#longes mac nuislenn

[riseupriseupandcomealong]

is it ethical to make my housemates listen to 20 minutes of this presentation? maybe not but it’s what they’ll have to live with

[an-ruraiocht]

#the sibling roasts of the sons of uisliu

Naoise: I’m a wanted man.

Aindle: That’s impossible. You weren’t even a wanted child.

[finnlongman]

While trying to share links to my Old Irish Memrise courses with somebody today, I discovered that they're no longer accessible via the main Memrise website at all. This means that any of my previous posts linking to them (or any by others) have dead links and you can't find them at all.

However, when I contacted their Customer Support team for help, I received an automated email directing me to a separate "community courses" website, where they appear to be intact. So, here are the working links:

Old Irish Glossary: Quin's Old Irish Workbook, Lessons 1-20

Old Irish Glossary: Quin's Old Irish Workbook, Lessons 20-40

Vocab from Immram Curaig ua Corra

Vocab from Longes mac nUislenn

Vocab from How Cú Chulainn Got His Name

I did not make the last two of these, but I made the first three when I was an undergrad. They're not the best-constructed courses in the world; they lack grammatical information about most words, for starters. But I still credit them with being the reason I passed my undergrad Old Irish exams, and maybe they'll be useful to others working their way through Quin or trying to learn some basic vocab.

I don't know how long Memrise intends to maintain this separate Community Courses website. I hope forever; it'll be a bummer if it goes completely. I don't think they can be accessed via the Memrise app though (unless you're already enrolled in them; possibly not even then?), so it's likely to be a purely desktop experience.

[ad-ciu]

Hello! I hope the following question makes sense and doesn't cause too much head-scratching:

Are the currently publicly-available translations of medieval Irish texts a decent enough approximation of the "cadence" and style of the originals? Such that if I were to write a story to the rhythm of those, it could reasonably be said to be "right"? Would I have written something "like" the TBC, or Tochmarc Emire or whatever--or would I just be writing in the cadence that a late 19th/early 20th century translator thought they ought to have?

(The context is that a friend of mine is writing essentially a mech anime in epic verse with heavy inspiration from middle English Arthurian literature, a project I enjoy hugely. I've occasionally harboured ambitions of doing something similar for the Ulster cycle but always get stuck on where on the scale of medieval to modern language-style to even begin)

& I guess the other part of that is, is it even possible to be "authentic" in English, when you're not writing in a version of the language of the Irish texts? (I'm aware of fun things like that "Tattooine Cycle" article, but that's presenting itself as a translated manuscript, so using the style of older translations makes sense there)

Oh, what a fascinating question!

It depends I suppose on what you take 'cadence' to mean. If you mean the actual rhythm of speaking these stories aloud, unfortunately all modern editions and translations of medieval Irish texts will broadly fail to capture this with any degree of accuracy due to a lack of punctuation in the original medieval texts. Punctuation is something we impose as editors to try to make the material clearer, but if our choices of where sentences start, stop, where commas go, what should and should not be a run on sentence, all of those are modern impositions on the texts.

However, this is also just sort of normal, because modern punctuation styles are commonly imposed on earlier texts in the editing / translating department. So, my gut instinct is that this isn't what you mean.

If, by cadence you mean something more like 'how these stories were read', not considering punctuation, unfortunately that's also entirely unknown. As it so happens, I was just yesterday considering how the character Cuscraid the Stammerer does not stammer in any of his dialogue in the texts, which makes me wonder if this was intended to be something someone reading these tales aloud would incorporate or not. Similarly, if certain lines are intended to be delivered or interpreted as sarcastic or not is not left to us.

However, this is also a problem with written English, where tone, inflection, other important elements of communication are not actually encoded in standard text which requires some slight innovations like emojis or the idea of '/s'.

So, I'm guessing you might mean something along the lines of the basic style of the text? Like, if you have over-extended descriptions, heavy use of epithets, long-sub tales, poetic interjections, and the basic vibes of the sentences? If that is the case, then the early translators were doing, broadly speaking, a rather reasonable job. There are some which are just absolute garbage (essentially any that are trying to translate poetry into poetry, something they lacked the knowledge of medieval Irish metrics to do properly, but those are -extremely rare-), but broadly speaking you'll be fine to draw inspiration from those.

The big warning I'll give you, however, is how stories are written is changing a lot in the medieval Irish period. For instance, if you read the 8th-10th century text Longes mac nUislenn and compare it to the 15th(?) century text Oidheadh Cloinne hUisneach, which is ultimately the same story but being told with different words, you'll see massive differences.

Broadly speaking, the earlier a text is the more clipped and short it will be. With the super-early material seeming almost more like a point-form summary of a tale. The later into the tradition a tale is, the longer, more exaggerated, and detailed tales become. Some of the late Early Modern Ulster Cycle tales for instance will have multiple pages discussing what clothes people are wearing. Similarly, the later a text becomes the more obsessed they seem to be with incorporating elements of earlier tales, but we should note that this may be an illusion. We do not know if our earliest texts are doing this because they could be borrowing heavily from lost materials.

So, what I would suggest is that you pick a specific time period you want to emulate, read a few texts from then to model your story off of (if you have issues, just drop me a message or whatever, let me know the period you want and I can give you texts, or you can give me a text you like and I can give you other contemporary ones).

The broader question of it you can be 'authentic' to these stories in English is... more complex. If I was being extremely academic and pedantic I would say 'absolutely not, every translation itself is a re-imagining of a text'. But, even if you were somehow able to write an entire story in Old Irish with perfect fluency, it still wouldn't be perfectly authentic because you aren't living in 8th century Ireland, so you'll be understanding things differently. And, that's fine. If I am not being extremely academic and pedantic, I'd say 'You can be as good as it matters, if you do a bit of legwork and consideration of things'.

EDIT: I should actually give examples of what I'm talking about. Here are three different versions of Tochmarc Emire, the Old Irish version (fragmentary), the Middle Irish version, and the Early Modern Irish version (called Foglaim Con Culainn, only interested in the later half of the tale).

If you read those, you'll see super clearly how storytelling is changing in these periods.

I hope that helps! And if you need any further assistance, please do not hesitate to toss a rock at me!

[atlantic-riona]

Exile of the Sons of Uisliu

A (long! very long!) retelling of the tale, Longes mac nUislenn (“Exile of the Sons of Uisliu”), an Irish tale from the Ulster Cycle of medieval Irish literature. Written for the Four Loves Fairy Tale event by @inklings-challenge.

Notes: I’ve published part of this before, though right now I can’t find the post. I finished it for the challenge, as it fit well with the themes. It was originally intended to be a retelling that made it easier to approach medieval Irish literature for those who felt intimidated by the often more archaic translations. As such, it sticks very closely to the two sources I was working from, though events from both get blended together in a way that weren’t, strictly speaking, present in both tales. See the end of the story for sources (with links!) and further notes about the adaptation process.

Pronunciation: “Derdriu” = “Deer-druh,” Noisiu = “Nee-shuh,” “Cathbad” = “Kah-vuh,” “Conchobar” = “Kon-cho-var” (with the “ch” as in “loch”, though I’ve heard various other pronunciations as well, Leborcham = “Leh-vor-cham, Cúchulainn = “Koo-chull-in”, “Uisliu” = ish-loo, “Eogan” = “Oh-wen”, and “Medb” = “May-uhv”. The other names should be less tricky, but let me know if you have problems with them.

This is the story of Derdriu.

Of beauty in death.

Some say the story begins before she was even born, at her scream from her mother’s womb. This is somewhat true; it was indeed this scream that caused the men of Ulster to rise from their beds and demand to know its origin. And it was this scream that caused her mother to press her hands to her face and deny any knowledge of its origin, despite the fact it came from her own womb. Indeed, it was this scream that caused Cathbad, the great and wise druid, to set the question of its origin at rest.

He said, “It is your daughter, woman. Her loveliness will surpass all others; her green eyes and tall form will cause envy among queens and desire among kings. Men will slaughter for her and over her, and heroes will do great deeds in her name.”

He said, “She will bring great evil to our land.” Then he fell silent and no more was said on the subject.

And some say the story begins when Deirdre entered the world for the first time, innocent of her great power and tragic fate. Again, the druid Cathbad prophesied of the evil that would follow in the girl’s wake, of jealousy and war and exile. And of death, of beloved children and heroes alike.

“Her tale will be famous,” he said, “as famous as the graves of the men who fought for her and the men who come after her.”

Hearing this, the men of Ulster cried aloud, “Kill the child! Kill her!” For they did not wish to see Ulster and its people suffer such a fate.

“Wait!” came one voice from the crowd. It was Conchobar, king of Ulster. “This girl won’t be killed; I want her for myself. I’ll make sure that no man sees her before we are wed, so there will be no fighting. And so that there will be no jealousy either, no woman will see her.”

No man present defied him.

And so Derdriu was taken away and raised by foster-parents. True to his word, Conchobar let no one else see her-except for Leborcham, who was Conchobar’s messenger and a satirist. It was she who acted as nurse and teacher to Derdriu. Besides them, Derdriu had no contact with anyone or anything from the outside world.

A lonely life for anyone, to be sure.

Years passed, and Derdriu, as predicted, grew into the most beautiful woman in all of Éire. Her hair was yellow as a warrior’s cloak, and her eyes were green as the land she walked on day after day; her lips Parthian-red and her teeth pure white. She saw no one but her foster parents and Leborcham, who had grown very fond of the girl.

One winter day, Leborcham and Derdriu sat outside watching her foster-father slaughter a calf for their supper. The blood from the calf stained the snow, and a raven swooped down to drink it.

Derdriu was struck by this, and said to Leborcham, “I'd like a man such as that: hair as black as a raven, cheeks as red as blood, and body as white as snow.”

A familiar story, is it not?

Without thinking, Leborcham replied, “Then may you have success, for there is one close by. Noisiu son of Uisliu is the man you’re seeking.” Then she fell silent, for she had remembered that Derdriu was bound for Conchobar’s bed.

“I want to see him,” Derdriu said.

“You musn’t,” Leborcham said reluctantly.

“If I don’t, I’ll be sick.”

This went on for some time, until Leborcham agreed to lead Derdriu to where Noisiu was. However, she refused to do anything more than that, for although she was fond of the girl, she could see nothing but harm in encouraging anything further.

Noisiu’s habit was to wander the ramparts of Emain Macha, the place where Conchobar and the other Ulaid gathered, chanting to himself. The chanting of Noisiu and his brothers was said to increase the milk of any cow that heard it, it was that pleasing to listen to. And for any man or woman who heard their chanting, they at once felt peace and happiness.

