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future-ofthe-past · 3 years ago

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How to get motivated again

Just a disclaimer that these are things that work for me, and everyone is different. So, if these don't work for you, that's fine!

Watch studytok compilations

This always helps me because those tiktoks have a really cute aesthetic, they're all so organized that it makes me want to at least try to be more like that!

Analyse why you're not feeling motivated

Something that also helps me is thinking about what made me feel demotivated. Am I burnt out? Or do I not like that class? Is there something I don't understand that's blocking me from moving forward?

It makes me focus on what's wrong and how I can fix it. If I'm feeling burnt out, then I'll take at least a few hours to myself and then try again. Or if I'm hungry, I'll get myself something to eat or drink some water. And if what I need is a break, then I'll go for a walk with my dog or ask my mother if she needs me to run some errands or do some chores.

This also works in making me less anxious about falling behind or not studying enough, because it doesn't give me enough time and space to panic about those if I'm thinking about how to fix what's wrong!

Make a study tracker

Another thing that helped me a little has been making a study tracker. I simply took a small notebook I wasn't using, two 2mm markers (orange and pink), three highligthers in the same color (with the addition of coral to make a gradient), a 0.7mm pen (light brown) and some post-its and turned them into a study tracker/planner. I'll post a tour of it soon, maybe tomorrow!

And while it hasn't helped much yet, due to me feeling burnt out, it's really nice to look at, and helps me think about what I could achieve!

Listen to music

Recently, my parents got me a pair of bluetooth earbuds (probably because they were tired of me taking theirs, though). They have a nice noise reduction effect. That, paired with using some highly-curated playlists, has been helping me get in the mood for studying.

My recommandation is to use a mostly-instrumental playlist, because I usually find myself getting distracted by the lyrics. That way, it won't happen and I'll enjoy an hour or more (depending on how long the playlist is) of studying!

Keep in touch with friends

This goes without saying, but I noticed that most of the time, when I feel exceptionally gloomy it's because I haven't talked to or met up with my friends in at least two weeks! So, try contacting a friend you haven't talked to in a while and either chat or plan an hangout together!

Spend some time outdoors

Thankfully, I always have to get to campus a little early than I intend to do, even if I end up holed up in the library or in the lounge room to study instead of going to class. And now that spring is in full swing, I can do so outside!

My campus is small, but it has a lot of perks: one of them is that it's surrounded by greenery. It's got a yard between the two buildings, a terrace with some picnic tables (perfect if you want to eat lunch with your friends but also need to study!) and a lovely park, with a rail from which you can see a lot of the more historical parts of Viterbo.

If I feel a little tired and decide to take a break, I can always pack up and go read on one of the benches (my favorite one is right at the entrance, under a tree I think is an oak and next to a cherry tree. Now there's also a cute little patch of daisies in front of it, and it looks even more peaceful!), or sit under two of the trees in one of the corners or go watch the scenery and take a pics or two of the landscape!

Change location

Related to the last one, this is kind of obvious. Often, I focus better when at uni rather than at home. And with the weather improving, my friends and I are looking into when we can meet up to go study in one of the parks of our hometown. Sometimes, all you need to change your whole day is a change of scenery, especially in such nice weather!

#florambles #study tips #study motivation #studyspo #studyblr #university #myhoneststudyblr

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taking-thyme · 4 years ago

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Comforting Things for Bad Days

I made this list for myself, but I figured I'd share it in case anyone else may need it. It's just a simple guide of things that help when I'm upset, so if it helps you as well, I'm glad. Godspeed, everyone

🍜 Cooking food!! I was having a really shitty day awhile back, just feeling incredibly exhausted, and even after a nap it didn't seem to be getting much better. But then I made myself some Ramen and I just felt so much nicer than before. Even just boiling some water to get it started felt so fulfilling. Food is such a soulful thing, it never fails to make me feel better, especially if it's handmade. So go pick up some cucumber and slice it into bits, then throw together a salad while you’re at it! It’ll nourish your stomach and your soul. This also applies to baking too, of course! Some banana bread or brownies sure do sound good right now!

☕ Make yourself some tea. I find that Raspberry Tea is a personal favorite of mine, so I always make some when I really need it. Warm drinks in general are proven to make a person feel warmer and more pleasant too, so hot chocolate or whatever floats your boat is probably fine too. And, of course, you can never go wrong with water. It’s the only drink that can make you feel significantly better after one sip, so pour yourself a cool glass and enjoy.

🐉 Watch some really nice Animation. Like Studio Ghibli, or Moomins, or Cartoon Saloon. Or even something like Loving Vincent if you're in the artsy, melancholic mood for it. Rewatch Spirited Away or The Cat Returns while you’re at it! I don't really have a super solid explanation for this one, except that Animation makes me happy. It inspires me. So it should be a good and kind friend in those darker moments too!

🕹️ Play some video games! Much like Animation, I love me some video games, so when I'm feeling up to it they can be a good stress relief when needed. I find that Zelda games, Kirby's epic yarn, and other games like Undertale are especially good for this. Try and pick something that's not too high-octane action. Well, unless you're mad and need to take it out on some Bokoblins, of course. Then that is perfectly acceptable. As long as it helps you, you’re doing just fine.

🧵 Re-experience some old things you used to love! Visit that Japanese Market you used to love as a kid, or pull out your old stuffed animal and cuddle with them again. Research Diplodocus like you used to as a kid, watch Peter Pan again, and accept all the emotions and nostalgia that comes with seeing these things with new eyes. Don't judge if you get a bit teary eyed, that's normal. Feed your inner child for once, they've been getting awfully hungry lately.

📕 Sit down and read. Like actually, genuinely read. Modern life always seems so fast paced and crazy, it can be hard to remember the quieter moments in there too. Reading helps us remember them. Pick up that Encyclopedia of Spirits tome you got forever ago, or one of those Art and Concept books that you love so much. It'll nourish your soul, I promise.

🕰️ Take a Nap!! Exhaustion kills, quite literally in fact. So just curl up somewhere, and doze off. Set a timer for a twenty minute power nap, or sleep for 5 hours on a Thursday afternoon! There are no rules for how much sleep you're "allowed" to get, so if your body needs it, do it!

🧹 Clean!! When you’ve got the energy for it, cleaning is a great way to clear both your room and your mind. Break it down into steps. Start with a very small section of your space and clean it thoroughly, then move on to the next. You’ll have the whole room done before you know it! A messy room may be fun, but it also creates a chaotic energy that can throw you off, so it’s good to go through and organize every once in a while to clean the space and the energy there.

🌾 Nature! For the love of god, just go outside. It doesn’t matter where it is, as long as there’s grass and trees and greenery, you’re in the right place. There’s a reason why Houseplants are so important to people; Humans need that greenery for both our physical and mental health. Go listen to the birds, take a walk that leads to nowhere, go water some plants and trees while you’re at it! Take care of the world, and it’ll care for you back. Hell, you can even build a little shrine to some nature spirits or a tree, and start leaving offerings there! Take care of your life in the most literal sense! Home is where the heart is, after all.

✏️ Draw! Something, anything, when it’s in your head, draw it out! Or look back at your old drawings and admire them sometimes. Like that drawing of Princess Peach in the heart-shaped glasses, or that Capybara eating ramen that you made a while ago. Remember how much fun you had making those? Remember the pencil lead stains on the side of your hand? Let the emotions of that drawing come back and fill you up again. Let them comfort you, feel them, and then let them go. Drawing is nourishment for the heart, so it’s important to do sometimes.

💕 Be kind and do nice things for others. Write a letter or send an email to someone you haven’t seen in forever! Give someone a compliment and strike up a friendly conversation! Make something or do a chore or errand for the ones you love! Humans are sociable creatures by nature, that’s pretty much the only reason we’ve survived this long, so give in to your compassion and do nice things! By helping others, you’ll help yourself even more.

🧼 Take a Bath or Shower! Go all fancy with it too! I’m talking your favorite playlist, some candles if it’s dark enough, maybe some bubbles or an open window to smell the fresh breeze. Really get into it, but make sure nobody’s washing dishes or anything, so you can have all that nice, hot water to yourself. Getting clean and feeling clean will help cleanse your soul as well! Oh, and make sure to pick out new clothes afterwards. You’ve probably been wearing those for awhile now, plus new clothes help drive home the cleansing feeling that comes with a bath.

⛲ Pick or schedule something to look forward to! Take a small trip to somewhere you really wanna visit, or go swimming for a bit after work! Even if it’s just something small like a nap or a meal you’re really excited for, try and find motivation to get you through until then. Having something to look forward to makes the day more bearable, so try and find something like that everyday!

📬 Make something! Put together a recommendations list of all your favorite things, with short notes about why you like them, and why others should enjoy them too. Make some memes about something you really like, or an idea that’s been stuck in your head for forever. Pick up a hobby like animation, so you can finally see your own drawings come to life, like you’ve always dreamed! A pen can’t win a battle, but the sword can’t heal the heart.

🍶 Start a Collection! Choose an item you really like, and start trying to find them everywhere you go. It helps make trips more meaningful when you’re actually looking for something at those gift shops. How about a collection of Witchy-themed Books, or Letters and Notes from meaningful people? That sounds so nice, doesn’t it?

#fave #positivity #comfort #self care #guide #list

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strawberry-skies-xx · 4 years ago

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‹ 𝔰𝔥𝔦𝔣𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔥𝔲𝔢𝔰 ›

𝗐𝖼. 𝟣,𝟪𝟣𝟧 | 𝗍𝖺𝗀𝗌. 𝗆𝖺𝗋𝗍𝗂𝗇 𝖻𝗅𝖺𝖼𝗄𝗐𝗈𝗈𝖽 / 𝗃𝗈𝗇𝖺𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗇 𝗌𝗂𝗆𝗌, 𝗀𝖾𝗇𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝗇𝗈𝗇-𝖼𝗈𝗇𝖿𝗈𝗋𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗃𝗈𝗇, 𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿, 𝗀𝖾𝗇𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝗂𝖽𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗍𝗒, 𝗁𝖾/𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗒 𝗃𝗈𝗇, 𝗉𝗈𝗏 𝗆𝖺𝗋𝗍𝗂𝗇 𝖻𝗅𝖺𝖼𝗄𝗐𝗈𝗈𝖽

𝗌𝗎𝗆𝗆𝖺𝗋𝗒. 𝗆𝖺𝗋𝗍𝗂𝗇 𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗋𝗍𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝗂𝖼𝖾 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌 𝖺𝖻𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗃𝗈𝗇 𝖺𝖿𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖺𝗉𝗈𝖼𝖺𝗅𝗒𝗉𝗌𝖾.

