#look one of my friends reminded me i have agency and could do this

[wyvchard]

Birds of a Feather...

Agent Phoenix found themself displaced in time after waking up to Reginald's younger self. Chaos ensues.

Content Warnings: Canon Typical Violence, guns, restraints, Reggie's field days, Phoenix chaos

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"Are you doing alright?" Agent Phoenix groaned as they woke up in a rough bed feeling far worse than the time they stayed up until daylight. They took a deep breath to calm down in order to observe their surroundings. It wasn't as clinical as a typical Zoraxis base, a relief to them.

"Nothing too unfamiliar. Where am I?" They glanced at the source of the voice, suddenly pausing when they finally registered a familiar looking face peering at them with worry.

"Is there something on my face?" He raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms to show his disapproval. "If you think these bandages look horrible, you should take a good look at yourself."

"You look like someone I know... just... younger. It's not what you think. I know I look horrible but believe me, I can manage." They looked away, taking a deep breath to focus on something other than their heavy limbs. "I've been through worse."

"You were found unconscious in the middle of nowhere. What could be worse than that? Actually, I take that back."

Phoenix gave him a sympathetic smile before getting up, much to his panic. They chuckled at his fussing. "You remind me too much of my dad. I'm sorry for laughing. He frets a lot."

"Who wouldn't? I know I can be stubborn as a mule but you seem to be on another level."

"Well, I'd say I like to take things on another level." They smirked, amusement spilling all over them, only for them to frown when they felt their ear emptier than usual.

"We confiscated your earpiece. For some reason, it caught the attention of one of our technicians we're taking a poke at it a little bit."

"I'm getting it back, right?"

"If you can get R&D to return it, that is. Speaking of, I have to go. Please stay here? I'm sure some of doctors have plenty to be curious about. Would it be alright if you satisfy their curiosity a bit?"

"I don't have much of a choice, do I? All I can do is sit up at the moment." They mumbled, shooing him off. A part of him remains unconvinced but he has somewhere to be: Roxana is waiting for him.

Phoenix absolutely hated the probing that came moments later. They miss the fact they didn't have to answer questions that weren't "where does it hurt? Have you injested anything you shouldn't? How are you even alive?" or any of the sort.

They so badly wanted to grab the clipboard from the doctor with their TK but that was classified information that mustn't come out, so they put on a smile and answered as best they could without releasing anything classified.

They really wish to know who that young man was, seeing as though he looked a lot like the older photos of their beloved handler.

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"Reginald..." Roxana stared at her friend who approached her with a silly grin. "You know you really shouldn't have taken their earpiece. Who knows what it is made of."

"You are curious about it as well. Don't give me that look." He stifled a huff, watching as she hands him some schematics. "Roxana, you know I don't understand any of this."

She sighed, pointing at a stool nearby a table with an open sewing kit. "The earpiece is definitely more compact than anything the agency is capable of producing at the moment." Her eyes darted to him working on one of the tears she accidentally created when it was snagged by a tool. She really needs to make a case to allow a bit of leeway in the dress code.

"That's not what I'm interested about. Why is their earpiece so tied to my own? I know I don't pay attention to the other agents as much as I should but I'm sure I can recognize someone like them."

"What makes you say that?"

"Well-" His words were cut off by a transmission. "I have to go. My handler is telling to check out the source of a distress call in the building."

He gently put away the repaired garment and rushed outside, leaving her alone.

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Agent Phoenix is currently curled up in a corner, one spare radio borrowed from the "supply closet" (empty and unused office) they barricaded themself in.

They need to get evac there. Immediately. Everything felt so familiar yet so wrong. There were some places where they can delude themselves they were back in their office, bullet holes and all. Yet it was too new to them, as if someone patched up the structural failings on the surface.

They held their breath, really hoping that the mail slot there wasn't going to have a-

"Woah! Gun safety rules aside, it's me. Come on. Please get outta there." He sounded surprised at the fact his gun was practically ripped from his grasp in the mail slot although here was a hint of reprimand.

"Leave me alone! I wanna go back. I miss him so much." They covered their ears, still shivering from how similar the young man's voice was to his.

"There isn't really much to miss there. A lot of things you can shoot at point blank range. And I don't think he's around."

They counted the seconds, internally cursing at the fact they need to use their TK to open the door in order to escape.

Despite their preparation, they managed to falter, earning him a chance to tie their limbs with a rope.

"Let me go! I swear I only want to go home." Indignation laced their voice as their struggled. "Please. I'm sure they're worried."

"I only came with a gun because you were reported to have a knife on you. How did you even manage to sneak it past us?"

"Well, why was your first thought to push a gun through a mail slot to calm me down?"

Their unfriendly glare made him wear a wry smile as he mumbled an apology. "Well, why wouldn't I be guarded? You were sending a distress call to the agency, not to mention your earpiece always connects to mine."

Eyes widening at the realization, they looked resigned a few seconds later. "... I won't participate in any questions until you do this one thing for me, Mr. Reginald Crane."

A shiver ran up his spine as they gave him a devious grin.

"Please ask Dr. Roxana Prism if she's willing to make a tine machine with me."

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I have NO idea where I'm going with this so this is a one shot for now.

Tag List:

@phoenix-and-found-family, @the-one-and-only-043, @ghostlystarwanderer, @jellyfishgummy

[sorrowingsoldier]

I'm 'bout to lose it, turn around and John Wayne that ass

(BODYGUARD - Beyoncé)

[wannabe-skinni-qween]

TW! 111 harsh wl quotes (pt 2)

you can always be thinner, look better

how do you want to feel this summer, fit or jealous?

it gets easier when you get consistent

on good days, workout. on bad days, workout harder

the moment you want to quit is the moment you need to keep pushing

once you control your mind, you can conquer your body

you can either eat well or look well, your choice

pain is weakness leaving the body

starving is the perfect example of will power

hunger won't betray you like eating will

don't eat. if you want to see food, look at your thighs

ballerina or beanbag?

sugar is the enemy

calories can't make you happy

the distance is nothing, it is only the first step that is difficult, make that step.

pleasure to the lips adds pounds to the hips

i do this for me

ana is not an illness, she's the cure

if you can eat past fullness, you can starve past hunger

you're too good to put that in your body

don't listen to your inner fatty, she's an evil bitch

"boys don't like skin and bones" but modeling agencies do

you have two choices, do it now, or regret it later?

do it so steps don't sound like stomps

if you really wanted it, you would have it by now

stay strong, think thin

pretty girls don't eat

coffee, diet coke and cigarettes are what skinny girls are made of

feet together, thighs apart the collar bones are where we start count the ribs and feel the hips that’s what makes us skinny, bitch

the greasy fry it cannot lie, its truth is written on your thigh

bones define who we really are - let them show

food isn't running away from you, you don't need to eat it all at once

don't ever stop trying because one day, you will be thin

there's a skinny girl in you just waiting to come out

quod me nutrit, me destruit (what nourishes me, destroys me)

you can't control life, but you can control what you eat

this is your daily reminder that weight is fixable

tomorrow you'll wish you'd started today, today you wish you'd have started yesterday, only you can break the cycle

don't settle for a body that you don't even like

you don't get the abs you want by laying on them

stop feeling bad for yourself, it's your fault you look like that

you only get one life, don't waste it feeling insecure over something you could easily fix

while you're wasting your time, others are succeeding

you're not a pig right? so stop eating like one

don't let your love for food be the reason you lose love for yourself

keep eating like that and you'll need a whole new wardrobe at this rate

is your plan to gain weight? sure looks like it

all of that binging is really starting to show

you can't afford to give up

get up, nobody is coming to save you

there are so many things in the world that cannot be done through my will alone. other things require money, luck and connections. dieting requires only your will

nothing in this world goes the way you want, you can't conrol anything but you can control what you eat

without struggle, there is no progress

longer hair, thinner body

you will only get what you work for, nothing more, nothing less

being proud to look at the scale

the best form of revenge is a good body

to stop worrying if he can hold you up

what do you mean you gave up on the first day? are you sure you want to keep looking like that?

so your bf/gfs friend will be jealous of them

binge a tv show instead of your kitchen

until you get disgusted enough with your own laziness, nothing will change

stop blaming everything else and start blaming yourself

"i'll start tomorrow" can last for years

if you're not hungry enough to eat an apple, you're not hungry enough to eat those sweets

"i regret working out" – nobody ever

every accomplishment starts with a decision

if it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you

think of your workout as important meeting that you've scheduled with yourself. bosses bever cancel

you didn't gain all of that weight in one day, so you won't lose it all in one day. be patient

your body can do anything, it's your brain you have to convince

on the other side of your workout is the body that you want

if you don't take time to get thin now, you're gonna have to deal with being fat later

You don’t need a fancy gym, nikes, or new sweatpants to exercise. you just need yourself and some motivation

crave exercise like you would crave junk food

you must tell yourself, no matter how hard it is or how hard it gets, you are going to make it

consistency > perfection

start where you are. use what you have. do what you can

and i am pure now...

i have a rule when i weight myself: if i gain, i starve for the rest of the day. if i lose, i do the same thing

nothing matters when i'm thin

you will be tempted quite frequently, and you will have to choose whether you will enjoy your self hugely in the twenty minutes or so that you will be consuming the excess calories, or whether you will dislike yourself cordially for two or three days, for your lack of willpower

food is a hinderance to your progress

every supposed pleasure in sin will furnish more than it's equivalent of pain

don't do anything today that you'll regret tomorrow

like a plant, surely, the body can be trained to exist on nothing ~ to take it's nourishment from the air

to be thin, no price is too high

lose everything and what is real will still remain

you can learn to love anything, i think, if you need to badly enough. i trained myself to enjoy feeling hungry

starving is more fulfilling than eating will ever be

food is temptation. once you overcome food, you can overcome anything

i don't care if it hurts. i want to have control. i want a perfect body. i want a perfect soup

when you start to feel weak and dizzy, you're almost there

i'm not there yet, but i'm closer than i was yesterday

we are what we repeatedly do, excellence is not an act, but a habit

you can always go further than you think you can

everything i want is buried under a layer of fat

re-measure, re-weigh, try harder

success is determined by how determined you are to succeed

time spent wasting is not wasted time

someday is not a day of the week

nobody ever got ahead by sitting on their ass

inside everybody is a thin person waiting to get out, but she is too sedated by a slice of chocolate cake

you could die at any time and once you are dead, you will be that weight FOREVER. do you want to look fat when everyone comes by to see you in the coffin?

starvation is fulfilling. i will do whatever it takes. colors become brighter, sounds sharper, odors so much more savory and penetrating that inhalation fills every fiber and pore of the body. the greatest food is actually found when a morsel never passes the lips

"jeez you're heavy" or "woah you're so light"

i am your butter and your bread, i am the voice inside your head

the stomach is ungrateful. it always forgets that we gave it something

sweat is just your fat crying

food is mean and sneaky. it tricks you into eating it and it works on you from the inside out, making you fat, bloated, ugly and unhappy

every calorie you eat equals another step toward your destruction

i can't believe i found all of these... should i attemt pt 3??

[two-white-butterflies]

★ — imgonnagetyouback | max verstappen

Description: Max ends the relationship with a phone-call.

Pairing: actress!reader/max verstappen

Disclaimer: Everything written in this fanfic holds no truth about anyone's personality or actions. It is made purely for entertainment.

A/N: everything i do used to be inspired by the 2014 ver. grimes. reader is unhinged as her, but gets development in the end!! THIS IS AN ODE TO THE "MONSTER" TITLED FIC I READ ABOUT LEE PACE.

"Let's break up."

Let's break up.

You could still hear the aftertaste of his voice on your ears. How nonchalant he sounded while denying a relationship of seven years. Why was he quick to leave? Did he find someone else?

You sniffled, wiping your snot with a tissue on your right.

I'm gonna get revenge.

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yourname: me, the dogs and @edmundquandt

liked by 728,391 others

>comments

maxversworldargentina: huh isn't she dating max? did u break up?

reversethismess: Who is he?

victoriaverstappen: ❤️

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Y/N L/N AND FORMULA ONE DRIVER, MAX VERSTAPPEN CONFIRM THEIR BREAKUP.

Yesterday UMG Inc. Agency released a statement to SSN confirming the breakup between Y/N L/N and her Formula One boyfriend.

The pair began to date each other in 2017, where Verstappen was accepted into Toro Rosso and Redbull Racing. They have been together for 7 years and have been dubbed as the most iconic couple in the Formula One paddocks.

Rumors between the two splitting emerged late March, however the couple affirmed that they were still dating each other. On December, however the netizens were greeted with radio silence.

According to L/N's team: the breakup was mutually agreed upon, as they grew apart from all the travelling required for their job.

>comments

grills93: I can't make it go away by making you a villain, I guess it's the price I pay for seven years in heaven.

lnworld: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AND HER NEW INSTA POST WITH EDMUND???? NOOOOOOO

carshfo: she defo cheated with edmund bcs no way lol

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Max's pulse was racing at the sight of you around another man's arms. Seeing your arms wrapped around his shoulders, leaning into him for balance as you laughed at a joke that wasn't funny at all. "- and then we found out that there wasn't a building in the hotel with those rooms." Edmund finished his joke.

By that time, you were already laughing uncontrollably.

Max clenched his jaw.

A piece of his heart regretted breaking up with you.

"Control yourself mate, he's a big investor." Yuri reminds.

Max didn't give a flying fuck. He didn't own any Redbull stocks. He's a good driver, this Edmund Quandt has nothing on him. His features only soften once he remembered the reason why he broke up with you. He wanted to focus more on his career. He wanted to test the pond for more fish.

He needed upgrades on his car.

Fuck.

He needed to chafe his knees for this guy.

"Funnily enough, when I was in Texas I had a similar encounter. I knew exactly what to do." Edmund placed a hand on the small of your back. Max prevents his eyelids from twitching.

Charles smiles, showing the crowd his dimpled cheeks. Charles always had the ability to charm other people. He was perfect, and now he's friends with Mr. Quandt whom he only met.

"I'm sorry for asking this Edmund, but are you two...?" Charles paused, allowing the other man to fill in the blanks. Edmund smiles - pearly white teeth and a godly physique.

Max doesn't fail to observe the glance that Edmund gives you, a look that asked for your permission.

