#look i got all this cool knowledge from my degree and i need to yell it at other people sometimes

[hylianengineer]

Today I went to the farmer's market and met a guy who sold me spinach from his garden. He told me it had been picked at 10:30 this morning, which is awesome in the sense that it is very fresh and tasty, but also in the sense that it's just nice to KNOW exactly how my food got to me.

There's this concept called "food from somewhere," which my spinach is, but to explain it I first need to tell you about "food from nowhere." It's not literal - food doesn't just appear out of thin air. But in industrial food systems, you're supposed to act like it does - to never consider who grew or raised your food, if they get paid and treated well, if they're being kind to the environment, if livestock animals were treated well, etc. That's food from nowhere - it doesn't just appear in the grocery store, but it might as well for how much most consumers know about its origins. And this works out really well for companies that want to do unethical things like treat their workers badly, exploit the environment, be cruel to livestock, etc.

It's not just customer apathy that makes the origin of most of our food a mystery - in many cases that information is just not available. In my sociology of food class last year, we had a project where you had to write down everything you ate for three days and as much information as you could find about where it came from. I was lucky if I could narrow a given item down to the country one ingredient was grown in. The information is very hard to find, and for many foods I was just taking guesses, like "well, these are the countries that export most of the world's coconuts."

Food from somewhere as a movement is both a reaction to food from nowhere and a return to older and more traditional foodways - it means food you do know the origins of. Like my spinach: I met the man who grew it, he told me about his garden. I know where it came from, and if I wanted to ask that man all about his gardening methods, I could, and he'd probably tell me all about that, too. Heck, a lot of small and local farms have visitor days! The information isn't hidden behind ten layers of supply chain chaos, it's readily available and frequently handed to you before you even need to ask. Because people who grow food well are generally pretty damn proud of it.

[vanilla-vivillon]

Happy Wesper Week! We are doing a Wylan POV because I can’t write charm at all. This is a modern AU bachelor party. The grisha powers exist but everything else is made into there real life equivalent

TW very brief mentions of sex trafficking.

What am I doing here? Wylan thought to himself

When his boyfriend Jesper insisted on throwing there good friend Matthias a bachelor party Wylan thought maybe they would go to a nice bar or play some party games

Not get crazy drunk, Not set fire to the Dutch Garden, not get chased by cops, not perform a gas station heist and not catch one of his best friends making out with a gas station cashier

However it seemed the universe didn’t care for the thoughts of little ole Wylan Hendricks

“Let’s get this party started!” The Australian yelled

Wylan had to remindhimself he loved his boyfriend Jesper

“Can you not shout?” Matthias, the groom to be, begged

Wylan, Jesper, and there friends Kaz and Kuwei were throwing a bachelor party for Matthias

It took a lot to convince the Norwegian that this was indeed a great idea

Wylan had never been to a bachelor party before but he was excited for his boyfriend who adored them

“Do we really have to go to this bar Jesper?” Kaz groaned seeing the crazy bright neon sign

After years of knowing Kaz Brekker Wylan could tell that Kaz was cursing Inej for telling him to come

Nevertheless the boys all walk in and start ordering shots

“Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!” The boys chanted egging on Kaz and Matthias drinking contest

Well it was mostly Jesper and Kuwei chanting Wylan after having a couple drinks was staring at the twinkle in Jespers eyes

He really was beautiful Wylan thought to himself

Wylan attended the University of Amsterdam to mostly escape his father.

There he met his lifelong friends

Matthias a grumpy international exchange student who grew up in a very prominent and dangerous cult in Norway. He wants to be a Norwegian ambassador

Nina Zenik, a heartrender turned corpse witch who was actually a russian spy back in the day. Now she’s working to become an ambassador

Inej Ghafa, she started a non profit to help stop sex trafficking whitch takes her all over the World but she used to. be an acrobat and after that worked with Kaz as his spy

Kaz Brekker, someone who Wylan after years of knowing him isn’t quite sure if there truly friends, or the semi illegal activities he gets up to. Wylan thought his hacking days would be done after University but Kaz has built an online criminal empire

Kuwei Yul Bo a scientists apprentice from China. He was currently working on his masters degree along side Wylan.

And Jesper. How to describe Jesper Fahey. He was an exchange student from Australia. A fabricator with a gift with Guns. While Jesper loved his pistols he actually works for a nonprofit dedicated to gun safety and regulation

After a highly illegal heist on there trip to Norway during college they all bonded as a group

Especially Wylan and Jesper

Jesper with that twinkle

Jesper with that laugh

Jesper with the way he looked at him now

After many more drinks Kuwei had the idea of the century

“Yooooooo y’know what’s a good idea?” Kuwei said bringing his head up from where it was previously glued to the table

“More shhhhhhhhhots?” Jesper suggested clearly as drunk as Wylan

“A couple blocks away is The Dutch Garden, wanna see some prrrrrrrrrrretty flowers?”

Fun fact this is a real place in Amsterdam

Wylan turned towards Kaz expecting him to veto it then and there but to Wylans shock and horror Kaz said “Hell yeah”

“But, but, it’s super late it’s gonna be closed!” Matthias spluttered out

“We can sneak in from the back fence” Jesper said

When Jesper drank his Australian accent whitch had soften over the years of living in Amsterdam came through in all of its glory

When Wylan first met Jesper he thought he was completely out of his league

And that damn accent drove Wylan Insane

While Wylan was contemplating the wonder that was Jesper Llewelyn Fahey it seemed the group made a decision without him

And Wylan thought for the first time in this bachelor party

What am I doing here?

“C’mon Wylan just climb!” Kuwei whisper screamed at Wylan

The drunken lads had made it to the Garden and had found an area where there was a fence they could climb with relative ease

All of the others made it to the other side

Except Wylan

“Don’t you want to seeeeeee the flowwwwwwwers?” Kaz insisted

If Wylan needed any more proof he was the soberest man out of all of them Kaz saying the word ‘pretty’ that isn’t referencing Inej was a clear sign

“Baby pleeeeease” Jesper begged

Oh

Oh no

Not that face

Wylan thought of himself as a sensible person who doesn’t succumb to pressure easily

But when his boyfriend made that face

Where his cool grey eyes went big

And his face had a slight flush to it

Wylan

Broke

“Fine! But if we get arrested it’s on you guys!”

With the ease of a spider who’s leg got chopped off by a middle aged housewife who’s husband is cheating on her climbing up a wall Wylan somehow got across

It wasn’t pretty

And it wasn’t gonna make Kaz proud

But it was completed

Panting Wylan on the ground said “I think this is my biggest accomplishment”

“Not…. Putting away your father? Or growing past your Internalised homophobia? Or writing your first essay on your own?” Matthias suggested clearly bewildered

Hey so i know Wylan can’t actually read. But seeing as this is modern day and plenty of dyslexic people can read with help, I figured that Jan would refuse to take Wylan to a doctor or get him help with his dyslexia believing it was weak making Wylan unable to read. Buuuuut when he’s older it makes sense to me he does learn. I’m not trying to invalidate his experiences or “fix” him but for the sake of a modern AU I had to change some things.

“Nope. It’s climbing this fence” Wylan laughed as Jesper helped him up

“Everyday you remind why your my favorite human” Jesper said with a laugh

“Ewwwww it’s like you guys like to remind how I’m the only single one” Kuwei said with a throwing up motion

“Thanks Jesp- wait human?” Wylan asked confused

“Well my favorite thing is Milo of course” Jesper winked

“The- the goat in Russia?” Kaz inquired not quite wanting to believe what Jesper was saying

To Wylans knowledge Kaz, Inej and Jesper did some job in Russia before he ever met them

“Why of course” Jesper slung an arm around Wylan who was not quite sure how to feel about this goat

Kaz went to go look at some purple flowers and contemplate his life choices

“Oh my god guys…….” Matthias started “the flowers! They’re- they’re”

“Cmon Matty, share with the class” Kaz said apparently bored with the purple flowers

“They’re so preeeeeeeetty” Matthias eyes welled up with tears

“Oh Saints tell me he’s not crying” Kuwei Moaned

Jesper walked over to where Matthias was stroking a hydrangea

“They are soooooooo pretty” Jespers eyes also Welled up with tears

“Fuck this shit” Kuwei said taking out a lighter and cigarette

“Hey! Smoking is very bad for you Kuwei!” Wylan lectured

“Wylan. I’m an inferni. Smoking foesnt affect us” Kuwei rolled his golden brown eyes

“Yeah but we’re in a highly flammable garden! And the rest of us aren’t inferni!” Wylan said

It seemed during Kuwei and Wylans arguement Kaz had also joined the cult of flowers that Matthias and Jesper were fixated on

“Wylan stop smoke shaming me!” And the scientists went back and fourth

“KUWEI YOU PIECE OF-“ Wylan started then sniffed the air “is that, is that smoke?” Wylan asked

“Holy shit dudes there’s a fire!” Kaz yelled pointing at where the cigarette Kuwei droppped

It seemed that the cigarette lit fire to a big wall of flowers

“This is why I never wanted a bachelor party!” Matthias moaned

The boys could hear voices coming towards them

Then all of the men looked at each other

And all of them yelled “RUN!”

All of them starting sprinting to the fence

And Kaz with his limp scrambled up that fence the fastest

Guess his determination to not get caught was strong

Wylan started climbing as fast as he could whitch wasn’t very fast

“Cmon Merchling!” Jesper said at the top reaching out a hand to his boyfriend

Wylan took it and stared at the steel eyes that had first enraptured him years ago

“Hey Stop!” Looking back Wylan and Jesper saw three security guards running towards them and yelling at them to stop

Jesper yanked Wylan up and they both fell off the fence in a pile

Jesper took Wylans hand and they all started booking it to Wylan’s car

Wylan who had sobered up in the whole endeavor determined that he was probably sober enough to drive

Piling in they all shoved themselves in the car

Wylan turned on the gas and starte to get the car back on the road

“I can’t believe we ran from cops!” Matthias said in between panting

“That was awesome!” Jesper exclaimed from the passenger seat

Wylan laughed

He had never been a spontaneous person

It seemed this night was a lot more fun then he thought

Until he heard the sirens

From the backseat Kaz turned

And three police cars were zooming towards them

“I am not going down for arson!” Kuwei yelled

“Wylan stop driving like a grandma and go faster! There gaining on us!” Kaz screamed at Wylan

“I can’t there’s a stoplight!”

“Run it!” Jespers shrill voice screamed at him

And Wylan did what he swore to never do

He took a deep breath

And ran that light as fast as he could

They were flying

Wylan had never seen how fast he could make his car go

Turns out it was fast

Wylan used some of his dads money to buy a sports car just to rub it in Jans face

With the top off and blood rushing through Wylans head he had never felt more alive

His boy beside him

His friends behind him

“WOOOOOOOOO!” Kuwei yelled throwing his hands up

Jesper joined Kuwei as the car sped down the street

Matthias was looking a little green

“Matty you okay back there?” Wylan shouted back at the Norwegian

“No!” Matthias shouted over the roar of engine and Jesper and Kuweis yips and yells

Some point during this Kaz called Inej

“Inej I hate thissssss!” Wylan couldn’t hear what Inej said back but from the pieces Kaz gave it was obvious

“No im not drunk!……. Psh of course those aren’t sirens…… Inej we might’ve bended the law but I swear it wasn’t my fault!…….. alright bye. ….I love you to….”

After what seemed like an eternity Wylan finally lost the police

Laughing the Wylan pulled into a gas station for refill

Wylan stepped out of the car and began to refill his car and thought for the millionth time what am I doing here?

“Wylannnnnn” Kuwei moaned

“What Kuwei?” Wylan said already exasperated

“Wylan I’m hungryyyyyy”

“Then go grab some chips or something!”

“But I don’t want to pay for it!”

“Then I guess that sucks for you!”

“You got like a million dollars from stealing me from Norway! You owe me!”

Ghezen Wylan hated drunk people

“Let’s perform a heist on the gas station!” Matthias said apparently done feeling sick

“What? No! We aren’t stealing from the gas station!” Wylan lectured

“It might actually be fuuuuuuun Wy” Kaz begged

The rest of the party were already getting out of the car ignoring Wylans protests

“We will do a simple distract act, Kuwei will go in first and lead the cashier away, and then we go in and steal chips” Kaz explained

It seemed even drunk Kaz could scheme

“This is insane!” Wylan exclaimed

“You said that about rescuing Kuwei from the Norwegian government but that ended up great” Matthias replied

They were gonna do this with or without Wylan

With a sigh Wylan thought what am I doing here?

Kuwei had gone in and had given the single

Wylan had walked in after pretending to look at some sodas and after Kuwei went into the back room with the cashier Wylan sent a quick text to the rest of the guys to come In and get raiding

Like clockwork Matthias, Jesper, and Kaz went in and they started ransacking the place

Wylan was in charge of Sodas, Matthias was in charge of Chips, and Jesper was in charge of Candy

Kaz had the most important job of all

He had to hack into there computers and wipe the security cameras

If Kaz couldn’t do that then Kaz would have to actually hack into the computers from his phone

It almost suprised Wylan how quickly efficiently, and quietly, a bunch of drunk guys could ransack a gas station

Wylan did feel guilty for a moment

But then he remembered how the CEO of the company the gas station is owned by has had multiple sexual misconduct allegations and Wylan felt better

Wylan got all the soda he could carry and rushed back to the car dumping them in the backseat

Soon after Matthias followed then Jesper and a little while after Kaz

Wylan did a quick headcount “wait where’s Kuwei?”

Wylan checked his phone

No texts from him

Shit shit shit

“Someone has to go back in” Kaz said

“I’ll go after him” Wylan said with a sigh

He loved Kuwei like a brother

But like an annoying little brother constantly getting himself in messes

Wylan Walked in and saw the e cashier wasn’t back

Wylan walked through the store and then heard something towards the men’s bathroom

Walking closer to the door the noises were getting a bit louder

Wylan opened the door slamming it against the wall

There stood a wide eyed Chinese kid and from the green uniform Wylan guessed was the cashier

The cashier who was standing between Kuweis legs. Kuwei who was sitting in the edge of the bathroom sink

There’s arms were around each other

Wylan was confused

What was Kuwei doing?

Oh

Oh

“Get your ass in the car Kuwei!” Wylan yelled

Kuwei gave whispered sorries to the cashier while collecting his jacket he apparently threw off

Wylan dragged Kuwei by the arm outside the store

“Kuwei. When we say distract the cashier, that means distract, not make oht with him!” Wylan lectured

“Cmon Wylan you saw him, he was cute!”

“Your drunk Kuwei!”

“Aren’t we all a little drunk in life?”

“That makes absolutely no sense” Wylan said with a sigh “just go to the car”

Kuwei happily skips away

Wylan had just dropped off Matthias at his and Ninas apartment after dropping off Kaz and Kuwei

Leaving just Wylan, Jesper, and an unhealthy amount of snacks in the car

“Hey Wylan” Jesper said

“Yes Jes?”

“I love you”

“I love you to Jesper”

“No wylan” Jesper took Wylan’s face in his hands

“I really love you” Jesper Pushed a ginger lock away from Wylans face

Jesper then reached into his pocket and pulled out a rumpled purple flower and tucked it into Wylans hair “I really really really love you”

Wylan blinked. Jesper was so drunk.

Wylan gave Jesper a soft smile and placed a kiss on his mouth

“I love you to Jesper”

And suddenly Wylan knew exactly what he was doing there

Finnally finished this in the Nick of time! @neilperryisalive I hope you enjoy this! I was seriously worried I wouldn’t be able to finish it but I did! I’ve never written Wesper but I really enjoyed it. My ask box is open and I take any Grishaverse requests

[darklingichor]

Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir **MAJOR SPOILERS**

So, this is a first, I've never written a revisit this fast.

I do often read or listen to an especially good book, again, right after I finish it. Usually because I can't get into another book until I do.

I did it with Lamb, and I did it with the Martian.

This one is going to be chock full of spoilers, I really want to analyze the main characters in this book, and I can't do that without going into details. This is why I marked the hell out of this.

Project Hail Mary is even better the second time around. This is often the case. Books are like soup. The leftovers from the fridge are often even better than when you had it the first time.

*SPOILERS* *SERIOUSLY SPOILERS TURN BACK NOW IF YOU HAVEN’T READ THIS BOOK* *SPOILERS* *THE REST OF THIS RAMBLE WILL RUIN THE BOOK* *SPOILERS*

Okay, so run down.

The book opens with our main character waking up to an annoying computer asking him basic math questions. This is detecting cognitive function, that's my guess anyway.

Our character quickly discovers a few things. First, he's in a room with robot arms tending to him, including unhooking him from various life support systems as it figures out that he is awake and functioning. He's not alone in the room, there are two others, but they are long dead. And he has no idea, who he is, where he is, or why he's there.

What follows for a little while is what I would call a psychological screwball comedy. It takes him several days to work out that his name is Ryland Grace and he is a microbiologist PhD who had a falling out with the academic community and found his calling as a Jr. High science teacher. Though exploration, experiments, and memory flashes, he works out that he is on a spaceship, the corpses were his crewmates, and he is on a mission to Tau Ceti to save earth from an alien algae like creature, called Astropgage, that is dimming the sun and setting earth on the course to an ice age that will begin to wipe out humanity in 30 years. Tau Ceti, which is 12 light years away from earth, is resistant to this energy sucking algae.

We get all the backstory of how he became a crew member aboard the ship Hail Mary, in flashbacks as his memories return. A big memory that returns? Project Hail Mary is a suicide mission, he will not be going home.

In the meantime, he is slowly trying to figure out how to save earth, while he does this, he sees a very weird spaceship and meets an intelligent alien being. This being (Grace calls him Rocky) comes from a world (Earid) that is in the same situation as Earth. Together, Grace and Rocky have to work out how to save both of their home worlds.

Ryland Grace is a complex character, he’s very very different from Mark Watney (I haven't read Artimis so I can't make comparisons to those characters).

The Martian points out that Astronauts are inherently noble, willing to risk their lives for science and a good cause.

Grace is not an astronaut. That's not to say that he isn't a good person, just that he is an average person. He can be all at once self-sacrificing and selfish.

Early on he is drafted into the research team on what would be called Astropgage as a science expert by Eva Strat, a woman in charge of figuring out what is going on and how to stop it.

Once he was released from his part in this research, he goes back to teaching, only to be struck by the fact that his students would be in their early forties when all hell breaks loose, and that they might die. He then goes back to Strat and demands to be part of the research again.

This back and forth happens a few times in the story. In fact, it becomes a big part of it. See, the crew of the Hail Mary were put into comas to ensure that they would not go nuts and kill each other on the 12 light-year (four years from their perspective) journey, a medical company discovered that 1 in 7000 people have the genes to survive long comas and still function when they wake up. Grace is one of those people, but he is not volunteering for this mission. It's not that he doesn't care, or even that he doesn't want to help, it's that he's scared. And who wouldn't be? But honestly? I think Grace has imposture syndrome and is generally very sensitive. He realized that his kids would suffer, after starting to teach a class, that speed him to become a part of Strat's team again. Events happen that lead him to being the only logical candidate for the science expert aboard the Hail Mary. He refused, Strat basically kidnaps him, sets the computer induce amnesia in only Grace and plunks him on board.

Before she does this, she harshly calls Grace out.

“Do you think I don’t know you, Dr. Grace?!” she yelled. “You’re a coward and you always have been. You abandoned a promising scientific career because people didn’t like a paper you wrote. You retreated to the safety of children who worship you for being the cool teacher. You don’t have a romantic partner in your life because that would mean you might suffer heartbreak. You avoid risk like the plague.” (pg. 392 Kindle Edition)

This all seems to be true, but we don't know Grace's full story. Other than a mention of one girlfriend in college, and brief mentions of friends, There is nothing in the book about his life before he started teaching. This could be because the amnesia has left those things fuzzy, but in my head, it's because he doesn't want to think about it. Maybe he had a bad family life, maybe he had *no* family life, maybe he had an early tragedy. Maybe he realized his short comings and that, no matter his talent, he just didn't have the temperament for acidemia.

He does like being the cool teacher, he does say he likes being looked up to, but this isn't necessarily a bad thing. He's a *good* teacher.

I had cool teachers before I switched to home school. They weren't all good. I had one that would literally just let us mess around during class because they didn't want to actually grade papers. Cool to a kid? Absolutely! Good for education? Not on your life.

Grace isn't like that, he loves science, he loves teaching, and the kids are learning.

He doesn't like animal testing, he's emotional at the fragility of humanity. In short, in his quiet way he loves life.

He leaves his comfort zone to be a part of Strat's team because he knows he's good at what he does and he couldn't look at his students and knowing they could die when he could help prevent it. That doesn't mean he thinks he will be Earth's savior, just that he can help.

He's unwilling to die.

Usually in books and movies, this translates to coward, but really? It's not. Most people wouldn't volunteer for a suicide mission, especially one this pressure filled. "So, we need you to go into a coma, go to a different solar system, save your whole species, and then kill yourselves so you won't starve to death. We good? Cool."

You can't fault a living being for wanting to live. Plus, the other crew members had time to think it through, really decide, make peace with the decision and *then* carry through with the training. Grace? He was given the training, but Strat always said it was for the science of the mission. She was a little like Dumbledore, in that she was training him in case he had to go, but never told him it was a possibility. When it became clear that he was the choice for the vacant spot, he was given less than five hours to decide, and then was told he had no choice.

He makes noble choices throughout the book, but that one choice was not his own, because Strat was given absolute power and used it absolutely.

I can't say that Strat is a villain, either. She was elected to save earth and given the power to cut through any red tape. Handed all this authority, she doesn't become corrupt, she uses this power ruthlessly, but always with the only goal being Save Earth, full stop, that's it. And even as Grace, understandably terrified, yells at her she tells him that she likes him, that she knows that he is a good man, that he will give this  his all. She doesn't *want* to send this unwilling and scared man on a suicide mission. She *has* to. Strat is also complex, she is not nonsense and is committed to her role in saving humanity. I like the reason she gives as to why, toward the end of the book. She got her undergrad degree in history. She takes to heart the old saying that those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

The climate scientists and their models assumed survival based on the idea that all countries will work together for the common goal. However, Strat points out that history shows that that ideal scenario, is not likely to work. She says that most wars, up until very recently, were fought over food, and resulting in famine.  As the sun loses energy and crops fail, there will be wars, and they will be over food. And that is what she is desperately trying to avoid – the horror of history brought to the modern day.

I started as a history major, and history is interwoven into anthropology – I understand this perspective.

I am not going to get into politics, but I’ve experienced the agonizing frustration of watching history repeat itself, more than once in the last couple of years. Guessing at how something will probably go due to how something lines up with a similar event in the past and knowing that if someone in power would just listen it might turn out different, or that the eventual problems could at least be prepared for, and watch it happen anyway and everyone act surprised. It’s enough to make you pull your hair out.

