#look me in my eyes and tell me you can t hear sunday kind of love in dallas in the 60’s

[laurrelise]

still can’t believe that sunday kind of love by etta james wasn’t used in tua s2’s soundtrack

[itsbubbleteataro]

hello! Saw your requests were open! If its cool can I request some headcanons (or whatever seems the best fit) with Sampo, Jing Yuan and Sunday finding their anxious! reader ( constant buzzing like a bee level anxiety) under multiple thick blankets (woth a weighted one onto as well) being all cozy, calm and sweet? Im talking the level where you can't tell there's a person untill they peek their head out. Reader finds the squish really comfy.

(Also just wanted to let you know that your pinned post has jun Yung listed under hsr. I just assumed it was Jing yuan but if not feel free to ignore him in my request)

thank you!

Dgejoaajwnebrhrwqknerbsjwjw thank you for catching my spelling mistake im so sorry!

Sure that sounds lovely! I can also say that I confidently relate to reader here as I too can be found typing away under a mound of blankets!

HSR headcannons!

Sampo with Anxious!Reader

Finds it strange at first but chalks it up to you hiding away from the cold

That was until he realized that you usually ended up under your mountain of blankets after situations that usually resulted with you feeling anxious

how did he find this out? Well he's Sampo, so he simply followed you home and looked through your window to find you under all your blankets

placing two and two together he figured out that you tend to always be buzzing with some kind of anxiety based off of how often you wind up under your blankets

one day you had invited him over, telling him to just let himself in

Overall I think he would find it adorable and just a tad concerning

Sampo's eyes drifted over to a mound of various colored blankets laying on a bed, his ears perking up once he hears a squeak coming from it. A smile crosses his face as he watches your head poke out from from the hoard of blankets. He can't help the laughter that fills the room as you give him a sheepish smile

Jing Yuan with Anxious!Reader

The first time he finds you under your pile of blankets is after a particularly rough meeting, one where you ended up agreeing on biting off more than you could chew

The second time he found you under your pile of blankets was after you went through quite a scare, turning in his and your paperwork just before they were due

The third time he finds you under the pile of blankets he ends up laying down next to you, however leaving you to the mass of blankets

With a lazy grin he asks what's bothering you this time, only to be pleasantly surprised to find that nothing was amiss and that you simply just enjoy laying under the mass of blankets

Can't say that he entirely understands but is just wanting to spend time with you

May not be happy about sharing your space with a mass of blankets, may push it off just so he can cuddle you

You and Jing Yuan had decided to play a game of go together. He looked up at you, your brow furrowed in concentration as you lay on your stomach. About twenty blankets lay on top of you including a few weighted ones. He can't help but smile as his golden orbs watch as you work hard to beat him while retaining the comfort that your mass of blankets bring

Sunday x Anxious!Reader

How strange is it to him that when you're not in the dream realm, your found under a mass of blankets, poking your head out of anyone wishes to speak

The first time he had found out about your love of blankets, you had shown him a new weighted blanket you were excited to buy

After that the two of you took to the dream realm, excitedly dragging him from blanket store to blanket store showing him the softest of ones

The loss of his sister hurts him in ways he can't express, so you decide to gift him a weighted blanket, hoping it may have the same effect on him as it does on you

I think Sunday would be glad that you tend to stay under all your blankets, ensuring him that you will remain safe as long as you are in the waking world

"Where are you dragging me this time?" Sunday asked, an annoyed look on his face though his tone betrayed him. You rush past the animated billboards trying to get your attention as you push the door open to a store. You excitedly show him a weighted blanket and his expression softens. He placed a hand on your head, ruffling your hair. "You really are fascinated by the strangest of things aren't you my dear?"

[crybabytoy59]

If you’re willing too open your little heart. Pt3.

Sitting in the bath crying at Mommy’s kind words … 

Aunty Anna teased me ..

“That’s a clever baby we love to see you crying it’s just so cute you doing that just for us baby Stephanie…. X”

Mommy had put on a black rubber glove then pulled my chin gently.. 

“ Shall we show Aunty Anna what you were doing for the lovely Lady Dentist baby Stephanie?”

I opened my mouth wide to show mommy Obedience …. 

Susan was just so beautiful her voice so hypnotic !

 I just wanted to please her, to have her love the baby inside me no matter the depth my surrender to my inner submissive would go..

“Clever Baby girlie yes just like that .. are you going to moan for mommy the way the Dentist had you moaning Hhmmm ?

 (I looked right at Mommy moaning loudly) Yes that’s the way you did it baby, you were quite the wee slut for her ! “

Aunty Anna giggled as I started sucking on Mommy’s rubber fingers moaning louder as Aunty was playing with my nipples ! ! 

“ Yes that’s the way baby princess Mommy loves to hear you moan for things in that cute fuck hole of yours ! Moan louder you wee Bitch ! .. 

Much better your going to be sucking on lots of things some nice and some not so nice… 

Even some downright Nasty !….

But baby girlie will moan for each and every one of them saying “Fankew !” Won’t you Baby Stephanie !”

I was completely lost in surrender now as I nodded to Mommy..

I nodded more vigorously as I bobbed my headie on her beautiful fingers !…

Mommy lookedme right in the eyes ….

“Open Wide baby girlie we have a wee surprise for you ! ..tilt your headie backwards Now !”

I nearly choked on Mommy’s fingers as when I looked backwards stood at the end of the Bath Was The Dentist lady !! ….

“ Hello baby Stephanie stay Open Wide ! For us !”

She had the gum shields..pushing the lower one into a pop ! Then she pushed the upper home to a second pop ! …

Mommy stood beside her as Aunty joined them all three smiling down at me as I was physically shaking now ! 

“ My my they are perfect Debbie I love the two wee white baby teeth would that be possible to have them re-modded to better suit her toddler status ?

The dentist ran her fingers into my mouth… well we would need to remove her “Big” teeth then put some posts in for baby teeth…how many would you want ?

Mommy smiled down at me … 

“I think just the upper two will be fine baby’s don’t have any lower teeth…Eh baby darling do you hear that the lovely lady is going to pull All your teeth out and give you real baby teeth … isn’t Aunty Debbie so kind why don’t you thank her .. “

Fwankew Aunty Debbie !”

The Dentist spoke to me…

“Clever girlie baby princess you even got my full name right cuite… I have the surgery free on Sunday or is that too soon Mommy Susan ? “

“My my No that would be fantastic ! 

Hear that baby your going to have your teeth removed on Sunday you lucky girlie !…. Aawww are you going to cry for Aunty Debbie are you ? 

Yes Darling you can have a nice Big crybaby session on Sunday as Aunty Debbie works on you !”

They all started laughing over my current state !

As I was now gagging on Aunty Debbie’s fingers as she thrusted them Deeply ! Aunty Anna tugged my nipples hard for me to keep my headie fully back for them ..

Mommy put her hands in the water !

“Baby Stephanie who said you could get excited darling ? Your such a wee Pain Slut aren’t you ! Say it tell us your a wee baby Pain Slut ! “

They all laughed louder as I lisped around AUNTYS FINGERS FUCKING ME as Aunty Anna dug her nails into my nipples !…

Mommy kissed my cheek ..X 

“Let’s get you out if this bath as I think we have a wee cleaning job for you to do ..Aunty Anna can you get baby Stephanie’s baby dress please the pink pvc one !”

Mommy patted my headie ..

“ Keep sucking Aunty Debbie’s fingers as I get you out  !”

Mommy pulled me out the bath by my nipples ! Her nails biting into me hard I squealed around Aunty Debbie’s fingers as Mommy made me kneel for them..

Aunty Anna had come back with the short pink PVC baby dress holding it up for my new Aunty too see !

“AwwwwwAswwww how cute is that baby Stephanie ..Mommy after you dress baby could I please dipee her ? ! Have always wanted to diaper a sissy baby girlie!”

Mommy lifted my arms up for Aunty Ana to pull the dress on I was still wet and covered in foam suds ..

“Why yes I think baby Stephanie would so love that would you baby ?”

Wess Mommy !

I was zipped up then Mommy put my changing mat on the bathroom Floor ..

“Lay down baby Stephanie Aunty Debbie is going to put your dipee on and put you into your spreader pants !”

 Aunty Debbie took her time putting way too much nappy cream everywhere !  The dipee stuck to its wetness as I panted she pulled on my rubber pants pulling the belts tightly then put my white frilly bottom tights on me… 

They lifted my hips as she slid the spreader pants under me clipping the sides shut she pulled the shoulder straps over crossing at my back ! 

Mommy had me do a wee sit up so Aunty Debbie could pull them tightly..

When I went on all fours they pulled into my crotch and rear tightly! 

Mommy spoke to me…

“Now baby Stephanie crawl over to the door and back for Us !”

As I did they clapped ! 

“Clever Baby girlie..Now let’s put your cleaning hood on sit up and beg like a wee puppy for your hood !

Again they laughed as I begged in front of them ! 

Mommy had a pink hood with white eye ovals and two pigtails from its crown,  it also had wee rubber balls that she had too push hard to pop into my nostrils! 

Next it had rubber lips that had wee nubs all over them, it was so tight mommy had to pull it hard as Aunty Anna zippered it up ! 

Mommy patted it to a loud rubber drum sound !! 

“Now seeing as Aunty Debbie put you in a nice big diaper you can clean her first ! Crawl over to the stool ! 

Put your headie into the cut out so Mommy can fix you in place !”

As I knelt to put my headie in Aunty Anna kicked my rear hard ! 

“Spread your leggies and feeties out as far as you can baby ! 

Handies behind you and clasp your handies !”

She fed an arm binder on me tightly ! 

As Mommy clicked the neck part behind my headie into the chair Aunty Debbie sat in the chair her thighs now each side of my headie ..

“Ok baby Stephanie clean me and you had best make a good job missy ! Or am going to beat you !”

She forced her wet sex into my waiting mouth ! As I started licking !! 

It didn’t take long before Debbie started pulling the ponytails thrusting violently onto my face ! 

“Mommy can I make baby lick my ass ! 

I have always wanted to have a sissy rim

Me ! “

Mommy chuckled as she told Debbie 

“Baby will do as she is told no matter what you ask of her ! Or she will be in big trouble !”

“Right baby Stephanie am going to lay right back and I want to feel you licking my beautiful shit hole girlie !…. O’fuck yes ! Now get that tongue in ! Deeper baby girlie ! That’s the way ! Open wide ! ..missy !”

I suddenly felt matter at my tongue ! 

O M G no !!!…

I pulled back but she quickly followed me pinning my head, as Mommy realised what was happening ! 

Mommy held my headie pushing hard onto Aunty Debbie !

“Do as your told Open Wide ! Wider baby Stephanie ! Take it in your mouth then swallow ! “

Aunty Anna was clapping as Debbie grunted hard followed by a huge scream as she climaxed ! 

“Clean Aunty Debbie up baby Stephanie Do it !”

I leaped up Debbie’s hole cleaning as best I could it was terrible !

“Now Open Wide and keep your headie backwards !”

Mommy barked at me as she fed wet pissie pants into my mouth ! 

“Bite down baby !”

Aunty Anna put a face harness on me holding my mouth shut ..as I wheezed out my rubber nose holes loudly…. Aunty Debbie got out the chair …

“OMG Mommy Susan where did you find baby Stephanie ? “

Mommy chuckled again

 “She came to me ! She wants to be a good baby girlie 24/7 

So we have an appointment with Mistress Kay on Friday then the real fun will begin as I makes her into a proper Baby Girlie !”

Aunty Debbie smiled at me …

“My my what a lucky baby girl you are Stephanie…. Aunty Debbie will make some special things ready for Sunday seeing as your to be a 24/7 Babyslave I have something special in mind  for you little one !”

Mommy patted my hood…

“What do we say baby Stephanie ?”

Fwankew Aunty Debbwie ….

“Clever Baby girlie see you on Sunday be a good girlie till then ok …”

She hugged them both then left … 

Mommy came back over to me as new tears started… 

Mommy smiled at me…

“Clever Baby girlie that was a lovely cleaning job, just got your Aunty Anna to clean now baby girlie Aunty Anna !”

Anna got into the chair her sex was Very powerful ! She was very obviously turned on by what I had just done…

Mommy removed the face harness… 

“Now not a word little lady just do as Aunty Anna tells you or we will punish you again but much worse ok ? (I nodded) 

I hope so baby Stephanie as Mommy wants a very Obedient baby!”

Aunty Anna spoke to me…

 “Open Wide baby girl… that’s a clever 

wee baby girl ! 

Aunty take these wet pissie pants out of your mouth but don’t fret you wil have them back after you clean Aunty Anna..

There we go !

Now baby girlie lick very soft and slowly around the sweaty area first then Big long licks up each side till Aunty Anna is nice and wet…

Mmmmm clever girlie that’s the way but look up at me as you clean … much better little one .. Now tongue in nice and Deep fill that sissy baby mouth up with Aunty Anna’s lovely fluids… Mmmmm my my your a wee natural baby Stephanie ! 

Now As wide as you can and listen only to My Voice !”

Mommy was putting head phones on me ! 

As I could now here crying in the distance..

Not normal crying it sounded hysterical…

“Clever Baby girlie just concentrate on My voice ! Lick Aunty’s bud ..mmmm flick it with that sissy baby tongue ! Mmmmm Now suck it !…. Here we go Swallow crybaby Swallow all of it !”

Aunty was peeing into my mouth it was dribbling down my pvc dress and I had to gulp to keep up … 

As she Finished I was panting for air ! 

But she pulled her hips up to line up with my mouth ! 

Mommy pweese…hhummph ! 

Aunty pushed hard on to me as Mommy held my headie ! 

“Just swallow and it will be over soon make Mommy proud baby girl !”

I heard Aunty grunt hard as she started face fucking me ! ! …

Mommy kept up the pressure.. as Aunty Barked at me 

“ Swallow you wee bitch your going to learn to do everything we tell you and so much more !”

Aunt Anna started thrusting as she climaxed hard squirting fluid into my mouth ! 

Mouthful after mouthful of it !

Mommy whispered into my ear Wee’wee baby Stephanie…

I wet my diaper as I swallowed down the sex gift from Aunty Anna… 

Mommy patted my rear …

“Ok princess Big Deep breath for Mommy and push hard … clever girlie baby Fill your diaper…come on push hard past Mr Pluggie !…

 That’s the way Mommy is going to put a much bigger pluggie in you for bedtime so she needs you nice and empty baby !”

I felt the first pass the plug as I took a further Deep breath to push a second load  slid out then a third ! 

Panting hard I started crying again but this time bawling like a three year old…

What was happening to me I desperately wanted to cry and bawl like a Baby ! 

Mommy and Aunty Anna put me down in my cot for a sleep with the pissie pants gag and face harness on as I sobbed myself to sleep ! … 

I awoke the next day but to my surprise I was fully dressed in a baby outfit and my wrists were cuffed to a pink leather corset and garter affair ! I had on white tights with a huge frilly rear and black Mary Janes !

Mommy appeared over the cot ..

“Hello little one it’s a Very special day today so Mommy has to get you up and into the car ok ?”

I nodded to her…

“Now it’s Very important today you do what your told when your told ok Baby Stephanie?”

Again I nodded …

As she took the cot side Down…

I had to crawl as the corset had a spreader flap under my rubber pants ! 

I was lead outside to her car then strapped into the back seat a short ride into town we stopped in a carpark behind a building as Mommy got me out I crawled in the back door up some stairs to an office… 

Inside was a Lady with Red hair dressed in a business suit .. as we entered she got up and kissed Mommy Susan then spoke to me …

“Ok baby Stephanie come sit in this chair like a clever baby please !”

It was a chair with very short leges in black leather it had a high back and a strange half round at the top ? 

I got into it as Mommy spoke to me …

“Give your handies to Mistress Elaine baby girl !”

As I put my handies behind me I felt strapping being fastened up as my shoulders were pulled unnaturally backwards ! 

Mommy was cuffing my ankles back tightly too the chair legs at the rear ! 

I was whimpering as they both worked on me ! 

The lady told me to hush down as she pulled a strap over my forehead pinning me to the seat ! 

“Ok let’s begin Your Mommy is going to tell you what’s about too happen ok! “

Mommy lent into talk to me …

“ Now baby this is Mistress Elaine she is Mommy’s lawyer and handle’s all her legal matters, but she is also one of Mommy’s best friends so I want you to be a very good girlie for her and talk up nice and loudly answering her questions ok ?”

Wess Mommy..

“Clever Baby girlie..So today you are going to have everything taken from you and given to Mommy so she can have you be her baby princess proper this Mistress Elaine is going to explain to you as she sees fit ! Ok let’s begin !”

They swapped places as Mommy went behind me teasing my nipples gently…

Mistress Elaine set up a camera on a try pod right infront of me ! 

“Ok baby Stephanie… Now is your name ***** **** ? (Wess Mistress Elaine !) 

Do you live at ***** ****?

(Wess Mistress Elaine)

Is this your date of birth ?

(Wess Mistress Elaine)

Mommy Susan says you want to be a baby girl is that true ?

(Wess Mistress Elaine)

Do you want Mommy Susan to regress you both mentally and physically to be a baby girl of three ?

(Wess Mistress Elaine)

Mommy will have complete control over your life do you fully agree to this ?

(Wess Mistress Elaine)

Mommy was tugging on my nipples now as I whimpered out the last Wess Mistress Elaine ! 

They both giggled over my newly emerging behaviour from both the hypnotic tapes and Mommy’s mental torture of my mind..

“Ok so you want to be Baby Stephanie for Mommy Susan… clever girlie baby let’s just do one last thing then this will be complete ok baby ?”

Wess Mommy…

Open nice and wide ! 

Mommy put a leather ring gag behind my teeth strapping it tightly…

Mistress Elaine appeared in front of me it she was not alone ! 

She had a sissy maid with her with an open front maids dress on the sissy had on white frilly tights but her crotch was naked and her hard clittie was on display!

“This is my sissy maid baby girl she is going to face fuck you ! She has not been allowed to come for a month and I have been edging her constantly for this task, she is very full as you can see !

She was patting sissy’s huge balls ! 

Be a good baby and swallow All her sissy gift ! Off we go !…. Sissy Patty fuck baby Stephanie’s cunt face please ! “

Sissy patty kissed my cheek….

“Clever Baby girlie just relax and be a good wee clittie sucker  !”

She put in my mouth guards top and bottom then straddling my face she had me tongue her clittie even harder as Mommy worked my nipples…

But what happened next made me bawl…

Sissy went right to the back of my throat holding my chair back firmly ! 

I had no Air ! 

“Like my clittie baby girlie ! Come on tongue right out !…. Mmmmmm good baby girlie more do it More ! Or I will rape your fuck face !… MMmmmm much better baby Stephanie !!… here we go !”

Sissy started pumping relentless ! 

As Mistress Elaine put a bib on me ! …

[inkandiridescence]

The Start of Something New

This is chapter one of something I've been writing yay

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Every year on Oscar Sunday my family and I would make our own pizzas and eat in front of the TV watching our favorite actors win awards. 

"You know one day..."

"You're going to be on that stage. We know, you say that every year." My dad says with a teasing grin. I would smile into my bite of pizza before going back to cheering on my favorite film of the year.

This year is different though. This year I'll be ordering my pizza and eating it in my hotel room. This year I'll call my parents and tell them "I told you so." 

Sure, I haven't actually been nominated (yet) but presenting an award is pretty cool too. Especially at my age. At first, I was a little upset that my movie hadn't gotten nominated, but it's still an honor to be a part of the show. 

I'm smoothing out my dress when I hear a knock on the door. I don't get a word out before my agent rushes into the room. 

"Kiddo you look stunning." She says and I smile to myself in the mirror.

"Thank you lucy. I mean I gotta look good, Billie Eilish might be there." I say and shoot her a smirk through the mirror. 

"I mean, she probably will be. This is her first-ever nomination." My eyes widened. 

"Don't get my hopes up. Dude, imagine she actually wins. I would hand her the award oh my god." Lucy laughs and picks up a necklace. 

"That would be a sight to see for sure. Oh, by the way, Matt was looking for you." I roll my eyes. 

"He knows I'm getting ready. I told him five thousand times." She laughs before patting my shoulder, "He just wants to make sure you're okay. He really cares about you." She gives my arm a quick squeeze, "Car will be here in ten. Come down soon." I nod and look back toward the mirror.

Matt and I have been dating for almost two years. Our relationship is kind of rocky, to say the least. Sometimes he's really loving and sweet and other times it's like I don't even have a boyfriend. Sometimes I wish I didn't. Everyone would always tell me how they felt when they saw their boyfriend. How giddy and happy they would feel. I don't feel any of that. Even when he's being all lovely. I don't know, maybe there's something wrong with me. 

——

As we pull up to the carpet I see the many many flashes of lights. Butterflies erupt in my stomach as it finally hits me. I'm at one of the most prestigious award shows. Holy shit. 

Matt grabs my hand and gently squeezes it. I smile and look at him just to see that he's recording it. Again. I pull my hand away and open the car door without waiting on someone to do it. 

The cheering gets louder as I step out making me blush. Matt gets out right behind me as we line up to start walking down the carpet. 

"Why'd you pull your hand away?" He asks while grabbing my hand again. "I don't want to talk about it right now." I say as Lucy hurries us onto the carpet.

"Alyssa over here!"

"Alyssa! Matt! Look here!"

"Give us a kiss!"

I smile and look at everyone, ignoring the last comment. Not quickly enough, Lucy comes over to take Matt to the end so I can take solo shots. 

As soon as I'm finished I take a deep breath and walk over to Lucy and Matt. I grab Matt's hand and walk into the theater. We make our way over to our seats and sit down. 

"So, we have time, why'd you take your hand away?" I sigh and face him, "I just hate how you can't be cute or whatever without filming it. Youtube isn't the only thing in the world you know."  He rolls his eyes, "Yeah, I know. And acting isn't the only thing in the world." He mumbles under his breath. I take a deep breath not wanting to start an argument now. 

——

As the night goes on and awards are collected I grow more and more nervous. I'm backstage waiting for the commercial break to end before I go out to announce the winner of Best Original Song. 

I almost shit myself when I hear the voice overhead. "Welcome back to the 94th Academy Awards. Here to announce the nominees for Best Original Song, It's Alyssa Greer." The audience claps as I walk out with a smile and wave. I take a second to admire the audience. I'm standing on the Oscars stage. 

"Each of these pieces has powerful and engaging lyrical motifs, combined with dynamic instrumental storytelling that have touched our souls. They created an emotional experience that will remain with us long after the final credits. Here are the nominees for Original Song." I smiled and let out a small breath as the nominees played on the screen behind me. When it got to Billie's name I said a silent prayer that it was her. Suddenly the cameras were back on me. 

"And the Oscar goes to...Billie Eilish and Finneas!" I smile. I see her and her brother get up and hug everyone. They make their way up to me and I hand Finneas his award first then Billie hers. She hugs me tightly, "Thank you, baby." My cheeks heat up and I can't stop smiling. Baby? You can't be doing that to be girl, I will go feral. 

I had been so caught up in my thoughts and staring like a kid in love at Billie, that I didn't even realize they had finished their speech until I made eye contact with ocean-blue eyes. We walked off together, me trailing slightly behind the siblings.

"Congratulations Billie," I whispered in her direction before quickly making my way back to my seat.

——

The night seemed to drag on. The awards seemed a lot shorter when I was sat comfortably in my own home. But finally, finally, they were over. "Hey, baby we're going to the party right?" Matthew asked. I looked at him confused. "You know, the after-party?" 

"Oh. Right. Sure yeah." He nodded his head happily and pulled me out of my seat to go get dressed in something more suitable for a party. I don't even know what I'm to do at this party. I can't legally drink, everyone here is much older and more famous than me. I'm gonna feel so out of place, and it won't help that Matt will just be vlogging everything.

Sighing I put on a tight sparkly top with matching dress pants. I look kinda hot. "Hey Al, you ready?" I hear from the bedroom. "Yup!"

We make our way down to the lobby and out the door into the car. Here we go.

[deeznutzzzz24]

Little Red Riding Hood

Chapter Two: An Uninvited Guest

Summary: Living a life of caution for as long as she can remember, Y/N has never stayed too long in one place, always moving from town to town in hopes to hide her identity. With the Hunters Moon coming, she knows she must be extra careful, as the local culture resides heavily in the hunting of her kind. One night, when a cloaked figure unveils her secret and narrowly escapes, Y/N finds herself in a desperate situation: kill or be killed. With no face to go by, she must now search through the townsfolk before the stranger can spread the truth about her. But the task proves more than difficult when she realises her only lead is a long, crimson cloak.

Genre: horror, fantasy, little red riding hood retelling

Warnings: cursing, stalking, death, heavy smut (later included)

Pairing: redridinghood!Jungwon x femwolf! reader

chapter one here

chapter three here

chapter four here

Midnight air slips through the town square. The small clearing in front of the monastery lays bare, except for a small crow perched above its tallest wing, scrutinising my every move. The townspeople must be sound asleep in their warm beds. It’d be well past midnight by now, seeing as the way the moon slowly sinks across the stars. I glance to the midnight sky, cursing the way its constellations align so perfectly.

God is taunting me on this night.

He too, has seen my sin.

Perhaps he’s seen all along, and has only chosen tonight as the opportune time to tell me. Observing the empty courtyard to my left, I squint at the quiet townhouses in the distance. No red cloaks hurry through the footpaths.

The fool thinks he can hide from me.

The crow hawks a loud farewell and launches into the midnight sky. I hear it wishing me well as it passes. Smiling, I recount all the times they’ve watched on as I’ve killed the innocent. All creatures of the forest have an equal fealty to werewolves. Even birds know there are loyalties that must never be crossed.

Casting a subtle glance back to the monastery, I watch in silence as the town pastor gently closes the gates.

Shit.

Hearing him approach, I suck in an awkward breath and turn to retreat. His presence will only serve as a distraction.

He hurries forward and touches a gentle hand to my shoulder before I can turn away. “Y/N! I’ve been looking for you!”

Taking in a brief moment of freedom, I release a subtle sigh and turn to face my guest.

Pastor Mikaul has aged fairly since the last time I had seen him. His eyes droop with age, waning on the edge of exhaustion with chunks of hair that seemed to stick to his forehead like a mop.

In Mikeals mind, God was the greatest diety of all, giving sanctuary and hope to all those who send him their precious prayer.

I tilt my head to the side, observing the stern callouses that paint his palms. Some god indeed, stripping his faithful of freedom and leaving them to wander around a chapel all day like mindless fools. Blinded by their faith, High Priests in Avion spend their days locked up without a morsel of food or sunlight. They believe praying is the only thing they need to survive. I suppose it’s silly of me to judge, considering I’ve spent most of my life adapting to the shadows and living by the rules of the forest.

Pastor Mikeal makes an awkward cough as he takes his hand from my shoulder.

Cringing, I watch him shift closer, giving me a stern expression of disapproval. “The Council and I have been wondering why you haven’t been showing up to Church for our Sunday services.” He nearly whispers as he mentions the Council, pointing narrow glances to every corner of the courtyard before proceeding, “I understand your aunt is gravely ill, but perhaps praying for her good health will do better than neglecting your religious duties. You don’t want to break the Council’s trust now do you my dear?” Just as before, the old cripple goes into a hushed tone when mentioning the Council.

I suppress a smile.

