#look I’m using fandom to cope I know this is serious | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

weebsinstash · 6 months ago

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I’m sending this again because it might’ve been eaten by tumblr. (this is meant for hazbin but if you wanna write about a different fandom go wild!)

I like the idea of a Reader who is obsessed with not being humanoid. Maybe they purposely get themselves hurt by angelic weapons so they have to replace body parts. They’re so infatuated with being ‘upgraded’ that they don’t even realize someone is in love with them.

idk i just like the idea of it :p

I think I might've briefly covered this idea before but I keep thinking about a computer Reader who is in a relationship with... Jesus I can't decide anymore, any of the applemedia boys individually or just all three lol, where you're a computer/bot person and one day the boys come home and you're just. Completely different

You're all happy and excited to show them how you've changed your body, or maybe you discovered you have new powers all of your own, and the change in your appearance, at least to them, is... significant. Your head might be a completely different shape. Your voice may even sound differently. You might even be taller than before.

Just the idea of you all but racing to the door because you're so happy to show them this thing you think is so cool, or maybe it's a surgery you've saved up money for and worked REALLY hard for, and just... picture their smiles literally falling off of their faces (except Alastor but, it's as close to a grimace as he can manage). They're looking at you with clear shock, and it breaks your heart instantly. This is you, and your body, and who you are, and they... they don't like it? Even if they come around and apologize to you, your trust has been broken, and maybe even for extra drama, they catch you cheating on them, because since you no longer feel comfortable with any of them, you need the approval and touch of someone who DOES find you desirable

I've actually also mostly had the inverse of your idea a lot tbh, where Reader has a very tech-y box-like computer head and is a lot like Vox, but you hate your Sinner body so so so much that you find a way to make a new one. Alastor and the rest meet Fake You which is basically just a significantly more humanoid robot that you got looking shockingly like the old human you via some magical technological knowhow, and your real body is just, intentionally hidden away in your closet, plugged into an outlet or something, and you occasionally have to let your fake body recharge and cool down, which is 'sleeping' in your bed

Like I know I'm mentioning different ideas at once, but can you even imagine it. You're dead and you're getting massive body dysmorphia because you have this giant fucking weird head and all the parts of you that made you YOU are no longer flesh and bone but something else, something entirely different, and you're so incredibly disgusted and disdainful of this change that you can't even look at reflections of yourself? Then you find out how to make this, fake secondary body you can basically just transfer your consciousness into, and it's basically like a game avatar you can customize however you want, and you make it look basically exactly how your human body used to look, maybe with some slight Hell based alterations so you don't draw too much attention like horns and a different skin color, and while all of that is kind of a form of denial, it helps you cope with the trauma of being dead

Now imagine you're now basically living every single second inside of that fake body. It's not designed to eat. It's not designed to sweat. It's not designed to cry. But you're so extremely disgusted by your true form that you do basically everything but the absolute essentials in your new body, being in it basically 18/7 (cause God knows you're not letting yourself sleep and fully recharge either; can't risk anyone finding your secret while you're asleep)

I'm serious. Just imagine what would happen if you were awkwardly forced into this situation where your 3 very pushy soulmates are constantly basically forcing their way into your apartment, and you never want to eat in front of them, you forbid them from entering your bedroom, you don't cry in front of them, and one of them eventually basically completely ignores your boundaries and wanders into your bedroom, which is not only a complete depression cave but then they find the actual you, sleeping in the closet, on the floor, not even on a bed. There's little bags of trash laying around you like this, this living device you have become never leaves this small, cramped room. Maybe you've even cut a hole in the door and installed a slot where you just pass food and trash back and forth and you hate your true body so much you don't even let it leave the closet, even have it locked from the outside or you're pushing a piece of furniture in front of the door or something

Like literally, all three men awkwardly cramming themselves in your small walk in closet to crowd around "your real body" in awe while the fake you is getting upset and telling them they need to leave, you hate them, you don't want to be with them, whatever you think might make them leave, and they're just, looking down at your body that you've been keeping in the closet, sleeping on just some laid out blankets like some kind of shitty futon, and you show signs of being damaged, almost like something has been hitting and kicking your body in fits of rage, even showing outright signs like self harm like scratches or scrapes or cuts on your body with a box cutter from your job still on the floor nearby. This closet is so cramped, with no light sources inside of it besides maybe some candles, and you've moved all your actual clothing into boxes or drawers outside the closet to completely commit the small space to being a depressing, dark prison

and then your tummy growls and, that does it, they're instantly demanding you tell them how to "transfer you" back into your original body so you can get something to eat, and quickly making it pretty clear that they're not very receptive to the fake vessel you now inhabit. You did all of this because you hated being this, this weird fucking robot, going through all these lengths to get this body that made you feel mildly human again, but then your actual soulmates just, want the body you cast aside, and yes while they are technically objectively correct that you shouldnt be coping like this, in your eyes you see them rejecting "the real you", which is the artifical you you've constructed that looks like your old human self, and are instead choosing this, monstrosity you absolutely hate that borderline disgusts you to be, and you're also feeling like they aren't being considerate to your feelings. They're SO UPSET that you treat yourself like this that once they forcibly disconnect you and force your soul and energy back into your true body, they confiscate if not outright DESTROY your little decoy, which ALSO completely breaks your heart, and they're all, weirdly fetishistic and sappy and doe eyed as you sit there on your closet floor crying tears of frustration and grief and anger from your stupid boxy head because 1. They've never seen you cry before and 2. This is the first time they're basically officially truly meeting "their real soulmate" and seeing and hearing you completely unfiltered (hostile cussing and all)

I just really like how Hazbin has a lot of fantasy and magic in it which really expands the possibility for the kinds of stories we can think about and have fun with and all of you are clearly having fun too, sending me asks way more quickly than I can answer them. We're all having fun here for sure

#yandere hazbin hotel #yandere x reader #vox x reader #alastor x reader #sinprompts #hh

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theladyfulcrum · 2 years ago

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Come here children. Come here. Sit down. Take my hands. Listen.

Here’s what we are not going to do. We are not going to let them unravel us and leave us in a heap of bawling bodies. They want us to sob until our eyes fall out and we rupture our abdominal organs because they’re heartless and sadistic and part of STAR WARS—shhh, steady—but we are going to remain CALM. Call it denial, call it call it bargaining, call it what you will, but he’s not gone.

Deep breaths, all together now. Crying is cathartic and necessary for coping with the emotional abuse we endure at the hands of Filoni et al., but don’t cry from lost hope. I’m serious. Was it among the worst things we could have possibly been forced to watch? Has a good majority of the fandom been mulling where the hell we are supposed to find the will to go on after that? Of course. But they’ll be back. And Tech will be, too.

Hush, child. Listen to me.

There was a reason he fell into cloud-cover. He could have been falling into anything. Water can be lethal from that height, yes, but let’s all just remember what Hunter pulled in War-Mantle with falling OUT OF A SHIP and down a LITERAL MOUNTAIN and surviving that with JUST HIS KNIFE. HIS KNIFE, KIDS. Tech accepted what he was doing, and he was okay with dying if that was what this meant, but he’s Tech. Once he fell from view he did whatever he could to increase his odds of getting out of it alive. Trust.

Speaking of falling from view— we know the Clone Wars rules. No body, no confirmed death. Forget that— we know the STAR WARS rules. Even if someone gets SLICED IN HALF before your VERY EYES and FALLS AN INDETERMINABLE-BUT-DEFINITELY-NOT-SURVIVABLE DISTANCE, they STILL aren’t dead. Further still, if you had put the two scenes in front of me with no context, I would have said Echo’s death in an EXPLOSION of FIRE seemed more final and certain that Tech falling away from us. And no, I don’t care about the argument that it’s a kId’S ShOW so they wouldn’t show us the body. Go watch Colt’s death and get back to me. Or you know, pretty much any Clone Wars episode.

BUT THE GOGGLES, you wail. I know, dear heart, I know. I see the cracks in them every time I close my eyes. But Hemlock getting his hands on those isn’t confirmation of anything other than what we already know— no matter where he wound up, Tech is having a Very Bad Time™️. Whether he lost them on the extremely unpleasant way down or whether he’s being experimented on in critical condition is hardly a nicer thing to know, but we’ll take just about anything right now if it means we’ll see our boy again, won’t we?

Shhh, I’m not through. We also have that scene with Phee. If it had been a true goodbye, if Tech had shown an ounce of the development he had with Omega about differences in emotional processing and communication, you’d have seen my soul depart through the atmosphere. But no. That scene’s entire purpose was to be unresolved. Was it just to make us incurably sad in retrospect? Maybe. But my gut says no— there’s more he needs to say to her.

On that note, the same goes for Tech and Crosshair. I refuse to believe we’ll never see them together again. I don’t have anything stronger than my refusal, but my feelings on this are rock solid. There’s also the important issue of THE Bad Batch theme— you know how they’ve established a precedent of not using it unless the whole Batch is together? Collectively, we’re going to refuse to believe they’re going to break that now. And there’s too much love for that theme to never hear it again.

Finally, beloveds, we come to our old favorite: story analysis. You know I’m insufferable about this, but listen. If we look at screenwriting, if we look at story structure, if we look at BEATS, this is the old “DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL” for the Batch (and us obviously). It’s the ALL IS LOST. The EVERYTHING IS AWFUL AND THE HEROES ARE AT THEIR LOWEST LOW. It’s the classic “oh my god this second installment is EMOTIONAL TORTURE HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO ME” that we can point to in novels, shows, and film series again and again. It’s the ESB ending, it’s the Catching Fire ending, it’s the Rebels S2 AHSOKA IS D E A D AND ANAKIN KILLED HER ending. S3 will open as they enter Act III, where they use what they’ve learned to move upwards toward the finale of this particular story arc. Doesn’t that sound like something nice to cling to?

There now. If I’m wrong, I’ll give you all the choice of k!lling me first or tossing me alive out of a plane with no *hard swallow* parachute, jet pack, or functional grappling gun. But I truly believe you won’t have to.