Do not think that the sons of Uisliu were skilled only in chanting or other such arts. Their skill in battle was renowned; they were swift and strong, and if the three brothers had to fight all of Ulster at once they would be so skilled with their blades and so able at defending one another that it would be a long time before their defeat.

And they were honorable, too; it was their honor that would be their downfall in the end.

Having gotten Leborcham to tell her of this tradition of Noisiu’s, Derdriu made a plan.

Noisiu was walking along the ramparts alone, chanting, when Derdriu came up to him. As though she intended to pay him no attention or recognition, she strolled past him, his fine voice making her heart beat faster.

Noisiu stopped his chanting and watched her go by. When she made to pass him entirely, he said, “That is a fine heifer going by.”

“As well it might,” she said, and turned to face him. At seeing her beauty, he recognized her for Derdriu, King Conchobar’s future wife. “The heifers grow big where there are no bulls, you know.”

“You have the bull of this province all to yourself,” he said, not taking his eyes off her. “For you are to be wed to Conchobar himself.”

She tossed her head. “Of the two, I’d pick a game young bull like yourself.”

“Cathbad’s prophecy,” he said. “Have you forgotten it?” When she made no reply, he reminded her: “He said you will bring death and destruction to the men of Ulster. Your marriage to Conchobar is the solution to that.”

“I don’t want the men of Ulster or Conchobar,” she said and looked at him. “I want you.”

He shook his head and made to leave, although he did not wish to.

“Are you rejecting me?” she cried.

“I am.” 

She darted around in front of him and gripped him by the ears. “If you don’t take me with you, may shame and mockery fall upon you!”

“Leave me alone!”

“You’ll do it!”

“Woman, I will not!”

“My name is Derdriu,” she cried, “and I love you, Noisiu son of Uisliu! I loved you before I knew your face or form or voice, and now that I have seen them I love you even more! I will love you until the day I die!”

He reached up and pulled her hands from his ears. “Hush, or you’ll wake the whole of Ulster! Already the warriors inside exclaim and reach for their swords.” But he did not let go of her hands.

“It seems to be their recurring reaction to me,” she said, and they looked at each other without saying anything.

Perhaps Derdriu’s story begins here, where she and Noisiu made plans to slip away later that night when the sons of Uisliu and their company departed Emain, with Derdriu planning to hide amongst the women. Of course Noisiu’s brothers, Ardán and Annle, came with the two, and it was they who suggested seeking refuge with another king of Ireland. 

Whatever the start of the story was, this point was certainly the beginning of the end for all four of them.

They traveled from king to king, from one place to another, hunted by an angry Conchobar and all his warriors. Finally, in order to be free, they left Éire and escaped to the land of Alba.

They had no friends there, and so settled in the wilderness. Despite the fact that she was once again living with only three other people for company, Derdriu was happier than she had ever been. The brothers hunted for game, and when that ran out, they raided for cattle.

It was to be expected that the people of Alba rose up against them. As has been said before, the sons of Uisliu were skilled in many things, and cattle-stealing was certainly one of those things they excelled at. The people of Alba, however, excelled at disliking those who stole all of their livestock and food, and were certainly willing to do something about it. Both sides were well-matched, despite the brothers being greatly outnumbered. But the brothers were sick of fighting, and they searched for an alternative.

So they made an offer to the king of Alba: they would stop stealing cattle and in return, he would hire them as his soldiers. It was a good offer, and the king accepted it.

Noisiu and his brothers built their houses among the other warriors, but were careful to build them so that Derdriu could not be seen from the outside. For they did not wish for her beauty to bring them the same kind of trouble they had tried to escape in Éire. And for a time this worked.

But then, one day, the king’s steward came by early in the morning when everybody was asleep. He saw Derdriu and Noisiu sleeping peacefully, and even in sleep, Derdriu’s beauty struck him silent.

The steward went to the king, who was sleeping. The steward said, “My king, my king, I have found the perfect woman for you. She lies with Noisiu son of Uisliu even now, and she is a woman worthy of any king in the world. If you kill Noisiu now, you can have her to wife.”

The king declined to have Noisiu killed, saying, “Go instead and ask her every day in secret if she will leave Noisiu and wed me.”

And so every day the steward came to visit Derdriu while the brothers were away. And every day, she turned him down. At night, when the brothers returned, she told Noisiu of the steward’s visits.

“This is a bad business,” said Noisiu, “but I can’t see what there is to be done about it yet.” For if they offended the king, they could not return to Éire, and where else could they go? So the visits continued.

As Derdriu refused the king’s advances day after day, the king tried a different tactic. He ordered the brothers into fierce battles and set dangerous traps for them in the hopes that they would be slaughtered. But the sons of Uisliu were so skilled in battle and so clever that they always ended up unharmed.

Finally, the king grew weary of all this. “Try her one last time,” he told the steward. “Then we’ll kill the sons of Uisliu and take her anyway.”

The steward did as the king commanded. He said to Derdriu, “Listen. If you don’t do as the king wishes, he will gather up all the men of Alba and slaughter your beloved Noisiu and his brothers. Is that what you desire? Rather, by going to the king you may save their lives.”

It is not known what exactly Derdriu said to him after that, but it is certain that it was yet another refusal. The steward went away angry, and told the king that Derdriu had rejected him yet again. The men of Alba were called. Derdriu saw that they were many in number, too many for the sons of Uisliu to defeat without terrible cost.

Noisiu, Ardán, and Annle came home and Derdriu told them what the steward had said.

“You must leave,” she said. “If you don’t leave tonight, you won’t live to see tomorrow.”

Ardán, the youngest brother, said, “Will you not be coming with us, then?”

Annle, the middle brother, said, “It would certainly be a waste of all our efforts so far if she did not.”

And Noisiu, the eldest brother, said, “Do you not think we can protect you?”

So Derdriu went with them. They left that very night and traveled over the sea until they reached an island that was between Alba and Éire. The king of Alba pursued them with many men, but the sons of Uisliu fended them off in a series of battles deserving of their own heroic legend.

The news of the exiles’ flight from Alba reached Éire. Everybody said to Conchobar that it would be a great shame if the sons of Uisliu fell to an enemy king in an enemy land by the fault of a bad woman. “Forgive and protect them instead, Conchobar, and let the sons of Uisliu come home,” they said. “It is better to do this then to let them be harmed by enemies.”

“Very well then,” Conchobar said. “Let them come home. I will guarantee their safety. Send for them.”

“Who will take the message?” they asked.

“It is well known that Noisiu son of Uisliu will only come in peace to Éire again if he is brought by one of three people: Cúchulainn son of Sualdam, Conall Cernach son of Amergin, and Fergus mac Roich,” Conchobar said. “I will choose one of them.”

He took Conall aside and asked him, “What would you do, Conall, if I sent you to bring the sons of Uisliu back to Éire and through some cunning and betrayal-not my own, of course-they were slaughtered despite your promises of safety?”

Conall answered, “Any Ulsterman, no matter who he was, would fall at my hand. No man would escape my wrath.”

“That is a good answer, Conall,” Conchobar said. “But I see you will not be my choice.”

Next he asked his nephew Cúchulainn the same question. 

Cúchulainn was more perceptive and answered thus: “I swear that if you were to ask me to do such a thing, and to bring them home to be slain by you, I would take no bribe from you, great though it might be, in favor of taking your own head for such a deed.”

“I see that you do not love me either, Cúchulainn,” Conchobar said, and sent him away.

He called Fergus over to him and asked him the same question.

And Fergus said, “I swear not to attack you yourself, but if any Ulsterman should attempt harm on them, death and destruction will meet that man by my hands.”

“You will be messenger, Fergus,” Conchobar said. “It was you who had the best answer.”

So Fergus mac Roich was chosen as messenger. He sailed to their island, accompanied only by his son Fiacha, but could find no traces of the exiles. He made a loud call for them. Derdriu and Noisiu were playing fidchell, and both heard Fergus’ shout. 

“That is a man of Éire shouting,”said Noisiu, looking up from the board.

Derdriu recognized it as Fergus’ voice, but said, “No, you are mistaken. That is a man of Alba.”

Again Fergus shouted, and again Noisiu looked up from the board. “There it is again, and this time I am sure it came from a man of Éire.”

“You are mistaken,” Derdriu said, “and now it is your turn. Play on.”

Fergus shouted a third time, and this time Noisiu knew for certain his voice was that of a man from Éire. He rose from his seat and told Ardán to go and meet the speaker, to see who it was. For it would make them poor hosts if they neglected their guest any longer.

“I know who it is,” said Derdriu. “It is Fergus mac Roich. I recognized his voice from the start.”

Angry, Noisiu demanded to know why she had concealed this from him.

“I dreamed last night,” she said. “I dreamed that three birds flew to us from Emain Macha, and that in their beaks were three sips of honey. They left the honey with us, but took three sips of our blood in return.”

Noisiu sat down. “What do you think your dream meant?” Dreams might foretell the future or provide insight into the present, and so were not to be ignored.

“Fergus comes from our beloved home bearing a message of peace, but the message he bears is false, for a false message of peace is sweeter than honey. That is the meaning of the honey.”

“And the blood?” said Ardán, for he hadn’t left yet.

“The three sips of blood the bird took from us,” said Derdriu, “are the three of you, who will leave with him and be tricked.”

“I wish you hadn’t said that,” said Ardán. The others agreed.

Then Noisiu said, “Never mind that for now. We’ve left Fergus waiting at the harbor for far too long. Ardán, go and fetch him.”

Ardán, grumbling, went down to fetch Fergus. But he was much heartened to see him and his son, and kept asking tidings of Éire, and of Ulster especially.

“It’s glad we are to see you,” Fergus and Fiacha said, “and we’ll tell you everything when everyone’s there to hear it.”

And when Noisiu and Annle and Derdriu saw the travelers, their hearts were gladdened also; and they also asked for tidings of the land they missed so dearly.

“We bring the best tidings,” Fergus said. “I have been sent to bring you back to Éire. Conchobar guarantees your safety, and I swear to you I’ll see you safe to him on the very day we set foot back in Éire.”

“Don’t go,” said Derdriu to Noisiu. “It will end badly, I’m sure of it.” 

But the brothers dearly missed their homeland, and great was their desire to return.

“We will go,” they said. And even though they longed to return, they were also practical and knew they must put in safeguards. “But only if you yourself, Fergus, accompany us, as well as Dubthach and Conchobar’s eldest son Cormac, and if all three of you swear as to our safety.”

Fergus agreed to this, as it was a prudent request, given what had happened the last time the four had set foot in Éire. 

