#lorg duck

[heartnosekid]

duck pond cake by aprilsbakerlondon on ig

[salternateunreality2]

Miscellaneous Neurodivergent (ND) AGSZC Headcanons/Alternate Universe

Disclaimer: not an expert

AU setup: all the boys are neuro-spicy except Angeal, who has depression/anxiety. I HC that GZ are more ADHD-leaning and SC are more Autism (ASD)-leaning

From: the archives of my convos with @strayheartless

--------------------------------

Fidgets

Everyone has a fondness for really dense, tiny objects. Cloud has a heavy, cold wolf charm that has tiny shards of ice-type materia for eyes. It's always cold and reminds him of home.

Zack definitely has a slap bracelet that doubles as one of those reversible sequin thingies. It has a frog head. He either violently slaps it on things when he's wound up, or meticulously makes all the sequins go the same direction when he's hyper focusing on it, or roughly pets it up and down to change colors rapidly, or digs the sequins under his fingernails. He also fiddles with the felt tongue and makes it go floopfloopfloop and lick his friends.

Sephiroth doesn't understand at first, and Zack's the one who buys him a plethora of toys. Some of them he hates, some he loves, and most of them he keeps in a basket for his friends at his flat. There are a couple noisy ones he hides from Zack, or "accidentally" lets Zack steal. I think his favorite would have to be something that goes with his uniform, probably the ornate belt buckle he has in canon. He can trace the design with his fingers or fiddle with the tassels. I'm mostly thinking of the round one, but it could be other parts of his uniform too.

Genesis has puzzles of all sorts around him at all times. He prefers quieter ones made of wood and string that he can carry around, but has loud metal ones, large boxes, etc. He sadly broke the water ring puzzle Zack gave him in a fit of rage and never solved it. It's just as well, the thing was tacky. (It is not just as well, he still gets angry thinking about it and wants to beat it SO BADLY, feels guilty for breaking it, and feels ashamed for letting it best him).

Angeal enjoys solving Gen's puzzles from time to time.

----------------------------

TINY SPOONS

Angeal: is bewildered, but bought extra to keep on hand

Genesis: LOVES THEM, and won't say so in those exact words; rather, he has a myriad of scientific evidence to back his opinion up

Sephiroth: every spoon is a tiny spoon to the lorg boi

Zack: likes them, but also needs normal and big spoons to shovel food in

Cloud: secretly really likes them, but also likes comically large, inappropriate spoons, like wooden stirring spoons

------------------------------

Living Spaces

Filled to overflowing, but mostly tastefully arranged: Genesis

Spartan by choice: Sephiroth

Spartan by necessity: Cloud

Neurotypical: Angeal

Messiest apartment: Zack

------------------------------

Stims

One of Seph's subtle stims is swishing his hair. Idk if you've ever done that with like a high ponytail or something, but you just very subtly move your body and all the hair goes whoosh whoosh.

Zack starts squatting subconsciously.

Cloud likes ducking his head into his shirt/scarf.

Genesis is very rhythmic, he likes tapping, humming, whistling, and reciting certain poems.

Angeal will find himself tapping along to Gen sometimes.

---------------------------------

Food

Angeal makes an absurd amount of buttered noodles with milk for Cloud when he's suffering with mako, and figures out how to make bland enough noodles from scratch because he's a legend.

(yeah, this is a bit of a stereotype, but have you HAD buttered noodles when you can't eat anything else?!)

-

Meanwhile, sensory-seeking Genesis and Zack bring home the weirdest, most flavorful things they can find.

Zack: Cloud! Look at this! I have crawdad claw fingers now!!! RAWWRRR!!!!

Cloud: ...enjoy your creek bug.

-

Not that Cloud can't eat almost anything; growing up poor forced him into many sensory experiences with food he Did Not Enjoy, but now that he has more of a choice, he saves the DEMON SPAWN FIRE SAUCE HOT WINGS foods for Zack.

-

Genesis pretends to be a snob, so his weird food has fancy names and costs a pretty penny, like escargot.

-

Sephiroth, much like Cloud, can choke down almost anything in the name of ingesting calories, but he likes simple, tasty things that aren't mushy.

Angeal will try most things and is a member of the clean plate club.

-----------------------------------------

Deep Pressure

All the boys love hugs from their partners, and these 5 gentlemen give the best deep pressure hugs ever. The strength in their arms makes the pressure so strong, satisfying, and secure. They can also be found laying on each other just to get smooshed and feel grounded.

----------------------------------

Meow (Echolalia)

Zack wanders around meowing, setting off Cloud and Sephiroth.

Angeal joins in because he thinks he hears a cat, and he's a good sport.

Genesis: Angeal. Why are you meowing.

Angeal: just talking to the cat, don't mind me 🙂

Genesis: ....YOU DON'T HAVE A CAT

Angeal: ...I don't have a cat, what the heck?