In the year or two we have to wait, cry for his absence, cry for the Batch being more fractured and farther apart than they ever have been, cry for Hunter feeling like he’s failed everyone he loves, cry for all of it, but not because you’ve lost hope that all might not be lost.

Tech will be back.

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fernles · 9 months ago

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LEAVE YOUR LOVER (LEAVE HIM FOR ME) ––––– CHARLOTTE / MIA

rating: general audiences warning: just the general feeling of anxiety, but nothing major! fandom: the nursery nurse (webseries)

link to the ao3 version of this is here.

★ in which charlotte's old habits die hard, and mia's there to comfort.

Charlotte had never felt such anxiety.

When she was a child, she would constantly bite at the beds of her fingers, leaving them scarred with ridged edges as she attempted to release any nerves that plagued her mind. Of course, as the years went by, she lost the habit and eventually went away completely, her fingernails left alone. Seemingly, it was as if she had found a coping mechanism to use instead of biting her fingernails down to their beds. Well, that was until the whole fiasco with Jodie and Mia went down, and the overwhelming emotions she felt in the room when she unfolded the information revealed bits of her plan that she had to get rid of Mia.

Mia. The guilt churned in her stomach, threatening to spill over. Her thoughts raced; her heart pounded in her ears. It had never been this intense before — not in years. Charlotte couldn't bear to meet anyone's eyes, her gaze fixed on the floor. She tried to listen to the conversation, but emotionally, she was already gone. She had confessed that it was Mia — despite knowing full well that she had filled in the sheet. Charlotte should feel relieved that Mia was potentially getting fired instead of Jodie… So why was she feeling this overwhelming guilt? Why did she feel Mia’s actions were justified and she wasn’t to blame? Why was it that when Charlotte looked at Mia, she could see the whole world in her eyes, reflecting her guilt?

She forced herself to stop, to not think about the potential consequences. She told herself it was pointless, that she wasn’t the one in the spotlight, not the one facing the consequences. But deep down, she knew it was a lie. The future was a vast, uncertain void, and she was the one who had set it in motion. She was the one who had to live with the guilt and the aftermath of her actions, struggling to find a way to rationalise what she had done.

“I’m sorry, Roger, but isn't this serious misconduct? Her name is on here! Laughing at a child's pain,” Marjorie's voice cut through the air, her disgust palpable as she held up the paperwork that Charlotte had filled in.

“Well… Having admitted it, I would say that there is gross misconduct and grounds for dismissal,” Roger said, speaking slowly as though he would regret saying those words aloud. Marjorie exclaimed excitedly, celebrating the successes that they had gotten from getting rid of Mia. Even Autumn managed to crack a smile, and Charlotte’s guilt started to manifest into anxiety as she glanced up from the ground towards Mia, her eyes placed on Mia’s face as though she was trying to commit it to memory as if this would be the last time. But it was only a second before she looked away, back to the same spot on the ground.

“Are you actually firing me, Roger?” Mia said as she crossed her arms, tilting her head towards him.

“Yeah, I’m afraid I have no other choice—”

“That’s right! You’re out of here,” Marjorie interrupted as she crossed her arms, a victory smirk implanted on her face. Charlotte should also have a victory smirk; she should be celebrating; she shouldn’t have this feeling of ‘clouds covering the sun’, left in the cold as her chest heaving slowly. She could already feel her fingers fiddling with each other; it wasn’t long before she would start biting her nails, feeding her anxiety even more.

And it didn’t help when she could feel Mia’s eyes on her. It didn’t help when Charlotte decided to look back at her. She was surprised that Mia even had the guts to look at the person who helped remove her. Charlotte held her gaze, remembering all the attempts she had taken to get here: all the fake flirting, all the parents that Mia protected from Charlotte, and… the fact that she had switched her wedding ring without hesitation. She didn’t think it would impact her as much as it had against her. She fiddled with the ring as if she had manifested herself to do so—feeling its smooth surface and the coldness it gave her for the past three months. It was as if, just for a moment, she felt the warmness of it, but it didn’t come from her husband, but from…

And all Charlotte could do was look away from Mia.

“Excuse me,” Charlotte spoke softly, her voice barely able to be loud enough to disguise itself as confidence. She turned on her heel and went straight towards the door without hesitation. She didn’t think to look back, knowing that if she had, she would confess right there that Mia hadn’t done it. Charlotte continued walking out until she stopped in the middle of the hallway, pausing. Her heart pounded against her chest, loud enough to take over her hearing in her ears.

Slowly, Charlotte felt her fingers overlap each other before she reached up, slowly biting the edges of her fingernails. She closed her eyes, fighting back the tears that appeared as she took deep breaths. It didn’t help when she continued to bite her nails; it brought her back to when she was a child again. The desperation to be held flooded her brain, but she had no one she could reach out to; it had been too long since she felt comfortable.

——–

It had been a few minutes, and Charlotte still stood in the hallway, biting her nails. She wasn’t aware that she was still present in the middle of the corridor, but it was almost an excuse to keep listening to the conversation. She’d caught glimpses of some words, but she knew if she digested the words, nothing would subdue the guilt. It was complex, and she wished it was simple, but nothing was easy for Charlotte, especially not for the past few months.

“Hi, Charlotte,” a familiar voice spoke, catching Charlotte off—guard as she turned around, facing Mia. She blinked, unsure what to say, but she breathed slowly, nibbling on the thumb’s nail. Her eyes almost pleading for any sense of comfort or some familiarity in terms of banter with her, something that would take her mind off the overwhelming sense of guilt, feeling it crawling up her throat, wanting to be free.

“Sweetheart, you don’t have to bite all your pretty nails off; it’s okay,” Mia said softly, and her sudden change in voice took aback Charlotte.

For a second, Charlotte was desperate for Mia to be mad, have some frustration, create a vendetta, and feel something to hurt Charlotte. And yet, Mia was soft—spoken, almost looking through a façade of who she was, and Charlotte was surprised. Charlotte’s heart stopped momentarily when Mia reached out to grab her hands away from her mouth and hold them gently in her palms. Charlotte was quiet, afraid to make a sudden move, but her gaze turned to watch Mia’s face.

God, she was so gentle with her that it scared Charlotte. Not because it was from Mia, but because it was from Mia, and she had wanted some contact for so long. It was desperation for gentleness, and Charlotte had craved it for ages. She had never experienced it this way, feeling some recovery from the old habits of biting her fingernails, but now… She craved Mia's gentleness and compassion. She almost wanted to say something, but she was too distracted by how her knuckles were caressed, each touch feeling like a soft kiss against them. A kiss that she craved.

It wasn’t long before Mia pulled her hand away, but it had felt like centuries to Charlotte.

“I’m not mad at you.”

“How can you not be mad? Like… You just lost your job because of me!” Charlotte exclaimed, and Mia shushed softly, reaching out as she touched Charlotte’s arm. Charlotte’s skin shivered at the touch, goosebumps appearing slightly, and she kept looking at Mia.

“Because you finally grew a backbone. Truthfully, I’m happy to have been the one you did it for,” Mia said with a slight chuckle, which supposedly put Charlotte at ease rather than nervous. Maybe it was because Charlotte knew that Mia could tell her the truth or that it was nice to hear that compliment from Mia herself. Sure, it would be nice to get that sort of thing from someone like Marjorie… But it isn’t straightforward. It’s… Different, and Charlotte cannot explain why.

“I don’t understand, you… you’re so nice to me, but I overheard what they just said in the office: You took money from their dad to torment them,” Charlotte said, almost confused about the whole deal, but Mia was reassuring — a rare moment from a character such as her in previous moments.

“I did, only because I thought I would be getting something in return.”

“What could you have wanted to warrant putting them through that?” Charlotte said as she raised her eyebrow, confused even more. Mia sighed softly as she placed her hands on her hips, and Charlotte waited. She fiddled with her fingers, but the urge to bite her fingernails slowly faded as her gaze softened in vulnerability for Mia.

“Roger promised me that if I did what he told me to and came in between them, he would tell me where my dad was,” Mia spoke, and Charlotte’s eyes widened slightly, surprised at the notion. She went to speak but paused to see if Mia continued. “He walked out on me and my mum when I was just a child.”

“I don’t understand why Reece and Autumn’s dad would know where your dad was?”

“Because my dad ran off with their mum,” Mia said as Charlotte’s eyes fluttered in shock. She took in the information and tried to digest it, running it over her fingers and processing it through her brain. But the more she tried to think about it, the more that nothing strung to mind about anything.

“I always assumed she was—“

“Dead? To Autumn and Reece, she may as well be. They’ve never forgiven her for what she said, but she’s alive and kicking out there right now, swanning around with my father.”

“Wait, so all this time… You’ve just been doing what Reece and Autumn’s dad told you to do? Because… Because he promised you information about your dad?” Charlotte spoke softly as she looked at Mia. Suddenly, she could see past the façade of who Mia was and saw who she was: someone who wanted answers. And Charlotte understood everything. “But… You’ve been doing this for 20 years, why? Why have you carried on for so long?

“Is there a time limit on how long you’d spend looking for a parent? Particularly if you had questions about why they were so comfortable walking out and breaking up a family. Because we both know that Autumn and Reece didn’t grow up in a happy household,” Mia said as she sighed again, crossing her arms across her chest, and Charlotte’s shoulders slumped a little.

“I… What about when you kept breaking up with Reece and getting back with him to try and come between him and Autumn all the time?” Charlotte questioned, and all Mia could do was give a soft laugh — a beautiful sound that warmed Charlotte up; had her husband made her feel this way before? She shook the thought away, but her presence didn’t help either.

“Yeah, well, quite a few times I’d break up with Reece and try and find my dad on my own, but then when I hit a brick wall, I’d come crawling back to Roger and beg him for the details. He’d say he’d only do it if I returned with Reece and got him on a short leash again.”

