#look man if I'm not abandoning my studies every other week who am I even
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helenstudies · 3 months ago
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what do you mean if I am an "honest" and "realistic" studyblr? is posting one thing and disappearing for weeks on end not realistic enough for you? :/
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wolfiesmoon · 11 months ago
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What a fate
Ran x good girl! reader
this is a part 2 to my fic "i can't sleep", dont worry i'm feeding ur families they will no longer starve. apparently people are really into ran considering how many notes that fic of mine got (and who can blame them honestly)
unrelated but i cant believe it took me this long to get into housewife radio by ghost i love the horror vibes because of course i do
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You've had a turbulent few days recently. Ever since you agreed to do that stupid dare Ran hasn't left you alone.
He did promise to do so but you didn't think he was actually serious about "making you his". How could you let this happen?
Things turned out completely opposite to what you expected, though. Instead of dragging you to his gang meeting to beat the crap out of you, he's taking you there to threaten his lackeys that if they even so much as lay a finger on his girl (you), they'd feel hell on earth.
You suppose that it's nice that he wants to protect you but you feel extremely out of place and uncomfortable at a gang meeting of all places.
Your parents think you're studying at a library right now. Somehow, you feel like you're commiting a crime.
You also met his brother at that meeting.
It seems being a good-for-nothing delinquent runs in their family. You feel sorry for their parents. If they even have them.
"Wow, I would've never thought the nerd would be your type." Rindou teased Ran. Actually, maybe it was both of you he was teasing.
"She's the one that kissed me first." Ran smirked at you.
"You're the worst. Both of you." you furrowed your brows, not finding either of them amusing in the slightest.
"Your girlfriend hates you, man. Personally I would not put up with that." Rindou seemed disinterested, checking his nails as he said that.
"I am not his girlfriend, either!" you defended yourself but Ran just looked at you like he pitied you and Rindou looked like he didn't believe you.
"Right, okay, if you say so. You two have your lover's quarrel on your own. I'm going elsewhere." Rindou just casually left, leaving you all alone with Ran in an abandoned storage unit. Oh boy.
"Umm, I should get going- ack!" you felt your wrist getting grabbed, preventing you from leaving. There's your only exit up in smoke.
"Leaving so soon? But we haven't even had our fun yet." Ran smiled at you and you honestly felt scared at that moment. Oh no, you shouldn't have yelled back at him so daringly just now. Now he's going to beat the crap out of you and drop you off in front of your parents doorstep as a warning to never mess with his gang again.
He leaned in closer and you braced yourself for the pain, but instead of that you felt his lips on yours.
Kissing...?! Again?! Well, atleast it's better than a punch to the face... You can't believe it's come to a point where you're glad to get kissed by Ran.
But still, does he have to kiss you in the least romantic place possible? Even if you did have feelings for him you'd totally find this moment cringy.
"You suck at kissing." He comments heartily, pulling away.
"I'm not the one who kisses a new girl every day. Maybe I actually have some self-respect." You crossed your arms. He was your first kiss after all.
"Every night is an exaggeration. It's like, every week." You couldn't tell if he was joking or being serious, even if you saw his expression.
"Oh, wow. Glad to know that I'll get cheated on in about 3 days. Way to make your 'girlfriend' hate you less."
"I'll stop for you." He smiled.
"Uh huh, whatever." You rolled your eyes.
Though, his kisses are actually kind of making you.... No, no! Don't fall for that! You can't believe you almost admitted that you'd fall for him if he kissed you more.
.
"How's it going with your new boyfriend, girl?"
"God, do not call him that." You held your forehead in frustration.
"I think he's taken a liking to you." Your friend nudged you, pointing at Ran who was sitting on the other side of the cafeteria and smiling at you as he ate.
"Great." You said sarcastically, immediately looking away when your eyes met.
"See? It ended up well. Now you have a hot bad boy boyfriend." Your friend kinda wished she'd done it instead of daring you.
"Didn't I just... ugh! I don't think my parents would agree with you." You placed your forehead on the table, groaning. "You date him if you want a bad boy so bad. But I hate you for dragging me into this." Your voice was slightly muffled.
"Yeah, we'll see. You'll be the happiest couple ever in like, two months."
You raised your head, looking back at Ran once again. You're in quite the pickle, aren't you? The next thing you know, you'll fall for Haitani Ran.
How scarily exciting.
.
"Hop on." Ran stopped on his bike in front of the library. How he knew you had a study session there today? Don't worry about the details.
Another motorcycle ride... You feel like you barely survived the last one.
"My parents expect me to be home in 10 minutes." You crossed your arms. You weren't lying, either.
"Who cares? Live a little." Ran rolled his eyes playfully. Clearly he isn't going to let you back down.
"I'll do it, but only if you keep it to ten minutes." He was right, backing down isn't your thing. You wonder how much resisting him you could get away with if you weren't special to him.
Special to him... huh.
"Killjoy." He insulted you lightly as you sat down in front of him. Again, neither of you are wearing a helmet. This is the last time you'll let it slide.
"I prefer to not get scolded endlessly." You held onto him tightly because you knew what was coming and didn't want to almost fall off the bike again. He felt proud when you held onto him like that.
Like you're finally his. To be honest, he didn't really care much for you until you kissed him out of nowhere like that. How bold of you, the top-of-the-class rule stickler. But he likes that. And that's why he decided to make you his.
Isn't the fact that he lets you ride on his motorcycle enough to see that?
You felt the wind blowing against your face as you set off. Now that you feel it again, it doesnt feel too bad. It's kind of nice, actually. And Ran is warm, too.
The scenery moves past the two of you and strangely, you feel really calm and at peace. It feels like your parents don't exist in this moment and that you can just... live, and feel the adrenaline of the high speed.
This is so scarily exciting.
"You look relaxed." He said, looking down at you.
"I am. And look at the road, will you?" You scolded him but your voice was still relaxed. You look up at him again.
He actually isn't that bad looking. You kind of understand why some girls would fall for him. You, on the other hand...
Are unfortunately befalling the same fate.
He didn't say anything but you had a feeling he knew you were staring.
"You look like you're in love."
"What?! How would you even know?!" You looked back at the road, hiding your face from him. You can't help but get defensive of such a thing.
God, you hate that he's right.
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fleurspun · 3 years ago
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The Art of Pretension
summary: You strike a deal with Nikolai to save yourself from a disastrous arranged marriage.
note: fake dating nikolai lol english is not my first language u might see some errors and also you can find this on ao3 
word count: 5.8k
When my tutor asked me where I saw myself in ten years, my twelve-year-old self answered something along the lines of pursuing higher education in Ketterdam University and occasionally taking trips to The Grand Palace to annoy Nikolai, a prince of my age whom I was often forced to study with to promote ‘friendly competition’— whatever that meant, about being forever his older brother, Vassily’s shadow.
Ten years later and I don't think I'll be fulfilling the latter any time soon for very unfortunate reasons, including Vassily’s untimely death.
Instead, I'm sitting on a velvet blue chair on the other end of the King’s newly-polished marble table, which felt comically long, by the way. Instead, I abandon my shame and face the boy who I was now obligated to call the Tsar. Instead, I was here in Os Alta to make a proposal. Literally. Because in the next few seconds, I would be asking Nikolai Lantsov, the Tsar of Ravka and the reason for the many wrinkles in my forehead, to...
"Marry me." 
I say it with my whole chest as if I was simply barking out orders at a palace servant, "Or, at the very least, pretend like you want to marry me."
We are both rendered speechless by what I had just said, and our silence is as uncomfortable as a sock rolling halfway down a shoe-clad foot.
There’s a subtle look of shock present on his face before quickly schooling it back to something a little more controlled, "Little bossy coming from somebody who wants my hand in marriage, no?"
Huffing, I sink back into the chair, "Pretend hand in marriage." 
Silence falls on us again, but this time Nikolai has his brows knitted, trying to figure out why'd I want to do this in the first place. After all, we've spent the better half of our mortal lives in a catfight. It could've been counted as a childhood rivalry, yes, but unfortunately, Nikolai and I are both destructively competitive, much so that what was once a quarrel between 9-year-olds over simple geography and literature became a fight between 22-year-olds (who both have much better things to do) over politics and pride.
It takes a good minute before he gives up, striding across the floor to get to my seat. He sighs, planting a hand in front of me as he leans into the marble, "You've got me again, princess. Go, elaborate."
"Parents want to marry me off to this Fjerdan boy, and he's terribly stupid and arrogant." The words pass through my gritted teeth, "I am a scholar at Ketterdam University, Lantsov. Royalty, at that. I can't get married to a man who lowers the intelligence of the whole room every time he talks."
Nikolai licks his lips, nodding in amusement. He's clearly enjoying the predicament I'm in. Bastard. Chances are, he'd reject the deal just to see how it plays out, "Watching the boy annoy you to your wit's end would be fun—entertaining, even. I'd throw a ball every two weeks just to see how you’re holding up. Perhaps I could learn from him.”
"Ha-ha. You're predictable, Nikolai."
"But also, I have to say, the idea of you being cross at somebody that isn't me is making me a little jealous." He moves forward, tilting the bottom of my chin with the pad of his finger, “I think I should be the only one to see this little scowl of yours.”
What?
I could feel my breath hitch from his comment. "What do you mean?" I stab a finger at his chest. I’m making a move to get out of the seat, hopefully covering the red coming up on my ears, "Look, if you aren't going to take this seriously, I might as well just lea-”
I'm startled when he grabs at my hand to stop me from moving away from him any further, his thumb smoothing over my wrist, "It means I'm interested, darling. What's in it for me?"
Nikolai gently pushes me back down on my seat, and I do the impossible: I oblige, "I hear Ravka’s coffers are nearly empty, and with everything going on, I know you need the money I’m offering you. What’s inside those coffers won't be able to support the people and those little pet projects you have.”
He scowls at the comment, “Huh.”
"If you accept my offer, I’d be willing to fund you. I mean it, every personal project you need the money for. I earn more than what I need and the exchange rate between kruge and Ravkan money is good.” I bite at the bottom of my lip, smiling as if assured he’d take the deal, “You’re smart as a whip, Nikolai. You’d get more benefit out of this than I would.”
His ears seem to have perked up at my last statement, immediately turning his head to meet with my eyes. His expression is melting into something cocky as if telling me he’d already figured me out. “I’m an ethical person, princess.” He shakes his head, sucking on his teeth, “I don't take offers where I get more than the other, and you don't make offers that put you at a disadvantage.”
I scoff, “Oh, my. Is Nikolai Lantsov willing to put morality over coin? Did coming back to court soften you up?” His eyes are boring straight into my soul at every word I spit out, “You’re a privateer, Nikolai. You took what you could get.”
His tone, however kind and sincere it sounded, was filled with stinging poison, “Correct. Privateers took what they could get, but I am a king now, and kings get whatever they desire.”
I cross my legs, smoothing over the wrinkles on my dress, “What’s your point, Nikolai?”
“You obviously have some sort of plan under this fake relationship proposal, and I’m trying to fish it out of you. There isn't any way you’d let me get so much in exchange for so little.” He kicks the leg of my seat so that I’m forced to face him, “So, it’s either we play this stubborn game of ours a little longer, or you just tell me what it is.”
If there was one thing worth noting about Nikolai, apart from his freakishly good looks and his sunlight hair that just has to be styled to perfection, it was that he was observant with anybody and everybody. He had such a keen eye that by the ripe age of 15, he could tell whenever I was lying or hiding something. The catch is? I don't have a tell. Or at least I think I don’t. I once looked him dead straight in the eyes, stating a lie so coherent it could've easily been the truth, and yet, he flashed me his childish, toothy grin, and pointed out my lie. 
Not even my own sisters or my own governesses knew how to figure me out, and the fact that Nikolai did never failed to get under my skin.
Slightly on edge, I mask my nervousness with a snarky comment, “Can never get anything past you, can’t I?
“So?”
“My papers are based on the theology of the Ravkan saints. The books I need for research are in the Apparat’s possession, as well as a bunch of scrolls from the palace’s restricted library.” I shrug, “Thought I’d have an easier access if I had a direct relation to you and the palace.”
Clearly pleased with my answer, Nikolai lightly taps on my cheek, the gloves’ leather rough against my skin, “That wasn't so hard, no?”
His gloved hands are stuffed back into the pockets of his coat as he walks back to his own seat, and I hope they sweat so bad that they stain through both his ridiculously expensive gloves and his ridiculously expensive coat. Insolent little peacock.
Nikolai is now clearly evaluating the deal I've given him, judging by the furrowed eyebrows and with constant nibbling of his bottom lip. He’s back in his seat from across the table, bouncing his knee ever so slightly. His actions are making me weirdly anxious even though I was confident he’d strike up the deal, and I imagine I've turned blue, vis-à-vis lack of breathing. 
"You’re going to get a deal, but on one condition.” He pauses before his lips curl up into a little Cheshire grin. "You have to say please."
Three weeks from now, our first plan would be set in motion. A massive party for the nobilities and the merchants to mingle amongst their pretentious little selves would be held inside the Grand Palace, right in the heart of Ravka. My family, of course, would be invited to see their youngest daughter hanging off the arm of the king. 
Very fortunately, I was allowed by the university to take a month-long vacation to Ravka, where I’d settle into a guest’s chambers every night. This new arrangement would ease the other people in the palace into our very fake relationship, however, it would mean that I’d have to spend every waking hour in his presence. That wasn't something I was looking forward to, but it was a sacrifice I was willing to make. However, Nikolai was a king—a tremendously busy one, at that— and it wasn't as if he’d go out of his way to spend time with his pretend girlfriend whom he surely hated: me.
I assume we are in Os Alta from the way my carriage ride goes from rattling to smooth. With this, I packed up the book inside my purse, and opened the carriage curtains to reveal the pinnacle of all gaudy monstrosities Ravkan architecture has birthed, the Grand Palace, and waiting for me in the entrance is Nikolai—
Wait. Huh?
Nikolai?
Why’s he there? 
“You gonna get down from there or you want me to carry you out?” Nikolai is leaning against the frame of the carriage door, “Hi, princess.”
I frown, taking his offered hand as I climb out, “What are you doing here?”
“Might come off as a shock, but I actually live here.” He answers, pure sarcasm seething out of his tongue. His other hand moves from behind his back, revealing a bouquet of snowdrops and native Ravkan flowers, all tied between fine strings of twine, “I sure hope you still like snowdrops.”
I take it from his hand. Given his track record, it wasn't all too surprising that Nikolai knew the basics of making bouquets look coherent and appealing, but he didn’t need to know that. He was plenty good in many other things already, “Not really your talent, is it? Flower arrangements?”
“And acting like a besotted little princess certainly isn't yours.” Nikolai pauses, gesturing to the multiple people around us, “A thank you would suffice.”
I look around, facing the palace servants and a few grisha looking at us with clear intent to figure out why the princess of Novyi Zem was here, and I remember that I was here to be his fake girlfriend, and not to annoy Nikolai into ripping out his hair, 
“Thank you,” I mumble begrudgingly. 
“Thank you… what?” He raises his eyebrows at me, waiting for an endearment.
I try not to throw up in my mouth, “Thank you, solnyshko.” I made a move to walk away into the doors, but I couldn’t get any farther away with Nikolai’s hand gripping on my waist, pulling me right back to him. A small gasp escapes my lips when his hands find their way on the small of my back, tracing circles while my hands are placed flat on his chest to stop myself from crashing into him.
Nikolai lowers his head and presses a kiss on my temple, whispering, “Try not to act so repulsed, princess, disgust doesn’t look that good on you.”
It’s been four days and we have not spent a single hour together. Normally, being away from Nikolai was something to be celebrated, but right now, I was his fake girlfriend, and his fake girlfriend did not enjoy the pity stares and gossip she was receiving from the servants and the grisha. Poor, naive princess waiting for the busy king’s attention.
Until now. 
Nikolai has invited me to dine with him and his friends tonight, and he seems excited about this, even doing as much as sending a personalized dress and pieces of emerald jewelry to my room. I find myself arriving earlier than what was said in the card, and Nikolai, ever so punctual, is alone on one of the chairs with a bouquet right next to him. He’s deep in thought and tapping his fingers on the table in a song I’m not very familiar with when I arrive. Nikolai shakes sober when he sees me, eyes scanning everything from my head to my toes, “Hi.”
“Well, hello.” I cross my arms, narrowing my eyes at him, “Finally decided to talk to me, have you?” 
“You’ve been waiting?” He’s grinning wicked, head lazily propped on his hand, “I know you’ve missed me, princess, but you don’t have to make it so obvious. "
Nikolai doesn’t have to stare to notice that today I’m not in the best mood today. 
He earns an eye roll from me when I chuck the bouquet out of his hand, “I miss not being the recipient of all the hot palace gossip, that’s what.” I scrutinize the flowers a little longer, “Good saints, Nikolai, these are wilted. Is this how you treat your lady?”
“Judging by the beautiful gown I had made for her and the jewelry hanging from her neck, I think I treat my lady quite well.” Nikolai gestures to the variety of beverages on the table, “A drink, darling?”
“What are my choices?”
“Yes or no.”
Sighing, I answer, “Whatever you’re having.”
Our conversation is cut short by the doors creaking, entering now are Nikolai’s friends. I’m glad to see familiar faces, namely Zoya and Genya who frequently visit Ketterdam to see me, and apparently some guy who runs the Crow Club downtown. The night is young, and while we eat, Genya makes small talk to entertain the group, “I hear Nikolai’s invited you to stay for the month, leading up to the party. What for?”
Nikolai is quick to answer, “We’re finally making it official to her family.”
Everybody has stopped their movements, either shocked or in the middle of processing the information. Did he not tell them beforehand?
“Official?” Tamar asks.
“We’re dating.”
Genya lifts an eyebrow, inquisitive, “You’ve been packed these last few days, Nikolai. Why didn't you tell us your girl was here? We could have cleared up your schedule!” She turns to me, “I hope he’s been spending enough time with you.”
“Well, he hasn't had the time to talk to me, let alone spend a few moments together.” I answer, plastering an obviously fake smile to get my point across, “But what can we do? Kolya has precious things occupying his day and it’s only unfortunate I’m not included.”
I see from the side of my eye that he’s seething with anger, hiding it under rapid slicing of the knife on his steak. It was only a matter of seconds before he talked, “If you didn't give me a headache every time you opened your mouth, maybe I would have made an effort to actually spend time with you.”
Oh.
I hear gasps from around the table, even from David, who has kept to himself all evening. The utensils dropping on the porcelain plates make screeches and clangs. Zoya is furious, brows furrowed with her tongue biting her cheek and Genya is constantly looking over at me to see how I would react.
I smile. A tight-lipped, tired smile.
Without a second thought, I abruptly get up from my chair. It makes a scandalous little screech that garners the attention of everybody in the room, including Nikolai’s, who is looking at me with a mixed expression of regret and anger.
“I don't wish to make your busy night harder for you, moi tsar. Have a good night, everybody.”
It’s deep into the ungodly hours of the night when I hear another knock from my door. I’ve been left to soak up my emotions, namely anger. Exhausted, I think of feigning sleep to let the person realize I wouldn't be getting up soon, but I do the opposite anyway, “A second, please!” I say, slipping on a silk robe. 
When I nudge the door open, it reveals Nikolai. Just great. Perfect.
“Can I come in?”
I decide to indulge in pettiness so I don’t say a word, only gesturing with my head.
He settles on leaning on my vanity table, taking a deep breath before softly letting out, “What’s wrong with you?” Nikolai doesn’t wait for an answer, “How are we supposed to be believable if you act like that when somebody even looks at us?”
“Look at us? They barely see us together, Nikolai.”
“They finally saw us together three hours ago and what did you do?” He works his jaw, “The moment you got an opportunity to talk about our arrangement and convince them we’re real, you tell every person with an ear to lend about how your own partner doesn’t give you the time of day.”   
Nikolai is off my vanity, walking towards me until I’m forced to take slower steps backward. His breathing is ragged and it’s obvious he’s trying his very best to stop whatever anger is boiling in his blood.
