#look i heard that i was going to have reason to write something quick today
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bubblesthemonsterartist · 7 months ago
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this mess i made i made with love
She's calling for him.
He's not a boy, hasn't been for quite sometime - maybe even ever - but his throat aches and his eyes swell before spilling over. Gods, what a mess his heart makes.
Her voice calls out again, more familiar to him than his own skin, more beloved than all the riches he has broken glass and jaws for. She's calling for him, and he doesn't have the power, doesn't have the strength necessary to pretend that he didn't hear. That he doesn't know.
Those moments that meant something to him, meant something to her, too.
Nights like this are made for confessions, and before her is more of a confessional than he deserves.
"Miss." How to tell her everything that word has come to mean to him? He couldn't possibly. So instead he tries to stuff every last feeling into that single syllable instead. Obi points to his chest. To the scar she would have never let become a mark, and that stone meant to guide him through the darkest night. His heart. Still bleeding, still helplessly limping along.
It's all he has to offer.
"Will you keep this for me?"
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sturnlsstuff · 1 month ago
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CHRIS WOKE UP WITH A BONER AFTER HAVING A WET DREAM ABOUT YOU...
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warnings; smut, masturbation, handjob, getting caught, chris getting off next to reader?? idk
a/n; i woke up today with this exact scenario in my head so... i had to write it
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chris had a wet dream. an intense one.
and usually, there would be no problem with this, but today he wasn't alone in his bed.
the two of you decided to have a sleepover like usual, nothing surprising, you were bestfriends. but for some reason he had a dream about you, and it made him toss and turn in his sleep, bucking his hips against the blanket, trying to find some kind of release. his hand was unconsciously stroking his erection through his pajama pants that he wasn't wearing anything under - he liked to let it hang loose. but in his dream it was your hand.
his dick was so painfully hard that it woke him up, the room hot and quiet, the only sound being his soft, ragged breaths as he squeezed his hardness through the thin fabric. he was clearly overwhelmed with sleepy lust, his eyes were closed tightly as he keeps replaying the dream in his mind, the way your tits bounced as you rode him, or how your hand was jerking him off, making him feel so good.
chris lets out a quiet groan, pulling his pajamas down, freeing his hard length, the tip glistening with pre-cum. his breathing hitched slightly as his hand wraps around his cock, moving slowly, his sleepiness making him whiny and needy.
until he feels something shift beside him.
his eyes flutter open, a frown appears between his eyebrows and that's when he sees you. asleep next to him. you were laying on your stomach, cheek pressed against the pillow, your face turned away from him, hair tousled spilling across the pillow in a tangled mess. then chris's eyes move down, your tank top rolling up, letting him see a bit of the skin on your back, but something else caught his attention.
the blanket was drawn up to your knees so almost all of your body was exposed. your hips slightly raised, one leg thrown over the blanket, the shorts you were wearing leaving little to the imagination.
chris almost drooled all over himself. his hand freezes mid stroke, realizing that his best friend was just right next to him. thank god you were sleeping. he would be so embarrassed if you saw or heard him.
and he was about to stop, wanting to go to the bathroom just like any person would. but he couldn't take his eyes away from your ass.
how perfect it looked, how it was slightly up in those tiny shorts, making him lose all sense of boundaries. his gaze intensified as he stared at your lower half. he slowly shifts his hips, trying desperately to find a more comfortable position without disturbing you. inside, he's wrestling with his own confusion and guilt over his inappropriate attraction, but he was so sleepy and so fucking needy.
biting down on his bottom lip, his hand starts moving under the covers again, the faint sound of his skin sliding against his own growing louder as he picks up the pace.
if he's quick then you'll never know.
despite knowing it was wrong, he couldn't stop himself, his arousal and tiredness made him careless.
another whimper leaves him as he tries to stifle it in the pillow, his cheeks growing hotter, finding this situation strange but also incredibly hot. the sight of your ass makes him think back to his dream where he would pound into you from behind, grabbing your butt or slapping it, leaving red marks on your skin.
chris's movements immediately became more urgent, his breaths coming in short gasps. his hips lifting off the bed as he starts thrusting into his hand, imagining that it was you who he was fucking right now. the wet sounds echoing in the silent room, another muffled groan leaving chris as his teeth sink into his lip to keep the sound quiet. he was so close he could feel it, his legs spreading, giving his hand more room. he just needed to finish and wanted to go back to sleep, it was too early to be up.
but then he hears your voice.
"chris, what the fuck?"
his whole body tenses, his hand freezes as he moves his eyes up to see your confused face. you were clearly awake, propping yourself up on your elbows, a frown between your eyebrows. you've been awake for a while, him constantly shifting woke you up, and while you tried to sleep again, you didn't have the chance because of his quiet whimpers, and the obvious movements under the covers. so you were... listening. until you couldn't take it anymore.
his heart almost leaping out of his chest, his face turning a deep shade of red as he realized he's been caught.
"fuck-" chris's wide eyes full of guilt and embarrassment, he quickly tries to compose himself, pulling his hand out from under the covers as nonchalantly as possible, but he could feel the evidence of what he was doing still wet on his fingers. "i wasn't.... i...i was just... just adjusting..."he stumbles over his lie, seeing by the look on your face that there was no point in denying what you clearly saw and heard him doing.
he shifts uncomfortably, still painfully hard, his cock brushing against the covers almost making him moan. "shit, m'so fuckin' sorry, i just.... i wasn't thinkin' straight, i had a dream- i mean, i thought you were asleep and..."
but he's immediately silenced by your voice, the tiredness clearly making you more bold as well. "i wasnt sleeping," you admit, looking down at his covered by the blanket lap, and then back up. "did you, uh... finish?"
chris almost choked on his own saliva.
his heart raced, mind reeling as he stares at you with wide eyes, completely surprised that you asked him that. he expected you to be grossed out, or think that he's a perv, not asking him if he came. the curiosity was written all over your sleepy expression, his dick twitching after your question.
he shakes his head, not daring to use his voice, too scared that it will betray how much more you just turned him on.
chris can see the wheels turning in your head as you shift onto your side, still propping yourself up on your elbow. your tits perfectly squeezed together now, catching his attention, and he almost comes right there and then when he notices your hard nipples through the thin tank top you were wearing.
your voice completely unsure, but still managing to put a lot of dirty thoughts into chris's mind as you ask, "do you.... wanna?"
his breath caught in his throat, eyes widening at your question once again. you were asking... or maybe even offering something to him...?
seeing you so vulnerable and sleepy made him bolder than usual. he swallowed hard, his composure fraying, "yeah."
his eyes were locked on your face, seeing its just as red as his, the way you were nervously chewing on your bottom lip makes him wonder what is going on in that pretty head of yours.
neither of you could logically think now, both too worked up to do so. he watched your hand twitch, almost wanting to touch him but hesitating. he thought that maybe you were too shy to do it, when really, you were too scared to make the first move, knowing it's your bestfriend.
but chris was so hard, his mind whirling. he knew you were touchy-feely when you were sleepy, usually seeking any physical contact when you were staying over but never like this. and you gave him that look— your doe eyes making his cock throb. and he just had to take the decision out of your hands. he couldn't handle the unspoken request and his own need anymore. so he grabbed your hand and guided it down under the covers, wrapping your fingers around his erection. "like this," he murmured sleepily.
both of you breathing heavily as you squeezed him, his hips jerking involuntarily. you keep biting your bottom lip, pulling the covers off him so you could see him and holy shit.
"you're so big-" it slips out of your mouth before you can think, your cheeks immediately growing hotter as you keep your eyes locked on his cock, brushing your thumb against his tip and spreading his precum over his length.
a low groan escaped him after hearing your words, sleep and lust making his body super sensitive to your touch. "yeah?" a small smirk appeared on his face, seeing the way you look at him and start to grow more confident in your movements.
it was like his wet dream coming true.
his body tensing up while you're moving your hand on his cock, the slow strokes making him crazy. his hand gripping the sheets as he lets out another low, needy groan, the sight of your hand wrapped around him was almost too much.
"what did you dream about?" he almost misses your question, too lost in the pleasure you're giving him already.
"uh..." his hips began to move in sync with your strokes, unable to stay still. "...you-" he admits, sucking in a sharp breath, the precum beading at his tip as your thumb keep brushing against it.
"me?"
your eyes met his, the intensity of your gaze makes his dick twitch in your hand. he nods, reaching down to cover your hand with his own, guiding you to squeeze him tighter and move faster. "yeah, you... i, uh...dreamed 'bout you doin' this and then-" he cuts himself off when you immediately pick up your pace just like he wanted, changing your angle a bit as well, your other hand playing with his balls. "fucking shit-" he groaned, head falling back against the pillow.
"is this good?"
he wanted to laugh at your question, 'cause it was pretty clear to see. "yeah," he managed to choke out, his voice rough with desire. "so fuckin' good..."
his hair sticking to his forehead, brows knitted together as you keep jerking him off, him also fucking your hand which makes his balls tighten with each stroke, the pleasure starting to be overwhelming. he could feel your eyes being locked on his face more than his cock, and it somehow felt even more intimate. "holy shit, keep goin'-"
"what else were you dreaming about?" you ask, and chris wants nothing else than to show you.
"you were on top of me...ridin' me-" his chest was falling and rising rapidly. "and then i was— fuccckk— takin' you from behind—"
as he fucked into your hand and talked about his dream, seeing you listening and squeezing your thighs together, chris felt his release approaching fast. his breathing was ragged as he tried to hold back, but the way you reacted to his movements, the way your body tensed, was too much. "fuck, gonna come-"
you don't even have the chance to respond as he moans, finally letting go. his hot sticky cum spills out of his tip onto your hand and his shirtless stomach as he continues thrusting into your palm. his entire body shook with the force of his orgasm, his head thrown back and eyes closed, but he's totally aware of your gaze on him, and it makes all of this even more intense.
but you don't stop. he came, but your hand was still moving. your gaze falls on your painted with his release hand, and you have an urge to taste it.
so you do.
quickly enough you end up gripping his sheets for dear life, and moaning his name while he's deep inside you, turning his wet dream into reality.
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© sturnlsstuff
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bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky · 10 months ago
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Come Find Me | Bucky Barnes x Reader
I am back back back again! I have missed writing so much, I just don't have nearly the amount of time that I used to. But I'm in my last semester of school! So hopefully I'll be back on a consistent fanfic grind once I'm done :) PS: If you know what the title is referencing, you get a big hug from me.
Word Count: 13,439
Warnings: blood, talk of violence, reader injury
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Bucky checked his texts every few minutes. Initially, he lied to himself about the reason behind it. He told himself he must’ve opened his conversation with you accidentally, or that he mistook an email notification for a text from you. Simple, innocent mistakes. 
Either way, he always ended up staring at your side of the conversation, hoping for a gray ellipsis to appear. 
But after a while, he could no longer deny the truth- and why would he want to? You were coming home. 
You hadn’t been gone long, and your mission was projected to be a cake walk. But he couldn’t help it; he missed you. He missed you when you went on missions, when you visited your parents out of state, when you slept in your room down the hall. Missing you was part of him now, woven into the fabric of his being. It matched the material of his soul perfectly, like he was always meant to feel this way.
He fired off a quick “let me know when you land” message and waited, hoping you’d write back soon. 
Usually, you texted him when you were headed back to the compound. It gave him a countdown to your return and something to look forward to. It also signaled to him that you were, in fact, coming home alive. Even if a bit banged up, you were well enough to shoot him a message. And that always eased his worries.
Today, however, was different. No text, no call.
It struck him as bizarre and sounded Bucky’s internal alarms. But he silenced them as best he could. He wasn’t going to let himself get worked up, not when you had a perfectly good reason for not messaging him.  
This was your first time leading a mission with a new recruit under your wing. Bucky knew you devoted your full attention to your trainee, giving him absolutely everything you had. You took this position- as well as your pupil’s safety and success- very seriously. He knew you were probably busy helping your recruit learn a swath of new things, and who was he to interrupt?
Bucky opened the log and saw your jet had been marked as ‘incoming’ only minutes ago. A sigh of relief left his chest and eased his muscles. Sure, he would’ve rather heard that information from you, but it didn’t matter. Your jet would be here soon; he had no reason to worry. 
The moment he saw that your jet was homeward bound, he lost the ability to think about anything else. He counted the minutes, the seconds. You had to be close, right? The log wouldn’t have said ‘Incoming’ if you were still hours away. 
To pass the time, he folded laundry, answered emails, reread a few chapters of The Hobbit- but he couldn’t focus. He thought of you, only you. And no matter how hard he tried to distract himself, he couldn’t hang around his room any longer. He couldn’t stand it. He needed to be there when the jet landed. He needed to meet you on the steps of the aircraft and wrap you in a bear hug. 
And there was no real harm in waiting near the hangar, was there? ‘If anything,’ he told himself, ‘It’s actually more convenient for her if I meet her there. That way, I can carry her bag- she’s probably tired.’ 
Anything to rationalize his desperate need to be near you.
He knew in his heart of hearts that you didn’t need him to carry your bag or help you off the jet. But this lie was all the convincing he needed. Without hesitation, he ditched his room and set off down the hall, your impending homecoming pulling him forward. 
It was in that moment he noticed just how far the elevator was from his room. The walk seemed to stretch on and on, the hallway growing longer with each step. And how had he never noticed how slowly the elevator moved? It slid downward at a glacial pace, toying with his patience. For such an expensive, state of the art building, the elevator moved like an ancient piece of turn of the century machinery. Bucky cursed Tony’s engineering. 
Everything seemed to add time, multiplying his moments without you. The universe liked toying with him, teasing him. And this was just another cruel joke. 
The moment the doors opened, Bucky sprang free out into the hallway. He knocked into Clint and his group of trainees and called an apology over his shoulder without stopping. He couldn’t stop, couldn’t waste time- not when you could arrive at any moment. 
His field of view narrowed into tunnel vision, only allowing for visualization of the path toward the hangar. He didn’t greet his fellow team members or allow for distraction. You were his one-track mind. That is, until something stopped him. 
“Shit, sorry, man,” your trainee, Jake, laughed as he bumped into Bucky. He took a step to the side and attempted to continue down the hall, but Bucky blocked his path. 
“Jake?” Bucky eyed a bloody gash on Jake’s eyebrow, “when did you guys get back?”
Jake gave a casual shrug and checked his phone, “I don’t know, five minutes ago?”
“Oh, okay…” Bucky reached for his phone, but found his screen void of notifications. If you landed five minutes ago with your trainee safe and sound, why didn’t you send him a message? It was out of character for you. 
“Well, where’s your partner in crime? Or crime fighting, I guess,” Bucky tried to joke, but his tone was strained. He eyed each person who came around the corner, hoping to find your face. “Did you see which way she went?”
“Nah, she’s not here,” Jake was scrolling through Instagram, only half paying attention.
Bucky’s disappointed sigh left his chest deflated, empty. “Oh, did she say where she was going? Or when she’d be back?”
Jake pulled his focus from his phone and stared at Bucky with confusion on his face. His brows pulled together, his mouth hung slightly ajar. But finally, he made sense of Bucky’s words. “OHHH, okay, my bad- I think there was a miscommunication just now.”
Bucky sighed again- this time, with relief. 
“Yeah, no, she’s not here,” Jake continued, “because she didn’t make it back.”
Bucky’s ears started ringing. 
The sharp, piercing sound blocked out voices. Footsteps on the tile. Maybe Jake was trying to speak to him, but Bucky heard only the shrill sound of shock. Seconds later, his nerves fell numb. The utter absence of sensation disconnected him from his body. He was lost in a liminal atmosphere with no stability, no purchase. His entire being was shutting down, one sense at a time.
Bucky told himself to focus, to compute what he’d heard. He did his best to make sense of Jake’s words, but to no avail. His mind simply couldn’t understand the phrase “she didn’t make it back”. The words had shed their meaning entirely and sounded foreign to Bucky as they rattled around his skull. Goosebumps rose over the surface of his skin, and a cold sweat created a sheen across his face. He feared he might get sick. 
“I- I’m sorry,” he forced himself back into his body, back to the present. “I don’t think I understand.” 
“Things got pretty hairy- this was not the easy mission they said it would be,” Jake scoffed and rolled his eyes. “It’s not fair, I definitely got a way harder assignment for my first mission than all the other new agents, and I think it’s-” 
Bucky’s glare could’ve sliced Jake in half, “get to the point.”  
“Right, um,” Jake continued, “I told her over comms that I was leaving. I gave her plenty of time to meet me at the jet, but she didn’t answer. And she never came outside.” He shrugged, “I had to leave for my own safety.”
“So, you just-” Bucky felt himself losing his grip. “You left her there? Alone?” He didn’t realize he was shouting, didn’t realize he’d drawn attention to himself- until Agent Hill showed up.
She placed a light hand on Bucky’s tense shoulder, but instantly withdrew. He was shaking, practically vibrating under her palm. “Is there a problem here, guys? I don’t want-”
“He left her behind,” was all Bucky could manage.
Maria stared at Jake in disbelief, “you did what?”
A strange mixture of rage and heartbreak seethed behind Bucky’s eyes, “You don’t just abandon your partner-”
Jake’s attitude disgusted Bucky. He was detached, irritated. He rolled his eyes like an insolent child. “Relax, man. Jesus Christ, this isn’t the army. I didn’t promise to ‘leave no man behind’ or whatever-”
Bucky had heard enough. He lifted jake by the collar of his shirt, twisting the material in his metal fist. Jake’s head sent a sickening thud resounding through the space as Bucky forced him against the nearest wall.
“What the fuck?” Jake squirmed in Bucky’s grasp, “There are casualties in the field all the time, why am I being punished for-”
Bucky released Jake at once, sending him crashing to the floor. 
His voice was quiet, hollow. “Casualties?” He swallowed hard, “Is she-”
Jake shrugged at he rubbed at the bruise forming on his neck. “I don’t know, I assume so. I didn’t stick around to find out.” 
And just like that, Bucky was gone. 
He took off down the hall, forcing himself forward as a soul-crushing panic swallowed him whole. No matter how many times he blinked, no matter how fervently he shook his head, he couldn’t rid his mind of the picture Jake painted for him. Each time he shut his eyes he saw you- alone. Your bloodied, broken body laying collapsed against a wall of a Hydra base. Your skin slick with blood. Your skin cold. Void of life. 
He moved quickly, but not quick enough. He simply couldn’t outrun the familiar feeling closing in on him. His heavy, well-worn cloak of grief wound its way across his shoulders and twisted itself around his neck. He knew the suffocating sensation all too well. It weighed him down but couldn’t dampen his pace, nothing could; not when your life hung in the balance. 
He was too well acquainted with loss by now, too familiar with mourning. There’d been a time when he wondered if he’d ever grieve again. He’d lost his family, his friends, himself- what else was there? What more could he possibly lose? But the moment he met you, he knew he’d one day mourn again. He just didn’t realize that time would come so soon. 
A startling cold prickled at his skin, his lungs refused to inflate. How much time did you have left? How long would it take him to get to you? Were you even-
Hill’s voice yanked him out of his spiral, “Barnes, hey-” She made a grab at his shoulder, but her feeble attempt was no match for Bucky’s pace. “Where are you going?”
“To get her back.” Bucky’s tone was firm, resolute. He was going to bring you home or die trying.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Hill nearly tripped over her own feet as she tried to keep up with Bucky’s long strides. “You heard what Jake said, it’s a dangerous location- more dangerous than we thought. I think it might be best to wait it out for a few days, let things calm down and then-”
Bucky turned suddenly, stopping Maria in her tracks. “I’m not just going to leave her there.”
Maria shrunk away from the fierceness in his eyes, “I know you’re upset, but she might not be-”
“I don’t care.” His gruff tone dissolved, making way for the fear he’d so desperately tried to hide. “Whether she’s alive or-” he couldn’t bring himself to voice the alternative. 
Bucky knew what it was like to be assumed dead. He knew what it was like to be left in the field. 
“She deserves to come home,” he said.
Maria couldn’t argue with him. 
“Round up as many members of the med team as you can and have them meet me in the hangar. We’re leaving in ten minutes- sooner if we can.” Bucky turned and resumed his previous path, “I’ll be in the armory.”
Bucky grabbed as much weaponry as his duffel would carry without splitting at the seams and made his way to the hangar. He hoped to find ten, maybe fifteen members of the medical team waiting for him on the jet. He wasn’t sure of your condition, didn’t know how many breaths you had left. He wanted to give you the best possible chance at surviving the onslaught you endured. 
But when he turned the corner into the hangar, he found only three scrub-clad bodies. 
“Is this it?” Bucky boarded the jet and dropped his bag to the floor. He eyed the scant amount of medical support, their uncertain expressions. His hopes of bringing you home alive dwindled.
A nurse who’d stitched Bucky up more times than he could count gave him a nervous smile. “The med bay is swamped, the team could barely afford to let us come with you.” 
Bucky didn’t want to hear it. He didn’t want excuses or rationalizations. All he wanted was to bring you home with your heart still beating. And three medical professionals, he decided, was better than none. 
The flight to your location only gave Bucky more time to worry. He obsessively checked his weaponry, hovered over the med team’s supplies. But no amount of double and triple checking could save him from the spiral. He traveled down the path of every possible “what if?”, leading him only to heartache. No matter where he searched, he couldn’t find a positive outcome. And though he didn’t want to acknowledge the odds, he knew yours were slim- impossible, even. 
And as the jet grew closer to your location, Bucky steeled himself for what he knew he’d find: you, his best friend, his reason for living, his everything- dead. Cold. Lifeless. None of the horrors he faced in the past could compare; no pain could ever be greater. Bucky knew he’d hurt for the rest of his life.
The clouds parted as the jet began its descent. Slowly, a large stone building appeared out of the fog like a monster in the horror movies you loved so much. It stood in an otherwise empty clearing, its shadow looming over the dying grass. Smoke billowed from holes in the roof, the walls. Whatever happened here was catastrophic. Disastrous. 
Bucky’s heart sat lodged in his throat as he imagined you trapped in there. Goosebumps rose over the surface of his skin as he stared at the looming structure. He had to get you out, even if he died trying.
Just before the jet touched down, an idea popped into Bucky’s head. It scaled the high walls he’d tried to erect to protect himself from thoughts of your demise and grabbed him by the throat. It was smart- brilliant, actually. He was shocked he could even think straight given the circumstances.
“FRIDAY,” Bucky called out, “is comm 1209 working?” He shoved his own comm in his ear and waited for a response. 
“Comm 1209 is on and in range,” Friday said. “Would you like me to connect you?”
He couldn’t say yes fast enough.
A few staticky clicks and pops vibrated against Bucky’s eardrum as his comm connected to yours. But he was too scared to speak. What if you didn’t answer? What if he heard you take your dying breaths? Just the thought was enough to make him sick.
He owed it to you, though, to at least try. He’d always said he’d do anything for you, that he’d risk it all for you- and he meant it every time. If reaching out to you over comms exposed him to something horrible, something traumatic and unforgettable, at least he tried. At least he attempted to keep his promise. And after everything he’d been through, what was one more life-shattering, soul-crushing nightmare?
“H- um…” Bucky swallowed the large lump obstructing his throat. “Hello?” He waited a moment, holding his breath the entire time, and tried again. “Hello?”
He waited. 
No response.
“Doll? It’s me. It’s Bucky…” 
The dead silence on the other end of the line dragged on. It seemed like his words disappeared into the air, unacknowledged. Unheard. Maybe the sound of his voice was reverberating inside your ear as you lay dying. Or maybe he was talking to your corpse.
 The thought made him nauseous.
“Please, sweetheart. If you’re there- if you’re able- just say one word. Say anything,” he pled. A long bout of silence followed.
He clenched and released his metal fist again and again, desperate to rid himself of the panic settling into his bones. He was stupid to think you survived, stupid to let himself be optimistic. He made it here as quickly as he could, but he couldn’t save you. He was too late. 
He wanted to take one of his many weapons and turn it on himself. 
But a small sound stopped him.
“Buck…”
He almost fell to his knees. At the sound of your voice, an overwhelming warmth banished the cold that infiltrated his bones. Against all odds, you were alive.
A deep sigh of relief seeped from Bucky’s lungs, “Sweetheart…” 
A hurricane of emotion rattled against the storm doors inside Bucky’s mind. He couldn’t stop thinking about the ‘almosts’. How he almost lost you, how you almost died alone in a Hydra base. But he couldn’t allow it to swallow him- not yet. There was no time for a breakdown. He needed to move, he needed to get to you. 
He shrugged off the grief that rested heavy on his shoulders and swallowed the impending sob that vibrated inside his throat. “I’m here- I’m gonna come get you. Just tell me where-”
A staunch refusal came from your end of the comm, “No- no…” You took a sharp, rattling breath, “no way.”
Bucky didn’t like the way you had to fight to get your words out. You were clearly struggling, doing everything in your power to stay on this side of consciousness. He wondered how much time you had left.
But still, there was a familiar strength to your voice. Maybe it was the adrenaline, maybe it was the renewed hope of rescue; something was keeping you alive. 
“It’s okay, sweetheart, just tell me where you are. The jet just landed. I’m gonna get you out and-”
“I said- I said no,” you breathed. “You can’t c-come in here, it’s too dangerous… we were a-ambushed.”
Even in your condition, even when Bucky was your only hope of rescue, his safety was your first thought. You’d rather die alone than put Bucky’s life at risk; the thought made his cheeks pink and filled his chest with a fuzzy warmth. But he didn’t have time to enjoy the feeling.
“If you don’t tell me where you are, I’ll just sweep the whole building,” Bucky said, using your worry against you. “That means more opportunities for me to run into Hydra operatives. More time inside the base- it’ll be way more dangerous.” He could practically see you rolling your eyes, “so it’s probably better if you just give me a direct route, don’t you think?”
Bucky smiled to himself as he envisioned you on the other end. He was certain you were arguing with yourself, cursing his rationale. 
He waited for you to come at him with a sharp retort or a sarcastic quip but heard nothing. The silence on your end of the line dragged on. And on. It lasted far too long for Bucky’s comfort. Surely, you couldn’t still be thinking about his proposition? He’d given you more than enough time to make up your mind, more than enough time to come up with a response. It was time you didn’t have. 
What if you’d fallen unconscious? What if, in those quiet moments, your soul vacated this earth?
Bucky couldn’t take it anymore. He disembarked the jet, resolving to search every inch of the base. But just as he reached the dark, unsettling building, you spoke.
“F-fifteenth floor. Northeast… northeast quadrant,” you sighed, defeated. “There’s a- a room at the end of this hall, I think it’s maybe an office?” Again, you took a long pause. The energy required to think, to speak, was energy you didn’t have. “Just f-follow the trail of blood.”
Bucky’s breath caught in his throat. He shuddered at the thought of your blood leaving a path down the stark white, sterile hallways of the base. But he didn’t have time to focus on anything other than getting you out; this was a rescue. He owed it to you to keep his head level. To focus on getting you out as quickly as he could. 
“The power is… it’s out”, you said. “You’re gonna h-have to take-” 
Bucky wanted to save you from wasting any extra energy, “The stairs. Got it.” 
And while he normally didn’t mind getting a few extra steps in, he knew the time required to climb fifteen flights of stairs would push the limits of your survival. 
But he pushed the ever-encroaching sense of doom to the side and put on a brave face for you. For himself. “Okay, I’m coming to get you,” he promised. “Stay awake, and don’t move.”
“As if I h-have a choice,” you laughed a breathy, hollow laugh. A long groan followed. 
Your pain radiated through Bucky’s chest. He didn’t want to climb stairs or scour hallways- he just wanted to be there. To instantly materialize at your side. To bring you instantaneous comfort. He lamented the super soldier serum’s lack of teleportation abilities. 
“You know what I mean, doll. Just stay awake, okay?” Bucky drew his gun and stepped inside the building. “Don’t fall asleep. Do anything you have to do- just stay awake. Can you keep talking until I get there?”
“W-what am I…” You let out a raspy exhale, “supposed to talk about?”
Bucky cleared a long hallway and found the stairwell, “Anything, just keep talking.”
Another extended silence filled the air; it nearly drove Bucky crazy. Your silences held limitless possibilities, horrifying ‘what ifs’.
“It w-wasn’t supposed to be… to be like this,” you finally said. “It wasn’t supposed to be this dangerous. This was Jake’s first mission- it wasn’t f-fair to him.” Heartache coated your every word. Even after your partner abandoned you, even after Jake forced you to suffer and bleed all alone- you still sympathized with him. Still felt sorry for him. 
Bucky felt no such thing.
“I know, doll. Keep talking, okay?”
You sighed. “We s-split up for recon… that’s when they- when they came at me.” Your next few breaths were so shallow, your lungs barely inflated; the lack of oxygen left you dizzy. A thin veil of glittering spots sparkled and danced on the edges of your periphery. “It all h-happened so fast… there were so many of them. I just- I remember pain. And I hoped Jake was okay, w-wherever he was.”
Your heart was too good for this job. For people like Jake. Bucky admired your kindness, your empathy, your selfless nature. Even in the face of pain, of death- you thought about others. You often told Bucky how unfair life had been to him, lamenting his treatment at the hands of fate. Bucky found himself doing the same for you and your kind heart.
“I called out for h-him, I needed backup… I kept asking him to come help me-” A sharp cough rattled out of your throat. 
Bucky cringed at the sound. It was the only sound in the building. He hadn’t heard anyone else. Hadn’t seen one Hydra operative- at least, not a live one. He came across their bodies every now and again but didn’t see a single living soul. He was sure they deserted after the explosion. Just like Jake. 
The destruction, however, was everywhere. Bullet casings littered the floor. Blood stained the tile floors. Fluorescent lights flickered overhead. He had to get you out of here.
“But he n-never answered. And then he told me he was leaving. He said he was- he was outside already. He gave me n-ninety seconds to meet him at the jet…” Your words were tinged with devastation, with hopelessness, with betrayal. “I tried- I did my best to make it down the stairs. But I was- I was dizzy… I was b-bleeding.” The memory stung like your fresh wounds. “I kept slipping on- on my own blood. I just c-couldn’t move fast enough. It hurt too much.”
Wrath burned inside Bucky like a raging forest fire. But his utter heartbreak doused it completely, extinguishing the rageful flames. He found himself unable to think, to breathe. It took everything in him to keep moving forward. Who could ever leave you behind like that? Who could ignore your suffering and sentence you to death without a second thought? The image of you stumbling, struggling to run for your life gutted him.
“And then- and then I heard the jet t-take off,” you sighed. “And I listened as it got farther and farther away… until it was g-gone. And I was- I was alone.”
He thought of you sitting alone in cold silence as the noise from the jet quieted. As your hope dwindled. The entire base must’ve felt like a tomb, like a massive, lonely grave meant just for you. 
Bucky almost fell to his knees. Sobs throttled the inside of his chest, begging for release. Tears burned inside his lash line. Jake didn’t just leave you behind, he marooned you without care. And in his departure, he sealed your fate. 
“I d-didn’t have a way to call for… for help. My phone was on the j-jet with jake.”
The sorrow that stained your words was all too familiar to Bucky. It was the same hopelessness that accompanied him every day that he was at Hydra. When he laid in the snow for hours upon hours after falling from the train. He never wished that kind of despondency, that kind of  misery on anyone. And knowing that you, the person who deserved it the least, experienced it for even a moment shattered him.
“I realized I… I didn’t h-have any options,” you breathed. 
A collapsed column blocked Bucky’s path as he tried to make his way from the sixth floor to the seventh. The concrete was too high, too precarious to scale. If he tried to climb it and got hurt, it would only serve to diminish your chances of survival. And he wasn’t willing to risk that. With a huff, Bucky exited the northwest stairwell in search of another route. This was a waste of time- time you didn’t have. 
He painstakingly checked every hall until he finally found another stairwell. His breathing came a little easier as he rocketed his way up the stairs, growing ever closer to you.
“So, I found this- this room. It’s quiet. It’s out of the w-way. I needed somewhere to hide. S-somewhere to…” A small crack of emotion cut through your voice, “somewhere to die.”
It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that Jake got to return home safe and sound while you struggled to stay alive. It wasn’t fair that you had to seek out your own deathbed. Bucky wanted to scream, to break things, to spill every last drop of Jake’s blood. But he was a soldier, and this was a rescue mission.
“This seemed like as g-good a place as any,” you choked on a weak laugh. “Beats dying in the middle of a h-hallway, I guess.”
Bucky’s automatic response was to swear that you’d make it out. To promise that you weren’t going to die. But he bit his tongue. He couldn’t make those kinds of assurances. He’d do anything to bring you comfort but swearing that you’d return home alive seemed almost cruel. 
He pushed himself to move faster. He couldn’t let you die alone, especially not in this godforsaken place. As he sprinted up the last flight of stairs and ripped open the door to the fifteenth floor, he struggled to orient himself. You were in the northeast quadrant, but where was he? He searched for anything to indicate his location- but found no signage. No directory. 
Everything inside of him rattled with dread, with anxiety. Any moment now, you were going to die. You were going to take your last breath. All alone. A thick, suffocating wave of panic crashed over Bucky as he realized- you were going to die disappointed. You were going to leave this world knowing that he hadn’t gotten to you in time.
