#look math for me is hard dont ask me ANYTHING about it sometimes i get nervous and can't even do plus and minus
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And tomorrow I have ENEM AGAIN! leave alone please I just want to go to art school why do I need to make a test about math :,,,)
#last time i got 500 ish in math andd the maximum note is 1000#look math for me is hard dont ask me ANYTHING about it sometimes i get nervous and can't even do plus and minus#enem#crizztel rambling
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🤍- ouran host club with a Pregnant! S/o
Characters are all older.
Ouran! High school host club
~fluff.
Honey Senpai🍰
- He’s so sweet with you!
- you guys eat cake with each other 24/7
- offers to carry you everywhere if your feet hurt, he’s insanely strong and can lift you up easily.
- gets you all of your cravings.
- lets you hold his bunny when you have mood swings💕
- gets the baby their own bunny before they’re born with the name you picked embroidered on the ear.
- when you cry, he cries.
- you’re crying because you can’t have a craving? So is he, you’re crying because you just saw a video of a baby seal? So is he, you’re crying because you love the baby you haven’t even met yet? So is he, also he’s holding onto the ultrasound with a death grip
- speaks to your belly alllll the time like atp if people are around him they’d think an actual, real adult was speaking to him he’s so engaged in the little conversations with your belly.
“Hmm should we have strawberry or coconut cake first baby…let’s choose both!”
“You know I’ve been so excited to meet you, me and your momma. Look! Here’s a picture of you!” As he shows your belly and ultrasound
“Good morning baby, how are we feeling today?”
“Goodnight baby! Dont give your mommy a hard time this night alright?” He would whisper, kissing your belly goodnight with a bright smile.
- if someone makes you cry or feel insecure about having a big belly he just gives them a look and they run away.
-cries when he sees the tiny baby clothes.
Tamaki Suoh 🌹
- he’s so dramatic 🙄ughhh
- “are your feet tired my love?! You’ve walked 20 minutes already today! Your feet must hurt my baby must be kicking in there ready to rest!”
“Someone get my darling a foot massage and a back massage spa day booked right now please! She must be hurting all over!”
- he’s making sure you don’t move an inch.
- knows more about what you should and should not do pregnant more than you do?
- gets all of your cravings x10. Like, you want some corn? Suddenly, there’s fried corn, corn on the cob, corn off the cob, creamed corn, popcorn, corn and beans, corn on some mashed potatoes. Everywhere, and you best bet they’re the best corn that they could possibly get.
- he finds your bump so cute, you have new maternity pictures every month with a new theme he puts on the wall blown up in size.
- girl dad. Just saying…
- sometimes he just randomly stops his whole charming prince act, gets on his knees and hugs your bump, sighing in contentment.
- spoils the baby rotten before they’re even here.
Kyoya Ootori
-now..you’re not gonna like this but he’s a little disconnected to the child until he meets them irl.
- like, he just finds the kid a tiny bump on his wife’s belly.
-sometimes, you’ll catch him staring at the ultrasound, tracing the outline of the baby carefully.
- he hates getting woken up, but if you’re sick in the middle of the night he’s immediately at your side rubbing your back and asking for some staff to help.
- researches about all of your symptoms, cravings, mood swings, what happens to the body during pregnancy and during the after math in postpartum.
- already has a therapist and a calm down room for you if you get ppd or ppr so that you can simply feel at peace.
-he cares more about you ngl.
“My dear no- you can’t deli meat like that it’s highly risky for salmonella. Put it back now.”
Kaoru Hitachiin
- cries so hard when you found out. Just fell to his knees and started crying.
- he’s more open about his feelings, much softer than his brother, so he’ll talk to the bump and tell you everything he’s feeling, asking in turn how you’re feeling as well and if you need anything.
- very very understanding of your pain.
“I know, I know, you’ll be okay, I understand that it hurts right now though”
“Hey we’ll get through this, what do you need right now?”
When you throw up or are having severe back and feet pains.
- doesn’t let anybody comment or joke about your belly if it makes you insecure. He kisses it and tells you how much he loves you and your belly.
Hikaru Hitachiin
- you’ve never seen him so serious in your entire life.
-it’s like he’s a different person?,.
- he’s extra careful, makes sure you’re protected and feel safe.
-he jokes with you when you feel like you’re in pain or when you’re throwing up to make you feel better.
- finds you absolutely radient when pregnant lemme say..
“It’s so small!” When holding up baby clothes.
- puts his headphones on your belly to have your baby listen to music.
- when you try to do anything that you used to do like play fight or pillow fights he’ll barely even use strength.
“Come on Hikaru you seriously can’t even aim for me anymore?”
“I was! It just went the other way!”
“Hikaru it’s in the bathroom toilet.”
- keeps the ultrasound in his wallet.
Takashi Morinozuka
- 100% your #1 protector
- you’re not lifting a finger near anything that’s easily breakable or that can hurt you.
- one of the times you saw him break the non chalent act is when you first saw the ultrasound. He took a breath in and his eyes lightly lit up
- you’re never on the ground. Like, he’s always carrying you everywhere..
“Mori i can walk you know.”
Mori- “😒…”
- loves to feel the baby kick! He will literally sprint over to you if you say that the baby is kicking
“Mori do you think I’m fat?”
“No.”
“You😭definitely 😭 do😭”
“😟…”
Cuddles, cuddles, cuddles, he cannot get OFF OF YOU!!
- spooning you, he’s big spoon ofc, hugging you from behind, having your legs wrapped around his waist, carrying you bridal style.
Ritsu Kasanoda
-sobbed when he found out you were pregnant
-he’s such a softie like
- he crotchets the baby plushies
- gets the baby blankets, pillows, stuff for their wall, so much stuff, so many toys…
- when he smiles the biggest is when he’s leaning his head on your belly and stroking it gently, talking to the little one inside.
- constantly worried about what’s good or bad for you.
- “hi honey, how’re you feeling today?”
“My precious baby inside of this belly.”
“I’d burn the world for you and I haven’t even met you yet precious baby.”
-his staff is terrified, if they make even the slightest comment about your belly negatively.
-if someone does certainly they’re a rookie because nobody from his syndicate would say that.
- sobs when he goes to ultrasounds with you.
- reads parenting books. Tries to. He can’t focus for that long but when he can he’s reading parenting books.
need requests so bad
Tags
#ouran hshc#ouran high school host club#ouran hshc x reader#tamaki x reader#tamaki suoh#honey senpai#honey senpai x reader#mori senpai#mori senpai x reader#ritsu kasanoda#Ritsu kasanoda x reader#kyoya ootori#kyoya x reader#kaoru hitachiin#kaoru hitachiin x reader#hikaru hitachiin#hikaru x reader#i love you#justasecretflower
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The DNI that made you do math to use it?? 👀👀👀
Youre the first one who asked, so you get the answer.
This person was one of the other two weirdos from the Half Life RP discord server i teased at in this post earlier this week:
Once again, i want to disclaimer that this is not a callout post, I will not be giving any details that could be used to identify this person, and I will not be posting screenshots this time because they are still active on tumblr afaik. I dont want this to be used to bully anybody, this is just meant to be my personal experience with my specific side of this story. You can DM me directly or throw in a private answer request in an ask if you want screenshots, but only people i already know and trust not to cyberbully them will get a direct link to the DNI. The person in the story I linked is no longer active anywhere online, which is why I provided screenshots in that story.
And before i lay out the DNI details, I just want to say... there is a FINE LINE between requesting accommodations for a mental illness and infantilizing yourself. I can handle the former just fine, I will do all I can to help, but if you're a grown-ass adult babying yourself and then going "waa im autistic i cant do anything" i have ZERO tolerance for that. Buddy, I'm autistic, and I'm telling you to grow the fuck up.
Yeah, this person was one of those. They were over 18, and had public breakdowns about how everything was just soooo hard for them and everybody else was being problematic and ableist for *checks notes* asking them to wait in a line that was a little long for a new phone plan. Real example, they were screaming and crying in the vent channel because the line at a verizon store was a little long, and implying their father was ableist for asking them to wait for 20 minutes. Buddy, there are some things you JUST need to deal with in the real world regardless of whatever mental soup you have going on. If your autism is that bad, the solution is looking into things like noise canceling headphones, sunglasses, etc. But the world will not stop having lines that you just need to wait in sometimes because you dont like them.
I know that sounds harsh, but they werent exactly the type of person im willing to give the benefit of the doubt to. The majority of their problems were entirely their own fault, and they were clearly enabling and feeding the harder parts of their autism rather than doing anything in the way of learning to cope with it. I am terrified of spiders, like full on panic-inducing terrified of them, but I throw hands at them instead of running or freezing up. One time, I posted a photo of this gigantic-ass spider that was in my dorm room after I screamed and squashed it with my heavy duty winter outdoor patrol boots (im a security guard, not a cop, before anyone draws the wrong conclusion from that), and they proceeded to vague about me IN THE SAME SERVER about how problematic and insensitive i am for triggering their arachnophobia. My brother in christ when did you ever say you were triggered by spiders? Do you expect me to read your fucking mind?
Another instance was when they asked for the role to access the nsfw channel. They were over 18, so it was granted. They then got mad at us whenever we got horny on main in the sex channel because they were only there for the dirty jokes (that were posted in the main server anyway because none of us consider JOKES to be inappropriate). They literally asked for the sex channel role and then claimed we were being problematic because we talked about sex in the sex channel when they were uncomfortable with sex. And they had borderline puritan attitudes around sex. They acted like sex was icky and gross and should never be discussed around them lest it corrupt their pure innocent soul. Yeah thats your own fault chief, grow the fuck up.
Some lightning round stories: they broke up with their boyfriend purely because he liked "irredeemable media" and when said boyfriend said they were being a total dick for that, they proceeded to whine and cry that he was actually being abusive and terrible for being upset that he was dumped over the fucking movies he liked of all things. They once sat outside their little siblings recital and complained that their parents were problematic for not charging their switch enough because it died at the same recital they couldnt be assed to sit in for because "waaaa its too boring and thats bad for my autism." Didnt even TRY, just sat outside the door playing switch and then complained that their parents didnt charge their switch enough. Can you not plug something into a wall your damn self.
Needless to say, i didnt like them very much. I can handle legitimate accommodations, but they were just so self-infantilising that they gave the rest of us a bad name. Your autism is not an excuse to act like a fucking baby. You are not made of porcelain, you will not shatter at the slightest touch, being uncomfortable is a part of life youre going to have to deal with. Its not your autism at this point, youre a grown-ass adult who throws a tantrum when the line is a little long. GROW. UP.
Now that that rants over, lets get into what the DNI on their blog was like, because this behavior from them that I just outlined really contextualizes it.
Their DNI had two tiers. The first was "red flags," which meant that if you met any one of them you apparently werent allowed to interact. Of this included your typical nazis, pedophiles, terfs, and... beastars fans. No word of a lie. Being a fan of beastars was apparently just as bad as being a nazi. What did my boy legosi do to you? (Side note: i am forever enamored with how these people seem to think that theres people out there who both self-identify as nazis and would respect a DNI. I didnt even respect that DNI. I didnt interact with them because i thought they were a terrible person, but i did not take that DNI seriously. I was openly posting about beastars in the same server LMAO) and it wasn't just beastars, there was a ton of media that i didnt even know had discourse around them that they listed as red flags if you ever touched. Amazing.
The second tier was "yellow flags" which meant that you werent allowed to interact if you met any 3 or more of them. Here was mostly media, including homestuck fans, neil gaiman fans (WHAT DID NEIL DO TO YOU), and harry potter iirc. (WHY DID YOU SINGLE OUT BEASTARS?? WHAT DID MY BOY LEGOSI DO TO YOU) my favourite part of this though, was that republicans were listed under yellow flags. Apparently its worse to be a beastars fan than a republican. We arent gonna fucking make it
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mha s4 ep 15-24 ( @maidofdarkness23
i feel like i should say, when i say i ship something, i dont always mean it is a serious way, sometimes its just cause its funny
Ep 15 whats with everyone in the intro and musical instruments? and aizawa being sad in a feild, before he was just sitting there now he's holding something
this is it, also it says neko, who's neko? maybe i'm looking at this too hard, but it feels important
miriyo! he's really nice, and positive about the whole ari/losing quirk thing
whats with todoroki and his phone?
Ep 16 *endeavour and almighty are next to eachother" some guy: are you guys seeing.. me: each other? guy:this! anyway, new ship just dropped endevor/almight (300+ ao3 works)
their opportunity are literal children and they are losing. L (I would have done better)
mic no. dunno what's he's going to do but no okay, so he's just sitting there saying nonsense for now
this is so funny. the children are ruthless
i think one of the kids have an inteligence quirk, no way he's natrually that mature.
okay, y'know what, almight/endevour could work out, like, actually, as friends at least
"my name is not 5 weenies" i could never say that with a straight face
todoroki, that will not work, i'm calling it I WAS RIGHT
"present mic's bad at his job, so now i'm doing it to"
Episode 17
they have the chance to be very badass and I am here for it (it's against pre schooners but hey)
telling people to shut up in the nicest way possible
endeavour and todoroki sure have a Relationship
"the equation isnt that difficult to solve" the equation:
i think, thats calculus or something
also ectoplasm is a maths teacher
frenchboy feeding midoriya is so funny
WAIT IS FRENCHBOY THE TRAITOR (his names Oyama or aiyama I think, ill check later)
i am concerned, he looks like hes planning to kill deku
oh no, not cheese
wonder what oyama knows, deku's only big secret is afo, but I don't think it's that
okay, so he didn't know anything weird, feel like it's more than that though
so all that was to make them friends? weird but OK
ep 18
the "normal school stuff!" though
loving all these suggestions, it's funny. my favourite is petting zoo, will re-watch this scene again maybe, currently one of my favourite scenes
todoroki doesn't know what a concert is
i love Eri, she's adorable.
ERI DOESNT KNOW SMILING, WHAT
new ship: eri/miriyo (cackling and dying while writing, i hate the fact i thought of it but eri litterally asked if they were going on a date, i do not codone shipping this, i think they have brother/sister type thing)
mha YouTube is called Yap!tube
gentle and his assistant are so goofy wth
ep 19
i know afo but who are the other 2? destro and purist thief. are they important?
ngl those general studies kids are based.
gentle has big "all bark no bite" vibes
holy shit jiro's good
"my fingers won't reach cause of my character design" loving the 4th wall break
i love thus arc, everyone is so silly
also tokoyami can play guitar, and mineta is so childish
eri! she has a dress now
Ep 20
i hope its the actual festival
miriyo no also Eri!
nezu has done exactly one good thing, which is letting eri come
just wanna laugh at this for a second
nezu, why is your hand up, why is your mouth a triangle, why is you evil vibes
ERI TOUR, LETS GO, i love her
shes ugly, i dont like her eyelashs, and hair, and the rest of her.
tamaki!
