#look witchers just deserve to be spoiled okay?

[catscraftsandcommentary]

Pretty sure if I magically got dropped into the AWAU, at some point I'd be cooing over one of the cats (4 legs, furry), petting and cuddling and generally loving on them...

...and 2 days later I'd meet at Cat WITCHER and try the same thing with them, just to tease them.

People would be like "hey look, it's a Cat, you love cats, right?" And I'd light up and go "a kitty? Where?!" And IMMEDIATELY hug the witcher and start cooing.

"Aw, look at you, you're so handsome! Just the sweetest baby, yes you are! And you're so SOFT *pets hair* and so WARM! What a perfect cat!"

And the Cat witcher is standing there all nonplussed like "wtf is going on, who is this chick and why is she touching me?" But also "...I don't *hate* it...and no one else is getting excitedly hugged..."

Me: *tries to scoop up the Cat* I'm gonna keep him! *looks at Cat* Can I keep you, sweetie?

[bambirex]

Sunshine For The Sunshine

Pairing: Geraskier, Yennskier, Radskier

Characters: Jaskier/Dandelion, Geralt of Rivia, Yennefer of Vengerberg, Radovid, Cirilla of Cintra, Lambert, Eskel, Coen, Vesemir

Additional tags: fluff, tooth-rotting fluff, soft Jaskier, soft Geralt of Rivia, soft Yennefer of Vengerberg, snippets, poly Jaskier, everyone loves Jaskier, found family, past injury, handfeeding, Jaskier getting spoiled the way he deserves, no actual plot

Word count: 2,127

Chapters: 5/5

Summary: Jaskier being loved, spoiled and taken care of by everyone the way he deserves.

Author's notes: There's no plot here, these are just short fluffy chapters that are not connected at all. The new season is treating Jaskier a lot better already with people finally caring for him more, but it's still not enough for me so here we go, have some snippets of Jaskier being coddled like a kitten.

Read on Ao3

*

All Jaskier did was sneeze about two times before a giant mug of steaming cocoa was pushed into his hands.

He shot a questioning look up at Geralt, who was standing above him with several blankets in hand, looking deeply concerned.

“Okay, I am not that sick,” Jaskier chuckled. His voice was a little raspy as his throat itched. It was the beginning of an annoying cold, which sucked, but Geralt acted as if he suffered from some horrible, incurable disease. The witcher has been fussing around him like a mother hen in the past few days, from the moment Jaskier sniffled for the first time.

“You need to warm up,” Geralt told him softly. He draped the blankets over Jaskier, gently rubbing his shoulders to warm him. “I don’t want your condition to get worse.”

“My condition,” Jaskier snorted, “I just have a sore throat.”

“I just want you to be okay, Jask,” Geralt sat next to him on the bed. He pressed a kiss to the side of Jaskier’s head. Jaskier hid his smile in his mug.

Geralt continued to hold him as Jaskier took the first sip of his warm beverage, his arms wrapped around him protectively, shielding him from any discomfort. Jaskier let out a small sound of bliss, allowing himself to burrow deeper into Geralt’s hug.

“This is really nice,” Jaskier smiled as he rested his head against Geralt’s chest. He felt his eyes becoming droopy, both from the sickness and from how content and loved he felt. Geralt kissed the top of his head this time, nuzzling him like a large and very affectionate cat.

“I can get you some medicine from the town,” Geralt said. He pressed the back of his hand against Jaskier’s forehead to check his temperature. “You may not have a fever now, but I’m worried you will. How’s your head? Does it hurt? Your stomach?”

“I am getting overwhelmed with all this care,” Jaskier mused. He couldn’t wipe the satisfied grin off his face. “When did you become so gentle?”

Geralt hummed, pulling Jaskier closer until he sat halfway on the witcher’s lap. Geralt supported Jaskier’s hand that held the cup with his own, making sure he wouldn’t spill the sweet cocoa. With his other hand, he gently tilted Jaskier’s head towards him with his fingers hooked under his chin. Jaskier’s heart fluttered at the genuine kindness in Geralt’s eyes.

“I’ve met someone who changed me,” Geralt replied, and suddenly Jaskier’s throat didn’t ache because of the impending illness, but because of the way his whole heart leapt into it.

For the first time in his life, he found himself unable to say anything, so instead, he cocooned himself in Geralt’s embrace, his body and soul healing slowly.

**

Jaskier’s hand was okay now, but sometimes he felt those tiny phantom pains, like needles piercing his skin. It made him want to scratch and rub at his tingling palms, made him want to pull off dead skin and poke at the now healed, but forever deeply marred flesh.

It was hard to control his hand when a sensation like this flared up in his hands. His fingers trembled, refusing to cooperate when he tried to frame his eyes with kohl. Jaskier swore under his breath, frustrated tears welling up in his eyes.

He yelped when suddenly he felt a touch on his back. He whipped around to see Yennefer standing behind him.

“Gods above, witch,” Jaskier huffed, “you’ll kill me one day.”

“Maybe,” Yennefer shrugged. Her eyes fell on Jaskier’s hands, and a small smile twitched at her lips. It wasn’t a look of pity on her face, but one of genuine care – a kindness that Jaskier used to think did not exist in her. “Let me help you, first.”

“I’m good,” Jaskier waved a dismissive hand, which still shook treatorously. “I can do it myself.”

“I know you can,” Yennefer replied softly. She reached out her hand, waiting patiently, not crossing any boundaries, instead letting Jaskier decide for himself. “Just not now. Please, allow me, Jaskier.”

Jaskier bit his lip. He hated feeling so useless, but that was not what Yennefer implied; Jaskier could see it in her eyes, could hear it in her voice. She offered Jaskier a choice, wanting to take care of him genuinely but also respecting his autonomy at the same time.

With a sigh, Jaskier handed Yennefer the kohl. Yennefer gave him a small smile before she seated herself on his lap, gently tilting Jaskier’s face upwards with her hand. Jaskier felt his cheeks go warm under her ministrations as she so carefully brushed the eyeliner over his skin. She was careful not to poke him in the eye, working on his face with such precision as if Jaskier was one of her secret magic elixirs that required a lot of focus.

His lashes fluttered as Yennefer fixed a small smudge, wiping it off with her thumb gently before she went on to fill in the gap with the tip of the kohl.

Jaskier swallowed thickly as Yennefer pulled back, caressing his cheek gently.

“Pretty,” she said with genuine awe, before she leaned in to kiss him on the lips sweetly.

**

“No utensils? Thought this was a civilized place.”

Radovid chuckled as he lifted the tiny bite of whatever-it-was off Jaskier’s plate. He held it up close to his face, making Jaskier frown in confusion.

“Open up,” Radovid told him, his voice both sweet and commanding, and Jaskier, though hesitantly, did it, still not very sure of what was going on. The food was slipped between his lips gently, and he couldn’t help but let out a small gasp when the taste exploded on his tongue- savory, and just a little spicy.

“This is good,” he admitted. He barely had time to swallow before he was offered another bite. Jaskier’s cheeks flushed at the smirk that Radovid gave him.

“I can feed myself, you know.”

“I don’t want you to,” Radovid replied simply. He gave Jaskier his typical eyebrow raise that implied there was no place for an argument. “I am planning on spoiling you rotten, my sweet thing.”

Now, Jaskier was used to praises and seductive words, but somehow, the way Radovid said it- playful, but still sincere, flirty but with so much care, like he was truly intent on handfeeding Jaskier an entire course, made his stomach tingle with warmth. He bashfully opened his mouth for another bite, feeling a pleasant shiver run down his spine when Radovid wiped a bit of sauce off his chin with his thumb.

A cup of wine was held to his lips next, making Jaskier laugh.

“I can’t even drink alone?”

“What did I say about spoiling you?”

“Right,” Jaskier gave in with a sigh, but his lips curled into a pleased grin anyway. He let himself relax as Radovid held the rim of the cup against his lips, making him drink the sweet wine gently. It warmed Jaskier’s throat and stomach pleasantly.

He was offered tiny desserts next, and he had to admit, slipping into this feeling was easier than he thought. He was used to taking care of other people: lovers, friends, family, and now he was receiving the same care, being fed like a hungry little baby bird and showered with the affection he always craved.

Occasionally, between bites, Radovid caressed his cheek and whispered something sweet to him that made Jaskier nearly choke on his food, too overwhelmed all of a sudden. He closed his eyes in bliss, letting the taste of a strawberry fill his mouth, while love and gratitude filled his heart.

**

No one has ever insisted so aggressively that Jaskier shouldn’t lift a finger. He was usually nagged about making himself useful at last, and the change was very surprising.

He genuinely wanted to help out: Kaer Morhen was huge. There was a lot to clean up, and a lot of hungry mouths to feed, but he actually wasn’t allowed to do anything. He made an offended noise at the back of his throat when Lambert all but tore the mop out of his hand.

“Nuh-uh,” he grumbled, “no need.”

“You think I can’t use a mop?” Jaskier huffed. “I am not such a spoiled brat.”

“That’s not why,” Lambert chuckled, gently patting Jaskier on the head. “You should rest, songbird.”

“It’s already too generous you’re letting me winter here, I should help you out, at least!”

“We’re not letting you stay because we want to make you play maiden,” Eskel told him with a smile. He, much like the rest of the Kaer Morhen wolves, kept insisting he should rest, and rest, and then rest some more. It was actually him, that practically shoved Jaskier out of the kitchen because he dared try and help with cutting up the vegetables.

“We’re letting you stay, because you mean a lot to Geralt. And us.”

“Alright, but…” Jaskier trailed off, not very sure how to process what he’s just heard. Him? Meaning a lot to a horde of supernatural warriors?

“Well, at least let me organize the books in the library…”

“Already done,” Coen grinned at him. “I did it last night.”

“But… but I said I would…”

“Yeah, well, now you don’t have to,” Coen gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze. “The only thing you should focus on is getting some rest and composing some lovely songs. And keeping on making us happy with your presence.”

Now Jaskier was sure he was actually just imagining things, because there was no way Coen just implied that his mere presence brought such joy to the witchers – but when he looked at them, he saw Lambert grinning, and that sincere spark in Eskel’s eyes. Jaskier walked out of the kitchen in disbelief.

He tried getting himself some tasks in the stalls, where Vesemir flat out told him that if he didn’t go back inside from the freezing cold, he would ask Geralt to kick his ass.

“Why does no one want me to help?” Jaskier groaned. Vesemir chuckled softly.

“You already help, Jaskier,” he said, his voice warmer than what Jaskier has ever heard from him. “You already help an awful lot.”

Jaskier didn’t even try to ask what he meant. He stumbled back inside the keep, his heart swelling with so many emotions inside his chest.

**

The last note rang out, and the crowd erupted into cheers. The clapping was so loud, it was almost deafening. Jaskier grinned widely before he took a bow, the ecstasy of a well-done performance strumming in his veins.

“That’s my uncle!” Ciri yelled, her cheeks pink with excitement. She stood on top of a table, ignoring Yennefer’s pleas to get off. “He belongs to us!”

Jaskier laughed in disbelief. A couple decades ago, he played in this exact tavern. He was met with disdain then, was pelted with bread and tomatoes, and no one has wanted anything to do with him. And now, the crowd was going wild, singing him praises and practically bowing before him as he made his way over to the table in the corner. At that table, sat the three most important people in his life, people who weren’t always the nicest to him, but who loved him with all their hearts now. People who were proud to declare him a part of their family.

“That was incredible, Jaskier,” Geralt said with a smile. No more fillingless pie, just incredible. Jaskier sighed happily, gladly taking the gentle shoulder squeeze from Geralt.

“Our bard,” Yennefer said with a grin, gently bopping Jaskier on the nose. Jaskier stuck his tongue out at her playfully, but the loud beating of his heart exposed him. Ciri all but jumped into his arms, wrapping her arms tight around his neck as she hugged him tight.

“You have to teach me to play, one day,” she said excitedly, still squeezing Jaskier. “How are you so talented?”

“Well, having such a lovely audience always helps,” Jaskier replied earnestly. He gently ruffled Ciri’s hair. “Besides, you’re already too powerful. What would happen if we also trained you to be a bard?”

“She would be like you,” Yennefer said softly. She gently brushed a sweaty lock out of Jaskier’s face. “And that’s not even such a bad thing.”

“Not at all,” Geralt chimed in. He gently stroked Jaskier’s back, making him melt into his touch. “So, where do you want to go celebrate?”

“Wherever you go,” Jaskier replied, his grin nearly splitting his face, the same way his heart nearly burst through his chest. “I wanna celebrate with my family.”

“Sounds lovely,” Yennefer grinned. “Our favorite poet is choosing us!”

Ciri hugged him again, and Jaskier blinked against the happy tears in his eyes.

Favorite. Incredible. Loved.

[pixiedreamer21]

Some of my personal thoughts on The Witcher season 2

Under the cut is MAJOR SPOILS! ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK

I gotta say, most people saw the whole Eskel situation coming and I was disappointed when I assumed it but, I can’t say I loved Eskel on the show. Maybe it’s because of fanfics but I always imagined Eskel as the “sweet” one and level headed and he came off as an asshole probably because he was infected but still I was sad we didn’t get to see more but kinda happy

Loved the fact that there wasn’t unnecessary sex scenes. I loved that Geralt turned triss down for the simple fact that he thought Yen was dead and was actually dealing with it along with protecting Ciri. I HATE when shows kill off a love interest and the remaining character moves on right away. But i also loved that Yen and Geralt didn’t jump into bed as soon as they saw each other. And he said in the end he didn’t forgive her for almost hurting Ciri. I LOVE that. I know they’re endgame but I like how they’re moving them. They’re not my OTP but i like where they are heading

I can understand why people ship Tisassa and Yennefer because there was some major scenes for them and I’m happy for people that ship them.

Hated Triss’ hair, that wig deserves to be burned seriously what was wrong with her natural curls!?

kinda loved Yen this season, she was a lot more human to me and she needed a hug. She grew but also made mistakes which i’m totally here for. Can’t wait to see where her story goes. 

Geralt, I like how first and foremost he worried for Ciri and did all that he could to do right by her. Surprisingly I loved his scenes with Istred. He grew too as far as character development but not as much as Yennefer

Lambert and Ciri I love their relationship as well. He gives her tough love that I think she appreciates more than anyone because everyone else is kinda treating her as a doll or a pawn.

Fringilla I liked hearing more about her story and how she became so loyal to Nilfgaard but still craved power. She was so close to getting what she wanted if Cahir didn’t fucki it up.

Ciri was awesome I kept seeing that she was the star of season 2 and she most certainly was! This season really showed her depth and I like her. Does she look 12 years old though?? No, not in those low cut dresses. 

Costumes were Gorgeous this season, only thing I HATED was Triss’ hair, Pavetta’s hair and geralt’s YELLOW eyes

Mixed feelings on Cahir, Francesca, even Reince

We saw Dara (who i love! more than Jaskier) which suprised me 

Okay now the Jaskier and Geraskier of it all

Was I disappointed in the lack of Jaskier on season 2? OF FUCKING COURSE but i was not surprised because we got him probably as much as we did in season 1.

Breaking up song? LOVED “I wrote it from the heart, perhaps a broken one” I just 🥺🥺🥺🥺

i loved the prison song more though I’m not gonna lie i kept laughing

I was also disappointed because Joey Batey kept talking about how Jaskier was darker and not really ruled by his friendship with geralt and I just didn’t find that true...yeah in episode 4, he was the Sandpiper, doing a dangerous thing and saving elves but once Geralt showed up?

They turned him into a bumbling Bard that follows Geralt and the writers threw him for comedic relief and the damsel in distress. When Jaskier went off on Geralt for leaving him on that mountain I was like 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 but once they were on the road and Geralt apologized very half heartedly not gonna lie, he got talked down to and treated like a lackey and not worth anyone’s time. He got dismissed by yergen and Lambert like he was a piece of horse dung.