It was then that he noticed a faded arrow painted on the wall, with “NEQ” painted below it in block letters. Northeast quadrant. He was closer than he thought.
“I’m gonna be there in just a second, doll,” he said as he followed the arrows.  “I think I’m right around the corner.” 
This was just his way of making you feel better, you were sure of it. The hallways were long and winding. Each floor was a maze of its own. Even with your vague instructions, it could take him a while to find you. Still, Bucky’s words brought you comfort in the way that only he could.
“I know, I t-trust…” A metallic taste filled your mouth. A warm ooze trickled down your chin and dripped onto your chest. The warm, fuzzy feeling brought on by Bucky’s assurances faded. Of course, you knew you were in bad shape. But as blood leaked from your mouth, you wondered if these were your last moments.
Instantly, you searched for the words to say goodbye to Bucky. Time was slipping through your fingers, life draining from your body with each passing second. But before you drifted off into a never-ending sleep, you had to tell Bucky what he meant to you. You’d use all your strength, your last few breaths- whatever it took. He just had to know. 
But how does one say goodbye to a soulmate? You didn’t have the energy or capacity to make a grandiose speech. And the blood filling your mouth impeded your ability to speak. You wanted to tell bucky everything- how he comforted you, cared for you, made your life worth living. How your life revolved around him as though he were your personal sun. But nothing quite encapsulated the things you felt for him. Every word in the English language, every sonnet fell short. And the lack of oxygen getting to your brain sabotaged your phrasing.
“Buck, I think it’s… I think it’s almost t-time,” you rasped.
But just as you opened your blood-stained mouth to proclaim every feeling you ever had for him, the door flew open. Alarm coursed through your veins at the threat. Surely, a Hydra agent had stumbled upon your hiding place and was here to finish you off. The severe blood loss was no match for your training, thought. And, on instinct, you pulled your gun on the tall, dark silhouette standing in the doorway.
“Woah, hey!” Bucky raised his hands in surrender. “It’s me, it’s just me.”
At the sound of his voice, your arm fell limp. Your gun clattered to the floor. Your head lolled back against the wall. It had taken everything in you to try and protect yourself one last time. And now that your energy reserves were nearly depleted, you allowed your eyes to close.
“S-sorry…” A barely-there smile pulled at your lips. “My… my bad, Buck.”
“No, don’t be sorry, doll.” 
Bucky knelt in front of you, taking in your broken, bloodied body. He’d seen carnage before, witnessed more death than anyone should. But this, you- it was different. It hurt in places he didn’t know he had. But he didn’t let it show. Knowing you, you’d spend your last few moments comforting him, trying to make him feel better. And so, he forced a warm smile and tabled his breakdown for the moment.
“I’m actually impressed. I mean, you might be hurt, but you were ready to take me out just now,” he forced a chuckle. “That’s my girl.” His cool metallic hand brushed against your blood-stained cheek. 
And in that moment, something within you changed. Your eyes shot open. You blinked a few times before forcing your eyes shut once again. You gave your head a few good shakes. Surely, this wasn’t real- it couldn’t be. 
You opened your eyes wide once again, taking him in. “Bucky?”
With one shaking hand, you reached for him in the most pathetic attempt he’d ever seen. You were weak, dangerously so; it scared him to his core. But you were alive. 
He leaned in, meeting you in the middle, and let you stroke at his stubble for a moment.
“Yeah, I’m here,” he kissed your palm. “I’m so happy to see you.”
“You’re…” you other hand reached for him, but made it only a centimeter or two before falling into your lap. Bucky opted to take it in his. “You’re here?”
He nodded, “I could never leave you behind, sweetheart.”
He may have continued speaking after that, but you didn’t quite hear him. The emotion you’d tried so hard to swallow came bursting forward, crushing your every attempt at remaining levelheaded. Your fingers smoothed over Bucky’s cheek again and again. His name fell from your lips in what resembled a prayer. Tears rolled down your cheeks and mixed with the blood crusting over your skin. 
A soft, warm wave of peace rolled in, covering you like a well-loved quilt. The pain disappeared; the sorrow evaporated. All that remained was Bucky. This was the warm spring that followed a dark, bitter winter. The first rays of sun after a vicious storm. The first taste of home after a long time away. You let the familiar warmth of Bucky’s presence drown out the rest of the world until only you two remained.
“Sweetheart, did you hear me?” With a gentle squeeze of your hand, Bucky called you back to the present. “I need to look at your wound, okay?”
A sharp rush of pain nearly blinded you as you lifted your shirt, exposing the bloody mess. But even as Bucky appraised the gunshot wound that turned your abdomen into horror scene, you couldn’t find it in you to worry. Your hands lazily found his shoulder, his chest, his face; you just wanted to touch him. To know, without a doubt, that he was there. That he was real.
“Hey, we… we need to t-talk,” you whispered as Bucky did his best to quickly bandage your wound for transport. “I n-need to talk- to talk to you…”
Bucky nodded, “sure thing, doll. Absolutely. We can talk about whatever you want. But right now…” he returned your shirt to its rightful position and met your gaze. “Right now, I need to get you out to the jet, okay? We can talk later.”
He guided your arms around his neck, lifted you into his arms, and moved as fast as he could through the winding hallways. His quick gait set your nerves alight with pain. Every bump, every jostle had you gasping for breath. And though it was a necessary evil, the guilt still sat in Bucky’s stomach like a rock. His repeated ‘I’m sorrys’ were nearly constant, doubling with your every grimace and groan. But he couldn’t slow down, couldn’t let the time slip away; you didn’t have much left.
Between pained sounds and twisted expressions of discomfort, you said the same thing on a loop. Again and again and again, you pled with him, using energy you didn’t have. 
“We need to… to t-talk.”
“I h-have to tell you.”
“Can I talk to y-you about- about something?”
And though Bucky would’ve loved nothing more than to have a long heart to heart with you as you two often did, you weren’t strong enough. He couldn’t let you waste your finite energy on a conversation with him. And so, he responded to each of your requests with an ask of his own, begging you to save your strength. He promised that the two of you could talk tomorrow, that there was plenty of time for a conversation later. 
But ‘plenty of time’ almost seemed like an empty promise. And ‘tomorrow’ felt like a lie. Would you have a ‘later’? He didn’t know. But he didn’t want you wasting your oxygen, not when he feared it might be your last breath.
Boarding the jet with you alive in his arms almost felt like a win to Bucky. Almost. Sure, he’d gotten you out with your heart still beating, but your condition worsened by the second. And the grave looks the med team wore as Bucky gently rested you on the treatment table dug a deep pit in his stomach. 
They sprang into action, placing IVs and delivering medications. Scissors glided through your shirt and exposed your broken body to the med team. Bucky knew they’d seen their share of gnarly injuries over the years, but he swore that they recoiled at the sight of your wounds. 
With a shake of his head, Bucky refocused. He had to get you out of there- to get you home. He headed for the controls and planned to set the jet in motion. But he made it only a step toward the cockpit before a hand caught his.
“S-stay…” you whispered. “Please.”
His heart shattered. “I’m not leaving you, doll, I promise. I just have to get us in the air, okay?” With great care, he placed a kiss to your hand and set it at your side. “I’ll be back in just a minute.”
Bucky’s body operated on muscle memory alone as he initiated take off. His mind was occupied, completely and totally, by the sound of your weak voice begging him not to leave. The sound played on a loop inside his brain, cutting him deeper each time. You’d already been abandoned once today; he was certain you feared it would happen again. 
With a deep breath and a quick reset, Bucky did what he had to do. He needed to be on his A-game for you, needed to be his very best. Only a few hours ago, you’d trusted someone with your life, and they failed you. Bucky wasn’t about to do the same. He worked carefully to chart the fastest route back to the compound, opting to forego FRIDAY’s proposed path. It kept him from your side longer than he would’ve liked, but less time in the air seemed like the best option. The sooner he could get you to the med bay, with its massive, brilliant medical staff and unlimited resources, the better. 
Just as he finalized the flight plan and asked FRIDAY to notify the med bay of your impending arrival, an unsettling sound pulled his focus. It was an ominous beeping, alarming your care team of a sudden, life-threatening change. 
Gloved hands moved at lightning speed; voices yelled medical jargon back and forth. And you laid there on the table. No heartbeat. No respirations. Deathly still. 
Bucky stood on the periphery, too horrified to get any closer. 
He thought it best, of course, to stay out the med team’s way. But knew deep down it was an excuse. He was simply too terrified to lose you. If he got closer, if he saw you struggling to stay alive, all of this would suddenly become real. And he couldn’t handle that. 
“Barnes!” A nurse screamed at him, “did you hear me?”
Bucky forced himself back to the present. “No… I, um-”
“She has no pulse- get over here, we need you to do compressions!”
Bucky’s desperate need to help you, to save you, overpowered his fear. And in an instant, he was at your side. He loomed over you, his hands locked together, preparing to help resuscitate you. But once again, his fear reared its ugly head. You were already so badly injured, so weak. And he was far too strong. What if he made your condition worse? What if he-
“Come on!” The nurse yelled at him, “start compressions- now!”
He did as he was told. He pressed into your body with a measured pressure, careful not to crush your chest. But his cautious compressions didn’t cut it. The nurses instructed him to push harder. To “actually compress” your chest- and Bucky followed instructions. 
But as he did so, a sickly snapping sound exploded from your body. Bucky recoiled instantly; his face contorted in horror.
“What are you doing? Keep going!”
“I can’t- I think I broke her ribs,” Bucky shouted at the doctor. “What do I do?”
“Keep going!” The nurse yelled, “It happens- just keep going.”
Bucky broke out into a cold sweat. His stomach turned at the thought of hurting you, of causing you even more pain; you’d been through enough as it was. But he did as he was told. With each round of compressions, he swore he created new fractures. He felt every splinter, every crack as he put pressure on your chest. 
He wanted to sever every last nerve-ending in his hand; anything to rid him of the sickening sensation creeping through his palm. But if doing this saved you, it was worth the nightmares.
He watched as the two nurses provided your supplemental breaths and tended to your endlessly bleeding wound. The doctor called ‘clear’ every so often, shocking you with a defibrillator in an attempt to restore your heartbeat.
Round after round of compressions, breathing, and shocks passed by without signs of improvement. You remained lifeless, unresponsive. A syringe of epinephrine delivered straight to your chest did nothing. And Bucky felt what little hope he had slipping through the cracks in your ribs. He couldn’t believe he was about to lose you; couldn’t believe he’d have to watch you die. Hot tears blurred his vision and streaked down his cheeks. His legs went numb. At any second, he knew his knees would give out, knew he’d crumble to the floor under the crushing weight of grief.
The doctor deemed the next shock your last, and Bucky almost doubled over. 
“Come on, doll, just-” He swallowed a sob, “just stay. Stay. Do it for me, I’m begging you. Please?”
The doctor called one last “clear” and delivered your final shock, only to be met with the rhythmic beeping of your heart monitor.
“Sinus rhythm restored,” announced the nurse to Bucky’s left. She appraised the waves on your EKG and gave a nod. “She’s stable.”
After what felt like an eternity, Bucky took a breath. He stretched his tense fingers and did his best to  relax the rock-hard knots forming in his shoulders. A new crop of hope bloomed cautiously inside his chest, but he couldn’t allow it to blossom and flourish just yet. You weren’t out of the woods; there was a very real possibility that your heart might stop again. And he wasn’t sure how many times the doctor could revive you before throwing in the towel.
Less than a minute after Bucky’s cautious optimism sprouted anew, a soul crushing sight dashed it completely. A sharp gasp filled his lungs, a shudder rocked his frame. Shades of deep, dark blue bloomed under the skin of your chest. Black and purple splotches stained your sternum. Some spots were already starting to swell. He extended a hand in your direction but recoiled in an instant, fearing he’d hurt you yet again. 
“Happens all the time,” one of the nurses said with a shrug. “Believe me, broken ribs are the least of her worries.”
Somehow, her words didn’t make him feel any better. He ached to hold your hand, to sweep a gentle caress across your cheek. But he didn’t dare touch you after what he did. Every glimpse of your bruised, swollen chest sent bile rushing into his throat. 
The three dedicated members of the med team worked tirelessly for the rest of the flight. They did everything in their power to keep your condition steady, to maintain the life they worked so hard to save. It brought Bucky comfort to see them staying so close, ready to jump into action if need be.  
Bucky, like the med team, hovered. He couldn’t bring himself to leave your side. You seemed too fragile, your condition too tenuous. He counted your every breath, took stock of every beat of your heart on the monitor. Stepping away for even a second felt wrong. He needed to be there if you crashed again, if the doctor needed extra hands. He needed to be there to help.
And if you woke up, he wanted to be the first face you saw. 
But you didn’t wake. A groan here, a muscle twitch there- that was all you could spare. And though Bucky wanted nothing more than to see you open your eyes, he thanked the universe for keeping you unconscious. He knew tsunamis of pain rippled in the wings, waiting to overtake you the second you woke.
Bucky held his breath as the jet landed. Every jarring bump, every vibration, forced his heart into his throat. He feared that even the slightest impact would send you into cardiac arrest. He flicked his eyes from the rising and falling of your chest to the rhythmic flashing of your heart monitor and back again. Nothing changed, no alarms sounded. And when the jet finally stilled, Bucky breathed a deep sigh of relief. He just needed to get you to the med bay for treatment, and this whole nightmare would be over. 
He didn’t like being optimistic. It felt like a set-up, like false hope. If he told himself you’d survive and you didn’t, the fall would be that much harder, that much more devastating. 
But being realistic wasn’t any better. Telling himself that you were too far gone, that you weren’t going to make it, felt wrong. To him, it seemed like he was cursing you. Like willing your death into existence. Like begging the universe to end your life. 
And so, he opted for a neutral mantra. “She’s home,” he told himself. “She’s home. She’s home. She’s home.”
The distance to the medbay felt longer than usual. The hallways seemed to stretch on forever, the double doors to the triage center seemed to grow farther and farther away. Bucky followed your gurney closely, only allowing a few inches of space between the two of you. He couldn’t be separated from you again. He wouldn’t. He needed to be with you every second, watching over you. 
A dark cloud of impending doom loomed over his psyche. It whispered to him, telling him that if he left your side, if he let you out of his sight, you’d die. You’d be gone forever. And it would be his fault. He knew it was nonsense, that this was just his anxiety operating on overdrive. But he couldn’t shake the fear. And risking it wasn’t an option.
“No visitors past this point,” a security guard placed an arm in front of Bucky as he tried to enter the triage unit.
Bucky tried to go around the man, watching as the medical staff carried you farther out of reach. “I’m not a visitor, I’m an agent-” 
“No agents past this point, then,” the guard rolled his eyes. “Only patients and medical staff. You can have a seat over there.”
A small table sat against the wall, flanked by two chairs. It was a sad, makeshift excuse for a waiting room that operated as a device to keep people from hanging around. But bucky couldn’t be discouraged. He took a seat in one of the chairs, determined to wait there as long as he had to. He knew he’d missed a number of important phone calls by now, and probably several meetings. But he didn’t care; all that mattered was you. 
Dread circled Bucky like a buzzard as he waited. It was taking too long- why was it taking so long? How much time did the medical staff need? You were stable when the jet landed, the nurse said so. Why were there no updates? All Bucky needed was a nod, a bit of information. But he remained in the dark, wondering if you died on the operating table.
Maria found Bucky slumped in a chair with a zombie-like air about him. He was expressionless, his gaze hollow. His palms traced the same track up and down his thighs in a never-ending cycle. One look and she knew: something was very wrong.
“Hey,” she called softly, hoping not to startle him.
But Bucky didn’t respond- he didn’t even react. He just sat there, his unblinking stare burning a hole in the tile. An uneasiness enveloped Maria. She’d never seen Bucky so empty, so despondent. As she stared at him, she found herself fearing the worst. ‘Maybe he just received terrible news’ she thought. ‘Maybe he’s grieving’.
“Hey,” she tried again, nudging her foot against his. 
He came back to life with a start. A sharp inhale filled his chest, his eyes blinked wildly. But his palms never stopped moving in their endless cycle against his tactical pants. And he never actually looked at her.
“Hi…” he breathed. 
Hill took the seat opposite him. She conjured the gentlest, warmest tone she could find, “is everything okay?”
Bucky balled his hands into tight fists and stretched them out again. Maria noticed blood- your blood- crusting under his fingernails and staining his skin. But before she could get a good look, he grabbed the arms of the chair. His palms rubbed fervently against the plastic handles for a moment until they moved to his face. He ran his hands along his jaw, his spiky stubble poking into his skin.
“Barnes, what happened? Are you-”
Finally, his head snapped in her direction, “I can still feel it…”
“Feel what?”
Bucky’s head fell into his hands. He pressed his palms against his eyes and dragged them down his face. Maria watched him fall apart in slow motion. He seemed to be unraveling, one cell at a time. And when he finally spoke, shame made his words almost unintelligible. 
“She crashed on the jet…”
“Oh...” Maria did her best to keep a calm, even tone. Her concern for you vibrated in her chest, but she didn’t dare let it free- not when Bucky was moments away from a meltdown. “Is she-”
“The med team needed help. There weren’t enough of them- they needed me to do chest compressions,” Bucky said, his voice low. “And I broke- I crushed her ribs.” 
A sharp shudder rocked his entire body. Just thinking of that moment, when his too-strong hands destroyed your chest, was enough to make him sick. To scar him for life. To haunt him. Of all the horrible things he’d done in over the years, this was the worst. He gave his hands a quick shake, hoping to rid his nerve endings of the sensation.
“I felt her bones snapping under my hands,” Bucky’s words dripped with shame. “And I can still… I still feel it.”
“Okay,” Maria said gently. “Well, if she-”
“She was already in such bad shape,” Bucky swiped a tear from his cheek. “And I… I hurt her. I made it so much worse.” 
His head fell into his hands once again and did not reemerge. 
“Hey, look at me,” Maria gave his arm a gentle touch. 
Bucky only shook his head. 
“Come on, Barnes, just look at me for a second.”
Again, he refused. 
Maria abandoned her chair and sat instead on the small table. She never got this close to Bucky. Usually, she preferred to give him his space. He wasn’t the touchy-feely type- unless you were around. But he was lost in a shame spiral, adrift with no hope of return. And he needed rescuing. She placed her hands on his and gently removed them from his face. 
“You saved her life,” Maria said. “Twice. You rescued her from the base, and when the med team needed help, you came through.”
“But I-”
“Did it work?” Maria asked, her tine almost stern. “Did the chest compressions work?”
Bucky nodded. 
Maria gave him a shrug, “That’s all that matters. She can recover from a few broken ribs, but if you hadn’t been there-” 
Bucky averted his gaze as his eyes filled with tears. 
“Hey,” Maria grabbed his face, bringing his focus back to her. “If you hadn’t been there, she’d be dead.”
Maria’s words fought hard against the demeaning voice that lived inside Bucky’s head. It screamed at him, telling him that he shouldn’t believe her, that he was a monster, that he almost killed you. Usually, Bucky allowed his inner demons to run free. He listened to them without pause, believing anything and everything they told him, no matter how vile. But Maria was steadfast and unshakable in her sentiments; she truly believed what she was saying. And by some miracle, Bucky did, too.
“Thanks…” He granted her a hollow smile and a small nod. 
Hill sat in silence with him for a few hours. She didn’t try to make small talk or ask what was going on inside his head. She simply existed near him, sharing the space so that he didn’t have to be alone. She ignored important texts and sent every call to voicemail. She knew it was exactly what you’d do for him, if you were able. And she did her best to fill your shoes.
Abruptly, Bucky’s head snapped in her direction. His pulse thrummed against his skin as a new wave of anxiety crashed over him. “She kept saying…” he sighed. “She kept saying we needed to talk. She wanted to talk to me about something.”
Maria cocked her head to the side, “About what?”
He shrugged. “I told her we could talk later because there would be plenty of time,” Bucky’s words grew shaky. He found himself near tears for what felt like the millionth time that day. Guilt sucker punched him. “What if… what if there isn’t more time for us? What if that was all we were ever going to get? What if-”
“You’ll get more time,” Maria said with certainty. “The universe has a way of evening things out. You were robbed of time once; it won’t happen again. Plus, you’re deserved some fucking karmic retribution- you’re owed this.”
Bucky wondered how she could be that sure of something so ethereal. But she was steady, solid as a rock. She didn’t waver in her words or add caveats at the end. She, somehow, knew it to be true. And Bucky couldn’t help but believe her.
But when Fury called her for the eighth time, she knew quiet time was over.
“I have to go, okay? Fury can’t do anything without me, he’s hopeless.” She stood from her seat and rested a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “Call if you need anything.”
Bucky thanked her a million times over and, for the first time, gave Maria a hug. She would never know how much her reassurances helped him. She’d pulled him from the ledge and gave him what he desperately needed: perspective.
In the hours that followed, he let her words play on a constant loop inside his mind. “If you hadn’t been there, she’d be dead,” he heard her say. “You’ll get more time.” The sickening feeling of your bones snapping under his strength never faded, and the fear of losing you still had him in a chokehold, but Maria’s words quieted his mind. 
In the sad, empty waiting room, time seemed to mutate. Some of the hours dragged, others whizzed by. Bucky wasn’t sure how long he’d been there. Was it ten hours? Or twenty? He didn’t really care. He’d wait lifetimes for you. 
He saw the security guards change shifts once, twice. It was the only thing alerting him to the passage of time, as part of him believed it was standing still. On the third shift change, they told him to go home. 
“They’ll call you if there’s an update”, said one of the guards. “It’d probably be a good idea for you to go get some sleep, or something.”
Bucky knew he looked like hell. Your blood left crimson streaks across his face and neck. And the dark circles he usually wore under his eyes were a deep shade of plum. But he couldn’t leave, he couldn’t sleep. Not when your life hung in the balance. Not when you needed him. 
A few more hours passed with no news, and Bucky found himself teetering on the edge of insanity. An angry, desperate voice bellowed inside his head. It told him to bust through the doors and find you, no matter what it took- even if it meant hurting people in the process. The gun secured to his hip and the knife strapped to his ankle became eerily attractive. His hands itched to reach for the weapons, to hold someone at gun point until they allowed him to see you. But he couldn’t to give in to the fear, to the violence. It took him years of therapy and long talks with you to stop seeing himself as a monster- and he refused to destroy the progress you helped him make. 
A doctor stepped out of the double doors and looked in Bucky’s direction, “Sergeant Barnes?”  
Bucky was on his feet before he knew what hit him. This was it. After what felt like an eternity of not knowing whether you lived or died, he was about to have an answer. Sweat dampened his palm, his brow as he stood in front of your doctor. 
He didn’t know he was even capable of this kind of fear, this kind of agony. And though he was an impossibly strong physical specimen, Bucky knew he’d never be able to lift the weight of the grief that followed your loss. He knew that, if you died, he’d spend the rest of his life dragging himself from place to place, unable to stand, unable to push back against the overwhelming, oppressive force of losing you. 
Your doctor spoke quickly and professionally about your condition, but the words turned to mush the second they reached Bucky’s brain. The combination of medical jargon and pure panic made their meanings imperceptible. But one phrase managed to cut through the fog of Bucky’s anxiety and exhaustion: “you can see her now.”
And just like that, Bucky took off. His fatigued body did its best to carry him through the halls, stumbling every now and then on the smooth tile of the hospital floors. But he didn’t dare slow down. He had to get to you. 
By the time he reached the door to your room, he found himself shaking- almost shivering- with anxiety. He knew you were alive, of course. Knew that the doctors had been successful in saving your life. But something in him doubted their handiwork. Something in him swore that if he didn’t get to you in the next half second, you’d flatline. Again. 
He could practically feel his brain rattling around inside his skull, his teeth chattered against one another. And the sharp tremors in his hands made it nearly impossible to get a grip on the door handle. Panic and frustration coursed through him as the he tried again and again to gain entry to your room with no luck. A strangled sob forced its way out of his chest and caught the attention of a nurse- one of the nurses who helped keep you alive on the jet. 
“Hey…” Her eyes drifted to Bucky’s shaking hands. “Need some help?” Before Bucky could answer, she’d abandoned the medication she was prepping, discarded her gloves, and made her way to his side.
“Here, let me.” Her soft, sympathetic tone was almost too kind; Bucky’s eyes blurred with tears. She turned the door handle and gestured for Bucky to go inside.
His “thank you” was for more than just the door. 
Bucky took a few steps inside and drew in a sharp breath; he’d never seen you in such severe condition. Over the many hours that Bucky waited for you outside, all of your bruises grew darker, more menacing. They stained your throat, your face, your arms. He didn’t even want to think about the ones on your chest- the ones he caused. Dried blood crusted in your hair and formed a path down the side of your face. It sat caked under your fingernails and rested in the creases of your palms. Thankfully, your gunshot wound was covered by gauze and concealed by your gown. But knowing it was there was enough to make Bucky sick. He, of course, witnessed and inflicted, his fair share of carnage over the years. But he knew your wound would haunt him for years to come- simply because it was yours. 
All he wanted was to be near you. To sit at your bedside and hold your hand. But he didn’t dare to get any closer. Electrodes attached a dozen wires to your chest. IVs sat lodged in the crooks of your elbows, in the backs of your hands. Machines and monitors kept track of your vitals. And who was he to disturb this fragile, vital ecosystem? What if he accidentally pulled out one of your IVs? What if he detached a wire by mistake? He’d already hurt you once today, he wasn’t about to do it again. 
He, instead, opted to stand at attention. A few feet away. For your safety. He didn’t touch you, didn’t even say your name. He simply stared at you, counting your every breath. 
An hour- or maybe two- passed by with him like this. Nurses checked on you, doctors poked their heads in. And every time, they told him he was permitted to sit by your bedside. But he just shook his head. Sure, slipping his hand into yours, being close to you- it would provide him with incomprehensible comfort. But he couldn’t, not when you were so severely injured. 
After the third hour, Bucky feared his sanity was slipping. A wicked voice lodged deep in his psyche suddenly awakened. It whispered to him, taunted him. Maybe this was all a dream. Maybe he was asleep in the waiting room. Maybe you didn’t survive. Maybe…
And he would’ve believed it, had you not snapped him out of the vicious spiral. 
“Buck?” He feared he’d never hear you voice again, but there it was. Hoarse and weak- but yours.
Bucky flew to your side. He cradled your face gingerly in his hands, completely consumed by the need to touch you, to feel you, to know that you were real. His palms laid flush against your cheeks, his thumbs sweeping over your skin. And in an instant, the sickly sensation of your snapping bones vanished.
A hurricane of tangled thoughts and emotions crashed over him. He had so much to he wanted to say, so much he wanted to confess to you. But the words refused to arrange themselves properly. Suddenly, Bucky wished he’d used his ample time in the waiting room to better organize his thoughts. He wished he’d sought out a pen and a scrap of paper and used them to plan and articulate his sentiment. But even if he’d found the supplies he needed, he wouldn’t have been able to jot a single thing down. Not with his shaking, unsteady hands.
Anxious words and broken sobs got stuck in his throat and formed a garbled, unintelligible mess as they left his mouth. But it was the best he could do. He stared at you, waiting for your response.
“I, um…” you looked at him for a long moment. The haze of head trauma, blood loss, and pain killers made you foggy. You did your best to trace your steps back through Bucky’s words, certain that your condition was the cause of your confusion. But after a significant pause, you came up empty. “Sorry, I- what?”
Bucky slid one of his hands into yours and gave a soft laugh. “Sorry. I tried to say-” He sat quiet for a moment. What had he tried to say, exactly? He wasn’t sure. With a small shake of his head, he re-rerouted. “Um, it doesn’t matter. Here, how’s this:” He cleared his throat and spoke with the sharpest pronunciation possible. “How are you feeling?”
Your laugh- Bucky’s favorite laugh- bubbled up to the surface. But regret swallowed you whole as pain shot through your head, your chest, your side. The hurt radiated through your entire being. It rendered you breathless, and left your face twisted in an agonized grimace.
Bucky didn’t like how long it took you to recover from the small chuckle you shot his way. A pang of worry shot through him.  “Don’t exert yourself, okay?” He swept a thumb across your cheek, “you don’t wanna tear your stitches or...” He cleared his throat, “aggravate any, um, broken bones.” Bones that he broke.
“No, I’m…” you squeezed your eyes shut for a long moment before opening them again. The pain slowly receded. “I’m good, I’m okay. I just- breathing is hard. I forgot how shitty it feels to have broken ribs.”
Bucky nodded. His teeth sunk into the smooth flesh of his cheek. A metallic taste coated his mouth. He didn’t want to tell you the truth. Didn’t want you to know that he was the cause of your severe pain. But you deserved to know, didn’t you? With a deep sigh, he opened his mouth, intent on telling you what really happened. But you cut him off. 
“Thank you, Buck. For coming to get me. I really thought I was…” Hot tears stung your eyes and blurred your vision. “I thought that was it for me, you know? And I just want you to know how-” you sniffed, “how grateful I am.”
Bucky left your side for only a second, retrieving a box of tissues from the counter across the room. He was back in no time and swept a tissue across your cheek to catch your tears.
“I know we always say that we have each other’s backs but you… you meant it,” you said. A small smile pulled at your lips, “thank you for meaning it.”
Bucky nodded. He did his best to keep his breathing steady, to stop himself from falling apart at the seams. He knew exactly what it felt like to be left behind, to wait for your last moments- alone. 
“I wasn’t gonna leave you there, doll. I couldn’t.” 
You gave a small nod. “Yeah, I- I wish my partner had felt the same way…” The hurt in your voice was unmistakable. It sliced though Bucky’s chest. “I didn’t think he would ever do something like that. I mean, I thought we were friends.”
The mere thought of Jake brought a familiar rage to the forefront of Bucky’s mind. He didn’t understand how anyone could be so callous, so uncaring- so indifferent to the well-being of others. The part of him that swore off unnecessary violence remained quiet as the rest of him imagined Jake’s demise. He wanted your disloyal partner to suffer. To squirm and squeal and regret that he ever left you behind. But that could wait- you were the priority.
“Yeah, I didn’t expect him to be that kind of person,” Bucky sighed, “he seemed like a stand-up guy.”
Silence filled the room as you thought over Jake’s desertion. His abandonment hurt. It stung in places you didn’t expect. You’d taken Jake under your wing and did everything in your power to be the best leader possible. All you wanted was to help him. To set him up for success. 
And after working alongside Bucky for so long, you’d forgotten that disloyalty to one’s partner was even an option. 
“He probably panicked,” you tried to rationalize. “And then once he realized what he’d done, maybe he…”
There was no rationalizing this. 
An ugly realization slithered into your mind. “After he left, I think he probably hoped I’d just die… that way I wouldn’t be able to give my side of the story.” The weight of Jake’s actions hit you like a train. Rivulets of warm tears rolled down your cheeks, only to be swept away by Bucky’s gentle hand. With a small shake of your head, you did your best to banish the feelings of abandonment and betrayal. Wallowing would only make you more miserable. And you didn’t need emotional pain on top of the physical agony that already plagued you.
“Well, joke’s on him,” you shrugged, “cause I’m still alive.” Pain radiated through your chest, bringing a grimace to your face. “Kind of.” 
Bucky didn’t understand how you could just dismiss the bad feelings. Couldn’t understand your propensity for levity. Your partner left you for dead without a second thought- and yet, you found a way to joke about it. It was something he’d always admired about you, something he wished he was capable of. 
You gave a strained laugh, “I can’t wait to see the look on Jake’s face when he finds out that I didn’t die.”
Bucky wasn’t sure what prompted him to say it. It left his mouth without his brain’s authorization.
“But you did.”
He wished to take the words back, but it was too late. They hung in the air, just out of his reach. 
“I…” you struggled to grasp Bucky’s words. “I what?”
This was not the time- or the place, or the way- to tell you the truth. But he didn’t have a choice. His clumsy words made his bed, and now he had to lie in it. 
“You, um…” Bucky didn’t want to think about what happened, let alone say it out loud. But he owed it to you to be honest. Especially after Jake had lied to you about being a trustworthy partner. Bucky scratched at the stubble on his face, ran a hand through his hair. Anything to delay the inevitable. But he couldn’t put it off for long. “Your heart stopped- you died. On the jet.”
Only one word fell from your lips, “Oh…” 
“And while I’m at it, I might as well tell you that…” Bucky took a deep inhale. He was in too deep now. And keeping this from you any longer felt like lying. “That your ribs are broken because of me.”
A quizzical look crossed your face, “what do you mean?”
“I mean… the med team was short staffed on the jet. There were only three of them. And when you crashed, it was- it was an all hands on deck situation.” He flashed back to the moment when the alarms sounded. When your EKG flatlined. A shudder ran through him. “They needed me to do chest compressions. And I- I didn’t want to hurt you, but the nurse said I wasn’t pushing hard enough to actually help you. And when I pushed harder- I broke your ribs.”