Nezu why do you eat like that
deku, if i was you i'd have died like, 5 seconds ago from embarsment
gentle will break into the festival and vlog it
loving the family dynamic la'brava and gental have going on
Ep 21
i have concerns regarding hownd dog
midoriya going right next to the placr where gentle is going, love this forshadowing
"rope is a specialty item" i'm pretty sure i can go to the petrol station near my house and get rope.
HE LOOKS OLDER, WHAT
funny number, heh
betting hound-dog is gonna come
Ep 22
deku, did not, infact have time
eri!
the yayorozu chant might just be how i remember her name
ERI SMILE, AJFHDJWNSDNM (i would die for her)
that performance is so cool
"romeo, the ghost of azkaban" GANDALF TOO "i am your true father" (luke, i am your father) Ah, yes, so original
eri's little recap of the show, though, can we just think of that
okay, eri's my favourite, then tamaki
why is bakugo melting the ice? what happened to todoroki?
kirashima and steel-guy seem like they'd be besties
"people are animals" -tamaki amajiki
CEMENTOS JUICE CUP
nejire won
ERI HAS A CANDY APPLE
Ep 23
ERI'S LIVING IN UA AOIDHSQKWDHNSBXJKOQANXFDSCS
ERI'S LIVING IN UA
MORE ERI!!
Aizawa, your mean who's the visitors?
i wanna know what happened with hawks and tokoyami
the pussy cats are here. why
the recent rankings are almight, endevour and hawks i need to know more about hawks, i have seen so many fanfics about him (havent read any yet) so now i'm curious
number 8's a fucking washing mashine. how
woods seems cool
edgeshot is a cool name
best jeanist has a cool quirk
i think i like hawks i like hawks, favourite hero. maybe one of the favourite characters. he's really cool (i am not surprised about the fanfics, i would be searching for them when i finish, but scared of spoilers. also why are him and dabi shipped? (dont tell me))
is endevour actually on fire? like, is his fire real. do people get burnt by touching him? why are there people so near him?
hawks just stabbing him with feathers.
okay, its official, tamkaki, eri and hawks are my favourites. tamaki, idk why, eri is so, so cute and hawks is fucking awesome
endevour is not allowed to be nice
i think this whole villan biography is big, cause la'brava had one too, and i have heard of the libaration before (not sure where)
villan attacked them, nomu i think
Ep 24
VILLAN FIGHT??
todoroki has an older sister, and an older brother. i think he's the only one with a fire quirk though, could be wrong
pretty sure hero's shouldnt destroy buildingd
hawks is so funny
intelligent nomu
if the one on the left is todoroki, does that mean the white hair is something he got, and he wasn't born like that
:0 did endevour just... die? no, he'a alive
this scene reminds me of the ending of the game "we become what we behold"
endevour litterally just went "gotta go fast" like sonic
bit with the feathers and endevour reminds me of a pheonix
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math and love ;lee juyeon>
math was really a wreck ball for you, you never understood it, but soon enough, who knew would soon be a turn over with the help of juyeon; quiet, smart, mean and couldn't be bothered about anyone but he is such a heart throbber, why must such a jerk be so pretty?
math.. it was the most dreading 3 hours of your day, you, barely awake, woken up by your name called out by your teacher. you quickly stood up full of anticipation you actually studied for this exam so it made you more excited expecting a good results. your results... disappointed you so badly but why? you studied for long hours for this exam though.. you slumped your shoulders as your math teacher gave you that look, she wanted to talk to you, "i think you really need some help.. your results gets worse each time. meet me after class" shitty was what you felt it was so annoying, you never understood math and now really proves math is really not your subject.
the bell rang, i slowly picked my bag to look for your math teacher. you entered her classroom, but she wasnt the only one there, beside her was a tall, black haired, well put upped; lee juyeon. what the hell. you didnt even want to take a step closer anything with juyeon would be hell, he was mean to everyone and so selfish. "there you are! i think i found your way to ace this class" your math teacher said with a wide smile on her face pointing to juyeon "your new tutor!", he just looked at you with no reaction. "oh please, he barely even shares his notes, your asking him to teach me now?" you said full of disgust "i dont think so, he was the one that actually proposed this idea to me juyeon is such a gem!" you stood there mouth agape, in disbelief as you swallowed her words, you looked up to see juyeon looking right in your eyes pricking up a grin 'nah bruh..' you thought.
well you still had to suck it up, but you still couldn't believe it even at the fact that your walking to his house together now to start your first session "so, let me guess you dont study at all?" juyeon said raising his eyebrows, oh that made you little angry, "hey! i actually did! really hard! i just cant get math, math hates me i hate math" you said juyeon just looked at you admiring you, it was just juyeon but come to look at him hes actually really pretty. reality hits when you took a step into his room, math... again. "so what is so difficult for you" he said that with his head leaning on his right hand staring right into your eyes, "i dont know..." you replied he just chuckled showing his pearly whites. after sometime, we finally got somewhere to start, honestly i dont know why but for the first time i actually understood math a lot better it was unbelievable.
you tried doing the question but at the corner of your eyes you kept looking at him, but he was already staring deep at you, you quickly looked away with your rosy cheeked, cursing yourself, then juyeon let out a laugh "was that worth a laugh?" you yelped "it was pretty cute" juyeon laughed pinching your cheeks, that made your heart race so fast "why am i acting like this?" you quietly thought. it was dark already and you were getting alot tired, you kept dozing off and waking up until you really felt off and slept while juyeon went to go get water for you, he came back to you sleeping on his table, he quietly took tiny steps back to his seat infront of you, placing the water gently on the table, he looked at you, adrenaline rush came it was full of love, he reached out his hands and tucked your hair behind your ear "your so cute fuck" he cursed he went closer to you feeling the warmth between the two of you.
juyeon fully laid beside you with both your heads on the tables, you slowly opened your eyes only to see juyeons perfects face causing you to react and the cup of water spilled all over you "shit" you let out juyeon quickly picked up the cup, getting a cloth to dry your shirt he quickly went to his closet to bring out a hoodie "its abit big but wear this, i dont want you falling sick" he said with a concerning voice. coming out of the toilet with his clothes, why have you not ever notice how juyeon was such a sweet person it made you fold for him much more, you have never seen this side of him before you were only used to the juyeon that gave people looks ,selfish, never shared any notes with anyone. juyeon keep his eyes as you walked over to him "sorry.." you said he just nodded his head he was too busy looking at his clothes on you "my clothes look even better on you, you worked really hard today, and honestly i had a hard time trying to keep my feeling kept but fuck your so loveable, i may be a jerk to everyone but honestly i would do anything for you it kills me to just see you and i would be too scared to approach you, i really like you" you just stood there "what the fuck" was the shit you thought i never imagined this but honestly i loved him so much more today, you walked to him, heat generating in you as you leaned to him and you placed your lips on his, he took it and embraced it, the warmth filled the room, breaking the kiss juyeon chuckled "stay with me tonight and forever please"
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hey. im sorry but i need to just. spill this because it's sorta been in my mind for a few months, not outwardly, but a feeling i finally realized when this term ended.
(a vent about myself under the cut, sorry.)
i really hate how much im separated and need to hide myself from people. even if it's something simple and dumb to hide.
like, will you believe me if i say i need to keep my love of math from all of my classmates? everyone in my class hates it, they complain all the damn time and im the only one who genuinely enjoys math (even though i get frustrated with it sometimes). everytime i say "i love algebra!" or "i love graphs!" they look at me as though i am a liar or im some sort of freak. even my friends, they tell me to shut up when i say it out loud even though i dont say anything when they say they want our math teacher to die or they complain about something i like about math. (which kinda hurts me as well lol)
i understand the dislike for math, i disliked it before, but saying you genuinely want our teacher to die just because she teaches a subject you dislike is fucking dumb. i was starting to unlearn that, but now im starting to relearn it, which isnt helping myself at all. (i really want to tell them off about it, but i dont want to also.)
there's also my love of music that i've complained here before once, i need to keep it quiet because when they hear someone likes anime or j-pop they think im a weeb that's obsessed w anime men and want to see them butt naked. i hate it. i hate when i listen to rock, i hate when i listen to metal, but i love it so much i cant. i don't even listen to music in school anymore because i feel so self conscious about it. i feel that i'll be judged at and be seen as some sort of weirdo that they'll whisper about behind my back.
there's also the glaring obvious fact that im very-gay-for-girls-but-also-a-transguy. im in an all girls school, but there are a few non-cis people here for semi obvious reasons. i dont feel comfortable being out much for obvious reasons and i feel miserable here. most of the people here are actually chill w the trans people in my school but some just love asking uncomfortable questions like why they were there instead of the boys school or about their names. it freaks me out. it scares me. it makes me want to never come out and be myself. there was this time today when i was in my business class and made my nickname for this game 'birdboy' which led to my teacher asking why i used boy rather than girl, which led to me and my friend (another non-cis person and one of the people i came out to) saying that it just flowed better and not because i was a transguy. that teacher was surprisingly chill w trans people being in her class though, she asked my friend his preferred name and started calling him that, there's also another friend of mine in that class and she's also chill w him and his name, so i think she's ok.
other than my gender, there's my sexual orientation, which im not even sure on. i like girls, girls are can be pretty and handsome, but if i said that, they would hate me for being gay(?), which is also terrible because most people in my school are homophobic, yay. i got asked once for no fucking reason and without prompt if i liked girls or boys and i fucking panicked and said i didn't like either, which led them to asking if i was straight or bi (didn't even say lesbian, smh) which i also denied because i didn't rlly liked men anyway (what they got for not saying lesbian) and also didn't want to say i was gay(?) to my entire class before a fucking we went to our social studies class. i was so fucking scared when they asked that.
like, my school is accepting of queer people and lets them wear what type of uniform they like (except for me because my mom filled out my form for me which didnt let me put my preferred pronouns and kind of uniform) but it feels so hard to believe with the amount of hate towards specifically those who aren't fem presenting. it makes me feel torn apart with if i want to be who i want to be or be hidden behind this false version of myself that ive been hiding behind for almost my entire life. i feel so terrible.
i feel so disconnected from people of my own culture as well. i suck at tagalog, i know how to talk in tagalog, but i speak like a little five year old. every time i speak to other filipino people, there's a disconnection, there's a thing i dont understand or know about my own culture. i feel like some sort of failure as a filipino person.
im better at english than tagalog, so that means i must be fine, right? no. not at all. other than the other stuff i said above, they dont use american english, the one i learned. and since i lived my entire life in the philippines, i dont know some stuff in new zealand. they get shocked when i dont know something that is pretty much so well known here, when i dont know the british equivalent of an american word or when i dont know any maori words. i feel so fucking dumb every time it happens.
i just hate how much i dont know and how disconnected i feel from the world and those around me.
#vent tw#vent cw#venting cw#venting tw#transphobia tw#transphobia cw#sorry there's probably a lot i need to tag that idk yet.#but.... eugh.#i think that's the main stuff that could trigger people#again im sorry i just needed this out of my thoughts.
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also leaving this open tagged
01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
yeah, maybe a bit strained but good
02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?
fuck I don't remember TwT
03: Do you regret anything?
yes I regret everything /hj
04: Are you insecure?
yep :/
05: What is your relationship status?
single but like I'm aroace
06: How do you want to die?
Peacefully and painlessly after I accomplish my gials
07: What did you last eat?
i think some banana bread
08: Played any sports?
nah
09: Do you bite your nails?
yes sometimes
10: When was your last physical fight?
probably not since i was a kit
11: Do you like someone?
yes? I like all of my friends
12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?
dont think so but I have pulled all nighters before
13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?
several world leaders
14: Do you miss someone?
yeah...
15: Have any pets?
yes and she's such a good girl
16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?
idk kinda meh
17: Ever made out in the bathroom?
ew no (not that people making out is gross, just me doing it would be)
18: Are you scared of spiders?
some yeah (like the venomous ones) mostly their cute though
19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
yeah
20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?
what the fuck is that lemme look it up rq
What the fuck never
21: What are your plans for this weekend?
i mean weekends ove
22: Do you want to have kids? How many?
no unless pets count her
23: Do you have piercings? How many?
no
24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?
Math and science
25: Do you miss anyone from your past
yeah
?26: What are you craving right now?
ice cream
27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
probably not
28: Have you ever been cheated on?
yet aagain: ariace
29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
✨im aroace✨
30: What’s irritating you right now?
the fucking crumbs in my chair (I will never learn)
31: Does somebody love you?
platonically? yeah. romantically? almost certainly not
32: What is your favourite color?
blue
33: Do you have trust issues?
yeah kinda
34: Who/what was your last dream about?
something about becoming a fox in some way (don't remember much)
35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?
my dad
36: Do you give out second chances too easily?
maybe
37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?
idk probably forgive
38: Is this year the best year of your life?
hell nah, I'm ✨so burnt out✨
39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?
never
40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?
no
51: Favourite food?
cant choose
52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?
almost certainly not, even if there is some higher being there is definitely some stuff that just happens
53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
draw I think
54: Is cheating ever okay?
i ddon't know???? I'm probably the last person to ask for relationship advice
55: Are you mean?
yeah I think so
56: How many people have you fist fought?
0
57: Do you believe in true love?
i mean love ccan only be a lie if you're trying to trick someone into thinking you love something or someone
58: Favourite weather?
probably when it's overcast
59: Do you like the snow?
heck yeah but my human form is not meant for being in it
60: Do you wanna get married?
no. (except maybe for tax benefits)
61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?
what about nonbianary folks huh? why not just say someone, why are you not inclusive, huh?
anyways no
62: What makes you happy?
a lor
63: Would you change your name?
abso-fucking-lutely but I have no clue what I would change it to
64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?
seriously what is up with these questions
65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
politely decline
66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?
dont see why sex matters but no I don't have any friends like that (social anxiety makes it like impossible for me to do that in person, hooray)
67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?
i ddon't know why does it matter??
68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?
probably my dad
69: Do you believe in soulmates?
idk I have no clue how people feel about each other or how relationships work
70: Is there anyone you would die for?
hell no death is horrifying
70 horrible questions ... Fuck it
01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?
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I dont know if it's because I'm autistic or didn't learn it as a kid or I'm just not putting in the effort or what, but music is one of the shittiest most overly complicated artforms I have tried to learn thus far. (Kind of became a vent post on accident, but feel free to read.)
Now i will preface this by saying that i am easily the second least disciplined person I know and when I try to "learn" how to do something I'll just look up tutorials online, quit when I dont succeed on the first couple tries, and try again sometime later (maybe). It took actual years of doing this on and off for me to learn how to knit, and not being able to understand those shitty diagrams brought me to tears more than once. I still can't even knit anything besides scarves!!
