#look. sometimes you read something that was so promising yet so bad and you start thinking ‘if I’D written this i’d have done [x]’

[lilowoof]

ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD

Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!

[fingertipsmp3]

Someone remind me not to mention creative writing as one of my hobbies in the academic interview I have on Monday, because if those people ask what I’m currently working on I cannot answer them

[raz-writes-the-thing]

Is That A Promise? (Venom One-Shot)

Eddie Brock x GN!Reader / requests are open and encouraged

Summary: Telling you about Venom does not go entirely how Eddie planned.

CW: mentions of monster fucking, Eddie is oblivious and a dumbass (I think I have a type)

Venom Tag List: (send an ask to be added to a tag list!)

___ ___ ___ ___ ___

You’d known Eddie Brock a good while by this point. You’d started dating him a while back, and while he put others on edge, you’d found the way he talked to himself out loud rather charming, actually. 

At first, you weren’t sure if he was just unmedicated, or undiagnosed. But then the news broke about the symbiote, and then there was the footage. And when Eddie started coming home right after news broke of some other attack or taking out of a bad guy or criminal or whoever, you’d put two and two together. 

It was kind of hard not to. Particularly as his conversations with himself could vary from topic to topic in the span of six words or less.

 

Eddie had asked to meet up for lunch today at your favourite restaurant. He’d seemed a bit off on the phone, and given how prone you were to anxiety, your immediate thought had been that he was breaking up with you and that you’d done something to upset him or his bodily guest- who you did not officially know about, of course. 

You’d gotten there early to prepare yourself for whatever shitshow was about to follow and to your immense surprise, Eddie had shown up pretty much right after you. Eddie was always running late, so this change in pace was also mildly concerning. You were not sure how this was going to go and you did not like that one bit. 

“You’re here early, too,” Eddie had said, swallowing thickly and avoiding eye contact. You nodded, and cleared your throat, gesturing for him to sit down at the table opposite you. 

“Yeah, I wanted to make sure we had a spot,” you replied, smoothing down your shirt. Bit of a nervous habit. That and ripping at your nails, but that was beside the point. 

“Right,” Eddie replied. 

And then the two of you lapsed into silence. You spent a good five to ten minutes appearing to read over the menu as if this wasn’t a regular spot for you and you didn’t know exactly what you were going to order. In fact, you’d be surprised if the cooks weren’t already making it up for you even though a waiter hadn’t come over yet. 

“Shut up,” Eddie hissed quietly. You peered over the menu to eye him curiously, one brow arced in question. 

“I didn’t say anything, Eddie.” 

“Yeah, I know. I- uh, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about, actually,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. You hummed, and put the menu down to give him your attention. 

“About me shutting up?” 

“No- God, this is not going at all like I planned.” Eddie rubbed a hand over his face and sighed. 

You said nothing, waiting patiently for him to work out his wording.

 

“I really like you,” he started, and you nodded, replying with the same sentiment. “And, well, there’s something I’ve been hiding from you.”

 

“Right…” This is where you expected him to tell you he was married (doubtful but not impossible) or had cancer or something terrible. Dear God, please no. 

“Look- you’ve seen on the news, yes, the, uh- the attacks. Yeah?” 

You nod. Ah, so he was finally telling you about his friend living literally rent-free in his body. Okay, you could relax a little. 

“He’s me. Venom, he lives in my body. He’s in my head. Like, all the time. Right now.” 

Eddie looked at the table where he was picking at the tablecloth. You were silent for a second, and Eddie clearly took that to mean you were horrified or disgusted or something. You were a little nervous about it, sure, but you’d also been living with him for the last few months. If Venom was planning to take you out, he would have done so by now, surely. You figured this to mean you were safe enough. You’d also seen your fair share of monster porn, so you weren’t exactly unkeen on the idea of dating someone who sometimes had a monster body. It was kind of hot, actually. You shook the thought out of your head and tried to focus.

“Oh, yeah- I knew about that,” you replied, and the way Eddie’s head snapped towards you was almost comical. 

“You what?”

 

“Yeah, I figured that out a while ago. I was just waiting for you to tell me in your own time.”

 

Eddie blinked, and a black residue appeared on the back of his hand. It swirled and gathered on his hand before reaching for you delicately. You met it, brushing your finger over it softly. The goop (for lack of a better word) seemed to shiver pleasurably and you smiled.

 

“Can I meet him later?” 

Eddie nodded, watching the interaction with disbelief. He’d thought that you’d go running and screaming through the doors or something, not be rubbing your fingers over Venom like you were fingering some Play-Doh. 

“Y-yeah, later,” he agreed. “Not here. When we get home.”

 

You grinned and the black substance retreated back into Eddie’s skin as a waiter appeared by your table. 

“What can I get for you? The regular?” 

You looked at Eddie and clicked your tongue thoughtfully. 

“The usual with a serving of chicken nuggets on the side, please.”

 

The waiter nodded, scribbled it own on his pad and wandered off in the direction of the kitchen. Eddie looked at you in question. He knew you weren’t big on nuggets. 

“They’re for Venom,” you explained, propping your head up on your palm. Eddie looked to the side as if listening to something carefully. 

“Venom says thank you-” Eddie said before cutting himself as Venom said something else in his head. “No, I’m not saying that. No. No.” 

“Say what?”

Eddie sighed defeatedly- something you think he did a lot when it came to Venom. 

“Venom said he could kiss you right now.” Eddie looked mortified as the words left his mouth. You burst into laughter. 

“Is that a threat or a promise? I hope it’s a promise,” you replied, wiggling your eyebrows at the two of them. 

Eddie swallowed thickly and blushed as Venom said something else. You’d have to see if Venom could swap hosts sometime. It would be nice to have a conversation while out and about like that. 

“Promise,” Eddie replied. 

Good.

[kurikive]

CASUAL | danielle marsh.

— "is it casual now?"

6thmember!reader, situationship/fwb but nothing sexual, angst, fluff at the end i promise, dani swears, reader is a (closeted) lesbian, reader is horrible at reading people, written in 2nd person, they work it out on the remix

warnings : A LOT of internalized homophobia !! reader refers to herself multiple times as a predator but it's just from fear and insecurity, nothing actually predatory is happening in the story. extremely brief mentions of starvation

wc: 5.4k words

inspired by: Casual — Chappell Roan

you and danielle marsh are friends. more than co-workers, you're friends. although you don't have that much in common except for your age, it was easy to adapt to the harsh environment of the k-pop industry's training system with someone like danielle by your side.

she's always been a ray of sunshine in everyone's lives, you're not the exception. if you were in a bad mood, tired from waking up in the early morning everyday, worked to the point of exhaustion, danielle would be there rubbing your shoulders and saying something sweet like

"you're doing great, y/n! keep up!"

and then you'd smile at her, and she'd smile back, and you'd feel so much better, thanks to danielle.

you didn't have many interests in common. music taste, fashion sense, movie picks, food preferences, personality types, if anything you were almost her complete opposite. and yet, she sat in your bed every night while you scrolled on your phone, talking for hours until it the clock hits midnight and she goes back to her room.

danielle did most of the talking, and you carefully listened to everything she said. the enthusiasm in which she enunciated all her words was endearing to listen to, and it couldn't not bring a smile out of you. the girl never forgot to give you your chance to speak too, trying to get to know you better everyday.

there was one thing she could not know, however. that you're a lesbian.

if it was hard enough being gay in korea, it was ten times harder when you were about to debut in a girl group, in one of the biggest companies in the industry at the moment nonetheless.

there were times where the members would all gather and have girl talks, talking about things like movies, celebrity crushes, past boyfriends and all that stuff, and you felt left out every single time.

sometimes it's more a curse than a blessing that danielle notices everything, because when she asks, "who's your celebrity crush, y/n?", "what do you look for in a boy, y/n?", "have you ever had a boyfriend, y/n?", you never know how you're supposed to respond.

it wasn't safe. it'll never be safe.

you've known the girls for almost a year and there has never been an indication of the way they felt about the LGBTQ+ community. hanni was your safest bet, she seemed the most open minded, but then again you can never be sure.

they were all so painfully straight.

so you try your best to answer vaguely,

"i don't know.", "i'm not sure, i don't really think about that." they complain a little about your mysteriousness, but it doesn't take long for them to let it go and move on.

you don't know how long you have to keep pretending you're not sure. you are sure.

you like girls.

you don't want to keep pretending you don't. but how would they feel?.

they'd feel unsafe, uncomfortable, scared, exposed to a threat, a possibility of being prey to a predator, a little voice in your head tells you.

but you're not. you're not a predator. they know you're not a predator. you'd never do anything to hurt them, or make them uncomfortable.

so you keep pretending. but the shell is starting to crack, and a knot in your throat gets tighter everytime you hear your members ask "is he your type?".

your debut is only a couple months away. you pray to god hanni has noticed by now. she's your roommate after all.

you start playing some specific songs without your headphones in hopes she walks by or enters the room and notices. you hope she's the one that asks. but she doesn't, she never mentions the songs, ever.

so you move on to movies and shows.

when she catches you watching heartbreak high in the living room TV, she only says "oh they're aussies, right?"

when she sees you watching heartstopper on your phone while eating dinner she just says, "kit connor is soooo handsome."

she doesn't mention it when she goes into your room and you're playing but i'm a cheerleader on your laptop. but hanni has caught on.

and the next time she goes into your shared room, she closes the door behind her. you're in your bed, and you're staring at each other, both of your eyes shine with nervousness.

"can i ask you something?" she says from the door, so shakily you start fearing she's not going to take it like you wish she would.

"sure." you didn't mean for your voice to come out as quiet as it did.

it's a nerve-wracking couple of seconds watching hanni take a seat in her own bed and face you. she takes a big breath before asking, "do you- no, sorry. are you... gay?"

yes, yes, yes. i am a lesbian. i like girls. you want to scream, but the realization of reality strangles you and your throat feels so tight, and you can't say anything.

"it's not like there's anything wrong about it, i'm just... asking." she tries. you can tell she's trying. it's sweet that she's trying.

"yes." it's a struggle to get it out, and your heart starts racing, but just being able to feels like such a relief that you might start crying. but then fear washes down on you again when you can't read hanni, at all.

"i'm really sorry, hanni. i promise i'm not weird or predatory or anything, i would never try to make you uncomfortable and i'm sorry if i ever did. i promise i don't like you like that, not that you're not attractive or anything, that's not what i mean at all. i just- i would never like you like that, you're like my sister and i promise that i'm still the same y/n you met, i really hope this doesn't change anything in our-" she cuts off your rambled apology-slash-explanation with a hug.

"it doesn't. i promise." it hits you now, just now, that hanni knows. she knows.

"please don't tell the others." you're choked up, and that's the only thing you could say before the tears in your eyes caught up. i don't know how they'll take it, you want to say, but the only thing that comes out is a broken sob.

"i won't. it's okay, y/n."

you've grown closer to hanni than you'd ever thought you would. you spend your nights in your room talking and laughing and watching funny videos you send each other.

it's been a few months since you've debuted and you couldn't be happier. you had someone to rely on, someone who knows all your secrets and can trust her with them, and vice versa.

your career has skyrocketed and your popularity is through the roof, and although there are always negative consequences that come with that fame, it's been mostly great on your end.

danielle doesn't really hang out in your room to talk anymore. if you're honest, you kind of miss it, but she surely has her reasons, and you don't think too much about it.

you're currently in one of the vocal practice rooms at HYBE, setting up your phone to do a phoning live. you'd just finish your vocal practice and you had asked for permission beforehand.

after a few minutes of talking with your fans, recommending movies and talking about food, you hear a knock on your door. quite strange.

"yeah? who is it?" you yell loud enough to no cause any ruckus. the door slightly opens and a face peeks inside, "it's me!" danielle's signature smile shining brightly at you, "i saw you were live and wanted to come hang out."

you didn't even need to tell her anything before she was coming right inside the room to grab a chair and sit beside you. "well, come hang out then!" you face your screen to see danielle struggling to bring the chair closer to you, and you chuckle a bit. "dani's here, guys!"

danielle has always been very touchy; with everyone, that is. today was not the exception, resting her head on your shoulder, holding your hand and locking your fingers together, nuzzling her face in your neck, it's all things you're already used to.

it's never been more than just friendly showcases of affection, to you, at least. and you've also never been irritated by it, but there's some guilt you try to suppress.

you don't want to push her away, you're not uncomfortable with her actions, what is uncomfortable is her potentially finding out your sexuality and thinking you let her shower you with affection for your own amusement. you fear it. but you don't want to think about that right now.

you think about it again, however, when you go back home and open social media only to see videos and threads with thousands of likes and views compiling every sweet moment of affection that happened just mere hours ago.

there's a pang in your chest when you see the tens of delusional comments talking of how much they'd like to see you and your friend as a couple. it feels like you're being strangled, and you suddenly feel unwell, so you close the app and turn off your phone.

"i should watch a movie."

you fully believe your debut was your prime. everyday gets harder, scandal after scandal, comeback after comeback, day after day. you work really hard, your members know, your fans know. but it never looks like it's going to get easier.

you win awards, win some more, get another important deal, shoot another session, write another song, the cycle repeats although not in the same order. like a fucked up loop. you're so fucking tired.

you wonder how hyein is holding up. you care a lot for her, like your little sister. she seems okay, eating a bowl of yogurt and fruits in the living room with haerin and hanni. are you the only one having a hard time?

you need to relieve your stress, and there's really no other option other than going to the gym to work out. so you go back to your room to lazily change into your practice clothes and grab your backpack, "i'm going to the gym." you try your best to sound at least a little enthusiastic as you walk behind the living room couch.

"when are you coming back?" you hear danielle ask from the kitchen, a twinge of concern in her voice. "it might start raining soon."

"i won't take long. if i see it starts to get cloudy i'll get going." you try to put her worries at ease. your gym doesn't have windows, though.

you shouldn't have gone. you're not even supposed to go anyway. it's raining hard, and it might start storming soon. but your manager can't know you're here. one of the many downsides of being in a group with four minors and two barely-adults, you can't call any of them to pick you up. so fuck it, you're taking the public transportation.

kind of extremely risky considering you are literally in newjeans, but okay. what else is there to do? what you failed to consider is the only bus stop being about five blocks away. and the bus doesn't drop you off even remotely close to the dorms. so you're gonna be running in the rain and, fuck it again, you do just that.

the first five blocks to the bus stop weren't that bad, you didn't get soaked like you imagined, blocking most raindrops with your backpack over your head. you really should've just brought an umbrella, though.

good thing you brought a mask, at least. nobody seemed to recognize you on the bus. you take a seat as close as possible to the exit and take out your phone to hurriedly text the group chat.

i got a bit caught up, im omw

domt worry 2 much

ill b there soon :))

minji responds with a thumbs up, hanni leaves an "idiot" that gets a like reaction by haerin. you see danielle write and then stop writing about 3 times, but she ends up not sending anything at all, so you just turn off your phone and look outside for your stop.

it only takes a couple minutes of waiting to see the silhouette of your dorm building. you get off your seat and wait for the bus to halt at the next stop to get off. it's raining a bit harder, but there's nothing you can do except wing it.

and when you get off, you immediately put your backpack on top of your head and start running as fast as you could towards your dorm. you get some looks, but no one can possibly be able to recognize you, not at the speed you're going.

after a few minutes, your legs start getting tired not only from running, but all the exercise you did hours earlier. another thing you failed to consider in this mediocre, careless plan.

but you're almost there. and you're almost not soaked.

by the time you reach your building the only thing about you that isn't wet is your scalp. you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket, it's probably one of your members, but you're almost there, you can't pick up.

you enter the gates of the apartment, and you're probably going to make a mess on the floor on the elevator, but your legs can't take it anymore, and you thank any god that hears your prayers when the elevator doors open and it's empty. you can't take more embarrassment right now.

the doors open once again and you try not to make much noise as you run towards your dorm. someone inside must've heard you fumbling with your keys because as soon as you find the right one the door is already open, a concerned danielle with a just as worried minji behind her. you smile at the sight of them. "hello!"

"get your ass inside!" you hear hanni shout from the couch.

you're drying your hair in your room after taking a shower and explaining the situation to your group members. just as you're about to turn on your phone to see what time it is you hear a knock on your door, "can i come in?" it's danielle.

"yup. come on in!" you answer a lot more energized than a couple hours before. danielle's not wearing her usual bright smile, but rather a more worried expression. "y/n, can we talk?"

you're confused. you've never heard or seen her like this before. she's obviously been worried before, she cares about you just as much as the others, but this time it's different. "yeah, what's up?" you try your best to respond calmly and tap a stop in the bed beside yourself, which danielle gladly takes.

"are you okay?" she asks as she settles down at your side. what?

"what do you mean?" you don't notice it but you start fidgeting with your own fingers. danielle notices.

"it's just," she tries looking somewhere else, but she can't help the need of looking into your eyes all the time, looking for some sort of sign, some crack, "i can tell you're stressed. you're tired and... if you need to talk i just want you to know that i'm here." her eyes are dripping honey and her hand is so warm when she grabs yours.

you show her a sluggish smile, "thanks, dani. i appreciate that." when you look back, her face is already finding it's way to the crook of your neck. "i'm just a little tired of everything. it really feels like i'm doing the same things all over again. i know we've achieved a lot as a group but i feel like i have nothing going on for myself." you sigh, danielle says nothing, urging you to continue.

"all the songs i pitch get turned down, my other drafts feel too personal to release as a group song. every song i write with the group in mind feels, i don't know, empty?"

your eyes unfocus as a wave of emptiness washes over you and the only thing you feel is a water droplet from your bangs fall and travel down your temples. and also the warmth shared by danielle's hand in yours.

"i just feel like nothing's going on in my life." you feel danielle's head leave your shoulder and you turn to look at each other at the same time, "i think i know how you feel." she says with the sweetest eyes ever.

"thanks for listening, dani." you smile at her, but it feels so strange when she doesn't smile back. she just stares, right through you. her eyes are so pretty; you've always known but this is the first time you've looked at them directly for so long (there's really nothing else for you to look at when she's so close to your face).

oh, yeah. in a sudden moment you were inches apart. you don't remember moving so it must've been danielle.

you don't really understand what's going on. maybe this is an eye contact battle and you're not supposed to blink. and you think for a moment you had it easy because suddenly danielle's pretty eyes are nowhere to be found and you're staring at her eyelids and long eyelashes instead.

before your brain even thinks of giving you the chance to mutter "i win!" in a silly manner, you feel your own lips getting shut. covered, enveloped by another set of softness.

oh. this is not what you expected at all.

what are you even supposed to do right now? well, pull away, obviously. but that could could give danielle the impression that you hate everything about this and, really, that's not true at all. it's good. well, not good, but- danielle is not horrible at kissing.

what even is happening, anyway? i mean, you're kissing. but what else? nothing feels like it's moving; it feels like time's stopped. there also hasn't been anything that has lead up to this happening.

so you're just left there, paralyzed, in shock, waiting until danielle pulls away. just waiting until she's done with you. until she's satisfied.

and it's until danielle notices that you're not moving that she realizes what she's done. she pulls away, shaken and distraught.

"y/n, i am so sorry. i don't know what came over me, i am so so so sorry. i really didn't mean to do that. please forgive me, y/n, i am really so sorry." at this point, danielle's voice starts to break. "i don't know why i did that, it's just, i don't know, you just looked good a-and we were just close and-"

"it's okay, dani. i know."

"no, y/n, i really am sorry. i-"

"dani, i swear it's fine." you grab her shoulder to reassure her, but is anything really fine right now? "i..." you don't really know what to say next. "i don't, like, hate you or anything. i understand things like that happen. i'm not mad at you."

"really?" you've never seen her tear up so fast. you definitely didn't expect her to tear up at this. but you know the feeling of guilt so well you can't help but feel sympathy for her. "are you sure? i promise it won't happen again."

"i'm sure, dani. you could never do anything to make me hate you."

you smile at her, she sniffles. it's the last thing you hear before you hear the sound of her wristwatch's seconds ticking. you don't really know what's going through her head. you count about 34 ticks.

"did you hate it?" her voice isn't weak, but it is lower than you normally expect it to be.

you're stunned, but the way she looks at you so earnestly, with a hint of nervousness in her eyes forces you to answer within seconds, "n-no! dani, i didn't... hate it. it was just unexpected. i didn't really process it at first." it's the truth, but it feels so gut-wrenching to say.

another 20 ticks of quiet.

"can i do it again?"

hello? hello? what is going on? hello?

"i-i mean, if you want to." it sounds more like a question than a proper answer. and danielle takes it anyway.

you don't have any romantic feelings for danielle, that's for sure. she's said she doesn't have any feelings for you either. that's established. and yet when hanni is too caught up watching movies in the living room with minji and hyein, danielle is always there, sitting in your bed.

sometime's it's just little pecks while you cuddle and watch something she doesn't care much about. sometime's she's on the verge of kissing the living shit out of you.

it's never more than that. none of you let it be more than that. it's more than okay.

it's comfortable. it's casual.

and yet, every time it happens, you feel guilt eat at your stomach.

because danielle doesn't know. and she can't know.

it's not like this was your idea in the first place, it was danielle's. but the fact that you let her do it anyway could be predatory enough for her to feel unsafe if she ever did find out. even if she's the one who caused this all.

and never once do you think about yourself while it happens. it's not a moment for you, it's a moment for danielle to take. and you're okay with that. as long as she's okay with it.

you're okay with many things just because danielle is okay with them.

if danielle wants to watch a romcom, you watch a romcom. if danielle wants to eat plain yogurt, you eat plain yogurt. if danielle wants to kiss you, you let her kiss you.

it's not that big of a deal if there are no feelings involved. it's just a matter of believing that that's actually true.

you let her do whatever she wants because you're scared to do the taking. because taking feels like stealing, and doing feels like attacking. and you're so scared to hurt danielle that you forget you can also hurt yourself.

but if it's so casual, why doesn't she let go of your hand? why does she call you pretty everyday? why does she look at you with those pretty eyes like you're her whole world?

was the "i love you" she said yesterday something she meant as platonic love? is there such a thing as casual love?

was it just the sound of the raindrops on your window that made you hallucinate the sound of a love confession?

you don't eat anything for the rest of the day.

minji and hyein are visiting their parents. hanni and haerin are out of the country. and you're in the dorm kitchen trying to figure out how blurred the lines are while you mix the milk into your tea.

you feel your heart drop when you hear the sound of footsteps of the line-blurrer herself over the sounds of light rain. it hasn't stopped since the day before.

you don't want to feel anything right now, you don't want to hear anything right now.

she wraps her arms around your waist and says, "good morning." with that big bright smile on her face. at one point it started hurting when she did, but you don't remember when.

she smells like the candles you burnt in your room two days after hanni left. you were trying to get rid of danielle's scent from your room, but you couldn't tell her that, so you just said you were trying something new.

danielle notices you say nothing back, and your eyes are nowhere in particular. "watchu thinkin' about?" her always cheery tone gets you out of your trance, and she notices when you stop stirring the spoon in your cup. you're still silent for a bit, but she lets you take your time.