Bucky searched your face for something- anything. Anger. Fear. Betrayal. But he found nothing. Your expression was as neutral as they come. He feared that something lingered just below the surface. That once you fully processed his words, you’d erupt into a perfect storm of disgust and disappointment.
He told himself to wait silently until you made up your mind. But the outburst exploded from his lips before he could stop it. “I’m sorry- I’m so sorry, sweetheart. You know I’d never want to hurt you, I would never do anything to hurt you. But I… they told me I had to push harder. Or it wasn’t going to work. And I just wanted it to work, I wanted you to be okay, and-”
It took almost all of your strength to raise your hand and place a finger to Bucky’s lips. He fell silent.
“Buck, it’s okay.”
He tried to form a rebuttal, but you cut him off. 
“You didn’t have to rescue me, but you did. No questions asked, no hesitation. You saved my life by getting me out of there. And you saved me again by helping the med team.” Your hand drifted from Bucky’s face and landed in his palm. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
Bucky didn’t say anything else. His fingers traced gentle patterns on your palm. His eyes fell downward. You could almost see the shame eating him alive from the inside.
 “Hey,” you intertwined your fingers with his. “I can handle a few broken ribs.”
“No, I- I know you can. I just…” A sad smiled flickered across his lips. “I feel terrible. You went through a lot. And I just don’t like knowing I made it worse.”
A long silence filled the room. You’d seen this side of Bucky more times than you could count. And you knew him well enough to know what followed. He was going to feel bad- terrible, actually- about this for a while. There was no accelerating the process or absolving him of his guilt. No amount of reassurances could save him from it. He just had to sit with it. One day, the weight would diminish. But it was going to take time. And that was okay. 
You gave his hand a squeeze. “I thought your voice was a hallucination, you know.”
Bucky lifted his head.
“And when you came into the room, I actually thought that was a hallucination, too.” A smile stretched across your face, “I mean, I thought I was losing my mind.”  
Bucky gave a half-hearted chuckle. He didn’t want to think about you in that room by yourself. About you struggling to tell what was real.
“But then you touched me…” You raised your hand and brushed it across your cheek, mimicking him. “And that’s when I realized that you were real- that you were there.” You fell quiet for a moment, lost in the memory of Bucky’s rescue. “It was like, in that moment, I wasn’t scared anymore. I wasn’t scared of the pain. I wasn’t scared of dying. I was just scared that…”
“What?”
“You have to promise not to laugh,” you told him with an authoritative tone. “Cause I know it’s corny, or cheesy, or whatever.”
“Sweetheart,” Bucky drew an X over his heart. “I’m not gonna laugh at you.”
You stared at him with narrowed eyes, sizing up his promise. But, of course, you knew Bucky would never tease or ridicule you about something like this. 
“Okay, fine, I um… I was scared that I’d never see you again. If I died, I mean.”
Bucky’s lungs emptied. He couldn’t remember how to breathe, how to speak. A sudden ache ripped through his heart as it splintered and shattered into a million pieces. To know that you thought of him in what you believed were your last moments somehow ripped him apart and put him back together all at once.
Your voice cracked. Tears filled your eyes. “I was afraid that we’d already run out of time. I was afraid that we weren’t going to get any more.” A few soft sobs escaped from your throat, followed by a pained groan. But you pushed passed the throbbing in your chest. “But I was so relieved. Because I got to see you one last time. It was the most intense sense of peace I’ve ever experienced.”
Bucky struggled to hold on to his composure. He felt himself crumbling, weakening under the weight of your words. 
“But then I realized- I realized I’d never get to tell you. And you kept saying we could talk later, but I didn’t know if there would be a ‘later’. And when I blacked out, I was so full of…” You shook your head ever so slightly, sending a few tears dripping onto your cheeks. “I had so much regret. Because I needed you to know.”
“To know what?” Bucky leaned in close, searching your face for any inkling, any clue. “Doll, it’s ‘later’. Tell me- whatever it is. You can tell me now, it’s-”
Your lips met his in a soft kiss. In it, everything you’d ever felt for him came rushing forward. Admiration. Longing. Lust. Obsession. Adoration. Love. 
A sting of pain jolted through you as your split lip brushed his, but you didn’t care. His hands found your face, your fingers curled into the collar of his shirt. It was always supposed to be this way. 
When the two of you finally separated, Bucky simply stared at you. He didn’t move, he didn’t speak. He wasn’t sure he knew how. 
“I love you, Buck. I’ve loved you- for so long.” A huff left your chest, “So. Long.” 
Still, Bucky remained silent. Nerves began crawling through you like vines, twisting their way through every fiber of your being. But you owed it to yourself, and to Bucky, to tell him the truth. 
“And I just… I know how you see yourself. And I know you don’t think you’re even worthy of my friendship, let alone love. But I was so anxious, cause I thought you’d never know the truth. I thought I’d die without getting to tell you. And you’d live the rest of your life thinking that you’re not worthy, that no one could ever love you. But I- I love you. I just needed you to know.”
The silence made your ears ring. Bucky’s face still wore a mask of bewilderment. And you feared you’d ruined everything. 
“You don’t have to say it back, though,” you said. “I’m not gonna stop being your friend if this is an unrequited thing.”
Finally, Bucky came back to life. He rolled his eyes and let a scoff escape his lips. He leaned in close, the tip of his nose almost brushing yours. “Unrequited? I broke every SWORD rule and policy. Abducted medical staff. Stole a jet. And went on an unauthorized mission. All to get you back. I didn’t even know if you were alive, I just- I had to bring you home.” 
He closed the small gap that remained between your face and his and granted you warm, gentle kiss that tasted like home. “I did all that- and you thought there was even a chance that I didn’t love you back?” Bucky gave a playful roll of his eyes, “you don’t know me at all, sweetheart.”
You returned his eye roll. "Well, you're a really great friend to me. And you always have been. So, I didn’t take a rescue as a proclamation of love,” you gave a strained chuckle. “I just thought-”
“I’ve loved you for…” Bucky thought back over the course of your friendship. The day you first met, the first time you helped him through a panic attack, the time he made you the ugliest cake in the world for your birthday. He saw his life in two parts: before he met you and after he met you. And he so preferred the after. 
“I don’t even know how long,” he shrugged. It was almost automatic. His feelings for you didn’t need a slow, gradual build up. They descended upon him all at once, like the world’s most beautiful avalanche.  “It’s been a long time- an embarrassing amount of time, probably,” he laughed.
“Oh, so we’re both cowards then,” you shot him a wink. “Too afraid to tell the other how we feel.”
Bucky nodded, “It seems that way…”
“But you weren’t too scared to steal a jet and run into possible gun fire?” you quipped.
“Nope. Didn’t even think about it,” he said matter-of-factly. “I just wanted to find you.”
You’d never experienced a love- a commitment- like that. It sent a rush of warmth into your cheeks and somehow eased the pain plaguing your body. You knew in your heart you would’ve done the same for Bucky without a second thought. But knowing that he was so fiercely determined to bring you home felt almost unbelievable. You had the proof, though, right there in front of you. This man, who you loved, loved you too. And loved you enough to risk his life for you. It wasn’t something you’d ever ask him to do, and you knew you’d never have to. He’d do it without hesitation. Without reservation. He’d walk through fire for you if it meant bringing you home. 
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kthologue · 1 year ago
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keep dreaming! – gojo satoru
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synopsis. down bad? … it’s gojo satoru!
contents. fluff, lovesick!gojo, he basically has a wet dream of you, you wear tinted lip balm, your first kiss w him (??), suguru plays devil’s advocate
notes. remember spring days!au but can be read alone. anyways, enjoy!! I am writing this while sick (yikes). also of course this wouldn’t be canon compliant if i had not included satoru and suguru’s dynamic! I tried my best to apply their interactions during the basketball match + while theyre leaving jujutsu tech as much as i can.
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“satoru…” you murmur, looking up at him shyly. the two of you find yourselves alone in the classroom. a greedy smile plays on his lips, and you struggle to formulate words as your eyes travel from his cerulean ones to his lips. satoru can barely contain his excitement, the anticipation radiates from him like an electric charge.
“say it, [name]. tell me what you want.” he whispers back at you seductively, his eyes are spellbound onto yours. you whine before grabbing the collar of his uniform and pulling him onto you. your lips are soft, so soft. you were made for him, he’s sure, as your lips mold together. as a matter of fact, your lips are so soft that they feel eerily like his pillow–
"get up! we’re late to our mission!" suguru hits the top of satoru’s head with the spare pillow on his bed. the white haired boy immediately activates his innate technique to block his best friend’s attacks.
it was going to be a long day.
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“it’s unlike you to wake up so late.” suguru’s hands pause over the shoji door of the classroom. his concern for gojo was more important than the imminent lecture they were going to receive from yaga for their tardiness. “plus you totally sucked today.”
their mission had taken an unexpected turn for the worse when the pair had found themselves stuck in an incomplete domain. the narrow escape was only possible as a result of suguru’s quick thinking with rainbow dragon.
the bandaid on satoru’s cheek is a silent testament to the mission gone wrong.
“i’ve just been tired.” satoru mumbles quietly, heat rising to his cheeks as the memory of the dream flashes in his mind. he was too deep in thought to counter his friend’s insult.
something was definitely wrong. suguru raises his eyebrows, “and it has nothing to do with the fact that i caught you making out with your pillow?”
“i– what?” the heat has spread from his cheeks to all over his face. he hopes his sunglasses cover the blush that was blossoming on his face. suguru lets out a breath of relief. satoru’s blush meant that the matter at hand was only trivial…
“don’t tell me you were dreaming of [name],” his best friend smiles knowingly. satoru groans. suguru definitely knew, he was just playing with him at this point.
their conversation is cut short when the doors slide open by themselves to reveal a certain brown haired girl with a distasteful look on her face.
“satoru is having wet dreams of [name]?” shoko remarks quietly, making sure her comment is only heard by the two males. “i would act surprised, but it’s not like you’re above it.”
“just who do you think i am?” satoru looks down at his friend.  
“a real pervert.” shoko simply replied before quickly making her way back to the desk next to yours. 
satoru’s eyes follow her and make their way onto you. like a fly making its way into a honey trap, he can’t seem to look anywhere else. too busy burning the image of you absorbed in your textbook, he absorbs every little detail from the way your soft lips slightly part to mouth the words of the book to the way your leg bounces underneath the table. were you using a new lip balm? there was a subtle shade difference from your usual choice. gojo makes a mental note to ask you for the exact brand for… personal reasons.
in his trance, satoru fails to notice yaga’s scolding. he had also failed to notice how suguru had already made his way into a desk.
“satoru since you seem so eager to continue standing, i assume you volunteer to solve this equation.” yaga angrily taps the blackboard with a worn out price of chalk. 
satoru stiffens up, not because of yaga’s wrath, but because your attention has shifted from the textbook to him. you blink up at him, the image dangerously similar to his dream. satoru gulps, eyes quickly flitting to the equation messily written on the board. 
at least math equations don’t make him feel like his heart is beating out of his chest.
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it didn’t take a genius to notice how quiet satoru has been today. as if he were in his own world, you notice.
“i fear that i may have been giving satoru too much attention lately,” you mutter to your two other friends, mind running laps trying to recall all of the intimate moments you have spent with the white haired fiend— all of which could be characterized as highly inappropriate. 
“you always do,” suguru lazily rests his chin on the palm of his hand on the desk across from you. after yaga’s lecture, the seats had been rearranged appropriately so that the four of you could enjoy lunch together. “lay some of your love on us too.” he gestures his chopsticks to himself and shoko who were sitting side by side.
one could argue that the subtle smirk playing on suguru’s lips were a lot more dangerous than satoru’s. you’re afraid that suguru has started a game that will only end with your downfall.
the silver tongued boy seemed to catch satoru’s attention with his comment.
“ha– mad that you don’t pull? get your own girl,” satoru speaks up for the first time, glaring at his best friend through half lidded eyes from above his dark glasses. the half eaten melonpan in his hand was long forgotten.
“last i checked, [name] wasn’t your girl,” suguru places his chopsticks back down on his bento box. 
you could’ve sworn you saw an irk mark appear on the side of gojo’s face. 
shoko, who had been watching the scene unfold, sips on her juicebox silently. your eyes anxiously flit between the two boys.
“if you’re still mad about that mission, step outside. it’s not like i’m the one savin’ our asses every time.” satoru grits his teeth. 
the loud sound of suguru’s chair screeching on the wooden floor reverberates in the mostly empty room, “you and your uncouth mouth,” he accuses satoru.
shoko flees the scene. smart girl. 
you were about to follow her, but suguru holds out a hand for you to stop,
“i’m just about done anyway. please, don’t cut your meal early on my account,” he looks down at you and your full bento box. the black haired boy leaves no room for discussion when he turns his back to leave the classroom. 
when the shoji doors are slammed shut by suguru, your head whips to satoru who resumes eating his strawberry melonpan. 
“what was that? you’ve been acting strange, satoru– what happened on that mission?”
“don’ worry ‘bout it,” you barely make out the words coming out of his mouth that is full as he munches on the pink bread. 
you scoff, “you can’t just expect me to ignore the argument you just had with suguru. and that ugly bandaid on your face?” you point at the skin-colored bandage haphazardly placed on his face. upon further inspection, you also notice the growing eyebags on his face. it was truly peculiar to see any blemish on satoru’s perfect face.
he pouts, “are you calling me ugly?” satoru doesn't take pleasure in upsetting you, but the gradual way you leaned closer to him sparked an unexpected thrill within him.
“no, i’m worried about you. you’re being weird, satoru.” he was far from ugly.
as your back faces the window, the outside light casts an otherworldly glow around you.
“well, aren’t you an angel?” he tilts his head as he leans back in his seat, completely enamored.
“you never stop, do you? you’ve been completely out of it all day!” your scrutinizing gaze zeroes in on gojo who was mindlessly nodding with a dazed out smile on his face. “and judging by the way you’re all bandaged up, suguru was probably right! i mean you totally got roughed up. the great gojo satoru, wounded.” 
satoru blushes at your angry face. he’d say something indecent, but he fears that it would only scare you away. if only you knew that the reason he was all messed up was because of you.
“it's partially your fault, y'know.” cerulean eyes blink at you sheepishly before being replaced by a newfound mischievous look.
he doesn’t miss the way your anger shifts into confusion.
"excuse me?"
satoru continues, “if it weren't for you appearing in my dream i wouldn't have been distracted by that incomplete domain.” he points to the bandage cut just below his right eye.
“dreaming of me now, gojo?" you raise an eyebrow. the uncomfortable heat that was starting to rise onto your face at the new revelation that gojo dreams about you is ignored.
satoru looks away, "can you really blame a guy?"
you huff, ignoring his comment, “i think yaga has a first aid kit somewhere in the closet.” you make your way to check out the forgotten door in the back of the classroom. 
the cool sterility of medical supplies contrasts with the charged atmosphere left behind in the classroom.
when you do come back with the kit, your heart races, praying he won't notice the hitch in your breath as your fingers delicately tend to the nearly healed scratch beneath his cheek. satoru's ability to evoke strange emotions within you is undeniable.
silence envelops the classroom, broken only by satoru's deep breaths. you're so close that you can almost feel the warm gusts of air from his breath on your face.
"your body healed remarkably fast. i'm not surprised," you softly observe, your focus on the task at hand. satoru smiles, his eyes fixed on your concentrated features.
"yeah? well, i have an excellent nurse," he remarks, tapping the freshly placed bandaid on his cheek. "though it seems she missed one of my injuries."
you furrow your eyebrows. satoru points to his expectant lips, a playful pout on his face.
"no," you plainly state.
"aw, c'mon. kiss it better? i almost died today," he pleads, his eyes silently begging. you shake your head, unaware that it was your fault he nearly lost his head during the mission.
"you really want a kiss?" you repeat, catching on to his persistent request.
he nods fervently, his excitement palpable. was that even a question
you think he was pretty insane– requesting kisses from a fellow peer.
“satoru..” you murmur, leaning closer to him. his eyes were twinkling with excitement. the two of you were all alone, left with nothing but each other. this scene was all too familiar. 
the sides of his lips quirk up into a smirk while he watches your eyes travel all around his face. satoru has been fantasizing about this moment since the moment he laid eyes on you.
“[name],” he says, his voice softer than ever, a privilege reserved for those closest to him—especially you.
just a few more inches and your lips will meet… just a few…
slap!
satoru blinks in shock while you giggle at his confusion. he attempts to ask what just happened, but his mouth is sealed. his hand rises to find a bandaid now on his lips.
“you’re cuter when you shut up.”
 you seal your words with a soft kiss placed on his bandaged mouth.
...
gojo satoru explodes, his voice muffled by an adhesive barrier.
“m.rrry.. m.. mph..mph!”
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extra: 
all conflicts were resolved by evening when you had strategically set up a mario kart tournament.
right after you (indirectly) kissed gojo, you fled the scene, leaving a flustered satoru all hot and bothered. you ended up screaming into your pillow.. the same pillow that satoru was laying on not too long ago.
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bloomseishiro · 1 month ago
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TONGUE TIED AT THE THOUGHT OF YOU — NAGI SEISHIRO
⋆。˚ ❀ summary: nagi gets away with lots of things by sleeping, including not cleaning the classroom when it’s his turn to help out. too bad for nagi, you won’t let him get away with that. strange…that’s the first time this has happened to him.  ⋆。˚ ❀ contents: fluff, modern high school au/no blue lock au?, they are 3rd years, reader is shorter than nagi, NAGI MAKING READER ALL FLUSTERED AHH THIS GUY ⋆。˚ ❀ wc: 3.0k ⋆。˚ ❀ a/n: nagi the shoujo male lead that u are !! i was kicking my feet and giggling while writing some parts of this :p 
Nagi Seishiro wasn’t known to have many friends. 
At least, that’s what you’ve heard from your friend who shared homeroom class him during your first year. He would fall asleep in class, not participate in after school activities, and didn’t even try to eat lunch or form study groups with anyone.
It was high school sacrilege, and, for some reason, you kind of admired him for it. How cool was it to not care at all about what others thought? As weird as your friends said you were for this, you honestly found Nagi Seishiro to be pretty cute. 
His messy, white hair and relaxed attitude… There was something about it you quite liked. It also helped he was tall and athletic-looking.
Still, there was no way you would act on it right now— You were certain, for one, that he didn’t even know your name despite being in two whole classes together this year. Somehow, even in the close proximity of a classroom, your paths have never crossed. 
That was, until now. 
“Y/N, Nagi. The two of you are on cleaning duty today,” said your teacher with a smile. “You can ask your friends if they want to stay and help, but it shouldn’t be too much today. Just a wipe-down of the tables and sweeping the floor.” 
Your jaw almost dropped at the announcement. You were ready for the school day to end without anything exciting happening, but then this happened. 
“Yes, Matsumoto-sensei,” you acknowledged, waving goodbye as your classmates left the room. “I’ll help clean with Nagi.” 
As the students emptied out, the teacher let you know she was going to grab a quick snack at the teacher’s lounge. By the time you were about to start cleaning, you noticed Nagi hadn’t moved from his seat. In fact, he hadn’t even lifted his head…
This didn’t exactly surprise you, but you hoped you wouldn’t have to clean the classroom all by yourself. 
You hesitated before leaning over his desk and tapping his shoulder. “Nagi? Are you asleep?” 
There was no response. 
Leaning in closer, you shook his shoulders even harder, squinting at him as if the intensity of your stare would be enough to wake him up. 
And to your surprise, perhaps it did. As if on cue, one of his eyes groggily opened. 
Proud of your success, you smiled. “Good not-morning, Nagi.”
He yawned, not lifting his head up from his desk. “Who are you?” 
“Me?” You pointed to yourself.
He nodded.
You frowned, but responded, “I’m Y/N. It’s our turn to clean the classroom today.” You blinked, feeling a bit hurt even though you knew it was silly. Nagi hardly interacted with anyone, even his teachers, unless he had to. It should be no surprise he hadn’t bothered to learn your name as well. But still, having that confirmed felt sort of…hurtful. “You know, that’s a bit mean.” 
His eyes widened a fraction but he kept his voice toneless. “Mean? How?”
“We’ve been in the same school for three years, I’ve even shared a few classes with you. Like this one. I guess it kind of stings you never bothered to learn my name.”
Nagi finally lifted his head from his desk, sitting in a mostly upright position. “Is that something you care about?” 
The phrasing was off, but it didn’t seem like he had any malicious intent behind his words. 
“I suppose I do care a little. You should make an effort to learn your fellow classmates names,” you said, shrugging your shoulders. “I mean, I know your name, don’t I?”
“I guess,” he said, as if he didn’t even think twice about why people would know his name. “I didn’t know your name. But I did recognize you. Is that still mean?”
You nodded but your hardened expression faltered. Some people were bad with names, you supposed. “I guess I feel better hearing that…”
“I know you’re that person that tripped during the last leg of the relay race during sports day.”
His words brought the embarrassing memories rushing back and you cringed, hiding your face behind your hands. “I take it back. I’d rather you did not know my name and did not recognize me if it’s for something like that!” 
“Well, I do know your name now. Y/N,” he stated. “And that scene is kind of hard to forget. It’s like it happened in slow-motion. Like I was watching an anime.” 
You grimaced even more. Slow-motion? Could it get any worse? Why couldn’t he remember you for placing first in last year’s spelling bee? Or for getting the most chocolate’s received on White Day in Class 3-A? Of course, his singular memory of you had to be your most embarrassing high school moment thus far. 
“Okay, you know what? Since you’re awake now, maybe we should just clean,” you said in resignation, trying to change the subject. 
He shook his head. “Don’t wanna.” 
Your eyes widened in surprise. You couldn’t just say you “don’t wanna” do chores the teacher assigned. That was unfair to the other students assigned the clean. In this case— You. 
“You still have to contribute,” you asserted. 
Nagi titled his head back to look lazily up at you. “Why? Would it be mean not to?” 
Your cheeks flushed in embarrassment as he threw your words back in your face. “Yes, exactly! It’s nice to contribute. It’s mean to…not.” 
“How tiresome,” he sighed, finally standing up from his desk. “I don’t want to hurt your feelings again, though. So, okay. Where is the broom?” 
“You don’t know where the broom is?” 
Nagi shook his head. 
“Have you never been assigned to clean before?” you asked, incredulous. 
He shrugged. “Not sure. Maybe. Must’ve slept through it all.” 
“All your years of schooling and you got away with that?” You were appalled. Was this the power of pretty privilege combined with the aura of a strange weirdo? “That’s so unfair to the others who were assigned to clean with you, Nagi! We should help other people out, not ignore them if the task inconveniences you.”
You understood why your friends were so quick to judge you when you told them about your tiny, budding crush on Nagi. He was a peculiar one, after all. But it didn’t seem like he meant any harm. 
“You’re scolding me,” he stated, tone neutral and not accusatory. “That never happpens.”
You drew back, a look of reluctance taking over your face. For someone who spoke about fairness and what is right and wrong with such fervor, you would think the matters were bigger than simply cleaning a silly classroom. “You’re right, I was scolding you, wasn’t I? I’m sorry for being pushy. I have been told I can get a little naggy. Sorry.”
“Ah? Don’t say sorry. It’s fine. I’m just not used to it. But it’s fine.” 
You lifted a brow. “You’re a strange one, Nagi.”
He nodded. 
You made your way to the supply closet where the cleaning supplies were kept, gesturing for him to follow behind you. To your surprise, Nagi actually stood from his desk and followed suit. 
Maybe he just needs some sense talked into him sometimes.
“So here is the supply closet,” you said, opening the door. “The broom is, well, that thing with the long stick handle right there.”
“I know how a broom looks.”
You raised your hands defensively, a teasing grin gracing your lips. “Just checking, that’s all.”
“Hm.”
“And that up there, on the top shelf, is the cleaning spray,” you said, staring up at the bottle. “Now, who in their right mind would put it all the way up there? Did a giant clean the class last?!” You hmphed, trying to reach the cleaning solution so you could finish your class chores as quickly as possible.
Standing on you tippy-toes, you swatted blindly at the shelf, trying to push the items forward so you could have a better chance at reaching what you needed. You felt your fingers moving items around, and you were sure this plan was fool-proof. 
“Hey, I don’t think that’s a good idea. Let me—”
Too late. 
“Oh, no!” you yelped, flinching as you saw a full jug of liquid tipping over the shelf and falling closer to your face. Squeezing your eyes shut, you braced yourself for the impact that never came. 
When you gathered the courage to open your eyes, you saw Nagi’s arms outstretched on either side of your head, grabbing the container of water (that was terrifyingly less than two inches away from your face) with his hands. 
You felt his warm chest against your back— Nagi had to lunge forward in order for you to not get hit, and this was the position you landed yourselves in. You tried hard not to breathe, but the smell of musk and vanilla flooded your senses. He was simply too close for you to ignore. 
Nagi made a small noise—perhaps one of amusement?—and said, “You’re clumsy, aren’t you?”
You didn’t have to read his mind to know he was thinking back to you faceplanting during the sports day relay race. Great, now he had another embarrassing moment for him to remember you by… 
“I’m not clumsy, you just happen to catch me at my bad moments,” you insisted, but there was no fight to your words. As you stared at death (also known as a plastic jug) in the eye, you felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude. “Thank you for saving me.”
He nodded in acknowledgment and you expected him to back away, but his arms stayed on either side of your head. If Nagi didn’t move soon, you weren’t sure how long you would last before you passed out from both his scent and the warmth of his body. 
“Er, you can move now,” you said hesitantly. “I don’t think the jug will hit me anymore…”
“Eh. Too lazy.”
You blinked. “You’d rather stand with your arms upright because you are too lazy to put them back down?”
Nagi sighed, leaning forward until his chin plopped softly on the back of your head. “Yes.”
You jolted upright, eyes widen. Was he just casually leaning on you? This guy really was crazy!
“Nagi!” You shoved him away from you in a panic. He swayed, hardly bothering to catch himself. “You can’t just…do that!”
Placing the container of liquid back on the top shelf, he questioned, “Why? Is it mean?” 
With burning cheeks, you ducked away from his outspread arms, escaping the cramped supply closet. “Well, no. It’s not mean, but you’re in my personal space! And… I guess that can be seen as rude to some people. And— Are you teasing me?!”
You noticed the slightest change in his expression. From 100% blank to 95% blank and 5% amused.
Nagi shrugged in silent admission. That amused expression was enough of a tell.
You groaned, hiding your face behind your hands. “Maybe it was better before you knew of my existence. You can go ahead and forget my name now.”
“Nah.”
You quirked a brow.
“Too bothersome,” he explained. 
“It’s too bothersome to forget a name you didn’t even know ten minutes ago?”
He nodded.
Laughter bubbled out of you as you shook your head in disbelief. “You, Nagi Seishiro, are one of the strangest people I have ever met. Lucky for you, I’m the second strangest person I’ve ever met. So it doesn’t scare me.” 
Nagi grabbed the cleaning spray from the supply closet (he didn’t even need to go on his tip-toes to reach it from the back of the top shelf…) and handed it to you dutifully. 
“You are strange,” he agreed.
“Maybe that means you’ll remember me better.”
“Yeah.”
You smiled at him before finding a clean rag to start wiping down the desk surfaces. “Well, now that we are officially acquainted, you should have lunch with me.”
“Huh? I don’t know…”
You frowned at him. “That’s no way to treat a new friend.”
Nagi lazily swept the same spot over and over again, not bothering to walk around the room. “I don’t like cafeterias. Too loud and annoying.”
“Where do you go for lunch then?”
He pointed up.
“The roof?” you guessed.
“Yes.” 
You tapped your finger to your chin. “Maybe I can join you, then? Just once a week, though. I still want to spend time with my other friends.”
Nagi considered it for a moment before deciding, “Sure.”
“Really?” you asked, not actually expecting him to agree to your whims. You wanted to throw it out there, yes. As weird as he was, Nagi was fun. And you wanted to get closer to him. But you didn’t think he would actually humor you.
“Yeah. Can you bring my lunch those days?”
You almost choked on air in astonishment. “Huh? Nagi, what the heck! You can’t just ask people that when you aren’t close to them yet.”
“Why not?”
“Because…it’s unfair?” you said uncertainly. “I can bring you lunch, but only if you do too. We can take turns!” 
“Sounds like a pain,” he sighed.
“Then deal’s off.”
He signed louder. “Okay, fine.”
“Fine?”
“We can, you know,” he waved his hand around, “take turns.”
You clasped your hands together, beaming in excitement. “Great! You have yourself a deal, then. I’ll see you for lunch on… Let’s say, Fridays?”
Nagi shrugged, sitting down with the broom in hand. “Sure. I’m tired.” 
“Good thing we’re almost done then.”
“Mhm.”
Once you finished wiping down the last desk, you put the cleaning supplies back in their proper places and gave Nagi a thumbs up. He was on the verge of lying his head back down on a desk and falling asleep. You giggled at the sight.
“Save that for your bed, sleepy head,” you chirped, tapping him on the shoulder. “We’re done now! you’re free to go home.”
“Walking home is…so tiresome,” he groaned, but followed you out of the classroom and into the front entrance of the schoolyard.
There was a nice, light breeze greeting you as your face hit the fresh air. The leaves were dancing along as you began to part ways with Nagi.
“I’m going this way,” you stated, pointing to the direction opposite of where he was facing. “So goodbye for now. But I’ll see you tomorrow!”
He lifted his hand in acknowledgement. “Yeah. See you tomorrow.”
Nagi took one step forward before hesitating.
“Need something?” you asked.
“For lunch this Friday…” You waited patiently for him to finish his sentence. “I can bring lemon tea.”
“Tea?” you repeated. “For lunch?”
He nodded. “It’s easy and fast. My go-to meal.”
You attempted to hide the horrified look on your face. Tea as a meal? You began to understand why he asked you to bring him food on the days you were to have lunch with him. Still, you didn’t want to dismiss his efforts. 
“Okay, sure,” you agreed amicably. “You can bring lemon tea, and I can bring egg salad sandwiches. A collaboration!”
Nagis eyes brightened at the sound of that. “Yes, please. Can Friday come sooner?”
You giggled at his newfound eagerness. Food really was the way to someone’s heart, after all.
“It’s only two days away. It’ll come in no time,” you assured. “I hope you make a yummy lemon tea!”
Nagi rubbed the back of his neck. “Well… It’s just hot water and lemon. But I will try.”
For whatever reason, you get the idea that even trying was a lot for him. You couldn’t help but feel just a little bit flattered that Mr. “How Tiresome” was willing to put in some effort for your brand new friendship.
“That’s all that matters,” you said happily. “Now, have a goodnight, Nagi!”
“Night,” he said with a wave. But he still didn’t begin walking away. “Y/N.”
You paused in your steps and turned to face him. “Yes?”
“Can you wear the same perfume you had on today again? I smelled it in the supply closet. You smell good.”
“Huh— Nagi!? You can’t just say—” you cut yourself off. How many times have you said that just this afternoon? It was Nagi after all. He could say whatever he wanted and somehow get away with it. With your cheeks burning, you marched up to him. “Fine,” you scolded poking his chest with your index finger. You tried not to notice just how nice and muscular his chest felt. “You can say that to me. But you can’t just go around saying those things to…other people.” 
Your attempt at intimidation did not faze him. He placed his hand on the top of your head and ruffled it once. “I wouldn’t want to anyway.”
You blinked, speechless. “Wh-What do you mean?” His words were so blunt you might even begin to mistake them as flirting if he wasn’t careful. “Ugh, never mind! Nagi, you are so mean! You’ve been teasing me so much. Why?”
“Because of your reactions. They’re fun.”
“Fun?!” 
The side of Nagi’s mouth quirked up for a fraction of a second before he turned around and began to walk home without a further explanation. “Yeah. Fun. Teasing you is fun. I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N.” 
You groaned in frustration, a smile forming despite yourself. “Okay, Nagi,” you relented. “You are so confusing, you know that? But, it’s fine.”
He let out a small snort. A hint of a laugh, maybe?
“Goodnight for real this time, Nagi. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 
As you began to walk in the opposite direction, you couldn’t help but think of how he really was the strangest guy you’ve met. But for some reason, it just made the butterflies in your stomach flutter around even more. 
Nagi was a bit of a mystery, but you had plenty of time to solve it. And you were certain you’d enjoy every minute of it. 
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linaslivery · 8 months ago
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౨ৎ PLAYING FAVORITES ౨ৎ
masterlist / rules / requests & talks with me!
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SUMMARY౨ৎ Oscar’s daughter has favorites. And sadly, he isn’t one of hers, in fact her favorite happens to be her favorite American, Logan. He says it’s fine and that he doesn’t care… but actions speak louder than words.
PAIRING ౨ৎ Not really a pairing, but reader makes multiple apperances 🩵
WARNINGS ౨ৎ Sadie being a menace
A/N ౨ৎ got requested more sadie, the more sadie you shall receive. i was writing this before the logan news and i’m absolutely distraught. i decided to start from the group up and include logan to feel a bit better hurt ❤️‍🩹
Part of the Dad Oscar mini-series 🩵
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“Sadie, are you ready to see Dad drive fast?” You asked, adjusting her little McLaren cap as I held her hand to the garage.