I really hope they start treating him better next season because if this is how they keep making this character, I’m gonna be so disappointed.

[julek]

a humble offering to @west-moor and @kueble, for bringing this post to life. they’re very dumb, your honor. | read on ao3

It starts at dinner one night. 

They settled in a few days ago, bringing the ice cold from the mountains and the snow with them, after trudging up the Killer for two weeks. They sit at the wooden table and before them stands Vesemir’s famous roast, the one Geralt had told Jaskier all about. 

Geralt helps himself to some potatoes, and gestures to Jaskier’s plate. “You want some?”

Before Jaskier can nod, Lambert cuts him off. “Darling,” he says with a pointed tone.

Geralt turns to him, an eyebrow raised in confusion. “What?”

“You seemed to have forgotten you were speaking to your bard, there,” Lambert quips, and sits back with a knowing smirk. “Just wanted to help you out.”

Geralt blinks. “Uh.”

Jaskier notices the way he’s frozen in place, and gently touches his forearm, ignoring Lambert’s non-sequitur. “I’d love some, Geralt. Thank you.” 

“Uh,” Geralt repeats, and doesn’t take his eyes off Lambert as he fills Jaskier’s plate. “Sure.”

+

Jaskier pads into the kitchen the next morning, eyes still fuzzy with sleep and an old, worn woolen sweater hanging off his shoulder. Geralt looks up from his bowl of kasha and smiles. 

“Morning,” Jaskier mumbles, and sits down at the table. 

“Good morning.”

The shout comes from the pantry, followed by the unmistakable sound of pans and cups clattering. “Morning, honey!” 

Jaskier narrows his eyes, and looks at Geralt for help. He shakes his head. “Um. Hi?” 

Out of the pantry walks Lambert, hands full of baking ingredients, a flour scar crossing his cheek. “How’d ya sleep, sweetheart?”

Jaskier decidedly does not blush a bright shade of red. He doesn’t. “Well, that’s just— thank you, Lambert, for asking. I slept well, even though this keep’s freezing cold and my bed was entirely too big for one fragile bard such as myself.”

Lambert frowns. “What do you mean, too big? You’re not sharing with Geralt?”

Geralt chokes on his kasha, momentarily. Jaskier snorts and shakes his head. “No, I’m staying in the east wing.”

“Ah,” Lambert says, a wolfish grin on his face as he ties the apron behind his back. “That’s… interesting.”

He shoots Geralt a look that’s there a second and gone the next, and Jaskier would’ve missed it, if not for the developed skill of observing Witchers and their fleeting emotions. Still, it’s a look he can’t decipher, a mix of amusement and mischief. Best not to find out, he decides. 

“So, Lambert,” he starts, a touch louder than he should. “What’s that you’re making?”

+

Geralt had warned him, Jaskier thinks in retrospect, that Lambert was a bit weird. An acquired taste. And he is, Jaskier won’t deny it, but he’s also incredibly unpredictable — his gruff demeanor and rough disposition always, without fail, betray the sweet words that leave his mouth. 

He’d been brushing the horses down when Lambert ruffled his hair and called him dear. Geralt nearly dropped his sword one morning, when Jaskier walked out onto the courtyards and Lambert called out hello, sunshine. On their way to the library to get absolutely smashed, a gentle touch to his elbow and little bird. 

They’re all incredibly sweet, incredibly unexpected delicacies, and Jaskier doesn’t know what to make of them. Sure, Lambert isn’t horrible to look at in the slightest, what with the entire lean-body, scarred-face look he has going on, with the playful teasing and easy smiles he gets out of him. He’s objectively handsome, and funny, and kind, when he has to be, and Jaskier has let him know, many times. He hasn’t been exactly subtle in feeling his muscles through his linen shirts and sending looks his way whenever he’s said something salacious and tempting — signs so clear even the brother of one of the Continent’s most oblivious Witcher could read them. Which is why it’s so infuriatingly confusing, the fact that name-calling is all Lambert’s got for him. 

And it’s not lost to him at all, the way Geralt frowns and fiddles with his medallion whenever Lambert lets a honey-sweet pet name slip. He doesn’t miss the way Geralt stubbornly looks straight ahead, focused on absolutely nothing at all, nor the way his mouth twitches, almost, almost resembling a pout. 

It’s amusing, to say the least.

+

“Well, I’m off to bed, my wonderful friends,” Jaskier announces one night, after playing a few annoying renditions of Toss a Coin, until he got Eskel to break and beg him to stop. 

The wolves say their goodbyes, and just as Jaskier’s about to leave the Great Hall, Lambert calls after him. 

“Night, love,” he says, offhandedly, and continues his conversation with Eskel, as if nothing had happened. 

Jaskier scans the room, and his eyes fall on Geralt, who’s trying very hard to remain seated, even when his knuckles are white and his leg is bouncing wildly enough to propel him into the night sky. His amber gaze follows Lambert’s movements and if Jaskier didn’t know better, he’d say Geralt was about to throttle his brother. 

“Hmm.” He murmurs. “Goodnight, Lambert. Goodnight, Geralt.”

Jaskier smiles sweetly and leaves the room at a leisurely pace. He can feel Geralt’s eyes on his back.

+

One particularly chilly afternoon, Jaskier’s leaving the library when he hears voices that carry through the hall. 

“Well? Gonna explain yourself?”

Oh, the middle-aged woman that lives inside Jaskier’s heart and loves to gossip jumps up and down in joy at the prospect of what seems to be a very interesting conversation. He slips out of the room and presses his back to the wall, even when he knows the Witchers could sense his presence. It’s more fun if there’s a risk to get caught, he reasons. 

Lambert’s voice is low, and Jaskier can hear his smug smile as he says, “Well, you weren’t doing anything about it.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Geralt’s voice echoes. 

“It means, you thick-headed idiot,” Lambert drags the words out, like he’s speaking to a child. If Jaskier’s quiet, he can hear the way Geralt’s blood boils in his veins. “That you’ve been walking in circles for too long. Jaskier’s here.” At the mention of his name, the bard perks up. 

“I know that, Lambert. I invited him. What’s that got to do with this— this sweet talking thing you’ve got going on? It’s weird. Creeps me out.”

“What? I can be decent when needs must!” Comes Lambert’s offended retort. “What I’m saying, pretty boy, is that he’s a good thing, the kind that Witchers never get to have. Not that you own him or anything— it’s just. He’s good, and he’s obviously waited for you to make a move, sometime in this past decade. He’s here, for fuck’s sake— in an old ruin in the middle of fucking nowhere, holed up with four Witchers and a goat, nothing else. Ain’t exactly a walk in the park.”

Jaskier stands very still, his heart beating out of his chest. 

“Hmm. I still— I don’t deserve him.”

Lambert laughs. “Well, too bad, then. You can’t come to me with that self-deprecating shit, I’m not Eskel. But, fuck, if you don’t deserve him, who the fuck does? Certainly not me, but— I need you to listen very closely— he won’t wait forever. He might even settle for me, if you don’t make a move soon.”

“Ugh.” 

“Yeah.”

Geralt’s footsteps echo down the hall, moving closer to Lambert, Jaskier thinks. 

“You’ll stop with the pet names, then?” 

Lambert laughs, again. “Absolutely not. It’s too fun seeing you get all hot and bothered.” He steps out of the room, thankfully, in the opposite direction, and calls out, “Don’t fuck it up!”

Jaskier lets out a breath and slides to the floor, gathering the new information in his brain. Geralt wants him. He wants him, and worst of all, thinks he’s undeserving — damn him and his humility. He lets out a laugh in disbelief. 

Geralt wants him. 

+

The next morning, when Jaskier walks into the kitchen, he’s greeted by a blushing Geralt. 

“Hi,” Jaskier says, an amused smile curling his lips, and sits down at the table. “How are you this morning, dear?”

Geralt pushes a bowl in his direction, a bit too strongly. “Good.” He coughs. “Uh, I’m good… Sugar face.” 

“Huh?” Jaskier stops mid-bite. He quickly regains his composure. “Um— that’s good, I’m glad, yeah.” 

Geralt grimaces, and an awkward silence follows. Jaskier digs into his breakfast with more enthusiasm than necessary, until Lambert walks in, firewood under both arms. 

“Lambert! Thank the Gods— I mean, uh, it’s so good to see you. It’s a bit chilly this morning, isn’t it? I’m sure you agree, what with coming straight from the great outdoors and such— I’m going to the library, if anyone needs me, uh, just,” he rambles as he washes his bowl, “just call. You know. My name. Jaskier the bard, ha— that’s me! Anyway, see you.” 

He makes haste to leave the kitchen, and as he walks down the hall, he hears Lambert clicking his tongue. 

“Fuck, Wolf, it’s not even mid-morning.”

+

Jaskier stays in the library until the sweet aroma of Vesemir’s stew reaches the room and his stomach rumbles pleasantly at the thought. Given the way he’d fled the kitchen, he wouldn’t be surprised if no one called him to lunch — they probably thought he was having some sort of stroke, with his word-vomiting and hurried escape. He’s just opened a new book when he hears a knock. 

“Come in,” he says, voice steady.

The door opens, and sure enough, Geralt’s standing at the doorway, a sheepish smile on his face and a terribly endearing flush creeping up his neck. 

“Hey, love,” Jaskier says, because it’s difficult to call him otherwise. “You okay?”

“Hmm.” Geralt walks over to his chair, and stands there awkwardly until Jaskier gestures to a bench next to him. “We’ll have lunch soon.”

Jaskier smiles. “I was just thinking about that. It’s stew, isn’t it? Oh, Vesemir spoils me so.”

“Thought you’d be hungry,” Geralt says, looking at his hands. “You left breakfast early.”

Jaskier pales, then lets out a nervous laugh. “Oh! Yes, well, I had suddenly remembered a book I just had to examine more closely, and—”

“Jaskier.”

Geralt’s looking at him now, and Jaskier closes his mouth, choosing to look back into his amber eyes and wait for whatever comes. Nothing does, for a while — they just stare at each other, waiting for the other to speak up. Finally, Geralt does. 

“I invited you up here, to spend the winter with me,” he rasps, “because I couldn’t bear the thought of not being close to you, Jaskier, I— I can’t stand it.”

Jaskier’s heart breaks a little. “Geralt.”

“I should’ve asked you to come up here years ago. I wasn’t brave enough. Thought you’d hate the idea.” He grimaces. 

“Geralt,” Jaskier repeats. “When you asked me to come here with you— you have no idea what it meant to me, knowing you still wanted my company. I couldn’t have been happier.”

Geralt sniffs and gives him a weak smile, his white hair falling on his face.

“I’m not good at this,” he says, and gestures vaguely at the space between them. “The whole…”

“Calling me disgustingly sweet and somewhat alarming pet names?”

Geralt nods.

“I know, dear heart.” Jaskier takes Geralt’s hands in his own. “I know, and I don’t expect you to.”

“I’d still like to call you something, though,” Geralt says, the tiniest hint of a pout on his lips. “Can’t let Lambert best me.” 

Jaskier snorts. “So it’s all about honor, then?” 

Geralt shakes his head. “It’s about you.” 

And oh, he sounds so sincere, so open and fragile, Jaskier can’t find it in himself to tease him any further. 

“You know what I loved the most about traveling to Kaer Morhen with you?”

A tiny frown knits Geralt’s brow. “What?”

“‘T was when we stopped in those hamlets, the ones that aren’t even on maps,” he murmurs. “Where you gather your supplies, where people know you and call you by your name. You know why?”

Geralt shakes his head.

“Because,” Jaskier whispers, bringing their foreheads together, “whenever they asked you about me, about who I was, your answer was always the same.” 

He’s my bard, Geralt had said to the horse trader when they bought a mule. My bard, he’d answered, when the chatty shopkeeper had inquired about the colorful fellow trailing after him. My bard, he’d said with a shrug and a fond smile, as Jaskier and the tailor entwined themselves in an argument about fabrics and the season’s colors.

My bard. 

“You always called me yours.” 

Jaskier closes his eyes when he feels Geralt’s lips on his own, a soft, gentle thing. They move slowly, simply exploring — when they part, there are kisses being pressed to his cheeks, his brow, the corner of his mouth and his jaw.

Geralt smiles at him, and Jaskier smiles back, aware that they probably look like two lovesick fools staring at each other, but far too gone to care. 

“I don’t need flowery names or honey-soaked terms of endearment,” Jaskier assures him. “Being called yours is more than enough.” 

Geralt presses a kiss to his knuckles. “Hmm. Can’t go around claiming you as mine, though. ‘S a bit archaic.”

“Mm. You’re right. Love of my life, my moon and my stars should be enough, then. Rolls off the tongue, even.”

Geralt growls. “Jask.”

“Dearly beloved— no, that’s too formal— I’ve always been fond of Angel, though I doubt I’ve earned that title.” 

Geralt kisses him again, and Jaskier half-suspects it’s less about the tender gesture and more about shutting him up. 

“I’ll think of more, you know. You can’t distract me with kisses forever.”

Geralt huffs a laugh. “Okay.” He pecks his cheek. “Bard.”

“Yours,” Jaskier says smugly. 

Before Geralt can open his mouth, the library door swings open. 

“Fucking finally, Geralt! We’re all so very happy for this revelation, way to go, and all that.” He clasps his hands together. “Now, you both need to get your asses to lunch, otherwise Vesemir will kick you out. Jaskier, baby, please be grossly in love with Geralt later.”

Geralt groans. “Fuck off, Lambert.”

He leaves with a cackle. Jaskier smooths out his doublet, gets up and holds his hand out to Geralt. He grins.

“You coming, sugar face?”

[bamf-jaskier]

The Witcher 💨🍃 Rewatch: Episode 4

WHY IS JASKIER SO FUNNY

Ttgeresss Geralt

Let Jaskier be more of an asshole haha

He’s at his best when he’s being super annoying

Which to Geralt is always ajdhakxnidis

I cannot explain this but the energy they have together is the same energy as mlm wlw together

Like the mlm is chaotic and loud and all over the place and the wlw is surly and quiet to people (may be basing this off me and m best friend here buttt)

Geralt is so not into this and what Jaskier is doing meanwhile Jaskier has the bard energy turned up to 11

Why is Getalt doing what I did with friends I wanted to avoid at parties where u find someone else you know and abandon the person who brought you?

Like damnnn Getalt didn’t even motion for Jaskier to come along he just LEAVES

And Jaskier didn’t even need to start playing yet 😭

Not even a goodbye from Getalt rippp

Ciri: Dara I’m glad ur alive!!

Dara: 😐 I’m in immense pain rn

Dara is so fucking tripped out rn and so confused

Send help

SHITE

Shite

SHYTEEEE

The accents

A shitless death

Great stuff

Oh damn this entire scene with Dara and Ciri is so fucking sad

When she says she’s Calanthe’s granddaughter Dara gets up and BACKS AWAY

He’s hunched over

He’s scared

He’s so scared because he worries that Ciri will hurt him too

And when Dara talks about all the pain he went through Ciri just is a spoiled princess :/

Like dude ur destiny isn’t nearly as significant as his whole family getting killed by YOUR family

WHY DO I FEEL LIKE CALANTHE IS FLIRTING WITH GERALT

maybe she’s just built that way

Lord Peregrine deserves MORE RESPECT

bitches

LORD PEREGRINE

“My potent seed”

Sir I have heard that exact line at bars

Wow okay Calanthe like he’s being a misogynist but damn….no reason to be racist

“Is it true you drink piss water and feast on your own young?”

