#look at my son hes so fuckign PRETTY

[rabbitgardens]

doodled something that looked like the blog icon a bit ago, so i decided to clean it up and make it a New Icon!! (ciel uses he/they pronouns!)

[professionallydeadinside]

How do you think the bullet train characters would react to tiktok really curious on your take on this

Okay strap in here are my thoughts on how bullet train characters would react to tiktok despite not using tiktok myself wasdfghhg

Ladybug: YOU KNOW THOSE TIKTOKS THAT ARE JUST BITCHES SPREADING SELF CARE MISINFORMATION? YEAH LADYBUG IS HOOKED ON THOSE

Maria: Has it downloaded because Ladybug sends her a lot of tiktoks and she reluctantly watches them because he gets sad if she doesn't

Lemon: He posts and scrolls on tiktok, 100% tiktok famous his followers fuckign love him and he full on jokes about being an assassin but they just think it's a weird bit he's keeping up

Tangerine: Oblivious to all social media but showed up shirtless in the background of one of Lemon's tiktoks and now Lemon's followers are rabid for him

Yuichi: Only has it because Wataru likes scrolling cat videos so sometimes he gets dragged into rabbit holes

Son: Does tiktok dances and is pretty popular because he has that tiktok eboy look

Prince: Is exclusively there to write hate comments on Son's account <3

[blookmallow]

ok here we go heres all my fuckign endgame stuff for ruby's main plotline. ive been hoarding screenshots forever i dont even know how long ago this was now

bro holy fuck

i M LOSING MY MIND!!! LOOK AT THIS

i am so fuckening confused

ruby and. her son, i guess,

im putting this post together way way way after the fact so i don't fully remember how i felt when i discovered this but like. i don't. know what to do with this. it isn't that much of a shock that he's become Old since. up until this point its extremely unclear how much time actually passed between freezings (except that it was 200 years from the initial freeze to the escape). so the thought that maybe he was alive somewhere but really old had occurred to me. but how do you even begin to try to have a relationship now. are we even family anymore, really.

skeletons!! i like them

im not sure what the hell Happened with super mutants. i guess they were intended to be. well, super human, but why did the institute just. release them everywhere. i forget if there was stated information about this but like when you encounter hostile synths they're Doing Something for the institute, super mutants are just. being super mutants and killing everything

found a weird floating spark that was just kinda stuck here. no idea why

anyway so. i tried really hard to play this civilly. the institute has done great evil but there's also just. families in here. there's scientists genuinely trying to make worthwhile advances. the big problem with the institute is the lack of regard for anyone else's rights, they have incredible incredible resources and are choosing to use them only for their own purposes. "Father" was intending to hand control over to me. with the right leadership, they could be using these resources to help people. just outright destroying it all and killing everyone inside regardless of anything would be such a loss. they have such potential for positive change in the commonwealth, in the world.

but despite the fact that you are being given control of the institute, despite the fact that the player character depending on your choices can be such a massively influential leader, you just don't get to make that choice. you aren't allowed to create change or negotiate peace. i tried working with them very cautiously up until i hit a wall where i was forced to decide between "destroy the railroad" and "destroy the institute" and i absolutely could not betray the railroad for these people

but before that, i suddenly got raided by the brotherhood out of fucking nowhere, which i understand now that ive started kind of acting as a double agent in the brotherhood on another file and learned they're pretty violently against synths and anyone who wants to help them

but if you don't do any of their quests there's really no buildup to this. i helped danse out that one time and we just never really talked again because i didn't want to join and then suddenly they're marching into my fucking HQ

how fucking dare they. honestly. i am still not over this. i will never be over this

i was really fucking mad about them tearing up HQ and about glory so i stormed into the "take out the prydwen" questline. at first

this was deacon's brilliant disguise for infiltrating the brotherhood. some fucking how this worked. how does he do it

but during the course of the infiltration i did some poking around to see what was in here first. and again i found lots of people believing they're doing the right thing. people who have been brainwashed and manipulated. people who are arrogant and self-righteous, sure, but do they deserve to die for it? there were children in here. i found a note from a child writing home to his parents out there somewhere. that kid is dead now because of me

everyone on that ship is dead. the game plays this as a triumphant victory. i wanted this at first because i was acting on Revenge but watching it all burn down just made me feel sick.

i never found danse again. he's no longer at the police station and i couldn't find him on the ship or in the wreckage. i never did anything with him beyond the first intro quest thing before you get the option to join the brotherhood (and honestly thus far on my other file he barely has a personality. i havent reached full affinity yet though) but the fact that we hung out together that one time and got on pretty well is still in the back of my mind and i really wish i could get the closure of like. finding out if he's dead or not. but since i never recruited him as a companion i can't track him and i don't think i can access like, console commands or w/e on steamdeck so i guess ill just never know

so. then the institute

i dont know why i dont have a screenshot from before things went to shit but anyway i was so fucking excited to see gorillas in here and they all ended up dead during the revolt. i guess i dont know what animals still exist out there in the world but i feel personally responsible for the extinction of the last remaining gorillas as of right now and let me tell you. it doesn't feel good

i didnt want this!! i didnt want any of this!

i dont feel responsible for shaun's death specifically since. he was dying anyway. but it doesn't help to know that technically i probably killed him first.

so. that's two mass murders/at least borderline genocides im now personally responsible for. this, also, was portrayed in game as a victory and a triumph. i just felt empty. we stopped two dangerous forces, but we killed so fucking many people to do it. i want to say the point is war never changes, but it felt like i was supposed to feel like "hooray we won we defeated the evil" rather than feeling like im just continuing the cycle of murder and destruction that brought the world to this state in the first place which seems incredibly against the point. i still feel just as strongly as i ever did that mass murder is not and is never the answer. this feels wrong. this doesn't feel like a win, to me.

sighs. yeah man. we still gotta worry about aliens

i brought synth shaun out with me. he seems to believe he's the original shaun? i don't know what to do with that. i have no difficulty accepting him as my kid, but he's fundamentally not the original shaun. that baby is gone. that baby grew up without me and became a man who is now dead. this is my second child and i feel like it would be better to acknowledge that than to treat him as if he were the child i lost. technically original shaun made him with his own dna and his memories so he's kind of my grandson.

i also don't know what his life is going to be like, it sounds like he was created as specifically a "child synth" - not a baby, and all other synths start as adults, so it seems like they don't age. nick is a prototype so we don't know how he compares to the current generation but he's been around for ages

so presumably synth shaun is going to just be a child forever. he'll have codsworth, curie, nick, and hancock to look after him, though. i think he'll be alright.

mildly concerning meta implications here but sure

i brought him to the castle, it's my most well-established and well defended settlement and it's where preston and curie live when they're not with me, so it felt like a good place for him. i don't usually leave codsworth at the castle but i brought him to see shaun anyway

i built him his own room and everything

[gallusrostromegalus]

TPOFATGIF: question/observation about Seto Kaiba. Previously he's been described as 'less domesticated' looking because of his brown hair (in contrast to Yugi who is most friend shaped) was his green hair phase a PR stunt to make him feel more approachable to the public?

:)

No.

:)

Spoilers below if you want to read them:

So I decided early on that Noah Kaiba, the biological son of Gozaboro Kaiba, is a canon character and honestly deserved better no matter how fucking annoying he might have been. Like Yugi and Weevil* and several of the of the other characters with Neon hair, Noah's Teal/Green hair is perfectly organic:

Note the matching eyebrows.

Anyway, after being Adopted, Seto... pretty much went through hell with Gozaboro attempting to shape him into a perfect bloodthirsty little capitalist, and also... mold him into a replacement for his son, who he did miss. In a really fucked up "miss the concept I had of my son, not my actual Son, who I should probably retrive from the World of Warcraft Beta I left him in" kind of way.

One of the recurring themes in the Fic is the importance of retaining a sense of self- Yugi demands right off the bat that Yami pick out a name and never refers to him as "other me", How Bakura calls the spirit "The Parasite" and viciously defends that it's HIS body that thing just parasitizes him, etc. By the time Seto took over Kaibacorp and Gozaboro wheelies out of the window*, Seto's sense of self is in shambles. He's not wure which parts of him are him, which parts are pieces of (Gozaboro's Idea of) Noah he's subsumed, what's the capitalism cancer that's growing on his soul (the thing Yami and Yugi ripped off him in episde 1, soon to come back and be creepy!), and so on.

Seto Kaiba has Green Hair in Season 0 because he's having an extreme identity crisis :)

*also, in the manga (and the fic), that is how Gozaboro dies. Seto takes over Kaibacorp, and Goza just goes "welp. Guess I'll die!" and literally kicks back the swivel chair he's sitting in and crashes out the window on the top of Kaibacorp tower. It's probably meant to be traumatic (and it is) but it's also really fuckign funny.

[sleepypeaky]

amore e famiglia

Michael gray x italian-american male reader

request: My gay italian ass self would LOVE a Micheal Gray fic, but like, not sure he would like a guy who's italian after that fucking Luca incident.. and I dont know if you write for mlm..

a/n: ok so i fuckign wrote this BEFORE i wrote amore and i never fucking posted this klfdsgjdlskfgjkldf im such a fuckign idiot

 (original a/n) this is very obviously a projection and naturally i chose a dinner scene to potray this bcs ... italian. I hope you dont mind that i added siblings, i wanted it to have a larger 1920s family vibe. Dedicated to all of my italian american gays ✌️we be lit

Part 1/prequel

1928?

Before you knocked on the door you turned to michael, giving him yet another disclaimer. 

You took a deep breath and opened the door.

“Ma i’m here!” You called.

The door opened into a small foyer area, then up ahead was the living room, kitchen, and around the corner to the right was the dining room and bedrooms. Your mother hurried out of the kitchen wiping her hands on her apron. 

“(y/n) bambino!” She cooed in her light accent as she pulled you in for a big hug and kissed your cheeks fervently. She held you at the shoulders when she pulled back to inspect you for damage. Then she remembered Michael.

“You must be Michael!” She abandoned you and went to make her attack on him, which was difficult considering he was a good foot taller than her. Nevertheless, she gave him a once-over and let out an incoherent exclamation of satisfaction, then she pulled his face down to plant a kiss on either cheek.

“I see you are a good strong boy. You take care of my son!” Then she hurried off to set the dining room table.

You turned to Michael, “Well that went pretty well.”

You helped michael find a hook for his coat and then led him into the living room.

Your father in a chair in the corner, muttering at the newspaper held up to his face.

“Hiya Pop.”

He looked up and seemed to suddenly remember that company was coming over. He folded the paper and stood up, saying a brief hello to you accompanied with a light pinch and slap of your cheek. He held out his hand to michael who shook it. 

“Nice to meet you sir.” He said. You laughed at his formality.

Your father smiled and nodded his head satisfactorily, he clapped a hand on michael’s shoulder. “You see,” he was talking to you “words of respect! I like the look of you Michael.”

“Thank you sir.”

Your father was called out of the room to assist your mother and you had a minute alone with Michael.

“You see, It’s not going so bad!” He said to you and squeezed your hand.

“True,” You sighed “But just wait until my sisters get here.”

-

“Nonna!” You called loudly as you stepped into the kitchen. The small woman was stirring something in a pot that looked twice her size. She let out a cry of excitement when she saw you both. She hobbled over and reached up to pinch your cheek and said an affectionate “faccia brutto!”

[faccia brutto is a term of endearment, but basically means ‘you’re ugly’]

Your grandmother now turned to Michael and pretty visibly swooned.

“This is Michael.” You said.

“piacere di conoscerti.” Michael said in butchered italian. You instantly loved him more for trying to speak your grandmothers language, though, not as much as she was. 

She threw her hands up and squealed with delight, she babbled a bit in italian before reaching up to pinch michael’s cheek. “Faccia Bello!!” She exclaimed triumphantly. 

You laughed, “She says you’re handsome.”

Michael grinned and rubbed the red pinch mark on his face.

-

Shortly after, your older sister arrived with her husband, and one of your younger sisters came shortly after. 

“I have 5 beautiful children,” Your mother explained to michael from across the table. “First a girl, then (y/n) my little boy, then the next 3 girls. But two live too far away for dinner, but we fill space with you!”

Amidst the talking -or should i say yelling- you glanced at michael to see he was clearly unaccustomed to the volume of the conversation.

nonna came out with the pot somehow carrying it before her. she gave everyone a slop of sauce and pasta from the pot, but when she got to michael she gave him more than the others

“Strong boy” she said in a thick italian accent and pinched his cheek again. Your sister laughed. “Looks like nonna likes you michael.”

“So what do you do Michael?” Your sister’s husband asked.

“I, ah...” You smirked into your fork-full of pasta. You liked seeing how michael reacted to that question. “Family business- motor manufacturing, I was just the accountant but now I oversee the New York branch.”

You could feel michael relax as your brother in law took the story- he had no reason not to. 

“Family business you say, I like that. It’s good to keep things in the family.” Your father would say something like that. “Whats the name?”

“Shelby Company Limited- my cousin’s name.”

-

It was over. You leaned agains the door to your apartment and let out a sigh of relief. 

“Oh come on! It was great!” Michael assured you.

You kicked off you shoes and went to collapse on the couch.

Michael came over and slipped under your sprawled legs.

“You were amazing.” You said and you kissed him.

“But,” You said with a grin. “I dont think i can be with you anymore.”

Michael smiled, “And why is that?”

“Because i think my grandma wants you for herself strong boy.” You mimicked your grandmothers accent on the last words. 

Michael laughed, “well thats too bad because she might not think so but you have a faccia bello.”

You smiled and kissed him again.

“Now,” You said. “It’s your family’s turn.”

[atalante241]

(Almost) Everybody’s an asshole to Tommy but he doesn’t somehow realize AU.

The whole of the SMP people’ve just been asses from the start, in the beginning it would be just brushing off and nothing major. But currently it’s straight up Team Rocket except it’s the whole organization kinda situation.

So yes, that does mean they all try to make server wide assassination attempts but they never fucking work and he somehow doesn’t realize [I’m starting to sense a pattern, me. With making Tommy a fuckign dumbass for comedy/angst purposes]

Like Sam Nook was born bc it apparently made working w/ Tommy a lot easier, nobody can guess why, it just is like that. Yes, Sam is also in on the killing plan, but he’s canonically not Sam Nook and I’m gonna fucking milk that in this AU. I love me some sentience gain and learning about feelings >:). So yeh, that means that at some point in time Sam Nook develops sentience and feelings and shit, and bc Tommy’s mainly the only person that’s around him and some other angsty shit about trauma he gets attached to the gremlin eventually their relationship turning to a brother/father-brother/son type of thingy. So yes, that also means that Sam Nook is going around standing behind Tommy punching ppl when they try to take a swing at Tommy when he’s not looking, only to smile at Tommy when he turns around like nothings wrong.

In exile Dream was telling the truth [Sucks, I know.], but he’s not off the hook, bc he did indulge in some manipulation & gaslighting still. And drove a child to the point of suicide. The whole of the exile arc Dream was kinda confused why Tommy kept thinking that everybody was his friends still, when it was pretty known that nobody on the SMP liked Tommy.

Basically anytime that someone told Tommy that ppl didn’t either trust him, would betray him or just straight up weren’t his friend Tommy just went “I do not see.” (Yes that includes Wilbur in Pogtopia.)

The only ppl not currently on that certain asshole train are: Phil, Techno, Ranboo, Sam Nook, Wil/Ghostbur (wtf is he currently????) and Schlatt bc he didn’t even try to hide it a bit and was just straight up baffled at the SMP’s hatred for a literal child but he couldn’t give two shits about it.

Also, Tubbo’s a fucking manipulative shithead in this. I’m sorry. By that I mean, he straight up despises Tommy’s guts but goes all “I care so much about you and definitely don’t want you dead, we’re bff’s! :)”

When they tried to execute the nuke plan and it failed they all met up at this meeting room that they have.

“HOW THE FUCK DID HE SURVIVE A NUKE!? AND WHERE THE FUCK DID THE RADIATION POISONING GO??” Quackity’s screech bounced off the walls of the giant dome they had built for this, somehow Tommy hadn’t even tried to enter the giant white blob at the edge of the Holy Land.

“WE DON’T KNOW!” The ugly crying from Tubbo, Jack and Niki answered back to him.

“I for one would like to know why the fucking egg cult still hasn’t fed him to the egg”, a voice piped up.

“We would! If someone’s robot wouldn’t keep getting in the way!!” The well known screech of Bad rang out through the room.

“HEY! It’s not my fault it went rouge!” Sam retorted back.

“Can’t you, I don’t know, just turn it off?” The deep voice of Eret enquired.

“I just said it went rouge.”

Something like that.

Cottage core vacation gang are just baffled by the entire SMP’s hatred for a child.

Basically it’s loony tunes logic with constant assasination attempts, with dad/brother Sam Nook while Tommy’s blissfully unaware. Maybe by accidents people start to find themselves liking him after spending enough time with him, but they only realize that they’ve grown attached when he almost dies. B)

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom, season 3 episodes 3-6 thoughts!