“No.” Sadie says bluntly in her toddler way, her lips forming a small pout as she clutched the tiny stuffed koala Oscar had bought her from her a year ago from Australia.
You couldn’t help but blink at her straightforwardness, crouching down to be at eye level with her. “No? Not even to cheer him on?”
Sadie shook her head with determination. “No. Wanna see Logan.”
Sadie’s pout deepened, and she hugged her koala closer to her chest. “Logan’s funny.”
“Yes, he is. But you know who else is funny? Daddy. Remember when he made silly faces during breakfast?” You suggested.
Sadie tilted her head, considering this for a moment, before shaking her head again. “Logan’s funnier.”
Before you could respond, you heard footsteps approaching, and there was Oscar, already in his race suit, with a forced grin on his face, clearly overheard the conversation. “Hey, little miss,” he greeted giving a kiss on your cheek before crouching down beside you and holding out his arms for a hug.
Sadie looked at him for a moment, then back at you, before finally deciding to toddle over and give him a quick hug. It was short, sweet, but not as enthusiastic as the ones she usually reserved for Logan recently.
Oscar’s smile faltered for just a second, but he quickly recovered, lifting her up in his arms. “Guess I’ll have to up my game if I want to be the favorite, huh?” he teased, though there was a trace of something more behind his words.
“Daddy’s funny,” Sadie said, almost as if she was trying to console him.
“Yeah?” Oscar’s eyes lit up with hope, but Sadie quickly added, “But Logan’s funnier.”
You winced, but Oscar just laughed it off, giving her a playful tickle. “Well, Logan better watch out then, because I’m coming for his title.”
This was going to be a long day for Oscar.
`· . ୨୧⭒๋࣭ ⭑
The buzz of the McLaren garage was background noise to Oscar as he watched his Sadie, toddle around with a bright smile on her face. It was a year after her first ever Grand Prix… and safe to say you and Oscar have definitely learned a lot from it. Normally, her little smile would make his heart swell with pride, but today, it was bittersweet. The reason? Logan Sargeant was the source of her joy, not him.
Logan, Logan, Logan. that was the name coming out of her mouth the past month.
Sadie had been enamored with Logan since the first time she was born. Who wouldn’t when their godfather was her dad’s best friend who happened to have the same job?
She would light up at the sight of him, smiling at every chance she could excitedly in her toddler way, always eager to be scooped up into his arms. And Logan, the ever-charming American, was more than happy to oblige.
Oscar leaned against the wall, arms crossed, watching as Logan lifted Sadie into the air, eliciting giggles that echoed around the garage. He tried to convince himself that it didn’t bother him. So what if Sadie liked Logan more? It wasn’t a competition. He was her father, not Logan. Surely she likes him more.
Right?
“Hey, mate. You good?” Lando’s voice snapped Oscar out of his thoughts. His teammate had appeared beside him, eyebrow raised in concern.
Oscar forced a smile. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just… thinking.”
Lando followed his gaze to where Logan was now letting Sadie play with his cap, much to her delight. “Looks like someone’s got a new best friend.”
Oscar’s smile faltered slightly. “Yeah… guess she does.”
Lando didn’t miss the hint of disappointment in Oscar’s voice. “You know she still loves you, right? Kids go through phases.”
“I know, I know,” Oscar replied, trying to sound nonchalant as he rolls his eyes. “It’s just… I didn’t think I’d be playing second fiddle to Logan, of all people.”
Lando chuckled. “Well, at least she has good taste. Logan is fun… in his weird American way. Baseball, football, hotdogs and stuff like that. But you’re still her dad… no one can take that from you.”
Oscar nodded, though his eyes were still glued to the scene in front of him. Logan was now teaching Sadie how to high-five, her little hand smacking against his with enthusiasm. The sight should’ve made Oscar laugh, but instead, it made him feel… left out.
“Maybe,” Oscar said quietly, “…but sometimes it feels like I’m just not enough for her.”
Lando looked at him, surprised by the admission. “Oscar, she’s a 2-year-old. It’s not about you being enough or not. She just likes Logan because he’s fun and new. Trust me, when she needs comfort, when she’s upset or scared, it’s you she’ll run to.”
“Did you indirectly call me old and boring?”
“You know what I meant!”
Oscar wanted to believe that, but watching Sadie beam up at Logan made it hard. He knew he was being irrational, that he shouldn’t let a child’s innocent preferences get to him, but the sting was still there.
“…Zak is calling me over.” Lando gave a sigh, running a hand through his hair as he spots the CEO waving a hand over. “Just keep what I said in mind. She loves you Oscar. Sadie’s just happy to see a face she rarely sees. Good luck in quali, yeah?”
Oscar nodded as Lando walked away, but his focus was still on Sadie and Logan. He wasn’t used to feeling like this—jealous of his best friend, of all people. It was silly, really, but he couldn’t shake it.
As the preparations for Qualifications continued, the garage was abuzz with activity. Oscar was trying to get back into the right mindset when he felt a familiar hand on his shoulder.
“You look deep in thought,” You said, coming up beside him with a warm smile.
Oscar turned to her, managing a half-hearted smile. “Just thinking. You know how it is.”
Your eyes followed his gaze to where Sadie and Logan were now playing with a small toy car. “She seems to be having a blast with Logan.”
Oscar sighed. “Yeah, she’s been obsessed with him lately. It’s like I’m invisible.”
Your expression softened. You wrapped an arm around him and gave him a reassuring squeeze. “You’re not invisible, Oscar. Kids can be unpredictable. Logan’s just the new fun thing right now. It doesn’t change how much she loves you.”
Oscar looked at you, the weight of your words hitting him. “I know you’re right. I just hate feeling like I’m second place.”
“Oscar,” You said, lifting his chin with a gentle touch. “Sadie is 2 years-old. I think you need to remember that Sadie’s attachment to Logan doesn’t diminish her love for you. She’s just interested in her godfather she rarely sees. If anything, it just means she’s comfortable with the people around her, and that’s a good thing. Remember how she went from hating everything Lando did in the free practices to loving him at the end of the day? It’s the same thing. You’re her dad, and that’s a role no one else can fill.”
Oscar took a deep breath, letting your words sink in. Your gentle touch and reassuring smile helped ease the knot of insecurity that had settled in his chest. He glanced back at Sadie and Logan, and the sight of his daughter’s unrestrained joy started to warm his heart, even if the jealousy still lingered a bit.
The buzz of the garage continued around you both, and Oscar gave a thoughtful exhale, a much needed one. “Thank you, lovely. I guess I needed that.”
You gave him a soft smile, then glanced over at Sadie. “Logan might be fun for her at the moment, but remember that she’ll always be the one calling you dad.”
Oscar’s lips curved into a grin at your comment.
Yeah. Dad does sound pretty nice.
“Dad!”
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twinklelilstarkey · 7 months ago
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Tutor: Unveil
Words: 9k+ Summary: Here comes another party organized by Rose, meaning you cannot have your parents near people who threaten your peace. You can't even go to the bathroom, for goodness sake! Warnings: Female!Reader. Mentions of secret relationships and hiding things from friends and family (and finally, their consequences). SMUT (MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!! Very quick, literally a quickie, because I am so rusty at smut now. It will include some rough manhandling and clawing at the skin, but nothing too bad). Insults. Slut shaming. A/N.: I'm back!! Please know that I want to keep writing, I really do. But my professors absolutely hate me, because I have so much to do. This is like no other semester. Hope you enjoy this!
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With your hands constantly smoothing down your silk dress, you can’t take your eyes off your reflection. You have touched up your make-up maybe three times since you’ve ‘finished’ getting ready and adjusted the more than adjusted dress for the, hopefully, last time.
You have no idea what it is. You feel weird. You feel nervous. Or maybe just anxious. There is something about going to a party with your parents after everything that has happened that makes you want to crawl into bed and only come out when everything has already happened.
Another sole reason your blood pressure has been sky high lately has to do with the conversation you’ve had with your mother in the car about planning something with ‘the girls’. For the last few days, she always remembered it at the worst moments. You have always found a good enough reason for her to not reach out to Kristy or her mother for said plans, but you’re not so sure that today will be possible to do it, given that they will see each other in person. Your mom and her mom have always been friendly to each other and have always liked each other’s company. They will surely plan something like an evening altogether. That is, of course, if her mother hasn’t heard anything about you yet. She too has never been too enthusiastic with Cameron & Co.
A knock on your bedroom door makes you look over your shoulder, and your father walks in. He gives you a sweet smile once he sees you by the mirror and holds his hand in your direction.
“Got to go. Mom is getting impatient.” He says while you take his hand.
You grab your purse on your way out of the bedroom, reaching for it at the last second as you can already hear your mother pacing around the house. You check the time before reaching her, making sure you are not the reason why she is like that, but, as expected, the scheduled time isn't for another 20 minutes. Therefore, you will get there before everyone else.
Your mother is still pacing when you reach her. She has a cream-colored dress, make-up, and hair done with way too much precision, but the look on her face would be enough to make you run to a mirror again.
“Finally!” she says, waving her arms in the air with a sigh.
Her eyes make sure to look you up and down, and her lack of criticism almost makes you cheer out loud. You know you won’t get a compliment with her bubbling with so much stress, so the fact that she has nothing bad to say about you is enough to let out a breath.
After your mother does her last walk around the house to make sure everything is in her purse and everything is locked, you all start to walk out to get into the car. You reach for your phone when you take your seat at the back of the car, and your father begins to back out of the driveway. The car is in complete silence, just as it usually is.
Now that you are officially done with classes, the graduation ceremony is just days away. Meaning, that not only will you soon be far, far away from certain people without school forcing you to be in their presence, but you also have been bombarded with texts from Patty and Topper, who have shared with you all sorts of ideas for the parties that they will be attending. All those texts are in the weird group chat that you have been added to, but Rafe, much to his confusion, was not.
You smile down at some of the messages and make sure to not leave them on read for too long before answering them quickly. These moments of calmness and smiles don't last too long, given that you get a message from Kristy, making you put down your phone to hopefully not let it mess up with your mood again. But, yet again, you were too late.
The trip to the location of the party is a little over 15 minutes, and you try not to pay any mind to any anxious thoughts after that. Because, maybe, just maybe, there is nothing to worry about. Nothing to be scared of, and no reason to want to lock your parents in a room for the entirety of the night.
It’s fine. Everything is fine. You got this under control.
After some time, and a little traffic, the car finally comes to a stop. Your dad helps you out of the car, and as soon as you all stand outside, you can tell that you were some of the firsts to get there. There are almost no cars in the parking lot, and that would be with counting the workers’ cars too.
Before you can even walk all the way to the front door of the building, Rose has already pushed the door open and smiled to greet you. Rose and your mother exchange the classic two kisses on their cheeks – or better, the air close to their cheeks. A handshake with your father. Yet when she reaches you, she pulls you into a hug. Your mother didn’t seem to be able to look away.
“I am so happy that you could make it,” Rose says to you when you two pull away from the hug. “Seriously, it was so hard making all these teenagers want to go to an event with their families.” She turns to your mother to include her in the conversation with a quick roll of her eyes, but she simply smiles dryly at her. “Anything that just doesn’t include alcohol makes everyone want to stay home, these days.”
“Oh,” your mom exclaims, surprised. “Yes, that is true. Youth, these days. But I do not believe that it would be my little girl’s” and, while still talking, she puts her arm around you in a side hug that is so out of character that it feels nearly comical, “style to do anything like that. These types of events are so much better.”
You offer her a small smile in return, and Rose doesn’t seem to notice how tense everything just seemed to get.
The two women begin a conversation in front of you not too long after. They talk about how good you did in your finals and even how Wheezie was so good in hers. All due to your hard work, of course. They talked and talked, and your mother’s arm did, eventually, come down back to her side. You walk over to stand by your dad as they continue their discussion, all while everyone still stands by the door.
“Is your whole family here, already?” Your mother asks her, making your ears perk up.
“Except for Ward, yes. He had to leave to get something at home. But the kids are all here. Well, except for Rafe, of course,” she chuckles dryly, “He’ll get here in his own time.” Rose says with a shrug before turning back to you and offering you a smile, “And I do believe some of your friends from school have gotten here as well.”
Great.
You fake a smile of excitement, and Rose takes that as her ticket to take you all inside the building. The warm breeze from outside is quickly substituted by the cold AC as soon as you get in, and, only after a few hallways, do you step into the massive room of tonight’s event. One with a tall ceiling and a wall made of windows, all of them facing the sea not too far from the building’s garden in the back. One of the windows is open and some people stand outside, some of them smoking, while others just enjoy the view while talking.
Even so, the room is quite empty. The ones inside stand on the sides and corners of the room, but, due to its size, the room feels empty still.
Your eyes scan the room, looking at each person carefully, trying to see how much damage could be made in the first few minutes already.
A little polite conversation later, Rose steps away with a soft ‘talk to you later’. Having looked around enough, relief washes over you when you notice that the friends that she had mentioned had only been one of the girls and some somewhat known faces from school. Nothing like Kristy, or the rest of the group. You know they won't do a thing when alone, that is, of course, if they aren't Kristy.
Your parents walk over to the table with the drinks, and you follow them, only listening to their conversations to keep you entertained.
The room is indeed fabulously decorated. The walls are decorated with amazing and grand pieces of art. Certainly replicas of sorts, expensive looking, nonetheless. Rose, as she tends to do, filled the room with all sorts of flowers and large tables with white tablecloths and glass dishware. At some tables, there are all sorts of mocktails, juices, and fancy herbal and fruitful waters. Other tables have food with all sorts of snacks, which the younger family members seem to have no shame in already having their fill.
You can see the people out in the garden from the drinks table. You can see Wheezie out with her friends, as well as Sarah being annoyed by Topper, who is beginning to be pulled away by one of her friends. They all are dressed formally. Wheezie in soft pink and Sarah in yellow. You look over to check on Rose which is in a light purple. What kind of color would they make Rafe wear?
You smile down at your own thoughts and hide it by looking around, purposefully ignoring a stare from a family that you do not want to interact with – the only girl and her parents, who might as well just call you a devil from where they stand in the room, given the distaste in their faces.
By the time an hour passes, you notice how slowly time goes by. You sure are in for a night.
(…)
It has been three hours, and you've finally decided that you need to walk away from your parents. You have shaken so many hands of coworkers and possible business partners of both your parents, that your mind has begun to blur their faces into one ever since you’ve met the seventh person. Their conversations have been about business and sales, and you swear that if you hear any sort of vocabulary from their field again, you will begin to rip your hair out in chunks.
So, a walk it is.
Your heels click on the tiled floors as you look for a bathroom. No one is in the hallways, most people just stay in the main room or the outside, where younger socialization is seemingly kept. None which you’ll be able to make today, for the looks of it.
You have thought about talking to someone other than your parents, but the possibility of it upsetting them, given your new crowd, always made you take a step back. There aren’t many people you could speak to. Rafe’s friends, who have naturally become yours too, have all gotten here in the last hour. Most who noticed gave you a simple wave, which you could only nod to because you knew you couldn’t be caught waving at Topper Thorthon by your own mother. You might as well just walk right back into the room nude, and you’ll get the same reaction - in other words, complete horror. Patty, on the other hand, had walked over to you to greet you as she normally would, with a hug, and that sparked the curiosity of your mother a bit too much. That is, of course, because she has no idea who she is.
Other sorts of company, also known as your past best friends, have also gotten here, and each time you notice them walking in the room, you would simply spark a conversation with your parents so they wouldn’t look at the newcomer. But you know it, you’re running out of things to talk about. Especially since some of the girls haven’t gone outside and are still standing by their parents, talking amongst themselves. One is easy to hide from your parents, but a group, not so much. The idea of them already talking to them is making chills run down your spine.
Truly, the only thing keeping you sane is the fact that Kristy hasn't arrived. Therefore, there is nothing that can truly hurt you while she isn't here... right?
You walk through the hallways, letting out a sigh, still looking for a more distant bathroom that doesn’t have a line of women you could possibly very well know at the door.
After looking at many lines, you decide to try upstairs instead, because, realistically, you will need at least five minutes of silence in that room to get back into the right mentality to handle the rest of the night, and you will not be able to do that with a group of women ready to break down a door and run in to pee.
You begin to walk towards the front of the building, where you spot even more people who have begun to arrive at the party and are following Rose as she continues to be her pleasant self to her guests. You spot the two big staircases at the front, and you grab onto the railing before beginning to go up.
Suddenly, a whistle echoes down the hallways and up your staircase and you freeze.
“The party is down here, miss.” The voice says.
If only you hadn’t recognized it, you would’ve actually listened to the observation and made your way down the staircase, hiding your embarrassment and complete horror of being caught. But the fact that you did recognize it only made you want to throw a shoe at your boyfriend for scaring you the way he did.
“What am I, a dog, for you to be whistling at?” You say while turning around to face him, while he stands by the front door, meters away from you and down a few steps.
Rafe tilts his head up at you, and you know the comment is eating at him. You're teasing him. You smile as you see him peek into the hallway Rose disappeared into, and you can’t help but let out a shriek when he starts running up the steps to grab you.
Rose must already be on her way back to the door to welcome the new family coming inside, and you have her stepson ready to tackle you to the ground, so you have double the motivation to grab onto your dress and the railing and try to get away from your man.
You laugh your way up the stairs, but you don’t even get to the last step before he’s able to grab onto you. Now, do you think it was a fair fight? With you in heels and a long dress? Absolutely not, and you make sure to let him know that as he casually puts you over his shoulder and gets you both off the stairs - all while basically making you think you’re going to die for being upside down on the last step. You have screamed twice since he's gotten here. Rose would kill you if she knew.
“Please put me down.” You say, defeated and seriously out of breath from both running and laughing.
You know that Rose must have heard the both of you, you just hope she doesn’t know it is you who was just laughing hysterically. You’re sure she heard the damned loud whistle and rolled her eyes to the back of her head in response, knowing very well whose it was – the only son that is almost 4 hours late to a party his own family is organizing. And now that same man is kidnapping a girl into the upper floor, how nice. You wouldn't blame her if she stopped inviting him. Not at all.
Halfway through a hallway and during your millionth plea, Rafe finally puts you down, making your hair fall in all sorts of directions over your face, getting a genuine laugh out of him. Your hands begin to try and smooth down the strands back into their original place, but Rafe continues to smile down at you.
“Don’t you look beautiful today, baby?” He says in a dramatic tone, making your hands stop working through your mess of hair and giving him a glare, which in his eyes seems more like a pout.
Taking pity on you, Rafe helps you with your hair to the best of his ability, and you begin to look around for a bathroom.
Leaving Rafe behind and knowing fully well that he will follow you without hesitation, you walk over to a door that, thankfully, is unlocked, and the room is empty. Rafe walks in with you, and you only let out a breath when you hear close the door behind him.
Rafe watches you through the reflection as you fix your hair further and then check on your makeup. It takes quite a few moments of silence before you turn and lean back on the counter. With your back to the mirror, and the temperature of the cold stone going through the fabric of your dress, Rafe steps in front of you, and the warmth of his hands on your hips adds a nice contrast.
You look up at him, analyzing his face, but you notice how he leans in for a kiss, making you turn your head at the last second, forcing him to lay a kiss on the corner of your mouth instead.
“I have lipstick on.” You whisper at him, “Don’t you dare ruin it.”
“I would never.” He whispers back but kisses your cheek again instead and then continues to go down your jaw, neck, and then shoulder.
You fight the urge to close your eyes to the feeling of his lips and look at him while he moves, you haven’t taken a good look at him yet. He looks good, like he always does, in a dark blue suit with no tie and a pristine white dress shirt underneath, his hand has his usual gold ring, and his buzzcut looks just made.
“We’re matching.” You tell him, a smile more than evident in your voice, making him raise his head up to look at you. “Why blue?”
“Ask Sarah, she was the one that chose my suit.” He says, creating a slightly bigger distance between your faces.
You lay your hands over his shoulders, but they eventually find their way to his cheeks. Your thumbs caress his skin, and he continues to stare down at your face.
“You look really handsome tonight.” You whisper to him again.
“I do?” He asks, and you nod, making him lean into you again, threatening to ruin your lipstick yet again.
“And incredibly needy too.”
Even Rafe couldn’t hold in his chuckle at your observation.
“Someone ignored my texts for-”
“We texted this morning, Rafe!” You say a little louder this time, with a smile that almost made Rafe’s heart jump out of his chest. “Since when did you become such a sappy boyfriend?”
Rafe did not even have to say a single word, the expression on his face of complete repulse for your choice of adjective is enough to make you smile widely at him. He sends you a glare as a response which only makes you laugh harder. Your hands come down to his shoulders again, and you give him a kiss on his cheek before leaning away from the counter.
“I have to go back down soon.” You tell him.
Rafe leans in closer to you, his hands forcing your body glued to his, making you lose all idea of cold from before. You are warm all over. “Why?”
“My parents are here, can’t have them talk to a certain someone just yet.”
Rafe doesn’t answer out loud, he just continues to look through your face, deep in thought. You watch him as he does it, memorizing every inch of his skin in return. Rafe had noticed your mood while watching you walk the hallway downstairs. You are deep in thought and visibly buzzing with anxiety. Knowing now that the root of all your problems is just a floor down from yours, makes a lot more sense than whatever he had thought of.
“They’re here?” You only nod, kissing his jaw and pulling back to look him in the eyes, “Have they said anything?”
“Not a single thing, only stared for a while.” Rafe pulls you impossibly closer to him, and you let him. “They might already be doing it right now.”
“Why did you leave?”
“I was driving myself insane. Had to talk to way too many people, and I can’t even remember a single name.” Rafe grins at your words, but you sigh before continuing, “I want to go home already.”
“But the party just started.”
You roll your eyes at him and his audacity, and he smiles down at you. Your lips crack a small grin too, and you feel one of his warm hands move from your back to your hip, squeezing it through the thin fabric and holding onto you tightly. Your entire body sizzles at his touch, and you lean closer, completely forgetting your own promise to not smudge your lipstick.
“We shouldn’t.” You whisper against his mouth.
“We really shouldn’t,” Rafe emphasizes with a shake of his head and a big smile, but that is just before he closes the gap between the two of you. Your lips touch, and your hands smooth over to his head, smoothing over his short hair.
Rafe lifts you up to the counter and pulls your dress upwards to your waist to help him stand between your legs with the slit of the fabric. You sigh against his lips at his touch over your smooth thighs, and, under the dress, Rafe grips onto your skin and pulls you directly into his hips, making you moan against his mouth.
His hands look for a certain piece of fabric, your panties, under your dress as he pulls you against him, but all he feels is skin. He brings his hand up and grips your face with the same force as he did your hips, thumb digging into your cheek as he held your jaw.
He pulls you back, noticing just a slight smudge of your lipstick, and you smile maliciously at him, knowing exactly why he’s behaving the way he is. He lets out a dry laugh, not finding any sort of humor like you did, and kisses you a single time before whispering directly into your lips, “You’re such a—”
“Panty lines, Rafe, panty lines!” You interrupt him without being able to contain your smile.
Your lips melt into a kiss again, more aggressive this time due to Rafe’s discovery, and you can’t help but continue to smile into the kiss, moving your shoulders until you feel the dress’ strap slide down your skin. Rafe’s hands slide from your jaw to your neck, and your hands slide down his torso all the way to his belt, currently almost glued to you too because of how tightly Rafe holds you to him.
You pull his belt to get him closer to you and finally pull at the buckle to undo it. Rafe’s hands let you go for a second, he undoes the buttons of his dress shirt, only separating your lips for those seconds and coming back to you.
You finish undoing his belt and move onto the button and zipper, while Rafe’s hands move back to hold your hips. Rafe groans against your mouth, and you grab onto his boxers, dragging your nail over the elastic band. You smile at the way he responds, pulling you roughly towards him and grabbing onto your skin as if it’s his lifeline.
Your hands pull his clothing down, and Rafe is quick to lift a hand and push yours away from him. Your lips don’t separate through it all, and Rafe brings his hand in between your legs. His touch immediately rips a reaction out of you, making you moan louder against his lips while your back stretches with pleasure.
Rafe’s fingers drag from your clit to your entrance, not ever stimulating you on purpose, just moving so, so slow that you consider biting him in response. You turn your head to break the kiss, and Rafe just continues kissing down your jaw and neck, as if unphased. Your breathing is heavy, and your heart is beginning to seem to want to beat out of your chest, but your lips are only able to whisper a single plea, “Rafe, please, we have to be quick.”
“Please, what?” He teases like he always does.
You groan, naturally, and he smiles, “Please, Rafe, just fuck me”
In response to your words, Rafe did not hold back. He glues back your lips to his, and the finger over your clit pulls away, leaving you cold and waiting. His hand goes back to your hip to hold you in the exact position he wants you in, and, right after pulling his hand away again, you just feel his dick lining up with your entrance and sliding into you.
The sensation almost feels like too much, making you pull away from the kiss and bring your hands to his shoulders. Your hands hold onto his skin, underneath the opened suit, and Rafe groans at the feeling of your nails on his skin. He doesn’t move, once he’s able to slide entirely into you, and all you hear for those seconds of no movement is both of your elaborate breathings.
Rafe breaks the silence, “Fuck, you feel so good.” making you chuckle and pull him into a kiss.
As soon as he begins to move, you almost feel as if your body is not your own. The pleasure is too much, and you can’t help but pull Rafe closer to you. His movements are steady and slow at first, but, at this moment, it almost feels like enough. Something about being worried and anxious throughout the night made you feel as if your body is now overly sensitive to everything that Rafe touches.
Your moans aren’t words, just whimpers and sounds of pleasure, never too loud and even sometimes a whisper. Rafe looks down at you, as one of his hands moves to wrap his arm around your back to support your body close to his. Your hair looks perfect again, and your lips only have a slight smudge at a corner, almost unnoticeable. One of your dress’ straps has slid off your shoulder, making his half-closed eyes stare at your jiggling flesh. He pulls you in closer and speeds up ever so slightly, letting the sound of skin slapping and your wet pussy fill his ears and consume him.
You lean your forehead on his shoulder, as one of your hands slides out of his suit and wraps around his bicep. His cock, moving back and forth, his tight hold on your body, your naked chest now glued to his, it seems like too much for you to even open your eyes. It is as if flames consume your body, from your legs to your head, centering around your stomach. It burns at your insides, and all you can think of is how good it feels.
You know you have to be quick about it. Your biggest worries are just a few steps away, so possibly able to find you and what you’re doing, bringing to absolute ruin. But, now, you can't bring yourself to care. And especially not when Rafe moves to grab onto your face and brings your lips to his, making your mind go fuzzy, and your heart flip with love and pleasure for this man.
The kiss starts with form, but it loses it within seconds with some of your moans and Rafe’s groans. Both of you are lost, and getting worse with each stroke and each kiss. You have obviously gotten wetter, you both can hear it, and Rafe can’t help but reach underneath your dress to touch you.
You let out a gasp, which turns into a moan when he touches your clit, and he simply holds your face in place, unwrapping his arm from your body. Your hands reach to hold onto the counter of the bathroom, and the cold stone bites at your skin once you touch it.
Rafe kisses you slowly one last time and lets go of your face before he speeds up his thrusts a last time, making his movements fast and rough, but sloppy. Yet you swear that you have never felt better. His cock reaches deep into you and with each stroke, it touches where it should. His finger slides with ease over your swollen clit, and your pussy squeezes him in response to all of it.
Rafe’s fist closes with all its might as he keeps going and you moan his name, close to his ear. Both of you are beginning to break your first sweat as the peak of your pleasure gets closer and closer. You can almost taste it. Rafe pulls you back to him, maybe a bit too forcefully, but you couldn't care less. You moan into his skin as he gets you closer and closer to your orgasm, and your hands claw at his skin for it.
He leans in close to your ear and whispers, “Come on, baby, come for me.”
After just another two thrusts, you sob out a moan into his neck and Rafe puts your mouth to his in a kiss. Your hands reach for his face, even while still reacting to your too-powerful orgasm, and he follows you right after, pounding into you with a force you know will leave you sore, but for a cost that you could accept any day.
As both your heart rates slow down and your breathing calms, your mouths go back into a normal kiss, your usual slow and loving. Rafe wraps both of his arms around you, pulling your flesh impossibly closer to his, and you relax close to him, ignoring what could possibly await downstairs.
(…)
It took you embarrassingly long to fix your makeup before you got down the stairs with Rafe. No one is walking in anymore, which can only mean that it is finally late enough for anyone else to come in fashionably late.
Your heels click as you walk a little too fast due to your anxiety, Rafe stays a little behind, letting you in the room before he does. You push the door open, and the sound of all the conversations around the room hits you all at once. You look over at Rafe before you walk in, and he nods at you to go.
You walk through a few groups of people and look over at where you left your parents, only to find them in the same place - your father just a few steps behind. You fight the urge to smile a bit and begin to walk towards them, but your legs stop moving when noticing Kristy with her arm crossed with your mother, as her mother stands right next to her too.
All three of them are in a deep conversation, but smiles are all around, which only soothes your soul a slight bit.
Kristy’s mother, Natasha, is another type of woman entirely. In all the years of your friendship, you had only seen her a few times, always out in business. She is a hauntingly beautiful woman. And, yes, even after so many years, you too are scared of her, while your mother never seems to get enough of her.
“Oh, there you are!” Your mother says, noticing you right away. You walk closer to them, trying to hide how stiff your body feels due to the adrenaline coursing through you, “Are you feeling alright? You were gone for a bit.”
“Yeah, just a stomachache, I think.” You tell her, “But I’m feeling much better now.”
“Do you think it’s something you could’ve eaten?” She asks, and your eyes move over to Kristy who is obviously staring at you, hard.
“Maybe.” You shrug at your mom, ready to change the topic of conversation.
“I told you to put the leftovers in the fridge yesterday, but, no, you just had to do it when you felt like it, right, missy?” She teases, looking over at Natasha to make her join in on the motherly teasing session.
But, when you look over at her, you would have to be blind to not notice the way she is looking at you. Different from the way she used to, which could only mean one thing.
“Oh,” She plays along, hiding her staring slightly better, this time. “Kristy is just the same, you know? Always does things on her own time, no matter what I tell her.”
Kristy would’ve rolled her eyes at her mother’s words if she wasn’t occupied staring at someone in the distance. Her silence was so out of character that you weren’t the only one to notice her distraction, because your mother looked faster, and her mouth followed at light speed.
“How can a son arrive so late to an event organized by his own family? A shame, really.” You tense further as she shakes her head.
Kristy tenses too at her words, quickly looking away and down at her feet for a few seconds in shame. Having had enough of her shit, you can't help but continue to glare at her.
Your mother, oblivious, does not notice the tension building up, but you’re thankful for that as she keeps herself busy by bad-mouthing your boyfriend instead.
“No surprise that Rose doesn’t bring him to so many of her parties,” She says, “I would do the same.”
“What a disgrace of a boy...” Natasha says but while directly facing you, almost as if trying to talk to you about him. “Do you know him?”
“What?” You ask her, trying to hold back your defensive tone.
“Rafe Cameron,” She reminds you, “Do you know him?”
Your mother looks at you, intrigued by the conversation. “Oh, no, not at all.” She answers for you.
“Are you sure?” Natasha asks you with a dip of her chin, making Kristy turn her head to her in shock. “He’s not too far from your age.”
“A year.” You tell her, and she nods, beginning to grin at your response. Your mother looks at you in interest but, of course, nothing malicious is crossing her mind, “I’ve talked to him before, yes.”
You can come to very much regret saying such a thing in a few seconds but, at the end of the day, if you ever want your mom to know of your relationship, she better start warming up to the idea that you at least know the guy.
“You have?” Your mother’s interest could not have been more peaked.
“Yeah,” You nod, noticing that Kristy’s shocked eyes have now come to face you too, “Not as bad as everyone says.” You shrug.
“Really?” Natasha asks, humor thick in her voice, but you ignore it and simply nod. “Oh, I’ve heard the opposite, that he and his friends are an absolute horror to talk to. Very rude, weren’t they, Kristy?”
Kristy’s eyes almost pop out of her head once her mother mentions her name and her experiences.
“Oh-oh, uhm…” She hesitates, making your mom almost want to shake her to spit it out. “I didn’t have the greatest conversations, no.”
“How come?” Your mom pressures her, pulling at their crossed arms, urging her to tell all, but Kristy is nowhere near ready to let it out.
“Just some parties, you know.” She shrugs, “He must have been drunk a few of those times, so he wasn’t the nicest.”
“What kind of things did he say to you?” Your mom asks.
“Oh, not to me. But my friends, for example… One day, they were looking for someone.” You fight the urge to punch her, this time, “And asked him- because he is… friends... with her.” She takes a deep breath, “They asked him about her, but he just told them to ‘f’ off and all that.”
“Who were they looking for again, sweetheart? His girlfriend, was it?” Her mother asks, only looking at her daughter in fake curiosity.
Your mother could not even contain her shock, letting out a gasp so loud that some people around you turned to look at her. You, on the other hand, feel as if someone had just thrown you into an iced lake. “He has a girlfriend?!”