“So… You were like Roger’s puppet?” Charlotte spoke quietly, her voice cracking slightly, feeling her fingers fiddle with the edges of her fingernails.

“Yeah, that’s why he always got me out of trouble. It was a chance for him to keep me close so I could watch Autumn and Reece for him.”

“Oh my god, what… Wait, does that mean you didn’t want to be with Reece all these years?” Charlotte questioned, and Mia grinned as she rolled her eyes, seemingly amused by the conversation.

“Please, I didn’t want to be with Reece any more than he wanted to be with me. Plus, I don’t know if you noticed… But Reece isn’t exactly my type,” Mia said as her eyes scanned Charlotte and tilted her head to the side, almost as if she was analysing her, waiting to see what she would do. Charlotte’s cheeks started to show a pink tint across, feeling flustered as she looked away to compose herself as subtly as possible. As a force of habit, she reached up, placing her fingernail on her lips, contemplating before she cleared her throat to change the subject.

“Why crash Marjorie’s car? Everyone thought you did that out of jealousy?”

“Hah, God no, it wasn’t out of jealousy; she’s welcome to him. I was just a bit annoyed that day. If Reece is with Marjorie, and he’s not with me, then he’s not on a short leash. I’ve got nothing to offer Roger in exchange for the details of my dad. Crashing Marjorie’s car was me letting off a little rage. I’m a little toxic like that,” Mia said as she ran a hand through her hair, adjusting it as she moved it out of the way.

Charlotte burst out a chuckle by accident in response to the end of her sentence, a sense of friendliness as she stared at Mia, raising one eyebrow. “A little?”

“Okay, a lot,” Mia said, and Charlotte could have sworn she saw her lips tug at a slight smirk (not that Charlotte was watching her lips, no, she wouldn’t. She swears).

“So… What’s going to happen now? Is Roger going to give you the details?”

“No… It’s taken me a long time to realise that he probably never had the details. Going to try to find him on my own. And when I do find him, I have a few questions for Reece and Autumn’s mum, too,” Mia said as she scoffed softly and shook her head, quietly frustrated. Charlotte’s gaze softened as she continued to listen to Mia, knowing full well she could walk away, but she couldn’t, she wouldn’t. “She knew exactly the kind of monster she was leaving her children with when she walked out on them.”

“You… almost sound like you care about them.”

“I did… Once upon a time, Autumn was like a little sister to me, and Reece was like a best friend. Everyone says how awful it was after prom night, but what about me? Sure, they lost each other, but I lost both. All because Roger has his claws dug into me,” Mia spoke, her voice borderline, almost pleading as if she needed someone to understand.

Charlotte took a deep breath, realising that the person in front of her, a person who had tormented two of the Nurseries with chaos, wreaking havoc with relationships and plans for things, all of it, was because she needed things to be recovered. Charlotte’s heart panged at the thought of young Mia being left alone by two people she cared about and continued to have this tear between them for years, all because of what? Because a man couldn’t admit that he didn’t have answers. Charlotte was conflicted between feelings, and as she kept looking towards Mia, all she could do was look into her eyes and piece together the pieces of the woman to understand the coldness balancing the warmth.

“I… I feel confused. You’re acting like you care, but you’ve done atrocious things since you worked here!” Charlotte said, reaching to fidget with her fingers, and Mia slowly tilted her head, her smirk still present.

“Such as?”

“Such as? You just tried to get Jodie fired!”

“Jodie? That baffoon that cannot be left unsupervised around children in case she tries to eat the plastic fruit,” Mia spoke, and she noticed the hesitation from Charlotte and sighed as she folded her arms. “Do you know how many toy apples we’ve had to replace because Jodie keeps eating them all? Ultimately, it got a little too exhausting, and I tried to get rid of her.”

“What about that little boy you would not let sit on a chair?”

“I had a bit of an argument with Roger that morning, so I was in a bad mood. I was trying to pick a fight with a parent.”

“Mia, she punched you!” Charlotte exclaimed with concern.

“I know, really makes you feel alive, doesn’t it?” Mia said, and Charlotte couldn’t help but admit that Mia did have a certain charm about her. There was something sweet about it that was unexplained; certainly, Charlotte did not have the words to describe any of this feeling. Even then, she had noticed that she stopped biting her fingernail a while ago, and… Charlotte had to admit that Mia was a good distraction.

She could feel the guilt she had previously started to subdue quietly the more she understood Mia’s motives for her actions. However, she hadn’t forgotten one thing. Charlotte’s arms stumped to the side, tense momentarily as she folded her arms. “And what about Carly?”

“Ah, you mean when I made—“

“Made her feel embarrassed about her period, yes.”

“… I hate Carly.”

“What! Why?”

“Because? I see way too much of myself in her,” Mia admitted, and Charlotte was astonished at first, shocked, because she didn’t see any similarities between the two. She tried to go through all the possibilities but to no avail.

“Carly is happy, friendly, and bubbly? I’m… Failing to see how you can see yourself in her,” Charlotte admitted, her voice soft to prevent further instigation.

“Yeah. Exactly how I was at that age before Roger got to me,” Mia spoke, and Charlotte’s heart broke. She never thought about how Mia was before all this manipulation, all the emotional blackmailing that Roger had done to Mia all these years. The more that Charlotte looked at Mia, the more she realised that there was an empty shell of who she was, and all Charlotte could do was say nothing. She continued to look at Mia, unsure how to reach out to comfort her and whether Mia even wanted to be comforted, but all she could do was look at Mia.

“She reminds you too much of yourself…” Charlotte whispered after a while.

“It’s not Carly’s fault. It’s just… She holds up a mirror I’d rather not look into,” Mia admitted, and Charlotte nodded for a moment, leaving the silence between them to be a comforting feeling for a moment.

Then, a thought came into Charlotte’s head. A string of words she never thought would be put together for someone such as Mia. She fiddled with her wedding ring, remembering the smoothness of it, the guilt that she previously fought against, the loneliness. All those feelings merged with newfound feelings that were too confusing for Charlotte. But instead of running away from them, she decided that maybe, perhaps, it wouldn’t hurt to explore them. All she had to say was four words:

“And what about me?”

Mia was momentarily confused, furrowing her eyebrows inwards as she focused on Charlotte. “I never did anything to hurt you.”

“Exactly, why… Have you been nice to me?” Charlotte said, unaware she was being timid about the situation. Mia paused momentarily before piercing the dots together, a smirk slowly appearing when she concluded what Charlotte had meant.

“You think I had an ulterior motive?”

“Can you blame me? Given everything else I know about you, I was just…” Charlotte sighed as she shrugged her shoulders, and Mia nodded slowly. She was oddly quiet about Charlotte’s question, almost as if there were layers to her, and Charlotte was nervous as her fingers latched on to each other.

“No ulterior motives with you,” Mia said, and Charlotte waited to see if she was lying, but the way her face softened when Mia had spoken, Charlotte believed her, and as she went to say something else, Mia spoke again. “Char, I just like you.”

Charlotte’s body tensed up from using the nickname, but it quickly faded when she realised she liked how Mia said it. She reached up, placing some hair behind her ear, turning away as she felt the warmth on her cheeks again. Charlotte’s mind was racing; plenty of thoughts went through the phases of her brain, none of which she could answer right away.

“But I definitely don’t deserve to have you, so I need to work on that.”

“Mia, you can’t have me, I’m married…” Charlotte said as she looked back to Mia, unaware of what she was saying. Mia’s eyebrow perked up when she heard what Charlotte had said.

“Are you saying if you weren’t… I could have you?” Mia questioned, and all Charlotte could hear was her heart beating fast, the drums in her ears as the pounding overtook her senses. She stared blankly at Mia, her eyes fluttering as her chest heaved slowly. Charlotte couldn’t look away, her fingers still as she processed the question.

The truth was, Charlotte couldn’t say anything out loud, but her thoughts were clear as day. She bit her lip, holding back the words on the tip of her tongue, afraid to confess, knowing that it would become reality when she did. The separation would be real, and Charlotte wasn’t ready yet. She needed more time. But fuck she hated being lonely in an empty house when the kids were over at their dad’s place. Charlotte hated the silence, wishing something to fill that space, someone to hold her in the night to cure the starving touch.

All Mia could do was look at Charlotte up and down with a smile that made Charlotte weak in the knees. “You just said a whole lot without uttering a word. That’s good to know for when I come back,” she said, tilting her head coyly, and Charlotte felt her chest take a sharp inhale.

Charlotte’s head snapped back, facing towards Mia, focusing on her words instead. “What do you mean come back? You can’t come back; you don’t work here anymore?”

And something happened. Charlotte watched Mia tilt her head again before giving one of the warmest smiles that she had ever seen from her—a smile that made Charlotte shudder within her skin. The genuineness was rare, and Charlotte was the one to witness it. “When I come back for you,” Mia spoke softly and turned away as she walked down the corridor.

“Wait, Mia!” Charlotte said as she hurried over to Mia, who turned around to face Charlotte, her facial expression soft. Charlotte knew she had to say something regarding the guilt she felt in her stomach. Otherwise, she couldn’t sleep tonight, her anxiety overtaking her dreams instead. “Why… Why didn’t you say anything in the office about the accident form? All they had to do was look at it and see it was my handwriting.”

“Truthfully, I was so proud of you,” Mia said as she shrugged her shoulders lightly, and Charlotte had to take a deep breath to hold in her thoughts. Hearing the praise did something to her soul; she hadn’t heard it in a while, and Charlotte held it close to her chest. “Plus, I wouldn’t do that to you anyway.”

Charlotte sighed as she gave a slight nod but paused as Mia took one step closer towards Charlotte, making her freeze as if she were a deer in headlights. “But while we’re on the subject of looking at you… If these people you adore so much took the time out of their lives to do that, they’d see what I saw.”

“What are you talking about?” Charlotte said, confused, biting down the anxiety crawling its way up.