Like damnnn chill tf out

Right after this Nilfgaard begins expansion too omfg Calanthe kickstarted their imperialism 💀

YENNEFER LOOKS SO UNIMPRESSED

Her voice is so 🥵🥵

Witcher passes Bechdel test 😩🤚

Also wow this queen has ISSUES

yen’s little splash of blood on her face….effervescent

Okay but Yen must be so fucking powerful

She opened so many portals so many different places

Like damn

This show is sooo damn gory

Lots of blood all the time

I love it

SHE IS OPENING THE PORTAL AND HOLDING THE MONSTER IN PLACE DAMN LETS GO

dude I should NOT call the person rescuing you useless

Where’s my AU where the baby lives and Yen raises her??

Jaskier is the theatre kid who’s in every production as the lead and also has dated most girls in the department

Calanthe meanwhile is using Geralt as free therapy

GERALT IS GIVING CALANTHE THE SIDE EYE OF SEDUCTION WHY

Or well the eyes he makes at Jaskier when doing the bull balls story

Maybe it’s annoyed eyes??

Or maybe he wants to fuck Jaskier AND Calanthe

He looks so stupid as a hedgehog

THE FIGHT ARE SO GOOD IN THSI SHOW

It’s so fucking AMAZING

Oh god I’m breathing so hard watching this fight

This is so hot I’m akskdiidfij

OKAY EIST

Omfgggg

Damn Calanthe kicks he own soldier down

The look Eist is giving Calanthe

Wow what a bitch sacrificing her daughter

That’s such an awful way for the child to die

Yen’s boob is almost out

And bloody

This scene hurts

DONT TOUCH THÉ WOUND WITH YOUR DIRTY HAND

This is so weird with the knowledge Pavetta is 15

The actress looks so much older

Please stop claiming the law of surprise 2021

OH FCUK YOU DUNY

Bitch

I will Eat your BABIES

(Well okay not YOUR babies. But. Other babies)

“As true for a commoner as a king”

SNAP CRACKLE POP BITCH

also I love the connection of Geralt and Yen talking about children

But why is Duny kinda hot??

Imma go cry

I only just noticed Calanthe’s braid. It’s so gorgeous and intricate

“The sea hounds of skellige” pffft that sounds so dumb

Also when did she accept?!? Lol

Ciri is having a GREAT time rn

Also why is she seeing Cahir kill her

Why do I feel like Dara joined a pyramid scheme??

brokilon is a an essential oils pyramid scheme

Ciri: why isn’t it working

Yen has such a gorgeous profile

Good monologue

Would be good in a POI for debate

Also fuck you Geralt lolz ur got PLAYED

Jaskier is getting LAIDDD

Cute to Cintra Burning

My friend (who hasn’t seen the show ever(: WHAT DID GERALT DO

Also umm Ciri doing a little drugs here huh

[potrix-the-queerschlaeger]

who made you smile again

For @dls-ao3, who wanted Geralt to realise that punching your bard is never okay.

This story can also be found here on my AO3.

- - -

• it doesn't matter who hurt you, or broke you down, what matters is who made you smile again •

Jaskier’s sitting at the biggest table in the tavern when Geralt returns, surrounded by what seems to be half the village. He’s talking animatedly, hands gesturing and pointing wildly, and he’s temptingly flushed down to what Geralt can see of his chest, hair tousled and eyes sparkling with mirth.

He's in his element, nearly as much so as when he’s playing; Jaskier lives to perform, in one way or another.

Geralt allows himself a small, fond quirk of his lips before he schools his face into neutrality, and starts making his way across the crowded room. Jaskier spots him as he approaches, and his own smile somehow, impossibly, grows even wider, making Geralt’s chest feel all warm and tingly.

“Ah, the man of the hour!” Jaskier crows as he pats the empty seat next to himself, then tugs at Geralt’s sleeve impatiently until Geralt settles down with a grunt. “Ale and food, for the brave Witcher who, oh so heroically, slew the swarms of nekkers that have been terrorising your humble town!”

Geralt doesn’t roll his eyes, but the urge is definitely there. Instead, he accepts the tankard someone passes him, and mouths, “Six nekkers,” behind Jaskier’s back, much to the amusement of the gathered people.

When Jaskier turns to scowl at him suspiciously, Geralt looks at him blankly, and takes an innocent sip of his ale.

The innkeeper brings him a heaping plate of meats and cheeses soon after—on the house, as a thank you for getting rid of the nekkers—and Geralt eats in silence, letting the rumbling sound of Jaskier’s voice wash away the last traces of adrenaline from the fight. One of Jaskier’s hands lands on Geralt’s knee, a comforting and familiar weight, and when he focuses on it, Geralt can make out the soft buttercups-teak-amber scent that is Jaskier under the more prominent tavern smells.

The conversations going on around him are mere background noise, right up until a barked, “That's gotta be utter horseshit, bard!” has all his senses hone in on a man across the table.

His voice is full of annoyed disbelief aimed at Jaskier, and could easily turn into genuine anger under the wrong circumstances; it happens often enough, with inebriated people spoiling for a good fight. Geralt sits up a little taller, and fixes his gaze on the man, eyes narrowed ever so slightly.

But Jaskier merely chuckles, light and disarming, and pours a goblet of wine. He slides it over to the man with a cheeky wink, and a teasing, “Oh, my friend, you greatly underestimate the force of nature that is a Witcher.”

Turning to address the whole table again, he continues grandly, “Armwrestling a half-giant? Not even a challenge! Taking down a troll? Like stealing sweets from a babe!”

Geralt has, in fact, had the misfortune of landing in a brawl or two with trolls. He’s not overly keen on repeating the experience, although he’s not going to point that out right now. The man who’d questioned Jaskier’s words is looking increasingly enraptured, nodding along eagerly now, and everyone else is listening with interest and awe as Jaskier keeps relating some of their more outlandish and peculiar adventures.

“But a Witcher is not only a most formidable creature in battle, oh no,” Jaskier says conspiratorially, quieter, and the people lean in closer, like moths caught by a flame. “Their skills can prove incredibly useful in other, more private endeavours, if you get my meaning.”

A young woman lets out a scandalised giggle, while one man chokes on his ale hard enough that his laughing friend has to clap him on the back.

Under the table, Geralt pinches the inside of Jaskier’s thigh. Jaskier yelps through his own laughter, slanting Geralt a mischievous look.

A little nervously, another woman asks, “So much strength, though, is it not dangerous?”

“A Witcher’s strength is evenly matched by his control,” Jaskier explains, somewhat testily, and leans most of his weight against Geralt, as if to prove a point. “None of us have anything to fear. Well, none of you, I’d wager, unless one amongst you reveals themselves to be even more incessantly talkative than dear old me.”

There are chuckles all around the table, followed by a few more questions, and Jaskier himself is loose and relaxed where he’s pressed to Geralt’s side, but Geralt himself stiffens at the carelessly thrown out words.

A memory niggles at him, old and half-forgotten, though once he manages to pull it to the front of his mind, Geralt suddenly feels sick. Years ago, shortly after they’d met, on the trek up Filavandrel’s mountain; Jaskier’s constant chattering, a passing mention of Geralt’s old, hated moniker, Geralt’s fist in Jaskier’s stomach, Jaskier’s pained coughing and wheezing.

As if burnt, Geralt snatches his hand away from Jaskier’s leg, staring down at his leather-covered fingers in disgust. Geralt would never use his full strength on an innocent human, that much is true, but he’d hurt Jaskier nonetheless. Back then, just now most likely, and how many other times, without even realising?

And why?

Geralt’s had abuse hurled at him for decades, from both strangers and people he’d foolishly allowed himself to trust. Folk have spat at him, thrown rocks and rotten food after him, refused him pay, and chased him out of town with pitchforks and torches. He’s been tricked, betrayed, hated, yet none of that ever made him lash out with violence.

“Geralt,” Jaskier's voice is laced with concern, quiet enough for only Geralt to hear. He peers at Geralt with furrowed brows, but Geralt can't hold his gaze, ducking his head to escape it after a moment.

He keeps his eyes lowered while Jaskier makes their excuses to his disappointed audience, shame and guilt swirling together in his stomach. Even now, when he least deserves it, Jaskier's priority is to take care of Geralt, even when it goes against what he must have planned for the rest of his night.

Jaskier exchanges a few quick words and a handful of coins with the innkeeper, ordering them a bath and some more ale. They climb the stairs to their room in silence, and even while he helps Geralt out of his armour, Jaskier only hums a slow melody under his breath. It's for his comfort, Geralt knows, and it makes the guilt clump and rise, settling as an aching lump in his throat.

When there's a knock at the door, he's almost relieved that Jaskier has to move away to go open it.

Geralt keeps undressing as the buckets of hot water are carried in, and snatches up one of the tankards as soon as they're put down on the table in the corner, downing it in three big gulps. It does nothing to calm his ugly thoughts, but it does provide a distraction, even if a disappointingly temporary one.

Jaskier appears at his side to take it out of his unresisting hand, fingers whispering a caress across Geralt's wrist. “Come on, then, before the water grows cold.”

The heat of the bath does soothe away some of Geralt's tension. But then Jaskier goes to fetch a stool, goes to sit down at Geralt's back, and Geralt finds himself blurting, “Join me.”

Sharing baths is nothing unusual, hasn't been for some time, although it doesn't feel like something Geralt should be allowed to indulge in, right now. The thought of letting Jaskier take care of him, however, makes Geralt feel much worse, all the more as if he's taking advantage.

If Jaskier's surprised, he doesn't let on. He sheds his clothes unselfconsciously, right where he stands, and steps into the tub with an appreciative sigh. Geralt maneuvers him until his back is flush against Geralt's chest, his head tipped back to rest on Geralt's shoulder.

Reaching out over the edge of the tub, Geralt fetches one of the washcloths Jaskier had laid out, lathering it up before he starts to gently run it down Jaskier's arm. He falters briefly, feeling horribly selfish for enjoying the contact, but then Jaskier murmurs, “That's lovely, sweetheart, don’t stop,” and Geralt couldn't refuse even if he wanted to.

His mind drifts while he washes Jaskier, back to that very first day they’d met.

He remembers how irritated he’d been by the aimlessly yapping bard, to begin with, but also how strangely intriguing he’d found him. Coming across a human brave, or foolish, enough not to fear his kind had been rare, back then, and even with Jaskier’s tireless work, even after the countless ballads singing praise to the Witchers and their good deeds, most people are still at least wary of them.

Jaskier had been an anomaly, and Geralt had been curious, otherwise he would have ditched his pesky shadow before they’d ever set foot outside Posada.

For hours of their journey up the mountain, Jaskier had talked with barely enough breaks for breathing, doing his very best to sell himself as a worthy travelling companion. And, to his own astonishment, Geralt had found himself growing amused by Jaskier’s continuously more ridiculous suggestions—”A horse groomer! My flower crowns are things of legendary beauty, Roach would look marvelous in one!”—and actually considering his offer.

And then Jaskier had mentioned Blaviken, and Geralt had come back to himself, wondering what the fuck it was he was doing.

Allowing a human bard to travel with him, smiling to himself at Jaskier’s antics, horsing about with a bard when he should be focused on his task, on his work, on the Path.

And Jaskier’d still been talking, always talking, and suddenly Geralt had been furious, and—

And he’d punched Jaskier.

For daring to make him feel something beside completely fucking miserable for the first time in what had seemed like forever. For not being afraid of him, for trying to befriend him, for being good.

Too good for Geralt.

Hand shaking, Geralt drops the washcloth next to the tub so he can pull at Jaskier’s leg, exposing the inside of his thigh. And there, high up, it is; a small red mark on otherwise unblemished skin, standing out like a stark reminder of all of Geralt’s faults.

A wounded noise tears itself out of Geralt’s throat before he can stop it, and he stands quickly, turning away from Jaskier and his confused, “Geralt?” to climb out of the tub. He’s dripping everywhere, trembling all over as he stalks into the bedroom proper, then stops in the middle of it with no idea what to do.

A tentative hand lands on his back, between his shoulders, and Geralt twitches, but can’t find it in himself to shake it off. Seemingly emboldened, Jaskier pushes him towards the bed, then onto it, following after Geralt to straddle his lap.

Geralt realises his mistake when gentle hands cup his face, and intent blue eyes bore into his, Jaskier murmuring, quiet but determined, “Talk to me, Geralt.”

There’s nowhere for Geralt to look but directly at Jaskier. He clenches his jaw, grits his teeth, but Jaskier doesn’t back off. Instead, he starts rubbing his thumbs over Geralt’s cheeks, slow and soft, eyes firmly locked on Geralt’s.

Barely audible, hoarsely, Geralt grits out, “I hurt you.”

Jaskier frowns at that, moving one hand from Geralt’s face to poke at the bruise on his thigh. “This?” he asks with a disbelieving little chuckle. “Geralt, darling, I’ve hurt myself worse by walking into doors. Or roughhousing with my brothers, as a child. Or tripping over my own clumsy feet. It was in jest, I don’t mind. I like you teasing me, you know I do. And marking me, though I usually prefer your mouth to be doing the actual marking.”

Which Geralt knows, he really does, but it does little to reassure him right now. “Not this,” he forces out, then amends, “Not only this.”

“If this is about the dragon mountain again,” Jaskier begins, tenderly tucking a few strands of damp hair behind Geralt’s ears, “you have to know, by now, that I’ve accepted your apology. And forgiven you, sweetheart.”

Which Geralt also knows, though a reminder of that particular conversation is never a pleasant one. “You always do. Forgive me. And I—I keep hurting you.”

“Geralt, what—”

“When we met,” the words feel like rough gravel in Geralt’s mouth, “the day with the sylvan. I hurt you.”

Understanding flashes across Jaskier’s face. “You punched me. And I reminded you, tonight, didn’t I?”

At Geralt’s terse nod, Jaskier laughs softly. “It was a long time ago—”

“That’s no excuse!” Geralt snaps, then immediately clenches his mouth shut again.

Instead of rearing back, or getting angry, however, Jaskier turns thoughtful. “It isn’t, I suppose,” he allows after a moment. Rubbing at the tense muscles in Geralt’s jaw, he wants to know, “What happened? That day, I mean? Because, Melitele knows, I’ve made you furious since.”

Geralt has to close his eyes. “You showed no fear. You were annoying. You made me feel—” he cuts himself off, gives a helpless shrug. “You made me feel.”

“Oh, you old fool,” Jaskier says, nothing but fondness in his voice and face when Geralt dares to glance at him. He leans in to brush a brief, featherlight kiss over Geralt’s lips, then leans their foreheads together. He huffs a laugh, eyes crinkling in humour. “That would do it, wouldn’t it?”

“Jaskier—” Geralt tries to protest, but is promptly shushed with another kiss.

“Do you regret it?” Jaskier asks, and Geralt nods.

“Of course you do. Would you do it again?”

Geralt shakes his head.

“No, you wouldn’t. Because you’re a good man, Geralt. You have faults, you misstep, as does everyone else. But you learn, from every single mistake, and that is such a precious gift, one that not nearly enough people possess. You try so, so hard to overcome all the prejudice, the disadvantages, the adversities that have been put in your way, and I am so, so incredibly proud of you, my love.”

Geralt genuinely does not know what his face does at that proclamation, but whatever it is, it has Jaskier snort inelegantly. “Yes, yes, I know. We’re done talking, I promise.”

Relieved, in more ways than he can count, Geralt cranes his neck to kiss Jaskier properly.

And when Jaskier demands, murmured hotly against Geralt’s lips, “Show me what that Witcher strength of yours is good for, darling,” Geralt doesn’t hesitate.

[advena87]

Aiden & Lambert’s love story because we deserve more than one and we didn't get any (at least not in canon). Long Post!

check out also Kaer Morhen Shenanigans

Here is: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8 and Daily Lambert

also Keira & Lambert’s love story and… this.

I love playing with incorrect quotes. The ones below are already used a few times in Kaer Morhen shenanigans, but I modified and changed them, and added a lot of new ones.

So the idea is that young witchers from the griffin and cat schools come to Kaer Morhen - including Coen and Aiden. The purpose of the visit is for aspiring witchers to learn something from each other, and in fact it’s just an excuse to play with the idea of Lambert x Aiden. Of course, Lambert’s witcher brothers will try to help him with his crush, and they will not miss the opportunity to make fun of him.