“Oh, yes, he does.” Natasha says, “Quite a shock to me too when I heard.”
“Do you happen to know who it is?” She says, leaning in as if to know a secret.
You physically butt in by putting your hand in between them, stopping Natasha from opening her mouth any further and making the two of them look at you.
“It’s his private life, we shouldn’t talk about it.” You say, with a tone so serious that it made your mom notice some of the attention you all were gathering around you.
She smiles at the people, who turn away right after, and, with a lower tone of voice, she says, “Oh, honey, please. That boy has never been private a day in his life.” Your mother insists, “It’s nice of you to try and be civil but with Rafe Cameron?”
“You’re not being fair, mom.” You tell her, letting her continue to think of you as just a nice person trying not to dirty her pure and innocent ears with gossip. “You don’t know him.” You look at the other two women.
Kristy listens to your words and notices her mother’s silence. She did not expect her mother to try and provoke you as much as she did, but Kristy can only blame herself for that. She shouldn’t have told her everything she knew, but it had been a bad day, and she thought she could trust her mother to stay quiet. After all, she had always seemed to like you. Yet, there was something about your words just now that sounded like they were meant for her too.
After all, you were defending Rafe from her. Again.
“You know him that well?” Kristy asks you, after the seconds of silence – and delusion from you, since you thought it had been enough to calm down the conversation and delay it for another time.
You look at her with eyes that could only mean two things to any onlooker, either that you were offended by her words or the complete opposite, that you were pleading with her to just stop whatever she and her mother were doing.
“I wouldn’t say that well.” You say, slowly, trying to measure your every word, so it wouldn’t lead to any misunderstandings. “But I have talked to him and seen him a lot of times. I’m at his home for a lot of hours, remember?”
“That’s right, you tutor the Wheezie girl.” Your mother suddenly remembers, “But, the rumors about him can’t be all that big of a lie. So many people tell them. A new one each week.”
“But... Like you just heard, he just got himself a girlfriend. Even you were surprised.” She nods, not understanding where you’re going with this. “If he can get himself a girl to date after all the rumors about him, maybe he’s not that bad.” You shrug.
You continue to look at your mom, in silence, watching as she slowly bites the bait towards a more open-minded and not-so-horrible mental image of Rafe, but you watch it all burn down in front of your eyes, right as Kristy starts to speak.
“That really depends on what type of girl you imagine him dating,” She says with a chuckle as if finding what you said cute or amusing. Deep down she is boiling in anger with the way you dodge every question with ease, like you've been hiding for so long, you already became accustomed to it all. “You’re imagining him with a well-mannered girl, about his age, a great student, and with great friends that can only be a good influence on him—”
“Kristy,” You warn her.
“But the reality is that we don’t know who the girl is.” She continues in a tone that not even a saint would believe to be truthful, “His girlfriend can very much be like any other slut. Someone who can only match his energy, someone who can only ruin herself further than she has already ruined.”
She looks you in the eyes as she says those exact words, fueled with rage after hearing you say all those things about how everyone just misunderstands Rafe.
“That is…” Your mother says and hesitates, not loving the words used to describe the hypothetical girl just now.
“What’s wrong?” Kristy asks you, not even hiding her tone this time, “Stomachache, again?”
Your breathing is uncontrollable, and your heart is beating rapidly. You’re not sure if it’s adrenaline, anger, heartbreak, anxiety, or everything all at once. All of what is being unsaid is being left in the air, like a toxic cloud, which everyone just watches you seem to be the only one in the conversation to be able to breathe it in.
“Something like that.” You say with gritted teeth with a short smile.
Your mother’s face twists with worry and Rafe is quickly forgotten. She turns to you, but you can’t take your eyes off the two women who appear to be practically orgasming with how they are loving to threaten to ruin your life with casual banter.
“We can go ask Rose if she has something for a stomachache, honey, would you like me to do that?” You don’t answer but try to shake your head, which goes unnoticed. “Or maybe in our car, maybe I have something for you to take.”
“I’m fine, mom, really.”
“What’s happening over here?” You hear your father’s worried voice behind you, which makes you turn to face him.
“She’s feeling sick—” Your mom tries to tell him.
“Sick? Did you eat something you shouldn’t?” He asks you, “Was it those leftovers? Honey, we’ve told you that you should put them in the fridge—”
“You should tell them the truth,” A voice interrupts your father, making you look at the two women again, your heart now at your stomach making you even more nauseous.
“What?” Your mother asks with pure confusion over her features, “What are you talking about?”
You look at the two mothers, both looking at each other, one with a know-it-all look, while the other is lost in absolute confusion.
“If it was my Kristy, I would’ve wanted her to tell me everything since day one.” She says, facing me again.
“Shut the fuck up.” You say to her, your volume low so as to not get any attention from anyone outside of this conversation, but your mother’s gasp might have gotten some looks right after, again.
“Apologize!” Your mother says to you, “You cannot speak to her this way, she’s your friend’s—”
“No,” Kristy says, only making your mother’s frown deepen. “Actually, you might not even know but we haven’t been friends for quite a few weeks, isn’t that right?” She smiles at you.
“What?” Your father asks, shocked to know that the once inseparable childhood best friends are no more.
“Tell them.” She tells you, making your eyes water, from anger, embarrassment, or complete horror that this is finally happening, but you fight the tears. “They deserve to know.”
You bite the inside of your cheek to hold in your need to gasp for a sob that you are holding in.
“Could either of you two just tell us what is going on, already?” Your father asks, leaning his hand on your back to try and offer you comfort, but his touch only repulses you, given what you are being forced to say.
Your panic rises as you’re unable to scream hysterically at the women in front of you to just disappear and mind their own business due to how many people surround you. How many of your parents’ friends and coworkers surround you, and how you would just embarrass them if you even dared to say half of what this woman and her daughter deserve to hear.
“Maybe we should go home,” You tell your dad, “I’m not feeling good.”
Your mother can’t even help but look at the two women in front of you sideways. She has known the women for years and has never seen them behave the way that they are behaving. But, again, she also has known you since you were born. You’re half of her. And she hasn’t seen you talk or act the way you are, right now.
“What is it that she’s talking about, honey?” Your mother pulls at you, worried but frightened too with what could be about to come out of your mouth.
“Let’s just go.” You tell your mom, feeling your entire burn in horror. They will know everything after today. There is no other way around it. “I'll tell you at home, please.”
Kristy's mother speaks again. “Just say it.”
She opens her mouth, but you make sure to speak over her, “You don’t know nothing about me or my life, you have no right—”
“Just like I don’t know your boyfriend, right?” She asks, and everything around you goes silent, “There... See? Not so hard.”
“Wha-what? What do you mean by that?” Your mom says, taking a step closer to her, hoping that she had misheard her.
Natasha does a short smile at your mother, and your father, having not been present during the past conversation, simply brushes his hand up and down on your back. He still does not understand a single thing of what they are saying, but he is worried about you.
No one says another word, and Natasha and her daughter walk out of the conversation. You recoil from your father’s touch and take a step back from both of your parents. Your breathing is beginning to sound strange to you, and your skin feels too hot to the touch even though chills run down your body. Your heart is breaking and being ripped out at the same time, and the world has begun to lose its center of gravity because it is suddenly too hard to stand.
Your mother continues to stand a step away from you, not moving, thinking to herself about how she and her own mind can be wrong. How this is not her reality, and how when she turns to face you, she will find you and Kristy, still as best friends, laughing at her face for being so dumb to even believe all of this. But she doesn’t. She turns, and she finds you pulling away from your father and walking away, ready to get out of the building.
She stands there, watching you walk out of the room, and notices that Kristy is following right behind. She can’t move or speak for a few seconds. Her husband stands beside her, asking her what the hell is going on, and in the corner of her eye, she sees him. She turns her head to him and watches him, with his blue suit just like her daughter’s dress and hair cut short. He has a charming smile on his face as he speaks to a group of men with his father on his side. He is acting unbothered and calm like he always does in these events.
As her heart continues to pound, her husband follows her eyes and stares confusingly at Rafe Cameron, trying to decipher what could be going on, but to no avail.
You forcefully clean your tears with your shaking hands and walk quickly down the hall towards the door to the outside. Right next to the door, you notice three people talking, but before you can even get close to them, a voice stops you.
“I didn’t mean for this to be like this,” Kristy says to you, and your blood boils at the sound of her voice,
“Oh, fuck you.” You exhale out the words at her, knowing the people in the room of the event won’t hear a thing, turning to face her. “You and your mother knew exactly what you were doing.”
“I didn’t want it to be today.” She shakes her head, not exactly sure what she should say to you first, “I just thought that your parents deserved the truth.”
“Oh my god, Kristy, shut up! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP with your 'could do no evil' attitude!! No one asked you for anything! I was going to tell my parents when it was safe for me to do so.” You try to hold in your tears, even when you know you have every right to cry, “You bitch, I probably don’t even have a house to live in right now, and all you care about is how you could justify your own stupid actions? Fuck you!” You try to turn to walk away again.
“I—” She tries to walk with you.
“No! Stop!” You tell her, holding out your hand, “You have said and done enough today, Kristy. I do not want to ever see you again. I will never forgive you for anything that you and your mother have done today.” You can’t even hold yourself back from both continuing and letting out some tears, “I am an adult, I have been an adult this entire time. I choose my own relationships, and you have nothing to do with it.”
“You know that is not why I don’t approve…”
“Exactly! Because I don’t need you to approve, Kristy. You are not my mother and you sure as hell aren’t my friend anymore. Your approval means absolutely nothing to me, right now. Maybe before you fucked up, absolutely, that is why I didn’t say anything before, but now?” You run your hands through your hair in frustration as you snicker at your own words, “And you called me a slut, for Christ’s sake. In front of my own fucking mother.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
“I don’t give a shit, Kristy!” You wave your arms in the air for emphasis, “I do not give a single shit about what you meant or even still want to mean. You have officially and royally fucked me for life, and you think you have the right to run after me?” You ask as you angrily wipe away your tears.
Kristy bites down her tongue and looks at you, “I just don’t understand how you think that what I did was so wrong. I get it, I should’ve let you have the conversation with your parents at your own time, but also look at my side. Why did you hide him? If he is so great, as you say, why did you hide him from us? From me?” She pauses, “We were best friends. I only wanted what was best for you. Of course, I wouldn’t like to hear that you were with him, but I would’ve still preferred to have you tell me the truth.” You turn your back to her and start walking again, “That is why I will never understand this relationship.”
“Do you really want to know, Kristy?” You say out loud, turning to face her again, noticing how she hasn’t moved closer, “Because it was fun. In the beginning, all of this was for fun. I had fun with him. I felt like I could do whatever the hell I wanted with my life without anyone judging me or thinking less of me. And it was a secret because it was all there was to it: fun! And, after everything, he was nice to me, and he was gentle with me.” You take a breath, “And since that moment on, I gave him more of me and, even when he royally fucked up too, he made sure to make up for it and stay by me.”
Kristy opens her mouth to twist your words, but you don’t let her.
“And before you even say. I do not give a shit if he drinks or if he fights, or if he does fucking coke every single day in his life, you know why? Because at the end of the day, he will come back to me and love me, and let me love him like he deserves to be loved.” You sniffle, “Rafe has not mistreated me a day in his life. He takes care of me, and he loves me, and that is all I could ever ask of him… And the fact that you couldn’t even try and get to know him- It really shows who I must choose to include in my life from now on.”
You take a breath and hear the door to the event open again, so you decide to end the conversation.
“Goodbye, Kristy.”
You turn again and walk over to the front door. When you walk closer, you notice that the three people who used to stand by the door have stopped talking, pretty sure right after you started screaming. You almost apologize as you walk past them, but you notice that one of them is Rose. You almost freeze once you realize that now she too knew of your relationship with Rafe, but your body is too locked into the idea of getting the hell out of there, so you simply look away and walk right off into the cold night’s breeze.
What the fuck are you going to do now?
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I finally did it! I honestly believe that this was the hardest chapter to edit. Everything just felt so cartoonishly evil, I hated it and had to basically rewrite it. I was so stressed, I really wanted it to be good. Hopefully, it was worth the wait!!
If you're wondering where I've been or if I'm okay, I'm more than okay. I'm just really busy with uni since my professors seem to hate me, and I had no inspiration for the entirety of my summer vacation. So, now, when my life is at the peak of stress, I decided to post this (just to add more stress, but anyway).
I really hope you enjoyed this! I am so sorry that it took me this long <3
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live-laugh-lenney · 26 days ago
Note
hi love! I’m obsessed with the way you write🤍 just wanted to make a little request if that’s okay! (Totally optional) I just had in mind how sweet and romantic it would be if George was having a terrible day (for any reason) and he’s down and gloomy about it, but the reader (a friend of his) takes care of him and makes sure he’s okay and long story short they fall in love and end up doing it on his couch while Arthur and Chris are away. I was honestly just craving something soppy, sweet and smuttyyyy 🤍🤍
summary; george has had a bad day and yn tries to cheer him up... with a house to themselves, anything was on the cards.
word count; 4.6k.
** warnings; smut (almost from the beginning), unprotected sex, female-receiving oral, sickening fluff and confessions towards the end, MINORS DNI **
so this was going to be something that was going to be short and quick but... well... it's ended up being quite long and i'm really pleased with how it turned out. it's been a few weeks in the making (ever since the prompt came in) and i hope i've done it some justice because i think the friends-to-lovers trope has to be one of my favourite stories to write... it turned out a little different to what was written as the prompt but i hope i managed to, at least, follow it to some degree. i have so much going on right now, in terms of writing, that i'm all over the place and have no schedule to which i'm following but i'm really in deep with my george feels right now and i'm desperate to get as much stuff out for him as possible to feed into the feelings. let me know what you think! enjoy! x
"what's the long face for?"
"huh?"
she pokes at his cheek with her finger in an attempt to entice a smile from him, one of his teeth-bearing grins that had his eyes crinkle up from amusement, but her hand is met with a gentle shove. pushing her arm away from his face, her fingertip lingering in the air, and yn can't help but roll her eyes at how he must been feeling sorry for himself over something silly that had happened.
"you're being a proper grump today, aren't you?"
"m'not," he folds his arms over his chest and focuses on the telly that was playing an old episode of doctor who, something he would only watch when he needed to forget about a tough day and wanted some comfort in a tv show he had already watched, "i'm not grumpy."
"tell that to your face then."
he rolls his eyes heavily.
truth be told, he was grumpy and he knew that she knew he was so there wasn't any point in trying to hide his feelings. yet he just didn't want to speak about what was causing his upset.
he'd heard through the grapevine that a brand trip was coming up for a large brand that he'd worked with during his early days of content creation, where they were getting the majority together to celebrate a milestone for this said brand, yet his invitation hadn't been seen in the post or through his emails nor through his management.
evident to him that he wasn't one of those included.
and it was silly of him to get upset because he could fly himself out to wherever they'd gone and have, himself, a holiday of a lifetime... he just felt a little left out. and he definitely wasn't going to let his best friend know of that.
"are you missing your boyfriend?"
"what?"
"sorry, i meant to say boyfriends. plural. boyfriends with an s."
"did you come over to annoy me or did you come over to actually keep me company tonight?" george asks and, for the first time in a long time, he looks over at her and she can see the glum look in his eyes, "because if it's the former, i'm not in the mood for that."
"oh," yn frowns heavily, retracting herself from being snuggled into his side and folding her arms over her chest, "okay."
there's a heavy silence that swallows the both of them.
an awkward and tense silence, that made the atmosphere thick and unbearable, with the conversation between the characters on the television being the only thing to fill it. she can feel his eyes burning holes in the side of her head but she refuses to look at him... his tone felt off with her and she didn't want to make it any worse.
"yn..."
her eyes stay focused on the television but she can feel his body move beside her, mirroring how she was previously sat beside him, his body weight shifting the pillow beneath her as he closed the gap between them.
and she tried her hardest to keep her eyes on david tennant as he ran on the screen with some make-believe monster chasing behind him, focusing her attention on anything but the man beside her
"yn, i'm sorry."
"i'm just trying to make you feel better, george. you don't need to bite my head off or push me away and hope i'll leave you alone to wallow in your self pity," she bites back at him and he turns his upper body to face her, arm resting on the back of sofa and he propped his head up with the palm of his hand, "i get you don't want to talk about what it is that has pissed you off. cool. fine with me. but i just wanted to let you know i was here."
george's face softens as he looks at her; whilst she watched the telly, he was watching her. the way the light of the television screen caught in her eyes, the way her cheeks had darkened in colour, the way her eyebrows were pinched together in annoyance at him. he straightens his arm out and his hand cups the back of her head, thumb stroking the strands of her hair in delicate motions, and he can see how she's fighting the urge to lean into his touch.
"don't be mad at me."
silence.
"yn, please. i said i was sorry, please don't be angry with me."
he caught the lingering side-eye that she gave him and a smirk toyed at his lips.
"i'll get on my knees and beg for you not to be mad at me, if i have to," he states and the hollow of her cheek became a dimple as she chewed on the flesh inside her mouth, "oh, i see how it is. you want me to beg, don't you?"
the cushions move beside her and she's jostled around as he stands himself up from the sofa and, suddenly, a wave of cool air replaces the heat from his body that he emitted. the television being hidden behind his body and he adjusted the t-shirt that had ridden up his body and had become untucked from his jeans. and she really can't look away from him when he's kneeling before her.
she tries to keep the annoyed look on her face... except... it was hard when he knelt down in front of her, hands flat on her thighs, with a look in his eyes that held a lot more than apologies.
"please, stop ignoring me. i can't deal with it," he whispers, his eyes are level with hers and his orbs are a darker shade than normal, and she can sense her own mirroring his demeanour, "i need you to look at me, i need you to talk to me, i need you to stop being so annoyed with me because i'm an idiot."
his fingers were dangerously close to a zone that would have her like putty in his hands, melting into the cushions around her, completely at his disposal.
"jesus christ," he grumbles lowly, like he needed a pep-talk with his mind to confess what he needed to say, "i need you, yn."
her throat goes dry, her stomach doing flips, and she tenses her legs so tight that he must have felt a change under his palms as they sat on her thighs. a gulp filling the silent room. she couldn't work out the meaning behind his words, the look in his eyes nor how the room had changed into something hotter and more suffocating.
"what?"
"don't tell me you don't feel the same," he murmurs quietly; and she would have scolded herself and called herself a fool if she shook her head in response to him, "i can see the look in your eyes when you look at me. the way you tense in the palms of my hands. i'm far too comfortable around you now, yn, so whatever is going on here then i'm down for it. whatever it is that happens. i'm game, if you are."
she painted a look of dumbfound on her face as she continues to look at the television screen, pretending not to have a clue on what he was insinuating, because she wanted to hear him say it. loud and clear. because that would be the final pull of the rope to unravel the knot that was forming in her gut.
"what do you think is happening?"
"you tell me," she whispers softly, her attention still purely on david tennant as he pressed the buttons on the console of the tardis on the screen, "you can't be mad at me and push me away then act like you want me, george. that's what dicks do. you're playing around and that is not okay."
"i'll show you what a dick can do," he taunts titillatingly and her eyes widen as his brash statement, "let me show you. you clearly need a refresh on how good a dick can be."
and, for the first time after their mini argument, she looks him dead in the eyes and her breath catches in her throat, his thumbs stroking at the fabric of her gym shorts - that she wore for comfort and lounging around - but a little too close to the heat between her thighs. the way his eyes were burning holes in her face from how intense his stare was upon her, the feeling of his hands on her thighs becoming much heavier and even harder to ignore, and she was crumbling before him with every second that passed.
with each second that passed, the silence between them became almost unbearable and she was getting hot as she sat before him on the sofa, not an inkling of movement coming from her as she felt his hands slowly, almost achingly, glide up her thighs and cup her hips.
"will you let me show you?"
she nods tentatively; what the hell was happening?
the night had started out as a cosy evening in george's flat, since both chris and arthur were away for separate events that seemed to fall at the same time, in front of the television with some takeaway on the coffee table and a bottle of wine being shared between the two of them, as she gave him company whilst he was feeling low. so she wasn't expecting the night to take a complete turn just a couple of hours in.
gulping back the thick lump in her throat as she felt his fingers make their way into the waistband of her shorts, pushing up on the soles of her feet so he had it easy to pull the material from her lower half, a tingle tickling up her spine at the cool air that hit her warm skin as well as the heat that had formed a dampened patch in the crotch of her knickers.
"shouldn't it be the other way around?"
he shakes his head and slots himself between her legs, wrapping his hands around her calves and pulling on them to have her lower on the sofa, his face becoming eye-level with the one crevice of her body that he was craving to dip his tongue into. allowing her legs to hang over his shoulder, her heels colliding with his back as they hung loose behind him, and the position brought a twitch to his already hard cock.
"but you're the one who's had a bad day," she insists, his fingers being ever so delicate as they freed her bundle of nerves from the material of her knickers, "it should be me making you feel the way you're making me feel right now."
"and how am i making you feel?"
"you know exactly what you're doing to me, clarkey," and her breath catches in her throat at the feeling of his warm breath hitting her moistened folds, "i want to make you feel like this."
"how do you know i don't feel the same?" he questions her, her scent being enough to bring flutters to his belly and making him almost burst in his tracksuit joggers but he was determined to wait until the right time to bring out his build-up release, "you drive me crazy."
"i want to make- fuck," there's a harsh shiver that runs up her spine before goosebumps rise on the surface of her skin, her fingers gripping into the sofa cushion beneath her once she felt his tongue lick a stripe between her folds, the hair on his upper lip dragging across her neat and groomed mound but the hair of his beard tickling at her inner thighs as he devours her core, "christ, clarkey."
her words on enticed him further.
the tip of his tongue flick at the bundle of nerves, his soft lips wrap follow in suit, suckling and flicking rhythmically as he held her hips in place. her hands finding their place in his hair, pushing back his fringe as she curled her fingers into the soft strands, gripping tight with each and ever jerk she wanted to give out from her hips. her head rolling back against the cushion behind her, eyes squeezed shut, her knees tensing and her toes curling in her socks as they hung over his shoulders.
he removes a hand from her hip, keeping one firm to her waist, and he brings it down between her legs, pulling away briefly to allow time for a breather but he wasn't about to stop for a moment. his thumb being magnetised to her nerves, rubbing slow figure-of-eights in a gentle yet consistent motion, fingers teasing at her entrance. and she was desperate to feel his fingers deep within her, brushing over the spots that would have her writhing and crying out for pleasure.
"what do you want me to do? tell me," he croaks, his lips damp from a mixture of her pre-release and her juices and he looked delectable and drunk on the taste of her, eyes heavy and hooded, "what do you want?"
"your hands," she begs, looking at him through hooded eyes and the eye contact was enough for her to melt into the sofa. and he wastes no time in sliding two digits into her, his eyes barely leaving hers as he watches her face contort into an absolute state of pure ecstasy, "fucking-"
he smirks at the sight before him and watches as her head rolls back, smug written across his features because he had her like jelly in the palm of his hands, the sounds eliciting from her driving him to continue with the same pace and the same motions because it was clearly making her satisfied.
"clarkey, i-" she whines out loud, the sounds coming from between her thighs sounded sloppy and wet and he could tell she was on the verge of releasing the built-up pleasure that was ready to burst from within, "-i'm gon'a-"
"go on," he coaxes her, quickening the pace of his wrist in hopes it got her to her climax quicker because he was desperate for a release of his own, his hardening length throbbing more intensely behind his joggers, "come on, darling. i know you want to come for me."
and that was all it took, along with the quickened pace of his wrist and the way his fingers curled up and hit the spot within her that made her writhe around, for her to release around his digits. her walls clenching, unclenching, tightening around him with a string of pure profanities rolling off her tongue as her hands grip tighter at his hair.
"george-"
he shushes her softly.
his name sounded broken as it left her lips and in that moment, as she lay in her post-climax state before him, he just wanted to drink her all in. her hair was slightly messed and knotty from the way her head had rolled back constantly through her pleasure, her knuckles were white from the grip she had upon the strands of his hair, and her eyes were glossy and the stare she held upon him was dark and there was a hint of neediness deep within. his fingers were sweet enough to cover her up, delicate as they touched her skin, and he could feel the shaking of her limbs as she worked through the last bit of her orgasm.
"you're so pretty," he whispers, removing his hand from her hip and he brought it up to her cheek, caressing the skin softly as he swipes his thumb beneath her eye to collect the moisture that had dribbled from her eye, "so pretty when you come."
she smiles lopsidedly and he moves away from her, her legs flopping to the floor and her feet land with a thud on the carpet, watching him as he manoeuvred from the floor to the sofa beside her, an evident reaction that wasn't well hidden by the bagginess of the joggers on his lower half.
"your turn?" she asks him with a grin that sat cheekily on her mouth, sitting herself up and twisting her body to look at him, "let me repay the favour."
"i don't think i can wait any longer," he says lowly, almost like a growl that came from low within his chest and he watches her intently as she pulls her hair back and ties it into a messy bun to keep it from getting in the way, freeing up and exposing her neck and the stretch of skin between her collarbones and her ears, somewhere he wanted to hide his face and leave marks behind to let people know she was a taken women... even though, truthfully, she wasn't. her fingers went quick to his joggers and he offers her a helping hand, pulling them free from his waist and kicking them off, leaving only his boxers to keep little to the imagination, "a blowie can wait, darling. i don't think i can stand not being deep inside you for another second."
"but-"
"next time," he promises her and she wants to frown, she wants to pout, and she wants to get upset over how she couldn't repay the favour to him... but when he frees his cock from the tight constraints of his boxer shorts, watching as it twitches at the chill in the air and bobs free, all the upset feelings seemed to disappear. a hungry and needy feeling forming in her gut as she watches him jerk his length a few times before he offered his lap to her, "c'mon. i'm getting cold over here."
she swings a leg over and hovers above his hardening cock, hands resting on his shoulders, his fingers slide the crotch of her knickers across and she slowly lowers herself down.
"clarkey, what are we doing?"
"we're just having some fun," he tells her and she gulps back the lump in her throat that had formed at the anticipation and how it had dawned upon her just what was happening in that moment, "right? you, uh- you do want this?"
she nods erratically, "more than you know. i just- i don't know."
because thinking about george and how he would treat a woman in bed was all she could think about sometimes. laid in bed with her mind running wild as she teased herself. thinking about just how much she wanted to be that lucky lady who got to share the bed with him, the one who was lucky enough to see him in his post-sex haze, the one who was lucky enough to feel the pleasure and satisfaction that he had to offer.
but there was some guilt that sat deep at the back of her mind; they were best friends. she shouldn't have feelings for him. and she hated how those feelings brought out all kinds of emotions when it came to him. jealousy whenever she saw another woman talking to him or touching him in a way she wanted to, upset when he came home with news of a date he had set up with someone off of a dating app but happiness when they didn't pan out so well and he chose to give up for a while, lust when he was looking a little too good for a night out, and desire to be the hopeful one he went home with.
he had a hold on her and she hated not knowing if he felt the same.
she lowers her hips down, his hand guiding the tip of his cock across the entrance between her folds, yet another shiver travelling up her spine. she'd wanted this for so long, so had he, yet neither of them were about to admit to that. and she could feel the burning stretch as she welcomed him in, her release from moments ago adding enough slip for him to glide in without any need of a thrust of his hips. his hands cupping her backside, a palm on each bum cheek, and that was all it took for her to sink down and feel her thighs flush against his own.
"it's all on you. you control the pace," he shudders as he speaks and she nods softly, forearms resting on his shoulders as her hands come to play with the curls of his mullet at the back of his head, "whenever you're ready."
it didn't take her long before she was pushing up on her knees and grinding her hips in circular movements on his cock, his legs tensing and his fingers digging into the flesh of her bum, leaving behind tiny crescent-shaped indents from where his fingernails were gripped to her skin. his head rolling back, eyes closed, revealing the adam's apple that was bobbing in his throat from each thick gulp he took as he tried to contain the moans and groans that were threatening to spill from his mouth.
not that he had any reason to be quiet.
they had the flat to themselves with arthur and chris being away yet the thought of someone being able to walk through the front door and see the sight before them of yn sat so beautifully upon his lap, well... it was enough to keep driving him on. the thrill of being caught was enticing enough.
his moans were guttural with every movement she made and she needed him to be more vocal, wanted to hear how happy he felt, she needed something to spur her on. the way he filled her up, stretched her in the most pleasurable way possible, had her emotions at an all-time high and she didn't want it to end. his hands were on her hips, barely moving as she did most of the work, only acting as support for when her legs got a little too tired.
"you feel so good," he groans through gritted teeth, his eyes soon opening and falling to the soft mounds beneath her t-shirt, trained on the way they bounced with each up and down motion she made on his cock, wanting nothing more than to bury his face between them and call himself 'at home', "god, you're so good."
she grins in response, feeling herself clench tightly around him, eliciting a hiss from his mouth at how he wasn't expecting to feel it. the sounds of their breathing being drowned out by the sloppy sound coming from between them as well as the sound of the bare skin of their thighs slapping together with each ride.
and they weren't sure if it was because the moment was so good and highly anticipated but neither one of them wanted to hold on for much longer. his fingers digging into her bum, yet again, as he tried to hold back on his release... but it was becoming increasingly hard when she teased him by clenching around him.
"if you wan'a-" she gulps back the dryness of her throat and he nods, barely able to make a sound as she drags her hand down his clothed chest and made fists in the material, "i need to-"
"if you go, i go," he entices her, "let go if you need to."
and that was all it took for her to break apart on top of him, her hips and her once-rhythmic motions becoming a little off and he could feel her walls tightening as she rode through her orgasm, her head thrown back and her hair falling loose from the messy bun she'd thrown it into just prior to their sensual activity, hands tightening on her bum to keep her from falling backwards and into the empty takeaway containers on the table. her fists still holding tight to his tee.
and he was soon following suit.
white hot euphoria rippling through his insides as he spurts strong jets of white release into her, tensing his thighs and thrusting his hips upwards to paint the entirety of her insides with his orgasm. reaching spots that had her whining out from being overstimulated, her legs shaking and her eyes watering, his own becoming glossy.
"bloody hell," he croaks, a tired laugh escaping through the heavy panting leaving his chest, "that was-"
"clarkey, i have no idea how you aren't fucking on the regular," yn says as the words come out staggered and drawn out from the heavy pants coming from her chest, "what's holding you back?"
"not a what, it's a who."
"pardon?"
"who's holding me back, that should be the question," he looks at her and hopes she understands just what he was hinting at; post-sex had him softening, almost like it was an outer-body experience because he had no control over the words falling from his mouth, "i think i'm falling in love with someone. it's a who holding me back, not a what."
"oh."
the guilt settled in her stomach and it felt for her to be sat on his lap, his release dribbling from within her as his cock was sandwiched in between their bodies, her arms loosening around his neck and she wanted to lift her head from his chest. but his arms stayed tight around her middle, holding her close, feeling how she'd tensed up at the mere thought of there being someone else.
of course there was someone else.
george was an insanely attractive man with a good sense of humour and a way with words that would drive any woman crazy. if so much of a glance went in their direction, they would turn into a puddle on the floor with how his gaze held so much intensity behind it.
"it's you, you muppet," he confesses into her shoulder, dragging his fingers up and down her spine in a soothing manner, "it's always been you, yn. there's not been a single day that goes by where i haven't thought about being with you in the way we've been together tonight. i don't know what i was thinking when i told myself to wait before i did anything stupidly quick in making you mine."
she pulls away from him, enough to be able to look him in the eyes, his breath now back to it's usual rhythm yet somehow, her's seemed to get quicker. the hold he had upon her was one that was tight, like she would do anything he asked her to. his eyes were hooded, he was sleepy-looking, and she really revelled in the way post-sex looked on him.
"i'm so glad," she breathes out a shaky laugh and her fingers twist softly into his hair, "i don't think i'd be able to look at your after tonight and know there was someone else you were thinking about."
"does this mean-"
"yes," she interrupts him, almost immediately, "it's always been you, clarkey. i've been waiting for you to make a move so i didn't ruin what we had between us. i value you too much to ever lose you to anyone else over something so... juvenile."
"oh, you wanted me to ruin our friendship?" he asks with a smirk on his lips and she frowns at him, eyebrows pinching together, "i'm just glad you feel the same way or else this," he motions between the two of them and it was only then that she realised how close both of them really were... his cock no longer erect but was still glistening from both of their releases and she was still radiating heat that he could feel across his thighs, "this would have been very awkward."
she pushes his chest with a heavy palm and rolls her eyes, only to have him wrap his hand around her wrist, pulling her back to his body and she nestles her head back into the crook of his neck.
"whatever this means, whatever happens next between us, we'll take it slow. we can just enjoy each other without the heaviness of being a couple just to see where we want this to go," he suggests and she nods in agreement, "but this night? it's not going forgotten."
339 notes · View notes
arilevenatz · 4 months ago
Text
Chasing Shadows
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Pairing: popular guy!yeosang x chubby!fem!reader
Genre: Angst (?), fluff
Word count: 5.3k
Warnings: kinda frat boy yeosang, him and his friends are handsome (yes that's a warning), reader has anxiety, she is also insecure, anxiety attacks, yeo is cheeky, like really cheeky, you might wanna flick him a bit, bestfriend! San and wooyoung, suicide mentioned, lmk if I missed any!!