Strat has the knowledge and the authority to act on it, I can’t say, that in her position I wouldn’t act the same way.

That is the major difference between Grace and Strat: viewpoint. By necessity of her position and by virtue of her education, she sees the big picture clearly, Grace, however, doesn’t. He’s a microbiologist, his entire career and education is looking closely at the small things and how they would translate to big things. He studies the universe by studying the smallest things in it. It is no surprise that he would need the smaller things to make the bigger things to snap into focus. When he was forced to start research on astrophage, it wasn’t until he was faced with the small scale (his kids could suffer) to make him see his part in the grand scheme of things. Strat is right, he does avoid risk, because he’s avoiding pain, he doesn’t let things in because he feels too much. Yes, the realization about the kids, puts steel in his spine, but not before he narrowly avoids a break down. For Grace, seeing Strat’s point of view, without being able to work it though to his scale, is like yelling at someone standing too close to a mountain for not being able to see the peak. It just can’t be done from where they are.

It makes me wonder, had Strat been up front with Grace, would he have willingly gone? It takes him a while to come around to the idea of helping the project in the first place. If he were told sooner, given some time, had been able to go home, and think, I feel like he would have gone. Something would have set him on the course. Maybe it would have been one of his former students, telling him about their plans for trying out for high school track, or going to college,  maybe he would have gone to his usual cafe for breakfast and found out that one of the waitresses had just gotten engaged, maybe he would be told these things and see the fear and desperate need to keep life as normal as possible in the person's eyes, and then he would decide, if, on the off chance  no one else could go, he would. Until he remembers his refusal, nearly at the end of the book, he accepts quickly that he volunteered for the mission. Of course, that could have been simply because he couldn't imagine someone forcing someone into something like that, but even as his memories and sense of self come back to him, he doesn't have a sense of terror or blind panic at the fact that he's not going home. I would think that if his unwillingness were something hard wired into his personality, he would know soon after remembering who he is, that he would have never considered being a part of the voyage.

So, I think, had Strat told Grace early on that he had the coma resistant genes and that there was a small possibility that he may have to be the backup for the backup, and then allowed him to come to terms with it, he would have gone without the drama. Don’t get me wrong, there is the possibility that he would have run off and had to have been hunted down, but I think, just like when he went to his class and saw his students, something would have made his conscious kick in, and he would have come back.

That might have been interesting, him running scared for a little while and then coming back? Might have given a little more background into why he is the way he is. But that’s not really what this book is about, I think it’s a forgone about conclusion that Grace would have helped, but what’s really interesting is how Grace and Rocky work together.

Rocky is cool! I love that Weir didn’t go the easy route with the creation of an alien character. Rocky is no Roswell gray with a humanoid form. No no, for our sympathetic alien, we have a spider like creature with liquid mercury for blood who “sees” with echolocation and speaks in musical notes. And it works!!

Rocky is expressive and funny and is great with Grace. It’s hilarious, other than the Russian scientist on Project Hail Mary, he doesn’t get along with anyone as well as he does with Rocky, out of everyone in the book, Grace connects most with a spider shaped rock being, he has to make a computer program to speak with.

Rocky is a tad steadier than Grace, but that makes sense simply because of the two, Rocky knew what he was getting into, and Eridens not only have more time before their star dims to the point of causing a problem, but also, they live a long long time, so, Rocky knows he is going home. But the steadiness is also built into his personality. He and Grace are both analytical problem solvers, but seeing that Rocky is an engineer, his focus is to fix things. A problem arises, and his first reaction is “I will fix that.” He won’t be dissuaded until he has all avenues exhausted.

Grace has a habit, early on, of moping for a little while before rallying and getting to work. His interaction with Rocky brings that pouting time down a bit, and he even pulls Rocky out of a slump a time or two.

The relationship between these two is interesting because Grace says flat out that he is not a social person, he feels awkward in groups with people. But he easily communicates with his students, and he easily communicates with Rocky. Rocky is not childlike, but he does have something in common with the students, Grace, like any teacher, teaches his students, and learns from them. Grace teaches Rocky and learns from him. Grace is comfortable with this sort of interaction; with his students this is where the relationship stops. With Rocky, it doesn’t have that boundary. By virtue of the fact that both are alone in space and crave interaction, they talk a lot. Also, activities that Grace is use to doing alone, Rocky’s culture requires to be done in pairs. The biggest: Sleeping.

Eridens do not sleep without another person watching them. So, he insists that he watch Grace sleep and that Grace watches him. It is not expressly said what other things Eridens don’t do alone, but it is implied (at least to me) that they work better in pairs or in groups. This is true of humans as well, but Grace in particular is a loner, even as he complains that science doesn’t happen with one scientist doing the work (and he’s right) but he does work alone even when the astrophage project opened up to more people, the feeling I get is that he still does most of his work alone unless asked to teach others, or forced to come along by Strat.

Grace quickly becomes acclimated to Rocky’s way of doing things, in an odd way, Grace is more comfortable being Eriden, than he is being human. And I really think that this is the crux of their relationship.

I read somewhere recently that family isn’t necessarily blood, but who you would bleed for.

I feel that Rocky and Grace would sacrifice themselves for their respective home worlds, but they will bleed for each other. Grace must go to a different star system to find family, which is actually really cool to me, because the story manages to have Grace have a story of growth and even a quiet redemption arc all with the background noise of a potential double Armageddon, and we manage not to lose sight of any of these elements. Add to this that the book will make you laugh, cry and think all at once. I love the Martian, but I honestly think this one is better!

[queenlua]

hey, i started following you recently and ur bio says ur a hacker? any tips on where to start? hacking seems like a v cool/fun way to learn more abt coding and cybersecurity/infrastructure and i'd like to explore it but there's so much on the internet and like, i'm not trying to get into anything illegal. thanks!

huh, an interesting question, ty!

i can give more tailored advice if you hit me up on chat with more specifics on your background/interests.

given what you've written here, though, i'll just assume you don't have any immediate professional aspirations (e.g. you just want to learn some things, and you aren't necessarily trying to get A Cyber Security Job TM within the next three months or w/e), and that you don't know much about any specific programming/computering domain yet.

(stuff under cut because long)

first i'd probably just try to pick some interesting problem that you think you can solve with tech. this doesn't need to be a "hacking" project at first; i was just messing around with computers for ages before i did anything involving security/exploitation.

if you don't already know how to program, you should ideally pick a problem you can solve via programming. for instance: i learned a lot back in the 2000s, when play-by-post forum RPGs were in vogue.  see, i'd already been messing around, building my own personal sites, first just with HTML & CSS, and later on with Javascript and PHP.   and i knew the forum software everyone used (InvisionPowerBoard) was written in PHP.  so when one of the admins at my RPG complained that they'd like the ability to set multiple profile pictures, i was like, "hey i'm good at programming, want me to create a mod to do that," and then i just... did. so then they asked me to program more features, and i got all the sexy nerd cred for being Forum Mod Queen, and it was a good time, i learned a lot.

(i also got to be the person who was frantically IMed at 2am because wtf the forum is down and there's an inscrutable error, what do??? basically sysadmining! also, much less sexy! still, i learned a lot!)

the key thing is that it's gotta be a problem that's interesting to you: as much as i love making dorky sites in PHP, half the fun was seeing other people using my stuff, and i think the era of forum-based RPGs has passed. but maybe you can apply some programming talents to something that you are interested in—maybe you want to make a silly Chrome extension to make people laugh, a la Cloud to Butt, or maybe you'd like to make a program that converts pixel art into cross-stitching patterns, maybe you want to just make a cool adventure game on those annoying graphing calculators they make you use in class, or make a script for some online game you play, or make something silly with Arduino (i once made a trash can that rolled toward me when i clapped my hands; it was fun, and way easier than you'd think!), whatever.

i know a lot of hacker-types who got their start doing ROM hacking for video games—replacing the character art or animations or whatever in old NES games. that's probably more relevant than the PHP websites, at least, and is probably a solid place to get started; in my experience those communities tend to be reasonably friendly to questions. pick a small thing you want to do & ask how to do it.

also, a somewhat unconventional path, but—once i knew how to program a bit of Python, i started doing goofy junk, like, "hey can i implemented NamedTuple from scratch,” which tends to lead to Python metaprogramming, which leads to surprising shit like "oh, stack frames are literally just Python objects and you can manually edit them in the interpreter to do deliberately horrendous/silly things, my god this language allows too much reflection and i'm having too much fun"... since Python is a lot of folks' first language these days, i thought i'd point that out, since i think this is a pretty accessible start to thinking about How Programs Actually Work under the hood. allison kaptur has some specific recommendations on how to poke around, if you wanna go that route.

it's reasonably likely you'll end up doing something "hackery" in the natural course of just working on stuff. for instance, while i was working on the IPB forum software mods, i became distressed to learn that everyone was using an INSECURE version of the software! no one was patching their shit!! i yelled at the admins about it, and they were like "well we haven't been hacked yet so it's not a problem," so i uh, decided to demonstrate a proof of concept? i downloaded some sketchy perl script, kicked it until it worked, logged in as the admins, and shitposted a bit before i logged out, y'know, to prove my point.

(they responded by banning me for two weeks, and did not patch their software. which, y'know, rip to them; they got hacked by an unrelated Turkish group two months later, and those dudes just straight-up deleted the whole website. i was a merciful god by comparison!)

anyway, even though downloading a perl script and just pointing it at a website isn't really "hacking" (it's the literal definition of script kiddie, heh)—the point is i was just experimenting a lot and trying a lot of stuff, which meant i was getting comfortable with thinking of software as not just some immutable relic, but something you can touch and prod in unexpected ways.

this dovetails into the next thing, which is like, just learn a lot of stuff. a boring conventional computer science degree will teach you a lot (provided you take it seriously and actually try to learn shit); alternatively, just taking the same classes as a boring conventional computer science degree, via edX or whatever free online thingy, will also teach you a lot. ("contributing to open source" also teaches you a lot but... hngh... is a whole can of worms; send a follow-up ask if you want that rant.)

here's where i should note that "hacking" is an impossibly broad category: the kind of person who knows how to fuck with website authentication tokens is very different than someone who writes a fuzzer, who is often quite different than someone who looks at the bug a fuzzer produces and actually writes a program that can exploit that bug... so what you focus on depends on what you're interested in. i imagine classes with names like "compilers," "operating systems," and "networking" will teach you a lot. but, like, idk, all knowledge is god-breathed and good for teaching. hell, i hear some universities these days have actual computer security classes? that's probably a good thing to look at, just to get a sense of what's out there, if you already know how to program.

also be comfortable with not knowing everything, but also, learn as you go. the bulk of my security knowledge came when i got kinda airdropped into a work team that basically hired me entirely on "potential" (lmao), and uh, prior to joining i only had the faintest idea what a hypervisor was? or the whole protection ring concept? or ioctls or sandboxing or threat models or, fuck, anything? i mostly just pestered people with like 800 questions and slowly built up a knowledge base, and remember being surprised & delighted when i went to a security conference a year later and could follow most of the talks, and when i wound up at a bar with a guy on the xbox security team and we compared our security models a bunch, and so on.  there wasn't a magic moment when i "got it", i was just like, "okay huh this dude says he found a ring-0 exploit... what does that mean... okay i think i got that... why is that a big deal though... better ask somebody.." (also: reading an occasional dead tree book is a good idea. i owe my firstborn to Robert Love's Linux Kernel Development, as outdated as it is, and also O'Reilly's kookaburra book gave me a great overview of web programming back in the day, etc.  you can learn a lot by just clicking around random blogs, but you’ll often end up with a lot of random little facts and no good mental scaffolding for holding it together; often, a decent book will give you that scaffolding.)

(also, it's pretty useful if you can find a knowledgable someone to pepper with random questions as you go. finding someone who will actively mentor you is tricky, but most working computery folks are happy to tell you things like "what you're doing is actually impossible, here's why," or "here's a tutorial someone told me was good for learning how to write a linux kernel module," or "here's my vague understanding of this concept you know nothing about," or "here's how you automate something to click on a link on a webpage," which tends to be handier than just google on its own.)

if you're reading this and you're like "ok cool but where's the part where i'm handed a computer and i gotta break in while going all hacker typer”—that's not the bulk of the work, alas! like, for sure, we do have fun pranking each other by trying dumb ways of stealing each other's passwords or whatever (once i stuck a keylogger in a dude's keyboard, fun times). but a lot of my security jobs have involved stuff like, "stare at this disassembly a long fuckin' time to figure out how the program pointer got all fucked up," or, "write a fuzzer that feeds a lot of randomized input to some C++ program, watch the program crash because C++ is a horrible language for writing software, go fix all the bugs," or "think Really Hard TM about all the settings and doohickeys this OS/GPU/whatever has, think about all the awful things someone could do with it, threat model and sandbox accordingly." occasionally i have done cool proof-of-concept hacks but honestly writing exploits can kinda be tedious, lol, so like, i'm only doing that if it's the only way i can get people to believe that Yes This Is Actually A Problem, Fix Your Code

"lua that's cool and all but i wanted, like, actual links and recommendations and stuff" okay, fair. here's some ideas:

microcorruption: very fun embedded security CTF; teaches you everything you need to know as you're doing it.

cryptopals crypto challenges: very fun little programming exercises that teach you a lot of fundamental cryptography concepts as you're going along! you can do these even as a bit of a n00b; i did them in Python for the lulz

the binary bomb lab is hilariously copied by, like, so many CS programs, lol, but for good reason. it's accessible and fun and is the first time most people get to feel like a real hacker! (requires you know a bit of C beforehand)

ctftime is a good way to see when new CTFs ("capture the flag"s; security-focused competitions) are coming up. or, sometimes CTFs post their source code, so you can continue trying them after the CTF is over. i liked Stripe's CTFs when they were going, because they focused on "web stuff", and "web stuff" was all i really knew at the time. if you're more interested in staring at disassembly, there's CTFs focused on that sort of thing too.

azeria has good ARM assembly & exploitation tutorials

also, like, lots of good talks out there; just watching defcon/cansecwest/etc talks until something piques your interest is very fun. i'd die on a battlefield for any of Christopher Domas's talks, but he assumes a lot of specific x86/OS knowledge, lol, so maybe don’t start with that. oh, Julia Evans's blog is honestly probably pretty good for just learning a lot of stuff and really beginner-friendly?

oh and wrt legality... idk, i haven't addressed it here since it hasn't come up in my own work much, tbh. if you're just getting started you're kind of unlikely to Break The Law without, y'know, realizing maybe you're doing something a bit gray-area? and you can cross that bridge when you come to it? Real Hacking TM is way more of a pain-in-the-ass than doing CTFs and such, and you'll learn way more with the latter, so who cares lol just do the fun thing

[justactsupernatural]

The Ax

- Based on the fact that Alan has an honest to God ax on the wall next to his bed (even if it is like a collectable from his game) that I believe is a 100% real blade and he knows how to throw it

- And we know that he can use it because it was showed in Endgame (Season 3, Episode 11) so…yeah

-----------------------------------------------------------

They had no idea where it came from, because none of them bought it for him and they know for a fact that he didn’t order it online, it just appeared one day on the wall above his bed, with no explanation on the how, when, or where.

He never answered their questions about it, deflecting until the topic was forgotten or something else came up, not even Kayo managed to get an answer, and Kayo always got answers.

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 Gordon was the first to see it, and, after questioning his brother with no success, he decided to raise the subject at dinner.

“So, are we going to talk about the ax on your wall or are we just supposed to ignore it?” he not so subtly asked Alan, causing the attention of everyone else at the table (including John’s hologram) to turn their eyes in their direction.

“The what?” asked Scott, his tone of voice and the way his eyebrows were disappearing into his hairline showing his obvious ignorance and shock on the subject. The rest of the table wasn’t any better, everyone with varying degrees of surprise and/or concern in their faces (if it was for the youngest Tracy’s security or their own no one knows) at the aquanaut’s comment.

“The ax on my wall” said Alan without missing a beat and happily shoving another spoonful of ramen inside his mouth, blissfully ignorant of the alarmed looks sent his way. “Alan why the hell do you have an ax on your wall?” asked Virgil, looking thoroughly disgusted when the blonde tried to speak with his mouth full before realizing he would have to swallow to answer “Why not? The space next to my guitar was empty and the ax fit, besides, it would have gotten dusty in the closet” replied the teenager shrugging his shoulders.

“I think what Virgil meant is why do you have an ax at all and where did it come from?” said John, turning slightly to check something in one of the monitors in Five before looking back at his fellow star-lover sibling.

“Wouldn’t you like to know” replied Alan cheekily before taking his empty plate (the third one, his stomach really was a bottomless pit) before excusing himself and going to his room, leaving everyone to look after his retreating back and wonder just what the fuck.

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 After carefully paraphrased questions and no answers, six months later they still had no clue where the ax had come from and why Alan had it. The youngest Tracy insisted that it was firmly secured to his wall and it wouldn’t fall on top of him and chop him up like pork while he slept (starting with the fact that he slept on the floor more often than not), so he was allowed to keep it.

Life kept going and the knowledge of the ax hanging on Alan’s wall became one of those things Scott talked about on his whiskey and complaining meetings with Colonel Casey, but there was no other mention on it, aside from the time John told them he figured out it was a toy from the video game their little brother was always playing (Cave Trek or something like that).

With the reassurance that the double-blade ax was a toy and presented no real, sharp threat to the resident astronaut’s life, rescues and other shenanigans kept happening on Tracy Island as normal.

And then the spider happened.

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 It wasn’t common for all the earthbound brothers to be at the house at the same time with no rescue taking any of them away, but it appeared that whoever was out there ruling the universe decided that giving the four Tracy brothers a good scare was funnier than only scaring one of them.

Virgil saw the spider first, screaming his head off and yelling at Scott to kill it while climbing on top of the couch to escape the bug; the brunette, who at the moment had been doing some paperwork on his desk, looked up to see what the commotion was all about.

Alan and Gordon had been playing a rather aggressive hand of Go Fish in the kitchen table before deciding that laughing at his older brothers’ shenanigans was more interesting, only to have any amusement in them die at the sight of the arachnid.

That thing could only be a demon trying to take a physical appearance because the size of its body was not normal.

With a newfound respect for Mother Nature and all her creatures, the four boys slowly moved towards the staircase that would take them to their rooms, moving with a synchronization that could only come from years of working rescues together. But the spider saw through their plans and attacked.

Separating and looking around to try and spot the arachnid before realizing it was nowhere in sight, the brothers jumped on the table and formed a circle to try and see where the spider could come from at all angles.

“Wait!” screamed Alan “I have an idea, I’ll be right back!” with that, he turned and ran towards the stairs and their rooms, leaving his brothers behind. Ignoring the outraged and betrayed cries of his fellow spider-kidnap victims, the blonde ran up the stairs and disappeared down the corridor.

“Coward” screamed Gordon, turning to look at the remaining two before looking to the couch and walls to try and spot the home invader. “Now what? I can’t find it and I am not getting down from this table if we don’t kill it” said Virgil while holding a pillow in front of him, mimicking a shield.

“Look we just need to reach the holo-phone and call Grandma or Kayo, they can find it and kill it and then we can ju-OH MY GOD IT’S THERE!” hollered Scott, jumping out of the way just as the spider jumped in his direction. The other two scrambled off and started walking backwards towards the kitchen, never losing sight of the arachnid.

The demon spawn followed them slowly, climbing to the floor before making its way across the wall leading to the kitchen and corralling the brothers when there was a sudden yell from the balcony upstairs.

“Get down!” dropping to the floor without a second thought, the three of them heard a whoosh over their heads and an inhuman screech followed by the sound of running footsteps. Slowly rising and turning to look, they saw what could only be the remains of the spider, nailed to the wall by a very real and sharp looking ax.

Alan reached them and grabbed the ax, pulling out of the wall and grimacing at the spider bits that clung to the blade. Looking at their baby brother, Scott could only register one thing in the whole situation “IT’S A REAL AX?!”

“Uh…yes? What other kind would it be?” responded Alan with a not-so-subtle condescending tone to his voice.

“WE THOUGHT IT WAS A TOY!” apparently, the oldest Tracy was far from calming down and he had more to say “WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU HAVE A REAL AX HANGING OVER YUR BED ALAN?! AND WHY WOULD YOU THROW IT AT US?! YOU MADE A HOLE IN THE WALL!”

“Ok, first of all it’s not going to fall alright? Its pretty secure” started the blonde, ticking off his fingers with each point made “second of all, I know how to throw an ax Scott, I’m not going to chop your head off” rolling his eyes the youngest Tracy walked over to the wall and continued “and third, we can just cover it up” moving the big pot slightly to the right, the astronaut successfully covered the hole.

“There is still spider in it” pointed out the resident aquanaut, a confused and slightly disgusted look on his face.

“Meh, I’ll clean it up later” stated the blonde ax-thrower before turning back to his brothers with a smile.

“I’m too sober for this” sighed Scott, pinching the bridge of his nose and turning towards the kitchen, Virgil at his heels.

Turning towards his fellow blonde, Gordon looked Alan up and down before focusing on the ax and nodding slightly “Cool” with that, he turned and followed his older brothers.

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 That incident was the first of man, and a lot of the pots, tables, jars, paintings, and decorations throughout Tracy Island were moved a few inches to the right or to the left, rescues keeping them from fixing the walls or floors.

So, it was only natural that they completely forgot to tell their father about this when he came back.

“Why is there a hole in the wall?” asked Jeff Tracy perplexed, holding the painting he was trying to admire more closely while looking at his sons for an explanation.

Turning to look at Alan, the other four brothers turned around and left, leaving the blonde to explain to their father the reason behind the many, many, many holes in the villa.

“Well…you see Dad, there was this spider”

[jeongyunhoed]

You’re traveling to another dimension It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity It is the middle ground between light and shadow, Between science and superstition It ties between the pit of man’s fears and the summit of his knowledge This is the dimension of imagination

An ATEEZ Twilight Zone!AU (masterlist here)

A/N: Best not read this in the summer. I hope this lives up to the previous chapters! 

VII. Heat (Wooyoung)

11:30 p.m.

Jung Wooyoung wiped the sweat trickling down his face with the hem of his shirt or rather, the only other dry part of his t-shirt. He trudged towards his kitchen, in the hopes of sitting in front of the refrigerator for an hour if the power has not been cut off yet. He hoped he would be able to take a drink of whatever water he had left. He was lucky he had a supply, hoarding case after case of bottled water just before the Earth’s orbit shifted along with the gravitational pull. Even though it was getting close to midnight, the sun shone through the windows like it was high noon, through his curtains, as if boring a hole into the fabrics. The temperatures were getting hotter, and Wooyoung felt like his body would give in at any minute. 