But Derdriu argued against it; she said that going to Éire would be their doom and that she felt sure their deaths awaited them there. And although the brothers pleaded and cajoled, argued and promised, she would not be swayed.

Finally Fergus said to her, “You need not fear, lady: should all the men of Éire betray you, I will fight and defeat them no matter how great their number. Their shields will be poor protection against the wrath of my sword. Of that you may be certain.”

“Friend Fergus,” she said, “I’ll hold you to that.”

They boarded the ship and set sail for Éire. As they passed Alba’s shores, Derdriu looked behind her at them and cried, “Farewell to you, O land that I loved! O land that was my home, I will miss your shores and hills, and the happy days we spent among them. O land, I will not see you again in this lifetime.”

Then she sang a lament, mourning all the places she had loved and lost. “If it were not for Noisiu,” she said, “I would not have left them.”

Dubthach and Cormac met them when they landed. The sons of Uisliu were so glad to be home that they swore they would not rest or eat until they had eaten Conchobar’s food. So the group started their journey at once.

Alas, Conchobar’s treachery knew no bounds. For he had sent Borrach mac Annte to draw Fergus away from them, and this was how he did it.

There was a geas upon Fergus, and it was this: he could not refuse an invitation to a feast. A geas was a powerful thing, and the breaking of it would lead to one’s doom.

Borrach met up with the group on the road and invited Fergus to several feasts. Fergus grew red with anger and cursed Borrach, saying it was ill-done of him to pick today of all days to invite him to a feast. Borrach would not rescind his invitations and so Fergus was caught between his promise to see the sons of Uisliu safely to Conchobar and his old geas.

“What should I do?” Fergus asked Noisiu.

Derdriu said, “Do what you want, friend Fergus. If you prefer to forsake us for a feast, then by all means do so. Leaving us is surely a good price to pay for a feast.”

“I won’t forsake you,” he said. “I’ll send my son Fiacha on with you and my own word of honor as well. And there will be Dubthach and Cormac as well.”

But Dubthach and Cormac chose to remain with Fergus, leaving only Fergus’ son Fiacha to accompany the sons of Uisliu and Derdriu.

“We give you thanks,” said Noisiu to Fiacha, “since none but our own hands have ever defended us in combat.” They were angry with Borrach, and left quickly. 

Fergus was gloomy about that but trusted that the whole of Éire could not defeat Fiacha.

“Noisiu,” Derdriu said, “I will give you some advice, although you will not listen to it.”

Noisiu drew her closer. “What is this advice of yours, O Derdriu?”

“Tonight we should go back to our island and remain there until Fergus has finished with his feast. Thus his word will be fulfilled and we may continue onward with him as safeguard.”

“That is evil advice,” Fiacha said. “My father has sworn to see you safe home today, and I am duty-bound to carry out his oath. Do you doubt his honor? If you turn back now it will be an insult.”

Derdriu was silent for a long time. At last she spoke: “Great is the evil fallen upon us today because of Fergus, since he abandoned us for a feast.” She was greatly sorrowed, for she had only agreed to come back to Éire because of Fergus’ oath to protect them. And then she chanted:

“Great is my grief that I have come 

at Fergus’ word, that reckless son of Roich.

I will lament and mourn forevermore—

and my heart is bitter because of it.

O sons of Uisliu—

your last days have come.”

Noisiu chanted in response:

“Say not such things,

O woman as radiant as the sun!

Fergus would not have fetched us

if destruction were in his heart.”

Derdriu chanted:

“Alas, I grieve for you,

O delightful son of Uisliu!

To have left our home in strange lands—

nothing good will come of it.”

They came to the White Cairn of the Watching, on Sliab Fuad. There was a pleasant glen there. Derdriu stayed behind and fell asleep. At first they did not notice she was not with them, but Noisiu, turning to say something to her, let out a cry of startlement. 

“What is it?” Annle asked.

“Derdriu is not with us; she must have fallen behind.”

They hurried back and arrived there just as she was waking up. Noisiu knelt beside her. “Why did you stay behind, Derdriu?”

“I fell asleep,” said she, “and as I slept I dreamed.”

“What did you dream of?” he said.

“I saw each of you without a head,” she said. “I grew frightened and woke up.”

“It was only a dream,” he said.

“A sad dream,” she said.

Then they traveled onward to a place known as “the Height of the Willows.” Then Derdriu said to Noisiu, “I see a cloud of blood about your head, and I would give all of you advice!”

“What is your advice, Derdriu?” Noisiu asked.

“To go tonight to Cúchulainn’s place of dwelling and stay there until Fergus comes; or to have Cúchulainn escort us with promises of safety to Conchobar.”

“I am not afraid,” said Noisiu, “so we will not do that. And we have sworn to stop for nothing until we reach Conchobar anyway.”

Derdriu sang a song, then, about the great cloud of blood she saw hanging over Noisiu’s head, but Noisiu ignored this. 

They went onwards through the familiar lands, accompanied by Fergus’ son Fiacha, until they came to the green at Emain Macha.

While they had been traveling to Emain, Conchobar had made peace with his old enemy, Eogan mac Durthacht, the king of Fernmag. Eogan was to kill Noisiu and his brothers, and any who opposed this.

So when Derdriu, the sons of Uisliu, and Fiacha came to the green at Emain, Eogan was waiting for them in the middle of it with Conchobar. Hired soldiers surrounded Conchobar so that the sons of Uisliu could not reach him. Behind them, women sat on the ramparts of Emain to watch the fighting.

Eogan and his men came to where the sons of Uisliu stood. Fiacha was standing at Noisiu’s side. Eogan delivered Conchobar’s welcome to Noisiu with a spear thrust so fierce it broke his back. Fiacha grabbed Noisiu and flung himself over him, bringing them both down to the ground. The second spear thrust through Fiacha’s body ended Noisiu. Then the green came alive with battle.

Ardán and Annle defended Derdriu fiercely. They linked their shields together and put her between them, and such was their skill that they slaughtered all those who came against them.

Seeing so many fall, Conchobar turned to Cathbad the druid. “O Cathbad, work some enchantment upon the sons of Uisliu. See their skill and how many they have slain. If they should escape now, Ulster will never be safe from them. I swear if you do this, I will not harm Uisliu’s sons.”

Conchobar’s words were persuasive in the face of all the dead strewn about the green, and Cathbad believed him. He lifted a hand and suddenly a sea, with great waves that crashed like thunder, lay ahead of the sons of Uisliu and Deirdre. Behind them, not two feet away, were the men of Ulster, waiting for the chance to strike. The sea surged ever closer, threatening to engulf them, and the brothers placed Derdriu on their shoulders so that she would be safe from drowning.

With the sons of Uisliu thus trapped, Conchobar ordered someone to kill the brothers. But no man of Ulster moved, for everyone there had borne Noisiu and his brothers great love.

But Eogan mac Durthacht spoke up, saying that he was ready to behead them both.

“Since that is so,” Ardán said, “kill me first, as I am the youngest.”

“No,” Annle said. “Kill me first instead.”

Then Eogan struck a blow that severed the heads of both on the spot, and all the Ulstermen cried out in grief.

Fergus had been told of the treachery of Conchobar, and came now with Dubthach and Cormac to Emain. They entered the green, and saw Noisiu, lying dead under Fiacha’s body, and Ardán and Annle, beheaded by Eogan.

Furious at how his oath had been broken and his son slain, Fergus gave battle to the men of Ulster. Dubthach and Cormac joined him. All three fought fiercely, and many fell by their hand that day, including Cormac’s younger brother Maine.

During the fighting, Deirdre slipped away to the far side of the green, and it was there she happened to meet Cúchulainn, returning to Emain Macha. 

“Are you here to betray us too?” she said to him. “The sons of Uisliu lie dead on the green of Emain; you may as well kill the daughter of Fedlimid and lay her with them.”

“Dead? Betrayed?” Cúchulainn asked, and Derdriu told him the whole sorry tale. At this a glint came into his eye and he said, “That is sad news indeed. Who killed them?”

“Eogan mac Durthacht,” she said. “But it was at Conchobar’s demand.”

“Let us go and find them,” Cúchulainn said, “and make sure they have a proper burial.” He had not yet realized that his foster-father Fergus was the one leading the fight against Conchobar and Eogan’s men, and so he did not join the fight himself—though if he had, it would not have gone well for his enemies.

They came to the place where the bodies lay, and Derdriu flung herself down on top of Noisiu and kissed him, her lips red with his blood. “Without the three sons of Uisliu, I am not alive,” she said. “A day spent with them was full of mirth; a day without them a day of mourning. A curse on Conchobar, a curse on Cathbad, a curse on me—I wish I had died, that trickery and floods on my behalf had not killed them!”

And she sang a song of lamentation, refusing to part from the fallen brothers, though Cúchulainn tried to persuade her to flee to safety.

There was much weeping in Emain that day; and not just for the many brave Ulstermen who had fallen at the hands of Fergus, Dubthach, and Cormac. Dubthach slew the women of Ulster, and Fergus burned Emain. Three thousand men joined them when they went to Connacht. Ailill and Medb, the rulers of Connacht, welcomed them—not out of any great love, but because of the enmity between them and Ulster. With Aillil and Medb they found protection, but the exiles’ vengeance did not stop there. There was not a single night that passed from that day without the exiles wreaking more destruction and sorrow upon Ulster.

As for Derdriu, she was with Conchobar a year. During that year she did not smile. She barely ate, she rarely slept. She rested her head on her knee and would not lift it, though Conchobar brought musicians to try and raise her spirits.

When the musicians came, she would chant:

“You say the men of Emain coming home 

triumphant is a brilliant sight to see;

I say that more brilliant was the sight

of the sons of Uisliu returning home.

Noisiu bearing mead, 

Ardán and Anle bearing meat—

a sweeter supper by far

than any at the table of Conchobar.

The airs you play today lack the music

of Noisiu, who sang like the sea,

of Ardán, who sang bright as sunlight,

of Anle, who sang like the wind in the trees.

I loved Noisiu, the great hero—

loved him to his death.

I don’t sleep, I can’t sleep—

the son of Uisliu will never return.”

If Conchobar tried to calm her, she would say, “What are you thinking, you who heaped sorrow upon me? I might live a hundred years or more, and yet even then I wouldn’t have any love for you. You took the thing I loved most in the world, and I will not see him until I die. I weary of you—I see nothing but the dark stones of the grave covering Noisiu, once so bright and beautiful.”