AN: y'all bear with me this is my first time posting on Tumblr, I'm still figuring out stuff. I had a dream about this and I decided that I'm gonna write a yeo fic. And also please reblog and like, so I can get more motivated!!
Masterlist
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Yeosang was a quiet and smart guy in the class. He used to talk only when spoken to. Except his little friend group, well maybe not so little. All the students seem to respect him of some sort. He and his group almost seemed, untouchable. Not like they were the popular group or something. Neither were they hostile. They were just really handsome. The whole group looked like they walked out of a movie set of a kdrama.
You were not new to this. But not particularly known as well. Honestly you didn't care. You stopped caring since high school. The only thing you knew about him was that he was a guy from a group.....and he was good at maths. You were a normal student, yes, maybe you scored the top score in Psychology in your college anyone has ever had, but that's just irrelevant right? In the end, nobody cares.
But you were wrong, he cares. So much so that he came and sat beside you in English class. Not particularly unlikely for someone to sit beside you. You usually didn't even care. But he isn't just somebody. He is the Yeosang. The same guy that all the girls swooned over just cuz he showed his birthmark. What's so impressive about birthmarks anyway? It's just a mark.
At first, you didn't care. But then it started to repeat. Everyday he would come and sit beside you (cause language classes were mandatory everyday) and heck you were not liking the attention you were getting.
"Hey, you should not get close to yeosang or anyone in their group. I heard they are gangsters" "I heard they are no good" "They are in a satanic cult where they sell their souls to the devil to live for eternity!!"
Yeah needless to say people had some crazy rumours about them. You? you didn't care. And also who the fuck would sell their soul to live forever. You'd rather do that to die painlessly, cause life. But for some reason, they seem to keep their distance from the group but admire them from afar. Almost as if they are scared of them.
Anyway people are quick to come to conclusions. But you were not like that. You were annoyed. Like why the fuck you sitting next to me dude go away. But of course you're an unproud introvert. You can't just tell him to leave that's rude. So you did the next best thing. Just sit somewhere else. If he really liked that seat, he could have his nook. You're gonna go and distance yourself. Not cause you are scared of him, but you know just to be careful. (Keep gaslighting yourself queen)
Yeosang walks into the classroom and scans the big room, his eyes narrowing as he doesn't see you in your usual seat. His headphones in he hesitantly approaches the desk where you're now sitting and pulls out the chair beside you, sitting down heavily. You mentally slap your forehead. This really is helping your reputation.
Yeosang looks at you with a raised eyebrow, clearly confused. He glances around the room, noticing the other students staring at you both. After a moment of silence, he turns back to you and notices your ears are red. He asks in a low tone, "What's going on? Why are you sitting somewhere else today?" Wow he's talking to me now
Yeosang gaze stills, and he leans back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. "You're avoiding me because of what people are saying about me, isn't it?" His voice is deep, but oddly quiet. It was something you've never heard before. And you couldn't pinpoint his emotions.
"Well kinda. But that doesn't mean I actually believe them. I just don't like people." You say thinking you weirded him out and hoping he'll leave you alone assuming you're an antisocial animal.
A flicker of something passes through Yeosang's eyes at your blunt response. He uncrosses his arms and leans forward, his elbows resting on the desk. "I get it. You don't trust easily. Neither do I." He pauses, considering his words carefully. Bro stop talking to me ?!
You don't react to his words and just look at the front. Your whole face feels warm. It's that feeling you get when you're embarrassed. Feeling everyone's eyes on you. You felt anxious, thinking everyone was judging you. You hate this feeling. You felt exposed to everyone. Even though they don't give two shits about you. It's that bubbling feeling inside the pit of your stomach. The heaviness in your chest. That shakiness in your hands and legs. You really felt like it would be nice if the floor split in half and eat you alive.
The class finish and you quickly pack up and leave, avoiding him again. Yeosang watches you rush out the door without a backward glance. His looks at your leaving figure with a thoughtful expression. The next day, he arrives early to claim the seat next to you again, determined to break through your walls.
As the class enters, Yeosang is already seated in your usual spot, his arms crossed and pen spinning in his hand. His presence seems to command the attention of the room, but he pays no mind to the whispers or curious glances directed at him. Instead, his focus is fixed on the doorway, waiting for your arrival. When you finally enter, he notices how you hesitate at the sight of him already occupying your seat. It was then when he looked down and started to scribble something in his notebook. You try to skip the vacant seat beside him and go further behind but he reaches out and grabs your backpack, pulling it onto the empty seat beside him. He continues to write, his pen scratching against the paper in a steady rhythm. After a moment, he glances up and meets your gaze, his expression unreadable. "You're late".
You sit down quietly, take off your glasses and rub your face, ignoring him. Here we go again, I'm tired of this shit.. What does a girl do to have some peace? Witnessing your frustration, a slight smile appears on his lips as he reaches for your glasses. "Hey," he says in a low voice, just audible enough for you to hear. His fingers brush against yours as he takes the glasses from your hand, then deliberately places them back on your face, adjusting them slightly. "Wear them"
The teacher comes in and starts to teach. You sit there, staring blankly at the teacher writing on the board, but your mind is elsewhere. You replay the moment he adjusted your glasses, trying to read into his expression. You begin to imagine that he looked disgusted, that he must think you're hideous without your glasses on. You can't help but feel self-conscious. You catch yourself unconsciously touching your glasses, as if to double-check they're still there. You imagine him whispering to his friends about how ugly you look without them, how he's only sitting next to you as a joke. You felt yourself picking at your finger nails, your legs bouncing up and down continuously with the approaching thoughts.
During a brief moment when the teacher turns away to write on the board, Yeosang leans in closer to you. His voice is low and barely audible, "Stop picking at your nails, it's distracting" He says it bluntly, without any real malice, before returning his attention to the lecture.
"Im sorry" you apologise quietly. Wait why the fuck did I apologise, I did nothing wrong.
Over the next few days, a pattern emerges. Yeosang continues to sit next to you in class, trying to engage in conversation, but you always find a way to shut him down or quickly change the subject. He notices that you avoid him between classes, always taking a different route. You think it's working, driving him away slowly. Maybe he'll realise you really are weird and will leave you alone. But something quite opposite happens.
Yeosang starts to get frustrated with the constant rebuffs. He can't understand why you're so hostile towards him, especially since he's trying to be friendly. One day, as you're walking down the hallway, he blocks your path, forcing you to stop and look at him. "What's your problem?"
"What is your problem?" You say, as he blocks your path with his body. "My problem? You're the one who's been acting like I've got a disease every time I try to talk to you." You open your mouth to say something but he beats you to it. "You're always shutting me down, avoiding me, and picking at those damn nails of yours. It's like you can't stand my presence."
You look down, sighing loudly and look up to him. "Then take the damn sign man, I don't wanna talk to you or engage in any activity that involves you" yeah that'll do, that gotta be the most rude thing you say to anyone, that'll definitely shoo him off. But again, the universe says fuck you and the opposite happens. Yeosang's eyes widen in surprise at your blunt words. For a moment, he stares at you, his expression unreadable. Then, unexpectedly, he bursts into laughter - a deep, genuine sound that echoes through the hallway. This fucker-
"What's so funny?" you ask, clearly embarrassed. Yeosang continues to laugh, his shoulders shaking as he looks you up and down. When he finally composes himself, he wipes tears from his eyes and says, "Damn, I like you even more now. You're fucking hilarious. Alright, fine, I'll take the sign."
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He did not take the sign. Yes he did stop directly talking to me, but he won't actually leave me alone. He is still in the shadows. He stopped sitting beside me but went behind me. He stopped walking with me but started following me around.
Yeosang finds your stubborn refusal to engage endearing rather than frustrating. Instead of backing off as you hoped, he shifts tactics. He maintains a subtle presence in your peripheral vision. You catch glimpses of him behind you in class, always watching. At lunch one day, yeosang casually sits at the table next to yours with a group of his friends. He doesn't look at you directly, but you can feel his eyes flicking in your direction
Yeosang's friends chat with him, but he only half-listens, his attention constantly drifting to you. He murmurs something to them, and they glance over at you, exchanging curious looks. His friend, wooyoung asks him "yo man, how's your pursuing that girl going?" Another guy, San, says "I don't know if you can call it pursuing dawg, all he does is follow the girl around the college like a creep." Wooyoung pops a cookie in his mouth and says "Damn man, I didn't know you were like this"
"Shut up about her." His tone is casual, but there's an edge to it - protectiveness almost. He keeps his voice low enough that only they can hear, "She's... different. Fuck, I don't know why, but she's got me twisted up." Wooyoung grins mischievously, "Ah ha! You're falling for her aren't you? You're actually trying to chase a girl who isn't subtly throwing herself at you." He laughs, nudging yeosang's arm. "But that's not really gonna work is it? you need to fucking commit to it"
Yeosang's expression darkens slightly, his eyes narrowing. He takes a swig of his soda before responding, "What do you suggest then, genius? You think I should just walk up to her and...?" He leaves the sentence hanging, waiting for Wooyoung's input. "Yes, you should" San says without missing a beat. San's straightforward approach makes him smirk, but a flash of uncertainty crosses his face. "And what if she..." He pauses, running a hand through his styled hair "... what if she thinks I'm weird?" His eyes shift in your direction for a brief moment before focusing back on his friends. "Bruh, the way you've been acting all these days, she probably already thinks of you like that by now"
Yeosang scoffs, shaking his head disbelievingly. "Fuck, when you put it like that..." He leans back in his chair, crossing his muscular arms over his chest, his silver chain catching the light. "Maybe it's time to switch things up then."
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The library is large and quiet, with tall bookshelves filling the room. The shelves are packed with books of all colors. Sunlight shines through colorful windows, making pretty patterns on the floor. A few students sit quietly, reading or studying. It's a peaceful place to think and learn. As you enter the library, the usual silence is interrupted only by the rustling of pages and the occasional whisper. You find a quiet corner to sit down and start reading. After a few minutes, you hear footsteps approaching. You don't pay much attention, assuming it's just another student.
You felt them sit down across from you. Your body tenses slightly as you notice the movement, causing you to glance up from your book. Through your peripheral vision, you catch sight of the person who just sat down across from you - it's him again. It's been weeks since he has been silently following you around, but now he approached you again.
His presence looms oddly, a juxtaposition in this sanctum of silence. He gazes at you, an unreadable expression on his chiseled face, his fingers absentmindedly tracing the cover of a thick tome he's brought with him. "Hey." You answered him silently "hey...." He leans forward slightly, the movement causing the leather of his jacket to creak softly. "Look... I know you probably think I'm being kinda creepy and shit..." He runs a hand through his messy dark hair, looking uncomfortable for once, unlike his usual composed demeanor.
He takes a deep breath, as if gathering his thoughts. "I just... I wanted to talk to you, ya know? You're different from the other girls at school. You're always so... quiet, so focused on your books."
"You're so different, you're the most unique girl I've ever met. You're my type, are you gonna say this? All those lame shit people say in movies? Please stop mocking me" His expression freezes for a moment, caught off guard by your blunt response. Then, to your surprise, he lets out a low, genuine laugh. "Shit, you're right. That was cheesy as hell." He shakes his head, a small smirk playing on his lips. You were listening to him. But something inside you stirred and you felt angry. You remembered all those times those people in middle and high school bullied you. All those times you felt that every time you entered the room, everyone looked at your body and you felt insecure. All those times your family members indirectly forced you to believe that you can only be loved when you lose weight. And you snapped. "stop mocking me. I know people like you. you guys go up to girls like me and say you like them only to say 'April fools' or say 'its a dare' later. I hate guys like you"
His grin fades, his expression turning serious, but his eyes still hold a glint of mischief. "You really think that's what I'm doing?" He tilts his head to the side, studying your face intently. He maintains eye contact, his expression unreadable. He sees the suspicion in your eyes, and it only seems to fuel his mischievous glint. He leans forward, his voice lowering. "Let me ask you something..." He studies your face intently, a slight smirk playing on his lips. "First off... do I look like I have a problem finding girls to talk to?" He gestures to himself, a hint of pride in his tone. "And second..." His voice drops lower as he deliberately maintains eye contact. "Second what?" You shout.
"No shouting in the library student!" The librarian warned you. You sit back down embarrassed and all red.
He laughs a little and says "Second, would I really waste my time pretending to like someone just to play an April Fool's prank?" His words send a shiver down your spine as he pulls back, his eyes never leaving yours. "Or maybe..." He looks at you with a half-smirk, half-serious expression "You're actually quite... interesting. Not many people stand up to me like you do." His eyes crinkle again as he studies your reaction "And hey..." He reaches over and lightly taps your finger. You retreat your hand from his touch. His expression shifts to a playful pout, though his eyes still hold a glint of amusement "Wow, so I'm not even worthy of a tiny hand tap?" You shake your head as a 'No'. He leans back in his chair, studying your defensive posture with interest "You're not scared of me, are you?" He chuckles low in his throat, his gaze never leaving yours even though you fail to keep eye contact, "listen, can I not just like you? I like you. I want to be with you"
"No! people don't simply like girls like me" you felt like crying, but you can't. His expression turns mockingly serious, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Oh, so you're saying you're not likeable? You think I can't like you because you're... what?" He crosses his arms, leaning forward again, his curiosity piqued. You were getting annoyed.
"You know what I am"
"No I don't"
"Fuck. Fine! Im fat and ugly"
His face freezes and for a moment, he looks genuinely shocked. But then, he lets out a harsh laugh. "Fat and ugly? He shakes his head, his gaze raking over your form appraisingly. "You really think that's what I see when I look at you?"
"You don't need to look at me like that, I am like that so fuck off I don't need you laughing at my face."
You stand up harshly, take your bag and walk outside the library. He follows you and grabs your upper arm, not harshly but firmly enough to hold your attention. "Listen carefully..." His voice softens, losing its usual mocking tone. "I'm not some creep who goes around lying to get in girls' pants." You open your mouth to say something but he quickly shuts you off. "You know what I see when I look at you? I see someone who's honest, even if it hurts. I see someone who's strong, even when they feel weak. And I see someone who's fucking beautiful, inside and out."
"Everyone says that but that's actually never true!"
"Then tell me, what do you see when you look in the mirror? Because whoever made you believe these lies about yourself? That person's fucking blind."
"Im not about to start talking to you as if you're my therapist. You let me go"
He loosens the grip but still holds onto your hand. "Alright, But just so we're clear? You're not fat, and you're definitely not ugly. You can tell me why you feel that way"
You wriggle your hand out of his hold and finally look at him. You've had enough.
"Fine, you wanna know? I am chubby, and I'm ok with that, I have no problem being chubby. it's just tiring for me because ppl always make it seem like I'm some disgusting things that doesn't deserve humanity" you take a breath and star again, "And you cannot say anything to me because you wanted this, you wanted me to say all these"
You look down, feeling defeated. It's so weird to word these things to someone, considering you had no one growing up. No siblings, no bestfriends, no close cousins. Even your parents never listened or talked to you about how you felt. You were truly tired. You felt two hands hold your shoulder. You look up, and it's Yeosang.
"People are fucking idiots. And the fact that you're okay with being yourself makes you hotter than anyone who tries to fit into some bullshit beauty standard." His jaw clenches at your words, a hint of something flashing in his eyes. He looked angry.
"Those assholes can keep their narrow-minded opinions. Because someone who stands up for themselves like you just did? Someone who owns their worth instead of begging for validation"
His gaze intensifies, filled with a newfound respect and... something deeper. "That's the kind of person who deserves to be cherished. And anyone who can't see that? They're the ones who are fucking ugly, inside and out."
He sees the unspoken acknowledgment in your eyes, the silent absorption of his words. It's the first time he's seen you listen so intently, without pushing him away or rolling your eyes. He swallows hard, realizing the power of his words on you.
His monologue ended. And it was everything you wanted to hear all these days. The words you wanted your parents to say to you, the words you needed. He said everything. It was the first time in a while you felt like you can actually believe someone. But you were not like this. Circumstances made you so that you push away everyone. And that has become your nature. If I can push them away before they can, I won't be hurt.
"I appreciate your words towards me, but I don't know anything about your confession. I-I don't think so I can accept it"
He nods slowly, a small smile playing on his lips. "I get it. It's a lot to take in, especially coming from a person like me." He leans in closer, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "Tell you what - how about I show you my worth?"
You look up at him, bewildered. What does he want. Is he crazy? Has he lost his marbles? Is he that bored? All these questions flood your mind but only one thing slips out of your mouth, "huh?" His smile grows wider, a spark of mischief in his eyes. "You know, prove to you that I'm not just some dumb guy who talks big." He pauses, studying your face. "I'll do something for you. Something that shows you I'm more than just words. I'll court you"
You were speechless. "I-I don't need-"
He puts a finger on your lips to shut you up. "Let me finish," He says, his tone leaving no room for argument. "I'm not doing this to pressure you or anything stupid like that. I just want a chance to show you who I really am, beyond the tough act."
Looking at your eyes, he realised how hurt you were. He exhales slowly, a hint of vulnerability in his eyes that he rarely lets anyone see. "I know I'm not the prince charming type. But maybe that's a good thing. Maybe you deserve someone who fights for you, who understands the real world and all its fucked up beauty."
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The next day, as you walk into college, you catch him standing beside the gate. Wearing his signature black attire with silver accessories. As you walked towards the gate, he saw you and he got off the wall and walked towards you. He stops in front of you, his hands in his pockets as he looks down at you with a small smile. "Morning," He says, his voice casual but with an underlying warmth. "I was waiting for you."
"Good morning" you look around and see people look at you for a moment and then look away. It made your face feel hot from embarrassment.
He holds your cheeks and moves your face towards him "don't look at them. ignore them" You both start walking towards the class. As they walk side by side, Yeosang couldn't help but let out a light chuckle, shaking his head slightly. "You know, I never thought I'd be one for this whole 'gentleman' thing. But here I am, walking you to class like some corny love story."
You were quick with your answer, "You wanted this. I'm positive by the end of this week, you won't want to be with me"
His smile fades a bit at your words, a hint of seriousness entering his eyes. "And why's that?" He asks, his voice low and even. "You think you're that hard to handle?" He smirks, but there's an underlying challenge in his gaze. You wait for him, to say further, but he waits for your answer. You look to the side, taking in a breath and say "Yes."
He stops walking abruptly, turning to face you directly. His expression is intense, a blend of amusement and determination. "Well, guess what? I've dealt with thorns, I've tangled with barbs, I've faced off against the sharpest minds and the coldest hearts."
You stare at him for a while and then "damn you really did become philosophical"
He barks out a short, surprised laugh, shaking his head as he starts walking again, this time more aggressively. "Philosophical? Nah, just stating facts." He glances at you sideways, a mischievous glint in his eye. You shake your head and follow him to the class.
Over the next few days, Yeosang continues to act like your doting boyfriend, much to the confusion and entertainment of your classmates. He walks you to class, sits with you at lunch, and even "accidentally" brushes your hands during lessons.
After school one day, he suddenly grabs your hand and starts dragging you towards the nearby ice cream shop. When you resist, he stops and turns to face you with a stubborn expression. "Come on, I'm buying you ice cream. Don't make a scene."
"I don't want ice cream"
He ignores your protests, opening the door to the ice cream shop and practically pushing you inside. "you're getting it anyway, pick a flavour"
Eventually you were forced to have a large ice cream cone with chocolate and Butter scotch, your two favourite flavours.
You both start walking towards your house "I don't like when people spend money on me" He shrugs it off, "Too bad, I spent the money anyway." He says nonchalantly, walking beside you with his hands shoved in his pockets. As you get closer to your house, he pauses and looks at you sideways, "You going to invite me in now?"
He wants to come inside my house now?
"in my house? My mom's in the house"
He looks at the door for a bit, then "how about I talk to my future mom in law beforehand and ask for her daughter's hand in marriage now." and walk right in as you had unlocked the door. You run to stop him but the damage was already done.
Yeosang finds himself standing in a neat, tidy living room. A woman with short, dark hair and piercing eyes is sitting on the couch, reading a book. She looks up as he enters and her gaze locks onto him. For a moment, Yeosang is taken aback by the intensity of her stare.
You trail behind, shocked by the ongoing staring contest between them.
He clears his throat professionally, straightening his posture "Good evening ma'am. I'm Kang Yeosang, your daughter's classmate. I was hoping we could have a word." He maintains a polite, respectful tone despite his usual confident demeanor, feeling the weight of this mother's presence.
The woman closes her book and places it on the coffee table. She stands up slowly, her eyes never leaving Yeosang's face. "You're yeosang" she states, her voice cold and calculated. "Sit down," she instructs, gesturing to the chair across from her. He moves to sit down carefully, maintaining eye contact with her while keeping his body language respectful. His usual charm falters slightly in the face of her stern presence. "I promise, I have the best intentions with your daughter."
Your mom raises an eyebrow skeptically as she leans forward, elbows resting on her knees. "that's for me to decide"
Shit yeosang thinks.
He takes a deep breath, leaning back slightly and offering what he hopes is a disarming smile. "Of course, ma'am. I wouldn't dream of imposing or presuming anything." He glances around the room, noting that there are no family pictures nor unnecessary decor. Noticing the notably stern air and lack of familial photographs surrounding him, yeosang's confidence dips even further. He shifts uncomfortably in his seat, suddenly wishing he had practiced this conversation in more depth. "I, uh... I truly care about her, ma'am."
"I understand that but what is it that you want?" Your mother asks him softly but with an underlying aggression.
He takes a deep breath, gathering his thoughts before speaking. "I mean, ma'am, that I have developed strong feelings for your daughter. I respect and admire her greatly, and I would like the opportunity to pursue a relationship with her, with your blessing and guidance."
Honestly, if you had popcorn, you'd be very entertained. Kinda well if you exclude the part that you might get your ass whooped after he leaves creating a big mess. But you hold your breath.
Your mother's expression remains unreadable, her eyes scrutinizing Yeosang intently. "You're asking for my permission to date my daughter?" She asks flatly, her tone leaving no room for misinterpretation.
he nods "yes ma'am"
She steeples her fingers, tapping her index fingers thoughtfully against her lips. "I see." She sits back in her chair, her eyes narrowing slightly. "Tell me, yeosang, how can I let my daughter be with you, if I don't know anything about your future, family. I don't want her to have a miserable life and for that you need to have a job"
"yes ma'am. That's why I have everything sorted out. Im good ataths and have dreams of persuing higher Education in it. if not I have intrest in becoming a professor. and if that fails as well, I have my father's company. but ofcourse, that is the last option"
Damn that was kinda hot. Wait, brain, wtf?
Your mother nods slowly, seeming to consider his words carefully. "A good education and a solid career path. Those are important things for a man to have." She pauses, her gaze drifting to the door for a moment before snapping back at him. "But tell me, yeosang"
"Are you prepared to handle the pressure and responsibilities that come with being in a relationship with my daughter? she has been severely depressed and suicidal for the past 8 years after her dad lost everything and committed suicide" Her voice is firm, leaving no room for argument.
You felt betrayed, by your own mother. You were shocked, hurt and mostly, sad that she exposed this. You were always reserved about your feelings, shutting them off from everybody. But hearing this made you felt exposed, naked almost
Yeosang's expression softens as he realizes the gravity of your situation. He leans forward earnestly, his eyes filled with sincerity and determination. "Ma'am, I understand completely. I know I'm asking for a big responsibility. But please believe me when I say that I'm ready to stand by your daughter through thick and thin. I have experience dealing with mental health issues, as my own aunt struggled with depression for years. I know it's not an easy path, but I'm committed to supporting and loving her unconditionally."
Your mother studies him intently, her hard exterior cracking slightly to reveal a glimmer of hope and relief in her eyes. "You're a good man, Yeosang. Most boys your age would run away screaming at the thought of dealing with something like this"
He shrugs and says something that made your eyes tear,
"I love her ma'am"
Your mother's expression softens further, a rare smile tugging at her lips. "I can see that you truly care for my daughter. That's the most important thing to me." She pauses, her mind made up. "You have my blessing to date my daughter, Yeosang."
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AN: whooo I got this done guys clap in the comments. I hope y'all enjoyed this and if you did, please reblog so I can reach even more people. I love yalllll
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byeoltoyuki · 11 months ago
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Try
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↳ Pairing: Seungmin x reader
❧ Genre: rivals to lovers / romance / smut
❧ Words: +4k
❧ Warnings: unprotected sex, oral (f)
❧Summary : Years ago, he used to be your enemy.
No. Enemy was too strong to describe what Kim Seungmin was to you. Your rival was a better term. He was everything you weren’t; friendly, funny and effortlessly brilliant. You loathed him for that. And yet, when you meet him again years later, you just can’t deny that there’s something else between you too.
❧ A/N : Honestly, this one comes out of nowhere. I just needed to write so here it comes ♥ Reblogs and comments are always appreciated ♥
***
‘Trust your guts’.
It was your motto in life. A simple rule. And you abided by this rule half of your short lived life. But not tonight and you regretted it. Deeply.
The annual gathering with people from your college was an event your closest friends adored just so they could show some idiots that they had succeeded in life. You? You avoided it. An event you hated with all your heart. You always found excuses not to go. Your life depended on it.
Okay. Not really. Not your life at least. But definitely your ego.
You hated half of the people who attended the event. Back in college, they were so quick to judge, to talk behind your back and yet they expected you to be nice to them. To them, you were just a cold, nerdy girl with no friends. Someone they could easily mock. They hated your attitude. They hated your looks. But they also hated how easily you beat them every single time.
They were wrong.
Yes, you were a little nerdy back then, but you weren’t a cold person, just shy. And you had friends. Not many, but you didn’t need many to feel good. To be happy. Those you had, stuck by your side and they also happened to be the reason you had finally agreed to come to the gathering. You just couldn’t say no to Hyunjin and Yeji, not when those two formed an alliance against you. You had no chance against them.
You sighed to yourself. Would it be rude to grab your purse and leave? One nasty look from Hyunjin, as if he could read your mind, and you gulped nervously. Apparently it was. You slumped further into your chair and tried to keep up with the conversation. Same boring conversation. ‘Where do you currently work?’ ‘Are you soon getting married?’ ‘I’ve bought a house!’ Why did it have to be a competition? Couldn't they just enjoy a nice gathering and the meal?
“Hyunjin, I heard you’re flying to Paris for the fashion week.” Seoah were almost drooling as she spoke to Hyunjin. You cringed. She couldn’t make it even more obvious that she wasn’t just admiring him. No, she had something else on mind. Too bad, Hyunjin was a taken man even if she didn’t know that.
He smiled into his drink. “Yes, tomorrow.” He put his glass back on the table and glanced smugly at a silently fuming Juwon who always hated Hyunjin’s popularity. “I was actually supposed to leave today, but I couldn’t miss our annual gathering! It’s good to see you guys.”
What a liar. You had to bite your lips not to laugh at his words.
Juwon cleared his throat and averted his attention on you. Hell no. “You look different.” For once, it didn’t sound like an insult but you were still weary of him. No nice words coming out of his mouth could make you forget what kind of asshole he was. And you had a hard time to believe that he had actually changed.
“Do I?” You did look different from the past. You used not to care about your looks. Who cared how you looked as long as you had good grades? You certainly didn’t. Neither did your friends. But it changed. Ever since you started working at your art gallery, you understood the importance of how others perceived you. You learnt to do your makeup right. You took care of your long hair. And you changed your whole wardrobe. You got classier. And maybe tonight you put an extra effort to look good. Not that you needed to impress anyone, but you did it anyway.
“It suits you!” Another woman commented, genuinely excited. You couldn’t remember her name but you thanked her with a smile.
Yeji eyed you from the other side of the big table, thumbs up, her eyes telling you silently ‘told you so’. You ignored her. Just because you could.
“I wonder with what kind of man you ended.” Juwon was too curious for his own good.
“Oh come on.” Seoah laughed as if the idea of you dating was ridiculous. “I bet she’s still single.”
How typical of her to assume. Not that she was wrong, but her comment still pissed you. Did she think you were still the same woman as back in college? Just because right at this moment, you were indeed single, didn’t mean you refused dating. You did and got tired of it. Every relationship you had, always started nice, romantic even, but always ended the same way: you breaking up with the guy. They were nice men who truly cared for you but there was just something missing.
However, before you could share a piece of your mind with Seoah, you were interrupted.
“Sorry guys, I’m late!”
That voice.
That stupidly, annoying voice. Your whole body reacted; you shuddered, unable to breath, unable to think properly.
Kim Seungmin.
Here came a man you wished you could avoid for the rest of your life. You knew, your hatred for him was irrational. Compare to others, he had never done anything to you. Seungmin never mocked you, never made any bad comments. But he was your rival. No matter how hard you worked, no matter how many hours you spent in the library, studying, he still beat you every single time. It drove you crazy. But what made everything tenths time worse was the fact that Seungmin quickly caught on your little game and it amused him. You hated him for that too.
“You’re right on time!” Juwon pushed a chair for him. “We’ve been discussing Y/N’s love life!” His gaze slid to you and smirked. “Or lack of it.” Yep. Still an asshole, you were right.
Seungmin quirked a brow at Juwon’s words. You felt his eyes on you. On your face, on your neck, on your arms. Your skin burned under his gaze but you refused to acknowledge his presence for the sake of your sanity.
Maybe a tiny part of you expected Seungmin to comment Juwon’s words, maybe even laugh at it. But he did none of that. Instead you felt him only closer to you which made your unease grow with every passing seconds.
“Do you mind if we switch places?” Seungmin asked the girl beside you, taking the two of you completely off guard.
You opened your mouth, a protest on the tip of your tongue but the girl beside you was faster. She hurried to leave her spot. Seungmin flashed her a pretty smile and sat right next to you. Despite you wanting to avoid him, now that he sat so close to you, your arm brushing his, there was no escape. Now that you were staring right into his pretty, annoying, eyes, you knew: you were fucked.
“As for what you said Juwon. Lack of love life?” Seungmin repeated his words. He moved a little closer to you and before you could push him away, he wrapped an arm around your shoulders, bringing you against him. “How come you didn’t tell them about us, babe?”
Loud gasps followed by whispers.
What.
What the actual fuck?!
If from outside you looked perfectly composed, at least to those who didn’t know you well enough, inside you were completely freaking out. His words made no sense. His body, his warmth that should have repelled you, felt actually nice.
Kim Seungmin was trying to help you. You heard him. You understood what he was saying but you didn’t understand why. You weren’t friends, not even close and you hadn’t seen each other for so long. I’ll deal with you later.
Something was wrong with you too because instead of pushing him away, you leant into him and accepted his help. “Because they wouldn’t have believed me. Should I remind you that we used to hate each other?” You reminded him and playfully poked his side.
Seungmin leaned closer, his lips so close to yours – you gulped but didn’t avert your eyes from his face. How annoyingly pretty he looked with his eyes shining brightly with mischief. Fine, he was helping you but he was clearly having fun too.
“Wrong.” He said and kissed the corner of your lips.
Gasps again.
Your heart skipped a beat. The corner of your lips tingled and you found yourself wishing his lips had stayed longer. What the actual fuck, Y/N. This whole night was a terrible idea and you kept making bad decisions. Getting drunk and hoping to forget everything seemed like a good idea right now.
“I never hated you.” He added and pulled back to face the others as if he hadn’t just dropped a bomb at them. And at you. “What’s up?”
And just like that they started talking again. But you heard none of that. All you could hear was the sound of your roaring heart. All you could feel was the lingering feeling of his lips. All you could think about was Seungmin and this thing going on between the two of you tonight. ‘I never hated you.’ Fine. Maybe he never did but you weren’t on best terms either. You wanted to take him outside and talk to him. Was it his attempt at messing with you? Or was he really just being genuinely nice?
You noticed Hyunjin and Yeji staring at you, questions in their eyes. You didn’t blame them. They had to know none of it was real, they were your best friends. You wouldn’t have hidden something as big as dating Kim Seungmin from them.
“And you Yeji?” Seungmin’s voice brought you back from your reverie. “I heard your new song, it’s really nice.” You wanted to concentrate on what he was saying since he was talking about your friend. You couldn’t. Not when he put his hand on your thigh. Not when he made it look so natural. Not when, despite it happening under the table, it attracted attention on the two of you again.
It should feel wrong. In fact, you should be appalled by his boldness. You didn’t. It felt awfully nice. And right. Instead of pushing him away, you simply watch him talking. You didn’t want to admire his face but it was hard not to. Even if you weren’t fond of him, you weren’t blind. Kim Seungmin was handsome. Pretty eyes, pretty nose and even prettier mouth. Without realizing it, you licked your lips, wondering how it would feel against yours. Or at any other part of your body.
Oh my god. Did they put something in my drink? There’s no way I’m thinking about him. But you were.
Seungmin squeezed your thigh, the palm of his hand feeling suddenly too hot against your skin. He forgot all about his friends and leant closer. “If you keep staring at me like that we might have a problem.” He warned you.
