#look i just have a habit of being a bit chronically stupid sometimes

[hmm-ctrl]

i never learn my lesson

[idontplaytrack]

✧ Heart eyes

AJ Campos x fem! reader

Warnings: MDNI, smut, tiny bit of angst, fluff, some coarse language, hospital settings & procedure, mentions to medical/chronic condition and pain, body image struggles

Part 2 of ‘You think so?’ | Kiss prompt 17: to distract

“Hey, good morning, honey.” AJ stood in the doorway of your shared bedroom, sporting a grey beanie and matching sweater. Your gaze tore away from the ceiling as you grumbled quietly and looked at her.

Her eyes softened, brows furrowed together in concern. “Hey…what’s the matter? Is the pain bad? Do you wanna see a doctor?”

“I don't want to.” You let out a quiet sigh. “Please. It’s be stupid to go for just this bruise.”

“You know that’s not what I meant.” AJ said back calmly, “That fall triggered your chronic pain and you know it.”

“It’s the weather.” You rolled around to face away from her.

“I bought breakfast.” She says, a comforting hand on your side, “Your favourite.”

You inhaled carefully, “I’m not hungry.”

You had this terrible habit every now and then, of not wanting to eat. AJ gets it, she really does. But sometimes, she lets her emotions get the best of her. She gets annoyed, pissed off, even. And even though she doesn’t like to show it, you could still feel it, so you just stayed quiet. It wasn’t going to help either of you if you continued disagreeing with her about eating.

“Honey.” Her hand squeezes your side a little and you cringe. To you it felt like she was pinching your fats— she wasn’t. It just felt like that to you in moments like these. Your appetite was rapidly poor due to the weather inducing your plethora of pain across your body, and the bruise became the least of your problems just as quickly.

“I don’t want to right now, the pain’s bothering me too much.” You muttered, still refusing to look at her.

You told her to leave you alone, and she did. But not before she left your correct dosage of pain meds and water on the nightstand. “Take it, okay? Then go back to sleep if you want to.” She presses a kiss to the side of your head. She put your breakfast in the fridge then sat down at the dining table to have her own. After she’d eaten, she returned to the bedroom to check on you. You’d taken your meds so she took the cup away and went to fill up your water bottle instead so you could have that right by you if you needed something to drink. AJ paced the room for a minute before she decided to look through her art notebook to see if any of her half-baked ideas could get completed today.

She stares at this page with a sketch of the words ‘you are my greatest adventure’, which looked like clouds. Her thumb brushes over the details as she looks at the page, her mind running with ideas all of a suddenly. AJ swiftly grabs a pencil from the coffee table and began working, finalizing the look of the words, the objects in the background, and what colours she wanted to use. Once she started, she couldn’t stop until she was done. And boy was glad she could get that piece completed. She got the idea over a month ago when the two of you were snuggled up on the couch rewatching Disney movies— The Incredibles, actually. She had no idea why it took her this long, everything she needed was right in front of her all this time: you. That was your favourite movie, the quote resonated with her, and she could’ve made use of the film’s main colours to fill up the page. But instead, she’s ignored it because she didn’t think it was good enough, almost too readily to leave it as a rough sketch.

Getting to work on art calmed her down. Her frustration dwindled away when she put her pencil down, satisfied with the work she’s done in the last hour or so. You were still asleep, but AJ had the second best company right now— her notebook. It always kept her occupied while you were asleep, or at work, or just out of the house without her. To her, nothing beats being with you and you felt that way about her as well. But dealing with chronic pain meant that you were irritable some days, which she entirely understood and always does her best to help you. Your low moods made it harder to show appreciation so you usually isolated yourself until the pain passed. She’d almost always still sit with you though, other days you’d be clingy, so it wasn’t exactly predictable. An injury in high school caused your desmoid tumour to become a thing, and its rarity made it incredibly difficult to get diagnosed and treated. But you were lucky enough to have been free from a recurrence until half a year ago.

You woke up at about thirty minutes to noom, and she heated up your food for you without saying anything. “I’m sorry, I just…I’m not feeling the best and I didn’t mean to just shut you out like that.”

“I know, and I know you’re sorry. I know you’ll never just ignore me for no reason.” She assured, “Try and eat okay? I’m right here with you.”

You nodded, flashing her a soft smile, “Thank you.”

AJ smiled back, sitting right next to you now. Eating a snack plate as you picked up your bagel sandwich from the plate and took a bite. Hesitant at first, but you soon relaxed and could finish the whole thing. When AJ saw that you had finished your food, she practically abandons her half-eaten plate of snacks and fruit then pulled you onto her lap. You squealed, taken aback. “Give me a kiss.”

————

You pouted and shook your head no, just to play with her.

“You want a kiss?” She asks, brushes the hair out of your eyes. Her gaze melts into yours, so soft and full of love…it makes your heart feel warm and fuzzy. It made you smile.

Responding with a subtle nod, she leaned in, connecting her lips with yours like two pieces of a puzzle that fit perfectly together. It starts off gentle, and slow. But she refuses to let go of you, and you didn’t want this to stop. You laughed breathily, feeling her hands on either side of your head. She smiles into the kiss, seemingly never ending but neither of you could get enough. AJ hoists you up and walked over to the couch, placing you down carefully and straddles you quickly enough so that your lips didn’t break away from each other’s. You squirmed beneath her, “You can’t sit on—”

“I know, sorry.” She shifted herself off of you, fast. Anyway, thank goodness for having a sectional couch. AJ kissed her way downwards, skilfully palming your breast in the meantime. She looped her finger through the hem of your shorts and underwear when her lips got to the waistline, eyes watching you, and asking silently if it was okay before she proceeded. You could only nod, then she agily removed those two pieces of clothing and tossed them aside. Pushing your legs apart, her fingers slid down your folds, pushing themselves into you and hooking upward to hit your sensitive spot. You let out a shaky breath, squirming as her hand grabs your inner thigh. Her fingers retract, then her hand leaves your thigh and moves to your clit. Her left thumb rubs your clit rhythmically, then her mouth replaced her fingers, tongue lapping up and down your folds. Your wetness grew, noises started to come out of your mouth, making AJ chuckle. She riles you up just enough then breaks away from you to watch you, heavily breathing and writing. “Such a pretty girl.”

Your cheeks were almost instantly flushed as you turned to look away. “Hey, look at me.” She said gently, finger tilting your face by the chin. You looked at her, though. So she continued her actions, not wanting to push you too much. Within seconds, you feel her lips peppering kisses all over your inner thighs, as if on reflex your hand was squeezing your own tit for more stimulation. AJ had half a mind to push your hand away and replace it with her own, but she doesn’t, she lets you do it. Gradually, her lips found its way back to your cunt, covering just about every part of it before her tongue smoothly slides into your entrance. You yelped, feeling the steady movement of her tongue, the surge after surge of pleasure in your core, the metaphorical coil within you tightening ever so slowly. AJ was taking her time, but you weren’t complaining. You loved this pace, and whatever she was doing. It always feels out of this world.

A whine falls from your lips, her hand that was grabbing your tit loosens and falls lazily to your side. A chuckle from her has you seething feeling the warmth against your own, you throbbed against her mouth, AJ persisted, satisfied. It felt so fucking good.

“Fuck.” You cursed when she added her fingers into the mix once again, “Fuck— fuck, that feels so— that feels so good.” You panted.

“Oh yeah? It does?” Asked AJ, sweetly, “That’s great. Keep going.”

You whimpered in response, gnawing on your lower lip.

“That’s my girl.” She grins, looking up at you, her chin glistening with a small mess of your arousal. You gulped, whining once again at the sight as your hand blindly found its way to the back of her head and guided her back into place. She reciprocated eagerly, you could feel her smiling against you, then her lips wrapped around that sensitive, swollen bundle of nerves at the top. You gasped, fingers tangling in her thick hair and your nails dug into her scalp, keeping her perfectly in place. Not like she wanted to leave…but she loved how eager you were now, and she made sure you knew that, by picking up her pace and getting you closer and closer to your release. The closer you got, the tighter your thighs clamped themselves on either side of her head. You knew AJ was more than happy about it, but she always does this— pushing your legs back open then expertly resting them on her shoulders. Somehow, she gets closer to you, and the slight breakaway worked in both your favours. You were too eager to get her back to you, and she also gets to have a peek of what she’s done to you.

Her two fingers glided up and down your folds, idly, watching you clench around nothing…the arousal leaking out of you without an end. She loved watching you, seeing you so blissed out already and on cloud nine. AJ hears nothing but her name, your breathy whines and whimpers, long strings of curse words…her definition of heaven on Earth. She loved you, every inch of you. Sometimes, your mind makes it for you to know that. But AJ works even harder for you to remember.

“AJ, please— I need more, I’m so close.” You nearly groaned trying to hold back, your words came out strangled…nearly pitiful. Your chest was heaving, it was getting harder for you to breathe, and your limbs felt tingly: your climax was close. With a loving smile on her face that ignited a swarm of butterflies in your chest swarming south, a needy whine erupts from your throat prompting AJ to dive right back in, sucking at the nub forcefully and plunging her fingers in and out of you to get you to that high you’ve been wanting. When your back arched, AJ started going at an ungodly pace to push you over the edge while you rewarded her efforts by spilling her name out of your mouth in an unending stream.

You came right into her mouth. Your body trembled until you feel her hand on your thigh, that calming touch brought you down from your high as you found your breath.

She carefully hovers over you to capture your lips into her own, you unintentionally made a little bit of a noise when you tasted yourself on her lips, but hearing her say ‘I love you’ made your heart flutter, and had your eyes completely focused on her face, barely inches away from your own.

You laughed, probably a little delirious from the intense high, “I love you too.”

“I distracted you good, didn’t I?” She chuckles too, pressing another kiss to your lips before climbing off you and helping you up.

You nodded, breath still slightly unsteady, “Yeah, you— you definitely did.”

She pulled you up and said, “I think you should take a shower.”

“Mm, no I think you should come with me.” You sighed.

“Didn’t say I wasn’t. Just gonna clean up this little mess on the couch before I jump in there with you.” AJ snickers, planting a kiss to your cheek.

You swatted her on the chest and blushed, leaning your head on her shoulder for a second. “Okay.”

“Okay. You good?” She looked at you, concerned and serious.

“Yeah, yeah I can manage.” You nodded firmly, “Don’t take too long, though.”

“Can’t get enough of me, honey?” She teased.

“I just…want your company.”

“I know.” She smiled sweetly, cupping your cheek, “I’ll just be a couple minutes, okay?”

————

The next morning, you were at the hospital for a routine MRI scan, and like always, they’d have to set an IV plug for them to administer contrast fluid to help with the clarity of the scan. You’ve always hated this part, four times a year for the last five years…yet each time, you’ve only seemed to dread it more and more. “Okay, so we’re doing it on the left side then?” The doctor asks in confirmation.

“It only works on this side, so, yeah.” You let out a nervous chuckle.

“Hey.” AJ’s hand found its way to your free hand, intertwining your fingers, “Look at me. Look at me, honey.”

You slowly looked at AJ instead, letting the doctor do what was needed. “It’s gonna be alright, just focus on me, honey.”

You feel the elastic band around your wrist being tightened, AJ then made eye contact with the doctor. She seemingly got AJ’s hint and went ahead to insert the needle. At the same time, AJ’s lips met yours in complete surprise. You didn’t see either of those things coming but could only focus on the latter, much to your own relief and AJ’s. “Okay, you’re all done.” The doctor declared, “One try.”

“Oh, thank you. That was the quickest one I’ve ever had done.”

“Tried my best.” She smiled kindly, “Another doctor will be by in a minute to explain the scan to you. You know the drill. Then, you’ll be ready for the scan.”

You and AJ both nodded, fully knowing what to expect already. “Thanks.” AJ said quickly before that doctor departed.

“Now, I’ll be waiting right outside. Then, we’ll be going into the city for lunch, okay? And then, we’ll be at Build a Bear so you can get one like you always do after an MRI.”

You smiled, getting a little teary eyed. You honestly weren’t too sure if it was because you were touched or if it was the nerves. Maybe both. “You’re okay, my love. I promise. I’ll be right outside, it’ll be done before you know it.”

“You don’t have to take me to—”

She shook her head, cupping your cheek, “It’s the least I could do to bring a little bit of joy to you after…all this.”

A tear slipped from your eye, you chuckled, “Thank you. It means so much to me that you care as much as you do.”

“You’re my whole world, y/n.” She sighs, gazing into your eyes, “And right now…” AJ holds your face, “I’ve got my whole world in my hands. There’s nothing I won’t do to protect you and give you everything you deserve. Because I love you so much, and I want you to be by my side…for as long as you can be.”

“I love you.” You mouthed, swallowing the tears but a bright smile automatically gets plastered on your face, “I love you more than anything.”

She dries your tears and calmed you back down right as the next doctor came into the MRI suite waiting area. He gives you both the familiar rundown of the imaging procedure and the risks of the contrast. Again, you’ve both heard it so many times you could recite it. But still, you listened.

Finally, the scan took place and it went by smoothly. You were allowed to leave afterwards and you went looking for AJ outside in the other waiting room she said she’d be in. She looks up, and you both lock eyes. “Hi, baby.” She hugs you tightly. “Hi.” You smiled, sniffling.

“C’mon, let’s get going. Gotta eat.” AJ nudged, softly taking your hand into hers and brushing her thumb over the bandaid.

“Do you wanna get pizza?” You ask while getting into the car.

“Yeah, sure. Where from?”

“Bleecker Street?”

“Great choice. Was thinking the same.” She grins, shutting the door on her side and starting the engine, “Then Rockefeller?”

“Definitely.” You confirmed, “Never going back to the store at the Empire State if we don’t have to.”

She chuckles, “Well, I hear ya. It’s somehow more crowded whenever we try to go to that one.”

Typically, you guys would be home by sundown, but today in the spur of the moment…you and AJ decided to get some snacks and sat on a pier to watch the sunset down on the skyline of Manhattan. Pebble Beach was one of your favourite spots— it was where AJ actually confessed to you. That memory always makes you feel happy.

“What a day.” You laid your head on hers, “I’m so glad it’s almost over.”

She wraps her arm around your waist, holding you close. “You woke up pretty early, I know. It was a lot. Do you wanna go home yet?”

“Not yet.“ You blocked a yawn with the back of your hand, “Maybe when it gets dark.”

“Sure, honey.” AJ agrees, tilting your face towards her by a finger on your cheek. Looking into those…heart eyes of hers. Always felt like home. Always. Then came a cheeky peck on the lips which made you giggle, “Can’t get enough of me, babe?”

“Of course I can’t.” She smirked playfully, giving you yet another smooch on the lips. “You’re mine.”

“And how lucky I am to be yours, AJ.”

🏷️Tag list:

@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @ludoesartandstuff @pda128

💭A/N:

This chapter was supposed to be purely fluff but it clearly took some turns🫢

[mithliya]

Sometimes I wish there were concludent psychology info on the Internet, not good information buried under a ton of shit. It would be so useful for everyone in the world, actually. And by everyone I mean women, weird men fuck off.

Like how can I cope with a depressive episode while having no therapy available?? Suppose I'll have to work it out by myself.

i know this sounds dumb but it has worked for me:

1. have a good sleep routine. your sleep can seriously impact your emotions and it can make or break your day. having a sleep routine is good as your body has a sleep cycle & it’ll help you sleep faster + better if you are consistent. avoid anything too stimulating when trying to sleep (like exciting tv shows) and do not have caffeine preferably after 1 pm (even if u don’t feel it much, it can impact sleep quality)

2. if something is too depressing and making you feel worse, minimise your consumption of it or time around it at this time. it’s better for you to try to find more uplifting & inspiring things.

3. things like meditation can actually help. ik it sounds like bullshit but there is actual evidence that meditative exercises, mindfulness, even yoga can all improve your mental state. it can help with anxiety as well as depression. you wont magically be healed and it often takes practice, but you might feel better.

4. this one sounds stupid to someone who hasn’t dealt with depression, but take better care of yourself. a lot of us will just lay in bed all day and do nothing and it’ll feed into the depressive episode. get out of bed, brush your teeth, wash your face, take a shower, maybe even clean a little bit around you. reward yourself when you take those little steps as well.

5. if you have loved ones that you can trust, utilise their presence in this time. being alone with your thoughts can really exacerbate depressive episodes. its good to have someone who can cheer you up and perhaps take your mind off of it or remind you of the joys in life. a good support system is crucial, especially for the times when you’re in crisis mode

6. overall just try to make your environment a better place. sometimes (not always) it’s our surroundings &/or habits making us depressed. even if it isn’t the root, having a better environment will at least make you feel somewhat better.

7. sports can actually help. it releases endorphins.

8. healthier eating habits also helps. too much junk food can harm & not eating enough can also affect your moods negatively

9. lastly, look into cognitive restructuring. for a lot of ppl dealing with chronic depression, there is an underlying negative mindset which keeps them trapped in a depressive cycle. its really difficult, but possible, to restructure your thinking on your own. this involves some extra work beyond the self-care stuff i mentioned because you often have to write your feelings down, analyse them, and think of a more positive way you could perceive the situation in the future. and you need to do this repeatedly until it becomes automatic & you gain this positive voice more automatically. just as a warning, when i first went thru this it felt somewhat annoying & invasive having this unfamiliar positive voice pop up but ultimately you do feel better.

idk if any of these are of any help but these are things that helped me at one point or another. they really make a difference.

[jostepherjoestar]

Maybe Jotaro, Risotto, Prosciutto, Bruno and Leone friendship HCs with a fem friend thats llike your generic dumbass but they are just like a soft dumbass, she is just too cute to get mad at no matter how stupid she is. So basically a smol sweet dumbass that just radiate baby energy. Like she just runs up to them saying she want to show them something cool and its just a pretty rock but she looks so happy xjsbkss 💖

Pure of heart, dumb of ass fem!friend with Jotaro, Risotto, Prosciutto, Bruno and Abbacchio HC’s

sfw // fem reader

lemme just say, reader is baby and that’s valid 🥰this is so adorably pure ugh ya done killed me anon 🥺💖✨(can very much relate tho, glad my friends put up with my dumb antics)

Jotaro:

“Why am I friends with you again? Yare yare...” A phrase you’ll hear every time you’re hanging out with this tall bastard. He’ll tease you for being a bit of a dumbass but is incredibly drawn to how kind, sweet and absolutely thoughtful you are.

You remind him of Josuke and Okuyasu which only makes him like you even more. And the added cuteness-factor made him admit to himself he does indeed love cute things, no matter how adamantly he denies it to you.

His favourite thing to do is bring you along to the beach for field research, knowing just how wide eyed and giddy you get when you’re allowed to collect shells and rocks or even poke a jellyfish. You seem very good at spotting irregularities in your surroundings, making quite the good assistant to Dr. Kujo.

