#logan looks at him like he just offended him greatly

[cyberniix]

in light of my last post

would yall fw some logan objectum doodles like genuinely 😭

twas a joke at first but i think it would be funny

[overnightheartbeats]

Wake-up calls were so rude, but oh..so necessary. Danielle knew this very well, her mind always finding a way to bring her back to reality. Would've, could've, should've. Most of her sentences had those three words included. She could've figured it out earlier, she should've kept her distance and told him some other time, she would've failed regardless. No matter how many times she looked at it, things wouldn't change. Logan was right about that. But the guilt had to go at some point, right? There had be a point where it wouldn't feel so bad. Or would their happiness always be plagued by that?This had gone too far. Sure, Danielle was sensitive (perhaps more sensitive than both), but the things that were said didn't hurt just because she was sensitive. They were hurtful. That's the tough part about someone knowing you so well, they also knew how to hurt you profoundly Today, Logan had done that. And she couldn't tell at what point was he still letting out his frustrations, and at what point was just things meant to hurt.

Telling him she hated him was harsh, maybe a bit too much, but that was not crossing her mind at the moment. The dust would eventually settle, they'd both be worn out, and then she'll evaluate all that was said. It would be a gut punch, thinking back to what she said said. How much she had thrown at him, just to hurt him too. The thought of hurting Logan seemed so ridiculous, she'd never do that. Knowing you're capable of it now, it was a heavy weight in her chest. This was no longer a conversation, it hadn't been for a while now. At this point, they were only listening to strike back, to hurt the other back. And clearly, they had each packed a punch or two. "Oh! Oh..so what? What am I not admitting?" The Nicest Person of the Year award? Brows knitted together momentarily, what did that even mean. If that was a thing, she may have an award or two - or at least be runner up to it. She thought so. Actually, who even cares? Frustration was rising, and it was suffocating her. The worst feeling. "Admitting you're a dick is not the flex you think it is! Besides, w-what if I don't want that stupid award?" Words were coming out rushed, she was so focused on getting everything out that she was stumbling over her words. "I need to grow up? Please! You're the last person who should be talking about growing up!" And the irony was that two children were telling each other to grow up. Danielle only rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest. How do you even respond to that? Did she even want to? He'd probably just talk over her again.

For once, he was not immediately countering her words with more of his own. And Danielle was surprised, had she gotten a point across? Good for her, it was about time. Though, one glance at him and she began thinking that she had not made a point after all. "I wasn't...oh my god," forget it. He was right, insulting someone wasn't in her list of strengths. And it was meant to mock the situation and how he kept reminding her that she wasn't complaining about their earlier moments. Instead, she had just given him more material to brag about. She couldn't help but frown at his comment. "Only most of the time? Gee, thanks." Only irresistible most of the time? Well, she wasn't offended at all. "It's not that I don't like it, I just don't like it right now." Important distinction. Any other day, Danielle loved that about him - she pretended it annoyed her sometimes, but on the contrary, it amused her greatly.

The golden question, what was left to minimize? The answer, Danielle couldn't be certain. She was hopeful that there was still something they could do, to balance their karma. But realistically, those chances looked pretty slim. Perhaps, it was just that Danielle was just afraid of the karma that would eventually get them. Believing there was a solution was easier than admitting that nothing could be done. So, her head hung low as she nodded a no. Defeat had finally come to claim its place. "I didn't tell you because..." was it so easy for him to just ask for what he needed? Clearly, Danielle would benefit from learning few more things from him."Okay fine..I'm sorry."

It was finally over, the great war. Logan looked as exhausted as she felt, life drained out of her. "No..I know. I...know constant reminders shouldn't be needed. But, a reminder every now and then doesn't hurt. At least for me I guess." Communicating, that was good. Right? Their exhaustion definitely helped, they were calmer and no snarky remarks in sight. She bit her bottom lip, a shoddy attempt to keep her lips from quivering so much. Her eyes were wide with surprise, hoping he would tell her otherwise. That he'd deny what was running through her mind right now. She wasn't sure what she'd do if he said he was trying to push her away. "I don't want to go ever..so please, just don't push me away please." She was pleading with him, though her words were quiet. It wasn't stupid though, more like their guilt messing with them once more. "And I love you Lo, I really do."

Danielle's heart felt broken, pieces laying everywhere. She had ruined them with one sentence. She was thanking her lucky stars that they didn't keep yelling, that they stood on the ledge and stepped back before taking the dive. Logan stepped closer and she found it impossible to step back. Her eyes fluttered shut as he cupped her face, his touch bringing a melancholic comfort to her. "You won't lose me...because I simply can't let you go. I.." a small sigh escaped her. "I have a lot to make up to you as well." Mostly for today's fight, it wasn't lost on her...the nasty things she said. Still, she nodded to let him know, that she believed him. She always would. The look in his eyes devastated her, what had she done? His arms around her left her frozen for a moment. Their last hug felt like an eternity ago. And yes, earlier - she couldn't fathom the idea of being this close to him, but all that anger had been extinguished. It had finally died down, and she was afraid that if she didn't embrace him, she'd collapse here. After a few seconds, she reached out - her arms wrapping around him tightly, forgetting about gentle. Danielle needed to feel him close, needed to communicate how sorry she was. How much she wished she could take it all back. "I know..I believe you." First fight and they weren't even official yet. She found some comfort in knowing they were not typically fighters, but this was all new territory. They've never been anything other than friends. Would things change as their relationship did too? "You're right, we'll be okay...I'll do better."

On the other hand, Logan's feelings had built up over such a long course of time that he should have had the sense to hold on a little while longer. Or a lot longer seeing as he'd waited long enough. At the same time, it had been too easy to get caught up in the moment and make up for lost time. He'd loved Danielle for so long and so quietly, the opportunity to love her out loud and without any rejection presented itself and he rolled with it. Couldn't help himself in case he woke up and it was all a dream. Maybe the first time was a slip. And maybe after the first time, he should have stopped then. Not to stop, per se, but to press pause until he could do this the right way. No. It shouldn't have happened at all - not whilst he was technically unavailable. And he certainly shouldn't be trying to justify it to himself to ease his guilt or conscience. So much for getting over her. Now, he knew it was a fool's game to have even made himself believe he could get over her. Feelings like that didn't simply disappear overnight because someone else was on the scene now. They were just...buried, waiting to be dug up and resurfaced as and when needed. Bringing him back to reality. Everything that happened after occurred so, so fast. Maybe this was the wake-up call.

From the moment he heard her voice tremble, Logan knew he had gone a little too far. His own words often got him into heaps of trouble in the past. Usually, it was the good kind. The fun, rebellious kind that had him wrapped up in too much mischief, living for the joke of it all. Upsetting Danielle wasn't a joke and it was something he came to realise he was more capable of than he ever knew. Sure, they had arguments in the past, sometimes over stupid stuff but it was resolved within moments usually. Ended up in laughter or teasing her as much as he could just to see the look on her face. For a laugh and to see that beautiful smile on her face. Yet now, all he seemed capable of was hurting her - something he never truly realised was a possibility up until now. But he didn't really see how the words were hurtful to her... Wasn't he merely stating a fact? Besides, it was Danielle who brought up the mention of neighbours - it hadn't even occurred to him until she mentioned it. It was a definitely bit of a reach to come to that conclusion but still. Maybe she was right when she called him a dick, he couldn't even deny that, even if he had way too much pride to admit that to her face. But wasn't hating him a bit extreme? Logan wondered whether there should have been a right now tagged on at the end of that statement. I hate you right now. The moment he'd felt bad for her quivering voice was over though as soon as those words left her mouth. Even though deep down he knew she was saying it in her heightened state of rage and frustration, he couldn't deny it hit a nerve. "I might be a dick but at least I can admit that! You're not exactly earning the Nicest Person of the Year award either. If you hate me for stating a fact then to me, that sounds like a you problem then it is me. Maybe you need to grow up and accept it for what it is." Rich, coming from someone who acted like a big kid when he wanted to...like now for instance. Nicest Person of the Year award? What the fuck was he talking about? And so his anger had not yet faded. His brief moment of sympathy or guilt evaporated as quickly as frustration crept in once more. "I was talking about you, obviously, you... you... If you listened to a goddamn word I said! But nooooo. You're too busy talking and talking. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!" Logan couldn't help but talk over her when she continued to accuse him of being full of himself. Another insult he could accept but at the moment she really was giving him a run for his money! The final 'blah' sounded louder than the rest in volume, and ended just as she said we get it. For a brief moment, he stopped to catch his breath. Chest heaving as Danielle came closer to him, they were practically in each other's faces. And yes, his mind happened to drift a little moment where his gaze flickered to her lips, contemplating ending this argument once and for all by pulling her in and kissing her. A moment came and went as fast as he could blink because she was off on one once again. So much for that, then.

That being said, her words had stunned him, evident in the way his eyes had widened. Don't laugh, Logan. Please don't laugh at her, he tried to tell himself, felt the inevitable pull of his lips and he had to take a step back so he wasn't directly laughing in her face. Now that would have been a dick move. Turning around with his back facing her to hide the stupid smirk on his face. He should have listened to her properly, the rest of her words, but honestly he had the words Logan is irresistible in his head, and the constant urges to tease her about it were becoming more and more prominent. Of course, he never genuinely thought it was the only reason she was here. It was just an argument he threw at her in the crux of an argument. "Okay, so one: thank you. Two: you're irresistible, too - most of the time, and three: I'm glad we can both agree on that. You make it sound like such a bad thing and if you're trying to insult me then it's not working..." Oh come on, he couldn't help himself. She made it too easy, if he hadn't addressed that comment then it wouldn't be Logan. He kicked at the air, like he was knocking over a stone in his way or something; just a distraction technique so he didn't start laughing even though they were both clearly hurting each other in the situation. "Keep saying stuff like that and you'll only make me more...what's it, you called me? Full of myself? Yeah, that's it. Not a problem with me but clearly it's something you don't like about me, so." He really wasn't doing himself any favours by addressing the least important parts, was he?

Once he thought he could dabble in conversation with her - or arguing, though you could technically argue and engage in conversation at the same time - without laughing or grinning at her words, he finally turned back around to face her as she spoke again. A heavy sigh fell from his lips. Much to his dismay, Danielle did have a point. She had only said it once. Once was enough though, quite blatantly. As for minimising the damage... sure, they could try. But hadn't they already zoomed right past the point? Could they minimise anything at that point? "What damage is there left to minimise? It's already been done, hasn't it? I...I don't know what you think we do?" A genuine question, a sign things were slowly calming down, perhaps? She sounded as tired as he felt by now. Logan wished he had all the answers but truth be told, he had none of them.

"What the f-you never said anything about assurance. I'm not a mind reader. I don't have a crystal ball with me; if you need assurance then just say so? Instead of...instead of... ugh, you're gonna give me a migraine, I swear." A sign that things were calming down? Nope, not yet. She really was getting under his skin. The way she kept nodding her head started to worry him, and he frowned at that. He was about to tell her if she continued nodding like that, her head might fall off. But there it was; another wrong word he used, another way for her to flip out on him. Even if Logan was doing precisely the same thing, too. But it was safe to say he was struggling to keep up with her. Even if it was technically him who started this whole ordeal by getting offended over something she said. But then she dismissed it with a whatever and he was uncertain whether or not he was supposed to argue with that or not. By this point, he was tired, unsure of what the goal was here. What was the point anyway? She would only listen to half of it before going full speed ahead anyway. Sometimes he needed to realise when it was time to back down. Was now one of those times?

Maybe it was. Being the reason for someone's tears - her tears, specifically - was, even if he couldn't voice it out loud, it was heartbreaking. Reminded him she was right, maybe he was a dick after all. Any anger dissolved; Logan was tired of fighting her on this, anyway. The way Danielle sounded...defeated when she asked the question. Would it be so bad to remind each other often? "No...Of course not," he admitted, sighing as he ran a hand through his hair. "Not at all. But at the same time...we shouldn't need to feel reminded all the time because...I don't know. Because we shouldn't feel like we need the constant reminder because it's already enough." Did that even make sense? Maybe he was spouting nonsense because he grew exhausted from the fighting as well. They were supposed to be on the same side, not opposing sides. "But no, it's not a bad thing. Depends on how you look at it, I guess." No argumentative tone to his voice this time, just offering a simple explanation. Her next question had him taken aback though, lines in his face growing deeper as he frowned. "What?" he uttered quietly, unsure of the answer to the question. It had slipped without him even realising it. All in all, he was conflicted with the whole mess. Not because he was trying to get rid of her...but because he didn't want to hurt her more, and what was it people said? Once a cheat, always a cheat. Logan liked to believe he was the exception to that phrase but he would be lying if he said it didn't bother him. Are you saying this so I go away? Frown deepening, he instantly shook his head, his mouth dry. "No...never. I would never want you to go. Dan, I -" So close... god, that tear that slid down her cheek was enough to ruin him. "I don't know why I said that. I'm sorry. It was stupid. I don't want you to go away... I love you too much for that to even enter my head."

The battle was over. His shoulders sagged, half relieved but half shattered. Hadn't he got everything he wanted with Danielle? And there he was, almost throwing it away over a silly fight. And it resolved nothing really. Nothing would be resolved until he sorted this all out. Her burden too? Logan didn't see it that way and implied that with the shake of his head but he had no energy to fight back. "I love you too, so much." And he hoped it was enough to convince her they would get through this. Edging closer to her now, he cupped her face in his hands, pressing a kiss to her forehead. Couldn't bear the thought of fucking everything up before they had a chance to truly begin. "I know. I know. Me too. I'll sort it and I'll make it up to you. I promise...I don't want to lose you. Ever, okay?" Words sincere, he pulled back to look into her eyes, ensuring she knew he meant every word. Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her in close for a gentle hug, though maintained a small amount of space in case she didn't want that, but he couldn't just stand there and do nothing when he visibly had upset her. "I'm sorry for today too. I really am, Dani."

[lily-janus]

What I Wish We Can Be

Summary: Logan's story!

Characters: Logan, Fred (OC), Chris (OC), Patton.

Warnings: invasive questions, implied sex (not graphic at all), heavy angst, crying in public, alcohol mentions, internalized aphobia. Lemme know if I missed any.

Word count: 2,350

Woow! Finally done! Ngl this took me a while to write... but it's finished now! I really struggled to portray alloaro folks in the most validating and respectful way possible so I hope I didn't accidently offend anyone💛

P.S: I hope you don't mind me tugging you but this was the WIP I sent that paragraph from for the WIP game @naminethewitch

@aro-sides-week day 5 Aroace/alloaro/non-SAM-aro

...

Logan listened to the other's stories with great interest, everyone finding the term that fits for them in their own way. In Emile's case he was even questioning for years before he found a label that sat right with him.

He had to admit it was quite… inspiring, and a bit comforting if he's being honest, to hear others struggling with this when he originally felt like he was alone in his confusion.

He wonders… Can sharing his own experience  be beneficial in easing his guilt? It's a theory worth testing, afterall, there are numerous studies that show how talking about things to a willing ear can help with processing emotions better.

He nodded decidedly to himself, fixing his glasses before raising his hand to catch Patton's attention.

"Hey there, fellow glasses wearer." Patton smiled at him. "Wanna go up next?" 

"Indeed." He confirmed as he stood up.

"Well then, the floor's yours buddy!" Patton stepped aside from the center, giving Logan space to stand and face everyone.

"I do not wish to own this floor, but I am willing to share my own experience." He cleared his throat, fixed his tie and started his story…

-------------------------------------------------------

"Good morning sleepy-head."

Logan blinked as his mind regained awareness of his surroundings, rubbing his eyes and reaching for his glasses before putting them on and bringing everything into focus.

"Morning" he said simply as he tossed the covers and started getting dressed.

"How'd you sleep? I had a great time last night!" Fred smiled at him from the doorway to the bedroom.

"I slept well, thank you for asking. Last night was indeed quite pleasurable." Logan agreed, slipping his arms into the sleeves of his suit jacket and buttoning it up.

He noticed Fred has gone quiet and looked at him from the corner of his eye, noticing he's staring at him.

Fred noticed him looking and blushed. "Sorry you're just… really pretty."

"Oh um… thank you, you're quite attractive yourself." Logan said as he reached for his tie.

"Oh, let me help you with that, here." Fred walked over taking Logan's tie and standing before him. They locked eyes for a moment before Fred looked down to tie it around Logan's neck.

"You know I… I think I'll like seeing you again." Fred said hesitantly, tightening the knot and smoothing the tie when he's done.

"Are you saying you would like to copulate again?" Logan asked blantly.

Fred flushed. "Um… yeah… amongst… other things…" he stepped away, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

Logan frowned. "Other things?"

Fred sighed. "I'm trying to ask you out on a date… I think I like you and… it'll be nice to know you better." He smiled hopefully at Logan.

Logan stared. "Oh… I…" he wanted to say yes, he did enjoy himself last night and Fred was attractive but… he just couldn't see them going farther, he didn't feel interested in being with Fred in that sense..  but how can he convey that without hurting him?

"Fred." Logan started.

Fred looked up at him hopefully "yeah?"

"I enjoyed myself greatly last night and I can tell you're a very nice guy. I do like the idea of us getting to know each other better just… not in a romantic sense, I apologize." He tried to explain in the nicest way possible.

Fred bit his lip. "Oh… I see. I obviously think you're nice too and in a different context being friends would be nice but… I just think it'll be weird ya know? After we… ya know…" he blushed again at the recollection of last night's events.

He didn't sound too hurt so that's a good sign. "Well then, in that case, it seems our ways will be departing today." Logan said, reaching out his hand for Fred to shake.

Fred stared at the hand then snorted. "Are you always this formal with your hook ups?" He asked jokingly but shook his hand anyway. "Oh ah and…" he walked out of the bedroom for a few minutes before returning with a piece of paper he handed to Logan. "Here's my number in case you change your mind about the dating thing." He winked.

Logan gave him a half smile, taking the phone number and putting it in his pocket. Fred walked him to the door and they waved each other goodbye before he walked out and closed the door behind him.

…

"You did what?" His brother demanded when he finished telling him about this morning.

Logan frowned. "Did I do something wrong?"

His brother stared at him in disbelief. "Wow, okay, let me walk you through what you told me."

"I don't see how walking will help-"

"Just… shut up, listen for a minute. You met a cute and attractive guy who's nice and thinks you're cute too. You hooked up with him, so far so good. Then, in the morning after he asks you out on a date because he wants to get to know you better and he might be developing feelings for you…. And you friend zone him? Have you lost your mind?!" His brother said in disbelief.

Logan's confusion deepened. " 'friend zone him'?"

His brother just groaned in frustration, shaking his head. "You're hopeless bro, why didn't you just say yes?"

"Because I wasn't interested… I don't understand, was I supposed to lie about the way I felt?" Logan tried to understand why his brother was so upset by this

"It's just one date, Lo-bro, how do you know you're not interested if you haven't even given the poor guy a chance?" His brother asked pointedly.

"I just… didn't see him in a romantic sense." Logan shrugged.

"You said you found him attractive!" His brother countered.

"Physically attractive it has nothing to do with romantic feelings and interest, I don't see why this bothers you so much." Logan said truthfully.

His brother sighed. "Bro, how long since you lost your virginity?"

Logan frowned. "10 years? I don't see how this is related-"

"And how many romantic partners have you had since then?" He cut him off.

"None." Logan said. "I don't see how this is-"

"You see why I'm worried about you now?" His brother interjected again.

"Um… no? I don't think I see the issue you seem to see." Logan said honestly.

"Logan… eventually you're going to need to find someone to settle down with and… with the way you're currently handling it… I don't see it happening. I just don't want you to end up like aunt Rose." His brother took his hand and squeezed it gently.

"What's wrong with aunt Rose?" Logan asked, desperately trying to understand.

"Nothing, she's great… she's just over 50 and living alone, you don't want that, do you?" His brother said.

"I mean… maybe not but… is that really that bad? You don't have to be with someone to be happy and aunt Rose looks pretty happy to me." Logan countered.

"Look, I'm just trying to help you so here's what you're going to do, you're going to call Fred and tell him you changed your mind-"

"But-"

"Let me finish, you go on one date with him okay? Just one, see how it feels, if it's nah then just say so and you'll never have to see him again, and if it feels like it might be going somewhere then great! You found your first boyfriend! Deal?" His brother looked at him expectantly.