"i don't think we should do this anymore, danielle."

you tense up when her arms leave your waist, but it feels oddly freeing. you don't turn back to face her.

"what do you mean?"

"are we still casual?"

there's disbelief in danielle's voice when she speaks, "what are you talking about? of course we are!" but she sounds dishonest, in a way.

"really?" that's when you turn around, her eyes are wide and her cheeks are quite flushed but nothing about her seems guilty at all, "because saying "i love you" doesn't seem quite casual to me."

she scoffs, "y/n, i tell all my friends i love them. it's a normal thing!"

"i'd agree with you if we weren't kissing on the low. it's a little too much on top of that."

"i don't know what you think casual means but-"

"what i mean is we should stop before the lines start to blur, that's if they haven't already." you don't want to yell at her. you hope she understands before you have to raise your voice. "we are public figures, famous figures. if this goes wrong we can't go back and that could potentially ruin everything, not only for us but for our group."

"well, it can't go wrong if there's no feelings involved, can it?" danielle is usually playfully sassy, but she's never responded to you like this before.

"we're human, danielle. feelings can't be stopped." you're not too good at reading people, but you can see something has clicked in danielle's brain.

"what i'm getting is that you developed feelings for me while we were casual, is that right?" she seems so sure and confident that it annoys you. it frustrates you. and you want to cry.

"no, that's not what i said. but i am scared of it happening, and i want this to stop before it has the chance to."

"well, you should've thought of that before you said yes." you never really did.

"why are you upset, anyways?"

"b-because!" her voice gets louder, "i just wanted this to be casual, and now your telling me you're scared of catching feelings, it's just weird. that's all."

you sigh, "listen, i don't want this to end on a bad note. i just-"

"well, i don't want this to end at all!"

it takes you a minute to believe what you're hearing.

"a-are you hearing yourself?" it's shocking, it really is, "this is crazy, why are you being so selfish right now?"

"because it feels good! okay?!" danielle has completely let go of the loose strings of morality she was holding on to, "it fucking feels good, a-and you make me feel good. i like it when we kiss, and i like it when we cuddle and, and, i just like it, okay?!" that's the first time you've heard danielle curse in your entire life.

"okay, well, i'm glad you did. but i don't. i don't feel good at all." it's so scary and risky because you're two seconds away from telling her the truth, and this could potentially damage both your careers irreversibly, but you can't think of any lie or excuse that is true enough to keep hiding it.

"i drown in guilt every time we kiss and i feel like i'm choking when you look at me these days."

you've never seen her look so confused, like she really doesn't understand you. because she never had to.

"why?"

"i am a lesbian, danielle." you can't shatter, not now. "and it kills me because you'll never understand how hard it is to hide like this for so long. and yes, we hide this casual thing from our members, but after this is over you don't have to hide anything at all and i still have to hide everything."

she says nothing. her eyes soften, but you can't read them. not like you ever could.

"i didn't catch feelings for you, but i could, and you're not helping out. and you don't have to worry about that. you don't have to worry about your members being disgusted at you for something you can't change. you don't have to pretend. you don't have to be scared that you're making someone uncomfortable by simply existing beside them. i had to pretend i didn't care when you kissed me, i had to pretend to be okay when you kissed me again. i've been pretending to be okay with so much i don't know what being okay is anymore."

danielle still says nothing.

"but that's all gone to shit now, hasn't it?" your voice can't break now, but it does anyway, even when your not done speaking. "i can't be okay with everything. i can't be casual about everything, danielle. not anymore." there's a hot tear running down your cheek, but you try to hold yourself together.

"i never want to hurt you, ever, danielle. but i am seriously hurting myself. i am eating myself from inside out. there's nothing casual about that."

"i think i might be in love with you." is the first thing she says in minutes. and that's when you shatter completely. you turn around to leave your mug of now cold tea on the counter and you rest your elbows on it to hide your face in your hands.

"do you think that helps?" you're sobbing.

"i'm sorry. i know it doesn't. i just had a moment of realization and i think that's why i was so upset. i didn't want you to end this because i was in love with you since the start and didn't realize."

"this is fucking crazy." it really is, that's why you can't hold down the laugh of complete astonishment that leaves your lips. "do you realize how crazy this is? i just came out to you and you're- i don't even want to think about this."

"i'm really sorry, y/n." it's the first time you see guilt in danielle's face in a long time. "i really am. i really didn't know, i- i didn't know anything at all."

"you were upset of me potentially having feelings for you when it was you the whole time, huh?" this is no time or place to make jokes, you're literally crying as you speak. but this is hilarious. danielle seems to think so too given she also laughs.

"i don't know what i was thinking." she says, hiding her face in her palm in embarrassment.

"i wish i knew too." you say, "i never do."

"so what now? i mean, you clearly don't like me back." you don't understand how danielle does it. she never looks away, she faces the truth, something you're unable to do easily.

"that's a good question, i actually never thought about that." i mean, you thought the possibility of danielle ever liking a woman, let alone you, was at a mere 0.1%, can you blame yourself for not thinking of a solution to this?

"i mean, you did say you could."

"selfish asshole." you mutter to yourself, but danielle hears it anyways. "hey!"

"i'm crying right in front of you out of fear and frustration, have some respect, dude."

"i would say it wouldn't hurt to try but it clearly does so i don't know what you want to do." wow, danielle really could never do anything to make you hate her. nothing at all. "i don't mind being the selfless one this time."

"cheesy." she's always been like that, you can't say you hate it. "i'll reheat my tea and think about it."

danielle waits for you. maybe it wouldn't be so bad to risk falling in love with her too. you've risked it once.

the microwave beeps and you take your mug out. it's hot again. you turn to face danielle and she's still there, hasn't moved an inch. "i'm willing to give it a try. but nothing casual."

she shines you the widest grin you've ever seen from her. "nothing was ever casual, i fear."

"i still can't believe you cursed." you say as you walk past her to go to your room (that probably smells like danielle's perfume again).

"i did?!" she trails behind you. you nod. "i almost jumped."

"hey, am i the first one to know?"

"what, that i'm a lesbian?" she nods, now beside you. you shake your head after a sip of your tea.

"hanni knew."

"i'm not even the first? fuck..." is she doing this on purpose... she has to be, right?

"dude? hello?"

"don't dude me, i'm your future girlfriend." she hits your arm as you walk into your room. you don't know what you're gonna say to hanni when she comes back.

"confident much? shut up and pick a movie to watch." you'll figure it out later.

end.

🗒️ this wasn't as long as i thought it was gonna be THANK GOD

[cattjull]

'𝔠𝔞𝔲𝔰𝔢 𝔦 𝔨𝔫𝔬𝔴 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔦𝔱'𝔰 𝔡𝔢𝔩𝔦𝔠𝔞𝔱𝔢

bsf!ellie x reader!!

SUMMARY: You get ready to a party with your best friend, but acting like you don't like her will be more difficult than ever tonight.

CW: r! is afab, r! shows her tits to ellie (?), alcohol game, and I think that´s all.

A/N: This took me forever to write but I really really liked how it turned out

PROMISE OF A DRUNK— It was kind of difficult to bring Ellie to a party. She would always complain about it being just loud music, alcohol and sex; but what's all that called together if not fun?

Probably what you most liked about parties was that you could get drunk and tell Ellie all you thought about her,how much you liked her, how hot she was, how much you loved seeing her with that reading glasses she wore sometimes... Because you could deny everything the next day. "I said that? what?" "I didn't do that" (whatever it was, yes you did) "Nah I don't trust you. I'm not the type to say that", you would say. It would seem weird for others but only you (and Ellie) knew how difficult it was to not confess to your best friend in the middle of watching a movie, or making bracelets, or having a sleepover. So yeah, sometimes getting drunk was a scape way to all your pretending.

After convincing Ellie to go to tonight's party, as you always did, she came around to you house in black jeans, a white tank top and a black leather jacket that—you'd never admit, made you go FERAL. The auburn watched you as you showed her your possible outfits: skirts and going out tops. You kinda noticed how she stared at some part (2 parts, if you want me to specify) of your body. Far from feeling harassed, you kinda enjoyed Ellie's gaze, like... She was just your best friend who liked watching you(r tits) and you were her best friend who liked... Her. So why not enjoying it?

"Oh, and-" you lifted your top, leaving your braless tits exposed to the air. "How are them? Like, they look good?" Her expression was completely shocked and in the matter of seconds her face turned red like a tomato. Completely.

"I, uh... They're good, yeah." She said and immediately covered her face with her hand and looked away, focusing her gaze in the floral pattern of your blanket.

"You didn't even look." You laughed. Then she turned to see your tits and the colour in her face intensified, if that was even possible. After like five seconds of being hypnotised, she finally looked up at your eyes.

"Good." She nodded. "Are you happy now?"

"I think you're the happy one here." You chuckled to yourself and took off the top completely, ready to try another outfit.

With Ellie's help you chose a midnight blue top with some black skirt and boots you didn't put on yet. Now it was makeup time. After less than 10 minutes, she started getting bored.

"When will you finish?"

"Not now."

She whined. Twenty minutes later, your sparkly blue makeup was done and when you turned around, you found Ellie sleeping, spread in your bed and a dumb smile formed in your lips. You sat beside her and looked at her eyelashes for a second, then at her lips. Oh, her lips. Impulsively, you leaned in and kissed her.

Her forehead. Because it didn't matter how bad you wanted to kiss her lips and how you dreamed about it (asleep or not), you couldn't do something she didn't allow you to, you just weren't able to. Maybe you loved her too much. You leaned in, getting your mouth close to her ear. You blew her, causing her to wake up suddenly and to sit up with a little scream.

"Hey! It's not fu- oh" Her almost inexistent amount of annoyance was replaced by... Something? when she saw your makeup. "Woah. You always surprise me." Her lips were parted now.

"I know." you shrugged cockily. "Are my eyelashes symmetrical?" You got closer and blinked a few times, looking at her beautiful green eyes. She couldn't help it and looked down at your tits. She dug her own grave and she knew it but come on, she couldn't help herself. And you obviously noticed this.

"My eyelashes." You repeated to Ellie in a teasing tone.

"I'm looking at your eyelashes!" She protested as her emerald gaze shifted to your eyes again. "They're symmetrical."

"The eyelashes too?" She hit your leg, a slight blush creeping onto her beautiful freckled cheeks.

"Shut up." Her reaction made you chuckle.

"Can i do your makeup?"

"Uh, just nothing weird."

"Just eyeliner?"

"Yeah, that will be good."

"Sit against the headboard please." Ellie obeyed you. She knew that was an excuse to sit on her lap, but she wanted you to so...

You took the bag from your night table, ready to do your job. You sat on her lap, with your legs on each side of that pretty black jeans of hers.

"Look upside." Ellie did as you said and you started doing your job.

You felt your cheeks turning a completely different colour when Ellie placed her hands in your waist. You wouldn't admit how nervous you got because of that, and Ellie wouldn't admit she too even though she was the one who made the move. While you traced small lines all around Ellie's eye line, you couldn't help but notice she had gotten red as well. Crimson red. Even though you would've loved to mock her about that, you were in the same position as her so you shut up, both of you enjoying the closeness and at the same time pretending absolutely nothing was going on between you, even knowing that if one of you pulled the other girl's face closer in a kiss none of you would pull back in a long, long time.

You kept doing her eyeliner, trying to ignore the indecent thoughts of Ellie that crossed your mind, mashing up the images of Ellie when she was changing in the same room as you with right now where you sat on her with some Twitter videos you'd never admit you watched. She's your best friend and just your best friend. She's your best friend and just your best friend. She's your best friend and just your best friend, you repeated mentally trying to sound convincing. After like 5 minutes you were done, and with a phew you announced you were done.

"I thought I was gonna screw it."

"Me too." Ellie received a small hit in her arm.

"Hey!" You complained.

"I was joking, you're incredible." She said as she sobbed her arm.

"Oh, don't flirt with me now."

"You're delusional." You smiled at that.

"Shut up. Are we going to the party now?"

You took an Uber to the house of someone you didn't actually know, but you were invited by some friend anyways.

In the way there, you leaned your head in Ellie's shoulder with tranquility. You thought that maybe, if you had done something impulsive when doing her eyeliner, probably both of you would've been tense now, but that didn't happen and that wasn't even important to you right now because, come on, you were in Ellie's shoulder and her head was leaning on yours. Yeah, you used to do that but that didn't mean you couldn't get nervous, and getting nervous didn't mean Ellie would notice that. (Did it?)

12 pm

Music came from the inside of the luxury building, inviting you to come inside. The night was young and there wasn't any drunk people yet, not enough to notice.

You entered inside the building and in the kitchen you could see one of your friends, Dina, which was Ellie's best friend and when she saw you immediately gestured for the two of you to join the group she was with with a friendly expression.

"We'll have fun." You said and dragged Ellie with you by her hand as if she didn't know how to walk by herself.

2 am.

The vodka bottle, almost in the half now, rested in the middle of the round. If you didn't want to answer a question, two sips. If you didn't want to fulfill the dare, four sips.

"Truth." The blonde named Lacy said tilting her head to the side with a smirk.

"Who do you like?" Jesse asked.

"Oh come on." You complained about the same basic question everyone always make in truth or dare, interrupting; half of your politeness always faded away with a little of alcohol in your system. "Ask something interesting."

"Shut up. It's interesting." Jesse defended himself.

"Sure."

"Well, I like some girl who has short hair and is right here." She answered when your little argument with Jesse finished, looked at Ellie and winking at her.

If Ellie had been sober, she would have frozen and stay awkwardly silent. But she wasn't, so she smirked with a noticeable red face, looking the girl she didn't know down, and scratched her ear. If you had been sober, you would have dissimulated and tease your friend about the situation. But you wasn't, so you glared at the girl with the most pure hatred before shifting your gaze to Ellie. YOUR Ellie.

You placed your hand in the Auburn's thigh casually, something Lacy didn't overlook. And she shouldn't, you were threatening the hell out of her.

Ellie is mine. Stay away. As simple as that. Ellie looked at you with a surprised smile.

"Oh?" She got closer, you were frozen at this and when your soul came back to your body she was whispering in your ear. "Are you jealous baby? Is that why you touch me like that? Because I think she likes me."

She blabbed with a dumb smile. What did she call you? BABY? Your face was burning now and all you hoped (Besides Lacy's death) was that Ellie didn't notice your nervousness, which you were almost 100% sure overflowed your body, being almost palpable.

"I'm not." You said taking credit away from the situation. Your hand still rested in Ellie's thigh, wishing to go up. Now was Lacy's turn, who looked at you like you invented global warming.

"Truth or dare, Els?" Sorry? Els? Come on, only you called her like that. And Dina sometimes. Who the fuck did she think she was? Just going there and calling your girlfriend like that as if-

"Dare." She smirked.

"I dare you to kiss me." OH NO YOU FUCKING-, you shouted in your head as your poor knuckles turned white because of how tight you were clenching your fists. Ellie came closer to... The bottle? She directed it to her mouth and drank four sips, making a disgust expression.

"Sorry girl, I'm taken." She smiled at her before sitting beside you again. Now she was the one touching your thigh, sending shivers all over your leg.

"Taken?" You asked with true curiosity.

"By you." A silly smile appeared on her lips. She got closer in an attempt to kiss you.

"What are you doing?" You giggled at Ellie's interest for you, which she only showed when she was this drunk or talking between dreams, two things you were used to pretend that didn't happen because god it would be so awkward for Ellie to tell her about that, to confront her, to ask her if she had any actual feelings for you. You moved your head to the side so she ended up kissing your cheek. You didn't even perceive if she behaved like this JUST because of the alcohol or if she actually liked you and it was more difficult to hide it after some drinks but you decided to not think about it much, not now. Ellie rand her hand down your thigh slightly, squeezing it a little.

"Truth or dare?" The Auburn asked you.

"Truth."

"Do you like me?"

[yourmidnightlover]

the story

pairing: mob!bucky barnes x reader

w/c: 3.5k+

summary: the weeks following bucky ordering that steve be your bodyguard, followed by an insightful night at a gala with your beloved husband.

warnings: mention of the incident with john (groping), slight threats of violence, mention of fear, lip on lip action (the upstairs ones), if i've missed anything please let me know!!

a/n: hiii! the third installment of my forever? series! i didn't even intend for this to be more than one part, but you guys have inspired me to write more for it! my writing schedule is a bit off since i recently started a new job, but i'll try to be a bit consistent with it. i hope you guys enjoy this next part, more to come!

part 2 -> control

the first few weeks with steve as a bodyguard wasn’t too bad. he was actually kinda funny in a grandpa kinda way, and he was an amazing listener. you had bounced a few ideas for your book off of him and he seemed to be very intrigued by some of the plot points you had planned. he even promised to be one of the first customers, right behind bucky (which you may have rolled your eyes at), of course, as long as he was promised a signed copy.

but, at the two month mark you began to miss your independence. of course, the chef bucky had hired was amazing and had years of experience in italian cuisine, but sometimes a girl just wanted some greasy smash burger to chow down on. most nights you ate alone with steve until bucky walked through the front door. 

he always seemed beaten down and tired, as though work was more straining than usual. he would shrug his jacket off, place it on the hook by the door, then his shoes on the rack, and walk upstairs to shower before coming downstairs to eat as you and steve were finishing your plates. you tried your best to start conversation, to be the best company you could but eventually the silence always grew awkward and steve would usher you to go upstairs to your room with a pressed smile. 

after two months of not really needing to show you off i any way, there was an important gala for him to attend. of course, that means that you were to be his beloved arm candy for the night. 

“buck sent me the address for a local boutique that he thinks would be right up your alley,” steve read from his phone as you took a stroll in the garden that was full of beautiful colors. “the appointment is at 3:45, so we have plenty of time to get ready and head there too. oh and he says you should get something in that one shade of green… i’m assuming you know what that is?” his brows raise in confusion, as your mirror his in a stunned expression. 

“surprisingly, i do know what he means for once.” about six weeks before the wedding, you had spent an all nighter with him amidst all of the chaotic planning. 

“accent colors are super important! right now, all we have is an off white color, and while it’s a good color, i don’t want my wedding to wash everyone out that much,” you shoved his side as you sprawled your binders out on the coffee table. 

“i say… green,” he says after pondering for a minute. 

“green… like tree green?” you chuckled at the notion. 

“i mean the green that’s light yet earthy, not too dark but not scream-in-your-face bright. it’s beautiful. plus, i think you’d look stunning in it,” he shrugs casually as if he hadn’t described a mundane color in such an alluring way.

“so a sage green?” 

“maybe more on the jade green side,” he tried to hide a smile as his thumb began to mindly trace nonsense on your thigh. 

there was such elegance in the way he described the simple color, as if saying light green wouldn’t have sufficed. clearly, there was a significance to the mundane shade that he felt the need to recommend it. 

but you knew not to ask anything further to pry, doubting his readiness to comply so easily so early in your relationship. while it was during the happiest days of your relationship, you still knew he held you at arms length. 

at the appointment, you had found several dresses in the perfect color, but only one stood out to you after trying them on. steve was also a good guide in ensuring you were choosing the right one, although you’re sure he would just say every dress looked good regardless. 

growing up, you’d read about a love that was so encapsulating that one would rather face death than be without their lover. you’d yearned for that kind of love. the kind of love that was consuming and irreversible. the kind of love where your partner wouldn’t love you in spite of your flaws, but because of them. 

and now you were married to a man who didn’t seem to feel an ounce of that towards you. sure, the months leading up to your wedding made it seem otherwise. it made you hopeful that he could maybe grow to love you, as you could grow to love him. 

because truthfully, it was hard to see many flaws in the man, other than those that were rumored in the tabloids. you’d read or heard of his anger issues and his lack of patience but abundance of irritability. yet all you’d observed is his laughter, his diligence and compassion. 

it was definitely confusing to want to believe these two contradicting tales of composure, but ultimately seeing is believing. you’d decided to believe whatever he showed you, what was right in front of his face rather than believe whatever was whispered in your ear. besides, if something was worth believing it should be said with their full chest rather than in such a low tone. 

-

“almost ready?” bucky’s low voice rang through the door as you were doing finishing touches on your hair, making sure you looked as presentable as possible. 

“i just have to put the dress on, and i’ll be ready to go!” you replied, unzipping the bag that the dress came in, even though you suggested that doing so was overkill.

“let me know if you need any help.” you heard a thud from the other side that suggested that he was leaning against the door, waiting to hear if you did happen to need any assistance. 

you replied in silence, just stepping into the dress and lifting the straps over your shoulders. it was such a beautifully made gown, truly. it hugged you in the most flattering places, accentuating just the right amount without flaunting too much. the material felt like a warm hug from a lifelong friend, you almost never wanted to take it off. 

the only downside was the damn zipper. it was a bit rough to pull over your hips alone, but once you reached your mid back it seemed to reach a snagging stop. you twisted your arms every way possible, trying to avoid the totally cliche scene of calling him in to zip you up. 

alas, the universe had other plans for you. although, how much could you complain when that would mean his rough, yet gentle hands would be against your skin…

“...bucky?” your voice meekly called out, trying to interrupt your own thoughts from spiralling down the path you wanted them to so bad. 

“yea?” his voice piped up, seeming to jump an octave or two in the process. maybe you jst startled him. 

“could you maybe help me zip this thing up?” you became quiet before the twisting of your doorknob broke the silence. “my arms can’t quite contort the way they need to in order to zip this all the way…” you refused to meet his eyes as he trailed inside the room. 

the first sign of his presence was his hands grasping your shoulders, lightly tracing down your arms. then he leaned down to press a kiss to your bare shoulder, more affectionate than he’d been the entire duration of your marriage without it being prompted. 

