#look how happy he is T__T

[gaydexvocaloid]

happy bday vy2!!!

[alicenpai]

lost and found children stickers - coming soon... very happy to get some more original merch underway!! learn more about my ocs, if you want, sketch below + some lore tidbits!!

i would love to become more of an original artist over time but putting ocs out there feels like im running out into the world nude LMAO T__T my ocs are so personal to me, and i put pieces of myself in all of them, that it feels so nerve wracking to post.. one day a comic will come..

funnily enough i started this sheet back in june but didnt have time until off-con season to finish em.. i really want to be like those crazy oc creators with 129045894589 illustrations and little trinkets of ocs. soon. some lore: trent & terence are brothers, the twins are fraternal twins (smiles). also there IS a ship in here and once i get over my embarrassment of drawing ships it's gonna be so over for you all!! (joke) i was so brazen with ships pre-2019 but i cant draw it anymore T_T

-- some trivia that didn't make the cut, i was gonna turn this into an info sheet but i couldn't fit all this text in the layout. sorry the trivia is a bit snarky im in a big sam & max phase right now

--

☀

Melissa of Giacosa (name pending??) Age: 30 Height: 5'4" (WITH heels) Gender: F Occupation: Noble/ scholar/ philanthropist

Helpfulness: 5 Occultic knowledge: 5

A general people pleaser, and excellent at reading people, but sometimes the responsibilities are all too much… sometimes a girl just wishes to watch the world burn!

--

✨

Flynn & Nate of Medeis (real names unknown) Age: 17 Height: 5'6", 5'3" (respectively) Gender: M & F twins Birthday/Asc: Nov 25 (Sagittarius) Occupation: Travellers/ scholars

Luck: 1 Resourcefulness: 5

Uh oh… beware these theatre kids. As travelling magicians (LICENSED), they bring smiles and laughter to all throughout the land. No one really knows who they are, where they're from, or… how many germs they have.

--

🎹

Terence Nightingale Age: 18 Height: 5'8" (looks shorter due to posture) Gender: M Birthday/Asc: Feb 11 (Aquarius) Occupation: Pianist

Fame: 5 Energy level: 2

Knowing the taste of fame at a young age, Terence now has to carry that burden into adult life. Will age turn prodigy into mediocrity? Will he be crushed under a piano? Will he let himself be sandwiched between twenty bedsheets and a pea?!?! Find out in the next exciting episode…

--

🖋

Jack Lockhart Age: 25 Height: 5'7" Gender: M Birthday/Asc: Jan 3 (Capricorn) Occupation: Historian

Knowledge: 4 Strength: 4

With a sharp wit and tongue, and an even sharper blade, it might be best to steer clear of this one. Unfortunately, cats like him, so he never gets any peace, ever. --

🧵

Noa (real name unknown) Age: 17 Height: 5'1" Gender: F Birthday/Asc: Oct 30 (Scorpio) Occupation: Seamstress

Scornful gaze: 5 Fashion sense: 5

The word "smile" does NOT exist in her vocabulary. Blending old trends with the new, Noa is an up-and-coming innovator in the world of textiles and fashion. But what tricks does she have up her sleeve… literally?

--

🔬

Trent Nightingale Age: 25 Height: 6'2" Gender: M Birthday/Asc: Jun 1 (Gemini) Occupation: Biologist

Knowledge: 4 Gift of gab: 5

A rock that ties people together-type of personality, and tries to get along with everyone, maybe to his own detriment. Trent has an unassuming look, but is quite the scholar - he can often be seen with his nose in a book or scribbling away, disappointing those who vie for his attention more as a social butterfly.

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic finder

~*~

1. I'm looking for a fic that's during the Cloud Recesses study arc where, WWX I think, found out Wen Chao couldn't read and started teaching him. I think a couple of the other kids started helping him, MianMian maybe? I can't remember much but they definitely helped him learn how to read and became friends. TIA

FOUND? Wei Wuxian’s Super Special Super Secret Book Club by Anonyma (T, 31k, WWX & WC & LQY, WangXian, Canon Divergence)

~*~

2. hello!! All good? I'm looking for a collection of one shots, and I can't find it, I read it a little while ago but I remember a one shot, where Jiang Cheng and Wei Ying were discussing the fact that Wei Ying had saved the heirs of the sects in cave and Jin Ling was listening and Wei Ying was saying that if he hadn't saved the heirs Jin Ling wouldn't exist and Jiang Cheng said something like, Whatever.... Honestly, I don't even remember the tags, but Jiang Cheng and Wei Ying realizing that Jin Ling had heard, Wei Ying asks what Jin Ling wants. @sweettiebah

FOUND! 🔒 Chapter 11: Careless Words of Short Prompts by Vrishchika (JL POV - Not JC Friendly - WWX loses his patience)

~*~

3. Hello !! Ive read this fanfic a while ago and I have multiple ss of it since i like to save memorable parts of the fic but now i cant remember it anymore </3 i dont remember the synopsis but there was a scene where Lwj and Wwx were in an inn while out night hunting, and wwx suspected the person serving them to have poisoned lwj, wwx got really angry and threatened the guy to the max

quote:

Wei Wuxian slammed him against the wall again, cutting off his rapid ramblings and jostling his fractured arm. "Your stories bore me," he spoke lowly, peering his head around slightly so as to almost look into Heng She's face. He still had yet to acknowledge Lan Wangji's presence. "Tell me why you poisoned the tea, or I will hang you in the street by your intestines, ripped open to let the crows feed on your liver." @jingyisbff

FOUND! let me sing to you by greybird_crookedbranch (T, 61k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Canon Compliant, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, adorable Juniors, Minor Original Character(s)for plot purposes, Minor Violence, Demonic Cultivation, resentful energy, Trauma, Guilt, Protectiveness, BAMF WWX, Hurt wwx, Protective WWX, Protective LWJ, Baby Lans, Mental Instability, Possession, it's a case fic but the case is for the hurts, Angst with a Happy Ending, POV LWJ, a tasteful seasoning of Yunmeng Bros Reconcilliation, CQL canon except LWJ is not chief cultivator, Nightmares)

~*~

4. Hello! T__T I have my focus mode on so my distracting apps like twitter (x) are paused. I took a 5 minutes break and opened it. I saw a threadfic of Bottomji/Topxian (Omegaverse) They already have 3 kids (Yuan, Twins) but they are all alphas. lwj wants a daughter (or an omega son). He rode wwx that night then let him knot him for 3x. They were on a date and lwj bought some robes for a girl the confronts wwx that he wants a daughter.... Thats all Ive read. I want to read the whole thread but my app closed. 💔 Can you guys help me with it? I cant find it anymore.

FOUND! sounds like this twt threadfic by @/omegawangji

~*~

5. Hi, I need help finding a fic I’m pretty sure I’ve seen recommended on here a couple years ago.

I don’t remember the title or the author. It was on AO3. It was an Alternative Universe fic where WWX is an art student (and lived in a dorm with the Wen siblings) and LWJ has a very active but discreet sex life. WangXian know each other but they’re not together. Eventually they start sleeping with each other (WWX doesn’t realize LWJ actually likes him and he’s not just another hookup). There is also a secondary plot about one of LWJ’s past hookups stalking and tormenting them at a club or party at some point? T

his is all I can remember, unfortunately. I hope to reach someone who knows which fic this is by asking on here. WangXian nation, do your thing! 🙏

FOUND? show me a quiver, give me tonight by spookykingdomstarlight (E, 115k, wangxian, lwj/others, communication failure, mutual pining, artists, demisexual wwx, angst w/ happy ending) It doesn't match exactly but some details do

~*~

6. For fic finder, a fic I read a good while back.

It was one of those “jgs magically spies on the burial mounds to get people to hate wwx and the remnants” but in this one wwx and lwj did the “a-yuan is birthed from wwx” thing and the people spying believe it. Lqr passes out for a bit and lxc and jc start planning a wedding since lwj apparently deflowered wwx. I think it was completed

FOUND! Assumptions by draechaeli (T, 50k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Mainly Novel with a few CQL and Donghua bits, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Adoption, Adoption but WWX birthed them all, not mpreg, Not Established Relationship, Fluff, Canon-Typical Violence, Fix-It, gender non-conforming titles)

~*~

7. Hello! Here's one I've read a dozen times and would swear I have bookmarked, but now I can't find it. Basically, LZ is a courtesan/assassin who's sent by JGS to seduce and kill the powerful Yiling Patriarch. Meng Yao is working with LZ, although he has his own plans against JGS, of course. WWX later realizes LZ's brother is alive and looking for him, so he brings them together. (By the way, are you thinking of adding a Courtesan compilation? There are plenty of good ones to rec!) Thank you! @ladysalieri (we don't have a courtesan au specific comp but we do have a royalty one that includes a few! ^^ - Mod C)

FOUND! out to get you (to get you) by iliacquer (E, 41k, wangxian, graphic depictions of violence, switching, top/bottom LWJ, top/bottom WWX, power play, courtesan LWJ, assassin LWJ, dark lord WWX, bondage, happy ending, past slavery)

~*~

8. Hello i am looking for a fic where modern lwj time travels to the canon era and becomes original lwj, in the fic he is betrothed to yilling patriarch wy who sends him letters, and wy becomes more desperate and insane because lwj doesn't answers his letters. @ahiku-chan

FOUND? if this is a dream, i pray to never wake up by dangodangomilk (M, 27k, WangXian, Marriage, Weddings, Engagement, Canon Divergence, Parallel Universes, YLLZ WWX, false amnesia, Implied/Referenced Sex, Fluff and Angst, Sexual Content)

~*~

9. hello! i'm looking for a fic from lwj's pov. he runs into wwx (dark) in yiling i think, after burial mounds but before his new body. lwj is horrified by how bad he looks and convinces him to go to an inn (wwx mean), they have sex. during this lwj realizes that wwx's bones are all broken from his fall in the burial mounds and he is holding them stable with resentful energy. he can't heal them, but the resentful energy is working as a stopgap. possibly of it's own volition? bittersweet? thx! @saydams

~*~

10. Hello!! I love this blog, where I find fics to read!! A few days ago, I asked someone to find me a fic, but I'm here again because I remembered med and another fic that I loved reading, but currently can't find.

