#lockdown livestreams
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Thank you to the anonymous contributor for the suggestion!
I have not included all of the lockdown-exclusive games, because oh my god why are there so many I'm actually going insane- feel free to put them in the replies/reblogs! Anyway:
Lockdown Livestreams are available on facebook or on the patreon, at https://www.facebook.com/ShootImpro/live_videos or https://www.patreon.com/c/shootimpro/posts respectively.
Explanations of the games, if you don't have time to watch them, are under the cut. Thanks to @kingcalimthesnailheart and @meneatyoghurt for helping me figure these out, as well as Celina on the discord!
Dubbed Scene: What it says in the name. Two players mime the scene, mouthing words and stuff, while other(s) speak for one or both of them. Also known as Foreign Film.
Typewriter Terrence: One of the greatest writers of our time, Typewriter Terrence, narrates a story, while others play it out. Similar to the structure of Death for a Dollar, but shorter.
Comment Section: One or more players can speak only in lines given to them by the comment section. Similar to book game.
Bedtime story: One at a time, they tell a story. Similar to Hand of God in older real life shows.
Director's cut: An interview with the director of a new film, with clips of the new film being played (improvised by the players).
Life Game: Interview someone, often a guest, and use their responses as prompts for a series of scenes.
Channel flip: Essentially freeze tag, but with dialogue instead of physical positions. The last line of one scene becomes the first line of the next.
News at [time]: A news presenter presents the news, with headlines suggested by the audience which flash up on-screen so that the first time they see them is during the game. He will also bring in 'experts' and on-scene reporters.
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livestream comments I love a lot
consisting of Tom's wife, AJ's dad, Sam's mum and themselves
#have i mentioned i love pip#sfth#shoot from the hip#tom mayo#luke manning#alexander jeremy#sam russell#sfth lockdown livestreams
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I think my favourite thing about the COVID livestreams is how much we get to see Tom laugh. Like, we all know how hard it is to find clips of him breaking on stage, but then you go and watch the livestreams, and you get to see him just collapsing with laughter every few videos, and it’s brilliant.
#obviously we got that brilliant bit in the Creak in the Attic#and we’ve been getting more recently in general in the on-stage videos#I feel like#and I adore it#but like#he breaks SO MUCH in the lockdown livestreams#and it’s glorious#shoot from the hip#sfth#sfth tom#tom mayo#sfth patreon#sfth livestream
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Ed Gamble being a little shit for 10 minutes but it's just on Elis James and John Robins livestreams and let's be honest, it's mostly to Robins
#ed gamble#john robins#elis james#matthew crosby#elis james and john robins#ed gamble and matthew crosby#my edit#this is gonna be part of the next little shit instalment#some of it anyway#basically a lockdown livestream special lol#still crazy how many people have actually watched these especially the one that is just maisie hahahaha
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ok weird question (maybe??) but- which label does pip go by? cause like i've seen tom refer to them as his wife but that was a while ago so idk has it changed at all??
(the wiki calls pip 'tom's spouse' so idk??!?!)
It’s not a weird question at all! I think it’s good to check these things if you’re ever unsure to be able to be respectful and use peoples correct pronouns :)
Pip uses they/them pronouns out of drag and I think he/him in drag, and Tom refers to them as his wife. (The latest time I’ve heard him refer to them as his wife was on the latest episode of wing it that was recorded sometime around October I believe.)
The wiki probably says spouse just to be on the safe side, but either way the term spouse is still correct cause it does apply to anyone. (That would be a question for @youling-the-ghost :) (who is hopefully sleeping right now))
But yeah Pip is Tom’s wife and uses they/them (and they’re absolutely iconic)
Also I’m just realising I mentioned drag and if anyone didn’t know they are an awesome drag king @ pip.dream on insta :D
#shoot from the hip#Sfth asks#Pip dream#Pip hodgson-mayo#Sfth pip#Tom mayo#Pip is awesome#(I don’t think they were out yet during the lockdown livestreams and they’re referred to with she/her in those)#I might actually be the one who wrote that on the wiki but I can not remember 😅#Thank you for the ask!
