#losing my absolute mind. i have called in reinforcements. it is my sister's turn now.

[usermoreid]

kids choose the strangest hills to die on. why am i beefing with a four year old over fireboy and watergirl

[the-blue-fairie]

On what #bringelsahome COULD BE vs. what it has become...

Sometimes, I become sad because one of the first things I wrote after viewing Frozen 2 was a short ficlet repudiating Elsa’s line in Show Yourself as she was approaching Ahtohallan that “I’m arriving / and it feels like I am home.” You can read that ficlet here if you want to.

In that ficlet, I was expressing frustration with the fact that Show Yourself was connecting the concept of “home” with Ahtohallan and connections found through memory and the past instead of the living, breathing connections that can be found in life. In that ficlet, I was also disputing the film’s concept of change because, as I wrote, “Home is not a lineage, a source, a gift. Gifts are given. Home, you make for yourself. Each step, a step forward. Not into the cold ancestral wonder of Ahtohallan, but into the warmth of the future. Holding tight to those she loved was not the absence of change. It was change itself, each day carving out a new shape, a new bejeweled crystal more fabulous than any on the glacier.” And I ended that ficlet repudiating Ahtohallan and having Elsa turn back to the home she has made in Arendelle with Anna, Kristoff, Olaf, and Sven. It was a ficlet born deeply out of my love of this image:

Now, the scary thing for me now is that there are parallels between my sentiments then and the... what do I call it? aggressive stance?... to #bringelsahome, which is rather unpleasant for me because that aggressive stance has become an excuse for racism and toxicity which I absolutely do not want to be associated with.

 But I’ve been thinking about something that @themountainsays mused about, and that @hb-pickle​ added to, asking what the ultimate goal of #bringelsahome actually is - because if the most hostile people actually wanted to change people’s minds or reach the creators, all they’ve managed to do is burn bridges and undermine their own cause.

I mean, look at me, when it comes to them burning bridges. I have conflicting feelings about F2′s ending and I’ve offered critiques of it - but the loudest members of #bringelsahome won’t look at those critiques because I openly reject the racism and toxicity that they push forward. 

But at the same time, there’s also a part of me that... understands where the basic sentiment to “bringelsahome” comes from and that’s gotten me to thinking about what #bringelsahome could be vs. what it has become.

I have friends who remain devastated by the ending of Frozen 2, and most of these friends have largely left the Frozen fandom either because they simply want to move on to other pastures or, even though they dislike Frozen 2, they’d rather not have any association with BEH - which... can you blame them?

But the pain of these friends, a pain they do not express in a toxic way, speaks to what #bringelsahome could be if it wasn’t rotted to the core by this point by racist rhetoric and aggression.

That pain actually emerges from a deep connection to Elsa and a valuing of Elsa’s connections to other people. These friends I’ve spoken with often reference a deep anguish that Elsa’s journey in Frozen 2 is structured so that she sheds traveling companions across the whole adventure - leaving Kristoff behind, leaving Anna and Olaf behind, going it alone when there is strength in working together and shorts like Frozen Fever and OFA highlight how when this found family works together, it has a positive impact on Elsa.

They wanted to see Elsa trusting Anna’s judgment, not pushing Anna and Olaf away in the ice boat, not falling into the same mistakes she did in the past... and their pain was heightened by the fact that, when Elsa seemed to fall back into those same mistakes, the film never really circled back to that or addressed it again... even when the film went out of its way to point out that Anna and even Olaf was angry. 

And... yes, it’s valid to say that Olaf - the most innocent and childlike character - becoming angry feels like a turning point of some kind... which then goes nowhere and that the film does nothing with. That’s a valid criticism of something that feels disjointed and off about F2.

And... I’d even argue that it’s valid to say that Elsa feels off at times over the course of Frozen 2 - and I’d put that down to, well, Elsa being “too much” for Disney. She means too many things for too many people. Her basic metaphor resonated with countless people - more than Disney ever imagined - and now they have to preserve that popularity, but the writers are trapped within the incredibly restrictive Disney system. They can’t make Elsa openly gay because the Mouse loves making money and making money means appealing to the broadest crowd, including the homophobes. And they want to keep Elsa broadly relatable so they try to lean into he concept of “magic” as an aspect of Elsa’s difference and also “explaining” that magic because certain people wanted an “explanation” for Elsa. 

But the problem with that vague (and therefore, in the film’s hope, broadly relatable) magic metaphor is that it’s vague and, unlike the previous movie, not really tethered to Elsa’s connections with people. The first movie, while it still used the metaphor of “magic as difference” grounded that metaphor in Elsa’s interactions with her sister, with the people of Arendelle, with how other human beings interact with her and the deeply human aspect of Elsa’s love for those other human beings. Frozen 2, in contrast, could have that... but it doesn’t.

I’ve argued several times over that Elsa’s arc in F2 would be stronger if the filmmakers had deeply enriched Elsa’s connection with the Northuldra, gave us more scenes of her bonding with her mother’s people, more scenes that expanded the Northuldra characters’ development. Maybe even start the film out with the deleted prologue focused on Iduna so we get the Northuldra’s perspective right fom the start and we can connect Iduna’s pain with Elsa’s own feeling of otherness.

Frozen 2... only gives a few brief scenes of Elsa with the Northuldra and has her shed members of her found family across the film... so F2 loses a human element that he first film never lost sight of. The “magic-as-difference” metaphor has to work more as metaphor, without the same human emotional grounding as the first film.

And because we don’t get those scenes with Elsa and the Northuldra and the film chooses to have Elsa leave behind members of her found family, I can understand why people would feel Elsa feels off in F2.

Because the film seems to care more about Elsa’s connection to magic than her humanity. That’s why there are several incidences of Elsa bonding with the spirits - and far less of her bonding with Northuldra characters.

This actually speaks to a legitimate, valid critique of the film - and people could use it to point out flaws in the film. Moreover, a critique like this could even be antiracist because it would be advocating for the expansion of the role of the Northuldra and more scenes of Elsa bonding with and learning about her mother’s people.

Critique actually has an important place within fandom - and critique can actually benefit the filmmakers if it is valid and valuable critique. Asking, “Why does F2 seem to care more about Elsa’s magic than her humanity and how does that undermine her arc?” is actually a valuable question. If the filmmakers reflected on it, then in a potential Frozen 3, they could make sure to reject the negative implications of distancing Elsa’s humanity. They could pause to think, “Oh, we didn’t INTEND to suggest this, maybe, but our second film did kind of give those implications, so let’s avoid those implications next time.” By EXPANDING the Northuldra characters. By reinforcing Elsa legitimately working together with her found family instead of feeling she has to go on alone.

That’s what bringelsahome could be - a movement to point out flaws in the film and a better way forward for the betterment of future projects.

Unfortunately, that’s not what it is - since the racism of certain people at its forefront has corroded it from the inside.

But I still find that tragic, because... it could have actually been something valuable. And there are aspects to it that still could be something valuable. And I still know many people out there with legitimate critiques who can’t voice their feelings about F2 because they disagree with Isa’s racism, so it doesn’t matter to Isa if they dislike F2; in her eyes, you’re either with her or against her...

[purplehairedwonder]

Hearts With(out) Chains Chapter 2

Fandom: One Piece Rating: PG-13 Pairings: Gen (eventual Lawlu) Words: 3297 Characters: Trafalgar Law, Penguin, Shachi, Bepo, Jean Bart, Boa Hancock, Emporio Ivankov, Jimbei, Silvers Rayleigh, Donquixote Doflamingo Note: I’m taking my turn at the Corazon!Law AU because my brain won’t leave me alone until this is written down. Tags will be updated as the chapters come out.

The story title is based on the Ellie Goulding song “Hearts Without Chains.”

Summary: Law is reclaimed by the Family when he’s 17 and, with Doflamingo holding the lives of his crew as collateral for his good behavior, eventually becomes the third Corazon. Years later, trapped by his impossible situation, Law can’t help but resent Monkey D. Luffy for offering a glimpse of something he’s repeatedly had ripped away from him: hope.

Previous chapters: Prologue | 1

Read also at AO3 / FF.N

Law stared out over the Calm Belt, the forbidden land of Amazon Lily at his back. His crew puttered about around him, regularly complaining about not being able to go further onto the Isle of Women. Law, for his part, had bigger concerns; despite being on the Calm Belt and in the territory of another Warlord, he still half-expected the familiar sails of one of Doflamingo’s ships to appear on the horizon.

The aged straw hat in his grip felt fragile somehow—like its owner currently was—as Law absently turned it over, the crackling of the woven straw grounding him in a way he couldn’t explain. He wasn’t sure why, but he hadn’t let it out of his sight since it had been thrown his way as the Polar Tang prepared to dive in its escape.

It had been two weeks since Law had rescued Straw Hat Luffy from the battlefield of Marineford; the boy was still unconscious, though Law suspected that was more to do with his spirit than his body at this point. Though Straw Hat’s recovery still had a long way to go, Law felt confident he would survive—physically, anyway. Immediately after the surgery, Law would have given his chances at, optimistically, fifty-fifty, but each day his heart continued to beat in his repaired chest improved his odds.

As for when he’d wake up, well… the teen had suffered an immense trauma, his body falling into unconsciousness as a defense mechanism before Law had even arrived. The emotional pain of losing his brother wasn’t something Law could do anything for. (He was hardly the poster boy for healthy coping mechanisms anyway.)

And so, an entire island waited with bated breath.

The more stable Straw Hat’s condition became, the less Law needed to monitor him, which gave him more time to think; according to his crew, that was never a good thing. They were probably right. Law still had no idea how to explain his actions to Doflamingo. He knew neither he nor his crew would escape this unscathed, but Law found himself contemplating how to minimize the inevitable punishment.

On the day of the execution, Law and his crew had waited aboard the Tang at Sabaody in case Doflamingo called for them, watching the broadcast in the meantime. The moment Straw Hat Luffy had burst onto the battlefield, something had startled in Law’s chest. The revelation that he was not only Fire Fist’s brother but also the son of Dragon had sent shockwaves through the entire archipelago, but as Straw Hat fought for his brother’s life, all Law could think of was that middle initial he’d taken note of at the auction house.

Monkey D. Luffy.

“There have often been people who have the name D. who gained public notoriety, and old people would frown and mutter, ‘D. will surely bring us another storm,’” Cora-san had told him. “And in some places, there are people who call the Family of D. sworn enemy of the gods.”

There was one specific “god” that Law very much wanted to take down, though he was in no position to do so himself.

But maybe…

Well, a storm sure seemed to describe a boy who would punch a Celestial Dragon in the face for harming one of his friends, damn the consequences, and would fight every single Marine, if necessary, to rescue his adopted brother from execution.

And when the broadcast of the battle was cut, the feeling in Law’s chest turned into a tug so insistent that he’d ordered his crew to set sail for Marineford.

“Did Doflamingo call for us, Captain?” Penguin asked once they had submerged.

“No.”

Penguin shot him a confused look. “Then why…?”

But Law hadn’t been able to explain the feeling in his chest, the absolute certainty that he was needed there, until the broadcast returned, and the Hearts watched Fire Fist fall and Straw Hat mortally wounded.

Law knew he’d drawn attention once the Polar Tang surfaced, undoubtedly looking like reinforcements for the Marines as the second-in-command of the Donquixote Pirates, but then he’d called for that idiot clown to give Straw Hat to him—and it had taken less convincing than it probably should have for him to throw Jimbei and Straw Hat down to the Tang. (Coward.) Law had no idea how anyone else, particularly Doflamingo, had reacted, as he’d been hyper-focused on getting his patients below deck with that tug in his chest demanding he act. The arrival of Red Hair had given them room to escape.

Other than removing Amber Lead from his body as a dying teenager who’d only had his Devil Fruit for a few days, the surgery to save Straw Hat was the most difficult of Law’s life. Operating for sixteen hours with Room activated nearly the entire time had completely drained Law—two weeks later, and he was still feeling the effects, his Rooms flickering out quickly when he summoned them—but he knew somehow that nothing less would satisfy the pull in his chest, whatever it was.

Though he would have liked nothing more than to sleep for days afterward, the presence of a Marine ship when the Polar Tang surfaced had forced him to stumble onto the deck and meet the wary eye of Boa Hancock. As he approached the door, he could hear her asking his crew about Straw Hat’s condition.

“I’ve done all I can,” Law said, wiping his hands on a towel as he came out on deck, willing himself upright in the face of another Warlord. “He was in bad shape. It’s up to him and his will to survive now.” He suppressed a grimace as he considered the damage he’d repaired in the boy’s chest. It was a miracle he was still alive by the time Law had gotten to him.

Hancock eyed him, her expression suspicious. It probably should have concerned him, having her full attention like that, but he was too tired to care.

“And why did you help him?” Her eyes narrowed. “Is this another one of Doflamingo’s plots? What does he want with Luffy?”

“I acted on my own.”

“Why?” That was Emporio Ivankov, who’d jumped down from the Marine vessel. Law, long past the point of wondering where these people were coming from, idly marveled at Straw Hat Luffy having friends like a current and former Warlord and a high-ranking Revolutionary (in addition to a father leading the Revolutionaries) that they would track Law to check on his condition but pushed it aside for another time. “Are you a friend of Straw Hat Boy?”

“No.” Law frowned. He might not be a believer anymore, but he’d been raised with religion and those teachings had never fully left him. The pull in his chest had felt like a sign—something the sisters at school would have said was important to follow. But these people didn’t need to know that. “It was a whim, nothing more.”

“A whim,” Hancock echoed flatly.

But Ivankov chuckled knowingly in a way that made Law feel transparent somehow. “Sometimes instinct drives us to do unexpected things.”

Despite her—entirely appropriate, Law knew—misgivings at working alongside the second-in-command of another Warlord, Hancock had brought the Hearts to Amazon Lily, leaving Straw Hat’s treatment in Law’s hands. It was likely Jimbei’s presence that gave Hancock any peace of mind at Law’s presence.

Law looked up when he heard a light cough. He shook himself as Jimbei came up next to him; he’d been so caught up in his reverie, he hadn’t noticed the former Warlord’s approach.

“May I sit?”

Law grunted, which Jimbei took as acquiescence. He sat down and allowed silence settle between them before breaking it.

“Will you be in trouble with your boss for helping Luffy?” he asked.

Law’s eye twitched. “I fail to see how that’s any of your concern.”

“I was thrown in Impel Down for refusing to fight alongside the other Warlords at Marineford,” Jimbei said. “The World Government won’t appreciate another Warlord’s second-in-command rescuing two enemies out from under their nose.”

Law found his grip tightening around the straw hat in his hand and loosened his fingers. Jimbei hadn’t said anything Law didn’t already know. “What is your point, Jimbei-ya?”

“Doflamingo won’t be pleased.”

“Unlikely,” Law agreed.

“But you will return to him.” It wasn’t a question.

Law looked out toward the Tang, where the boy still slept. “When Straw Hat-ya is well enough, yes.”

“Is that a good idea?”

Law huffed a humorless laugh, returning his gaze to Jimbei. “Whether it’s a good idea or not is irrelevant. When Straw Hat-ya no longer requires my care, I will return to Dressrosa and my captain.” He knew better than anyone that there would be consequences for his actions—and that he had no choice but to face them.

Though he knew there would be consequences for what he’d done, it was Doffy’s silence over the last two weeks that left Law the most off-balance. He’d expected the man to bombard Law with calls, if not follow Law himself; the Calm Belt would be little more than an inconvenience in the face of what he wanted.

But there had been nothing.

He supposed this was one of Doflamingo’s mind games. He would force Law to reach out to him first, to crawl back to him, draped in repentance. Doflamingo undoubtedly felt secure in Law’s eventual return because he forced Law to leave at least three members of his crew behind whenever he went out on a mission. Currently, Ikkaku, Clione, and Uni were back in Dressrosa. Law had felt comfortable leaving them since he’d expected the trip to Sabaody to be quick, an errand he could handle with minimal backup. That had been nearly a month ago. And Doflamingo was right; Law wouldn’t abandon his nakama, so even if he went dark for weeks, the Warlord could be confident his second would return.

Law just hoped those three hadn’t already been punished for his actions.

Jimbei frowned and opened his mouth to say more, but he was interrupted by a banshee scream coming from the Polar Tang.

“Ace!”

In mere moments, Straw Hat had somehow escaped the infirmary on the Tang (Law tried not to think about what he would find when he boarded his ship again) and made his way to land. As Straw Hat rampaged through the camp, Law caught a look at his face and flinched. The wide-eyed, glassy expression of grief over a pain too great to process was one Law was intimately familiar with; he’d worn it himself, first after Flevance and again after Cora-san.

“Where’s Ace?”

Law’s crew chased after the raging teen, trying to calm him down. Law exchanged looks with Jimbei.

“What’ll happen if we just leave him like that?” Jimbei asked as Straw Hat threw off Law’s crewmates and stormed further inland.

Law sighed, weariness hitting him square in the chest. “It’s simple. If he reopens his wounds, he could die.”

Jimbei grimaced and pushed himself to his feet. “I’ll go.”

“Your wounds could also reopen,” Law pointed out. Not that anyone seemed to care about his professional opinion.

“Better me than him.”

Law blinked at Jimbei’s back as the former Warlord followed Straw Hat’s path. He shook his head, once more wondering at the allies Straw Hat found himself with, and turned away. He continued looking out over the water, clenching his jaw at the sounds of Straw Hat’s rampage in the forest. He suppressed the urge to cover his ears, the pained sounds echoing through him and digging at Law’s own shallowly buried grief.

Eventually, the cacophony faded out, leaving the cliffside eerily quiet. His crew started moving around once more, though they were subdued in the wake of what they’d just witnessed.

“What the hell is that?” Shachi said suddenly, pointing out over the water.

Law frowned. There was some kind of commotion in the bay. What the hell?

“Is that a Sea King?” Penguin asked, joining Shachi.

“Is something fighting it?” Shachi yelped as Bepo and Jean Bart came up behind him.

The commotion came to an end almost as quickly as it started. One moment, the beast was thrashing violently, the next it was still.

“It’s dead,” Jean Bart murmured. “What could do that in the Calm Belt?”

There was a splash just below the cliff. Looked like they were going to find out. Law readied himself to make a Room—it wouldn’t be as big as usual and wouldn’t last long, but it would be something—but dropped his hand as Silvers Rayleigh climbed over the ledge, dripping water. Law watched the man warily as he explained that he’d swum through the Calm Belt. Monster.

Eventually, Rayleigh’s gaze turned back to Law. “You’ve created quite the stir, saving Luffy like that.” He smiled, though there was something in his eyes that made Law straighten. “Luffy is here, right?”

“I doubt you would have come all this way unless you knew the answer to that question already, Rayleigh-ya,” Law replied.

Rayleigh chuckled. “Fair enough. How is he?”

Law studied the older pirate for a moment then made a decision. “He just woke up. He’s still in rough shape; he’ll need to rest for at least two more weeks so his wounds close properly.” The grief, on the other hand, would take much longer to heal, but Law left that unsaid. Someone like Rayleigh would know that well.

Rayleigh nodded thoughtfully. “But his life is out of danger?”

“As long as he lets his wounds close, yes.”

“Good.”

Law’s lips twitched. “I take it we’re being dismissed, Rayleigh-ya?”

Rayleigh outright laughed at that. “Well, that’s not how I would have put it.”

“But you’re here to take over,” Law surmised.

“I’m here to offer Luffy a proposal.”

“And you expect him to accept. I get it.” Law pushed himself to his feet and closed the gap with Rayleigh. He held out the straw hat.

Rayleigh’s expression turned distant for a moment before he came back to himself and took the proffered object with understanding.

“Two weeks,” Law reiterated. “If he pushes it, he could die.” And Law didn’t want the danger he’d selfishly put his crew into to be for nothing.

-----

Once the Polar Tang had set sail, Bepo setting their course based on their eternal pose to Dressrosa, Law grabbed the long-range Den Den Mushi and retreated to his cabin. He placed it on his desk and stared at it as he debated how to approach the call. He wasn’t sure how long he sat there, but he started when there was a knock at his door.

“Captain?”

Law’s shoulder’s slumped at Bepo’s voice. “Come in,” he replied.

The door opened, revealing Bepo, Shachi, and Penguin. The trio filed into Law’s room, shutting the door behind them. Law swiveled in his desk chair to face them.

“Calling him?” Shachi asked, gesturing at the snail.

Law nodded. “Can’t put it off any longer.”

“What will you say?” Bepo asked.

Law’s mouth moved but nothing came out. He shook his head. “I don’t know,” he finally admitted. “I caused him a lot of trouble, and he’s going to be furious. But he won’t take it out on me.” Not all of it, anyway.

“We’re with you, Law.”

Law blinked at the use of his given name; he was so used to hearing his title, even from his crew, that his name sounded odd even to his own ears. It made the already-tight ball of guilt in his chest clench.

“I made a selfish choice, and now you guys are going to pay for it. I’m sorry.”

“Why did you save him?” Bepo asked. There was no judgment in his oldest friend’s eyes, just curiosity and trust.

“It was…” Law cast about the best way to describe the tug in his chest because if anyone deserved the truth, it was these three. “It was just a feeling,” he finally settled on. It sounded lame to his own ears as he said it. “I don’t know how to explain it. Like something was telling me it was important.”

The other three exchanged looks, and Law felt his stomach drop. It wasn’t good enough, not for the danger he’d put them in…

“Okay,” Bepo said after a moment.

“Okay?” Law echoed, taken aback.

“Okay,” Penguin confirmed.

“If you thought it was important, then we trust you,” Shachi added. “You’re our captain, Doflamingo be damned.”

“The others feel the same,” Penguin added. “We’ll be okay, Captain. Whatever happens.”

Fuck. What had Law done to deserve them?

Once the trio left his cabin, Law turned back to the Den Den Mushi on his desk. He took a breath and dialed the familiar number. It rang longer than Law expected, but he knew this was another of Doffy’s games, making sure Law would stay on the line—as though he didn’t have the ultimate bargaining chip for Law’s loyalty already. Finally, the other man picked up.

“Well, well. If it isn’t the prodigal son. I was starting to worry, Corazon.”

“My apologies, Young Master,” Law replied, deciding deferential was his best tone at the moment. “I called as soon as I was able.”

Doflamingo snorted. “I’m sure you did.” In other words, he knew Law was lying, but he didn’t care enough to challenge the lie. “Where are you?” he asked instead.

“En route to Dressrosa,” Law said, debating how much to reveal of his whereabouts for the last two weeks. Would Hancock reveal Law had been there? Doflamingo would be furious if he heard it from her first. On the other hand… Law decided to err on the side of sharing as little as possible; it made the most sense for Hancock to keep Straw Hat’s presence a secret, as allying—or even appearing to ally—with a rival pirate crew was enough to cost a Warlord their status. “We should be there within the week.”

“And Dragon’s son?”

“Alive. As is Jimbei.” No point in lying about that.

Doflamingo made an impressed sound. “Straw Hat took direct hits from Kizaru and Sakazuki, and you were able to save him? I should really stop being surprised by your abilities after all these years, Corazon.”

Law hummed in response, recognizing the trap in Doflamingo’s words. Nothing he could say here would turn out well for him, whether he accepted the praise or demurred; no response was his best option.

“As impressive as your skills as a doctor are,” Doflamingo went on when he realized Law wasn’t rising to the bait, “they’ve caused me some serious problems.”

And there it was. Law needed to tread very carefully here.

“I had to convince the World Government that my subordinate acted on his own and that I was still a good little Warlord.” His voice had turned into a sneer, and Law could picture the bulging vein in his forehead. “And promise my subordinate would be appropriately disciplined for his indiscretion.”

“Of course,” Law said. “I’m sorry for causing you difficulties, Young Master. I will, of course, accept my punishment.”

Doflamingo chuckled, though there was no warmth to it. “I’m sure you will. You’re ever the loyal one, aren’t you, Law?”

Law’s breath caught in his throat, his body going cold.

“See you in a week.” With that Doflamingo hung up.

Doflamingo had stopped using Law’s name when he became an executive four years ago, even in private, so hearing it now… His tone was such a contrast to the way his friends had used his name less than an hour earlier, theirs so full of warmth and trust while Doflamingo’s was full of implication and threat…

Law ran a tired hand over his face. “Fuck.”