"I don't know about this, Chris… It feels too much like lying for me to be comfortable with it." Logan hesitated.

"You're gonna have to step out of your comfort zone at least a little if you want to find a boyfriend, bro. It's not like one is going to waltz into your house one day." Chris pointed out. "All I'm asking for is one date."

Logan sighed. "Okay."

…

"Logan! Over here!" Fred waved him over with a smile. "I was so glad you called to change your mind! A little surprised but very glad."

Logan swallowed, he can already tell this is not going to work… but then again, Chris might have a point… he is inexperienced in that regard so maybe he shouldn't judge the situation so quickly..  Besides, it's not like he can turn him down again before the date even started.

He took a deep breath and sat in front of Fred, managing a slight smile. "Yeah I figured it's worth giving this a chance of at least one date..  just to 'test the waters' as the saying goes. Though I'm very inexperienced so this still might not work out." Logan said truthfully.

Fred raised an eyebrow playfully. "One date to win you over? Alright, I'll accept that challenge." He smirked slightly.

Logan chuckled at Fred's charm, he is pretty fun to be around..  Maybe this night will go by well.

After they placed their orders they started conversating. "So what do you work at?" Fred asked curiously. "Wait, wait, lemme guess… you're a teacher! No wait… a lawyer! Eh… something that requires that big vocabulary of yours and those formal ties you wear." Fred chuckled.

Logan smiled. "Close, I'm a professor at the local university here. Nice job, pays well, and I get to educate and lecture people which I always enjoyed since I can remember. What about you?" Logan took a sip from his wine as he waited for Fred's response.

"A professor! Huh… somehow that makes you even hotter." Fred giggled. "My job isn't nearly as impressive… I just own a small bar not far from here." He shrugged.

Logan raised an eyebrow. "Owning your own business is quite the accomplishment, there are not many who will be able to achieve such a thing." 

Fred blushed at the compliment. "Oh… ah, thanks… it's just a bar… I just like making people happy, you know? Help them let loose for a while… everyone needs that from time to time."

Logan nodded. "Indeed they do. Do you happen to have any good wine there?" He asked with interest, perhaps he can pay this place a visit sometime.

Fred's face brightened as he nodded. "Oh yeah! We have almost every kind of alcohol you can think of! I like to appeal to as many people as possible so I…" Fred happily chatted about his bar, how he trains his bartenders in making almost any drink out there and even encouraging them to make up their own.

Logan smiled as he nodded through his rumblings, being with Fred just felt so easy and effortless… he desperately wished he could feel those romantic feelings everyone keeps telling him about so their relationship can work in a way that appealed to the both of them… but those stubbornly stayed out of reach.

Fred already mentioned his disinterest in a platonic connection with Logan after their sexual encounter, so if Logan can't recipicate his romantic feelings towards him… they'll have to say goodbye…

"...You should come and see it, drinks are on the house." Fred winked at him, reaching a hand to grab Logan's and gently rub over his knuckles with his thumb, looking up at him with a bright blush. "...Perhaps on our next date?" He asked hopefully.

And it was the morning after their copulating all over again… but somehow way worse, because now he cared about him even more and wanted to keep seeing him… just - frustratingly so - not romantically like he does.

"Um…" Logan hesitated, how can he turn him down now?

"I get this might be scary since it's your first time but… now I know I really like you, Logan and… we can take it slow okay?" Fred's hand was still holding his and he gave it a light squeeze, smiling softly.

"I'm sorry I-" the waiter suddenly arrived with their check and Logan quickly grabbed it before Fred had a chance, glad for the momentary distraction as he put the credit card inside and handed it back to the waiter.

Fred's hopeful eyes were still on him. Logan's heart ached as he opened his mouth to say no to this sweet guy he wishes he could fall in love with. "I'm really sorry I just don't-" the words got stuck in his throat.

The waiter handed his credit card back to him with a receipt and Logan quickly snatched it and stood up.

"Logan?" Fred frowned at him with concern.

He needed space… he needed to think… he can't think…

His breath quickened. "I'm just… really busy…" he stammered and he was bolting away from there before he even realized it, only stopping when his legs couldn't carry him anymore and he leaned on a nearby wall, panting heavily.

-------------------------------------------------------

Logan didn't realize he was crying until Patton wiped his tears gently.

He backed away, embarrassed, furiously wiping his tears on his own. "I… I didn't have the courage to reach out to him again after that… he's probably better off without me anyway…" Logan struggled to finish the story and regain whatever little composure he had left.

"For the longest time I felt like I'm such a shallow 'jerk' who only likes people for their bodies I… I didn't know about… all the different kinds of attractions or how people can feel and not feel some of them… I didn't know what aromantic was or allosexual I just… felt broken and… guilty…" 

Logan took a deep, calming breath, skimming through the faces looking back at him. Patton rubbed his shoulders gently in a comforting gesture.

"Hey, it's okay, I promise. Like I keep saying, this stuff is very confusing, thank you so much for sharing." He smiled sweetly at him. "Do you want to go back to your seat? Drink some water?"

Logan took another deep breath and nodded, going over to the table with water bottles behind the circle and taking one before sitting back at his seat. Feeling emotionally worn but also… relieved.

He supposes his original theory was correct then, a fact that made him smile slightly as he awaited the next person to speak up. 

[no-need-to-demonstrate]

Sanders Sides doing Easter Egg Hunts

Logan

-Sticks his eggs in the blue dye and leaves them there

-Puts stars stickers on them when no one is looking

-Actually finds a lot of eggs

-Doesn't want the eggs to get lost during the hunt

-Does a good job at tracking the eggs' hiding spots

-Finds little to no merit in Easter egg hunts

-Is secretly good at dying eggs

Patton

-Loves decorating eggs

-Uses stickers, dye, sharpies, and pretty much any medium to decorate them

-Gives everyone bunny ears

-Easter egg hunts are his favorite! They remind him of Thomas' childhood

-They really all just do it for Patton

Roman

-Rainbow dye

-Tons of glitter

-Will make his eggs prettier than yours

-Makes cute Easter baskets

-Battles Remus to the death over finding the most eggs

-Will find more eggs than you

-Makes deviled eggs afterwards

-Also likes stickers

Virgil

-Doesn't care too much about Easter

-His eggs look like Tim Burton threw them up

-Suffers greatly with the pastel dye

-His eggs actually look pretty cool

-Hides the eggs in easy-to-see-impossible to-grab places. They get harder every year

-Will hide eggs in his pockets to make it tricky

Janus

-Loves hiding eggs, but no one can find them

-Would swallow an egg whole if dared to, bet on, or paid

-Would rather hide the eggs than look for them

-Watches Remus look for his eggs for him and they split up the dividends

-Is offended, for some reason, that they dye the 'casing of the unborn'

-The eggs are unfertilized and hard boiled

Remus

-Thou shalt not mention Remus' behavior on Easter

-You can imagine what he would decorate his eggs with

-Drinks the dye

-Eats plastic grass

-His egg hiding spots are... interesting

-He and Janus make an egg-hiding dynamic duo

-Actually gets the eggs that Virgil hides

-Would use dynamite

[maybedefinitely404]

Not Your Typical

Genre: college AU, hurt/comfort (kind of?)

Pairings: romantic Demus, Logicality, and Prinxiety

Content: some language, autistic character, sensory overload, mentions of losing friends in the past, anxiety, unintentional self harm, Roman is kind of a jerk but he regrets it, food mentions, unable to eat certain consistencies, beach/water/swimming, Janus being a disaster gay, ASL, selective mutism.

Word count: 6k

Comments: Like always, I don’t intend for these to be so long. Holy cow.

Janus is written based mostly on my experiences as someone with autism, and how it’s affected my childhood/relationships/daily life. No one’s experience is the same.

Janus was always alone. Alone, not lonely. 

Most of the time, that is. 

His whole childhood was an endless cycle of make a friend, weird them out, be alone. Find another friend, weird them out, be alone. And sometimes it hurt, yeah, but he got used to it. At home, he spent the entire day in his room, assembling structures out of legos before tearing them down and starting over. Sometimes he’d build something really cool, and that would stay up for a long time. He didn’t have any siblings, and his parents didn’t give a whoop as long as the floor was generally clear, so no one ever bothered the space ships or towers or just really long lines that stretched from one wall to the other. He liked those. 

Things changed when he got to middle school. Life started getting real, people became more than just recess friends, and that unsettled him. He made a couple close friends, friends that he really opened up to only for them to leave him when he became too much. He just couldn’t help it though; he couldn’t help the way he bounced when he got so excited he couldn’t breathe, or how he couldn’t use words when he got overwhelmed by the touch and the noise, or how he couldn’t stop talking about his favorite shows or books. He was labeled as childish. It was like a label had been stuck to his chest that read “avoid at all costs”, and people did. 

So he relearned how to be alone. He put a lava lamp next to his bed for when he needed something constant to look at, he got a collection of chewy necklaces and stim toys that never left his room. After a lot of research, he convinced his parents to buy him a weighted blanket for when every touch was too light, too agonizingly light, and he needed something firm to ground him. At school, or really around anyone, he learned to control his more obvious stimming and touch sensitivity by staying in oversized sweaters and jeans. He taught himself basic sign language for when he couldn’t talk, even though he knew his parents wouldn’t understand him. They took forever to learn basic signs, for ‘water’ or ‘quiet’ or ‘no’, and both eventually got frustrated and gave up. As if their frustration was anything compared to his. 

It was going great, not perfect but better than before, until he graduated high school. Suddenly he realized he was about to move halfway across the country, to a new environment with new triggers and new people who didn’t understand that he wasn’t frowning because he was pissed, but because smiling when you didn’t understand the reasoning was exhausting. Why do people smile and greet you when they enter the room? Why couldn’t that be more of an… understood thing? I’m here, you’re here now, we both know that, so why bring so much attention to it? For once his parents were kind enough to help him out, taking him to the campus during the summer to get acquainted with the surroundings and learn the map by heart. He talked to the admission’s counselor, explaining his disability and why that meant he couldn’t be on the side of campus near the highway, because the constant noise and common sirens would make him explode. They were eventually able to move him to one of the other buildings, one with apartments instead of dorms, even though that was generally only for third and fourth years. It took a load off his shoulders; less noise, less people. The one thing he couldn’t do was meet his roommates before the year started. 

The school got them into contact, and since he was the last to be assigned to the six person pod, they added him into their pre-established group chat. The other five already had nicknames, ranging from ‘Dad’ to ‘Rat Bastard’, and he immediately felt like an outsider. Not like that was new to him, though. Except, he didn’t stay like that. When one of the group, ‘Nerdy Mcnerd’ on the chat (he’d long forgotten their actual names), asked him what he liked and he immediately sent a list of special interests and hyperfixations, the top being snakes, it was like a door had been opened. Nerdy Mcnerd was a fan of space as well, and the two stayed up until all hours of night on their own chat discussing space and their place in the universe. Rat Bastard had an affinity for what people would categorize as “creepy animals”; octopi and squid, spiders, star-nosed moles, and most importantly, snakes. Their conversations mostly involved dopey pictures of snakes and unintelligible key smashes and emojis. Emo Disaster shared his love of darker themed TV shows, and they started a couple new ones at the same time, constantly updating each other with theories. When he mentioned his major was psychology, Dad was immediately overjoyed to be sharing the major with someone, and offered to help him study for the harder classes. He didn’t hit it off quite so well with Princey, who was put off by Janus’ so called “moodiness” and didn’t trust him. 

When they finally met, it was supposed to be great. Janus knew the environment, somewhat knew his roommates, and was surprisingly excited for the new year. His joy was suddenly vanquished, however, as meeting these people face to face took a turn for the worse. Dad, Patton, immediately tried to go for the hug when he walked into the apartment for the first time, and was slightly taken aback when Janus reared back so hard he hit his head on the wall. The glee disappeared and he apologized profusely, and that’s when Nerdy Mcnerd, Logan walked in, explaining that Patton was very physical. They were over it rather quickly, but Janus shuddered as soon as the other two turned to each other. They had already claimed one of the three rooms for themselves, so Janus chose the one furthest into the apartment. He dropped his suitcases next to one of the two beds with a deep sigh. The thought of a hug… no. It unsettled him greatly, made his skin crawl. Maybe one day, but not now. 

Emo Disaster and Princey, Virgil and Roman, arrived later in the day, hand in hand, bickering animatedly when they walked into the apartment. They were greeted with a huge hug from Patton and a side hug from Logan, and that’s when Janus recalled that they had all been roommates the year prior and again, felt a small tinge of pain. He was still the odd one out. Virgil gave a two finger salute to where Janus was sitting curled up on one of the bar stools, knees pulled to his chest and for the first time, Janus didn’t feel compelled to give a forced smile in greeting. It was a relief. The small nod was all that was needed. Roman however, was a different story. When they happened to make eye contact for the first time, the taller man still standing in the doorway, Janus flinched. Hard. The man’s eyes burned through him, as if scouring through his brain, eyes so full of passion that Janus had to look away. Eye contact was only an issue for him sometimes, but with Roman, it physically hurt. Which only made the theatre major more suspicious of him. As he passed him on the way to get a glass of water, the taller man blurted out, “You’re a first year, why are you in a third year building?”, earning him a gentle smack from Virgil. He answered with a lame shrug and rushed back to his room, conceding to just go to sleep, regretting leaving his drink on the counter. 

No one besides Janus was surprised when the door burst open at three am and a loud voice screamed, “I’M BACK, FUCKERS!” He was frozen in place, woken with such an adrenaline rush that he couldn’t move. Outside, the other four exited their rooms with varying levels of annoyance and delight, greeting the final member of the group. Remus, as Janus heard them proclaim, was his roommate, the only two dwellers not in a relationship. The gremlin burst into the room, a deranged smile on his face, and Janus wanted to cry. Why did he have to be stuck in a room with the loud one? But Remus saw the mismatched eyes poking out from under the blanket and with no hesitation, sunk to the floor next to the bed, still smiling but a million decimals softer. 

“Hey, Snakey. Sorry to scare ya. I’m Remus, but you can still call me Rat Bastard if you want. Call me whatever, I don’t really get offended. You go back to sleep, I’m gonna get settled in. We can talk in the morning.”

Janus wasn’t planning to fall asleep, not with this new person in his room, but Remus was shockingly silent as he unloaded his things (he packed a bunch of garbage bags, not even a suitcase or box), and he couldn’t help the way his eyes slipped shut. 

First semester came to a close, and he was equally delighted and horrified that everyone was staying on campus for break. It had become harder and harder for him to avoid movie nights, or family dinners (as Patton called them), or days they all went into town together. In the beginning, he put it off to being tired. Then, studying for exams. Now with school halted for nearly a month, he was out of excuses. It was getting to the point where he could feel the frustration from his roommates, and he wanted to admit how much he wanted to spend time with them, until his drawer full of secret stim toys and chewy necklaces called him back. At times, he let himself spend time with them. Baked something with Patton, talked about the stars with Logan, sat with Virgil as they studied, and it was good. He never was able to escape Roman’s cynical glares that made him absolutely shudder, but he got on much better with his twin. 

Remus never minded if Janus only greeted him with a raised eyebrow, and he was okay to have more one sided conversations while Janus drew, or after a few weeks, stared unapologetically. Because god, there was so much about Remus that Janus couldn’t help but watch, even if a normal person would get uncomfortable by his wide and unblinking eyes. Luckily, Remus was no ordinary person. But the younger still kept the drawer to himself, only allowing himself to nom on the plastic or squeeze the orbeez filled squishy snake with intense fascination when he was alone. So every time he was with the others and felt the need to stim or infodump or was about to have a stress induced meltdown, he would excuse himself and leave without so much of a goodbye. He couldn’t, not in front of them. Every time he left, he could hear Roman’s quiet remarks about him that stung more than he wanted to admit. 

He’d had so many people leave, people he allowed himself to get close to, only for them to see the side of himself he tried to hide. In his heart, he knew that part of him wasn’t bad. It was just him. Other people didn’t understand that, though. No matter how much he tried to convince himself that no one would judge him, or laugh at him because they weren’t like that, he was scared. The effort was wearing him thin, and it came to the point where he realized he had to tell them. He had to, or he would burst, and that would be way worse.

It was just three little words: I. Am. Autistic. And he’d explain everything, tell them about his stims and limits and how he needed space sometimes and hugs others, and spill everything about himself, and they’d accept him. They’d have to, right? Only, the night he was planning to blurt out the truth, something stopped him. 

They were eating dinner, one of the only ones he’d attended in a while. Patton kept glancing at him from across the table as he picked half heartedly at his lasagna, distracted from the lively conversation between the twins and Virgil. The whole thing was speckled with bite sized pieces of mushrooms and zucchini, two of the foods that he couldn’t eat to save his life. The texture made him want to recoil into himself and scream and yank at his hair, and he’d learned early in life that that wasn’t a normal response to food. He wanted to explain to Patton that it wasn’t the meal itself he was avoiding, that it wasn’t Patton’s cooking that he didn’t like, it was just the texture of those two things. 

Well, maybe that was a good gateway into his big announcement, if you could even call it that. It felt almost as scary as his coming out to his parents had been. If they didn’t take this well, he might be exiled from the group. If they tried to put up with them, they’d get irritated so quickly and slowly freeze him out. He really didn’t want that. It needed to happen though, he realized. How much worse would it be if one of them walked in on him having a meltdown, holding a pillow over his mouth to block his screams, biting almost animalistically on a necklace? How unsettled would they be if they saw him hitting his blanket pile out of repulsion of the feeling of his textbook pages? Better to warn them ahead of time. It was only luck that had gotten him this far.

Just as he opened his mouth to speak, Logan hit the table with the heel of his hand and let out an almost guttural scream before storming into his and Patton’s room, slamming the door behind him. Janus nearly fell backwards off his chair, matching Virgil’s surprised expression. Roman went silent, wincing slightly.

“What…” It was the first word he’d said the entire meal. Patton whipped his head towards him as if he’d forgotten he was there, a sudden sympathetic look on his face. He gave a weak smile.

“Sorry about that, kiddo. Logan has autism, sometimes he can’t handle the stimulus around him. Or maybe he just had a rougher day than I thought. I’ll check on him after dinner, give him some alone time.”

Logan has autism.

Logan has autism. 

Oh my god.

It was like everything clicked into place. His passionate talk about topics he was interested in that could rival Janus’ (if he would ever let himself infodump like he wanted). His mannerisms, his occasional emotional outbursts, his rigorous unbreakable schedule, it all made sense. For a brief second, Janus was elated. Someone like him, someone who understood! And if they accepted Logan, maybe they would be able to understand him, even if they presented different areas of the spectrum. 

But… how would that look? Janus had hidden away his neurodivergent traits for so long, repressed them until he felt like he would literally explode… what if they thought he was faking it? It’s not like they knew him well, not with the amount of time he avoided being around them. They might think he was lying to get attention, didn’t want to be left out. Wanted to be special.

Patton seemed to be waiting for a response, he noted. He gave a curt nod, hoping it displayed that he was unbothered by Logan’s disability, before giving a stupid excuse about some reading to finish over break and darting back to his room. Remus joined him later, saying nothing about the fact that Janus was huddled under his weighted blanket, no book in sight. He sat down in front of the bed, a common habit of his now, and began to quietly talk about some new dark fantasy story he was designing, his lilting voice soothing Janus to sleep.

Time passed, winter came and went, and the end of second semester was drawing near. Janus was still careful with the way he presented to the others. They had picked up that he didn’t like physical contact, and though they never said a word about it, Patton’s lasagna recipe shifted, kept changing, until it no longer included mushrooms and zucchini. Janus refused to believe it was for his sake, though. He tried to join them for a couple movie nights, but the constant fear of stimming made his anxiety spike, therefore finding the need to stim more compelling, until he had to leave. It was getting harder, however, now that it was that pleasant in-between time where he understood how his new profs worked but it wasn’t exam season yet. His excuses were dwindling. Like always, Roman made his stupid quips that hurt him more than was probably intended, and he’d finally had enough. 

Maybe that’s why he was staring out at the open lake in front of him, hands playing absentmindedly with the hem of his shirt as Patton and Remus squealed, sprinting into the water without a second thought. One of their shirts had landed on Janus’ sandaled foot, and he quickly kicked it off as the light touch began to irritate him. Logan stood to his side, watching his boyfriend with an almost imperceivable smile. 

