeyhae-svt]

🍪last christmas - y. jeonghan☕

y. jeonghan x gn!reader

december with seventeen ! 2/13 tags: jeonghan x reader, jeonghan fluff, seventeen fanfiction, holiday au, ex au, christmas love story, fluff, bittersweet love, exes to lovers(?), happy ending, romance, reader insert, cozy vibes. kisses (mwuah) genre: romance, fluff, christmas, holiday au, slice of life, really mild angst warnings: none (it’s pretty wholesome, so unless you have themes of anxiety or past trauma you have with past relationships, there should be no need for any major warnings) wc: 3050 (xp) a/n: 2/13 ! 11 to go =] PLAY LAST CHRISTMAS BY ARIANA GRANDE (her ver.) RN !

the festive glow of the christmas market wrapped around you like a warm hug, but tonight, the warmth felt bittersweet. the familiar stalls with twinkling lights and the scent of cinnamon in the air stirred memories you had tried to bury for the past year.

walking through the bustling crowd, you hadn’t expected to see him again. yet there he was, standing at a gingerbread stall, his profile illuminated by the golden light of a nearby lantern. jeonghan.

he looked the same and yet… not. his long coat flared slightly with the evening breeze, and his hair fell in soft waves, framing his face perfectly. for a moment, you froze, unsure whether to approach or slip away unnoticed. but as if he could sense you, his gaze shifted, locking onto yours.

“y/n,” he said, his voice carrying easily over the noise of the crowd. there was no mistaking the surprise—and something softer—in his tone.

you managed a polite smile, your heart doing an unwelcome flip. “hey, jeonghan.”

“it’s been a while,” he said, his lips curving into a small smile as he stepped closer. “how have you been?”

“good,” you replied curtly, though the word felt hollow. “you?”

“better now,” he said smoothly, and you could’ve sworn his eyes sparkled with mischief, just like they used to. “how’s your sweet tooth holding up?”

your brows furrowed, and then he nodded toward the gingerbread stall. “remember how you used to drag me here for those cookies?” he asked, his smile widening at your obvious surprise. “they still sell them, you know.”

“you remember that?” you asked, the words slipping out before you could stop them.

he laughed softly, a sound that felt like a warm breeze in the cold air. “of course i do. i remember a lot of things.”

the weight of his words hung between you, and for a moment, you both stood there, caught in the push and pull of shared history.

“want one?” he asked, gesturing to the stall. “my treat.”

against your better judgment, you found yourself nodding.

minutes later, the two of you were wandering through the market together, gingerbread cookies in hand. the conversation was light at first, filled with comments about the stalls and the crisp winter air. but every so often, his gaze would linger on you a moment too long, and you’d feel the familiar tug of emotions you thought you’d moved past.

when you stopped at a stall selling handcrafted trinkets, your breath hitched. this was the same stall where jeonghan had bought you a small snow globe last year—a delicate thing with a tiny couple standing under a snow-laden tree. you still had it, tucked away in a drawer because you couldn’t bring yourself to throw it out.

“y/n,” he said softly, pulling you out of your thoughts. “wait here for a second.”

before you could respond, he’d slipped away to speak with the vendor. moments later, he returned, holding a small box wrapped in festive paper.

“what’s this?” you asked, narrowing your eyes.

“just open it,” he said, his smile soft and almost… shy?

you hesitated but eventually unwrapped the box. inside was a tiny ornament—a snowflake carved out of wood, intricate and beautiful. your chest tightened as you realized it was from the same vendor who had made the snow globe.

“i saw it and thought of you,” jeonghan said, his voice quiet. “you used to love snowflakes, remember?”

“i… yeah, i do,” you murmured, running your fingers over the smooth edges of the ornament.

“i know i messed up last year,” he said suddenly, his tone turning serious. “but i’ve been thinking a lot about us, about what went wrong. and if there’s even a small chance you’d let me make it up to you, i’d take it.”

you stared at him, his words leaving you momentarily speechless. the market buzzed around you, a blur of lights and laughter, but all you could focus on was him—the sincerity in his eyes, the vulnerability in his posture.

“it’s not that simple, jeonghan,” you finally said, your voice barely above a whisper. “we can’t just pick up where we left off.”

“i know,” he said, nodding. “i’m not asking for that. but maybe… we could start fresh? as friends, even. just… give me a chance to prove that i’ve changed.”

his words hung in the air, and for the first time in a long while, you felt a flicker of hope—small and fragile, but there.

“we’ll see,” you said cautiously, though a small smile tugged at your lips.

jeonghan’s face lit up, and he reached out, gently brushing a strand of hair from your face. “that’s all i’m asking for.”

as the snow began to fall softly around you, the festive glow of the market grew even more magical, with each snowflake dancing in the air before settling on the ground. the cold, however, was beginning to bite, and you shivered slightly, rubbing your hands together for warmth.

jeonghan, noticing your discomfort, glanced down at you before shrugging off his long coat. "here," he said, draping it over your shoulders before you could protest. despite the warmth of his coat, you could feel the chill on his face, his breath visible in the cold night air.

"you'll freeze," you pointed out, though you couldn't deny how nice it felt to have something warm around you.

he smiled, though there was a slight tremble in his voice. "i'm fine. i've survived worse."

the two of you continued walking, your steps crunching in the snow, your arms brushing occasionally as you moved together through the market. you glanced over at jeonghan, but he seemed lost in thought, his gaze far off, distant. you weren’t sure what to make of the silence between you two—whether it was comfortable or uncomfortable—but before you could dwell on it, you felt his hand brush yours again. this time, it lingered for a split second, just enough for a jolt of warmth to shoot through your fingers.

your heart skipped, and you looked up to see him looking at you, his eyes momentarily soft. he cleared his throat, breaking the spell. "cold, huh?" he muttered.

"just a bit," you replied, your breath puffing in the air.

you continued walking, but there was a newfound tension between you, something unspoken but palpable. the moment lingered, filling the air with a subtle kind of anticipation.

when you reached a hot cocoa stand, jeonghan stopped in front of it, his hand reaching for his wallet. "hot chocolate?" he asked, voice light again, as if the brief moment of vulnerability had never happened. you nodded, though you couldn't shake the feeling that he was trying to keep things casual.

"let me at least be useful for once," he said with a small chuckle as he handed over the money, his eyes still carrying that same mixture of humor and regret.

you raised an eyebrow. "you're always useful," you teased, though the joke felt strangely hollow in the moment.

he smiled at you, but there was something wistful in the way his lips curled. he handed you your cocoa, and you both stood there for a moment, sipping in comfortable silence, the snow continuing to fall around you like soft whispers of the past.

as you both stood there, the cold seemed to settle deeper, the warmth of the cocoa barely enough to chase it away. your eyes flicked to jeonghan, who was rubbing his hands together to warm them up. without thinking, you reached for your scarf, unraveling it from your neck and holding it up between you.

"here," you said softly, your fingers brushing his as you pulled him closer, wrapping the scarf around his neck. his breath caught for a moment as you tugged him gently toward you, your fingers grazing the soft fabric of his coat as you adjusted the scarf to fit snugly.

jeonghan's eyes widened, a flicker of surprise flashing across his face, but it quickly softened into something more tender. "you sure?" he asked, his voice low, almost shy.

"yeah," you replied, your voice barely a whisper as you let the scarf rest around him. you couldn't help but notice how close he was now, his warmth mixing with yours in the cold night air. his breath mingled with yours, and for a heartbeat, the world seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of you.

he smiled, his eyes softening as he met your gaze. "thank you," he murmured, the words carrying more weight than they should.

you swallowed, trying to ignore the flutter in your chest. "no problem," you said, voice barely steady as you pulled away, but not too far. "just... don’t freeze, okay?"

he chuckled, the sound quiet but full of something unspoken. "i’ll be fine with you looking out for me."

you both fell into a comfortable silence, walking through the market side by side, the scarf between you like a quiet promise.

as you two wandered further into the market, the atmosphere seemed to shift—quieter, more intimate. the noise of the crowd faded, replaced by the soft crunch of snow beneath your feet and the gentle hum of christmas songs playing from a nearby speaker. the air felt different here, as if the world had narrowed down to just the two of you.

you found yourself under a canopy of twinkling christmas lights, their soft glow reflecting off the snow and casting a warm, golden hue around you. everything felt more magical in the moment, as though the lights were pulling you closer together.

you looked up at the lights, your heart beating a little faster, when you felt his fingers brush against yours. at first, it was a simple, fleeting touch, but then his hand lingered, and he gave a gentle tug, silently asking for you to hold his hand.

your breath hitched, your pulse quickening as you turned to meet his gaze. his eyes were soft, but there was something deeper there—something almost unreadable, like he was waiting for you to make the next move. his fingers curled around yours, steady and sure this time, as if he was no longer afraid of what this moment might mean.

you didn't pull away. instead, you let the warmth of his hand seep into yours, your heart fluttering in your chest. the world seemed to hold its breath as you both stood there, a thousand unspoken words hanging in the air between you.

"y/n," he said softly, his voice low, as if he was testing the weight of your name on his lips again. "this... this feels different."

you nodded slowly, not trusting your voice, but the feeling in your chest told you everything you needed to know. this was different. this moment, under the soft glow of the lights, was something new. something more than what it had been before.

he squeezed your hand gently, as if reassuring himself that this was real. "i'm not asking for much," he continued, his words soft but filled with sincerity. "just... just a chance to make it right."

you let out a breath you hadn't realized you were holding. the world felt small, just the two of you, and for a moment, you wondered if maybe—just maybe—this was the start of something different.

you didn’t pull away, didn’t say anything more. you just held his hand, the connection between you both deepening in the silence that followed.

as you both continued strolling through the market, the twinkling lights overhead creating a soft glow around you, a new sense of ease seemed to settle between you. the tension from earlier, while still lingering, melted away with every laugh and playful comment shared between you two.

you stopped in front of a stall selling christmas hats, each one more ridiculous than the last. jeonghan picked up a red reindeer antler headband and placed it on your head with a dramatic flourish.

“perfect,” he said with a grin, stepping back to admire his handiwork. “now you’re ready for the holiday season.”

you rolled your eyes, but the warmth in your chest couldn't be ignored. you swatted playfully at him. “you look ridiculous,” you teased, picking up a matching pair of antlers for yourself.

“i look festive,” he shot back, adjusting the antlers on his head like a crown.

you both burst into laughter, your giggles mixing with the sounds of the market. it felt so easy, so light, like the weight of the past year had been temporarily forgotten under the glow of the christmas lights.

after a moment, you wandered over to a stall selling tiny christmas trees, each one covered in glitter and tinsel. jeonghan picked up a small tree and handed it to you with a wink. "for you," he said, voice filled with mischief.

"seriously?" you asked, raising an eyebrow, but your heart melted a little at his thoughtfulness.

"it’s a little tacky," he admitted, "but i think it suits you."

you rolled your eyes but couldn't help the smile that tugged at your lips. "you really know how to pick gifts," you teased, cradling the tree carefully as if it was precious.

he shrugged with a grin. "i try." then, without missing a beat, he leaned in and placed a soft kiss on your cheek. "merry christmas, y/n."

your heart fluttered at the unexpected gesture, and you laughed, a bit flustered. "you’re gonna make me sick with all this sweetness, jeonghan."

"that’s the point," he said, smiling that trademark mischievous smile you couldn’t help but fall for.

as the night grew colder, the two of you found your way to a hot cocoa stand, where jeonghan insisted on paying again. "this is the last one, i swear," he said, handing over the money with exaggerated seriousness.

"i’ll hold you to that," you teased, accepting the warm cup he offered.

as you walked together, sipping your cocoa and watching the snow fall gently around you, it felt like time slowed down. there was something magical about the night—the way his hand brushed against yours again, the way the air was thick with the scent of pine and cinnamon, the way you felt so incredibly... content.

eventually, the two of you found yourselves standing outside your apartment building, the night winding down but neither of you quite ready to let go just yet. the lights from the building cast a soft glow on his face as he turned to you, still holding your hand.

“well,” he said, his voice soft, “this is it. i guess i’ll have to walk away from all this magic.”

you couldn’t help the small smile that crept onto your face. “you know, it wasn’t so bad, this whole christmas thing.”

he laughed, but there was a hint of sincerity in his eyes as he reached into his pocket. “i had a feeling you might say that.”

he pulled out the small ornament, the snowflake from earlier, and handed it to you with a soft smile. “maybe we can try again next christmas… or sooner,” he said, his words carrying a weight you hadn’t expected.

you blinked, your heart skipping. you hadn’t expected him to say something so vulnerable, so hopeful.

he stepped closer, his eyes searching yours, and for a moment, neither of you spoke. just as he leaned in, his lips brushing against yours with that familiar tenderness, you surprised him by closing the gap yourself, pressing your lips softly to his.

he froze for a moment, eyes wide with surprise, but then he kissed you back, slow and gentle, the warmth between you building with each passing second.

when you pulled away, your foreheads resting together, he smiled, his eyes filled with something that was almost shy. "i’m glad you decided sooner," he murmured.

you smiled, your heart lighter than it had been in so long. "me too."

“stay?” you invited him softly, the words slipping out before you could stop them. you noticed you were still wearing his jacket, the warmth of it oddly comforting, as if it was a silent invitation. you turned away slightly, a bit shy, as if giving him the space to decide, but your heart raced with hope.

“it’s christmas tomorrow,” you added quietly, your voice barely above a whisper, but the weight of it lingered in the crisp air between you.

jeonghan couldn't help but smile at that, his eyes softening as they met yours. “of course,” he said, his voice low and tender. without hesitation, he stepped closer, his fingers gently tilting your chin up, his touch warm and reassuring. then, as if there was no need for further words, he leaned down and kissed you again.

the kiss deepened, slow and sweet, a promise wrapped in the soft press of his lips against yours. you melted into him, his hand resting on your waist, pulling you closer as the world outside faded into the background. everything that had led up to this moment felt like it was meant to be. when he finally pulled away, you were breathless, cheeks flushed, and your heart pounding in your chest.

somehow, the two of you ended up on your couch, his back against the cushions with him sitting beneath you. you were straddling his lap, his arms around you, holding you close. the space between you was filled with warmth and tenderness, like you'd both found your place again.

your voice was small, a quiet murmur as you rested your head against his shoulder. “don’t give my heart away again the next day,” you whispered, the words familiar and haunting, taken from a song that had once felt like an echo of your past. last christmas i gave you my heart, but the very next day, you gave it away.

jeonghan chuckled softly at that, the sound warm and full of affection. he tilted your face up to look at him, his eyes full of sincerity. “i never gave it away,” he said softly, his voice filled with conviction. then, as if to make sure you knew exactly what he meant, he kissed you again, his lips pressing against yours with a tenderness that left you breathless.

when he pulled away, he kept his gaze on you, his hand resting gently on your cheek. “it’s still in my heart,” he whispered, his words like a promise.

you smiled, feeling the warmth of his words settle deep within you. maybe this christmas would be the start of something new—something real, something lasting.

you leaned in to kiss him again, this time with a sense of peace and certainty. you were home, and this time, you weren’t letting go.

a/n: 2/13 ! i update everyday on 10:30 am (our timezones might be different though :]

december with seventeen ! - masterlist

[pumpkinsy0]

You know what, screw it! Give me Sad two-Bit headcanons. A Two-Bit who hides from the gang for days perhaps weeks on end, who possibly goes on a bender. Dallas and Johnny’s death hitting him harder than expected.The days start to blur together for him at a certain point. No one knows where he’s at, because like Dallas when he doesn’t want to be found he won’t be.

Give me a A Darrel Curtis who hunts him down and try’s to help me through it. A Darrel Curtis who feels in part guilt, because Two-Bit and him were arguably the closest of the gang growing up but once his parents died their friendship while their was strained. A Darrel who helps two bit out and realize he’s hurting too and the two have a heart to heart.

give me a gun!!!please!!!!im begging u!!!