Next chapter

[lover-of-many-things]

I would follow you anywhere

(So I finally wrote a Supercorp fanfiction. Only took me four years. It’s short and cute and dumb and inspired by this tumblr post

Read it on ao3 here)

She was in jeans and a now ruined t-shirt under a flannel with black hair that was in a messy bun on top of her head, but what really struck Kara were her eyes. A beautiful green, but one slightly more blue than the other—she could spend hours trying to mix colors to match them perfectly. Kara swore she was in love—that easily.

A cute little college au inspired by a tumblr post

                                     ---------------------------------------------

Kara was stressed. She had five finals this week and had only studied for one of them so far. She knew she should have started studying over the weekend, but her friends roped her into a movie marathon. She already had a hard enough time denying her friends at any given time, but add on free snacks and movies and she was a goner. 

So when she woke up on Monday, cuddling a half empty chip bag from the night before, she jolted out of bed. Checking the time—11:30—she hurriedly jumped into the shower. Luckily, Monday was her only free day this week, but she had wanted to be up early this morning to get one of the study rooms at the library. They always filled up incredibly quickly during finals and Kara had a hard time studying outside of the designated study rooms; even the gentle whispering was too loud for her to concentrate. 

Half an hour later, Kara was dressed in a casual t-shirt and joggers, not wanting to wear jeans for the long steady session she was preparing for, with her hair up in a loose ponytail. She ran into the kitchen and quickly made a lunch that she could just eat in the library while she studied. She’d probably still be hungry, but the sandwich she made would be enough to tide her over until dinner. 

She grabbed her books, bag, phone, and keys, and she hurried out of her apartment, texting her roommate, Nia, that she’d be gone all day studying and to not expect her back until late. The weather outside was beautiful, Kara noted. Spring was in full swing and she’d much rather be going on a run than to the library, but then she’d further have to face the consequences of her actions. She wanted to avoid that confrontation at all costs, especially if Alex and Eliza caught wind of it. The disappointment of her adoptive sister and mother was not something she ever liked to experience.

She crossed the street onto National City University campus and enjoyed the feel of the afternoon sun on her skin. She started in the direction of the library when a food truck caught her eye. Food trucks were pretty common on campus, especially around finals, but this particular food truck—Just Desserts— was a rarity. It was only ever on campus twice a semester at most and no one ever knew when it would show up, but it had the best desserts. It was Kara’s white whale. 

She glanced down at the time on her phone, towards the library, and then back towards the food truck with a steadily growing line. Screw it. She already wasn’t going to get a private study room, so she may as well get as many desserts as possible to help as future rewards for studying. She hurried over to join the line and hoped they wouldn’t be out of everything by the time she was up to order.

Thankfully, since it was literally just desserts, the line moved pretty quickly, and Kara was happy to see that only one item had been crossed off the menu board so far. Finally, it was Kara’s turn to order. She only looked over the menu for a moment. 

“Hi!” She smiled brightly, “could I just get one of everything that you have left?” The cashier didn’t even look up from the IPad, tapping in the order when she spoke.

“Finals, huh?” She told the chef the order over her shoulder before facing Kara again. “That’ll be $28.” 

Kara laughed and nodded. “Yeah. I need something to incentivize me.” Kara handed over her card, paid, and stood off to the side. A few minutes later the cashier called her order out, and she quickly squeezed through the line of people to grab it.

“I’d eat the parfait first if I were you, it doesn’t last that long in the sun.” Kara took the plastic bag full of various desserts from her.

“Thanks!” She hurried away from the food truck, taking out the red berry parfait and started eating it. She really was hungry, and though it was light, the berries really hit the spot on a spring afternoon. Side mission completed, she walked towards the library with regained fervor, intermittently taking a bite of parfait as she walked. 

It was as she was looking down to take one of her intermittent bites that another body collided with hers. The plastic cup her parfait was resting in cracked and shattered, the contents getting everywhere. “Fuck!” Kara only looked up at the sound of the curse and was met with the sight of the most beautiful woman she had ever seen, covered in red berry parfait. 

She was in jeans and a now ruined t-shirt under a flannel with black hair that was in a messy bun on top of her head, but what really struck Kara were her eyes. A beautiful green, but one slightly more blue than the other—she could spend hours trying to mix colors to match them perfectly. Kara swore she was in love—that easily.

Kara didn’t realize she had been absolutely still and staring until the woman grabbed both of her hands, still covered in parfait remnants along with the rest of her. If Kara thought the sight of her eyes was enough to get lost in, she was woefully unprepared for the voice that was about to speak up. 

“I’ll never be sorry enough, but you look so beautiful....I have to go.” There was a soft, beautiful lilt to her voice, an accent of some kind, but Kara couldn’t pinpoint it in that brief moment. Before Kara could even comprehend what had happened to reply, the woman dropped her hands and ran off through campus, still covered in bits of parfait.

Kara blinked for a few moments, registering what had just happened. She looked down at her now ruined shirt, to the parfait on the ground, and to her hands still held out in front of her from where the stranger had grabbed them.  Beautiful....she called me beautiful. Kara’s mouth opened and closed a few times as she processed this information. Part of her was still stuck on the fact that she no longer had a parfait. 

Another student shouldered by her in a rush to enter the library, knocking her out of her stupor. “Right,” she mumbled to herself, “studying.” She grabbed a napkin from the bag of desserts she had and cleaned up as well as she could before heading into the library. As predicted, all of the private studying rooms were taken, so Kara just grabbed the nearest available table and spread her books across it. She was determined to get some work done, ready to put in place her tried and true incentive based studying method. She just didn’t take into account thoughts of green eyes and a lovely voice filling her head.

                                              ----------------------

She tried to study. She really did. She opened the books and her notes and she read them over, but nothing seemed to stick. The only thing she could think of was the stranger who ran into her and waxing poetic about her certainly wasn’t going to be the answer to anything on her journalism exam. It had been three hours and nothing; she’d already gone through half of her snacks and her sandwich. Lacking the motivation she slid her phone out to text Alex. 

Kara

Help meeeeee :((

It only took a few minutes for her sister to respond.

Alex

Shouldn’t you be studying?

Kara huffed at the reply.

Kara

What if I was actually in some kind of danger?

Alex

Are you?

Kara

....no :( 

Alex

Then shouldn’t you be studying?

Kara

I’m tryingg but studying’s hard :((( I didn’t get one of the private study rooms and then a pretty girl destroyed my parfait and I can’t stop thinking about her and how I’ll never see her again :((((

Alex

Ew, Kara. What kind of euphemism is that? You fucked in the library???? Do you know how many fluids there probably are floating around there?

Kara immediately flushed at her sister’s text, her mind involuntarily flashing with images. She quickly sent out a series of texts to deny her sister’s thoughts.

Kara

NO !!!!!!!!!!!!

I meant it literally !!!!!!

She ran into me and I dropped the parfait I was eating :((( but she was so pretty and called me beautiful and I think I’m in love

Alex

.............

This would literally only happen to you. I don’t know what to tell you. 

Kara

Tell me I’ll see her again and then to start studying again.

Kara could practically feel Alex sigh on the other side of the conversation, but she thought that maybe the reinforcement from her big sister would help her concentrate.

Alex

Fine. You’ll see her again. She probably studies for finals too and so should you. Get back to studying.

Kara

You’re right. And also you’re the best :)))) Love you!!

Alex

Love you too. And I know I am ;)

Kara smiled and took a deep breath before putting her phone away. Talking to Alex always helped her clear her head and reorient herself, so she looked down at her books with renewed vigor. She studied with newfound concentration, losing track of time as she went from subject to subject; not even the usual gentle whispers surrounding her interfered.

                                               ----------------------

By the time she stretched and decided she deserved a break, she realized the library was a lot quieter. Most people had left for dinner and hadn’t returned, and those that remained were really in the groove, silently flipping through books. Kara decided a dinner break was a necessity, and loathe as she was to give up her spot, no one was close enough to look after her things. She quickly packed up and hurried down to the nearest dining hall. She grabbed some potstickers and chicken lo mein before heading back to the library.

She enjoyed the last fringes of the sunset during her walk back to the library and took a deep breath. She actually felt pretty prepared for three of her exams and would have more of the week to keep studying for the other two, so she was feeling pretty good. She pulled her arms up over her head in a stretch, eyes closing instinctively at the sensation, bag of food gently hitting against her forearm from where it hung from her hand, when she accidentally bumped into someone.

“I’m so sorry—“ The apology automatically coming out of her mouth before her eyes snap open to see— “you.” Kara was breathless. It was the stranger who had run into her earlier, shirt still stained with little drops of red from the berries.

“We have to stop meeting like this.” The stranger teased, humor lacing the sentence. 

“I don’t think I mind it.” Kara smiled and she could swear the stranger blushed.

“Tell that to your parfait.” Kara laughed.

“My food made it out alright this time. I think the parfait was at fault.” The woman laughed and all Kara wanted to do was to make her laugh again. 

“Maybe....sorry again though. I was studying and lost track of time; I was almost late to a final.” She looked remorseful, as if she had been beating herself up about mismanaged time all day. 

“Seriously, no problem.”

“You sure? It looked like a really good parfait.” The woman fiddled with her hands nervously.

“It was, but it could never be better than you calling me beautiful.” Kara’s eyes widened at her sudden burst of confidence that surprised even her. The woman raised an eyebrow and her lip quirked upward in a smile.

“Is that so?” Kara rubbed her neck nervously at the scrutiny of the other woman and nodded. The woman hummed then held out her hand. 

“I’m Lena.” Kara stared at the outstretched hand for a moment before taking it in the her own. She couldn’t help but notice that her hand was very soft now that it wasn’t covered with bits of yoghurt and berries. 

“Kara.” Kara smiled and adjusted her glasses with her free hand, her bag of food jostling at the movement.

“Well, Kara, I still feel bad about earlier, and I’ve had a private study room booked all day if you wanted to join me to study?” Lena was basically offering Kara Eden with her private study room and, while her mind briefly switched to more...scandalous thoughts, she quickly shook those away and nodded enthusiastically.

“That would be amazing! You have no idea how hard it’s been studying today without one. I could barely concentrate.” Kara had no intention telling Lena that she was the reason that Kara couldn’t concentrate. 

“Come on, then.” It isn’t until Lena was leading them inside that Kara realized they were still holding hands, but Kara already knew that Lena could walk her straight into oncoming traffic and she’d still follow. She was in deep already.

                                               ----------------------

Despite the hounding and teasing from Alex when Kara told her the next morning, they did actually only study. They also planned to study together the rest of the week...and they planned to go on a date that weekend.

Red berry parfait was now Kara’s second favorite food. After potstickers, of course.

[letsbenditlikebennett]

Cheeseburger in Paradise || Ariana & Ricky

TIMING: A couple weeks ago PARTIES: @ricky-corderbro & @letsbenditlikebennett SUMMARY: Ariana responds to Ricky’s online invite for dinner company, but only if its cheeseburgers. Chatting and bonding ensues. 

As far as Ariana was concerned, anyone that was good in Winston’s book had to be good people. She’d talked to Ricky briefly in the past and had brought some venison by when he’d been in the hospital, but she was looking forward to actually hanging out with him. It’d only been a few days since they’d left their house behind and Ariana was already desperately missing her full closet. After talking about aesthetics, she kind of wanted to wear her favorite crop top which was still at their now abandoned house. Second favorite crop top would have to do the trick. This one had sunflowers which were her favorite because she could see them true to color and she loved that one Post Malone song. She happened to be humming that very song as she walked into Dell’s. She was quick to spot Ricky standing near one of the benches in place by the front door. “Hey,” she said with a smile, “Glad we’re actually getting to hang out. How are you feeling?” 

Ricky was sure he was going to start going insane if he stayed inside his house any longer. He’d done all he could about converting his studio to a bedroom for Rio, and after having reorganized his cookbooks and spice rack for the third time he was sure the walls were starting to talk to him. Which is why he’d been glad when Ariana had taken him up on his plea for some dinner company. Though she was a bit younger than he was, all the interactions he’d had with her so far (including trying her amazing cooking) had convinced him she was anything but a vapid daft teenager. He stood from the bench he’d been perched on, tapping out a text to Winston and Rio about grocery requests, and offered his fist for a pound, “Same shit different day. Everything hurts and I”m dying. But… I will say… everything hurts a little less every day. Thanks for taking pity on a broken old man and having dinner with me. Which is on me… by the way… as a thank you for the venison.” He held the door open and gestured inside, holding up two fingers to the hostess as she gathered up some menus for them, “How are you enjoying having the sun back?”

Ariana welcomed the fist bump with a smile and returned the gesture. Maybe going out to dinner with a friend wasn’t exactly laying low, but if she just spent her time holed up in Ulf’s house she’d probably lose her mind. She was sure Ricky felt the same with having to take it easy to recover from his injuries. She could hardly imagine having to play soccer or run for that long. Dinner was likely a welcome distraction to both of them. She laughed when Ricky called himself an old man. “Old man, right. I think you got a few more years before you can call yourself that. Glad it’s starting to hurt less though. You’ll be fully out and about again before you know it… and thanks. Wasn’t expecting that, but it’s appreciated.” She smiled as she walked through the open door and the hostess brought them over to their table. The fact it was a booth somewhat in the back was comforting. That had to be a little more low profile than up and center right? She focused back on the question at hand. Her head tilted slightly as she nodded and said, “Oh yeah, I’m actually able to sleep at night and don’t think I need a nap at like 10 in the morning anymore. You happy to have it back, too?” While the prospect of a 24-hour full moon had sounded nice, logistically it was probably better to be in wolf form less time. She looked over the different burger options on the menu, pretty sure she was going to go with the classic hangover option. She turned her attention back to Ricky and asked, “So, how did you and Winston meet? Did you guys know each other before you were roommates?” 

Following the waitress to the booth that she directed them to Ricky gingerly lowered himself into the seat, grabbing the laminated menu and fiddling with it, “I feel like I can hear my ribs grinding when I laugh or cough too much, I definitely feel like an old man now.” He placed his drink order and set the menu down, taking turns between glancing at it and focusing on what Ariana was saying. “Incredibly. It’s like you said, my whole rhythm and schedule was just…. Off balance. Like when you load the washer wrong and it spins off balance. That’s what it felt like. I’m happy to have the sun around to at least reinforce my schedule. You don’t realize how much you depend on that schedule for a feeling of normalcy until you aren’t able to follow it anymore.” When the waitress came around again he ordered his normal go to; mushroom and swiss burger, extra bacon, no bun, fries with a side of hot sauce, before passing off the menu to her and looking back at his new friend, “Winston?” He laughed a little, regathering curls that had started to escape the confines of his topknot and redoing them, “No. We didn’t. We actually met at a party like… a week and a half before they moved in. I went outside for a smoke and a bit of quiet on the porch and there was this dude there and we just started talking. Hit it off pretty immediately and then they mentioned that they were looking for a place and like hey, I’ve got a decent sized house so I had them over for a tour and we figured out pretty quick that we’d work real well as roommates. That was like five months ago and I’ve never looked back. Like, having Winston in the house has upped my level of general wellbeing and happiness like 300%. I fucking love them. What about you? How did you guys meet?” 

It sucked to see that Ricky was still in pain from his injuries. Ariana did her best to offer a sympathetic smile. Hopefully, he’d heal up pretty quickly and could be back to life as normal. “If it helps, you don’t look like an old man,” she said with a laugh. When the waitress came back by, Ariana asked for an iced tea and turned her attention back to Ricky. The never-ending night thing had been confusing. She’d never had any concept of what time it was and then it had to end right before the full moon. “It’s crazy how much a lack of sunshine can change your whole rhythm up. I kept going for runs in the middle of the night because I’d feel weirdly energetic at like midnight. My sister was not a fan of that.” The hangover burger had won out and she ordered it medium rare with fries. Though she’d never had a hangover, she fully supported sunny side eggs and bacon being added to a cheeseburger. She let her elbows rest down on the table and relaxed as Ricky told her about how he met Winston. That was super cool that they hit it off right away like that and living together was going well. From what she was able to gather based on their few conversations, Ricky seemed to balance out Winston nicely. It’s no wonder they worked so well together as roommates. “That’s awesome,” she said with a wide grin on her face, “To meet and just click like that. I know you’re super important to them and it seems like the timing on that was perfect. It’s like you two were meant to be best friends. Which sounds cheesy as hell, but whatever.” She grabbed a sip of her iced tea before answering his question, “Winston originally offered to help me with math, but I’d already found a tutor. I was still new to town though so I was like hey, I could still use friends if you wanna hit up that farmer’s market with me. So we went to the farmer’s market and accidentally bought vampire watermelons. Turns out having to smash carnivorous fruit really brings people together. They even dyed my hair for me when I was having a little bit of a meltdown.” She gave her freshly blonde hair a flip and added, “I think they did a pretty good job, but I’m colorblind, so if it looks awful, just lie to me.” 

“I’m an old man on the inside, which is where it matters I think. On the inside it’s just me shaking a cane at children and telling them to stay off my lawn. One advantage to living where I do, I guess. No kids are fucking up my landscaping.” Nodding energetically Ricky chewed on the end of his straw, “I totally feel that. Everything was so out of whack. I’d be like, wide awake and ready to do things at 3 in the morning and then in the middle of the afternoon my body would be begging for bed. It made running errands an absolute shitshow but somehow we all powered through it. By the seat of our pants sure, but we ultimately did.” He couldn’t help but smile when Ariana detailed exactly how she’d gotten entangled in Winston’s life, seemingly as randomly and serendipitously as he had. “I think it’s just something about them. They make it so easy to become friends with them that you feel like you’ve been friends for ages. I never thought I’d invite someone to live with me after only meeting them at a party but I was just so fucking convinced that we’d get along perfectly; and five months later I have absolutely zero regrets about it all.” His eyebrow did raise at the mention of vampiric fruit, “Why am I both surprised and not surprised that there are vampire watermelons. What a fucking disaster of a fruit waiting to happen. I’m glad you both survived though, I would have been so sad if my best friend got turned into a blood sucking fruit.” As their food arrived Ricky chewed thoughtfully on a french fry, “Well it looks fine to me, but I’m also color blind so it could look like a fucking mess and I’d never know.” He briefly wondered if this was indicative of Ariana being something inhuman, but quickly reminded himself that perfectly normal humans were colorblind without it meaning anything. “So you’re a senior, right? Any big plans since high school is coming abruptly to an end?” 

The image of Ricky shaking his cane and yelling at children to get out of his yard was pretty amusing. As much made Ariana laugh as he spoke. Somehow, it was hard to imagine him being too grumpy, but she’d only just met him. “Glad to hear the landscape is safe,” she said grinning widely, “Thankfully we made it and things are back to normal… Well, I guess as normal as it gets here anyway. No one can say it’s boring here, that’s for damn sure.” She leaned into the back of the booth and felt happy to know that Winston had people who clearly adored them in their life. They deserved nothing less. In the short time they’d been friends, Winston had been nothing short of supportive and found ways to make her laugh when she was upset. “I think they’re just such a good person. It makes it easy to get along with and trust them. Sometimes when you meet people you just know, huh? Sounds like it worked out perfectly with you, too.” It was easy to laugh over the vampire watermelons now that she replaced her combat boots. She had been a little salty about that part at first. “Probably because it’s White Crest and nothing is too far-fetched. But yeah, I smashed the one that destroyed my fave combat boots and they blew one up. It was a bonding experience. Worth the loss of my shoes because we got to be upfront with each other about things we probably would’ve kept a secret.” Ariana had been picking at her fries when Ricky mentioned being colorblind. She instantly perked up and tried to subtly sniff to pick up on his scent. It definitely wasn’t wolfy, she would have noticed as much right away. He smelled more like the ocean. “Wait…,” she whispered, taking a look around them, “Colorblind? You don’t smell like a wolf. You smell more like the ocean. Are you…” She had trailed off before she realized that was probably way too blunt, “Ah, crap, sorry. I got a little weird there. I’m colorblind, too.” She tried to play it off and nervously tucked her hair behind her ear, shifting back to what he had asked her. “But yeah, senior year. I just started up a carpentry apprenticeship so that’ll be post-graduation life for me. Don’t really feel into the whole college thing. What about you? Do you go to UMWC with Winston?” 

Ariana talked a million miles an hour and it was honestly somewhat comforting. Ricky enjoyed listening to the stories about her misadventures with Winston and vampire watermelons and the mishap that led to the destruction of her favorite pair of combat boots. It was something of a twist though, when she mentioned that Winston had blown one of them up and the twist got even twistier when she made a comment about the way he smelled. The first twist could have been, maybe, explained away. Winston was after all an at least tangential member of the Police Department. Blowing things up could have been in reference to some explosives they’d procured and not their innate magical ability. But the comments about his smell, particularly when coupled with her comment about how he didn’t smell wolfy, made him set his fork down and wipe burger off of his face, “Holy shit did I collect another werewolf friend?” His mouth quirked into half a smile as he leaned across the table, “Are there just a million of you around town?” He idly chewed a french fry and looked at the young woman across the table. “It’s funny. All of the rest of you I’ve met have said the same thing. That I smell like the ocean. Which makes sense I guess… it’s where I was born.” He resumed his burger, cutting off a piece and making sure it was properly laden with mushrooms and swiss cheese. “Carpentry apprenticeship though, that’s dope af. I’m a woodworker by trade. Who’re you apprenticing with? Maybe you can do an independent study with me. It’d be boring…. But…. I’d cook you a good lunch as part of it.” The burger disappeared rapidly, and then all Ricky was left with was a small mountain of fries, which he liberally covered in hot sauce. “Me? I’m about two months from graduating with my MFA, which was an entirely unnecessary degree, but then I’ll be done there. And to be perfectly honest with you; a lot of people look down their noses at apprenticeships and trade schools but there’s always going to be a need for skilled manual labor; and a lot of times those jobs pay a lot better than anything a Bachelor’s in Science is going to get you. If you know carpentry is something you’re into I fully support not pouring thousands upon thousands of dollars into a broken educational system and just doing an apprenticeship. People are always going to need carpenters.” 

Prior to mentioning it, there had been no doubt in Ariana’s mind that he’d known about the supernatural. After all, Winston had mentioned giant crabs that had a name she couldn’t remember destroying their living room, but it was still a relief that Ricky caught on to her drift quickly, albeit without answering all of her questions, but they’d get there. The fact he had multiple werewolf friends did pique her interest. She knew Ulfric, Lucas, and Simon. Plus, she knew of Miles. Still, it’d be nice to have some friends like her who were closer to her in age range. Her head tilted as she looked at him and said in a hushed tone, “Looks like you did! Wait,  you know other werewolves? I’ve only met a few in town so far.” She let out a hushed laugh before shoving a few more fries in her mouth. Her eyes were still kind of wide when she quietly added, “Must be true then. Goes with the whole beach bro aesthetic. You were born on the beach? Do you… I’m sorry if this is kind of blunt, but are you able to shift, too?” How she didn’t pick up on the subtle difference in his scent sooner was driving her crazy. Maybe her manners weren’t entirely intact, but her curiosity often got the better of her. As she polished off her burger, Ricky was talking about how he was a woodworker. It was official, Ricky was fucking awesome. “Wait, seriously? That’s so cool. How long have you been doing that? My apprenticeship is at Trusty Wood, but yeah, an independent study sounds great. I doubt I’d be bored. I find working with my hands to actually be kind of relaxing. Plus, the promise of a good lunch is hard to turn down,” she finished with a smirk. She wasn’t sure if it was a wolf thing or an athlete thing, but she was nearly always hungry. She picked at the rest of her french fries as he spoke about school. It was kind of nice to hear someone validate her choice to skip out on college, even if they went themselves. “That’s awesome. I guess it’s a bit early for a congratulations, but I’m gonna throw it out there anyway. A degree is a good thing to have so more power to you. The money thing is a factor, but honestly, I just really can’t imagine going through more school. I’m dyslexic and colorblind so schoolwork kind of makes my brain feel like it’s a melted pile of goo. I’d just rather dive right into something I know I actually enjoy. I will miss soccer though.” 