That was his situation and the situation of everyone else on the planet. The Earth was moving closer and closer to the sun, bringing on a heatwave unlike any other. Based on the news reports he heard and saw, the oceans had evaporated, the food and water supplies were becoming more and more scarce, and the power companies have announced that they would be gradually cutting off the electricity, and it meant people didn’t have much time to charge whatever devices they had. 

Wooyoung tried not to use his phone as much as possible, knowing that he had to preserve the battery life, especially when the electricity was gradually getting turned off. What made things seem a little bleaker was the fact that he was one of the last two residents in the building, the other one being his neighbor Jea, Ahn Jea, who wasn’t much older than him, but behaved like a recluse and hardly spoke to anyone. He knew she was probably having a hard time trying to cope with the extreme heat as well. 

Their former neighbors either moved out to search for a place that was a lot cooler or suffered from heat strokes in their homes. Wooyoung trudged towards the door and peeked outside, already seeing his neighbor standing by the threshold of her apartment, holding up a hand fan to her face. Both of them were sweating through their clothes, and if he was the only one around, he would’ve been walking around his place and all over the building with a lot less clothing on. But he wasn’t. 

“The reports,” She breathed, glancing at him. “The reports say this is only going to get worse,” She said. 

“Yeah,” Wooyoung wiped his face again. The hallway was the only part of the building that was a tiny bit cool as there wasn’t any sun shining through. “It is, it’s only going to get worse, but we can make it, I hope,” He said, in an attempt to stay positive. 

“Do you really believe that?” She asked. 

“Not one bit,” Wooyoung immediately replied with a sigh. “It’s so hot I can cook eggs on my kitchen counter.” 

“The face spray I used, the water inside it evaporated,” Jea leaned against her door. “It’s going to take a miracle for this to stop, for something to change,” She whimpered, turning her hand fan off and fanning her face. 

Wooyoung pushed his sweat-slicked hair back. He showered during the one hour that the water supply was on, making the most of the hour by staying in his bathroom to keep cool. “When will this end?” He whined, slinking down on the marble floor. “When will this end?” He whispered, wiping his face with his sleeves. 

“This is how we’re going to die, isn’t it?” Jea opened her eyes to look over at him. 

“Yeah, it seems like it” He nodded. “If we aren’t going to die, then this is one story to tell the grandchildren…” He slowly got up. 

“Good luck with that…” Jea slurred, her eyes closing again. 

Wooyoung turned to her. “Why don’t you stay with me? I know it can be suffocating all alone” He said. If he couldn’t bear with the heat, at least he knew he didn’t need to bear with it alone. “It’s just the two of us left here, we need to stick together in case anything happens to one of us.” He helped her get up. 

“Sure, sure, let’s leave our doors open, it’s hot enough with it closed” She suggested and he agreed, pushing his door all the way back to keep it open. 

Wooyoung heard his phone beep, and he padded towards the kitchen to get it. There was an emergency notification telling him that the temperatures were approaching 50 degrees celsius and that there may be people trying to break in and loot as the police officers were now just as scarce as the food and drinking water supply. He groaned, feeling his body grow weaker the longer he was awake. Was this his apartment? Or was it a desert that he was living in? He could no longer tell if it was day or night either.  

“Do you mind if I take my shirt off?” He looked over to ask. It seemed pointless to ask given the circumstances, but he wanted to make sure anyway. 

“I don’t care, it’s too hot to care” He heard her mutter. 

Wooyoung pulled his shirt over his head and stood next to the refrigerator, opening it slightly to let some of the cold air out. He suddenly heard a loud crash coming from the hallway. He stood up straight and reached in his drawer for a kitchen knife. It was probably one of those looters, he thought. “Jea?” He called out softly, and to his surprise, he saw her already collapsed on the floor. “Jea!” He knelt down, checking her pulse before seating her upright. “Jea, we’ve got company, please stay awake,” He said. 

“Awake?” She slurred. “It’s too hot, it’s too hot” She whined, on the verge of tears mixed in with the sweat trickling down the sides of her face. “It’s too hot…” She wiped her face with her hand. 

“Yes, please stay awake, someone’s at the door and they might try and steal things from you and me,” He said. “It’s on the alerts, people are looting-” He paused when he heard footsteps. Wooyoung picked up the knife and crept towards the door. “Don’t think about coming in here! I’ve got a knife and I won’t hesitate to stab you if you try” He managed to threaten. 

A man burst in before Wooyoung could register what was going on, taking the knife and knocking him over. “Get out of my way!” He said. 

Wooyoung followed close behind, cracking his knuckles as if poised to fight in case the man would go after his neighbor. Instead, he noticed him make a beeline towards his kitchen, towards the refrigerator and grab a bottle of water to drink. “You could’ve just asked you know” He called him out. 

The man paused upon seeing him and the girl on the floor. He dropped the knife. “I-I’m so sorry… I didn’t know what came over me, it’s too hot you know, it’s too hot-” He said, on the verge of tears. 

“You’re lucky the police aren’t around, or you would’ve been caught already” Wooyoung mustered up the energy to speak. It was getting too hot to talk, and if he wasn’t going crazy from the heat yet, he could sense that the sun was only shining brighter, only confirming that it was growing worse and worse by the minute. 

“I know, I know, I’m sorry,” The man knelt down as if to beg for forgiveness. “My-my fiance and I were about to elope, but she suffered from a heat stroke, and now it’s just me- Just me, there’s hardly anyone else out there- I’m a honest man, I swear, I didn’t mean to break in” 

“Hardly anyone else?” Wooyoung saw Jea mumble and he rushed over to her, trying to hold her to keep her awake. 

“Yes, hardly anyone else… I’m Jongho. Choi Jongho- forgive me, you won’t see me again” He stumbled back onto his feet. 

Wooyoung nodded, and Jongho fled, the sound of his footsteps echoing out in the hallway. “Wooyoung, tell me about something cold, please” He heard Jea mumble and he kept her close. “Something cold, so we can get away from this hellhole...” 

“Alright,” He said, sitting down. He knew he needed that just as much as she did. “A swimming pool,” Wooyoung closed his eyes as he tried to imagine what he was telling her. “A waterfall, an oasis in the middle of a desert, the nearest water park from here,” He whispered, in the hopes that it helped. “The waves from the sea…”

“I can feel it” Jea mumbled, her eyes still closed. “The water all around, the waves splashing, I don’t want to leave” She whispered, before collapsing in his arms. 

Wooyoung stared at her, checking her pulse again and freezing at the realization. Jea no longer had a pulse. The heat had killed her. “Jea? Jea?” He called out, hoping that he was wrong. “Jea,” He tried to shake her awake, but to no avail. He heard something burst. It was his phone, having been exposed to the sliver of light from the window. It burned and melted on top of his kitchen counter. 

He saw the painting on his wall begin to melt, the fabrics of his curtains beginning to burn. The heat was becoming more and more unbearable. “No, no, stop!” He yelled, shocked at what was happening around him. Wooyoung looked up at the clock. It was already midnight. “No! No! Stop! Please!” He screamed before collapsing. 

~ 

“Please, stop, stop the heat, please, please, it’s so hot,” Wooyoung was mumbling in his sleep. The doctor, Kang Yeosang, was holding up a thermometer. He was tossing and turning in his bed that night. The city outside was dark and appeared to be covered in a heavy blanket of snow as his neighbor Jea, who kept watch over him, saw from his window. 

“He’s got a fever, hopefully, he’ll be recovering in a few days, give or take,” Yeosang told her. 

“Okay, thank you for making your way here,” Jea said to him, following him to the door. 

“Both of you should bundle up, it’s only going to get colder from now on,” Yeosang told her. “I’ll be leaving in a few days. I will be meeting my family down south, where it’s warm.” 

“When will you be back?” Jea asked him. 

“I don’t think I’ll be back. Didn’t you see the news? Over time, our planet’s moving further and further away from the Sun. Over the next few years, we’d be as far as Neptune, or Pluto even, at least that’s what the news is saying. Sooner or later we’ll all be covered in ice, in eternal night,” Yeosang said quietly before bidding her goodbye. 

She returned to sit by Wooyoung’s bed, pressing a cold compress over his forehead. 

[ikesenhell]

1985 Camaro

AMERICAN DREAM, Chapter 2. You can find all other IkeSen works of mine here. NOTES: Brief conversation about prior death, otherwise safe. Thank you @missjudge-me for commissioning this piece!

---

They camped out on the back patio until the sun set. He cooked gyoza and rice balls and some pan-fried chicken, and she ordered ice cream delivery, and they nested their knees together and tucked into a pint of something labeled ‘Just Ask’ and when he asked, she wouldn’t tell him, not even when he tickled her (It wound up being a delicious caramel-Oreo flavor). She instead told him about her degree and moving out, about keeping in contact with Mitsunari as he served in Tanzania through hand-written notes on origami paper. They swapped curated Instagram snapshots and embarrassing anecdotes and reminisced. 

“I’m sorry,” she said finally. “About your dad.”

Masamune shrugged. There was nothing to say. It hurt and always would, but that was his private journey. “Old bastard waited too long to have kids s’what. If he’d had me at a nice, respectable age, we wouldn’t be doing this, the old coot!” He waved a dramatic fist at the sky, relishing her giggles. “You fucked up!”

Overhead, his mother’s bedroom light flicked on. 

“Shit,” he muttered. She dropped her face into her hands to stifle the raucous laughter. 

“How—” Now she was whispering. Masamune wriggled closer, their legs reflexively entwining. “How’s that going?”

“Better than it used to. We can talk without yelling. Something something time and distance. I’m planning on hunkering down here for a little bit, and once all of the stuff is settled, I’ll probably go back north. The restaurant owners offered to hold my position for me, which is really nice.” 

“Hell yeah it is. Isn’t that kind of a cut throat world? They must love you.”

“Yeah. Good openings don’t stay open long in the restaurant biz, so that’s really cool.” Absently, he ran his thumb over the whorls of the deck. “What about you? What’s next?”

“Well.” And she paused, eyes luminous. “I got offered a job interview out east. It’s a good job.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Once upon a time, when she was too nervous to really settle her heart on something she wanted, she smiled shyly and fluttered her eyes away. Some things stayed the same. His heart surged as the familiar expression played out before him. “It could be a game changer for me.”

“That the case, huh?”

“Yeah. I mean, I have to do some logistics, and I have to interview, right? But if I get it…” She stretched up to the sky, wriggling her fingers long at the clouds, all the prickled flesh on her arms visible in the cold moonlight. Without thinking, he shuffled closer to warm her. “I mean, I have to actually get to the interview first, so there’s the first hurdle.”

Masamune chewed his lip. “How far out is it?”

“It’s in Virginia. Complete other side of the country. The plane tickets are outrageous.”

“Damn. Guess you’re road tripping, huh?”

A gust of warm breath huffed from her lips. “I mean, I hate going on them alone, but I don’t even have a car right now. Mine got totaled; kid hit me when I was driving down here. Guess I’m taking a damn greyhound.”

His first reaction was to say ‘yikes’, and then… well. Masamune paused, soaking in the possibilities. “So you need a car is what you’re saying?”

“Mmhmm.”

Back in the day, his dad often said that the universe lined things up. Masamune didn't exactly believe in fate—he believed in making things happen—but occasionally, he saw the reasoning. 

“How do you like eighties cars?” He asked. 

She eyed him, a smile in her eyes and voice. “Like the Camaro? Sure, it’s cool. Why?”

Masamune snickered. “Everything in the Date family is cool as hell. What if I told you I could get you a car and a road trip buddy?”

The click of her brain working was almost audible. “Don’t you have to be here?”

“Gotta wait for the death certificates, which is probably a week or so. Mom wants the Camaro gone, and if she has to be around me too long, she’ll probably get sick of me real quick. I might as well make myself scarce and hang out with a dear friend. Besides—I’ll cut you a deal on selling you it. Call it a test drive.”

“A test drive? For like, a week?” But she was grinning, her shoulders angled in toward his. “Weeklong test drives aren’t kosher, Mr. Date.”

“And I’m not Jewish.”

“Are you being serious right now?”

“Serious as my dad’s grave.” Masamume brushed a lock of stray hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear. “Want me along for the ride?”

Once upon a time, years ago, the whole gang got into an altercation with an older man in a Ford pickup. They were only teenagers sitting on a dock, but the guy pulled up and screamed at them for ‘loitering’. Mitsunari tried to intervene, and when the man acted like he might hit him, Ieyasu almost threw hands himself. They’d retreated into the woods—and when the man left, Masamune, Mitsuhide, and she went back and lit the dock on fire to spite him. Right beforehand, she’d fixed him with the most mischievous expression he’d ever seen: mouth sucked into her teeth, eyes glittering, staring out from under her lashes. 

Now, she made that same expression, and it lit a fire in him. 

“We’d have to leave like…” She mentally calculated. “In three days to make it.”

“Or we could take the long road, do a little sightseeing, and leave tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” She echoed. Only a half second later, that smile was back. “I’m game.”

---

At six a.m. sharp, Masamune tried to wake her by flinging rocks at her window. That didn't work. At last he resorted to calling her, discovering that she stayed in a completely different room now. 

“Could’a used that knowledge,” he chuckled, hopping in place to warm his legs. The fog pressed in around him, September chill early this year. “Don’t suppose anyone is using that room?”

Her voice was thin, but warm over the phone. “No, it’s a home gym now.” 

“Great! I didn't hassle anyone else. Get out here, Kitten, we got a road to get on.”

She emerged twenty minutes later, sweatpants fresh from the dryer, wet hair in a sloppy bun and a suitcase click-clacking behind her. She never was a morning person. Masamune snickered and popped the Camaro trunk. “Wanna drive, or wanna let me do it?”

“You start. Can we get some Starbucks?”

“Ugh.” He clutched his chest, mock-wounded. “All of the coffee places in the world, and you want Starbucks. My palate is crying.”

Rolling her eyes, she slid into the passenger seat. “Drama queen.”

They got Starbucks. She tucked her feet into fuzzy socks and folded them under her knees, clutching the large mocha. Only the rush of the road beneath their tires filled the silence. Asphalt and trees emerged from the mist like a benevolent ghost, Americana obscured. They’d only just merged onto the highway when Masamune realized there wasn’t an audio jack in the car.

“Shit,” he muttered. 

She opened her eyes, head lolling on the headrest. “What?”

He flicked the dashboard. Nope, no audio jack. Not even a CD player. No; amidst all the toggles and buttons of the dash was a cassette player. “I don’t have anything to listen to. This thing won’t hook up to the phones, and I don’t have any tapes.”

“Hm.” Taking a long sip of her drink, she mused, “Maybe your dad has some in here?”

“I guess that’d make sense. Take a look around, would you?”

Sure enough, she was right. Tucked away in the glove compartment was a treasure trove: Fleetwood Mac, Eagles, AC/DC, Prince, Michael Jackson, Bruce Springsteen. “Damn,” she chuckled, “Your dad had good taste.”

Masamune took the copy of Rumors in his fingers, never taking his eyes off the road. The dust was thick under his thumb. “He’d play ‘Back in Black’ when he picked me up from school. It was cool as hell.” With a snap, he pried open the copy of Rumors and popped it into the player. The speakers hummed to life with strumming guitar, Fleetwood Mac echoing. “I know there’s nothing to say, someone has taken my place…” She rested her elbow on the center console, brushing his arm with her as she texted. 

“Guess what?” She murmured. “Mitsunari just got back from Tanzania.”

“Oh shit, really?” How long had it been? Masamune mentally calculated the dates. “I guess it has been two years, huh? The Peace Corps finally turned him loose?”

“Yeah. He’s apparently crashing at Ieyasu’s place—” Masamune barked a laugh, and she tittered, but continued, “—and wants to know if we’re going to head that direction.”

“He’s in Maryland, right?” Fishing out his phone, he checked it. “Yasu didn't tell me about this. Bastard. Well, we get there fast enough, then we can definitely hunker down there for a day or so and celebrate his coming back.”

Classic rock kept them company on the long drive. He didn't mind roadtrips. There was something sacred about them. Forget the American Dream; it was dead. Long live the American Road Trip, a rite of passage for the lost souls from sea to shining sea. Nothing cleared the senses like cranking up the heater on the floorboards and rolling down the window to a blast of autumn air. She let down her hair and it whipped wild in the wind. 

Thank God she was here. Masamune quietly relished her reappearance in his life. She was a gateway to an old world, one with his father alive, one where he still snuck out of the house at night and biked to the 7-Eleven for slurpees at 3a.m. They stopped at a Cracker Barrel for dinner and ordered root beer floats and roasted each other over the annoying ‘jump-the-pegs’ game perched on every table. Though you were supposed to reduce it to one peg, she couldn’t quite manage it. Somehow she kept getting two or three. 

“I got it down to one peg once,” she laughed, shoving it toward him. Masamune swirled it under his hand. 

“I can do it,” he commented. “But that’s because Mitsunari taught me the trick years ago.” He knocked the first peg out of the top of the triangle, moving it elsewhere. “That’s the one that’s gotta be empty. From there on out, there’s a set solution.”

She craned over it, investigating. “What’s the set solution?”

A long, hefty pause lingered between them as he slurped some of his float. 

“Dunno anymore.” He cracked a grin. “I forgot like, eight years ago.”

“Ass! Then you don’t know!” She swatted at his arm and grinned. “Liar!”

“Hey! I was just trying to look cool in front’a you, Kitten, I can’t look like some big dumb stud after all these years—”

“I love how you allow for the possibility that you’re dumb,��� she cackled, “but not the possibility that you’re anything other than hot.”

“Am I wrong? Look at me.”

The roll of her eyes was exactly what he wanted. She shoved a biscuit at him over the table. “I think Mark Twain said something like, ‘it’s better to stop talking and appear dumb than open your mouth and remove any doubt’, Masamune.”

He clutched at his chest, but took the biscuit anyway. “You wound me, Kitten.”

As they were paying the bill, she split off and reappeared a minute later, plunking thirty cents onto the cash register and tucking a cinnamon stick into his jacket pocket. “Here.”

“My favorite!” He peeled back the plastic wrapper. “Thanks, Kitkat. You remembered.”

For the first time since they’d seen each other again, her expression evolved to one he’d almost forgotten. He’d only seen it once before. It was a moonlit night back in their senior year, after prom, when they were both lingering in the pool as everyone else passed out drunk. He’d wiped a leaf from her hair and told her she was beautiful, and she’d looked at him like that so long and hard that he wondered if he’d ever known her inner thoughts at all. 

“Of course I remembered,” she answered at last, soft and clarion clear. “I remember all kinds of things about you, Masamune.”

[thelittlesttimelord]

The Littlest Timelord: The Death of the Doctor Chapter 30

TITLE: The Littlest Timelord: The Death of the Doctor Chapter 30 PAIRING: No Pairing RATING: T CHAPTER: 30/? SUMMARY:  The Doctor’s death is looming on the horizon and Elise is growing every  day. What the Doctor doesn’t know is that he has 200 years to teach Elise all he knows. Amy, Rory, and River let Elise in on their secret,  because River knows she will keep it. What will Elise do when he’s gone?

[A/N - Chapter 30! God, can you believe it? Just a few more chapters till the end! Are you ready?]

After retrieving Joe, they went back to the restaurant. Joe was lying on a table while the Doctor scanned him.

Rita was making tea for everyone.

Howie and Rory were trying to find things to barricade the door with.

“If we can wedge a chair under the door handles, that should stop anything from getting in,” Rory said.

Rita walked over to the Doctor and Elise with mugs of tea.

“Thank you,” Elise said.

“What exactly happened to him?” Rita asked, gesturing to Joe.

“He died,” the Doctor told her.

“You are a medical doctor, aren't you? You haven't just got a degree in cheese-making or something.”

“No! Well, yes, both, actually. I mean, there is no cause. All his vital organs simply stopped, as if the simple spark of life, his loves and hates, his faiths and fears were just taken…” The Doctor sniffed his mug. “…and this is a cup of tea.”

Well what else would it be? Elise wanted to say something, but the Doctor clearly wasn’t having any of her attitude on this trip. In human years, Elise would be classified as a teenager. Is that why she felt angry or sad all the time? Hormones?

“Of course, I'm British, it's how we cope with trauma. That and tutting,” Rita said.

“But how did you make it?”

“All hotels should have a well stocked kitchen, even alien fake ones. I heard you talking when you arrived. Look, it's no more ridiculous than Howie's CIA theory, or mine.”

“Which is?”

“This is Jahannam.”

“You're a Muslim.”

“Don't be frightened.”

The Doctor laughed. “You think this is Hell.”

“The whole '80s hotel thing took me by surprise, though.”

“And all these fears and phobias wandering about, most are completely unconnected to us, so why are they still here?”

Rita sighed. “Maybe the cleaners have gone on strike.”

The Doctor chuckled. “I like you. You're a right clever clogs. But this isn't Hell, Rita.”

“You don't understand. I say that without fear. Jahannam will play its tricks, and there'll be times when I want to run and scream, but I've tried to live a good life, and that knowledge keeps me sane, despite the monsters and the bonkers rooms. Gibbis is an alien, isn't he?”

“Yeah. Sorry.”

“Okay. I'm going to file that under Freak Out About Later.”

“Doctor, look at this. I found it in a corridor, I completely forgot I had it,” Amy said, handing over the paper she found earlier.

The Doctor playfully smacked her on the head with it. “My name is Lucy Hayward and I'm the last one left. It took Luke first. It got him on his first day, almost as soon as we arrived. It's funny. You don't know what's going to be in your room until you see it, then you realize it could never have been anything else. I just saw mine. It was a gorilla from a book I'd read as a kid. My God, that thing used to terrify me. The gaps between my worships are getting shorter, like contractions. This is what happened to the others, and how lucky they were. It's all so clear now. I'm so happy. Praise him. Praise him.”

“Praise him,” Howie said.

Everyone’s heads turned towards him.

“What did you just say?” the Doctor asked.

“Nothing. Praise him!”

“This is what happened to Joe!” Gibbis shrieked.

“God, it's going to come for me now,” Howie moaned.

“You'll lead it right here.”

“I won't leave you. I promise you. You have my word on that,” the Doctor reassured him.

“I don't want to get eaten.”

“Calm down,” Amy said.

“He's going to lead the creature right here!” Gibbis yelled.

Elise really wanted to hit him to get him to shut up.

The Doctor pulled out his screwdriver. It whirred loudly and everyone went quiet. “Thank you.”

“Don't you see? He'll lead it right here,” Gibbis said.

“What do you suggest?” Rita asked.

“Look, whatever it is out there, it's obviously chosen Howard as its next course. Now, tragic though that is, this is no time for sentiment. I'm saying if it were to find him, it may be satisfied and let the rest of us go. All I want to do is go home and be conquered and oppressed. Is that too much to ask?!”

Elise opened her mouth to go off on Gibbis, but was cut off by Rita.

“It's okay. I'll stay with Howie. You take the others and go.”