You’re even allowed to help with lab research, studying petri dishes filled with algae as you excitedly point out a very important detail he hadn’t noticed yet, too tired from working such long hours. Sometimes you’re quite the genius without even trying.

More than anything he loves the amount of lightness you bring to his life, his studies and general headspace take a large toll on him. Any relief is a welcome one.

He’ll often find himself smiling at the thought of hanging out again, staring at the collection of trinkets he keeps in a cute little Hello Kitty box you once gave him, which rests on his nightstand as a reminder that it can’t hurt to adapt your lifestyle of mindless giddy; even just the tiniest bit.

Risotto:

Being close friends with Risotto seems a bit impossible without being in his squad, he’s very insistent at keeping outsiders of Passione more than an arm-length away. Good thing that the stoic man is your capo, phew!

He’s apprehensive at first, not really sure why the soft round pebble you brought him reminded you of the man as he studied the mineral, admiring its softness. “It’s like you! Soft and worn down, but very sturdy and unbreakable.” smiling sweetly at him, excitedly awaiting a response.

What was this new feeling of being appreciated and cared for? Risotto’s never really experienced a friendship so pure. He’ll quietly thank you for the pebble and keeps it on his desk, staring in awe as he’s reminded of your kind words every time he spots it.

He knows the others like to tease you for not always being aware of general human knowledge, shooting them an intense glare as a warning to keep any rude comments or jokes to themselves.

Your friendship consists of him mostly listening to you, quietly taking in all the stories you divulge- so full of excitement, telling him facts you picked up somewhere; the source of these often containing varying levels of credibility. He won’t correct you though. (unless it’s something that might actually endanger you)

He values your friendship so.much. He’s not used to being treated so kindly, receiving random gifts, being praised for a job well done, having someone who doesn’t judge him in the slightest. He’ll do whatever he needs to keep you safe, from others and yourself, along with trying to return your kindness and care. (he tries his best and it’s so cute)

(you guys hold hands for safety when you’re out in the city... just saying, it’s adorable)

Prosciutto:

Prosciutto has a chronic case of “caring older brother disease”. Will need to hold himself back from tying your shoelaces for you, the man knows you can do it it yourself but it’s just taking sooo long.

Just like Risotto, you’d have to be a team member to get close to him in any way. Good thing he recruited you ;)

It’s a bit hard to make him open up about anything personal. You feel like he knows everything about you, while you barely know a thing. When he sees your pouty lip and begging gaze that is way too cute to deny, he’ll cave. Perhaps finally realising it’s alright to lean on others.

He’ll still struggle with continuing the openness, but find relief in your loyalty and understanding. The way you intently listen to his troubles, there to hold his hand if he ever needs it, it makes his heart hurt to know how sweet and gentle you are.

Will keep you and Pesci separate during missions, he’s already getting a migraine from imaging everything that could go wrong without his guidance.

For someone who’s a little more on the dense side, you make up for it in emotional intelligence. Whenever you see how stressed he tends to get, eye twitching without even realising while his shoulders hunch together in discomfort, you come over to hug him. It’s something he had to get used to, the small gesture always calming him down enough to keep going.

Does not appreciate you slipping cute trinkets in his suit pocket. Especially not after finding a snail that one time. You’ve been forbidden from leaving pocket gifts since the incident.

Bruno:

It concerns Bruno just how clueless you can be from time to time. That one time they almost left you behind on a busy station with no cellphone because you found a coin on the ground made him realise you need some extra supervision.

He’s not the type to hold you back from doing things that are guaranteed to result in disaster (unless it’s literally deadly), he wants you to experience the consequences of your own actions.

You do make him hold back his laughter when you try out a stupid idea you know has failed in the past, but change your methods slightly to hope for better results. And you know what? Now he’s curious too.

The man has a weird sense of humour that sometimes even surprises you. He’ll copy your habit of picking up strange trinkets or rocks and asks you to compare findings with him. Like trading marbles, he’ll barter with a smirk.

“Mhh, if you give me that cute shell and that pointy rock... I’ll give you this keychain.” His alluring offer making you question if you’re getting swindled or not. “Hey! That shell is at least worth two stickers!” He’ll heartily laugh at your reply, a mischievous smile while thinking over the trade. “Ok, two stickers and a pebble then.”

With a firm handshake the deal goes through. The rest of the gang never knows how to respond, staring in amazement as their grown-ass capo barters with their grown-ass teammate. He loves being silly with you and forgetting all the pressures of life for just a moment.

Bruno takes his time opening up to you, but finds your presence so comforting it becomes very easy to trust you. As a vital part of his team he finds it important to be able to lean on each other for support and is glad you offer him just as much trust and loyalty.

Abbacchio:

Will never admit he can’t live without you anymore. You’ve become the shining beacon of assumed happiness the man never thought existed. He knows you won’t always be go-lucky and have your own troubles and struggles but admires how you handle them.

Don’t get me wrong, he’ll still gladly tease you for your occasional (well, more like frequent) stupidity. He’ll let you know with a big huff you should smarten up; “Read a book that doesn’t have pictures in it for once.”

He’ll be the first to correct any wrong info you’ve been given, unless he thinks it’s funny. Like when Mista made you believe you needed to order dessert at Libeccio or they’ll kick you out for breaking their beloved rule. It’s only when he saw the panic in your eyes when you finished your main course one day -too full for any sweets to come- that he assured you it was a dumb joke. (he’ll put all the blame on Mista)

Abbacchio seems to tether to people who have a positive influence on him without even realising, it won’t be obvious to him, but just like with his loyalty and admiration for Bruno, he’ll make sure you know it once he finds out.

Not that it’s a bad thing, his need to cling to anything that might help him stay afloat just needs to stay healthy. You didn’t even realise your effect on him, you were too busy trying to figure out a way to turn that scowl into that smirk.

After gifting him a handmade friendship bracelet that had the shortened versions of your names spelled on it, he hugged you. So tightly it was suffocating, you were shocked since he’s never been the touchy type. “Leone! I can’t breathe...” He’ll let go after the complaint but that look on his face will never leave your memory. The face of being loved unconditionally by choice, no matter how unworthy he might think himself of it.

[themockingcrows]

Faint

Chronic invisible illness sucks. Sometimes we stay quiet. Sometimes we cope by giving our favorite characters our condition to get some comfort. This fic is the latter case, wherein Rose Lalonde has Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome and Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and deals with everything that brings in order to spread a bit of awareness.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31556225

She’d thought it was normal, till she brought it up to the others. The chest pain, the exhaustion, the dizziness. The sense of running on an internal timer so precise that if she overstepped its bounds it would be time to collapse into the void itself. The darkness at the edges of her vision when she’d been upright too long, when she was stressed, when she was running, dancing.

She’d thought it was normal, that everyone just had more stamina than she did before they had the same symptoms occur.

“That’s not normal. You should maybe see a doctor!” they’d unanimously said. John had been concerned, Dave had been flippant with jokes but the worry was easy to detect, and Jade was forceful with her reasoning.

Rose had finally told her mother something was wrong, to spur a visit to the doctor. It was hard to explain at first, but when her guardian further questioned how she felt, how long she’d felt that way, it had nearly turned into a shouting match.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner? What if something is really wrong, Rosie! This isn’t something to just keep quiet!”

If she’d known it was abnormal, perhaps she would have mentioned it sooner. If she’d known. If she’d had a reason, she might have even been able to keep up with ballet instead of having to quit, feigning disinterest when it still made her heart sing. Violin was hard enough to deal with, with her arms raised the entire time. But ballet was just a no go anymore.

To the doctor, then, after a few weeks of edge of seat waiting. The family physician, who they’d known for years. Who didn’t believe her. Not at first, at least.

He’d checked her weight first thing, and finding her normal range, asked about her habits. While he spoke, he checked her joints and how stretchy she was, keeping her moving while talking till she was reeling on her feet before he let her lay down. Stupid old man. Her problem felt like it was in her chest or her head, not her joints! She’d always been plenty bendy, able to pull off poses ahead of her ballet class with minimal effort, the stretches never quite feeling like enough to really pull in her body in a satisfying way.

Head swimming till she lay flat on the exam table, arms crossed over her stomach absently, Rose continued to answer questions.

She was doing okay in school. She was just more tired than usual.

Yes, this had been happening for quite some time.

No, she’d fainted before, but only once. And only because she’d been up too long dancing. She didn’t miss the curious look the doctor gave her mother, the raised brow. He checked her abdomen, he checked her glands, looking for distension or rigidity, looking for clues. Nothing. Nothing that she could see, at least. Nothing that felt any different from normal. He continued to talk, keeping her lying down for a while, and checked her blood pressure while she rested, the pulse oximeter being placed on her opposite finger.

75bpm, 120/80. Everything normal, everything fine. He left the devices in place, however, and then did something strange.

“Could you stand up for me, Rose? Nice and straight, right here by the table.”

There were no questions this time to keep her occupied. Just two sets of eyes staring at her in the small room, watching as she felt the cold sweat start up on her forehead, the shake beginning in her limbs. It was stronger when she stood still, when she couldn’t prowl around. She felt nauseated as the sweat turned to a hot flash and started to soak into the fabric of her shirt, and with it came the panic as she saw the darkness at the corners of her vision.

“Can I sit down please.”

“Not yet, try to hold out a little longer,” the doctor coaxed, inflating the blood pressure cuff once more. She focused on the discomfort on her arm instead of the pounding in her chest and head, the increased breaths. Nausea rose in her throat, bile, bitter, salt from excess saliva.

“Can I sit down. Please,” she said again, not caring that it sounded like begging.

“Nearly there, just a moment longer.”

She didn’t have a moment. She felt her knees quaking, felt the floor rushing up to meet her, but gratefully felt her mother’s hands hurrying to catch her waist and balance her till the doctor finished his data gathering.

80/50. 145bpm.

The monster had a name now. Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. There were hopes she’d just grow out of it, but there was a chance it might be long lasting. In her case it seemed to be at least partly linked to how bendy she was, how loose her skin felt, how stretchy it was, how easily she bruised. That, too, had a name. Ehlers Danlos Syndrome.

What had been a slow appointment was suddenly moving very fast. Referrals were being made, appointments with different doctors at the big hospital in town, and paperwork was being handed to her mother in a thick stack. Informative pages, recommendations for diet, for exercises, safety precautions, warnings, risks. A whole new world was opening up below her and swallowing her whole, and Rose didn’t know how to feel about it.

One thing was certain, however.

She didn’t plan on telling her friends. Or anyone, for that matter.

It would be her little secret.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“...Is it going to hurt?” was Rose’s only question. She felt very small, much smaller than she’d felt at the clinic with her mother. The room here was bigger and more sterile, with strange looking machinery and electronics. She’d asked the same when she had her first EKG earlier, and had been relieved that the most painful part was having the gummy electrodes pulled back off after the painless test was performed. Something about being in a hospital gown and swinging her legs on a different looking exam table just made her feel even more fragile than the long walk through the building had. At least her mom was there with her.

“No, not at all. It might be a little uncomfortable, or a little cold, but there’s no pain,” promised a technician with a smile. She smiled back a little uncertainly, unconvinced. “All we’re going to do is get some pictures of your heart. I promise, an echocardiogram doesn’t hurt. It’s just a paddle with cold jelly, you’ll hold your breath when I tell you to and stay very still, and we’ll see how things look from different angles.”

“And you’ll tell me if I’m going to die or not.”

“No,” he said with a smirk. “I’ll be telling you if you have any issues with your heart valves or not.”

“Same difference.”

“You underestimate just how much the human body can handle before needing intervention,” he chuckled. “C’mon, legs up on the table and get laid back. I’m sorry for having to keep the shirt open, I know it’s embarrassing. Mom, you can see everything, yes?”

“Yes. Rosie if you need to hold my hand, I ca-”

“I’m fine, Mother. Thank you.”

“Well. If you change your mind, I’m right here.”

“Can you see the screen?” he asked Rose. She nodded, then went very still to watch the technician lift a bottle of gel and squeeze a splurt onto the paddle's end instead. “Right. Sorry this will be chilly, just try to bear with it. And-”

“Stay very still,” Rose finished for him as he opened the front of the gown and pressed the paddle to her chest. She hadn’t been watching the screen at first, but when it lit up with a fluttering white and gray form it was hard to ignore. She knew what it was, of course, though not what the technician was looking for. Seeing your own heart pushing blood around, flaring and calming as it cycled pulses, was kind of amazing. There it was, the only thing keeping her alive, and they were checking to see if any potential defects inside of its valves from the EDS were making her sick.

The procedure was quick enough. A roll here or there, a drop down section of the table for him to do further measurements underneath of her as she lay on her side, and soon enough she was done.

“What’s the verdict, am I dying,” Rose said, voice carefully calm and face deadpan. The papers from the physician had said this was a non-deadly condition, that neither of them would kill her, but the concept of damage to a heart valve of all things being real had brought out the morbid part of her brain.

“There’s a bit of a leak,” he admitted. “But your measurements are just fine and within normal ranges. I wouldn’t be too worried about it, but if you start feeling worse or new symptoms we might recheck within the next few years.”

Rose wiped off the gel with the offered cloth and covered back up while the technician spoke with her mother, the words flowing quick and easy as she asked questions and they discussed the findings. Rose herself stared at the blank screen for a moment before setting her hand over her heart, feeling the pulse, remembering how it had looked.

She was fine then.

All the more reason not to make anyone she knew worry.

She informed her friends that it had been a vitamin issue and that she was going to be just fine before changing the subject, getting swept up in conversations about games and comics and music all over again. Same as ever.

Same as always.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Treatment wasn’t much. Increased water consumption, and a stupid amount of salt. Compression stockings, when that alone wasn’t enough. Rose drank gatorade till she could smell it in her dreams, ate pickles and pretzels till salty foods lost their amusement and her mother had to get creative in the kitchen and with the ordering in catalog. Everything was salt and fluids, compression stockings just tight enough they gave her the will to live back. Thankfully they came in black and she could just pretend they were normal stockings, and for anyone just looking in passing, they would be just another part of her wardrobe.

Yet none of it was enough. The weakness persisted, the fatigue, and through it all that awful, stupid racing heart. If the sound of a beating heart could drive a man mad from beneath floorboards then, surely, the persistent throbbing in her ears and the pain in her chest from her own rushing tempo would be enough to drive her mad. Going to the grocery store made her sweat through her clothes, made her vision blur even as she clung to the cart for balance. More than once, she had to go find a deserted aisle to sit down on the floor in, legs stretched out in front of her, waiting for the worst of it to pass as she debated just how much she might regret laying down flat to hurry it along.

Rose assumed this was just how life was going to be. Stockings, salt, water, constantly living on an internal timer to get things done. Annoying, but not much of a burden. She could imagine living her life like this, one way or another. Others did it every day.

Then had come SBurb.

Fire from the sky and the end of the world, rushing, hurrying, breaking the bottle. She hadn’t been wearing her stockings for the day, but was grateful for the opportunities to sit, few and far between as they were. There was plenty reason for her heart to be beating out of her chest then; plenty of scary, inexplicably stressful things were happening. She had entered the medium with grim determination, and set about the task of destroying imps with a bit of glee.

She had to be quick in dispatching them, there was no alternative. Fainting around these things was unthinkable, and she had plenty of stress to get out with her knitting needles. Rose combined aggression with ballet and her own trained limberness for maneuvers that, in a normal situation, she’d never have reason to use.

It was thrilling.

It was-

Gasping and out of breath, Rose settled on her knees and held her chest after her latest kill, needing time to recover. To rest. It was like she couldn’t breathe, couldn’t open her lungs enough. Like she was drowning on dry land. She gagged, saliva thick and sticky from exertion and, somehow, early dehydration. Slowly, she flopped onto her back and threw her legs up against the wall, feeling the ache and throb as the pooled blood rushed back towards her torso and brain.

Maybe she should get her stockings before continuing, given she had no idea what to expect going forward…

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The game up through getting to the meteor had been quite the experience. She’d been able to pace herself somewhat, exerting herself in bouts that she could control better once she’d gotten some thoroughly upgraded weaponry in hand. Now, godtiered and being able to fly, she found she was able to handle being upright longer than usual.

Well.

Mostly.

She still had an affinity for walking normally. Maybe it was because it let her track her internal timer better, a long ingrained pattern she was comfortable with. Maybe it was the fear of falling from height, knowing it wouldn’t kill her but that it would still hurt unless someone caught her. There was also the setback of getting enough fluids and salt.

Gatorade was too much to hope for, but water was doable at least. Salt as a base was also available, but drinking straight salt water would have been anything but subtle.

...Maybe it was time to be honest. Rose was fairly certain that Dave already had an idea something was up, having been around her for some time by then. He always seemed to be watching her carefully, and after a few conversations with Kanaya she’d walked in on, even Kanaya had begun to have a more cautious air in their interactions.

Would that just get worse, if she told everyone?

How would Vriska react to such a thing? Such a weakness? The Seer of Light, waylaid by darkness brought on by standing for too long, she could hear it now. Brought on by sitting upright too long, sometimes. It had progressed in ways that she was frustrated about, spending time reading and trying to figure out how to make compression stockings of the right elasticity out of her god tier outfit in her down time. A dress? Sure! Simple! A garment that would help her out without cutting off all circulation to her legs or being useless? Bit more difficult.

At least Kanaya was content to let her recline whenever she wanted. She never asked, never brought it up. Instead she welcomed the blonde head to her lap, the subtle tug on her hand that meant she was going to slide to sit on the ground against the wall for a time to watch the vast space they were traveling through.

Maybe she would just keep it quiet forever. Or, at least, till after their final battles were done. When there was time to rest, when there were doctors again, Gatorade or something similar, she could get this under control and go back to her plans of dealing with it like she had imagined on Earth. Whatever lay ahead of them could be handled.

She’d keep it quiet. It would be her little secret.

Till she’d fainted in front of everyone, at least.

Another argument had broken out between Karkat and Vriska, Terezi egging on from the side and Dave adding the occasional beatbox for effect much to everyone’s annoyance and amusement in equal measure. Rose and Kanaya were observing and commenting for the most part, following them all up the stairs, but the growing intensity of the clog meant that the foot traffic had come to a stop.

Moments ticked by, then minutes.

Rose felt the shake in her knees, the cold sweat on her brow starting up.

“Dear, are you quite alright? You look pale.”

“I’m fine,” she promised with a smile, looking ahead at the group who took up the stairwell. Surely they’d move any moment. Any time now. Any second. They couldn’t argue forever, not even Karkat and Vriska on a bad day, it would end any time. She just needed to hold on, and then she’d be back upstairs with her book on the sofa, feet up, recovering stealthily yet again.

