#long live pewdiepie

[nashidakyouko]

No, I do not think that liking a problematic or even evil character means you're a bad person.

I'm not condoning the character's actions—often not even in the context of the show. And certainly, I'm not approving those actions in the real world.

But it's a story. The world won't end if someone likes a character. Sometimes they are just well-written characters (obviously not all are well-written, but that's not the point of this mini-essay). Even if they are pure evil, if that is the purpose, then good! Achieved! (i.e. Lion King's Scar, Fullmetal Alchemist's King Bradley, Buffy's Glory, Avatar's Ozai, and many more) (then some characters who are not pure evil, but treated as irredeemable or just scum, i.e. She-Ra's Catra, Princess Mononoke's Eboshi, Buffy's Faith Lehane, etc.)

I can appreciate them for what they are while still not touching them with a 39-and-a-half-foot pole if they were real.

This goes double for characters that could reasonably have redemption arcs (or who have redemption [with varying degrees of success], but for half the fans it isn't ever good enough [sometimes even for me, I admit]—because apparently bad actions make a bad, unchangeable person, forever. But that's another post).

Evil exists in every world. Only shaming it when it's convenient (such as attacking fans of a thing), does very little to help any real victims.

Instead of screaming about an evil character, consider putting that energy into helping real people, real victims, and trying to stop problems (i.e. assault, genocide, misogyny, war, official/unofficial slave labor, hate groups, etc.) in whatever little ways you can. Find a good charity and donate. Give food and money to shelters and victims. Listen to their stories. Some of them might even tell you that the fiction you are so opposed to actually helped them feel less alone. Or any number of things that might have made the story cathartic for them, making it so they like the bad guy as a bad guy. Or, hey, just ignore the people who are bugging you and enjoy whatever media you want. Put your energy there instead unless the truth isn't that you don't care about victims, and you're just virtue-signalling.

*This is not about actual victims who are being upset or triggered. The only thing I have to say there is that you can go to a different media. Be safe, but don't tell OTHER POSSIBLE VICTIMS that the way they cope is inherently bad.

**ABSOLUTELY you can dislike characters or whatever. You can entirely judge them as evil and immoral. I am not saying you have to go along with every single thing. ABSOLUTELY you should not have to engage with things that you hate or make you uncomfortable or even triggered! None of this was meant to undermine any of that. I mostly just mean that everyone has their own experience AND fiction follows different rules, usually for the sake of telling a story. You do NOT have to engage or fake being comfortable. You CAN say you have issues with something. You should say! But your experience is not EVERYONE'S experience, so everyone—on both sides of this—needs to be more mindful of that.

***writing essays about the evils of characters and even how they may reflect or affect the real world is totally a different thing than screaming endlessly about it online. No problem there.

[eyneyke]

Sam is back online!

Pairing: Max Verstappen x PewDiePie!sibling Summary: What if Felix had a genius brother who works as a RedBull's engineer and is also secretly dating Max part 34 of A Calm to my Storm Masterlist

[Felix's vlog starts]

Felix(laughing while running down the street): “Guys, Jack just told me it’s the off week for F1, which means my genius brother Sam is back in the UK! He just texted me that he’s home, so you know what time it is—I'm barging in again. Time for some chaos!”

[Camera shows Felix bursting into Sam’s flat]

Felix: “Saaaam! Where are you?”

[Camera pans to Sam half under a table, searching for something. Sam jumps, hitting his head on the table]

Sam(groaning): “Felix, I swear—one of these days, I’m going to steal my key back from you.”

Felix(laughing): “And yet, you haven’t. What are you doing under there, anyway?”

Sam(rubbing his head sarcastically): “Oh, just looking for a screw that apparently decided it didn’t want to deal with this family anymore. You know, the usual.”

Felix: “Well, I thought I’d come over since you’re finally back in the UK. You down for a stream later with Jack?”

Sam: “Sure, why not? I’ve only got a million things to do, but hey, I’ve got time for your nonsense.”

[Felix's phone rings—it's Jack. Felix puts him on speaker]

Jack(excitedly): “SAM! Dude, you’re a legend! What you pulled last weekend? Man, that was insane! I can’t believe how you—"

Felix(interrupting): “Wait, wait—what happened last weekend? What are you guys talking about?”

Jack: “Oh, you don’t know? Sam practically worked a miracle! Max went from dead last to winning the race, and Sam—”

Sam(cutting Jack off quickly): “It’s nothing, Jack. No big deal. Just a regular weekend at the office.”

Felix(frowning): “Wait, what? Max? What miracle?”

Sam(dismissing it): “Nothing you need to worry about. Anyway, are we streaming, or are you here to get a crash course on my job?”

Felix(laughing): “Okay, okay. Moving on—what are you doing down there under the table?”

Sam( grinning, leaning back from under the table): “Unlike you, I like to keep tabs on what my brother is up to when I’m away. I watched your last video during a break a couple weekends ago, and Max and I… Well, let’s just say we were not impressed.”

Felix(mock gasp): “Excuse me? What was wrong with my video?”

Sam(teasing): “Oh, you know… only that it looked like it was filmed on a potato. So, since I care about your image, I’m building you a new PC.”

Felix(laughing): “You and Max critiquing my video quality? Harsh, man.”

Sam(smirking): “Hey, I’m just looking out for you. Can’t have my famous brother’s content looking like it came out of 2010. Besides, if I have to suffer through watching it, at least make it bearable.”

[Comments start rolling in on the vlog/live]

@SamFanGirl: “OMG Sam being so nonchalant about saving a race and roasting Pewds’ setup at the same time?? I stan.”

@Formula1Nerd: “Wait, Felix doesn’t even know what happened last weekend? He doesn’t follow F1??”

@ThirstyForSam: “Sam casually saying he watched Pewds’ last video with Max Verstappen like it’s NBD… and also, can we talk about Sam in Red Bull gear? 😍”

@PewdsNation: “Sam’s like, ‘I rebuilt a car and made Max win, no big deal,’ and now he’s fixing PewDiePie’s PC. This man can do it all!”

---

Felix(laughing): “So, you’re building me a new PC just because of one video?”

Sam(deadpan): “No, Felix, I’m building you a new PC because your current one is an insult to the entire tech community.”

Felix(laughing harder): “Alright, alright, I get it! How long until it’s ready?”

Sam(mock serious): “Depends… how many more times are you going to barge in while I’m working?”

Felix: “Touché. I’ll leave you to it—for now.”

---

[Comments continue]

@TeamSam: “Sam casually dragging Pewds’ tech setup while being a race-saving genius—what a legend!”

@F1Insider: “Jack wanted to hype Sam up, but Sam’s like ‘nah, it’s nothing.’ Can we all be this humble, please?”

@PewdsFanClub: “I need Jack’s reaction to every race from now on. No excuses.”

@FanForLife: “Sam literally saved Max’s race, but he’s more concerned about Felix’s PC quality. What a guy!”

[thinking-emoji]

wait you’re cooking. it wasn’t a hiatus (just a dapg hiatus) it just wasn’t the content everyone wanted/liked/were used to/whatever.

writing a book and pitching shows and preparing and going on tour is hard work. he was working he just… wasn’t like live streaming writing lol. also he was extremely depressed for a while. obviously that warrants a break.

but i do think you’re right about people just not liking it so they just kind of black it out. which like, if you don’t like something, fine. but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t doing anything. and also, like you said, covid fucked everyone’s sense of time so like. it feels like it’s been 50 billion years since 2018, not 6. which obviously doesn’t help.