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-johnny was actually pretty civil with danny and left when he asked! thats nice. also, SKULKER?? HAD A FRAMED PICTURE OF EMBER?? oooo fuck wait had they established they were a Thing Before?? I dont think so. thats weird. its like that country boy/goth girl meme lmfao. I think i am going to choose to ignore this new info and pretend I didnt hear it. 100% unrelated to the jazz/ember fanart I already drew and posted....😳

-LADIES NIGHT EPISODE THIS IS WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT. wish it didnt really center around the guys or them being pissed at them, but. willing to bet this was written by men lol

-THEY ERASED ALL THE MEN??? meanwhile, jack and danny are fishing at. silent hill or something. im glad jack is trying to read a parenting book and making an Attempt. (theyre at lake erie, but, they made it actually eerie...thats fun)

-the girls alt outfits...cute. EMBER MADE A NEW SONG TOO!!! kinda. jazz being one of the backup singers and being AWFUL. NOOOO

-'how are we going to get kitty to blow a kiss?' 'she'll have to think there are still some males in town!' ...i dont know how to break it to you, but I dont know that a 100% het girl would wish for all men to Begone. I think. I mean im not a het or a girl so I dont really know for sure. she Is probably Bi tho. esp having the other ladies in town chanting NO MEN!!! excitedly............(then again, the kiss is to get Rid of men, so, she probably would have blown it at the ladies only if they were actively trying to attack/stop them, so...I MEAN. THE DRESSING LIKE DANNY BIT WAS SO EXTRA)

-I feel like an all female cast ep couldve been way way way way cooler than that was. like. why was it still somehow all about Men. ...anyway. (where was valerie...)

-next ep opens with the observants, and, way way more of them than I expected...existed? I mean I guess them being a council/jury of some kind is what I expected from their first appearance (bc at that time they were basically TELLING clockwork to kill danny, not asking,, so I figured they had SOME kind of authority) but. there were so many. anyway, here goes vlad! letting his own hubris go brrrr. releasing a weather ghost for political gain! #justvladthings

-okay say what you will about him (he IS an asshole) but having an umbrella with his own face on it and more prepared to share is SUPER FUNNY. and him being fanned by huge wads of money by his bodyguards. SO ineffective but so Dramatic. He UNDERSTANDS that if youre rich you need to be. you know. obnoxious and kinda eccentric about it! fuckign hate when rich people are boring about it. I would trust vlad with nothing except to not be a boring rich asshole who wears...fucking khaki or some shit. man knows his Presentation Skills. and that 'V' chair in his mayoral office. is that fucking embroidered?

-maddie get your MAN PLEEEEASSSE. IM SO EMBARRASSED FOR HER. the way jack stays simping for this man. in FRONT OF HIS WIFE!!!! ...my god its like a love triangle. jack clearly loves vlad, who loves maddie, who loves jack. jack fenton is at the very least bi, right................. this is an OBSESSION . 'THE V MAN COMETH'???? i...my god. (also, on a serious note, to have a friend THIS SUPPORTIVE...and still be SUCH A DICK TO HIM (TRYING TO KILL HIM AND STEAL HIS WIFE??) NOT COOL VLAD. JACK IS YOUR 1 AND /ONLY/ HYPE MAN. if someone loved and supported me THIS HARD...LIKE. CMON DUDE.

-STOMP the fucking GAS, JACK

-this would make a great shirt design, looks like a metal band design! we love The Maelstrom

-oh, so vlad did in fact get a mansion in amity park. and its purple! good color choice! not as flashy as a CASTLE or MURDER CABIN, but still pretty eccentric, which I appreciate.

-...vlad knows the difference between picasso and da vinci? in the ep last post where we were watching him fail at conquering every historical time ever he didnt seem to know history well enough to like. be effective...was vlad taking art history at college?? (was he an art MAJOR??? we never DID KNOW WHAT HE WENT TO SCHOOL FOR. I kinda assumed business because in the masters of time ep he was still rich without ghost powers so he had to have..known something about business or something, right...but also, art and or theater FITS HIS PERSONALITY. possibly also something science-y, I guess, but I always felt like he got roped into that, esp how pessimistic he was about the ghost portal in the flashbacks to college, like, i felt like he was just there for maddie and was uninterested/un-invested at the time...)

-THIS GHOST JUST ELECTROCUTED MADDIE (THE CAT) BITCH!! THATS MY FAVORITE MADDIE!!! vlad going after vortex and being ~shocked~ .....WHEN. WHEN WILL YOU LEARN. THAT YOUR ACTIONS. HAVE CONSEQUENCES!!!

-the way this random man with a camera sees the mayor laying in an alley covered in TRASH AND DECIDES TO TAKE A PICTURE HAHAH

*snap* this ones going in my cringe compilation!

-vlad 'if we're going to defeat vortex, we're going to have to do it together!' *immediately dips after dropping danny off in front of vortex* JKASDFHKJHJKN

-DANNY CAN DUPLICATE!!! ...he couldnt even attack with it, but he DID IT!!! INTO (4) OF HIMSELF!!! SO PROUD!!!!!!!!!!

-'THE ROLLER COASTER EMOTIONS OF A TEENAGER THREATEN MY PLANS!' ...0 self awareness of his own dramatic moodiness. incredible, how dumb this man is. its very close to circling around to endearing, if he was less of an asshole. at least its very very funny to see danny shooting him with tiny lightning bolts anytime he's even slightly irritated! vlad you should be nice to danny anyway. this is what you GET

-...making sandwiches and ice cream and playing video games with your nephew is a totally normal thing. WHY is vlad acting like this is the end of the world. if you were a GOOD UNCLE YOU WOULD ALREADY BE DOING THESE THINGS!!! bitch I make my nephew food all the time and dont forget what he does and doesnt like. if u didnt know danny didnt want tomatoes, thats on u. if u, a grown adult, are gonna piss of the 14 yr old by not letting him win, u deserve to have to pay for the arcade machines he ruins because he now has uncontrollable storm powers because YOU THREW HIM INTO A FIGHT WITH THE STORM GHOST. fuck u vlad. paypal me $400,000 while ur at it tho. (also, gamer vlad confirmed)

-VLAD CAN COOK THOUGH???! I assumed he had...people working for him that did that. I mean. billionaires usually dont do that. then again, we've only seen those vultures working for him (and I guess the dairy king was AT his old mansion, but it was never really clarified if he worked there...I think he probably just Hung Out and they Enjoyed Cheeses Together. thats what I think, I dont think a KING would be working for anyone and also the dairy king was nice <3) but then again he would be a private person and we cant have anyone accidentally finding Ghostly Things, so...still, that's hilarious. pour one out for that really cute banana split that got ruined 2 seconds later

-vlad just fucking picking danny up and THROWING HIM AT VORTEX TWICE WITHIN LIKE A MINUTE. JUST ABSOLUTELY LAUNCHING HIM. BITCH THATS MY SON BE CAREFUL!!! HES GOT ORGANS AND THINGS!!!!

-danny seeing those animal commercials and feeling sad is the biggest 2000s throwback so far. i legitimately had to change the channel or walk out of the room when those came on bc id CRY AND BE SAD ABOUT THEM FOR DAYS AFTER. fuck those commercials and fuck that IN THE ARMMMS OF AN ANGELLLL song 😭

-'vlads ego almost got the town destroyed!' yes danny thats the entire episode. the entire series anytime vlad shows up honestly. this episode was just him being really embarrassing the entire time, and, me laughing about it. 10/10 would laugh at him again

-NEXT EP WE HAVE A SHAPESHIFTING GHOST?? I've said it before but shapeshifting is the power I would want when asked those 'what superpower do you want' questions...its the Best power! this guy looks like a homestuck character. ive never read homestuck but thats the vibe

-I love every time we see tuckers family, they are by far the most functional family. and dash has a lil chihuahua!!! named pookie!!! i am crying (I've had 3 chihuahuas, so I am very biased, but...) AND HE WATCHES THE ROMANCE CHANNEL WITH POOKIE. POOKIE I WILL DIE FOR YOU YOU SWEET LITTLE BABY.

-danny can lift a bus! I shouldn't be surprised, but i am proud of my son. hes got lil kid fans. i am going to cry about this

-JAZZ KEEPS A SCRAPBOOK WITH DANNY'S LIL HEROICS AND NEWSPAPER CLIPPINGS!!! we've actually seen it on her floor before, but I didnt realize it was a scrapbook!! thats sooo cute.

-...and danny has to stand there listening to his parents saying danny phantom sucks and is a 'filthy ghost' and calling him egotistical...i am once again stealing their kids!

-THIS GHOST RIPPING JAZZ'S SCRAPBOOK!!! ILL KILL YOU. SHE WORKED HARD ON THAT!!! BITCH

-yes, maddie, the one with red eyes is For Sure Actually Your Son. ignore the, red eyes... (CLEARLY she hasnt watched the other 2 eps where danny has been evil, she doesnt know red eyes= evil!!!)

-'billy fenton'.......................

-danny being stuck as phantom in his own house, no way out is a fucking NIGHTMARE. his parents pointing giant weapons against him and SHOOTING AT HIM. THIS IS A HORROR MOVIE.

-NINE INCH NAILS POSTER.

-this is the most screenshot of all time

-amorpho turning into mr. lancer because hes 'someone no one will want to be around' BUT HES WRONG, I WOULD BEFRIEND AND HANG OUT WITH MR LANCER SO FAST.

-tucker dressing as danny, now I have the full Tucker set of him being sam and also being danny. also saying 'the ghost...uh...RIPPED MY FACE OFF.' and then running. SMOOTH. NOT AT ALL CONCERNING TO ANY PARENTS.

-sam accepts the toast from jack. and then 2 seconds later is like 'why am i eating this.' THIS SHOWS HUMOR IS SO UNEXPECTED SOMETIMES ITS REALLY GOOD. and then the scene after, mr lancer running into his ghost doppelganger and being like 'YOURE GORGOUS' THEN FAINTING. I AM CRYING. AND DASH FAINTING TOO.

-sam disguising herself as danny again to help tucker run from the fentons. but leaving him shirtless in the streets. incredible. 'plEASE DOnt NOTice MY FACELessNESS I MUST LIVE IN EXILE' this episode is destroying me the humor in this show is exactly my brand of corny and cheesy

-the impromtu story made up by danny and amorpho to explain stuff to the fentons. my god they are both such bad liars. but amorpho is a good egg. wish danny wouldnt have said he didnt wanna see him in town again!! I want him to be reoccurring. not that thats gonna matter since I'm almost done with the series, but the idea of this being the Only Time We See him is :(

-NEXT EP SAYS STARRING MARK HAMILL??????!!! hello ! mr . joker....mr. star wars.... I feel like I should be. idk. taking off a hat im not wearing in respect. I shouldnt be surprised tho bc hes in a lot of cartoons as a very good voice actor, and dp has already had a lot of talented ones so I've been looking out for ones I might know, but....mr. hamill....

-sam has her own greenhouse, names all the plants, and says thank you to them (in the languages from where the plants are from) whenever she harvests from them. thats SO cute. and her lil gothy lunch box...

-and danny's lil red fuzzy lined jacket!!! ive said it before but every time the characters get alt outfits im like :D

-danny has ice powers now!!! THATS WHAT FROSTBITE MEANT. HE KNEW SOMEHOW WAY BACK THEN

-THIS SHOW NEVER LETS YOU FORGET VLAD IS A BILLIONAIRE, HUH.

-danny's lil 'holy hibiscus!' first off the 50s batman swearing is hilarious. 2nd. my username is from the flower sanchoyo hibiscus, so, shoutout to ME this ep. hi :)

-EURGH UNDERGROWTH MAKING EVERYONE PLANT ZOMBIES. HIVEMIND PLOTS SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF ME. and this dude made the city SO overtaken so quickly like how long was danny asleep?? oh god

-evil fucked up sam! now the whole trio has gone evil at some point! the voice actress did a really, really good job with making her sound like a zombie...

-frostbite's paws are so so so big compared to danny. oh my god. i want to hug the snow dog...

-the far frozen has an advanced medical stuff!!! very cool. very smart snow dogs

-im so glad danny has a friendly ghost snow dad to explain this new power and teach him!!! this is so sweet. DANNY'S GHOST SENSE WAS A PART OF HIS ICE POWER?? OOOH. COOL. we love a training montage!!!

-danny saying if he cant defeat overgrowth, that he'd want to stay with frostbite...oh my god...do you think this is the first real supportive adult figure in his life (I am NOT counting his parents because they threaten him on the daily even if they dont realize it.) I mean mr lancer is a Teacher, but he was also nice but this is different, but this is a GHOST WHO IS WILLING TO HELP HIM with his powers and also will help him when hes injured and is so so nice and comparatively so much more mature than 90% of the adults in this show!!!! god. dad frostbite is my everything.

-the framing and lighting this episode, and all the angles...they went all OUT and it looks really really good. this is my nightmare scenario, tho. like, FUCK zombies and dead city zones and hivemind shit. and using the humans as 'nutrients for the children' i am going to THROW UP.

-MALEFICENT VIBES WITH THE HORNS AND GREEN EYES! this costume kicks so much ass. sam is now mark hamills daughter, I guess.

-danny's ice powers making his eyes blue!!! thats neat. and him going for the roots underground was SO SMART. i will not stand for danny ever thinking hes stupid, hes SO smart.

almost done with the show... :"( thats a sad thought!!!

[biznichwrites]

Three’s a Crowd | Sanemi, Kyojuro & Shinjuro x F!Reader

Note: Happy birthday, Jen! Hope being 25 doesn’t fuck you like these boys are about to!

Warnings: smut, DP, DVP, triple penetration, daddy kink, breeding kink, dirty talk, spanking, D/s, creampies, degradation kink, biting

Summary: The Rengoku’s bring Sanemi along to give someone a special birthday present.

Word count: 2350

@dudeandduchess

“That’s a good girl! I knew you’d like your surprise.” Kyojuro beamed in joy, pulling her clothes off the moment she accepted her gift.

“I told you she would say yes, she’s a dirty girl after all. You have no idea the things I can make her do.” Shinjuro didn’t even bat an eye at his son’s eager nature. Let the boys do what they will, he knows she belongs to the only real man here. 

Sanemi didn’t pay the retired pillar any mind, rather going along as if he weren’t there. The scarred man grabbed her chin, kissing her roughly as Kyojuro caressed her body, his fingers grazing her ribs before pinching her nipples and latching his lips to her neck.

Shinjuro watched, letting himself relax and take in needy breaths. Idly he looked around, finding the oils he usually had hidden placed around the room for easy access. Kyojuro must have been planning this for a while. When his attention turned back he found her sliding to the ground,  palming their cocks.

“Baby, I don’t think that’s part of the deal. These boys were supposed to pleasure you, not the other way around.” These children needed to be reminded of what the plan was - and whose birthday it was. 

As soon as the younger pillars were called out they moved into action, the flame pillar turning her to face him as he lowered himself to her level. His lips latched to her chest as a slap echoed through the room. The grin on the wind pillar’s face grew at her moans, urging him to lay a barrage of handprints across her ass as she arched her back into the feeling. 

“Giving in so soon? What a fuckign whore.” Despite Sanemi’s words his hands groped the reddened flesh in his hands, squeezing his fingers and pulling the globes of flesh apart. With a groan he appreciated the way her lower lips had grown damp. His enthusiasm poured out in biting laugh. “Horny already?”

“She just needs to be taken care of.” Kyojuro replied, like it had been the simplest answer in the world. His hands pulled her into his lap and further as he laid on his back until her hips hovered over his face. Leaning up, his tongue took a swipe across her slit, leaving him groaning at her taste. 

“What a good girl, let me have a treat.” Golden eyes looked up at her in excitement as he pulled her hips down, almost brutally smothering himself in her pussy. Well practiced licks striped up and down her cunt, from her entrance to clit, pushing the tip of his tongue inside just to tease her before latching on to her clit. Had it been any other day he would have enjoyed watching her struggle for more, but he wanted to spoil the birthday girl. 

Again calloused hands groped her ass before a smack was placed to one side. Kyojuro accepted the challenge for her attention, pushing his tongue into her core with a groan of his own. Even if this was for her he couldn’t deny she tasted heavenly. Not often was he given the opportunity to taste her, not when his own father tried to keep her full of his seed.

Sanemi poured oil down the crack of her ass, not minding the mess he made as the excess dripped along the flame pillars throat and into his hair. Kyojuro could feel the other man’s hand by his chin as fingers massaged her second entrance. To give the other room he tilted his head to latch to her clit again, sucking the bud tenderly.  

“Be a good slut and take my fingers, I know you love it - don’t fucking deny it.” A growl entered her ears as his finger pushed into her. Despite the moan of appreciation she let out he found himself wanting to hear more. After a moment he pushed a second then third finger in, unforgiving in his methods and he sought to overwhelm her. His digits pressed along the wall separating her cunt and ass, massaging the sensitive patches of skin from behind. 

“It’d be a damn shame if she came from my fingers and not your slobbering on her cunt.” Sanemi knew she was close, if the quivering in her legs was any sign, but he needed to assert himself as the better of the two. Immediately Kyojuro groaned in annoyance, his teeth bearing down on her clit as he held back his irritation. Rather it lit a fire within him to pleasure her more. With trained precision his tongue pressed to her clit at a specific angle, pressing the hood of skin protecting the oversensitive bud. He berated the exposed nerves with groans and growls as his teeth nibbled the base of the bud.