And if he persisted, she would say to him, “Fergus wronged us, taking us over the sea to you. He sold his honor for a drink. If all the warriors of Ulster gathered before us today, without hesitation I would trade them all for Noisiu. Do not break my heart further today; I am not long for the grave. My sorrows are higher and heavier than the waves of the sea. If you were wise, you would know this.”

One day, Conchobar tired of this and asked, “Who do you hate most?”

“You and Eogan mac Durthecht!” she said.

“Then go live with Eogan for a year,” he said.

He gave her to Eogan, and the next day the three set out for the gathering at Macha. Derdriu was behind Eogan in the chariot. She looked down, so that she would not have to see the two men she hated most. She had sworn that neither of them would have her.

Conchobar had been watching her and Eogan, and when he saw her look down, he said, “Your glance is that of a ewe between two rams, Derdriu, sitting here between me and Eogan.”

Up ahead, there was a big boulder. When she heard him, she leapt up and struck her head upon it, smashing her skull to bits, and she was dead.

Even then, Conchobar was jealous that Noisiu and Derdriu dwellt in death together, and he ordered that their graves be far apart from one another. Yet every morning, the graves were found open, with the lovers inside one of them. To keep them apart, Conchobor had stakes of yew driven through their bodies, and the graves remained closed.

This was the story of Derdriu. Of beauty in death. Beauty brought Derdriu death: the death of the sons of Uisliu, the death of many in Ulster, and lastly her own death.

It was not death itself that was beautiful. The beauty was how Derdriu lived. Destined for a tragic fate even in the womb, was there ever any escape for her? And yet she chose, again and again, to turn away from the path laid out for her. Again and again, she chose the son of Uisliu.

Perhaps that had always been her fate. Or perhaps not. Prophecies are fickle things.

Years passed. Ulster and Connacht went to war. Cúchulainn stood alone against Medb’s invading army, and was later betrayed; death, winged raven, perched on his shoulder. Conchobar heard of the death of Christ and became so angry at the injustice that blood sprang from his head and he died. His eldest son Cormac was invited out of exile to be king of Ulster, and swearing friendship with Aillil and Medb, returned—only to meet death at the hands of men of Connacht. Fergus met death at the hands of Ailill, who met death through the plotting of Medb, who met death by the patient vengeance of one of Conchobar’s sons. Emain Macha was abandoned for Ard Macha close by, which became Armagh, where Saint Patrick built his church.

Two yew trees grew from the stakes in the graves. They grew and grew, until they became so tall that they could entwine with each other at last, centuries later, over the cathedral at Armagh.

Sources: “The Tragical Death of the Sons of Usnach,” The Cuchullin saga in Irish literature, Eleanor Hull (p. 22-53) and “Exile of the Sons of Uisliu,” The Táin, translated by Thomas Kinsella (p. 8-20).

Additional Notes: Because this was meant to make the medieval tales more approachable, in parts of my retelling there may be dialogue and such that read like simplified/altered versions of the original sources. I highly recommend reading the originals, linked below, for a fuller appreciation of the tale, especially Kinsella’s, as in my opinion his translations are the most readable and beautiful of any I’ve read. I’m happy to provide more detail about the adaptation process, the history behind the literature, and the wider context of the Ulster Cycle if anybody has questions. 

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

okay yeah i have THOUGHTS about this

and they turned out. really long. so i'm gonna have to put them under a cut else everybody will get an essay. it's literally 1500 words i'm so sorry. please bear in mind that i am not in the same city as any of my books right now bc i'm with my family for christmas, so i am relying entirely on notes and texts that have been digitised, and it's possible i will miss things as a result. i'm doing my best

so

as @oddnub-eye observed, fergus is present, which implies it occurs before longes mac nuislenn, since after that he's in exile in connacht. however, longes mac nuislenn is generally problematic in that regard because it says that he was in exile for sixteen years, and, well, cú chulainn is only seventeen and the boyhood deeds part of the táin says that fergus was around for at least some of his childhood, so we ALREADY have problems there, and that's with the text that is supposed to directly related to LmU! goddammit LmU

(the early modern version condenses the timeline and makes an effort to explain why cú chulainn wasn't involved -- bc he would've killed everyone -- but we are focusing on the medieval version here)

another text that is problematic to reconcile with LmU is mesca ulad, since in that text cú chulainn is clearly an adult (has a foster son, furbaide, not something he would be legally eligible to do as a teenager when he's still in fosterage himself, as far as i understand the laws), and yet the sons of uisliu are present, suggesting it happens before LmU, which happens before the táin, which happens when cú chulainn is 17. but sure, whatever, mesca ulad and longes mac nuislenn are pretty separate as stories, so i'm happier to let that one be a garbage pile of chronology. it's the fact that LmU doesn't make sense with TBC that has me tearing my hair out because it SHOULD and it NEEDS TO for TBC to make sense

ahem

so where does this leave serglige con culainn

well. let's set aside the fergus evidence because we have seen that that is deeply unreliable. plus it's entirely possible he could've come back to hang out with cú chulainn much later on when things were less drama, so he's not an accurate temporal marker

who else is present who might allow us to slot this story into a timeline?

obviously the story is in two halves and in the first half, cú chulainn's wife is eithne, and in the second half, it's emer, so we probably have two different traditions we're working with. that complicates things. doesn't help with chronology except that it has to happen after tochmarc emire (at least the second half!), but most things do because cc was weirdly young in that, so that's fine. moving on

NEXT. lugaid of the red stripes. now this is an interesting one. he's cú chulainn's foster son -- again, suggesting adult cú, suggesting post-táin, but we've seen from MU that this is not entirely reliable. lebor gabala erenn claims lugaid is supposedly enough of an adult to become king 5 years after conaire dies (see: togail bruidne da derga) which opens a whole can of chronological worms bc wtf. so. this suggests Properly Grown Up Cú Chulainn Who Has Adult Foster Kids, and like ??? he dies at 33 ?? how does that even work ?? CHRONOLOGICAL PROBLEM ZONE.

BUT LOOK! we don't even need to go to LGE for that detail, because serglige con culainn references the need for a king after the death of conaire! and that they're gonna pick lugaid! wow, is this continuity? ... not quite, since it says it's been 7 years of interregnum, whereas LGE says 5 and the annals of the four masters say 6. BUT STILL. this does tell us one thing for sure: this story is supposed to happen seven years after togail bruidne da derga. this does not help us place it with regard to the táin, particularly, since cú chulainn is Notably Not In TBDD -- it's another one where conall gets to play a more significant role. but we're getting closer i think

who is involved in this kingship process? well, we have a reference here to cú roí, so it must be before the death of cú roí (he also shows up in fled bricrenn and mesca ulad iirc; remember that, it might be useful). we also have a reference to finn mac ross and erc mac caipri. that doesn't tell us too much, but it helps a little, bc cú chulainn kills erc's dad carpri during cath rúis na ríg, which is explicitly positioned as a sequel to táin bó cúailnge. this fact is not referenced in serglige con culainn. since carpre's death is one of the reasons erc allies with medb against cú chulainn to kill him, i feel like it Would Be Mentioned if it had happened and he was pissed about it. so there is a strong chance that CRR hasn't happened yet, and since it follows fairly directly on from TBC, that suggests we are pre-TBC

BUT we are in an alternate timeline where pre-TBC cú chulainn is an adult, and also his wife, for half the story, is eithne

and this, i think, is crucial

because we cannot / should not necessarily understand this story as existing in a timeline where the táin happened at all. perhaps there is more than one ulster cycle timeline: one in which cú chulainn was an adult when conaire mór was killed, has been raising foster sons, and eventually experiences both mesca ulad and serglige con culainn, with fergus and the sons of uisliu still in ulster, and then a separate strand, in which the events of the táin go down when he's 17, followed at various points by cath rúis na ríg, cath findcorad (the second one), and oidheadh con culainn, among others (aided chon roí has to be in here somewhere because his son lugaid is a major player in OCC, i'm just too tired to figure out where)

and possibly infinite other strands

it's not that NONE of these stories join up -- SCC explicitly positions itself in relation to TBDD! CRR is explicitly a sequel to TBC, mentions Cath Findcorad at the end of it, and then OCC starts by referencing both CRR and CF! so there are like, internal threads you can follow from one stories to another. but not EVERY story joins to every other story, and i posit that the reason it's so hard to make SCC fit in with TBC is because it's from a different thread. possibly even two different threads, because i can't stress enough that this story is in two distinct halves and in one of them cú chulainn has a completely different wife whom, iirc, isn't referenced anywhere else, so might point to a completely different tradition that didn't survive, or to this one author's OC

the fact that cú roí shows up in mesca ulad and fled bricrenn is imo another indicator that this story should belong in that thread more than the TBC thread (i think he is also mentioned in TBC though so this is not like. A Diagnostic Criterion, it's just a thing to note), likewise the absence of super animosity from others who hate CC in the TBC-CRR-CF-OCC thread

sorry this is getting really long. but anyway here we have multiple strands:

doomed hero strand. cú chulainn is a teenager/20-something and a glorious hero above all others and is going to die young. tochmarc emire - tain bo cuailnge - cath ruis na rig - cath findcorad (btw this is lost, we just know it existed bc there are refs to it) - brislech mor maige muirthemni / oidheadh con culainn. among others.

just some guy strand. cú chulainn is an adult hero who may or may not have been a king at some point, has foster sons, is a fully integrated member of society. i don't have a proposed chronology for these but it would include mesca ulad, serglige con culainn, and a few other Problematic Tales. this also includes togail bruidne da derga, because it's referenced in SCC, but cú chulainn isn't in that. that's fine, because in this strand, he's just some guy! it's other people's turn! i don't know where i'd put fled bricrenn. probably here? but at the same time it is kinda Special Hero Cú Chulainn so it might need to be in its own strand. would need to look at it again to decide

late adventure tales strand. cú chulainn is our favourite character and we're going to write stories about him :) e.g. toruigheacht gruaidhe griansholus, eachtra na gcuradh etc. these are generally late (17th-18th century) and also don't necessarily map onto the medieval tales at all, chronologically, so they need to be treated separately to some degree

thus i would not say that SCC happens before or after TBC, but in an alternate universe. they're going down a different leg of the ulster cycle trousers.

having said that, if i were trying to unify it, i would probably put it after, simply based on vibes and the fact that CC seems like an adult and not like the disaster murder teen he would be before TBC. but the text itself does not provide solid evidence for this, as far as i can tell

Does anyone have specific ideas as to where they’d put Serglige Con Chulainn in the vague ass ulster cycle timeline?

[ao3feed-mythology]

Getting The Dee

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2KKmjs3

by Connlonges

This is saved on my computer as 'dick fic mac nuislenn' and I hate everything that led me to this moment.