I don't care if i sound like a whiney bitch baby because I KNOW I'm a whiney bitch baby. I grew up GENUINELY thinking I was better than my peers because I was sooooooooo smart then got throat punched by long division and middle school math. (I'm pretty good at algebra now, but having to memorize all those formulas for geometry is bullshit and I STILL can't do long division lol.) I am THE most whiney little bitch baby on the face of the planet and everything i say after this is probably gonna sound so fucking stupid to anyone who took even one band class in school, and I'm okay with that.
That being said, WHAT THE FUCK??? Another thing I should probably lead with, I don't know SHIT about how music works. I feel like if someone quizzed me on my music knowledge they'd think I was fucking with them, that's how little I know. Here, I'll make a list:
The dots with lines on them are called notes
The strings on a guitar are E, A, D, G, B, and E, in that order (because elephants and donkeys grow bigger ears <3)
I know the order the do re mi's go and you start at the lowest pitch and go to the highest (relative to what, I don't know)
The main melody of a song is like the part people would map lyrics onto if it was an undertale song in the 2010's but idk if there's like a formula or method to identify it other than vibes
There's some PEMDAS shit for remembering the letters that go on each line of sheet music but don't ask me what it is
There. That's it. That is the most comprehensive list of stuff i know about music as of writing this. There's other stuff too, I guess, but it's all like "those fractions(?) next to that sexy shape at the beginning of the sheet music are time signatures, dunno what that means tho lol," so I just didn't include them.
And like,, what the fuck am i supposed to do about that?? I could find stuff online but that'll either take too long, cost actual money, or be for literal children. And like I guess a child's music lesson wouldn't be so bad seeing as I am literally below an elementary school level when it comes to this shit but FUCK ME i feel stupid enough as is. I guess I shouldn't be so harsh on myself cause like if someone were talking to one of my friends like that I'd be pissed, but that's not what this post is about. I don't wanna have someone to try and teach me this in person either cause like I said, I can get easily frustrated about this sorta stuff and I dont wanna upset someone or embarrass myself ya know?
I only wanna learn this sorta thing cause I think playing an instrument or making music on my computer using one of those programs I've seen online sounds neat!! I also just dont wanna sound like a dumbass around my friends who actually know music stuff. But I genuinely don't know a single thing about any of this and trying to learn makes me want to claw my fucking skin off and break my own bones. (I wouldn't, just so you know, but I don't think I'm exaggerating too much when it comes to wanting to. Idk feelings are hard.)
Idk man, i just need to fix myself. Whatever that means. Might make a separate post listing all the shit I don't know about music in case anyone wants to help with that. Y'all don't got to tho, just thinking about it.
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having a mome below dont worry abt it
sorry in advance but apparently tonight is a real Cannot Fucking Stand This Body Anymore kinda night. I need to get on t so goddamn bad like im terrified of it and how people will react esp like my family but that shit was always going to be complicated anyways and also I am straight up going to kms if I have to live like this for another year .lol♡ . I just. I've worked really hard since living on my own to be even close to neutral on my appearance and voice and bearing and ik its made worse bc its 4 in the morning as I'm dealing with this but its so fucking easy to backslide into the cesspit of resentment and anguish and snarling fury I have at looking and being the way I am currently. I can't stand myself and the ways I know I'm percieved there's no way I can survive the way I am much longer. And it's like being clawed apart slowly from the inside knowing that on the other side of the fear that paralyzes me is so much potential to fall in love with myself in a way I know I can barely imagine- it'll take time to mold my body into what I tentatively let myself fantasize about sure but at least it will be Something. I dont expect to become ethereal or worthy of reverence or anything so grand of course but I can't help but be feverishly consumed with hunger to know how I'll change. To know what my voice will sound like- will my register finally expand to those low growling tones and gravely rumbles that I hear in my mind sometimes when I invision some far-future version of myself? Will I finally be able to build and keep muscle, enough that I can look at my body and think this is capable and useful and will serve the purposes asked of it, instead of being just another thing to bury under pretty distractions to keep anyone from looking closer? Will I ever even get to a point that I Could let anyone look at me without feeling the need to raise my hackles or run or make excuses? Its not that I don't like decorating myself in nice clothes and jewelry and all kinds of little details, I just want so badly to believe that one day I could do it just for the fun of it and not as layers upon layers of defenses to keep myself and hopefully others from thinking about the form underneath. I'm losing the plot to all the white-out longing in my head but yeah all that to say. I wish I were able to find pride in my physical self. I wish I had a form I could think of as anything more than an inconvenience at best. This one is so selfish and will never be acted upon but I wish I were able to let myself be desired too. I wish I had the courage to make some choice, anything really, to progress towards the possibility of ever having any of that. But in the end I cower from change even ones I know will make me happier because they always risk upsetting someone and if I'm the only one left sick with anguish well. That's just basic math isn't it? Better to be the one stuck with all the suffering than being the one shattering it out in an impact crater I can't even attempt to hide is my fault. So I'll just keep not reaching out and playing down how gutwrenchingly sick I am on the daily to be living this way. And if I just tell myself enough times that it's fine, that I don't Need any of the things I want, that obviously desire is the root of suffering and as such it's only right that I abstain from even the most benign of my own, well it has to be true eventually, doesn't it?
#j.txt#vent#sui mention#god this is embarrassing. if u read all that sorry again please dont think less of me I prommy I'll be normal and fun and good by morning#simply having a little crisis about it for the time being ill stay silly i swear i will
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very few characters actually have adhd in media, and when they do, what people mean by that is just that they fidget a lot, not that they have adhd. the only character with adhd I can think of where I’ve watched/read it and I’ve gone, “oh, this character actually has adhd” is Jake peralta from Brooklyn 99. so, here’s my take on how to write adhd, with examples from Brooklyn 99.
I’ll do the best I can to separate them into three categories; the three things people look for in adults with ADHD, which are rejection sensitivity dysphoria, an interest-based nervous system, and emotional hyperarousal.
I’ll also randomly bold and italicize bits so people with ADHD can actually read it.
Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, or RSD
Rejection sensitivity dysphoria makes people with ADHD overly sensitive to criticism, even if they perceive a rejection and there actually isn’t one. Their emotions are also very strong generally. Because of RSD, people with ADHD become people-pleasers and can develop anxiety because they’re so eager to please.
For me, RSD makes me cry an embarrassing amount for any little reason. in your writing, make your characters overdramatic, criers, and/or people-pleasers. They’ll have trouble saying no. They may also be over competitive, as their perceived rejection may include losing.
how does Jake show this in b99? When Jake comes up with a catchphrase and Rosa says it’s terrible, jake is far more hurt than he should be. He hates losing, and he gets overly upset whenever someone says they don’t like him or don’t trust him, etc. he’s also a people pleaser who has trouble saying no.
An interest-based nervous system
An interest-based nervous system includes hyperfocuses and an inability to pay attention. It stems from the fact that we can’t make as much dopamine as neurotypicals. This means that while neurotypicals get dopamine after completing a task, people with ADHD don’t. That means that people with ADHD don’t have any reason to do tasks, especially those they don’t like. This leads to executive dysfunction—people with ADHD will know they have to or want to do something, but they can’t seem to do it. people with ADHD hyperfocus on things that bring them dopamine. I was obsessed with warrior cats for three years. But hyperfocuses can also last a short amount of time—I’ll have a drawing idea in the middle of class and won’t be able to concentrate on anything else before I finish it. this is where our impulsiveness comes from. we can leap into things we think will give us dopamine without thinking, which can lead to injury. We also tend to tell people personal things they don’t want to hear because of this, and don’t have very good boundaries. We sometimes say whatever comes into our head, which can also result in us being rude on accident. Our voices can also get very loud or we can interrupt people frequently because we’re so impulsive. When people with ADHD hyperfocus, they can forget about anything else. I’ll forget to eat if I’m busy reading a Wikipedia article about feminism in the 1850s, and won’t go to the bathroom or drink water either. It’s also important to note that taking away distractions doesn’t help, because we can do things like pick at our skin and daydream—something that people with ADHD do a lot of. Because of executive dysfunction, people can call people with ADHD lazy or irresponsible.
people with ADHD can also be extremely indecisive because ADHD affects our executive functioning, and making decisions requires planning and prioritizing, and task initiation, which are both executive functions!
people with ADHD also have poor memory for important things, but tend to remember random bits of trivia. Poor memory leads to object permanence problems, which means people with ADHD can forget to call a friend back for weeks, forget that they need to read library books in a closed cabinet, or forget that the vegetables they got will go bad. People can sometimes say that people with ADHD don’t care about anything because of this.
people with ADHD can also be prone to depression because of under or overstimulation. Boredom feels painful for people with ADHD. If we’re overstimulated, we can experience sensory overload—if things are too bright or too loud, if too many things are touching us at once—often it’s not because the thing is too intense, but because too many things are happening at once.
We also have something some people call dolphin brain, where we jump from one thing to another. From the outside, it looks really random, but I find that when I’m talking to another neurodivergent communication is generally easier. For instance, someone with ADHD might see a bee at a baseball field and tell their team about the time they saw whales at seaworld because their little brother was also stung by a wasp there. people will see no connection on the outside, but it makes perfect sense to the person with ADHD.
people with ADHD can also be overachievers, either because they hyperfocus on schoolwork or their RSD makes it so that failing at something isn’t an option. people with ADHD can also be very controlling and stubborn, probably because we hyperfocus on something and cant handle it being any different, and any change to our plans can be seen as rejection.
we can also have a hard time ordering our thoughts or doing stuff like math in our head. a lot of the time I number my thoughts like, 1. this reason, 2. this reason, etc. even if theres only two or sometimes I just need the 1. as a transition for my brain. when I don’t write it down or organize it like that it feels like I’m trying to grasp ropes that have been covered in oil (it’s not going to happen) and then my brain gets all jumbled and I have to restart at the beginning. this is probably just me, but it feels the same way when I’m reading long paragraphs of something uninteresting, or even short bits of historical documents because the way they phrase things is really pompous and hard to process.
also, stuff like caffeine calms us down and helps us focus. people who don’t take medication (me) often drink coffee or caffeinated sodas to focus.
another random tip, but if your character with ADHD also is genderfluid or genderflux, they might have a hard time figuring out their gender sometimes, because we can be known to have a hard time putting our feelings into words or our brains will just go, “nope, not thinking about that right now” and move on, which can be pretty frustrating.
people with adhd also have a trait called time blindness, where we have no idea how long something takes and therefore can’t manage our time very well. this often results in us being late or just sitting around the house because we got ready way too early.
we also have something called consequence blindness—we do things and are completely unaware of the consequences. if I don’t brush my teeth, I get cavities. but I don’t think about that when I’m deciding I’m too tired to brush my teeth.
in b99, jake regularly stays up all night solving cases and watches documentaries on random topics. He’s also very distractible—when they’re trying to find the person who sent Captain Holt death threats in the train yard, Jake says he and captain holt should take a train trip together sometime. Jake says that he’ll forget Amy if they don't work together because he’s like a goldfish.
Emotional hyperarousal
This is the only thing people tend to include when writing characters: the fidgeting. People with ADHD tend to need more stimulation than others, so we’ll do things like draw during class and chew on pens.
people with ADHD can also have apd, or auditory processing disorder. we tend to watch shows with subtitles on and may take a second to process what you’re saying, or hear it wrong. The subtitles thing may be partially do to creating just the right amount of stimulation, but if I don’t have subtitles, me and my other friends with ADHD will watch tv with the volume turned up very high. People with ADHD also can have a hard time interpreting other people‘s tone and have a hard time controlling their own. They can be bad at social cues and have poor manners because we don’t pick up on that stuff.
people with ADHD also tend to observe everything or nothing at any given time, mostly based on the amount of stimulation they have—if they dont have a lot in their main task, they’ll need to take in something else at the same time. Likewise, if I’m hyperfocusing on something I often don’t notice anything else, like if someone asks me a question.
in b99, Jake fidgets with things a lot. In the intro, he’s picking up and examining a figurine on his desk, likely because he was bored with paperwork or some other task.
#adhd#writing#writing adhd#brooklyn nine nine#b99#brooklyn99#Jake peralta#Adhd Jake#neurodivergent#writing tips#adhd problems#adhd misconceptions#nd#neurodivergence
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Your wish is my command My Goddess!
Startin this off, Bodyguard!Xiao would absolutely 100% be SO jealous if someone was to flirt with you well he'd be use to it since your famous but this person is particularly handsome????
Hes gonna be like a cat hes gonna pout and glare at you and huff until you acknowledge his existence.
Speaking of, i can see him leaving you gifts but never saying anything. Atp idk if I'm talking about Bodyguard!Xiao anymore but anyways!
He would sneak you gifts onto your desk, table, whatever is there he will put it there he wont say anything he's just gonna go "Oh, your welcome." If you say thank you Xiao. It could be for literally anything and he would still say your welcome.
I CANT GET OVER ONE THING ABT XIAO THO
He has so much potential for angst and i can feel it.
I can see Xiao as the kid who gets bullied for being academically smart but his other siblings are smarr and well versed in sports and activities. Hes the anti social emo kid who wears hoodies and blasts his music (not really angsty!xiao would rather keel over) through his headphones and not have many friends.
I CAN however see him get one friend. And this is purely for funny moments but Tartaglia would friend him unironically. I love the intorvert adopted by extrovert trope and those two fit that role well.
Childe just sitting next to Xiao after a few weeks and suddenly best friends??? Sign me up. Childe recongizing Xiao beyond his academic intelligence and Xiao feeling appreciated??? Sign me up. Childe ACTUALLY not using him for projects and to do homework like many of Xiao's "friends"???? Sign me up.
The whole Xiao and Childe dynamic has potential and wanna what help has potential? Hu Tao and Xiao
Now this? Wouldnt happen unless you tied Xiao up and locked him in the closet w Hu Tao for a week.
Now listen how did they meet?? Simple.
Hu Tao pranked Xiao on accident by putting something in his locker and ruined has his stuff and Xiao was just "��Um." The entire time and Hu Tao, being the lovely person she is, did it again why not. I can see her being a prankster, but after awhile Hu Tao would have to end up buying Xiao's notebooks that get water damaged or burnt by something and end up giving him notes but helloooo???? GIVING HIM NOTES?????? He already memorized every math formula why is she giving HIM NOTES????
Hes so shocked he doesnt know what to do so he just goes with it. And now oh would you look at that Hu Tao is now taking him out for Boba and rambling about her favorite show. I can see Xiao not knowing anything about Boba, or just the outside world. His caregivers werent harsh on him, he just wanted to be seen by them like his older siblings :( he just wanted that validation. Know who gives it to him? Hu Tao and Childe.
"Xiao your so cool!" As he absolutely owns them in paintball?? Hes smiling so hard.
"Xiao how did you know the answer? I couldnt even get it your so smart!" After he answered a hard essay question hes literally shaking with happiness.
