#now with fewer typos and no accidental misgendering of áed

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

The Ultimate Medieval Irish Guide To In Loco Parentis

aka: all the medieval Irish references and sources, explained, for the benefit of those who want to know more about the texts I'm working with, and to justify my characterisation and plot choices to those who know enough about the texts to doubt me on that front. This post is going to be long, so I'm putting all the detail below a read-more to save your dashes.

There will be uncharacteristic use of capital letters throughout to make it easier to read (and for the benefit of those only familiar with my fic-writing habits and not my post-writing habits). There will also be spoilers, so if you have not finished reading In Loco Parentis, you may wish to do that first, or only read as far as you've got, or whatever.

It should be borne in mind that I began this fic three and a quarter years ago and therefore it is entirely possible there are some additional layers and references that I have forgotten about and which never came to fruition enough for me to recognise them when I read it back from the beginning to make this post.

OKAY HERE WE GO

Chapter 1

Láeg and Cú Chulainn as odd flatmates. In the Ulster Cycle, Láeg is Cú Chulainn's charioteer. This doesn't only entail driving him around, but also looking after his weapons, giving him advice, sometimes preparing food, negotiating on his behalf, etc. You'll see him do all these things in Táin Bó Cúailnge (TBC), where the two live together in the wilderness for months at a time. In Oideadh Con Culainn (OCC), Emer implies that she, Cú Chulainn, and Láeg all live together, so the idea of them sharing a house has textual support. Yay! We don't actually know how they met, or at what age, because the texts don't seem to think that's important (there's one text, which @finnlongman has edited, which shows them being raised together from infancy, but otherwise Láeg's past is entirely obscure), so I had a pretty free rein on that front.

Láeg's other flatmates all bailed on him -- this thread will be explained a little later, because it's one of the major ways I integrated one of TBC's remscéla (fore-tales)

Cú Chulainn is 17. This is the age that he is in TBC, so it seemed the obvious place to start the story.

Lug and Súaltaim are Cú Chulainn's gay dads. Ah yes. This is a reference to Compert Con Culainn, which tells of how Cú Chulainn was conceived three times. Technically speaking, only the third child survives, and this becomes Cú Chulainn -- this is the child fathered by Súaltaim. However, this triple conception seems to mean something, and in one version of TBC, Lug is referred to as Cú Chulainn's father from the otherworld, despite the fact he's always known as "mac Súaltaim" (son of Súaltaim). The idea of them as co-parents amused me and was actually the origin point of this fic.

Cú Chulainn is small. I've talked about this before on this blog but basically, everyone who meets Cú Chulainn in TBC is like "why are you so small" and he describes himself as a "little creature" at one point (he is just a litel creacher... he cannot help this). So, canon support for that too.

Chapter 2

Emer dares/blackmails Cú Chulainn into joining the ballet soc. This is a reference to Tochmarc Emire, when Cú Chulainn goes to woo Emer and, in the course of this, is obliged to travel to train with Scáthach and develop his fighting skills (and then fight Emer's family for her).

Cú Chulainn is trans. See again: everyone in TBC asking Cú Chulainn why he's so small and why he doesn't have a beard. BIG TRANS MOOD. @finnlongman has done actual academic research on trans readings of Cú Chulainn.

Cú Chulainn is studying theology. Historically there has been a lot of dodgy scholarship on medieval Irish material, including uncritically considering all the characters to be gods and everything vaguely mythological to be an unadulterated pagan survival. This is patently untrue but we still had to put up with people calling Cú Chulainn a sun god for a while. So, our starting point for his academic experiences is with theology, but it doesn't suit him.

Cormac has a bad relationship with his dad. Again, this will be explained soon. Ditto Fergus's absence, since that's all part of the same ongoing reference.

Chapter 3

Violence against alarm clocks. There is a scene in the Macgnímartha (Boyhood Deeds) portion of TBC in which Cú Chulainn brains the person who is trying to wake him and after that it is declared that he should just be left to sleep and he'll wake up when he's good and ready. I relate to this. I am also not a morning person.

Annoying older brother Láeg. In the version of Compert Con Culainn that I mentioned above, where Láeg and Cú Chulainn are raised together from infancy, it's implied that Láeg is slightly order and that he becomes Cú's foster-brother as a result of this arrangement. Also, he gives off brotherly vibes in general in other texts too.