Having fled Ireland after The Great Politics Department Schism of last academic year (aka Conchobar being a creep), with some help from Scáthach and her various ~connections~, Deirdre and Naoise are embarking on life in a cottage on the Isle of Skye and trying to forget all the drama that went down. But island life has some limitations, especially when they haven't yet got the internet set up, and Dee enlists Conall's help...

This fic is a prequel to 'In Loco Parentis', but it's better to read that one first in terms of knowing what's going on and how everyone's connected and so on.

Words: 1073, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Series: Part 2 of Group Chats of the Ulster Cycle

Fandoms: Irish Mythology, Longes mac nUislenn, Ulster Cycle

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/M

Characters: Deirdre (Ulster Cycle), Naoise mac Uisneach (Ulster Cycle), Conall Cernach (Ulster Cycle)

Relationships: Deirdre/Naoise mac Uisneach

Additional Tags: group chats of the ulster cycle, conall is an enabler, Pegging, high ratio of shenanigans to smut, but still some smut i guess dear god why is this happening to me

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2KKmjs3

[someawkwardprose]

📂!

god we don't share a fandom which means I have to Out myself on my fandom blog but

deirdre doesn't have basic life skills (on account of being raised as conchobor's "consort") so naoise and his brothers have to teach her to cook and pretend to really enjoy her first dishes when they're really desperate to throw up

ask game

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

hello and welcome to the niche corner

hello i'm néide and this is my blog, which mostly consists of me being grumpy about niche things. i have multiple degrees in medieval irish literature and while sometimes i use these to be vaguely educational, more often i use them to write incredibly specific fic about characters nobody else cares about, and this fic can be found on ao3 (for logged-in users)

so this is a guide to my incredibly specific fanfiction, which i feel also gives a reasonably good introduction to the kind of thing i'm likely to be yelling about on this blog

i am reliably informed that you don't actually need to know anything about the source material to have fun with these fics (or suffer from the angst), but also they can be more fun if you do. some have bibliographies/refs/explanations so i also know a few people have used them as a way to get started with medieval Irish lit which will never not be extremely funny to me

current WIP: chasing someone else's dream (16k, WIP): a cú chulainn/láeg reincarnation fic. they have been reincarnated, not for the first time. they've also been cursed, and thus, unlike in every life before this one, they've never met. ngl this fic contains some of the best prose i ever wrote, please read it

group chats of the ulster cycle, or, the in loco parentis series

a modern AU of the ulster cycle. sort of a college AU, turned into a ballet AU halfway through. consists of:

in loco parentis (135k, complete): my magnum opus. cú chulainn and láeg are university flatmates; group chats featuring all your favourite ulster cycle characters and also some you probably never gave a shit about; cú chulainn as a tiny trans ballet dancer and ferdia as his pas de deux partner; baking; everybody hating on conchobar; nobody dies; way more feelings about both ballet and shostakovich than anybody was expecting, including me; and much more. comes with explanatory notes / bibliography because i'm just Like That

getting the dee (9k, in progress/abandoned): a prequel to ILP, sort of a longes mac nuislenn fic except nobody dies and there are more sex toys. naoise/deirdre with guest appearances from conall. one day i'll go back to this but also i'm a coward

valentáin's day (4k oneshot, complete): a prequel to ILP, featuring láeg and cormac in the pub on valentine's day making fun of all their friends in relationships. they make out, fortunately their friendship survives the experience.

and when you move, i move (2.5k oneshot, complete): a sequel to ILP. just a horny lil cú chulainn/ferdia oneshot set a few months after ILP wraps up.

miscellaneous ulster cycle oneshots

i will be honest, most of these are sad fics of oidheadh con culainn ("the death of cú chulainn") because i just love writing angst, but there's a couple of others in there

a moment's silence (3k): smutty cú/láeg fic set during táin bó cúailnge, inspired by this picture. the most explicit fic i've written

to walk this world alone (6k): extremely niche fic featuring láeg after cú chulainn's death. some otherworldly happenings. sad but not as sad as it was originally going to be.

counterweight (3k): cú chulainn/láeg during oidheadh con culainn, anticipating cú chulainn's death. this one's pretty sad too.

dindsenchas (3.5k): missing scenes between cú chulainn and láeg during táin bó cúailnge. narrated by the landscape of ulster and addressed in second person to cú chulainn himself because the best sex scenes are the ones narrated by a tree.

in one dwelling place (2k): láeg/cú chulainn/emer. vaguely smutty, vaguely fluffy.

we'll say goodbye, today (2k): cú chulainn and láeg during oidheadh con culainn, anticipating cú chulainn's death. big sad hours.

glorious as the sunrise (3k): this is just angst. cú chulainn/láeg during oidheadh con culainn again. not particularly shippy but they love each other very much.

a marriage of inconvenience (3k): modern AU. cú chulainn wants to marry emer but unfortunately never bothered to get divorced after he married láeg for househunting purposes. a very silly fic.

of grief and glory (1.7k): cú chulainn deals with the aftermath of táin bó cúailnge, especially fer diad's death. more sad times lol.

flight risk (2.3k): teenage cú chulainn and láeg steal a spaceship. they get caught. fun scifi AU.

other medieval lit fics (non ulster cycle)

patron saint of toasties (2.5k): finn cycle fic. oisín took time out of uni to travel and now all his friends have graduated and he's lonely enough to text the christian union's "text a toastie" hotline. which is how he meets patrick. very silly modern AU gen fic mostly taking the piss out of st patrick

two birds of a feather (2.8k): yonec (marie de france) | togail bruidne da derga crossover fic. bird dad support group. conaire and yonec hang out and bond over their dads having maybe been birds. stupidest thing i ever wrote and i adore it.

quiver and shake (1.8k): fourth branch of the mabinogi fic. gwydion and gilfaethwy's special brotherly bonding time. canon typical content warnings apply.

other

absent thee from felicity (11k, WIP): hamlet | romeo & juliet crossover modern AU in which horatio and benvolio attempt to deal with the aftermath of their respective tragedies. sad at first, will gradually get sillier. haven't updated in a couple of years but that doesn't mean it's permanently abandoned, i'm just busy

a guild doctor and an abolitionist walk into a bar (5.5k, complete): mortimer sark/daragh vernant (the butterfly assassin by finn longman). in which they become friends while coparenting their fucked up assassin child and pretending they're not doing that. blatant pro-mortimer propaganda tbh and i'm not sorry

if you've never read any of my fics before and are wondering where to start, i firmly believe the reincarnation fic (current WIP) is a good one because it has a solid mix of angst, shenanigans, and weird fuckery, so you can experience the tonal whiplash of the rest of my fics all in one place! but it is a WIP and i make zero promises about upload schedule, it happens when it happens, so not so good if you're impatient haha. plenty of others to get you started though

[incorrect-ulster-cycle]

"My life isn’t as glamorous as my wanted poster makes it look like."

-- Naoise, probably

[finnlongman]

Reading about late oral/folktale versions of Old Irish stories can be such an odd experience. Today I came across a reference to a Connacht version of Oidheadh Chloinne Uisneach / Longes mac nUislenn in which Deirdre has a revolver, and that's a mental image I have absolutely no idea how to process.

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

The Ultimate Medieval Irish Guide To In Loco Parentis

aka: all the medieval Irish references and sources, explained, for the benefit of those who want to know more about the texts I'm working with, and to justify my characterisation and plot choices to those who know enough about the texts to doubt me on that front. This post is going to be long, so I'm putting all the detail below a read-more to save your dashes.

There will be uncharacteristic use of capital letters throughout to make it easier to read (and for the benefit of those only familiar with my fic-writing habits and not my post-writing habits). There will also be spoilers, so if you have not finished reading In Loco Parentis, you may wish to do that first, or only read as far as you've got, or whatever.

It should be borne in mind that I began this fic three and a quarter years ago and therefore it is entirely possible there are some additional layers and references that I have forgotten about and which never came to fruition enough for me to recognise them when I read it back from the beginning to make this post.

OKAY HERE WE GO

Chapter 1

Láeg and Cú Chulainn as odd flatmates. In the Ulster Cycle, Láeg is Cú Chulainn's charioteer. This doesn't only entail driving him around, but also looking after his weapons, giving him advice, sometimes preparing food, negotiating on his behalf, etc. You'll see him do all these things in Táin Bó Cúailnge (TBC), where the two live together in the wilderness for months at a time. In Oideadh Con Culainn (OCC), Emer implies that she, Cú Chulainn, and Láeg all live together, so the idea of them sharing a house has textual support. Yay! We don't actually know how they met, or at what age, because the texts don't seem to think that's important (there's one text, which @finnlongman has edited, which shows them being raised together from infancy, but otherwise Láeg's past is entirely obscure), so I had a pretty free rein on that front.

Láeg's other flatmates all bailed on him -- this thread will be explained a little later, because it's one of the major ways I integrated one of TBC's remscéla (fore-tales)

Cú Chulainn is 17. This is the age that he is in TBC, so it seemed the obvious place to start the story.

Lug and Súaltaim are Cú Chulainn's gay dads. Ah yes. This is a reference to Compert Con Culainn, which tells of how Cú Chulainn was conceived three times. Technically speaking, only the third child survives, and this becomes Cú Chulainn -- this is the child fathered by Súaltaim. However, this triple conception seems to mean something, and in one version of TBC, Lug is referred to as Cú Chulainn's father from the otherworld, despite the fact he's always known as "mac Súaltaim" (son of Súaltaim). The idea of them as co-parents amused me and was actually the origin point of this fic.

Cú Chulainn is small. I've talked about this before on this blog but basically, everyone who meets Cú Chulainn in TBC is like "why are you so small" and he describes himself as a "little creature" at one point (he is just a litel creacher... he cannot help this). So, canon support for that too.

Chapter 2

Emer dares/blackmails Cú Chulainn into joining the ballet soc. This is a reference to Tochmarc Emire, when Cú Chulainn goes to woo Emer and, in the course of this, is obliged to travel to train with Scáthach and develop his fighting skills (and then fight Emer's family for her).

Cú Chulainn is trans. See again: everyone in TBC asking Cú Chulainn why he's so small and why he doesn't have a beard. BIG TRANS MOOD. @finnlongman has done actual academic research on trans readings of Cú Chulainn.

Cú Chulainn is studying theology. Historically there has been a lot of dodgy scholarship on medieval Irish material, including uncritically considering all the characters to be gods and everything vaguely mythological to be an unadulterated pagan survival. This is patently untrue but we still had to put up with people calling Cú Chulainn a sun god for a while. So, our starting point for his academic experiences is with theology, but it doesn't suit him.