Thank you! People in the notes of the post also pointed out how dnp had been doing A Lot of work in the mid 2010s (remember when we had 3 liveshows every week, including one on the BBC?), so it didn't help that phannies were unbelievably spoiled in terms of regular content. But I also don't think it's fair to dnp to expect them to never change the type of content they want to put out. Like, phannies keep saying they'd still love weekly livestreams where Dan just sits at his desk and yaps for an hour, and like. I'm sure he could do that. But I genuinely don't think he'd be more successful with it than with what he did do.

Like. Look at the other popular youtubers from the time of dnp's zenith. Zoella stopped posting. Marcus Butler stopped posting. Troye Sivan has fully pivoted towards music. Connor Franta gets 40k views on his videos. Tyler Oakley streams on twitch? For 60k subscribers, idk how many people he's usually got online in there? And like, the big guns? Shane Dawson? Pewdiepie? Should've quit! Jenna Marbles? Did quit!

I'm rambling on again but like. People need to understand that being a YouTuber from 2014 is not a long-term sustainable job. I honestly think it's almost a miracle that the phandom is still so committed and that they managed to keep their engagement so high (coming out at a time when most people expected their careers to be over probably helped a lot though. To be clear I don't think they came out in order to revive their careers, not at all, but I'm convinced it helped. A lot.)

But yeah what I was saying is. I get that phannies want the content they know and that they grew to love dnp for. So do I!!! But I think we're overestimating our stamina in watching the same thing for years and years and years without ever getting a taste of what it feels like to *miss* that thing. I don't know if the gaming channel return would have been as successful as it was if they both (especially Dan) hadn't disappointed us a little before. And like, I'm kinda sad for Dan bc I don't think that was his plan. I would love to like WAD! I would love to see the vod have millions of views! But unfortunately, I don't love it, and I don't want to click on it when I see it in my recommended, and it feels even more disrespectful to give it sympathy views. Because I want to have fun watching Dan and Phil. And I think we all do.

[i-cant-sing]

Im a new anon , I don't know where the India Pakistan thing came from but I don't think you have lived in India long enough

Pakistan has done some god awful things , my great grandma died last year - her parents and sisters were killed because of Muslims .

You victimizeing yourself saying " should you hate me that I'm a Muslim?" Sounds well... Pathetic

It depends on states - in central India and northern people don't care , in southern and western people can be a bit bias but excuse us for not trusting someone who also killed our people

Also curious why you mentioned "why are you banning hijabs" but not the part where the majority Indians protested against the states government banning it.

Please educate yourself. I don't know how the topic shifted from "save Palestine" to "im a victim because my ancestors were Muslim"

babygirl... *deep breath* EVERY ETHNIC COMMUNITY HAS COMMITED CRIMES AGAINST ANOTHER ETHNICITY. THATS WHY THE SUBCONTINENT GOT DIVIDED-YALL HAD TOO MANY DIFFERENCES AND STARTED HATING EACH OTHER(i mean the bristish technically had a huge part in the "divide and rule" game)! BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN THAT ITS RIGHT! Be it Muslims, Hindus or whatever, no one should start ethnic cleansing and hate crimes.

The topic may have shifted from "save Palestine" for you, but im still on it. Thing is, anon brought up the whole "scared of Muslims, u should see how horrible they are in India" thingy while I was posting about PAlestine, which means that anon thinks that all muslims are bad and therefore its actually okay for Palestinians to die because at least anon will be less scared.

Im sure Pakistan has done pretty fucked up shit too, but ngl, hand to god, not one pakistani anon has come into my dms to shit talk about India. And lets not delude ourselves into thinking that India has never committed any crimes against Pakistan, be it a terror group, the military or the government.

also, what do u want me to do about "majority" indians protested against the hijab ban? Give u a medal??? AS THEY SHOULD! It should never have been brought up for debate.

"but excuse us for not trusting someone who also killed our people" yes sweetie thats called racism (and also- stupidity) because im sorry, is every muslim suddenly Osama bin laden??? SHould we all just not come to India because Raman Raghav was a psycho, so thats how every guy in India is???

God, like what is wrong with yall?? This feels like T Series vs Pewdiepie, just a lot less amusing.

[fishonthem00n]

An Introductory Post

◇ hello there

◇ my name is Alex, and I have been on my shifting journey for about 3 years as of writing this. I've had a few experiences in different realities that I will go into detail about later, but first I wanna say go follow my partner @homebeyondstars for even more shifting goodness. (and a cuter blog owner). y'all can ask me anything about my DRs and experiences, I like talking about them <3

◇ sorry if this is long winded

My Focus DRs:

♡ Stardew Valley (harvey <3)

♡ Hogwarts (ravenclaw, set in 2012)

♡ Pokémon (traveling Pokémon care expert in Alola)

♡ Yuurivoice

My Planned DRs:

♡ Dragon Ball Z (saiyan adopted by bulma)

♡ Tinker Bell (animal fairy)

♡ The Arcana (julian <3)

♡ MCU (basically beast boy)

♡ Skyrim

♡ The Lion King

♡ Kung Fu Panda

♡ Twilight

♡ Unus Annus

♡ How to Train Your Dragon

♡ Legend of Zelda: Breath Of The Wild

My Experiences

♤ my first shift happened only a month or so after starting the journey three years ago. I had made a MHA DR for my first one, which is now basically retired due to me growing out of it. it was a thing where I was living with the League of Villains (if you don't know MHA those are indeed the villains and very not good people). anyways. I meditated before hand, listened to a Raven method subliminal, and went to sleep. I woke up standing in my DR bedroom with the lights off. the only thing illuminating it was the light from the two fish tanks i had scripted in. the sheets on the bed were also visibly black, which I had scripted as well. I very clearly remember the door being ajar and being nervous that Dabi would walk in. from outside my room I could also hear a TV playing the news but couldn't make out what they were saying. I woke up in my CR after a couple minutes total.

♤ my second experience also comes from this same DR. I don't remember what I did before sleeping, but I had a dream about my teeth falling out into the bathroom sink. at some point I became aware that it was a dream, and became lucid. so, to test my control over the dream, I mentally summoned Bucky Barnes from the MCU. it worked, he appeared, and that was all I needed. I willed myself to shift from the dream and ended up in my DR bedroom again. it looked exactly as I had scripted, and I could see everything this time. I passed by a mirror and noticed I still looked like my CR self. so, I verbally spoke the affirmation I used to describe my DR self whenever I would do methods, and I kinda shapeshifted into my DR self. it was crazy ngl. then I went outside my room and into the living room only to find some of the League there. Toga and Dabi were both sitting on different couches, and they looked like they were having a sleepover or something. Toga waved and said hi to me excitedly, and Dabi was too focused on his phone to notice me. I heard Shigaraki say something from behind me which scared me so bad I got thrown back into another dream that I can't remember. the air in my room felt very fresh.

