#look who remembered a keep reading this time!

[moon-ttokki-x]

safe - skz x 9th member!reader

pairing: ot8!skz x 9th member!reader

summary: skz helps you out when you're struggling with burnout and bad habits.

genre: fluff, idol! au, very angsty, descriptions of eating disorders, destructive habits, mentions of blood, fainting, throwing up (nothing graphic), reader is struggling with lots of thoughts, fluffy ending. read at your own risk.

a/n: i felt like it was time to write something that hits a little closer to home... hopefully it helps some of you out. my dms are always open to talk if you need it, and if you ever feel like reader does, please know that things do get better <3 divider by @iluvrei

The lights are too bright.

You blink harshly, trying to clear your vision of tears. Glancing across, you check to see if the boys have noticed anything. They haven't, too focused on the video of the choreography. They're all dripping with sweat, hair mussed, brows furrowed in concentration, and so are you, but you just can't focus right.

Not even if you tried. Because you can't do anything right.

Minho hums and notes down a couple things before signalling to start the choreography again. You move into your position and place a hand on Jisung's shoulder as you all fan out. The music blasts and leaves high-pitched ringing noises in your ears as you dance.

A hollow pang thuds dully in your stomach but you ignore it, instead focusing on copying Hyunjin's moves and moving into the next part of the song. By this point, you've forgotten the choreography and you want nothing more than to just sit down.

Focus, Y/n. Ignore it.

But you can't, too focused on just staying upright and keeping up with the rest of the boys. Even Felix, who tends to get tired the easiest, is dancing at full power, his eyes fixed on the mirror, adjusting and executing with perfect precision. The sight of it makes you feel even more run down and your temples throb when you stand back up into position for the main chorus.

Your energy finally runs out halfway through the choreo and you simply drop to your knees, hitting them hard on the polished floor. A chorus of groans sound out as Jeongin jogs to the speaker to stop the music.

"Y/n," Hyunjin groans, hands on his knees. Sweat drips from his hair. "We were almost finished, now we have to start again-"

He's cut off as a panting Chan waves his hand dismissively. "Take a break, guys. You okay, Y/nnie?"

You nod tiredly and look down at the floor, trying hard not to cry. That awful sour feeling takes a firm hold on your jaw and you gulp, like there's something stuck in your throat. The rest of the boys pay you no mind, chattering and bickering as they take swigs from water bottles and flick sweat from their hair.

Concert practice has been more than tiring, to say the least. Despite the tiredness and fatigue hanging in the air, the boys seem reasonably cheerful; pushing through with smiles on their faces. But being the youngest member of Stray Kids, there's only so much you can take on before it gets too much. You don't remember the last time you slept for more than four hours or ate a proper meal.

So while the others begin to move back into position, you stay on your hands and knees on the floor, gasping for air and feeling that terrible hollow pang gnaw at the lining of your stomach. A headache settles firmly between your eyes and your vision blurs, and it takes all your strength to even breathe.

Don't cry, you tell yourself harshly.

By now, Chan is kneeling beside you, a hand on your back. He knows how hard you've been working, especially since you just joined the production side of things, and he whispers a few reassuring phrases before standing up and offering you a hand.

Your eyes follow him as he rises from the floor, and a sudden burst of irritation shoots through you like lightning. Swatting his hand away and then immediately feeling terrible and selfish for it, you stand and brush yourself off, walking away without a word.

Chan stares after you just as Felix walks up.

"Is she okay?" The younger boy whispers.

Chan shrugs, brows furrowing in concern. "I don't know, Lix. I think she's just stressed with all the concert preparation."

"I mean," Felix begins as the music starts to play again, "She is the youngest of us. Maybe it's getting too much for her, hyung."

Maybe, Chan thinks as he moves into his position, watching as you do the same.

.

The rest of the day is uneventful; you spend most of it running between photoshoots, vocal lessons, rehearsals, and dress fittings for the upcoming concerts. It's all a blur, and by the time you open the door to the Minsung dorm, you're exhausted.

Minho and Jisung are already back from practice, since you'd opted to stay longer to perfect the choreo. Your body had been against it but you pushed through anyway, and you're beginning to slightly regret it as you almost stumble while shutting the door behind yourself.

Minho is in the kitchen, chopping something up; Jisung is lounging on the couch, watching something on his phone. The air smells rich and meaty, and normally you'd sneak into the kitchen for a taste of whatever Minho is preparing, but the singular thought of it makes you feel tense and nauseous.

You opt to grab only a new bottle of water before heading to your room. Minho looks up in surprise; he had been preparing to fight off a nosy, hungry Y/n, but you walk straight past him without even a hello. You do the same to Jisung and shut your bedroom door quietly, sinking down against it without a word.

You feel terrible about ignoring them; after all, they're your friends, but you just don't have it in you today to talk. Or dance or sing, or do anything at all. Everything feels dull and grey save for the hot tears that begin to soak the damp, musky fabric of your shirt.

Deciding to shower, you pick yourself up from the floor after a while and move sluggishly to the bathroom. You scrub until your skin is red and tingling and pull harshly at your hair while brushing it out before slipping on the first clothes you see in the drawer; a hoodie and sweats, all black.

Collapsing onto your bed, you open your phone and immediately regret it; the blue glare makes your head throb so harshly that you have to fight to urge to lean over the bed and throw up. You cover your mouth just in case, though there isn't even anything in your stomach to warrant the action anyway. You take a weak swing of water as a remedy and collapse back into the pillows, feeling exhausted but not tired enough to sleep.

Your stomach rumbles and you think briefly about sneaking into the kitchen after Minho and Jisung have gone to sleep, but you hold yourself back and roll over, gritting your teeth. Someone knocks on the door.

"Y/nnie!" Jisung calls from the other side of the door. "Come and eat something."

You ignore him, hoping that he'll think you've fallen asleep. You check the time; it's definitely late enough for that to be true. You wait with bated breath until you hear footsteps walking away.

You stomach growls more insistently and you press a disapproving hand over it, quieting the pangs as you turn over to try and sleep.

You can go one more day.

.

The next morning, you wake up early and decide to head to practice before Minho and Jisung can keep you back and make you eat something. You know for sure they've noticed the change in your eating habits, so you take a plate and break up a piece of toast, sprinkling crumbs so it looks like you've eaten. You throw the bread into the bin and leave your plate on the table before leaving.

Opening the door to the dance studio, you notice Chan, Changbin, Hyunjin, Jeongin, and Seungmin all up early too, rehearsing the choreo, messing about, or talking. Or, in Hyunjin's case, all three. You duck to the side and head to the opposite side of the room, as far away from Chan as possible.

Him being here isn't good; you know for sure, after how exhausted you were yesterday, he'll try and check in with you. And it wouldn't be hard for him to decipher what's been happening; the pale pallor of your face, the bones of your wrists more prominent than before, and of course the constant sluggishness, fatigue, and dizziness that you've forced yourself to endure for the past few days.

You busy yourself with unnecessarily reorganizing the items in your bag, trying to ignore how bright the lights are. It feels like a spotlight.

"Hi, Y/n."

You look up to see Jeongin standing next to you, smiling in a white shirt and basketball shorts. His hair is ruffled, and somewhere in the cold, dead depths of your hardly-beating heart, you realise it's because the boys have been messing it up with their constant affection of the maknae. The thought makes you feel nothing. You are numb.

You don't reply, instead giving him a curt nod and picking up your waterbottle. You walk and place it on the cabinets against the back wall just as the others filter into the room. Jeongin shrugs and decides to leave you alone, apparently unbothered by your lack of response. Maybe he thought you were just tired.

Good, you think grimly. I don't want him to notice, nor do I care if he does. Just leave me alone.

Your eyes flicker to Jisung and Minho as they move to put their belongings down. Jisung immediately goes off to mess with Felix, who is still sleepily waddling across the floorboards to Changbin. You look away, but not before your eyes catch Minho's. He locks his gaze with you and raises a pointed eyebrow, silently questioning.

You look away quickly, gritting your teeth so hard you swear you can taste blood. Your heart jerks and starts, sending a racing thud reverberating through the hollow shell of your body.

He knows. He knows. He knows.

You see him begin to move towards you in your peripheral and you exhale when Chan claps his hands, moving to start the practice. Despite how much your head hurts, and the fact that you can hardly see let alone dance, you're grateful for the interruption, and dedicate your entire focus to the choreography.

Minho eyes you during a slower part of the routine but you don't look at him. Or anyone. The most you do is glance at Seungmin to check if he's placed where he needs to be before you move past him to the middle. Your vision deteriorates and drowns into dizzy black spots with every movement, but you push on.

Your head pulses dully with an aching pain and there's simply no energy left in your body. You grit your teeth and keep going, trying to will strength from within.

I can last til the end of the choreo. Just a little longer-

You exhale sharply and suddenly then, as if you've been punched hard in the gut. Your vision clouds over completely and you briefly panic as you can't see anything, but you find your limbs still moving. The last thing you know before you pass out is the feeling of the cold, polished floor against your cheek, a dull thud against your head, and a panicked yell from one of the members.

You close your eyes.

.

"Y/n. Y/nnie, wake up..."

"Is she okay?"

"Did anyone see what happened?"

"Y/n!"

Groggily, you open your eyes, and immediately hiss from the glare of the bright white lights above you. You're lying on the floor, where you dizzily remember yourself falling. You try and weakly lift a hand to cover your eyes, until Chan's head and broad shoulders moves into view above you, blocking it completely.

You exhale a small sigh of relief, even though the swimming black dots in your vision are making it hard for you to see anything at all. Your head throbs even worse than before; you must have hit it before you fell and passed out.

Even through all of that, you can see the look on Chan's face; half concern, the other half an equal mix of affection and sternness. You can't do anything but let out a weak groan as someone kneels down next to you, pressing something cold to the back of your neck.

"Take it easy," you hear Changbin saying from above you. You feel a pair of strong arms lift you to a sitting position and the movement makes a swelling pang of dizziness shoot through your skull like hot lightning. You feel sick and feverish.

"Y/n," you hear Chan saying through the haze. "What happened?"

You can't hold back the tears from spilling down your cheeks, however dehydrated you are. They just keep coming and someone else wipes them away with a gentle brush of fingers.

This is your fault. You can't even keep up with them and now you're wasting their time by making them take care of you. Way to go, Y/n. Absolutely pathetic.

That same rush of irritation shoots through you again and you push Changbin's hands away from your shoulders. "Leave me alone."

He looks surprised but backs off anyway. Your vision clears momentarily and it's then that you notice all of the boys are standing around you, most of them in various stages of concern and confusion. You notice Felix tightly clutching Hyunjin's hand in worry, Jisung biting at his lip. Jeongin looks upset too, and even Seungmin has the decency to look mildly put out.

"Why aren't any of you dancing?" You say, confused.

"Because," Hyunjin puffs out dramatically, "One of our members decided to die in the middle of the choreography."

Ignoring the younger's comment, Chan places a gentle hand on your thigh. "Y/nnie, please talk to us. We're all worried. What happened?"

You scoff weakly and push Chan's hand away too, even though his warm, solid touch is comforting. He pulls back, looking mildly hurt, and you instantly kick yourself for it. It's Chan. Why did you have to go and do that?

"Nothing," you say. "I'm fine."

He lets out an exasperated groan and there are a few protests from the rest of the group. "Y/n, you literally collapsed on us. And you don't look well at all. Have you been sleeping lately?"

"Yes." Lie.

"Have you been pushing yourself too hard?"

"No." Lie.

"When was the last time you ate something?"

"This morning." Also a lie.

"We're not dumb, Y/n," Minho interrupts from where he's crouching near you. "I mean, we are sometimes, but we're not clueless, especially when it comes to you. Please let us in."

I can't.

"Okay," you whisper weakly, because you don't have the energy to argue. You feel so incredibly embarrassed and humiliated.

Chan sighs and hands you a bottle of water. You take a swig before putting it down.

"Practice is off, everyone," he says. "Let's regroup tomorrow. Good work."

"What are you doing?" You say on an exhale.

"Taking you home," he says firmly. "There's no way you're going to keep practicing after this. You need to rest and eat well for a while before you can join back in."

Your heart thuds hollowly in your chest. "But-"

"No buts. Please, Y/n. It's okay if you're not doing well, and we don't have to talk about it if you aren't ready, but we're not going to stand by and let you suffer like this, yeah?"

"Plus," Felix adds softly as he sits down next to you, "It's no fun when you're not around, so hurry and get better so you can join in again."

You look to Chan, defeated tears welling up in your eyes. You spot the slightest waver in his expression, but it remains firm and he helps you stand shakily to your feet without a word.

Minho walks over just as Jisung folds you into his arms, kissing the crown of your head.

"I'm sorry," you whimper to no one in particular.

"Shh, it's okay," Minho says, "Let's just get you back home and then you can rest, okay?"

You nod and let them lead you out the door.

.

The tangy fruitiness of the juice sends little bursts of flavour down your throat, and you sip a little more before placing the glass on your bedside table. You're looking out the window, though the curtains are drawn, and your hair is a mess, having slept ruffled against the pillow for around three hours now. The sun is beginning to set.

Jisung comes into the room, followed by Chan. You look towards them and sit a little higher up on the pillows as Jisung smooths a hand over your forehead.

"How are you feeling, Y/n?" Chan asks carefully as he sits on the bed.

"Better," you say quietly, even though certain thoughts still linger in the back of your mind.

"It's good that you slept a while," he continues. "Looked like you needed it."

"Yeah."

The room is silent for a while, and Jisung lies down next to you, his face pressed into your thigh. He lets out a muffled happy sound just as Minho comes into your room, holding a tray of soup.

He sets it down on the bedside table along with a banana, a glass of water, and a small packet of your favourite sweets before shamelessly flopping down onto the bed, making himself comfortable. Chan sighs before his hand reaches out to cover yours, which is picking at the blanket.

"Y/n," he says softly. "It's okay if you're struggling."

You shake your head, though what you're disagreeing with, you're not sure.

"It's okay," Chan says again. "It can be a lot, I know. And it's completely alright if you just need to take a break, yeah? That's allowed. But please don't punish yourself for it. You do so well and work so hard, and I know it feels wrong when you don't shine as much as you want to."

You stay silent, the sorrow beginning to weigh down on you again.

"Y/nnie," Chan says gently. "You can talk to us, okay? If you're struggling to take care of yourself, or if it's all just getting too much, come to us. We're all in the same boat."

"More like stuck with us in the same boat," Minho snickers from his position on top of Jisung.

Chan slaps the boy's thigh without taking his gaze off you. Ignoring Minho's whine of pain, he leans forward and brushes a strand of hair out of your face. The simple gesture is so gentle and reassuring that tears well up in your eyes again, and you thank your stars that Jisung has plenty of electrolyte drinks in the kitchen because of how dehydrated you're becoming because of the crying.

"I'm sorry," you whisper.

"It's okay, Y/n," Jisung hums from your thigh. "We all have bad days."

"Just please, please come to us if you're not doing well, okay?" Chan says. "We all love you very much, and none of us want you to be struggling alone."

As if the universe has magically decided to prove his point, the door flies open and Hyunjin and Seungmin crash onto the floor, followed by a giggling Jeongin and Felix. Changbin stands disapprovingly behind them.

Chan presses two fingers to the bridge of his nose. "For goodness' sake."

But his words are drowned out by the mad scramble of the boys clambering onto your bed, heaping themselves on top of you in a mess of bickering, singing, and arguing.

Felix presses his cheek to yours. "I missed you."

You exhale a tiny laugh. "I wasn't even gone a day, Felix."

"I know," he replies earnestly. "But I missed you anyway. I wanted more than anything for you to be okay."

"Me too," Jeongin interrupts indignantly.

"Yeah, me too," Changbin adds matter-of-factly as he makes himself comfy on top of a squashed Hyunjin.

"Say you wanted her to be okay too, Seungmin!" Jisung pokes him hard in the ribs.

All you get in response is a begrudging nod and it makes the rest of the group burst out into laughter. Even Chan can't fight a fond smile.

And even if you're not doing well at the moment, you know in that moment that the rest of the members will always be there to fall back on, and the thought makes you relax, finally, your mind quieting and replacing the hollow feeling in your heart with a solid, steady warmth.

You are safe.

a/n: this was was longer than i anticipated

[gothixm00nz]

I just wanna add this because... oof.

Listen, I get we're all upset and scared. This is a horrific time for everybody and it's like we're being cornered and forced to suffer through this.

If you want to have a protest, first read the post above and look into much more viable sources, but also know that things WILL get so much worse before they get better.

Keep in mind that when the actors and writers strikes happened, hundreds upon THOUSANDS of people lost their jobs. A strike/protest will always end with terrible things happening. This isn't just a silly little goofy thing, okay?

I mean, think of the protests back in 2020 and 2021. Do you remember all the people who died? The people who were KILLED for no other reason than trying to do what was right? The people who were attacked when they weren't even a part of it? Because I fucking do. I remember it all and it was terrifying. Protests aren't fun. They're not just a thing you do because you're mad. You do it because something has to change.

We protested in 2020 for all the people who were wrongfully killed. The people who were targeted by a government and a society that made no room for them. And things still haven't changed much... but if we're going to have protests and strikes, we have to keep the same energy. It doesn't have to be nearly as aggressive as the 2020 protests, but dear god don't just sit there and do nothing. That's not a good way to protest.

I just don't want younger people to believe every little thing they see when it comes to these serious issues. I want there to be some media literacy and for people to know that protests and strikes will ALWAYS be so incredibly dangerous. You will lose your job, you could lose your home, and you could even possibly lose your life. Don't just jump into something without knowing what can happen.

what a shame it would be if this were to be rebloged by a bunch of people, spreading the message further than the original reddit post could have ever reached.

[tigerpearlsworld]

Pick a card...