Even the pastor fears them.

Under the guise of hiding a sob, I give each eye a firm pinch and wait impatiently for the tears to fall. I spend the next 10 minutes explaining my absences from church, and my dear aunts depleting health that seems to worsen each day. Waving my arms around on occasion, I weave a delicate tale of a hidden antidote, a difficult journey through the Northern treks of Rangaar, and a kind young woman trying to save her only living relative. In this story, and only in this story, I am the kind young woman. I finish my appeal with a long sob and a heartfelt apology thrown in for for his pride.

I watch through the corner of my eye as he stares uncertainly at the ground, catching the way his eyes twist in discomfort.

I’ve been a cold bitch to the him since the day Helena and I arrived in Avion. He wasn’t expecting this heartfelt reaction.

“My dear girl, if it troubles you so, let’s leave it be as it is for now…” he murmurs, briefly hesitating before giving my back a comforting pat.

I force myself into a stuttering mess. “B-but the Council will still be angry-”

“Don’t you worry about them, I’ll let the Council know of your impending troubles.” Giving me a reassuring pat on the back, he sets off in the opposite direction, leaving me to stand alone in the cold. I feel the sad expression on my face wear thin, moulding into the familiar uniformity of a nothingness.

In twelve days, when the winter solstice has begun, he will die. As will most in this town. Nothing has changed.

Our plans are still set, no matter how delayed.

I watch his figure morph into emptiness, chanting the promise once more in my mind.

They’re all going to die.

I turn to continue my hunt, finding myself pushing for any emotion, any small sign of sympathy, but all I feel is my heart sink at the knowledge that it’ll never hold more power over me than my head.

___

The South side of the forest could easily be considered the joyous reflection of the North. Complete opposites in every way.

Ever since Helena and I arrived in Avion, we’ve spent every spare hunting day covering the grounds of the North and West sides of the woods, using their confines of dark solidarity to our advantage while we hunted in secret.

The only few times I’ve needed to cross into the South was to visit Mary, who lives in a comfortable little cottage on the other side of town.

Leaves crunch beneath my feet with weary pace, leaving me to wonder if someone is actually watching me from afar or if it’s just my paranoia. I shake my head, pulling my lavender dress up to avoid a muddy branch in my path. Mary always fusses over my dresses, warning me not to get them dirty or she’ll be forced to do the one thing I hate most; make more of them. While Helena also pushes the importance of dresses as it eases the process of ‘blending in’ with the townsfolk, I’ve never been particularly fond of the discomfort a gown can bring me. Avion may be a quaint and colourful paradise in Summer and Spring, but in Winter the waters soak down through the small winded mud puddles, making it nearly impossible for any young woman to trek through the forest paths. How most Avion women bear the irritation that comes with wearing sun dresses and gowns everywhere they go, I’ll never know. Upholding the social standards of others has never been a concern of mine. Not with my situation.

I look ahead to the narrow stone path closing in, knowing I must be close. Mary usually insists I bring a map of Avion before setting off on my journey to her cottage, as the both of us know it’s not the easiest little place to find. Little does she know, I have a knack for finding people.

The crunch of leaves beneath my boots gradually soften, signalling I’m close. Mary’s cottage is situated in the centre of the most beautiful part of the forest, where the leaves in her garden shine with delicate care as though they’re watered everyday. Knowing Mary, they probably are. Small slivers of sunlight catch a small cottage coming up to my left. Hues of pink and green hover in small spaces of light above the roof. It’s almost as though Mary’s cottage is where the fairies come to congregate. That wouldn’t surprise me, honestly. I can already picture Mary welcoming them with her cinnamon cocoa and warm smile. Unlike the rest of the townsfolk, Mary has a pure heart filled with patience and compassion for the magical elements. Creatures of myth have never scared her, but that’s only because she’s never met a creature of dark magic.

She wouldn’t accept me, and as much as my affection for her stands firm, I certainly wouldn’t expect her to.

The smell of warm chocolate and pastry fills the air as I approach, pushing all thoughts of acceptance aside. Mary usually waits out the front for my arrival, fussing with my coat and boots so that I can enter comfortably, but today, she’s nowhere in sight. Making my way past the small porch steps, I take off my shoes and go to place them neatly by the door, stopping abruptly when I hear voices coming from inside. She must have a visitor. I glance to the small shoe rack by my side, searching for any shoes that mightn’t belong to Mary. I don’t see any.

Strange.

She hates it when people don’t take their shoes off before entering. Pressing my ear to the door, I listen in silence as I hear Mary’s voice accompanied by that of a males. Before I can catch what they’re saying I hear a loud crash followed by a scream.

Mary.

This was no visitor,

but rather an uninvited guest.

_____________________________________________

Authors Note:

Sheesh that took me forever haha, sorry to everyone who’s been waiting. I’m really going to try and punch out another chapter this week cause I’m getting too invested in my own story LMAO.

No fr, send help💀

Anyway hoes comment in the comment section if you want to be added to the taglist (for those that haven’t already asked)

Taglist: @ramenoil @moonmoongi

[winters-mistress]

Foster Dad Geralt

"Hey." Geralt says, slowly coming into the dimly lit room once the girl inside gives him permission.

The blonde looks up at him, and Geralt smiles, holding out the red mug in his hands.

"I thought you might like something to drink, it's hot chocolate." He says, leaning it down as she reaches for it. "I thought it easier to put it in a mug with a straw because of your sling, didn't want it to tip over. Not because of anything temporary. Would you like me to take it off?" He asks, once she's pulled the mug to her chest, holding the hot cylinder close.

"No, it's good. Thank you." She whispers the last bit, looking down at the blankets around her legs.

"Would it be okay if I sat down next to you?" He asks. Ciri nods slowly. "Thank you." He settles into the chair next to the bed. "When you'd like to go to sleep, if you want to turn the lights off, it's these three switches by here." He points to a trio of switches laying on Ciri's large, white nightstand. "Obviously, the switch to turn off the lamp is just to touch it and it'll turn off. But if you'd like to keep it on, or all the lights, that's perfectly okay, too." He nods to the remote controls. "The long one controls the TV, its pretty self explanatory. That one is the amazon stick, we've got Disney, Amazon, Netflix and prime. The blu ray player is the thick, little one. Our dvds are in that white wicker basket over there." He points to across the room, where one of the IKEA units stand, and sure enough, in the middle, there's just such a basket. "In here," he opens the first drawer of her bedside table, "there's snacks, like crisps and chocolate and pop tarts and such. One underneath it has water and soda and juice. And the fourth has sanitary products if you need them. All stocked up with every kind you could need in every size."

"T-thank you. I haven't had this much consideration before." the girl whispers, looking down at her bruised hands as they clutch the mug of chocolate drink.

"I don't know what you've been through, but I can tell you that you're safe here. You're more than welcome to everything in the room, and in the house. I can't promise to be perfect, but I'll look after you the best I can." Geralt says earnestly, leaning forward. "Is there anything you'd like for breakfast tomorrow? I'm not such a bad cook."

Ciri smiles, tears filling her eyes. "Pancakes. Grandma would always make pancakes on Sunday mornings."

"Then pancakes it is. If you'd like, we can go down to the valley tomorrow, get you things to make you more comfortable here."

"Maybe in a few days, I'm-I'm very tired. And you've done more than enough to make me comfortable, it's more than I ever could have asked for." Ciri sniffles, unable to wipe her cheeks with the sling on her left arm and the mug in her right hand.

Geralt inhales sharply, barely remembering to keep it quiet for the skittish girl in his care. "Is it okay if I come closer?"

"Yeah." she whispers.

Geralt carefully perches on the bed. It may be a Queen sized bed, but he's a big guy and she's a small, injured girl.

Giving her all the time to say no or push away, Geralt runs his fingers through her hair.

"Take some deep breaths," he rumbles. Ciri feels it more than she hears it. "In and out."

Ciri sniffles, taking a sip of her drink.

"Whenever you're ready, we can go to the valley, get you some more clothes and pyjamas and stuff like that. Stuff you'd like?"

"Thank you, Geralt." she whispers, looking up at him. "You're very generous."

"Nonsence, I can't promise to be perfect, but a few bits of clothes and some trinkets are hardly anything big."

"No, I mean all this." she looks around. "Kid bursts into your life through a police phone call, spends three weeks in hospital and turns up at your door in the middle of the night with nothing but a sling. And seeing all this, it's all very nice."

"Would-would you like a hug?" He offers awkwardly. "My father always said they made everything better, although my brother kicked him in the shins."

Ciri wetly chuckles. "Yes, please."

She sighs deeply, closing her eyes as strong, thick arms wrap around her, enclosing her in heat and safety.

She hugs him back as much as she can, with being one limbed at the moment, and notices he doesn't pull back until he does.

"Uh, obviously you've seen the bathroom, where the towels and hampers are kept, as well as the wardrobe and drawers. You remember where the kitchen is? You're welcome to raid the refrigerator anytime you like."

"Thank you, I do remember. Down the hall, staircase to the right, two flights, big room on the left." she recites. The girl stretches underneath the thick blankets she'd managed to pull across her lap.

"Well done. My room is the one on the right at the bottom of the other side of the hallway, if you need anything. I'll be popping in throughout the night to give you your pills, just so you can get straight to sleep and not have to worry about measuring and stuff, you should rest for now." He says, pushing hair from her face. "You'll let me know what you need? Anything to eat or drink, stuff like that?"

"I will, you're very good to me." she leans into him.

"While I may not have expected to be named as guardian, I am glad you're here. I want to take care of you as best I can, although I don't know the first thing about teenage girls or what they like. Be patient with me, yeah? Well take everything one step at a time."

"Just want my arm to get better, that's the first thing I want." she shuffles closer.

"You don't have to tell me what happened, I'm not gonna do what the social worker did and pressure you into it. We'll take it at your pace, just want you safe from that guy."

"Don't want to think about him anymore. At least not for a few days. With everything, him taking me, the crash, the weeks running and the next in the hospital, I just want to rest for now."

"Then that's what we're gonna do. Your pace, yeah?"

Ciri nods, finishing the hot chocolate as Geralt kisses her head, before gingerly standing up.

"I'll leave you to sleep, hmm? Be back in a few hours for your medicine."

"Okay, good night Geralt."

"Goodnight, Ciri."

[resi4skz]

CHAPTER 7

Pairing: idol!Chan x Rebecca Greywood (OC)

Warnings: none for this chapter

This is purely fiction!

Cover by: @3rachasdomesticbanana

After the first concert, many concerts came along with it. Two months after the first, they started their first world tour and I had to go with them to all. There were only 1-2 months between that we got to come home but even then, the boys were busy making songs and practicing new choreography for their next album Go Live.

They all even changed their hair color. While 4-5/8 stayed a darker color, the others started off with vivid colors then turned to darker colors. Chan started with green and pink which ended up with black with red streaks on the front. It was a differnt look on all of them, espeically Chan. Personally, darker hair suited him best. It brought out his facial features more. As I was applying concealer under his eyes, he opened his eyes as if to say something. "Ah, sorry. Did I press too hard?"

"No. I had been meaning to tell you about the suggestion you told me about months ago. For my hands."

"Oh?" I resumed applying the concealer, covering his dark circles.

"I used a hand lotion and my hand had never been so smooth," he replies.

"Oh, I'm glad it worked out with you," I smile as my phone chimes for the 20th time today. Annoyed, I completely shut it off and put on the counter.

"Trouble in paradise?" Chan asks, his eyes following my every move as I set his under eyes with face powder.

"It's nothing," I lie.

But it wasn't a lie. For the past few days, dad had been trying to get in touch with me via email and now my phone has been ringing nonstop. I still don't know how he got a hold of my new phone number but considering how he snoops around, I wouldn't be surprised if that's how he got it. And honestly, I didn't have time for that kind of stress. I finish his face with makeup spray. "Done."

"Thanks," he smiles and leaves. Their performance went smoothly and when they were done, they packed up and left to do the rest of their schedules.

------------------------------------------------------------

It was Sunday and I was getting annoyed at my phone for constantly ringing. "Oh for the love of god, pick up your phone!" Luna yells coming out from her room. I ignore her as my phone goes silent before my email notifications sound goes off. She sighs and picks up my phone. I hear her gasp and I look at her, confused.

"What is it?" I ask. She gives me my phone, sitting down beside me. I look down at my phone. It's an email from my dad's lawyer.

To Ms. Rebecca Greywood,

I hope this email finds you as your father has tried to get in contact with you many time regarding a confidential agreement. Below is the form that has been signed by your father, it just needs your signature to make it official. Please keep in mind that I'm only doing my job and I tried my best to make your dad re-think his options but he was adamant about this. Please forgive me.

Regards,

Tim

I click on the document. "What the fuck?" He disowned me? That motherfucker disowned his only biological daughter? I feel my vision start to blur but I wipe my cheeks and look at Luna, who's surprised to see me cry. "My dad disowned me."

Her face softens as she hugs me. "Oh, Becca. I'm so sorry."

"I mean," I say, wiping my cheeks. "Who does that? To his own daughter."

"I know, honey. I know," she rubs my arms consoling me. "Let it out, I'm right here."

I angrily wipe my face. "No! I will not cry over a man who never once in his life saw me as his daughter. Who never told me he loved me. Never told me to have a good day. Never told me that it's okay to fail because failure wasn't a choice for him. I will not waste a second over a father who never even tried to contact ever since I've moved across countries and this," I point to my phone, "this is how he repays me." I write my signature on the document and send it back to Tim. "There. Now he can be happy with his life with his mistress and her son."

Luna opens her mouth to say something but I stomp my way into my room, shutting the door with a bang. Hours go by, I lay in bed, with the blanket over me as I stare at the ceiling. Why do I feel like crying when I swore to myself that I would never cry over a father who never wanted me in the first place?

But I did. I cried myself to sleep that night.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Over the next few weeks, I work like a zombie with little to no breaks. Even Luna told me a few times to take it easy. But my my mind was on overdrive. I just wanted to not think about anything else and that's why I indulged myself in work. And whenever I had free time, I was in the gym. It kind of helped though because I gained more muscle which made my arms more toned. I even lost a couple of pounds ehich wasn't great for my wardrobe though.

I was applying Felix's foundation base very carefully when Han excitedly comes to me. "Noona! We're going to practice later, do you want to come and watch?"

"That's so sweet of you to ask, Hannie but I'm pretty busy." At this point, I was just making up excuses.

"Oh come on, noona. Just come and watch. We really want you to come," Felix says. "It'll be fun!"

I watch their expression turn into a pout. Good lord these boys. Sighing, I nod. "Fine. I'll come." I chuckle at their little victory dance.

*CHAN'S POV*

I changed into sweats and headed down to the dance room. But when I opened the door, I was greeted by the guys already inside goofing around. And then I saw her. She was laughing at something Han and Binnie were saying to her. The same pain comes back in my chest and then she looks my way, and suddenly it's hard to breathe. I cough it out which makes the others look at me.

"Oh good, Channie hyung is here. We can start the practice," Hyunjin announces.

I watch as she sits at the very back. "Is she going to watch us dance?" I ask as I walk over to Felix.

"Oh yeah, Han and I asked her," he replies. "Hope that's okay with you, hyung?" I nod my approval.

The boys and I get in positions for 'God's Menu' and wait for the music to start. Through the mirror, I watch as she watches our every move with the song blasting in the room. When the song ends, I point out the errors and we start again. After about the third time, we were halfway through the song when she suddenly gets up, startling us and runs out the room. I.N. cuts the song and we look at each other like we did something wrong that made.jer run out.

"Is she okay?" Leeknow asks.

"Should we go after her?" Han asks.

"You guys stay here," I say as I sprint after her. I glance around the hallways and empty rooms. "Becca?" I peek inside an empty studio and spot her sitting in a corner. "Becca? Gwenchana?" When she looks up, my chest hurts but this was different pain than before. I crouch down to her level. "What's wrong? Did we do something to upset? If so, I'll apologize."

"No, it's not you guys," she replies, sniffling. "Watching you guys dance just reminded me of the past." More tears roll down her cheeks. "It reminded me of the times I was the happiest."

"Please don't cry." I suddenly felt helpless. I wanted her to stop crying.

"My dad disowned me." She wipes her nose with the sleeve of her hoodie.

"What?"

"Oh yeah. I even signed the papers and everything to make it official," she replies.

And then she tells me everything. From the moment how she wanted to audition to JYPE to the point where her dad put the USB in the water. She told me she was a med student before becoming a MUA. She told me everything about her dad marrying his mistress and becoming a step sister. And she told me about Patricia, her stepmom who wanted Becca out of their lives for good ever since her dad made her and her step-son move in. She spilled her heart out to me and I let her because I saw how much pain it gave her for keeping it all in.

By the end of her telling me, I watch her visibly relax. "Feeling better?"

She nods, chuckling. "Yes. Thank you. I don't know why I just told you everything."

"You're welcome. I'm glad I was here. The guys are probably wondering where we are though."

"They must be so worried!" She gasps.

I chuckle. "It's okay. They're probably just goofing around."

She giggles and my heart skips a beat. I seriously thtink something is wrong with it. "Thank you, Chan. Really. I had been working non stop for the past few weeks and telling you everything felt like a huge weight lifted over my shoulders."

"Well, I'm glad you told me. The guys actually noticed that you weren't yourself lately."

"I'm sorry." Why is she apologizing?

"Hey," I grab her hand, squeezing it and she looks at me. "Don't apologize for something that's not even your fault. Just keep your head high and focus on what you want, yeah?"

She gives me a soft smile. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"How do you know what to say and make the others feel better?" She asks.

Chuckling, I stand up and offer her my hand. "People tend to forget that I've been in the industry before I even debuted with the boys." She takes my hands, standing up. "I had to toughen up in order to focus on what I wanted and needed."

She smiles, sniffling. "Kudos to you, Channie." She gasps and I laugh. Only the boys call me by that name but hearing it from her was kind of refreshing actually.

"It's okay. You can call me that," I reply. And when I tell you the ways her eyes lit up, it was was like a kid given candy for the first time. It was adorable.

"Ah! The guys must be worried!" She exclaims but I stop her running.

"It's okay. I texted them after I found you."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome," I smile as I lead her out to the hallway. "You good by yourself to go home?" She nods. "If anything, you have my number so don't hesitate to use it, even if it's for a quick chat."

"Yeah. Thanks again."

"No problem," I reply. "I really should get going before they all come looking for me. See you at work?"

She nods, smiling. For some reason, knowing she's feeling better made me feel at ease. "See you at work."

------------------------------------------------------------

*BECCA'S POV*

As soon as I enter the apartment, Luna comes running enveloping me in hug. "Whoa whoa, what is this?"

She stands back. "I thought you'd be sad? Wait," She examines me from head to toe. "You cried but you look....happy?"

I roll my eyes, as I walk in the kitchen. "Okay. I need names. Spill."

"Why are you assuming there are names?" I ask, pouring water in a glass.

"Rebecca Greywood, you have been miserable for the past few months and suddenly you're in high spirits? No. That doesn't happen unless there's someone involved," she replies. "Or unless a certain blonde haired australian boy confessed?"

I choke on water and cough. "What the fuck?"

"He confessed?!"

"For the millionth time, no! It's not like that!" I groan, setting the glass down. "We just talked."

"And?"

"And I told him everything," I reply.

She blinks at me. "Everything?"

I nod. "Everything."

She goes quiet for a second before saying, "Well, shit. If that ain't the cutest thing I've heard today."

I pinch the bridge of my nose. This woman needs a hobby. Or a boyfriend. I start walking towards my room. "Rebecca and Chan sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-" I shut my bedroom door and close my eyes. Sheesh.

I quickly change into comfy pjs and take off my makeup before finally settling in bed. I was suddenly so sleepy. As I close my eyes, my phone chimes. "Ugh, who is it at this time?" I grab it and my lockscreen pops up with Chan's name on it. Clicking it open, I smile at his message.

C: i hope you got home okay?

R: yes, currently laying in bed to sleep.

C: glad to hear :)

R: thank you for today, i dont know what i wouldve done if it wasnt for you to show up like that

C: dont be too hard on yourself. just keep your head held high and aim for what you want

R: aye aye captain

C: lol its good to see you like this, becca. the boys and i were starting to get worried.

R: im sorry for making all of you worry. i just had a lot on my mind and didnt wanna talk about it

C: im glad you told me. im also glad you let that frustration out. next time come to me if something bothers you

My heart starts beating faster at his text. Why is he being nice to me?

R: just you?

C: yeah, wae? Shireo?

R: oh now the korean comes out?

C: ;) goodnight becca

R: goodnight, channie

Smiling I put my phone back on charging. I sigh as I finally close my eyes and fall asleep faster than I have before. I dreamed of flowers and sunshine. And among the flowers and sunshine was the man who listened to my problems and never said a thing about it to me. I dreamed of him smiling and laughing.

------------------------------------------------------------

Author's note: this fanfic won't have nfsw scenes. It's going to be on the sweet and cuter side. I'm not going to make them get together till much much much later.

Text & Korean romanization legend:

C = Chan

R = Rebecca

Gwenchana = are you okay/alright?

Wae = why?

Shireo = don't like it?

Hyung = older bro

Noona = older sis

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

Keep Driving - Part 2**

FINALLY! This part is really long but theres a wee bit of angst, tons of fluff and the long awaited smut!

WC: 10k

PART 1

It was Sunday and Y/N had called Harry in the evening saying she wasn’t feeling up to an early day the next morning and despite her saying that she was fine, he knew something was wrong. She didn’t sound sick, but she sounded off. She hadn’t said anything about their breakfast being cancelled, she just mentioned cancelling the hike, so in the morning he bought stuff for pancakes, including tons of blueberries and other ingredients and then he headed over. He arrived around 11am and saw her car wasn’t out front like it usually was, so he called her and she answered after a few rings.

“Hey!” He said cheerfully.

“Hi Harry, what’s up?” She asked sweetly.

“Ummm, maybe I should’ve called first… I’m out front at your place, but ummm your car’s not here. I definitely should’ve called you before coming out.” He thought aloud again, feeling a bit foolish and defeated at his failed kind gesture, “Bought stuff to make pancakes.” He explained and she smiled.

“Ummm, I am home it’s just that my car’s at the shop actually.” She explained, she sounded like she was in the middle of something.

“Oh. Well, you sound preoccupied, I can go if I’m intruding?” He said and she sighed.

“No, I’ll be out in a second.” She assured and hung up. 

Y/N felt and looked a mess. It was day 3 of her period (day 2 & 3 were evil twins from hell in her experience) and on top of that she had gotten a call on Sunday afternoon that Matti had a really bad fall. She was worried and she tended to internalize and keep to herself when bad things happened. She reached the gate and opened up to see Harry in some shorts and a hoodie, in his true fashion, with a tote-ful of groceries on his shoulder and a warm smile on his face. She on the other had had her hair up in some messy updo, she had been cleaning all morning, and was in an old boyfriend’s t-shirt and shorts. 

“Don’t even hug me, I’m all gross from cleaning all morning.” She warned with a chuckle as he came closer and he rolled his eyes.

“Don’t care about that. But fine, but you owe me.” He said as he followed her back to her little house. She nodded, but was quiet and it made him feel like he had intruded. As he stepped inside she guided him straight to the kitchen, still in silence so he decided to just say something.

“Made some strawberry lemonade if you want some.” She said first, opening up the fridge and he grabbed her hand resting on the handle, making her stand straight and turn back to him.

“I can leave if you’d rather be alone. You just sounded off yesterday and I wanted to surprise you, but sometimes you just need space.” He reminded and she sighed.

“No, seeing you is really nice, Harry. I probably need it, so thank you for coming over.” She reassured him and he sighed, trying to decipher if she was being honest or not. Did he do something wrong? Was she not into him anymore? Was he being really overbearing? He felt confused and he was trying to figure out the reason for her behavior right now, “I’m being honest, Harry. It’s just…really hard for me to let people in when I’m… having a hard time.” She nearly gritted out, it was even hard for her to explain this to him, he could tell it was hard for her admit that she was having a rough day.

“Well you don’t have to share what’s going on, you know? I’m not gonna pester you about it if you don’t want to talk about it. Can just distract you with my delicious pancakes.” He offered and she smiled at him, “Have you eaten?” She shook her head ‘no’ and looked down at the ground before speaking up.

“Matti had a fall, a serious one.” She disclosed and he frowned upon hearing that, “Her daughter called me yesterday afternoon and told me that she fractured her hip, forearm, and elbow. And she got a concussion.” She said.

“Oh my god. I’m so sorry…”

“I just get really worried, you know? She needs surgery for the hip fracture.”  She explained, “And with COVID no one’s allowed to go visit her, not even her own kids. I was able to get through on the phone yesterday evening, but she was sleeping.” She explained and Harry nodded, she started rambling a bit, “Either way, I’ve just been feeling really anxious about the surgery and I tend to clean when I get like this. But I don’t typically eat because I just feel sick when I’m anxious and then I’m like hangry! It also doesn’t help that I’m on day 3-”

“Day 3?” He butted in and she brought her hands up to her face and groaned.

“Forget that. I’m just-”

“Oh!” He said when realization struck him.

“Ughhh, none of this is your problem.” She mumbled to herself and he grabbed her hands, pulling them from her face to be able to see her properly.

“No, technically not.” He said as her eyes bore into his, “But I care about you and I can be here for you if you want me to.” He offered and she looked away, “I can also go if you need space.” He reminded her again. 

God, he was so sweet? It was absolutely disgusting. She thought to herself.

“Don’t go. I-I want pancakes.” She said looking back into his eyes, “Your pancakes.” She clarified and he smiled. He wanted to hug her so bad, but he knew she wouldn’t let him right now.

“I can do that. I can get started, I know where everything is,” he said and she nodded, “You can go have a nice hot shower so that you can feel a bit more relaxed.”

“Yeah, I’ll do that.” She agreed as he squeezed her hands in his, “Need to clear out the dishwasher though-”

“I’ll get that, don’t worry. You go and just take your time.” He assured her and she smiled up at him, her eyes were filled with emotions and all the words she wanted to say were somehow stuck in her throat.

“OK. I’m gonna go before I cry. Thank you for coming over, I needed this. Needed you.” She admitted and brought his left hand up to her lips and kissed the top of it and he smiled timidly at her before she hurried off.

Harry cleared out the dishwasher and prepped everything for the pancakes. Even made her a blueberry compote to put on her pancakes, even made extra for her to have leftover. It had been close to thirty minutes when he heard a shriek. His heart raced and he burst into her bedroom and knocked on the ensuite door.

“Are you alright?” He asked through the wood and the door swung open and the steam from her hot shower billowed out around him and when it cleared he saw her wrapped in a bathrobe with a smile on her face.

“I didn’t mean to scare you. I just got excited because it worked!”

“What worked?” He asked.

“I saw this cleaning life hack on TikTok about how to avoid your mirror from getting foggy and it worked!” She said, pointing to the perfectly, fog free mirror behind her.

“Oh wow, that’s kinda sick actually.” 

“I know! I’ll give you a note with what to do.” She said and he nodded.

“Well, I’m about to put on the pancakes, how many do you want?”

“Three. Maybe four…”

“I’ll make four just in case.” He chuckled and she nodded in agreement. He looked her over once more and she felt her face growing hot, “I’ll ummm, let you get dressed.” He mumbled before hurrying out and she bit her lip. Harry shook his head and closed his eyes tight as he tried to think of anything that would help ward off getting a stiffy right about now. 

