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I love hearing about your OCs AAaAA
I'm curious, if you don't mind sharing, what does James think of Connor getting blown up? I remember on one of your posts you mentioned Connor and another one of your OCs blow each other up, and considering the answer to the previous ask, I really wanna know what your other OCs' opinion on it is (Specifically James though lol)?
If it's spoilers that's cool though, your OCs are just very fun to hear about!
anon you are spoiling me with these questions i have so much lore just sitting around of these guys and nowhere to put it. i’ve said it before but the best format for this story would be like a 300 chapter graphic novel but i don’t have the time/skill/patience for all that. anywho on to ur question
so yeah connor and anselm (guy with all the facial scars i draw sometimes)(he’s got a lot of his own baggage lol) end up blowing each other up. anselm is a stormtrooper and during the german offensive in 1918 he’s part of a group that storms the boy’s section of trench. while the scots are retreating, connor gets shot through the hip and can’t keep walking. james is with him but had previously been shot through the shoulder and can’t help pull him along. connor insists on staying behind so james and the others have the opportunity to escape danger but james is like hello what the fuck i’m not leaving you here??? they keep arguing about it but eventually james listens and does retreat. connor decides if he’s going to die he’s taking someone out with him - anselm eventually shows up and before he can finish him off, connor blows the both of them up with a grenade he’d kept hidden. and that’s how he goes out!
all of that being said his death is uhhhhhh a really big deal to everyone. connor was a really loud guy and his absence is really noticeable in their lives. hes also the only one of them to actually die during the war. they all have their own reactions and ways of dealing with it but james is definitely the one who takes it hardest haha
so ig peter and connor are the best place to start bc they have known each other for pretty much their entire lives- their moms are very close friends and the two of them are effectively cousins. their relationship is pretty antagonistic growing up, as peter is fundamentally unimpressed by connor’s bravado and connor just really doesn’t respect peter’s leadership (he thinks he could probably do a better job). they butt heads a lot a lot over the years. when connor dies peter is rly shaken up, he figured they would always be in each other’s lives, bickering and spending holidays together. peter’s got a big soft heart and is in disbelief for a while, as annoying as connor he’s supposed to be there. he keeps thinking he sees him out of the corner of his eye, keeps looking over his shoulder, and feels vaguely responsible for his death, since he’s the self appointed guardian of the group. though just as grief is starting to settle in, peter gets his knee thoroughly fucked up/his leg amputated and is sent home, so he has very little time to process connor’s death before he’s dealing with a major health crisis (spoiler alert once he’s home he really does not take either of these well)
for johnny the reaction is dull shock. connor was his self appointed Rival, someone who constantly challenged him and who always pushed him to be better, faster, smarter, and it’s only once he’s gone that johnny realizes how important that was. johnny is a really energetic guy and funneled a lot of that into his rivalry with connor, and without that in his life he is restless, itchy, and irritable. he doesn’t feel grief so much as a deep sense of disappointment; in all, connor’s death is just such a waste of potential. johnny honestly handles it the best, though it’s mainly by throwing himself into the situation at hand and helping james and peter, who are both much worse off than himself. once the war is over and he’s back home, he can’t help but notice how much quieter the world is without connor.
and oh poor james. since he’s physically there when connor decides to sacrifice himself, he is definitely left with a lot of grief and guilt and trauma over the whole thing. he regrets leaving the second he does and only follows through with it because it is connor’s last wish, and he feels he does owe him that. james is in shock for a long time afterwards. it feels like someone tore off a limb. it feels like there’s a part of him that is suddenly empty. it’s a wound that never really heals and one that he can never really talk about. how is he supposed to vocalize what connor meant to him? he can hardly admit to himself that there was something else there beyond friendship, it’s too precious and too delicate and it was theirs, and he couldn’t possibly share that with anyone else. james is left as kind of a shell in the aftermath, very quiet and withdrawn, and sticks very close to peter and johnny. there is just a certain weight that exists in him after connor dies, one that never really eases up and one he can never put down. connor was too important to him, and if he lets go of that sadness he feels as though he lets go of connor himself. james ends up living a long life, he eventually does get married and has children, but often still thinks of the war and what he lost
god this is so long and even then it feels abridged lol thank u again for asking heehoo
#asks#anon#oc stuff#connor somerville#johnny drummond#peter murray#james logan#if there’s one thing i am not it is a writer#so apologies for the crummy writing skills here. i am just trying to get the info out#long post feel free to ignore
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#jeff satur#lextag#hipranparakul#usernuria#tosnimeat#mjtag#userconcrete#userkit#nellsdani#tuserkinga#tusersilence#tuserhidden#user111#useraishi#becauseigtf#vishingwell#tuserashinlae#leftontheladder#zzarchive#uhm i haven’t posted jeff in so long idk who wants to be tagged so feel free to ignore !#but also look at him pls!!!#these are old btw i just never posted them 🤦🏽♀️
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BRIDGERTON SEASON 3 PROMO ↳ FULL POST
#bridgertonedit#kathonyedit#katesharmaedit#anthonybridgertonedit#kanthonyedit#bridgerton#kathony#kate sharma#anthony bridgerton#kanthony#dailybridgerton#dailykanthony#bridgertonblr#perioddramaedit#netflixedit#tvedit#thought i would to some posts with fewer gifs since the original was so long. feel free to ignore :3#this one especially though bcos they're so soft!!!!!!!
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nicole: 5!6!7!8!