“How am I at fault here? The last time I checked, I wasn’t the one who let their partner have no company at all for four days.” I let a finger jab into his shoulder, “Have you heard the gossip, Nikolai? The servants all think I’m some stupid princess who forced her way into the castle for you to start giving me attention, and you’re making it all too real for them.”
“Tell me, then, smart girl. How was I supposed to react when you told them you think it’s unfortunate you weren’t important enough to occupy my day?”
“You were supposed to act your part as the charming king, telling his lady that he’d take time off for her and coddle her up until she was practically melting in his arms. You’re used to swooning people into taking a bullet for you, so what’s not clicking?”
Nikolai doesn’t say or do anything, instead, he walks closer and closer until my back hits the wall next to the door, eyes boring into me as if I’d committed a terrible crime until his expression breaks into something I was so very familiar with. He’s relaxed his jaw to give way to a forced smile like he’s clearly figured out what to do with me. I’m hoping it isn’t murder.
“You want my attention, princess? Fine.” He plants a hand above my head, he smells of brandy and that one ridiculously expensive perfume he likes so much and it’s overwhelming my senses. Has he been drinking? At this hour? How irresponsible. “Oh, you’ll get my attention alright.”
The way he’s towering over me is enough for my voice to catch on my throat, and I don’t say anything until I manage to get a small croak of, “Good.”
I can see his eyes flickering from mine to my lips before he turns away, reaching for the doorknob, “I’ll have handmaidens here by seven in the morning to prepare you.”
“What for?”
Nikolai sneaks a glance back at me, and the faint ghost of a smirk is on his lips, “You wanted attention, didn’t you?”
Right on the chime of the morning bell, about 12 handmaidens enter my room, Genya making her way in last. I see them carrying boxes, which I can only assume are dresses, and my suspicions are proven when they lay them out on the table, revealing gorgeous fabrics of various colors and embellishments. “I saw Nikolai make his way to your room late last night. Must’ve done more than just reconcile if you’re still asleep at this time.” she lifts a brow suggestively, poking at my arm.
“Give me a break, Genya. It’s like seven in the morning.” I groan out, trying to block out the light from the windows, “What’s with all the dresses?”
“The king had them made just for you.” Genya drags me by the arm, “Now, get up, because you have to meet with him in exactly two hours, and Nikolai does not like to wait.”
True to her word, Nikolai was waiting in his private dining hall at nine in the morning, “Hi, pretty. I see you’re wearing the dress I sent you.”
I shrug, taking a seat across from him. The scene is dramatically similar to when we made our deal, and I stifle a laugh at how stupid we must look: begrudgingly sitting across from each other with daggers for eyes, “What are you planning, Nikolai?”
“I’ve taken time off from my kingly duties, and I’m planning to coddle my lady until she practically melts in my arms.” He directly quotes me from last night, sending over a mischievous grin, “Since she wanted the attention so bad, today she’ll find her fill of it.”
He certainly wasn’t lying. 
Nikolai’s brought me around the Little Palace, parading me around the most crowded of hallways and courtyards with his hand settled on my waist, squeezing on it ever so lightly when somebody greets us. He tells the trainers he’s in here to overlook how the new training regiment is performing but spends more time planting kisses on my head and fixing my hair than actually looking at his Grishas train. It’s obvious he’s overplaying his role, out of spite or not, but after yesterday, I’m sure I shouldn’t be in any position to complain.
When we are asked to join them for lunch, Nikolai doesn’t hesitate to take them up on their offer, immediately following them onto the dinner hall. Two seats up front are reserved for us, and he pulls my chair closer to his when I sit down, “Princess, how far are you from melting in my arms?”
Near, actually. I’m not the most used to public affection and I’m one forehead kiss away from fainting into the cold, dark earth, but Nikolai didn’t need the satisfaction of knowing he’d put me into such a condition.
“Very far. I feel bad for your future wife if this was your best shot at it.”
He laughs, “You’re damn hard to please, aren’t you? This isn’t enough coddling for you?”
I never liked acknowledging that Nikolai’s smile was pleasant to look at, so I turn away from him when I sip into my glass of kvas, “You did say I was hard to please.”
“Then, I hope this’ll suffice.” 
Nikolai pulls me into him and presses a kiss on my mouth, and all of my senses are focusing on him and him only. I can feel him smiling into it, his fingers splayed out on my waist, and perfume’s scent is rendering me weak in my knees.
I try to shake myself sober from the desire to pull him in, instead placing a hand on his chest to push him away lightly. I can see him shift his gaze from me to the crowd of people who are doing a bad job of trying not to stare at us. His eyes are back on me and he subtly licks at his lips, breathing heavy, “You taste like kvas, princess.”
Nikolai was a true romantic, and I hated it with all my whole being. I regret ever complaining about how much he didn't take the deal seriously, because I’d sure take that over trying not to burn red every time he showed me some type of attention. He constantly brings me to dinners where he’d lace his fingers with mine, drawing incoherent letters and shapes on my hand while he had small talk with one of his advisors, pulling me away when he wanted to have an early night and brushing away the stray hair on my face when I was busy scribbling off on my notebook. I’d try my best to not flush red, occasionally hiding away to collect whatever was left of my sanity that chipped away at every forehead kiss he’d give me whenever I fixed his hair or his clothes. Butterflies started to burst into my stomach, and every day I do my best to swat them all dead and remind myself that this was an act and nothing more.
Slowly, the things we were only supposed to show in public turned into things we subconsciously did in private, and that terrified me.
I start to seek refuge inside the libraries Nikolai promised me in the deal, avoiding his presence more often than usual. Focusing on my papers would help sober my mind from constantly thinking of Nikolai’s annoyingly soft kisses and his even more annoyingly pretty smile and possibly even save myself the embarrassment I’d face if he saw me like this. It’s nearing eleven in the evening when I decide to take a small break from writing, cracking my knuckles until my fingers feel somewhat sore. It was also nearing eleven in the evening when I hear a familiar voice calling out my name in a soft sigh, “I haven’t seen you all day.”
Oh no.
“You’re a mess, Nikolai. Look at you.” I lean back to get a good look at him.
He’s dragged a chair opposite mine, settling down on it rather slouched. Nikolai’s tousled mess of hair is juxtaposed by his pressed, kingly clothing, and my body betrays me when I reach out to him, running my hand over his hair to push it back from his forehead. My actions have surprised us both, and I try to salvage the silence with the clearing of my throat, “What brings you here?”
“You, clearly.” He answers nonchalantly, “Since when do you hide out in a dusty library for hours?”
I take a second to answer and I raise my eyebrow, giving him an amused smile, “Don’t tell me you’ve missed me, Nikolai.”
There’s a glint in his eyes, “And what if I did?”
“Then, you’d be a liar.”
Nikolai takes it upon himself to stand and loom over my chair, anchoring himself on an arm pressed on the back of my seat, “Oh, milaya moya, I’m many things, but I’m certainly not a liar.” He leans down further, and I’m reminded of the reason I hide in the eerie library aisles. My breath hitches when he speaks again, “And stop flattering yourself. We have fittings in three days for the party.”
The fittings took quite a bit of time, and by the last day, Nikolai and I were invited to try on what we were made to wear for the ball. Both of our clothes are pulled in on a mannequin, and we are equally in awe of what they made in a few days’ time. Nikolai’s presented with a gold and blue court tunic with delicate embroidery and a sash. My off-shoulder gown resembles Nikolai’s tunic colors, black embroidery extending under my black corset. My corset is the last thing to fix in my perfect-fitting dress, and it’s impossible to do alone. I try my best to do whatever feels right, and I know it’s taking me a long time when Nikolai shouts out from the outside, “Princess? What’s taking you so long?”
“It’s my corset.” I mumble, rolling my shoulders, “Unless you’re here to help, I suggest giving me a minute or two.”
He knocks, “Come here. I’ll tie it up.”
I push the heavy doors apart with some struggle, and Nikolai is staring, rather wide-eyed when he sees me. His arms are crossed when he walks over, nodding in satisfaction, “You look beautiful in Lantsov colors.”
I turn around to let him grab at the lace of my corset, “I look beautiful in anything.” 
“Of course.” He works his way from the top laces. 
I understand I underestimated the proximity this puts us in when I feel his breathing on my neck when he moves his fingers around the laces, splaying his fingers on the small of my back. I groan when he suddenly tightens it, “Too tight?” He asks. It takes him a few minutes to figure it out, and when he finally does, he lays his hands on the smooth surface of the corset on my waist for a few minutes, “The gold brings out the spite in your eyes.”
“Charming.” 
Today, I’ve woken up earlier than usual to prepare for the ball everyone’s anticipating. I’m sitting on my vanity when handmaidens enter my room, with them the gown from yesterday in tow. Upon laying my eyes on the corset, I remember Nikolai’s hand on my waist and I try to pull myself away from the thoughts in my head. I couldn’t afford to think these things, not when I’m supposed to spend hours of him doting on me for show. It would be too dangerous of a game, and I wasn’t exactly the person to dabble in risks. Counting down is the only thing I can do to keep my nerves in check, and it doesn’t provide much help when my heart starts to pound in my ear a few minutes before Nikolai knocks on my door to fetch me.
We are a hallway away from the venue when he stops, reaching for my hand. There’s a gold-band ring on his thumb with an uncut emerald, and he’s carrying an identical one on his other hand, “Just so they know.” And with that, he slips it on my thumb and drags me inside.
I’m quite pleased about how well the party is going. People are fooled by our show, and they’ve been tirelessly asking about our matching clothes and jewelry, intrigued about how this relationship between the youngest Zemeni princess and the Ravkan king bloomed, and I do my job well, gushing about it like it wasn’t just an act we put on.
 I’ve also come to introduce Nikolai to my family, who are all gasping and clutching their pearls, “Is this why you haven’t sent letters this past month? You’ve been spending all your time here in Os Alta!” My mother says in fast Zemini, “And with little Nikolai too, no less.”
“I can assure your daughter’s been enjoying yourself, Your Highness.” He answers her in perfect Zemeni, flashing a charming smile before he bows, “She’s finding solace in one of our many libraries.”
“We never thought you two would come to terms with your feelings. Especially with our little girl here, who was practically glowing red when you two entered the room.” My mother pokes at my arm, “Sweet girl. What has he been doing to you to have you all shy?”
I stutter out an answer, and when no words escape my mouth, I pull Nikolai away from my parents.
“Shy, princess? Did I hear that right?” He laughs, letting himself be dragged off.
“No.” I pant. Nikolai wasn’t exactly a feather, “Now, go. Fool more people.”
“Alright, alright. No need to get pushy.”
Nikolai must’ve been fooling a whole nation because it’s been a good hour since I’ve seen him. I’m growing tired, so I decide to find drinks to sustain me for at least a few more hours. There, I see the boy I’ve been looking for, and… with another princess, too. He’s standing over a glass of brandy with her, and it seems like he’s enjoying his time. I could feel an ugly boiling of emotion at the bottom of my stomach, and my face contorts into something of obvious disgust.
Oh no. No, no, no. This wasn’t happening. I wasn’t feeling this way. Not for him, no.
Nikolai sees me and he excuses himself promptly from the princess, who I’ve identified now as the Shu princess. “Hi, pretty.” He lifts my knuckles up to his lips, “Is there anything you need?”
“You,” I jab a finger at him subtly, holding him at the arm, “are coming with me.”
When we arrive at a secluded room, I push him against the door. “Bold, aren’t we?” He says.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing? What are my parents gonna think if they see you chatting up the Shu princess who is clearly interested in you?” I hold him by the collar, “I know you aren’t the most delighted to be seen with me, but save me the shame, Nikolai.”
Nikolai is peering down on me, reading the expression plastered on my face, and his expression of confusion is melting into something of a knowing little smile, “Are you jealous?”
“Obviously not!” I chew at my bottom lip, crossing my arms defensively after such an accusation.
“Stop lying to me. I can tell when you are and you know that.” Nikolai shakes his head, taking me by the waist so that I’m the one against the door, “You think you don’t have a tell, but you do, and I’m rather elated I’m the only one that knows what it is because that means,” He says slowly, tone enticing, “I’m the only one that’s so constantly looking at your lips.”
I look up at him and glare, eyebrows furrowed, “So what if I were jealous? It’s not like it would matter, wouldn’t it? This is just an act we put on for both of our benefits.”
“You’re a stubborn girl, aren’t you?” Nikolai sighs, dragging his hand lower on the door, “I look at you like you hung the stars, the moon, and every celestial body in the night sky, and you’re telling me you think I’m just putting on an act? Good saints, princess, they told me you were smart.”
“You… were flirting with her.” 
“And I kissed you in front of the whole Little Palace.” He lowers himself down to meet with my eyes, “I wasn’t flirting with her. She was, but not me.” He cocks his head to the side, grinning, “Why don’t we save ourselves the embarrassment of admitting to everybody this was all fake, and allow me to actually take you on a proper date?”
“I suppose that would be fine.” I turn my head to the side, unable to retain eye contact. His hand is tilting my face back at him, “Oh, no, no. We’re well past the point of being shy, I think.”
“You are impossible.” I try to muster a poisonous voice but my eyes betray me when it flickers between his eyes and his lips. Saints, his pretty lips, and his pretty smile. I hate him for what he’s doing to me, and yet somehow I’d hate it even more if he were doing this with anybody else. 
I don’t have to look at him to know he’s reading me, figuring me out like I’m his favorite puzzle. “Far from that.” Nikolai presses a soft kiss on my mouth. I return it almost immediately, pulling him in by the hem of his tunic. Nikolai runs his tongue on my bottom lip before he pulls away, leaning in to get another on my jaw, “I’m improbable, princess.”
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persephoneyss · 3 years ago
Text
Doomeds.
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Pairing: Min Yoongi x f! Reader. Ft. Bts.
Genre: Yandere, dark themes, anguish, suspense.
Summary: ❝We are doomeds, wandering in eternal suffering.❞
Warnings: Yandere behavior, obsession, stalking / stalking on cameras, humiliation, unspecified forced marriage, n*n-c*n explicit sexual relations (on the reader), abuse of power, implicit murder, drug use, kidnapping, hitting, manipulation, dating previous trauma, alcoholism and depression (in Yoongi), accusations of infidelity, dub-con (in Yoongi's case), the reader is in school but is of legal age, death threats, really strange facts. Possibly this would qualify as dark fantasy since everything is so unrealistic.
Number of words: 10,000+
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︙Author's note: *sighs* This is the longest fic I've ever written, and I honestly don't know how it turned out because I didn't read it twice like I always do before publishing it. But my beautiful baby helped me correct, I hope you enjoy it and please read the warnings well, I do not want lawsuits. Thanks for being here!
(Sorry for any mistakes, my first language is not English and I am not fluent either.)
Puedes leer este fic y más aquí en español.
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If they ever had to ask the reality of events it would be ... Unbelievable. Thinking of how just a simple action changes everything in an already established and perfect environment.
A life.
Your minutes, hours and days were the same under your criteria and eyesight, you study in the mornings, you work in the afternoons and you attend to your homework at night. It was a good routine that used to be repetitive at times, it was fun to follow, even more so in your part-time job.
You could meet many people working in one of the best cafes in the city, your classmate insisted too many times that you work with her saying that could recommend you and you should not even pass a test, they would only accept you for her.
It was a good opportunity and you accepted it with a smile, although she was long gone from work, you were still grateful for the good salary and health insurance that they gave you every month.
"An American coffee with a spoon of sugar and a green tea cake with cream on top." Your mouth and hand move in sync, the client nods silently. You smile, pointing out other details before asking what name you would give the order.
With a sigh, he name came out like a gust of light wind. "Min... Min Yoongi."
You write his name on the screen, the little receipt paper comes out of the machine. You hand it to him by brushing his hand with yours, strangely cold and pale. A chill runs through you but you ignore it, continuing with your work.
"Good Morning _____!" One of the employees greets you kindly, you correspond still concentrated on serving the mysterious stranger's coffee. "Do you have a request for me?"
"Oh, uh... Yeah, this is for table four."
Yun smiles taking the tray with Yoongi's coffee and cake, arriving at his table. The man's expression can be dazzled even under his black mask that covers half of his face, his eyes look for you before colliding with you. YYou refuse to play along, continuing with your work, you had a lot to do and wasting time flirting wouldn't really help you make money.
However, it became pointless trying to ignore him when he kept coming back day after day. Week after week. Tormenting your head, Yoongi was not the first nor the last handsome man you would see coming often, your work establishment was literally in a strategic area and not cheap, you knew that many men and women with money frequented them to drink a coffee or eat some delicacy, even sometimes they only came in to sit for a few hours attending to their affairs over the phone.
It was fine, it was comfortable. You weren't expecting too much, sitting behind a counter, always having to fake a smile despite being tired.
Perhaps it was the constant visits that led you to start a conversation with him. You had about an hour of rest, you prefer to spend those few moments sitting in front of the window of the premises eating any cake that was a few days before expiring to avoid paying for consumption, you felt comfortable in that place that seemed so far from all the other clients.
Until his voice interrupted once, he seemed as calm as ever. His gaze lost from you elsewhere avoiding making contact with you, nervous apparently. His rough and austere tone was changed to a bolder and lower one, asking if he could sit next to you for a few minutes.
"Sure, sit down... he's not busy." It was your answer without having any problem in sharing your place so secret, so comfortable. It was still just as safe even with him present.
And in much the same way, everything became a silent routine. You heeded his order, you took your rest next to him and then you both left at one point. The talks became more common, he being the first to ask about such insignificant things as the rise in the market in the country and how prices should start to rise in coffee as well.
You laughed, you really did it by getting his attention and sharing your reaction.
They both started laughing at how strange it all started, and it was always the perfect anecdote to tell their friends about how they met.
Everything was perfect, like a painting by a great artist, what you would see would be beautiful and cheerful colors, adorning both of you possibly holding hands with a smile and a loving expression from the man who was now your partner. Her pale skin and angelic face represented on beautiful thin paper, presented to the world as a painting that reflected a symbol of love between two souls met in a casual cafe and who wanted each other so much. Too much.
Yoongi was the clear representation of an ethereal person, casual and elegant, polite and kind, protective but not possessive. Simply to the target.
Your routine didn't change much after starting your relationship, you kept walking to your school in the mornings, you attended the cafeteria in the afternoons and you rested at night. Perhaps the only significant thing that you would get out of your boring schedule was your boyfriend's proposal about moving with him to the house of his best friend, almost a brother as he described it, and avoiding paying for your little apartment. You had made one and a thousand excuses, making Yoongi shut them all up.
"Jin is my brother, he would never take advantage of us. I already mentioned the proposal, about you... I have been living there for a few weeks, I assure you that you will be like family."
Family?
Your face relaxed for a few seconds, you had abandoned that feeling and sensation long ago since you moved from your home in your native country. Your mother used to call you every night but little by little that habit was lost, she also had her own problems and being aware of you as if you were a child was ridiculous.
"It's fine." It was your final decision, nervously you moved your hands in the air explaining what you would not accept.
Do not invade your privacy.
You had spent days thinking about how to introduce yourself to them, because apparently there would be more than just Jin, Yoongi and you in that house. Your things were scattered in boxes, you stood in the middle of the almost empty room still nervous about meeting new people and friends of your boyfriend.
That they were now family. Literally family.
The moving truck was parked in front of a large house, it had two stories and an incredibly large garden. More like a forest than an ordinary garden, you got out of the car trying to clean your clothes as much as possible and look presentable. Although it was difficult when your whole body was covered in dust after lifting the boxes.
"I'm not ready, Yoon." You say, containing your anxiety that vibrates to the surface of the skin within you.
Her hand gently brushed your cheek, giving you a bit of reassurance. "You look beautiful, they will accept you anyway." Her lips came up to yours, giving you a quick and soft kiss. "I just remember that I love you, and I know all my brothers will too because you are perfect."
You thanked the little compliment in a whisper, the door of the house opened just after the two of them left, you automatically showed a friendly smile approaching the first person to leave. He was a tall and rather handsome man, he seemed very well dressed to be indoors on a Sunday, more like he was going out to an important business meeting. He looked flawless and elegant.