♤ the third one was a weird one and came out of nowhere. I had a lucid dream where I opened my closet door and affirmed that I would shift once I entered it. and I did. I know this because the sensations were completely different from lucid dreaming. I walked down a really cramped hallway and eventually got to a room where Pewdiepie and Marzia were chilling and playing some Gundam fighter game. I chilled with them and we started talking about how some streamer stole some art I made or something, so I asked if I should start posting speedpaints to help my art be more associated with me. Pewds was like "I mean yeah, sounds good to me." I also remember he kept making the game glitch out and the model move in a weird way that made me laugh and he was like "WHY ARE YOU LAUGHIIIIING" and it was nice for my inner youtube kid brain. funnily, what shifted me back was seeing a fish tank and thinking about how much it looked like my CR tank. for some reason I woke up in my CR after that, ig I focused on it too hard

♤ the final experience is another random one and another MHA related one. and kind of a dubious lucid dream, not sure. it starts in a dream yet again where I go outside my house to the back porch and notice my hands are glowing yellow, which I had scripted for my DR quirk "soothing touch". this led me to snap into a lucid dream or minishift, I'm still not really sure. I could smell the rain, and I could feel all the physical sensations like my breath and the wood beneath my feet. Deku is on the porch with me fsr and we talk for a little bit. then he gives me a cheek kiss (not sure why) and I could VERY clearly feel how dry his hair was. like, caked with hairspray type dry. I walked over to a door and was intending on going to my DR through it, but I got woken up by a phone call. thanks @homebeyondstars <3

◇ despite not shifting fully for more than ten minutes ish after 3 years, I'm still going. and so should you. find a way to get excited for your DR, cause it is genuinely exciting having the chance to go somewhere you love at no cost. I'm not gonna stop, and I intend on visiting everywhere I want to go and learning everything I can from those experiences. happy shifting, tell me all about it when you come back <3

[nighttimeenjoyer]

buying a car is a terrifying investment these days like what if you put 100k on a car and they just decide to rugpull their whole brand. instead of your loved vroom vroom jaguar logo you’ll be constantly reminded of their newest ad slogan “Jaguar, i’m so gay i literally cannot stop sucking dick”. next ur stuck with a massive downpayment you cant exit from for years and you’ll be driving your car around and everyone will assume you feel very strongly about the cause. your male coworker starts looking at u different and asks u to come over for wine. girls will start talking about fashion to you when they see you. theyve done it. you start looking at JD vance and think maybe a little eyeliner wont hurt. theres no way you’ll recover from this car financially might as well make the most of it and become gay. jaguar’s next quarterly financials reveal a multi-billion dollar investment and financial aid package from some blackrock executive and stocks start climbing steadily despite no apparent sales. you make a small personal investment into tata motors, india and reap the benefits. the vision of future becomes brighter as you succumb deeper into the fantasy. then a couple months pass and you start recognizing the extravagant dances remind you of something. you encounter t series on youtube and feel a strong sense of familiarity. as you hit the subscribe button, t-series overtakes pewdiepie as the most subscribed youtube channel. the shockwave that follows is nothing short of cataclysmic. there is nothing more remaining of swedes identity after pewds falls and then putin watches the next year’s eurovision which is somehow even more gay and decides this time he’s seen enough, says fuck it and launches tsar bomba 2 because he’s lost too many russian lives anyway and he wont live long enough to care about the consequences. anyway which car brand do you think is less likely to fuck me over in the future audi or lexus?

[mcytblr-archive]

Early MCYTblr Interviews: warpedfungusonastick

today's interviewee is warpedfungusonastick, who's been in MCYTblr since the summer of 2020 and is a member of dreamlying! below is a transcript of their account of early MCYTblr.

Digging back into what I have of my online history, I started the tumblr blog warpedfungusonastick in late July 2020. Beforehand I had a very small <20 follower dttwt account and saw that the Tumblr community was more my vibe. I was 18 when I got into being a dteam ~fan and my personal views on fandom and stan culture and parasocial relationships were, while still evolving, kind of against a lot of the culture that was growing up around especially the twitter fan community.

(This being said, this was the depths of COVID lockdown and I rarely left my house because I was a senior in high school in the U.S. and living with someone who absolutely could not get sick. So I was terminally online and can definitely say in retrospect deeply invested in the fan culture and even the creators/their online personas while being semi-ironically self aware of this relationship.)

I first saw a dteam video in later 2019. Funny enough (and not funny at all, because I think about these Patterns quite a lot), I had then just left the Cryaotic fandom. If you don't know, he was an old friend of pewdiepie who split with him around the time of or before the multiple pewdiepie scandals and pewdiepie whistling off several alt-right dog whistles and that whole thing. But back to the point, like a month after i became a regular Cryaotic Twitch viewer, a long expose came out about him being abusive to his ex-girlfriend and a groomer of underaged fans. Cryaotic was a faceless streamer whose iconography was this little blob thing and I will not abandon the theory that the origins of Dreamwastaken fanart are the direct successor to humanized fanart of this Cryaotic persona.

Through the whole Cryaotic thing I first found out about kiwifarms/lolcow. What stuck to me, beyond the abhorrent stuff said on those sites, was that they had a pretty clear system of archiving things using sites such as archive.is and were completely unafraid to post "doxxed" materials anonymously.

Commentary on DL interviews: - I fully second what georgesoot said about "No it's not odd, I at least partially strove for infamy. Any attention gratifies the ego after all, not just positive attention. Then there was the absurdity of it all". I tried to be a lot less controversial than some other DL members, but I did run with them and did say some things that weren't within the typical conventions of more mainstream and popular blogs of the time. It was a dopamine hit for people to interact with my blog--like any social media--but I/we did it in a kind of absurdist way at a point with the things we said and the ways we kind of transgressed whatever the normal way of being a fan blog was. - Re: Wormweeb--I was also kind of mentally ill and depressed and really only interacted with both friends online (even if they were friends from school). And as a result I took it all a bit more seriously than it was at the time. This is is less related but I used to get these--visceral? reactions to when Drama would happen because I was personally invested more so because I didn't want my online friend group who (although seen as a united front on the outside sometimes, I think) each had our Faves in the mcyt space and had had petty infighting over the morals of that (both seriously and unseriously, but everything starts to bleed, in my opinion).

More about my previous exposure to Minecraft fandom: I used to follow mianite back in the day and watched a lot of captiansparklez & aureylian. Since I joined the dteam fandom before any blog presence I was there for their very first streams (which got like…5k views 10k?) and the birth of the dsmp as essentially a server for friends (which led to minor discourse later when the line between roleplay and people on a MC server blurred.)

So my points of reference for these types of fandoms were a fandom that was very much for younger children (Mianite) and therefore the creators were treated with more distance and the recently up-in-flames Cryaotic fandom.

Back to doxxing/archiving/odd relation between: I used to joke about the tension between the right to privacy and to be forgotten on the internet and the right for nosy teenagers with too much time on their hands (and literally obsession brainworms) to dig up your past. Two things I think that were interesting about the most (in my opinion) morally dubious element of mcytblr and most people formed their negative opinions of critblr on was the having/knowing "forbidden" information. Most of this we were either told by randos or knew through other people online. A lot of it also ended up on Dream's kiwifarms, but that was a bit of a two-way street.

And the second part of this whole thing is the way that this information would come up among The Discourse. Because knowing some of the things we/I knew, you could call out creator's lies/misrepresentations of their histories/online pasts in ways that people who didn't know couldn't. Which was kind of where some of the in-jokes came from. I also took the habit of archiving things (old accounts, posts, whatever) to archive.is and such at the time because I fell on the 'I don't want this digital history to be erased if only for my own sanity.'

I think this has been rehashed before, but at every corner, the mcyt/dteam fandom was a fandom like any other, complicated by the fact that it was a real person fandom. And especially on tumblr where the Culture was a little different because no creators (few creators) were on Tumblr, people kind of just said and did whatever. I struggle to think of any of this as important in the grand scheme of anything, but there was a massive outpour of content because of the sheer size of the fandom across all platforms. There was 24/7 content, big fomo, and so I think blogs acted like pundits--like a forum on the newist in DSMP or Love or Host or MCC or whatever. My memory of that time has atrophied a lot but I think that DL and co. cropped up as the pundit subclass (however some of us had actual talent like wormweeb and made fanworks) and the fandom overall was sustained by a sprawling form of Conversation on the Latest Content.