Your appeal vs your true self

Before you chose the cards know that this is a general pick a card. There are infinite energies in the universe and the energies if align with your stars will guide you to my reading. So, welcome. Know that you can only chose one card. This pick a card is meant for your soul not for you to resonate but for you to realize when you get the message and truth in time. To pick a card you must follow your hearts tug and instinct and look deep within each image something about yourself rather than what you want it to be Breathe in and Breathe out, light a candle/ incense, meditate to the beating of your heart and let every thoughts come through and accept what is coming in your heart and then light and form a picture in your heart as you close your eyes and meditate in yourself. After that when you open your eyes choose the image where your heart calls for the most and remember your heart is your guide not your brain so.....

Sorry if my english is bad.

To those who stumble across my reading i pray to the stars to bless you with pure energy and strength.

Choose the pile:

The reading starts...

Pile 1:

The Vibes i get from this pile : Like a Ocean

Cards: (Page of pentacles, Page of wands, 6 of wands, The emperor)

Your appeal:

First of all the appeal you guys have is of both practicality and passion, Beauty and distance, warmth and silence. This are the contradicting things of how you are perceived as. Your natural appeal is of curiosity to learn, its also about devoting yourself to do the routine work which you had promised without any lack. People may find your nature very practical and sometimes dull when you are in your work mode. But when you get back to your creative self i see you charming anyone without any effort. Also there is a certain shy awkward confidence which i don't understand but its coming like that to me. I see you are very likeable due to your nature of not being so dominant. Your appeal to the opposite gender may even be of seductive allure and submissiveness although that may not be your intention. I also see in nature your appeal has a lot to do with your creative sense and fashion. Some of you may even be a tattoo/henna artist i also see fashion designer. Your appeal can be equated with vines its delicate, its intricate and so different yet its so far out of reach and so creative in its climbing ability to get the light.

Your true self:

Like i said in the beginning of the reading your vibes which the stars are whispering are of ocean. You have a depth in your soul like the ocean. You have a beauty about you which is free flowing like water. You can never be chained to anything or anyone yet when you are devoted no one can outrank you in your devotion. I see a bigger than life attitude in your soul. You want experiences or relationships or achievements which gives you satisfaction in a universal way. Your love is like the ocean, it doesn't have any impurities its like a Childs love. And also there is a lot of creative talents and skills which you have with you but you only display those gifts in silence with your friends and family. I see you are a person who is open but there is a very intriguing mystery and coldness which no one can pinpoint not even the people who are in a relationship with you can understand this nature of yours. I see in contrast to how people perceive you as passive or submissive inside you are filled with confidence, dominance and stubborn energy. I also see in your true self you are someone who is very sensitive and aware yet conscious of your actions you display in front of others. Some can say you have this quality about you where you hide your true feelings and thoughts behind your actions. In your truest self no matter what life throws at you but you have this inherent flame or amber inside you which never lets you give up. There is also this sense of war which keeps happening in your life or maybe inside you, its very dramatic the choices. I also see you can also be a spiritual person who does witchcraft, Tarot reading or is interested in gothic things. I also sense there is something about mermaids coming in maybe when you were a child you wanted to be a mermaid. But in your true self i definitely sense you feel more connected with water and you feel more at peace when you are near water. In the future you may even have a house or build a house near the sea or any waterbodies. In your trueself i sense when you work hard on yourself the most or you work at something with true intention without any malice i see you get more results. I also see you have a life of pain where you always had to devote yourself to either your mom or dad or husband in every choice of life no wonder it said life for you is like a dramatic choice and of war. I also see in your true self that you are someone who may not like to tell a lie. your honesty is something dangerous. I see its hard for you to even tell white lies its not like you can't

say because you most certainly can even deceive but you will feel unclean afterwards in your heart and soul. there is also expectance you have from others to be honest which always leads to disappointment. I also sense you can be harsh and very judgmental in times to people who lies to you or maybe you just feel something is off. I see in your true self you are someone who once doing a task or devoting to something/someone can't be shooked easily, you are like a mountain than tall and cruel who wont let anything interfere or come between you and your goal. Even though im telling your vibes are like the ocean but its like the ocean which churns fire and sparks.

Before i even begin the reading this song was being repeated in my head. This may have some messages or something which means something to you.

Pile 2:

The Vibes i get from this pile : Intense Duality

Cards: (The chariot, 4 of swords, The devil, Page of cups)

Your appeal:

I sense in your appeal there is a yin and yang energy. Its like you have two souls inside you which people may not be aware of. I sense your appeal to people sometimes can be scary other times it can be

awkward. People may think you have this boring life about you until they find this rough and scary energy that you possess and also may think that your interest are very alien or very weird. Your appeal to some people even though you may not try but is very intimidating. I sense you may get judged alot quicker than others or people may just try to defend you more especially your peers but no one truly understands you. TBH.

I also sense in your appeal some people may find think you are very discipline and hard to approach and sometimes people may even claim you are controlling or dominating in some ways. In another aspect i sense you appeal can be sort of 'Rest' where people may think you have this easing quality to you like if they are angry and if they talk to you for some reason they may feel more calm and collected.

I sense in your appeal there is something very taboo like something very scary even BDSM like which for some is very intriguing but for others very horrifying. I sense your appeal is like a blue fire

very warm but also very hot which can be like moth to a flame for many people even people from your own gender may be attracted to you but like i said this burning flame keeps long lasting relationship away from you. I see your partners may either get insecure by you or intimidated by you. There is a duality like very bipolar kind of energy to you. I don't know why but some of you may have some Autism, Epilepsy, OCD, ADHD or Bipolar disorder of some kind its really random but im getting the message. the stars are saying to be easy on yourself. And if im being honest your energy is a mess i really cant read it its so mixed.

Your true self:

Now coming to who you are i see that inside you're someone who is very in tune with nature and the universe. I see when you were a child that you may had this idea about being a mage or were just very curious about the abilities to control the weather and rain. its very random i know. um.. i also see you i know again its very random but you had a foot injury or you have a very strong feet.

In your true self i sense there is something very divided like very bipolar in one hand you are someone who is very intense with your thoughts, like you can pierce and find out any information about anyone. But on the other hand you are someone who likes to keep their peace. I sense sometimes you may just get certain information out of no where or you may even get outer body experience during your sleep. I sense you have very sensitive ears and to calm your anxieties and paranoia you may keep your headphones on even when you're out or sleeping. I see that in your true self you are someone who is very misunderstood. I see that in relationship when you give advice to your partner with goodwill they often ignore or just ridicule your advice but i see that in time what you say comes to fruition like a prediction truly. I see that in your soul you are someone who likes to do things in a rhythm, life is a rhythm to you and you like to march on your own beat. I see that in one period of your life you may had shaved your head or you may have been very boyish in your appearance or the way you just dressed. In your true self i see you are a counsellor who has this ability to understand people from every stage of life no matter if you are young or old. I see that your self literally can connect anything in life be it information, energy, people, theories or music. i sense that you are very old soul and you may have a very mature opinions and ways of thinking than the people of your age. I sense that inside you are someone who on one hand is very childlike, innocent and idealistic but on the other side you're also very dark and in conflict with your own feelings. I sense that you may be interested in things which people may find disturbing.

This is very peculiar but only for you two songs came in my head together now you may take it as a message or a sign its up to you....

Pile 3:

The Vibes i get from this pile : Purity

Cards: (The Empress, Ace of swords, 7 of pentacles, knight of pentacles, King of swords)

Your appeal:

I see people have this image of you where they want you for what they idolize you as not for who you are. I see people looking at you as someone who is very alluring and seductive. They feel this compulsion towards you like there is something very magnetic about you. At first people may feel you are weird but later on i see people tend to want to coddle you. I sense people's appeal towards you is of fantasy where they fantasize you in different ways in their head. I also sense people feels there is a disconnect in understanding you as they feel your way of communication or expression is very odd/alien like. Your appeal also come off as someone who is very self contained and people may feel that you're someone who is very unattached to things which people find precious or normal in society so they may misunderstand you or not understand you at all. Sometimes your peers may also feel that you're the oddball of the group and that you have this habit of talking with yourself alone or even when you're in a group. I see they look at you as something which is very sacred and soft but also fierce. I see people tend to forgive you easily too. There is a fluidity to your allure and energy which attracts everyone and makes them question about themselves. I sense people want to do things for you and that your appeal is of someone who is very likeable to everyone of every age its like you're a chameleon which can mold and be anything what the person or the situation wants you to be.

Your true self:

For your true self i see you're someone who is magical. yes. I see that you're someone who although may seem weird and odd but i see that in your truest self you're the most observant and creative. I see that in soul you're a natural introvert. I also sense that even if you have different shape of eyes can be siren, doe, almond, round or downward looking eye i see there is something very dreamy and soft about it which cannot be describe its very ethereal tbh. In your truest self i also see you as someone who fits in this saying of "work smart not hard" You can be lazy too but you get your work done. I also see you don't typically get emotionally attach to people but when it does happen its gets real deep like your love can be compared to the bottom of the ocean, Unknown, dark and all consuming. For the girlies who are reading this i feel like you really don't need a man you're someone who wants something more than just relationship in life. You want the most purest and the most broadest form of love. There is also something very unbothered about you where you may not care what others have to say about how you are... like as long as people who you care about likes what you wear you can give less shiz about others its the truth. There is this quality to you like a switch in you where you can pull your sweet side like a angel or a dark side like Satan for real!!!

I'm also sensing that you will have a rags to riches path in your life. I also sense that even though in your appeal people may conclude you as like a kid who doesn't understands anything but in your truest self you are not even close to what they think or feel about you. You are someone who has this uncanny ability to read people and understand situations. I also sense there is a natural pull towards art, jazz and in abstract things. I also sense there is this dormant feeling inside you where you may empathize more with the villains because of how your truest self feels so different from everyone or may even like characters like Joker. I also sense someone of you may had substance or mental health issues. I also sense that in your truest form you are an advocate for animals and you are someone who likes animal and children a lot. I sense for this group in particular either some of may you lean towards being a celebate or indulging in that pleasure and this i am talking from an extreme angel. I also sense that even though you are kind and understanding but those qualities are often overlooked and that i also feel that sometimes you feel this compulsion inside you to be the person which people paints you to be just for the fun of it. I also see you may like to do or act in a way which surprises people. I also sense some of you have problems like ADHD or insomnia. And in your truest self i see you as someone who overcomes every challenge given your way.

This song was came to me when i was channeling your energy:

[likae]

Timeless Love (L.C.)

starring : lilia calderu x fem reader

sypnosis : an unexpected invite to traverse the road left you and lilia in a dilemma. lilia feels she has to go—fate’s call, if you will. you reluctantly let her go, as it weighs heavily in your heart. it’s only when the moon shines outside that a bond breaks. not to worry, it will soon be rekindled by time.

content : both reader and lilia are married. angst. welcomed hope. your love for each other transcends that of time.

word count : 1526

author’s words : guys, i love angst so much (if you can’t tell already.) i hope you guys enjoy reading !

When the morning started with a woman who wailed as if she came out of a soap opera and a teenager you assumed to be her kid, you had an inkling today wasn’t going to be quiet. What you hadn’t expected, however, was for your wife to be roped into this “walking The Road” nonsense. By Agatha Harkness, no less.

The amount of frustration and anger that seeped into your being couldn’t possibly be explained through words. Lilia, who never failed to calm you down, gently placed an arm on your waist to soothe you. Regardless, you ushered the covenless witch and the nameless child out the door, feeling a tad bit bitter by the thought of your wife venturing on The Road. The invitation had been far too careless, as if they had never thought that you and Lilia’s lives together were far too precious to risk for this supposed “prize.”

Silence enveloped the store, your forehead creasing in stern disapproval. Lilia stayed quiet, instilling discomfort within you. “Lilia?”

She met your eyes, and it told you something weighed on her mind. And that was more than enough to tell you that you wouldn’t like what she was going to tell you next. And she herself knew you’d find the idea distressing.

“I feel as if I have to go, baby,” she softly said, taking your hand in hers.

“For what reason?” You snapped. She took her time to breathe in and out.

“A faint memory from the reading I did with Agatha,” she started, meeting your eyes. “I don’t quite remember what it is, but something tells me I have to go, baby.”

You clicked your tongue, shaking your head. “For that witch? I’d understand if it was some damsel in distress but Agatha Harkness?!” She squeezed your hand—her eyes filled with utmost fervor. You took a moment to collect yourself.

“Lilia…,” you sighed, shoulders slumping. “It’s dangerous to go on The Road. You know that better than I do.”

“I know, baby. I know. But something tells me…” she trailed off.

Your gaze softened, swallowing the growing lump in your throat. Torn between keeping your lover safe and allowing her to go, you tucked a loose curl behind her ear and cupped her cheek. “If you feel that you need to go�� go.”

She gave you a small smile and embraced you in a tight hug. You felt as if something heavy had been placed on your shoulders, but you tried not to think too much of it. “Do not be reckless, Lilia. Prioritize your own safety.”

She giggled a little, releasing you from her grasp. “Look at my girl encouraging me to be selfish.”

You rolled your eyes. “Why am I even letting you go?” You muttered.

She scoffed playfully, making her way to the boiling kettle to pour herself some tea. The aroma of the imported tea leaves hits your nose, calming your nerves just a little. You see Lilia pause for a moment before reaching for the pen and paper lying on the coffee table. Your gaze never left her, unsure if you made the right decision. She wrote something down on the paper before folding it in half and placing it back down. She gave you a small smile, and you gave her one back too.

“Are you leaving in the afternoon?” You whispered, approaching her.

“It appears so,” came her quiet reply.

You tried to appear unbothered, but you knew she had already noticed your change in demeanor. The Road may have been just an old tale before, but it sure isn’t anymore. Lilia took a sip of her tea as the quiet in the room filled the air.

“We can spend the rest of our time doing whatever you want, baby,” she said in her teacup before taking another sip.

“Just want to spend time with you, Lils,” you hugged her side. She gave a silent reply by putting her arm around your waist.

Even when you held Lilia tighter, time still ended up passing by. It pained you to see her leave as she reached for her shawl. She gave you a kiss on your forehead and reassured you over and over again that it’ll be fine.

“I love you, baby.”

“I love you more.”

And with that, she left. An echo of her presence stayed glued to you, but you tried to shake it off. “She’ll come back,” you thought.

The stars twinkled outside to remind you that the middle of the night had fallen. You dragged your feet on the floor before your eyes caught sight of the cracked vase sitting on the windowsill. You and Lilia had put off replacing it, promising to get it done later. Truthfully, you both never had the plans to—being procrastinators and all. You sighed as you gently picked it up.

You made your way to the living room but stopped when a chill ran down your spine. It shook at your bones, nerves, and everything in between. Then, like it had been practiced before, you felt an intangible tether snap as if it had no choice but to let you go. Something told your soul that your other half departed from the present in that split moment.

An ear-splitting shatter tore through the air, followed by a dull ache in your palm. You cast a fleeting glance on your hand to realize you had dropped the cracked vase—a deep crimson colored your palm, tainting your already wandering thoughts. Your hands started to shake, tears threatened to fall, breathing became harder, and a pit started to form in your stomach. Your eyes darted between your bloodied palm, a golden picture frame, and the cerulean drapes; yellows, reds, and blues meshed into an incomprehensible figure burning itself into your vision.

Lilia.

In that split moment, it felt as if the wind got knocked out of your lungs. Her name barely left the space between your lips. You feared that if you said it any louder, the intimate space of your and Lilia’s shop would give way, crushing you and your soul beneath it. Your vision blurred, and you blinked to let tears escape you. You shifted closer to the coffee table, gripping its edge tightly as if it could ground you as you lowered yourself to sit on the ground. Sobs left your very body while reality settled in.

A piece of paper fell on your side—the same one Lilia left on the table. You sniffed, taking it between your fingers. You remembered the smile she sent your way that morning as her favorite tea traveled through the air. You hadn’t bothered seeing what she wrote, assuming it had been one of her indecipherable writings—the kind she only ever seemed to understand.

Tracing the edge of the folded sheet, you carefully opened it. The way the letters took shape—every bend, every curve—had been so Lilia. You read it. Your heartbeat stuttered, rereading what you had just read: a private letter just for you. But, strangely enough, she seemed to recount events that happened on The Road. Did she experience another gap of time before leaving? And when your eyes reached the last line, the word “goodbye” was the only imprint you could focus on.

“Goodbye for now.”

A cry ripped through your throat, hugging the piece of paper. Denial set in, trying your very best to fight the thought of losing her forever.

Forever?

Lilia could never truly leave you. She seemed to remind you of that fact—the remaining remnants of her tea leaves, the cards stacked on the kitchen counter, and the remaining perfume that lingered in the air. You breathed it in, hoping your shaky breathing could help you. But still, you trusted Lilia. Lilia had a reason to go. You may not fully understand—the words of the letter not fully reaching you just yet—but you knew that she had a reason.

And whatever reason that is, you believed in her.

Your eyes trailed to the sentences just before “goodbye,” and it read:

“We’ll see each other again soon, baby.”

And you felt reminded of something.

Time runs in a circle—a loop. It ends, and it begins. Again. And again. And again. In every breath, every thought, every beat of your heart, you will inevitably fall in love with her, as she does with you. You will inescapably experience grief and pain. Again. And again. And again.

Like a never-ending story.

But oddly, just like what Lilia had written, you felt reminded of something. That the love you both shared and the pain you both feel transcends that of time. That even the present cannot cage the past nor the future. That you, and you alone, are more than enough for her to live through it all. Again. And again. And again

You let out a shaky sigh and looked at the letter again. A strong resolve settled in your heart: if grief was the price you had to pay to love her in every lifetime, then you were more than willing to accept it.

If this was the end, may the beginning come greet you sooner.

p.s. : hiya ! have u eaten and slept well? i hope u have! pls take care of urself as always!! i hope u enjoyed reading :3 !!

[porcelaininkpot]

Miscellaneous D.A.M.N Crew Headcannons Volume Two >:}}}

Gavin always takes an extra long time to shower because not only does he have a fifteen step self care routine, he gets distracted by his reflection and admires himself for so long he takes twenty minutes to even start.