“You guys could have helped carry stuff if you were just going to stand there!” Roman’s indignant voice carried over the lawn, muffled slightly by the pile of towels he was carrying. Virgil snorted, whether in agreement or at Princey’s expense, Janus didn’t know. Either way, he dumped his handful of lawn chairs unceremoniously onto the lawn at their feet. 

“You two set these up then. I’m hot, I’m going swimming.”

“Damn right, you are,” Roman grinned. Virgil raised an eyebrow.

“Damn right I’m hot, or I’m going swimming?”

“Yes.” He didn’t give any of them a second to retort, scooping up a shrieking Virgil before sprinting them both into the water. 

“They didn’t even take their shirts off,” Logan commented, picking up a chair from the pile and unfolding it. Janus quickly joined in, helping him set the four chairs into a line and placing the towels down in front of them. “Did you want to go swimming?”

Admittedly, Janus hadn’t actually gone swimming, much less to the beach, since he was a kid. He was lucky to have even found a swimsuit amongst his other barely worn clothing; how it had snuck into his suitcase, he didn’t know. The water looked inviting and it was hot, but right now he was exhausted from the long ride over in Remus’ truck, having to refrain from plugging his ear when it got too loud or maintain his breathing carefully when a leg touched his.

“Maybe in a bit. I’m kind of tired.”

Logan turned to look at him, dare he say scrutinizingly? He washed the expression away quickly, asking, “Would you like me to stay with you?”

“No, it’s okay,” Janus mumbled, “You go have fun. I’ll be fine, I like the quiet.” As if to punctuate his point, a child screamed from the playground, making them both flinch.

“Are you positive?”

“Yes. Go enjoy yourself, Logan.”

He nodded curtly, pulling his shirt over his head in one fluent motion and walking towards the waves professionally, as if he were walking towards a lecture. Patton cheered from the water.

Janus didn’t concern himself with the time as it passed, instead letting his mind wander while he focused on a line of ants that were crawling up a tree next to him. It wasn’t until a fast approaching form caught his attention did he tear his eyes away, hearing him give a shout of “Be right back!”.

Remus plopped himself onto the towel next to him, still panting from the run, but grinning from ear to ear. As he ripped open a water bottle and drank greedily, Janus couldn’t help but stare. Water glistened on his skin like jewels in the afternoon sun, plastering his hair down over his jaw and eyes. His eyelashes were barely fluttering against his cheekbones as he guzzled nearly half of the bottle, his adam’s apple bobbing with each swallow. The jut of his shoulder, almost touching his throat, taking his weight as he leaned back on his arm… the whole thing was fascinating. People interested Janus as a whole; the way they functioned, how they seamlessly picked up on little cues from others that Janus was still in the process of figuring out, even down to intricate biology of cells was incredibly captivating. But Remus was so much more than that. His voice when he spoke him to sleep, never mentioning it the next day, the way his dark eyes glimmered with hope when Janus agreed to eat with them, the twitch of his moustache as he covered a laugh at Patton’s corny jokes. 

He was art, plain and simple. 

Janus didn’t know if what he felt was romantic attraction. It sure felt like it, except it had never felt quite like this before. It wasn’t that he was asexual or anything, he was actually decently far from it. It was just how uncomfortable most physical contact made him that gave him the idea he might never have a partner in the way that he wanted. He wanted to hold hands, to cuddle, to kiss… but at the same time, he didn’t. That is, he didn’t know how he’d handle it. Sure, he’d had crushes in the past, cute boys from his classes or celebrities in the shows he hyperfixated on, and still the feeling of uncertainty had stayed. With Remus, something was different though. Never before had a crush ever felt so breath stealing, chest clenching, awe inspiring-

“Like what you see?” 

Janus flinched, realizing Remus had finished drinking and was beaming at him with that stupid gorgeous gleam in his eyes. He looked at his lap immediately, feeling his face heat up. 

“Sorry.” 

“Not a problem,” Remus smirked, having the audacity to wink at him before standing up. “I’m going back in. Coming?” He reached out his hand, hopeful. Janus took a breath, acknowledging that this was his first time initiating contact since he’d arrived, and grabbed Remus’ hand. The surprise on the other’s face was almost enough to make him laugh. He pulled the younger to his feet, keeping a firm hold in Janus’ hand. And… that was okay. 

Until it wasn’t. 

The second his feet touched the sand, it was like alarm bells exploded behind his eyes. He couldn’t describe it, but it felt wrong. It gave in too much, light sprinkles of sand covered the top of his feet and instantly every nerve was on high alert. He ripped his hand from Remus’, stumbling backwards onto the grass again. The elder spun to him with concern.

“Snakey? What happened?”

“I- hmm, no. I can’t. Nope. No no no. Wrong. It… hmmmm. Can’t.” The last word dragged out as his brain seemed to disconnect from his mouth. His mind didn’t work, so focused on how every blade of grass was swiping along his soles too softly, too gentle, too much. His hands had curled into fists and he was fighting against everything inside him to scream bloody murder, because oh god the wind was brushing the hair onto the back of his neck and it tickled and make it stop make it stop!

Janus could vaguely hear someone shout, and the loudness floored him. Get away, get away, it’s too much it’s too much. The feeling of the grass was gone, and he was sitting on his beach towel, but the wind was still brushing his hair too much, so he grabbed at it uselessly, begging it to stop, stop, stop. 

“What’s happening?” Roman.

“Is he okay?” Patton.

“Does he look okay?” Virgil.

“Janus, breathe. You’re safe.” Logan.

 Yeah, he knew that. He knew, objectively, that the wind isn’t out to get him and grass doesn’t hurt and sand isn’t supposed to fry your nerves. That didn’t change the fact that it did for him. Somewhere in the back of his mind, it connected that they were seeing him have a meltdown, finally. But he couldn’t focus on that, not when someone was touching his arm why are they touching my arm LET GO! 

He screamed now, he couldn’t hold it back anymore. His breaths were ragged and gaspy, hands ripping at his hair to try and stop the fluttering strands. Then there was a new sound, an engine, a boat, and with it came the deep bass of some terrible music and there were people shouting and his head was hurting, why was it hurting so bad?! New hands grabbed his wrists and he writhed, pulling back from the grip that was pulling his fists away from where they’d been hitting his skull, over and over, trying to just get his stupid brain to work. Come back to the present, ground yourself, do SOMETHING!

And then something was in his hands. 

His eyes peeled open (when had he shut them?) and he saw the dark blue stress ball, almost crushed between his fingers. The hands were gone from his wrist, and he took a deep breath, relaxing his hand and watching the slime filled toy slowly return to its natural shape. It was just like one from his drawer, the first stim toy he’d ever gotten. Familiarity. He kneaded it under his fingers, enjoying the comforting texture, the color soothing to his sensitive eyes. Bit by bit he felt himself relax, still holding the toy inches from his face between stiff hands, letting his legs unfurl. Without thinking, he raised a shaking hand to his chin and did the sign for ‘water’, and immediately regretted it. It was just such a habit around his parents, the only other people who had seen him break down to this extent, how could he be so-

He flinched as a water bottle was pressed into his raised hand, the lid already taken off. The water was so good, settling his senses and grounding him, like he’d been in hyperfocus before and it was dulled now. He gave the stress ball another squeeze, captivated by the way the slime moved, not even flinching as someone snapped in front of him.

Looking up for the first time, his first instinct was to crawl into a hole and die. Logan was sitting in front of him, slowly putting the cap back on his water bottle before handing it back to Patton, who was standing just behind him. Roman and Virgil had begun packing the chairs and bags agonizingly slowly and quietly. Impressive; they were almost done and he hadn’t noticed until now. He turned to his left and his heart completely shattered. Remus was sitting statue still, a few feet away, with a look of pure fear in his eyes. He sat on the edge of his knees, like he wanted to pounce forward and hug him but was holding himself back. He appreciated that. 

Logan snapped again and Janus turned back.

‘Better?’ He signed slowly. 

‘You know sign?’ Janus responded weakly, confused. 

‘Patton too. I go nonverbal as well. Are you okay?’

The younger nodded, returning his hands to the stim toy on his lap. ‘Yours?’

‘Yes.’

“Is he okay?” Remus whispered suddenly, drawing their attention. He looked so scared, like anything could break Janus and he was scared he would cause it. Oh. Did he think he caused this?

‘Not his fault.’

Logan looked between the two, a look of confusion settling in his face. “What?”

‘Not. His. Fault.’ He signed sharply, a frustrated hum emitting from the back of his throat. ‘Not his fault!’

“Remus, he’s saying it’s not your fault. What does that mean?”

“I- I took his hand, and then this happened…” Remus started, leaning back onto his feet ashamedly, “If that wasn’t the cause, what was?” 

‘Sand.’

Logan’s eyes filled with understanding, and he responded, ‘Sand?’ as if to double check that he got the right sign. Janus nodded again, slightly thankful for the mute state he was in. He wouldn’t be able to explain this as well as Logan would. 

“If I’m understanding right, then my first assumptions were correct. Janus, did you just experience a sensory overload?”

Janus could only nod, meeting his eyes shakily. This is the moment. Now is his segway. If Logan wasn’t already suspicious, he surely was now. And he’d rather not have to explain, or come up with some half assed excuse if he was confronted later on why sinking his foot into sand had made him break. 

 ‘I’m autistic.’ He fingerspelled it, not knowing what the sign was, or if there even was one. There was a beat of silence, the twins and Virgil exchanging puzzled looks, and Janus couldn’t even bear to look at the two people who would have understood. All his fears came rushing back. Would they think he was lying, or seeking attention, or or or-

“Oh, sweetie,” Patton crooned, sitting cross legged beside Logan, “We thought maybe… well, the possibility came up in conversation before. Lo was the one who brought it up.”

“Yes. Though our experiences differ, you seemed to exhibit symptoms that are common to the ASD spectrum. I thought it feasible, but did not wish to offend or frighten you by mentioning it.”

“We thought that if you were autistic, it would be yours to tell us,” Patton smiled softly. 

“Wait,” Remus interrupted, “Janus, you have autism?”

Janus’ nervous glance up must have been enough to clue the rest of the group in, because Roman sighed and ducked his head into Virgil’s shoulder while Logan messily signed something which roughly translated to ‘how dense can someone be’. Jan couldn’t tell if it was a joke or not, but he cracked a smile anyways.

“Shit. Dude, I’m so sorry,” Roman murmured into Virgil’s shirt, “All the times I made fun of you for not joining us or anything, that was way out of line. I truly apologize.”

The youngest gave him the worldwide gesture for ‘it’s okay’; not exactly ASL, but it got his point across. Everything was packed up now, and Janus realized the implications.

‘Home?’ He asked Logan, eyebrows scrunched together.

‘Yes. You need to rest.’ He was right, he was exhausted. Getting to his feet along with Patton and Logan, he reached down to grab his towel, only for it to be promptly swooped up by Roman.

“I… I got it. Don’t worry about it. Okay?”

As soon as Roman turned his back, Janus couldn’t help his heavy sigh. This was another reason he had refrained from telling anyone. He didn’t want to be seen as a burden, or worse, a child. He didn’t need help with menial tasks like grabbing a towel. Virgil and him lifted all the belongings again, with less complaining this time, and began the short trek to the truck.

‘He’s not babying you,’ Logan signed, as if reading his mind, ‘He’s just guilty. If you want my advice, get as much out of it as you can.’

“Logan!” Patton chastised, failing miserably at hiding a smirk.                            

“Guys?” Remus’ uncharacteristically timid voice prompted them to turn back, “Could I talk to Janus for a sec?”

“You understand he is unable to speak at the moment, correct?” Logan raised an eyebrow, probably coming off more harsh than he meant to. 

“I know. Just… please?”

The other two shared a knowing look that Janus didn’t understand, before Logan turned to Janus. “Is that okay?”

The youngest nodded, watching over his shoulder as the lovebirds joined hands, leaving him and Remus alone. When he met his eyes again, he was standing much closer, eyes searching nervously.

“Maybe this will actually be easier since you can’t talk,” he laughed, before his face fell dramatically, “Fuck, that’s not what I meant. I’m such an idiot, I didn’t mean-”

Janus held up a hand quickly, as if to say ‘it’s fine, settle down’, holding back a snicker. He’d understand if someone was upset by the comment, but he’d learn to take Remus’ jokes lightly. He never meant to actually offend, sometimes he just… blurted without intending to. He rolled his finger in a ‘keep going’ motion.

“Shit. Okay,” He’d never seen Remus blush, or stumble over his words before. Not like this, at least, “Now, don’t feel obligated to say you feel the same or anything, okay? This is just, my feelings, and mine alone,” A deep breath, “I like you, Snakey. I like you a lot. More than… more than a friend.”

Oh.

Oh.

Janus was ninety percent sure he died right then and there. But Remus kept going, tripping over his words in a way that was so unlike him, and yet so perfect.

“I have for a while. I never said anything because I thought, maybe you disliked me? After today though, I think… well, maybe I was misinterpreting those signals. Like I misinterpreted today. That you didn’t want to be around me, no matter how hard I tried.”

Okay, Janus took it back. He wanted to be able to talk now, but his voice came out as another low hum, and he slapped his hand over his mouth, embarrassed. Remus pressed on, unfazed. 

“Snakey, I swear to you, that you having autism doesn’t change those feelings at all. It’s not a bad thing, or a flaw, it’s just you. And everything about you is amazing, and perfect, and this is just another thing I get to learn about you. Any fears you had around telling us, telling me, you don’t need to have them.”

He’d never felt this kind of feeling before. In that second, he knew for a fact that this wasn’t a crush that he had on Remus. That wasn’t possible, because a crush had never made him want to break his social barriers like this. A crush had never made him want to make an exception, to stand on his tip toes and kiss him, even if the thought of a new touch usually caused goosebumps to rise on his arms. Because he felt so safe, so blissfully numb, so comfortable with Remus, that he’d be willing to give it a try.

This wasn’t a crush. This was-

“I love you,” Remus whispered, his statement accompanied by a large shaky breath.

He couldn’t say it back, not right now. Later, he would. For sure. Maybe a hundred times. So he did what he’d never thought possible and took that step forward, breaking his bubble that he’d always thought to be unbreakable. 

It’s okay. You’re okay. This is okay. 

For once, he actually believed it.

Janus reached a hand up, slowly, and rested it on Remus’ face. It wasn’t light, he couldn’t do half touches. It was solid, warm, real. Not a tickling touch that made him twitch, or a brush by that stole the very breath from his lungs. The positive response affirmed his will power, and he leaned up onto his tip toes. Remus looked absolutely stunned, but he didn’t pull away, he couldn’t if he tried. His breath caught in his throat as the elder glanced down, an unmistakable look to his lips.

Had Remus always had those green flecks in his eyes?

And he kissed him. Janus surged forward, pressing their lips together harsher than he’s intended, pulling a small gasp out of Remus. There was a whoop from the vague direction of where they’d parked, followed by a loud smack, and Janus couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips.

Remus’ hands were clasped at his chest, unmoving, probably afraid that if he touched Janus wrong, this would all be over. He’d have to explain half touches later. For now, he took one of his hands in his free one and guided it around, pushing it into the small of his back until Remus got the message to keep that pressure. He let out a small sigh through his nose, an action that sent a new round of butterflies exploding in the younger’s stomach.

This is okay. 

This is all going to be okay.

[delimeful]

cut clean from the dream (3/3)

Part 1 | Part 2

warnings: fear, misunderstandings, small head injury (only a little one)

-

Patton hovered at the roof of the shady-looking human store, occasionally sticking his head over the ledge to peer through the dusty display windows.

He’d come all this way, past what felt like hundreds of sprawling human cities, and now the only thing between him and the next step to finding his best friend was one measly wall. His cloaking magic had served him well so far, but being invisible wouldn’t help him walk through solid surfaces.

And getting in there was vital. The dark blue life-trail that he’d been tailing for so long had led him to this doorstep, and hadn’t emerged again. He was exhausted from using such powerful magic for such a long time, but he wasn’t going to stop now! He would stay right on this roof until he found Logan, or at least a sign as to where the fairy had been taken from here.

‘You can’t help anyone if you pass out from magic exhaustion,’ a tiny voice in the back of his mind that sounded an awful lot like Logan reminded him. He bit his lip, considering for a moment finding a tree to hole up and recover in.

At that very moment, a human in a bright jacket turned the corner, striding towards the store with purpose. Patton’s wings twitched as his determination renewed. He wouldn’t pass up this opportunity!

As soon as the stranger pulled the door open to enter, Patton invisibly dove past, any sound he might have made obscured by the small, ringing bell that the open door had triggered. The stranger’s nose twitched briefly, but neither him nor the shopkeep seemed to track Patton’s movement, so he hurried along to the rickety shelves.

There were all sorts of strange bits and bobs, some of which looked alarmingly fae-like, but no Logan. Against the advice of that little voice— one he was beginning to suspect was his common sense— he cast the tracking spell again, and found a heavy collection of deep indigo life-trail on one empty spot on a shelf. There was a ring in the dust, leftover from a container that must have been big enough for Logan to fit in.

But he wasn’t here now. And whatever had taken him, it had strong enough magic to cloak his life-trail entirely.

The air sprite felt his spirits sink as he realized that he had truly lost his only lead.

Then, he felt his stomach sink as there was a yell from the nearby shopkeep. He realized that the magic drain had caused his invisibility to flicker right out, leaving him hovering there clear as day.

He backpedaled immediately, but there was no breeze to aid him in the stagnant store, and before he could get out of range, thick fingers were closing around him, crushing his wings to his back painfully. He cried out, but the grip didn’t loosen.

“What in the world did you get out of, you little--”

“Hey!” An indignant yell made the furious mutterings of the man holding him come to a pause. The stranger in the bright coat stood at the head of the aisle, frowning severely.

The shopkeep’s tone immediately turned customer-service pleasant. “Just one moment, sir, I’m simply dealing with some loose merchandise--”

“Excuse me?” the stranger cut him off, expression only growing more offended. “That is not your merchandise, that is my… my emotional support sprite!”

What?

“What?” the shopkeep echoed Patton’s thoughts, looking bewildered. The stranger walked over with purposeful steps, holding a hand out in demand.

“My property, if you will. If I’d known you were so callous with other people’s belongings, I wouldn’t have chosen here to browse.” The stranger stuck his nose in the air haughtily.

This seemed to snap the shopkeep out of his fugue, and he hurriedly dropped Patton onto the other man’s hand. “My apologies, sir, though I do ask that in the future you keep a closer eye on your… pet.”

Patton had tried to catch himself as soon as he began freefalling, but his wings were still crumpled, and it was only a short distance to the other human’s hand. As soon as he landed, fingers curled up around him, one keeping his leg pinned to the palm. He tried to wriggle free anyhow, and received another hand cupped over him for his efforts.

Above him, the stranger sniffed once and then turned on his heel and walked right out of the store. Patton breathed a sigh of relief; back out in the fresh air. Once this human let his guard down, all he would have to do was summon a slight breeze and catch a lift away on it. Provided his magic wasn’t too taxed for such a task.

The stranger walked rather quickly for another few moments, and then turned sharply into an alley. Patton looked up with wide eyes as the hands around him unfolded, revealing a face with bright red eyes that seemed surprisingly… concerned? The stranger let out a long breath of relief, and then started speaking rapidfire.

“I am so, so, so sorry about that,” the stranger said, flattening his hands out so that there was nothing stopping Patton from standing. He did so, but curiosity kept him from immediately fluttering away. That, and his wings. “I just needed him to let go of you, I promise I don’t think of you as anything less than the person you are, please don’t be afraid.”

“You-- huh?” Patton replied, eloquently. The stranger smiled with oddly sharp teeth.

“Sorry, let me start over. I’m Roman, and you are?”

“Um, Patton!” he offered, still a bit thrown off. A moment ago, he’d been sure he was going to end up as part of a potion, and now he was… free? Maybe? He subtly started straightening out his wings, just in case.

“Nice to meet you, Patton! My sincerest apologies for my rough handling, I hope you’ll forgive me such actions in the name of getting you out of that cursed place.”

Patton nodded, and then shook his head, trying to figure out what to focus on first. “Why were you in there in the first place?”

Roman took on a proud expression. “I’ve been stopping by to inspect the place for other fairies or sprites that are trapped, waiting to be sold. That way, I can buy their freedom. Not that the store owner knows that, of course.”

“But why?” Patton knew better than most that humans, magic or not, saw their kind as useful at best and pests at worst.