The argument dragged on, and the pain in her chest started up. Vision blurring, Rose turned her head to glance down the stairs, half turning. Maybe she could go back downstairs and use the restroom or something instead, buy time for them to move while having an excuse on hand so nobody would be suspicious.

“I’m-” she started to say.

Her legs buckled beneath her, and she knew no more.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“See, if you’d just moved your ass instead of backing up into the wall like a cornered meowbeast, this wouldn’t have happened.”

“It’s not like I pushed her! I don’t know who pushed her!”

“Nobody pushed her, she just collapsed, I was right there. We’ve been over this.”

“Well, why did she collapse then!”

“Has she been drinking or something?”

“No, not that I’m aware. She ate earlier, too.”

“Sleeping?”

“Plenty.”

Rose slowly opened her eyes and stared up quietly at the ceiling, the view from the floor at the bottom of the staircase. The argument had a new source now, the squabble more contained than before, but still lively. Kanaya was watching Terezi pull Karkat and Vriska physically apart like she wanted to jump in and do it herself, but she kept her cool hands on Rose’s arm instead, immobilized. Dave had a notebook he was using like a fan over her face, cooling her off, drying the remaining sweat on her brow. He stopped when he realized she was awake, setting it aside and pushing his shades up the bridge of his nose.

She knew that look. Worry. Suspicion. It made her stomach ache a bit with guilt.

“You good now?”

“...Yeah. I fell?”

“Swan dived face first for the concrete, more like.”

Kanaya’s head jerked her direction and she smiled broader, leaning down to hug Rose tight around the shoulders.

“I was so worried! You’re not hurt, are you?”

“No,” she admitted, surprised. “How-”

“I’m quick,” Dave shrugged, glancing to the side. Kanaya pressed a kiss to her cheek before carefully helping her to sit upright. “Hey, yo, shut the fuck up, she’s awake now. Everyone can stop the blame game, new topic after a quick five.”

“Lalonde, what was that about!” Vriska said immediately. “Did you just trip over your own feet?”

“Kanaya said she collapsed,” Terezi sighed. “Not tripped.”

Karkat glowered, but crossed his arms and was quiet for a moment before speaking. “Thanks for not painting the floor with your thinkpan, we’ve got enough problems around here witho- UGH” he grunted, Terezi’s elbow making swift contact with his side, halting his contribution to the subject.

“Are you sick or something?” Terezi asked.

Rose furrowed her brow, looking around at everyone. Looking back to Dave, looking to Kanaya, both of whom briefly exchanged knowing glances. It appeared the jig was up. Now to just let the cat out of the bag properly so it would stop suffocating.

“I fainted,” Rose said.

“No fucking shit,” came Karkat’s helpful response.

“It’s. ...I’ve done it before,” Rose said, trying to measure her words, trying to figure out how to explain quickly not only to Dave but to members of an entirely different species. “On Earth I was sick. I’m still sick.”

“So we just need to get you medicine or something, right?” Dave said.

She shook her head.

“I’m already taking my medicine best I can.”

“Man, if you know how to make meds can you whip up some pepto or somethin’, because I think I’m gonna die if I don’t get hold of some before the next time we eat makeshift Alternian shit,” Dave said. Rose shook her head again.

“Water and salt.”

“What about it?” said Kanaya, rubbing Rose’s upper back when she still looked a bit woozy. Rose accepted the invitation and leaned into her shoulder, hugging her with one arm to give herself a bit more courage.

“That’s the medicine.”

“...I don’t follow.”

Rose groaned and dropped her head against Kanaya’s neck for a moment before sighing and straightening once more.

“I’ve got a condition called POTS.”

“Like-”

“No, not like fucking weed. It’s Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome.”

“What the fuck does all that mean? Are you contagious?” Karkat asked, getting another sharp elbow from Terezi, hard enough he slapped at her arm afterwards a few times in annoyance. “Will you knock that the fuck off?!”

“Don’t you think she would’ve mentioned something if she was?”

“SHE’S A FUCKING ALIEN! How do we know if it’s not contagious to US?” he argued, taking a quick step back to avoid yet another elbow coming his direction. Vriska caught him around the neck and scrubbed her knuckles deep against his scalp till he cringed.

“Preeeeeeeetty sure she would’ve said something that important before no- YOW!”

More than a little annoyed, Terezi yanked a section of Vriska’s hair till she released the thrashing Karkat, then quickly slapped a hand Karkat’s direction to keep him at bay.

“What’s it mean,” she said simply.

“It means my body is stupid and my brain doesn’t get enough blood to it when I’m upright. It all goes to my legs and can’t get back up to my head fast enough,” she said. “My heart races very badly and I feel like I’m dying and I get very weak. I get tired. I get sick. And if I’m not careful, I faint.”

“So it wasn’t a vitamin problem,” Dave mumbled. “Fuckin’ knew it.”

Kanaya frowned a bit, lifting a hand up to stroke a section of Rose’s bangs away from her face, to stroke down the side of her cheek with her thumb. “Why didn’t you tell us sooner? We could have watched out for you.”

“I didn’t want to hold anyone back,” Rose shrugged. “I thought I could handle it. And I didn’t want-”

“UGH great! Now we’ve got a whole person who’s useless to cope with!” Vriska shouted, rubbing her eyes with one hand.

“That,” Rose said flatly, more than a little annoyed.

“She’s not useless, she’s sick,” Dave said.

“SAME DIFFERENCE! It’s a weakness! A BIG weakness! We’re heading towards a huge fight and we can’t count on you at all now!”

Rose set her jaw. “I can handle myself. I just have to be quick an-”

“You can’t handle yourself, you just fell down the stairs from standing still! What if you collapse during battle, huh? What then? I’m sure as shit not sweeping in to save you, and we need all the god tier powers we can get to be FUNCTIONAL during a fight!” Vriska continued, yanking her hair free from Terezi’s hand to stalk closer, staring down where Rose sat, arms crossed. “What can you do? Ranged attacks while sitting down?”

Releasing Kanaya, Rose stood up quickly, immediately regretting it when her vision swam again. She braced herself and bent her knees before locking them in a wider stance for balance. It was a weak spot. A point of pride was that she’d come this far just fine as it was, and now that the cat was out of the bag her worst fears were coming true.

“Hey, easy, don’t go down again,” Dave said from behind her.

“Shut up, I’m fine!” Rose insisted. “What do you want me say, Vriska! That I promise I won’t collapse? You don’t know what I’m capable of in a fight! You don’t know what options I have on hand! Don’t discredit me just because I have this bullshit to deal with. If I can work around it, so can you. If you can’t then which of us is weaker in the end, me or you?”

It was spoken as a challenge, pure and simple. Tension was thick in the air as they stared each other down, Rose with her hands balled into fists, Vriska with crossed arms. Everyone was waiting for something to give, for the other shoe to drop.

“...Whatever,” Vriska muttered, the first to break position. She turned around and lifted her arms behind her head to stretch as she went up the stairs. “Humans are so fragile and booooooooring! Terezi, come help with dinner, I don’t know what to aim for this time.”

A collective breath was released. Terezi smirked a bit.

“That was pretty good, Lalonde. Normally she’d have kept going, but I think you got her in a corner now.”

“TEREZI, COME ON, I’M HUNGRY!”

“I’m coming, I’m coming, keep your rumble spheres tethered!” she shouted, before turning with a laugh like broken glass to run up the stairs after her friend.

Karkat, alone with the trio, watched Terezi run off before looking back towards Rose. She shuddered, then quickly sat back down on the ground and flopped onto her back with a heavy sigh.

“I’m fine!” she was quick to say. “Just. Need to be down for a second. Just a second. Holy shit.”

“What, think you were gonna get into a catfight?” Dave asked, picking up the notebook again to sway over her face a few times just in case it was useful again.

“Yes!”

“Would’ve been funny,” he admitted.

“Would’ve been hilarious if this is what finally got us at each other’s throats,” she said sarcastically.

“How do you feel now that everyone knows what has been wrong?” Kanaya asked, stretching her legs out before scooting closer to Rose’s side and laying back as well. “Relieved?”

“Yes. ...Though. What if she’s right…?”

“First time for everything,” Dave shrugged. “Here, lift your heads up,” he instructed as he dropped the notebook and instead lifted his cape, scooting it in a wad beneath their heads. He settled opposite Rose and stretched out as well, one knee bent up so he could tap his foot occasionally, arms splayed out.

Karkat waited for a moment before Dave patted the open space in the circle, then came closer and flopped down as well, hands on his stomach.

“...So you’re SURE you’re not contagious.”

“Dude, with how often she swaps spit with Kanaya I’m pretty sure you’re safe just breathin’ the same air if she’s unaffected,” Dave pointed out.

“Well, good. ...Sorry for asking earlier,” he muttered. “I just didn’t know what to think! Lalonde being sick out of nowhere is-”

“It was rather obvious, if you watched her closely. Something was wrong even if I didn’t know what,” Kanaya said. Dave nodded as well, making Rose groan and cover her face with her hands.

“How obvious was I?”

“Real obvious,” Dave snorted. “Don’t worry about it. We’ve got your back now, and we’ll have your back durin’ a fight. You know that.”

“I’ll slice anything that comes for you if you go down,” Karkat said helpfully. Given how much work he’d done hoping to be a threshcutioner before,

Kanaya reached for Rose’s hand as it came away from her face and gave it a squeeze. “We all do.”

“Yeah,” Rose sighed. “Yeah. I know. You’re right.”

She had backup now. And a while to think of how to explain everything to the others when they met up with them.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It felt like years ago, that final battle. Maybe because it had been years by then. It was kind of hard to keep track sometimes, really. She’d held her own, had backup, and they had all come out on top. They’d made a new world, populated it, let it grow and come back to live amongst everyone. She’d been hopeful that after all that, after all the advancements, there would be progress in her own disorders. Treatment options beyond salt and water, beyond stockings.

The fact there wasn’t, that it was still a chronic illness, that there was no magical cure in a special pill to take even after all of that, felt a bit like a slap in the face. Somehow, despite everything, having that bit of hope crushed had been enough to send her into a depression deep enough that it took months for friends and family to help pull her out of it.

There was no ‘better’. There was just coping. And she had to be okay with that.

She had options at least, thankfully. She could fly to get places faster than walking, even if she was on a harsher timer than before. She could drive. Her home was comfortable and easily accommodated a wheelchair that she could use outside of the home as well, half the time pushing herself along and the other half of the time being pushed by Kanaya when she got too tired. Life was good in many ways, even if there was no miracle to be had.

She was alive, married to the love of her life. She had friends and family surrounding her. She had aspirations for a long future, and hobbies that kept her plenty busy. It was enough for her.

When Kanaya leaned down behind her to kiss the side of her neck, sharp fangs barely there on her skin, Rose pulled the brakes on her chair and reached back to stroke Kanaya’s hair fondly. Her wife sat down beside her on the dock, overlooking the vast lake, and squinted out over the shimmering surface to make out where their friends were. A boat was heading this way and that trailing a water skier behind on a tow line, while two people flew above it keeping an eye on whoever was below kicking up wake behind them.

“Are you sure you didn’t want to participate?” Kanaya asked, amused when the skier went down into the water and was pulled up by the two flying lifeguards. “They said they had an innertube as well. You could sit and be towed.”

“Mmm. I’m fine,” Rose said with a smile. “Maybe next time, I don’t much feel like getting wet today. What about you? It looks plenty safe. Roxy and John wouldn’t let anyone drown.”

“I’d rather be near you,” she shrugged. “Perhaps we can have a turn in the boat instead later. We could take a tour around the lake without getting wet.”

“I love how your mind works,” Rose chuckled. She stretched a bit, then pushed the legs of her chair straight out, propping her legs straight out in front of her with a grateful sigh, pooled blood circulating somewhat easier again.

The skier was, apparently, Karkat. At least that’s what the shouting and cursing indicated as he struggled in the air with the duo holding him up safely. He dropped back into the lake with a splash, only to be carefully fished out again and deposited on the boat. Rose snorted a laugh before giggling at just how silly the situation looked from a distance, knowing she’d hear all about the details of it later from everyone involved. Kanaya looked at her with a soft smile before leaning against the side of the chair, nudging Rose’s leg till she stroked at her head and horns as one would pet a cat.

“I’m so glad to hear that sound…”

“Laughter? I’ve laughed a lot recently, haven’t I?” Rose asked, a little confused.

“Yes. You’ve been in such a good mood lately, compared to before. Every time I hear you laugh or see you smile it’s like sunshine.”

Rose leaned forward to press a kiss between Kanaya’s horns, making her wife hum softly, blissfully.

“You know just what to say to make an already good day better.”

Somehow, Rose felt, every day was just more proof that everything was going to be okay now.

((If you would like to learn more about POTS please visit this website for information!

http://www.dysautonomiainternational.org/page.php?ID=30))

[grimoireofwritings]

Hiii again!! I cant get enough with ur writing. Please if u dont mind making one., again? UMM where Langris is very jealous to the black bull bcoz his s/o (fem) (a member of black bull) and shes very close with them. Or just along the lines? Thank you agaaain!!

Hello again my dear!! No need to apologize, you can send in as much as your heart desires. I am deeply sorry this is sooooo shamefully late. Chronic health difficulties have gotten a bit complicated lately and I'm trying to be more consistent with this blog. Hopefully the scenario was worth the wait!

Also I headcanon William is the squad's therapist on many occasions, you can't change my mind 💀

Scenario: Langris Vaude's fem s/o is in the black bulls.. and he's jealous!!

No matter how much he pushed the aching itch at the front of his mind away, or brushed aside the little intrusive thoughts he experienced day by day, sometimes even going so far as to manifest them in little growls of frustration and the tightening of his jaw... Langris Vaude was failing horribly... Miserably, even, to set aside his personal emotions regarding the whereabouts of his partner.

She... With those gorgeous (e/c) sparkling hues that always lit up at the sight of something she loved.. and the way the sunlight often glimmered so flawlessly against the soft sheen of her hair - was far too beyond his reach for his comfort. Not only that, it completely wracked at his nerves on a daily basis.. that he... That person.. got to see her and her beauty far more than Langris ever did.

His brother. And the black bulls in general. So unworthy of her presence, her stunning grace. Not only that, he knew about his damn brother. And even he had to admit that he'd be a blind fool not to recognize such a gorgeous woman in his proximity. Considering that shameless flirting habit, it made him grit his teeth knowing that Finral was inevitably wooing her on a daily basis. Beyond his control.

"Does he even realize how lucky he is to be graced with her mere presence?? So undeserving.."

This had been Langris' current obsession for about a month now, and it haunted him, even going as far as losing sleep against his own will. It was getting to the point that he was grinding his teeth and mumbling to himself, much to the dismay and terror of his subordinates as he passed them by in the HQ's long hallways... Probably fearing for their lives being so close to his dangerous aura, permeating off of him like a toxin.

But after one last all-nighter of complete mental torture, he was done in, he had finally caved. It took a lot, and I mean a shit load of stress to force Langris into swallowing his pride. Something he was about to do that morning.

He knew Captain Vangeance was up, even at this ungodly hour. The man seemed to enjoy getting up at the crack of dawn to get a head start on his work load, for the sake of having spare time in the evenings to tend to his private garden. Yet here was he, concerningly deep and dark bags under his eyes, as he paced and debated with himself outside the Captain's door to his office, feeling held back by his own dignity on the line to actually knock.

Eventually though, his choice was made for him, as his mumbling was interrupted by the door opening up. There was his Captain, the same trademark amiable smile on his face as he appeared before him, seemingly in a bit of a preoccupied hurry. He halted completely though upon spotting his Vice Captain, raising a brow, before his expression immediately faltered into a look of concern at the sight of Langris appearing so unhinged. Was something going on that he had failed to notice?

"Langris, good morning. You look troubled. Is there something I can help you with?" He tilted his head expectantly, a friendly and welcoming look in his eyes behind that mask of his. Langris bit his lip.. somehow the open offer made him feel even more on edge than he'd expected. Geez.. why did his Captain have to be such an insufferable softie??

Giving a few reluctant grumbles, the shorter spacial mage gave a slow nod. "Yeah... I came for some.. advice" he said, begrudgingly managing to spit out the last word distastefully. And to his slight surprise, Vangeance didn't hesitate to give a nod and he opened up the door to his office, offering the space for the two of them. "Of course. Step inside."

There was a bit of an awkward quietness as they did just that, Langris being sure to avoid eye contact - as he instead focused on the sensation of a crisp breeze passing by through the opened windows and the faint scent of the flowers William cared for in his office. It brought "life" to the space, the Captain had said.. it had made Langris scoff.

He watched Vangeance approach his desk, but instead of circling around to take a seat, he settled for leaning back against the wooden mahogany top, letting it support his weight. "Alright. What's on your mind?" He asked. It honestly sometimes amazed Langris how the Captain managed to speak in a way that was both gentle and calming, yet straightforward and confident.

"I... Have.... A girlfriend..." He started after an agonizingly long pause. Each word seemed so painfully difficult to force out through gritted teeth. But after another few passing moments, the image popped into his tormented mind again. Finral... That ridiculous, stupid, idiotic grin on his face as he flirted in the most unbecoming, disrespectful way to his precious y/n. And that was it - his resolve broke. And his insecurities became less important than his need to vent.

"She's with the black bulls. She's a magic knight under Yami and... Sometimes I just get so pissed off that my damn good for nothing brother gets to spend far more time with her than I ever can. I'm so busy and swamped with work here that I hardly even have time to make plans.. and take her on dates. I want to treat her with the respect and care she deserves, but.. I can't. And that makes me afraid."

He was gritting his teeth, utterly humiliated as tears began to prick his eyes. Why? He figured it was probably because he hadn't actually talked about his feelings with someone in ages. Perhaps he'd repressed more than he realized.

"Afraid she'll abandon you for something or someone else..?" William prompted gently. And Langris nodded. "Yeah.. I mean, my brother. We all know he was the one out of my family that our peers preferred. I was better, I was praised, I was rewarded on a materialistic level for talent. But I was never.. liked. In the way he was. With that whole soft hearted sensitive guy display. She's around him, all day, every day.. and I just... I..."

He finally cracked a bit more and planted his face in his hands, unable to finish. Completely destraught. And he was forced in that moment to face his own inner ugliness - the insecurities and jealousy he felt so much shame for harboring at all.

William gave him a brief moment, both to ensure he had finished saying all he needed to express, and to truly consider those words. He hummed. "I see. It seems this is something that's been deeply disturbing you and impacting your health, even. A very painful and helpless situation, by the sound of it. It pains me to see you so destraught, Langris."

For a moment, as Vangeance removed his mask and placed it neatly beside him, Langris mistook a look of sympathy and empathy in those eyes for something as disgusting as pity. And he snapped, making an impulsive remark in his state of frightened vulnerability.