With a sharp cry she came, her hips jerking between the two pillars as she balanced between the height of her orgasm and overstimulation. Kyou sucked harder and harder, not stopping until her cries sounded painful. Sanemi gave her just as little mercy, plunging his fingers in and out of her until she collapsed atop Kyojuro. 

“You two had enough, it’s my turn.” The elder man said from across the room, his length out as he stroked it with oil. “Come here, baby. Sit that wet cunt on Daddy’s cock.” 

As if in a trance she complied, crawling towards him, only stopping to shiver at the feeling of Sanemi’s fingers leaving her ass. Shinjuro patted his thigh, urging her onto his lap. Without a second thought she sunk down on his length and clung to him, like most of her free time with him was spent. 

“This is daddy’s pussy, isn’t it? You just love being ym pretty little cock sleeve, don’t you?” He took her hips in his hands, bouncing her on his lap.

“Yes, daddy. I love it, I love your cock inside me.” Her confession caused growls of jealousy behind her, but she was in a trance once he filled her. Unconsciously her hips bounced, taking in his length into her depths. It was no secret that he was her favorite, especially as the other two pillars presence was forgotten in favor of her favorite man in the room.

“You better like more than just me inside you.” Shin tangled his hand in her hair as he brought her down to seal their lips together. The Shuffling of clothing was heard in the background before a warm body joined them. She knew just from the heat alone it was Kyojuro, if not from the way his oil slicked cock pushed within her dripping cunt as if it were the most natural thing to do. 

“That’s a good girl.” His hips pushed into the flesh of her ass, enjoying it as much as possible before being pushed back by Sanemi.

“Her ass is mine, back off.” His dick pushed into her second entrance with ease, between his preparation of her hole and the generous lube along his length. The way she moaned and collapsed on the oldest male as she submitted to being filled with cock left the men groaning. Despite it all, a kiss was placed to her temple by the man below her.

“Such a good little whore for Daddy.” He chuckled before thrusting up into her, not waiting for the younger two to get started. They all shifted, thrusting into her as best they could before finding a rhythm.

“Taking us so well - what a good girl you are, dear.” Kyojuro praised her, supportive as always. He wished he could hold on to her more, as the other two did, but considered himself lucky to be the only one able to see how deliciously her holes stretched around the cocks filling her.

“If you could see the expression this little slut was making, you wouldn’t be calling her a good girl.” Sanemi, as bitter sounding as always, growled out before pistoning his hips into the flesh of her ass.

“So much-” She gasped out, her back arching into the feeling in a weak attempt to push them deeper. “Please! Please let me cum!”

The gruff man below her smirked to himself, using the hand still tangled in her hair to tug her head to the side. “Then get to it, whore.” With little preamble his teeth bore into her neck, biting the sensitive skin.

“That’s it. Cum for us, be a good slut and cum.” Kyojuro’s words were lacked in honey despite their degrading nature. The three men could easily feel how her entrances clenched around them, the two Rengoku’s feeling how her walls spasmed around them. 

“I need you to cum in me, please! I need it!” Her body rocked back into their cocks. “Fill me up, I want your warm cum in me.”

“As you wish, slut.” Sanemi bit into her shoulder as he thoroughly fucked her ass, pounding into her viciously. Kyojuro watched her holes clench, knowing fully well she was at the brink of her release.

“Cum for daddy, cum right the fuck now.” The oldest man ordered. Immediately she followed his demands, screaming out her pleasure into his chest where her head had fallen limpy. Sanemi’s grip held her steady as she shook, her whole form trembling with her orgasm. The man followed suit, filling her hole with growls as he bit her ear.

Panting, Sanemi pulled away - mindful to pull out his length slowly to avoid any issues, even if he was sure she was well seasoned to having her ass filled. Kyojuro groaned at the sight of the wind pillars cum dripping from her second entrance as it slowly recovered.

“You really are a cum whore, aren’t you?” The flame pillar smirked to himself as he felt his end nearing. “Do you want your needy cunt filled, too, dear?”

Her mindless nodding was all the confirmation he needed, shifting over her back and resting his head between her shoulder blades to push in deeper. Now he could hold her hips properly he slammed into her, plunging into her depths to paint her core with his seed with a groan, pumping his cum into her.

“Are you still trying to get my clock sleeve pregnant?” The elder Rengoku asked the younger. It was rhetorical, they both knew the answer. 

“Well you haven’t yet so I figured I could try.” Kyojuro laughed to himself, pulled out so leave her blissed out and full of cum laying against his father. The elder man held her cheeks, making her look up at him as he rolled his hips up, causing the tip of his length to kiss the entrance to her womb - a place he abused frequently enough to know she loved.

“My little cum dumpster. You think you can cum again for Daddy?” The way she blushed and nodded, as if his attention was more embarrassing than being fucked open by three men, almost warmed his heart. His lips sealed to hers as his feet anchored to the floor. Rough hands held her hips in place as he thrusted up into her sensitive cunt. 

“Daddy!” His hold never loosened,even as she wearily tried to match his rhythm. One hand slapped her ass, giving just a love tap - a warning not to do anything he did not allow.

“You’re supposed to get fucked, not the other way around.” With that the man rolled them over, placing her on her back with her legs slung over his shoulders with practiced precision. He smirked down at her, leaning over her on his elbows before biting at the lobe of her ear. The position bent her in half into a breeding press - all by his design. 

His fingers caressed her clit before pinching the tender bud harshly. Even as her legs trembled at the feeling he never lessened his ministrations. A huff of a laugh left him as he began to pound his length into her, the head of his cock pushing against her womb every thrust of his hips. 

“You want my cum? You want me to fill that little need cunt? To keep you full of cock and cum until you can’t think of anything else? Answer me, slut.” The pace he set was brutal - knocking the air from her lungs and jerking her body. Her lack of response didn’t entertain him in the slightest. A tight, painful pinch to her clit was earned before his hand left just to smack against it harshly. 

“You better answer your Daddy when he speaks, or I’ll leave your needy cunt hungry for cum. Do you hear me?” A smirk graced his face when she nodded, gaping like a fish as she struggled to form words. “Yes, daddy. I’ll be a good girl, I’ll do whatever you say.”

“Anything?” The frantic nodding was enough of an answer. He chuckled to himself. “Then hold my seed in you until that little cunt of yours holds my child.” He didn’t miss the way her eyes rolled back at the statement. She had always been eager to have his cum with just the idea of bearing his child. 

“Please, daddy! Give me your cum. I’ll be good, I’ll get pregnant. Please, please, please! Let me cum with you!” Her body trembled as another release loomed over her, urged by the dirty words from the man above her.  His fingers doubled their efforts as he loved the way her walls clenched at his cock, as if begging him to cum with him.

“Cum of my cock, slut. Cum for me.” The command was all it took, pushing her over the edge. Her walls clenched around him, fluttering squeezes urging his released, making his cum coat her walls. The simultaneous orgasms made the moment more intense, but neither would have changed a thing.  

Panting filled the room, mostly her own as the other controlled their breathing much better. A rare, tender smile graced the older man’s lips - something that only she could see of him. Gently, in an almost uncharacteristic manner, he kissed her lips. 

“Happy birthday, baby.”

[jungshookz]

Idea- Jin patrols your campus parking lot and you keep parking in a no parking zone so he keeps giving you tickets but you just pay them and then continue to park in the zone. Jin gets sick of this and waits at your car so he can give you a piece of his mind but you come out and he thinks your really adorable and he just kinda stands there tongue tied

➺ pairing; kim seokjin x reader 

➺ genre; crckhed hrz let’s be real 

➺ wordcount: 2k 

➺ what to expect; “to the asswipe who owns this mini cooper - do you know how to read signs? this is a no-parking zone. no. parking. zone. that means you are not allowed to park in this zone. DO NOT park here.”

➺ note; i’m pretty sure this was sent in a year ago because the messages this far back are all about mechanic!yoongi oOps! there is an obscene lack of jin drabbles on my masterlist and i am in a jin mood so if u have any drabble ideas lemme know and i might get back to you in one yEAR i hate myself   

                                       »»————-　🚗　————-««

for the most part, jin can say that he loves his job as campus patrol officer

it’s pretty easy because all he has to do is check and make sure if anyone’s staying longer than they’re supposed to oR if someone’s parked where they definitely do not belong

like, a no-parking zone, for example!

he thinks it’s relatively easy to follow the law

it’s not hard to park in a no-parking zone

because it literally says no-parking

no-parking = no pARKING

but he is really, reaLLy being tested right now because this is probably the tenth or twelfth or HUNDREDTH time he’s written up a ticket for this stupid mini cooper

he just doesn’t understand how one doesn’t understand that a no parking zone means a no parking zone

it’s literally so self-explanatory!!!!!

and he can’t call the tow truck company to come and take it away because according to his boss jin has pulled the ‘the boy who cried tow truck’ act onE too many times and his privilege to make that call has been revoked

so all he can do is slap a ticket on the window and call it a day

at this point he’s convinced that the owner of this dumb mini cooper is is probably just repeating the same mistake juSt to get on his nerves

he doesn’t know what he’s done to deserve this!!

also

who drives mini coopers nowadays

why would someone want to drive such a dinky little car?????

just as he’s about to slip the ticket behind the windshield wiper he pauses

no

you know what

he has to switch things up

he can’t just keep giving you the same exact ticket each time because it’s obviously not scaring you

the law is supposed to be threatening and you appear to not give a heCK about his tickets (which is another reason why he’s so upset with you is because you’re not taking him seriously and he takes himself very seriously when he’s in patrol officer mode!!!)

he slips the ticket behind the windshield wiper and gives the hood of the car two firm pats

that should do it

jin lets out a breath of relief before moving on to his next victim

hopefully he’ll never see the mini cooper ever again

“oh my g- you know what, don’t even get me staRted on how much i pulled that essay out of my ass-“ you snort as you pull your car keys out of your backpack

“so do you think you did well on it?” hoseok hums over the phone

“i mean, i don’t think i did well but i also don’t think it was thAt bad-“ you have your phone sandwiched in between your ear and your shoulder as you dig through your bag

why is it that when you need to pull something out of your bag it suddenly becomes an endless mary poppins-esque style knapsack

aH

your eyes light up in excitement when you feel it and you pull your keys out with a jingle

and just when you’re about to unlock your car (affectionately named cooper) you notice the familiar looking slip of paper on your window

oh come on

not aGAIN

“son of a bitch!” cooper chirps happily as you unlock him and you open the front door a little toO aggressively

“what’s wrong?”

“i got another friggin’ parking ticket.” you grumble as you take it before getting in the driver’s seat

you toss your bag next to you before setting your phone on the dashboard and hitting the speaker button

“maybe you should take this tenth parking ticket as a sign to stop parking in the no parking-“

“oh my god, i can’t believe this! hold on, let me reaD you what this person wrote!” you clear your throat before raising the note to the light “to the asswipe who owns this mini cooper - do you know how to read signs? this is a no parking zone. no. parking. zone. that means you are not allowed to park in this zone. DO NOT park here.” you let out a scoff of disbelief

how ruDE!

“again, maybe you should take this as a sign to stop parking in the no parking-“

“one more word out of you and i’ll send you riGht back to the world of commuting, hoseok.”

that effectively shuts him right up

you read the note one more time

somewhere out there there’s an officer who is too passionate about this no parking zone business

you lean over to glance up at the sign that very clearly states you shouldn’t park here and you give a little shrug

it’s not that you’re being an asshole and just ignoring the literal law

it’s just that this is a reaLLy good spot to park in

you used to have to park all the way in the back of the lot which resulted in you having to sprint to your classes

and you don’t wanna be huffing and puffing as you step into the lecture hall okay

plus it’s not like you’re hurting anyone or getting in anyone’s way!!!!!!

it’s not a big deal

you have no problem with paying off a couple of parking tickets as long as it means you don’t have to spRINt to your classes  

you shrug before opening up your glove compartment and shoving the ticket inside

anywayS

jin whistles a happy tune to himself as he makes his way down the sidewalk at a leisurely pace

he had a pretty good today

had a good breakfast

got a free donut from the lunch ladies because not only is he a lady’s man, he’s also a lunch lady’s man

also

on a completely unrelated note

he doesn’t know why he has to wear this obnoxiously orange traffic vest

well obviously he knows it’s part of the job but like

out of all the colours in the world why did it have to be bright orange

why not like a muted purple or a navy blue??? those would be loveLy to wear

maybe not peach

he looks gross in anything peachy

anyways he-

“oH MY fuCKIGN-“ jin gasps as he rushes over to the MINI COOPER

IT’S BACK

HE’S CURSED

HOW-

“are you KIDDING me?!” jin groans loudly and ignores the odd glances he receives from the people walking past him

you know what

that’s it

this is the last straw

he’s just going to wait here til the owner of the car comes and then he’s going to give them a PIECE of his mind because they are making his job significantly harder

first his tickets are ignored and noW his threatening note has also been ignored?????

but seriouSLY

what kind of moron continues to park in a no parking zone???

jesus christ

he’s gonna need another donut after this

heck

he’s going to need like teN donuts after this

“good afternoon, officer! is there a problem?”

oh you BET there’s a problem

“as a matter of fact-“ jin whips around to finally face the culprit of this continuous heinous crime of parking in the no parking zone

he’s finally going to be face to face with his faceless mortal enemy and he’s going to give you a piece of his goddAMN MIND-

jin’s mind goes blank the moment he settles his eyes on you

oh

o

oh my god

woWie you’re cute

he usually says he doesn’t have a type but he suddenly has a type and that type is whatever you are  

you and your pretty eyes and pouty lips and veRy soft looking hair

a slight breeze blows in his general direction and he catches a whiff of your perfume

oh woW

he could swim in that scent all day

on top of that you’re wearing the cosiest looking sweater and for a brief second he wonders what you’d look like wearing one of his sweaters

“you- uh,..,.,.“ jin clears his throat and taps his pen against his notepad

what was he going to say again

something something car something donut something parking something something

you smile sweetly at him and tilt your head

“see, the thing is…”

you reach up to push your reading glasses up so they sit on the top of your head and you blink owlishly at jin “yes?”

the only thing in jin’s head is the sound of a fax machine beeping but make it as chaotic as possible

“oh my g- oh, i am so sorry!!!! i parked in the no-parking zone again, i am so sorry!” you let out a little groan as you rush over to unlock cooper

you never thought you’d be caught by an actual patrol officer so you don’t really have a plan of action

right now you’re just pulling the whole oblivious act and hopefully he’ll let you gO because you’re pretty good at convincing people that you only have two and a half braincells

one time you dumbed yourself out of doing your share of a group project and you still left that class with an A

:’)

…you’re a tinY bit of an asshole sometimes but that’s not the point

in the time that you’ve thrown your bag in the trunk and filled the silence with profuse apologies jin has managed to snap ouT of his trance

he’s not lady’s man jin right now

he has to be patrol officer kim

“you’ve actually-“ his voice cracks and jin clears his throat quickly “you’ve actually parked in this specific spot several times, despite me leaving you many parking tickets and-“

“were you the one who left that note on my car yesterday?” you interrupt him before narrowing your eyes suspiciously

wha-

why is hE suddenly the one being grilled

you’re the one who’s in trouble!!! 

…why is hE swEATING????

“well, i-“

“you called me an asswipe!” you gasp in offence and jin feels his face flush

o god

“you know what, uh, i was just frustrated because-“

“eh, it’s fine, i’ll forgive you. i guess i deserve it.” you let out a sigh and shake your head “tell you what, officer-“ you lean forward a little to look at his name tag “officer… asswipe.”

jin’s jaw drops slightly and now it’s his turn to let out a scoff of disbelief

you are opENLy disrespecting an officer of the law!!!!!

“it’s actually pronounced seokjin, i really don’t know how you messed up that badly-“  

“i promise i won’t park in this spot again-“

“oh, thank god-“

“if you give me your number.”

wait what

jin blinks

“so- i’m sorry, what?”

“this glorious parking spot in exchange for your number.” the corner of your lips raise in a smirk as you shake your phone at him 

wow

confident!

…he’s into that

usually he’s the one asking for numbers but obviously not in this case

also he has to admit that was pretty smooth

what’s the opposite of a lady’s man

…a man’s lady?

that don’t sound right

(jin gets a text from you later that night telling him you’ll pick him up tomorrow afternoon at 3 - and that you’ll wait for him in the no-parking zone.)

help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)

requested drabbles masterlist

[the8thsphynx]

WONDERUFL now rando kugo headcanons @__@

NOW YA FUCKED UP. HERE I GOOO--

So I’m separating this into two sections: pre-Fullbring Arc and post-TYBW

pre-Fullbring:

He dropped out of school in the 11th grade and somewhere around there is when he started being able to use Fullbring and where he became a Substitute Soul Reaper

Kugo keeps to himself in most social situations; he doesn’t like talking about himself and obviously showing any emotion unless he’s drunk won’t happen.