"The suit was not necessary, Nam!" Shouted your boyfriend behind you mocking, the man laughed showing all the charm of him to your eyes.
"I'm Namjoon, Yoongi's friend. Nice to meet you... _____, right?"
"Yes, it's me. Sorry to see me so disastrous, it was a tiring day with the move."
Namjoon seemed like a very nice and incredibly understanding guy, his presence made you want to meet your boyfriend's other friends. You opened the door entering the house after Yoongi asked you to find your room to start carrying the other things, Namjoon stayed behind to help him, leaving you alone on your unknown route. You walk all over the place and you are surprised that you only walked through the living room, your eyes straying to a noise in the kitchen.
Curious.
You ignore it, continuing your way up, you read every name on the doors. Jin, Namjoon, Yoongi, Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook. All written brilliantly on each different door, you walk a few steps to one that says your name and you thank it with a sigh.
You weren't surprised by how big it was, everything inside that place seemed to be exorbitant and out of the ordinary.
"Oh, it must be you." You are surprised to hear a voice behind you, you turn around in fear before remaining calm. You recognized her face from a photo Yoongi had on her phone.
"Jimin?" You ask with fear of being wrong.
"It's me, it's nice to finally meet you. Jin-hyung said you're moving in a few days, I didn't think it would be so soon." His voice seemed to be calm but there was a hidden question. Why? Why were you there?
You take a few uncomfortable steps back. "It really was, but ... I thought it would be better to do it today that I don't have classes, plus Yoongi doesn't work this day and it seemed like the right thing to do. I'm sorry if bother you."
"No you don't. it's okay, Welcome." With that one simple word he left.
You thought you would have a longer talk with him but you weren't expecting too much, they didn't even know each other and you plan to chat with him like they were old acquaintances. Well, naive.
It seemed strange to you that no one else showed up in the whole house, even when you were uploading the last boxes of the move no one seemed to be a little curious to meet you. Aside from the already friendly Namjoon and the reserved Jimin.
"Yoon" You get his attention, he smiles at you taking the sheets out of your suitcase and making your makeshift bed ready for the night. "Do your friends work today?"
"I guess so, they really don't spend a lot of time together or at home." Explain without noticing your downcast face. You nod, putting the issue aside and concentrating your eyes on arranging your clothes. "Hey... Okay, you can meet them all at dinner today."
Your chest clenches in anguish, "Dinner?!"
"Yes, darling. It's the only time they meet all day, when Jin-hyung cooks for us especially on days like these where we have pleasant surprises."
You purse your lips annoyed, Yoongi smiles kissing your forehead so carefully and lovingly that it melts your senses. The mere presence of him made you want to continue with him forever, you relax for a few seconds hugging his body in silence. They both stay like this, with nothing to say but telling each other everything at the same time.
The thought of ever letting go scares you.
You wait several hours, still sitting in the same place where Yoongi left you. You should be presentable for dinner, you take a quick shower before running to change into a nice comfortable dress, you try not to overdo it but also not show disinterest. From the stairs you hear everyone's mixed voices, chatting animatedly.
"Honey, come here." Yoongi watches you, being the only one to notice that you were peeking in the shadows still unsure of interrupting.
You say hello by walking a few steps until you reach your boyfriend's side, you present yourself the best you can. Everyone falls silent, Namjoon smiles at you just like he did before. Jin interrupts the moment where no one seemed to have anything to say about you, or if he wants to want to introduce himself.
"Today we have a special guest, the dear girlfriend of our brother. I introduce myself, I am Jin the official cook of this family." His body bends down with an exaggeratedly long bow, proud of his words. Jimin rolls his eyes, while his other siblings just choose to tease. "On Yoongi's orders we made her favorite dish, so I don't want any complaints of any kind about the food. I'm looking at you Jungkook."
You are surprised how well everything is going, you feel praised when your favorite food is in front of you. She looked just as elegant, as if you were eating in a five-star restaurant and at a luxurious table with silk tablecloths.
Jungkook still stayed away from the talks, preferring to eat quietly and fiddle with his phone. Hoseok was more animated, asking about you and exaggerating anecdotes that happened with his childhood friends. He moved you that he will still remember all that after years. Namjoon vaguely drew your attention with book recommendations when you commented on your love of reading, Jin quietly continued eating in complete tranquility, Jimin thanked the food and just left.
Taehyung... He seemed interesting to you, he was looking at you all the time with narrowed eyes and when Jimin got up and walked away, he followed closely with a small and almost hidden smile.
You had a strange feeling inside what they called home.
"I-I... I need to use the bathroom." You say goodbye by wiping your lips with a napkin before quickly walking behind them both. Something attracted you to want to know more, as if they were leaving clues knowing that curiosity killed the cat and that you wanted to be the one.
Your steps were quiet, even more so when you tried not to be noticed . You went upstairs listening to their voices whispering and then... An obscene moan was clearly heard, Jimin seemed to laugh in the air.
Your hands shook thinking of opening the door and seeing what was happening. And without knowing it, you had fallen into the same network of attraction as them.
You curse yourself biting your tongue and cheek until they bleed, sure that you were going to make a big and heavy mistake. Minutes later you are going down the stairs back to the table but no one is waiting for you anymore, the table was just as spotless and clean. You are pleasantly surprised to learn that they don't treat you like a guest and that they don't wait too long for you. Maybe they had things to do, however you feel a chill when silence comes.
Where were?
You look around the yard, but no one is outside. Neither in the kitchen and less in the room where you had already walked twice. You catch the sound of drums in your ears rumbling loudly, you close your eyes in a daze for a few seconds until in an instant it goes away, and then everything comes back to itself. You hear their voices upstairs, chatting animatedly for the second time.
"Where were you sweetie? Are you okay?"
You nod still confused. How did they... When was that... You were really fine? You refuse to fall into paranoia and lie down next to Yoongi, as they continue their conversation with each other. Your head keeps spinning with the fresh memories you have, but they seem to disappear second by second and it scares you, you open your eyes without wanting to fall asleep yet but it is as difficult as breathing.
You fall into the dark abyss of sleep, feeling the same chill.
Your gaze is lost in the gray sky, you are cold and your body is swaying. Your eyes move restlessly observing that you are under the snow and a person holds you in his arms through the forest, walking at a slow and safe pace.
It's fine. Are you okay.
Wake up. Yoongi greets you from the door of your now room, you try to regulate your breathing thinking that he would notice your overwhelmed state and he would worry, but no. He is as calm as ever, relaxed even.
"Good morning beautiful, it's time for breakfast. Jin-hyung made your favorite." And with that last sentence she is shifting away, closing the door behind he.
You go down the stairs ready to go, your backpack resting on your shoulder. The table is just as full as at dinner, Jimin seemed very tired trying not to fall asleep, you watch him for a few seconds before looking at Taehyung who ignores you taking his cup of ... Coffee. You approach making him recoil alarmed and disgusted, you check the cup realizing that it is the same recipe that you use in the cafeteria.
Like them?
You look up noticing that, you were uncomfortable, Taehyung takes a few steps away from your body almost leaning against his, still sitting in his chair. You apologize to him making me sigh irritated, still ashamed you apologize again without eating or serving anything, just leaving through the front door.
Your journey is reflective. You forget, dream and recognize, that was the pattern you were following, everything seemed so strange and deep down gloomy, you feel the already casual chill running through your entire body almost like a warning.
Your seat in class was empty waiting, ready for you. Ari greets you, being your table companion and friend.
"Hey, intense night?" She jokes, you look shaking his head. She laughs pointing your neck. "You have... something there."
She frowns even more confused, her face leaves her smile aside and she starts looking at her things until she takes out a small mirror and she hands it to you. You look with horror at a large red bruise painting on your skin, it seemed painful but you had not even noticed or felt it. You touch it still scared and nothing, it doesn't hurt or it seems real.
You take a deep breath before lying with silly chatter, "I had an accident, but I'm fine. I had forgotten I was there, it was nothing serious."
Ari seems worried but in the end she forgets it by returning to the same kind and joking attitude of her, but her gaze drops from second by second to your neck making you cover yourself uncomfortable. Who? It can't be Yoongi, he was always very calm in that regard. You think terrified, your hand goes up to touch it and this time you manage to feel a sharp pain.
You have to cover it with the collar of your shirt so that no customer will notice it and avoid staining the reputation of the cafeteria, you smile nervously taking orders as fast as you can and avoiding looks. Yun greets you like every day, arriving at his work time. You spend hours begging for the clock to advance faster, the night sky appears and the doors close, you clear the last counter before you can finally show your neck again and breathe.
"That's a big problem." Yun whispers looking at the horrible mark, you nod with a sigh giving the same stupid excuse you told Ari. "You should use a little makeup to cover it up, I think it will help you a lot."
You think about it for a few seconds before deciding what you would do. You bow to him with a bow after he offered to close in your place and finish the remaining work for you.
You come home with a smile, you greet Namjoon who is reclining on the couch in the living room watching something on TV. You wait a few seconds but you do not receive a small or accidental look, you approach a few steps to repeat it again but you only get him to get up and go upstairs closing the door of his room apparently with a door slam. What the hell? You think covering your face with your hands looking for some comfort.
Everything was happening inside you, it was like a whirlpool sweeping away your sanity. Were you going crazy? Or you were just thinking a lot about nothing.
You try to draw a picture of your situation, but the only thing that repeats is the constant painting of Yoongi and you together.
"Yoongi!" You say to yourself with a smile, you drop your backpack running towards his room, wanting to see him after such a day.
Your hopes fade like air, everything within the space him screams 'he', but he is not there. You check the safe time that he should be home at that moment. You hear Jin's voice screaming from below about dinner ready, you sigh losing your appetite at those moments.
You lie on your bed checking your cell phone in case there was a message from Yoongi warning about he delay but nothing. You feel empty for some strange reason, but there was nothing different about it now.
If I had been more attentive and conscientious, you would have noticed that two more people other than Yoongi and you were missing from the table. Jin smiles sitting in his same place leaving your plate not caring without you being there with them, his smile never fades even when all his brothers are sitting silently eating and looking at your empty place so intensely that it was terrifying, he squeezes the cutlery in his hand without wanting to break the tradition in his family.
Dinners are sacred and no one should be missing. There will be no discussions or complaints, that's what the rest of the time is for.
That was what her mother said, sitting at the table in her old home containing her anger at seeing her husband so calm after having been unfaithful once more. Not on the table, not on the table.
Not on the table, honey.
Jimin opened the last bottle with a little satisfaction, poured another glass before handing it to his friend who was only glaring at the ground.
"She's not like that... I know her." Repeating the same stupid prayer for hours, Taehyung rolled his eyes trying to calm his annoyance, looking at his other friend insisting that he help him.
"Yoongi-hyung you saw it yourself, she had that... That mark. you didn't do it, maybe Tae is right and she-..."
"Not!" I scream interrupting what to him were lies. "_____ she's my girlfriend, she's not like that. I know her ... she loves me! She loves me! Do you understand?" Says exalted, holding the shirt of his friend who closed his mouth immediately, Jimin noticed that same reflection of anger in him and knew it was better to leave it for now.
Taehyung pushed the drunk Yoongi away from his side, making him release him and repeat the same phrase as in his state, he tried to believe himself.
The door to your room was opened and the smell of alcohol invaded you, making you look disgusted. You closed your eyes without wanting to see him, his body fell to the side of your bed approaching your body so slowly that the anxiety inside you doubled.
"I'm sorry..." He whispered.
His hands rested around you, giving you that warmth so familiar and comfortable in your gray days. A sob was heard while you lost yourself in your own thought, you watch it melt into your arms crying and without wanting to tell you why.
"It hurts." It's the only thing it says. But... Why?
You wake up. Just like a week ago, days had passed and it seemed like your skin kept accumulating horrible marks all over the place. You even went to consult a doctor but he only insisted that something... Or someone did them with such fury that it was incredible that a piece of skin will not be torn off by the force of his suction.
You touched the last mark that came, it was dangerously close to your crotch, you try to hide the others with makeup but they were still visible at a short distance.
You went down the stairs to see them all again, you greet with regret taking the first thing you find. Your mug had your name written on it, it was a rather curious gift from Jin after your melancholic night with Yoongi days ago, he apologized explaining that he felt bad after hearing all the sobs and apologies. For a moment you thought it was something exaggerated but he kept insisting that he felt bad about himself, not with Yoongi who was almost his brother or with you, with him.
You accepted it without wanting to show your dislike for his selfishness and narcissism, thanking him so softly that he hardly heard you.
The special drink that morning was coffee... Americano. You felt insecure to drink it, and you just put it aside.
Same recipe.
Yoongi looked at you for a few seconds before smiling fondly, and you just looked away, leaving him with a confused face as you walk out the door so quickly that he can hardly feel you.
He sighed before being drawn to Jimin's grin-adorned face, he shrugged, hinting at his silent opinion. She is not faithful to you Yoongi, why do you keep waiting for something good? Only looks at her body, her attitude and who she surrounds herself with, it is a classic of womens. You will know that she is a fox hidden under her sheepsuit, just observing her more and you never leave her.
The marks on your body, your cold attitude made him more and more suspicious and fall for Taehyung's profound words. She bit his lip, refusing to spy on your life away from him... Out of his sight.
But he really wasn't doing anything wrong, just observing. In his now dirty head, everything was valid if he could know the truth.
You did the same thing you always told him on his nights where they stayed up talking about his heavy days. You went to school, to work, and then home. Nothing changed your version.
I try to focus on your friends, there was only one girl you spent more time with in your classes and after them. He researched everything about his life, but he had nothing to worry about after learning that he had a boyfriend. He passed your work, standing outside for hours waiting to see you do something dirty or guilty, but you never seemed to move.
You just served the orders and then kindly said goodbye to the customers. He felt guilty for doing something so low to you, until he saw you.
To you.
Your smile grew when one of the workers who was your partner approached your place in the box to whisper something in your ear, you left your place following him towards the warehouse.
Anger consumed him quickly, refusing to continue standing there observing the obvious, possibly he was being irrational and he knew it but the constant insinuations of Jimin. The conversations with Taehyung, his words, his suspicions, the pleased looks from they when he fell back at his feet asking them to tell him what to do with you.
With his damn relationship.
Where were you and him. Not them. You and he.
He opened the door to your room and started going through your things like a degenerate, something must have made him sure that you were cheating on him. Something, a letter, a note, a gift from him, or a simple cheap jewel.
This was your Yoongi? You were clearly looking at another subject.
"Yoon..." You started, his eyes coldly piercing you. He looked different, he was looking at you but you didn't feel safe being so close. "What are you doing?"
"What do you think I do?" He asked how else he will not point to the obvious, for a moment you thought that even if it was, out of respect or dignity, he would try to deny it or find another explanation for his actions so offensive to you. "Where is?"
"Where is what?" You claim, starting to get angry, his eyes leave you again as he continues searching through your drawers, dropping everything to the floor with thudding noises. You get closer trying to push it away but you only get rejection. "Stop it, Yoongi."
"Not until you say so."
You freeze without knowing what he meant by the latter, you take his arm to stop him but you only receive a push that makes you back away this time scared by the force of his attack. "Enough!" You claim this time by making him look at you with his cold eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about and why you're doing this, but enough."
"Then say it..." You shout again that you don't know what he wants you to say, you even curse furiously making him come closer to support your shoulders with his hands bringing you closer to his face. "Say it damn it! Say you're cheating on me with that bastard son of a bitch!"
You feel the pain of his grip, you sob, begging him to release you but are ignored as he continues to ask you to say so. You refuse to lie, especially with something so degrading.
Jin hears the screams as he continues serving the dinner desserts, Jungkook strangely puts aside his phone for a few minutes to thank him with a small toast and a smile that was rarely seen on him.
"The dessert tonight is sweeter than usual."
Jimin raises his glass with a bright smile, Namjoon adjusts his tie tied perfectly around his neck as he sips from his glass, Hoseok laughs eating the delicious cake with enthusiasm.
Curious, a green tea cake with cream on top.
"It's a shame Yoongi-hyung misses out on dessert." Taehyung speaks pretending a pout on his lips, playing with his spoon with the cream on her plate. "It is especially exquisite today."
"Stop playing already, when will you do it? I'm looking forward to getting started." Jin snaps angrily, pushing the cake out of her sight as he drinks from her wine glass.
Jungkook laughs, turning his phone back on to continue playing as usual. "So impatient, hyung." He says he with a click of annoyance.
Jin rolls his eyes, following her gaze to Jimin who is innocently cowering in her chair. Ignoring how completely obsessed Jungkook is with his games, it really was not his business,for something his youngest friend had his parents, who were too busy with their work, they ran the largest electronics factory in the country, leaving his son in the background just giving him everything he asked for without objection. Always showing a smile when little Jungkook came before them demanding a new console or the best phone.
"It only remains to wait..." Whispering, he released a patient Hoseok. His smile as charming as ever. "For her to decide what to do and then... Plot! She fell into the wrong well."
"I hate when you describe and talk like that, but I can't expect much from a Jung... like you."
However, Hoseok never stops smiling even when anger is consuming his mind causing him to clench his fists under the table and bite his tongue inside his mouth, hidden by his gleaming and visible teeth. Namjoon smiles at her, knowing that she managed to provoke him but that she won't do anything to shut him up.
"Pathetic."
Motherfucker.
Jin breaks the tense silence, shushing everyone with a snap. That silence. Nobody hears anything from you or Yoongi, for a moment they feel the anguish that something bad has happened or that his friend has lost a bit ... The hand. But just seconds later you're rushing down, wearing the same clothes and your face covered in tears. You don't even look at them when you run to the door, leaving a trail of emptiness behind you.
"Hm, intense." This is Jungkook speaking, his eyes still lost on the phone screen of him playing a silly online championship. "She will be fine after hours."
"Jungkook is right, now we must move with Yoongi."
Namjoon gets up walking to your room, surprised that everything seems almost the same as it was before their fight.
He smiles when he manages to see his friend laying on the floor sobbing, and like that children's book called Pinocchio, he feels good being that cricket-shaped voice of reason. Only this time that sweet and serene voice, released one and a thousand blasphemies that would contaminate even the most devout by his beliefs.
He managed to convince Yoongi's easy to manipulate mind, blurting out words almost like a song. Playing with the naive self of hes that still lived and breathes inside him.
You had come home after days of spending with Ari and her boyfriend away from him. You really didn't want to set foot in that house again in years, a small irrational part of you believed that it was all his fault, your real problems started when you set foot in that damn place.
You open the door observing the room in the same way, empty. You try not to make yourself feel ready to go to sleep, without having been able to do it in days, but now you doubted that it would be different here.
You remain static in view of everyone, you had forgotten that at that time they were having dinner together. They only met once a day and it had to be right there.
"Good evening, sorry to interrupt." You ignoring Yoongi's gaze that, he's trying not to get too excited about your return, even though she causes he to euphoric whirl. "Carry on, I'll just go to my room."
"Please no, sit with us."
"I'm not well."
"I insist, sit with us. They were difficult days but I know they can fix it." Jin puts a plate in front of one of the empty chairs, you refuse to sit down but you do it out of compromise.
Everyone seems to be exclusively quiet, dinner was gray, like a black and white painting. Remember the first dinner, where everyone seemed to have so much to say and now that was left behind, Jungkook continues to play with his phone sometimes moving his plate by accident, without touching a single silverware with the intention of eating. Jin eats in peace, so slowly that he is strange. Namjoon reads a book in his hand, eating so cleanly that it's amazing.
Hoseok looks at you playfully from time to time, with a smile that almost makes you smile the same. Jimin and Taehyung seem to communicate silently, they both look at each other with slight grimaces and smiles.
"We can talk?" Yoongi whispers, you feel her breath next to you and instinctively you walk away scared. Still hurt by her actions and attitude, you give your vow of silence by standing up and without saying goodbye, you walk up the stairs.
"How rude." Jungkook interrupts, keeping an eye on his screen lighting up his beautiful face. "He didn't even taste the food."
Yoongi looks at Jin, her oldest friend and the one she trusted the most, seeking some advice. But just gets the same treatment as always, a look insisting that go with you and try to fix her mistake.