The setting is like this because the idea that Geralt, Eskel and Berengar will be Lambert's wingmen is simply priceless. I know that this configuration had no right to happen in the canon, but the canon has hurt us more than once. That's why we always have to fix everything. And that's why Berengar appears in my posts. In my opinion he deserved it and you can't change my mind. And I think he and Lambert have so much in common that it's really a shame they never met in games. I think that they would have a beautiful dynamics of the oldest and youngest brother.

Anyway I hope you enjoy it! :)

.

Aiden: Hi, I am-

Lambert, shaking his hand: Handsome.

Aiden: -Aiden. And you are?

Lambert: Apparently not as straight as I thought I was.

***

Lambert: Can I ask a dumb question?

Berengar: Better than anyone I know.

Lambert: Is it gay to think about your best mate in the shower?

Berengar: …

Geralt: …

Eskel: …

Lambert: Asking for a friend.

Berengar: …

Geralt: …

Eskel: …

Lambert: But now seriously: I’m not gay if I wanna date Aiden as like bros, right?

Geralt: I’m no expert but that does sound kinda gay.

Berengar: I’m an expert. That’s gay.

***

Lambert: I swing both ways.

Lambert: Violently. With a sword.

Lambert: Also, I’m bisexual.

Lambert: … promise you won’t tell anyone?

Berengar: Your secret is safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

*later*

Eskel: The printer messed up the invitations. It was supposed to say “Lambert’ birthday”.

Geralt: What does it say instead?

Eskel: “Lambert’ bi”

Berengar: Well that could still work.

Geralt: Wait, what? No, Lambert is straight.

Berengar: Trust me, he isn’t. The only straight thing he is gonna do is that he is gonna go straight to hell.

Eskel: Wait, Berengar, isn’t this thing between Lambert and Aiden supposed to be a secret?

Berengar: Hardly. The only people who don’t know Lambert loves Aiden are Lambert and Aiden. And Geralt for some reason.

***

Eskel: You and Aiden seem very close.

Lambert: We're just friends.

Berengar: Oh please, we all know you're a heartbeat away from getting his name tattooed on your ass.

***

Lambert: You look nice, I want to kiss you.

Aiden: WHAT

Lambert: I SAID IF YOU DIED I WOULDN’T MISS YOU

Berengar, behind Lambert's back, mouthing to Aiden: LIES

***

*Aiden and Coen talking and laughing*

Lambert: *staring at them silently*

Eskel: You’re really quiet today, Lambert.

Lambert: Nobody plans a murder out loud.

***

Lambert: Why does this griffin dude keep talking to you?

Aiden: Lambert, we are friends.

Lambert: I know you two are friends but…

Aiden, deadpan: No, Lambert, I meant you and I are friends.

Lambert: Yeah, we’re friends, but I’d fuck you if you asked.

Aiden: What?

Lambert: What?

Berengar, eating popcorn: He said he’d fuck you if you asked.

***

Lambert: Fuck, Aiden, you look like hell!

Aiden: Yeah? I just got back.

Lambert: Dude, who hurt you?

Aiden: Do you want a list or something?

Lambert:

Lambert: *grabs sword* Actually, yes.

Aiden: No, wait, we can’t solve all our problems with murder.

Lambert: How about just this problem?

***

Lambert: I think I might have a crush on Aiden…

Berengar: Congratulations, you’re officially the last one to know.

Geralt: Aiden would never date a jerk like you.

Lambert: Fuck you, shouldn’t I be one of your best friends?

Gerelt: Yeah, which is how I know you’re a jerk.

Eskel: So what are you going to do?

Lambert: I don’t know, something dramatic I hope.

Berengar: Oh for fuck’s sake, just ask Aiden out! What’s the worst that could happen?

Lambert: Humiliation, embarrassment, fire, explosions, collisions, tears, nudity and death.

***

Aiden: Can you ride?

Lambert: *looks at Aiden up and down* Yes.

Aiden: I meant the horse, Lambert.

***

Lambert: How do I politely ask him to slam me against a wall and make out with me?

Geralt: Lambert, it’s four in the morning, if you want to make out with Aiden just do it quietly, I don’t care how you ask him!

*next day*

Aiden: *hands Lambert a water bottle*

Lambert: *drinking it* Thanks, what’s it for?

Aiden: Geralt says you get thirsty around me.

Lambert: *chokes on water*

***

Lambert, smirking: So when are you gonna go out with me?

Aiden, smiling back: I don’t know, when are you gonna ask me out?

Lambert, freaking out: uhhh....

*later that day*

Berengar: So you ran away like a fucking coward?

Lambert: I DIDNT EXPECT HIM TO FLIRT BACK!!

***

Eskel: Why are you ignoring Aiden?

Lambert: I’m playing hard to get.

Geralt: Why would you do that? You’re already hard to want.

***

Eskel: I shouldn’t be interfering in this but give him a chance. Lambert would throw himself in front of a speeding horse for you.

Aiden: Lambert would throw himself in front of a speeding horse for fun.

Eskel: Ok, point taken, but don’t worry, he grows on you.

Aiden: Oh, really?

Eskel:

Eskel: No, actually, he just gets worse.

***

Aiden: I’m having problems with Lambert.

Geralt: Problems like ‘his dead body won’t fit in your cupboard’ or problems like ‘you like him’?

Aiden: ...

Aiden: Problems like ‘I like him’.

Geralt: Too bad, I could have helped with the other one.

***

Aiden: I have 4 friends.

Eskel: But there are 5 of us. Me, Geralt, Berengar, Lambert and Coen.

Aiden: Lambert is my special idiot.

Aiden: That’s different.

***

Aiden: Lambert, look me in the eyes and be straight with me.

Lambert: So… Do I look at you? Or do I be straight? I can’t do both.

***

Lambert: I’m in love with you.

Aiden: That’s… a terrible idea.

Lambert: Yeah, I have a lot of those.

Aiden: ...

Aiden: Well then, let's try.

Lambert: Wait, does that mean you like me? For my personality?

Aiden: I know, I was surprised too.

***

Lambert and Aiden: *walk into the room together with happiness written on their faces*

Berengar: So who finally confessed?

Lambert: It was me, I made sure it was short and sweet.

Aiden: You yelled, “Listen here, you little shit, I have feelings for you and it’s about time you acknowledged them!” from the castle tower.

Lambert: It worked though.

Aiden: All in all, this may come as a surprise to you, but Lambert and I are dating now.

Geralt: Damn. Now I owe Eskel 20 crowns. You guys couldn’t have waited another week?

Lambert: Wait, what?

Eskel: You two just earned me 20 crowns is what, so thank you.

***

Aiden: When you're gay in your house with nobody else, you're homolone.

Lambert: When you're bi and there's nobody else around, you're biyourself.

Berengar: You're two morons.

***

Coen: So, you've already made friends with Eskel, Geralt and Berengar?

Aiden: Yeah.

Coen: Great, just a little advice - stay away from Lambert.

Aiden: ...

Aiden: Lambert is my boyfriend.

Coen: Oh...

Coen: Um...

Coen: So, what's he like?

Aiden: Have you ever met a human version of a headache?

***

Coen, pointing at Lambert: Is this guy bothering you?

Aiden: Yeah, but he’s my boyfriend, I signed up for this

***

Aiden: You’re annoying.

Lambert: But you love me >:3

Aiden: Doesn’t make you any less annoying.

***

Lambert: *spills water on his shirt* Oh, what have I done? Now my shirt is all see-through.

Geralt: *rolls his eyes* And so are you. I know what you’re doing.

AIden: So do I, but I am enjoying the show immensely.

***

Lambert: Did it hurt?

Aiden, rolling his eyes: When I fell from heaven?

Lambert: No.

Lambert: When you fell for me.

Aiden: ...

Aiden: Actually, yes. It’s hurts every day.

Berengar, from distance: BUUURN!

***

Coen: It’s so exhausting having a boyfriend! You’re lucky you don’t have one.

AIden: Actually, last time I checked I did have a boyfriend.

Coen: No, you have a Lambert. That’s not the same thing.

Aiden: What do you mean?

Coen: Well, he’s more like a puppy. Excitable, loud, always happy to see you, protective, and he bites anyone who threatens you.

Aiden: …

Aiden: Point taken.

***

Aiden: YOU’RE SO ANNOYING! I CANT BELIEVE IM DATING YOU!

Lambert: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! YOURE THE ONE WHO CHEATED!

Aiden: Because YOU cheated FIRST!

Lambert: YOU STUPID-

Eskel: I think we’re done playing gwent for tonight….

Geralt: Wait, no. I’m enjoying this.

Aiden: Don't you call me stupid!

Lambert: Okay, then how about 'bitch'?!

Aiden: Arrogant dick!

Lambert: Spoiled asshole!

Aiden: Fuck you!

Lambert: Fuck YOU!

Aiden: FUCK YOU!!!

Lambert: FUCK!!! YOU!!!

Aiden: ...

Aiden: My room, ten minutes.

Geralt: Okey... not what I expected.

Eskel: And we're done here.

***

Lambert: I have an idea, but I’m going to need your permission.

Aiden: Sudenly you need my permission? Why?

Lambert: Cause if I mess it up, I don’t want it to be just my fault.

Aiden: That sounds like a really risky and gay plan.

Lambert: So? You in?

Aiden: I thought it was an obvious answer.  

***

Aiden: I want to hear those three little words.

Lamber: I love you.

Aiden: Try again.

Lambert: Fine.

Lambert: I will behave.

Aiden: :)

***

Aiden: Close your eyes and hold out your hand.

Lambert: I played this game once with my brothers and got slimed by a toad.

Aiden: It’s not a toad.

***

Lambert: I didn’t raise you to be like this.

Aiden: You’re my boyfriend. You didn’t raise me at all.

Lambert: And yet you still call me daddy.

Aiden: Oh for the love of-

***

Eskel: I sleep with a knife under my pillow.

Geralt: Weak. I sleep with a sword under mine.

Lambert: You’re both pathetic.

Berengar: What killer weapon do you sleep with then, Mr. Badass?

Lambert, proud and confident: Aiden.

***

Aiden: The food's too hot, I can't eat it.

Lambert: You're too hot and I still eat you.

Berengar: It's family moments like these that we will never forget.

Geralt: With a good therapist, hopefully I will.

Eskel: I'm not hungry anymore.

Vesemir: One dinner. ONE NORMAL DINNER!!

***

Lambert: *phone starts ringing*

Eskel: *looks at who is calling*

Eskle, laughs: So you call Vesemir 'daddy'?

Lambert: *answers call and makes direct eye contact with Eskel*

Lambert: Hey, Aiden.

Eskel: *chokes on drink*

***

Geralt: Okay Lambert, truth or dare?

Lambert: Truth.

Geralt, smirking: Why did you get kicked out of the brothel?

Lambert, looking absolutely horrified: Oh no…

Aiden, whipping his head around so fast Eskel almost shits himself: You fucking what?!

Lambert: Look, you can’t be mad at me! I was just there, minding my own business-

Aiden: We both know that’s a load of crap, Lambert, you’re lying!

Lambert: Does this look like the face of a liar?

Aiden: You really don’t want to hear my thoughts on your face right now.

Lambert: Ok, you know what? Fuck you!

Aiden: Later. Now listen here, you little shit-

Geralt, laughing: Living my best life.

Eskel: Oh my God, Geralt, what did you do, they’re going to kill each other.

Geralt: This isn’t about them.

Aiden, siting on Lambert and beating crap out from him: Really Lambert, I expected better from you!

Lambert, rolling them and pinning Aiden to the ground: Then that’s your own fault! I’m not responsible for your expectations!

Aiden: Bite me!

Lambert: Where?

Aiden: ...

Lambert: So you going to take a swing? Or you just going to staring into my eyes?

Aiden: Hmm, what was that? I was busy staring into your eyes...

Labert: Oh you beautiful bastard! Just punch me already!

*Berengar enters room*

Berengar: What the fuck is going on here? Are they fighting or making out?

Eskel: At this point, I honestly can't tell.

*later*

Lambert: Eskel, how do I get revenge on Geralt?

Eskel: The best revenge is letting go and living your life to the fullest.

Lambert: …

Lambert: Berengar, how do I -

Berengar: Brick.

***

Aiden: How do you usually get out of these messes?

Lambert: I don’t, I just make an even bigger one that cancels the first one out.

Aiden: That sounds like a terrible plan.

Lambert: Oh, I’ve had worse.

***

Aiden: I’m fucking an idiot.

Eskel: Isn’t that grammatically wrong? Shouldn’t it be “I’m a fucking idiot”?

Aiden: No, I’m fucking an idiot.

Eskel: ???

Aiden, sighing: Ok, watch out.

Aiden: Yo, Lambert, are you high?

Lambert: What?

Aiden: High!

Lambert: Hello!

Aiden to Eskel, pointing to Lambert: That’s the idiot.

***

*witchers face complications during the contract. Lambert is abducted for the ransom*

Lambert, offended: You think I’m only worth 10.000 crowns?!

Kidnappers: What?

Lambert: Give me that *takes the megaphone*

Lambert: Make it 1 billion and we can think about it.

Aiden, from outside: LAMBERT SHUT THE FUCK UP!

***

Lambert: Okay, okay, what if I microwave a spoon? Steal some bees? Oh, oh, let's try to fuse corn and apples!

Aiden: What the fuck?

Aiden: Lambert, I asked you how we should spend our anniversary, I clearly do not remember requesting for ways to disappoint your family.

Lambert: Sorry, force of habit.

***

Lambert, drunk at 1AM: *in pajamas and blasting ABBA in his room* Gimmie gimmie gimmie my man after midnight! Won’t somebody help me-

Geralt in the other room: Aiden is dead. Get over it and go to bed! There’s your help.

Lambert: [drunken sobs]

.

[corancoranthemagicalman]

C’s Sort Of Bi-Monthly Rec List

Guest Starring WITCHER FICS (and by Witcher I mean Geraskier,,, whoops,,,)

I’m gonna tag @protectjaskier in this because they were asking for Fic Recs and I’ve been meaning to post a Big Ol’ Fic Rec Masterpost.

i’ll be here all week T+ 2.7k by Pence ( @phckpence on Twitter )

A beautiful fix-it fic with an open ending that leaves the reading very hopeful. No kissies, unfortunately, but sometimes that smile is just as sweet a sign of affection. This was actually my first bookmarked fic!! Really well done. Non AU

His Touch M 6.2k by Sevent ( @seventfics on Tumblr )

Some beautifully done Hurt/Comfort touch-Starved!Geralt. Excellent pacing with some wonderfully executed Roach and Jaskier friendship. There are some great characterizations done in both dialogue and monologue. Non AU

front row praises E 25k by The_Watchers_Crown 

You might THINK this is just my horny on main recommendation (which it is, partially) but it’s ALSO super friggin’ soft and heart-warming. I don’t want to spoil anything, but it’s got one of the most gut-punching lines that makes my knees weak. SPOILER: it goes something like, "I don’t like riding away any more than you like watching me go.” Non AU

Honey You’re Familiar T+ 10.2k by WednesdaysDaughter ( @sweetambiguity on Tumblr )

Okay, I’m gonna blast out WednesdaysDaughter as one of my favorite Geraskier fic writers. I just now followed their Tumblr as I was writing this up. Amazingly talented and very sweet. AnYWAYS! This fic is the amnesia fic I didn’t know I wanted. Very well done with good friendships and pining. Non AU

Rules And Regulations T+ 5.4k by ohmygoshwhatascream

Another Jaskier and Roach friendship feature. The horse is actually a metaphor for love, just like the tag says. A really well-done fic that plays to all of my favorite characterizations and relationships. Non AU

Truth and Roses T+ 4.4k by dornfelder ( @uniwolfwerecorn on Tumblr)

VERY SAD. UNREQUITED LOVE. PINING IN THE HIGHEST DEGREE. MURDER OF MY HEART. But very well done. I usually don’t recommend anything but Happy Ending fics because I don’t read anything but Happy Endings; however, this is the one exception I can think of off-hand. Non AU

A Rotten Tongue T+ 9.2k by xdandelionxbloomx ( @xdandelionxbloomx on Tumblr)

Yet another Geraskier Author I highly recommend. (I probably would recommend more but I am so, so bad at names.) This is one of my favorite Banshee!Jaskier fics though!! One of my favorite Creature!Jaskier headcanons done in exceedingly high fashion. Bravo. Non AU save for Jaskier isn’t human

home is nowhere, therefore you E 18.1k by Ark ( @et-in-arkadia on Tumblr )

I’mma be honest. This is one of my favorites. I’ve read it three times. So, so, so well done. Excellent use of Fae-lore and fairy tale elements. Of course, that E tag is telling of some very steamy times as well. So you can have your cake and eat it too. Non AU

The Witcher Wolf T+ 11.4k by im_fairly_witty ( @im-fairly-whitty on Tumblr)

Curses and True Love meet in this excellent Hurt/Comfort fic. Jaskier’s heart has a lot of wounds and maybe this strange and beautiful wolf can help him out. Really, just an all around excellent use of the curse and wonderful take on Jaskier’s character. (And the other characters too!) Non AU

Horse Sense M 17.6k by Miershooptier

Another fic with Roach as a main character. Need I say more? Jaskier and Roach always have such a beautiful relationship as depicted by the fandom. I greedily take all of them. Non AU

Of soulmarks and one-sided matches T+ 17.2k by ylc

SOULMATES! One of my favorite soulmates. It’s words written on skin soulmates and it’s just,,, very lovely. Very well done. Lots of pining and I love it. Soulmate AU but it takes place in a very Witcher ‘verse so?