#nicole#kara#by taeminnomuyeppeo#femaleidols#femaleidolsedit#femaleidol#femadolsedit#idolady#kpopggedit#kgoddesses#useroro#userisachaes#userdahyun#userdoyeons#namjoonlisa#dearestmillie#leksietag#tuserflora#forvy#awekslook#cheytermelon#i didnt know who i could tag so feel free to ignore#or check out her new single hehe!#long post
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Can't believe it has been a full year since I starting posting AvA/M fanart
so I redrew my first piece of fanart :]
#alan becker#animator vs animation#ava#avm#animation vs minecraft#avm red#I'm just gonna talk some random stuff in the tags#its going to be a bit self indulgent and cheesy from here onwards so feel free to ignore from here onwards#honestly#i didnt think i would get this far#never thought people would like my art at all#I'm glad that AvA/M was the first fandom i started posting fanart for#you guys are always so supportive and nice#and the fandom is filled with all sorts of creative and extremely skilled people#i couldn't really have asked for a better community to start posting art for#man#i cant believe that i managed to make 64 posts in a year#thats basically weekly#thank you guys for all your supportt#every small comment that you guys leave actually makes my day and makes me want to do better for you guys#gotten a bit long so yeah i guess i will close off here#so thanks for liking my art :]
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BFSS vs. MYATB
I had some Thoughts(TM) after finishing “Blooming Flowers, Silent Sorrow” and thought I’d put them out into the universe.
I’m definitely glad that I read the book and plan to start “Jinbao Marries a Wife” after the extra episodes air. That being said, this is nevertheless one of the rare occasions where I actually preferred the show to the novel. I have already rewatched the series more times than I care to admit publicly, but I don’t really see myself reading the book again unless an official English translation is released to see the approved wording and whether anything was left out of the translation I read.
For anyone who plans to read and wants to avoid spoilers, I’ll hide the rest below the cut. If you loved the book, no worries—this won’t be a negative review!
The Story
I’m extremely impressed that the story is basically the same and, in parts where it isn’t, maintains full fidelity to the original plot and characters. Like MDZS and The Untamed, there were some plot points that got shuffled around in order to suit the medium of television rather than written narrative—and only twelve episodes of television, at that—but it didn’t alter the essence of the story or even the overarching plot at all. Some events were consolidated where it made sense (ex., finding Zongzheng Yuzhan’s dahlia and escaping with Xiaoyu), and others were fragmented in a manner that allowed us more time to get to know the characters (ex., Xiaobao delivering the medicine and their intimate moment in episode three being at two different times). Even Xiaobao’s illness, which was shortened to the spring rather than the following autumn, was still written and portrayed in such a way that you really felt the passage of time and how excruciating it could be when finding the dahlias before their window passed was at the fore of everyone’s minds.
There are a few points, however, where I feel like the show was able to add something to the narrative that I found I missed when reading the book, while I didn’t encounter anything while reading that I really wished had made it into the show. To be honest, given how few episodes they had to tell this story and how important pacing was as a result, that really surprised me. Here are some things that come to mind:
Toning down the non-con elements. While the show depicts those moments as almost more of a non-con initiation transforming into something more tacitly consensual as it progressed (or dubious consent due to drinking or drugging), the book really stuck to the non-con focus of their interactions. I was surprised how long it remained that way, as well as how much more Huai’en pushed it by trying to initiate things after the betrayal and poisoning. I know a lot of that is due to the medium—in a show of this nature, I’d have been more surprised if they’d kept it the same. It’s just something I preferred about how it was depicted in the show and felt made the romance a little more believable as it evolved so quickly.
More conversations between Xiaobao and Huai’en. As with the last point, it made the budding romance more believable for me, not to mention adding that extra bit of heartbreak when Huai’en betrayed Xiaobao. In the book, he doesn’t mention anything about his family history or his father after Jin Bao’s asthma crisis; much of what Xiaobao learns about Huai’en doesn’t come up until the latter is already gone. Sharing the truths (or what Huai’en thought were the truths) of his past added to the half-truths of what he’s doing in Jiangnan created a much deeper sense of manipulation for me and added to the weight of both what he does in episode six as well as how he still tries to keep the Jins alive in the aftermath.
The overall character growth. I’ll put more on this in the characters section, but I was left feeling a little disappointed at the end of the book in a way I wasn’t when I finished the show. It’s not that the growth was bad or missing, just that it didn’t feel as deep as the show for me. At the end of MYATB, Xiaobao is more mature and mindful of what his family needs and his own responsibilities in making that happen; in BFSS, he’s mostly acting like a young master again, gallivanting around with Huai’en and bemoaning how useless he can be. In MYATB, Huai’en grows to care about more than just Xiaobao, even though Xiaobao is still his true north; in BFSS, he’s seriously considering killing Xiaoyu out of jealousy in the last few chapters while rescuing her. In MYATB, Su Yin is angry at the situation, not with Xiaobao, and eventually comes to terms with the idea that Xiaobao has matured and can be trusted to make his own choices; in BFSS, we don’t really see the closure to that disagreement, which was one of my favorite scenes in the finale. Again, nothing wrong with how the book portrayed things, but I felt there was a certain growth in these characters in the show that I’d have liked to see mirrored there.
Xue Tong’en’s ubiquitous presence. She’s startlingly absent in the book while her presence in the show seems to be the backdrop to everything. Zongzheng Yuzhan’s obsession and even madness are palpable in the show, and his strange hatred for yet attachment to Huai’en is especially moving. All of that was absent in the book except for a couple of mentions in the overall narration and Zongzheng Yuzhan’s unwillingness to relinquish Xiaoyu. I just didn’t feel it like I did while watching MYATB.
Their strange but heartwarming little found family. My jaw dropped to see Zuoying and Youying peace out during the final battle, leaving Huai’en to fend for himself, and Zhaocai have an off-screen love interest he was determined to marry before he, too, caught a case of bisexuality. (His sentiment, not mine.) No tearful farewells after a year of huddling together for survival? No beautiful little scene of Huai’en’s two shadows keeping him alive until help arrived? No Zhaocai-Xiaoyu tag-teaming to interrupt Xiaobao and Huai’en at every turn? Don’t get me wrong—the two of them going off on their romantic road-tripping was satisfying, but… Well, as someone who sees platonic and romantic relationships as equally important, I was a little sad to see that it’s just…them.