•i think what would like, REALLY set him off to go on this bender is him losing his switchblade, and its not bc he lost it exactly, its just the idea behind it, something he cherished is just gone now, along w dally and johnny, in a twisted way, he finds it a lil funny also

•nobody rlly did anything to help two bit (and steve but srry this aint bout him rn whoops), not bc they didnt notice him drinking more or anything, but bc pony took up their attention, and they didnt think two bit could break like that, they let anyone cope any way they could

•it started off small, with two bit not popping up some days then coming back like an outside cat, but then one day he just, didnt come back, and that automatically worried them, they already lost 2 and dont want a 3rd

•darry looks all around, and gets help from two’s mother, goes to bucks and where ever else two could b, they went to the cops but god knows how slow the cops r to help ppl like them

•but he does find him, stumbling around in the town next over, damn near tipping into walls and the garbage on the street, and darry just feels guilt, over not helping two when he needed help, he felt like he abandoned two when two helped him the most

•darry managed to get two in the car, saying if not for himself, then his mom and little sister

•darrys not good w emotions, so i dont think he’d think he knows what to say here, and they just drive in silence, but darry did stop at the store to get him some things to help w his hang over later

•he dropped two bit off and he felt bittersweet seeing how happy two mom got seeing him back, he always sees them jokingly argue with each other, so it was a nice change of pace, but it did make him think about his own mom a bit, their moms were always pretty good friends

•in two days time, darry goes back to twos hows to see how hes doing and they just, talk, a lot actually, darry left at like 10am and came back home in the afternoon, but its bc being back w two but there just made everything feel like it was ok again!!! its like when they were kids and darrys mom let him go over there again

•let them b good friends again,,,please,,,,,

[gayforrenee]

My ratings on how emotional some of my favorite EAH duos would make me if they played marbles (the thing from Squid Game!!!) (also I just kind of want to give everyone my take on how I think it would all happen and who would die)

Before I go any further, mb for just dipping on y'all. I just left the EAH fandom and then got back into it. And I actually HAVE started writing All I Want again (weird that it was so sudden but whatever)

This is from the least emotional (still cry-worthy fs tho) to the most emotional (literally screaming and sobbing). 1 and 2 are actually tied because I couldn't decide which was worse. I struggled rlly bad on some of these so just because I put one higher doesn't mean I wouldn't fucking lose my mind for the lower one

8. Daring/Rosabella

Y'all. I'm sorry. I do love them. Don't get me wrong. They're just at the bottom. They were actually the only duo that I was even close to being sure about. I genuinely like them and if they had to play, I would be shedding tears. I feel like a lot of people would instantly go for Rosabella because of her like savior type of attitude sometimes, but I'm gonna be fr with y'all. I think Daring would actually lose. I think he would find a way around letting her lose. I know he's made out to be selfish sm, but then in the last season he kind of has that redemption arc and I actually start to like him. I think that Rosabella would try to fool him into winning, but he would possibly see through her playing with him and end up ultimately losing. It would definitely be emotional, but I feel like he would take it bravely. That might not be quite the right word, but I can't think of another good one rn so whatever.

Survivor: Rosabella

7. Darling/Daring

I KNOW. COME AT ME. This one would definitely be rough. The first thing I thought of when I saw this was that Daring would try to be the brother in the situation. He would try to protect, but I think he would fail. Darling can do anything she puts her mind to, and if she really wanted herself to lose, she would make it happen. That's just the tea y'all. I feel like there would be a moment where it looks like Daring's going to lose, and then Darling swoops in and takes that spot right out from under him. I think he would be really hurt, and I think he would feel a lot of guilt afterwards because he let that happen to his sister. There's a possibility that it could be him instead of her, which would take the path of him acting like the brother and taking the fall for her, but I just feel like she would end up losing.

Survivor: Daring

6. Cupid/Blondie

People don't talk about this ship enough, so I'm going to. Anyway, I love them. I think they're adorable and would've made a great couple. Thinking about them playing the marble game makes me want to kms bc I think it would constantly be them going back and forth and trying to get the other to take their marbles. I think Blondie would eventually convince Cupid that she needs to lose and not Cupid, and despite Cupid trying to beg her not to, Blondie lets Cupid take her marbles and she loses. It would honestly be hard to watch even though I have it at six. I would for sure cry a lot, and it would be really heartfelt. They're both just so soft when you take away their sassy and sarcastic moments. One of my favorite underrated ships.

Survivor: Cupid

5. Holly/Poppy

Just want to say how much I love these two. I love their personalities and just everything about them. I do feel like both would try to save the other. Again, it would be a back and forth battle between who's going to lose. I think that Poppy would end up being the one to lose. Holly would just give up because she sees that she's getting nowhere with Poppy. It would be extremely bittersweet and she would be nonstop crying. She would try to reason with her, but it wouldn't work. Poppy would be determined to let Holly live, so she would let herself lose.

Survivor: Holly

A/N: Here's the good shit y'all. Everyone is going to fucking HATE me. I'm so sorry in advance. My imagination really said fuck you once I got to like 3.

4. Apple/Raven

...

So. I feel like it would be giving Dragon Games LMFAO. No bc like it would be super angsty and sad. They would be fighting for each other to survive until the very end. There would be a lot of tears and a lot of just meltdowns over it. Despite the whole thing about how Raven is portrayed as the more selfless one in the friendship, I'm just gonna say it rn. Apple stopped being selfish (... only partially because she DID get herself killed to save Raven which only hurt her more but it's fine)

APPLE LOST.

She definitely lost. Raven didn't see it coming, and it just happened. Apple accepted it and that was it. Raven definitely walked away from this with guilt for the rest of her life. She would never be the same. I think she would always feel like a part of her was missing.

Survivor: Raven

3. Darling/Apple

I'll just start by saying that Apple dies. I'll explain why. LET ME EXPLAIN. PLEASE.

My take on this is, of course, that Darling loves Apple more than she will ever realize (literally no fucking shit). Everyone is made to believe that Darling is going to be the one who loses. Even Apple believes this. It makes sense that Darling would be the one to die. She's the knight in the relationship. Literally. Anyway, it just makes sense. How she is would just make complete sense. You're made to think that in the end, it's going to be Darling. It almost is. Apple really has her mind set on it being herself, but she just has a feeling that it'll be Darling. She thinks that Darling is going to find a way to lose her marbles. Then they start to get close to the end, and it clicks in Apple's mind that she can't let Darling die. She refuses to let her go. So she does what any good girlfriend would do.

Apple lets Darling get all of her marbles before Darling even realizes what Apple was doing. The minute that Darling has Apple's last marble, she just stares at her. I think she would silent cry and Apple would try to be optimistic. It would be so fucking emotional. I don't know how well I would handle it.

Survivor: Darling

2. Maddie/Raven

Banging my head against a wall because the way I would cry. I feel like everyone knows who would die. Let's just be fr. It's Maddie. Y'all can come at me, but it's Maddie. I know she's like goofy and crazy most of the time, but when it comes down to it, she absolutely loves her friends to the ends of the universe. She would do anything for them. I love her relationship with Raven, and I feel like going into it, Raven would already know that Maddie was going to lose. She would try to deny it, but she would already know. It would be gut feeling that she couldn't shake. She would try to draw the game out so that she had more time with Maddie, but it wouldn't matter because Maddie was going to die sooner or later. I think Maddie would be cracking jokes and trying to make Raven smile until she was finally killed. She would definitely know as well from the beginning that she would be the one. It wouldn't be that Raven didn't want to do it, because she really did, it would just be that Maddie felt like it should be her. Maddie wanted to let Raven live even if meant that she couldn't. This would make me bawl fr.

Survivor: Raven

2. Kitty/Lizzie

I actually just put this one on the list of ships to do, so here we go. This would be super fucking angsty. Both of them love each other a lot and don't want to watch the other one die. They know that one of them will have to die, but they want it to be themselves. It would be horrible to watch because I feel like, and don't get mad because I actually struggled to think about who would die, it would be Lizzie who lost. I can see it being Kitty. I definitely can, BUT, there's just something that makes me believe that it would truly be Lizzie in the end. I think both of them would hold it together for the most part until the end. Kitty would finally win and completely lose her shit. Lizzie would accept her fate but continuously apologize to Kitty for letting this happen. I think Kitty would tell her "it's okay" and just try to make her feel not guilty. Kitty wouldn't come out of this okay at all. I feel like she would actually go insane after watching the love of her life die.

Survivor: Kitty

A/N: GOD I FUCKING HATE MYSELF FOR DOING THESE LAST TWO. I love y'all but here comes, in my opinion, the ones that would make me want to break shit and kms. They're the full-on mental breakdown ones.

Ashlynn/Briar

I'll start this one by apologizing because I'm going to be dead serious right now. I would literally have a meltdown over this. I wouldn't be able to handle it. Their friendship is wholesome and they love each other so much that it hurts. And for the love of FUCKING GOD I AM SO SORRY BUT ASHLYNN LOSES.

I'm leaving that there.

This one is bad. It's definitely a lot of crying and "I love you's" because who doesn't lose playing a game where one of you has to die and the other has to live with that guilt for the rest of their (very possibly short) life. Briar definitely goes into the game convinced that she's going to do it. She prepares herself the entire time. She loses her mojo a few times because she feels bad that Ashlynn is crying so much and is just an emotional mess. It just reminds her of how Ashlynn would be if Briar actually lost. This one would be hard to watch. I think there would just be constant crying on both sides if I'm being completely honest. I think that everyone would seriously think it's Briar, and then you realize that it's going to be Ashlynn. There would be that moment of "wait, what the fuck did she just do?" It would be gut-churning honestly. Ashlynn was honestly always too nice, and this would be the moment when she needed to not be. Briar would tell her she needed to just let her lose so Ashlynn could walk away from this, but Ashlynn wouldn't want that. I think the second that Briar realized that it wasn't going to be her that lost, she would try to push herself harder to get rid of her marbles. In the end, it would be Ashlynn that got killed. Briar would take it really hard and she would struggle afterwards with the death of her best friend.

Survivor: Briar

A/N: ON GOD THE ONE I'VE BEEN WAITING TO TELL EVERYONE BECAUSE I WANT TO CRY RN THINKING ABT IT

Briar/Faybelle

Shaking. Crying. Screaming. Throwing up. Sobbing.

This would be really bad.

Absolutely fucking horrible to watch.

Writing the part of how this happens, I'm still unsure as to who I'm going to go with on losing, so we'll see as I keep going.

God, this is fucking hard. I can imagine it and I don't want to. It would be super angsty. Like screaming and fighting. A lot of crying. I know Faybelle normally hides all of her emotions on the show and whatever, but this would be that time that she just lets go. Going into the game, they both wanted themselves to die. It's hard to think about because on one hand, you have Briar who is the more soft one in the relationship and wants to let Faybelle survive because she loves her, but then you have Faybelle who feels guilty about how she's treated Briar in the past and she doesn't believe at all that she can continue her life without Briar. It's mostly the latter, but those are just two major points. I think that the idea of the other dying would be the fuel for wanting to lose their own marbles. They would be going back and forth the whole time. I just feel like the angst would be what hurts everyone. It would be so much screaming and crying of how they can't live without the other. We would also see a side of Faybelle that's never even been grazed, and I think that would hurt even more because the fact that Faybelle would let herself act so desperate and be so vulnerable would be an eye-opener. It would be like "oh shit, Faybelle actually fucking loves Briar and literally is about to let herself die just so she can survive." And then you have everything from Briar's pov which is "I can't live without Faybelle so I'm going to lose and she'll learn to live without me. She'll be okay." Both would have similar outlooks on it, but in the end, I genuinely believe that both would die.

Briar would let herself lose first and Faybelle would just fucking lose her mind completely. I think Faybelle would literally be on her knees and begging them to just kill her. If they didn't, she would find a way to do it herself because she can't live without Briar.

Very sob-worthy if you ask me.

Anyway, they both die. End of story. Not really but I don't want to actually write something abt this bc I would cry before I even got one paragraph in

Survivor: Neither bc I'm a bitch

[cherryslyce]

Oh god I just read the final chapter and I’m late sorry for that idk why I didn’t get the notification and god what an emotional roller coaster it was! I got emotional and then I giggled over something ughh you did amazing as always my dearest!

And I’m so glad you didn’t let Freddy and Moony die my babies 😭😭😭😭😭 But Snape my dear, my eyes filled with tears when I read his death. But I’m so glad he got to see Regulus for one last time.

And what about Reader and Bellatrix part?!? I have so many words but let’s just say she got what she deserved :))

Oh and the cute relationship between Sirius and Reader is just what I needed thank you for writing them so sweet 🥹💕

The confession at the end made me so emotional I still remember the first time these two interacted and now they are being cosy and lovey dovey 🥹💖 We love romantic Regulus Black in this house 🔊🔊🔊

AND the kiss????? THE KISS EVEYONE!! It finally happened I can’t believe it! And not once but twice?? I’m crying rn! That was so soooo good. I can’t get over the patronus scene, my god I can’t find the words to describe how I felt when I read that!!

I’m going to miss Second Son so so damn much and I’m not ready to let it go yet :’) I’m waiting for epilogue to cry about it!

I have a lot more to say but I’ll wait for epilogue. Love you so much 🫶🏻

-Val ✨

My Val <333!!

I hate being shadowbanned *sigh*, but I'm so glad to see you omg <333. Fred and Remus are far too precious to me, and I figured that I tortured everyone with enough angst to last for a while haha. I thoroughly enjoyed mapping out Snape's death scene (as morbid as it sounds) because he is such a controversial figure in the fandom, and I really had to balance my own personal pity for him, and how he may be irredeemable in other reader's eyes. But the Regulus + Snape reunion was very bittersweet, and I do feel bad for killing off one of Reggie's last remaining friends....

The Bellatrix duel was a looong time coming, and I hope I did it justice! And everyone say thank you Neville for never questioning reader on their personal vendetta against the woman <3. It's safe to say that Voldie and Bellatrix are both floating in limbo together, forever in turmoil <33.

Surprisingly, I never planned for Sirius and reader to be close at all, but as I was writing the story, it felt like I was growing and learning just like the characters in the story, and it just kind of happened!

We love Reggie so much omg, and YES! Finally! The slow burn has BURNT!! Those two lovable idiots were dancing around a confession for so long haha, but I'm glad that everyone enjoyed the double kiss :)))!! The patronus scene is one of the very few specific plot details that I've had planned since the beginning, and writing it out just made it sink in that the series is really ending <//3.

I am going to miss this series dearly, and I am so overjoyed to see that you've enjoyed this journey just as much, lovely <33. I look forward to seeing you at the epilogue <33!! Love you so much, dear <3

-cherry<333

[bloodybigwardrobe]

I just stumbled across your page, and maybe it's the reminiscent mood I'm in rn, but it sparked something beautiful and bittersweet in me.... I haven't thought about Narnia in many years. I read Tolkien and CS Lewis around the same time growing up and fell much harder into LoTR.. But I've always been a lover of fantasy as escapism. And idk, something about finding this tonight brought me headfirst back into the wonder and magic of the world of Narnia. It's the isekai of classic fantasy. And that's something I kind of lost growing up. (Which is beautifully ironic given this context within the stories themselves... ) Idk where I'm going with this anymore but hey thanks for reminding me that we can (and did) grow a lot and learn much from the world's we lost ourselves in as children. And that they're worth revisiting.

i'm SO, so glad my work helped you rediscover narnia and all those emotions. that's one of the biggest compliments i've received and i'm so happy to hear it <3

[jrueships]

What wips do you have rn 👀 elaborate pspspspsp

Too many wips.. thats what I have rn.. too many...

WJBFJEBF so the ones I'm most focusing on rn is the spiderman! Donovan/royce au!! So far I wrote the whole exposition and I'm working on the 'enticing incident' LMFAO it's upgraded from my last summary so I have more to write because I'm insane but yeah! It's the one I want done the most but I'm also gonna go on a trip with my buds to this place without wifi for like? Four days so 😭 I might have to finish it there and wait forever until I can post it! And I'm still unsure about the ending!!! THE STRUGGLE

a shorter fic I have in mind still is the russell waiting for kd at a table for two but he never shows up fic! I just really like writing russell widjsbf but not much action happens there! Many just dialogue and a lot of pg fashion/life roasting from Russell's inner dialogue. He's very judgemental of people who give off douchebag frat bro vibes but can't help but feel intrigued by them JABFJWB oh and he makes fun of pg simping for gold diggers

The fics I have written partly but put back in the burner are my donovan/jaylen fic, marcus/giannis, pg/kawhi jealousy fic, pg/kawhi sm*t fic, pg/kawhi space au, and john/trae patroclus and Achilles au! Mainly because they're super long and I get nervous about writing them too much and wasting all my muse on one thing, so I get scared and back off 😭 but I'll tell u the basic summary of them!!