Truth of The Heart M 22.3k by CosmicOcelot

PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO THE WARNINGS. There is plenty implied noncon and that might make ya iffy. If you can get past the tags, this is DEFINITELY one of my favorites. Excellent storytelling that’s reminiscent of the show’s unusual timeline presentation while still being easy to follow along. It’s gonna hurt before it gets better, but it is well worth it. Non AU

500 Crowns M 9k by vands88

Here’s the thing. This fic is Established Relationship and yet We’re Sort Of Fucking Each Other But Don’t Talk About It So Here We Are. I love it. Geraskier is like the main focus but there’s still a beautiful use of Found Family and Ciri as a really good character in this. I’ve seen it be rec’d by a few people and it definitely deserves it. Bravo job. Non AU

tounges tied M 14.4k by gwynnbleidd (imnotokiedokey)

I haven’t had a language kink like this since Game of Thrones. (Thanks, David. Peterson.) Very very amazingly done fic with awesome characterizations of Jaskier, Geralt, and the scenarios in which they find themselves in. The second chapter has the in-text quotations which lowkey wish I had known before reading the first chapter and linking to each translation, but it was all definitely worth it and the second chapter made me read it again. Non AU

a kind of emptiness E 1.3k by iven ( @summoning on Tumblr )

This is the fic that introduced me to the possibilities of Chireadan and Jaskier. Another bittersweet ending but I really liked it. Bravo. Non AU

My Heart Is Growing Weak T+ 5k by WednesdaysDaughter (I told you I liked this author)

We all wanted a fic based off that similar mythos that Pirates of the Caribbean did with a heart in a jar and this fic delivered. Happy Endings, promise. Non AU

Do It Again E 6.7k by thisgirlsays22 ( @geralt-jaskier on Tumblr )

Time Loops? Time Loops. I usually don’t like time loops. I don’t like time travel and I’m very picky. HOWEVER, this one definitely deserves a top spot on the list. Geralt has to relive the three days of the Dragon Hunt and realizes a few things. (Done for Day 5 of Geraskier Week. I don’t know if I missed any of these other ones being a part of that. Whoops.) Non AU

How To Protect Your Bard T+ 5.4k by bulletincookie

ACCIDENTAL COURTING FIC. ACCIDENTAL COURTING FIC. ACCIDENTAL COURTING FIC. Do I need to say more than that?? Really?? How about disgruntled Geralt being protective and Jaskier being romantic? Yeah? Yeah. Non AU

Broken Lute G 4.6k by CasuallyScreaming ( @casuallyscreaming on Tumblr )

Fix-It Fic. This one has some gorgeous dialogue. I literally started rec’ing it after the first line Geralt spoke. Very excellent. Bravo. Non AU

I’ve got a few more bookmarked that are all excellent which you can find in my bookmarks. If you look through my #geraskier on my blog too you can find some Tumblr only fics that I’ve reblogged. Those are also extremely good. I should probably start tagging with #geraskier fic or something to consolidate them lol. Anyways, big thank you to the Geraskier Fandom for some amazing  fics. 

[demisexualgeralt]

I’m late, but this is for Day 1 of @geraltwhumpweek: Ostracization. Enjoy!

--

Generally speaking, for every contract Geralt took where he was paid fairly, there were three where he ended up with half the asking price, if he was lucky. That was the way of his trade. While poor townsfolk tended to give him his price up front, albeit without looking him in the eye, pricier contracts came with a greater risk of being swindled. 

Things had improved mildly since bringing Jaskier along. He could use his incessant chatter for good, it seemed, and more often than not they found themselves with a roof over their heads. They’d been traveling together for about a month and a half before Jaskier witnessed a contract go bad.

He arrived back at the inn after a particularly irksome fight with a noonwraith. He hadn’t expected it to be much of a scuffle, but she proved to be more full of rage than he anticipated. Now, all he wanted was a bath and a few moment’s peace. He collected his pay from the alderman (the full amount for once), and headed back to the inn. Before long, he heard the familiar din of Jaskier’s voice. He had to admit, inspiration had done well for Jaskier and he received far more coin than rotten fruit these days. Geralt allowed a small smile to grace his lips before schooling himself back into neutrality. After all, he couldn’t let the bard know that he was getting used to his presence. It would surely make him insufferable. 

Upon entering, Jaskier lifted his lute in acknowledgement and watched as Geralt settled in his usual spot in the back of the room, away from other patrons. He would wait for Jaskier to finish his set and then they could see how much coin they had to pool together for a room. Sharing was efficient and it wasn’t as though either of them were shy by nature. 

Apparently eager for details, Jaskier retired for the night after one last song and ambled over to Geralt. “All well?”

“Mmm,” Geralt agreed. “Well as it can be.”

“Yes, yes, noonwraiths tend to be tragic tales. Still, some good clearly came out of it.”

Geralt gave him a sharp look in return. A death was a death. He didn’t enjoy cutting down creatures, especially ones that had once been human. The idea of Jaskier turning those tales into a song, especially for Geralt’s benefit, made him squirm. 

Jaskier held his hand out, placing it over Geralt’s. “I only meant that they’re at peace. You needn’t glower so. How bad was it?”

“It was fine. Caught me off guard at first but I managed to strike from the side.”

“Noonwraiths are...how do you kill them again?”

“Specter oil on the sword.”

“Ah.” He pulled out his notebook and scribbled that down, tongue sticking out slightly as it did when he concentrated. How Jaskier could read the chicken scratch he called handwriting was beyond him, but that was his problem. “And specter oil is made of…”

Geralt allowed his string of questions. It was easy enough and to be honest, it was nice to share some of the things he knew with someone who cared. Jaskier was easily pleased, despite his dramatic nature, and it was calming to recite something memorized long ago, so that he didn’t have to concentrate on the confusing nature of conversation after expending his energy. 

Eventually, Jaskier closed his book. “That’s enough for now. I’ll get the rest of the details once you’re rested. I’ve put down my half for the room.”

Geralt nodded and stood, ready to carry his half to the innkeep and settle in for the night. When they reached him though, the man shifted, as if steeling himself from something. “I’m sorry. The room’s been rented.”

Jaskier cut in easily, as he had so many times. “Yes, that was me. I told you I would bring the other half once my companion returned.”

“Yes, well…” the man coughed. “I didn’t know your companion was…”

Geralt hmmed. He knew this would happen eventually. Frankly, he couldn’t believe he’d allowed himself to be spoiled so by the benefits of traveling with the bard. He had been looking forward to a bed, but in his experience, fighting for the privilege was not worth the risk of rocks at his back and a crowd at his heels.

Jaskier however, scoffed. “The man who saved your town? I would think we would get a discount, not a cowardly excuse to use someone and send them on their way!”

“Jaskier,” he said lowly. “Leave it.”

Jaskier’s cheeks tinged pink with anger. “I will not! This is ridiculous. As long as a man gives you coin, what does it matter who sleeps in the bed if you’ve got it?”

“People won’t pay full price if they know a witcher used the room last.”

Geralt caught Jaskier’s arm before he could raise more of a ruckus than he already was. “Jaskier.”

Jaskier managed to swallow his rage and held his hand out. “My coin, sir?”

The innkeep returned Jaskier’s share and had the decency to look abashed. Without another word, Jaskier fled from the inn, Geralt following behind.

“Unbelievable,” Jaskier muttered. “What utter bollocks.”

“It’s fine Jaskier.”

Jaskier whirled on him. “It isn’t fine! He treated you like-like you weren’t-”

“Human?” 

Jaskier pursed his lips. 

Geralt sighed. He forgot that this was new to Jaskier. “It’s not the first time. It won’t be the last. I’m content to sleep elsewhere.”

Jaskier nodded, apparently too angry to speak anymore. Geralt led them out of town a bit, until they found a clearing level enough to set up camp. At least they had already eaten, so he wouldn’t have to expend more energy hunting. He felt ready to collapse, but shook off the latent weakness. He was getting soft from all these inns anyway.

Pulling his bedroll closer to the fire, he intended to sleep quickly, but Jaskier’s voice intruded on his silence. 

“That happens often?”

“Depends.”

“On?” 

“Nothing. Some people just don’t want witchers around.”

“And that doesn’t bother you?”

“Why would it?” If he were human, he’s sure he wouldn’t relish the idea of a monster under his roof either. It was a simple fact of his existence.

“You deserve a bed. A roof. Honestly, Geralt, it’s like you don’t-”

“Don’t care? I’m not human, Jaskier. The things that bother you don’t affect me.”

A mirthless laugh erupted from Jaskier. “That’s bullshit and you know it.”

Geralt grunted. Jaskier would get used to this eventually. Realize that traveling with him was hardly the glamorous life he expected. He spent more often than not cold and hungry and bleeding. Expecting anything else only led to disappointment. And what would a creature like him do with a roof and a warm bed? Someone to share it with? People spoke of his grim smile, his haunting visage, his deathly complexion. A thing like him could only be a cold facsimile of a human.

“If I let every time I was thrown out of an inn bother me, I wouldn’t have lasted long on my own.”

“Oh, Geralt.” He heard Jaskier inching closer and tensed a bit. “You’re not alone.” He reached a hand out and Geralt flinched instinctively before he could stop it.

Jaskier pulled back and he could feel the silence between them. Geralt searched for the words to say, but came up empty. He wondered, as he often did, if being a witcher made speaking to others so hard, or if it was some broken, bitter thing deep within him. If he had always been this insufferable to be around.

“I’m sorry for startling you,” Jaskier started and Geralt almost laughed.

“You can’t startle me.”

“Then…did you think I would hurt you?”

“No. Can’t do that either.”

“Then...what?”

Geralt hummed. “I...it’s been a long time.”

“Since someone’s touched you?”

Geralt felt the wave of humiliation wash over him, angry at his reaction. Was Jaskier really going to make him explain? How every human who knew what was good for them cowered at this touch, shuddered at the thought of his skin near theirs?

“It’s not as though I have much to offer.”

He heard Jaskier mutter and the shuffling of his bedroll moving closer. “Jaskier, you don’t have to-”

“I want to. May I have the privilege of sleeping by you? It’s cold.”

“Jaskier, I-”

“Please?”

Geralt nodded hesitantly. He felt a hand on his shoulder, somewhat familiar, before Jaskier laid his head on the place by the nape of his neck. His arms bracketed Geralt’s. It felt nice, not like a cage but...secure. 

“This okay?”

“Mmm.” Geralt nodded, already feeling himself drifting a bit. 

He thought he heard, “Goodnight, my wolf”, but it could have been a trick of the forest.

[geraltrogerericduhautebellegarde]

Misery and Happiness Ch. 8 (Final Chapter)

Ch 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

Summary: Word of an injured, possibly dead witcher has reached Jaskier in his travels and as much as he would like to walk away, he knows he can't.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The walk back to the inn from the cliffside was somber, neither the witcher nor the bard willing to break the comfortable silence. Jaskier couldn’t help but think about what the sunlight would bring, now that the two would be travelling together again. They would need to make sure and stock up Geralt’s potions and get everything packed and Jaskier really needed a new pair of boots.

Hopefully Geralt wouldn’t kick up too much of a fuss about them staying at least one more day, he was still weak, after all.

As the two neared the inn it occurred to Jaskier that Geralt had never told him what it was that pleased him. Or if he had even figured it out. The bard’s throat suddenly felt dry and tight. He wanted to bring it up again, to ask Geralt, but what if he didn’t like the answer?

Jaskier had asked Geralt to let him once again be his travel companion, told the witcher that he wanted nothing more. What if Geralt’s answer was… not along the same lines. Would Jaskier be able to listen to the witcher longing for his loss of Yennefer? Or really anything that didn’t involve Jaskier in his life.

Geralt had missed Jaskier, had said so himself, and he had apologized for the mountain, although he needn’t have as far as the bard was concerned.

But what did those things mean in the grand scheme of things? Geralt was a witcher, tied to a sorceress and a princess through destiny, and Jaskier was his barker. And friend. And the man that followed the witcher without questions because he was helplessly in love with him.

Jaskier wouldn’t leave Geralt, not again, but the idea that Geralt would never hold Jaskier in the same regard wasn’t pleasant by any means.

Jaskier’s musings stayed with him until they reached their room.

The two wordlessly got ready for bed and it wasn’t until the candles had been put out and the two had laid in their respective beds that Jaskier finally found the courage to ask the witcher.

“Geralt,” the bard started hesitantly, “you never said if you decided what pleases you or not, did you?”

Jaskier heard Geralt shift in his bed before letting out a soft huff.

“I won’t bother you about it if you don’t want, Geralt, but I did lay my feelings out there for you to hear and I thought I might ask at least once more. Truly, I don’t want to push you I just thought that maybe -”

“Jaskier,” Geralt cut Jaskier off roughly, “I will tell you, but I am tired, and I think it best if we wait until later in the day.”

“Okay… good night, Geralt.”

“Good night.”

Jaskier was tense, waiting for the bad news Geralt would inevitably lay at his feet. The two had been out shopping for supplies for their upcoming travels all day but had finally retired back to their room, Geralt wanting to start getting all his potion supplies prepared and organized before dinner.

Geralt hadn’t made mention of their short conversation from the night before and the possibilities were killing Jaskier.

“Are you about ready to head down for dinner, Geralt?” Jaskier finally asked, breaking the silence.

“Hmm… I think I’ll take it up here. I’ve still got a lot to do if we’re to leave tomorrow.”

“Oh. Well, I could run down and get us something.” The bard offered. Geralt met Jaskier’s eyes and nodded his assent to the idea.

-

Geralt wasn’t sure how to answer Jaskier’s question.

He didn’t know how to explain what he was feeling because he didn’t even really know what he was feeling. He didn’t quite understand the extent of his feelings for the bard, but he did want Jaskier to travel with him again. The witcher honestly couldn’t think of anything that would please him more.