"We're dating each other, for a month now - but we're still testing the waters." you chuckled, ignoring the presence of your ex-boyfriend despite his figure melancholily staring at you.

"I just want to put a ring on her." Edmund admits.

The other people fade into the background.

"My father always says, give her a ring with a big diamond so she won't be able to see how much of a monster you are." he teased.

"You're not a monster." your eyebrows merged into each other.

Max wanted to punch the air.

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yournamepriv: i love this big baby 🥺 @e123456

liked by 92

>comments

haileybeiber: i love this for u omgg

sophierichiegrange: So cute ❤️🥺

e123456: You got my good side! - yournamepriv: Ur good side is 360 degs

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Max takes a deep breath. Again.

You forgot to remove him as a mutual in your private account. And he was greeted by a picture of you kissing Edmund Quandt. His mind raced through a million different thoughts. Regret, anger, resentment - but they were mostly filled of regret.

He didn't appreciate what he got, and now it's gone.

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maxandynfanbase: do you get deja vu? 😭

liked by lewishamilton and 72,192 others

>comments

mercyplease9: EDMUND IS SO TALL??

ohnoaosd9: lewis we can see u 💀

holyhell1: i like pic 2 more

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yourname: visited some mangrove swamps with this big baby. 🥺your integrity makes me seem small... #savethemangroves tagged: edmundquandt

liked by maxverstappen, lewishamilton and 1,283,923 others

taylorswift: You and Edmund have the KINDEST heart. - yourname: thanks taytay i wanna see u and trav here next time - taylorswift: Will do! I'll tell you when my schedule clears up. - yourname: love u ❤️

haileybeiber: We love a momma who cares

sophierichiegrange: <3

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"I can't believe she's out there helping the fucking mangroves." Max places his phone on the couch.

He couldn't believe your sudden change in tune, that drastic of a change to come from someone like you? "She used to complain being in the EU because it meant not using plastic straws." he breathed, still choosing to believe that you were like him.

Still the same crazy. Still the same stupid.

"She's really being fake for him." he shook his head.

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yourname: i totes know how to play 🎾 this friday we're having an event for all the young racecar drivers that unfortunately can't afford to pursue the sport. all proceeds will go to @bmwfoundationsports and the @grandprixtrust !!

liked by edmundquandt and 1,283,912 others

>comments

edmundquandt: ❤️

CharlesLeclerc: Will be in attendance. 🫡

oracleredbullracing: We love a Queen with a good heart

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maxverstappenupdates: Max Verstappen in @bmwfoundationsports and @grandprixtrust.

liked by kellypiquet and 23,392 others

>comments

youalloverme: HE LOOKS SO SAD...

maxismybf: Hadnsumm

posyposie: wondering if a dodged a bullet or just lost the love of my life

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He takes another sip of his whiskey, forgetting about the cameras that snapped his figure left and right. There were a million things he wanted to say to you, but he wanted to start with a question.

"I never imagined seeing you change yourself for a guy." he scoffed.

You turned around with your eyebrows raised. Flabbergasted at his insinuation. "Change myself?" you repeated the word, finding it to be hilarious on his tongue.

"The whole save the earth, save the kids thing - you don't care about that. I understand though, money is money and your boyfriend has a lot of that." Max allowed the alcohol to speak in his behalf.

"You don't have the right to talk about me or my integrity. You abandoned me, remember?" you argued, feeling anger pulse through your veins.

Since he left, you tried to make yourself better.

"When I was with you, we were both horrible people. Quite literally the rich people cliche that we promised not to become. I guess you were right, we weren't growing together - and now I've become a better person without you - all because of Edmund." you gritted your teeth, grabbing the champagne on the table before the media realized that the 'ex-lovers' were talking to each other.

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(PRE-EDMUND QUANDT.)

I'm gonna get revenge.

That night you planned to ruin his chance at winning by exposing a flaw in the car that would allow the other drivers to overtake him. A button outside of the car - with the engineers that could remotely turn off a key engine that allowed his car to move faster.

He told you about it because driving at that speed endangers his life, and if you were the only one in the administration panel that knew about it - he made it your duty to push that button.

You grabbed your laptop, sneaking inside the garage. "What are you doing?" a voice emerged from behind you, and you momentarily stopped with the program.

You turned around - only to be greeted with your ex-boyfriend, Edmund Quandt. A man that your parents adored. A man whom everyone thought was going to become your husband, and he was here - behind you. Looking at you.

"Just grabbing my things, I won't be here anymore." you lied. Despite your obvious lie, he chose to give you the benefit of the doubt. He always kinda chose to see the better side of a person, rather than thinking the worst of them first.

"Oh why is that?" he asked with a smile. "Because of things..." you evaded the question - not wanting to rant about your other ex-boyfriend that broke up with you because of a phone call.

"Are you done with grabbing your things?" his eyes narrowed.

"Oh yeah." you breathed.

You had to evade your plan of revenge.

"Do you want to grab some coffee?" he offered.

"Of course."

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Max Verstappen I'm really sorry for doing that. Must be all the Whiskey I drank 😅

Y/N L/N Drunk actions are sober thoughts, Max

Max Verstappen I still shouldn't have confronted you It's just really weird seeing you post things like save the turtles, donate to the kids we never gave a fuck about those 😆

Y/N L/N Yeah, I didn't care about them But now I do We used to be the same but now we aren't

Max Verstappen ?

Y/N L/N You broke up with me because you wanted to focus on your career Because all you care about is money and success We both got stuck on that We didn't see the value in other things When we broke up, Edmund brought me back to earth Opened my eyes to the privilege we've been granted

Y/N L/N Take this as a warning Max The high life isn't gonna last forever

*blocked*

[spacexseven]

Fyodor would be a family man that’s good at hiding his true intentions from his family such as the decay of angels and rats house along with his s/o just nurturing their son and having a peaceful side along with Nikolai being a family friend who would entertain Fyodors son. One happy family

anon i could kiss you senseless rn...literally one of the best things i've ever had the honor of seeing in my inbox. this idea has ruined me i swear it's Perfect

fem reader, reader is married to fyodor and has a son w him

cw: yandere character, deceit, manipulation, mentioned murder

fyodor dostoevsky makes for a wonderful husband—loving, ordinary, almost suspiciously so, but you married him knowing that he was an ordinary man. you loved him knowing that he was an ordinary man.

an ordinary man with some extremely unsettling secrets, none that you knew about.

the fyodor dostoevsky you knew and loved was the man who kissed the palm of your hand, and if he was feeling particularly affectionate, your forehead, every morning before he left for work, with a half-smile on his lips and a fond gleam in his eyes. you weren't quite sure what he did, except that he worked for a company of some kind, but you didn't like the way his face hardened when you probed, so you left it at that. it didn't matter what he did, anyway, so long as he came back to greet you every night, safe and unharmed.

the man you married was the one who'd come home to greet you with a tired nod and a warm embrace, entertaining your son's excited rambling over dinner. he held you close when he read before sleeping, stroking your hair with a light touch. as far as you were concerned, he was an amazing husband and lover.

though he was not necessarily a good person otherwise.

you were so easily blinded by the tender warmth he showed his family, that you hardly cared for his uncharacteristic slip-ups. like when he scowls, ever so slightly, when the news broadcasts some detective agency receiving an award, or when a ghost of a smile lingers as you wonder out loud how a casino could be floating in the sky.

you never once questioned the times he came home in an entirely different coat from when he went out, or when he was away for days on end, not calling you or leaving you a single message. was it because you trusted him wholeheartedly, or because you were afraid of what the truth really was?

but even if you had your own suspicions, it would have never even come close to what fyodor was really doing. how were you to know that the same lips that whispered sweet songs of praise to you with a coquettish smile were the same ones that uttered a death sentence to his countless victims? and how were you to know that the steady hands that caressed your body so intimately had also touched numerous corpses? the husband that spoiled you on anniversaries and birthdays could not be the same man that was actively planning to cover the world with the blood of sinners.

for the most part, you liked nikolai too. he was a little odd, considering his getup and his tendency to seemingly pop out of nowhere, but he was good friends with your husband—dos, as he called fyodor—and your son loved playing with him. he didn't tell you what he did, either, though he let it slip that he worked very closely with your husband. he refused to explain fyodor's unexplained disappearances, though he would often stop by to show your son a new magic trick when fyodor was gone for a little too long, just to reassure you a little.

nothing really gave it away; not the amused expression when you told him to stay safe on his way, nor his eccentric coworkers. you were just happy that your husband always came home to you, and never failed to remind you that he loved you. there were, perhaps, more things that should have worried you. the way fyodor insisted that you keep your social circle small, or the frustrated look in his eyes that was beginning to appear more and more often. even the peculiar things he was beginning to tell you.

you're lying in fyodor's lap, mind drifting between sleep and consciousness as he looks at you with an unreadable expression. then, perhaps noticing that you weren't completely asleep, a little smile appears on his face. "tell me," his voice is soft, but every word feels strangely heavy, "will you ever leave me?" you frown slightly, and he chuckles. "even if i did something you don't agree with?" you shake your head, "what's this about?" his smile widens, and he gently pinches your cheek. the look in his eyes is unnaturally cold. "it doesn't matter. either way...you don't have anyone else to turn to."

and you could have continued the way life was, with your mostly ordinary husband and your wonderful family. at least, until he turns up at your door after an especially long period of disappearance. you would be thrilled, normally, but you're much too shocked at the sight of your husband in what looks like a prison uniform to feel any relief.

[bob-artist]

Just found you via your funny dream comic. Good stuff 😆. Definitely gonna read the rest, and I was surprised you had your own website. Looks good on mobile too. I’ve got a comic that some friends keep trying to build me a site for but I’ve been telling them no because it seems like between webtoon and social media nobody is interested in personal sites anymore.

Have you noticed an uptick in engagement from your site? Would you recommend going that route? I’d like to hear your thoughts.

I’m also interested in how you decided to build/host it, if that question isn’t too lame.

Anyway, glad I found your comics!

Ah thank you for checking out Into the Smoke's website!!

Oh, I have SO many thoughts about independent webcomic sites and why people should have them. I have so many thoughts, and I'm so so sorry.

Why did I decide to have my own webcomic site?

First of all, this is not a lame question and I wish we could all have this conversation more often, so I could maybe write just a paragraph instead of this whole dissertation!

1. Because I lived through webcomics history.

I launched my first webcomic in 2011. I watched the webcomics scene shift over the years from self-hosted sites to third party sites, and I saw what it meant for independent creators. We lost vital infrastructure, relationships, habits, and control over our own work. I think self-hosted sites are an important backbone for creators, even if/when their largest *numbers* come from a third party site.

We’re all supposed to be helping each other, not fighting each other to satisfy the algorithm. Our early tools (webrings, link trades, comic databases, sharing each other’s posts) were small but meaningful, and they also helped us maintain a community mindset in a long and sometimes lonely line of work. When we started leaning on hosting sites, we let a lot of those tools and relationships decay. And now a lot of people are locked into imbalanced relationships with hosting sites that leave them with very little agency and control over their work and how it’s shared (or isn’t shared).

Hosting sites are great for removing barriers to entry (cost/time to build a site). And a lot of them have large built-in audiences. But the big ones aren’t run by people who care about creators. They’re designed to extract the maximum value from your work while giving you the least they can get away with. Use them if you want (I do), but don't be dependent on them.

2. Comics are the main thing I do for a living, and a website gives me the tools to promote my work and build relationships with my readers.

Most apps and third party sites actively prevent or suppress these things. On your own site, you can share all the info you want about your upcoming Kickstarter, your tradpub book release, your merch, etc. You can collect email addresses for your newsletter. You can literally just talk about your weekend, and you’re not gonna have a 150-character limit.

Yeah, not everyone wants to read a wall of text (ha ha...), but acting like a person reminds readers to treat you like a person. This is one of my main gripes with the apps and social media - they suppress human connection and present you like a cog in their machine that only exists to churn out free content.

3. I have a consistent home base and full control over how my work is displayed.

I don’t have to fight against an app that’s trying to direct my readers toward whichever content is most profitable for them. On an app, the readers “belong” to them, not you. (Who has their email addresses?) So if I'm putting effort into promoting my comic, I'm promoting my own site. (oh look, I just did it.)

Hosting sites/apps aren't designed to showcase your work. They showcase the app’s collection, and they're designed to keep readers on the app, jumping from creator to creator. This can help readers find you, but it also devalues your work and dilutes its impact.

And the app might not show your work to anyone anyway. Tapas is a great example; they recently redesigned their site to prioritize their Originals, and independent creators are hidden away in a “community” tab with barely any discoverability anymore. This is always the struggle on a third party site.

4. I hate censorship.

Into the Smoke is Teen 16/17+ and Demon of the Underground is R/18+. My comics aren’t even explicit, but I still can’t post my true, uncensored vision for either story on third party apps governed by Apple’s App Store and Visa/Mastercard’s tight content restrictions.

If webcomics exist exclusively on apps with heavy censorship, we’ll never have the diversity of storytelling and freedom of expression that’s necessary for groundbreaking or subversive art to happen. And that’s bad for everyone.

Adult brains need to engage with adult concepts. Difficult and triggering topics need to be explored in creative spaces. Artists need freedom to stretch their creative muscles without falling into the damaging patterns of self-censorship that come from having to tiptoe around arbitrary platform rules.

We can’t let the rules of like 3 American companies dictate what every webcomic reader around the world is allowed to read.

5. An independent website can’t easily be taken away from you.

Just make regular backups! You can always move to a new web host and redirect URLs if needed, and you won't lose your readers. On the other hand, you can easily lose the bulk of your audience on a third party site based on circumstances outside your control.

Let’s talk about Smack Jeeves, a formerly popular webcomic hosting site that was bought out and then shut down, leaving lots of cartoonists homeless. Or we can talk about the Tumblr NSFW purge of 2018, where I lost a huge chunk of my first webcomic’s following and most of my webcomic mutuals, even though my own account stayed within the rules. Or Musk buying Twitter, the platform where I once found my literary agent through a publishing event but now get no traction at all.

Have I noticed an uptick in engagement from my site?

I don’t have analytics on my site yet. But, up until a few days ago, that's where people were reading, thanks to my own efforts and the support of my comics friends and all of y’all who shared my ITS posts. (THANK YOU ALL!) I didn't have any discoverability on Webtoon or Tapas yet.