Cormac has a bad relationship with his dad. Again, this will be explained soon. Ditto Fergus's absence, since that's all part of the same ongoing reference.

Chapter 3

Violence against alarm clocks. There is a scene in the Macgnímartha (Boyhood Deeds) portion of TBC in which Cú Chulainn brains the person who is trying to wake him and after that it is declared that he should just be left to sleep and he'll wake up when he's good and ready. I relate to this. I am also not a morning person.

Annoying older brother Láeg. In the version of Compert Con Culainn that I mentioned above, where Láeg and Cú Chulainn are raised together from infancy, it's implied that Láeg is slightly order and that he becomes Cú's foster-brother as a result of this arrangement. Also, he gives off brotherly vibes in general in other texts too.

Chapter 4

Naoise has WiFi; by extension, Naoise isn't dead. So. Fergus and Naoise are absent because this is a reference to Longes mac nUislenn (LmU), one of the remscéla to TBC, and this is also why Cormac has a bad relationship with his dad. More on that below.

The ballet teacher is scary and Scottish. The ballet teacher is Scáthach, as we will later learn. According to Tochmarc Emire (TE) and Oileamhain/Foghlaim Con Culainn (FCC) (a later text deriving from TE), she's based at Dúnscaith. This may be on Skye, or may be in Scythia, or may be in the Otherworld. The most popular interpretation is Skye and there is a place there named Dunsgaith. That's the interpretation in this fic.

Ferdia. Ferdia, or Fer Diad, is Cú Chulainn's foster brother. We know him primarily from TBC, where they fight each other in single combat and it's extremely tragic and then Cú Chulainn recounts extensive and somewhat homoerotic mourning verses over his dead body. They also kiss a bit. He's also mentioned in TE and FCCand a couple of other late texts, though nothing extensive.

Chapter 5

Lug has two MAs. Lug is a multi-talented member of the Túatha Dé Danann whose main claim to fame is that he's good at everything: see Cath Maige Tuired. Alfred Nutt, a 19th century Celticist who believed him to be a sun god and is also possibly responsible for coining the idea of Cú Chulainn as 'the Irish Achilles' (some of his contributions were more useful than others), described him one time as a "Master of Arts". I thought this was funny.

Lug is a polytheist. The TDD are often interpreted as gods and Lug is one of the few characters with fairly convincing archaeological and historical evidence to prove that he was, indeed, worshipped as a god at some points in various places, especially if you see him as a reflex of Lugus on the continent. This is therefore a nod to that. All of our medieval Irish texts are written by Christian authors within a Christian worldview, and they have some interesting (and sometimes heretical) takes as they attempt to rationalise the TDD into something that fits into that paradigm -- such as considering them 'half-fallen angels', unfallen humans, or straight-up demons. One imagines that a modern Lug would probably not get on well with evangelicals, hence that remark, too.

Chapter 6

Cú Chulainn and Láeg's loud, obnoxious neighbours. When I began this fic, I intended for it to be a more straightforward retelling of TBC than it ended up being, so this was the start of a thread that would lead to them going to 'war' with their neighbours. I didn't end up developing this as much as planned.

Conall is visiting Naoise. Conall is often a traveller in medieval Irish texts, and of all the cousins to seek out a surviving Naoise, it would be him. This is also a reference in part to Getting The Dee, the NSFW spinoff from this fic that I have not updated in like, three years, due to being a coward.

Cú Chulainn and Cormac are cousins. Cormac is the son of Conchobar mac Nessa. Cú Chulainn's mother Dechtire (here referred to as his aunt, having acted as a surrogate for his gay dads) is the sister - or daughter - of Conchobar, according to Compert Con Culainn. I chose the sister interpretation, as more manuscripts do, but a few say daughter, just to confuse things. Anyway, Dechtire and Conchobar as siblings makes Cú Chulainn and Cormac cousins.

Sétanta is Cú Chulainn's original name (in the "baby Láeg" version of Compert Con Culainn, it's Sédana, but that's an outlier adn should not have been counted). He gains the name Cú Chulainn after he kills the hound of Culann and takes its place as protector of the livestock. In one version of TBC, he welcomes the new name; in the other, he says he prefers Sétanta. I've gone for the former here, treating Sétanta as a deadname, but that's a very modern take.

Fergus was Cú Chulainn's tutor. Fosterage is a big thing in medieval Irish lit and primarily has an educative purpose, i.e. you are fostered by someone in order to learn things from them. The more foster-parents a character has, the higher status they're supposed to be. Cú Chulainn was fostered by most of the Ulaid, and Fergus was among them. In TBC, Fergus as Cú Chulainn's foster father is the reason they don't end up fighting each other. Here, I've translated that relationship to tutor.

Chapter 7

Cú Chulainn considers switching to history. After recklessly interpreting everything as gods and pagan survivals for a few decades, academia changed tacks and decided that TBC and other texts were "windows on the Iron Age", providing clues about a genuine historical past -- at least materially, if not in terms of events. This is also not true. Anyway, after moving on from theology, Cú Chulainn follows the path that Celtic scholarship took, and considers history.

Chapter 8

Naoise is a folk singer and martial artist. In LmU, the three sons of Uisliu are not only skilled fighters, but they also seem to have magical gifts of some sort, so that when they sing, the cattle of the province give more milk and so on.

Chapter 9

Láeg offers Cú Chulainn a lift to his date. Láeg is his charioteer, so driving him to assignations is more or less his entire job.

Cú Chulainn considers switching to English or comparative literature. Having realised that medieval texts are not in fact accurate historical records, Celtic scholarship finally started considering their value as literature, and looking at the ways they were consciously constructed using literary motifs and details from Classical and Biblical sources. While they reflect aspects of history or even theology, the general contemporary consensus is that the texts as we have them are primarily literary works and should be treated as such. From theology, to history, to literature, Cú Chulainn's journey mirrors that of Celtic scholarship over the past century-ish. No, this was not a reference I expected anyone outside of academia to pick up on.

Chapter 10

Conall suggests murder. Most people in medieval Irish texts try to solve their problems by killing people, so Conall isn't unique in this regard. However, he is the "avenger" figure of the Ulster Cycle, lopping off heads in response to other people's deaths (including Cú Chulainn's; in one version he beheads 3,000 people and brings all the heads to Emer). He is always DTM (down to murder).

Láeg's car is fast. He's a charioteer. That's his job.

Conall has a motorbike. This is a reference to Conall's horse in OCC and the earlier medieval version of the death tale, Brislech Mór Maige Muirthemni (BMMM). The horse is big, red, and it bites people. It may have a dog's head. It is certainly not a normal horse. The motorbike-horse is described in more detail in Getting The Dee.

No new references in Chapter Eleven, so let's move on to Chapter Twelve

The Great Politics Department Schism. This is our most detailed glimpse at LmU as transformed for the purposes of this fic. In LmU, Deirdre is prophesied before birth to be very beautiful but to bring great trouble to Ulster. Conchobar, being a freak, decides the solution is to have her raised away from society so that she can one day be his wife (SHE'S A BABY), ignoring that she is an omen of doom. She runs off with Naoise instead. When they return, Conchobar has Naoise and his brothers murdered, a betrayal that causes Fergus to go into exile, hence he is still there in TBC, along with Cormac. I decided my version would have less death, but Conchobar being a lecherous creep survived.

Chapter 13

Láeg studies sociology. There are a lot of subjects I could have had Láeg study, but one of the functions of the charioteer is to be a messenger, mediator, and go-between, negotiating on behalf of his master and generally preventing Cú Chulainn from telling people to their face to fuck off. He would need to know a lot about people to do this effectively, so sociology seemed plausible. It also places him adjacent to the Politics-studying Ulaid: he isn't part of the aristocratic circle that Cú Chulainn and his cousins belong to, but he crosses paths with them.

Cormac the conflicted semi-exile. In TBC, Cormac is in exile in Connacht with Fergus, but he's not happy about fighting against his dad. In one version of the story, he swiches sides before the final battle, and goes back to fight for Ulster.

Chapter 14

@sorrowscream. Dee's Instagram handle is a reference to the prophecy before her birth in LmU: a scream is heard from her mother's womb, and the druid interprets her future as bringing sorrow.

@nishmacish. Naoise's Instagram handle is a semi-phonetic short form of his name, Naoise mac Uisneach. Nish as a shortform for Naoise recurs a few times in the fic. The medieval spelling of his name is Noisiu mac Uisliu, which is pronounced slightly differently. I used the late spelling because I like it better.

Chapter 15

Aunt Dechtire. I already mentioned above that Dechtire is Cormac's aunt. Here she is biologically Cú Chulainn's mother, as she is in canon, but he calls her Aunt because in this fic, she isn't legally parenting him; he's been adopted by Lug & Súaltaim.

Lug's family tree. As one of the Túatha Dé Danann, Lug's family tree is horrendous and contradictory, with different texts making completely different claims about who is related to who and how. I decided leaning into the confusion was funnier than attempting to rationalise it.

Hedgehog with a helmet. This is not a reference to medieval literature but to the Department of Anglo-Saxon, Norse and Celtic at the University of Cambridge, who have mugs and t-shirts with this symbol on. How Cormac obtained this t-shirt, I do not know. Perhaps he has an ASNaC friend. Several ASNaC friends contributed in various ways to this fic and my writing of it, so this is a hat-tip to them.

Chapter 16

Fergus the walking innuendo. Fergus's dick is, unfortunately, a matter of some preoccupation for medieval authors. In TBC, there is a scene in which his sword is replaced with one of wood while he's fucking Medb. Later, Láeg comments on the length of the sword in its scabbard and Cú Chulainn is like "it might be long, but it's only made of wood" -- aka, size doesn't matter if it doesn't actually work. It's an impotence joke. He later gets his (very long) sword back. It's as big as a rainbow and may or may not be a lightsaber. There are other texts, like the early modern version of Táin Bó Flidaise, where Fergus's sexual prowess and genitalia becomes a central theme. All in all it seemed appropriate to have him be the one making the dirty jokes.

No new references in Chapter 17, nor in Chapter 18, although...

Cormac plans to steal back his own car. This is not intended to reference any specific medieval Irish text, but, it has some parallels with the tale Táin Bó Fráich in which the eponymous cattle raid is about retrieving the character's own cattle.

Chapter 19

Cú Chulainn steals a car. Again, this is not supposed to directly reference any particularly text, but it does have parallels with an episode in the Macgnímrada where he goes for a joyride in Conchobar's chariot, with Conchobar's charioteer Ibar driving.