💙 donovan/jaylen fic is based off the idea of donovan going grocery shopping and getting all mad at the thought of the clippers LMFAO. Basically he's at a grocery store getting flowers for his sports medicine doctor for always putting up with his bullshit (never wanting to sit down and relax so he can actually heal. Playing through the pain). But as he shops, he keeps finding the simplest shit that reminds him of the clippers. Like he sees a claw machine and thinks about Kawhi and how collected that guy is, just chillin in the upper stands, while his team is facing a possible defeat. Donny gets all frustrated because like?? He can't just do that? Just sit back and chill while his team is playing without him? Donny HAS to help, has to GET OUT THERE!! kawhi Doesn't... but kawhi is the one who won a championship. And donovan starts doubting his leadership skills and if he's really good for his team.. if he let them down by being Too pushy and Too in their faces.

+ and then when he's getting a cute card to go with the flowers, he spots one that says "you're the man!!" And he thinks about terance Mann and his great game against them, how proud pg, basically his mentor, was of him. And it makes donovan think about his loss and how he couldn't get that same pride out of Dwyane Wade.

Overall, everything makes him feel useless af and he almost kicks a shelf out of anger. But he calms himself down and goes back to the flowers because he actually only got this little dinky green plant still struggling to bloom? He got it for himself because he felt bad for it LMAO but he still needs to get flowers for his sports medicine doctor. He's goes back to the flower section and who does he see? JAYLEN BROWN all gussied up in his depression fit LMFAO.. but they both are. Jaylen and him try to joke but they're both tired and awkward so it sucks IABDKSBD they basically just ask what the other is doing there. Jaylen is just traveling rn because he got nothin else to do IWBDKS but he bought Deuce a souvenir gift! And he asks Donovan if he can help him put it in his trunk (but really he doesn't need donovan's help. He can pick the toy up himself. He just knows that Donovan is too stubborn to accept help when he needs it but he'll always try helping others out! So he wants donny to think he's helping jaylen but in reality jaylen is trying to help HIm because at the car he invites Donovan to go meet up at a hotel with him where they kiss and have sad *** to make themselves feel better WKBFKSBX) that's basically it!!!! I have literally everything written but the *** scene they're literally my weakness.. I love the emotions they make but I hate.. describing the actions it takes to make them?? Idk I just feel cheesy writing it? It's very tedious and boring to actually crank my brain for a synonym to 'moan' because I'm tired of using that word but it's the only word that really applies to that situation without sounding weird, yknow?? Just very tedious

💙💙💙 OK so marcus/giannis idk bro like... it's just taking so long IWBKENF idk what to say except giannis makes a ton of small jokes at marcus

💙💙 OK so pg/kawhi jealousy fic... BASICALLY the plot is LeBron hosts some big rich guy party for the NBA because I need a reason to write all these people that live far apart interacting together OKAY??? But anyways it takes place after 2020 lakers winning the championship! Pg convince the clippers to come or else they'll look bad for being the only team not coming and they media will have a field day with them, so the clippers join the party. Basically everyone who later team up in 2021 are talking to eachother LMFAO like James hardon+kyrie+kd are talking while russell westbrook and beal are bonding over dance moves with a jealous John wall pouting in the corner. Obligatory Marcus and giannis interactions because I can. Kyle and demar are laughing together. It's all goood until LeBron waltzes over with his weird ass feet and starts talking to kawhi. Hes being all Handsome and Strong and lowkey flexing his win. Its starting to make pg suspicious so he keeps intruding upon the conversation. His inner dialogue is basically a ton of lebron hate KABFKWB. LeBron sometimes comments back to pg but ends up kinda tuning him outta the conversation and sly dissing him to kawhi like "how does it feel talking to someone who doesn't hit the side of the backboard lol"

Pg is starting to get nervous because he's trying to compete against LEBRON over who's the better teammate for kawhi.. and with his current playoff history.. he's not gonna win. He keeps trying to get kawhi out of the conversation, but lebron keeps drawing him back in and pg ends up giving up or he risks looking like an overbearing girlfriend.. So he slinks off in hopes of distracting himself. Originally, pg thought KAWHI would be the one standing all alone awkwardly in the room with no one to talk to, but it's slowly becoming HIM who's the lonely one LMFAO. He tries joining in bradley and Russ's conversation because HEY!! Everybody leaves russ! Russ must be SUUUPER lonely and DESPERATE for someone to talk to him‼ especially when his old ex durant is out there plotting with his two hydra heads!! paul thought, anyways, but finds out russ is actually having the time of his life clowning around with beal !! That just makes pg even more envious and he walks away with zero satisfaction of feeling superior JABDJSB he tries talking to John wall like "this party fuckin sucks bro" but John kinda barks at him and pg gives up. He tries talking to marcus and giannis but that was a mistake because the two smartiest smartasses in the room start roasting him together so he's shunned back to pretending like he's getting 700 thirsty women in his dms, AKA pretending like he got a text on his phone while he leans alone on a wall LMFAO. After glancing up periodically (and casually) to see if kawhi is still talking to lebron, he later gives up on playing popular and goes to hide in the bathroom like a fucking loser WHDJBFJEBD in summary he kinda broods and steams about how much he hates lebron and how he's 'so much better than him' and he's just thinking of petty insults against him to try and convince the kawhi in his mind not to leave him for lebron. He gets really mad and punches a mirror, but thank God lebron is playing bass boosted music so no one at the party hears it.

But, demar ends up knocking on the door. He needs to shit. So pg is like.. what do I do with this broken mirror and my bleeding hand.. so he tries to keep demar out and they banter and eventually demar notices its kinda weird for pg to be huddled up in the bathroom instead of partying.. he must be getting high or smthin. So he's like "that's fucking stupid. He can go get high in one of lebrons 700 rooms. Why The bathroom." So he just opens the door LANKDN and sees The Scene.

At first he's like "are u paying for that.." to which pg responds with "uhhh. I tripped and hit my head on it" (while clutching a bleeding fist) but then he realizes OHHH pg must be ... OH is he.. no.. he can't be limp wristed... blah blah they end up bonding over their funny situations: demar being jealous of kawhi and feeling like kyle thinks he sucks because of him. Pg being jealous of lebron and feeling like kawhi thinks he sucks because of him. Blah blah it's a bittersweet ending pg becomes a little less of a jerk blah blah I haven't finished it because I'm stupid and WEAK

💙💙💙💙 pg/kawhi space au is just too long I have to be in the mood to write it or I end up dismissing good details I could have included if i wasn't in such a burnt out mind!

💙💙💙 pg/kawhi sm*t fic I gotta be in the mood to detail the h*rny right 😭😭

💙💙💙 john/trae patroclus and Achilles is mainly just an idea but with no plot!

But yeah!!! Those are SOME of my wips!! This post is really long tho so I'll just shout out those!!!@ thank u for the interest tho that's so cute 😭😭😭 it helps me write more when I have a plot lined up to look off of and remember ideas so this is really helpful to me too!!! I'll be shocked if u read this far tbh!! But anyways THANK U ALWAYS FOR THE ASKS, ANON!!!!!

[fma03envy]

Thoughts on rewatching FMA CoS for the first time in around a year:

Love the beginning. Prime 03 comedy

The CoS artstyle is undoubtedly my favorite art style in any version of fma (I know it's really close to the regular 03 art style but They Are Not The Same. The reason all my art has those lines on characters' cheeks is from seeing CoS)

The gender envy I get from waistcoats in general combined with the gender envy I get from Ed... Yeah......

Like the continuity of Ed being absolute shit at driving a tractor in 03 and being no better at driving a car here <3

Why is Ed taller than Mustang when they stand next to each other in the opening???

"Just an old habit of mine" I hope Edward knows I care for him

The audio's timing is slightly off in the YouTube version of this and it's really starting to bug me. I really CoS was on Netflix

It makes absolutely no sense that Noah can see ppls pasts by touching them when no form of "magic" (alchemy, Envy's shapeshifting, etc) works here

I've talked before about how much I love quietly sad protags (Jon, David 7, etc) so CoS Ed is really getting to me

This movie has so many side characters who I want to punch in the face (Hughes especially)

I am once again Caring Too Much about/for Envy but this time I think I have more justification than other times

This movie has a lot of new plot stuff that simply can't bring myself to be interested in

Idk why the wiki theorizes that Eckhart is alternate universe Dante. Logically alternate universe Dante would've died like 400 years before this

Wrath!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Hm my feelings on Alfons are mixed. Like. I do know that the fact that he let Noah live with him and was kind to her indicates that he definitely doesn't hold nazi beliefs or anything. And I do realize that since his goal in life was so niche/expensive working with the Thule society was probably the only chance he would get to fufill his dream (especially given the economic recession, and his lung cancer). But still his choice to ignore Ed's warnings about them along w/his "showing them Germany isn't beaten yet" line is Not Great

I feel like Lang's "maybe I'm trying to avoid being forced out of my dream" line could have some sort of wider plot symbolism relating to either Ed feeling like this world is a dream or Alfons' dream of building rockets but if so I'm not good enough at analysis to understand it. Maybe I'm overthinking and it only means what it seems to tho

Wrath doesn't seem to use alchemy at all during his fight with Gluttony??? Did he lose that ability when he lost Ed's limbs or something???

Speaking of Wrath's fight with Gluttony. I'm so sad it's unreal.

On a different note though. I don't think it would make sense that Wrath would get to see Izumi again given the precedent for how the gate works it's not like she had just died a few minutes before like when Al brought Ed back or anything

Also. Did the ppl animating the bit in the gate just. Forget how CoS Wrath looks. Bc in the rest of CoS Wrath has automail and looks noticably older bc of the timeskip, but in the gate he looks 13 again and has his limbs back?????

Ok I'm going to stop trying to find things to nitpick about Wrath's death simply bc I'm upset that he died. Back to your regularly scheduled reactions

...So time to be upset about Envy's death instead! Literally wtf was CoS thinking by reducing him to a plot point and then killing him off like that?!?! I know Envy's a terrible person but like. He got treated like a lab rat and experimented on by literal nazis for an extended period of time. I think some sort of vengeance for him is called for

It's sort of like my thoughts on the Slicer brothers ig. Like yeah you suck but the punishment really doesn't fit the crime and they had no right to do that to you.

Wrath's death makes me so sad and Envy's makes me so mad I'm generally just suffering rn

I really wish Noah could've gotten through the portal. Obviously Amestris is no Shamballa like she thought but still

"Welcome home" The dramatic irony of this when I know full well how CoS ends 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

CoS really said, "Oh, so Al lost all his memories of the traumatic things that happened to him in armor? Guess we'll give him new traumatic experiences to make up for it!" (Seriously though Alphonse doesn't deserve this he's 13)

Why can the gate be opened from just one side but has to be closed from both

CoS's and TMA's endings reminds me of each other and theyre both bittersweet in a way that rips my heart out

The way CoS ends is so plothole-y but still makes me so emotional

[jeanbo-kirschtein-blog]

SNK 139 spoilers ahead, just my first impressions:

Might change my opinion once I re-read the whole last arc in one go, but rn not really sure SNK 139 stuck the landing tbh. Happy Jean and Connie made it through to the end for sure, generally happy with who survived in general. But the whole chapter kinda left a sour taste in my mouth on first reading. 

Like, kinda feels like most of the cast (by extensions probably yams too) think Eren was sort of right in the end? I was totally on board with Eren being the ultimate villain of the series, I mean his primary motivation has been genocide from literally chapter 1, and that was very much the vibe I got from the chapters leading up to this one. But now maybe he was intended to be a tragic hero who just had to wipe out most of the terrestrial life on the planet so that... I don’t even know, so that people wouldn’t fight each other anymore? Was is supposed to be a “war to end all wars”? Because we had one of those Yams, and it didn’t. Like at all. Eh, like I said maybe I’ll change my mind later but rn getting the vibe that we’re supposed to consider that ‘maybe genocide can be good actually’ and I’m really not on board with that, no it can’t, if you do a genocide then you are definitonally evil, no ifs ands or buts.

Plus, a lot of the chapter felt kinda- not sure how to phrase this exactly- ‘hand-wavey’? Maybe? Like “oh and the titan powers are gone now btw, because reasons” and “eh I’m sure when the fascists who were totally on board with that whole global genocide deal see us all together I’m sure they’ll just, like, not do that again. No need depose them or anything, I’m sure Historia will be able to deal with it no probs” and then just leaving that hanging.

Again, maybe I’ll come around on it, but I’m generally not impressed by the way this all ended. Thank you Yams for 138 incredible chapters of a dramatic and emotional story, but maybe I’ll pretend this last one didn’t happen. I can kinda dig 138 as the final chapter more tbh; a bittersweet but ambiguous ending that doesn’t make me question if the author thinks genocide can be justified.

[trensu]

Episode 33: The One where WWX Needs to Stop Touching Swords of the Un-Sexy Kind

So we start the episode with MAXIMUM PAIN

JC is crying and shaking and clinging to jyl’s dead body and I WANT TO DIE

Plus side, wwx grabbed the guy who stabbed jyl and choked him to death

Now wwx is surrounded by all the stupid idiots that comprise the cultivator world and they’re all hurling insults and accusations at him and MY POOR SUNSHINE BOY IS JUST HAVING A BREAKDOWN

We get a shot of lwj who is fighting tooth and nail against the cultivators but he’s surrounded and can’t get to wwx

Also, just so you all know, LWJ HAS THE BEST FIGHT SCENES. He just stopped two blades at once and knocked the guys down 

Oh noooo, wwx pulls out his demon flute and starts playing! Resentful energy starts going even more crazy!

Lwj: wei ying, stop!

EVERYTHING IS AWFUL

AND IT’S ONLY GOING TO GET WORSE

Wwx is crying as he’s playing and i’m DYING INSIDE

Oh no! Wwx just spat a bunch of blood

Lwj sees him spit out the blood

AND SUDDENLY THEIR SONG IS PLAYING ON A CELLO, ALL SLOW, AND IT HURTS SO MUCH TO HEAR IT PLAYED THIS WAY

While lwj is distracted by the sight of his soulmate breaking down some ASSHOLE ATTACKS HIM FROM BEHIND AND CUTS HIS ARM

He takes him down and then slides effortlessly into another attack that manages to legit slice some dude’s neck open

OUR BOY IS NOT HOLDING BACK AT ALL, FOLKS

SO FAR LWJ’S MAD FIGHTING SKILLS ARE THE ONLY THING KEEPING ME TOGETHER

Oh no

Wwx just pulled out Plot Device 2 after getting the high ground, and lwj is watching him from below as he does this

Wwx: since you want it so much, come take it with your own ability

And he just chucks it to the crowd

We get to see all the greed and desire for power from all the cultivators here as they start cutting each other down to get their hands on this thing

It disgusts me

Now wwx is laughing BUT IT IS NOT HAPPY LAUGHTER. IT IS DESPERATE GRIEVING LAUGHTER, I HATE IT SO MUCH

AND LWJ IS WATCHING WITH A HELPLESS LOOK ON HIS FACE

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

WWX IS AT THE CLIFF

THAT ONE CLIFF WE HATE

I CAN’T DO THIS

OH GOD

Lwj: wei ying, come back

He says this so softly and full of desperation

He’s so scared

But wwx just steps back more, closer to the cliff’s edge and HE’S CRYING AND JUST LETS HIMSELF FALL

LWJ FUCKING LUNGES FOR HIM

OH GOD I CAN’T DO THIS

I CAN’T

Lwj barely manages to grab him in time and he grips him tight in his hand with all his might

Wwx looks so surprised, completely shocked that someone would try to save him at this point

Lwj, on the other hand, has a grim determined look on his face. He caught his soulmate, just barely, but he caught him and he will not let go!!

Wwx: lan zhan

There’s blood streaming down lwj’s hand from the wound on his arm and it’s just pouring over wwx’s hand

Wwx just hangs there limply, making no move to pull himself up towards lwj

Wwx: lan zhan, let me go

NONONONONONONO

Lwj’s grip SLIPS FOR A SECOND THAT GIVES ME A FREAKING HEART ATTACK but he manages to adjust his grip and clutch at him HARDER

He hasn’t said a word! He hasn’t said anything bc he’s focusing everything he has on holding onto wwx

Then we see jc striding into the scene and I’M DYING I’M DYING THIS IS GOING TO HURT SO BAD

Jc gets to lwj’s side and looms over the both of them

Wwx: jiang cheng…

And wwx for a split second looks happy; he’s happy to see his brother bc it’s his brother, the guy who’s been with him since they were children

But jc draws his sword and glares at him

And that joy peters off into pained acceptance bc wwx thinks he deserves this

Nononononononononononono my yunmeng bros don’t do this to me, please no

Lwj: Jiang Wanyin, stop it!