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Hello, hope you have a nice day ❤️
I want to ask if you have list of setlist Dir steam in 2020? I try to find it but failed.
I read kyo comment to Toshiya list and said “are you ok?” *correct me if wrong”
I just want to know and listen all of member setlist.
Maybe you have the list, arigatou ! 😊
Hi! My day was nice - I hope yours was as well!
Here are all the members' setlists:





Apparently the setlists were added to Spotify, but you really had to be there for Kyo's setlist, so I'll upload it again for people to witness. It can't be uploaded on YouTube due to copyright restrictions.
As for Kyo commenting on Toshiya's setlist, I couldn't find a trace that he did more than post an emoji with a tear on Twitter after the livestream was finished. That was Kyo's commentary for each of the other members' setlists, in general: for Die, the emoji was somebody exhaling because the setlist had a lot of songs for headbanging, for example.
#Dir en grey#setlists#livestream#audio#Direngrey5days#audio livestream#covid#lockdown#interaction#download
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regret going to bed early last night instead of watching the episode, there was apperently an ashton lore drop?? or something?? i left before break so i got none of it :((
#im watching the rebroadcast now the info will be mine soon enough#but man#wish i stayed up#gonna draw while watching this time so that my brain will pay attention this time#we are on a UC livestream lockdown in there and its making paying attention to anything but uc or my murder show nigh impossible#we are doing everything right this time tho#on my own in my room headphones on while drawing#instead of with my mom in the living room while the tv is blaring something else with nothing but phone games to keep my hands busy#anyway!
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Because Tommy (Jakob) has the Nåjaa smile!
Because Määni (Axel) has a cigarette behind his ear (even while smoking another cigarette)

Because of Freppa's (Kevin) garage!

Om itt he passar herrskapi så får ni fuck off!
(Vörjeans Live på WÖR-TV - Smak ilag fast tär heim)
Why is this so hot (Vörjeans Live på WÖR-TV)
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Babygirl - Tyler Owens x Fem!Storm Chaser!Preg Reader
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ 𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘶𝘴 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘴
hey! i felt in the mood to write something somewhat wholesome so here we are! i’m really sorry if this doesn’t make sense x
Word count; 1096
.*・。゚☆゚.*・。゚
Growing up you had always wanted to chase storms, after experiencing your first tornado at the age of 7 with your mum the second month of you living in tornado alley.
Living in England before that you had never been exposed to the world of storms and what dangers come with it. As you grew up you watched many different storms and the havoc they caused. your senior year at school you had been out on lockdown due to an EF4 heading straight to your high school, that’s when you met Lillie.
You and Lillie have been the only two out of a group of 40 teenagers taking shelter in the hallway that wasn’t scared, frankly - you two were always ordered to put your head down in case the tornado hit because you two were trying to get a glimpse of the storm.
You two quickly became friends after that day, finding comfort in someone else who loved storms just as much as the other. while Lillie heading to college to get a degree in technology which you two could use to get close-ups of future storms - you went into meteorology. That's where you met your now husband and the tornado wrangler, Tyler Owens.
Tyler has caught your attention from the first time you walked into that lecture hall. His tall and muscular frame, dirty blonde hair, and green eyes caught the attention of all the girls in the class, many even tried their shot with him but were turned down and never showed their faces in that class again. Tyler quickly became the face of the class, everyone wanted to be him or be with him. which is why you were shocked when he asked you to be his partner for a project.
During that project you and him grew closer, you two learned about each other and what they could bring to the table in an actual storm-chasing group. At the time, it was a dream, the two of you were going into your last year. The thought of being in a team chasing storms all over was something you would have only dreamed about, because it couldn’t be a reality… or could it?
You and Tyler had graduated top of your class, and this led to getting the attention of many different investors who would’ve loved to work with the pair of you and build an empire. However, you and Tyler wanted to create this dream by yourselves.