“you look beautiful,” he pressed another kiss to your other shoulder before letting his hands fall to a respectable place on your waist, stepping back to seemingly find where the zipper got stuck. “but what’s new, right?”

you chuckled at the compliment. 

“what’ve you been doing recently?” you asked meekly. “i haven’t seen you much at all since steve started his new gig as my babysitter.”

he sighed, stopping his antics to clarify what he felt he needed to. “he’s not a babysitter. he’s my best friend, and the only person i trust to look after the woman that i-the woman that i married, okay?” you felt his deep breathing on your neck before he continued, “i don’t know where john is yet. john is notorious for taking whatever he thinks is his and that night he made it very clear what he believed.” he turned you around to face him, the dress’ zipper be damned. “if anything happens to you… just the thought keeps me up at night. i need you to understand,” his voice was desperate, pleading almost. 

you understood what he was saying. at least, you were pretty sure you did. men in positions of power like bucky typically saw the people around them as pawns. part of you thinks that he’s saying all of this as the controlling, possessive boss man bucky. and that’s the large part of you. but the small part of you, the part of you that still believes in that fairytale love you used to read about, believes that maybe he’s saying all of this because he does feel something for you… something real. 

but that part of you is like… 15 percent. maybe 20…

“i understand,” you nodded, meeting his eyes and seeing desperation, fear. seeing fear radiating from a man that projects a version of himself that’s fearless is a scary thing. 

“good,” he nodded, his eye contact faltering to the dress that clung to your body. “you look indescribable, i’m a lucky man to call you mine.” once again, he grasped your shoulders to turn you around.

this time, he promptly found the zipper, his metal hand tracing nonsensical patterns on your shoulder as he zipped the dress with his flesh one. 

“all done,” he pressed a lingering kiss to your right shoulder. “my beautiful bride.” you wanted to believe him. 

“thank you,” you took a deep breath as you turned to face him. “so, tonight… what should i be expecting?” “well, there are a few people i’ll introduce you to, and a few i have to talk to. but i’ll be with you the whole time,” he pressed his hands into his pockets. “i scheduled a car to take us, and we have about 10 minutes before it should get here.”

“so we’ll be playing the roles of loving wife and doting husband?” you nudged his shoulder before you went to grab your shoes. 

“playing? this is all real, sweetheart,” he took the shoes from your hands, promptly dropping to his knees. 

“what are you-”

“i’m putting your shoes on, my love.” you chuckled before he guided your hand to his shoulder. “gonna want to hold on.” he picked up one of your legs by your calf, grabbing the correct shoe before slowly placing your foot inside and doing the same for your other shoe.

meanwhile, you were stuck staring down at him like a lovesick idiot. this behemoth of a man was beneath you treating you like a princess by putting your heels on for you. what the hell kind of alternate universe have you entered and how can you never leave?

“well, aren’t you a romantic?” you cleared your throat as he remained on his knees, a sight you could get used to. 

“don’t let the news spread around town,” he chuckled as he let your remaining foot hit the ground but not without pressing a kiss to your ankle. “i can’t have others knowing how enamored i am by you, can we?” “enamored?” you chuckled out. “what a word,” you shook your head as you helped him to his feet. 

“the perfect word.” he trailed his hand to a loose strand of hair, twirling it around his flesh fingers before he sighed, “the car should be here soon. we should head downstairs for it.”

it was a 45 minute ride there. you sat in a respectable silence, this time it wasn’t as awkward as it has been in the past. upon arrival, the door was swiftly opened for you, bucky getting out first and then offering his hand to help you step out. the first thirty minutes of the gala went very similarly. he would introduce you to a new face or say ‘hello’ to a familiar one, wrap his arm snugly around your waist before pressing a kiss to your cheek and move on to the next person. 

for a bunch of folks in banking and finance, everything seemed very high stakes. there seemed to be walls up all around you, from each man and woman you said a brief hello to or were meeting for the first time. everyone had decided to adorn a mask for the night, or maybe the mask was a semi-permanent fixture. maybe they’d worn the mask for so long they forgot how to function without one. you hoped you wouldn’t face the same fate.

to be doomed to fake face for so long that you no longer remember what was once real. you wanted something real, even if what you and bucky had was technically fake when you were in public. something about what happened behind closed doors when nobody was around gave you the illusion that part of it was real. 

“have i told you how ravishing you look tonight?” bucky held you close as you swayed to the soft melody. his metal hand was clutching your waist, his flesh hand holding your own.

“i think in different words, yes,” you both began to laugh at his flattery. “you don’t have to keep doing that, y’know? the compliments and everything… i think people get the idea that this is real by now.”

“you don’t get it, do you?” he shook his head before he moved his vibranium hand to your chin, nudging it up for you to meet his eyes. 

“get what?”

“buck,” steve’s voice interrupted your dance, but that didn’t stop bucky from pulling you taut to his side.

steve leaned in to whisper in his ear, but you were able to tell by his stone cold expression that whatever message that was being relayed to him wasn’t as delightful as the desserts from tonight. 

“when?” you barely registered bucky’s low voice over the music. 

steve went back to whispering in his ear and it wasn’t until he pulled back that you wanted to speak up, “what’s going on?”

bucky looked down to you, and when you looked into his eyes, what you saw was very similar to your earlier conversation with him. this time, however, there seemed to be anger buried beneath the stoic traces of fear. that’s when it clicked.

“did they find him?” his jaw clenched and unclenched.

“you told her about-”

“i told her what she deserves to know,” bucky interrupted steve’s accusatory tone. “you don’t get to question me or the decisions i make, especially not when those decisions are in regards to my wife.”

you weren’t sure if bucky was defending you or himself with the way he jumped on steve’s gears. 

“okay, got it,” steve rse his hands in defense before he nodded. 

“what steve was telling me was in regards to him, yes,” bucky clarified. “but it’s nothing important for you to need to know. you don’t have to worry about it, my love,” he let his flesh hand play with that same strand of hair as earlier as he looked down at you like his prized possession. 

oh yea, you almost forgot. that’s what you are to him. his trophy wife, as much as you hate that phrase. 

“when can we go home?” a shiver ran down your spine. what would john even do if he did get his hands on you? was he actually as bad as bucky made him seem, or was he worse? you gripped bucky’s arm tighter as thoughts raced through your brain. 

“hey,” he turned to face you again, his eyes no longer reflecting anger or fear but tenderness. “if you want to leave, we’ll leave. steve can get the car,” he turned briefly to steve who nodded before walking off, “we can talk on the way home. i can tell how many questions are running through that pretty head of yours right now. but i can assure you,” he cupped your face in his hands, and the contrast between the cold metal and the warm flesh was oddly grounding, “as long as your with me, or steve for that matter, you won’t have anything to worry about. i would do anything it takes to keep you safe.”

you nodded, pressing your lips together in a fine line, maybe a bit of doubt running in your head at the lengths he would go to in order to protect you. would he really go to the lengths necessary? would his hand be forced to do that? 

“how bad would it be if i admitted that i was scared right now?” you couldn’t meet his eyes as you admitted it. 

“it’s not bad at all. in fact, i understand. i just hope that you know that this is why steve is watching out for you now,” he dropped his hands to your shoulders, down your arms to hold your hands. 

“will you-would you be up for staying with me tonight?” you popped the question, almost scared of his answer. “like… like you did that night? i don’t really want to be alone tonight.”

“you don’t have to explain,” he smiled. “of course i’ll stay with you.”

the ride home was similar to the ride there, but this time with your head rested on his chest, his arms wrapped snugly around you. you’re sure he thought you were asleep when he pressed a kiss to your forehead. it also wasn’t beneath you to say you liked when he did it…

so much so that you apparently did fall sleep. when you woke up, it was wrapped in strong arms. you strained your neck to look at the clock beside your bed, the one that read 2:35 am. turning in bed to look at bucky, you realized you’d never seen him so peaceful. his hair had grown out a bit long, evident by the way it laid across his forehead. 

when you moved the few locks of hair from his forehead, he began to stir awake. 

“shhh,” you hummed softly. “it’s just me. sorry i woke you.”

“don’t be sorry,” his raspy voice was alluring this early in the morning, or was it late? “i don’t think i’ve slept this good since… well, since that night.”

“are you a secret cuddler, mr. barnes?” you smiled as he pulled you in a smidge tighter as he replied. 

“and what if i am?” “there are no complaints coming from me,” he pressed yet another kiss to yourforehead, then your cheek, your other cheek, and then you pulled back to look in his eyes again. 

the only light that was peaking through was from the hallway underneath the door, but that didn’t stop you from being able to see the bright smile decorating his face, a rare sight to see. 

“how bad would it be if i admitted that i really wanted to kiss you right now?” his thumb trailed across your bottom lip, gently pulling it down and watching it bounce back into place.

“it’s not bad at all,” you let your eyes find his lips before looking into his eyes once more. 

he made the first move, taking his flesh hand and cupping your face before he softly met your lips with his. every other kiss you’d had with him had been for show, cameras or people around to witness and aww at the romantic antics of the newlyweds. this one wasn’t for show. this was purely authentic. gentle, soft, delicate. for a man like bucky, you figured he wasn’t like this very often. this was a side of him not many other people got the privilege of witnessing. 

he was precise in his movements, every swipe of his tongue and every placement his hand made was deliberate, yet he was so tender. the soft grasp of your hair, the easy glide of his hand that began to hold your waist. it was all so consuming, in the best way possible. in the way that you wanted to drown in his presence. 

when you sweeped one of your legs over his, now perched on his lap, you felt him smile against your lips. 

“you’re astounding,” he breathed into you. “breathtaking,” he rearranged his hips, accidentally brushing his hardon against your center. “shit.”

“sorry,” you smiled against him as you pulled back, resting your forehead against his. 

“nothin’ to apologize for,” he shook his head with a laugh. “i mean, you are my wife an’ all.”

“i know, but,” taking a deep breath, you tried to figure out how to word what you wanted to say to him. you came up with nothing. “i don’ know. it’s different. we haven’t necessarily been the most affectionate since our wedding.”

“i didn’t think you wanted anything more,” his face shone with disbelief. “i didn’t want you to think you were forced to be ‘affectionate’ with me. you didn’t really want to marry me in the first place. i realize that.”

were you not this puppet in his master show? some play thing for him to own and display whenever he pleased? had every story you’d heard about him been nothing but that… just stories? could this story of you and him have a happy ending?

tags:

@blackbirdwitch22

@onceithough

@learisa

@mrsnikstan

@cjand10

@mrs-bucky-barnes-73

@armystay89

@adesum

@greatenthusiasttidalwave

@loki-laufeyson68

if you'd like to be added to the tag list, please just leave a comment or message me!

[another-lost-mc]

Mammon reaps the rewards of a certain arrangement he has with Lucifer.

THE HOUSE ALWAYS WINS | Mammon x gn!Reader x Lucifer

Content Warnings: NSFW. Established Lucifer x Reader. Prompt: Lucifer gets cucked by Mammon (by invitation/with consent). Mammon-centric POV (unreliable narrator). Mentions of gambling. Some jealousy/possessiveness and self-deprecation/angst. Oral sex (Mammon and Reader receiving); nipple play, fingering/prep and penetrative sex (Reader receiving); implied masturbation; biting and marking; lowkey scent kink. 3.3k words no we're not going to talk about it

A/N: This is my contribution to the @ficsforgaza Kinktober event! Please check out the other fics and show the authors some love for their amazing work this month.

Sometimes it starts with a glance. A brief look across the dining room table or across the student council chambers at RAD. The weight of Lucifer’s gaze is its own unspoken question, an invitation and a challenge issued wordlessly in one fell swoop. Mammon can sense the anticipation that radiates off you as a promise of what’s to come once night falls, the decadent sins that ripple through your soul and overwhelm his senses like waves against the shore. Where denying Lucifer something is like a bad habit, denying you something you want goes against everything he believes in as your first. His brother’s arrogance and condescension makes his teeth ache with the urge to draw blood; the love and lust in your eyes when you look at him makes his heart race and his cock throb instead.

This little arrangement they have has no schedule. It's uncharacteristically impulsive, at least where Lucifer is concerned, and there's probably a complex set of circumstances when Lucifer offers Mammon an invitation to join. To partake. And to date, Mammon has never refused.

Tonight's offer catches the second-born completely by surprise. Mammon is at the casino when he feels the familiar bzzzt of his D.D.D. vibrating in his back pocket. The mountain of chips in front of him is a glorious sight; he’s been on a ruthless winning streak since he walked into the casino nearly three hours ago and he’s ecstatic with the fortune he’s earned so far.

Among the Devildom elite, it's a well-established fact that the only thing more entertaining than watching Mammon in the throes of a losing streak, making reckless bets and getting more riled up by each loss, is his unrivaled excitement and infectious luck when he wins. He's in his element in a place like this, and the Avatar of Greed lives up to his name when there's plenty of coin in his pocket. Gathered around the table where he has made himself comfortable this evening, there’s a large crowd surrounding the table, eager to witness the sight for themselves. demons hoping to challenge the Great Mammon with bets of their own for the smallest chance to take him down a peg or two. Some demons get close to him in hopes that his good luck will rub off on them too. Others are simply curious to see what else this promising night will bring if they stick around to find out.

There’s not much that would drag Mammon away from the promise of an exorbitant amount of Grimm that awaits him by the time the casino closes for the night. The money he’s won so far is already spoken for: the new seasonal launch at Majolish he wants to buy for himself (and for you), new detailing and mechanical upgrades for his precious car. Hell, he might even pay off some of his debts with what's left over just to get Lucifer off his ass about it for a change.

He doesn't think twice as he pulls out his D.D.D. and swipes his thumb across the screen, breath catching as he reads the brief message that awaits him. Mammon can’t tell whether Lucifer's words are meant to be a friendly invitation or an arrogant summons. Both possibilities irk him in ways he can’t explain, but Mammon blames it on poor timing as Lucifer's tempting yet sudden proposal threatens to derail what would otherwise be a very profitable evening.

Since the very beginning, you and Lucifer both assured him that he could participate at his leisure. He had no obligations to indulge their whims, no repercussions or hurt feelings if he refused.

(He has no doubt Lucifer might find a way to punish him for his refusal later, but that threat pales to your own disappointment that Mammon knows you have difficulty hiding from him at the best of times, and isn't something he ever wants to do - not if he can avoid it.)

Mammon shuffles the dice in his hand and glances at the waiting challengers seated at the table nearby and mulls over his options quickly. He can ignore the message - try to pretend he didn’t see it - and see where his rare lucky streak takes him. Or, he can return home earlier than planned and indulge in a little bit of sin of a different variety.

It's almost embarrassing how quickly his mind's made up because he’s already getting up from his seat, waving over an attendant to cash out his winnings while placating the disappointed crowd with bland, half-hearted apologies. What he realizes later, once he stops sulking about his wasted good luck by the time he drives home, is that you are, undeniably and without a doubt, the best prize he could've hoped for tonight.

Mammon has a vague idea of what to expect when he raps his knuckles roughly on the dark wood grain of Lucifer’s bedroom door. When he got home, he spared a few minutes to shower so the stench of the casino and countless faceless demons didn't cling to his skin like sweat. His white hair darkens in damp curls at the back of his neck, and a pair of loose sleep pants hang low on his hips. He didn’t bother putting on a shirt or underwear - he won’t be dressed long enough for it to matter. After the discomfort of pulling his tight denim jeans over his erection earlier, hard and cramped inside the thick and unyielding material as he swore and fumbled with his zipper, he’s glad for the loose fabric that brushes teasingly against his bare skin now. 

There's a soft patter of footsteps before the door swings open. Inside the room is dark except for a few flickering candles and the light from the hallway that spills across your face, illuminating your dark, lust-blown eyes and mischievous smile when you see him.

His vision is still spotty as he adjusts to the drastic shift from light to dark when you pull him inside the room and push him against the door, effectively slamming it shut, and his sputtered greeting trails off into a sharp curse when you waste no time tugging his pants down his thighs as you fall gracefully to your knees. Your delighted hum as you wrap your lips around the head of his cock leaves him gasping; his fingers curl around the back of your head encouragingly as you flick over the slit and lap up the beads of pre-come before you bob your head, shallowly at first and then faster as your mouth stretches around him, while his hands guide your rhythm without pushing too forcefully. 

His cock grazes the back of your throat, muffling your moans when you pull back teasingly to lave over the slit and lick the underside of his shaft just to swallow him down again. Your fingers curl around the base of his erection where your mouth can’t reach, pumping him with the same rhythm as your mouth sliding up and down his length, and it sends him spiraling towards his release. It’s fast and desperate and perfect. His own desire echoes in the wet, worshipful look in your eyes when you glance at him from beneath your lashes, the way your free hand strokes his hip and caresses his thigh and cups the warm, heavy weight of his balls as you urge him closer to the edge.

He can smell your own arousal permeating the air and knows it's probably staining the flimsy fabric of your underwear. He fantasizes about pushing aside the sticky fabric with his fingers - or perhaps ripping through it with his fangs - and then he finally comes with a hoarse shout, with the phantom taste of your cum on the tip of his tongue as he pants your name between deep, shuddering breaths. When he blinks the haze of his orgasm from his eyes, the sight of you kneeling at his feet and palming yourself through your clothes, lips dark and shiny with spit and eyes begging him for more, is nearly enough to completely unravel his self-control.

He lifts you into his arms and carries you effortlessly across the room before dropping you onto Lucifer’s oversized bed with a heated grin. You crawl up the mattress and lay back against the soft, dark sheets as he kneels on the edge of the bed and crawls over you, kicking off his pants and baring his fangs in a smirk. He's already half-hard eager for more; his cock hangs heavily between his legs, bobbing between his belly and your thighs as he positions himself over you, and smearing the first drops of his renewed arousal across your skin. 

Subtle movement across the room catches Mammon’s eye, and he wonders how he nearly forgot Lucifer’s presence. It’s not unusual for Lucifer to observe quietly while Mammon takes you apart for his viewing pleasure. Mammon’s actually grateful for his brother’s silence most of the time because he can pretend it’s just the two of you, the way he would prefer, but this is the next best thing.

(He tells himself it’s not pathetic to crave these moments with you that he’s allowed to have, when the only other alternative is not having you at all.)

Mammon ignores the tall shadow in the periphery of his vision, with its sharp smirk and blood-red eyes, as he peels off your clothes, tugging off your shirt first followed by your sleep pants and underwear.

(Wet, just like he knew they would be).

He leans down and one slow, soft kiss turns into many, filthy and deep and all-consuming. The room is quiet except for the slick sounds of lips and tongues grazing each other, punctuated lightly by thready moans and contented sighs. He can taste a hint of blood when he sucks on your bottom lip with too much enthusiasm and kicks you with one of his fangs. He licks across the cut in apology before slowly sliding down your body, eager to make it up to you in other ways.

He drags his mouth along your jaw, nipping down the column of your throat and littering your neck and collarbone with red marks shaped like his mouth, indents of his teeth that are likely to bruise by tomorrow, and presses you into the sheets as he slowly eases down your body.

(He hopes the fresh spritz of citrusy cologne he applied before coming here overpowers the barely-there traces of spice and smoke from the cologne that Lucifer wears instead.)

Gooseflesh follows the trail of his greedy hands and mouth as he continues his ministrations. He flicks his tongue across your nipples and rubs your chest with his palms, smoothing his hands over the curve of your belly before easing them gently between your legs and prying them open so he can settle comfortably between them. One lube-slicked finger works you open, dipping inside with shallow thrusts, scissoring gently to stretch you wide enough to take his cock, and he exhales hotly between lazy kisses along the tops of your thighs. His eyes glance upward and drink in the delightful arch of your back as your legs gently lock him in place as he alternates pumping three thick fingers inside you with the devilish curl of his tongue so he can taste you too.

He could stay buried between your legs all night, knuckle-deep and mouthing at your arousal, but each moan and broken gasp of his name shoots through him from the tinted tips of his hair all the way to his toes, and it’s all he can do to control his own lust and resist the urge to rut against the bed. He might only come once more tonight, and he’ll be damned if he spills himself over Lucifer's thousand-count-sheets instead of inside you (where he belongs).

Usually when Mammon fucks you, he likes to see your face. The way your desire for him shines in your eyes, how your skin warms with sweat and flushes from his attention. He hoards all those reactions to think about later when he misses you and jerks off to the memory of your body pressed against his, opening up and falling apart like he’s the only one in the world that gets to see you like this.

As he holds himself above you, balancing his weight on his hands while he kneels between your legs, he glimpses your arm thrown across the mattress, fingers stretched out towards the corner of the room where Lucifer watches from the darkness. You haven't said his brother's name, but the silent plea is just as visceral, and Mammon tugs your hands above your head and pins both your wrists down firmly, but not enough to hurt. He growls deep in his chest, eyes narrowing slightly in warning, but you squirm beneath him helplessly, urging him to keep going. It turns you on when he gets a little jealous and no matter what he says or does, you know that he won’t hurt you. 

For the first time tonight, Lucifer makes a noticeable sound at that little display - an amused huff of laughter that adds a hint of embarrassment and shame to the desire coiling deep inside of Mammon. He knows Lucifer can probably feel the indignant flicker of pride along with the waves of greed and lust that overwhelm him. It’s natural that their sins feed off each other - that’s part of what makes this so damn good for both of them. But when Mammon risks glancing at his brother for a moment and expects Lucifer is watching his display of jealous insecurity with an arrogant sneer, something like approval flickers in his crimson gaze instead.

The moment of pettiness and mutual understanding passes, and Mammon shakes his head and refocuses on the task at hand. He shushes you even as you wriggle your hips and rub yourself against him, trying to coax his cock, slick with lube and dribbles of pre-come, into your stretched and eager and very empty hole. The angle’s not quite right but the faintest bit of pressure of his tip catching the rim before slipping past, over and over as you whine and tremble in frustration, is enough to disperse all his self-deprecating thoughts so all he sees and hears and wants is you.

Your voice cracks pathetically when you beg him to please, please, please fuck you already, and he’s nearly undone by the sudden heat that envelops him when he digs his fingers into your hips and finally pushes inside, firm and deep in one smooth thrust. He holds himself steady even though every spark of white-hot pleasure ricocheting through his body is practically screaming for more, to take what you offer him so willingly and consume you until there's nothing left.