LWJ IS SAYING THIS THROUGH GRITTED TEETH BC HE SAW JC DRAW HIS SWORD

HE SEES HIM AIMING IT THREATENINGLY AT HIS SOULMATE 

AND HE DOES NOT HAVE THE STRENGTH OR ABILITY TO BLOCK HIM RIGHT NOW BECAUSE HE CAN’T LET GO OF WWX

Jc takes his sword and tells wwx to go to hell and strikes the stone between lwj and wwx

It’s enough to wobble where lwj is at and wwx SEES this and panics

HE WILL NOT BRING LAN ZHAN DOWN WITH HIM

So he yanks his arm from lwj’s grip and lets himself fall

Lwj: WEI YING

AND WE HEAR LWJ SHOUT HIS SOULMATE’S NAME. IT’S FULL OF DESPAIR BC HIS SOULMATE IS LOST TO HIM NOW

AND HIS FACE IS JUST ALL DEVASTATION AND HEARTBREAK

KILL ME KILL ME IT HURTS TOO MUCH

And then the camera pulls back and lwj looks so small standing on that cliff as jc just walks away

Lwj: wei ying

He says his soulmate’s name one last time in a pained gasp, like he can’t get enough air in his lungs, like breathing hurts, bc EVERYTHING HURTS, HE JUST LOST HIS SOULMATE

And then before, i can spiral into a nervous breakdown from the sheer ENORMITY OF EMOTIONS THIS SHOW JUST SHOVED DOWN MY THROAT...

We get a time skip!

~16 years later~

The scene opens to lwj playing ~their song~ on the guqin

Oh god it sounds so beautiful

It’s played in a way that sounds soothing and peaceful

Probably to keep the audience from finding a cliff and taking a dive…

Also, this is the first time we see lwj with his hair down! Or at least it doesn’t have a fancy hairpiece in it; it’s still tied back a bit tho

It’s a fucking travesty that we don’t get to see his hair like this more often. He looks so freaking soft here…

In fact everything looks so soft here: out of focus shots of wwx and lwj, a breeze gently rustling the curtains…

It really is just what i needed to recover from what happened like, two seconds ago, tho, so kudos to the showrunners

Now we get a quick series of flashbacks to mo xuanyu, the juniors, etc etc

The show’s like hey guys, remember 30 episodes ago we started telling a different story with a whole bunch of other characters??

Yeah, we didn’t think so, let us remind you real quick

AND ~THEIR SONG~ IS PLAYING THE WHOLE TIME

Okay, we’re back at present-day Ancient Fantasy China and wwx just starts regaining consciousness

Of course the first thing he does is tenderly watch lwj play their love song

Wwx: sixteen years...it feels like a dream

IT’S VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU KNOW THAT THE FLUTE PART OF THEIR SONG STARTS UP AS SOON AS WWX STARTS TO SPEAK

Lwj: you’re awake

I AM HAVING FEELINGS

MUCH LESS PAINFUL FEELINGS THAN 5 MINUTES AGO, BUT THERE’S A LOT OF THEM AND IDK WHAT TO DO

Lwj continues to play on his guqin

Wwx: i never thought i could still be alive

Lwj: the day you fell of the cliff, jc insisted on searching for your body but he could only see the bones of the dead

Wwx: what about you? Have you ever tried looking for me?

Of COURSE HE FUCKING DID YOU’RE HIS SOULMATE WHAT DID YOU THINK HE WAS GOING TO DO, OH MY GOD

Lwj: three years later, i went there but there were no bones left

God, they’re both speaking so gently to each other 

like they can’t quite believe they’re able to have this conversation, that this reunion is happening at all.

Wwx: why three years later?

Lwj’s hands freeze over the guqin when he asks this

Lwj: these 16 years…

NOTICE HOW LWJ POINTEDLY DOES NOT ANSWER THE QUESTION

Wwx: if i say i don’t know where i was these last 16 years, will you believe me?

Lwj: yes, i believe you

His voice is all soft and full of feeling

Wwx: lan zhan, did you really believe me back then?

HAVE I MENTIONED THAT THEY’RE SPEAKING TO EACH OTHER EVER SO SOFTLY AND TENDERLY AND GENTLE-LIKE?? I AM FULL TO THE BRIM WITH EMOTIONS RN

WWX IS TEARY EYED THE WHOLE TIME, MY HEART MY HEART

Oh, now we cut to a freaking beautiful shot of lwj sitting on a rock with his guqin on his lap, surrounded by trees and a waterfall

HE’S FUCKING GLOWING IN THIS SHOT

And my god the scenery in this show is just so fucking gorgeous

Like, how did they make it so beautiful???

We cut back to wwx and watch as wwx steps out of the Silence Room (aka the jingshi, aka LWJ’S BEDROOM) and starts wandering the Cloud Recesses

And i’m here like ummm? Where’s your mask wwx? YOU’RE WANDERING THE CLOUD RECESSES PRETTY CONFIDENTLY THERE WITHOUT YOUR MASK. 

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING.

We do get cute little flashbacks as wwx reminisces about the last time he was here tho

It’s bittersweet

Oh, he’s coming up to the library pavilion and ~THEIR SONG~ starts playing again! 

WE FLASHBACK TO ANGRY BB!LWJ 

LOOK AT HOW PRECIOUS AND LITTLE THEY ARE HERE. 

BABIES, THEY’RE ALL BABIES HERE. 

Y’KNOW, BEFORE THEY GET HIT WITH ALL THAT WAR AND LOSS AND EMOTIONAL TRAUMA

Now we cut to wwx wandering the back hills of the cloud recesses and there are bunnies!!! HELLO BUNNIES, WE MISSED YOU~!

Wwx picks up one of the bunnies and starts petting them

Wwx: little bunny, do you remember me?

SO CUTE, I DIE.

Wwx: i didn’t know that you were still being kept here after so many years!

He’s holding the bunny so gently and petting them AHHHH

Wwx: didn’t that fuddy duddy say he didn’t like you?

HE SMILES SO SWEETLY AT THE PRECIOUS LITTLE BUNNY

Wwx finishes his time with the bunny and casually makes his way towards the cold spring

HALF NAKED LWJ

WET HALF NAKED LWJ

CHILLING IN THE COLD SPRING BEING TOTALLY GAY

Oh, but when wwx realizes who’s in the cold spring, he gets this pleased little smile on his face!!

That smile slips right off his face tho when he sees that lwj’s back is littered with scars

The music here gets all low and ominous here too.

Wwx’s brows get all furrowed and his mouth drops open in shock

Wwx: whips?

Lwj turns around and sees wwx standing there

he seems pretty surprised to see wwx there, actually, his eyes widen and everything

When he does this HE REVEALS THE WEN BRAND BURNED INTO HIS CHEST RIGHT WHERE WWX HAD IT BURNED INTO HIM IN THE MURDER TURTLE CAVE

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Wwx lets out a little gasp and jerks back in shock when he sees it

At that, lwj immediately flicks his gaze downward and to the side in an obviously nervous gesture

He robes up pretty quickly from here (like REALLY quickly)

Wwx is still staring at him with his eyes all wide but not in a “omg hot naked dude” way; more in a “oh no, what happened?!” sort of way

Side note to mention I LOVE HOW LWJ LOOKS WITH WET HAIR, IDK WHY BUT I DO

Lwj: you’re awake

Wwx: lan zhan, the whips on your back...

Lwj: *looks down and doesn’t answer*

Wwx: you have always been a model among the disciples. What on earth have you done to deserve such a severe punishment?

His brow is all furrowed and he looks almost angry

But his voice is soft and serious and full of concern

And i’m sitting here like, OH BOY, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO LIKE THE ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION WWX

Wwx: lan zhan, answer me

WHAT IF HE DOESN’T ANSWER, WWX? HMMM? WHAT WILL YOU DO THEN? 

REMEMBER THAT ONE TIME HE DEMANDED YOU ANSWER HIM AND YOU GOT ALL MEAN AND SNARKY?

BECAUSE I DO

I’M STILL NOT OVER IT, THAT WAS REALLY MEAN OF YOU

Lwj: *pointedly stays silent and keeps his gaze lowered*

And here the some lan disciples interrupt before we can get any answers

They’re here to give us Plot, how dare they

Apparently lqr got himself in trouble; couldn’t control a spirit or smth. What a rookie.

But we don’t care bc he’s wwx’s nemesis lol

Wwx and lwj rush over to the “Underworld Chamber” where lqr is at

Yes, they have a building called the Underworld Chamber bc the lan clan specializes in dramatics i guess

And also, somehow between the cold spring to the underworld chamber, lwj’s hair dries completely and he has it all done up again with his snazzy silver hairpiece??

Which, actually, is freaking hilarious if you think about it

Like, oh, gotta go save my uncle but if he sees me so disheveled he’ll make me write lines for sure...better get myself dolled up before i arrive there

Wwx does his cool magic talisman thing to bust open the doors of the dramatically named chamber and then locks the doors up behind them once he and lwj get in

Lwj looks very worried about his uncle, who is currently swooned into the arms of some rando lan disciple

Lwj immediately takes over the guqin bc he’s the Guqin Master and starts playing Magic Music

and the possessed sword is floating in the middle of the room exuding Bad Vibes™

Wwx whips out his shoddy flute and starts playing the Magic Music too bc it’s DUET TIME, BABY

Lol lqr immediately starts groaning when he hears the flute start up

Wwx’s like oh shit, lqr will recognize me if i play masterfully as i usually do so he switches from playing Magic Music to playing ~Their Song~ but, like, horribly??? It’s terrible terrible flute playing.

(also, like, i know they’re all acting, none of them know how to actually play the instruments their characters play but here i’m like ARE YOU EVEN TRYING?? DO THOSE FINGERINGS BELONG TO ANY ACTUAL NOTES???)

(I know i wasn’t the greatest at playing the flute in high school--okay, i was actually a pretty shitty flutist BUT EVEN I CAN TELL THAT THOSE FINGERINGS ARE BULLSHIT)

(okay i’m done yelling about the flute-playing now)

AND LOL LWJ’S FACE IS LIKE WHAT WHAT WHAT ARE YOU DOING, THAT SOUNDS HORRENDOUS HOW DARE YOU MUTILATE OUR LOVE SONG THAT WAY

Lqr: stop the flute! Get out!!

I’M D Y I N G LOLOLOL

Wwx stops playing and looks at lqr like, yikes

Lqr: no more…

And then he passes out like a drama queen omg

Wwx looks at lwj like “oops, sorry about your uncle??”

But after lqr is very much unconscious he starts playing Magic Music well again

So that all happens and eventually the sword spirit chills out and clatters to the floor

It’s still very obviously exuding Bad Vibes™ and doing this creepy whisper thing so of course wwx is like IMMA GRAB IT

OMG WWX STOP TOUCHING SCREAMING SWORDS

HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING JFC

Yeah so for some reason, wwx thinks it’s a good idea to touch the possessed sword and it starts screaming at him obvs and he starts to shake

Lwj is watching him all worriedly

The screaming seems to overwhelm wwx bc he’s flung back STRAIGHT INTO LWJ’S ARMS

Like, no hesitation. Lwj IMMEDIATELY catches him all tenderly as he falls

We cut back to the silence room with lwj at lqr’s bedside, checking his meridians/spiritual energy/whatever the hell

He’s very focused but all the juniors are cheeping at him like baby birds, it’s adorable

Except one of the juniors starts talking about the possibility of the yiling patriarch possessing someone and lwj opens his eyes and glares at him

HE GLARES SO HARD

AND ALL THE JUNIORS DUCK THEIR HEADS IN SHAME 

Lwj dismisses them

Lwj: sizhui, go to bed

Lsz: but dad!!

Lwj: say no more, go

Lsz: yes father

I LOVE DADJI AND LSZ MOMENTS, I HAD TO INCLUDE THIS EXCHANGE

Lsz leaves and bumps into wwx who’s lounging casually outside that building. It’s night time. He’s dressed all in black. Wearing a mask. He looks sketchy af is what i’m saying.

Like, you choose NOW to wear a mask?? WHERE WAS THAT MASK EARLIER???

Wwx: are you okay, random junior that i’m fond of for some unknown reason?

And lsz opens up to him and starts being all Clever and talking Plot Points

Wwx is watching him puzzle this out and he’s so proud and impressed with lsz

Wwx: good analysis, it seems you’ve studied really hard!

More plot talk and then lsz is all why are you wearing a mask again?

Wwx: i’m afraid of being seen by some old friends…

“FRIENDS” LOLOL YEAH OKAY

Cut to a new scene. It’s morning time!

Lwj is staring longingly at wwx

Wwx: you’re not suspecting me are you? I’ve been sleeping for 16 years.

HELLO DENSE!WWX. CAN’T SAY THAT I’VE MISSED YOUR OBLIVIOUSNESS

HE’S OBVIOUSLY USING EVERY OUNCE SELF RESTRAINT TO NOT GRAB YOU AND KISS THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF YOU

Also, is this how he’s coping with being dead and resurrected? Pretending he took an extended nap?? this is a crowley approved coping mechanism, and i too approve of extended naps

Lwj: of course i believe you

Now they’re doing Plot Talk but we’re not gonna go into detail

Instead we’re going to enjoy their general proximity to each other and watch their pretty beautiful gorgeous faces as they bask in each other’s presence and talk smart with their wonderful voices

*dreamy sigh*

WWX IS BEING CLEVER

AND LWJ IS KEEPING UP WITH HIS CLEVERNESS

AND THEY REACH THE SAME CONCLUSION AND SAY IT OUT LOUD SIMULTANEOUSLY

BC THEY’RE GENIUS SOULMATES

(their conclusion has to do with Xue Yang and Plot Device 1 that may have something to do with Plot Device 2?? Only mentioning it vaguely bc it becomes relevant to wangxiantics later. We don’t need to know more than this lol)

Ooh, the end of their Plot Talk wwx says something about how whoever planted the sword ghost is obviously coming after him

Like, he realizes that he’s the target (presumably; i suppose it’s a reasonable assumption for him to make at this point). He stares off into the distance totally accepting of becoming the target again

But lwj gazes at him like OVER MY DEAD BODY IS ANYONE GONNA TAKE YOU AWAY FROM ME AGAIN, I JUST GOT YOU BACK!!

Maybe i’m projecting bc OVER MY DEAD BODY AM I LETTING ANYONE HURT MY PRECIOUS SUNSHINE BOY AGAIN,. COME OUT HERE AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN/WOMAN/NB PERSON

Now they’re back at the Underworld Chamber where the sword ghost (sans sword) is just chillin there and it’s all glowy and blue instead of smoky black.

Blah blah PLOT blah blah Follow the sword ghost blah blah Find sword ghost’s owner blah blah

Oh, and here lwj says they’re going on a trip together for Plot Reasons

Wwx is very excited about it. He hops and LEANS HARD into lwj.

Like, he’s putting weight into it guys, just getting all up close and personal with lwj’s strong sturdy shoulder~!

Wwx: i finally won’t be controlled by the strict rules here!

UM EXCUSE ME???

WHEN HAVE YOU EVER FOLLOWED THEIR RULES, WWX

WHEN

NAME ONE TIME

GO AHEAD, I’LL WAIT.

Lwj steps back slightly and wwx barely catches himself in time, it’s GREAT.

GUYS, OUR BOYS ARE TRAVELING TOGETHER AGAIN

ON A MISSION

TOGETHER!! 

SIDE BY SIDE!

TO HUNT DOWN EVIL!

TOGETHER!!

JUST LIKE OLD TIMES BEFORE ALL THE ANGST AND TRAUMA HAPPENED!!!

Look at our boys! Together! In qinghe!! Qinghe brings back so many fond memories!

They go into town to explore

Lol, we meet a mountebank selling portraits of the yiling patriarch that are supposed to ward off evil 

Wwx gets distracted by him and stays behind to chat while lwj keeps going

Wwx inspects the portraits and is SUPER DISAPPOINTED AND OFFENDED

THOSE PORTRAITS PHYSICALLY PAIN HIM

Wwx: the yiling patriarch was famous for his good looks! Who are these losers?? If you never saw the actual person, don’t draw randomly!! Stop misleading the younger generation! THEY HAVE TO KNOW HOW PRETTY I AM

Ah, poor wwx. Nobody can capture his beautiful perfect face.

