#looks like shit but the effort matters
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did i pick gog version just so i could do this? no~
#sherlock holmes the awakened#looks like shit but the effort matters#matches my shco 'gaylock and his imaginary bf'
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new year new calne u know how it is!!!!
#calne ca#hatsune miku#VOCALOID#cw: body horror#<- Heed That Shit I Am Not Fucking With You Lot#cw: nudity#kinda idk its probably humanoid enough to be recognized#and this time I keep most of her skin colored too. which is an executive decision I stick by no matter what anybody will say to me#I wanted her to feel like a bug covered in human skin. which is one step away from calne's whole deal. but also kind of still is?#this one feels a lot further from calne than any calne redesigns Ive done so far... but she is in there I believe it#and also this body plan is good enough that I'd have done it no matter how far from calne I thought it to be lol#the little bit of fabric I could work in here was my effort to pull this back to the source visually lol. had a Lot of troubles clothing he#mostly with the skirt bc well. look at her. where would u begin to put that on#uestion of the day is she insectoid or arachnid or a beautiful special secret third thing? fight and kill in the comments about it below#(dont actually do that. Ive got a normal ball peen hammer and I will be using it)
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old woman yuri on @magicmooshka's template because we're getting sloane back in less than a week and im so fucking excited. i missed her
#yippieee yay. lesbinabs#i put zero effort into the armor because I Ain't Doing Allat 🙏#destiny 2#oc: seaweed 22#oc: zayn li#sloane#deputy commander sloane#sloane destiny#art#oc x canon#my art#wlw#this looks like shit because its 4 am and i rushed it but it's the feeling that matters#the feeling is lesbianism
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#excuse me while i have a very selfish rant in the tags because i've been thinking about it for a while now and i need to get it out#i debated if posting about it or not but there's literally nobody who actually gets what i'm about to say because it's about good omens#and the only good omens people in my life are here on tumblr dkjfhgdg#but i've been feeling really conflicted about this whole situation (as i said... selfish rant)#i am not sure still how comfortable i am about happily engaging with the show and the fandom#not that there's anything wrong with still enjoying it but I MYSELF feel a bit icky. it's been tainted. my enjoyment of it isn't the same#yes it's still a story that's very dear to me and the cast is very dear to me and i am excited for the story's end#but it also bring on horrible thoughts of course because it reminds me of that fucking bastard so it's not like everything is just happines#and what's really rotting my brain right now is the fan animatic i was making... i always planned to come back to it#but then everything happened and now it's not something i want to dedicate so much time an effort to#because it comes with a very dark veil over it... but on the other hand i was incredibly proud of it and i was really REALLY excited#to finish it and share it with the fandom that's so wonderfully dear to me...#so i'm really REALLY struggling to accept both types of feelings right now... feelings that should be mutually exclusive but sadly aren't#one thing that fills me with so much joy also makes me feel like absolute shit at the same time#i very much doubt i'll ever finish and post that animatic now... maybe in the future i will try my hand at a different project#but that also makes me so sad because of the effort and love and pride that went into it already... it just feels like a reminder that#we also fell for the lies... and as i said VERY selfish rant... of course i'm not the victim here. i am nobody#but the feelings are there and it doesn't matter if i ignore them or think i shouldn't be feeling them... they're not gonna go away#so while i can accept that i'm not a victim in this situation and that nothing horrible happened to me... i can still be disappointed right#anyways that's my rant... i will have to look at a piece of art that i poured my heart into and just lock it in a drawer forever#while a veil of horribleness covers everything that has to do with good omens forever...#and of course the reminder that real people have suffered an absolute nightmare of a situation that i could never even begin to imagine#so like... yeah... i'm having a lovely afternoon lol#angel talks#personal
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i'm a very don't tolerate bullshit kind of person and I respect and expect it so much when other people are real and straight up with me anyways whatever I say stems from my own thoughts and I cannot lie to you and tell you to do something I think is stupid if you ask for advice. anyways an acquaintance of mine who majored in English unless you want to work in primary school for a pay of barely 700 dollars complained how her parents want her to get a masters degree and she's thinking about getting one in marketing or something similar and then later on spreading into tech saying how she can work as a data analyst and I literally almost laughed out loud like it's absolutely insane how little university life prepares us for the future and how absolutely useless it is that you have university graduates here thinking they can work a job that requires a degree in either IT or economy as someone who read and talked about books for grades like please be so serious right now. I'm not upset with her for thinking this is possible just the general society for letting these young people down by telling them every career option is valid and it doesn't really matter what you study in university because it does