My boy just wants to be seen :((((
Back for a little bit of angst, Xiao wouldnt tell them he feels left out sometimes or how he gets drained. He wouldnt tell them about anything or how he feels he made it this far why would he?
I can see his siblings especially if theyre older constantly teasing him, they dont know it but they gant up on him and practically bully him into hiding his room and not coming out. Not projecting i swear
SLEEPOVERS AT CHILDE OR HUTAO'S???
Horror movies, staying up late and eating junk food? Challenges and even going to walmart at 3:30 when Xiao is hyped up on energy drinks speeding down the aisles in carts giggling and laughing past the cameras and workers who're too tired because "dammit they do this every weekend we cant kick them out"
My Goddess i hope i delivered what you asked for!
-🪶
i'm getting blessed today!!! thank you so much, i really had a blast reading through this my dear fischl anon <3 all the brainrot is under the cut hehe it escalated a bit just a tiny bit lmao
jealous and protective bodyguard!xiao, yes please. he will stare everyone down who tries to flirt with you AND is very handsome. not even five minutes in and he will be like "excuse you, but back tf off." he will do it immediatly when he notices you don't really feel comfortable... and he will be a bit more agressive 👀
bodyguard!xiao gets a certain reputaion... he is a bloody good bodyguard, very protective of his clients and their privacy. you bet everyone wants him as their bodyguard (especially when he's handsome as well)
also the gifts... asdkfubhd- he will leave all his gifts at the places he knows you will see them, watching with a small smile how you eagerly open his gifts (sue him, you really look cute when you get all excited and happy about little things)
he will spoil tf out of you, gift you with the most lavish gifts, oh and if you like his cooking, yeah, well he will always cook a full ass menu for you, just to enjoy your blissful face when you take the first bite of his heavenly food.
just... xiao. also the little cat comment made me think about cat!xiao, like,,, hybrid, like just... cat and fluffy tail and perky ears and purring xiao...
xiao is born, breed, made, created for angst. have you seen his lore?? like, come on, angst is his second third name.
okay, childe and xiao friendship. we love and we need this rn. xiao gets bullied by the jocks and it's acutally his elder siblings fault,,, because well,, they are a jock too and started teasing him. not many realize they are siblings, and since older sibling is quite popular, everyone else started teasing bullying him too. xiao swallows all the bitterness, not wanting to call his siblings out because he still loves them!! but sometimes... sometimes they don't realize he's hurting.
anti social!xiao. emo!xiao. introvert!xiao just... xiao. he is the weird loner of the school, but not quite?? like, he's smart and does so well in school and not to mention, he is handsome. not that many would admit that. but there was a time where xiao wore eyeliner before everything went downhill and some really miss those times... but they would never admit it.
he doesn't really have friends until childe comes along. and childe is a social butterfly. he is friends with the whole school but not really, he is outgoing, quite smart too and just funny to be around. he can be a jerk sometimes, but aren't we all sometimes too? he befriends xiao first for a selfish reason, hoping he would get a bit of quiet from all the noise in his life. but then he realizes how he enjoys xiao's company and sticks around.
later, when they're really thick and probably somthing like best friends, childe will admit that to xiao and they almost have a fallout
and when hu tao comes around? yeah well, prepare for chaos. childe and hu tao go along so well and you bet after a while, when Xiao feels comfortable enough, he will try and curb their chaos. not that he succeds.
hu tao still feels bad sometimes about how much she ruined from xiao's stuff, which is why she started spoiling him. she is well off, probably from a rich family, just like childe. they will spoil all the sadness and angst from xiao away
you bet hu tao is the reason why xiao now has a starbucks and bubble tea addiction this is how he meets other friends, on his own but that's for another time
yk what, with anti social and introvert xiao... gamer!xiao. what is he even doing the whole time in his room? yeah well, of course he studies, but he can't study the whole ass time and this is how he slowly became a gamer. not that many know that
but after hu tao and childe find out, you bet they will buy him a whole ass aesthetic streamer set up, even tho he doesn't stream but maybe in the future they want him happy, and all those little games make him happy. especially when he now can play with real friends, not only those people who he met online.
thanks to hu tao and childe he comes out of his shell, dressing up a bit (xiao has style. he just has a style not everyone would approve. war core/dark and tech wear. he has style and the clothes, just not the confidence wearing it) and even putting his eyeliner back on (you bet he suddenly becomes the crush of so many people)
hu tao and childe are confident people, and he somehow has to keep up. he finds his confidence once again (if we want to make this especially angsty, he was a very confident, if a bit silent child. but his family and all the teasing/bullying made him lose his confidence)
oh and if we want to create more plot, childe is a somewhat well known influencer and hu tao hops on that train too. it's easy for them to gain more followers and reach, and the extra money is certainly welcome. xiao ponders if he should start doing this too, but somehow... he's not really comfortable with that. he wants to do this in his own way. (que, xiao being the 'unreachable, mystery, but lovable and gorgeous influencer)
but he starts with streaming first, his fan base grows fast because,,, xiao is so calm, he loves all the games he plays and is so passionate about it!! he is an avid animal crossing player, always building and creating on his island and proudly showing it off to his viewers. they praise him and shower him with compliments, and he always gets all shy and blushy and you bet they will coo over him and only make things worse better
hu tao and childe just proudly show off xiao's achievements in their social media, talking about xiao and what an awesome friend he is, how smart he is and everything.
now i want cracked gamer!xiao, who looks nothing like it, but will absolutely destroy you in CoD, Val, LoL and all the other games. he is well known in the gamer community and you bet he has many admirers. okay but what about professional gamer!xiao-
okay okay, i got a bit distracted- but,,, SLEEP OVERS!!! yes omfg, yes, just yes. xiao loves energy drinks, but they get expensive if you drink so much like him. but with hu tao and childe as his walking wallets, nothing can stop his addiction. he has so much energy in this small body and childe loves to create more chaos and just gives him more. hu tao just giggling and filming all the chaos xiao creates (because that's so rare!! it's always her or childe) and never deleting it.
hhhh- all of them sleeping in these big ass beds hu tao and childe have, piling up and smacking each other while sleeping, but not caring. both hu tao and childe love cuddling, and xiao is always their victim. what if... touch starved!xiao
they would go to McDonalds at midnight, get like 60 chicken nuggest and 7 burgers, eat it on there or take the whole food with them home, talking and giggling the whole time and having to eat the food cold.
just the whole group dynamic with them would be so whole some and i'm here for it!!! like,,, AHHHH i mean come on!!!!
okay, this became longer than i intended and i got distracted, but holy shit. xiao brainrot <33
thank you so much for sending this big, long ask about xiao and his brainrots <333
#genshin impact#genshin#genshin xiao#genshin hu tao#genshin childe#xiao#hu tao#childe#tartaglia#xiao brainrot#hu tao brianrot#childe brainrot#tartaglia brainrot#xiao + hu tao + childe = chaos#🌚 knowing moon#✨ star dust#⭐️ 🪶.star
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I was curious if you’d be up for headcanon of adopting Gabi Braun, or what it’s like being her older sibling?
If not maybe just Pieck relationship headcanons
Please and thank you
im so sorry im getting to this so late 😭🤚 ty for requesting ‼️
‼️CONTENT WARNING: SPOILERS FOR SEASON 4 AND CHAPTER 139‼️
adopting gabi braun headcanons (canonverse)
characters: gf!sasha braus x gn!reader, platonic!gabi braun x gn!reader, fatherly!levi ackerman x gn!reader, platonic!falco grice x gn!reader
warnings: death, angst, hatred for kids (fuck them kids‼️), peepaw levi 😁👍
- uhhhhhh,, your relationship w gabi had a very rocky start. Lol !
- it all started when your friend eren jaeger decided to run away to infiltrate marley causing the survey corps to go get him just as a war was declared between your countries, and then two kids snuck onto the airship you were using to escape and shot your girlfriend. and she died. Lol !
- you had a lot of hatred for gabi in the beginning, and it was understandable
- you blamed her for shooting sasha, but you also blamed yourself for not being able to save her.
- you were a trained medic, you were supposed to save people, and yet you couldnt even save the woman you loved. it was like a slap in the face, like god was playing some cruel joke on you
- you remember sitting against the wall with sasha's blood staining your hands. you could barely process what happened at the time, and then levi came
- he sat next to you, taking a handkerchief out of nowhere seemingly, and just wordlessly wiped your hands down.
- your relationship with the older man was never defined, even today, but you both cared for each other
- the next time you saw gabi, was in that restaurant, niccolo had attacked gabi and falco, injuring them both, and said she killed sasha
- your blood went cold, you felt so many things, the grief you had pushed down in favour of your job, anger, fear, among other things
- niccolo had said there needed to be justice, he said that gabi should die for what she did, he tried to get sasha's father to kill her, and all you did was stand there.
- your body went on autopilot, barely listening to mr. braus' speech, you watched as kaya pointed a knife at gabi, and you listened to her wails of agony as you blindly led mikasa, armin, and gabi to a different room
- you were scared of yourself, for what you were thinking. did you really want a kid to die ? she did kill your girlfriend, the woman you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, the woman that shared her food with you, the woman that held you when you got scared at night, the woman that promised you that after the war you two would live on a farm together, and have a family of your own.
- but she was still a child. she didnt know any better. you were conflicted in your feelings, especially after hearing what niccolo had said, but it all just emphasized what was already known to you. she was a child
- your blood was pounding in your ears, and you could faintly hear gabi asking your comrades if they wanted to kill her. when armin reassured her they didnt, she looked to you and asked "what about them ?"
- you didnt answer her, and continued to lead them down where eren would be meeting you all. you were supposed to drop them off, but eren made you stay, and then a fight broke out
- you dont remember when you did it, but you held gabi in your arms, shielding her from the fight. you think you needed to be held more than she did
- things got more complicated after that, and slowly the hatred you had for sasha's killer went away, until all you had left was a hole in your chest from guilt and sadness.
- at fort salta, you thought you were going to die there, next to your friends. you thought you'd become a mindless titan, like connie's family
- but you didnt, well you did, but only for a short time, and when you turned back, you reunited with your friends
- looking around for gabi, you saw her tackle falco into a hug, which made you smile
- "y/n !" jean called, you remember looking behind you in confusion, he sounded distressed, but you understood why when you saw sasha saluting the three of you
- you felt your legs move on your own, and you ran closer to her, before stopping about a meter away. she was dead, you knew she was dead, but she was there, wearing that goofy smile on her face and looking at you as if you'd hung the stars in the sky
- she looked at you. "you did good." hearing her voice felt like a dream. your mouth felt dry, and your jaw opened and closed like a fish before you felt tears sting your eyes. "i love you."
- she nodded, before looking at the sky. "i know." she replied. sasha looked back at you before giving you a soft smile. "you know what to do now." before she disappeared in the debris
- you knew what to do, so you did it
- you found levi sitting against a rock, and when you leaned down next to him he muttered something. "i saw erwin again. and hange. all of them." you nodded. "i saw sasha." he looked at you, and gave you the closest thing to a smile. "i guess we're both at peace now."
*****
- three years later, you've become a school teacher in paradis, teaching young children how to read, to write, and basic math. you teach them about art and music, and nature. its nice being surrounded by children all day, kids are lovely.
- you live with gabi, falco and levi, in a small house inside wall sina. levi's legs have gotten weaker with time, causing him to use a wheelchair and crutches. he's given up on his dream of a tea shop, but is content with the life he has now.
- gabi and falco have gotten more rowdy with age, but they've both matured quite a bit. they make you proud
- you send letters to sasha's family. kaya is growing up, and has taken over archery just like her sister. niccolo is living with them now.
- you'll never be able to let go of sasha, or what happened to her, but the pain in your chest has dulled immensely. you think about her sometimes, when youre in bed alone, wanting to feel the warmth of her body in your arms, you know you should move on, you get teased about not having a new girlfriend, even levi has made comments about there being "plenty of fish in the sea"
it was a late night, on a friday. you were grading spelling tests at the dining room table, one lone candle being your source of light. your pen moves swiftly across the different pieces of paper, adding check marks or x marks when needed, adding a note at the bottom of each test, before adding a smiley face on all of your students' hard work. it was tedious, but it needed to be done, and you had to remember to bring them in on monday, you couldn't forget like last time.
you heard footsteps coming down the stairs. they were soft, and slow, and at first you thought it was levi but realized it couldn't be since you couldn't hear the soft tapping of his crutches on the stairs. they came down to the bottom and stood there, it was gabi, dressed in a light pink nightgown that came down to her knees, and her disheveled hair in the braid you did for her before bed.
you pushed your reading glasses to the top of your head. "what are you doing up ? it's late."
she shrugged, and walked over to sit across from you at the table. gabi grabbed the stack of papers that you already graded and shuffled through them, giggling when she found a misspelling.
you rolled her eyes. "don't laugh, they're six."
she shook her head. "i was spelling ten times better than this when i was their age."
"uh huh."
"are you calling my bluff ?"
you chuckled. "maybe. you should be in bed though."
"why ? it's not like we have school tomorrow."
you shrugged. "i was thinking we could go on a picnic outside the walls. it gets stuffy in here."
she nodded. "that would be fun."
the silence came back for a while, until you finished grading and set your papers aside.
"you know, i hear you sometimes." she whispered.
you looked at the brunette in confusion. "how do you mean ?"
"when your in bed, sometimes you cry."
you scoffed, and leaned back in your chair. "yeah well, i try to muffle it."
"i don't think ive ever apologized to you," she started. her eyes welled up with tears and her hands shook on the table. her cheeks and nose became pink as she held herself back from crying. "i know i feel bad, and i regret killing her but, i've never actually apologized to you for-"
"don't." you said. you kept your eyes on your lap, you felt your throat growing tight. "please gabi, don't say anything."
"i need to apologize-"
"you don't. you killed her. she's dead, the war is over. it's done. just let it go." you said, your voice wavering.
"have you let it go ?"
your head shot up to her. "i lost the woman i was going to spend the rest of my life with. she promised me a safe home, a farm, and a family. and she promised we'd grow old together. and that didn't happen. i grew up with her, i've known her since i was twelve, we started dating when i was sixteen. of course i haven't let it go, gabi."
gabi looked shocked by your outburst, but nodded. she understood how you felt, and she felt so guilty. "you don't forgive me do you ? i get it, i really do. i'm sorry."
you shook your head. "gabi no, i do. i do forgive you. i just, i can't forget it." you whimpered, tears started streaming down your face and you choked back a sob. "i loved her with all of my heart, i still do, but i don't hate you-"
gabi rolled her eyes, tears coming out uncontrollably now. "you should. i killed her, i ruined your chance of a happy life ! she was your family and i-"
"gabi no !" you exclaimed, cutting her off. at this point you both looked like a mess, and you were worried you woke up the boys. you grabbed her shaking hands in your own and held them to you. "you are my family. you are. so is falco, and so is levi. i forgive you, and i love you with all of my heart." you said, a sad smile on your face. her eyes widened at your words, before she started sobbing.
you got up from the table to come to her side, and held her in your arms as she cried. her arms wrapped around your shoulders while she dug her head into your neck, tickling you with her hair.
you rubbed her back and cradled her head while shushing her. she sobbed out a muffled "i love you so much y/n." that you chuckled at.