Q: right-- and while other blogs caught people up on streams, dream lying was more interested in meta on the creators themselves?

I think that was a part of it. We were all united in this semi-ironic cynicism about fandom culture as a whole while being fans ourselves, and we socially shared this Vision of a number of variably worded critiques about - stan culture - cancel culture - the dangers/pitfalls/intricacies of these.

I think a lot of it was just shits and giggles, but at least I at one point had this idea that I was a tiny little measured response to the excess of fandom culture. I looked down on uncritical fandom and thought that especially because some of these creators cultivated deeply parasocial relationships with their young fans (I was not much older, but all 18 year olds are Like That) it was some sort of imperative to talk about that at least a little bit.

As I read through my old posts--these was a lot of self important a lot of rambling a lot of nonsense. And I don't really think that these fandom culture can be changed by one little microblogger with a couple hundred followers, but I stand by a lot of my initial criticisms of the ecosystem as a whole and mainly the creators themselves and their (heh) lying, their harm, their overall misconduct and above all the systems that created and enable their whacky ass bullshit to this day. .

But the doubled edged sword of (I return to the forbidden info thruline) I never really shared info that was private because I wanted to be somewhat ethical, so it always felt a bit like we/I was going crazy with things I knew to be true but obviously wouldn't share because that's nor super moral.

Another note about The Rumors and DreamLying--in my memory we kind of thought were Something. And I guess we've been nudged along in that perception but I think the most vocal and controversial of us just said wild shit that stuck in people's brains and for the longest time I didn't associate myself with dream lying at all on Warpedfungus because I wanted to be Somewhat Normal, if measuredly critical and just…vibing. But I think at circles back to a lot of this being wank amongst a handful of terminally online people who at the time didn't get out enough and, like, fixated on this Thing because it was community (or a facsimile of) and at the end of the way we're all just archives or archived pages or gone forever.

(Which reminds me that for the longest time I had you and Roxytonic blocked because I thought archiving was corny but I now think it's kind of cool. It's a nostalgia trip, if anything else. I'm now in another fandom that would've really benefited from some hardcore archiving because so much of the old internet (and fan spaces amongst them--ie ff.net, livejournal, even more underground spaces) are completely lost to the sands of time and the deletion of those hosting sites, etc)

Q: i am very interested in your thoughts on, as you mentioned before in reference to cryaotic, the way that creators cultivate and manipulate fanbases, and the effects you think it had on how the mcytblr fandom

Dream, along with "learning/studying the algorithm" and getting insanely lucky, did many specific things to cultivate a fandom of immensely parasocial fans. And regardless of my cynical vision of what his motives were, his actions of wanting to be seen as a 'friend', sharing many personal details, being accessible to fans, DMing young stan accounts, following fan accounts, OKaying a lot of fanworks about him/his personal and the whole…gaybaiting (you know what i"m referring to) thing had the result of a very large very dedicated fanbase.

As far as cryaotic, it's my theory that dream knew the effect on having a very…intimate…relationship with his conventionally not ugly young white man friend, and used that. And as far as the other element that I associate between dteam/cryaotic--these were men who had very boring lives and probably saw themselves as undesirable to women Until they had this massive following and this kind of situation happens time and time again where people get Influence that didn't used to have and do messed up things with it. And I don't know what's to be done, but it's quite bad and completely goes against the "wholesome" image they try to cultivate. If not some of the stuff being actually crimes.

I think the common perception is sometimes that these cases are "bad apples" when there are so many bad apples And not even in the man aint shit way, but unlike more conventional routes to Fame, mcyts have no oversight unless they join and esports org and still then…the org may just side iwth them if it's worth it. And that's not to say that this stuff doesn't happen with conventional celebrity and even on college campuses and in everyday life and whatnot but I think people in such a public eye should be held to standards of conduct that may prevent some of this.

[aizenat]

I was watching this woman who does child free content on yt, and she was showing clips of a woman on tik tok who was complaining about some family vlogger influencers (because that’s somehow still a thing in 2024 apparently) on ig who went on a cruise and apparently went to have dinner after the kids went to sleep so they could have a romantic night alone. They had baby monitors and nothing actually happened, but the internet does what it always does and this girl is just moralizing about all the could be dangers that COULD have happened in a worst case scenario because god forbid people don’t live their lives with crippling anxiety constantly planning and expecting the worst thing to happen at all times (not defending the couple but girl nothing happened just shut the fuck up).

And I had this thought I’ve been having a lot where I’m thinking this woman who I’m watching react to this girl’s tik tok (a supposed journalist lol) is wasting her time watching a girl waste her time making tik tok after tik tok moralizing about a couple she doesn’t know doing something that wasn’t the smartest but led to no issues, bitching about this couple sharing their stupid lives online.

And like I just thought to myself “why does this girl on tik tok care so much about this couple to make all these videos faking concern about these kids that are fine? Why is this YouTuber wasting her time reacting to this girl making tik toks about a family neither of them know and how they raise their kids? Why is this couple able to get enough people watching them vlog their lives that they can afford a nice cruise (and apparently make enough to afford a hypothetical nanny for the kids so they wouldn’t have to leave them alone sleeping in the rooms just for a date night, according to critics), and enough attention to get major backlash for doing something I’m sure most of our own parents did at least once or twice.”

Like truly, what does ANY of this matter? I don’t know ANY of these ppl I’m engaging with. I don’t care about family vloggers: I find them all reprehensible. I don’t care about some random white woman’s moralizing on another couple not being perfect parents like she thinks all parents should be. I don’t even understand why the child free content creator was even commenting on the drama. Like what was the point? Don’t have children so you can have date nights without worrying about kids?

Like who cares? Why are we all so obsessed with other people’s lives? People we don’t know, will never know, who will get canceled in a few years for something (if they’re lucky enough to last that long) just to do it all over again with a new influencer. That south Asian ray guy was the most popular YouTuber and and then it was pewdiepie then one of the Paul brothers then dream then Mr beast and he’s getting canceled now so it’ll be someone new this time next year.

Again and again the cycle goes and what do any of us get out of it? Are we better people for it? Are we even entertained? Why does ANY of this shit matter? Truly?

Idk how corny or eye roll inducing it is to say this but the entire internet, and most of modern media, has become a literal virtual reality matrix that we’re all acting like we have to participate in. You don’t go online, you miss all the news. Everyone from boomers to gen x to millennials to gen z to gen alpha don’t know how to connect to people without it. At my last job, my coworkers would bond over memes they’d share on fb or send each other snapchats or tik toks and constantly reference them. And because I’m not on the sites, I was literally missing out. And when I’d ask them to send things to our group chat so I could enjoy the fun, they just ignored me.

In today’s world, if you’re not plugged into the matrix, you pretty much don’t exist. It’s a red flag if ppl can’t find social media on you. YouTube commentary videos don’t even introduce players in drama because they assume you already know who they’re talking about for some reason. I’m expected to know all the latest tik tok influencers and streamers and podcasters and all the other mundane morons taking up space online. Why? Why do I need to know any of them just to keep up? Truly? Why?