Clearly the bard wanted to travel with him so it shouldn’t be a problem, admitting that is what he thought would please him. But it brought his feelings too close to the surface, and just because the bard wanted to travel with Geralt didn’t mean he wanted Geralt to feel… whatever it is he’s feeling toward the bard.

-

After the pair had eaten and Jaskier had about worked himself into a fit of nerves, the bard decided to do what he did best, sing and write and play his lute. Annoyingly.

He sort of felt like it was self-sabotage, doing one of the things that he knew annoyed Geralt the most so soon after their reconciliation, but the bard felt it would be better to get it over with. Perhaps Jaskier could annoy the witcher into admitting how much he missed Yennefer, or whatever other awful not Jaskier related thing that pleased the witcher.

Jaskier was halfway through a raucous shanty he had been working on when he felt Geralt’s eyes on him. When the bard looked over, he was shocked to see, not disdain or annoyance on the witcher’s face, but a small smile. Almost as if the witcher was enjoying himself.

Well, that couldn’t be right, “So sorry, Geralt. Is my filling-less pie disturbing your peace?” The bard asked.

The smile fell from Geralt’s lips, “You know I never meant any of that, right?” The witcher asked softly, unable to look at the bard any longer.

Of course, Jaskier had always suspected that Geralt enjoyed his singing, or at least his playing, to some degree, but the witcher had never said so. In fact, Geralt had made it a point to say the exact opposite. Loudly. And often.

“Yes, Geralt. I know that now. Thank you for telling me, though.” Jaskier finally replied, feeling guilty he was the reason the small smile was no longer on Geralt’s face. Particularly when it seemed he had been the reason for the smile in the first place.

Geralt nodded at Jaskier, still not looking at the bard. The two continued on quietly, Jaskier strumming his lute and Geralt preparing his potion ingredients, before finally the two retired to bed wordlessly.

-

Jaskier woke earlier than usual, even earlier than Geralt, so the bard made his was downstairs, grabbing a bit of breakfast and headed to the cobbler to see if his new boots were ready.

Walking back to the inn, carrying his new boots, Jaskier felt excited, ready to get back on the road. He also felt dread, though. Geralt hadn’t brought up their conversation yesterday despite his promise to do so and Jaskier couldn’t think of a good reason why he wouldn’t. The witcher wasn’t known for his words, no, but he didn’t often say he would do something and then just… not do it.

When Jaskier walked into their shared room at the inn, Geralt was up and packing. “Morning, Geralt! Are we about ready to leave?”

“Hmmm.”

“Ahh, yes, good. Well, I’ve my new boots so I’ll get them on and be ready. I’ve eaten already, did you? I can grab something from downstairs if you need.” Jaskier babbled, sitting on the edge of his bed to lace up his new boots.

“I ate.”

“Alright then. Sounds like we’re ready to depart.” Jaskier said, smiling at Geralt.

Geralt gave a small nod and headed downstairs, Jaskier on his heels.

In the stables Geralt got Roach’s tack ready and saddled her up while Jaskier fed roach carrots and rambled on about which way the would be going and the various news he had heard while the two had been separated, it seemed Nilfgaard was marching north.

“Stop spoiling my horse,” Geralt finally grunted before leading Roach from the stable.

“I was doing no such thing! It’s not spoiling if she deserves those carrots and I can assure you she does!” Jaskier protested dramatically, following the witcher.

As the two approached the edge of the village, Geralt pulled Roach to a stop, turning to look at Jaskier.

“Before we leave, I need to tell you something. I… do think I know what pleases me. Where I can find… happiness.” Geralt said, staring at Jaskier.

Jaskier was taken aback, he truly had begun to think that the witcher would never broach the topic again. The bard made an encouraging noise, moving to stand in front of the witcher, nodding to get the witcher to continue.

“I found my happiness somewhere unexpected.” Geralt finally said, turning to look at the road leading them out of town.

Jaskier looked at the witcher, unsure of where he was going with his statement. “Where?” he asked finally, when it seemed the witcher wouldn’t elaborate.

Geralt froze before finally whispering, “With you,” and turning to face the bard.

Jaskier’s breath caught in his throat as he met the witcher’s eye. Smiling, Jaskier grabbed Geralt by the neck, pulling the man in for a kiss.

This would be his best song yet.

[bambirex]

2023 writing roundup

I was tagged by @dancingwiththefae, thank you! ❤️

I've written 24 fics this year, mostly Witcher and a few others (I'm not including the request compilations from tumblr)

Had to put some of it under the cut because I have long ass summaries lol

January

The Day Has Come Where I Have Died (Only To Find I've Come Alive) (geraskier, M, 2,785 words)

A familiar place forces Jaskier to relive the most horrifying experience of his life.

February

Me And Mr. Wolf (geraskier, E, 3,861 words)

Geralt looked at him differently, with an emotion in his amber eyes that Jaskier couldn’t quite decipher, but it looked like hunger. And Jaskier tried to signal to him that it was okay to act upon his desires (if they existed at all, of course), but all his attempts were futile. The tension, the lingering glances and touches remained, and Jaskier felt like tearing his own hair out every day.

(...)

All his frustrations oozed onto the piece of paper before him. That was the only way to truly let it all out, by making up an unabashedly horny song using his typical metaphors. It wasn’t as if anyone would ever hear it; this wasn’t the kind of song Jaskier would have ever played in front of a crowd. That was just for him, only he would know who the big bad wolf and the needy bunny of the lyrics were.

Well, Geralt would probably know, too, what with him living his life with the “white wolf” title plastered to him, and the fact he once fondly said that if Jaskier would be an animal, he would definitely be an over-energetic rabbit.

Lucky that Geralt would never find that song.

We Match (geraskier, G, 1,121 words)

Geralt and Jaskier compare their stripes.

March

Butterfly Lounge (geraskier, T, 1495 words)

Geralt has missed out on so much.

The Wonderful In You (trissefer, T, 4,080 words)

Five times Triss told Yennefer she loved her without outright saying it, and the one time Yennefer said it for real.

The River's Just A River (one-sided geraskier, T, 1817 words)

Jaskier needs to tell Geralt something important in order to move on with his life, even though he knows he cannot expect anything in return.

June

Tell It With Your Heart (geraskier, T, 2,504 words)

While Jaskier always says what's on his mind, Geralt works a little differently. That doesn't mean he cannot tell Jaskier how he feels - he just does that without words.

July

Sunshine For The Sunshine (geraskier, yennskier, radskier, Jaskier & Kaer Morhen wolves, Jaskier & Ciri, G, multichap, 2,127 words)

Jaskier being loved, spoiled and taken care of by everyone the way he deserves.

This Evil Romance (So Good I Never Wanna Waste It) (yennskier, E, 4,678 words)

"See something you like, little bird?"

On one hand, definitely. This woman was so incredibly hot, if Jaskier wasn't literally tied into a knot, she would have fallen on her knees to worship her.

On the other hand, judging by her unnaturally perfect looks, the dark lace and the ominous necklace - not to mention the fact she was smirking over a kidnapped girl - she was most definitely a witch. And that was not very good.

--

Jaskier wakes up tied up and disoriented in the company of a very sexy, but probably insane witch, and her first thought, of course, is that she is going to be sacrificed- but the witch has other plans. Really exciting ones.

August

The Heavy Burden That You Can't Bear (past radskier, Radovid/OMC, E, 2,212 words)

He grabbed the oil from the table and coated his fingers with it, cursing the way they shook. The mighty, unapologetic King of Redania. Radovid the Stern. The tyrant. Broken to the point he started breaking everything and everyone around him, punishing the world because punishing himself wasn’t enough anymore. The charming, witty player of a Prince long gone. Now he was just a lonely, angry King who has aged decades in a few years. More pathetic than ever.

The servant gasped as Radovid shoved two fingers inside him without warning. He squirmed as the king prepared him without any finesse, stretching him out quick. He probably didn’t even open him enough before he slicked himself and started pushing inside, if the way his breath hitched in a way that sounded more pained than pleasured was anything to go by.

Radovid grabbed the man’s hips as he buried himself inside. He closed his eyes, letting the warmth of the body before him engulf him. Tight and warm, silky heat. A quiet moan. Radovid let it all take him back to the memories that haunted his every waking moment.

Takes One To Know One (Breaking Bad, JesseJane, T, 1,117 words)

Jesse needs to tell Jane something important. Jane has some interesting info for him, too.

Good Enough To Eat (geraskier, E, 2,375 words)

“It’s true what they say about wolves,” Jaskier started, his voice much lower than usual- sensual and needy. He only talked like this when he wanted to play their game. Not even just regular sex, but the kind that they have discovered months prior due to a ridiculous, horny song found by accident. A sinful performance they put on for each other.

“That they like to take care of their pack. The big alpha would provide for his family, making sure they’re well-fed…”

Jaskier took one of Geralt’s hands and led it under the blanket and over his stomach. Geralt couldn’t suppress a moan when he felt his fingers dig into soft flesh, yielding like dough beneath his hand.

“Is this what it’s about, huh?” Jaskier huffed out a laugh, his breath hot and moist against the skin of Geralt’s neck. “The wolf wants to feed up the bunny so he would be happy and healthy?”

September

Keep My Heart In Your Gold (geraskier, T, 2,579 words)

Geralt always carries a brooch around with him. Jaskier wants to know why.

A Lesson In Patience (geraskier, E, 1,939 words)

“Fuck me,” he moaned against Geralt’s neck. He pushed his body against Geralt’s, rubbing his hard cock against his groin. “Now.”

Geralt smirked against Jaskier’s skin. He gave his ass a curt spank, making Jaskier let out a delighted gasp.

“Get on the bed, then,” Geralt told him. Jaskier nearly tripped over his own feet in his haste. He threw himself on the bed, opening his legs with a sultry look. Geralt stood at the foot of the bed, raking his eyes over Jaskier’s body, practically already writhing with need.

“What are you waiting for?” He drawled. “Don’t just stand there!”

Geralt retrieved the bottle of oil from the desk, keeping his eyes on Jaskier all the while. Jaskier pouted and huffed, then reached between his legs and started stroking his cock, unable to go without a bit of pleasure for a few moments. Oh, it will be delicious to break him in and show him it was worth waiting, Geralt thought with a smirk.

October

I Get So Hungry (When You Say You Love Me) (Jaskier/Geralt/Radovid, E, 3,439 words)

"What kind of animal would I be," Radovid drawled, the words leaving his mouth before he could stop himself. Jaskier sent him a strange look.

"Pardon?"

"In this game of yours," Radovid clarified. He tightened his grasp around Jaskier's hips. "What am I?"

Jaskier tilted his head to the side as he inspected his face. His eyes darkened, his tongue poking out to wet his lips.

"A fox," Jaskier concluded. Radovid hummed.

"Elaborate on that."

"Smart, cunning," Jaskier explained, teasing a finger down the side of Radovid's neck. "Crafty. Seemingly a harmless puppy, but you bite hard. Not afraid of a challenge. Leaner and not as tough as a wolf - but still very strong. And you have these sharp features and that reddish tint to your hair, so... a fox. Definitely."

Well, Radovid could make do with that information. It planted a new image in his head - one where that sweet, eager bunny was hunted by not one, but two apex predators at once...

It was as if Jaskier read his mind because he leant in really close to his ear and whispered "why? Would you like to join us?"

Te Engemet, Én Tégedet (Queen, Jimercury, G, 3,846 words)

Freddie suddenly sat up, excitement twinkling in his eyes. “Okay, so I did some research. They have a folk song, it’s really pretty. And I want to sing it for them on Sunday.”

Jim was sure his eyes were practically bulging out of his head, and that just made Freddie giggle again. “In Hungarian?” Jim checked, and Freddie nodded, his cheeks growing flushed with excitement.

“I want to blow their minds, okay? I want them to remember this forever.”

November

Chubskier Drabbles (geraskefer, geraskier, yennskier, radskier, Jaskier & Kaer Morhen wolves, Jaskier/Valdo, Jaskier/Vespula, Jaskier/original characters, Jaskier & Yarpen, E, multichapter WIP, currently 14,763 words)

Just a collection of short stories revoling around chubby Jaskier.

December

New Depths (geraskefer, E, 3,375 words)

Jaskier asks Yennefer to perform a strange spell on him. No one's ready for how much he actually enjoys the results.

Carve It Out (Killing Eve, villaneve, M, 1,413 words)

Eve brings her issues with her to the bedroom. Villanelle knocks some sense into her.

The World Is Yours, If You Seek The Good (geraskefer, M, multichapter WIP, currently 55,807 words)

Used and abused by humans, Jaskier and Yennefer believe they are alone and with no reason to trust anybody. That is, until they meet each other - and then, a couple of other strange misfits.

Maybe Loving Is Sharing (geraskefer, M, multichap, 24,108 words)

The plan is simple: help your best friend get together with the girl of her dreams. What could go wrong?

Well, when everyone is confused and pining but also very oblivious, pretty much everything.

It's A Game We Play (geraskier, yennskier, radskier, T, multichapter WIP, currently 40, 586 words)

Jaskier's daughter is about to marry the love of her life, and she decides she wants both her parents at her wedding. Only problem is that Jaskier has slept with a little too many people in his youth, so the identity of the other parent is a mystery. That does not stop the bride-to-be from inviting three potential daddy candidates and unleashing absolute chaos in the process.

*

Otherwise known as Jaskier's terrible horrible no good past decisions leading to terrible horrible no good outcomes. Also known as the Mamma Mia! AU nobody asked for, but I wrote it anyway.

Those Blue Memories Start Calling (Rush, Launt, T, 1,849 words)

James visits Niki before Christmas.

Every Night He'd Tuck Him Tight (But Never Left The Room) (radskier, geraskier, E, multichapter WIP, currently 6,472 words)

Jaskier finds himself back with Radovid against his will- while he still has strong feelings for him, he finds it hard to trust him again. What's even worse is that the guilt and pain has turned Radovid into a completely different person. A person who's desperate to keep the only good thing in his life, which is Jaskier, himself. Jaskier doesn't want to change his mind about putting his family first, so Radovid needs to find a way to make sure he will be the only one for the bard.

What follows is Radovid's even deeper descend into madness, and Jaskier's forced transformation into the perfect, pliant lover who won't need anybody else.

Tagging @wren-of-the-woods, @sokkas-first-fangirl, @carrottheluvmachine and whoever else wants to do this!