The things I remember: Wangxian has an spiritual connection, which is why the golden core transfer does not occur (and it is qing who informs Wei Ying of the connection, as Madam Yu knew and gave tea to undo the connection but it did not work ) and if I'm not mistaken Yanli is the one who told Wei Ying that the spiritual connection no longer exists (which is obviously wrong)

If you can't find it, I ask you to recommend something similar.

Thank you ❤💛🖤 @sweettiebah

FOUND! Half of my soul by Asphodel_Meadow (T, 8k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, No Golden Core Transfer, Fix-It, 5+1 Things, kinda soul bond but with their golden cores, POV Outsider, POV Alternating)

~*~

11. Hi, im looking for a fic where when Wei Wuxian was dead others tried to flirt with Lan Wangji. I remember one of the scenes where Shizui was walking to the jingshi and overherd someone (a cousin of Lan Jingyi?) trying to flirt with Lan Wangji. I think it was a 5+1 type of deal. No matter the way i word it, i cant find it. I`ve been looking on and off for months. @herebedragons02

FOUND? Criteria by incendir (T, 10k, LSZ & LWJ, WangXian) Criteria from the Resolutions series! I've reread ot enough to know that description on site

~*~

12. I hope you don't mind me asking, i'm looking for a wangxian fic where there is a scene that takes place in the cloud recesses where jiang cheng injures nie huaisang and nie mingjue almost declares war on the jiang sect. Thats as much as i remember I hope it's enough to go on. If it helps any it was either a Jiang Cheng bashing fic or a Jiang Family bashing. / Hi i'm looking for a Jiang Cheng or Jiang Family Bashing fic (can't remember which it was) where Nie Huaisang gets severely injured by Jiang Cheng and Nie Mingjue almost declares war on the Jiang Sect. Thank you. @hanabichan2018

FOUND? Ad Oblivione by Baph, HikariNoHimeWriter (M, 70k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Temporary Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, POV Multiple, Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Identity Reveal, Golden Core Reveal, Cultivation World Critical, Not JC Friendly, Abusive YZY, Angst with a Happy Ending)

FOUND? A Future Family In A Broken Past by Hauntcats (T, 121k, wangxian, Not JIang Family Friendly, Not Cultivation World Friendly, WWX Needs a Hug, Family Dynamics, What is a good family?, Fear of emotions does not excuse abuse, Not Jiang Clan Friendly, Angst with a Happy Ending, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon Divergence, LXC needs a hug, Everyone Needs A Hug, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Not YZY Friendly)

~*~

13. Hello I’ve been looking for this fic but I cannot find it I remember seeing it before it’s where in order to survive the burial mounds WY exchanges his heart which changes how he acts and then at the end JC, JYL, LWJ and NH decide to go to the burial mounds to see what happened to WY

FOUND?🔒 between the shadow and the soul by Reverie (cl410) (M, 22k, wangxian, JYL/WQ, JC/NHS, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Family, Dark WWX, Feral WWX, Memory Loss, Magic, Magical Realism, Protective LWJ, Protective JC, Protective JYL, Grief, BAMF WWX, POV Alternating)

~*~

14. Hi! For next fic finder, could you help me find a modern wangxian au with combination of arranged marriage, marriage of convenient (i think it is), and contract marriage. YZY arranged a marriage between WWX and LWJ for a bussiness cooperation. WWX agreed to that so he can get away from the Jiang (especially YZY) and to make his own carrier. Then LWJ and WWX make a contract to make the marriage last until 2 years and decided if they want to keep the marriage or not. I think LWJ playing his guqin and WWX is used to that and when 2 years almost up, WWX didnt want to get divorce. The fic is focused about them getting to know each other. I think thats all i can remember. I read that in 2021 so the detail is kinda patchy. If you dont know the fic at least a confirmation that im not the only one that ever read this. Thank you! @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

Hi, im #14. Unfortunately its not the fic that iam searching for. The one that iam serching for focused on wangxian, other characters barely appears. Even the jiangs only gets mentioned. Wwx didnt work for Jiang, i think he is graphic design freelancer? The agrement for divorce is between the two of them, their family didnt know about their agreement. They choose how long they stay together before divorce after they think that the project between their family is finished so their divorce wont effect the project. WWX even has a plan after their divorce to open his own office. If i remember corectly, WWX realize he didnt want to get divorced is a few days before the day of their divorce. Like he is in his room and thinking that after their divorce, he cant listening to LWJ playing his guqin and spend their days together and he didnt want that.

I really hope i didnt mix several fic together. Thank you!

NOT FOUND! you're the only thing i think i got right by sandustorms (lucianclouds) (M, 48k, wangxian, Arranged Marriage, Falling In Love, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Domestic, Married Life, Eventual Smut, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, do you remember that fake reddit post abt the guy that fell for his husband, that he was arranged to be married to, that was kind of what inspired this, Happy Ending, Modern, Strangers to Lovers, Romance)

~*~

15. Hello Mods, hope you are having a good day (^ ω ^)

This is for the fic finder and I'm not quite sure about this so just to be safe I don't want to upset anyone so

Trigger Warning! Trigger Warning! Trigger Warning!

This is what I remember: WWX is roofied or SA'ed in the Cloud Recesses ( I don't remember if that is shown) and there's a lot about how he handle it (denial? minimizing? disassociation?), and LWJ is there, he didn't do it, he is good, and anti-victim-blaming? if that makes sense?

FOUND? obscura: ink stain by AvoOwO (M, 20k, wangxian, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Canon Divergence, Emotions, Heavy Angst, Painting, Temporary Amnesia, Drugs, Drug Use, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Date Rape Drug/Roofies, Drink Spiking, Victim Blaming, LWJ Has Feelings, LWJ Has a Crush, Soft wangxian, Holding Hands, Blood and Violence, Good Sibling JC, Protective JC, WWX is a Mess, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Politics, Protective LXC, Good Sibling LXC, Good Uncle LQR, LQR Tries, OCs, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, WWX Needs a Hug, someone gets punched a lot, LWJ contemplates murder for a moment, JC almost gets it done, not quite about romance, as much as romance elements there, more so about the small things, LWJ loves how WWX smells, some nasty things are said, WWX def needs a nap, he gets one dw, LQR Gets Shit Done, NHS Is A Little Shit, Scheming NHS)

~*~

16. Hi! For fic finder, I am looking for a short-ish fic where Jin Ling learns that Wei Wuxian is the one who named him “Rulan.” Jin Ling then realizes he is named after the Lans, and he has a teenage meltdown about how he is named after his uncle’s crush. Does this sound familiar? Thank you, everyone, for all your help! @gloriousclotpole

FOUND! three days gone by occultings (microcomets) (G, 4k, JL & WWX, WangXian, Post-Canon, Family Bonding, Homophobic Language, Fluff) there may be a few fics that fit, is it maybe the one where jin ling and jiang cheng are reading sect letters together, and jin ling got mad about being called "rulan"? so far i found another fic, ig it's "similar" since jin ling's only mad for one sentence, but i thought to link it anyway

~*~

17. Hi! I'm looking for a fic, but i only remember a specific scene from it: wwx and the wens on the horses and it's raining and lan zhan lets them go, but then i guess granny wen says go back and get him, and when they return, lan zhan is soaking wet and she says something along the lines of 'dramatic young people'. Thank you so much!

FOUND? Turn Around by mondengel (Not rated, <1k, wangxian, humor)

~*~

18. Hi, I'm looking for an AU WIP fic where WWX has to wear a mask; nobody but family is allowed to see his face. He and LWJ have an arranged marriage, but LWJ still refuses to let him take his mask off, and doesn't make any effort in the marriage. Very soon after they are married, he takes Wen Qing as a concubine, without explaining anything to WWX. WWX moves to a house near Lotus Pier, and there is a bit about him adopting children, but I can't remember how that came about... Thank you! @godiva696

FOUND! Sounds like the deleted "A price to pay" by wangxianist.

Not FOUND! sounds sorta like shana's identity porn fic here on tumblr

~*~

19. Hello! 😃 I hope you can help me find this fic that I have been looking for!

I only remember that Wei Wuxian gets reunited with the sect leader of the Yu sect,(she is basically his grandma I think) and he get very emotional, it is also at a discussion conference or something like that, it is a very sweet/happy scene.

thank you 😊

NOT FOUND!🔒补救; to remedy, to do something to correct or improve something that is wrong by ravenditefairylights (G, 21k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Fluff and Angst, Healing, JC & WWX Reconciliation, Getting Together, Everybody Gets Their Shit Together, Family Feels, Teacher WWX, Soft WWX, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Crying, Marriage Proposal, Assassination Attempt(s), Family Bonding, soup as a metaphor, Meishan as a metaphor, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Feels, Forgiveness, BAMF WWX, Assassin WWX) i'm not positive this is it, but has a scene like that

Not FOUND And Time Is But a Paper Moon by sami (M, 139k, WangXian, XiChengQing, Time Travel, Fix-It, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Healing, Mental Health Issues, PTSD, Hurt/Comfort, Depression, BAMF WWX, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ, BAMF JYL, Getting Together) has a wwx-Sect Leader Yu relationship a bit like that? They meet up in Meishan, though, it's not a conference

Not FOUND The Housewife's Guide to Causing Chaos by dvasva (M, 127k, WIP, WangXian, Canon-Typical Violence, Functionally Trans Character, Mild Sexual Content, Domestic Fluff, Love Confessions, Transphobia, Good Parents LWJ and WWX, Pining, WWX is a Tease, Grief/Mourning, Body Dysphoria, Fake Marriage, Canonical Character Death, Misunderstandings, Doting LWJ, Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage, WWX is not in MXY's body, Misgendering, Mild Angst, Assumptions, Comedic Elements, non-sexual nudity, Blood, Discussion of Various Bodily Functions, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans, 4 years of mourning instead of 13, Méishān Yú Sect, POV Multiple, Corporal Punishment, Trans WWX, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, pregnancy mention, Timeline What Timeline, Sexual Harassment Threats) has wwx summoned by an OC Yu cousin instead of mxy, so there is some wwx-Yu sect interactions in the story. I don't remember it being particularly sweet or happy, but the setting is a conference

Not FOUND Moments of Revelation by meyari (T, 133k, ChengSang, WangXian, XiYao, POV JC, Canon Divergence, Temporary Character Death, Character Death, not anyone we care about, Time Travel Fix-It, Self-Sacrifice, Torture, Chronic Pain, Chronic anxiety, magical healing and how it fails, Grief/Mourning, PTSD, Chronic Mental Health Issues, Assassination, renamed my, Families of Choice, Original Supporting characters, Unreliable Narrator(s), Demonic Possession) last suggestion, and this probably isn't it, but it has a lot of Yunmeng Trio & Yu sect interactions (mostly Jiang Cheng centric, but wwx is there too lol)

FOUND! Twelve Moons and a Fortnight by stiltonbasket (M, 290k, WangXian, Humor, Slow Burn, Post-Canon Fix-It, Long-Distance Relationship, Epistolary, Love Letters, Family Feels, a-qing lives, teenage romance, Adoption, Romantic Comedy, Happy Ending, Weddings, Case Fic, Parenthood, Politics) the reunion scene is on ch31

~*~

20. Hello! I’m looking for a fic where during the Sunshot Campaign, Wei Wuxian was able to tame the Xuanwu, resulting in victory. However, he wasn’t fully able to control its bloodlust so it was sequestered onto an island in Lotus Pier.