Chapter 4

Naoise has WiFi; by extension, Naoise isn't dead. So. Fergus and Naoise are absent because this is a reference to Longes mac nUislenn (LmU), one of the remscéla to TBC, and this is also why Cormac has a bad relationship with his dad. More on that below.

The ballet teacher is scary and Scottish. The ballet teacher is Scáthach, as we will later learn. According to Tochmarc Emire (TE) and Oileamhain/Foghlaim Con Culainn (FCC) (a later text deriving from TE), she's based at Dúnscaith. This may be on Skye, or may be in Scythia, or may be in the Otherworld. The most popular interpretation is Skye and there is a place there named Dunsgaith. That's the interpretation in this fic.

Ferdia. Ferdia, or Fer Diad, is Cú Chulainn's foster brother. We know him primarily from TBC, where they fight each other in single combat and it's extremely tragic and then Cú Chulainn recounts extensive and somewhat homoerotic mourning verses over his dead body. They also kiss a bit. He's also mentioned in TE and FCCand a couple of other late texts, though nothing extensive.

Chapter 5

Lug has two MAs. Lug is a multi-talented member of the Túatha Dé Danann whose main claim to fame is that he's good at everything: see Cath Maige Tuired. Alfred Nutt, a 19th century Celticist who believed him to be a sun god and is also possibly responsible for coining the idea of Cú Chulainn as 'the Irish Achilles' (some of his contributions were more useful than others), described him one time as a "Master of Arts". I thought this was funny.

Lug is a polytheist. The TDD are often interpreted as gods and Lug is one of the few characters with fairly convincing archaeological and historical evidence to prove that he was, indeed, worshipped as a god at some points in various places, especially if you see him as a reflex of Lugus on the continent. This is therefore a nod to that. All of our medieval Irish texts are written by Christian authors within a Christian worldview, and they have some interesting (and sometimes heretical) takes as they attempt to rationalise the TDD into something that fits into that paradigm -- such as considering them 'half-fallen angels', unfallen humans, or straight-up demons. One imagines that a modern Lug would probably not get on well with evangelicals, hence that remark, too.

Chapter 6

Cú Chulainn and Láeg's loud, obnoxious neighbours. When I began this fic, I intended for it to be a more straightforward retelling of TBC than it ended up being, so this was the start of a thread that would lead to them going to 'war' with their neighbours. I didn't end up developing this as much as planned.

Conall is visiting Naoise. Conall is often a traveller in medieval Irish texts, and of all the cousins to seek out a surviving Naoise, it would be him. This is also a reference in part to Getting The Dee, the NSFW spinoff from this fic that I have not updated in like, three years, due to being a coward.

Cú Chulainn and Cormac are cousins. Cormac is the son of Conchobar mac Nessa. Cú Chulainn's mother Dechtire (here referred to as his aunt, having acted as a surrogate for his gay dads) is the sister - or daughter - of Conchobar, according to Compert Con Culainn. I chose the sister interpretation, as more manuscripts do, but a few say daughter, just to confuse things. Anyway, Dechtire and Conchobar as siblings makes Cú Chulainn and Cormac cousins.

Sétanta is Cú Chulainn's original name (in the "baby Láeg" version of Compert Con Culainn, it's Sédana, but that's an outlier adn should not have been counted). He gains the name Cú Chulainn after he kills the hound of Culann and takes its place as protector of the livestock. In one version of TBC, he welcomes the new name; in the other, he says he prefers Sétanta. I've gone for the former here, treating Sétanta as a deadname, but that's a very modern take.

Fergus was Cú Chulainn's tutor. Fosterage is a big thing in medieval Irish lit and primarily has an educative purpose, i.e. you are fostered by someone in order to learn things from them. The more foster-parents a character has, the higher status they're supposed to be. Cú Chulainn was fostered by most of the Ulaid, and Fergus was among them. In TBC, Fergus as Cú Chulainn's foster father is the reason they don't end up fighting each other. Here, I've translated that relationship to tutor.

Chapter 7

Cú Chulainn considers switching to history. After recklessly interpreting everything as gods and pagan survivals for a few decades, academia changed tacks and decided that TBC and other texts were "windows on the Iron Age", providing clues about a genuine historical past -- at least materially, if not in terms of events. This is also not true. Anyway, after moving on from theology, Cú Chulainn follows the path that Celtic scholarship took, and considers history.