Zack, Cloud, Sephiroth: meow

-

Sephiroth is very good at imitating sounds; it makes sense though with his alien shapeshifter genes. He also chirps, like, a LOT, like a cat luring in his prey

See also: why he quotes Loveless.

-

Genesis: *spiraling about something, overstimulated, self esteem in the toilet, pacing, babbling*

Sephiroth: My friend, do you fly away now?

Genesis: *instantly snaps out of it, comes over for snuggles*

Sephiroth: *purrs*

[on-a-lucky-tide]

Gdi Rawr, I don't even go here but the Halsin vibes are starting to get even me. What is it about large plush men that could easily bench press a person?????

Listen. Listen.

I am right there with you.

They're. Just. All the. Thicc.

Someone I can knead, who could hold me down by the scruff of the neck, but has these deep, golden threads of kindness flowing through them. They could be truly dangerous, but they choose to be good. They're dorks, they're chonky, they have a deep, booming laugh, they block doorways, they are walking heaters, they somehow always smell so good, you wanna rub your face in their chesthair, and everything is just so. Frickin. Lorge.

Halsin loves honey, he loves ducks, he calls you "my heart", he gets so flustered during his First Time with you that he *poofs* into a literal bear. But also, do a Dark Playthrough and piss him off, when he gears up to kill you... Holy. Fucking. Shit.

Also, also, also... Halsin and Eskel need to meet. I have the fic. It's started. I just... Aaaahhh.

[butchjeremyfragrance]

I thought your pfp was a creature with a lorge nose

ducks have large noses

[jynzandtonic]

I must say all of the TDDD promo/interviews he did with Chloe sevigny were a blessing (aka the infamous smirking coffee sip) but he had such a nice rapport with Chloe and we got to see him be giggly!

also for another 2019 love fest I got insanely lucky and twisted my brothers arm to go to NYC with me for my spring break and see Adam in previews for Burn This since it was my senior year of college and then forced my brother to wait at the stage door (both of us had never been to a Broadway play or anything and on principle my bro cringes at like asking for autographs or fangirling around celebs) and I got to meet Adam for .5 seconds! I was literally shaking and said a very rushed “thank you so much the show was amazing” and he smiled and made eye contact and said “oh thank you, thanks a lot” and signed my playbill and I could’ve died happy right there. Also it’s maybe the least surprising thing in the world be he is so LARGE, like yes I’m only 5’2” but that man is a tower of hotness and talent and humility

OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD. ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?! BURN THIS AND A LORGE BOI IRL?! HOLY SHIT THAT IS AMAZING! I just died happy by proxy. What an incredible experience! I’m just buzzing for you! 

~oh and you mean this interview?

YEP IT WAS AN ABSOLUTE GIFT

[treewithabark]

“Park” is my favourite trick that Hana knows and this is why

[modmad]

what dimensions do you use for the pages of your comics?

2

[thebonevault]

Where is this giant duck from????

LEGO - Rubber Duck 

[doctor-sasslady]

“You deserve better than this.” (from a lorg lad with shiny baubles)

"You deserve better than this."

She hadn't meant to say it, so Ileina couldn't blame Muunokhoi for stopping just short of kissing her and giving her a puzzled look. His musical response came in a deep rumble,

"Deserve better than what, Little Bird?"

He'd ended up on top this time after their latest sparring session, and Ileina couldn't say that she minded being pinned on her back beneath the big Xaela one bit. Of course he was stunningly beautiful with those glittering scales and eyes like starlight. And he was amazing in bed. And he'd really been around when she'd hadn't been okay, even if she never wanted to talk about it.

And he made her smile and laugh anyway.

Maybe that was why Ileina was sorry. He was gorgeous and wonderful and very charming. And she was... a tiny slip of a woman with mostly tangled red hair and dirt on her freckled face. She waddled like a duck in heeled shoes and didn't look right dressed up in anything fancy. She brawled bare knuckle in the desert and came home bloody each time. Sure she was smart, but she was also kind of obnoxious and a little on the left side of stable. Khoi was fancy, and she was... well, she wasn't fancy.

Ileina recovered with a grin that was mostly confident even as those freckled cheeks colored with a little bit of a blush. What the fuck was wrong with her? It wasn't like they were dating. If that was the case, she'd have cause to worry because she was horrible and awkward at dating. Only one person had ever been drawn to the mess that she was when she was smitten. And she wasn't that, so it was fine. She didn't have to be sorry.

"I didn't say nothin,'" she murmured softly, lifting her head the rest of the way up to close the minimal remaining distance between them and seal the kiss.

[cake-wlk]

one of like 10 shinies i found trying to get oshawotts to spawn in the icelands for its damned dex entry

lorge blue duck

[directorsteelbeak]

@ducktales-wco-oo​ asked: 

❝ I am the terror that flaps in the night... ❞ Chimes a familiar voice, not holding quite as much gravitas as the television hero he's impersonating, but close enough considering how long he's been doing this. ❝ I am the neutron shot at the nucleus of nefariousness! I am Darkwing Du— huh? ❞ Introduction is cut short by a confused sound, gaze riveted on the VERY familiar rooster who has been causing all the ruckus. Because of the distraction, the landing is mistimed, Fenton— Darkwing slipping as his foot hits the ground, the hero stumbling forward with a startled yelp.