I got 10-15 new patrons between May 25 and June 5. Up until a few days ago, I even had more ITS newsletter subscribers than Webtoon subscribers.

What happened a few days ago is my Webtoon mirror suddenly blew up with 100+ new subs a day. I don’t know where I’m being featured, but I know I’m only getting those readers because Webtoon suddenly chose to grant me visibility. That can end just as instantly with an algorithm tweak or them deciding not to show my comic anymore. (When my first webcomic was in one of their pay programs in 2018, I went from $300 or $400/month to $0 overnight due to a policy change.) So I’ll enjoy it while it lasts, but I won't de-prioritize my website.

The new Webtoon readers are awesome and supportive, and I’m 100% thrilled to have them. But the Webtoon influx isn't resulting in a Patreon influx like my website launch did. I wouldn't expect it to, this early in the story. But it's consistent with my past experience polling my patrons: even when 50% of my readers came from the apps, 90% of patrons read on my website. (Your audience may vary.) And since I depend on crowdfunding for my comic, that's important to me.

Would I recommend going the route of having your own site?

For anyone who’s just testing the waters with webcomics, it might be overkill.

But for anyone who’s committed to their webcomic, I recommend having your own site AND mirroring on every third party site you can, provided you’re cool with their terms of service. It's important to meet readers where they are. Let those hosting sites lend you their readers. Some readers will even want to visit your home site where they can read ahead, read the uncensored version of your comic, get more info, or sign up for your newsletter.

Just remember, no one will discover your independent website all on their own. They’ll only find it through the work you put into promotion. But the reader that cares enough to come to your home site is a special type of reader.

So how do you get readers to visit an independent webcomic site?

Find your allies

These are people who work in similar areas as you who want to help you succeed, and whom you want to help succeed. Chat with each other, help each other, promote each other, boost each other, link to each other (psst, my links page just went live!), be there for each other - behind the scenes and in public.

God, I am SO bad at approaching people, but this is important, and not just for comics.

Be part of a community

Really, this is an extension of the above point. It's easier to find your allies if you're part of a community.

I’m a member of the Cartoonist Cooperative, and they’re a GREAT group of talented people all across the comics industry. The mission of @cartoonistcoop is to help create better conditions for comic workers through cooperation and collective action, and I’ve found so much help from them with Into the Smoke and comics as a whole. (JOIN! They're great!!)

The goal of the co-op isn't to drive traffic to your website. But being part of it has helped me at every level of crafting my comic, including promoting it and making it good enough that I can take pride in promoting it. And it's helped me ground myself as part of a community after I lost so much of mine in past years of burnout and platform enshittification.

Another option: @spiderforestcomics is a great webcomic collective full of supportive creators, and I believe they’re open to submissions till the end of June! They also have an awesome collaborative community mindset, and I've known some of their members for years.

Direct readers to your RSS feed and newsletter

Getting readers to your website is great, but they need to keep coming back for future updates, and it’s hard to remind them without an app notification. You may need to teach younger readers what RSS feeds are. Inoreader is a great RSS reader for the 2024 era.

The dreaded SEO

That’s Search Engine Optimization - optimizing your website so that people can easily find your comic via search engines. That’s a topic for another day, but feel free to research it!

Paid promo

This can be tricky, and I really only recommend spending promo money if you’re making a comic on a professional basis, because then it’s an investment you'll make back.

That said, Comicad.net is a great independent site where you can buy banner slots on other creators’ sites. I just ran small campaign myself. (And no, I won’t ever be offended if you outbid me!)

I haven’t bought any Tumblr Blaze slots, but I got BOPPed (blaze other people’s posts; apparently that’s what it’s called, lol) once on this account and once on a side blog, and both were highly impactful. (Thanks, friend!!) So I consider it a solid option, and it looks really cheap compared to other social media sites. (Never trust Meta.)

And where can you learn more about building a webcomic site?

I know you didn't ask, but if I'm gonna share all this, I might as well give folks a starting place to actually do the thing.

Now, I’m *bad* at offering cheap and easy web solutions. My specialty is hard and expensive. But my one piece of advice: PLEASE make your webcomic site mobile friendly for the current generation of readers! When we talk about barriers to entry, remember that more people have phones than computers, and many can't afford computers.

Anyway, here's some webcomic website resources from OTHER people!

The Cartoonist Co-op has LOTS of great resources on building webcomic sites! Several of them! Check them all out!

@screentonescast has a podcast episode on webcomic web design and one on RSS feeds!

@jeypawlik also has a great comic about how RSS feeds work.

So, congrats if you made it this far. Go make a website, y'all! And if you read any indie comics, go visit the creator's website!

[dira333]

Of Tremors and believing in Love - Yaku x Reader

Yaku’s not sure what he expected. 

Maybe some buff Russian guy like they show in action movies, or an elderly gentleman that makes him feel like a Celebrity with a private driver.

Not you. 

You’re gorgeous, even in the unforgiving light of the airport exit area, holding up a sign that spells his name in bright red Kanji. 

He swallows nervously, hands clammy with sweat as he approaches.

He hadn’t been that nervous, he thinks, leaving Japan for an unfamiliar country. It was Volleyball and he knew Volleyball. He could rely on his talent if everything else failed, and on his iron stomach to handle whatever the Russian kitchen was going to throw at him - Lev’s tales hadn’t left him with much hope.

But he’s never been that good at talking to girls and his perpetually single status is either a symptom or the cause of this predicament.

“Hi,” he greets you, voice breaking over that one-syllable word.

“Hi,” you smile and bow in greeting. “How was your flight? Are you hungry, tired, or anything else?”

Your Japanese is perfect. He can even hear hints of a Kansai dialect hidden somewhere in between.

“A little hungry,” he admits, “I… uh… I’m Yaku, by the way. Morisuke.”

He wants to facepalm so badly. Where’s his usual coolness? Where’s his confident tone?

“Sorry,” you apologize immediately, offering your name. “I got caught up in the moment. How about we grab something to eat and get to know each other?”

Yaku nods, glad that’s something he can answer without opening his mouth and making a fool of himself.

As it turns out, he was right.

You grew up in the Kansai region, moved to Russia with your parents when you were a young teen. 

He can’t help but search for familiarity in your features, half expecting to be reminded of Lev, or Alisa. He berates himself immediately. Just because you’re Japanese-Russian too doesn’t mean you have to look like everyone else who’s Japanese-Russian.

“How did they find you?” Yaku asks as he slips into the booth, “The agency, I mean.”

“Oh, I work for Tigr Ekaterinburg. I handled your contracts. They asked me if I would be willing to show you around and be a helping hand the first few months and I agreed. Japanese players are often polite and easy to work with. Do you think you’ll be able to handle the Russians though? They can be pretty rough.”

Yaku laughs. “I do think I can. I’ve played in quite a few different teams. My classmates called me Demon-Senpai.” He laughs again at the memory, fondness washing over him.

“Tell me more about that,” you ask, your question so unusually direct for the polite tone you’re using. You flip open the Menu. “I’ll be ordering. Any allergies?”

-

“So you’re the Mom-friend of the Group,” you summarize, popping the last tiny pancake, or Syrniki, as they are called, into your mouth. You chew slowly, not letting him out of your sight.

“That’s interesting. I’ve never met a male Mom-friend.”

“I’m not-” he tries to defend himself, even though he’s heard it often enough from Kenma and Kuroo, Kai and Lev. “You really think so?”

“There’s an easy test,” you tell him with a smile. “Did you know I have actually a headache? It’s been bothering me all day.”

Worry washes over him. “Really? God, why didn’t you say so? You should rest then. Did you drink enough water?”

You laugh, the sound tinkling around him like droplets of silver.

“You failed the test. Mom-Friend detected.”

He pouts and you still. For a moment, no one speaks.

Eventually, you move again, clear your throat, and take a sip of your drink.

“Sorry,” you say. “I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“I’m not offended.”

“Good.” You nod, your voice calm and distant. “If you want, I can show you you’re apartment now.”

- - -

Yaku’s not the first guy you get to drive around town nor will he be the last, probably.

You drop him off at his apartment, show him the few things he could have trouble with - no rice cooker in the kitchen and the bathroom works a little different over here - and leave for the office, determined to finish that project you’d been working on all week.

Hopefully, work will flush out whatever’s bothering your heart, causing it to race at the adorable little pout on Yaku’s lips.

You told him you’d pick him up later for a night out, so you leave a little early - still not done with that damned project - to put on something fancier, add some smoke to your make-up.

Yaku’s waiting in the lobby when you step in and you swallow thickly at his sight.

Most athletes like to dress as casually as they can in their free time. Jeans and a shirt are often the most you get to see. Yaku, however, is dressed in an expensive suit, hair combed back. 

You can tell he’s not a stranger to wearing suits, moving just as easily in it as he did in his tracksuit earlier.

He gets up before you can call out his name, cheeks turning a soft pink at your sight. 

That eases your nerves a little, knowing you still have at least some effect on him.

“Ready to go?” You ask, trying to ignore the way he takes you in. There’s a warmth in his eyes that’s a little unnerving. 

-

He’s even prettier under the twinkling lights of the city, leaning in when you explain something, expensive Cologne wafting around you.

“Do you want to dance?” You ask, after you’ve wandered through the city center. “Or something to eat?”

Yaku ponders the question for a moment.

“How about a bite first? I’d love to take you out to dance, though.”

His words leave you flushed and angry. That’s not what you meant, but correcting him would sound weird. 

When you suddenly have to weave through a group of tourists, his hand presses against the small of your back, warm and steady, and in way you don’t want it to. But you can’t bring yourself to tell him off, nor to move away from his touch.

-

“First year was tough”, he remembers over a bowl of Pelmeni, “Kuroo and I didn’t get along.”

“Who was Kuroo again?” You ask, offering him one of your Pirozhki.

He swipes his thumb over his phone and turns it, so you can see a picture of his old Volleyball team. Yaku’s easy to find, almost the smallest of the group. He’s grown since then, though not much, if you had to guess.

“That’s Kuroo. I know his hair looks awful, but he claims he can’t do anything about it and that it’s natural. He was our Captain in our third year. The pudding head next to him is Kenma, our genius setter. These two have been best friends since childhood.” 

He tells you each name, warmth in his voice as he remembers. It’s not hard to tell that they were close.

“Are you still in contact?” You ask, surprised when he nods. 

“With all of them?” His eyebrows wander up.

“Yes, why? Is that surprising to you?”

You feel caught and look away, but you’re unable to escape his eyes, it seems.

“A little,” you admit finally and hope that he drops it. 

Thankfully, he does.

.

Yaku’s easy to talk to. 

All too soon you find yourself walking out of that restaurant and into a nightclub, his head so close as he listens to your explanation that you could kiss him, if you wanted to, without even having to move much.

But you don’t. Because it would be weird, right? And unprofessional.

His hand is warm in yours as a new song starts and he pulls you in.

It’s a slow one and you can’t tell if that’s good or bad. 

The dance floor is packed and you’re soon pressed against him, your own heartbeat echoing in your stomach. There’s a tilt to his mouth that makes you wonder how it would taste and before you know you’re leaning in a little and he’s leaning in too.

His lips are soft and warm and he tastes like the wine you shared earlier.

His teeth graze your lower lip, just the faintest touch, but it shakes you out of your dream-like state better than a bucket of ice water ever could.

You snap back and purse your lips like they’ve offended you personally.

“I…” You hesitate, your voice breathless, “I’ll wait for you at the bar.”

.

There’s a tremor hiding in your bones.

You check your hands in the seconds it takes him to catch up to you, but you can’t tell from the outside. Good.

“I-”

“You can dance with someone else,” you tell him, voice as polite as can be. “I am only your guide, after all.”

“I don’t want to dance with anyone else.” He reaches for you but you step out of reach.

“Please,” you ask, but he shakes his head.

“Very well. Do you want to take a walk?”

.

The sky is clear above you, though it’s hard to see the stars beyond the glow of street lamps. 

Your hands are buried in the pockets of your jacket in case he tries to take one.

“Do you believe in love?” You ask after a minute when the street clears and you’re on your own. “Not in general, but in like… love for yourself?”

“Yeah.”

“Makes sense.”

“It does?” Yaku looks over, confusion written all over his face.

“Sure. You’re good-looking, smart, easy to talk to. It makes sense.”

He smiles, but your stomach churns violently.

“Yaku-san,” you stop, address him in the politest way you can. “I don’t believe in love. I am sorry I just kissed you. But I cannot offer you anything of that kind.”

Yaku’s quiet for a while. His face does not give anything away. 

Eventually, he nods.

“I understand. But we can be friends, right?”

“Friends as in you’re waiting for me to change my mind about it?”

“No.” He shakes his head. “Friends as in friends. I quite like your company, but I can deal with a rejection.”

You hesitate for a second before you nod.

“Friends would be nice.

- - - xxx - - -

“Have you eaten yet?” Yaku’s standing in the doorway to your office, two identical looking Bento Boxes in his hands.

“Eh?” You look up from your Desk. “No, but what are you doing here?”

“I figured. Want to share?”

You’re just about to decline when your stomach grumbles loudly. 

Yaku grins and steps closer. “I think that was a confirmation.”

-

“Hey,” Yaku’s grin is warm and inviting, his hair dripping wet. “We just finished training and the boys want to hit the city. Do you want to come along? I heard they have great Syrniki.”

He absolutely butchers the name and you can’t help but correct him.

“So?” He cocks his head to the side, waiting. “It’s just a hangout with the guys. You know at least one of them, well, besides me, I mean.”

“Yeah, sure, I’ll come.”

-

“Are you coming to the game this weekend?” Yaku asks as you meet him in the lobby. He always comes in early for extra training and while you haven’t yet figured out at what time he arrives, he’s already got your schedule memorized, waiting for you with a coffee and a pastry.

“I wasn’t planning to,” you admit, “My parents are coming into town. They’ve moved into the countryside a few years back.”

“Oh, that makes sense.” He nods. “I hope you’re having a great time together.”

“We will.” You take a sip of coffee and can’t help the teasing comment slipping through your lips. “Aren’t you going to tell me that you’re going to play much worse now that I’m not there to cheer you on?”

“Your presence or lack thereof isn’t going to affect my game,” he tells you, voice serious, confidence so deeply laced into his tone it catches your breath, “But I prefer to celebrate my wins and losses with the people I care about.”