#in a general scheme of things it doesn't matter what you study in university when u study useless shit and never get a chance to work#a job related to that#but people who majored in medicine#mathematics engineering biology physics etc like you dont hear them talk about how studies don't actually matter bc they're working jobs#they studied for#adding law onto it as well#like we really need less people in humanities I'm not saying we need no people in humanities#humanities are really important but we need LESS people in them#and we also need less people in universities in general#go learn a skill you can actually use to make money off of in the real word we need electricians and people fixing shit around the house#we need people making ceramic or wooden floors we need carpenters#we dont need more people majoring in English abeg#the society and the school system is failing the younger generations so much by affirming their ideas of what the world looks like#because a highschooler cannot know whats best for them in the long run and we need to aid them#and i wish someone told me this before I went to university I would've saved myself so much trouble and time#and im not complaining bc i genuinely have it so much better than at least like 50% of my ex classmates#i have an appartment#a job that pays me okay#a side hustle#a car even though its old#savings#a future plan#idea of what im going to do and where I'm going to end up#but if i had someone advise me from the beginning I would've saved so much time and effort
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you ever miss your comfort character so bad you gotta go outside about it
#idk i've been pretty stressed that's probably why i randomly got rly sad abt it#and by it i mean the uh. gestures vaguely at fandom i guess#either nobody's there or it feels like i'm not exactly welcome. or both! which tough shit i'mma take up the space regardless but like#this weird sense of elitism I get in a space that's built by and nurtured by people whose MO is 'caring a lot' is.. hm.. interesting#idk just got reminded this morning that some people view critique as a free pass to drag a creator through the mud#when what you SHOULD be doing is uplifting them so that they can improve and reach their maximum potential. you clown. you absolute buffoon#it wasn't targeted at me or anything it just made me so angry/sad. smad. i'm smad about it#i just get hit with a wave of what's the point. what's the fucking point nobody cares abt things made with passion for the love of the game#we don't have time/it's not good enough/it doesn't matter/it's been done better/why x when we have y#and you know what fair enough everyone's entitled to their own emotional responses of course.#if you think your opinion is reason enough to tear it down then we're gonna have to agree to disagree on that one i think#just keep in mind that you could have loved what they made. other people could have loved it. it could have changed something for someone.#i personally know artists and have worked with artists who have put so so much effort into making something work over and over and over#only to have no audience and get back up saying guys let's give this just one more try.#hell back in the day I was an accomplished writer kid who was told that you may be good but nobody gives a fuck#artists who use up all these resources just to bring something new into the world and nobody's looking. what's the point. what's the point#anyway. i'm gonna go wade through the snow for a bit maybe sink my bare hands into it you guys want anything#started the post thinkin abt my blorbos ending it crying putting my shoes on alright I'm going I'm GETTING the FRESH AIR fuck off#i'll be god once i've gotten a bottle of coke and some mozzarella sticks. wait am i pmsing. fuck#god i hate that i don't drink sometimes.
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okay how about this: lumateran self- (and outside) perception based around them as generally serious (unnecessarily so) and fundamentally honest (to a fault); in reality this truth is purposefully constructed artificially for the sake of 'peace', vs. lumateran (our predominant view) views of charynites as selfish, cowardly, liars, etc., only for something like 99% of characters we meet to just be normal people trying to make the best of a bad situation; official truths don't have the same presence & every man and his bloody dog knows at least half the real facts, even if they're left unspoken
#like okay. lumatere is far smaller & much more centralised‚ so it's much easier to pick a story and stick to it‚ whereas in charyn (despite#all efforts to the contrary) this is just generally unfeasible‚ so you get lies and half truths and the truth all just circulating out ther#but it does just kind of make lumaterans look like losers. because we read all that & think well shit mate. you believe everything your#government tells you? & tbh this is literally what they're trying to do in charyn at the end of the series (altho i suspect they will have#less success). + we see the way things are distorted when outside of lumatere's sphere of influence (which is basically just lumatere lol)#with simeon's story about the priestking's song or w/ever. but simeon is literally constructing the story it's just. different situations#idk. i think a lot of this is a matter of framing