"i love you too so much." you whispered back.
it took a long time for gabi to calm down, but when she did you still held her, rocking her and yourself back and forth slightly. you two moved from the chairs down to the floor, funny enough.
you kissed the top of her head before talking, the only noise in the room being your whispers, her sniffles and the living room clock. "you know reiner's coming home soon. are you excited ?" she nodded against your skin and sniffled again, clearing her throat too.
"i hope he brings me a gift or something." she whispered back, her voice hoarse. it made you laugh, and you had to cover your mouth to keep quiet.
"they're going to shiganshina district for a couple of days, to visit mikasa and eren, and then mikasa will come with them to the capital."
"do you miss her ?" she asked.
"so much. i miss all of them, but mikasa is a close friend of mine, she holds a special place in my heart."
"do you think you and levi will go to the meetings between the marley ambassadors and the jaegerists ?" she asked.
"maybe, if they feel as though they really need us."
you sighed through your nose, which was a bit stuffy from crying. "after we turned back into humans, i saw sasha again."
gabi lifted her head up from where it was resting on your shoulder. "what ?"
"yeah, i saw her ghost i think." you looked down on her with a smile on your face. "she told me i knew what i needed to do, and then i went and got levi and you and falco." you paused for a moment, thinking about how you would word what you were thinking. "i did what i needed to do, i got my family together." gabi's eyes widened. "sasha promised me a family, and although this wasn't the family i had envisioned, it's still a family nonetheless. i believe her last gift to me was you, falco, and levi. and i am so grateful to have you all in my life."
gabi smiled before hugging you. she opened her mouth to say something-
"oi !" a deep voice came from the top of the stairs. "you two woke me up with all of your crying. go to bed." before your heard the creaking of the floorboards and the closing of a door.
you chuckled before standing up, pulling gabi with you. you walked her to her room, and even tucked her in, you both exchanged 'i love yous' and 'goodnights' before you retreated from her bedroom, closing the door behind you.
across the hall, levi stood leaned on his doorway with his arms crossed together. "that family speech, that was cute." he commented. you rolled your eyes at the older man. "were you listening in on a private conversation ?" you teased.
the ex-captain scoffed and looked away. "go to bed y/n. we have a picnic to go on tomorrow." before closing his door.
you chuckled to yourself, remembering how you brought up the idea to him that morning, and he only replied with a curt "we'll see" before sipping on his morning tea.
you went back to your own room, and got into your bed. you turned on your side, and looked at the space you always left open for sasha, and brushed your hand against the pillow.
"goodnight love."
uhhhhh doesnt feel like my best work but whatevs 😁👍 enjoy my comeback to tumblr 🤩🙏
requests open mfs ‼️
#attack on titan#attack on titan fanfiction#attack on titan x reader#erwin smith#hange zoe#levi ackerman#levi ackerman x reader#levi x gn!reader#sasha braus#sasha blouse#sasha braus x reader#sasha blouse x reader#niccolo aot#falco grice#gabi braun#gabi x falco#chapter 139
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Author's Notes ♡: Hey Hey, it’s me, ya girl and I’m back with another collab! Ive always loved the roommates theme and have a few ideas for some other ones in my head making this. It’s kinda all over the place because it was a professing with their friendship! Yes I made a Zelda reference and I land about it no. I know Rapp is seen as violent and dense but but this is in a collage au so he’s just a bit...aloof I just love the idea of him actually being a big softie ʕ⊙ᴥ⊙ʔ. I hope you enjoy! ~ bunny ❥
Warnings : NSFW!!! (◎_◎;)
Sweet caring sorta himbo(meh?) Rappa, female oral, Big Dick Rappa , sorta size kink if you really sqint,cheater ex mentioned like once , language
Word count : About 5k! Yikes ^^’
Paring(s) : Kendo Rappa x F! Reader
Enjoy ♡
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Having Kendo Rappa as a roommate is an interesting feat in itself. He is big, and loud , very very loud. He wasn't a bad roommate he just..was like a cute large and fluffy puppy that didn't know his size...or power. Their interactions started as the two met during a halloween party one of the frat houses down the street thew. [ ] went as Midna, her best friend Rumi was dressed as Impa while the last two of her friend group , Amaya and Asa, a pair of sisters, were dressed as fairies. “[ ]! Rumi! you two are so cute! Zelda costumes?” Asa asked as her sister ran up to admire their outfits. “Yeah! [ ] wanted to do some characters that matched us y'know?” She said as she nudged her quiet friend , the girl jumped and laughed , scratching her neck as she gave the excited sisters a small smile “If i was coming out tonight I was gonna wear what i wanted to really wear” [ ] said as the group of them laughed and mingled with their other friends and classmates. While heading to get juice , she heard loud screaming , as the sport boys were starting to show up. First was the football team, then the basketball. Baseball and wrestling came next, then the smaller clubs finished them out. Sighing [ ] was content away from everyone as she watched mayhem ensure, chugging of barrels , more music, girls swarming around the players they crushed on as they did minor things, like talk to their teammates or eating from one of the big food trays laying around. Feeling a tap on her shoulder broke her from her people watching, Rumi giving her a bright smile as she took a cup and joined her. “How's my favorite antisocial babe doing now that all of the party has arrived?” She asked as [ ] gave her a pained smile, going to get more if something to drink “Well I don't feel the need to smack anyone is that a good sign?” she chuckled as she got a hug from the more energetic girl “That's my girl! Don't worry, i wanna get out asap but we’re gonna need our favourite pair of sisters before that can happen and it seems like they're fawning over some of the baseball boys as we speak” Rumi said as they watched a familiar tutu of blue go by, followed by a pink one going a similar way. “I don't get it… but at least their taste in men isn't too bad” [ ] joked as Rumi agreed , laughing “Yeah miss tsundere, you can't stand saps, or most of the jocks either” giving the white haired girl a look she rolled her eyes and gave her own laugh back “Yeah I guess i'm either picky or just got high standards” “Ain't nothing wrong with that we all do!” She said as she elbowed the girl beside her.
As the two of them sat there and talked Rumi glanced past her and her eyes widened, causing [ ] to stop talking “What is it-” before she could question her, the white haired girl jumped up, waving at someone “Rap! Over here!” Constantly yelling to someone [ ] started to ask again when a booming voice came from above her “HEY RUMI” a very loud voice called as stomping could be heard before it stopped “I see you took our idea huh?” With that comment [ ] turned around only to be face to face with a dark cover chest, only to then look up to some of the most warm and amber colored eyes looking down at her “Hello there little lady, I like your costume! Erm..Midna aint it?” The giant ganon dressed man questioned as all she could do was shake her head in agreement, causing the giant male to laugh “Awe don't be shy of me kitten i ain't gonna bite!” He chuckled some more as her friend jumped in “I told you she was shy! Be nice Rappa!” Rumi yelled at the flaming red head as he gave her a toothy grin “Oh I was just teasin’ , I bet I ain't hurt her feelin’s did I sweetheart?” Rappa questioned as [ ] face felt hot, hiding her face in her hands as the teasing duo laughed causing the girl to huff “I'm tired of you two already” She said as a giant warm hand touched her shoulders “Awe dont be like that hun, in time ya’l love me” Rappa teased as he gave her a smile,making her stomach flutter “Yeah! This is who wanted you to meet anyway [ ]! This is Kendo Rappa, our top wrestling boy, Rappa this is my adorable best friend [ ]!” Rumi said as the two gave each other a shy smile , a sly one creeping up on Rumis as she thought to herself “Yeah, this'll definitely happen”
Since then the two had become more acquainted , having many classes together and sharing some similar friends [ ] was used to the bruting and sometimes dense man making a random ( and loud) appearance. As [ ] sat in her mostly empty room thanks to her last roommate moving out after constantly breaking sound rules and getting into it with the girl downstairs for being in her bed with her boyfriend (Yikes) she felt a sense of calm. Closing her chemistry book and letting out a relieved sigh [ ] thought about the fact she was going to get a new roommate, the thought was nerve wracking but also it was exciting as well. It was almost too quiet , having the last room by the stairs meant she didn't have to deal with many people besides her friend group. They weren't loud , unless one of her friends decided to get laid and made way too many sounds, or if their neighbors under them threw parties or also had...extra partners coming around. She definitely could feel she was sorta excited she was going to have a roommate again. The sisters had a room to the left of her while Rumi had the one to the right, sharing it with a girl they knew from math. The rooms were not gender defined, some girls having rooms with guys and vise versa so it made it easy to get a room.
These dorms were also quite spacious, the walls not paper thin and a large enough area space that could house two or maybe even three people. So when she heard a knock on her door she expected it to be her new roommate she was advised would come today. Happily opening the door she was shocked and almost terrified to see just a box, well actually a few boxed stacked hiding whoever it was behind them. But if the faed rustic orange hair and wide shoulders meant anything she knew her new roommate already “K-kendo?” [ ] said as the boxes walked by her , landing with a soft thud as bangs covered the male “[ ]? Is that you?” moving his hair out of the way their eyes had the same expression, shocked. “Uh h-hey there sweetheart why isn't this cute, we’re roomies hun?” he laughed as she couldn't help but give him a smile back. “I never expected to see you as my roommate” [ ] teased as Rappa gave her a hardy laugh “Well it looks like me and you are gonna be close friends here darlin’!” With a wide smile he picked her up and gave her a tight hug, taking her breath away ‘ Oh boy i wonder how this will turn out’ she thought as she was eye leve with her giant puppy like friend, his eyes filled of joy
Which leads into now, [ ] trying her hardest to read up on what her next project could be. As she sat there thinking she heard the tale tell sound of her roommate entering with some of his teammates, the boys loud and rambunctious as they entered. Feeling a heavy hand on her shoulder she looked up to the towering boy that was her roommate, his eyes just as bright as usual. “Hey darlin, we're just gonna talk up sum strats a for the upcoming match and play some games in the back , is that alright?” He asked with pleading eyes as one of his more cocky and jock like friends spoke up “Well youre the man here, dont let some women say if we cant or can be here” Rolling her eyes and proceeding to stand up and push past the wide eyed boy who knew what was going to happen. [ ] took in a breath before opening her eyes to look up to the boy “Well it is my room, i pay shit here and the man over there didnt get this place, so i do choose who can and cant come through my place” She said as she pointed a finger to the boys chest. Trying to push his luck he pushed back against her finger “ I bet you just haven’t gotten a good enough dicking for you to just stay out of the way” He laughed. Before [ ] could hit him hard enough her rust haired friend moved in , clearly towering the boy “Yer better watch yer mouth, she has her right around here, im invatin her space so watch it before there's no place for any of us to relax without rules” He said as the boy sucked up any laughing and nodded his head in understanding. Surprised by her usually aloof roommate [ ] stood back and went back to her work, the other boys scrambling behind kendo as the boy who tried to challenge her jumped to follow, never making a move to mock or do anything again.
The boys picked back up and were having fun in the back room of kendo’s , sighs and groans when they lost and victorious laughs and screams if someone won. Once they all left and everything settle to a quiet rumble as the last few funneled out [ ] could here herself think, reading up on chemistry as she felt a presence behind her. “ ‘M sorry, i didn't know my question wouldve cause a roar outta ya..” Kendo started as she smiled gently, turning to face the wounded boy “Its okay….guess it just lit something in me i always did y'know?” She said with a small laugh as she went to type again, but was stopped by the hulking boy. “I gotta make it up to ya alright? I know i aint say anythin that he did but…. It feels like my fault y'know?” He admitted as his large hand covered hers. “You wont live this down will you?” She questioned as his eyes flickered up to hers, sparking. “Nope, not at all. Lemme treat ya right okay?” For such innocent words [ ] couldnt help the shiver that ran down her back at his words. Maybe it was because he was so close, or that the smell of his cologne was too much, either way her head was spinning as she let him still hold her hand as he tugged her away from her computer , his smile widening as she reluctantly shut the bright screen “Great! Now let's get something to eat im starvin” He rasped out as [ ] gave him a giggle that made the boy stop in his tracks. He always thought she had a cute giggle but this one,for some reason , made his heart and chest feel warm and tight. Ignoring the feeling he took the girl with him, the two headed out to get something to eat as they headed down , the sound of her giggling still running though kendos mind.
Getting a random frantic text from Kendo wasn't unusual, in fact it was quite common for him to do such, which now didn't faze [ ] at all but this one was...particularly odd giving what he was asking ‘Hair? And messy? What in the world is he up to’ [. ] thought to herself as she headed to her shared room with the boy, nervous of what scene she could be entering.
Sighing after his last text she hurried her way to their dorm room and in fact he did leave the door open, making her more nervous as she entered the living room. “Kendo?” [ ] called out as she heard a gruff sound come from her bathroom. Entering was a sight of its own; towels, a bowl of some..substance , bags and bottles of body wash and a one flustered and shirtless Kendo. “[ ]! ‘M so glad yer home here take this” The large man said as he handed her an old toothbrush that was frayed and covered with the same odd substance in the bowl. The lingering smell from the room eventually gave it away ; shampoos. “Uh why do i need this? And why is there shampoo on a toothbrush” She questioned as he groaned, taking the towel off his head as she blinked owlishly at his very faded red orange hair, the color now more of a neon pumpkin. Shaking off extra water caused even more of his hair to fall, landing between his shoulder blades as he gave [ ] a desperate look. “It wont come out, and the more i scub the more...orange i become. I look like a orange peel” He whined as [ ] figured out what he was trying to do
“ You wanna remove the color right? A bowl of shampoo and body wash isnt strong enough” Going into their kitchen she grabbed some baking soda and lemon juice , coming back to the hopeless boy “Let me mix something up ive used before okay? Then we can proceed with your hair” Two and a half hours later the boys hair was now a light peachy orange, just light enough to take up with bleach “Well, if were gonna go for blonde ill go get some bleach and some masks, deep conditioners too, your hair is definitely gonna need it and I don’t want it breaking off because you're impatient to take care of it” she sighed as he was amazed at his hair, running a large hand through the still damp mess atop his head “Wow yer good” He said as she smiled at him, taking her keys “And you have a lot of hair. I'll be back” She said as she hopped up “Wait! Lemme go with you?” He asked but also seemed to demand, pleading eyes looking down at hers as wet hair dropped onto his still bare chest.