"Whatever. As if you have any experience with women to begin with, what with that face-"

He halted abruptly before he could finish. No, that was unacceptably harsh. "I apologize." He mumbled, a moment later. William Vangeance sighed deeply, brushing off the remark. It clearly stung but he was far more concerned about his underling than himself at that moment. "You're forgiven, Langris."

The Vice Captain began to shuffle and twitch nervously, this was going so much worse than he even thought possible. But that changed with William's next words.

"Langris. I think you ought to have a little more faith in your partner's judgement, and her decision making. Despite all the time she spends with the black bulls, and your brother, she still chose you, above them. She developed those special feelings for you, and at the end of the day, you are her person.. the person she loves. Trust that judgement of hers, and that she hand selected you for a reason. Women are smart like that, they hardly waste their time with someone they aren't interested in. I am positive she cherishes you, and thinks of you, every day."

He smiled, and even approached his subordinate with a warmth in his expression. "I think.. perhaps it would reassure you to reach out to her, a bit more. She understands you have a lot of responsibility, but with women, I've definitely perceived that they appreciate even the smallest gestures immensely. Send her hand written notes, flowers, or even sweets. Whatever you know she likes the most, and would appreciate as a gesture of affection. It will remind her that you're thinking of her, and likewise, I'm positive she will respond to you in a way that provides you some peace of mind. Rekindle that romance, and maybe even.. consider opening up to her about your feelings, like you have right now."

Langris interrupted, shaking his head stubbornly. "No. Then she'll know how weak I am" he stated. Vangeance chuckled, his smile softening. "Hmm.. I disagree. I can garuntee you that she will perceive such vulnerability as trust. She'll see that you trust her integrity to confide in her. That will strengthen your relationship with her more than anything else. I promise.. just try it once, and tell me how it works out."

Langris puffed a sigh through his cheeks. "Fine... Fine. Fine." He repeated the word, each time a bit more in defeat. "Listen.. I'll try it, but only because I'm desperate. And because I want to, not because you told me to."

With that, William held back a grin of amusement, and he nodded in satisfaction. "Of course. Hopefully, that will help you out. But besides that.. I think I'm going to give you some time off. Go see her, and spend some quality time by her side. I think it would do you some good."

Langris raised a brow, seemingly a bit confused. "But Captain, all my work-" he was interrupted by a hand, that was held upwards with a sense of finality. "No buts. Besides... Your quality of work is suffering anyway due to your current state of health. I'd rather you go take care of yourself first, then return to finish up your tasks properly. Until then, I'll take care of things. You have my word that everything will be fine."

Langris took a few long moments to ponder this, and his Captain's gesture. He started to realize more and more, working alongside Vangeance, why his squad was so fiercely loyal to him, and that their team was so successful to begin with.

"Alright. I'll accept your offer. Vangeance..."

He glanced up at his Captain sheepishly as he followed the scarred man towards the exit of his office.

"Thank you. Very much."

[zuffer-weird-girl]

SFW ALPHABET Chronostasis/ Kurono Hari

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Not very much when around people, but behind close doors? Oh boi, he is always peppering your head, cheeks, lips with kisses.

He is both a man of action and words so go ahead and enjoy yourself with our blockhead ^^

B = Beginning (How would the relationship start?)

Hari is dense with relationships, he might like you but damn is hard fro him to make the first move so you might need to straight up tell this idiot that you like him and kiss him.

Apreciate his shock face. Seriously apreciate! IS RARE TO SEE HIM SHOCKED SO APRECIATED IT AND KISS HIM MORE!

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Yes of course he does LOVE IT!

Kurono doesn't mind being either big spoon or little spoon if they can still be chest to chest with you. But he does enjoy when he is sitting with your head rested on his chest as he carres your arm and hair.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He is a bit hesitant since all of his life on the Yakusa and being Overhaul's right hand man but he does wish secretly to have a cozy lifestyle with you as long as you guys taste some adrenaline from time to time.

Kurono is amazing at cooking and cleaning but sorry, you aren't escaping the house chores.

Cmon this guy already work his ass off to the Hassaikai GIVE HIM A BREAK!

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He really wouldn't like to break up. But if is needed or you or him messed up BADLY them he would, begrudily tell you to leave him.

He would try to fix things, but if you betrayal his trust than its game over. It's hard to get him to loose up, so no. Not ever seing or hearing of him again... unless I dunno if he is oN JAIL-!

F = Fiancé(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Errrr

Difficult topic.

Marriage does scary him a bit, but he is not oppose to it. He doesn't though want you to get hurt by his affiliations with the mafia but still would do everything to protect you and his possible babies ^^

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

If you manage to break his walls then surprise surprise HE iS A SoFTiE-!

His hugs are magical! His kisses leave you on cloud nine and it's just feel so right! So loveable and soft and warm oh god all of him is perfect (is kurono simping hours)

He would listen to every problem you have without a complain and ping! Comfort hugs and food and kisses TAKE HIS KISSES!

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

As stated before. It feels just right.

You would feel secure on his arms and all warm, surely you wont feel cold. He likes to prop his chin on your head and just enjoy the feeling of you on him as his arms cling onto your waist or shoulders.

Is quite frequent quick hugs from behind and rarely cuddle sections since he doesn't like much staying still when you are around, he might enjoy what he has until Overhaul is requesting his presence again.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

If you were friends before he is fast enough to saythe three magical words. For real, he might even say before you.

But if you two weren't friends and are only meeting now it might take a little while longer, not longer than Chisaki but still-!

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Soft, magical, right and most important, addictive.

He likes kissing ever part of you and enjoys the same treatment.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

PRETTY GOOD (despite what happened to Eri-)

Children actually feel more at ease with him. One time you two were walking and a baby was crying non stop until he passed bye and waved at the kid. He even holded for a bit and the toddler was actually giggling!

10/10 for papa Hari

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Soft, on his days off mostly because if not he is only kissing your cheek and storming off.

He will hug you tightly while staring at the ceiling, if you start to kiss him he would chuckle a bit before pinning you to the bed to show how glorious his body is as he looks down at you like you are his whole world.

"My turn~"

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Poor man will just collapse in you and groan how much his back and legs are in pain and just how much he is tired.

Rub his back or give him a little massage and he becomes potty in your arms. Might be grumpy about how he is suppose to be taking care of you instead of the other way around but just kiss him to make this dumbass to shut up.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Oof! This one is just as a hard head as Overhaul!

It will take a lot of time for him to be open to you, I guess it would take 2 to 3 years to at least spill the tea for you.

It would feel like a weight left his shoulders after it.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Pretty difficult with this one. He likes to talk things out instead of yelling so it would take a lot for him to be angry.

Like hurt yourself for a stupid reason at the point of go to the hospital. He is furious more at himself though relax.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He is the worst with numbers and dates, but little things like what kind of food you like or even that little detail you talked about one of your favorite clothes.

Asides from dates, he is the best of remembering things.

And he marks dates on his calendar to not forget anymore because of you so win win.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Hm.

When you guys made your first mischief together.

It can be anything, is just so hilarious to him but still loveable when you both exchanged glances at the exact same time before running from being yelled at. Hand in hand even.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Not much just when necessary. Subsconciously wrap a hand on your waist if someone is looking.

If they so much dare to flirt with you and you uncomfortable he just show a part of his gun hidden on his waist, one glare at them is enough to scare the poor soul away but he still growls like a damn wolf a "back off."

Just protecting his emotional state leave him at ease since this man is clearly overworked. He would just roll his eyes with a smirk before grabbing on your shoulder gently.

"Is not necessary love, I swear."

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Lots.

You are his everything, he doesn't want to lose you because of how much he works so he puts a lot of time on making dinner bu the light of the moon and candles.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Bitting his nails, spacing out, put work sometimes before you because he thinks is for the best and for your protection, and way more importantly and worrying:

Problem of hearing due to the much sounds of gunshots it currently will damage his eating so might be alert to that.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks? Do your looks bother them?)

Not much sincee this bastard knows he is quite good looking but still has a bit of insecurity due to his quirk where is located on his hair.

Got teased a lot as a child and even as a teenager from it...

Your looks are the same thing as perfection for him, so he doesn't bother with it.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

He feels at ease with you, more at peace and loved so of course he would feel incomplete, especially where he lives and what he has to deal with...

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Knows more shit about guns then actually of himself holy shit, and gets all giddy and happy if he has the chance of seing and using a new gun and gushes to you about.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

They wouldn't like if you put others before yourself neither when you brush off a injury as if was nothing.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs? Does it change around a partner?)

Ding ding here is the thing: he doesn't do much of sleep. He has chronic insonia (lol) but still gets to rest and just take a little nap only if you are with him and are on his room.

Either alone or in another place he wont be able to.

[midearthwritings]

Could I please get an Lotr and The Hobbit Matchup, of you're still doing them? Thanks so much!

🌱 18 year old Woman // Bisexual // Autistic and Disabled with a bonus Anxiety Disorder

🌱 I have a litany of Chronic Illnesses including Autism, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Depression, Dyscalculia (Dyslexia for Math), Scoliosis, Sleep Apnea, Asthma, a Growth Hormone Deficiency, Insomnia, and a very bad Overbite. I also have a condition where my right leg is physically longer than my left, which causes pain in my hip and right leg, as well as trouble walking. My usual symptoms include Fatigue, Back Pain, Executive Dysfunction (struggle to get tasks done), Difficulty breathing and talking, Very short stature, and difficulties with my balance. I also stim by pacing around in circles and talking to myself.

🌱 I have a serious fear of heights, partially because of my balance issues. It's so bad that I can't even use stairs without holding onto the railing.

🌱 I know a lot of Home Remedies and Superstitions for like no reason. For instance, did you know that Raspberry Tea helps with Menstrual Pain, or that knocking on wood invokes the protection of the tree spirit and that’s why it’s said to give you luck? I don’t know why I know that, but I do.

🌱 Winning a fight is on my bucket list, but it has to be for a good reason. I’m not one to just pick fights for the sake of fighting, and I’m actually pretty conflict-averse due to trauma, so I need to actually have a solid reason for throwing hands. But I’ve always wanted to do it for some reason.

🌱 I really like studying Witchcraft for some reason. The first spell I ever performed was a Healing Spell to help my friend who was sick with Crohn's Disease. Thirty minutes after performing the ritual, I got a text saying he felt a lot better and he was released from the hospital a couple days later, so I guess it must’ve worked. 😁

🌱 My love language is definitely gift giving. I’m pretty cheap, but I’m also an artist, so when push comes to shove I’ll just make something for someone when I like them. I pay very close attention to what people like because it gives me more ideas on how to interact with them. I’m essentially a large, flightless Crow. You were nice, so you get something shiny. But though I like giving gifts to others, I’m not very materialistic at all. I prefer to be practical when it comes to things, and I get very nervous when spending money on myself.

🌱 I’m an avid writer and am actually planning on publishing a book this summer!

🌱 I LOVE going outside and getting messy. Playing in the mud, getting soaked in the rain, I’m the type to go outside and come back home covered in dirt and twigs. It’s just really fun to me.

🌱 I've been told that I'm a very good cook, and I can bake pretty well too.

🌱 I’ve always wanted to be a really good gardener. My dream house is just covered in flowers and plants and such. I want to live in a Greenhouse, basically.

🌱 I have a habit of giggling to myself just by remembering something funny that happened, even if it was a couple years ago. I also laugh when I do something stupid, because I find my flaws and shortcomings funny for the most part. I love to laugh with people, but never at them.

🌱 I know way too much about Spirits and Fae. My favorite book is called ‘The Encyclopedia of Spirits’ and it shows you how to contact and interact with a ton of different deities and spirits, and I’m addicted to reading it. It’s the best.

🌱 I’m basically like a tiny, less-impressive Aragorn. I love travelling on foot, getting messy outside, I was kind of a Horse Girl as a kid ngl, I’ve always wanted to be a knight or king of some sort, chances are that I haven’t bathed in awhile, and I too would pine for a hot elf girl for literal years on end.

🌱 My closest friends say I give off “Dwobbit” vibes. That’s a ½ Dwarf and ½ Hobbit btw. I’m around 4’ 10” tall, I don’t shave, I love crafting and art, I live in the Mountains, I’m tomboyish but I also love gardening and can be a bit of a homebody, I love going barefoot, etc.

🌱 I really love History, Folklore, Mythology and Fairy Tales. My favorite is the Irish myth of Oisín in Tir Na Nog. Look it up if you don’t know it, it’s a fantastic story. But I also appreciate myths from all sorts of different cultures, like the myth of Annapurna in India or the tale of Princess Kaguya in Japan.

🌱 I’m an Aquarius, INFP and 4w5 if that means anything. For reference, characters who are also 4w5 INFPs include Lydia Deetz (Beetlejuice), Wirt (Otgw), Frankenstein’s Monster, Luna Lovegood (HP), Napstablook (Undertale), Erik The Phantom of the Opera, and Celeste from Animal Crossing. That kinda tells you a lot about me, doesn’t it?

🌱 I am naturally very shy and take awhile to open up to people. I also get flustered very easily and tend to avoid social interaction a lot. I’m a huge introvert, but I also really do love meeting interesting people, so I try to talk to them when I have the energy to.

🌱 I have very long Disheveled brown hair, that actually used to be blonde when I was little, so there’s a few lighter patches in there. It's essentially a fluffy mane at this point, but because of my poor hand-eye coordination I never learned how to braid it. I have really pale skin, with lots of moles, freckles and scabs. It’s also warmer out, so I almost certainly have a farmer’s tan. I have very light blue eyes and glasses.

🌱 I have a habit of seeing shadows move out of the corners of my eyes, frequently mistaking them for people or animals, but when I turn to look there’s nothing there. I’ve gotten my eyesight checked multiple times, but there’s nothing out of the ordinary, so it’s either a lack of sleep, or the Fae are getting antsy with me. Probably the former of course, but part of me would like to believe the latter too.

Sorry the description is so long, I can't wait to see my results! Thanks so much, wishing you the best!!

Hey darling! First, wow that was really long! Sorry for taking so long to make it, as I mentioned before, I'm a fucking procrastinator.

Aragorn

For LOTR, I'm pairing you up with Aragorn.

Aragorn had probably loved you for a really really long time.

But he's extremely patient and careful with you, so it took him a while to confess his love.

When he did, it was kind of overwhelming for you, and you were really doubting the whole thing. But again, he was really patient with you.

Aragorn doesn't cover you in gifts to show his love. He shows it by remembering all those little things that make you you.

The two of you can spend hours telling stories and tales to the other. It's your favorite thing to do together.

He loves that you write and always ask to read your work. Although, he never pushes you and respects you when you refuse.

He knows about every single one of your illnesses and makes sure that you always have what you need.

Bilbo Baggins

For the Hobbit, I picked Bilbo.

Bilbo loves you deeply and truly. He thinks all the things that are annoying to others are what make you the most unique being he has ever met.

He thinks listening to you tell tales is more fascinating than reading.

Most of all, he loves when you read to him the stories that you have created.

Sometimes, your illnesses are a bit complicated for him to understand, but he does his best and listens to your needs.

His favorite thing to do with you is cooking. Sometimes, you will even compete over who is the best cook. Although he admitted more than once that you were.

When you are out gardening, he sits outside with you and watches you. He thinks it's beautiful how hard you work to make his garden look so gorgeous.

He is often insecure about losing you. He is scared that he won't be able to provide you with what you need, or won't be able to show you how much he loves you.

As for you, you fear that one day he might grow tired of you.

But the communication in your relationship is great and your insecurities are even washed away by promises of eternal love.

Again, sorry for the wait! I hope you liked it!

[aziraphalesangel]

“So, I took {youngest sister} to the paediatrician yesterday. she gained seven kilos. the doctor says she needs to slow down her eating”

“She’s fourteen.”

“I said it was probably the pork buns. I told her if she keeps eating them she’ll start looking like a pork bun.”

“She’s still growing.”

“Apparently she only grew a centimetre this time.”

“She’s only just started puberty. half that weight’s gone to her chest.”

“I know, she went up 4 cup sizes in six months”

“She’s fourteen.”

“She’s 63kg. That’s heavier than you right?”

“...”

��She’s getting a bit of a belly.”

“She’s fourteen.”

There seems to be this idea, that kids just crave being skinny just because. just because of social media, just because of airbrushed pictures in magazines, just because of media, just because of celebrities, just because, just because. And people really thought, the adults really thought, that teaching us about “Body Image” in high school was going to solve that. That telling us that those pictures were doctored, that social media influencers are fake. we know. for fuck’s sake give teenagers a bit of credit. 

You know what was always dumb? When teachers got told to sandwich body image and mental health topics in between subjects like obesity in young people. That one second you have an adult telling you that you should love your body, that it will be changing because puberty is a thing that happens, that you will have a growth spurt, that sometimes you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see and that means you brain is lying to you (that was a stupid thing to say to kids), and then you tell us, that there is a growing problem of obesity in children. That gaining weight is bad.

I can’t speak for other people’s schools, or the areas that grew up in, but my school didn’t seem to have those allegedly CRIPPLINGLY obese kids. Of course there were fat kids; kids with a bit of chub around their waist, teenage girls with cellulite, boys with stretchmarks on their bellies, kids who wobbled when they ran. We were children. We were still growing. You can’t have a growth spurt without gaining weight. You cannot start puberty without the necessary fat stores. You just can’t. but instead of telling us that, they told us there was an obesity crisis, and we looked around the room at all the other normal looking kids and wondered who? And when we couldn’t figure it out, we asked: Me?

let me tell you a story:

When I was 12 I was a particularly weight. By the time I was 14, that weight had nearly doubled.

sounds bad right? 

let me tell you a story:

When I was 12, I weighed roughly 30kg. That is roughly 10 kilos underweight. I had this trick I could do when I was about eight, where I could shove my entire hand under my ribs. People told me I was skinny, but it was never the insult those people who like to derail fat positivity posts like to think it is. Not one adult ever told me I was unhealthy. Not one adult ever told me my weight was a problem. 

By the time I was 14, that weight had nearly doubled.

For the first time in my life I was a healthy weight, and all I could think about was that my stomach wasn’t flat anymore.

I was fourteen

Now lets look at how that mentality happens okay?

2013 I got instagram. I only followed my friends; a bunch of gangly and chubby 12 and 13 year olds. I didn’t care for magazines.

You know what else happened?

We started highschool; year 7. My friend’s parents were finalising their divorce. I didn’t know then, but one of the reasons her dad cheated was because he thought his wife had “let herself go”. Said wife was in her forties, and had given birth to two kids. I don’t know what he expected.

And my friend started parroting her mother. “I’m so bloated, I’m so fat. I can’t eat that, it has too many carbs.”