Chapter 20

Scáthach's children. In canon, Scáthach has three children: her daughter Úathach, and two sons, Cat and Cuar. Here, we learn that Úathach is also a member of a dance company, suggesting she's following in her mother's footsteps, in the same way that canon Úathach is also a fighter.

Chapter 21 has no new references, and nor does Chapter 22, except

Dee and Naoise, the depraved sex fiends. This is a reference to Getting The Dee, the spin-off fic, which in turn takes its origins from LmU. After Deirdre is sequestered away so that she can grow up as Conchobar's child bride, we learn that one of her only human interactions is with Leborcham, a female satirist who couldn't be kept away. Satirists are often seen as a bit dodgy, often make ribald jokes, and generally occupy a somewhat marginal position. I joked that Dee got all her sex ed from Leborcham and there was no way that would have been vanilla. Hence, that fic. Conall, on the other hand, is never really sexualised in canon despite having several different partners -- certainly not portrayed as Sexy the way Fergus is -- so we headcanon him as quite tame in terms of sexual escapades.

Chapter 23

Ballet. Throughout this fic, ballet is used to take the place of fighting and heroic behaviour. In particular, the various tricks and fancy moves that the characters do is supposed to represent the heroic 'feats' that Scáthach teaches Cú Chulainn in TE/FCC and which he uses against his enemies in TBC. I've always thought the 'salmon leap' sounded like some of the jumps that ballet dancers do, for example, and there are various other 'feats' that involve jumping and balancing in implausible ways, which seem easier to represent through dance or gymnastics than other activities.

Chapter 24

Training with Scáthach again. Generally, anything with Scáthach is drawing on TE/FCC or Cú Chulainn and Ferdia's reminisces about it in TBC.

Chapter 25

Fergus is Medb's side chick. In TBC, Fergus is sleeping with Medb, queen of Connacht. Ailill, Medb's husband, is aware of this, but doesn't interfere, saying that Medb is just doing it to keep Fergus loyal.

Chapter 26

Ferdia is jealous of Cú Chulainn's talent and believes he'll always come second. This detail, which recurs a few times in the fic, comes from FCC: Ferdia makes some exclamation about how none of Scáthach's pupils will ever win glory if they're competing with Cú Chulainn, because he'll always be the best.

Aoife. Aoife (medieval spelling Aífe) is another warrior woman who is referenced in TE (I think?) and Aided Óenfhir Aífe. She is sometimes portrayed as Scáthach's sister as well as her rival. Cú Chulainn fights her on Scáthach's behalf, wins by tricking her, and ends up fathering her son, Connla, whom he later kills. I avoided that whole part of the story for obvious reasons but the fact that head of the showcase board is called Aoife is a reference to this sister/rival relationship with Scáthach. I don't imagine her as Scáthach's sister here, but you can if you want, it doesn't change anything.

Chapter 27

Láeg fetches groceries. Another task that wouldn't be outside his remit as charioteer, though would probably involve more hunting and fewer trips to Tesco in a medieval text.

Ferdia has a brother. Ferdia's brother, Fer Det, is mentioned briefly in TBC and I think also shows up in FCC, or maybe TE? Certainly there's some mention of him somewhere else, but without the texts to hand, I couldn't tell you. We know nothing about him other than his name and I don't remember ever seeing them interact, hence, they're not close.

Chapter 28

Fergus's love life. As mentioned, Fergus is sleeping with Medb in TBC and Ailill doesn't seem to care; who's to say they weren't all fucking? In other texts, Ailill is considerably Less Chill about this arrangement, hence the idea that the threesome fun won't last, but right now, it's going okay.

Ferdia's connection to Medb. Ferdia is from Connacht, so Medb in TBC is his queen and he owes her his loyalty -- hence how he ends up opposing Cú Chulainn. There may be a more direct family connection between them too, but here they're just flatmates (i.e. live in the same place, i.e. from the same province).

Finnabair and Medb. In TBC, Finnabair is Medb's daughter. Honestly, Medb's kind of a shit mum, and generally uses her daughter only as a bargaining piece, offering her to every warrior to try and make them fight Cú Chulainn. At one point, Finnabair dies, and then she shows up later in the text as if nothing happened. There is definitely a similar continuity error with her presence in this fic as I think she's referred to as a fresher here but in one of the spin-off fics, it's implied that she was there the previous year. This feels appropriate. She is not here related to Medb, at least not as closely.

Chapter 29

Cú Chulainn's grandfather is a poet / cryptic pain in the arse. Cú Chulainn's grandfather via Dechtire is Cathbad, a druid. Druids are known for making deeply unclear prophecies, and indeed, extremely clear ones that everybody relevant nonetheless ignores.

Chapter 30

Cú Chulainn will not go to the flat opposite, but Láeg will. In TBC, Cú Chulainn is unable to visit the Connacht camp himself, so he sends Láeg to take messages to his allies there and find out who is going to be sent to fight him next. Láeg, as a charioteer, is able to mediate and go to the places where Cú Chulainn himself can't.

No new references in Chapter 31, so onto Chapter 32

A short, glorious career over a long, undistinguished one. In the Macgnímrada, a prophecy is made that the child who takes up arms on a particular day will win great glory, but live a short life. In one version, Cú Chulainn hears the whole prophecy and doesn't care; in the other, he only hears the first part, and when he's later told about the 'short life' caveat, he's like 'eh, seems worth the trade'. This is an echo of Achilles making the same trade and is probably a deliberate/direct Classical allusion by the authors of the Táin.

Chapter 33

Empty nest Láeg / travelling to study. Láeg isn't mentioned in the earliest version of TE, but in the later ones, he's the one who drives Cú Chulainn to his encounters with Emer. He doesn't, however, accompany Cú Chulainn across the sea to train with Scáthach, so what is he doing all this time? If they did grow up together, how does he cope with that absence?

Chapter 34

Cú Chulainn and Ferdia competing against each other. This is, of course, a reference to the Comrac Fir Diad episode of TBC, as well as to Ferdia's jealousy in FCC, which I already mentioned.

Chapter 35

Derbforgaill. This whole episode is inspired by Aided Derbforgaill, a violent story in which a pissing contest between the women of Ulster turns nasty when Derbforgaill out-pees them all and they attack and mutilate her because they think she'll steal their men. Cú Chulainn avenges her by killing the women, while her husband Lugaid (CC's foster son) dies of grief. It's a tale about outsiders, bodies, and being seen as biologically abherrant for the way you pee -- kind of prescient in the transphobic context of our present day. I omitted Lugaid from the story and made CC's solidarity-vengeance about shared identity rather than a kinship connection as it is in canon. It's a story where a trans reading would be fascinating but has yet to be done in an academic context, and I am hoping @finnlongman will do one since they said they would. On this blog we write fics, not conference papers.

Chapter 36

Cú Chulainn beats up the local camogie team as a child. In the Macgnímrada, when Cú Chulainn first comes to Emain Macha as a six-year-old or thereabouts, he joins the boy troop playing hurling. They don't want to let him play, so he beats them all up. Camogie is like hurling, but typically played by girls; this would be pre-transition Cú Chulainn.

Chapter 37

Cú Chulainn, rage, bodies, and ballet. The way Cú Chulainn describes his anger in this chapter, as being something that seems to turn him inside out, is a reference to the ríastrad. This transformation comes on him in various texts, particularly TBC. Some people have likened it to the Incredible Hulk: when he gets really angry, his body contorts, twists, turns inside out, and he rips people apart. My group chat and I think Venom is a better parallel because it's a lot more Abstract Body Horror than just Getting Big. His knees go backwards, his organs show, his eyes pop out etc.

Chapter 38

Conall is fifteen minutes late with Starbucks. Conall has a way of missing a lot of the Big Events of the Ulster Cycle, but it's BMMM/OCC where this is most obvious. He shows up only once Cú Chulainn has already died, and then avenges him.

Láeg answers messages about Cú Chulainn. As mentioned, the charioteer is often called upon to mediate and function as a go-between, and people will often ask him things about Cú Chulainn.

Chapter 39

Pointe shoes. Here, pointe is the one ballet technique / heroic feat that Cú Chulainn has which Ferdia does not have. In that regard, they're kind of fulfilling the function that the gae bolga fulfils in TBC: a weapon that will give CC the edge. However they're also a reference to the way that Cú Chulainn's ambiguous masculinity causes his opponents to underestimate him -- while they're questioning his beardlessness and his size, he's running rings around them with fighting ability. He's utilising his gender nonconformity to attain heroic/balletic prowess that others trapped in more rigid binary norms can't.

Conall the babysitter. In some texts -- either TE or FCC, I think -- Conall seems responsible for picking Cú Chulainn up from training with Scáthach and giving him a lift back to Ireland, because as mentioned, he's the traveller of the Ulster Cycle. As Cú Chulainn's avenger in BMMM/OCC he also sits in that 'protective' niche that would make him a good babysitter. Finally, he's one of Cú Chulainn'a foster brothers from infancy, very similar to Láeg -- this is referenced in TE.

Chapter 40

Red, white, black. The recurring motif of these three colours in this chapter is a reference to LmU, where Deirdre says that she could love a man with those three colours. Naoise has hair as black as a raven, skin white as snow, cheeks red as blood.

Chapter 41

Cú Chulainn doesn't run from anything. In TBC, the only time Cú Chulainn runs away from a fight is when Fergus negotiates with him to do so, so that the two don't have to fight each other. Cú Chulainn is initially reluctant as he's terrified of looking like a coward, but Fergus says he'll later run away from Cú Chulainn at a pivotal moment and turn the tide of battle. This is what ends up happening.

'When he let himself feel his emotions, people got hurt.' Another reference to the ríastrad, and what happens when Cú Chulainn is unrestrained.

Chapter 42

The Morrígan, and Cú Chulainn's rejection of her. As I mentioned in the chapter notes, there's no text in which the Morrígan and Cú Chulainn seem to have a pedagogical relationship. However, she approaches him in TBC and tries to seduce him. He turns her down -- rudely -- saying that he isn't in this for "women's arses". She promises to cause him trouble. In Táin Bó Regamna, they similarly have a challenging/antagonistic relationship. Elsewhere, however, she seems to be helping him. She interferes with his life at various points and may prophesy his death.

The Morrígan taught in a tiny church hall a little way outside Armagh. Armagh is associated with / close to Emain Macha, home of Conchobar and the Ulaid.

Cú Chulainn (and Ferdia) having to prove themselves over and over again, with the judgment as to their skills not being accepted. This is a reference to Fled Bricrenn, in which Cú Chulainn's worthiness to receive the champion's portion is repeatedly challenged by the two others competing for it, and the three are forced to take on increasingly difficult challenges to prove their worthiness. Cú Chulainn excels all three times, and is ultimately awarded the prize.