Chapter 8

Naoise is a folk singer and martial artist. In LmU, the three sons of Uisliu are not only skilled fighters, but they also seem to have magical gifts of some sort, so that when they sing, the cattle of the province give more milk and so on.

Chapter 9

Láeg offers Cú Chulainn a lift to his date. Láeg is his charioteer, so driving him to assignations is more or less his entire job.

Cú Chulainn considers switching to English or comparative literature. Having realised that medieval texts are not in fact accurate historical records, Celtic scholarship finally started considering their value as literature, and looking at the ways they were consciously constructed using literary motifs and details from Classical and Biblical sources. While they reflect aspects of history or even theology, the general contemporary consensus is that the texts as we have them are primarily literary works and should be treated as such. From theology, to history, to literature, Cú Chulainn's journey mirrors that of Celtic scholarship over the past century-ish. No, this was not a reference I expected anyone outside of academia to pick up on.

Chapter 10

Conall suggests murder. Most people in medieval Irish texts try to solve their problems by killing people, so Conall isn't unique in this regard. However, he is the "avenger" figure of the Ulster Cycle, lopping off heads in response to other people's deaths (including Cú Chulainn's; in one version he beheads 3,000 people and brings all the heads to Emer). He is always DTM (down to murder).

Láeg's car is fast. He's a charioteer. That's his job.

Conall has a motorbike. This is a reference to Conall's horse in OCC and the earlier medieval version of the death tale, Brislech Mór Maige Muirthemni (BMMM). The horse is big, red, and it bites people. It may have a dog's head. It is certainly not a normal horse. The motorbike-horse is described in more detail in Getting The Dee.

No new references in Chapter Eleven, so let's move on to Chapter Twelve

The Great Politics Department Schism. This is our most detailed glimpse at LmU as transformed for the purposes of this fic. In LmU, Deirdre is prophesied before birth to be very beautiful but to bring great trouble to Ulster. Conchobar, being a freak, decides the solution is to have her raised away from society so that she can one day be his wife (SHE'S A BABY), ignoring that she is an omen of doom. She runs off with Naoise instead. When they return, Conchobar has Naoise and his brothers murdered, a betrayal that causes Fergus to go into exile, hence he is still there in TBC, along with Cormac. I decided my version would have less death, but Conchobar being a lecherous creep survived.

Chapter 13

Láeg studies sociology. There are a lot of subjects I could have had Láeg study, but one of the functions of the charioteer is to be a messenger, mediator, and go-between, negotiating on behalf of his master and generally preventing Cú Chulainn from telling people to their face to fuck off. He would need to know a lot about people to do this effectively, so sociology seemed plausible. It also places him adjacent to the Politics-studying Ulaid: he isn't part of the aristocratic circle that Cú Chulainn and his cousins belong to, but he crosses paths with them.

Cormac the conflicted semi-exile. In TBC, Cormac is in exile in Connacht with Fergus, but he's not happy about fighting against his dad. In one version of the story, he swiches sides before the final battle, and goes back to fight for Ulster.

Chapter 14

@sorrowscream. Dee's Instagram handle is a reference to the prophecy before her birth in LmU: a scream is heard from her mother's womb, and the druid interprets her future as bringing sorrow.

@nishmacish. Naoise's Instagram handle is a semi-phonetic short form of his name, Naoise mac Uisneach. Nish as a shortform for Naoise recurs a few times in the fic. The medieval spelling of his name is Noisiu mac Uisliu, which is pronounced slightly differently. I used the late spelling because I like it better.

Chapter 15

Aunt Dechtire. I already mentioned above that Dechtire is Cormac's aunt. Here she is biologically Cú Chulainn's mother, as she is in canon, but he calls her Aunt because in this fic, she isn't legally parenting him; he's been adopted by Lug & Súaltaim.

Lug's family tree. As one of the Túatha Dé Danann, Lug's family tree is horrendous and contradictory, with different texts making completely different claims about who is related to who and how. I decided leaning into the confusion was funnier than attempting to rationalise it.

Hedgehog with a helmet. This is not a reference to medieval literature but to the Department of Anglo-Saxon, Norse and Celtic at the University of Cambridge, who have mugs and t-shirts with this symbol on. How Cormac obtained this t-shirt, I do not know. Perhaps he has an ASNaC friend. Several ASNaC friends contributed in various ways to this fic and my writing of it, so this is a hat-tip to them.

