#los angeles wttsh

[distinguishedwitchparadise]

[floridasnatural]

miami doodles + L.A

inject caprisuns into your blood stream - miami

[kaz-playz]

I had a hellish thought and I'm making you all suffer with me for it

(Around Christmas time)

~~~~~

*Miami is on call with the main 6 with major cities in the background*

Houston, distanly: MIAMI! HELP! FUCKING COME HELP ME!

*NYC comes downstairs*

NYC: Why the fuck are you yelling?

Houston, on the verge of tears: JUST COME IN THE FUCKING KITCHEN-

Texas, over the phone: Was that Houston? What's goin' on?

Miami: Yeah that was Houston. I'm gonna go see whats up. You wanna come with or wait for me to call back?

California: Stay on the phone, I wanna see whats wrong.

*Miami goes to the kitchen where Houston's voice came from and sees New Orleans, NYC, and Los Angeles standing there in shock*

(Extra backstory: Houston was in charge of the turkey and most sides for Christmas dinner and all that. Houston is accident prone.)

DC: what's going on?

NYC, to Houston: How the FUCK. Did you get your hand stuck in the Turkey snatch?

Houston: 1. Ew don't call it that. 2. I DONT KNOW I WAS TRYING TO GUT IT!

New York: I'm sorry, her arm is stuck where?

Los Angeles: ...Her hand is stuck in the turkey vagina...

New Orleans: How did you manage this...

Miami, laughing: Does that even matter right now? She got her fucking hand stuck in TURKEY COOCH

Houston: STOP SAYING IT LIKE THAT, ITS GROSS!

Miami, to Texas: Texas, when you said she was accident prone I didn't think you meant this.

Houston: Did you just say Texas?

Houston, Horrified, Voice cracking: IS MY DAD ON THE PHONE?!

Miami: Yeah dude. They all are

*Hellos are said yadayada*

Houston, getting increasingly more impatient: Now that we're all caught up. CAN SOMEONE GET MY HAND OUT OF THE FUCKING TURKEY BEFORE IT FREEZES OFF? THIS DAMN THING IS COLD

NYC, chuckling: Yeah don't worry sis we'll get you out of the turkey cooch

Houston: I hate all of you. Im never cooking again.

New Orleans: Yeah I think that was pretty obvious.

Los Angeles: I hope you know we're still using this turkey for the dinner.

Miami, snickering: Good, I expect it to be *extra* ~Tender~

Houston: Miami, if my finger freezes off because you fuckstains waited to help me im going to make you eat it.

Miami: Ok pissy. I gotta hang up the phone.

Miami, to the main 6: Bye dads see you later I gotta go before Houston has my head

*main six says bye except Florida and Louisiana and probably someone else that wasn't here lol*

------------------

I could add more/improve this but its long and m tired. END FOR NOW.

[distinguishedwitchparadise]

LA🩷

[distinguishedwitchparadise]

Btw Austin was wearing a unicorn onesie lol

[distinguishedwitchparadise]

got bored lol

[floridasnatural]

los angeles

[kaz-playz]

Finally back on the grind. IQ time

~~~~

Alaska: Christmas lights? 
Iowa: Check. 
Ames: Thermos of hot cocoa? 
Iowa: Check. 
Anchorage: Santa suits? 
Iowa: Check. 
Cedar Rapids: Shovel? 
Iowa: Check. 
Jeneau: Alibi and bail money? 
Iowa: Check - wait, WHAT?!

~~~~

Alaska: Bye Iowa! Bye Anchorage! Bye Cedar Rapids! Bye Ames! Bye Iowa!

Jeneau: You said 'bye Iowa' twice.

Alaska: I like Iowa.

~~~~

Los Angeles: Anyone else feel good when their brain releases a bunch of endorphins? 
California: Can't relate. 
San Francisco: Why would my brain release a bunch of dolphins?

~~~~

San Francisco, washing the dishes: Who the fuck used this pan?? 
San Francisco: Wait. I the fuck used this pan… 
California: It was you the fuck. 
San Francisco: It was I the fuck… 
Las Vegas: Who cooks rice in a pan? 
California: They the fuck.

~~~~

California, looking at a selfie of Nevada’s: I hate this photo. 
Nevada: I’m cute as fuck in that photo! I’m smiling kindly. 
California: You’re not smiling kindly; you look like you’re up to something. 
Nevada: Up to kindness.

~~~~

Nevada: I assume you realize that this kind of idiocy will not be tolerated in this house. 
Carson City: Is there any kind of idiocy you would be more comfortable with?

~~~~

San Francisco: Pick a card, any card. 
Las Vegas: Fine. 
San Francisco: Wait, that's my credit card! 
Las Vegas: You said any card.

[kaz-playz]

IQS BABY

~~~~

Los Angeles: It's not ugly, it's aesthetically challenged.

~~~~

Nevada: Okay, what does A stand for? 
Los Angeles: Arson. 
Nevada: Aw, you're so good. Okay! B! What does B stand for? 
Los Angeles: Barson. 
Carson City: *laughter* 
Nevada: What stands for C? 
Los Angeles: Commit arson. 
Carson City: Oooo.

Nevada: D! 
Los Angeles: Don't come near me, I'm going to commit arson. 
Carson City: *more laughter*

~~~~

Las Vegas: I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am- 
Carson City: A doll. 
Los Angeles: A cinnamon roll. 
Nevada: A sweetheart. 
Las Vegas: 
Las Vegas: ...stop it.

~~~~

San Francisco, as a child, reading their school assignment out loud: I love my library because... 
San Francisco, mouthing words while writing: I love reading, fuck you.

~~~~

Nevada: Plants are basically the ideal friends. They are quiet, friendly, and easy to please. All they need is a little water and fresh earth, and they are perfectly happy to lie there all day in the sun. And they don’t make increasingly awful life choices, or hide their relationships. They have never, as far as I know, fucked a bee.

~~~~

San Francisco: I know what a prism is! It's where you put bad people.

~~~~

Los Angeles: So according to the cease and desist order I got, apparently you can’t ‘legally’ be a lawyer if your license is ‘cut out of a cereal box’.

~~~~

Nevada: Carson City, I’m afraid. 
Carson City: Just stay close to California. 
Nevada: That's why I’m afraid.

[kaz-playz]

Los Angeles: So Carson City, how did your first time cooking dinner go? 
Carson City: Pretty good if I do say so myself. 
Los Angeles: Oo! Okay, what are we having? 
Carson City: Alright, so for appetizers, we have a potato. 
Los Angeles: A whole potato? 
Carson City: Yes. And then for the main course, we have grilled cheese sandwiches! 
Los Angeles: These just look like big slabs of black. 
Carson City: Because that's what they are! 
Carson City: And then for desert, we have chocolate. 
Los Angeles: These are just chocolate chips? 
Carson City: They sure are! 
Carson City: And then for drinks, we have toast! 
Carson City: *lifts up a glass of blended toast* Bon appetite!

[kaz-playz]

Self aware >:)

~~~~

Nevada: I honestly feel like some of our conversations here are almost word-for-word accurate to the generator.

Los Angeles: Yup.

Las Vegas: Maybe the generator is watching us.

Nevada: Wouldn't that imply this conversation will be added?

Nevada: ...

Nevada: Wait—