However, he leaves one day for a brief visit to Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli, JGS paid a child to visit the island and the child is killed. This causes WWX to go with the Xuanwu into the water surrounding the island and he disappears for many years.

Later on, Jin Ling ends up trying to prove himself by going into the forest surrounding this island (which has since filled with resentful energy). And finds that WWX has come back and the Xuanwu has been purified.

I’m not sure if it’s been deleted??

FOUND? The Turtle Master by Gotcocomilk (M, 40k, wangxian, JC & WWX, JL & WWX, Eventual Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Temporary Character Death, Character Death Fix, shijie lives, Hurt/Comfort, OC Child death, zombie turtle!!, BAMF WWX, isnt he always, Fluff and Angst, first half is pain second half is soft)

~*~

[mecachrome]

What is the hype around jendo? I am trying to do research but I feel like they barely had any interactions?? Especially recently? Is there a primer or something cause I totally want to try to get into them!

OMGGGG well i wouldn't call myself a jendo expert or anything but i can briefly tell you why i like them!!! also soz for late reply 😭

tbh the very first thing that converted me was watching this interview forever ago because i remember being deeply intrigued by lando's demeanor + relative shyness + how hard he tried overall to appear Respectable and Mature in front of jense while answering his questions??? like the way jenson smiles at him during "are you happy?" "UMMM... kind of" wtheck T__T

jendo honestly have a lot of lore though! again i am not an expert but @cuthechicane has so many fantastic clips and gifsets if you're looking for interax that will rewire your brain chemistry ☝️ (the sheer giddinesssss of their miami interview 😭 also this is a classic moment). part of their thing is that they're both "somerset boys" (lando grew up in glastonbury / jenson is from frome) so that connection also kind of adds an extra layer to jenson having raced for mclaren / lando looking up to him and the general hero worship or cyclical nature of f1 that is palpable in their dynamic and a lot of other f1 agediff ships. ofc rossi was lando's real hero but... you know jenson is jenson

really though i think what i like most about jendo is how much jenson genuinely ADORES lando lmfao like their dynamic is so ridiculous but in a really absurdly sincere way!!! ofc it's super fun to go all in on the rancid age gap power imbalance vibes etc. and the way they flirt in public and fluster each other but jenson 100% RATES lando and hypes him up constantly to the point that it's almost embarrassing negl. lichr him going all in on lando like 4 hours ago... what's craziest to me is that he sincerely believes everyone else loves lando too like his brain can't comprehend the mere concept of someone not being obsessed with his favorite little british twink 😭 he's those innocent guys on reddit who still post comments like "lando is so nice it's impossible to hate him!!!" as if we're still in 2019 or something...... i want to live in that world

imo there's also an aspect to jendo where it's like...? jenson sees so much of himself in lando to the point of having preconceptions about lando's mentality that he projects onto him a bit which i think adds dimension to jenson's vulnerability but that goes into way more my own Meta and isn't really relevant to this post. but part of jenson's personality is that he is very charismatic and a natural speaker and also Usually Right so he loves to SAY shit and although he's not quite a nico-level professional shit stirrer he does kind of um... always speak like he knows something you don't. as evidenced by his time as lewis's teammate wherein he won the idgaf war by not acknowledging it going on in the first place. this is also why he and oscar should banter more because i feel like the comparisons between oscar and jenson are honestly so apt HLSDFH i have a jenson/oscar/lando post if that is of any interest

ok sorry i'm getting off-track but >>>all of that to me is why jendo is fun... jenson presents as very self-assured but if you do a psyche deep dive you realize he was quite sensitive growing up and Personally Victimized by briatore and has been quite open about his anxiety and the way f1 culture functioned at the time, and he's always been quite emotionally regulated but obviously there was... also a lot of glamour that accompanied that until later in his career LOL. so getting to explore those sides of him with a 20-something lando who very much mirrors him (self-reflective and sometimes overly critical and learning to live the "highly committed and industrious playboy" life) but also makes his façade crack in ways you don't often see is so fun & fascinating...!!! imo you can take them in a lot of different directions as a ship :3c

^ bonus bits i like from his book

[devilart2199-aibi]

Transformers Skybound Reading update: Issues 6 & 7!! 📚

As a Soundwave enjoyer, these were crazy. Thoughts and spoilers below ⤵️

I gotta say I feel like someone on the team likes Soundwave haha. This fella feels like he always gets the short end of the stick. Always incredibly efficient, loyal and quiet, but never rewarded. But in this one!! Soundwave steps up! I had to go over it a few times to just take it in and be like "Wow Soundwave really just did that?!?"

It kinda felt weird almost, like maybe we're getting too much from him? You know when a character usually occupies a quiet role and they work on something in the background (a scheme or something). Additionally him really caring for his Cassettes is something I love so much so getting that too, I almost feel spoiled! Or like maybe this is too good? Like something horrible is gonna happen?haha I dunno.

The panels too of Soundwave fighting Screamer and them all saying his name!! OOF!!! *Chefs kisses*!!

I loved this so much too T__T ahhhhh

Also I feel so bad for Thundercracker! He lost both his seeker bros T_T I kinda hope he finds out how Skywarp died actually and maybe goes on his own again like in IDW1.

Arcee being trained by magnus is a cool idea! Magnus always fluctuates in importance and age so much between interpretations!

She looks so adorable here. Poor baby T_T (also is she holding Magnus' hand?? 🥺)

And I was very happy to see Warpath for 1 second 😭 rip silly guy (also Kup)

I'm enjoying it so far! One thing that always gets me confused in Transformers series is just how much it takes for them to die? Like when should I be heartbroken or can they just be put back together? IDW1 eventually makes it pretty clear, but I'm still a bit confused with Skybound.

Some characters have gotten killed off and I'm just like "Dang... you too??" Starscream doesn't count because he's Starscream. You could put him in a blender, feed him to Unicron, have him poop him out and then be tossed in the dark universe and he'd still come back! Probably with a spiffy new paint job too!

Anyway the whole things with Sparkplug and the Matrix ehhhh I'm not sure what's going on? I get the a soul for a soul kinda thing, but I'm not sure how i feel about it 🤔well! I'll find out eventually! It's just different and interesting rn! 🤔

I have one more issue so I'll yap more then! What do you think so far?? Please no spoilers tho for the next issues! (8 onwards since I'm reading the physical releases!) I'm curious what your thoughts are!

[the-enzyme]

I first repainted my Ken Looks number 5, a bit longer than two years ago (around April 2022). I have been meaning to repaint him again for a while now, using the acrylics only method, of repainting 1:6 action figures. I am super happy I finally did it!

I already loved this Mattel Ken doll very much, but now I feel I am finally getting closer to what I was hoping, with my first repaint on him. I wanted him to look "scary," as that is my main goal with most of my male dolls. Intimidating, menacing type of scary, for the most part. I feel I have accomplished that this time. I always thought I gave him way massive eyes, on my first repaint on him. However, I feel like I probably did a cleaner job back in 2022, because my hands are growing shakier. I can see his lashes were cleaner, the whole eye area really. Sadly, I can't turn back time. I'm older, and my hands are indeed getting shakier with old age. T__T;;

Not like they weren't shaky already, but still, it stings to know it'll only get worse, because there's nothing, I can do to stop it! Repainting my own toys is a hobby I sincerely enjoy. I am super happy I learned I can use only acrylics, even if a little too late because my hands shake like the dickens now! Of course, I already used acrylics for line work, but it's still huge old pain in the behind, that my hands are even shakier now!!!

Moving on, I am super happy with him (for now!), I still need to seal the work -- that's why it looks so shiny! I could always do a cleaner job here and there, yadda yadda, but I am happy with him and feel he's done for now. I'm including comparisons to my 2022 repaint on him, and also progress of this repaint, because I might need it later as quick refence! I wanted his chin smaller, it's the one part I am not a fan of, and the lips! I forgot about it in the two years I didn't feel like working on him. I did soften the chin a bit further this time, but I feel I can make it a lot less wide and just less "huge" in general. I am also not a fan of the lip shape, but I am not sure how I want to tackle that. I feel once I reduce the chin to my liking (later on), I'll be able to see what I want to do with the lips. I'm particularly not a fan of how they sculpted the lower-lip.... paint does help a little, but I am still not sold on either the chin nor the lips. DX

[sixosix]

recent chap made me even more sus on rosalie LMAOOO

six istg if rosalie turns out to be a fatui and is tasked by arlecchino to look after mc bc idk maybe she got bigger plans for her(idk)

bc how tf did lyney know her address and was able to send in the polearm?? (unless if he stalked mc home...) and that hooded figure? im like 69%sure that that was father... and rosalie wasnt even like fazed by it like 'oh y'know,just a normal day-to-day mysterious hooded customer who wants to buy flowers🥰'. i still love rosalie tho, live laugh love rosalie💋❤️

(im cooking sumn rn so expect a sketch from the recent ch bc ilysm. also, HAPI NWE YIER YIPPIE !!!!)