“That switching your wedding ring to flirt with me was the closest you’ve come to being brave enough actually to take it off,” Mia said, and Charlotte gasped, her shoulders tense. She looked at Mia, the distance acting as if it held a secret between the two. She could feel her anxiety strike as she started fiddling with her fingers before reaching up to bite her fingernails, but Mia grabbed her hand softly and held them down. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone, sweetheart. That’ll be our little secret,” Mia said as her thumb caressed Charlotte’s knuckles once more, giving her the familiar feeling of warmth from Mia’s fingernails before she let go, walking away.

Charlotte watched her walk out the door, standing in the middle of the corridor. She glanced down at her wedding ring; doubts were plaguing her mind, but nothing related to Mia. She glanced up towards the door Mia had exited and waited momentarily to see if she would return; she hoped. Her hand clasped in front of her as she held her fingers together before letting her thumb run over the same knuckles that Mia had done, avoiding the ring, just as Mia had done. It was new; the touch had a new meaning that replaced the bad.

And despite the guilt, the anxiety, and the thoughts that Charlotte had, nothing was on her mind except for the way that Mia had held her. And for the first time in a long time, even since the separation, Charlotte genuinely smiled.

#mialotte #the nursery nurse #nursery nurse #charlotte tnn #mia tnn #amelia roberts #mia x charlotte #tnn #ao3 fanfic #FERNLES WRITES !

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thesweetnessofspring · 11 months ago

Note

“Having sex is their coping tool” was a lightbulb moment for me. Sex is one of the stages of their relationship they actually have full control of the pace they go at. And it’s also the first time Katniss admits that she loves Peeta. I can really see it as their safe haven. Which is why I’m obsessed with their actual journey towards having sex. Like them actually taking it slow and learning what each other likes and getting over any insecurities both emotional and physical

Oh 100% all of that! I know that sometimes sex is used as a punchline in fandom, so I want to be clear (not to you, Non, just in general) that this is not a flippant comment by a rabid shipper. This is a serious comment by a rabid shipper, and this answer comes to you in two parts:

Part One: Science

When used in a healthy way, sex is a great coping tool. First because it's a form of connection and attachment which are vital to heal from trauma. Polyvagal theory has increased in popularity with trauma treatment because of how the body stores trauma (The Body Keeps the Score and all that) and using physical movement (walking, dancing, clapping, tapping) and physical connection (hugs, cuddles, feeling a heartbeat, eye contact, holding hands) brings the body and mind back into a regulated state. From there, processing can happen. So for partners, sex has all of that. The eye contact, the skin contact, feeling the other person's heartbeat, the rhythmic movement, and of course the oxytocin. And in terms of trauma, when in hypoarousal (numbing out, dissociation), sex moves the body up into hyperarousal (being very aware of surroundings/body) and then after the climax back into the regulated state. Or if in hyperarousal to start, a more soothing approach such as massages, slow touches, grounding through focusing on the activity, can regulate before having the climax again and going back into regulation. Obviously communication is needed for when sex is an appropriate and wanted tool, what they need from their partner in that particular moment, but there are scientific reasons for why Katniss and Peeta would find sex to help them heal and regulate their bodies following the trauma they'd been through.

Part Two: FEELS

It's implied that before "so after," Katniss had a nightmare and Peeta was there to "comfort" her. First with his arms, and "eventually his lips." And then at some point--maybe that same night his lips first comforted her, maybe many, many nights later--Katniss felt "hunger" for Peeta and she knew that they "would have happened anyway." That's the most our private, "pure" Katniss will give us, but to me it's all but canon that sex with Peeta brings Katniss comfort. That the one person who has been looking out for her the longest, her boy with the bread, is still there to guard her. That his arms hold her safe to his strong body, as they have through other numerous terrifying moments. That when she feels a hunger arise in her, he will satisfy her every single time. That each caress and stroke is a reminder that he stayed with her through the worst anybody could be put through, and he will be with her always. That what they have together in their home and in their bed, that word she'd been too scared and unsure and devastated to say before, that love is entirely real.

#everlark #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #the hunger games

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electric-friend · 1 year ago

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listen i know the whole “ed did nothing wrong”/“killing and maiming his his coping mechanism uwu” thing is a super silly joke lol and even i found it funny but it’s kinda just pissing me off.

i just hate that they never really properly resolved ed resorting to violence when he’s upset and that he never really takes accountability for his actions onscreen. and when the side of the fandom that takes no issue at all with the way seeason two was presented makes jokes that show they’re like aware of the vibes they just don’t care bc they hold characters they don’t like and characters they do like to entirely different standards. it’s just annoying lol.

like listen. yeah. ed’s my special little babygirl princess haha i love him. but like. i feel like it’s also ignoring the fact that the violence is actually bad for ed’s mental health and we know this and it’s canonically established.

the same people who make “ed did nothing wrong” jokes literally call people who do the same to izzy bad people. not all of them but like the people aligned with that Side of the fandom.

like first of all we know that canonically though ed’s capable of violence it’s not good for him. that’s a huge part of his character, that he doesn’t want to be Blackbeard. so the jokes ur making leave your favourite character unhappy anyway? and if you’re going to talk like that about ed then why is it a CRIME to do the same about izzy?

i think i’m just kinda annoyed bc people act like if you’re critical of the way the writing failed to give ed a great redemption arc it’s because you’re a racist idiot blind with love for izzy, but in fact, you can remove izzy from the equation entirely and it still sucks because it sucks for ed’s character that his arc was so confusing and we left him in such an uncertain place as a character.

listen, i don’t exactly advertise this bc i feel like people won’t understand, but i’ve been through a lot of trauma, and at times in my life when that’s been a lot fresher for me, i’ve had really serious issues with anger and aggression and lashing out. i think that’s why i connected with izzy and i think it’s why i connected with ed so strongly but also found it so hard to watch the first couple episodes of the second season.

and coming from that place, with that perspective, when i talk about ed being abusive towards izzy and the narrative not being resolved, i am NOT hating on ed and cancelling ed and saying ed is an evil person. what i’m saying is that ofmd s2 took on a really, really complex and serious and intense subject matter, and then the writing failed to carry the weight of that. i love ed, and i feel like his character was let down by us not seeing him clearly express that he’s holding himself accountable for his actions on-screen, or even seeing him healing in relation to his violent impulses that come from his trauma. his killing spree in the finale was really odd in terms of his overall arc and is honestly what threw it all off the most for me. like it’s obvious that scenes regarding ed’s apologies and forgiveness from the crew are supposed to have happened and we maybe just didn’t see all of it, because the season was rushed due to the screen time. but a lot of it is also just poor decisions in the writing and the way ed’s storyline is laid out in the final cut.

to me, saying that ed’s arc was beautiful and perfect and it’s wrong to criticise it or to acknowledge the severity of his mistakes and actions isn’t a form of loving ed. it’s a way of saying you’d rather ed actually not take steps towards healing, just because you want to pretend he didn’t do anything wrong in the first place so you can feel like the better person in the conversation. to me, the people who say ed did no wrong are expressing that they actually don’t love ed.

i mean it’s not that deep, it’s all fictional, but i wish people would look beyond their predisposition to condemning criticism of something they like, and see that there’s a lot of heart, and a lot of really personal experience and real-world context behind the arguments people are making, and that other opinions about the writing in s2 are worth listening to even if they make you uncomfortable at first.

#izzy hands #that’s the only tag i can add without major risk of getting a huge amount of hate #or maybe #ofmd critical #i know this isn’t a super smart meta post or anything but still

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myfairkatiecat · 11 months ago

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Keefe (for bingo)

AHELDHKAUSHDKJAAHJSSHAKSBDKHSKSDSHAJAHDLDUSBSKSJSHALSHDHSKA

OK I CONTRADICTED MYSELF A LOT SO LET ME EXPLAIN

this is my favorite character of all time in any media, right up there with Anakin Skywalker from Star Wars, Nicholas & Nathaniel Benedict from TMBS (showverse) and Lancelot from bbc Merlin. Actually probably slightly above all those characters which is SAYING SOMETHING.

Is he comic relief? Yes.

Would I be his friend? Yes.

Has he done nothing wrong? Yes!! No he’s done many things wrong he’s so precious to me ok but the law he’s broken the law I love him so much he literally betrayed his friends I will always love him he has sooo much to answer for I’m glad Sophie forgives him after she chews him out she should chew him out longer but I suppose Fitz does that for her He has so many apologies to make but like he’s also done nothing wrong look I’m aware of my blorbo’s mistakes he’s honestly not as problematic as the tumblr fandom makes him out to be sometimes, and I MEAN that, but he’s also not as perfect and sweet as the eleven year olds on Wattpad make him out to be. He’s a LOT okay, you can’t analyze Keefe Sencen without the everything

Are my opinions unpopular? Yep! The other keefe girlies hate my opinions bc I acknowledge his character flaws and the Keefe haters hate my opinions bc I acknowledge the fact that he’s NOT an antagonist and actually has a lot of really good traits, and that’s NOT me making excuses. Also what are y’all on about saying he doesn’t get held accountable for his actions, like yeah Sophie forgives him pretty fast but not until she’s yelled at him, and the rest of his friends do NOT bounce back to normal (Fitz)

Do I relate to him? Yes, unfortunately. I have Fitz’s trauma and Keefe’s coping mechanisms (they aren’t good coping mechanisms but they’re literally mine)

Is the fandom wrong about him? Yes, the Keefe fans and Keefe haters alike. Don’t flatten this guy there’s SO MUCH THERE. (I’m not talking about my Keefe-negative mutuals—if I follow you, you didn’t flatten his character, I am very serious about Keefe Sencen)

Do I want to adopt him? YES I mean I’m literally his age but if I was old enough to adopt him I totally would, get that kid away from Cassius Sencen and kill Gisela Sencen. Honestly tho I’d settle for an Elwin adoption, dad!Elwin rocks

Did he need less screen time? *sighs in resigned Keefe fan* probably…objectively…yes…