He waits patiently for you to adjust. His meticulous prep beforehand still doesn’t compare to the way he stretches you open with his cock. It’s a sight that leaves him breathless every time and he can't help but stare greedily, transfixed as he moves deeper inside you, inch by tantalizing inch, until he's fully seated and has claimed you for himself. Only when your trembling legs tighten around his waist and your nails dig deep into his shoulders and scratch down his back, giving him a dreamy smile and a nod, does he finally start to move. 

He starts with a few tentative pumps of his hips but he has no patience for slow, drawn-out lovemaking tonight. It feels like he’s teetering on the edge of a knife with a lit fuse deep in his gut that’s already close to bursting. Usually he teases you with slow, languid strokes, alternating deep and shallow thrusts, drawing back and holding himself still before burying himself to the hilt over and over again.

Tonight there’s no no finesse, no tenderness, no teasing games to see which of you breaks first. His body moves with purpose, fueled by raw power and the lust that clouds his mind. He fucks you hard and deep, and he can’t hear the creaking springs of the mattress over the sharp thud of the headboard that bangs against the wall from the force of his movements. He leans forward and braces himself on his forearm so he can sneak the other hand between your bodies and stroke you clumsily with his fingers to help you finish when he does. He knows he’s not going to last long, not with the quick, rough snap of his hips as he fucks you.

(Lucifer's presence, still cloaked in shadow in the corner of the room, makes him feel more sensitive and exposed - but he senses his brother's own desperation as Lucifer's greed swells too, reverberating in the sin he knows so well, and part of him is grateful that they're both hurtling towards the edge of lust-fueled madness, together.)

When you come, it's with a shaky moan beneath him. The pulsing heat tightening around his cock sends Mammon hurtling towards his own release. He rides out the aftershocks of his orgasm with lazy, stuttered thrusts.

(A deep groan and a soft curse resonates briefly in Mammon's awareness, the only indication that Lucifer must've brought himself to orgasm watching you both fall apart in his bed.)

After fucking his cum back inside you, as deep as he can until he’s too sensitive and has to pull out, Mammon enjoys a brief sense of primal satisfaction that he’s left a trace of himself behind, one that’ll hopefully linger long after he’s gone for the night.

He kisses you again, gentle and sweet, and helps you settle on your side before getting up on wobbly legs to find something nearby he can wipe you clean with. He’s not completely surprised that Lucifer’s already approaching the bed with a warm cloth for each of you. Mammon who wipes his hands and the wet patch of hair around the base of his cock gingerly before using the other clean towel to wash carefully between your legs. Afterwards, he tosses both of them towards the laundry hamper nearby. It's a good effort, but a miss - the messily rolled-up cloths land on the carpeted floor with a wet little plop.

(He's worn out and his hands are still trembling slightly from the exertion, but he's not about to tell his brother that.)

Next, Mammon busies himself looking for his sleep pants among the rumpled pile of discarded clothes on the floor and wonders how Lucifer can still look so prim and proper in comparison. As he tugs his pants up over his legs, he looks closer at his older brother and feels vindicated that he's not nearly as unaffected as he pretends to be. There's a faint sheen of sweat beading along his brother’s hairline and greying temples, and a healthy pink flush colours his cheeks. The only hint that Lucifer lost control of himself at some point during the proceedings are his slacks that sit low on his slim waist, unbuttoned and unzipped, with a glimpse of silky black boxer briefs peeking out through the opening.

They don't exchange useless pleasantries at the door except for a murmured good night and Mammon's lazy wave over his shoulder as he spins around and waltzes back to his bedroom. He flops down in his own bed and breathes deeply, enjoying the tingly afterglow and scent of your arousal still wafting off his skin. He looks thoroughly fucked with sweat-slicked and messy hair from your fingers running through it. The bite mark in his left shoulder, your effort to muffle your cry when you came, and the scratches in his back sting and ache deliciously when he rolls around in his sheets and drifts off to sleep, weary and so utterly content.

(If he wears a sleeveless shirt tomorrow that shows off the crescent ring of teeth bruising his shoulder, it's no one's business but his own.)

Read More: Obey Me Masterlist

[gatorlovebot]

nsfw. mdni. this is self indulgent but its my right as a 20 something who is getting ready to move out on their own for the first time to write about landlord john price ok <3

landlord price who buys a nice looking duplex in the city and fixes it up himself. lives in the top floor because he doesn’t need much space to himself and rents out the bottom unit. so far it had mostly been couples or smaller familes renting out the bottom unit, until you came along.

you, who had been saving money to rent something nice for yourself, something with a little extra space. the two bedroom downstairs unit is perfect for you, but you have pretty mixed feelings about your landlord living right above you. until you actually meet him.

upon moving in your greeted by the warm accent of john price. his eyes crinkle when he smiles at you and you can pick out grey hairs in his full beard. it’s so cliche, feeling butterflies for an older man whose kind to you but what are you supposed to do when he offers to help you bring in boxes, muscly arms on full display?

he allows you time and space to get settled in, with a promise of, “i’m just upstairs if you ever need anything.”

you don’t see him for the next few days until there’s a knock at your door and its him, looking soft and sweet in a grey henley, just in time for the colder fall weather. “would you care to join me for dinner? i tried a new soup recipe and seems like a i have enough to feed a small army.”

and that’s how you end up in his space for the first time. it’s tiday yet lived in. furniture dark and worn. you can tell a man lives here. dinner is nice, soup rich and filling. but john makes it so much better. effortlessly making you laugh with his bad jokes and stories. he’s warm and personable. your little crush grows when he walks you back downstairs to your unit when the sun goes down. you find yourself struggling to go inside to your empty apartment.

some days you see him and some days you don’t. your work schedule is consistent but you can’t get a read on his schedule, coming and going unpredicatably. life of a retiree, you think.

sometimes you catch him when you’ve come home from work. usually you’re thrilled to see him, an immediate smile stretching across your face and a blush on your cheeks as soon as you see his smile and hear his voice.

sometimes you curse his presence. like now, when you can’t even wait until you get inside your place before the tears start to fall. and of course john has to be in the front yard racking up leaves. you try to give a polite hello and walk up the steps inside, but john price can already read you like a book.

he’s pulling you into his chest before you even know it, big, solid arms wrapped around your shoulders holding you snug to him. “what’s got you so upset, huh?”

and you let the tears fall in earnest, feeling safe and secure with john. “work…just fucking sucks.”

“oh you poor thing,” he coos before gathering you up in his arms and leading you up to his place. he brews some tea as you sink into his couch, the leather warm and soft underneath you. once the teas done, he settles next to you and let’s you warble on about how unsupportive your work environment is and how your boss never follows through on his promises. he mostly just lets you talk, letting out an occasional hum in affirmation. that night he’s not very talkative, he’s much more tactile. running his hands up and down your arms, rubbing the tension from your shoulders and back as he allows you to lean on him until you’re practically in his lap. you’ve exhausted yourself crying and he thanks you for being so vulnerable with him and tells you that even though you don’t deserve all the bullshit at your job, you’re such a brave girl for fighting through it.

things continue to get more and more comfortable between you two. you would almost go as far as to say you would consider him a friend. you do still sometimes have awkward moments though. like when you go down to the basement to change your laundry from the washer to the dryer and you find him already placing your garments in. “oh sorry,” he says, flustered, a tinge of pink dusting his cheeks at being caught. “i spilt some paint on myself earlier while touching up the trim outside and really needed to get some stuff in the washer. i was going to message you asking if all this stuff could go in the dryer.”

he’s so thoughtful, you think. “yeah, it can all go in. thanks, john!”

hours later when you’re finally putting away your clean laundry you realize some of your panties are missing. oh well, its an older dryer, must have eaten them.

its months layer when your stomach drops as you read a text from john asking if you could come upstairs later tonight, there was something he needed to talk to you about. you feel a flash of panic, his text sounding serious. did you do something wrong? you had just seen him the previous day and everything between you seemed fine. you thought you were a great renter, but now you weren’t so sure.

you make your way up to his place and he greets you at the door, usual soft smile on his face.

“i just wanted to get something out in the open,” he starts as you both take a seat on the couch. “i’ve noticed an odor coming from downstairs late at night.”

for a moment you have no idea what he could be talking about, an odor, you think and then it hits you. your late night smoke sessions. “oh, yeah.” it dawns on you. “i’m so sorry about that.”

“no, no, it’s fine.” he reassures, “i would be a bit of a hypocrite myself to be honest, i smoke cigars constantly. try to keep it to just the back balcony but sometimes i break my own rules.”

“yeah, i don’t do it in the apartment because that would be rude, but,” you wince, “sometimes i get a little too lazy to go outside so i just do it out my bedroom window.”

“ah, no worries, dear. just wanted to let you know that i know.”

with your panic subsiding you feel a little bold, “would you like to smoke a little, john?”

“if you’re offering, i’ll be on the balcony.”

you would have never imagined sharing a joint with john would lead you here. in his lap, legs splayed open with your pants around your ankles. listening to the wet sounds of your pussy as he dips his big fingers inside you, hitting all the right spots. your brain is floaty and your limbs feel weightless against his big body that surrounds yours.

there’s a constant stream of nonsense and whimpers that leaves your lips as you dumbly watch him pet your swollen clit. but its the filth from his mouth that really gets you. “such a pretty little thing fo’ me, huh?”

“this little cunt ‘s all mine, right?”

“i’ve been thinking about touching you like this since the day you moved in.”

“cum on my fingers, sweet girl, i know you want to.”

and you do, clenching around his fingers as you keen and moan through it. there’s a whispered, “good girl,” deep and gravelly in your ear before you’re being lifted into john’s arms as he carries you back inside, to his bedroom.

[etherfabric]

How the Universe provides for you + Songs

Choose a pile by which picture you resonate with the most.

If your mind is too busy to clearly decide, take a few deep breaths, and use the finger of your non-dominant hand to hover over the images. One will give off the most subtle yet prominent signals, like tingles, a magnetic pull, or temperature. This is your pile. Multiples are also possible.

You are the ultimate authority over your life. I merely provide my perspective. Sometimes the Universe lines you up with something that doesn't resonate with your truth, so you have contrast to find out what does. Never give away your power.

Pile 1

Strength, 3 of Pentacles

You have loyal allies in your challenges. A lot of unforeseen inconveniences you can't seem to avoid are in your energy, but this time, you feel the support - be it physical incarnations of kindred spirits, or those from the other realm connected to you. Yes, your heart is pounding and your knees are shaking, and these instances definitely aren't what you would've put on your wish list in a million years - but you surprise yourself with your bravery amidst it all. You thrive in collaboration with likeminded people, even in the face of your antagonists. The Universe is sending you storms so you can see how well you build your structure, and feel like the badass boundary expert your past self dreamed they could be.

This was a test, and you passed with flying colors. All your hard inner work is tangibly paying off, and you feel elated and proud - rightfully so.

Pile 2

Queen of Pentacles, The Fool

You finally stopped caring so much. You figured out where (or with whom) you lose the energy you so desperately missed all this time, and despite the struggles of letting go, you are now light as a feather. But in contrast to the past, where you were simply too scared to attach fully, so what else is there to do but float... you can now fall back on and draw from the deep roots you grew in fertile ground. Nourishment tailored to your needs is in constant supply, and plenty of opportunities to extend that generosity onto are emerging on the horizon. But this time, you know what to look for to have it reciprocated.

There might be people you still deem generally lovable you had to leave behind, and trust that hearing their criticism or seeing the effect of your absence on them will never truly stop hurting - but you know your worth and needs better than ever, and are determined to ultimately look ahead to the promising future. The Universe provides for all, and not just through you.

Pile 3

7 of Wands, 7 of Pentacles

The Universe is fueling your fierce protector side. You respect your own time more than ever, and see the value of patience with yourself. Your vulnerability is no longer a source of shame, it has become your most precious inspiration. Outside disturbances can't faze you out of your serenity with your true self. You worked hard for where you are, and you are not letting anyone counterproductive get close to it. Take the various toxic coping mechanisms projected onto you as the compliments that they are - you trusted in your balance, followed what felt right, and are reaping the rewards, while others still cling to the very same mindset that starts itching once you are around.

You understand the delicate relationship between healthy aggression and egotistical overkill, and are a role model for those wanting to follow you. The blessings you have already received are shining brighter than ever, and it's only the beginning. Isn't it so worth it being seen as the bad guy? Your people love you for what you are doing for them. No one can take this away from you, because you know how to keep it - becoming more authentic every chance you get.

Pile 4

2 of Swords, The Hermit

I can imagine you clicking on this particular reading with a kind of scoff. "Oh yeah? Providing for me? I see fuck all." Dare I recommend to expand your understanding in which ways one can receive...? I see you clinging onto promises you kind of already know aren't very, well, promising. But for some reason you only want it that way, almost to try to prove a point no one even challenged you on. Your idea of what you need and what you want have no space for differences inbetween. This might not sound pretty or comforting - I feel awfully confrontational saying this to you actually, and my Cancer Mars is shaking like a leaf - but I see the Universe providing you with an ultimatum.

Drop the rope if you truly want happiness (and not just validation for how great all of your ideas are), or be stuck in the frustration eating away at you. Look at what you already have. Yes, it's not the ultimate dream, but you have to first step inside of you to be able to receive. Because inside of you is where you will feel the love that's on its way to you - not craning your neck out as far as you can, desperate for a crumb to roll by.

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

𝐑𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞 [Part 1: Goldrush]

There's always a certain sense of childish sadness in a man consumed by rage and anger- because in a man like him, those feelings are simply born from the pain of the past, and the crushing fear of what the future might yet make him face.

Tags/Warnings: Mafia!Tiger!Jungkook, Deer!Reader, mentioned abuse, mentions of underground fights, graphic descriptions of violence, a gun oh no, Jungkook in a suit, it's pretty dark read at your own risk, there is like a hint of fluff?, just let me cook I promise it'll be worth it, do not read this if you're easily triggered/upset by dark and violent themes please thank you

Length: 6.5k Words (oh boy look at the size of that thing)

There is no taglist for this fic.

A/N: Haha remember when I said it'll be 3k words per chapter? well I lied oops

-> Masterlist

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Jungkook met you after his first fight for the Golden House.

Humming a tune you'd almost danced through the kitchen- though you were mostly focused on helping the other maids and cooks prepare the food for the higher up's currently invited for dinner at the estate. He remembers he'd scared you- probably due to his rather beat up face, none of it having been treated most of the time, just so he could scar up and look tough on the outside.

It had worked- somewhat. Though his hybrid genes had made it rather difficult to hurt him enough to permanently scar- all of them eventually fading, needing to be remade, night after night.

The look of fear in your eyes had been something he got used to- or maybe he simply didn't notice it after a while, maybe it became normal to see you in a constant state of fight or flight. He never saw you rest, only saw you work- but when you were away from the Boss and only amongst yourself or him, you had a certain sense of lightness to yourself. Like a feather, as cliché as it sounds.

If it wasn't for your hybrid features, Jungkook would've sworn you were more of a bird than a deer- put in a cage, fear used against yourself to lock you in and to the Golden House forever. Just like he himself was shackled up, bought and owned by the highest man just so he could have some amusement watching the tiger hybrid fight in the ring.

He was a toy to him. Just like you. Just like any other hybrid at the Golden House.

Sometimes, when no one was paying much attention, you'd visit Jungkook in his room. You'd clean his wounds, and most of all- you'd talk to him like an equal. You'd tell him of dreams you had at night, of thoughts you'd come up with during your chores, or with fantasies you had about the world outside the walls of the estate. And he'd listen to all of it, quietly, your voice soothing his wounds more than any medication ever could.

Maybe your fear towards him didn't just become normal to him, so he didn't notice it. Maybe it disappeared, slowly, and that's why it left your gaze. You didn't fear him. Didn't see him as an enemy. And maybe that's what really changed.

It was winter when he found out about the consequences to your actions.

He'd spotted you outside in the snow, white flakes falling steadily onto your head and clothes, feet naked and red from the cold. It was punishment- for caring for him, doing something you weren't told to. You'd hidden it, kept it a secret so he probably wouldn't feel bad- but the true nature of it was more selfish than that. "I don't want you to stop talking to me." You'd said when he'd confronted you about it. "I don't want you to ignore me like everyone else does." You'd cried. He hadn't even spoken much to you at all, and yet the few words he'd gifted to you were more than you had ever received before.

And so he had to compromise, and instead tried harder not to get injured in the ring, so no one would notice when you'd help him heal.

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He knows that you saw the signs when his mind had started to slip. When his anger grew, and his sanity took a backseat inside his head.

Especially when the Head of the estate had decided it would be a delight to make you watch Jungkook fighting in the ring every time he had to as a way of trying to make you stop your foolish actions of helping the fighting hybrid- to show you how cruel and brutal the otherwise quiet and reserved tiger could really be, as he'd dislocate limbs and break bones night after night with a certain sense of bloodthirst in his gaze, eyes no longer kind but cold. How he'd bite and scratch with pure intent to hurt and end the fight in his favor, no matter the outcome for his opponent.

Jungkook knows that your view on him changed back then, even if you did not tell him that. He could feel it, in the way your hands would begin to tremble before touching him, or how you'd suddenly no longer reach out to him.

Gone was your attachment to him, murdered was any emotional connection you'd been creating.

At the end of the day, you had been nothing but a puppet to the head of the Golden House, nothing but a doll fed with orders because no matter what, you'd do it if it meant you'd survive another day. You would've probably even killed him if it had been asked of you- even though he wouldn't have let you.

You wouldn't have stood a chance against him.

The kiss you'd shared had been more than questionable, and he does feel bad about the circumstances back then.

He knew that it could've gotten you killed if anybody had ever caught you both, and he also knows that if it wasn't for his own initiative, you would've never made that step either. But he loved you, he loved you so much it hurt, and he hated being hurt because it was a constant for him he could never escape.

Everything he did, every situation he found himself in, every waking moment had been nothing but pain in one way or another. Nothing could soothe that ache in his body, could somehow make that burn in his bones feel a little lighter.

Nothing but your touch.

You cared. Even though he knew that you feared him, you still cared. And he hated it.

Why didn't you push him away, make him angry at you so he could have a solid reason to just get rid of you? The only reason he continued to endure wasn't so he could survive- he never gave a fuck about survival, none at all. But the heartbreak in your eyes, the fact that you'd be alone, the memory of you crying so bitterly about being ignored and put aside was continuously making him pull himself back up whenever knocked down, to win the fight and come back to the Golden House-

where you'd wait for him, soft hands on his skin relieving his rage just for a moment. Giving him a second to breathe. Where you'd kiss his wounds, and lift all the weight off of him for just a second.

And then you betrayed him.

"Thats a train ticket! I got it from Chun, she said it'll take you to busan." You'd told him, panic in your eyes as you'd pushed the slightly torn canvas bag filled with clothes and other necessities further into his arms. "After your fight tonight, there will be a dog hybrid named Min Yoongi in the locker room. He'll take you to the station.!" You said.

"And you?" He asks, dreading the answer he'd inevitably get.

"I'll be your insurance." You'd smiled.

"He'll take all his anger out on you-" He'd worried, and you'd nodded, and never looked so brave.

"I know." You'd told him. "But you'll live- and that's enough for me."

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"Flake has been replaced with Dohyun. The people aren't very happy with it, but he'll make them accept the change soon enough." Namjoon offers, setting some papers down in front of Jungkook, who looks like he might be asleep- face resting on his hand, arm perched up with his elbow on the armrest of his chair.

"Hm, they're never happy when a hybrid's on top." He mumbles lowly, eyes not opening. "I assume Flake didn't go… voluntarily." He asks.

"No." Namjoon responds. "Was executed on his balcony."

"Classy. I like it." Jungkook chuckles, eyes slowly opening as he takes in a deep breath. "Hm, I'm hungry-" He starts, looking at his watch on his wrist. "-let's hope Hideo doesn't piss me off tonight, or I might just have to swap him too." He growls, slowly getting up to prepare for the dinner he has to attend with the human gangleader.

Jungkook had the chance to get out. He's been given the chance after all, by the only person he's ever really considered he 'loved'- and yet his thirst for blood wouldn't let him go. The need for revenge was way too big inside him to be just satisfied with living his own life away from his past- but he couldn't.

They took everything he ever had away from him. They took you away from him. And he'd never forgive that.

So he began to convince Yoongi to join him in his plans, took the first few pillars out to make the fundamentals of the underground gang life crumble. He shook up the entire game, and began to 'swap out' human leaders with hybrids from his own rows- a gang he'd build up himself, consisting of almost exclusively hybrids of all kinds. He knows he's not doing any good with the way he's doing things- but he doesn't care.

If he can't change the game, he'll become the best player instead.

And currently, he's definitely on the road to take the seat as the king.

"Jungkook!" The rather eccentric man stands up, opens his arms for the hybrid who does not attempt to return the gesture or accept the invitation at all. "My favorite big cat, come take a seat!" He laughs it off, sits down with Jungkook, who keeps his face stoic and expressionless. "Can we have some chairs here please? I'd hate for your friends to stay standing while we eat-" He tries, but Jungkook shakes his head.

"No need. I'd rather have them pay at attention." Jungkook responds, and Hideo laughs in front of him.

"Always so on edge. Never change my boy!" He jokes, before the food is being placed on the table. "So. I heard you let Flake tumble down his balcony like a dramatic movie-climax." He chuckles, cutting into his steak. Jungkook nods, begins to eat as well, but keeps his eyes on the man in front of him. "Quite the spectacle. Made the higher up's a little nervous." He tells him.

"Good." Jungkook simply answers, and Hideo laughs.

Hideo is one of the only few human leaders left in his original spot- mainly because the man is rather interested in surviving, and keeping his head in one piece. He's smart, albeit a little bit unhinged- sometimes even causing Jungkook himself to feel uneasy around the man. He's a wildcard, and does what he wants whenever he wants, only follows rules if they're in his favor.

So Jungkook is wary of him, and doesn't trust that man as far as the bridge of his own nose.

"They say his minions aren't too happy with your new choice." The man mumbles, shrugging his shoulders however, clearly unbothered. "But they just don't like the change. What you should worry about however, is the money you're loosing." He says, making Jungkook's eyes sharpen.

"What money are you talking about?" He asks, finishing up his plate.

"The money you're not aware of." Hideo chuckles. "Flake had two daughters, and rumor has it they both emptied their bank accounts a few days before you struck and pushed Rapunzel down her tower." The man informs him, licking his knife while looking at Jungkook, who tries hard to make nothing visible on his face. He knows exactly what the man is trying to tell him.

Somehow, those daughters knew Jungkook would attack. Which in turns, means someone told them.

