#long hardship

[thinwhitedoc]

SHERLOCK | Martin Freeman as John Watson

[leptonychotes-weddellii]

I'm on it . I'm tumbler

(deer singing radiohead) i'm a creep... i'm a weird doe

[littlenastieswewhispered]

it drives me insane when people say season six is bad because it’s too much about real world problems and the early years weren’t like that. seasons 1-3 are about buffy struggling with wanting to be a normal girl with a successful high school career and a boyfriend who’s good to her and a parent who understands her. that’s as “real world problems” as it gets when you’re sixteen. it’s just kid problems.

pretending the high school years weren’t about buffy struggling with real life as well as monsters manages to invalidate the unique experiences of both teenagers and adults.

the only difference is in s6 buffy is smacked with the reality that now shes an adult, she has to do these things on her own (because giles can force her to and she isn’t guaranteed a legal guardian) and if it gets fucked up the consequences are much more long term and devastating. she can be over not being crowded homecoming queen even though that was very upsetting at the time, because now she has to grapple with maybe losing her house and custody of her sister if she can’t pay bills and that will affect her deeply and forever.

that’s by design. that’s growing up. life was always the big bad. life just isn’t that big when you’re a teenager.

[bloggingboutburgers]

this past week my qpp of almost two years broke up with me. and i know for you, you said you wouldn't necessarily feel heartbroken if your qpr came to an end, but for me, it felt more heartbreaking than some of my past romantic breakups. this whole thing made me wonder if maybe im not queerplatonic or aro enough to be in a qpr, or if id ever want to be in a qpr again. but seeing you post about your qpr gives me hope that queerplatonic love is something that i can experience fully. so thank you for always sharing your story, because that's what's helping me heal right now <3

Aah, to be perfectly honest, as much as I sorta "downplay" it compared to what it must feel for people who experience romantic attraction... I've had a time where I almost felt like I couldn't go on with my QPP as well and the sheer thought of it was really hard to bear too, so my words here aren't necessarily being very fair to the reality of things.

It was during the travel ban of March 2020 to November 2021 where citizens of my country and others weren't allowed to enter the US unless we spent 15 days in a country that wasn't banned. It made it much harder than usual to visit my partner and as it was nearing 2 years with nobody aware it was going on anymore and US people more concerned about whether they'd be able to have turkey for Thanksgiving, my hope was running really thin. So for a few days in mid-October, as I was at rock bottom, I was starting to write in passing to my partner about how maybe going on wasn't worth it because the separation was too hard on us, it wasn't showing signs of stopping, and the whole thing maybe wasn't worth the pain if they could live their life happily and not have to worry about me who couldn't visit.

And then we videocalled at some point, and when they tearfully told me that even if it did end then and there, they wanted me to keep the promise ring they'd recently given me, I suddenly felt a quiet rage in me going like "No. Fuck this. Look at them. I love them. And I love this too much to allow some cruel governmental decision to end it. If it ever ends, it'll be because WE want it to end. Not because of shit like this."

...I'm making it sound super dramatic but yeah long story short this is also a big reason why we're planning to get married. So that when the US government decides to put a ban on countries including mine again, they can't stop us from vibing together this time.

I guess... I still don't wanna 100% assume we'll be together forever because I don't wanna trap them in a situation they may no longer feel happy in. We're doing great now, but I still have it in the back of my mind that maybe someday they'll get sick of me (they say they never will and that'd be dope if they never did, but never say never and all), or we'll both just want other things, and if it ends like that, then... Yeah, that'd be alright. Much more alright than the way it almost ended.

(...Oh, and for the record, if a friendship of mine ended abruptly, or if my brothers stopped being on good terms with me, I'm pretty sure I'd be just as heartbroken, to be fair. And it'd feel like my reality was collapsing a little. I guess anything ending, any human connection ending, has that effect to a degree, if it's important enough, after all.)