Scáthach has her sources. Scáthach seems to be a semi-Otherworldly figure, and has the gift of prophecy. Verba Scathaige is a very early text in which she prophesies some of the events of the Táin (telling us a version of the story existed much earlier than any of our surviving copies!).

Chapter 43

Láeg likes driving. Well. He's a charioteer. Not much to this one.

The Morrígan's mysterious contacts / ability to make things go viral. She's one of the Túatha Dé Danann, and a shapeshifter; she can do all sorts of things, and knows all sorts of people. She's also compared to the Furies in TBC -- with Allecto, specifically -- and inflames the passions of the fighters so that they turn on each other. She'd probably be really great at Twitter.

Morrígan's student who pulled out of the showcase. I had a vague sense like this was Lóch from TBC, who fights Cú Chulainn; the Morrígan helps him by turning into various animals and causing Cú Chulainn a lot of trouble, but CC still ultimately triumphs. I didn't really develop this thread further, but that was my thinking there.

The Morrígan's regret that Cú Chulainn walked away from her. She's pretty pissed when he rejects her in TBC, so that's the main thread there.

Chapter 44 has no new references to explain, just ballet. Chapter 45

Lug is impressed with Cú Chulainn. When Lug comes to Cú Chulainn during TBC, to heal him, he tells him he's done well to fight alone.

"I shouldn't have to be fighting this fight alone, you know? I shouldn't be the one trying to fix things by myself. I'm seventeen, for fuck's sake." TBC is the story of Cú Chulainn's single-handed defense of the Ulaid as a seventeen-year-old, and at one point he speaks a loud lament / complaint that he is being obliged to do so, because it's killing him and he's sick and tired of waiting for backup.

Insecure Cú Chulainn doesn't believe compliments. Although this may seem out of character to many readers, this is actually a direct reference to Fled Bricrenn, where Cú Chulainn refuses to believe that people are cheering for him, instead thinking they're laughing at him. It drives him to fight harder, but it's a sign that he's actually deeply insecure about his position as champion, because he doesn't think others recognise him as such. Jeremy Lowe makes some good comments about this in his article 'Kicking Over The Traces: The Instability of Cú Chulainn'. I find insecure Cú Chulainn fascinating to read and write about since most people assume he is confident.

Is Fergus related to Cú Chulainn? This is a good question. In some versions of Compert Con Culainn, Súaltaim is referred to as 'Súaltaim mac Róich'. This would make him Fergus's brother, making Fergus Cú Chulainn's uncle. However, this relationship is never emphasised in canon and their fosterage bond is more important.

Cú Chulainn's rich uncle. Via Lug and his convoluted family tree, Cú Chulainn is related to most of the Túatha Dé Danann -- you'd probably want Cath Maige Tuired or Lebor Gabala Érinn for details on that front. His rich uncle is one of them, but I couldn't decide what the funniest option was, so I left it unconfirmed.

Chapter 46

Ferdia suggests going abroad. This one's niche, but there's a suuuper late text called Eachtra na gCuradh where I believe Ferdia is part of a group travelling with Cú Chulainn on various international adventures. It doesn't have an English translation, so I haven't got very far with reading it yet. I'm pretty sure Ferdia's in it, though.

Chapter 47

Idh mac Riangabra. Láeg comes from a family of charioteers. In Fled Bricrenn, Idh mac Riangabra is Conall Cernach's charioteer. In the Stowe version of TBC, he's Ferdia's charioteer, and he and Láeg end up fighting each other in an attempt to protect their respective masters. I didn't go for either of these, but I had it so that he's encountered Conall in the past, as a reference to their connection, and the two brothers are at odds with each other, as a nod to Stowe.

Idh studies in Galway, while Láeg went north. As Ferdia's charioteer in TBC-Stowe, Idh would be connected to Connacht; Láeg, as Cú Chulainn's, would be connected to Ulster. This causes tension.

Conall's wanderlust. As mentioned, Conall is a traveller, and stories have him going as far away as Jerusalem in his various wanderings. He rarely seems to settle down in any one place.

Chapter 48

Láeg has Ulster Irish. Irish has three main dialect groupings: Ulster, Connacht, and Munster Irish. (Leinster Irish is extinct.) Láeg greets Idh by asking 'Caidé mar atá tú?', a greeting you'd only really hear in Ulster (versus 'Conas atá tú?' or 'Conas tann tú?' etc in other dialects); Idh responds by asking him if he has Ulster Irish now (not sure non-Irish speakers would have picked up on why he asked that). This is another reference to TBC-Stowe, where the pair of them are on opposite sides of the provincial divide.

Sedlang mac Riangabra. This brother also shows up in Fled Bricrenn, as Loegaire Búadach's charioteer.

Idh did geography. This would be a good subject for a charioteer, as they're expected to be able to navigate and interpret the world around them, explaining it to their masters.

Idh is a taxi driver. Again, this is obvious: he's a charioteer in canon.

Sedlang is a chauffeur. Likewise.

Chapter 49 has no new references. Chapter 50

Fighty Emer. In Fled Bricrenn, Emer is 100% down to cut a bitch to assert her supremacy as the pre-eminent wife among the Ulaid, and to support Cú Chulainn's claim to the champion's portion. In Serglige Con Culainn, she's also totally ready to fight to win back Cú Chulainn after he goes off with Fand.

Pro-riot Morrígan. The Morrígan is a war goddess and therefore would be 100% down for riots and fighting of all sorts, in most cases. She goes looking for trouble and if she doesn't find it, she creates it.

Chapter 51

Ferdia's barre work is not Scáthach's. Prior to their fight in TBC, Cú Chulainn watches Ferdia practising his feats and sees that he has moved on from those they learned together and is now improvising, coming up with new moves that he'll use to fight Cú Chulainn -- making Cú Chulainn briefly doubt whether he can beat him.

Cú Chulainn once again doesn't believe people's compliments. Back to Fled Bricrenn.

Láeg's motivational insults. In TBC, Cú Chulainn asks Láeg to insult him if it looks like he's losing a fight, so that it'll motivate him to fight harder. He does, and it works.

Láeg as the personal driver who gets Cú Chulainn out of trouble. This is basically just the charioteer's entire job description.

Láeg as his big brother. Again, we covered this -- it's always the vibe between them, but there's a version of Compert Con Culainn that makes it literal.

Chapter 52

Láeg has a close-up view of Cú Chulainn and Ferdia's duet. He and Idh (or Ferdia's unnamed charioteer in the non-Stowe versions) are watching their fight in TBC; the rest of the army is further away, like the audience here.

Cú Chulainn jumps into Ferdia's arms and Ferdia 'throws' him. This is a direct reference to their fight in TBC, where Cú Chulainn jumps onto Ferdia's shield and is thrown backwards over the ford, multiple times.

Idh's partner Áed is completely made up and not a reference to anything, but worth explaining that they are wearing a gold fáinne, which is a pin badge to indicate Irish fluency/willingness to speak Irish, hence why Láeg attempts to speak to them in Irish. Láeg assumes this means they met Idh via Gaeilgeoir circles, and is probably correct.

Chapter 53

Cú Chulainn is worried about his reputation. This is a reference to literally every text ever, because medieval Irish literature operates on a shame/honour continuum where reputation is everything. In particular, it references Fled Bricrenn and TBC, as this whole section does, but it's also just Cú Chulainn's entire character.

Ferdia is nervous. In one version of TBC, Ferdia has a sleepless night before his fight with Cú Chulainn and expresses serious nerves and reservations.

They'd pick ballet over each other. As TBC proves, some loyalties go deeper than affection.

The cash prize and the glory can only go to one. Of course, I couldn't let us get away without actually having a Comrac Fir Diad episode -- in keeping with TBC, they have to compete against each other. The Morrígan's part in egging this on is in keeping with her war goddess function in TBC, too.

Chapter 54

Cú Chulainn and Ferdia embracing. In TBC, during their fight, they kiss each night after calling off their bouts for the day -- for the first two nights, at least. Eventually the mood sours, but in the meantime, we have these sad goodbye kisses that kil me every time.

Cú Chulainn wins. Of course he does. In TBC he kills Ferdia. In Fled Bricrenn he is awarded the champion's portion. There's no other way this could have ended. (BUT they won't be separated and nobody will die, because this is a happy fic, even if it has its moments of angst.)

Chapter 55 / Epilogue

There aren't really any new references here, but I thought it was important to show Láeg having a reason to move back in with Cú Chulainn again and throw in a few callbacks to chapter 1 (the shitty toaster, for example). Cú Chulainn is 'only using him for his driving license', i.e. treating Láeg as his charioteer. Láeg is insulting him, because that's his job.

'technically i'm from Connacht'. Not the fucking time, Ferdia.

And that is, I think, everything! I might have missed some things. If there is anything I haven't explained that you thought was a reference, please feel free to ask and I will attempt to explain it. Other than that... enjoy. I hope this has been educational.

One final note is that I did all of this from memory without referring to the texts in question, so if you spot any errors (e.g. I've said something is in one text but you know it's in another), lmk. Would be VERY excited to know which of these references youse spotted and which were news, so if you've made it to the end of this almost-7,000-word post, please slide into my inbox and tell me.

FINALLY if you have not read In Loco Parentis but this post made you want to, I would be delighted if you would do that. Please leave me comments. Thanks.

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

YEP

@trans-cuchulainn

yeah conchubur is a dick

[incorrect-ulster-cycle]

Naoise: I got grounded for a whole week just because I came home late.

Aindle: Well, you deserved it. I mean, getting everyone's hopes up like that and then showing up again.

[incorrect-ulster-cycle]

Sorry, I confused url. That was for a jim butcher blog. My bad. Thank you so much for answering, Oh but I do have a question for you. I just read a post about the legend of Naoise and their brothers from @tainbocualinge and in the end they let themselves being decapitated by a King friend/guest of conchobar after, like, slaughtering armies for days. They just even fight who will have their head cut first and I was so confused. Where they under geass? Was the king so badass? Why just give up?

umm that's very much not what happens in the versions of the story i know, in longes mac nuislenn as i know it, naoise gets, like, fucking impaled in the world's worst greeting ever when he gets home and then all-out slaughter breaks out and everyone else dies too

see @finnlongman's video for details:

https://youtu.be/qnb6xNX3YTU (part ii since that's the part where they die)

idk if the beheading is like... a weird modern variant version since i only know the medieval version well and to a lesser extent the early modern version, but this is the story i'm working with here