𝗆𝖺𝗌𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍 | 𝖺𝗈𝟥

It starts with a ring.

A small ring, nothing special - a little thin gold band contrasted against Jon’s dark brown skin, with a small purple stone set in it, an amethyst. Martin doesn’t notice it until he’s, well, not dying or walking through fear dimensions, and once he does, he notices Jon doesn’t wear it all the time. He’d assume it was a sort of thing to wear with his clothing, to match it, but it doesn’t match all the time. It’s a random thing - sometimes Martin feels the warm metal bump against his hand for days at a time, sometimes Jon’s hands are bare for weeks before he wears it again. Martin doesn’t say anything, obviously - it’s not a huge deal, it’s nothing really, and if Jon wants to wear it, then he can wear it. It’s not Martin’s place to stop him in something like this.

And then it’s eyeliner.

Again, not a lot, nothing special, just a little bit lining the eyes. Martin thinks he sees the slightest bit of glitter one day, in a faint dusting of the lightest violet eyeshadow across Jon’s eyelids. He doesn’t say anything. Martin thinks he couldn’t care less.

Well… he does care. He thinks… it looks pretty, on Jon, the little line of narrow black along his eyes and the glitter flashing in the light occasionally. He almost wants to ask him to wear more, but ends up simply tallying up the days, admiring the ring and the eyeliner and eyeshadow on the few days Jon does wear it, sort of cherishing the days when Jon makes that decision. Or… whatever it is. Martin thinks he knows, because he’d been to several Pride parades before the world ended, but if that is the case, then it’s Jon’s place to come out to him. Martin definitely won’t push him into it.

It goes on like this for a few months, nearing half a year. Martin never says anything, but he does notice that when Jon does wear the eyeshadow and eyeliner, he goes a little bit heavier and more noticeable, and when he wears rings, he starts wearing necklaces too. One time, Martin finds Jon laying on the couch, head leaned back against the armrest, dressed in one of Martin’s oversized sweaters and jeans. His eyes are closed, the light of the lamp catching on the faintest glitter on his eyelids and reflecting off the gold of small rings on at least three of his long, thin fingers. There’s even an earring in one ear, a simple stud glittering gold, and his hair is fanned out against the couch. Martin can’t help but smile, adoring the sheer beauty of his boyfriend (who may not be his boyfriend, he considers) before leaving and letting Jon relax in whatever clothes and jewelry he wishes.

The third thing Martin sees is... well, he really didn’t mean to see the skirts. He’d been doing laundry, which he usually didn’t do - Jon didn’t like going out into town alone, so usually Jon did laundry and at-home chores while Martin went out for the shopping and such.

Except, this time, Martin’s doing laundry while Jon’s gone out for his own errands in town, and he’s holding a hanger covered in plastic, unzipped to reveal several long skirts hanging from it. There’s one that’s black and pleated, one that’s a light beige with a gold pattern shimmering across it, and a few in other colors that poke out from beneath. There’s only around five total, not a huge amount, but Martin feels like he’s stumbled onto something sacred. He’s been playing with the idea of Jon being something other than a man for months, but he didn’t want to figure it out by anyone other than Jon himself. If Jon doesn’t feel comfortable telling him himself, Martin shouldn’t know at all, as much as he wishes Jon would tell him, that he’d feel comfortable enough with Martin to do so.

He stares at the skirts for a second, taking a moment to process that his suspicions are more likely to be true than he thought, and then the door clicks.

Martin spins to see Jon walk in, staring down at a book in his hand apparently reading the summary. He looks up, mouth opening to say something, and freezes at the hanger still held in Martin’s hand, unzipped partway.

There’s a long, tense silence. Martin makes a snap decision. “Jon,” he says, and gives a warm smile. He hangs the skirts back up and walks over - the light from the window glitters on Jon’s eyeshadow. “I made biscuits, if you’d like them.” He starts to walk past Jon, ignoring the slight frown on his face, keeping his expression and body language nothing more than neutral and as warm as he’s ever been with Jon.

“They’re chocolate chip,” he continues. Jon follows him, quiet. Martin can almost imagine the studying look he’s getting behind his back, sharp brown eyes flicking over him. He keeps walking.

Finally he turns to Jon, with the exact studying look he was imagining, and offers a biscuit from the tray he’s stood beside. “They’re fresh from about twenty minutes ago. I did them while the laundry was in.”

Jon is quiet, still studying Martin. Martin gives a returning smile, sees Jon glance down at the biscuit, and then concede. His mouth tilts in a slight smile, he takes the biscuit, and meets Martin’s eyes with warmth now as he takes a bite. “Thank you.”

Martin smiles more. “Thought you’d like them.”

The peace lasts four hours.

Martin stands in the kitchen making tea. He’d thought that Jon had let it go, had seen that Martin wasn’t going to push him to talk about it and had decided not to talk about it. Maybe he’d even figured out that Martin knew full well what the skirts meant and that he’d accepted it, but Martin also knew how much trauma Jon had been through and that he wasn’t going to come to that conclusion easily.

Jon’s bare footsteps sound lightly against the floor, and then he’s standing beside Martin, leaning with his hip against the counter. “Martin,” he says.

Martin looks up. “What?” he asks, entirely innocently despite the weight of the situation rapidly rising.

Jon is silent, simply staring at him. He raises one eyebrow.

It’s a long moment before Martin sighs and turns to face him fully. “What, Jon? I saw the skirts, and I’ve seen the rest of it - the makeup, the jewelry - for months now. I’m not going to leave you just for that. I don’t know the full situation, and I’m not going to push you into telling me, but the skirts are a part of something bigger that is part of you. And I love you. That’s not going to change.”

Martin glances away, giving a small smile. “To be entirely honest, it- well, it looks pretty on you, Jon. The light catches on the eyeshadow really nicely sometimes, and the gold rings are nice too. I like it.”

“They,” Jon says suddenly. Martin’s eyes flick towards him; Jon looks a little like a deer caught in headlights, eyes widening a little at the word. He shifts against the counter, looking away, clearly having no idea how to handle this situation.

“What?” Martin asks.

“I-I’m a they. Sometimes,” Jon says quietly. “I-it sort of, depends. On how I feel that day.”

“Is today one of those days?”

Jon looks up quickly at Martin, hesitating a little.

Martin tries an experimental touch, reaching out to put his hand on Jon’s hip, taking a step forward. Jon does nothing against it, gaze entirely caught on Martin, and then he speaks finally. “Yes. Sort of. I-it’s complicated. I’m still a he. Just- also not?”

Martin considers, and then looks up at Jon. “Well, this is a side of you that I don’t know,” he starts. Jon tilts his head. “I want to get to know it. If you’ll let me,” Martin says softly, stepping forward again so he’s just barely pressed against Jon.

Jon stands frozen, apparently shocked by this turn of events. Martin doesn’t push him, letting him adjust to the fact that his fears of being scorned for being genderfluid aren’t true, and simply waits.

Finally, it comes. Jon relaxes, brown eyes filling with warmth and fondness, and his hand comes up to Martin’s on his hip until he can lace their fingers together. “Okay,” he says, and starts to turn to the couch to walk towards it with Martin.

Martin smiles. “Right now, what do you want me to call you?” he asks first.

Jon pauses. “They,” they say finally, sitting down on the couch next to Martin.

“And that changes, along with what you wear.”

Jon nods. “When I wear skirts, it’s usually- I call it a ‘they’ day, though it ranges, I guess? The eyeliner and eyeshadow- it’s, I’m not sure how to explain it, but it’s like I just want to be a little more feminine without the actual shift? It’s always there, though the desire to want to be called they varies almost daily.” They lean back and sigh, closing their eyes. “It’s really complex.”

Martin rubs his thumb along one of the rings on Jon’s fingers. “That’s fine. I’m here to listen, if you want to explain.”

Jon nods. “I do. You’re-“ they give a little laugh, “-you’re possibly the only person I want to fully explain to, that I trust to understand.”

“Well,” Martin says, smiling, “you have me right here, and I’ll try to understand as best I can.”

Jon smiles, opening their eyes. “Thank you, Martin.”

“It’s you, Jon, and I love you,” he replies softly, gaze warm.

Jon closes their eyes again, then they open them and sit up, and Martin listens as they start explaining.

It’s hours later that they’ve finished a movie and Jon has predictably fallen asleep in Martin’s lap, curled up like a cat. Basic routine - carry them to bed, except the difference in the routine is this time, Martin takes a cloth from the bathroom and gently wipes off the eyeshadow and eyeliner, and he takes the rings off as well, setting them on the nightstand. Jon curls up contentedly against Martin when he’s finally in bed and underneath the blankets.

“I love you,” Martin says softly, studying the planes of Jon’s face in the moonlight as he lays facing them. “ All of you.”

There’s a quiet hum after a few moments. “I know,” Jon mumbles.

Martin feels Jon’s hand against his under the covers, feels their fingers lace with his. There’s a slight metal bump, a ring Martin must’ve missed when he was himself half-asleep, and he spends the time thumbing the smooth warmth of it until he falls asleep next to Jon, limbs tangled with theirs.

#tma #the magnus archives #jonmartin #jmart #tma fic

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ficstogo · 6 years ago

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Christmas With You

Pairing: John x Reader

Summary: You spend your first christmas with John.

Word Count: 2875

Warnings: None

A/N: What was suppose to be a fic at first I turned this headcannon to what you see here now. Sorry for the mix up! I need to learn how to read things over.

Exams were Exams. You were on your last one for the day and you were happy it was the easiest one you’ve taken before your holiday break officially began. You didn’t care much for the holidays all too much, the older you got the less magic it had. You didn’t hate it but you didn’t care for it either. You were mainly looking forward to spring and the warm weather to come back. That and the end of the semester. Happy that you were on the last question, you smiled at your freedom. Walking out the door, you see John waiting with his books in his hand and all snuggled up in a winter coat. It made him look cute, like a small child.

“Hi.” You said as you give him a peck on his lips.

“Hi.” Walking out, holding your hand with a smile, he asks, “How’d you think you did?”

“Pretty sure I passed. It wasn’t too hard of an exam.” You said with a smile to return.