SURPRISE JIN LING!!

ANGRY LITTLE BOY

KNOCKING DOWN THE POOR INNOCENT MOUNTEBANK

He’s all, that guy should be grateful all i did was kick him. I will kill anyone who mentions the yiling patriarch around me!!

Lol he’s such a brat, i love him.

Wwx: *internally* i wonder how his personality turned out this way. Poor temper, strong hostility. He learned all his uncle’s and father’s defects but none of his mother's strengths. If i don’t start working on him now, he’ll definitely suffer in the future…

LOOK AT WWX BEING A CONCERNED UNCLE!! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

Except he hasn’t had much practice being an uncle so he brings up the time he pinned him to the ground with a talisman 

Jin ling gets offended...

Aaaand here comes FAIRY THE WONDER DOG!! 

Wwx hears the dog barking and making their way towards him AND FLIPS THE FUCK OUT

HE RUNS AWAY SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS

IT’S HILARIOUS

And we end on that high note.

Talk about emotional whiplash.

How can you make me want to tear my heart out of my own chest at the beginning and 40ish minutes later have me giggling like a loon??

Return to Masterpost

[bittybattybunny]

I'm enjoying the various facts of the RuClipse Aus, mostly because I was planning to do RuClipse month. So Im curious how many you have? I know you got A LOT, I mean, I remember the list you post before and apparently you have more under your sleeve (Im looking at that Regis kills Eclipse D':). Im just curious as which ones are more present in your mind/you have more facts and lore. -from a RuClipse fan

dlkgjsdkgkldsngkladnklgsfd

I JUST

IM SORRY IM JUST BLOWN AWAY I HAVE FUCKING RUCLIPSE FANS

PLEASE UNDERSTAND THE SHEER SHOCK THIS GIVES ME AND DELIGHT

dgfisjkgfjdskg

Speaking of Ruclipse month I’m makign a proper “banner” with teh prompts this is the WIp image

As for Aus!!

this is gonna get long---

Ummmm The lsit wasn’t full full cuz like I have some AUs tied into others and some I’ve made since then... Like i have a number of Aus I don’t talk about since they are mostly JUST RuClipse focus like I have a Kelpie AU in which Arulius is a Kelpie who’s been trying to eat Eclipse since she was a child but winds up falling for her when she’s older because she’s facinating and eventually starts staying with her because humans age too fast. I also have a Red Riding Hood AU that’s cute fluff. Plus my Fairy Cinderella one.

IDK an exact number tbh I’d have to like. Sit and count.  I just like to write them cuz it’s relaxing and I really need that (like man i need relaxing... i had a break down at my day job and my manager had to drive me home by force cuz I wanted to keep working----but that’s because im a severe workaholic with some trauma involved with perfectionism)

Which are my focus/most lore

Right now it’s @eclipseofthehat that’s a big one!!! I’ve been working a lot on the comic scripts and figuring that plot out since I consider that AU kinda my “hub” Au in which everything else is the AU of if that makes sense?

Other than that I’m slightly obsessed with the Nutcracker AU and the Triassic Planet AU but I’m not the main writer on those so I can’t do much lore there.

Well I’m making a shit ton of angst in the Triassic Planet AU but that’s cuz Gin  is as angst fueled as I am.

The thing with me is I get inspired off pretty much anything and can come up with a full damn lore plot in a matter of hours.

Sometimes I go ham on them and they become full-fledged things (like the Lamia AU i have was based off of the simple fact of I was watching Anime, a lamia showed up and I went ‘hey what if’ and now I wrote about 7 short chapters i need to finish) or I just do a snippet (the phantom of the opera au. Like i do have the full plot figured. but I really just wanted to write a small snippet)

I have a lot of like partially written things I just worked on while I was bored, sometimes I sketch things randomly and run off.

I get stressed out pretty easily and over whelmed with day to day stuff so I use this as my escape.

anyhow here’s a smallish list of AUs i have rn I think are new from that list im too lazy to look up:

Under a read more CUZ IT GOT LONGER THAN I THOUGHT

Lawbound (Hattie summoned poor law student Prynce Arulius Law who is dead by his fiancee’s hand and trying to solve his own murder. Chapter one is written to post Im doing the cover. chapter 2 is started. Epilogue is also already written)

Red is the Wolf (Red riding hood au, Eclipse is a young woman who’s slowly become a wolf forest spirit due to being born with too much magic. If she interacts with humans she’ll remains human. however she has a terrible fear of people. Her life gets thrown when she accidentally encounters the Prince in the woods and discovers he’s similar to her but his curse is more damaging. She winds up trying to break his curse while slowly falls for her)

The Snake prince (based off my favorite fable from childhood ‘the enchanted snake’ in which Arulius is a Prince who was turned into a snake for the sin of signing the order to execute the forest guardians. his fiance was unable to bear his snakeness and had him trapped in her basement where he escaped injured. he was found by folklorist Eclipse who is a witch and the lone survivor of the massacre. they have no idea of the other’s identity but this is the one AU he’s pretty open about his feelings and while she’s trying to break his curse they end up in love and eventually she has to do the kings trials and Ru semi breaks his curse and the two flee his father who wants her dead. I actually drew a really cute picture of right after eclipse properly breaks his curse. it’s a super fluffy au tbh)

Sunken Ship (new au from the past week. Eclipse is a sea witch who loves ship wrecks. she met the ghost of Arulius Law, a law student who passed away when his fiance shoved him off the sinking ship. She took his skull back to New york with her so he can try to move on. Bittersweet story of them growing close but he’s dead... but mermaids live a long time. and im a slut for reincarnation)

Whipped Water Horse (this is the kelpie au i talked about above. Arulius is a Kelpie who’s been threatened with a whip by Amaris Nightingale since she was a small child and she doesn’t fear the fae. ends up falling in love with her and saving her several times from her human suitors under the guise of “youre my target so no one can have you” has some major angst and some not so fun stuff nearly happen)

The contractor’s wish (Snatcher is a demon who has to grant the whims of those who form contracts by writing in the book he’s bound to. Eclipse found the book while cleaning her attic out and ends up freeing him without question. he sticks around and slowly recalls being human and how he wound up in his situation while trying to figure what his actual wish is)

Cute Barista (a coffee shop au with a cinderella twist. Amaris is a graphic design student who works at her brother’s cafe “the horizon” and attracted the attention of a law student named Arulius law who visits daily. Her brother tried to get him to piss off but sadly the two actually enjoy chatting with each other. As a peck you to her brother they start going on dates. She’s very down on herself and he’s secretly the reclusive prince who’s been in hiding because he’s afraid of peoples reactions after he was scarred by an accident in his youth. he’s trying to find the best way to tell her the truth but also doesn’t want to scare her away. He’s a single father in this having adopted Harriet while doing volunteer work)

the Art Student’s muse (this one is fully written i just haven’t posted it. Basically, Arulius is an art student who became obsessed with this one nude model they had. Like not persay in a creepy way she just captivated him. he gets a lot of shit from his best friend Vanessa but winds up keeping the model in mind despite not seeing her. In his senior year they cross paths again and she has a break down but they wind up together.)

Swapped (a short one shot chapter in which TLC eclispe wakes up as Moon guardian Eclipse and gets very confused emotions when snatcher kissed her)

Darkrai’s Wish (a pokemon au Ive posted one chapter of already in which Arulius is a darkrai but used to be human and doesnt remember this. he has to deal with being human again thanks to a little jirachi and dealing with the fact he loves Eclipse who has issues cuz he used to be a pokemon)

Wolf bite (Prince Arulius was cursed as a werewolf in his youth. as an adult when he got out one full moon he bit a village girl giving her the curse as well. She winds up nearly being burned at the stake for witch craft and he has her saved and brought to the castle. he’s trying to make it up to her but she’s understandably pissed off. It’s a lot of him trying to get her to be not angry but also they start liking each other and she helps teach him a lot about how the world works because he’s naive and sheltered)

Familiar (Amaris lives in a world magic exists. many people have famialars to help do day to day tasks and the more impressive your family the better. Most meet their famialar when they are children, however, Amaris didn’t. But one day her past returns and she is taking care of a small chubby dragon who to everyone else looks like a deformed ferret and has to learn her magic may not be as limited as thought as well as the truth behind her familiar and the strange young man who keeps stopping by her work with flowers for her)

The Prince’s Pet Snake (this is the lamia au. Eclipse is a dangerous lamia with venom to take down an army. Arulius is a naive prince who thought of her as an animal and came to realize she’s far more human than he thought and being dumb to the fact he loves her despite he’s engaged. Has a sad ending)

Tangled Adventure (tangled au: Arulius law was cursed by his wife and is now trying to find the horizon and the daughter of the moon to break it. he picks up a changling child along the way who’s also searching for the horizon to find out where she came from. they meet the daughter of the moon but it seems to break the curse isnt as simple as they think and after making a deal with her to show her the outside they get into trouble when the queen comes looking for her lost prince)

Going Ghost (a danny phantom au idk if i’ve mentioned at all lol. hat and bow are twins and friends of arulius and they are inspecting a weird floor at his girlfriend's house. he winds up getting stuck when they trigger a gate to the horizon and becomes the snatcher. thankfully MJ and Eclipse where there and can somewhat help him calm down but it’s nuts)

Princess and the Rogue (a fantasy Au in which Eclipse is a runaway princess who became a fighter and teamed up with the rogue Snatcher who was cursed after wooing a noble woman. the two have been traveling for a few years and have one of those totally love each other but wont say it but also the search for the princess is getting intense and his curse is getting worse.)

Undergrounded (this is just my undertale au. )

Skates on Point (an ice skating au. Arulius is part of a famous olypic duo, Amaris is a selective mute woman who teaches at her daoptive father’s rink and an ex-ballet dancer. her brotehr was the gold medalist in the olympics but had to quit when he lost the use of his legs in a car wreck. Arulius is stressed over his realtionship and skating and winds up going to skate at the owl express rink where he sees the young woman skating alone in the morning. the two wind up bonding and spending more time togehter and she with his urging and her brother’s urging starts skating competitivly while he starts show skating under and alias and the two wind up performing togehter and realize they may have a thing. Eclispe is in teh process of adopting two little girls but having issues and ru helps and its jsut a lot of healing for everyone. Chapter 1, 2 and 3 typed as well as various snippets)

The little sea wolf (a little mermaid au but eclipse is the mermaid and a sea witch who winds up befriending teh prince after she saved him from thugs. things get sticky when the mermaid princess fell for him after seeing the sea witch save him from a shipwreck and deamnds to have him. the sea witch beause of teh strain of her magic starts to break down and unless she gains a soul she’ll die. Sena punches ru in this one and its great)

So yeah thats the ones on top my head im sure i probs have more but i cant think

[kyufiber-moved]

hey hi helloo~ so,,,you kinda seem like you know lots of kdramas,,,,and i wanted to ask you,,,if you could recommend me some of your favorites? tbh anything would be fine kdjs it can be something where i can cry my heart and soul out or something really cute! that's totally up to you (but something where i can absolutely get emotionally invested in that it shatters my heart is what i probs need rn tbh 😩✊🏻)

this is my time to shine 🤓🤓🤓 i DEFINITELY CAN !!! esp for my favorite follower 😔💕 also this is gonna be pretty long bc i gave a lot of info for each drama so i’ll put a read more~!

_ MY PERSONAL FAVS _

go ho’s starry night- a chinese-korean collaboration drama starring snsd's yuri, kim youngkwang (the secret life of my secretary), and lee jihoon (legend of the blue sea) - go ho (yuri) is a dedicated worker who deals with her grumpy boss and quirky coworkers. she requests to be transferred to a different team, where she discovers her new boss is her ex-boyfriend, and then basically there forms a harem of 5 of her coworkers who all like her- super fluffy!! episodes are only about 15 minutes long each, and although there is angst, there's a lot more comedy and fluff. the relationship between the two main leads is adorable and had me squealing way more than once

put your head on my shoulder- a chinese drama starring fair xing (master devil do not kiss me) and lin yi- si tu mo is a bubbly girl who moves into a house only to find out that the owner's nephew (?), gu wei yi,  is already living there, and the two end up living together. si tu mo is sweet and outgoing, while gu wei yi is quiet and intellectual- SO cute. although the plot seems cliche, the focus is not really on them living together, that's just what brings them together originally, and the main lead isn't the stereotypical "cold and super smart asshole" type, he's actually very sweet. there are a lot of episodes but i would definitely recommend watching this!

like- a korean webdrama that you can find on youtube starring kim yu an, kim kangmin (maybe, maybe not), yoo jungwoo (love after school), and seo ji hye- about a group of students who create a film club to make youtube videos and the dumb shit they get into, plus there's some romance, betrayal, and fuckboys. - so so so so cute honestly. the dynamic between the characters of the club is so cute and funny, plus the love triangle has me wheezing. also the asshole fuckboy gets what he deserves which is super satisfying. it hasn't finished airing yet, but so far it's really cute

failing in love- korean webdrama  you can find on youtube starring son sang yeon (triple fling), yang hye ji, and shin yoon seop- about a group of high schoolers who deal with falling in love, crushes, rejection, etc.- ok so the summary i gave was pretty vague but that's because any more and i'd be exposing the whole plot. there is humor and fluff but also teenage angst, and the characters are all more complex than they first appear. i would highly recommend this show !!!

i have 3 boyfriends- short webdrama you can find on youtube starring kim ji eun, park sungwoo (produce 101 season 2 [that 30 year old dude who danced to rain's song OMG], moon jihoo, and lee jungsik - when la hi gets in a car accident and wakes up with amnesia she finds that she has 3 men all claiming to be her boyfriend.- OK LISTEN . this show is so funny and cute. let me just say: you MUST watch to the end. that's all i'll say. pLS WATCH

last minute romance- two episode drama special starring han seung yeon (age of youth) and lee seo won (the liar and his lover)- when baek se finds out she has terminal cancer and only has a short time to live, she desperately wants to complete her one bucket list item: date her favorite actor. it's then that she meets an aspiring actor who looks exactly like her favorite actor- so cute and very short, so you won't spend ages trying to finish. it is very fluffy, cute, and funny, but has an underlying tone of sadness because the main female lead has cancer and will eventually die. also her best friend is a monk??? the ending is bittersweet but very fitting

want more 19- a short webdrama you can find on youtube starring jung ha joon, sin gi hwan,  jeon yoo rim, nam yoon soo, and lee jungha- a story of 5 friends in high school. A mutual crush, a one-sided love, and a rough patch for sweethearts, all taking place right around the end their senior year- OH GOD i can't breathe this drama is so cute. it had me squealing every single episode, and it's very lighthearted with hardly any angst 

splash splash love- a two episode drama starring kim seulgi (queen of the ring) and highlight's doojoon (radio romance)- right before her ksat, danbi is transported to the past during a freak rain shower and is mistaken for a eunich (which, in korean, is the same word for high school senior) . due to her knowledge of future math, the king enlists her to teach him mathematics and they fall in love- a lowkey parody/remake of the kdrama love in the moonlight but if you added time travel into the mix and took out nearly all the angst. SO cute and funny, and has a happy but open type ending

something about 1 percent (2016)- korean drama starring jeon so min and ha seokjin (drinking solo)- lee jae in is an arrogant company heir, whose wealthy grandfather who decides to grant all his wealth to a kindly elementary school teacher. to only way for anyone else to get the money is for someone to marry her, but they devise a contract that changes it to date for 10 months. although they hate each other at first, they eventually fall in love- this drama is super cute and the kisses are AMAZING. there are crazy exes and all that but the couple's dynamic is super cute and they quickly warm up to each other

triple fling (s1)- a short choose-your-own-ending  korean webdrama on youtube starring jung bomin, son sangyeon (failing in love), themanblk's jeongyou, and themanblk's eom sewoong- lee sehee accidentally becomes friends with the three most popular boys in school and ends up in a love square with them- alright im whipped for stuff like this so naturally i loved it. i also really liked how viewers could choose their own ending as for which boy she chose. there is a second season that i haven't seen yet that focuses on another girl in ANOTHER love square (containing one of the guys from sehee's love square) in which it shows which boy she actually did choose (and it was my favorite so . yay!)