HAPPY NEW YEAR AKAGIIIII

hehehhehfe i feel like saying anything will spoil everything but just know that i love rosalie with my whole heart. and the package thing will be explained in the next chap anyway HEEHEEE LOVE U TY FOR READING

OMGG IDKJHKFG IM SO EXCITED im still reeling from that recent lyney fanart u posted that was so cute.... T__T i cant wait raaaaggh

[corpsentry]

SORRY i keep coming here to yell !! you got me thinking about cdramas (& t dramas) i enjoyed and then forgot about :"] i watched 如果奔跑是我的人生 earlier this year and the ending lost me, but i was quite captivated by its 20+ episodes before. it centres around parental relationships (asian) and, i don't know much about dance at all but a main character is a dancer and her story made me feel things. the performances were sick, in my unprofessional opinion! I'm Fine is a gorgeous ost track. btw.... i've started rewatching 不良执念清除师 again and i CANNOT RECOMMEND IT HIGHLY ENOUGH. i've been thinking about it (on ep 5 LOL) and i actually don't think the ending dropped the thread or ball or 链子 or however that saying goes (im fever SORRY.... i think it was cathartic and beautiful in the way a galaxy is— i just could not get enough of those guys T__T 不良执念清除师 is about sulky teen (??) guys moving through the world with so much heart. it's about LOVE and ART and how the living go on after tragedy, it's about how. how (PARDON ME....) we get to keep everything we've ever loved for even a fraction of a moment & what we are doing is worthwhile even if it is very small !!!!! it is a show that is, in Voice from IMBD's words, an outstanding Taiwanese drama that excels in every aspect, because it was made with so much care and love...(meta!) also, gay people

first of all No Apology thank you for coming to yell!!! you have a big heart full of love for the world and it moves me!!!! i went down this rabbit hole on m*dramalist after watching 我们的少女时代/our times (2015)-

(tangent incoming) this movie Shook the secondary 2 scene in singapore when it came out everyone and their dog was sobbing about it and i listened to 小幸运 Religiously despite never seeing it myself. Having Seen It Now, it is a sweet little thing and it makes me feel desperately old. it also made me CRY, what can i say i’m a sucker for distances and ships passing in the night and i was soooo happy when liudehua appeared and then adult xutaiyu showed up and he Fuck Ass Hair. my lord, his hair looked like SHIT. PICKLED SEAWEED……… i couldn’t cry after that because i was so busy clenching my asscheeks out of sheer despair FUCK HAIR AND. AND!!! A TOO SHORT BLACK BLAZER ON SKINNY JEANS??? I MEAN REALLY??? I KNOW 2015 WAS NINE YEARS AGO but i don’t recall fuckass hair being the in thing then…. this memory i do not have…. you have to understand how emotionally devastating this was to me…… (tangent end)

(tangent part 2) (please look at the way they styled this poor man’s fuck ass hair. i don’t care how earth shatteringly sweet they were in high school if my first love turned up ten years later and he looked like this i would simply walk away)

(tangent end)

the point is, that i then went through vivian sung’s acting history to see what else she’d been in bc she was soooooo lovely and realized that 不良执念清除师 was in said history and then remembered this ask! and your heartfelt words about its story! and i was like Oghey, i watch—

just finished the first episode and mein gott yiyong is such a Teenager…… man i look at 18 year olds and i’m like i don’t remember being like that but i Know i must’ve been, once upon a time. but the range of emotions the script wrung out of him in one episode was kind of insane and his actor is kind of vibey as hell (perhaps this is my sign from god to finally watch your name engraved herein…) and vivian sung is still epic as hell and sooo goofy and i’m excited! i think of u in my head for some reason as the epic tight as hell short chinese dramas anon, i Trust your eyes. they’re good eyes. i’ve also locked down the first 20+ episodes of the other drama you mention here, especially because yang chao yue is in it and she was Breathtaking in the double T T T thank you for the recs! where do you find all of these? i don’t know but you must be doing good out in the world. be well anon. meet a chicken

[hyuckmov]

okay HERE I AM !! i finally had time to read pt.2 of rockstar hyuck … and let me tell you something … before reading it i was all happy and excited and all those things… once i reached the end of pt. 2 i was a crying MESS … LIKE GIRL ….. I SOBBED AND CRIED ALMOST FOR THE ENTIRE READING T__T . . like it was an emotional roller coaster for me … i was expecting many smut parts, instead you gave us something more , and i loved it so freaking much.

the part where he asked her to call him “donghyuck” had me bawling my eyes out in a pathetically way , like my pillow was wet bc of my tears !! … even the part where he was trying to braid his lil sister hair … oh my god i was so fucking devastated… like i was so sure that i would ended up “””hating””” on him once i would have finished reading part 2 ,, INSTEAD I LOVE HIM EVEN MORE ?? ( i don’t know if that’s a problem or not lmao, bc i wasn’t able to hate on him neither in part 1 so….. ) . . . like , i know that he behaved like an asshole , but i really can’t hate on him ?? especially on pt.2 ,, it looked like he was really sorry for what he did , and that he cared of y/n so much ?? all the attentions he gave to her when she was drunk , trying not to touch her etc.. my heart was throbbing . . . im so fucking soft , i want to cry once again … THIS FIC HAS MY WHOLE HEART ,, i can proudly say that you are my favorite writer on here … i really can’t wait to read pt.3 bc i miss rockstar hyuck already . . .

OMGG i wish i could give you my heart for few seconds just to let you understand how this fic makes me feel bc i am really going crazy .. anyway good luck for Uni and remember to stay healthy and happy all the time ♡ ♡

— 🐻‍❄️

ANON!!! thank u so so much for sending me this review 🥹🫂 i love hearing your thoughts and i cannot believe my fic gave u so many emotions!!!!

this part wasn’t heavy in smut because they have sooo much to work on and i’m so happy that the donghyuck/haechan thing + writing scenes in his pov worked for u 🥹 the end of part 1 really made him think about what she meant to him. he’s not a bad person at heart, and the role he plays in his personal life means he’s able to slip into taking care of her easily, but it’s the blurring of lines which also confuses and scares him. he still kind of has to pay for what he knowingly let happen to reader, and what he put her through, but i’m so happy that you can empathize with him and still love him 🥺🫶🏻 i am so so so honored to be your fav writer and i hope part 3 lives up to your expectations !!!!

thank you for relaying these thoughts and feelings to me, it really encourages me to keep writing and telling the story!!! thanks for wishing me well, hope you have a lovely rest this weekend and a great week ahead of that 💌💌

[ripcarrotchan]

ive been taking a while to write any thoughts about the ending bc overall my feelings about this show are positive and i want to be positive about it. i had a REALLY great time with it these last couple months!! but although i loved a lot of the scenes, i was. really. left feeling sort of tremendously sad and lonely by the ending.

and a large amount of that is bc of how much i was shipping jirotaro which. i mean. that's on me. it was on me for thinking they might make it canon and honestly they kind of did in ep11, for their past forms anyway, at least they heavily implied it.

but the emotional climax was with ed and catherine, and although i liked it, it felt unfair to me that we didn't get something similar for the characters we spent most of the series with? (i did love when goro was SAVED and he and saburo hugged in relief omg, that was so sweet, i was so happy he didn't disappear!! ;o;)

we had a lot of scenes in the ending that emphasized taro and jiro's connection with each other--taro stepping in to save jiro, taro always checking that jiro was okay, saving him when he fell, and that last meaningful look against the sunset. and it made me happy, but they never explained it. i would have been happy if they'd even shown a bit more of their history, just to explain how they knew each other despite taro being lowborn.

jiro said he would tell taro what he remembered, and i was expecting him to do it. taro went from not wanting to work and desperately throwing himself at anyone to valuing the time he spent with his coworkers and stepping up to protect jiro at the slightest danger and stand by whatever decision made jiro happy.

and then he just goes right back to chasing a career girl like he forgot everything, and they can't transform anymore so jiro is left stuck as a child with his hopeless jealousy?

boueibu had kinchan's apology to atsushi, resolving the tension that had been going on between them for the whole series. f-ran had homura's apology and uruu's forgiveness, also resolving the arc between them that lasted the whole series. i think i had reason to expect they would at least explain taro and jiro's dedication to each other, but it seems like they wanted so much for viewers to imagine their own ending that they reset everything back to square one as if nothing even happened, and i was really sad about that

anyway yeah i know jiro's age made the whole thing a bit creepy, but so was ed/catherine and they explained that by simply having catherine get older. they could've stayed in motarian forms and started rebuilding the civilization

instead it seems like the takeaway is that their relationship was in the past, but jiro still has unreciprocated feelings that he can't and shouldn't act on, and it just leaves me with all these heartbroken jiro feelings tbh T__T

oh well, i'll assume that if they find the other m continents, they can transform there ;;--;;

[evelynpr]

@firesign-18 @cheeseofmysteriousorigin FINE I'LL JOIN BUT I'M KINDA BASIC NGL. I'm not sure how many of these count is rare ships but here goes nothing I guess!!!

HatsuMelissa because of that TUM where they both redesign Deku's hero outfit THEN proceed to canonically work together for the next 8 years to do the same thing. I love how they have contrasting ideals for how to design, how they challenged each other but both high respect each other's works (Mei saving Melissa's suit while endangering herself was SO CUTE). Melissa is born and bred in a super high class high tech sci fi island with the best education, while Mei looks like she grew up shoving random junk together in a garage. I love the potential of two polar opposite genius STEM girlies.

ShojiKoda BECAUSE OF KODA HAVING A FLASHBACK OF HIS MOM SAYING THAT HER HUSBAND DID THE SAME THING FOR HER??? HELLO??? WHY HAS NO ONE PICKED THIS UP??? How Koda summoned all his courage to protect and defend Shoji during the final war, and looking up to him is just so so sweet and I think Shoji would adore someone as kind and caring as Koda to be by his side T__T. ITS JUST ADORABLE OKAY

TsukaToshi from reading Vigilantes because this detective is one of the few people who witnesses firsthand how All Might and Toshinori changes and grows throughout the whole series. How they have secret lunch dates together, sharing personal and government secrets, exchanging souvenir gifts, all while being their happiest and natural real selves- not a superhero or a detective just friends. Additionally Toshi admitted that hearing Naomasa call to him felt more personal, further driving him to save them??? Always side-by-side but never quite having the time just yet to settle down, but after the war they could finally relax more and maybe be happy together??? Come ON that's some good old man yaoi material right there!!!