“Well how about we get some coffee to celebrate.” He responded back as you gave a nod. Even if there was nothing to celebrate, it was a ritual to go to the coffee shop whenever the both of you got done with classes. It was your guys thing even before you two started dating about a month ago.

As relaxed as two people can be, you and John spent the time conversing with each other about whatever came to the top of your heads, no matter how ridiculous. The conversation then turned to the reason why everyone was out for classes. Christmas.

“So what are you up to for Krimble?” John asks as he takes a cautious sip of his refill.

“Uh, nothing really. Sleep in and all. My parents are actually away on holiday now that I’m in school so, no plans really.” You explained to him. Although you would like to spend the holidays with them, you were actually happy that they finally had some time to spend together alone.

John looked at you with a bit of concern. He didn’t like the idea that you would spend the holidays on your own but he was going to be visiting his parents also. “Oh, well I’m going to be with my parents to help them set up a small christmas party but I’d really like it if you’d come along to it, if you want.”

You only smiled at his kindness as you went to hold his hand. “I’m sure it’d be a fun time if I went.” You didn’t think too much of it. You already met his parents beforehand but as a friend. This would be the first time you would see them as his girlfriend but it didn’t worry you that much. They did like you, which you appreciated and they were always so kind to you, a second family you could say.

During the days leading up to the party, You spent your time doing the usual errands and going to work while John did the same coming in and out of your apartment to spend time or have dinner with you. There was that day you hadn’t seen John. He rang you up a little late since he went to help his parents. He sounded so tired but he wanted to talk to you before he went to bed for you him to go out tomorrow.

“I really wish I brought you along today, really. There was a street fair happening and there were so many knick knacks and paintings and just so many things I wish you’d seen…” He sighed out in content. You could only imagine his sweet smile as he was telling you about his day. You could honestly fall asleep to the sound of his voice, always so soft in your ears. Gentle as though he’s never shouted a day in his life.

As he went on about his day while you listened to his sweet voice, he brought up the plan for tomorrow. “So I was thinking maybe we’d stop and have lunch and then go round my parents house to help them set up. Julia should be there a little later.”

“And what do you suppose we should have for lunch then, love?” You smirked as you asked.

“Of course the usual! A great big lobster with some oysters! Maybe even snails! Fancy enough for you, dove?”

“Oh very!” You laughed. His sarcasm and sense of humor is what made you swoon over him, even when you first met him. After the laughter has subsided, you then ask “What time should I expect you dear?”

“Sometime around noon. We’re not expected at a specific time, so we’ll just goof around beforehand.”

After things were settled and planned, morning seemed to come by in a flash. You were up and ready to take on the day. The day of christmas eve seemed so busy as you and John walked around town noticing all the last minute shoppers. The two of you only enjoyed your time together before heading over to the Deacon household, where there was a whirlwind of activity going on in there, and being the good samaritans that you are, helped with these chores.

Soon evening came around, you helped Julia and her mom with making dinner while tidying everything up. John went out with his father to finish up some errands and making sure the guests found their way to their residence.

The night was filled with laughter, stories, family, friends, and of course, some alcohol. Although it was a fun time for you all, you only found yourself speaking to either Julia or their parents as all the other guests were unfamiliar faces. John on the other hand, had to be the good son and speak with all the guests, such as his uncles and cousins as well as some work friends and neighbors. It was a bit hectic to say the least but fun over all. At times you find yourself talking to John in the kitchen before he gets dragged out to see another aunt from a far away land, but as the night dwindled down, you found yourselves to each other once more as you huddled up against his side while his arm was slung around your shoulder, his fingers playing at the tips of your hair.

You realized the time and how the both of you were beginning to be in the state of fatigue. Everyone else seemed to still have some energy as they kept at talking to each other, eating, and drinking. Lifting John up by his arm, he was ready to fall asleep. “It’s about that time we get home now, don’t you think so love?” He only nodded his head as his eyes were trying to keep open. You went to go find John’s family to let them know you both were heading out, giving them your thanks and goodbyes, you both found yourselves out in the cold. Walking a couple blocks with the both of you looking as if you were connected to the hip, you headed to the direction where most of the taxis would drive by.

The feeling of his hand holding on to yours while his head rested on top of yours as a temporary pillow only made you smile. Your poor boy was tipsy and tired and he only wanted to sleep. It was your mission now to get you both home and tuck him in for a good night’s rest.

You were happy that there was at least one taxi out this late at night for this time of the month because you didn’t know how long you were able to hold to John. You only relished on to the feeling of John snuggled up so close to you with his head still on top of yours as you rode all the way to his apartment. These little moments were what you really liked to think about and to live in.

Once you both arrived to John’s apartment, you fished for his keys in his pockets as he chuckles, saying, “Getting a little handsy there bean?”

“Come off it John, you know that’s for tomorrow morning.” You replied with a wink, unlocking his apartment door. He mainly spent time at your place as it was a little more spacious than his, at least by a few units. He also felt more at home there with you then he ever felt here by himself. And he’s lived in his apartment for a good amount of time. The thought crossed his mind to express that feeling but he thought that that should be saved for the morning as well.

The last time you were at John’s apartment was right before he asked you out. Both studying in his small living area as he left all the necessities to do so at home. A fond memory it is as it was out of the blue yet it was bound to come up at some point. Everything was the same since then. Neat, orderly, clean yet bare. There was nothing there to really indicate that there was actually someone living here. What made you chuckle though was the small plastic christmas tree that was on the coffee table with lights twinkling around it. It was cute in the sense that that was definitely a John thing to do. It was small gesture yet it showed how he was very much into the christmas spirit.

You two once again dropped yourselves on his couch, a comfortable silence taking over as your heads leaned against each other. You only had a smile on your face as you made sure to save this to memory bank. Taking a peek at John, you see that his eyes are closed. You leaned in to kiss his cheek and asked, “Got any hot chocolate?”

“Yes. In the cabinet left of the sink.”

“Would you like a cuppa?”

“Yes please, love.” He says in a small polite demeanor, as if he were a child.

Getting up, you took a second to look at John again, brushing his hair to the side of his forehead while he smiled at the touch. In the cabinets were packets of hot chocolate as you had the kettle going on the stove. With your back against the counter and arms crossed, you looked at the sight before you. All small and dimlitted, quiet and peaceful. For some reason you wanted to save this particular memory in your storage system as well. Nothing was going on but you could only assume that you wanted to save the atmosphere, the way everything felt in this exact moment.

Heading to John, you nudge him a bit as he was close to being knocked out and passed him his hot chocolate. Sitting up straight, he takes the mug from you and asks, “I hope you had a good time. I prayed that nothing embarrassing happened while you were there. Julie told me nothing did but, you know…” He chuckled.

You smiled at him taking your spot next to him. It was cute how he still worried about his family embarrassing him even though many of those occurrences have already happened. Baby pictures, 11 year old girlfriends from grade school, and so on. What else could possibly embarrass him that you hadn’t already witnessed? “No, I had a good time. I just didn’t know most of the guests there.”

“Neither did I and the funny thing is that the majority of them are family.” he chuckled taking a sip from his mug. You two talked about the events of today until you finished your mugs of hot chocolate. Looking up at the clock that faced you both, you knew you two were going to sleep in later than usual as it was nearing 1:30 in the morning.

The night ends with his arms wrapped around you and your head against his chest. His breathing soothes you into a deeper sleep while his head rests on top of yours once again, loving the feeling of someone holding onto him throughout the night.

Before you know it, morning takes over and you find yourself staring at one of the walls at your side of the bed. You blink a few times as you try to recollect the events from last night as well as what today is. You were excited about today as you quietly got off the bed and headed into the living you room where you left your bag to retrieve John’s present. Before you could even take it out, you hear John calling out your name in his raspy and groggy voice. “I’ll be right in!” you say in a tired yet happy tone.

Slipping back in the room, you see John with his back facing you while he stretched out his limbs. Taking a seat next to him, he raises an eyebrow at the package you have in your hands. You have a wide smile as you landed the package right on his lap, only for him to look down, realizing what the box is. “Seems that father Christmas has left me a gift!”

You scoff at his comment and say, “Ppff, father Christmas, it’s me you should be thanking!”

“Oh, I’m sorry love! Of course!” He says as he leans in to kiss your cheek. He then looks back down at your gift and starts to unravel what’s inside. His eyes go wide as he sees the gift that you got him. He’s in shock to see that you got him a brand new camera, obviously a replacement for his broken one. “Jesus! Y/N, this must of cost you all your savings! You didn’t have to get me this!”

“Deaky! Of course I had to get it! This was the one thing I was really looking forward to and I wanted to get the best for you. You deserve it.” John could feel his heart constraint a bit. He sees how the devotion and care in your eyes and it only made him question how lucky he is to find someone like you. You were too sweet to him and terribly caring. He knew from there how thoughtful you were and attentive you are to his needs. He only wished that he could be up to par with you as you deserved much more than him.

John leans in to give you a peck on your lips as he looks back down to his camera with heated cheeks. “Thank you love. I think it’s perfect, especially for what’s coming next.” He then gets up to his dresser that’s nearby and pulls out a dark blue velvet box and starts handing it to you but when you reach for it, he pulls away. You look up to him in confusion when he explains, “Now I don’t want to hear any “you shouldn’t have”s because if we’re being honest, your gift might’ve costed a lot more than mines.” He then hands you back the box as you look at him in wonderment. Inside contained a beautifully crafted wired necklace where it wraps around a crystal of your favorite color. You’re taken back at the fact that he had gotten you such a wonderful gift.

He takes back his seat as he looks down at the necklace in your hand. “Remember how I went to my parents to help them with some errands while there was also a street fair going on? Well I might’ve asked this nice lady to make a gift for my special girl and, well, I think she did a right job, don’t you?” You turn to look at him, feeling some tears pricking at the corner of your eyes. You wrapped your arms around his neck while burying your head into his neck. You were so happy in that moment, knowing that out of all the men that you have dated or would have possibly dated, he was the one that made you the absolute happiest. If anything, he was far better than any gift you had ever received and you never wanted to lose him. His face heats up once more as he feels you kiss his neck and ask him to put it on you. You blink away the small amount of tears that were piling up in your eyes and hand John the necklace. Sweeping your hair to the side to clasp your necklace, he kisses your shoulder while rubbing them as well and then lays his chin on top.