“I will admit to my shame that it took the intervention of another to show me that the portrayal of fairykind has been terribly skewed,” he said, and then a fond smile overtook his face. “Luckily, I have a roommate who is educated in such matters, and didn’t hesitate to inform me of the truth as well.”

Huh. Patton hadn’t known that there were humans who considered fairies people. It made his heart feel warm as a summer wind. For a moment, he wondered if maybe Logan was one of the fairies he’d freed, but… Roman was no witch. He couldn’t be able to cloak a presence so effectively. He shook the thought away, focusing on the present. “Then, I’m free to go? For realsies, right?”

“That’s right! For realsies,” Roman said, and then shifted to rummage in his pocket with one hand. “Here, if you ever find yourself in need, this little card will point you in the right direction to my abode. Me or my roommates would be happy to help!”

Patton took the square of paper, which was thoughtfully very small, and tucked it into his belt. “Thank you!” Hesitantly, he hovered into the air over Roman’s hands, and smiled when the human didn’t even twitch in his direction. “Really. Thank you.”

“No thanks necessary,” he said, and then added with a wink, “but I do appreciate them greatly!”

Patton laughed, and then let the wind carry him up and up and up, until Roman was just a bright speck of color on the ground, and he headed back to the evergreen he was using as a temporary sleeping perch.

Close encounters aside, he had a lot of thinking to do. Logan would be proud, once Patton found him.

He was going to find him. He had to.

---

Two days later, Patton had scoured every nook and cranny in the entire town, and all he’d gotten for his efforts was an increasing sense of despair and exhaustion. There was no trace of Logan anywhere, and it was becoming more and more difficult to keep his spirits high. The fact that he hadn’t found a place to safely rest and recharge wasn’t helping, either.

He ducked behind a reflective street sign as another car rushed by in a rumble of noise and smoke. On the bright side, so many hours spent eavesdropping on humans meant that he was learning a lot about how things worked outside their home forest. Logan would have loved to hear all about it...

“Wait… humans!” Patton hurriedly perched on the top of a nearby lamppost, pulling a flat sheaf of paper from his belt. He’d been so consumed with his search that he’d almost forgotten his encounter with Roman.

The human had said that he or his roommate would offer help, and he had meant it, Patton was sure. Logan would have been concerned about what the humans wanted from him in exchange, but Patton wasn’t quite as cynical. Logan could lecture him about it later, after he found him.

Stretching out his wings, he tapped the paper and activated the rune on it, smiling as a bright, glittering trail glowed its way into existence. The magic was fairly nature-based, he noticed as he darted into the air and followed the weaving path between buildings and over streets. Roman had probably asked for the help of a fairy to create it.

Maybe, once he found Logan, he could convince him to come along and visit Roman? They had so much in common, it seemed like they’d get along! They were both pretty stubborn though… Maybe after an initial rough patch.

Soon enough, he reached the third level of an apartment building, and the trail led right to a window that was draped in red curtains and closed tight. He knocked on the glass politely, but nobody seemed to be inside, and the paper didn’t work as a key.

Patton hummed, brow furrowing in thought, and then hovered over to the other side of the building. Maybe the roommate was in?

There were curtains on this window too, dark heavy ones, but they were parted just slightly enough that he could see into the room. The glass part of the window was lifted up, but there was a layer of mesh still preventing him from just flying in. He almost called out, but as he got closer, he could sense human magic thick in the air.

Instead, he pressed closer to the glass and peeked through the drapes, promising himself that he would apologize for intruding if everything turned out okay.

There was a human inside, but it definitely wasn’t Roman. He was tall, dark, and covered in glowing magic tattoos, ones that marked him as a witch, which made the tips of Patton’s wings flutter fearfully. Was this really Roman’s roommate?

The witch seemed to be hunched over something on his desk, going by the faint muttering and surges in magic, he was casting something. Patton tilted his head, wondering if maybe he should just go back to the window he knew was safe and wait for a little bit. This could be a whole other section of the building, for all he knew.

He drifted back just slightly, but at that very moment, he saw the witch move away, and got a perfect glimpse of what was sitting on the desk in front of him.

Or, rather, who.

Logan, his Logan, sat there, wings disheveled and face scrunched up in pain, his hands held out, magical cuffs of glowing script just barely visible around them.

Normally, Patton wasn’t the type to just jump into things without talking first, especially not fights. But the sight of Logan, his best friend, who had been captured and put in chains by a witch? That was far from normal.

Between one blink and the next, there was a gale underneath his wings. The cutting winds tore through the window mesh as easily as a knife through butter, and he rocketed towards the witch’s face fast enough to make them flinch. He stopped inches away, between the witch and Logan, and spread his wings wide and threatening.

“Get away from him,” he screamed, and the winds answered his call, throwing the room into upheaval and shoving the human to the ground as effectively as if Patton had been human-sized himself.

Convinced that the pin would hold, he turned to Logan, his vision already blurring with tears at seeing his friend alive and safe, even if just barely.

“Patton--” Logan attempted, and then cut himself off with a huff as Patton tackled him into the bear hug of all bear hugs, knocking them both into a sitting position. Despite his exasperation, Patton could see the way his friend’s wings were beating hummingbird-fast, and if the spot on his shoulder that Logan pressed his face to was a bit damp when he pulled away, well. Patton wasn’t going to tell anyone.

“Don’t you ever do that to me again,” he told Logan, still holding his hands desperately, as though he’d vanish if he let go for even a second. “I was so scared, you can’t ever leave me behind like that again, okay?”

They both knew Logan hadn’t chosen to be abducted, but Patton’s voice cracked on the last syllable of his plea, and Logan’s face softened.

“I won’t,” he said, gripping Patton’s hands back just as tightly. “I promise.”

Patton sniffled, wiping his eyes on the sleeve of his shirt. His magic pulled at him, and he abruptly remembered the human witch he’d attacked only moments ago. “Oh no! Logan, come on, we have to get out of here.”

He pulled them both to their feet, but when he began to hover towards the window, Logan didn’t follow. He looked back to him, confused. “Logan? It’s okay, we’ll find someone at home who can get that human magic off of you, no problem! So come on, okay?”  

Logan adjusted his glasses, using his other hand to tug Patton back to the surface of the desk. “Patton, hold on a moment. While I do appreciate your… dashing rescue, you’ve misunderstood a few things.”

Patton stared at him in disbelief. “What’s there to misunderstand? I saw the witch hurting you!”

“Pat, look at him,” Logan said, and turned Patton to face the witch, who was still pinned to the floor by swirling winds.

… He wasn’t straining against the magic at all, now that he took the time to feel the enchantment. He was just laying there, in a tipped over wooden chair on the floor, looking up at them with half-lidded eyes like he was already over the entire situation.

“You alright, Virgil?” Logan asked, and the witch rolled his eyes.

“Other than the headache?” he snarked back. “Yeah, I’m fine. Have you convinced your sprite friend that I’m not evil yet?”  

“I am working on it,” Logan replied, the slightest smile on his lips as he looked down at the human.

And that-- that smile, more than anything, convinced him.

“Okay.” Patton released the spell, stumbling slightly as the magic drain hit him fully. “Okay. But you…,” he yawned, “you have a lot of explaining to do, mister.”

“I’m sure I do.” Logan helped him sit, not complaining as Patton slumped over and used him as an improvised mattress. “For now, though, I think you need to rest.”

Even as Patton’s eyes drifted closed, he was clinging to Logan’s hand. And from the firm grip that he got in return, he knew that the other fairy wasn’t planning on leaving him anytime soon.

That was enough, for now.

[taxicabinmemphis]

“I’m exhausted” Logan and whatever side you want (can be platonic or romantic), Logan's experiencing emotions he's not used to and it's draining

so i’m a sucker for analogical and this got long. tho honestly this is me we’re talking about so what did you expect?

“Logan!” Virgil exclaimed, slamming the logical side’s door open. “What in the name of Ray Toro are we going to do about Thomas driving near a club at night on Wednesday? That’s the route you suggested he take! But Thomas is going to get killed by a drunk driver if that happens! So, what do we do?!”

Logan sighed, picking his head up from the table on which it was resting. He put his glasses on, facing the anxious side. “We’ll be fine, Virgil. However, if it bothers you so much we can go on another street. Also, will you please knock next time?”

Virgil’s exclamations and anxiety-fueled antics stopped, and he finally got a good look at the logical side. He looked terrible.

“You good, L?”

Logan rolled his eyes, turning his head away from Virgil so the side couldn’t take notice of his messy state. “I’m fine. I have given you what you required, so unless you have any other qualms you wish me to take care of, please leave.”

“Yeah, I have one more ‘qualm’ or whatever you called it,” Virgil said, approaching Logan. “You.”

Logan exhaled, giving Virgil an irritated look. “Yes, of course. What did I do this time?”

Virgil sat on Logan’s table, on his left, and gave him a scrutinizing look. “You’ve done nothing wrong, as per usual, but you’re a mess.”

“Thank you,” Logan said sarcastically, though Virgil’s ‘as per usual’ did lighten his mood by the tiniest fraction.

“I don’t mean it as a thing you’ve done wrong, but...” Virgil gave him a once-over. “Your hair is a mess, your glasses are crooked and weren’t even on when I came in, your tie is incredibly loose, your top button is undone, and your shoes are untied. If I wore your clothing, that would be expected of me and might even be considered nice, but this is you we’re talking about.” He paused, looking into Logan’s eyes. “What’s going on with you, buddy?”

Logan tried to fix his hair, adjusted his glasses, and tied his shoes. He left his shirt and tie the way they were as fixing them would feel restricting. He had loosened his tie and unbutton the top button of his shirt a few hours before because he felt like they were hindering his breathing.

“This is a worry I will not be calming for you. I’d greatly appreciate it if you would leave and not tell anyone about what you saw here.”

“No.”

“Look, I’m not in a compromising situation. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.”

“You just told me,” Virgil said slowly, “me, not to worry.”

Logan sighed, putting a hand to his forehead. “Yes, I realize my mistake. Of course you’re worried. Fine. Worry somewhere that isn’t my room, please.”

Virgil crossed his arms. “Rude.”

“Exactly. No one wants to be around rude people. Leave me alone.”

Virgil shook his head, putting a hand on Logan’s shoulder, the logical side immediately shrugging it off. “I’m worried about you, dude. I can’t help it, you’re the voice of reason. If you’re not doing okay, Thomas will suffer. And I don’t mean this as criticism or pressure for you to be okay, just...it’s really important to make sure you’re alright. It can’t just be dismissed as one of my normal, unimportant worries. It wouldn’t be...logical to leave you like this.”

“I’m not fond of the fact that you are likely correct,” Logan grumbled.

“Great; we’ve established that I have to stay,” Virgil stated. “So, what’s up?”

“I...” Logan trailed off, thinking about how to voice his emotions. “I’m exhausted.”

“Hmm?”

“Every day I work tirelessly to provide you all with what you need. Schedules, explanations, assistance in educational activities. I join you all in most of your discussions, offering the logical explanation or solution for the current dilemma almost immediately, and yet no one listens. No one will heed my advice, or listen to my suggestions. I would gladly do what I do with no problem if it wasn’t like talking to a wall and telling it how to deal with its issues.”

“Logan...”

“I’m just...I don’t know...” He put his head back down on the desk.

“No one means to hurt your feelings.”

“It’s not that. I’m over being hurt, or offended...”

“Then?”

“I’m just so tired, V.”

Virgil didn’t have a response to that. Logan lifted his head to look at Virgil.

“There’s nothing else to it.” Logan rubbed his eyes under his glasses. “I’m tired. Exhausted. And I don’t know how to deal with it.”

“Get some sleep?” Virgil suggested. “I can talk with the others, fix our rude behavior. And I’m sorry, I know I can be rude to you-”

Logan thought back to Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts. Virgil had been particularly disrespectful that episode, but it was only because he thought that further conversation on the topic would only make Thomas’ situation worse and his likelihood of becoming a bad person all the more likely.

“You’ve only been rude to me recently when your anxiety was telling you that what I was doing would make things worse. Your actions were out of fear and were understandable and while I was annoyed, I am over it and require no apology.”

“Oh...okay,” Virgil replied quietly. “Thank you for understanding.”

“And talking with the others may help, if you’re up for it.”

Virgil nodded. “Maybe we could do it together? I don’t know exactly how you’re feeling, so having you there would help.”

“Of course.”

“...Would sleep help?” Virgil asked. “I know you work a lot so it could help with the fatigue. You don’t always listen to your own advice, so-”

“Not with this problem, I’m afraid,” Logan said with a grimace. “Sleep doesn’t take me away from dealing with everyone and my emotions permanently.”

Virgil raised an eyebrow. “Emotions, huh?”

Logan sighed. “Yes. It has come to my attention that I do indeed...feel things, despite it not being logical.”

“It may not be logical, but it’s normal.” Virgil furrowed his eyebrows. “What emotions are troubling you?”

“I’m not sure I would like to talk with you about it,” Logan said bluntly. “There’s more than I know what to do with.”

“Oh. Should I get Patton?”

“No!” Logan exclaimed, eyes widening at his own volume. “Apologies. No, that would not be appreciated.”

“Is it, like, anger over not being listened to? Irritation? Insecurity?”

Logan stared at him for a moment, before answering. “Yes. Those are some of the troubling emotions.”

“Among others?”

“Among others.”

“And you don’t want to talk with me about it because...”

Logan didn’t want to answer this. He knew he’d been feeling something for the anxious side lately, and it was before he walked in the Logan decided it was likely something akin to romantic love.

Virgil was just so wonderful. He was smart, thoughtful, protective, funny (at times), beautiful, and they got along very well.

Having those types of feelings for someone, especially Virgil, scared him. He also didn’t want Virgil to know, in case it hurt their friendship or heightened his anxiety.

So, he figured it would be best not to mention it.

“I would rather not talk about it at all.”

Virgil frowned. “But you singled me out. Why?”

“Because we are currently talking.”

Virgil gave him an unimpressed look—he clearly didn’t buy it.

“I don’t want you to know.”

Virgil nodded, looking away from Logan and to his lap. “You hate me, don’t you?”

“Wha- no!” Logan objected incredulously.

“It’s okay, I get it, no need to sugarcoat it,” Virgil said pitifully. “I undermine what you do, I annoy you with my worries, I-”

“Stop,” Logan commanded firmly. “None of those things are true. I’m not having trouble with hateful emotions...I’m having trouble with their opposites. Please don’t talk to me about them.”

“You’re having trouble with...love?”

“Can’t we just leave it?”

Virgil grinned. “No. I will get to the bottom of this.”

Logan groaned, throwing his head back against the chair he was in.

“Is it Patton?” Virgil asked. “I bet it’s Patton. That’s why you’re so hurt when people don’t listen. You want him to think you’re smart and cool and you want him to notice and like you.”

“It’s not Patton.”

“No?” Virgil asked, surprised. However, he was secretly very happy. “I bet you’re lying.”

Logan didn’t understand how Virgil hadn’t caught on. “Just leave me alone, please.”

“No, we went over this,” Virgil said, exasperated. “I will now help you find love.”

“No, you won’t,” Logan disagreed. If Virgil was willing to help him with this, he obviously didn’t feel the same.

“Yes, I will,” Virgil replied. “I care about you. I won’t let you suffer through this unfamiliarity alone.”

In truth, Virgil knew because he suffered through it with his feelings for Logan. He still was suffering through it.

“The gesture is touching, but I will have to decline.”

Virgil gasped. “Is it Janus? You two are both incredibly intelligent.”

Virgil really didn’t know?

“No, it isn’t.”

Virgil put a hand to his chin in thought. “What’s he like?”

“He’s an idiot, that’s what he is,” Logan said in exasperation.

“Oh, so it’s Roman.”

Though, considering he didn’t want Virgil to know, this may have been good.

“All of you are idiots; I wasn’t specifying anything.” He pulled out a schedule for a future day and started to work on it.

“So it’s Roman.”

Logan shook his head. “No.”

Virgil paused. “It’s Remus?!”

Logan put his pen down, absolutely done. “Yes. Yes, it’s Remus. Me, the embodiment of logic, fell in love with a chaotic and crazy side who took out my teeth and hit me with a throwing star that, if I were human, would have killed me.” He gave Virgil a look.

There was a moment of silence.

“...Thomas?”

Logan threw his pen at Virgil’s head. “Get out. Leave. Leave my room, you utter and complete moron. I will not tolerate such idiocy in my sacred space of intelligence and higher thinking.”

Virgil put his hands up, jumping off the table and walking towards the door. He reached for the handle, but stopped.

He thought back to their conversation, who he’d eliminated, who he’d hadn’t, and Logan’s reactions. He remembered that time when he and Patton were in Logan’s room a week before, and Logan yelled at Patton for so much as leaning on his table. Logan just let him sit on the table for an extended period of time. Logan didn’t force him out of his room or sink out, he just told Virgil to leave multiple times. He did try to ward him off with rudeness once, but never tried again. He also defended Virgil’s actions that hurt his feelings...to Virgil. Not to mention, he described his crush as an idiot before going on to call Virgil out on his idiocy and use that to send him out of his room.

“...Oh.”

Logan knew this meant Virgil had figured it out, so he took another pen and started to write furiously.

Virgil swiveled on his heels to face Logan, a look of realization on his face. He suppressed a laugh when he saw the side turned away from him and to his work, writing quickly and fully ignoring him. He found it absolutely adorable.

He walked over to Logan slowly, hands stuffed in his hoodie pockets. He stood beside Logan’s chair, placing a hand on the top left of it. He saw Logan’s movements stiffen a bit, but otherwise stay the same.

He turned the chair so Logan was facing him. Logan’s eyes widened, his pen dropped from his hands, and he stopped moving.

Virgil tilted the chair back, and he leaned over Logan.

“You love me, don’t you?”

“It appears so.”

Virgil chuckled, getting closer to Logan.

“You’re adorable, you know that?” Virgil teased.

Logan shook his head no in protest.

Virgil laughed. “If you say so. You’re already hot so I guess it’s unfair for you to be both.”

Logan’s cheeks flushed. There was a silence as the two just stared at each other for a moment.

Virgil’s eyes flickered to Logan’s lips.

“Would you mind if I kissed you?” Virgil murmured quietly.

“No,” Logan replied.

Virgil smiled, and—still tilting Logan’s chair back—kissed him like he was the most important thing in the world.

And to each other, that was exactly what they were.

~

Sorry this got long! I am such an a sucker for analogical I’m sorry. Hope you liked it! If you would like a redo, please shoot me as ask. Thanks!

[fakeloveaskblog]

Logan can be Data from Star Trek TGN

Your message came in right in the middle of a make out session. Logan looked over to you and shone up at the mention of one of his special interests. Janus leant against him, he was still wearing the medusa costume. He literally had the same expression a cartoon character have after kissing, he was only missing the lipstick marks.

"Oh yes! I actually went as Data last year! My beloved good lady wife Patty went as Seven Of Nine from star trek voyager! They're both at least partially robots so it fit well. Wait I think I might have some photos saved"

He took out his phone and shoved of a photo to both you and Janus "Aww dear you look good in yellow" They commented.

"Thanks hun. This is us from the year before that. My wife went as Sailor moon and I went as tuxedo mask. We had a deal where she choose one year and I the next"

Janus chuckled "I didn't think you would look That dorky in capes"

"Oh shush. Not all of us can be born with the important ability to look good in capes like you do. Anyhow this is me and my wife-"

"You don't have to keep saying your wife. I know who Patty is. I have literally cooked spaghetti with her. Twice"

Logan looked partially offended "I like saying it and that is all the reason I need. Just you wait until I illegally marry you, then you'll understand"

"What-"

"This is me and My Wife as a jar of crofters and a spoon. One of my proudest moments honestly" He shone up even more (in Logan standards) when he saw the next photo "Oh this is from college. It's me and Patty as Gomez and Morticia and then there's Nico as Uncle fester and Thomas as Puglsey. See? This is why polyamory is superior. You are able to craft better group halloween costumes"

"Indeed. We all know relationships are actually just tactical opportunities for the halloween season. WAit" Janus shook their boyfriend around "We should go as Morticia and Gomez! Not this year since we are letting the floating sunglass people decide! But some other time!"

"Amazing idea darling. The gay bar has quite regular costume parties after all so this idea will greatly benefit us in the future"

They did a very romantic high five.