Which hints at a snitch.

"Sakata is currently finding them as we speak, so no worries about that." Hideo suggests, finishing his meal as he wipes his mouth with a napkin. "The only thing you should do, would be to.. sniff out who needs to go, so to speak." He says, grinning at Yoongi, who pins his ears back in irritation at the joke. Jungkook leans back, tilts his head once, before he stands up.

"I want to know the whereabouts of those two daughters the moment you have them." Jungkook says dryly. "Do not kill them. I want to.. talk to them personally." He orders, and Hideo laughs, nodding with his hands clapping once.

"Of course! Oh and-" The human man grins, and it tells Jungkook that the man has something to say that will definitely cause problems. "-I heard my dear Chisoo left you a present at your estate?" He says, catching Jungkook off guard for a second, as the tiger hybrid looks to his side towards Namjoon, who shares an equally confused gaze. "Oh, you've not seen it yet? Hm, it does explain his good mood, doesn't it?" Hideo asks one of his guards who doesn't react. "Ah, I really liked that guy. Don't be too harsh on the boy, yeah? He doesn't know how to.. read a room, you know? His jokes can be terrible." He laughs.

Jungkook slowly leaves, but as soon as he sits inside the back of his car, he's growling out orders. "Call Chisoo right now." He demands Namjoon, who already dials the number. "If he doesn't answer we'll pay him a visit right now." He says, waiting for the speaker system of his car to reveal the voice of the man.

"Jungkook! What's up my guy?" The young voice chimes out.

"Cut the shit. What did you do?" Jungkook demands, and Chisoo just laughs on the other end.

"Oh you've not seen it yet? I thought you'd like it!" He says, clearly eating. "Saw the poor thing and remembered something I heard from a former guard of the Golden House." He chuckles, and Jungkook's blood runs cold. "Look man, I have some urgent business right now. If you don't want it, you can just get rid of it- I won't judge." He laughs, before he hangs up the phone.

"Tell Seokjin to check the premises before we drive back." Yoongi informs him from the driver's seat, instructing Namjoon who calls the man right away.

"Seokjin." Jungkook says as the phone is picked up. "What the fuck did Chisoo bring?" He demands to know, and grows increasingly uneasy when the answer isn't what he hoped he'd get.

"I.. you should just not worry about it. It was probably meant to just anger you." He tells the tiger hybrid, not specifying things. "I've already dealt with.. it, just-"

"That's not your decision to make." Jungkook growls. "I'm on my way back right now, and I want whatever it is in my office before I'm back at the estate. Am I making myself clear?" He demands.

"..yes." Seokjin simply complies, though with great hesitation.

Because he knows, the moment Jungkook knows what it is, there will be nothing capable of calming Jungkook down.

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One, two, three.

You're counting each tick of the clock standing on the table in the office, waiting for something to happen. That's all you've been instructed to do- the man earlier having escorted you here, and just told you to 'wait', and nothing else. So you do just that, naked feet on the soft carpet, intricate details on the fabric almost hypnotizing you. It's already a lot warmer in here than in your room at the Golden House- and the man who brought you here had given you his jacket too, probably because he thought you were shaking from the cold.

Which you did- but you also tend to shiver from fear, mostly due to your hybrid instincts.

Just.. in here, you don't really feel scared. It smells familiar in here, like something you forgot existed- almost like a childhood memory, far away but reawakened right in this moment. It soothes your worries and slows down your thoughts tremendously.

ninety-four, ninety-five, ninety-six.

You can hear faint noises now, ears turning towards the door behind you, though your body otherwise doesn't move. you don't dare to, since the handcuffs around your wrists might make a noise, and no one told you if you were allowed to move anyways. So you just stay still, even when you can hear someone argue in front of the door, angrily, upset. The voice is familiar, again- but you don't recall a face to it whatsoever.

One hundred.

The door opens, people walk in. Your face stays lowered, you don't even dare to swallow the saliva in your mouth. "Why the fuck did he send me a hybrid?!" Someone growls, and it makes your throat clog up, angry tone causing your muscles to tremble once more. "Fuck. And why is she not-" He starts, before he stops right next to you, frozen in place almost like you are- though due to different reasons.

"Jungkook-" Someone sighs, when Jungkook next to you talks again, but in a truly bone-chilling tone.

It's so low, and steady, that it makes everyone wordlessly follow the command.

"Out." He says. "Everyone, out, right fucking now." He growls, and both Namjoon and Yoongi leave, though the dog hybrid hesitates a little- shocked as well by the sight of you, most likely.

Once the door closes, it quiets down. All you can really hear is the way the man called Jungkook walks around, paces for a good while, clearly in distress. You're not sure why you're causing him to be like this- maybe he doesn't know if he wants to kill you or not. Or he's fighting primal urges to hunt you down as a predator hybrid. It could be a lot of things.

You lost track of the ticking. You can't hear it properly with Jungkook moving around like that.

"Don't- stop doing that.!" He suddenly says, and you notice yourself panicking. What are you doing right now? You're not moving, you're not looking at him, and neither have you said anything- though that's out of the question anyways. What are you doing that you need to stop? You're barely even breathing- maybe that's it? It's an odd request, and you doubt you can properly follow it for long, but if he wants you to do that-

"Stop being scared!" He suddenly roars at you, hands on your shoulders making you whimper out of pure instinct, as you watch his chest rise and fall rapidly. "Don't-.. I'm not.." He stammers, before he takes a deep breath, seems to control himself as his hands leave your shoulders, instead push themselves into the pockets of his slacks. "Look at me." He demands, and you do just that.

His hair is fairly long, growing over his ears, curly and a deep black. There's two round tiger ears between his wild hair, one of them a little torn, but the scar seems long healed. His eyes are piercing, watching you intently as if he's searching for something with desperation, jawline sharp but his face has a certain roundness to it.

It doesn't distract you from the danger he radiates, tail swaying impatiently behind him. He's a tiger, in every way- large shoulders and powerful muscles unable to be hidden even underneath the suit he wears.

But there's a certain shift in his posture and most of all his gaze as he seems to realize something about you.

"Who am I." He asks, or more so orders you to answer. You begin to panic once more. How are you supposed to answer that? "Who. Am. I." He repeats slower, and you open your mouth to say something-

though no coherent word leaves your lips, only barely a noise that even sounds like it hurts, and it makes your eyes sting.

Jungkook seems to grow angry again. Is he upset that you can't answer? Will he kill you now, because you're unable to give him a proper response?

"Do-" He looks absolutely devastated, and for some reason, it makes you sad. "Do you know who I am?" he quietly asks, bracing himself for the answer he might receive.

Though nothing could prepare him for the pain he feels in his entire body when you quietly shake your head, confirming his worst fears.

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You've not only forgotten him- but everything else too, it seems like, according to Namjoon, who'd been trying to sort you out since Jungkook left you in his office, unable to really have you close like that any longer. His friend had tried it all, and had also let someone with medical knowledge have a look at you- which also gave an explanation about why you just won't talk.

You can't. It's not clear what exactly must've happened, but there's a definite injury there that won't let you make any sound without pain.

It's now pretty obvious to him that you must've gotten caught giving him a way out- and you probably paid the consequences for it too. Whatever happened caused you to forget most of your past, and no one can be sure if it's permanent, or just temporary. What is clear however is that you're completely hollow. There's no trace of a personality in anything you do, no personal preferences towards anything, no interest, not even very noticeable emotions.

It's not surprising to him- and maybe that's what pains him the most.

"So if you don't tell her what to do, she will just do nothing at all?" Jungkook asks as he looks through some documents to distract himself. The more he thinks about you, the darker the possible punishments that you most likely received become in his head- mind forcing scene after scene of you into his brain.

"Won't even sleep if no one tells her to. She was awake the whole night because no one told her when to sleep I guess." Namjoon says, arms crossed. "It's hard to tell what she's thinking considering she doesn't talk." Namjoon sighs defeated, while Jungkook stares at the papers for a moment.

You used to talk a lot, back when he was still used for underground fighting, and you were nothing but a maid for the gangleader. He remembers you humming random songs while dressing his wounds- something you told him was to mostly distract yourself from not crying in front of him.

"I'll fight better next time." He'd told you while you carefully placed the large plaster onto one of the scratches that's still bleeding. "So you won't have to cry."

"I want every bit of info as to where she came from before Chisoo got his hands on her." He tells Yoongi who's been sitting in the corner.

"I believe Chisoo bought her straight from the Golden House. Overheard him talk to one of the guests." Yoongi responds, and Jungkook nods.

"Good." He smirks, standing up, and bracing his hands on the table with a dangerous glimmer in his eyes. "I've got some unfinished business with them anyways." He says. The Golden House was no longer a place of fear for him- because just like you, Jungkook isn't who he used to be.

"You're going to start a war over a hybrid friend you made years ago?" Namjoon worries. "Jungkook.." he sighs, but the Tiger hybrid doesn't back down.

Because you're not just a friend.

You were his Savior, the only soft thing he's ever had in his life.

"No. I'm not just starting a war-" Jungkook growls like the predator he is. "I'm getting my revenge."

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Yoongi watches over you like a guard dog, just like Jungkook had told him to.

You'd overheard the tall tiger hybrid give those instructions to Yoongi just before he left in his car, and now you're left standing in the hallway where someone last told you to wait. "Come. You need to eat." The dog hybrid mumbles, walking a step before he checks if you follow. You do.

Of course you do.

You'd jump out the fucking window if someone told you to do so.

Before you were taken in by the Golden House, you'd actually roamed the streets with the dog hybrid together. You'd slept in a storage unit his past owner had rented before he died, a small place of shelter you eventually shared with Yoongi before you met Yuan Shun, the past head of the Golden House. You'd been way too naive back then. Told Yoongi you'd finally found a home to go to, finally found work to pay him back all his kindness.

You didn't know what you'd get yourself into. Not before Shun had forced you to get the small tattoo on your wrist that would forever bind you to him no matter if he died or lived. Every member of the Golden House had to get it one way or another- there was no way around it.

It was burned into everyone's wrist, whether they wanted it or not.

And once you're in, there is no out.

"Jungkook won't harm you." Yoongi says as he pulls out a bowl of something prepared, before he puts it into the microwave to heat it up. "He's just.. he can be a bit.." the dog hybrid sighs, shaking his head a little, unsure how to phrase it properly. Jungkook has his own problems, and it's pretty obvious to everyone around him that he's not the sanest of people any longer. No one can blame him for cracking a few braincells after what's happened to him, that's true- but that doesn't mean that he's a monster.

He's just scarred by his past, and haunted by his potential future.

You want to ask Yoongi what your connection to the tiger hybrid is. You really do- but you also feel like it's none of your business. If anything, you're simply waiting for orders, for a job you'll be working as from now on, a task you'll be given in this new place. The dynamic of things here is confusing to you, how everyone seems to walk freely, no one ever standing in one place waiting to be needed. You even saw someone laughing in one of the hallways.

It's eerie. You don't like it here.

"Eat." Yoongi says, before he holds your wrist, one of his ears twitching in irritation when he notices it's the one with the fine lined burn mark of the Golden House. "- when it's cooled down a little, of course." He sighs, and you nod after a moment, staring at the bowl of pasta.

Waiting. Counting the ticking from the clock in the kitchen.

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"I don't give a flying fuck-" Jungkook growls, knee connecting with the man's jaw once more before he pushes the chair back, gripping his face to force him to look at him. "-about your so-called loyalty." He finishes his sentence. "The only reason I'm not breaking your jaw yet is because I need you to be able to talk." He threatens, before he steps back, and wipes his hand on a tissue.

"I'm not talking. Daeho will-" He starts, when Jungkook slowly and carefully loads a black gun in his hand, pulling the magazine back to ready it in his hands.

"Daeho will what?" Jungkook almost sings. "Kill you?" He asks with feigned innocence in his tone, while he walks forward, and points the nuzzle of the gun straight at the man's kneecap. "How nice. But you see, I'm not Daeho." The tiger tells him, tilting his head a little.

"And I'm not nice."

A shot rings through the small room, followed by agonized screaming, and the gun reloading in Jungkook's hands. "Now, I'll try again. Why did Daeho sell her to Chisoo?" He asks, and the man takes a few deep breaths.

"He wanted to fuck with you." He grits out from between his teeth. "He knew it would piss you off. He technically wanted to send you a tape- you know what kind." He says, and Jungkook's blood boils up again. Of course he knows what kind of actions that sick man would have forced you to do, what exactly he'd make Jungkook watch. "But he thought-.." The man needs to catch himself a little. "He thought it'd make more sense to give her to you instead. Alive."

"Why?" Jungkook asks.

"Because you'd lose your fucking- whatever the fuck you're doing!" He groans. "You'd turn soft. Maybe even break at the sight of her all fucked up like she is now." He explains. "That's why he messed her up before you got her." he says, clearly sweating now from his body trying to keep up with the rapid bloodloss.

Jungkook is silent, before he unloads the gun, clicks the safety in place, and puts it back into it's holster on his belt, turning to leave the room. "Wait- wait, what about me-!"

"You can bleed out right here like the pig you are."

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Nothing will ever return to what it once was.

Mostly, because whatever was, isn't any better than what is now. The blood staining Jungkook's hands is still the same consistency as back in the fighting ring, it still washes down the drain the same way as it did before. There's nothing new to the way his knuckles hurt from the force of the punches he'd delivered to the man, and yet, there's a new sting in his chest that just won't leave.

Before you came here, he had at least a way of pacifying his worries about you. Before, he'd been able to just convince himself that you probably got yourself killed for him- that you'd been set free after all, finally escaping your cage once and for all.

The fact that you did not, and instead just went from one cage to the next, makes him nauseous. He doesn't even want to know what you had to endure throughout the years you'd been apart. Now you're just a shell- a plastic lifeless version of what you once were, nothing of your soul remaining inside of you. Could he even consider you 'you' any longer? Or were you now someone else?

Are you someone at all?

"Where is she?" Jungkook asks Seokjin, who'd brought him a plate of dinner into his office.

"She's eating with Yoongi downstairs in the kitchen." He tells his boss and friend, who's currently looking outside the window facing the balcony. "What do we do with her?"

I don't know, is what Jungkook's only answer can be. Because he surely doesn't- he's unsure if actually killing you would be a more generous thing to do than letting you simply waste away in the state that you're in right now. What you are, in this moment, can't be called 'alive'. There's nothing living behind those eyes, nothing but fear.

But he also knows that he'd never be able to put the gun to your head and shoot.

"Can I give a suggestion?" Jin asks after a moment of silence, and Jungkook turns his head, nodding. "What if you turn this whole 'joke' around?"

"What do you mean?" Jungkook asks, body now moving as well to face his older friend.

"Right now, her presence is doing exactly what it's supposed to." The cat hybrid says. "She's making you lose focus, makes you act without thinking. That's what they want."

"I'm not killing her." Jungkook defends.

"I'm not asking you to." Seokjin says, walking closer. "But think about it. What about her is making you feel like this the most?" He urges.

The fear you have. The fact you forgot him. The terror in your eyes. The emptiness you represent.

"Jungkook, you told me once that back then, she was the only thing keeping you sane in that place." The man says, white ears twitching between his hair. "And she can become just that once again."

"Have you seen her?" Jungkook growls.

"Have you?" Jin challenges. "You're in a place of power here. You call the shots, this-" He gestures around. "-all of this is yours. You offer us protection, a home, a place to let our guard down for once. You're not who you were before. You turned your life around- and you can do it again, but this time, it'll be her's." He says, and suddenly, Jungkook understands what his friend is trying to tell him.

This is his place. His territory. He's in charge. He's in control.

Nothing will ever return to what it once was.

Because he'll be the change it needs to turn this twisted joke around.

⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅

"Remember, he's nothing to be scared of." Yoongi tells you, before he opens the door, and gently pushes you inside by your lower back- before he leaves you alone with the tiger hybrid in the room, no longer wearing his jacket, only dressed in a casually unbuttoned black shirt and slacks.

Even his gun is on the table. You could take it at any moment, shoot him, no problem. You know how to shoot a gun. Is he that stupid?

Probably not. There has to be a reason for his actions- you don't think he got to his position by being reckless.

He moves slowly, a lot more confident and most of all relaxed than when you last saw him- the person he is right in this moment a stark contrast to who he'd been when he first saw you. It makes you suspicious, unsure, because if he houses so many different versions of himself inside his body, how could you ever know who the real one is?

"The rules in this house, and under my hand, are simple." He says, voice surprisingly calm as he speaks. "Loyalty." He states, looks at you- and from the fact alone that he doesn't seem to mind, you guess that Yoongi was right when he said that you were allowed to do that. "As long as you don't betray me, I will offer you a safe place, and protection."

That doesn't make sense to you.

If that was true, that would mean that he'd just take in random people just because they don't snitch on him- what the hell would he even get out of that? Inside the Golden House, there were already rumors about him. That he's possessed by the drive to 'change the game' and put hybrids up on top, an odd way to live since apparently he'd escaped this entire circus years prior. Why would he willingly return to it?

Even worse, play the game he barely managed to get out of?

He sits down on the edge of his bed, and only now do you realize where exactly you might be right now. And it confuses you even more. He's letting you into his personal rooms?

Why?

"Come here." He says, and your legs move without any of your control. Like a puppet on a string you're pulled towards him, unable to really go against any orders told to you, like you're mind controlled. The moment you stand in front of him, he reaches out his hand- and you're torn by the possible choice given to you. But if he reaches out, you're supposed to take the hand, right?

Instead, you put your own in his, not making a decision at all.

Control is a scary thing. You don't want it.

He looks at your wrist as he turns your hand over, thumb running over the signature branding you have on your skin, burned in scar never fading. It's when you can spot something on the hand that holds yours, between all the ink and color he's placed underneath the skin. A scar, achingly similar to your own.

Your eyes find his- but he's not looking at you.

So he's from the same place as you once were. Is that why he smells so familiar? Did you forget him? Or did you never know him at all, and simply caught traces of him during your time at the Golden House?

Who is he?

"From now on, you're mine." He tells you, and you soak up that info like a sponge. "You belong here, and nowhere else." He says, and you nod to make sure he knows that you understand. There's a small moment where he simply looks at you, before he nods as well, and lets go of your hand. "Can you write?" He asks, and you eagerly nod, finally expecting a task from him. You'll be useful, you'll have something to do- you won't just have to stand around and wait for something that never happens. "Good. That gives me at least some way you can talk to me, I guess." He mumbles to himself as he gets up and walks past you, to dig around in a small drawer of a desk close by. "I want you to talk. If not with your voice-" He offers a small, palm sized notebook to you, a pen clipped to it's side. "-then with this."

You take the booklet with a nod, opening it to write something down. He expects a thank you- but that's not what he gets.

'What is my purpose here?' you've written, and he sighs to himself.

"Heal." He says, making you look at him confused. You're already starting to show a lot more emotions he notices, and it calms him down quite a bit, because that means that even though you may have forgotten him, you're at least slowly adapting to the overall environment you're now in. You move to write something again, before you hold out the booklet.

'There has to be a job for me.' you write, and he tilts his head at you, arms crossed, veins clear under his forearms, exposed since he'd rolled up the sleeves of his shirt.

"And I just told you what it is." He responds, face expressionless, but eyes glimmering with something almost mischievous. "Your job is to heal, adjust, and adapt to the way I run things." He tells you. "But if you want a.. job, I can try and arrange something for you." He huffs, dissatisfied, but still caving in.

You show him the opened page again, something added to the bottom.

'Thank you' is written there.

He just nods, and knocks on his door to give Namjoon the sign to take you to your room so you can sleep- and leave him by himself for a moment, as he watches the calm night-sky from his window, world steadily moving on while he doesn't know what's to come for him.

Even if Seokjin is right, there is no guarantee that this whole thing won't just backfire horribly. And there's still the looming threat of someone amongst his people who's currently the biggest danger to the house of cards Jungkook had barely built up over the years until now. If that person just so much as pushes one more card, it might all come falling down-

and this time, he'll take you with him.

If he dies, you can't survive.

Because if you do, you'll probably face a fate he doesn't even want to imagine.

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Day 1: first kiss

Masterlist flufftober 🎀

Reblog if you liked it!

You were walking along the inside of the sidewalk, enjoying the story that your friend was telling you animatedly, while both of you headed to your apartment.

You had been dating a few weeks with Dr. Spencer Reid, whom you had met at your book club. He was the only man attending and although the old women were completely sweet with him, they were no competition for you, who had liked you from the first glance. He had invited you on a date with the excuse of talking a little more about the last book you had read and when you were alone with him you ended up seeing how charming he was. That allowed you to ask for a new date and so you continued to see each other frequently, when Spencer's work allowed it.

He was a gentleman with you and although it was obvious that you liked each other, he had been too cautious to make any move beyond taking you to nice places and buying you flowers.

“If I'm overwhelming you, you can tell me,” he laughed, a little embarrassed that he had been talking for most of the way.

“I really like hearing you talk. You always have something good to say.”

You were very close to your apartment and both of you slowed down considerably, as if you weren't ready to separate yet. You had been walking with your hands in the pockets of your coat to keep yourself protected from the autumn cold that was already beginning to set in, wishing that it was his hands that kept yours warm.

“Sometimes I feel like I'm still not used to it”

"To what?"

“To be with someone as kind as you,” he confessed to you, smiling slightly “You are literally the nicest person I know.”

“That's not true, I have a lot of bad things,” you tried to excuse yourself, even though it was totally true, hoping that he wouldn't start idealizing you as something you weren't.

“We all have them, that's true. But it is also true that you are gentle and good” he added. Spencer was so mature and so gorgeous that you doubted there was a man like him on earth and even with the short time you had been dating you believed he was good boyfriend material. Excellent boyfriend material, to tell the truth.

“You're going to the club this month, right?”

“I'll try,” he replied, when both of you were in front of your building. “You know, work…”

“This month I have to bring the snacks. And I was thinking about preparing something you like, if you want” you murmured shyly.

Your cooking skills were something you prided yourself on and you wanted to show him that you too were talented, just like he was with almost everything. Spencer smiled at the idea and gave you a list of suggestions, which you excitedly wrote down in your mind.

You didn't want to enter your house, but your excuses to keep him longer had run out and you even felt a little selfish for wanting even more from him after spending almost the entire afternoon together. But it was inevitable to want his company.

“We'll see you soon, okay?” he promised you, bending down a little to wrap you in a goodbye hug “I will try my best to be free on the day of the meeting.”