“Merry christmas dear.I hope there are many more to come…”

You turn to wrap your arms around him again saying “I’ll bet money on that. I can’t possibly imagine that this is the last christmas I’ll spend with you.” John gives you the biggest smile you’ve ever seen as he plants a passionate kiss to your lips. His heart swelled at hearing you say that. He loves where his relationship with you is and where it’s going and the fact that you felt this wouldn’t be the last of you two not only eased his mind, but made him think of future with you.

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vestedbeauty · 4 years ago

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How to Deal When You're Not Comfortable With Silence

New Post has been published on https://vestedbeauty.com/how-to-deal-when-youre-not-comfortable-with-silence/

How to Deal When You're Not Comfortable With Silence

Family life is loud. Even if the family’s not the yelling kind. There’s always someone talking, moving around, microwaving popcorn, playing with the dog, or flushing a toilet. For many moms, the craving for just a minute (okay, an hour or two) of silence and solitude becomes more like a desperate need.

“Hello darkness, my old friend

I’ve come to talk with you again

Because a vision softly creeping

Left its seeds while I was sleeping

And the vision that was planted in my brain

Still remains

Within the sound of silence”

Simon & Garfunkel

(But I like this cover by Disturbed way better!)

Especially for introverts who rely on alone time to recharge. We get how the psychological warfare tactic of blasting loud music non-stop could make a human go nuts.

I have no idea how it is for extraverts. (Please let me know!)

Empty Nest, Quiet Nest

It’s those little things that form the soundtrack of life with kids still in the nest. When the kids move out, mid-lifers look forward to being able to eat what we want, watch what we want, resigning from our taxi-driving job, and walking around naked at home (like that really happens – okay, hubby just read that and demonstrated!).

We know we’ll miss seeing and talking with them every day, like, a lot. But for many of us, it’s a bit of a shock to finally have the silence we frequently craved for so many years.

In some ways, it’s a gift – the silence leaves space for deeper concentration, creativity, and sort of a meditative state. But silence can also leave us feeling lonely, anxious, and longing for the old days. Even the introverts among us. We need both. The proportions differ from person to person and time to time, of course. Some of us are naturally better suited to tolerate – even embrace – silence.

But if it’s not in your nature to love a bit of silence, what do you do?

Check Out the Gifts Silence Offers

Silence can do some pretty cool stuff for our health, in the right doses. It lowers blood pressure, boosts our immunity, helps the brain to grow new cells in the hippocampus region (the part that helps us learn, remember, and regulate our emotions), and decreases stress. It doesn’t take a whole lot of time for silence to work its magic. Just a couple of minutes can improve blood circulation and drop blood pressure.

Nice for the body, but how about your mind and mood?

Silence can help you concentrate, create, and calm you down. If you’re into personal development, you may have discovered that silence helps you become more aware of what’s going on in your mind. Some also say that practicing silence helps them be more patient.

Where it gets really interesting is when scientists start experimenting with silence. Some cool findings:

Noise raises our cortisol and adrenaline levels. Feeling stressed out? Silence may be the answer.

Silence even beats music when it comes to relaxing.

If you can’t sleep at night, try adding some silence to your day and kiss insomnia goodnight.

So, maybe there’s something to sitting in silence.

Give Peace a Chance

When I was working out my morning routine, I discovered that spending about an hour outside worked wonders for my mood and focus. It also boosted my creativity for the day. (Kind of important as a writer!) But when I started, I stuck my earpods in my ears and then tackled my outside project of the day.

Oops.

Sure, the music made mulching feel like dancing, so it was way more fun.

But when I experimented with silence instead, it was even better. Granted, outdoors isn’t silent. There are birds, crickets, dogs, chickens, and traffic sounds filling my ears. But they’re not loud enough to drown out my train of thought.

I enjoyed it so much that I started trying silence on my road trips to see the kids. Before, I’d always have so many podcasts to listen to that I’d put them on 1.5x speed. Or, I’d plow through an audiobook (and take the long way if I needed a few more minutes to finish). But in the silence, I am with me. My thoughts are clear, loud, and easy to capture. (I sometimes scribble in a notebook – eyes still on the road… makes for interesting interpretations later!)

How to Get Comfortable with Silence

Start small. If you feel anxious in silence, it might be because it seems interminable. If you feel trapped or out of control, that’s anything but peaceful. But if you practice silence on purpose, on your own terms, it’s a whole different experience.

Try silence in your car. Next time you’re out running an errand, turn the music off and just let your mind roam. You don’t have to try to enter some deep meditative state or anything (probably not safe, anyway!). Just let your thoughts go where they want to go.

Build silence into a routine. Choose a chore, task, or some delightful moment you enjoy every day. Try doing it silently and see what happens. If you forget and slip out of silence, just go back to it when you remember.

Practice silence with a partner. Ha. No, that doesn’t mean give them the silent treatment! It means both of you agreeing to be silent together. Maybe take a walk, sit and watch the sunrise, or do some yard work near each other.

Cut back on filler noise. I know a lot of people who say they need background noise all the time. If the TV or Spotify isn’t running constantly, they feel anxious. They don’t have to pay attention to the background sound; they just need it on. I’m sure it’s true – the brain gets used to a certain environment and changing it can lead to feeling really uneasy. But it’s worth experimenting with adding bits of silence in. Again, if you’re cutting the noise on purpose and you’re in control, that should eliminate a lot of the anxiety you might feel.

In Midlife, More than Ever

I suspect our lives may grow quieter and quieter as we get older. Sure, we still cause a ruckus when we’re with friends and family, telling stories and laughing until our sides hurt. But we come home to quieter homes now than we did when the kids were home. Some of us live alone (and I guess, at some point, we all will).

The ultimate in good mental health is to enjoy our own company and to be comfortable in our own skin. That can take some practice. Now’s the time to start. Not only are there huge benefits to reap by enjoying periods of silence now, but having the power to enjoy silence could make a big difference later in our lives.

#Silence

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adventureswithmisslola-blog · 6 years ago

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Superwoman: A Mother Who Still Dreams

Hello, my fellow dreamers! "Your influence as a mother is powerful. Don't waste it. Little eyes are watching you". -Anonymous I've learned over the years that every working mom is a superwoman. But, do you still make time to reflect on the things you desire to do besides being a mother? Motherhood is unarguably is the most important job on the planet! I was a single mother for many years. And, I must say it's very hard but also very rewarding. With the child support hardly ever coming, I had to rely on myself to keep body and soul together to keep a roof over my sons’ heads. I worked in the restaurant industry for 20 years. I loved it; however, it's very hard work. Working 5 days a week and spending my off days carting laundry to the laundromat, going grocery shopping, running to the bank and various other errands left me with no time to think about what I really wanted to do with my life. Motherhood under the best of circumstance is challenging and all time-consuming. However, your children will lead by your example, so it's important to spend quality time with them especially when they are young. But, you also have to take some time out for yourself to focus on what you might like for your future. This will teach your children to focus on a good work ethic or to focus on that special talent they have. When I think of a superwoman, my niece, Michelle comes to mind. She and her husband are raising 5 children. She works outside the home, homeschools her children, plans crafts and baking days, and keeps the family ship running. The kids have chores, as everyone has to pitch in to make things work. Yet, she still finds time once a week to play the drums with the band they have. Best drummer chick I've seen! My nephew plays the electric guitar, her husband sings and also plays the guitar, and they have 2 friends who also participate. I call this her "weekly dream". After a long week of responsibility, this is her time to do something she loves. Jonathan, her husband, also built a production studio in their basement. His ultimate dream is to produce music. Many mothers find their identities fading away because they feel like they are JUST a wife and a mother. You don't have to give up on your life's goals and passions when you decide to take on a family. You have to set aside time to accomplish your goals. The Internet has so many sites that can allow you to work from your home whether it's starting a parenting blog, or starting an online craft store like Etsy to sell your special brand of creativity. Find something that resonates with you and start! Sometimes the thing you fear the most can turn out to be something that is one of your greatest gifts and strengths. You have to be brave enough to put yourself out there, punch fear in the face and do it scared time and time again! Include your children in your dream. Would you like to go back to school and work on your Ph.D.? Maybe you need flashcards with word definitions; have your children decorated the cards. Maybe your talent is painting. Give your children their own paint and brushes and make it a family time. There is no shame in asking for a little bit of extra help so that you can do something you love. Maybe you have an in-home cake decorating business, and you need a babysitter to watch the kids while you are in the next room decorating cakes. Do it! Realize it's going to take time to see viable, sustainable income from whatever your gift is. It's easy to look at someone and only see their success. What you don't see is that their success has only come from standing on a pile of failures, like me. My worst mistake was giving up on my book. I put it in a drawer and never picked up a pen again until this year. It feels amazing to be writing again! From putting hours into a project and only have a handful of people buy it. This has happened to me. People rolling their eyes at you at an idea you want to start, yes, this has happened to me, too. Remember there is no such thing as overnight success. Don't give up on your ideas and dreams, even when you are experiencing setbacks and failures. Keep learning, keep experimenting, keep getting back up, and try again. The end result might look different from what you initially envisioned, but you'll never find out if you quit. It's no secret that becoming a mother changes your identity in an AMAZING way! But, don't let this new title take away from all your passions and desires. You can still be an amazing mom while still working hard towards whatever your goal might be. Your children's eyes are watching you. You are the most important role model they will ever have. So, I think of it this way: What if your goals and dreams inspire your children to follow whatever path they may choose. The possibilities are endless! It will inspire them one day to strive to the same level of excellence that you've achieved by never giving up in the face of aggravation and failures. You will be teaching them to pursue what they love and to stay focused on their goals in life. You will be teaching them success is hard work and there will be failures along the way, however, we must pick ourselves back up and keep moving —forward to stay true to yourself, yet always be open to learning new things. Teach them to understand to achieve anything in life requires faith, hard work, belief in yourself, a vision, determination, and dedication. Life is full of beauty and the possibilities are endless. Notice it. Smell the rain, feel the wind, the warmth of the sun, and lose yourself in this magnificent universe. Follow your passion, be prepared to work hard, but also be prepared for the failures along the way. Above all, teach your children that they can be anything they want to be, but it takes sacrifice and patience, and don't let anyone limit your goals and dreams. All mothers are superwomen in my eyes. But, by pursuing your goals and passions, you will teach your children that through hard work, believing in yourself, and perseverance, you can live out whatever dreams you have. "Let her sleep; For when she wakes She will move mountains." -William Shakespeare Read the full article

#amotherwhodreams #superwoman

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purplesurveys · 8 years ago

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[Pause: Currently] What style is your hair in?  It’s starting to become really hot in the afternoon so I’ve put it in a ponytail.