Never: I’ll get fat. Always: I am fat.

She was twelve. She hadn’t even started puberty yet.

You know what else happened?

2015, my family started going through some shit. My mum got diagnosed with a new chronic illness, which the doctor said she got because she was overweight. The advice the doctor gave her was to lose weight.

And suddenly, everything I ate was a personal attack on her. “Don’t eat that, it’s full of sugar. Don’t eat that, it has too much fat. Don’t buy that, I can’t eat it. If you eat that you’ll end up looking like it. If you eat that you’ll end up like me.”

And of course, my personal favourite: “Are you suuuuuure you should eat that?”

And a year later I was diagnosed with anxiety. Shocker.

My family used to be close to the family of a friend of mine. And my mum still mentions sometimes that the two youngest (a year older and younger than my youngest sister) were always hungry. Their parents used to starve them so that wouldn’t end up fat. I’m still friends with the girl my age, and she gets regularly and violently verbally abused for her weight, because she’s fat, and her siblings are skinny enough that you can see their ribs, and we all eat the same food, what’s your excuse? As if, just because you’re the same family, with the same food, that your genetics, your body, is all the same, all functions the same. As if it didn’t matter how good her achievements were in literally anything, she was fat, and her parents both made sure they would bully her until it just stopped. As if that’s how it works.

Watching my friends, go from these awkward funny kids, to very very anxious and depressed teenagers (and we all developed anxiety and depression to a degree, which is a post for another day), watching as some of them ended up hospitalised and forced to drop out of high school for eating disorders, watch as others tried to justify compulsive puking and laxative addictions with a smile on their face, because of their parents, it’s always because of the parents, or teachers, or whichever adult meant the most to us, because someone instilled that pathological fear of watching that number on the scaled tick up and up and up. Someone warned us that gaining weight meant we failed. And we believed them because we were children.

My little sister is seventeen. She lost seven kilos this year. Her ribs stick out, and when she lies on the floor on her stomach, she gets bruises on her hip bones. She’s still growing.

My little sister is fourteen. She gained seven kilos this year. She hasn’t, yet, internalised our mum’s fatphobia; she doesn’t care, yet, what she weighs. She doesn’t care, yet, what size clothes she wears. She had a big shit eating grin the day she was told her bras were too small. She’s fourteen. This year they did the body image module in PD/H, this year she went to a doctor for her ADHD, and instead they told her she needed to watch weight. This year will be the year adults start ramping up the policing of her eating habits. She’s fourteen.

Telling us there is an obesity crisis isn’t helping. Treating obesity as a social problem instead of a biological one isn’t helping. Doctors deciding their first advice, regardless of the condition, is to loose weight, isn’t helping. People on social media promoting laxative teas isn’t helping. Celebrity endorsement of weight-loss companies isn’t helping. Commercialising weight-loss isn’t helping. All this^ has done nothing to make society, broadly speaking, less fat. It has created a lot of eating disorders and mental illnesses though.

But blaming people’s obsession with being skinny on that, takes away from the very important fact that, the most harmful factor is our parents. And when you’re a teenager, or a young adult who can’t move out yet, you cannot escape that. Because there will always be someone nagging you about your weight, about what you’re eating, when you’re at home. And when you’re not?

Well I can’t speak for everyone, but when I’m eating out, what makes me choose the “healthy” option instead of the filling one, is that little voice in the back of my head muttering;

Are you suuuuuuuuure you should be eating that?

[shineonyoucrazyyandere]

Yandere Pesci with a s/o who likes to go on walks and spend time with him but can't due to a chronic illness? (Need me some pesci love ;-;/ )

Pesci is loved on this account, no ifs, ands or buts. He really deserves more poor guy. He’s a nervous boi sometimes.

Anywho it might not be exactly what you wanted, I kind of went my own way with it a little bit. Plus I always imagine Prosciutto helps with the more intense yan stuff, like don’t lose your target, get their location down, kidnap them if need be, charm them if you can, etc. etc. Overall Pesci is a more down to earth yandere, can’t say that for the rest of La Squadra (as they tend to pressure him to be a bit more intense and forward).

  Being an utterly nervous wreck had its disadvantages, especially for an assassin like Pesci was supposed to be. It certainly didn’t help when it came to falling hard for someone. He was like a lost puppy of sorts, clingy and shaking not wanting to lose something that made his heart flutter.

 Prosciutto caught on very quickly to his deep crush, and of course he wanted to instill wisdom just like he had in his line of work.

 “Tell me how long have you had a thing for them?” The blond inquired 

“J-just a few months now” 

““I see so that’s where some of your paycheck went, gifts...” he muttered more as an astute observance rather than something directed towards the man he looked over in assassinations.  “Have you approached them?” Prosciutto pried further 

 He shook his head at this question, and there was a soft tsk from his teammate’s lips. Though the man’s blue eyes quickly hastened to a somewhat more serious demeanor. His bro was always pretty quick witted when putting two and two together when it came to habits of other people. His own staying out late to sneak a peak at your home and drop of gifts was likely already on his more seasoned companion’s mind.  “You’re passionate about whoever this person is and hiding around a corner won’t do you any good, you need to be bold in your pursuit” His hands were now lying on Pesci’s own shoulders.

  “I’m certain you wouldn’t want another man or woman wedging themselves in between you and them correct?” He added on

 “Yeah, I’d uh hate that” Pesci nodded along, that was certainly true he’d be massively jealous of the stranger who approached such a sweet person like you. 

 “Well then, try and get them to yourself directly, without following them around all day”  the blond told him. “If you have to just delve into their vulnerabilities”

 “Otherwise more drastic measures might have to be taken”

   All of that Pesci remembered clear as day, be clear and concise. He just had to attempt to approach you and garner your attention. Of course he didn’t expect it to go down like it had. The area he had bumped into you at the time was pretty inconspicuous and somewhere you seemed to go to when you could.    You just dropped an item that you had purchased from a nearby shop. Of course he was all to eager to pick it up. Cause who knows what kind of person would’ve taken something you bought and would’ve handed it off for a quick grab of cash.

  “Oh you found this? Thank you!” You had given him a genuine smile 

He could barely contain the nervous joy that lied beneath his chest. Even more so he could only stutter out a your welcome.

  Apparently that had amused you to his surprise, usually people would scoff at his appearance and maybe make a snide remark behind his back. He knew he had fallen for the right person, this must be it.

  “Here, it’s the least I could give for you genuinely looking out for me” You had dug out some bills from your bag and were now holding it out towards the man.

 He anxiously took the money from you, as if waiting for an impending negative reaction. He innately knew for some reason you wouldn’t do such a thing but it was something just instilled in him honestly. Though for powering through his hesitance he felt good finally getting to see you face to face.

  Eventually he found himself strategizing of how to bump into you that wasn’t suspicious in nature. Keeping his composure probably helped too but Pesci couldn’t help but melt with every little kind smile you sent his way. You probably caught on to him seeing you often on a few of the same streets. But the way he was going about seeing you would hopefully be impressive to Prosciutto.

  “I don’t get out much honestly due to my condition” You told him one day

“So I don’t get to chat much with others, so it’s nice seeing someone come right to me for once”    He stared at you with fascination and adoration, maybe he wasn’t reading you right but it felt like there was some loneliness laced in your tone. Without hesitation he listened to every word that escaped your lips. You had friends sure but they lived some distance away, and you understood they couldn’t visit often because of that. Of course Pesci took this as a personal advantage, to his admittedly selfish desires.

   “And then I’m left gifts, mainly snacks of all things from who knows where...and I’m not sure whether to eat them or throw them out” You shrug with uncertainty.

  ““Most people...would uhm...say throw it out anyway right?” Pesci piped up nervously

“I suppose so...but I can tell they’re not resealed or anything....so I kind of feel bad” You sigh. “Call it naive or stupid even, but some of those I can’t help but keep around since a few of those treats are my favorites”

  He stared at you with deep interest, you actually liked what he bought you. Of course he er...eavesdropped and may have snuck into your apartment at one point. “Well uh if you don’t trust those, I could always buy you some” He meekly suggested. “Mmm...maybe some other time on another little walk of ours” You smiled 

“For now your company is all I really need”

[teflonsos]

⌠ MIGUEL HERRAN, 21, CISMALE, HE/HIM ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, RICARDO ‘RICKY’ ALONSO! according to their records, they’re a FIRST year, specializing in DRIVER’S ED; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (5 a.m. cigarettes after a sleepless night, the smell of burning rubber after driving so fast you break the sound barrier, cheap vodka in an expensive shotglass, scraped knees and elbows from reckless parkour). when it’s the (scorpio)’s birthday on 11/04/98, they always request their CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation. ⌿ kati, 23, est, she/her ⍀ @gallagherintro

STATS / PINTEREST / CONNECTIONS / CLASSES

INSPIRATION.

fernando alonso – formula 1

james hunt – formula 1

jp – redline

peter quill – guardians of the galaxy 

emmett cullen – twilight

mercutio – romeo & juliet

han solo – star wars

charlie pace – lost

vert wheeler – acceleracers 

BACKGROUND + CLICK FOR FULL BIO.

when ricky is born, there are expectations as the firstborn male but they are expectations that ricky refuses to meet. he’s stubborn, insolent, and straight up annoying. his dad is mysteriously never around and his mother suffers from chronic illness, so he generally has free range of the house and...free range to harass and drive out nanny after nanny

his younger sister is the balancing force in his life, proper in all the ways that he’s a mess and polite in all the ways that he’s uncouth. however, they get along really well and she’s his best friend in an otherwise large, empty house.

as he gets older, his father’s comings and goings are more noticeable to ricky and he realizes that he doesn’t really understand what his dad’s job actually is? and his father won’t answer his questions about it either. one night, when ricky is about ten years old, he sneaks downstairs to find his father covered in blood. at first he screams until he realizes, that’s not his father’s blood – it’s someone else’s.

put the pieces together, his dad is a blackthorne alumn, assassin, and...brotherhood member. 

ricky doesn’t really get the chance to be close with his parents, but he is super close with his grandfather. his grandfather is a big man with a full laugh who used to race formula one like, back in the sixties. he’s a big name, and ricky wants to be like him, and his grandfather is the one that gets ricky really into the sport. racing. 

ricky starts off by racing t cars, and when he’s fourteen and sneaking out to the track with his sister, things go awry. they’re stopped and kidnapped by brotherhood members. from conversations by the kidnappers, he can surmise that his father has something to upset the brotherhood and the kidnapping is a move to keep his father in his place. ricky have to listen to his father tell the kidnappers he doesn’t give a fuck about him (likely a bluff, but still stings) over the phone.

ricky’s father’s move doesn’t work, and he doesn’t get to them in time. ricky has to beg on the phone for his life. a gunshot rings out. everything else is a blur.

ricky wakes up the next day with a million questions, but there’s one answer: his sister will never walk again. a gunshot has left her without the use of her legs, but otherwise she’ll make a full recovery. she encourages ricky to continue his racing and tells him how much she believes in him.

he takes home trophies year after year while t car racing and people start to learn ricky’s name, to see him as an up and comer as they associate him with his grandfather. the next four years are hard work, but he’s healing from trauma with a new passion and a great support system.

ate age 19, he’s on the podium after his third formula three race, and he wins the championship, raining champagne on his teammates and laughing. his nights are busy, filled with parties and clubs, pretty girls and people willing to give him whatever he wants. 

he awaits the next season and the rise into formula two, but he’s getting ahead of himself. late nights spent partying before the race take their toll on him, and his sister says it best. “you shouldn’t go out there,” she says. “i have to go out there. it’s fine, i’m just a little hungover. besides, it’s raining today. i have the advantage.” but he never learns.

ricky crashes hard, lucky to get off with a tbi and some broken ribs, but the drugs in his system render him a pariah and no one will really want to sponsor him after that. everyone had high hopes for him, but now he just looks like another stupid kid. he’ll never forget the disappointment in his grandfather’s eyes. 

he spends most of the year blowing previous winnings.

after all of that bullshit, his grandfather sits him down. “you’re going to apply to gallagher academy,” he says. and that’s when he tells ricky everything, about his father’s profession, just like his grandfather’s brother and father before him. the legacy, the brotherhood, blackthorne academy, and ricky’s both riveted and horrified. “that’s what my sister got shot for?” 

ricky passes the test while the brotherhood still has its claws clenched tightly around the reigns of gallagher academy somewhere. he’s a good driver, the fastest, and he might’ve been the best if he wasn’t so irrational and drunk on his own pride (among other things.) 

before he can gain the skills to stop his father himself, someone else does. the news comes on ricky’s very first day of school: “dad’s been arrested.” and it’s like his whole world stops, because he always knew his father was bad, just someone else got to him first. 

PERSONALITY.

ADVENTUROUS: ricky is not afraid of risks, and actually, this is usually in a good way. he pushes himself to want and pursue fulfilling life experiences, so while he’s made stupid decisions, he never lets fear stop him from taking chances and trying new things, so he’s pretty open-minded 

CHARISMATIC: pretty good at putting on a smile and making himself likable when he needs to be, he has a nice smile and a good-natured spirit even if he can be a bit MUCH at times ! the kind of asshole that you can’t help but like anyway, he means well 

FLEXIBLE: one of his great strengths is his ability to go with the flow, it doesn’t change him around or turn him inside out when things don’t go his way, he’s pretty adaptable and able to adjust when there’s a wrench in his plans

SELF-DESTRUCTIVE: ricky has a habit of ruining things when they’re going good for him, he’s notorious for self-sabotage and it probably comes from a mix of feeling like he’s invincible so he pushes limits and because he’s almost comfortable in the label of fuck-up at this point, not wanting to get his hopes up too high

ENTITLED: whether he likes it or not, he comes from a good family and a past where most things have just been handed to him. so, while he’s worked hard, he’s never had to work...that hard. he feels entitled to success and certain things in life and he can be a bit of a dick about it, even out of touch with other ways of life. he tends to feel like he deserves things, such as his gallagher education or another chance at racing

SELF-CENTERED: apart from his sister, ricky very much puts himself first and can be a bit selfish. it’s mostly out of self-preservation, but most of his thoughts revolve around him. he actually puts a lot of pressure on himself, which is why he turns to unhealthy coping mechanisms and doesn’t look at how his actions affect others in his life

HEADCANONS.

when it comes to his memory loss, it’s pretty manageable. he keeps up with medication and IF he gets a good night sleep/eats well...it’s good on his brain. but sometimes he’s not so great about it! his most common habits are: putting something down and forgetting where he just put it, asking you a question he’s already asked, and he’s bad with names

used to be good at fighting games but now he isn’t and he still tries and it’s sad :(

as you can guess, he’s really bad at card games but he likes to gamble so he’ll just bet on other stuff. always ready to put money on the results of a sports game or something, loves to do fantasy brackets

really likes anime movies! watches a lot, but his faves are obviously redline, akira, princess mononoke, perfect blue, and ghost in the shell. he watches anime too and tbh probably a lot of anime i’ve never seen like naruto, one piece, and cowboy bebop. for my sanity please don’t talk to much about them with him bc i won’t know what to write.

loves to skateboard and snowboard, and is pretty good at it because really the main thing is confidence and he has plenty of that! 

loves to play pranks in class or on people, he’s got a whole repertoire of tricks he used to play on his nannies growing up and has no issue with playing them on a teacher with a stick up their ass

his primary coping mechanisms are 1) hating his father 2) cocaine and 3) acting stupid 

is bisexual and honestly doesn’t give a fuck! guys, girls, whatever, sex is sex and he’s gonna like who he likes. has never come out to his parents but has never known them well enough for it to matter. 

had a steady long term girlfriend but she broke up with him when he started to tank his future and started partying more, probably as self-preservation for herself and ricky feels guilty about how he treated her, doesn’t want to put anyone else through that

really likes german cars so it’s a bummer that he missed out on the berlin trip, he’s going to geek out and cry any time someone mentions berlin to him, he’ll be so jealous of their semester

has wicked good eyesight, 20/20 vision which is great on the track but he also has really good aim on a shooting range, he’s a pretty observant person as well 

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

BROTHERHOOD CONNECTIONS. Someone who also had someone close to them (likely a family member) that was also arrested for being involved with the Brotherhood by the strike team. Both Ricky and your muse are dealing with the shock of this together. 

FAN? SOMEONE WHO FOLLOWS RACING? Someone who watched Ricky’s rise and fall from grace by being invested in F1. It would make sense if they were a big fan of Ricky’s grandfather...and Ricky is the disappointment. Idk someone with predisposed opinions on Ricky. 

PARTNER IN CRIME. The two of them just vibe like immediately they both have the same chaotic energy and encourage each other’s recklessness to take chances and do stupid shit, are probably hilarious and can’t take anything seriously when they’re in the same room together, the kind of friends that other people can’t stand to see them together.

WHOLESOME FWB. They get along really well as friends and mainly just need to scratch an itch sometimes. None of that toxic shit, they probably lay around and talk about their crushes and are actually friends.

CONFIDANT. Late night rooftop conversations, this person can get Ricky to open up, is probably someone who is really chatty and comfortable with their own emotions and they encourage Ricky to be open about his. 

INFATUATION. Ricky doesn’t know your muse at all, just sees them in the hallway and thinks they’re super hot, probably an older and unattainable student that wouldn’t give him a second glance but he’s like...this is my future spouse. They just don’t know I exist. Has never talked to them and they might not even vibe if they ever spoke lol. 

ENEMIES? They simply don’t! Get along? Hate at first sight? They see Ricky smoking a blunt on campus and think he’s stupid irresponsible? He doesn’t remember their name when he should have? He makes a stupid immature comment that rubs your muse the wrong way? Any of the above, ready to fight at any moment. 

RACING BUDDIES. Another driver’s ed student who is willing to race with him after hours or practice together, they both wanna fuck the cars, they both are super competitive and bring that out in each other. 

OLD FAMILY FRIENDS. Their parents knew one another, likely on his dad’s (Blackthorne/spy) side, and they grew up closely. After the kidnapping happened, your character’s parent stopped speaking to the Alonsos and distanced themselves. Your character is probably the only one who knows about that part of Ricky’s past in any detail. 

GOT OFF ON THE WRONG FOOT. Ricky tried to flirt with your character but actually wound up pissing them off by seeming like an entitled white boy, which he is. He’s trying to prove to your character that he’s not so bad! This connection has nothing to do with feet I just had no better ideas for a name I hate feet. 

REALLY BAD SEX. your muse has ricky saved in their phone like [link]...prob a hookup that happens on one of the first days after he heard about his dad but...he’s fucked up and sad and he can’t get it up! It’s literally so embarrassing, maybe they’re both embarrassed, he wants to die when he sees ur muse around bc they saw his limp ass sad boy dick.