“No pressure, I'll save you some snacks and we can eat them at my apartment later,” you suggested, venturing to plan a date at a more intimate place that you two hadn't climbed to yet.

Spencer smiled from her spot and you knew that this was the final goodbye, although neither of you were very happy.

“Good night, Y/N.”

You responded in the same way and then you saw him start walking down the sidewalk, but this time you didn't go straight in like you did before. You weren't going to waste your chance, nor the pang of bravery that seemed to have hit you.

“Spencer! I think you're forgetting something," you exclaimed, loud enough to stop him and make him retrace his steps to look at you with a confused expression.

"What is it?"

“This” quickly and without leaving room for complaints, you pulled him by his tie until he was close to you and planted a chaste kiss on his lips, which were slightly stained with lipstick that matched the man's cheeks “You can go, rest”

“Huh… you too”

It was obvious that you had taken him by surprise, but it had been worth it just to see him in that state, trying to hide the emotion that the caress had given him and keeping his gaze on your mouth probably debating whether he should kiss you again or not.

This time you did walk in the direction of the entrance, but he was the one who didn't move, still processing what had just happened. You waved your hand from the door to say goodbye and he waved back, smiling tenderly at you. You'd like to say you didn't spy on him as you walked up the stairs, but that would be a lie, and so would saying you didn't see his excited little dance when he thought he was out of sight.

Although very brief, it was the best first kiss you had ever had in your life.

taglist: @navs-bhat @reidwritings @tricia-shifting14 @spencerslove

[featherandferns]

daylight - ten

jj maybank x fem!reader | part 10 of the daylight series | read part 9 here

content warnings: mentions of abuse and bereavement

word count: 1.5k.

blurb: fulfilling your promise to Barry, what starts as a photoshoot for his website turns into some well-meaning advice.

“What’s biting your bark?”

You lower your camera down from your line of sight so you can meet Barry’s eyes. You hope that way you can decipher what he just said, but no.  “What?”

“What’s the matter?” he translates with an eye roll. You shrug. 

“Nothing. Why’d you ask?”

A small smirk starts to show as he nods to your camera. “Because you’ve just taken about five pictures with the lens protector still on.”

Frowning, you look down to your camera to find that he’s telling the truth. “Oh.”

You take it off and pocket it. How did you not notice?

“Something on your mind?”

“It’s not important,” you politely dodge, flashing him a smile. Barry raises his brows and you get the feeling that he’s not easily discouraged. 

“This might come as a shock to you, but I was young once too,” Barry says. “So what is it? Boy trouble? Girl trouble?”

The apparent gay-rights ally Barry stands stoic, brow quirked and hands stuffed in his overall pockets, as he waits for your reply. You’re a little alarmed how easy he had your number down. 

“Boy trouble, I guess,” you sigh. Shaking your head, you renew your smile. “It’s really not a big deal though. Let’s get these shots done before we lose the light, huh?”

To distract your busy mind from thoughts of JJ, you had gone to Barry’s to fulfil your offer of completing promo shots for his website. He was more than happy to indulge. He even went to the effort of putting on a fresh pair of overalls. 

“Is this that Maybank kid?”

Okay, can this guy read your mind or something? The bewildered look on your face must be answer enough as Barry lets out a raspy laugh. His voice sounds like he’s been gurgling gas and inhaling smog for most of his years on earth. It’s weirdly comforting, like the smell of warm, fresh sawdust. 

“Come on, kid,” he says, wandering over to one of the plastic lawn chairs that sits outside his garage. “Indulge me.”

For some reason, you do. You take the seat next to him, your camera turned off and placed in your lap. 

“We, uh, got in this dumb fight the other day,” you find yourself saying. “You see, we’ve been spending more and more time together and just getting closer, I guess you could say.”

“Close enough to leave space for Jesus?” Barry wonders. Your face burns hot red. 

“Me and you aren't good enough friends yet for you to get that kind of info, Barry,” you jokingly return, hoping your fluster doesn’t show. Barry bobs his head, your joshing response seemingly answer enough. 

“Like I said, I was young once too,” comes his coded reply. 

“Anyway,” you say, redirecting the conversation, “I started to get all twitchy about it ‘cause I didn’t know where we stood. And I’ve never been good at complicated. You see, I sorta dated this guy back when I lived in Canada and I guess you could say he did a number on me.”

“He mess ya around?”

“To put it nicely, yeah,” you say, smiling smally. “So I’m not very good at opening up to new possibilities and stuff. It doesn’t help that JJ’s so hard to read, either. He’s the kinda guy who says one thing but does another. And I know people tend to see what they want to see, but I swear to God, sometimes I catch him looking at me in a way that makes me think that maybe there’s something more there.”

“Would that be so bad if there was?” Barry wonders, slouching back in his chair. 

Frowning, you look at him. His question passes in and out of your mind as realisation dawns upon you. “I can’t believe I just told you all of that.”

“I’m easy to talk to, kid," Barry shrugs. "My wife always said I was given God’s gifted ears: always good to listen but never much to talk."

You laugh softly.

“Yeah, she always came through with the good-enough advice for the both of us.”

Pursing your lips, you ponder his earlier question. You can’t seem to settle on an answer. “I’m not sure if it would be a bad thing. I guess I’m just scared that whatever the answer is, things might change. I don’t know if I want them to. I like how we are now.”

“And yet, you don’t,” Barry observes. 

Chuckling, you nod. “Yeah. Guess I can’t win, eh?”

Looking down, you fiddle with the buttons and dials on your camera. Barry’s quiet for a while and you can practically hear his rusty cogs turning in his mind. 

“You met that kid’s dad yet?” he asks, out of the blue. 

“Who? JJ’s? No, I haven’t met him yet,” you say. “I’ve heard a bit about him though.”

“He’s a troubled guy,” Barry sighs. Shaking his head, he says, “I was friends with him a while back but some people just wanna drown, and sometimes you gotta swim away before you get taken down with ‘em. But that poor kid: he got stuck with two shabby parents. His mama up and left, and before that she was a lying, cheatin’ son of a bitch - not to speak too out of turn. His papa probably has a closer relationship with a bottle than with the kid.”

You think back to the other night, sat in JJ’s house, surrounded by trash and tumult. JJ’s own drinking and smoking habits were easy to catch onto. It worried you plenty but it felt wrong to lecture. He omitted his parents from most stories and anecdotes but you suppose you didn't notice all that much as you had a habit of doing the same.

“I say all this ‘cause I think you gotta understand something. That poor son of a bitch didn’t have the best example of what love was growing up,” Barry says with a sad shrug. “Sometimes that means you don’t always know it when you see it. So, maybe he don’t know how to tell you ‘cause he don’t know what it is.”

You sigh and look out to the desolate road that sits outside his garage. “Y’know, JJ told me about your wife and daughter. I’m really sorry.”

Barry goes quiet but the air doesn’t feel tense. You take it as space to continue. 

“Your daughter was really pretty. I saw her in that photo in your shop.”

“She were an angel. God just needed her back home,” Barry quietly returns.

Looking to him, you smile, small and sympathetic.

Grunting, Barry leans forward. “Look, I’ve known JJ since he was yea-high,” he says, gesturing with his hand to the height of a small child. “He’s got a good heart but a short fuse. He runs.”

“That maybe explains why I haven’t heard from him since our fight,” you mumble. Barry’s smile feels like confirmation. 

“But I tell you one thing that I do know. Just like my little angel: that kid is loyal to the bone. If he cares for someone, he sinks his darn talons in and don’t let go - no matter what. Even his dear old pops he’ll defend to the end of the earth if someone dare say a bad word ‘bout him, despite all the beating and berating.” 

Your brows knit with that and your heart lurches. 

“So, if you come a’callin’ then he’ll come a’runnin’, I’ll tell you that now,” Barry assures you. “You just gotta know what you’re callin’ for.”

Nodding, you take in his advice. It helps ease the anxious insomnia that has been eating away at you these past few days. You start to feel as though a path is being carved out for you, fresh and foreign, different to the one you tread with Tyler. 

“Why are you so nice to me?” you ask Barry. 

His eyes hold the weight of the worlds within them as he smiles kindly at you. “Cause you remind me of my daughter. I like to think that if she had lived to be your age, she’d have been just like you.”

That mark of high praise etches itself into your brain. You wear it like a badge of honour the way a wartime soldier might with his medals, and sit in quiet disbelief that someone would say something so generous to you. 

After Barry’s well-guided advice, you get back to the photoshoot. You feel as though you saw him different through the camera lens after that. Every wrinkle on his forehead formed a map of his life: of hours spent at gravesites; of restless nights, alone in his house; of hard work at the garage, fixing and pimping out cars and trucks. Whilst some might say Barry wasn’t book-smart, he didn’t need to be. He was smart in the things that mattered. People and problems. With that intelligence, you find that as you walk back into your house, things feel less cluttered in your mind. It’s like he gave you the boxes to help organise all the thoughts you’d accumulated about JJ. 

As you approach your bedroom door, that content smile that had stitched itself to your skin the whole journey home fades as you find it closed. You distinctly remember leaving it open. Slowly cracking it open, your mouth drops with your bag when your eyes land on the person sat on your bed. 

“Mimsy?”

read part eleven here!

taglist:

@princessuki21 | @psyches-reid | @heybank | @avengersgirllorianna | @rrosiitas | @yourmumstoy | @jjsfavgirl | @void21 | @fictionalcomforts | @gsp420 | @redhead1180 | @wearemadeofstardust0 | @mrs-jjmaybank | @ifilwtmfc | @heybank | @lilyw1235 | @belle101200 | @maybankskiss | @lillell467 | please tell me if any tags aren't working - I've never done taglists before!

[veala2]

“ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴍᴏʀᴇ.”

SYNOPSIS - It was just a simple day at the market, and yet something about him seemed off than what you usually know. Not a bad off, just an off… and then you realized something more.

CW - fluff to the max, fem!reader (no mention of certain physical attributes), just a sweet read before you go to sleep. (´∀｀)♡

A/N - life is getting tough once again, so this was a good pick me up to write. hope you all enjoy it as I did making it!

Sometimes it’s often forgotten how bustling an island market can be while on a ship. The many vendors exhaustingly attempting to sell their goods, customers haggling and bargaining while they can, the loud noises and over all craziness that can ensue in just one day. It was easy not to miss.

So, when your dear cook asked if you’d like to come along with him to get groceries, you agreed in the hopes of a quiet day. But that was far from the case, at the moment.

“Damn, I forgot how crazy this place can be.” You said, astounded and a little nervous. Sanji simply laughed and motioned his hand towards you.

“If you feel overwhelmed, just grab my hand. I promise I won’t let go, Y/N- swan~”

You giggled at his sweet advances and intertwined your fingers with his. Making his eyes go wide and blood start spilling down from his face. You laughed once again at his silliness, and the two of you made your way through the bustling markets. Hand in loving hand.

The day seemed to go by like a breeze. It was funny how a simple day of buying groceries was as adventurous as discovering a new island. Sanji taught you which fruits and vegetables were ripe and firm, using charm to get the best deal on food, and enjoying the many food stalls scattered throughout the marketplace. With the sun shining brightly up in the sky, and not a single cloud in sight, today was starting to look like one of the best days you’ve ever had since joining the Strawhats.

Though, something peculiar was noticed by you as the day went on. Something that was unusual for anybody who knew Sanji.

During the duration on your trip, not once did the- usually love- sick- cook fawn or glance up at another woman. Which was strange, because even you could notice there wasn’t a lack of them. Women who, once Sanji noticed on his mental radar, would be engrossed by his antics until the moment he sailed off the island.

The chef simply kept his hand in yours. Doing his business and having a good time with you. It was sweet, but suspicious.

You thought maybe there was something more, but never thought deeply about it.

Curiously, you made your way up towards a stall selling different pieces of jewellery. Eyeing them all, almost mesmerised. The love cook noticed how your eyes glistened with the bright and colourful gems and stones.

“Fancy anything you see, dearie?” The elderly vendor asked, a gentle smile on his face. You smiled back and nodded, examining a particular pair of jewels that caught your eye. It wasn’t too heavy, and looked amazing against the colour of your skin. That smile of yours slowly dropped knowing you had just spent all your money on all the other vendors you passed.

Sanji noticed the expression on your face, thinking both to how cute you looked with that puppy-like pout and how many berries he managed to save in his pockets. He fiddled around before scourging up just enough money to pay the man.

“We’ll take it, sir.” He said. You were shocked and confused, grabbing Sanji by the shoulder.

“Sanji! It’s fine, I don’t need it.” You whispered. The old man had already packaged it and handed it to you. Sanji gave you a toothy smile, pulling you closer towards him by putting his arm around your shoulder. You made contact with the side of his body, taking note of his scent. Fresh, warm and spicy cologne. A cool aftershave. And the lingering of his signature cigarettes that somehow added to his incredible smell.

“It’s my treat, don’t worry about it. Any man would buy jewelry for such a beautiful woman as yourself.” He insisted, already thanking the man and walking away with you by his side.

A warm and fuzzy feeling grew from inside the pit of your stomach. You peeked inside the bag, a smile forming on your face. Cheeks round and glowing. That adorable smile that made the love cook fawn over you. Causing yet another round of nose bleeding. It was a safe bet to say there was nothing wrong with Sanji today, but the fact that he wasn’t swooning over the latest women he found in the market had you suspicious. But, you decided to put this off until later. Maybe then you’d figure out why he was being so… himself, but not himself.

As the night started to fall, the crew had rallied up and taken their positions at the dining table for their 5- star meal tonight. As per usual, since their chef wouldn’t make anything but. You peeked around the corner of the kitchen, noticing Sanji adding the finishing touches to the food. The delicious aroma wafting through the air and into your nostrils. If you hadn’t come to the kitchen specifically for Sanji, then you most certainly would have just a taste of his latest dish.

“Sanji!” you called, jumping up from around the corner. The man spun around, his eyes turning to hearts at the sight of you in front of him.

“Mon cheri! I’m so happy you’ve come to see me!” he announced, a stupidly cute grin plastered on his face. He noticed something shine from near you, stopping and gawking at what it was. The piece of jewellery looked even better on you than he ever could have thought or even dreamed. His face said everything it ever could have, and you couldn’t help smiling like an idiot, too.

“I take it, you fancy it?” You asked, in the same manner the vendor. He shook his head up and down fast. Going down to grasp one of your free hands and planting a soft kiss on it. You felt the heat rise up inside of you.

“You look like a true goddess, an enchantress of another world! My dear, you truly don’t know what kind of hold you have on me.”

God, could he be more idiotically charming?

“Do you mean that? Cause I saw how you weren’t really… yourself in the market today. You didn’t fawn or swoon over all the girls there like you usually would.” You expressed, awkwardly shuffling your feet and gazing at the ground. He gave you a look of confusion, tilting his face to the side, puppy- like.

“Why would I when I already have a beautiful lady here, right by my side?”

It felt like your heart was about to explode. Explode into small bits as cupid’s arrows have struck you right in the centre. You lunged at him, engulfing him in a bear hug. Hiding your face in his shoulder and taking in that scent that you loved so dearly. Sanji soothingly patted the back of your head and caressed your back with loving circles.

“Your stupid, you know that…” was all you could mutter, still hiding in his shoulder. He simply laughed and held you tighter.

“Sweetheart, the food is starting to get cold. So let’s go enjoy it before that happens.” He advised, having you quickly agree and already start to drool at the thought of eating. Sanji couldn’t help but laugh some more at your antics.

The entirety of the night, you couldn’t help but glance at Sanji at the dinner table. Him doing the exact same. Besides Luffy’s grabby hands at the others' foods, and Brook causing Nami to yet another angry punch, and everybody else’s antics, you felt as if it was just the two of you at the dinner table. Neither of you knew, but you were both thinking about how lucky you were to have each other in this lifetime.

Turns out there was something more. And you loved it.

[tigerpearlsworld]

Pick a card

(deep in your soul who are you in core and what is your path)

Before you chose the cards know that this is a general pick a card and in this universe all the energies are different. you can only choose one card. this pick a card is meant for your soul not for you to resonate but for you to realize when you get the message and the truth. to pick the card you have to look for more then the image but you have to look for depth in each image. breathe in and breathe out, lit a candle, meditate and really feel the image and sense if you were not in your body but in the universe where would your soul be realistically. again its not about how you want to see, its about what your soul wants and when you feel the tug in your heart not your head know that its your card.

Sorry if my English is bad.

𝓣𝓸 𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓼𝓮 𝔀𝓱𝓸 𝓬𝓱𝓸𝓼𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓹𝓲𝓵𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓴𝓷𝓸𝔀 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓪𝓷𝓼𝔀𝓮𝓻𝓼 𝓸𝓯 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓼𝓸𝓾𝓵 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓼 𝓶𝓪𝔂 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓼𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓼 𝓫𝓮 𝓫𝓵𝓮𝓼𝓼𝓮𝓭 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓰𝓾𝓲𝓭𝓮𝓭 𝓽𝓸 𝓽𝓻𝓾𝓽𝓱.

Left to right :

pile 1 . pile 2 . pile 3

The reading starts...

Pile 1 :

(Healing,poems,sadness,withering,calling,acceptance,leaving)

Animal which came for you... Phoenix

Element which came for you... Fire and Water

Cards: (3 of cups, 7 of pentacles R x, ace of wands, 4 of cups, strength, the high priestess)

There is sadness a sense of loss. Deep in your soul I see you trying to dive deep but every time you do you're pushed back by life and its waves. I see restlessness you feel every time dread consuming you. At night it feels that you know something is missing but you don't like to feel and so you leave this feelings alone. I see the word which comes for you is " Deeper then you realize" yes that's you. you fail to understand yourself so people fail to understand you. you have good intuition and strength of mind but you have fears. I sense that your mind is blocked somewhere deep in your unconscious mind if it makes sense. I feel that your soul is very old and tired and that you were a victim in your past and even now. such tiredness such sadness yet you don't let it push you down you're relentless and even when you feel lonely you move again and again and again. you don't like to be too available but you crave freedom. I sense your heart is blocked too as you don't allow or maybe you try too but deep in your mind you chain yourself to suffering. it feels like you are trying to give justice to yourself from something you don't understand.

I see in the stars that you have been promised a house and a career. I sense that materially you will be always fulfilled now or later but in matters of heart, soul and tears you'll always be wounded and lost.

I see you in a boat alone trying to navigate your way but there is no light and sound and wind. that is where your soul feels you are. I see people show you illusions and try to take what is yours from you but you don't back down as you're strong. But I feel like you may have nightmares or bad dreams or even no dreams at all. But you feel in your heart that there is something empty. I see unlike your peers and people who always have it lucky ..from early on life your parent saw you as someone mature and you had responsibilities more then someone should have in your age. You feel as if people always ask you for guidance look at you as someone who has experience and know everything. sometimes you feel its unfair. you are also someone who has high standards and always in competition with others i see you're a jealous person and you like to have and be better then anyone. Emotionally in your present you are shallow and discontent, there is always a sense of rush in your mind towards everything weather it be goal, work or something....its always now or never. you cant rest because you are still tangled up in the veins of your punishment your mind punishes you for your past and it doesn't even lets you know or see your fault. it cages you.

the solution I see for you is to get in touch with your past and do fire rituals. Meditate on the fire to purify your mind. In this life your karma is to be mature and aware. Don't cage yourself in this loop of negativity but try to think and say good things. Do fire meditation or ritual before you sleep to get answers. feel that you're surrounded by love and light because I see many of your past people mainly ancestors are behind you in each step. Untangle yourself from the victimhood and destruction of your mind. Realize your full potential and you'll be unstoppable.

As i was channeling your energy this song came asking permission for your soul maybe you can resonate.

Pile 2 :

(Complain, voices, Lack, guardian, protected, Independent, Repent)

Animal which came for you.... Hawk

Element which came for you... Air and wood

Cards: (10 of swords, 10 of cups, page of cups, the world, the emperor)

Alice in the wonderlands is coming for you but also the story of red riding hood is coming.

I sense something is unforgivable and you live that unforgivable life. Maybe its something you had done or something done to you but you cant forgive. You're a stubborn soul who wont forgive and so even if you like to show yourself or others and tell that you don't focus on past but your path always leads you back to the past. your mind and heart always leaves you in lost . As because you don't understand what you want. you have so much potential to grow in ways you don't understand but your short coming is you're always lost as because you and your soul have different opinions and don't come in agreement as something is being rejected or hidden. You are realistic and you're skeptic I sense and that is your reality to always question and see things for what they are. you judge, yes. but you don't like to be judged. you have a ego problem too I see. And sometimes you chew more then you can swallow in that rage or moment of ego.

But I see you have talents and you garner jealousy from people if you realize or not. I can see in life you'll get many betrayals and experience many loss in terms of career, money, family, love, friendship. but something which you wont ever lose even if you try is you. and that is because even when you try to give up your stubborn soul doesn't lets you. you have a keen sense of knowing everything when you look at something or someone. your capability to sense danger or vibes which are off about people or situation is on point. you are a survivalist and you like to be prepared even if people say or see you as someone who is lazy but you work smart.

I see that you maybe popular or become popular in time. you may even have pets or be someone who advocates more for animals then fellow humans. "Antisocial and Watchful" is coming as words in my mind for you.

In your stars I see that you'll be given despair at one point of your life. unemployment and even homelessness is seen with poverty coming so strong. you will have to work hard and labor for each moment of life and suddenly I see that when your karma of repentance is complete YOUR STARS WILL GIVE YOU JUSTICE you'll be given a soul community of like minded people who feels like home and sudden wealth. I also see that your love life will blossom later in life but it will stick with you when it does happen. I also get a message for you "When you close your own seeing eyes and you trust your heart and the stars and let your hand be guided by the gods and the angel and you don't let past or doubt fill you in question but you're filled with peace, acceptance and forgiveness you'll meet your love" and your lover I can see will be a total angel who will always be with you and will always guide you towards light. just don't bring ego, independence and stubbornness. that is what I heard for you.

like i said early your word for you is repent and your soul wants to repent for something and its stubborn so till it repents it wont let you rest and will direct you back again and again to the past. and if you fight too much you'll lose.