Arms flailing, the tiny duck tumbles forward, rolling a few feet before bumping into some nearby trash-bins. Thankfully empty, but still hard... and loud as they rattle away, Darkwing sitting upright with a groan. Rubbing his forehead, headfeathers falling in his face, he fixes them and his hat as he stands, looking quizzically at Steelbeak. Not seeming quite as concerned as he should be about the CRIME, focus is more on the man committing it because—

❝ You-? Again? I... But— ... Weren't you just- ... Isn't this the third time I've swooped by to foil a plan this week? ❞ Darkwing inquires, head cocked like a confused pup and a brow quirked. Hazel hues flitting up and down the far larger male's body, he takes a small cautious step backward, just in case, ❝ No offense, but... shouldn't you leave some criminal activity for the other villains? ❞ - (*wheezes in Darkwing!Fenton @ the lorge rooster :3c*)

Unprompted

Steelbeak glances up to the sky the moment he hears the familiar introduction, and briefly wonders if the other is going to do this every. godamn. time. 

Probably. 

Maybe he should come up with a phrase, just to show how weird the other is being. But he crosses his arms and waits for the speech to be over. However the other cuts off and the rooster is given the amusing sight of the hero falling and hitting the trash cans. 

“Nice going Duncewing.” He says dryly once the sound of the metal cans stopped echoing around them. He looks down at the duck and honestly seems as concerned as the other is about the situation. Not at all. He uncrosses his arms, tossing the small rock he had in his hand up and down as the hero becomes confused. 

“Fourth.” He corrects. “Last Saturdays crime was actually committed five minutes after midnight.” Making it Sunday. It counted in Steelbeak’s books, and anything to slightly annoy the hero made it worth it. The rooster smirks. 

“Oh but Dorkwing if I do that how am I gonna see you?” He asks and suddenly the rock in his hand is tossed hard to the side, hitting the glass window of another store and smashing through; sounding another alarm. 

He likes this banter between them a bit too much to really stop. He isn’t...entirely sure why. But expecting Darkwing to show up for only big heists was boring sometimes and he needed something to kill the rest of the day. 

[brownstonearmy]

2020-09-25: Juiced! (Part 5)

August 7 (Friday midmorning)

After the events of the previous day, you'd think our lovely band of adventurers would catch a break. BUT YOU WOULD BE MISTAKEN! Messages, insights and calls to action proliferate throughout the party.

Lucky receives a letter from Miss Mavis asking for a favor:

"Lucky, can you and your friends help me find a crystalline energy amplifier? I need one for a restoration project. They're worth a hefty price, but I'll gladly reimburse if you find one."

Norm, meanwhile, has learned that Yance Elbereth is convalescing at SHART HQ. The time to strike against his assassination target is nigh!

Spleenifer has learned through meditation and spiritual attunement that the waterskin from the monk is a type of holy water and the decorative bowl is actually a bowl of Commanding Water Elementals. And on Spleenifer's first day of official work as Mayor Dunwall's assistant, she has been asked for her input how best to solicit donations to help the Mayor with reelection.

Q (going as Jay on this auspicious day) found a note under their door:

"From one bard to another, here's a piece of advice: never trust a Stout you can't drink. I have Stout problems of my own, if ever you want to meet for a pint at the usual bard hangouts. I'm easy to find, since the scales stand out. -Kadana Meristan"

Everyone splits up to start on their respective tasks, so let's follow one adventurer at a time and see where things lead!

Up first we have have Jay, and they strike out for the Juicy Lyre tavern to meet up with the mysterious author of the letter. Kadana, an attractive dragonborn, is nursing a pint while composing a song on the back of a playbill. After Jay takes a seat, she explains that Lawrence Stout was once her patron. But like Jay, she got into some hot water when things got a little too close between Kadana and Russell Stout. The younger Stout seems to have a habit of fraternizing with the arts (as the euphemism goes). But in Kadana's case, her arts funding got cut off as punishment.

Jay and Kadana muse for a bit on strategies to get back at Lawrence and/or Russell. The best way to strike back seems to be breaking up the Stout family businesses, but neither of them are quite sure how to go about doing that. Kadana excuses herself to attend to some other bardly matters, but it's clear that Kadana is playing this as a playful round of hard to get. Folks, we're seeing the beginnings of a beautiful friendship (and possible romance)!

But we must fade to black for now and pick up on Spleenifer's tale! She's back at the Mayoral Manor to discuss the upcoming election strategy. On the way over to the Mayor's place, she found a slightly-charred scrap of paper that probably fell out of someone's pocket during the events of last night. It reads: "You promised me I could use the ring to fix my problem. -Rooney"

Spleenifer stuffs the scrap in her pocket and focuses on the task at hand with the mayor. Since Zaribeth Quickfingers is mounting an unexpectedly strong campaign (though really, any campaign at all is probably unexpectedly strong against Dunwall), the incumbent mayor needs to take the special election preparations seriously. Spleenifer suggests mounting a spin campaign to solicit donations, but her methods are a bit... unorthodox:

"Make it say incontinent instead of incumbent!"