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Metalheads who don't like/respect Babymetal bc their "look" isn't, what? Traditionally metal? are so cringe. Like bro it's an alternative music scene we're supposed to say FUCK tradition????? What's wrong w y'all... Embarrassing
And also they are missing out bc Babymetal fucking rules
#its like pol who are like punk is only if you look like *this* and im like. you are asking me to conform to a societal expectation? in PUNK?#like what. the fuck are you talking about. NON CONFORMITY CAN LOOK LIKE ANYTHING. THATS THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT OF NOT CONFORMING#yeah i dont always dress like a typical punk but thats bc the clothes tend to he fucking uncomfortable or a lot of work and i dont care#like why would i put so much effort into looking a certain way... in... a nonconforming alternative group... why would i conform... what#like the way you look doesnt fucking mean shit. a real punk is someone who actually fucking thinks and acts like a punk.#thats all that matters#punk ain't about how you look or causing random mayhem its a fucking. lifestyle. its a culture snd belief system about the world.#its about saying fuck you to the way things are if the way things are isnt fucking fair. its about community and taking care of your fellows#its about safety in numbers against a ruling power that wants people who are different to stop existing.#the mayhem is for a reason. its to say you cant fucking keep us down and if you try we WILL fight back. you cannot keep us down.#thats the POINT.#idk how my post about people being snobs about metal and missing out on good music bc of it turned into a rant about punk ideology but.#well. here we are. i have a tendency of going off on tangents in the tags.....#point is. trying to enforce a 'norm' in a non traditional alternative genre is fucking stupid and against the whole POINT of the thing#and i think it fucking DUMB that ppls get so caught up in appearances when its never been about that
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As a non-T trans guy, when strangers do the whole “errmmm ma’am? Sir? They?? I’m sorry what are your pronouns aaaa” thing I’m just going to stare at them blankly and say “she/her.” And watch them get wildly uncomfortable.
#because god forbid I’m just an androgynous looking woman#like I’m not. but they don’t know that#in your effort to be respectful you just made us all uncomfortable#you’re a stranger. it doesn’t matter. just assume your shit and move on with your day#I’m not going to lose my shit because 1 customer misgendered me#because it happens all fuckin day. I don’t care#txt
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So I've had no time to write today bc work etc etc but I've been thinking about it like All day and
I have chapter 17 all plotted out, and tbh could potentially write it in a matter of days, brain willing. It's finally back to Not action, which as fun as action is to write its also fucking Hard. So it'll be nice not having to agonize over the sound of a fucking chain (Twice) etc etc. Add in the fact that it's gonna be angsty as hell (angst is always the Easiest for me to write) & I rly think I could knock this one out quickly.
And the Great news is that. Examining the timeline and what I have planned...
Wolfwood is definitely arriving in chapter 18. And not at the end like I'd suspected. No, he's probably gonna be there towards the Start.
I've gotten through the two most difficult arcs to write for early ITNL, so the ball is really rolling now. We are Finally getting places...
#speculation nation#itnl shit#the sandsteamer and the legato & monev things were Important#and i wanted to capture them in ways that was exciting to read#and displayed the sorts of things vash is doing to Make Things Better (with varying levels of success)#plus the experience of his friendship with the girls growing... these arcs have been ESSENTIAL for the progression of their relationships#so yes early manga stuff isnt really applicable for the vw but this isnt ONLY a vw fic#it's an examination of ALL of vash's important relationships. like with the girls. and with his brother.#thats why i got the platonic tags too. They Matter.#so i dont regret how much time and effort ive spent on all this stuff#... that being said tho. im REALLY looking forward to when he finally comes in.#i wont really know what to do with myself i dont think.#itnl has been such an exploration of grief and longing. and then itll actually get to the NEW romance???#big if true. and it's Gonna be true soon...#so yea idk. im excited. im a little nervous too. just gonna try my best to make sure it keeps being good.#readers r so very nice. and i wanna give y'all what ur Really looking forward to...#soon. Soon.
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It's funny but also sad, how Clone Wars, a kids cartoon, managed to be more mature, have more depth of character, more moral depth and understand and show the horrors of war and the crushing pressure of being seen as the salvation of the world(/Galaxy) better than the Grishaverse, a YA series, also starring a teen female protagonist pushed facing a massive war and a chosen one (granted, CW had them as two different characters, but the point still stands).