Your breath caught in your throat and you couldn’t ignore how your face flushed. “When did you get so bold?” You whispered in return.
Seungmin smiled in response. A smile so beautiful, so bright, you wanted to keep it for yourself.
“Growing up does that to a person.” He whispered, his lips brushed your ear. “And also, you look really pretty tonight.”
You couldn’t stop the blush from spreading all over your face even if you tried.
Kim Seungmin was a menace. But a very beautiful and annoying one.
“Okay, that’s enough.” One of the guy groaned. “Get a room. Some of us are sadly single and you two are just disgusting.”
Seungmin laughed heartily and unfortunately for you pulled away from you. A tiny part of you was relieved for the space, but another part of you almost whined at the loss of his warmth. Yeah, there was something wrong with you.
****
Somehow you managed to survive through the whole meal without a fight, without people trying to mess with you. In fact, you even managed to laugh a few times and it wasn’t just because of your friends’ jokes. And maybe it had everything to do with Seungmin.
“Should I drive you home?” Hyunjin whispered to your ear, making sure that nobody heard you.
It was the plan. You came with them and you were supposed to leave with them. You glanced at Seungmin and you couldn’t believe yourself: you were hesitating. You could leave with your friends but then you wouldn’t be able to talk to him and have a chance to thank him for his help.
Seungmin was faster to react. “I’ll take her home. Right babe?” He grabbed your jacket from your chair and waited for you.
Hyunjin rolled his eyes at his words, tempted to pull you back against him. You patted his back. “I should go with Seungmin.”
Hyunjin cocked a brow, surprised with your answer. You gave him a small smile and promised to text him and Yeji later.
Seungmin waited for you. Your body moved on its own accord. When you were close enough, Seungmin helped you to put your jacket on. You were thankful he couldn’t see your flushed face.
“There. All good.” He told you. “Are you ready?”
You were not.
***
You didn’t want the drive to your place to be awkward but it was. You didn’t know how to start the conversation with him. You knew nothing about this Kim Seungmin or how to deal with him.
“Thank you for tonight.” You said awkwardly without looking at him.
From the corner of your eyes you saw him glance at you. You expected him to make a comment, to make it easier for you but he didn’t. He returned his attention to the road. Damn him.
You sighed and slumped further into your seat. “I still don’t understand why you helped me.” This time, you looked at him.
Seungmin shrugged. “They were being dicks for no good reason.”
True, they were but it wasn’t anything new. Seungmin never stood up for you before so why now? “You didn’t need to pretend though.” He could have said anything but no, he chose to play your fake boyfriend instead.
Seungmin parked the car by the entrance of your building and then fully faced you. His eyes sparked with delight and something else. “I admit; it wasn’t my plan. But then, I had one look at you and couldn’t help myself.”
You huffed and crossed your arms over your chest. “So you were messing with me.”
“Maybe a little.”
So damn infuriating. You hurried to unbuckle your seatbelt and opened the door.
“I wasn’t joking you know.” Seungmin stopped you with his words, realizing that if he wanted for you to talk to him, he needed to be genuine. “I never hated you.” He sighed and ruffled his hair in frustration. “I loved how competitive you were. When I realized how clever you were, it pushed me to work harder, to make sure I stayed on the top. And maybe to annoy you a little too. I remember how you used to scrunch your nose whether you saw I got a better grade than you. So adorable.” He smiled at the memory.
Seungmin left you speechless. Why was he making it sound like he was actually fond of you? And why the hell did his words melted you on the spot? You needed to hurry up; grab your purse and leave this car before you did something unthinkable. But as you stepped outside of his car, your body froze, refusing to leave. I’m losing my mind, that’s it.
“Give me your phone.” You turned back and outstretched your hand. It was a bad idea. Terrible idea. But then again, it was just another one to add to the list of bad ideas. Who cared?
Seungmin didn’t hesitate. Not even for a second as if he had been waiting for this moment for ages. You refused to delve on the matter as you quickly saved your number in his phone. “Call me when you want.”
‘And maybe soon.’ But you didn’t say it.
***
You barely made it inside your flat – your phone rang with an unknown number. You stared at your phone, your heart skipping a beat. You didn’t want to think it could be Seungmin. But were you hoping? Maybe.
“Hi.” You instantly recognized his gentle voice.
You couldn’t help it. You chuckled at his eagerness. “You know, usually people wait few days to call back.”
“Open your door.”
Your eyes widened in shock. Too taken aback, you did as he asked without thinking. And here he was. “Did you follow me?!”
Seungmin smiled sheepishly and put his phone back in his pocket. “Sorry. I-“
Was he nervous? “What are you doing, Seungmin?”
Seungmin took a deep breath and took a step inside your flat. The right thing to do would be to tell him to leave. It was too soon and you weren’t in the right mind. You did none of that.
“I’m desperate.” He admitted.
Your breath hitched in your throat as he got closer to you. You knew that if you let him get too close to you, something could happen. And you didn’t completely dislike the idea. Seungmin halted right before you. His eyes blazed with so much intensity, you gulped nervously.
Gently, Seungmin took your hand and pulled it toward him to press against his chest. You jolted, surprised to feel his heartbeat. Wild. Strong. And his hand so warm. “I was a coward in college and missed my chance. I can’t do it a second time, Y/N. I can’t let you slip between my fingers again.”
Your eyes darted back and forth between your hand against his chest and his eyes. “Are you confessing, Seungmin?”
“What if I am?” He dared you, his grip on your hand tightened. Maybe a little part of him was actually scared of rejection. But he held strong.
You could pull away from him and forget his words.
You could, but you didn’t.
His words stirred something inside you. It made you curious. What if instead of looking for a guy that was nice, you went for the guy who loved to compete with you? A guy who, without you even realizing it, pushed you to be the best version of yourself? You had nothing to lose. So you did something completely out of your character. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pressed your body against his, feeling all of him against you. His body strong and firm against you.
“I’d say you need to show me just how much you like me.”
Seungmin growled at your words and instead of answering you, he claimed your mouth. So eager. So desperate. There was nothing sweet about this kiss and you didn’t mind. Seungmin poured years of frustration and need into the kiss. Poured all his feelings, his longing and you gladly took it all.
You moved through the room without breaking the kiss until your thighs met the edge of your table. You didn’t think twice as you sat on top of it, spreading your legs for him to settle against you. You felt it then, how hard he was, how much he wanted you. You would be lying if you said you weren’t wet and excited for what he could do to you.
Seungmin broke the kiss and pressed his forehead against yours. “Are you sure?”
You thought it was sweet that he still tried to control himself. That he still wanted to make sure you were comfortable with him touching you. If only he knew how bad you needed him right now. “Hundred per cent sure.” You confirmed and pecked his nose.
“Well then,” Seungmin’s lips moved from your cheek to the corner of your mouth, to your jaw. “I think I want a dessert.” He kissed your shoulder and gently slid the straps of your dress exposing your aching breasts. “So beautiful.” He licked his way from one breast to another – he took one of your breasts in his mouth, playing with you, teasing you.
You moaned softly, your hand nestled in his hair, you pushed his head against your chest. You were right, his mouth felt perfect against your skin and you thought it would be so easy to get addicted. “Touch me.” You begged, the throbbing between your legs getting too much.
“I’m touching you.” He teased, knowing damn well where you needed him the most.
“Seungmin.” You groaned and tug at his hair.
He groaned and bit playfully on your nipple. “Be nice.” With that he hiked your dress higher. He grabbed your panties and tore them off you.
You gasped loudly. “Did you just tear my panties?!”
He chuckled. “Sorry.” He was definitely not sorry judging by his smirk. You took note to make him pay later for it.
Seungmin spread your legs wider and licked his lips at your exposed pussy glistening with your wetness. “Look at that. Already so wet and I barely touched you.” He teased your sweet pussy by dragging a finger from your clit to your entrance, loving how you shivered at this simple touch.
“Seungmin, please.” You begged shamelessly and pushed your hips, needing to feel more.
“Do you want that?” He pushed his fingers deep inside you. So easily. In and out. Slower at first and then faster, watching as you threw your head back, your lips parted. Your soft moans filled the room and it was the sweetest melody to his ears.
Slowly, Seungmin dropped to his knees. Your dizzy mind barely registered what he was doing – he gently scraped his teeth over your clit. He knew exactly what he was doing. The moment he wrapped his lips around your clit, you lost it.  A loud moan escaped your lips. He feasted on you eagerly; his mouth, his fingers, he was slowly driving you crazy and you could only beg for more.
“Oh my god, Seungmin.” You mewled and ground against his face.
He was good. Too good. His mouth was divine. He worked his magic so well, you could feel your orgasm so close you could taste it.
“I’m so close. Please.”
Seungmin hummed against your pussy. “Come then.”
And you did. Your whole body trembled as your orgasm washed over you. But he didn’t stop. Seungmin kept sucking on your clit, enjoying how you writhed and tried to pull him away from you, too sensitive from your orgasm.
Seungmin straightened up and slowly pulled out his fingers from your pussy. He watched you, smiling lazily as he brought his fingers to his mouth and sucked on them.
“Shit.” You clenched around nothing at the sight. He shouldn’t be allowed to look so sinful.
You grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him into another bruising kiss, tasting yourself on his lips. “I need you inside me right now.”
“So bossy.” He chuckled, “What if I want to play more with you?”
You considered it for a moment. You wouldn’t mind him playing with you. But right now, you wanted him buried deep inside you. You wanted him to fuck you so hard you wouldn’t remember why in the hell you considered him as your enemy for so long. Wanted him to fuck you so hard you wouldn’t remember your name.
You reached between your bodies and started working on his belt and then his zipper. “You’ll have plenty of opportunities to play with me later.”
Seungmin arched a brow, amused with your confession. “Will I?”
“Hell yeah.” You grabbed his cock. He was hard and angry and dripping pre-cum. You salivated at the sight. Kim Seungmin was perfect and you were dying to find out how hard he could ruin you. “Please, wreck me?” You asked as nicely as you could manage.
Seungmin shook his head, laughing fondly. “How can I say no to you?”
Seungmin drove into you. One deep thrust that made you grab his arms, holding for your dear life.
“Fuck.” You moaned and tried to compose yourself. He felt perfect, stretching you, filling you just like you needed.
Seungmin dragged his cock slowly at first, letting you time to adjust and maybe also trying to compose himself. Despite all his talk about playing, he couldn’t deny how badly he wanted to lose control and drive you mad. “You were made for me, Y/N.” He grunted, his control slipping little by little. “Fuck.”
“Don’t hold back, please.” Who cared if he ruined you? Who cared if you couldn’t walk tomorrow? You didn’t.
And he didn’t. Seungmin slammed back into you. His thrusts hard. Deep. Reaching all the right spots. Making you cry out his name. Making you whimper. “You are so fucking perfect.” He hissed as you clenched around him.
“Please, please, please.” You didn’t know what you begged for anymore. Was for him to go harder? To go deeper? To slow down? You couldn’t tell. Your mind was overwhelmed. Your body was burning.
Seungmin kept a brutal rhythm, his thrusts vicious, his grip on your body strong, fingers digging into your skin. It would leave marks and you could only wish for more. Let the world see that someone made you feel so good. Let the world see that you belonged to him.
His hand reached between your bodies and rubbed your clit. There was no escape. You came in a loud cry, wildly, explosively, your body shaking. Seungmin fucked you through your orgasm, his thrusts getting sloppier, his grunts louder, seeking his own release.
You wrapped your arms around his neck and claimed his mouth, swallowing his groan as he came deep inside you, trembling against you.
Seungmin rested his head in the crook of your head, panting. For a moment, you didn’t talk and savored just the moment and the press of your sweaty bodies. It felt nice. It felt good. Perfect.
With your orgasm came clarity. “Why haven’t we done it sooner?” You laughed.
Seungmin bit on your collarbone in response. “Because we had other priorities in college.”
That you did. “What a shame.” You sighed dramatically. “Guess we have some serious catch up to do, don’t you think?”
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save-the-villainous-cat · 9 months ago
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What about a sub!villain who tries to play the part of the suave, dominant villain cause they’re afraid of vulnerability… and an actually dominant hero who sees through it and flips the script. Could it also be spicy please?
Also, your writing is amazing and it makes my day better! Thank you so much for sharing it! I send you hugs!
"You may think you're deceptive. But you are not." The end of the villain's dagger nearly buried its way into their own skin. Although the villain couldn't recall when the hero had gotten a hold of it during the fight, they were quite pleased with the result. (The result being the hero on top of them, still panting from the fight.) "Your effort is quite delightful, though."
The villain cracked a smile.
"Oh, you want to ravage me so bad..."
"Your imagination doesn't even come close to how bad I truly want that," the hero answered.
There was something in their presence that stirred the villain in an exciting way. Was it their body? Their personality? Their morals and their desires? Usually, the villain considered themselves to be talented when it came to reading people and analyzing the relationships they had with them.
For better or worse, it was different with the hero. More confusing. More dangerous.
At this point, the villain was playing with fire - they didn't know exactly what their relationship with the hero was nor where they stood.
"I loathe you for being my only weakness." The hero let the blade dig into the villain's chin until they looked up. "And destroying you would probably bring me some peace."
"Oh." The villain had never heard such a blunt statement coming from the hero. At least not something this personal and...open. It nearly made the villain sick to their stomach how casually the hero had mentioned it.
Slowly, the hand which wasn't holding onto the dagger travelled up the villain's arm until those cursed fingertips found a shaking wrist and grabbed it.
"But what am I without you? What is Orpheus without his muse?"
"You're so charming today..." The villain tried to sound as flirty as they could but their voice was inexplicably trembling.
When had the hero decided to be so horrible and seduce the villain? And why on earth was it working?
"How does that make you feel?" the hero asked, their voice nothing more than a whisper. They freed their index finger from their grip around the villain's wrist and slowly, agonizingly, let it travel upwards. The villain took in a sharp breath, surprised by the hero's actions.
It felt a little too intimate. Nearly immoral.
The villain felt quite stupid for blushing, after all, it was just the hero's finger rubbing against their palm and their breath on the villain's neck.
"I'm..." The villain tried to concentrate but it wasn't that easy anymore. They closed their eyes, close to defeat already. "Sorry, what do you mean?"
Did the hero have to level their weight on the villain's hips? Did they have to say these things? Startle the villain like that? Couldn't they just flirt, try to kill each other and go home after?
Did the hero have to whisper something this close to a confession into the villain's ear?
"How does it feel to be my only weakness?" the hero murmured. Their grip loosened and slowly, their hand began their conquest towards the villain's fingers. "How does it feel to mean so much to me? To occupy my thoughts during the day? And my dreams during the night?"
Hell, the hero was dreaming about them?
"What are you doing...?" Suddenly, the hero let their fingers entwine, squeezing gently and for whatever reason, the villain took in a quick breath.
"I believe we both know you crave a superficial relationship. Something that makes you feel superior and secure. But I can tell you from personal experience that those relationships don't work out in the long run. They will make you feel miserable. They will make you feel worthless. If I want you, I will want you bare. And there is nothing I desire more." Their lips were close to the villain's. "In your own time, of course. You strip. Figuratively and literally, obviously."
"I- You-"
"I am always willing to help, though." The hero smirked lazily and squeezed the villain's hand. "There is no reason to feel ashamed. Or to feel weak. After all, you have me in your hand."
The villain couldn't say anything.
It had started as a normal fight. With the usual flirting.
And now, the villain was actually thinking about opening up to someone. To talk about all their horrible fears and the self-doubt. About all their mistakes and regrets.
This had to be some new weapon or master plan to turn the villain into a good person. Whatever it was, the villain feared they would think about this encounter for the months to come.
"I will keep this, though," the hero announced. They held up the villain's dagger and pushed themselves off the villain. "Everyone needs a memento of their beloved, don't they?"
All the villain could do was stare as the hero blew them a kiss and vanished into the night.
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dearhargrove · 1 year ago
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Please pls pls write for Eddie Diaz🥺
Sleepover
Eddie Diaz x reader
summary You're on the way to pick up your son, Liam, but it's hard to get him to go home when he's begging to sleepover at his new friends house. Turns out you don't mind as much when you met said kid and his dad.
word count 995
tags fluff, reader simping over Eddie, kind of open ending
a/n I got this idea randomly so I hope you like this <3
part two
masterlist
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“Liam!” You call out when you spot your eight year old son busy playing with another kid. Usually whenever he heard you he'd come running; with every year he turns older you expect his clinging to reduce but it never does. Not like you mind, he may be eight now but he's still your baby.
But today he just glances and waves before continuing to giggle and talk with his new friend.
You're surprised as he usually never stuck with one kid, most of the time he'd even stay by himself. It worried you, even when you figured he just preferred to be by himself and did it by choice and not because he was left out.
One of the teachers at the side shrugs with a smile after seeing Liam and his new friend.
You approach them and put a hand on Liams back before bending down and kissing the top of his head. “Hey, buddy. Did you make a new friend?”
He grins and nods eagerly, “Chris! We've been playing all day. He's my best friend!” You chuckle at the eager introduction and wave at Chris, who looked almost shy if not for the cute grin.
“Well in that case, it's nice to meet you, Chris.” He politely holds out his hand, “It's nice to meet you too, ma'am.” He says quietly and slowly. You melt on the spot and gently shake his hand.
Your son stands up quick enough to knock the top of his head into your chin, leaving you to grunt in pain as he excitedly bounces in his spot. “I have to sleepover at Chris' house!”
Your eyebrows raise as the two boys continue making plans about tonight. You don't want to be the killjoy but for one you had never met the other parents nor had they met you. Otherwise you would've easily agreed; you were just happy Liam had finally made a friend.
“Alright, boys, I'm afraid this won't work out… We don't even know if Chris parents are going to agree,” you say and pointedly look at your son who's about to pout (you couldn't resist him and you would not let him make you feel bad about making a reasonable decision).
“My dad will say yes. He always says yes.” Chris says seriously and pushes his glasses up with his index. You smile as both of them look at you with equally big, pleading eyes.
“I will say yes to what?”
You almost give yourself whiplash with how fast you turn around because whose voice is that sexy? You'd never heard anyone talking that attractive.
And surely when you look at him you basically faint. Brown hair that seemed to be a grown out buzz cut, brown eyes and white teeth with a grin that makes your heart actually stop for a second.
“Sleepover!” Liam yells and then turns shy when the man looks at him with a smile that should be illegal to look that good. “A sleepover? That sounds exciting.” He gets even more attractive in your eyes when he leans over and kisses Chris’ head in greeting. So he was great with kids too? Wow.
He then fixes his gaze on you and you do everything in your power not to fluster as he rakes his eyes over you and back up to look right into yours. “Hey, I'm Eddie. Chris is my son.” He extends his hand and you shake it before remembering to introduce yourself as well.
He smiles at you through it and if it wasn't for Liam gently clinging to your hand as he and Chris watch you and Eddie talk you'd have actually lost it.
“So these two want to have a sleepover?” The boys both yell in agreement and you laugh, shushing your son a bit. Eddie looks at you with a questioning look and you shrug your shoulders. He had something trustful about him and with the way he acted with both the kids he already checked a few boxes.
But still, this was your son and you wouldn't leave him overnight with - practically - a stranger.
“My dad is a firefighter, he will protect us.” Chris mentions and you look at Eddie in surprise. He chuckles a bit bashfully but nods, “I'm with the 118.” You hum in recognition, “I work at the dispatch center.” He looks surprised now and you chuckle as he comments, “That's a coincidence.”
After that conversation flows easy and after probably fifteen minutes is Liam who pulls your sleeve with an impatient pout. You coo and pick him up with ease, letting him wrap his arms around your neck as he sleepily rests against you.
“Chris is clingy too, I feel like I shouldn't be indulging him so much, but…” Eddie starts and you see him ruffling Chris’ hair with a fond look as the boy looks at his dad with pure adoration.
“It's hard to resist. Yeah, same here.” You hum and both of you laugh a bit.
The teacher takes note of both the kids being picked up and you start walking to the parking lot after getting the backpacks. Chris is on crutches you note and slow your steps for him to comfortably keep up.
“Sleepover?” Liam asks again after - you were quite sure - a nap. Eddie tilts his head and looks at you, giving you the chance to decide.
Wow. So far he's more than just a green flag.
“How about we do a few meet ups first?” You suggest and both boys groan but ultimately agree.
Eddie nods and after letting Chris into the car he turns back to you and holds out his phone with a small smile, “Just so we can, you know, organize their play dates.”
Your heart actually stops for a second before resuming twice as fast and you take his phone to put your contact in.
“I'll see you around.” You smile and wave, Eddie grinning too as he waves and gets in the car.
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lilbitdepressed27 · 6 months ago
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Alcina Dimitrescu/Fem!Reader
Summary: One where it's a zombie apocalypse you get separated from your wife and daughters.
Warnings: none I think
WC: 4.1k
Author's Note: probably gonna write more for the beautiful tall lady again. A little bit of The last of us in here. Sorry for any mistakes :)
"Draga come back to bed." Your wife mumbled sleepily as you leaned down to kiss her on the head.
"Sorry baby. My sergeant called said it's an emergency. Something about a riot downtown. They need all hands on deck." At the mention of you being in potential danger your wife was wide awake. She sat up, seeing that you were already dressed up and ready to go in your police officer uniform. You had a apologetic smile as you looked down at her. It was supposed to be your day off. But in a situation like this. Every officer was called in.
"Be careful. Please call me when you get a chance. Even if it's a simple text." You could see the worry in her eyes.
"Of course I will. I love you and I'll be back before you know it. It's probably some of those dumb 'alpha males' at it again." You joked and leaned down kissing her on the lips.
"I love you too." She had gotten up to walk you out. Her sleep long forgotten. You had gently kissed your daughters on the head as they slept before leaving.
Alcina had watched you drive off with a knot in her throat. She had always hated when you were called away like this. She knew it was serious. If it weren't you wouldn't have been called. She had always worried about you when it came to your job.
She worked as a lawyer. She knew you didn't have to worry as much as she did. Did you worry? Of course you did. But just not on Alcina's level.
She walked back into the house after your truck was no longer in her eye sight.
*
"On news 10 today the riots have been growing down in the Los Angeles area. Riots have grown in other cities as well. San Francisco, San Diego, New York City, Chicago, Phoenix AZ, Philadelphia, Dallas TX, San Jose CA, Sacramento CA, Miami FL. We have not figured out the reason behind these riots but the state of California and local authorities are strongly advising to stay in your homes for your own safety, if you live in these areas."
Alcina had just turned on the tv after she had taken a shower seeing that it was no point trying to go back to sleep.
"Mom where's mama?" At the sound of her youngest daughter entering the living room she looked away from the tv to the red head. The ten year old was rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
"She was called into work sweetheart. Come here."
Daniela flopped on to her mother, cuddling up to the taller woman.
"But I thought it was her day off?"
"I know sweetie but there was something her sergeant had to talk to her about." Alcina held her daughter close to her as she looked back to the news reporter.
"We are going live to the riots in downtown Los Angeles with Maria Ascott. To you Maria."
"Thank you Jill. The riots here have made a turn for the worst. We had to get off the streets due to how violent the people were getting. LAPD have stopped using rubber bullets and gone straight to lethal force. Thing is that some of the people have become completely vicious. They are biting officers and even other people in the crowd. I can't believe what I'm seeing. They just won't stay dow-" The camera had turned at a loud explosion and more shooting.
"Mom? Is mama okay?"
Alcina wanted to be honest but she didn't know. Before she could make a move to call you. Her phone rang, a picture of you smiling at the camera lit up the phone. She quickly picked up the phone not even letting the phone ring for a second time.
"Draga are you okay?" She stood up from the couch, her concern growing as she heard the shouts and shooting from your side of the phone. She had put the phone on speaker phone when Daniela motioned her to put it on.
"Yes I'm fine Alci. I need you listen to me. Get the girls and the guns from my safe. Pack what ever we could need. Be quick. We need to get out of the city. Now. There's no time to explain. Get the girls. Now Alcina. I'll be there in about fifteen minutes." The line cut off before Alcina could respond.
"Daniela get you sisters and tell them to pack what ever we could need. Now darling."
They both moved quick around the house. Packing a bag of clothes with toiletries. Bela and Cassandra didn't know what was going on but did as what their mother said. Seeing how serious her mother and younger sister were being.
Alcina moved quickly packing her own bag and yours. With anything they'd need. She moved to pack a big duffel bag from your gun safe. You always had been one to have guns. It was something Alcina had hated cause of the kids but you had put them in a safe. Where only you and herself could access them. From hand guns to rifles and shotguns. She didn't know what to pack. But from what she saw on the news. She new it was serious. So she packed as much as she could with ammunition and guns. Leaving the gun safe empty.
"Babe!? Girls!?"
"Draga.." Alcina words got stuck in her mouth when she saw you uniform torn and and with blood. She cupped your cheeks as she looked you over.
"I'm okay but we have to go. We'll go to the family cabin. It's secluded enough. Donna and Angie are on their way there. Karl is there already with your mother and brother. Come on."
"Mama what's going on." Bela asked once Cassandra and herself put all their bags in the Escalade.
"I'll explain everything on the way to our cabin. Come on."
The family moved rapidly, leaving their home. Not knowing that It'd be last time they saw it as a whole.
*
You were one to always follow the rules. Seeing as you were a cop after all. You took pride in doing what you did. Putting bad guys behind bars. Helping your wife and her law firm putting bad people bad guys away for a long time. But you were also used to speeding down the streets. Running stop lights and stop signs. What you were not used to was having your family in the same car as you did those things. You knew the risks of driving fast down the roads. Anything could happen. But you knew. You knew that you had to get your family out of the city. After seeing the things you saw. It wasn't safe. You weren't even sure if the cabin was safe.
"Y/n tell me what's going on. Is this cause of that sickness going around?" Your wife spoke for the first time since getting in the car. She had been too distracted by the chaos happening outside of the vehicle.
"It's not just a sickness. Sergeant had a friend in the cdc, it's some type of virus, the scientist used the word fungus. A fungus that only effected ants-Cordyceps we learned about in school. You gotta be joking? How come it wasn't on the news?" Your daughter Cassandra spoke from the middle seat.
"The cdc tried to control it in Seattle. The government had locked down Seattle in a matter of minutes when the first signs of infection were shown in Seattle's Lake Hill hospital. It spread faster than they had hoped. Before they knew it had spread all through out Seattle. They couldn't contain it. They still don't know how it spread all through out the United States." You swerved out of the way of the two collided cars. Using the sidewalk to escape the lines of cars. Refusing to take your eyes off the road. You knew there were going to be road blocks put by the military. It was why you chose the back roads. The cabin was a good two days away. But with this amount of traffic it would probably take longer.
You thanked everything in you for getting the four wheel drive and for not living too in the city. So going off road was the best option you had.
"Mom?"
"We can't be seen by the military. Their orders are shoot to kill." It was why you hoping to avoid the road blocks and roads in general.
*
You were only a good day away from the cabin. It had been in the middle of the night the dirt road empty when a trucks lights suddenly turned on, catching you by surprise and blinding you momentarily. You had no time to react, the truck rammed into your side of the car pushing the truck forcefully towards the ledge. The force had caused you to hit the side of your head against the window. The screams of your girls had been muffled as the truck tipped and rolled down the slope.
Your ears ringed as you checked on alcina and the girls. The voices stilled muffled as you tried to ignore the pain of your side. You had to gather yourself and get your family away from who ever was driving that truck.
"Alcina come on get up. Girls?"
"We're okay mama."
"Mama you're bleeding." Cassandra's voice filled with concern, finally sounded clear.
"I'm okay baby. We go get out of the truck. Use the truck as cover. Do not peak from the sides. Bela get my gun bag, Dani baby get the bag with the med-kits and supplies we could need." You gently shook Alcina. Desperately trying to wake her up. The sound of her gasp, was only a moment of relief as you head a distant noise of shouting.
"Come on baby, are you okay?" You used your knife to cut her seat belt catching her before she could hit the ground.
"Oh draga, you're bleeding. Are the girls okay?"
"They're fine. Come on we have to go." You helped your family out of the vehicle, noticing the gas leaking from the tank. The sounds of shouting we're getting closer. You checked over Alcina seeing that she was okay other than scratches on her.
"Alcina listen to me. I'll draw them away from-No. We have to stick together." Alcina was quick to shut down the idea. But she saw the look in your eyes. Her eyes filled with tears as she heard the sounds of voices only getting closer.
You sighed, taking the gun you had trained her with. Making sure it was loaded. The girls had trained with you as well, they knew how to handle a gun. They knew gun safety. You handed the gun to Alcina. "You have to go, keep our girls safe. I'll see you soon. There's no time for arguments. You know as much as I do those people aren't going to think twice when they see us. I'll lead them away from you and our girls. And catch to you when it's safe. Now go."
The girls protested as well. But Alcina knew you were right. With tears in her eyes she took a step back as you pushed her towards the opposite direction. "Y/n."
"Do not stop till you get to the cabin. Do not hesitate when you pull that trigger." Your voice was strong but yet she heard how it wobbled. You kissed the girls head.
"Go, now."
As the shots you fired had the men stumbling for cover as your family disappeared into the dark woods. You stepped away from the truck as far as you could as the men grew closer shooting their own guns in your direction. Completely missing the four getting away. As they grew closer you shot your gun in the direction of the gas leaking the force of the explosion throwing you back against the tree. Rendering you unconscious.
*
(20 Years Later)
Alcina looked back at the little town. The walls they've built were slowly spreading. Slowly growing, all the town needed know was some electricity if they could ever get the damn power plant to work again. As she looked back down at the planes she had scattered in front of her, her wondered. After all these years her mind went back to that day.
How much she regretted leaving you. How her heart screamed at her to go back when she heard the explosion. But she pushed on. With the hope that you would be right behind them.
Her hopes had come crashing down when the day passed and they arrived at the cabin. Her family was there but you had not arrived. The girls cried as they waited for you but you never came. The day passed and she went back. Karl going with her. The burned bodies were fresh there had been a few a total of six. All too burned to be recognizable. But then she saw the gun. Your hand gun she knew it was yours. She picked up the gun seeing the familiar serial numbers. The gun was not far from the burnt body.
"Mom, we have some scouters out west saying something about a storm coming. We have to reinforce the wall on the west side just in case some infected wonder from the west." The voice of her eldest daughter brought her back to the present.
"It's already in order Bela. Have you had any updates on your sister?" Her eldest had grown into a being a strong and smart woman.
"Yes, Daniella and uncle Karl are making sure that the men working on the power plant are protected from the raiders and infected." Bela stood straight paying close attention to her mother. Ever since that day she knew her mother had not been the same. She her mother had tried to be strong for her and her sisters. But she saw the sadness in her mother. The sadness that refused to leave. She herself longed to see her mama again but it had been ten years now.
You were gone.
Died trying to keep them safe.
*
After all these years, you still looked for your family. The anger you had for yourself had been so immense. You remember that day like it had been yesterday. The errors of it all keeping you up at night. After you knocked out that day. You had woken up in cell room along with some others. It clearly didn't take long for humanity to fall. Those men weren't military just a gang looking for victims.
It had taken you and few others too long to break out of that camp. By the time you did it had been two months since you last saw your family. You remember the urgency to get to the cabin. It had taken you two days to get the cabin seeing that the FEDRA was only growing. You had to sneak, not risking being seen and shot.
Nothing could have prepared you for what you saw once you did arrive at the cabin.
The cabin empty, destroyed half of the cabin had clearly caught fire. No signs of life, you had almost given up then and there. If it weren't for the fact that Karl's over the top survival truck was missing. It was a truck that he had always kept on the property grounds. He had been a clear lunatic when it came to preparing for the apocalypse.
That truck was set to only function on one set of keys. No hot wiring or anything could start that truck.
But that had been ten years ago. Ten years of searching for your family. You didn't know where to look. They could be dead for all you know, but knowing Karl, he always had a plan for this type of things. You just hoped that he kept your family safe.
"Y/n? You okay?"
Your attention was brought back to the kid standing next to you. You weren't sure where the two of you were headed. You had found this kid roaming not far from the outside of the walls. And well you had finally gotten the chance to sneak out of the said walls controlled by FEDRA. From there you just took her under your wing. Refusing to leave a fourteen year old to wonder by herself. Especially since the fourteen year old reminded you so much of your youngest.
You had an idea on where to go, a rumor of a town that was safe and secure. There were a few places you could check out.
"Yeah I'm okay kiddo, come on Wyoming isn't that far." You had been on the road for a year now, you had to find a safe place, winter had just passed and it was a strong and cold one. It had been brutal, the injury on your side still ached. But what ached more was what Ellie went through. Those crazy fucking cannibals and that fucking pe-You felt guilty for getting hurt, for making the young girl take on the burden of having to take care of you.
"Can you tell me about your family, what were they like?"
You couldn't help the smile and slight relief that she was talking again. "Oh just know you'd get along with my daughters. Cassandra my middle child she's just as much of a smart ass as you. My youngest Dani god, she's just as much of a jokester. And eldest Bela, well she's much more like her mother. Smart, patient, kind, she was- she'e twenty know. All of them twenty." You were quick to wipe the tear away.