HawksTwice purely for angst, not necessarily romantic. Twice was the friendliest and happiest guy in the LoV. I really believe that Hawks started to develop feelings for the LoV with how close and free they are together. Him being especially close to Twice because he saw through his mask of being a "chill and free guy", instead being someone trapped in a cage. Hawks seeking comfort with someone so "weird" but also so openly caring. These two also being direct parallels to tgck, Ochako choosing to understand and save Himiko while Hawks chose to kill Twice because its all he knew at the time...oh the peak tragedy of what could have been.

Not really rarepairs, but old stuff I used to ship too since I'm a massive multishipper:

I was a big Todomomo fan because my younger bisexual heart found them so cute and pretty together. I saw a lot of myself in Momo when I was younger and Shoto believing in Momo made me so so giddy! I also liked Inatodo too because it was hilarious from just how much they contrasted each other.

Like firesign I was lowkey a kacchako stan too because of how they challenged each other. Their fight was genuinely life changing to me as a kid, and I still love it to this day. I do personally see Kats as homosexual tho, but him leaning in different ways is also cool to me.

Krbk being into each other but never properly dating, Rodydeku LDR after movie 3, Shoto having a crush on Izuku, Jiro being confused abt both Momo and Denki, and other little silly things like these are also really fun to me.

Miritama and Erasermic are also my comfort ships because...they're basically almost canon to me atp even if they technically aren't. Like, yeah these guys have loved each other for a long time now. They're always together in their biggest highs and lows. They make out, share an apartment , and think about each other all the time. It's developed, beautiful, and natural I love it.

The last ask you got made me curious! I obviously know (or at least have a decent sense of) the main MHA ships of yours from ISYH. But I want to know: what are your *rare* MHA ships? Who do you ship that you don't see many other people shipping?

Ooooh fun question!!

Writing it made me enjoy Nejire x Ochako quite a lot but there is virtually nothing out there pairing them - to be honest, in AUs where Himiko doesn’t exist (weep, howl, rage at the moon) I can get behind most people x Ochako (I just want my girl to be happy). For yuri Mina and her make heaps of sense (and much as it’s not a rare pair I’m also a bit of a kacchako stan 🫣).

Like you and I were discussing kinda liking Izuku x Kendo’s dynamic too, even if it’s barely in my fic. Momo x Kendo are also fun, but is that a proper rare pair? 🤔

My lil one shot loml (which is probably going to become more than a one shot) has Tsu x Kinori and they are cottagecore perfection 🥰

All Might x Inko is also kind of adorable!

…what about you??

[hyunverse]

hi my lovely rin 💗💗 i missed u sm :( OOO YAY no classes !!!! that’s awesome i hope you can relax a bit <33

omggggg you got such good pulls 😩 finger heart seungmin 🥲 i swear theres a hyunjin pc curse bc i feel like no one ever gets him :( ive gotten a pc and polaroid of his but i think that’s it ?? i think a mini poster as well but i can’t remember. my last album was literally all felix except for my mini poster LOL (that was suengmin and he looked so cute). my first minho pull i almost cried </3 he just looked so beautiful i couldn’t be sane

it was so random!!!!! i don’t even remember why he did ?? but if it happened irl i would def not be complaining 😇 that man’s back is one of the most attractive ones i’ve ever seen LMAO

YOU HAVE SUCH A PRETTY LANGUAGEEEE !!! and even prettier heart than mine <3333 that’s so cool tho ty for telling me ^_^. i hope your assignments don’t stress you out too much and i’m sorry you’re not doing well :(( if you need anything i’m here and make sure you take lots of breaks <333 hearts hearts hearts 💗💗💗💗💗💗 ily <33

- 🐈‍⬛

hii my angel love, i missed you so much too <3 hehe i'm having a blast cooking alone in the house. it gets hectic living with 7 other people, so some hours of quietness is nice.

RIGHT hyune pcs are quite rare, and expensive too. i think i have a felix curse. every single album i bought, i've pulled him T__T don't get me wrong i love lix but i NEED hyune </3 HEHE I WAS SO HAPPY TO GET SEUNGMO!! love him so so much <3333 LMAOO ALMOST CRIED?? I WOULD CRY IF I GET HYUNE IM SO SRS...

ure so right chan has such a nice back. its the back dimples im telling u!!! also i know we've established this, but jeongin has nice fingers. and jisung has such a nice waist.

hehe yeah, malay is pretty! though quite hard sometimes. i'm taking a malay linguistic course this semester and i'm telling u, it's a struggle. thank you so much for the reminder my love, remind yourself that too >:( u need rest!!

how's the hyune fluff ure writing going? AAA IM SO EXCITED ^__^ i am currently writing ot8 headcanons. i shud sleep but i have so many ideas rn hehe.

sending u warm cuddles and love <333

[scurvgirl]

[restinpeacesensei]

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

SEL…… T__T the way i would literally die for you. i really wanna take the time to thank u properly so this might get long shjdihisu i dont wanna clog up ur inbox so!!! ill just write it here. hopefully u can see it and tumblr doesnt eat up your notifs too :’3 im so sorry u had to write all of this TWICE thats awful, tysm for taking the time…… :’’3

FIRST OF ALL i love you…… im picking u up and spinning u around. youre so sweet!!!!! i cant wait to return the favor once i get the time to binge col hehe >:3 but honestlyyy thank you!! i was sobbing while reading all you wrote aaa ur too kind!! <333

it was so fun seeing all the lines you liked!!! im so happy u thought ”decisive slice of heaven” was pretty🥺🥺u said so many sweet things abt my writing…. tysm <3 😭😭 ur so attentive to how people write, its honestly so admirable!!! <33 i was reading all ur comments like this

im also so relieved you enjoyed my take on gojo’s death bc like…. it hurt me so bad to write but i dont think it felt very awful for gojo at all????? he just looks so at PEACE in that one panel that im like… okay. im fine. totally not falling to my knees thinking abt how he looks more at peace dying than we’ve ever seen him….……… 🥲🥲 i really wanted to show that feeling of resignation/peace/relief(?) that i think he prolly felt, along with the not-exactly-fear-but-similar that even he cant avoid feeling. so its such a relief that it came across well !!

im so honoured you think the character writing is accurate too…. u have no idea how happy that makes me!!!!!!!!! fr!! i love being delusional n self-indulgent in the way i write characters, but w/ this specific fic i really wanted to capture at least a lil bit of canon gojo and geto so!!!! im just so happy that you thought it felt real !! <33

and sel🥺🥺🥺🥺everything u wrote for the stsg dialogue….🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺u almost made me cry spdnhxhdjd thank u!! sm??!!!! im genuinely sooo ecstatic that it resonated with u <333 im a stsg enjoyer at heart so i really wanted to do them justice, their interactions in 236 absolutely RUINED me sel… its so insane to me how genuine gojo feels whenever he talks to suguru yknow?? like thats his BESTIE and i feel like he’s also the only person gojo feels comfy being weak around…. theyre so special to me sob!!! im so insanely happy that you enjoyed their interactions :’))

and i agree with u sm!!! i think the question of gojo’s wants & happiness is so INTERESTING to explore n ultimately i always end up with just. him wanting a slice of normalcy. just little things like buying ice cream with his friends in high school, taking his students to the movies, going to a bar with shoko and nanami... etc etc. i just feel like those tiny moments are what gojo treasures most in the world

my heart aches sososo much at the airport scene because it really feels like he’s envisioning a dreamlike scenario where he gets all that he wants, and thats…. just his youth back. just being able to laugh with his best friend again. and its such a small wish but that makes it so heartbreaking to me sel :’3 he wants so LITTLE and he cant have it bc his entire existence just encompasses so much…

aaa im so happy that you mentioned the whole god/human thing too!! gojo as a character is so fascinating to me bc he just boils down to this idea of like…. what if we took a random boy and made him into a god? what if we gave him so much strenght that he’ll never quite be seen as human by the world? will that boy be able to live and still love others, even though they’ll never reach him? and i think akutami’s way of writing that is SO good. it also ties into how similar he is to figures like the buddha, or generally just mythological heroes and stuff. he’s so tragic and good, and also undeniably human, and that’s like… his one great weakness. which is heartbreaking!!

aaa and it means sm coming from u too!!! ur gojo feels so so human and real to me, it was the first thing i thought when i read ur fics!! like you really capture his more vulnerable subconscious and that part of him thats soo human even though he might try to hide it and its just. heart wrenching to me 😭😭 he feels so genuine to me

AND SEL….. ur so so RIGHT about gojo. like you get him so well. it makes me wanna ramble so bad bc everything you said is just so TRUE. the way everyone needs him, the world needs him, and he CHOOSES to bear that weight even though he could just throw it away… he could easily run away and let everything go to hell but he doesnt, and thats so……… idk. it makes me insane. it just really shows his kindness n humanity, he isnt a saint or anything but he just… deals with sm and never complains T__T

AND HONESTLY THE WHOLE BINDING VOW THING….. ive been hoping for it to happen ever since the shinjuku fight started LMAO, i just think itd be the perfect end to gojo’s character arc!!! forcing him to live without that gift, and letting us see for ourselves if he still remains the same… and IF it really does happen (i still have hope lmaoo) i think we’re going to see that he will!! he may not be the strongest but nothing will change, he’ll still be our gojo :’3 

aaa overall i just wanna say tysm for writing this all out sel…. T__T twice at that!!! youre honestly so sweet im just. exploding rn LMAOO thank you for all ur kind words abt my writing n everything!!! it means sm!!! and thank u for taking the time to read it in the first place <33

oh my destiny, how far you have sprung now ; satoru gojo

synopsis; satoru gojo chooses north.