“You’re now the third one I’ve met. So I guess I don’t know a million of them. But; now more than a couple. Now I’ve got a neat little three of a kind in my social acquaintances.” It was always nice to meet another shifter; particularly as he’d found the werewolves he did know in town to all be excellent friends. “Not on the beach. In the ocean.” He chewed thoughtfully on another french fry as Ariana asked her question, shooting her a smile, “I am. Different than you. I’m an at will shifter, I don’t need the moon. I just need to have my true skin and I can change back into my true form. I’m a selkie. A seal shifter. We’re a little more rare in these parts than you and your kind are; most of the big clans are still over on the British Isles, but, I can shift indeed… and to simplify the every fucking complicated dance of not telling people things they shouldn’t know I”ll let you know right off the bat that Winston knows what I am. There was an awkward moment after we moved in together when he came home unexpectedly, I didn’t have my fake teeth in, and he caught sight of my fangs. Our teeth are always seal teeth even in our human bodies.” The conversation shifted tack yet again to her impending apprenticeship, “Well if you ever wanna hang out in the workshop for a day or two just clear it with your new boss and I’ll be happy to have you tag along and see the kind of work I do. I know at least for me personally as an artist I always love watching people work because I always learn at least one thing that I had no idea about before.” He shrugged broadly, “It’s fine. It’s definitely not something I needed. But I’ve got it now so it’s there to hang on the wall in my studio and look smug about or something. And that’s fair. I was lucky enough to get a whole heap of scholarships; but really I did not excel in college. I’m not that booksmart, as much as Winston likes to lecture me about various types of intelligences, and it was a fucking struggle. I’m certainly not graduating on the dean’s list. But i bet there’s a community soccer team you could be involved in. Or you could start one.” 

“Huh, that’s about how many I’ve met so far, too. I can definitely smell that there’s more. Which hopefully doesn’t sound totally creepy,” Ariana responded with a laugh. Navigating the world through smell seemed a lot less weird once someone knew you were a werewolf. After all, that’s how wolves in the wild worked. As Ricky explained what he was, Ariana stared at him completely fascinated. She’d never met a selkie before. She was pretty sure she’d heard them mentioned in one of Celeste’s books, but meeting one in person was totally different. She instinctively leaned forward on her elbows, taking in every word. “Wow,” she said completely in awe, “That’s pretty fucking cool. You’re the first selkie I’ve met. That must be pretty cool to have control of when you shift. I love the full moon. That’s actually where the venison I made came from. Apparently with practice, I can learn to shift outside the full moon, but haven’t really tried as much yet. Probably wouldn’t be the best idea right now anyway. Thanks for skipping that whole dance. Winston also knows what I am. They’re definitely really understanding for still being new to all of this.” She nodded along as Ricky explained about her being able to come watch him in his workshop. Learning new ways of doing things and see how he worked could definitely be helpful for her learning the trade and making it her own. “Totally,” she responded, “I’ll check with Shiloh and see if that’d be okay. I’d definitely love to see your work and how you do it.” It felt a little better to know school was tough for him, too. Everyone around her always seemed to have a much easier time with things, where as she needed an army of math tutors just to pass Algebra. “Even if it was tough, you still did it, so that’s amazing. Glad it’s not just me who struggles with the book learning thing. Winston’s right though, we’ve all got our things. You’re right, I’ll have to look into it more. I may be working a soccer camp for elementary school kids this summer.It’s not a full time thing and I figured it could help me stick with that hobby.”

“I mean I don’t know how much of this is fact and how much of this is me still drooling over the cast of Teen Wolf years later but don’t you guys have packs? Like we have clans? Makes sense that where there’s one there’d be more than a handful unless they’re taking the whole ‘lone wolf’ thing real seriously.” He polished off the last of his french fries and looked forlornly down at the empty plate before ordering another basket of them when the waitress came by the table to refill their drinks. “We’re not super common. But yeah. I’ve got to do it like once a week otherwise I’ll start to get sick, but, I can pretty much pick and choose when I do it. Downsides are I’m every vampire’s favorite treat. Oh! Since we’re no longer pretending to be human! It wasn’t a car accident that fucked me up like this. Winston and I got attacked by an asanbosam. Fugly ass West African tree vampire. Nasty fucking piece of work that one. It’s dead though, so, no worries.” The fries came and he pushed them to the center of the table so they could both snack on them, “Once I’m healed up and graduated I’ll pretty much be in there full time. But yeah. If Shiloh says it’s chill swing by the house and see me. You me and Winston can have lunch and we’ll get you hands on with some carpentry stuff the way I do it.” Listening carefully as she talked he couldn’t help but remember his own high school experience. It sounded remarkably similar to what Ariana had gone through “Maybe it’s a shifter thing” He laughed quietly, “We’re bad at school but good with our hands. But soccer camp sounds amazing. You could even look into like helping coach kids’ teams during the school year. I’m sure they need help year round wrangling a bunch of hopped-up-on-juice-and-sugar kids. There’re definitely a bunch of ways to keep you involved in the soccer after high school, you just gotta search them out a bit.” 

“Weirdly enough, I’ve never watched that show so I couldn’t tell you how true to form it is. Wolves do form packs though. I was really young when my parents died so I didn’t grow up around other wolves. Slowly starting to find a pack here so to speak. I think it’s more a matter of us finding each other than anything else. Which the nose helps with that one a lot. That’s cool you guys have clans. Sticking together is always smart,” Ariana responded in a low voice, still being sure to not attract any unwanted attention. Thankfully, the restaurant wasn’t too busy and they were off towards the back. Last thing they needed was to tip some asshole hunter off. When he mentioned they weren’t common, it made sense she’d never met one previously. She had finished off her own plate and pushed it toward the side of the table with all her napkins and silverware stacked on it to make it a little easier for the server. “Well, it’s pretty fucking cool to meet a selkie. That kinda makes sense though, having to shift to avoid feeling sick. Cool to be able to pick and choose when. Oh jeez, that’s not the kind of snack you want to be. I remember Winston mentioning the tree vampire thing. That was how they got hurt, too, right? Hopefully there aren’t more of those roaming around because hard pass on all of that. Glad you survived that though.” The prospect of learning from Ricky was exciting and she hoped Shiloh would be cool with it. She wasn’t sure why she wouldn’t be. It’d only make her better at her job. Plus, Ricky was cool as hell and she really wanted to see him in action. “Yeah, I hope the healing thing happens for you sooner rather than later. I know not being able to get out as much can suck. There’s only so much entertainment streaming services can provide. I’m sure she’ll be cool with it though. That sounds like a great day to me.” She nodded along as he spoke and finished off her iced tea. When Ricky mentioned the shifter thing, she found herself laughing too. “It must be. Makes me feel a little better about the number of tutors I needed to pass Algebra. I’m pretty excited about the soccer camp. I’ve never really done anything like that before, but I love kids and soccer, so I think it’ll be a good time. That’s a really good idea though, I’ll have to look into that. I know you mentioned the Swim Team before, I imagine you have to keep up with swimming all things considered. Where here is actually safe to swim is what I’d like to know.”

“I hope it’s not really true to form because it makes packs seems like a weirdly queerbaity incestuous mess. But. Tyler Posey is hot and so I watched the whole thing. Don’t judge.” He smiled as they finished off the food and leaned back in the booth, crossing his arms carefully over his very sore chest, “I think they killed the only one. We’d be finding literal piles of human skin under trees if there were more lurking around and I haven’t heard anything about that so hopefully they’re gone for good. Because they’re some gross ass bitches.” It was nice to just sit and have a meal with someone without any expectation. They just sat and talked and it was the most relaxed Ricky had honestly felt since the whole asanbosam incident. “Doesn’t matter how many tutors it took. Just matters that you stuck with it long enough to actually pass. That’s the important thing. It was tough and it was hard but you weren’t a little bitch about it. That’s that good good character building shit right there.” It wasn’t any stretch of the imagination to think that Ariana would be a great soccer coach. Between her personable manner and her readily-apparent love of the game she’d probably crush it. “Fuck yeah. Go for it. There’s no reason you have to stop doing what you love because you’re graduating. You just turn it into an adult hobby and start charging people. Bing bang boom you’ve got some income and you’re a civic-minded resident of the town!” He couldn’t help but snort at her question about safe swimming, “An indoor pool. Don’t ever go swimming in Dark Score lake. You will die. Pretty immediately. The ocean is full of borderline upsetting shit too.” He pulled up the side of his shirt to show the very large bite mark on the side of his stomach, “Mermaids. You don’t wanna fuck with those bitches. They are mean.” 

“A little less like that. Given all the other wolves I know are men that are a fair deal older than me. I mean, I’m bi, but still don’t think it’s quite like that,” Ariana laughed as she mused on the similarities between some teen show and actual life as a werewolf. Somehow she had the feeling none of the shows were really spot on. It was good to hear that there was likely only one tree vampire in White Crest and it was dead. “Thank god, I’m tough, but I really didn’t want to run into one of those things. They sound vicious af and no thanks,” she leaned back a bit into the booth and added, “But like, totally glad you both live to tell the tale. Still, fuck that thing.” Her smile was wide as she listened to him basically pep her up. Getting to hang out with Ricky was pretty cool, not that she doubted Winston’s taste in friends, but he was just an all around good dude. Just the kind of positivity she needed in her life right about now. “Thanks, definitely wasn’t totally a little bitch about. Doesn’t mean there wasn’t some complaining though,” she said with a laugh, “But I do appreciate the hype.” As the waitress came back by and asked if they wanted dessert, she shook her head no and thanked her as she left the check. Turning back to Ricky, she found she was still as cheerful as ever. Man, he really was a super sweet person. His profile description of being thicc of heart and ass had been spot on. “You right, you right. I can still do something I love as a hobby and make some money off it. Plus, contributing to the community and working with kids is always a good time.” She crossed her arms and pouted slightly at the swimming advisory. White Crest was her kind of place, but she’d rather not become giant monster fish food, so she guessed she’d have to skip the swimming. “Well, damn, okay White Crest. Guess I gotta find a gym with an indoor pool then.” Her mouth dropped at the mark on the side of his stomach, “Jeez, a mermaid did that? So I’m guessing The Little Mermaid really isn’t accurate then.” 

Sliding his card across the table onto the bill that the waitress had left Ricky shot her a gleaming smile as she took the card and left, “I’m glad that actual pack dynamics aren’t the same as that show. That’d be….. Highly dysfunctional.” He couldn’t help but laugh a little as she talked about The Little Mermaid, “No. They’re more like….. Horrific nightmare angler fish. They have a lure that looks super convincingly like a human. They then use it to trick people into thinking someone’s drowning and then when they swim out to rescue them… boom. Eaten by a gross ass mermaid. I know the Rec Center out on Birch Lane has a pretty decent pool. If you’re fine with the sound of children screaming and some truly impressive levels of chlorine.” His card was returned and he signed the bottom of the receipt, leaving a large tip and ignoring the phone number scrawled at the bottom next to a smiley face, “If you need someone to sketch you uniform designs for your new kids’ soccer team I’m totally available for that. I can do some adorable fuckin’ cartoon designs that’ll make your team the envy of the surrounding area.” Gingerly sliding himself out of the booth he held an arm out to Ariana, “This was definitely the most fun I’ve had having cheeseburgers in a long time. Plus… I made another shifter friend! Best dinner date ever.”  

With a smile, Ariana thanked Ricky for dinner. Making a new friend, especially someone else who was a shifter, had been a great time. Though the description of mermaids was mildly terrifying. Ariel sounded way more fun to hang out with. “Big yikes,” she remarked, “That is definitely not what I imagined at all. I will keep my swimming to the Rec Center or out of White Crest entirely. Thankfully, I’m more of a runner than a swimmer. Not that there’s not things in the woods that would probably want to eat me, but I’m pretty scrappy.” She relaxed in the booth as Ricky signed the receipt and mentioned his drawing skills. “You’re just a man of many talents, huh? I’ll totally let you know if I need to design anything like that. I have a meeting soon with like, the full details on that.” She smiled easily getting up from the booth and taking Ricky’s arm. “Same here,” she said happily as they walked out, “Can’t beat cheeseburgers and new shifter friends. We’re definitely doing this again soon.”   

[jamesbuchananxsteviegrant]

[Part 1] The Winter Deity | Steve x Bucky x Reader (Angst)

Category: Angst (Suggested) Age: 16+ Trigger Warnings: Panic attack, kidnapping, brainwashed, gun violence, knife violence, physical violence Ship: Bucky x Steve x Reader Summary: Bucky And Reader Both Come From HYDRA But They Take Her Again Request: “Ok you’re officially ny favourite fic writer! In saying so, I can see you working WONDERS with a stucky x reader where Y/N and Bucky were both tortured by hydra at the same time and escaped together. But now they’ve taken her again, and our beefy boys are on the case with 0 hesitation because that’s their girl goddamnit!” Contains Spoilers for: N/A Word Count: 7,803 Note: Deity means God/Goddess

---

(Y/N)’s entire body freezes up all the power goes out in the building. She knows that Stark has an intense back-up plan for when accidents like this occur, but she’s still scared nonetheless. It doesn’t help when she hears crashing and shouting going on in other parts of the building.

Blindly grabbing her phone from the dressing table of her bedroom, she unlocks it and goes to Bucky’s number, dialling it up whilst finding her way to the ensuite of her room, closing the door behind her and locking it.

“Doll? Is it important? We’re just out in action right now, babe.” The brunet’s voice comes through her phone, heavy breaths following. The woman nods to herself before even speaking, not daring to breathe as she awaits to hear any other noises throughout the tower.

Bucky, Steve and (Y/N) all made an agreement that they’ll never call the other if they’re out on a mission and that the person or persons is out on the mission will call when they’re available. Unless it’s an emergency.

“Buck, there’s been a blackout in the tower.” She informs her lover, keeping her voice to an all time low. “And it’s been longer than two minutes, we’re nearly at five.”

The man freezes up himself at his girlfriend’s words and turns to look over at Steve who’s hiding himself as they approach a base.

“(Y/N), are you safe?” He asks, gesturing his head to Steve for them to head back away from the base.

He hears her take a few deep breaths, trying to keep it under control.

“I’m locked in my ensuite. I don’t know what’s going on and I’m scared.” The girl explains, standing upright, leaning against the sink counter that sits directly opposite her door, staring at the solid material as if it’s a threat.

“What’s going on?” Steve asks as the pair reconnect. Bucky doesn’t respond, continues walking away from the place they were trying to infiltrate until they’re back at their car.

The blond gets in the vehicle in the passenger seat and Bucky links the phone up to the speaker.

“Is Tony in the tower, doll?” He asks.

“What’s going on?” Steve repeats.

“Blackout in the tower, going on five minutes. She’s locked herself in her ensuite.”

Cap’s eyes widen and he switches his gaze from Bucky to the phone.

“Tony should be here but I haven’t heard anything from him.” (Y/N) answers the man’s question.

The men aren’t stupid. They can hear the panic lacing her voice and how it’s getting progressively worse.

“(Y/N), sweetheart, I need you to listen to me, okay?” The blond begins, voice serious yet caring and loving. The tone of voice that (Y/N) refers to as her safe place. “You listening to me?”

She nods to herself but knows she needs to communicate with her lovers.

“Yeah.”

“Close your eyes for me, (Y/N). Focus on my voice and imagine I’m in front of you, yeah? Listen to mine and Bucky’s breathing. In, two, three, four, out, two, three, four, in, two, three, four, out, two, three, four. That’s my girl, keeping doing that for me.” Steve’s voice is so calming, it keeps the woman grounded.

Once they recognise her calmer breaths, Bucky speaks up again.

“Are the lights still out, doll?”

“Yeah.” She whispers.

“Steve and I are on our way back now, alright? We were only an hour out but I’m sure I can cut it to thirty minutes - you can scold me once I’m home and I’ve got you in my arms again.” The brunet lightly chuckles at his own words, prompting her to smile.

“You’ve got yourself a deal, Barnes.” She manages to breathe out, voice still sounding strained.

“You keep yourself safe in your bathroom, sweetheart, and we’ll be back with you in no time. I’m sure Tony’s just-“

He’s cut off by the loud bang that shatters the door to her bathroom, followed by her scream. The scream that’s laced with so much fear.

“(Y/N)!” Both the soldiers yell, eyes wide. “No, no, no, no, no, no!” Bucky adds, putting his foot down without giving a damn about the consequences.

Steve knows he can’t say anything to calm his brunet lover at this point as he too is absolutely petrified.

“(Y/N)! TALK TO ME!” He yells, slamming his fist down on the dash but keeps his eyes on the call that’s still going.

“Captain Rogers, huh?” A masculine voice speaks down the line, Bucky coming to a sudden halt and staring at the device like it’s his biggest fear.

“Buck?” The blond whispers.

“Soldier.” The voice on the phone adds, his smirk can be heard in his voice.

“Don’t- Don’t touch her.” Bucky chokes on his words.

A small laugh comes from the man.

“Buck, who is it?” Steve quizzes, eyebrows furrowed.

“Captain Rogers, we’ve been acquainted before. You may remember me from when I nearly killed you in New York because I told you about your dearest Bucky.” The man spits, Cap’s eyes widening in realisation.

“No…” He whispers.

“You can keep the useless Soldier but I want this asset back. Her feminine strength is something I will never find in anyone else. I appreciate you taking care of her in the meantime.”

Nothing more can be said before the call ends.

“I’ll fucking kill him.” Bucky growls, putting his foot down once more. “I’LL KILL THEM ALL!”

He thought he’d heard the last of him. The last of them.

HYDRA.

///

“FRIDAY, call everyone to the lounge, now.” Tony’s voice demands as he enters the common space.

“Of course, sir.” The AI responds, and within two minutes, the room was crowded.

“First off, is everyone alright? Is anyone injured?”

Everyone shakes their head.

“We’re all fine, Tony, but what happened?” Nat asks, taking a seat on the sofa.

“Still trying to work that one out.” The billionaire sighs. “That lasted twenty-five minutes so I can only imagine someone has spent years trying to work out how to get into my systems, how to stop back-up reinforcements, everything.”

They all hear the elevator dinging and acknowledge the two men entering the room, but not the expressions on their faces.

“No-one’s hurt and that’s all that matters. I’ll find out why-“ The man’s cut off by being slammed into the wall behind him, gasping as he looks up and meets the intense blue stare of Bucky.

“No-one got hurt? No-one got hurt?! THEN DO YOU WANT TO EXPLAIN TO ME WHY I HEARD MY FUCKING GIRLFRIEND’S ROOM BE BROKEN INTO AND HER SCREAM AS SHE WAS TAKEN FROM THE SAFETY OF HER DAMNED ROOM IN THIS TOWER BY BROCK FUCKING RUMLOW?!” The brunet roars, Tony’s face suddenly dropping and not caring about the man assaulting him.

No. Not her. There’s no way HYDRA got into his building and got her, right?

“Bucky, calm down-“ Nat attempts, but Steve’s arm holds her back, knowing his lover needs this temporary release.

“Tony,” The blond begins. “HYDRA broke in here and took her. We have no idea where they’ve taken her but he confirmed that he needed her feminine strength for something that he won’t find in anyone else. I want everyone researching.”

Bucky’s chest is still heaving as he glares daggers into the man’s eyes.

“We’ll find her.” Tony states, trying to calm his own fear, but the thought of the woman he sees as his little sister being taken by the hands of the bastards who tormented her for years makes his blood run cold. “I can’t lose her.”

The sincerity and fear lacing Iron Man’s voice makes Bucky loosen his press on him. Buck knows how much (Y/N) means to the Tony, probably just as much as she does Steve and Buck, just platonically.

“I can’t either.” He mutters, pulling back off the man completely and throwing himself down on the sofa.

“Any idea on where she could be, Barnes?” Nat asks, standing with her arms folded.

He pauses, trying to gather his thoughts which is easier said than done when all he can think of is the scream that came from her throat as those bastards dared lay their hands on her.

“Soviet Union. That’s where they kept us. If they want her back for testing, that’ll be the best place. (Y/N) and I were ruthless when we were under their control and so they specifically made the building to withhold us.”

Tony nods and begins making orders.

“Banner and I will try find them and get into their systems, see if we can find anything. Romanoff, you, Wilson and Rogers make a plan for us to get in and get her out. Barnes, keep your head straight and go and find Legolas and Little Witch.”

Everyone nods but Steve grabs Bucky’s shoulders and turns his body so they’re facing one another.

“We’ll get her back, Buck. I can’t lose either of you, okay? So keep calm. We’ll make them pay but don’t let me lose both of you.” The blond begs, looking into the gorgeous blue eyes of his boyfriend.

The brunet nods and wraps his arms around Steve.

“She can’t go back there, Steve. I know how her mind works, it’s her biggest fear. She said she’d rather die than go back there and I know she wasn’t lying.” Buck whimpers, trembling in the Captain’s arms.

Steve clenches his eyes shut and holds the man tightly against him.

“I know, babe. I know.” He murmurs, not caring about the petname he uses in front of the others. “We’re gonna get her back, okay? Our girl is so strong, she’s going to be okay.”

But the blond doesn’t believe his own words. He’s meant to be Captain America. The hero. The saviour. The protector, and yet he couldn’t protect his best girl.

“Go and get Clint and Wanda and I’ll work here and getting tracks on her, alright?”

Bucky nods, pulling back and taking a few deep breaths.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Buck.”

///

The woman stirs from her slumber and glances around at her surroundings, eyes widening and fear setting in as she recognises them all-too-well.

“No,” She whispers, taking in every last detail and how it’s barely changed a bit. “No, no, no, no, no.”

“Ah, the Deity awakes.” A voice comments, (Y/N)’s entire body tensing up, praying with every last bit of hope inside of her that this is all just a horrible nightmare, but she knows it’s not. She knows. “Nothing to say now that you’re back in your home?”

Her eyes meet his and every last bit of strength she’s been building over the last six years with her lovers and ten years with The Avengers has dissipated.

“Where is he?” Her voice is so feeble, scared to speak at all.

“The Soldier? Not here. Not interested in him anymore - least of our worries. Can’t do anything when he’s got Captain Hero at his side, I don’t have a death wish. Rogers has talked the asset out of The Winter Soldier once, rendering him useless.” The man explains, (Y/N) gulping as she tries to cling onto that smallest amount of hope. It’s short-lived nonetheless.

She knows Bucky and she knows Steve, they’ll both come in here, guns blazing, to get her out. Hopefully Steve can talk Bucky out of coming in here.

“You, however, you have so many more purposes left. Women are weak-hearted but you, I’m not done with you yet, asset. You’re going to be our Deity once again. And you know what your first mission will be?” He asks, leaning over so he’s almost nose-to-nose with her. “To kill all of SHIELD.”

The strength (Y/N) uses to keep her tears at bay is exhausting, but she refuses to show fear in front of this man. She will die before he gets the satisfaction of seeing her fear.

Unamused with her lack of response, the man raises his hand and sends it flying toward her face, the slap echoing across the room along with her gasp. Following prompt, he wraps his hand around her throat.

“I expect you to respond to me, have I made myself clear?” He threatens, but she keeps her stoic expression.

“Go fuck yourself.”

And then endless torture began.

///

“You still haven’t slept?” Wanda’s voice calls through the meeting room. She sighs when she receives no response. “Steve, it’s been almost three days, you need to sleep. Does Bucky know you’re not sleeping?”

“He doesn’t need another load of worry on him.” The blond responds, not taking his eyes off of the research in front of him, trying to track down where his girl is.

“You think any of us do, Steve? The last thing we need is you passing out because of exhaustion.” The woman tries to rationalise, but she again receives no response.

Shaking her head, she heads out and into the elevator, up to the floor that barely anyone ever goes to. She wants to feel guilty but she knows this is for the best. The knock on the door is quiet but she repeats it louder, knowing she needs to wake up the person on the other side.

“Wanda?” Bucky’s tired voice quizzes, wiping his eyes. “What’s up?- Is there any other news?!”

She shakes her head with an apologetic smile.

“No, I’m sorry. I’m here because I need your help. I hate to add more worry to your plate but Steve’s been lying to you. He hasn’t slept since (Y/N) went missing, Buck. He’s in the room now still researching. I know he’s scared and I know you are too but he’s going to hurt himself and he won’t listen to me.”

The brunet furrows his brows and sighs.

“Thank you for telling me. I’ll go and get him.” He answers, Wanda nodding.

Bucky’s eyes are soft as he watches Steve intently read through all the documents that could give any hints, only to find none still. He knocks on the door to avoid scaring him, but he frowns when the blond doesn’t even turn around.

He walks into the room and wraps his arms around the man’s torso from behind, feeling him tense up as he’s been caught.

“I can’t do this without you.” The soldier whispers.

Steve sighs and rests his hands over his lover’s, nodding.

“I just… I can’t bear the thought of her being back in that hell.”

“I can’t either, trust me.” Buck whispers, feeling himself tear up again. “But, please, look after yourself, Stevie. She’d throw a right strop if she knew.”