First, the raid; next, the cure. Having Xiaobao’s remedy come last made Huai’en’s journey feel like there were higher stakes for me. In the book, it’s like tying up a loose end—“bring back Xiaoyu, and I’ll fully forgive you.” In the show, Huai’en gets to see what’s at stake and can make the conscious decision to inconvenience and further endanger himself by taking Xiaoyu away. He knows Xiaobao still loves him and has to just sit there helplessly while he continues to go through episodes that leave him unconscious for hours or days; he has to leave without saying goodbye, with no prompting from Xiaobao to bring Xiaoyu back or ultimatums on his forgiveness. And if he failed? In the show, that’s it for Xiaobao; in the book, it’s just whether his sister comes home, which Huai’en isn’t as bothered about even if he’s willing to die for it. For me, it read as a little more…transactional in the novel, so it wasn’t quite as emotionally stirring. Plus, waiting until later to heal Xiaobao meant Su Yin and Huai’en had to work together after everything that happened between them, which may have gone a long way towards that reconciliation I mentioned.
Li Gongxiang. …That’s it. ‘Nuff said.
All the little things that made the characters more real. Obviously, visual mediums are going to fill in personalities in ways that written narratives can’t, but MYATB did so in such a way that I deeply missed those details when they weren’t there. Zhaocai and Jinbao’s odd sleeping arrangements. Xiaobao and the dancer…and the guy in the restaurant… Shaoyu coming back to stake his claim only to get out-bratted by Xiaobao. Youying royally screwing up and putting the Jins on alert, necessitating an in-universe convoluted plot to make it seem like a random jianghu misunderstanding. None of it was necessary, no, but it was fun and made me care more about the characters as I watched. The only moment like this in the book that really stood out to me was Su Yin tickling Xiaobao into submission, which was honestly amazing. In any case, adding depth to the supporting characters that wasn’t there in the book added more to the main characters as well, so I missed those small details as I read.
The Characters
I know it seems like I covered that already, but there were a couple of specifics that really stood out to me regarding character choices and personalities in the book compared to the show. As with the story, there wasn’t much I felt hadn’t been incorporated from the book, while there were elements from the show that I did miss seeing as I read. Overall, I thought the show did a fantastic job of taking who the characters were on a fundamental level in the book and enhancing them with certain narrative choices.
Huai’en: I am unspeakably grateful for whoever decided to age him up to 20. It facilitated the conversations he had with Xiaobao that deepened their relationship and made the romance more believable. With that added maturity, his cold manipulation makes a lot of sense for his character rather than the angry and violent outbursts that the teenage Huai’en in the book was prone to. Even in MYATB, Huai’en experienced a few of those, but they only came at pivotal moments and, as a result, had more meaning to me. (Note: not morally right, but still meaningful.) On another note, I was mourning the loss of his scene with the emperor as I read. The majority was still there, namely the blood test, dahlia, and refusing his title. However, exonerating the Jins was a huge moment that contributed to his reconciliation with Xiaobao and their ability to live happily later. For me, it was more moving to see him take that initiative in the show rather than have it offered to him as an incentive for providing information that could free Prince Shen later in the book.
Xiaobao: …It’s the word “lecherous.” I just can’t get past it! In the show, we’re made aware that he’s frequented brothels in the past, and no further details are given. His attempts to woo “Miss Zheng” are slightly sleazy, but they hardly count as “lecherous,” which I really liked. It’s more of a wide-eyed “she could kick my ass in any context and I’d thank her for it” situation than…well, “lecherous.” (Nope, still can’t get past it even when I use it.) With an aged-up Huai’en, I think that having Xiaobao be more of an adorable wannabe player matched a bit better. He was still that way in the book, but the sexual element was a lot more prevalent (namely trying to switch positions), while MYATB moved him past that very quickly.
Su Yin: As I mentioned above, I really mourned the loss of their closure. In the show, we see a Su Yin who goes through hell trying to avenge Xiaobao only to learn that he needs to take a step back and trust that Xiaobao can take care of himself. He isn’t that same spoiled young master who needs Su Yin to constantly come to his rescue anymore by the end, and Su Yin has seen Huai’en’s sincerity even if he will never be able to forgive Huai’en’s indiscretions himself. Su Yin is very similar in much of the book, but I felt that their roads diverged some after Xiaobao went to warn Huai’en about the trap at Chifeng Cliff. In BFSS, we never really see him get over that, and his anger is truly at Xiaobao—he even insults him multiple times. MYATB shows it as concern with Xiaobao’s self-esteem and seeming willingness to degrade himself, shortly followed by understanding and acceptance, however hesitant. I loved that growth for both Su Yin and their relationship, so I was quite disappointed that it wasn’t the same in the book.
Que Siming: This was a case where expectations didn’t meet reality. I’d heard from people who read the book how he was the only one rooting for Huai’en and Xiaobao, but…that wasn’t entirely the vibe I got. It was still there, as it was in the show, but perhaps it was his personality that made it a bit difficult to see. In the show, Que Siming is eccentric, self-serving, and arrogant. However, there are moments when he displays genuine emotion towards Xiaobao’s suffering and Huai’en’s fate that show he really does care, even if his taste for gossip outweighs most other things a lot of the time. In the book, he was mostly just mean. The self-serving arrogance was there, but I didn’t really see much else. It could have been lost in translation, and I’m sure I’ll have a better grasp of him after “Jinbao Marries a Wife,” but on the whole I was left feeling like he was one of the only characters who was extremely different and far more likable in the show. Props to Kou Weilong!