[gayregis]

if you've read season of storms is it any good? i read a sample and was kind of bored but i don't want to spend money on it if it's going to be like,,,,,,,,,lady of the lake

reading this i was like “wait lady of the lake was good though,” then i paused to actually think about it as a cohesive narrative for a bit, and went “actually wait never mind :/...” it was good thematically, and there were a lot of great scenes, but like as a whole book... if you could only read that book on its own... it would be very long and confusing. i just think lotl’s good because i do the uncivilized thing of skipping around to the parts i like and then i don’t read the parts i dislike

but luckily i have already ranted about season of storms before, and i’ll post that rant here now. for context, i actually read season of storms from cover to cover... yeah.

overall, it's a disorganized and aimless plot. it's set inbetween tlw and sod, so there's no quest to find ciri, because geralt hasnt met ciri yet, he's still our free bachelor geralt. which means hes still quite directionless and when it comes to his personal life it's mostly preoccupied with romance. but more importantly it means the plot is incredibly aimless and NOT PERSONAL to geralt, like all the stories in TLW and SOD and all the saga books revolve around events and people super meaningful to him. what happens in the plot is a whole JUMBLE of things that feel like sidequests from the witcher games, not a story from the witcher books. nothing really means anything for geralt's character development, and it suffers from being so long because there's like a lot of different settings and characters and everything just seems completely thrown together, mashed up, and not coordinated. 

i will admit that baptism of fire & tower of the swallow followed a style of “random encounters” in which geralt and the company traverse on and just interact with whatever they happen to find, but it felt like they were accruing knowledge (and also. members of the company) as they travelled on. in season of storms, it feels like geralt starts over and the entire book resets itself every time there is a new scene. none of the plotlines fit together, so it is just a super confusing and exhausting reading experience, unlike in bof & tos, where you can follow the action quite easily and it’s very pleasant to read because it’s all one continuous storyline.

in addition, all of these mashed up stories are pointless, because they dont END with the reader learning anything about the universe the characters live in or their relationships with each other. we might learn that sorcerers are power-hungry, but we already knew that. we might learn that people are violent and corrupt, but we already knew that. we might learn that geralt loves yennefer, but we already knew that. in the short stories, you learn so much about the world and geralts relationships (for example: we learn so much about the situations surrounding the elves in edge of the world, so it’s worth reading because otherwise you will not understand anything when the scoia’tael show up in blood of elves and later in the saga). and in the saga, this continues and more worldbuilding/relationship building occurs (geralt and ciri’s relationship grows from a question of price and then becomes crazy right around baptism of fire when they’re super linked by destiny). it really doesnt in season of storms. you don’t learn anything meaningful about the world or the characters like in the other witcher books.

another large flaw is that in the stories and saga, sapkowski was really good at creating likeable, enigmatic characters no matter how few pages he had to create them. they were deep and almost lifelike and also usually told a larger message. the NPCs- sorry, "characters" in season of storms are SUPER flat and uninteresting.

coral is h*rny for geralt and jealous of yennefer, like every sorceress ever to exist, pratt is a dick and corrupt, degerlund is corrupt and evil, mosaik is timid, the werewolf guy is JUST THERE, the auguara isn’t super interesting despite being cool, nimue feels flatter as a character than usual, even dandelion- okay actually jk i liked dandelion he was the sunny part of this book AS ALWAYS ... ofc he felt one-dimensional but he usually does so you know, EVEN GERALT feels a little one-dimensional and not his typical introspective self

one of the worst things sapkowski did was [SPOILERS] make the major villain character of the book gay and feminine... like its mentioned SO many times that "ohhhh this is a man that looks like a woman WOW HOW EVIL!" and he literally does the worst things like rip ppl to shreds and want to kill geralt painfully by torture with syringes, also he uses his sexuality to ?? seduce an older sorcerer to be his favorite so he can keep his job as a sorcerer?? 

and OK vilgefortz and bonhart arent complex villains. but theyre despicable and it feels a little deeper bc vilgefortz has that backstory and hunger for power, and bonhart is just terrifying and the embodiment of wretched evil, this guy from season of storms is just annoying and anime villainy like “OOHOHOH watch how i kill you now >:)” also theres a lot of crass humor like fart jokes and villains that are described as really super ugly like omg wow never saw that one coming!!! it just feels super bland and basic and almost like the antithesis of The Witcher as short stories and a saga, super out of place with the rest of the series. [END SPOILERS]

in my opinion, the BIGGEST FLAW with season of storms is that since the plot is so all over the place, and since the characters are so flimsy, the entire book feels meaningless. it feels like it would appease games or netflix fans who just want to read about geralt going on some crazy adventures, and it does serve that purpose, but it is NOT a “book belonging to the witcher series.” it has no depth where there should be... i do not feel like sapkowski is trying to tell me something as a reader about human nature, or the nature of parent-child relationships, or society, or violence and war... 

it just feels like geralt is doing all of this shit just because sapkowski had some remaining ideas and wanted to get all of them out into the world all in the same book, like sewing a vest out of fabric scraps. it was not refined like the witcher saga, because none of them were really meant to fit together anyways, and because they weren’t meant to fit together, there is a distinct lack of message and substance to it.

TLDR: no cohesive narrative and a confusing plot, no deeper underlying message or arguments about humanity or society or nature being made by the author, cheap new side & background characters, no ciri and no yennefer so geralt is quite directionless and stupid

other remarks that are just my personal preferences and comments:

geralt & dandelion:

geralt mostly works alone in this book... which is... not my favorite. this is why i got bored with tw3 after i read the witcher books, because i can’t stand geralt being alone, the world feels so... lonely! although he meets up with dandelion and has an affair with coral in season of storms, most of the book is him waffling about with side and background characters that i couldn’t care less about because sapkowski put no effort into developing them to be enigmatic or at least lifelike and likable (unlike some really minor characters in the witcher saga that, although they were so minor, were incredibly likable: for example, applegatt and toruviel i quite like). 

of course, i also have a preference for when geralt hangs out with dandelion, because it usually creates more of a lighter tone for the scenes and a more humorous nature overall, plus geralt changes his personality to be not in such a bad mood and we get to see him being kind and friendly. so it annoys me that although dandelion has some scenes with geralt, they never really have deep conversations like they do in a little sacrifice, or witty remarks & banter like in the edge of the world... i feel like dandelion was quite in-character for the whole book, which is good, but also, he’s dandelion so he’s pretty easy to get in character. he’s just easy-going, arrogant, preoccupied with earthly delights, cowardly, and friendly to geralt. but it annoyed me that their scenes together were both not very deep, and that they didn’t get as much interaction as i think they deserved. usually in a witcher book or story in which geralt and dandelion have met, they stay by each other’s side for like, the whole book or story, lmao... 

that being said, they do have some fun moments in this book and dandelion has some funny lines which i quite enjoy. like. they are eating at an inn, and the innkeeper asks them “how are you finding the pork?” and dandelion replies, “we’re finding it among the kasha. from time to time. not as often as we’d like to.” and somehow i just find that line so fucking funny... i think it’s just because it’s really relatable

sorcery:

coral is SOOOOO one-dimensional, she really is just like the same character as fringilla vigo or some other sorceress that’s jealous of yennefer for getting to bang geralt, and this lack of characterization is super transparent. people laugh about how many affairs geralt has had, but they never discuss how all of them have been super uneasy and unfulfilling.

already said that i hate degerlund as a character and all of the sorcerers being morally wack is predictable if you’ve read like, anything from the saga about the sorcerer/esses. also geralt talking with sorcerers is like, interesting if the sorcerer in question is vilgefortz, but everyone else is just super boring

other:

i didn’t really like ferrant de lettenhove until the very end of the book (which i won’t spoil) but because of this end, i wished that he got more backstory/development

NIMUE I LOVE YOU and it was nice that nimue got some more backstory in this.

i do enjoy the end of the book. not to say “my favorite part is when it ended,” but it’s true, because the ending in kerack is interesting and full of drama, the moments in the inn are alright if a little void of substance, the ending with geralt and dandelion on horseback is beautiful, and the epilogue with nimue is wistful and beautiful as well.

sheer pettiness:

oh my GOD why are the CHAPTERS so SHORT? it’s like, 20 chapters plus a bunch of interludes and an epilogue, and the book is only 357 pages long. it feels like as soon as i was getting into a scene, it switched to another chapter. i mean, idk whether i prefer this, or the haphhazard long as fuck chapters from baptism of fire where i’m not quite sure when a chapter begins or ends because i memorized the scenes and not when a chapter occurs. 

i dislike how coral is on the cover of it, even though it’s fitting, because if there was a work about... oh idk... the hansa... then angouleme could have been on the cover... and then i could have had geralt + yennefer + ciri + dandelion + the hansa on the covers... like wow that would be cool...

this book would have functioned much better as a series of short stories... i think sapkowski has talent for the short story medium, but novel-length books are more desirable by publishers, but this is literally just a guess, i don’t have anything to back this up

my recommendation: don’t buy it if you are just looking to read the witcher books as in, get a feel for the book canon world and characters. it’s pretty unnecessary for that. do buy it if you are a completionist like me / the witcher is something you’ve been into for years and you’re about to buy all the books as a set and it would feel weird to not have all eight books on your shelf and it’s only like $5 more to buy the set of 8 as compared to the set of 7. don’t read it and expect perfection, it’s basically like “drabbles” but canon from the author. there are like 2 or 3 nice gerlion moments if you care about that.

[voidselfshipp]

The Witcher And The Baker

(Ok to rb! This is the first time I write a geralt fic that I actually like! So please rb with nice words!,even if you dont know the Netflix series or the games!go off!)

《~♡~♡~♡~♡》

"There's an inn down the road"they said to geralt.

Its not an inn, Its a damn lodging house instead of an inn!the thing was huge!.

--In what can I help you--said the inn Keeper, a young woman with white dragon horns and a sunflower apron said.

--Ill be staying here for a while--geralt answered in his short and dry tone--How much Is it going to be?.

--well,since youre going to become a regular then I guess I should Lower the price,how About 20 gold coins--the inn keepers voice was sweet and soft spoken, and it made the witchers cheeks burn Pink.

--O oh okay--he said, clearing his throat--wheres my room?

The Man sets the coins down and the woman grabs it, putting in a chest under the counter and then walking to the Man.

--Follow me, over here

She kept her soft tone, and they walked down a corridor.

Geralt was baffled,no inn keeper had treated Him like that, softly and kindly as she did.

then they turned the corner and the second room they stop.

--Here it is,it has a bathroom and its own kitchen but if by any chance you cant Cook please tell me and ill do it for you

--Please,you have already been too kind-- the witchers dry tone seemed softer as well as his expression.

--Have I?--she giggles, smiling--please, go and rest, enjoy your stay...

--Thank you-- he nodds and enters the room, sighing as his body relaxes.

He leaves the weapons on the table,and takes off the heavy armor, laying on the bed, its comfortable and the matress ,it sinks under his weight.

How on earth did she even get matresses that comfortable?and charge so low for it?.

Then he freezes as he hears a soft lullaby being sang.

His dorm happened to be just behind the kitchen, the smell of baked goods started to make him feel sleepy.

When was the last time he had slept well?, when was the last time he slept?.

He cant really think of an answer, the inn keepers soft voice was luring him to sleep.

The place was just the right ammount of warm, the matress was made by the gods, and the covers of fur werent itchy, was geralt on the heaven itself?.

He flips on his side covering his body with the blanket,it had been a long day of witcher fuckery, and it was only noon.

His body was asking him to sleep.

And so heavy eyelids Turned into closed eyes.

And then he fell asleep.

Its late afternoon, geralt wakes up with a soft knock on his door.

--Sir?--The inn keepers voice asked-- I have some snacks and tea ready, come by if you want some, free of charge!

The Man grunts in response, he sits on the bed and stretches his neck, hearing the womans steps Fade away.

He sighs and goes into the shower, warm water too? What was up with this place.

Now, after a quick shower, he Walked back to the counter, there were some tables and some other people there staying.

He sat alone right at the table for two besides the Window.

He looks outside, its raining..

Good thing he left roach with the stable boy.

--Hmm there you are!--The inn keeper said putting down a tray of baked goods and tea on the table--May I sit?

Geralt couldnt help but smile,and nodded--of course...

She sits Infront of him,brushing a strand of chocolate brown hair behind her ear.

--I suppose since youre going to stay for a while we might as well get to know eachother, im jerico, jerico von terra

--Geralt--the Man said, shaking jericos hand.

--Well geralt, shall we?

He particularly didnt drink tea or was concerned on eating pastries or sweet things at all, but this time hed figured he would give himself a treat.

--i dont like to talk much--he said after drinking a bit of his tea.

--Its alright--she said--we can Keep silent if you want

His smile grew, nodding again.

And so they ate silently.

And well, poor geralt couldnt help but look at her, jerico had big green eyes like emeralds, soft cherry lips, and a beautiful porcelain skin.

He wanted to sigh in love.

The kindness was too much for him, maybe because he isnt used to it,maybe because it was New.

Whatever it was, he was starting to grow fond of it.

And sure,he had some questions about her, dragonborns werent well liked, but the people in town seemed to be very fond of the inn keeper.

--Dont look too much or youll pluck your eyes out

Jeri said giggling.

The Mans cheeks burn red.

--I didnt mean to stare...

--Dont worry about it

After 'tea time' geralt went back to his room.

He was internally hitting his head against the wall.

What was up with him?he asked himself.

He only hoped it wouldnt Keep him up all night.

And so days Turned to weeks, and weeks in months.

--So, mighty witcher-- jerico said, trying to annoy geralt as he helped around in the kitchen.

--Dont test me jerico....

--oh but I want to know, how was todays hunt?

The Man looks over to her with a brow raised--are you trying to bake me something again using your "cake scale"?

--no.......

It had become a habit for jerico to bake stuff for him.

The "cake scale" was measured in,the harder the hunt,the bigger the cake would be.

--Jerico I still have some cake from last weeks hunt you dont need to

--But geralt! I want to!--jer said,pouting Like a kid.

--Fine, it was alright-- she always gets him with those puppy dog eyes-- not to hard, but I did hit my back against a rock pretty badly

--then thats a medium cake,chocolate with lemon drizzle then?

He smirks,she knew him too well--vanilla, actually

--Okay then witcher go rest!

--Jerico--

--geralt--

The Man grunts and corners the woman against the kitchens counter one of his hands cups her cheek and the other cages her.

His eyes were pitch black, his skin dead pale.

Hea afraid he scared her,until with red cheeks she wiggled her brows and giggled.

--i didnt knew this side of you geralt, Pretty cool~

he groans letting her free-- is everything a joke to you?

--Maybe yes maybe not, go and rest come on

The Man sighs, its useless to argue with her.

He says a soft goodbye,and back in his room he sats there on his bed.

He had been cooking up these feelings for his inn keeper friend, he couldnt help but feel bubbly around her, the way she always treated him with respect and kindness.

How she braids his hair when he knows hes going on a long hunt that Will make taking care of his hair a living nightmare.

How she treats his wounds, scolding Him about it.

And how shed wake him up with a soft tone and her hand lightly stroking his hair,asking Him to wake up.

And he knew he wanted his life to be like that for ever.

An hour or so later jerico knocks on the door, with that softness that was so characteristic of her.

He opened the door with a big goofy smile.

--Hey

--hey, heres your cake

He took the Plate quickly leaving it on the table then back at the door leaning on the door sill.

--Ive got to ask you something

--Sure, shoot

--so...--geralt said trying to find the right words--when we first met you treated me with respect,you didnt fear me nor did you treat me poorly, why?

Jer raises an eyebrow leaning with her elbow on the wall.

--Well,because youre human too, and you deserve the same kindness as everyone else

And thats when it clicked for him, he wanted her by his side forever.

--And another thing

--hmm?

--Would you like to eat this cake with me?and I can tell you more about the hunt

Jeris eyes lit up and nodds.

She comes in, sitting with him at the table as both drink some tea, jerico listens to geralt talk about todays hunt, very invested in It.

Then geralt takes her hand, gripping it softly as he finished his tale.

--I really dont know how to go about this, so ill just say it, jerico...I like you, you have been always so sweet to me,youve spoiled me with things and I feel like I cant ever repay you for this, so let me try to make this up to you by giving you my love if you feel the same as I do

Jerico grips geralts hand and she smiles,a big grin.

She almost jumps out of his Seat, and as the Man stands up jer jumps on him, the witcher catching the dragonborn by her legs who wrap around his waist.

--you have no idea for how long have I waited to admit my feelings towards you,guess youve won this time, mighty witcher.

--dont try and test me now--he said clearly joking.

--you dont scare me--and with that she cupped his cheeks and kissed him.

He sets her on the table hugging her waist while his other hand cups her cheek, caressing it.

--And im glad I dont...

--youre such a dork

And that sent him back to his usual grumpy expression .

--Theres my geralt

--Jerico...do not test me

His eyes went black again.

--Oh you know I will...

Geralt sighs in annoyance,Why does he even try with her?

[river-of-asgard]

Greedfall Thoughts

Okay, so I’m about 15 hours into Greedfall, so I thought I’d take the time to jot down some of my thoughts and feelings about it, since I’m definitely solidly enough into it to have some.  Warning:  Spoilers ahead, if you haven’t played.  And if you have played it through, PLEASE NO SPOILERS.  I’m enjoying discovering this game with a fresh mind and eyes.