“O-oh…” you stammer, suddenly overwhelmed, “I… guess that makes sense. W-we can celebrate on Monday.”

-

“Girl, I don’t know how you do it,” your best friend comments and you can almost smell the alcohol on her breath - through the phone. “You decline every offer to have a relationship yet you have these fine men running after you? Why does this never work for me?”

“You can’t say no.”

“True.” She chuckles dryly. “But it’s a shame you didn’t get to watch that game. He was looking fine. I might not have understood all that much but he was doing well. At least if you believe the commentators.”

“I’m sure he did his best,” you tell her calmly, yet unable to keep from biting down on your fingernail. 

“Don’t worry, I recorded it. I’m sending the file over now.”

Your home computer dings with an incoming mail and you heave a sigh. 

“I don’t have time to watch it tonight. My parents just left and I’m exhausted.”

“Don’t tell me they asked you about grandchildren…”

You sigh again and she laughs. 

“Go, take a nap. The world will look better in the morning.”

And it will… but you can’t help yourself, press play instead of going to bed as you intended.

And your friend is right. 

Yaku looks good. He moves with the calm confidence of a professional.

If you could convince yourself that attraction is all it takes to lead a healthy relationship, you might have taken a leap of faith. 

-

Staying up late comes back to bite you in the butt.

No amount of concealer can cover the dark rings under your eyes.

“Long weekend,” Yaku asks when he meets you in the Lobby, coffee and a pastry in hand.

“Mhm,” you nod and take a large sip of coffee, hoping for it to fuel you. It doesn’t.

You chat for a bit but you need to get going and so does he, so you part with the quickest of hugs.

There are only a few steps leading down to the elevators, steps you’ve taken day after day after day for years, but today, you miss the last one.

Your right foot lands wrong, pain shoots through your ankle and you yelp. Your half-empty coffee cup goes flying, just like your pastry and you can see the mess you’ve made but all you can do is cower and clutch your ankle.

“Are you okay?” Yaku’s voice cuts through the ringing in your ears. There’s worry in his eyes. It lights the cold fire of shame in your veins. God, you just rolled your ankle, there’s no reason to make a big fuss about it.

“Sure, yeah, all fine!” You tell him, grinding your teeth as you get up. Nausea wells up inside you but you swallow it down. 

“We should get it looked at,” Yaku insists, hands hovering just a few inches above your skin.

“Stop worrying!” You bite out, tone harsher than necessary. But he doesn’t flinch.

“I know it’s a lot, but it will only take a minute, okay?” He insists, voice warm and soft and calming, like hot cocoa on a cold day. You can feel the tremor coming back, want nothing more than to sink into him.

“I’m fine,” you insist, taking one cautious step. It hurts, but it’s nothing you can’t handle.

“Yeah, for now.” He follows you, bends faster than you to pick up the coffee cup and the pastry. Someone’s going to have to mop the floor, but Yaku’s already waving at the receptionist and you’re too focused on grinding your teeth against the pain to complain.

“Stop worrying about me, okay?! We’re not that close.”

Hurt flickers over his face like candlelight. 

“I’d do this for everyone,” he insists. “I don’t mess with accidents. Please? It’s only a short trip down the hall for a first check-up. If our doc thinks it’s nothing I won’t bother you anymore.”

You agree, mostly just to get this over with.

But it’s not nothing. 

.

You must have fallen asleep, face pressed against the window of his car, because his hand is warm against your cheek and your name falls softly from his lips.

“Yaku?” You ask and he nods. 

“We’re at the hospital. Can you walk?”

“Sure,” you insist, grind your teeth through the pain. Yaku must have seen through your lies, though, getting a wheeling chair at the next chance.

He’s with you through the whole ordeal and you hate it but you don’t ask him to leave you alone. His warm hand on your shoulder is the only thing that keeps you from crying.

He’s there until the very end when they plaster up your leg up to your knee and you can’t help but laugh at the fact that you’ve made it so far in life without a broken bone, yet a single missed step has changed it all.

“I’ll take you home now,” Yaku insists as soon as you’re back in his car. “Are you hungry? We can stop and get some food on the way.”

“I just want to sleep,” you admit. “Forget this happened.”

“I think that’s going to take some time. The plaster stays one for the three weeks.”

“Don’t remind me.”

.

It’s only when he parks in front of your apartment block that you realize.

You live on the fifth level. No elevator. 

Stubbornly you grab your crutches and move toward the first step when Yaku stops you. 

“Do you want to carry me up?”

“No!”

“Okay,” he nods. “But you can’t make that trek. Not today for sure, and not every day for the next three weeks. Do you have any friends you could stay at where that’s not a problem?

You hesitate. Most of your friends have similar apartments and if they don’t, they can’t offer more than an air-mattress on the floor for you to sleep on.

“You can sleep on my couch,” Yaku’s voice is low, soft, and casual. This is nothing big to him, not like it is to you.

“Or I carry you up and you have to take the next three weeks off because you cannot get up and down here without help.”

He’s right. 

And it’s not that you have to work, you’re pretty sure you classify for sick leave at this point, not to mention that you have enough vacation days saved to take off half of the time without a problem. 

In the end, you oblige. And because you want to pack your own things, you agree to a piggyback ride up the stairs.

If Yaku notices how your face is pressed into his neck, your tears soaking his shirt, he doesn’t mention it. His hands are warm and steady around your thighs and he carries you up without breaking a sweat, telling you a funny story to distract you all the way.

-

It’s weird. It’s cozy. It’s everything at the same time.

You get to go through his list watchlist - which feels more personal than going through his underwear drawer - and watch him prepare Dinner for the two of you. 

You sit naked in his bathtub - door closed of course - and open the bottles of shower gel and shampoo to sniff at them like the crazy person you are but when the door opens and you limp outside he’s sitting at his desk practicing Russian, not even sparing your scrubbed clean form a glance.

Yaku’s switched his routine without a second thought, makes breakfast at home now and drives you to work.

He’s the best friend one could ask for, a man so good you wouldn’t believe he existed without the proof you have. But he has a hissy fit in front of you when his friend from school makes a joke about his size. 

And maybe that’s the last straw, the last proof you needed. 

Because people aren’t just always good. People are people, human and fallible, and there’s always something that makes them break their perfect facade.

For you, it’s the pain of having to rely on someone else.

For Yaku, it’s the pain of being looked down on.

-

Tomorrow your cast will come off.

Tomorrow you will move back into your own apartment.

You’re not sure how things between the two of you will be then.

But since there’s no way to turn back time, to go back to how things were before, you can try and find out how things could be instead.

“Yaku?” You ask into the silence of an early night.

“Yeah?” His voice is scratchy and sluggish like he’s just on the border of sleep.

“Are you still awake?”

“Am now.”

“What if I changed my mind?”

“About what?”

“Love.”

Silence. Then, the rustling of sheets and soft steps on the floor.

“Are you being serious?” He asks and his voice sounds so warm and excited, so young and full of anticipation. 

“Yeah.”

“Well,” he clears his throat awkwardly, now only two steps away. “It depends if you mean me with that change of my mind. If you mean someone else I think I’ll have to get a lawyer before I answer.”

You laugh. “Yeah, I meant you.”

He giggles and there’s a slap as if he’s clamped a hand over his mouth urgently. 

You turn a little on the Couch, try to make him out in the dark.

“Do you want to cuddle?” You ask and there’s the swoosh of quick movement as he leaps onto the Couch.

“Boy, do I ever!”

- - - xxx - - -

The air smells the same, but maybe it’s just the airport. 

Yaku’s hand takes yours, warm and safe and well-known.

“Excited?” He asks, laughs when you pull a face.

“They’ll love you,” he insists and leans in to kiss you, not caring about all the people around you, or the fact that Kuroo’s going to be here any second to pick you up, or that your hair is a mess and you’re not wearing any make-up.

His lips are soft and warm, just like they were on that first night. 

You sink into the touch and when his teeth graze your lower lip and the tremors come, you embrace them.

Even if you shiver, you’ll never freeze.

You’ve got Yaku there to warm you, after all.

[midnightjewel]

Left and Right

BNHA boys when you don’t know left from right. Just silly stories.

Characters Included: Kirishima, Bakugo, and Denki

I can do a part 2 with more characters!

(Also, I really apologize for Kirishima’s being so short!! I feel kinda bad about that ngl)

Kirishima

You’re most certainly not going to be judged by him

He understands that not everyone is perfect and not everyone knows their left from their right and that’s okay!

“Babe, can you grab me my keys?” The redhead asks, already dressed in his hero attire and ready to head to the agency. He was ready to walk out the door when he realized that he sort of needed his keys to drive his car.

“Where?” You ask standing by the kitchen counter where they sat

“Your left” he says casually as you helplessly look for the keys, not knowing where he was referring to. He watched as you turned to the right “Uhm No-“ he almost laughed “Your other left” he snickered remembering how you can’t tell the difference off the top of your head

“Oh my god hold on” you say quickly as you use your thumb and index fingers to make the ‘L’ shape to figure it out

“Oh here” you smile and toss your fiancé his keys as he laughed his ass off “Yeah yeah have a great day” you laughed and rolled your eyes

Bakugo

Is genuinely confused and concerned that you do not know your left from your right, he just thought it was something everyone knew

He’s not meaning to be judgmental but he lowkey is…

He just can’t comprehend how someone couldn’t tell the difference

You were a fairly new driver as you were only 17. Of course you and Bakugo were the same age but he started driving as soon as he was of legal age to do so. You on the other hand had gotten a late start to the driving game.

But you had insisted on driving to your date which Bakugo opposed. It was his car after all, and you had just gotten your license like a month ago!

But against all odds here you were driving Bakugo’s pride and joy. His car was very important to him so you promised to be careful

“Okay, here you’re going to take a right” he tells you as he reads the gps for you so you could keep an eye on the road

“Okay sure” you smile as you turn the car left and the gps speaks ‘proceed to the route’ before rerouting you

“What?” You look confused at the gps as your boyfriend stairs at you in absolute disbelief

“I said right…” he continues to stare “hold the fuck up! Do you not know your left and right?!

“Don’t distract the driver” you remind him

“Yes it’s true” you sigh dramatically after a few minutes of silence “I don’t know my left from my right off the top of my head” you smirk as you glance over to see him shaking him head in disbelief

“Well, if anyone wouldn’t know their left from their right it would be you” he laughs to himself as you pretend to be offended but deep down, you knew that was him exposing himself and basically saying that he knows you well.

Denki

Be so for real, he doesn’t know his left from his right either! So who is he to judge?

He might laugh a bit because it’s relatable to get confused but he means no harm by it!

Class 1-A was training outside today with Class 1-B. It was always stressful when you weren’t training by yourself or with someone you were close to.

But you knew that in the real world, you couldn’t tell everyone to go away because you were nervous about people watching you! So you just had to suck it up for the 30 minutes.

“Okay (Name) and Kendo, you’re up first this morning, you will be competing against one another” Aizawa spoke in his usual melancholic tone and your stomach flipped.

“You go girlie” your best friend Mina, patted your back and gave you a wink “Thanks” you smile at her support

“So there are villain dummies that come forward on this track” Midnight begins to explain to you “They can come up on either side, and while it’s not realistic because these dummies can’t do anything besides bump into you, your job is to use your quirk as best as you can to knock it over” she says and you nod in understanding

“Start facing away from the two tracks” she added “I will tell out commands and that is practice for working with sidekicks and other pro hero’s” Midnight clarified “First one to knock one over gets a point for their class”

Surprisingly, you understood the assignment very well it was just executing it in front of both classes that made you feel weak in the knees.

“Good luck” Kendo smiles to you and you nod “To you as well” you grin

“Okay the machine is on!” Vlad states and midnight watches to command you “(Name)! On your left!”

“Which way?” You turn over your shoulder to the right and much to your dismay, you had found out that you were completely wrong “Oh what?” You look confused as you put up both hands to make the ‘L’ shape which brings out laughter in the students and your cheeks burn with shame

“(Name), you’re out until you can figure out your left and right” Aizawa heavily sighs and your boyfriend, Denki Kaminari could see the look on your face as you walked back to the group, you looked ready to cry from embarrassment

It just so happened that Denki was up next, and he may or may not have short circuited himself just to get the focus off of your mistake and make the students laugh at him instead of you. It did make you smile though, he was a good boyfriend.

[charles-eclair16]

Definitely not a blind date: Charles Leclerc

Pairing: charles Leclerc x fem!reader

Genre: fluff🌥️

About: When you go out with your best friend and it definitely doesn't turn into a blind date.

To say that your day was completely shit would be an understatement. From the moment you woke up it was clear that today just wasn't your day. You had tripped over the suitcase which was left open beside your bed, clothes all thrown around, hit your head because of it. The coffee cup had slipped from your hand spilling it all around your kitchen. The tires of your car were flat and you had reached your office 2 hours late which had caused the whole schedule to mess up. You had missed an important meeting, a casting and an interview for an upcoming project, which thankfully was rescheduled. The only thing which kept you sane was dinner planned with your friend, Kika. You had met through your agency when you were the manager taking care of the shoot she was a part of. You two had instantly hit it off and had been close friends since then. Although you both travelled to work you had managed to always keep in touch. The dinner plan was planned solely on the purpose of catching up and gossips.

"Hey kiks! Isn't it a bit early for our plan? You know what it's even better can we meet a little early? I had a shitty day and I just want to relax and forget about it!" You answered kika's phone opening the door to your flat.

"Hey babe! Oh I'm so sorry to hear that, are you okay?" You could hear her concern through the phone .

"yeah nothing I can't handle. Why did you call...I thought you were supposed to directly come over?" you asked as it was all planned before hand.

"yeah about that-uh Pierre came a day early and I wanted to ask if it was alright with you if he joined us? If not I can totally ditch him and we can have a girls night!" You laughed as you heard Pierre's offended voice in the background. Honestly you liked him, you had hung out with him many times and he made Kika happy, which was the most important thing...but today you wanted to go out with your best friend. But you hadn't met Pierre in so long that you missed his stupid face, having formed a friendship because of Kika.

" I'm not in the mood to third wheel you love birds kika!" You had laughed remembering the countless times they had dragged you out with them.

"And I'm not in the mood to babysit y/n!" You heard Pierre's voice through the phone. Yeah right!