You two worked endless jobs, bouncing from city to city to save up for starting this team. You were lucky that Lillie immediately nominated herself to join the group when you first brought the idea up to her when you two were studying together for a final. Along with Tyler's good friend Boone who wanted to be his right-hand man, along with the person getting all the good footage for the viewers.
After many years of working your absolute hardest and saving up all the money you could, you were able to buy your equipment. At first, you were live streaming to nobody, it was obvious the team was slightly disheartened by this and after months of nobody viewing the streams - you had all actually spoken of leaving the group and going separate ways. That was until one livestream someone joined, and coincidentally that’s when you got the first-ever footage of Tyler and Boone driving into a tornado and sitting through it.
In hours the clip blew up all over social media, and thousands upon thousands of people were tuning into the channel and subscribing. the next time you streamed the view count was at 16k. After a time, the team expanded adding in the valuable members Dexter and Dani, viewers, and sponsors pooling into the channel and eventually, you and Tyler confirmed your relationship.
ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Bringing you to now, 4 months pregnant and barely showing. After telling Tyler the news of the pregnancy, he never left your side. Always getting anything you needed even if he had to drive hours for it and miss several big storms. For a while he let you join in the back of the jeep when he and Boone were driving into a tornado, now that you were pregnant however - you had to be miles away so he knew you and your baby were safe.
“Dani, this is the biggest storm of the season and he is planning on driving into it?” your voice was full of concern as you, her, and Dexter all watched the live stream on her laptop from the campervan. Watching the father of your baby drive head-on into a storm really made you anxious. You knew he knew what he was doing, but what if something went wrong?
Grabbing the walker from the front of the dashboard, “Ty? Can you hear me? Please stay safe, our baby needs her daddy home." Dexter and Dani's heads quickly turn to you, mouths dropped as they realize what you just said. Paying no attention to them you watched as the message went through to Tyler on the livestream, and watching his reaction was the best thing.
From when you first told him about the baby he said it would be a baby girl, and that he would be the ‘world's best girl dad’. So, when he heard the sex of your baby on the walkie-talkie, you watched as he and Boone went absolutely mental. You swear the jeep nearly tipped over from the amount of jumping and punching the roof of the car there was, Dani even had to lower the volume due to all of their screaming.
You didn’t have time to join in on the excitement before the tornado hit them head-on, leaning forward in your seat with anxiety, picking at the skin on your fingers as you watched two of the most important people in your life get shaken around while being struck inside a tornado. It felt like hours they were stuck in that position, not being able to move due to them having to be drilled into the ground beneath the car.
When the storm finally passed, you all had let out a sigh of relief. even after years of doing this - you still didn’t know when today was going to be the day it didn’t work and something bad happened to one of you.
As tyler started up the jeep again to drive away and join the rest of you back at the meeting point, he turns up to the camera facing him and points,
“That’s for you babygirl.”
#x reader#fem reader#glen powell#glen powell x reader#glen powell x you#tyler owens x you#tyler owens x reader#tyler owens#twisters#pregnant#pregnancy#tornado#fluff#i love him
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and once again i will say the dsmp has something special in it that i havent seen captured in any other smp. i have no idea what it is. maybe its the fact that it was during the peak of lockdown, maybe its the fact it was solely through livestreams you had to be there for, maybe its the fact that so many different creators had their own complex plots to get into, and all of those things have happened with other smps, but none have shocked the cultural landscape the way the dream smp did. like what is it that makes this thing so special.
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“WHAT WE MOURN FOR THE DEAD IS THE LOSS OF THEIR HOPES.”
I never thought I’d make this post. Any time I imagined a One Direction member dying, I pictured myself weathered and grey. This was an eventuality that wasn’t supposed to be actualized until the boys and I had lived full lives. To have to come to terms with Liam’s death—his perpetual absence moving forward—in my mid twenties feels absurd. I wrote a long thing the day after I found out, so I’ve already gotten some thoughts out. I’m going to try and keep this short. I likely won’t succeed.