So let’s start with the mechanics.  Combat took remarkably less getting used to than I thought it would.  I’m still getting a bit used to the system, but it’s not as confusing or frustrating as, say, Witcher 3′s combat.  For now, I’ve mostly been spamming my basic fireball-type attack, but I’ve been having fun doing the area-effect stun and healing.  And I dig how when my mana runs low, I can just switch to my melee weapon and smash shit while I wait for my mana to refill.

Leveling up has been interesting, but thankfully, I don’t have to wait too long to hit my next level and get more points.  And my propensity towards exploring every inch of a map has been helping out with that--finding skill altars to get bonus points to spend has been fun.

I’m running into the classic RPG gear problem--something might have better stats, but it doesn’t look good, or it doesn’t match the aesthetic for the character.  Vasco *could* have a much better helmet on his head than his current leather tricorn, but.... the *aesthetic*, man.  Thankfully, I’m playing on easy mode (cause I am ALL about that easy mode life), so keeping everyone outfitted with the best gear isn’t the greatest concern I have, but eventually, I am going to have to give up on the aesthetic and put them all in the best possible gear.

**NOW ENTERING SPOILER TERRITORY**

Story-wise, I’ve finished most of the stuff in New Serene (I’m on an actual keyboard and don’t know how to do accents on letters; sue me), or at least most of the stuff which I’m presuming is “early-game” stuff for New Serene.  I then went to Al Saad, mostly to talk to the governor and to take care of Vasco’s family stuff, but then it was like, “While I’m here, I may as well clear out as much else as I can, right?”  So I took care of some Al Saad stuff, then *finally* moved on to Siora’s personal mission.  Got through all that, went back to New Serene, got the mission to investigate the ruins and Vasco’s mission to prove his loyalty to the Nauts.  Speaking of that mission, what in the HP Lovecraft was that damn creature?  EW EW EW.  And I had to fight ANOTHER one in the ruins?  Not cool, man.  Give me another one of those Ents on crack I fought in New Serene or something.

THEORIES:

So I’m pretty sure that part of why the Congregation is neutral now is because of their failed previous attempt to settle Teer Fradee.  It was just so long ago, it’s been kinda wiped from history/the collective memory, and now the Congregation’s neutrality is just one of those things that’s always been how things are.

Pretty sure Constantin has the malichor.  I mean, I disagree with his assertion that politics from the mainland haven’t followed them to New Serene, but I thought he looked pretty pale and sickly from the beginning, and if he’s still sick several months after the game has started... boyo is probably dying.

I think Siora has the mark of the on ol manawi, too.  I mean, I figure it probably would have come up by now if it was, but comparing the look of it to De Sardet’s birthmark, I’d say they look damn similar.  So like.  Two on ol manawis working side by side, that’s my theory.

OTHER THOUGHTS:

WTF is up with the eerily glowing mountain at the center of the island?  Oh, I’m sure it’ll get explained at the end; don’t spoil it for me.  And it obviously ties into the legend that Siora told about the ruins.  Still.  There’s this mountain that has a bright red glowing gash in it’s side, and everybody’s just like, “Oh yeah, whatever, that’s just the creepy mountain at the center of the island, everybody’s got one of those”?

I’ve already started planning future romances, since this PT, I’m finding myself gravitating towards Vasco (those face tattoos, man.  I just can’t.).  Siora is probably going to get herself a male De Sardet, cause she deserves to be swept off her feet by a big strong man who will be equally swept by her strength and beauty.  I’ll make a girlie for Kurt, even though I find myself firmly believing he also deserves to be swept off his feet by a big, strong man (but that’s why we have fanfiction, lol).

And this current De Sardet?  I’ve decided her name is Cassandra.  Because she shadow-punches bears, and “Have you ever punched a bear?”

[earthnashes]

Heya Songie, hope you're doing well! I'm going to buy a game on steam but not sure what should i buy. I tried to play Outlast but it scare the shit out of me. I'm thinking to buy The Witcher trio, but i wanted to ask you. I want to buy a game that has a great story, the gameplay and graphics don't bother me at all. What is your advice? Other than horror i can play any games!

Oh I don’t play PC much: I only have the Fallout series and Skyrim in my Steam archive. All of the other games I’ve played are always on PS4.

I remember a few cool PC games (and a few games that aren’t exclusive), though, so I’d recommend:

Fallout 3, 4, and New Vegas: Legit if you haven’t played any of them I urge you to. Don’t care what anyone says, the games’ stories are always what drag me in and despite FO4′s shortcomings, specifically when it came to story DLC (they only had 2, Far Harbor was fantastic but Nuka World needed more to it), all of them delivers. Not just that, the mods. You want a game that can tell new stories over and over and over? Fallout provides that just fine alone, like you always discover something new even if it’s like your 20th playthrough, but it’s the mods that helps the game shine. I’m talkin’ the quest mods and complete overhauls into a new game. For example? Fallout The Frontier: I’m super excited for that one to drop. I’m keeping my eye on another, Fallout: Miami. Or Fallout 4: New Vegas, in which it’s basically building Fallout New Vegas from the ground up using Fallout 4 as a base. The remake we deserve but probably will never get. What is essentially a full remake, another a completely new game... All for the stunning price of... nothing. You get it for free thanks to these amazing people putting their worth into this shit. If you can, support your modders. They do some good work, dare I say better work putting so much care into their creations of the game.

Elder Scrolls Skyrim: Bro it’s basically the same deal here as it is with Fallout: get it for the game itself and it’s fun base-game stories, stay for the fantastic mods. They also feature DLC-sized mods, mods that are essentially brand new games, and once more the modding community continue to amaze me with their dedication.

Ori and the Blind Forest: I watched this game since I didn’t buy it myself and it is gorgeous.

Cuphead: if ya don’t mind being angry, I hear it’s hard but great. I admire it deeply for its animation style.

Stardew Valley: I actually played this one but on the PS4. It doesn’t have like a full and deep story but what’s great about this game is that it’s very relaxing, aesthetically pleasing, and it’s the characters that are surprisingly well written and have complex personalities you get to discover through tiny cutscenes.

The Walking Dead (telltale): Fucking fantastic game, specifically the first two series. 3 was aight, with Clementine stealing the show (but I personally wasn’t interested in playing it because you didn’t get to play as Clementine exclusively like no thx I wanna see Sweetpea.)

The Witcher 3: It looks like a truly beautiful game with a deep and engaging story, so much so that I’m considering playing it myself.

ARK Survival: Okay so, in my opinion ARK isn’t actually worth it’s price tag, primarily because of the toxicity of PVP (like it’s moreso than usual) and the plethura of bugs it has and the admittedly shady practices of its developer. Now, that said? I love the game. For all of it’s faults, it’s honestly really fun: I prefer solo play but if you get a good band of buds to play with on PVP or PVE it’s even more fun. It has like.. some sort of semblance of a story, but it’s mostly just background noise, but this game is absolutely fantastic if you like a game that gives you the tools to essentially create your own story and essentially roleplay it out. That’s what me and my friends kinda did and we used to play the game for hours and days at a time because of it. I’ll tell ya’ll some of the shit we got up to later, I fondly remember them.

7 Days to Die: It’s a lot like ARK in that it doesn’t actually have much of a story to tell (in this case. barely at all) so it’s up to you and your friends (or just you if solo) to make one up and roleplay it. Unlike ARK, this game is sinfully cheap for the amount of fun it provides and don’t let it’s dated-like graphics fool you. It is a very solidly built game and some of the most fun I’ve had with a zombie game in years. It’s also on sale right now I think?

MASS EFFECT SERIES: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  SORRY BUT THIS IS LEGIT MY FAVORITE GAME OF ALL TIME???? FUCK. I love this game! The characters, all of them are so well written and compelling and arguably the best part of the game. The atmosphere is breathtaking, especially the places you get to visit while playing the game (especially Andromeda like wow the game’s gorgeous), the gameplay is fantastic (it has it’s flaws but it works for the game for sure), the dialogue is some of the best I’ve experienced, and the story honestly makes you feel like every little thing you do in the game actually matters. Like everything has it’s rewards and everything has a small story to tell in this game: it’s why when I replay the entirety of it I play all of the games from the very first one to Andromeda. Now, I will say if you’ve never played this game I highly recommend playing the first one first. Not only because of the story but because, as much as I adore the game, the gameplay is.... well. It’s kinda bad. Like it’s legit my least favorite to play because it can be kinda taxing in the gameplay aspect, specifically combat and that goddamned Mako. Also don’t just listen to all of the naysayers about Andromeda if you decide to play it because honestly, it is not that bad. And in comparison to the first? It does a much better job with setting up the series (if we ever get more of it, fuckin’ EA) than the first does, especially the characters. But like all games, I just recommend that you play them and make that judgement for yourself whether or not you think it’s worth your time.

Dragon Age series: I’ve never played the first, I will be playing the second soon, but I have played the third and I’m honestly surprised by how much it impressed me? This game seems to get a bad rep for a lot of stuff but from my perspective as a newcomer, it was a lot of fun to play and the story was fun and the cutscenes, when they mattered, were goosebumps inducing. That scene, the scene where they show their faith in you? I’m not gonna spoil it but jesus. The combat takes some getting used to but overall a fun game with a fun story and, once again, it’s the characters that draw me in.

Far Cry Series: From what I hear the stories are good enough as well as the gameplay and, from my experience playing the 5th one, that’s all true. I dunno about the rest of them but the 5th’s ending though? It’s total shit. I’d recommend playing it because, despite the bugs and some bullshit physics it honestly was really fun and the story did keep me interested to the bitter end. I’m just angry at how they ended it. Yeesh.

[lamentingpat]

Day at the Orphanage

Alone once again, Geralt settles in at Corvo Bianco, living a life he never imaged himself having. One day he passes by a local orphanage and ends up spending time there and bringing things for the kids. He can't help but reflect on his life, past and present, and whether he deserves the life he's living. 

Warnings: None  Relationships: Geralt of Rivia & Original Character(s) Rating: Gen Word Count: 1321 

Read on AO3 

a/n: During my playthrough of the Blood and Wine DLC, I realized there was an orphanage not too far from Corvo Bianco, and it spawned this ficlet! (Only did I learn later that it serves a purpose in the story depending on your choices, but I'm not going to spoil anyone.)

Witchers never die in their beds. That was a line that Geralt had heard since he was young, young enough that it still echoed in his head almost a hundred years later. He was still here. He had lived through everything, he had even raised a daughter, which had probably been the hardest thing he had ever done.

It’s not as if his work was ever truly done, there were only so many Witchers out there still and just as many monsters, but he knew he was slowing down. Whenever the weather began to turn his joints ached, adding to the pain he already felt in his knee and sword arm almost daily. He was lucky, even though he was in pain, he was still alive, and that was what mattered.

Those like him never got good endings, Geralt knew that painfully well from seeing so many of his brothers die, but a small part of him hoped he would, grasping onto the notion firmly. That’s why he found himself at Corvo Bianco most of the year, doing work in the surrounding area of Toussaint. At times he was embarrassed that he was allowing himself something like this, the comfort of a home and warm bed every night, but the easing of the dull ache in his chest when there overpowered his embarrassment by miles. It felt right, spending time with B.B. and Marlene, checking in on the other vineyards, living as close to ‘normal’ as he could.

What felt most right was when he visited the Orphanage. He hadn’t originally planned to visit, but one day when he was riding back to Corvo Bianco he recognized what the plain building was when he heard the delighted screams of children as they played in the almost barren yard. The next thing he knew, he was donating his extra crowns to the woman in charge, having seen the poorly fitting clothes and some thin-looking faces.

Soon he was visiting near every week as long as there was no contract, food and gifts for the children in tow. Their enthusiasm and bright eyes were a nice sight, it reminded him of when Ciri had been much younger and training at Kaer Morhen. He hadn’t been back there since the battle, and he hadn’t seen either of his brothers since. Maybe it was shame that kept him from going back, or maybe it was grief. He wasn’t sure what he would do if he returned one winter to find that he had another buried brother, so in Toussaint he stayed.

Geralt picked up hobbies. He had never had time for those before. Soon the children were getting hand-carved items, starting out crude and slowly growing more refined over time. Little Colve carried hers with her everywhere, showing off the cat with a notch in its ear that Geralt had modeled after one of the tabbies that meandered around Corvo Bianco. It was nice to feel appreciated, even if the girl didn’t realize who he was, what he was. The people of Toussaint were kinder to Witchers, but even the best places had pockets of poison towards those not fully human. Most places were okay, but Geralt never could shake the fact that he wasn’t human. He never would.  

Even in his happier moments, he was reminded of it. “Sir, why are your eyes like that?” A curious voice had asked him one day. Geralt looked up from the log he had all but collapsed on, his now lighter satchel sitting on his lap. The boy looked no older than ten, although Geralt couldn’t be sure. His grasp on human aging was ok, but not that precise. After a while, certain age groups tended to blend together. The boy was new to the orphanage, and from what he could tell, was one of the quieter ones. Maybe he was still adjusting, but Geralt wouldn’t know, he barely remembered what it was like when he arrived at Kaer Morhen or what the other boys had been like. His memories before the trials were… sparse at best.

“I’m… I’m a Witcher,” He answered after he had processed his initial shock. In years past his hair had been an indicator of his inhumanness, but Geralt wouldn’t deny that he was getting old, so having white hair wasn’t exactly unexpected. His muscles tensed, waiting for fear, or even anger from the boy but he just kept staring. Surely he knew what a Witcher was? For hundreds of years, they had been the source of tall tales used to keep children in line, because what child would want to be spirited away by a monster with cat eyes that almost looked like a man.

“But sir, you’re too old. You have white hair,” The boy finally said, staring at him in confusion. Did he really look that old? Sure, Geralt had never been big on the whole ‘taking care of yourself’ thing, but most Witchers weren’t. It always boiled down to just surviving and that took up most of their effort. Not all of them were reckless, well, mainly Eskel. If Geralt had learned anything over the years, it was that he was more reckless than he thought he was but was too stubborn to admit it out loud. Especially not around his family, he would have never heard the end of it if he did.

“I’ve had white hair since I was young,” Was the best reply he can muster, breaking eye contact with the boy. Geralt had never been great at eye contact, but now he couldn’t bear to keep it up as his thoughts churned in his head worse than his stomach after too much White Gull. He couldn’t look that old, he’d been told plenty of times that he still looked relatively young by human standard… “Witchers don’t get old, that’s what my Pa used to say,” Which… was not entirely false. Few of them had the luxury to live that long. Vesemir had been one of the few, and Geralt had even thought at one point that he would end up being the one Witcher to finally break the old saying. He’d been wrong, foolish really, to think that Vesemir wouldn’t die in combat.

“And why did he say that?” Geralt asked before he could stop himself, his curiosity winning over his better judgment. He knew better than to ask about peasant rumors related to Witchers, it usually was all just lies that ended up causing more harm than good. It was still hard to look at the boy, but Geralt did, giving him the proper attention as he explained what he had been told. “Witchers fight monsters and monsters are strong,” The boy stated what he knew proudly and Geralt gave him a small forced smile. The boy was old enough to know what death was. But, he was still too young to know that what he said was technically true, even if the monsters that killed them most were the ones they were supposed to help protect. A cruel irony, really.

“Monsters are strong. This is from one,” He gestured to the left of his face, referencing the large scar that carved through his forehead down to his cheek. The boy’s face lit up in excitement, realizing that Geralt wasn’t lying to him about being a Witcher. It wasn’t a new reaction, Geralt had seen many kids get excited when meeting a Witcher, usually the younger ones. They didn’t yet understand why people were afraid of them, since how can someone who fights the monsters be bad?

“Can you make me a dragon?” Geralt had completely forgotten the wood he had in one of his hands until the boy brought up the dragon. Right. Carving. He could do that. Much less complicated than what he’d been thinking about previously. “Sure. If you sit with me I’ll tell you how I met one.”