“No. We stay together,” the Doctor said. The Doctor walked over to Gibbis. “Your civilization is one of the oldest in the galaxy. Now I see why. Your cowardice isn't quaint, it's sly, aggressive. Its how that gene of gutlessness has survived while so many others have perished. Well, not today. No one else dies today. Right?”

Gibbis nodded.

“Brilliant. Howie, any second, it's going to possess you again. When it does, I'm going to ask you some questions. Please try to answer them.”

They all sat down at a table, except Elise. She was too restless, so she settled for standing behind her father.

“I hope my mum's all right, she's going to be w-worried,” Howie said. Something came over him.

“Howie?” the Doctor asked.

Howie started smiling.

“Howie. Howie, you're next. We're all dead jealous. So, tell us. How do we get a piece of the action? Why isn't he possessing all of us?”

Howie laughed. “You guys have got all these distractions, all these obstacles. It'd be so much easier if you just let it go, you know? Clear the path.”

“You want it to find you even though you know what it's going to do?” Amy asked.

“Are you kidding? He's going to kill us all. How cool is that?”

They all got up, leaving Howie at the table by himself.

“It's as I thought. It feeds on fear. Everything, the rooms, Lucy's note, even the pictures in reception, has been put here to frighten us. So we have to resist it. Do whatever you have to. Cross your fingers, say a prayer, think of a basket of kittens, but do not give in to the fear,” the Doctor told them.

“Okay, but what are we actually going to do?” Amy asked.

“We're going to catch ourselves a monster.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

They managed to trap the monster, which of course happened to be a Minotaur, in the spa.

“Quite fitting isn’t it? Labyrinth of a hotel?” Elise said, “Makes sense.”

“Nothing personal. I just think we should take things slowly. Get to know each other. You take people's most primal fears and pop it in a room. A tailor-made hell, just for them. Why?” the Doctor asked.

The Minotaur snarled at them.

“Did you say they take? Ah, what is that word? The guard? No, the warden? This is a prison.” The Doctor turned and smiled at Elise. “My clever girl.”

Elise returned the smile.

“So what are we, cell mates? Lunch?”

The Minotaur growled.

“We are not ripe. This is what Joe said, that we weren't ready.”

They stepped out of the shadows and faced him.

“So, what, what, you make us ready. You what? Replace? Replace what, fear? You have lived so long even your name is lost. You want this to stop. Because you are just instinct. Then tell me. Tell me how to fight you.”

Elise’s eyes filled with tears as her hearts broke for the Minotaur. He didn’t want to do this anymore. He wanted it to be over. She knew how he felt.

“My master, my lord. I'm here! Oh! Bring me death.”

“That’s Howie,” Elise said.

“No, no, no, no, no!”

The Minotaur put it’s large fist through the glass separating them.

“Rory, watch out!” the Doctor yelled.

Amy and Rita burst in.

“Stay back!”

The Minotaur smashed the glass and knocked Rory down.

Elise rushed to side. “Rory?” she asked.

“Where'd he go?” the Doctor asked Rory.

“Somebody hit me,” Rory said, “Was it Amy?”

The Doctor got up and ran down the hallway.

“Rory, are you all right?” Rita asked him.

“We should find the Doctor,” Amy said. She stood up and walked towards room 7. She opened the door.

Rita pulled her back and shut it.

Amy, Rory, Elise, and Rita met back up with the Doctor, who had already found Howie dead. They took Howie’s body and laid it out next to Joe’s in the restaurant.

Amy placed the goldfish on a side table in the reception area.

The Doctor walked past Elise and grabbed her arm.

“Where are we going? Why aren’t the others coming?” she asked.

“Because. We’re going to go find our rooms.”

Elise laughed sarcastically. “Okay, you’ve completely lost your mind.”

“C’mon. Don’t you want to know?” The Doctor smiled when he saw the curiosity in her eyes.

As they ventured through the hallway, they could hear whispers.

Elise walked past a door with a number 10 on it. It was calling to her to open it.

Elise looked at her father and he nodded. She opened the door and saw herself standing there. Over the bodies of everyone she cared about.

Her father. Both incarnations of him. Amy. Rory. River. Outside the window, Gallifrey was burning.

She stumbled back into her father’s arms as she let out a shuddering breath. She turned and buried her face in his neck.

“Shhh”, he cooed, as she stroked her hair.

He understood her greatest fear now. Being completely alone. Just like she had been in the last days of the Time War. Before he killed them all.

“Hey”, he said, pulling her away from him. He cupped her face in his hands as tears streamed down from her blue eyes. “I’m not gonna let that happen. Do you hear me?” he told her.

Elise nodded and he placed a kiss on her forehead. She wiped her eyes and sniffled. “Did…did you find your room?” she asked.

He nodded and gestured to room 11.

Elise let out a watery laugh. “Of course.”

He opened the door, just enough to peak, before closing it and putting a Do Not Disturb sign on the doorknob. “C’mon. We need to find the security room.

[marsupials-of-mars]

Milk and Lavender

I've never really had a "rarepair" but a long time ago I pretty much made this up and thought this ship was the cutest and insert it wherever I can. This fic was one of the ones recovered from my phone I lost a year ago and found recently, and I just finished it last night, so if you see a sudden boost in quality near the end, that's why.

Yan hummed cheerfully as she combed her hair. She’d been growing the top out, but not too much. Long hair got in the way. She winged her eyeliner and, after a moment of thought, drew whiskers on her cheeks. She giggled and rubbed them off. She jumped at a knock at the door.

"You almost ready? Mark says we’re almost late.” Yan opened the bathroom door, almost knocking King to the ground. He let out a spooked chatter.

"Yep I’m ready! Cmon, I’ve never been to their place!”

“It’s really fun!” King, although one of the babies of the family, was technically one of the oldest, and had been to the Septic’s house a few times. They usually hung out at the Iplier house because it was bigger, and although there were only seven Septics they were always cramped. Yan had met most of the Septics, though a few didn’t like to travel and never ended up coming over.

"Well I’m excited!” Yan smiled and squished King’s chubby cheeks she loved.

"Me too! Cmon!” King grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the room and down the stairs. Normally Yan hated people touching or dragging her but King meant no harm and he was one of her favorites, so she always allowed it.

“Yandereplier!” Mark motioned Yan to the group. All the egos were gathered in the living room. It was cramped and Yan had to step awkwardly to avoid Goop’s slime trail. She felt a body bump against her shoulder, causing her to stumble. She whipped her head up.

“Bimothy Trimmer, I will END you!” Bim stuck his tongue out and straightened his tie. Yan growled and reached back for her katana but felt nothing but empty sheathes. “Where are Aiko and Yua?!” She heard a distorted sigh.

"All weapons are confiscated until the end of the visit. The Septics have been thoroughly warned but we’re taking all precautions necessary.” Dark gave Yan a condescending look. Yan whined.

“But Anti ALWAYS brings weapons over here!”

“Anti has no decency or respect for social principle. We’re better than that. Aren’t we Yan?” Yan groaned.

“Anti’s cool DAD you’re just lame...”

"Anti is most certainly NOT cool, he’s volatile and childish. YOU are the bigger person.”

"Ugh, let’s just go. I don’t need you lecturing me In front of everyone. And COOL dad is bringing weapons anyway...” Dark looked behind him to find Wilford loading a golden handgun that seemingly appeared from nowhere. He looked up.

"What?”

"Wil, leave it.”

"Aw Cmon...”

“No guns. We’re houseguests.”

"Ugh, fine DAD.” Wil dropped the gun in the sofa.

"I’m nobody’s dad! It’s like herding cats...” Dark mumbled as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Are we all ready to go?” A ripple of nods throughout the group. "Good.” Static built around the room and the group was transported.

"Ooo!” Yan looked up at the house. It was smaller for less egos, but it was really nice. Suffice to say it was actually a house rather than a repurposed two story office building. In any case, Brighton was much less painfully hot than California which was worth the trip on its own. Yan opened her arms toward the house and breathed in the cool air. “Finally!”

"FINALLY!” The front door burst open and a spatter of green distortion tore across the lawn. Yan was barely able to tense up before she was tackled to the ground. “Bitch!”

"Slut!” Yan giggled. “Whaddaya DOIN here?!”

"It’s my house, slice n dice!” Anti sat triumphantly on Yan's stomach. She leaned up and grabbed his shoulders, flipping him off and slamming him onto his back so they lay side by side.

“UOGH! Fuck, my ribs!” Anti gasped the wind back into him. Yan giggled.

“Its MY house.” Yan looked up to see Jack leaning on the doorframe with his arms crossed. “We’ve talked about tackling guests haven’t we Anti?”

"But it’s THIS bitch! She had it comin.” Jack rolled his eyes.

“Cmon in guys. How many of you haven’t been here before?” Bing, Goop, Yan, the Jims, Eric, Derek, Randal, and Harold raised their hands. "Ooo a lot! Well we’ll make sure you have a good time. Now to my knowledge, anyone who hasn’t been here before has never met...” he thought. “Shneep or Robbie. Shneep has work and Robbie is... fragile. So say hi but try not to bother them too much okay?”

The group nodded. Yan squeaked excitedly. She looked to Anti to whisper something but noticed he was gone. She found him already glommed onto Dark to her superior’s annoyance. She didn’t call Anti a slut for her health. She sighed. It looked like she was going to have to find something else to do with herself.

She pushed her way through the door and looked around. It was a nice house, the ceilings weren’t quite as high but it was cozy, modern, and definitely had charm.

Groups were already forming. The Trick Shots (Chase, Bing, Jackie), The Better Than Everyones (Dark, Google, and a new doctor they’d found who Yan guessed was Shneep), The Innocents (King, Marvin, Eric, The Jims, Jamie), and the rest she hadn’t named to groups drifted about between. She sighed. She’d imagined something more fun. She felt like a wallflower at a high school dance.

Anti was busy hanging off Dark, sharing embarrassing stories about Shneep as the doctor tried to join the group. Everyone else sort of bored her. Sure the Innocents were adorable, and the Trick Shots we’re confident and energetic, but not really in her way. As she lay back on the couch, she thought over the introduction Jack had given. There were two egos she hadn’t met. Shneep, Who she’d now seen, and... Rolly? Robert? Remy?

She sat up. That was something to do. Meet the new one. She stood and went to find Jack. She came across him in the kitchen and pulled him away from Mark, who gave her a lecturing look, but he was lame so she didn’t care.

"Jack, you said there was someone we haven’t met? Besides Shneep?”

"Oh! Yeah, Robbie. He should be up from his nap now so you can go meet him. Though be careful, he’s, quite literally, very fragile. His room is down the hall, third to the left, take Shneep, he needs a check up anyway, and he’d feel more comfortable if someone he knew introduced you.” Yan nodded. She trotted off and pulled Shneep from his group.

"Heh?!” The doctor yanked his coat away. “What are you doing?”

"I want to meet Robbie, and Jack wanted me to bring you along cause he needs a checkup.”

Shneep checked his watch. "I guess it is about time.” He turned to Dark and Google. “I’ll be right back.” Dark nodded and Google pinged in acknowledgment. Yan dragged him off.

“Cmon! Third to the left.”

"I know where his room is, I live with him.” He pushed open the door covered with chalk stick figures and magnets. He put a palm to Yan’s chest before she could enter. "Checkup first.” Yan nodded impatiently. She slid down the doorframe and listened as Shneep entered.

"Hey, good morning my little leiche...” The doctors voice was soft and loving, a sharp contrast to how he carried himself around others. “Are you feeling good? Is anything broken?” A soft mumbling that Yan could barely hear responded.

"Good!” She could hear a smile in Shneep’s voice. “Can we feel your beats? Deep breath.” A pause. “Hmm... a little slow. Shake it out!” A rustle as Robbie shook around. “Good! One more deep breath... much better! Now, the Iplier’s are over and someone wants to meet you. Is that okay? Do you feel good and strong? Good! She’s very excited to see you.” A rustle as he got up from the bed.

"Go ahead, his vitals are good. Just be careful.” Shneep patted Yans shoulder and took her place outside the door. She peered around the door. And gasped. He was stunning.

His skin was a milky lavender, pale and delicate looking, almost translucent. His glazed eyes reminded her of full moons on a cloudy night, and the way he held himself, passively watching but showing no reaction, it conveyed just the kind of mystery she loved in a man. He looked her way, only barely, turning his head a mere 45 degrees. Her breath caught in her throat, she could barely breath, but she instantly regretted stopping. The air in the room was fragrant with the scent of death, corpse, one of her favorite natural perfumes, and she needed to breathe to experience it. She filled her lungs slowly before approaching her soulmate.

"H-hello..." She whispered, afraid to break him from what she assumed was a constant state of meditation. He must be so wise. His head turned further, finally oriented so he was fully facing her. It was difficult to tell where his eyes pointed. They were clouded over, lenses so opaque it was difficult to tell between iris and sclera, but Yan caught the movement. They rolled back slowly, locking with hers.

"Hello." His voice was soft, and he spoke deliberately, like forming the word was difficult. But Yan knew better. Yan could tell it was because he was a man of few words. He could convey what he needed without them. They got in the way of his incredible intellect.

"I was excited to meet you. This is my first time coming here, and I dont get along with many of these people..."

Robbie blinked, one eye after the other. A moment passed as he processed the sentence. "Understand that people... scary. Sometimes. Move fast, yell."

"Is that why you stay in your room?"

Robbie nodded, slowly and steadily. "Zombie is... fragile. Hen and Jack... don't want broken Robbie. Want to play... but scary. Too fast."

Yan's heart was melting more by the second.

"The world isn't fit for someone who knows better. You're a philosopher, I can tell. You like to think about big questions, you don't fit in with all the hustle and bustle of those ruffians. I could learn from you."

"Robbie... philosopher? You... want to... learn?"

Yan gasped at the offer. "Would you really teach me?"

Robbie didn't speak for a minute. Then two minutes. Yan didn't dare speak, for fear of interrupting his process. Her patience was rewarded. Her new senpai offered her the most beautiful gift she'd ever laid eyes on.

He smiled at her. The corners of his mouth gradually pulled up into a wide, bright smile. He had adorable apple cheeks that wrinkled the greyed bags of his eyes. "Yes... Robbie teach."

Yan squealed and grabbed Robbies hand between hers. She squeezed and shimmied her shoulders in excitement.

In a split second, to her horror, she heard a loud snap. It was followed by a fleshy plop as she let go.

She looked down at her hands and her breath left her. A lavender finger, wriggling, a knuckle bone protruding from the end. The movement came to a halt and the phalange lay limp. She looked up to her senpai, her face twisted with mortification and guilt.

"I'm so sorry! I got excited, I can sew, I can even embroider, I can put it back on and make it look even better than before-"

She stopped when a four-fingered hand softly brushed hers. He closed her fingers around the severed digit. She looked up.

He looked startled, but not particularly bothered.

"Do not... scream. Please. But... friend I teach. Keep. Present. Robbie present."

Yan's eyes widened in astonishment. She clutched the finger to her chest.

"You mean it?" Robie nodded. Yan looked down into her gingerly cupped hands. "Robbie present..." She breathed his words like they were sacred.

"YAN! Where are you you trainwreck? I'm bored!"

Yan looked up. Anti must have given up trying to seduce her boss. But she didn't want to leave, not when she was having such a beautiful moment.

"Go. Play." Robbie smiled. "Anti play scary. You like."

"No, I don't like to play scary, I want to stay with you and be less scary!"

"No. You play scary. Fun. You have fun. I stay, teach later. Scary not bad play."

"But I thought that was the point of teaching me, to teach me to be more calm and wise like you!"

"No. Calm, philosopher, not without play. You not fragile, zombie fragile. Go play scary."

Yan smiled. "You're so smart... I like being with you. I hope you want to see me again...?" She held her breath. She hoped it went as well as she thought it did. She had a tendency to drive love away some way or another.

"Yes, again. Go. But... name?"

"Oh, I never told you! How rude! I'm Yan."

"Yan. Nice name. Goodbye."

Yan stood, staring a moment before turning to leave. She shut the door gently behind her.

"THERE you are! C'mon, I planted some fake coke in Eric's back pocket, I want to see his reaction when he finds it!" Anti reached to grab Yans hand, but Yan jerked away. That hand held her gift. Anti squinted and looked over. "Oh fuck, is that Rob's finger?"

"It was a gift!"

Anti snorted. "You're a sick bitch, you know that?" And without another word, he dragged her out into the main area. Yan tucked the finger in her bra for safekeeping. As she watched Eric lose his shit over some cocaine, she couldn't help but hear two words repeating in her head, over and over.

"Yes, again."

[coffeedrivenfiction]

Ba Sing Se Can Wait

"You know what the scary part of trying is?"

"Duh. Failing."

"I used to think that, I really did, but as we keep going… I've come to realize that the scary part about trying is actually succeeding."

"Succee—what? You're gonna have to explain that one to me. I was with you, for a good while, up until this point… I mean, I sorta get it—no, I get it… I do, I get it, I just wanna see where you're coming from with it. Just so we're on the same page. You and me. I. You and I…."

When Sokka glanced over at that the boy sitting next to him, the boy with the resplendently bald head adorned with a blue arrow tattoo, he could tell by the Avatar's quaint expression that his smooth talking had just bought him some time to figure out just what in the hell Aang was talking about.

The true fear of trying was... success?

How?

In what world?

The last he had heard, the last life had taught him, how he had been raised all throughout his short yet noble life, success was the manifestation of boundless trying, numerous attempts. The concept of being fearful of trying because it might—and should—lead to success was baffling.

More baffling than Katara still attempting to waterbend even at this late hour.

The sky was a twinkling landscape marked with stares and other wonders that seemed close enough to reach out for yet far enough to wish upon. Below that cosmic carpet, Toph had been the first to fall asleep, having crafted the most majestic castle along the shoreline, a castle with four bedrooms, one of which Appa occupied quite naturally, a built in jacuzzi, and this weird little effigy of Sokka that sat in the main hall that looked absolutely nothing like Sokka. The poor earthbender was knocked out, having been lulled into an early sleep by the sound of Katara relentlessly practicing a new waterbending maneuver.

Admittedly, the sight of Katara, free of her hair tie and bathed in the pale light of the moon on high, was an impressive one. Every one of her attempts at trying to combine twin ropes of water into one that would then split into four other tendrils was amazing, especially when she failed or lost focus and the water exploded into glistening sparkles so much like diamonds.

A few feet back, Sokka and Aang sat, previously in silence before the sound of Katara's enervated grunts and growls propelled them into subdued speech. Conversation that was by no means important or worth repeating, just something to break up the tension while occasionally yelling out an encouraging word or two.

An hour ago, Sokka had suggested calling it a night—"We're gonna need our strength for tomorrow, it's the biiiiig move, and we don't wanna take forever getting to Ba Sing Se and"—but after Katara whipped a lance of water at him, both he and Aang summarily decided that Ba Sing Se could probably wait another day or two.

It was part of the Earth Kingdom, after all; it wasn't going anywhere.

"Being taught by Master Pakku really lit a fire under her," Aang continued softly, observing the delicate yet fierce way Katara's arms flowed through every stance she stepped into. It was almost like witnessing a performance, one in its infantile stages to be sure, but the promise of something great was there, shining underneath all the sweat and failure.

Shifting somewhat on the boulder Aang had brought forth for them to use as a chair of sorts, Sokka scratched at his nose. To say Aang's words were an understatement would also, in itself, be an understatement; his sister might as well have turned into a firebender for all the flames he could see flickering just beyond those normally docile pupils of hers. There was unmistakable drive there, a hereto unforeseen degree of determination that was on full display tonight as they watched Katara step and shift and pivot, upsetting the ocean before them into a frothing, bubbling mass.

To tell her to stop now would be tantamount to ending his own life, he felt that much was certain.

Of course, Sokka knew he was stronger than his younger sister—everyone knew it, as a matter of fact—but even he knew better than to disturb her when she was focused.

"She wants to be better than the best waterbender," Sokka responded in a drone, legs drawn up and elbows to his knees. He swished a pine needle between his lips. "What's that got to do with what we were talking about, though?"

"How many times do you think she's gonna fail on the road to being a waterbending master?" For the first time in a long while, Aang adverted his gaze away from Katara's intricate dance and observed the sky. Despite the sparkling darkness above, it was a truly humid night, perfect for stargazing. "Becoming a master isn't something that comes in the span of days... or months... or even years. The title comes with decades of practice, combining wisdom and technique and power..." Something tight settled into his eyes, furrowing his brow. "How many failures is that?"

"How many...? Uhh..." Sokka glanced at his hands, flaring his fingers several times before his head started to hurt and he gave up with an exasperated shrug. "I... Aang, I don't know, probably a lot... a bunch of a lots, why?"

"Because..." Aang gripped himself by the shoulder, squeezing under his knuckles cracked. "Failing is... it's pretty easy."

"You're kidding." Sokka looked affronted and leaned in closer. "How is failing easier?"

"It really is, especially when it's something like this," and Aang indicated toward Katara, who was picking herself up off the sandy shore and brushing grit from her clothes for what seemed like the tenth time, "because nothing is for certain. When it comes to exploring new territory... learning something new... you don't know what you're doing, do you? There's no ingrained roadmap, it's not like you jump outta bed one day and you suddenly know every technique and every hand movement. It takes time."

On the verge of arguing, Sokka lowered the finger he had lifted and instead placed it on his temple. That... made sense. A little. After all, he was a bonafide master with his throwing hatchet—able to knock whatever food Momo had stolen from him right out of those greedy little paws—but as awe-inspiring as his talent was, Aang had a point. It took a lot of effort, many tosses, many fails, many lumps on the backs of the heads of the people from his village...

"Okay, I get that," Sokka started slowly, lifting that finger once more and prodding Aang in the cheek. "So... that's where success comes in! And there's no way that's a bad thing! It means you reached the goal you were striving f—GUH!"

A ball of concentrated water burst over Sokka's face and he flailed about, nearly toppling off the rock.

"Wh-what in the—"

Katara stood stock-still before them, leaning forward as though caught in a breeze and glaring out into the ocean just with one her arms aimed behind her, palm face-up and fingers joined together like that of a spear.

Scrunched up like he had been struck, too, Aang was wide-eyed, staring at the back of Katara's head.

"I need to concentrate," was all she ground out, through gritted teeth even, and neither Aang nor Sokka dared breathe until she had picked up her routine again, elegantly flicking her wrists and summoning great ribbons of water to her call.

"Your sister's pretty crazy, though," Aang whispered, lowly, behind his hand, and Sokka frantically nodded.

"You're telling me this like I wasn't raised with her," Sokka retorted under his breath, wringing out his sodden shirt. "Let's just keep it down, I don't wanna get lassoed into the sea..."

"Agreed."

The two waited for a few more tense moments, once more getting lost in the elegance that resonated from Katara's every move, before picking up their earlier conversation.