Xiaoyu: She is one of the other characters who felt extremely different between the two mediums, and I vastly prefer the show’s version. In the book, Xiaoyu almost didn’t even seem like a kid of only about ten. Her dialogue read like a young woman, and I have to agree with the book version of Huai’en that her feelings about Xiaobao were…uh…wow. I definitely preferred Su Yin alluding to a marriage as merely a parting shot at Huai’en. Of course, the context is important: in the book, the Jins already decided Xiaoyu would run the family business, and she was also aware of what had happened to the Xues and that she wasn’t actually a Jin. In those circumstances, it makes sense that she would have been groomed to consider this eventuality without much thought given to their brother-sister relationship beyond just always being together. Still, uh…very glad they didn’t go that route. It also meant she could be more of a child in MYATB and wage a war for Xiaobao’s attention against Huai’en without that loaded underlying meaning.
Zongzheng Yuzhan: In MYATB, he seems to have gotten an upgrade. Even more than just being an oftentimes off-screen, absentee antagonist, he was a character foil for Huai’en. We are meant to see that Huai’en’s understanding of love is twisted, as Li Gongxiang said, because his only example is his foster father’s obsessive and possessive form of love. What makes Zongzheng Yuzhan monstrous is that he can’t change. What makes Huai’en human is that he can. He could have been a monster—a beast, as Xiaobao calls him in the book multiple times—but he takes a different road. That road leads to direct conflict with Zongzheng Yuzhan and emphasizes their differences in a dramatic and captivating way. In the book, that conflict really isn’t there. Zongzheng Yuzhan very easily lets go of Huai’en being Zongzheng Yunlian’s son and urges him to be free until he comes back for Xiaoyu. Perhaps that’s the Zongzheng Yuzhan we’d have seen if Huai’en had visited him in prison, but that steady escalation of their differences until it reached a boiling point made the stakes in the second half of the show that much more impactful for me.
In all, I enjoyed BFSS. It was worth reading and did add a lot of insight into certain scenes that couldn’t possibly include dialogue, especially Xiaobao’s thoughts during poison episodes and his quieter moments as Huai’en insisted on proving what a joke Su Yin’s security was to him. (I’m imagining Su Yin with a clown nose and wig asking, “Am I a joke to you?” Yes. Yes, you are. But I love you anyway.)
Perhaps I’d feel a little differently if I’d read the book before watching the show. Having gone the opposite direction, though, I’m left astounded at how well MYATB took a book with over a hundred chapters, adapted it for the screen, enhanced both the plot and characters, and told the story in twelve episodes with time to spare for an extra fluffy epilogue. There was a lot of love put into the show, and while I did enjoy the book, that may have made all the difference for me.
#blooming flowers silent sorrow#meet you at the blossom#myatb#myatb meta#long post#just my opinions feel free to ignore them but please don’t take offense to them#I really did like the book
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#max verstappen#autumn posts#posting on the sideblog because this is such self indulgent content for moi#feel free to ignore going to thirst in the tags real quick#but oh my GOSHH#AHH#his hair is so long in the back rn#and his HIPS and SHOULDERS will be the death of me#the way his hand grips the edge and his shoulders flexing as he looks down#😵💫😵💫😵💫#anyways I usually don't post these hella swooning gifs but!! maybe I should share them#just easier for me to stare at his butt on loop 🙂↕️
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SquidgeWorld refusing to even talk about Palestine and other genocides happening because "this a fandom space" is wild and severely disappointing
#squidgeworld#// rant#'death threats' are not an excuse to stay silent!!!!#yeah they're not cool but you made it clear you wouldn't say anything either#stop allowing to look away by giving them a space where they can#what about palestinians or sudanis or congolese folk who are being genocided-#-who want the privilege to read fics on your site?? they don't matter??#'you wouldn't ask google 'what's your stance on x' you are not google!!! you are *one* person!!!!#'fandom spaces are sacred' sacred enough to turn a blind eye to genocide?? the fuck???#fuck your 'escapism' you are encouraging people to look away#that's not escapism that's ignoring the world in favor of your happiness#the LEAST you COULD'VE done was making a post saying you want a free palestine/sudan/dr congo/etc. or express SOME form of solidarity#'yes the world is unjust' then speak up bitch!!!!#so ao3 are zionists and squidgeworld is refusing say anything#maybe it's better for nobody to use your site 🤷🏾♀️#if you can't even stand in solidarity with people of color then you don't actually care about fandom#because the people being genocided that you don't care about are the same people in these 'fandom spaces' you claim to care about!!#honestly feel like a damn fool for even suggesting people migrate there from ao3#people who look away are not allies. they're cowards who don't want to lose support for being on the right side of history#anyways free palestine/sudan/dr congo/haiti/hawaii/tigray and other countries and nations experiencing genocide!!!#by refusing to speak up you have chosen the side of the oppressor.#long post
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You know what? I’ll just go ahead and outline my thoughts on why I think getting called “her father’s daughter” could be a potentially devastating insult for someone—likely an enemy—to call Earth.
Again: This is not me saying I think any of this is necessarily true of her character, just that recent events and how certain actions she’s been taking lately could be seen, especially from an outsider’s or enemy’s perspective (at least—her actions given what I’ve gleaned from summaries and what others have said about what’s been going down).
The Creator takes a forcible approach to changing things to fit the worldview he desires. And when people no longer fit that worldview? When the façade cracks and people refuse to play along with his vision? He disavows them. Throws them away.
And… what did Earth do to Nexus? Before they even directly attacked her, and it was completely reasonable of her to feel the need to step back a bit since her actual life was now in danger?
She disavowed them. She threw them away.
Nexus was too caught up in their grief and their very real problems, was no longer being the doting older sibling, said a few mean things about her not being a real therapist—which she’d already said early on that she didn’t even want for that to be her role in the family, before going back on that for some reason later on—and was no longer playing the role she wanted and was used to. Nexus was no longer in a stable headspace to clean up everyone’s messes, and was, apparently, supposed to be “more mature” than Lunar when it came to dealing with trauma and people who hurt them, their family, and trillions of uninvolved innocents—even though Nexus has never had their very real traumas addressed or given aid for or had the chance to heal the way the rest of their siblings have—so when they finally, inevitably broke under the grief and pressure?