The pair force a chuckle and nod.

“She’d do that thing where she grabs my face with her tiny hands and stand on her tiptoes to meet my stare, using that voice she uses.” Cap comments, forcing a smile as he reminisces.

“Steve Rogers, how many times do I have to tell you to look after yourself?! How am I meant to look after two super soldiers as well as myself?!” Bucky mimics, also laughing.

Steve turns around and rests his arms on his man’s waist, Bucky narrowing his eyes at the exhaustion evidently showing on Steve’s face.

“Come to bed, Steve.” He mumbles. “Please.”

Swallowing hard, the captain nods.

“Okay.”

“Thank you.”

Wanda smiles as she watches the scene play out from the door, thankful that they at least have each other in this mess.

It’s about eight AM when a banging on the solders’ door wakes them up.

“You two are so fuckin’ lazy!” Sam’s voice calls through the door, prompting Steve to flop back down on the bed as he recognises his friend’s voice.

“FRIDAY, let Sam in, please.”

“Of course, Captain Rogers.” The AI answers, the door opening prompt.

“We’ve found her.”

The men jolt straight up at their associate’s words, eyes wide.

“Action time. Get dressed.”

The pair are in their uniform in no time and down in the loading bay for the jet.

“I don’t think Barnes should come.” Tony comments.

“Good thing I didn’t ask.” Bucky growls, striding past the metal-suited billionaire.

“Steve,” The playboy sighs, looking at his friend for any signs of persuading the brunet otherwise.

Captain shakes his head and sighs.

“This isn’t just a case of getting our girl back, Tony, this is HYDRA. This is beyond personal.”

“If he gets compromised, I ain’t risking shit to save him, I hope you know that.” The man states, face holding seriousness. Steve nods and gets over to the jet.

The trip is quite quick, generally, but for Bucky and Steve it takes far too long. Too much time has passed since that call. The call of her screaming in fear and pain.

“Cap, plan?” Clint asks as they get the descending notification on the jet.

“Tony can plan this one, I’m not in the right mindset.” Steve responds, sighing.

“I’ll tell you the fuckin’ plan,” Bucky inputs. “We get out there, we kill every fucking bastard working for HYDRA, and we get my girl out. Have I made myself clear?”

“Thanks, Captain Obvious.” Tony growls. “Rhodey and I will fly up top, get rid of anyone at the back. Thor go with Banner around the west side. There’s a clear entrance, go through it and keep us updated. Romanoff and Legolas take East. Wilson, I want you on the roof. Maximoff, you stick with Capiscle and Sergeant Reckless over here and go through the front.”

Everyone nods.

“Bruce,” Steve begins, catching the man’s attention. “Could really do with you getting angry for this.”

“Trust me, Cap, the amount of rage I’ve been feeling for these assholes since they took her has only been building.”

Cap smiles and nods before turning to Buck, seeing him heaving as he stares out the window at the base they’re quickly approaching.

“We’ll get her back, Buck.”

“She’s been there three and a half days, Steve.” The brunet whispers. “I promised her when we first arrived at the tower that I’d never let them touch her again.”

“You can’t blame yourself for this, Bucky. This wasn’t on you. She was safe in the tower. This isn’t us, it’s them, and they will pay for taking our girl, alright?” The man states, watching his lover manage a smile.

“Can I break my no-killing rule for this?”

The blond chuckles and nods.

“I’d say so.”

///

“Sir, they’re here.” One of the HYDRA members states, watching Rumlow grin and turn to the woman beside him.

“Deity?”

“Ready to comply.”

Meanwhile, the jet has landed and all of them are running toward the building, beside the three who are flying.

“If you find her, you tell us.” Steve demands, everyone nodding and heading off in their respective directions.

The battle commences immediately, the base surrounded by hundreds of HYDRA agents.

“Roof cleared.” Sam calls first. “Heading in through the door on the roof.”

Thor and Hulk clear their side easy, no shocker to anyone, but it’s Natasha and Clint that face the conflicting issue.

“(Y/N)?” Nat asks, lowering her fists, Clint lowering his bow.

“Who the hell is (Y/N)?” The woman responds, raising her gun and firing.

“SHIT!” Black Widow yells, diving aside along with Clint. “Barnes, Rogers, huge problem.”

“What?!” Bucky responds through the comms.

Natasha actually pauses her words, looking at Clint for help. She daren’t say it. She daren’t be the person to break those words to the men she cares for so dearly.

“We’re not facing (Y/N), we’re facing The Winter Deity.” Hawkeye responds.

Bucky and Steve freeze and the brunet swears his heart stops beating entirely.

“Don’t fucking hurt her.” Cap demands.

“Easier said than fucking done, Cap. Any other bright ideas?!” Nat finally speaks.

“I need to get to her, I can get her out of it.” Bucky states, glancing at Steve who nods, knowing it’s true.

It’s one of the reasons why HYDRA tried splitting them up when they were at the facility together all those years ago.

*** Flashback ***

“Don’t touch her.” Bucky growls at the men, watching their amused expressions take over.

“What’s this? The soldier has feelings?”

Buck can’t respond. He doesn’t know why he’s suddenly defending this woman. He’s been with her since he got thrown into this place and he knows she’s been through everything he has. The thought doesn’t sit right with him. He’s been through so much pain and he didn’t care, but the thought of her going through the same pain makes him defensive.

“You can do what you want with me, but don’t touch her.” He repeats.

Rumlow smirks and gestures for his associates to stands down.

“Let’s leave them for a while.”

The second everyone left the room, Bucky turns around to the woman in the chair and strokes her face.

“(Y/N)?” He whispers. “Come on, it’s me, you know me.”

Her eyes show confusion. She’s still strapped to the chair and ready to kill, but she knows this man. How? Who is he?

“It’s Bucky. I need you to come back to me, (Y/N). We’re gonna be alright. You’re gonna be alright.”

She gives up her actions to try and break out of the confinements and stares into the depths of his blue eyes for any idea as to who this man is. Barely acknowledging it himself, the brunet leans down and presses his lips to her own, humming at how perfect it feels.

When he pulls back, her eyes are closed but he can tell she’s still awake.

“(Y/N)?” He questions, voice still quiet. He tucks her hair behind her ears.

Slowly, her eyes open and she smiles.

“Bucky,”

The smile is instantly replicated onto the soldier’s face.

“That’s my girl. Did they hurt you?”

“A little.” (Y/N) shrugs, glancing down at the dried blood that stains her skin from endless injections.

“I’m going to get you out of here, (Y/N).” He states, adamant.

“Not without you,” The woman suddenly pleads, taking hold of the material of shirt that covers his arms and looks at him with desperation. “Please don’t leave me without you.”

“Never.”  

*** Flashback End ***

“You two go, I’ll stay here with Wanda.” Sam speaks up, appearing by the trio.

The men nod.

“I’m coming to you, keep her occupied. Try using my name, might work.” The Winter Soldier calls down the comms before running off, Steve close behind.

Nat nods and Clint manages to shoot an arrow that nods the gun from her hands. She growls and screams in frustration, diving toward the duo and throwing punches left, right and centre.

(Y/N) is no novice to fighting, and being in The Winter Deity mode isn’t helping the SHIELD members either.

“Bucky, what name will she respond to when she’s like this?!” Nat calls as she tries to defend herself.

The thought makes Bucky want to throw up, the word tasting bitter on his tongue.

“Deity.”

Steve takes Bucky’s hand in his own and squeezes in reassurance.

“DEITY!” Nat yells, seeing the attention that’s caught by the woman. “REMEMBER BUCKY?!”

That word is literally all it takes for the woman to stop fighting, coming to a complete and utter standstill with wide eyes as she stares at Natasha.

“You have to remember Bucky.” Black Widow repeats, holding her hands up in surrender. “Bucky Barnes, the man who loves you with all his heart. The man who’d defend you to the ends of the Earth. The man who would do anything to protect you. He needs you to come back-“ She stops herself from saying (Y/N).

She also doesn’t risk mentioning Steve, unsure if that will help when she’s in this transfixed state.

“Deity,” A new masculine voice speaks through the speaks in the building.

“NO!” Bucky screams, also hearing it, increasing his pace to a speed he didn’t even know he could reach.

“Kill them all.” The voice adds.

That snaps (Y/N) out of her momentary haze and return her deathly glare on Nat and Clint.

“Shit.” Clint hisses, trying his best not to use his bow and arrows, knowing it could hurt her more than Bucky and Steve would be willing to accept.

The amount of HYDRA soldiers in and around the building is enough to keep the rest of the agents busy in the meantime.

“BARNES!” Nat yells through the comms, continuing to try to defend off the woman she knows as her friend. “God damnit, (Y/N), you need to remember Bucky.”

The word makes (Y/N)’s aggressive stance falter once more. She narrows her eyes.

“Stop saying that.” Her voice is lethal.

She sends her fist toward Natasha’s face and hits it straight on, followed by throwing her body over and wrapping her arms firmly around her neck.

“Die.” (Y/N) hisses, Clint trying to get back up from the hits he had also taken.

“DEITY!”

(Y/N) spins around and stares at the new voice that called her name but her eyes widen at the sight of the man she’s greeted with. The second Nat acknowledges the loosening on her neck, she throws (Y/N) off of her and jumps backwards.

“Deity, look at me.” Bucky tries again, taking a few tentative steps forward toward the woman he loves wholeheartedly, hating the name he’s addressing her with.

What breaks his heart just as much is the scars and bruises that coat the minimal skin she’s showing.

“You need to remember me, doll, it’s me. It’s Bucky.”

The word makes her eyes clench shut as if it pained her to hear it. Steve never saw (Y/N) when she was brainwashed by HYDRA and she was thankful for that, which is why Bucky made him wait round the corner and swear he won’t look until he’s called. The blond nodded, knowing this was for her sake. He stared up at the ceiling as he listened to their conversation.

“Trust me, my love, I would never hurt you. I keep you safe, remember? You shouldn’t be doing this. You’re not The Winter Deity and we are not your mission. You’re (Y/N) (L/N) and we are your family.” The brunet coaxes, watching her eyes flicker with emotion as they remain on his own, barely noticing him taking slow, cautious steps toward her. “I love you, doll. I’m gonna get you out of here, okay? It’s all going to be alright.”

Just when he thinks he’s got her hooked, the speakers shatter their second of tranquility.

“Deity, your mission is Bucky Barnes.” He demands, sounding almost rushed.

“I’ve got this asshole.” Tony calls through the comms.

Bucky’s eyes widen as he watches the emotion disappear instantly and that glazed, evil look wash over once more. Reaching to the back of her uniform, she yanks her dagger out and goes to shove it through the soldier’s torso, but he grabs the blade with his metal hand, stopping it midway.

“Look at me.”

She ignores him, eyes narrowing on his hand on the weapon, trying to get it out of his grasp.

“Deity, look at me!” He demands once more, finally getting her attention.

Without another thought, he wraps his hand around the back of her head.

“I love you, (Y/N).”

And his lips are on hers.

“If I ever end up under HYDRA’s control again, promise me you’ll just kill me.”

He remembers her words all too well, but he also remembers how he managed to talk his way out of not making that promise. He could never make that promise.

Once the man feels her entire body slacken in his arms, he pulls back slowly and scans over her face.

“Come back to me, doll.”

(Y/N)’s eyes remain closed for a few seconds before they open, tears instantly pouring over and her expression holds fear, staring back at Bucky’s. He rests both hands on her face.

“(Y/N)…” He breathes. The woman manages to nod, dropping the dagger in her right hand and slapping her palm over her agape mouth as she cries.

“Bucky,” The girl sobs, diving into his arms.

“Steve!” The brunet quickly calls as he lowers himself to his knees with (Y/N) in his arms.

“(Y/N) is back with us.” Clint says through the comms.

“We’ve got Rumlow on the jet, locked up ready to go.” Rhodey responds.

“We’ll head over now, give these guys fifteen minutes before leaving.” Nat adds, nodding at Steve as her and Clint head on out.

“Building is all clear.” Sam adds.

Steve drops to his knees beside Bucky and looks at the woman who’s clinging on The Winter Soldier for dear life. Sobs wrack her body and she’s trembling like hell.

“Doll, look at me.” Buck tries to soothe, but she shakes her head. “Please, just for a moment.”

After a few seconds, (Y/N) forces her head back away from his chest and looks up, meeting his worried stare before noticing the blond beside him who looks just as worried.

Using one hand to keep hold of Bucky, her other hand returns to covering her mouth.

“You’re safe, sweetheart. I promise you you’re safe now.” Cap speaks up first. He keeps his hands to himself, unsure of how to respond to her.

“They’re gone, (Y/N).” Bucky adds, watching the silent question linger in her eyes. “They’re all absolutely gone.” He confirms. “They’re not gonna touch you ever again, I swear.”

The woman manages to nod, flickering her gaze between her two lovers.

“Let’s get you home, yeah?” The brunet murmurs, reaching out for her hand whilst Steve does the same.

A whimper escapes her and she nods, unable to speak.

Bucky lifts her up and glances at Steve.

“You okay?”

The blond nods, forcing a smile as his worried eyes land on his girlfriend.

“Yeah. Yeah, I think so.”

///

“How’re you feeling today, (Y/N)?” Bruce asks as he checks her vitals as he has done the last few days. No response, as usual. “Those two are still sat outside like sitting ducks.” He chuckles, hoping to get any form of response out of her, but she remains motionless as she lays on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

The man sighs after running his checks and looks down at her.

“What’re you worried about, (Y/N)?” He asks. “We still love you, you know?”

“You shouldn’t.” (Y/N) whispers, voice slightly strained as they’re the first words she’s spoken in days.

“You can’t punish yourself for this, (Y/N). You know you can’t. Tony feels guilty, you know? He built this tower to protect everyone and he thinks it’s his fault that those assholes managed to get in here and get to you. He hates himself, and I’m not trying to make you feel bad about it, but you have to understand that he doesn’t blame you, nor hold anything against you. He was worried beyond compare, (Y/N). We all were.” Bruce tells her, watching the emotions flicker behind her eyes. “They’re worried about you. Buck especially. He’s scared you’re going to hate him because he didn’t do what you asked him to if it happened again.”

This catches (Y/N)’s attention, head turning to meet his stare.

“I could never hate him.” She whispers.

The brunet forces a smile.

“You don’t need to tell me that. There’s two super soldiers outside this door who are desperate to have their girl back.”

He sees the gulp that hits her throat as she nods.

“Want me to get them?”

“Can I just… Bucky… God, Steve’s gonna- I don’t-“ She trips over her words, tears pooling in her eyes.

“(Y/N), listen to me,” Bruce begins again. “You want Bucky alone first, that’s fine. We all understand. In fact, I imagine Steve will understand the most. Bucky is your get-out-of-jail-free card when it comes to HYDRA. We get it.”

(Y/N) continues to nod her head.

Bruce strides over to the door, opening it and letting himself out before closing it again. Bucky and Steve are instantly up on their feet, as they have done every time Bruce as exited the room.

“She was reluctant to say this because she doesn’t want you to hate her,” The man begins, flickering his gaze between the two men before landing on Steve.

“She needs Bucky first.” The blond breathes, knowing what’s coming.

“I’m glad you chose the word need instead of want, because she wants nothing more than both of you, but she’s scared and we know that Barnes is her HYDRA safe haven.”

Steve nods and takes a deep breath.

“I know. I know. I just- God, is she okay?” His eyes show desperation.

Buck turns around and pulls the man into a tight embrace, his own body trembling.

“I’m sorry.” The brunet whispers, Steve returning the hug.

“Don’t be sorry. I don’t mind, I understand, I just miss her.”

“She’s getting there, Steve; I actually got answers out of her today. She thinks everyone hates her, as (Y/N) does, but she’s realising. She just needs him to assure her.” Bruce answers the captain’s earlier question.

Steve nods and pulls away from Bucky’s embrace, feeling a peck on his lips.

“I’ll bring her back to us.” Buck promises before heading toward the door, knocking before entering.

His heart wrenches at the sight of his girl, sniffling and whimpering as tears stream down her face, her body bandaged up from the bruises she received.

“(Y/N),” He breathes, striding over and reaching for her hand, watching her head snap around to look at him, eyes wide. “It’s me, doll, it’s me, it’s Bucky.”

It takes her a few moments to come around, quick, heavy exhales pouring from her lungs.

“Bucky,” She whispers. The man forces a smile.

“Yeah, doll, it’s me.”

Reaching up with trembling arms, (Y/N) grasps his shirt and pulls him down toward her, Buck sitting on the edge of her bed at an angle, facing toward her best he can, and pulls her into a tight embrace.

“It’s over, (Y/N). It’s completely over, I promise.”  He mumbles into her hair, planting kisses there.

“I hurt Nat.” She mewls, the soldier shaking his head.

“She’s fine, doll. You know her, she can take a beating before she starts to complain. You barely scratched her. You came back to us before that. You know why? Because they don’t control you, (Y/N). You’re stronger than them and you proved it. I’m sorry we weren’t there. Stevie and I hate the fact that we weren’t there to stop them hurting you but we swear, we won’t let them near you again.”

Tilting her head up, her glassy eyes meet her lover’s and they’re instantly drawn to each other, lips connecting.

“I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Buck.” She ends her sentence with a lingering pause.

“What is it?” He asks, knowing she wants to say something more.

“Stevie.” Her voice sounds so tentative, it breaks Bucky’s heart. His girl is the most strong, confident woman he’s ever known and she’s never sounded more scared.

“Wanna see Steve, baby?”

(Y/N) gulps but nods.

“Just Stevie.”

“Just Stevie, doll. No-one else but us three.” Buck confirms. “Let me just go and get him, alright? He missed you so much, (Y/N).”

“Did he see me?” She whispers, meeting her lover’s gaze once more.

Bucky shakes his head.

“I made sure of it.”

The brunet heads over to the door and opens it, seeing Tony and Nat have now joined Steve.

“Steve,” He calls, gesturing his head to the room. The blond’s eyes widen and he’s instantly on his feet. “She needs you.”

The captain walks into the room, Bucky lingering behind, knowing Steve needs his time with her for a moment.

“How is she?” Tony asks the man by the door. He sighs.

“She’ll come round. She’s stronger than all of us combined, mentally.” Bucky states, Tony nodding in agreement.

(Y/N)’s eyes meet Steve’s and she can’t stop tears flowing over once again.

“Stevie,” She whimpers, arms reaching out toward him.

“Oh, sweetheart,” The man breathes, completely taken aback by her childlike actions, but knows that she needs this. She needs to be comforted, to be in a position where she knows she can rely on others to look after he. “You’re okay, (Y/N). You’re safe.” He murmurs, taking her into his arms and holding her as close as he can.

He can feel himself tearing up as he holds her in his arms once again.

“God, baby, I’m so glad you’re safe.’

“I’m so sorry.” (Y/N) cries, allowing herself to be carried like a child by her lover.

“Shh, don’t apologise. Don’t you dare apologise for this. This wasn’t you, it was them, but they’re gone now, okay? They’re gone and they’re never coming near you or Bucky ever again, I swear it.” Steve states, voice wavering as tears spill but he tries to stay strong for her.

“I love you so much, Steve.” She sniffles, Steve turning his head and kissing the side of her own.

“I love you too, (Y/N). So much.”

Bucky comes back in and smiles with sad eyes at the sight of his two partners. (Y/N) opens her eyes, feeling the stare on her, and forcing a smile through her tears at the brunet.

“James,” She whispers, reaching toward him with one arm, Steve keeping her up.

No more words are spoken as the soldier comes over and joins their embrace, all of them knowing that it’ll take time before any of them can be alone again.

Three weeks later, (Y/N) was back in her room but barely left it, often left with one, if not both, but Tony comes in with Bruce one day.

“If it isn’t my favourite trio.” The playboy grins.

“What’s up?” Bucky immediately asks, feeling his girl curl into him as the men enter the room.

“(Y/N), I have a favour to ask.”

The girl glances up at the man with a questioning expression.

“Can I borrow your two super soldiers for thirty minutes to an hour? Bruce will stick around with you, I promise we won’t be far, we’ll be in the conference room on the seventeenth floor, alright?” He requests, sitting down on the edge of the bed besides Bucky’s legs and giving the woman a look of seriousness and promise.

(Y/N)’s body tenses at the request but she knows Tony wouldn’t ask this if it wasn’t important.

“It’s nothing about missions or anything, I swear, princess.”

Normally she’d ask why he can’t just say what he needs to say to them here. Ask why she can’t go with them, but she knows if she should be there, she would be.

“I’m so down to continue watching Friends, (Y/N).” Bruce grins, making the girl force a small smile.

“Okay.”

Bucky and Steve daren’t give their input, also knowing that Tony wouldn’t do this unless it was important.

“We won’t be long, doll.” The brunet whispers, pressing a kiss to his girl’s head.

“Try not to talk Bruce’s ear off, sweetheart.” Steve jokes, also kissing her head.

The three head on down to the room, nothing being said. They can tense Tony’s stress.

“First of all, I’m sorry to split you from your girl.” He begins.

“It’s fine, just talk.” Steve responds.

“I got footage,” Tony states, watching the mens’ eyes narrow in question. “Of what they did to her.”

That’s when their eyes widen. Bucky zones out completely as he remembers seeing it himself too many times.

“Do you want to see it?”

Steve looks at Bucky awaiting his response. If it was solely up to the captain, he would say yes without thinking twice, but he knows the pain that seeing it caused Bucky in the past.

“Where’s Rumlow?” The Winter Soldier questions, face tense.

“Downstairs.” Tony response, referring to their prison in the basements of the tower.

“I want him.” Bucky growls, the billionaire nodding.

“He’s all yours.”

The brunet finally nods.

“Show me.”

“FRIDAY, play the videos of (Y/N).”

“Of course, sir.” The AI answers, displaying the first clip on screen.

Steve audibly growls at the sight of her strapped to the chair that looked worse than a dentists chair.

“That sick fucking bastard put her back in the same fucking room.” Buck hisses, clenching his fists.

“If you don’t start voluntarily complying, I’m gonna have to get the soldier back in.”

“NO! Don’t hurt him, don’t fucking touch him!”

“Then I suggest you start doing as you’re told.”

The more videos they watch, the more furious and emotional they get.

“Stop.” Bucky demands, seeing Steve’s tears and fury. “Steve,”

The blond turns his head to face him.

“You can try and stop me all you want but I am killing that man. I know I swore I wouldn’t kill again, but I refuse to let him go. I made that mistake once and I refuse to make it again.”

Cap doesn’t respond, but his eyes show that he isn’t going to try and stop him.

“Tony,”

“I ain’t playing no part, but I’m not disagreeing with you. Steve can’t go back to her alone, she’ll ask questions.”

“Then he can wait here.” Buck states, glancing at his lover who nods.

The billionaire leads the soldier to the elevator and down to the floor he’s on, opening the door to the room with the cell in the centre. Bucky storms in without second thought.

“Oh, well look who decided to show their face. Long-time-no-see, Soldier.”

“Why?” Bucky seethes, eyes ablaze.

“Why what? Why did I break into Stark’s tower? Why did I not hurt any of the Avengers? Why did I kidnap your pretty little Deity?”

“Don’t call her that.” The man’s voice is threatening. Rumlow notices that this isn’t an empty warning. He’s not making it out of this alive.

“She cried for you, you know? Wouldn’t stop screaming your name and that… Captain’s. Shame I couldn’t really understand it when she was choking on her own blood.” Brock shrugs, smirking as he watches the soldier’s fist slam on the glass cell walls.

“Why her?! Why not me?!”

“If you used that big brain of yours, Soldier, you’d realise that the mission you and your precious captain were sent on the day I got your girl was all a set up to get you away from her, but you didn’t even bat an eyelid.”

Bucky turns around and grabs a gun off of the table and unlocks the cell door, strolling in and raising the weapon.

“The last thing she said before she became my Deity was nothing but begs for me to kill her.” The criminal grins, but before Bucky can pull the trigger, another gun goes off, straight through the bastard’s head.

The brunet’s eyes widen and turns around, glancing up to see Clint and Nat, Clint with the gun in his hands.

“You’re not a killer, Barnes.”

“Why… What? Why would you-“

Clint shrugs and points down.

“He asked me to do it if you were gonna.”

The soldier looks back down and sees Tony leaning against the wall.