"When you fail, nothing really happens," Aang sighed, "except you get to learn. You get to learn from what caused you to fail... if you're lucky. You can take a misstep, a wrong chop, a mixed hand movement—you can take all of those things and smooth it out. Every fail is jagged until it's smoothed out with success."

"Exactly my point." Sokka spoke so lightly that his lips didn't move. "Success is easier because once you're there... you're there."

"Except... that's when everything changes, like when the fire nation attacked," Aang continued, almost as if Sokka hadn't spoken. "When you fail, okay, cool, you know what's going to come next. You're going to try again—"

Sokka nodded stoutly, wondering how much longer he would be able to take sitting on their borrowed boulder until his butt went completely numb.

"—but when you succeed, when you become that master? A whole list of new responsibilities open up like that"—Aang pantomimed snapping his fingers—"and nothing's the same."

Exhaling all the tension that came from anticipating Aang snapping his fingers out loud and suffering another strike from Katara, Sokka slouched forward, letting his arms dangle. "That's... but that's kinda how things go, isn't it?"

"I dunno. I think I'm figuring that out as we go," Aang admitted with a nervous grin. "I just know when you succeed, things can't be like how they were when you failed, can they? Like, look at Katara... she's failing pretty hard right now—"

"—please don't hear, please don't hear, please don't hear—"

"—but we know she's gonna make it. Course she is, she's Katara." It was barely noticeable, the soft smile that lifted the corners of Aangs mouth, but Sokka didn't miss it. "When she does, she's... there's gonna be expectations. With that knowledge and power, people are gonna wanna learn from you, they're gonna want you to teach, and lead, and—and help prosper. They're gonna come calling, near and far, everyday, looking for your services. That's... that's a lot to deal with, ain't it? More than just failing."

Beyond that smile, Sokka could see the trepidation settling into Aang's stare.

"It's just... when you fail, nobody expects nothing, you can keep on going like you were, semi-sorta free? The moment you succeed, though... you can't go back. You can't unlearn what you've mastered, you've got to... your road changes and you gotta walk it."

The night air was powerfully refreshing, and more than a little chilling while Sokka sat there in damp clothes. He stared out at his sister, silently observing... tracing her every step to memory. "I can see that," he said, pulling the pine needle from between his lips. "Yeah, I can see why that would be kinda..."

"Scary," Aang supplied hoarsely, bringing his own legs up and wrapping his arms around them. "I don't fear failure, Sokka. I fear success. I fear making it exactly where I need to be... and not being enough to stay there."

Of all the fears Sokka struggled with, known and unknown, a fear of success had never been one of them.

Until this very moment.

The grating splashes that signaled another failure on Katara's part were growing noticeably infrequent. If Sokka was developing a chill then Katara, weighed down by her waterlogged garments, had to be downright frozen, but she didn't drop her arms, she didn't relax her fingers or allow her aching legs to fold. Every breath she drew in was ragged and every exhale came out as a puff of visible air; she blinked like she had a tick, paying no mind to the streaks of sweat curving down her face, dripping off her chin; she paid no mind to the roaring fatigue settling into each of her limbs, invading her thought process, begging her to give in, to try again tomorrow—

"We're not a species meant to bask in failure," Sokka said, sporting a grin when Katara lifted her trembling arms up high, "that's not our style, it's not in our nature, Aang."

Growing wide-eyed, Aang watched as Katara flexed her fingers, once more drawing a great swell of water to her command before sharply shifting her body, bending it with her.

"Failure is... well, you're right. It is easy," Sokka admitted, feeling anticipation twist at his insides, knotting tighter and tighter as the rivulets of water under his sister's control shivered and twirled. "Which is why we can't settle there. We have to strive for success and all the terrifying new roads that it opens up for us... 'cause those roads will open up new roads for others who will go on to open even more roads. And yeah, success might lead to new opportunities to mess up, that's the cycle, ain't it? At least one thing's for certain..."

He suddenly threw an arm over Aang's shoulder the moment before Katara slammed a foot down, flexed her fingers, and made an intense tearing motion, one that caused the giant water whip overhead to lash apart into a flurry of thrashing tendrils.

"You won't be alone, Aang. We're gonna fail together and succeed together. A lot."

Almost immediately after its birth, the wild creation lost its form and fell apart into a torrent of water that splashed back to the sea. "YEEEESSSS!" A prideful cry left Katara in the same instant feeling left her knees and she hit the ground. But she didn't fall over. She refused.

"I DID IT! I REALLY, REALLY DID IT!" Face smeared with sweat and grime, Katara whirled around on her knees to the boys behind her and somehow, despite having no energy left, managed to punch the air with a tightly coiled fist. "Did you guys see that? I DID IT!"

"She did it!" Sokka cried, latching onto Aang. "Oh thank God, she did it! Now we can finally go to sleep!"

"Congratulations, Katara!" Aang yelled, thoroughly impressed while trying to shove a weeping Sokka off, and he would have showered the beaming waterbender with more well-earned praise if the boulder the two of them sat on hadn't suddenly been violently snatched out from underneath them.

As Sokka and Aang collided with the unyielding sand, Toph poked her head out the front of her sand castle, groggily rubbing sleep from her eye. "HEY! It's way-too-late-for-this-mess o'clock! Shuddup and go to bed!"

"Th-that chick has some serious anger issues," Sokka groaned, trying to untangle his limbs from Aang.

Katara just giggled tiredly, "I'll agree with you there...," then she fell out.

The End

[coeurdastronaute]

Essays in Existentialism: Nerd 9

Previously on Nerd

In a way, Luna’s house was the most comfortable place outside of her own home that Lexa ever knew. One street over and two houses down, Lexa spent her first sleepover there. She spent every birthday and most of summer vacations there for a long time, her brother trailing along to play with Luna’s little brother. She knew where everything was, and the door was always open, so that she didn’t even bother knocking anymore.

When Aden got sick, Lexa spent more time at Luna’s than she did her own home. That stopped immediately when he was gone. She barely left her room, let alone her house, let alone her street.

But there was something comforting about it, as she knocked and twisted the door knob in the early evening. A late January slushy mix filled the sky and froze everything it came in contact with, and the warmth of the home greeted her, swallowing her up and welcoming her back yet again.

“Hey, kiddo, how’s it going?” Luna’s mother greeted her from the kitchen as she kicked off her shoes and made her way toward her best friend’s bedroom.

“Swamped, but doing okay. How are you?”

She paused at the island in the kitchen and accepted a cookie that cooled on a sheet while the mother worked on whatever was going to be dinner.

“I’ll be better when I finish this project and this dinner. Don’t ever grow up. Real life will absolutely drain your energy,” she said as she took a sip of wine. “Here to work on SAT prep?”

“Um, yeah,” Lexa nodded. “Test is in April.”

“Are you staying for dinner?”

“I’ll be heading home, actually. My dad is trying his hand at some Korean dish he had and wants to recreate.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to have something just in case?” she grinned.

“Thanks, but I’ll chance it,” Lexa shrugged, adjusting her bag and making her way down the hall.

The house was entirely prim and proper, neatly organized like a spread in a lifestyle magazine. Rows of pictures covered the hall, sandwiched between white trim. There was always a certain warmth to the house, but it never felt like home to Lexa. She liked her own house more than anything, but she owed her friend the luxury of home field advantage.

At the end of the hall, a white door was covered in angry stickers and bands, warning any wary passersby to keep going. Music thumped behind the sturdy barricade.

“I’m doing homework,” Luna yelled as soon as Lexa knocked, though it didn’t deter her as she pushed the door open to find her best friend scrolling through footage on her large monitor.

“That looks like the stuff we shot in November.”

“Someone’s got to put it all together.”

Lexa walked into the room anyway, despite the less than warm reception. She tossed her backpack on the floor and took a seat on the edge of the bed, even though her best friend didn’t look over at her or acknowledge her presence.

“You didn’t email me about the changes I made to the script,” Lexa began, playing with a hole on the jeans over her knee. “I thought we wanted to finalize by March.”

“I didn’t think there was a rush. You take forever to respond.”

“Are you still mad? I missed a couple of deadlines.”

“Every deadline,” Luna reminded her.

Hands moved quickly, knowledgeable at the computer. Lexa just watched as her friend avoided looking at her. It was hard to disappoint the person who gave her such drive. Her partner, in the truest sense of the word.

“I’ve had a lot going on.”

“So have I, but I keep up with this. This is what I want to do.”

“Yeah, sure looks like you’re passionate about it,” Lexa rolled her eyes, earning a glare.

Piercing brown, almost black eyes bore into her own, slightly squinted from the slight. The muscles of the jaw flexed and nostrils flared. The leg that was propped up in the chair got pulled even tighter, her body defending itself from a perceived threat.

“I’ve been working on this for hours, and you want to come in and tell me I’m doing a lackluster job?” Luna scoffed, leaning back in her chair.

“I didn’t come over to fight. I came over to apologize and figure out the adjustments I wanted to make.”

“You’re bad at it.”

“I know you’ve been mad at me.”

“No shit.”

“And I take the blame, but you’re not innocent in this,” Lexa decided, her words shaking slightly with the confrontation.

“Okay, Lexa. Thanks.”

“I mean it. I am devoted to this. You know I love this, but you throw it in my face how I’m dragging you down apparently,” she concluded, her hands moving slightly, her shoulders shrugging.

Lexa couldn’t look at the girl at the desk anymore, so she fixated on the corner of the desk as she zoned out and said hard words.

“You’d have to show up to drag me down,” Luna laughed sardonically.

“My life is kind of upside down at the moment.”

“Yeah yeah, Aiden, I know. I give you slack for that.”

“Slack?” Lexa furrowed. “For my brother dying? For my family falling apart? Wow. That is awfully generous of you.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Even then, you should understand that my family has different requirements of me than yours does of you.”

“I get to just do what I want, with no supervision, no drive?” Luna looked at the girl on her bed and shook her head in disbelief.

“I have to play a sport every season. I have to be in these clubs, and I just came out to my parents, which-- I don’t have to explain it to you.”

“You used to though.”

Deadlocked, they looked at each other, the music quieter but still louder than the rest of the house, blocking out much of their own thoughts. Lexa didn’t want to fight, but she also knew her friend was incapable of strictly being passive aggressive. She knew she was walking into a den of pure aggression, and to a degree, that kept her away, coward that she thought herself to be because of it.

“You don’t seem interested to hear about Clarke,” Lexa shrugged, wringing her fingers again.

“Yeah, is it obvious?”

“Why do you hate her?”

“I don’t… I don’t hate her,” Luna shook her head, leaning back in her chair and finally turning it slightly so that she was facing her bed. “It was always supposed to be us though. You and me, applying to school, making movies.”

“You’re jealous?”

“No. I’m not jealous. I’m annoyed that my plans are being ruined.”

“That’s why I’m here to apologize and ask for a slight break from your eagerness.”

“Oh, so now I’m annoying and over eager?”

“That’s not what I said,” Lexa held up her hands in defeat. “But I need my best friend back, and I can’t give you every spare minute for this movie. I’m giving you all of them that I have, but I do have to sleep from time to time.”

“Sleep is for the weak,” Luna offered before cracking a smile.

She tilted her head slightly, letting it rest on her shoulder as she eyed Lexa, her face softening slightly, though not enough to put Lexa completely at ease. Luna was never one to soften. She was intense, and it was constant.

“I need you to like Clarke,” Lexa continued. “I-- I-- I think we’re… I think that there’s a chance we’re going to be-- We are talking abo-- I like her a lot, and I think she likes me.”

Completely pink in the cheeks, Lexa sighed with the admission as she looked down at her hands knotting themselves together, her fingers wrangling and wrapping themselves around each other to escape or personify her own feelings at that exact moment. Despite it all, despite the severity and venomous tongue her friend owned, Lexa knew Luna would listen, at least partially.

“I don’t mean to sound like this jealous asshole,” Luna sighed. “I just miss you.”

“I knew it.”

“Shut up.”

“I did though,” Lexa smiled, leaning back on her elbows on the bed, her legs stretching out in front of her over the side of it. “Stop getting annoyed at me for missing deadlines.”

“I won’t.”

“Try.”

“Whatever,” Luna shrugged. “I’ll try.”

“Good. Now do you want to get to work and stop being such a jealous baby?”

“You’re the worst,” Luna shook her head and tossed a notebook at her friend.

Lexa dodged the notebook, catching it before it hit her in the chest, gentle and wafted and not meaning to hurt. She earned a smile and though it was tense, the air felt slightly more hospitable and normal.

It was hard to say what normal was anymore, the past year being nothing more than an absolute game changer, in every sense of the word. But for an evening, Lexa could at least say she had her friend back.

“Can we adjust the future projections now?” Lexa grinned. “With time for being human factored in?”

“Since when are you human?”

“Tuesday, September second.”

“That’s awfully specific,” Luna muttered as she looked at the poster they'd’ developed to track applications for college.

“It’s when I met Clarke. And Monday, November fourtheenth. That’s when I came out to my dad. And Thursday, November twenty-fifth is when I came out to my mom.”

“And now you’re human?” she wondered. “I’ve known you liked girls since we were twelve.”

“Family is tough, but mine is coming back. It’s… it’s nice. Feels human.”

Luna looked away from her planning and her dates to look at the contemplative girl on her bed, the one she thought she knew better than anyone else. There was a different look to her, different than the one Luna suspected was because of the stupid cheerleader.

“I’m glad to hear it. Tell me how Sir Tim allowed you to cut down on extracurriculars.”

And just like that, they were back in some small way.

XXXXXXXXX

The music was too loud, but that didn’t matter. Clarke stared at her ceiling and didn’t even listen to the words that blared in her ears, deafening her from the rest of the quiet house. She didn’t move at all, but laid there, still as could be, thinking. Hands linked over her stomach, she felt herself breathing intermittently.

The room wasn’t messy, but it certainly wasn’t clean. Clothes were lumped in a corner and scattered elsewhere on the floor. Her backpack and stack of books flopped, half on the floor, half on her bed from her attempt at homework. Sketches covered a desk with various drawing equipment, paint dripped onto the old rugs she used to keep her mother at bay from complaining. It was exceptionally normal.

Clarke tilted her head and looked toward the window, and at the orange trees and street outside, flooded with rain and snow in the miserable winter night. Pictures from various moments in her timeline littered the wall next to her bed. Long forgotten smiles and friends beamed, dressed up in little cheerleader costumes, dressed in camp outfits, dressed in stupid costumes for various school events. Her wallpaper was memories that seemed incredibly insignificant at the moment.

She looked back toward her ceiling for a moment before looking toward her door, a monstrous thing with clothes and coats and bags hung on it, giving it a hump. There was so much stuff, so many things, everywhere. Her room was full and busy and she looked back at her ceiling and felt very far removed from everything.

A year and a half and she could leave it all behind, she thought to herself as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

Hey, want to come to my game on Friday? A text beeped, interrupting her song.

With a big stretch, Clarke wiggled up on her bed and grabbed her phone from where it was hidden beneath a stack of notebooks and binders. She smiled at seeing Lexa’s text despite herself, despite her mood.

I know it’s super boring, but I thought, maybe, we could, like after, maybe grab food and hang out?

The soccer player, the class secretary, the debate team captain, the SAT tutor, the valedictorian and all around heart throb to just Clarke, was an adorable mess, even in text, and Clarke loved it because rarely did something so good and pure exist in the world. Rarely did someone speak so honestly about what their problems were. Rarely did anyone acknowledge that life was shit, but kept going anyway.

I’m working this Friday. After can we head to Tall John’s party? His parents are out of town and it’s McKenzie’s birthday.

Clarke badly needed a drink and a night to just… to forget. She couldn’t think of anything better than hanging out with Lexa.

Um, yeah. Sure. That sounds fun. I’m um, not too good at parties.

I’ll teach you. We don’t have to stay long.

Sounds good. Not too late? Sorry to sound like a nerd, but my parents want to do a bike ride on Saturday morning. Their next attempt at family bonding.

Promise.

You want to come?

Do I want to get up early on Saturday and go on an outrageously long bike ride with three of the fittest people I’ve ever seen in one gene pool?

Yeah.

Clarke chuckled to herself and shook her head.

Maybe I can come over after work Saturday and we can do homework and movies?

This weekend just got to be spectacular. That sounds amazing.

How was your night?

Despite the messages, Clarke sat up in her bed and looked around at her room. She redid the messy bun in her hair, tightening it as she prepared for battle. The music continued to thump in her brain, the words disappearing, not relevant anyway.

Good. Luna and I edited and worked on the script for our feature for film school applications. She agreed to back off, as much as she can.

I told you, just talking to her will help. She’s very focused.

That’s a nice way to put it. But she keeps me going.

Clarke smiled at her phone before tossing it onto her desk and wondering where to start. She settled on trash, tugging everything off of her wall and throwing it into a pile in the middle of her room. And only when the walls were bare did she begin to gather everything and shove it in trash bags.

It went that way until her room was almost empty and orderly. It looked like she moved out. Any clothes that didn’t fit in the closet or dresser were filtered through and put in a bag for donation. Anything that tied her there, to that town, to her family, it was tossed. Clarke found herself scrubbing away a layer of film that grew on her skin, scrubbing away everything over the past year or so. She wanted to be clean. She wanted to be new.

Lexa, I don’t know what to say to my mom.

With nothing left to clean, with the room empty and almost cell-like, Clarke sat on her bed and cradled her phone, a few hours removed from her last conversation with another living being. It was nearly three in the morning, and she knew Lexa would be asleep, but she had to admit it to someone.

Once more, she flopped back on the bed and looked at the ceiling, her hands crossed over her ribs as she felt each breath.

“Hello?” she whispered as her phone began to vibrate more than a text.

“Hey,” Lexa yawned before clearing her throat. Her voice was scratchy and full of sleep, but that didn’t stop her.

“I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“I’m a light sleeper.”

“Then I’m extra sorry.”

“I’m not.”

They were quiet. Clarke tried to listen to any noise on the other end, but all she got was the slight adjustment of sheets and another stifled yawn.

“It has to get easier,” Lexa whispered.

“Did it for you?”

“Kind of, yeah,” she decided. “It’s getting better every day. Sometimes I lapse and get sad and feel lost, but for the most part, It feels better than yesterday.”

“Mine’s kind of fresh.”

“Yeah.”

“Do I tell my dad?” Clarke wondered.

“That’s up to you, but I don’t think you can decide at three in the morning.”

“I guess not.”

“Good. Then don’t worry for a few more hours, and try to sleep.”

“Easier said than done.”

“Maybe. Want me to hang out until you do though?” Lexa asked, half asleep herself.

“Yeah, I’d like that,” Clarke smiled to herself and blushed at the admission.

“I can do that.”

“Thank you.”

“No worries. I was up anyway.”

Clarke smiled at the obvious lie and closed her eyes despite the light on, despite her clothes, despite it all, and she just enjoyed the quiet and the night and the girl on the other line.

XXXXXXXXX

There weren’t any nerves to it, but still Lexa was anxious as she waited by the locker of the girl that kept her up until four in the morning. There weren’t many nerves because she was still too groggy to have real nerves, but she had them beneath it all.

She adjusted her backpack and leaned against the lockers in the busy hallway before the first bell rang. She looked at her shoes and nudged her toes against the polished floor.

When she looked up, she held her breath, her lips too agape to fully smile though they very much wanted to do just that. As if she’d slept for a full ten hours, Clarke Griffin made her way through the hall, hair billowing and angelic, completely stuck in slow-motion. Lexa gulped and adjusted the strap of her heavy bag again before fiddling with the clasp.

“Good morning, tiger,” Clarke smiled. “Waiting for little old me?”

“I brought you breakfast,” Lexa offered, pulling the banana and protein bar from her sweatshirt.

“You are very sweet. Have I told you that lately?”

It burned the whole way up to the tips of her ears, but Lexa looked away from Clarke’s smile and back at the toes of her shoes.

“Yeah last night.”

“Good,” Clarke decided. “I wanted to thank you for… just staying up with me.”

“Anytime.”

She closed her locker after grabbing the right books and nodded to herself before pausing and leaning near Lexa. Clarke played with the strap of Lexa’s bookbag now, her fingers moving anxiously as they hovered closer.

“I’m becoming quite a pain in your life, huh?”

“Nope.”

“First your friend starts to hate you, now I take all your time up. I’m a menace.”

“I told you that I’d help. Do whatever. I don’t know. Sometimes we just need someone else to bring them a banana.”

“Yeah, I think we do,” Clarke smiled.

Pressing forward, Clarke gripped the backpack strap firmly and slowly leaned toward Lexa’s lips before gently kissing her. She held it for a moment until she smiled enough to ruin it.

Lexa cleared her throat and blushed a little more.

“Want to come over after school? I’m going to paint my room.”

“Yeah. Definitely.”

Clarke smiled and intertwined their fingers.

XXXXXXXXXX

“So, this is your… room?” Lexa furrowed as she looked around the near empty shell of a bedroom.

The bed was covered in a drop cloth, while the walls were completely empty and not a thing was where it should have been, the desk and the dresser and a chair and a shelf pushed towards the center in preparation of the work to happen.

Clarke nodded and stirred the pain in the can.

“I can’t imagine why you’d want to change the color of the room.”

“I picked it when I was eight.”

“What a difference eight years will make,” Clarke smiled and poured into the tin. “I was a huge fan of purple.”

“I couldn’t tell,” Lexa grimaced slightly at the childish color.

“Which is why I’ve decided that my new life will be a much more mature color. The new year is a year of power moves only.”

“What’s that?”

Clarke stood and grabbed a roller and wet it. Hand on her hip, she held it up valiantly, prepared for everything and at least pretending to know what she was doing.

“It means, I’m only moving forward and doing what I want. Clean slate. No more childish stuff.” She paused for a moment, thoughtful and strong. “I’m going to change the fucking world.”

It was with a line like that, that Lexa decided she’d follow Clarke to the ends of the Earth.

“Power moves only,” Lexa agreed and picked up a roller.

For an hour they worked and got the first coat of paint on the walls, edged neatly and expertly by the debate team captain. Music played softly from Clarke’s phone on the window ledge, and the fan rocked and hummed quietly, attempting to usher in another coat before bed.

It got dark quickly in the winter, but that didn’t stop them. Lexa had a backpack full of homework and found herself slightly tired from being up all night, but that didn’t stop her. She had music and Clarke all to herself and it felt good and easy. She wasn’t going to stop.

“Are the glow-in-the-dark stars part of this new you?” Lexa asked as she laid on the floor next to a paint-splattered Clarke. Her own hands were caked in streaks and her shift had an accidental streak across it.

“I can’t change completely. They have to stay.”

Shoulder to shoulder, they looked at the poorly constructed constellation above them as the smell of paint wafted through the room.

“This has something to do with what we saw the other day, doesn’t it?” Lexa whispered.

“No.”

“It’s okay if it does.”

“It doesn’t.”