word count; 5.2k

contents; satoru gojo, canon divergence, HEAVY jjk spoilers (for chapter 236!! but also kinda 237), fix-it fic, me coping w/ the manga for 5k words straight, canon-typical violence and death, implied stsg, probably non-canon compliant use of binding vows (but do i care? no), gojo satoru lives.

a/n; yeaaa this is literally just me coping <3 needed to write this for my mental health. he’s fine guys trust me

the experience is not altogether unfamiliar, on its own.

he’s felt it before. even now, he can still vividly recall it; a girl he failed to protect, a boy he failed to save. a man with a scar on his bottom lip.

that sickening numbness, as he lied in a pool of his own blood. sticking to his hair and tattered clothes, the colour red flooding his subconscious. that cold, cold sensation — a jarring shift, chilling and ruthless, going from everything to nothing. tiptoeing the line between life and death. 

emptiness. sinking deeper into the abyss, that all-enveloping darkness. that awful feeling of pure helplessness.

he could never forget it.

back then, though, gojo is certain he didn’t feel this way. all he could think about twelve years ago was survival — clinging to the weak flutter of his heart, a dying butterfly. clawing his way up to the skies. anything to escape that harrowing sensation, a kind of desperation all humans feel in the face of certain death, spurring him on. but now —

he almost welcomes it. nearly content in its approach. it should frighten him, but it doesn’t.

through half-lidded eyes, vision blurred by sweat and blood and dust, gojo watches the sky.

it's beautiful, he thinks. as beautiful as ever. peaceful, unchanging, soothing in an eerie kind of way. that clear blue, fading a little at the corners as his muddled mind grows just a little darker, a little more fatigued. he can barely gather the strength to keep his eyelids open. 

yet he keeps his gaze on that endless sky, as if it’s all he’s ever known.

with every passing second, the world grows just a little more blurry. pale dots spread around the corners of his vision, like grains of stardust in an ever-expanding cosmos, clouding his senses. there’s a buzzing in his head that won’t go away. everything looks as if it's spinning, and he can barely tell left from right, north from south. everything is growing darker, so fast that it’s alarming, and gojo can’t seem to even think clearly.

but he can still see that blue, blue sky. bluer than he ever remembers it being. even as snow begins to fall, descending upon shinjuku as if bidding him farewell. the sky takes on a gray hue, but that shade of blue is still all gojo can see, as he takes shallow breaths and half-heartedly attempts to remain conscious. willing himself not to give in just yet, choking on his own blood. 

and it's an odd feeling, really. one he never thought he'd meet again, but here it is, it's back — and it's all-consuming. beckoning him into a place he’s never been before. the unknown. 

it's not scary. gojo doesn’t think he has it in him to feel fear, anymore. but it's a strange sensation, as death kisses its way up his neck, sending shivers down his spine; as the numbness spreads, devouring him whole.

it’s unknown. thoroughly and wholly. and that unknown is overwhelming, all-encompassing, it’s all he can see before him, it's —

ah.

gojo takes a deep breath. the air burns his lungs.

everything's ending, isn't it?

it would be so easy. to simply close his eyes, let them flutter shut as that all-encompassing sensation takes him down to earth. to allow himself to simply rest, for a moment. wouldn’t that be nice?

it would be so easy.

gojo watches the sky. it's all he can do. 

the numbness keeps spreading throughout every cell of his body. he can barely feel the blood trickling down his chin, or the harsh bite of the winter cold, his skin buzzing with ache. he can't feel his arms or his legs, and he knows exactly why. everything in the world is closing in on him and god, he just feels so fucking tired.

ah. ah. more darkness. more numbness.

everything and nothing, all at once. slipping away into oblivion. the snow keeps falling but he can't see anything, can't hear anything, can't feel anything, anything at all.

nothing. nothing. less than nothing.

— and then, suddenly, an airport.

"yo."

gojo blinks.

a boy. a boy with black hair, tied into a small bun. a dead boy. his best friend.

suguru stands before him, and he looks exactly the same as gojo remembers. young, bright, with those awkward bangs still hanging over his face. grinning boyishly, and greeting him with youthful cheer. 

gojo feels young, too, he realizes — the weight on his shoulders a little less heavy, the familiar black of his sunglasses obscuring his vision. but he can still see the flicker of suguru’s cursed energy clear as day. as if he never left.

feigning a mild displeasure, gojo makes a face. he hears himself speak, but his mind and six eyes continue to spin in circles, trying to comprehend the sight in front of him. trying to make it understandable, figure out what’s going on. 

but he doesn’t succeed. because it’s impossible to understand. and, really, that’s answer enough. 

huh.

so this is what the afterlife is like?

he inhales through his nose, basking in the clear air, and it doesn’t burn his lungs. his chest feels lighter than it’s been in years.

that seems a little too good to be true. 

"you’re kidding me. this sucks.”

suguru makes a kind of face like he’s pouting, plopping down in the seat right next to gojo’s. the white haired boy stretches his limbs out and huffs, pretending the sight in front of him doesn't send a tremor running through his very soul.

suguru continues to speak and gojo continues to listen, all while observing the scenery in front of him.

the airport looks familiar. through the glass windows he can see a glimmer of the blue sky, and a plane waiting to take flight into the clouds. the air smells of summer and jet fuel and new beginnings. it’s pleasantly cool, a light breeze caressing his skin and coaxing a hum from the confines of his throat. 

(he remembers this airport. remembers having his arms full of vending machine snacks, trailing after suguru as he dealt with all the annoying technicalities. amanai was there, too, watching a plane soar up into the sky with childlike wonder. a little anxious, as she boarded the plane to okinawa, and then back to tokyo.

her first and last flight.)

suguru is there, right next to him, and he’s speaking. breathing. like something out of a dream, the kind that always haunts gojo in his sleep.

he breathes in, and then out. 

suguru is there. and not just him – nanami and haibara are, too. all young, all dead. all somehow breathing; he sees them inhale and he sees them exhale. he hears them speak and it’s like nothing ever changed. 

they speak of regrets, of south and of north. nanami doesn’t seem to regret a single thing, and gojo is glad. even yaga is there, he notices belatedly. even amanai, and her maid, and a certain man with a scar on his bottom lip. everyone all together again.

the airport buzzes with warmth. nostalgia, as suguru’s laughter rings in his ears. and gojo grins, in tandem, bright and childlike. wallowing in the tender atmosphere. 

the sight in front of his eyes is perfect, he thinks. absolutely perfect. a glimmer of spring, one he never quite managed to forget. a vibrant flicker of blue, one he thought he’d lost forever.

his one and only blue spring of youth, right in front of his all-seeing eyes.

a little too good to be true.

with a sigh, gojo stretches idly, smiling a little to himself. his joints don’t ache, his head isn’t buzzing with fatigue, and his heart feels lighter than it's been in recent memory. 

“now i’m hoping this isn’t a dream,” he hears himself mutter, allowing his eyes to flutter shut at last. he can still see suguru’s cursed energy, and everyone else’s. he isn’t alone. what a nice thought. 

and it’s strange, gojo thinks. it really is. he’s dead. sukuna killed him. he’s dead, his remains are lying somewhere in the streets of shinjuku, and that should bother him. he should be punching the floor and screaming, cursing sukuna’s name with every fiber of his being — it should frighten him, the realization that everything has ended.

but it doesn’t. 

gojo isn’t afraid. and he isn’t upset, either. he bears no grudge against anyone, just like that day twelve years ago.

he’s with suguru, now, and his juniors. his old teacher. the people he cares for are with him, and the airport smells so nice. everyone is young, and happy, and none of them will ever have to kill or be killed again. 

calling it anything less than heaven would be doing it a disservice. 

gojo smiles, exhaling a relieved breath. one he hadn’t realized he’d been holding til now, stuck in the back of his throat for the past decade. a tiny thought makes it to the forefront of his brain, like a spring breeze flitting in through an open window.

like this, he thinks, i could die with no regrets.

“— except that’s not true.” a voice proclaims. “is it?”

gojo opens his eyes.

suguru looks at him. everything goes silent. everyone else has already gone blurry, a little faded, as if they aren’t what’s really important. as if the entire world has narrowed down to just this; him, and suguru, in the corner of an airport too precious for words. that one decisive slice of heaven. 

suguru opens his mouth, and speaks, and his voice has a finality to it that fills gojo with a mellow kind of dread. 

they look into each other’s eyes, and both know what’s coming.

“the students are outclassed.” suguru rests his chin on the heel of his palm. ”you said it yourself — sukuna wasn’t giving it his all when he fought you. he still has more than a couple cards up his sleeve, doesn’t he? like his incarnation.”

gojo listens to suguru speak, not saying a word.

“they’re no match for him,” he continues, unperturbed. “all of them are going to die. every single one.”

suguru leans back in his chair, still looking straight into gojo’s eyes. seeing through him, gaze filled with a certain sharpness. a little cruel, but there’s a kindness there, too. as if he’s simply ripping the band-aid off, trying to make it as painless as possible. 

he clicks his tongue.

“and you still haven’t buried my body, either.”

a moment passes. then two.

gojo smiles to himself, rueful. a little saddened. 

“.. damn,” he grins, weakly. leaning back in his chair, slumping against the soft leather. “couldn’t you have kept indulging me for just a bit longer?”

suguru smiles. a soft thing, in the flicker of the light. a little too good to be true. “sorry,” he chimes. “but the plane is leaving soon.”

as if on cue, the pa system sounds.

flight to okinawa; departing in nineteen minutes.

“it hasn’t left, yet,” suguru hums, and it sounds like an inevitability. ringing in gojo’s ears. “you know what that means, don’t you?”

he does. he does, but it still hurts. gojo looks into suguru’s eyes, and sees himself reflected in them — young, transparent. blue. fading, but not quite faded. not quite dead.

and maybe it’s to be expected. maybe he was just trying to delude himself into believing the alternative, into believing that an afterlife as sweet as this could really be waiting for him. maybe it was naive, a childish fantasy. 

but still —

”haah.” a heavy exhale, fatigued. gojo slumps even further into his seat, squeezing his eyes shut. running a hand through the soft strands of his hair. ”oh, gimme a break. and here i thought i could finally relax for once.”

a chuckle flows from suguru’s lips, amused. ”you aren’t the type to go down like that,” he murmurs. ”c’mon, satoru. there are still things you need to do.”