weightlifting fairy kim bok joo- a korean drama starring lee sungkyung (cheese in the trap) and nam joohyuk (who are you: school 2015)- a drama about a female weightlifter who falls in love. persuing the relationship would jeopardize her weightlifting, and focusing on weightlifting would jeopardize her relationship with her crush.  she and her group of friends deal with one-sided crushes, athletic pressure, and self-love.- i watched this drama in full in only two days, and loved it. seriously, it's funny, cute, sad, and just a generally AWESOME drama. plus it takes a lot of cliches and makes fun of them or turns them on their head

when you love yourself (s1)- a short webdrama you can find on youtube starring jung mingyu (sweet revenge 2) and saet byeol . - about a girl who is heavier than her classmates who struggles with self-love and self-acceptance, and along the way finds love- god. i can't even explain how much i loved this drama. the message is wonderful and there's no moment where she glows up and loses weight and then gets the guy's attention or anything: he simply loves her as who she is, no matter what weight she is, and is supportive. there's also an episode that focuses on the queen bee girl who also struggles with weight and self-love and it's just beautiful 

after school: lucky or not (s1)- short drama starring 5urprise: kang tae oh (my first first love), seo kang joon (are you human too), gong myung (drinking solo), lee taehwan (w: two worlds), and yoo il, as well as kim so eun (our gab soon)- when so eun gets an invite to the choose-your-mission club, she meets 5 chaotic guys that she becomes friends with, but there's something they aren't telling her.- yes, there is a lil romance and a love triangle HOHO. ok but seriously this drama is the most crackheadery i've ever seen like. genuinely i was just wheezing so hard every episode because of the dumb sh*t the guys were doing and so eun's reaction. this drama seems dumb and funny at first, but there are emotional moments as well as some angst relating to the love triangle and the origin of the club. please do watch this show !!! (don't recommend season 2, though)

accidentally in love - a chinese drama starring amy sun (the eternal love), fiction guo, and ma li- chen qingqing, who is raised by her grandfather) is arranged to be married, but wants to find love on her own terms. on the day of the wedding, she runs away to the university her parents attended to find out more about their death. to hide from her grandfather, she changes her appearance drastically and enters university. her new deskmate turns out to be singer si tu feng, whom she has already run into and has gotten off on the wrong foot with- so this drama was longer than the ones i usually watch but it was worth it. it was cute and they didn't drag out the couple not getting together for ages like some dramas tend to do. the romance was super cute and the female lead's undeterred determination to march to her own drummer was amusing. the only thing i didn't like is that they didnt give the side couple enough screentime bc they were super cute too

my woofy poofy love / my dog-like dating- a short korean webdrama you can find on youtube starring chae ji an and kim do hoon (your imagination becomes reality)- a girl who has recently been cruelly dumped by her boyfriend brings a stray dog back to her home and wakes up to find that instead of a dog, there is a man! she happens to be looking for a roommate, and so this man (who can turn into a dog) becomes her new housemate- literally adorable. female lead is stunning and the relationship is so cute and fluffy and innocent, but the kiss is steamy as hell. 

unrequited love (2019)- a chinese drama starring zhu yan man zi and zhao shun ran- a story of a girl who has secretly loved the same boy for 10 years, but he doesn't know she exists, until one day when they meet in college. so begins their love story, but things become more complicated because of other people- ok so like . damn i love this couple. this drama is really cute but has its fair share of angst, so don't expect an easy ride the whole way through. very cute though !!_ MORE DRAMA RECS _

a love so beautiful- a chinese drama starring shen yue (meteor garden) and hu yi tuan- chen xiaoxi has liked her neighbor jiangchen onesidedly for years, and continues to like him despite his seeming disinterest. but her determination and bubbly personality, as well as a romantic threat starts to cause him to fall for her- aight so . i feel like this drama was dragged out a little bit longer than necessary and then the ending was slightly rushed but!! it WAS a great and super cute drama

ok to be sensitive (s1)- a webdrama you can find on youtube starring kim da ye and kim youngdae (extraordinary you) and others im too lazy to put- focuses on feminist issues like sexism and sexual harassment in a college setting, which each episode focusing on one particular incident and the characters dealing with it- listen so like . this show had me emotional at some points bc of how amazing the message was. it dealt with sexual harassment, sexism, how females are expected to act, stalking, pressure to have sex... etc and basically every episode was like . you can stand up for yourself. you don’t have to “take it” just bc you’re a female, etc. also there was really cute romance uwu

ok to be sensitive (s2)- season 2 of otbs, also can be found on youtube, starring yoo hye in and lee shin young, as well as others but again im too lazy to list them all- same thing as season 1, but a different cast of main characters, and set in an office workplace. (original cast makes a cameo at the end)- the issues in season 2 were definitely a bit darker because it was set in a work place, where the main characters were worried about getting fired if they stood up for themselves, but the way things were handled was really admirable imo. also the male lead in this one is ABSOLUTELY adorable

go back diary- a 4 episode webdrama you can find on youtube starring kim ye ji and lee jong won (jaemin’s webdrama how to hate you)- about a boy who sees a girl at a karaoke bar (?) and instantly develops a crush on her. she then transfers to his school, and it tells the story of their love story after 10 years.- i’ll just say it right now. the whole drama was adorable except for the ending, which fucking sucked. literally was horrible. boycott episode 4 pls i was SO UPSET. otherwise, great webdrama

before we get married- taiwanese drama starring puff guo (just you; we got married w/ suju’s heechul) and jasper liu- tells the story of two people who already have partners and are planning to marry them, only to meet each other and fall in love- bro this show had so much angst i couldn’t even breathe lmfao. but the romantic scenes between the two leads were S T E A M Y let me TELL you. 

love after school (s1)- korean webdrama that can be found on youtube starring park so eun and yoo jungwoo (like)- about a couple who fell in love in high school and their story, told from 5 years later when they meet again- i love love love this bitch. LOVE. season 2 ... we won’t speak of her lol. but season 1 is super cute and the ???? kiss at the end(ish)??? DEAD. literally anything with yoo jungwoo will destroy me but omg. it was fantastic

lucky romance- a korean drama starring hwang jung eum (she was pretty) and ryu joon yeol (reply 1988) - about a woman who believes wholeheartedly in superstitions meeting a man who believes only in science and mathematics, and their very chaotic love story- this show was so funny tbh. the main couple’s dynamic was HILARIOUS and even though they were literally complete opposites they worked so well together. warning: towards the end there’s that whole ‘i have to be noble and let you go bc its for the best’ bullshit but!!! there is a happy ending 

maybe, maybe not- a webdrama starring kim kangmin (like) and gong yoorim- a girl who can read minds and is an outside bc she knows what everyone is really thinking meets a guy that she can’t read the mind of- so fluffy. so cute. oh god. pls watch it’s so soft and cute 

my first first love- a korean drama starring jisoo (strong woman dbs), dia’s chaeyeon (drinking solo), and b1a4′s jinyoung (love in the moonlight)- about a group of friends who all, due to various circumstances, move into their friend tae oh’s house, and find love along the way.- idk why netflix did that dumbass thing where they did mffl 1 and mffl 2 but they’re the same show, just eps 1-8 then 8-16. anyways !! very cute show!! jisoo is fine as hell. taeoh and the rich girl are cute together. i found the ending abrupt and unsatisfying, but overall a good show

thumping spike (s1)- a korean drama starring hwang seung eon (part-time idol) and song jae rim (our gab soon) - about a volleyball team and their coach who are aiming for success, and a female professional volleyball player who becomes their athletic mentor- i know it doesnt sound super romantic but trust me. there is lots of romance, and even a love triangle hehe

u-prince: the single lawyer- a thai drama apart of the u-prince series starring august vachiravit paisarnkulwong and apple lapisara intarasu- firstclass is a straight a student who is strict about punctuality and properness, while minute is a spoiled rich girl who loses all her luxuries when her family files for bankruptcy. she begins “going out” with her gay best friend, aka firstclass’ brother, for money and ends up living in their house, but she and firstclass hate each other- listen all the u prince dramas are cringy and low quality but does it look like a give a shit . NO BC I KEEP WATCHING THEM . they’re cute ok . anyways this was my favorite one so this is the one im recommending yeehaw

unexpected heroes- a short korean drama sponsored by the CDC organ transplant management center, starring btob’s minhyuk, ioi’s sohye, and choi jonghoon- about three high school students who discover that, after their respective organ transplants, they have supernatural powers- though there’s not much focus on romance in this drama, it’s still funny and cute. plus minhyuk is in it and what more can you ask for ?? lol. anyways the trio uses their powers to help solve crimes n stuff it’s gr8 and ive been waiting for a season 2 for 98429834 years

what to do with you- a korean webdrama - that is actually literally an ad for a facemask - starring lee hayoung and kim youngdae (extraordinary you)- saerom and geun are friends, but it feels like they’re something more. will they ever take the next step?- yeah this webdrama is super cute and that’s really all lol. also the bitchy girl in love after school is the best friend in this one oho

your imagination becomes reality- a webdrama that can be found on youtube starring oh se young, kim dohoon (my woofy poofy love), and jin ho eun- soram has a crush on a mysterious upperclassman, and wishes to see him again: she does, soon after. each time she makes a wish, it seems to magically come true. - yeah so like . it’s not a supernatural thing or anything, it’s just a cute college romance that’s basically every girl with a crush’s dream lol~! 

[sky-scribbles]

I’m feeling very soft rn so here’s some gentle, bittersweet Chargestep. Feat. a hypothetical Good Outcome for a certain reveal, m!Ortega x nonspecific Sidestep, and many, many Retribution spoilers. ~1000 words.

You let Ortega see you.

And you’d think it would be easier, now he knows, but pulling your shirt over your head feels like standing at the foot of a mountain and waiting for the avalanche. You’re dwarfed, exposed, vulnerable. You’d be so very easy to drown.

You clench your fingers into the fabric and try to steady your breathing. You won’t drown. Ortega knows, he knows, and he’s still here. And though you scour his face and his eyes and even fixate on the hum of his mind in case, for once, something slips past the static... there’s no flinching, no recoil. No sign that he’s going to back away.

You almost want him to. It’d be easier.

Your flesh was made to be despised, branded so that no one could look at it without revulsion. And it worked. It even worked on you. No one has ever looked at this body except to harm it or hate it, and you’re not ready to start thinking of it as something that can be looked at tenderly. Touched gently. Loved.

But you need to learn, you need to learn fast, because Ortega’s stepping towards you and reaching out a hand.

He hesitates before he touches you. It’s not out of disgust – he’s just waiting, watching your face until you meet his gaze and nod. His hand settles on your upper arm, skin against skin like back in the alley, except this time he knows why you go rigid. Why your breath escapes you as if even this light touch was enough to punch it from your lungs. This time, he lifts his fingertips until the tension drains from you, then lowers them back. Gentle. Warm.

‘You OK?’ he whispers, and you nod again. Because what have you ever done with your life, really, except throw yourself headlong at things you didn’t know how to face? And the tattoos look more garish than you’ve ever seen them, but he’s touching them, touching you, with nothing on his face but quiet concentration. Without that look you’ve seen in too many other eyes, that film of indifference that tells you you’re just meat to them.

And your throat is tight and your mouth is dry, but Ortega is touching you like you’re real.

You stay like that, five seconds, ten, before he trails his hand down your arm. His thumb brushing the scars – too many, too ragged, you can see his brow creasing as he realises just how thick with them your skin is. He gathers up your hand in his, lacing your fingers together while he raises his other hand and traces the markings on your shoulder, your collarbone. It’s like the touch of someone running their fingertips over the page of a book to help them take in the words. To help them see more clearly. To help them understand.

You’ve spent so long behind masks and helmets and puppets. Watching the world from behind a one-way mirror. And now Ortega is learning your skin with a feather-light contact and for the first time in your jagged mess of a life, you’re –

You’re seen.

His fingers pause over the centre of your chest, and you look up to see him frowning. It takes you a moment to realise what he’s hovering over.

‘Yeah,’ you say, your eyes flicking down to the barcode, ‘that’s exactly what you think it is.’

He stares for a few more seconds. Then his jaw clenches, and he lets out a sharp, angry breath.

‘Genetic information. Everything they needed to know about my abilities. Everything they knew -’ You stop, swallow, and correct yourself. ‘Everything they thought they knew about how my mind works. That’s who I am in a bunch of lines. That’s me.’

You try to put some bitter sarcasm behind the words, make it half a joke. The bitterness comes through but the sarcasm doesn’t, your anger’s too genuine, there’s too much rage towards the people who stamped this on your skin and reduced you to an inked pattern. To data. To a sequence of zeroes and ones.

(And maybe you believe your own words just a little bit too much.)

Ortega’s fingers squeeze tighter around yours, and he moves his other hand up from the barcode. Rests it at the top of your breastbone and presses down ever so slightly. Just enough for you to feel your own heartbeat against your skin.

‘No.’ He flashes you that little half-smile, the one that always indicates that he’s about to say something stupid and emotional. ‘This is you.’

It’s a few seconds before you can process that he really just said that. And it’s a few more seconds before you can decide how to respond to something so… absurdly romantic. His smile is just an inch away from becoming smug, because he obviously knows that you’re battling the temptation to hit him.

He can probably tell that your eyes are stinging, too.

So you just lean forward, press your face into his shoulder, and say, ‘Idiot.’

You’re not sure whether you’re trying to hide yourself in case you do end up doing something ridiculous like crying, or whether you’re just trying to be closer to him. Probably both. You feel his chuckle against the back of your head, and then he’s holding you, close enough that his chest is rising and falling against yours. And it’s the intimacy of that tiny sensation that finally makes you bite back a sob, because he saw you. He saw you and he didn’t run. He pulled you closer.

Which is a lot harder to deal with, frankly. You know how to live behind a sheet of glass, and you know how to hate your skin. It would have snapped something deep inside you if he’d walked away, but it would have been something expected. Something familiar.

You don’t know how to live like this. Letting yourself be seen and known. You’ve beaten monsters in hand-to-hand combat and yet you still don’t know if you’re strong enough for this.

But you want to try. And maybe that’s all you need right now.

[abripikuunah]

The Setting Sun

Pairing: Odazai (Oda Sakunosuke x Dazai Osamu) || Word Count: 2886 || Rating: Mature (Suicidal Thoughts)

Ao3

A/N :Finally this baby is done and I can finally rest in peace! BEAST was asking for it so here you go guys- MORE ANGST.But in all seriousness, I wanted to write for a long time after not writing for almost a year and BEAST came and when I saw Harukawa's illustrations, I knew I have to write BEAST!Dazai's character and express it with words. So I try to put myself in his shoes while writing his thoughts about Oda. I planned it to be simple 1500k words but my brain love giving myself pain so I ended up with 2500 more. Needless to say,it was painful af :/.Also there isn't a full translation yet so I might be incorrect with some actions and the setting if there is a full translation. The Setting Sun effect was inspired in the BEAST cover.

A possible illustration will show up in my twitter @AbriPikuuhnah (tumblr too prob) so stay tune for that I guess. But rn my eyes need rest so yep.

Comments and Criticism is very much appreciated and I want to here your thoughts! I hope you have enjoyed this fic <3.

Summary: Today is the fated day where Dazai will witness the last moments of his life. He did it, he made sure that this world won't be swept away in their existence, that everyone would get the ending they deserve. Especially his dear friend that would be able to finally live and write the novel in his dreams.He already talked to Odasaku for the first and last time but after saying all those selfish things, what more does he possibly want?

No matter…

The setting sun would be his audience and partner to execute the finale of the play.It was afternoon and the sun is about to set.

There's a sound of clapping followed by footsteps that could be heard and are now marching closer. The two men that were just fighting momentarily ago are now staring at the man clad in black, with the exception of the red scarf hanging from his neck. He continued to walk, but halted as he proceeded to tell the people in the roof about his plans, making no time to waste.

He then introduced them to the book who birthed them all into life. The book that granted his wishes into a reality. The book that allowed those black broken wings to sprout once more and grow more corrupted than before. A book where he held a pen of revolution to let his bloodied selfish heart write in it.

He told both Atsushi and Akutagawa the importance of the book and why it must be protected. That nobody else should touch it and nothing should be written in ‘it’.

‘Because this world would be destroyed.’

He then appointed the two young men to secure the book at all cost, therefore not giving them a chance to choose. But he knew they both value their own lives and did not wish to be erased from existence, that, he could let his manipulative mind to use.  After his proposal , he gave the book to his subordinate, Atsushi, whose eyes were disquieted in fear. The superior gave him a smile of assurance to the young boy, providing a cold comfort before walking towards the edge.