“I’d be… I don’t even know. I’d be devastated,” Lexa continued, turning her head to see Clarke’s profile.

The girl beside her worked hard to remain stoic, but cracked slightly, letting out a big breath and closing her eyes. Lexa froze as Clarke’s chest inflated again. A streak of grey paint ran down her jaw and neck.

“I don’t know what to do,” Clarke confessed. “I feel so…. So angry.”

“And hurt?”

“Maybe,” she sighed, her breath shaky. “Maybe deep beneath the anger.”

Lexa watched it all happen. She couldn’t look away. And then a tear made its way down the side of her face and into her hair, though Clarke tried to wipe it away quickly. Another came a second later, and Clarke sniffled and took a deep breath to steady herself.

There hadn’t been many times Lexa knew what to do when someone else was crying. There really hadn’t been any that she could think of. Nothing ever seemed right. But that didn’t stop her from rolling over and propping herself up on an elbow. Gentle as she could, Lexa wiped away one side, and then the other.

“You are far tougher than you realize,” Lexa promised. “You’ll know what to do eventually.”

Clarke finally met Lexa’s eyes. They were even more blue when hidden behind the glass of stifled tears. Pure blue. Blue blue.

“I’m sick of being angry,” Clarke whispered.

Lexa let her hand migrate to the corner of Clarke’s jaw where she rubbed softly, hoping it would help in some way.

“Me too,” she agreed. “Let’s stop being angry right now.”

“I don’t think it works like that.”

“Why not?” Lexa smiled, earning one from Clarke as well, no matter how small it was.

Somehow, Lexa became aware of her body and how it was pressed against the entirety of Clarke’s. Her leg as slid over Clarke’s hip, her stomach touched her elbow, her arm covered her chest. Clarke must have known too, because she smiled and looked at Lexa’s lips.

Tentatively, asking permission, Lexa leaned forward and stopped, stuttering her way forward until she held her breath and felt Clarke kiss her Somehow a hand slid to the back of her neck and she  ran out of air, but still kept kissing the girl on the floor with the paint all over.

There was a tiny hum, though Lexa wasn’t sure who made it. She thought it was herself for a moment, but then infinitely liked the idea that it was Clarke even more. Of their own accord, her hips pressed forward while her hand slid to Clarke’s neck, and then to her chest quickly before settling on her ribs.

She made out with Clarke and forgot everything else, and as self control waned, her hand slid higher until she spread her palm and felt Clarke’s chest. Hesitantly, she paused there until Clarke’s back arched and filled up her hand on its own. Lexa did not mind, nor did she ever want to put anything else in her hand. It only spurred her to kiss Clarke deeper, her body doing things before her brain could overthink it.

Clarke pulled Lexa slightly until she was half atop her, thigh slipping between her own. She dug her hands into Lexa’s shoulders. For too long they made out on the floor with their bodies doing things they weren’t quite sure of, but desperately needed. Clarke groaned only when Lexa pulled away, lips swollen and eyes clearly wide.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t… I shouldn’t have.”

“Shut up,” Clarke shook her head.

Lexa looked down at her hand still on Clarke’s chest, still rooted firmly there. She should have moved it, but couldn’t.

“Anything to distract you, I guess.”

“Consider me distracted,” she promised.

Clarke let her head drop back onto the floor before moving her hips, adjusting slightly and tugging Lexa to lay atop her. She kissed her cheek, kissed her forehead and settled there on her floor, cheeks slightly pink and lip slightly bitten from Lexa’s teeth.

Neither said anything. Neither had to.

[monstaxsthetics]

Ch. 1

Genre: Angst / Romance / Action

Warnings: Harsh Language / Violence

Characters: Wonho / Lee Hoseok x OC x Monsta X

Word Count: 4.1K

Synopsis: Nara and Hoseok split ways six years ago. She was not a top trauma nurse who couldn’t be happier with her life and Hoseok was head of her father’s security detail. When her father is kidnapped and her life is put in danger, Hoseok and Nara are reunited. What will come of the reunion and will they find her father before it’s too late?

“These violent delights have violent ends. And in their triumph die, like fire and powder. Which, as they kiss, consume”

Ch.2 Ch.3

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Nara had just sat down for what felt like the first time in her 18 hour shift, taking a sip of her much needed coffee and a bite from her apple, she felt the familiar buzz of her pager before she heard a code being called over the hospital P.A. system.

“Code blue, trauma room 1. Code blue, trauma room 1.”

Groaning, she chugged what was left of her coffee.

“So much for an apple a day”, she thought, stealing one last bite.

She ran as fast as she could from the break room, through the corridor, down three flights of stairs, sliding over a gurney, and around a corner just as a nurse and intern group were beginning their hospital tour. 

“And that was nurse, Hwang Nara, the resident LUNATIC.” the nurse giving the tour shouted.

“I think you mean badass!” Nara said, tossing a couple of finger guns and a wink toward the group before continuing on her way.

And she was. A badass that is. She had only been a trauma nurse at Ansan Hospital for a short time now and was already making a name for herself. Sure among them were the occasional ‘lunatic’, ‘unhinged’, ‘reckless’, etc. But more than anything she was gifted, and a great asset to the hospital - when she wasn’t being a liability or a thorn in anyone’s side - and any doctor or nurse in that hospital would tell you the same.

When she arrived at trauma room #1, nurses were scrambled around an unconscious man who was struggling to breathe. No amount of oxygen or air being manually pumped from the ambulatory bag were providing any aid to the suffering man.  

Nara looked around and realized she had made it there before any of the on-call doctors. Pushing her way to the front she pulled her stethoscope from her pocket, pressing the icy cold metal to the patient’s bare chest. It only took a moment for her to realize what was wrong.

“Stop the ambu. It won’t work” she informed the others.

“He has a tension pneumothorax. His right lung has collapsed and air is filling his chest cavity. Where is the cardio team?”

All the surgeons were either in surgery or on other urgent cases. Nara knew that the patient wouldn’t last while waiting for them to arrive.

“Give me a large bore needle, please.”

No one made any movements to assist her.

“Anyone? He needs a thoracostomy!”

“It’s against protocol, Nara” another nurse said. “We should wait for a surgeon to get here.”

“We don’t have time for that. If he dies while we’re waiting, do you want to explain to his family and friends that we could have saved him if it wasn’t for fucking protocol?”

Still no one moved to assist her.

“Fine! I’ll do it myself.”

Nara retrieved a large bore needle, a mask, gloves, and iodine from the room’s supply cabinet.

She carefully disinfected the area just above the patient’s third rib on his right side making sure she had located the intercostal space along the midclavicular line. She then slowly inserted the needle into the disinfected area at a 90 degree angle, keeping her hand steady as to not damage any of the underlying blood vessels.

A pregnant pause overtook the room as everyone held their breath. At some point the nursing students and their tour guide had made their way to the E.R. and were now watching the scene in stunned silence.

A moment later, a rush of air could be heard coming from the patient’s chest followed by the sounds of the bedside machines alerting the staff to his stabalizing vital signs.

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief, smiling, and congratulating Nara for saving the man’s life - well not everyone.

“Hwang Nara!” she heard her superior call out. “Why am I not surprised it’s you? My office, now!”

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Pulling her keys from her purse, Nara trudged up the stairs to her apartment, her legs heavy and energy drained from the brutal 18 hour shift. A shift that mind you, should have ended on a high but instead ended with her once again being reprimanded by her department head effectively killing the adrenaline rush and pride she felt after saving that patient. 

Reaching the top of the stairs, she started around the corner when a hand clamped down over her mouth and a large arm pulled her back toward the stairwell. Panic spread through her body and her blood ran cold. She tried to scream but it was muffled and the stranger shushed her. There was something familiar about this person. Something nostalgic in the way they smelled and they way their hands felt. She knew this person, she was sure of it. But who did she know that would try and kidnap her? She tried to scream again, when the grip on her mouth got tighter. 

“Shhhhh shh Nara, it’s me, be quiet.”

She did know him. It was Hoseok. This knowledge however didn’t alleviate her stress, instead it filled her with rage. She channeled her anger into enough force to elbow him in the chest, his hand falling from her mouth in surprise, but the other still remained tight around her waist. 

“Yah! Lee Hoseok, are you crazy? What in the hell do you think you—?”

In a flash, he had her spun around, looking into her eyes. “Wow”, she thought. “How was he still this beautiful?”

“Nara listen to me, you have to be quiet. You can yell at me later, I promise.”

“Later? Why would there be a later Hoseo–?” Nara was became more indignant with each word from Hoseok.

Hoseok shoved her up against the nearest wall.

“Nara! For the love of god will you please shut up?”

She was going to attempt to argue once more when she realized how anxious he appeared, his body was rigid and his eyes kept searching up and down the halls. “What was happening?”, she questioned internally. 

At that moment three men in black hats and masks ran out of her apartment. Her eyes widened and she was about to scream at them and ask what in the hell they were doing when Hoseok placed a finger over her mouth and shook his head, his eyes pleading with her to stay quiet.

“I swear I heard keys hyungnim. She should be home by now. Her shift ended an hour ago”, one of the masked men could be heard saying.

They were heading in the direction of the stairwell where she and Hoseok were hiding and she was beginning to grasp the situation. These men were here for her. “But why?”

As they quickly made there way towards the stairs, Hoseok maneuvered his body in front of hers, his back facing the men and leaned in close. To anyone approaching it would seem as if they were just two lovers taking advantage of one another in the stairwell. 

The men approached them curiously but the charade worked and they quickly left the apartment building, the elder scolding the younger that he must have been mistaken about her work schedule.

When the danger seemed to be gone, at least for the immediate future, Nara regained her senses. She shoved against Hoseok’s chest with all of her strength. 

“Hoseok, you have five seconds to tell me what’s going on and who those men were.”

Hoseok grabbed Nara’s arm, dragging her inside of her apartment. He checked all the rooms and when they were secured he locked the door. Nara stood with her arms crossed over her chest, still waiting for an explanation. He ignored her and made his way into her bedroom, an increasingly agitated Nara following behind him. 

“Are you going to answer me? What are you doing here? Who were those men?”

He continued to ignored her, opening her closet, rummaging around until he found a duffle bag. He removed the bag and set it on her bed. 

“I’ll explain later, but right now we have to get out of here. Fill this bag with the things you need quickly and lets go.”

“Wooow! You really have lost your damn mind, huh? What makes you think I’d go anywhere with you? I haven’t seen you in six years and you just show up out of the blue all ‘Nara we have to go’. Hell no! You don’t get to do tha–”

“Your dad is missing, Nara.”

Nara stumbled a bit and gripped the door frame for stability taken aback by Hoseok’s words. 

“What did you just say? Th-that’s not possible, I just talked to him last night.”

“I know. We checked his phone records. You were the last person he spoke to. He wasn’t at the house this morning when I got there to pick him up and he didn’t show up for any of his meetings today.  Hyunwoo and the others are searching for him right now and I’m guessing those men who were just here had something to do with it too so we need to go, NOW!”

Nara couldn’t handle the onslaught of information, finding her nearby desk chair to sit down as her legs threatened to give out. Hoseok kneeled in front of her. 

“Nara-yah….”

Hearing him call her name endearingly made her want to simultaneously hurl and throw her arms around his neck and sob.

“I know this is a lot, but I promise you we will find him, okay?” - He swiped a stray hair from her face, brushing it behind her ear - “But right now, we need to get you out of here before those men come back.”

She knew he was right, as much as she hated to admit it so after a few calming breaths, she silently placed all of her necessities into the duffle and grabbed a picture of her father and followed Hoseok out of the apartment building. He lead her to a sleek midnight blue two door sports car. “The car suits him”, she thought. He opened her door for her and placed her bag in the back seat. She slid down into the cool, smooth leather seats and hugged her coat closer to her body.

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As they sped through the dark streets, Nara stole glances at Hoseok. He hadn’t changed at all. Sure he was older and bigger, much bigger, but his features were the same, somehow more handsome with maturity. His jaw was clenched and the veins in his defined arms pulsed as he shifted gears and gripped the wheel tighter. His stress and anxiety were clear.

This fact didn’t surprise her. Hoseok had always been close with her dad, even beyond their working relationship and Nara suspected that Hoseok was just as affected by her father’s disappearance as she was.

When they passed the exit for her father’s house, she asked where they were going. Hoseok explained that people were watching her father’s home and that it would be too dangerous to return there. He said he was taking her to their hideout on the outskirts of the city.

“Who are they? I know Hyunwoo of course, but you keep saying them.”

“The rest of your dad’s special protection team. They started after you left. There are seven of us now.” 

Nara shook her head in understanding and stared out the window for the rest of the car ride.

About 45 minutes later, they pulled up in front a seemingly abandoned building, lined by trees on one side and a river on the other, cutting them off completely from the city. The breeze had picked up and Nara shivered as she stepped out of the car, grabbing her bag. She followed Hoseok into the dilapidated concrete structure and toward and elevator, she was surprised to see it actually functioned. He pressed the button for the basement and the two of them descended.

The elevator doors opened up directly into a rather spacious and tasteful loft. Not at all what Nara expected to find in this building or when Hoseok referred to it as a ‘hideout’. They walked in and immediately were greeted by six sets of eyes ranging in expressions from curiosity, to boredom, and others she couldn’t quite place.

Hyunwoo was the first to say anything or make a move. He stood from the kitchen island and enveloped her in a tight hug. He pulled back, looking her over and asked if she was okay to which she just nodded. He was exactly the same. He had the same beautifully tan skin she envied, the same warm brown eyes that creased at the sides when he smiled, and a warmth and feel like an older brother would have. His presence alone instantly comforted Nara and she regretted not keeping in touch or visiting Hyunwoo, regardless of her disdain for his best friend. He ruffled her hair in true big brother style and smiled before rejoining the others around the island.

It looked like they were gathered around a tablet and some blue prints, seemingly looking for Nara’s father, Hwang Ji. Hoseok introduced her to the others and them to her in turn.  He went around the table one by one telling her their names and positions on the team.

First up was Lee Minhyuk a cute blonde who was smiling from ear to ear at her and clinging to the chestnut brown haired man to his right who’s eye smile could rival that of Hyunwoo and who had the deepest set of dimples she’d ever seen.

“Minhyukie here is our infiltration specialist. He’s good at breaking into places and taking things that aren’t his which is how he earned the title.”

“Hey to be clear, I am not a thief. I just so happen to be extremely well versed in acquiring things that don’t technically belong to me. But you know what they say, ‘finders keepers’ and all that.”

“You know that doesn’t actually apply when you break into someone’s home and ‘find’ things right?” a boy with perfectly quaffed hair and looks to match said dejectedly.

“Meh potato, tomato” the cute blonde shrugged.

“That’s no—”

“Just let him have this please” the chestnut haired man Minhyuk was clinging to said before turning his attention back to Nara. “I’m Jooheon, it’s nice to finally meet you. I’m sorry it had to happen this way. I’m in charge of the tactical unit.”

Minhyuk beamed whenever Jooheon spoke and never tore his eyes from him. Nara made a mental note that there was definitely something there. Hoseok had given up on introducing the others and thought it best they introduce themselves.

A boy with a kind almost motherly gaze looked at her with what Nara could only assume was some type of sympathy. 

“I’m Kihyun, I run intelligence for the group.”

“That’s a fancy way of saying he’s in charge of the cooking.” a slightly shorter boy with jet black hair that looked almost blue said. He had a devilish grin and it made Nara uneasy when he flashed it in her direction.

A quick hand landed at the back of his neck.

“This here is our little resident psychopath, Changkyunie, who should learn to watch what he says before the cook decides to poison him, don’t you think?”

 Kihyun pinched Changkyun’s cheek harshly until the latter yelped in pain.

“What are you in charge of?” Nara asked as he nursed a red cheek.

“Trust me, you don’t want to know” he said with that same unnerving smile. And for the time being, Nara wasn’t entirely sure she did want to know.

Next to him was the boy from earlier who teased Minhyuk. Nara would have sworn he got lost on his way to a runway show with his modelesque looks, if it weren’t for the knife he held in his hand twirling from finger to finger as he stared at her, disinterested.

“Aish this is exhausting…. Fine, I’m Hyungwon, I work with Minhyuk here on infiltration. But stealing isn’t my portion. I’m more of the……well distraction.”

Minhyuk hopped off his stool, finally releasing Jooheon’s arm for the first time since they arrived and rushed to Nara’s side.

“Noona, are you hungry, have you eaten?”

Noona? Nara thought to herself. They weren’t introduced more than five minutes ago and now she was noona? It was quick but not necessarily unwelcome. Minhyuk had a contagious personality and he made her feel at ease. He was comfortable and she felt her shoulders release some tension as he locked arms with her and led her to the fridge.

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Kihyun ended up whipping up a delicious meal just from some leftovers in the fridge and when they were all full the others retreated back to their earlier conversations and planning on how to find her father while Hoseok showed her to what would be her room for the time being.

It was awkward to say the least. She and Hoseok had not parted on good terms, and even after six years apart, two hours in his presence had brought the emotions she had locked away bubbling to the surface. 

“You should wash up and make yourself comfortable and when you’re up to it, you can come down and we will brief you on what we know so far.”

“Thanks”, was all Nara could manage to mutter, as she tried to keep her emotions at bay. Both over her father disappearing and over seeing Hoseok again.

She spent more time than was necessary in the shower, welcoming the slight sting and pink hue that the hot water brought to her skin, slowly soothing the tension in her muscles. After about 30 minutes, she decided she should leave the shower and face what was waiting for her downstairs. No matter how much she wished to just stand in the spray of the shower she knew she couldn’t remain in denial forever.

She brushed her hair and teeth, pulled on some leggings and a large tattered sweatshirt with her alma mater’s logo on it and headed down the stairs.

They all took turns explaining to her what each of them had gathered on the situation so far. They believed her dad was taken sometime between 8 - 10 p.m. the previous night. The last person he had spoken to was Nara around 7p.m.. He had sent all of them home for the day and only his minimal security unit remained at the house.

Hwang Ji had believed that his home was well enforced enough that he didn’t need them all on watch 24/7 and he was adamant about them all being able to maintain their own lives and rest comfortably in their own home. When Hoseok got to the house in the morning to pick him up and drive him into the city to the corporation, he didn’t answer his text or calls. Hoseok went inside to check on him but he wasn’t in the house and neither were any of the guards from the minimum security team. He thought that it was possible he wanted to get to the office early before his meetings and had the other guards drive him.

Hoseok drove to the office to confirm this, but was told that Hwang Ji never showed up. The guys spent the rest of the day interrogating his known rivals, and combing the streets for him. They checked the house’s CCTV and found that the surveillance and security systems were shut down around 7:30 p.m. and didn’t come back online until after 10:30 p.m.

Hoseok had a feeling that whoever took Hwang Ji may try and harm Nara too which is how he ended up at her apartment building. Nara hadn’t been home in six years, her and her father preferring to meet halfway between their respective homes to catch up. However, the team kept tabs on her and knew her schedules. Protecting her father also meant protecting his family and those dear to him. Since Hyunwoo needed to lead the tactical searches and interrogation for the group and Nara wasn’t familiar with the rest of the group, it was decided that it would be best if Hoseok was the one to go retrieve her as to lessen her alarm. A plan that hadn’t gone as well as planned when the three masked men showed up.

None of their leads or the usual suspects had turned up any promising information and they found themselves starting over from ground zero. Nara found her head spinning with all the new information and trying to keep her nerves under control. Losing her shit now wasn’t going to help find her father any faster.

Later that evening she found that it was only she, Hoseok and Hyunwoo left awake as they sat around the coffee table at 1 a.m. sharing a drink. Nara hadn’t found the strength to fall asleep yet and Hoseok and Hyunwoo stayed up with her out of worry and support.

“So how did you all come together? Where did they all come from?” Nara asked, sipping from her now warming can of beer.

“Heh, where to begin?” Hyunwoo chuckled. “Uhm Hyukie was a runaway. He comes from a pretty wealthy family but his parents have always been sadly disinterested in him or anything he did. He rebelled for a while, trying to get their attention, but eventually he just ended up leaving home.”

“I watched him shoplift from a convenience store one day and charm the panties off the girl behind the register and the security guard alike and so I followed him.” Hoseok said. “I told him what I had seen and he begged me not to turn him in. Of course that wasn’t what I was there for and I explained a bit of who I was. I brought him to meet your dad and the rest is obvious.”

“I found Kihyun” Shownu said. “He bumped into me trying to outrun the cops. He looked so helpless and I didn’t know what he was on the run for, but for some reason I decided to help him evade the police. Turns out the cops were from cyber crimes and they were after him for hacking into the Seoul National Hospital system to clear the debt for his sick mother.”

They went on like this explaining a bit of the other’s backstories and helping Nara to understand the boys she would be associating with for the foreseeable future and who her father had entrusted his life to.

Minhyuk recruited Jooheon from an underground MMA circuit. He fell for him instantly and was shocked when he found out Jooheon shared the sentiment. They’ve been together ever since.

Kihyun recruited Changkyun who brought along his childhood friend and current roommate Hyungwon. It was the only way he would agree to come. Hyungwon was a runaway too and had spent time as a male model and escort for some time before coming to the company. Changkyun was working for another crime organization as an assassin. They were lovingly dubbed the ‘psycho unit’ although they referred to Hyungwon as more sociopathic than psychopathic.

This thought unnerved Nara a bit and she gulped but they assured her that they were deadly to those who crossed them or to their targets but to everyone else they were all bark and no bite.

They spent the rest of the hour in silence, the three of them dozing off while a muted melodrama played on the tv in the background. Nara was finally feeling the exhaustion threatening to take her when,

“A WHOLE NEW WOOOOOORLD. A DAZZLING PLACE I NEVER KNEEEEEW!”

Nara sat straight up on the couch fumbling with her phone and dropping it on the floor.

“BUT WHEN I’M WAY UP HERE, IT’S CRYSTAL CLEAR” 

She looked at Hyunwoo and Hoseok, neither seemed alarmed by the obviously tone deaf dying animal that had broken into their home.

“What in the ever loving fuck is that?”

“Ahhh you mean the sound like someone strangling a cat?”

“Obviously”, Nara nodded at Hyunwoo.

“That would be the incomparable Im Changkyun”, he said with a fancy flourish of his wrist for emphasis before returning his attention back to his phone.

“Wait, what? You’re telling me that the little psycho you just told me about, the one who could kill you in 50 ways in 2 seconds, Changkyun likes Disney movies?”

“OH MY GOD HE’S A REALLY BAD BOY, HE’S A REALLY BAD BOY!”

Hyunwoo nodded, still unphased by the screeching coming from the shower where Changkyun was supposedly “singing”, if you could call it that. 

“Mhm, big fan of Red Velvet too. Even knows the dances.”

“That song is gonna be stuck in my head for a week.” Hoseok added from his spot beside Nara.