”how?” gojo scoffs. ”i’m split in half. and i’m too exhausted to use my reverse cursed technique.”

”eh,” suguru shrugs. ”you’ll manage.”

gojo shoots him a dubious look. ”you’re acting like it’s a papercut,” he huffs, crossing his arms. ”my guts are on the fuckin’ pavement.”

”oh, quit your complaining already," suguru rolls his eyes, and shoots him an accusatory glance. "i died with a hole through my chest. at least your heart is still intact.”

the white haired boy gapes at him, offended. ”i wanted to make it painless for you!”

”well, it hurt like a bitch. so thanks for that.”

gojo pouts, fighting back a smile. he thinks suguru must be doing the same. and it’s juvenile, a little twisted — but then again, weren’t they always?

suguru cocks his head. beckoning gojo into taking action. ”you’ve still got some fight left in you,” he says, and there’s a fondness to it. ”you always do.”

”get up, satoru.”

silence. unbroken, unperturbed. if he focuses enough, he thinks he can hear the distant buzzing of cicadas, the crinkling of soda cans. the whistling of the wind. placebos; memories ghosting his subconscious. 

it’s quiet, for a while. gojo stares into space, blinking slowly. then he parts his lips.

”suguru.”

the boy in question turns towards him. but gojo looks up, instead — eyes set on the roof, like he’s trying to see beyond it. into the comfort of the blue sky. 

suguru hums, a cue for him to follow. and gojo closes his eyes.

”i think… i might be tired.”

silence. no one says a thing.

”i think i’d prefer to stay here,” he admits, a forlorn look in his eyes. tapping his fingers on his knee. ”in the past, like this.”

the scent of jet fuel and summer lies heavy in the air. gojo inhales it, greedy. as if savouring it. trying to make it a part of his being, filling his lungs with sweet nostalgia so it never goes away.

”we could just stay here. together,” he muses, barely above a whisper. there’s a kind of longing to the tilt of his voice, something soft. ”couldn’t we? never moving forward, or back.”

the words taste salty, on his tongue. an ocean breeze. a whisper. ”we could just stay like this.”

suguru’s gaze trails from satoru, down to his lap. his bangs follow the slow movement, silky strands falling over his eye. the chuckle that drifts from his lips doesn’t have much humour to it. 

”haha… you’ve never been the type to stay in one place for too long, satoru.”

gojo clenches his fist.

”you want me to go back,” he hears himself say, somewhat bitter. ”you want me to go back, and then what? there’s nothing i can do. i’m not the strongest, anymore.”

”you are.” suguru’s voice is firm, decisive. ”you can still win. you know exactly what you need to do. there’s only one way to get out of this.”

gojo sighs. one hand in his hair, tousling it. mildly frustrated. ”… it’s risky.”

”you’re bleeding out.”

”if i do this — i won’t ever be the same.” gojo turns to look at suguru. ”i sure as hell won’t be the strongest, anymore.”

”and would that be such a bad thing?”

silence. the two boys look at each other — one dead and one half-alive, both connected to the other. for eternity. suguru’s eyes are full of understanding, as they look into the blue of satoru’s. 

”there’s always been a gap between you and everyone else. that’s what you said, before. aren’t you tired of it?”

gojo closes his eyes.

that’s right. that aching gap. the solitude that comes with absolute strength — a weight he’s borne all his life. doomed never to connect with others, never to be understood. doomed to always live in the sky, far away from the earth and the ocean.

the title of the strongest. a cross he alone had to bear.

(did he ever really want it? or was he just resigned to it, conditioned from the very beginning?)

the feeling of isolation that’s been haunting him for decades seeps into his skin. the cruel knowledge that no one will ever truly know him; even worse, the knowledge that it’s all for the best. you can admire a flower, and help it bloom, but you can’t ask it to understand you.

such a cruel curse to be born with.

suguru’s voice fills his mind. the flicker of his cursed energy is gentle, like an ocean wave rolling in right before the sun sets. ”you said it yourself, satoru.” gojo can hear the smile in his voice. ”you love everyone.”

love. it always comes down to that, doesn't it? the greatest curse of them all.

(but he could never bring himself to fully throw it away.)

”there are still people waiting for you, out there,” suguru reminds him. and gojo knows that he’s right.

he still hasn’t buried suguru’s body. that thing is still inside his head, doing god knows what. and his students — they must be fighting sukuna, right now. if he’s lucky, no one’s dead yet. if he’s lucky. then there’s shoko, of course. and ijichi, everyone else from the school.

not just that — the world itself is waiting on him. waiting for him to pass on, so it can crumble away. waiting for him to make it, so he can stitch it back together. 

dying isn’t a luxury satoru gojo can afford. he knows that, he does, but —

dammit.

”suguru,” he starts, hesitant. voice more feeble than he ever remembers it sounding. ”what… should i do, from here on out?” a pause. uncertain. ”where should i go?”

suguru raises a single eyebrow, tilting his head. ”do you really need me to tell you that?” he asks, a little teasing. gojo’s reply is instantaneous.

”i do.”

the airport falls silent, again. 

”i’ll listen to you,” he elaborates, tapping the edge of his chair, absentmindedly. eyes shining with a glimmer of something tender. ”so… it has to be you.”

suguru inhales, softly. breathing out in a meek chuckle, with a soft shake of his head. ”well, in that case…”

a smile. he meets gojo’s gaze. ”then i think you should go north.”

gojo looks into his eyes. a moment passes, slow, detached from space and time. their eyes meet, and in suguru’s eyes, gojo sees a reflection of their youth.

what a shame.

”alrighty, then.”

placing his palms on his knees, gojo gets up from his seat. stretching his arms with a soft groan. a sigh flows from his lips, drifting out into the clear air. 

”so much for finally getting a vacation,” he huffs, frowning as he casts a jealous glance at his best friend. ”you dead people have it easy, you know that?”

suguru’s still smiling, but he’s not getting up from his seat. the pa system sounds, again. a little louder this time.

flight to okinawa; departing in six minutes.

a deep breath. air flows into his lungs, and then back out; soaking up the summer air he knows he’ll never quite get a taste of again.

suguru stays right where he is. young, dead. smiling. the same smile he wore when gojo killed him, framed by the setting sun. the same kind of sunset that’s beginning to form outside the translucent windows of the airport, nostalgic and sweet, dyeing the clouds in a soft pinkish hue.

it’s breathtaking. 

”will i see you?” gojo asks, before he can stop himself. eyes still stuck to the setting sun. ”when everything ends.”

…

suguru chuckles, again. rueful. gojo thinks it sounds just a bit meek, a little like he’s holding back tears. ”maybe,” he breathes, shrugging halfheartedly. not meeting his eyes. ”who knows?”

it’s not the answer gojo wants to hear. but he’ll take what he can get.

and finally, suguru gets up. slowly, methodically. elegant, in the way he moves, the way he brushes non-existent dust off his baggy pants. smiling, hair swaying softly with the breeze. gojo finds his gaze, and that smile shifts into a lazy grin. one so distinctly suguru that it can’t possibly be just a figment of his imagination. 

”don’t find out too soon,” he quips, teasingly. ”alright?”

a slap. gojo doesn’t see it coming, and it knocks him forward — he stumbles slightly, lanky legs moving clumsily, sunglasses falling off at the impact. his back stings, a little. 

over his shoulder, he looks back at suguru. the boy has a hand raised, and his grin is playful, brimming with warmth. except he’s no longer a boy — now he’s wearing traditional robes, hair much longer, face a little more hardened. but that grin is still the same as ever. gojo thinks he looks almost proud.

”go get ’em, satoru.”

gojo blinks.

the grin that breaks out across his lips, then, is wide. bright, brimming with youth, lighting up every corner of his face. almost overwhelmingly sweet. it envelops his very being, as he stands there, clad in his black compression shirt and baggy pants. hair a little less messy than it was in high school, face a little more hardened — but he hopes his grin, at least, looks the same as ever.

he turns his back on suguru, and puffs out his chest. trying to hide the sappy smile still lingering on his lips, the glassiness of his eyes. his voice comes out loud, cheery, echoing throughout the airport — but still somehow so tender.

”roger that!”

gojo looks ahead. the airport is blurred, a little hazy, but a bright light shines farther up ahead. a beacon for him to follow, one that blinds him if he looks at it for too long. blue, white, golden — the colours of the sky. beckoning him forward, to a familiar place.

he takes one step north.

”ah, satoru. one more thing.”

the sound of suguru’s voice stops him in his tracks. ”hm?” gojo turns on his heel, white hair tousled by the soft breeze. a little confused. ”what is it now?”

suguru grins. the whole airport smells like spring. 

”—, — —.”

…

one long, tender moment passes by. gojo doesn’t even breathe, mouth falling open slightly, in a way that must look comical to the man in front of him.

the airport glimmers like a marble in the sun. transparent, blurred, but still somehow so real. suguru’s words echo in his mind. 

then gojo laughs, the sound bubbling up from his throat like seafoam on a scorching summer day. hearty and deep, coaxed out from the very bottom of his gut — genuine. a little breathless. he can’t wipe away the grin on his face, wouldn’t do it even if he could. his blue eyes crinkle, as he looks at suguru, showing off his dimples and teeth.

”so corny,” he teases. suguru rolls his eyes.

”hey, don’t blame me. this is your imagination.”

a huff slips from his lips. ”yeah, yeah…” gojo waves him off. then he meets his eyes, again, still grinning boyishly. ”i’ll hold you to that, okay?”

”got it,” suguru chirps. ”good luck out there, satoru.”