Meanwhile, no one knows how our government work to organize effectively (looking at the faux “pro Palestine” ppl protesting the dnc without any fucking real plan all while ignoring that three of the most progressive and pro Palestinian representatives were up for reelection and let two of them LOSE their reelection bid, pulling more pro Palestinian voices away from congress; as well as ANYONE telling people to not vote or vote third party in November), no one seems to care that we’re living through a major environmental catastrophe, NO ONE READS, art is literally dying thanks to corporate greed, men are gearing up for a major anti feminist backlash that I’m afraid no woman under 30 is quite prepared to fight against, and no one can afford to live a happy and comfortable life.

But I have to care about stupid influencers being stupid online for stupid amounts of money because everyone is chasing a bag instead of working to make the world a better place.

I’m genuinely hitting a limit. Not in the manosphere way, but I’m seriously taking the red pill and getting the fuck out. This online world is just so bleak and miserable. I can’t deal with this shit anymore. It’s burning me out and I’m exhausted by it all. I genuinely just need out. Completely and fully. I’m so completely done.

[jackinalex]

Hi there! I really like your writing, you write plots that suck people in very well. I have a question though, and please take this as genuine curiosity because that really is what it is. What are your thoughts on the, hmmm let's say ethics, of writing fanfiction about real people? Ive found myself drawn to the dynamics of relationships for both real and fictional pairings, but when it's real, there is always something that kind of twinges at me. I've seen interviews where sometimes the subjects get uncomfortable knowing people write about them, and I could see how I might feel wierd about it if it were me. But on the flip side, the stories are of course fiction. You seem very involved in this side of the fandom, and I would be very interested to know your thoughts.

Putting this under a cut bc it’s so long lol.

Thank you for the compliments! You made my morning. To answer your question, I think that rpf is a complex and nuanced topic, but what it really boils down to is the subjects' feelings. I’ve written rpf in some capacity for going on thirteen years and will use each of those fandoms as examples to express the nuances of the topic.

When I was 14-16, I wrote WWE fanfiction. The difference between wresting rpf and say, bandom rpf, is that WWE for the most part is fictional and the wrestlers portray some sort of character, even if they go by their real names, therefore it is similar to writing about a tv show or movie (though some people include their real lives and real families). I’ve heard a few wrestlers say that fan fiction is a little weird, but the ones I wrote about never said it made them especially uncomfortable. In fact, Torrie Wilson (my queen), has even tweeted about Jorrie, which is the ship of her and John Cena, which was my first rpf ship I ever wrote about.

When I was 16-18, I wrote YouTube rpf, first about Pewdiepie and Cryaotic (I know, yikes), and those two (especially Cry, and I know, yikes again) spoke at length about how they didn’t mind fan fiction at all. They even read some as content for their channels. I then wrote about Ian and Anthony from Smosh, who also read fan fiction (MANY) times for their different channels. They even read part one of my fics on their channel at one point. Sometimes Ian and Anthony did seem a bit uncomfortable with the fanfiction, but it was more that they didn’t want to read the fics themselves and less that the fics existed. They’ve spoken at length about how they’re happy for people to express themselves in any way, even if it’s through fan fiction about them.

Finally, we have ages 19-now. I’ve written about Jalex for the longest period of my life (nearly ten years, which is nuts). It’s interesting because they’ve made hundreds of jokes about fucking each other for years, made references to fics and how they want people to keep writing them, and Jack even had a Jalex shirt for his JAGK line. Then, around 2012, interviewers started pushing them to talk about it far too much to the point where it made them uncomfortable. So I don’t think it was the fics themselves, but rather being asked about them and being put on the spot.

I say all of this to say that I think rpf is okay if you do the following:

Find out if the subject has explicitly stated that they do not want to be included in fic.

DO NOT send the fics to anyone you’ve written about (unless they’ve asked for them, for some reason). Also, do not mention fics or shipping to these people (unless, again, they’ve asked you to).

I think that people have the right to not want to be written about, but as you said, it is purely fiction. Also, when people have large platforms and have lots of fans, there are “fan” things that kind of just happen, not just fics, but also fanart, fan edits, speculation, gossip, etc. It’s part of the fame. The love and admiration people hold for their favorite celebrities has to go somewhere and that’s often through fanwork.

I hope this somewhat answers your question! I can only speak from my own experience, but this is the conclusion I’ve come to after years of rpf. If you’re interested in participating, we’d love to have you! Our fandom is small, but loyal and tight-knit. Much love!

[lumiereandcogsworth]

smoshblr tag game yippeee!!!

“tagged” by @unknownteapot hehe!!

also i have to put this under the cut because uhhh too long 🫣

1. how long have you been watching smosh? WELL i do have very fond memories of watching the boys with my brother back in maybe 2011? 2012? maybe later idk. i specifically remember the pokémon vids, man-spider, the paranormal easy bake oven, and this one where the entire time you thought that he (i cannot remember who. i think anthony) got his dick stuck in a port-o-potty’s door, and he’s like stuck there for days, and the whole time you think it’s his dick that’s stuck, only for it to be revealed at the end that it was the burger that he brought in with him. THAT got stuck in the door 😭 idk why that one lives in my head so prominently, but it’s so stupid LMAO. anyway… then i started watching pewdiepie and eventually got more into shows on netflix (superwholock nation😐✊) than youtube. THEN in like 2019, my brother rediscovered smosh by way of try not to laugh. and showed them to me. and for a couple years that’s ALL i watched. like legitimately just checked smosh (pit) once every two weeks and watched it, then carried on. i loved it and them but i still didn’t have the desire to check out any other stuff lmao. and THENNNNN at the beginning of 2023, i just very randomly decided, in my boredom and unemployment, to check out their other stuff. and boyyyyy did i get hooked. and i’ve been watching everything ever since. so, very long-winded way of saying i’ve known about them for over ten years, but i’ve been DEDICATED to watching ALL of them for about a year and a half :)

2. favorite smosh cast member(s)? shayne’s been my fave since 2019, and since 2023 amanda has very prominently become second fave, if not tied with shayne. i also love courtney and spencer and tommy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND TREVOR AH

3. favorite pairing(s)? well in terms of actual ships i’m sooooooo so happy for shayne & courtney and they’re SO cute :”) in terms of just like, any duos? shayne & amanda (of course), spencer & courtney, amanda & angela, tommy & spencer, and chanse & damien — they have a very underrated dynamic, like when they’re in videos together they’re so wildly in sync. they seem unlikely but i think damien brings out the nerd in chanse the best lol. also i love so many duos gosh!!!!!!! they’re all such good pals with each other it’s rare to NOT have a good duo. ian being arasha’s “dad” is always a fun bit lmao.

4. favorite reoccurring character? im a chosen girlie for sure 🥹 love that freak.

5. favorite smosh video? oh my goshhh that’s so hard. i love to rewatch shayne & courtney’s tntl trivial pursuit. i love lots of the don’t win mario partys. love when they play werewolf (and blood on the clock tower.) and OF COURSE, love so so so many try not to laughs 🥰🫶

6. first video that got you into smosh? i wish i remembered the first “other” vid i watched last year, but i do not 😔 i also wish i remembered the first tntl my brother showed me, but alas i do not 😔 i can’t even say i remember which early smosh vid he showed me first all those years ago, but i’m going to guess it was one of the pokemon ones. so that’s gonna have to suffice as my answer lmao

7. favorite picture of the cast? i don’t know if i have a favorite favorite but this recent one from the live is very cute and silly <3

8. favorite picture of your fave? i mean really anything this dumbass posts. why is he like this

9. what smosh series do you want to see more of? gosh i’d loooove if they brought let’s do this! back!!! AND IDIOTS PRESENT!!!!!