"Remind me again who had locked himself in kika's balcony and had to call me for help?" You retorted laughing as you remembered Pierre's panicked call to you because kika was busy with her shooting.

"It was one fucking time! Anyways what am I hearing about you having a bad day? Karma finally catching up to you?" As if!

" Nothing your big head should be worried about!"

"Leave my head alone! Do you know what will fix your bad day into a good one?" You swear you could hear Pierre smirking and knew it wasn't anything good.

"What?"

"A good dic-"Pierre's voice was cut off by Kika's shout and then you heard Pierre's laughing in the background.

"Sorry about him y/n! Leave him and let's go out- just the two of us"

"What?! You know I'm right!" You blushed hearing him defend his weird logic.

"No! I don't want it Pierre!" You rejected his stupid idea as you went through your closet to find a dress.

"Anyways are you guys picking me up? We're going to the Elits right?" You mumbled holding a red dress against yourself as you checked it out. Looked good enough.

" I just had a wonderful idea! You said you didn't wanna third wheel right, y/n?"

"Uh-huh" you didn't know where he was going with this but you knew it wasn't good. Pierre and his ideas were always trouble!

"Why don't I invite my good friend to keep you company? Don't you think it's a good idea babe? You know he's been feeling down lately!" Pierre exclaimed turning the conversation towards kika.

What? His friend? Nope!

"Not happening Pierre! I'm not in the mood to go on a blind date" you stated.

"It doesn't have to be a blind date! We could just hang out together I promise, you'll like him!" You weren't sure about that, his friends could be anywhere from the most famous drivers to normal University students and you didn't know which was better.

"Who are you talking about?" It was Kika who asked the question on your mind.

"uh Charles" his name sounded familiar to you, having heard about him countless of times from Pierre, you knew he was also a formula 1 driver but for a different team then Pierre's.

"Oh! Oh my God! Are you thinking what I'm thinking?!" You could hear Kika's excitement through the phone as she and Pierre rambled excitedly.

" Umm guys?? What are we thinking about? A little out of the loop here?"

"Y/N! Oh we should totally go out together! I swear you'll enjoy yourself! Please say yes!"

And so the plan was made for the four of you to go out. You didn't know how kika always managed to persuade you into things like this. You smoothed out your red dress and locked your flat after you received a text from kika saying they were here.

"Y/N! I missed you!" Kika hugged you as soon as you stepped into the parking lot, squeezing you tightly.

"You don't welcome me like this!" You heard Pierre's voice as he came out of the car.

"Cry about it gasly!" You laughed. He huffed joining your hug.

"Let's go! We don't wanna be late!" You three piled on Pierre's car. You did notice the absence of the fourth person who was supposed to be here but didn't question it.

"Charles is going to meet us directly there" Pierre had informed you smirking. You nodded at him and then went back to talking with Kika.

It was an hour later that you saw him talking on the phone as he entered the arcade. A smile appeared as soon as he saw Pierre waving his hand. You couldn't deny that he was the most gorgeous man you had ever seen. He beelined towards where you all were standing, quickly hugging Pierre and then Kika. You stood quietly behind them feeling a little shy.

"You're late! You were supposed to come an hour ago!" Pierre laughed clapping his shoulder. He laughed, his dimples popping against his cheeks. As he looked up your eyes connected and you stopped breathing, your heart racing against your chest as you smiled bashfully at him. The answering smile he gave you was one of the most beautiful thing you had ever seen.

"She was the one I was telling you about Charlie! I'll introduce you, Charles this is Y/N and Y/N this is Charles my best mate!" He offered you his hand to shake and you prayed that yours wasn't sweaty.

"Hey! I've heard a lot about you! Nice to finally meet you, now I could finally put a face to your name!" He smiled, his easy going nature had instantly put you at ease.

"All good I hope! Also don't believe whatever Pierre says about me chances are he's totally lying!" You had said side eyeing Pierre knowing he liked to joke about you.

"Trust me I know!" Charles winked at you as you walked along.

"Let's go guys! Should we team up against each other and whomever loses its their treat!" Pierre exclaimed pointing towards the different set up of games.

"Oh! You're definitely going down!" Charles said as they discussed which games to play.

"They're so competitive! Are you alright? All good?" Kika asked standing beside you. You nodded and laughed as the two boys argued with each other.

"Okay! It's me and Kika against Y/n and you! Let's see who wins!" What?!

"Okay let's do it!" Charles said as he came towards you. Kika squeezed your hand before going towards Pierre. Honestly you couldn't even be mad because it was ridiculous how competitive they get over silly games.

"I could count on you, right?" Charles asked as you went to the basketball set up on the far end.

"yup! Although I'm not that confident with balls" you had mumbled before looking at him wife eyed, turning red at your own words. Charles laughed at your expression.

"Nice to know... don't worry I'll make it work!" You blushed at his words as he chuckled. Charles had scored a decent 200 points in the basketball game against Pierre's 190.

"Come on! You can do it!" He encouraged you as you went to stand against Kika. It was after you had scored 90 points and the last ball remained. You don't know if it was your nervousness because of which you had exerted a lot more force than necessary causing the ball to smack against the board and fly back and directly hit Charles.

"oh my god! I'm so sorry! Are you okay? Are you hurt?" You had quickly jumped back and went to Charles who stood covering his face. It didn't help that Pierre was literally on his knees because he was laughing so much.

"Pierre stop laughing and do something! Oh my god what if I broke his nose!? What if he can't drive again?!" You rambled holding Charles face as he stood groaning. What if he sues you for physical harm?!

" You weren't joking when you said you weren't good with balls huh?" You turned red on his comment, a little less worried when you saw that he was laughing.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to I swear!" You apologized holding his cheeks to see if there was any significant damage.

" It's fine. I'm good" You looked at him and saw him watching you with a smile. You dropped your hands from his cheeks suddenly feeling embarrassed.

"It was the best ever! I wish I could have recorded that!" Pierre was still chuckling. Yup this totally counts as your one of the most embarrassing moments of your life. You were never gonna live it down. See bad day!

After that you had refused to play any games involving balls which caused Pierre to snort and Charles to look at you teasingly. Apart from the ball incident, all the other games were okay and you participated along with Charles, his competitive nature rubbing off on you. At the end of the games you and Charles won by 15 points and you couldn't keep the smile off your face.

"What's your excuse Gasly? Not good enough?" You smiled smugly at him knowing it was clearly Charles who was the reason you won.

"Maybe but I can definitely handle a few balls!" You had shut up quickly after that.

"Should we go eat now?" Kika asked as you all walked out of the Arcade.

"yeah I'm starving! Should we go to the usual? Ah but Charles you came with your car right? Why don't you both meet us there?" Pierre grinned.

"Sure, if that's okay with you?" Charles inquired smiling at you. And that is how you ended up in Charles car. The car ride was a little awkward at first, with you still cringing remembering the ball incident.

"Are you honestly okay? I didn't hurt you too much, did I?" You asked worried.

"Oh don't worry about it! But I know Pierre's not gonna let me forget it!" You groaned knowing Pierre will bring it up any chance he gets. He laughed at your reaction.

"Tell me about yourself?" He blurted after a while causing you to look at him.

"umm what do you want to know?"

"Anything" he insisted. And that is how your conversation started which didn't end till you reached the sea facing restaurant and till then you got to know Charles and vice versa.

The dinner went smoothly with light chatter and teasing here and there. Pierre didn't let you forget the ball incident casually ordering cheese balls for you so that "you could handle balls better"- his words.

At the end of the night you were glad that you decided to come out with them. Your bad day was forgotten in the back of your mind as you laughed at the stories shared by Charles and Pierre. You took pictures to remember the day and ended the night with a promise to hang out together next time when the boys came back for holidays.

The next morning you woke up to Charles following you on Instagram and a mention from Kika's story. And a message from kika asking how was the blind date to which you had answered- it definitely wasn't a blind date.

[esmiara]

As promised, let me introduce you my two beloved BSD OCs:

Who are they?

Basically, Lewis and Antoine are two friends traveling around the world to discover exciting places while avoiding various government forces (more on that later). Though not related to the main story of BSD, they do know about organisations like Port Mafia and the Agency, mainly from what they heard in the streets and read in the newspapers since they arrived in Yokohama. However, they do prefer to not get anyone involved in their issues, nor do they really want to get involved in anyone else’s.

Lewis Carroll

Based on the author of Alice in Wonderland, Lewis was a man in his thirties with a fancy mind. As a child, he once had a wild imagination feeding his ability Wonderland (again, more on that later) but due to social and family pressure, he got forced upon a path of logic and perfection, now making it hard for him to think outside the box. Thus crushing his past self involuntarily and putting chains on his own mind in order to protect himself from outside complaints. As an adult, he became a plain math teacher for children, with a quite boring life. That is, until he met one certain child in London.

Their meeting

“Draw me a sheep.” said the unknown child out of the blue.

Lewis was stunned. He didn’t knew what to respond at first to this child, which he thought was one of his students. But when he put more thought on it, he didn’t looked like any child he had at the time. Who might have been this strange blond kid with unkept clothes? He decided to learn more about him, worried he may have lost his parents somewhere. However, as they talked, he quickly understood he didn’t had any. He simply didn’t knew about any “parents”. Actually, he didn’t knew much about the world itself either.

“Draw me a sheep!” repeated the child after a while of interrogative discussion about who he was, where he came from etc....

Lewis gently asked why such a demand, as he didn’t want to offend this possible lost orphan.

The boy fell silent. Then spoke again, a sad emptiness darkening his young blue eyes.

“I want a warm friend to bring with me” he simply responded.

Their exchange may have been succinct up to this point, but it was clear to Lewis that he was no normal child. As the boy seemingly didn’t have a name, Lewis gave him the name of one of his most beloved book’s author. The character of that one book simply reminded him of the boy.

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

More based on the Little Prince’s main character than the actual author, Antoine was an enigmatic individual with the physical appearance of a young boy. Nobody knows of his real age, not even himself. However, most may have theorized that he at least was around for at least a few decades, if not centuries perhaps. One day found and caught by the french government in his - supposedly - hometown, he had no memories of his time before then, except for some vague fragments. He mostly remembered about this laboratory he was brought in, with a lonely room where he would occasionnally meet strangers dressed in white. Despite the many uncertainties surrounding him, Antoine was still of great interest for scientists. He didn't seemed to physically age at all. Could he hold the secret of cells regeneration or even immortality? They soon found out he did age but at a very slow pace, thus looking unchanged for many years.

Curious about this plausible new ability, they decided to make him meet a young girl, who would share his room from now on. This one girl was quite arrogant at first. Antoine didn't really like her attitude but she was the only other person he could befriend. So they did. They soon became friends. Then they learned more about the truth, may it be this girl's past, snatched from her orphanage to become a lab rat as well, or the whole reason why she was here with him in the first place.

It was all because of the young girl's ability. One that would let her copy another one and make it her own. They apparently wished to make a copy of test subject B612′s power in order to "save it” somewhere and be able to experiment on it without having to risk the boy’s life. But things didn't turned out like they wanted as the girl began to crumble under some unknown sickness. Her body couldn't handle Antoine's ability, so it seemed, and she quickly became unable to move. So she made a promise with Antoine:

“Be my eyes and explore the outer world, okay dumby?” she said, with little breath she had left.

A promise reminiscent of the one where they would explore and see the world together. One where he would do so if she couldn't follow, to make her dream come true even when she became a star.

Their abilities

Little prince

No one really knows the details about Antoine's ability. Everything we know for sure is that his body has a very long lifetime, yet not immortal. He is destined to die of aging one day and is still weak to any wound like anyone else. However, we did notice Antoine's body starts to produce a faint glow whenever he gets sick or when his life is in danger in general. Not that it really helps at all though.

Wonderland

Lewis' ability is a bit complex and confusing, much like Alice in Wonderland's whole world.

In theory, Wonderland is quite simple: it allows its bearer to create anything he thinks to be a nonsense, something that is normally impossible. It could be seen as an area surrounding the user, in which he can create anything he wants, as long as it meets the proper requirements (being a "nonsense").

However, as the whole definition of "nonsense" depends on the user's mind, one could have a hard time creating anything. As such, what could be a nonsense to someone isn't necessarily one for Lewis. He is still quite a peculiar man after all.

A strange man, but with many restrictions on his mind and imagination. As he was forced to think with logic for the most part of his life now, he can't stop asking himself about the specifics of one’s question. Where a visible nonsense would occur, Lewis' mind would subconsciously ponder over what could make it truly real or impossible. If he can't get proper answers to those questions, then it can't happen either.

The beginning of their adventures

As they became much closer as people who somehow understood each other, Lewis began to be more friendly with the child, rather than looking like a mere adult talking to a little one. He saw himself in his struggles. He saw a young mind, much like his own a long time ago, slowly getting crushed by adult's expectations and limiting his own thoughts. He couldn't let the same thing happen twice when they still had a choice. So he encouraged him to get creative and let free of his imagination, with no worries about exterior opinions.

One day however, they suddenly got caught off guard by militaries sent by the french government as well as some members of the Order of the Clocktower, there to retrieve the unknown child for their own purpose instead. It was at that time that Lewis was finally able to make use of his ability once more after so many years. Inspired by Antoine’s naturally spoken nonsense, he unleashed Wonderland in order to escape. This also put a permanent stop to Lewis’ normal way of life, as he now was as searched for as Antoine was. It was time for a involuntary trip around the world, it seemed. But this time, Antoine wasn’t alone anymore.