Earth didn’t like that, and went by the Creator’s example of dropping the façade of care and throwing them away. And then immediately switching her attention over to something supposedly "better" in the current iteration of Moon.
…Though, at least she was different in that, at one time, she did care about Nexus, while the Creator never cared about her. But that also just might make the pain worse. Because it is one thing to learn that you were never loved at all, and the whole thing was just a lie or a mask someone was using to get what they wanted. To learn that you were always just a tool, or a means to an end.
It is another thing entirely to learn that the love existed, but was shallow and conditional and depended on you lying and putting on a pleasant mask that hid your pain. A mask that only you needed to wear—because your position has always been the scapegoat, and everyone else was already good enough/fulfilled enough in their assigned roles to never even ponder stepping out of them to see if they would be happier doing something different/their assigned roles included messing up and making mistakes or acting "childish" or "spoiled" as a matter of course.
And, on the note of assigned roles…honestly, as others have said, Nexus never should have been considered the older brother to begin with—to any of their siblings—since they were younger than her. And younger than Lunar, by certain metrics, since even though Lunar technically was “reborn,” they didn’t have to contend with any memory gaps and just picked right back up where they left off. To the point that it could be argued they didn’t even “die” so much as just get put in a coma for a long time, especially with how nanomachines were and are implied to work in the TSAMS universe.
…Anyways��
This ended up a bit harsher toward Earth than I’d intended (probably because I decided to stay up and write this after I should have been in bed and asleep), and is probably meaner toward her character than she actually deserves… But, as I said, this is an exploration of why calling Earth "her father's daughter" would be the sort of insult an enemy would sling at her. One of the ones who like to pick at sore spots, use psychological torment, and twist things like memories and actions around to make them appear more sinister than they were in reality.
Do I think Earth reacted badly, and should have handled the situation better? Especially since she had tried to put herself in the role of a therapist? Absolutely I do. Do I think there was any sort of “evil machinations” or deeper meaning behind her actions on par with why the Creator tried to uphold that genial façade for so long? Absolutely not.
I genuinely think she was just overreacting/mishandled the situation/lashed out in her own sense of anger and sadness, and is now just doubling down with how crazy things have still been for her family lately. Especially now that there is a “new” Moon to deal with and Nexus is both out of sight and out of mind... as well as possibly genuinely out of her reach, both physically and emotionally. And she also might not want to reconcile given the whole “they almost killed me” thing. Which… yeah, after that point it is fair that she would be upset and angry and want some physical distance, and I wouldn't blame her for not forgiving Nexus for that specific thing.
It would have been fair for her to want some physical distance after their earlier harsh words, too… it’s just that isn’t what she said she was doing. Had she said/expressed by her actions something to the tune of “I need to take a step back from this for my own mental health so I can have some space to process,” it would have been fine. But she didn’t. She and Lunar immediately jumped to what was essentially disownment, and then didn’t clarify in the next lore video that those were just the harsh words they were saying in the heat of the moment and that what they really meant was they were upset and needed their own mental health breaks/weren't equipped to deal with the severity of the situation.
…Honestly, though, with Lunar it hurts… not exactly less, but at least in a different way when it comes to how they handled things, because they’d always been combative toward Nexus. The only time I remember them genuinely expressing concern or love for them as a sibling was after the daycare got exploded thanks to Ruin during the second October takeover--and that wasn't even expressed directly to Nexus--and then when Nexus and Sun found their way back. Yes, they did run immediately for a hug from Nexus after being rebuilt and getting rescued by Puppet… but then they immediately admitted it was because they’d briefly forgotten that Nexus was “New Moon,” not the original one.
So while their reaction to this entire situation was and is still massively disappointing, I can’t really say it was too out of character for them. At least not the same way it was coming from Earth.
…Hope this made at least some sort of sense.
#tsams#sun and moon show#tsams discourse#tsams meta#not exactly tsams earth friendly#long post#venting#procrastination at its finest#in the sense that i should be sleeping right now#rather than writing lengthy diatribes like this#might edit this later#or not#probably not#feel free to ignore this
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This election is stressing me tf out more than I thought it would and dammit, I wish my computer wasn’t absolute dog bc the way I’d love to do a stream so we could all just ignore it for a bit and have fun.
I still wanna do something though…I’m gonna dig through some drawing memes/challenges to do requests like the good ol’ days
#peachy post#I haven’t had stress chest pains in so long#and boy how am I having a hard time breathing#so I’m going to ignore it for my own health#please feel free to join me#if you have an idea for an ‘event’ to do let me know!
