#losing a life long friendship

[butchviking]

actually 2 b honest most of my Emotional Issues rn just boil down 2 im lonely. im literally just lonely.

[weezeryuri]

thank you gay people in my phone for making shit not feel entirely hopeless. irl shit still sucks but people have been so niceys to me and it makes me very happy. whether we’re friends or mutuals or acquaintances or strangers platonic romantic whatever the fuuuck i do truly appreciate it. sniffles pathetically and falls asleep in your lap like an old dog

[nick-close]

starts one of those ‘i’ll send u a letter from ur comfort character’ etsys for dndads because some of yall goin through it /j

[teardropsonsmyguitar]

.

[wolfisland]

dont get me wrong. i am absolutely a problem, often. im very cutting and blunt a lot of the time. people tend to find it funny til they realise i am deadly fucking serious. i definitely have anger issues. im a "i forgive you but i wont forget this" type. but i dont think im unkind, genuinely. i think it was just jarring for a lot of shitty people in my life when i stopped letting them treat me like shit. which makes sense, i just disrupted the fuckhead routine of like 6 white autistics. woe are they. but really honest god gun to my head i cant bring myself to feel bad about it. half of those friendships made me feel like shit about myself anyways.

[heyitslapis]

Ok

[hella1975]

Hi hella! I love love your writing and have done so for years and liked your posts but above all else I am a social media lurker at heart. But I wanted to tell you that following you for so long I’ve seen you go off to college and strike out on your own. Your self reflection and how you move through your life is so inspiring. I feel like your proud distant auntie sometimes cheering you on from afar. Growing up and going through school and into your adulthood is so confusing and frustrating and depressing sometimes but I’m a bit on the other side now and can tell you you’re doing so well. Absolutely killing it and it’s a privilege to read about. Your openness often has me reflect on my own life! I appreciate you bestie 🫶

reading this was genuinely so emotional BESTIE WHAT THE HELL

[deityofhearts]

i think also I’m just so quick to like genuinely love and care about people and I cling to the people I care about but like obvs people won’t have the same amount of affection for me as I do them and that’s also something i need to learn to be okay with

[caruliaa]

i hate tht so much of my life has been me begging others to care about me the way theyre supposed to . i hate that instead of wishing i didnt have to i wish that for once theyd say yes

[magpiesbones]

There really ought to be a word that means for friendship what ‘romantic’ means for dating because otherwise there’s literally No Word I can have to describe this without getting circuitous and poetic and like. I AM having this feeling. And now I need a word for it that isn’t stupid and trite. And I don’t HAVE one.

[mariemariemaria]

im feeling so hurt rn...my friend made a post that was like ‘i only have two real friends. i like other people but wouldnt care if i never saw them again’ and i know im in the second group :( she doesnt know ive seen the post but i just messaged her and from the vibe shes giving...yeah she wouldnt care if she never saw me again lol

[aflores98]

I believe there's something inherently tragic about seeing half a duo, after one is lost, whether it may be because of life o death.

It's like the space next to them is forever inhabited by a loss as big as the presence it once occupied it.

It's oh so easy to see there's someone that should be there but it's not, and people walk around and learn to live like that and I just...

I think it's so very agonizing.

Imagine finding someone who just fits perfectly by your side after feeling bereft for so long only for them to disappear one day.

Awaiting, longing, grieving.

The way the tones and brightness of the scenes gets duller as the movie gets sadder…

[twopercentboy]

,,,,

[lovingaeth]

miss my bestie so bad

[grimmthorne]

I hope I'm able to let things go that have no purpose in sticking around but I hope that i don't forget what they taught me

[supercityboys]

I recently tried to read Booster’s New52 Origins but stopped bc I remembered how much I hated other characters New52 Origins, so I went back and tried to make sense of KooeyKooeyKooey. Which is hard bc JLI/JLE’s tone is a light, humorous one, and (to me) it is harder to extrapolate genuine emotion/character motivations than it is with a down tone or a neutral one.

KoKoKooey kind of threw me for a little loop bc despite how “money hungry” Michael is, he does have common sense and basic morale. He initially opposes the island, questions the project multiple times, and jumps automatically into hero mode when the island awakens, as he normally does in his own book. But a quick glance at any of Michael’s battles will show you him telling off Dirk for prioritizing money (including the huge climax where he literally fires Dirk for being money hungry). So it really baffles me that he’d let Ted go through with the casino.

My reasoning based off of Michael’s books:

My strongest guess is that in the lieu of his own group “failing” on top of losing his family, when Michael decides to join the League full time, he assumes the subordinate role in just about every capacity because he no longer believes himself capable of leading.

In his family, the family dynamics are reversed yet while maintaining a nuclear family dynamic where Michael and Michelle both assume parental roles and the mother is the child. By the third retelling of his backstory— which is told by Michael to Ted— he admits that his mom pressures him by telling him not to be like his father (whom he’s never met). And so, he carries that residual guilt with him constantly. His football career doesn’t feel like it’s so much about the sport as it is a sure fire way out of poverty.

Though by the time being a full Leaguer rolls around he’s completely at the whims of others stationed above him, it does not escape my notice that at first opportunity Michael places himself as the object that needs direction. He needs Skeets and he needs Dirk. And when the occasion arises he works in tandem with Skeets, with Rip, with Jack, but completely deserts Dirk as he is not a true partner.

I think in attendance with liking Ted, Michael also tends to bet on losing dogs. He feels like a loser, he identifies with other losers, makes bed with them, and when it falls apart he also falls apart because it conflicts with the façade that is egoism. Michael projects his egotistical persona and subconsciously tucks away his loserism. By the time KoKoKooey comes around he’s already outed as the loser, and losers need a leader. For work, Booster’s already got Jon and Batman. But for matters of the heart? Security? Who does Michael have? He has Ted. He puts his all into Ted bc Ted has everything he found in Skeets, in Trixie, in Dirk, in Rip, in Jack. He doesn’t have to play patriarch to Ted or leader. And really it boils down to Michael looking for himself in other people rather than inward (again).