[jwillowwolf]

Magic and Miracles - Chapter 8

Sanders Sides Big Bang fic, Chapter 8!

< Previous Chapter | Next Chapter > | Masterlist

Summary: “Not a morning person?”

“Does staying up until five am count?”

“Wh- no! That’s actually a bit concerning. Please don’t tell me you were up until five then only slept two hours before we started walking.”

“I won’t tell you that then.”

Warning/s: food mention.

Characters: Logan, Virgil, OCs, Roman, Remy, Remus, Patton, Janus, Emile.

Tag List: @theimprobabledreamersworld @remy-please-come-back

Read on AO3

8 | Fondness

Logan stared at the ceiling above him. It seemed like just yesterday he had been doing this out of boredom, waiting for when everyone was supposed to tour the manor. He’d been so anxious about what studying here would mean and how he would socialise with his classmates. Now though, they were all his friends, and he found himself mildly amused that he’d ever been nervous about getting to know them.

This room that had seemed so strange before had become home. Everything from the view outside his window to the softness of the bed was as familiar as his room at the bakery. Soon though, this would no longer be his home.

With the upcoming license test, he would officially become a wizard, and therefore no longer need to remain a student. He’d miss being here and having his friends so close. Come to think of it, he would miss his friends greatly too. After the test, they would be returning to their far off homes. Virgil didn’t live very far off, but Logan felt that it wouldn’t be proper for someone like him to be visiting the prince.

In a couple of days, all of Logan’s dreams about being a wizard would come true, yet he would lose the dreams he never knew he had…

“Rise and shine, witches! You’ve got a big day ahead!”

Logan shook his head, as if that would clear it of any unwanted thoughts, and got out of bed. Today he couldn’t be distracted by silly emotions. Remy was sending them on a huge quest to refine their skills before the big test.

At breakfast, everyone seemed excited for the quest. It was going to be an overnight kind of thing and they were doing it on their own. They had all been taught to teleport and a special spell that would summon Remy if the need arose, but they were still going to be doing this entirely independent of any other adults.

“Hey, you okay L?” Virgil asked as they were walking down the hall.

“Hmm?”

“You look like you’re trying to solve the meaning of life.”

“...What?”

Virgil rolled his eyes. “You look broody, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing is… wrong, per se.”

“Per se?”

“I’m probably just feeling tired from staying up last night studying the notes Remy gave us.”

“Well, hopefully, breakfast lifts your energy, because we have a long walk ahead of us.”

Logan didn't have time to even respond to that as he was tackled to the ground by a hug. "Everleigh? What are you doing here?"

"I came to wish my friends good luck of course! Your dad is here too."

Sure enough, Emile was there in the dining room waiting on everyone else with a special spread of pastries for breakfast.

"Hey kids, I figured you'd want something good to start your big day."

"It's not even test-day yet Mr Picani, but thank you! Your pastries are incredible." Willow declared.

"Well, thanks kiddo. Today isn't your test but it's still a pretty big day. I will be sure to make pastries for test day too though."

"It's not that big a quest really," Remy said. "It's just a longer trip than I usually send them on for ingredient collecting."

"Considering it's a two-day journey to retrieve a rare fruit from a cave, I doubt calling today big would be an exaggeration." Virgil pointed out.

"Back when I was learning magic, we didn't even get teleportation spells for coming back. We'd have to walk there and back, and as quickly as we could too." Remy stated.

"Whatever you say, old man."

"Old? Did you just call me old?" Remy said in a greatly offended tone.

Virgil smirked. "Yup."

Remy turned to Emile. "See what disrespect I have to deal with? You know what, I'm not even going to miss you, sassy little ankle-biters."

The teens all snickered at Remy's dramatics and then dug into their breakfast.

“So, are you guys excited?” Emile asked.

“For the quest itself, not so much. But for the afterparty,” Roman said.

“Yeah, Remy promised us that we’d even get the next day off school, so we could stay up as late as we want!” Remus added.

“I have a feeling I’m going to regret that deal,” Remy whispered to Emile, who nodded with a giggle.

“Can I come to the party?” Everleigh asked.

“Of course,” Remy replied. “They seem to get into less trouble with you around. I’m half tempted to ask you to join them on this quest of theirs.”

“We’re not that accident prone, thank you very much. We’ve kept ourselves out of trouble all month,” Janus pointed out.

“Yeah, and I’m worried you’re due for a disaster,” Remy sighed.

Logan nodded. “Statistically speaking, it’s odd that we’ve gone this long without something happening.”

“That’s comforting…” Virgil muttered.

Janus shrugged. “We’re just getting better at self-preservation. We’ll be fine.”

---

“I retract my earlier statement,” Janus declared as they were walking. “We’re all going to die of exhaustion.”

“Don’t be so dramatic, Jan, that’s my job,” Roman stated.

“And we’ve barely been walking for half a day now,” Willow pointed out.

“Half a day, mainly uphill,” Janus reiterated.

“Perhaps if we all talk about something, our minds won’t be so concentrated on the tiredness,” Patton suggested.

Logan nodded. “Yes, doing something else should distract our brains from any pain or exhaustion. Either with a stimulating conversation or some kind of sing-along.”

“I know a good song!” Remus declared. “She’ll be coming around the mountain when she comes-!”

“No! You are not starting that nightmare up again,” Roman interrupted with a stern glare at his grinning twin.

“Oh, come on, Roro. You love this song!”

“I passionately despise that song.”

“All I heard was ‘passionately’, do you want to marry this song, Ro?” Remus asked. “Or do you just want to--”

“Shut up!” Roman shouted, his face turning as red as Remus’s eyes.

“What do you have against that song?” Willow inquired.

“It’s the way she sings it,” Roman explained. “It’s not appropriate.”

Remus rolled his eyes. “All I said was-”

“No! You have lost speaking privileges.” Roman declared.

“Well then, is there anything else we can talk about?” Janus asked,

“We could play a game,” Patton suggested.

“But not eye spy or word chain,” Virgil immediately added.

Roman huffed. “Alright then, how about you suggest a game, stormcloud?”

“A race.”

Janus stared at him dumbfounded. You’re kidding, right?

Virgil shook his head. “Nope. Let’s all race to… that archway, the winner gets first pick of the treats Mr Picani gave us for lunch.”

Everyone, despite their tiredness from walking, exchanged looks of determination.

“Let’s go!”

---

Once it was close to sunset, the seven finally halted their walking and made camp with the supplies they’d been given. They had two tents, a good amount of firewood, plenty of food to go around, and sleeping bags for each of them. Janus started the fire and began heating up a pot of stew for dinner.

Remus laid himself flat on the ground. “Gods, everything hurts.”

Patton sighed. “I told you not to jump through that bush.”

“I didn’t know it was hiding a steep incline.”

“I told you it was hiding a steep incline,” Roman huffed.

“Well, when have I ever listened to you?”

Roman just sighed in exasperation, too tired to continue arguing.

“The healing spell should only take a little longer to complete,” Virgil said. “So the pain will eventually fade.”

“Eventually?!”

“Remus, you basically jumped off a cliff, please stop complaining about the consequences of your actions,” Willow said.

Remus looked at her with a raised brow. “Someone’s in a bad mood.”

“They’re hangry,” Janus stated. “And so am I, when is this thing going to finish heating up?!”

“I still have some pastries from lunch to snack on,” Patton offered.

“Oh, Patty, you’re a saint!” Willow declared joyfully.

Logan watched his teammates with a faint smile. These interactions were starkly different from how they used to treat each other in the beginning. Well, Remus and Roman still bickered, but they were siblings. Janus and Roman no longer acted like they wanted to kill one another. Willow spoke with confidence to everyone instead of their meek tones. Virgil became more social and even laughed and smiled along with the group now. Patton was still his kind-hearted self, although now he was a lot more appreciated for it.

It was a far cry from the dysfunctional class of misfits that they had been. And in Logan’s opinion, it was a real improvement. He couldn’t believe that he’d once been so set on looking out only for himself when now he was so determined to help his team. His friends…

“-gan? Logan?”

“Hmm?”

Virgil gave him a small smile. “You spaced out, I was asking if you wanted your stew now.”

“Oh, um, yes, thank you.”

Virgil handed him one of the bowls in his hands and then sat beside him. “Mind if I ask what’s got you so deep in thought?”

“I was just thinking... about how much I’ll miss all of you,” Logan admitted. “Once we’ve all passed the test and can move on with our lives, the twins will sail off to their island, Janus and Willow will go back to Evergreen Valley, Patton will return to his parents and brother, and you’ll- well, you know…”

“Do you really think after all we’ve been through together, we’d abandon each other that easily?”

“It’s possible.”

“So is the end of the world, but tomorrow is just as possible as that.”

“I’m not sure I follow.”

“Well, look at it this way. If you throw a coin up in the air, there’s an equal chance of it landing on either heads or tails, right?”

“Yes.”

“So there is a chance that we’ll all grow apart, but there’s a bigger chance that we’ll stay friends despite the distance. We’ve got magic to take us back and forth anyway. Staying in touch will be easier than you think.”

“Well, what about your whole secret identity thing?”

“After the test, I’m going to finally show the kingdom who I am.”

Logan paused. “Wait, really?”

“Yeah, I feel like I’m finally ready to take on the responsibility of having a public image. That means I’ll need to surround myself with the right kinds of people, and you all are exactly the kinds of people I want by my side.”

“Even me? The non-noble?”

“Especially you, Logan. I mean, titles, they’re nothing more than titles. Just words that give a person a position. You, despite the position in life you were given, worked hard to become the first-ever non-noble mage. Title or no title, you are an incredible person Logan, and I’m grateful to have even met you.”

Logan searched Virgil’s face for any hint of insincerity but found none. Those stormy grey eyes held no dishonesty. Only… Fondness? Logan wasn’t good enough at understanding emotions to know exactly what Virgil was feeling, but he felt that it wasn’t anything malicious.

“Thank you, Virgil.”

“No problem. So, do you have any specific plans for what you want to do after the test?”

“Well, I wanted to open up a medical practice.”

“I thought you specialised in air magic? If you’re going into doctoring, why not take up healing magic?”

“I planned on specializing in helping people transition for an affordable price.”

“Oh? That sounds interesting.”

“It was the whole reason I got interested in studying magic. I remember that one day some people came into the bakery, talking about transitional magic. I knew then already that I wanted to do something about my body. The dysphoria was… difficult. So I looked into having someone do the spell for me, but even the cheapest of mages charged far too much for my dad or me to afford. So I took matters into my own hands and decided I would learn magic myself and help others like me to be comfortable in their own skin.”

“That’s a noble cause. It’s almost like what I wanted to do with having a magic school.”

“Oh?”

“I always felt like it was unfair that so many people missed out on the chance to use magic. Being half-fae, I was surrounded by it for my entire life. The council keeps track of who can use magic and is worthy of using it, but the only people able to use it are the rich nobles with all the access to tutors and stuff. It’s like having only certain men be knights, instead of allowing anyone who wants to fight to take up arms. There are so many people out there with the potential to be great, but because of how they were born, they will never have a chance to reach that potential.”

“You care a lot about people.”

“So do you.”

“I suppose that’s a good thing.”

The two sat silently as they ate, but the silence between them felt comfortable. However, Logan found himself once again questioning what he felt towards Virgil, whenever he glanced over at him. His heart seemed to both beat faster and sometimes skip beats altogether. Especially since they were sitting so close together at the moment. They were so close that their knees kept on brushing against each other.

"Uh, Logan?"

"Yes?"

Virgil tugged at his cape's hood. "Can I… ask you an important question?"

Logan tilted his head to the side curiously. "Sure."

"W-"

“Hey, do you two want seconds?” Remus yelled, interrupting the boy’s conversation. “Or can I have the rest?”

“Remus, if you eat all that you’ll get a stomach ache,” Patton warned.

Ignoring his boyfriend’s worry, Remus asked, “Who bets I can finish this in five minutes?”

“You’re an idiot,” Janus stated blankly.

“And a coward. Aim for three!” Roman encouraged.

Logan shook his head. “Well, hopefully, Remus’s antics are the worst things we’ll have to worry about.”

Virgil shrugged. “I’m sure we’ll be fine.”

---

The next morning, after an unpleasant wake-up call from Roman screaming, because Remus had drenched him in water, everyone got up and continued their trek to the cave where the special fruit Remy wanted, grew. Janus and Roman were taking the lead, bickering about something between themselves, with Willow, Remus and Patton walking close behind them, and Virgil and Logan tailing everyone. Willow and Remus would dash away from the group every now and again to grab flowers for Patton so that he could make them all flower crowns. Which was hard to do while walking but he seemed to be managing.

Logan noted that Virgil still seemed very tired. “Not a morning person?”

“Does staying up until five am count?”

“Wh- no! That’s actually a bit concerning. Please don’t tell me you were up until five then only slept two hours before we started walking.”

“I won’t tell you that then.”

“You need sleep, Virgil.”

“I’ll be fine. I have a bit of midnight elixir from Remy that should wake me up.”

Logan shook his head. “What on earth kept you up so late?”

Virgil shrugged. “Thoughts. My mind was feeling really busy last night. Thinking about… everything.”

“Are you worried about what’s going to happen when…” Logan trailed off.

“Kind of, but I’m sure it’ll be fine. After all, I’ve got both my parents to support me through it. Plus all of you… if the others are as accepting as you.”

“Your race won’t change how they see you, Virgil.”

“You can’t know for sure.”

“Perhaps it’s not a guarantee but the chance of them being loyal is infinitesimal.”

“So small.”

“What, no. That would be the chance of them rejecting you.”

“Then why would you say infinitesimal? It means extremely small.”

“Wait, what?”

“Y-yeah… Logan, did you not know what infinitesimal meant?”

“…”

“Oh my gods, you didn’t.”

“Don’t laugh at me! I don’t know everything and that’s perfectly normal.”

“Well, yeah, but you’re like a super genius.”

“You think I’m a genius.”

“Of course. You’ve proved it time and time again. You’re incredibly smart. In fact, the chances of you not knowing something are… infinitesimal.”

Logan glared. “How dare you use a compliment to tease me, you… sparkly-eyed jerk.”

“My eyes sparkle?”

“When you’re happy, yeah. They look kind of like stars.”

“Wow, I didn’t know you were such a romantic.”

Logan froze. “I didn’t mean to cross any boundaries-”

“You can say I have nice eyes, L. I only meant the poetic kind of romantic. I’m sure you weren’t trying to flirt. Unless you were?”

“I- uh, no. I mean you are quite attractive and I-” Logan stopped himself before he could accidentally confess anything more.

“So you do think I’m attractive at least.”

“...Yes.”

“Well, thanks. I feel the same way about you.”

Logan blushed. “O-oh… thank you...”

The rest of the walk was silent as Logan tried to calm his heart rate down. He was concerned with how fast it was going considering the casual pace they were travelling at. Subconsciously though, he knew that it was what Virgil had said that made him feel like this. He could pretend all he wanted, that there was something else wrong, but he knew that the cause of all this was his feelings towards a certain grey-eyed boy.

The fact that they had almost just flirted with each other was really not helping him. Especially since he wanted so badly to actually flirt with him. He wasn’t exactly sure of his full attraction to Virgil but he liked the idea of flirting with him. Exchanging compliments and maybe holding hands or even… kissing him? That idea made his heart skip a beat.

So basically he was having a gay panic all the way up to the cave. The one thing that distracted him from completely freezing was looking at his surroundings and categorizing all the plants he saw. Beside the cave entrance, he noted there were some berry bushes growing. Then, he saw a pebble fall from above the entrance and glanced up to see what had pushed it.

Time seemed to slow down when Logan saw the boulder perched there. It looked like it was about to fall and crush Virgil, Patton and him before they got into the cave. He grabbed Virgil’s wrist and pushed Patton ahead of them as quickly as possible to get inside of the cave before the boulder came tumbling down with a bunch of other large rocks that now sealed the entrance.

“Holy- are you guys okay?!” Willow asked.

“Pat!” Remus ran to Patton’s side immediately and helped him up.

“I’m okay, I’m okay. Logan saved us.”

Virgil stared wide-eyed at the rocks. "By Ysla’s bow, that was close. Are you alright, Logan?”

“I’m fine. Just glad I saw what was going to happen before we got squished.”

“How the hel did that even happen? There’s no way that was a coincidence,” Janus commented.

“Well, I don’t know what else it could have been. Maybe that was the big trouble that Remy was worried we’d get into,” Roman said.

“Good thing we have the porthole spell to get home then. I don’t think that there’s any way we could get back through here without it taking half an eternity,” Willow declared.

After that scare, the group continued on deeper into the cave. They knew the tree grew in a central chamber surrounded by glowing moss. There was some of this glowing moss on the walls, illuminating their path so they didn’t have to use a light spell or anything.

Soon enough, they reached the chamber. From there they just had to get the fruit from the tree, make a porthole, and go home for their after party. Except there was one problem.

A giant mole.

“I think we’re cursed.”

---

A/N: thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this. I'll be posting two chapters a day until the full fic is up, so if you want to be tagged, you can just ask.

I'd love to hear what you thought about the chapter if you wouldn't mind commenting. Thanks again for reading! Here's hoping you have a magical day 💜

[authorized-trash]

To Tie a Knot: Chapter Three: Virgil’s Verdict

Ao3

Chapter One , Chapter Two

Trigger Warnings:

Sympathetic Deceit, self hate, mild language, hospital mention, panic

Chapter Summary:

Fate works in mysterious ways (in the dead of night, apparently.)

Word Count:

2,400+

Note:

This is where things get tricky, as the story on Ao3 has Deceit’s name down as Ethel, while here it is Damian. And since im copying and pasting from where i posted it to ao3, i gotta change his name over to here haha. If you see a mistake where i called him the wrong thing, yell at me

Anyways, we’re just going to ignore the fact that im pretty sure its nearly been a year since last time i updated, shhh

reblogs and comments are so greatly appreciated!

Damian was getting real sick of this stupid hospital room.

The walls were a obnoxiously bright gray, and the curtains did little to block out the pale sun of winter. There was this stupid little picture across from his bed, with a cute silhouette couple holding hands, a small loopy string dangling from their fingers.

Damian rolled over onto his side, picking at the slightly peeling paint. He’d been in here for days, and still had an hours wait before he was discharged.

His spine hurt from being in this position for so long, but he’d already explored the hospital five times now.

He didn’t understand what was so important about him being here so long. They already told him the bad news. He’d already passed the mark for another soulmate. He had already come to terms wi-

A lump raised into Damian’s throat, but he swallowed it down. He hadn’t cried yet. He wouldn’t now.

Perhaps the hardest part about this whole ordeal was the pitying looks. The nurses telling him it was alright to cry. The therapist that had stopped by to tell him it wasn’t healthy to act like everything was fine.

Everything was fine though, right? It wasn’t like Damian lost something important. He didn’t lose his job, didn’t lose his house. No, he lost someone he hadn’t even met yet. Surely it wasn’t that important.

Yeah, he’d be a bit lonely, but was that really important? No. It wasn’t, not really.

His stomach twisted into knots. It didn’t bother him, it didn’t. The feeling of nothing he found didn’t mean anything. The complete lack of movement from his fatestring meant nothing.

He ran a hand through his hair, and even after all this time, was a bit disappointed when he didn’t feel the string pull against his finger.

With a sigh, he sat up, reaching for his phone. He had gotten a notification from Remy, five minutes ago. He opened it. They’d be here soon.

His phone buzzed in his hand as he got a message from Emile. Sometime this week they’d swapped numbers, the therapy student wanting to be nice and keep him some kind of company.

-Hey were heading there now, you ready to leave

Damian rolled his eyes.

-no, i really do enjoy it here

-Thought so see you soon

Damian put his phone into his pocket as he stood. Stretching. He stretched out the soreness in his arms and headed out of his room. HE was given some paperwork, which he finished quick enough.

The hospital was on campus of the town university he attended. He would’ve normally just walked to his dorm, but Remy had insisted he drive Damian.

He spotted Remy’s car, recognizing the sunglasses clad male as he opened the side door.

“What, no Emile today?” Damian asked as he buckled in.

“He had work. Where do you wanna go babes? We can go out to eat or-“

“I think I’d just like to go home. Today is just such a lovely day.”

Remy looked out the window to see the thunder clouds rolling up over the hills in the distance. He rolled his eyes as he turned out of the parking lot.