However, it was late. You had packed a makeshift suitcase by going down as quietly as you could, exiting through the back door like a thief or a fugitive.
You spent days thinking about your cowardly way of running away, but in the same way you felt better and even more so when you did not receive any message from him. Maybe it wasn't that important to him, it hurt but it also relieved you.
You knew it would be awkward to see him in the face again, but you should go back and get your things over with as soon as possible. You naively thought of forming a friendship, a very distant one, but in the end it would be the healthiest thing for both of you.
"______?" Asked the person who opened the door after you barely managed to ring the bell due to nerves, he was clearly confused.
"W-good morning ... Jin." You greet by taking a few steps back to get a better look at it, you had forgotten how tall it was. "Sorry to bother I just wanted to -..."
"Talk to Yoongi? I'm sorry but he's already better without you, he even met someone new." You were surprised by his austere, sour tone and trying to intimidate you. "And you better go, you are not welcome here."
"No ... No, I-I came for my things but I'm glad to know that it's better now, and that ..." The words stayed in your mouth, almost as if it hurt to admit it. "I was able to find someone, I hope we can be friends. Also with you, I'm sorry I left without explaining or saying goodbye properly."
You waited what seemed like ages for her response, and you expected more than a simple nod of the head, letting you pass without a hitch. You searched your room quickly, trying not to have any contact with any of them for now. You opened the door that had your name on it but you were scared by what you found inside, the whole room had been painted blood red, a very dark color that managed to give you such familiar chills.
"What is this? Where are my things?!" You turned around ready to go and claim but the door closed behind you with a stormy noise. You ran to try to open it but it did not move an inch, you searched the whole room for something useful to help you but it was completely empty, and alone.
You sobbed in fear, not understanding what was happening and why it seemed that the walls were getting narrower every second. You fell to the ground, trying to stay calm and without losing your goal, hours and even days passed for you, you waited to hear at least one noise but everything was so quiet that you had to avoid going crazy, you played with your hands trying to distract yourself and think positive things, you had read many books about stressful situations to know that thinking a lot about those things caused even more stress, you lie on the floor sure that a nap will calm everything down, if it was a nightmare you wanted to wake up and if not , you wanted to dream that it was.
A lock, you hear that particular noise and you wake up. You open your eyes as fast as you can lifting your body, the door was slightly open as if someone was exiting. You scream for help but it closes, you fall back into sadness and despair screaming even more for your freedom.
You didn't deserve this.
You look with regret at the delicious food they left for you, for a moment you think about going on a hunger strike but your stomach demands you not to be so stupid. The same would not change anything. Regardless of manners, you eat as fast as you can, dropping quite a bit of food on the ground in your rush.
It had an exquisite taste, and you could recognize it everywhere. It was one of your favorite dishes, you felt disgusted to compare it to your mother's food, but as magnificent as it was, it reminded you so much of her.
You wait for something to happen, but minutes go by in which you just look at nothing, letting your head fly. Thinking of a thousand things, playing with the spoon and singing in a low voice.
You feel hot from one moment to the next, your vision becomes cloudy and the door opens again. You just stay in the same place, you don't care about anything, not even how they hold you by helping you walk into another room.
"You were right, she is very calm now."
You look at him, their faces so familiar and you try to place them, but your head is flying away at that moment. You close your eyes laughing, and drifting into unconsciousness.
You wake up. You open your eyes and you are tied, you struggle with the ropes that hold your arms while the bed below you makes your body bounce. You touch the sheets realizing that they are extremely soft, you are in an unfamiliar room surrounded by scarlet red, with elegant and shimmering decorations. You try to stand up but your legs, like your hands, are tied.
And you're still quiet because of the rag in your mouth.
You fight the bindings furiously, screaming into the cloth as much as you can get sick of being locked up again.
You think of Yoongi, although at that moment it was irrelevant you wonder where she is and if she knew that she was being kidnapped in such a way, would she help you at least? Resignation covers you completely, fighting the bonds again with such force that you feel like they burn your skin every time you move.
You sob, just as he did one fall day.
Yoongi watches you from the monitor in another room, Jin is talking to Namjoon to the side while Jungkook is still sitting in a corner entertaining on her phone. Jimin, Taehyung, and Hoseok seem reluctant to look at each other despite facing each other.
Remember the day, the one in the past, when he met them. Jimin and Taehyung were already friends playing in one of the children's castles, with their hands pretending to be weapons as they ran around. Hoseok was sitting next to his mother, talking and apparently they had a lot to say. Namjoon did not detach from the side of his father who urged him to go up to the games, while Jin was busy collecting Flowers in a basket that his grandmother was holding.
They were all strangers and even more so he, felt out of place surrounded by so many games and away from home. His parents had freed up a whole day to spend together in a decent park, it was several hours of travel from Daegu to Seoul only for his son to play in a beautiful park surrounded by luxurious buildings.
He dropped down next to her mother, hugging her without wanting to let her go.
"Min Yoongi, we didn't take this trip just for you to sit there all day, son."
"I'm scared..." he whispered, biting her lip and hiding her face in the neck of his beloved mother.
"I see... but the games look so much fun. Run and try them, love."
He nodded still uneasy, walking over to one of the swings where he sat rocking so slowly that he seemed still. He felt hands pushing his body from behind, scared he looked at the boy behind him, he had a smile on his face and waved him with a hand.
"Sorry, I thought you needed to be pushed." He spoke and did not seem at all nervous.
"I'm fine, but thank you..." There was a momentary silence before he interrupted again. "I am Yoongi."
"Hoseok, although my mommy calls me Hobi."
He smiled, offering himself this time to push the swing, they spent minutes like this just helping each other take a walk pleasantly. He didn't even think about it when Hoseok offered to talk to Jimin and Taehyung about how they'll all play together in teams.
Now in the present, he smiled again remembering how he met Jin that same day, he had collided with him when he was running so as not to be caught by Jimin. His older friend was flushed with anger, screaming for her flowers and his dirty clothes. His grandmother teased him a bit making him deny even more, he followed Yoongi for several minutes until the chase because of her desire to hit him became a game.
They both fell to the ground tired, laughing before Hoseok introduced himself to Jin. Namjoon arrived shortly after, curious about the commotion and why he had gotten bored of sitting for so long, as he explained later. Besides that his father didn't have the best conversation starters.
He cried so much that very day when he had to go home again, promising to return soon.
"We have everything ready, are you ready?" Jin stood next to him, his eyes looked at him but he couldn't recognize his childhood friend. The same one that he offered to organize his birthday parties when his parents could not afford them, the same one that he never took advantage of his money to lower it. The one who hugged him as many times as he could when he came out of his therapies after his parents died.
Who was this man?
"Y-yes." He murmured still stunned. He got up, following in his footsteps with his head lowered.
They opened the door showing him, you were distracted biting the cloth in your mouth and trying to move your hands to free them.
Your body felt the same repetitive chill making you look at them feeling their presences so... uncomfortable.
"Enough." Jin ordered as you continued your insistent useless movement, trying to free yourself. "I'm not playing around, stop."
Me neither, idiot. You clench your teeth as much as you can at not being able to say it out loud, you stubbornly keep moving even faster than before. Your hair falls on your face from your busy tossing and you stare at him, challenging his patience and judgment.
You try not to tremble when he approaches you with intentions that deep down manage to scare you. But you continue, the bed moves as fast as you do until his hand falls against your cheek causing a gasp to come out of your gagged mouth.
"Hyung!" Yoongi claims holding her hand to prevent her from trying to hit you again, you feel the particular burning on your right cheek and the tears growing back in your eyes. "Please, no blows. That was not what we agreed on."
Jimin cleared his throat, a satisfied smile on his face, "We never specified anything, actually... Yoongi-hyung."
"Jimin is right, you never specified any kind of restriction for her and us." Namjoon clarified making you look at them confused, it was as if they were talking in terms of employment or contract.
But you had never signed anything.
"B-but they can't do that, they'll never accomplish anything if they force her." He tried to persuade him but Jungkook sighed, dropping his phone to the ground and then stepping on it like it was worthless. "She will just hate them."
"She will do it anyway, if we let her off her or try to convince her to stick with sweet words she won't think twice and she will run away ready to report us for kidnapping."
"In addition to the damages that she suffered here." Namjoon continued to condemn Jungkook, uplifting her surname and her family's status.
"You are in this with us or against us, there is still a free place in the basement for you with chains just as heavy."
Again, the same chill ran through you causing you to cringe in your place. These men were insane, they were capable of betraying each other, and worse, they could possibly also consider shooting themselves in the back when they weren't looking at each other. All for you, as if you were some kind of prize for winning and owning.
After moments that seemed eternal, Taehyung was releasing your mouth as you began to complain about what they were doing, how they dared and demanding freedom.
Really a classic, so much so that it was witty and hilarious that you said it literally.
They forced you to kneel on the ground with your hands on your legs still perfectly tied. More questions filled your mouth not knowing what they were planning, all you could do was look at them so scared it was adorable.
"Uh... Well... I guess one should go first." Jin says, taking a few steps away from your crouched figure.
Jimin stepped forward, standing in front of you causing you to look up from your spot below him.
"What are you doing?" You ask weakly, you try to drag yourself away when his hand struggles with his pants to remove it but Jin holds you in place. Getting on his knees to speak into your ear softly.
"You better take a breath instead of trying to run away, honey. I thought you were smarter... hm?" He laughs mocking your scared face, you refuse to open your eyes and mouth making him stop laughing in annoyance.
Jimin sighs taking your face in his hands so roughly that they will surely leave a purple mark on your skin. He was still dressed, I was hoping I could humiliate you more and then fuck your mouth until you suffocate while his hyung explains everything to you. How it all started, his obsession, his plan, they had planned everything so perfect that it was terrifying, everything monopolized on one board.
Soon as soon as possible you will just be a cute housewife and you will forget your life before that day. Not for nothing did they have a closet full of cheerful and homely outfits ready for you, they wanted to destroy you and then put you back together just to serve them.
You would be his wife, of everyone.
"Come on, little bitch..." Jimin started, reaching over to kiss you on the lips even though you refused to do so. You really no longer had a vote or a word of objection in his plans. "Open your eyes darling, you don't want a stray bullet to land in your mother's skull, do you?" He threatened making you obey even more scared than before.
"P-please don't hurt my mother!" You sob, clasping your tied hands in supplication.
"Oh, we won't.... yet." He whispered kissing your lips one last time before imposing himself on your kneeling body. Her cock came out of her pants, stroked a few times before guiding it to your lips. Your stomach contracted, and you pulled your face away as far as you could before Hoseok held you by the hair tightly pulling you close again. "Take it, baby. Everything will be fine if you just obey."
"I hate them, they disgust me" You whisper before Jin forced you to open your mouth making you take it, you fight for a few seconds but her hips are already moving making you choke and gasp. His moans are so loud they make you squirm but his hands hold your head close to him.
"I told you you'll take a breath, but you're a dumb whore." His breath is hitting your neck directly, your skin crawling trying to distract you from anything other than Jimin's cock in your throat causing you to gag and vomit. "I bet you're wondering why, what did you do, and nothing really. Or if Yoongi!"
You do not look at your boyfriend before, you only focus on Jin who smiles, caressing your body with his hands, almost exceeding your limits. However, what did it matter if he did it, there was nothing you could do for yourself.
"You were only here, I think we all loved you from the first moment we saw you. We spent many nights wondering what was special about you, many of us had dated women before but you... You were so different, you had something that attracted us and it made us go crazy. " His hands squeezed your breasts causing you to gasp on Jimin's cock who moaned with pleasure, continuing his steady and hard rhythm. "Taehyung got involved in the matter. "
Jimin smirked when your eyes went up to him, your eyes showing how angry and helpless you felt. And it was exquisite.
"I bet you didn't know about your beloved boyfriend's background,locked up in a rehab center for alcoholics for two years. Three years taking therapy for his depression after the tragic death of his parents, quite strong actually." His words had such a strong past but from his mouth they came out as if it were not so important. Something common for him. "I'm surprised he loved you so much and didn't tell you."
You cried unable to turn your face to look at him, deep down you wanted to put Yoongi aside and not hate him for this. But it seemed almost impossible when he was there, doing nothing, so calm that it was unreal that he had ever looked at you directly and declared his love to you over and over again. For months.
"He really was fine for a while until we decided to make him fall again, one drink after another... First trust him, then question their relationship and finally make them argue." A laugh left his lips, it was almost uncomfortable that he was the only one doing it. Everyone else was so quiet just watching. "But I can't give myself all the credit, let me introduce ourselves well, my dear."
Jimin walked away from you letting you breathe again, you had almost forgotten that he had been doing that act against you. Your tied hands help you hold off the ground by not being able to breathe properly, you feel so weak that you are about to pass out but you refuse to look weak in front of them.
"Kim Seokjin, son of the best chefs in the country and heir owner of thousands of five-star restaurants, inside and outside the country." His body crouched down, making an extremely long bow. Namjoon stood next to him, with the same smile from the day he met you. "Kim Namjoon, the only and adored son of the best lawyers and mayoral candidates, future presidents if occasion permits." There was a strange tone behind his voice, with a knowing wink. "I thought you can guess what Hoseok's parents do, but I'll tell you just in case. Great psychiatrists recognized for their countless achievements outside and within the country, having a tradition from generation to generation, capable of manipulating even the cleverest mind like yours."
Hosoek smiled at you, but this time his smile showed malice and pride. All that time you were surrounded by people who wielded a certain power and influence, oblivious to the fact that they could ever use it against you.
"Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung... Maybe you heard about their surnames on the news two years ago? Families specialized in medicine, their knowledge dazzles science and biology. Before allies and now both surnames are enemies competing for the market, but who would say that their children would meet secretly and use their same knowledge to retain a precise treasure." His hand stroked your hair causing you to recoil angrily, with a grimace of disgust and resignation. "Well... Finally Jungkook, son of the best technology creators in the country. Capable of creating anything, millionaires obviously, like everyone. Faithful lovers and devoted to he son, giving him everything he wants. " He stopped for a moment and then brought his hand to your ear taking out one of your earrings, you looked at him confused before he opened it showing a tiny device that lit up. "Even creating a more than wonderful device, a tracker of the smallest size."
You opened your mouth completely petrified, looking at each and every one of them. Most of them had a firm and conceited posture, but your eyes only looked at him.
"Were you in on this?" You ask by moving your body slightly, Yoongi only remains silent, avoiding looking at you at all costs, even if it is out of mercy you demand a simple word. "Speak! Tell me! Tell me!" You scream completely out of control, letting out all your frustration and anger with him, just him. It's all his fault. "Tell me now! To finally be able to completely hate them all... Please tell me, I just want to stop inventing and fooling my head trying to justify why you are standing there doing nothing for me" You sob almost exhausted, " Without helping me, when before you said you love me."
His eyes meet yours a few seconds before Jungkook chimed in, completely certain that you were trying to play your manipulation cards to get rid of them. Funny, they had done the same to catch you, their hyung could sometimes be so... credulous. That it was ironic that she was older than him.
"Good enough talk for today." He demanded, causing you to hide your head again in fear. You were so scared, even with the pain in your cheek and jaw from being forced by Jimin, you would never give up on them.
Your mouth felt dry, you couldn't remember the last time you drank water alone. As if they could read your thoughts, Taehyung appeared with a tray with a glass of water and a purple pill.
"Take that away from me." You scream when he tries to put the pill in your mouth, backing up as far as your bound legs will allow.
He sighs bored, as if he doesn't have the patience to deal with it, "If you want water you'll have to do this."
"What is it?" You ask almost breathless from the lack of water in your body, he smiles before bringing the pill to his face to look at it rolling it on his finger.
"Hm... Vitamins." Respond after hesitating. "Everything you need in one compact little pill. It was an invention by Jimin and me, we were hoping you would be the first to try it."
A few seconds ago you remember hearing about the reputations of both families, they were specialists who probably passed that knowledge on to their children. If they knew what they were doing with them, they would be shocked. Your reasoning tells you no, to throw it away and try to run away but your head and body can't take it anymore, they demand water and a rest.
"I-it's okay." You accept, removing the pill and the glass of water from the tray angrily. You put the pill in first, then the water so hard your mouth hurts from the force.
You return the glass silently, eyeing him suspiciously before sitting back down and walking a few inches away. You wait for everyone to do something, but they stay so still as dolls that it scares you, everything about them and their attitudes was creepy.
I wish you had noticed earlier.
And now you feel it, it was not pain, nor anxiety. I was just calm, the noises seem to decrease and your vision does not blur but you feel so relaxed that you do not seem to be affected by any drugs. You could feel it all, but you didn't care.
It was relaxing but you weren't far this time, you remember the previous scenes. When you ate the food they gave you, it was similar but as if it had been modified so that you can remain docile and obedient, but at the same time you know what they are doing.
Your body falls on the bed, you don't even try to get up. Your brain isn't thinking about that, it just gets distracted by the decorations around it, but it clearly perceives one of them nearby. Namjoon is behind your body lying face down, half is on the bed and your legs are still kneeling on the floor. You feel his kisses so desperate on your neck, his hands touching your breasts and stomach trying to lower himself further, anxious not to wait to fuck you as he always wanted and should have been.
You do not fight when his legs open yours with force and speed, you just stand still, thinking with your head glued to the soft sheets of the bed, deep down you can slightly feel your desire to push him and push him away furiously, you want to do it but not you do. You feel so confused that you sob into the sheets in released frustration.
"I thought I heard from you, that her wouldn't refuse anything with his stupid pill." Jin whispers, disgusted seeing you struggle with yourself in search of reason.
"I don't see her deny it." Jimin retorts, crossing his arms with a small victorious smile.
Yoongi stands aside, not wanting to accept this but likewise, like you, does nothing to avoid it while Namjoon sinks deep inside you causing you to writhe overwhelmed and let out a groan of pain, your mouth opens to complain and probably ask him to stop, but he instantly closes again only releasing more gasps and squeals.
They spend minutes with all eyes on you, taking the cock of her friend who abuses your sore pussy from overstimulation, this time you are crying and begging for mercy to stop. Even in your unconsciousness you continue to feel all the pain and also the pleasure that is now almost non-existent.
"S-stop!" You cry between gasps of exhaustion, your hands had been released by Jungkook seconds ago so that you can hold on properly. However, you only use them to try to ward off Namjoon who is holding you against the bed by slamming his body against yours with obscene noises. The bed squirms like you, colliding with the wall in sync.
"A little more baby... Just a little more... And I'll fill you with my cum, so fucking tight. You like that, hm?" Her breath very close to your cheek makes you react, you squeeze your eyes almost suffering from your next inevitable orgasm. You scream making everyone watch you fascinated by how your face contracts with pleasure and pain, you try to walk away when the moment of ecstasy recedes, but he continues to fuck you bareback hard, selfishly chasing the release of him against you.
You spent hours repeating the same routine, sometimes sometimes even more hours than you can remember or count.. Your body was completely covered with bruises and marks not only made by them manually, you had discovered in the worst way that Hoseok had a great fetish to make small cuts to any animal or person that had skin and that glistening blood came out of those wounds, red as hell and as sweet as ambrosia.
A delicacy, truly a true delicacy blessed by God.
Jin could not stop laughing at your overwhelmed face, sometimes he would sit next to you while your body was fucked uncontrollably, watching your face move on the sheets with the constant and hard movements of his friends.
"Do you enjoy it, you dirty bitch?" You knew he was making fun of it, not only because it denigrated your dignity, but also because you couldn't answer correctly and the only thing that moved was your head up and down from the thrusts. As if you were affirming his disgusting words. "You like it right?" And again. "I bet you will enjoy it every day from now on, do you want to marry us, little bitch? Be ours forever, that we fuck you every damn day like that, that we also fill you up that you would get pregnant, you would have our children , and you would gladly. Do you accept _______?"
You did not want to know where he managed to get your last name, nor your full name and less because he thought that after the effect of whatever they had given you, you would really accept being his damned wife.
But he just stands there, watching Jungkook abuse his new power against you and taunt him.
I just wanted to wait for everyone to leave, so I could hug you, heal you, and ask for forgiveness.