Did canon do him dirty? I debated filling in this one. Because Shannon has made him a SUPER complex character. But also I swear if the ending of stellarlune isn’t the last time he steals something from Sophie to carry out a reckless plan he told no one about, I’ll riot. Don’t give him forward character progress and then erase it! If it’s a momentary relapse of bad habits I’ll allow it but I’m starting to want Shannon to let Keefe grow from all of that. Cause she keeps letting him get better—and then slip back. (Which isn’t unrealistic and I can work with!! I love him! But SHANNON PLEASE)

Do I want to study him? I want to get a full on PhD in this guy’s character arc actually

Did he need more screen time? Heh. Uh. Objectively NO. But also this amount of page time has allowed us to learn so much about his character complexities?? Like I’m torn between missing the other characters and eating up his character arc. Currently I’m gonna hope book 10 expands the other characters more bc I need more of them and 9.5 can feed my Keefe brain

Would I hit him with a golf cart? Listen my friend made this bingo game (hi Bods, if you’re reading this) and I know exactly what the actual intention was behind this square. But like. I want to slightly run into him with a golf cart. Just enough to slightly injure him and make him rethink his life choices (affectionate) (actually in the words of@phtalogreenpoison “I’d like to microwave Keefe. Just shortly”)

Does he need therapy? OH MY GOSH YES. I have thought this about other characters but SPECIFICALLY KEEFE HOLY GUACAMOLE GET THAT GUY THERAPY

Is he insane? Define insane. But I love him anyway (what is going on in his head half the time 😭)

Am I rotating him in my head 24/7? WELL YOU’VE READ THE POST WHAT DO YOU THINK

Do I have so many headcanons? Oh you guys don’t know the half of it. I have. So. Many. SO MANY

Is he wasted potential? Uhhhh I have too many thoughts on this to actually put it on this post. Genuinely love what Shannon’s doing with his character, like I said. But at some point she needs to. Address the things. Or he just becomes a guy with all these complications introduced that just kinda sit there and continue to change and grow and Keefe is the complex character to end all complex characters but Shannon you need to DO SOMETHING WITH THE MASTERPIECE OF A CHARACTER THAT YOU HAVE CREATED

The amount of bingos holy moly

Anyway

Keefe means a lot to me

Thanks for the ask anon!

#anon I’m so sorry #you didn’t sign up for this #I just have so many thoughts #keefe sencen #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #ask game #character bingo

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sapphire-weapon · 2 years ago

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Final thoughts on Death Island.

First, the less serious and sometimes shitpost/meme shit:

spent a not-insignificant amount of this movie distracted by Leon’s body hair, which is not a thing I ever thought I’d say, but sweet Jesus it’s about damn time

RIP Chris’s tiger shirt. that thing ripped easier than one of Hulk Hogan’s tank tops, man.

I get that she’s a BOW or whatever, but it’s never not going to blow my mind that this series gets away with its darling male protagonist (Leon) punching a woman in the face on screen

in fact, it’s kind of wild that Maria’s only purpose for being in this movie is to just hunt Leon for sport. like she’s literally ONLY there to beat his ass. what a fuckin queen.

I’m not saying that it’s canon that Leon and Jill had sex at some point, perhaps multiple times, between RE5 and Death Island. I’m just saying they were very, very chummy and hands-on with each other, and Chris was seemingly absent from Jill’s life for those six years, so.

actually, you know what. there’s a non-zero chance Leon has actually banged the entire recurring cast by this point. except maybe Rebecca. because she’s smarter than the other three.

Leon and Chris are the most married they have ever been, holy shit they are so fucking married

my reaction to Leon repeatedly saying the word “terrorist” in this movie probably should not have been “oooh say it again~” but it was because “this is no ritual. it’s terrorism” is still the single most ridiculous line that has ever come out of that man’s mouth, and I really felt the absence of it in RE4make, so I’m glad its spirit still lives on

Chris is looking old, dude. he’s beat the fuck up.

but so is Leon. when I wasn’t distracted by Leon’s body hair, I was distracted by the lines around his mouth. so, Chris has obvious wrinkles forming around his eyes, and Leon has them forming around his mouth. but the girls are all pristine. mhm.

OK SO IS INFINITE DARKNESS CANON OR NOT BECAUSE DEATH ISLAND REAFFIRMS DEGENERATION AS CANON, BUT ID AND DEGEN CAN’T EXIST IN THE SAME REALITY DON’T MAKE ME PULL OUT THE FUCKING CORKBOARD AGAIN

Now, the more serious actual commentary:

it’s a little nuts to me how I keep seeing people in fandom say that Leon has no hint of depression in this movie. when Dylan is verbally dragging them all while they’re slowly succumbing to the T-Virus, both Chris and Claire clap back with affirmations that they believe in what they’re doing and that they’re doing the right thing. Leon... doesn’t.

like, Dylan says to him basically “you're stuck in this horrible nightmare that keeps repeating because the people that you fight for put you through it on purpose because it serves their own ends, and it’s got you burnt out, but they just keep using you.” and Leon’s response is basically “I mean, you’re not wrong, but I don't exactly have a choice, so.”

he’s still stuck and trapped and resentful of his position, and he’s reached a point now where he’s just resigned himself to his fate. there’s very much a sense of inevitability about him, which is reinforced at the end when he tells Chris that this is just going to keep happening -- fuckers like Dylan are always going to keep coming back, because they always do.

the man shouldn’t have to be outwardly despairing and visibly drunk for people to pick up on his depressive mindset, but I guess I don’t know what I expected from this fandom.

Leon’s character was actually perfect in this movie. whoever wrote him this time around Gets It. he’s written the way that I write OG Leon and have been writing him for years. his humor-as-a-coping-mechanism is there without being obnoxious (which is where Damnation fucked up), his professionalism is there without being too serious (which is where Degeneration fucked up), his depressive mindset is there without fully consuming him (which is where Vendetta fucked up), and his latent anger at the state of things and at his life in general is there without feeling like it’s dysregulated (which is where Infinite Darkness fucked up).

so, for the anon who asked me what my favorite iteration of Leon is: the answer is Death Island. he is pitch perfect in this movie. straight up.

it did really catch my attention how the movie made it a point to call attention to Leon being burnt out. there’s just something about the way it happened that makes me feel like they’re setting up for Leon’s character to get retired in RE9. I don’t know why I think that, because it makes no sense from a business standpoint for him to be the first of the five to get retired, but. I dunno, man.

the only bit of weirdness in this movie was the whole Chris and Jill thing at the beginning that I already commented on. everything else in this movie was basically perfect. this is the best version of Claire we’ve seen since Code Veronica. like, hands down. Rebecca getting giddy and geeking out over beating the big monster with science could not have been more perfect. everything about Jill was excellent.

like, I have so few things to complain about re: this movie that I’m sitting here going “you know the mocap was kind of wonky in some spots” WHICH IS THE MOST ARBITRARY, NITPICKY SHIT EVER.

but like

I’m just going to throw this out there

but Dylan was super right.

he was so correct in a way that no RE villain has ever been correct ever in the history of this series. I kind of... spent some of this movie actually rooting for him. I was ready for him to kill the crew and wouldn’t have been mad about it if he did; I was like “fuck it, he’s right.” like, I was just sitting there like DRAG LEON AND CHRIS HARDER FOR LITERALLY BEING "THE MAN" DRAG THEIR ASSES FORCE THEM TO FEEL SHAME

in a lot of cases, a story is only as good as its villain, and Dylan being so right was a big part of the reason why this movie worked so well.

Wesker could never.

#resident evil death island #death island spoilers #mostly a #leon kennedy #post #but that's how i do

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kaurwreck · 9 months ago

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I find your takes very interesting. And it’s clear to see you’re very smart, educated and well read! Honestly good for you and I’m completely serious (intelligence is something to be proud of! And literary intelligence is impressive to me) But some of us, while educated are still not very smart and just enjoying manga. Like me personally, I’m not ashamed to admit it. I didn’t like reading in high school but whatever. I enjoy the bsd story and then search for different theories and analyses. It’s very cool to see especially in this fandom. Yes some people refuse to acknowledge, blatantly neglect what are real references and don’t think about it in depth. some people don’t care and some people do. I’m in the middle. I look to others bc I know I’m not smart of enough to make some of the more deeper connections. But it’s also not that serious. Idk what my point was but for it was not to be rude and I’m sorry if it may seem that way! Anyway happy analyzing 🫡

I appreciate your effort to be polite, and I hear you. I generally try to reserve my frustration for matters of cultural- or subject matter-based sensitivity and respect.

Otherwise, I offer what I have to say because I understand that my approach to media analysis is within its own niche, which means I have a perspective to contribute to the conversation. I think literary analysis not only benefits from but necessitates engaging with a multiplicity of lenses. In other words, I'm also just enjoying manga, and I don't expect others to enjoy manga the same way I do; I'd rather there be lots of different approaches than only a few.

That also means I decide how serious it is to me. I don't care how much anyone else values it, I value contextualizing literature a lot, and I'm going to be vocal about what I value. In turn, others can decide the weight of that for themselves. My strong opinions on the matter do not impose any obligations on anyone else to agree with me, nor do they have any bearing on anyone else's behavior.

But, this is the social blogging platform where I informally blog to decompress between work tasks and to occasionally sort through my thoughts on media. I'm going to occasionally botch my wording or say something that won't reflect the expansiveness of my intent. Or, like earlier today, I'll express frustration with matters that, to borrow your language, aren't that serious. Nevertheless, the same as the above still stands: you can take what you want from it, including nothing.

Thank you for the kind words about my intelligence, but I don't think there's any value judgment in being intelligent or enjoying reading. I also have dyscalculia and enjoy black sesame ice cream. These are all value neutral facets of my preferences and how I experience the world, not sources of pride. I'm proud of where I've made choices that nurture my values and where I've sought to engage, even if to grapple, with what I find interesting or challenging.

tl;dr: sometimes I'm going to be moody in public, and y'all are going to have to decide for yourselves how to cope.