What’re you wearing?  My outfit yesterday, a turtleneck and shorts. I’m too lazy to change.

What’s the weather like outside?  No wind, just sun. It’s making me miserable. GIVE ME RAIN.

What time is it?  2:23 PM as of this typing.

Who, if anyone, is in the room with you?  I’m alone right now. Not my choice, but that’s what I’m stuck with.

What’s on your mind?  That I have a midterm on Tuesday and should really get to studying now lol

What make-up, if any, are you wearing?  I’ve stopped wearing makeup regularly. Come to think of it, I only really got into makeup because I wanted to look pretty in front of my ex…then I was able to ask her out again and eventually got too lazy to put in effort to use makeup anymore.

What month is it?  It’s March! …and getting so much closer to the end of the semester. I’m excited.

[Fast Forward: Future] What career do you want?  I want something that wouldn’t give me the draining feeling I’ve been getting in school for a while now. I don’t want a prison, that’s all.

What age do you think you’ll get married by?  I always wanted to get married by the time I reach my late 20’s. I don’t know about that now, though.

What about having kids?  Still around the same age, ideally. But then again I also always want my money to myself and be able to travel, be independent, and not keep a close eye on a kid 24/7, so I’m a little torn.

What age do you plan on moving out?  21-22.

Can you see yourself moving away from here and if so, to where?  Yeah, I’m not completely ignoring a move to another country. It’s possible. But I don’t mind ending up still in the Philippines, albeit in a different city. In the end all I want, honestly, is to cut off ties with my mother.

Do you think you’ll marry your current significant other?  It’s ridiculously early to ask…for now I’m the one entirely okay about marriage; excited about the idea, even. My girlfriend is rather closed off to it. But I do think it’s way too early to bring up a conversation like that and I’m not going to be sitting her down to talk about it any time soon.

Do you know what the weather is supposed to be like for the rest of the week?  Not specifically, but I know it’s only going to be warmer from here.

What tattoos and/or piercings do you want in the future?  I wanted so many tattoos. I wanted to put on my thigh, ankle, wrist, at the back of my neck, my fingers, etc. until watching my mom get tattooed totally destroyed that goal of mine. I turn into a wuss at the general concept of anything piercing my body, so I had to say goodbye to piercings too :c I wanted to get a lip ring so bad.

Do you want any cosmetic surgery sometime down the line, if you had money for it?  No. Imagine all the pizza I can buy instead.

In ten years, how old will you be and where do you see yourself?  I’ll be 29 and Gab and I have a lovely little place to call home. We’ll also have a golden retriever we’ve named Theo and hopefully I’m so much happier with life by then.

[Rewind: Past] When’s the last time you took a shower?  Yesterday.

What was the last text message you sent?  "I miss you"

What did you do yesterday?  I went to my one class for Friday running on two hours of sleep because I worked nearly all night for a news report project that I soon found out wasn’t needed until next week, so that fucking bummed me out. I drove to Gabie’s early so I could sleep in my car, then I drove her home where I stayed for a bit. We played games on each other’s phone till the sun set, then decided we wanted to watch a movie. I eventually realized we weren’t going to end up watching anything because we were only critiquing EACH AND EVERY FILM that we skimmed through on her hard drive like the film nerds that we are. We’re pretty great.

How old were you when you first started dating?  I was 16.

When was the last time you saw your best friend?  I saw Gab yesterday, and Angela I last saw about three weeks ago, at a friend’s debut.

What was your first word?  No clue. My parents didn’t care enough to track it.

What’s your earliest memory?  When I was three, my parents set up a kid’s tent in mine and my sister’s room to do pretend camping. That’s my earliest one and can’t remember anything before that.

Do you remember what you were doing twelve hours ago?  Passed out in bed. That was 3:04 AM.

Three years ago, did you dress the same way you do now?  Not really, but it’s not drastically different from what I wear today. 2014 I was obsessed with Audrey Hepburn, so all I ever wore out were little black dresses, summer dresses, skirts, flats, etc. Right now I can’t say my style is super defined because I would wear anything, as long as they match and make me look cute ha.

How old were you when your first younger sibling was born, assuming you’re not the youngest or an only child?  I was two.

[Eject: Stuff You Wish Didn’t Happen] How did your first serious breakup go?  A mess. I was so mad and was even made madder by the fact that she didn’t seem to be the least bit sorry for what happened at first. There was zero interaction made up for with endless subtweeting, and it was just silent rage all around. I wrote her a letter some time after expressing everything that was in my heart and head and that seemed to slap all the sense right back to her. We are now dating again though so it’s all goodski HAHAHA

TW// Have you ever had an eating disorder?  Nope.

TW// Have you ever cut yourself?  I have, yeah.

TW// Have you ever thought about or attempted suicide?  Yes, and yes.

What was the last thing you cried about?  I get triggered by the smallest things, so when I was asked to run errands in a very rushed manner this morning, I comletely lost it and had a good cry in the car.

What’s one thing that’s stressing you out like crazy right now? All the requirements being asked of me by all my classes.

Have you ever had a horrible teacher and/or boss?  It couldn’t get any worse than my history prof last semester.

The first time you dumped someone, was it hard?  I’ve never dumped anybody.

[Record: Awesomeness That Deserves to be Recorded on Video Forever] When was the last time you laughed really hard and what was it about?  Yesterday morning! Gab and I were having breakfast at Jollibee when I started playing with the filters on her Snapchat. We got to the face swapping option and quickly filled the area with our noise because we were laughing sooooo fucking much.

What was the last funny movie you saw?  No clue. I haven’t seen anything new in months.

The last time you ate something really delicious, what was it?  A goddamn plate of risotto. IT NEVER FAILS

The last time you got your paycheck, how much was it and were you satisfied with it?  None of that just yet. Hopefully soon!!!

How exactly did you and your best friend meet?  Gab in 7th grade, Angela in the 1st.

What was the last compliment you received?  I was told I smelled nice.

What’s one thing you wish you could relive just for one day? I wish I could replay the night I went to my WWE show, but with better eyeglasses because I saw dirt shit that night.

[Play: From This Moment On] Now that you’re done, what will you do?  Maybe look for something to eat. Then take another survey.

What’s on your agenda for today?  Surveys surveys surveys then hopefully get the drive to start studying for my soc sci midterm.

What’s your next meal going to be? I’m not sure. I’m craving for pasta though ;(

Will you change your clothes later in the day?  Maybe change out of this annoying uncomfortable turtleneck, yeah.

Who do you plan on seeing today?  My dog.

Are you going to take another survey afterwards?  Maybe.

Is the weather supposed to stay this way all day or will it change?  Yup. The sun never goes away here, unfortunately.

Do you have any chores you need to do?  I did all of them this morning.

Do you have work later in the day?  Hahahayeahdon'tremindmeplzsurveysaresupposedtobemtgreatescapefromthingsplzplzplz.

What about any homework to do?  SAME THING

#surveys #survey

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timclymer · 5 years ago

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Conserving Your Energy Using the 4 P’s

Everyone has experienced the challenge of trying to conserve enough energy to get the everyday things done on our to do list and when you have arthritis it can really complicate the situation by limiting the amount of energy you have and interfering with your ability to do those everyday activities, work, and enjoying that precious time with your family and friends. But, there are some pretty simple things you can do everyday of your life to help you use your energy wisely. These energy-saving techniques are what is called the 4 “P’s”: pacing, planning, prioritizing, and positioning.

Pacing: It’s the key to helping you maintaining your energy levels all day long. You will take a look at your activities and break them down into baby steps with alternating rest periods. Think about the steps you need to take to complete a task or activity, and then try to work through them taking your time and at your own speed. Don’t rush it! Rushing is stressful even though you will get done much faster and in the end you would have used more energy then you really needed to. Allow yourself plenty of time to get the task done and don’t forget to take several rest periods in between. You may just find that you actually have more energy for later. The right way to pace yourself is to learn to listen to your body, that way your able to determine just what level of activity works for you. If you do too much activity you will end up excessively fatigued or in too much pain, yet too little can cause you to loose muscle strength and will undo any conditioning you may already have. Learning just how much you can do before you get tired and stopping to rest will help you to keep from depleting your energy supply completely and you’ll end up with some in reserve. Learning to rest your mind as well as your body is equally important and if you’re worrying about what you have to do next you will probably not be getting the full benefits of your rest time. You should try to keep your activities and rest times consistent and automatic so that you will always stay within your energy limits. Keeping a journal or diary, documenting your energy levels at different times in your day will help you to see when you feel your best and when you feel your energy levels going down. You will want to write down the activity you were doing when you began to feel your energy starting to go down. This helps you to learn what activities you can tolerate and you’ll begin to get ideas on some simple changes you can make in your daily routine to help you keep up your energy levels. The first thing you will want to do is to break down the task or activity into baby steps. For instance: Let’s say that today is laundry day, you can break it down like this; step 1- gather all the laundry; step 2 – separate it into different loads; step 3 – washing and drying; step 4 – folding and hanging up clothes and putting them away. By doing your laundry this way you will be able to rest after you have gathered up, separated and put the first load in to be washed and then dried. Then while the second load is washing and drying you can fold the first load, you see, sitting doesn’t require near as much energy as standing does. Also, simple changes, like delegating chores to other members of your family can leave you with more energy for other daily tasks.

Planning: You need effective planning for proper pacing. You should look ahead a day, a few days or even a week so that you can develop some kind of a strategy to get your activities done. Make a to-do list of the things you want to get done or do, that can be accomplished in a day so that you can plan the best time to do each activity. If mornings are your best time then you should probably plan your more strenuous activities for time or if you have more energy after a nap, you might want to schedule that time to run your errands or do work activities that require you to be more physical or for you to think a little bit more. But, you will still need to plan your rest time sometime during the day so that you can replenish your energy levels. Using a calendar or a planner can help you to schedule your activities over the week so that you aren’t doing all you strenuous work in the same day. The first thing to do is to look at all the things you want to do or need to accomplish in a week, and sort of grade them according to how much energy it take to get each done, like low, medium and high. The second thing is to spread the high energy activities over the week so you don’t do too many of them in one day and end up so exhausted that it takes you several days to get regain your energy levels back. Remember, that doing too many high energy draining activities in one day can lead to an arthritis or fibromyalgia flare that can take several day or several weeks to get over. When you keep a list of the things you want to accomplish, you’ll be able to keep track of what you have already done and what you have left to do. This will give you a sense of accomplishment that is positive when you take a look back at just what you were able to accomplish. Also, remember that you will need to be somewhat flexible with your schedule because it will allow you to do activities that are enjoyable and that you might otherwise have missed out on because you were to exhausted to do them.