By the time she had emerged Harry had plated up everything quite nicely for them and had set everything up on the little dining table she had inside. She was more than thrilled to eat and she felt her eyes tearing as he relayed that there was extra blueberry compote for her to use later on. Y/N was raving about his pancakes which booted his ego. After they ate she started to was the dishes since he had cooked, but he insisted on helping her dry. She then reached for the spoon that was sitting in the container of compote and dipped it into her mouth to clean it off. He chuckled as some dripped down her chin and she giggled as she cleared her mouth.

“It’s really good, OK.” She complimented and he giggled again as he saw her chin and bottom lip still smeared with it.

“I can tell. It’s all over your face.” He teased and she ran her tongue along her bottom lip to clear it, “Still got some on there.” He sniggered.

“Help me then instead of laughing at me.” She commanded and he nodded and turned her towards him. He glanced down at her mouth and chin as he brought his hand up to lift her face towards him. She was fully expecting him to wipe at it with the hand he had put on her face. But then he was leaning down towards her and kissing her chin before lightly running his tongue against it to clean up the compote. Her heart was hammering in her chest at this and then his eyes trailed back up to hers before slotting her bottom lip between his lips, sucking on it a few times before she just reached over and turned the tap off. His lips moved onto hers, capturing them in a slow but sultry kiss. She let his tongue dip into her mouth where they made out for a bit until they pulled apart to breathe and he breathed out a chuckle.

“Sorry, I didn’t even ask-” her lips cut him off and then she pulled back.

“It’s alright. I like kissing you.” She whispered with a coy smile.

Once they finished with the dishes they were sitting on her couch, her head resting on his shoulder as a movie droned on in the background and she just started talking to him about Matti, well her full names was Matilda, and she shared some of the stories she had told her. Including the one about how she had ended up in Los Angeles all on her own. 

She hadn’t come from a very good and loving family. Her mother never failed to remind her that she was a mistake and when she remarried and had other kids Matti watched how her mother tended to them and cared for them, something she never had. Y/N explained to him the cruel and demeaning things they did to her and she just let it happen because maybe if she stuck around and did what they wanted then her family would love her. When she was old enough she had, had enough and moved to L.A. She wanted to act, she ended up getting a few supporting roles and met her husband on a set, she traveled the world with him, they had their kids, and lived full lives. She was involved in her community in many ways, she had even been awarded for it several times, Y/N had said.

“Did she ever see her family again?” Harry asked as his hand caressed Y/N’s thigh.

“She said her step-siblings reached out when their mother fell ill. They wanted her to care for her, but she said no. She did pay the funeral expenses though, is what her daughter told me. I asked Matti if she regretted not seeing her again and she said no. She always told me that the family we choose for ourselves is just as important as the one we’re born into. She’s like a grandmother to me I guess and the thought of losing her and her love and her wisdom… it hurts me to think of that. It’s just so incredible to me that someone who never got that kind of love growing up still has so much of it in their heart for others. I aspire to be like her.” She said quietly and Harry hummed. 

“She sounds like a lovely person.”

“Yeah and her kids are just the same… all of the love in her heart went to them and she finally got it back. It’s people like that who make the world a better place, I think.”

“I think so too.” He whispered as his thumb stroked her knee tenderly. 

**********

“Hold on guys, gimme a minute.” Harry said stepping out of the room upon seeing Y/N calling. It was Tuesday afternoon and his day had been extremely productive so far, so he wasn’t deterred from taking her phone call int he slightest.

“Hey you!” He exclaimed excitedly as he picked up.

“Hey, I have a little problem.” She said through a giggle, “My car’s having issues again…” she giggled in some shame and he chuckled.

“Y/N…” he shook his head, “It was in the shop yesterday!”

“I told you my car is an old man! He’s got a lot of miles on him.” She reminded, “I need to replace the valve train but that’s really expensive, OK! I need to save up some more.” She explained, “Do you think you could tail me to the shop and then drop me off at home? If you’ve got some times I’ll make dinner as a thank you?” She offered.

“Yeah, we were just wrapped up. Send me your location.”

“OK. Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She exclaimed.

“Of course, love.” He chuckled, “See you soon.” He smiled. 

Y/N could not stop thanking him once he had arrived. She explained to Harry that her car had been in the shop the day prior for an oil change and tune up, which had nothing to do with the actual serious issues the car had. But she did mentioned that the valve issues really guzzled up her motor oil and she knew it would be temporary fixes until she could replace the part that needed replacing, her mechanic had warned her of this as well.

“Are you sure you aren’t being scammed?” Harry asked her and she giggled.

“I’m sure.” 

“Let’s hear it then.” He said, wanting to hear the noise she had been mentioning to him.

“I feel like you’ll be afraid. Sure you wanna hear what it sounds like?” She asked and he nodded. 

“Yeah, go on, give it a go.” He agreed and she settled into the drivers seat. He knew nothing about cars, just the basics. He could do an oil change and change a tire if needed, but he didn’t really have those kinds of issues. She tried a few times to get the car to start and finally the engine turned over and immediately a loud tapping/rattling sound took over from under the hood and she glanced over to Harry with a scrunched up face from the harshness of the sound from inside the car.

“That sound is… concerning.” He said loudly, trying to hold back a nervous laugh and she nodded.

“Yeah, it’s not usually this loud. But, again, until I can replace the damaged valves it’ll kind of sound like this.” She said and he sighed, trying not to say anything more about it, but now he genuinely feared for her safety.

“Jesus, alright. Well, I’ll drive your car to the shop and you take mine, OK?”

“No, Harry. Just trail behind me.”

“What if you blow up?” He questioned. He was being completely serious about his concern, it was sweet and funny.

“I won’t.” She insisted through a chuckle, “Now, if you blow up the world will hate me. I think I’d rather not take that chance.” She grinned.

“Please don’t argue with me. You’re not winning this one.” He said and after a few moments of unwavering eye contact she rolled her eyes and got out of her car to let him settle in the driver’s seat.

“You need to go slow. I’ll send you the address.” He nodded and soon enough she was trailing behind him. Harry was a bit fearful as he drove her car, that sound was absolutely terrifying. He got worried and called her.

“Yeah?”

“I know I was laughing at first but Y/N, this sound is really concerning! It sounds louder than before.” He explained with worry laced in his voice.”Maybe he needs a break?”

“It’s fine, Harry. It just sounds louder from inside.” She explained through a giggle.

“Seriously, should we stop for a minute or should we just keep driving?” He asked.

“Keep driving. I promise we’re almost there.” She reassured him.

“Y/N, love, your car is a death trap.” She cackled loudly at his words.

“You wanted to drive my car, Harry.” She reminded.

“Fuck’s sake… yeah, alright. Just wanted to make sure it wasn’t getting worse or something.”

“Of course. Deep breaths alright, we’re close.” She said and he groaned before they hung up. He wanted to help her get the damn thing fixed, but something told him that she’d never allow it. After about 15 minutes they were pulling up to her shop. Her mechanic was a sweet older man named Manny. It seemed that he was half expecting her, he was closing in about half an hour, but he told her that he could have the car ready by Wednesday closing time and soon they were on their way to her home.

“I will make you dinner, please just chill out.” She insisted as they got inside. 

“Alright. What’re you making?” He asked.

“It’s a surprise.” She said with a smile, “Are you allergic to anything?” 

“Not that I’m aware of.” He chuckled as she grabbed a bowl from the kitchen.

“Perfect! I’m gonna run out to the garden for a moment.” 

“Wow, farm to table huh?” He teased as she slipped on her sandals and she glanced back at him.

“Only the best for the best.” She announced as she headed out. That put a lovely feeling in his heart and tummy. Soon enough she was back with what she had grabbed and started getting to work. He heard the blender go off for a bit and then things got relatively quiet aside from some subtle chopping sounds

“Want some wine?” She called out.

“Depends…” he called back.

“On what?” She answered through a laugh.

“On what kind it is… I’m picky.” He informed.

“Well, I only have good wine, Harry! I took a few oenology courses for fun in college.” She called out and he chuckled.

“Alright. I will trust your judgement.” He announced. It was quiet for a bit and then he spoke up again, “I’m partial to reds!” He said and not even ten seconds later she was coming over towards him with two glasses of red wine in each hand and he smiled.

“So am I.” She grinned, “I’m so over whites and pinks.” She mumbled. “My friends only drink those and they’re just…” she cringed and he chuckled as she handed him a glass.

“What is it?”

“It’s a Cab,1982. This wine was awarded a 90/100 by critics.” She informed, “This particular bottle was gifted to me by Matti for my 25th, it was from her personal collection. We bonded over wine.” She said and he smiled, “She made me promise to not crack it open until the right time.” Y/N smiled down at the wine in her glass, “She always said I would know when it was the right time.” She hummed before looking back up at Harry. 

“Well thanks for choosing me to share it with.” He responded quietly, “To Matti and her wisdom.” He raised his glass towards her.

“To Matti.” Y/N repeated softly.

“And to you fixing your car.” He said and she laughed loudly before they gently clinked their glasses and each took a sip. His eyes went wide as he swallowed it down.

“Holy shit.” He hummed as he savored it.

“I know.” She grinned before heading back to the kitchen, “Food’s almost ready.” She announced, “Can you set up outside?”

“Yeah.” He responded, hurrying over to the kitchen to grab the utensils, seeing there was pasta boiling and some pesto. “You made the pesto?”

“Mmhm. S’one of my specialties.” She grinned.

“S’one of my favorites.” He grinned as he hurried out of the kitchen.

She was really treating him today. First that wine and then having that pesto she had made, he moaned when he took the first bite. He could taste every ingredient separately but together, it was insane. She had also roasted some cherry tomatoes with chili flakes and salt to top the pasta, and of course some pine nuts for texture. He certainly went back for seconds, which he could tell made her proud. Harry fully intended on heading back after dinner, but soon they were halfway through the wine bottle and leaning against her sofa as they talked.

“So what’s your zodiac sign?” He asked and she giggled.

“Libra.” 

“So that’s why we get on so well!” He mused a bit drunkenly, “I’m an Aquarius, I knew I liked you from the start. We’re just on the same wavelength.” 

“So you’re into horoscopes, huh?” She giggled and he briefly rolled himself onto her and kissed her lips briefly.

“Yeah, a bit. But don’t tell anyone.” He warned with a giggle.

“I wouldn't. You know… no one in my life even knows about you.” She informed him and he frowned.

“You’ve got a habit of humbling me…” he groaned as he rolled himself onto his back again and she laughed loudly before scooting over to him and she puckered her lips and pressed a chaste kiss to the tip of his nose.

“I didn’t mean it like that. Just that I like this being only between us. My friends can be a bit nosy and pushy sometimes. Don’t want to ruin this.” She explained and he hummed in understanding.

“OK, was about to get all pouty in a minute.”

“You were all pouty.” She giggled drunkenly, “S’cute though.”

“You’re cute.” He rebutted and she smiled. 

Then they started talking about their favorite flowers and the places where they had traveled. It was exciting for him to know that she had visited London before. He liked hearing that she would love to go back and not just to London, but explore the whole country. In between their conversations there were heavy make out sessions that made them concerned about getting too far in their condition. Things were getting hazy as they laughed and finished off the bottle. He knew he would be paying for it in the morning, but he didn’t care right now. He sent a text to Tom to let him know he was OK, but just not OK to drive. And Y/N even got a spare toothbrush for him and they made a little makeshift bed in the living room where they settled down. Harry got hot and stripped off his shirt, nestling back into the mattress made from the couch cushions.

“Harry?”

“Yeah, love.”

“I know I already said it, but thank you for helping me today. You’re such an incredible person.” She mumbled sleepily.

“I’m happy to help.” He responded quietly and soon enough she had drifted off and nuzzled her way into his side and his face hurt from smiling until he too fell asleep.

When Y/N woke up the next morning she was a little bit sad to see Harry had gone, but she was aware that he had things to do up at the recording studio. She stretched for a moment on the little makeshift bed before getting up and heading to the kitchen. It appeared she had just missed him because there was a steaming cup of coffee and a bow of fruits on the kitchen counter with a little note and sloppy smiley face drawn beside it. Y/N laughed as she read over the note he had scribbled on the back of a random flyer she assumed he pulled from the pile of mail still resting on the counter: Get your car fixed! - Hxx

************

“And he lives!” Tyler announced to Tom when Harry walked in the next morning with a small frown on his face. Sunglasses over his eyes and the lengthy layer of his hair in a haphazard updo at the crown of his head.

“Don’t shout, mate.” Harry grumbled and Tyler chuckled along with Tom as Harry just let himself plop into the giant beanbag in the lounge area, that seemed to be his favorite seat.

“Alright, H?” Tom asked through a grin.

“No. Had a whole fucking thing of wine. Fucking tannins.” He mumbled and groaned from the pounding he felt in his head, “It was really good wine, but I drank like I was 20 years old. Forget that I pay for it way more now.” He winced at a particularly sharp bite of pain zapping through his head.

“Ah, the grape juice blues…” Tyler hummed knowingly and Harry’s eyes shot open and he pushed his sunglasses up and looked to Tyler.

“The what?”

“Grape juice blues…? S’what my mom calls her hangovers.” He explained with a smile and Harry bit his lip.

“I’ve got an idea.” Harry said shooting up from his seat and started heading to the live room, “Oh and maybe call those drip hydration people, I’m dying!” he called out to Tom who chuckled and nodded. Tyler followed Harry into the live room area where he saw him nestle into a little nook by the window and open up his journal to start writing.

***********

“Oh my god!” Y/N squealed in excitement as Harry stepped on the gas pedal as they drove through the Malibu canyon to get to the studio. He didn’t want her driving herself after he experienced her car for himself. Harry grinned at her before shifting the wheel a bit to the right, catching the turn just right as the wind blew at them fiercely. His music was blaring loudly, and she just let her right arm hang out to feel the wind whipping through her fingers as she threw her head back against the seat, her eyes closing at this feeling; it felt like freedom. Harry smiled as he looked at her for a moment before focusing back on the road. Big Love started playing and she grinned wide at him as they started to sing along.

“This is such an underrated song!” She said loudly over the wind and he nodded before they started singing loudly again until the song ended. “Let me choose a song.” She said and he handed her his phone and after a few seconds the familiar notes of Adore You started playing and Harry laughed upon realizing it but he didn’t hesitate to sing along with her.

“It’s the only thing I’ll ever do. I-iii-iii’d walk through fire for you just let me adore you, oh honey!” Harry sang loudly and she grinned over at him.

“OK…” she exclaimed rolling her eyes playfully making him laugh again as they finished off the song.

“That was cute. M’gonna use that on tour.” He chuckled.

“Yeah, people will love it!” She assured through some laughter.

Soon enough they were cruising past Zuma beach and winding their way up the hill to the studio. He was explaining to her why they were staying there and that for the first bit of time they’d be finishing up a song with his friends.

“Yeah, that’s cool.” She assured, “It’s OK that I’m coming right?” She asked and he nodded.

“Of course. S’my studio time.” He reminded her and she nodded.

“Right…” he’s Harry fucking Styles she thought to herself. She was still nervous. “What do I say if they ask how we met.” She looked over at him.

“Oh, they know how we met.” He chuckled, “And they know all about you.” He said with a smile, “They’re the ones that pushed me to get on the bloody app.” He giggled and she shook her head as she chuckled, “I don’t regret listening to them…” he glanced over at her as they pulled up to the gate.

“Neither do I.” She hummed as she pushed her sunglasses up on her head. Soon enough they were pulling into a parking spot and stepping out of his yellow Ferrari. She had been in a fucking Ferrari…

“OK, so they’re really nice and they’ll behave, I swear. So no need to be nervous.” He said to her and she nodded a bit tensely and he chuckled, taking in her posture and that pretty sundress she was wearing. She would be the death of him.

“I’m nervous because I’m like…where legends have been…” She said to Harry, “Where they come to make their art like… it’s a mind fuck.” She said softly with some reverence and awe and he smiled.

“I feel the same way.” He disclosed, “I wanted to throw up the first time I recorded here.” He shared with her, “Had to do some heavy drugs to make it through the writing sessions.” He confessed and she giggled.

“And now look at you, practically set up camp here for a few months… that’s some legend shit.” She said through a grin and he chuckled and shook his head incredulously. “S’true and you know it!” She giggled at his humility, “I’m sure Rick Rubin doesn’t let just anyone come stay here for months at a time.” She pointed out with a grin.

“Are you trying to butter me up?” He asked with a teasing smile.

“No! I’m stating literal facts, Harry.” She asserted and he bit on his bottom lip to suppress the big grin that was fighting to be on it.

“Do you care if I kiss you out here?” He asked and she shook her head with a timid smile, “You sure?” He grinned and she rolled her eyes.

“Just do it.” 

“Don’t need to tell me twice.” He hummed stepping up to her, grabbing her face gently and pressing his lips into hers. Suddenly they heard some whoops and they turned quickly to see Tom and Tyler chuckling like idiots, “Jesus…” he muttered through a laugh before pulling away. 

Y/N felt her face was on fire from the embarrassment of being caught with Harry. She wasn’t naive, people have needs and they don’t like being lonely, it’s only human. She just didn’t want his friends to think that she just wanted to sleep with him because he was Harry Styles. She liked him and wanted to sleep with him because he was weird and fun and sweet and thoughtful… he offered her the most basic things she could ever want. Like feeling comfortable, understood, safe, and worthy. She didn’t need anything lucrative to be dangled before her to take the bait; she was already hooked and being reeled in by him in a way she didn’t expect.

“Hey, you good?” His voice brought her out of her thoughts, “I’m really sorry about them, I didn’t know they were out there.” He said with a small frown on his lips.

“Oh, it’s OK. I was just thinking.”

“About?”

“I’m just a little anxious to be here.”

“Don’t be. I promise my friends aren’t asshole, they’re probably just stoned or coked out or something.” He said and she exhaled a laugh, “C’mon.” He said taking her hand and cocking his head to the side, signaling that they go on and she smiled as she allowed him to lead her to the grassy area where his friends were now sitting at a little table. “Hey guys!” He greeted them simultaneously, the men turned with big smiles, “This is Y/N, she-”

“Oh fucking finally!” Tyler announced making Tom giggle.

“Don’t mind him.” Tom said standing to extend his hand to her, “We’ve just been hearing about you nonstop for months.” He said softly as they shook hands and Harry cleared his throat making Y/N giggled, “I’m Tom. Or Kid, or whichever you prefer.” He said through a dopey smile, he was trying to look composed.

“Y/N.” She introduced herself before Tyler was coming up to her.

“And I’m Tyler, s’wonderful to finally meet you, Y/N.”

“Likewise.” She giggled again. They had just started to chat a bit when a car horn sounded aloud making them all glance back.

“That’d be my wife. Change of plans, H.” Tom said, “She’s taking us to dinner and then to run some errands.” He explained as Harry waved to the SUV and the woman waved back with a bright smile.

“Alrighty, kids. Have fun, don’t do anything too stupid.” Tyler announced as he hugged each of them and Tom did the same before they headed off. 

“Should we take an edible before we start dinner? It’ll make it more delicious…” Harry mused as they walked through the grass and towards the main house.

“Honestly, sounds like a fucking blast.” She hummed as they kicked off their shoes before heading inside. Soon enough they had each eaten up a laced peach ring candy before they got into the kitchen and he started working on their dinner. Harry had asked her to help chop up some things for the sauce he’d be making for their pasta - she could never have enough pasta- and when he glanced over at her diligently chopping he smiled.

“You know, I like spending time with you in kitchens.” He pointed out and she giggled.

“I think you’re starting to get high.”

“Mmmm, no. You’re just really nice to be around.” He said coming up beside her, “Don’t get tired of you, like ever.” He confessed and she bit her lip, “Do you get tired of me? I tend to get comfortable really quickly and just make myself at home and-”

“No, I don’t. I really like having you around.” She assured and he smiled before dipping down to kiss her. A soft and sweet kiss soon escalated to a heavier and hotter exchange with her being hoisted onto the unoccupied piece of the counter as his large hands rubbed up and down her thighs until they heard the pot with the pasta start to bubble over and Harry tore away from her and rushed over to the stove to turn down the heat and she chuckled.

“You gotta hand on this?” She asked and he nodded, “Lovely, can I… explore?”

“Sure.” He smiled and she bit her lip and walked out of the kitchen. 

Y/N soon wove her way into the lounge area. There was a humidifier in there, a few laptops on the couch. She then made her way down a corridor and found two full bedrooms, she didn’t wander in though. Instead she turned back and went down another corridor leading to what she assumed would be the control and live room. And as soon as she made it through the doorway and into the control room she was overwhelmed again with a sense of respect and awe. She felt so small and unimportant, not in a bad or insecure way, but in the way that reminds you that you’re just a cog, a speck in the universe, a footnote in the symphony that is human existence. 

Her skin was crawling with goosebumps as she saw the little couch/nook by the window, many famous pictures have featured this little spot. And right on the cushion she saw a yellow journal, it looked a little careworn. As she peeked down at it she saw an HS engraved into the bottom right corner of the cover and smiled. Harry was one of those great minds who came here, created, and changed the world. Something about that made her heart pound anxiously. Who even was she to be so fortunate to know someone like him?

She moved along before she got too overwhelmed with the feeling and continued on to the live room. She walked down the few steps it took to get down in there and she smiled as she glanced around. There were instruments all around but she gravitated towards Harry’s galaxy painted guitar first. She smiled as she reached down and let her finger run along the metal strings just once. Then she saw a piano and headed towards it. She had a phase in high school where she was super into learning piano and she wanted to be a musician, she really like Regina Spector and Birdy. As she settled into the bench she bought her right hand up and played a few scales and arpeggios that her teacher used to have her do to warm up. It was the only thing that she currently recalled how to play after so many years of neglect to her long forgotten passion project.

“I didn’t know you played.” She suddenly heard and she gasped as she looked up to see Harry standing at the top of the steps that looked down into the live room.  He was wearing a gentle smile and it warmed her from the inside out.

“Scared me…” she reprimanded and he hummed a sorry as he came down towards her, “And I don’t play. I started to take lessons in high school. I really wanted to be the next Regina Spektor or something.” She giggled, “I don’t know what made me think I could…and after I graduated I just stopped.” She shared.

“I think anyone can do anything, especially you.” He stated with assurance as he stopped at the piano. “Wanna lay down a track? I can record it?” He smiled teasingly and she sniggered.

“Yeah, no. Don’t want to taint the greatness and magic this place holds.” She said looking up at the ceiling with some reverence and he chuckled.

“You wouldn’t, but OK. Go on.” He said as he encouraged her to continue the warm up exercises. “You know, I record here all the time and I’m still learning to play piano.” He mused and she grinned. 

“Not remotely the same thing.” She said as she sped up the exercise as she had been instructed to so many years ago. 

“Damn, look at you go! I think I should hire you on as assistant to my keyboard player.” He said and she rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, yeah…” she hummed and he chuckled, extending his hand to her, presumably to help her up from the bench. But as soon as she was up he had pressed her into the side of the piano and her hands wrapped around his neck as their lips met eagerly in a kiss. His hands traveled from her waist down to her hips, his fingers timidly reaching just far enough to feel the curve of her ass and she smiled against his lips. “Harry Styles.” She playfully scolded, “Still desperate, I see.” She hummed and he bit down on his lip as his eyes fluttered open to look into hers. He genuinely loved the hold she had on him.

“Like you’re not?” He asked back and she grinned.

“Mmmm….could be fun.” She mused and he chuckled, feeling a bit worried now. Maybe she didn’t like him the way he liked her.

“Fun, huh?” She noticed the slight worry in his voice and she brought her hands down his chest and bit her lip.

“Sorry, if I make light of things I just… get scared of my own feelings.” She opened up.

“I do too.” He assured and she bit her lip.

“But at least you feel confident about it and try… I just…flee.” She explained.

“Why?”

“I’m just scared that I’ll get hurt. It’s happened too many times before when I’ve put myself out there, so I just deflect.” She explained with a shrug.

“You’re still scared I’ll hurt you? Even if I’m clearly into you?” He asked and she shrugged.

“Reciprocated feelings are more reason to be scared.” She said with a smile and he nodded with a smile, that much was true. “I think this is the only aspect of my life in which I’m not an optimist. I’m a little insecure.” She admitted in a small voice.

“Don’t know what for…” he said and grinned, making her roll her eyes as she giggled, “Can I… show you something?” He asked and she bit her lip nervously and nodded. “C’mon.” He said, grabbing her hand and guiding her up to the control room and pulling out a chair for her, “Bear in mind that production’s not completely done on it, so be kind.” He said and she smiled.

“I’m sure it’ll be great.” She said with a confident smile and he chuckled as he pulled up a track titled ‘Late Night Talking. Version 1’ and when it started an upbeat synth played before the drums kicked in. The song was upbeat and fun and the lyrics were sweet and there was a bright smile on her face as she listened on. As the song came to an end Harry spoke up.

“I’m planning to add horns where the synths are.” He explained.

“I really like it, can’t wait for the finished product.” She grinned excitedly.

“Thanks and well, that was written about when we first started talking a while ago.” She felt the blood rushing up to her cheeks upon his confession, “I really like you and I get that having feelings for someone can be scary. Especially someone like me.” He said more softly, “But I want to do right by you. As much as I can and I just feel really good and really free around you. You bring this feeling of home with you that is so prominent and I just find myself wanting that for me too. I feel like I learn from you and I hope that I’ve brought a similar feeling to you as well.” He said and she rolled her lips together, trying to suppress the smile that was threatening to break out onto her lips.

“Yeah, you have.” She confessed and he smiled timidly, “And I do like you too. A lot.” She admitted and he smiled and grabbed her hand.

“It’s good to hear that.” He chuckled nervously and she smiled, “Do you want to eat now or keep touring the grounds?”

“Let’s keep touring, the edible is kicking in and I would like to at least remember this place clearly.” She said and he sniggered.

“OK, let me take you to the bus then.” He assured before guiding her out of the live room, back down the corridor and out into the yard. They got into the bus and she was beyond words. Internally she was freaking out as Harry showed her the smaller recording space and even showed her how to use the control board, which was quite scary for her, she was afraid she’d mess something up. 

They emerged from the bus giggling, the sky was turning this gorgeous pink and red mix as the sun started to set, she could see the glimmer of the ray’s reflection in the ocean below them. It drew her attention and she headed over to a little open spot of fencing, loving the feeling of the cool blades of grass beneath her bare feet. When she got to the fence she leaned into it exhaling long and slow before smiling. Moments later she felt Harry’s warmth behind her and a soft request of consent before he wrapped his arms around her waist. She glanced back with a smile, granting him the permission to hold her. His hold was comforting. She knew that eventually he’d have to go and she would miss having him this accessible. Her sad thoughts were interrupted by his lips on her cheek, this brought her back to the limited time with him and suddenly she was willing to admit how desperate she was. 

“Harry?”

“Yeah, love?” He asked, making space for her to turn around.

“Kiss me.” She said timidly with a smile and he smiled. 

Harry brought his hands up to her face and held it gently as he dipped down to connect their lips together slowly and passionately. Her brain suddenly shut down, all of the fears and anxieties were replacing with the sounds of their lips moving together, their labored breaths, and the distant sounds of the waves colliding with the shore. Their kiss grew heavier as the minutes passed and they just sunk down to the ground and he dragged her onto his lap He was wearing these old thinned out corduroy shorts and her could feel the heat emanating from her core. 