Chapter 16

Fergus the walking innuendo. Fergus's dick is, unfortunately, a matter of some preoccupation for medieval authors. In TBC, there is a scene in which his sword is replaced with one of wood while he's fucking Medb. Later, Láeg comments on the length of the sword in its scabbard and Cú Chulainn is like "it might be long, but it's only made of wood" -- aka, size doesn't matter if it doesn't actually work. It's an impotence joke. He later gets his (very long) sword back. It's as big as a rainbow and may or may not be a lightsaber. There are other texts, like the early modern version of Táin Bó Flidaise, where Fergus's sexual prowess and genitalia becomes a central theme. All in all it seemed appropriate to have him be the one making the dirty jokes.

No new references in Chapter 17, nor in Chapter 18, although...

Cormac plans to steal back his own car. This is not intended to reference any specific medieval Irish text, but, it has some parallels with the tale Táin Bó Fráich in which the eponymous cattle raid is about retrieving the character's own cattle.

Chapter 19

Cú Chulainn steals a car. Again, this is not supposed to directly reference any particularly text, but it does have parallels with an episode in the Macgnímrada where he goes for a joyride in Conchobar's chariot, with Conchobar's charioteer Ibar driving.

Chapter 20

Scáthach's children. In canon, Scáthach has three children: her daughter Úathach, and two sons, Cat and Cuar. Here, we learn that Úathach is also a member of a dance company, suggesting she's following in her mother's footsteps, in the same way that canon Úathach is also a fighter.

Chapter 21 has no new references, and nor does Chapter 22, except

Dee and Naoise, the depraved sex fiends. This is a reference to Getting The Dee, the spin-off fic, which in turn takes its origins from LmU. After Deirdre is sequestered away so that she can grow up as Conchobar's child bride, we learn that one of her only human interactions is with Leborcham, a female satirist who couldn't be kept away. Satirists are often seen as a bit dodgy, often make ribald jokes, and generally occupy a somewhat marginal position. I joked that Dee got all her sex ed from Leborcham and there was no way that would have been vanilla. Hence, that fic. Conall, on the other hand, is never really sexualised in canon despite having several different partners -- certainly not portrayed as Sexy the way Fergus is -- so we headcanon him as quite tame in terms of sexual escapades.

Chapter 23

Ballet. Throughout this fic, ballet is used to take the place of fighting and heroic behaviour. In particular, the various tricks and fancy moves that the characters do is supposed to represent the heroic 'feats' that Scáthach teaches Cú Chulainn in TE/FCC and which he uses against his enemies in TBC. I've always thought the 'salmon leap' sounded like some of the jumps that ballet dancers do, for example, and there are various other 'feats' that involve jumping and balancing in implausible ways, which seem easier to represent through dance or gymnastics than other activities.

Chapter 24

Training with Scáthach again. Generally, anything with Scáthach is drawing on TE/FCC or Cú Chulainn and Ferdia's reminisces about it in TBC.

Chapter 25

Fergus is Medb's side chick. In TBC, Fergus is sleeping with Medb, queen of Connacht. Ailill, Medb's husband, is aware of this, but doesn't interfere, saying that Medb is just doing it to keep Fergus loyal.

Chapter 26

Ferdia is jealous of Cú Chulainn's talent and believes he'll always come second. This detail, which recurs a few times in the fic, comes from FCC: Ferdia makes some exclamation about how none of Scáthach's pupils will ever win glory if they're competing with Cú Chulainn, because he'll always be the best.

Aoife. Aoife (medieval spelling Aífe) is another warrior woman who is referenced in TE (I think?) and Aided Óenfhir Aífe. She is sometimes portrayed as Scáthach's sister as well as her rival. Cú Chulainn fights her on Scáthach's behalf, wins by tricking her, and ends up fathering her son, Connla, whom he later kills. I avoided that whole part of the story for obvious reasons but the fact that head of the showcase board is called Aoife is a reference to this sister/rival relationship with Scáthach. I don't imagine her as Scáthach's sister here, but you can if you want, it doesn't change anything.

Chapter 27

Láeg fetches groceries. Another task that wouldn't be outside his remit as charioteer, though would probably involve more hunting and fewer trips to Tesco in a medieval text.