CAT AND MOUSE TYPE THING. essentially ricky has a bunch of attempts to flirt with your muse & your muse fucking hates it. Tom and jerry but like, if tom wanted to fuck jerry. I think of this gifset. 

[primeemeraldheiress]

Jason Comfort Recs

Given what apparently has happened in the most recent Titans episode I thought this might be appropriate. These are the fics I read when I wanna laugh or “aw” or feel like someone really cares about Jay. I give you my best, short-ish, Jason Comfort Recs.

When the Lights are Dimmed by Cdelphiki

After Bruce woke up with a bad concussion, the result of a terrible night out on patrol, he found Jason sitting next to him. His 12-year-old son was about to learn about how emotional Bruce could be while concussed.

Show Me Your Fears - PurpleArrowzandLeather

Scarecrow is too curious for his own good, so he doses the Arkham Knight with fear toxin to see who's really under the mask. What he gets instead is not pleasant.

A Father’s Love - Mayarene Rose (Paradise_of_Mary_Jane)

Jason has a habit of stealing the Batmobile's tires. It's tradition.

Where Mourning Ends - Cdelphiki

What if Bruce acted like an actual parent when Jason first revealed himself after his return to Gotham? Instead of deciding that 'this changes nothing' and declaring Red Hood as his enemy? How would he act if he were responding like a parent who has been mourning the death of a child as severely as canon depicted him mourning Jason's death?

Homeward Bound, Safe and Sound - WorkingChemistry

The baby was swimming in blood and Jason’s instincts are screaming.

Servants come to clear the dead nursemaid away, but they are harmless compared to the alpha currently cradling his pup. Jason doesn’t—can’t remember much. He doesn’t know who the mother, Talia’s mate, is. Jason doesn’t know much of anything besides what he’s been told since he burst through the oily slick surface of the Lazarus pit.

Cruelty Wins in the Movies - TylerM

“Go, away,” Jason pants out, not looking up but he knows its Dick entering, like he owns the place, or Jason won’t shoot him on sight. “Little wing?” Dick asks again, apparently ignoring him. Jason groans in frustration and pulls out one of the guns on his belt, pointing it at Dick. It’s a weak attempt and they both know he won’t shoot, but god does he want to sometimes. He wants to be left alone. “Said, go away,” Jason grits angrily, he’s having trouble breathing now, this isn’t good. Dick eyes the gun slightly, but his expression is too relaxed for someone with a gun pointed to his head. Jason groans and throws it to the ground frustrated. Stupid Dickhead doesn’t think Jason won’t shoot him.

He might.

He probably won’t, but he might.

On Ten, On Ten, I'm back in - nxttime

The Justice League is full of assholes with one or two sane members. The Titans are saints and we love them. The Batfam are ruthless and we don't mess with them.

Chronic Hug Deficiency - shauds

Stephanie's a pretty tactile person, comes from having less than tactile parents for the most part. She's decided that a certain ex-Robin could use some tactileness in his life, and she could use a certain ex-Robin in hers. See, it works out great, depending on who's side you're looking at it from.

my mother loved (my mother failed) - rredhoods

It started on a normal day, between the meeting of a bird and an Amazon. It carried onto a grassy plain overlooking a glorious waterfall, a safe haven for secrets. It ended on a cold and dreary day, in a burning blaze and broken skin. But it restarted with a hoarse whisper of "Mom?" on the grimy streets of Gotham.

Or the YJ!AU where Jason and Diana have an unbreakable bond, and in the end having two superheroes as parents did nothing to save Jason Todd.

A couple of moderate humor for good measure:

With Our Friends (In This Circle We Form) -RhiannonOfTheRoses

“Everyone can see that that kid's got League training,” Oswald said, shaking his head. “Seriously where did you find him? Hell itself?” He leans forward. “Did the Joker give him to you?”

“A demon left him on the doorstep one day, because hell couldn't handle him,” Red Robin said dryly.

OR: The one in which the Rouges start a Stitch 'n' Bitch, and then the Batkids invade it.

Relax, I'm From Gotham - commanderquill

“You know, just out of curiousity,” Red Robin begins, and Jason twists curiously to face him, “are you from Gotham?”

“What gave it away?” Jason drawls as fire sirens start up in the distance. “My anger issues, or my apathy in the face of the new supervillain flavor of the week?”

(Or: That time Jason moves to New York and becomes a meme.)

Pilot Light - Cerusee

Jason and Jim have a chat about tires.

EDIT - FOUND TWO TITANS SPECIFIC ONES:

Instinct - the_authors_exploits

your little brother never tells you but he loves you so

Comfort - Drug_farm_entrepreneur

Jason is a bit shaken up after being yeeted of a building, and finds unlikely comfort in a certain other bird-brained superhero.

[writethelifeyouwant]

You Got Iced- Chapter 2

Pairing: Jared x Reader x Jensen

Rating: T, for language (future chapters will be explicit)

Summary: Inspired in part by the challenge prompt and in part by this conventionhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAHS_RJ5Gac (which is fucking hilarious, go enjoy yourselves there). The reader is attending a Supernatural convention during a heat wave and gets her money’s worth out of her ticket that’s for sure.

Word Count: 3773

Warnings: None for this chapter

A/N: Written for @babypieandwhiskey ‘s Hot as Hell challenge. If anyone else wants to be tagged in the rest of the chapters shoot me an ask! I’ll be posting them over the next couple weeks as I finish them. I’m in the process of moving to a different country so it’s taking me a little longer to write than I’d hoped :) 

Smirnoff Ice finally consumed, Jared and Jensen each reached out a hand to pull you up from your knees. Jensen’s eyes were almost glowing with a kind of subdued excitement that you couldn’t conceive of a reason for. He clapped your shoulder in a ‘job well done’ fashion and then exchanged a glance with Jared while you were straightening your clothes and weren’t looking at them. Jared had the same excitement burning behind his eyes, and gave Jensen a firm nod. 

“What do you say we get you a real drink to wash that crap down?” Jensen asked firmly, like it was more of an instruction than an offer. 

“What?” You spluttered, not understanding what on earth was going on. You looked between him and Jared, hoping one of them would offer up some kind of explanation. Neither did.

“Yeah,” Jared cut in, “we have a cooler of stuff in the green room back there. Come sit down for a bit.” Jared hovered his arm behind your back, as if to wrap it around your waist, but he didn’t touch. In an almost dream-like state you let them guide you towards the direction of their green room, calling a hurried goodbye and thank-you to Rob, Rich, and the band who were being left behind you. 

Upon reaching the green room, which was just a small conference room with two couches in one corner, and a cooler set up on a meeting table, surrounded by other snacks, Jensen bounded to the cooler while Jared continued to guide you to a seat in the corner of the couch. 

“What do you want to drink Y/N?” Jensen called over his shoulder. “We’ve got beer, there’s some wine in a can… I think this is whiskey…” he rifled through the assortment of bottles crammed together. 

“Um, I’m not picky, whatever you guys are having is fine,” your voice almost came out as a squeak because Jared had just lounged himself next to you, taking up the remainder of the couch with his giant giraffe legs. And those giant giraffe legs were now centimeters from your own bare legs, that you had tucked up underneath you in your little corner of the couch. 

“And if he gives you a beer, you won’t make a face?” Jared poked at you with his knee. 

“I resent that implication,” you looked faux-shocked for a moment, making your eyes round and wide, but breaking into a quick smile that crinkled your whole face up like tissue paper. Jensen handed you and Jared each a bottle and thunked himself in the corner of the next couch, the arm he set on the endrest brushing dangerously close to yours. “So, I have to ask, are you in the habit of bringing random strangers back to have a drink with?” 

“We do every now and then,” Jared nodded sagely, as if this was a perfectly understandable and reasonable occurrence, and not your wildest dream come true. 

“Not to sound ungrateful but, why?” You pushed, taking a sip of your beer to cover up your embarrassment. 

“Your question,” Jensen grinned. “I know it wasn’t anything profound but we’ve been doing these things for more than a decade and no one has ever asked us that one before.” 

“We thought the ingenuity should be congratulated,” Jared chimed in. 

“Oh,” you let that bit of information sink in. “Cool.” You took another drink to give your face something to do other than blush with anxiety. 

“Are you a little nervous?” Jared asked kindly, no trace of his earlier teasing left. You nodded, blushing deeper. 

“Don’t be,” Jensen reached forward and patted your forearm bracingly. “Have some more beer, let yourself relax.” You quickly followed his instruction, grateful for the excuse to ingest the liquid courage much more quickly than you had been. Jensen smiled at you, satisfied with your response. 

“So, Y/N, have you come to any conventions before?” Jared asked, drawing your attention back to him. You shook your head. 

“No, this was my first one. I had to live vicariously through the internet, before.” A nervous laugh escaped you as you realised what a fangirl you sounded like. Jared seemed to know exactly what you were thinking. 

“Hey, don’t be embarrassed about watching cons on youtube. You love the show, that’s why you’re here.” Jared’s smile was reassuring and sweet. “We’re fans of the show too, that’s why we do all this stuff. We like being able to share this with people, we like seeing people excited.” 

“It’s incredibly vain really, but someone has to feed his ego. My love isn’t enough anymore,” Jensen mocked, feigning hurt. 

“Hey!” Jared gasped. You and Jensen laughed and you followed his example, taking a further draught from your bottle. 

“Were you planning on going to the concert tonight?” Jensen asked. 

“Oh yeah,” you nodded, much more comfortable discussing your love of music than your love of the two men sitting next to you right now. “I’m probably just as excited for tonight as I was for your panel.” 

“Yeah they put on a good show,” Jensen agreed. “I think Jason’s coming tonight too actually, he texted me earlier he thinks he’ll make it in time.” 

“Sweet, he owes me twenty bucks,” Jared made a small victory fist. The conversation moved around that night’s show, and music more generally, while the three of you made it through your first bottles. Favourite songs were listed, first concerts were recounted, funny memories regaled with smiles. By the end of your bottle you felt more at ease with yourself, letting your body unfold from the slightly defensive position you had been perched in, in the corner of your couch. 

Jared moved to get the next round, dragging a chair behind him on his way back, holding all three beers in his other mammoth hand. You grabbed the bottle he offered you, and your fingers brushed his when he passed it over, sending a burn through your skin that was made all the more jarring by the cold condensation running over the back of your hand. You blushed and glanced down quickly, but then realised how incriminating that looked, and so shifted your eyes back to Jared, pretending there was no reason for you to have broken eye contact. You noticed that Jared’s eyes flicked down to his fingers, and then to yours, for just a moment, before he shook the expression of contemplation from his face so quickly you thought you might have invented it. 

“Is there any particular reason you sit like that?” You had asked the question before you gave yourself a chance to check if you would sound stupid or not, nodding to how Jared had sat with his chair facing backwards, like he had earlier on stage. 

“No,” Jared shook his head, not giving any indication that he thought you were weird or stupid for asking, and you relaxed again. “I used to get in trouble for sitting like this in school, so I think I do it a load now because no one can tell me not to,” he laughed. 

“I just noticed Sam sits that way a lot,” you explained. “I guess I wondered if it was something you did because of Sam of if it was the other way around.” 

“Yeah, no that’s me,” Jared laughed. “We definitely bleed into Sam and Dean more than we realise sometimes. I never even noticed that one before.” 

“Just don’t start overthinking it every time Sam sits down from now on,” Jensen laughed. 

“I won’t be thinking any harder than you. You still have to concentrate on not sitting on Misha’s lap every take.” You actually choked on your drink a little. Jensen leaned forward and thumped you on the back. 

“Jesus Jared, don’t kill her.” You gave Jensen a small thumbs up to indicate you were fine while you continued trying to catch your breath. “He was joking, by the way,” Jensen looked at you seriously, urging you not to misinterpret the situation. “Misha sits on my lap.” 

You narrowly avoided choking on your drink a second time as you burst out laughing. “I am genuinely amazed people get any work done around you two.” 

“Us too, believe me,” Jensen laughed easily. 

“What do you do for work, Y/N?” Jared asked with genuine curiosity, taking another swig of beer. 

“Oh, I don’t right now, I’m in college. That’s why I could come to the convention at all, you guys never came near my hometown, but my college was actually close enough to manage it.” 

“What’s your major?” Jared pressed for more information. You couldn’t fathom the attentive interest shining from his face. 

“I, haven’t actually declared one yet,” you admitted. “I’m chronically indecisive.” 

“Yeah you really must be if you still don’t have a major this late in the game. I didn’t think they let you past junior year without picking one,” Jared bemused. 

“Dude,” Jensen looked at Jared in something between exasperation and abject horror, “I think she might not be as old as we thought she was.” Jensen dragged his beer free hand across his face, pushing his fingers into his eye sockets in a pretty good imitation of Dean’s ‘frustration and despair’ face.  

“Um, I’m a sophomore…” you interjected sheepishly, ashamed that you had been found out. You had admonished yourself in the back of your mind when you had first been tossed the Smirnoff Ice. It was stupid to drink illegally in front of a load of celebrities. Not that you hadn’t drunk plenty before but it was just usually at parties filled with loads of other underage students. Here, you were alone. 

“You’re a sophomore?” Jared asked slowly, cautiously. You nodded, grimacing at your own idiocy. “Which means you’re only…” Jared left his question hanging. 

“Nineteen,” you admitted, curling back into yourself, getting ready for the outburst that must be close to the surface. 

“Jesus Christ,” Jensen’s voice sounded like a hiss, but it was underpinned by something deep, something hungry. 

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, mortified. The bottle in your hand suddenly felt like it weighed as much as your school bookbag, and you hurriedly looked for a place to set it, settling on the floor. “I should probably go…” You scrambled off the couch, tears blooming behind your lashes as you looked around for your bag and avoided looking anywhere near Jared or Jensen. 

“Sit your ass back down,” Jensen barked without looking up from the hand still plastered over his face. Stunned, you sat back down immediately, now risking a glance at Jensen. 

“You’re not in trouble,” Jared piped up, drawing your gaze. 

“Yeah but we so are,” Jensen groaned, finally pulling his head away from his hand to look at Jared with eyes that seemed to convey a message only Jared was meant to understand. 

“Yeah, no kidding,” Jared agreed, downing the rest of his drink and swinging off his chair to grab another. Jensen followed suit and drained the last of his beer, accepting a new drink from Jared, a glass of whiskey this time. 

“I’m so sorry,” you said again, forcing the words past the catch in your throat. “This was really stupid of me, I should have said something when you offered me a drink-” Your apology rant was interupted by Jared’s bark of laughter as he sat himself back on the couch next to you, considerably closer than he had been previously. 

“Y/N, we’re not mad at you,” Jared leant forward, bracing his forearms on his thighs, and swirling his drink thoughtfully. “And we’re not worried about giving drinks to someone underage.” That bit of information shocked you out of your panic a little bit. You had figured that was the reason your age had disconcerted them, why else would it? 

“You’re not concerned that I essentially just tricked you both into breaking the law?”

“Y/N, come on,” Jensen scoffed, but good naturedly. “How many times do you think we got wasted before we were 21? It’s what kids do.” He gave you a half smile that only barely covered the grimace in his eyes.

“Well, I’m still sorry I lied,” you said. “I never wanted to get you in trouble.” 

“The beer is not what’s gonna get us into trouble,” Jensen’s smile fought harder this time, and you could see it beat out whatever it was inside him that was making him so uncomfortable. This was the sign Jared had been waiting for, his permission from Jensen to keep going with what they had planned before your age had derailed them a moment. “It’s more the fact that we’re really feeling like old pervs right now.” A twinkle of mischief made its way back to his eyes as he gave Jared a wry smile. 

“Why…” You were entirely confused by Jensen’s comment. No matter how hard your brain tried it could not identify the connection between your previous conversation and why Jensen was now calling himself and Jared ‘old pervs’. Or why he was calling himself that at all. 

“Y/N,” Jared said your name cautiously, savouring its syllables on his tongue as he slowly reached a hand over to your knee. “We didn’t just bring you back here because of your question.”

Jared’s fingers might as well have had live wires hooked up to them considering how far the shock radiated through your body when he touched you. They drew your eyes like magnets, and it took immense effort to look back up at Jared and over to Jensen, who had moved as close to you as his couch would allow him. Jensen reached forward and took your hand, squeezing it comfortingly in his bigger one. 

“I’m going to say this very seriously right now, I need you to believe us one hundred percent,” Jensen looked earnestly between you and Jared. “If you don’t want this, that is okay. We are not expecting anything from you, you do not have to do anything, you are more than free to tell us to shove it up our asses and leave you the hell alone.” 

You still had not said a word, frozen in astonishment between Jared and Jensen, who each had a hand on you. That was probably the only reason you hadn’t jumped up from your spot on the couch by now. Grasping for words you settled on Jensen, breathing deeply before you plunged into the deep pool they were pulling you into. 

“Okay, I’m gonna need you to be incredibly clear about what you’re talking about, and then I’m gonna search this room for hidden cameras and the signal for Rich and Rob burst in with the ‘gotcha’ crew.” Jared and Jensen laughed brightly, and Jared patted your knee reassuringly.

“We’re not pranking you, sweetheart.” Jensen’s voice had dropped closer to Dean’s, found some gravel in his throat to drag over. 

“What we’re asking, is if you’d be interested in having a little more fun with us... somewhere a little more private.”Jared’s mouth curled into a wicked smile, and he pulled your arm towards him, pressing a kiss to the inside of your wrist, and pressing his glass of whiskey into your hand. You looked down at your hand questioningly. “You look like you could use that,” Jared nodded to the whiskey. You swallowed hard, then raised the glass to your lips and drained it in three burning gulps. 

“Good girl,” Jared whispered under his breath, more to himself than to anyone else in the room, focusing on the movement of your throat as you downed the liquor. You heard him though. 

Your eyes flicked to his, wide and nervous, but also incredibly turned on. You shook your head to clear it from the warm haze the whiskey had settled in your cheeks to speak the other big concern on your mind. 

“You’re married,” you stated emphatically. “You’re both married. You talk about how much you love your families all the time! I can’t- I couldn’t…” 

“Yes!” Jensen did a small fist bump with his whispered acclamation. 

“What?” You were so beyond confused at this point it was ridiculous. 

“That was the last test,” Jensen admitted. “If you didn’t say anything about being concerned for our moral and our families we’d have to back out.” 

“That one is Gen and Dany’s rule,” Jared clarified. 

“Wait, they sanction this?” You took a second to evaluate if you thought they were lying then lit on another part of what Jensen had said. “What do you mean ‘last test’, there were tests?” 

“Yeah if Jared picks someone out then we usually ease into it to see if whoever it is seems like they would be into what we want. We weren’t lying to you before, your question was awesome, that was one of the reasons Jared wanted to throw a test at you to check.” 

“And I passed this test?” 