Damien works himself so hard he loses track of time completely and can't tell the difference between night and day. Once, he started getting ready for an early morning class and was almost out the door before Huxley emerged from his room and told him it was 11pm.

This concerns Huxley to no end, so to keep him grounded he'll come up behind Damien at random times and murmur the time and day in his ear. Its developed into an affectionate habit and he does it even now despite Damien being much less harsh on himself.

Up until meeting Freelancer and the crew, Caelum had never properly written anything before in his life. He still doesn't really have any need to, but Damien insisted that knowing how to read and write was a basic skill anyone should have regardless of whether or not they actually need it. This was said while he gave Gavin the most atrocious side eye.

As a result, he taught Caelum how to write, and his handwriting is less text and more doodles, he replaces his As with stars and his Os with spirals and uses exclusively pink glitter gel pen.

Damien was once having a terrible day and in the middle of a mental breakdown realised it was the birthday of someone he hated and got so offended and mad he snapped out of it, stopped breaking down and made himself have a good day out of spite.

After Lasko left, his parents erased all traces of his existence and had another child, a girl. Their parents were so scared she'd turn out like him they put her through unimaginable restrictions and didn't let her have any freedom. Unfortunately for them, she turned out to be a water elemental. They didn't take it well. She's now currently a teenager on the run and neither her nor Lasko know that the other exists.

Being around Caelum makes Lasko remember how much he always wanted a little sister of his own.

Freelancer once tried to put their little sister up for adoption.

Huxley has shoulder length hair that he almost exclusively ties in a half up half down look.

Dear loves drawing on other people's hands.

Lasko loves having his hands drawn on, but only when it's Dear doing the drawing.

They both do it to relieve stress.

Huxley is the only person alive that makes Damien feel comfortable enough to loosen up and just exist. No stress, no worries, no thoughts, just how much he loves and how much he's loved.

Dear is scarily good at poker.

Freelancer once tried to learn tarot but the first reading they did on themselves called them out too hard and they dropped it out of spite.

To this day, Gavin thinks platypuses aren't a real animal.

Damien has actually met Avior, it was at the library and they got into an argument over who got to check out the last copy of Pride and Prejudice.

The DAMN crew once went to the beach and got super competitive at sandcastle building. Huxley and Freelancer won against Gavin and Damien while Dear sunbathed, enjoying watching them fight.

Lasko was off elsewhere trying not to lose his shit at the sight of Dear in a swimsuit.

Huxley has freckles.

Damien has dimples.

Freelancer's favourite coat once tore, and Gavin seamlessly stitched it up. It was as if the tear never happened in the first place. {He used shibari knots}

Dear has the best handwriting out of the entire crew, unfortunately their cursive is so intricate and elegant no one can read it.

All demons have markings and designs across their bodies naked to the human eye but visible under uv light, similar to scorpions, they're a reflection of the demon's soul and naturally, unique to each demon.

Gavin's marks are smoky and wispy, trailing over his long limbs to form the most ornately designed hearts. They glow a deep pink under neon light and he loves showing them off at clubs.

Caelum's markings are bubbles and clouds that float around his body and change shape. His are bright yellow and blue and he didn't know he had them until Freelancer got him an invisible ink pen with a uv flashlight attached.

Freelancer has a uv tattoo of Gavin's wispy hearts across their own sternum, curling up to one soft heart right above where their own beating heart lies.

[dameronology]

recovery (bucky barnes)

summary: bucky's life has gone to shit. there's only one person who can help. (x)

warnings: this is kinda raw?? and mentions of drinking!! plus swearing.

thank you to @retrosabers for listening to my waffling as i wrote this

enjoy!!

jazz xx

Read, 11:32PM. 

Bucky Barnes missed the days when you didn’t know if someone had read your message. 

He’d never had that problem when pigeon mail was a thing. 

Now, he knew that you’d seen his message. He knew that you had read his lovelorn paragraph and chosen to ignore it. Even worse, you could have just swiped on the message and not taken in a word at all. If this had been the old days, he could have told himself that your lack of response because it had got lost in the mail, or delivered to someone else, or was just taking a while to get there. Now, thanks to Mark Zuckerberg, he knew exactly what happened. And when. And how. 

That was six weeks ago, and Bucky wasn’t entirely sure he had moved from his mattress since he’d seen those two blue ticks. It didn’t feel like six weeks. That was a long time. There were days when his phone ran out of charge purely because he was staring at your profile picture for so long. You’d changed it now, from one of you and him, to a selfie you took with Steve and Sam at last year’s Christmas Party. It had been cropped every so slightly to remove Bucky from the picture. You could still see the edge of the jaw, but nobody would have known he was there, save for him. 

That left a heavy feeling on his chest. Not just cropping him out the picture, but out of your entire fucking life. Even with his face removed from the picture, Bucky still remembered that night - kissing you at midnight, telling you he loved you at midnight, keeping a strong arm wrapped around your waist the entire time. If he squeezed his eyes shut long enough, he could pretend you were still there. But, he would open them again a few minutes later and realise you were actually just a pile of pillows with eyeliner stains on them.

(He was experimenting with his style post-break up). 

The worst part of it all was that Bucky knew it was his fault. It was his choice to get bad again; his choice to ignore all the warning signs and instead, dive head first back into his old ways. You’d begged and cried and bartered - left the numbers of therapists on the fridge and self helplines on his laptop - and still, he’d not only gone down a slippery slope, but he’d chosen to throw himself. Now, he was at the bottom. You’d peered over the edge for a little while but soon enough, you had no choice but to walk away. 

“Buck!”

There was a thump on the apartment door, but Bucky didn’t answer.

“Bucky, I know you’re in there,” Steve continued. 

“I don’t wanna talk!” Bucky yelled back. 

True to form, Steve Rogers never listened - the door came crashing down a few seconds later, the super soldier landing in an ungraceful pile on top of it. Fucking brilliant, Bucky thought. 

“What part of I don’t want to talk is hard for you to understand?”

Steve let out a sigh, looking at his best friend. Bucky was strewn across the sofa, six or seven empty bottles of Jack Daniels littered on the coffee and table and an eighth in his hand. The whole place smelt like a fucking bar. It was clear that he hadn’t cleaned since you’d left, or maybe even showered. Bucky’s stubble was forming a beard now and his hair was unkempt. Steve hadn’t seen him looking that tired and messy since his first days out of Hydra. 

“Buck, you’re a mess,” Steve said.

“I made my bed, now I’m lying in it.”

“Actually, you’re on the sofa,” he quipped, but his goofy tone soon dropped. “C’mon, buddy. This has been going on for too long.”

Bucky groaned. “I don’t know what else to do. I lost the only one good thing in my life-”

“- and whose fault was that?” Steve cut him off. 

“What?”

“Whose fault was that?” he repeated himself. “I’m not tryna be mean, Buck, but you pushed them away, remember? They tried, and you refused the help.”

“Did you come over here to help me to feel better, or to make me feel worse?” Bucky snapped.

“Man, I came over here to check you were alive,” Steve replied. “Because no one is sure these days.”

“Just leave me be, Steve.”

—

Bucky rotted in peace undisturbed for a few more days. 

That was until Saturday, when there was a violent knock on his (now repaired, post-Steve) door. He lifted his head from the pillow like a confused puppy, pausing for a moment. He glanced at the time - who would be knocking at 11:32PM on a Saturday night. Did people not have hobbies?

“Pizza!”

“I didn’t order pizza!” Bucky called back. “You have the wrong address.”

“You’re J. Barnes, no?”

“Wrong address, buddy! Go away!”

Another second passed, and before Bucky could even blink, his front door came crashing down again. Seriously, why the fuck did people keep doing that? 

He was about to lose his absolute shit, but instead Bucky froze when he saw you. Apparently it was snowing outside, cos there were a few flecks caught in the front of your hair and on your jacket - his actually, that you’d stolen years ago - and boots. And, to be fair, you were also holding a pizza. 

“I said pizza,” you announced yourself. “Also, Steve sent me to help get your head out your ass.”

“W-what?” Bucky stuttered. “You’re back? You came back-”

 “ - I never left, Bucky,” you cut him off. “I just needed to take some time. I couldn’t sit here and watch you throw yourself back into oblivion, which you have done a very good job of, by the way.”

There was a brief pause before you spoke again. 

“You look like shit and smell like a distillery, by the way.”

Bucky grimaced. “Yeah.”

“Let me help you…please?”

You opened your arms and in a second, he’d fallen forward and let you envelope him completely. You had always planned on coming back, but you’d had to deal with yourself first; Steve calling had been your sign, though. If he couldn’t help Bucky, then things really were dire. And, without sounding twisted, you’d hoped that actually up and leaving like you’d promised would be a wake up call for Bucky.

It had been. He just needed a kick up the ass - and that’s why you were here.

Bucky nor you spoke for a while after that.

He didn’t say a word as you sat on the edge of the bathtub, rinsing shampoo into his hair, although he did let out a little laugh when you used the bubbles to fashion his hair into one long spike. There was a quiet stay still whenever he tried to move when a razor was near his face, or scissors near his hair, but within the hour, you had Bucky looking like Bucky and less like The Winter Soldier. He looked tired still, of course, but this was the first baby step.

“Do you hate me?”

The question caught you off guard. You were sitting on the end of the bed whilst Bucky was drying himself off with a towel; you’d seen his butt enough times, so leaving the room didn’t feel necessary. It did hurt your heart a little to see that he’d lost weight, though, 

You shook your head. “Buck, I could never hate you, and I didn’t stop loving you either.”

His eyes lit up for the first time in weeks. “Really?”

“Are you stupid, Barnes? Of course I didn’t stop,” you shot back. “Like I said, I just couldn’t stand around watching you do that to yourself. I’m sorry for leaving, I really am, but I just wanted you to get better. I still do.”

Bucky took a seat beside you, pressing a kiss to your temple. “I’ll try. I promise. I’ll call one of Stark’s therapists in the morning, and I’ll go for a run, and-”

“- Buck, don’t push yourself,” you cut him off. “Baby steps, okay? And I’m there for every one of them.”

tags: @adelinesmedia

[count-on-mi]

Twice Interactive Story Part 12 Shhh... Hello, stranger (Sana, Mina, Feat. Tzuyu)

You woke up by Mina the next morning, and she obeys you that she did not give you the morning blow job, instead, she just stand next to your bed.

'Morning boss, feeling better today? Minari has prepared the breakfast for you and Miss Jihyo already, but I did not prepare for another guest.'

“Oh, that’s alright Mina. She can have mine; I’ll just pick us up something on the way to work. Thank you, Mina.”

Both Jihyo and Nayeon are too exhausted to wake up for the breakfast, but you still plan to have breakfast outside with Mina.

When you are reading the menu, Mina stops you and points and another side of the table, 'Boss, is that the woman who peeked us before?'

You take a look and find that it is Tzuyu, she is eating the breakfast with a old man, it should be her boss as you remember.

You think about what she said last time, you are not sure what's she planning.

I walk over to the pair, and ask if we could join them.

You bring Mina towards their table and ask could you join them.

'Hey, Y/N, long time no see, take a seat, who is this pretty woman, is that your girlfriend, you are a lucky man huh.' Tzuyu's boss greets you while Tzuyu still pretending to be a shy girl.

"No sir, this is my secretary, and who is this young lady? "

I take a seat "So how has she been doing at her job? I could always use more hands in my department, and I feel like she could know some very use people. I wouldn't want to take her away after all."

'Tzuyu is very useful somehow, a good intern. Do you want to borrow her to your team? Technically it's OK, but how about your borrow your secretary in return, I think it will be fun if she works in my team.' The boss said while looking at Mina with a horny smile.

"While I appreciate you lending me Tzuyu in exchange for Mina, I need Mina by my side she does some of the most important work. So I guess we'll have to leave things as they are."

'Such a shame that I cannot work with you, pretty.' The boss looks at Mina one more time before turning back to you.

'Anything else you want from me? If no, I am going to leave now, right Tzuyu?' The boss grabs Tzuyu's hand on the table.

"No, there's nothing else sir." I'll look at Tzuyu's eyes to gauge how she feels about her boss.

Tzuyu still acting shy and she leaves with her boss.

Mina kisses your cheek, 'Thank your boss. I am really afraid when that guy look at at me like that.'

'I think that girl looks so shy, I don't think she will talk about the gossip about us.' Mina said.

"That’s not how she acts when she's alone, Mina. But just know I wouldn't trade you away Mina. You're too precious to me." I sigh. "We should get something to eat, and head to the office Mina."

You two finished breakfast and then back to the office, as the restaurant is near the office, so you parked the car at the office carpark and walk to restaurant.

Mina is talking about what happened yesterday while you are walking back to the office, as you did not leave your room at all. You can feel Mina's hand keeps touching yours intentionally.

I look up to meet Mina's gaze, "I have to thank you again for yesterday. I really appreciate everything you do for me, Mina."

'Don't say thank you to Minari, boss. Minari would do anything for you. Minari told you many times already.'

Mina looks back at you, cupping your cheek, and want to kiss you, but you are much taller than her, if you don't get down a little bit, she won't be able to kiss you.

I cup her cheek and kiss her instead.

You two exchange saliva passionately until both of you can't breathe, Mina blushes after the kisses, 'Boss, I... I love you, Minari wants to stay by your side forever.'

Mina tries to use her little finger to hook your hands, but she is too shy to completely hold your hands.

I do it for her. "I love you too Minari."

You hold Mina's hand firmly while walking to the office, you see Mina is dropping tears.

'Are you ok, Mina?' You ask while wipe away her tears.

'Boss, Minari is ok. Minari is just so happy now.' Mina smiles at you.

You two meet Sana at downstairs of the office

'OH, that's why Mina didn't allow me to enter your room yesterday?' Sana smirks while walking to you.

'No, Miss Sana, it's... it's not like that, I am just... I am just...' Mina replying to Sana shyly.

"Let me, Mina. Sana, I had a really bad day yesterday that's why Mina didn't let you in."

'OH, boss are you ok today? I think Mina and me can cheer you up if we 3 having some fun in your room.' San caresses your throat to your chest and finally catches your shaft. You swallow your saliva while watching her cleavage.

'You can tear my clothes today if you want.' Sana whispers in your ear, your cock starts to harden due to her massage.

I act professional, "I'm doing better today, Sana. I'll be in office if you need me. Won't I Mina?"

'See you later then, boss.' Sana grabs your bulge again before she leaves.

You then head back to your room and start working, you need to pick up the progress of yesterday. But Sana knocks on the door just after you switch on your computer.

'I'm ready, boss. I will make sure to cheer you up.'

"Sana, I actually need to catch up on yesterday's work. If you help me catch up that would cheer me up, get Mina too. This will be a team effort."

'Come in, Mina. Your boss needs you.' Sana tells Mina to come in and then she starts getting off her clothes and crawling to your desk, start to suck your dick under the table.

'What do you need, boss?' Mina looks innocently as always when she comes in. 'And where is Miss Sana, I heard she calls my name.'

"Sana get out from under there, I said that if you helped me catch up on the missed work you could get something." I turn to face Mina "I need help catching up on the work I missed yesterday could you help me catch up?"

'Boss, Mina will help you do the work while I can take care of your happiness, isn't that great.' Sana sucks you harder, and you moan from the pleasure.

Mina just sit at opposite of you and start working before locking the door.

"Fine" I look over to Mina "I'll make this up to you with special lunch Mina" after that I get to work.

'Just anything you wish, boss. I hope the boss remembers my guaranteed breakfast for these 2 days.' Mina smiles at you and focus back to the work.

Sana's mouth is too good, and you soon stop the work, just simply laying on your chair and enjoying her blowjob. 'Sana, your mouth is so good, I can't focus.' You caress her cheek and praise her hard work.

I start face fucking Sana, realizing I can't let Mina be doing all the work. I hope to be able to orgasm quickly and get back to work.

You grab Sana's hair and start to face fucking her, you fiercely fuck her mouth. Sana is choking from your pace, she keep hitting your thigh, wants you to let go.

'Sana, hold on a bit, I am going to cum.' You fuck Sana's mouth faster hoping to reach your orgasm.

When I cum I hold Sana to the base of my cock until I've finished. When I let go. I immediately get to work.

You pull out from Sana's mouth, and immediately back to work, Sana is breathing heavily as she is recovering. Sana slowly climbed up and rested on your lap, drawing circles on your chest, 'You are so powerful today, boss, I love it.'

Sana then starts caressing your body while she is grinding your semi-hardened cock. You enjoy her movement as she is also giving you some help on the work while she is playing on you.

"That’s what I'm talking about Sana thank you for helping me with actual work." I say as I focus on my work and ignore her actions to the best of my ability.

You three nearly finish the work, while Sana starts teasing you again, she is grinding on your lap, and your cock is hard again from her tease. 'Boss, I am all wet because of you.' Sana whispers in your ear and starts playing with your nipple.

Your moan becomes louder when she keeps teasing your body, Sana giggles and starts to plant hickeys on your neck. 'Come on boss, finish the work then you can fuck me.'

Mina seems unhappy when seeing Sana this close to you, she shows it by using the keyboard loudly and turn around to not look at you.

"You know what Sana, you finish this up. You've had your turn. Mina deserves a break."  I plant Sana down in my seat, and walk over to Mina. I plant a kiss on her head "I'm so sorry for ignoring you Minari, let me make it up to you."

'It's ok, boss. Miss Sana's hard work deserve rewards too, I'm ok.' Mina says.

You hug her and put her on the sofa, slowly removing her clothes while kissing.

'I want to fuck you right now, My dear Mina.'

"Don't you want your special breakfast? I'll give you it and more." I say as I trace her lips with my finger.

'Minari wants the breakfast, Minari wants boss.' Mina breathes heavily due to your tease.

'That's my good girl, Mina, ready for breakfast.' You start to push your shaft to her mouth, ready to give her the breakfast she is waiting for days.

Sana comes and licks your ear, 'Need my help for more fun, boss?'

Mina shouts before she starts to suck you' I don't want to share my breakfast with Miss Sana, you already take one.'