“The words: Bucky Barnes is not a killer, might sound sentimental, but in reality, I am not having your girlfriend, the girl I see as my sister, have a killer as a boyfriend. The Winter Soldier was a murderer, I am not allowing Bucky Barnes to become one as well.” Iron Man states.

“But Clint-“

“I’m already a killer, Barnes.” The archer shrugs. “Besides, any guilt I felt was talked out of me by this one.” He adds, gesturing his head to Natasha. “I don’t feel guilty for killing him. He deserved to die.”

“Go back to your super soldier and super girl, Barnes.” Nat adds, the man nodding.

“Thank you.”

The amount of appreciation and sincerity in the ex-assassin’s words makes the trio understand how much he truly thanks them.

“Are you okay?” Steve asks, dashing to his male lover the second he re-enters the room, hands flying up to his face.

Bucky’s hands reach up also, lightly holding onto Steve’s wrists, meeting his gaze and smiling.

“Yeah.”

“Is he…” The blond trails off.

“I didn’t do it.”

Steve furrows his brows.

“Clint…” He whispers, watching his man’s surprised expression. “Tony didn’t want me to become the killer I once was.”

Cap’s arms pull the man in to a right embrace.

“It’s over, Steve.”

“Let’s go to our girl, yeah?”

The knock on the door makes (Y/N) flinch but Bruce’s calming words keep her grounded.

“FRIDAY, who’s at the door?”

“Sergeant Barnes and Captain Rogers, sir.”

Banner glances at (Y/N) and she smiles, nodding.

“Let them in.”

The woman sits upright and stares at the men with a questioning look, but Bucky simply smiles. Bruce stands up and silently takes his leave, Steve giving him a thankful nod.

“Never again, doll.” The brunet promises, (Y/N) tearing up at his words. “Never again.”

///

“This film is garbage!” Sam whines, throwing his head back and adds a groan onto the end of his sentence for emphasis.

“You’re garbage, Bird Boy!” (Y/N) responds, throwing her empty, plastic bottle at his head, hitting perfectly.

“Ow!” He cries out, grabbing the bottle and instantly throwing it back, Bucky’s metal arm flying out in front of his girl before it can hit her. “Unfair!”

Steve and (Y/N) laugh at the exchange and shake their heads.

“You need yourself some bodyguards as good as mine, Sammy.” The girl’s laughter fills the room and it makes the mens’ hearts swell. Sam tuts.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, what’s the next movie on the list?”

“But I love this!” She emphasises her whiny voice and Sam rolls his eyes.

“I agree with Princess Peach, Scooby-Doo is a fantastic movie!” Tony calls, diving over the sofa and sitting down beside Sam. “Now shut it.”

“Really?!” Falcon exclaims, giving Tony a raised brow.

“Damn straight.” The billionaire grins, (Y/N) leaning her head against Steve’s chest, his back facing the armrest of the sofa, one leg hanging off the edge whilst the other is bent at the knee along the backrest. Her legs are resting atop Bucky’s thighs as he sits regularly on the sofa.

“You okay?” Cap whispers into her ear, arms wrapped her torso.

(Y/N) smiles and leans back into his chest, glancing at Sam and Tony who are bickering, Bruce and Nat who are chatting away across the room, Clint and Rhodey who are having some sort of drinking competition, Wanda and Scott talking about her power, and then the two lovers of her life looking at her with so much love in their eyes.

These people forgave her. They love her and care for her. They protect her and will fight for her. They’re her family when she had no-one but Bucky. They accepted her with open arms. They disregarded HYDRA’s venom inside her. They treat her as an equal. She made herself believe she is an equal.

“I’ve never been happier.”

[pileontheyears]

Misty Playlist for Misty Day

A Character Study in Insecurity and Self-Love

Green Eyes, Red Hair - Gaelic Storm

She's a cup of tea, she's a Jaegerbomb She's an angel, she's an Amazon She's a poem, she's an alphabet She's a violin with a bayonet She's a revolution, she's a peace accord She's a grain of sand, she's the Cliffs of Moher She's Friday night, she's Sunday Morning She's a fair wind, she's a sailor's warning

I think one of the main reasons I love Misty so much is she’s a bit of an oxymoron. She has so many contradicting personality traits which fleshes her character out. She’s tough but she’s vulnerable, she’s romantic but she’s abrasive, she’s outspoken but she’s insecure. Oftentimes characters and people are put into boxes, if you act one way all the others traits should act accordingly. But Misty represents how that’s not how people work, you can have completely opposite traits existing in you and that’s ok.

Insecurities - LOVA

Meet my insecurities Let’s count in one two three Not smart, not pretty like a star Not weak, not tough, not nearly good enough Meet my insecurities  Let’s count in one two three Not small, not skinny like a doll Not sleak, not rough, not nearly good enough

Misty’s childhood has shaped her into an insecure young girl. From what we know, her older sisters constantly tell her how she isn’t pretty, calling her a runt. This would be reinforced as everyone in Cerulean City would come to see them perform leaving Misty to be ignored and alone. We don’t have any information about her parents, but Misty’s sisters would be given gifts that she would later get on as hand-me-downs. It could be assumed those presents were given by their parents, so not only would Misty be left out of playing with her sisters, but her parents probably never bought her a gift of her own. All of this reinforces the negative message that Misty is not worth anything. She feels she isn’t pretty and she’s not as good as her sisters. So when anyone like Ash brings up how she isn’t pretty, it obviously brings up those insecurities that she already has. 

How Far I’ll Go - Auli’i Cravalho

I’ve been staring at the edge of the water Long as I can remember, never really knowing why I wish I could be the perfect daughter But I come back to the water, no matter how hard I try Every turn I take, every trail I track Every path I make, every road leads back To the place I know, where I can not go, where I long to be

As Misty grows up, she has this longing to go out and explore the world. Part of it comes from her insecurities, perhaps she thought she can’t be as pretty as her sisters but maybe she could become a stronger trainer. She wants to be able to prove to them and to herself that she can be worth something. Deep down, she has a genuine love for water and Pokemon and a desire to travel.

Oh No! - Marina and the Diamonds

I know exactly what I want and who I wanna be I know exactly why I walk and talk like a machine I’m now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy  Oh, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh! One track mind, one track heart If I fail, I’ll fall apartMaybe it is all a test Cause I feel like I’m the worst, so I always act like I’m the best

Misty’s insecurity begins to take form in a superiority complex. Throughout her entire life, no one has told Misty she is good enough, so she gathers that if no one else will talk her up then she will. Of course, just because she says how great and beautiful she is, does not mean she actually believes it. In fact, just the opposite. Because she receives no outside validation, all of her confidence has no real meaning, her self-compliments just leave her empty. 

Dear Future Husband - Meghan Trainer

Dear future husband Here’s a few things You’ll need to know if you wanna be My one and only all my life Dear future husband If you wanna get that special loving Tell me I’m beautiful each and every night

This next portion of the playlist focuses on Misty’s outlook on romance. Misty is a huge romantic, she loves love and wants her own happily ever after. Misty’s ideal romance is full of cliches, she wants a knight in shining armor, a prince charming who will sweep her off her feet with extravagant gifts and big romantic gestures. Misty’s ideal romantic partner is just that though, he has no name or personality, he’s just someone she wants to have shower her with affection. Again this could stem from her lack of affection in her childhood, she wants someone who will tell her she’s pretty and give her the love she never got as a kid.

Use Somebody - Laura Jansen 

I’ve been roaming around Always looking down at all I see Painted faces, fill the places I can’t reach You know that I could use somebody You know that I could use somebody Someone like you, and all you know, and how you speak

The switch in Misty’s feelings, she no longer is looking for love, love has found her. We see this change when Misty could have the romantic ideal with Rudy, he’s charming, suave, and definitely would be the one to fill the role of her dream guy showering her with gifts and compliments- but that’s not what she wants anymore. Instead, she wants someone like Ash, who Misty absolutely did not picture as her ideal at all. However,  she accepts and wants him because of who he is, and isn’t that what love is all about?

Tangled Up In Me - Skye Sweetnam

You wanna know more, more, more about me Gotta know reverse psychology I’m the reason why you can’t get to sleep I’m the girl you never get just quite what you see

For all the sentimental songs on this playlist, there still is Misty’s harsh attitude towards Ash. Misty has always acted this way around him, even before realizing her feelings. Misty’s rude behavior definitely isn’t going to go away, especially when Ash is just as guilty insulting her any chance he gets. While Misty could be trying to push his buttons to get under his skin for fun, or to see how he’d react, maybe it’s just from being scared. She’s acted horribly to him, and now that she feels something more, she doesn’t want him to know. So she decides she’ll keep up appearances by just being the hot-tempered friend following him for her bike.

Things I’ll Never Say - Avril Lavigne

It don’t do me any good It’s just a waste of time What use is it to you What’s on my mind If it ain’t coming out We’re not going anywhere So why can’t I just tell you that I care

Following that same theme, this is Misty’s more vulnerable side that she’d never voice (the “Misty’s Song” of the playlist). Misty might feel like she could tell Ash how she feels about him but of course does not. Part of her feels angry and annoyed that he doesn’t seem as concerned about her as she is with him, but because of that insecurity she has it makes sense she’d think it’s no use, she has no chance. After all, he pokes fun at her appearance a lot, she feels like she already knows how he feels about her, and it’s not positive.

Better Place - Rachael Platten

But it feels like I’ve opened my eyes again And the colors are golden and bright again There’s a song in my heart, I feel like I belong It’s a better place since you came along It’s a better place since you came along

Switching from romance, Misty does feel like she’s found a family with Ash and Brock. After a childhood of not fitting in, she finally has people who love her for who she is. She can finally be herself, she doesn’t feel like she needs to measure up to anyone, she finally feels like she belongs. 

“So you’ve been traveling with Ash and Brock for a long time?" “They’re like my new family.”

Black Hole - She & Him

And it just gets so foggy It’s nowhere in here And it’s everywhere else That I don’t want to be But I’m stuck here Getting misty over you I’m alone, on a bicycle for two

The journey has to come to an end, though. Misty’s family feels like it’s breaking up, and is understandably upset when Ash seems unfazed by her upcoming departure. She doesn’t want to leave, she wants to stay with the people she’s grown to love, the people who were more like family to her than her own sisters. She rides off on her bike, alone.

Head Above Water - Avril Lavigne

And I can’t see in the stormy weather I can’t seem to keep it all together And I can’t swim the ocean like this forever And I can’t breathe God, keep my head above water I lose my breath at the bottom Come rescue me, I’ll be waiting I’m too young to fall asleep

Misty finds herself in over her head as she takes over the Cerulean Gym. Not only does she struggle with her fear of Gyarados and the possibility of the gym being shut down, but she’s also still struggling with her own insecurities. Without Ash and Brock, she doesn’t think she can be the Cerulean Gym Leader, she’s terrified of not being good enough. She nearly dies twice trying to keep the gym afloat, she literally and figuratively is drowning.

Woman - Kesha

I do what I want, say what you say I work real hard every day I’m a motherfucking woman, baby, alright I don’t need a man to be holding me too tight I’m just having fun with my ladies here tonight I’m a motherfucker

After Misty is able to handle the issues at the Cerulean Gym, she finally has a sense of validation that came from her. She was able to save the gym, not her sisters, not Ash and Brock, her. Her insecurities will never go away, but she has a sense of self-confidence that she never had. Now when she talks about herself being beautiful and strong, she means it. She doesn’t need anyone to tell her that she's worthy of love, she knows it. She’s worked hard and sees she has value, whether others see it or not.

[coeurdastronaute]

Either/Or: Found 5

Previously on Found

Deep in the island, the construction tape was strung all over the still-damaged parts of the research facilities. Much had already been repaired, but the rest was either too broken or took much longer. But the entire base was altered irrevocably in a way other than physically. It still bore the scars of the powerful alien escaping, and it stung with the realization of just how overwhelming and otherworldly she was.

The floor was patched, the walls were reinforced, the data was collected and fragmented videos were strung together to put a picture of the newest alien on Lex Luthor’s desk. Incessantly, he poured over the files, simultaneously marvelling and growing more and more upset with how overwhelming this threat was. He already knew Superman, studied his power and how to contain him, and though he hadn’t been able to yet, he felt an edge. This new alien though, she seemed more powerful with the unfortunate benefit of not loving humanity, as the other Kryptonian continually vowed.

In the dimly lit office near the top of the research labs, the video of the chaos of the alien waking replayed once again as Lex scoured the internet for sightings. His team was sworn to absolute secrecy, and no one mentioned the escape, but it changed the entire feeling. Beneath the normal days, an undercurrent, a hum of fear was stoked.

Alone and isolated, the owner and scientist furrowed, the cloudy features of his angular face barely moved as eyes darted back and forth, taking everything in as quickly as possible. Not much else occupied his mind lately, much to his sister’s dismay. While she still continually begged him to participate in the business she wasn’t supposed to be running. Emails piled up, phone calls were ignored, and still he sat there, day after day, obsessively plotting.

Deep in the island, in the middle of the night, Lex Luthor ignored another call from his sister, and he began to search through the newest research results from his team, preparing for the day he finally found the alien that got away. Plans were made, and he was preparing to finally rid the earth of all problems.

The phone buzzed once again, and he silenced it by throwing it against the wall in his office so that it crashed,shattering into a bunch of smaller pieces. He didn’t move another muscle, just the minimum required for that task, and back again he was on his computer.

If he’d answered the phone, he would have heard the slight edge in his sister’s voice, the annoyance at his avoiding her, at the fact that she was running everything, and he was draining resources in a way that was hard to justify, that she wanted to hear how her battery was doing in long-term and rigorous testing.

But Lex didn’t hear any of that. Instead, he poured through the rest of the footage once again, and he wrote down notes of ideas of things to kill the powerful aliens he viewed as the greatest threat to humanity, and he slowly but surely lost much of his own.

XXXXXXXXXX

“I’m so excited! This is going to be great!” Kara cheered eagerly.

The entire car trip into work, wide eyes stared at all of the city, enjoying the dim kind of dawn that was stretched and pulled apart in winter into nothing more than pale sunlight and wool clouds. It was going to be a cloudy day, but it did nothing to deter Kara from enjoying the freedom of finally accompanying Lena into work.

It took a few days of Lena having a fake illness and balking her assistant’s attempts to come over and bring supplies. It took a few days of figuring out what to do with Kara, and how to make it all work. It was a few days of Lena working very hard to not think about the new alien girl with the pretty smile and sad eyes. It was a few days of experiencing everything for the first time through a stranger’s eyes.

“It’s going to be boring, I can assure you. My job isn’t exciting.”

“We had purpose and jobs on Krypton,” Kara explained. “I know how jobs work.”

“What was yours?”

“I was a… I think the word is prostitute?”

“Excuse me?” Lena choked on her tea, nearly spilling on her shirt. She bolted at the word and wasn’t sure how to recover.

“You know, I helped with studying, and I worked with the younger ones to help them understand things,” Kara furrowed. “Is that the wrong word? Is it profiteer? Profiler?”

“Professor.”

“Yes,” she smiled and nodded, happy to resume looking at the tall buildings and all of the glass and metal that occasionally reminded her of her home. “I was a professor.”

From the other side of the car, Lena thought about the words and about the idea that Kara was a prostitute and that was distracting enough. She didn’t look at the pretty girl with the pressed slacks and button-up shirt. She couldn’t.

“What did you teach?”

“History and Sciences.”

“History of what?”

“My people,” Kara smiled sadly before catching herself. “And then I taught the young ones the history of our sciences.”

“That sounds like a noble life.”

“It was fun, and I loved it.”

The car finally slowed in front of Lena’s building, and she prepared for what her day was about to turn into. Hiding an alien in plain sight seemed like the best course of action, which was kind of crazy, but then again, her brother was actually insane, and at this point, beating crazy with crazy seemed like the best bet.

“Do you mind that your life has led you here now?” Lena asked, concerned about someone else’s happiness, which was oddly foreign for her.

“I don’t know. I can’t think about it all too much. Just today. I can live today.”

“And today you’re okay.”

“Today I’m okay.”

The driver made his way around to open the door, and Lena smiled as she gave Kara’s hand a squeeze, assuring her yet again that things would be okay, though she wasn’t sure how. Kara grinned at the contact, the tips of her ears going a bit pink.

“I’ll see you at six, Ms. Luthor,” the driver explained as she opened the door.

“Shall we?”

XXXXXXXXXX

The normal morning for Jess consisted of pre-arranging her boss’ schedule, returning emails that accumulated in the night, gathering reports, sorting internal mail, and generally running the tone of the day. Most mornings were boring in that they were quiet, starting with a stillness before the rest of the world woke up. Jess arrived first, turning on the lights to the top floor, stacking the reports just how her boss liked, surveying the multiple schedules.

For some reason, it wasn’t like most mornings.

The coffee shop was out of her favorite flavor and skim milk. The weather was stuck between warm and muggy, which did weird things to her hair. The traffic was deceptively heavy. The train was uncharacteristically full for so early in the morning. The security guard wasn’t the usual guy. A series of small irregularities snuck up on the secretary in a way that she refused to notice until it was much too late.

The elevator dinged at exactly five after nine, and Jess stood and reached for her schedule book and the coffee she prepared for her boss just a few minutes before, a safeguard against the complaints that were inevitably about to occur.

“Good morning, Ms. Luthor. How are you?”

Without really looking, Jess met Lena’s eyes and greeted her. It took a few moments for her to realize there was another body in the elevator. A beautiful body. A body attached to a pretty face, with an angular jaw and warm, melt-in-the-sun eyes.

“Um, this is my… this is an intern. Hand-selected.”

“Hand-selected?”

“Yes, hand-selected,” Lena nodded after looking at Kara for confirmation. “It’s complicated.”

“Hi. I’m Kara,” the alien grinned, over-joyed and much too awake for so early in the morning.

“Hand-selected after you took off for 2 days?” The secretary asked, somewhat ignoring the peppy newcomer.

“Yes. Those are unrelated facts.”

“Are they?”

The trio moved toward Lena’s office as she attempted to dodge the questions and start her day as normally as she could. There was really no hope of that with her assistant and the pretty girl that was now her shadow-- a gorgeous, beautiful shadow who had dimples and a jaw she wanted to cut her tongue on--

“What?” Lena furrowed and cleared her throat as she tugged at the collar around her throat, her secretary looking at her for an answer expectantly.

“You have a full day today. Perhaps I can find something for your intern to do?”

“Hm? Oh, yes. That would be… yes. Kara, you have a knack for sciences, why don’t we have Jess set you up in the archive department. You can see what we’ve given up on.”

“Just a step above the mail room.”

“The mail room sounds like fun.”

“Then go to the mailroom,” the CEO shook her head. “Don’t go far, please.”

“Yes ma’am,” Kara fake saluted and looked expectantly at the tiny secretary who came up to just above her elbow.

Jess looked at her boss, waiting to see the truth in the present situation. She just got avoiding eyes and a stern glance. She smiled and nodded before leaving the office.

With a deep breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding, Lena flopped into her chair and braced her head in her hands before shaking it against herself. She was going to lose her mind before the day was over, she was certain.

XXXXXXXXXX

“Hi, I’m Kara. I’m from Metropolis. I am a PhD student interning here for the foreseeable future. I like movies and I love ice cream and donuts. I recently discovered that of all the genders on this planet, I am mostly attracted to one but also like one person. The sun is a beautiful star, and I think sunset is superior to sunrise. My favorite flavor of ice cream is strawberry or peanut butter surprise. My favorite cereal is Lucky Charms.”

The woman at the counter to the Archives floor stared at the newcomer and finally dropped her hand after shaking it vigorously. Just three years from retirement, Norah McLaughlin, the intrepid organizer of all things file related, the pursuer of patents, the copyright expert, the organizer of it all, the keeper of the history, stood at her desk and wondered what just walked through her door.

The perky intern waited for her to answer, smiling happily and oblivious to what all of that energy felt like on the receiving end.

“Ms. Luthor said that you have access to all of the discarded projects, and I would like to start looking at them. I have extensive training in the fields of what you might call astro-chemistry, physics, and a baseline, though probably above average, foray into biomedical studies on a number of...um, species.”

With an adjustment of her glasses, the intern smiled again after her description.

“I will leave you both to that, then,” Jess nodded. “If you need anything, please let me know.”

“Sure. Thank you, Jess.”

“Good luck, Ms. McLaughlin.”

The administrator remained standing there, suddenly confused as to how her day just changed from its normal, standard routine, to the whirlwind of being in charge of Lena Luthor’s personal intern.

“Where--where would you like to start?”

“I guess at the beginning,” Kara nodded, buzzing with excitement.

XXXXXXXXXX

At 1:48pm, Lena officially knew she was in trouble.

She knew it about a week beforehand when a soggy alien appeared and her brother siphoned millions into a fund to hunt and prepare for the inevitable attack, though she couldn’t particularly figure out what kind of trouble it actually was going to be. There were a handful of options, of course. The plan would implode, she wouldn’t have a plan, she wouldn’t be able to outwit her brother, or a million other ways it could go sideways.

But for a few hours, Lena allowed herself a tiny ray of hope where she got some work done and didn’t spend every moment worrying. That was almost a complete lie. She spent every other moment worrying.

“Ms. Luthor, there’s been an… incident,” Jess interrupted as Lena read over a few reports. “An incident relating to your new… intern.”

Immediately, Lena perked up at the mention of Kara. She tried to hide it with annoyance but the act of caring and worrying, they came out immediately. Jess saw it and her worst fears were confirmed.

The secretary took a seat immediately, hurrying around the chairs in front of Lena’s desk and sitting on the very edge, ready to speak quickly, and to some degree, well outside of her own area of expertise and beyond her job description.

“What happened?” Lena sighed and put down her folder.

“There seemed to be a mix up with a research lab and an old patent for flexible solar paneling sensors. There was a small fire, and a large complaint lodged by the former researcher,” she explained, looking at her notes to follow the chain of events.

Lena shook her head and clenched her jaw.

“Ms. Luthor… I don’t mean to speak out of turn--”

“But you’re going to?”

“In some weird way, I consider you more than my boss. I don’t know if friend is the right term, but I respect you,” Jess continued, softening the CEO slightly against a reproach. With Lena’s slight agreement, she felt reinvigorated. “Whatever you do in your free time is your business, but I think people are going to start to talk about your intern.”

“Oh?”

Lena felt her spine stiffen as she placed both her palms on the desk and straighted at the remark, hoping to play it off.

“I, for one, am very happy.”

“Okay…”

“And I’m sure others will be upset about it, and I can see where the legal and maybe financial backlash will come in, which is why I have to say something.”

All of the blood in her body pooled at her fingertips, or so it felt. If Jess knew, if everyone knew that she, the Luthor of the alien-hating Luthors, was harboring an alien, and a dangerous one at that, the very blood of the sworn enemy of her own blood… it was a matter of time before her brother’s retribution was paid in full.

“I’ve done a little research, and there are already whispers of this on the internet.”

“Online? Since when?” Lena balked. “Show me!”

There was an instant of hesitation before her boss’ expectant hand pushed her to handing over her tablet with the bookmarked sites ready for her perusal.

“I think Kara is a wonderful person for you to spend time with, and I like that you’ve been out of the office like a normal human. But perhaps finding your girlfriend a job at the company wasn’t the best idea--”

The words faded off as Lena sputtered out an echo of the word ‘girlfriend.’ She felt the relief wash over her instantly as she sank into her chair and looked down at the screen.

The first article was a picture of the CEO and a stranger gazing intently at each other during a rather large brunch. The speculation was loose but enough to generate clicks. The next was an eyewitness account of Lena dressing her plaything, according to the headline, and spending thousands outfitting her in designer threads.

The relief was like a drug, and Lena blushed as she saw the paparazzi pictures of the two of them, and to their credit, they did look somewhat clandestine. It was the work of a skilled lens though, she told herself, and nothing more.

She froze at the image of the two of them in the park, ice cream cones in hand, herself laughing, genuinely laughing, for the first time in a long time. Lena wasn’t sure she ever saw a picture of herself in which she looked truly happy. But there she was, pressed alarmingly close to Kara, and with a beautiful girl who smiled back at her eagerly. Jess was still talking, but it didn’t matter for exactly sixteen seconds.

The new realization that Lena was now the subject of the gossip columns and had a supposed girlfriend was a new level of frightening, and she wasn’t sure she wouldn’t rather have her brother attempting to blow up her office.

“I’m sorry I put you in this position, Jess,” she offered. “I shouldn’t have done that to the company.”