I see you'll go through betrayals and even accidents where someone intentionally does bad to you but you'll survive and pick yourself up again. your key to success is to honor your past but not let it control you. you have to mine your way out towards a direction which is not in the same place or same thing you had previously done. you have to do something different and differently to get answers from your soul and the stars.

no one can control you, only you control yourself and in a way i feel that you already know that. you're a natural rebel and even may had bad relationship with authority figure and even your own father. you don't like to be controlled and told what to do as because you don't search for answers from others but from your self. you are an independent soul so you don't like when people are indecisive or change opinion or mind a lot. you are ride or die and loyalty is something huge for you. I also see that as you are so sure of yourself and independent in your thought and way of doing you may come in conflict with a lot of people. I'll tell you one thing your eyes are good and intuition is very on point. I see that you have the kind of eyes which See's through the facade of people and sometimes without even knowing the person and just by looking at them you can know what and how things will unfold with this person for you or others. Your eyes See's everything,every detail and you remember each and every word. but sometimes your all seeing eye and intuition can make you paranoid when you don't know how to use and so you may lose a lot of opportunities in life .Being independent is good but sometimes you should also lean on help that comes for you.

In this life to lessen your sorrow I see you must be more forgivable and also not come to conclusion about someone. I see that there is a lesson meant for you which is to be more social and accepting of people and their ways of doing things not everyone is perfect so let it rest and try to go on hike or walk in the nature when you feel restless or more chaotic. Doing more charity work or non profit work will also help you a lot in this life. To get less sorrows in life try to get blessings of people older and servants in your life.

This song was coming in my head for you as i was channeling your energy listen to the song maybe you can resonate.

Pile 3 :

(Distance, Travelling, Time, Healing, changes, Diet, path)

Animal which came for you... Lion

Element which came for you... Ether and fire

Cards: (Queen of wands, 5 of wands, 3 of wands, the hanged man, queen of pentacles)

The story which is coming for you in my head is Cinderella and the little mermaid.

you have the blessings of your ancestors, i see them blessing you and protecting you. there is this sense of stealth you have which always keeps you balanced and floating no matter what life throws at you. some call it luck but you know that its more then that.

what i sense for you is that your soul is someone who is strong and brave and someone who has mastered everything in the past life and so it feels confident and content within itself. for your soul freedom is the most important thing. i sense that you as an individual is someone with surreal themes of ultimate romance and tragic love where you want to be in love with the most pure form of love.

your soul doesn't allows you to get pin down by tradition and pushes you to be more then what is expected of you. sometimes you may come as aloof or hard to access to people and sometimes people may think you are submissive and a push over but those who know you close know how strong and spirited you are.

Even though your soul craves freedom sometimes you may panic not knowing your own path and may want others to decide, but whenever others decide for you.... it either bring bad fortune or you are discontent and do the opposite of what the person told you anyway.

i see you have a lot of competition in life and its not the kind of competition where you want to participate but the kind where you are forced to compete. you like to push your own limit and like to compete with yourself more then other. the idea of competition is something you may not like. i also see you waiting in life for something .... sometimes you may even dream about that certain something but what is coming for you is that rather then waiting for something to happen in life you should do more initiation in life. yes. initiation.

"a thought out action is better than a action with no thoughts", is the message coming from the ancestors towards you.

"know who you are and only accept things which are worthy to you"

i feel that there is two sides of you which comes like a tree which was planted and then it branched two different ways. i sense that as a kid you may have been very trustworthy and naive to the point of people abusing and using you and then suddenly something so major happened in life that you did not remain the same naive innocent person you once were. i sense there is a lot of traumatic experience you had to deal as a child and you had lots of hopes. i also sense for some not all that you family members abused you or controlled you , but you break free from them and moved away.

i see that you are someone who is very unorthodox and someone with a lot of alien fashion and thoughts in your head. you like to dream. you like art too. but you also are someone who is very scientific, like i said you have two face but its not a bad thing you learned that in life everyone wear mask. and although your small version would have disapproved as you were such a bundle of innocence and dreams but now its different.

you are someone who is full of beauty and also can be both a career woman and a house maker.

in your stars i see escapism and pleasure is coming for you, i sense that you have a lot going in your heart and head always and that you're someone who is very sensitive in your heart...empath to be precise so i would say don't try the shortcut and don't do drugs or alcohol it would severe your connection from your ancestor and your luck would lessen if you do. also i can see a major transformation happening in your life where once you may had been imprison for real in jail or in house through relationship i sense something traumatic is written in your life which would free you from that bondage of imprisonment and make you powerful. i also sense that you have lot of people trying to get your attention and fight for you in love and some of them can be as toxic as wanting to control you but don't falter and settle down. As the romance you crave you will find, yes true love that you have once dreamt or wished when young that wish will be fulfilled. I sense that your star is always helping you get to the right track in life and always shows you your true path, you are guided even when you think you're not. the stars has written that in your faith even when you feel lost you wont be. you are protected. also look for butterflies especially yellow once they may guide you sometimes.

In this life you must be true to you, your karma in this life is to transform. Its saying you must be careful in your words and action, more like be precise with them. Be mindful with your group of friends. To connect with your ancestors try to bath in the early sun light and do meditation.

No song came for you during my reading, sorry.

[channieskies]

𝕴𝕴: 𝕲𝖗𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖉

Pairing: Bang Chan x Reader, Jeong(Jung) Jaehyun x Reader (Fem/AFAB/Curvy/Plus sized)

Genre: Smut (eventual), Angst, Supernatural Romance, Urban Fantasy

AU: Supernatural AU, Vampire Au, Werewolf AU, Witch AU

Word count: 8058 [Reading time: 33 Minutes ]

Nets: @neverendingdreams-net & @mirohs-aurora-society

Synopsis: Strange events keep piling up. There is something going on in this town that you are just starting to see.

CHAPTER INDEX

“Chris…” You paused, eyes focusing on the purple and pink hue that washed over the trees in the distance before you looked in his eyes to show your sincerity. “I can’t apologize enough. I shouldn’t have abandoned you. Who does that to their best friend? Especially when they have been through everything together.” You reached out and grabbed his hand, without even thinking about it. “I promise I will make it up to you. I promise I won’t be the biggest dick in Louisiana and leave you again. That wasn’t fair to you, I know that.” You played with his fingers, drawing patterns absentmindedly on the red tinted skin on his knuckles, your attention now on his skin. “I’ll be a better friend. I promise you this.” You looked up, catching him staring at you. He smiled, his lopsided dimples doing what they usually did, making you smile with him.

A.N: Please reblog and leave a comment to let me know how you feel. I'd love a little feedback. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it. Special thanks to @palindrome969 and @therhythmafterthesummer for reading over this for me. I could never thank you enough. Dividers by @saradika-graphics

Disclaimer: This story does not reflect the real lives or personalities of Stray Kids or NCT. I do not know them personally. This is purely a work of fiction.

Warnings: MINORS DNI! This post contains nsfw material. Please do not interact with it if you are under the age of 18. Do not translate or repost here or on other sites. This chapter contains use of explicit language.

Home. That's all it was. There was no sweet home to follow it up, because you hadn't left it that way. If anything, you left this place like you'd robbed a grave: disturbed and desecrated. Along with your belongings, you took the bad juju of committing such a brazen and criminal act. You'd left your mother, your friends, your life, and career all for a man. A good for nothing one at that. Your mother had always told you that you had to be careful of the choices you make, you never know where they might have you end up. Yours culminated in you ending up sitting in your beat up car, across the street from your mother's brightly colored shotgun-style house in the uptown district of New Orleans. Her porch was decorated with a plethora of wild yet beautiful flowers and a few colorful chairs. It was inviting, just as it had always been. This was the home that had been in your family for generations, passed down from mother to daughter since 1839. It was lived in and warm, quite possibly the most comfortable place in the world. A safe haven.

Your great-great-great maternal grandmother, Abigail, was the first of your people to make something of herself. She didn't have much of an education, but she was a talented seamstress and hairdresser, making a name for herself across three different states. She passed it to her only daughter and so on and so forth. Your mother swore that within the next few years, she was retiring from nursing and moving to Florida. You don't know why, but she swears she's going to find a good man and settle down there. But you know her best, and she is too much of a free spirit to stay in one place. That's why she's constantly traveling, taking her nursing job around the country and sometimes out of it as well, even if she was never gone long.

You picked and bit at your nails, the one nervous habit you wish you could have kicked with your nicotine addiction, but you'd take it if it meant never smoking again. You felt unnerved. It was weird, it wasn't like this was someplace fancy, it was just your moms house. Your childhood home. You could see the warm amber lighting coming through the window, indicating that she was home, but for the life of you, you couldn't get your ass out of the car. God, how you wish you could smoke and rid yourself of this stupid anxious feeling that had you tied to your seat like a locked seatbelt. Would she be disappointed in you? You failed as a daughter, on multiple accounts. You just couldn’t seem to get life right.

Your own mother had struggled with juggling a full-time job and a child, planting down roots in this city when she knew the wind was calling her name. According to her, she had been compelled by the spirits of your ancestors to have you, persuaded that it was finally the right time to settle into motherhood. But she was a bird, not something stagnant and never changing like a tree; she was meant to fly but instead had to put down roots. Having you forced her to give up on the life she wanted to have and acquiesce to domesticity. She'd sacrificed the things she'd liked just so you could afford the ballet lessons you begged to take for a few months before quitting. Same with the piano and singing lessons, as well as the haughty toighty summer camp she sent you to, all so you could study music theory. When you were accepted at Tulane University, she probably expected you to be like any other college student. You know, wrack up a bunch of debt and slowly pay it off while doing the job you went to school for. It probably wasn't in her plans to get a call from you, telling her you were pregnant in the middle of your junior year,  dropping out.

You bet she wasn't expecting to have to pay for your therapy after you lost the baby either. You know it had to have been a downward spiral of bad news when you told her you weren’t going back to school, years of education and sacrifice be damned. You’re certain it hurt when you left town one night and didn't look back- the loud knock on your window pulled you from lamenting on your sub-mediocre life choices. You jumped, grabbing your heart to make sure it didn't make a run for it. “Mom?!?”  You grabbed the hand crank to roll down your window, just enough to hear what she had to say.

The first thing she said was your full name loudly, “Why the hell are you sitting in the damn car, across the street from the house like a stalking lunatic? Get in the house!” She sighed, and mumbled something else under her breath as she crossed the street in haste. “I'm sorry y'all. You know that girl has no damn sense. I swear she gets that from her father.” You hadn't noticed, but there were witnesses to your car breakdown, the elderly couple next door and the nosy woman across the street. She'd snitched on you plenty of times before, why would this time be any different?

Chris hadn’t lied when said your house hadn't changed. It was indeed the same nostalgic little time capsule it was the last time you visited. You didn't bother with your boxes, entirely too tired to move the front seat and retrieve them from the back. That was a problem for the you of tomorrow. You still had clothes in your old room and could always bum toiletries off your mom, she wouldn’t mind. “What are you visiting your old mother for now?” She asked, taking a seat on her sofa. The tv was on mute, playing some old black and white reruns. You could tell she just finished her batch of cookies for the children's ward at the hospital, the house smelled of her delicately spiced chocolate chip cookies. They were a hit amongst kids and adults alike.

“I.. need a place to stay.” You didn't hesitate to say what you needed. It was her motto that was drilled into your head after all, ‘Closed mouths don't get fed’. You fidgeted with the keychain in your hands, you needed something to keep your hands and mind busy. She started for a moment only to nod, indicating to you that you could stay. “It will be for a while. U-until I find a job at least.” She nodded again, not even bothering to ask why or what happened. She was understanding like that. You tried not to let it show, but you were grateful to be born to a woman like her. She was beyond anything you could have asked or wished for. You knew that not everyone was blessed with a caring and understanding parent, and you were truly thankful that you at the very least, got to experience that from one of yours.

“But- on one condition.” She put up her hand to stop you from going further into the home. You dreaded what she had to say. Last time you stayed here, she had you volunteer at the soup kitchen for three days, saying that you could have been homeless, but she was being nice enough to give you food and shelter. That was during your grandfather's funeral a few months back. You spent time volunteering while you were mourning. Your mother is that type of person. Pay it forward was another one of her mottos. “You go to work with me for a couple hours this weekend. I have a new boss in the children's ward and I would love for him to meet my baby.” She said in a nonchalant way, but you knew she had been talking about you, she always did. Didn’t matter what you were doing or where you went, you would always be her baby and she was proud.

You truthfully didn’t know why you even doubted how she felt. There was never a moment where she wasn’t proud of who you’d become, no matter what mistakes you’ve made in life. Maybe it was just that little anxious and negative voice in the back of your mind that constantly felt the need to remind you that you were undeserving of anything good. Whether it be platonic or amorous, love wasn’t meant for someone like you. You were wholly undeserving, unworthy of it. “Also, take a trip to the family tomb and pay some respect to your elders, they have kept you safe this far and you want them to continue to do so in the future…” She continued to talk about all the things she wanted you to do for the tomb, like sweeping and dusting to make sure they were comfortable in the afterlife. It was something you always thought was a little strange, but who were you to knock the traditions of old southern folk? She’d survived this long for a reason, right?

You could feel the warmth of the sun on your face as you stirred awake the next morning. You had snuggled into your freshly changed sheets last night and honestly, you don’t remember much after that. You rubbed your eyes, opening them slowly only to find another pair staring right back at you. You quickly moved back, maybe too quickly, accidentally tossing yourself off the bed, tangled in the mess of sheets and blankets. Your butt hit the hardwood floors right on your tailbone, causing it to hurt almost immediately. “Ow!” The same eyes peeked over the side of the bed at you, as if checking if you were alright. The tiny meow that came from its mouth was a strong affirmation that the cute little black and white cat with two-toned eyes was asking if you were okay. “Yes, I'm fine. Just a little sore, is all.” You rubbed your butt to try and soothe the dull ache as you moved to your knees to get closer to the cat. “What’s your name? Huh? And why are you in my room?” 

The cat leaned its head down, chin brushing over the name tag. You grabbed at the shiny, round tag, glancing at the cursive little Ella ‘Socks’ Fitzgerald. “Socks? Is that your name? It’s nice to meet you, Socks. I’m Y/N.” It puts a paw forward, showing you its cute little white paw, amongst all the black fur. “How cute are you?” You cautiously reached to pet the cat who did nothing but melt into your touch. You had always wanted a pet, but your mother was very peculiar about it. She’d say that pets were for common people who did common things, we needed more than just a pet. That always struck you as strange. What has changed from then to now? How did Socks come to be in your mothers possession? You could hear your mothers mumbles through the door before she knocked softly.

“Have you seen- ah there she is.” She stepped into your room, gathering up the cat in her arms. “This is the new doctor's cat. He was out of town for a few days and asked me to keep her. She’s cute, right?” You nodded. That explanation made sense, you knew your mother wasn’t one for pets. “So you might see her around every once in a while, whenever he’s out of town. But she's a sweet girl, so don’t be afraid.” She turned as if she was going to leave, but stopped right at the threshold of your dark purple room. “Christopher called. He said to remind you that you owe him a meal. But he said he couldn't make it over to this side of town and would send you the address.” She squinted her eyes as she turned her head towards you. “Don’t you hurt him, you hear me? He’s too pure for this world and he easily gets hurt, even if he does a really good job at hiding it. Just like when you lef-” She stopped herself, a frown forming between her brows. “Just be careful with someone like him. I don’t think he’ll be able to take it if you disappear like that again.”

You tried not to act or look confused. But you sure were. Chris didn’t act any differently towards you yesterday. He didn’t make it seem that you leaving town abruptly like you did last time, was that big of a deal. You were sure it hurt momentarily, hell, it hurt you to leave like you did. But he seemed like he understood your reasons and didn’t hold them against you. He had told you as much at the diner last night. But then again, he and your mother talked more frequently than you and your mother. She had taken it upon herself to adopt him as her own, since his family was a twenty hour plane ride away. She was a nurture, it was in her nature.

There were certain times you felt like you’d have to push your car to your destination. With all the twists and turns and little hills you had to drive through to get to whatever part of the suburbs Christopher lived in, your car was struggling to keep up. You could tell it was overheating. The radio had been on the fritz for over a month now, and now the a/c acted like it wanted to poop out on you. You would rather deal with public transportation than to have no air conditioning with all this hot and humid Louisiana air. Trees lined the streets of the suburbs in far more elegant ways than it did even in the historic garden district. The land surrounding each home seemed to get bigger and bigger the further you went out. Maybe one of Chris’ roommates was rich, because explaining how a teacher could afford this was not computing or connecting inside of your brain. 

You carefully watched the numbers that were painted on the curb as well as the mailboxes and houses. You were lucky to see the numbers on the house in your neighborhood, maybe suburban living was just all together different. “140, 141….143.” You stopped your ancient clunker of a car, pressing hard on the squealing brakes, right in front of the sprawling lawn. It felt like the well manicured greenery went on for miles before your eyes noticed the large house in the background. The rounded driveway led right up to the front walkway of the large center hall colonial home. Call you Dorthy, because you sure weren’t in Kansas anymore. The city was lively, there was always something going on, people always on the streets for something or another. But out here you couldn’t hear anything but nature, and that honestly scared you a little bit. You were used to the noise after years of conditioning yourself for it. Even in St. Martinsville, even though it was a smaller town, you lived off the main thoroughfare in an apartment full of different types of people. It made you feel right at home.

The suburbs offered something completely different than what you were used to. It was almost too picturesque. The trees stood still and tall, painting the grass with little dark dots, making it the only thing that blemished this perfect little picture of suburbia. Everything had a place and everything was in its place. Eerie. If anyone asked you. The pretty white siding was accented by the white-washed brick foundation and mossy green shutters and accents. The landscaping added to the top notch curb appeal of this mini-mansion. Now, either Christopher was selling drugs to the parents of the kids he taught or he had run into some major cash since college. Last time you checked, he was still sending money back home to his family, so you doubted he had some random long lost relative that kicked the bucket and transferred beaucoup amounts of cash into his bank account. Yeah, drugs were the only answer. 

You reluctantly pulled your fiesta into the drive, almost afraid it would mar the flawless brick pavers. You came to a halt and you put it in park, sitting there with it still on, wondering if for some reason your old friend was playing a trick on you. That he'd have you travel all this way just to pull a “sike, got you!” out of his ass, while he still lived in the city in the same old run-down apartment. It would be appropriate payback for you cutting ties with him in spite of everything you'd been through. He’d been there for you through the thick of it. He was the one holding your hand in the clinic after you’d taken multiple pregnancy tests to confirm your sneaking suspicions. He was there to comfort you when you lost the baby you had just started getting used to the idea of. He was there when that boyfriend left you high and dry. Chris had been your rock, but you had been nothing to him but the worst friend possible. You didn't let your mind drag you down into the same spiral that it took you on last night in front of your moms house, so you pushed past it. You pulled the keys from the ignition and got out, heading up the drive to the door. You fixed your dress, making sure it wasn’t up in the back or tucked into your panties like that one time in middle school. 

You couldn’t shake this sense of nervousness you had. What the fuck were you nervous for? It was just Chris. In this mini-mansion in the middle of suburbia, with a few roommates that you didn’t know. What if they sniffed out that you were the trash friend you had made yourself out to be? What if they told Chris that you were no good for him and inveigled him not to pursue a relationship with you? Relationship? How did you get there? Friendship. Yeah, that's what you meant. You didn’t get a chance to work out your worrying thoughts as the door swung open. “Hey.” The force of the wind pulled you forward a little, causing you to stumble. Chris’ hand landed on your shoulder, preventing you from falling over the threshold of his home. He chuckled, “Be careful.” How was it possible that you hadn’t even been here a good ten minutes and you’d already managed to make a fool of yourself? Good job!

“H-hey.” Could this welcome mat go ahead and open a portal to where-the-fuck-ever and swallow you whole already? “I-I was just about to knock. How did-” He pointed to the doorbell camera, before you could even finish the question. Now you felt a little foolish on top of embarrassment. “Right..” He laughed and reached for your hand, tugging you inside the house. You fell into him with a soft thud, chin hitting his chest. You could feel the heat radiating off of him and creeping into your system, slowly making its way to your face. He gave you a soft hug before pulling back and letting you breathe. He closed the door with a slight kick of his foot, letting it close with a soft click. 

“Did you have trouble finding it?” He queried, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand as if he was nervous. You glanced at him, taking in the casualness of his outfit. It was somewhere between boyfriend and I might sell drugs to pay for this unnecessarily big house. Dark almost black denim pants, paired with a simple black t-shirt and a black cardigan with white outlines on it, on top. Simple, yet classic and you appreciate his effort. “I know whenever we invite people out, they have a hard time getting here. It often means we have to go find them and have them follow us here. So, at least you have ‘finding my house on your own’ under your belt. You are one of the few.” You felt like you should have been looking around, taking in the foyer of this massive home, but for some odd reason you couldn’t take your eyes off of him. Carefully watching the way his lips moved as he talked. The faint blush that painted his cheeks. How he fidgeted from side to side and couldn’t figure out where to put his hands. He really was nervous. The only time you’d see him like this is when he scored a date. But that wasn’t what this was, right? You’d know if this was a date. Right?

“I didn’t have trouble at all. I mean, besides my car acting like it couldn’t find a fuck to get out here, the trip here went without incident.” You sighed and nodded awkwardly. Don’t think of this as a date. It’s just you and your old best friend hanging out at his home while you cook a meal for him. That's it. But what if it wasn’t just that? Your mind had a way of playing tricks on you, making you believe things were true, even if you had little to no evidence of it being that. “This is a-a nice place you got here. I mean, it looks like it's even nicely decorated.” You were desperately trying not to make things awkward, trying to get your brain to not overthink just this once. 

“Ah- yeah, Felix’s mom decorated the place for us after she visited a few months ago.” He chuckled, taking a look around himself as if your words triggered the memory and not him living in the space. “I didn’t think it was that bad until she brought it up. She just couldn’t understand how we lived in this nice neighborhood, but the inside of the house looked like squatters lived here or a bunch of pups or something...” He paused, eyes fixed on your hand as if he wanted to reach for it once again. “I- um, I should show you around.” He made a noise affirming to himself that what he said was what he was going to do. He finally tore his eyes away from your hand and turned to give you the tour. “I don’t know if you can tell, but no one comes this way.” He chuckled to himself, “That's probably why it's so spotless out here. I guarantee you, the rest of the house looks exactly how you’d expect it to with eight grown men living here.” Eight? When he said roommates, you assumed two or maybe three. But seven other people lived here? With the same man who turned you down everytime you asked him to be your roommate?