"Get back to work Sana. It's Mina's turn." I them turn back to Mina a little surprised she shouted. "Look at you Mina shouting that you want my cock. Aren't you being bold today?"

'Minari miss the breakfast so much, so I... Sorry Miss Sana.' Mina soon back to her normal state, being shy again and keep sucking your cock.

'Mina ya, didn't I make you feel good too last time, how come you treat me like that?' Sana goes down and play with Mina's clit.

'Sorry, ah, Miss Sana, it's really feels good, but I want to be a little bit selfish today, ah faster.' Mina is excited like last time as she is using by both of you and Sana.

"Don't worry Minari, we'll make sure to make you feel good" i call out as I slowly push my cock to the back of her throat. I moan her name as I slowly thrust in and out if her mouth.

'Ah Mina, your mouth is so warm, yes, here, lick here, ah Mina, that's right.' You keep thrusting into Mina's mouth while guiding her to attack your sensitive spots.

Mina is becoming more hyper as Sana keeps rubbing her clit, she tighten up her throat due to the pleasure, which makes you feel better too.

Suddenly, you feel something warm at your rim, you turn back and see Sana is licking your asshole.

I pull Sana away and force her onto Mina's tits. "It’s Mina's turn Sana, I won't repeat myself again."

'If I make boss feel better, isn't Mina can get more cum for breakfast?' Sana starts playing your nipple while fingering Mina, giving you a body massage with her tits pressing on your back.

You are already near the edge of orgasm, Sana has triggered your critical point, you are ready to cum.

I tell Mina I'm going to cum as I slowly thrust onto her mouth.

'Ah, Mina, I'm cumming, enjoy your breakfast.' You thrust one last time in Mina's mouth, and release all your cum in her throat. Sana stops playing your nipple, she moves on to massage your ball, helping you to cum more for Mina.

'Ah, yes, just like this.' You moan while enjoying the post-orgasm from the milking by both Mina and Sana, holding your dick deep in Mina's throat. The amount of cum in Mina's throat make her start choking, Sana increases the pace of the fingering, which makes Mina instantly cum, she can't breathe, some of your cum even splits from her nose.

"Oh poor Mina," I say while I try to help her clean up.

You grab a tissue and try to clean Mina's face which is covered by cum, while Sana does not stop playing with Mina's pussy. Mina's whole body is still jerking from previous orgasm, but Sana did not slow down her speed, once you finishing cleaning Mina, she cums again, she squirts and cums all over Sana's face.

'Ah, Mina, why are you so dirty.' Sana keep playing Mina's body and seems she is not going to stop.

"Are you enjoying yourself Mina?" I ask while I out her hand on my cock.

Mina is too exhausted to answer you, she just simply nod and her body starts to jerk again, you just smile and guide her to stroke your cock.

'You need to a lot more hard work if you want more breakfast, Mina.' You start to thrust in her hand while caress her face. She is stroking your cock while licking your tip, but the pace is really slow as she is too tired. You are enjoying the slow stroke which you seldom receive, while Mina keep moaning while Sana is edging her.

"Take your time Mina, enjoy yourself. You've worked so hard." I say while i give her forehead a kiss.

Ah, Minari gonna cummmm!' Mina arch her body and squirts on Sana again before she pass out. Mina is already unconscious but her body still shakes unconsciously. Her hand falls down and stop jerking you.

Sana gets up and says,' Seems I bring more fun to your secretary, is it my turn now?' Sana licks Mina's squirt on her face and start jerks you off.

"Fine," I start facefucking Sana again. "You should really learn to follow my instructions, Sana." I hardly let her breath as I continue to chastise her.

You face fucking Sana, and every time you thrust in you reach her deep throat, Sana's saliva is dripping from her mouth as she is hard to breath. She looks at you with a watery eye, make you turned on even more.

Sana signaling she can take more, as she starts to massage your ball and lick your underside You grab her hair and thrust more fiercely, until she give up to resist.

I hold Sana to the base of my cock. "This is what you like Sana? Being used like a fuck toy?" I say to her. Before she can I answer I ram my cock into the back of her throat as I continue to face fuck her.

Sana did not resist again, her hands just holding your thigh, letting you fuck her mouth more easily.

'Oh, my slut, take your reward.' You thrust a few more times before you cum in her mouth. The amount of cum is too much and she can't swallow it all, the cum mixed with her saliva is dripping from her mouth, she holds the dripping cum with her hands and looks at you seductively.

'The most important thing is we all are having fun, right?' She is breathing heavily, want to get all the oxygen she missed when you are face fucking her.

"I guess I should let you rest." I say to her while i start to pull up my pants.

'You sure you are enough of just using our mouth? You haven't put it in today.' Sana is grinding your cock while caressing your neck.

'Come on boss, we can do something naughty, it's so rare that Mina is not here right?' Sana grabs your hands on her tits, 'I know you want me too, boss.'

"Fine" I reply as I try to undo my pants.

'Thank you, boss, let me do it for you.' Sana kisses your cheek and stands up a little, just barely removing your pants. She immediately sits down on your lap again, and starts rubbing your cock with her clit.

'So hot, boss, I can feel it.' Sana slowly increases the pace of rubbing and kissing you with her tongue.

I stand up and bend her over my desk. I’ll rub against her pussy a few times before I ram myself into her asshole.

You tease Sana by rubbing her clit again until she surrenders. 'Please, give me your cock, boss I need it.' 'Here it is, Sana.' You then thrust all in, but in her ass.

'Sir, wrong hole, you enter the wrong hole.' Sana screams when you enter her ass, it is tight but not as Mina's, perhaps she has tried anal before, so she quickly adopts the cock in her ass even you did not stop for her.

Her moan changes from pain to pleasure. 'OH, boss, it feels good, faster please.' Sana moans your name while rubbing her clit.

I make sure to be very rough with Sana, pulling her hair as I impale her with every thrust.

You pull Sana's hair while you are fucking her, forcing her to arc, taking deeper thrusts from you.

' Such a slut, don't you. So desperate for my cum in your pussy huh?' You spank her ass with another free hand. 'Yes, boss, I am a slut that only live for your cum, please cum in my pussy.'

Sana is excited by your humiliation, she fingers herself faster and she reaches her orgasm, squirting all over your lower body. 'Ah, so excited, boss. I love it.'

Her ass becomes tighter and starts to milk you, you stop spanking, instead, you hold her ass cheek to fix her position so you could fuck her easier, chasing your own orgasm.

Sana feels you are going to cum, 'No, boss, cum in my pussy, please, I need it so much. Fill your cum slut, I am forever yours.'

"That’s right you're my cum slut, and you'll take my cum wherever i put it." I tell her as I continue to fuck her ass until I cum in it.

'No, boss, no!' Sana screams as you cum in her ass, she trying to leave but you can grab her ass so tight, she could just lay on the table and feel your cum pumb inside her ass.

'Why, boss... I will feel much better if it's in my pussy.' Sana looks a bit disappointed but still excited from the pleasure that you give her.

You pull out from her ass and hear you hear a pop sound, you raise her ass, prevent the cum leaks out and then get a butt plug from your drawer, 'It's supposed for Mina, but seems you deserve it more, my cum slut.' Sana moans again when you plug in the plug.

"I'll have to get Mina another one" I think to myself. I slap Sana's ass one more time "now get to work Sana."

'Ah, boss I will cherish your cum in my ass and let you check again after work.' Sana struggle to wear her ruined clothes and slowly walks to the door.

Her panties are in your hand again, 'Perhaps I can have a locker to store the panties she gives me every time.' You wonder.

Suddenly you hear Sana screams, 'Why are you here?' You look at the door, Tzuyu is smirking and stands along the door. 'Mr Y/N, I don't expect you are such a horny guy and start playing just in the morning.'

“I have the energy for it. Besides your boss seemed rather happy touching you during breakfast so I wouldn’t be talking.”

'I have told him countless time not to do that, but seems he just can't resists me. May I take a seat?' Tzuyu sits on the sofa before you can answer.

Tzuyu admires Mina's naked body, even twist her nipple, 'Seems the session is so intense. Mr. Y/N, is it your only job duty is to use your subordinate like this?' Tzuyu stops her hand and turns her head to Sana, 'Oh, lady, if you are too tired from the sex, you can take a seat too, come here." Tzuyu pats the seat next to her on the sofa.

"Of course not, Mina and I worked to catch up on all our missed work. Now care to explain what you're doing here? "

'Spending extra time to chase the losing progress as you are too busy to fuck your secretary is a thing that you proud of? Honestly, I'm quite disappointed a top team leader would say something like this.' Tzuyu stands up and ready to leave your room.

'Oh yes, I come to ask why you would want me join your team, Mr. Y/N. Originally I am quite interested, but no more for now, if all of your team members' s duties are having sex with you.'

"Our loss of progress had nothing to do with our having sex. I had a personal problem yesterday. You seem to think you’re better, but if my team is still out doing yours when we have this going on it shows your team is much more lacking. So get out, I don't wouldn't want anyone that disrespectful on my team."

'Even a brainless know that old man can't lead him team properly, but what else can I do as an intern? Well, I guess I can find another team after I get a permanent job easily with my GPA. Who knows the future? I guess I will leave now, take your time, Mr. Y/N, and this lady.'

"Right" i close the door behind her. "Good riddance"

'Boss, what is that intern talking about? Do you know her?' Sana looks at you confusingly. 'I used to thought you like to fuck her too, when you ask me about her last time.'

"She saw us fucking a while ago" I tell Sana.

'Boss, she saw us already when you ask me about her last time?' Sana looks calm,' Is she blackmailing you or what? I don't understand what she is doing.'

"No she's not, but it's better to have control over a situation."

'Boss, maybe we should get her in our team, so we can control it easier. Don't you remember the gossip about you and Mina? Maybe she is the one that spreads it out. I know Mina is really not happy about it.'

"Yeah, we tried that, but he wanted Mina in exchange, and I'm not doing that."

'How about we directly talk to the intern, peacefully, not like what just happen, if she could agree with us, we can handle it easily.'

'Or you can use me to exchange maybe, I guess her boss won't do anything to me.'

"No, he definitely would, Sana, he definitely would. So, we'll have to try the other method."

'Boss, are you caring about me huh? I am not pure as Mina, I can protect myself. Just tell me if you need me for exchange.' Sana sits on your lap again and looking at you.

"Fine but it'll be a last resort. You're still a member of my team and I don't want anything happening to you." I tell Sana "Let's just finish our work for today. Can you clean up Mina and dress her?"

'Sure, boss.' Sana gets some tissue and goes clean Mina who is still sleeping on the sofa. 'Such a nice body, Mina' Sana plays with Mina's tits while cleaning her face.

You start your work again, and you suddenly hear some moan, it's from Mina. You turn around and find that Sana is licking Mina's clit, Mina moans in unconscious, 'Ah, faster...'

"Sana! I said to clean her up and put her clothes on. Stop that."

'Boss, I am cleaning her pussy. What's the problem?' Sana stops her teasing, getting some clothes to cover Mina's body.

'I'll back to work now, call me if you need anything from me.' Sana blows you a kiss before she leaves.

[bloodysword63]

Becoming One Of The Dudes...

Jack was not in the mood to deal with anybody's bullshit today especially the guys that were watching him as he walked across the common area at the university. He was tall, thin and was going to college for a degree and not figure out how many women he could pick up on the weekend.

"Dude!" one of the guys he was trying to avoid called out but Jack kept walking.

"Hey! JACK! I'm fucking talking to you you little shit!" the guy said for the second time and Jack grumbled and turned to look. "Come on over here Jack... don't be scared!"

Jack rolled his eyes and looked quickly at his phone. He could just turn and walk away but decided what the fuck. He sighed and walked over to the four guys who were more interested in the gym than actually learning anything in the classroom.

"Yeah?" Jack asked disinterested. "What do you want Mike?"

Mike, who was one of the backup linemen for the college football team, smiled and said, "I was just wondering if you could help me with studying for the exam next week. Without a good grade, I'm going to be dropped from the team."

"Well, if you actually did the assignments and read what you needed to read, then you wouldn't have a problem with your grades now would you?" Jack replied.

Mike stood up and glared down at Jack and could feel his muscles flex. For a moment, Jack felt drawn to Mike not only for the feeling of power coming from him but the desire to be just another one of the guys. "Listen you little shit..." Mike said before of the other guys also on the football team interjected. "Mike, relax will you?" he said.

Jack felt weird for a moment as was worried that he was about to become a bloody smear on the ground before Mike relaxed and grinned. "Sorry man... just we've got an important game this weekend and all the stress from that," Mike said. "I just need help and I know you're the one that can help me."

Jack looked at the other two guys with Mike and tried to remember their names. Tyler and James. Right. Tyler was the one who interrupted Mike's rage moment and James looked as thought he was on the poster child for muscle men everywhere.

Jack sighed and said, "Sure Mike. How about tomorrow night? Can you spare a few hours from the gym?"

Mike nodded and said, "Yep. Definitely can. No worries buddy."

Jack turned away and walked on not realizing that Mike and the other two were eyeing him as not a study partner but a new initiate into the muscle world.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

The following evening, Jack looked around his dorm room hoping that he had everything. Mike had offered the common room in his dorm as a place to study and Jack agreed. Most of the football players were in the same dorm which made it easy to keep an eye on everybody.

Jack walked over just after sunset and the stars were just coming out. He turned towards Mike's dorm and saw him standing outside the front door with a smile on his face. Jack walked up to him and said, "Evening Mike. Ready to cram for an exam?"

"If it's as bad as cramming for a game, not sure if I want to but I'm willing to try," Mike said as he opened the door to the dorm and motioned Jack inside.

A few minutes later Jack and Mike were sitting in the common room where Jack was going through the wonderful world of statistical analysis when Mike turned to Jack and asked, "Dude. Sorry if this is personal but have you always been this skinny?"

The question caught Jack off guard for a moment before he nodded. "I get it from my grandfather. He was tall and thin and no matter what I do, I can't gain much weight."

"Ever think about taking something?"

"You mean what... roids? Is that what you take? Jack asked looking at Mike.

"Roids? Nah. This is all natural work," Mike said as he flexed a bicep. "Well... not all natural."

"Supplements?" Jack asked. "Of course you would take supplements."

"Yeah, something like that," Mike responded with. "Give me a second. Be right back."

Mike got up from the table and Jack's heart raced for a moment. Although he considered himself straight, there was a part of him that was envious of what Mike had.

A minute later, Mike returned with a bottle of what was white pills. "Here," Mike said. "Take one of these before you go to bed and see how you feel in the morning. It's something I took when I was first starting out. I beat you it'll make you feel better."

Jack sighed and heard about the 'get muscles fast by taking a pill' fad that was always on the internet. He grabbed the bottle and sighed before putting them in his backpack.

"Can we get back to work?" Jack asked and Mike nodded.

Later that evening, Jack was sitting on his bed about ready to fall asleep when he saw the bottle in his backpack about ready to hit the floor. Jack got up and grabbed the bottle and walked over to the garbage can to throw it out but after a moment's hesitation he thought what could it hurt. If anything, he would feel sick for a day and go back to his normal nerd self.

Opening the bottle, he took the two pills that were inside and swallowed it. Jack looked at himself in the mirror and saw no instant changes. He went back to bed and laid down and went to sleep.

The following morning, Jack woke up with a groan. Something was different for sure. He sat up and looked down at his body and there was definitely something strange. His pajamas were tighter than normal and just moving felt strange like he had gained a few pounds overnight.

Getting up, Jack went into the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. What looked back at him was somebody he didn't recognize. His face looked more mature, his hair seemed to be fuller but the biggest change was that he had actually had muscle on his tall frame. Not football level muscle but definitely some muscle. Thinking this was a dream, Jack shook his head and smacked himself a few times.

Looking back in the mirror, Jack laughed and realized that it was real. What the fuck were those pills that Mike had given him? And where the fuck could he get more?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"How did it go?" Tyler asked Mike the same morning Jack realized that his body was changing for the better.

"Just like we had planned," Mike replied. "I'm sure Jack will be calling me shortly."

At that moment his phone rang and Mike grinned when he saw it was Jack. "Morning Jack," Mike said. "How are you?"

On the other end of the phone, Jack said, "We need to talk. Now."

Mike looked at Tyler and nodded. "Yeah. Come over to the dorm," Mike said.

A few minutes later, Mike saw Jack and immediately saw the difference that the former nerd who would be a jock soon had been after two pills.

"What were in those fucking pills?" Jack asked as he looked at Mike. "What the hell dude?"

Mike grinned. "I thought you needed to be shown a new way to look at like," he said. "And I'm sure those pills did it for you didn't they?"

After a moment, Jack nodded. "If this is what two pills did, what would happen if I took more?" he asked almost like a drug addict looking for his next fix.

"That's not how this works," Mike said. "Those pills are just the first step. The next step requires a bit more... commitment."

"Commitment?" Jack asked. "What the hell does that mean?"

Mike smiled and said, "The next step you need to take is from the source." Mike went to lower his pants but waited for Jack to realize what was about to happen.

Jack took a step back and frowned. "No... no... I'm not..." he said in a moment of hesitation. He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned and saw Tyler standing there as well.

"We all committed ourselves Jack," Tyler said. "If you want to become a man, you need to do this."

For a moment, Jack could almost hear in the back of his head a protest but Jack realized that all his life this was what he wanted. He wanted to be tough, he wanted to be strong and there was no other way to obtain it.

Mike dropped his pants and knew that his cock was solid and thick and ready to give Jack the gift of jockification. It was how it happened a year ago when Mike was given the gift by his mentor. And now he was going to give it to Jack.

Jack fell to his knees and opened his mouth. The moment Mike's cock hit his mouth, Jack closed his eyes and embraced it. The feeling of belonging filled him with joy and when Mike ejaculated, Jack's entire mind exploded in joy. This was what he wanted. This is what he needed.

After Mike was done, Jack looked up at his mentor and smiled. "That was amazing..." he whispered as he realized that his cock was solid and thick. Without thinking Jack stood up and dropped his pants and looked at Mike. Mike grinned as Tyler watched on as Jack's cock filled Mike's mouth and the process continued.