Ferdia has a brother. Ferdia's brother, Fer Det, is mentioned briefly in TBC and I think also shows up in FCC, or maybe TE? Certainly there's some mention of him somewhere else, but without the texts to hand, I couldn't tell you. We know nothing about him other than his name and I don't remember ever seeing them interact, hence, they're not close.

Chapter 28

Fergus's love life. As mentioned, Fergus is sleeping with Medb in TBC and Ailill doesn't seem to care; who's to say they weren't all fucking? In other texts, Ailill is considerably Less Chill about this arrangement, hence the idea that the threesome fun won't last, but right now, it's going okay.

Ferdia's connection to Medb. Ferdia is from Connacht, so Medb in TBC is his queen and he owes her his loyalty -- hence how he ends up opposing Cú Chulainn. There may be a more direct family connection between them too, but here they're just flatmates (i.e. live in the same place, i.e. from the same province).

Finnabair and Medb. In TBC, Finnabair is Medb's daughter. Honestly, Medb's kind of a shit mum, and generally uses her daughter only as a bargaining piece, offering her to every warrior to try and make them fight Cú Chulainn. At one point, Finnabair dies, and then she shows up later in the text as if nothing happened. There is definitely a similar continuity error with her presence in this fic as I think she's referred to as a fresher here but in one of the spin-off fics, it's implied that she was there the previous year. This feels appropriate. She is not here related to Medb, at least not as closely.

Chapter 29

Cú Chulainn's grandfather is a poet / cryptic pain in the arse. Cú Chulainn's grandfather via Dechtire is Cathbad, a druid. Druids are known for making deeply unclear prophecies, and indeed, extremely clear ones that everybody relevant nonetheless ignores.

Chapter 30

Cú Chulainn will not go to the flat opposite, but Láeg will. In TBC, Cú Chulainn is unable to visit the Connacht camp himself, so he sends Láeg to take messages to his allies there and find out who is going to be sent to fight him next. Láeg, as a charioteer, is able to mediate and go to the places where Cú Chulainn himself can't.

No new references in Chapter 31, so onto Chapter 32

A short, glorious career over a long, undistinguished one. In the Macgnímrada, a prophecy is made that the child who takes up arms on a particular day will win great glory, but live a short life. In one version, Cú Chulainn hears the whole prophecy and doesn't care; in the other, he only hears the first part, and when he's later told about the 'short life' caveat, he's like 'eh, seems worth the trade'. This is an echo of Achilles making the same trade and is probably a deliberate/direct Classical allusion by the authors of the Táin.

Chapter 33

Empty nest Láeg / travelling to study. Láeg isn't mentioned in the earliest version of TE, but in the later ones, he's the one who drives Cú Chulainn to his encounters with Emer. He doesn't, however, accompany Cú Chulainn across the sea to train with Scáthach, so what is he doing all this time? If they did grow up together, how does he cope with that absence?

Chapter 34

Cú Chulainn and Ferdia competing against each other. This is, of course, a reference to the Comrac Fir Diad episode of TBC, as well as to Ferdia's jealousy in FCC, which I already mentioned.

Chapter 35

Derbforgaill. This whole episode is inspired by Aided Derbforgaill, a violent story in which a pissing contest between the women of Ulster turns nasty when Derbforgaill out-pees them all and they attack and mutilate her because they think she'll steal their men. Cú Chulainn avenges her by killing the women, while her husband Lugaid (CC's foster son) dies of grief. It's a tale about outsiders, bodies, and being seen as biologically abherrant for the way you pee -- kind of prescient in the transphobic context of our present day. I omitted Lugaid from the story and made CC's solidarity-vengeance about shared identity rather than a kinship connection as it is in canon. It's a story where a trans reading would be fascinating but has yet to be done in an academic context, and I am hoping @finnlongman will do one since they said they would. On this blog we write fics, not conference papers.

Chapter 36

Cú Chulainn beats up the local camogie team as a child. In the Macgnímrada, when Cú Chulainn first comes to Emain Macha as a six-year-old or thereabouts, he joins the boy troop playing hurling. They don't want to let him play, so he beats them all up. Camogie is like hurling, but typically played by girls; this would be pre-transition Cú Chulainn.