#im glad you enjoy manga. i enjoy manga too #and enjoying manga as a group activity is fun or there wouldnt be fandom for it #but sometimes i feel like what i do is closer to parallel play and that's usually fine #except sometimes i wish there was more community interest in my type of play too #that doesnt mean you have to play with me or justify to me why you dont want to #my whining isnt personal #it's just something i have to express to excise sometimes

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akanothere · 2 years ago

Text

About me

Part time fandom artist, full time clown.

20+, she/her.

DO NOT REPOST, EDIT, PRINT FOR COMMERCIAL USE OR BULK PRINTING

DO NOT FEED MY ART TO AI PLEASE

AI IMAGE GENERATOR USERS DO NOT INTERACT

TRACING& COPYING ARE FORBIDDEN AND BLOCKED. IF YOU ARE TOO AN ARTIST PLEASE RESPECT THIS UNIVERSAL RULE (UNLESS MEME/PARODY). “HIGHLY INSPIRED” WITHOUT CREDIT WILL BE BLOCKED AS WELL. MY HOURS OF HARDWORK AND BRAIN JUICE ARE NOT FOR YOU TO USE IN THIS WAY. I APPRECIATE THE LIKE BUT PLEASE DO NOT DO THIS

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, DO NOT FOLLOW.

THIS IS A MATURE BLOG OFTEN ENGAGING WITH DARK CONTENT, HOWEVER I STILL HAVE DNIs.

THIS BLOG CONTAINS NSFW, BLOOD AND GORE DRAWINGS, TONS OF TOXIC RELATIONSHIP AND OTHER TW (ALL PROPERLY TAGGED UNLESS I FORGOT ONE OR TWO. IF I DO PLEASE TELL ME!!!)

FULL DNI, DOS AND DON’T, FANDOM CONTENT WARNINGS BELOW. I AM BAD AT EXPRESSING SO IT GETS LENGTHY BUT UM HOPE IT CLEARS UP EVERYTHING

THIS USER DOES NOT ACCEPT INSULTS, VIOLENCE, ABUSE, SLURS, AND DEATH THREATS TOWARDS HUMAN IN REAL LIFE.

What to expect or not here:

⚠️VERY IMPORTANT

I can tolerate/will create darker themed content when it comes to slashers or mature fandoms and villains. I would say this is NOT a safe blog (I mean come on those are bad guys what do you expect! Don’t be too delulu to a point you gonna make them a good guy). However I do not tolerate any form of violence, abuse and discrimination in real life. Seriously, get help if you come across to any of these.

All my darker artworks are NOT for you to follow irl (can’t believe I still have to say this in 2020s do people use their brains nowadays)— It is for me to explore darker concepts, trying to figure out how, for example, how people attracted by psycho criminals, WITHOUT using an existing criminal and hurting anyone irl. Bc everyone is FAKE, they don’t exist, it’s FICTIONAL. Also, to explore my own/seen traumas. I turn personal issues into NSFW kinks or simply dark shit etc, and cope with it as a fictional content. Not exactly the best idea I know but this keeps me sane and overthinking about the past irl. I do not tolerate death/abuse threats and insults towards human in real life, it’s stupid. And all of you should also keep every dark shit fictional content in fictional world. We do not need anymore crime irl thank you very much. Think before you act or talk. Fandom is not that serious to a point you wish death and suggesting violence upon someone.

For my Haikyuu or Naruto art those are mostly safe as hell (my opinion) just loving caring and tons of smooch smooch!😭💖 OMFG I MEAN BOKUAKA HOW YOU GONNA LOOK AT THEM AND THINK OF ANYTHING DARK HELLO EXCUSE ME

Generally I’m open-minded to all ships and kinks (even with complicated relationships where abuse are mentioned for plot reasons, or larger age difference), I’ll simply not interact with contents I’m not interested with… so it would be nice to not recommend any ships or contents through ask, because I mayyyyyyyy ignore it if I don’t like it lmao.

⚠️I draw fictional slashers/villains, g0re and blo0d and other dead dove/ abusive relationships shit, you are warned again!!! However irl crimes/ criminals supporters please do us all a favour go fuck yourself. People who can’t distinguish fictions from real life are not welcomed here.

I DO NOT accept any NSFW commission. Also again and again, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. This is NOT a minors safe space.

I create art for my inner peace and needs. I cannot babysit and accommodate everyone, so, if you don’t like, don’t engage. The definition of “problematic ships” differs from person to person coz fk me people nowadays overuse this too much to a point idk what is & what is not…

Fandoms and ships

Dead by Daylight

Ghostface centric, Ghostface x OC/ x reader, sometimes GhostFrank, GhostMeg and GhostFrankMeg-the-daddy-issue-trio-poly

⚠️IMPORTANT: It’s totally okay to consume my version of Jed Olsen X OC content and imagining in your brain it’s you or whoever his S/O is, but I block people who draw my version of Jed with themselves/self-inserts/OCs, or generally drawing him. It’s a culture here: impolite to draw someone’s design without permission😭💦 So please don’t take it personally, it’s just me not comfortable with sharing my design of Jed with other people’s self insert/OC. Also I have many plans for him so when people draws him (even not a ship art), it might actually interfere with my WIP sketches and ideas which makes me so awkward like “should I continue when someone drew it already???” However I am glad many people like him! Thank you for giving him love he really doesn’t deserve it he belongs in the trash💥

PS. There are some designs out here alike which of course is fine, I do not own the character himself, but I‘ll stay away or block if it’s too alike/ overly referenced. I stay quiet about things I don’t like so unless shoving it in my face, I will just walk away🧍‍♀️💦Need not worry!

Haikyuu!!

BokuAka, sometimes Tsukishima centric and SunaKita

Harry Potter (Wizarding World)

Tom Riddle centric, Tomione. Casual: Tomarry, Drarry/Harco, Voldantonin, Antonmione, GGAD, SebOmi/OmiSeb, Sebastian Sallow x MC, Ominis Gaunt x MC, Seb+Omi+MC trio friendship.

⚠️I DO NOT SUPPORT JK ROWLING’S TRANSPHOBIC SPEECH. TRANS WOMEN ARE WOMEN. IF YOU CAN’T ACCEPT OTHERS HAPPINESS AND RIGHTS, THIS IS NOT A PLACE FOR YOU. FK OFF.

ALSO THAT ONE TOMIONE ANON WHO KEEPS ANNOYING WRITERS WHEN THEY WRITE FOR OTHER PAIR— DO NOT INTERACT.

Don’t follow me for ships. See me as a cheap ass £10 all you can eat cushion buffet please. No quality of art here. Just pure delulu and bad drawing skills.

Naruto

KakaSaku, ObiRin, ObiKaka and InoSaku.

⚠️Note that my main ship in this fandom is KakaSaku, but only when Sakura is of age and usually I ship them in same age/ sort of colleague AU

Other games, films and anime

Who’s Lila?, Cube Escape & Rusty Lake series, Year Walk, Disco Elysiumc, Good Omens, Hotline Miami, Chainsaw Man, Golden Kamuy, Dorohedoro, any Kon Satoshi/ Ito Junji/ Wong Ka Wai’s creations, Horror and thrillers, Sci-fics

Fic recommendation lists

(Most of them are dark, dead doves and NSFW. Some are light and cracks! Read TW and tags. Read at your own risk.)

Danny x You/OC/SO

Tomione

#about my blog #about my art #not a safe blog for minors #but I can’t tag minors dni or else they can’t see this post and thought they can interact lmao #seriously minors dni

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helluva-dump · 1 year ago

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Hey guys… so I wanna take a break from critiquing Viv and just want to share some art for fun.

Though, I’m actually nervous to. Because part of it is mainly gonna be oc x canon stuff as well as ummm… writing dark headcanons of stories of certain characters….

So I had want to tackle the serious topic oc co*rcion similar to blitzo and Stolas, but it involves one of my ocs. But I also wanna talk about purity culture, it’s harm, and I’m basically wanting to do my take of Heaven and headcanons I have for it.

And ummm these dark headcanons I have involve Adam… yes admittly I thought the idea of Adam being the leader of the executioners was extremely stupid and the leaks I’ve seen were eh… But let’s just say he somehow warmed up to me and I found a way to make him slightly intimidating.

Actually my friend @samiliy4me has been doing headcanons and ideas of Adam and we’ve done a lot of roleplays and omg… the way she writes him is so sinister yet fun. We’ve done roleplays of him with our Angel ocs and it’s been giving me content to do things with my Angel oc

She also did amazing headcanons for Mammon and keeps him an asshole in our roleplays which also gives me content for my hellhound oc.

Now that being said with things concerning Adam, my main thing with him is to criticize toxic masculinity within Christianity and all the Republican Christins that use religion to harm others. While my Angel girl and others badly want to help restore heaven with the New Testament. I’ve been watching history of Christianity and how is slowly because something republicans used for evil (when it wasn’t always like that )

So yeah… I may touch on a sensitive topic with Adam and one of my ocs… but here’s the thing, I am NO WAY gonna romanticize this relationship. Some of this is based on personal experience to help me cope with trauma.

And I know how many antis in the critical blog tend to act like babies over things like this.🙄 Thing is I get it, Viv doesn’t know how to properly discuss this topic without separating her n*nc*n kink. Besides, he’s not even the oc I’m gonna have my Angel end up with.

But I’m also scared shitless of the fandom taking mine and a friend’s take on Adam super personal because me and her refuse to sugarcoat him or do draco in leatherpants. Like the idea of him fascinates us and I rather actually write him being A villain Same with Mammon since we refuse to woobify them.

Now don’t get angry fandom…. I actually may redesign Adam…. BECAUSE GOOD LORD HE IS A PAIN TO DRAW. THIS IS WHY FANS REDESIGN. ITS NOT ALWAYS IF MALICE ITS JUST HARD TO DRAW SOME DESIGNS. I’m gonna do the same for Lute since she also looks tedious.