“Should we go inside?” He asked her when their lips parted for a moment.

“Yeah, let’s go.” She hummed as she climbed off of him and they rushed inside.

“Wanna show you something.” He said guiding her to a part of the main house she hadn’t explored yet. There was a hidden little staircase that led to an upper room. He climbed up with her behind him  and she smiled as she saw up there. “It’s a quiet room, far enough from the live room to let you think without distractions.” He explained and she smiled at the very minimally decorated space. There was one large window up there with a clear view of the ocean and a bed right beneath it resting over a large area rug. There were some more bean bags against one of the walls with a funky lamp resting between them, but no art anywhere. She did notice that several luggages were up there, probably everyone’s stuff and a half bath. There was also a stack of books on one side of the bed and a yoga mat rolled up neatly beside them.

“Is there where you’ve been sleeping?” She asked and he nodded, “It’s cute.” She smiled.

“I think so too, quite like it up here. I open up the window in the evening, keeps it nice and cool with that ocean breeze. The waves lull me.” He said and she smiled. What a dream.

“Thanks for having me here. I really like it.”

“Of course.” He hummed as he extended his hand to her and she grabbed it and guided him to one side of the bed before pressing him down to sit. 

Harry glanced up to her coyly as her fingers ran through his perfectly soft hair. With the way the setting sunlight was pouring through that gorgeous window above them she could see the clear green of his eyes perfectly. He was so beautiful it made her heart pound erratically. There was no point in stalling so she just leaned over him to kiss him deeply. His hands ran up her thighs and to her hips, wrapping around them to pull her down into him. He scooted up on the bed and pulled her along with him. He smiled as their legs tangled together and the kiss heated up even more. He positioned himself over her and ground his hips against hers, he let out a soft groan as he felt her hands land on his backside, pushing him closer to where she was surely nice and wet for him.

“I’m getting desperate.” She mumbled against his mouth with a grin and he laughed softly before sucking her bottom lip into his mouth for a moment.

“Fucking finally.” He responded and she giggled. 

Her little squeaks of laughter continued as he nibbled on her neck, his curls tickled her skin making her wriggle about as he continued on more deliberately. Suddenly the playful kissed became more intense as he moaned against her clavicle, she had spritzed some perfume on her chest and he was getting the sweet scent as he kissed at her skin. He started to suck at her collarbone, the skin was so sensitive there and she whimpered as he left his mark on her skin. She liked it when her partners would leave reminders of their time together on her body. It was erotic and exhilarating. He reached down to one of her thighs, parting her legs further apart, causing her dress to ride up, allowing him to grind his aching bulge right against her center over her panties. With one particular motion he humped right against her clit making her whimper his name and he grinned.

“Feels good, baby?” She nodded as her breathing started to grow heavy as he continued grinding into that spot.

“Oh god, yes!” She whined and he groaned, grinding a bit faster. If he didn’t stop soon he would surely bust in his pants and he didn’t want to do that maybe all over her ass or tits. If she’d let him he’d rather shoot his load all over her swollen and sticky pussy. He stopped abruptly and he could see in her eyes that she wanted to complain, but she didn’t, not a peep. She just swallowed it down and he remembered what she had told him several weeks ago… in essence it came down to the fact that she didn’t need him for sex. She liked being with him, they were clearly attracted to each other, but she didn’t need it from him. Whether that was something she took care of herself or had someone else for, he didn’t like it. He didn’t want her to just comply with him stopping mid dry hump and letting it be. Harry wanted her to be so needy for him, the way he was for her. He wanted to fuck her and then have her be desperate to have him again. 

“I really want to fuck you.” He mumbled against her jaw, nibbling and kissing at her skin. She felt like a furnace was rushing through her entire body as he said that to her, “But I’m not going to if you’re gonna be all whatever about it.” He said to her and pulled back, “I only want to fuck people who are just as interested in getting fucked by me.” He said and she swallowed the lump in her throat. She already missed the way he was grinding into her a few moments before, she just knew with those motions that he would fuck well, “So what’ll it be?” He asked and she bit on her lip as his eyes searched hers.

“I want to.” She said lowly and he grinned.

“Mmmm, close to what I want to hear, but we’re not there yet.” He teased and she groaned softly. God his ego was huge about this, probably with good reason. So, she swallowed her own pride.

“I want you to fuck me, Harry.” She said looking right in his eyes, practically pleading with him. He was back to kissing her in no time, only pulling away when they were tearing his shirt off and he was helping pull her dress from her body and tossing it somewhere in the room. 

Her eyes traveled over his heavily tattooed body, he was so buff, it was a beautiful sight. He was wearing some black boxer briefs and she could feel her mouth watering at the outline of his cock and balls straining against the thin material. She could see the very tip of it peeking out from the band of the undergarment. Already a dark pink color and beading with pre-cum.  She couldn’t help but reach out and skim her fingers along his erection. How she longed to have him release himself and shove his cock into her mouth. She wanted to feel the weight of him on her tongue and to feel full with it.

“Go on, do whatever you’re thinking about, baby.” He encouraged her gently and she sat up and pressed him back until he was sitting and she sat between his legs, tugging down the boxer briefs, really trying not to be too awed by his dick, but it was really pretty. Instead she just flattened herself out and immediately wrapped her hand around it and stroked once, slowly. He hummed as she focused on his tip, ensuring to fully encase his length with his foreskin before tugging back down, he rolled his eyes back at the sensation, “Holy shit.” He breathed out as he watched her do this a few more times before she sucked it into her mouth, tongue lapping at the slit, her spit was leaking down his shaft as her fist continued to stroke, spreading it out and lubricating up the rest of his cock. “Fuck, you’re so good at this.” He complimented and she hummed, making his toes curl and his fingers dig hard into the covers. Her pace was steady and it was starting to build him up, more so when she lowered herself and licked at his balls, “Oh shit!” He gasped, “Shit!” He exclaimed as her fist encircled his tip and started jerking him off quickly. It was maybe a minute of this before he was feeling ready to burst and he had to stop it. “Wait, wait, wait. Please stop, Y/N. Don’t want to come yet. Not yet!” He panted and she started to slow down, letting the feeling fizzle out. When she looked up at him there was something in her eyes. Completely glazed over and pupils blown out, he didn’t say anything about it except he pulled her up and kissed her before pushing her back into the mattress again. “Think you enjoyed that a little too much, baby.” He said and she hummed, “You like sucking dick, don’t you?” 

“Yes.” She whispered as his fingers crawled down her stomach. He wasn’t sure how this one would land, but he was willing to take the risk.

“Yeah, you’re a little cock slut aren’t you? My little cock slut.” He said and he saw with his own eyes as her skin became littered with goosebumps and he grinned, “Answer me…” he pressed, hovering over her panties, she was getting antsy.

“Yeah, m’your little cock slut.”

“And you haven’t even had it properly.” He pointed out, “Do you need me to stretch you out a little, baby? Or can you take it?” He asked her more seriously and she shook her head.

“I can take it.” She said and he watched her for a few moments, trying to see if she’d change her mind and when she didn’t he dipped down to kiss her lips and then down her body, paying special mind to her nipples and leaving marks on sides and undersides of her breasts all while his fingers teased along her panty line. He could feel her hips bucking up, desperate for more, so he just decided to slip his fingers in and he groaned at just how hot and wet she was between her legs. Her breathing hitched as his finger tapped right at her entrance where her arousal was pooling.

“You’re so fucking wet for me, baby. Think you’re right, with how wet you are you can take my cock just fine.” She moaned as he pressed his fingers against her clit and started to draw little circles.

“Oh fuck!” She whimpered and he grinned, going faster. He watched as she moaned and her chest rose and fell with her ragged breathing. “Feel’s so good, m’gonna come!” She warned after a few minutes of this and he tutted.

“Already?” He teased and she nodded, eyes desperately pleading for him to keep going, “OK, I’ll give you one like this, baby.” He said.

“Thank you. Thank you, fuck!” She mewled as he sped up for the last time. He felt her thighs tense and tremble beneath him and he encouraged her with his words and kept his speed consistent until she was completely frozen for a few seconds before she withered with a soft moan. Her hands flew down to stop his own that was still rubbing at her slowly, working her down gently. “Fuck, that was good…” she gulped in a big intake of air and he smiled and kissed her lips.

“Do you need a moment?” He asked and she shook her head.

“No, wanna feel you.” She said and he nodded and hurried to the bathroom, she could hear him rummaging around as she slipped off her underwear and dropped them on the ground as he returned with a condom. He got on the bed and took it out quickly with shaky hands before she grabbed it from him and rolled it down his length. He dipped down and kissed her as she opened up her legs wider for him. He ground against her center, working them up as they made out ardently until it was just too much.

“How do you want me to fuck you?” He asked and she bit her lip.

“I mean… you’ve been doing everything right so far.” She smiled and he chuckled, “Fuck me however you think I’ll like it.” She said and he nodded before kissing her once more as he aligned himself so that his tip was prodding at her entrance. He’d press against her and then relieve the pressure, making her whimper, teasing her. “Please, stop teasing me.” She implored.

“I think you can handle a little more.” He said and she moaned as he moved around until he was kneeling and her legs were spread apart for him. He fucked himself between her folds, tip running into her clit with every stroke. “Fuck, I can see you dripping for me.” He marveled and she let her head roll to the side and her fingers dig into the covers as this delicious torture continued.

“Baby, please.” Y/N whined and he bit his lip and nodded, sliding down to her entrance and looking at her as he pushed the tip inside. Her eyes met his and one of her hands reached for his and he intertwined their fingers, squeezing as he continued pushing in. 

Harry moaned at the feeling of her warmth and tightness while she moaned to the feeling of becoming full. When he had fully settled inside he ground himself into her, the tip of him rubbing and pressing into that spot inside of her that made her tremble. After a little bit of that he drew back and started fucking into her at a hard and deep pace. Y/N’s mouth fell open in a gasp as he pounded into her, his free hand resting on her lower stomach, adding to the sensation of depth she felt. It was nearly overwhelming as she tightened her hold on Harry’s hand as her moans grew louder. He maintained this rhythm to build her up to her peak and he loved watching the way her breasts bounced with the force of his thrusts and how his cock would disappear into her tight little cunt as he pounded into her steadily. He delivered one hard thrust and stilled deep inside to grind into her.

“Oh fuck, Harry!” She sobbed as her skin rose with goosebumps at this particular thrust.

“What is it, baby?” He asked with a grin and her back arched as he leaned into her further.

“You’re so fucking deep.” She moaned, “Feel’s so good.” She strained out.

“I can feel your little cunt squeezing my cock. Such a pretty, tight little cunt.” He grunted as he gave her another hard thrust and slapped her clit quickly making her hiss. He could feel her walls fluttering and pulsing around him already and he grinned, “Already getting close, baby?” He asked and she nodded. He hovered over her and kissed her deeply, fucking into her without drawing out of her body. He was swallowing down her moans happily.

“Fuck, look at you? Such a good girl, taking my cock so well.” He said and her eyes fluttered closed, “Like that? Like to hear you’re my good girl?” He grunted and she nodded.

“Yes, fuck yes!” She panted. His words alone were building her up to the point of no return, “Oh fuck, Harry!” She whimpered.

“Rub your clit, baby. Go on.” He said and she let go of his hand and fit her hand between their bodies. Her eyes immediately rolled back as she started rubbing fast little circles against her sensitive little bud. Harry was getting close too, especially with the way her walks were tightening up and pulsating around his length.

“I’m so close!” She gasped and he slid a hand up her torso and up to her throat. He bit his lip as he squeezed a bit and everything seemed to be in slow motion when he saw her small smile as he constricted the air flow. In seconds Y/N’s ability to take a proper breath was gone and she could feel the pressure start to build in her head. She smiled as the only thing she could hear was her heart beat pounding in her head. She felt the pleasure swelling and swelling inside of her, barely able to hang on. She looked into his eyes in the last moments of sunlight, he was so fucking beautiful. Harry smiled at her and then glanced out to see the paradise outside of his window.

“Oh fuck.” She saw him mouth and his eyes fluttered shut.

In seconds the pleasure building deep inside of her was bursting like a current ripping through a dam. It washed over her entire body make her toes curl and the blood roar between her ears as she gasped for the air she didn’t have access too. It heightened the feeling, making it suspend even longer until she stopped rubbing her clit and her hand came over his wrist and squeezed and he grunted as he released with a deep thrust into her and then he let her go. His body came to rest over hers as the pleasure coursed through him. His hot breaths were almost suffocating, but in the best way as she rubbed his back gently until he had ridden it out. 

They kissed slowly for a bit until he finally moved off of her and went to toss the condom. He was sweet and gently used a wet towel to clean her up a bit. He was hoping that she would stay, so he wordlessly brought her a t-shirt and some of his shorts and was more than pleased when she slipped into his clothes, all from the bed. 

“We never ate.” Y/N pointed out with a giggle from her spot on the bed and he chuckled. Now that they weren’t fucking she could feel the edible in system and her body was begging for some food.

“Oh my god, that’s true. Let’s go down, yeah?”

“Can you bring it up?” She asked with these puppy eyes.

“Don’t be lazy, c’mon.” He insisted.

“I don’t think I can walk down stairs right now, H.” She explained a bit timidly and he grinned. 

“Oh…” he mused and she nodded, “I can carry you…piggy back.”

“Deal.” She said and climbed onto his back. Soon enough they were sat in the kitchen enjoying their late dinner before he carried her back up to his room where they got ready for bed and then cozied up, he had her completely wrapped up in his arms and she just knew that when he left there’d be a gaping hole in her heart but this wasn’t practical. She was trying not to focus on the hurt now radiating from deep inside of her and then he spoke up.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?” She asked back softly.

“Ummm…I’m leaving for Italy next month.” He stated.

“Oh.” She responded softly.

“Yeah…” he fell silent for a few moments, “Do you want to come with me?” He asked quietly, despite his nerves and she froze. “Doesn’t have to mean anything serious, but I’m not ready to let this go.” He reasoned and she smiled. Her silence was making him anxious, “Y/N?” He asked meekly and she turned around to face him and leaned in close, her nose nudging his as she nodded.

“Yes.” She whispered.

“Yeah?” He smiled brightly.

“Yeah. I uh, have no idea where my passport is, though.” She realized.

“Well you have a month to figure that out.” He said, “If not, then I guess it’s a one way trip for you.” He joked and she smiled as he kissed her again. As he pulled back and combed her hair behind her ear she saw the way he looked at her and she realized that she also wanted to see this through.

Additional Blurb

[anyoneseenadam]

Healing

pairing: Azriel x reader (acotar)

warnings: TW - sexual assault, rape, objectification and implications of abuse, smut, consensual sex, azriel is a sweetie and rhys is a good bestie

a/n: first of all PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS!!! i’m really proud of this fic but I don’t want to trigger or upset anyone, that being said it isn’t too graphic but still. Anyway I hope u enjoy, this took me three days lmao <333

based on: this and this

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You had your first less than savoury encounter with men when you had barely turned nine. Your body still hadn’t finished forming, but you were growing, and your body was gaining some semblance of shape as you did. It wasn’t much – just a whistle from across the street – but for a second your heart seized up with fear, and in the next you almost felt giddy. A man thought you were beautiful.

You felt like a princess that day – felt the way you had when the boy from your class had kissed your cheek, still too young to process the intentions behind that single whistle. But you didn’t care – someone wanted you.

When you got your first period at twelve – even more changed. Your body felt new, and you didn’t feel comfortable in the changes. Your old clothes didn’t fit and now your mother forced you into tighter corsets for those long, long dinners you had to attend. Your parents were respected Fae in the Hewn City – nobles who liked to drink and smoke and throw extravagant balls. And with your new body you could no longer simply hide in the corner or climb through secret passages with your friends – muddying your dresses.

Now you had to smile when men hugged you slightly too long, laugh when they commented on how much you had grown up, sit pretty and pristine with an old mans hand loitering to close to your rear for hours as you watched your parents drink away their troubles.

By the time you were fifteen you were used to the constant attention, your beauty not uncommon where you lived but still doted on often. Unaware of their desire for your youth, your naivety. The women never offering a helping hand but instead glaring down high skewed noses as their husbands slurred into your ears – still in shock that a pretty, young thing like you was all alone at this party.

When you were sixteen you decided to change that – kissing an alright looking boy at a party and telling him exactly what he wanted to hear so he would kiss you back. He stayed when you didn’t protest as he pulled you to the bathroom and pushed you to your knees. And for this small request, the greasy hands on your body at balls and dinners or any other social gathering halved – now only the truly self-righteous felt they could touch you still.

The only problem was you truly did love the boy you had chosen. He had faults yes, but he was kind – he brought you flowers and kissed your cheek. But he also spoke over you, forced you into silence and took what he wanted. And he always wanted the same thing.

If anything it was his father’s fault. The military commander never leaving room for debate when he argues with his wife – and sons only become what they see in their fathers.

Your father had left with a younger woman a few months after your fourteenth birthday, and you hadn’t seen him since – only heard stories of him galivanting around the autumn court from your classmates. You could see the distaste your mum held you in as she realised she would have to stick around to look after you, not yet old enough to be married. Then Amarantha had taken hold of the country and that possibility had been thrown out the window anyway.

Weirdly enough not that much changed in your life when she took power, the only major difference was that now you had to block out screams before going to sleep and even they had become like white noise. You still drank with your friends on Friday nights, went out with your boyfriend on Saturdays and slept the pain away on Sundays. Your weekdays consisted of school, dinners, balls and whatever more your mother could throw together to appease the high queen.

That and the high lord of the night court had started making appearances at the events your mother threw. He was a cruel man standing so proudly at the queen’s side – but you saw something flickering in his eyes whenever people spoke, complimenting his power and rule. You saw what you felt as you laughed at compliments and lingering touches – you saw pain, but more importantly you saw anger. And right now you could use anger.

During one ball you watched him leave, taking an odd route – not the one that would help him escape the loud music but instead a long winding corridor leading to a series of smaller rooms. Without thought you peeled away from your company, muttering excuses and went after him – grabbing a bottle of wine as you did.

You found him reclining in an empty room and knocked on the door gently. He cracked open an eye – slow like a cat – and beckoned you in. You moved to perch next to him, leaning back with a straight back and letting your head loll slightly as you took a swig of the dark red wine, before passing him the bottle.

“You looked like you could use a drink,” you smiled, eyes focused on his sharp jaw as he held the bottle to his mouth with a laugh.

“One way of putting it,” he smiled. The two of you sat in silence for several minutes as you took in his beauty, his looks plus mannerisms all made him seem like a wild cat - a panther trapped underground.

“Why are you here?” he finally asked, and you raised a hand to trace that sharp jaw. But instead of devouring you as any lesser man would’ve, he brushed your hand away and held it tightly in his larger one. “That’s not gonna happen, you’re what sixteen?”

“Almost seventeen,” you said, cheekily. He laughed but shook his head, squeezing your hand before releasing it.

“You’re still a child,” he said matter-of-factly, and you scoffed, stealing your wine back to drink again.

“Yeah well that’s usually a selling point,” your voice was sad, but you didn’t dare let your eyes stray from his – refusing to show fear, “And you’re so nice to me, I wouldn’t tell anyone.”

He laughed as you pouted, “You practice this in the mirror or something?”

“Usually works in three seconds,” you confess, and he whistles under his breath, “Men are rather easy to manipulate when they’ve been trying to get into your skirts since your first bleed.”

“And you wonder why I’m not about to take advantage of you,” he laughed, and you smiled – a real smile, or real enough. “Plus I don’t think your little boyfriend would be pleased.”

“Eh, he’s never pleased - I don’t think this could make him worse.” Rhysand took the wine back and frowned.

“Does he hurt you?” his voice was sincere but the laugh you let out was not.

“Don’t all men,” he swore, and you laughed again, “Yet you foil my plan to make you fall in love with me and whisk me away to the moon.”

He laughed, but his eyes darkened with deep sadness you were sure you would never understand, “I think we both no that even I could not do that, but I might be able to crush your fly.”

“Little boyfriend? Fly? You really don’t like him do you?” you laughed, head lighter already.

“I don’t like any man who thinks they can hurt women,” he said, frowning when he realised through your passing back and forth there was no wine left.

“Shit that took us like five minutes,” you complained, and he laughed, waving his hand lightly as several more bottles appeared before you – you grinned as you grabbed another.

“So any friends with weaker moral backbones that I could marry?” you asked with a laugh, and he smiled at you.

“I’m sure I could find someone,” he leaned back again. You smiled – finally happy that one night might pass in the company of a decent man.

Soon, you’d find it would be more than one night, a close friendship quickly blossoming between you and the high lord. All your friends were convinced you were sleeping together but true to his word he didn’t touch you, and by the time you surpassed the age of eighteen you didn’t want him to. But that didn’t stop other men.

After a particularly bad argument with your boyfriend that had left you with a handprint on your left cheek you had broken up with him – sending away his apologies and flowers, smart enough to see he didn’t hold the mental capacity to change.

Plus you were beautiful and young, you could certainly do better. And you soon did – rich men who liked to buy you jewellery, and fine clothes, men who enjoyed literature and art and spending time with you.

And at the start of each relationship, for a few blissful seconds you would believe in their pure intentions. But then a hand would drift from your lower back to your ass, or the gentle kiss that followed a necklace would shift from your mouth to your breasts. Not one of them wanted to wait until you were comfortable, so you made yourself comfortable.

You pictured pretty, strong men were holding you down and making you feel something, slipping your own hand between your legs and they penetrated you to try and replicate what you were sure a lover’s touch must feel like. And as always – after the first time- they stopped asking for permission, you were their toy, so you no longer had choice over that part of yourself.

But through nice guys and bad boys, for fifty years you had Rhysand who was a friend – who treated you with respect and finally let you talk, let you breathe.

In the end he was the one who found you, in the backroom of a party – drunk and undressed. You were weeping, curled in a ball with your attackers’ seed dripping out of you, bruises decorating your bare skin. When he turned you over with his comforting hands he found your nose dripping red and the vibrant lipstick you wore smudged.

He helped you sit up and redress, took you home and stood outside the bathroom while you scrubbed yourself clean in scalding water – still unsteady on your feet. You changed into a nightgown silently and neither of you said a word when you crawled into bed next to each other, crying in your best friends’ arms as he tried to console you.

When you woke up, he was gone with just a scribbled message about Amarantha and the name of a healer he trusted. But you just placed it back down, turning onto your back and staring at the ceiling as hot tears ran into your hairline.

You barely ate anything for the days following your assault – fighting with your mother more when you rarely saw her and subsequently breaking it off with your current boyfriend. You had thrown his hands off you when he tried to touch you and the screaming match that followed ended your relationship.

Your bond with Rhysand grew only closer however as you spent nights drinking in candlelight, talking about anything and everything until you were sure he knew every inch of your soul and you his.

“You know what I’m going to do as soon as she’s gone,” you whispered one night as you stared at the twinkling lights you had hung on your bedroom roof to imitate stars.

“What?” Rhys had asked, never letting his eyes leave the ‘stars’ which he had laughed at and then proceeded to rearrange to make them more accurate. To which you threw a pillow at his head.

“Find a hill, or a pier, or a large pit or anything and scream into it until my throat bleeds.” You said and he laughed, the bed beneath you rumbling.

“Consider me on board.” He joked as you sat up to perch at your vanity – smudging the sharp eyeliner you wore with a small brush and applying some red lipstick.

“Wanna go out?” you asked him, and he sat up to with a small, sad smile.

“Can’t.” you understood his implication and frowned.

“I’m honestly surprised she hasn’t gutted me yet,” you tried to lighten the mood, but his face darkened slightly when he joked back.

“Oh she wants to, I’m telling her any information you give me about citizens, so she doesn’t.” He said, ruffling your hair as he stood to leave.

“That’s fair, I’ll keep an ear out,” you smiled, squeezing his hand gently before he left.

Things changed when Feyre Archeron appeared, you saw the way your friend watched her and realised you might be competing for his attention soon, but you were happy for him. Until he brought her to that first party – drugged and barely dressed. You felt the bile rise in your throat as you pushed down memories of yourself in such a similar position, and while you knew he would never hurt her – he was still a man. And you were foolish to believe for all those years that he was a man who would realise this was wrong.

Making polite excuses you left the party, picking up the tails of your dress as you all but raced home – ditching the dress and closing the blinds tightly as you made yourself food in your underwear. The sick feeling in your throat spreading through your chest and stomach as you ate, abandoning your meal halfway for a book and large sweater. And when he knocked on your door that night, desperate to tell you all about her – all about the human girl who he was sure could be his mate, you pretended to be asleep.

You barely spoke to him the whole time she was there, unable to look him in the eyes when she was so clearly out of it – and the feeling only grew when the next morning she would have all eyes on her. You understood that feeling. You instead spent parties flirting with Tarquin, the young high lord who was only a few years your senior or warding off marriage invitations with laughs and carefully placed words.

Rhys would sometimes catch your eyes – furrowing his eyebrows at you when you avoided his gaze, the sick feeling never really leaving. But it wasn’t until you watched Tamlin slay Amarantha with a smile that he tried to speak to you again. Feyre was Fae and leaving with her betrothed and Rhysand had just confirmed they were mates – and never had he needed his best friend quiet like he did now.

You were sitting when he found you, head in your palms and blood dusting the skirts of your dress. You had been sitting near Amarantha when it happened. You looked up when he neared, smiling sadly as he sat next to you.

“Want to go home?” he asked you quietly and you scoffed, standing, and moving to leave quickly. He followed after you, grabbing your arm as you wrenched it out of his grip with more ferocity than he had ever seen from you.  

“Don’t touch me,” he held his hands up, backing away to give you space as you got your breathing under control.

“What did I do?” he asked – smart enough to not presume anything.

“How could you think it was okay, after what happened?” your voice was quiet again, and so sad.

“I don’t know what you mean,” he implored, stepping slightly closer again. You raised your eyes to meet his and he understood, the darkness you carried in your eyes shining through – the memories that resurfaced in those dark moments. “I’m sorry, let me explain please.”

You let him hold your arm softly as he winnowed the two of you to your house where you sat down heavy and tired.

“I did it because she needed out of that cell, but I saw what they did to you and you’re a fae woman, she’s… she was human. So it meant that no one else would touch her.” He tried to explain, “And she wouldn’t want to remember.”

“That’s a horrible thing to do Rhys.” You stated and he hung his head low, “How in anyway was that helping her, to get her out you could’ve snuck her here or just take her to a ball and let her dress normally.”

“I’m sorry, I just knew this would’ve been the safest option,” he grabbed your hand again and squeezed it like he did all those years ago, “It’s over, we can go home.”

“I am home,” you laughed bitterly, gesturing to your house.

“No, you’re coming out of this city – we’re putting it behind us.” He stood and held out a hand.

“I know you’re trying to be dramatic and all, but I have to pack – and think.” You said and he laughed.

“Take your time,” he said, sitting back to wait for you, “And I know it might take you a while to forgive me, but I’ll wait.”

You had left soon after, as he revealed his city to you. Winnowing to a house where two beautiful women stood at the door, strong winged men appearing next to them almost instantly – all sharing the same tear-eyed look. Well, all asides from a short, dark-haired woman who simply smiled.