Holy shit, he’s got a new person in his bed every night. That being said, the Commitment Issues are superbly bad. In fact, if he catches feelings you’ll know because he’ll ghost you.

Sexuality: ????????

Took on a job at an auto-mechanics’ and became an apprentice soon after. Kugo specializes in working on vintage cars and to the side he dabbled in motorcycles.

He’s so into his looks, it is such rare occasion he doesn’t maintain his drip; he’s even got a fuckign switchblade comb.

No, I am not neglecting Dad!Kugo, I would never miss the opportunity. He was actually better at taking in and taking care of smol Tsukishima than one would think of a young bachelor, and this comes from following his late older brother’s lead in how he was raised. Post-SS betrayal, though, he started to devolve and become more like his father (again, a base I’ll touch later), so his and Tsukishima’s relationship as this mentor-teacher/brotherly/father-son dynamic is lacking in a lot of emotional connection.

post-TYBW:

Kukaku let him know that she’s pretty sure he’s a Shiba if not Shiba-descent, so that’s why she lets him stay... also because he’s a great drinking buddy and as a lesbian with her gay brother Ganju she has no one else to talk to about loving women’s butts.

He knows that any Soul Reaper that comes around is likely gonna know who he is and hate him, and he weirdly enjoys it... up until someone has to try and use losing his fight to Ichigo as a ‘gotcha’ against him, then Kukaku and Ganju gotta hold him back.

The fact that he doesn’t have any of his personal clothes and grooming products anymore drives him batshit. ‘The HELL you mean I have to wear these old robes while my clothes are being cleaned?! What am I, someone’s fucking grandpa?!’

He pulls the awkward formerly-absent-father routine on Tsukishima occasionally; the whole *opens door* ‘so... how are... you...? how’s your books? how are... things? ...okay, good talk.’ *leaves* he’s trying his best, dammit.

Kugo has adapted to waking up at midnight to let Grimmjow in, because it’s either let the impulsive arrancar in peacefully or Grimmjow will find a more creative way to bust in.

[tylerwritez]

11:10 p.m. Tuesday June 29

Hey guys

As I type this I'm a little scared since my parents are arguing downstairs pretty bad... I had to try n brush my teeth quietly so I could stay outta it except my toothbrush is ELECTRIC.... they probably know I heard it all.

Well... I didn't hear it all. I couldn't make out half of it. They just both seemed agitated and angry and my mom called my dad a motherfucker and was on the phone with soemone saying bad stuff about him and the whole time he was saying she was lying and it was just really nasty to have to hear...

11:18 p.m. Its weirdly quiet now. But I'm scared. I'm scared. I want none of this. I don't want them to feel so fucking... upset. I hate that. Oh no. Oh no. I feel like I'm about to cry. But I won't. I won't cry because I'm stronger than that. I won't cry.

Oh shit now they're talking about me... but it sounds like my dad's on the phone with someone and my mom is gone, probably smoking/drinking in the garage. They're pissed I'm not packed yet. Damn, they really can't stand each other.

My mom is faking abuse????

It's hard to tell what he's saying from up here in my room...

It's my responsibility not to be upset about this anyways, okay? I'm just worried that shit will go down... or that my sister is hearing all this.

FOOTSTEPS... MY DADS... SCARED. SCAREDSCAREDSCARED PLEASE DONT GO UP THE STAIRS PLEASE DONT GO UP FUCK

Okay I misheard he just turned on the A/C... didnt go upstairs to my room. Man my ribs hurt. Probably from binding. they hurt so much I cant sleep on my side tonight :( oh well.

12:56 a.m. update: GODDAMNIT I TRIGGERED MYSELF BY LISTENING TO THIS FUCKIGN SONG AND NOW I HAVE SELF HARM URGES FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK HELP HELP ME HOW DO I STOP I HaVE NO REASON TO CUT I JUST GOT TRIGGERED TO WANTING TO DO IT...

1:20 a.m. update: I think I want to be sick again. I look at all this work I've done and I think to myself, why did I have to do this all alone? Why is there still so much ground to cover? It's not bad enough. I should be sicker if I want help.

I think I WANT to fall back into my old habits so I can get help.

That's. Weird.

I'd tell y'all about my day but I didnt really go out. We went to the mall and I l1fted some stuff. Easy peasy. I'm listening to music... I packed some more so lots of music... youtube...

I didnt do much today. This entry looks lazy but my day WAS lazy. It's super hot here... I have a fan RIGHT NEXT TO ME RN and I'm half naked and that's like. A normal temperature. If I were to move away from the fan (and its 2 cm away from me) I'd die of heatstroke.

Here's the song I'm listening to:

I'm alone, in the dark. I don't know. My brain keeps going back to the same memories over and over and over and forcing me to live through it all and forcing me to feel all of that and my physical form can't handle it and I start to twitch and spasm.

Actually I noticed I'm kinda prone to weird movements... this physical vessel is weak. I stim (sometimes on purpose, sometimes not on purpose), I get shiveries, my arms start to tremble if I put any weight on them and keep em in the same position long enough, and MEMORIES make my physical self RECOIL, my ribs hurt a lot..... I'm so weak. So so weak.

I dont know how I'm supposed to feel about that? I dont WANT to be weak in any way. But I mean... it makes sense.

I'm hoenslty really fucked up.. I need therapy like right fucking now but WE ALL KNOW IM NOT GETTING ANY OF THAT :)

Oh the strife that comes with trying to be a decent son and more accurately, oh the strife that comes with being afraid of telling g people that you need therapy... and being afraid of therapy and therapists in general.

If only we could erase the past.

I don't WANT to be a living breathing memory of a boy who's dead now, or a funeral sad about the man he could've become.

... I keep looking around my room and seeing how BARE it looks and it really cements the fact that I'm moving cos my parents are getting divorced and its fucking OVER. Like woah. Just when I finally thought I could maybe get a family,,, it's all torn apart.

I wonder how long they loved each other... and how long they stayed together for us.

Fucking hell. Fuck. FUCK. this is so unfair. I thought maybe... I thought that since they stopped being so scary and mean... I thoguht that since... well okay. They stopped being total dickheads to me and let me express myself more and now things are so much better and as long as you catch them in a good mood... you have parents.

....

Now? I wonder if any chance for me to rebuild our relationship and become a normal family has been taken away.

Fuck, why do I care so much about Parents anwyays? It's too late now. Even if they got back together and started being decent toward me like a real true family, that doesnt undo everything else.

Fuck, but I can never tell them that. They proabbaly think to themselves that hey, at least they did a good job with Kid Number 1... I dont have the heart to tell them its complicated.

I know whoever reads this is gonna think I'm some ungrateful brat. But trust me... I've been through some stuff. The ian you know today is a fucking hellhound. The dog of god, not the lamb of god.

I'll explain later. I'm too tired now. Here, take this post.

1:37 a.m.

Goodnight

Oh shit no not goodnight, Ariel messaged me, one sec

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 30

30 issues wow...forget the fact that I skipped like 5 issues of crossover event nonsense

another big ole swerve recap omg

this trial is so messsyyyyyyyyy lmao 

hvbajdfbahsjkfdbhjs starscream listening to meagtrons speech looking like ‘hmmmmmmm I may have miscalculated’ 

prowl looks pissed af meanwhile optimus just looks dead inside lmao

I mean. megatron kinda does have a point. this is like, the most biased, conflict of interests lookin trial of all time, in that all the major participants have some sort of long, complicated history with each other. what a mess

optimus, listening to megatron’s speech: wow this is worse than divorce court was

oh shit I totally forgot that those decepticons attacked the trial 

MAGNUS HAMMER AYYYYYY

a guy saying ‘objection!’ as optimus prime punches half his face off...that pretty much sums up idw op lmao 

op: oh thank god, I can punch shit now. I'm not cut out for this bureaucracy nonsense

megatron: thanks, random decepticon, for the attempted rescue, but I'm super old and I just want to nap so no thanks

random decepticon: wtf- [gets murdered by optimus prime]

I love op’s big ass antennae 

meanwhile, brainstorm goes to a bar and instead of buying anything, pulls out his own drink. I feel like that isn't allowed in most bars, or is at least frowned up vbsjdhfbhjdkfn. ily brainstorm 

also? big ass mood I was so broke last time I was on a barhopping vacation w/friends that I brought a cheap giantass bottle of mixed drink in my backpack and just drank that at all the bars lmao

WHIRLLLL I love his humansona sm. and also I love that whirl is into artsy french movies or w/e omg

brainstorm, drinking thru a wrist funnel: sorry I cant take my mask off rn it isn’t plot relevant yet

‘earthlets’ lmao

I love that rung is like, too pretentious to care that much about movies and would rather read earth books lol

and then bluestreak is like ‘yeah they have books...comic books’ can this man not read

I still cannot fuckign believe that the argument that got megatron out of a for-sure death sentence or w/e was ‘its not a war crime if we’re on the moon’ liiiiike what the actual hell lmao

also I love that, once again, we see magnus’s strict adherence to the law, technicalities and all

magnus: you cant really stop a trial and move it somewhere else where the laws are better suited to the outcome you desire

prowl: what are you, a cop? fuck off

also op being like ‘ok whatever all that doesn't matter...what DOES matter is that it would look bad for us to move the trial to cybertron in an obvious attempt to circumvent the rules, and public perception is what’s most important, fuck all that ‘morality’ bullshit’

meanwhile, rodimus is dead! and ambulon is also dead, which makes first aid sad, which makes ME sad

ayyy, rodimus is still alive! well, one rodimus is alive, at least 

rodimus and megatron really have the vibes of ‘stepfather and stepson forced to work together on a family road trip gone wrong after dad decided to sit this one out’ lmao

ah yes, ‘malaise’ the medical diagnostic term for ‘I don't feel so hot and idk why’ that practitioners like to throw under the ‘diagnostic notes’ section of lab orders to explain why they're ordering every blood test under the sun for a patient 

I love medical terminology. ANYWAYS

BE NICE TO MY BOY MEGATRON. 

rodimus: listen I have to come to terms with the fact that there's another version of me right here, and he’s DEAD, which means we can’t fuck, which is super lame 

I firmly believe that rodimus would be team ‘hell yeah id have sex with my AU self’ tbh 

I find it interesting that megatron is often casting blame for his actions onto others - here, he says that rodimus made him realize he doesn’t want to stop doing stuff w/his life, and then says that starscream forced his hand w/the whole ‘luna 2 law’ thing, and previously he’s said how whirl beating him up in jail is what led to him abandoning pacifism - take responsibility for your actions and decisions dude!

though he goes on to say here that he resorted to violence because he realized that the system that was in place could withstand everything else he would have tried to use to change it, which is super interesting 

megatron: okay, yes, I MIGHT have murdered billions, but I could help find us a new planet, which would be baller, sooooo...how about you co-opt your lame son’s frat boy ship and put me in charge? 

op: sounds fair to me. now how about we do some more Big Speeches before I make you somebody else’s problem

vbhdjskfbhaskdjf the ‘team rodimus’ lineup setup reminds me so much of the ‘together we make the ______’ meme with the different members being like, ‘the power’ ‘the gay’ ‘the awesome’ ‘the guy with no ears’ hbvhjdkfbs

chromedome: if I do this I could die

rodimus: that sounds like a you problem bro

‘this one time’ YEA RIGHT c'mon cd honor your dead husband’s wishes

omfg I forgot abt brainstorms ‘early early warning system’ lmao

I love nautica soooo much oh man

ooooof drift :( :( oh no

dead future rodimus!! uh oh is right

rodimus, known himbo: I'm sure I can defeat the inevitability of future events! all I have to do is cut my own arm off!

tailgateeeee he’s so cute...I love that he can tell stories of his daring escapades, just like at the beginning of mtmte, but this time its actually TRUE

OH SHITTTT GETAWAY

he looks so fucking sinister there lmao how are we NOT supposed to realize he has bad intentions from the get-go

‘you’ll make a prime one day’ well, getaway, you’re right about that at least...

cyclonus in the bg like 🤨🤔 at getaway

seriously I cant get over how getaway has such a slimy kinda vibe to him, like specifically in his interactions w/tailgate - this is before things even really take off but I'm still like TG GET AWAY (lol) FROM THIS GUY

cyclonus: somebody flirting with my crush? better go stare out a window instead of communicating absolutely anything to said crush about my feelings!

honestly I feel like, while megatron renouncing the decepticons and becoming an autobot is certainly interesting, it would be equally interesting for him to remain a decepticon but try to change the philosophy of the movement 

like, I get why op had him give that speech - to prevent the cons from trying to free megs again/thinking that he was being coerced into things (ironic considered he WAS coerced into giving that speech) - but it’s kinda the easy way our for megatron - being able to completely abandon the decepticon cause and not deal with it at all, and start over anew as an autobot

it would've been a lot harder to remain a con and try to reform what he has broken in the decepticon movement - but I think that would've been really interesting

though from a writing logistics standpoint, I get why jro didn't go for that bc we don't get a lot of other decepticons in the cast for that to work, and also megatron still definitely DOES have to face down all his mistakes w/the decepticons w/the djd and overlord and whatnot

anyways. I cant believe that all megatron had to do to join the lost light was make ONE speech denouncing the decepticons. like, they should've at least had him do a tiktok dance too or something, just to make it a really tough deal

I love the rodpod vbhjfsdkfbjaskjndfj

ok but I still don't really get the logic of making megs CAPTAIN like ouch. poor rodimus 

I feel like making megs a bartender at swerves or st would've been WAY more useful in showing him humility or w/e. OR it would've made him evil again, which, fair, 

ratchet: don't worry, we’ll medically poison him, it’ll be fine

ok but rodimus is right, this is SO messy, op wants to prove his ex husband isn't 100% evil so he’s like ‘ill let my rebellious son deal with him’ lmao god. I love this setup so much, its so wild

ratchet is also right, rodimus’s fuckup definitely pales in comparison to megatrons All That 

OH BRUTALLLLLLLL when ratchet says the list is fake ‘because my name’s not on it’ FUCKING OUCHHHHH

‘only bad guys say ‘unhand me” rodimus ily

omfg ‘we’ve practiced this’ of course they've done evacuation drills...magnus ily

lmao it’s the panel where it looks like rodimus and megatron are doing karaoke or having some sort of rap battle

and the lost light is GONE! oh shit!!!!

and there closes issue 30! once again we’ve gotten a lot of setup and exposition - which, while definitely necessary, means I don't have too much to say

I will say, throwing megatron onto the lost light has definitely mixed things up, and it’s interesting to see new dynamics already forming

so, until next time!

[uniformbravo]

natsuyuu movie.....................................

cries in love,

fuck it's been SO long since i last watched a natsuyuu & i miss it SO much fuck i love this show im gonna pass out

sees my SON on the screen being kind to youkai agkajgsdgk djfkd natsume "im not worried ABOUT sensei im just making sure he isnt getting into trouble anyway time to scour the woods" like gjksJGSDHSDJG i fucking cry when hthey w gjj WORRIEd about each other,,,,,,,,,,,,, there were scraps in this episode & i gobbled them the FUCK up oh my fuckin god,

like first we have natsume worried that sensei hasn't come home in a few days so he goes out lookin for him, THEN later in the ep natsume gets attacked by a youkai that threatens to eat him, he hears sensei a little ways off and calls for help- before help can arrive he falls into a hole & knocks out for a bit but at the END of the episode it's implied that sensei ate the fuckin youkai that threatened natsume and i just!!!!!! coulda been like welp crisis averted no harm no foul but NOPE this bitch tried to eat my SON i mean my WIMPY LOSER HUMAN bottoms FUCKING UP godD