“It might have been okay if she hadn’t actually attempted to work on a project.”

“A small fire?”

“Very small. Maybe six offices are damaged. Three totaled.”

Lena shook her head and leaned back in her chair again before digging her fingertips into the corners of her eyes.

“I suppose I should take my girlfriend home for the evening then.”

“Should we expect her back in the morning?” Jess asked as she stood.

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Is there anything I can do for you, Ms. Luthor?”

“Email me all of the information on our non-profits relating to education.”

Lena grabbed her bag and shoved a few things into it before making her way to the door in record time. She paused before opening it.

“Did she figure out the failed project?”

For a few seconds Jess paused and shook her hand with the knowledge.

“They think so. Just a few things to continue testing before results are available for you to look over.”

The CEO smiled slightly before turning the knob.

“Have a good night, Jess.”

“You as well, Ms. Luthor.”

Guilty and nervous, Kara sat in the chair by the elevator and brightened slightly at the sight of Lena leaving her office.

“I should apologize. I didn’t account for differences in atmosph--”

“You figured out how to adapt solar receptors to be extra effective while simultaneously being more malleable and even integratabtle into existing structures.”

“Um, yes?”

“I need you to tell me everything,” Lena grinned and held out her hand. “And then I think we should discuss dating.”

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Chapter 9; Operation time heist planning

*Author’s note*

Hey to all who have been giving my Bad wolf series more credit, thank you soo much for your patience, since I had gotten this done all last night in one sitting I hope you find this part enjoyable esp. since I’ve added the hero who was truly responsible for saving the world, and ALL WITH A HEIST!! Hope you all enjoy this part :)

Taglist:

@psychosupernatural

@plethora-of-things

@ixchel-9275

@waddles03

@platawnic

________________________________________________

Steve, Natasha, Bruce who was now a cross over between himself and the hulk now after 18 months in a gamma lab to bring the brain and brawn together, along with Scott Lang were now at the Avengers compound.

“So—who is this other person we’re expecting?” asked Scott.  As he said that, a portal soon opened to reveal Morowa walking through it.

*Morowa’s POV*

“Just who came up with this idea?” Scott jumped back and said.

“Okay….how did you…..”

“Basic portal configuration. It’s basic training every sorcerer must master.” I explained.

“Ahh that makes since.” He muttered. “Also I’m the one who came up with the idea. I’m S—”

“Scott Lang, otherwise known as Ant-man. I know who you are. Nice job with Darren Cross.” He looked at me like he was prideful of that.

“Wow I’ve—never been complimented like that before.”

“Glad you could make it Morowa.” Steve said to me.

“If it means getting my daughter as well as everyone else back, I’m willing to do anything. So Scott explain it to me.”

“Wait, wait hold on your—your daughter?” he questioned.  I went solemn and said.

“Yeah. You met her back in Germany, she was known back then as Bad Wolf.”

“Wait Wolf-girl’s your daughter? Oh my god was—was-was she…..”

“One of the millions to get blipped? Yes. Along with half of her people.”

“Ohh man I’m so sorry. I was worried my daughter was one of the many to get zapped after I came back. I was thankful that she wasn’t….” I turned away and bite my lower lip trying not to cry.  At least one parent didn’t get to have their child taken away.

“Scott.” Nat warned him.

“I’m sorry I—I’m not helping at all am I?”

“Just tell me your plan Lang.” I urged.

“Okay so here’s how it was. Five years ago, during Thanos, I was dealing with some stuff with my—well my…..Hope is….anyway long story short I was in the Quantum realm and she—she was supposed to pull me back but then…..”

“I’m so sorry Scott, must’ve been rough.”

“But here’s the thing. For me in the quantum realm it wasn’t five years. It was five hours.”

“Of course. Time works differently in the quantum dimension. And I said I didn’t believe her. Boy what she would’ve given to say I told you so to my face.” I muttered the last part.

“Who exactly?”

“Never mind. I think I know where you’re going with this. Are you suggesting that if we enter the quantum dimension from this point in time, we can figure a way to travel through it and exit at a different point in time?”

“Yeah like a time machine. How did you know I was going with it?”

“I’ve been taught of the quantum dimensions. It’s one of the billion multi-verses known to the sorcerers.”

“So you’re saying it’s possible to do it?” asked Nat.

“I mean the sorcerers are taught that we can slightly alter each dimension to our will. But no one has ever tried it in the quantum dimension due to its constant alteration but….yeah. I’d say it’s possible.”

“So you’ll help us?” asked Steve.

“Like I said, if it means bringing back my daughter, brother, sister and everyone that Thanos snapped away back. I’m willing to do anything.”

“Alright, Scott pull in your van and I’ll get some of the controls working. Steve get the backup generators running so that way we have extra power in case things go sideways.” Bruce said.  As we walked along, I felt Nat take my arm and she whispered to me.

“You got a minute?” she pulled me aside where the two of us were now alone and she said. “Where’s Rauri?”

“What?”

“Morowa don’t lie to me! When I got off the holo-comm with you the other night you said you’d tell me if Rauri was causing trouble. And Rhodey tells me that not only has Barton killed off a Mexican gang, but some of the bodies have been torn apart, limbs and all. Now I know only two animals that are capable of that and one of them got turned to dust five years ago. So I’m gonna ask you again. Where. Is. Rauri?”

“I think I know now. Believe me Nat for years I had no idea where he or the rest of the chimeras were. Shortly after you all returned from finding Thanos, he and all the chimeras disappeared. For five years I’ve been trying to track them till I did just yesterday. But then Dean tells me that for two years Rauri left them without a note except that he and Mitchell were the Alphas.”

Her face turned from betrayal to shock.  She turned away and I relaxed myself as I told her.

“I’ve heard what Barton has become. Trust me I’ve been there myself. Had it not been for T’Challa and Shuri, I was close to becoming what he is now.”

“So—is it too late for me to help him?” she asked brokenly.  Her voice tremored.

“Not if you get to him first before he completely falls off the rails. There still might be time for him. And with any luck, we might also find Rauri with him. We can bring them both back.” I placed my hand on her shoulder and squeezed it assuringly.

She turned to me and a soft smile spread across her face and the two of us embraced each other.

Later that day, we were doing the final checkups to do a test drive of Scott’s ‘Time Heist’ plan.

“Okay, here we go. Time travel test number one. Scott, fore up…the uhh—the van thing.” Bruce said from the controls.  Scott opened up his hideous brown van which revealed a miniature quantum machine tunnel which activated.

“Breakers are set. Backup generators are on standby.” Steve said as he walked towards us.

“Good. Because if we blow a grid, I don’t wanna lose uhh, tiny here in the 1950’s.” Bruce muttered in a closed mouth towards the last part gesturing towards Scott who was putting on his gloves.

“Excuse me?”

“He’s kidding. You can’t say things like that.”

“It was just a bad joke.” Stammered Bruce. Scott nodded it off and turned away as Nat muttered to him concerned.

“You were kidding right?”

“I don’t have no idea. We’re talking about time travel here. Either it’s all a joke or none of it is.” He muttered to Nat worriedly before proclaiming loud and assuringly to Scott as he gave him a thumbs up, “We’re good! Get your helmet on.” Scott did just that as Bruce then explained to him, “Scott, I’m gonna send you back a week. Let you walk around for an hour, then bring you back in ten seconds. Make sense?”

“Perfectly not confusing.” Scott nonchalantly said with a wave of his hand.

“Good luck Scott. You got this.” Said Steve.

“You’re right. I do Captain America.” And with that he vanished into the quantum tunnel.  

Then as he began striking some buttons, Bruce said.

“On a count of three. Three….two….one!” he then turned a switch and soon someone came back.

“Uhh guys?” It was a teenage boy. “This—this doesn’t feel right?”

“What is this?” Steve questioned.

“Who is….who is that?” Nat asked confused.  As Bruce began to try and punch more coordinates in I asked.

“Is that Scott?”

“Yes it’s Scott.” He said before suddenly disappeared and as Bruce tried to figure out what was going on, someone else came back, this time an old man.

“What’s going on, Bruce?” asked Steve.  Old Scott complained about the pain in his back.

“What is this?” I asked.

“Hold on a second.” Bruce muttered as he frantically tried to fix the problem. “Could I get a little space?” he asked Steve who immediately complied as he asked him.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you bring him back?”

“I’m working on it.” With a few more clicks, beeps, and banging of the side computer, old Scott went away to reveal another shocking surprise.

“It’s a baby.” I bluntly stated.

“It’s Scott!” Bruce exclaimed to me.

“As a baby!” Steve argued.

“He’ll grow!” Bruce argued back.

“Bring Scott back now!” I demanded.

“When I say kill the power, kill the power.” Bruce urged to Nat.

“Oh my god.” She muttered as she raced towards the power controls.  I took Steve’s hand nervously while Bruce flicked a couple of switches before telling Nat to kill the power.  She did and soon coming out looked like Scott but I was worried Bruce did something to him to mess him up even more.

“Somebody peed my pants.” He said.

“Oh thank god.” I sighed with relief. Present Scott was back.

“But I don’t know if it was baby me or old me……Or just—me me.”

“Time travel!” Bruce proclaimed with his arms spread out in victory.  Steve and I just looked at him. “What?” I sighed and turned away pinching the bridge of my nose while Steve walked away. “I-I see this as an absolute win.”

“Never send a scientist to do a sorcerer’s job.” I muttered as I walked out.

As the day went on, we called in reinforcements. Rocket and Nebula, Rhodey and then in two teams we were gonna gather Clint, Rauri and Thor.  Rocket and Bruce agreed to go out to Norway where the rest of the Asgardians settled after arriving here from the Thanos attack they endured in order to get the Space stone.

Meanwhile Nat and I were coordinating where Rauri and Clint were planning to strike next so that we’d be able to find them and hopefully stop them before they continued on their massacre spree.

“Okay so what we know so far is that they’ve seen to attack every major country that still has a high level of violence.” Natasha said.

“Right and according to Rhodey the two of them hit Mexico together. I’m not sure about Rauri’s killings but he said Barton so far has hit Hong Kong, Mexico, Brazil and Guatemala. So all that’s left is North Korea, northern Russia and Japan.”

“Wait, hang on a second.” She then typed away and pulled up an article about one Akihiko Daito.  Runner of the Japanese yakuza.  Due to business going slow in the sex trafficking world, he’s now switched to drug and illegal weapon dealings.

“You think they’re gonna hit Japan?”

“Only one way to be positive. We gotta go now.” We then hopped in the quinjet and took off as fast as we can.

*3rd Person POV*

It was nightfall in Tokyo, Japan, rain was pouring down from the sky like a waterfall. The lights shined on the streets of Tokyo where Akihiko’s building was at.  However the calm streets were nothing but a rouse, for inside Akihiko’s business building gunfire blazed, and a litter of bodies were sprawled all over the ground.

“It’s them! They’re after Akihiko!” One of his men cried out as he fired his Sten rifle only to suddenly drop dead after some shuriken went right through his neck thrown by a cloaked stranger.  As more men tried to stop the men in the hooded cloak, they kept dropping like flies all because of him.

When one gave chase after him up some stairs, suddenly a huge mass of black fur leaped right at him snarling before ripping his neck apart, leaving only the sounds of choked gurgling to echo throughout the room.

Men crashing through glass, blood curling chokes, wolf snarls, and gunfire was the only music that came out of that building. Soon the yakuza leader Akihiko jumped out from the third floor window followed by the hooded figure.  

Both men landed on their feet standing just a few feet from each other.  Akihiko turned around towards the hooded figure and said.

“Why are you both doing this? We never did anything to you two!” As he spoke, he soon took out his katana ready to battle.

“You survived…..Half the planet didn’t. They got Thanos. You get us.” The hooded figure stated as he took out his own sword ready to battle the yakuza leader.

The two then attacked each other in quick, fast strokes, their swords clashing with each other’s.

“You’re done hurting people.”

“We hurt people?” Akihiko held his arms out in disbelief gesturing towards the bodies that littered the streets. “You’re crazy!” He then went for a side swipe but the hooded figure caught the blade with his, his own sword supporting the weight of the two sword with his arm before finally breaking apart.  

He jabbed a quick punch to Akihiko’s chest before holding his sword to his neck while the yakuza leader just stood there, not even defending himself.

He lowered his sword before grinning and slapped the cloaked figures sword away before going at him repeatedly with overhead slashes and corner slashes.  It worked on making the cloaked man move backwards, but only for a moment when he not only punched the yakuza in the face, but managed to cut into Akihiko’s side. Akihiko slowly turned towards the figure before placing his sword against his palm in the traditional Japanese way.

He cried out before going right at him but that was his downfall for the cloaked man also cried out and cut Akihiko’s throat. At this point he knew he had been beaten.  He collapsed to his knees holding his hand to his throat hoping to stop the bleeding, gagging on his own blood.

“Wait! Help me! I’ll give you both anything! What do you both want?” At this point coming out of the darkness and soon being illuminated by the neon lights of Tokyo, the giant black wolf holding a human hand in its mouth dropped it before slowly approaching Akihiko.

His fangs dripping red and his eyes so black they weren’t even there.  He got right up into Akihiko’s face snarling and opening his mouth threateningly at him, like he was about to rip his face apart.

“What we want, you can’t give us!” the hooded figure spoke in English before finally delivering the final stab, killing Akihiko. Ending the last of the Japanese Yakuza.

As he wiped the blood from his sword, the hooded figure looked to the wolf and nodded.  The black wolf went down to pick up Akihiko’s body to devour it, but before he grabbed it, he suddenly turned around and snarled, seeing that someone was now standing behind them.

The figure took down his hood and removed the all black mask to reveal Clint Barton.  But his appearance was different.  Each side of his head was shaved off, leaving just the tuff at the center, giving him that mohawk kind of look.

“You shouldn’t be here.” He said without turning around, because he knew just who it was.  Or at least one of them.  For standing under two umbrellas were Natasha and Morowa.

“Neither should you.” Said Nat.

“Both of you.” Added Morowa staring mostly at Rauri. Clint turned towards Nat, his eyes were cold and soulless with dark bags of deprived sleep.

“I’ve got a job to do. And this wolf offered his help.”

“Is that what you’re calling this? Killing all these people isn’t going to bring your families back.” Natasha tried to reason. Clint remained silent while Rauri continued to lowly snarl at the two women before him.  “We found something. A chance, maybe.” Natasha said as she slowly walked towards them.

Then on a dime as Clint looked up at Nat his eyes went from cold to utter despair.

“Don’t.” he bluntly said.

“Don’t what?” asked Nat.

“Don’t give me hope.” Trying to hold back her tears, she told her dear friend and brother.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t give it to you sooner.” Clint looked down helplessly while Nat reached out and took his hand, this time Clint didn’t refuse as he clenched her hand back.  Morowa soon tried to walk towards Rauri who had ceased his snarling and took off running down the alley.

“Rauri.” She didn’t have to run far because he had only turned the corner and hid himself behind an abandoned truck.  “I know you’re in there, so listen; I know—I know things hadn’t been easy since…..you know. But what Natasha said is true. There may be a chance to bring back everyone. Your friends, your family, your wife.”  

She slowly approached the giant black wolf that towered over her by at least 4 inches past her head.

‘It can’t be undone.’ His collar spoke out.  For the first time in years actually.

“It might.”

‘No.’ he looked to his mother in law with sad eyes, his ears bent backwards in shame as he finally spoke out. ‘That’s not what I meant.’

“Then what did you mean?”

‘Once a bad wolf goes bad, it cannot be undone. How—how can you forgive the beast I’ve become?’  Morowa looked at her son in law with empathy in her eyes.

“I’ve already lost two daughters to last a lifetime Rauri. Don’t make me have to go through the pain of having to lose a son too.” She slowly raised her hand up and gently touched him right between his eyes before slowly stroking upwards.  As she did that, his wolf fur slowly shrunk.

His paws and wolf legs turned into human limbs and finally for the first time in over 2 years, Rauri was human again but his appearance had changed too.  

Instead of the wild, shoulder length hair, it was now cut like a normal men’s style haircut, kinda sleeked back like a 1940’s hairstyle, he was also clean shaven with no trace of a beard whatsoever, and his eyes much like Clint’s held despair, heartbreak, and sorrow.

Morowa slowly wrapped her arms around her son and held him tight and he embraced her back.  Burying his face into her shoulder, clinging onto her like a small child as he allowed tears to fall down his face.

[layce2015]

Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (Newt Scamander x Reader)

Chapter 2: Dumbledore

"Is he still following us?" I whispered to Newt as we walk down the busy street of London. Newt looks over his shoulder then whispered. "Yes." And I let out a sigh. Ever since we left the Ministry, we've been followed by an Auror for about an hour. And we have been trying to lose him but he keeps following us.

Newt looks over then grabs my hand and leads me around the corner to a dark alleyway. Then he looks around the corner and points his wand at the Auror. "Ventus." He mutters and the Auror is immediately caught in a hurricane for one. To the confusion and amusement of passing Muggles, his hat flies away and is almost knocked off his feet. He couldn't proceed. 

I smile slightly and chuckle as Newt withdraws his head and leans against the wall of the dark alleyway. He looks down at me and smiles, then cups my face in his hands. I smile up at him as he leans in and kissed me. I kiss him back, feeling my heart beating rapidly, when suddenly I felt a tap on my shoulder. I pull back, reluctantly, from the kiss and turn around to find a single black glove hanging in the air in front of me.

Newt and I look at it, expressionless, as it gives a little wave then points into the far distance. We look to where it is pointing. High on the dome of St. Paul’s Cathedral, a tiny human figure raises its arm. 

We look back at the glove, which makes as though to shake hands. I look up at Newt, who had a little frown on his face, then he crooks his arm to me. I take his arm while he reaches out toward the glove with his other hand and takes it, making us Disapparate.

We Apparate to the top of the Cathedral and walk around the statue and see the figure standing by himself with his back to us. "Dumbledore." I said and the familiar face of our former teacher turns to face us with a smile. "Were the less conspicuous rooftops full, then?" Newt asked him, amused. Dumbledore chuckles then said. "I do enjoy a view." Then he raised his wand and said. "Nebulus." Then a swirling fog descends over London. After a few moments the three of us Disapparate.

We Apparate and walk on past the great stone Landseer lions. The sky above darkens and becomes increasingly ominous, a flock of pigeons rises into the air at our approach. "How was it?" Dumbledore asked us, referring to our hearing. "They’re still convinced that you sent us to New York." I replied to him.

"You told them I didn’t?" Dumbledore asked.

"Yes. Even though you did." Newt mutters. 

There was a few moments of silence and I decided to speak something that has been on my mind for a long time. "You told us where to find that trafficked Thunderbird, Dumbledore. You knew that we would take him home and you knew we’d have to take him through a Muggle port." I said.

"Well, I’ve always felt an affinity with the great magical birds. There’s a story in my family that a phoenix will come to any Dumbledore who is in desperate need. They say my great-great-grandfather had one, but that it took flight when he died, never to return." Dumbledore said as we continue walking.

"With all due respect, I don’t believe for a minute that’s why you told us about the Thunderbird." Newt said, slightly annoyed, when suddenly there was a noise behind us. A silhouette of a man appears out of the shadows and we quickly Disapparate.

We Apparate into a bus station and ready our wands just as we heard some footsteps. But the footsteps die away and we put our wands away. "Credence is in Paris. He’s trying to trace his real family. I take it both of you have heard the rumors about who he really is?" Dumbledore asked as we board a stationary bus. "No." Newt and I said in unison as we sit down on one side of the bus while Dumbledore sits across us.

"The purebloods think he’s the last of an important French line, a baby whom everyone thought lost . . ." Dumbledore said, when he trails off and looks right at us, then realization hits me. "Not Leta’s brother?" I said, astonished, and Dumbledore nods, slightly.

"That’s what they’re whispering. Pureblood or not, I know this: An Obscurus grows in the absence of love as a dark twin, an only friend. If Credence has a real brother or sister out there who can take its place, he might yet be saved." He said then takes a breath before he continues. "Wherever Credence is in Paris, he’s either in danger or a danger to others. We may not know who he is yet, but he needs to be found. And I rather hoped you two might be the ones to find him." 

Then he conjures up a card from thin air and holds it out towards us. "What's that?" Newt asked with suspicion as he takes the card and I see an odd symbol illuminating on the side of the card. "It’s an address of a very old acquaintance of mine. A safe house in Paris, reinforced with enchantments." Dumbledore replied. "Safe house?" I said, confused. "Why would we need a safe house in Paris?"

"One hopes you won’t, but should things at some point go terribly wrong, it’s good to have a place to go. You know, for a cup of tea." Dumbledore said and we realize what he was doing. "No, no, no— absolutely not." Newt said just as we heard someone board the bus and starts it up. Dumbledore is the first one out of the bus and we chase after him as we Disapparate.

We Apparate to Lambeth Bridge and see Dumbledore walking along. "We're banned from international travel, Dumbledore. If we leave the country, they will put us in Azkaban and throw away the key." Newt said, quickly, and Dumbledore stops in his tracks. "And I have a father who is very sick..." I said as Dumbledore turns to face us.

"Do you know why I admire you two? More, perhaps, than any person I know?" Dumbledore asked us, catching us by surprise. "Both of you don’t seek power or popularity. You two simply ask, is the thing right in itself? If it is, then I must do it, no matter the cost." He said with a smile and I could've sworn I saw a twinkle in his eyes.

"That’s all very well, Dumbledore, but, forgive me for asking, why can’t you go?" I asked, knowing full well that he could easily do this. Everyone always says Dumbledore is a powerful wizard, and I believe that....I'm just confused as to why us?

"I can’t move against Grindelwald. It has to be you two." Dumbledore replied and Newt and I just give him a confused look. "Well, I don’t blame you, in your shoes I’d probably refuse too." He said as he takes the card out of Newt's hand. "It’s late." He said as we are taken aback by this. "W-Wait.." I started to say when Dumbledore gives a two finger salute and said. "Good evening." And he Disapparates.

"Oh, come on!" Newt said just as I shake my head. Then Dumbledore's empty glove reappears and tucks the business card, bearing the address of the safe house, into Newt's top jacket pocket. Then it waves and disappears. "Dumbledore." Both of us said, exasperated.

****

Afterwhile, we began to walk along the bridge and I wrap my right arm around Newt's left arm and held on as he looks down and smiles at me. "How's your father doing, by the way?" Newt asked me. "They said he's doing better. He might end up with some scars and a green tinge to his skin." I replied. "Well...Dragon Pox is a nasty business." Newt remarked and I chuckled.

"They said he's lucky to be alive, especially the age he is now." I said. I look up at Newt and asked. "How's our creatures doing?" Newt smiles and said. "They're doing fine. But I can tell that they miss you."

"And I miss them." I said then I stopped in my tracks as I start to think things over. "(Y/N)?" Newt asked as he looks at me with worry. I look down then back up at him and said. "I...I'm ready to come back." Newt's eyes widen at this as he asked me. "Are you sure? What about your father?"

"Like I said, he's getting better and Uncle Edmund is there...." I said and Newt gives a small smile. "Is Isabella there?" He asked and I nod. "No wonder you're ready to come back. I bet being around her, for the last four months, have been driving you mad." He said and I chuckled. "Yes, but...I do miss the creatures...." I said and Newt gives a slight nod. I smile up at him and said. "...and I missed you, most of all." 

Newt smiles as he walks closer to me and said. "And I missed you, too. So much." I smiled up at him and I lean up and kiss him. He places his hands on my waist and I place my hands on his shoulders as we continue with this kiss.

****

Later, we Apparate to my father's house and I open the front door. "Uncle Edmund?" I called out and I hear footsteps approaching. Uncle Edmund appeared around the corner and smiled. "(Y/N)! How'd it go?" He asked as he walks up to me. "It's...it was fine." I said as he hugs me. "Newt, m'boy!" Uncle Edmund exclaimed, happily, as he walks over to him. "Hello, Edmund." Newt greets as Uncle Edmund shakes his hand. 

"Congratulations on your book, by the way!" Uncle Edmund said. "Thank you, sir." Newt said, politely. "So...what brings you here, m'boy?" Uncle Edmund asked. I look over at Uncle Edmund and said. "Well...I thought about what you said Uncle Edmund and....I decided you were right. I need to get on with my life."