“Yeah well, I’m not leaving you alone all evening, get that into that pretty little head of your’s Dee. We’re goin’ to your apartment if you are, hon.”

“Figured as much,” Damian said as he pulled his hat over his eyes and laid his head back against the head rest. That feeling of emptiness was present again. ‘We’ Remy had said. He was most likely bringing Emile along. It just reminded Damian about how he wasn’t going to get another soulmate. Another fatestring. Another chance. He didn’t do anything wrong to deserve this, did he? Sure he took that pack of gum from the store without paying, but that was years ago. And yeah maybe he was a bit sarcastic and stand offish, but surely-

“Hon I can hear those gears turning in your head.”

Damian flushed. He looked at the frayed end of his fatestring again, messing with it with his other hand. Remy’s eyes caught the movement as they pulled up to a stop light.

“You’re looking at it again, aren’t you.”

“No.” Remy sighed, “Damian, sweetheart, platonic love of my life,” Damian grumbled at that one, “It will be fine. The reassigning is just a little late is all. Perhaps its finding the perfect match to tag you onto right now. It’s rare not to get reassigned babe, there’s no way you won’t be.”

Damian shrugged.

“Okay. That’s it babes. We’re getting some coffee. I ain’t goin’ into some sappy ass monologue just for you to shrug me off. I’m going to cheer you up with chocolate and sparkles. Buckle up.”

“I am.”

“Shuthu’ fuck up.”

Damian hid a smirk as he lifted his hat from his eyes and looked up to see Remy’s irritated driving. They pulled into the starbucks, and Damian attempted to forget the whole soulmate thing for the time being.

Easier said than done.

-

Two Months Later

“You are being ridiculous.”

“Oh, am I? I’m being ridiculous? You, sir, are ridiculous. I am simply trying to get my work done, now if you’d simply leave me alone,” Roman huffed, crossing his arms over his chest in indignation.

“Ro, honey, you were shouting lyrics to beauty and the beast at nine in the afternoon, people are sleepy.”

Roman gave an outraged cry, he was being ganged up on by the glasses gays! He would not stand for this! “It was not shouting, I was belting! I was singing as loud as my heart desires, I simply wish to follow my heart!”

“More like belching them out,” Virgil snickered into his hoodie sleeve from his seat on the counter. Roman gave a few offended noises that sounded suspiciously like squawking.

“How dare! I am simply trying to memorize my lyrics-“

“And why don’t you,” Logan came up behind him, placing his hands on his shoulders lightly, “Memorize them in your room, and not off the balcony.”

“But there’s no romanticism in that.”

“Baby, I’m sure that nice imagination of yours can think of a nice audience to listen to you,” Patton said, kissing Roman on the forehead as the redhead fell to the couch.

“A more willing audience then our neighbors,” Virgil grumbled, “I don’t want another sound complaint.”

“Better yet,” Patton said, pulling Roman right back to his feet, why don’t we go to your room, and I’ll listen to you..”

Roman perked up like a puppy, nodding and already pulling Patton into his room. Logan and Virgil watched them leave, both with love stricken looks.

“This happens every night,” Logan said, walking to the coffee pot to poor him another cup.

“Yeah well, it’s a routine at this point,” Virgil said, eyeing the new cup in Logan’s hands, “You’re not planning on staying up all night with that, are you?”

Logan sighed, running a hand through his hair, “I do need to stay up late, yes. I have an essay that needs edited.”

“Logan you are going to work yourself to death one of these days.”

“And you plan on sleeping soon?”

Virgil grumbled some excuses, just as Logan thought he would. The bespectacled male smiled into his mug as he brought it to his lips to drink.

“Whatever idiot, I’m going to bed. And yes, whatever, by bed I mean I’m going to be on my phone for another hour or two. Sushi. I- I mean- damnit, sue me.”

Logan laughed, setting his drink down and pulling Virgil into his arms and off the table. The emo grumbled but returned the embrace anyways. Logan gave him a peck to his lips, brushing the hair from his eyes.

“Goodnight Virgil, please attempt to get some sleep.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Virgil said, pushing away from Logan. He was sure his face was a deep red, but he didn’t expect Logan to notice as he rushed away down the hall.

Logan smiled again. He wasn’t normally the one to be all lovey-dovey, but it was late and he was in a good mood. A great mood actually. Life was good, stable, had a rhythm to it. Logan liked to keep things organized, liked to have a schedule, a routine.

There had been no outside factors messing up this schedule for a few years now, and he planned on keeping it that way.

He finished is coffee and work sometime in the early hours. He couldn’t tell when, as he had immediately curled into the bed next to his soulmates minutes after. Sleep made his eyelids heavy as he drifted off to sleep, completely unaware of the faint numbing feeling in his fingers.

-

Morning came with a buzz of an alarm clock. It was annoying, and loud, but it did its job well.

Logan woke up the same way every day. He’d carefully untangle himself from his fiances, wincing as his bare feet hit the cold ground. He’d yawn as he exited their shared room and entered the bathroom. He’d brush his teeth, shower, and leave. He’d start the coffee and solve a word-cross puzzle. He’d make himself a Crofter’s covered piece of toast, leave a small note for his partners, and depart for work.

This morning shouldn’t have been any different. He woke up, untangled himself, stretched and yawned. He left the room and entered the one across the hall. He was too tired to notice when he reached for his toothbrush. Didn’t notice as he rinsed his mouth out. He noticed as he patted his mouth dry with a hand towel.

He dropped the cloth into the sink and shouted, stumbling back until he hit the wall. He shoved his hand into his pajama pockets, trembling all over. A feeling of dread filled him, the feeling he got when something major messed with his schedule. An unknown constant added to his perfectly mapped out life.

Logan heard his fiances start to stir and get up. He took his hands out of his pockets. They trembled violently, bringing them in front of him, praying that he was wrong, he hadn’t seen what he thought he did.

With a shaky intake of breath, he confirmed the impossible.

There was a thin yellow string attached to his pinky finger where there hadn’t been last night.

“Logan?! Logan are you alright?” Patton was the first to round the corner. He had shot up when he heard the scream and thump. His breath caught in his throat. Roman and Virgil were next, damn near getting wedged in the door with how fast they both rammed into it. Logan was shaking his head in disbelief, staring at his hands, at the four strings that were connected to each finger. The others looked down as well, at the string that had connected itself to their pinky fingers.

“How is that possible?” Roman asked in disbelief, messing with the string. Logan just shrugged, exhaling shakily.

“It shouldn’t be- you are born with strings, you shouldn’t be able to gain them.”

“Who are they?” Patton asked as they all looked up at each other. They had five soulmates. Five. That was a ridiculous number, absolutely unheard of.

“I guess,” Virgil swallowed, “I guess we’ll find out when we find them.”

-

Damian woke up with the feeling that he’d been hit by a truck. Everything was sore, and his hand hurt to move. Maybe he slept on it weird.

He sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, wincing as his fingers tugged weirdly. They felt like the circulation had been cut off, they were all sleepy and heavy.

He got up, shivering as his toes touched the freezing floor of his apartment. He could see his breath in front of him.

He really needed to fix that heater.

Walking into his kitchen, he made himself a cup of coffee, his eyes barely open. His fingers gave another uncomfortable tug. Weird.

Slugging into the bathroom, he took a shower, running his hands of his face. Perhaps it was a good thing he was never reassigned a soulmate. The ugly scar on half his face would scare them off.

He dried off afterwards, brushing his teeth. He looked at himself long and hard in the mirror, scrutinizing every inch. He had school and practice today, enough people would see him to need makeup, and he applied the simple face he wore with practiced ease.

It didn’t do much to cover up the scars, but it was something.

He left the house with his coffee in hand and backpack slung over his shoulder, wearing a black long coat and a scarf. It was beginning to feel a lot like winter, and Damian wasn’t one to like the cold.

The walk to campus wasn’t horribly long. Just a walk through the park and up the block. He was pretty fit and in shape, both from the walk and practice, so it no longer bothered him any.

Damian ignored the few looks he got from passerby. There seemed to be a lot of them today. Odd. He had lived here for a while now, surely most these people who were routinely out at this time had gotten over their staring phase.

He spotted Remy waiting at the fence as always, speeding up slightly to catch up with him. The glasses clad male waved without looking up from his phone.

“Hey hot stuff, how’s your morning been?” Remy asked, still texting. Probably Damian if one was going off the fond look on his face.

“Dreadful,” Damian grumbled, leaning against the fence, “I must have pulled a muscle in my arm or something, it hurts something awful.”

“Uh huh. Well, I wish the best for you babes. Maybe take some meds or somethin’ before class?” Remy looked up at him over his glasses. Damian nodded, running a hand through his hair, missing how Remy followed them movement.

“Yes well that’s a giv-“

“Holy shit babe,” Remy exclaimed suddenly, grabbing a hold of Damianl’s wrist.

He moved out of the way of the street light, holding Damial’s wrist out, staring at the shadows on the ground in absolute disbelief.

“You have four and you didn’t tell me?!” He have shrieked in excitement, looking up at Damian in surprised. The other man raised a concerned eyebrow.

“Four wh-“ His throat closed in on itself, and the world around him seemed to melt away as he stared at his hand. Four- four strings. There were four fatestrings connected to his fingers. Four-

Four soulmates?

Taglist:

To be added later

[quoth-the-sparrow]

Shot To The Heart (And You’re To Blame)

A Sanders Sides Fanfiction

Warnings: Sympathetic Deceit, guns and shooting (Though this is a laser tag game, but still) If I need to add anything, please let me know

Pairings: Prinxiety, Loceit

Description: The boys play laser tag and two of them decide to take a risk

Word Count: 1,321

You can also find the story here on ao3

Virgil let out a sigh as Patton parked the car. “Aw, come on kiddo, cheer up! This’ll be fun! A good bonding experience. Plus Logan and Roman are gonna meet us here too!” Patton looked over to see his best friend scowling.

“Ugh, just great, Princey is gonna be here? Well at least I’ll get to shoot him,” Virgil grumbled as he unbuckled and got out of the car. Patton followed suit and laughed.

“That’s the spirit, sorta! Let’s go inside, maybe they’re already here.”

Virgil reluctantly followed. Curse his inability to tell Patton no. He didn’t exactly love the idea of playing laser tag, but honestly any chance to one-up that gorgeous yet insufferable narcissist and he’d take it. A thought crossed his mind and he hurried to catch up.

“Hey Pat, is Dee coming too?”

Patton was already at the door at that point, holding it open. “Yeah, they’re right here!” He gestured inside to where Roman, Logan and Dee were standing by the counter, chatting about something or other.

Virgil’s gaze lingered on Roman despite himself. He was in dark jeans and that red and white jacket of his. He looked incredible, and Virgil couldn’t deny it. Anything Roman wore made him look incredible. “Seriously, someone that annoying has no right looking as good as he does.”

Almost as if he heard his thoughts, Roman turned to see Virgil staring. He grinned, striking a dramatic, elegant pose. Virgil rolled his eyes when Roman winked. “Like what you see, Hot Topic?”

Virgil glared, hoping the dim lighting in the building would hide his blush. He drew himself up to his full height (which was only a couple inches taller than Roman but still), smirked, and quipped “Aw, Princey, you think I’m hot.”

Roman sputtered in indignation, but Virgil ignored this, choosing to go over to Dmitri instead. The shorter boy was adjusting the trans pride pin on his shirt. “Hey Dee. So Patton roped you guys into this too, huh?” Dmitri gave him a warm smile and hugged him.

“Yeah, but once I heard Logan was coming too, it didn’t take much else to convince me.” Dmitri gazed longingly at Logan and sighed. Logan remained blissfully unaware of this as he talked to Patton about some book he’d read, gesturing excitedly with his hands.

Virgil let out a low chuckle. “He’s still clueless as ever I see.”

Dmitri pouted, then raised an eyebrow, looking pointedly at a spot somewhere behind Virgil. “Not nearly as clueless as you are, V.”

Virgil turned to see where Dee was looking at and saw Roman paying the person at the counter and shrugging off his jacket. He scowled again, steadfastly trying not to check Roman out. “Very funny, Dee. Don’t start that again; there’s no way we like each other.”

“Whatever you say. I still think I’m right, though.” Virgil sighed and gave Dmitri a playful shove.

“Come on you guys, we’re about to start! The first round is a short free-for-all, I think.” Patton said as he beckoned everyone to follow him. They were given vests and plastic guns. The employee assisting them was reciting all the rules in a monotonous voice.

Roman moved to stand right next to Virgil, nudging him. “Get ready to be absolutely destroyed, Emo Nightmare.”

“In your dreams, Princey.”

A bell sounded, and everyone rushed inside. Virgil found a good hiding spot and waited, sneaking shots at other players. He could hear Patton giggling, and then Roman called, “Where are you hiding, Doctor Gloom? Come out and face me!”

Virgil smirked as he peeked out to shoot at a girl passing by and was pleased to see her vest light up red.

“You gotta come find me, Princey!” Virgil spotted Roman and shot, but Roman dodged it. He let out a curse and sprinted to another spot before Roman could find him. He looked out and saw Roman dart around a corner.

Virgil smirked and followed him, careful to stay out of sight of the other players.

***

Dmitri ran up the stairs, preferring to take a higher vantage point. He glimpsed Patton being chased by another player, laughing. Virgil and Roman were taking shots at one another, no surprise there. Logan, however, was nowhere to be found. Just as he was about to take aim at another player, his vest lit up red.

“Damn it!” Dmitri turned, prepared to shoot the culprit back. He saw Logan running away, only stopping to shoot other players.

“Did you seriously just shoot me, Logan? I thought we were friends!” he called out, not really expecting a response. Logan turned, running backwards and grinning as he adjusted his glasses.

“That is the point of this game, is it not?” Logan called back, making Dmitri laugh.

“Alright, nerd, you wanna play like that, huh?” Dmitri made his way to where he’d seen Logan run off to, taking shots at other players along the way. It took him a bit but he finally saw Logan’s hiding spot.

“Perfect opportunity for an ambush.”

***

This was it. Time to show Roman up, see how he liked losing for a change. Another, more unexpected thought crossed his mind: “What if I did something else besides shoot him? What if Dee’s right and he does like me?” Virgil took a deep breath and glanced at the timer on the wall. Ten seconds left in this round. “Now or never, Sanders.”

Virgil snuck up behind Roman and grabbed him, shoving him against the wall. The other boy gasped in surprise but didn’t manage to say anything before Virgil kissed him. Roman, for his part, was so shocked by this turn of events that he dropped his gun. Virgil broke off the kiss, smirked at Roman’s stunned expression, shot him just a second before the buzzer sounded, and walked away.

***

Dmitri took a deep breath before moving to stand right in front of Logan. He was aiming at another person but lowered his plastic gun before he could shoot. “Dee, what are you-” he started to say, but was interrupted by Dmitri grabbing his tie and tugging him down so he could kiss him. Logan’s eyes widened in surprise, gun slipping out of his hand and clattering to the floor. Dmitri pulled away and shot Logan in the chest, his vest lighting up red as the buzzer sounded. Before Logan could say or do anything, Dmitri winked at him then walked away.

***

Virgil’s heart was pounding in his chest. He didn’t get too far away from Roman before he heard a voice call out “You fiend, get back here!” Virgil turned to see Roman running up to him.

“How dare you kiss me then walk away!” Roman seemed genuinely offended, and Virgil flinched inwardly.

“Listen, Princey, I’m sorry, it won’t happen again,” Virgil said, shoving his hands into his hoodie pockets.

It was Roman’s turn to smirk as he settled his hands on Virgil’s hips, pulling him close. “What makes you think I don’t want it to happen again?”

Virgil blushed fiercely, wrapping his arms around Roman’s shoulders. “Oh? If that’s the case, you gotta buy me dinner first.”

Roman laughed. “Hey, you kissed me first, shouldn’t you be the one buying me dinner?” The two walked out of the laser tag room holding hands, much to Patton’s delight.

***

Dmitri made it down the stairs and out of the room to see Patton flapping his hands excitedly. Virgil and Roman were laughing, hands intertwined. He heard footsteps behind him and turned to see Logan turning his gun and vest in at the counter.

“Hey, Lo.” Logan turned to face him, his face tinged with pink.

“Dmitri, I… wow.” Logan seemed nervous as he adjusted his tie. “I didn’t, um, what I mean to say is, will you go on a date with me tomorrow evening?”

Dee smiled and wrapped an arm around Logan’s waist. “I thought you’d never ask.”

A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this story! Reblogs are greatly appreciated. Tell me what you think! If you’d like to be added to (or removed from) my taglist, please let me know by sending me an ask. You can find me on ao3 at Storytelling_Sparrow. Thank you so much for your continued support!

Taglist: @theresneverenoughfandoms @galaxywitchwolf13 @magicallygrimmwiccan @daring-elm @creativity-killed-thekitten @007ardra @princeyssash @demigodnamedathena @khadij-al-kubra @im-shooting-straight @sawyer-saucee @gayzelley @it-me-the-phi @elfarmyenby @sparkedawg @ironwoman359 @today-only-happens-once @areyousirius-noheisdead @madly-handsome @milomeepit @princelogical @silversmith-91 @xxladystarlightxx @poisonedapples @romanamongthestars @ab-artist @ninjago2020 @anuninspiredpoet @justanormalfoot @gemini-the-kitsune-rp @urielthealienboio @queer-guineapig @aizawaisnotstraight

[suppressedanxiety]

Oof. Logan, Roman, what do you have to say for yourselves?

Anonymous said: Logan, Roman, do you really still think this “experiment” of yours is a good idea?

Anonymous said: Good. Treat him like a person you two! Be kind to him and heck, maybe even let Patton in on this before you starve and scare the lil guy into never coming round again! Anxiety is important and hecking valid!

@dragonindigo245 said: Please be careful you two (Looking at you Roman). Don’t want him to be hurt more than he already is. I would recommend you all prepare for if he wakes up while you’re doing this because he mayyyy not react well at first.

Anonymous said: Logan and Roman: Do you think it’s ethical to keep Anxiety trapped in this state if he’s going to be mistreated like this? You should at least make up for your mistakes if you’re not going to let him go… -🐌

@10moonymhrivertam said: You *could* reevaluate the parameters…or you could let him go. But since we already know you won’t do that, please make a checklist or something of things he needs but won’t tell you when he needs them.

@lostchoirchild said: Boys, please do reexamine the experiment. Virgil is too stubborn and frightened to admit anything is wrong, and it will end up seriously harming him. Not to mention what will happen if Patton find out.

Anonymous said: Listen. Logan. You do know that one of the biggest things about conducting an ethical experiment is consent. Like… you can’t just experiment on people whenever you want my dude. Don’t you or Roman just feel the slightest bit of guilt because of what you and Roman have put anxiety through? Especially after those bruises…

Anonymous said: Perhaps this “re-evaluation” means letting him back to his room and treating him like his own person? -🦊

@skeletonsloverockcandy said: Logan and Roman, maybe Anxiety might heal faster in his room?

@ncanspeak said: JUST LET HIM GO BACK TO NORMAL AND LOCK HIM IN HIS ROOM IF YA WANNA TEST YOU BONEHEADS

Anonymous said: Gee Logan, for the “logical side” you sure are dense

@callboxkat said: Uh, yeah, you think, Logan?

Anonymous said: Thank god they finally realized they were idiots I felt like I was gonna have a heart attack

@pansy-chic27213 said: Logan, Roman - before you do anything else, please leave some water and food for Virgil. Cheerios and nuts are great options because they have lots of nutrients and vitamins, and Virgil can eat them whenever he’s hungry without needing your help.

“Anxiety…” Roman faltered. Logan cleared his throat, irritated at his momentary lapse in words.

“Anxiety, though we’ve certainly had our differences in the past, we don’t wish harm upon you. As parts of Thomas, it would be antithetical to his well-being to do such a thing.”

Virgil snorted, face set in a scowl. “Yeah, right.” 

“Yes, I am correct.” Logan grunted in irritation as Roman elbowed him out of the way. “Anxiety, what exactly do we have to do to prove to you that we are genuine?” 

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe let me go?” Virgil deadpanned, leaning back from Roman’s overwhelming presence. “Since you know that it’s ‘antithetical’ for me to harm Thomas? That thing you literally just said?” 

“I said it would be antithetical to wish harm upon each other. I do not believe that you are attempting to hurt Thomas, but actions and intentions are not the same.” Logan pushed his glasses up on his nose. “That is the whole reason behind this trial. If you were genuinely causing Thomas more harm than help, can you honestly tell me that you would continue to behave as you have?” 