& then that fucking oh my god. when natsume & the ishiokoshi are walkin thru that underground tunnel & natsumes like "ahh it's so pretty.... if only sensei were here to see it too" LIKE ok bitch u wanna share these special moments w sensei ok i se i see AND THEN as if THAT weren't enough already the fucking gut punch at the end when natsume says to sensei "actually let's take the underground tunnel back, i think you'll like it" I FUCKIGN literally i was holding it together just fine for the majority of the ep bUT WHEN HE SAID THAT I LOST COMPOSURE LGKJDKFJSKDGKD "shut the fuck upppPPPPPPPPP AAAAAAAA" <--- me irl when natsume said that

it just fuckin destroys me HE WANTED TO SHOW THE PRETTY SCENERY TO SENSEI......... FUCK im not okay

so ep 1 was great

and ok ep 1 was a natsume/youkai episode, i love those, v natsume centric which is always a plus, but then ep 2 slid right in to remind me that YO THIS THING HAS OTHER CHARACTERS who i love and adore NISHIMURA & KITAMOTO WERE IN IT 💖💕❤️💕💕❤️💖💖❤️

and it was a tanuma centric episode!!!! with youkai!!! seriously good shit hello fucking HELLO tanuma's insecurity & quiet jealousy over natsume's spiritual abilities fuckin GET ME BRO 👌👌😩💯 boy just wants to feel special & important & useful like his very special & important friend natsume & just god. the fact that this was potentially a dangerous situation for him but he STILL went ahead with it because he wanted to be included for once and like, feeling like the world of youkai was interested in /him/ specifically and the subsequent disappointment when it was never really about him just ahhhhhhhh tanuma please i cant take it u are SO special & important i PROMISE

also natsume worrying over tanuma the whole time aaaahhhhh he's so protective over his friends fucking kill me LIKE literally just. that moment when he asks misuzu straight up if he's a youkai in front of tanuma & misuzu's like hehe yea & natsume is just like no bullshit straight to the point if u hurt tanuma in any way shape or form we are gonna have HANDS between us like. idk there's something about the fact that natsume is SO well versed in how to talk to & deal with youkai at this point, there's this wild juxtaposition between how polite & respectful tanuma treats misuzu and how firm and intimidating natsume has to be that is just.,,. kisses fingers so good

like it's another way to contrast the two of their worlds, how removed tanuma is from youkai vs how familiar and versed natsume is with them, but it's also just like. idk i like those kinds of situations where one person is like Talking Business while their friend or whoever is watching like Woah Damn u know?? like there was a similar thing ascendance of a bookworm in the s1 special, where myne's family sees her negotiating business with benio & theyre like holy shit this is intense i never knew myne could talk like this- it’s like that sorta thing

like obvs it's not the first time tanuma has seen natsume interact with youkai but like, tanuma had been pretty convinced misuzu was just a normal human so i feel like it's even more striking to see natsume, who is always so polite and reserved around people, to suddenly come on so strongly against misuzu.... i just really like looking at the interaction from tanuma's point of view and feeling like u know, tanuma got to see a side of natsume he wasn't expecting. like he's learning a little more about him, getting closer in a way. idk it's just really appealing to me

also one last thing, there’s that small moment when tanuma's saying he wants to continue talking with misuzu and natsume starts to argue against it but stops because he realizes that how he (natsume) is feeling must be exactly how natori feels whenever natsume wants to rush into dangerous situations, like. just taking that step back & relenting with the resolve to protect tanuma, that was a really good moment!! obviously his concerns were more than valid but taking a second to realize that on some level he's felt the exact same way as tanuma does now on many occasions and relenting, deliberately trying to not control him, it all just felt really good to see, like it was a small bit of character development right there. Love that shit

(sidenote i really love misuzu's human design tbh like JUST the right amt of unassuming vs "something feels off"ness, plus appealing design w the purple hair like hello. i like the it)

so anyway!! i hesitate to call it a movie but u know. good movie!!! i really enjoyed these two eps and i loved seeing my fucking BOY again, these two eps were just the right mix of everything i love about this show to remind me that HEY it's still my god damn favorite anime!!! and i gotta get back into it!! i gotta read the fuckin manga man oh my godddd. lies on the floor i love natsuyuu so much

[vaguely-concerned]

The Untamed Liveblog

Yes hello I watched the whole thing and wrote down some of my thoughts and feelings along the way so I wouldn’t fuckign EXPLODE! Only look under the cut if you’re prepared for a truly outrageous amount of rambling (...no really)  

- I am elated to find that so far every adaptation I’ve seen has faithfully preserved the absolutely bizarre structure of the original book, I am appreciating the dedication haha

- the actor lends this version of lan wangji such an edge of youth and vulnerability right from the beginning, it breaks my heart. I don’t care how good he is with a sword, you can’t expose this pure sweet boy to the horrors of war!!! 

- I am so glad I already know who all these characters are and wtf is going on, I can’t imagine watching this first time without that knowledge lol 

- I love how they’ve made nie huaisang look so small and soft next to all the other cultivator, he looks like a floofy and eternally confused baby birb ;______;

- nhs citing the goldfinch as the reason he doesn’t want to die (presumably because no one will know to take care of it) TOT ur meant to be comic relief in this part of the story buddy you can’t make me cry like this yet!!!

(also the actor for wwx effortlessly sliding into being protective and reassuring and Good in a crisis. wonderful!)

- the actor for xue yang has chosen to go with the sexy baby school of evil acting normally associated with female villains and for that I can only applaud him

also setting up characters who are going to be important later on is something this show is doing better than the original haha, both the extra wen quing & ning and song lan & xiao xingcheng content is appreciated. (especially the latter suffered from ‘oh yeah those two -- actually wait who the fuck are these two again’ syndrome for me when I read the book. additional note: I am very sorry but clearly they are gay there’s no other explanation here)  

- poor jiang cheng, they really haven’t given him much help in this huh. I would sort of have preferred it if they let him be ever so slightly less abrasive in the beginning, like in the book and the animated version; I’m not feeling quite as devastated over this relationship as I did in either of those.

- lan xichen’s soft knowing smile is a blessing every time. just a nice man. did not deserve this. protect.  

- kudos to the actor for jin guangyao for the instinctive creeping unease I feel whenever he talks, even at this stage. he’s a wrong ‘un sir he’s a wrong ‘un

- y’know both the fact that nhs spent three days catching a bird and kept it with him undetected and that he’s the friend you go to for the good porn and managed to not only smuggle it into the cloud recesses but did so without getting caught... some wonderful subtle foreshadowing here (to make up for the very blatant visual foreshadowing that’s already been given out I assume lol)

- anyway lan ancestor lady and baoshan-sanren? gay. sad and gay. (I love how thoroughly wwx is getting to meet the in-laws btw lol how often do you have to meet your future spouse’s family from like three generations ago and take care of her rabbits for her after she’s gone, all before you even get to second base)

- fkadshfkasjdlhfsdjkfh the sheer consistency of nhs wistfully commenting on all the beautiful men surrounding him fsadfkjsdhfksd I think they might oh so subtly be hinting at some stuff here. HILARIOUS that this version, which has to maintain at least the veneer of some plausible homoerotic deniability, is a lot more overt about it than the book, which is free to be balls to the wall as gay as you please  

- oh no nie mingjue just showed up my entire heart is on fire. BIG BROTHER!! so stern yet fair, so righteous, so worried y______y also can we talk about how his ‘hmmm I think imma stab it?’ approach to evil in general and xue yang in particular would have saved everyone a lot of grief later on? and he tells wwx the whole necromancy thing is probably not a good idea? (I really like how he does it too, he has so much Older Brother Energy it spills over when he talks to other kids around huaisang’s age lol. it’s good that they show his temper isn’t indiscriminate at all, he’s not angry at wwx even though his idea is provably incredibly dangerous) sole ornery voice of reason nie mingjue, also did not deserve what’s about to happen, I cry and my tears are blood  

- ‘yeah okay I get that you’re mad but have you maybe considered... I didn’t do it?’ is an unusually weak opening move from jgy considering nmj literally did just see him absolutely 100% do it

- there should be a WARNING at the beginning of episodes where nmj cries so one could be PREPARED for the emotional devastation!!!!! tollest & stronkest man of the cast also stupidly pretty and heartbreaking while crying, it’s not fair

- I love how every cultivation sect’s home (except for the wens b/c they’re cartoon villains) is refined and beautiful and luxurious, even when it’s in a restrained way like the lans’... and then there’s the nie place which is like ‘please understand that this is a fuckn fortress’

- aww this doomed jiang cheng/wen quing thing is cute! too bad about... everything that’s about to happen happening huh

- oh wen ning.  very hilarious that he’s known as the ~*ghost general*~ forevermore when actually... he is baby... cinnamon roll baby... too good for this world, too pure...

- how is this cgi turtle somehow less egregious than the one in the animated version lol. I quite like this bad little friend! long neck.

- oh NO lan wangji finally letting himself show that he’s in pain when they’re in private... i’m uwu  

this beautiful boy is so long and lanky tho, I must admit he triggers my parental instinct more than the hot boy alert at this stage (but that’s fine I’m not the one who’s going to smooch him that’s wwx’s job lol)

the look of absolute disbelief and despair lwj gives when wwx thinks he’s in love with mianmian... this show is a cinematic masterpiece and I will hear no other opinion  

- lwj looking at the love of his life completely missing the point: are you a joke to you (the answer is yeah)

- okay we’ve officially hit the point where everything’s about to go to hell for real, pray for me I’m not sure I can handle this again

- jiang fengmian acknowledge your other son who desperately wants your attention and affection challenge (unfinished)

- watching this scene knowing exactly what this promise means to jiang cheng and that wwx is going to break it... this is fINE

why the fuck did I do this to myself I know what’s about to happen when will I learn to quit while I’m ahead lol

- the change in subtext from the novel that EVERYONE sees wangxian coming from day one is so painful from jiang cheng’s side. this poor boy really has abandonment issues pelting him from every direction huh. tfw your idiot genius brother doesn’t even fucking realize he’s basically announcing he’s leaving your clan and your side to get married one day ;______;

- man mxtx is just so GOOD at peppering in the small private tragedies that somehow sting even worse than huge atrocities going on. the fact that madam yu and papa jiang never manage to reconcile and communicate except possibly in death... oof my friends. oooof.

- WAIT WHAT NO DON’T SHOW ME THE CHILDREN WHO’RE ABOUT TO DIE WHAT THE FUCK YOU MONSTERS

- like we’re right at the worst part now and she is an asshole... but damn madam yu’s last stand is epic tho. like a champ to the end

- wen zhuliu’s actor being able to uphold a look of tremendous boredom at all times regardless of what’s going on around him is Poetic Cinema Bitches

- jiang cheng and wei ying are holding hands on the boat... stab me in the heart... end my suffering

- you know what in this version we get to see that madam yu knew her husband came back for her and they died holding hands and not everything’s on fire yet, so far this isn’t quite as harrowing as the animated version. the dead children are fucking me up but the tone of the animated version is like a nightmare, this is less disturbing to me

also can we talk about how madam yu fought them off the whole day and night and her husband gets his ass owned within five minutes 😔 oh papa jiang

- oh okay turns out jiang cheng’s ‘I want my mom and dad’ gets to me in every adaptation good to know

they’re so young they’re bbs I don’t want to be here anymore haha

- wen ning. a sweet angel. just the goodest of boys. his sister raised him so well ;______:

- wen quing is so ethereally beautiful and also looks like she could stop a train with the force of one glance. like she’s my height but her presence is immense

- oh I see we’ve arrived at the tiny adorable flashback bbs part of this journey, let me just... just lie down somewhere huh

- outside of the central romance this is a tale about people who love their brothers very very much and it’s real sad for everyone involved

- me watching nie mingjue kicking down the doors to reclaim his own dang fortress: YEEEEAAAAH GO OFF DAGE!!! i um love him and his very handsome face

- jiang cheng dreaming about his family is EMOTIONAL WARFARE!!! how fucking dare!!!

- y’know what this isn’t a bad way of adapting the burial grounds thing! also pretty cost effective I imagine, gotta think about the budget when so much of it goes into fabulous wigs and robes

- credit where it’s due, the actor for wen chao makes his face do some shit I didn’t know human faces could do and he’s enjoyable to watch in the capacity as your friendly neighbourhood hate sink

- lwj consistently using wwx’s personal name even when talking to total strangers now... mhm this is also fine

- I can’t beliEVE this show is somehow less subtle about the gay stuff than the book, jin zixuan basically just asked lwj if he and wwx were... y’know... I guess cultivation partners would be the way to go here lol. between that and nhs more or less asking them if they were off fucking after the whole cold cave debacle... what a time to be alive even if they’re not going to kiss on-screen  

- huaisang I hate to have to be the one to tell you this but your brother is an entire snacc. and yet I respect him way too much to ever proposition him, I know he is busy winning a war and being Righteous and slowly being driven mad by the ghost in his sword on top of raising his little brother, I’m not here to complicate things for him any further

I love this version of nmj so much though. this sense that he also sees the stuff that is genuinely good in jgy and has a real moment of grief that the dude just can’t seem to get away from his basic insecurity that causes him to do horrific things, even when handed other opportunities... the fact that he seems regretful and worried when asking jin zixuan how jgy is doing with the jin....... everything to do with his little brother...................... oh no he’s Soft in his private life this is awful

- poor lwj’s ‘I have a bad feeling about this’ face in this scene haha, he’s staring at this talisman like ‘I only know one person smart and dumb enough to pull this off’

- can’t wen quing just get one nice thing. one nice thing just for her. hasn’t she been through enough. give her her brother back and a nice quiet place to practice medicine and maybe some soft romance with jiang cheng eventually this show is kind of selling me on this.  

- unexpectedly my favourite part of the revenge scene is just the camera switching back to lwj and jc watching in horrified silence like ‘...O___o dude this is fucked up tho right?? it’s not just me that’s messed up??’

- one is forced to wonder about wen zhuliu tho. this version reads as pretty explicitly depressed/suicidal to me, he’s kind of an interesting villain since his main traits are unquestioning loyalty mixed with unending indifference and also seemingly not too pressing a will to live

- oh nhs desperately trying to keep it together and pretend nothing’s different ;_____; this version is really driving it home that wwx is a lot of people’s only friend -- jiang cheng is mentioned to not have anyone but his sister to play with before he arrived, lwj was raised primarily on books and rules and his brother is ELATED that he has one (1) friend now, from the sheer depth of the attachment I’m willing to bet nhs hasn’t had many real friends in his life either. wwx gives and gives of himself and doesn’t know how to take help in return.    

- foreknowledge is a beautiful thing; if you look at nhs when it’s revealed wwx didn’t bring his sword you can visibly see his brain kicking into overdrive haha. smart boy.

- big sister ;_______; I am an older sibling so I haven’t really had the feeling of having an older sister to look to, I see why it might be comforting now

- oh this is some real uruk-hai shit!! honestly the special effects in this aren’t half as bad as I’d been lead to fear, some of you guys just weren’t forged in the crucible of shitty sci-fi channel cgi at an early age and it shows  

(honestly the weird fight stuff threw me much worse in nirvana in fire, because that series has such intricate, credible and realistic political world building and then people are flying all over the place through wire fu and it is so disorienting haha)

- oh nhs looking up at his brother like a puppy during the war council T______T baby bird boy

(between this point in the main story and fatal journey it’s very interesting how clearly nhs needs the emotional stability and safety of his brother -- who also seems to be his parental figure -- to function properly, even in his late teens. it looks like he needed more time to grow up than the rest of them even before they were all thrown into this awful bullshit. well he does have a lot of murderkitten brain to grow I guess that’s fair enough lol. wwx has some of the same thing with his sister too)

- whenever lxc and nmj look at each other it feels like the only two adults in the room meeting each other’s eyes like ‘...oh dear’

- aww lwj getting some advice from his brother. this poor kid really hasn’t been raised to handle the moral complexity of the real world huh, good thing lxc is here to lend some nuance to lan qiren’s unforgiving dogma

- oh lan zhan

- nmj’s plan to just idk somehow go in alone and fight the wen overlord mano a mano to avoid any more casualties... a spine made of steel, a heart made of gold, a head made of wood :’) truly a perfect man, good thing his brother got the brains in that family and he has some more sensible people around him

- in the face of inevitability I plead... jiang yanli... please don’t marry this asshole your son is going to be predictably insufferable

wwx has suffered through so much the last four months or so and yet his real breaking point is seeing his sister cry and can I just say -- relatable content

- NO! NO STOP HURTING HIM HE’S JUST GOOD AND HANDSOME AND DOESN’T DESERVE THIS

(could be applied to like 98% of these characters but in this case it’s nmj b/c I love him)

I do find it very funny and oddly comforting that nmj is literally so fuckn mad that it takes three times as many attacks for the evil sorcery stuff to take him down than we’ve seen used on anyone else fsdkfhasdkj too angry to die  

wHY has my brain chosen for me to attach so deeply to perhaps The single most inevitably doomed person in this entire cast, at this point I’m just being cruel to myself lol

- I can’t describe how much I love the fanficiness of this story, in the best ways. the emotional fallout from the destruction of the lotus pier gets more screentime and attention than the entire sunshot campaign, and that’s exactly how I want it to be.  

- they’ve been doing some great work to establish that the jin are also jeeeeeerks for such a long time, how’s that for foreshadowing

- equal opportunity traitor jgy gets his stab in lol one must respect the grift, though, he’s set himself up pretty darn good

*lxc stops nmj from killing jgy, hello darkness my old friend starts playing in the background*

fatal journey builds nicely on this fundamental thing that the nie boys take their responsibility to their people extremely seriously, it seems to be the fact that jgy so blithely talks about them as necessary casualties that really sets him off

- adlfsdfhsdkjh lxc and nmj meekly being like ‘...we could maybe... not commit war crimes? if that’s at all possible? no?’