The men you presumed were Azriel and Cassian barrelled towards Rhysand, attacking him in the most violent hug you had ever witnessed. Mor followed soon after and Amren simply offered him a curt nod, to which he bowed slightly with a cheeky smile.

Cassian turned to look at you and everyone followed suit, you straightened up – not wanting to cower under their gazes.

“And this, this is (y/n).” Rhysand said, placing a hand on your elbow, “She’s the only reason I survived under the mountain.”

You smiled at him, annoyed still – but you still held so much love for him in your heart. You looked away when Cassian approached and wrapped you in a tight hug, lifting you off the ground slightly.

When he released you he looked you dead in the eye, “I am forever in your service.”

“Cassian let go of the poor girl,” Mor exclaimed behind him, and you giggled, looking to Rhys for support.

“Forgot to tell you he’s a hugger,” he shrugged, and you shoved his shoulder.

“Oh did you!”  you laughed.

“Gotta get used to it, you’re part of the team now,” Cassian slung an arm around your shoulder as he guided you inside, “which means lots of hugs and long talks about emotions.”

“Don’t steal my best friend Cassian,” Rhys jabbed at his brother as you all moved to sit inside around a long table.

“He already had I’m afraid, can’t reverse love like ours,” you joined in, patting Cassian’s hand as he punched the air in victory, Rhysand feigning pain as he dramatically collapsed into his chair – a hand over his heart.

When you were finally seated you caught Azriel’s gaze, his eyes locked on you – having watched you interact with his family for less than five minutes and already completely enamoured. You smiled softly when you caught his gaze and he grinned at you, no words passing.

Later that evening – after too many drinks, you found yourself alone on a balcony you found, drinking in the fresh air greedily after all those years underground. You didn’t realise he was there until he was next to you – silent on his feet, his shadows a cool chill passing over your shoulders.

You tilted your head to look at him, in awe of his beauty. Not even Rhysand had awed you as much as this man was, his beauty unparalleled by anyone you had met before. He turned his gaze down to you as well, fighting the urge to reach out and touch you as he watched you move with such elegant curiosity.

“We haven’t had the pleasure of being formally introduced,” you smiled, lifting your hand delicately, “I’m (y/n).”

He met your hand halfway, lifting it to his mouth with perfectly poised and trained grace. “Azriel,” his voice was deep, gruff – and sent chills through you quickly. But when he moved your hand from his mouth you held on, the sparks flowing through you telling you all you needed to know. He similarly made no move to let go.

“Are we? I don’t really know how any of this works,” you laughed nervously but he smiled so warmly and tugged you slightly closer to him with the hand you were still clutching.

“You’re my mate princess,” he said, voice rough from disuse. You smiled widely, eyes forming tears as your gaze never strayed from him – finally getting one person who would truly love you, not your body – but you. He tugged your hand gently and you followed him inside, smiling and love drunk.

“We should probably go to the house of wind,” his voice was quiet as you furrowed your eyebrows at him.

“Me and Cassian have to share a room here, the bed are singles.” You smiled and laughed – irrevocably happy.

“Yeah maybe not,” you said, and he held your hand softly as he walked you to the front door, passed his past out friends, Rhys cracking an eye open when you walked past him, and you turned when he tugged your skirt gently.

You okay? He asked in your mind, and you smiled at him.

I’m perfect, why? You replied as he closed his eyes again, clearly too tired to hold them open - Azriel moving to retrieve your coats.

Just don’t feel pressured into doing anything you’re not ready for, Azriel is understanding he won’t get angry. A sort of cold feeling settled on your shoulders when you realised why Azriel wanted that extra privacy.

Shit forgot I had to do that you joked but Rhysand felt the stress growing, however before he could reply Azriel was by your side again and you were waving him goodbye, your smile tight lipped.

Honestly, you trusted Rhysand when he said that Azriel would understand – but so far you had yet to meet a man who truly respected the boundaries you set, a man who would truly wait. Azriel met your eyes in silent questions before scooping you into his arms, flying high above the house as you squealed in his arms, clinging tightly to his neck, and shutting your eyes tightly as you soared above the vibrant city.

He felt you tense as you neared the house, swooping lower in order to land on the large balcony attached to his room. He placed you on shaky legs gently and looked down to smile at you again – heart so full of love and peace.

Not only was his brother returned to him in one piece, but along beside him came you. His mate. His mate.

You caught his gaze and gave him a tight-lipped smile, terrified for history to repeat itself. You wanted to talk to him and know him – you didn’t want him to learn to love your body instead of you. And you were truly afraid to be touched again, you hadn’t been with a man since you were raped – fear stopping you before they could get close and walls slamming up if they tried.

“Are you okay?” Azriel’s voice was dripping with concern – genuine concern, and the way he said it made tears well up in your eyes. His own instantly widened as he sensed the sadness and fear rolling of you in waves, wrapping his arms around your shoulders as you sobbed into his chest. “Oh sweetheart we don’t have to do anything, c’mon lets go sit down.”

He guided you through the glass doors and sat you down gently on the bed, holding you gently and coaxing you through your breakdown. Once your breathing had calmed slightly and you had pulled out of his embrace, wiping your tears harshly with the butt of your hand.

“I’m sorry,” you muttered quietly, terrified to anger your mate when you’ve only just found him.

“It’s okay darling, what’s wrong – did I do something? You’re not terrified of heights are you?” he asked, and you laughed softly, a smile growing on his face as his worries eased slightly.

“No, that was fun,” he grabbed your hand in his scarred ones and you gripped it tightly.

“Then what was it?” you looked into those beautiful, worried eyes and let out an exhale – bottom lip quivering.

“I just don’t think I can – I can’t do that tonight.” You whispered the words lowly, afraid of his reaction as you clung like a child to his hand.

“Hey, that’s okay – we don’t have to do anything until you’re ready,” he smiled, worries easing. You still wanted to be with him, just not in that way yet – and he could wait. He would wait a million years if you asked.

“Even if I’m not ready for a while?” You asked, and he held your face in his hands gently – looking into your tear-filled, defeated eyes.

“I would wait forever and then some – I have already waited so long to meet you, I’m sure I can last longer, especially if you’re next to me.” Your smile was so sad when you met his eyes.

“I’ve been told that before,” Azriel just pulled you closer to him with a cheeky grin.

“And were any of them your mate?”

“No,” you smiled at him again and he thought his heart was going to combust.

“Well then, I love to prove people wrong.” You buried your head into his chest as his arms came around you once more, “Would you like to sleep here, or would you like your own room?”

“Here is fine, I like the way you make me feel,” you said quietly, tugging on the bond experimentally. Azriel just smiled and tugged back.

“That works for me, I’ll get you a change of clothes.” He moved to stand but you stopped him – tugging on the dress shirt he wore.

“I want this,” you grinned cheekily up at him, and he laughed, but undid the buttons and pulled it off anyway – turning around to let you change in peace. When he turned back around you were looking up at him with wide eyes – looking impossibly cute in his shirt.

“It has holes in the back,” you complained, and he laughed, sitting down to tug off his trousers before sliding under the covers as you scrambled to lay in his arms.

“Well I do have wings,” he cemented his point by letting one drape over your shoulders as you sighed in content.

“Really, I hadn’t noticed,” you deadpanned quietly, burrowed deep under his arms and the covers. His chest rumbled with the silent laugh as he pressed a kiss into your hairline.

The next morning he awoke to you laying on his chest, tracing the scars on the backs of his hands with a delicately pointed finger. He stared in wonder, and you must have felt his gaze because you turned your head to meet his eyes, face still puffy from sleep. As you whispered to him that morning, your chin resting on his chest as you gazed up at him until he rose to get your morning drinks. Barely daring to leave for more than a few seconds. And when he returned he was so glad he did – welcoming the sight of you curled up under his sheets with a shy smile and tired eyes.

“Do we have to do anything today?” you asked as you sipped your drink slowly, Azriel’s’ arm tight and secure around your waist.

“Nope,” he said, delighted at the prospect, “I just want to be with you and my family.”

“Sounds heavenly.”

True to his word, for the next few weeks that past, you and Azriel didn’t progress past slow, occasional kisses and lingering touches. But before either of those he was always searching your eyes – asking permission. And you truly fell in love with him during those weeks.

He was caring and consistent – never promising anything he couldn’t bring. And he cared for you, he cared for you past your body and looks. He wanted to be with you for an eternity.

One night, while you lay together, speaking lowly and listening to the rain fall outside your room – a glass door cracked open, you decided you were ready. You pressed closer to him, your lips meeting his own in a kiss more passionate than you had previously shared.

He followed your lead with just as much passion, but when you crawled into his lap he pulled away slightly.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to rush you,” he asked quietly, hands coming to rest on your hips.

“I’m sure, I love you and I want to be with you.” You told him sincerely, “But I haven’t been with anyone in a few years so I’m a little out of practice.”

You giggled nervously but he furrowed his eyebrows, “But you told me about your boyfriends?”

“Yeah but I – stopped dating about five years ago.” You tried to explain quickly, old nerves being brought up, but Azriel pulled you closer and as always his touch calmed you.

“Can I ask why?” he watched you drop your head a little as you breathed slowly – determined to not let your fear rise, you would probably end up telling him anyway so you might as well get it over with.

“I was raped.” You stated and his grip on your hips tightened slightly as he swore.

“Darling, I’m so sorry,” he started but you stopped him with a sharp glaze.

“You don’t need to apologise, it happened and it’s over now.” He could practically feel you pull away, so he loosened his grip on your hips and instead brought his arms up to hold you against his chest.

“Who did it?” he asked, voice dark and dangerous. You muttered a name lowly – under your breath – and he pocketed in the darkest corners of his mind for later. His shadows itching to tear the man apart.

“Look (y/n), if you’re ready I am more than happy to oblige but I need to know you’re really ready, I will wait as long as you need.” You pulled away from his chest and kissed him gently.

“I’m ready, I trust you,” he smiled up at you from where you perched on his lap and you giggled and he flipped you over, laying between your legs with a feral grin.

He made you cum three times with his mouth and those beautiful, beautiful hands alone – more than you had ever experienced with a man and he hadn’t even received any pleasure yet. Except from the pleasure of watching his perfect mate fall apart on his sheets, over and over.

And when he lay over you, your legs pushed up and wrapped around his waist, and his forearms on either side of your head – he would later swear he had never felt more complete.

“I’m here with you remember, will be the whole time.” He assured you, voice soft as he lined himself up and you smiled.

“I love you so much,” you whispered, and he pushed in slowly, filling every part of you and pushing against every spot you didn’t know you had. You swore under your breath when he bottomed out, the slight pain quickly being reduced to please as he dropped his head into the crook of your neck.

“Fuck baby, you feel so good,” you felt shivers run through your body at his gruff voice and smiled, moaning when he began to move.

He pulled his head from where it hid in your neck and watched as you closed your eyes – head thrown back with a smile – and his hips bucked, desperately trying to control himself as he watched you arch your back.

“Shit Az, you’re so big,” you moaned loudly, unaware of the trance you had pulled your mate into.

“You’re so pretty,” he whispered with a harsh thrust, a hand coming to stroke down your face as you opened your eyes to meet his, “So perfect.”

You felt as if your heart was going to burst from the love that filled it as you reached up to kiss him softly – conveying every word, every thought, through that kiss. When you pulled away you were nearing your end, the sensations building in you without the need of a fantasy or your own hand.

You moaned his name, gripping his shoulders tightly as one hand instinctively moved to stroke down his wing. He shuddered above you with a loud groan – his thrusts speeding up as he to neared release, yours hips surely bruising from the force of his own.

“C’mon baby, need to feel you, need to know you’re mine.” His words ignited something in your stomach, and you clung tighter to him, kissing his sharp jaw as you smiled.

“I’m yours Azriel, now and forever.” Your gentle words pushed him over the edge and his skilful fingers dipping between your thighs brought you down with him. The two of you crying out at the sensations you shared as a growing need to never let him go consumed you.

He collapsed on top of you soon after and he intertwined your fingers with his own as your breathing evened out. He slipped out of you, and you smiled up at him as he sat up, rolling off your body and laying to the side while you came to rest your head on his firm chest. He brought his spare hand upwards – twirling strands of your hair slightly as you rested in silence. After a few minutes, you clambered into his lap and kissed him firmly as he pulled you impossibly close.

“Thank you,” you whispered against his lips, and he felt his heart swell with gratitude to the world for giving him an angel that would willingly hold his hand and guide him out of the darkness.

“I am so in love with you,” he whispered back, and you giggled, a hand moving slowly to stroke him as you felt him harden beneath you again.

“Hmm, is that so?” you whispered.

Azriel, who had started pressing light kisses into your neck, nipped you gently, making you squeal, “What were you saying darling?”

“That I am also deeply, and unequivocally in love with you.” You replied and he rolled his eyes.

“Just putting me to shame with your big words.” He muttered and you giggled – crawling down his body.

“I’m sure I could make it up to you.”

[lemonlushff-iy]

Do you want to play a game?

You do? Good.

You know how these games work if you’ve ever seen one of Clearwillow’s...but game rules are HERE since it’s slightly different! I hope this is fun for people...that was my goal! And I hope you catch the “Easter Eggs” in it. I’m curious how many people will find them all. 

I’ll post everything once it’s done on FFN and AO3, and you can catch what I’m doing for @clearwillow‘s game early on my Patreon HERE! (It might be more smut...It might be fluff. WHO KNOWS! It will be OLR related...and it will go up as soon as it’s finished!)

Special thanks to @underwater0phelia​ for kink help and @clearwillow​ for additional edits...and the IYFF BC for brainstorming! Art by @clearwillow​ for @eringobroke​ - used and edited with permission. 

And now without further ado... The first treat (aka, the “freebie”).

Starting Fires

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from the Inuyasha universe.

"Inuyasha, stop," Kagome giggled, trying to wriggle out of his hold as he pressed wet kisses up her neck. "I don't want to burn your bacon…"

"It's just bacon," he reasoned, his hands sliding up under her shirt. Or should he say his shirt? Fuck...there wasn't a better sight in the world than his best friend...his best girl...Kagome...Wearing his shirt in their kitchen in their house. Now that he had her again, he weren't never letting go of her. "I don't mind eating something else for breakfast."

"You will when your stomach is rumbling later," she blushed, grabbing his hands and pulling them down, his fingers grazing over the lace fabric of her panties. "Behave yourself and go grab a cup of coffee."

"I'd rather grab your—"

"—Coffee!"

She reprimanded, flipping the bacon in the pan. He placed a gentle nip to the side of her neck before moving away from her, a disappointed pout on his lips.

"Fine. But let it be known that I'm doing it under protest," he grumbled, moving to his cabinet to pull out a mug.

"Your protest has been duly noted, Sir," she teased, turning away from the stove to pick up her own cup of coffee. She brought it to her lips, sipping from it as she watched Inuyasha pour himself some. Their life together felt so surreal still. It felt strange to wake up in their house and cook them breakfast.

But it was a good kind of surreal.

The kind where she found herself pinching her arm to make sure it wasn't all some crazy dream. This was their life. And...she loved it.

"Mmm," he moaned, taking a sip from his cup. "As good as ever, Kags," he grinned toothily, and she risked entering his personal space to press another kiss to his lips.

"Glad you like it," she replied, running away from him again when he moved to squeeze her ass. She removed their bacon and eggs from the pan as a text message chimed on both of their phones, and Inuyasha raised a brow in curiosity. She watched him slide his thumb across the screen, before muttering out a low "Huh" as he read the text.

"What is it?" she asked, picking up their plates and placing them onto the island.

"See for yourself," he shrugged, placing the phone down next to her plate. "It's from Sango."

That already piqued her curiosity. Kagome picked up the phone, leaning over the countertop as she read it.

"Hey Guys!" She began aloud. "Miroku and I decided to throw a Halloween party this year. We know it's a bit last minute, but we were hoping you guys could come since you aren't heading back out to California like you thought. Let us know if you can make it! Trying to plan in terms of food. Love you!"

"Love you too," he grinned, and she couldn't stop the shy smile even if she wanted to. She didn't think she would ever get tired of hearing that again from him. The words were like a balm to her soul.

"What do you think?" Kagome asked, handing him his phone back as he began digging his fork into his eggs.

"Up to you," he shrugged. He really didn't care either way. He was just glad he didn't have to go out to California with her. Though, to tell the truth, he wouldn't have minded. They could have had a night in...just the two of them...And he was always a fan of nights in with her. But..."We can go. I know you wanna…"

It was true too. He had seen the way her eyes lit up when she was reading that message. The way she was practically bouncing on the balls of her feet. Kagome didn't want to spend the night in. She wanted to spend her first Halloween back in Montana at a party with old friends.

"But...You...Don't?"

He shrugged.

"Don't matter either way. I'm fine going. I'm fine staying home and fucking ya seven ways from Sunday."

"Yash!"

"What! It's tha truth," he replied with a smirk. "And you can't tell me ya don't like the sound of it," he continued, running his tongue over his fangs. The cute little blush he pulled from her was worth it.

"Well...How about a compromise?"

He paused, lifting his brow in curiosity.

"Go on…"

"What if we went to the party...Just for an hour or two...and then afterward we can come home and have sex? Oh! We can even wear couple's costumes again!"

The phrase couples costume made his butt clench so tight he could probably twist off a beer cap with his cheeks.

"I'll agree to go to the party...but not the couple's costume."

"But Yash," she whined, coming around the island to take his hands. "That's part of the fun…"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"I'll wear something slutty?"

"N—" He began, ready to tell her no again when his brain processed her offer. "Keep talking."

"I'll wear something slutty and sexy?"

"...Uh-huh...And what else?"

"...And you get to take it off of me?"

He almost said yes...but he was a greedy fucker. He was probably gonna take it off of her even if she hadn't offered that.

"Do I get to do more than that?"

"You mean other than wear a matching outfit?"

"I do."

"Well," she began, tilting her head to the side and pursing her lips in thought. "I'm assuming that sex is a given…"

"But you can say it anyway, and make it interesting," he shrugged. If he was going to get roped into this...because he was going to say yes, because he loved her...then he wanted to squeeze as much as he could out of this.

"Ok...If you do it, sex is on the table...and I'll also add you picking the place and position," she decided, causing his eyes to light up.

Place and position huh?

"Well...In that case Darling, you've got yourself a deal!"

Her childlike squeal and the way she giddily clapped her hands, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet, made him feel like he made the right decision.

"Now let's talk costumes…"

He groaned, shaking his head and digging his fork into the eggs on his plate.

Then again...Maybe not…

He let her prattle on for a while, running different ideas past him...But he knew that it ultimately wouldn't matter. He was going to give in to whatever she wanted. If she wanted him to go as a hot dog, and she was going to be a bottle of mustard? That was what was going to happen. Wasn't sure how she could make it sexy...but sure. Her call. Prince and Princess? No fighting it. Batman and Catwoman…

It had piqued his interest, but she almost instantly changed her mind. The cowl would be uncomfortable for his ears.

So, she decided on a fireman and a dalmatian. He looked over at her phone when she held up a picture of the costume she had found for him and sighed.

"That's what you want?"

It didn't look too bad. And it looked like he could maybe get away with just wearing the pants. He was going to have to be sneaky about it though...He could do just a t-shirt and those pants.

"Please?" she beseeched, batting her long lashes at him. "It will be so cute! And you'll look so good!"

He tilted his head to the side, and she chewed the inside of his lip as she watched him roll her suggestion around in his head. She really liked the fireman outfit. She thought it would be fun! And he would look good in it too...She could already picture him slowly taking off the jacket to reveal his bare torso...the suspenders holding up his pants hanging limply at the sides as he slowly peeled himself out of—

"—What are you thinking about Kagome?"

She looked up at his face and saw him looking at her, a smirk stretching his lips as he limply held the phone, leaning down across the island.

"N-nothing," she blushed, swiping out to grab the phone from him, but he pulled it away from her at the last second.

"Nu-uh. I can smell it when you're lying…and I can smell it when you're—"

"—NOTHING!"

She insisted, grabbing the phone from him this time, and his grin turned predatory.

"Ain't nothing, or you wouldn't be smelling like that," he countered cheekily before his gaze began to darken. "Ya know...You don't have to keep that bottled up…"

"Inuyasha," she warned as he straightened, running his carefully filed and declawed fingers along the island countertop as he slowly came around to her side.

He was ignoring her, however.

"Kagome," he replied, closing in on her in just a few short strides. "Were you thinking about me in that fireman outfit?"

Sometimes she swore he could read her mind.

"N-no…"

"Liar," he purred, placing his hands onto the granite top on either side of her hips. He had effectively trapped her...and he was looking at her like prey.

It made her swallow because her mouth was suddenly dry. And made her lower abdomen heat. The intensity and desire in his gaze...the slight glint of fang in the morning light…

Fucking hell...She wanted to be his prey. Wanted to be captured and eaten and...eaten…

He inhaled deeply, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as he lowly moaned, "Fuck Kags…"

"W-what," she swallowed, and his smirk widened into a fangy grin before his lips crashed into hers.

AN:

I WILL ONLY DO THIS WALL OF TAGS ONCE! All future treats will be completely hidden under cuts so I don’t spam everyone’s timeline with in your face kink!

@clearwillow, @keichanz, @dangerouspompadour, @nartista, @kaze-ranna, @superpixie42, @sticky-llama-perfection, @pinkpigeonstudio, @mcornilliac, @itzatakahashi, @zelink-inukag, @juliatheanimelover7, @i-dream-of-soup, @smmahamazing, @the-lucky-ones311, @cyncyn981, @animemomma96, @ayari17, @underwater0phelia, @sailorbabydoll92, @l-taisho29, @animelove1313, @littlemissinukag​, @gofoulpuppycollector, @umacaking, @chanin29​,  @willowandfog​, @lebiishoujo​, @theinuyashareader​, @bluejay785​, @irrationalandimpossible​, @cstorm86​, @ruddcatha​, @desiree239​, @littledaisy91​, @liz8080​, @cannibalsforbreakfast​, @horriblehowl​, @arcprz​, @daisy-st-pati3nce​, @senneth-pendra​, @nsr0716​, @eringobroke​, @kagometaishostory​, @thisshipisbananahs​, @sunsetskys​, @ajoy3fanfics​, @sangoslays​, @v0dka-cat​, @cloudsz04​, @lavendertwilight89​, @yurawiththegoodhair​, @saturnsilence​, @lavaffair​, @blairex​, @fawn-eyed-girl​, @fandomobsessions016​, @neutronstarchild​, @preciouslyours​, @kalsies​, @shnuggletea​, @ladyphoenix0711​, @littlestuffstohide​

See you at 500 notes!!

[nhstadler]

A/N: So, I wasn’t going to post this because I wasn’t sure if this scene might give away too much, but since I got a lot of requests to post another James POV and I feel absolutely terrible for not being finished with the new chapter yet (I’m honestly working on it!) I decided to publish this bit here. 

I have a lot of these snippets from James’s POV because it helps me to understand him better and the way he acts, but they are often kind of spoilers for the story so I can’t post all of them. I took out one bigger reveal that I wrote into this scene to not take away from the main story, but I hope you enjoy this little glimpse into James’s story nonetheless.

For orientation purposes: This scene happens after Chapter 38: An Anthology of Almosts, in which Henry Pennington showed up at the Three Broomsticks.

B A T H R O O M F L O O R A E S T H E T I C S

I’m pathetic; like this, slumped over the toilet bowl like a heap of misery, my brain takes delight in throwing tonight’s highlights at me in a never ending sequence of awfulness. Of course she’d end up with someone like Pennington; fucking wholesome, well bred, all-around nice guy Henry Pennington.

Fuck.

“Mate.” Freddie is frowning at me, looking so worried that I instantly want to tell him I’m OK. Unfortunately, the alcohol in my system has other plans.

“Fuck, James, why did you get this shitfaced?” Augustus says when the retching finally subsides and I can rest my cheek against the blissfully cool toilet seat for a minute. I’m fairly certain my exorcism isn’t quite finished yet.

“Fuck off… Like you’re never pissed…” I slur, barely able to keep my eyes open. It’s a dick move to insult my friends when they’re spending the wee hours of their Sunday morning on the cold bathroom floor with me, making sure that I don’t choke on my own vomit, but I’m still too out of it to be even vaguely coherent.

“You’re beyond pissed.”

“Here, drink this.” 

I open my eyes to find Freddie holding a water bottle out to me, but my limbs feel more like decorative appendages at this point. Even reaching for it is an effort - one that is only successful because Freddie practically presses the bottle into my hand -  but I’m unable to bring it to my mouth.

I close my eyes, trying to breathe through a fresh wave of nausea as I let my head drop back against the wall. 

“James! Oi, Jamie!” Freddie’s voice is urgent as he grabs me by my shoulders, shaking me with all the ferocity of a really good friend trying to keep his unsavoury drunk mess of a cousin from slipping into unconsciousness. 

“I’m here.” I force my eyes to open but my head is too heavy to lift. Gravity is pulling on me - smothering me - and all I want to do is to give in and pathetically curl up on the floor until the room stops spinning.

“Remind me again why you did that to yourself?”

I try to focus on Augustus, but he keeps swimming in and out of focus; much like my thoughts, which are scrappy and jumbled and all about Seth. “I should go talk to Woodley.” I peel my back off the wall, just to end up slamming my head against it instead.

“It’s three in the morning, mate.” Freddie has put a hand on my shoulder when I once again try and fail to get to my feet like a confused bird that has crashed into a window. “And you can barely stand. Drink your water, come on.”

“Fucking Merlin, he’s a mess.” I can hear Augustus say in a low voice as I struggle with the water bottle, tipping most of its contents down my chin instead of into my mouth. “Maybe we should get him to Hagrid.”

I shake my head, which is a very bad idea considering everything is already spinning violently around me. “No, I’ll be alright,” I slur, even though it doesn’t feel like I will be at this point, and close my eyes again against my swaying surroundings. “Fuck, why do I feel like shit?”

“Well, you drank half your weight in Fire Whiskey, so…” Someone - I don’t know who - says and I snort, because this is so dumb; all of it. 

I can’t do this. I can’t feel like this every time she looks at me like she knows I’m full of shit. Like all she’s ever going to see in me is a mildly amusing diversion. I’m that guy she drunkenly snogs, not the guy she’d ever smile at like that; like she was smiling at Pennington tonight.  

“I really like her.” I don’t think I meant to say the words out loud, but I can hear them tumble out of my mouth like they’ve been waiting at the tip of my tongue for forever. And though they are slurred and barely intelligible, they are terrifying.

“Yeah, we know.” Freddie sighs and I can feel his hand on my cheek, patting me softly. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”

[littleoddwriter]

Small fic where Sideshow Bob has a transmale friend who finally comes out to him?

Coming Out | Robert "Sideshow Bob" Terwilliger & Trans!Male!Reader (Platonic)

Hi there! Thanks for the request, I hope you like what I've done with it. :')

summary; See above.

notes; Pre-T Trans!Male!Reader; Platonic Relationship; Coming Out; Fluff; Comfort; Short Fic.

For quite a few years, Bob and you have been good friends. You met quite regularly, went to the theatre together, and simply had fun. It was always so easy and comfortable with him. Despite that, you were always at least a little tense to be around him, all because you still had to tell him that you were actually a man, unlike what he knew you as.