Virgil stopped short, averting his gaze in a sulk. What a joke. He knew the other Sides would treat his behavior as unacceptable whether or not it proved to be beneficial to Thomas. Besides, if it was that easy to change, he would have done it a long time ago.

@10moonymhrivertam said: Logan, what does Thomas’s schedule look like for the week?

Logan pinched the bridge of his nose at the clear non-response. “Okay. Consider this, I will offer you a deal. Thomas has a few events coming up this week: a study group with classmates, a campus event where clubs advertise for new members, and a volunteer event a friend wanted his company for.” 

Virigil groaned, already envisioning everything that could go wrong without him there. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because it is the perfect opportunity.” Logan replied. “Remain in this state with us for the next week, and we will be able to gather evidence to ascertain your effects on Thomas and how necessary they are.” 

Virgil bit his tongue hard enough to draw blood. Some ‘deal’. The logical Side hadn’t even attempted to conceal the fact that they would be one deciding whether or not he was necessary, meaning that no matter what evidence they found, he’d be screwed. 

“And then what? You just let me go at the end of the week?” 

“Uh, yeah.” Roman responded. “That was implied.” 

Virgil gave him his best You-Are-An-Idiot stare. “Even when you decide that me being like this is ‘better for everybody’?”

Roman faltered, realizing the flaw. “Well…” 

“Regardless of the results, at the end of the week we will be releasing you.” Logan stated, and they both turned to look at him with varying levels of disbelief. “However, we will be speaking to Thomas about the results of this experiment. I imagine your power will be greatly reduced if he is informed that you: one, are truly not necessary and two, can be overcome for brief periods.”   

Virgil scowled harder to hide his rising panic. The influence a Dark Side had on Thomas depended on how much he feared them, knowingly or unknowingly. He was already so limited from being forced into the conscious mind. Having more power stripped from him could be disastrous. Not that he was going to tell them that. 

He hesitated in turning the deal down, though. If he played his cards right, he could probably fool them into thinking he had Stockholm Syndrome, get them to lower their guard. Make escaping that much easier than if they knew he was going to go down kicking and screaming. If he agreed…. It would make things easier. Who cared about pride at this point?

Still, acquiescing so easily would just make them suspicious. “How do I know that you’ll really let me go?” 

“Prince’s honor!” Roman chirped, and Virgil leveled an unimpressed stare at him before switching his gaze to Logan, ignoring the resulting offended Princey noises.

“Logically, we wouldn’t offer you a bargain like this if we didn’t care mean what we were saying. We currently hold all the power in this situation. We’re perfectly capable of keeping you captive indefinitely, so it follows that there is no rational reason to trick you into this deal. We simply want to work out a compromise with you.” The logical Side offered, waving a hand to emphasize. Roman looked vaguely uncomfortable.

A compromise to ease their guilt, maybe. Virgil kept the thought to himself. “Ugh… fine. I’ll take the stupid deal.” 

“Excellent.” Logan said, and reached out, prompting Virgil to flinch back. He flushed when he realized the bigger Side was simply extending a finger to shake, and slapped the digit away to cover up the moment of weakness. In his embarrassment, he didn’t notice the complicated glance the other two exchanged. 

“Well then, we will take our leave.” Logan said a beat late, and with a touch the walls were back up. Virgil rolled his eyes, forcing his discomfort down, and then jolted in surprise when two new items popped up at his side. 

A scaled-down gallon water bottle and a small bowl full of regular sized nuts. What was he, a hamster? At least they weren’t dishes like a dog’s, he supposed. He watched as the door closed behind the other Sides, letting out a shaky sigh. 

He’d get out. He just had to wait for the right opportunity. 

[inconcieveable]

Chapter 2 bby. Have fun reading and any feedback is greatly appreciated. :)

Chapter: 2

Words: 1.7k

Roman P.O.V.

"Okay, i'll pick you up here later. You should be fine, just remember-"

"To look for the signs, make friends and don't beat anyone up we get it." Remus reiterated. Uncle sighed.

"Just.. be careful. okay?"

"We'll be fine uncle. C'mon Roman." Remus said, nearly dragging me out of the car.

"see you later," I smiled at Uncle as I shut the car door.

We stood in awe at the building in front of us. "Who knew schools could be this big," i whispered.

"I know right. Fucking hell."

We wandered around like lost puppies as we tried to find reception. "Look." I said, pointing to a sign that said "office"

"Thank-fucking-finally," Remus sighed as we started to follow the signs.

/////

"Oh you boys must be Roman and Remus King, correct?" The receptionist asked, noticing us as she lifted her head from her computer, before she went to back to her work.

"That's us. We were told to come here and get our schedules?" I replied, noticing the "she/her" badge she had on her blouse.

"Oh! You're English!" She stated, looking up and giving us her full attention.

"Yep! We're good ol' Brits! Now can we get our schedules please?" Remus interupted, already annoyed at her.

"oh, of course! here-" She said as Remus snatched the schedules off of her. I elbowed him in the rib, somewhat harshly.

"ow! you bitc-"

"be nice" i chided. He responded by growling lightly.

"Sorry for him," I apologised to the receptionist.

"Its okay!" she smiled. "There should be a student coming soon to give you a tour.." She went on, explaining how the timetables worked, where to get lunch and how the one-way system on the stairs worked. Remus gave up listening pretty quickly and instead was looking out for the student that was going to tour us.

"hey babes" I heard as Remus nudged me. I turned to look at Remus as he nodded towards the student. click click. The sound of heeled shoes filled the room. A man wearing big, round sunglasses, a black jacket and obnoxiously sipping a Starbucks strutted into the room.

"Remy!" the receptionist exclaimed "Good to see you. Here are the new students, Roman and Remus king" She gestured towards us.

"hi!"

"sup bitch." Remus saluted. Remy giggled as I turned to Remus exasperatedly.

"I'm Roman. He/Him" I continued, sticking out my hand. He shook it.

"Remy. Also he/him." He purred, winking at me. He chuckled lightly at my eyes widening slightly at his confidence and forwardness.

"Oh, and who is this cutie?" He pondered, moving so he was in front of Remus. He took a slow sip of his Starbucks as he checked Remus out, eyes fluttering up and down.

"I'm- er- Remus. Um- he/him and all- hehe- did you know if you clenched every muscle in your back at the same time you'd break your spine? hehe" Remus spluttered quickly, not used to all the attention. Remy smiled affectionately.

"I didn't. Thanks for the knowledge Einstein. Logan's gonna like you." He said, muttering the last of the sentence.

"Remy dear, the receptionist interrupted. "May you please give our new students the tour so they can get to lunch on time?."

Remus looked to me, confused. "Lunch? Isn't it like half way through first period at the minute?." Remy chuckled again.

"Yeah, but schools here aren't as small as they are in England. It might be a while. Plus I need to take you to the Principal's office and god knows how long that'll take. So come on hon," he gestured with his head towards the door and took another slurp of his Starbucks as he placed his phone in his pocket. click click. I turned to Remus who just shrugged and started following Remy.

/////

It was around lunch, when we had finished being dragged around and severely warned by the principal of the punishments for any misbehaviour. We trudged along through the canteen, making our way outside.

"that's a good spot," Remus said, pointing to a big oak tree, where no one was sitting.

"alrighty then."

Remus plonked down as we reached the tree. "heads up" I called. Remus barely had any time to react before I flung my bag towards him. He caught it milliseconds before it would've hit his face.

Bitch." he scowled as I sat down, a few feet away from the tree. "That tour took us fucking forever," he complained.

"I knowww."

"Why the fuck did we go to the dorms if we aint gonna get one for another week or so?!"

"I suppose it was so they could get the tour done in on hit?" I reasoned.

"Yeah.. Its still fucking shite though." I smirked as Remus sighed dramatically and brought his sketchbook out of his bag. Along with a pencil and rubber.

"I thought Uncle said not to bring that. It coul-"

"I don't give a shit. Let me have this one thing. Be thankful I didn't decide to bring my iPad." Remus scowled. I pouted at him.

"Well what am I supposed to do now?"

"Practice your lines for that shitty play your doing." He offered, throwing my back towards me.

"Excuse me. It aint 'shitty'. Its fun! Plus doing community plays will help me get to a good place in the future. you know this." I defended, air-quoting the word "shitty"

"Whatever. I still don't understand how you managed to find a theatre and audition when we've only been here for like a week and a half." I flicked the ends of my hair obnoxiously.

"What can I say? I'm just amazing." Remus snorted at that and through a crumpled piece of paper at me.

"nerd." He returned to his drawing, ignoring my "offended princey noises" as he called them. I stuck my tongue out at him as I rooted through my bag to find my lines.

Remus P.O.V

Watching Princey practice was always funny. Without fail, he would always go from sitting down, to walking around, practicing the delivery of the lines, script in one hand, the other flourishing through the air, within a maximum of 5 minutes. I leant back on the tree more as I stopped drawing for a second to watch my brother. He was walking back and forth, reciting about slaying some dragon thing. "Don't worry. I will save you! Begone evil Dragon!" he shouted, jumping into a fighting stance. His free arm acting like it was holding a sword. I burst out laughing at him. Roman turned around furiously, shooting death glares at me. Unfortunately for him, this only made me laugh louder. His eyes narrowed at me before he too, started laughing.

"You're a fucking dork."

"Yeah, yeah. Just lemme practice." I rolled my eyes before focusing back on my design. No matter what I did, I couldn't get it to look right. And boy, was i determined to get it right.

/////

"Hey!" a new, chirpy voice said. I looked up to see a kid looming over me.

"can I help you?" I asked, trying to be nice.

"Yeah. I was wondering If you've seen our friend? they're around so-high, chestnut hair, blue overalls, yellow t-shirt, black jacket with a.... double headed snake? on the back." The boy explained.

"nah I don't recognise the description. Why would I have seen.. them?" he asked, noticing the pronouns used and feeling slightly proud of himself for noticing.

"It seems they're new Patton. That would probably explain why they don't recognise Janus and they don't know that we normally sit here." A different boy said. "where the fuck did he come from?!" he thought.

"Its alright Logan. Janus will find us and we can always sit somewhere else for today." the first boy, Patton? ,said.

"But vi-"

"Hold on lemme get that dipshit." I interrupted. I turned towards Roman, who was oblivious to the entire conversation as he was quite a few feet away. "OI TWAT!" I shouted. Roman jumped at the sudden noise and his foot caught on a visible tree root and he fell over, landing on his arse. I, once again, burst out laughing.

"Wha-" He cut himself off when he noticed the boys. He quickly got up and walked back towards us.

"He's much better at things like this." I explained between laughs as Roman arrived, cheeks dusted In pink from embarrassment.

"twat?" The taller one, Logan?, asked.

"Its a British thing." I said, waving my hand dismissively.

"Oh, you're British!" The smaller one, (Patton? I don't fucking know) said excitedly.

"Indeed we are." Roman said, entering the conversation.

I let Roman take over as I tuned out the conversation and focused back onto my design.

//

"I'd draw an extra petal there." someone said. I jumped slightly at that and turned to see someone sat next to me, snickering at my shock. I turned to see that Roman was sat opposite me, the boys from earlier were sat to my left and the person who I could only assume was 'Janus' was sat next to me. I stared into their face, searching for a sign that he was mocking me. "Janus. They/them." The person said, unfazed, confirming my suspicions. Once I felt satisfied with their intentions, I turned back towards my page where they had their hand.

"Remus. He/him." I said as I started sketching. I was trying to draw a rose, with its flowers wilting off. Kinda like the flower from Beauty And The Beast. The movie which I was forced to watch the other night by my brothers demands.

Once I was finished sketching the flower, I saw how much better it looked with Janus' addition. I turn to thank Janus, only to see them looking at me. Smiling at my own happiness towards the now finished design.

"Thanks," I said cheerfully "it looks so much better now"

"No problem," Janus simply said.

"Ah so you've decided to come back down to earth now?" Roman teased, noticing how I wasn't fixated on my page anymore.

"Fuck off." I said, sticking out my tongue. Roman giggled whilst Patton inhaled sharply. I turned to Janus, a confused look etched onto my face.

"Patton doesn't like swearing." they explained. I chuckled mentally. "Well i'm fucked" I thought, Laughing again at the irony.

"well at least he didn't fall over a tree root now," Janus said to Roman, smirking. I started laughing.

"I like this one." I said and everyone joined In with my laughter.

The bell cut the fun short though. We all, besides Logan, groaned as we started to collect our things and head towards our next lessons.

[delimeful]

to taste your beating heart  (3)

Ao3 Link | chapter 1 | chapter 2 |

warnings: blood, hypnosis, tragic backstories, tension, arguing

-

The oven’s beeping was what alerted him.

They’d installed a safety feature in the little panel of knobs and buttons that would chirp loudly if the oven was left on past an hour. It had been Virgil’s idea, after Patton’s forgetfulness caused one too many close calls. 

“I’d like our house to stay not burned down, thanks,” he’d said in that wry tone of his. Patton had been too busy delighting in the fact that he’d referred to them all as a unit, a team, to be offended about the jab at his absentminded nature.

Logan snapped the cover of the book he was holding shut, feeling hot irritation run through him as he forced the memory away. Did Patton really think it was appropriate to burn a batch of cookies now, of all times?

Of course, when he strode into the room and found the oven empty but for a tray of cooling cookies with a sticky note atop it, he changed his tune rather abruptly. 

Went to go feed V! Don’t panic, have a cookie! - Pat <3 

Logan muttered profanity under his breath as he retrieved one of his crossbows from the closet and hurried down the stairs. They had to be stuck down there, Virgil— the vampire likely free of the chair but locked in the room, now with the advantage of a hostage.

He got to the bottom of the stairs and stopped dead, staring at Patton sitting in the chair casually, no vampire in sight. 

Unless Patton hadn’t bothered to lock the door behind him, because of course he didn’t. Logan growled, checking once more to make sure Patton was the only one in the room before flinging the bolt free and the door open. 

“Patton, you cardigan-clad clod—”

He pulled up short at the haze in his partner’s eyes. The blood splattered on the floor. Thralled. 

Immediately, he stepped back, holding the crossbow in a guard position. He desperately didn't want to have to hurt Patton, but with the man’s already considerable strength enhanced by thrall magic, he’d have to use a weapon to stand a chance. 

Patton didn’t move, head tilted just slightly. “It’s... okay, Lo. M— he didn’t order me to attack you guys.” 

Logan carefully lowered his bow, remembering the vampire’s earlier facade, but… this was Patton. Of all of them, he was the most experienced with thralls, and the fact that he was speaking was a good sign. His mental strength was enough that if he was commanded to deceive them, he would simply stay silent instead. 

He rushed over, placing a hand on Patton’s shoulder to ground him. He floundered for words for a moment, throat clogged. Logically, he knew the vampire did not have Virgil’s memories and couldn’t have known. Illogically, his body still felt the betrayal like a physical blow.

“It’s okay, Lo,” Patton offered again, leaning his head into the hand on his shoulder. “It’s a really gentle one. I still feel… all-me. Promise.” 

The reassurance meant more than it would coming from any other vamp victim. When they had first met Patton, he’d been under thrall on and off for long enough that he had learned how to function almost-normally, enough that he was able to give them vital hints to the truth of the case they’d been working on.

He’d almost died for his disobedience, and it was only through severing the thrall bond that they were able to save him. Even then, the mental backlash had been severe. Patton had been dazed and blank for weeks afterwards, sometimes unable to function unless one of them was right there with him, guiding him step by step. 

Virgil had been so protective of him. And now…

Logan nodded, clearing his throat once, and then again. “Can you stand?” he asked when he was sure his voice wouldn’t do anything strange. 

“Mmmhm.” Patton kicked his feet out and hopped up from the chair, nearly falling over before Logan steadied him. He was still holding one hand over the other wrist tightly.

“Your artery—“ he started, alarmed.

“No veins, he only took a little bite of blood,” Patton reassured him, a pleased grin on his face at the pun. “Can’t move my hand… he said to pressurize it.” 

“Ah,” Logan said, a bit taken aback. “Very good. Not the pun, that was very bad. Follow me?” 

Patton paused at the threshold of the room, before stepping carefully over without any twitching or other indicators of pain. “Told me to stay first, buuut then he tried to summon me, so... it cancels out, I think.” 

Such circular logic was Patton’s main tool for subverting thrall orders. If the vamp had gotten out and then called Patton… Logan felt a bit smug. “The hawthorn must have caught him unawares.” 

Patton chuckled. “Silly.” 

Logan paused briefly to turn off the oven before cautiously making his way to the front door, sending Patton a curious glance. He screwed his face up in concentration for a moment, and then pointed a finger up towards the ceiling slightly to their left. The roof, then. 

Taking a deep breath, he strode out onto the lawn and did an about-face to scan the roof. Sure enough, he quickly spotted those eerie eyes glowing in the shadow of their chimney. 

Virgil— the vampire stiffened, body coiling like a spring set to snap before stilling at the sight of Patton trailing behind Logan. He glanced between the two of them incredulously, and then focused on Patton, jerking his head to where their lawn met the road purposefully. Issuing a mental command.

Logan’s worried gaze turned on Patton immediately, but all the man did was twist to look over at the hawthorn bushes and then back at the vampire with a pleading frown. His movements weren’t even stilted, a testament to how easily he had shaken off the command.

“I don’t wanna ruin all your hard work, kiddo!” he called up, making the vampire’s face twitch into an expression Logan only saw on Virgil when he was trying to calculate the tip or a woman hit on him: bewilderment. 

Attempting to distract the vampire from increasing the intensity of the order, he stepped forwards. “Get off the roof, Virgil.” 

A flash of pain on the vamp’s face, gone as soon as it appeared. “Not gonna happen,” he replied, the edge of a snarl in his voice. 

“Are you planning on taking up residence there, then?” Logan raised an eyebrow, glancing up at the grey sky. “I imagine that cloud cover won’t last forever.” 

“I imagine you’ll have fun watching your friend’s body burn to a crisp,” the vampire shot back mockingly, his clawed hands digging into the roof’s shingles. 

Before Logan could respond, the front door was slammed open with excessive force, the sound making the vampire flatten himself further against the roof. 

“Logan! The vamp’s out, have you seen—“ Roman cut off at the sight of Patton behind him, lowering his katana slightly. “Oh, thank the muses.” 

Logan resisted the urge to rub at his temples. Roman strode over, and then stopped dead at the sight of Patton’s half-glazed eyes, his expression instantly darkening. He gripped his sword handle, knuckles turning white as he spoke with false calm. “Where is he?”

“Roman—,” Logan tried, but he was already following Patton’s line of sight up to the blob of shadow on the roof. The vamp looked like he was attempting to merge with the tiles, though he bristled as soon as Roman met his eyes.

“How could you?” he shouted, fists clenched at his sides. “You know what he’s been through, you asshole!” 

The vampire drew himself up, and Logan opened his mouth to correct Roman, but Patton reached him first, bumping him gently from the side. 

“Easy, Ro,” he said, tilting his head to rest on his shoulder. “He doesn’t remember, and I’m okay. It’s a real soft one, doesn’t hurt a bite.” 

“Reusing puns, really?” Logan snipped, relief flooding through him at the way some tension eased from the air. Roman was looking at Patton with unguarded shock. 

Logan understood. There had been a few instances where Patton had been thralled again, seeing as he was their best close-range fighter, and each and every time he had been shaky, drained, and upset both during the thrall and after. To see him still maintaining his cheer now was surprising, to say the least. Perhaps Patton’s insistence that Virgil’s memories remained intact had some merit, if the thrall was this… ‘soft,’ as Patton put it. 

He glanced up at the vampire in question, noting the way he was watching Patton with his own barely-hidden shock. It vanished as soon as Roman turned back to him, a practiced mask of indifference settling on his face. 

“Release Patton from your thrall, bloodsucker,” Roman commanded, breathing deeply through his nose.

“... You’re going to shoot me off this roof if I do,” the vamp responded, which frankly was much better than another ‘not a chance’. Roman glowered harder, and Logan cleared his throat pointedly.

“Virgil—,” he started.

“It’s Anx,” the vamp and Patton corrected at the same time, in wildly different tones. They proceeded to look at each other with wildly different expressions. Roman whipped his head between them with indignation. Logan rolled his eyes.