[whatsupwalnut]

Painland Week Day 2: Myths/Legends

@ deathsankh: lmao does Edwin Payne rly think i cant see him 😂

@ deathsankh: poor kid’s been in hell for 73 years and he comes right back to school? NERD

@ deathsankh: omg he made a friend, i love this for him

@ deathsankh: his lil friend is cute but imma let them cook 🙏

@ deathsankh: bumped into the boys again today, they brought me an offering

@ deathsankh: little girl didnt know she was dead, poor thing

@ deathsankh: i can’t share deets (thanks hipaa) but she died in her apartment and she’s been stuck there for decades

@ deathsankh: they played a game with her and suddenly her soul is calling to me??? okay boys, go offff

@ deathsankh: they thought i couldnt see them BEHIND A DESK lmaooooo 

@ deathsankh: these new kids crack me up

@ deathsankh: the dead boys are still in that apartment, they can’t hide for shit

@ deathsankh: 🏅 congrats to the worst to ever do it 🏅

@ deathsankh: they sent me two more souls in the past month and they’re still scared of me

@deathsankh: we’re colleagues now darlings, have fun out there 💅

@ deathsankh: stop, the little dead boys

@ deathsankh: im obsessed

@ deathsankh: they started a “detective agency” and ive gotten like 16 tributes from them so far

@ deathsankh: and get this

@ deathsankh: they’re calling it

@ deathsankh: THE DEAD BOYS DETECTIVE AGENCY 😂😂

@ deathsankh: like that’s not gunna attract attention from the afterlife

@ deathsankh: i put my contacts on notice, hands off unless they go thru me

@ deathsankh: the night nurse could be a problem but who’s gunna say no to me 💅

@ deathsankh: these boys are lucky i like they, they literally freed a ghost IN THEIR OFFICE tonight

@ deathsankh: like im not gunna sense them hiding on the windowsill 🙄

@ deathsankh: i should have said BOO right before i took Wilfred 😂 but u know im too profesh

@ deathsankh: i guess the dead boy detectives got spooked bc now they’re in port townsend??? 

@ deathsankh: BITCH IM EVERYWHERE 😂😂

@ deathsankh: i gotta call my girl Lilith, she was out there last time we spoke and it’s been too long

@ deathsankh: their little friend kinda reminds me of her

@ deathsankh: these boys stay getting themselves into situations ong

@ deathsankh: i cant talk specifics but that dad was a piece of work

@ deathsankh: im only sorry i couldnt get to him myself.

@ deathsankh: Lilith is Not Doing Well, please reach out if you have her info 🙏

@ deathsankh: shit is POPPING OFF in port townsend

@ deathsankh: why cant these kids take a proper holiday

@ deathsankh: night nurse is ON MY ASS like i don’t already know about this

@ deathsankh: she takes this shit too seriously lmao

@ deathsankh: YO

@ deathsankh: HELL????

@ deathsankh: HITTING UP MY CONTACTS ASAP @DESPAIR KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR A SAD NERDY KID IN UNDERWEAR YOU’LL KNOW THE ONE

@ deathsankh: oh shit what up @simonpages 

@ deathsankh: Thank you to everyone who reached out to Lilith, including the dead boy’s little friend! She’s doing much better now and hell has a new resident :) 

@ deathsankh: NOT LILITH lmao my bad 😂

@ deathsankh: the boys are out of hell but everyone is still sad??? they said their neighbor died but i didnt hear anything? mods????????????????????????????????????

@ deathsankh: this one is out of my jurisdiction gl out there boys 🫡

@ deathsankh: whole squad is back in London

@ deathsankh: the medium’s parents are annoying i need to give them a buzz…

@ deathsankh: NOT LIKE THAT u know i can’t take ppl before their time, but like…

@ deathsankh: they need a lil reminder that im coming :) 

@ deathsankh: i gotta take the night nurse out for drinks bc she is STRUGGLING @ThePrincipal u crazy for this one queen 😂😂 girls night soon?

@ deathsankh: fr tho does nn think i look at all that paperwork bc LMAO

@ deathsankh: the tweedy one loves it tho have fun king

@ deathsankh: like im not gunna approve the asylum paperwork sksksksks

@ deathsankh: omg they got the news and the whole squad is crying in the club 

@ deathsankh: even the night nurse lmao im never letting her live this down

@ deathsankh: maybe i shouldnt have delivered the news personally, i think i almost killed the boys again 😬 my bad yall

@ deathsankh: was anyone surprised the curly one kissed the tweedy one when i told them 😂

@ deathsankh: took them long enough tbh 😻

[peony-always]

For the main man's birthday, (and after reading so many great stories from others celebrating him!!), I thought I would give it a little go in honor of my husband

a snippet in which Bkg is working on his birthday :P (1.4k)

25. Twenty-five years of life, twenty-five Happy Birthday bro!!!! texts from Eiji since 6 a.m., and about 25 seconds left until Bakugou lost his composure and damaged something that would be a pain in the ass to apologize for and replace.

It wasn't that he minded working on his birthday, he really didn't. He had worked on his birthday for the last three years, so it wasn't that.

It wasn't that he minded all of Eiji's obnoxious texts, forcing him to acknowledge the day his hag mother had brought him into the world.

It wasn't even that his dumbass friends had suckered him into going out for dinner and drinks after his shift, because, even after all his blustering about, deep down he was pleased that he still had friends who would do things for him, go out of their way.

No, it was none of those things that had the 2nd Street flower shop in danger of having its windows blasted out and flowers burnt to a crisp.

It was you.

For the past few months, you had been terrorizing the Musutafu police force and Pro Heroes alike. A vigilante quirk user who was somehow getting to crime scenes before the police or heroes were even notified of them, leaving criminals tied up and subdued before fleeing the scene.

You were quick, none of the heroes dispatched could catch you. Bakugou had tried multiple times, and each time made him more eager to fight you again than the last. Since he had encountered you the most, he had been the one tasked with providing your description to the other heroes and police who patrolled downtown Musutafu.

He had described your white and gold hooded catsuit, utility boots, smug smile, and gold mask as you glanced back to taunt him, only

He wanted desperately to be the one to unmask you, to beat you at your little game of trying to one-up his colleagues. So, he had been keeping track of sightings of you, playing cat-and-mouse, you tempting him to come out and play just as well as you eluded him.

He had felt his lip curl up into a feral grin half an hour earlier when he had hear that you had been sighted over the police scanner in his office. Someone had seen you on 4th Street, and as soon as he heard that, Katsuki was off. 4th Street was minutes from his agency, and he cut the time in half by propelling himself through the sky, keen eyes watching for any sign of the suit he had committed to memory.

Then, he spotted you. Running down 2nd Street, keeping close to the alleyways and storefronts.

He sent himself downward in a flash, landing a couple feet behind you, the impact from his landing causing you to stumble and look back.

It was then that he caught a glimpse of your eyes, wide and sparkling in the afternoon light. They reminded him of a bunny. You looked a little afraid, and he felt his snarl grow into a grin, chasing after you. He had always taken pleasure in being a predator, hunting down his prey with ease.

The set of your shoulders changes as you regain your composure, calling over your shoulder to him," Working on your birthday, Dynamite? I'm flattered that I'm that important to you."

Bakugou nearly rolls his eyes at your taunting,"A big bad hero comes chasin' after ya and ya get scared, ya start runnin'? What happened to all that bravado you had for the police, ha?"

You said nothing, spinning on your heel to face him, nearly causing him to careen into you.

You lithely dodge out of his way, your knees bent, poised to run again as you speak, "I'm not afraid of you or any other pros. All you've done so far is let me down with your pathetic attempts to find me and have me brought in for doing a better job at protecting people than you."

Bakugou snarls at your words, lunging at you with his hand poised to strike, "You don't get to say shit about pros, we ain't the ones hidin' and creepin' around."

You laugh, dodging him again. You can tell he's starting to get frustrated that you're so hard to nab.

He's still enjoying himself though, examining your body as he sizes you up again, squaring off to face you once more. You're built very pretty. You look both strong and delicate, soft and hard. He can't help but let his gaze linger on your lips as his eyes make their way to your face. He notices that they look plush and supple as you speak again, "Why won't you people just leave me alone? I'm not doing anything wrong aside from not adhering to the policies of your Hero Commission. I don't hurt anyone, I capture villains, I cause thousands less than you do in property damage..."

The Bakugou remembers why he's there, to capture you and put an end to your vigilanteism. Feining anger beyond what he really feels, he goes for an obvious lunge before switching up at the last moment to sweep your legs.

It catches you off-guard, sending you onto your back on the cool concrete of the sidewalk. You quickly grab his ankle, pulling him down so he can't pin you, but he lands on top of you anyway.

You freeze, his face inches from yours, his breath warm on your cheek. His body is pressed right to yours and you can feel every hard plane of him. Your eyes lock for a moment, and in another life you think you could reach out and stroke his cheek, thread your hand through his hair, get lost in his garnet eyes.

Your breath hitches as you remember that you aren't in another life, you're in real life. You hitch your leg around his, flipping him onto his back. He still looks a bit dazed by your proximity, and you take your chance, hopping up as he moves to grab you again, but you're already out of his reach, turning away to take off, but not before you grin, saluting him and letting out a quick, "Happy birthday, Dynadick." and tossing down a smoke bomb, disappearing into the black cloud that emits from it.

He growls, moving in your direction, but he can't find you in the smoke, and once it clears, you're nowhere to be seen.

Frustrated and a little confused, he walks back to his agency, opting to take the extra few minutes to go over the fight in his head, trying to figure out what it was about you that had bewitched him so thoroughly when you took him down. Was it your quirk, unknown to the Hero Commission other than that you had one? Or was it your eyes, the life-filled sparkle of them as they searched his own?

It didn't matter, in the end. All that mattered was that he caught you, and brought you to justice soon.

He spends the rest of the day at the agency, turning off his police scanner and busying himself with paperwork until he gets the inevitable text from Eiji asking him to head over to the restaurant they were having dinner at.

He sighs, running a hand through his hair as he heads to the underground parking deck. He moves to open his car door, pausing and immediately going on alert when he sees the bright orange sticky note stuck to the handle of the driver's side door.

He pulls it off, spinning around to check the parking garage. When he sees no one, he turns back around and glances down at the note, which reads, 'Happy Birthday, Dynadick.'

He yanks open the door, expecting something dangerous to come flying out at him, but nothing does. Instead, as he peers into the car, he notices a smell that wouldn't emanate from his car normally, and as he glances down, he sees the source.

A single orange cupcake, complete with the stupid cartoonish cupcake toppers his publicist had bullied him into licensing to local bakeries.

You had even had the foresight to wrap it into a napkin, somehow knowing what a neat freak he was.

He gingerly set the cupcake into one of his cupholders and got in, a little more eager to encounter you again.

ahhhh I had no idea how to end this but I hope it was okay!!

[texas-bitch-yee]

Dazai Crush headcanons

Bc I love crush headcanons they are clearly my fav if you scroll through my blog

Definitely a you fell first he fell harder type of moment

Even tho he’s a flirt i don’t think he gets too many crushes.

You would probably start out as friends and as he grows closer he starts to catch feelings. I feel like he’s the type to need to true connection with someone to get a crush. Someone he realizes he can be his true self around and not keep up his facade.

Once the realization hits he’ll need a little bit to process his emotions.

After he accepts his emotions he’ll definitely make an effort to be by you as much as he possibly can. You’re going on your lunch break how about I come with you? You’re going to the park on Saturday what a coincidence I was totally planning on going to the park on Saturday too.

Will try his best to make you laugh so he can see you smile.

Would try to woo you by showing off his wit. “Oh you love chocolate?? Well did you know in 1865-“

The agency would definitely know he’s crushing and yosano and ranpo ship y’all. Definitely egg yall on. “Dazai your outfit looks amazing today! What do you think , ____?”

Dazai would definitely throw flirty comments around but I feel like you wouldn’t take it seriously bc he’s dazai. But what you didn’t notice was he’s no longer flirting with anything that breathes the same air as him. Just you.

Dazai is definitely a lover of physical touch so I can see him ‘accidentally’ bumping into you or putting his hand on your shoulder. Taking something you hand him and brushing his fingers against yours for longer than what’s comfortable. Just simple little touches that make his heart race

He also loves words of affirmation so I can see him giving you compliments a lot. “I like that jacket on you ___ it suits you a lot” “wow you’re so good at this!! Can you teach me”

Definitely gushes and kicks his feet at night while holding his pillow like a teenage girl while thinking about y’all’s intentions that day.

Actually shows up early to stuff if you’re there. One time Kunikida freaked out and made him go home thinking he was sick “I’m just happy to be here” “🤯 it’s worse than I thought go home dazai”

You might hold the power to possibly making him blush. All these new emotions about you have him in a frenzy so it’s one of the few times you can catch him off guard.

I can see him bringing you little gifts since he’s a broke bitch. “Hey I got this donut this morning and i don’t want it anymore would you like it?” (Lies he purposefully bought that for you)

You often catch him looking at you but when he gets caught he just does that smirk at you. You know the one

Acts extra confident in front of you. Even though on the inside he’s losing it.

Weirdo probably has a picture of you somewhere that he just likes to glance at when he’s feeling down.

Starts tidying himself up. Nicely dressed, hair just so, he even splurged on some expensive cologne and probably goes a tad bit overboard putting it on. Will walk past you 100 times the first time he wears it hoping you pick up the sent and like it “dazai you smell good today you got plans or something?” “No 🤭”

Protective but not overprotective. He’s knows when you need his help and when you don’t.

If you’re a girl who wears lipstick daily you get bonus points. He loves lipstick especially red shades. Definitely takes your tube out of your purse and plays with it. Then goes to the store looks at the brand of lipstick and gets you another shade “you got me a gift what for?” “Idk just reminded me of you” “omg this is my favorite brand how did you know?”

I could go on and on but this is already too long and I have a college essay due in 3 days that I haven’t even started

[television-overload]

The Walls That Tell Our Stories

Post-ep for 21x02 "The Stories We Leave Behind"

What I think we all want to imagine happened after the doors closed on that elevator at the end of the episode.

Word Count: 1,365

Read on AO3

No sooner had the elevator doors opened, than a fiery ball of energy came slamming into his legs.

"Daddy! Daddy!" the little girl yelled, grabbing onto his hand and pulling. "Take a picture of me with the orange wall!" She yanked him forward, already showing signs of that strength she and her mother both shared.

Tony laughed, casting a glance at McGee.

"Sorry, she's heard a lot about these orange walls," he explained, fishing his cell phone out of his coat pocket and dutifully opening the camera app.

He knelt down, holding the phone up so she was in frame.

"Alright, Tali, say, 'NCIS!'" he said, and Tali repeated it, finishing with a big toothy smile and a wild pose she must have learned from her friends at school.

Once he'd taken a couple photos, he clicked the image gallery to check them, holding the phone out to show Tali.

"How's that?" he asked, waiting for her approval.

"Perfect!" she answered. "Now one at your desk!"

Before he could stop her, she darted off to the part of the bullpen he had called home for so many years. It looked a little different now, various personal items stashed on the desks and even some plants making it feel more homey, but it was still the same place.