Nara picked up her phone and sat back, laughing as Changkyun broke out into a terrible rendition Rainism.

“I’M GONNA BE A BAD BOY, I’M GONNA BE A BAD BOY, I’M GONNA BE A BAD BAD BOY!”

She hoped he didn’t slip in the shower and break something trying to do the choreography. “These boys were going to be the death of me”, she thought.

Head reeling from all the information and Changkyun’s singing, she bid Shownu and Hoseok goodnight and retired to her room where she fell asleep almost as soon as her head met pillow.

Ch. 2

[jj-lynn21]

HOLLYWOOD MOBSTERS Starring Bill Skarsgard and his family ch 7

ch 1  ch 2 ch 3 ch 4 ch 5 ch 6

thanks for reading @candygirl2123 @super-pink-a-palouza​ @crazyjam-pot

Warnings: violence, cussing, angst, smut, grab your tissues reader, death

Angel’s tryout Delicate by Taylor Swift 

Photos from esquire Singapore September 2019, Calvin Klein, IMDB and Ejalo’s Instagram ​

Cool air comes off the ocean as waves crash on to the beach. The sky looks to be threatening a storm. Alex and Stellan stand looking out the water. Their hair blowing in the wind that has been picking up speed. Their button up shirts rippling. Summer weather is on the verge of giving into fall.

“Valter is wearing a wire for the F.B.I.” Alex informs his Father. “He wrote on paper as we chatted in the office. I directed the F.B.I. to think the Malforals killed Genna. They should not be taking so much for so little from us as soon as they get a little F.B.I. visit.”

“Good,” Stellan said. “How are you?” 

“I think I went to far getting Bill back in the fold,” Alex admitted.

“Your brother seems to be doing good now so don’t dwell on things that had to be done,” Stellan took a breath of the salty air. “He is doing everything he always should have. The Malforals said something to make Bill think they did it. Don’t whine over spilled milk. Was she the first you had to take care of yourself?”

“Yeah,” Alex cracked his stiff neck. “I didn’t think I’d feel,” He paused, “guilt.”

“I suggest you let it go,” Stellan sigh. “I was reminded of my first problem I had to take care of today. I can barely look that girl in the eyes. She looks so much like her father. He was going to take some family business elsewhere and I could not let that happen. Bunny’s Father was one of our best guys before you were old enough to help me. One of the original people that helped build this business up. But business is business. You should be delighted your brother found happiness again. Let the past stay in the past.”

“He does seem very happy with Bunny.” Alex chuckles, “They are like rabbits.”

“Great,” he pats Alex on the back. “Go have some wine and pastries. I will talk with Valter next and then Bill. We do this as we always do. I’ll talk to Valter about his girl so the F.B.I. doesn’t realize we know they are listening.”

They head back to the main house. What they did not realize was Princess was close enough to hear what they were saying. She was going to surprise Alex with her stealthy skills. He must have been distracted or she was really getting better because he did not even notice her. It is one thing to be helping him in the cannabis trade and other recreational drugs she thought should be regulated like liquor to just those over twenty-one. This revelation that he killed his brother’s girl and his Father had killed his associated was not right. It was evil and unforgivable in her book.

But who could she tell? Who could she trust to do the right thing? Alex had allies in local law enforcement. She could not go to the F.B.I. because of everything she had done to help the family. Princess knew better than to fall for one of their immunity deals that always had some little clause that let other law enforcement put you in prison even if they guaranteed they would not bring you up on charges. Disappearing without telling someone would just be suspicious. She really had some serious thinking to do. Until then she would just come in though the front door and pretend she just got there. Pretend she never heard her lover and his father were killers.

Princess smiles as she opens the door. Alex tipped his drink to her with a grin from across the room. She walks over to the group with Valter first getting his attention.

“Congratulations on graduating business school.” She kept her eye on Alex as he smirked at her.

“Thanks,” He said. “My best girl Angel has graduated with a liberal Arts degree.”

“Congratulations to you also young lady.” She saunters over to Alex like she heard nothing. “Where can I get something strong around here.”

“You Found it Princess.” He pours her mostly pineapple rum with a dash of cola. Tosses a cherry in with it. “Is this what you were after?”

“For now,” She laughed.

“How about we take the rest of this conversation into the office?” He puts his hand on the small of her back as he guides her into the office.

Chills run up her spine when he touches her. But this time they are not the good chills his touch usually brings.

“How is the import business?” He moves her towards the desk looking at her seductively the whole time.

“Shipments have been on time.” She turns to face him at the desks edge. “Three more this coming week. Is it true what people are saying about your brother Bill?”

“Extremely exaggerated.” His face dips into her cleavage. He works his mouth up to her neck then ear. “I promise you things didn’t go down as rumors might say. Now turn around and try to be quiet.”

Princess gasped into Alex’s hand covering her mouth. He drilled deep. His thrusting hard. Quick. Nothing she was not used to. Nothing she would not usually saver with gritted teeth.  But today it was like he was ripping her heart out with every hip pulse. Tears streamed down her face. Alex leans over her to growl in her ear as his free works her clit. This usually pushes her right over the top so they can both be satisfied.

“Come on Princess, let go,” He was on the cusp of his release. “come with me baby…oh fuck right now…” he groaned. He fills her up as she whimpered. He removes his hand from her mouth. “I’m sorry Princess. What can I do to help you finish? I hate to think you were not satisfied completely” He kisses the back of her neck.

She turns putting her arms around him. Smiles, “I’m good. Maybe later, you can take me somewhere more private, so I can scream out how superior you are compared to any other.”

Alex grins, “That’s a deal.”

They walk back into the living room like nothing ever happened.  

“Angel would you like to try out to be a dancer, in the office, right now while Valter to taking a walk with out Father?” Alex asked the young girl that almost looked lost without her suiter.

“Sure,” She jumped up bouncier than Alex expected.

He chuckled, “Good, right this way.”

When they left, Princess downed another pineapple rum and cola. Then she went to Bunny whispering in her ear as Bill chatted with his sister. “Can I talk to you privately?”

Bunny nod, “Excuse us.” She kisses Bill on the cheek.

Bill smiles and continues his conversation with his sister.

“How about we talk outside.” Bunny walked to the door. Princess followed. “I’m told it is less likely that someone can listen outside the house.

Bunny sits on the swing. Princess sits on a rocking chair scooting up closely.

“Can I talk to you in confidence.” Princess starts.

“Of course you can, Princess.” Bunny sat closer to her since it seemed that was what her current patient wanted. “What’s bothering you?”

Princess looks around as if scared to speak, “Would you be surprised this family has killed people.”

“I don’t have any knowledge of that,” Bunny said defensively. “Whatever you have heard is probably a complete exaggeration of the situation. You know someone drops the ball on something and suddenly it is exaggerated that four or ten guys were killed.” Bunny laughs. “Did you hear something that has bothered you enough to come to me?”

Princess looks around again, “I’m not talking about Bill. He really doesn’t seem like the rest of them. He seems um clean.”

Bunny nods in agreement. She doesn’t exactly know what Princess is getting at but clean is not a word she would ever use to describe Bill.

“I mean those guys Bill thought killed his girl didn’t do it.” Princess swallowed hard. “I heard Alex and Stellan talking. Alex killed Bill’s girl to get him back in the family and the reason Stellan was stunned when he first saw you is because he killed your father.”

Bunny looked completely shocked, “No no, you had to have heard them wrong.”

“I didn’t,” Princess said, “Bunny Stellan Killed your Father and Alex killed Genna. I’m..”

“What the fuck? What the fuck” Bill screamed. He came out to see if Bunny needed her sweater. “Their dead.”

He walked back in the house. He busted into the office. Angel was dancing to Delicate by Taylor Swift  as Alex watched expressionless sitting behind the desk. Alex jumped up surprised when he saw Bill enter.

Bill drew his gun,” Get the fuck out of her Angel.”

She grabbed her cloths and rushed out. Put them on before going to get Valter.

“Is it true Alex?” Bill demanded. “Did you kill Genna to get me back in the fold?”

As soon as Alex grin slightly planning to say something that might get him out of this situation, Bill shot him right in the heart. Alex looked stunned as he grabbed his chest before falling on the desk. Gustaf and Eija stood at the door in udder disbelief. Bill pushed them out of the way.

“Bill what are you doing,” Gustaf pleaded as he took out his gun.

Eija ran behind the couch to dazed and confused to scream.  

“I’m making things right,” Bill screeched. “Alex Killed Genna Gustaf. And…”

“Ok, now you shot him,” Gustaf tried negotiating with Bill to put the gun down. “We can fix this. We do not blame you. Just hand me the gun, Bill. It is going to be ok?” Gustaf reach out.

Stellan comes in with Valter and Angel. Angel is clinging on Valter sobbing and shaking.

“What the fuck is going…” Stellan does not even get the words out before Bill shoots him between the eyes. “Bunny did not need to lose her fucking father so young.”

The F.B.I swarmed the place as the gunshots go off. “Put the guns down. Everyone down on the ground.”

Gustaf and Bill put their guns down before getting on the floor with everyone else.

“I’m sorry bunny,” Bill cried. “I had do it for you and Genna.”

Gustaf yelled. “Shut up Bill. Do not say another word.”

When all was said, and done Bill was the only one that did prison time. Gustaf, Valter, Princess and Bunny took on more responsibilities with out the two highest respected Skarsgards. Bunny visited Bill every day they would let her. Her hand on the glass. His on the other side of the glass. She usually ended up crying when she left but never showed him her tears. 

[poisxnyouth]

neighbors. chapter 1. (d.d)

A/N: There are 3 shows that inspire this: Sex and the City, Gossip Girl, and Mad Men. 3 of my favorite shows ever. I haven’t written anything in a really long time and this is (essentially) my first David fic! Enjoy! If you feel like something isn’t in character or notice any inconsistencies or just plain don’t like it, don’t be afraid to let me know! I appreciate all criticism. <3 Thank you to @alrightinbed-betterwithapen for getting me into writing again!! Endless love to her.

Warnings: Drinking, implied underage drinking, and cursing. Nothing too crazy!

You had lived your entire life in classic Manhattan wealth. You were never groomed with the trivial perfect grades, perfect outfits, and Ivy League expectations that the kids in your school had to deal with. Your parents put you in a private school with uniforms, allowing you to choose what you wanted in life. This nonchalant parenting pushed you to meet the expectations your peers had set. It had, luckily, worked out for you. You maintained a 5.0 GPA throughout high school and did anything you could to meet Ivy League alumni through Manhattan’s elite. You breezed your way through Yale Admissions, just as your parents had, and majored in Psychology in conjunction with a minor in French. Your parents were very proud of you, of course, and you quickly got a job in Los Angeles fresh off the graduation stage. You were an intern at an advertising firm on Madison Avenue in high school, allowing you to gain interest and experience in the copywriting world. With a full book of advertising copy, your knowledge of psychology aided you in producing better work. You were now the youngest creative director in the entirety of Los Angeles at a top-notch advertising firm. You made good money and it came in fast, so fast that you had managed to go from a studio apartment in Downtown LA to putting a down payment on a $2 million-dollar house in the Hills (with some help from your parents). Everything had worked out as you had planned. You had (mostly) worked for everything you got, and you were proud of it.

Your friends had followed a similar path with varying backgrounds. Francine, from a poor family in Brooklyn, had been put in your school so she could have a promising future. She used it to her advantage. Tessa had come from an even richer family than yours, her father a real estate mogul; mother, an immigration lawyer. Sienna moved to Manhattan freshman year of high school, from a middle-class family with ultimately no connections in the Big Apple. It was fine, she quickly adjusted and met many people through you and your friends’ parents. All 4 of you had worked hard throughout the 4 years you had spent together, rotating sleepovers in you and Tessa’s penthouses, Sienna’s apartment, and Francine’s loft. You had, way too often, fallen asleep together with your heads stuffed in AP textbooks. You had all earned an Ivy League admission: You, Yale; Francine, Dartmouth; Tessa, Harvard; and Sienna, Princeton. You stayed in touch all of university, meeting up in the heart of Manhattan every Saturday to go shopping on Fifth Avenue. You made the distance work.  Francine is now a graphic designer; Tessa is an intern at Vogue, hoping to soon be an editor; and Sienna is an archivist at the Met. You didn’t have time to keep up with social situations outside of those 3 women.

++

“We miss you in New York, Y/N! You need to visit! How’s that neighbor of yours coming along?” Your best friends are screaming into the tiny speaker on Francine’s phone. You can practically see the group of girls huddled together on a street in the Upper East Side, arms filled with shopping bags as they listen intently to your voice.  

“I don’t know, guys. He’s cute. Like, really cute. I just wish I knew who he was. He’s so young! Like, our age at the most. What could he possibly do for a living? There’s always something going on at his house. I swear, yesterday I saw at least 30 people over there holding a bunch of balloons and fireworks went off.”

“Maybe he’s one of those Youtuber people?” Tessa suggested.

“Hmm…,” you’re flipping through your mail, phone balanced between your shoulder and ear. “He could be. He always has a camera in his hand. God, he’s hot.”

“Oh my god, Y/N, how are you so smart but so stupid? He’s a Youtuber!” Tessa chimed in once more.

“Is that supposed to be a big deal? Like, do they make a lot of money?”

“Uh, yeah. If they’re really big, they make bank. There are a few in New York. I think Casey Neistat is the biggest one on the East Coast, but most of the Youtubers live in LA. So, if he lives in your neighborhood, he probably is pretty huge.”

“I mean I don’t really care who he is – fuck, you guys!” you groan exasperatedly.

“What happened?” they questioned in unison.

“I got his mail on accident! I have to go over there! Oh my gosh, his name is David.”

“Oooo, Daaaavviiiidd!” they mocked. You separate your mail from his and huff in response.

“Y/N, are you seriously neighbors with David Dobrik?”

“I don’t know who that is, Francine. It only says David Smith on all the labels. I’m not going to worry about it, guys. He’s just eye candy. He’s too annoying as a neighbor.” Francine immediately reprimands you for not knowing who he is.

“Yeah, okay, Y/N. You’re gonna go over there, give him his mail, and go home and write about your wet dream of him. Imagine this on the headlines: Y/N Writes Fanfiction About Famous Youtuber?!” Sienna is laughing into the shared speaker.

“You guys are bitches!” you giggled, “I have to go do this. Pray for me! I love you!” They respond with I love you’s and making kissy noises into the phone.

 ++

 You rang the doorbell nervously and smooth your hair down in the reflection of his glass door, fiddling with the corner of your neighbor’s envelopes in your hands. You can feel the corners going soft from your sweaty fingertips. You hear a throaty voice yell, “NATALIE! DOOR!” If that’s David, he already sounds like a dick. A pretty girl in her pajamas rounds the corner, smiling when she sees you. You’re slightly disappointed. This Natalie must be his girlfriend.

“Hey! What’s up?” she says as she opens the door.

“Um, I’m your neighbor, Y/N! I, um, I think I got your mail? But you don’t really look like a David Smith, so maybe not?”

“Oh, no! That’s us. It’s for my boss, David Dobrik. It’s his cover name.” “Boss?” you question, feeling a little nosy. She doesn’t seem bothered, it seems like she must explain this often. You hear his name and clock it, knowing full well you’ll most likely forget it.

“Yeah,” she admits sheepishly. “David’s my boss – I’m his assistant.”

“Oh! Cool,” you kind of want to keep the conversation going; she’s nice! “There’s always something going on here!” you laugh a little.

“Yeah, but you know David…”

“I actually don’t! What does he do?” She seems surprised.

“He’s a Youtuber! I’ve been his friend since we were little, so it’s really awesome to see him grow like this.”

“Oh, sweet! Is he single?” The question flies out before you can think twice. Your eyes widen a little bit, breaking eye contact.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. That just came out-“

“It’s fine! Yes, he’s single. You wanna meet him? He’s a little busy right now, but-“

“Oh my gosh, no! I mean, I just see him sometimes and he’s really cute. I was just curious.”

As soon as you say this, the man comes from a side hallway in the house. He walks to the door as Natalie nods understandingly.

“Hey! Who’s this?” He recognizes you as his neighbor, but he doesn’t say it. He just wants to know your name.

“This is Y/N, she’s our neighbor,” Natalie says. His eyes widen a little bit as he’s shaking your hand.

“David. Nice to meet you,” he’s leaning into the door frame now; arms crossed, chapped lips, messy hair, sweatpants, and all. It’s nice to get a closer look at him. He watches your eyes as you scan him up and down, causing him to smirk and look away.

“You wanna come in?” he offers. Your heart almost stops.

“Oh, it’s okay – I don’t want to intrude, and I have to get back to work anyways,” you attempt to rattle off excuses. He cocks his head and looks at you again.

“What do you do?”

“I’m in advertising,” you say, playing with your hands nervously. His eyes catch it.

“How’d you get that gig?”

“Um, I grew up and went to school in Manhattan, got admitted into Yale and graduated with a degree in psychology. I interned with an agency in high school and I really loved it, so I used psychology to help me write better copy,” the words tumble out too quickly and you almost feel stupid to spill so much. You try to push it out of your mind; you worked for what you achieved, you’re allowed to brag. He almost seems impressed.

“You live alone?”

You nod, almost feeling like you’re being interrogated.

“David, just let her go home,” Natalie gives you an apologizing look. She wants to snicker at how flustered you became when he showed up.

“Yeah, yeah, of course. Have a nice day, Y/N. You can come over whenever you want!” He’s almost shutting the door before Natalie stops him.

“Hey, can I get your number? We should hang out sometime.” You say of course and David’s watching as you type your number into her phone.

“Thanks! I’ll see you later, Y/N.” The door closes as you bid them goodbye and you almost want to die from humiliation.  You facepalm as you walk out of their driveway.

++

You can’t stop yourself from speed dialing Francine’s number as soon as you walk through your front door. She picks up on the third ring.

“Hey, girl! How’d it go?”

“Are you still with the girls?”

“Yeah, I’ll put you on speaker,” she replies before you hear all the girls individually say their hello’s.

“You guys…I met him. Oh my god, he’s so hot, I think I’m going to cry. He’s a stunner.”

“What’s his name? Is he who I said he is? David Dobrik?” Francine asks, desperate to be correct.

“Um...His assistant said his name…I think that was it?”

“You’re going to gush about how hot he is, but you don’t even remember his name?” Sienna questions.

“I was too busy freaking out! When he introduced himself, all he said was David!”

“Wait, wait, wait, Y/N! Walk us through what happened,” Tessa says coolly.

I launch myself onto my couch with a big sigh before I begin explaining.

 ++

 “So, Y/N seemed to be into you…” Natalie blurts later that night as David edits. He shrugs.

“David! You need to date somebody! She’s pretty!”

“You know I don’t have time! I don’t even get the vlogs up when I should.”

“Okay, and? All you do since Liza broke up with you is work! You know you deserve better.”

“Natalie, she’s probably not even into me, like, pretty sure she just has anxiety. She was fidgeting the whole time.”

“What do you mean, ‘She’s probably not even into me?’ She asked me if you were single!”  Natalie mocks his voice, going deeper than she needs to. He rolls his eyes in response, wanting the conversation to be finished.

“Just think about it, Dave. She’s smart, she went to Yale for God’s sake! Obviously, she cares about her job, juuuust like you do! I think you should ask her on a date.”

“She has a different dude over like, every night,” he grumbles.

“Oh, so you pay attention? And so what? They could be coworkers. Don’t be stupid, Dave.”

“I’m not asking her out on a date,” he affirms.

“Fine, I’m inviting her over.”  He rolls his eyes again, making it a point to force his eyes to go as far back as possible while telling Natalie to go ahead.

 ++

 “Hey Y/N! It’s Natalie. You wanna come over and have a few drinks?” The text shows up on your phone as you’re about to go to bed. You can’t push yourself to decline the invitation. A few drinks sound nice, anyway. You had learned how to hold your liquor your sophomore year of college, going through a partying phase, spending nearly every possible free night at a frat house.

You get dressed (again) and make your way to David’s house, ringing the doorbell. You see David’s head on the couch as Natalie rises from her spot to come to the door.

“Hey! Come in!” you step in, recognizing it’s a shoe off house. You wordlessly oblige as Natalie makes small talk with you.

“So, how’d you end up in LA from New York?” She leads you to the kitchen, taking out a stout glass of the dark cabinets for the each of you.

“I kept copywriting through college, so as soon as I graduated, I sent my portfolio to as many advertising agencies as I could. The agency I work for now is actually an extension of the New York office I interned for in high school, so I guess someone in New York saw my book in the stack and pulled some strings.” Natalie has now worked her way over to the stocked bar of liquor, responding with multiple mmhmm’s.

“What do you drink?”

“Vodka.” She nods and nearly makes your glass overflow.

“You seem like you need it,” she says pathetically, handing you the cup.

“Oh, believe me, I do,” you admit, ingesting half the glass in one swallow. You wince a little bit at the taste.

Your eyes scan around the room for David, but it seems he must’ve left to go somewhere else in the house.

“So, you think David is cute!” She breaks the silence, knowing what you’re thinking, “I can hook you guys up. He needs somebody.” You blush and tap your fingers on the glass.

“Oh, I mean…Yeah, he’s cute. But I don’t really have time for anyone, I’m working a lot.” She leads you to the sectional couch, pulling a blanket over her lap. You sit a few cushions away from her.

“You sound like him!” It makes you laugh slightly. “I’m serious! That’s exactly what he would say.”

“What’s he doing?”

“He’s editing right now. It usually takes him all night.”

“Honestly, Natalie, I’ve never watched a YouTuber before or anything, so I don’t really know anything about this. Like, how big is he? And what is ‘big’ on YouTube?”

“He has 11 million subscribers, so that’s pretty big. I mean there are bigger people, of course, like Shane Dawson, but he’s good at what he does, and he works hard. He deserves everything he has.”

“Good for him,” you reply, finishing the rest of your drink. She nods her head, agreeing with you. You can’t help considering the similarities it seems like you two share. You’re both hard workers, earning (mostly) everything you have, and you’re both proud of what you do.

“Do you have any friends in LA?” Natalie questions. You shrug your shoulders, getting up to make yourself another drink and feel at home. You quickly pour yourself more vodka and return to your seat.

“Most of my friends I left back in New York. I miss them so much. I told them about David,” you admit in a whisper as she gasps, a smile spreading across her face.

“You did not! Oh my god, I really need to set you guys up now!” She’s laughing, smacking your arm jokingly.

“Shut uuuup!” You giggle, “I couldn’t help it! What would you do if you lived in another city, alone, and all of a sudden you got a cute, young, obviously successful neighbor? Whew! I couldn’t not spill it!” You’re starting to feel more comfortable in the conversation and as you continue chatting with her, the more you like her.

“What are their names?”

“Okay, so. I went to high school with all of them. There’s Francine, she went to Dartmouth and is a graphic designer. There’s Tessa, she went to Harvard and she’s an intern at Vogue. And then there’s Sienna, she went to Princeton and she’s an archivist at The Met.”