That'll surely take away from the discontent brewing about the mayor's presumed incompetence! What's a giant dung beetle to do? Approve the suggestion and blast it out across town, of course!

Now we switch POV to Lucky, who suggested at the start of the adventure that the party should investigate an unusual announcement in today's Brownstone Bugle where the Meyrick family was looking to hire someone to kidnap their daughter for ransom. But Lucky isn't abandoning Miss Mavis's task! In her words, she's gonna try to kill two stones with one bird.

Lucky is already familiar with crystalline energy amplifiers, and knows they can be found in certain naturally occurring crystal deposits. The catch is that only the biggest crystals (worth at least 1,000GP) can function as a proper amplifier, but she's got a lead on a potential source in a mine about 10 miles east of town. If Lucky can win the audition to kidnap the daughter, she could potentially stash her quarry in the mine while looking for crystals.

She knocks on the the door of the Meyrick estate, and the butler escorts her Mr. Meyrick's study. Mr. Meyrick is a skinny man with wild hair that is graying at the temples. If Gary Busey was a used car salesman and the characters knew what car salespeople were, that's what everyone would say the elder Meyrick looks like.

Mr. Meyrick asks Ms. Lucky Proudfoot what her plans for his daughter are, and she explains the plan. She also plans to scurry off to the mines in a mobile house on chicken legs for extra dramatic flair. The daughter can work in the mines hunting crystals while waiting for the ransom payment to arrive. Meyrick thinks this is an excellent plan and hires Lucky on the spot. He just needs some time to subdue his daughter before she'll be ready for the exchange. Come back later this evening, he says, and she'll be Lucky's problem for the next few hours.

Now's the perfect time to switch over to Norm, who's sneaking his way to where Yance is staying. The recently-concussed trader of illicit antiquities is laying on a cot staring at the ceiling. Norm applies some of the St. Ignatius's Re-Dead Juice to his dagger and moves in for the kill. But Yance rolls over just as Norm enters the room and makes eye contact.

All is not lost, though! Norm shifts into playing the part of an ally who is checking in on him after the concussion. "How many fingers am I holding up?" Norm asks. He goes through a series of simple tests and then "checks for bumps" on the back of Yance's head. That's when Norm makes a tiny nick at the base of Yance's hairline with his poison-coated dagger. Yance passes away seconds later, peacefully slumping back onto the cot.

Sounds of a loud scuffle erupt outside, and from Norm's vantage point, it appears to be a fight between five drunken sailors and a sober-seeming ship's officer. Despite being split up, the rest of the party is close enough to hear the sounds of the brawl and everyone converges on the scene.

Lucky triggers a wild surge and casts Suggestion on one of the sailors, telling him to "make love, not war." Every time she blinks, a duck appears nearby. The sailor under the influence of Lucky's Suggestion grabs a fellow sailor by the arms and pulls him over for a deep kiss. The sailor on the receiving end of the kiss is surprisingly receptive to the romantic gestures, and they stumble away from the fray to keep the passion burning.

Norm exits his building, dashing through alleyways so as to make it look as though he came from a completely different building. There's a drunken brawl and a separate manly make-out session and at least a dozen ducks by this point. What the heck is happening here?

Spleenifer, having been a sheltered woman of faith, has never seen men kiss before. She grabs a duck and announces to her newfound companion: "Let's watch together!" Regardless of the duck's opinion on the matter, it's along for the ride. The passionate pirates are flattered by Spleenifer's audience, but their ships don't really sail that way, if you catch their drift.

While all this chaos is unfolding, Lucky has a bit more fuel to add to the fire. She drops her suggestion and casts invisibility on two pirates and the officer. It's hard to fight when you can't see each other, right? Well, it does stop the fight for the most part, as the two invisible pirates stumble off to rob a bank with their newfound invisibility powers.

The remaining pirate is lifted up by an invisible force (spoiler: it's the captain) and slapped. Now the captain's visible again and orders him to return to the Rising Howl, their ship that is currently docked until the river rises high enough to let them sail. Spleenifer grabs another duck from the flock (now called Prongle), while still restraining the original duck (now named T'Pam) in her sturdy arms. She manages to coax them into pecking at each other like they're kissing.

Norm dashes over to where the sailors were fighting and is nearly overpowered by the stench of alcohol. He pulls out a match lights it to see just how much of a drunken cloud the sailors left behind. Lucky adds a little pizzazz to the situation with a little bit of flammable luck, and the cloud ignites in an impressive cloud of flame in the air that leads in the direction of the fleeing sailors. Jay leaps in front of the two kissing sailors to shield their love from the explosion.