He couldn't save you if he was chained to the basement like they threatened to do. He was afraid of his own friends, who looked at him madly when hours before he thought of withdrawing from the plan, Hoseok as charismatic as he always claimed to be able to cut his neck so easily if I took you away from them.
Now, they were doomeds.
The painting lost its color once more.
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boldlyvoid · 3 years ago
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Intro to Criminal Minds: Why They Did It
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Criminal Minds x MINDHUNTER AU
Spencer Reid x Margaret Carr (OC)
Part 1: Ed Kemper.
Summary: Spencer is teaching a 7-week seminar on the most interesting criminal cases, explaining their actions to understand why they took place. Only, not everyone in the audience is a student.
warnings: graphic details of a real rape and murder case, like every trigger in the book, applies to this fic so read with caution (if you watch either show you're used to it, however), it's all real and did actually happen and I don't support any of it. strangers to lovers, mutual pining, flirting, fluff, eventual smut, idiots in love, OC is Wendy Carr's daughter, her bio father is Jason Gideon
word count: 3.9K
He'd be lying if he said he wasn't having fun teaching.
He started with guest speaking, moving to special seminars a few times a year. But he wanted something more, settling for a 7-week criminal justice elective of his choosing.
Intro to Criminal Minds: why they did it. Giving Spencer an excuse to share the most intimate facts about serial offenders in a setting where no one could tell him to shut up.
14 students total signed up for the two-hour Seminar, taking place every Thursday at 11 am from September until Halloween. Over the 7 weeks, he would explain the fascinating insights of the most successful killers in the United States. Only asking that his students write about a prolific crime they find interesting by the end of term, for their full grade.
All he wanted was to read about obscure killers from around the world, from the perspective of aspiring profilers.
The first Thursday, he came prepared with his coffee a half hour before the class. He wanted to write the main points on the whiteboard in advance, nice and neatly.
To his surprise, a student was already there waiting for him. "Oh, hello,” he smiled softly.
She was sitting with a book in her hands, she pushed her glasses up her nose to look at him as he walked in. She was older than his typical student, around 35. Probably finishing up a degree or adding something to what she already had.
"Hi," she smiled at him. “Sorry, I’m early, I was visiting my mom at Quantico earlier.” She explained. "I'm not a teacher's pet or anything. Promise, I’m not even a student.”
It made him laugh slightly, correcting him like she read his mind. "It's okay, I'm Doctor Reid," he introduced himself softly.
“Margaret Carr, Peggy is also fine.”
"Pleasure to meet you," he said quickly before focusing his attention on the whiteboard.
He could feel her eyes on him the whole time he wrote, not wanting to turn around and catch her. "That's so interesting," he heard her mumble under her breath.
"Hmm?" He turned around.
"It's just that, everyday occurrences that never phase the regular person somehow cause psychopaths to kill," she read the board back to him.
"I was reading a study a while back about how psycho killers medulla oblongata is approximately 19% smaller than the average human’s. Based on the way they're nurtured as children affects if they grow up to kill. The ones that don't often end up in law enforcement and other positions of power where their psychopathic tendencies can come to play."
He was taken aback for a moment. He had never experienced a student who was like him before. Someone who just pulled facts into conversations like it was nothing.
"I read that as well," he smiled. "It is fascinating. The smallest amount of bullying and abuse from a mother or disappearance of a father figure can set them off."
"Or, on the other hand, there are people like Ted Bundy," she added. "He was well-loved and taken care of, but it went to his head. His god complex and affinity for lying led him to be incredibly charismatic and enabled his killing."
"You're very educated on this already; are you just interested in hearing me speak today?" He asked, not wanting her to leave, finding it interesting that she was there.
"Oh," she blushed. "I was going to talk to you more about it after the seminar actually."
“Okay, I’ll be waiting for you,” he felt a little giddy at the prospect.
"Thanks," she laughed. "Seriously though, I'm a big fan of your teaching style, I saw a few of your classes when my dad was teaching at the academy in 2005. It's a lot easier to remember facts if the lecturer genuinely loves what they're talking about."
"You're going to like this Seminar then. It’s basically just a way for me to get paid while unloading all the random facts I have,” he warned her with a smile.
"I know." She smiled back at him.
The rest of his students filed in slowly. By 11 am, 14 faces were staring back at him.
"Hello," he waved awkwardly. "I'm dr. Spencer Reid. For the last 12 years, I've worked with the FBI's Behavioural Analysis Unit. Catching serial offenders across the country."
He took a deep breath, letting the nerves find their way out of him. "I've been asked time and time again who my favourite serial killer is, which is a peculiar way to phrase the question. It feels morally wrong to have a favourite in the way people do with baseball players.
"I am, however, fascinated with several serial offenders' reasoning and explanation for why they did what they did. Every single killer is different, but it all comes back to 1 thing. Do you know what that is?"
They all shook their heads. “What is your relationship with your parents like?" He asked. 
Everyone in the room reacted; some students sighed, some rolled their eyes as they recalled their parents and childhoods to memory.
"When a person decides to kill, it's often never in the moment. It's in childhood. The majority of serial offender's stories start the same; their mother didn't love them, their father left. Someone at home abused them or put them down repeatedly."
"Thus, causing a hatred so primal to bubble. No matter how hard they try and fight it, the bubble always bursts. They go from fantasizing to killing in retaliation for their abuse, taking the anger out in stages."
He referred to the board. "Every killer has a stressor and a trigger—something that causes the urge to bubble and the event that causes the bubble to rupture.”
"Edmund Kemper is a fascinating example of this. He grew up with a family for the first few years of his life before his father fully abandoned them. His mother handled the situation by turning her anger onto her son; it was his fault his father left, he looked just like him, Ed was just another useless man who would never amount to anything," he emphasized the words. Hoping the class sees the effects words have on children.
"He started by cutting up dolls, stealing his sister's barbies and cutting their heads off. In his mind, he was getting out his anger and hatred for how his mother saw him. She hated men, causing him to mature with a warped idea of what women are truly like."
"His attraction to killing worsened his mother's hatred; she could tell something was wrong with him, that he didn't react to everyday situations the way he should. By the time he was ten, she was locking him in the basement for days on end, telling him he was a monster and her biggest regret."
"The change in her rage amplified his own. He hated hearing her speak. He hated the way she walked around, thinking she was better than him. That just because she was a mother and a working woman, she deserved respect and submissive’s. All he could see was a woman with a big head who needed to be humbled. This is the moment when the psychotic side of his brain blended his hatred of his mother with how good it felt to kill."
"Is that why he, you know?" Peggy cut in, running her finger along her neck as she pretended to cut her head off.
He pressed his lips together in an awkward smile, nodding. "His signature, as it's called, was decapitation. But more specifically necrophiling the severed head of his victims."
The whole class let out a disgusted noise, Peggy and Spencer making eye contact while they shrugged, it wasn't news to them.
"At age ten, he moved from barbies to cats and dogs, never leaving them around for his mother to see. While he hated her, he was also absolutely terrified of her. Breading a special type of killer. When you think of school shooters or preferential predators, what do they have in common?" He asked.
He pointed at a student in the back. "They have a specific type of victim they’re after?"
"Exactly. Most serial offenders want to go after the cause of their pain or attraction. However, Ed wasn't able to kill the source of his rage for a long time. His mother mentally abused him so intensely that he believed she was in control of him and that her opinion of him mattered. He saw her as his God, he loved her, but he also knew that he disappointed her.
"He ran away soon after to find his father. Travelling to California, only to be told he was unwanted there as well. It wasn't just his mother that his father was escaping; it was the fundamental aspect of family that he didn't want. Ed defiantly didn't want to go back to his mother after that, so he moved in with his paternal grandparents."
He kept catching the looks on Peggy's face. She knew the story already, waiting patiently to hear the words he chose to make the horrific acts seem a little more conversational.
"His grandmother was exactly like his mother. If I had to guess, his father most likely had a distaste for his own mother and thus divorced Ed's mom. Only he never grew up to be a killer, just an absent father—his absence doing to Ed what never happened to him."
"Ed killed his grandparents when he was 15. Telling the police and his therapists that they had beaten him constantly, they refused to feed him and called him names. He said he snapped from the trauma; it was self-defence."
Peggy laughed to herself, making him smile softly. "Sending him to a mental hospital instead of a juvenile facility was the worst thing they could've done for him," Spencer added.
"Why?" A student asked.
"Ed is a psychopath." He reminded them. "He doesn't feel empathy the way we do. You can admit that you feel bad for him, yes? If you understand why he killed people, it doesn't make you sick, like him, it makes you human. You see a hurt person hurting others; Ed Kemper sees himself as a new sort of God, choosing who dies, how and when."
"He was brilliant, having the exact IQ as I do," just a humblebrag, "the staff trusted him. He looked like an innocent boy, smart enough to take matters into his own hands for the betterment of his life. They gave him computer privileges, they let him work the front desk and file patient information. Giving him all the resources to learn about who he was inside and how to get away with it perfectly."
"Damn," another kid added. "When did he get out?"
"At 21.” He answered the student quickly. “Ed was interviewed by my mentor Jason Gideon, in the 70s. Where he explained that being locked up during his sexual prime, as well as the access to information, is what truly set him off more than his mother.
"He moved back in with her and his sister when he came out of the institution, immediately returning to the constant ridicule. He went from being told all the time that he was a smart and charming young man, capable of rehabilitation to a useless, no-good son, who would have been better off collecting in a condom or running down her leg."
The whole class laughed, shocked at his repetition of Ed's mother's words.
"He got his licence when he was released. And remember, this was prime time for hitchhiking in California; everyone and their mother walked the roads with a thumb in the air. It was the birth of free love and recreational marijuana usage. It was also the best hunting ground for a learning serial killer."
"He was able to pick women up, but like I said, missing his sexual prime while in an institution made him almost impotent. He didn't know how to speak to women; he had to create a fantasy in his mind every time, one that involved killing, before he could look at a woman."
"How did he get them in his car then?" A voice asked from the back.
"He was 6'9, 300lbs; he looked like a big teddy bear. And his mother was the local college administrative assistant, so the whole town knew him anyway. If Ed offered to give them a ride, it wouldn't be that bad, right?" Peggy turned around to face the class as she explained for Spencer, who just shook his head.
"He only wanted to rape the victims, originally," Spencer added. "But he couldn't. There was no release of the tension. The bubble that had been growing inside him was at its breaking point; he needed to just do it. Get it over with and move on."
"He killed 6 women in succession after that. Gaining the name "The Co-Ed Killer," well before anyone even suspected Ed Kemper," Spencer took a sip of coffee, feeling his throat start to dry as they reached the insane part.
"He was overly friendly with the cops; he wanted to get his record expunged and join the force.” Spencer finally continued. “Being told, "don't worry about your record, worry about your weight.""
"Most killers enjoy wearing a uniform for the power and talking to the police about their cases, in the hopes of gauging how smart they really are—taking pride in the fact that they are getting away with it for so long."
"He watched all the cop shows, and he read all the books. He knew that in order to get away with it, he had to do it where no one could trace it back to him. He knew he had to keep his cool and avoid looking obsessed with the case, but just curious enough to gain insight into how they thought he was doing it. It went on for years, and they had absolutely zero leads, finding headless bodies every few months before they finally received a call." He left them hanging, walking over to his sheet of paper and pretending to read it while they anticipated the catch.
"Ed always knew that he wanted to kill his mother. He just never knew when,” Spencer teased the story along. Noticing as the students fidgeted in their seats as they wondered what happened next.
“In his interview with Gideon, Ed said that he knew she would die 7 days before he killed her. He walked into her room that night to find her reading, with the audacity to ask if he wanted to come in and chat all night. Teasing him for the way he rambled to her. It was the last time she ever did that."
"It's hard to imagine his signature with the fact his second last victim was his mother," Peggy added, cringing at the thought.
"Wait," another student interjected. "Who was his last kill then if he only really wanted to kill her?"
"Remember how I said he lacked empathy?" Spencer asked. "He loved his mother in the same way a prisoner can end up loving their captor."
Peggy nods at the comparison, looking like she's never thought of it that way before, then smiling at him.
"You grow a bond through the trauma and when the only thing you've ever known is violence and hate, you don't know what to do when that's gone, it's hard to cope."
"He said he killed his mother so that she never had to know what he did. She'd never have to sit at his court hearings or be able to tell the media that she always knew he was a killer."
"His last kill was his mother's best friend," He finally answered the question.
"He didn't want his mother to be even more disappointed in him, but he also didn't want his mother's best friend to find her like that and be upset. So the obvious answer to him was to kill her too."
"What the fuck?" He heard a couple of kids say under their breath.
"Yeah," he agreed with an almost chuckle. "This is what I mean by their answers are fascinating. It makes so much sense to them; clearly, if I kill my mother, her friend will be upset, so the best answer would be to put her out of her misery as well. He sees them as objects, like a matching set. One would lose value without the other."
Everyone was silent then. The students took in all the information they had just received, staring up at him with a look of disgust mixed with wonder.
"Any questions?"
Peggy raised her hand for a change; he pointed towards her in approval. "You missed the part where he specifically took the heads from the three women before his mother and brought them back home with him. He buried them in the yard outside her bedroom window, making sure they were always looking up to her."
Spencer was amazed that she knew the details. "Yes, I guess I did."
"I always found that part particularly interesting in this case," Peggy added. "Her opinion mattered so much to him. He knew how much she loved her co-ed's and how they looked up to her so much. They'd be exactly like her. He felt trapped in a town of women who were exactly like his nightmare, and his response was to make them physically look up to her for the rest of her life."
"Exactly." Spencer smiled. "understanding how he sees the situation and how the events played out in his mind is the key in figuring out who he is."
"If you were on the case in '72 when the first victims were discovered, how would you have handled it, Dr. Reid?" A male student in the back asked in the silence between answers, taking his shot before Peggy and Spencer went any further in their discussion.
“That's a hard thing to answer, connecting evidence back then was a lot harder than it is today, if it wasn’t for men like Ed there wouldn’t really be this many answers,” Spencer said honestly.
Another student put her hand up, “what’s the worst thing he did in your opinion?”
That racked his brain, there was a handful of horrific things he did that were particularly horrific, “probably his mother's entire murder.”
“What did he do?”
Before Spencer could answer he saw Peggy open her mouth and start explaining. “He not only cut off her head and fucked her neck, but he also took her vocal cords out and shoved them down the garbage disposal. And before he called the cops, he cleaned everything up and made her look presentable because he said his mother wouldn’t want guests to see the mess.”
The class all cringed, sinking into their seats with disgust. But that didn’t stop Peggy from explaining it all further.
“He used to go to a bar all the cops went to and he would talk about his case. They would always one-up themselves and say they were close which gave him this false idea that they were on his tail and they’d find his mother soon. But when they didn’t, he called it in from a payphone and said he’d come over and explain it all. And boy did he ever, the cops said he wouldn’t shut up. And then when they put him in the cop car finally, a woman walked past him and he threw up.”
Spencer watched her with awe, the way she could call information to memory like that was beautiful. He listened to her like he’s never heard a fact before, she was so intriguing.
“Thank you for the detail,” he teased her lightly. “Sometimes I get so caught up that the really gross parts get swept aside.”
The class smiled at him, he had gained their trust and attention within only 1 hour of class.
“I know you said you don’t have a favourite,” another student asked from the back. “I agree it’s weird, but who is the one you gravitate towards the most?”
“I’ve met hundreds of serial killers, I’ve read about thousands,” he explained. “I think Ed Kemper is the one I gravitate the most around because he was so willing and open to explaining why he is the way he is. Going as far as to say that the only way they could keep women safe is to give him a lobotomy. He didn’t believe there was any correcting to be done, only removal of the evil within him.”
He heard slight mumbles as everyone took in what he said. “Does anyone here have a killer or a case that interested them in learning more, or just introduced you to the chase of justice?”
Peggy put her hand up, “I personally think BTK is the scariest, most tactical, and just downright evil man to ever exist. He scares me to no end but he’s so interesting to learn about.”
“Ahh,” Spencer agreed. “Too bad you won't be here for week 3. But with that I think I’ll end the class, next week we’ll be discussing the difference between Ted Bundy and Richard Speck.” He nodded lightly, watching the majority of them close their books and had on out.
“I really enjoyed the class,” she said softly. Holding her purse in one hand, a collection of files in the other.
Spencer turned to look at her then, smiling right back. “It was a pleasure to teach alongside you.”
“What do you mean?” She teased, “it’s not like my mom and dad were the ones who did all the interviews."
“Carr,” he repeats her last name. The gears turning in his mind as he brings all the information forth.
“Your mother is Wendy Carr, she was recruited after the BTK case with Bill Tench, she’s who was behind that study you mentioned.”
“I know,” she smiled.
“Who’s your father?”
“Guess,” she looked at him with an unimpressed look on her face, pushing her glasses up slightly.
“You’re kidding? Gideon never said he had a daughter let alone a,” he stops himself before he can embarrass himself any further.
She smiled at the implication of his words, “but he’s told me all about you Dr. Reid, that’s why I'm here.”
“You need help with a case and I’m the only agent in Virginia currently,” he pressed his lips together awkwardly. Knowing it was too good to be true that she would have any interest in him in the slightest.
“No actually, I have a case I’ve been working on privately and I need some help. I asked my dad but he said you’d be able to help me the best. I agree,” she corrected him softly. “I wasn’t kidding when I said I was a big fan of yours. When I would sit in and watch his lectures, before he knew I was his kid, you would always step in at the best parts, adding the smallest details to the story that the average person would forget. It’s magnificent.”
He laughed slightly, tugging at his collar as she complimented him. “Thank you, you’re quite magnificent as well,” he replied with a blush and a smile
She didn’t look like Gideon, probably because she smiled so much. Like sunshine on legs, she beamed, all but blinding him with her smile as she stared at him, “do you want to get lunch and go over this case with me?”
“I’d love to.”
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pure-kirarin · 3 years ago
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Slow & Steady [P3] [Sabo x f!reader] (+18)
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A/N : Hi !! sorry for publishing this later than I expected, but I got a beta reader and we worked on this chapter for longer. Please do tell me if you like this more <3 We put a lot of effort into it. Now, enjoy !~ Genre : Romance - Smut - Bestfriends to lovers General warnings : Alcohol consumption - Dark themes - Swearing - S m u t - possessiveness - Mention of ex-relationships - jealousy
Synopsis : Isn’t love a matter of timing after all ?That’s what Sabo has always thought. It was about finding the right tempo, making the right moves and hitting the right spot. Patience is a virtue after all, and he had a lot of it. It all started when your ex cheated on you. You were heartbroken, you needed someone and he was there. Was he always that hot ? You didn’t know. But after that night you have never seen him in the same way. Also, please guys comment because this is the first work I put so much efforts in. If I feel like people don't like it, it just feels not worth it to me and discourages me :( I have 2 other multichapters planned but I am thinking of abandoning them because people don't seem to like it...Anyways, please do interact if you like it :)
Part I - Part II -
In the last chapter :
You looked at Sabo go away and you followed him shortly after. Meanwhile Ace was sitting on the couch and watching some movies. You went back home and was quite tormented. It wasn’t the right time to worry as you had your assignments and studies to deal with. On one hand, you didn’t even have the time to think of your ex boyfriend and his cheating but on the other, you felt like you were let down by Sabo.
But why ? He didn’t do anything.
He just found himself a new friend and a potential new girlfriend.He didn’t even talk about her, but why where you so upset by him meeting her ? After all, he had the right to date just like you always did.A few days have passed and you didn’t get the chance to talk to Sabo. Your exams were getting closer and closer and you didn’t feel ready.Usually, Sabo would help you with your assignments but you were too scared to ask. You realized how much you relied on him and how he has been always there for you.
Who were you exactly to him ?
Maybe you took him for granted.
As you were on your bed looking at the ceiling and trying to collect every drop of motivation in your system to study, you heard your phone ring. It was Sabo’s ringtone !
P III
“Hi (Y/N),how are you doing?”
“Oh, Sabo! I'm fine. Kinda busy studying. And you? Haven't heard from you since last time.”
“Sorry about that. My schedule has been extremely tight lately. But I am free now!”