For Jack, as soon as Mike's cum hit his tongue, the transformation that he had gone through overnight continued to progress. Over the next few hours as Jack's body and mind adjusted to his newfound life, Mike and Tyler watched on with grins on their faces.

Finally, just after noon, Jack finally felt like himself again. He grinned and looked at his new best friends and said, "Thank you" in a deeper voice than he could have possibly imagined. "Thank you for giving me life," he said.

Mike grinned and replied, "Welcome to the brotherhood Jack. Glad you could join us."

As Jack walked back to his dorm room, he could see people looking at him as he realized his life had changed for the better.

[elryuse]

Fond Of You

Danielle X Male Reader

Tags : Female Boss, Co-worker Sex, Romance, Kisses, Dirty Words, Risky, Public Sex, Teasing

Words : 3,920 Words

“What are you doing?” Danielle’s voice cut through the dimly lit hotel room, her tone sharp but laced with something else—something softer, like she already knew the answer.

I froze, halfway to the couch, a pillow clutched in my hands. “I-uh... I was just going to sleep here. On the couch. You know, so you could have the bed.”

She crossed her arms, her piercing gaze locking onto mine. The rain outside hammered against the windows, a relentless rhythm that matched the pounding in my chest. “Don’t be ridiculous. That couch is a death sentence for your back. You’re sharing the bed.”

“Danielle, I can’t—”

“You will,” she interrupted, her voice firm but not unkind. “It’s just one night. We’re adults. We can handle it.”

I swallowed hard, my throat suddenly dry. Handle it? That was the problem. I wasn’t sure I could. Not with her.

It had been a hell of a day. The kind of day where everything that could go wrong, did. The project deadline had been moved up, and Danielle had been in full boss mode—demanding, exacting, and utterly captivating. She always was. Her presence commanded the room, her sharp wit and even sharper eyes cutting through any flimsy excuses. I admired her. Hell, I’d had a crush on her for as long as I could remember. But it was more than that. It was the way she pushed me, believed in me, even when I didn’t believe in myself. She made me want to be better.

But tonight, after hours of overtime and a torrential downpour that flooded the streets, we found ourselves stranded. The office was empty, and neither of us could get a cab or an Uber. The hotel down the street was our only option.

And now, standing in this room, the tension between us was thicker than the humid summer air outside.

Danielle sighed, running a hand through her dark, wavy hair. “Look, I’m not going to bite. Just... get in the bed.”

I hesitated, my mind racing. This was my boss. My boss. The woman who’d read me the riot act more times than I could count. The woman who made my heart skip a beat every time she walked into a room. The woman who, right now, was looking at me with an expression I couldn’t quite place.

“Okay,” I finally said, my voice barely above a whisper. I set the pillow back on the bed and climbed in, trying to keep as much distance between us as possible. The mattress dipped slightly as Danielle joined me, her warmth radiating across the small space.

For a long moment, neither of us spoke. The only sound was the rain outside and the faint hum of the air conditioner. My heart was pounding so loudly I was sure she could hear it.

“You’re really tense,” she said after a while, her voice softer now. “Relax.”

“I’m trying,” I muttered, staring up at the ceiling.

She turned onto her side, facing me. I could feel her gaze on me, even in the dark. “You know, you’re not as good at hiding it as you think you are.”

“Hiding what?” I asked, though I already knew the answer.

“How you feel about me.”

My breath caught in my throat. I turned my head to look at her, my eyes wide. “Danielle, I—”

Before I could finish, she leaned in and kissed me.

It was soft at first, tentative, like she was testing the waters. But when I didn’t pull away, when I kissed her back, her hand slid up to cradle my cheek, deepening the kiss. Her lips were warm, insistent, and everything I’d ever dreamed they’d be.

When we finally broke apart, I was breathless, my heart racing. “Danielle…”

“I’ve always wanted this,” she whispered, her eyes searching mine. “But I couldn’t… I couldn’t let myself.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m your boss. Because it’s complicated. Because…” She trailed off, her thumb brushing against my cheek. “Because I was scared.”

“Of what?”

“Of this. Of us.” She leaned in again, her lips brushing against mine as she spoke. “But I can’t fight it anymore. Not tonight.”

Her words sent a jolt of desire through me, and I pulled her closer, our bodies pressing together as our lips met again. This kiss was hungrier, more urgent, months—no, years—of pent-up longing finally breaking free.

Her hands slid down my chest, trailing over the fabric of my shirt before tugging it up. I helped her pull it off, her fingers immediately returning to explore my bare skin. Her touch was electric, sending shivers down my spine as she mapped every inch of me.

I reached for her blouse, my fingers fumbling with the buttons. She laughed softly, a sound that made my heart swell, and helped me undo them. When the fabric fell away, revealing her lace bra, I couldn’t help but stare. She was stunning.

“Like what you see?” she teased, her voice low and husky.

“You have no idea,” I murmured, leaning in to kiss her again. My hands moved to her back, unhooking her bra and letting it fall away. Her breasts were perfect, full and soft, and I couldn’t resist touching them, my thumbs brushing over her nipples until they hardened under my touch.

She moaned softly, her hips grinding against mine as I continued to explore her body. My hand slid down her stomach, slipping beneath the waistband of her skirt. She was already wet, her arousal evident as my fingers found her clit.

“God, you’re so wet,” I whispered against her lips.

“For you,” she breathed, her hips bucking against my hand. “Always for you.”

Her words ignited something primal in me, and I moved down her body, trailing kisses along her skin until I reached her panties. I hooked my fingers into the waistband and pulled them down, tossing them aside before spreading her legs. Her pussy was glistening, and I couldn’t resist the urge to taste her.

I pressed my tongue to her clit, eliciting a sharp gasp from her. Her hands tangled in my hair, holding me in place as I began to lick and suck, savoring the way she tightened around me with every stroke.

“Oh my god,” she moaned, her hips lifting off the bed as I pushed two fingers inside her. She was tight, her walls clenching around me as I curled my fingers, searching for the spot that would make her scream.

When I found it, she arched off the bed, a loud cry escaping her lips. “Yes! Right there, right there!”

I continued to work her with my fingers and tongue, her pleasure building until she came with a shuddering cry, her body trembling with the force of her orgasm.

But she wasn’t done. As soon as she caught her breath, she pushed me onto my back, straddling my hips. Her hand wrapped around my cock, stroking me as she positioned herself over me.

“I want you inside me,” she whispered, her eyes locking onto mine. “I’ve always wanted you.”

She sank down onto me, her tight heat enveloping me as she took me in inch by inch. I groaned, my hands gripping her hips as she began to move, riding me with a slow, deliberate rhythm that drove me wild.

Her breasts bounced with every movement, and I reached up to cup them, squeezing and teasing her nipples until she moaned. Her pace quickened, her hips rolling against mine as she chased her pleasure.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” I groaned, my hands moving to her ass, giving it a sharp smack.

She yelped in surprise, but the look in her eyes was pure desire. “Do it again,” she demanded, her voice breathless.

I obliged, spanking her again and again as she rode me, each slap driving her closer to the edge. When she finally came, her body shuddering with the force of her orgasm, I couldn’t hold back any longer.

With a groan, I thrust up into her, my release crashing over me as I filled her. She collapsed onto my chest, both of us panting as we came down from our high.

For a long moment, we just lay there, tangled together, the sound of our breathing the only noise in the room. Finally, Danielle lifted her head, a soft smile on her lips.

"I’ve always wanted this," she whispered, her fingers tracing lazy patterns on my chest. "But now that I have it, I don’t ever want to let it go."

I smiled back, my heart full. "You don’t have to."

She leaned in for another kiss, slow and sweet this time. But as the kiss deepened, I could feel the heat building between us again. Her hand slid down my chest, her fingers wrapping around my cock, already hardening under her touch.

"Looks like someone’s ready for round two," she teased, her voice low and sultry.

I groaned, my hips bucking into her hand. "You’re insatiable."

She smirked, shifting her body so she was straddling me once more. "You have no idea."

And as she sank back down onto me, I knew this night was far from over.

She leaned forward, her lips brushing against my ear as her breath sent shivers down my spine. “You’ve been such a good boy for me,” she purred, her voice dripping with temptation. Her hips rocked gently, her wet pussy teasing the tip of my cock, barely letting me in before pulling back. The sensation was maddening, every inch of me begging for more.

“Danielle,” I groaned, my hands gripping her thighs, trying to guide her down onto me. But she resisted, her smirk widening as she looked down at me with those fiery eyes.

“Patience,” she whispered, her voice teasing. “I want to savor this. I want to savor you.”

Her words sent a jolt of electricity through me, my cock twitching beneath her. She shifted her hips again, this time letting me feel the warmth of her entrance, the slickness of her arousal coating me. But just as I thought she’d finally let me in, she pulled back, her laughter soft and teasing.

“Danielle, please,” I begged, my voice strained.

She tilted her head, her fingers trailing down my chest. “Please what?” she asked, her tone innocent, but her eyes were anything but.

“I need to be inside you,” I said, the words coming out in a rush.

Her smile was wicked as she leaned in closer, her lips just inches from mine. “Say it again,” she whispered.

“I need to be inside you,” I repeated, my voice trembling with need.

“Good boy,” she murmured, finally lowering herself onto me, my cock sliding into her wet, tight pussy inch by agonizing inch. I gasped, my hands tightening on her thighs as she took me in completely, her moan mingling with mine.

She moved slowly at first, her hips rocking in a deliberate rhythm, each movement sending waves of pleasure through me. Her nails dug into my chest as she leaned back, her head tipping back as she let out a soft moan. “So good,” she breathed, her voice filled with satisfaction.

I couldn’t take it anymore. My hips bucked up into her, setting a faster pace as I thrust into her, the sound of our bodies meeting filling the room. She cried out, her fingers tangling in the sheets as she rode me with abandon, her pussy squeezing me tightly.

“Fuck, Danielle,” I groaned, my hands moving to her hips, guiding her movements as we found a rhythm that drove us both wild. Her moans grew louder, her body trembling as she got closer to the edge.

“Don’t stop,” she pleaded, her voice desperate. “I’m so close.”

I didn’t want to stop. I wanted to make her come undone, to feel her clench around me as she fell apart. My thumb found her clit, rubbing it in tight circles as I thrust into her, the combination driving her over the edge.

Her scream echoed through the room as she came, her pussy tightening around me as wave after wave of pleasure washed over her. I followed her soon after, my own climax hitting me hard as I spilled inside her, my body shaking with the intensity of it.

We stayed like that for a moment, both of us catching our breath as the aftershocks of our orgasms faded. Finally, she leaned down, her lips brushing against mine in a soft, lingering kiss.

“That was amazing,” she whispered, her voice filled with awe.

I smiled, my hands moving to cradle her face. “You’re amazing,” I said, my voice filled with adoration.

She chuckled, a playful glint in her eyes as she shifted off of me, lying down beside me. “You’re not so bad yourself,” she teased, her fingers tracing patterns on my chest.

I turned to look at her, my heart swelling with affection. “I’ve always wanted this,” I admitted, my voice soft.

“Me too,” she confessed, her eyes meeting mine. “I’ve wanted you for so long, but I didn’t know if you felt the same way.”

“I do,” I said, cupping her cheek. “I’ve always felt it.”

She smiled, her hand covering mine. “Then let’s not waste any more time,” she said, her voice filled with determination.

I grinned, pulling her closer as I kissed her deeply, our bodies melding together as we lost ourselves in each other once more. She moaned into the kiss, her hands roaming over my body, igniting the fire between us all over again.

Her lips trailed down my neck, her teeth nipping at my skin as she moved lower, her tongue flicking over my nipple, making me gasp. “Danielle,” I breathed, my cock already hardening again.

She looked up at me, her eyes dark with desire. “I’m not done with you yet,” she said, her voice a sultry promise.

She shifted between my legs, her lips wrapping around the tip of my cock, her tongue swirling around it as she tasted me. I groaned, my hands tangling in her hair as she took me deeper, her mouth a hot, wet heaven around me.

“Oh fuck,” I moaned, my hips bucking into her mouth as she sucked me with a rhythm that threatened to drive me out of my mind. Her hands gripped my thighs, her nails digging into my skin as she took me to the edge, her moans vibrating against my cock.

“Danielle, I’m gonna—” I started, but she pulled back, a mischievous smile on her lips.

“Not yet,��� she said, climbing back up to kiss me, my cock trapped between our bodies as she ground against me.

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” I groaned, my hands gripping her hips as she moved against me.

She laughed, her fingers tracing my lips. “But what a way to go,” she teased, her hips rocking in just the right way to make me see stars.

I flipped her over, my body covering hers as I kissed her deeply, my cock sliding into her pussy again, both of us gasping at the sensation. She wrapped her legs around me, her nails scratching down my back as I thrust into her, our bodies moving together in perfect harmony.

“You feel so good,” she moaned, her voice filled with pleasure.

“So do you,” I said, my voice strained as I buried myself deeper inside her.

Her moans grew louder, her body trembling as she got closer to the edge once more. I felt her pussy clench around me, her orgasm hitting her hard as she cried out, her body arching against mine.

I followed her soon after, my own climax hitting me with such intensity that I thought I might pass out from the pleasure. We clung to each other, our breaths mingling as we came down from the high, our bodies still joined.

Finally, she looked up at me, her eyes filled with a tenderness that made my heart ache. “This is just the beginning,” she whispered, her voice filled with promise.

But before I could respond, her lips found mine again, her kiss filled with a passion that left me breathless. Her nails grazed down my back, sending shivers through me as she whispered against my lips, “I’m not done with you yet.”

The room was still filled with the heavy scent of sex, our bodies tangled together on the bed, slick with sweat and satisfaction. Danielle’s fingers traced idle patterns on my chest, her breath warm against my skin. Her nails dragged lightly, sending shivers down my spine every time they grazed over a sensitive spot. I could feel her heartbeat, steady but still slightly elevated, pressed against me. She tilted her head up, her fiery eyes meeting mine, and that smirk—the one that always made my stomach twist—played on her lips.

“You’re thinking too much,” she murmured, her voice low and teasing. Her fingers trailed lower, dancing over my stomach, and I felt my body react instinctively. She chuckled softly, the sound vibrating through my chest. “Always so eager, aren’t you?”

I swallowed hard, my voice coming out rougher than I intended. “You’re hard not to be eager for.”

Her smirk widened, and she shifted, propping herself up on one elbow. Her hair fell over her shoulder, framing her face, and she leaned in closer, her lips brushing against my ear. “Good answer,” she whispered, her breath hot against my skin. “But I think I want more than just eager. I want you desperate.”

Her hand slid lower, wrapping around my cock, and I groaned, my hips bucking reflexively. She laughed again, a low, sultry sound that sent heat pooling in my gut. “Not yet,” she teased, her grip tightening just enough to make me ache. “I have other plans for you.”

Before I could ask what she meant, she pulled away, sliding off the bed with a grace that left me breathless. She turned to face me, her eyes gleaming with mischief, and my gaze raked over her body—the curve of her hips, the way her breasts moved with every breath, the faint marks I’d left on her skin earlier. She was perfection, and the way she looked at me made it clear she knew it.

“Come here,” she said, her voice soft but commanding. She didn’t wait for me to move, though; she reached out, her fingers curling around my wrist, pulling me to my feet. My body followed hers eagerly, my cock throbbing as she led me toward the balcony doors. The curtains were still drawn, the rain outside barely a whisper now, but the air was cool and damp.

She turned to me, her back pressed against the glass, and her hands slid up my chest, her nails scratching lightly. “You’ve always been so good for me,” she murmured, her voice dripping with temptation. “Always so obedient, so willing to follow my lead. I like that about you.”

I swallowed hard, my hands finding her hips, pulling her closer. “I’d do anything for you,” I admitted, the words slipping out before I could stop them.

Her eyes darkened, and she tilted her head, her lips brushing against mine. “Prove it,” she whispered. “Let me ride your cock on the balcony.”

My breath hitched, and my grip on her hips tightened. “Danielle—” I started, but she cut me off with a kiss, her lips fierce and demanding. Her tongue slid against mine, and I groaned, my hands moving to cup her ass, lifting her slightly. She broke the kiss, her chest heaving as she stared at me, her eyes filled with a mix of desire and challenge.

“Do it,” she ordered, her voice leaving no room for argument. “Fuck me where anyone could see us. Show me how much you want me.”

The idea sent a jolt of electricity through me, and I hesitated for only a moment before I lifted her fully, her legs wrapping around my waist. She gasped, her hands gripping my shoulders as I carried her to the balcony, the cool night air hitting our skin as I pushed the door open. The rain had stopped, but the air was still damp, the city lights glittering below us.

I set her down on the railing, her hands gripping the edge as she leaned back, her body open and inviting. She looked up at me, her eyes filled with a hunger that matched my own, and she spread her legs wider, her pussy glistening in the dim light. “Take me,” she whispered, her voice trembling with need.

I didn’t need to be told twice. I stepped forward, my cock sliding between her folds, and she moaned, her head falling back. I gripped her hips, positioning myself, and slowly pushed inside her, her warmth enveloping me in the most intoxicating way. She gasped, her nails digging into my arms as I filled her completely, and I paused, savoring the way her body clenched around me.

“God, you feel so good,” she moaned, her voice breathless. “Fuck me, baby. Make me yours.”

I didn’t need any more encouragement. I started to move, my hips thrusting into her with a rhythm that made her cry out, her body arching against mine. Her breasts bounced with every movement, and I leaned down, capturing one nipple in my mouth, sucking hard. She moaned louder, her hands tangling in my hair, pulling me closer.

The sound of her pleasure, the way her body moved with mine, the way she clung to me like she never wanted to let go—it was all too much, and I felt my orgasm building, the pressure in my gut coiling tighter and tighter. But I wasn’t ready to let go yet. I wanted to make her come first, to hear her scream my name as she fell apart.