"Alcina my wife, well I met her when we were both in elementary school. Man I fell in love with her the moment she walked into Ms.Luthor's second grade glass. Although I didn't know what I felt in that moment. I was her first friend and we stuck together like glue from then on. We didn't start dating till junior year. Want to see a picture?"
The excitement in those green eyes was hard to miss. You dug into your backpack taking out the journal that had a ziploc bag. Inside the bag was a picture of your family.
"Damn, that's your wife and kids, man they got all their looks from your wife huh." Ellie joked a snort and gentle shove was what she got in return.
The laugh escaping your lips, she had a point. "Shut up, now how about we cut through that power plant. It looks abandoned." Ellie laughed as she followed you down the path way that was now covered with over grown grass.
Ellie asked after a moment of silence as you both moved across the river leading to the power plant. "Do you really think that we'll find a place to call home?"
"I have hope. Just gotta believe kiddo. Let's go through here." You moved to pull on the large door, for it now to move. You pulled harder on it until you heard a familiar click. Reaching quickly for your side gun.
"Stop! Tell the girl to drop it as well."
At the sound of a deep voice you looked up to see quite a few guns pointing down at you and Ellie.
You stepped back knowing you had no other choice. "Ellie do as the lady says." Moving a bit closer to stand in front of Ellie, your hands still raised up. Hoping that they wouldn't shoot you. "We didn't know the place was occupied. We're just trying to get through, we want no trouble."
It was a tense moment of silence.
"They're alright."
"You know them?"
The sound of the big door sliding open. "I know her. She's my god damn sister in law."
The gate opened, and your eyes widen at the sight of Daniella and Karl. But your eyes couldn't tear themselves from your youngest daughter who was now a grown woman. Her baby features long gone.
"Mama?" Her voice was the same but yet so different.
"Dani."
The force of her hug had almost taken you down. Her cry as she hugged you tightly, you hugged her just as tightly. You couldn't believe that Daniela, your youngest daughter was back in your arms. After so many years of thinking that you'd never see her again had finally come to an end.
"Mama we thought you were dead. We went back. Mom went back to check with uncle Karl. We should have never left you mama. I'm so sorry. We looked for you, everywhere. We never stopped. I'm sorry—Daniela stop. It's not your fault. It's no one's fault. Just—" the sound of gunshots cut you off, your actions were quick. A whole lot faster than Daniela had been prepared for. You had taken her and Ellie to cover. Your own gun out and already shooting.
"Mama I can help."
You knew she could, you had taken her to cover without really realizing. "Sorry Dani force of habit. Ellie stay down okay kiddo."
The place lit up with more gun fire, all you could think about was keeping your girls safe and the need to see your two eldest and wife again.
*
"Mom raiders attacked the power plant again. There's some dead and a few injured. Uncle Karl and Dani radioed in, they're fine. Heading back as we speak." Cassandra spoke so fast Alcina didn't even have a second to panic. She was quick to get on her feet. Heading straight towards the gate. Cassandra and Bela right behind her.
By the time they made it to the gate, the gates were opening and in came in some of the power plant workers. Some caring the injured and others limping into the town. Her eyes searched the group looking for her idiot brother and her daughter.
Fear gripping her heart when she didn't see her youngest daughter at the end of the final people coming in.
"We would have been dead if it weren't for that woman."
"Oh man she was a one shot kill. Don't want to get on her bad side."
"She seemed to know Daniela and Karl."
She over heard some of the power plant workers say as they walked by. It wasn't till she saw Karl walk through the gate talking with a short auburn haired girl. Her hands were moving all over the place as she explained something. Karl for once had a gentle smile on his face as he listened. Relief washed over her body when she saw her little girl, her steps faltering when her eyes landed on who was standing next to Daniela.
You.
Her wife.
The wife she had thought she lost.
The wife she mourned to this day.
Was alive. Obviously looking a bit older but yet still as beautiful as the last time she saw you.
"Mama?!" The two older sister yelled in surprise, but their voice wobbling as they chocked back a sob. Her two eldest daughters ran towards their other mother who looked at them with so much love and guilt. Yet you hugged them tightly. Her eyes finding yours was what finally got her legs moving in such a pace that she couldn't remember doing. The feeling she had in her chest at seeing you once again. The love she had for you had never faltered. It never went away. If anything the love she had for her wife had only grown. There was no one she loved as deeply as you.
"Draga,"
It was the voice that you had dreamed of hearing. Your girls, your grown daughters pulled away. Watery smiles as they watched their parents reunite.
Hugging the slightly taller woman. To have her back in your arms as her shoulders shook from the barely concealed sobs. To have her hugging you just as tightly. She lightly pulled away cupping your cheeks in her hands. "Oh my love—"
The kiss had been one they both thought they'd never have. For it was the thought they both had feared and refused to accept. But now they both flourished to be in each other's again. To have their family reunited once again. To have the love they both shared still growing.
To be together once again as the apocalypse continued.
:)
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adams-angels · 1 year ago
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If you have the time ofc do you thing you can write a husk X fem reader pretty please like she was sad and he praised her and wrapped his wings around them while they fuck AH IM BLUSHING HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY🤭🤭
♦️of course I can try! I'm not a writer so I might write Husk all wrong and I'm so sorry if this isn't what you imagined! But still I hope you enjoy!♥️
💖 Please send me requests! Send me your own headcanons! I will draw! I'm obsessed rn!💖
Smut below the cut! Minors dni
Today was hard. Trying to be redeemed is hard! Who knew this?! You sure as hell wouldn't of signed up to his dumb hotel if you'd known this. Everything today went wrong and you're no closer at being heaven worth as you were before you started.
You walk into the hotel, slamming open the door. "Ugh." Heading straight to the bar where good ol' friendly Husk is. With a scowl on your face you slump into the bar stool. "Usual, Huskie." You request.
The cat like overlord watched you the whole way. Unimpressed. "Bit early for that don't you think?" His deep voice rumbled. "Listen, your the bartender and I'm the patron so booze me up." You demand, slamming your hand on the bar.
He pours you a drink, placing it down in front of you. You lick your lip and go to pick it up before he snatches it away and downs it. "Hey, what the hell!?" "What?" "You just drank my fucking drink?!" Your voice broke, it was all getting to much. "Give me a fucking drink, Husk!" "Tell me what's wrong first." "What?! What the hell kinda service is this?!" You yell. "Fuck you! Dumb cat, bird, fucking casino dick!" You push yourself away from the bar before storming upstairs to your bedroom. Wiping away any tears that escaped on the way.
You enter your room slamming the door shut like a child sulking. The noise can be heard throughout the hotel. Husk rolls his eyes and heads to the stairs, Charlie sees him on the way. "What was th-" Husk raises his hand to Charlie. "I'm on it."
There's a knock at your door. You wiped your eyes and sniffed. "Go away, Charlie." The voice behind the door speaks "Not Charlie." You look at the door in confusion and frustration. You look over in the mirror at your vanity table and try wiping off any running mascara. "What do you want?" You ask, trying to hold back tears. "Let me in. Let's talk." You groan. Why does he have to care? Does he care? Or is this just something he can bring up later.
You walk over to the door and open in before quick turning back into your room and sitting on your bed with your back to him. "Are you crying?" Husk asks sincerely. "No." You reply. He heads towards you, stretching out his wings and arms as he does. "No, of course not. I mean, why would you? Only nothing is going as you planned."
You sniffed, wiping your nose with your sleeve. "Why is it so hard?" You asked, you know he wasn't going to have the answer you wanted. "You thought this would be easy? Please. You were sent to hell for a reason. You think you can just add a couple please and thank yous and you'd be up there? Come on, man." A man with words. "No, I know I wasn't going to be easy but ... Whatever." You mumble.
He puts his arm over your shoulder bringing you closer. You sigh deeply, resting your head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't of .. y'know." He tuts and looks down at you. "Look, at you." He lift up your chin. "Apologising. Real redemption like." You chuckle lightly. "Shut up, Huskie."
"I hate it when you call me that." He wraps his arms around you lifting you onto his lap. His wings surround the both of you. "You know, I know something that might cheer you up." His deep voice like a melody to your eyes. "hmm, how's that?" He glances down at his crotch pursing his lip. "You're so lame." You chuckle. He kisses your collar bone. "Hm, you love it."
~⁠♡✧⁠。 I really hope you enjoyed! I'm not a writer by any means but I appreciate any support I receive so thank you for reading! 。✧⁠♡~⁠
You slid yourself down to unbuckle his belt, he grabs your legs as he stands slightly to help you pull down his pants. His already hard member springing out. "Oh~!" You purr, brushing your fingers against his length causing him to pant. His wing twitches at your touch.
"you looked so sad." He brushes a loose stand of hair behind your ear. "I feel sad.." you pouted. "But I'll make you feel better." He told you, adjusting your body, lining your entrance with his cock. Gently pushing you down, your tightness envelopes him. "F-fuck~"
Carefully, he bounces you on his member. Cuddling as he fucks you, his wings wrapped around you both, protecting you like a dome. He spends the time fucking you tenderly, whispering sweet nothings in your ear and peppering your neck and shoulders with kisses. "You're so tight, y/n."
His hips start stuttering as he feels his release coming, moving faster. Grunting with your moans. He adjusts you in such away that hits your g-spot perfectly, resulting a deep gutteral moan escapes from you. He holds you down as he thrust into finishing inside of you, cum leaking out of your cunt. You both take a moment to catch your breath. "Happy now?" He asks. "Yes." You reply.
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hockeyboistrash · 3 months ago
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Another part to my cat mom!reader x joseph woll blurb series because I love writing it and I've got a bunch of ideas for it. The cats are good at comforting Joseph after a loss.
Joseph was drained. No matter how many saves he made, how hard he tried the team still lost. He wanted to forget about that game and move on to the next one but with Toronto media that was near impossible. The blogs and so-called experts will be all over him, dragging his name through the mud demanding he's traded because he should've made that save, he should've won the game. Joe loved playing in Toronto but he also hated it.
It was late and Joe knew it was likely you'd be in bed but he couldn't face going to his empty apartment right now. Using the spare key you gave him, a way to signify the next step of your relationship, he let himself into your apartment. You knew it was a possibility he'd come round, having texted you after the game.
"Hey." You softly greeted Joe when he rounded the corner. You were in the kitchen making a cup of tea for your boyfriend, ready for when he came over.
"You didn't have to stay up, Y/N." Joe told you, knowing you had work the next day yet he was secretly glad you were up as he wanted nothing more than to see your smile.
"I know but I wanted to." You shrugged, finishing off the tea before handing it to Joe. He held the mug in his hand, gently blowing on it to cool it down before taking a sip, grateful for the warmth. "And I know you might not want to hear it right now but you were amazing tonight. It wasn't your fault you lost." You told him, pushing his hair back. You've been with your boyfriend long enough to know he's beating himself up about the loss.
A chorus of soft chirps could be heard making their way to you both, Winston and Louis wanting to join in the impromptu late night get together. They hated the thought of missing out on something. Louis jumped up onto the counter, immediately brushing up against Joseph, purring as he did. Winston wasn't far behind, pawing your boyfriends hand as his way to say he wanted fuss. You were quick to move the mug of tea, not wanting any accidents.
"Hey guys." Joe greeted, effortlessly giving both cats fuss. A slight frown that he wore when he walked in soon turned into a soft smile. This was why he wanted to come over, so he could be with you and kittens instead of alone with his thoughts. You stood back, watching the sight before you with love. You knew Joe was still feeling the loss but at least Winston and Louis could keep his mind off it even if its for a moment. "You been good today?"
"Yep. Only had one incident of attacking the tv but other than that they were sat watching the game." You told him.
"Really?" Joe playfully gave Winston a stern look, knowing he was the culprit as it wasn't the first time this has happened and it probably wont be the last.
"In his defense the refs were on the screen." You said making him laugh.
"Well I can't be mad at that reason, can I?" He said giving him a head scratch which Winston purred happily at. "Thank you for this, Y/N. I really needed this."
You didn't need Joe to add anything else, knowing exactly what he was on about. You leaned up, pressing a soft kiss on his cheek. "Of course. We're always here for you, cheering you on. No matter the outcome we're proud of you." Joe smiled at the three of you, grateful for having you in his life.
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yearsbecomingcool · 2 months ago
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meet the parents | daniel markowitz
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donate to gaza here | masterlist
pairing | daniel markowitz x f!reader
synopsis | after 3 months of dating daniel finally introduces you to his parents and invites you to spend the eighth night of hanukkah with his family.
warnings | f!reader, jewish!reader, fluff.
word count | 4.4k
a/n | i wanna give a huge thank you to @kawaii1kitten for reading over this for me to make sure everything was accurate, it meant so much for someone to offer up their time like that and it was greatly appreciated. i got this request back at the end of january but have been incredibly busy since then (21st birthday, trying to get my license, new season of yellowjackets, writing a 7.6k word fic about jason from hell of a summer that you should all read…) but i did also take some time to research hanukkah for this fic. if anything is falsely represented or you think could be portrayed differently please let me know and i can fix any mistakes made! thank you so much for the request and hopefully it came out to your liking. also thank you to @joeloverture as always for reading over this and giving me input!!
taglist | @snazzynacho
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You had been dating Danny for three months and somehow still hadn’t met his family, it wasn’t the most unusual thing in the world but you couldn’t help but feel a little suspicious. You would always hang out at your house, never at his. He always made an excuse about a messy room or someone working from home that day and you were beginning to feel a bit fed up with it. Today he was picking you up for a date, a trip to the movies. You heard his horn go off and ran outside, hopping into the passenger seat. You lean over and give him a quick peck, “You look cute today, scruffy, but cute.” You caress his cheek, looking at him lovingly.
He blushes, leaning into your touch like a cat. “So you don’t want me to shave?”
“Not yet…I’ll be generous and give you another week,” you tease, pinching the pale flesh of his cheek between your thumb and forefinger. He giggles and pulls away from you, he backs out of your driveway and starts to head towards the theater. 
You could save your questioning till after the movie, make it easier on both of you, but you’ve never been known to choose the easy route. You decide to come right out with it, “Why haven’t you introduced me to your family yet?”
He coughs nervously, “W-What?”
“Your family. You haven’t introduced me to them at all, you haven’t even brought me over to your house. We always just go to mine. There has to be a reason, so tell me Danny, what is it?”
His face grows hot and he swallows nervously. “I-It just hasn’t been the right time…they’re always busy. Y’know…I just…”
“You hardly talk about any of them besides your grandma, who sounds lovely by the way. But it just feels weird, if you have a bad relationship with them I’ll drop it but I’m just curious about your family. It feels like you’re hiding me from them and vice versa,” you explain.
He sighs, “My parents are just…a lot, okay? They still treat me like I’m a kid, hell my mom still has Life-360 installed on my phone.”
You giggle, “Were you a bad kid in high school or something?”
He laughs, “The furthest from it actually. I hardly went out, never went to parties, never did drugs. I was a good kid, my parents just…they’re intense and I know they care but they don’t really treat me like an adult yet. I didn’t want to scare you away or have you think I’m some Norman Bates mommy’s boy, I just want you to like me.”
“I already like you, dork. Do you think I’d be going out with you for three months if I didn’t like you? I’m certainly not dating you for your car.”
“But you could be dating me for my money,” he jokes.
“I’m practically your sugar mommy, mr. unemployed, I don’t wanna hear it.” 
“Okay…okay, I get it, you do actually like me. But are you sure you wanna meet my parents?”
“Yes! C’mon, let them get the embarrassing stage out of the way already. I’ll come over and bring them some nice wine and nod politely while they show me baby pictures and tell me embarrassing stories about you from your childhood. Doesn’t that sound nice?” You’re trying your hardest to convince him.
“It sounds better without them embarrassing me but I guess it could be worse…why don’t you come over for the final night of Hanukkah, it’s the one day this week where both my parents are off work so they won’t be super stressed or anything. We’re doing it at my grandmas so you’ll get to meet her too,” he suggests, finally giving in.
“I finally get to meet the famous Thelma Post you’ve been telling me about!” You celebrate.
“I’ve told her all about you too, she’s been asking when she can meet you.” He starts to poorly imitate his grandma, “Danny I’ll have one foot in the grave before you bring her over to see me!” You both burst into laughter at his imitation. “Don’t tell her I did that…please…”
You hold your pinky up, “Pinky promise.”
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It’s the eighth day of Hanukkah and Daniel had come over to your place to help you cook, he insisted that you didn’t need to bring anything but you were determined to make a good impression. He’d been here for a few hours helping you make sufganiyot, normally his mom would make some but she was more than happy to leave that task up to you once you’d offered. You’d already made the filing the night before, letting it sit in the fridge for a few hours. Danny had been eyeing it as soon as he saw it in the fridge. Once you were done preparing the sufganiyot you’d piped some onto his finger, letting him finally have a taste. He sucks the cream off his finger and moans at the taste, “Fuck this is good. My mom is gonna have one bite of this and ask when I’m putting a ring on your finger, I swear.” 
“And what are you gonna tell her?” You tease, placing a hand on the counter and leaning against it, trying to look seductive.
“That I need an actual job before I can even think of walking into a jewelry store.” 
You roll your eyes and he wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you into him to give you a soft kiss. He looks a bit silly, wearing the apron you’d bought him when you’d gone grocery shopping the other day. It had a stupid little slogan that made you cringe on it and you knew it’d be perfect for him. When he’d arrived you held it up for him and he rolled his eyes. “For me?” He teases, holding his hand up to his mouth. You smacked him with a dish towel. 
While you went to get cleaned up and changed for the party Danny lounged on the small couch in your living room, flicking through the channels. He was grateful the SY-FY channel was still playing shitty horror movies this time of year. He’d gotten about halfway through Sharknado when you came out into the living room ready to go. You’d done natural makeup, some soft smoked out eyeliner and some lip gloss. You were dressed casual but cute, wearing a dark blue sweater and some black jeans. Danny sits up from the couch and smiles as his eyes rake over you, “You look great.”
“You’re so sweet to me, Danny. C’mere.” You outstretch your hand to him, pulling him up from the couch and into your arms to give him a soft kiss on the cheek. He grabs the wine off the counter and you grab your tray of sufganiyot and he opens the front door for you, locking it up before opening the passenger door for you. As you sit in the car on the way to his grandma's condo your knee bounces up and down, a nervous tick that you’ve had for years. Danny notices and places his hand on your thigh.
“It’s gonna be okay, I promise. I should be freaking out more than you, I have no idea what  embarrassing shit they’re gonna tell you tonight!” 
“I really hope they have a whole scrapbook for me to look at. I wanna see every embarrassing school photo, your awkward prom pictures, your cute little baby pictures.”
He groans, “Your parents didn’t show me any of that for you though!”
You laugh, “Uh yeah because I told them I’d never come back home again if they did.”
“You’re mean.”
“I’m not mean…I just know how to get what I want.”
He narrows his eyes but keeps them on the road, “I’ll keep that in mind.”
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Your hands are trembling when you get to his grandma's condo, you knew you’d be nervous you just didn’t know you’d be this nervous. “Do you think they’ll like me?”
He chuckles and parks the car, “They’ll love you. You have your shit together, you’re beautiful, you’ve helped me get my shit together I’m pretty sure that’s everything they want in a woman for me.” 
“And if they somehow don’t like me?”
“Then I’m staying with you anyway, I don’t care what they think. I know they’re gonna love you and I know for a fact that my grandma is gonna love you. Before the night is over she’ll be shoving her phone in my hand and demanding I friend you on Facebook for her.” He smiles at you like you’re the only girl he’s ever loved, he means every word he says, he’s not just trying to make you feel better.
“The only approval I need is yours and Thelmas.” He laughs at your joke and leans across the console to kiss you. He cups your face gently. When you pull away he’s smiling like a schoolboy.
Your face contorts in confusion, “What?”
“I just…” He runs his hand through his hair, “I really like you. I’m happy we’re doing this.”
You feel like a lovesick teenager, “Me too.”
Daniel goes around and opens your door, bowing his head as you step out of the car. “You’re such a nerd, you know that, right?”
He smiles at you playfully, “Are you gonna bully me in front of my parents? I don’t think they’ll like that too much. My grandma especially won’t.” 
“Well shit I can’t let Thelma down…”
“Exactly, so be nice!” He kisses your cheek and leads you to the door. He knocks quickly before wrapping his arm around your shoulder. You rest your head against his shoulder as you wait for his parents to open the door. You hear rustling and suddenly the door opens. His mom is standing there with a huge smile on her face. At first glance she doesn’t look much like him, she’s got dark brown hair cut into a neat bob and light green eyes. When she smiles that’s when you see the resemblance. Her tortoiseshell glasses pair nicely with her tan sweater and brown pants. 
“It’s so good to see you two! Come in, come in!” She exclaims, moving aside for the two of you to come in. You follow Daniel inside and kick off your shoes by the door before going into the kitchen to put your sufganiyot down on the counter. There’s already a few dishes sitting out and ready to go. Latkes with a small dish of sour cream sat next to them, fried bimuelos with honey drizzled over top, and some brisket. His mom, Gail, hugs you like she’s known you her whole life. 
“Danny has told us so much about you, I was wondering when he would finally introduce you,” she says, nudging him playfully with her elbow. He looks down at the floor bashfully.
“I guess I didn’t realize everyone was so…eager to meet.”
“Well with how you talked about her we all wanted to finally see the lovely girl. How are you?” His father, Alan, comes up behind Danny and outstretches his hand to you. You shake his hand and smile politely. 
“I’m great, Danny takes the best care of me. You’ve raised a wonderful son.”
Daniel looks down blushing again, he does this every time you praise him. It’s something he’ll never get used to. 
You take a second to look around the room, her kitchen reminds you so much of your grandma’s house. The only word you can think of for it is cozy. She has an array of plants all over the kitchen, some are sat on the windowsill above the sink. A few of the bigger ones sit on a white metal shelf populated by some cutesy glassware and a couple cookbooks. You feel right at home. You grab the wine from Daniel and present it to his parents, “I wasn’t sure what kind you would like so I hope this is okay.”
They take the bottle and inspect it, “It’s perfect.”
His parents thank you and bring you into the small tv nook where Thelma is sitting comfortably on the family's couch. You marvel at the collection of books she’s collected over her lifetime. They sit cozily on her built-in shelves, a modest CRT TV sits at the center. On each side of the couch sits more bookshelves. You can imagine yourself curled up on her orange and white pinstripe couch spending your days working through her collection.  “Grandma, there’s someone I’d like for you to meet.” She turns and smiles as she sees you. She’s quick to get to her feet, walking towards you happily. “Oh honey! Finally! I thought we’d never get to meet at this rate, ah, look at you! Danny you’ve always had good taste but she’s got to be my favorite! Oh just look at her, Danny you make such a cute couple.” Now it’s your turn to blush as Thelma gushes over you. She holds your hands in hers and smiles at you warmly.
“You’re too kind…Danny has said so much about you. I think he’s been hiding me away so I don’t become your new best friend,” you joke, helping Daniel lead her to the front of the house. The house is set up a bit strangely, her main living room is quite spacious, and a bar sits behind one of the floral couches. It’s unused, now displaying various family photos. There’s even more books on more beautiful shelves, you wonder if she’s read them all.
Thelma playfully swats at Daniel's arm, “Have you been hiding her? I always could do with more friends. You know that, Danny.” You admire their menorah as it sits on a white tray on a small table in front of the window, it’s a beautiful gold color, made of brass. It was his parents' wedding gift. A blue table runner sits beneath it.
He giggles, “Can you blame me for wanting to keep her to myself?” The three of you stand together, his parents on either side. 
You watch as his father loads the candles, their matchbook sits on the tray next to the menorah. You watch as his father strikes the match and lights the shamash and begins to recite the blessings. “Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech HaOlam, asher kidshanu b’mitzvotav v’tzivanu l’hadlik ner shel Hanukkah. Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech HaOlam, she’asah nisim l’avoteinu, b’yamim haheim bazman hazeh.” Once he’s finished reciting the blessings he lights each candle from left to right and puts the shamash at its place in the center. It makes you think of past Hanukkah celebrations you’d spent with your family, it’s the first year you’re not spending it with them. You have a feeling you can convince Daniel to come to yours next year.
You all head to the kitchen and grab a plate and start to grab your food, you load your plate up happily.
Daniel pours you each a glass of wine, Thelma has water instead. The table is small which makes things a bit cramped but you make it work, you and Daniel sitting close enough that your elbows knock occasionally.
“Was your family alright with you missing out on celebrating with them this year?” Thelma asks as she sips from her glass.
“They understood, they’d like Danny to come to ours next year for a night. They really loved him when they met him.” Daniel squeezes your hand softly.
“Oh of course! Maybe we could all get together next year, have a little party!” She suggests.
“That sounds perfect. I’m sure they’d love to.” 
As you begin to dig into your food you look over at Gail with a sly smirk. “So…what was Danny like as a kid?”Daniel chokes on his wine, his eyes going wide. He didn’t expect you to start asking about this as soon as dinner started.
Gail smiles knowingly at Daniel, she knows just how badly she’s about to embarrass him and she’s going to cherish this moment for as long as it lasts. “Oh he was just precious. Such a sweet smiley little boy,” she takes a sip of her wine, “but he was so shy. I remember on his first day of Kindergarten he was so scared, he wouldn’t let go of my leg. Poor thing…”
“Aww Danny…I was a shy kid too. Maybe not that shy but it took me a while to grow out of it. I remember sitting at a table with a group of other shy kids in English class and we were all supposed to do some project together and I had to pull myself out of my shell for it because none of them wanted to,” you laugh.
“That sounds like Danny. Y’know there was this shy boy in his class when he was younger,” she turns to face Daniel, “Wendy Horowitz’ son, do you remember him?”
Daniel nods. He has no clue who she’s talking about.
“Anyway, he got hooked on Don Julio and he’s been in and out of rehabs ever since. Always made me worried for Danny, you never know what the quiet ones are doing…”
“Well I don’t drink much, I’ll have one if I go out somewhere nice for dinner, but I’m usually the designated driver. Danny doesn’t really have much when we go out either.”
Gail rubs Daniel on the shoulder, “Oh you’re cutting back on the drinking? Good, see Alan she’s already a good influence, only 3 months in!”
Alan smiles, “You did get him to throw out that ratty old cardigan too.”
“There were too many holes for it to be considered wearable at that point. I bought him a nice new one to replace it.”
Daniel blushes, “The new one is softer…”
“He’s always worn his clothes till they were falling apart…I’d always fix them up so he could wear his favorites a bit longer,” Thelma says.
Daniel looks at her with nothing but love in his eyes and smiles,”And thank you for that. You’re why most of my favorite sweaters are still around.” 
Gail chuckles, a memory surfacing. “Do you remember that phase you had where you would only wear your Spider-Man costume? You were like what…six? You wore it everywhere! I remember you even demanded you wear it to school under your clothes.” Daniel's face turns bright red as the rest of you giggle.
“I uh, I think I do remember that,” he scratches the back of his neck nervously.
“That’s cute. I think I did the same with some princess dress my mom had got me.” As fun as it is to watch him squirm with embarrassment you still don’t want him to get too embarrassed. 
The rest of dinner is spent with Gail telling childhood stories about Daniel, most are just cute instead of embarrassing but once dinner is wrapped up is when the embarrassment really starts. Thelma is quick to lead you to her array of childhood photos of Daniel she has on display. You pick up each one, inspecting them closely as he looms over your shoulder, face bright red with embarrassment. “Do you really have to show her the middle school ones? Those are just…they’re bad…” He groans as he pinches the bridge of his nose. 
“Oh but Danny you were so cute! Wasn’t he?” Thelma asks, turning towards you.
You giggle and smile, “The cutest.”
“See! Not embarrassing!” 
Daniel groans and puts his hands over your eyes, he leans down to whisper in your ear, “I think you’ve seen enough.” It’s playful and cute. You giggle and lean back against him.
“I think I wanna see more actually-”
He’s quick to cover your mouth with one of his hands, “She doesn’t know what she’s saying. That wine must’ve been strong, right baby?” He moves his hand from your eyes to your chin, maneuvering your head to make you nod. “See? She’s all good on childhood pictures now, Grandma.”
You lick his palm and he yelps, pulling his hand away. “Don’t listen to him! Show me the worst ones!”
Thelma is doubling over in laughter at the two of you, it reminds her of when she had met her husband. “Oh I’ve got more, sweetheart. Don’t worry.” She heads over to the bookcase to start looking for her photo albums. 
Daniel leans down to whisper in your ear so softly that no one else can hear, “You’re so getting it later. You hear me?”
You giggle, “I’m sure I am, Danny…” He loves to talk a big game but hardly ever follows through. You know it’ll end in giggles and a makeout session on your couch. 
He helps Thelma bring over the photo albums, setting them down onto the coffee table before taking a seat next to you. “You better be nice to me about these.”
“Danny how bad could they be? Don’t be so dramatic, we were all dorky when we were younger.” You rub his shoulder comfortingly. You lean against his arm as he opens the first one. The first page is his mom holding him in the hospital, his tiny footprints next to the photo make you tear up a bit.
Thelma tells a small story with each photo, “He was such a smiley baby. The happiest in the family. I remember Gail called me one time to ask if it was normal for a baby to be so happy all the time,” she laughs, “she’s always been such a worrier…”
“You were adorable Danny, your smile is the same now y’know.”
He leans his head against yours, “Some things never change I guess.”
“I’m glad you’ve still got that sweet smile and all those beauty marks.”
He smiles and presses a kiss to your forehead as you continue to look through the photo albums. His face heats up with embarrassment as they reach the elementary school photos. He’s wearing silly graphic tees and missing teeth, new ones growing back into place. There’s photos of him playing video games, kindergarten and 5th grade graduations. Photos of him with childhood friends and peers, most of the names he can’t remember but he has a story for almost all of them. “He had a pet lizard! I begged my parents, and Grandma of course,” he nudges Thelma with his elbow, “for one too. But when I actually went over to his house and saw it in person it scared me so bad I never asked for another pet again!”
“What kind of lizard was it?” You ask curiously. 
“A bearded one, like that dinosaur in Jurassic Park that ate Nedry.”
Your eyes light up, “Ah! I can see why you’d be terrified now.”
He blushes bright red with embarrassment once the middle school pictures start coming up, awkward phases, bad haircuts, and plenty of embarrassing stories. It’s an awful time for everyone but it seemed particularly cringe inducing for Daniel. You and Thelma stifle laughter as he tries to defend his magician phase with his life.
“The girls were into it I swear!”
“Thelma, did you tell him that to make him feel better?” You ask, leaning forward to see her.
“I think I did…”
Daniel dramatically scoffs, feigning offense at her confession.
“Did you like try to pull a flower out from behind a girl's ear?” You joke.
His cheeks turn pink, “I-I…no…”
He’s a little less defensive over his high school photos, you can see him finding his style in every photo. He’s switched out his silly graphic tees for band t-shirts and cardigans, his cargo shorts for skinny jeans. It’s interesting to watch him figure out who he is through photos. You smile at the photos of him at concerts on his tiptoes trying to peer over the shoulders of the people in front of him. There’s ticket stubs from his favorites glued down next to the photos of him at each one. You can tell you would’ve been friends in high school, probably more considering how you ended up. He was your type to a tee. You could imagine asking him out to see whatever indie movie was playing at your local theatre, him slipping his headphones on you in a diner afterwards to show you his new favorite band. You feel a pang of sadness that you didn’t know him back then. You’re grateful to have him now. You cuddle up a bit closer to him as he gets to the final picture, it’s him on graduation day. His hair was grown out and combed back under his graduation cap. His favorite is the shot of Thelma and him together. He has his arm slung over his shoulder as he holds her close.
“Why don’t we take one of you two to add to the album?” Thelma suggests.
You smile and look at Daniel, trying to see how he feels. He’s smiling just as big as you are and he nods, getting up from the couch. “Where’s the camera?”
“It’s in my office on my desk, right by the computer,” Thelma explains. Once he’s walked off to retrieve the camera she leans close to you, taking your hand in hers. “You’re my favorite of the girls he’s ever brought over. Thank you for being so good to him…I think you’re what he needs.”
You feel tears begin to well up in your eyes, your lip quivering. You reach up to wipe your tears and nod, “I think he’s what I need to.” Thelma leans forward and hugs you tight, you pull away with Daniel comes back with the camera.
“Should I call dad to come take it?” He asks Thelma.
“Oh no, dear. This is the one technology I know how to use!” She gets up from the couch and takes the camera from Daniel, directing him to sit next to you. She continues directing the two of you, telling you how to pose. “Danny at least try to look like you love her! You’re so stiff!”
He chuckles and tries to relax, pulling you closer to him. You’re leaned against him, your head on his shoulder as he holds you close. You glance up at him for a second and hear the camera go off. “Oh, I wasn’t ready!”
Thelma smiles down at the photo, turning the camera back around for the two of you to look. It’s instantly your new favorite photo of the two of you. You’re cuddled up, gazing into each other's eyes. “I think it’s perfect, dear.”
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