Once things calm down (always only briefly in this town), the party swings by the general store for some pickaxes for their upcoming mining expedition. Not wanting T'Pam and Prongle to feel left out, Spleenifer fashions some miniature pickaxes out of twigs to give to the ducks. Lucky snags a caterpillar cocoon (foreshadowed magical purposes!) on the way to contact the lizardfolk to borrow their house.

At the Meyrick estate, Mr. Meyrick greets the party and directs them to a wagon containing a tied-up sleeping giantess (technically half-giantess, but still LORGE). Once their "hostage" is safely aboard the house, the party contemplates what to do.

"I've never done kidnapping before," asks Lucky "but is it reasonable to ask for her emancipation?" But that is soon answered once the giantess wakes up. Lucky is able to communicate with her, and learns that the giantess's name is Tina. She's well-spoken and her family loves her a lot. This whole kidnapping thing is a publicity stunt to get some sponsorship deals. The house gallops toward the mine, reaching the entrance after about 20 minutes.

Tina agrees to help the party mine for crystalline amplifiers and takes up a pickaxe along with the rest of the party. Lucky uses the cocoon to transform herself into an umber hulk with a sweet, sweet burrowing speed. But after some time has passed, a group of eight drunken brigands arrives at the mine's entrance to hide out.

Norm puts down his pickaxe and sneaks toward the boisterous brigands to assess the situation. One of the group has a rucksack full of books, while the rest carry sacks of more conventional treasure. As Norm listens in from the shadows, he learns that the treasure comes from their recent break-in of Salem's.

The sound of picks against stone catches the attention of the brigands, who drop their spoils and tread deeper into the tunnels. A massive chunk of crystal has just been unearthed, and it could function as a quality crystalline amplifier if it can be completely excavated. However, that's the time the drunkards show up. One of them makes obscene and probably physiologically incompatible advances at Tina and a fight soon breaks out.

Smites, spells, and sneak attacks smash into the metaphorically-smashed sailors. Lucky's burrowing triggers a small tunnel collapse, and her confusing gaze disorients even more of the sailors. Spleenifer smacks at the base of the crystal to uproot it before the tunnel collapses further, and soon the party emerges victorious.

Mr. Meyrick arrives to collect his daughter just as the last brigands flee into the night. He mentions that the sponsorship deal fell through, though he still brought the promised ransom. Maybe they'll be able to collaborate on another scheduled kidnapping in the future? Who knows!

The party searches through the stuff left behind by the brigands and finds wealth of many types. Material wealth in the form of gold and gems is most obvious here, but there is also informational wealth. Among the books that were stolen from Salem's is a copy of Zaribeth's accounting ledger. As in, the true version that depicts all the shady stuff going on with Zaribeth's businesses.

With that realization, the adventure concludes for the night and everyone advances to level 12. Stay tuned next time for more!

[eeemarvel]

This is some of my work fam-bam, tag yourself lol

Nancy

Always says good morning and goodbye

*polite obligatory head nod*

Me: *enters the coffee room* Nancy: AH! Excuse me, I’m sorry...

avoids conversations beyond good morning, good bye, and excuse me

professional teacher attire

tiny comb

skirts even in winter

That comb is real tiny

George

shifty eyes

donald duck sippy cup

tiny green bike for boys next to all the adult bikes   

Me: Morning George, how are you?

George: *looks around the 2x4 coffee room* what do you mean?

Me: I—um... how are you?

George: Who are you talking about?

Me: You???

George: OH! Yes! I’m good! Ah man, English is difficult...

Me: I’m speaking Japanese, George...

circular  glasses make the eyes real LORGE.

noodle jersey

Frank

Played football in college

The aura of someone who could professionally assassinate you but won’t bc that’s the bigger power move

cleanest gucci suit every day

newspapers

we’re gonna talk about american politics today, Scribble. Get ready.

tiny mischievous son is prince of the school

does power squats in your periphery

Tammy

Jokes

sweaters and cardigans

two tiny tufts of hair are red at the end BUT THEY’RE NOT DYED WHAT?!

makes 30 minute staff meeting into hour long staff meeting because have you heard this joke?

big chin animal collectibles

wants the big chin pig

cheeseburgers

dances when under pressure

Miya

Everyone’s big sister

Short wavy hair cuts and large glasses

“Are you eating enough?”

“When did you go to bed?”

“Just take it easy.”

Gives advice that will get you fired if followed

forgets tea cup everywhere

stacks of tiny decorative tapes

fresh flowers on the desk

will tease you

Amy

Imagine the shortest person you know. Shorter than that. 

Apples (the shape not the flavor)

FOOD?!

Makes comics about a cat  named Nyantaro (think Meowothy in English)

Crafts

Will bring you handmade snacks

butter yellow volkswagon  filled with stuffed animals

Theater!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone standing behind me like 3 feet away: Has anyone asked Scribble if she’s going to lunch? Idk, I can’t speak English. Maybe she has a lunch? She brought one yester—

Amy in English at full volume: SCRIBBLE! NOW, LUNCH, TOGETHER GO! YUM, YUM DELICIOUS, OK??? 