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ok fellas this post is really different from my other stuff so i'm putting it under the cut for people who don't care and also because i'm slightly embarrassed
ok so. is it unusual for a girl to want to have a deep voice and a flat chest and a more square face and also feel slightly jealous of men and want to sound like them and look like them
and also is it unusual to want to be all that, but also simultaneously not be very bothered very much by how you look right now or by being referred to with she/her except for sometimes when you think about it too much. because i usually don't think about it except for sometimes where i suddenly just get really sad about being a girl or i'll always have this faint feeling that i am just unhappy about it
and also is it unusual to try to ignore it and go about your life being unbothered by it even though deep down it does kinda bother you but you can't really. like. say anything to anyone because your family won't react well and neither will your friends because they'll think it's weird and uncomfortable. i feel afraid to ever feel this way because i know the people in my life won't react well to it
so like. genuine question please lmk wtf is goin on because i'm unsure if it's normal and i've felt like this for a long time and it's confusing me and i don't even know what i'm going to do with the information once i know i'm just sort of lost LMAO
#vent#ig???????????#it's not even funny (it's a little funny) how the only reason i've like. thought about this was because i am becoming#more and more jealous of actors in the musicals i watch#greaseball when i get you. when i get you#like i know it IS possible play as male characters in musicals or something as a girl if i ever wanted to#but the thing is i want to look like them and sound like them and i want to be masculine#this is me questioning my gender on my fucking cats the musical tumblr blog everybody point and laugh#might delete later depending on how embarrassed i get ARGH#I FEEL SHEEPISH#had this in my drafts for a long time but i'm caving in and posting it because i had a bad night last night thinking abt it#and i need to know. also i'm lying in bed having to get up and i don't wanna so i'm making excuses#anyway again. i'm embarrassed feel free to ignore this is so stupid#ok. being brave about this#i don't like being negative on here. idk if it's negative but it might come off that way and i don't want to be awkward#also idk how sharing it here will help. but i don't really know what else to go to#if nobody got me i know tumblr got me can i get an amen#keep adding tags to this like it's going to change anything. post the damn thing idiot#why am i adding so many tags like i'm hyping myself up in the mirror JUST POST IT
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i saw a post earlier that q!tubbo is the only "moral" character even after purgatory and it's kinda kept me awake, not because i don't agree with the sentiment (i do) but because the idea of morality as intrinsically important in fandom / character analysis is fascinating to me, *especially* when we're talking about the morality of someone who's basically just spent two weeks in some eye guy's budget hunger games.
first off, while i fully agree that by the end of this q!tubbo *is* a character that tried at every turn to be kind and generous even to his own detriment, how does that make him more or less "moral" than q!phil or q!fit? he still killed, the same as them. he still strategized to beat his friends, has blood on his hands — why is he marked above x, y, or z in the moral scale?
well, one could argue that he did what he did for his team, for the eggs, and because he was forced to when he was put in the game in the first place, yeah? it's not his fault he's in this position, and he's doing his best to survive it. i personally think that's totally valid and justifiable, but it leaves a huge elephant in the room.
what about everyone else?
i'm going to use q!bad as an example because he's my main pov, and before i go into this analysis i want it known i'm very much playing the devil's advocate and illustrating a point — i am not saying his actions are "good". good? good.
okay. so, q!bad. here we have a non-human father who was told by his missing child to win regardless of the cost, or whomever he had to run over. he had to win. is it immoral then for him to take that to heart and play the game the way it was presented? is it immoral for him to kill for his child, or to be determined to win even in detriment of others? to want to use the same strategies in the battlefield that everyone else would, even if they're not kind or polite?
i don't fucking know, because morality isn't linear — this situation *isn't* linear bc if people will go on the record saying they would kill for their child and are praised for it, what makes q!bad's actions in the universe he's existing in any different?
you can even say that by some perspectives, q!tubbo extending so much kindness to his competitors over and over again was at times (or could've been) detrimental to his team ergo their childrens' lives and yet he still did it. is it more moral to save children or be nice to someone else?
my point being, i feel that the morality argument while very very interesting is kind of irrelevant bc when push comes to shove, characters aren't compelling bc they have more or less morals — i genuinely think a lot of media / character consumption has *actively* been harmed by everyone's need to have the thing they enjoy be "good" or "moral" or "right" bc if it isn't, what does that say about us?
the answer to that one is: absolutely nothing, but man do i think sometimes people in fandom feel guilty if they like or prefer an immoral or grey character vs a "stereotypical" moral one.
anyway, all this to say that i think by the end of purgatory, q!tubbo is the character that was most true to himself and his values from start to finish, and it's been a great watch. is he the most morally correct? eh. who the fuck knows.
#qsmp#long post#q!tubbo#q!bad#idk man morality in fandom is the most interesting thing to me#and this is coming from someone who has consistently been against the moral glorification of characters in media ESPECIALLY in survival#situations#now this is literally just a thought experiment on my end feel free to ignore#i am criticizing no one i'm just on my soapbox
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Hi everyone! I just wanted to share my coloring/giffing process for stages because I love making performance sets and I know that giffing kpop stages is a daunting task, not just for new gifmakers, but also more experienced ones. This is in no way saying my way is the best or right way to color, but I hope this will somehow help alleviate some challenges for anyone who is afraid or hesitant to gif stages.
Disclaimer: I am not a professional and although this blog is relatively new, I’ve been giffing for a little bit over 3 years with a lot to learn still. This tutorial is focused on K-Pop stages and doesn’t necessarily apply to other types of gifs. Also, I try my best to explain why I do things the way I do here so this is going to be long (image and word heavy).
With that in mind, let’s get started! I’ll be using our precious Jeonghan in Seventeen’s Super performances for this tutorial :D
BEFORE WE BEGIN
This tutorial is mostly focused on coloring; however, I believe the quality of your video file, sharpening, and timing also factors a lot into whether your gif looks good or not. For reference, I use VapourSynth and Photoshop 2020 cc for making gifs. Vps is not necessary to make good gifs but it does help make my process easier and quicker.
Files: For performance gifs, I only use .ts files because that ensures all of them come out in the highest quality possible. Please refer to this post for more information and where to get them (thank you op <3).
Sharpening: I use Vps for sharpening, denoising, and deinterlacing .ts files. I tend to keep my KNLM settings between 1.2 to 2, depending on how noisy the original video is, and FineSharp between 0.3 to 0.5. Any additional denoising/sharpening is done in PS.
Timing: Because I deinterlace with qtgmc 60 slow, the resulting video import will be 0.2 for the frame delay. Gifs that are too fast or too slow will compromise the quality of your gif. For stages, I like to use 0.3 as the final frame delay for 60 fps files and 0.4 for 30 fps.
Exporting: My export settings are Adaptive Diffusion since I find that to look the best.