Chapter 37

Cú Chulainn, rage, bodies, and ballet. The way Cú Chulainn describes his anger in this chapter, as being something that seems to turn him inside out, is a reference to the ríastrad. This transformation comes on him in various texts, particularly TBC. Some people have likened it to the Incredible Hulk: when he gets really angry, his body contorts, twists, turns inside out, and he rips people apart. My group chat and I think Venom is a better parallel because it's a lot more Abstract Body Horror than just Getting Big. His knees go backwards, his organs show, his eyes pop out etc.

Chapter 38

Conall is fifteen minutes late with Starbucks. Conall has a way of missing a lot of the Big Events of the Ulster Cycle, but it's BMMM/OCC where this is most obvious. He shows up only once Cú Chulainn has already died, and then avenges him.

Láeg answers messages about Cú Chulainn. As mentioned, the charioteer is often called upon to mediate and function as a go-between, and people will often ask him things about Cú Chulainn.

Chapter 39

Pointe shoes. Here, pointe is the one ballet technique / heroic feat that Cú Chulainn has which Ferdia does not have. In that regard, they're kind of fulfilling the function that the gae bolga fulfils in TBC: a weapon that will give CC the edge. However they're also a reference to the way that Cú Chulainn's ambiguous masculinity causes his opponents to underestimate him -- while they're questioning his beardlessness and his size, he's running rings around them with fighting ability. He's utilising his gender nonconformity to attain heroic/balletic prowess that others trapped in more rigid binary norms can't.

Conall the babysitter. In some texts -- either TE or FCC, I think -- Conall seems responsible for picking Cú Chulainn up from training with Scáthach and giving him a lift back to Ireland, because as mentioned, he's the traveller of the Ulster Cycle. As Cú Chulainn's avenger in BMMM/OCC he also sits in that 'protective' niche that would make him a good babysitter. Finally, he's one of Cú Chulainn'a foster brothers from infancy, very similar to Láeg -- this is referenced in TE.

Chapter 40

Red, white, black. The recurring motif of these three colours in this chapter is a reference to LmU, where Deirdre says that she could love a man with those three colours. Naoise has hair as black as a raven, skin white as snow, cheeks red as blood.

Chapter 41

Cú Chulainn doesn't run from anything. In TBC, the only time Cú Chulainn runs away from a fight is when Fergus negotiates with him to do so, so that the two don't have to fight each other. Cú Chulainn is initially reluctant as he's terrified of looking like a coward, but Fergus says he'll later run away from Cú Chulainn at a pivotal moment and turn the tide of battle. This is what ends up happening.

'When he let himself feel his emotions, people got hurt.' Another reference to the ríastrad, and what happens when Cú Chulainn is unrestrained.

Chapter 42

The Morrígan, and Cú Chulainn's rejection of her. As I mentioned in the chapter notes, there's no text in which the Morrígan and Cú Chulainn seem to have a pedagogical relationship. However, she approaches him in TBC and tries to seduce him. He turns her down -- rudely -- saying that he isn't in this for "women's arses". She promises to cause him trouble. In Táin Bó Regamna, they similarly have a challenging/antagonistic relationship. Elsewhere, however, she seems to be helping him. She interferes with his life at various points and may prophesy his death.

The Morrígan taught in a tiny church hall a little way outside Armagh. Armagh is associated with / close to Emain Macha, home of Conchobar and the Ulaid.

Cú Chulainn (and Ferdia) having to prove themselves over and over again, with the judgment as to their skills not being accepted. This is a reference to Fled Bricrenn, in which Cú Chulainn's worthiness to receive the champion's portion is repeatedly challenged by the two others competing for it, and the three are forced to take on increasingly difficult challenges to prove their worthiness. Cú Chulainn excels all three times, and is ultimately awarded the prize.

Scáthach has her sources. Scáthach seems to be a semi-Otherworldly figure, and has the gift of prophecy. Verba Scathaige is a very early text in which she prophesies some of the events of the Táin (telling us a version of the story existed much earlier than any of our surviving copies!).

Chapter 43

Láeg likes driving. Well. He's a charioteer. Not much to this one.

The Morrígan's mysterious contacts / ability to make things go viral. She's one of the Túatha Dé Danann, and a shapeshifter; she can do all sorts of things, and knows all sorts of people. She's also compared to the Furies in TBC -- with Allecto, specifically -- and inflames the passions of the fighters so that they turn on each other. She'd probably be really great at Twitter.