Trying not to be hypnotized by where they landed and proceeded to slide down she looked up at her amber eyed friend, who was staring intently as he waited for her answer, soft “Please?” coming from his lips. Sighing dramatically on purpose [ ] laughed at him, giving him a grin “of course you can you big puppy” she said as he picked her up in a hug, a gesture that shows his excitement she's come to learn. Putting her down he went to go to the door before his friend called him out “uhm Kendo? You don’t have on a shirt” she said plainly as he looked at her, raising a brow as he gave his rebuttal “Its hot” He responded. Giving him a side eyed look she turned from him and towards their bedrooms, [ ] sliding into his. Soon she came out with a sleeveless one, throwing it at the hulk of a guy infront of her “You can't come in the store without one” She said as he gave a growl of his own, sliding the shirt over his head as they left their apartment “Well at least ya got me one without sleeves” He huffed as they started back to the door, heading out to finally go to the store to start another process on Kendos hair, the male just excited to finally get rid of his pumpkin hair.
As Kendo sat in the shared living room with [ ] , deep conditioning his hair at her yelling request (‘If you dont re nourish it before you want me to bleach it , I won't do it!’ ) he watched his roommate and now his best friend wanderer around and do housley things for their apartment, the girl content as she cleaned and sorted out things in the kitchen, her body turned away from him as he started to think over how beautiful he thought she was. He want the type to brag or gloat about having so many girls comment on his size , height wised and well sometimes other ways , trying to tempt him to them. All while his friends wanted him to explain how he got the attention from the other gender , Kendo hated to admit it but ,he only wanted his roommates' affection. He knew how put together she was, smart and kind. He saw what her previous boyfriend did, a cheater that didnt take care of the beautiful soul he lived with. He couldnt stand seeing her come home and cry herself to sleep broke his heart, and when he fought the cheater, in the act he didnt feel bad once. Of course it ended their relationship, and [ ] yelled at him for fighting , explaining how he couldve ended in jail for fighting her ex, but he argued it would be worth it.
Sitting and mulling over everything he realized Rumi was right, hed do anything for [ ] but not the same for the other females that passed through his life. She actually, was the first person he did that for and that thought made his head dizzy. Moving from his place on the couch he went to stand in the kitchen, waiting for [ ] to come back from her room. Hearing the iconic sound of her feet pittering across the wooden floor he gave her a lopsided smile as she jumped, smacking into the chest of Kendo. Before [ ] could fall from impacting with his chest he caught her, holding her arm to his chest. “K-kendo! You shouldve told me you were in here! Why are you in here anyway?”[ ] scolded as he laughed, moving out of the shorter girl's way as he started his staring again, this time [ ] noticed him “......What?” She asked as he looked down at her, an unreadable look on his face. “Kendo” she called as he hummed, moving closer “Yer gorgeous” Kendo blurted out as [ ] started to stutter, eyes going wide. Taking teo steps forward he essentially trapped his friend between the corner of their kitchen canopy. “Remember when I fought that bastard of an ex you had?” Kendo asked as he saw [ ]’s eyes go soft , shaking her head “What about him...i'm still mad you almost lost everything just to fight him yknow” she huffed as he poked her cheek “Id do it again if it meant you'd be happy again yaknow” Kendo said as he leaned down to push his head against hers, amber and [ ] eyes mingling. Lifting his large hands he traced each side of her cheek, analyzing over her face as he nuzzled against her nose “Stop playin hard to get would ya? Bad enough you got my heart all in your little hands” he whispered as [ ] just started at the giant , her arms gently coming over to cover his that were place on her cheeks “K-ken..i need to start you hair..” She hopelessly try to argue as he groaned, burying his face into her neck. Squealing at his damp hair touching her shoulder [ ] jumped ,pushing the large boy back “Your hair's wet!” She whined as he chuckleed, mo\ving back as it turned into a booming laugh “Oh my ‘m sorry babe , you look surprised” He said as she smacked hsi chest “Go to the sink, i need to rinse the conditioner” She yelled as he hwld his hands up in a mocked surrender, pulling his shirt up and off in one fluid movement. Caught up by him stripping his shirt off [ ] gave him a glance over, the heaviness of him admitting feelings for her in his own unique way still lingering in her mind as the toned and strong back of her friend made her head hazy. Turning around from the lack of notice of his smaller friend Kendo caught the eys of [ ] staring, her eyes quickly flickering to his curious ones as he grinned “See somethin you like darlin?” He teased as she grunted, reaching up to push his head in the sink “Shut up and let me do your hair”
And like clockwork, Kendo rappa was an icy blonde after two days, a break given to his long ,thick and wavy hair, the giant boy looking over his new look as he sighed happily, loving to have his hair finally look normal. “Well damn [ ]! Ya made it even better than what i was thinking. Look! My hair’s all wavy at the ends and it's soft! Whatever you made me do made it feel better!” He raved as the girl looked over her work. And in fact it was highly even, his hair consistent and lavishy soft. Giving him a shy look she giggle “That's what a deep conditioner will do to damage hair and the way i'm always untangling your hair for you, i knew it would need it before you wanted to go white” She said as he just kept running his hands in his hair, turning back to her “I could just kiss you right now!” He blurted out as they both froze at his words, eyes wide from both parties “I-I aint mean it [ ]” He croaked out as she giggled, stepping back from him “O-of course you didnt, why would you i mean aha..”She said as she moved away more , his own words started to hit him as he realized the reverse effect it was having “NO! No, I'd want to kiss you, I really really want to. I just...want it to be on your terms okay?” he said as he grabbed her arm, holding her in front of him as if she'd float away if he didnt.
“Kendo...I..” [ ] started as she came back to his hip, laying between his legs onto his thankfully covered chest “I just dont want to lose you if you decide you wouldnt want me around” She whispered as he pulled her even closer, kissing her forehead as he stared at her “Dont you ever say that again ya hear me? Youll be my princess and ill be your humble er..knight” He hesitated as he tried to think of a sweet way to explain his feelings. [ ] looked up to him as she felt here eyes feel heavy with tears. Before one even fell Kendo pushed his lips as soft as the strong boy could, wrapping a large and beefy arm around her waist as he slipped his tongue in her mouth, letting his hand slide down to pull her up to sit on the tops of his thighs while he leaned against his dresser. Softly [ ] pushed her hand on his chest and pulled away, now eye to eye with Kendo “Sorry , d-did i overstep my place” He asked as she let out a snot, before laughing. Confused, Kendo went to talk before she stopped him “No no, youre good, just that if we keep kissing on this dressed there's gonna be a hole in the wall” She said as she pointed to where the mirror kept tapping a spot, scrapes already aroring it “R-right!” He laughed too, picking her up to set her on his bed “Now then...lemme serve you princess” He said before kissing her again, not letting her rebuttal his own comment. As the two kissed he made sure to be as gentle as he could be , at times clumsily nipping her lip or his hand pulling hard at her clothes.
All in the name of wanting to show how much she meant to him. Soon he pulled away, a small string of saliva strung between them from the hearty kissing. “[ ]...i think i love you” He said as she gave him a soft look , trying to catch her breath from the dramatic kiss they came from “Good, because i love your loud ass too Kendo” She teased as he smirked,leaning down to bite her neck, causing her to moan loudly “We’ll see whos loud after im done wit ya” he gave his own tease back as he moved between her plump thighs, kissing the flesh there as he pulled her shorts to the side, exposing her flushed lower lips. Gasping she reached for his hand that held her legs apart causing the fresh blonde to look up at her, eyes wandering over her face for signs of him to stop “I-Im not used to being this bare sorry..” She whimpered out as it dawned on the other side of her words “Have you ever ate out baby?” he asked as she hid her face from him, shaking ehr head as he groaned, pulling her shorts down as he saw her lacy panties , a smirk placed on his lips as he peeled them off too, a string of arousal keeping them plastered to her lips “fuck, that bastared really didnt take care of you” he growled as she sat up to see his darkening eyes kiss up to her lips whispering out a “but i will” as he sucked one of her lips into his mouth, causing a lound moan from the woman he was inbetween. Slowly he licked up her lips, searching for that small pearl as she whined, a hand coming down to tug his hair. Grunting he soon found it, sucking onto her clit as she gasped, her thighs shutting over his head as he looked up to her, watching as her back arched off of the bed once her pressed his tongue hard against her clit. Softly he let a hand run under her thigh, a single thick finger tracing over her twitching hole as he pushed it in gently, making [ ] squeal. “K-Ken!” She called out as he looked up again, catching her eyes and flushed face on his actions. Making a show of what he was doing he let a second one join the first as he sucked hard on her bud at the same time making [ ]’s eyes roll back as her hand fell from his head, nervous od pulling too hard. Kendo however had other plans. Feeling her walls tighten around his fingers he made sure to find that spongy spot and hitting it, finally pulling his lips from her clit as he smiled “Uuh Uh doll, look at me” He growled as she hesitantly glances at him, regretting that she did. He looked way too good, hair a mess as he was panting, catching his breath from being down on her. With evry pump of his fingers his muscle in his arm twitched, making her own walls spasm as she watched it “Ya like it sweetheart?” He asked as she shook her head, watching him move back to her pussy “Good, cause i aint done” He said as he gave her clit kitten licks beofe slurping on it, throwing a wink at her as he picked up his pace, making [ ]’s voice rise as she felt herself getting close before quickly snapping at a particular hard thrust of his finger to her spot on her walls.
Letting out a light scream she came over his fingers and tongue, the male laughing gleefully as he sucked up her juices. LEtting her come down some he watched her face as bliss spread through her body and a sense of confidence whent though his. Slowly he picked up the pace of his fingers again, going from a shallow push to more stroking as he heard [ ] whine, grabbing at his hand “Uh uh sweetheart, you taste too good fro me to only let you cum on my tongue once” he said as he pushed her down by her stomach, letting her take his spare hand as he went back to suckling on her lower lips. He knew he had a lot in stored for her, and watching the newly admitted love of his life cum from his pleasing was enough for him to realized he needed to do more. Popping off her clit as puling his fingers gently out he looked at her ravished body, using his non wet hand to pull at his sweats. “Youre beautiful like this [ ]” kendo said as she took in heavy breaths, feeling her throat close as he stroked his massive size, rubbing the swollen head as he looked at her , giving her a soft smile “Ya dont have to take me just yet , hes just throbbin too much” He groaned as he twisted his hand hard over his leaking tip, feeling himself throb as he laid back on his bed. “Ride my face?” he asked with one of the most sinful looks [ ] had ever seen ; lustful eyes watching her as his large hand stroked his larger dick, the soft and fleshy muscle jumping at watching her crawl to him, throwing a leg over his neck
“I-i dont wanna suffocate you..” She said as he smirked before saying “Ya cant suffocate me i want it” Soon he grabbed her hip, pushing her onto his awaiting mouth as he picked up his pace, sliding his tongue into her twitching hole as she rocked her hips, keeping a steady pace as she held herself on his shoulder and headboard, ,depreate moand and cries tumbling out as he rocked her too, going from her clit to her dripping entrance, stoking his dick harder and harde as her moans spurred him on. Soon he felt the bud in his mouth twitch and throb harder, the sounds [ ] made increasing as his own hand sped up with his throbbing head, the telltales of them both getting close. A moan erruptred from the girl on his lips as she came again , her essence running down his face as he groaned, ropes of cum shooting onto his hand and stomach as he came himself, still stroking out what he could as the pressure he felt subside. Sliding off softly [ ] saw the mess behind her, taking it upon herself to lick up some of it as she was met with his same aber eyes, watching her move to his still hard member “Let me take care of you too?” she asked shyly. Fuck he was done for as he felt himslef hardend worse at her words, a large hand coming up to smack her ass as he psuhed her up and over his head, letting his tip and her swollen lips run over eachother. Slowly he pushed his tip past her budding lips, entranced by the way it swallowed her whole “Fuck...i love you [ ] and by the time im done with ya...youll know it” he whispered in her ear as she felet him push, more and moreof his large size spreading her lips father than shed ever had. Her eyes rolled up as she felt him bottom out, both moaning as he picked up his pace, making a soothing rhythm as little moans and whines came from [ ], deep grunts coming from Kendo as he kissed her shoulders and back, marking where he could as he felt himself get closer with how she was throbbing over his member.
Digging his fingers as deep as he could in her plush hips he let our a mantra of ‘Cummin’ i and ‘ I love yous’ in her ear as she pushed back against him, feeling herself teetering as he pushed as deep as he could go ,letting himself cum as she came too, the overwhelming feeling of him throbbing against her spongy walls and previous orgasms enough to push her over a third time. “[ ]” Kendo rasped as [ ] hummed , feeling her legs still shake with him in her “Im serious, i'm never leaving you...you're mine and i love you…” kendo said as he kissed the back of her neck, nibbling her ear as he stayed in her “Mhm….i love you too Rappa..”
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you’re suffering alone
prompt: “kageyama knows you as his little ray of sunshine, but what does he do when he finds out how you really feel?”
pairing: kageyama x female! reader
word count: 3k
warnings: MAJOR tw!!! depression, again major tw self harm, reader cries a lot when kageyama finds out, reader’s mom is dead lol i went all out
genre: fluff, angst
you were always their little ray of sunshine
when you first joined the school a year ago and introduced yourself all excitedly
hinata ran to tanaka after that class
“we need to convince her to be our manager!!!!”
tanaka was down lol
it didn’t take long to convince you, you were looking for extracurricular activities to engage in anyway
the conversation went a bit like this
“y/n-san! do you want to be karasuno’s volleyball team manager?”
“sure!”
“we swear it- did you just say yes?”