Prioritizing: Learning to decide what you should do first, prioritizing, can be of a great help when you are trying to conserve energy. It can also be one of the most challenging to master because it requires you to take a really close look at all you work, household, leisure and recreational activities and then decide which ones are the most important and necessary and even enjoyable to you. Here are some questions you may want to ask yourself when you’re trying to decide which activities are more important to you.

What is the most important priorities to me in my life? My job, household activities, or maybe my family and friends?

Where do I want to direct my energy to? What’s most important to me?

How can I get the best balance between work and play in my life?

How can I get more rest and relaxation times into my day that will help me to regain my energy supplies.

Can I make my daily chores more simplified so that I have more energy leftover at the end of my day to do the things I enjoy?

Is there anything that I really have to do that can’t be delegated out to someone else or that someone else can perhaps help me with.

You will want to prioritize the most important activities and delegate those that are less important to someone else in your family. Delegating can be difficult if you are the type of person who has always had the attitude that you must do it all by yourself, but if you approach it in a more positive way by realizing that you are helping yourself to conserve your energy levels, it will make it easier. Who knows, you may actually be helping others in your household or even in your work place, by teaching them to accept responsibility. When you network with family, friends, and neighbors to help you complete the tasks at hand, like carpooling your kids to activities, then you just might be helping them to learn to conserve their energy also.

Positioning: When you take a look at how you position your body or your body mechanics, you might get other ideas on how to conserve your energy. When you watch how you position yourself as you are going through your day, you will be able to identify some ways to do your daily chores using less energy which can help you to protect your joints from any excess strain. Listed below are a few examples of techniques you can introduce into your daily routine to help you conserve your energy:

Sitting rather standing because sitting takes less energy from your body and reduces stress on your leg joints. By using a shower stool while showering or sitting to get dressed may help to reduce the energy you would otherwise use to do these activities.

If you must stand to accomplish a task, and to ease the stress and fatigue on your back, try propping one foot on a step-stool or on the inside of a lower cabinet.

Good posture while you are sitting and standing will help to relieve any fatigue on your neck, back and shoulders. This involves keeping your ears lined up with your shoulders and your shoulders lined up with your hips, and make sure that your head isn’t leaning too far forward.

Organizing your work areas so that everything you need is within reach can help you to avoid any unnecessary reaching, bending and stooping. Having duplicate items around the house can help to eliminate any unnecessary trips between rooms. A cart that you have organized with the items you will need or a light weight organizer basket, or a storage bin that you can carry items in, are other ways that can help you to avoid any unnecessary reaching, bending, and stooping.

Having your work surfaces at the proper height for you can help to promote good posture and reduce the fatigue that comes from poor posture. You will want your work surface to be just at your elbow height and when you are sitting it should be just below your elbow height.

To simplify your daily activities try using devices that can assist you in doing those activities. Such items as reachers, long-handled sponges, brushes, and dusters, and jar openers, are just to name a few, that can help you when you are trying to conserve your energy.

Lastly, you will need to breath during your activities. I know that sounds kind of weird, but there is a proper way to breath so that you can maintain your energy levels and help you to relax. To start with, pay attention to how you’re breathing and if your chest is moving up and down when you breath then you are breathing wrong, it shouldn’t be moving at all. You want your belly area to move instead. When you breath in, your belly area should expand and as you let out the breath your belly area should compress or go in. Breath in through your nose and out through your mouth very slowly. For you women out there, think about when you were in labor with your children and every time you had a contraction you were told to breath in right before it and out during it. It’s the same concept. If you practice this method of breathing and pay attention to how you are breathing during your activities, it will soon become natural and it will become a habit.

Occupational therapist are professionals that are trained to help you make these and other changes in your the way you do your daily task. If you have arthritis an occupational therapist can recommend techniques and devices that can help to protect your joints from any excess strain. They are also able to help you change your work and your home to make them more manageable. Your doctor can recommend an occupational therapist if you decide that you need this kind of help.

If you take the time to think about all the thing you want to do or need to do, it can be a bit overwhelming. But, if you can accept the fact that you will have some difficulties that are manageable, ahead of you, then you will begin to make the changes in your daily life that can help you to conserve your energy. Remember that the changes you make will, in the long run, improve your quality of life and you will feel that you are in control of your energy resources.

Source by Angela L. Carter

from Home Solutions Forev https://homesolutionsforev.com/conserving-your-energy-using-the-4-ps/ via Home Solutions on WordPress from Home Solutions FOREV https://homesolutionsforev.tumblr.com/post/188192190535 via Tim Clymer on Wordpress

#Home Solutions FOREV

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homesolutionsforev · 5 years ago

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Conserving Your Energy Using the 4 P’s

What is the most important priorities to me in my life? My job, household activities, or maybe my family and friends?

Where do I want to direct my energy to? What’s most important to me?

How can I get the best balance between work and play in my life?

How can I get more rest and relaxation times into my day that will help me to regain my energy supplies.

Can I make my daily chores more simplified so that I have more energy leftover at the end of my day to do the things I enjoy?

Is there anything that I really have to do that can’t be delegated out to someone else or that someone else can perhaps help me with.

If you must stand to accomplish a task, and to ease the stress and fatigue on your back, try propping one foot on a step-stool or on the inside of a lower cabinet.

Source by Angela L. Carter

from Home Solutions Forev https://homesolutionsforev.com/conserving-your-energy-using-the-4-ps/ via Home Solutions on WordPress

#Home Solutions Forev

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hauntedcollectorartisanelf · 7 years ago

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Why are you in my class? You are so struggling to keep up with the lessons even though your attendance is perfect. You struggle to speak in a way that others can understand you. You slaughter the words making conversation nearly impossible. So please explain to me why I shouldn't just boot you out and give your space to someone capable of learning.

Yep, that's the conversation I just had with my instructor/tutor. I drew a blank. I couldn't figure out how to respond to this. The description is so true that I am ashamed of myself. It managed to hit the play button on the inner tape player of mine of my past teachers and parents... The never-ending loop of their remarks such as God you are such a failure, no good, you are showing the world what scum you can be, I’ve never seen anyone more thickheaded and stupid than you are. These adults would say to me every time I did an assignment that was less than perfect.

Maybe if I put this out there you will understand and help me word it so my tutor will understand.

Let me tell you why I sit down and I attempt to learn a language that isn't my own. Why no matter how much I struggle to get through the assignments my butts in the chair, I'm doing vocab flash cards, rosetta stone, Duolingo, trying to find a way to grasp the language. wishing there was a spell or I could get my hands on whatever gadget star trek people had to be able to speak to the others and understand for communication. Cause I so need it.

See I was exposed to the languages of other cultures for most of my life. It wasn't unusual for me to hear someone speak English and then switch to their home tongue in order to speak to their elders and then back to English. I marveled at the speed and ease these individuals had in communicating. Me I was left out of the conversation because I didn't know the home language and what I would be coached to say would be slaughtered so badly that I'd be patted on the head. Eventually, I stopped trying to communicate unless someone could act as an intermediary.

I did get a rough understanding of the languages I was exposed to so I could sometimes puzzle out something that was said to me but most of the time that was highly embarrassing and frustrating. Still, I looked forward to hearing the words spoken and communicating with them. A few families took pity on me and created a picture book of sorts for when I did the shopping errands and no translator was available. One thing I always got right is that I knew how to sit in the presence of the elders and be quiet. A few looked forward to my presence as it broke the lonely hours of their days even though the silence was deafening. I recall how much I looked forward to it as for that moment I knew I was safe and sometimes I would even get a drink and a snack out of it. Occasionally I would get a story or tale that made the time sitting so much better even if I couldn’t understand a word that was being said. I loved to hear the various languages spoken. I could listen for hours not caring that I didn’t have a clue what was being said. If I was able to do a chore within earshot I made sure to do it as slowly as possible just to get to hear the women speak.

Eventually over a course of several months of being quick to volunteer for a chore or errand and being willing to sit quietly it led to me being included in other things like evening meals, or my favorite activity of all baking and candy making, I may not have known what the yummy treat was called or why certain things were done as they were but I knew how to grease the tins and pans, how to sift the flour, how to stir something at the hot stove, how to peel the potatoes and apples and scrape the veggies and how to wash a dish. I learned a lot but not nearly as much as I could have if I’d only been capable of learning the language. I regret this. Not just because I have a box of letters from that time that I can’t read. I have kept them because I know it must have been important for them to write their words down for me and to give them to me before I left. I had hoped to be smart enough to learn how to at least read the letters or find someone to translate them for me. Sadly its been so long I’m not sure I even remember who gave me which letter and what possible language it might have been written in.

I did manage to read a couple of little notes written to me from a family who had come from Mexico. I was able to make out a few of the words though the ink had faded and the paper was starting to break down. It’s been touching to think that these strangers whom I vaguely remember (they used to have a lot of skeletons and decorated skulls at Halloween) thought to write to me.

I never felt right about expecting everyone to speak the same language especially my language of American English. I never understood the elders' strict rule to only speak English in the home. It seemed rather dumb to me who was stuck in the land of English and dreamed of mastering the older languages that I heard spoken around me as I went from place to place.

I loved it when during the summer All Nations week came. Each day was devoted to an entire country. There would be booths with the delicacies from the old world. clothing brought over would be worn, music from the old world would be played and dances danced. The best part is those who could would then freely speak their preferred language. Those who hid shuttered away because of not being able to grasp English freely strutted up and down the streets calling to neighbors, friends, family in rusty voices and their mutual language. It was bloody marvelous. I loved hearing Polish, Italian, Greek, Dutch, Czechoslovakian, Russian, French, Irish Gaelic, Scotch Gaelic, German, and occasionally from the tourists Japanese and Korean,

While there wasn't a day set aside for the Spanish speakers, they would come sometimes out of curiosity to see what all the hubbub was about. It is on one of these moments that cemented my desire to learn Spanish.