*slaps ‘I don’t think you even tried at all’ stars on both of them* (I mean I actually do kind of see where they’re coming from a bit, they just came out of a pretty costly war and I wouldn’t feel too comfortable getting right back into it with arguably the wealthiest faction, who’s also been keeping back a bit and thus kept a lot more reserves. well played jin bastards well played)

- I could stop here. if I stopped here everything would basically be as okay as they could be and the world full of hope still. I suppose the question here is... do I love myself enough to quit while the going is good. and the answer is no I already started the next episode

- I think one incredibly endearing aspect of this version of nmj is that he has a look of faint but permanent worry about him. he walked onto the screen with a vibe of ‘...oh boy I don’t like where this is going’ and he’s just kept going ever since

in the book he’s kind of a flat character (whose one trait is Mad), I love that they’ve given him some depth and nuance here! probably partly down to the actor doing a great job, but this version has a real sort of warmth to him and also seems downright uncertain at times -- he thrives when there’s a clear goal and black and white sides, and is probably not  t h r i l l e d with the weird tentative political situation after they take down the wens lol. thank god he has his little brother to make ‘bitch please’ faces over his shoulder when the jin get weird about things

anyway I’m always on the ‘nhs you are SO valid’ train, but in this version nhs is quadruple valid, in fact only mianmian is more valid in this entire world

- one of my favourite parts of this show is when wwx enters a situation and the camera takes some time to zoom in on the faces of his family and friends to convey their sense of ‘oh god what the fuck is he about to say now’ dread    

- jiang yanli asking her little brother if he doesn’t want to stay with them anymore while crying is emotional kryptonite, help

this poor woman, she had to put all her points into emotional intelligence b/c god knows no one else in this family did

- hell YEAH lan zhan go break some rules!! treat yourself my guy

- hey sis if, theoretically, one hypothetically found oneself in -- for the sake of argument -- love with, as the case may or may not be, someone... how would one tell?? asking for a friend

- the whole summary of this fucking show is just ‘weaponized sibling feels’ everything hurts with foreknowledge why did I keep going

- aw no blindfolded kiss scene but here’s a scene with real earnest emotional intimacy stuff going on instead... I will joyfully take it your honor

- I do value and respect the translators giving us these subtitles so much... but they did also force me to read the words ‘bosom friend’ with my own two eyes right there and that was not very cool of them

- why oh WHY must jiang yanli, best person in the world, have been cursed with the horrible fate of being in love with the dumbest man on the planet

*jiang yanli juggling all the idiot men in her life* oh god my little brother is causing an international diplomatic incident again time to bUCKLE UP

oh ho ho you know shit is getting real when big sister gets mad I LOVE HER. suddenly you see she definitely her mother’s daughter after all lol

wwx crying because his sister just fiercely defended him in public... im uwu

- I hate jgy with all my heart but I do feel bad for him too. his barely faltering :) look while all his asshole relatives gang up on him sdfhskahf

- again the jin are dicks but when it comes to aesthetics they do go off, that’s such a beautiful shade of blue

- dsflhsdakjlfhsdakjfl sd this shot of lwj and nmj right before lxc drinks is the funniest framing imaginable b/c lwj is wearing a look of complete stonefaced

-___________-

and meanwhile nmj, who presumably has seen lxc drunk before since they’re longstanding bros, looks worried as fUCK

- awwwww I do love nhs capitalizing all of jc’s attention so the others won’t start shit with him/so he won’t get to say something publicly he’ll regret later because he’s (understandably honestly) mad at his brother for making his life even more difficult than it has to be (I have every sympathy with wwx but buddy... buddy must you make everything more complicated for your bro every darn time this is a real delicate political situation and he’s not suited for that even without your antics)

it’s a very nhs move because he comes across as slightly boorish and rude and thus leaves jc blameless and thus protected, you can get so far if you have no self respect lol  

- showing us exactly how wen ning died is honestly a little too mean this is not fun

- good god this poor grandma has been through the wringer hasn’t she

- oh. oh wen ning, who never meant hurt anyone in his entire life :(

- listen okay the end is in sight just a couple more horrific tragedies to get through and then it’s the weird romantic comedy buddy cop antics of the current day timeline to ride to the end

- it cannot be overemphasized how much this lan zhan is Baby, I so desperately want to help and protect him

- I’m going to stop shouting out individual actors on this show they’re all goddamn brilliant haha (but am I tho)

- most valid person in the cultivation world mianmian

also enjoying the exemplification of nmj’s character that is ‘not sure how I feel about this dumb kid with the big mouth digging his own grave ever deeper but that girl’s got guts and I respect that’

- wen quing is getting a taste of the dangers and pitfalls of having wwx as a little brother dfhskdalfhsdaklj she and jyl should compare notes (he’s so good tho T-----T)

- how does wwx’s actor have such natural dad energy at such a young age, too powerful

- people give so little thought to how fucked up jc’s situation really is here, like he’s just being an asshole for the sake of it. spend three fucking seconds looking at it with some realpolitik in mind and realize that the clans around him have just shown that they can and will wipe out an enemy clan together if need be, and that his own sect hasn’t even gotten back on its feet after the war that almost wiped it out. like wwx is unquestionably morally right but has gone about it in such a way that it’s real fucking hard to support him without going down with him and how do you calculate that risk when you’re responsible for so many more lives than your own

also so sad about jc being so afraid this entire time that wwx would leave him like everyone else... and now he has :( jc doesn’t handle it well but then who would at this stage

- there is something so pure about a quietly horrified lan zhan getting Dad Advice from these guys (well he’s going to be needing it soon enough so)

oh the utter softness of his face looking at wwx and ah yuan ;_______; thank god, some fluff to bolster my heart before we set off into the last harrowing ordeal here

LAN ZHAN’S ENTIRE FACE LIGHTING UP AT WEI YING ASKING HIM OUT thank fuck there’s still some joy left in the universe

this poor love struck man, someone help him  

lan zhan conscientiously grabbing ah yuan’s toys is fskhdfksjdlfhskjdhf

- lan zhan looking around the demon subduing cave: babe I love you more than life itself but this is tacky as hell

- crying because wen niiiiiing

- crying because sibliiiiiings

okay this is the last time the three of them will be together and nominally happy, need to appreciate it through my tears

- actually I take it back please just let the bad thing happen now so I don’t have to live in suspense anymore lol (...this probably says a lot more about me as a person than I’m strictly comfortable with)

- the fact that none of wwx’s little adopted wen family are AT ALL intimidated by him anymore is just... it’s too much to bear

again tho this book/show is so willing to let you dwell in the emotional stages of things in a very fanfic sort of way, I think it’s what makes the sad parts so much worse (and makes you feel so incredibly attached to these characters)

- I gUESS it’s a testament to jin zixuan’s character that he has any decency at all, considering who his dad is and where he was raised

I’m cracking up at their dad being the one who still doesn’t trust jgy tho lol snake recognizes snake

- jgy’s faint look of ‘are you fucking kIdDiNg me rn’ whenever all these jin douchebags talk is very entertaining. if he didn’t go on to do all that murder and incest and (probably) infanticide I’d sort of cheer for him no matter what kind of sociopath he is

- not to be a downer or anything but isn’t one month a little premature to be celebrating the survival of a baby in fantasy old timey china tho

sometimes I feel like looking back at history is just seeing a whole lot of dead children (and this is why I think that even if god did exist it would be morally inconceivable to worship him! sorry just a quick detour into my personal grudge against the inherent cruelty of the world there, let’s move on)

- it’s uncomfortable to watch even the outlines of the jin sect’s slow insidious stranglehold on power. even these random shopgoing nobodies know that nmj is Not Happy about these watchtowers and that it’s probably going to happen anyway. the jin are snakes but at least they’re clever about it and I do kind of respect that

- oh everything’s about to go so wrong I hate it

NOOOOO don’t make the zombie baby fight, nothing good will come of this

- man this is hitting me worse than lotus pier actually I’m just... crying haha

it’s almost cathartic tho... there’s something about wen quing’s dignity and certainty that really helps? I just really wish they hadn’t brought the whole little group, god I want them to be okay so badly and ah yuan will be all that’s left and. and just throw me into the ocean and let me sink tbh

- I know this is all so much black cgi smoke (pls let us see the red version again at some point btw that was cool as shit) but the emotional metaphor of wwx that you can’t take on more and more of other people’s suffering and trauma and not care for yourself because you will lose control of that at some point is just. very nicely done. (he’s a bit of an odd serial codependent for a lot of the story, isn’t he. thank god lan zhan is not a quitter)

- jin zixuan’s mom is breaking my heart a little here. this lady has been married to THAT GUY all this time and now this as well. sorry lady, I guess jgy probably Took Care Of You at some stage after this

- a) this is just real good acting for wwx. this is the perfect level of unhinged for this, even though I’m always like ‘just. just shut your mouth for one time in your life and stop digging this grave any deeper six feet should be enough for anyone huh’ at this stage of the story and b) I am cackling inappropriately at the shot-reverse-shots between wwx, jiang cheng and jgy. jiang cheng looks like everything he ever loved is falling apart around him and jgy is like ‘oh wow I didn’t even have to provide him any rope he’s doing an excellent job at hanging himself without me’

I love wwx so much but it did take him an unconscionable length of time to realize that when you set big enough things into motion you will not be able to control who it crushes along the way or who might steer it in the wrong direction. other people exist and have agency and a lot of those people are bad honey :(

- ah yes lwj being stopped by a barrier made of the physical manifestation of wwx’s trauma when he tries to reach him :’) this is okay and cool and fine    

- it’s admirably obtuse of everyone to look at wwx at this stage and still think he’s in control of uh anything lol

- oh okay that went better than expected I don’t know if I’m just inured to sadness at this point

jiang cheng looking like a little boy clutching his big sister’s body is tugging at my heartstrings a bit tho

- ooooh this battle hardened intense lwj!!! I guess I can sort of see it now

- oh lan zhan 2, electric boogaloo

- finally! time for some comfort up in this hurt

- my man nmj still so fucking angry in the afterlife that anything even remotely connected to him is shaking with rage in sympathy in the real world. a mood

- fdsahfsjdklfhsdajk wwx being like ‘I can take everyone saying I was evil but how DARE you not mention I was also a snacc’

- when do you think nie huaisang really realized that his brother wouldn’t have children and that he was up for the sect leader seat next? nie mingjue seems to have known pretty far in advance himself and tried to prepare his brother accordingly, but that kid really didn’t want the job so I imagine he’d try to live in denial as long as possible

vaguely related: no other family is ever mentioned by either brother or anyone else, and nie huaisang straight out says that he is the only main disciple (I seem to remember and with the caveat that I might have misunderstood the translation) when there’s the talk of them being sent to the wen as hostages -- I suppose you sort of have to be very selective when your ancestral cultivation method is sketchy enough that you should keep that shit on the down low and you know people die young from it. so I think it’s possible if not probable that huaisang is the last of his family. isn’t that a fun little thing to think about? haha. ha. help me  

- this random street vendor is an unexpected strong comedy performance, every face he makes is pure gold

- fkshafkjsdhfasd best introduction of adult nhs

- the quiet luminous love on lwj’s face whenever he looks at wwx in the present... give this man all the awards. it’s nice that wwx gets to be scared and childish and vulnerable with someone who loves him no matter what too, he’s been through some shit

- oh okay I see so the reason they chose to make fatal journey the way they did was because they already had the set built

- *nhs dropping one set of robes like that one gif from anastasia to reveal another even more luxuriously dandy-ish set under it* oh wow what a surprise to see you two down here, coincidences amirite (anyway here’s the testament to all the sins of my ancestors & a trail of breadcrumbs to lead you to the murderer of my brother)

no wait that’s slightly later isn’t it. well the point still stands

- dead!nmj is truly a mood -- “I don’t know where I am, who I am or what the fuck just happened but I do know that I am PISSED OFF”

(actually in the book I found that almost comforting -- at least the dude got to spend his afterlife doing what he loved (i.e. being angry), but this more nuanced and sympathetic version being trapped like that just. makes me very very sad)

nice of him to stick around to play a few rounds of hot or cold with his little bro’s friends tho lol. I mean from what I understand of this take on canon it’s actually the spirit of his sword and not him in person? but close enough, let me keep him as long as I can okay

- jin ling getting his dumb ass cask of amontillado’d within ten minutes of entering the tomb smh

look at your ROBES young man what is your (other) uncle going to say??

- hAH what did I say. pedagogic mastermind jiang cheng at it again

enjoying the fact that they chose the floofiest most benign-looking of dogs to play this ~*terrifying hound*~ so much

I have a lot of sympathy for jiang cheng, and the actor is doing a good job at aging him up here (not as good as lwj’s but then you can’t beat perfection). the way he’s calcified into bitterness and anger b/c he can’t express his emotions in a healthy nuanced way feels very... real I guess, people get like that sometimes

- I am somehow really endeared to this version of jin ling. a dumb baby, but a baby

- poor lan zhan lol “I LEFT YOU ON YOUR OWN FOR TWO HOURS AND YOU ALREADY MANAGED TO TAKE ON SOMEONE ELSE’S CURSE??? BABE!!!!!!!”

he consistently uses jiang cheng’s personal name too huh. well it is his brother in law I guess ETA: actually I’m an idiot ignore/forgive me, that’s jiang cheng’s courtesy name isn’t it. lan wangji is being salty/maybe-deliberately-maybe-not-(but-definitely-tho) distant/polite with him I think 

- y’know... as I watch lwj carry the love of his life around on his back with all the tenderness in the world and I see people in the comments yell about why do you always need everything to be gay they’re just good friends you’re all crazy... I realize all over again that there really is no level of queerness they’ll ever find legitimate or acceptable. which like. feels bad, but there’s also the freedom in remembering they are always going to be assholes no matter what I do, there’s literally no need to listen to them at any time.

- I am CRACKING UP; watching this episode right after seeing fatal journey sure is a treat hahaha. nhs really must enjoy the acting on a deep level because he is hamming it up and I am living for it    

“It’s nothing at all like unorthodox demonic cultivation methods!” he protests with his big innocent doe eyes, having yelled the exact same accusation at his brother within ten seconds of finding out about it dsfdskjha

- awww that’s such a sweet way of telling nhs who he is while both of them still get plausible deniability :’)

this show is making it a LOT easier to figure out nhs’ deal earlier just through visual storytelling and his reactions when lwj and wwx aren’t looking, but I guess you sort of have to do that without the benefits of selective POVs that you can do in written stories

- lan zhan’s little smirks are such a blessing

- can we talk about how INCREDIBLY rude lwj and wwx are being barging into other people’s ancestral tombs like they own the place. I know I said break some rules lan zhan but there’s such a thing as common decency too at least wipe your feet at the entrance or something

stop being big bullies!!! (nhs actually sounds a little salty at how debonair they are being lol he’s like yeah you’re doing what I want you to but you don’t have to be such dicks about it)

- nooooooo nmj don’t die ur so sexy ahaha (I jest so I do not cry godddddd my heart big brother come baaaaaaack)

I’m honestly finding it very hard to live with knowing that the last thing nmj saw in life was jgy having his little brother in his clutches D:D:D: looking at it like that... of course he came back mad as fuck, I’d probably do the same thing

- boys boys I love and support you but could you maybe not stand around talking about how this was totally a horrific murder like the murderee’s little brother isn’t standing right there?? i mean it’s useful for him but it’s kind of mean of you, I know neither of you were raised in a barn  

okay there’s wwx irrepressible protective instinct that’s better. I just... nhs standing there looking small and sad and soft and lonely isn’t the whole truth but it is part of the whole truth, it’s nice to see wwx being like this even after all those years. (the physical closeness in their friendship in their youth in this version is so gooood. outside of wwx the only two people we see nhs consistently allow close or seek out closeness from is his brother and MENG YAO, who can frankly burn in hell even more than usual for the flute thing in fatal journey.)

- lan zhan contemplating the inherent impermanence of everything good in the world and then immediately getting blackout drunk -- MOOD. also I have never seen a scene where someone so obviously was about to press a soft kiss to someone’s forehead or cheek, don’t worry wwx I see you through the censorship lol

(it’s incredible how well they’ve adapted the love story considering the fact that they technically uh can’t)  

- wen ning: shambles, zombie-like and disheveled with horror movie monster eyes, into frame

all of us: omg a BABY ToT

- live action drunk lan zhan is living up to the hype I am  d y i n g

this poor repressed man

fjskdfsdkjhf he could do sword fighting in his damn sleep probably

I will say that leaving ‘wei wuxian was also here’ is going to scare the crap out of these poor people whose only crime was keeping well fed chickens

- they r so in love someone hold me

- this nmj!kid I am LOSING IT, this is so cute I want to lie face down on the floor and cry

- the yi city arc is my least favourite part of this story, so I’m fortifying myself to get through a couple of hours of sexy baby xue yang here

- Dad/troll teacher!wwx is in fact everything

- oooh wwx has the same weird crooked fingers as me when they’re extended! just some small Facts About Your Friendly Neighbourhood Blogger there

- this is not at all a bad take on ah quing! she qte

- ‘what’s your husband look like?’ song lan, crying: beautiful

- xxc you didn’t think it was a little weird the dude wouldn’t tell you his name -- even a name -- all this time. honestly

I know you’re in a bad place and this is sort of a rebound thing from your actual true love but stop letting him gaslight you like this buddy :(

- time for some MASSIVELY FORESHADOWING PARALLELS my friends

- I don’t know if I’m just a heartless monster but I honestly don’t care that much about anyone but ah quing in this little sideplot lol (probably my complete disinterest in xue yang tainting everything else)  

- xue yang and jgy: the ‘sad backstory dude still inexplicably extra mass murder’ club

- godddd I’m so bored I’ve listened to this guy cackle ~*madly and evilly*~ for three episodes now when will it fucking end

- lan jingjy you are VALID

- fhsdkfhsdkj can’t get over baxia being like ‘OI you two stop gazing soulfully into each other’s eyes for five seconds and get on with avenging me’

must be annoying spending your afterlife in a pouch third wheeling the two most obnoxiously in love people in the world, I think this spirit sword is being admirably restrained and patient all things considered

- big brother I am so sorry you had to hang out under there all this time while this boring bullshit plot happened above you ;________________________;

I’m actually not clear on what the nie sect does with the bodies of the dead -- the saber tomb seems to be exclusively for the weapons/we see that some of the cultivators will go down there while they’re still alive to sacrifice themselves... maybe they go in the walls? I guess nhs is breaking tradition in a lot of ways tho so who knows!