“I was just thinking of you. I have to turn in my history assignment tonight and I might need your help...Pleaaaaaase~ I know you're so good at history, please come save me!”
You could hear him laugh on the other side of the line. His laugh sounded so bright, making your heart flutter. You really did miss him. In the end, you were best friends, right?
“Alright! I'll come rescue you. After all, I have to make up for disappearing.”
“Sabo, you're the best! Would you mind coming to my place?”
“I'll be there in twenty minutes. See you then.”
“See you!”
Hanging up, you thought to yourself: you’ve never been this happy to see Sabo. You rolled on your bed in excitement. Twenty minutes seemed enough to make your room and yourself look somewhat presentable, he has never seen your messy room before. Fifteen minutes later, Sabo was in your room, both of you sat on the bed and started studying. Sabo had always been a top student, he was passionate about history in particular. Helping with your assignments was never a big deal to him.
Now that you gave it some thought, maybe most of your good grades were thanks to his help. He had tutored you many times when you were both in high school and that stayed a constant in your life even now.. Once you finished and sent the file to your professor, it was already late afternoon and Sabo was putting on his coat to go back home.
You had almost forgotten about what happened last week because of all the studying. Things weren't awkward anymore. But you wanted to bring it up because you couldn't help but think about the words he said.
“Sabo ?”
He turned back and looked at you with a smile.
“Yes? Do you need something else?”
“Don't go, I want to...  I want to ask you a question.” You patted the place next to you on the bed.
“Are you alright? You look very pale.” He sat next to you and the proximity made you extremely nervous. Although he had been close to you so many times before, you wondered why this time his proximity was affecting you so. The built up tension was getting unbearable. You could feel the knot in your stomach tighten, but you had to do it, you had to relieve yourself from this situation, otherwise it will still preoccupy you. With a nervous toss of your hair, you asked him, your eyes fixated somewhere on his chest :
“Well...Did I say something weird to you last time?”
“Last time?” he repeats in apparent confusion..
“Well, you know, when I got drunk, did I say something weird?...when you took me back home…”
You didn't even dare look at his face.
“Oh...nothing worth mentioning. Don't worry.” A sweet smile.
Oh, really now? I asked you to fuck me and you're saying “nothing fucking worth mentioning”? Bullshit.
...Or did I make all of that up?
“Didn't I…” you stop, clearing your throat, “didn't I ask you..to...well, you know…” You looked away in exasperation, annoyed that you had to say this and that you could feel your face quickly heating up. You felt your helplessness more fully now as you were discreetly looking at him to guess his reaction. Your eyes were shy and avoiding, looking his way then looking away continuously, almost instinctively.
“Hm? What?” He was amused, the bastard.
“Well...Didn't I ask you to fuck me or something?”
He burst out laughing, looking at your flushed face and the way you said that so fast that he was tempted to tap his ear and tell you that he didn't hear you quite well, but he simply refrained. That would be too much teasing.
For now.
And it wasn't the right time
yet.
“Ha, that.” He marked a pause, “it's only worth mentioning if you want to.”
You bit your lower lip, so he did remember…”Well, about that…”
“Just ask me to and I'll forget.”
But what if I don't want you to forget? You fucking idiot. When did you turn out to be this hot? Did seeing his morning wood put me in such a mood? Do I have this little self-respect? Risking our friendship like this?
He leaned closer to you so that his face was only centimeters away.
His minty breath was ghosting over your cheek;
“But just so you know, there's no going back.”
Was this the same Sabo from a few minutes ago? Was he really tempted to have sex with you? You felt flattered. You thought about Nami's words. Was he really into you? You felt insecure.
You've never felt insecure before.
You contemplated the idea for a second. You had just broken up with your boyfriend and you were now yearning to get fucked by your best friend - a guy that you've never even seen in that way before.
But how many things did you truly know about Sabo? How many things were you not seeing and being unaware of when it came to this man? You were slowly coming to the realization that he had been keeping a lot of things private - his personal life and thoughts mostly held close to himself at all times.
It was always about you in this friendship. And he was patient, oh so patient. You wanted to see all these sides to him that you've never seen before. It was like discovering the hidden door of a secret Eden.
You closed your eyes. You knew that he wouldn't hurt your feelings. You trusted him. You wanted this. You wanted to break the spell that got you dreaming of what you were denied.
You nodded and his smile widened ; Here you were falling, finally.
“I didn't expect anything less from you. What a brave girl you are. I was waiting for you to bring this up. Took you quite a long time.”
He twirled a strand of your hair between his fingers, pressing his hot lips on your forehead. Your breath stopped for a second, eyes closed tightly. You weren't used to this tension, your heart was beating uncomfortably fast.
Where did the prude Sabo that you always imagined go? He was acting normal a few moments ago, and now this? This was definitely more, or at least different than whatever you would have expected.
Your cheeks warmed up at his praise, you were just like a little girl that was given a piece of candy. But you wanted way more.
“Now that I think of it… you haven’t been really good, have you? You said things that you shouldn't have. You’ve tested my patience quite a bit the other day, baby.”
It sounded so natural, the way he called you baby, as if he had always done it. It surprisingly took you not even two seconds to adjust to this new Sabo that you saw. In hindsight, you think you might’ve longed for this Sabo, one who is so open and expressive with you.
“Huh ? What are you on 'bout ? I still stand by my position…”
Saying this was a bad idea.
He raised an eyebrow.
"I mean, it's true, I've never seen you with a girl before. Wouldn't be surprised if you were a virgin. But it's okay, I don't mind… well… teaching you…”
You looked away. It felt a bit off, as if you were playing a role but you were very much into it. There had always been that bratty side to you that he loved so much. He smirked, rolling his eyes. Always with the tough talk huh? He thought.
Smiling knowingly, he reached out for your face. He gently gripped your chin between two fingers, brushing his thumb over your lower lip as he said,
“Looks like you need a good lesson.” He shoved two gloved fingers into your mouth, taking you by surprise and making you instantly back off a bit.
“Hmm. Let's put this dirty mouth of yours to better use.”
He took his fingers out of your mouth, leaving a leathery aftertaste on your tongue. His arm encircled your waist and he held you up effortlessly, securing you against his lap. As you were just wearing a dress, you could feel him getting hard through your panties and you couldn't help but tighten your thighs at this feeling, getting instantly turned on. When did you start wanting him this much?
The corner of his lips curled up as he saw you already getting eager from a simple touch. His arm held your hips in place so you didn’t move around.
He replaced his fingers with his lips, kissing you hungrily. It was nothing like that drunken kiss that you both shared the other night. His tongue got you feeling butterflies in your stomach, heart pounding so hard as you pressed your chest against his, seeking his warmth.
You were going have sex with your best friend and he had a huge dick and he was nothing close to the vanilla prude guy that you expected him to be. You were thrilled. Everything happened so fast. You never realized that you were so desperate for his touch.
You tangled your fingers into his blond locks, moaning into the kiss. You pulled away, cheeks ablaze, impressed by his skills.
“You're a good kisser…”
“Look at you getting all worked up by a kiss...Tell me, who's the virgin here, huh?”
You blushed at his remark and looked away. Cute, he thought to himself.
But it wasn't enough. Not yet. With a sense of urgency, you kissed him again as if it was your last chance to taste his lips. His pace was slower, he wanted to take his time to enjoy this moment while you wanted to rush it up and go to the next step. Breathless, you pull away, hesitant and curious.
“Sabo, do you… Do you like me?”
“I do.” He put his forehead against yours, making you  look deeply into his eyes. The look he was giving you seemed unfamiliar, making you feel intimidated. How did he hide his feelings so well and why did he say them now?If he said he liked me before, would it have been differentWhat changed within him, to make him act like this and most importantly, what changed within you to make you need him so badly? You dipped in for a kiss, trying to get a grasp on your feelings. It didn't feel weird, it felt good, as if you had wanted it for so long.
“Sabo,” you stuttered. He loved the way your voice cracked, how hesitant you were, how your cheekiness disappeared, leaving behind only your conflicted emotions. “I thought about what you said last time and...I...I think I want to. Now.” You emphasised on the last word, goading him into agreeing.
A victorious smile danced on his lips.
“You think?”
He smirked and lifted your chin up so you could look right into his eyes. You couldn't help but close the gap between the two of you, shamelessly rocking on his thighs to get some friction. You kept thinking about the words he had said when you were drunk, you really wanted him. Yes, maybe it was just lust. Maybe it was just a strong desire to sabotage the most precious thing that you had. But for now, you needed his warmth. He pulled back, making you groan in displeasure like a cat in heat. He smiled, his lips barely grazing yours and added,
“You're not ready yet, kitten.”
The look of disappointment on your face said it all. You couldn't believe he turned you down. Once again. You were so adorable, for a moment he thought that he would just snap and take you right there.
“What do you mean ‘I'm not ready yet’ ?! I just said I was. I want you too. That's what I said. I'm sober now, I'll recall how good you are.”
“Patience is a virtue.”
He smiles, and you would’ve given years off your life just to punch him. You could swear you still felt him hard against you and he was acting so composed. You didn't want to let him go.
You were scared that if you did, he would disappear into dust. You felt so desperate, so humiliated.Dying for his attention and heartbroken from past experiences.
“I have to go now.” He lifts you up with ease, placing you on the bed again. He then put his coat on. You looked at him leave with puppy eyes and for a second he hesitated. He was tempted to change his mind. But he had waited for so long and he couldn't afford to ruin everything now. Not when you were so close, so ready and eager to take him.
“Don't go.” You pleaded.
“And who will feed Ace?” He says with a smile.
“I don't care. Don't go…” You got up and hugged him from behind, tightly, letting your mask fall. His departure and abrupt ending of the tense situation he had placed you in, his act so nonchalant, had awakened some insecurity within you.It was driving you insane.
You were confused.
His heart melted at your sweetness. He remembered the reason behind his love for you. You were so fragile, so honest.
“I really have to go, princess.” How could he say such things so easily? “But I promise that I will make up for it next time.”
---
Tag list : @vemuabhi @chloe-abbacchio @mwls-garden @soanywaysistartedsimping @portgaslari @lofi-coffee If you wanna get tagged just ask for it :)
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n-blanca-archived · 4 years ago
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↳ CLASS 1-A HC’S TO MAKE YOU SMILE (hopefully) 
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A/N: i’ve been on class-1a brainrot (yes, all of them. collectively) for SO LONG and honestly? I love it here. romance is all good and dandy but FRIENDSHIP? good shit. 
on that note, these pairings are all platonic! just little things i like about their dynamics or things i think they’d do when they hang out :) feel free to see them as romantic though, not like i can stop you :P
p.s sorry for dipping??? for like months???
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genre: fluff
warnings: minor situational angst
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→ Denki & Izuku
❑ These two boys are the other’s hype-man, totally. Kaminari absolutely does not mind sitting through Izuku’s ravings about the fluctuating hero rankings, or even just the times where Izuku mutters on and on. 
❑ Kaminari’s been ignored enough times to know that it doesn’t feel good at all to want to talk to someone and for them to sheepishly tell you they’d long since stopped listening. Izuku does the same for Denki, no question. Sometimes Denki starts talking, and he doesn’t really...stop. 
❑ But Izuku finds it’s nice to hang out with the boy, and he doesn’t mind not contributing to the conversation when Denki looks so elated to see someone listening for once. 
❑ While I will forever be the number one advocate for Bakugou tutoring Denki and finding different studying strategies that work for Denki instead of giving up on him, I think Izuku’s just as likely to do that for kami! 
❑ It’s a frustrating first session, but once Izuku’s brian suggests that Kami might just need another method of studying, he takes that idea and runs with it. 
❑ The next week, kami goes to Izuku’s room a little afraid of the freckled boy rejecting him- but to his surprise, Izuku presents him with all types of new study methods, including colored index cards and a home-made sentence reader that covered the entire page except for one line at a time.
❑ (yes, he did tear up for a second.) 
❑ They end up going through that week's chapter in half the time it usually took Denki to get a subject, and they got to play video games afterward! 
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→ Ochako & Katsuki
❑ While I don't think the boys in 1-A look down on the girls in the sense of "but they're girls so they are weaker :(" all that much- Katsuki was the first and only one really to make that clear. He didn't see her as something or someone to pity. She was an opponent and a damn capable one at that.
❑ So, yes. Maybe Ochako and Katsuki aren't exactly best friends who'd die for each other. But they’ve proven to each other that if there's someone who'll bring their all to a fight no matter the circumstance, it's each other.
❑ Ochako’s weariness when it came to Katsuki was short lived. It was kind of hard to be so...afraid of someone who treated you better than others seemed to coddle her when she told them she was a hero-in-training. 
❑ It starts small, too. At first it was just teaming up occasionally during class for spars. Then it was going to the gym after school with Katsuki and Eijirou. 
❑ Tiny little hang-outs like that then turn into joining the blonde on his morning runs every once in a while, and eventually Ochako found herself seeking out Bakugou every weekend, and the blonde seemed to be on the same mind-track, too. Every Sunday, when Ochako pulled open the front door, she spotted Katsuki, stretching out in the front lawn, waiting for her. 
❑ (and if they occasionally have breakfast together after their bi-weekly sunday training sessions, then that's their business.)
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→ Shouto & Eijirou
❑ them hanging out wasn't really ever. Expected. Like, at all.
❑ but kirishima's shown that he has a knack for weird, almost hostile awkward boys with low friend counts
❑ so shouto fits right in
❑ really it starts when Kirishima finds Shouto in the common room, staring into space. Usually he'd leave him be, but it was weird to see the boy without his group of friends joining him
❑ in an effort to get to know shouto better, kiri offers to play a few rounds of super smash bros,,, and shouto just. blinks. at him. And kiri blinked back for a second before he realizes shouto didn't know what super smash bros was
❑ and of course, to kiri, that's absolute blasphemy
❑ so kiri abandons his trip to the kitchen in favor of sitting next to shouto on the couch, and teaching him how to play as many video games as they could fit in one night
❑ (the first time kiri sees shouto laugh, he can't help the way his face splits into a grin. Todoroki, while not mean, was someone who came off as cold most of the time, so to see him so relaxed made Eijirou feel warm.)
❑ somehow it becomes a regular thing-- shouto would come downstairs, and eventually Kirishima would show up. Sometimes they were both alone, sometimes they were surrounded by their friend groups. But every time without fail, Kirishima would take his place next to shouto, hand him the blue controller that he favored, and turned on the TV to select the first game they'd be playing
❑ (watching Shouto start to gain some of Kirishima's vernacular was also an interesting - read:hilarious - experience)
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→ Mina & Yuga
❑break dancing buddies
❑ like. I'm not kidding these two have moves.
❑ well. Mina does, at least. Aoyama gets it pretty quickly but it took him a second to familiarize himself with how your body moves when your break dancing.
❑ aoyama's danced ballet most of his life, so dancing wasn't new to him
❑ but this particular type of dancing was new to him- so of course he reached out to mina after the UA festival
❑ mina, ever the angel, agreed!!!!! Dancing buddies!!!
❑ Mina's also loved dance for a good amount of time
❑ it started in middle school, and just carried into highschool. The idea of being to express yourself with your /body/ was exciting, plus you looked really cool while doing it too!
❑ so when she gets asked by Aoyama to teach him how to breakdance she's nervous, but completely giddy to be able to be someone else's intro to a hobby that was a big part of her life
❑ it's not an uncommon sight to see mina and Aoyama, in their workout clothes, working through moves Step by step with Mina's phone blasting some random song that was beat heavy
❑ (Aoyama would be an interesting extra add on to the bakusquad. Am I wrong? No 🚗)
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→ Hanta & Tsuyu
❑ Sero never really interacted with tsuyu, not to say he didn't like her! she just wasn't in his social circle
❑ so to say he felt awkward when he found her in the corner of the library during free period- curled up and sniveling away - was an understatement
❑ still, he put down the fourth issue of a manga he was /really/ looking forward to catching up on, and sat next to her until she calmed down enough to tell him what's wrong
❑ turns out, winter always sucked and made her tired, which made her sad. Added on to the already existing amphibian instincts in her that hated loud noises or too many people, it could get really overwhelming for her
❑ Sero offered to let her into his room whever she wanted to hang out in the quiet, if she felt embarrassed to do so with her closer friends
❑ she seemed surprised, but quickly agreed.
❑ Sero wouldn't tell her, but he often felt the same in a sense. The only two people in his friend group who could be relatively quiet in more personal settings were Bakugou, ironically, and Kirishima. So he often found himself leaving group hang-outs just a little early, to destress in his quiet room.
❑ tsuyu hadn't expected him to stay with her, and especially not offer his room to her whenever she needed to get away. Still, she agreed, knowing she'd probably never take him up on his offer
❑ she was proven wrong three days later, when Ochako squealed about...something.
❑ tsuyu couldn't say for sure what the floaty girl was yelling about. Normally she was attentive, really! But her head was throbbing and she was on the verge of falling asleep then and there when Ochako burst into a loud yell of excitement, startling the frog-like girl
❑ so tsuyu gathered her stuff as quickly as her sluggish body allowed, rushed out a quick goodbye to her baffled friends and made her way to the dorms
❑ the elevator was a struggle, with the humming of the machinery almost lulling her to sleep. She made it out successfully, though due to her drowsiness and increasingly blurring vision, she realized just a little too late that she had wandered down the wrong hallway
❑ sero's name plate made her stutter in her tracks, but after a moment of deliberation that left her swaying on her feet, she knocked as strongly as she could on the thin door, hoping the lanky boy was in his room
❑ thankfully, he was, and he only offered her a small smile before ushering her into the room and guiding her to his bed. Tsuyu thinks she croaked out a tiny "thanks", but she couldn't really be sure
❑ she slept better in those 39 minutes than she had in weeks
❑ after that, tsuyu somehow got into the habit of wandering down the opposite hallway once she left the elevator, and most of the time Sero would open his door when she knocked, only giving her a smile before letting her wander to his bed or, more commonly, the pile of blankets and bean bags he had in a corner of his room.
❑ (she wouldn't admit it, and neither would he, but the times where they walked back to his dorm together once their free period began were their favorites. and the days where tsuyu wasn't so sleepy and they talked for the hour they had weren't so bad, either)
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okokok i’m cutting it here since that last section was super long! who knew i had so much to say about hanta and tsuyu ,,,, 
anyway! this was super fun, so i’ll definitely be doing stuff like this more in the future. if you have two characters you’d particularly like to see, don’t be afraid to jump into my ask box! 
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boop-le-snoot · 4 years ago
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PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 15
first time reader - click here
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TW/SUMMARY: Is bad humour a trigger? Cards against humanity. Loki in the wild. Chaotic Tony, chaotic Reader. Team bonding, a gag chapter lmao
My beta is babey 🥺 @miscmarvelwritings
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If someone had bothered to ask me what kind of relationship I had with Tony, it would've made my brain glitch. In the weeks we spent fucking, sciencing and hanging out with the Avengers, it never once crossed my mind. We had fun and it was easy. Unlike both of our lives, it didn't require much mental energy for us to get what we wanted from each other. For me, it was easier to ignore my skin aching for Tony when he was already spending so much time on me. I wasn't sure if it would ever be enough, really, so taking exactly as much as he was giving was my best bet.
We built things in his workshop with Pete by our side and it wasn't awkward. The spiderling said he was happy as long as we were happy and didn't mind it too much when Tony got handsy. The man had at least some morals and stuck to kisses, ass-slaps and lewd comments which made Peter snort and fake-retch sure, yet the boy never displayed any real discomfort. It was endearing. He really became the little brother I never thought I would have.
The sex was fantastic, to say the least. We fucked on just about every flat surface on the residential floors. Steve caught us once, although I am almost hundred percent sure Tony staged it all on purpose. The good Captain didn't even blush, instead just silently closed the door behind him as I stared in his face, gripping Tony's head with my thighs.
The weather grew dreary yet both of my parents still stayed out of New York. Mother went back to Canada and dad continued his never-ending party on the West Coast, conquering California and living his best life. My house was dark and cold, and I started hanging around the tower more often than ever. If I wasn't with Tony, I was busy catching up Wanda and Bucky on pop culture, teaching Thor how to bake cakes and doing other meaningless, domestic stuff. The Avengers tower bustled with life at all hours and there always was someone...