Though describing things like that does make it a bit harder to define what makes it "queerplatonic" as opposed to "romantic", I still... Just have that feeling in my gut that it isn't romance, y'know? It's kinda... A mix between being close friends and being an old married couple without ever having gone through the grandiose passion-honeymoon phase. Maybe that phase IS what defines romance per se. I don't know. Maybe someday I'll find more answers, but it's kinda hard to find answers when you have no idea how romance works to begin with I guess 🙈

In any case... Sorry if I caused any confusion or if I made you question your validity. The thing is pretty simple to be honest: if you feel you're aro, you're veeeeeery likely to BE aro. Because nobody can make that call but you and nobody can name the relationships you have but you. And if amongst everything you even FOUND the words "aro" or "queerplatonic" in a world where those identities and types of relationships are so aggressively hidden or erased, then it's gotta stand for something.

...I guess at the very least THIS I can be certain of TwT Sorry I'm a bit messy about all of this myself, I'm still also going on about it trying to figure it out day by day, but I owed it to you and everyone to be honest. These things are hard to define and I hope to keep finding better and better words to do so someday. TwT

[mo-ok]

the gang makes a devastating financial decision

[ocrukoji]

Can't get love songs out of my head..

[melverie]

There's actually something really inspiring and comforting about Solomon having been alive for who knows how long, having seen humanity at its worst over and over again, having suffered through pain and loss and fear and dread and any horrbile thing imaginable for probably centuries now, and yet not only does he still have faith in humanity as a whole, but he also keeps on saying with zero hesitation that yes, humanity is worth saving and yes, he will do anything it takes to do so

Like yes, we are truly wretched and awful. Yes, we're also filled with love and capable of being kind and compassionate. Yes, we are all deserving of life, no matter what

[i-cast-zone-of-truth]

THAT'S the context of "fangs of fortune"??????????????

[akai-anna]

Round 3

Round: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8

[bi-dykes]

“What do you mean there’s still so much biphobia in fan spaces? Bisexuals are like some of the most popular characters!”

Yeah, and they either get treated like this:

Or like this:

“Biphobia isn’t real” neither are your braincells

[perseruna]

Pre Season Four press thread with Freya talking about Ciri and Liam.

Freya's been on a press tour for the Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes for the past few months, and she'd sometimes share a morsel of information about S4 of The Witcher, so I thought I'd put all the quotes on it together to tide us over during the hiatus and bring in some more positivity!

Allan reveals that Ciri goes to "quite a dark place within herself… She's trying to pretend to be someone else and is becoming that," she explains. "It's a darker place for her but there's many moments of joy and freedom in many ways that she hasn't had. So it's this double-edged sword." To not succumb the story to the fantastical elements and magical powers Ciri has, Allan strives to still make Ciri relatable and as humane as possible. “I���m always fighting to prioritize and keep the story and character building to try to make it as real as possible. Because otherwise, it would just be soul-sucking.” Allan heavily relies on the books in which The Witcher is based for the upcoming season, more than in years past. "It's been exciting because I've been able to have creative input about things I like in the book, and I'll ask to put those elements from the book in the show," she smiles. She sees her journey with Ciri as one that both mirrors and seeps into her own life in its own strange way. "What I go through as Freya in some ways is what she's going through," she says. "We have kind of become those characters and the line has crossed over a bit. She was never particularly dissimilar to me. She's formed quite a lot of me." (via Flaunt Magazine)

"I don't want to speak for [Liam], but from what I've understood, I feel like he's really wanting to try and bring the heart. He's been training. I feel sorry for him, honestly, because, number one, that fan base can be very attack-y, and it's not an ideal situation to be in taking up someone else's role. But I'm really excited to see what he does. And he's such a lovely guy. I just hope that people give him the time of day, you know?" (via Collider)

"[Liam]'s so sweet and just such a normal guy and so willing to connect," Allan says. "And I feel bad for him because he's had so much weight and pressure on his shoulders, joining a new cast as one of the leads and replacing someone else who's already done three seasons. It's a lot. It's been important for the rest of us to really make him feel that he's a part of the family." (via Inverse)

"[Ciri]'s experiencing a very complicated romantic relationship for the first time and really falls into a very dark and brutal side of herself but also a very free one in some ways," Allan says, calling it liberating "to be able to do something different than before and surprising, hopefully." (via Variety)