Generally, you knew he didn't have a problem with trans people. But you also knew that sometimes it didn't extent to one's close circle. You've had enough people tell you that they didn't see you as the man you said you were, nor did they believe you. And that hurt a lot. It also made you doubt yourself even more.

While you were certain that Bob wouldn't be as cruel as to say any of those things, the possibility that your friendship would take a hit scared you. You didn't want to lose him. Not even a little bit.

Sitting across from him, you were just having your regular Sunday brunch together at his home. Neither of you liked public places for that and he was an excellent cook, so you always did your own little thing at his place instead.

"What's on your mind? You haven't said anything in quite a bit," Robert said, eyeing you with concern.

You didn't realise that you had gotten so lost in your thoughts.

"Um, uh, well," you stammered, debating and fighting with yourself over whether or not you should finally tell him or not. But was it really the right time to do it now? Was it ever going to be the 'right' time? There was no way to know that.

Inhaling sharply, you looked at him. You were absolutely terrified and by the way he looked even more worried now, you guessed that it was very much visible how afraid you were.

"I have to tell you something," you stated slowly. He nodded in acknowledgement. "Well, this isn't easy, but, um, I'm transgender. I was born a girl, as you very well know, but I identify as a man. I- I- Yeah. I'm a man. I know I am. And I needed to finally tell you that because it drives me insane with dysphoria to hear you utter my dead name and all that. I was just so afraid. Still am. So I sucked it up for a long time, y'know?"

For a moment there was silence. It was thick and charged. And it felt like it went on for an eternity.

Then Bob smiled at you and nodded, "Okay. Thank you for telling me. What name did you choose for yourself then?"

"Y/N," you smiled, "Thank you, Bob. I was so worried you'd have a problem after all. I don't know. My anxiety sorta came up with all kinds of possible worst case scenarios."

"That's all right. I understand why. It's difficult to come out to someone. Especially as trans, I can imagine."

"Yeah, totally. Most of the other people I've told so far, um, they didn't take well to it. Let's just keep it at that."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Robert got up from his seat and walked over to you, putting a gentle, friendly hand on your shoulder. "I'm proud of you for not letting them win, though. No one knows you better than yourself. And no one gets to say a thing about your identity other than yourself."

Feeling tears well up, you lowered your head and blinked them away. You didn't want to cry now; even though they were happy tears for the most part.

"Thanks for being my friend," you told him softly.

"Nothing to thank me for, Y/N."

Hearing him say your name, your actual name, made you so happy and euphoric, you couldn't contain your glee. After you practically jumped up from your chair you hugged him tightly.

No matter what your path to self-fulfilment looked like from here, you knew you didn't have to find out by yourself. You had at least one fantastic friend, who walked it with you.

[nataliedanovelist]

GF - Timestuck AU: The Power of Mabel ch.2

While fighting over a time machine so one twin can win a pig or the other can win the heart of a girl, Mabel is left stranded in a snowy forest with no time machine and no brother. Oops.

The BEAUTIFUL art pieces were done by @clownwry and @elishevart ! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! 😭❤️💋

ch.1 - ch.3

~~~~~~~~~~

Ford was way more nervous than he was letting on.

She had long, pretty brown hair, braces over her teeth, sneakers, a skirt, and a sweater that allowed the cold air to pass through it. Her cheeks were slightly chubby with youth and nosy, as well as her nose, due to the freezing weather. Her eyes matched her hair perfectly, and though they were clouded with fear and confusion, Ford swore he could see sparkling behind the clouds, sparkling that made itself well-known when she asked if she could make him a sweater or when she saw his hands.

She had long, pretty brown hair, braces over her teeth, sneakers, a skirt, and a sweater that allowed the cold air to pass through it. Her cheeks were slightly chubby with youth and nosy, as well as her nose, due to the freezing weather. Her eyes matched her hair perfectly, and though they were clouded with fear and confusion, Ford swore he could see sparkling behind the clouds, sparkling that made itself well-known when she asked if she could make him a sweater or when she saw his hands.

Ford would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy Mabel’s company, but she was practically a stranger, and keeping a random girl in his house that was located in the middle of the woods was fishy and Ford couldn’t help but feel like it was illegal. But he couldn’t leave her out in the snow and send her on her way to find her home and family, so he decided to keep her warm or healthy, simply because it was the right thing to do.

But then she said she had no parents to call. Only a brother, who was lost, too. Ford can remember the old rule: If you’re lost, stay where you are until you are found. So he then decided that she could stay here until her brother found her, which should be by morning at the latest.

Still, he felt uneasy, so once Mabel was settled in front of the TV, Ford excused himself and went into the kitchen to make a phone call. There was only one man who would have better judgement in this situation than him.

The phone rang a few times. Ford checked his watch to make sure it was a reasonable time to call. It wasn’t Sunday, was it? But then the ringing stopped. “Howdy! This here Fiddleford McGucket.”

“Hey there, buddy.” Ford smiled to himself at hearing that cheerful voice. “How have you been?”

“Stanford Pines! Good t’hear from ya!” Fiddleford cheered. “M’just fine, just fine! How are ya?! Ya haven’t gotten eaten by monsters yet, have ya?” He laughed, making his old friend chuckle along.

“No no, I’m alright.” Ford almost brought up the reason he called, but then he remembered something very important to Fiddleford. “How are Emma-May and Tater?”

“OH! They’re doin’ great! We’re all very happy n’ doin’ well! Ya won’t believe how big Tate’s gotten since ya last saw him! He’s already crawlin’!”

“Wow, that's great to hear.” Ford sat in a chair at the kitchen table. “Has he said his first words yet?”

“No, not quite. Actually, he’s extremely quiet. Not a lot of baby-babble.” Fiddleford chuckled. “The doctor says that’s perfectly normal. Tate’s so smart, he’s reachin’ for specific colors n’ such, n’ ya can tell he’s thinkin’ a lot n’ knows what’s goin’ on, he just got nothin’ t’say.”

“I was very shy when I was young.” Ford commented casually. He didn't feel like mentioning why. “If Tate is anything like either of his parents he’s very intelligent.”

“Oh, he’s so much like both of us it’s scary. Ya know Emma-May, so clever n’ quiet n’ such. Tate’s got all that. But he already looks so much like me! But he’s got his mama’s hair! N’ Santy Claus brought ‘im this fun little fishin’ game where ya fish for plastic fish with a pole with a magnet on it, n’ he loves it! I can’t wait to take ‘im fishin’ when he’s big enough! Ya really outta give yourself a break n’ come down for a visit, he’d move to see his Uncle Ford again.”

Ford’s face felt hot. “Perhaps. Spring is when a lot of anomalies are active and breeding, so i would prefer not to miss that, but maybe I could visit for a weekend before that…”

“Well, no pressure, I won’t assume anythang until ya tell me to, just know there’s always a bed for ya here.”

“Thank you, Fiddleford. The same for you and your family. The clean air will do everyone some good.”

“Oh, I’m sure.” Fiddleford sighed happily and perked up. “So! Whatcha callin’ for? Not that I’m not happy just t’chat, but ya never call.”

Ford laughed and shrugged to himself. “I suppose I don’t. I’m sorry.”

“No need t’be sorry, Stanford, just wanna know what’s up.”

“Well, I was hoping to get your advice on something.”

“Shoot.”

“Um… well…” Ford rubbed the back of his neck, unsure how to tell him this. “I heard some unusual sounds outside today…”

“What kind of unusual sounds?”

“Cracks, like lightning. And some faint yelling.” Ford answered. “I thought it might be a tree branch or a new anomaly to catalogue, but when I opened the door a young girl was standing there in the snow with no coat.”

“Heavens! Is she alright?!”

“She’s okay, no frostbite. She was cold, but after sitting by the fire, drinking some hot chocolate, and changing into some dry clothes, she’s okay now.”

“Well, good.”

“So of course I brought her in. I tried to call her parents, she probably got lost playing…”

“Sure.”

“... but she says she doesn’t have any parents.”

“Oh.” Fiddleford sighed. “Oh. Now, wait, are ya sure she didn’t just say that so ya wouldn’t call?”

Ford chuckled and said, “I first thought that too, but she looked too sad to be lying.”

“Okay, I see. Does she got somebody ya can call?”

“She says she has a brother, but he was out there, too. So he is probably out there looking for her and therefore nowhere near a phone.”

“Fair enough, okay. So, I reckon y’all are waitin’ for him t’come ‘round.”

“Yup.”

“Well sounds to me like you’ve handled this all pretty well.” Fiddleford said confidently.

“You think so?” Ford asked. “I can’t help but feel like I’m doing something wrong. Like I’m missing something. Am I doing something wrong?”

“Nonsense, buddy, you’re doin’ great.” Fiddleford assured. “Look here, ya can’t just leave a young gurl out in the snow t’try t’find her way home...”

“I agree.”

“... so ya really got one option n’ that’s t’keep an eye on her n’ let her in as a guest. N’ ya tried t’call, but nothin’. The best thang ya can do right now is be there for this lil’lady n’ just be kind t’her. N’ if nobody comes for her by mornin’, why don’t ya go into town n’ see if anybody knows her, then they can help y’all out.”

Ford nodded, then remembered that his best friend couldn’t see it, so he said, “Yeah, that sounds like a good plan. Thank you, Fiddleford.”

“You’re welcome. N’ hey, are ya okay?” He asked seriously.

“Yes, yes I’m okay. I just want to make sure I do this right.”

“O’course. I understand. Ya want me t’come down there n’ give a hand?”

“No, that’s not necessary. I’m sure Mabel will find her brother in the morning.”

“Mabel, huh? Well, if y’all don’t, please call me. N’ even if ya do find her brother, call me. Keep me updated.”

“I will. Thank you, Fiddleford.”

“Anytime, Stanford.”

~~~~~~~~~~

When Mr. Ford gave Mabel the remote for the old TV and went into the kitchen, she decided to use her awesome detective skills to figure out what year it was. If it was before Grunkle Stan lived here and opened the Mystery Shack, she must be pretty far back in time. But she had no way of knowing if it was 1999 or 2005 or the 50s.

The TV was old, but so was Grunkle Stan’s in her time. So Mr. Ford could have had this TV for a long time and didn’t want to replace it. 

Okay, so when was the TV made? Mabel didn’t know. Dipper would have known.

Okay, Grunkle Stan mentioned watching TV when he was a kid once or twice. So at least Mabel was when Stan was a kid, okay. 

Mabel turned the TV on and it was in color. Okay, so she wasn’t too far back in time. But the TV was playing a commercial for clear skin. The picture was gritty and all the people in it had puffy hair and long socks and oh my god was that woman wearing legwarmers?! Mabel grinned at seeing her favorite fashion on TV, but then her face dropped. When was she?

She tapped her chin and tried to think of how to know the date without being suspicious. She could ask Mr. Ford, but that might be suspicious. Mabel decided to start flicking through channels to try to guess what year she was in based on what was airing. A lot of shows were about cowboys, space, or game shows. Huh. Okay.

All the TV shows were definitely older. Nothing her dad would watch from when he was a kid, so if Mabel had to guess by everyone’s crazy air, the cheesy TV shows, and the music occasionally playing, she was in the 70s.

Huh. Okay. But she needed an exact year. So Mabel turned off the TV, saw an old radio on a desk, and turned it on to listen.

“... cuz it’s cold doesn’t mean you can't boogie, folks! So grab someone you wanna get warm with, turn up the music, and get your bodies warm in the coolest way possible! Here’s Night Fever, by the Bee Gees!”

Mabel grinned at the disco music. Her personal favorite song from these guys was More Than a Woman, but Night Fever would do. For a moment Mabel forgot her mission, jumped off the couch and left the blanket behind, and in the over-sized gray t-shirt Mr. Ford gave her while her clothes were drying, she danced along to the music, singing the chorus since those were the only words she knew.

“When you reach out for me. Yeah, and the feelin' is right,

Then I get night fever, night fever. We know how to do it! Gimme that night fever, night fever. We know how to show it!”

Mabel laughed at herself as she spun around in her socks and tried to do the point-and-hype dance she didn’t know the name to, but everyone did it when a disco song played.

Little did she know that Ford had returned to check on her, and was smiling at her as she shook her hips and waved her hair around and had fun. He leaned against the doorway and planned to let her dance in peace, but when she did a spin and saw him, she grinned and took his hand. “C’mon, Mr. Ford, come dance with me!”

Ford chuckled and shook his head. “No, no! I can’t dance!”

“You got two legs that aren’t broken?”

“Yes.”

“Then you can dance! C’mon!” Mabel encouraged, let him go when they were both in the middle of the room, and she started to dance again. “Don’t make me dance alone!” She even pulled an evil move and gave him puppy eyes. Rude.

Ford smiled slyly at her and hesitantly copied her boogie moves. It was true that Ford never liked to dance, but there was no one around but Mabel, and though he had only known her for an hour or more, he was sure she would never make fun of him.

And he was right.

“Wow! Look at you, Mr. I-Can’t-Dance! Yeah!” Mabel hopped on the couch, standing, and took Ford’s hand. “Here, I’ll spin you!”

Ford laughed and allowed it, doing a single spin, but then scooping her in his arms to dip her and then let her down, making her laugh as they continued to dance. 

“Alright alright, you crazy cats, that was Night Fever by the Bee Gees! It's a snowy day here in the heart of Oregon, with snow flurries coming in harder all night, but it should clear up by morning and be a fun day to go out and play! The date is January 26th, 1978 in case you gotta write a check or mail a thank you note to a friend or family member. I’m still writing letters for Christmas! We’ll be right back with some of your favorites after a word or two from our sponsors, so don’t go anywhere!”

Mabel stared at the radio. “Wow, 1978.” She breathed. Her parents were only kids right now, maybe only six or seven-years-old. Wow.

Ford chuckled. “I know, I’m still in the bad habit of writing ‘77.”

Mabel realized her mistake, but was grateful her host misunderstood her. “Me too.”

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for dinner. How about some ramen noodles?”

“Yes, please! Can we play a game after we eat?”

“Sure. I don’t have many board games, but I do have a deck of cards.”

“Do you know any card tricks?!”

“A few.” Ford admitted, wiggling his fingers. “There are some advantages to having more fingers than average.”

Mabel grinned up at him and followed him to the kitchen for dinner.

[sirthisisa-wendys]

Rules: Geto Suguru x Fem!Reader

synopsis: You two have one rule when it comes to your hookups: don't fall in love. So what happens when one of you breaks that rule? (based on a anon request that Tumblr ATE UP)

wc: 1.8k

tw: NSFW

masterlist

You're riding him as fast as you can, hands cupping your breasts and tweaking your nipples.

"God, this feels so damn good," Suguru hisses beneath you, eyes holding yours captive. His hand moves away from your left breast, sliding down your stomach and resting on your clit.

"Mmm... Su..." you breathe, your hands pressed on either side of him as your hips slam into his. "That's perfect."

Panting, sweating messes. That's what you're both reduced to every Friday evening when he comes through your door and fucks you until you can't walk. And he leaves before sun-up, just as you ask, placing the spare key beneath the mat at the door after he locks up behind himself.

"You gonna cum soon?" Suguru wonders, but not because he wants to rush you. No, you look down in those onyx eyes and see his desire to withhold himself from cumming for just a little bit longer. He wants to feel your walls rock against his length for as long as he can before giving himself up to you. Suguru loves it when you spasm around his cock - and loves it when you squirt even more - but every single time, he cums right after you. It's not because he's weak; no, that's never been the case.

Your pleasure means so much to him. And when he delivers you the best, toe-curling orgasm of the week, you can't help but let yourself indulge in the sensations and ride it out as well.

But the first caveat to your little arrangement was Rule #1: that neither of you could fall in love. The moment one of you catches feelings, it's over. And you were starting to see that it could very well be Suguru that catches feelings, just like all of the ones who came before him.

The only difference between them and this black-haired devil beneath you was that he'd not only lasted a full six months, but he was the only one that could truly satisfy you. You never felt like Suguru used you as a fuck toy or masturbated into your body just for the feeling of a warm cunt surrounding his twitching cock. Your pleasure meant something to him, even if he left before daylight.

Those are your rules, however.

Soft lips bring you back to the present, and a gentle scrape of the teeth against the flesh of your breast makes you moan loudly.

"Suguru, I--"

"Hush, y/n," he mutters, tongue darting out to flick your nipple. "I'm not done with you yet."

Rule #2: no pet names. And he'd stuck to it, only calling you by your name as he fucked you into the couch, or moaned your name as you came around his length.

"Fuck..." you breathe as he sucks on your breasts over and over again, switching between the two at his leisure. And still, he's bouncing you on his dick, making you shudder.

Rule #3: Condoms. Every. Single. Time. And Suguru never came empty-handed.

You'd gotten rid of men the first time they came over without a condom and blamed it on their brain, even though you kept a stash hidden in the bottom cabinet of the bathroom. Those were reserved for hookups with men who weren't on your schedule or for when you used your strap-on; not for "forgetful" people.

"Oh, shit," you breathe. "I think I'm going to cum..." Suguru nods, pressing you against his chest and speeding up his strokes.

God damn, he's intuitive, you think as he brings you to the edge and tips you over like only he can. When you shudder and whimper in his ear, Suguru grunts softly, hips stuttering as he cums right behind you. It's always been like this, you muse, kissing the man deeply and with feeling. It's never going to change.

_____________________________________________________________

Change comes when you first step into the high-end department store, and you spot a silk gold and black tie hanging on a display.

"Suguru would like that," you think aloud, imaging him tying it on just like he takes them off before wrapping them around your h-- You smack your cheek, waking yourself up from the semi-lewd fantasy. You forget all about the occurrence until you pass by the cologne department, and catch a whiff of a familiar scent.

"Miss," you ask, stopping in front of an associate. "What's that scent?" When the lady rattles off some famous cologne brand, you inhale the fresh scent again, suddenly transported to the time you buried your face in Suguru's neck and smelled his hair for the first time. "Thank you," you quickly mutter, and walk away from the counter as fast as you can. Your hands begin to shake as you place the shoes you just bought on, looking at them in the store mirror right as the words 'maybe I should ask Suguru how they look' rolls through your mind.

Your assigned stylist gives you a frightened glance as you growl and take the shoes off, stuffing them back into the box in her hands as you hiss, "I'll take them."

What the hell is happening to me? you wonder as you drive home impatiently, honking at every person who minorly inconveniences you as you speed down the highway. It's not even Friday, but thrice you've thought about asking Suguru to come over and spend time with you. Three times!

You drop your keys onto the counter and sit on your couch, burying your hands in your face as you think, think, think...

Cancel with Ryoma. Cancel with Aizen. Cancel, cancel, cancel...

You shoot off various text messages in a short amount of time, cutting the other five men out of the schedule. You can find others to fit into Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday if you need to. You just need it to be Friday and fast.

"Hello?" the soft voice murmurs when you dial - picked up on the second ring.

"Hey," you whisper nervously. "Um, Monday canceled and I'm feeling a little stressed. Are you free tonight?" Some papers shift around in the background, and you bite your lip as you wait for an answer. It seems like forever until you hear:

"Yeah, let me finish up at the office. I'll be there around seven, alright?"

"Alright." You hang up just as a rush of adrenaline pumps through you, making you shower and dress with vigor. You even put on the new shoes and a nice set of lingerie to match. All for Suguru. You tie a robe over yourself and sit at your computer - it's six-fifteen - to do some work as a distraction. And it proves fruitful because when the doorbell rings, it's seven o'clock.

You straighten your robe and walk to the door, fixing your hair before opening it up and grinning at Suguru, who is still dressed in his slacks and a button-down shirt. The top button is open slightly and his sleeves are bunched up around his elbows, but he offers you his sweet smile as well, stepping into the house with ease.

"You look really nice. Are those new shoes?" he asks, tossing his jacket over the back of the couch and turning back to you.

"Why yes, they are," you sing, walking toward him slowly, leisurely. "Do you like them?"

"Do you care?" Suguru wonders, cupping your chin and kissing your lips gently. "I'm going to take them off of you in a second anyways."

"You have all night to think about that," you tease, tugging him toward your bedroom. "But I'd prefer you let me wear them while you fuck me." Suguru lets out a surprised chuckle, following you into the room and shutting the door behind him.

But even after he's fucked you senseless, you can't sleep. Your earlier thoughts haunt you and a twinge of guilt eats at your brain as you lay against a sleeping Su, head resting on his chest as he holds you close. Even when you see the clock hours change from ten to eleven, to twelve to three am, you can't help but dread the moment when he would awake and leave you alone in the bedroom.

And when six o'clock comes, his watch buzzes on the nightstand, shaking him from his hazy sleep.

Your fingers curl into his side, and Suguru groans, rubbing his eyes.

"You awake?" he whispers into the darkness, but you don't reply, hoping he would just lay there for a few minutes more. "Y/n? Your heart is beating a mile a minute."

"So?"

"So..." He shifts up, petting your hair gently. "I think we need to talk." Your heart plummets into your stomach, and you try not to react sharply, but Suguru clears his throat as he turns on the bedside lamp. You look up into his black eyes, and he blinks in the light, biting his bottom lip at the sight of you fully awake. "Why did you call me over here and not anyone else?" You fumble for an answer, but thinking of a lie just wouldn't do. Not for Suguru. "Aren't you breaking your rule?"

"No," you counter, sitting up straight. "I'm not falling in love with you. Your dick, maybe. But not you." The look in his eyes tells you that he knows you're lying. You hang your head, fighting back an apology.

"We should call this off if that's the case."

"No," you whisper, shaking your head. "I don't want that."

"I don't want that either," Suguru murmurs, tilting your chin up with his fingers. "But what happens if you go back to..." You sigh, looking away. "I'm a jealous lover, y/n. I'm not the kind to play around with."

"And I won't," you reply, head snapping back to meet his eyes. "I..." you exhale shakily. "I couldn't stop thinking about you when I was at Bergdorf's." The admission doesn't shock Suguru, but he does clasp his hands together. "Everything reminded me of you, and I--" You break off, hands shaking. "I'm scared."

"Have you discussed this with anyone else?" The question implies the obvious, and you look to your phone, opening it up and letting him see the contacts "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, Sunday" all with the same message:

Sorry, I have to cancel our weekly rendevous. Hope you understand.

"Am I saved as Friday?" Suguru chuckles, but you scroll down a little more, and his name pops up: Suguru Geto.

He huffs a laugh, shaking his head.

"I'm the special one, huh?" You turn his head toward you, leaning in to kiss him on the lips once.

"Please, let me break my rules for you." Suguru groans, leaning into your touch and kissing your palm in response.

"Let me start right now then, babe. And don't worry, we'll take it one rule at a time." You giggle as he tosses your phone aside and leans into you, kissing you just like he did before and switching off the light as daybreak comes.

_____________________________________________________________

TAGLIST: @missbonekitty @wack0-genius @thankuary @r-i-m-f-009 @sunfloweroranges @leanne-tamashi @rein-icu @brownskinnedgirll @savantsoulfinder @chilledlucifer @kontentious @flare-on @meena-in-a-nutshell @falling-through-pages @naoyasdarling @vabybizzle

[watchmegetobsessed]

TO LOVE AND BE LOVED - Part Four (Harry Styles)

a/n: happy TLABL day!! can’t believe we are already on part 4! im not sure if part 5 will be the last part, im still very much writing the rest so we’ll see! thank you so much for all the love you’ve been showing the series, i love reading your reactions! feedback is very much appreciated this time as well!

pairing: CEO!Dad!Harry X Reader

warning: mentions of death, cheating and divorce

word count: 11k

SERIES MASTERPOST masterlist

You wake up feeling like you’ve been hit by a truck or at least consumed a whole bottle of tequila. Your head is pounding and it’s probably with all the crying and stress, so you are quick to take some pills to ease the pain. Sitting on the edge of your bed you stare ahead of you blankly, trying to gain power to start the day.

Though today is Sunday, so you are not working, you’re still worried to face Harry after whatever it was that happened last night. What were you thinking, kissing your boss out of the blue? And what was he thinking kissing you for the second time? It kind of feels like a dream, but you know it really did happen.

You try to stay in your room as long as possible, avoiding to face Harry, but soon enough you can’t postpone it any longer, because you are starving. Peeking out of your room you hear voices coming from downstairs and as you reach the stairs you recognize not just Harry’s and Izzy’s voice, but Niall’s as well.

Arriving downstairs you see Niall and Izzy sitting on the stools at the kitchen island while Harry is cleaning the dishes after their breakfast probably. He is wearing a pair of light-washed jeans and a black hoodie, the sleeves bunched around his elbows. He looks so casual and yet just looking at him makes your heart skip a beat. You are in some big trouble.

Niall spots you first and he perks up waving in your way happily.

“Good morning, Y/N!” he beams, his accent sounds so comforting in such a stressful moment, for some reason.

“Hi, good morning,” you breathe out. Harry turns around, his eyes fall on you and a shiver runs down your spine. He just looked at you and you already want to run away and hide in your room a little longer.

“Morning,” he greets you with a nod before turning back to the sink to finish the dishes.

“Daddy and Uncle Niall are taking me to the park! We are picking Yara up too!” Izzy shares the news with you excitedly.

“Oh, that sounds great!” you smile at her, giving her cheek a gentle pinch before moving to the fridge.

“Do you want to come?” she invites you and your eyes immediately flicker over to Harry who looks at you the exact same time, making your stomach drop right away.

“Um, I have some work to do, maybe some other time,” you smile at Izzy, grabbing yourself a yoghurt and a banana before shutting the fridge closed.

“So how was yesterday?” Niall asks and you freeze. Does he know what happened? Did Harry tell him about last night?

Niall sees your frightened look to which he shoots you a confused one.

“The wedding, Harry told me earlier you had a wedding yesterday.”

“Oh, it went… fine,” you nod shortly, peeking at Harry who is now staring down at his feet awkwardly. This was starting to get painfully ridiculous, the two of you dancing around each other, pretending like you weren’t down each other’s throats just a few hours prior.

“Alright, let’s leave, we need to pick Yara up in twenty,” Harry claps his hands. Izzy jumps off the stool and takes Niall’s hand as they all head out of the house. “We’ll probably have lunch somewhere and then go grocery shopping, so we’ll be away for a while,” he informs you without looking your way before leaving without even waiting for any reaction from you.

Yeah, this was straight up the most awkward conversation you’ve had in a long time.

“Here, Izzy. Play some games on my phone!” Niall passes his phone to her with a sweet smile, but Harry smacks his bicep.

“What are you doing? She has enough screen time already!”

“Yeah, but I needed her to be busy so I can ask you what the fuck was that in the house.”

Harry curls his lips into his mouth, his eyes glued to the road ahead of him as he tries to come up with a good answer, but he knows he could never fool his best friend.

“Don’t stop, even if she is busy with the phone,” Harry scolds him, glancing at Izzy through the mirror, but she doesn’t seem to be listening to them. Niall rolls his eyes, but lets his words uncommented. “Besides, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” “Oh, you exactly know it. You and Y/N were like scared little bunnies around each other. She looked like she was about to faint any moment when you looked at her.”

“Maybe she was just tired,” he shrugs, but Niall laughs at his weak attempt to fool him.

“Now tell me the real reason, I know something happened.”

Harry chews on his bottom lip, debating whether he should come clean or not, but he knows Niall won’t leave him until he finally tells him so he is not left with many choices.