I never felt lonely. It was such an unusual experience. Comfort and reassurance was always one room away. Be it Thor with his gratuitous amount of physical affection or his brother's incredibly witty, dark humor, I never had to stay one-on-one with my thoughts for too long.
Personally witnessing Bruce's coming out of his shell was the highlight of my life, no lie. I was so used to the quiet, mousy Banner that my brain refused to acknowledge his amazing sense of humour at first; I wasn't sure if he was joking or ... Or what? Truth to be told, Brucie-bear was as snarky as Tony,Loki and Stephen. The sorcerer had started visiting more often too, under the guise of tutoring Wanda, but all of us saw the way he lingered in the communal areas after their study time came to an end.
If loneliness was a sickness then the tower's inhabitants and frequent visitors were beginning their recovery journey.
"Have you guys heard about Cards Against Humanity?" I asked one evening once the movie credits began rolling. Wanda was squished into my side with her legs in her brother's lap; Clint laying atop both siblings like the trash bag that he was. And I meant it fondly.
On the other side of me, I had Bucky and Loki, who had begun to discuss their respective collections of sharp and pointy things once they deemed the movie lacked action. Legally Blonde and action, did they really think..? Nevermind.
"Yes, and if you're offering, the answer is yes," Clint mumbled, reaching for his second pack of Cheetos.
We gathered in a circle as I brought the shoebox that had the original deck plus a couple of expansions. This was beginning to look interesting. "So, I have the special Avengers edition right there..."
"Say no more," Clint even abandoned his snacks. "But I'mma put on the episode of Lucifer I missed. Multitasking," He winked, wrestling the remote from Pietro. We waited patiently as they finished the obligatory round of horsing before settling down for the game.
I explained the rules of the game, choosing to disregard Loki's scoffing and Wanda's doubt about the quality of the humor in the game. We played a few rounds with me explaining some of the deeper pop culture references. At a point where all of us were engrossed, laughing and poking fun at each other, more of the Avengers parked themselves on the couch.
Stephen, Tony and Bruce evidently had been sciencing, all three men having had their safety goggles perched forgotten atop their heads. Sam, Natasha and Steve - probably sparring. All three of them brought the smell of soap and laundry detergent to the room. All of the newcomers observed us with mild interest, periodically glance at the TV.
It was Wanda's turn to be the card Czar. I had to take a moment to finish my last giggling fit.
"Okay, the white card goes..." She paused dramatically. "I never truly understood blank until I encountered blank." With that, she poked the timer app on her phone. The sixty second countdown began.
I did a quick inventory check. Then I snorted. I had to quickly stuff two knuckles in my mouth, biting down, to attempt to silence the hysterical fit of laughter I was on the brink of. Loki was definitely going to stab me but the opportunity was too good to pass. No fear, we die like men.
"Ooh, she's got something," Clint teased, having noticed my shaking shoulders.
The timer beeped. Naturally, Loki went first. He wore a mildly disgusted smirk. "I never truly understood parting the red sea until I encountered third base," The trickster caved and began chuckling.
Somewhere behind me, Sam and Tony began cackling while Stephen and Steve groaned loudly in mild distaste.
"Press F to pay respects," Pietro clapped Loki on the shoulder with a sympathetic chuff. "I raise you - I never truly understood licking things to claim as your own until I encountered the clitoris," The young avenger struggled through laughter, followed by everyone else this time.
"That's a keeper, ladies," Sam's rich baritone quipped.
I laughed along, inwardly preparing for the inevitable. "Yikes," I whispered, side-eyeing Loki. "I never truly understood daddy issues..." I trailed off, hearing Bucky and Steve beginning to tease Tony. "... Until I encountered Loki, the trickster God."
The room drowned in a sea of laughter, Tony and Clint busting a gut so hard they fell over. Said trickster God was less than amused, however, glaring in my direction with the force of a pissed off bee swarm.
"Ow, that's cold, Princess, that's just cold," Clint squeezed out.
"Loki," I abandoned my stack of cards, crawling over Pietro and Bucky on all fours, settling prettily on my knees in front of Loki. Making my very best puppy eyes. "I love you, with all my cold black heart. And you're technically the patron saint of fun and shit, so that means you must approve of this very clever joke," I pouted, batting my eyelashes.
"Baby girl, I think you're laying it on too thick," Tony gasped, slumping on the couch, holding his sides. Everyone kept laughing, now at my feeble attempt at placating the upset Loki.
Who, by the way, looked a bit spooked. Subtly but surely, the raven-haired Asgardian leaned away from me.
"Don't be mad, I'm too cute to be mad at," I finally snorted, pat-pat-patting him on the shoulder. "It's okay, you can join my club. We have hot old dudes and cookies."
That broke it. First, the corner of his mouth twitched. Then, Loki looked away. I saw the storm before it crashed; with a weird noise of his own and his cheeks puffed out, Loki joined in on the shit-fest, howling full volume and doubling over. I followed suit, until all of us were writhing around on the floor. We'd stop and then someone would make another remark and it would go into another round again.
"Menace," Loki scoffed at me, smiling. "And for the record, the hottest old dude, as you put it, would be me." That said, he went back to calmly waiting for his next turn. "I'm about a thousand years old."
"Thor's older," Bruce noted thoughtfully.
Loki scoffed. "That man cannot chew with his mouth shut. If that's considered attractive, I'm leaving this forsaken planet."
That struck a thought within me. One that was brewing a long time, to be honest. "Thor is the god of himbos," I said with the same tone as "Eureka!".
"Shit, you're right," Sam exclaimed, following with another, weaker fit of laughter meanwhile Bruce had to be the one explaining the term to the poor, poor, clueless members of the Avengers.
I need to find a way to award them some kind of points for learning the gen-z lingo. "Patrick" stars maybe, since they lived under a fucking rock?
"Princess, never a boring day with you around. You don't half-ass this shit," Tony's warmth reached me as he shuffled around on the couch, sitting directly behind me. I leaned my back against his legs.
"I'm not a clown," I shot back. Tony stiffened. Dramatically flailing my hand I announced: "I am the whole god-damn circus!"
As the game progressed, we found out that Clint was That Guy - meaning, the dude every CAH group had, the one who grossly overused the "Bees?!" card and made Star Wars references whenever humanly possible. The only even slightly funny joke was about a lightsaber up the ass, in the end all of us finding out that Bucky knew a little too much about modern sex toys - "Hey, I saw one on Amazon, I'll send you the link, Birdman" - to Steve's open-mouthed horror.
What Loki lacked in references he made up in wit. The play on "During sex, I like to think about genetically engineered supersoldiers" had Bucky scrambling to switch places with Wanda whilst Loki himself was attempting to shoot bedroom eyes at Steve. It was a mess.
Bucky's own play had Steve abandon all pretense at being in any way appropriate as he struggled for air. "The Avengers new rules prohibit using Mjölnir as a dildo." Me and Tony became somewhat of a messy guffawing octopus of limbs for a moment after the super-soldier said it.
"Don't. Tell. Thor!" Strange gritted out, hiding his laughter behind a palm, uncharacteristically having lost his stuffy attitude. By god's will the man was attractive when he smiled.
As time ticked, each one of the starting players had attracted a newcomer. There weren't enough cards for everyone to play (Tony had, of course, ordered additional ones but they wouldn't arrive until the next day) so people kind of whispered and pointed at what they thought would fit.
Natasha conspired with Wanda, Sam went to his bird-bro, Bruce was forcefully dragged by Bucky to his side. Surprisingly, Steve teamed up with Loki which made Pietro stick his nose up in the air and promptly declare he needed no backup.
I already had Tony on my side. The genius wasn't of much help, however, he simply annoyed me out of my skull by randomly giggling and making immature jokes. It should've alarmed me that Stephen was eager to join me and Tony - usually he just butted heads with anyone who had any opinion whatsoever.
I was left bewildered upon discovering the wizard liked drama as much as the Kardashian clan and was quite competitive at causing the most shit.
My clown crown felt threatened.
"This one," Tony poked at a card in my hand.
"If you think that's funny, your intellect is obviously overestimated." Stephen dismissively waved a hand. "This one," It was unmistakable whom the trembling finger belonged to. It pointed at a card on the other side.
"Wizards are just hilarious," Tony seeped sarcasm.
"Try me, Beyonce," Stephen murmured darkly.
That was just background noise to me. I had all my undivided attention on the TV, my last two functioning brain cells focused on the scene unfolding right in front of me. The Lucifer episode, the devil and his insatiable thirst for honey. The timer buzzed but I was still drawn towards Tom Ellis dipping two of his fingers first in the honeypot, then in his mouth, all the while looking like a damn snack himself. Illegal. I've never simped so hard for a fictional character.
A golden glow snatched a card out of my grasp, levitating it.
"Girl, what the hell?" Wanda saw my face and attempted to revert me back to earth. "Someone turn off the TV, there's not enough water in the tower to quench her thirst."
"Hey, did you two just - don't ignore me!" Tony whined, managing to tug on my hair and attempt to reach for the card now held in Stephen's grasp, simultaneously.
"I don't blame her," Clint mused. "That right there is one very fine dude."
I shook my head, clearing any untoward thoughts. Focus. "First of all, Bird, you're a dude. That there," I pointed up at the TV. "Is a man. A Man." I emphasised, getting a jealous poke in the back from Tony. "Second of all..." I turned towards Stephen. "The quaffle, the snitch and the AUDACITY OF THIS BITCH!" The last of my sentence was pitched. The sorcerer had raised his arm, clutching the card, and I struggled to reach it.
"What... What did you just say?" Stephen was laughing, not at all phased by me climbing him like a tree to take hold of what's mine. Tony was actively helping - or, trying to. One-handed. The other hand attempted to snatch the rest of the cards from my grasp.
"And that's an F on teamwork," Bucky's sarcasm was complemented by Steve's famous Captain America Is Disappointed In You look.
"Uhh... Guys? What's going on?" Peter's timid voice leaked confusion.
"Hello, friends," Thor boomed, drowning out the boy's questioning noises.
"We're playing a game. Cards Against Humanity."
Wordlessly, Peter towed Thor along with him to find a spot amongst us. And even if Thor didn't get any of the references, he still was good fun. His laugh was infectious. The way he cheered for every winner was incredibly wholesome. Golden space puppy. The urge to immediately pet Thor and give him endless pop-tarts was strong in me.
Loki was one dramatic, vengeful bitch. "Women get turned on by the Devil himself"? I was ready to throw hands with the trickster. Everybody's laughter drowned out any cursing I might or might have not directed towards Loki who looked far too satisfied with himself. I was going to substitute the sugar for his tea with salt one day, mark my words.
I wouldn't admit it over my dead body, but the way he got back at me for the daddy issues joke was kinda funny. Okay, very funny. It was fucking hilarious. I admire a clever man.
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THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit ​ @littlegasps ​ @pilloclock ​ @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads ​ @hermione-grangers-wife ​ @individualistfem ​ @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby
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lexilucacia · 4 years ago
Note
Hi, can you write something where Chase is in a stable and healthy relationship with a girl/guy from outside of work and one day they make him lunch with cute notes inside and house finds it and then mocks him before the team ( original or the rest) and Chase goes I'm happy and that's what matters and then he goes home and proposes because he knows his partner is all he wants in life. Pls pls pls i just want him to be happy.
This prompt really spoke to me, so I’m sooooo sorry to everyone else’s I haven’t written yet, but when inspiration strikes, it just does!
Title: Little notes For Chase
Words: 3031
Tags: Marriage Proposal ×Weddings ×Fluff ×House Being House ×Secret Relationship ×Love Letters ×(or notes really) ×love notes ×thats not a tag ×Love Confessions ×Cross-Posted on Tumblr ×Tumblr Prompt ×Teasing ×Happy Ending ×Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts ×Author Is Sleep Deprived ×I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping ×POV Robert Chase ×
Pairings: Robert Chase/OMC
https://archiveofourown.org/works/29378082
Chase smiled again at the little note that his partner had slipped inside his lunch bag. They never failed to make him smile from the ones that had long extravagant messages to the small ‘I love u!’s that often made an appearance on a busy morning. He can’t really remember how it started, he thinks it must have been a late night where Chase was a bit too tired to pack his own bag (and that made him sound like a school kid). So, Felix had packed food for him, sending him off to work with a kiss and a ‘I love you’. 
He had seen the yellow postie flutter to the ground, catching in his grip recognising it as one of his partner’s lucky posties with ducks in the corners. The little message had caught him off guard, he’d expected his boyfriend’s weird rambles that he left around the house accidentally packed in his bag, but instead it was a little smiley face and a love heart. The note read, ‘don’t forget that you are loved (especially by me)’ with little hat drawn onto the printed cartoon duck.
He clutched the note to his chest, pinning it up in his locker once his lunch break was over. They didn’t speak of it, but at night, after Chase had thought Felix was asleep he pressed a soft kiss to his nape, and squeezed him a little tighter. 
The notes had become a constant in his life, he was used to finding one sitting one behind the toothpaste holder, one in the cabinet next to a new box of his favourite cereal and occasionally in his textbooks when he was studying for requalifications. He still found notes in his lunchbox, his favourite sitting next to a picture of him and his beloved. This one in particular read ‘I know I don’t have to woo you my love, you’d never leave me. But if you did, let’s just say I know an abandoned warehouse, you’re with me for the long haul.’ 
Chase had almost cried at that one and had wanted to pull out the wedding ring he’d put in the back of his cupboard a few months prior, that very night. Felix’s warped, wacky and weird sense of humour was the reason Chase loved him so much. He nevertheless stopped himself, unable to forgive himself if Felix didn’t get the proposal he deserved, goddamnit. 
They’d talked about marriage a lot, but neither had popped the question and Chase wanted to make the day that he did perfect (if Felix didn’t beat him to it at this rate). He was falling more in love with the man and his endearing notes, not that he’d thought it was possible and most days he thought his heart might burst with love. He’d be concerned if he wasn’t a doctor and working at a hospital.
Felix always seemed to know what to say. Reminders of love and worth came on days where he couldn’t his dad’s words out of his head, notes of memories and date nights came when Chase was feeling nostalgic, and his favourite every day the assurance of love. He never knew how to repay Felix, what to do for him, so he settled on small things, things that often would come up in the notes.
He’d notice that Felix was running out of clean socks and the next day all of Felix’s socks would be lined up, folded and washed (even if he’d had a night shift), prompting the drawing of tiny socks on his next note. Or Chase unloading the dishwasher, or putting Felix’s books away when he fell asleep with them on his chest. 
Both of them savoured these small things, tokens of their love, their bliss and domesticity. It all seemed to be going well, until one day Chase was careless. His boss House had all but ordered a team lunch, so there was no way out with his dignity (or secrets as it may be). 
Lunch started out normal, or normal as it could be with House and his nosey (pining in one case) colleagues, Cameron and Foreman, so he should have expected this. Chase pulled out his lunch bag, ignoring the snickering from House about how gay it looked and set to work digging through to see what food Felix had packed today. Inside it held a vegemite sandwich, a few pieces of chopped up fruit, juice box and a small lamington they’d purchased earlier in the week.
It honestly looked like a school lunch, House teasing him as such as he ignored his definitely flaming cheeks and certainly beet red ears. He was almost (not really) pleased to see the lack of a note perching in his bag, until something yellow fluttered past his eye, reminding him of the first day. Before he could smile goofily at the memory and snatch up his note, a loud sound rang out in the cafeteria.
The yellow disappeared under a familiar stump of wood, that Chase was used to hearing click down the halls of PPTH. The man had surprisingly quick reflexes (only when it embarrassed Chase of course) and the paper made a loud sound as it slid along the floor to House’s foot. The thrum of his heart beat and the scraping of the paper was all he could hear as the cafeteria noise was muffled around him. 
The older man picked up the note, capturing the attention of a few tables around them and the new people sitting at their table. House scrunched his eyes at the note, crinkling his nose in distaste at contents and reading it disdainfully.
“3 years i’ve put up with your ugly mug and you still haven’t learnt to fold shirts properly. Date night doesn’t sound so fun now.” The note had a crudely, pencil drawn shirt on the duck, making Chase smile as he looked over House’s shoulder.
Ho honestly didn’t know whether to sob or laugh, settling for a strange mixture of both, smile wide and tears running down his face, so that the rest of the cafeteria was staring at him, if they hadn’t been before.
It was their 3 year anniversary, Felix had remembered the conversation they’d had on their first date, he had never been more in love with the man. He must have zoned back, because when he finally snapped back to snatch the note from a gaping House’s hand, he was being barraged with questions.
“3 years?”
“Why didn’t we know?”
“Who is she?”
“What’s the crying for?”
“How could you have kept this a secret?”
“Is she hot?”
“I thought you slept with everyone?”
“What about the nurses?”
Chase was already getting a headache, not in the mood for this and wanting to sneak off and call Felix, just to rant about his day or blubber about his love, whatever came out first. He put a hand out, effectively silencing everyone. He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “What do you want to know?”
Before they could all start shouting again he sighed. “One at a time.”
“Who is she? Why didn’t we know? How long Chase?” Chase had to coach his face into a neutral expression not to blow up at Cameron, the woman had made it no secret of her crush on him.
He simply raised an eyebrow, on an otherwise poker face. “His name is Felix. 3 years and I am under no obligation to share my personal life. There is a reason it’s my private life.” He glared.
Cameron looked shocked, before apologising for being rude and Chase felt a little guilty, but not enough to apologise in front of hundreds of prying eyes. He turned to Foreman who looked like he was bursting for a question.
“He?” Was all Foreman could get out, voice squeaky.
“He is the love of my life. Any more questions?”
“Knew you were too pretty to be straight.” House smirked, taking a bite into the younger man’s sandwich before spitting it out. 
“Did you try to poison me?” He shrieked.
It was Chase’s turn to smirk, picking up the offending sandwich and taking a large bite out of the other side. “I hope my boyfriend wasn’t trying to do so, it would have been me.” He exclaimed with mock horror.
He munched on the sandwich ignoring the taunts coming his way from House and walked back to his locker to put away his lunch bag and postie. Unfortunately House, Foreman and Cameron had deigned it necessary to walk him to his locker. After failed attempts to get them to walk away he opened his locker, smiling at the bright yellow notes and pictures of the two of them.
The photos detailed their story, their first date and Chase could almost feel it, smell it, taste it. Their hands damp with nervous sweat, uncomfortable suits and awkward conversation at a fancy Italian restaurant that had ended with them shucking off their ties, undoing their top buttons, kicking off their shoes and running in the rain. There was a cute, but blurry before and after photo of their date that Chase had insisted on printing for their anniversary. 
The rest of the images showed dates at DisneyLand, kisses under the mistletoe, birthdays and anniversaries spent together, hell there was even a picture of a half asleep Felix, shirtless and covered by a white sheet, Chase had taken one morning when the sun was just right and he looked like an angel in disguise. 
The post it notes took up all his locker door, some half hanging off, some stuck with blue tac, others with sticky tape and the special ones hung on a piece of string with some old pegs. It was truly an altar for his love, his life and he couldn’t be happier. Tucked behind it was an old picture of a shirtless blonde, teen, smiling widely on the beach, arm around a similar looking but younger girl, also grinning. They were holding matching surfboards and both were dripping wet from the surf, clutching ice blocks. 
Chase treasured the photo of him and his sister, but Felix took up the most space, like he did in Chase’s life. He’d bounded in and never left, from the day he’d run into him on a train and spilt coffee on him (what a cliche), while running late for one of House’s crazy ideas. Felix had filled the hole in his life that Chase hadn’t realised he’d had, life always filled with colour and joy and weirdness, with love and a warmth he’d never felt before. For once he was content, no matter what he could hear the others muttering behind him.
Foreman didn’t leave him alone the rest of the day, every time they went to do lab samples, nudging him and asking about his sex life. Cameron was more discreet but she too wanted to know everything, it wasn’t unusual behaviour for either, but it had never really been directed at him, making it disconcerting. 