The local elementary was turned into a mini museum. People who had brought items with them when they immigrated here would bring them in to be displayed for everyone to see. It was during one of my daily visits to these rooms that I had to use the restroom. In there was one of the migrant workers with a child who was probably between 12-15 months. She was trying to figure out the taps to wash the sticky candy from the child's face while also help a slightly older girl get paper toweling from the dispenser. She couldn't understand the two other women's instructions on how to operate the paper towel dispenser. It was the type where you had to push in a button and turn the handle several times to get the paper out. The woman clearly couldn't read the English word push. The two white women were getting rather irritated and upset at the lack of understanding of their instructions. I felt so helpless because to get involved would have been to cross these two Christian women and I was still too short to reach the dispenser myself. So I just went and got my hands soaped and rinsed and dried them on my clothes. Well, I'm never been sure what happened next but the hot water tap was on and running full tilt and the little girl was reaching for it. Her mother spotted the danger and went to stop her and in doing so the baby's barefoot got into the hot water. I remember the shriek of pain, the horror in the woman's eyes and the weird distortion of the skin. I bolted out the bathroom and screamed for help. Thankfully some of the women who had just got off of being the room attendant for the displays came and one of them knew Spanish. So they were able to communicate with the woman.

I got in a lot of trouble for shrieking for help and running in the hallway and for that I don't regret. But I have totally regretted not being able to communicate that day and definitely not standing up to the two women. I definitely an F for good conduct on that day.

Maybe that's harsh for a child just out of Kindergarten to feel like she screwed up and someone got hurt because of it but it's how I have felt. It's my shameful bit that I try to bury in the closet.

That's why my butts in the chair and I'm working on learning Spanish. Yes, I took it in high school but that was eons ago. The only useful stuff I got from it was how to order a beer and back my friend in a fight. Nothing practical that would help if I was in a situation like I was when I was a small child.

Part of my issue with what was adding to my struggle to speak it was having no clue and being exposed to Spanish as spoken in Spain and Spanish as spoken in Mexico. Mainly because the two students who led our class were from two different countries and neither could speak to the other. Which left me highly confused but was an excellent excuse to regularly blow up the lab in Chemistry.

Still, I push on hoping one day my brain will click and I can at least be fluent in understanding if I can't be a fluent coherent speaker of it. While I am not around the migrant workers like I was in my youth and what little I was around them didn't allow for much conversation let alone lessons, I do hope to be able to speak a little with them. At least I hope that they will see that I respect their language and do desire to converse with them even as I slaughter what I can say.

As I've said above I've been exposed to other languages and would like to learn them but I doubt it will ever come to be. As the window is rapidly closing on my being able to learn them.

I'd love to learn German, Greek, Russian, Czechkoslavician, Dutch, Norwegian, Italian, Crow, Cheyenne, Black Foot, Apache, Comanche, Navajo, Japanese, Chinese, Korean, and Vietmenise, ASL, . . . and maybe if there's time and my brain can handle it French.

As for Greek... I do possibly have a chance where this could be practical. However, it's been 10 yrs and I still can't make heads or tails of it. My friend says she'll work with me as soon as things calm down as it's her family's language and I'd like to be able to speak to the few elders left from my childhood but I doubt things will calm down enough for her to work with me considering she's studying to become a doctor.

As for the Japanese/Chinese/Korean/Vietmenise, I want to learn but I'm very gun shy about attempting it. I tried to once with some very encouraging teachers and full-on immersion but alas I tried to pay a compliment to one and put the wrong vowelish sound with the accent in the wrong place and it came out highly inappropriate and I've never looked back. Sadly the ones I would most likely converse in these with are all gone. I miss them dearly. Again I just want to be respectful and to be able to figure out what I'm getting or what I want to get when I am allowed to travel where there are actual stores and pharmacies with everything in one of these languages. And most of all I'd like to be able to say thank you and maybe just maybe read the messages in the cards and the few letters I have from the dearest family back when we were close.

I no longer have anyone who speaks Czechkoslavician so maybe I should cross that one off. Again it would be nice to be able to read the letters that were given to me by Tootsie

Now ASL that's more of a major refresher and do over. It's been a very long time since I've had to use it. I still remember a few signs and of course the alphabet. I am able to communicate via the alphabet and of course pen and paper. But I also tend to use the version of sign that I was taught and used the most frequently.

See my stepfather would go to the VA hospitals for various treatment. Sometimes I would escape and look for my Dad. Because of this, I made friends with some of the guys who seemed to live in the hospitals. It’s where I developed a strong love of institutional chocolate pudding and billiards.

One of the men was a crabby grumpus. He couldn't talk much as his face was severely scarred and he only had one arm/hand. left. he would use the alphabet to spell out his wants/needs to certain staff. I was horribly fascinated by his rapid one hand ballet. I would sit mesmerized by his movements and unabashedly stare and watch him often for hours. I don't know how it happened but one day I was given a card with the sign alphabet on it. My stepfather took it upon himself to beat it into my head. When I could make all the letters and be fairly accurate with reading them I thought I would show my friends a new skill I’d gained. I thought it might earn me an extra chocolate pudding. So I really looked forward to the next time we made the trip to the VA hospital.

I again crept in to watch the man do his one hand ballet. I gave away my position when I too loudly giggled at something he said. He signed something rather rude to me and the nurse said she saw my eyes light up and a huge grin split my face ear to ear and I finger spelled a word back. She remembers it as me telling him no and not nice. I don't recall what I signed back it's just too long ago. but it was the start of a beautiful friendship.

He gradually over the years taught me quite a few signs all in a one-handed way. Soon I became extremely versed and fluent in his form of sign. We'd go to the gift shop and cafeteria and he'd sign to me and I'd speak to whomever. The nurse said those were the moments he cherished best. She said that the biggest change in his recovery had to do with me coming to see him. I gave him a chance to go to places in the hospital he couldn't go to normally. I gave him the chance to get something immediately rather than waiting until he could communicate his desire to her or one of the other nurses willing to learn his version of sign and then waiting until they could carry out his purchase and bring it back to him either when they went on break or got off shift. I'm grateful I could do something for him even though it was so little.

Later another vet came in and then I learned another one hand version of sign. That paid off much later when I got out of high school as this gentleman was placed in a nursing home that I had a job in. Because of my already knowing his language I was frequently assigned to his care. The staff eventually noticed an improvement in him on the days I worked vs the days I didn't work or that I did but wasn't assigned to him. It really drove home the importance of communication and how English isn't always the best or only way to do so.

I've faced the struggle I'm going through now with learning ASL. My instructor luckily happened to know the 2nd veteran. And once she realized that I could communicate with him things got better in the class for me. Mainly because if I wasn't getting it with both hands she'd do it his way with one and with a little cueing I would eventually get it with both hands. Sadly I wasn't able to continue my lessons as life threw me a curve ball but because of those lessons In 3 of my jobs working retail, I was able to salvage some nasty situations. My signing was rusty even then but it was good enough to intervene and take a disgruntled customer turning them into a satisfied customer. Especially when my instructor would come in to shop. I miss having someone to sign with. I miss the ballet of hands. It's probably why I insisted that both my children take classes in signing when they were presented. I regret that neither stayed with it. but for a select few signs.

I always felt learning to sign was important. After all, we have a school for the death in the area. The community may not be huge or use sign as much as when I was a child so there doesn't seem to be as many who sign at present it totally doesn't negate the need to know sign. Again it's about respect. I do run through my sign dictionaries and some online stuff to keep my fingers limber but I know I need real human interaction because I'm finding it harder to read since I don't have anyone to sign with any longer.

None of this is about being little miss goody-two-shoes, know it all. All of it is about respecting and being able to communicate with someone not because it's mandatory but because it's the only way good communication can happen especially to help out or to prevent injury in another. So that's why even though I'm struggling my butt's in the chair and I'm trying to learn and planning to learn something beyond the English I speak, read, and write now.

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dangstudios · 7 years ago

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Lists are my life

Hey everyone! I’m Janice. I graduated with these 5 other weirdos and now and I make DANG! art and games for a…living. Well, we’re trying to get there anyway. It’s been almost 2 months since we’ve officially got off our college asses and sat right back down on our self-employed asses and the transition has been a ride. I guess I’m going to take a little time now to give some tips on how to make this transition, rebirth, or change of lifestyle a little bit easier.

1. ORGANIZE YOURSELF

LISTS

There can be so many things going on at once in your life and its important to not let that sneak up and come crashing down on you. One way to do that is to keep track of everything, so make hella LISTS. Think of something that will ultimately need your attention? Even if it’s in two months? Write. it. down. Keep to-do lists and keep them updated at all times. Not only will it help you remember tasks, it can also be therapeutic to know you have things under control, especially when you can make that sweet, sweet cross-off. It’s also helpful to make multiple, for instance I personally like to make “To Do NOW” and “To Do GENERAL” lists. It helps me stay focused on more pressing tasks while also having other errands still present on the back burner. In addition to to-do lists, I also have lists of inspirations, tutorials, up-coming concerts, and more. I think staying organized is empowering, and although it may seem tedious, it helps you down the line.

CLEANING

Yea… it’s important. I really believe that being in a clean and organized space can be motivating and help reduce anxiety. Again it’s that feeling of, “Damn, I got my shit together.” and even if that isn’t true, feigning it is one step closer. Being put together in one aspect of your life can ultimately help out the others. I know it can sometimes seem like a waste of time, like why should I make my bed if I’m just going to sleep on it again tonight? or this may be the 6th time I’m wearing this shirt but it’s got no stains so why not? (Bury me in clean laundry, it’s literally the best thing on earth come on) but really staying fresh and maintaining a clean space does so much good both mentally and physically. I was on an overnight trip once with a friend who woke up early just to clean the rented kitchen by herself and when I asked her why she felt impelled to do that she replied, “It feels good to know I have the ability to control something in my life.” You’ll feel better in so many ways so do please make time for it.

2. YOUR BODY IS A TEMPLE

EATING RIGHT

Plan. Plan. Plan. Make time to buy groceries and to make meals, decide what you want before you make that trip to the supermarket. Make another list! Feeling good in your body is seriously influenced by what you put into it so, try to eat healthier and more regularly. Read up on some recipes so you get excited to make your own food! Honestly, I’m so in love with food that planning on what I’m going to eat motivates me to get my work done faster so this helped me a lot. I’ve also been learning to make healthier food so that I can ultimately eat… more of it. So in a lot of ways it’s a win. Just try to get into better habits so that your body doesn’t hate you.