“Wow! All Ivy League.”

“We all did it together! I couldn’t have done it without them. I love them. Besides them, though, don’t really have any friends out here! I’ve never really needed more than those 3. I miss them so much.”

“Well, now you have me! I’m getting you a boyfriend, even if it’s the last thing I do,” she laughs.

“Are you and David from LA?”

She laughs into her drink, “God, no! Chicago. David and I were neighbors and went to school together since elementary school.”

“That’s so cute!”

“You haven’t known David Dobrik for almost 15 years! I swear, it’s like taking care of a baby,” she rolls her eyes.

“I HEARD THAT!” You hear a voice yell from a bedroom as you make a nervous face. What else had he heard?

“Fuck you, David!” He doesn’t respond as Natalie resumes your conversation.

“My friend, Francine, kept insisting that he was David Dobrik,” you whispered, “I don’t know how the hell she knew that. I swear, she has ESP or something. She’s just as busy as me, so it’s beyond me how she has time to watch YouTubers.”

“I mean, Y/N, he is pretty big. Like, are you sure you don’t just live under a rock?” You gasp mockingly.

“Yeah, probably. I’m a workaholic.”

“So, are you strictly a copywriter?” You shake your head no as you gulp down some of your drink.

“No, I’m a creative director. Basically, that means I give the creative presentations to the heads of businesses we represent. I also oversee all of the regular copywriters at the firm and approve everything.”

“Wait, who do you represent?”

“Um, I mean…Apple, Clearasil, Jaguar, Tesla, Maybelline, a few department stores, it really depends.”

“So, you’re the reason why David owns a Tesla?” You laugh at that.

“I mean, I could be. I don’t know. I’m just starting in the industry.”

“Holy shit. That’s so crazy!” You shrug your shoulders.

“It’s alright. I love what I do.”

“How does all of that work?”

“What? Like, the whole advertising thing?” She nods.

“So, basically,” you clear your throat, “if a firm drops an account, which is a company slash brand, or the account decides to leave a firm, then account men or women are trying their best to get a presentation for the company. Agencies are always trying to get bigger than others. The job of the account man is to have good relations with the account’s leaders, meaning they just go out on dinners or for drinks with them. They keep up appearances. It sounds easy, but I’ve seen account men cry when it doesn’t go well. While this is happening, copywriters are practically scrambling to come up with something to present. It’s chaos, but it’s so good. It’s the best feeling in the world, especially when you do win the account.”

“Don’t you get tired?”

“I mean, the hours can get pretty long, but it’s fine. I get paid well. I also get pretty much unlimited vacation and sick days, no one thinks twice about it as long as I’m not gone for weeks at a time. It’s great.”

“You’re so fucking lucky!”

You wave her off, “I don’t think so. I worked for it.” She nods again as David emerges from a bedroom.

“Hey,” he says, walking to the kitchen to grab a water bottle. Natalie looks at you, waggling her eyebrows with a giant smile on her face. You snicker a little bit and David notices.

“What’s up with the giggling? You guys talking about me?”

“No, David. Not everything is about you,” Natalie says as he throws his hands up in defense.

“I’m just saying, you guys went quiet as soon as I walked in.”

“Maybe it’s because you interrupted us,” you say, meeting his eyes. He stares blankly at you.

“I can go,” He says, smiling his stupid smile.

“We’re fucking with you, Dave. Sit down,” Natalie rolls her eyes.

“What are you guys talking about?” He plops himself down on the couch pretty far away from you and Natalie.

“Y/N’s job. She’s in advertising,” Natalie seems to be bragging for you.

“Uh, yeah, I know, Nat. She said that earlier.”

“Ugh, still, Dave! I’m impressed.” David doesn’t know what to say, he doesn’t know enough about you.

“So, you went to Yale?” he asks. You nod. It’s quiet for a few moments.

“Y/N, we should go to New York!” Your eyes widen at Natalie’s suggestion. You had only met this girl a few hours ago, and she’s suggesting going to New York with you? You’re surprisingly open to it, not allowing yourself to say no.

“I mean, do you want to? ‘Cause I can call in tomorrow morning and we can totally spend the weekend there! You can meet the girls!”

“Uh, Natalie, you forget I’m your boss-“

“I’m also your fucking friend! Just come with!” Natalie says exasperatedly.

“Okay,” David throws his hands in the air, “Fine. Get us some flights, Natalie.”

“I don’t have my debit card on me-“

“It’s fine, Y/N, I’ve got it,” David insists.

“What? No! I can afford it!”

“I didn’t ask if you could afford it! I’m paying,” he persists. It’s kind of hot. You reluctantly mutter an okay as Natalie grabs her computer.

You ended up going home, hurriedly packing a suitcase before returning to David’s 30 minutes later. While at home, you group Facetimed all of the girls.

“Girls, I’m coming to NYC! One small catch, though…David’s coming with.”

[prorevenge]

High School Bully Fired and Arrested 6 Years Later

[TL;DR at the bottom]

[Backstory] I went to school in a predominantly white area and being white myself I had it pretty easy, parents who cared for me and my activities, friends who respected each other, and all around a 'normal' HS experience. (not really important, just want to paint the picture) Like all High Schools, I was bullied, not a big surprise, I'm your generic nerdy white boy with glasses. I had a small friend group and generally never caused problems.

Now, you know I wouldn't be posting here if we never met again... little did I know it would be 6 YEARS later!

[The Encounter] Time went on, years went by, I secured a job with a Security company after my Associate's Degree, and make decent money. I mainly deal with truck drivers 95% of the time and have only written 3 major incident reports in the 4 years I've worked there. Day was normal, no problems, until "Enter Chad." I didn't know at the moment he came in, but it was him, 100%. I found out after he handed me his license, I knew because he had this one for 3 years (obviously expired) and I remembered his putrid, disgusting, bile face. The memories came back, I hadn't thought about Chad in YEARS, tbh I forgot he even existed, until that day. He came in, didn't recognize me and I took care of him like anyone else, except he has to come back to me when he leaves with his outbound trailer, so I planned, I thought of what I could do to make him remember me, to make him hurt like I did... Now I graduated with a degree for Criminal Justice, so I have a pretty good understanding about laws and regulations in my state, and since his license is expired I thought I could use that to my advantage. So I basically told Chad what trailer to pick up and where it was, he went and grabbed it and brought it back to me, I said "Heyyy, sorry... but I gave you the wrong trailer, we are using that one later to fill a load and the Site Manager just called me about it." He gave me one of those, 'really? God you are wasting my time' looks that I get all the time but said this, "Look man, I'm almost out hours and I need to get out of here, can't they just reassign it?" Me: "No, unfortunately once a trailer is assigned... blah blah security talk" I told him he needed to go get a different one instead. {This was true and not part of my plan, but I rolled with it} He kept nagging about how it will get him fired if he doesn't take his break on time and that he is already on his dispatcher's "watch list"... I loved when he told me this, I was going to do whatever I could to make him waste as much time as possible, so, I called our 'yard dog'(YD) (a driver on site who moves trailers in and out of dock doors) and told him a driver was refusing to drop their trailer and that he needs to be escorted off the property. The YD came and stopped in front of his tractor so he couldn't move forward and told him to unhook immediately. For a second he waited outside of his truck yelling obscenities and stuff, eventually the YD and myself went into the guard shack in case he got violent. He said. "F\*k this!" *Big mistake** Chad jumped back in his truck, drove around the YD's when he was in my guard shack, and left as fast as he could, I was already on the phone with my supervisor and he told me to call the police. (Trailer theft is a felony in my state) So I did, told them the Tractor number, his name, and a description, along with the trailer he had and his general direction of travel. About an hour went by before I had a police cruiser show up and asking for me. He questioned me on the whole who, what, when, where, and how. He told me that he was caught up to eventually and was arrested! They needed me as a witness and to make a statement for their report, so I made sure to mention myself noticing his expired license and everything else. To the best of my knowledge Chad will be getting at least a year of prison time (as felonies are a 1 year minimum) and fired from his trucking company.

Granted, I technically just did my job, but I made sure to be as detailed as possible and make sure he pays for what he did to me all those years ago.

​

[TL;DR] Bully from school beat me up, I see him at my job 6 years later, he breaks the law, and is now in prison.

Thank you for everyone who read this, hope some of you got a kick out of my experience, and remember: If someone's job is to tell you what to do, just do it.

I hope to have updates when the trial comes around (if it ever happens) but the Officer told me for the most part my statements should be enough for them and I might not even have to go to court. But I sincerely hope I get to, I'd love to see his face when the judge slaps a sentence and remind him of the past and what he did to me.

PS: Who's the cumstain now Chad?

(source) story by (/u/What_I_Wonder)

[laniidae-passerine]

This is my Secret New Year gift for Henning :)

Kyoya gripped the handle of the bat tightly, ignoring the slight cramp he felt along his carpals and the way his knuckles were turning the colour of ivory. He saw the red white blur of the ball speeding towards him, swung upwards and-

“Strike!” 

The even toned voice of the umpire rang through the pitch, Hikaru Hasama wincing slightly as the secondary batter for the Japanese baseball team struck out once again. 

“Goddamnit!” Kyoya snarled, pointedly avoiding eye contact with the very smug looking Chao Xin who was grinning at him from 2nd base. That was the second time he’d missed the hit, and if Kyoya was the kind of guy to admit to his emotions, he note that he was feeling pretty useless at this point. Usually, Kyoya didn’t ever miss, hitting the ball with such speed and intense precision that the other team could only watch in awe as the ball went soaring over their heads. This time however, the ball wasn’t even making contact with his bat, and he was pointedly avoiding the confused gaze of his fellow teammates. 

“What the hell is going on?” hissed Masamune, watching as Kyoya shifted his stance wider.

Nile blinked back at him. “I can’t tell you, but it sure isn’t good.” 

Gingka turned to reply to Nile, when suddenly the whole Gan Gan Galaxy team yelled out in irritation as Hikaru Hasama shouted out the final ‘STRIKE!’ and the Chinese Baseball team cheered as they won the round. 

With a loud snarl, Kyoya threw down his bat and angrily exited the pitch, swapping places with his teammate Demure. The rest of team stood up as he attempted to push past, blocking him from leaving. Seven other faces stared at him, all with varying degrees of emotion, waiting for him to take the first word. But he was refusing to talk about it. 

“Explain.” The cool voice of team captain Tsubasa broke through the tension that was heavy in the air. 

“What?” The green haired batter avoided looking at him, a small snarl twitching at the corners of his lips. “What do you mean explain?”

‘C’mon Kyo-yo!’ pouted the youngest member of the team. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, Yu,” Kyoya said, his arms now crossed in a defensive position in front of him. “I just missed a few hits, that’s all.”

“You didn’t miss one,” interjected Madoka, “You missed all of them. That’s so unlike you!”

“Yeah, Kyoya buddy!” Benkei interjected. “You’re great at this!”

This was followed by a loud agreement from the rest of the team, who all nodded their heads and made noises of approval. 

“I’m aware,” came the dry response. Kyoya was now closing up even more than before and stared at the wall behind his friends, which was emblazoned with posters promoting upcoming matches. The day wasn’t that warm, a cool autumn wind blowing a few loose leaves over to the stand where the baseball players were converged, but Kyoya felt the heat under his collar like it was the peak of summer. He was embarrassed, no doubt, but more importantly he didn’t need his team crowding around him like he’d just flunked the final bat of the championships. He didn’t need their pity, especially not that of Hagane. 

The way they were looking at him filled his stomach with dread, and he could feel their disappointed gazes burning into his skin. It was just a stupid practice match! What were they so worried about? 

“Listen,” Nile said, stepping forward, “You can’t afford - we can’t afford for you to play like that tomorrow. The EU team are exceptionally good. You miss even one hit, and that could be it.”

Kyoya shrugged. “Today was a one off. Whatever. I’ll be fine tomorrow.”

“But it wasn’t a one off,” Madoka timidly reminded him. “You’ve been missing more and more hits every time we’ve practiced.” 

“Yeah! That shows you’re getting worse,” Masamune pointedly noted. “Or perhaps you’re just not practicing,” he sniffed. 

“Masamune!” Gingka exclaimed. 

“What? Either Kyoya isn’t practicing or he can’t match up to other batters. Like me,” Masamune smiled, his eyes portraying a slight sense of self-righteousness.

“Hey, you’re wrong!” Yu jumped in. “It’s obvious that Kyoya’s better than you. Not like that’s hard.”

“What?!” Masamune turned on his smaller teammate.

“Well, he beat you in all the tryouts for the team, right? No way that you’d be able to beat him if you were to face off again.” 

“Yu...” Tsubasa warned. 

“Well, maybe in his current state, that could be possible,” Madoka stated offhandedly. She then promptly blushed, abashed. “No offense, Kyoya.” 

“No way! His player spirit would totally beat any of your logic!” Gingka interrupted her

“What do you mean ‘beat my logic’? That’s not how logic works!”

“It doesn’t matter either way, because Masamune is just such a terrible player.”

“Now listen here you little!-“

The conversation began to devolve, everyone starting to shout at each other, and Kyoya found himself getting incredibly annoyed. Here they were, yelling and screaming at one another over useless points, and not one of them even letting him go to take a break. Masamune and Yu were fighting, Tsubasa was trying to break it up, Madoka was trying to explain the maths of Kyoya’s failings to Gingka and Nile and Benkei looked like they were about to start arguing too. He was about to try slip away when he heard a sentence that struck him to the core. 

“Well, not even Kyoya could beat Gingka. He’s not that good.”

And with that, Kyoya snapped. “SHUT UP!” 

The team turned away from their petty squabbles to gawp, open mouthed at him. Gingka took a step forward, about to say something when Kyoya cut him off.

“I get it. I missed my hits. I guess you don’t want me to play in tomorrow’s game, since I’m so terrible now and you want me to stand down.” 

“That’s not what we were saying-“

“You didn’t need to,” Kyoya growled, and ignoring the protests of everyone else, shoved his way through the crowd and headed for the changing rooms.

“Geez,” said Masamune, watching as Kyoya left, “What’s up with him?” 

——————

It was late, but Kyoya couldn’t sleep. He stood alone on the pitch, stance wide, eyes ablaze in frustration, aiming to take another hit. The automatic pitching machine made a low whirring noise, and then suddenly launched a ball high into air, aimed in Kyoya’s direction. He slid his left leg back, screwed up his face in pure concentration, body tight, and-

Missed. For the 17th time that night. He had managed to get dressed and escape the rest of team before they came looking for him earlier, but he had only been kept awake by the knowledge that he was vastly unprepared for tomorrow’s match with the EU team. He was sloppy and couldn’t bat to save his life, even though his fielding work was still on par. Maybe he should just stand down.

He scowled, and lined up to take another shot, when he heard a voice pierce through the dark. 

“I don’t think this is going to work for you, you know.” 

He spun around on his feet to see the bright orange haired pitcher and his closest friend staring at him from the bench. Nile had a look of concern on his face, but he more blatantly looked disappointed. 

Kyoya turned away from him, facing the machine once again. “And what does it matter to you?”

“For one,” Nile yawned, stretching his arms above him as he moved to stand, “You’re on my team, and if you screw up, then I also end up losing.” His footsteps were quiet as he walked over the grass, damp and glossy from the dew that was beginning to settle over it. When he reached Kyoya’s side, he let out a small hum. “But also, I don’t like to see my best friend lose his game. You’re better than this.”

“So everyone keeps telling me.”

“Then why aren’t you doing better?”

“Who knows? The only thing everyone’s so sure about is that I can��t be the best at this, so why even bother?” Kyoya retorted, a hint of irritation clear in his voice.

Nile’s deep green eyes flashed in sudden understanding. “Ah. This is about Hagane’s stupid record.” 

“What?!” Kyoya clenched his teeth, and spat the words out as if it was a preposterous assumption, but the way that his grip suddenly tightened on the bat indicated that Nile had hit the nail right on the head.

“Have you ever considered that maybe Gingka is so good because he’s spent his whole life playing baseball?” Nile asked.

Kyoya turned over his shoulder to look at Nile, lips pursed, but said nothing.

“He’s the child of the director of World Baseball Association,” Nile continued, “He’s been trained since he was old enough to swing a bat. No doubt that some of it is actual skill, but you only started when you were 10. It’s amazing that you’re as good as you are.” 

Kyoya sighed. “It just feels stupid that I’m jealous of him. I’m as good as him.” He clutched the bat even tighter, the sinews in his hands become clearer under the stress. “Better, even.” 

“Well, it makes sense.” Nile looked Kyoya up and down. “Ever since he won that best batsman award, you’ve been getting worse. Missing hits, tripping over, fully forgetting when you’re on.” 

“Please,” Kyoya growled, “Go on. I love hearing about how I’ve got worse. Maybe mention the time I missed so bad that my bat flew out my hand and I accidentally hit Benkei in the face.” 

Nile let out a short snort of laughter. “My god, that was hilarious. You got him dead inbetween the eyes, it was incredible.” His humoured tone caused a small smile to pull at Kyoya’s mouth. 

“Yeah, it was pretty funny.” But seriousness fell over Kyoya, and he was frowning again. “Doesn’t matter.”

He dropped the bat and slumped into the grass, ignoring the way it made his hands feel uncomfortably wet, and stared up at the stars. “I’m doing so awfully, I might as well be blindfolded for tomorrow’s match.”

Nile gracefully sat down beside him, crossing his legs. “You’re only doing poorly because you’re stressed. You’re not lacking in technique or skill, you’re just far too tense. Have you felt how you keep locking up your body? You’ve been basically clawing that bat for weeks, instead of holding it.” 

Kyoya blinked. “What do you suggest I do, then?” he asked Nile. It wasn’t a sarcastic or aggressive question - he was seriously looking to see how he could change. 

Nile smiled softly. “Stand up.”

Kyoya obliged, brushing a few blades of grass from his t-shirt and picking up his bat. The bat was a deep fir green, and the words ‘Leone’ were written in sharp, golden letters. It was his pride and joy, although it was covered in a good few scratches and a few indents. 

“Take a shoulder width apart stance, and just breathe for a second. Don’t think about Gingka. Don’t think about Masamune. Don’t think about the EU team. Only think about hitting the ball.” Nile took a few strides back, and Kyoya noted he was holding a baseball in his hands. He wondered where Nile had got it from, until he remembered he was supposed to be emptying his brain of any distraction.

“Breathe, okay?” Kyoya nodded. “Now, remember, just focus on hitting this ball. Nothing else. Don’t freeze up or duck when it comes towards you, just make sure you hit it.” 

There was a slight hint of smoke floating on the breeze, probably from an autumnal bonfire, and the sky was a deep velvet blue. There were lights from the city sky-rises flickering in the distance, like fireflies in a evening glade. But Kyoya noted nothing of this. He inhaled a deep breath, and watched as Nile’s hand rose above his head, his fingers tensing. He watched as Nile threw the ball over his head, quick and precise. He kept his posture looser than before, stopping himself from tensing up, swung the bat and- 

“HELL YEAH!” 

The loud sound of the wooden bat striking the baseball was like music to Kyoya’s ears. He gasped, and stared at Nile, who was grinning ear to ear. 

“See? You’re going to kill it tomorrow!”

Nile ran across the field, throwing himself into a hug with Kyoya, the two boys shouting in glee as they jumped up and down. Their triumphant cheering was quickly shut off when a window opened on the side of the building next to the pitch. A very irritated Hikaru popped her head out, and shouted “I’m really happy you’ve fixed your batting Kyoya, but BE QUIET!”

Niles offered a meek “Sorry, Hikaru!” but when she shut the window he turned to Kyoya and grinned. 

“Ready for tomorrow?”

Kyoya hefted his bat in one hand, getting a feel for the weight of it again, and smirked. “Konzern’s not going to know what hit him.” 

-

Tsubasa leant forward, his usually calm face expressing a clear sense of concern. “Fuck.”

Madoka spun around in shock. “Tsubasa!” 

“Sorry Madoka,” he said, apologetically flashing her a smile, “But it seems like Kyoya’s up. And it’s the final pitch of the game.”

“Oh. I see.”

“Hey, maybe he’ll be better today?” Gingka offered up optimistically, although his eyes betrayed his own sense of uneasiness. 

“What, like he’ll get better in a day?” Masamune questioned. He shook his head. “We’re _screwed_.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” a cool voice cut through the lamentations of the team. Everyone looked up to see Nile standing and watching the game, a bottle of water in one hand, the other rested on his trusty bat, Horuseus.   

“What do you mean, Nile?” Demure softly asked, his eyes focusing on Kyoya as he stretched in the batters box, ready to start playing once Hikaru called for it. 

“Let’s just say,” Nile smiled, slightly smug, “From I saw last night, that pitcher Julian is in for a rough round.” 

“Huh?” 

“Ah! Everyone shut up,” Yu cried out, “It’s happening!” 

A quiet hush fell across the crowd and the players as Kyoya straightened his back, looking the star player of the EU team in the eyes. Konzern smirked, clearly aware of Kyoya’s previous mistakes on the pitch and believing that he had this one in the bag. The two teams were drawn, and if Kyoya blundered this, the whole game was lost. 

One last time, Konzern threw the ball into the air, using all the force that he had to propel it towards Kyoya. The green haired batsman didn’t flinch or even twitch as the ball came soaring from above, and seemed to take a moment as if to relax while the rest of the onlookers took in a sudden breath. 

Then, as if he had been doing it his whole life, Kyoya swung upwards in a half arc, rising to meet the ball in the middle of the air in a single fluid motion. His team gazed in awe as the bat made firm contact with the ball, propelling it even higher into the sky then Konzern had thrown it. There was perfect stillness in the stadium as everyone watched the ball soaring in the open air, like a bird swooping in through the sky, flying with such speed that it seemed almost impossible to track. And then, it disappeared over the metal chain-link wall of the stadium, hit so hard that it had completely left the pitch. 

The silence continued until suddenly Kyoya could barely hear his own thoughts as a stupefying roar erupted from the crowd. The whole audience clambered to their feet, screaming out in total shock, and Gan Gan Galaxy were cheering loudest of all. 

They all ran onto the pitch, and Kyoya was quickly enveloped in a group hug, still reeling from the fact that he had done it. That he’d won the match for his team. It was like a picture perfect scene out of a movie, and he beamed with pride as Benkei lifted up into the air. His team chanted his name and carried him off, while the EU team could only gawp at their completely unexpected loss. 

And as Kyoya was deposited onto the team bench, only to be immediately showered with praise, he caught the eye of Nile and smiled.

If he kept hitting like that, he smirked, he’d be the batsman of the year. For now, though, it was enough to be enveloped in the adoration of his teammates and to hang out with his friends after a great game won. And now he knew how good he was, he was never going to doubt himself again. 

Not ever.