#clone wars#shadow and bone#grishaverse#anti leigh bardugo#i guess#also atla#2000s kids cartoons were just bangers in general#I don't mean to sound like a boomer#but honestly#can you look at the quality of writing we get today and say it wasn't better in the early 2000s?#that shit holds up no matter how many times you watch it#modern media crumbles on the first watch if you forget to turn off your brain#like sure there were some plotholes and cringe#but i prefer cringe to the braindead low-effort entertainment meant for audience that has had their brain fried by tiktok#and can only understand things that are right in front of them#no hate to anyone who enjoys it#but be honest with yourself
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Ai art thing really has opened my eyes to people who love art because it was created by someone else with their time and effort and love and people who love art because pretty picture cool
#Nothing wrong with the latter btw i just took liking art for granted bc as an artist i tend to enjoy the passion and effort behind it#Moreso than i enjoy the subject matter which can be anything from a hyper realistic oil painting to a clay sculpture to an mspaint drawing#I love that human beings have an inherent drive to create and want to show a piece of how they view the world with everyone else...#But so many peoples attitude to ai is just Well it creates good pictures so why should i care#Not really giving a shit about the fact that all the machine is doing is taking decades of someones skills and throwing it back up#You arent looking at a machines skill youre looking at a cobbled together frankenstein monster of hundreds of different artists' skill#Which is why so much ai art is boring as hell. It's empty beyond Wowie pretty!!!#Genuinely moral arguments aside its made me realize how many people fucking hate artists for their skill#emf
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youtube
exene talking about the state of the world. the good stuff starts at eight minutes. or you can just read the transcript complete with the usual errors that accompany robot transcribed speech (the irony of which is not lost on me). maybe it's not about transhumanism and living forever (or maybe it is who knows), but there's definitely an agenda of surveillance and control at work which is designed to keep the powerful in power. cash rules everything around me and you will own nothing etc. the future is worse.
#google has helpfully flagged this as a 'conspiracy theory' which let me know it was definitely worth paying attention to#sometimes a conspiracy theory turns out to be flatearth-tier but anything those in control are putting effort into discrediting#concerns me and makes me look deeper. if they're going to the effort to control the discourse there's something there that#threatens them. anything google calls a conspiracy theory is worth a closer look. it often means someone has gotten too close to the truth.#she's brave to be talking about this shit they basically cancelled her and forced her to apologize for talking about how they want#to take our guns and the media is lying to you and stirring up fear so they can get away with passing gun control#like wtf leftists should be all about gun rights. a disarmed population is totally at the mercy of the state's authority#it's not very punk to surrender entirely to regimes in power and let the only people with guns be the police#like c'mon guys we need guns. and it's like drugs. they exist anyway. better they do so in broad daylight than in the shadows#they let adam curits talk about this stuff for some reason and no one calls him a conspiracy theorist idk why but there's a reason#i guess his stuff is not a threat to them bc it's dense and heady and seven hours long so the masses will never absorb it#ex punk rocker yelling about new world order in plain language monologues of digestible length is a much bigger threat#i swear there are secretly fifty people in control of everything and their entire aim is to make sure it stays that way no matter what#but it's really gross how obvious it's getting like the whole system just funnels money straight to the top and they don't even care#about hiding it anymore they're just doing it out in open and denying objective reality with confidence it's too much sometimes#i swear i can feel my grasp on reality deteriorating. it's as if there were a loud buzzing in the out of doors that was getting#louder every day and nobody ever said anything to acknowledge that it was real nobody talked about hearing the buzzing but it just#keeps getting louder and i'm finally like wtf is with this buzzing and everyone gets mad at me for shouting over their netflix show#that they weren't really enjoying in the first place. like no one is happy in the modern world. why can't we talk about why without#turning against each other. that's why doug saying 'maybe we're all the same' is such a big deal to me. anyone who is trying to unite us#is doing important work. that trump supporter is not the enemy. they are the victim just like you.