Amy to coworkers in Japanese: She’ll understand because we’re soulmates. 

Is 100% my soulmate

pound of kimchi for sale, don’t ask questions

takes pictures of the school lunch every day

Max

handstands

is flexible

“My tummy is cute, isn’t it?”

“Shall we dance?”

track suits

plays table tennis with students half a foot taller than him

tummy is kinda cute

sports car in the middle school parking lot

hip hop dance tutorial after school if you’re interested

Max: Wanna go to the store with me?

Me: uuuuuuhhhhh......

Miya: You can say no, Scribble it’s ok

Max: *sucks teeth*

Warren

so much star wars

Have you heard about our lord and savior MY 2 CHILDREN? 

Never makes lesson plans

“Let’s just go with plan b”

a disaster

Warren in English: Use the force!

Student: Excuse me...?

Warren: I am your FATHER!

Student in English now: No... you’re not?

Kinda lazy

a whole mess

“Noodles are a drink” 

Everyone’s little brother for some reason????

is “Nabe-chan”

Comedy duo with Tammy

2 hour long comedy sets staff meetings. 

Gruncle Sam

Happy but strict grandpa energy

old

Retired last year 

Is still here????????????

Strong gravelly bad ass anime grandpa voice. Like those old masters who have the best fight scenes but claim they’re out of practice

Brings fresh fruit from his orchard for everyone

box of figs

box of oranges

*finds mysterious orange on my desk* uhhhhh 

Amy: it’s from Gruncle Sam

me: ah, ok.

sells sporting events tickets after school

draws realistic portraits of every single student

baseball serve like a rocket launcher

sobbing baseball team

fanny pack full of secrets

Janet

can play literally any instrument

elegant af

laughs at all of Tammy’s jokes

made a quiche and her boyfriend didn’t appreciate it

doesn’t know what “dick” means

“He only jumped in front of my car so he can SUE ME!” (Warren jumped in front of her car)

Wants a baby but does not want a husband at all because “they’re not necessary”

a champion

gold medals in the school display case

Can make a hero out of a zero if you give her two weeks, a metronome, and 8,000 cups of coffee

[secondclarinet]

scariest band instruments, ranked

Trombone: the concept of partials is terrifying, plus how do you know where to put the slide??

Piccolo: help

French horn: what are you doing with your hand and why, also partials

Trumpet: it’s a trumpet.

Tuba: lorge. I still don’t know what partials are

Euphonium: least scary brass instrument

Flute: what does your mouth do

Oboe: what are double reeds and why do they sound like ducks

Bassoon: double reeds are still scary but at least it’s not screeching

Clarinet: some squeaks but overall a very good instrument

Saxophone: not scary, just sexy. doesn’t squeak like the clarinet

[pops-and-kids]

5 per commander THIS BE A LONG POST BOI LET’S GO

Pops:

Only somewhat decent with math. He didn’t really get an education and instead learned on the go by book. Most of his math related knowledge revolves around ship related things as he was already on a pirate crew at a young age.

NEVER. FORGETS. A NAME. How he does this no one knows, but he ALWAYS can put a name to a face, even after only meeting them once.

He can sing pretty well, and because of his larger than life lung capacity he can sing for quite a while without having to take a breath.

Whitebeard isn’t against female pirates, but the courtesies from when he was younger, like “open a door for a lady” and “offer to take a ladies coat for her” are so ingrained in his mind that he prefers they stay out of the line of fire and protect them. Of course this doesn’t apply to every woman on the ship as they are capable fighters and he wouldn’t hold them back against their will.

Loves picking up and holding his children. If someone needs attention or is having a rough time he will pick them up and hold them close; Unless they’re too large in which case he’ll just hug them.

Marco:

Has made a bird joke about himself once and regrets it. Thatch will never let him live it down.

Whenever someone yells his name to get his attention there’s at least 5 people who yell out “polo” in response at all times.

Actually somewhat nearsighted and needs glasses but refuses to wear them.

When the crew was smaller he used to turn into his bird form and sleep on Pop’s shoulder. Now he won’t unless they’re in private.

He has a bad leg. Despite his healing abilities his right leg tends to ache after fights.

His neck acts the same in human form as it does in bird form when he’s not paying attention and coffee deprived. It’s kind of both hilarious AND unsettling.

Ace:

There’s a billboard in the dining hall to remind people to catch Ace before he face plants in his food during a narcoleptic episode. Do people listen to it? No, but it’s there.

Was shipwright enemy #1 during the 100 days of trying to kill Pops. It’s still joked about to this day.

Can actually fly with his fire but hasn’t trained with it enough for it to be viable.

He can control fire, but only to a certain extent. If there’s a cart on fire he can try and drag it to him, but a forest fire or a large house is impossible. His own fire can be put out easily by his will, but non-devil fruit related fires has a will of their own.