I shifted slightly, angling my hips to hit that spot inside her that made her see stars, and her breath hitched, her body tensing. “Yes,” she gasped, her nails digging into my back. “Right there.”

I kept the pace steady, my thrusts deep and deliberate, and I felt her pussy tighten around me, her walls fluttering as she got closer to the edge. Her moans grew louder, more desperate, and she pulled my hair hard, forcing me to look up at her. Her eyes were filled with pure, unbridled desire, and she licked her lips, her voice trembling as she begged, “Make me come, baby. I need to come.”

That was all it took. I reached between us, my thumb finding her clit, and I pressed down hard, circling it quickly. She screamed, her body arching off the railing as her orgasm hit her, her pussy clenching around my cock so tightly it almost hurt. I groaned, my own climax crashing over me, and I buried myself deep inside her, spilling myself into her with a force that left me trembling.

We stayed like that for a moment, our bodies pressed together, our breaths mingling as we came down from the high. Finally, I pulled back, carefully lifting her off the railing and carrying her inside. She wrapped her arms around my neck, her face buried in my shoulder, and I could feel her smile against my skin.

“You’re amazing,” she whispered, her voice soft and filled with affection. “But I’m not done with you yet.”

I chuckled, my hands tightening around her as I carried her back to the bed. “Neither am I.”

[spider-mancan]

norman is a controlling piece of shit but harry was Peter's friend when no one else would be. seeing Harry's health decline so suddenly leaves such a sour taste in Peter's -- almost as sour as the way norman osborn's unwanted compliments. you're such a smart boy, Peter. so hardworking, so motivated, so healthy. not like harry. he never recovered after his mother died, mentally. lost a piece of himself.

privately, Peter thinks harry lost a part of himself a long time ago, and it's something norman cut away and keeps in his bedside drawer like a trophy.

when Norman gives Peter an ultimatum, Peter can't say he's surprised. what's surprising is the terms.

seduce Tony Stark. beautiful boy like you, just like he likes. You can do it. might even get a bag out of it, too. i know things are tough. speaking of, how is May doing, lately? just make Tony loose enough to spill a secret or two, and maybe harry will just...miraculously recover.

and Peter does it. he flutters his eyelashes and lets Tony fuck him in a public bathroom at some fancy event. he lets Tony cover him in diamonds. he sleeps in Tony's bed. he kisses Tony, laughs with him, feeds him. sneaks files on a flashdrive and then lets Tony fuck him over the kitchen counter.

he feels dirty and horrible. he thinks Tony might be the best man he's ever met, and he tells him so.

Tony tells him he doesn't seem the sort to be a sugar baby. peter doesn't tell him he lost his virginity in a public bathroom at a fancy event.

peter tells norman about the repulser and suddenly Harry is more lucid than he's been in months. Tony buries himself in Peter's body and Peter pets his hair and shakes himself to pieces.

"i love you."

I'm sorry. I love you.

Peter is sloppy, tips his hand. he's escorted off the premises by security. the last thing he sees is Tony, impassive and impressive in his three piece suit, hands in his pockets, jaw clenched. then the doors of stark tower slide shut and Peter is as free as he's going to be.

harry gets worse. Norman sends him away to Europe for treatment that won't work, but maybe harry will be happier. Norman can't blackmail Peter with something that's already public, and Tony doesn't press charges even as Peter waits for the sirens outside his door.

three months later, Peter works for Norman like a dog and Tony shows up at his door like a whirlwind, all wild eyes. he wants to know why Peter did it. he wants to know if any of it was real.

peter closes the door in his face.

Tony keeps talking to the door, because he knows Peter is standing on the other side trying to make himself walk away. why, how, who. who was it that was in my bed? was he real, even a little? it doesn't make sense. None of it makes sense.

Tony stays for over an hour. Norman seems particularly smug when Peter brings him his coffee in the morning. maybe he just likes the idea of Tony Stark on his knees. maybe he likes that he's the reason Peter left Tony on the doorsteps. he never liked Harry and he likes Peter too much. Peter thinks Norman might be the worst person he's ever met, and he has to look himself in the mirror everyday.

harry likes Europe, at least.

when news breaks that norman osborn has been running inhumane studies and fishing his books, that he killed his wife, that he is well on his way to killing his son, that he's mentally unwell...Peter is on the subway. some of the biggest news of his life, and he finds out accidentally reading Twitter over someone's shoulder on the orange.

Tony is waiting for him when he gets out of the station. he's not sure how Tony knew where to find him. peter doesn't even remember where he had been going.

"i didn't want to."

I'm sorry. I love you.

Tony opens his arms and Peter is there before he understands what precious sort of thing is being offered. he's there before he realizes he started crying ten minutes before, still in the subway car. Tony is just there. he's there and he's forgiving Peter and Peter doesn't deserve it. not at all.

I'm sorry. I love you.

I love you. I love you.

"I love you, too." Tony might as well tell the whole world, the way he whispers it into Peter's hair. "God, kid. They gutted me when they took you away."

peter doesn't think he's been a full person in years. he shakes under the weight of it. like feeling gravity for the first time. "i don't know how to do this."

"a relationship? me, neither." Tony grins, his chin digging into the top of Peter's head. he won't let go, even a little, while the subway rush floods out onto the sidewalk. "can't be harder than corporate espionage."

peter laughs so hard he chokes, and Tony spins him around like he doesn't care about anything else, and Peter is horrible and human and he's okay, he'll be okay. he's free.

he's as free as he's ever been, and he's in love.

[miniscapes333]

Why Can’t They Resist You? (18+)

PICK A PILE READING LOVES ;)

👇 [PILE - 1] 👇[PILE - 2]

👆 [PILE - 3]

Disclaimer: The images featured are not mine. All credit and rights belong to their original creators.

PILE 1

Oh, darling, they can’t resist you because you’ve unlocked something deep in them something they’re trying to run from but can't help but chase. It's that tension, that tug between the push and pull that keeps them mesmerized. You’ve got them wrapped up in this whirlwind where they don’t know whether they want to fight it, give in to it, or burn everything down and rebuild from the ashes. The way you walk into a room, effortless in your energy, it’s like you’ve got the kind of confidence that cuts right through the noise, right through the walls they try to put up. They can feel that energy that heat that pull, but damn if they don't want to deny it. They might try to act indifferent or keep their distance, but the truth is, they can’t help but be drawn back to you. You make them question everything they’ve built, make them feel things they’d rather ignore, and it drives them wild in ways they can't quite put into words.

When they look at you, it’s more than just your physical presence that pulls them in. It’s that fire that you exude, that quiet power you hold, like you're the storm they can’t control. And it’s not even the way you smile, though that smile oh, god that smile does something to them. It’s in the way you move, in the confidence that exudes from every step, every gesture. It’s like you know exactly what you’re doing to them, and that's part of what gets under their skin. They can feel it, that simmering connection, that desire that you’ve sparked in them, even when they try to act like it’s not there. And let’s be honest, there's a vulnerability to it, too. When they back away, it’s not out of fear of you—it’s fear of what they might lose to you. They walk away, but they always look back, longing, wondering if they’ll ever get the courage to cross that line with you.

But the deeper truth they can't admit? They're afraid of you because you hold so much power over them. They’re used to being in control, used to being the ones who get to dictate the terms of attraction. But you? You flipped that script, and they can’t resist it. You’ve shown them something different, something they've never let themselves fully experience, and it’s terrifying. It’s thrilling. It’s something they’ve never been able to walk away from, even when they try to. And in those quiet moments, when they think they’ve pushed you away or distracted themselves, it’s your memory that haunts them the way your voice lingers in their mind, the taste of your presence in the air, the way they can still feel the heat of your touch, like you're burning a mark on their soul that no one else can erase. You’ve claimed them without even trying, and that’s why they can’t stay away.

PILE 2

Oh, sweetheart, they can't resist you because you've become their weakness a temptation too rich, too intoxicating to ignore. You’ve woven yourself into the fabric of their mind, and no matter how much control they think they have, you undo them with a single glance, a subtle shift in your posture, the way you carry yourself with an effortless kind of confidence. It makes them ache this need to claim you, to have you under their hands, to feel that electricity pulse through their fingertips when they get too close. They want to be the one who owns your attention, who earns your time, who gets to see the side of you that no one else does. And yet, there’s a hesitation, a deep-rooted uncertainty buried beneath their desire. You’re unpredictable, mysterious, slipping through their grasp just when they think they have you figured out. And that? That only makes them hungrier.

They find themselves watching you when they think you won’t notice, tracing the curve of your lips in their mind, remembering the way your voice lingers like smoke in the air. You’re a puzzle they can’t solve, a riddle that keeps them up at night, restless, replaying every interaction, every stolen moment where tension crackled between you like a storm waiting to break. And it bothers them, this obsession that gnaws at their control, this need that makes them reckless, desperate to know more, to see more, to touch God, to feel what it’s like to be the one standing beside you, owning that space in your world. They tell themselves they’re just curious, that it’s just an infatuation, but deep down? They know better. It’s you. It’s always been you. And they are losing to the weight of that realization.

But here’s the thing: you know. Oh, you know exactly what you're doing to them. You see the way their breath catches when you get too close, how they fight the urge to reach for you, to pull you in like you belong to them already. And maybe that’s what makes it all the more thrilling. The push and pull, the quiet battle of wills where they try to play it cool, try to act unaffected, when in reality, they are starving for you. They tell themselves they’ll be patient, that they’ll figure you out in time but patience wears thin, and fantasies only build. And when the moment finally comes, when that tension finally snaps? Oh, love, it won’t be soft. It won’t be careful. It will be everything they’ve been holding back, everything they’ve been too afraid to admit and once they’ve had you, once they’ve felt what it’s like to finally give in? There will be no going back.

PILE 3

Oh, they try, sweetheart. They try so hard to resist you. They tell themselves they have other things to focus on, bigger priorities, more important tasks to handle. But it’s laughable, really, because no matter how much they bury themselves in their work, their routine, their so-called discipline you are the distraction they can’t escape. You slip into their mind at the most inconvenient moments, derailing their focus, making them pause in the middle of whatever they’re doing just to imagine what it would be like to have you close, to feel your warmth, to drown in the sheer gravity of you. It’s almost frustrating, this pull you have over them, this ache that settles so deep it refuses to be ignored. They want to be careful, they want to be calculated, but their self-control is slipping, and every thought of you makes it harder to hold onto.

And the thing is, it’s not just about desire it’s about need. You make them question themselves, make them crave more than they’re ready to admit. They watch you, trying to figure out how you do this to them, how you make them feel so unsteady, so out of control. You are unpredictable in the best way, a force they didn’t see coming, and now? Now, they don’t know what to do with the fire you’ve ignited inside them. They think about you when they’re alone, when the world quiets down and there’s no one to distract them from the way you’ve infiltrated their every thought. They imagine what it would be like to pull you into their space, to hear you say their name in a way that belongs only to them. They tell themselves it’s nothing, just a passing fixation but they know that’s a lie. This isn’t something they can just shake off. This is you and there’s no getting rid of you now.

And you? Oh, you don’t make it easy for them, do you? You don’t even have to try your presence alone is enough to unravel them. The way you carry yourself, the way you look at them like you know exactly what’s going through their head it’s maddening. You are temptation wrapped in something far too alluring to ignore, and they are failing miserably at pretending they don’t want you. They hesitate, not because they don’t want to come closer, but because they know once they do, there’s no turning back. You have ruined them for anything less, and when they finally give in? Oh, sweetheart, it’s going to be everything slow, deliberate, consuming. Because resisting you was never really an option, was it?

Paid readings availabe - check them out here 🫶🏾

[separatist-apologist]

We Never Go Out Of Style

Could end in burning flames or paradise

Summary: When Gwyn breaks up with her boyfriend on the eve of Nesta's destination wedding, Nesta Archeron has only one objective: set Gwyn up with her high school crush.

Note: Based on this tweet from @heathermcwrites: "One of my bridesmaids just broke up with her bf who was supposed to come to my wedding & I was sad for her for about 3 seconds until I remembered that her crush will also be at the wedding (single) and I'm now more committed to this 2nd chance romance than to my own marriage."

"I should also note that this is a destination wedding so there are EVEN MORE opportunities for uh…shenanigans"

Read More: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | AO3

She needed to get Jonathon out before anyone else noticed him. Azriel seemed genuinely surprised, frozen in place beside her. What happened when his brain caught up to what was happening and did something they’d all regret. She pressed her hand to his chest, cognizant of the place they were in. 

The music thudded in time with her own panicked heartbeat. Jonathan was going to ruin whatever was blooming between her and Azriel before it ever had a chance to start. She wanted to sink into the floor and die.

“I’ll be right back!” she yelled over the music. Azriel nodded once, his eyes blazing with shadow even in the dark club. He clenched his jaw but didn’t move as Gwyn maneuvered through the bodies for Jonathon. He seemed so out of place in his skinny tie and his buttoned up shirt, better suited for an academic conference than a boozy night club. 

Jonathan seemed to think her hand on his chest was a positive sign. His fingers curled around her sweat slicked wrist, causing Gwyn to look over her shoulder. Azriel was still watching, though if he saw the point of contact, she couldn’t tell—it was simply too dark.

God, this was such a mess.

“Outside,” she demanded, her fury rising to match the fear she felt. He couldn’t just show up and demand she talk to him. They were over? Hadn’t someone taught him that no truly meant no? Apparently not.

Outside, a crescent moon hung far in the sky, framed by the few spackling of stars visible beneath the pollution of artificial light. The air felt good, and Gwyn, wrenching her wrist from his grip, pulled her hair up off her neck in an attempt to cool herself off.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, resisting the urge to shove him violently to the ground. Asshole!

“I needed to talk to you,” he said, running a hand through chestnut hair. “You…Christ, Gwyn, I was thinking about calling in a welfare check.”

Gwyn nearly exploded, turning in a half circle to keep herself from screaming on the busy sidewalk, where any number of tourists might also call in a welfare check. At least it would be deserved.

“Breaking up doesn’t require a trip to the psychiatric ward,” she snapped when she was able to face him. God, how had they spent so long together? Looking at him, half illuminated in the harsh orange fluorescent of the nearby street lamp, all Gwyn saw was an insecure man. A pathetic man.

A man she’d once loved. She tried to pull up even an ounce of that love to keep herself in check, but found only revulsion. That was going to make the confrontation between them difficult. It was only moments before that she’d been afraid of the violence Azriel might exact, but now she was afraid of her own capacity for violence.

“Go home,” she said, trying to keep her voice level. The last thing she needed was a scene. 

“No,” he replied, taking a step toward her. “Not—not until we talk.”

Gwyn threw her hands up in the air, her frustration mounting. “What is there left to say?” As far as she was concerned, she’d said everything she needed to when they’d ended things. 

“A lot,” he challenged. “Is there somewhere…else…we can go?” 

Gwyn looked upward at the stars, smoothing out her hair beneath nervous palms. It had been so easy to let him be the bad guy on this trip, but the fact of the matter was, she had interrupted his proposal to break up with him, blocked him, and had let Azriel spend nearly two weeks antagonizing him. Did she owe Jonathon an explanation? 

“Fine,” she agreed, stalking off in the dark for one of the many hammocks not too far out. She wasn’t going to sit in one, but it got them away from people who had phones at the ready where they could record whatever explosion was brewing and then slap it on the internet for views.

To his credit, Jonathan followed along without remarking on how much he detested tourist traps, resorts, or the flip flops someone was louding smacking against the pavement. 

“I asked you to marry me,” Jonathan blurted out, as if he couldn’t keep the words leashed for a moment longer. They’d only just reached the grassy courtyard, where the pavement branched toward all the differing buildings the resort housed. A playground stood empty in the distance, an empty swing swaying slightly from a phantom breeze. She could hear the nearby splash pad spraying water for children that would return in the morning, distracting her for a moment.

“I don’t want to get married,” she lied. Gwyn did—just not to Jonathon. 

“That…why?” he asked, his tone slipping into desperation. 

Gwyn was shaking her head before she’d formulated a response. “I…”

Jonathan seized on this, reaching for her hand to pull her closer. “We were perfect together. Everyone thought so. I…I envisioned a future for us, Gwyn. A family, even,” he added, though he’d never once mentioned children to her. He didn’t seem the type—his writing and research would always come first. 

For a moment, Gwyn was overtaken by an image of it all. She’d stay home, because of course she would. Taking care of their home, their children, their lives while he soldiered on. Perhaps he’d reach the level of fame and success he’d always dreamed of, and she’d become a footnote in the back of his book. Her life was far less glamorous—researching private schools and arranging playdates or pouring through cookbooks.

It wasn’t a bad life. It simply wasn’t the one she wanted for herself. 

“I don’t love you,” she told him, pulling out of his grasp as she shook her head once more. “Not like that, anyway.”

Pure pain flashed across his expression, leaving them both paralyzed by the silence. It was a brutal, yet truthful, thing to say. Gwyn wanted to cry all of the sudden, though she wasn’t sure why. Leaving him had felt like a weight being lifted from her very soul, replaced by a lightness that left her buoyant. Now, though, she felt those familiar chains, attached to a cinder block that threatened to bring her sinking back into despair. Guilt began clawing at her throat, demanding she say something else to erase that look on his face.

She wasn’t a cruel person by nature. 

“How do you just stop loving someone?” he asked her, his own voice strangled with emotion. “I don’t understand it.”

Neither did she. Gwyn shrugged helplessly, already drowning in her misery. He was ruining what was supposed to be a good night. Already, it seemed a million miles from her, distant and half forgotten in her hazy memories. Had Azriel truly asked her to be his girlfriend? And had she actually been happy about it? Gwyn didn’t think she’d ever been happy for a moment in her life.

“I can’t explain it,” Gwyn said, trying anyway. “But I knew, when you asked, that I couldn’t say yes.”

“We’ll go to counseling—” he tried, but Gwyn’s hand flew up, palm facing upward to stop him as she violently shook her head.

“You need to go home,” she said again, this time with more force. “I’m not going to change my mind. This is over. It was good, but…we were all wrong for each other and I think deep down, you know that’s the truth.”