“...yes”
cue tanaka and hinata screaming
after you became their manager it didn’t take you and kageyama too long to fall in love either
he adored the good vibes you brought with in any room you stepped in and you enjoyed the calmness that came with him (except when hinata’s around to annoy him, pretty boy radiates ᵃⁿᵍʸ energy then lol)
poor boy didn’t know that what he felt towards you until he had the whole team screaming at him to ask you out
so he did
and so you ended up here, 10 months into dating kageyama and 12 months into being karasuno’s manager along with kiyoko and hitoka
everyone found it a little weird that you were always the one to stay the longest out of everyone, but everyone assumed it was just because you genuinely enjoyed being there
which you did, don’t get me wrong
that just wasn’t the only reason.
no one actually knew why you had changed schools in the middle of the year
every time someone asked you pushed it off, claiming your old school just wasn’t working out and started babbling about how much you love being at this school and how glad you are to have found real friends like them
“time for a break, i brought food!!”
you held the bags of food up, getting tackled in a gross sweaty hug by nishinoya
“it’s like you heard my stomach calling out for you, y/n!!! you’re my saviour!!!”
you immediately laughed
“i know, noya, now get off, you’re sweaty” you cringed a little and he got off, a little offended but he quickly forgot about it and snatched the bags
you were all sat on the ground, everyone eating quietly when hinata started complaining about his mother nagging him to focus a little more on studying
that’s how everyone started talking about their mothers, somehow everyone having a little to complain about
“what ‘bout you, y/n? you have nothing to remark about your mom like our little crybabies here?” daichi looked at you
everyone whined at that,, “we’re not babies!!”
you tensed up at the question before relaxing and smiling
“nope! my mom is perfect.” you giggled
“woah, i wish!! you need to introduce me to your mom, y/n!!”
noya was very invested in your mom being perfect, lol
you see
kageyama here is very observant, whether it be on the court or just, well, people in general
he saw you tense up for that split-second, not pressing it further
he knows you most likely aren’t ready to talk about it
now that he thinks about it, you never talk about your family
he’d love to know but he understands that you’ll come to him when you’re ready to tell him and he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable by nagging you about it
“i’ll introduce you to her, noya” you giggled
his face lit up and he nodded before the topic changed again and you could now also speak to them about how annoying and hard math class is
fr tho i hate math
after they were done eating no one could move anymore, let alone practice
hinata tried
keyword tried
he threw up....
no one else even wanted to practice after that - opting to clean up and end practice for today instead
“kageyama, ill head out a bit early today, i’ve got some stuff to do” you said
you startled the shit out of him because he was just bringing the last volleyball to the cart
“HO- oh.” he stopped himself from screaming and turned to you
“alright, just take care..” he mumbled, ruffling your hair which made you whine and fix it
you hate when he does that
he thinks your reaction is adorable
you scoffed and pulled him down to your height to plant a little kiss on his cheek
he blushed, pda isnt for him
you loved his soft side so much
nonetheless he smiled at you and straightened up again
“call me if anything happens” he cleared his throat
baby was a little awkward with stuff like this
you didn’t mind though
you nodded and smiled “will do!”
and off you were lol
hinata then popped up infront of kageyama
“what’d you do to her!?!?!?! she never leaves early!!!!!!!”
kageyama pushed him away by the head
“she just has stuff to do, shut up.”
“hey, mom..” you smiled lightly as you sat down
“nishinoya is really looking forward to meeting you! the whole team asked about you today.. today was an ok day, i was pretty distracted all day so i didn’t have the time to feel sad again.”
...
you sighed
“but, you know, it’s been getting harder lately. it seems that getting out of bed to get to school is getting harder.. i love making everyone happy, but it’s hard being the provider and never getting something in return. sometimes, when things get hard, i just want to drop everything. i want to stop acting so bubbly and happy, but i know you wouldn’t want me to lose my smile.”
you stood up
“i’ll get going then, i love you.”
you placed the flowers down on the grave before you, staring down at it with a sad smile before making your way home, yet again
the next day you showed up to school as you usually did, taking your seat next to kageyama after greeting him like usual
you were having a conversation with hinata
it was too early for kageyama to speak
everyone was confused when you didn’t show up to practice that day
kags(。◝‿◜。) , 2:47pm: are you not coming to practice?
y/n, 2:49pm: no baby, i’m sorry :( i really can’t tODAY, im so upset over it
kags(。◝‿◜。), 2:50pm: did something happen?
kags(。◝‿◜。), 2:53pm: y/n?
y/n, 3.26pm: nope, i just have some stuff to do at home (╥﹏╥)
the next day you showed up like usual again, this time attending practice too
just like that the days seemed to go by in a blur for you
day by day you felt yourself breaking more
day by day the scars on your hips multiplied
and day by day it got a little harder to make the room light up when you stepped inside
it was after practice and it was only you, nishinoya and kageyama left
“hey, y/n, can i finally meet your mom today??”
he was pressing around so much about it
you smiled and shrugged,
“sure, i bet she doesn’t mind a visit”
“can i come too?” kageyama asked timidly and you nodded
“of course.. it’s about time.” you smiled
your eyes were a little glassy
he frowned
nishinoya was too busy getting excited over meeting the first ever perfect mother to notice and he began dragging you out “let’s go then!”
he was pulling you to the direction of your place before you abruptly stopped
“ah-ah, i didn’t say i still live with her, did I?”
you had both boys confused now and you started walking into the right direction
you intertwined your fingers with kageyama’s
he squeezed your hand a little
he knew you needed a little support
only did he not expect you to lead them to the cemetery
nishinoya’s smile dropped when you actually entered the cemetery
he saw it but he expected you to walk past
you stopped in front of your mothers grave
“there she is.” you let out a sigh
kageyama felt his heart drop
“wait, y/n, i’m so sorry for pressing this so mu-”
kageyama pulled you in a tight hug, shaking his head at the boy, who now went quiet
he felt so horrible
you were trying so hard to hold your tears back, looking at noya
“don’t worry, you didn’t know.”
you still smiled at him
kageyama then spoke
“it’s best if you go home, don’t you think?”
he didn’t even sound angry at this point
nishinoya nodded and left
he really felt so bad
you couldn’t hold back and broke out in tears after
this was the first time you cried in front of your boyfriend
he didn’t expect it to hurt this much
hearing your little sobs break through you
he could feel his own heart breaking as he tightened the hug
neither of you said anything
he just let you cry into his chest
he didn’t need to tell you he was there for you with words
he told you through gently patting your back as you cried
he told you through not judging you when you cried like this
even when it started raining and the rain was slowly seeping through both of your clothes he didnt loosen his grip on you
he let you finish crying
however long it took
and when you finally looked up at him, only the moon’s light illuminating your face, he felt his heart break, again, at the sight of your puffy eyes and red nose
he wanted to protect you from all bad things, forever.
“gosh, i’m sorry, it took me so long to stop crying..”
he shook his head and pecked your forehead quickly “no. you didn’t.”
“..is this why you always avoided talking about your mother?”
you nodded, looking down at her grave, the flowers you placed there two days ago already droopy
you then looked up at him again
“thank you, for.. supporting me..”
nishinoya apologised about 27 times when he saw you
you kept reassuring him that it was alright but he felt so bad
he felt so bad he couldn’t even properly play that day
daichi sent him home early
“come back when you dont have two left legs!!!”
practice ended soon after that anyway
you sat on a bench, filling out the last bits of your homework so you didnt have to do it at home, not even noticing that it was just you and kageyama left until he called out to you
“hey, y/n, mind throwing me some balls? i’m not tired yet and i want to keep practicing”
you happily helped
you admired his determination to get better daily
it was refreshing, seeing him so passionate about volleyball
how couldn’t you help when he asked like that
that’s how he was now practicing as you were talking
“can you come over tonight?”
you furrowed your brows
“but it’s a school night?”
he shrugged “i don’t care. you haven’t been at my place for three entire weeks! i only see you at school, i miss you.” he was honest
he really missed you and he wanted to know what was up with your lame excuses every time he asked
you then nodded
“alright then, i’ll come.”
whilst he was busy drinking water you tried ‘passing’ the ball (at which you horribly failed)
“look, i’m a better setter than you!”
he chased you down lol
you took him by surprise when he finally caught you, grabbing onto your hips, followed by a loud intake of breath and a wince from you
fuck
well
he obviously immediately let go
“y/n. what’s wrong?”
you sighed and turned towards him
“um.. i.. hit my hip earlier today..?” you trailed off and he immediately knew that you were lying
honestly, he kind of had an idea of what it was
he just didn’t want to think of that possibility
he might be a bit slow, but he’s not stupid
he has a slight idea why you haven’t been coming over
he notices how the circles under your eyes have gotten darker
he notices how you sleep in classes, which is something you never do
and he’s so, so worried
but he’s scared to approach you
he’s scared to confirm his worst fears
he shook his head at you “don’t lie.”
you sighed softly “kageyama, it’s nothing.”
you avoided his gaze and he shook his head again, now unable to hold back from speaking
“no, y/n. you’re not okay, i know you’re not. i know that you struggle every day and i know you don’t like speaking about it, but i just can’t keep watching you suffer in silence, i do give you your space, but not when it truly concerns your well-being to the point i cant touch you or see you as often as i’d like to!”
he stopped and took a deep breath, shaking his head
“let’s go home first, i want to talk about this in a place i can do more for you.”
you were speechless
you never had expected him to notice anything, let alone speak up about it
you were so lost in thought you let him drag you to his room quietly
you snapped back to reality when he was unlocking his door, walking inside when it was open - you following
you sat on his bed, still not knowing what to say
how the tables turn, usually its kageyama being the quiet one and you being the one to fill the silence with unnecessary babbling lol
he looked at you, uncertainty swimming in his eyes
“can i see?”
you immediately knew what he was talking about, looking down
you pondered over it a little before nodding
he crouched down before you, looking up at you
“you know you can trust me, right?”
you furrowed your brows “of course”
“you don’t need to hide your feelings from me, baby, i love you through all of your emotional states, i love seeing you happy but i like comforting you when you feel sad too, you mustn’t hide your feelings.”
your eyes filled with tears at that one sentence
i love you through all of your emotional states
“thank you..” you sniffled
“i mean it. it hurts me when you hide it, it makes me feel so helpless, i don’t want to watch you crumble before my eyes, please, talk to me..”
“i just feel so hopeless, kags.. my heart feels so dull lately.”
you finally let in
“it feels like every single day repeats itself and all of my responsibilities are so hard to fulfill..it’s so hard turning up to school, bringing positive energy with me when all i feel is my sadness taking over my entire self bit by bit.”
he was listening, now sat on the floor before you, chin resting on your knee as you spoke
“but you’re not responsible for anyone’s happiness except yours. i don’t like when you prioritise others before yourself, y/n.. i don’t say it often but you’re truly so important to me and i don’t want you to lose yourself only because you try to make others happy.. it isn’t worth it, we love you for you, i can assure you, no one from our group would judge you for feeling down, we all have bad days, gosh, we all have bad weeks or even months! hiding these feelings will only worsen your pain and lead you to.. do irrational things..” he said, fingertips tracing over your hip gently
“let me see first and then we’ll talk about how we’re fixing this, ok?”
you sniffled and nodded, letting him pull the side of your pants down enough to reveal to him what he feared most
seeing the cuts scattered on your skin broke him, truly.
he gulped and stood up, leaving to get you a pair of his shorts
“put these on, this way i can tend to them better.” he said, wanting to clean it up first before telling you his thoughts about it
you nodded and changed into the shorts, him trying not to break down there and then as he left to get some stuff
when he came back you were patiently waiting for him and let him clean the cuts with some alcohol (not without complaining at the stings) before he bandaged them up as best as he could
he then laid down and pulled you with him, hugging you
“oh my precious y/n..” he mumbled
he was hugging your head to his chest to hide the fact that he was tearing up
he wanted to help you so bad but he knew exactly that he couldn’t just end your suffering and it hurt him
“but why? why do you do that to yourself?”
his voice cracked when he asked and you looked up, realisation hitting you
you hurt him so bad by doing this.
the person you loved and cherished most
“it felt like the only escape”
he caressed the top of your head
“pressuring you into stopping won’t help and isn’t worth it, but please, when you feel like.. doing that, call me instead. i’ll be at your place in no time and- even if you don’t want to talk i can just hug you and keep you company-”
you cut him off by pressing your lips against his
“i will, baby. i’ll call you whenever i feel down from now on”
he nodded “thank you”
he was thanking you as if he wasn’t the one helping you right now
you now hugged him back, “i’m sorry for not saying earlier..”
he hummed “lets just lay here. you’ll get better, i promise.”
he kept his promise
ever since that day, he’s been calling you morning and night, making sure you felt good waking up and going to bed
he often called you through entire nights
he made you slowly start to understand that your purpose wasn’t to make anyone happy but yourself
he made you realise you were more than a mere person that’s always happy
and he made you understand that showing your feelings wasnt something to be embarrassed about
(the entire team was very supportive too when they found out you were struggling! kageyama didn’t explain the details though)
so yep.
you had kageyama and a bunch of friends that were supporting you
and for the first time, you felt hopeful for the future, your mother watching over you proudly after years of struggling and even having to move schools for a fresh start
she could now rest easily, knowing your guardian angel found his way to you and won’t ever leave you.
a/n: YALL I MADE MYSELF EMO WITH THIS ONE:( i hope you enjoyed it & please leave comments about it!
#kageyama#tobio kageyama#kageyama x reader#tobio x reader#depression#volleyball#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#female reader#self harm#dead mother#sad#angst#fluff#reader cries a lot#kageyama cries a bit too#haikyuu angst#haikyuu fluff#tanaka#hinata#nishinoya#daichi#kageyama x y/n
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Hey there friendo! Could I get a funky madcom matchup? I'm fine with whoever (๑¯∇¯๑) This is also gonna be hella disjointed, so I apologize in advance (╥w╥)
I'm 4'11 with super dark brown eyes and hair and a baby face; most people always think I'm much younger than I actually am (I'm 20, but just look like a forever teen I guess) I've got dreadlocks that go a little past mid back, freckles, beauty marks and light patches all over my body (not sure if its vitiligo or not), and I wear prescription sports goggles instead of normal glasses since the straps make me less likely to lose them, and Im accidentally rough on stuff sometimes
Agender, aroace with leaning for gender neutral and neopronouns, but i dont really care much in the end ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I've got a metric shit-ton of mental illness, so my mental state is Wack™, tho I'll point out my ADHD and Autism since those are my most prominent. Paradoxical is the best word to describe me cuz I can range from feral gremlin memelord to so-quiet-you-forget-Im-there (I accidentally scare people alot cuz of this). Relatively apathetic emotionally, and I can sometimes struggle with social cues, I'm also very childish, hyperactive and immature, and can be blunt and straight forward with my words. I have a trash sense of humor (I'll basically laugh at anything), tho I do enjoy dark, self-deprecating, and/or inappropriate jokes the most. Since most people see me as "ignorant baby", I like fucking with them by just saying the weirdest shit or casually cursing because I can. Honestly, the amount of memes, shitposts, and copypastas that I've memorized just for the sake of a joke, is amazing.
I'm academically smart to a degree, with a leaning towards the sciences, maths, and engineering. Mostly a big psychology and astronomy nerd and really big into art. I've gotta bunch of sketchbooks and folders full of drawings, (mostly character designs), from over the years and too many damn color pencils (that I will continue to add on too, because fuck yeah colors). I'm really into transformers, comics, anime, video games, and true crime. I like to lift weights and have questionable eating habits (forgetting to eat is a problem of mine so I always have snacks on me, and I tend to eat things I really shouldnt; Ex. Chalk) and basically eat like a famine survivor when it comes to food. I practically inhale my food and I tend to get aggressive if someone tries to interact with me while I'm eating or cooking. All and all tho, I'm mostly here to vibe and just live in the moment.