"D-Dazai-san." Atsushi mutters, a hand reaching out, "It's dangerous over there. Please step away from the-",  but before he could finish his sentence, the boss tilt his head slightly to hint a small curve tugged in the corner of his lips, eyes still hollow as ever.

"Atsushi-kun.” he calls, and stops momentarily before directly meeting his gaze, serious , breathed an heavy weight in it’s depressing color. “Don't tell anyone about the book. Not even Kyouka-chan."

Before Atsushi had the chance to open his mouth and ask the obvious question, he was interrupted again. A sigh expels out of his superior’s lips followed by a warning they both needed to heed.

"If there are three people that have the knowledge of this books true existence, the world itself would cease to exist." he admits and let those words echoes back, giving Atsushi the full message, and he knew what they mean very well. Without saying a word, he restrained himself from grabbing his boss from the dangerous edge.

The boss turned his face towards the city he owns. He’s looking towards the world his dirted hands created. The world he built and worked hard for, sacrificed almost, no, everything from his previous self for its sake.

Two pairs of eyes trailed behind him. While Dazai knew Akutagawa had no plans to save him, Atsushi’s eyes are in pain, as they were only able to watch his superior started walking closer to death's door. Dazai’s body swayed while going towards the edge, the taps of his steps though, is deafening. As he felt the sun beckoning him closer. He also felt that the world seems to stop. Everything went into a slow painstakingly motion and only his rapid thoughts dances around mercilessly.

He still revels into it nonetheless.

The wind seems to only have the freedom to move solemnly as it caressed his exposed skin. He doesn't want to wait if he has a choice, he is impatient and death is already welcoming him . He wanted to asked the damn gods why not just let him fall off and perish already to finally burst down these emotions that has been bottling up his chest in the cold ground like asphalt.

But he doesn't complain.

Dazai… does admires the sight showing its behold . The dusk reminds him the reason why he did all of this in the first place, why this cruel and unfair yet giving world existed and hoped that it perpetually keep moving on its wake.

"Odasaku!"

A voice laughs in the back of Dazai's mind.

"Are you admiring the setting sun again?"

‘Ah, again’ he thought.

His constant habit of reminiscing starts once more.

It was like this time again, where the two of them are at the docks, wandering aimlessly where they let their conversations and idle topics leads them to wherever place they ended up to, not caring about the society in a whole. Somehow, along the way , they landed in the pier, where they were just in time to witness sundown.They watched while admiring it as it slowly started to sink deep into the ocean.

"It is beautiful is it not?" He hums, looking at the older man next to him expectantly.

“It is.” Oda simply replied, nothing more, nothing less.

But regretfully now,  Dazai knew that there’s more deep inside his thoughts. He knew that there’s a reserved blank canvas of Oda’s mind, a place for him paint the sunset with words, carefully crafted words and would make the downfall of the day more alluring than Dazai could comprehend.

Dazai couldn't keep count over how many days had passed since he last saw Odasaku’s warm gaze comfort him. It has been so long that it became nothing more but a distant memory that is just close to his depths of his scarred heart.

His sight is completely set on the scarlet sky, appreciating the way how the setting sun bids goodbye to him. He still wonders until today what kind of words are blooming in his mind. Odasaku never said he wanted to become a writer, until everything was too late. But Dazai remembered clearly when he started to think what does he write inside of his sentimental thoughts.

‘They're surely beautiful.’

And Dazai doesn’t feel anything else but to agree.

His rusty eyes are now transfixed to its changing hues of reds and purples of the late afternoon sky that are followed by the darkness of the night.

If you ask Dazai, however, of how he would describe the dusk , it would depend on which type of person he’s with. Like the series of masks he has, he will give you a different answer as well.

But if you honestly want to see the true answer that's been etched deep inside of him,  it would've been…

“It looks a lot like you, Odasaku.” He says offhandedly.

Oda looked at him, like his word popped him out of his bubble.

Wide eyes stared at the young executive while the said man kept his gaze and purposely not looking at the red head, or else he might falter to let out a laugh. But the taller,  blinks, “I see.” he breathed out and let themselves basked in the welcoming sounds of the crashing waves and watched the crepuscule.

“I mean it by the way. “ he muttered out.

And he truly does .

Dazai can fathom a lot of reasons why, from the obvious one of how the shades of red surrounded the sun that could easily be compared to his paprika hair . How the sunset flares also reminds him of Oda’s eyes that glows with a determined passion to provide and show the light.

To Dazai, he is his light, his sun. The one who provides warmth of the day and shows the beauty and grace of the never ending sky from dusk and dawn.

But the setting sun seems to fit him the best.

Not because of Oda’s features, for he just said that he is the sun himself. He realizes that it's mainly because even the time of the sunset is limited itself. As long the sun doesn’t drown deeper in the horizon, it’s your last chance to for you to be leaded back home before the shadows covers your way and be swallowed by the night.

In his previous lives, that’s exactly what happened. Before he was consumed by the abyss of hell, Oda came and became his sunset. His last chance to leave the darkness and live towards the life filled with a bittersweet light. And he took it willingly.

Now however, he doesn’t reach for it.

He strays away. Away so there won’t be any sunset to fill the hollow sky or to witness it slowly goes away again and again in his eyes. There won't be a sun to provide a day and afternoon but only a haunted starless night will be present in this life. His lip quirked into a frown before moving his eyes away from the setting sun and drifted his field of vision to the farthest surface of the earth his eyes could reach instead.

God, he keeps thinking about him too much. It hurts, it hurts too bad to miss him terribly, terribly so and the setting sun doesn’t do anything to help. His fist clenches, he then look towards the gap and finds the lonesome ground waiting for him.

Every recollection he has of them that he yearned very terribly started to plague him mind. It must be because he already decided, that this would be the fated day he would die. Death that he mourned for so many year is finally within arms reach. Maybe that's why the his world decided to drag time and let Dazai bask himself with these painful memories.

It's doesn't sound wrong.

He knows that his world thrives on schadenfreude towards it and manipulates his own corrupted being.  But he let's it, he let's this sadistic life of his toy with the masochistic devil inside of him like a puppet once more. But ironically,  he hates pain. He hates these abrasions that are gripping his insides torturously that he desperate wished that he had a knife for to stab himself to be relieved from the agony.

But he still continues. He willingly delves deeper in a past that would never be reversed by his own hands despite the power he has.  And he relives them, no matter how it make him feel like throwing up, he relives to them, even if it breaks him slowly . He relives them,  because in the clarity of its cruelty , beside it was beauty and color.

And it was addicting.

The phenomenon light rays scatter, bursting beautiful shades out of the scarlet sky.  Oda did just that in Dazai's own monochromatic life. In the midst of death and violence, the quiet comfort,  futile conversation they had at Lupin was enough to tint his sights to see the colors in his life. Sure it doesn't satisfy the lonely hole he has, nothing will ever will, but it doesn't also mean he won't value the things they did. He had something for him to hold on into and let these selfish desires have a purpose. This last moment of his, how he's constantly thinking of him proves that alone.

He believes that it made him human .

“So Odasaku, how was your job?”

“How are you holding up, Odasaku?”

“ Odasaku are you alright?”

“Odasaku-”

Odasaku, Odasaku ,Odasaku-

As his voices started compiling in his mind, filling it like replacing the oxygen in his body, the overwhelming asphyxiation invading his sense. His thoughts kept chanting his name like a mad prayer.

“Why are you so obsessed protecting this world?” Akutagawa's voice snaps him out of his thoughts.

Why?

Dazai kept himself from scoffing bitterly,

The answer is simple.

“This is the only world where he reads and writes a novel.”

The last ray of sunlight is about to came into close. He has to go soon and join the beautiful sun to drown themselves in the shadows of Yokohama. City lights however, are coming, not letting the shadows around Yokohama conquer every structures. It's a bit poetic really. Atsushi and Akutagawa are the world's new light, they would protect the book and will ensure it's safety.

But the tall building of the dark Port Mafia’s shadows is enough to consume him whole and take his sins and finally be punished.

Come and think about it,

It was afternoon and the sun is about to set at that fateful day .

He unconsciously brought himself back at the time where he held Odasaku’s dying body in his arms. The last glow of his skin that was seeping away life along with his warmth. The moment where Odasaku gave out his last breath and told him things that let Dazai walk towards the path of light.

‘Save the weak, and protect the orphans.’

Dazai turns around and faces the two once more. He could feel the heat wrapping around his body. It feels too nostalgic as the warmth that lingers in the corners of his body, as if tantalizing it to be Odasaku’s warmth that he will never experience again and will yearn forever in the eternity of the ice piercing death.

He lets out a shaky laugh.

He first looks at the detective. Despite being used to see him clothed in black, Dazai couldn't help but admit that the lighter colors suited Akutagawa well . It felt like the weight has been carried in his shoulders are lesser and more breathable than his other selves have.Odasaku really did patiently teach him as there's a light that are now reflected in his eyes.

He then looks at Atsushi.  He can't deny the fact that he did hurt him with his manipulative tendencies,  in fact it did worsen the undeserving broken boy at all. But it was for the sake of this world. He cannot apologize. After all, in the end, he guaranteed that Atsushi would be bathed in the light once more just like his other selves were and probably a little bit more better.

He cannot justify himself for the despicable crimes he committed in this timeline. But in the end, just like he said,  he will take all of these sins with him and purge them in the deserving punishment they would receive.

No one would forget his crimes, but they will all move on to a better rail.

Atleast, he could say that he still fulfilled the oath he vowed that day,  just in his own twisted way.

The only thing that's changed was that he fixed the fate and let the true deserving person to die in front of the setting sun.

‘Me’

Unlike him , the one who truly values human life and settled his heart in the right place will continue on living . The world where Odasaku is living in the light and will shine others paths in the right direction and claim his well worth legacy.

Even the Agency and to the others he has somewhat cared for…

Will at least be happy or content, even without him.

“I can't let a world like that disappear.” he finally says as he let's the last chapter of his life come into close.

Maybe the agency and the others who knew him in the previous life will mock him at how stupid he is.

That's fine.

Maybe the other Odasaku's in the different worlds would be disappointed at him…

…

The wind strengthen and his body felt light and was tilted towards the back as he was pushed and fell.

“This is it,” He mutters as the adrenaline in his body pumped faster by each matter of second, “The moment I've been waiting for. I looked forward to it, truly…” And he smiles with closing those tired eyes and expel every burnt out emotions.

Like that, peace was glazed in his face.

And like that, he finds a dream inside those lids.

“I only have one regret.” He unconsciously says.

In a soundless dream, he sees Odasaku inside of a kitchen, holding a pen, a manuscript resting in his table. He wonders what type of novels he will write? Then it dawned on him,

“I can't read the novel he would one day complete.” He breathed out as he can hear the rushing wind kept chanting for death.

It truly is a shame, “I… I regret that a little now.” He says as he kept picturing Odasaku writing the novel he longs to tell. The light has faded,  the world was gone, Dazai numbed his senses as he stopped caring about anything anymore.

Except him .

He can see it but not perfectly, as his face was blurred out in his imagination.

What would Odasaku expression be? Would he be confused? Tired? Was there a smile curved in his lips? Are his soft eyes glowing with thoughts as he will write down to convey a story into life?

Before he met total darkness, he wants to imagine and see Odasaku's face one last time.

He wants to open his eyes once more to look at the setting sun that resembles a man name Oda Sakaunosuke .

He took a deep breath.

.

.

.

But when he open his eyes it all went black.

[yuseirra]

the SlapCircle is hilarious (≧▽≦) (norman would never! At most he'd probably end up with a pat uwu) also. Is that a SPOILER?? Or is the new chap out?? (I scrolled quickly past just in case XD) (p.s can i stay anon? Because I only use tumblr to sometimes browse fandoms. also, no rush on answering, i know you'd always reply, in fact you're probably the quickest to reply my ask! sometimes people wouldn't even reply, but not you, so i don't mind waiting! Take your time! ♡)

I can’t imagine him hurting her either!// He’d rather hurt himself than hurt Emma that’s what I see ;v;//

Um, YEAH that post earlier with norman and emma!!! those were actually legit panels from the manga chapters!!! i SCREAMED!! WHEN I saw that post and went around looking if there were new spoilers out there and I’m not sure if the full thing’s out yet or if it’s just a preview but omygod things are INTENSE it seems painful but really fun too. I’m glad I started reading tpn when there’s some major action coming along and this is apparently going to be the final arc?? I wonder how many chapters are left but I’m assuming it’s not that many.

I see several things happening and this could either go very tragic or very hopeful idk but I hope it’s going to be the latter ugh I totally see things going bittersweet but I want happy not bittersweet. Not for the finale. Make it an happy ending please and I also want a good story. A lot of the stories I signed up for started out great but had a mediocre ending;;;; I think tpn had intriguing writing so far so I’m not that worried but still, I hope the ending feels satisfying for the reader and that it’s wrapped up well! The first arc was amazing. I hope the final arc feels that complete and good too!

About you sending me asks, //yes, it’s fine by me! :) I actually prefer chats staying personal between people that are involved (since if the asks are on anon, I have to answer them publicly and have it up on my blog, and my other followers will constantly see us chatting on their dashes ‘v’;;) but I’ve been enjoying your asks and it’s not that much of a problem for me.

Even if I don’t reply you soon, don’t worry! :) I’m sure the people who don’t don’t mean anything bad either.. sometimes people are too overwhelmed or tired or occupied to reply to every single asks they get, and from my experience it’s usually not about the sender, but the receiver’s circumstances that makes it hard to answer. I can’t promise you that I can be always this responsive myself because!! depending on how busy I am I may not be able to read msgs as fast- not just for you but for all my friends! I keep missing dms and group chats- but I can say for sure that I don’t mean to ignore kind messages!! ‘v’)9 And like I said in the tags last time, getting asks gives me an opportunity to talk to someone about my feelings towards something!!// It’s very exciting to have someone to share those with because I’m an emotional person!!

I hope you enjoy the new spoilers I’m happy that- that new scene is a thing at least it made me cry inside a little but to SEE SOMETHING LIKE THAT IN OFFICIAL, it’s great. It also makes me feel like my interpretations weren’t that off either because I’d hate to be inaccurate with it..! Norman.. norman.. Emma.. Ray.. I bet Ray’d be so done with Norman rn, both his friends keeps putting their life in danger

tpn is fun. Have a nice day! :)

[thegeminisage]

alright im about to watch 5.03 of merlin for the 2nd time ever

because if i dont do it now i may NEVER GET ANOTHER CHANCE

but first i wanna get out of the way that i thought merlin convincing arthur to keep the ban on magic in 5.05 because he was trying to thwart ~*~destiny~*~ or whatever is the laziest writing ever, it’s unsatisfying for the audience, it renders the rest of the last season utterly pointless, it’s unfair to merlin and arthur, and the tonal shift of the show from farting trolls in season 2 to full greek tragedy in season 5 was completely unwarranted and i feel TRICKED as a human person because i expected the end to be bittersweet and make me sad, not table-flipping angry, and i do not at all have high hopes for the finale

but i can ignore something having a “bad last five minutes” i did it for life is strange and final fantasy 13-2 i will do it for merlin but honestly 

speaking on 5.03, after it was over the first time i was like “i can never write my fanfic now because nothing i ever do will be as good as that” but i’m really relieved in that way that that was apparently the last good episode of merlin because now i can continue my work in peace and maybe hopefully even actually finish it

okay commence the liveblog:

love that arthur and merlin are down to just jump off their horses whenever random women start screaming in the distance. season 5 could have been so good, they’re so much more grown up and in sync with one another, i absolutely LOVE their #vibe

it was interesting to me also that arthur DEMANDED a fair trial for this woman despite her being accused of sorcery. god, he was SO CLOSE?? that hatred of magic just can’t really take root in him especially with uther gone...arthur may be an asshole in the early seasons, and he may be quick to anger and quick to lash out in that anger, but it’s just not in him to be cruel, especially needlessly