“[Liam]’s lovely. Really, really sweet, a really, you know, grounded person. And I was dreading it for a while if I’m being honest, but now I’m on it, and we have, thank god, a great director starting us off which has made it so much fun. My storyline is… there’s so much great stuff to play. I’m actually quite happy, yeah.” (via Comicbook)

“I haven’t… I haven't necessarily really wanted to do [Season Four]. But now I really want to. Now I’m loving it. And let me tell you why. Because our director (Sergio Mimica-Gezzan) for block one is brilliant. You don’t always get directors that actually direct you, and give you ideas that you haven't thought of that are intelligent. And he is that. And it’s so lovely to have that. But I struggled at the idea of going back before shooting. Just because it’s been such a long journey, and it’s been very tough at times, for everyone. But now that I’m on it, and I’m with this amazing group of new actors who are just such fun people. And like I said we’ve got this great director, and so I feel suddenly very lucky to be doing it, and I’m glad that I am, having been kind of dreading it for the past year. Was it because it was just so intense to shoot? Yeah. I mean there’s lots of various factors, I think everyone found it difficult last season. And you know, sometimes there can be creative struggles, and that’s why it’s so lovely to have Sergio, our current director, to have someone lead us through it and have someone who's on the same page. And also, just like, you know, you hear this often with people that have been in something that long, and you played a character that long so it really does feel like… I feel like I’m about 100 on that show. I feel like the old women of the set, even tough I’m still the youngest. Still the bloody youngest, but I feel like I’m bloody ancient. Ciri, this season, is so dark. It’s so dark. I mean, this is really exciting, and this is why, now, I’m really getting into it, and happy that I’m doing it because she has such a great storyline, it really goes to a dark place.” (via Reign)

Allan teases that Ciri's storyline in The Witcher's next chapter will take "the biggest shift we've seen. It's so unbelievably different from anything that I've ever played with her," she says. "She has her first experience with romance, if you can even call it that, because it's not a good relationship. She goes into a very dark part of herself that I think is going to be terrifying to look at."  Some fans weren’t thrilled when the transition was first announced, but Allan dismisses the vitriol. Fans “just love to hate on something,” she says. “We’ve made it clear that we’re welcoming [Liam] with open arms.” (via Elle)

There's no relationship this season. Ciri's off on her own path and [Geralt]'s off on his own, and so it's, "Forget about Geralt". That's what Ciri's in the zone of. "Let's try and block that out. That never happened. Now I'm Falka; I'm not Ciri." But as you can see, I sort of haven't left it behind. I'm sort of still in it now. But Liam's lovely; he's a really nice guy. I haven't seen anything he's done because we don't really have scenes together, but he's so sweet. I've heard that he's smashing it, so I can't wait to see what he's doing. (via Screen Rant)

The other day I was fighting a monster [in the Witcher Season Four]. Spoiler. Yeah, no way! Who would've thought! [laughter] And they actually got those VR goggles, so I could see on the set where the monster would be, and how it looked like. It was kinda crazy. They’ve not done that before, but it was great. It meant that I really understood what it is that I’m actually fighting. (via HighVoltageLive)

"You actually also haven't seen that [Ciri] gets new hair and makeup, as well, which I think when you see that, it's a lot of paralleling the game. So, I think that will tie it all together, as well. But I think it was basically about getting a mixture between the books and the game. I was very heavily involved with the costume, and I really wanted it to be a bit of a mixture of both, just so that fans had that. The minute I'm in that costume and the new hair and makeup, it feels like a different Ciri. It's so much fun. We've just never seen her like this, and so I'm really excited for people to see what happens. It's fun." (via Collider)

[On when Season Four will come out.] Listen maybe 2025, maybe… I don't know. That’s me guessing, I’m just guessing. Because I actually don’t know. But I hope so! Because I want people to see it, because it’s actually really cool. So, please watch it. Please, okay. Because Liam’s gonna rock it, so. (via The Direct Extras)

[likealittleheartbeat]

Zuko finished reading Aang's manuscript. He rolled up the parchment. The dry sound of the inked paper curling around itself touched him. That sort of sentimental mood always struck him after he read Aang's stories. Turning away from the sunset over the Patolas, he walked into the bedroom from the balcony, the orange light rippling over the mussed comforter.