I have a lot of cat-like habits and tend to headbutt, rub up against, and bite and/or lick people who I like; walk on my toes alot; and prefer small spaces over wide open ones. I'm also really flexible, so it's not odd to causally find me weird ass positions. Gets the nyoomies randomly and struggles with volume control (not helped by me being slightly hard at hearing), so I'll usually pace around while talking and making random noises (echolocalia basically, and I'll mostly beep, meow, trill, make Kirby noises "poyo!", etc.,), and also hand flappy! I also like to sing to myself and have a really great range (mostly on the higher end of the spectrum), as well as decent voice acting capabilities! I mirror things alot, so if I interact with someone long enough, I'll subconsciously start mimicking them and their habits (mostly verbal quirks and accents, but physical quirks too sometimes). Very much prefer hot and humid weather and get real tried/hibernate when it gets colder. For that reason, I've got a huge nest of soft blankets, pillows, and stuffed animals.
i.. . .this was so long.. . .. i love you thank you for sending in a request but note for people in the future please don't make your requests this long it makes it rough on me
this is a good example of the longest request i'll take and this is a good example of the shortest use this to your advantage
i match you wiiiiiith...
Hank!
- Hank isn't sure where you came from but he returned to the bunker with you one day and after the shock factor was over, everyone accepted it and welcomed you in
- they really like your goggles, sometimes they'll point to their own and then point to you, saying that you were matching :}
- he's got a wack mental state too, so he understands a lot of what you're going through and helps you with social cues from the other three, and just is there in general to help out
- you also help them if they feel like they need to lean onto you for comfort or help
- he actually thinks your bluntness is helpful because he's the kind of person is mostly oblivious and doesn't understand what you're saying unless you say it directly and say exactly what you mean
- they love making you laugh at the silliest things. if makes them really happy knowing that they can make you smile or laugh no matter what the circumstances are
- a lot of the time when you say a meme or a copypasta in front of him he won't understand and will ask you what it means
- "one bad gloop and she do what i yoinky two big splurgs and a big gloopy three more yoinks, then i buy me a smoothie poured up a gloop, that's a gloop and a splurgy"
- "...i'm sorry what"
- they really look up to how smart you are and it fascinates them when you'll just ramble about a topic because they know that means you're really interested in it
- you love drawing and a lot of the time you give your assorted doodles to Hank. he loves and cherishes them because what the heck how are you so talented??
- they get onto you for eating things you shouldn't. they want you be happy and healthy, not just the former
- he also enjoys watching you cook whenever you do! he tries his best to help but the big guy has no idea how you do it
- they LOVE your cat-like habits. they love cats. period. any time you'll meow or rub up against them they just melt entirely
- the first time you picked up on something he said and started mimicking it, his initial reaction was :O but it grew more into a :D
thanks for the request! i tried to keep it short with all that you provided me, have a good day my friend
#mc but the good kind#my writing#from the minds of others#text post#x reader#x reader matchup#hank x reader#madcom x reader#madness combat x reader#madcom#madness combat#hank j. wimbleton#mc hank#madcom hank#madness hank#madness combat hank#anon
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BRAT| RICHIE TOZIER X READER
@softbumble asked: I was wanting a smut with Richie x quiet reader where the reader is acting like a brat and Richie decides to teach them some manners.
17-18 years old or whatever age you want idc lmao
I’m sorry if this is bad or not what you wanted, I’m also gonna be kinda slow on requests, I’m trying the best as i can. Also sorry if its short or kinda rushed I’ve been kinda busy!
It’s kinda bad and very repetitive. Thats on me tho cuz its rushed. Again sorry if this is not what you had in mind. I was also writing this with the IQ of 2 because my brain was not working after taking a 1 hour and a half science test and then a math test right after so please excuse the absolute chaos this writing is.
warnings: smut, language, slight choking, degrading, teasing, fingering, overstimulation, idk man’, unedited as hell
I sat in Bill’s living room, next to Richie, sitting on the couch. An hour before me and Richie were at home, fingers tangled in each others hair, He trailed kisses down my neck, leaving hickeys and love bites on my neck as he played with the waistband of my underwear, teasing me and rubbing my clit through it. Then we got a call from Bill asking to hangout and Richie being Richie said we’ll go and left me unsatisfied. So now i was stuck on the couch, bored and horny. “why do you look so upset y/n, did something happen?” Ben asks. “No I’m just tired, thats all.” i said sweetly, but shooting Richie a glare. He smirked, before looking back at the tv which was playing some movie that i had no interest in. Bill and Stan were setting things up, getting snacks from the kitchen, board games from the closet, getting things together. I wasn’t exactly sure what we were doing but we were waiting for them to finish up.
Stan came into the living room, placing a bowl of chips onto the table. “Heyy stanny boyyyyyyyyyyy” I giggled, i have no idea why but i made myself laugh. “hey Y/n” He smiled. “you’re my twin” i say. “how so?” he asks, seeming genuinely interested in what i had to say. “We’re both quiet, sassy, funny” i stop to send Stan a wink at the word ‘funny’ “and cool people” I smile brightly. “i agree” he shakes his head, smiling. I look over to see a annoyed Richie. Hes very easy to make jealous, thats whats fun about him. Stan walked out of the room to continue helping Bill. “flirting with another guy” Richie muttered to himself, in a growl. I put my hand on Richies thigh. He looked over at me. “what’re you doing?” he growls again. “nothing” i shrug. I lay my head on his shoulder.
time skip
i layed with Richie comfortablely, My hand still on his thigh. The boys finished setting everything up, putting on ‘The Goonies’. I moved my hand higher up Richies thigh, closer to his manhood. I looked up at him, Richies jaw clenched. “Richieeee” i whined into his ear. “what?” he replies. “i need youuuu.” i whine again, kissing his neck. “wait until we get home” he mutters. “but i need you now” i brush my hand against his clothed dick, feeling it harden a bit. “baby pleaseee” “I said wait until we get home” Richie growls into my ear. I huff but listen to him, keeping my hand on his thigh. He moves my hand off his thigh and onto the couch. I huff again, annoyed, hes being no fun. I wait a few minutes before putting my hand back on his thigh. “princess, stop it” he whispers into my ear. I ignore him, moving my hand closer to his manhood. “if you dont stop I’ll have to punish you” he growls. I stop moving my hand, leaving it directly on his hard-on. Richie keeps his eyes on the tv, jaw clenched and anger in his eyes. Just what i wanted. I began to palm Richie through his joggers, causing his breath to hitch. He grabbed my wrist, moving it away from my pants. “I just remembered i told my parents that I’d have Y/n over for dinner, they love her so they insist in inviting her to dinners. they’ll kill me if I’m late so we gotta go” Richie says to the losers, they nod understanding. He pulls me through the living room and out the door, shutting it behind him. “what the fuck was that?!?” Richie growls. He gets on his bike, i get on the back, wrapping my arms around him. “answer me” “its your fault, you said we could go to Bill’s, maybe if you werent such a tease then i wouldnt of done what i did” I snap back. “Acting like a brat now, are we?” he says, pedalling faster
When we arrived to the house Richie threw his bike to the ground on his front lawn, he dragged me inside, the door unlocked. Richie pushed me against the wall, attacking my neck. “Made me lie to the losers because you were so needy” He mumbled against my neck. “Needy slut can’t even wait until we get home” Richie says before beginning to suck and lick at my soft spot. I moan from the unexpected contact. “you like that? hmm?” i nod my head. Richie trails down my neck, kissing my cleavage, his hands roam under my shirt. “Rich, not here” i gasp. “Its my house, we can fuck wheverever the hell i want” He grumbled. Richie picks me up, walking up the stairs, continuing to attack my neck with hickies. He pushes open his bedroom door, kicking it closed when we enter the room, throwing me on the bed. Richie quickly takes off his shirt, throwing it somewhere, revealing his pale skin and skinny frame. He walks over to the bed, getting on top of me, arms on both sides of my body. Richie takes off my shirt, throwing it behind him. He kisses around my bra and down my stomach, kissing the skin right before my shorts/skirt, leaving hickies along the way, getting closer to where i needed him the most. “Rich, please” I whine. “please what? Use your words” “i need you, please” i whine again. “bad girls dont get what they want, beg for it.” He growls into my ear, the raspiness of his voice and the lust in his eyes made me want him more, a wetness pooling in my underwear. Richie unclasped my bra, attacking my breasts, licking and sucking at one nipple as he fondled with the other breast. “please Richie, i need you inside me so bad, your fingers, your tongue, anything, i just need you. so, so, so bad Rich” I beg. “such a needy slut, you’ll use anything to get off, won’t you? so desperate for my cock, huh” Richie kisses down my stomach, removing my shorts/skirt. “you’re so wet for me. you’re my little whore, just begging for my cock.I barely touched you and you’re all riled up?” Richie smirks.
He puts his thumb on my clit, rubbing me through my underwear, i moan, satisfaction running through me. Richie rubbed my clit slowly, applying pressure. “please Rich, please i need you inside of me.” I whine. “Such a impatient needy slut, can’t wait to feel my fingers inside of you, falling apart just from a little touch” He pulls down my underwear slightly, blowing air onto my clit. “such a little whore, all soaked” Richie pushes one finger into me, thrusting slowly, i moan loudly, before biting my lip. “faster Rich please” i let out quickly. He speeds up his pace, lifting himself to my lips. Richie connects his lips with mine, kissing me softly, sometimes he can’t help himself and he’ll kiss me softly or passionately, he’ll never admit it but he has a soft spot. Richie curls his finger, hitting a different angle, causing me to moan into the kiss. “you like that? hmm?“ I nod my head moaning, my hips buck, the familiar pit in my stomach growing, i clenched around his finger. Richie enters another finger, thrusting quickly. My hips buck again, i moan loudly, letting my hands go to his hair, tugging. “fuck, rich im gonna cum” i whine, clenching around his fingers. I feel my release pulsing through me. Richie pulls his fingers out, i whine, annoyed. “riiich” “Bad girls dont get to cum” He says before licking his fingers. “you always taste so good princess” Richie connects my lips with his once again, shoving his tongue in my mouth, sucking on my bottom lip. He pulls away, lowering himself. Richie licks a stripe up my pussy unexpectedly. “Rich!” i squeal. He swirls his tongue around my clit and down to my slit. Richie licks my clit slowly, holding my thighs. I bite my lip, holding back the sounds. He begins speeding up the pace, drawing little circles on my thighs with his fingers.
Richie starts licking slower before sucking on my clit, i cover my mouth, whining. Richie sits up, grabbing my hand. “let me hear you, dont cover your mouth. i want everyone to hear what a slut you are, let them know that you’re mine” He says before lowering himself, beginning to suck on my clit again. “Rich! Fuck!” i gasp, causing him to suck on my clit faster, i could feel the pit in my stomach growing already. My hips bucked into his mouth, i tugged on his hair. “Richieee baby im close” i groaned. He sucked faster, licking at my clit, swirling and moving his tongue. My hips bucked again as i let out an aspirated moan. “I’m gonna cum, fuck” i moaned, Richie pulled away quickly. “Riiiich.” I whine. “I told you, bad girls dont get to cum” he leans over me, arms on both sides of me again. “Maybe next time you’ll learn your lesson, flirting with Stan and acting like a brat? You had it coming” Richie whispers into my ear, sending shivers down my spine. “Needy slut” He mumbles. He connects our lips once again, my hands travel to his hair, playing with it. Richie grinds against my heat, groaning into the kiss,his hard on rubbing me through his joggers. “Rich i need you, please. I know I’m a bad girl, please i learned my lesson, I’ll behave i promise”
“Yeah? You want this cock? Huh?” “Yes. Please richie.” “Good girl, begging for me so well. You’re gonna behave?” “Yes i will. i promise rich. I’ll be patient and i wont flirt with anyone, I’m yours and only yours” Richie groans. He gets off the bed, taking offf his joggers, his dick clearly showing through his boxers, is it up, helping him remove them. “Eager brat” Richie chuckles, he crawls onto the bed, pushing me onto my back. He looks up at me, his tip nearing my entrance. I nod, letting him know to go ahead. Richie slowly enters me, groaning, his precum leaking into my entrance. “So wet and warm for me” he groans. “Rich” i plead. Richie starts to thrust into me slowly, i moan, finally getting the pleasure i wanted. “Can Stanley fuck you this good? Huh?” Richie picks up the pace. I shake my head, whining. “Does his dick fill you up like this?” “N-no only you do.” I gasp. “Who’s are you?” He thrusts faster, groaning. “I’m yours Rich, only yours.” Richie groans again, he leans over, sucking on my neck, leaving dark purple bruises. My back arches and i moan loudly. He hovers over me again. “You’re mine” his words made the pit in my stomach grow, Richie puts his hand around my neck, making me moan. “You like that? You like when i choke you like the little toy you are.” He growls. I whimper, nodding my head. “You like using my hand as a necklace, hm? You like when i use you as my little sex toy?” Richie groans, i moan, his words sending me over the edge, my hips start bucking as i clench around him. “Are you gonna cum, princess?” I nod my head “yes richie. I’m gonna cum, please let me cum” I whimper again. “Go ahead doll, cum for me, cum all over my cock. I wanna see you” He whispers into my ear, completely sending me over the edge, making me cum harshly, my vision blurred from all the pleasure hitting me. “AH! RICH!” Richie chuckles, kissing my cheek. His fast pace continues, the grip on my neck loosening a bit. “Rich.” I whimper. “You wanted my dick, you’re getting it. You’re gonna take it until i cum, is that alright?” I nod, moaning from overstimulation. “You like that baby? You like how I’m using you as my little cocksleeve?” He groans into my ear. I nod, whining. Richies thrusts start to falter, getting sloppier. I can feel my high coming back, the pit in my stomach starting again. My hips buck again, clenching around Rich. He groans, making me clench around his dick more. “B-Baby you close again?” He says, shutting his eyes. “Mhm” “cum again for me. I’m here, its okay.” He thrusts rougher into me, his head falling back in pleasure. I whine, his pleasure sending me over the edge, cumming. Richie groans, his dick twitching inside of me. “I’m close. Shit. You fuck so good princess, taking my dick so well.” “You’re so good rich, filling my up with your big dick.” I whine, he groans, cumming in me, stopping his thrusts.
Richie pants, i run my fingers through his hair. “You did so well doll” He flashes me his signature goofy grin. Richie looked down. “That was hot.” He chuckles, i smile admiring his features. “I love you Rich.” I whisper, barely audible. Richies head snaps up, his cheeks red. “Y-you what? Did i hear that r-right. Y-you love me?” His face softens, he smiles slightly. “I love you too Doll.” Richie plants a small sweet kiss on my lips, he pulls out. “You need a bath princess?” He asks. “That’d be nice.” I say softly. “C’mon I’ll go set up the bath”
#richie tozier#richie tozier smut#beep beep richie#smut#richie tozier x reader#that one moment when you have no tags fluff richie Tozier fluff
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