Uncle Edmund stares at me and smiles. "So I'm gonna go and pack. Just send me a letter if he becomes worse." I said. "Of course, dear." He said and I smile and run up the stairs to my room. I grabbed my case and packed alot of clothes and make my way back down the stairs where I see Unlce Edmund talking to Isabella, who looked very upset. 

"But there's a dinner party she needs to attend!" Isabella exclaims as Newt looks around at everything but at Isabella. "There are more important things than dinner parties." I remarked. She gasped then scoffed as I stepped down on the last step of the stairs. Then I look over at Newt and nod at him.

He smiles and both of us walk out of the house. "Goodbye!" I called out. "Goodbye and be very careful!" Uncle Edmund calls out as Newt and I walk down the street and Disapparate.

[californiadreaminghq]

Oh good, you made it!

Did you guys know Jolie was coming? She brought Marina Lee, The Desperado! And just on time! Grab a drink, find a spot, and make sure you finish everything on the checklist. The band is just getting started – you have 24 hours to send in your account! We’re so glad you’re here!

                                I. OUT OF THE STUDIO

NAME/ALIAS: jolie / jo / whatever the hell you want to call me  (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ・: *

AGE: 21

PRONOUNS: she/her

                                                 II. ON STAGE

DESIRED SKELETON: The Desperado

NAME: Marina Lee

NICKNAMES: Rin, Rina, Rini, + Mari (If you address her by any of her nicknames, you better damn well be a friend)

FACE CLAIM: Zoe Kravitz / Indya Moore / Zoe Saldana

AGE: 25-29 (I left this open for y’all to decide!)

OCCUPATION: Being the motherfucking Disco Queen

                                               III. INTERVIEW

Answer the following questions in your character’s voice:

If you could do anything in the world for a living, what would it be?

“Oh, honey. Did you write these questions? They’re quite terrible but keep on truckin’, baby. But, wholeheartedly? This. I’d be doing this. Wouldn’t change it for the world. I love what I goddamn do. I love my fans, my team ━ the support from everyone has been out of this fucking world. I get to have a career in music ━ how many people can truly say that? It may not always be glitz and glam ━ a lot of smoke and mirrors but it’s real. Raw. Indescribable. I’m lucky to be where I am.”

If you could travel anywhere, where would you go?

“I’ve been everywhere, baby. Italy, England, Poland, Greece, France. But the place that’s always stuck with me? Tokyo, Japan. Life-changing. Talk about a culture shock. I’m from a small town in Kentucky. You think we get to see this shit every day?”  

What is one thing that makes you different than anyone else?

“My talent. Excuse my forwardness but no one is doing what I’m doing for this industry. I’m single handedly shaping disco. Now, you can roll your eyes at me. Think I’m some egotistical tramp. But it’s true ━ the tabloids know it. My fans know it. Shit, even Billy Pepper knows it. It’s why he signed me ━ I had more than enough potential. Don’t like how I hold myself in high regards? Then don’t listen to my music, baby.”  

                                               IV. BACKSTAGE

You grew up in a middle-class, over-the-top Catholic household in Bumblefuck, Kentucky, where venom-induced syllables and harsh blows to the side of your skull was considered “positive reinforcement”. Tears often stained the flesh of your cheeks. You were never good enough. Never smart enough. Never… pretty enough. Everything you did was seemingly fucking wrong. How could you have expected anything different? You weren’t the daughter your parents had prayed for. You tried, but you never succeeded. You were too much of your own person, for fucks sake. Too loud. Too gritty. Spoke what was on your mind. Stood for what you believed in. Hell, it was unacceptable ━ especially in a town as modest as your own. So, every time your father’s hand came into contact with your cheek, a little piece of you died. Sadness turned into anger. Anger turned into defiance. Defiance turned into… inspiration. Your skirts got a little shorter. Your mouth got a little more… valiant. You reeked of bourbon, one-night stands, and feel-good music. Bruises may have lined your flesh and your father may have hoped that God would save you, but for the first time in a long time, you felt liberated. Happy.

(Note: A few years later) You started out in basements. It wasn’t much but you simply didn’t mind. As long as you were able to sing, you didn’t care where you were performing ━ How fucking liberating was that? But as the audiences grew larger and more interested in what you had to offer, you realized how goddamn talented you truly were and something inside of you altered. All of these people? Cheering for you? Praising your entire being and the sound of your voice? Fucking life-changing. Fuck your part-time waitressing job at some shitty, run-down diner. You wanted something more out of this life. Craved it. No, needed it. So, when a Fusetone representative mysteriously ended up at one of your gigs, in the middle of absolutely nowhere, you could feel yourself losing touch with reality. “You know,” they had said, “I’ve had my eye on you, Marina ━ Billy’s impressed.” Billy fucking Pepper? Impressed with you? Yeah, your body went numb. There was no way you were being signed by Fusetone ━ one of the biggest goddamn labels known to man.

But oh, you were so wrong, Rin. Because when they had flown you out to LA for a few recording sessions, they practically had dollar signs in their eyes. Billy Pepper knew what you were capable of. What you would be able to do for his label. For the music industry and everything in between. So you moved out to LA in a haste manner, barely crossing your t’s and dotting your i’s. You signed a deal without reading in between the lines and yes, it may have not been your brightest moment. But it was fucking uncanny how quickly you rose to stardom. The tabloids couldn’t get enough of you ━ Who is the Disco Queen sleeping with now? Sources say [The Gold Dust], Billy Pepper’s son/daughter! Marina Lee on drugs? Turn to page 21 to find out! Paparazzi had no goddamn boundaries ━ trailed you at home. Restaurants. Clubs. For a while, you felt like you couldn’t… breathe. Fame was beginning to eat away at you in the worst fucking way possible and the more you grew, the deeper your anxieties buried themselves within your bones. Maybe you shouldn’t have jumped into this so fast ━ so bare, so open. You were just a small town girl, afterall. Nothing could have prepared you for this and hell, you’re starting to realize that nothing will ever be enough for you. You’re on the verge of being a fucking disco legend but with the crowds you’re hanging out with and the drugs you’re consuming at 3 A.M. at some hole-in-the-wall club, you’re beginning to “burn the candle at both ends, all while trying to keep up with your dreams”.

                                                   V. ENCORE

BASICS

DOB: May 20th

GENDER: Cis-female

LANGUAGES SPOKEN: English + broken French

FAMILY TIES: Venus Wilson (mother: deceased), Colin Wilson (father), + Charli Wilson (younger sister) - Marina doesn’t resonate with her surname. Lee is her middle name. So ever since she moved out of her parents house at the age of 23, she’s gone by Marina Lee.  

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION

HEIGHT: 5’2”

WEIGHT: 120

HAIR: Long Box Braids

EYES: Dark Brown

TATTOOS: 5 In Total (arms, back of neck, + ribcage)

PIERCINGS: Ears + Nipples

SCARS: On Her Right Knee + Left Elbow

PERSONALITY / ATTRIBUTES  

LIKES: Southern drawls, disco, performing in front of a large audience, smoking / drinking / drugs, one-night stands, Indigo Dusk, rock and roll, sunrises, staying out until 6 A.M., kissing strangers  

DISLIKES: Raw emotions, sleep, slow days, daft people, mindless conversations, Catholic freaks/religion figures, her father, paparazzi, tabloids

STRENGTHS: Fighter, organized, monarchical, refuses to put out trash music, very dedicated to her team + fans, poised in interviews (well, tries to), + cutting people off (if you gots to go, then you gots to go!)

WEAKNESSES: Stubborn, too short and thin (like grow up, bitch?), being honest, closed off, extremely unattainable, sometimes condescending, has diva tendencies, hard to work with  

FEARS: Ruining her career, falling in love, relying on drugs to feel something, becoming too overwhelmed with fame, anxiety attacks, her father, people not liking her music anymore, + not going down in history as a legend

RELIGION: Atheist

SEXUAL PREFERENCE: Bi Kween

[believingbrook]

the blind forest, 2

He wanders the Starblaster alone. After so long isolated he should rejoice in the company. Should go find his sister, or Barry, tell them what they missed and hear how they spent their ten long years. Tell them how much he missed them, and how acutely it tore him open that they were gone, that he didn’t know their names. That when he’d met Barry, face-to-face, he’d felt absolutely nothing.

The Starblaster isn’t a large ship. They were only supposed to be gone two months, after all. But Taako knows how to keep himself unseen, and his meandering feet keep him well away from his other crewmates. He doesn’t know where they are, exactly, but when he hears Davenport’s voice echoing down the long halls he turns and walks the other direction.

There’s a room on the Starblaster. A giant, transparent bubble. Standing in it, one can see all around; the stars carpet every wall, the planets a gleam of color beneath one’s feet. The IPRE Mission Board had presented it as a luxury.

It kept them sane.

Taako finds himself in this room, and looking at the stars should hurt, because they’re all different, they’re unfamiliar and unfriendly and unkind, but he looks out into the vastness of space and feels about as uncaring as it is.

His footfalls clink quietly against reinforced plastic as he mounts the stairs, tracing a spiral along the outer rim of the sphere. Here the path widens into a bench large enough for three. He and Lucretia used to come out here, decades ago. He would nap and she would write and the silence felt harmonious.

The silence now is oppressive and cool and Taako likes the weight of it on his shoulders, so he sits.

Ever around him turn thousands of stars.

He loses track of how much time passes. He sits, still as stone, and waits. For what, he doesn’t know.

The doors hiss open and shut, and another pair of footsteps track closer to him. As Lup approaches, Taako doesn’t look up. She slips beside him and looks out.

“How are you feeling, babe?”

Taako traces a spiral in the stars, then a feather, then a magnifying glass before blinking the mirages away. One of the only good things about these new planes is that every constellation is undiscovered. In the stars, they make their own maps.

“Fine.”

“Babe...”

“I mean it, Lup. I’m fine.”

He’s not even lying. He feels fine. He feels perfectly fine, in fact - flat and hollowed out.

“C’mon, Koko. You’ve gotta be feeling something - ”

“That’s rich,” he snorts. “Telling me how I should feel after you left.”

Lup freezes, and the flash of anger recedes as quickly as it came. Because he knows he should, Taako apologizes. He hears the words come out of his mouth, distantly. May as well be the stars speaking.

She accepts it, because she’s Lup, and she loves him.

Another while passes, both of them looking outward. Not forward, but out. Lup rests her hand over his and he pulls away, the touch of her skin searing like fire.

“I’m glad your body’s back,” he says.

“Thank you.”

They sit in silence until Lup leaves.

When Barry comes knocking on the door, Taako decides to take his leave. He Blinks out easily, slipping between planes just as Barry pushes the door open, and Blinks back into his room.

It’s just as he left it. No — it’s just how the IPRE Mission Board designed it. Two beds, both bunked, one walk-in closet and a white carpet beneath the only chair in the room. Sparse and spartan. Normally by this time Taako would have transmuted half the ship into more comfortable accomodations — after two decades of bickering they’d decided they liked Taako’s specialty downy couch painted bright purple, mostly because Taako overruled Barry when he argued for something less dramatic — but there’s a problem: the Starblaster doesn’t feel like home any more.

Besides, redecorating would take an energy Taako doesn’t have. He doesn’t transmute their wall-length mirror, he doesn’t pluck another five blankets from the white walls, he doesn’t turn their flickering, standard-issue light into a chandelier, just for kicks. He sits on his shitty bed with its shitty springs, not yet coated in rust, blanketed in sterile darkness, and closes his eyes.

Sleep doesn’t come, of course, because luck never favored Taako, but at least this way Taako can pretend — or at least ignore the fact that this is no longer the moonbase, there’s no child detective curled up on the armchair in the living room, no Reaper holding Taako to his chest.

The air in the room is chill and stale and smells faintly of chlorine, like a hospital with perfectly-cleaned white sheets.

Taako breathes, and breathes, and imagines his lungs filling with whatever varnish the IPRE used to coat their walls. He hasn’t spent so much time in this room in its untouched state since the very first cycle.

There’s a faint ringing in his ears, one with which he’s very familiar. It’s the sound of absolute silence, of the tiny movements in his ears and the maddening noise that silence makes. He snaps his fingers and that gets rid of it, for a while, but before long the quiet presses back in.

The door clicks open.

“Hey, kid,” says Merle.

“Old man,” Taako says, sitting up, which is weird, because he hadn’t meant to do that. “I didn’t let you in.”

Merle smiles, shrugs. His movements, too, are muted. “Let myself in. You gave me standing permission, remember?”

“That was a long time ago.”

“Yeah. Sixty-somethin’ years, wasn’t it.”

Merle shuffles onto the bed proper, and Taako makes room for him. Merle winces. “Shitty-ass springs,” he grumbles. “Pokin’ my back.”

“Not my fault you’re delicate.”

Merle flips him off, and Taako catches himself moments before returning the gesture. “See you haven’t transmuted this baby into somethin’ more comfortable.”

Taako shrugs. “Didn’t feel like it.”

Merle hums at that, and they sit together in the quiet. Somehow, the ringing stops, and instead of nothing Taako can hear Merle breathing.

“Barry’s helpin’ Lucretia,” Merle says after a while. “Lup’s talkin’ to Davenport. I tried helpin’ Magnus out but he told me to leave ‘im alone, after a while. Said he didn’t want to talk about it any more.”

“That tracks.”

“He’s gonna need us tonight,” Merle says, squinting at Taako. He has both eyes. Can see clearly in the darkness in the room, now. Guess sometimes Wonderland does give back but only, Taako thinks, when they’ve found a fouler hell.

Taako looks at him for the first time, looks at him like he didn’t look at Lup, straight-on and honest. He arches an eyebrow, and something in Merle uncoils. “You came all the way in here to ask me to transmute a three-person bed.”

“Eh, I figured it’d be worth the walk,” Merle says, and slaps his thighs. “‘Sides, these old bones creak somethin’ awful on those regulation mattresses, and it’s been so damn long since I tried to sleep on ‘em.”

Taako snorts, picks Merle up with Levitate and deposits him unceremoniously on the ground. “Don’t move. Wouldn’t want you to get mixed up in this transmutation,” he says, to which Merle grumbles “fuck you,” to which Taako finally flips him off.

It’s quick; he softens the mattress, replaces the springs with a bit of robo-tech they scavenged from the planet of robots, smooths it lengthwise and, after a moment, heightwise as well. He’s tall but Magnus is taller.

He doesn’t dye it pink and he doesn’t sew his initials into the pillowcase, but when he plucks Merle off the ground and plops them both on the mattress it’s a much softer seat.

“There we go,” Merle says, pleased. “Thanks, kiddo.”

Taako’s tongue trips over don’t mention it.

Merle still snores like a pack of walruses and Taako still stifles the urge to ram cotton up his nose, so some things don’t change.

Taako’s halfway to deep meditation when the door creaks open. Lup never tried to come in; with Barry, no doubt. Which leaves —

“Taako?” rasps Magnus. “Are you in here?”

Without opening his eyes, Taako releases three balls of light from his fingertips, bathing the room in a soft glow. As a matter of principle he refuses to hit the lightswitch. He’ll have no such impersonal and boring lighting touching his skin, thank you very much.

“Evenin’, kiddo,” Merle grunts, shifting over on the bed.

“Oh, shit — sorry, Merle.”

“Don’t even think about it,” Merle yawns. There’s a sharp jolt along his shins as Merle drags Magnus onto the bed proper, and with an irritated sigh, Taako opens his eyes.

“I didn’t know you both were, uh...in here.”

“Merle installed himself in my room, you mean.”

“You let me in!”

“You would’ve kicked the door down if I hadn’t.”

“No I wouldn’t have!”

“Well, I wasn’t about to wait around and find out,” Taako bites, dragging himself fully out of meditation, and looks at Magnus.

To put it politely, he looks like shit.

“Nightmares?”

“Yeah. I — I tried sleeping in my own room, like — like we used to, but, uh...” he breaks off, laughs sheepishly, or it would be sheepish if he didn’t sound three seconds from crying. “It didn’t work.”

“Welcome to the club,” Merle grumbles. “I couldn’t sleep either, what with pointy-hat goin’ all creepy and Zen on me.”

“It’s called meditation, old man.”

“Still weird as shit.”

Magnus chuckles, a choked-off and watery sound. “Taako, do you mind if I — could I stay in here for a bit?”

Taako studies him, and thinks about it; demanding a toll, maybe a carved duck, because it really has been a long time since Magnus has carved him a duck and he’s starting to miss the shitty braids he’d make from the grain.

Instead, he says “Of course.”

Magnus smiles. “Thanks, Taako.”

“Don’t mention it,” Taako says, then “really. Don’t.”

It’s an old line and it wrangles a grin out of Merle, too.

Silence falls again, harmonious this time. Merle lays back down and Magnus follows suit and for a while, the only sound in Taako’s room is that of breathing. With a flick of his fingers Taako snatches the blankets off Lup’s bed and spreads it over the three of them, graciously ignoring Magnus’s muttered thanks.

“It was Julia,” Magnus whispers, voice breaking.

“Dreamed of her?”

“No. I mean yes, I did, but I realized — even if — ”

Magnus breaks off, hand clenching around his own mouth, shadows painted along his temples and beneath the jut of his nose as he curls in on himself, fighting for breath. “I was thinking, you know, I always — death is so common here, on the Starblaster, but if — if I die I won’t — ”

He shudders, the beginnings of sobs hitching on his lips, and Merle reaches over to rub soothing circles on his shoulder. “Sorry,” Magnus whispers, “sorry.”

Taako tweaks his ear. “Don’t apologize.”

“Right,” Magnus says and breathes deep, counting one then two to five, a breathing exercise Taako taught him for meditation, many decades ago. “I realized that even if I die, I won’t s-see Julia again.”

Oh.

“Oh man,” Merle says.

“Yeah,” Magnus says. “I mean, I wasn’t planning on dying — not here, at least, not on the Starblaster — but that was always kinda, I dunno, a thing, y’know? That death wouldn’t be so bad if she was waiting for me.”

In this moment, Taako does not think about several things. He does not think about an aproned drow woman, he does not think about a curly-haired boy detective, and he absolutely does not think about Death.

He realizes, eventually, that Merle is speaking. “ — either. It sucks, I know. But we just gotta have faith that things will turn out okay.”

“But how?” Magnus’s hand clenches around Merle’s arm, even blind as he is in the darkness. “How can you believe that, Merle? They’re gone, they’re in the Hunger, how do we get them back?”

“I just do,” Merle says. “I have faith that one day, we’ll see them again. And they’re not gone, not really. We don’t know where they are, but they’re not gone. We’ve seen souls. Even after we die, our souls keep on going. Somewhere, they’re still out there.”

“But the Hunger,” Magnus argues, voice shaking, “the Hunger is nothing. It’s just — it eats. It feeds. What if it’s eaten their souls?”

“I don’t have a good answer for you, kid.” Merle turns and wraps a hand around the back of Magnus’s head and, with an instinct borne of decades, Magnus presses his forehead to Merle’s. “But I believe that somewhere, there’s an answer for us. I gotta.”

After a beat, Magnus rolls back onto his back, eyes staring sightless at the underside of the mattress above them. “What about you, Taako?”

“What about me, kemosabe?”

“What do you believe?”

Taako pauses. He knows several things. His plane is gone, and the people in it lost to him forever. They’ve never been able to bring someone back. He knows Magnus is grieving, even worse than before, and before left him reckless and careless with his own life.

“Way I see it,” he says eventually, “the seven of us? Best in the damn galaxy. If anyone can work it out, ‘s us.”

The words taste bitter, but over his head Merle looks grateful. Too late, Taako realizes that he’d never met Merle’s kids.

“Okay,” Magnus says eventually. “Then — okay. We’ll figure something out.”

“Sure will, kiddo.”

After Magnus falls asleep Taako snuffs out the lights. Despite the darkness the red rimming his eyes, the breath of bruises beneath them are clearly visible. He looks exhausted as he curls around them, head tucked against Taako’s shoulder and arm thrown over Merle, protective even in sleep.

Merle takes a deep breath and Taako looks at him, but he shakes his head. “Night, Taako.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Taako doesn’t sleep. Instead, when Magnus’s face twists in grief, Taako smooths down his hair, murmurs nothings until rest finds him again.

[osmw1]

Dimension Wave   Chapter 26 — An Unfavorable Situation

‘Now trickling in are our reinforcements. This is the moment of truth!’

We had been slowly withdrawing and we ended up at D4. The chokepoint here is a great location to defend, but the battle is far from easy. There were different kinds of enemies now too.

Dimensional Skeleton Dimensional Vanguard Dimensional Archer

Our mages and archers now had to switch their focus on different enemies. The Vanguards wield spears, outputting more damage while giving up less opportunities to be attacked. The Archers were able to hit our ranged attackers too. The situation continued to be dire. Still, we weren’t completely overwhelmed, and backup was slowly popping up. We were able to hold the line thanks to that.

“If you’ve finished recovering your MP, then keep firing those skills. Keep an eye on your status, especially archers and mages!”

A party leader called out loud. Their party were always on the defense, much like us. Archers and mages were critical to holding the line because of their wide area attacks. I bet they found Yamikage real awkward, but it is what it is. Her Drain is simply too useful to tell her not to use it.

But that’s all she does!

In any case, it’s a matter of time before our defensive line falls. A few of people on our side had already fallen victim to the enemies and they were forced to teleport back. D4 might just be the last standing defense. If we lose our position here, there’ll be no guarantee of being able to turn this around.

“Kizuna. Let us make plans before they land a decisive blow on us.” “I was just thinking of the same thing, though I’m not sure what exactly we should do.” “Then why don’t I push the enemy vanguard back?” “That’s too risky.” “It really isn’t. I should be able to pull it off since I can spam my skills.”

She has a point. The rest of our forces are low on MP. The reason why Yamikage can keep using Circle Drain is purely because she’s a Spirit. Most of our magic casters have fallen back to recover. Of course, they only burnt up all their MP so that we could recover some Energy ourselves. I looked over at Shouko and saw just how determined she was.

… I don’t think any of them would be as willing to volunteer to put their lives on the line.

“We might potentially lose all our Energy, y’know?” “I have prepared myself for whatever potential consequences.” “Alright, then I’m coming with you.” “You are?” “Remember what I said about straying from my path?” “Yes?” “Well, let me add to that. I’ll be correcting you too if you ever make a bad decision.”

Shouko looked exasperated. She probably didn’t expect to get that sort of reply, so she must be having mixed feelings.

“You’d be nuts to charge into the horde alone.” “… perhaps. Then, let us attack the enemy together.”

With a smile on her face, she stepped forward together with me.

“We’re a pair of Spirits here. We’ll make full use of our racial traits to charge in and scatter the enemy vanguard.” “What?! You two have a death wish!” “That or just pretend like we’re a pair of really tough tanks!”

I dismissed the worried voice over chat and ran in with my Cetus Longsword. A lot of them must have looked down on us Spirits. Sure, we might normally seem weak, but this was where we shine. This was what I can do right now, and I was going to do it.

“Shouko, you’ll have to charge up your fan, right? I’ll buy you some time. We’ll probably do okay by chaining up our attacks. You should use something with a huge area of effect.” “Okay. Be prepared to see what damage I can do!” “Alright! Speed Gutting!”

Seeing how many of them are over there, we probably won’t get away with just a scratch. The archers were already firing upon us. But we’re Spirits. We’re number one in HP and skill spamming.

“I shall engage the enemies. Wild Dance, the Third: Cherry Blossoms! Recharge!”

She had already been charging up her fan as we headed towards the enemies. In an instant, her skill takes down 10 enemies at once as their comrades crawled over the corpses.

“Cleaver! Cleaver! Cleaver!”

A red graphical effect unleashed as I successively cleaved through the enemies. Given how cleavers are meant to chop through bone, the skill was very effective against Dimensional Skeletons. Be that as it may, I still need more than one Cleaver to slay a skeleton.

“Cleaver! Cleaver! Cleaver! Cleaver!”

The momentum from each activation of the skill spun me faster and faster, eliminating any defenseless moments that I had.

“Wild Dance, the Second: Bloom!”

Shouko was in favor of quantity over fully charging her skills. Because of that, the enemies didn’t die with a single strike. I followed up on the damaged monsters to slay them. If one hit’s not enough, then I’ll just hit them again.

“Miss Kizuna! Circle Drain!”

Yamikage hurried towards us in support. A circle appears beneath the enemy troops. Circle Drain kills a good number of enemies that had been already weakened by our archers and mages. Behind the freshly killed were yet another cluster of enemies. They’re seemingly never ending.

“… Toggling.”