Morrígan's student who pulled out of the showcase. I had a vague sense like this was Lóch from TBC, who fights Cú Chulainn; the Morrígan helps him by turning into various animals and causing Cú Chulainn a lot of trouble, but CC still ultimately triumphs. I didn't really develop this thread further, but that was my thinking there.

The Morrígan's regret that Cú Chulainn walked away from her. She's pretty pissed when he rejects her in TBC, so that's the main thread there.

Chapter 44 has no new references to explain, just ballet. Chapter 45

Lug is impressed with Cú Chulainn. When Lug comes to Cú Chulainn during TBC, to heal him, he tells him he's done well to fight alone.

"I shouldn't have to be fighting this fight alone, you know? I shouldn't be the one trying to fix things by myself. I'm seventeen, for fuck's sake." TBC is the story of Cú Chulainn's single-handed defense of the Ulaid as a seventeen-year-old, and at one point he speaks a loud lament / complaint that he is being obliged to do so, because it's killing him and he's sick and tired of waiting for backup.

Insecure Cú Chulainn doesn't believe compliments. Although this may seem out of character to many readers, this is actually a direct reference to Fled Bricrenn, where Cú Chulainn refuses to believe that people are cheering for him, instead thinking they're laughing at him. It drives him to fight harder, but it's a sign that he's actually deeply insecure about his position as champion, because he doesn't think others recognise him as such. Jeremy Lowe makes some good comments about this in his article 'Kicking Over The Traces: The Instability of Cú Chulainn'. I find insecure Cú Chulainn fascinating to read and write about since most people assume he is confident.

Is Fergus related to Cú Chulainn? This is a good question. In some versions of Compert Con Culainn, Súaltaim is referred to as 'Súaltaim mac Róich'. This would make him Fergus's brother, making Fergus Cú Chulainn's uncle. However, this relationship is never emphasised in canon and their fosterage bond is more important.

Cú Chulainn's rich uncle. Via Lug and his convoluted family tree, Cú Chulainn is related to most of the Túatha Dé Danann -- you'd probably want Cath Maige Tuired or Lebor Gabala Érinn for details on that front. His rich uncle is one of them, but I couldn't decide what the funniest option was, so I left it unconfirmed.

Chapter 46

Ferdia suggests going abroad. This one's niche, but there's a suuuper late text called Eachtra na gCuradh where I believe Ferdia is part of a group travelling with Cú Chulainn on various international adventures. It doesn't have an English translation, so I haven't got very far with reading it yet. I'm pretty sure Ferdia's in it, though.

Chapter 47

Idh mac Riangabra. Láeg comes from a family of charioteers. In Fled Bricrenn, Idh mac Riangabra is Conall Cernach's charioteer. In the Stowe version of TBC, he's Ferdia's charioteer, and he and Láeg end up fighting each other in an attempt to protect their respective masters. I didn't go for either of these, but I had it so that he's encountered Conall in the past, as a reference to their connection, and the two brothers are at odds with each other, as a nod to Stowe.

Idh studies in Galway, while Láeg went north. As Ferdia's charioteer in TBC-Stowe, Idh would be connected to Connacht; Láeg, as Cú Chulainn's, would be connected to Ulster. This causes tension.

Conall's wanderlust. As mentioned, Conall is a traveller, and stories have him going as far away as Jerusalem in his various wanderings. He rarely seems to settle down in any one place.

Chapter 48

Láeg has Ulster Irish. Irish has three main dialect groupings: Ulster, Connacht, and Munster Irish. (Leinster Irish is extinct.) Láeg greets Idh by asking 'Caidé mar atá tú?', a greeting you'd only really hear in Ulster (versus 'Conas atá tú?' or 'Conas tann tú?' etc in other dialects); Idh responds by asking him if he has Ulster Irish now (not sure non-Irish speakers would have picked up on why he asked that). This is another reference to TBC-Stowe, where the pair of them are on opposite sides of the provincial divide.

Sedlang mac Riangabra. This brother also shows up in Fled Bricrenn, as Loegaire Búadach's charioteer.

Idh did geography. This would be a good subject for a charioteer, as they're expected to be able to navigate and interpret the world around them, explaining it to their masters.

Idh is a taxi driver. Again, this is obvious: he's a charioteer in canon.

Sedlang is a chauffeur. Likewise.