”pssh. who do you think you’re talking to?”

the men exchange smiles, one final time. funny, how that’s always how their story ends; with a heartfelt smile. even if it’s coated in blood, or nothing more than a figment of their imagination.

then gojo turns around, again, and takes a step forward. not looking back this time. trusting suguru to still be there, watching over him. like always.

the bright light at the end of the airport glimmers, tantalizing, mesmerizing. suguru is right — there’s only one way to get out of this. only one way to make it back alive.

and it’s risky. very much so. it’s a gamble, the greatest one gojo’s ever made, even worse than that time twelve years ago with the reverse cursed technique. 

it’s a gamble, all or nothing.

binding vows are dangerous, fickle things. built on equivalent exchange. give something and get something, of equal value. sacrifice and gain. 

gojo’s thought about it, before. a morbid curiosity.

what could he possibly gain by offering the greatest treasure of the jujutsu world? 

he lifts one hand up, to caress his face. lingering over the skin of his eyelids, now closed. but he can still see the cursed energy around him. burned into his retinas. 

the six eyes. the blessing of sight.

a blessing. a blessing he never once asked for, one he was simply born with. born with all this power, doomed to live above the rest. all for a pair of eyes that never seem to see the things that really matter.

and, really, it’s a gamble.

gojo takes a deep breath, and then one large step forward.

(buddha left the royal life behind him at 29 years of age, he recalls. and then he sought out enlightenment.)

the light comes closer, and closer. lotus flowers bless his path. he takes seven steps forward, and his path blooms out before him; one flower blooming by his feet for every step he takes. seven steps north.

i’ll give you everything, he speaks to the someone watching the world. a god, a natural order, himself — it doesn’t really matter. i’ll give you all six. 

in exchange — 

the light is close, now. so close he can almost touch it. it burns his skin, but he doesn’t falter. he doesn’t look away, eyes seeing through the blindness and reaching out for something. something alive.

don’t let me die, he bargains. give me enough of it to kill him.

i still have things i need to do.

one more step, out of the airport —

(and satoru gojo makes a sacrifice.)

a binding vow is made.

the six eyes dissipate, like vapour drifting off into the darkness of a never-ending cosmos.

when gojo opens his eyes, he’s met with a cold, gray sky. 

the world shifts on its axis before him.

everything looks different. he can’t see, but he can, it’s just not the same as before. it’s naked, and raw, and surface-level. not enough to sink his teeth into.

he can still see cursed energy, feel the flicker of it all around him, but it’s hazy. it’s not clear enough, not enough for him to get a good grasp on — like the world lost its saturation. like everything got tilted slightly to the left. an eerie feeling that something isn’t as it should be.

and wow, okay. this is new.

but gojo parts his lips, weakly, and breathes in — and the air tastes the same as ever. cold, crispy. it fills his lungs and he exhales it through his nose. a human act. a breath of life.

i’m still alive.

it’s an odd feeling, like someone took a heavy weight off his shoulders. like someone stripped him of everything that makes him him. an strange sensation, heavy, entirely impossible to ignore. however —

the gain after the loss hits him almost immediately, embracing him with a burst of cursed energy so violently overwhelming that his sight becomes entirely irrelevant. it devours his very being.

everything becomes a blur. 

— i’ll give you everything. 

so, in exchange…

give me enough cursed energy to go on a good rampage.

the cursed energy within him spikes, so sudden and violent that gojo fears his skin might break open. buzzing like flies inside his veins, a vibrant burst of life, every colour in the universe. all the power one can expect from willingly casting away the greatest jewel of the jujutsu world.

gojo moves his fingers. he can feel them, finally — all limbs intact. positive cursed energy flows from his brain, no longer exhausted beyond comprehension. enough, more than enough to give him access to every possibility within his soul.

belatedly, he realizes that his sight isn’t the only thing that’s been weakened. the control he’s grown so used to having over his cursed energy is dwindling, and fast; that firm grip seems to have left with the six eyes, replaced by a set of shaky hands. gojo has experience, and for now, it’s enough. but he still has to concentrate to contain the nearly overwhelming flicker of his cursed energy, stinging his skin as if it can’t fully be contained by his body anymore. prickling his veins. it feels a little like trying to keep water from running through the gaps between your fingers. 

and he feels naked, in a way, suddenly living without something that defines his very being. a little hollowed out. a little wrong, like someone reached a hand through his ribs and pulled out his heart. 

but damn, does it feel good.

his cursed energy output is all-encompassing. his mind feels more clear than he ever remembers it being, and it’s like the world is at his fingertips. something similar to what he felt twelve years ago, but still so different. 

it isn’t ascension, not even close. quite the opposite. but that feeling of freedom is still so abundant. it’s all he can see before him; endless possibilities. 

twelve years ago, satoru gojo faced a certain man, and rose to the skies. he will never, ever forget it. that flicker of eternal solitude, the burst of overwhelming euphoria. that sense of everything being just right.

twelve years of living in the sky, and now his feet meet the ground, at last.

everything feels different. everything looks different. things won’t be the same, ever again — but maybe, suguru was right. maybe that’s not such an awful thing.

to be reborn. to be given a choice.

gojo opens his eyes, and finally takes in all the sights before him. everything happens in a blur, so fast he can barely catch up — his body acts before his mind, and suddenly he’s face to face with sukuna.

not megumi, but sukuna. fully incarnated.

and he looks displeased. almost frustrated.

”how?” 

the look of pure shock on his face is more satisfying than gojo could ever put into words; the satisfaction of seeing a king fall to his knees.

somewhere in the background, he thinks he hears a cacophony of voices, awfully familiar in a way that has warmth blooming in his chest. the students, he assumes — voices of shock, and something he tentatively recognizes as relief. but he doesn’t have the time to let his guard down, just yet.

(no matter how much he’d like to look back at them and give them a self-assured peace sign, bask in their smiling faces.)

instead, he answers sukuna. ”a binding vow,” he grins, and he thinks he must look a little manic, gesturing towards his eyes with his thumb. ”gave these puppies away. didn’t expect that, did’ya?”

sukuna looks at him, for a second.

then he laughs, loud and ugly, grotesque. taunting. he looks at gojo with something that almost resembles pity, something bordering on disappointment.

”pathetic,” he spits, all teeth. ”what good is living if it’s not at the top?”

gojo simply smiles.

he recalls that one question. eleven years ago, somewhere close to the ruins of the very street he’s standing in now. the question that flipped his entire world upside down.

(are you the strongest because you’re satoru gojo? or are you satoru gojo because you’re the strongest?)

a grin breaks out across his lips. his cursed energy pulsates inside his veins, eager to be let loose, and he takes on a fighting stance. parting his lips to speak, unsure of whose question he’s answering.

”well, we’re about to find out.”

the sky is gray. even so, all he can see is that familiar shade of blue, as clear as ever. even without the six eyes.

gojo smiles. 

just keep watching, suguru. 

this time, i definitely won’t lose.

[diorzs]

Helloo are u taking requests? If so can i ask for Yuri briar with taking care of sick! Reader?? Thank u sm T__T

# MY DOCTOR

pairing(s) — yuri x sick!reader

genre(s) — fluff

cw. mentions of medicine

masterlist. note : this will be a gender-neutral reader, and will be in 2nd person again, and it’s a little cheesy

a fit of coughs wracked through your body, waking you up suddenly. you felt uncomfortable the moment you gained consciousness, your throat was itchy, you were extremely warm to the point of irritation, and you could practically feel the sweat on you. you turned over to your left, yuri was gone, but as you got up and sat on your bed, you could hear him enter your shared apartment.

“(y/n) dear! i’m home!” you could basically hear his smile, as he slowly opened the bedroom door. you waved at him tiredly, pointing to your throat. “i’m sick” you stated tiredly, he nodded, pulling up a chair ( it was a bean bag ) to the bed. he took out an thermometer from the bedside table, and placed it in your mouth. his eyes widened when he saw your temperature.

“you’re at 101° F ( 38.3°C )! what did you do??” he panicked, beginning to rummage through the bedside tables. you paused, trying to remember, “i stayed with you last time you were sick don’t you remember? and it was like 2 days ago maybe?” you responded, your scratchy voice only made yuri worry more about you.

“we need to get you cough drops,” he sighed. he had grabbed some medicine and motioned for you to open your mouth, you complied and he placed the medicine inside. you swallowed with some water and sighed loudly. “thanks love” you held his face and kissed him tenderly. he blushed madly, stuttering and holding a hand to his face in an attempt to cover his blush. you giggled at his shyness as he went out of the room to ‘grab something’.

a few minutes had gone by but yuri wasn’t back yet. so instead of waiting longer, you decided to sacrifice your comfort and go see what he was up to. you slowly ascended from the soft covers and mattress, and walked towards the door to open it.

you peeked your head around the wall that seperated the living room and stairs, seeing yuri…dancing..? you suppressed a laugh as you continued watching. to any normal person, he would look panicked because of the movements he was doing, but ( obviously ) you knew him better than most.

yuri was freaking out. but he was so happy, you never really called him any pet names so he was practically jumping in happiness. it was like he was teleporting by how fast he was moving. “babe?” you called out, yuri immediately stood straight and cleared his throat, pretending as if he wasn’t doing anything. you laughed loudly, and walked down the stairs to hug yuri from behind.

“i love you~” you told him. he simply scoffed dramatically and turned his face away from you. “are you mad at me?” you asked, directing his head back to you by moving his chin. he blushed furiously and sputtered a small, “no!” “sure…” you responded teasingly, pulling away from the hug and walking to the kitchen counter.

you opened a cabinet and took out some pills. once you had finished swallowing the medication, you glanced at yuri from your peripheral vision. you could see him gazing at you intently.

“you should take a cold shower love,” yuri informed you, “it’ll reduce your temperature.” “since when did you get so smart?” you teased, pouring a cup of green tea to help soothe your throat. he scoffed playfully, and left to go back upstairs to your shared bedroom. you shouted an “i love you!” as he was leaving and smiled.

you finished your tea, and so you decided to take yuri up on his proposal of taking a cold shower. you grabbed some pajamas, and quickly ran into the bathroom.

once you had gotten out of the shower, you had felt so much better. you didn’t feel gross and slimey, but rather you felt refreshed and cooled. you swiftly put on your clothes and opened the bedroom door.

yuri was facing the opposite direction of where you were standing and was scrolling through his phone. you laid down beside the man and cuddled him. he turned himself towards you and tried to hide his smile.

“thank you for being my doctor today yuri,” he finally smiled widely as he responded, “thank you for being my patient, dear.”

posted — 5 / 19 / 22

© diorzs all rights reserved 2022