I won’t change to much of his design but I may change his horns and give him some skull mask.

Also I’m gonna make Bee into a bug/canine hybrid and make her be a princess while her mom is the actual queen since I love that idea Lovearts made.

And possibly do shippy stuff with her, Tex, and Loona… I’m mainly an oc x canon and self shipped but idk I feel like this OT3 can help me develop Loona as a character.

Do you guys care to see these ideas I have? I really don’t want this fandom to get the wrong idea of me as well as the critical community.

I don’t always agree with critical takes and I try not to jump the gun with every allegation if the evidence is flimsy. BUT this doesn’t mean I like Viv as a creator and the spindlehorse as a company since I do believe there’s mistreatment and Viv is kind of toxic.

But hey, I love Ren and Stimpy and hate John K. Been a Catscratch and earthworm Jim fan and hate Doug TenNapel so separating art from the artist is not gonna he that hard for me.

I’m still a fan at the end of the idea and these roleplays and such I’ve done with friends gave me fun art ideas.

But yeah would you guys care if I share this stuff?

#helluva boss critical #text #hazbin hotel critical

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shootingmorningstar · 11 months ago

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Hi!! I saw you also accepted matchups and I would love to request one! I’d love a romantic matchup for Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel (do only one of them if I can o my request one fandom obv)!

my pronouns are she/her and I’m asexual biromantic (I’d prefer a male character, but if you think one of the girls fits me best any gender is fine!). I’m an ESFJ and a Gemini. I have green eyes and dyed cherry red hair. I dress with vintage/fairy grunge clothes. Long skirts and corsets are my fav type of outfit. I wear lots of rings and crystal/pearl necklaces and love to exchange them with others. I also have tattoos, currently I have three but I’m planning to get more. I love to wear makeup and come up with something creative and different everyday. Also, if someone lets me do their makeup they’ll have my heart forever.

I’m the mom friend of the group, always there for everyone and my friends say that I’m really good at comforting people. I’m also calm and responsible, I usually am the one that takes care of other people. I’m very optimistic, I always try to see the good in everything and I often put other’s needs before my own. I love making others laugh to lighten the situation. I’m not afraid to stand up for myself or for someone else but sometimes it’s hard for me to say no to things. I also dislike when someone is too serious and really can’t take a joke as I tend to use humor as my coping mechanism. I’m also very ambitious, I always try to achieve my goals.

My love languages are, receiving, physical touch and words of affirmation and giving, quality time and words of affirmation.

I absolutely love listening to music, it helps me relax and I really like reading (I love reading out loud to others, when I read dialogues I act them out a little to help picture the scene). I especially love fantasy and I recently got into greek mythology. I also love watching horror movies even though it’s impossible to scare me. I also play Dungeons and Dragons with my friends anytime I can. also, I absolutely love musicals and I’m definitely a theatre kid.

Have a good day!! <3

Your sense of fashion sounds so great, anon .ᐟ As a fellow lover of horror, this matchup was a lot of fun for me.

Anon, I'm matching you with . . .

⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ Verosika Mayday .ᐟ

Lucky you, anon, my absolute favorite Helluva Boss character .ᐟ And the best one.

I know you said male preference, but I just can't help but think you and Verosika would pair amazingly. The best out of the entire Hellaverse. The whole time I was reading your request she just screamed at me as the answer. Seriously, detail by detail I was just convinced more and more. Who would love your dyed hair more than her .ᐣ Not only that, she'd be incredible at helping you re-dye it .ᐟ Verosika is the diva of Hell, she knows everything there is to know about beauty and haircare. She always has to look flawless, after all.

I think the appeal would be the same in regards to your creative fashion sense and makeup abilities .ᐟ She's intrigued on how a style so different from her usual one can look so cute. Please dress her up and do her makeup, she'd love it.

I also think she'd really admire your ambitious attitude. In her line of work, you have to be ambitious or you'll fail, badly. She could use someone optimistic around her, too. Blitzo left her burned and probably with some trust issues, so you'd be wonderful help with that. Verosika's love language is also physical touch, and that's practically canon. Loving horror almost always means a love for the dramatics, which she definitely appreciates. You mentioned having trouble saying no .ᐣ She is definitely the best influence for that. And your adoration of music .ᐣ It writes itself. The two of you may be in Hell, but you're definitely a match made in Heaven.

#helluva boss #verosika mayday #matchups #admin kitty

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talenlee · 1 year ago

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Who Rules You

I’m not trying to make every consideration of my fundamentalist history this year focus in some way on The Locked Tomb but it’s just very helpful, and since it’s what put it in my mind, I figure it’s what I’m going to be using as my lens. Particularly because as I engage with that fandom I hear people, totally normal and regular people, react to things in the book that reveal to me more ways in which my upbringing was in fact, completely and utterly horseradished.

Let me talk to you of John Gaius, the Emperor Eternal, God with a soft G, and his part in my upbringing.

John Gaius, Jod for short going forward, is a major character in the story of The Locked Tomb. It may constitute a spoiler to inform you that those books feature a character with that name and that title and that he’s, like, a dude who shows up in those books and is kinda a dick, but I don’t think that’s the kind of spoiler for a book series that merits a serious warning. However, in my effort to be nice to people who are big crybaby wenuses about this kind of thing, I will say, here and now, beyond this point, I’m going to talk about a character in a book. I’m going to imply that the guy who became the God-Emperor of Mankind and the Undying Necrolord may have done some fucked up shit.

You will cope.

When conversation about the world of the Locked Tomb turns to John Gaius, a few things come up pretty quickly. One, that the Emperor fucks, two that the Emperor looks like Taika Watiti and therefore, well, duh, and then three that God was a twitch streamer and how weird it is, how unexpected this is. For this end I’d like to let you know that cults form over communication networks in which you can isolate people, ideally without leaving them feeling like they’re being isolated. Cults have been formed over the radio, cults have been formed via pamphlets and newsletter. Cults have been constructed through every means of interface, and there are already multiple examples of cults being formed, via youtube and twitch.

I completely seriously mean this when I say that one of the major political parties of the United States is functionally, a cult that got its operation happening thanks to twitter.

This led to my first realisation: A lot of people don’t really realise they’ve seen a real bastard before. There’s I think an impetus for people who haven’t dealt with them up close to see the humanity in everyone, to see ways to forgive and be kind to a lot of people. This is usually brought up in the context of prison, as if prison is somehow a reasonable system for finding bad people, and it sort of white-washes together criminals and bad people, two groups that don’t really have that much overlap.

Our cult leader was, well, unremarkable. He was heavy set in the middle, bald, had glasses, a wife, a daughter, and a kinda-adopted daughter, I never got the long and short of that scenario. The dude could quote scripture and espouse ideas and present rhetorical frameworks that were consistently good at making you think he’d answered you, and then build over and over again on that impression such that you could very easily think that maybe you had gotten an answer and just not understood it. It wasn’t the kind of thing that would stand up to an inquisitive, concentrated and confrontational mind, but the good news is that cults select away from that kind of thing. Fundamentalists drive out those to whom critical thinking comes too easily because they can’t be happy under fundamentalism.

Our church signed onto a pledge that specifically stated its goal was to isolate us in our communities. The phrasing was different – it was that to defend our beliefs in the truth of the Bible, we had to do what the Bible said, and quoted a bunch of verses:

1. Separation from doctrinal schismatics and apostates;

a. “Mark them” (Philippians 3:17-18) b. “Avoid them” (Romans 16:1718) c. “Identity them” (I Timothy 1:20; II Timothy 1:15; 4:14) d. “From such turn away” (II Timothy 3:5) e. “Reprove them” (Ephesians 5:11) f. “Have no fellowship with them”(Ephesians 5:11) g. “Be not unequally yoked together with” (II Corinthians 6:14-16) h. “Come out from among them” (II Corinthians 6:17) i. “Reject” (Titus 3:10)

2. Separation from disobedient saints and appeasers;

a. “Note that man” (I Thessalonians 3:14) b. “Withdraw yourself”(II Thessalonians3:6) c. “Have no company with”(II Thessalonians 3:15) d. “Rebuke them sharply” (Titus 1:13) [20] e. “Admonish him as a brother” (II Thessalonians 3:15) f. “Count him not an enemy” (II Thessalonians 3:15) g. “Keep not company” (I Corinthians 5:11) h. “With such an one not to eat” (I Corinthians 5:11)

And while adhering to this separatist position, that we “let brotherly love continue” (Hebrews 13:1)

Source

This was an isolation tactic, done to ensure that we in our churches saw any dissent from our fundamentalist worldview as being an attack on our faith. We had to drive away those people, because the Bible said we had to, as stated by our articles of faith that were written and drawn out by men.

Notice though, the framing? Check out there, one of those quotes: “Mark Them.” Phillippians 3:17-18. How the fuck is that one two-word phrase in two verses? Does one end with ‘mark’ and the other begin with ‘them?’

The full quote is this:

17 Brethren, be followers together of me, and mark those who so walk, as ye have us for an example.

18 (For many walk, of whom I have told you often and now tell you even with weeping, as the enemies of the cross of Christ.

Notice the phrase ‘mark them’ is used to evoke the idea of eschewing contact with the apostate. This is not what these verses present. These verses literally say ‘follow together with me and mark those who so walk.’ It’s talking about who you include, not who you exclude. Adding on verse 18 says that there are people who walk as enemies of the faith, but that’s not saying anything about what to do with them. And this is just one grabbed citation at random, where any of the others are almost certainly just as mis-handled.

Jod is a bad person. You can tell, because of all the bad things he’s done. You can really tell because of how he frames doing the bad things he’s done as inevitable, or necessary, or the responsibility of the people who drove him to do it. This led to a second realisation: People aren’t used to being lied to. Our pastor told families in the church he was approaching them in secret for help with his money problems from his pyramid scheme, and he didn’t call it that, but that’s what it was, and every single one of them wound up signing up and giving him giant chunks of money in the name of the church because he was their pastor.