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when your jedi gf surprised you wearing your helmet that you’d left behind (you came back to look for it and in fact found it👀)
so anyway🥴 nanalo in her jedi days was not very a “by the jedi code” role model👀
rex’s helmet had no right to be so fucking complicated to draw
#are proportions off? yes#it’s ok#she’s hot#that’s what matters#drawing my ocs in little to nothing for their boyfriends?#looks like that’s my shit lately#my 10% effort city scape lol#my art#star wars#my oc#oc: nanalo bishop#milly draws#rex is very much flustered#he’s one lucky man😉😉
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look i love making sae be the one who's so in love and showering hajun with so much love and affection but it's much more fun to think that HE fell harder than her
#it's the she fell first he fell harder thing. gooodd hjs have such common dynamic the frustrating and infuriating type#like look at first she have a crush on him right but as a model. that girl is literally a moth she gets attracted by those with light#though at first she admires him as a model and knew him through toma- her kamioshi. though i think... she just starts admiring him a lot?#she literally went through a 'highschool crush' phase but late since she was like. at college 😭#observed him... wow he's a lot similar to her than she thought. that guy puts up a smile in front of strangers and keep people at a distanc#he looked... strangely alone. why? even though he have friends too. she saw herself in hajun and... didnt want to be like him#will she keep putting up a face too? will she keep lying to herself? and would that make her alone in the end as well? she didnt want that.#so shes like yknow what? let's be shameless. her friends had been so loving of her unconditionally.#she thought that they'll leave after highschool and yet... and yet they stayed. they keep approaching her.#and come to think of it... they're always the ones giving effort for her right? when it comes to planning for hang outs-#they're always the one to reach out. never her. shouldnt she return the favor then? love them as much as they love her#pour all her heart out. she used to do it- she can do it again. love people unconditionally without expecting anything from them.#surely this time it'd be different. surely it wont drain her. even if there's a chance they'll leave her- it doesnt matter now.#she knows she gave her everything and that's enough for her. maybe she'll feel better if she had realized this when she was a child...#but that's okay now! so for now! lesson learned: dont be hajun#but also sae. just have a different view of hajun in her head 😭??? like she admits she didnt really know hajun before but actually meeting#him must be so complicated for her lol like this guy used to be her crush! and she got to talk to him but holy shit he's lowkey an asshole😭#not even lowkey but he really is a bitch lmfaaooo so like. damn 'i forgot i used to have a crush on this guy like i used to like him???'#'in what way??? (his looks dont even deny it sweetie)' i think her crush on him in the past made her more snappy towards him now lmfao#like 'gooooddd i used to have a crush on THIS GUY??? that's making me piiisseedd' LMAAAOOO 😭😭#i genuinely have NOOOOO idea how they started having this dynamic but it's just. them lowkey insulting each other? not really INSULT insult#but rather bickering masked by politeness? like 💢^^) (^^💢 selfish ohime-sama vs black hearted prince#but the one who's usually losing here would be sae ngl and hajun's mostly the one being playful tho tbf they CAN calmly talk to each other#sometimes they just become competitive? sae herself is a competitive one at first it would be 'oho~ let's see how long he can keep this up~#to 'give up already!!!! my social battery isn't gonna last long!!!!!!!!' and hajun's just watching her lose it every time 😭😭#ah.... my absolutely pathetic daughter im so sorry..... when it comes to him she gets unreasonably annoyed. just who does he think he is?#and yet she can't even feel arrogant around him. she knows bae are on a different league than her. that's why despite being very friendly a#expressing her admiration towards them she still puts up a barrier around them? it's not that deep she have her own close friends#yumeshipping — hajusae [prri]
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I love how my parents are at a point where some nights they just don’t feel like eating, so they decide not to make anything and tell me I’m fending for myself like three times a week, but my dad also loves cooking so the other four days a week he wants to make a family meal and gets annoyed when other people don’t eat it, so I can’t plan my dinners until the night of every night when I discover whether I’m in charge or I’m eating what he’s cooking, which happens unpredictably and in a way where there’s never food that I want to make myself when they decide they’re not hungry that night
#like it’s already pretty late and I made myself dinner the past two nights#so I’m like surely tonight he’ll want to make smth. It’s a Friday that’s prime family dinner time#and I go downstairs bc I’m getting hungry and I’m like hey any plans for dinner#and he’s like nope. make yourself smth#but I’ve been home alone basically all week so I’ve already made pretty much every one of my go to meals#and ofc I didn’t know about this ahead of time bc they never decide until like 5pm that night#so it’s not even like I can try and whip up smth fancy and more high effort#bc ideally I’d like to still have time to like. shower and shit before bed#I don’t have time to plan and cook a meal at this point#I just wish it wasn’t so unpredictable#bc some nights too I’m like ‘damn I just sort feel like soup tonight’#and I go downstairs and my dad is making like. hand made noodles or whatever the fuck#but then I’ll also be left high and dry other nights when the pantry is looking bare and he’s not in the mood to whip up a batch of noodles#which is fair! I just wish they could figure it out in advance or tell me nights when they’re at some work thing#or are gonna be eating a big lunch and therefore won’t be hungry later or whatever. or vice versa if they have meal plans tell me so I know#but no matter how many times I suggest this they never do#so I’m left deciding if I want liptons soup for the fifth time in three days or pasta with butter
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