- ‘from what I’ve seen he’s not so bad’ wei ying he smilingly asked you to use POWs for target practice I’ll allow lxc to be this dumb but you really have no excuse

- this duckling in red is a gentleman and a bro, one to watch

- wwx seductively arranging himself in the open window to cover his panic fsdkjfhsda

- lot’s wife WISHES she had the level of salt jiang cheng does

- ‘if they ask me any weird questions I don’t know the answers to I’ll have to pretend to be a total psycho’

lan zhan, dragging his husband with one deadpan face: I’m sure that is going to be a huge feat of acting for you babe

- NIE HUAISANG FALLING INTO FRAME AND LAUNCHING HIMSELF FROM ONE PERSON TO ANOTHER LIKE A GORMLESS WET RAG, I STAN ONE (1) BOY

‘but new problems appeared’  how is he such a mood

again tho you can give your unknowing accomplices so much space to investigate if you just don’t bother with self respect or dignity at any stage of the journey lol

- fjshdfkjlsahd that beat of lan zhan clearly taking a moment to contemplate the idea of wei ying confessing his love naked in public there

- uncle and nephew bonding time T________________T  

- fsakfhsadkjlfhsad I can’t deal with this mission impossible ass music in the background as a little paper gingerbread man scoots around the palace

whoever animated this was clearly having a lot of fun, I love the little details like his dangling legs and him rubbing his lil paper bum after landing

- poor qin su, one of the most screwed over people in this whole show. at least in the book he didn’t mean to

- ah su, you’re being very unreasonable about this, what is a little incest between friends

- straight culture is this being chill to keep in the adaptation but god forbid anyone got a loving queer kiss at any point (not blaming the showrunners at all, they’re clearly stretching the limits as far as they will go and maybe a bit more at a few points)

- YES SISTER CALL HIM THE FUCK OUT I always felt like she’s known something was a little off for a long time but never could put her finger on what exactly

- ‘can you still not let me go’ hey jgy you piece of shit who’s keeping whose head in a weird serial killer cabinet here

- THANK YOU FOR BRINGING HIS HANDSOME ALIVE FACE BACK TO MY SCREEN IF ONLY TO MAKE ME SAD

- he’s so beautiful and righteous and strong 😭😭😭😭 dage come back to us

(makes even more sense that he’s so pissed off about what jgy did if he’s already shown clearly that he’ll shut down the people fucking with him if it’s brought to his attention. he gave you every opportunity you little oh-it’s-never-really-my-fault worm of a man)

- another nmj about to cry warning needed here help me

dON’T FUCKING TOUCH HIM YOU SLIMY FSKJLDHFKSJDHFSKDJLHF

the nie traits are undying loyalty, rage, and the intergenerational trauma of watching your parental figures succumb to death and madness through the same cultivation path you practice

- my cause of death: nmj’s eyes shining with unshed tears

this version has that edge of vulnerability to him, you suddenly do realize he was once just a kid watching his dad die a horrifying death and then having to take on all that responsibility and raising his brother

nie boys unfailingly devoted to the people under their protection I’m gonna go bury myself under a tree or something

- I’ve had to turn the volume down so I can barely hear anything b/c my emotions are too big to for my dumb body to contain already I can’t listen to this

- extremely sad but also a little funny that part of the reason nmj died was that he had no interest whatsoever in the arts. ‘music is music right?’ says local jock

- I’ve just been whimpering the last twenty minutes this is awful

- huaisang’s voice breaking on ‘big brother, it’s me’... sdlakhgsdjklfhsadjkghsdkjlfhdskljhgsdalkhgsdklgjhsdjklhgkdjslhgjskd I’m going to the bottom of the mariana trench and I’m staying there goodbye

- I can’t wait to watch nie huaisang end this putrid trash man’s whole career in the most devastating way possible tbh

- I’m just so SAD T______________________________T I hate jgy so much my heart burns with it I’m so glad he’s about to get some dramatic irony shoved up his -- but I digress

- haha poor jin ling standing there watching all this messed up shit like ‘O.O thanks i’m nine’

- I wish I was as good at passing the fuck out on command as nhs, I feel like it would solve a lot of my problems

- just some low key soulmate shit no biggie

- wwx is basically fantasy old timey naked again here the SCANDAL except no scandal they’re clearly married

- wwx is being so much more patient with lxc than I would have found it in my heart to be at this stage. he’s like ‘lxc you are my brother in law and I truly appreciate you and everything you’ve done for me but it’s sadly up to me to gently confront you with all the ways you’ve been a dumb ho just b/c you think jgy has pretty dimples 😔’

- “You’re not qualified to talk to me” oh lwj I love you so much. I thought committing murder was forbidden by the lan sect rules but there you go  

- it honestly baffles me that some people think nmj would be the strictest parental figure in this universe when a) everything about huaisang suggests otherwise and b) lan qiren is right there

madam yu has that ‘super unforgiving to her son’s face but will also tear anyone criticizing him a new one’ mixed energy too  

- lqr: I raised a perfect obedient righteous cultivator

me & wei ying: you’ve ruined a perfectly good boy is what you did look at him he’s too repressed to breathe

- well their dad clearly paid enough attention to worldly matters that two kids resulted from it, I’m not quite sure where we’re going with this lxc

one’s an accident two’s a pattern etc.

- wow I was so confused about ‘confidante’ being used here b/c it makes absolutely no sense in context, and the comments helpfully informed me that it’s more accurately translated to ‘soulmate’ or something like that; that does make a whole lot more sense yeah

- bb!lan zhan kneeling in the snow is more than anyone’s supposed to have to live with tbh

- lxc being like ‘so yeah my brother will keep loving people long after they’re gone and unable to give him love back! just a fun fact there, something to think about anyway here’s wonderwall’

- soft, ever-so-slightly messy haired at home lan zhan deserves the world

- oh wwx’s shift away from thinking the truth doesn’t matter at all to realizing the truth of you being held fully and with love by one person in your life is enough as lwj plays their song ;______________________________; this is almost more romantic than a kiss scene would be honestly jesus christ  

- little apple is the best of us tbh

- apologies but they have 100% started to fuck off-screen at this stage, the looks wei ying is giving him dsafasdfhsjkd

- I take it back mianmian and little apple are the best of us

- imagine just finding the light bearing lord, second peerless jade of lan in his immaculate white clothes, peeking out from between your hay bales one day

- the exponential increase in lan zhan’s blessed little smiles lately: my oh-they-fawking thesis is validated yet again

- wei ying lying through his teeth: of course I remembered your face at once who do you take me for  

(lan zhan: smirks in quiet satisfaction)

- walejhgskdjhgsjdaklfhsadjkflafhsjakdsf wen ning is so cute I don’t know what to do with myself

- wei ying this is where you first asked him out of course he remembers

- lan zhan is like ‘oh shit I forgot to tell him about our son and at this point I’m kind of embarrassed to bring it up’

- I am NOT thinking about the lotus pond they made for him here, you can’t make me

- ‘the worst time in their lives’ yeah, but there was such love there too. it  h u r t s 

- the actor for wen ning is so good at making his expressions look deeply earnest but also a little uncanny, like moving his face doesn’t come naturally to him anymore but his Good Boyness shines through

- DRAGGED in public by his own son. rip wwx he had a good run of it before his untimely murder

- wow thank goodness sect leader yao survived all this time, his death would as we all know have been a huge loss to society as a whole

- “I’m just here to round up the numbers” I love him more than I can convey to you in words

I’m a simple person, I hear nhs’ chronically befuddled voice and a burst of pure joy is released in my heart

sdfhjksadhfsad his soft little 😕 face peeking out from behind people’s shoulders fkjsdhfsdjal

- will I ever get enough of nhs masterfully manipulating a situation through his own apparent cowardliness and uselessness? no is the answer to that it’s always entrancing to watch

nhs as a teacher, nodding sagely as his disciples exchange glances: it’s never too late to go home instead of going big. saying ‘fuck this i’m outta here’ is always an option

- also nhs seemingly doesn’t use a saber at all anymore, where he at least used to have one back in fatal journey times. I’m very happy he’s trying some new things, time to break that very sad traumatic chain of dying young and furious

also him getting someone else to do the work of fixing the ward or whatever fskdfhaskdlf

teacher nhs, waving his pupils away b/c he’s busy painting or something: class dismissed. and remember, if at all possible, get someone else to do your homework for you. as long as you don’t get caught that’s an automatic A

- wwx is literally the cat surrounded by knives meme here lol

- lol lol lol wwx just removed his outer tunic thing to reveal lan zhan’s undershirt still under there and you can see lan qiren silently seethe with ‘that little hussy has seduced my nephew away from the righteous path’

(do I personally believe in slut shaming of any kind? nah it’s dumb as fuck. do I think lqr does? yeah)

- hahaha I can’t tell if nhs’ slightly glazed look here is b/c wwx did something he didn’t plan for him to do or if it’s because he’s for all intents and purposes half naked in front of them. (tbh I think there’s a case to be made in this version that he has a sort of wistful would-never-act-on-it-for-a-million-different-reasons-lan-zhan’s-furious-jealous-stare-being-foremost-of-them crush on both wwx and lwj from back when they were teens)

- WOW all these dicks inviting themselves to lotus pier!!! r u d e

- lan zhan flexing on lan qiren by raising a happy well adjusted child even while he’s mourning the love of his life: what like it’s hard

- wen ning kept that toy for sixteen goddamn years don’t touch me

- I’m crying about jin ling give me a moment. he is baby okay he’s even younger than ah yuan by at least four years

the image of him hugging the only thing he’s got left of his dad... fsdalkfhasdjlkfhsjdakhfsjdk

- lan sizhui has a crowd of good uncles/dads and poor jin ling has a crowd of utter disaster uncles and it’s very unfortunate (yes wwx is on both of those lists)

it is very sweet that it’s jiang cheng who consistently actually looks out for him, even in his feelings-wtf-are-feelings sort of way. the least disaster uncle, but only by comparison lol

- I think this ouyang kid might be duckling in red from before? LOVING the interspersed nhs reaction shots to him, anyway fsakdfh (I’m going to make it sad: how many conversations like this do you think he had with his brother as a kid? that’s fine we can both cry now I don’t want to be alone in this)

- ‘mr ning’ im Y___________________________________Y

- extremely Here for yet another full costume change from nhs hahaha (he’s changed at the boat already, god knows how he pulled that off but I’d expect no less from him)

- nhs must have been a sect leader for at least a decade at this point, and he still manages to exude such a powerful ‘kid at the adult’s table’ aura. incredible. mindblowing, inspirational

- ...oh they went with the same version of the previous jin leader’s death huh (but GOD FORBID that anyone should be openly gay amirite lol) O___O again though WHY is jin ling here, jiang cheng??????? he’s like sixteen, he’s never going to dare to even kiss anyone after this

- nhs has the look of a man who’s had to sit on this disgusting knowledge alone for years and finally gets to share that icky burden around, merry christmas everyone if I have to know about this so do you

- I don’t know if this is just me imagining things or reading more into it than what’s there, but I think nhs is actually sitting in the same pose his brother used to a lot in this part of the scene (the upright posture with palms resting at the top of the thighs/hips, fingers turned inwards/towards each other; it looks sort of... solid and self-contained, I guess)

- I would call jgy knowingly committing the incest character assassination if he’d had enough character to assassinate even in the book, I would never have put it past him

- y’know... god knows nmj had flaws (I think my immense depth of love for him in this version comes precisely from how hard he tries even while being deeply flawed. him dumb but him always trying :’) well actually he’s not dumb at all, he’s shown to be pretty darn politically savvy, I’m just having a hard time finding the right word here. ‘inflexible’ is maybe closer ), but the big defining difference between him and jin guangyao (and consequently xue yang) is that both of the latter are completely open about the fact that they see themselves as more important than anyone else -- xue yang considers one of his fingers worth more than fifty people’s lives, jgy kills twenty sex workers as a mere afterthought to his own revenge on his father. meanwhile nmj gets Messed Up by people dying under his protection to the degree that he came up with one of the dumbest plans I’ve ever heard just so he’d be the only one at risk, just so no one else would get hurt anymore. hmnghsjhfs.   

- wen ning, proudly: my sister was the best doctor in the world 

me, openly crying: she sure was buddy

- wwx: hey lan zhan are there any sweet patient lan ladies with an open mind around

lwj: ...why

wwx: I just think our zombie son should start thinking about getting friends, maybe even a real home

lwj, subtly relieved: oh

- JIN LING BABY BOY NOOOO D:D:D:

- nhs I need you to come in and end this man I cannot look at his awful face anymore

- ugh this garrotte sound effect is really unpleasant actually well done

- THERE HE IS!!! conveniently swooning his way into the scene again, my guy ;_______; smol and soft-looking and about to utterly obliterate a man on every conceivable level 

I love every moment of the camera dwelling meaningfully on his innocent vulnerable face, this is going to be so great 

it’s too bad he’s a behind the curtain sort of dude, I would kill for a poirot-style ‘I’m sure you’re all wondering why I’ve gathered you here in the library’ moment here lol

- tbh jiang cheng’s got a point about that whole ‘making huge sweeping decisions about someone else’s life and never telling them about it’ thing

wwx has sort of structured himself as a person so that you’ll never be allowed to really reciprocate his dedication and sacrifices (unless you’re lz lol), and while that is a very sympathetic trauma reaction essentially it is sort of a dick move interpersonally.

- the weight and wisdom that comes along with the scars of older wwx... you love to see it

- nhs, with effortless grace, rousing from his disney princess slumber just as the real drama’s about to begin... your honor he is simply the best

-  T__________________________________________________________T big brother 

- the tinge of coldness in nhs’ eyes while he watches jgy through this whole scene even as he keeps up the ‘im baby don’t worry about me’ act.............. fashdfjlksdahfslkadj, not to say askfksjhafkjsldhfkjsalhfksjaldhfkls

- to say that jgy has perhaps ‘gone overboard with this’ might be the biggest understatement of any century lxc

- watching him kneel by his brother’s coffin here I’d like to propose that Nie Huaisang has exactly the same capacity for all-consuming rage as the rest of his family, except he can’t just vent it by hitting something real hard with a haunted murder saber so he has to get creative and that was real unfortunate for Jin Guangyao  

- one thing that’s always tickled me is that nhs did give jgy the choice. the people around him -- the people he claims to love -- could have been left out of it, no dishonor being brought to either his name or any of theirs... if he’d been willing to sacrifice himself. (probably a gambit where he knew that was never going to happen, but still!)