10. dream guest on smosh mouth? oh my gosh uhhh… i literally don’t know. maybe vanessa lachey just to see amanda resisting the urge to commit murder for a full hour.

tagging: @japhan2024 @hoohoobeanie + anyone else can say i tagged them bc i’m not confident who of my followers are here for smosh adjskdj 💛

[eyneyke]

Sam is back live! pt.3

Pairing: Max Verstappen x PewDiePie!sibling Summary: What if Felix had a genius brother who works as a RedBull's engineer and is also secretly dating Max part 14 of A Calm to my Storm Masterlist

As the game switched to FIFA, Felix, already nervous about his impending loss, decided to make some small talk. “Alright, Sam, since you’re apparently good at everything, how are you at FIFA?”

Sam chuckled, his voice a little smug. “Oh, I’ve got practice. Max and I play a lot between races.”

Felix paused, clearly not expecting that. “Wait. Max Verstappen plays FIFA with you?”

Jack’s jaw dropped. “Hold on, what?! Max Verstappen and FIFA? This is news. Why did we not know about this?”

Sam, casually setting up his team, replied, “Yeah, we play all the time we can. In between races, quali's and Fp's. Max is actually really good at FIFA. I think he was even one of top 100 players last year. We started playing together and then later the thing kind of got out of hand and now there are FIFA tournaments between some drivers and engineers whenever we have free time.”

The chat exploded, and Felix looked shocked.

User 190: “SAM PLAYS FIFA WITH F1 DRIVERS???”

User 191: “Is there anything Sam doesn’t do?”

User 192: “Max is in top 100 players of FIFA?? That man has waaay too much free time😂”

User 193: “Imagine Max bringing Sam just to wreck Carlos 😂”

User 194: “I need footage of Sam destroying Carlos and Max dying of laughter. I KNOW it exists.”

---

Felix was still processing. “Wait, wait, wait. So, you��re telling me you’ve been playing FIFA with F1 drivers in hotel rooms? Who else are we talking about here?”

Sam shrugged, setting up his lineup. “Not necessarily hotel rooms only. Lando brings his PlayStation with him most of thew times, even to the paddock, in case of long red flags or something. Carlos plays with me and Max the most. He’s good and way too proud of that. There’s always at least one driver with a console wherever we go.”

Jack was now invested. “Bro, how have you never mentioned this? You’re just casually playing FIFA with Carlos Sainz?”

Sam smirked. “Max started it. He figured it was more fun when there were more people involved. And he gets a kick out of seeing their reactions when they realize we're better than they expected when we play in teams.”

Felix was flabbergasted. “So, Max just drags you into these other drivers’ rooms, and then you two just wreck them at FIFA?”

Sam nodded, completely relaxed. “Pretty much how it started, yeah.”

Felix threw his hands up in disbelief. “This is insane. Here I am struggling to get a goal in Rocket League, and you’re out here destroying F1 drivers at FIFA.”

Jack couldn’t stop laughing. “Mate, Max is genius for this. Can you imagine him just sitting back, watching Sam annihilate Carlos and Lando? That must be hilarious.”

Sam smiled, clearly amused by the memory. “Max finds it hilarious. He just lounges back and enjoys the chaos. I think he enjoys the fact that no one expects us to be good.”

The chat was going wild:

User 195: “Max using Sam as a secret weapon?? Amazing.”

User 196: “Sam out here crushing F1 drivers at everything.”

User 197: “Carlos is probably still salty about losing to Sam lol”

User 198: “Imagine thinking you’re playing Max and then Sam comes in and they both destroys you 😂”

User 199: “Lando would throw a fit if he lost to Sam, I swear.”

---

Felix was still in disbelief, reading more comments aloud. “Someone in chat says, ‘Max should stream with you next time, Sam.’ Can you imagine that? Max and Sam, the FIFA tag team, live on stream?”

Sam raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. “That would be funny. He’d take it way too seriously if he ever joined us, though. I don’t think you’d last five minutes.”

Felix laughed, trying to picture it. “Alright, alright, I get it. Max is a pro, you’re the FIFA god. But you know what? I still want to see it happen, I’d pay to see it.” Sam just keeps quiet and smiles while Felix continues fueling the chat and Jack just eyes him but says nothing.

Felix, still recovering from the laughter, added, “Honestly, Sam, you’ve got to get Max on a live with us. That’d break the internet.”

Felix leaned forward, pointing at the camera dramatically. “Alright, chat, you heard it here first. If I ever meet him and Max ever agrees to it, we’ll get a stream with him and Sam. But until then, you’ll have to make do with me getting destroyed by Sam.”

Sam chuckled. “I’d go easy on you.”

Felix sighed. “That’s what you said earlier, but look at what happened.”

Jack chimed in again, reading the chat. “Fans are loving the idea of Max and Sam playing with us together. You two are basically the internet’s dream duo now.”

User 200: “Sam is living the dream, playing FIFA with F1 drivers.”

User 201: “Someone get Max and Sam on Twitch together!”

User 202: “Felix, you’ve lost all control of your streams now. Sam and Max are the stars 😂.”

User 203: “Max is a low-key in charge of this stream and he's not only not here but not even aware and I find that hilarious.”

User 204: “Sam should stream with Max during the off-season! It’d be legendary.”

User 205: “Max being one of the stars in Pewdiepie streams without him even being there.”

---

Felix threw his hands up, mockingly surrendering. “Alright, alright, chat. I get it. You love Sam. You love Max. But don’t forget, I’m still here. It’s still my stream!”

Sam smirked, leaning back in his chair. “You just keep telling yourself that, Felix.”

The chat exploded with laughter, and Jack added fuel to the fire. “Felix, you’re just a side character in the story now.”

Felix groaned dramatically, reading more comments. “Fine, fine, I’ll just be the guy who sets up the streams where Sam crushes everyone.”

Sam chuckled softly. “I’ll try to be nice.”

Felix shot back, “Yeah, sure, like you were ‘nice’ earlier? You’re not fooling anyone, Sam.”

The stream continued with more banter and FIFA matches, but the highlight for the fans was clearly the revelation that Sam had been quietly dominating F1 drivers in between races. The internet couldn’t get enough of the Kjellberg brothers, Max mentions, and their unexpected bond over gaming. Fans were already demanding more Sam and Max content, and Max could do nothing but laugh at the absurdity of it all, watching from the comforts of his home in Monaco, counting down the rest of the day in the week until Sam comes and joins him.

[leelee120000]

Poppy Splits From Titanic Sinclair

January 19, 2020

Poppy, the artful and creepy experiential YouTuber turned musician has publicly split from her director, creative partner, and alleged boyfriend Titanic Sinclair. Poppy rose to mainstream internet fame around 2016 when PewDiePie reacted to her videos in a video of his own.

The task of explaining what exactly Poppy is a grueling one. She’s a character whose style was very innocent, kawaii and bubblegum pop until this year. Her videos feel hypnotic with their insanity.

Anything can happen, from 10 minutes of her literally only saying, “I’m Poppy” to her interviewing her best friend, a mannequin. Viewers can begin to see that the videos have a creepy under layer to them. Things seem off; numbers keep appearing, things glitch, and Poppy begins to sound like she’s crying for help. That’s where the fun of being a fan of Poppy begins, being able to theorize what’s happening, it’s exhilarating.

However, this is real. Moriah Rose Pereira, the actress who plays Poppy, is claiming Titanic Sinclair (Legal name: Corey Michael Mixter) has abused her, in a public statement made on Dec. 28, Poppy wrote, “I was a person who suffered similar wrongdoings as one of his former partners brought to light,” which, many have taken to be a direct comment on the 2018 Mars Argo lawsuit. Mars was Titanic’s former creative partner and girlfriend who sued him based on abuse and sued Poppy for copyright infringement.