When he told us that he’d been doing it, and that he couldn’t pay, and he was leaving, he didn’t set up anything. He didn’t apologise. He just… left.

Just fucked off.

The person telling you the story is a person telling you a story. Jod in the Locked Tomb tells an extensive narrative about what he did and why he did it, but you gotta remember he’s the one telling you that story, he is literally giving you a version of events that he gets to shape. There’s stuff he leaves out and stuff that’s inconsistent and such a focus on things that build empathy like his frustration and his sadness and his need for vengeance that all are explicitly trying to manipulate his audience which includes you.

The third realisation, which makes sense to me because Muir has mentioned cult upbringing too, is that even if our experiences differ, cult experiences fuck you up in ways that rhyme because they’re all fundamentally about environments of control. I was not a subject, directly to our pastor. I was a kid a few steps removed; my mother was directly important, my dad secondarily important so me and my sister were tertiarilly important and we could be used to turn those other gears.

Jod is a great character. Really well written. Very authentic, very true to life. He’s not unique. He’s not singular. He’s a shithead of a type that exists, in the world, today, and who is probably just looking for the right way to put people he wants under his control.

Study him and study the ways he thinks he can fool you.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

#The Locked Tomb #Fundie Stuff

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edensrose · 2 years ago

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seeing the recent hate targeted towards blogs who do dark content—whether it be lotr/silm related or any fandom for the matter—is crazy 😭 bc for the majority of the blogs i’ve stumbled upon/follow, if not all, the authors are usually survivors of trauma related to their works. its either they’ve experienced it or have dealt with it in some way that they use the internet or some expression of art (like writing for the matter) as a way to escape and cope from it. to them, this is a form of expression to vent their frustrations and feelings, and some others see it as a way to take hold over their own trauma—and i know that it is hard for others to digest and see, but this is why people cope in different ways. if you don’t like dark content, that’s fine, you’re definitely entitled to what makes you comfortable because spaces on the internet like tumblr has tools to help you cater to your own space. but if you’re gonna go out of your way and attack authors who do dark content, it’s not any better. i think it’s hypocritical—how come you get to have a safe space but diminish how others cope? i know it’s a controversial conversation, whether it makes you a bad person for liking stuff like this and going as far as making art of it, but it’s definitely up to the person who makes it. i can’t really state for sure if it makes you bad or not, but i doubt anyone can, because not everything completely adheres to a black and white perspective. there isn’t a limit to what you can write about and the type of fanfics others enjoy. i’m sure that someone who enjoys horror movies like friday the 13th isnt going around to support real life serial killers.

look, there’s a reason why authors heavily tag their works when writing darkfics. there’s disclaimers upon disclaimers upon disclaimers. i remember stumbling upon a fic on ao3 that was so heavily tagged it felt like centuries passed by trying to scroll through. there’s a reason why a lot of content like this is tagged 18+, for mature audiences, because if you’re old enough, you know how to handle content like this. and if you really want to get into it, critical thinking is definitely involved when you’re consuming stuff like this, that’s why it’s only and made by mature audiences.

one of the best things about authors who properly tag their works, is that they tag their works properly. it’s not like they’re creating a fanfic where their main summary and premise is a nice, simple, vanilla romance with no trigger warnings whatsoever, so you read it thinking it’s something you can digest. only to figure out, there’s definitely scenes later on the books that diminishes that narrative of a non-dark content story. i think that’s shitty, it’s feels like it’s glorifying some messed up abuse and branding it as “romance.” but that’s the main difference here, you don’t see none of that bs when it comes to blogs that create dark content. like i said, a lot of these blogs are created by people who understand—that’s why tagging fanfics/dark fics are so vitally important and why these authors take it seriously. if you’ve been around the fanfic community, you know that tagging is very serious around here because it helps people filter out certain things that they don’t want to see, and that makes it easier for other people to create their own safe spaces.

i know it’s easy to just chalk it up to, “if you don’t like, don’t read”/“just block the tags,” and it may feel like people are just dismissing it. but it really is that easy to say that. no one is dismissing how you feel about dark content and no one should, for the matter, ever talk crap about your own feelings and experiences. but as i’ve said and many of these authors say, you get to create your own boundaries on the internet. if you don’t like, just block. there’s no need to go around and harass others, seriously. it doesn’t make you any better.

also for the authors and blogs who’s been getting hate and attacked on this, i’d probably suggest turning off your anons for awhile. there’s a reason why people are so quick to hate on the internet because they are granted anonymity, so it can be used as an advantage.

also sorry for the ramble 😭 i felt bad seeing blogs i follow get harassed over this and i wanted to offer some retrospect! everyone is entitled to their own feelings, but be understanding of others. in no way am i defending that anon that’s been going around and spreading hate and disgusting death threats. i hope you all have a great week, be happy and be nice to others—always.

I got to this so late, I'm sorry. But yes, everything you said is absolutely valid. Most writers I know tag their work accordingly. I also feel like people don't realise that by policing something like dark content they are criticising an outlet for survivors. I was surprised by how many are writers and readers, as I have discovered due to this situation. I can only hope that their safe space is also not intruded on. I honestly just want to go back to the normal stuff on my blog, but I have not only been beyond frustrated with this situation, but still receiving quite bad messages that I have chosen to block. I really wish that fandom and people in general pull themselves together

#— ꒰🌺꒱ 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐬 ៸៸ anon ❜‧#discourse #dark content discourse

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anthonybialy · 7 months ago

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New York Knicks Are in Nice Shape, and I Feel Strange

I’m used to things not going well: I’m a Knicks fan. Following sports creates preparation for woe. Life lessons justify how much of my precious limited hours I squander watching men chase a ball.

It’s much more fun coping with fear of success. This summer has created an eerie feeling that the franchise is in good shape. Thanking James Dolan for not involving himself is the most praise I’m willing to offer.

There’s money left over for a statue. Jalen Brunson is so good that he wins NBA games in July. My personal all-star handled the pen to sign his team-friendly deal as adeptly as he does a basketball. Relentlessness happens over time as well as in individual game. Foes hoping for a break can’t schedule current or future ones.

Brunson is underpaid. The fact he can afford tots at Melt Shop is irrelevant. It’s not a matter of signing a nine-figure contract but how much more he could’ve gotten. Like how scoring at will means nothing unless it helps a team win, value compared to actual payment is the only relevant aspect.

Inking a deal for 156.5 million means wondering how to get to 157 million. Jalen Dunkin’ Brunson will seek his pocket money from acting in donut commercials instead of from the artificially-limited salary pool that can now be used to pay awesome teammates. Based on his economic impact for the previously oft-driverless Knicks bus, Brunson could be a billionaire and still not be getting paid what he’s worth.

I am willing to be a pro athlete. Desire is all it takes, right? Those who are a little more coordinated always say they want to win, and Maury would find they’re telling the truth. The difference is New York’s point guard shows it. An unfathomably large contract that could have been even more massive shows his interest takes the form of winning, not being able to afford both Netflix and Hulu.

I don’t miss draft picks. Trading for Mikal Bridges is the sort of bold move made by a club serious about pushing their way to the conference’s top. Worthwhile purchases necessarily come at high expense. The only thing more costly is not spending to acquire proven talent. Cheap owners focus on the price instead of making crucial investments.

Re-signing players while trading for welcome additions spurs the uneasy feeling of ease. Are things really working out? I’m trying to relax despite usually thinking pleasantness means doom approaches.

The right employees change cultures. Executive magician Leon Rose is making New York like it’s supposed to be. I’ve always heard how their hometown is the Knicks’ biggest advantage. Now, it’s finally happening.

Volunteering offers a unique perspective. I made the choice to follow the Knicks, which has often showed the downside of free will. I just didn’t endure enough woe from what fate assigned. Looking what teams you back and how each came into your life is a way to take inventory of what’s chosen versus imposed.

I was born into Buffalo fandom as the universe made sure to know it had a sense of humor based in cruelty. I didn’t pick a college based on sports, sort of. Syracuse football can stop reminding me any time. After moving to New York City without an affiliation to an NBA team, I finally got to choose my side, and I went with… the Knicks?! Maybe destiny is better. But the consequences of deciding for myself may finally feature an upside.

The Knickerbockers are so presently promising that fans don’t have to rely on factors other than results to feel entertained. Telling myself it’s fun just to attend has followed the end of nearly every Sabres game I’ve attended for the past decade and a half.

The Knicks have stability in the best sense. The word can be mistakenly presumed to always represent positivity. The Sabres are also stable, and none of their fans appreciate knowing how the season will end.

Appreciating basketball at the game’s most iconic venue in what could intermittently be described as Earth’s greatest city is no longer the greatest appeal. Now, Knicks fans can enjoy games narrated by dual legends Mike Breen and Clyde Frazier without needing them to serve as a distraction.

Tracking Clyde’s poetry should be a fun accompaniment, not a way to avoid focusing on a brutal result. A flagship franchise at one time had the NBA’s worst record in this century. There were times in 2018 when it felt like the Knicks were a mob front that was going to get perpetrators indicted. But they’re at last a legitimate business.

Indulging in nostalgia happens naturally when the present is unfulfilling. A founding league franchise has two titles, which the optimist uses as a reminder of how challenging it is to prevail. Add six finals losses for an overview of just how elusive triumph has been. Relevance outside of location is a welcome relief from merely hoping the inertia of playing in Manhattan will create a winning roster.

Championships don’t have to be a static total, I reminded myself cautiously. Of course, the stacked roster hasn’t won anything yet despite an impressive July roster. Not getting carried away should be the first lesson taught by ruing karma. I’ve been at it for less time than lifer Knicks fans, but I can apply my training as a Buffalo sports enthusiast. Unlike Brunson’s compensation, there’s no discount.

#New York Knicks #NBA #basketball #Jalen Brunson #Mikal Bridges #Leon Rose #Clyde Frazier #Mike Breen

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