EVEN THIS LADY IS LIKE “u showed kindness and compassion” arthur is a Good Boy deep down he is he IS he didn’t care a bit about that horn she gave him but still politely said it was beautiful

although lmao the way his face changed when she said it was magic...that’s the STUFF

lowkey losing it at athony head in the credits. i was looking to see if he’d be in the s5 ones since he’s dead and didn’t see him in 5.01 or 5.02 so when i DID see him in 5.03 i was like haha no way did they pay to put him in here i guess i just missed him the first couple of times BUT I WAS WRONG

like, in buffy, they spend an entire episode trying to decide whether or not to necromance their mom or whatever and she doesnt actually APPEAR IN THE EP they never SEE her i thought this would be an episode ABOUT uther i didn’t think uther would be IN it

love that from the get-go arthur’s face screams “i am thinking about making a terrible mistake” and merlin’s face is like “he is thinking about making a terrible mistake”

i’m quite proud of merlin in s5 actually. bad writing aside he uses multiple braincells many times per episode. it’s a vast improvement. same energy as clary from shadowhunters right down to getting shafted in his final season

ive said it before and ill say it again gwen looks SOOO GOOOOD as queen

if this is the anniversary of uther’s death then (if you go by 1 season = 1 year) arthur just turned 30...it’s been nine years and change since merlin met him, and by the end of season 5 it will have been an entire decade

in an otherwise increddibly heavy episode arthur panicking and throwing all the apples out of the bowl so he could cover the horn with it is absolutely priceless. season 5 if nothing else has really hammered home for me what a TERRIBLE liar arthur is - merlin got good at it fast out of necessity but arthur can’t hold a poker face to save his LIFE. “leave it.” “why??” “because i’m telling you to and i’m the king of camelot” buddy......

we were ROBBED. if there had ever been a day where arthur came to accept merlin’s magic but still had to help merlin hide it there could have been an entire episode of arthur nearly blowing merlin’s cover because he’s a nervous nelly and at the end he goes “i cant believe you have had to do this 24/7 for YEARS without a single friend to help you” and merlin goes “well now i have you” anyway.

i love also that repeatedly when arthur goes to do something scary by himself he also brings merlin. they LITERALLY are two halves of a whole

“you’re threatening me with a spoon??” i can’t tell you about the unfortunate fanfics i have seen involving The Spoon. i shall also not mention the ones involving The Glove. we will not speak of it

I CANNOT BELIEVE STONEHENGE IS IIN MERLIN. i got so agitated i did not pay one bit of attention to the conversation following its reveal and me and cathy and had to rewind so i could listen properly

my hate-on for stonehenge goes thusly: stonehenge apocalypse, starring misha collins, is @callowyn‘s favorite movie. i have seen it 45 times. i hate it nearly as much as she loves it. it’s an age-old battle

merlin is so intense when he looks for signs in arthur that he DOESN’T totally hate magic...arthur using magic to see his dad again is one of those signs. he’s willing to turn to it in desperation - maybe he’d be willing in less desperate times too

“my father was taken from me before his time” i mean...he was practically in a coma. so like. he wasn’t

love that when arthur mentions merlins dad ONCE he immediately looks like he’s about to cry. mood. i also want to cry every time i think about merlins dad

up until the moment i laid eyes on uther i was SURE they werent actually gonna do it. i came into this thinking it was a FLASHBACK EP

for the record (and believe me i NEVER thought i’d say this) even though i waited and waited for his demise and cheered when he was gona for good...i really missed uther in season 4. at least with uther you know what you’re getting. agravaine (his replacement as “evil guy who keeps us from being able to solve our problems too easily”) was a slimy cowardly CREEP. and in season 5 i WISH things were as simple as “work around uther’s pigheaded unreasonableness”

for a hot second i really thought uther and arthur would have a nice conversation where they reconciled or said something heartwarming. i was worried about an uther redemption arc - this guy is responsible for the genocide of magic users, he doesn’t deserve redemption - but this show said NOT TODAY and they said it QUICK

WE

ARE

SO

BLESSED

i have A LOT of issues with season 5 but JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THIS WAS DADDY ISSUES 2.0 BROUGHT BACK FROM THE DEAD

repressed trauma returns: harder better faster stronger!! that’s the STUFF

was i not just speaking the other day on my fanfic ask meme about how i love emotionally intense stuff? this is IT babey

uther’s such a bad father! he’s with his only child again for the last time in ever and all he does is tear him a new one! this is why arthur’s such a fucked-up human being (morgana too) 

i’m THRILLED we got to revisit this. his eyes get bigger and bigger and he starts fucking stammering and by the time uther’s done calling him weak and a failure he looks ready to CRY. i was HOLLERING. i still couldnt believe uther was even HERE and not only is he HERE he’s a WRECKING BALL

“this CAN’T be the last time i’ll ever see you” oh buddy you’re gonna wish it was

and he looks back, as he leaves. of COURSE he does. just like lot’s wife. so it goes.

you know how at the end of every supernatural episode sam and dean debrief and talk about their feelings in the car? for merlin and arthur it’s almost always done around a campfire at night - sometimes in arthur’s chambers or other places, but usually out here in the wilderness where it’s just the two of them. i’m...really going to miss it, when it’s gone.

“my father doesn’t approve of the way i’ve chosen to rule his kingdom” “you mean YOUR kingdom”

you know i don’t think i really got...like, fundamentally, on a deep level...that merlin fucking HATES uther

i’ve seen him save uther’s miserable life so many fucking times that i thought for merlin it was kind of the way it was with gwen - he feels nothing for him, but he looks after him for arthur’s sake (or as i came to understand later because he’s professor x about the whole thing)

but the way his expression got SO UGLY when arthur revealed that uther just shit-talked him the entire time...holy fuck

between that & some other stuff that happens later it really paints a clearer picture of like...uther’s dead so merlin doesn't have to hold back anymore and he FUCKING HATES HIM?? like obviously he SHOULD bu i just never SAW it before this. merlin LOATHES him. it’s INCREDIBLE to witness when he bore it so silently for so long. maybe even merlin didn’t realize just how much he hated him until now

and not to get too real here but if youve ever been friends with someone who had an abusive/toxic parent or was in an abusive/toxic relationship and you watch them feeling like shit after and they start making excuses for that asshole like “oh yeah he’s right about x” and you just want to find this horrible person and THROTTLE THEM that emotion is like ALL OVER merlin’s face rn. i didn’t actually seriously "”ship”” merlin and arthur until late season 4/early season 5 (i didnt like dislike it i just wasnt actively bothered by a lack of it) and what changed was this vibe. merlin wants to kill uther all over again just because he made arthur feel this way. he’s so fuckijng PROTECTIVE

and he still almost manages to drag a smile out of him via roasting, god bless these 2

ok so i didnt believe this show would actually DO THAT re: putting uther himself in this ep but i was doubly shocked by the fact that he HITCHED A RIDE AND GOT OUT

me shrieking during this entire poltergeist sequence: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD IT’S REALLY HIM?? HOLY FUCK HE IS LITERALLY HAUNTING ARTHUR I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY’RE DOING THIS I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY’RE GIVING US THIS etc etc etc

actually most of that was probably muffled nonsense because i was yelling with both hands over my mouth

percival’s the realest motherfucker on this whole show. dude survives a murder attempt in which he got an AXE lobbed at him by the fucking GHOST of a power-mad genocidal king and he’s like: yeah idk i guess it fell

there was thunder in the bg for this WHOLE ep and i’m Big into it

absolutely CACKLING at the bit where merlin has to ask arthur if he looked back at uther’s spirit. it’s one of those nice big heavy questions - so heavy, in fact, that arthur can’t answer, can’t even LOOK at merlin, either because he’s ashamed or because he’s bugging out or both. you thought this shit was over? it’s never over! daddy issues are a lifelong ride, pal! arthur’s just get to haunt him literally this time. god it’s so fucking good

can i just say? merlin reads that damning silence reeeal well. and it’s a big, heavy thing to know about arthur - but then again he knows all the big heavy things about arthur

the score for this episode is really good too...very suspenseful and good, adds a lot to the atmosphere, keeps it from getting too slow

there’s a hint of merlin’s absolute HATRED of uther in this conversation again - the way his face tightens when he says “uther would do anything to protect his legacy and that makes him dangerous, who knows what he’s capable of now”

and arthur dismisses him because he can’t hear this but merlin almost refuses to leave - and when he DOES leave, he doesn’t take his eyes off arthur for one fucking second. he stares him down all the way out of the room. i don’t think it’s because he’s angry with arthur, per se - he’s angry with uther, and he knows uther in a way arthur never can or will, as someone ruthless who will kill without warning or remorse. he’s afraid of uther and he’s trying to get arthur to be afraid of uther too before it’s too late and LSDKFJGHSLDFJH

if you’re thinking “thats a lot to interpret from one look” yes it is but i’m right. IT’S A BIG, HEAVY LOOK. NICE AND LOADED. love unpacking all of that

i cant believe this dude tried to KILL GWEN like he really is coming after everything that makes arthur happy. im so glad it was merlin that saved her. i really do think merlin is her best friend

multiple times in this serious arthur fidgets when he’s nervous or thinking, usually with his hands near his mouth. i am endeared to him. my poor boy

“i always knew my father could be cruel but why would he do this to gwen when he knows i love her” BECAUSE HE’S CRUEL

merlin knows. merlin knows his cruelty much better than arthur. boy does he know. i’m dying. it’s fine

love that at this part of the ep we slide seamlessly into the “merlin and arthur are both scared shitless” section which was truly one of my favorite things about the s4 opener. they’re both so fucking jumpy and giving each other shit about being frightened and continuing to be frightened anyway. the DELICIOUS IRONY of arthur finally being scared of uther in the way merlin has been scared of uther for Y E A R S oh my god it’s so GOOD

do also love the entire silent conversation they have when deciding what to do about the door. this is what i mean by their upgraded vibe.l in the early seasons merlin wouldn’t have understood and his lack of understanding would have been played for laughs. now they’re totally in sync

here’s the thing, gaius could have made this magic “able to see uther’s ghost” potion for just arthur and he didn’t. he made it for both of them. everything arthur does merlin does. they’re partners in all things. they’re COMPANIONS. and this is why i finally now Ship It. tragic.

you know this is a kind of weird comparison but late seasons arthur reminds me JUST a bit of gwaine. he complains so much less that he sort of has that same “roll with whatever” vibe to him. pretend to faint so you can steal some guy’s dagger? why not. take this foul potion that may kill us? sure, let’s do it. come what may he’s not really fussed. much more unflappable

until he starts getting spooked again LMFAO 

we do love a good pair of spooked dumbasses. this is charming and entertaining.

leon HAD to know they were lying about poetry. he probably thought they were having.......a tryst,

love also that even in this very dire moment merlin does NOT miss the chance to have some fun at arthur’s expense. that’s true friendship

i got jumpscared three separate times during this ep and one of them was when uther was glaring down merlin and arthur in the hallway after leon left

arthur didn’t jump but he did go hunting after him and to his credit he does not look scared. he looks like a man who is trying to deal with his business and get his shit together

merlin made that FACE again when arthur expressed sadness at hunting his own father because all he ever wanted to DO was make him proud

honestly it’s like since he can’t shit-talk uther he just sings arthur’s praises instead like this here is a guy who is just barely holding his tongue about how fuckin pissed he is. i cant believe it

splitting up was the WORST idea. have they not seen scooby doo??

love that when merlin gets cornered by uther’s ghost and gets scared he yells for arthur and when arthur gets scared because his torch blows out he yells for merlin. you fools, why did you SPLIT UP

uther locks arthur in the room with him, which is already some top tier content, but doubly good? it’s the same room in which arthur nearly ran him through in 2.08. don’t think i didn’t notice. i did notice. i was shrieking into my hands.

seriously this is a pretty calm liveblog but the first time i watched this ep my face was like this the whole time: O O

just kept going “HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK OH MY GOD” over and over. it was greeat

“arthur your fatal flaw is that you put too much trust in other people” do you think arthur, who now has a complex about people betraying him, ever forgot that for one second in his entire life afterward? me neither

speaking of 2.08 arthur dropped some FACTS “your hatred comes from fear” i'm sure they didn’t do it on purpose but #throwbacks

i’m fully experiencing human emotion. “i’m not you, i can’t rule like you did” he’s trying SO HARD to fight his way out of that bullshit

also lmao arthur like “then you’ll have to kill me” and uther like “yeah okay” arthur didn’t KNOW how this man was this could have been SUCH a good awakening

AND NOW IT’S TIME

FOR MY FAVORITE PART OF THIS EPISODE

when i say merlin hates uther. WHEN I SAY MERLIN H A T E S UTHER

HIS LINE HERE. ok. “get away from him, uther. you’ve caused enough harm” he’s furious! he’s GROWLING! 

“you are just a serving boy” “i am much more than that” listen. human words cannot express the emotion that ran through me. when they said “we’re gonna bring back anthony head as uther” i doubted. when they said “he’s gonna be the bad guy and reopen all of arthur’s old wounds” i doubted. when they said “he’s still here LITERALLY haunting arthur who now has to HUNT HIM” I DOUBTED. i didn’t believe they’d do any of it until it was happening on my screen. but ONE LOOK at merlins face made a MOTHERFUCKING BELIEVER out of me. i knew exactly what he was about to do. pretty sure i gasped “NO” in astonishment

AND HE DID THAT

HE👏

DID👏

THAT👏

NOT ONLY. DID I SHRIEK ALOUD. FULL SCREAM. WHEN IT HAPPENED THE FIRST TIME. BUT JUST NOW. WHEN I WATCHED HIM DO IT AGAIN. MORE SCREAMING.

how LONG do you think merlin had ACHED to do that

to show himself to uther for what he was, what he REALLY WAS, someone to be reckoned with instead of someone to be overlookedd, without fear of consequences

i can’t even like

like just imagine the triple rush of 1. satisfaction 2. rage 3. lingering habitual terror

i think at this moment merlin was closer to and more like morgana than he had ever been and maybe ever will be again. because the two of them have so much in common but one thing i didn’t really clock until now is how much they both hate uther

it’s so good. uther is SHOCKED and DISMAYED and this is like merlin’s old fear come back from death too (getting found out by uther) while at the same time being a dream come true (getting to tell uther what he really thinks, who he really is - “i was BORN with it!”) he’s so ANGRY! he is LIVID!)

he’s also really SATISFIED like “even while you were king there was magic at the heart of camelot” GOD how long has he been WAITING for this and not even realized it

and like then uther starts spewing his hateful bullshit and stalking forward with the intent to kill and my guy merlin who should be terrified STANDS HIS MOTHERFUCKING GROUND and says right over him “you’re wrong, you’re wrong” for thirty beautiful seconds merlin really got to be free. i know i will keep comparing things to 2.08 until i die but it’s just like when arthur was almost ready to kill uther in cold blood because for one perfect, brilliant moment he really and truly saw clearly the world as it was. i really love these moments...the strength of their respective convictions is so gratifying

merlin yeeting uther through a door is also gratifying although i have no idea what he hoped to accomplish by following without waking arthur first

i. LOVE. that the camera lingered a little on the spears or whatever after merlin walked by them. nice little foreshadowing moment

THOSE SPEARS GOT AWFULLY CLOSE BUT IM PRETTY SURE UTHER MISSED ON PURPOSE BECAUSE HE WANTED TO TAKE HIS TIME. HIS MISTAKE

okay merlin spent the better part of a lifetime dreading uther’s death sentence and here’s uther stalking down a hallway sword pointed at his chest and certain death is IMMINENT and what does merlin’s face look like?

arthur comes in with the rescue and INSTANTLY his expression changes to?

IT’S BETTER IN MOTION BUT HE LOOKS READY TO CRY

my immediate thought: oh jesus what if uther outs him

i knew he wouldnt bc of spoilers but i would bet a benjamin that that was merlin’s first thought too

tbh. i wish he had.

i kind of wonder if merlin doesn’t wish the same thing. like yes being outed like that is terribly violating and he’s terrified of telling arthur obviously or he would have already but at the same time there would be so much relief once it was finally out. no more secret-keeping. no more burden

i mean, if you go back and watch it, dude’s straight up shaking. he’s trembling all over. he’s losing it. that last teary glance they exchanged.......

uther was two SYLLABLES away from blowing the whole thing

and in a better happier canon where arthur knows and was waiting for merlin to tell him this is like double angst because uther wouldve ben blowing something for them both

i like arthurs followup of realizing that he’ll never be able to please uther (step 1 of breaking away from the cycle of abuse) but for the LIFE OF ME

i will NEVER be able to understand why they segued into this GLOVE THING

i’m not talking about the glove thing

i will say however that by the end of this episode i was so hysterical i had to get up and get water and pace around my kitchen for ten minutes fanning my own face

and that’s it. that’s the second-best episode of merlin and the last good episode there ever was