"Honey, that's not my desk anymore, it's Uncle Tim's," he reminded her. It hadn't been his in a long time, and it was crazy to think of all that had changed since then.

A pouty lip came out, and McGee chuckled. There was a lot of Ziva in her, that was true, but when it came to her personality, she was just so Tony.

"It's okay," he said, giving Tali the go-ahead to sit in his chair. “That was your dad's desk long before it was mine.”

She ran around the edge of it, plopping unceremoniously into the swivel chair and looking around interestedly at everything.

“Dad, did they have computers back when you worked here?”

Tony felt her words like a blow to the chest, and he feigned having the wind knocked out of him. How old did she think he was? He could practically feel the gray hairs sprouting from his head.

“Do you want me to take your picture or not?” he asked, shaking his head, hiding his amusement behind squinted eyes.

She smiled for the camera, then did a few poses pretending she was working.

"How many kids do you know who's number one bucket list item is to visit the headquarters of a government agency?" DiNozzo joked as he snapped a couple more photos. 

Tali had been begging them for years, but it had never been a good time. They’d needed some space to learn how to be a family when Ziva finally came home. And though they wished it had been under better circumstances, at least now they could show their daughter all the places she'd heard about in their stories.

McGee smirked, watching the energetic daughter of his two best friends as she clacked away at his keyboard. 

"I'd expect nothing less from your kid, Tony."

After a moment, Tali looked up, an inquisitive look on her face.

"Which one was Ima's?" she asked, spinning her chair back and forth.

He knelt down in front of her, resting his arms on the edge of the desk, his chin atop his folded hands.

"Which one do you think made it easiest to stare at her all day with heart eyes, Tali-girl?"

She giggled, pausing so she could inspect her options, taking the task very seriously. She tapped her chin in thought.

"That one!" she said, brightening up and pointing to the desk directly across from his.

He grinned, thinking back to all the times he'd sat there thinking about her mother. 

"Bingo!"

"Can I–?"

"Have a picture over there?" he finished, already knowing what she was going to say. "Ask Agent Knight if it's okay."

Jessica Knight was standing near the elevator with Palmer, and it didn't take long for Tali to get her permission. She ran back the short distance, looking triumphant in her return.

"Hey, where is your Ima anyway?" Tony asked as she sat down behind the desk.

"Here!" her familiar voice sounded, echoing in the largely empty bullpen. The door to the women's restroom closed behind her. "Your child is pushing on my bladder. I swear I cannot make it more than an hour without having to pee, these days."

As she approached, Tony tucked her under his arm, glancing around at the walls that held so many of their stories. This was the building that built them. Tali owed her existence to these ugly orange walls and the people that dwelled in them.

"Our daughter has been playing tourist and hitting all the great photo spots," Tony informed her, brows raised sarcastically.

Ziva turned to look at Tali, seated where she used to sit now more than a decade ago. 

"I see that," she said, her lips pulled back in a smile. "Did you tell her about the time we were stuck in the elevator?"

Tony grinned. "Oh yeah, she liked that one."

"Ima, when can we go see the lab?" Tali asked eagerly, interrupting them.

Ziva looked up and saw Jimmy approaching, and she knew there wasn't time right now. She separated herself from Tony, gently tousling Tali's wavy hair. "Another time, baby, I think it's time to head over to the funeral."

Tali nodded, glancing down at her shoes.

"I'm gonna miss Grandducky," she said sadly, playing absentmindedly with an eraser she found on the desk.

"So will we," Tony said, swallowing back emotion. "Aren't you glad he came to visit us during his book tour last year? That was pretty special, huh?"

The littlest DiNozzo nodded again, cheeks widening in a smile. "He was the first to know about my baby brother!" she said, remembering it fondly.

At that, Jimmy looked to Tony and Ziva in mock indignation. "Hey, you told him before any of the rest of us?" he said.

Tony laughed, patting the autopsy gremlin on the shoulder in consolation. "He guessed pretty quick. I think if he'd visited a few weeks earlier, he would have been the one to break the news to us!"

Ducky’s globetrotting semi-retirement had been a blessing to them all. They cherished the few times they'd been able to meet up in recent years, remaining close despite the long distance. He was a part of their family; it was only right that their daughter know him and love him too. They were fortunate for the time they did have together.

Ziva glanced at the clock and sighed, placing a hand on Tony's chest, silently telling him they probably needed to get going. He nodded in response, checking that he had his phone and wallet still before taking her hand in his.

"Alright, well, we can keep sharing memories on the way. Tali? You ready to go?"

"We'll be back, right?"

"Of course," Tony answered. "We've barely scratched the surface here! I still have to take you to interrogation to figure out what happened to that batch of cookies Ima made last week ." He tickled her sides, causing her to erupt in giggles and run ahead of them toward the elevator. They followed, hand in hand, with Jimmy and McGee right behind.

"Squeeze in!" Palmer said, the entire group filling the elevator with little room to spare. The others would be meeting them at the cathedral for the service, everyone who knew and loved Ducky, there to say their final goodbyes.

As the doors closed, Tony leaned down and pressed his lips to Ziva's, his hand resting on her lower back to pull her closer.

"Ugh, guys, really?" McGee complained exaggeratedly, screwing up his face in a look of disgust. Tali put her hands in front of her mouth to hide her giggles.

Ziva looked up at Tony like he was the only other person in the elevator, and he beamed proudly, unashamed and unapologetic.

He squeezed her sides playfully, tucking his face into her shoulder and breathing her in.

"I've always wanted to do that in here."

-.-.-

Tag List (if you want to be tagged when I post Tiva stuff, let me know and I'll add you!): @benedettabeby @earanemith @happygirl-0408 @hopeless-nostalgiac @indestinatus @loudlooks @mrsmungus @nicolem194 @putthekettleon @slippery-soapbox @tivafanfic @tivajunkie @tonysziva

Gonna go out on a limb and also tag @wanna-be-bold @pro-bee @delicatefalice @harmandmac @benditlikepress @irish-trish idk who else I've seen active lately but yeah

[scarlettriot]

Okay, listen, I don’t need annnyone telling me how half baked an idea this is but it’s living rent fucking free in my head right now so I’m throwing it in a post (as opposed to in @twisteddaydreams1135 DMs like I have been).

A/B/O stuff. Alpha Kiri and Beta Reader. I write Beta’s a little differently so if you end up not liking it, it is what it is.

No real warnings here. It’s a lot of fluff and comfort honestly.

A Drabble that ended up being about 2K words… my bad.

No editing or proofing. Again, my bad.

Alpha Pro Hero Red Riot who co-owns and agency with Dynamight. Red Riot who’s in his 30s and not married or even mated. He works himself into the dirt because it keeps his mind occupied. Handles everyone’s paperwork. Picks up all the extra shifts at the office. His friends and coworkers can’t remember the last time he took a vacation, if ever!

But, Kirishima never complains. His pack his happy and he claims that makes him happy. But, the pack is getting worried. The dark circles under his once bright eyes never seem to go away. He only redyes his hair when Bakugou reminds him. He’s barely around for pack dinners and if he is home when they’re happening he usually just takes a plate with thanks and what he thinks is a genuine smile and goes to his apartment. He was still a phenomenal leader. So caring with that big heart of his. In fact, it seemed Kirishima cared about everyone around him far more than he ever cared for himself.

So, the pack came up with a plan, you.

You were new to the city, looking for work with your resume being passed around and Mina got her hands on it. A Personal Assistant could be exactly what big guy needed.

She brought your resume to Bakugou who agreed you seemed like a good fit with strong references and skills to match. And, you were a Beta. There’d be no chance your scent would bother Kirishima and both Mina and Bakugou agreed that was a good thing.

So, you started an hour before he did on a sunny Monday morning. In a small office right next to Red Riots. He came in with his protein drink and did a double take. They hired someone new? Since when? Last he checked him and Bakugou approved all hires together.

“Who the heck is she, do we even have room in the budget for a new hire?” He asked his friend after closing his office door.

“Made room in the budget for her. Her name is Y/N and she’s your new personal assistant.”

He made room because everyone took a small pay cut. Which they all agreed was worth it if it gets Kirishima to take a break and fucking relax for once.

“I don’t need a personal assistant. No one else has one!”

“Because everyone else can manage their time just fuckin’ fine. You can’t. You haven’t for almost a damn decade now. Not since—”

“Don’t.” Kirishima rumbled. “I know what you’re gonna say and just don’t. I’ll try and work with her but I make no promises.”

Bakugou knew that was the best outcome he could ask for right now so he didn’t fight him on it. Just nodded as Kirishima left his office and watched as he walked into yours.

Your new boss was nice. He lived up to everything you heard about him aside from a few things:

Kirishima wasn’t a fan of interviews. He would do them but he always looked incredibly worn down when he returned from one.

Kirishima had to be reminded to dye that red mane of his. You scheduled time for that.

And perhaps the biggest thing you learned about the man;

Kirishima HATED down time. You scheduled breaks in his day per his friends requests and either he flat out ignored them or he was in your office bothering you the entire time. Even on his days off he found reasons to be in the office. His newest was bringing you lunch.

You didn’t mind these little visits. In fact, you kinda liked the big guy showing up in your door way. He was a change of pace from some of the other Alpha’s you’ve worked with. And, not that you’d ever admit to crushing on your boss to anyone else, you could at least admit to yourself that you liked having him around.

Still, you had to remind him that this was his day off and he shouldn’t be at work.

“I’ll take a break when you take a break. After all, you are my personal assistant. If you’re working, I should be too.”

“I don’t think that’s how that works, Red.”

He shrugs those wide shoulders. “It is if I say it is.”

You just rolled your eyes at him and reminded him again that there’s still things you need to work on when he’s out of office. Just like how you keep working when he goes on patrol. But, he waved his hand and changed the subject as usual.

Despite feeling like he definitely didn’t need someone managing his schedule, Kirishima actually really liked having you around.

You were easy to talk to, you didn’t seem to judge him, and he knew you were doing what you could to keep his best interests in mind even if he wasn’t.

He wouldn’t dare admit it out loud or to anyone but he knew deep down he had a hint of a crush on you. It started when he watched you storm up to Denki and push a paper against his chest. “Kirishima is not handling your strawberry milk requests anymore, I’ve told you this. If you want special snacks so much, put the order in yourself.”

He knew his friend only did it to get a rise out of you. And it worked every time. It was cute to see the way you cared about him even if it was just from a professional stand point.

When he had free time in the weeks that followed he found himself fond of hanging around you. You were a Beta but whatever perfume you had on was pleasant and he could feel the worries he carried around with him for years ebb away when you were near.

That’s why even on his days off he sought you out.

He’d sit at the little table in your office and you asked him about his interest and found some common ground between the both of you. Things to talk about and fill the quiet time. It wasn’t in the job description but he was thankful for it nonetheless.

After reminding him yet again he wasn’t supposed to be in the office on his days off you asked him wouldn’t he rather be doing something different instead? Something more fun?

“The things I enjoyed doing aren’t really fun alone. I go for my runs and workouts and that’s about it.”

“You have plenty of friends, Red! And you’re still one of the most eligible Pro Hero bachelors, I get like 10 emails a day asking if you would agree to a date with people if you’re looking for something more romantic. You don’t have to be alone!”

“My friends have families that they spend time with on their days off, just as they should. They don’t need to go spending time with me. And I’m not looking for romantic right now.” or possibly ever again, he thought.

“Alright, so, what are you gonna do on your next day off?”

“Probably this!” He grinned all proud of himself.

But you had a grin of your own. “Might be a little difficult since I listened to what you said: how I should take time off when you do.”

“Oh…” Even though he tried he couldn’t hide the disappointment in his voice. “That’s good though! You should take more time off.”

“Yeah…” You pushed some food around your plate for a moment and then he heard a little sigh before you spoke. “On my days off I like going to this little book shop I found.” You described the area and he knew exactly where it was. “It’s got a little café inside. I’ll probably go around 11 and be there for a few hours, if you wanted to meet me.”

He hadn’t agreed to plans so quickly in he could remember how long!

On his day off Kirishima was up bright and early, went for a run, came back and showered, changed into jeans and a nicer shirt.

“Where the hell are you goin’?” Bakugou asked, just as stunned to see the man looking so chipper and up and moving on his day off rather than secluding himself in his room.

“I’ve got plans! See ya later!” He called and headed to the bookstore without realizing he had two nosy friends following him. One blonde. And the other pink.

They watched him from across the street and saw him walk up to you with a grin like they hadn’t seen on his face in so very long and they knew hiring you was the best decision they could’ve made.

The two went home, not wanting to interrupt the plans, and left you two to the outing.

Kirishima stood beside you in line while you two talked about the different options the cafe had. You told him what items where your favorite and what you thought he might like.

It was while you waited off to the side for your number to be called that he said something that caught you off guard. “The perfume you wear, it’s nice.”

While the compliment was appreciated and made your cheeks a little warmer you looked up at him confused. “Thanks but I don’t wear perfume.”

Now he looked confused. “But, I smell it all the time. Have for weeks now.” Your eyes went wide as he tried his best to describe it. It wasn’t your shampoo or body wash, not even the lotion you wear from time to time.

You knew Alpha’s had good noses but you weren’t expecting this. “Kirishima, that’s not something I wear. That’s my scent.”

[saintmuses]

❝𝙝𝙪𝙨𝙝, 𝙄 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙨𝙖𝙞𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙞𝙨 𝙣𝙚𝙖𝙧❞

Pairing:

Lenny Miller x Reader

Summary:

She never got to marry, or bear children, or have a house with a white picket fence. She never got to grow old either. Even in death, she would never be able to escape from the man who loved her a little too much.

Warning(s): Death. Implied murder. Angst. Implied toxic relationship. Age gap (10 years apart between Reader and Lenny). Major power imbalance. Dark!Lenny. Minors, dni! Note: I was trying to make this something that you would read from a non-fiction crime book which includes many characters from Anna so it does not feel personal. Reader is a Russian American in this one. Also the switch between ‘Leonard’ and ‘Lenny’ is intentional. The title is from Mirrorball because I thought it was fitting of how it refers to the end of something, therefore the end of one’s life as they know it.