“With flying colours sweetheart,” Jensen grinned. 

“What was it?”

“The Smirnoff Ice,” Jared laughed. “We iced you to see if you would play along with our bullshit or if you would wind up backing out, that’s why I made sure I told you you didn’t have to drink it, you had an out if you wanted it.” 

“But what sealed it was how you dropped to your knees like that,” Jensen cut in, his gaze claiming yours and holding you there. “That’s what we’re looking for in this. Someone who’s up for being a submissive for us.” 

“And we know that’s kind of out there for most people so if that freaks you out or it’s not your thing that’s totally okay,” Jared rushed to cut in, once again making sure you had an out if you wanted it. You were pretty sure you didn’t want one but there was still a crucial hang up that they hadn’t actually answered yet. 

“Okay but, I’m still confused. Genevieve and Daneel are just cool with you guys picking up random girls for one night scenes?” You cringed internally, hoping you were using that word correctly, this wasn’t exactly territory you had experience in, outside of the internet. 

“Yeah they are,” they boys nodded. “And since you seem genuinely concerned that we’re stepping out on them, we have… where’s your phone Jared?” Jensen popped up off his couch and went to grab Jared’s phone off the table holding the cooler, where he had left it earlier, refreshing his whiskey while he was there. 

“Here,” Jared offered you his phone after he pulled something up on its screen. Jensen didn’t settle back on his couch but perched himself on the arm of yours, resting a hand on your shoulder as you pushed the solitary play icon on the black screen. 

“Hi!” Two chipper voices rang out in unison and the screen filled with an image of Jared and Jensen’s wives, sat at what looked like Jensen’s kitchen counter (it wasn’t creepy that you knew that, you told yourself, he’s the one who did the AD interview). 

“We hope you’ve been having a good day and the boys haven’t been giving you too hard a time!” Gen said. 

“We know what a pain they can be,” Daneel mock whispered before taking a sip of wine. “So, yay you, if you’re seeing this then they obviously think you’re something pretty special. You don’t have to feel bad, this is all totally okay with us-”

“Yup, everything is totally in the open, they’re not trying to trick you or us,” Gen assured you through the phone screen. 

“This doesn’t mean we don’t love each other either, so don’t worry about any of that.” Daneel’s smile was incredibly sincere and you let out a breath you hadn’t realised you’d been holding. “The thing is, me and Gen, we’ve all talked about this but neither of us is the threesome type.”

“And that was the one thing the guys wanted that we really weren’t up for,” Gen put in. “So we came up with this deal for them, they can have fun with a few people out on the road for conventions and stuff if they make sure to be careful, not pick up a lunatic, and always always make sure that whoever they pick up is gonna keep this to themselves.”

“For obvious reasons,” Daneel laughed. “So, if they’re letting you in on this little secret you’ve passed all the tests!”

“So stop worrying, and go have fun, sweetie,” Gen grinned. 

“Bye!” They waved in unison and the screen went black. 

“Any questions?” Jared asked gently. 

“I mean, in general, a million,” you laughed. “But I guess the big question would be how do you want this to work? Like, what exactly do you want from me?” 

“So you’re saying yes?” Jensen asked. 

“I think I am, yeah. But, seriously, what do you want?”

“Are you comfortable having a threesome?” Jared asked, in a manner that would have been appropriate if he was asking what pizza toppings you preferred. Your heart basically stopped at the image that produced in your head. Your body between theirs, their hands on your skin...

“Yes,” you nod. 

“Are you comfortable being submissive to us?” Jensen asked. 

“Yes… sir?” You threw the title out there on a whim, wondering if that was Jensen’s style. 

“You’ve never done this kind of thing before, have you?” Jensen grinned. 

“Which part? The threesome or the dom/sub stuff?” 

“Well I’m assuming, neither, based on your answers” Jared chuckled, and brushed the backs of his fingers up your thigh. 

“Yeah I- I haven’t,” you blushed and cleared your throat. “I haven’t done any of this before.” 

“That’s okay,” Jared’s voice was pitched barely above a whisper. “We kind of like that,” his eyes glinted, darting up to Jensen in a brief look of victory. 

“You know how to pick ‘em, Jared,” Jensen smiled, brushing your hair back over your shoulder and leaning down to touch his lips to the skin he uncovered. 

“This is really happening?” You breathed. 

“That finally our yes?” Jared asked, lips ghosting over the shell of your ear, pulling a shiver from your spine. 

“There’s one more thing I should tell you,” you yanked yourself back into your head, steadying yourself with a final breath before you chance smashing the glass on this illusion. Jared and Jensen backed off slightly to give you space. “When I said I’d never done anything like this I meant it.” You gave them a moment to absorb that but saw they hadn’t quite made the connection. “Like, anything,” you emphasised.

You saw their understanding slam into place.

Tags: @babypieandwhiskey @samsgirl93

[corvid-lullaby]

TLDR: I RP Nishiki both from 0, K1, and past that for AUs. I RP him canonically but I primarily base him off of a fanfic (SecT) I’m working on, of which he lives and where the events of K1 causes him to have what is outwardly believed to be Dissociative Personality Disorder (AKA Multiple Personalities.) One is of his former 0 self (Referred to as Nishiki) and the other is his K1 self (Referred to as Shikiya (Derived from Nishikiyama)).

However, Shiki isn’t just another facet to Nishiki, but ends up being a fully realized entity with his own thought process, opinions, etc. He even converses with Nishiki and interacts with him within the mind. Typically cold and standoffish, but how foul he can be highly depends on ‘when’ a post takes place. He’s at his worst during the events of K1, less terrible but nervous and beginning to be understanding post K1, and eventually very protective in a tsundere sense as the two continue to recover. Since the beginning, he has been in love with Nishiki, but it started out in an extremely toxic way. This has also improved over time.

For threads, I very much prefer it if you tell me your preference on what version of Nishiki you’d like. Be it 0’s, K1’s, my split personality SecT version, or something else. I’m very flexible and willing to cater towards your preferences.

To make things easier, the two will sometimes be colour coded. Generally, purple is for Nishiki, red is for Shiki, and pink/maroon is for both.

This Bio will cater towards my fanfic/AU Sect, and will have hints of FFXIV in it.

Nishiki (Akira, Koi)

Shikiya (Shiki, Crow)

Basics

Represented with purple

Birthday: October 8

Species: Human/Hyur

Race: Japanese/Doman

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Pansexual, switch

Romantic Status: Polyamorous

Scent: Sweet potpourri with hints of something kin to rain as well as a higher quality cigarette scent.

Personality: Typically energetic, easy going, and friendly. He can become bubbly and peppy around friends or if it fits the situation’s mood. Flamboyant to no end, yet sensitive. Beware for he is completely capable of embarrassing himself or a friend for the sake of being a complete dork. He also enjoys teasing Shikiya from to to time. May or may not be easy to cry.

Represented with red

Age: ? (5 ½ If you want to age him by years he has ‘existed’)Birthday: Unknown. Sometime in the fall.

Species: None/Unknown

Gender: None due to only being a mental entity, but prefers 'him, ect.’ To him, gender is nothing more than an aesthetic.

Sexuality: Pansexual, dominant

Romantic Status: Polyamorous

Scent: General floral with a note of mint and occasionally a nice higher quality cigarette scent.

Personality: Relatively cold and quiet. He’s very poor at regular conversation where awkward silences can be common. Awkward for you, not him. He couldn’t care otherwise. On the other hand, he’s very adept at being a leader and in battle. It’s these times where he shines the most. If a fight gets violent enough, it could bring out his bloodthirsty side where he loses himself in the enjoyment of a difficult kill.

He hasn’t been 'alive’ for very long. Only 5 ½ to 6 years. This can sometimes show through by ways of his random curiosity on even the most mundane of subjects, as well as being extremely gullible on anything he knows little to nothing about. This isn’t to be confused with being stupid, which he very much isn’t. Although his lack of personal experience can cause him to come off a bit innocent at times.

Yes, he can use Nishiki’s mind and memories as a filing cabinet for knowledge, but he has to seek and learn it himself. He doesn’t automatically know everything Nishiki does. On top of that there are things in life where experiencing it for yourself is entirely different from simply knowing and understanding it.

As with being a 6 year old in an adult body, he can be quite the greedy little brat and be completely ignorant to a lot of stuff around him. Such as the feelings of others.

Physical

Voice: Commonly chipper and energetic. His vocal range for normal speaking can be highly varied and playful due to his flamboyant nature. Vocal example.

Height: 5'11

Build: Swimmer’s but not overly built, and an extra emphasis on the stomach due to high mono fin usage.

Common Clothing: He can typically be found in a clean maroon suit with a black silk undershirt swimming with loud golden print. He enjoys dressing up so he can be found in other clothing. There’s also a high enjoyment in traditional Japanese wear, but he usually only wears this either privately at home or on special occasions.

Distinguishing Attributes: Koi irezumi (tattoo) on the back. Burn scars on the front and side of the right half of his stomach. Since Shikiya came to be, he began exhibiting a faint amber glow to his irises under dimmer lighting. This only shows if Shikiya is currently aware and present to the current situation, regardless if he’s the one speaking/in control or not. He also has a belly button piercing.

Weapons: Carries a gun but prefers hand to hand.

Fighting Styles: Does well with a gun and close range weaponless combat, although not as good as Shikiya. Preferably he’d rather fight with his fists. While his sworn brother, Kiryu, is extremely strong, Nishiki tends to be quicker and more light footed than he, but not nearly as strong. Even though Shikiya is skilled with the sword, Nishiki is a complete klutz with it. He’s far more likely to stab his own foot. Still, he does enjoy Iaido at home… even if he’s bad at that too.

Voice: Still Nishiki’s natural voice physically but sounds notably lower, calmer, and cold. Within Nishiki’s mind, it can sound severely or slightly altered in various ways. Be it higher, lower, masculinized, or feminized, or some inhuman alteration. At times it even sounds like he has multiple vocals going at once. An example can be found here at 3:40. Warning: the end of the video has implied suicide. Again this is not his physical voice that everyone else hears, but how Nishiki perceives his voice in his mind sometimes.

Common Clothing: Often professionally dressed. Usually in mostly white with black accents. Occasionally can be found in all black (even the tabi) traditional Japanese/Doman clothing which could include a hakkuma, waraji, and ornamental fabric around the neck.

Distinguishing Attributes: Outwardly it still is Nishiki’s body, but with minor differences due to Shikiya being an entirely different entity. There is a faint amber glow to the irises that is visible under dimmer lighting. He often looks either irritated or melancholy in comparison. Also has a smooth and calculated gait. He hates having his hair in his face, so it’s often put back in some way.

Weapons: Besides a gun, can sometimes be found with a katana.

Fighting Styles: He’s far more skilled at the gun and close range weaponless fighting than Nishiki. He’s also skilled with the katana, primarily with Iaijutsu. He is also fond of Iaido, but this is used more for self balancing and self discipline training rather than fighting.

Personal

Professions: Cabaret Host, mermaider, and aquatic caretaker at a cabaret, hitman, mercenary, former yakuza patriarch (still helps advising and running his Family although no longer officially a part of it)

Disabilities: PTSD (Fiercely covers this up), “dissociative personality disorder”, schizophrenia, chronic klutz

Hobbies: Aquatic biology, eating, swimming, still eating, various arts and crafts, also never stops eating. No, we don’t know where it goes.

Fears: Abandonment, sedatephobia (Fear of silence), autophobia (Fear of being alone, although Shiki’s presence cures this, for better or for worse)

Quirks: Says “koi” in playful situations with various meanings depending on context. For example, hell say “Koi koi!” while giving someone an overly loving hug. In this case he could mean ‘love love.’ Another would be him saying this while beckoning someone with a finger. In this case it could be ‘come come.’

Habits: Flirtatious at times without realizing it. Sometimes he’ll go into a severely reclusive state when his mind starts going into darker places. If it gets bad enough, he can fall into varying states of psychosis.

Professions: Hitman, mercenary. Although Nishiki has officially retired from being a Patriarch and is no longer a part of the Nishikiyama Family, the Family still respects him as if he is still the Patriarch. The higher positioned people know of Nishiki’s split personality and especially treats Shikiya with respect. Shikiya still occasionally returns to the Family office when needed or to take up stray jobs.

Disabilities: None

Hobbies: Yakuza odds and ends, Chess, Iaido

Fears: Ceasing to exist, disappearing, being locked away mentally

Quirks: Finds having longer nails being more comfortable

Habits: Rubs the back of his neck when sleepy and/or when overly comfortable, seems to have poor restraint or realization on impulses (ie can drag his nails too roughly to the point of being painful when he means to simply pet, or fingers can give gestures of wanting to wrap around a neck to strangle but is obviously restraining himself)

Traits

*Bold is typically. Italics is situational.*

Extroverted / In Between / Introverted

Disorganized / In Between / Organized

Close Minded / In Between / Open-Minded

Calm / In Between / Anxious

Laid-back / In Between / Hyperactive

Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable

Cautious / In Between / Reckless

Patient / In Between / Impatient

Outspoken / In Between / Reserved

Leader / In Between / Follower

Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic

Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic

Traditional/ In Between / Modern

Hard-working / In Between / Lazy

Cultured / In Between / Uncultured

Loyal / In Between / Disloyal

Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful

*Bold is typically. Italics is situational.*

Extroverted / In Between / Introverted

Disorganized / In Between / Organized

Close Minded / In Between / Open-Minded

Calm / In Between / Anxious

Laid-back / In Between / Hyperactive

Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable

Cautious / In Between / Reckless

Patient / In Between / Impatient

Outspoken / In Between / Reserved

Leader / In Between / Follower

Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic

Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic

Traditional / In Between / Modern

Hard-working / In Between / Lazy

Cultured / In Between / Uncultured

Loyal / In Between / Disloyal

Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful

Background Summary

**Contains major Yakuza spoilers for 0 and 1/K1** **Based on AU Fanfic SecT**

Can be found here.

RP Hooks

Dirty Jobs: Given that Shikiya highly enjoys challenges, fighting, the thrill of the kill, and because Nishiki retired from a position that fulfilled those cravings, he’s pretty willing to take on the more dangerous tasks. He has a lot of skills and experience under his belt due to being an ex-Patriarch to his own Family. He also has a lot of resources with that Family since they still highly respect him. Sometimes Nishiki can be found doing this too, but it’s typically due to Shikiya picking up a job and dumping the job on him. It’s usually out of a negative sort of amusement.

Subordinates/Nishikiyama Family: Both Nishiki and Shikiya offer hirings into their Yakuza Family. The Family is ultimately very strict and harsh, especially towards newcomers with their heads in their asses, but actually have a tight bond with one another. It’s easy to tell when their strict and harsh behavior is out of care or not. For Shikiya in particular, he does look for those that would qualify as good right hand members for himself. Needless to say, anyone attempting this sort of position will be put through the ringer, as Shikiya is anything but soft and kind.

Cabaret Host: Nishiki’s primary job is both a host and for aquatic maintenance at an aquatic/mermaid themed mixed gender cabaret club. The club itself does traditional hosts/hostesses but also has a section for their mermaiding. Just as Shikiya gets a kick out of sometimes dumping his jobs onto Nishiki, Nishiki also does the same by 'shoving’ Shikiya out sometimes while working, although rarely. He sometimes goes on paid dates with trusted customers, but will absolutely refuse going down any sexual routes.

General Buddy: Nishiki is pretty friendly and energetic, but is also the type to easily get lonely. He’s always willing to hang out for the sake of hanging out. This includes anything simple, such as going out for a drink or karaoke. Shikiya, on the other hand, is too cold and awkward for this sort of thing. He’s better suited as a companion on the field of battle.

Aquatic Biologist: It isn’t a profession of his, but rather a hobby gone out of control. He knows more about freshwater over marine, but he’s always willing to offer advice or help in regards to this.

[pisati]

had another therapy appointment tonight and I knew I was going to cry over something stupid

it’s honestly embarrassing talking about shit that I know I can talk about openly and suddenly I’m tearing up like it’s super painful for me

involuntary embarrassing reactions aside I have a good bit to think on for the next week

primarily that I likely do have exceedingly high expectations of myself, and while that may have been started by other people having high expectations of me, it’s really impacted my mental state bc I do feel like I’ve failed in many ways despite knowing I’ve been very successful overall

I take things way too hard and I’m way harder on myself than I should be. I know that my fuck-ups at work were brought to my attention so I could be aware and could fix them. that’s it. I wasn’t being reprimanded, I wasn’t being put on probation; if it were something that serious they would’ve said so. it was something to take seriously, of course, but it wasn’t that serious. and here I am literally getting chest pains stressing about watching myself like a hawk all day at work so I don’t fuck up again bc I’m scared it’ll keep happening and some ind of reprimanding will happen. I don’t think I catastrophize but I do worry a lot, and probably a lot more than I’m aware of.

it’s possible that my depression is more impactful than I thought. I guess we’ll be getting more into that next week but despite being high-functioning my therapist thinks it’s impacting my physical health. I know it’s not helping, but I don’t think it’s impacting me that much. I don’t know. 

I know a lot of my past is going to start coming up and I’m going to have to unpack a lot of the shit that’s been a strain on my relationship with my mom. I’m not looking forward to being told I should probably talk to my mom about it. I don’t want to. but the way she’s been towards me my whole life... that’s probably why I have such ridiculous expectations of myself. her punishing me and blowing up on me disproportionately for the stupidest shit when I was younger is probably why I’m always bracing for the worst over tiny fuck ups and taking it all out on myself. her taking out her stress on me when I was younger and invading my privacy and being so flip-floppy was so confusing and stressful and I just feel like I can’t be close to her. there’s so much I don’t feel like I can trust her with and it’s hard for me to feel like I can’t even have that maternal support in my life. I’m going to start crying talking about this shit too.