“We kissed.”

“What?!” Niall snaps, a little louder than Harry expected, his voice makes him flinch. “Sorry, that was a little too dramatic, but what the fuck? Why were you keeping this from me?!”

“Because I knew this is how you’d react,” Harry mumbles under his breath. “And… I don’t think it will ever happen again.”

“What do you mean?”

“The whole thing was a mess,” Harry sighs. “She came home late, pretty upset because she met with her ex at the wedding.”

“The one that cheated on her?”

“Mhm. The dude was an asshole and… she was crying in the kitchen when I came down. We sat on the couch, talked, I tried to calm her down and all that and then… she kissed me.”

“Wait, she kissed you? Wow, she’s got balls!” Niall laughs.

“Yeah, but it was, like, really short and she pulled back, shocked at herself for doing it. I think it was just all the emotions that got her a little confused. But then she tried to apologize and… and I kissed her.”

“What?! Oh my God!” Niall’s mind is blown and he doesn’t even tries to hide his excitement hearing the news about last night. “Was there tongue?”

“Jesus, Niall!” Harry scowls. “I’m not sharing the details with you.”

“Okay, but was it like a solid, short kiss or you guys went right at it?”

Harry doesn’t answer, but it tells enough about the situation and Niall can’t help but whistle as he claps his hands.

“Stop acting like a horny teenager, Niall,” Harry growls rolling his eyes at his friend.

“So you guys snogged, what’s the matter with that?”

“It got awkward. We just pulled back and I think we both were pretty shocked about it and… she just stood up and said that she is going to bed. End of story. And then you were there in the morning, so… yeah.”

“Tell me why the hell we are heading to a playdate then when you should be talking to her?” Niall asks, arching an eyebrow at Harry.

“There’s not much to talk about. It just happened in the heat of the moment, that’s all,” Harry shrugs, but deep down he knows it’s a blatant lie. At least on his side.

Unlike you, who fell asleep right away, Harry spent about an hour lying in his bed wide awake, not able to think about anything else but your lips on his. He replayed the whole thing in his head about a million times, he was starting to feel ashamed of it, but he just couldn’t stop.

Your abrupt leaving left him puzzled and he thought long and hard about why you felt the need to run away. The only thing that made sense to him is that you regretted it the moment it happened, that it really did just happen in the heat of the moment so Harry thought it’s best to act like it didn’t even happen.

“Please don’t be an ass and just… talk to her. We both know we can never know for sure what a woman thinks about. You can’t just assume and think that your assumption is one hundred percent right.”

“I find it funny that you’re such an expert in this stuff, but you haven’t had a stable relationship since like, we finished college,” Harry scoffs as he takes the corner and starts driving down the street to Yara’s moms’ house.

“Me not having a relationship doesn’t mean that I’m not good at them. It’s a choice,” Niall smirks.

“Yeah, whatever.”

“But back to the topic, you wanted to kiss her, right?”

“I mean, yeah? It kinda threw me off as well, but it was… nice.”

“Please don’t refer to a kiss as nice again,” Niall gags, but Harry just chuckles at him. “A kiss is hot, passionate, pant tighteni—“

“Okay, that’s enough!” Harry cuts him, earning a cackle from him.

“Just talk to her, don’t be a pussy.”

“I really do need better friends,” Harry mumbles under his breath as he pulls up to the driveway.

You really didn’t feel like staying home alone in that big ass house so you invited yourself over for an early dinner to your mom’s. You haven’t been over since the little fiasco with Trevor so you thought it might be a good idea to spend some time with them. Trevor said they’ve been trying to keep the fighting down to the minimum and not let it turn into a screaming match, so your speech worked after all.

It’s past three o’clock when you leave, no sign of Harry or Izzy and you feel like they won’t be back for a while either, so you lock everything up and head out.

You have a genuinely good time. It’s obvious that your mom feels guilty about her past behavior and is trying to lure you into forgiving her, though you already did that. But you’re happy your little speech worked. At least Trevor can have his peace now.

After dinner your mom disappears in her room and then returns with a nicely wrapped box and you sigh, rolling your eyes.

“Mom, I told you I don’t need gifts.” You give her a look. Your birthday is coming up next week, but you were never the kind to celebrate. You never felt comfortable with all the attention and fuss birthdays come with, so you’ve always liked to keep it down. These past years you didn’t even ask for anything, though your parents never listened and this year doesn’t seem like an exception either.

“Oh hush. You can’t expect me not to celebrate my baby!” she shakes her head, sitting back to the dining table. “And besides, I didn’t pay a dollar for it,” she then adds and now you’re curious what she got you.

Removing the lid of the box you peek inside and your lips immediately part as you see the stack of polaroids inside.

“I know how much you like old photos and when we sold Grandma’s house back in August, I found these in my old room. I got a polaroid camera for graduation, just in time to take tons of pictures of you,” she explains with a soft chuckle as you start going through the pictures from when you were born and the next few years. Whenever you are done looking at a photo you hand it to Trevor so he can take a look at them too.

“Are you sure you don’t want to keep these, mom?” you ask glancing up at her over the stack.

“I took out a few for myself,” she admits with a sneaky smile. “You can have the rest, I know how much you love these stuff.”

“Thank you, mom,” you smile at her, hugging her from the side, feeling touched by this gift.

It’s nearing eight when you arrive back home, the lights are still up and if you had to guess you’d say that Harry is trying to tire Izzy out enough to put to bed, as usual. Walking in, your guess is proven right, the TV is on in the living room while Harry is sitting on the couch, Izzy all over him in her pink pajamas, playing around with his hair like she always does.

“Hi Y/N!” she calls out happily when she spots you.

“Hi Sunshine, did you have a good time today?” you ask with a soft smile.

“I did! And guess what!”

“What?”

“Yara invited me over for a sleepover!” she beams, clearly ecstatic about the invitation.

“That’s amazing!”

“What’s that?” she curiously asks pointing at the gift box in your hands. Harry turns to see you, his eyes falling on the box as well.

“Oh, it’s a gift I got from my mom,” you explain, stepping closer.

“Is it your birthday?” she questions, knitting her eyebrows together.

“No, not yet. But it will be next week,” you admit with a soft chuckle.

“Really? Are you having a birthday party?” she gasps, getting way too excited already. Harry eyes you without a word, holding Izzy by her hips so she is not losing her balance standing on the cushion of the couch.

“I’m not, sorry. I don’t like having birthday parties,” you pout at her apologetically.

“Oh, okay. Can I see what you got from your mom?”

“Izzy, don’t be nosy,” Harry warns her, but you just smile at the curious girl.

“Sure,” you nod, joining them on the couch. You sit on the opposite end than where Harry is, Izzy in the middle as she watches the box in awe. You set it down to the cushion and take the lid off, revealing the stack of photos.

“What are these?”

“They are called polaroids. They are old pictures, taken with a special camera that kind of prints the picture out right away,” you explain to her as she takes the first photo from the top, a picture of your mom holding you as a newborn. She was so young, practically a child herself, yet her pride was undeniable, it shone all over her face.  You spot Harry looking at the picture as well over Izzy’s shoulder, still keeping his silence.

“Who are these people?”

“That’s my mom and that’s me as a baby. And… this is my dad,” you hold up another photo that features your dad.

“They really were young when they had you,” Harry speaks up for the first time, surprised by the photos.

“Yeah, they were.”

“What are you going to do with them?” Izzy questions, dropping the photo back into the box as she leans back to lie on Harry’s chest.

“Not sure yet. I might make an album from them,” you shrug. “I really like polaroids, I love that they are one of a kind.”

Izzy nods, though you’re not sure she understood what you meant by that. Fidgeting with her fingers she pushes down a yawn and Harry takes that as a good sign.

“Alright, time for bed, Love. Say good night to Y/N.” He picks her up as he stands from the couch. Izzy waves at you smiling with tired eyes.

“Night-night, Y/N,” she singsongs as Harry carries her towards the stairs.

Putting the pictures back into the box you head into your bedroom too, feeling like the time when you and Harry talk about what happened yesterday will never come. It’s pretty clear that he doesn’t want to acknowledge it, so you’ll just let it slip. It happened just in the heat of the moment, didn’t mean a thing, you better forget about it.

After a speedy shower you are getting ready to just go to bed, read some and have a relaxing evening, something you didn’t have the luck to have the day before. But right as you’re about to make yourself comfortable in bed, there’s a knock on your door.

“Hey,” you breathe out as you open it and find Harry standing in the hallway.

“I hope you weren’t sleeping already.”

“No. Come on in,” you invite him inside and he walks in. As he awkwardly stops in the middle of the room you realize he hasn’t even been in here since you’ve moved in. He takes a look around, examining what you’ve done with the room and you feel thankful you decided to put your laundry away just yesterday, so no dirty underwear is littering the floor anywhere.

“How can I help you?” you ask with a soft smile.

“I, erm… I just wanted to clear some things,” he starts, clearly feeling nervous about the conversation and that makes the two of you for sure. Nodding you let him know that you’re waiting for him to carry on. “What happened yesterday…” he starts and your breath gets caught in your throat. “You were very emotional, a lot happened and it was a very confusing moment probably for the both of us. I really like working with you, I’m very happy with the way you’ve been taking care of Izzy and I would hate to ruin it with anything.”

You can feel your stomach dropping even though you were bracing yourself for this version of the situation. It was very likely that Harry would want to keep things professional, like before, but it still makes you feel like shit.

“I’m sorry for stepping over some boundaries, but I really hope that… we can put it behind us and that we can move on.”

He is using his business tone. It’s the same tone he used with Sarah and his assistants and now he is using it to talk about the kiss that happened between the two of you.

“Sure,” you answer quietly nodding. “Moving on sounds… great,” you nod, forcing a smile to your face, but it couldn’t be more fake.

Harry nods as he runs his tongue over his lips, looking around a little awkwardly now that it’s been discussed.

“Alright, then… good night, Y/N,” he nods in your way before heading towards the door.

“Good night, Harry,” you mumble after him as he walks out and closes the door behind him.

As soon as you are on your own, you let out a shaky breath, falling to your bed, lips trembling as you try to even make out what you’re feeling. Because part of you is glad he didn’t make a fuss about it and you didn’t lose your job, that’s great news. But another part, which is vehemently bigger than the first one is upset and sad and… disappointed?

You were hoping it meant something for him, you wanted him to want it, to feel the same craving for you as you feel towards him, because you haven’t really stopped thinking about what his lips felt like against yours, what it was like when his fingers dug into your thigh, how it sent a shiver down your spine when his tongue met yours.

But this conversation just made it awfully clear that he wants nothing to do with you. And it hurts probably more than it should.

 Harry doesn’t get too far from your door when he feels the all too familiar pain in his chest he has been forced to live with these past over three years. It’s like something is gripping his heart and lungs in his chest so tight, even breathing is a hard task.

Rushing into his bedroom he closes the door behind him and slides down to the floor as the tears flood from his eyes. The past twenty-four hours have been rough on him, the guilt has been growing immensely since he let himself slip and give in for his desires and eventually kiss you.

It’s not that he didn’t want it. Because he’d be lying if he said it meant nothing to him and that he hasn’t been craving it these past weeks.

But his guilt, this evil little voice in the back of his head wouldn’t let him enjoy it even the slightest.

How dare you kiss another woman after your wife? Are you insane? You don’t deserve to feel this way with anyone else. Not when you were the reason your wife ended up dead!

Heartbreaking sobs escape from his chest as he pushes himself up from the floor and heads into the bathroom. He strips out of his clothes leaving them all in a pile on the marble tiled floor before he steps into the shower and lets the hot water pour down on him, almost burning his skin, but he doesn’t change the temperature, as if he was trying to punish himself. His salty tears mix with the water as he stands still, chest heaving as his vivid memories from that night come crashing down on him all at once.

“Are you giving me the silent treatment now? Really?” Harry sighed at his wife when she failed to answer his question about the whereabouts of his sweatpants. Maggie sat on the bed with the recent maternity book she’d been reading these past days, not even paying her husband a look at his question.

“Mags, for fuck’s sake, I’m not in the mood to play this game right now,” Harry sighed in defeat. Maggie looked up at him, closed the book slowly and put it aside to the bedside table.

“So the question of expanding our family is just a game to you?” she asked calmly, but her anger and disappointment in her husband was soaking through her tone.

“You know that’s not what I’m talking about.”

“No, you are not talking about anything, because you refuse to have a fucking conversation with me!” she retorted, letting all her bottled up anger out that’d been boiling inside her.

“I already told you that I can’t think about having another baby right now. Izzy is only six, I’m in the middle of a huge project, I don’t have the capacity to think about having another baby, Maggie. I thought I made it clear, why are you still onto me then?”

“Because it’s not something we can put aside for too long! I don’t want to have another baby when I’m in my mid-thirties, but if we go with your plan, we won’t even have another one!” Maggie jumped to her feet, pacing the floor back and forth next to their bed as Harry stood with his hands on his hips, getting irritated that they were fighting over the same thing again.

“I never said we can’t have another baby, but why can’t we wait a little? When Izzy is older and more independent? Do you have any idea how hard it is to take care of a baby and a toddler? It’s a fucking nightmare!” Harry growled rolling his eyes.

“So our family is just a pain in the ass for you?” Maggie questioned, folding her arms on her chest and she was really getting on Harry’s nerves, twisting his words completely.

“That’s not what I said!” he snapped. “All I’m asking for is you to be a little patient and give me some time!”

“I don’t have time, Harry! I want it as soon as possible!”

“Why are you so fucking difficult?” Harry groaned, running his hands through his hair. “Why can’t you wait just… one year at least? Is that too much to ask?”

“And is it too much to ask to focus on your family? We are supposed to come first!” she turned it back around and Harry was not having the dirty games she was playing, putting all the blame on him when she could have been a little more understanding as well. He was feeling like his opinion was put aside and didn’t matter at all.

“You do come first, you don’t have the right to question that.” Harry pointed at Maggie, his blood practically boiling at this point.

“Then why do I feel like work is always more important to you?”

“What are you talking about? You know I’m home as much as I can, but we still need the fucking money, Maggie! Or how do you plan on paying the bills of this fucking mansion?!”

“I don’t need a mansion! I just need my family and that’s all!” she argued, but Harry rolled his eyes at her.

“Well you seem to enjoy this mansion a lot when you sit by the pool and watch movies in the fucking movie theater in your own home!” he snapped back feistily. “Stop acting like I don’t do shit for our family when I work my ass off to provide the best possible life. And all I’m asking for in return is some fucking time before we bring another baby into the picture!”

“You are so fucking unbelievable,” Maggie shook her head as she marched past him, walking away from the fight that just grinded his gears even more.

Just as Harry was about to go after her, he heard the faint crying through the baby monitor. Groaning he headed into Izzy’s room and as he took her out of her crib, he heard the front door open and shut.

“Aw, baby, I’m sorry, did we wake you up?” he cooed, hugging the crying little girl to his chest who clung onto him immediately. Even at such a young age, Izzy was already a daddy’s little girl.

Soon her cries died down to just little hiccups as Harry soothed her, patting her bum and back gently as he moved around the room. Holding Izzy in one arm he grabbed his phone with his free hand and typed a message to his wife.

Harry: Where did you go?!

Maggie: I’m going over to my sister’s. Don’t wait up, might get home late.

Harry couldn’t help but roll his eyes. She called him out for running away from the conversation, but when they were finally talking about it she just decided to disappear when it didn’t head in the direction she wanted, seeking comfort at her sister, as always.

He managed to lull Izzy back to sleep, putting her back to her crib before going back to the bedroom. As time passed by and he calmed down more and more he wished Maggie was home so they could talk about it without jumping at each other’s throat. There had to be a compromising way to solve the situation that would be fine for the both of them.

Harry: Please come home and let’s talk about it.

Maggie: So you can bite my head off again?!

Harry: Mags, please. You have to understand my point of view too!

Maggie: I understand it, but I don’t agree with it. And you don’t seem to understand mine…

Harry: I do, but there are more things to consider. Please come home, I don’t want to have this conversation over the phone!

Maggie: Okay, I’m heading home now.

Harry put his phone down to the nightstand with a long sigh, already tired from everything that happened that day and he knew this conversation would be a hard one too, but they needed to be on the same page when it came to their family.

It was late getting late and Harry grew a little more restless with each passing moment. Paisley, Maggie’s sister lived about thirty minutes away from them and it’d been forty minutes since she sent her last text. At first he figured she maybe stayed and talked for a little longer with Paisley, or stopped for some fast food which he knew she liked so much whenever she was upset, but when an entire hour passed by he was getting worried.

He kept sending her texts that didn’t even get delivered and when he tried to call it went straight to her voicemail. Harry was losing his shit so he decided to call Paisley to see if she knew anything about her.

“She hasn’t arrived home yet?” she asked, clearly surprised.

“No, and she is not answering my calls and texts. When did she leave from yours?”

“A long time ago. Almost right away when you texted her to go home.”

“Fuck,” Harry breathed out, anxiously pacing the floor as he held the phone to his ear. “Okay, can you please call your parents in case she went there for whatever reason? I’ll try her friends.”

“Yeah, sure. Let me know if you got a hold of her,” Paisley told him before they ended the call.

Harry was scrolling through his contacts, trying to decide who Maggie would go to first in this situation and just as he was about to call the first person, his phone started ringing with an unknown number.

“Hello?” he answered the call unsurely, his heart beating fast in his chest as he stood in the middle of the room.

“Mr. Harry Styles?” a male voice asked on the other end.

“Yes, it’s me. Who am I speaking to?”

“I’m Officer Field speaking. You were listed as the emergency contact for your wife, Margaret Linn Styles.”

Blood rushed out of Harry’s face faster than he could even process what was happening. He stood completely frozen, his hands were getting clammy as he started sweating as if he just ran the marathon.

“What happened?” he asked weakly, barely even finding his own voice.

“Mr. Styles, I have bad news…”

Harry makes his way down to the entertainment room, walking like a zombie, only thinking about the bottle of vodka that sits in the minibar down there. Following his skin burning shower he tried to go to bed, but his head was starting to spin from everything that’s been swirling in his mind and he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop it if he didn’t numb himself somehow. Unfortunately, his only way of doing it has been drinking, nothing seemed to help him the way alcohol did and though he knew he should never solve any of his problems with drinking, he still couldn’t help himself sometimes. When the pain was growing immensely, taking over his whole body, he chose the easiest way to get rid of the guilt or at least stop himself from… feeling.

Grabbing the bottle from the mini fridge he snatches himself a glass as well, not drinking straight from the bottle at least, and plopping himself down to the couch he pours a generous glass, drinking it without any chaser.

He winces as the alcohol burns down his throat, but at least it’s a different kind of pain, that takes the focus away from the one he is feeling in his chest.

One glass chases the other and since he is not particularly used to the heavy drinking, he is more like the ‘let’s nurse this pint for an hour’ type of guy, the raw vodka kicks in pretty quickly.

 But he is not the only one who can’t fall asleep tonight.

You tried everything in your power to end your misery and finally fall asleep, but your mind and body was plotting against you and made you toss and turn until you couldn’t take it any longer. Making a good cup of tea seemed like a good idea, so you headed down the kitchen.

As you round the corner after the stairs and you’re about to walk into the kitchen, you notice how the lights are on down in the entertainment room. You stop in your tracks and try to think back if anyone was there before you went upstairs, but you don’t think it was the case.

You figure since there are only two adults living in the house, it must be Harry down there and right now, facing him doesn’t sound like a good idea, so you decide to leave him be, but that’s when you hear the voice of some kind of glass breaking, followed by a heavy accented cursing and it changes your mind right away.

“Harry?” you softly call out as you walk down the stairs, not sure what to expect down there. He is crouching down, his back in your direction as he is trying to get the pieces of the broken glass up from the floor, but he is too disoriented to succeed in the task and it’s obvious that an injury is deemed to happen sooner or later.

“Harry, you’re gonna cut yourself!” you warn him, and walking over to him you pull him up from his squatting position and when he looks at you is when you realize that he is drunk out of his mind.

“Y/N, oh shit, did I—Did I wake you up?” he slurs, knitting his eyebrows together as he tries to focus his vision on you.

“You didn’t, but let me just—Why don’t you sit down for a moment while I clean this up, huh?” you suggest, pulling him towards the couch, making him sit. He falls to the cushion like dead weight, letting out a tired sigh while you rush to get a broom and a dustpan to get rid of the broken glass on the floor as fast as possible before someone cuts themselves.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he breathes out closing his eyes.

“It’s okay. I’ll just clean it up quickly,” you assure him, getting down to business.

“Not about the g-glass. Well, about that as well…”

“Then why are you sorry?” you ask, as you sweep the shards onto the dustpan and throw them into the closest trashcan.

“About being… a pain in the ass,” he hiccups.

“You are not a pain in the ass,” you chuckle softly as you sit beside him.

“I am. I fucked things up,” he nods with a painful expression all over his handsome face.

“What do you mean?” You know you shouldn’t make him talk in this state, but you can’t help your curiosity. It seems like drunkenness makes his tongue run wild and you are desperate for the tiniest crumble of information about what’s going on in his head.

“I just… I kissed you,” he breathes out, his eyes popping open, but he is staring at the ceiling, not you.

“And?” you ask, trying to act cool, though your pulse is rapidly increasing.

“And I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Oh.” You lick your lips and try not to show how much that hurt. But even drunk, Harry notices the disappointment in your tone. His glassy eyes snap over to you and his face falls right away.

“That’s not how I mean it!” he gasps, reaching for your hand and you’re surprised by the sudden physical touch, but it feels kind of nice, so you let him hold your hand between his arm palms. “It’s not like I didn’t enjoy it, because fucking hell, it was amazing!” he bluntly tells you and you can already feel the heat crawling up your neck.

“Really?”

“Yes!”

“Then why did you tell me all of that in my room just earlier now?”

Harry pulls his hands back and moves his arms across his face, covering his eyes as he slides down the couch, his legs spreading out in front of him. He lets out a shaky whimper and seeing him like this worries you a lot. Harry is always in control, he has never let him fall apart like this before.

“Because… I don’t deserve to feel this way,” he confesses, confusing you even more. What is he talking about?

“Why wouldn’t you?”

He shakes his head under his arms, biting into his bottom lip as he inhales deeply, like he is trying to keep something inside, something you shouldn’t know about, but now you are desperate to find it out.

“I’m a fucking mess,” he breathes out, letting his arms fall to his sides, but he keeps his eyes closed, shutting you out in a way. “I don’t deserve to have these feelings,” he repeats again and it appears he is more likely talking to himself, rather than to you.

“Harry, what are you talking about?”

“I can’t tell you. I can’t tell you, because if I did, you’d never be able to look at me again.”

Now he is crying. Tears are rolling down his cheeks and his lips are trembling and you’ve never seen him in such a vulnerable state and quite frankly, it scares you. You knew him to be a strong and stable man, but now he resembles a frightened little boy, so lost in this big world.

“I’m pretty sure it’s not that bad, Harry.”

“It is,” he winces, as if it’s causing him physical pain to even talk about it.

“Harry…” You breathe out and moving closer you place a hand on his knee, giving it a gentle, reassuring squeeze. He turns to face you, his eyes all watered and glistening, he looks so heartbroken, it almost pains you as well.

“Promise me you won’t see me as a monster,” he whispers.

“I-I promise,” you nod, already bearing yourself for the worst, judging from the look on his face.

Taking a deep breath he looks around, as if he is making sure no one else is listening. Then his eyes fall down to his hands in his lap, he fidgets with his fingers, his tongue running along his pink lips before he takes a deep breath and speaks up again.

“Maggie’s death… It was all my fault. I fucking… killed my own wife.”

His voice dies down at the end of the sentence, staring into the void, completely zoned out as you sit beside him, shocked at his words. This was not exactly what you were expecting him to say. Harry starts sobbing again, the hot tears running down his cheeks as he starts crying and panic sets in you. He is so out of his own world, you have no idea what’s happening to him. Rushing over to the mini fridge, you grab a water for him, thinking it might help him at least after all the alcohol he has consumed.

“Here, drink some water,” you softly tell him, taking the cap off as you hand him the bottle. He takes it with a shaky hand and raising it to his trembling lips he takes a few small sips. “Harry, what do you mean it was your fault?” you ask, knowing well you probably shouldn’t push it, but you can’t just ignore what he said.

“Exactly what I said,” he sobs shaking his head vigorously. “It was all my fault, I was a fucking coward and that’s why she died! I could have stopped her! I should have gone after her!”

He is not answering you, not entirely. He is speaking thoughts that have been planted in his head a long time ago and they seem to be on repeat whenever he is feeling down. As much as you want to get more details out of him, he needs to rest, especially because he is working in the morning.

“Come on, let’s get you to bed, H,” you tell him as you stand up and reach out for him to help him to his unsteady feet. It turns out to be a little harder than you expected, but you manage to get him up from his sitting position, and throwing one of his arms over your shoulders you start to walk him up towards his bedroom.

“You fucking hate me now, don’t you?” he slurs, his other hand reaching out towards the wall to steady himself a little more.

“I don’t hate you, Harry.”

“But you think I’m a monster, right?”

“I’m not sure I know enough to think anything about you. This is a conversation we should have when you’re sober,” you suggest and he huffs.

“M’sorry for getting drunk in the middle of the night.”

“It’s alright. But I think you’ll have a mean headache in the morning,” you tease him as you finally reach the upstairs and head down the hallway towards his room.

“You’re a fucking angel, Y/N. You know that?” He just keeps talking and talking and you find it funny how different he is from his reserved and quiet self in this state.

“Am I?”

“Yeah. You are. You are so good to my daughter and to me as well… I really don’t get why your fucker ex cheated on you,” he huffs and you can’t help the smile that tugs on your lips. “What was his name? Kyle?”

“Keith,” you correct him.

“That fucker, Keith!” he spats making you laugh as you push his bedroom’s door open and walk him inside finally. “I bet he had a small dick.”

“Why does that matter,” you chuckle, making him sit on the edge of the bed.

“Because guys with small dicks are always out of touch with themselves. They think they are just better than everyone for some reason.”

“Do you have any scientific research to prove that?” you tease him as you push him down, tugging him under the covers, like a little kid.

“No, I just… know shit,” he sighs, his eyes falling closed the moment his head rests on the pillow.

“Alright. You can tell me more about what else you know when you’re sober. Now get some sleep, because you have work in the morning.”

You make sure he lies on his side as he hums his response. Reaching down you brush his messy curls out of his forehead as he breathes out harshly through his nose, probably about to fall asleep any moment.

Tapping on the screen of his phone on the nightstand you make sure that he has set up his alarm and you see the little alarm clock icon at the top bar so you are just about to walk out when you turn back around.

Seeing how he pushed so many things down inside of him, you’re not convinced he’ll be willing to give you the answers you are looking for. You’re afraid he might talk himself out and give you some kind of bullshit answer, so reaching for his phone you sneakily take his thumb and open the device, all whilst he doesn’t even move an inch.

Scrolling through his contacts you find Niall’s number and send it over to yourself before deleting the message so you leave no trail behind. You set the phone back to his nightstand and head out finally, going to bed as well, right after sending Niall a quick message.

Y/N: Hi! It’s Y/N, I got your number from Harry’s phone. Can you come by sometime tomorrow? I need to talk to you about something.