BASE LAYER
As you can see even without coloring and just based on the file, sharpening, and timing, I already have a nice gif to work with. I like to start by correcting the original lighting and colors so that I have a nice canvas for coloring. I do this with a levels layer and use the eyedropper tools to designate what I want to be white (bottom eyedropper) and black (top eyedropper). Here, I zoomed in on the highlight of his mic for white and chose the darker area of his mic for black. I also adjust the brightness a little.
The gif is now much more vibrant and less faded. I think the lighting here looks okay but, sometimes, a curves layer is needed to even out the lighting. Below, I am trying to lower the saturation of the red as well as make his skin even (aka not shiny) so that I can color later.
Just an FYI: The curves layer also has the same eyedropper tools found in the levels layer so you can skip the levels step if you prefer to use the curves layer only. I find that using the eyedroppers to designate what is truly white and what is truly black helps significantly in correcting lighting. For example, if your gif’s covered in a purple color and your darkest pixel is a dark purple, when you pick that pixel to be black, PS will correct your gif’s color table and get rid of the purple. The same happens when you designate the brightest pixel to be white.
Here is an example. Notice in that in the first gif, it looks faded and is filled with a purple filter and lighting. A single levels adjustment layer using the eyedropper tools to designate a true white (the highlight of his hairpin) and black (his hair) color removed the filter and made the colors of the gif more vivid and saturated.
COLOR LOOKUP/GRADIENT MAP
Next is my favorite layer, the color lookup. This adjustment layer takes your gif’s color table and matches to a selection of presets. I generally use this at a lowered opacity to even out or add color to an idol’s skin while also darkening the background. If your PS doesn’t have this option, I find that gradient maps set to the right colors and opacity have the same effect. Here are two examples of the different color lookup layers I used at different fills.
The Fall Colors adjustment gave his skin some life and warmth while the Crisp Warm adjustment darkened and gave the gif more saturation.
CORRECTING BLUE VS. RED BACKGROUNDS
Generally, Kpop stages have backgrounds consisting of cool (blue, purple, green) and warm (yellow, orange, red) colors. I personally prefer a cooler background because it is much easier to manipulate and will not affect the skin tone of the idols (unless there is blue lighting on their skin). Warm colored backgrounds are harder to manipulate because you run the risk of messing with their skin.
Gifs that have too many colors end up looking pixelated so my goal when fixing backgrounds is to turn cyans/greens/purple into blue and manipulate the blue using the hue/saturation and selective color layers. As for warm colored backgrounds, I darken and desaturate as much as I can without affecting the skin. Any sort of magenta can also be treated in the same way.
I like to make my backgrounds into gray/black or at least very desaturated so that the idol can shine and be the main focus of the gif. Having less colors will help improve the quality of the gif so don’t be afraid to play with the hue/saturation sliders. Here are just a few examples of the adjustment layers that I used for the gifs above.
That will usually work if the lighting doesn’t change. If the lighting changes, then you might want to change your approach. For the following gif, there is a flashing light that fills the entire gif with blue light, including his face. In this case, I can’t darken the blues because it will end up giving him a weird gray color when it flashes. Instead, I go the opposite direction and lighten the blue using the hue/saturation layer.
Make sure to pay attention to every frame to see how the hue/saturation layers affect the rest of the gif. Here are the adjustment layers for this gif.
COLORING SKIN
Correcting backgrounds will always end up affecting the color of the idol’s skin so it’s best to minimize the effects as much as you can so that you have an easier time coloring. The layers that I use to color skin are color balance, selective color, and hue/saturation.
I start with color balance, adding in a mixture of yellow, red, and magenta to the midtones. To counteract the warmth, I add cyan and blue to the shadows; I rarely mess with the highlights unless necessary. I use selective color to darken reds and yellows with black. If the yellows/red are too pink, I darken with cyan. If the yellows/reds are too yellow, I darken with magenta and lessen the yellow. If the yellows/reds are too cool, I darken with magenta and yellow.
Above, you can see that he’s kind of pale without any added layers. The color balance layer added warmth in yellows and reds and the selective layer added some depth to the shadows. These were all minor adjustments but they had a great impact on how the gif ended up looking.
For this gif, I noticed that he was just a bit too pale after the color balance and selective color layers so I added a channel mixer layer to add a tiny bit of pink into his skin.
Here is another example. There are a lot of other skin coloring tutorials out there that do a better job of explaining the do’s and don’ts than I can but as a good rule of thumb, try not to make their skin too yellow or pink and you’re good! :D Refer to this tutorial for more information.
FINISHING TOUCHES
The remaining adjustment layers I use are exposure, brightness/contrast, and vibrance. Everyone has a different preference for these layers and that’s what makes creators’ gifs unique from one another. So, adjust these layers as you’d like! For me, I like increase the exposure and balance it with a decreased offset and gamma correction with the exposure layer. I also like to decrease contrast in the brightness/contrast layer and increase both saturation and vibrance.
It’s best to find a good balance between brightness, exposure, and contrast. If you increase exposure, make sure it’s balanced by something else so that your idol won’t end up looking too white. Gifs that are too bright will end up looking pixelated and grainy. If the noise in your gifs is not an artistic choice, then making sure everything is balanced will help reduce noise and make your gifs look crisp and smooth.
Giffing stages is hard, but it’ll get easier with practice and time/dedication. It takes me a total of 2 to 3.5 hours to make 2x2 performance set from start to finish and 2 days for a 9 pc set like Fear, not to mention that I had to recolor the first Super stage 3 different times. I’ve also had my fair share of bad looking sets. Stages are difficult but they’re doable! If you have any questions, feel free to send me an ask.
Here is the link to the psds I used to make these gifs. Happy giffing~!