House however, was acting much the same, always having teased him about the nurses, only changing the pronouns he used and adding more gay jabs than usual. It didn’t bother Chase for some reason today, maybe it was because he was too excited to see Felix, see what they were for their 3rd year anniversary, Felix had said he’d wanted to plan it this year.
As he was leaving the hospital, he was met with wolf whistles and an eyebrow raise from Cuddy (of course House had gone to her). Wilson also gave him a soft smile as he left, wishing him the next of luck Chase supposed, while House had pelted him with comments about his sex life and ‘taking it up the arse’ as he left. He didn’t care, he was floating on a cloud.
He had to stop himself from speeding home, knowing it was dangerous and Felix would definitely scold him for it, besides he didn’t want to go back to PPTH tonight. After what felt like forever he pulled up outside his house and didn’t bother waiting before he grabbed his bag, rushing up the stairs. What he saw when he entered was not what he expected, but endeared him regardless. 
Felix seemed to be juggling six pots, pans and bowls, food spilled on the counter and the faint smell of burning was what greeted him at the door. “Felix, my love?”
He called as he walked in, hanging up his coat and shucking off his shoes, going up behind his boyfriend and wrapping his hands around the smaller man’s waist. “What is this?”
Felix set everything down on the counter, turning around to give Chase a kiss and looking severely put out. 
“Robbie,” he whined. “It was supposed to be a surprise, and good, and be fantastic and awesome and it didn’t happen.”
He was pouting and giving Robbie puppy dog eyes and it felt so good to come home and be Robbie, himself, not Chase, like his father. He hummed at his partner, swaying with him and ignoring the half-hearted flails and whines to go back to the cooking.
“How about we get some take out and we’ll clean this up in the morning?” He asked, distracting the man with kisses along his freckles and pulling him impossibly closer, flushed to his hips.
Felix looked like he wanted to argue before moaning into the kiss and pulling Robbie closer. “Okay.”
They made their way over to the couch, Felix lying in Robbie’s arms while they argued over what to watch and whether Hannibal or Will was cuter. All in all it felt domestic, it felt like home. He was warm and comfortable, his brain to mouth filter had gone by now. A few too many drinks and shared thoughts about getting railed by Hannibal ensured it, but even he didn’t think he’d be this stupid.
He opened his mouth and without thinking too much about it he asked, “Will you marry me Felix?”
Felix bolted upright, jostling a sleepy Robbie who had Felix lying on top of him and was running his fingers through the smaller man’s hair, the key word being was.
“Are you serious?” Felix asked, wide eyed. He looked on the verge of tears, but the smile on his face betrayed his emotions in a second.
It took a moment for Chase to realise what he’d said, jerking himself awake. “Yeah.” He finally breathed out, suddenly breaking into a grin.
“Yeah.” Before either of them can stop it, they’re breaking out into hysterical laughter, is this what being in love is like? Chase has never felt anything as close, he wants to feel it for the rest of his life. 
“Yeah?” Chase smiles, jumping up and running to their room. He runs back out in record time, narrowly missing the coffee table and getting down on one knee just in time to see Felix sprint out of the kitchen. He opens the box up, showing the reasonable sized rock he’d gotten Felix, hoping to god that he’d like it. Felix took one look at the ring before bursting out into tears. 
“Will you be my husband?” Chase asked, smiling sheepishly. “I know it’s not a grand proposal and we just had take out and it’s on our-”
Felix shut him up with a kiss which definitely distracted Chase, then opened his own box. “As long as you’ll be mine.”
The ring Felix has chosen is beautiful, there’s no other way to describe it. It is so perfectly them. On the inside the engraving reads ‘for my silly duck’, the outside a rose gold and encrusted with tiny diamonds. Chase let out a wet sob, sliding Felix’s ring onto his hand. The inscription on his reads ‘for my post-it note hero’ and he cannot wait to spend the rest of his life with this man.
They don’t do much for the rest of the night, as the excitement and nervous energy runs down they sit examining their rings, half watching the tv and both fall asleep on the couch. They both wake up a little too late, but Felix doesn’t have to go into work until midday so he packs Chase’s lunch and sends him off to work with a kiss and a goodbye to his fiance. 
God it still made them both giddy. The team noticed as Chase walked in, earlier than usual with a spring in his step, Foreman making a crude comment about getting laid and Cameron just smiling awkwardly, obviously agreeing with Foreman’s assessment but unable to say it.
“So who asked?” House asked, walking in the room and glancing at Chase's inconspicuously hidden hand, that neither fellow had noticed. 
“It was a joint effort.” He smiled giddily just thinking of the night before as House made gagging sounds and the other two congratulated him. He got a thump on the back from Foreman, an awkward hug from Cameron, an even more awkward bout of advice from Wilson and a happy congratulations from Cuddy. Word spread around the hospital like wildfire, but he didn’t care.
He was getting married. He had a fiance.
He pulled out his lunch, sitting alone at a table, wanting to see what Felix had packed him. As expected a little note flew out of the bag and landed on the table in front of him, it all seemed to be going his way. 
‘To my duckling, my darling fiance’, it read, Chase’s heart skipped a beat at the word, ‘I love you with all my butt. I would say my heart, but it is just not as big.’ 
He laughed at his boyfriend’s crude sense of humor and big gluteus maximus Felix had given the duck in pencil, placing the note in his locker right next to the photo of their first date. The next photo to go up would be a photo of them at town hall, too excited to wait, along with a photo from their first dance and the traditional cake fight. 
He couldn’t be happier, with what Felix called them his ‘Little Notes For Robbie’.
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scaredycat113 · 4 years ago
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I'm Allie: A Biography Summarized
Hey all!
My name is Alyssa, but call me Allie, let's drop the formalitiles already; we're all friends here right?When I was a kid, I always had a thing for creating new realities in my head. Now some would call this "lying", but I just think those people are close minded. As a kid, I really liked to tell stories, I mean, who didn't?! Everyone would be tuned in to your every detail, actually listening (and hopefully enjoying) the tale you spun for them. I remember the first story I ever told (only because it went so badly). I was about 6 or 7 years old and someone asked if anyone had a scary story to tell. I did not, but I was determined to tell one anyway. It was a story of a man who woke to find his whole town abandoned. Long story short, his friends played a prank on him. I know what you're thinking... not clever or scary in the slightest, but I was 8 give me a break! Everyone groned, no one liked it, but I thought, "ya know what? I kinda like telling stories." and thus the writer in me was born.
Fast forward to 2008, Step-Up 2: The Streets had just come out. I LOVED THAT MOVIE. I mean taught myself every dance and learned every line kinda love for that movie (I'll challenge anyone to a dance off). So at the ripe age of 10, I wrote my first movie. It was called Step-Up 3: The Masquerade and it was fantasic (for a 10 year old. Give me some credit). For some unknown reason, Touchstone didn't pick it up (they missed out BIG TIME), but I kept on writing. I wrote a couple of short stories and entered into competitions. I got discouraged over the years and thought, "maybe writing just isn't for me." I loved it, but it seemed like no one else liked my work as much as I did. So I changed paths.
When I was in high school, I wanted to go into international relations. I figured it would be really fun and rewarding to work with companies in different nations and try to help them breach the communicational gap. All was fine and dandy until I met my high school drama teacher, Mr. Wells. Mr. Wells had that contagious type of passion (I hope every student, regardless of subject, finds a teacher like him). We had a section where we had to write a play and I thought, "I already wrote a movie so this will be a piece of cake!". It was not. I worked for weeks on that play and turned up to class with a pile of crap. The frothy diarrhea icing on that cake was having it performed by my classmates that day so I could fully bask in the embarrasment that was my 14 page crapfest. After seeing my AWFUL play actually performed I thought, "I can do better." and so I did.
Junior year of high school we had a student-directed play festival. Of the 20-something years this festival had been going, no one entered in an original script, so I decided to enter this play festival with my new creation, a play titled, "Take a Number, Please". It was about a man who walked into a the ER with a head injury who's asked to take a number by the nurse at reception. Throughout the play, many other patients walk in with trivial injuries (a woman had lipstick on her tooth which she couldn't get off, another swallowed a bug), but the nurse lets them go through to see the doctor immediately. Turns out, the man who came in first is a patient at the hospital who periodically wanders down to the ER and complains of a head injury because he has amnesia and all of the other people walking into the ER are just in his head. Not a novel concept by any means, but it was mine and I treated it like my baby. The first night of the festival, my play was a hit. I had parents coming up to me saying how much they enjoyed my play, but the most rewarding part was hearing people laugh at my jokes and "awww" at the struggles of the characters I created. It was the highlight of my high school days, no doubt. This lit a fire under my ass.
Freshman year of college I had designated myself as a communication major, but one of the electives I signed up for was a scriptwriting class. It was the first time I really got to explore my writing and I loved every second of it. This was the year I really got to express my hidden side. A side that was a little bit dark and twisted. I wrote a play called, "Psychomachia" which boils down to "battle of spirits" or "soul war" (but Psychomachia sounded way cooler). It was about a girl who was struggling with two halves of herself, a light side and a dark side. Both my classmates and my professor loved this piece and, I'm not gonna lie, so did I. This piece was the first true expression of how I felt at the time and I cherished every second of writing it. Then I let others get to me...
"There's no money in writing." "You can't make a living off creative writing." I believed it. I figured I'd put my time into a career where I could support myself after graduation, so I stopped writing. I changed my goal back to international relations. I figured if I loved it once, I could love it again. Oh how wrong I was. I took a political science class and fell asleep as soon as the professor started talking (no dig on Prof Edwards, he was great). So I changed my goal, once again, to public relations with the hopes of becoming a social media manager, but I wasn't thrilled about it. I had no passion for it, I just figured it would give me a solid income to live on.
Spring semester of my Junior year I took a communication course called, "Gaming and Avatars". The course talked about how we can communicate all sorts of ideas through video games. This course was utterly illuminating for me. Not only did I meet my significant other in this class (shout out to my guy, KN, you know who you are), but I found my new love as well, communicating.... THROUGH VIDEO GAMES. What a crazy idea, right?! I could connect two things I absolutely loved doing... and get paid for it?? Who knew?!
So there I was, about to graduate college and questioning every decision I made in my undergrad. At this point I knew, without a doubt, that I wanted to write for video games. The problem was getting my foot in the door. I contacted countless game studios and sent my resume hoping and praying someone would give me a chance. Every studio I applied to would look at my resume and respond (if they responded at all), "We don't have any PR positions available." and I would tell them that what I really wanted to do was write. They would usually stop responding after that. So I enrolled in a master's program for creative writing hoping that it would give me some credibility in the field. But I felt like I was behind. I felt like I started late because I didn't study writing during my undergrad.
So I worked my ass off and built my portfolio. I wrote short film scripts, scripts for a web series, and I even made a game. During this time I still applied to game studios. I would send them whatever script I was working on or my game, but still no dice, until...
June 30th, 2020 (yes, I saved the date, judge me if you want). I got my first commision to write for the fantastically brilliant Rise Eterna. I was nervous and second guessing if I was really cut out for this, but there was no time to consider it; I am a game writer.
So there it is. Thanks for sticking around. I know this post was a journey, but now you know a little bit about me.
Stay tuned for more blog posts in the future (the won't be as long, I pinky swear)! Also check out my website, because I post blog content there first.
Write on,
Allie
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jeichanhaka · 8 years ago
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Right Here Waiting
Chapter 10: Untitled
"Please…I…what do you want from me? I'll do anything, just don't…."
"The Necros orb."
"Huh?"
"Tell me where the Necros orb is and I'll let you go."
"I…my brother, Karasu, has it."
"WHAT!" Youko glared at Karai hoping that he'd heard wrong, that the demon hadn't said that Karasu had the Necros orb. "Karasu has the Necros orb! You let him get that orb! You…you…."
"I couldn't exactly help it, he's the one who gave me the bite on my side; he's my master, I…."
"But you should've still been able to resist, Karasu isn't inhabiting the body he was in when he gave you that bite so his control over you isn't complete." Youko snarled, his fear over Karasu having the Necros orb in his possession overwhelming him, along with the angered frustration caused by being one step behind the sadist demon when he usually was three steps ahead of his enemy.
"But…I…."
Meanwhile back at the mountainside cave, the Necros orb glowed intensely bright, encasing the fox cub's body in a blinding white light that slowly faded as the seconds passed. Before the light dimmed completely a bright ray of light shot deep into the distance fading quickly into the darkness.
Growling briefly as he recovered from the shock the bright flash of light had produced, the fox cub looked around the cave hurriedly, his gaze resting on the Necros orb, no longer glowing, laying still on the ground to his left. Stepping toward the orb, the fox cub picked it up in his mouth, his eyes gleaming. Then he walked away from the cave and into the surrounding forest.
During this time, Hiei and Yusuke searched relentlessly for Ku-chan while Genkai stood behind to watch Akiko (Hiei insisted on this just in case Akiko grew even weaker) they both decided that the fox cub must still be in the forest somewhere—Ku-chan had never really been anywhere else his whole life, Hiei had kept to the forests surrounding Genkai's temple for the past weeks. Therefore Hiei assumed that Ku-chan had gone to one of the places they usually stayed in the forest, and so those were the places he and Yusuke headed (the detective had to keep checking Hiei from using his demonic powers—they didn't need the fire-demon to kill himself by overexerting his human body).
It was during their search of all of the fire-demon's hangouts that they saw the bright light glowing intensely from the mouth of a mountainside cave that Hiei had recognized as the one he'd been at when he met Ku-chan. Full of trepidation, Hiei ran to the cave entrance, hoping to find the fox cub and he did, but something seemed amiss—Ku-chan stared at him in a way he never stared before. This look in the fox-cub's eyes reminded Hiei of someone else, of someone he never wanted to see again—but it couldn't be, it just couldn't be him.
"Ku-chan?" Hiei stepped toward the fox cub, unable to look away from those cold eyes—no warmth shone in those eyes now, as though the being behind them lacked some vital part, but how could the loving fox-cub be so cold now—it was like he was someone else.
"Hiei! Oh, looks like you found him." Yusuke spoke as he ran up to the fire-demon seeing the fox cub just a moment before he called out.
"Detective." Hiei mumbled, glancing once at Yusuke, before turning to pick up Ku-chan, blocking the apprehension from building up inside him, but as soon as he touched the fox cub a stab of pain, intense, throbbed from his shoulder paralyzing his entire body for a moment from the force.
Dropping Ku-chan, falling to his knees, Hiei clutched his right shoulder, grimacing in his pain.
"Hiei! What's wrong?" Yusuke asked fearful for the fire-demon who appeared as though in intense pain. However before Hiei could answer he fell unconscious falling the rest of the way to the ground.
Meanwhile, far into the distance, in a solemn, abandoned mansion surrounded by trees, a figure with long black hair and pale skin awoke, his throat covered with dry blood from where a wound, now healed, had been. Blinking his stony eyes as he stood up, clutching his head hazily, apparently trying to make sense of his surroundings, the man stepped forward toward an open window.
"Where? Wha…?" The man muttered staring, dazed, out the window at the sky before gasping, eyes wide with sudden realization. However the gasp was obstructed by a mask covering his mouth and nose, a mask he brought his hand to in disbelief. "I'm…I'm…." He whispered, his eyes turning stoic, unreadable, as he caught sight of his reflection in the window glass—every single clue as to what he thought disguised expertly complete. "The Necros orb must have…but I…he…."
Glancing briefly at the sky and then closing his eyes calmly, he chuckled, his eyes gleaming with bemusement when they reopened. "I can't wait until he realizes what happened, hah." Stepping away from the window he sat down on a chair after surveying the large room decorated with intricate, gloomy trinkets and such. However he only sat for a second before suddenly standing back up—he had sensed someone's aura drop severely. "No, he can't die…damn."
Meanwhile back in the forest clearing Karai and Youko froze and stared into the darkness, both sensing the abrupt drop in that familiar aura.
"Hiei's in trouble." Youko muttered, furrowing his brows as he debated whether to find the fire-demon or to stay here and make sure nothing happened to Kurounue—he didn't trust Karai to be careful enough to protect the demon in Hinansho's body.
"…." Karai nodded slightly and then turned pale when the bite on his side throbbed with new pain—a pain that burned through his veins and filled him with terror.
Trembling Karai stepped back, his attention on a different aura signal some miles away—a dreadfully familiar aura, though it felt a tad displaced. It seemed a little different than before, but so what, it was still wholly the same aura—and it could only mean one thing.
"He's alive." Karai whispered, still shaking terrified by the aura signal, wishing that he'd been mistaken.
"What?" Youko turned to stare at Karai, noticing for the first time that the demon trembled in fear facing the direction opposite the one the Spirit Fox faced. "Karai, what do you mean?" The Spirit Fox asked, wondering what got Karai so riled up, though it was apparent that they were concerned with two separate things.
"He's alive. Ka…my…my…."
"…." Youko stared incredulously at Karai before turning his attention to where Karai stared, trying to pick up whatever aura signal had upset the demon, not thinking it would be significant until he sensed it. "No!" Youko growled, bristling, eyes narrowed—now it was apparent why Karai was so afraid and why Hiei's aura had diminished significantly—Karasu was alive, his aura strong and whole except that it was somehow different than before.
Anger rushing through him, anger derived from fear, Youko glared at Karai murderously. "Now you see why giving him that orb was a horrible idea?" The Spirit Fox growled ready to pounce on Karai in anger even though he had no physical form to do so. "That orb was a revival orb! And you just hand it over to him! It's your fault he'd revived!"
Gulping, Karai stepped back again and ended up falling to the ground, fearful of Youko's justified rage and terrified of Karasu's strong aura signal. "I'm sorry!"
"…." Youko glared at the shivering Karai detested by the demon's actions. "Pitiful, a coward like you is not worth killing—no wonder Karasu didn't stick with you, you must've been his easiest capture. I bet he doesn't even have to snap his fingers for you to become submissive, pathetic."
"…." Karai turned red at Youko's words, but he didn't say anything in his defense, for while he wasn't as cowardly as the Spirit Fox made it sound, he wasn't far from it.
All of his life he'd preferred being a pacifist, much to his family's dismay, and he even learned a difficult spell to change his appearance so that he could make a new life for himself. Ever since he mastered that spell he'd been disguising his true form—even now he wore a disguise, his whole present appearance was artificial due to the spell.
"…you don't even have the pride to deny being a coward—despicable." Youko seethed, turning away from Karai, glancing back only once to speak before leaving. "You don't even deserve to be called a demon."
"…." Karai only stared as Youko jumped away into the forest. Shivering from fear still he inhaled deeply, tears forming in his eyes as he continued to sit, unable to figure out what to do now.
"Maybe you should forget your cowardice and help defeat Karasu." A voice spoke suddenly breaking the silence, and surprising Karai who stared bewildered for a second at Kurounue who stood next to him.
"You…you're awake…."
"Yes, I've actually been conscious since right after you surrendered the orb to Karasu." Kurounue whispered taking in Karai's appearance intrigued.
"You…I…."
"I enjoyed hearing you and Youko fight over me." Kurounue chuckled, giggling harder as Karai wiped the tears from his eyes. "You lost to a bodiless demon—no wonder you settled for a human boy."
"Please don't remind me how cowardly I am—I know already and I don't want to hear it from those lips."
"Can't bear listening to Hinansho's voice saying you suck, that you're pathetic?" Kurounue smirked, studying Karai's response closely; the cowering demon closed his eyes and placed his hands over his ears trying desperately to drown out Kurounue's words. "Hm, pitiful."
"Stop speaking."
"Eh? You are pathetic, a coward. You're…."
"STOP!" Karai shouted surprising Kurounue with the harshness in his tone, harshness derived from his anger and embarrassment.
Shocked, Kurounue jumped back, barely dodging the aura surge Karai sent at him, un-eased by the attack—Karai must be very upset if he'd attacked Kurounue while he was in Hinansho's body. He never attacked him before, even when Kurounue attacked him once in anger, Karai had just turned the other cheek—both figuratively and literally, so his present attack, though small, was surprising.
"Karai…."
"Get away from me."
"But…."
"GET!"
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