Before he could set down the scroll and find a scrap of parchment to note his thoughts like usual, Aang swirled through the entryway as if he'd been listening in the hall all along. He leaned into Zuko, "So...?"

"Come here." Zuko kissed the arrow permanently wrinkled by Aang's years of warm wonder.

"You're avoiding the question," Aang responded as he curled fully into his reader's embrace. He placed his hand on Zuko's grip around the writing, and they looked together at the shared sensation.

"I'm a bit biased," another quick smooch, "but I love it." Zuko knew when Aang pulled away to plop down on the mattress and stick his bottom lip out what it meant. Not spot edits for grammar, not goods or bads, not likes or loves. Yet, even at forty, the petulance was still too endearing to immediately give him what he wanted. Instead, he stroked his beard and paced, keeping tabs on Aang's impatience from the corner of his eye.

Just before it over-steeped, he headed back to the bedside, kneeling and aligning his fingertips with his beloved's. "I never believed happy endings were believable," the former Firelord guided their hands into the air as he explained, "until you." Catching Aang's eyes again, Zuko crinkled up his nose, disrupting the lines where his anger had bore down into his scar for so long. "Is that an adequate review?"

"Is that a review of this story," Aang asked, "or just the crush you had from the first time you saw me?"

"Fine." Zuko stitched his finger's through the gaps and into a fist around Aang's hands, trapping him, so that with each compliment, he could aim his lips toward another ticklish spot. "And I always end up tearing up," he concluded as they reclined on the pillows and let their eyes fall into the depths of one another's, "that you can bare to write about kinds of joy that don't exist now."

Aang didn't respond right away. Darkness had fallen. Every object in the room was shrouded by night but lined by the moonlight's silver. Their hands traced around the curls of ears, the course textures of eyebrows, the rigid bones of cheeks and jaws. Soon enough they leaned into the desire those sketches had conceived. Then, nestled together, they dreamed.

[the-black-bulls]

Realization of the Day:

(⚠ huge manga spoilers for anime only below)

Yami is an actually pretty darn tragic character if you take five mins to think about it and take a good look at his history; I managed a quote based on this as a joke here, but he's indeed covered nearly every sad and tragic backstory trope in the book.

Let's see... he lost his mother who died from childbirth when he's 5-6 years old, and spent the better part of his childhood on pointless and intense training by his abusive, sexist, daughter-beater, war obsessed father; and then at the age of 13 said father forced a freaking drug on his baby sister and Yami had to witness the massacre of their clan by her hand before he took down his father for once and all to protect her before he stopped her and held the weight of all her crimes on his shoulders and left his hometown to never return again.

Then... he shipwrecked, barely surviving death, on an unwelcoming land and suffered from language barrier, culture shock, xenophobia and about every typical "Why Clover Kingdom is the Worst Kingdom in the World" key point, all lasted for two years until he turned 15 and recieved his grimoire, but prior and shortly after to it Yami was pretty much on his own with no one else to rely on or a home to return to.

The... things got better, no? He met the Faust Bros, he met Julius, he was offered a roof to sleep under and a chance to start fresh; 15 years lad who's already suffered a lot but ready to live and learn against all the odds with Nacht as his partner in crime and Morgen as his best friend... and then they both got screwed up years later when Yami, at the age of 18, wasn't around, so he only got to face the loss through a visit to the latter's grave while the former grieved his brother's death, and Yami never stopped smoking ever since.

It was right then and there when Yami decided, enough's enough, and promised to create a squad that became a home for the unlucky who shared some of Yami's experience in his past, be it the abusive family, lost of a beloved one, crippling loneliness, crime burdens, being unfit to the norms, and the list goes on. My favorite example is a threeway tie between Noelle, who is pretty much Ichika if Ichika didn't have an amazing brother, and Gauche, whose first meeting with Yami makes a hell lot of sense now that we know Yami also had a sister he threw his life for her sake, and finally Nero, who will never be able to return to her old life and is fairly content about it because she's too loyal to the person she loves to cry over homesickness.

Yami has been there, done that, experienced those, and is still going through some TraumaWorthyBullshit™ right now, and while he rarely shows negative signs of what he's been through, I like to think that he offers the Black Bulls what he always wanted to be offered.