#ps tutorial#gif tutorial#coloring tutorial#mymine#flashing tw#eyestrain tw#long post#tagging some mutuals just in case you wanna see it#feel free to ignore <3#isaishi#hanatonin#tuserose#tusersali#userzaynab#userhev#sonafied#emification#shuaria#resources
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teach me your ways on how to color whitewash idols. it’s so pretty
hiii omg thank u !! i will say i make new coloring for every set + recommend that so ur coloring is unique to the lighting, idol, etc.! i only mask over the original at the end of coloring (otherwise it can trick your eye into thinking something is off), and i ask people for help making sure i didn't oversaturate sometimes. i'll color a yeri set from the same file as those irene gifs earlier to show my process :)
sharpen! my sharpening whitens highlights most times, so i try to color over it so i know it won't become overexposed when i go to export. base gif (sharpened in vs) versus sharpened fully.
2. gauge how pale they are compared to naturally light photos w/ minimal to no editing / general 'what is too pale'. she isn't very pale here so not too much needs changing.
first adjustment layer: levels, set the blacks using the eyedropper. helps with contrast and overall look.
second: curves, adding back highlights and depth (especially around nose and cheekbones, which tend to get removed when it is washed out).
exposure! make sure to adjust gamma as well, don't go too far. this is the no. 1 cause of overly white gifs with otherwise nice coloring.
next is brightness and contrast, which same rule of thumb as exposure. don't over-do it.
hue/sat: fix yellow or red leaning skin, and then i add saturation and darken skin channels to add life and warmth without making it too overdone (if you just saturate, it can look cartoonish imo)
selective color (#1): adjust reds, yellows, blacks, and whites. sometimes change neutrals (add magenta and yellow while lightening them overall) on very stubborn originals.
selective color (#2): fine-tune previous adjustments to look natural. ADD WHITE BACK TO HIGHLIGHTS! this helps with the glowiness
it can be done at this point, but i did one more fine-tuning hue/saturation (when i adjust other colors like blues to be the shade i want too). this is also when i use color balance or a second brightness/contrast to get my end result where i want!
base (sharpened in vs) vs. the final :D
i also like to color with the previous / done gif next to the new one to make sure they match :) like so - i copy and paste the coloring group and then adjust it (and sharpening!) as needed for cohesion
the psd for yeri, and the irene set from earlier if you'd like to mess with them. irene's is more extreme as the lighting was worse.
#feel free to ignore tag friends <3#. . . letters#from : anon#m:tutorial#m:coloring#niniblr#useroro#awekslook#userdoyeons#userlovevivi#rosieblr#oorieri#userchoi#useryeonbins#long post#resources
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you know what? im feeling very appreciative of yaoi today, actually.
not to be corny, but BL was literally formative for me, as in, not only was it the only source of queer fiction available to me for a long while (before song of achilles or ari and dante or w/e, and even after, because it was translated for /free/ by these "straight" "fetishizing" "girls" lol) but also, it's how i honest to god made my first gay friend. she was showing me her anime sketches on a school trip, and out of nowhere asked me "do you like yaoi?" (idk where you are now zanne but hope you're doing well 🙏🏽)
so, i guess that's why i'm a bit over-sensitive when people came into BL FANDOMS, thinking they're """""above""""" yaoi. like, i know the genre does have its issues, and i know people should write what they like. but EVERY DAY against my will i keep getting exposed to takes and they're honestly the reason i stopped reading non-canon dynamics for mxtx (even though i used to enjoy everything!!! rip 😭)
takes like (and i quote) "they're NORMAL human beings so of course they switch" "they both top and bottom that's love baby" "mxtx is so heteronormative why did she have to call wwx a wife :/" "the more you ask me to tag dynamics the harder lwj is going to bottom"
and just. to me it reads as absolute dripping condescension.
out of all the helpless and meek yaoi bottoms to take issue with they decide to pick on MXTX??? mxtx whose FIRST BOOK is an artful take down of genre conventions? mxtx who actually subverted the tropes herself by writing hyper-competent and badass MCs who are also bottoms, and GNC MLs who are tops? but no wwx and xl are powerful so they /have/ to top, and lbh experiences emotions so of course he's a bottom. wtf
to me this is similar to saying: "all yaoi authors are shit at writing women no exceptions, so yzy is obviously 100% a product of evil step-mother syndrome and not at all a well-written villain, so if you don't like reading good yzy then you're a misogynist."
#this is just same tired dynamics disk horse feel free to ignore#i lost steam multiple times writing this bc i think it belongs in my brain and ppl should write anything they want#but i really dont what more to do to avoid seeing these takes so i hope doing a word-vomit would purge this topic from my brain?#pls#ro talks#fandom wank#long post#also. the gall of that one person 'none of my previous [western] fandoms made such a big deal about it'#like bottomlockers and toplockers didn't have that whole feud
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Follow the news. The Folkwang Museum's cancelling of Anaïs Duplan's exhibition (and still profiting from his work) is not the only institution overreacting preemptively in light of the current crackdown of israel-critical voices on a slippery slope to fascism.
These developments didn't just start with Hamas' attack on Israel of Octobre 7th:
But the political landscape is using its performative solidarity with Israel to restrict fundamental rights more and more especially with the rightwing parties heating up the migration debate again and the Ampel dropping all semblance of a backbone. And they aren't nearly done - keep in mind the upcoming elections where everyone wants a piece of AfD's fascism pie as they are projected to reach majority in three states.
#and these are just the ones i know of. i'm not a journalist nor can i legitimately call myself an activist.#most posts i reblog here are ones that change or enhance my understanding. so imagine the dunkelziffer of things i'm missing.#so feel free to add. tried getting english sources for most but wasn't successful in all of them.#also couldn't find a proper article listing all the banned paroles atp besides excerpts - would love an addition if you can find one#(example: “stop genocide” “from the river to the sea we demand equality” “israel is killing children” - last demo those were all banned)#long post#german stuff#german politics#“not all germany waah waah” “what the boss says is law waah waah” “you're all so ignorant” do you believe your grandpa was innocent too#(metaphorically spoken)
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