- nhs standing there in the background like ‘yeah yeah we all have horrifying family legacies buddy, we just don’t knowingly marry our sisters or arrange for mass murders over it’  

- arguably killing the previous jin leader could actually count as a good deed if not for the horrifying way he did it lol. jgy all over, he could have done something helpful, *john mulaney voice* and then he didn’t he just killed nineteen innocent women while he was on a roll instead

- while it’s sort of bullshit that some responsibility is taken away from wwx in jin zixuan’s death here it’s also making a bit more sense to me like this -- seems like an uncharacteristic gamble from jgy to just idk hope wwx would lose control at exactly the right/wrong moment. wwx is still at fault for how casually he treated wen ning as a weapon when he didn’t know what the consequences could be, I’m okay with this

- jin ling and the terrible horrible no good very bad week :( protect him

wow lan xicheng let’s stand around some more letting this awful excuse for a person tell this sixteen year old boy that his parents deserved to be murdered basically, I’m sure there’s a lot more fruitful discussion still left to be had here  

- talk shit about nie mingjue’s brother get hit su she hell YEAHHHHHH

big brother still looking out for him I’m fsdklfhajsdlhf 😭😭😭

- I’M SO FULL OF FEELINGS ;________________________________; at least in this version the implication feels more like he’s finally at peace? (hilariously wwx managed to purge/cleanse the saber spirit, which is the entire conflict of fatal journey haha, nhs really did get his best friend to do his homework for him yet again, INSPIRATIONAL)

- HELL YEAH FINALLY GET REKT YOU PIECE OF SHIT! PRESS F TO PAY RESPECT EXCEPT JOKE’S ON YOU I’VE GOT NO RESPECT TO PAY

They did do away with any and all ambiguity around nhs here and I’m totally cool with it, that was awesome

- I’m playing the world’s tiniest little violin right now, wow much sad fuck you and your dumb hat

- may I just say that the fact that jgy uses his last moments on earth to make lxc, a person he proclaims to love, feel as bad as possible about his now inevitable death even though it clearly wasn’t really his fault... is just proof that he has never actually loved anyone at all except possibly himself 

contrast with wwx, who tells jc that he’s sorry, dries his tears in the here and now and says to let the past go because there’s nothing either of them can do about it now and there’s no point in hurting themselves over it again and again anymore. jgy has the opportunity to give a similar kindness here and instead twists and twists the knife, so lxc will be in as much pain as possible when he’s gone. he’d rather be kept alive in lxc’s suffering than let him, someone he ‘loves’, ever heal and be happy. anyway I hope hell is real shitty for you jgy

- jgy you absolute piece of shit you couldn’t let my man have TEN FUCKING MINUTES to nap in peace? after sixteen years of your fuckery? urgh bye  

- nhs looking at lxc sadly when lxc can’t see him... one last ‘I don’t know’ finally closing out his arc... I love all of this so much, there’s such a nuance of... he is genuinely a bit sad about causing lxc pain but he also doesn’t regret what he did At All. (I guess most of what he’s done must be pretty easy to rationalize/justify to himself, since the vast majority of his work went into finding the horrible shit jgy has done and showing them the way home to roost, rather than creating fresh suffering from scratch. and then there’s also the whole mo family but uh well eggs omelettes amirite lol)   

- lan qiren telling people not to run or talk loudly b/c they’re at a temple, even under these circumstances fhakjsldfhkjsdafhkjsaldhf 

- god the casting people for this show have a perfect track record of finding heartwrenchingly cute kids my GOD

- jfdsafhaskdjfh I love how they’ve done the moment with the hat -- the way the flashback sort of indicates that nhs does recognize on a deep level that the dude he just killed was someone’s son, was after all once an innocent child, like anyone... and again, it doesn’t make him regret it. he looks tired and sort of empty, but not like he’d take any of it back. he’s seen jgy for all that he was, good and bad, and made his decision. his reaction to seeing his hands ever so slightly stained with blood is mostly ‘...eh sure’ (and he knows none of this will ever bring his brother back and I am HURTING) . just. I love him so much what an interesting character 

- lan zhan raised a child who can talk about his feelings, unprecedented & wondrous 

who’s chopping onions in here

- never getting over ah yuan being the best person in the world at roasting his dad 

- okay okay okay I’m going to have some incoherent feelings here -- the expression on nhs’ face right after wwx asks him if he intends to be chief cultivator is just... hm. how do I describe this. it looks almost like he’s thinking ‘oh yeah I forgot you don’t actually know me anymore (yeah okay that’s my bad)’? the previous scene is about lwj and wwx, The symbolic representation of true love in this world, naming each other/knowing each other for exactly who and what they are. that’s the thematic victory in this story; to be truly known, accepted and loved for the entirety of who you are, if only by one person in your whole life. (notably all sorts of love, parental, familial, platonic etc., not just romantic/sexual) and to get his victory, nhs has had to completely forsake that because his whole plan hinged on it; he hasn’t been emotionally honest with anyone for well over a decade at this point. no one really knows or understands him, and if someone ever did he’s long dead now and never coming back. and in this one moment both wwx and nhs seem to come to the quiet understanding that neither of them are who they used to be as kids and it’ll never be like it used to be again, and reach a sort of live-and-let-live truce about it.  d u d e this goddamn story 

(after all part of the reason jgy is so incredibly terrified of nmj is that he’s the first person to see straight through his bullshit to who he is behind it, and that it’s u g l y  back there. jgy + nmj = being known without being accepted or loved (b/c honestly he doesn’t deserve to be loved or accepted yeah there we go I said it), jgy + lxc = being accepted and loved without being known, which turns into disaster all around.)

- man this was actually a really solid adaptation, it was excellently done! they did rush a bit towards the end there (it was never explained why jgy didn’t kill sissi along with all the other sex workers in this version, for example, leaving a rather substantial plot hole, and they never reveal why exactly lan zhan had to take over as sect leader which breaks off lxc’s arc at the end), but all in all that was wonderful and even added some stuff I liked better than in the book! now please god never let mtxt write a sequel, just let them be in this happily ever after, all of them have been through enough ;________;

- also the music was truly epic! I don’t even begrudge them using some parts more often and blatantly than what’s probably necessary, I want to wallow in this love theme as much as the next person lol

- what am I going to do with hours upon hours of my life now? I don’t know either, I suppose I will just have to find some way to hobble on 

[heartofsurgingflame]

hey hi so basically would you please do us all the honor of maybe saying your opinions on all the characters of tcomc? I know you love V4, just curious about your opinions on everyone else

*CRACKS KNUCKLES* ok so im gonna put this under a readmore because theres a good amount of these bitches. i’;ll look on wikipedias list of characters so i dont forget anyone

dantes/monte cristo: I LOVE HIM A LOT ACTUALLY, i know i dont talk about him as much as i talk about veeyfour partly because everyone likes him so everyone talks about him but theyre tied for my favorite character .... i relate to him a lot and i want him to be happy :(

abbe faria: i dont tend to like static characters often but the concept of an old guy you meet in prison who knows everything and adopts you, and also hes a priest, is so fucking funny so i have to like him. rest in peace my old bro

bertuccio: he sucks because hes mean to v4- just kidding i enjoy him. he’s a good guy i think, definitely a better person than v4, only thing i can really complain about is his whole “oo benedetto is a nasty little man because i didnt hit him” for personal reasons i strongly dislike that but hey it was the 1800s

luigi vampa: ok so hes one of those people who you can only refer to them by their full name. i think hes good as well. wise bandit leader. monty how do you even meet these people

peppino: oh god i dont even remember this one that well sorry

ali: don’t like that he exists..... slavery’s bad

baptistin: dont remember forming an opinion on this guy either

jacopo: he’s cool i guess. i like how they changed him in 2002. absolute bro

haydee: THAT GIRL IS DAUGHTER TO ME i used to be ehhh on her but then i realized i just don’t like that she and monty get married. she’s fucking good

mercedes: *WAILING* definitely one of my favorites i get so emo over her i really wish she had a more fulfilling ending. i would like to have seen more of what she was like pre-dantes getting sent to prison too, she was really fun at the beginning of the book like she would Not take fernand’s shit

fernand: awful awful man and i think he should’ve suffered more but as a character i like him he’s just... kind of a moron but also evil and half of everything he says ever is a lie

albert: who could forget dear albert he’s fucking crazy in a good way like it makes sense because mercedes was very like... set in her decisions and kind of drastic with what she says in the beginning of the book. and fernand is fernand. like you know his parents are crazy so he’s crazy. he’s a good kid though despite being a rich brat

franz: god bless him he’s the only one who realizes monte cristo is kinda suspicious. unless you count countess g---- but she just thought he was a vampire. but it’s good to have franz itd be a bit boring if monty was like loved by everybody instantly

danglars: YES i like him a lot he’s just evil and does not feel remorse he’s really fucking funny too because he’s a cuckold but he owns it. you know

hermine: well she was fuckin . that’s her prerogative i guess. has good taste in men except for her husband. i think she can do whatever she wants

eugenie: *SHOOTS LASERS FROM MY EYES* I LOVE HERRR i take back saying her mom should be able to do whatever she wants eugenie is the one who should be able to do whatever she wants forever. like she was not in the wrong at all unlike some people in this book

villefort: ok i know you know bhow i feel about this man but i just want to say he’s like... i think i don’t have a single issue with him the way he’s written is just so good and i wouldn’t change anything which is insane. yes im serious i wouldnt even make him actually gay because, thatd be weird, he is evil. also i relate to him too not as much as i relate to monty usually but

renee: what did she do even i guess i dont have much of an opinion on her. i like her dog in that one fuckign i watched like 2 episodes of the british miniseries the one in black and white. she has a little fluffy dog in it

the saint-merans: i guess theyre pretty funny because theyre rich people and have to put up with the way that villefort is. i love how all of villefort’s extended family just destroys each other

valentine: not a huge fan of the subplot with her and max, like i understand its narrative purpose and i wouldnt take it out by any means but i dont really care about those two together. i do like her quite a bit though. she managed to break the cycle of being a shitty person because of your family and im proud of her for that

noirtier: LEGEND he made a few points. like fuck napoleon but noirtier at least had a spine , perhaps a bit too much but you know how it is. he’s really funny because he does not respect his son in any way

heloise: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I REALLY LIKE HER nobody properly appreciates her like i’ve seen people view her as just a punishment for villefort like   shes her own person. and though murder is bad shes kind of a victim of the way that society was. similar to villefort. the problem is capitalism am i right

edouard: WHAT son? i don’t have an opinion on him

benedetto: he’s the closest i can come to disliking a tcomc character. like i dont like that ali exists but that’s dumas’s fault. benedetto is uh. horrible. he’s a bit funny though (sorry i keep saying characters are funny) is it hypocritical of me to be like i dont like benedetto because he’s evil but like danglars because he’s evil? maybe

morrel: dantes’s dad #3. he’s a good guy i appreciate that he was fully ready to shoot himself to save his family

maximilian: i like him, not as much as i like valentine but he’s cool

julie and her husband: no opinion really. glad things worked out for them

caderousse: a merderer............ ok i actually like him i’m sorry i don’t pay as much attention to him as i do to v4 fernand and danglars i should. probably change that. i think its funny that wikipedia basically describes him as a tailor who turns to a life of crime

whatever the hell cad’s wife’s nickname was: ok so the chapter where she dies can be interpreted in a number of ways right like i know one is that caderousse was nervous because he had decided to kill her but i like the idea that she had the idea to kill the jeweler first and caderousse was like do i have to and she was like ya. and then he just decided to get her too in the spur of the moment. would have liked to know more about her

dantes’s dad: :( he was nice.... we get like one nice dad and he dies. ok morrel is there too but...

lucien: DANGLARS POLYCULE he’s REALLY funny i like him quite a bit. he’s like. snarky

ok theres like at least 7 other characters but theyre minor and i odnt have much in the way of opinions on them. that’s all

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Abramazing Spider-Man #2 Thoughts

More crap.

Let’s deal out some of the minor positives I have.

The art continues to be nice.

Having a Spider-Man get into heroing via the influence of their love interest is something different for whatever that is worth.

Ben burning the suit only to then immediately regret it was a funny subersion of expectations. It made me chuckle.

The only thing I noted as derivative of older Spider-Man stories was the cliché burning of the costume in the backyard.

The recap page did a good job of catching up new readers. Yes. I’m praising the recap page. Let that sink in.

Okey dokey that’s enough now.

Whilst last issue initially made me vaguely interested before chatter surrounding me converted me into hating it, this issue was more bland and going by through the motions.

The thing is last issue so utterly tainted my (and everyone else’s) experience that I am struggling to look past the fact that this is obviously amateurish and actively deceptive of the readers.

That’s perhaps made me resentful to most of the things in the story, I know I’m probably not being fair and balanced in my approach to it.

But all I can say here is how I felt about the book and how I felt about it was supremely unimpressed.

I want to address some tiny points before diving deeper. So Peter is a super scientist but somehow he couldn’t find or design a camera that would work better for him as a one handed man?

Benny clearly never used the webshooters before and yet he’s swinging around with a degree of experience that doesn’t make sense when it’s literally his first try. Hell he’s even carrying someone while he’s at it.

I also don’t get the passage of time or the physics of the web swinging scene. So they are standing on the ground, he shoots a webline, smash cut to a splash page of them swinging, with the dialogue clearly conveying the latter clearly follows the former. Comic books are sequential storytelling. One scene or sequence should lead into another, in particular when conveying movement. Ron Frenz was a master at this, rarely if ever, were you questioning how characters moved from Position A to Position B. I don’t know if this was Pichelli’s fault or if it was Henry Abrams just wanting a cool shot but it sucks.

The recap page claims that Ben accidentally hit the bully from last issue harder than he meant to, and maybe I’m just forgetting something, but I did not get that impression. So good job telling me stuff about last issue that the story itself failed to convey.

Finally Faye Ito/Ito Faye/Asian Michelle Jones/Benny’s Manic Pixie Dream Girl stereotype collides face first mid swing into a billboard. But she’s fine. She’s not even scratched or banged up? What? Would that have made her less pretty or something? Also I guess that scene was a callback to Spider-Man 2002, but I’m not griping about that.

Let’s move on to the more significant problems with the comic book.

I’m not the first person to point this out, but I think it bears repeating, this comic book feels like a movie, and I mean that in a bad way.

The panelling feels like a fill storyboard more than a comic book, it’s not making great use of the things you can do with the medium or the space provided. You want a great example of the opposite check out the art in Absolute Carnage: Seperation Anxiety #1.

Tied in with this criticism is the idea that the Abrams (well Abrams the younger) have developed this story like a film.

I am going to slightly disagree here. I think it’s more as though they’ve designed this as a prestige TV mini-series with a Hollywood film budget. I say this because the way this issue starts and finishes feels like a Netflix episode more than the second half hour of a movie.

Part and parcel of that was the obnoxiously incremental advancement of the Cadaverous and Peter subplots. Cadaverous spewed random cryptic nonsense that existed more to remind us he existed than actually accomplish anything.

Peter’s job overseas...again, why is he not just a scientist if he’s retired altogether? He’s not even a science photographer, he’s basically a grizzled Jimmy Olsen or something. Peter became a shutterbug because it was convenient, he didn’t really want to do that long term as a career, his ambitions lay in science, a job that if anything would be far more accommodating for his disability than going to dangerous parts of the Middle East to awkwardly snap photos. It’s not even like being a scientist would preclude him from getting away from NYC or his son if that’s the idea. He could be travelling for conventions and conferences. I also don’t get why we needed as many scenes of Peter overseas as we got nor why it bothered to linger on the tragedies experienced by the people there. It wasn’t like it was a lot but it’s panel time that could be put to better use. At best it felt like a pretentious attempt at being deep, at worst it might be set up that plays into the story later. The thing is the Middle East doesn’t really make for great Spider-Man stories, nor indeed most international conflicts.

Getting into the meat of this issue...Faye...fuckign Faye.

She’s a cliché.

In fact lots of stuff in this story is cliché, it’s just that unlike last issue they aren’t cliches specifically drawing from older Spider-Man stories, they’re more general clichés.

The thing that really annoyed me with Faye and Benny’s interactions was that she was obviously being played up as a kind of remixed Black Cat/Catwoman due to her costume. Like she’s supposed to be a bad influence on him or something, exemplified by the fact that she shoots down and subverts Peter’s famous motto about responsibility. It didn’t even make sense. Having responsibility gives you power...what?????????????????????????

Benny himself continues to be bland and boring as a protagonist to follow. Like so much of this story thus far he feels like a typical film or TV protagonist having issues with their Dad and in that regard is just going through the motions. I dunno if I’d call him passive per se, but he’s not too far removed from being passive that’s for sure; but not as passive as Aunt May.

I mean blaming his Dad for abandoning being Spider-Man and his mother’s death. I practically predicted the dialogue from the moment that scene started up and whilst okay it’s never been done in Spider-Man before strictly speaking it’s so generic to countless other forms of media, including other superhero comic books, it’s just banal.

His belief that he is a freak is also questionable, specifically it brings into question the world building of this universe. Were this a world where only Spider-Man existed as a hero (more or less like the Raimi movies) then that’d be fine. Even in a world of mutants that’d also be fine, though you’d imagine mutant acceptance would’ve 10+ years removed from when Peter was active. But so far this version of the Marvel Universe feels very generalized in regards to the MCU.

It’s like the Spider-Man and MJ of this universe were generalized versions of the Raimi films iteration, jammed into a generalized version of the MCU where mutants do not exist and the 2012 Avengers are THE Avengers. But if that’s the world Benny grew up in, why would being born with powers make him jump to ‘freak’? He’s just a superhero, that’s cool in a world where there is no mutant stigma and where the Avengers are revered fallen heroes.*

My final criticism is in regards to the final sequence. It was just weird.

Benny and the civilian he was rescuing had dialogue that was far more casual than the situation demanded. Like dude, you’ve been blown up, buried alive and rescued by a bona fide superhero who’s not been seen in 10 years and now killer robots are surrounding you. Who is that chill in such a scenario? Who goes through all that and at the end basically says ‘lol classic Spidey lol’?????

The civilian also had odd dialogue where it was as though Henry was throwing shade at the premise of the book itself, about how lame an older, disabled Spider-Man with a beard and a kid would be.

But like Henry...YOU came up with that? If you think it’s lame why are you making 5 issues worth of it????????????????

My final point is that whilst the artwork is praiseworthy, it’s also far from Pichelli’s best work. It’s in fact noticeably lower quality than the work she was producing on the 2016 Miles Morales titles or even the debut of that character.

My recommendation?

Don’t read this. If you are truly curious wait for the trade to come out and then buy it as cheaply as possible?

As for me, I’m sticking this out to the end but I’m also going to be saving my money and reducing my order to just one copy and have cancelled my pre-order of the trade.

Ever since Spencer showed up I’ve made a concerted effort to support the spider titles I like and want to see more of (that’s code for the titles featuring MJ) and since last issue deceived me and this issue failed to impress, I don’t want more work like this from Marvel in the future.

*Also I’m going to be pissed if it turns out a chucklefuck like Cadaverous wound up taking out the Avengers somehow. Like really, this clown did them in?