The news was sparked by Poppy unfollowing Titanic on all social media a few days before the public statement, as fans became quick to run wild with conspiracy theories. Titanic later did the same, unfollowing and deleting every photo of Poppy.

Then on Dec. 7, 2019, Poppy removed the directing credits for Sinclair from many of her YouTube videos. Shortly after the deleting, rapper Ghostemane revealed that he and Poppy had begun a romantic relationship.

This Dec. 28, 2019 tweet shows three screenshots of Poppy’s Instagram story explaining the situation. (Twitter @poppy)

A transcript of the above screenshots:

“To whom it may concern,

I grappled with the thought of making this statement but I decided to set the record straight.

As some of you know, my former creative partner and I have parted ways. This was a long time coming but this is a person whom I defended in the past because I thought he was misunderstood. The reason I am making this statement is due to the amount of misinformation online about me and my character and I owe it to myself to clear a few things up.

I met this person at a young age and things were seemingly good for a while until echoes from his past were too loud to ignore.

I was never ‘an accomplice’ to this person’s past actions like some believe – I was a person who suffered similar wrong doings as one of his former partners brought to light.

This person glamorizes suicide and has used it many times in the past to manipulate me. And the last time I finally had enough.

As a grab for attention he messaged fans before he tried hanging himself while I was on tour with an item that belonged to me. These are tactics that he used for years. This person lives in an illusion that he is a gift to this Earth. He weaved himself into a storyline, wanting the public to believe he was a puppeteer, which is so far from the truth.

In light of recent events brought to my attention, he is already quick to jump in and use my former friends as his next experiment, repeating manipulative patterns he has for years.

I was trapped in a mess that I needed to dig my way out of – and like I always do, I figured out a way to handle it. I encourage those of you who feel trapped in a situation, whether it be similar to my previous one or not – to take the first step because that is the most difficult one.

This is not a request for sympathy and I am not a weak victim, but this is me setting the record straight.

I am happier than I have ever been and I am excited to move forward.”

Fans cheered on Poppy, starting the hashtag #TitanicSinclairIsOverParty in which they spread the word of her statement, showed support and admiration for her, and shared memes making fun of the alleged abuser.

People have criticized Poppy for victim-blaming Mars back in 2018, others have speculated that Titanic might have forced her to. Poppy’s tour is still on schedule and publically she seems to be fine.

LeAnne McPherson

[mr-random-artist]

You have shipwrecked on a stranded island in the middle of the ocean with minimal supplies and three others that that you can pair up with for better survival rates.

The first person is someone who has exemplary skills in living off the land, but is known to be an opportunist that won't think twice about using your life for their gain.

The second person is a loyal, kind individual that isn't hesitant to help you out in any situation, but knows nothing about outdoors skills, barely living off a college diet of noodles.

The third person is a Pewdiepie fan.

Until how long do you and the first two people team up to murder number 3?

When the fuck did you send me this

[salientseraph]

GIV'US THE LIST!!! Genuinely curious about your heinous taste in men

OKAY ANON?1??1?1

I'm gonna try to go in somewhat chronological order. Some are fictional, some are non fictional, it should make sense :)

This is a LONG FUCKING POST BTW

My first crush ever......drum roll......

(gonna be using gifs so i don't hit a photo limit)

1) Mike Nesmith!!! (The Monkees)

He's one of my earliest memories, I had to be around three years old. First crush started off strong. The first episode I ever saw was fairytale, and it was absolutely AMAZING because this beautiful princess was also a beautiful MAN??? It was like hitting the jackpot! I loved his Texan accent SOOO much but had somehow convinced myself that it was embarrassing so I didn't tell anyone?? At 3 years old. But now I'm living my truth👍🏻

2) Michael Jackson (all eras)

I'm almost positive he was my first hyperfixaction when I was around 5. I listened to his music EVERY DAY and SHAMELESSLY wore a sparkly glove despite it being a sensory nightmare. When my mom had told me he died it was like my entire world ended, and I had gained a new catchphrase whenever my parents introduced me to something new, "Are they dead?"

3) Christopher Reeve's Superman (and Lois)

I don't particularly remember how old I was, but it was around the same time methinks. Absolutely melted every time he smiled. And was extremely confused as to why I wanted to be around Lois so much. Couldn't ever decide who I wanted to look at more. (Partly a biromantic awakening)

4) Sam Beckett (Quantum Leap)

If you couldn't tell, growing up in the early 2000's with musicians as parents led to little 5 year old me having so many old interests I couldn't really relate to younger kids, but that was okay because I had variety! I'm not quite sure how old I was when Netflix was a postal service, but every week or so we'd get a new episode of Quantum Leap, and I LOVED Sam. (And of course my favorite episodes were when he had to be a girl. I am a creature of habit)

5) Obi Wan Kenobi (and Padme) (Star Wars)

Yet another one I was REALLY embarrassed about for some reason. All of my (2 neighbor friends) thought Anakin was soooo hot and I was like.....haha yeah....

6) Chuck Bartowski (and Sarah Walker) (Chuck)

I sort of grew up watching the show Chuck, I'm pretty sure we had rented most of the seasons from our local block buster, lol. Anyway, another case of bi panic, because good GOD. I mean seriously. Just look at them. ALSO I have to mention Scott Bakula (actor for Sam Beckett) is Chuck's DAD so um. Do with that information what you will.

7) The Doctor (11) (Doctor who)

I'm 6 years old. I'm over at my mom's friends house and I am subjected to the first modern show I had really ever paid attention to, and I see this beautiful man holding a baby. And I'm like wait hey...maybe I should sit and watch this instead of wasting 2 hours on the sims 2. So I sit my ass down and it is love at first sight. Later I go to watch the show on my own and the first episode he's with a kid MY AGE?!?! I ate that shit UP. Still madly in love with the raggedy man.

8) 2016 youtuber phase (sigh)

OKAY OKAY EVERYONE ON FANDOM TUMBLR don't boo me, everyone had a youtuber phase in middle school. Everyone also had an undertale phase in middle school. It was the thing to do, (aside from superwholock of course) Had to mention it because we're going in chronological order of things, bear with me. Although these are real people, everyone who was in the depths of insanity at the time knows they were all very...fanonized. Pewdiepie, Jackscepticeye, and Dan Howell (known at the time as danisnotonfire). Yes I am a little ashamed. But I do stand by the fact they are all very cute. I think this is also around the time I got into the Flash series, which brings us...

9) Cisco (The Flash)

Okay girl no one wanted him like I did. Everyone was so focused on the flash they did NOT notice my mans, and that was okay because I didn't have to fight over him with anyone lmao- but yes, he was the light of my life in middle school. Promptly stopped watching the show when he left. Around that time I got into Steven Universe all the way until my sophmore (?) year of highschool which brings us to....

10) Loki (Marvel Media)

Okay look, after being a mild marvel hater for a low-key (pun intended) long time, the loki series came out and I was like okay sure I'll watch it. And henceforth 2021 was the year of Lokimania. Or more fitting, Hiddleston mania. Watched everything I could get my hands on. But I always came back to Loki. (I was 16/17 I think?)

11) Castiel (Supernatural)

Avoided watching the show for a long time because of....the superwholock plague LOL. So 2022 rolls around and my mom is like "hey btw this show is actually really good" and I'm like okay whatever.