Had never seen a horse before and Haruta took advantage of that fact, convincing him they didn’t exist. Naturally, when he first saw one he freaked out and legit thought they were some mythical or extinct creature.

Jozu:

Loves hard candies because of the baffled and horrified expressions everyone gives him as he cracks through 3 jawbreakers like it’s nothing a la diamond teeth.

He’s well known for throwing himself over his family to protect them. In cases were the Moby is taking canon fire suddenly and there’s people too close to the railing he wont hesitant to yank them out of the way and turn himself into diamond to protect them.

When scared or startled he will freeze up like a deer in headlights. It would be funny if his fight or flight instinct didn’t kick in seconds later and now there’s a human shaped hole in the wall.

Wears tank tops and jeans on a daily basis. That armour is stuffy and you think he wears it 24/7? Hell no.

Nervous eater.

Thatch:

Has like 40 recipe books and knows which one has what recipe he wants.

His memory isn’t as impressive as Pops, but he KNOWS when he recognizes a face, even when he has no idea what their name is.

Keeps track of what you like and dislike religiously.

How did he get that scar? Who knows! It’s a different story each time

He just wants everyone to be happy and feel loved, which has led to him earning many scars both physically and emotionally.

Vista:

Sings in the shower 100%

GREAT during parties on islands! Not only does he have plenty of tricks to show but he can mix a damn good drink as well.

Would 100% be that one kid in drama club that takes things too far.

Scarily good actor and it’s a good thing he’s naturally honest. If he were to lie in your face you wouldn’t know unless he told you.

If you hear “Do you want to hear a story?” prepare for a roller coaster of emotions.

Blamenco:

WILL GIVE YOU THE BIGGEST HUG IN ALL THE LAND

Soft boi

His weight fluctuates with how much is in his pockets. If he’s near empty he’s much thinner and muscular looking, but carrying a lot and he has his signature lorge friend shape.

Can’t hold a living creature in his pockets for too long without it feeling too weird.

Doesn’t hold items for Haruta and Thatch all too often due to unknowingly hiding weapons of war (aka prank items)

Not a hoarder despite what one may think upon seeing his devil fruit

Rakuyo:

Macey is a demonic chain chomp and you can’t say otherwise.

He’s constantly added more details and layers to his outfits. He’s not into fashion, but he definitely has an eye for it.

Takes the quickest showers out of anyone

Has daggers under his clothes. Never unarmed.

Room is tediously cleaned except when he’s having a fit. You can always tell his mental state by the state of his room.

Namur:

Never hated humans like some fishman, but was very wary of them before meeting Pops.

His division has other fishman in it, but they mainly stay in the water and are rarely seen on the ship.

Any jokes about cannibalism because of the ‘fish’ side of fishman will result in a retort about him maybe being a cannibal of the ‘man’ side. He’s scared newbies half to death with this.

His room has been mistaken as a bathroom as he doesn’t have a bed or bathroom but instead a shallow pool with shells and coral from the sea.

Has fought to the death with other fishman to protect his family and has seen his family fight to the death with other humans for him. He’s not proud of it and hates how things get that far.

Blenheim:

Carries family around on his shoulders often because he can.

When he has a task he hyper focuses on it, even if it means he pulls an all nighter to finish.

Loves obstacle courses and if it weren’t for his immense size would probably complete Wipe Out or American Ninja Warrior in record time.

Is very indecisive about things outside of work. Knows EXACTLY what parts be needs to keep the ship going but has NO idea what the hell he wants for lunch.

May seem intimidating but is very much a teddy bear on the inside

Curiel:

“WHATEVER YOU DO DON’T FILL A SUPER BIG GULP CUP WITH FIVE HOUR ENERGY AND CHUG THE WHOLE THING”

Has a manic episode at least 3 times a week.

Colour blind. His goggles are tinted red because of a formula that allows him to see colour. They’re also a hybrid of eye protection and glasses.

Is covered in scars from both childhood and projects gone wrong, mainly on his back and legs.

Has invented a duck-themed weapon just so he can yell “DUCK” and it actually be a duck. A duck that is a bomb, that is.

Kingdew:

Has an AMAZING singing voice and can play the guitar. When the crew has parties he’s always nominated to play.

Has written songs before but is too shy to share them. Thatch stole one of his song sheets before and ended up in the nurse's room after a thorough asswhooping.

Soft boi x2

Is farsighted and needs glasses to read small print, but he doesn’t need them outside of that.

The rings that seemingly bolt his cape to his shoulders are actually there for medical reason.

Haruta:

Partially blind. Their eye colour isn’t like that for no reason. They aren’t fully blind however, and can still see distinct features, silhouettes, and some very watered down colour.

Because of their partial blindness Haruta actually has some of the strongest haki out of the whitebeard crew as they use it to navigate around. Started haki training under Marco and Izou and it grew very strong as they developed.

Learned their double sword technique from Vista, who is also their closest brother.

A complete lil shit. An absolute gremlin. 100% a memelord.