It was his turn to shake his head, his desperation hardening into something angry. Something mean. “It’s that guy, isn’t it? Azriel.”

“He has nothing to do with any of this,” Gwyn said truthfully, though the snappish way she said it likely did her no favors. Who cared if Jonathan thought she was being honest or not. He was looking for something to latch onto—something that would explain why she hadn’t fallen into his arms after this grand gesture, or agreed to work on things. He simply wasn’t ready to accept things were over.

He’d make her a villain to all their mutual friends, and that irked her. Maybe that was unavoidable. That didn’t mean she liked it, or wasn’t going to defend herself. She hadn’t even known Azriel when she’d ended things, though she doubted Jonathan would care about that distinction. Was she rushing into things with Azriel, she wondered? She'd jumped from one relationship seemingly into another with practically no time to breathe. What had started as a fun fling felt like so much more, but viewing it from the eyes of a stranger, Gwyn wondered if she wasn't just grieving the loss of her relationship with Jonathan. Would she wake up one day and realize it was all a rebound? 

She wanted more than that from Azriel. 

“No?” Jonathan challenged, looking over her head. Gwyn turned, suppressing a groan. Azriel was walking toward her, Cassian and Rhysand trailing a few feet behind with drinks still in their hands. It was hard to take either of them seriously, especially as Cassian’s mouth attempted to find the pink, curly straw without looking down at his beverage.

“I have this handled,” she called behind her, because she did. 

Mostly. 

Azriel was going to make things worse. She could see, from the expressionless look on his face, that he didn’t think so. They hadn’t been gone that long. 

Jonathan was spoiling for a fight, and Gwyn didn’t need to be clairvoyant to know exactly how it would end. Azriel had the kind of hands that weren’t strangers to blood and bruises, but Jonathan wasn’t the fighting type. Had he imagined this scenario playing out as he’d flown down? Fighting for Gwyn’s honor, as if violence had ever once impressed her.

She was quick to get between them, arms thrown out. Azriel stood close enough her fingertips brushed his shirt. It was comforting, in a way, though she wished he wasn’t here to witness this humiliation. It would have been much better to tell him about it when they were both in bed together, and she’d had enough alcohol to find the whole thing funny. 

“Is this because of you?” Jonathan demanded, half shoving Gwyn out of the way. Azriel held up a finger, his eyes flashing a warning.

“Don’t put your hands on her,” he warned, his voice cool. 

“I’ll do whatever the fuck I want,” Jonathan replied, getting closer to Azriel. It was almost comical—Cassian chortled when he saw how much taller Azriel was in comparison to Jonathan. How much muscle Az had on her ex. It made Gwyn cringe—she knew where this was headed, a train wreck she both couldn’t stop or take her eyes off of. “Did she tell you she had a man? Or was that part of the fun?”

Azriel merely looked down at him, fingers flexing at his sides.

“Don’t,” Gwyn pleaded softly. Azriel’s gaze cut to her, jaw tilting upward in agreement. 

“You sound drunk,” Azriel said instead, doing his best to diffuse a situation that was practically begging for a violent altercation. “You should go home.”

“Why don’t you come with…ah, don’t do that,” Cassian called, but Jonathan shoved Azriel, which did nothing tangible. Azriel didn’t budge, though his expression darkened. Shadows seemed to curl around him while even the temperature of the air dropped just a little. Gwyn shivered, waiting for a blow that never came.

He’d said he wouldn’t. She exhaled. 

“Come on,” Gwyn whispered, slipping around Jonathan for Azriel. “Go home, Jonathan.”

“Fuck you, you…you bitch!” he yelled, his anger getting the better of him.

Everything happened too quickly to track after that. Azriel’s temper snapped, his fist colliding with Jonathan’s face. Gwyn screamed and Cassian swore as Jonathan crumpled, his skull bouncing off the pavement before he went still. For one horrible second, Gwyn thought Azriel must have killed him.

Jonathan groaned a moment later, still among the living, though his brain slightly scrambled.

“Don’t ever talk to her like that!” Azriel snarled, surging forward to hit him again. This time, both Cassian and Rhy dropped the drinks, the plastic cups clattering to the ground as they grabbed their friend by the arms to hold him back. Some voice she didn’t recognize started yelling as Gwyn looked upward at the sky.

Everything felt ruined.

And she had no one to blame but herself.

—

“How’d you sleep?” 

Azriel looked up from the cot in the Italian cell he’d spent the night in. Of course Jonathan wanted to press charges, though the Italian authorities didn’t seem to care too much, one way or the other. They couldn’t care that much if Cassian was bailing Azriel out on his wedding day.

He’d assumed he’d spend the day there.

“Fine,” Azriel lied. He’d slept like shit. Gwyn hadn’t looked at him in the aftermath, as if she couldn’t stand the sight of him. She’d spoken to the police softly before Nesta and Emerie had taken her away, arms slung over her slumped shoulders.

Azriel didn’t regret his actions, even if he’d hurt her. He didn’t blame her for being angry, though. She’d asked him not to, and he’d let his temper get the better of him. It was just…fuck. Azriel ran a hand through his hair, his thoughts replaying on a loop. She’d told him she wanted him—only him—and for a moment everything had been perfect. And then her ex appeared, dragging her off with him and all Azriel could think about was how she’d get back together with Jonathan.

Of course she would. Seeing the two of them together…he couldn’t explain it. He’d always thought himself better than Jonathan until he saw the man in person, put together and crisp in a way Azriel was never going to be. His insecurities had gotten the better of him, and with Cassian and Rhys in tow, he’d gone to see what they were discussing.

He’d almost gotten away with his girl in tow, his temper in check. It was hearing her called a bitch that set him off—it was Jonathan’s voice, but it might have been his fathers, hurling another insult at his mother. 

He hadn’t meant to retaliate. One minute he’d been seconds from slipping his hand into Gwyn’s and the next his knuckles ached and blood was splattered against his cheek. Azriel ducked his head, following Cassian out after signing himself out and collecting the few belongings that had been in his pocket.

“It’s your wedding day,” Azriel said, blinking against the bright, cheery sun.

“Yeah. Nesta’s pissed,” Cassian agreed cheerfully, nodding toward Rhys who was leaned up against a black sedan in a three piece suit. 

Azriel groaned.

“You owe me money,” Rhys said as if he’d ever try and collect it. “Get in. You look like hell.”

Azriel only sighed, sliding into the back of the air conditioned car. A plan was made, haphazard and yet doable—they’d rush back to the resort where Az would take a very short shower, dress himself, and be waiting in the lobby to head down to the beach before Nesta could grow any angrier. 

It left him no time to talk to Gwyn, which was the only thing Azriel wanted to do. He needed to tell her he was sorry…he needed to tell her a lot of things, if he was honest. The truth about his feelings, which hadn’t seemed terribly important when they were standing in the middle of a busy club. He regretted that, now. He should have taken her out of there and opened himself up.

Not that he had much experience in that realm. 

Azriel sprinted across the resort when they were dropped off in the circular drive, heart pounding. He didn’t expect to see Gwyn in their shared room, but also didn’t expect to find all her things were gone. The room was neatly made up, and his things were exactly where he’d left them. Hers, though, were gone. 

Azriel’s heart sank into his stomach. Trying his best not to think about the implications of her coming home alone, packing up all her belongings, and leaving, he showered quickly, shaved the stubble from his jaw, and flung on his suit which still hung in the closet. 

Rhys was waiting outside for him with a carefully neutral expression. “You good?” Rhys asked. It was an opening—Azriel could have been honest with his friend and said no, he wasn’t good. What was the point? He wasn’t going to chase Gwyn down across a continent like her last lover. If she was done, Azriel would walk away.

Even if the thought of it made his chest impossibly tight. As he followed Rhys, who remained blessedly silent after Azriel nodded his head that he was, indeed, good, Azriel tried to take deep, calm breaths. At least on the outside, Azriel hoped he projected calm indifference, even on this inside he was drowning in his anxiety.

There was no time to talk once they got in the lobby. Elain Archeron had taken over, shoving him into a line beside Emerie. Gwyn was walking with Rhys, draped in a silken, silvery blue dress that made his knees shake. She hadn’t looked at him, her gaze fixed on Emerie as she adjusted a loose curl around her friend's face. Gwyn looked just as good from behind, which soothed him only a little.

Look at me, he pleaded silently. She didn’t, shifting in her flat shoes and fussing with the clingy fabric that hugged the soft curves of her body, but never turned to look back at him. Azriel focused on the color of her hair, curled softly as it hung loosely down her exposed back. Sunlight gleamed against the cinnamon colored tresses, bringing out the rich hues of red and brown. He flexed his fingers at his side and waited for instruction. 

A beach wedding was, perhaps, not a choice Azriel would have made for himself. The wind whipped Nesta’s veil around her face and the waves made it difficult to hear anything the officiant said, even when Azriel stood close enough behind Rhys that they were nearly back to chest.

Sand poured into his shoes and even when the ceremony ended with Cassian dipping Nesta into a kiss, giving Az time to covertly shake out his shoe, he didn’t manage to dislodge any of it. Azriel tried to be happy for Cassian and Nesta—he was happy for them. Truly. Cassian deserved every good thing he got, and Nesta was his favorite addition to their little group. 

Gwyn vanished with Emerie and Nesta, appearing occasionally for group pictures before melting into the background again. Azriel tried to track her, but it was as if she’d found a way to step into the very air itself and hide from him.

It seemed an obvious answer to his question. A better man would have just cut his losses—it was a vacation romance, after all. What had he truly expected? The wedding was over, and they would all be packing and heading home in the coming days. Sure, he’d asked her to be his girlfriend, but maybe that didn’t mean much, either. Maybe Azriel had only ever been fooling himself, thinking what was happening between them was ever going to be more.

The reception was a mix of indoors and outdoors, held in one of the ballrooms the resort hosted. It was on the smaller side given the size of their party, with an open bar and a balcony that overlooked the glittering ocean. 

Azriel’s first point of business was a drink. Straight whiskey, no chaster, poured as a double in a glass as if he wasn’t about to drink it like a shot. Which he did—twice. He hadn’t eaten since the night before, and had barely slept, which was hardly anything new. Gwyn was doing her damndest not to make eye contact with him, and though Azriel knew a confrontation was brewing, he wasn’t quite drunk enough for it yet.

If she was going to end things, he wanted to be thoroughly numb when it happened. 

Azriel found Emerie dancing with Mor and dragged her away with what he hoped was a subtle nod of his head. Her smile slipped into a grimace that made his stomach lurch. 

“Hey Az,” she said, holding her shoes by one finger as she walked across the swirled, marble floors. Gwyn was nowhere to be seen, missing with Elain Archeron doing god knew what. 

He didn’t know what to say, hadn’t planned that far ahead which caused him to stand there helplessly, mouth half opened as he waited for eloquence to flow from his lips.

Emerie seemed to understand, reaching for his arm to squeeze gently. “Just give her some space, alright?”

Space. “Yeah,” he agreed, throat tight. That was the last thing Azriel wanted to give her. Every inch of him was on fire, screaming that he needed to just explain himself, which had never truly been his forte. Neither were relationships, though. How fitting that it would end before it ever truly began?

That was his luck.

Azriel tried to find some enjoyment during the wedding. He shared another drink with Rhysand and Cassian and danced when they asked him to, feigning joy as though he felt it. It was easy enough to put on a facade, slap a smiling mask on his face, and spin Feyre drunkenly around the room while Rhys glowered from his perch on the wall. Azriel had almost found peace with Emerie’s advice until he saw Gwyn slip out of the room for the hall. He followed silently, well aware she didn’t realize he was there until she pushed open the door of the single bathroom and he caught it just behind her.

“Az,” she breathed, swallowing like she was scared. Azriel stepped into the room with her, hand reaching for the knob behind him while she pressed further in. The women’s bathroom was nice. The men’s was fine, though it smelled faintly of urine, but in the womens there was a full length mirror, a plush red sofa, and a backlit mirror.

“I need to go to the bathroom—” 

“Just…” Azriel’s eyes closed when the door to the toilet closed. A better man would have taken that for what it was and walked away, but he knew if he didn’t tell her how he felt, he never would. He’d bottle it up and let it haunt him at night, like so many of his other past failures.

“I know I fucked up. I’m sorry, I…” he swallowed, certain he sounded drunk and too much like Jonathan for his liking. “He shouldn’t have called you a bitch.”

She opened the door, her own eyes suspiciously glassy while her cheeks and nose were bright red.

“I’m not mad,” she whispered, arms wrapped around her frame. Azriel’s blood went cold. “I just think…maybe I need to be alone for a while, Az. To figure myself out.”

“Figure yourself out,” he repeated. She was ending things, then. He wanted to die. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered as Azriel shook his head.

“Don’t be sorry,” he said, heart thundering loudly. “Take whatever time you need. I ah…I’ll be around if you ever…”

Fuck, he didn’t know. 

She nodded, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “I know.”

Azriel turned to leave, needing to breathe air that didn’t smell like her. He didn’t know what caused him to stop, the words tumbling from his lips before his brain managed to catch up.

“I’m in love with you, and I’ll wait,” he heard himself say, taking himself by surprise. A sharp inhale of air came from Gwyn, though he didn’t dare look back at her face. He was certain it would shatter him.

Azriel stepped out and took his own shaky breath of air.

It was time to go home.

[itsabouttimex2]

Oh! Can you rank macaque ships too?

69, shadowpuppet ect

Macaque Ship Ratings

(Scores rank from -10 at the lowest, and 10 at the highest)

(Sun Wukong)

Before reading this list, please keep in mind:

1. Not every ship has enough content for me to remark on, and some ships contain dynamics that I find triggering!

2. My social media usage is limited, and I don’t use every site.

3. I have not consumed every piece of artwork and fanfic in the fandom, so I’m just remarking on trends from what I have seen.

Shadowpuppet

Name Rating: 10/10. I’ll admit- this one is good! I like the reference to: Macaque’s powers, the Mayor’s status as a (willing) pawn of the LBD, Macaque’s status as a (sort of willing) pawn of the LBD, Macaque’s actual use of shadow puppetry… it’s a good name!

Canon Rating: -5/10. Look. C’mon. The Mayor and Macaque have literally no positive interactions at all, they have barely any screen time together regardless. Anything the Mayor does to Macaque is immediately harmful and he takes glee in it.

Fanon Rating: -3/10. In general you’ll notice a running trend that Fanon!Macaque in general is your generically rancid and one-note “He never did even a single bad thing ever at all!” that woobified villains tend to get, and Shadowpuppet goes hard on this trend by portraying Macaque purely through the lens of him being a flat and uninspired “eternal victim”- but it only gets a -3 because it is somewhat appropriate when the person in question genuinely is an awful person who has only ever hurt Macaque.

Personal Enjoyment: 0/10. Sorry, y’all. I just don’t see it.

Shadowpeach

Name Rating: 5/10. Basic, but rolls off the tongue. Started the trend of Sun Wukong having extremely basic ship names, unfortunately.

Canon Rating: 0/10. Whatever they had in the past, Macaque simply treats Wukong far too awfully to really justify the two of them ever getting together. Even the attempts at reconciliation feel more like extremely forced ship baiting, given how it goes from one of the two being marginally kinder to the other than usual, then immediately dropping it for more sniping. (Past!Shadowpeach receives 5/10.)

Fanon Rating: -10/10. I've spoken at length about this, but fans love to distort Wukong into a drooling abuser so stupid he can't breath through his nose, usually while turning Macaque into a Possession Sue who only serves to be the author's simpering self-insert who is the most perfect little baby of all time who has never ever done anything wrong at all even once. If there is an attempt to be “nuanced" or "unbiased" it manifests as "Sun Wukong "killed" (re: defended himself against) Macaque so he's worse." It's an awful, extremely pervasive dynamic that rots any fandom enjoyment I could have had for this couple.

Personal Enjoyment: 6/10. Getting to write Macaque as the legitimately awful person that he is takes off the edge of seeing constant “uwu sadboi" Macaque content. Still, I rarely touch anyone else's Shadowpeach content because of how pervasive “Fanon!Macaque” is.

Blackberry

Name Rating: 10/10. Macaque actually gets like… really good ship names. Whoever is coming up with these is putting in more effort than whoever came up with all of Sun Wukong’s ship names, at least. The name references both Change’s association with food, and is a color that both characters share! Also- I have a serious weakness for ship names that reference real things.

Canon Rating: 0/10. There’s not even any indication that the two know that the other exists. Maybe they’ll meet up at some point, but as for right now

Fanon Rating: -5/10. Hey, remember what I said above two times already? That Fanon!Macaque is a big simpering bitch baby who only exists to serve as an eternal victim for the writer to coddle like a saint whose only crime is being too perfect? Same applies to Blackberry, to no surprise! It’s less egregious in that Chang’e is legitimately a sweet and loving lady.

Personal Enjoyment: 3/10. The fanart can be cute, but that’s about all that Blackberry has going for it that appeals to my taste. Maybe I’ll come around to it if they have some interaction in the show proper, but I’m not banking on it.

Inkypages

Name Rating: 7/10. This is a simpler name, but I like it! Again, Macaque’s (and Tang’s, too!) ship names are willing to go beyond trying to confine him to a single aspect of his character and actually utilize several aspects of his personality and being beyond just one food. (Yes I’m still mad about the peach prioritization that Sun Wukong’s ship names have.) Inkypages isn’t bad! I like saying it! It’s a logical thing to say!

Canon Rating: -10/10. Okay. Okay, I know. I talk about this a lot. Macaque in the story doesn’t really have logical growth as a character because the show isn’t willing to center any significant time around his flaws and misdeeds outside of MK being hurt by him and then in turn throwing him second chances like cheap candy, which means that Macaque’s genuinely villainous actions have no weight because even the people hurt the worst by him don’t actually get to have thoughts or feelings on how he’s hurt them, and even at his absolute most rancid all of his wrongdoings are simply forgotten, which means his dynamic with Tang is literally: Be a piece of shit -> degrade him -> violently attack him -> try to manipulate him -> be defended by Tang after releasing the Samadhi Fire -> nothing.