“Eight? Christopher….” You poked his shoulder as he led you out of the foyer, past the stairs and into the living room. There were a couple of guys sitting on the large beat up couch, playing video games. There were a few empty bottles and pizza boxes around, like they had a party and didn't bother cleaning up after. You could smell the nice candles they were burning, probably to cover up the smell of man sweat and whatever that wet dog smell was that lingered under the woodsy candle. “You couldn’t live with me but you have seven roommates and a dog? Fuck your allergies, huh?” He seized up for a second, shoulders tensing up.

“Y-you know why, I couldn't room with you. I told you yesterday.” You kissed your teeth, folding your arms over your chest as you leaned your hip against the kitchen counter. You didn't believe that for a second. Chris had a crush on you? Please. He turned to you, giving you an apologetic smile. “I was being truthful when I told you that. I promise. Living with you would have messed up my feelings toward you even more.. than they already are. I couldn't do that… not when you were going through so much. I just…. I thought it would be best to just be there for you from a distance.” There was something about Chris’ eyes that told you if he was being truthful or just saying things in jest. He was telling you the truth. But you didn't want to think of what that implied.

Christopher looked at something beyond you with wide eyes, so you followed his gaze to find the two roommates that were playing games had completely turned to listen to your conversation. “Uh.. Hi!” You waved awkwardly towards the two young looking men. “I'm Y/N, Chris’ friend fro-” You were cut off by the deepest voice you think you'd ever heard. But you were sure it couldn't have come from the face that had its lips moving. You know the look on your face said everything about how shocked you were. Eyes wide, mouth agape. You shook it off as best you could, in order to not be rude.

“Oh, you're the Y/N he talks about all the time? ” His giggles contrasted with his voice drastically. He got up from his spot on the couch to introduce himself properly, his friend trailing behind him to do the same. “It's nice to finally meet you. I'm Felix.” No wonder his mother didn't want him to live in just any old environment. The boy was beautiful. He had a constellation of freckles dusted across his pretty cheeks and his eyes shined bright light diamonds in the night sky. You wouldn't want someone so pretty to live somewhere that didn't equal his beauty either.

“Hyung did say you were pretty.” The other guy spoke up, his voice cracking on his first word like he hadn't spoken all day. “I can usually bet against his judgment, but he was right this time.” Felix nudged him, but you just laughed, thanking him for his sudden compliment. You appreciated the honesty. “I'm Jeongin.” He extended his hand for you to shake as well and you gladly took it. He was adorable, as well as brutally honest and you liked that. You asked what they did for a living and where they were from, spotting an accent on both. Finding out Felix was also from Sydney like your dear friend, and Jeongin had come to America from South Korea for a cultural exchange program for part of highschool and now college. 

They asked you a few questions in return like how exactly you and Chris met and how long had the two of you known each other and you didn't mind answering, you just wondered what exactly Chris had said to them about you. Especially if it wasn't details of how you met. “Alright, I'd like to spend some time with my friend…. alone.” He was pulling things from the refrigerator, setting them up for you. Apparently he couldn't pick you up because he was grabbing things from the local box store to feed his army of roommates. “I want you all to myself for once.” He mumbled the last part but you heard him loud and clear, you just chose not to address it due to this situation already being confusing.

You clear your throat as you wash your hands at the kitchen sink. “Anything in particular you have in mind? What do your roommates want to eat?” He groaned at the mention of his seven other roomies. “I can’t in good conscience just make food for you, Chris. Not when there are other people coming in and out. So, I’ll make a group meal and everyone can have something to eat whenever they feel like.” You started searching the kitchen for utensils and pots that you would need to cook. “Any allergies, besides the one you have when it comes to living with me, that I should know about?” He stuck his tongues in his cheek as he rolled his eyes at you, even with a year apart, he should know you by now. You weren’t going to let this go anytime soon.

“No. No allergies. You know I want your macaroni and cheese. The last time I had some was before you left, so I'm well overdue for a pan.” He picked at the label of one of the spice containers. “I just… I can't ask you to cook for the kids. It's a lot of them and I've already planned to send them out with money to get themselves something to eat for the night. So just don't worry-” You stopped his rambling with a pointed stare. Your hands ceased checking over the ingredients he pulled out to confront him.

“You didn’t ask, and I'm not asking either. Let me cook for you and your friends. It's just one night. It's not like I'm going to become den mother Or something.” You chuckled and shook your head at your own joke, not noticing how your friend stiffened at your words. His ears reddened under the tuft of ear length curls on his head. “Mind being my sous-chef?” He nodded, glad you changed the subject, so he could stop his heart from fluttering about.

It took a few hours, but you, with the help of Chris, put together a full meal. Cheddar jalapeno cornbread, fried catfish, chicken fricassee (for anyone who doesn’t like or eat fish), red beans and rice, macaroni and cheese, stuffed mirlitons, corn and bacon maque choux, and a three bean salad for anyone watching their weight. You would periodically be interrupted, his housemates all floating down to the kitchen one by one to see where the delectable scents were coming from, just to find someone they didn’t know cooking in the biggest gathering place of their home. You met seven different people, with seven distinct personalities that day. Minho, gave you grumpy old man vibes, but he also had a cuteness to him that made you want to pet him like a cat, it was very strange to think about, but the truth nonetheless. You found out that this was a vacation home for Changbin and his family, the third oldest of Chris’ roommates. Why his family was vacationing in the suburbs of New Orleans, you had no idea, but they had to be pretty well off to have several homes in different countries. He was very sweet, but he almost lost a hand when he tried to pinch off your cornbread.

You thought Felix was one of the most beautiful creatures you’d even laid your eyes on, then you met Hyunjin. What kind of beauty distribution was this house blessed with? Every single inhabitant you met here was gorgeous in their own right, Hyunjin took the cake though. You almost chopped off your finger when he walked in, paint stains on his very expensive Celine t-shirt. Who paints in that? You almost got swept up in talks about art and the museums here in Louisiana before Chris rushed him off. You saw Seungmin for a few minutes before he said he had to run off to baseball practice, but the shade he threw at your younger friend, Christopher about his age before he left, left you completely speechless. There was allegedly another person that lived here, but he didn’t come out. Chris said he was a bit introverted and didn’t really talk to new people well. So you took the initiative and made him a plate along with a cup of sweet iced tea, leaving it outside the door that Chris directed you to. You didn’t mind an introvert, you were truthfully one yourself. So, you understood.

By the time you were settled, the sun was starting to set. Chris suggested sitting on the porch to watch the sun blend into the beautiful tree line behind their home. There was a nice cross breeze, thanks to the ceiling fan. “I can’t thank you enough for doing this. It’s one thing to make dinner for you and one other person, but nine? With leftovers?” He chuckled, “That's crazy.” You simply shrugged, it really wasn’t that much of a deal. You volunteered most of your young life, helping in the kitchen and cooking big meals was kind of your thing at this point. “I don’t think I can express how much I’ve missed having you around, Y/N. If it wasn’t for me finding my roommates, I don’t think I would have survived this last year.” Your heart broke for him. You guessed it was true what your mother said before you left, you’d really hurt him. And for what? What happened to bros before hoes? You were a shit friend and you knew that. You’d just have to spend the rest of your life making it up to him in whatever way possible.

“Chris…” You paused, eyes focusing on the purple and pink hue that washed over the trees in the distance before you looked in his eyes to show your sincerity. “I can’t apologize enough. I shouldn’t have abandoned you. Who does that to their best friend? Especially when they have been through everything together.” You reached out and grabbed his hand, without even thinking about it. “I promise I will make it up to you. I promise I won’t be the biggest dick in Louisiana and leave you again. That wasn’t fair to you, I know that.” You played with his fingers, drawing patterns absentmindedly on the red tinted skin on his knuckles, your attention now on his skin. “I’ll be a better friend. I promise you this.” You looked up, catching him staring at you. He smiled, his lopsided dimples doing what they usually did, making you smile with him. He leaned back in his seat, tugging your hand. You knew what that meant, your muscular buff friend wanted to cuddle. You at least owed him that after depriving him of a year's worth of cuddles. Your ex hated how close the two of you were, always complaining about how a man and woman can’t be that close unless one of them has feelings for the other. 

You scooted the patio chair you were occupying back and stood to your feet, making your way over to him and taking purchase of his lap, all while he never let your hand go. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, kicking your legs over the armrest. He wrapped his arms around your waist and nuzzled his nose into your neck, taking a big whiff, as if he missed not only the touch of you, but your smell as well. He was affectionate, that was something that just didn't seem to change about him. Even his roommates mentioned his love of cuddles and how apparently no one cuddled him like you. Truthfully, you felt the same about him. That lack of affection in your relationship with your ex didn't dawn on you until you moved away from your hometown. When Chris was out of your life, you finally had time to notice the void he left behind. No sweet words or texts, no hugs or cuddles, no one to go to museums with or to concerts. You were literally alone in your relationship. 

Your ex was harsh and mean, he didn't like to hug or kiss especially in public and he just lacked the same kind of warmth Christopher had. You longed for your friend so bad just after a few weeks of being away, that you took half of the two hour drive back home just to see him, before your ex called you back. The longer time went on the more you adjusted to not being touched or feeling loved. But now that you've gotten it back, gotten him back, you won't let go. His affection is like your life blood. You need it. You laced your fingers into the curls along the nap of his neck to lightly scratch his scalp like he liked. His eyes closed upon contact, melting into you as you melted into him. You were fine like this. This was the epitome of comfort to you. You sat like that for what felt like an eternity, his soft breath tickling your neck. The cool night breeze didn’t bother you while being wrapped in the heat of his arms and chest. 

He sighed, dragging his nose over the side column of your neck, causing goosebumps to prickle all over your skin. A soft gasp left your lips, but you didn’t move away, prompting him to do it again. You tried your best not to moan as his lips ghosted over the same spot. With a particularly long drag of your nails over his scalp it seemed it was his turn to make a noise. It sent a shiver down your spine, it was somewhere trapped between a moan and a growl. You pulled back, eyes fluttering open to meet him, eyes already staring back at you, just for them to slide to your lips and back up. Did he want to kiss you? You surely wanted to kiss him. His plump lips were so close to yours, all you had to do was lean in a little. Your body unconsciously moves in closer to his, his fingers releasing their grip on your waist to move to your face, first tucking hair behind your ear before finding their place on your cheek. 

He opened his mouth to speak, but you shook your head, not wanting to be taken out of the moment by words. He pulled you into him, his lips ghosting your yours before settling into a soft kiss. Was this what kissing your best friend felt like? Like smooth jazz in the park on a sunday afternoon. Like watching the sun set on his porch while in his arms? It was comfortable. Everything was always comfortable with him, always had been. But it wasn’t comfortable in the way that would make you feel no heat from it. No, this kiss would be seared into your memory for a lifetime. It's as if time stands still, it's only you and him in the moment. There are no other beings in the universe but the two of you. He pulls away, but only slightly, his mouth still lingers ever so close to yours. “What, Jisung?” You turned your head as he looked over to the door that hadn’t even opened yet. A fluffy haired, chipmunk-esque boy wrapped in a fleece blanket, popped his head out of the french doors.

“Tha-thank you.” His already plump cheeks became even plumper as he smiled. “For the food and the tea.” He nodded again, eyes darting from you to the man whose lap you were taking up space in. “I’m Jisung, by the way.” You smiled at him and his cheeks seemed to heat up. He was adorable. “Okay… bye.” He ducked back inside and scampered off as if you had scared him away. You hadn’t realized that Christopher made a face behind you at the boy, making him run off and back to his room. You turned back to him, bottom lip between your teeth, holding back the smile that was slowly starting to spread on your face.

“So…”

He laughed, “So?” He caressed your cheek with his thumb, eyes searching your face longingly. He looked as if he had so many things to say, but no way of expressing the abstract concepts his heart was painting. You wished you could dive into his mind and help him find every word he was missing, because you wanted to know what his feelings were. Were you alone in the way you felt? Was this wrong? What would happen to your friendship after that heated kiss you shared on his back porch. His nose bumped yours as he leaned in to kiss your cheek, though your lips were so close. They were calling to him, begging for another kiss to confirm if the first one was real or just a dream. He sighed, leaning his forehead against yours, as if it was an attempt to get himself together. To not wish or ask for more from his long lost best friend.

“I…” He pulled back to look into your eyes, hoping that you would say the words that he longed to hear. “I…. should really get going. It’s getting late…” Beg me to stay. Please. You pleaded to him in your mind, hoping he would get the hesitancy in your voice. Hoping he could read between the lines. “And… It's a long drive back to the city.” It wasn’t. Traffic wouldn’t be heavy this time of night on a saturday it was a thirty minute drive, tops. But he didn’t try to stop you. He just nodded, understanding. He was that type of person. Understanding to a fault.

“Do… you want me…to drive you home? I can take a look at your car tomorrow and make sure it's in tip-top shape for you.” His hand moved from your face to rest gently on your thigh, caressing it over the fabric of your dress. You could feel his warmth seeping into you, even with a barrier in-between. You could see it in his eyes, he wanted you to stay. He didn’t need words to express that. But you weren’t going to stay if he wasn’t going to ask you to. Call it being stubborn or whatever, you just wanted him to say that he wanted you. Wanted you here with him, in his arms, his lips on yours, sharing this moment of discovery together. If he couldn’t give you that, you weren’t going to volunteer your time. You’d done that for years at this point, and quite frankly, you were exhausted. You knew the burden of being alone in your relationship isn’t something that would occur with Chris, but you weren’t going to put yourself out there first. You did too much overthinking for that. You shook your head, looking down at where his hand was now squeezing your hip like he didn’t want to let you go.

“It’s okay. I can just bum a ride with my mom if need be, or call my uncle to chauffeur me around.” You dad’s half brother was always kind to you and willing to do whatever you needed in place of your father. You appreciated that. “You don’t need to worry about me Chris, I can take care of myself.” It was your turn to place a kiss on his cheek, but you made sure to make it to where there was something left to be desired. The kiss lingered, right on the edge of his lips. You brushed your thumb over the spot, whipping the non-existent lipstick you left there. “I had a great time. Thanks for letting me make up that meal you paid for.” You spoke as you tried to stand, his hand on your hip holding you back. You stared at him, just for him to let you go. His fingers slowly brushed over your stomach, before finding rest on the arm of his wrought-iron patio chair. You tried not to feel disappointed, things just weren’t meant to be at this moment. It didn’t mean the moment wouldn’t come. But did you want that? Your rekindled friendship meant everything to you and your bouts with love had all proven to be fruitless, like you’d be alone forever.

You finally stood on your own two feet, fixing your dress that had slightly ridden up from the position you’d been sitting in. He waited until you got to the door before he stood. Your eyes got a glimpse of him adjusting himself, the brief moment you shared clearly having an effect on him. He didn’t touch you again as he guided you through the house, back to the front door. Ever the gentleman, he walked you to your car and held the door open for you. “Next time, it will be just us, I promise.” You turned to look at him. Had he always looked this dazzling in the moonlight? Maybe you hadn’t ever noticed the way his eyes shone in the light. The teenage features he had when you first met were long gone, there was a man standing in front of you now. “Call me when you get home… you never know what kind of creatures lurk in the night.” You chuckled at his warning, no sense that he was serious.

“I’ll text you.” You gave him one last smile, wishing it could be a kiss instead. He returned the smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes like it normally did. At least you weren’t the only one disappointed the night was ending like this. You got in your car and he shut the door for you. You didn’t bother with letting down the window and making this an even longer goodbye. You just cranked up and pulled out of his driveway, looking back just once to see that longing look in his eye as you drove away. Regret, that's what this night brought to you. Regret that you didn’t recognize your feelings for him sooner. Oh, the heartbreak that could have saved you. You made the silent drive out of his subdivision, turning onto the main road, hyper focused on the dark pavement. Outside of the little community, there weren’t too many lights on the highway back. Your headlights were shit, you knew they needed to be cleaned, but they provided a little bit of light, blending with the slight moonlight that wasn’t covered by clouds.

You reached down to cut up the air. With your car sitting in the sun all day, the air-flow had an almost suffocating feel to it. You took your eyes off the road for a brief moment, fingers searching for the right dials to crank up the ac as much as your old beater would allow. The sweet relief of a cool breeze was short lived as you put your eyes back on the road. You slammed on the breaks, seeing the biggest wolf you’d ever seen standing in the middle of it. Your car came to a screeching halt, much harsher than the ones your old hatchback would make on the regular. The wolf looked in your direction, it had to be as tall as your car was, at least. You’d never seen an animal so big up close. You’ve seen people encounter red wolves when taking hikes around here, but they never looked this massive. Bigger than a dog, yes. Bigger than your car and possibly you? No. Plus it just didn’t look like your typical red wolf. You took in its appearance, its white and gray coat and sharp eyes. It was gorgeously terrifying. Its ear twitched and that's when you noticed the most unusual thing about it, besides its size. It had a row of earrings adoring its ear. Hoops to be exact, large to small. Where the heck had you seen that before?

The hell kind of modern wolf was this? How did it even get piercings? Was it alone? You soon got one of your answers with a howl from the treeline. Appearing from the abyss beyond the dark trees was another wolf, this one all black and even bigger. All the hairs on your arm stood up in alarm. What the hell was going on here. You looked away from the menacing one in the trees to the one in the road, making eye contact with the animal. It ran off as the other one advanced towards it, as if it was afraid of the black one. If it took issue with the scary black wolf, you supposed you probably should too. When the coast was clear, you pressed the gas and bolted. You had to get back home and wash this strange encounter from your mind. You checked the mirror a bit further down the road and there it was, black hair shining under the moonlight, red eyes aglow. A frighteningly beautiful sight to behold. You could see a sense of longing in that animal's eyes. Melancholy must have been going around tonight, but you sure as hell weren't about to stick around to find out if that was indeed the case.

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© ✐Channieskies 『MINORS DNI! This post contains nsfw material. Please do not interact with it if you are under the age of 18. Do not translate or repost here or on other sites. Please leave a like, comment, and reblog if you enjoyed this story.』

[aboutkiyoomi]

new person, same old mistakes

synopsis: you broke up with suna so “he could focus” and you both agreed to get back together when the time would permit. truth is, that won’t be happening anytime soon.

genre: angst. no fluff or comfort, we hurt feelings tonight.

a/n: writing is an outlet, so enjoy hurting over our fav foxy boy.

‘ you guys broke up after he had been neglecting you, claiming he was too busy with exams and graduation approaching.

‘ you did this under the guise of ‘lessening his burdens’ but in reality, you only did it because suna was seriously neglecting the basic needs of your relationship.

‘ it took 2 months of awkward interactions for the actual end of your guys’ relationship comes. it definitely hurt a lot more than the first ‘break’.

*****

“rin, i think we should break up. you’re so busy lately and i know it’s all for good reason but...you’re not keeping your promise.” you spoke, your fingers twitching at the hem of your uniform bottoms.

suna’s eyes widened slightly before returning to their natural state. his eyebrows fell downcast as he sighed and slung his volleyball bag further over his shoulder.

“so, what? we’re done?” suna sighed, seeming almost bored.

“i mean.. do you even care? i’m doing this so you can get your shit together and we can be happy again.” you scoff, unable to believe that the same suna who promised to always find a way to keep you happy and grow to be your ‘perfect boyfriend’ could seem so indifferent.

“of course i care. what do you expect me to say, i won’t argue with you.” he says, his eyes looking away. unable to face you or look you into your eyes.

“rin...we’ll talk later. i love you too much for us to end on bad terms, i’m leaving you alone.” you spoke, giving one more sad glance before turning on your heels and walking off towards your station.

*****

two months had passed since that day. during that time, you and suna only kept up simple conversations of checking in on each other. sometimes bringing up the break up and discussing where your feelings stood for each other.

you were very obviously still in love with him but you were going to stand your ground, if you two were going to get back together, it would be on suna’s terms.

suna, on the other hand, very clearly was keeping himself ridiculously busy so he couldn’t focus on you. it drove you crazy but you continued to tell yourself, this was for the best for both of you and for the sake of strengthening your relationship.

it wasn’t until the traditional third year picnic, a month before graduation, that the realization that you and rintarou wouldn’t be getting back together.

you walked in and immediately made your way towards osamu who welcomed you with open arms as you started up some friendly chatter. when suna arrived, osamu glanced worriedly at you.

“are you sure this won’t be awkward y/n?” osamu questioned as suna stopped to greet atsumu and some of the other third years.

“it’ll be fine, we’re on good terms.” you smiled softly, hope ringing in your ears as you remembered your last conversation with suna.

“i love you but now isn’t time yet, maybe later” read suna’s text to you. ever since that text, you were hopeful.

those hopes were crushed when suna greeted osamu with a side hug and his bright smile and you got an awkward wave before he shuffled away. the entire picnic consisted of suna speaking to everyone except you, which was odd considering he was closest with you and the twins, yet he seemed to be speaking to everyone else, excluding you.

your mood was dampened but it was your last third year event and you refused to spoil it for yourself. you continued to tell yourself suna was just trying to step out of his comfort zone since it was the last time all the third years would be together before graduation. that was until, you saw some girl wrapped around his arm, giggling at something he had said.

osamu noticed and his eyes immediately went to yours. you caught sight of his nervous gaze and immediately plastered on an emergency grin, hoping to avoid the pity and the comfort.

as people start to leave, you immediately begin packing up. the whole event was draining for you. you began saying goodbye to the twins, giving them both big hugs and wishing them well on their exams. when you approached suna, his  grin immediately fizzled into a straight line with a slight twitch.

“bye rintarou, good luck on your exams.” you speak, a small smile gracing your features. the same smile that you reserved specifically for him. you began reaching your arms out for a hug when suna grimaced slightly.

“ah..bye y/n. same to you.” he spoke, polite smile on his face as he pat your back, unallowing you to wrap your arms around him. he quickly removed his hands and began waving.

you felt the tears begin to well in your eyes, you held back and spoke.

“i think we should just forget about each other...it was nice and our love was amazing...while it lasted. i wish you the best, suna.” you spoke, voice wobbling slightly before you spun on your heels and exited the park. leaving suna speechless as he watched you walk off.

you calling him by his given name really solidified the end of you and suna’s relationship. you were tired of being stuck in the gray area of being in love and having hope and being sad over loosing something that wasn’t even yours anymore.  so, as you walked away, tears in your eyes. your chest began to burn, the pain of ending it came too soon. you almost wanted to go back and revoke your words but you knew that this was truly for the best.