I was trying to explain how I felt like I could have done better in school. like I generally knew what I was doing, but I felt like my abilities were cut short by my own brain function. I know I could have done better if my brain could’ve just gotten its shit together. but it’s so hard to explain that. everyone thinks they can do better. she asked if it was possible that that was the best I could do, and I just... I really don’t think so. but I have to wonder. what if it was? what if I just can’t deal with the idea that I’m not smart enough and I’m just not cut out for academia? I tried to explain that I did do a PhD course at the start of my 3rd year in my major, and I did a lot more advanced shit than anyone else in my year; I did way more than I even thought I would, what with research and scholarships and whatever else I did. I did a lot, and don’t get me wrong, I’m proud of myself. but I just couldn’t meet my own expectations. I didn’t think they were that far out of reach. I really do feel like I could have gotten things better if my brain would just fucking work. but was that my limit?  maybe I was a little jealous of the people in my year that couldn’t come up with good answers in class graduating summa cum laude when I got one C in semantics and that seriously impacted my GPA. I thought I wanted to go to grad school, and actually what had me crying this time was telling my therapist that I’m seeing people in my department going on to do really cool things and going to grad school and being celebrated by the department and I feel like that could’ve been me too. I don’t like the idea that maybe I really wasn’t good enough. who would? but am I trying to deflect blame by saying I could’ve done better if it weren’t for my health? or was I actually limited by my health? I keep trying to emphasize that I’m not saying I can’t do things because I’m trying to limit myself. it’s that I know my limits and graduate school right now is just beyond that. I got a taste of what that entails and I know I can’t do it right now, and I’m scared I won’t ever be able to. it’s so hard to explain how it feels beyond “trying to get my brain together”. it felt like it took so much effort to read even simple experimental papers for class; to make the words make sense together and make the sentences form a context and extract understanding from there. “but is it possible those papers were just difficult?” I mean, yeah. it is possible. but I really do feel like I could have gotten it. I don’t think it would’ve been beyond me if I didn’t get exhausted after reading a few sentences. it’s so hard to explain brain fog and slowed cognitive function to someone who’s probably never dealt with it. I was told this therapist had experience with chronic illness, but it’s almost starting to feel like she doesn’t really believe me either. 

we also went over my eating and sleeping habits. like I have many, many times with many other people. I can explain to hell and back how it doesn’t matter how much sleep I get, I’m always exhausted. my diet isn’t great, sometimes I am lacking in vitamins, but supplements don’t help. this isn’t because my diet isn’t great. there are people that I KNOW eat worse than me, and drink alcohol and smoke cigarettes and weed and drink coffee, and they’re in better physical shape than I am. how my crashes are unpredictable and sometimes I can push through them, and I don’t need to nap to recover from a crash. I just roll with everything as it comes and deal best I can. no doctors have been able to help me at this point. I’m not a typical case of anything, and because of that people always try to fit me into a box. I want a word for it too, but I really don’t think that word is depression. I was depressed long before this started, but even before my depression became obvious and my health started going all fucky I was a bubbly, vibrant kid. maybe I am high-functioning, but I don’t think the price I’m paying for that is all these crashes. and it’s not just the crashes. it’s restless sleep for 8 years. it’s alcohol and medication intolerance. it’s pain and brain fog and... I can’t even think of what else. “those are also symptoms of depression” like I know that but I just.... I really don’t think that’s it. I’m on meds for my depression and they’ve helped my moods but guess who’s still physically declining? 

much to think about. I guess. I don’t really know what to make of it right now. what I do know is that I’ve been the same amount of tired all day from the minute I woke up til now, despite taking two crash naps today. I have to be up semi early for my telepsychiatry appointment in the morning. going to the pain doctor again for my shots. tomorrow’s mom’s birthday, so I need to do something for that too I guess. mom’s boyfriend invited us out for dinner at the barn in mom’s neighborhood, or if it’s raining maybe we can do dinner there. ~socially distanced~. maybe while I’m out for my doctor’s I can pick her up something. I fucked up and only planned her mother’s day gift, didn’t think to make a birthday one, despite knowing her birthday is like 2 weeks after mother’s day. every year, man. she did ask me to make 3 more masks for her and I did. took way longer than it should have though, my machine’s fucking up and I’m seriously tempted to buy myself a cheap singer one just to do my little projects. I know mine needs a tune-up, it’s a really nice, expensive machine, and I don’t want to wreck it by pushing it. there’s so much I don’t know about sewing and machines.

anyway. blah blah. bedtime I guess

[cecaeliana]

            CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT QUESTIONS

long post below the cut

001. When is their birthday?

February 2nd ( or, dependant on the Mal, roughly four or five days after Mal’s birthday )

002. Do they do anything to celebrate their birthday?

Usually, there’s a party. But it used to be that this party was held in competition with Mal’s birthday party, so was vying for guests and needed the most numbers, but now she’s not doing that, she’d settle for a gathering of her closest friends (her crew) and maybe she’ll give herself a whole day off work, if someone can talk her into it.

003. Does your character like coffee better, or tea?

Coffee, it’s all they had on the Isle so she never really got accustomed to tea.

004. Do they prefer being alone or with others?

She prefers to have a crowd around her, people to talk to and show off in front of, but when it comes down to it, she’d always prefer to spend her time with a couple of close friends rather than a huge group.

005. Are they in good health?

Relatively. Uma is a fairly healthy individual, especially once the barrier comes down, because then she has access to her own divine nature and that protects her from most things that would get to a normal human. She is, however, like most Isle kids, somewhat small for her age from the early malnutrition and lack of expose to sunlight. So, better than most.

006. What sense do they most rely on?

Sight is probably the most important, in terms of relying on it to get things done, but touch is something she relies on for comfort especially. and when she’s in her cecaelia form her tentacles are more receptive to touch, as with an octopus. they help her navigate, especially underwater.  

007. Is your character an optimist or a pessimist?

Uma is a realist, first and foremost. Or that’s what she’d say, she’s actually pretty optimistic.

008. What is their favorite fairy tale?

Cliche as it is, the original version of the little mermaid, where the mermaid’s feet cause her physical pain and then the prince marries someone else so she throws herself into the sea, still in human form, and turns to sea foam. Yep, that one.

009. Do they believe in happy endings?

No, because there’s no such thing as a happy ending. Endings are sad, that’s how endings work. And if you reach a point where you feel like you’re going to live ‘happily ever after’ you have to remember, there’s always more work to be done and eventually one of you will outlive the other.

010. Do they believe in love at first sight?

Not really. Love has to be allowed to grow. You can’t love someone you don’t know. Because then you’re just in love with the idea of them and all the messy bits underneath are just going to put you off.

011. How would your character court the person of their dreams?

About as subtly as a brick through a window. Uma is never subtle, so she’d likely approach them and ask them out, or maybe she’d try and get some info out of them first about things they like.

012. What makes your character embarrassed?

Being reminded of Mal’s nickname.

013. Have they ever been bullied or teased?

Yes. So much. the Shrimpy nickname stuck. And people clung to the idea that Maleficent was ruler of the Isle and therefore Mal could do no wrong, so if Mal wanted them to ostracise Uma and call her names, then they would, for fear of suffering the same fate.  

014. Detail one secret shame your character feels.

She feels ashamed that the whole of the Isle wasn’t always her priority. She always knew she wanted to get her crew off the Isle, but that was as far as her plan went and she’s ashamed of the thought that if she’d gotten the trident and bargained her way off the Isle with her crew at the end of Book 3, she’d have left and not looked back just like the Core 4 did.

015. Are they most likely to fight with their fists or their tongue?

Both. She’ll insult you to take your guard down and then punch you. Insults thrown whilst fighting are just par for the course with Uma.

016. What is their choice of weapon?

Sword. Or, against a magical opponent, magic.

017. When does your character think that violence is justified or deserved?

So much of the time. Way too much of the time. She’s trying to be better, but sometimes her first instinct is still to do something violent to get her point across and make people listen to her.

018. Your character wakes up to find that war has been declared. What do they do?

Gather her people around her, and then probably go out and fight. It would depend on the war and the nature of it. If it’s a landgrab from another kingdom, she might not bother, but if it’s a magical being attacking with intent to destroy the kingdom, she’ll get involved.

019. If they could have a superpower, what would they choose?

She kind of already has superpowers, so if she had to add something on top of what she already has, she’d probably take the ability to control plants so she can make crops grow on the Isle. If she had to lose all her powers and retain just one she would probably choose to retain shapeshifting.

020. What are their hobbies?

What’s a hobby? Uh, no, she enjoys singing, swimming and sailing. They might not necessarily be hobbies, but they’re the closest she gets.

021. How do they display affection?

Touches. Little touches on the arm, a hand in the hair. She likes to touch the people she cares for. Also protectiveness, so standing in front of them, throwing her arm in front of them. Joking around with people, rolling her eyes, punching them lightly in the shoulder.

022. What is the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen?

The sunlight filtering through the clouds as the disappeared when the barrier was brought down, filling the Isle with light like it had never seen before. or. Harry’s eyes.

023. What do they consider beautiful in others physically?

She considers most people beautiful in their own right. But soft hair and pretty eyes are very nice. A strong jaw.

024. What do they consider ugly in others physically?

This is really hard. Uh, completely bald heads maybe? I honestly don’t know.

025. What do they consider beautiful in others personality-wise?

Loyalty. Fierceness. Freedom of Spirit. Confidence.

026. What do they consider ugly in others personality-wise?

Self-depreciation/Self-hatred. Dishonesty. Bigotry in any form. Bullying.

027. What is their idea of perfect happiness?

she doesn’t know, or isn’t sure what exactly would make her perfectly happy. but she feels happiest surrounded by her crew and out on the water. so probably at the wheel of her ship, with her crew around her, safe in the knowledge that the isle is functioning, is growing, is a safe and happy place to live. that her work is done.

028. What makes them laugh out loud?

she’s actually quite fond of laughing and she never tries to hide her laughter if it’s something funny. so, sarcastic comments, jokes, people doing stupid stuff, people saying stupid stuff, people falling down or getting hurt (but not seriously injured)

029. What sort of sense of humor does your character have?

it’s quite a sarcastic humour, she’ll make lots of sarcastic or sassy comments.

030. Do they believe in the afterlife?

it’s hard not to believe in the afterlife when your great-uncle is literally the lord of the dead. she knows about the underworld and the afterlife and she knows it’s a very real, very literal thing.

031. Are they superstitious about anything?

don’t kill albatrosses. don’t do it. but otherwise, no, not hugely superstitious.

032. Does your character believe in ghosts?

yes.

033. Do they keep their promises?

as a sea witch, she has to keep her promises. a promise is a soul debt. uma takes promises very seriously.

034. What’s their view of lying?

she hates lying. she hates being lied to. she would always prefer the honest truth, even if it hurts. she does, occasionally tell white lies like “i’m fine”, but about anything more important than that, it’s a no-no.

035. What is the most important rule your character lives by?

if you want something, you have to work for it. no-one gets anything for free.

036. How honorable is your character?

fairly honourable. but she isn’t above trying underhanded tricks to get what she wants.

037. If your character saw someone drop a large sum of money and knew that they could probably take it without anyone noticing, what would they do?

probably take it. depending on who’d dropped it. if it was someone she knew, she’d probably return it. but finder’s keepers is the isle way of life.

038. What bad habits do they have?

not sleeping. swearing. speaking with her mouth full. skipping meals accidentally.

039. What do they think is the worst thing that can be done to a person?

damnatio memoriae. completely erasing someone’s existence from the world.

040. What is their obsession?

the isle of the lost and turning it into a liveable place. she is a workaholic.

041. Are they comfortable with technology?

pretty comfortable, but she prefers the old fashioned methods like letter writing and taking notes by hand than using a tablet or laptop.

042. What is their greatest achievement?

the barrier being brought down. while she’s not technically responsible, it was her plan and her actions that helped to change mal’s mind, so she’s taking credit.

043. What will they stand up for?

the little guy. the underdog. she’s a huge proponent for those in need, those less fortunate. she’ll stand up for freedom and fair treatment.

044. What disgusts them?

people in positions of power that use them to improve their own lives instead of helping other people. sexism. racism. classism. homophobia. etc.

045. Does your character have any chronic medical conditions?

mild depression.

046. How do they handle getting sick?

she powers through it, pretending like she isn’t sick at all.

047. What was the last medical problem your character had?

malnutrition as a result of living on a garbage island for years.

048. Do they have any allergies?

not that she knows of

049. How does your character feel about growing old?

the length of her lifespan makes growing old seem like something of a non-issue for her. she’s more concerned about other people growing old around her while she remains relatively unchanged.

050. How does your character feel about their own mortality?

given that she’s almost immortal, it’s not something she has to consider now that she’s free from the influence of the barrier. but she hopes that by the time it comes around, she’s done something worthy of getting into elysium.

051. If they knew they would die tomorrow, what would they do today?

make a list of all the jobs that still need doing and give it to someone she trusts to carry on her work.  

052. What is your character’s worst flaw?

her pride and inability to compromise. she’s incredibly stubborn about her plans, possibly to her own detriment. her need to always be in control.

053. What is your character’s greatest strength?

her compassion and her ability to see the world for what it could be instead of what it is.

054. Does your character want power or authority of any kind?

yes. it’s important to her to have power and authority always. it’s why she’s self-titled queen of the isle, it’s why she’s the captain. she struggles with relinquishing control and with trusting other people.

055. Is your character an introvert or an extrovert?

an extrovert.

056. Has your character ever struck someone in anger?

yes. though with time she comes to regret the action, she has definitely lashed out at both friends and enemies in blind anger.

057. Has your character ever killed anyone?

yes.

058. What is your character’s idea of a perfect day?

uma’s idea of a perfect day is a day out at sea with her crew, sailing the world and singing sea shanties and having a good time together away from other authority or people who hate them. just them, free and happy.

059. List several phrases your character is fond of uttering. Where did they pick them up?

what’s my name? is her favourite phrase, use to keep her crew in line, to boost herself up, and to make sure everyone knows who she is and that she’s in charge.   ( descriptor ) party, table for one (pity, loser, etc). picked up from her time in the shop. we ride with the tide! her crew’s mantra. a reminder that they will always be moving forwards.

060. What is your character’s attitude toward education and learning?

she enjoys learning, but she finds most educators boring or pointless. she’s much rather teach herself stuff. but she also wants everyone to receive a good education.

061. Does your character prefer adventure or safety and security?

adventure! she wants to see everything and travel the world and go on wild adventures.

062. What sort of legacy does your character wish to leave behind?

a good one. a big one. she wants to be remembered, but she wants to be remembered for helping people, for doing something good for the world and her people.

063. How well does your character handle difficult people?

it depends on the kind of difficult, but pretty well, usually. she will always assess a situation first, but she’s very good at adapting to whatever is needed from her in the moment.

064. In what ways does your character annoy others?

she’s demanding and controlling. so she annoys people by constantly needs to reassert the fact that she’s in charge, and she’s the most important person in the room.

065. Is your character better at leading or following? Which do they prefer?

leading, always. uma hates following, she can’t stand it.

066. Does your character prefer city life or being out in nature?

being out in nature, specifically, the ocean.

067. Does your character believe in fate or destiny?

she knows that the fates exist, that some parts of your story are prewritten, but she’d like to think she could change it on a whim, that she isn’t tied to anything specific.

068. How strong is your character’s sense of responsibility? What kinds of things trigger it?

very. she feels responsible for a lot. seeing people in need triggers it more than anything, seeing someone hurt or hungry is something she can’t stand.

069. What about your character is heroic?

a lot. she fights for what she wants, she fights for other people, especially those who maybe can’t fight for themselves.

070. What about your character is cowardly?

she doesn’t like getting too involved in her own emotions. especially the good ones and she doesn’t want to lose people, so she distances herself from them to avoid getting hurt.

071. How kind is your character?

fairly kind. she struggles with it sometimes because she’s never been taught kindness, but she’s trying.

072. In a Dungeons & Dragons game, which class would your character be? (wizard, fighter, bard, priest, ranger, etc.)

a druid, but a water druid specifically.

073. In a novel, what plot role would your character fill? (hero, anti-hero, sidekick, villain, etc.)

anti-hero. she’s a hero, but her methods aren’t heroic.

074. What is your character’s favorite game?

she doesn’t really play games. also she’d be a pretty bad sport at any game she didn’t win, so maybe uma is banned from game nights and doesn’t have a favourite.

075. Is your character ticklish?

not really, thanks to shape-shifting any part of her that was ticklish now isn’t.

076. How do they express anger?

loudly. it takes over her whole body, she goes tense and snappy, she gets loud and shouty, and even though she doesn’t like it and would like to change, she can get physically violent.

077. How often do they cry? Over what?

pretty much never. she tries her hardest not to cry. but she’s more likely to cry over very emotional things rather than pain. so she’s more likely to cry because a loved one got hurt, or because of her own feelings than anything else.

078. How emotionally stable is your character?

she’d like to think that she’s emotionally stable, but she can actually be quite volatile, she’s just very good at hiding her mood swings.

079. How easy is it for them to read the emotions of others?

very, ursula spent uma’s entire childhood teaching her about how people convey emotion through their bodies as well as their words and voices. she’s very good at discerning emotions.

080. How easy is it for others to read your character’s emotions?

she’d hope pretty difficult. she does her best not to fall into any of the usual traps, but she still has certain tells, so for someone who knows her, it becomes pretty easy.

081. Is your character religious?

a complex question, because she knows that gods exist as she herself is related to them, so she has to believe in gods, she can’t deny their existence, but she also knows that they’re not the omnipotent, omniscient beings they’re made out to be, they’re flawed and selfish and she gave up on asking for their help.

082. What are your character’s sleeping preferences?

sleep. any sleep. she actually doesn’t sleep very much, she can stay awake for days at a time and when she does sleep it’s only really in short bursts.

083. What is the first thing they say and/or do when they wake up?

check how long she’s been asleep for and what time of day it is, to calculate how long she has before other people are awake, or to see how much time she’s lost.

084. Describe your character in one word.

Hero.

085. Describe your character in three words.

Revolutionary. Stubborn. Ambitious.

086. How would your character describe themself in one word?

Queen.

087. How would your character describe themself in three words?

Queen. Captain. Witch.

088. Is your character quiet or loud?

Loud. So very loud.

089. How vocally expressive is your character?

very. she’s always ready to talk or argue her point. and she’ll always tell you exactly what she thinks.

090. How bodily expressive is your character?

in the middle. most of the time her body language is closed off, but she does like to show off.

091. What type of music does your character like?

she’s not really had much chance to listen to music yet, but female singers are her clear favourite.

092. What emotion does your character evoke in others?

loyalty, for the people who are with her. anger, in those that aren’t. fear.

093. What is your character’s goal in life?

to free her people and to make their lives better, to make their homes liveable and their land usable.

094. Name three things most would not expect your character to be able to know.

economics. the law. how to be good.

095. Name three things most would not expect your character to be able to do.

dance. hold her temper. bench press a car.

096. How do they move and carry themselves? What energy do they project?

uma is very confident in her movement. she walks with her head up and as if she expects everyone else to move out of her way (she does). she doesn’t make herself smaller or back down. she’s always an intimidating presence.

097. How well do they adapt to change?

uma is very adaptable. she’s very good at adapting, but that doesn’t mean she always likes it. if it’s a change she’s campaigned for, she’s all for it, but otherwise? she’s going to need serious convincing.

098. Does your character like animals?

yes. especially sea animals.

099. Do they talk to inanimate objects?

other than maybe swearing if she’s bumped into something? probably not.

100. Does your character dream? If so, what do they dream about?

she does dream, she often dreams about her crew, or her ship, or the depths of the ocean.