“Anx, then. You cannot remain up there forever, and you cannot escape.” The vamp snorted derisively, and Logan remained unruffled. “I trust the security of our base greatly. Our friend was the one who reinforced it, and you’ll find there are very few more thorough than him.”

“Great, so he fucked himself over retroactively,” Anx muttered viciously. “As if I needed more reasons to hate myself.” 

“Mno, fight you…,” Patton mumbled absently on reflex. Roman slung an arm around him for support.

“Perhaps we could strike a deal,” Logan offered, seeing that his other teammates were going to be no help in convincing him. “You will release the thrall on Patton, and refrain from biting any of us or attempting to escape again. In exchange—“

“How about in exchange, we won’t shoot you off our roof,” Roman snapped, glaring at everyone but Patton indiscriminately. Logan glared back. 

“In exchange,” he repeated emphatically, “you will be fed and we will attempt more civil methods of negotiation rather than locking you up. Does that sound agreeable?” 

“How about instead, he digs up those stupid bushes and then I leave without bleeding any of you dry? Does that sound agreeable?” Anx snapped. He flicked his gaze back to Patton sharply, making them all stiffen in unison. 

However, it was the vampire who ended up clutching at his head and letting out a choked scream, not Patton. He staggered a few steps forward before collapsing bonelessly into a dead faint on the roof. 

[kurtty-drabbles]

Blue Kitty au (part?)

N/A: Don´t hold your breath for more chapters. It is all thanks to my inspiration. I want to do something here...why most men in the X-men are a bit of jerk? STRAIGHT WHITE DUDE wrote them...Is ok to a dude harassed a woman because said woman can destroy the planet with her finger...that´s their logic (and she wears little because comics) and I want to rectify this.

@dannybagpipesarecalling @djinmer4 @bamfoftheundead @everykurt @muninandhugin

The screen´s lights are dispensing blue, yellow and green lights as Kitty is typing furiously and tinkering Cerebro- Dr. MCcoy and Jean Grey let her give a try as Prof X announced some problems in the Cerebro and Forge is no longer here to help to fix much to Storm´s dismay- and so far, Kitty can testify nothing has gone awry yet. As the baby blue woman continues her work-and she´s focused on her task as if is a natural part of her being- she can hear Logan´s voice still along with some of his friends (Morph and Dr. MCcoy)

"I try to woo Jeanie, as you said" Logan speaks in his grumpy tone and Hank is quick to add he never incentive Logan to go after Jean, instead, he was merely talking about the word woo and how Logan doesn´t seem to fully understand it-if that was an insult or merely a way for Dr. MCcoy showing he understands the meaning of this word, all Logan did is wave his hand to prevent any more philosophical talk to begin- and continues to tell his tale of failure. "and she still rejected me. What I should do to make her choose me?"

And Kitty would laugh- a mirthless laugh with deadpan expression- if this wasn´t so painfully ordinary for some men and Kitty, in all her young years, take instance against prejudice. "I can think of a few reasons for her to reject you. 1) she said so, 2) she said so, and finally, 3) she said so" and looks at Logan who is looking at her in a mix of bemused and peeved.

"What are you? Scott´s fangirl?" his tone is rude and maybe Logan believes if you´re Scott´s fangirl that is equivalent to call one a dirty word- Kitty rolls her eyes and can say she´s not Scott´s fangirl but she is a big fangirl about no more harassment- and Logan took her line as if she´s offending him. "Harassing? Blue, you´re mistaken" his claws are popping now and Kitty is good in hiding her fear- she hears enough stories about Wolverine to fear her for life even if she can shot lasers- and the man growls as he continues. "I´m trying to woo, Jean, show her I´m the man she should be with...not harassing"

Kitty crosses her arms and looks unimpressed. "If a woman says no and you persist...it is harassment, just because you´re a hero or believe to be one...does not mean you´re above everything" Kitty´s toneless and Logan is not happy if that is possible.

Hank and Morph are saying something-either to Kitty stop for her security or to Logan to knock off, to be fair, Kitty isn´t paying much attention- and Logan is in fight instance. "Look, Jeannie is beautiful and powerful, things you´re not, Blue, and if she really didn´t want me...she could have killed me ages ago" and Logan believes to have found her weak spot.

(Alien Queen! Alien Queen! Alien Queen!)

Kitty could runaway- in fact, a part of her wants to run and cry and maybe she would cry if she was a bit younger- and could never again face Logan, yet, all she does is grin and replies. "So I´m two times powerful? Great" and asked in a calm tone- as calm as she can muster as Logan is still scary even if Kitty can use her lasers- "if you like Jean so much...tell me one thing about her aside from her beauty. Tell me what you know about Jean Grey that makes you feel you´re entitled to her"

"She´s beautiful and powerful" and Logan took this conversation over and thought the best response is to fight - his claws are itching to retribute the favor of what Kitty did last week- yet, a maelstrom hits him causing him to meet the wall, again.

Storm is hovering and graceful land on the floor looking not pleased in the slight- is easy to see as her eyes are sparkling and Kitty can see why people would immediately associate Storm with a goddess- and she speaks with regal tone-as expected of Storm- and a cold tone as well. "Beautiful and powerful? Why Logan that applies to every woman in the X-men...are you crushing on every woman?"

Logan leaves the crater charging at Storm or maybe Kitty- even him is not aware- when Psylocke arrives wearing her typical uniform- showing her skin and no shame- as she used her kinetic blades to perforate his arms stalling his movements. "I´m beautiful, I´m powerful and I´m saying no" Betsy adds looking coldly at him.

And finally, Jean Grey arrives - donning with a civil outfit for once- and speaks in a restrained tone. "I´m saying no and that´s the reason enough for you to leave me alone" she continues not giving him room to avoid this or to twist her words. "I didn´t pick you, as you love to call, because I love another man, I don´t pick you because I don´t want...Scott has nothing to do with my decision"

And Kitty can look at Jean´s eyes- green like emeralds and this feels like a cliche, but, her eyes are shimmering so strongly- as she concludes. "You´re in the X-men because of pity and mercy...but my pity and mercy is running thin" she adds in a sinister tone and Kitty can see her fire.

Logan´s injuries are healed- at least to the point he can walk without winced too much- and he ignores the others as he wordless leaves the room- Jean Grey states at Kitty and the gesture almost make her jump. She still can see the fire- and the woman replies in a kind tone. "If you want to take a break is ok...me and Ororo can continue the work"

She looks at Ororo who offers the same kind smile. "You´re working here for more time than it should be, go take a break, Kitty! Trust me, it will need more than that to stop us" Storm promised oozing confidence and Kitty nods-won´t ever admit she does want a break but will accept this chance as is offered- Kitty notices how the other men leave the room and how Jean and Betsy seem to be terse to the point while Jean seems to be more friendly with Ororo.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Rogue is humming one of the immortals '80s while she´s moving to the beats in her head- she was listening to the music in her iPod, but, she burrows to her brother for a moment, yet, the song is still strong and Rogue can attribute how happy it makes her be- and she stops her moves when she sees Dazzler looking at him unimpressed at her.

"Ah not a good dancer?" she asked smirking not phased by the glare.

"Rogue, are you that desperate to the point you would TRY to steal someone´s boyfriend?" Dazzler asked looking Rogue up and down. "What? If Magneto is available would go after him" and Rogue frowns as she takes her glove out.

"Careful, Alisson...one may think you´re scared"

"I trust Longshot...and if you use your hand on me...then you´ll see you can´t steal him"

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Kitty Pryde is in her room playing her guitar and writing a few lyrics here and there as the song she´s crafting is unfinished and not in her tastes yet. "What rhymes with orange?" she asked to no one but herself. And yet, someone responds. "Well, there´s storage" and Kitty´s doe eyes look to see Kurt Wagner on her door-not daring to enter in her room, but, since the door is open he can see and speak with her. His tail is between his legs- and tries again. "Hello, Kitty Pryde"

Kitty remains still for a moment until she puts the guitar away. "if you´re here to talk about Logan...I don´t care for justification for harassment" Kitty states-Morph speak how Logan is not a bad guy. How in the end, he saved people and even an orphan kid, but, that does not justify going after a woman who rejects him several times- and Kurt is taken back by this(either is a shock by her tone and words or by what happened to Logan)

"No, I´m not here for that, well, more or less. I want to apologize for what I did or didn´t do it" Kurt begins still on his spot. "when Logan said those things and I remain silent...I was being a type of person I vow to never be, and I apologize for that"

Kitty nods gently. "Ok, why you have a problem with me?" and Kurt sighs as he is ready to confess- like any good catholic Kurt does confessions- and he speaks looking at her doe eyes (brown eyes contrasting greatly against his golden ones)

"Have you ever meet a woman named Raven Darkholme?" Kitty shakes her head never hearing of this name until now. "Well, she´s trash of person" and he smiles awkwardly. "I´m not one to think bad of women...but, she´s a trash person...she threw me out of the cliff when I was a baby, oh, yes...she´s my mother, my biological mother"

Kitty´s eyes are wide at this. Kurt didn´t let her speak as he continues.

"It was...my foster family who saved me" Kurt can´t consider them Roma for many reasons, but, they did save him and raised him well. He owns at least this. "And she is one of the X-men´s villains...she makes babies and leaves them. She´s also Rogue´s mother...and even though she raised her" Kitty saw his hands clench in a fist for a moment. "she was still a trash mother"

"Ok, what´s this has to do with me?" she asked politely as she can but still confused and not wanting to be anyone´s punching bag, even if emotionally.

"She was the only blue woman I ever saw in my entire life...until you"

Kitty rose from her spot and looks at him. "Kurt, I´m not throwing babies out cliffs. I´m not Mystique!"

"Intellectually I know, but, you´re the second blue woman I saw in my entire life...I don´t know what to do"

"Well, you can try knowing me before judging me?!" and adds. "I don´t throw babies away ...ask me something else, Kurt and I´ll answer"

Kurt was expecting a sneer or maybe blackmail- wasn´t something Mystique would love to do-and yet, here is Kitty offering friendship without hidden agendas or anything like that.

"I was listening to some of your songs on Rogue´s iPod...where did you get inspiration?"

"My first song is just how I imagined the void and Life would fall in love" and she chuckles. "yes, it is about tentacles sex!"

"I noticed...Katzchen, if you have any question about me...ask away"

[sinningsanders]

Experiment

  words: 2000

warnings: bondage, smut 

taglist: @austinsugarplum @stupidfangi3l @nonbinary-gay-trash

@virgilsblogofanxietys @pundefulpapa @your-average-pangirl @iamanemotrashbag @therealmoshar

Being “Logic” meant that Logan was considered the most intelligent among the Sides. He took pride in this distinction, studying hard to show it. So, it was incredibly rare when he admitted to being wrong.

 This would not be one of those times.    “Come on, Lo! Just admit that I’m right, you are such a sub!” Roman said loudly.    It was just the two of them in the Mindscape, with Patton and Virgil out helping Thomas with his latest issue. Roman would have never brought up this conversation around the others. When he was with Logan, he felt comfortable talking about these things, maybe a little too comfortable.    “There’s no way you’re correct, Roman. I’m a naturally dominant person. Additionally, you have no evidence, while I have debate after debate to back me up.” Logan declared with confidence. He turned back to his book, thoroughly done with the conversation. He didn’t see the look in Roman’s eyes as he walked away.    It was nearly a month later that the issue resurfaced. Logan sat in his room, puzzling over the latest schedule he had created for Thomas. He was startled out of his work by a knock far too dramatic to be anyone other than Roman. Turning his chair away from his desk, he moved to answer the door.    “Hello, Roman. What brings you to my room?” he asked. Roman gave him a smile.   “How did you plan to spend tonight?”   Logan frowned in confusion. “Working, of course,” he answered. “Was there something you required my assistance with?”   Roman smiled again, but it felt different this time. “Well, yes actually. See, I’m conducting a little experiment that I need help with and Padre and Hot Topic are busy. Of course, when it comes to matters of science, I’d prefer to have you anyway.”    Logan sighed, thinking it over. “Very well. I suppose I can help for a minute.” Roman’s face lit up. Reaching forward, he grabbed Logan’s arm and pulled him from the room. Logan felt a tug of sorts and suddenly found himself in front of a set of large doors.   “Come in, Logan!” he heard Roman call.    Pushing open the door slowly, Logan stepped into a scene that seemed to come straight out of a movie. Stone floors, tall windows, and rich wooden furnishings, with a large, soft-looking bed in the center. Roman stood by a window, the light turning his hair gold and accenting the elegant maroon robe draped over his broad shoulders.    “Roman, what is going on?” Logan asked, a little overwhelmed by the display. “I thought you said there was an experiment and you needed assistance?”     Roman turned to look at Logan with a smirk on his lips. “I did. This is the experiment. I thought about what you said last month. About your not-so-secretly suppressed submissive side.”   Logan’s cheeks went a little pink at his words. “I… recall.” Roman stepped closer. “Then you’ll also recall that you claimed I had no evidence. Well, the only way to collect evidence is to experiment. A change of scenery should greatly change the outcome.”   Roman stood very close now. Logan was unsure how he had been able to approach without Logan even being aware he was moving.   “How does changing the room affect d-dominance?” Logan blushed harder as he stuttered on the word.    “Ah, I was hoping you’d ask that question. In the Mindscape, you are Logan, the embodiment of Logic, and it helps. Here, however,” Roman gestured around him, “-you’re out of your element. You’ve never been in my kingdom before and your knowledge won’t get you very far.” Roman rested his hand gently against Logan’s chest. “You have no power here.”   Logan swallowed and spoke quietly. “Well then, Your Majesty, what is your hypothesis?”   “I hypothesize that if one was to be removed from his comfort zone and stripped of every ounce of authority, he would exhibit otherwise unseen submissive traits.” Roman’s voice was low, and he was leaning so close to Logan that their lips were almost touching.        Roman spun them around and walked Logan backwards towards the bed. Eventually, Logan was backed into the edge of the bed and he fell onto it. Roman loomed above him, his hands working to untie the belt holding his robe together.    Holding the belt in his hands, he looked at Logan sprawled out below him.       “Can I tie you up, Lo?” he asked, smiling when Logan nodded, suddenly seeming very shy.   Logan knew he was playing right into Roman’s hands, but found that, at this point, he didn’t really care.    “Okay, Logan. I use a system kind of like a stoplight. Green is good, yellow is maybe, and red is no. When I say ‘color’, I want you to respond with one of those, okay?” Roman’s voice was soft, but still held a note of command. Logan nodded, moving up the bed to rest comfortably on the pillows. Crossing his wrists, he put them against the headboard. Roman leaned over him, using the belt to secure him in place. Once he had tightened the knot, he looked to Logan.   “Color?”   “Green.” Roman smiled. “Good boy.”    He slipped the robe off his shoulders and stood before Logan completely naked. Logan barely had a moment to appreciate the view before Roman straddled him on the bed, pressing his lips to Logan’s in a surprisingly gentle kiss. Logan moaned into the kiss, and Roman nipped lightly at Logan’s lips in response before shifting down to his jawline and neck, tugging the collar of his shirt down.    Logan let out a gasp as Roman sucked a mark on his neck, while also skimming his fingers along the skin under his shirt. Moving still lower, he placed teasing kisses along Logan’s stomach. He ran his hands down to Logan’s thighs, squeezing lightly, before sitting up.    “I’m going to take these off. Is that okay?”  Roman asked as he fingered the button on Logan’s dress slacks.  Logan nodded, biting his lip as Roman popped the button. Roman pulled Logan’s pants and boxers down his legs, getting them caught on the shoes he hadn’t noticed Logan was still wearing. Throwing aside the offending shoes, then the pants, then the boxers, he finally refocused his attention back to Logan and his already achingly hard cock. Roman spread Logan’s legs and settled in the space between them. Roman wrapped his hand around Logan’s cock, making him let out a choked gasp. Roman smiled to himself.  

   “Someone’s sensitive.”

     Logan managed a nod in response. Roman set a steady pace stroking him, listening to the small sounds and moans he made, noting that they still seemed to be restrained. He shook his head. Of course Logan would be stubborn. Lowering his head, Roman licked the tip of Logan’s cock, before taking the head in his mouth. Instead of moving down, he kept his attention focused on the tip, holding his hand still at the base of his cock. Logan began to grow frustrated, thrusting his hips in an attempt to feel more of Roman’s mouth.      Roman pulled off with a pop and pressed Logan’s hips back to the bed. “Keep them there. You move again, and I’ll stop. Understood?” His voice was rough. Logan groaned, nodding and biting his lip. Roman paused for a moment, looking to Logan.    “Color?” he asked softly.    “Green.” Logan answered; voice strained with need. Roman took Logan’s cock fully into his mouth, causing him to moan. Roman set a steady pace, bobbing his head up and down. Logan’s moans grew louder and more desperate the longer this went on, body tensed and breathing erratic. He was close, but Roman clearly had other plans, pulling away before Logan could find his release.     “Why’d you stop?” he called, voice catching on the last syllable as Roman took him in his mouth again. Having been so close to his edge before it didn't take long for him to start nearing it again. He didn’t get any closer than before when Roman pulled away from him again. This time when Logan cried out Roman slapped his thigh. Logan snapped his mouth shut, looking at Roman with wide eyes. It hadn't hurt, but Logan also hadn't expected the jolt of pleasure it caused.       “Color?” Roman asked, his tone calm, but Logan could see the hesitation on his face.       “Green” Logan’s voice was breathless.     Roman nodded, leaning over to kiss Logan as he opened the drawer to the left of the bed and pulled out a small bottle. Pulling away from the kiss, he returned to his position between Logan’s thighs. Opening the bottle, he poured a generous amount of lube onto his fingers before tracing Logan’s hole. He locked eyes with Logan to ask for consent. Only when Logan nodded did he push a single finger in.    The feeling was strange, but not unpleasant and, after a minute of gentle movement, Logan nodded at Roman to add another one. The stretch was a bit uncomfortable, this being the first time Logan had bottomed. Roman paused when he noticed the discomfort.    “Hey, Lo, look at me. Color?”    Logan focused on Roman. “Green.” he responded.    Roman nodded and began moving again. He hooked his fingers causing Logan to moan loudly as he hit a sweet spot. Roman smiled using his other hand to bring Logan’s cock back to his mouth. Bobbing his head in time with the movement of his fingers, Roman had Logan hurling towards his orgasm again. Once again, he stopped right before Logan tipped over the edge.    Sitting up, he removed his fingers before leaning back towards the side table and pulling out a condom. Rolling it on, he positioned himself above Logan, looking at him before pushing in. Roman moved slowly, careful not to hurt the other man. He paused after a few seconds and looked at Logan.    “Color?” his voice was hoarse and strained.      “Yellow...please just give me a minute,” Logan panted as he closed his eyes.    Roman started trailing kisses over Logan’s chest and neck in hopes to distract him from his pain.    “Ro, you can move now,” Logan whispered, afraid to ruin the suddenly sweet moment.        Roman nodded, keeping his lips pressed to Logan's chest as he slowly resumed. His thrust was gentle, but Logan was impatient. He wrapped his legs around Roman’s waist hooking his feet and dragging the other man down on top of him.     “Go faster!” he demanded. Roman, however, slowed down more, pulling his upper body away.    “Now, now. It appears another experiment has presented itself. Is Logan a bratty sub or a good boy?” Roman ended his sentence with a quick snap of his hips.     He paused again, waiting for an answer. Logan locked eyes with Roman and whined. When Roman still didn’t move he resorted to begging.      “Please! Please go faster! Fuck me!” Logan pleaded, not caring how loud he was being. Roman finally listened, thrusting harder and faster.     Logan yelped when Roman’s hand made contact with his ass, moaning when the second smack sounded. Having been denied his orgasm three times he was teetering on the edge of ecstasy. Roman reached in between them with the hand he had been spanking him with and wrapped his hand around Logan’s cock.       Logan cried out as he was thrown over the edge, his orgasm painting their stomachs. Roman groaned as his hips stuttered and he followed Logan into bliss. Roman pulled out gently before disappearing into a room to the left of the bed.      He came back a minute later with a washcloth. Cleaning up the mess on both himself and Logan, he tossed the rag in the hamper. Crawling back into bed, he pulled Logan under the covers then against his chest.       “So did you like the experiment?” Romans' voice was soft. Logan nodded as he snuggled close to Roman.      “You should let me help you with more experiments soon,” Logan mumbled before he drifted off to sleep in Roman's arms.