It’s... it’s just not good. I still don’t understand why Macaque was going to be a villain at all if nothing he did reflects back onto him in any way or is hard to grow past. It’s just... their dynamic is bad. Most of Macaque’s dynamics are bad because the majority of his growth happens offscreen and away from the people that he’s hurt, which leaves reduces what could’ve been a genuinely intriguing and complex character arc to nothing.

Fanon Rating: -8/10. Hey, do you guys like seeing Tang be turned into a snarky lid-eyed whore who hates Wukong? No? Then you won’t like Inkypages. Hey, do you guys like seeing Macaque be reduced to a blubbering pants-shitting baby who needs to be coddled past whatever misdeeds the author invented to be mad at Wukong for supposedly committing? No? Then you won’t like Inkypages. Hey, do you guys like blatant character assassination for the sake of babying villainous blorbos and over-angstifying old men? No? Then you won’t like Inkypages.

Personal Enjoyment: 0/10. This is the longest section of this rant for a reason. I just… it’s a lot like Shadowpeach, where to a large degree the fans have kinda turned me away from any portrayal of the ship- except Shadowpeach has an interesting enough dynamic that I like engaging with it anyhow, at least on my own.

End Result

(Scores ranging from -40 to +40)

Shadowpuppet= 2/40

Shadowpeach= 1/40

(Past!Shadowpeach would be around 20)

Blackberry= 8/40

Inkypages= -11/40

[varda-star-queen]

Thank you @itwillbeourswansong - I cordially accept your invitation! When do I ever not need an excuse to wail about Adar? (Also, I very much enjoyed reading your thoughts! Nicely put as ever.)

I'll go straight to the questions for my wail-therapy session

-Your most wail-worthy Adar moment of TROP Season 1 or 2

He died! 😭 I don't think I'll ever get over it - not after all the build up and the amazing redemption arc he had. I hear what everyone says about it mirroring what he did to Sauron, but so what? It wasn't a befitting end for such a great OC.

However - TBH I think EVERY scene that Adar features in is wail-worthy (in S2 - and I'll explain that in question 3, but it's no slight on S1 Adar). The scenes where he speaks elvish and black speech... OMG 🔥. His chemistry and interactions with other characters. His tenderness coupled with ferocity on the battlefield! All of it.

I can't watch his scenes without wailing (for happy or sad reasons!)

-The detail/headcanon about Adar that keeps you up wailing at night

Very much like @itwillbeourswansong - It's Adar's huge capacity for love that gets me. We only see his physical scars, but his emotional and psychological ones are likely much worse. Yet, through all that he retains enough heart and soul to dedicate his entire existence to loving the unlovable. At no point do you feel that he would walk away or stop caring. He's capable of malice, of course, and, in many ways, he's ruthless, but always with the underlying motive of providing for his children.

He knows he's broken - when he says to Glug 'with all that is left of my heart', it feels to me like an acknowledgement. And I think when he puts on Nenya and feels whole-hearted again, it intensifies his capacity for love even more. So much so that he proposes peace - a safe place for every being in middle earth.

His patience is also noteworthy - I mean, he's lived thousands of years with an uncivilised bunch of violent kids! But he's always so calm and patient. And he's smart - one minute he's negotiating with a troll, then he's quoting poetry and calling people beautiful, then he's leading his armies into battle - It's high-level competency porn!

-At what point did you realize that you had become a hopeless Baddydaddy Devotee and lost control of your entire life?

Ok, so I am a very late latecomer!!

In season 1, I was intrigued by Adar, but more in conjunction with the 'who is Sauron' mystery. I do remember thinking his haunted look was heartbreaking and wondering what his backstory was.

When season 2 started and I saw Sam as Adar, I instantly clicked with his voice - that was the first thing I noticed and I even remember saying to my husband that I liked the sound of him. BUT even then, I wasn't fully awakened. After the 'Elen Sila Lumenn' moment, I sat up a bit more and was like, ok... what's happening here? Then next episode, when Galadriel got him by the neck, I started thinking, hang on, why am I craving more scenes with him... Which I was rewarded with in Ep 7. And that one was the clincher. After his scenes in that, I was convert and I started rotting my brain on everything I could get hold of in relation to Adar (just in time for him to die next episode 😭😭😭NOOOOOOOOOO).

I've now rewatched every S2 scene so many times and am completely and hopelessly devoted to our BaddyDaddy.... I need to do a complete season 1 rewatch with all this in mind, because I feel I don't remember enough of the details.

It's on my to-do list!

🖤🖤🖤

Season 2 episodes 6&7 were also when i jumped off the Haladriel ship and boarded Adariel (where I've been firmly ever since!). But I also love how Adar gets shipped with EVERYONE. Because it affirms my own thoughts about how attractive a person is when they have a noble heart, even if it's corrupted. (...And of course he's a hot bastard which helps too!!)

No pressure tags @tumblin-theworldaway @iwanderbecauseimlost @laurarcrazystrange @wowstrawberrycow @permanentlyexhaustedpigeon88 @adarswidow

anybody in the mood to wail about Adar??

BECAUSE I AM

[vivziepoparchives]

Is there anything more about that blue fox from the Die Young amv that became the furry awakening for so many?

I should still have lots of JayJay art to post, but you can check her tag for what I already have if you're interested! If you're looking for more of a basic info overview, keep reading.

JayJay was originally named JiJi and she was a source of controversy for Viv because Viv didn't actually create JayJay. JayJay was a sparkle dog adopt that DollCreep purchased then redesigned. (I can't recall the original artist off the top of my head, unfortunately, and, if I'm remembering right, JiJi was purchased from someone who purchased her from the original artist before she even reached DollCreep.)

DollCreep, a friend of Viv's at the time, then sold JiJi to Viv who went on to use her in the infamous Die Young video. But there were disputes between the two about characters given or sold to Viv and where ownership laid. I'm not gonna get too into it, but in my personal opinion, this was just a case of not communicating the terms of sale well between friends. In the end, Viv renamed JiJi to JayJay and altered her design very slightly.

In terms of her purpose in Viv's Zoophbobia, she was supposed to show up in Book Two of the webcomic. Zoophobia didn't make it that far, though, so what we do know of her is mostly gleaned from Viv's art and posts about her.

She was part of a group of werewolf and canine characters Viv dubbed Party Dawgz in some posts and was close to the Queen of Werewolves. She's known for being a party animal, obviously, but cares about her packmates and friends deeply and just wants to have fun.

DollCreep also portrayed her as a party animal, but leaned into a more comedic and sexualized depiction of her. Viv tried to tone that part of her personality down a lot which was something she stated directly once.

I believe some more specific details of JayJay's story (such as her being a farm girl who got stuck as a werewolf) were changed along the way. But, in general, being a party animal is what has stuck with her the longest as her primary trait.

Fitting for a sparkle dog adopt.

Queen Bee from Helluva Boss is a big blaring neon throw back to JayJay and is probably near-identical in personality if you strip away the world-building specific aspects of both. Viv even referenced JayJay's original colors during Cotton Candy and obtained Kesha as her voice actress. So, in the end, this is where JayJay ended up in spirit.

Disclaimer: I was not around to witness the controversy of her ownership of JayJay in real time, but I have researched it for myself to reach my own conclusions about the situation. For me, it comes across as a messy falling out between friends, and I have sympathy for both sides.

As an archivist, I never want to shy away from the more controversial things that happened in Viv's history. But I also don't want a lot of discourse on this post about it, so I may block if I feel people are veering into overly aggressive and nonconstructive anti territory. Just try to be civil with any discussion if you want to avoid being blocked.

[rejectedbytheempty]

from the dirt we rise, ch. 5

pairing: farmer!john price x reader, no use of y/n

word count: 2k

cw: none

synopsis: when your car breaks down in the middle of the english countryside, a tall, dark stranger comes to your rescue

masterlist

the sound of the stairs creaking startles you from your sleep, and for a moment you forget where you were. it all comes rushing back to you when you open your eyes and realize that you’re in john’s guest room.

you groan softly and roll over, checking your phone to see what time it was. the clock read 6:08, and you were careful to not let your eyes drift downwards to your notifications. you weren’t sure if nathan would have even reached out, but you didn’t want to ruin yet another day with his antics and were loath to look at your texts to check.

in fact, you were fine with never speaking to him again, happy to let it all fade to an unpleasant distant memory. you were sure, however, that nathan would find some other way to fuck up your life, but for now you needed to get out of bed and find some coffee. you rolled out of bed, already missing the warmth of the blankets as you headed to the bathroom to freshen up.

after you had managed to make yourself look somewhat acceptable, you headed down the stairs. the smell of freshly brewed coffee hit you as you stepped into the kitchen, and you spotted the coffee machine with a full pot sitting on the counter, along with a bowl of sugar and a container of milk.

john was already sat at the table, coffee cup in front of him as he read the paper. his hair was still ruffled from sleep, some ends sticking out in small tufts. he was in a worn t-shirt and a pair of grey sweatpants, eyeglasses once again perched on his nose.

the scene felt all too homey, like you were interrupting his morning routine somehow. shame crept over you, unwarranted as it was, and you turned to head back upstairs when john called out your name.

“you headin’ back upstairs already?”

you turned back around sheepishly, “i didn’t want to bother you.”

he gave you a look over his glasses like a stern professor admonishing you, “nonsense, you could never bother me. ‘sides, already heard you come down the stairs, no sense in sneaking off now.”

you smiled appreciatively at him, nodding at his words, “you’re right, i’m-“ you stopped yourself before apologizing, something you found you did all too much, “do you mind if i have some coffee, too?”

he gestured to the cabinet above the sink, “there’s some coffee cups up there, take what you like, sweetheart.”

you hated how quickly he could make your face flush with just a simple nickname, and you turned away from him as you grabbed a random cup from the cupboard, trying to hide the evidence of your flustering.

as you poured out your coffee, you noticed that the mug you had chosen was one of those “#1 dad” types but the dad part had been crossed out in sharpie with the word captain written in messy handwriting beside it.

once you put your preferred sugar and milk in your coffee, you turned around to sit at the table with john, who was now nose deep in the crossword puzzle.

he glanced up when you sat down, taking a note of the mug you chose he said, “good choice. the boys made me that one when i announced my retirement.”

you smiled softly as you took a sip of the coffee, but you did notice the faraway look in his eyes after he spoke, like he was remembering something. “you miss it, then?” you asked, and he blinked back to the present, looking over at you again.

“every day. it’s strange, practically my whole life was dedicated to it, and one day it just.. all went away. reckon that’s why i like to keep busy on the farm,” he admitted.

you nodded, “i understand, well.. i don’t exactly, but i do know what it’s like to dedicate yourself to something and even though you know it’s bad for you, you don’t remember life without it, so you stay..”

the room went silent, and you looked abashedly at your coffee, afraid you said too much.

“i promised you yesterday i’d take you to see the animals, right?”

you looked up at him with a puzzled expression, “yes, you did.”

he smiled, “well, i don’t intend on going back on my word, and if you’re up for it, maybe you could help around the farm today?” you gave him an appreciative expression, “that would be lovely.”

after you had finished your coffee and john had done around half of his crossword, you both headed upstairs to get ready. by then, the sun had settled on top of the horizon, lighting the sky with hues of pink, orange, and yellow.

you were able to find some clothes that you packed that might be suitable for farm work, or rather, clothes you were willing to get dirty. john thankfully had some boots from when one of his work friends, kate, came to visit, as she accidentally left them behind but couldn’t be bothered to go all the way to england from the states just for a pair of wellies.

john was definitely dressed more appropriately than you, wearing a flannel and a pair of overalls along with his own pair of boots.

“ready?” he asked and you shrugged, “as i’ll ever be.”

he chuckled, “i’m sure you’ll be a natural at it.”

then the two of you set off along a dirt path toward the animal pens. although you had seen cows from the roadside, you had never been close enough to one before to realize the sheer size of them.

while you were helping john refill their water, one ambled up to you, staring at you with its big brown eyes, tail swishing slightly behind them. you looked to john, to ask for help? you weren’t sure, to be honest but he was just smiling.

“she wants you to pet her,” he said, and you turned back to the cow who was patiently waiting. you slowly reached towards her and began scratching under her neck, she let out an appreciative grunt and moved her head back to expose more of her neck for you to pet.

“like this?” you asked back to john, eyes still trained on the cow.

“yep, just like that” he answered, and even though you were facing the other way, you could hear the smile in his voice as he talked.

he tried to teach you how to milk them but you could only coax a few drops out, much to your chagrin. he shrugged, “takes lots of practice, ‘sides, you didn’t get kicked, so there’s clearly some talent in there.”

your eyes widened, “they’d kick me?”

he laughed, “just messin’, i’d stop you well before they got around to kickin’.”

safe to say, that didn’t reassure you very much and you let him milk the rest by himself.

next were the chickens, he had you spread out the meal on the ground and they all came running from their roosts to peck the pieces from the dirt.

he gestured to the empty nests, “see? now it’s easier to get their eggs without them fighting back. protective things til it’s breakfast, then they’d abandon their eggs for a kernel of corn.”

you frowned, “that’s kind of sad.”

he waved you off, “you’ll feel bad til one of them comes flying at you to peck your eyeballs out, then you understand why humans started eatin’ eggs.”

you smelled the pigs before you saw them, your wrinkled nose making john have a good chuckle, “not the smell you expected?”

“i mean, i knew they smelled bad but, not that bad,” you said as you plugged your nose.

he shrugged, “after the first few years of living in the barracks, i think i went nose blind, or at least my smell tolerance was greatly improved.”

you shook your head, “don’t think i could ever get used to this.”

“fair enough,” he admitted, “why don’t you head on back to the house and get cleaned up, i can finish up here.”

you looked at him, “are you sure?”

he shook his head with a grin, “honey, i’ve done this everyday by myself, don’t think i’d be dead in the water if you left.”

you laughed, “you’re right, didn’t really think that one through, did i?”

“at least you’re pretty” he joked, heading down the path towards the pig pen, leaving you to bask in his words.

you thought about what he said all the way up to the house, in your head, you knew it was just a saying and he was just joking around. in your heart, well, your heart was still pounding something fierce as you walked in the house and took off your muddied boots.

your movements were so robotic that it wasn’t until he spoke that you noticed a man sitting in the living room.

“you’re not john” he said, which was rather obvious, you hoped.

you stopped in your tracks, looking him up and down. he was.. well to put it rather blunt, a beautiful man. he had a cap on with a worn insignia of the british flag on it that just shadowed the area above his dark, brown eyes. he was wearing a blue windbreaker, a pair of jeans, and a confused expression.

“i.. am not. who are you?” you asked, although you know you should be scared of a random man being in john’s house, you figured he had to know the captain. because why in the hell would he be waiting around in his house if he wasn’t supposed to be there, or at least, you hoped that was true.

“i’m gaz, who are you?” in that moment you remembered the conversation you had yesterday with soap and john where they had mentioned a fourth person in their task force, one that was still in the military and was now a lieutenant.

you sighed out a breath of relief, “oh, you’re gaz, the lieutenant, right?”

he nodded but was still cautious of you, “yes, uh, how do you know that?”

as you were about to explain what was probably a long winded and over-described story, you heard the door behind you open behind you as john walked in, one boot pulled off and the other in the process of being taken off.

once he freed his other foot and looked up his face split into a grin, “gaz! i didn’t know you were comin’!”

you looked back to where gaz was standing, his face now in a similar expression to john’s, “yeah, that’s the point of a surprise, cap’n.”

they both walked forward and settled into a heavy embrace, john clapping gaz on the back, “good to see you in one piece, kyle.”

then, his attention shifted back to you and he motioned you over to the two of them. he introduced you to kyle, the latter taking your hand in a firm grip, “sorry i was so rude earlier, didn’t know price got himself a bird. been too busy to tell me, i guess, or maybe he’s forgotten about me since starting this farm.”

you felt your face heat up, “oh, i’m not-“

“she’s not-“

you and john launched into similar protests, both stopping to allow the other to explain.

gaz broke the silence, “right, well, sorry for assuming then. christ, we got off to a good start didn’t we?”

gaz looked at you sheepishly but you waved him off, “i-it’s okay, i mean, it’s not like you knew.”

john nodded his head, “honest mistake, really. she’s just been staying here while her car gets fixed, and she just got out of a relationship, so nothing happened,” john rambled. you had never seen him so flustered, always seeming like he has a handle on the situation.

and you weren’t really sure why he was in such a hurry to dismiss the thought of being with you, were you that repulsive to him? maybe all those flirty remarks were just jokes, maybe he couldn’t stand you.

gaz broke the silence in the room, looking between the two of you stuck in your thoughts before clearing his throat, “so, you had breakfast yet?”

a/n: just wanna get it out there first and foremost, i am not a farmer, i have never done farm work a day in my life and so i just wanna say that this is all based on google searches and like.. little house on the prairie, so i apologize if its wholly inaccurate.. next, i am so sorry this took so long to get out, but with me accidentally deleting my og blog and school, i literally could not find any energy to do this lmao. but it’s here, yaaay!! also, i did take some liberties on reader, kind of projecting my lack of farming experience on her so i do apologize for her being kind of oc-y..

taglist:

@the-disaster-in-waiting

@night-girl-301

@darkangel4121

@valeissocute

@dneicjefx

@liidiaag

@lilynotdilly

@sleep101

@yellow-cat

@snailss

@nellabear

@eternallyvenus

@bookishthoughtss

@lunerbitch

@horny-bish

@sunna-fangirls

@nexthyperfix

@princeofnonsense

@supernova2205

@beebeechaos

@appl3-0rchard

@shadowwolf8002

@mismatchsposts

@dragonbe-writing

@honestlymassivetrash

@krispymagazinepizza-blog

@skeletonsucker

@readgoods

@rip-cod-brainrot

@anticipayosbot

@cyaniderainfall

@theclassicvinyldragon

@watermelontidewater

@frangiipanii