When you come down in the morning it’s pretty obvious that even though Harry had his alarm on, he snoozed one too many times and now he is in a rush, trying to get everything done and leave on time.

“Good morning,” you greet him and Izzy upon walking into the kitchen. Harry’s head snaps up from the half-made breakfast in front of him and judging by his expression, he more or less remembers what happened last night. “Rough morning?” you ask teasing him to ease the tension.

“Uh, yeah. Woke up a little late,” he nods, finishing up Izzy’s sandwich just the way she likes, without the crust on before handing it over to her. Izzy grabs the plate and marches over to the dining table, quietly munching on her food while Harry quickly tries to make himself a coffee, but he is a hot mess, still in his night clothes when he is supposed to leave in about ten minutes.

“I’ll make you the coffee, go and get changed,” you offer, taking over the machine.

“Oh, thank you,” he nods and for a change, he doesn’t try to argue with you, he just disappears upstairs.

You make his coffee just as he likes and leave it on the counter for him before joining Izzy at the table with your own breakfast. She is babbling about how excited she is for her piano lesson today, because she’s been practicing a lot lately. When Harry appears again he is dressed for work, but still looks a little disoriented.

“Hey,” you softly say as you join him in the kitchen.

“Hey, thank you for the coffee,” he nods, moving around the kitchen.

“No problem. How are you feeling?” you ask, hoping you’re not crossing any boundaries. Harry opens his mouth to answer, but then closes, probably not sure how much he should share, though he didn’t have too much problem with that last night.

“I’m… A little hangover, but I’m… fine,” he nods shortly. “Y/N, about last night, I—“

“We can talk about it later, okay? Don’t stress about it.” You give him a reassuring smile and you can tell he is sort of relieved he doesn’t have to have this conversation right in this moment.

“Thank you.”

“No worries. And I’ll clean up in the kitchen, don’t be late,” you smile at him warmly. You can tell he wants to protest, but he also knows he is running late so he doesn’t have much choice.

“Thank you, I’ll… see you later.”

Storming over to Izzy he presses a kiss to her forehead before grabbing all his stuff and leaving.

Niall texts you back not long after breakfast that he is free to drop by when Izzy is having her piano lesson. You carry on with the morning as usual, trying your best not to dwell on everything that happened last night.

Just as Rosaline and Izzy get settled for the lesson you hear a car pulling up outside and a few moments later the doorbell rings through the house.

“Let’s get one thing straight, is it a booty call?” Niall questions right away as you let him inside.

“It’s good to see you again,” you chuckle, shaking your head at him.

“So no sex is gonna be involved?” he smirks and you know he is just teasing you.

“No, sorry to disappoint.”

“Oh, you can never disappoint me, darling,” he winks at you before walking into the kitchen to serve himself a drink. “So why did you need to see me so desperately?”

“Well, I know I shouldn’t be discussing this with you first, but I feel like I need to know some basic information that Harry might not give me so I thought you could help me out.” Niall nods as he pours himself some soda and joins you at the kitchen island, sitting on the stool next to you. “I uhh—I need to ask how much Harry shared with you about… about me—and, um what—“

“Save the stuttering, I know you two kissed,” Niall cuts you off and you breathe out in relief that you don’t have to be the one breaking him the news.

“Oh, okay,” you nod with an awkward smile. “Yeah, so that happened. And last night he and I had this conversation how we should just keep our relationship professional and all that. We both went our own way but then later I found Harry down in the entertainment room, drunk and basically having a meltdown of some sort.”

“How drunk was he?” Niall asks, knitting his eyebrows together.

“Pretty drunk. He broke a glass and he was… crying and talking about a lot of stuff.” Niall takes your words in as he inhales deeply, just nodding for you to continue. “He started telling me how sorry he was for fucking things up and he was a mess, like a huge fucking mess. Then he told me about how he shouldn’t be feeling the way he does, because he doesn’t deserve it…”

“Jesus…” Niall shakes his head, probably already knowing where this is heading.

“And then he told me that his wife’s death was his fault. That was… pretty intense.”

“I can imagine.”

“I know I have to talk to him about it, but I’m really afraid he might shake it off, but it seems like he is having some serious issues and I wouldn’t want things to get out of hands. That’s why I thought I would talk to you, maybe you know what to do or how to approach him with such a sensitive subject.”

“Yeah, I get it. It’s nice of you for being so considerate,” Niall nods, scratching his chin. “Alright, I’ll tell you what I know, but please also let him tell you if he decides to share it with you.” You nod and turn all your attention to him. “I didn’t find this out until about two months after Maggie’s death, but apparently, the night she died they had a fight. Maggie had been nagging Harry to have another baby, but he wanted to wait a little longer, until Izzy is older so they don’t have two babies at the same time. Harry said they had another big fight about it, said some pretty nasty things to each other before Maggie just stormed out to go over to her sister’s. She made it there, but… never made it back home.”

A shiver runs down your spine at the thought of how devastating it must have been, losing your partner after an intense fight without ever making up.

“Understandably, Harry completely lost his shit. For weeks he was barely functioning and we all knew he was grieving, but we didn’t know that he was blaming himself for what happened. When he wasn’t getting any better we somehow convinced him to go to therapy which luckily helped him immensely, but he stopped going a while ago. I thought he got things straight in his head about this whole Maggie situation, but I guess he is still hung up on that.”

“What about the drinking, did that happen a lot?”

“Not that I know of. I mean, yeah, he got wasted quite a few times, but only at the beginning. I don’t think you should be afraid that he might turn into an alcoholic. I think he is just really struggling right now because of the conflict he is having because of you.”

“Because of me?”

“Yeah, he is clearly very confused about his feelings for you and he has convinced himself he shouldn’t feel this way towards anyone ever, but then you came,” he chuckles softly giving you a knowing look.

“Niall, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do,” you breathe out, worry and fear slowly taking over your judgment.

“First and foremost just… be patient with him, okay? This is genuinely the first time he has taken an interest in anyone since Maggie and I think he has already taken some big steps, which is a good sign. Try to talk to him and be open, but don’t push him. I know it can be really annoying when he keeps things, but let him tell you everything at his own pace.”

You nod, understanding the importance of not rushing Harry into anything. Just because you want to get over the awkwardness of the current situation, you can’t push him over his own boundaries.

“Okay, I’ll try to do that,” you nod taking a deep breath. “Thank you, Niall.”

“Oh, and don’t let him give you the ‘you work for me, we shouldn’t be doing this’ bullshit alright? He’ll try to make it out to be some kind of business, but it’s not. He needs to get himself out there and I genuinely think you’re the right person to help him with that.”

His words touch you and you’re not even sure how to react. Niall is clearly someone who stands close to Harry and if he thinks that you and him should give it a try, that must mean something. You can only hope that Harry will come around and think the same at one point.

Izzy gets a little fussy by the end of the day and it takes a lot of persuading to get her to bed in the evening. Harry arrived back home on his usual time and because it’s been such a hot day outside, he took her out to the pool. The problem with that is that Izzy never wants to get out of the water, so when Harry said it’s time for dinner she threw a bit of a tantrum as Harry brought her inside and her mood didn’t get any better later either.

You spent most of your night in the living room just watching TV and working on your laptop, updating your schedule for the upcoming weeks and doing some editing. Harry stays upstairs with Izzy for a long time when her bedtime comes and you figure she is still a little moody, but then you eventually hear his footsteps approaching. Harry pads his way into the living room and joins you on the couch. When you glance over at him you know he is trying to find a way to start the conversation you both know you need to have, so you put your laptop aside and turn your attention towards him.

“Y/N, I’m really sorry about last night. I’m honestly so terribly ashamed you had to… see me like that,” he starts, clearly nervous to bring it all up.

“It’s fine, happens to everyone,” you assure him and it’s the genuine truth.

“It’s not a regular occurrence, really. I usually know my limits and try to stay within them. I’m really sorry for making you uncomfortable.”

“Harry, don’t worry about it,” you tell him again with a warm smile. “We can get past it. I think what we really should talk about is… what you said. Do you remember what we talked about?” you carefully ask.

“I do…” he nods, awkward diverting his eyes away from you. “I’m sorry I told you all that in that state, I didn’t… I didn’t mean to just pour it all on you so suddenly.”

“It’s alright.” “No, it’s not,” he protests shaking his head. “I dropped a bomb on you because I couldn’t deal with my own problems the right way, and it’s not okay. So please, just… accept my apology.”

“Okay, I accept it,” you nod.

“And about the whole thing with… What I told you about Maggie…”

“Just know that you don’t have to talk about it now if you don’t want to. I’m happy to listen whenever you are ready to, but I’m not trying to push you.”

“I know and thank you for that, but I feel like… I owe you an explanation,” he admits and you nod, happy that he is willing to talk instead of closing himself off entirely. “The day Maggie died, we got into this huge fight and she ran off to her sister. It was… a whole mess, we both said things we clearly didn’t mean and I texted her, tried to get her to come home so we could talk things out. That’s when… she was on her way home when it happened and… I still feel like it was my fault.” His voice dies down at the end, just like it did last night when he was talking about her. It clearly left a deep scar on him that’s still not entirely healed and you can’t blame him.

“Everyone keeps telling me that it wasn’t, that it was just all one big coincidence, but all I can think about is that she would still be here if we didn’t get into the fight and I didn’t piss her off so much she felt the need to leave.”

“There was no way for you to see what would happen, Harry. It’s not like you did it on purpose, you had no power over the drunk driver or where Maggie chose to drive home. It really was a coincidence.”

“I know, I mean… I understand, but somehow, my mind keeps telling me that it was my fault.”

“Have you thought about… getting professional help?” you ask, trying to be polite and cautious on the topic.

“Actually, I just called my therapist today to see if… she can fit me in for some sessions,” he admits and you’re surprised at how great he is dealing with the matter. “I feel like I might need some guidance again, before things get out of my hands.”

“That’s great! It really is good to go a bit ahead of problems.”

“Yeah. About us…” he exhales nervously, his eyes meeting yours and you can tell this is the part that’s got him the most anxious. You take this as your queue to take over the conversation.

“Harry, I’m going to be honest with you,” you start and he nods, chewing on his bottom lip. “I… I have feelings for you. You haven’t been the only one making realizations,” you add with a soft chuckle, that brings a smile to his lips as well. “I know that the situation is not quite ideal, but it’s not impossible. But I just want you to be honest with me, do you have feelings for me?”

The conflict is clearer than daylight in his eyes as he is trying to figure out what to say and you really hope he isn’t gonna try to mask his feelings.

“I do,” he then admits and it’s like a giant rock has been lifted off your chest and shoulders. “It’s just… I’m not sure how to deal with it.”

“That’s alright,” you tell him. “Let’s just… take it slow. We’re not in a rush, we obviously have a lot to figure out and that’s completely fine. The pace is completely up to you, I know that you need to get a lot of things straight in your head and I can wait, okay? I’m not going anywhere, I really like where we are now and… I just hope that we can move this forward whenever you feel comfortable with it.”

Harry stares back at you for a moment like you’re some alien creature. Like what you just said wasn’t normal or even human and that’s quite heartbreaking, because somewhere along the way he managed to convince himself that he is not worthy of the most basic decency.

“I-I can’t ask you to wait around while I figure my shit out, that’s not—“

“You’re not asking me, Harry,” you smile at him softly. “This is my decision.”

His eyes are shifting between yours and he is most likely looking for any sign of doubt or qualm, but there’s none, you genuinely meant everything you said.

“So, where does this leave us?” he then asks and you shrug your shoulders.

“Everything goes on like it used to and… whenever you are ready to take a step, just… let me know.”

You can tell he is filled with questions, but he just nods with a weak smile and leaves it at that. This will be a bumpy ride, but at least you are more or less on the same page now.

You haven’t been a big fan of birthday celebrations. You just never understood the big fuss about it, throwing a party for surviving another year? Seems a little weird. This is why you never treated this day any different.

The morning starts off as usual, only that you wake up to a few texts from friends and family, wishing you a happy birthday. Your mom has sent you a whole damn paragraph about how you made her life complete and it wouldn’t be the same without you in it. She does that every time, gets a little too sentimental about it, but you guess it’s because it reminds her of getting old herself as well, which is a sensitive topic in her book these days.

It’s a Sunday, so a day off for you. Coming downstairs you find Izzy and Harry sitting at the dining table, already having their breakfast as usual, but when she sees you, she jumps in her seat in excitement.

“Good morning, Y/N!” she beams with a wide smile, buzzing more than she usually does.

“Morning, Sunshine. Slept well?” you ask as you pour yourself some cereal and join them at the table. Izzy nods and then peeks at her father as if she is trying to hide something with him from you.

“Daddy, can we do it now?” she asks in a whisper, but it’s not quiet enough for you to not hear it.

Your eyes lock with Harry’s over the table and the butterflies in your stomach start dancing around right away when you see the tiny smirk tugging on his lips.

It’s been almost an entire week since your conversation with him and things finally seem to get in place for now. Harry had his first session with his therapist on Wednesday and though you can tell he is still trying to find his own boundaries, he doesn’t worry as much about the situation as he probably did before. He isn’t walking on eggshells around you, unsure how to act. More or less it’s the same as it was before the kiss, but there are tiny little things that still make it different. Stolen glances, lingering touches and sweet smiles are making your days more colorful now and it’s gotten you all giddy and… happy.

“What are you two plotting, huh?” you ask, pointing at them with your spoon before digging into the cereal. Izzy glances at Harry one last time and when he nods shortly, she turns to you and throws her arms in the air.

“Happy birthday, Y/N!” she cheers as Harry reaches over to the chair next to him and pulls up a box from under the table, handing it over to Izzy so she could give it to you. “This is for you!”

“You shouldn’t have gotten me anything!” you gasp, truly surprised by the gift. You were not expecting it at all.

“It’s not a birthday without gifts!” she giggles excitedly as she hands the box over. You push your cereal bowl to the side and set the gift to the table in front of you. “Open it!” she urges you, her little hands curled into fists as she watches your every move, as if it was her who just got a present.

Your eyes meet Harry’s green ones over the table once more and he is watching you with a small smile, probably enjoying that he could surprise you.

You pull on the bow on the top and then carefully take the wrapping paper off until the box is revealed underneath and you gas as soon as you realize what this is.

“Oh my God!” you breathe out in disbelief as you take a better look at the gift. Harry didn’t just get you something, he actually listened to what you were saying and remembered that you’re a big fan of oldschool cameras and you have a special love for polaroids. And now, in front of you in the box is your very own polaroid camera, something you’ve been really wanting to buy for yourself for a long time, but you just never got around to actually do it.

“Do you like it? Daddy said you’d really like it!” Izzy asks with big eyes, watching your reaction.

“Oh, I love it!” you breathe out, feeling all mushy and melted from the gesture. Izzy climbs over to your lap, hugging your neck. You wrap your arms around her in a bone crushing hug and you’re so thankful for having them both in your life.

Izzy sits on your lap as you get the camera out of the box and figure out how to work it. She then hops off your lap and poses for the first ever picture taken with your new favorite camera.

“But it’s blank!” she furrows her eyebrows when the photo comes out.

“Because you have to wait for it to develop. It’ll show up in a few minutes,” you smile, setting the photo down on the table.

Izzy sits in her seat, excitedly waiting for the photo to develop and in the meanwhile you join Harry in the kitchen where he is washing the dishes. He spots you and turns the tap off, turning to face you as he dries his hands off.

“You shouldn’t have gotten me anything,” you tell him softly, but really feel touched by the gesture.

“No, but I wanted to. Do you really like it?”

“I love it!” you chuckle in disbelief. How could he think you wouldn’t like it?!

You move forward, aiming for a hug out of instinct but then stop yourself, not wanting to cross any boundaries, but Harry notices the motion and for your surprise, he wraps you in a warm hug on his own. You melt against his hard chest, your nose buried into his shoulder as your arms circle around his waist.

When you lean back, you both keep your arms around each other, eyes meeting and you realize just how close you are to each other. Without even knowing, your gaze flickers down to his lips and you’re dying to kiss him, to feel them again, but you don’t move, wanting to keep your word about letting him set the pace.

But what you didn’t expect is Harry leaning down and capturing your lips in a sweet, innocent kiss. It’s so different from the last time, that was a hot mess, but this one… this is light as a feather but still makes your stomach somersault as you taste his lips, cupping his face in your hands.

“Daddy! I’m thirsty!” Izzy calls out from outside and it kind of ends the moment. Harry pulls back and when you look at him you see that his eyes are still closed. They flutter open a moment later, finding your gaze and you look for any kind of regret or fear in them, but they are nothing but shiny.

“Just a moment, baby!” he answers her, a small smile tugging on his lips as he leans down and pecks the corner of your mouth again before his hands fall from your waist. “Happy birthday, Y/N,” he breathes out before grabbing a bottled water and heading back to Izzy.

You bring your fingertips to your tingling lips as you take a moment to really process what just happened and you can’t push down the smile that spreads across your face. Harry finally took the first step and now you can’t wait to see what’s coming next.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

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[theunholygrails]

Foolish Games Part 2

Masterlist

A/N: Introducing new characters and some drama! Percy is still sexy as ever :'(.

Warnings: BJ

I woke up to a door slamming so hard it joined the symphony of my pounding headache. I groaned, hoisting myself over the back of the couch to investigate to intrusion. A brunette head of long sweeping hair rushed through the foyer, barreling towards the kitchen. A familiar mop of black hair hurried after.

Reyna was speaking so fast in Spanish my brain scrambled to keep up. I noted lots of curse words followed by a series of sentences too fast I was surprised she even knew what she was saying. Percy was answering in slow measured words, probably fighting a hangover of equal measure. I ducked behind the back of the couch, reaching for my phone plugged in on the coffee table.

It was noon. 2% battery and a couple messages from friends. Nothing from my ex thank gods. Five from Annabeth being nosey. I opened my uber app, squinting in the sunlight breaking through the cream curtains. I managed to get my driver secured.

A door slammed and I winced, peaking to check that they were in another room. I did not immediately spot my dress in the chaotic. I grimaced remembering the midnight swim. When I sat up I finally noticed the white tshirt I wore and the basketball shorts. And then I went rigid remembering what happened after the swim.

“Motherfucker,” I whispered.

Now I really had to get out of this house. I checked the arrival time of my driver. Three minutes away. Great. I made my way on shaky knees to the large wooden front door. My keys were still in the collection dish. I grabbed them quietly and turned the door handle a fraction of an inch before another door slammed open and Reyna came barreling back into the foyer, brown eyes landing promptly on my guilty ass. Behind her, Percy pursed his lips into a thin line and raised both of his hands to lay on top of his head. His biceps strained nicely against the thin t shirt.

“The fuck is this?” Reyna whispered.

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing,” I babbled.

“It’s just Noa, Rey. Gods,” Percy said.

“I can see that, Percy!” She snapped. I was glad her spear was not strapped across her back this morning. “Why is she sneaking out of my house in your clothes?”

“People were swimming last night. Her clothes got wet.”

“I’m sure the fuck they did.”

“Zeus, Rey! You ended it with me. Why does it even matter?”

“Because I still fucking love you! I’m sorry, okay?” She burst out crying and Percy instantly pulled her against his chest. The memory of being in those arms drove me out the door like a nest of hornets.

~~~~

“I’m just saying. You have nothing to feel sorry for,” Annabeth paused to sip her iced coffee. “Unless they get back together and then you sleep with him. But as of right now, you’re good. Trust me. Been on the Percy train. We’re still friends. You’ll get over it. Just a harmless rebound for both of you.”

I groaned, laying my chin on the cool metal table parked outside our favorite coffee shop positioned between our New York apartments. Just two Manhattan women enjoying their Sunday afternoon. The air was cooling as fall neared. I pulled my baseball cap closer to the top of my sunglasses.

“Should I call him?”

“Maybe tomorrow. Let him deal with his relationship drama. Reyna is a lot to deal with. Still nothing from fuckface?”

“Nope and that’s fine.”

“Good for you. We will hydrate you, get you a good dinner, hit the gym before work in the morning and then get back on our bad bitch mental track. Agreed?”

~~~~

“Good Monday, yogis,” I chirped from my desk at the corner of my studio.

The third class was beginning to trickle in and I was settling into my rhythm. Hot yoga was next and hopefully I would sweat out all the negativity I’d allowed lately. I was in the middle of emailing back a potential client when someone rapped at the wood of my desk. I glanced up to a blonde male who waved gently.

“Heya, sansei Noa,” he said.

“That’s karate. Can I help you?”

“Do you do trial classes?”

I hit send on my email and closed my laptop. The guy was built like a poser with the defined muscles and chiseled jaw but his voice was soft and tempered. He was clean shaven and dressed like a basic gym bro.

“Normally you have to schedule them beforehand because of class size,” I gave my standard answer.

“Right, my bad. Sorry. I was just passing by the front and it looked like the kind of place I needed right now. Can I go ahead and pick a date then?”

I was staring too long into his pale blue eyes, honed in on the polite response. A nice change from the daily demanding consumers. “You know what? Ive got space right now if you like? Have you ever done hot yoga?”

A brilliant white smile showcasing sharp canines. “My favorite.”

“Perfect. I just need a name, number and email to get you a file started.”

He leaned large hands on my desk. “It’s Luke Castellan.”

Before he could give the contact information, I cut him off. “Wait. I know you.” His tanned skin paled significantly.

“I…”

“You’re supposed to be dead!” I blurted out.

His eyes skated around the room and he leaned in closer. “That’s not supposed to be public knowledge. I assume you’re a demigod?”

“Luke, you trained me. We took fucking sculpting together. The Apollo table was right next to the Hermes one for fuck’s sake.”

He winced. I heard a murmuring from the rest of my class I was disturbing with my volume. I collected my shock finally. “Take a seat if you want. We should talk after class. I need to start.”

“Okay. Thank you. I’m sorry Noa.”

I waved him off and walked over to my yoga mat. I sat cross legged and drew in an even breath to smooth out my emotions.

It was a slow 30 minute class. Each pose and movement dragged on. Finally, I dismissed the group and nodded Luke outside. He was waiting on the bench outside of the studio I split renting with a few other instructors. I sat next to him, wiping sweat from my face with the towel slung over my pink sports bra.

“Alright, talk,” I said.

“Not much to say. I was given a second chance at my hearing. Here I am. Starting over.” A shrug of well-defined shoulders. The muscles flexed beneath his gleaming sweat. His red tank top stuck to his chest and stomach. “I wish I remembered you, truly. That time is such a blur in my life.”

“It’s ok. You were a lot older than me and to be honest I had a massive crush on you so I probably hid most of the time.”

A surprised smile slipped across his lips. “I’m assuming the betrayal helped you get over that?”

I laughed outloud, slapping his knee. “No shit! So where are you staying these days?”

“Just around the corner actually. Got a job at the local gym.”

“Yeah I bet the fuck you did.” I squeezed his forearm between both of my hands. I wanted to roll my eyes at me falling back into my school girl giddy at him. Betrayal of the gods aside. He was even more gorgeous than ever. The scar down his face gave him a dark sexy vibe. Like a bad boy even though he claimed he was rehabbing himself now.

“So how, did you feel about the class?”

“I mean, I’d like to sign up for it a couple times a week, that’s for sure. And I’d like to take you out to dinner to make up for not remembering a beauty like you.”

I almost bit my cheek biting out the response of “Yes!”

“You’ve got my number,” he said, chuckling quietly. “I’ve got to get to work.” He shouldered his gym bag and excused himself.

The bike back to my apartment was spent reliving my tween fantasies about bad boy Luke. I opened my apartment door and screeched seeing a man sitting at my kitchen counter. Percy turned to face me.

“You know you live in New York? You should really lock that.”

“It was!” I snapped.

A quick grin. “Yeah. But it was easy to break into.”

I dropped my bag onto the floor and brushed past him to get a protein shake from the fridge. “I have to shower and get prepared for my night classes.” I told him.

“I know. I’m sorry I didn’t call earlier.”

I shrugged. “I didn’t either.”

He paused, studying my face in the shitty lighting of the single bulb hanging between us over the counter. “Are we good, Noa?”

“Of course. What’s a little head between friends?”

“Okay…I can’t read you. Can you not play tough just for a minute?”

I chugged the shake and set the bottle down between us. I leaned my arms on the chilled counter, bun knocking against the light. “Honestly, Percy. I’m fine. We are good.”

“Reyna moved back in.”

“You’re engaged again?”

I drank from the empty bottle to give myself something to do. He watched me with those green eyes. He’d known me for far too long. He was nearly impossible to deceive, but I was determined today. The fact that I had dreamt of fucking him two consecutive nights was irrelevant if he was off the table. Even if his lips did look incredibly juicy tonight. Even if they had done near illicit things to me just nights ago.

“I don’t know. She said she wanted to work on things. And it’s her dad’s house, so I can’t ask her to go and I don’t want to go to my mom’s and admit defeat.”

“You know you could stay here, Perc.”

He worked his jaw silently, then rubbed his hands over his face. “Thanks. I do know. Even if we aren’t officially back together, I think we should work on it…” he trailed off.

“And not tell her about you eating me out?” I leaned closer because I was mean to both him and myself. Because I knew this top combined with this angle gave him a simple opportunity. And he took it.

His tongue slid out between his lips as his eyes flicked down, stayed, then dragged deliberately back up. “Probably not,” he agreed.

For a long moment neither of us said anything. He had more to lose now than me. We were no longer on equal playing fields. So, I left the ball in his court. “I’m going to go shower.”

I was done washing in the first ten minutes. The second ten was giving him a little wiggle room to decide. I had my hand on the faucet to cut off the water that was beginning to go cold when I heard the door creak open. I watched through the fogged glass, catching a hold of my breath. I watched as he tugged his shirt off. My stomach flipped over itself when he reached for his jeans. What had I done?

The opening door let in a rush of cool air, perking my skin to attention. My eyes raked unapologetically over his naked, aroused body. His dark hair quickly slicked against his stubble covered jaw. His eyes were no longer the sea green but murky like the deep water of the ocean.

“Hey,” he said quietly, cautiously.

“Hey,” I giggled, reaching out to touch his rough jaw. He winced, catching my hand with his. “We probably shouldn’t kiss again.”

“Sure, whatever you want, Percy. What can I do to you?”

He groaned, turning his mouth into my palm, scraping teeth against the vulnerable skin. “Touch me,” he said.

My free hand instantly planted against his chest, scraping at the muscle. His eyes fluttered closed, head tilting back to expose his throat. I slid my other hand into his thick hair, tugging it tightly between my fingers and pulling to grant myself more access to the strong column of his neck. I bit it first, backing him into the tiled wall when he shuddered. I kissed over the reddening skin and moved my hands to his flat stomach, feeling the shuddered breaths beneath my touch.

“Like this?” I asked.

His reply was unintelligible. I kissed down his chest, moving my hand lower still as I went. When my fingers brushed over the v-line of his hips, I shifted my route away from the center and to his thighs. An annoyed grunt escaped his lips. “Hush,” I scolded, getting my knees under me. The now cold water was hitting the back of my neck and flowing down my body. I placed my hands on the inside of both his thighs, trailing them upwards and upwards until he nearly contorted when I gripped him. He let out a scandalous string of curses that quickly turned to moaning silence when I took him into my mouth.

He unraveled in minutes and I let him cum all over the breasts I had teased him with earlier. I rose in front of him, my own rosy cheeks mirroring his. “Now we’re even.”