Right after I used Cleaver again, Sheryl takes attacked an enemy that was targeting me. Her skill struck and killed three enemies at once who had been damaged by Drain.

“Yamikage, Sheryl…” “You guys!” “… didn’t wanna be the odd one out.”

Sheryl was expressionless as ever, but the marine blue gemstone on her chest was shining brightly. What are you, some kind of rival from a shounen manga? You totally set a death flag there. But perhaps with us four…

“If things do go south, make sure you run! Cleaver!” “… I know. Full Harpoon.”

The four us stood alone in a sea of swords, arrows, and magic in action. I bet some of them are wondering what the heck we’re doing. But because we’re all together, I was having lots of fun. We might have abandoned our plans because of Dimension Wave, but I’m sure we can sail across the oceans if it’s the four of us. I’m absolutely sure of it. Still, only utter fools would charge into a swarm like this if this were a game.

“Egads! We have no retreat!” “Damn! Did I just jinx ourselves?”

I looked around us to find that we were completely surrounded. We’ve slowed down the enemy advance but in turn lost all ways to retreat.

“‘tis as if it were us four against the world.” “Why did you guys even follow us anyway?” “I am thy shadow, Miss Kizuna.” “… oh, I almost forgot that’s the character you wrote for yourself.” “How rude of ye!”

Well, call me simple, but I’m pretty happy with her character. … I’m not about to stroke her ego though.

“Now then, y’all feelin’ lucky?”

I kept up my attacks while I spoke to them. Shouko’s got my back, so I can focus whatever’s ahead of me. It’s like this scene is straight out of a romanticized depiction of war. Endorphins must be pumping through my brain right about now.

“About what, Kizuna?” “Wanna make a bet on how many of us will survive?” “… not much of a bet.” “Verily.” “You don’t actually think we’ll all make it out alive, do ya?” “My bet’s on four.” “Aye, all of us.” “Oh, I understand now. In that case, my bet is on all of us as well.” “What, so it’s just me betting on zero… no, never mind. Let’s get through this together.”

The joke would’ve flew past their heads. Their glares would’ve killed me first though. Was that their pent-up frustration against me or something? Well, whatever. I’ll just stop being stupid. It would’ve been real awkward if I had made that joke anyway.

“I’m not about to these guys steal all our Energy, so let’s kick their asses!” “Let’s!” “Aye, aye!” “‘kay.”

It’ll suck to lose all of our Energy, but we’ll have fun in the process at least. It’s not like the only thing in the game is to be the strongest. Plus, we still have our skills and stuff that can be used as buffer. And just as I made up my mind to attack…

“Oh, woooow! Maybe I shoulda been a Spirit too!”

Someone called out to us. Someone with a very familiar voice.

“… Tsugumi?”

Blazing a trail through the enemies was my little sister. Tsugumi†Exceed was her name in game. Above her pitch-black armor was a circlet on her head and a pair of animal ears peeked out through it. And then, a great scythe. Of course she uses one. But I mean, that’s exactly—

“Sorry I’m late, big bro! Here comes my counter attack! Death Step!”

Four great crashes emanated from her direction. Then, tens of enemies were slaughtered in a moment.

That’s exactly… that’s exactly what it’s good for: wide area physical attacks.

… I guess it was a good idea I called their bet.

contents: /prologue/ /ch001/ /ch002/ /ch003/ /ch004/ /ch005/ /ch006/ /ch007/ /ch008/ /ch009/ /ch010/ /ch011/ /ch012/ /ch013/ /ch014/ /ch015/ /ch016/ /ch017/ /ch018/ /ch019/ /ch020/ /ch021/ /ch022/ /ch023/ /ch024/ /ch025/ /ch026/ /next/

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[p-r]

cede the political

Suggested listening: This Land is Your Land by Woody Guthrie

My freshman year of high school, I was best friends with a caustic girl named Sonya. While I could write many, many, many pages about Sonya, I will ignore most of that rage for now. But one thing that I drew from her was the quote, “The American Dream is dead; good riddance to it.”

Now you may have heard that quote before and it may mean something else to you, but for her and I it was our code for “fuck the state, it sucks so badly we cannot change it.”

It was a term of edgy apathy that we thought was wiser than anything Nietschze could ever hope to utter. It was our way of justifying our dismal view of the future and our refusal of hoping for a better tomorrow.

In my year of friendship with Sonya, I have never regressed so far in my mental health. Every day with her was a day where life got slowly worse. Utter darkness and destruction of oneself was the basis of our friendship and I wanted so badly to keep her as my friend, so I let myself slip into this dark symbiosis of hatred for myself and for the world.

Every day was bleak. Every day was a new day of suicide jokes and her sending me pictures of her self-harm and her urging me to do the same. She glorified destruction and pushed me to it.

Flash forward to my sophomore year in high school. The day is October 11th. A Tuesday. She says she cannot be friends anymore. She screams, yells, tells me to leave her alone, to never leave her, to die, to live.

That night I thought my world was ending. She had conditioned me to believe that there was only her and without her there was nothing. I was nothing.

There are a lot of components to her that I don’t want to focus on with this post, so just understand that I was a dismal wreck of a human for awhile after Sonya. I had friends that kept my head just barely above water (Sarah, Lincoln, Kyle, Valerie, Dylan). Every day they battled my demons. Each sun rose for me with no desire to get out of bed and every day they, like clockwork, helped me to stand and keep fighting. Because of them, I can truly say I know what it is like to have your life saved. I was a walking dead man and they breathed life back into me. Slowly but surely I found myself to be a Lazarus.

This past May Sonya and I both graduated. She now attends Georgetown, a private university. Her first choice after being rejected from the Ivys.

She along with others ridiculed my choice to attend public UC Berkeley after receiving better offers. I chose it for a myriad of reasons, personal and confusing. But I can say that I do not regret it at all.

Today, a massive gameday, I found myself reflecting on my choice. I attend a large public university with Greek Life (of which I am a part of, despite always assuming I never would be) with parties and antics. I also attend a university with protests and activism. I also attend a university with massive research output.

Here, more than any other place, I see this power of a whole person. This university known for its protests and its radical ideas is the home of the revolutionaries.

Kids find themselves here not because they are ivy league rejects (as I am not an ivy reject and I proudly sit here) or that they got a deal on tuition (I pay 70,000 to attend); they find themselves here because they believe in the American Dream. We are the boots on the ground. The first to raise a sign. To make a petition. To call our senators.

Less obviously, we are the first to include. The first to be more aware of social constructs and norms. We are the first to realize that we are not passive participants in the rapidly growing, by the second actually, story of history.

We are history. We hold the pen and we decide.

Sonya sits in her ivory tower, I sit in the fresh dirt pile of change.

America is far from perfect, but that won’t deter me from doing what I can. My feet pound the pavement when I walk on campus so hard they can hear me all the way in DC. I am not afraid of tomorrow because I know I will fight and I know that Berkeley will give me the tools I need to stand up and raise my fist in the air.

In high school, I did policy debate, a male-dominated event that is known to be the hardest debate event. My debate partner was also a female. Kids and judges belittled us because we were women. Sonya, who was originally going to be my policy partner said she couldn’t because she was too scared to lose. She refused to stand and fight for other women.

I was the only female presiding officer at the 2018 Senatorial Congressional Districts for debate. I commanded a room with a gavel as well as any man in the room. Sonya refused to do Senate because “the house rooms are easier, I’ll get more points even though I’m female.” She ran from her challengers and I faced them.

Debaters are commonly top earners in American Society, with many becoming massive political figures (Mike Pence did debate, so did Hillary Clinton).  So, I always found her proclaimed liberal views to be lackluster. She talked a great game, but when she had a chance to change the minds of the future Pences of the world or inspire younger women to become the next Clintons, she decided to hide. Give up. Reinforce norms.

I’ll admit, it was hard standing in rooms full of men looking at me with snickering glances. The boys on my team always assuming they were better despite Sarah and I’s superior record. But, I am so glad that I never gave up. Sure, debate is super small, but I believe in its impact. I believe my tiny contributions made a difference to someone. Now, I see young women that I mentored taking my place and fighting back against norms. I see them stand tall. I see men stand with them and call for change. I see hope in their eyes.

So what does this all come down to? Is the American Dream dead?

Absolutely not. The American Dream lies, for me, in the hearts of young women in debate and on the campus of UC Berkeley.

For every person it's different; maybe the rejection of binary gender roles in media, African American CEOs in top companies, maybe it's putting food on the table for your children, paying off credit card debt.

Whatever it is, the dream is alive. It's alive because we keep striving. It's alive because we choose to try again. We can see the disparity, disarray, and discrimination, but the dream only dies if we choose not to fight.

If we disengage, we cede the political, that is to give our oppressors an automatic victory because we conceded.

I am surrounded by people here at Berkeley that remind me that we are ready to fight. Brothers who support their sisters, friends asking pronouns, greek life members accepting trans people into their brother and sisterhoods with open arms. We are changing tomorrow because we don’t believe in academia, we believe in rolling up our sleeves.

Talk is cheap, y’all.

Sonya fears for tomorrow helplessly. I fear tomorrow because I know I am on the frontlines in the war.

She has given up, removed herself from the question and in essence given away her power.

She has killed her American Dream.

But mine is alive, and I hope yours is too.

Woody Guthrie’s This Land is Your Land is written out of him analyzing if long relief lines that he sees outside a church show that the dream is dead. He concludes that the dream is alive by ending the song with the lines:

Nobody living, can ever stop me,

As I go walking that freedom highway

Nobody living can ever make me turn back

This land was made for you and me.

[i-just-like-commenting]

Star Wars rewatch, part 3: Episode 2, Attack of the Clones

Following the Machete Order, I’ve gone from tESB to the prequel trilogy, skipping The Phantom Menace. How did that work out? Well... (this gets long)

Overall Impressions

I’ve been sitting on this one a while because I don’t, generally, enjoy writing negative reviews. And this film, in its theatrical release, is a bad movie, albeit bad in a different way than tPM. Episode 1 is just overall below average in everything, from its meandering plot to its weak characterization to its obvious CGI. But other than the racist accents, nothing in it as absolutely horrible.

AotC, on the other hand, has quite a lot of good content in it - but it’s paired with material that is so incredibly terrible that it makes the bad material feel that much worse. And given that there are two main plotlines in this movie, you can probably guess which one I consider good and which one bad.

Because yeah, I make no secret the fact that I think Ewan McGregor was one of the best things about the prequels, but his story in this is also the strongest part of the movie. Yes, I know, some people hate how talky it is, but it works as a political mystery as an assassination attempt slowly is revealed to be just one part of a galactic scheme to destabilize the Republic. Not only is it a good story, it has fairly well-defined characters this time around. Obi-Wan is depicted as very trusting and naive; he can’t even imagine that someone would destroy information in the Jedi library, because what Jedi would do that? Meanwhile Yoda is the voice of pessimism as he grumbles that the Jedi are becoming arrogant. We see how, behind the scenes, he and Mace Windu are painfully aware of the limitations of their small order, how weak their actual position is. Windu himself doesn’t get too much development, but he seems to be the practical, military side of the Jedi operation, while Yoda is more a teacher and a diplomat. It all culminates in a truly chilling finale as the clone army raised to stop a civil war marches into their ships...to the tune of the Imperial March.

And of course there is the magnificent line “The day we stop believing democracy can work is the day we lose it.” Very important message to remember right now.

Meanwhile, you have Anakin and Padme and oh my god this is so bad. Dissecting the why of it is difficult, though. I want to blame it all on the script, but it’s more more complicated than that. One of the worst lines of the film, the infamous “I hate sand” actually works for me pretty well, because Padme and Anakin laugh after he says it, which makes the awkwardness feel intentional, as if Anakin is aware of how ridiculous he sounds. So perhaps the acting can transcend the bad script...except when the script is sound but the delivery ruins it. Just reading the words, Anakin should be rather oblivious to his attraction to Padme, with everyone else more aware, including Padme, who’s not ready to think of him as an adult. But Hayden Christensen often plays Anakin like a stalker, and Natalie Portman is defiant rather than awkward. So are they just bad actors? We know Portman’s done well in other roles, and watch Christensen’s face during the scene where his mother dies - no, that’s not the problem.

I’m going to blame the director. It was Lucas’s job to bring the script to the scene, and everything about this screams poor communication between cast and crew. Their deliveries are erratic because they’re not being told what they’re supposed to be doing on screen. The more experienced actors - McGregor, Oz, Jackson, Lee - all clearly decided what their characters were going to be on their own and stuck to those interpretations, and it works. The younger actors, though, are clearly lost.

Is it fixable?

Yes. A ways back before The Force Awakens came out, I watched what the creator called the “cheese free” edit of the prequels, and while Phantom Menace wasn’t improved much at all by editing out the “cheese,” AotC was, dare I say, quite good. Since it was the first time I’d seen the film in years, I couldn’t remember what had been cut out, but I remember thinking, “Wait, why is this remembered as the worst one?”

Then I watched the original cut and I could tell every last thing he’d removed. Some of it wasn’t necessary, though it did streamline the plot (the R2D2 and C3P0 slapstick never really bothered me, the series has always had that) but what he did with Padme and Anakin was simply amazing, and all it took were a few cuts.

First, he cuts their first kiss, then the ridiculous rolling around in the grass, then all of the anguished dialog in the fireplace room. Oh, and he cut Anakin confessing the murders of the Sand People to Padme, jumping from his rage over Obi-Wan not letting him have enough power to Padme comforting him. It both (1) reinforces Anakin’s turn to darkness as he would hide this from her and (2) doesn’t make Padme fall for a man she knows is a mass-murderer. The result was that when they kissed on their way into the stadium, it felt completely, utterly believable, a steady progression from them being awkward, to getting to know each other, to bonding over their struggles. It worked, and I really wish that the copy of it hadn’t vanished from the internet.

Continuity, Part 1: Relation to the Other Prequels

So is the Machete order correct? Can you jump from episode 5 to 2 without watching tPM? The answer, I’m afraid, is no - but only for the first time watching it.

There’s just a few things that were introduced in Episode 1 that don’t get properly reintroduced in Episode 2. Mace Windu and Senator Palpatine show up and are not named for their entire first scene. Windu and Yoda worry about the Sith without ever defining what on earth they are, and without the “always two there are” speech the master-apprentice dynamic of Tyrannis and Sideous doesn’t work. Likewise, if you skip Episode 1, the first time you hear “Duel of the Fates” will be over Anakin’s anxious search for his mother which is...not right, sorry.

That said, it is true that without Episode 1 you can easily imagine Anakin and Padme as longtime childhood friends separated for a decade rather than as a 9 year old having a crush on a 14-year old and why did Lucas have to do that?

Continuity, Part 2: Relation to the Original Series

R2′s magically appearing-disappearing flight powers is one of the bigger plot holes created by the prequels. But for me the bigger issue is Anakin’s convoluted relationship to Owen and Beru. Stepsiblings that he barely knew does not gel with their reactions to his memory in Episode 4. I have an inkling of an idea to rewrite tPM to fix this and the Anakin/Padme problem. Make Anakin a little older - 12 or 13 - and have Beru be his older sister, maybe 18 or 19, in love with Owen Lars, son of a wealthy man, who wants to buy all of their freedom. He’s resistant to letting Anakin go with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. Padme really is one of the Queen’s handmaidens this time, Amidala being a separate, older character who would recur in AotC with a now-grown Padme as a senator. And C3P0 would be a protocol droid in the service of the queen rather than randomly created by Anakin; show his mechanical skill by fixing a droid.

Continuity, Part 3: Relation to the Current Series

In this film, the Geonosians already have plans to the Death Star; how does this relate to the creation of the plans we see in Rogue One? Were their plans just preliminary, and Galen Erso expanded on them? Is this something that gets explained in the various TV series? Well, I’ll start finding that out soon enough...

Meanwhile, if Boba Fett shows up in the Han Solo film he’d better be Maori. The origin story of Boba Fett is one of those things in the prequels that isn’t necessary but that I also don’t mind. So Boba Fett’s father helped create the clone army and died in front of him? Okay. This doesn’t detract from his character, though he’s in the original trilogy so little it doesn’t add that much either. But it was really nice to see Lucas try to diversify his very white universe with the casting of Jenga and Boba.

Conclusion: Droids Had it So Bad

There’s even more evidence of just blatant anti-droid bigotry under the Republic in this film. “If droids could think,” Obi-Wan quips, “none of us would be here.” Yet it’s obvious they do think - organic lifeforms are just in denial about it because they don’t want to admit to supporting a system of slavery and brainwashing. Droids themselves help reinforce this system as we see a droid kick send R2 away saying “Hey you, no droids!” Only R2 seems to be willing to defy the status quo.

Well, R2 and Padme. She is always certain to thank R2, and I remember that she did it quite formally in the first film. Padme seems to reject the notion of droids as non-sentient. Perhaps that’s why she invited R2 and C3P0 to be witnesses to their wedding.

Also, headcanon, but Padme threw the bouquet and C3P0 totally caught it and had an awkward exchange of looks with R2.

[sleepymarmot]

MEA liveblog #5

Spoilers!

Tempest

Aw, you could visit the Remnant VI in Peebee's room and it reacts when you interact!

Peebee has something new about the team! She warmed up to Lexi (nice to hear; maybe she could apologize?). And she's intersted in Jaal (as I've already learned from Gil's notes). Thankfully, Ryder could react just like I did: "Are you trying to make me jealous?" Peebee: "Maybe" Oh, and she made two Observers, one for herself: "The kind of company I can shut down whenever I want without hurting its feelings". I really like how Peebee is bubbly and energetic but still kind of antisocial and very protective of her personal and emotional space.

She reminds me of Leliana more and more. A quirky, competent, nice girl shows up and wants to join the team; she has trust issues because of an older woman who shows up in her personal quest and acts overly familiar and condescending. 

Drack told me a story about accidentally setting himself on fire!

Only Gil's eyes and mouth are moving. That's very creepy. A bug? And where's the option "I'm not here to have babies?" When Gil says that the biological demands suck the emotional option is "I understand" so I thought it'd be "Yeah, I know we should reproduce but I don't want to", but somehow Ryder jumped to "You want children" -- I got the opposite impression from the way Gil started the conversation! Btw in the final right-hand option you can complain about Alec being distant, and have a longer conversation, while the left-hand is a simple "I'm sorry". I kept the short option, though -- don't think my Ryder is that bitter about her dad.

There are topics I haven't seen on the message board!

The more I think about it, the more I feel that the Meridian's entire concept is ruining the game for me. Why bother with individual vaults if the Meridian can activate the entire network at once? Why help people and raise viability when I need to stop the Archon from wiping out the entire cluster? This is just another rush towards the final battle, like every game in the OT.

Multiplayer

Topped the scoreboard for the first time in today's APEX mission as the asari adept!

Tempest

Strike team rewards: Falcon and Ruzad.

Eos

Here's that woman who informs Ryder she's trans

The quest she gives is that Remnant thresher maw, right?

Remnant VI stays and follows you around even when you holster weapons.

The noise it makes is kind of annoying, though.

Peebee and Vetra finally started chatting!

I'm going into the western region that was previously hidden by level 3 radiation. Finally, a road up the mountain!

Finally, some Vanadium!!

Vetra doesn't accept Peebee's apologies. What is she even apologizing for?

Vetra and Peebee confessed that they really like each other!

"Disabling the alarm will call off reinforcements" IF ONLY I COULD FIND IT

Of course there's another ascendant! But now I know what to do. One-shot the orb with Isharay, charge, nova, melee, he puts up shield, dodge back, repeat. Only took two turns.

Eos is 96% now... Only a bit more...

Aaand Eos is 100%! That's a good time to leave it. And to end tonight's session.

Aya

Peebee's drunk conversation: did all casual/nice options, then all colder options. Then did the canon edition: all sympathetic except the one where Peebee complains that the angara have already researched the Remnant. The sympathetic one is just "Don't worry about that", but the other one says the obvious: why did she expect otherwise? Ryder goes on to say the same encouraging things about their unique experiences anyway.

The staging of this scene is bad, pretty much DAO-level. They have this conversation stiffly standing in the middle of a museum?

Tempest

So, Peebee and I... relaxed :D I picked the romantic dialogue option, glad I did -- it was warm but not clingy enough to scare Peebee off, as I feared. (And magically, mom left the room right before this scene happened and returned a minute later... now THAT's lucky!)

Havarl

They repaired the bridge! I was hoping to see this.

Havarl! Scientists everywhere! Going into jungle to scan wild animals for science! Now that's what I like about this game.

"Given the planet's significance to the angara, I think it's proper that we assist but do not place an outpost" See, Addison's good!

Whaaat? I gave Addison a pretty speech about first contact and working together, and it raised viability by 20%?! It's freaking 100% now??? Whoa.

Had to kill a lot of hallirians and a rilcor during the first scan. Second time, with the rilcor, I could approach from above and scan before it attacked. I mean, the fight still triggered, but I could retreat without touching anything.

Damn, now I need to fight! While I was trying to disengage, the eiroch chased and sync-killed me. :( So much for pacifism...

Okay, now I killed the Roekaar and disengaged without killing the beast, even though the quest told me to kill both. Fast-travelled to a forward camp, and then the task changed to find Roekaar research data. So the game probably thinks I killed the eiroch? But just didn't give xp for that. Okay, I don't mind that much.

I refused to tell the monk how to live his life, so he decided not to visit his sister. This might have some unpleasant consequences...

Kadara

So it's just Omega #2? I was expecting something more interesting.

I guess I'll have to choose between the two gangs eventually?

And here's Reyes!

Redid conversation with Sloane to be more diplomatic/productive. First option casual, then tell her my plan, then agree to the deal.

Her voice sounds very familiar...

Oh, that's Indira Varma? Wow.

Conrad Verner's sister... and she's jealous he's "hanging out with famous people"...

"Looks like I'm adding 'detective' to my growing list of titles" You did that a long time ago! This aspect is something I didn't expect from the game at all and really enjoy.

Why are the dances behind bars?! At least there's a turian in addition to an asari... And even male humans.

Of course this place has its own Mordin.

Oh, so that's the planet I liked the most in the "golden worlds" trailer. And it's hurt by low graphics more than anything else. I need to enable AO at least.

We killed this poor dinosaur for no reason except that it was in our way...

There's another one! Let's speed up past it.

A forward station! Nice.

I really miss a killfeed and a scoreboard in sp. I need to know if my abilities are actually effective or not! RN I'm testing Flamethrower and Backlash to choose their next evolutions.

"They were going to eat me" "I know" what?

Yikes, this place

I thought the forward station was on the mountain, but no, it's down there on perfectly nice even ground... Time wasted

Yay, level 30!

Getting into fights on this planet doesn't feel right. Why would I care about these outlaws?

Where's the activator for this stupid south-west monolith?!

"I'm good with... words" Um...

Tempest

I'm just overwhelmed by the meaningless that has drowned the entire plot. Why bother developing these words when I need to chase the Archon?

16 NEW LETTERS!!! SIXTEEN!!! What the hell, game?? How about you spread content out a bit??

Alright, this scene with Peebee was kind of annoying...

I just keep losing enthusiasm for this game...

Multiplayer crashes every time I try to join an APEX mission. Well fuck you too, I'll send a strike team.

Nexus/Hyperion

Some asari prefer male or neutral pronouns, the angara have several.

"Exploration and discovery or first contact with new species?" Uh, both!!

I'll listen to the results and then reload and make decisions

Well, "exploration and discovery" actually means "colonization". First contact it is, then.

"Previous pathfinders" sucks too, they don't even mention anyone but Alec

I feel obligated to give a shout-out to my team, but also everyone works with teams but my partnership with SAM is unique

And you know, other than Bioware's love for false dichotomies giving players the illusion of choice, there's absolutely no need for this! Why wouldn't an information VI be able to include both things?

Okay, so the real reason behind the Initiative wasn't Alec's mysterious plan but someone else's.

Came here to talk to Tann about my personal storyline? -- More like chase a sick woman across several decks and then the entire cluster! How did she manage to go so far in a malfunctioning shuttle...

All roads lead back to Kadara huh

Honestly though, I have no motivation for this planet. My job is to explore new places and make contact with new species. I have no interest in internal affairs of a bunch of thugs. But of course, two perks I want require high viability here...

Also, the Archon/Meridian business sounds monumentally more urgent and important than maxing out planets... But I don't want to go into the endgame underprepared in case it'll be like ME2/ME3.