Word Count: 3.3k

1995

"It was something I would do, but I would've never expected her to do it. She and I were very different in that sense." Anna Poliatova, her best friend from childhood days murmured softly, her accent curled around the letters as she sat down in a chair for the interview regarding the crime documentary. She had eyes that were colored like the sky, and platinum hair, straight as spineless grass in the plains.

"1990 was something for her," she then laughed. "She met someone I never even knew about, but I found out in her diary of an early 1990 entry of a man named Leonard Miller."

April 16, 1990

Dear Diary,

When you meet someone, how would you picture meeting someone? One day, they would be a stranger to you, but they could be everything but a stranger tomorrow.

I didn't expect to meet Leonard Miller yesterday, but everyone knew of him. 

I mean he is an agent handler for Central Intelligence Agency, his reputation precedes him everywhere he goes in that workplace. What attracted me to him right away was how he eluded power and raw presence. He commanded attention as soon as he walked into the room. I had to talk to him because of my job; I’ve been assigned as a secretary for the director of CIA.

The day before, you would be doing something so mundane, right up to the moment, and that was when everything changed. I haven't felt this way in a long time, like a schoolgirl's crush on a man who is very handsome, but very off-limits. There’s a workplace code set in place for something like this. My brain had to remind myself that we cannot be more than just co-workers, no fraternizing around, but my heart didn't care.

I was never supposed to be that person.

Never.

Y/N.V.

Y/N Vasilisa—Love to those close to her due to the meaning of her last name—was born in New York in 1966 to her parents Arseni Vasiliy and Janet O’Conner.

Aurora, New York was a town where families would bloom while the others faded.

Arseni Vasiliy was born in Moscow, USSR, and migrated to America when he was nineteen and met a girl from a town over, then fell in love with her. They were married in 1964, two years before Y/N was born. "She kept him on his toes, and they made the marriage work. They had good years," his friend recalled, a brief appearance. "Really good years."

Janet, her mother was very protective of Y/N, perhaps because she was the baby, the only child of the family. They were close, close as best friends could've been.

The Vasiliys were the poster child of what family should really look like. It was a small family, but it was home.

Y/N met Anna Poliatovia in English class when she was a teenager. She came to America as a foreign exchange student from Soviet Union program. They were the duo that every girl was jealous of, and every guy wished they would've gotten together with.

Y/N Vasilisa was an honor student, had perfect grades all four years of high school, and became a valedictorian for her class.

Everything had changed a month before her graduation in 1984. Her parents died in a tragic car accident. Their slow but terrible deaths were caused by fire when a drunken driver of semi-truck crashed into them.

She moved to New York City after she graduated from high school, wanting to get away from the town that used to be so kind to her.

In a utopia world, no one would die. In the real world, parents weren’t supposed to bury their children. In a twisted sense, they made the natural order of death happen. Y/N had to bury them at eighteen.

She went to a community college while working for a company as a secretary during the week, and she would complete double shifts as a waitress at a restaurant on the weekends to be able to afford an apartment she lived in.

As Y/N struggled to make the ends meet, Leonard Miller was on his way to becoming an operative for CIA.

Leonard’s father was born in Europe in 1928, but his family moved to America specifically Hawaii in 1935, although it was not a part of fifty stars for another few decades. When his father was twenty-one, he met his wife at a shore, and they were married before finding a job as a constructor while his wife was a housewife and a mother of four children.

Elizabeth was the first and only daughter that was welcomed to the world in 1951, John was born two years later, then it was Leonard and Maxwell after that.

The family experienced a devastating loss when the patriarch of the family died of a heart attack at the age of fifty-three in February 1981, leaving his wife, children, and grand-children behind.

While the women of the family were soft-spoken, soft hearted; the men were stolid, hardworking, and they set their minds to succeed in America.

All men but one worked for a construction company that their father built with his partner. The company became Miller and Co. when it thrived in Pearl City, and the boys except one joined.

The third child of the family did not want to work for the construction company, opting to make a path for himself.

Leonard -Lenny for short- was born in 1956, the third child, but second boy in the family. He had dark brown hair, icy blue eyes so piercing that someone would feel like he was looking into their soul. He did almost everything first, he was not only an honor student, but he was also undeniably his parents' favorite son out of four children. He was hardworking and disciplined like his father, quiet and conservative like his mother.

John and Maxwell, his brothers were the opposite of it. They were the life of the party, the charmers who could work a room full of strangers and leave with a bunch of friends.

They were very much loved by their parents despite the differences in all of them.

To them, Leonard was the good brother. The one who could give dependable advice. To school, he was quite unattainable. Polite, friendly, only mingling when he had to, but he knew how to have fun as well.

When he was eighteen, he graduated from high school in 1974, and enlisted in military. It was there he was recruited to become an CIA operative thus moving to Washington DC to be close to Langley.

Despite being the second oldest brother, he did take over the proceedings of the patriarch after his father's death, but he refused to do anything with the construction company. His other brothers were there to run the business while he and his sister were there for their mother.

Before his father's death, he accepted a promotion to become CIA Agent Handler.

And he was thirty-four years old when he met Y/N Vasilisa.

"She was filled with life," Lenny said softly, fingers tracing the surface of the table in front of him as he stared down at the patterns, remembering the night he met her. "She was something else," he swallowed thickly before turning his head away, not without a hint of regret in his icy depths.

Y/N met the director of CIA when she moved to Washington DC after college, who recruited her to be his secretary in late 1989 and having the career that aligned the path of the position as CIA Operative Handler, it was inevitable.

"I remembered being there when they first met," Maud Lebereva, her friend and co-worker recalled. She had buzz cut brown hair and wide doe eyes, she also migrated to the states from Russia when she was a teenager. "He came in to have a meeting with the director about an upcoming mission in then-USSR, he had his eyes on her way before she noticed him. It would've been sweet if it was something else, but I saw something I knew wasn’t sweet." She murmured, shaking her head.

No one knew anything about them. They had started meeting at lunchtime, getting to know each other, it was harmless. Anyone who walked down the streets in the DC area would see them sitting outside in cafes, laughter could be heard from them, and they looked like they were friends, best of friends even.

They were friends for a few months until early summer of 1990 when the director of CIA had a gathering where every person must attend the function.

He had to walk her to her home that night, and that was when the dynamic changed for them. A soft kiss on her cheek, a pair of lips pressed against her skin slowly before withdrawing, and she had blushed viciously.

After that night, they weren't just friends. They were on their way to becoming lovers.

No one knew about them. They talked through phone calls that would be on the side tables, they emailed each other, and they would do anything discreetly.

He was still unobtainable, and she was still feeling guilty. Although, he had said he loved her in the summer of August at the Bahamas when he took her out for a vacation under the disguise of attending a seminar. Somehow, in her mind his declaration of love made everything seem alright.

It wasn't until late November when everything started to unravel around her. She met a very sweet man Alex Tchenkov through a friend and knowing there couldn't be any more than just an affair between Lenny and her, she went for it.

That was when she realized she had the idea of love wrong. Love wasn't about swearing an oath not to be seen, keeping the lines blurry between what was right and wrong, and it wasn't supposed to feel poisonous. It felt deadly, like a bitter taste of acid whenever she looked back to the months of her affair with Lenny.

Her friend, Anna was in Langley for Christmas, and Y/N took her out to a bar in Washington DC. Afterwards they sat on the concrete edge of Tidal Basin for a long time until the sun began to set over the capital, talking. The blonde woman gave Y/N an early Christmas gift, and she started to cry. 

 "She cried for a really long time," Anna said thoughtfully, nibbling on the side of her bottom lip. "I didn't know she was trapped in a wrecking affair at that time, but she was crying because she said she didn't deserve Alex," she remembered idly. "I was confused, but at that moment I knew there were so many things about her, many secrets that she hadn't told him, and she was really scared she would lose him if she was honest with him."

Eventually one person found out in February, it was Maud who had introduced her to Alex. She had sworn to keep it as a secret, and there were times when they would all meet for lunch.

"Despite my ill-feelings towards Leonard, he was a good person to people around him that I knew of. Figuring him out, and not being able to put a finger on why he gives me a bad vibe, that is where I can't stand him." Maud murmured; her eyes flickered briefly to the window. "I do remember one time I sympathized with him when it came to Y/N, it was a dinner at a really expensive restaurant, and he offered to pay." She laughed slightly, although it sounded uneasy.

The whole dinner affair was tense, it was to say with the understatement of the century. Y/N barely gave Leonard any time of the day, only cordially polite even it would make the worst of the worst dictators silently kneel to the ground.

At some point during the evening, Y/N excused herself to the ladies' room. When she was gone, Lenny had turned to Maud and asked why Y/N hated him.

"I was surprised when he asked me that," she paused, thinking back to that night. "He sounded desperate and sad, and it was that moment I felt bad for him.".

Maud tried to give him an excuse not knowing how to placate his emotional being, and she knew the sad pitiful look on Leonard’s face was caused by Y/N’s attempts to leave so she could be completely in a relationship with Alex. She did wonder if Leonard had any feelings for Y/N after all. If he did, it would be too bad.

"I mean I knew Y/N was irrecoverably in love with Alex, and I just felt bad for Leonard because he didn't stand a chance." Maud sighed, chuckling. The sound was not without a small amount of pity. "I just never knew how bad of a person he was to her. It's always the guys that can fool you easily, but not girls. However, she did fool me a bit." A grimace adorned on her face as she thought about it.

In the leading months, she and Alex got involved exclusively with fear gripping in the back of her mind that Lenny could ruin it all. Leaving her life into ashes if he ever exposed their affair to Alex.

"It was the one thing in her life she was most ashamed of," the brunette murmured, "but it wasn't her fault. I just wished she would understand that. However, he was a powerful man in Washington DC. He could easily ruin her life if he wanted to, and he did."

It was after midnight on July 5th, 1991, but there was a soft orange glow behind the curtains framing windows in the apartment. Silhouettes could be seen moving as six people roamed around the place restless. The fear had gripped them all after false-hope rationalizations failed to erase the tension Y/N had left them with.

Her other best friend had noticed something was wrong when Y/N didn't show up for dinner along with Maud.

"She didn't call to tell us she was running late, or anything really." Anna stated, her blue eyes glistening as she sniffed slightly. "I tried calling her several times, but it went straight to the voicemail." Her eyes flickered to the window as her lips turned down slightly. "I waited because she always called me back no matter what."

While they had waited for her, for the police, for some word, anything; they forced themselves to believe that she was okay, she had to be, the other option was something they didn't want to think about. 

Ever.

"I remembered going through her room, finding her journal, and I thought as I stared at the slim book 'God help me that I will break her private cocoon she'd set up for her mind, but if it was to help us find her then so be it'." Anna murmured; her eyes closed briefly before opening. "I remembered there was some sort of a letter stuffed in the last page she'd written."

You asked me a long time ago after we met, 'what do you want?' in a teasing manner with a soft twinkle in your pretty eyes. What I want...is for you to be happy. I love you.

"It wasn't signed, but it didn't really have to be it was obvious, and that was when I knew Y/N had been harboring a secret for a long time." She shrugged before sighing, looking away. Her blonde hair swayed slightly. "She was definitely not perfect, but she was the best of us. Despite the flaws we harbored in ourselves, she saw the best in them, and I can see why she would look past his overbearing flaws in the beginning to see the best in him even when she shouldn't. I can't really fault her for that, she tried, and she did until it wasn't enough for her." She then hesitated, "and whatever she wrote in her last entry...I knew he’d read it because I know Y/N, she would've just thrown away the letter after reading it, not put it in her private cocoon where it would ruin her peace. The letter he put in was more of some correspondence to her journal right before everything..." she then paused; her bottom lip trembled as a gasp escaped from her mouth resonating in her lungs as a light sheen glazed over her eyes.

June 29th, 1991

Dear Diary,

There were times I questioned myself, in the beginning I could see why I wanted to be with Lenny despite all the wrong things that I have seen.

Now more than a year has passed, and I'm suffocating. The leash I didn't notice wrapped around my neck on the day we met had been becoming shorter and shorter, chipping away its inches as his control became iron-clad over time.

I had once asked him when I met him, he was the guy who had it all, and he did, but to assuage my curiosity, I had asked him "what do you want?"

And it was that particular conversation that changed everything for me.

We were doomed, entirely and truly.

I can't say it wasn't love at first, for me it was, but it wasn't for him. I had only noticed after I fell out of it was when I realized we were doomed. He was an agent with a dangerous future, and I was at a different place in life.

Being with Alex had made me see things differently, it made me realize that Lenny Miller is not the man I or everyone else thought he was. He is a narcissist, a liar who manipulated everything around him including me. He was like a rose, sweet at first until I touched the thorns and that was when he became cruel. I fell in love with the idea of him and accepted the false flaws until it got to the point where it all became too much for me to bear.

He knew I wanted the chains off my heart especially after meeting Alex. Especially when I want to be free, I need to be free, but he won't let me go. I know he will never let me go, and I'm afraid of whatever that means.

It wasn't pretty, and it wasn't love despite him saying it was.

I have to get away from him before the suffocation drives me to the grave.

Y/N.V.

"I did love her. I loved her more than anything in this world, even when she didn’t love me anymore, but I suppose no one would understand." Lenny had emphasized slightly, almost bitterly. His blue eyes were steely glinted when the light from the sun hit their depths, before the mask of indifference fell into place. "The last time I saw her was when she didn't want me to be in her life anymore." He had murmured before looking out to somewhere in the room. He had said when the sun began to set, everything fell apart around them, "and that was that." He then shrugged as if it explained it all.

THE NEW YORK TIMES

Tuesday, July 21, 1992

A MISSING AMERICAN WOMAN'S BODY FOUND IN LOIRE RIVER IN FRANCE

(Photo taken at the graduation in 1984)

The body of a 26-year-old woman Y/N Vasilisa who was reported missing a year ago on the 5th of July had been found in the Loire River under the boat dock in Nantes with a bullet wound in her head.

Vasilisa’s death, according to Detective Chief Marcel Clairmont of the Nantes Prosecutor's Office, was caused by bruising around the neck which resembled strangulation before the victim was killed with a bullet wound in the forehead. The cause of death was accurate after the autopsy was completed by the Washington DC Coroner Vincent Delacour. The prime suspect for her disappearance prior to her death, former CIA agent Leonard Miller’s DNA was not found anywhere on her body, and the bullet did not match his gun serial numbers thus eliminating him from the list of suspects...[read page five for more information].