Then season 4 hits. And I see this ANGEL. And I am in love. 2022 was the year of supernatural, along with FINALLY getting all of the in-jokes of superwholock.

12) Connor (Detroit: Become Human)

I am now 18. I found myself delving back into my old "watch jacksepticeye while I eat lunch bc I want to be non-verbal" habit and stumbled across his dbh playthrough. I watched it literally ANY time I could. Took two days but it was life changing, so much so that I had literally convinced my mom to buy a cheap ps4 and I played the game. Got so much into the fandom I started watching Bryan Decharts streams, and one thing lead to another and HE COMMENTED ON MY FANART!! Anyway live laugh love Connor Anderson (he is hanks son)

13) Arthur Morgan (Red Dead Redemption 2)

Piggy-backing off of the high of dbh, I finally got around to purchasing red dead 2 (because like 5 of my friends recommended it to me, including my older brother) so I got it, and BOY I did not expect to fall in love with a cowboy, but I suppose it is deeply rooted in me to like fellas of that sort. I cried my eyes out and couldn't eat for a whole day when he died in my first playthrough.

14) Astarion (Baldur's Gate 3)

Look do I even need to explain myself here. Its the same old story of girl sees beautiful man from media she has no idea about, obsesses over thousands of videos of him, buys game and romances him, the rest is history. 2023 was definitely my videogame year.

15) Jerma probably

Look we all know he isn't real but look at how cute he is ^v^'!!

Supremely Honorable Mention: Newt Scamander (Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them)

I would have put him in the list but I literally have no memory of watching the first movie, when I did it, how I felt, nothing. Its just a blip and then all of a sudden this human embodiment of a shy giggle consumed my brain (and this was before I was a fan of anything harry potter, again I avoided all the media all together because of the cringe millennial fandom stuff I had seen, no hate to y'all now though cause I'm one of you)

There you have it! I've had a ton of mini crushes in-between these but none compare to this list I think :) I love them very very much and I need to make a giant fanart with all of my silly funky quirky little dudes all being friends <3

[blueberry-lemon]

I realize now that you have to be kind of a freak

Something I've been thinking about lately is how to channel vague concepts like "motivation" and "focus" into actual "routine" and "practice."

And I realize now that you kind of have to let yourself just be a freak about something.

Of course, I say "freak" with nothing but half-joking love, but I really do mean it.

I'm starting to question whether we should always frame people's accomplishments and skills through purely sanded-off positive language like "passion" and "drive" and "expertise." I think those things are definitely true, but I think that maybe a more neutral way to frame it is that those people channeled their obsessions and fixations and weren't too embarrassed to see them through.

I've been thinking about this lately in creative pursuits like writing, art, and music. But I've also been thinking about it when I go to the gym.

I've started going to the gym twice a week, 30min each, just to create a sustainable healthy habit of getting up from my desk. But many of the people in the gym around me, clearly, are pushing themselves way harder than that. They're using all these crazy machines, with the weights piled on, doing all these highly specific exercises to improve specific muscles.

Why are they doing that? Obviously it goes beyond just basic "healthy routines to stay alive." And they probably aren't paid professional athletes. They just have some sort of goal. If we wanted to be polite we'd say that they're driven and passionate, but I think it's just as fine to say that they have some sort of obsession or fixation on improving their bodies or attaining something they have in their mind.

And as long as they're not hurting themselves, that's a good thing! And I admire them for not being too embarrassed on chasing that obsession, even when other people in their lives are probably going out to the movies or staying in and watching TV. It takes obsession to practice throwing a football 30 times a day, or push yourself to hit a weightlifting goal. It's just an obsession we consider somewhat socially acceptable.

I've also been thinking about it lately in art, especially professional manga artists. Both in their comics themselves but also in their side sketchbooks and personal work, you can see an obsession with particular subjects. An obsession with drawing a particular kind of character, or outfit style, or hair style. A fixation on getting better at drawing the human form via figure drawing and then channeling that to what they want to do. Certain poses and camera angles.

Again, I know we call this "practice", but from the outside it would also be very easy to make fun of a person for being so mentally fixated on achieving a particular look, or be put off by their obsession with drawing gothic lolita dresses or whatever it is they can't stop thinking about.

Every person I know who gets good at something or keeps up dedicated practice does it because they channel that obsession and go through with it. They're not embarrassed.

For years, whenever something starts bubbling up that could be that fixation for me...I get embarrassed. I don't channel it. Because I'm afraid that someone will see something that I'm drawing over and over or writing over and over and judge me for it. That it'd be weird to design a character that I'm so passionate about drawing that it borders on obsession. That I'd look weird if I was practicing drawing skirts and dresses or scarves and sweaters or looking through fashion reference material. Or that people will see my body of work as an opportunity to look into my soul and psychoanalyze me.

I don't know why I've been thinking about this lately. Maybe I was weirdly inspired by that Pewdiepie video that went around where he spent 100 days drawing anime girls and actually got pretty good at the end. It's so stupid, but there's a real inspiration in that which makes me feel like an idiot for being too stuffy and too embarrassed to practice something 100 times. Maybe I'm inspired by the demo for Soul of Sovereignty, a game that GGDG admits is the product of their obsession over these main characters and their fashion, their designs, their dynamic with each other. An obsession that is honed passionately through dozens and dozens of sketches and illustrations. Which is the same way any good comic or game gets made.

If you wanna get good at something, and make the stuff you want to see in the world...you gotta put those hours in. And to do that...well, you gotta just let yourself be a freak a little bit. Hopefully I can give myself that permission someday.

[moralkiss]

Kik roleplay!! Minecraft YouTuber edition.

Hi there, I’m hoping this is still a thing and it won’t be embarrassing for me to post. 😅

I’m looking for some lovely people to roleplay with on Kik! I’ve been looking for some people to do some Minecraft YouTuber roleplays such as sapnap, quackity, Karl. I have a few ‘rules’ before you consider adding me, if that’s okay!

1) I can do either a boyxboy roleplay or an OC (original character)xboy roleplay, or something else we agree on together!

2) I wrote medium to long length replies depending on the time and day, I don’t like a couple word replies or sentences. Please try and give me something to work with and I’ll give you something to work with in return. 😊

3) I understand people have lives outside of replying so please don’t pressure yourself to reply right away. And please don’t spam me to answer, I’m doing this out of pure fun in my spare time almost like a hobby so let’s try and enjoy it together. 😊

4) I’m 100% okay with writing smut, I prefer the dominant role. But if you wanted me to bottom, I can do my best.

5) I write in third person literate, I won’t tell you how to write because I know everybody writes differently, all I ask is that you please don’t tell me how to write and don’t control my character this is what roleplaying is about 💝

6) I’m okay with most plots, things I’m /NOT/ okay with are drug usage, suicidal tendencies, gangs or omega/alpha.

7) I have other YouTubers I’m into as well like PewDiePie, Jacksepticeye, Markiplier if you’re into that as well. 😊

8) I’m also into One Direction if you’re into that too.

9) most importantly!!! And last but not least. Have fun and don’t be afraid to communicate with me with stuff you like/dislike in a plot. I want this to be enjoyable for the both of us so please don’t be afraid to talk to me.

Sorry if this is super duper long!! I hope you’ve made it to the end, I’ll mentally give you a cookie in spirit as a thanks 💝✨if you wanted to roleplay on KIK, I’d LOVE to meet you!! Please add me blow if you’re interested.

Kik username: moralkiss

IF YOU ARE A WEIRD PERSON WHO WANTS WEIRD INTERNET SEX YOU’LL BE BLOCKED!