That, by accepting them and letting them live however they want, but above all, by giving them a safe place to belong to.

In short, the Black Bulls is Yami's way to deal with the bullshit that's his lifetime worth of trauma. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[undead-moth]

I've seen a few people mention how the sauce Carmy makes in Apologies is black with white spots, and how in that very scene Sydney is wearing a black bandana with white polka-dots. From what I can tell, most people are interpreting this as an intentional writing choice, which I agree with, but they also seem to be interpreting the sauce as something Carmy did subconsciously.

I saw one person say that Syd is Carmy's "muse" and she's inspiring his cooking without him even realizing it. Another interpretation I saw was that this dish was evidence of Carmy metaphorically not choosing Sydney, since he throws the dish in the trash in the next scene.

While anybody is allowed to interpret the sauce scene however they want, I thought I would point out that it likely wasn't the writer's intentions for us to interpret this as something Carmy did subconsciously, because the point being made in that dish, or at least what we are supposed to understand about that dish, is that the polka-dot sauce is not supposed to be polka-dotted.

That is a broken sauce. The white dots that are popping up and spreading in it aren't supposed to be there. If this sauce had been made properly, it would have been one consistency, and therefore one color. Chefs don't break sauces, and breaking a sauce is something you're specifically meant to avoid. In the universe of this show, Carmy didn't intend for that sauce to break, and that is why he throws it in the trash. Given that it doesn't make sense for him to have broken the sauce on purpose, that means that he also didn't purposefully mimic Syd's bandana.

In fact, the head chef at the NYC restaurant once mocked Carmy for a broken sauce. At the funeral dinner for Ever, Carmy is thinking about the abuse he endured by that chef, and one of the insults he thinks of during a montage of memories from his past is the chef implying that breaking a sauce makes Carmy broken. It's one of the insults haunting him this season.

(Edit: I have been informed that chefs do sometimes intentionally break sauces, and it’s called a split-break. I still personally interpret it as unintentional in the show, but it’s interesting to consider the difference in meaning if it’s not.)

That being said, I don't think this means that Sydney's bandana and the sauce coincidentally match each other. This scene takes place in the penultimate episode, directly before the funeral dinner at Ever where Carmy confronts the NYC head chef, and where Chef Terry gives a speech that, in my opinion, is meant to deliver the message of this season.

Throughout the season, the pressure Carmy has placed on himself has only increased. This has affected his ability to cook well. We see Carmy throw away multiple dishes in different episodes. We can assume he screwed these dishes up, but it's impossible to know since Carmy's standards are so high nothing is good enough for him anyway. But with something like a broken sauce, we know. We know that he's not simply being a perfectionist when he throws the broken sauce away. He's definitely screwed the sauce up.

At this point in the season, Carmy's reached his breaking point. This is represented visually in his broken sauce.

However, they could have used any broken sauce, in any colors, couldn't they? It's not a coincidence that they used a sauce that, when broken, is black and white. I think in part the reason they chose the colors black and white is because of what those colors usually represent - darkness vs lightness, wrong vs right, bad vs good - and Carmy is caught in between. At this point in the season, he's on a path toward something dark - but he can choose the light, and both are waging a war inside of him at this moment, breaking him.

It's also still significant that Syd is wearing the black bandana with white polka-dots. Especially because Chef Tery - the foil to the chef who abused Carmy, the narrative good, right, light, representing the path Carmy should be on and needs to choose in the future - also wears a black bandana with white polka-dots this season.

Together, this all represents what Carmy risks losing if he continues on the same path, and inversely, what he could gain if he chooses the right one. Carmy, the character, is not conscious of any of this, and in the universe of The Bear, none of this means anything - but they do mean something narratively.

Carmy is screwing up, and because of that, he's breaking. He screwed the sauce up, and the sauce broke. The bandanas worn by Chef Tery and Syd represent what he's screwing up, and how that is breaking him. They also represent what he needs to choose in the future to avoid breaking, and to make things right.

[nullbutler]

something something identity something something culture

[nightmareonpeachstreet]

Meanwhile, on my blog, I’m still over here pretending we know anything tangible about Focalors to cope.