Chapter 49 has no new references. Chapter 50

Fighty Emer. In Fled Bricrenn, Emer is 100% down to cut a bitch to assert her supremacy as the pre-eminent wife among the Ulaid, and to support Cú Chulainn's claim to the champion's portion. In Serglige Con Culainn, she's also totally ready to fight to win back Cú Chulainn after he goes off with Fand.

Pro-riot Morrígan. The Morrígan is a war goddess and therefore would be 100% down for riots and fighting of all sorts, in most cases. She goes looking for trouble and if she doesn't find it, she creates it.

Chapter 51

Ferdia's barre work is not Scáthach's. Prior to their fight in TBC, Cú Chulainn watches Ferdia practising his feats and sees that he has moved on from those they learned together and is now improvising, coming up with new moves that he'll use to fight Cú Chulainn -- making Cú Chulainn briefly doubt whether he can beat him.

Cú Chulainn once again doesn't believe people's compliments. Back to Fled Bricrenn.

Láeg's motivational insults. In TBC, Cú Chulainn asks Láeg to insult him if it looks like he's losing a fight, so that it'll motivate him to fight harder. He does, and it works.

Láeg as the personal driver who gets Cú Chulainn out of trouble. This is basically just the charioteer's entire job description.

Láeg as his big brother. Again, we covered this -- it's always the vibe between them, but there's a version of Compert Con Culainn that makes it literal.

Chapter 52

Láeg has a close-up view of Cú Chulainn and Ferdia's duet. He and Idh (or Ferdia's unnamed charioteer in the non-Stowe versions) are watching their fight in TBC; the rest of the army is further away, like the audience here.

Cú Chulainn jumps into Ferdia's arms and Ferdia 'throws' him. This is a direct reference to their fight in TBC, where Cú Chulainn jumps onto Ferdia's shield and is thrown backwards over the ford, multiple times.

Idh's partner Áed is completely made up and not a reference to anything, but worth explaining that they are wearing a gold fáinne, which is a pin badge to indicate Irish fluency/willingness to speak Irish, hence why Láeg attempts to speak to them in Irish. Láeg assumes this means they met Idh via Gaeilgeoir circles, and is probably correct.

Chapter 53

Cú Chulainn is worried about his reputation. This is a reference to literally every text ever, because medieval Irish literature operates on a shame/honour continuum where reputation is everything. In particular, it references Fled Bricrenn and TBC, as this whole section does, but it's also just Cú Chulainn's entire character.

Ferdia is nervous. In one version of TBC, Ferdia has a sleepless night before his fight with Cú Chulainn and expresses serious nerves and reservations.

They'd pick ballet over each other. As TBC proves, some loyalties go deeper than affection.

The cash prize and the glory can only go to one. Of course, I couldn't let us get away without actually having a Comrac Fir Diad episode -- in keeping with TBC, they have to compete against each other. The Morrígan's part in egging this on is in keeping with her war goddess function in TBC, too.

Chapter 54

Cú Chulainn and Ferdia embracing. In TBC, during their fight, they kiss each night after calling off their bouts for the day -- for the first two nights, at least. Eventually the mood sours, but in the meantime, we have these sad goodbye kisses that kil me every time.

Cú Chulainn wins. Of course he does. In TBC he kills Ferdia. In Fled Bricrenn he is awarded the champion's portion. There's no other way this could have ended. (BUT they won't be separated and nobody will die, because this is a happy fic, even if it has its moments of angst.)

Chapter 55 / Epilogue

There aren't really any new references here, but I thought it was important to show Láeg having a reason to move back in with Cú Chulainn again and throw in a few callbacks to chapter 1 (the shitty toaster, for example). Cú Chulainn is 'only using him for his driving license', i.e. treating Láeg as his charioteer. Láeg is insulting him, because that's his job.

'technically i'm from Connacht'. Not the fucking time, Ferdia.

And that is, I think, everything! I might have missed some things. If there is anything I haven't explained that you thought was a reference, please feel free to ask and I will attempt to explain it. Other than that... enjoy. I hope this has been educational.

One final note is that I did all of this from memory without referring to the texts in question, so if you spot any errors (e.g. I've said something is in one text but you know it's in another), lmk. Would be VERY excited to know which of these references youse spotted and which were news, so if you've made it to the end of this almost-7,000-word post, please slide into my inbox and tell me.

FINALLY if you have not read In Loco Parentis but this post made you want to, I would be delighted if you would do that. Please leave me comments. Thanks.