EXERCISE

“Just try to get into better habits so that your body doesn’t hate you”

I found that sleeping earlier and waking up earlier to exercise in the morning has improved my life a ton. Yes, it’s hard to get out of bed a lot of the time but once you start moving (in my case, biking or skateboarding) the lethargy gets all shaken off. That burst of energy really jumpstarts your day and keeps the momentum of productivity going, evidently more-so than getting more sleep. I not only feel more energized, but also I feel better about myself, more accomplished in a way. Also, being awake before everyone else and seeing the sunrise is pretty cool.

TAKE BREAKS

As someone who works at a desk all day I can attest to how uncomfortable my body can feel at times because of it. My neck and shoulders hurt constantly, my arms and hands get so sore, and my eyes are basically always overstrained even when I’m not looking at a screen at this point. So what I try to do and what you should definitely do is, get up! At least every hour or so, get up and walk around. Maybe do a little chore here and there every time you do. Look away from the screen every so often! Green is apparently the best color for your eyes to rest on so, look out the window! If you’re fortunate to have green outside your window that is, and if not, then take a walk! Go throw out that trash that’s been overflowing for way too long! Give yourself reasons to take breaks, and even kill two birds with one stone in this process of self-care.

3. KEEP A ROUTINE

This kind of goes with organization, planning, treating your body nicely… I guess this kind of wraps all the previous points together. Maintaining a routine can be healthy, healthy in that you get used to good habits and not losing yourself in uncertainty. It helps you keep on top of things and weeds out distractions, as it provides you a reference of scheduled tasks and activities. For me this involves, exercising, checking my emails every morning, looking over my to-do lists, and etc. I do certain things every single day, maybe more than a few times, and although it may seem excessive to some, it helps me maintain my sanity. In some ways it’s good to have predetermined responsibilities however of course it is also super important to have other things to look forward to. Plan fun events in the future! Farmers market this Saturday? Sure, jot it down! Now it feels like your routine has an ultimate purpose. For instance, I have a concert coming up in two weeks and it gives reason to my everyday duties, making them easier to get through.

It’s easy to overwork, get demotivated, and just end up having a hazy and uneasy mind. As an incredibly anxious person, I know how real that problem can be. But I can honestly say that actively trying to change my lifestyle and following these tips as best as I can these days has helped immensely with how I feel about myself and ultimately how I feel about the future. Beginning a new stage in life can be terrifying, I know, but treat yourself better and you may just start to feel better too.

#videogames #devblog #indiegames #DANG!

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johnnydundies · 8 years ago

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Oranges, Cadillacs, Campbell Soup Cans, Black American History, & God Oranges. You can bet on finding one in my refrigerator every time you open it. We even have a special orange peeler made by Tupperware. I love peeling back that tough exterior and the excess white residue underneath to reveal that juicy sweet goodness. Or sometimes cutting the oranges into slices and devouring them until it looked as though I am wearing a unique mouth guard. Now, I look at these oranges and imagine George Starling, the Blye brothers, and other pickers scaling large trees all day for pennies. Picturing George “Schoolboy” Starling using his intellect to calculate what the grove owners promised to pay and then finding their paychecks not adding up. I envision how George realized that World War I depleted the workforce. He then would convince the majority of pickers to only work fair wages or not work at all. George knew the grove owners themselves could fill the demand and would have no choice but to breakdown and pay the appropriate wage (without cheating their paychecks because George Starling could do the math). See George knew that black men and women would typically work all day for seventy-five cents or maybe a dollar, but he also knew picking in the grove with fairer wages could be bring in that same amount in just an hour or two. Under his leadership George basically formed his own union because he knew the grove owners had no choice, if they wanted to get paid they had to have pickers. Mr. Starling stood strong against the white owners. George wouldn’t budge either, it was his price (a fair price) and not a penny less. Yes sir, oranges will always taste a little sweeter to me now. Cadillacs. My father-in-law owns a brand new cherry red 2017 Cadillac. It has a sleek new modern design, but that logo still stands out. The Cadillac crest sits prominent on the back and front of the vehicle. When I see it, Big Boi & Andre 3K echo in my head rhyming about two dope boys in a Cadillac with me and you, yo momma and yo cousin too rolling down the strip and slamming the doors. One does not have to be an automotive expert to spot a Mercedes, Audi, or Ferrari just by the logo…and the Cadillac logo is no different. No doubt about it, Cadillacs represent luxury. However, now when my father-in-law pulls up in my driveway I immediately recall the young aspiring Dr. Foster earning the money to buy a brand new Cadillac himself. He wanted a car that would spark interest and grab the attention of potential clients. After all, Dr. Foster was a man of style and first impressions. Even though, he earned enough money to purchase a Cadillac, when Dr. Foster visited the local dealership he was only offered the used models. Evidently Negroes at this time were not worthy of owning a brand new one despite the ability to afford one. That Cadillac symbol now makes me visualize Dr. Robert Pershing Foster feverishly writing that letter to the Cadillac manufacturers describing his experience. Then not only being granted to purchase a brand new Cadillac but also choosing the color and model which would be delivered to him. If I get the opportunity to get behind the wheel of my father-in-law’s precious Cadillac, I will definitely daydream about Dr. Robert Pershing Foster cruising around to his patients, his practice, the race tracks and casinos. Letting all the onlookers know, the doctor has arrived. Campbell Soup cans. My wife is always stocking our pantry. She will be the first to tell you we have items that need to be kept in multiple quantities at all times. One of these said items are varieties of Campbell soup. These soups are commonly used for ingredients for various meals, while some are just the company’s famous chicken noodle soup. I’m convinced their chicken noodle soup completely eradicates almost any head cold and sore throat. These staple Campbell products in our household all come in cans still. Going forward these cans will always bring George and Ida Mae Gladney to mind. Both working long hours for wages lower than their white co-workers. George working the canning machines over and over and over for years with that repetitive labor wearing on his body. Ida Mae finally getting a job at the Campbell plant that would free her from the stereotypical female “slave market” jobs. These “slave market” jobs were basically groups of black women waiting to be handpicked by white women who would pay them to do their household chores, grocery shopping, or sometimes other menial tasks. I try to visualize the various homes the Gladney family lived in before finally purchasing their first three story flat with the help of the steady work the Campbell plant provided. Yes indeed, George and Ida epitomized work ethic. Yet George still had time to open the church every Sunday. To me a can of Campbell soup might as well have a picture of George and Ida Mae Gladney on it. One may think it is foolish for a can to recall such images, but it will. The images of a life of hard work, struggle, faith, heartbreak, and incredible perseverance. Black American History. My knowledge of black history was forever transformed by this book. I thought I had an idea of what hatred and evil black men and women endured from arriving in 1619 until the Civil Rights Act of 1964, that’s 345 years…that’s approximately 6 generations. A day to day fear of not knowing if you were going to be beaten, lynched or raped…or maybe all of the above with no recourse or accountability. Like George Starling’s friend, Reuben Blye, recalling helping his uncle cut down a limp, lynched body out of tree they spotted on their way to run errands, when Reuben was only ten years old. Or Ida Mae’s friend Joe Lee, who was beaten almost to death for being wrongfully accused of stealing turkeys. Ida Mae recounted he was beaten with chains until Joe Lee’s overalls turned red with blood and stuck to his skin as if with adhesive. Her husband George and other men had to use grease to peel the overalls off of Joe Lee, just as their slave forefathers had done generations before. Not to mention the “stolen” turkeys wandered back to the farm from the woods the next day. No apology offered, just another day in the life. Then there is a black soldier named, Wilbur Little, who returned home in 1919 after his tour of duty in World War I. He was greeted by a band of white men demanding he take off his uniform and warned him to leave town if wanted to continue to wear it. Days later, Mr. Little was found beaten to death in his uniform. This man fought for a country that killed him when he returned. Yet, we call Colin Kaepernick un-American? There was a quote in the book from a white southerner in the early 1940s that stated “the killing of a Negro by a white man ceased in practice even to call for legal inquiry.” How many unknown deaths? How many unrecorded lynchings? How many murderers went unpunished by the law? I think little Eddie Earvin summed it up best when he recalls passing by a white church where the kids threw rocks and bricks at him calling him the vilest of names and asking his grandparents, “What kind of god they got up inside that church?” God. “Over the course of six decades, some six million black southerners left the land of their forefathers and fanned out across the country for an uncertain existence in nearly every other corner of America”, writes Isabel Wilkerson. Six million? I find that number six million astounding because after reading this Pulitzer Prize masterpiece I’ve realized that means six million different reasons. Six million different journeys. My biggest take away from this revelation of the Great Migration is the following. We are all fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God. There is no such thing as being “colorblind” because God obviously is not “colorblind.” We live in a country, or a world for that matter, made up of different skin colors and cultures, yet we are all dynamic and uniquely made. Why do we still feel the need in American culture to place, not just black men and women, but all men and women in boxes? We resort to political, religious, and sexual labels as if we are not more than those? Why must we continually place limits on their greatness? Why must we ignorantly react to the cries of the marginalized? How can we come to understand another culture instead of forcing that culture to stop being different? Will the “U.S.” ever be “us?” Well, for me it was simply learning more about the culture’s existence. A culture that survived 345 years (if we are honest 398 years and counting) of oppression. A culture which relied on their family members and loved ones spread out all over the country for shelter, food, and basic day to day survival. A culture where many saw through all the injustices and hate but still saw Jesus. The Lord of Lords, the King of Kings, the resurrected Son of God who would not forsake them. The God Ida Mae’s mother, Miss Theenie, would pray to whenever Ida would travel, “May the Lord be the first one in the car/train, and the last out.” The same God, the stoic and strong George Starling would sing to with tears welling up in his eyes and rolling down his cheeks. The same God who young Gilbert Elie heard being called out to in the woods by a black man being lashed. Gilbert heard the black man pray “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they doing. I lived a good life for you, if you never done nothing for me, Lord, please…” Gilbert Elie said fifty plus years later “I ain’t never heard a man pray like that man.” This book only strengthened my love for Jesus, his Holy Spirit, and his heavenly Father above. I will never pray, sing, or read God’s word the same after finishing this book. When you can seek first the Kingdom of God, there is no evil that can overcome you. John McDaniel Thank you #Lecrae , #ShoBaraka , and #Propaganda for this recommendation.

#thewarmthofothersuns #blackhistoryisamericanhistory #isabel wilkerson #lecrae #sho baraka #propaganda #prophiphop #humblebeast #cadillac #campbell soup #jesus #oranges #greatmigration

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