Has a hoard of assorted doo-dads. They have bags full of stuff that seemingly has no purpose, but they have it. Also has a very extensive bottle cap collection!

Atmos:

The jolly green giant.

Loves partying and drinking and likes to live in the moment.

Need a hug? Go to Atmos, he’ll hug you and let you cry it out while telling you some nice stories.

“MY HELMET IS STUCK” “Maybe you shouldn’t CHARGE LIKE AND ACTUAL BULL then”

Braids his beard when nervous.

Jiru:

Dyslexic. He was trying to fix this before he met Pops as he truly did want to be a doctor, but couldn’t because of his condition. When he met Pops, however, he not only gave him a chance, but assisted him in overcoming it.

Since his division is 85% nurses he knows ALL the ship gossip and rumors. And he WILL use it against you if you refuse treatment.

Goes stir crazy when not on an island for a long time. The boy needs to run free!

Is allergic to cats but he must pet them each time he sees one. Who cares if he’s sneezing for the next hour and can’t see, he got to pet that cute calico!

He’s tried to get his siblings to use shields, but so far only a handful do. A shield isn’t just for protection, it can also be used as a weapon and he wishes more people saw them as less of a cheap cop-out and more of a defensive tactic.

Fossa:

Is the quietest commander, not for shyness or lack of things to say, but because he prefers to plan his words carefully and watch those around him.

Works at a steady pace and encourages others to do so to lessen injury and stress.

Always has a cigar on him and a collection of lighters.

Pops may be their father but Fossa is very much the uncle of the crew and some see him as a second father figure.

The flaming sword was an accident but it’s a perfect intimidation weapon, especially for when he doesn’t actually feel like fighting.

Izou:

The designs he has on some of his guns were made by him and done by Fossa.

Has been accused of wearing a wig before because of how perfectly kept his hair is. The accuser was tied to the mast for 3 hours until the shipwrights could figure out how to undo the knots.

Got gossip? Izou already knows.

Will sell your soul for a cornchip if you piss him off badly enough.

Doesn’t wear kimono’s 24/7 despite what you may think. That’s his go-to outfit, yes, but his wardrobe is expansive, going from from crop tops and shorts to expensive suits and elaborate dresses and kimonos

[gt-is-pretty-cool]

A Gt Heist with Markiplier - Truth!

After a moment You timidly nod yes.

He looks surprised, almost impressed. “Youes gotta a lotta guts ta be telling me something like that…” he whips out a knife and holds it too you,  “Now spill those guts!!!!  Who’s Tryn to Break Out!?” you cross your arms and shake no. “What! No! I’m Not try’n ta get in on dis! Why would ju-“ You point at the keys, “Oh these? Oh no No NO, Youes got it all wrong, I’m taken These so Nobody ELSE kin break out! kahpeesh?” You nod again “Good. Now that we’s come to a understanding how abouts you! Tells Me! Who’s Breaking Out?”

You somehow manage to pull out a normal-size pic of Mark and look at it. (It’s a cute photo) and hand it to Yancy, “whats this…” he looks at the photo and grimaces, “this guy?! This is who youes try’n to get out? Yessh I can see why,  that there’s the kinda face that’d really start up trouble in here. (The pic you get back is a cursed image.) “I don’t normally do this sorta thing, but there’s  something bout this guy... I’ll help youes get this douche out” He holds out his hand to You “hop on!” You jump from the desk to his hand. He keeps it against his stomach. As he turns there is a whip cut, now he’s walking down a hallway, “Heh, You might wanna keep Youes’s head down for this part.” You duck down behind his fingers, just as ‘chef’ walks by and growls threateningly. You keep out of sight until you are placed on the other side of the bars in the cell.

You turn to look up at Yancy. “listen, I like youes style Tiny. Make a Good honest thief!  Now normally I’d ask if you’d wanna be part of the family, but… we’s already got a Tiny…” he laughs “be too confusing,” You nod two tinies would be confusing, “but if anything wit dis guy don’t work out,” He rubs the back of his neck and smiles “Our cell doors always open yah hear…” you nod, “good, Now you go get yer buddy out!”

As You turn Mark suddenly falls out of the bed. Yancy has disappeared. “Hey Hey! You’re back! Oh and You have the Key!” the key is ripped away from your hands, Mark looms above you. Grinning at the keys, you wave trying to get back his attention. “what?! Oh OH right! Let’s get you back to normal and we are out of Here!...” Mark points the device at you and then frowns, “Ah, Oh, I’m…not sure how it uh,...works?” He stares down “but that’s OK! Uh, lehme juuuust...” He flips some switches, it feels like he’s pretending to know what he’s doing “Annnd there we go! shooting you again should make you bigger! Oh don’t give me That Look, I Was an Engineer! Common, What do you not? Listen…Pretty sure this will Work. I went to school for this! common!"

"You trust Me….Right?"

  Let’s Get Large / Let’s Get Lorge

“i went to school for this” ok Mark whatever, Let’s get LORGE