Liam was kind. If he’s remembered for anything, I hope it’s that. I know he helped out with food banks in London during lockdown because there were photos of him packing boxes, but I didn’t know until now how much money he gave them. £80,000 without any publicity. And it wasn’t a one-time donation. He kept working with various orgs to help food insecure people. In the week leading up to that unfortunate Wednesday, he gave away thousands to fundraisers—primarily set up to help people with severe illnesses. He’d been part of Soccer Aid for years. He was involved with anti-bullying campaigns. He worked with Rays of Sunshine to make hundreds of sick children happy. Over the years, he also donated to nonprofits that help children in Gaza and other places. The T-shirt he designed for Choose Love has garnered nearly £200,000; Choose Love has been working with the Palestine Children’s Relief Fund and Medical Aid for Palestinians to provide desperately needed aid in Gaza. Liam understood the value of his wealth, and what his social responsibility was. He did his part to make this world better.
All that without taking into account everything Liam did for us. The youtube videos he started during quarantine because it was a way to distract people, give them something to look forward to. His comedic timing was something special. The discord server where he talked to fans and highlighted their creative endeavors. His livestreams, the endless culture-defining tweets he made. I still see people laughing about his tweets. We all remember Mrs. Horan, yes? I mean, go all the way back to TwitCams. Just google the phrase and one of the first videos you get will be Liam’s. From day one, he took it upon himself to make sure the fans were happy. That we felt seen, heard. And he kept One Direction alive for us, on occasion at a great personal cost. He performed deep cuts we’d never seen sung live, he was always so enthusiastic about everyone else’s projects, he never shied away from talking about the band—because it made us happy. He knew what the band meant to us, the blend of hope and nostalgia many of us clung to, and he held on with us. For us. The masses ridiculed him for his clinginess, and he didn’t let go—for us. I’m sure he knew there are those of us for whom the name One Direction still means everything. And how right he was. Look at the global charts for the past two weeks. We’ve made history again. Because of Liam. He had been the glue holding a lot of the fandom together, whether people realized it or not. He brought us all together again in the most heartbreaking of ways.
One Direction came into my life at a time when I was becoming lonelier by the day. I had moved to a new country two years prior, and I didn’t yet have many friends because I knew only enough English to get by at school. Outside of school, I had no friends. They were all back home in the place I’d left. All I had was my two siblings—and when you’re 13 years old, your 14 yr old sister is hardly the person you want to spend all your time with. I didn’t have space for me, to do and to be something that was just mine.
Then I found 1d through a girl at school and they became that something for me. I bettered my English by watching them talk. I found this community because of them, and I have learned so much from being a part of it. So many wonderful people have touched my life because of them over the years, some I’ve fallen out of touch with and some I hung out with just this month. They—and, by extension, Liam—have made me wealthy in friendship.
Claudia, Ingrid, Mery; Thank you for putting up with my insanely specific demands and making headers for me. Ingrid, you’ve been so patient about teaching me how to gif. Mery, I still have your rec list for learning Spanish saved in my notes app. The TPWK print you gifted me hangs on my wall. Cloudy, do you remember that lineart you made of me? I still have it. You’ve all been so kind to me.
Rafa; You have no idea how much you’ve helped build my confidence as a writer. Lyab is a thing of the past now, but those hours you spent fleshing out the details of that fic are priceless to me. I’d never written anything so ambitious before. And, frankly, I don’t think I would’ve attempted a novel if I hadn’t written a 100k fic—which I couldn’t have done without your encouragement. I think this is my first time telling you I finished the first draft of my novel in September. Thank you <3
Yas; Beloved you are so dear to me. You have shown me such kindness over the years, at times I wondered what I had done to deserve it. Not many people check in with me the way you do. I value your presence in my life beyond words. You have so much love and affection to give, and I’m glad I get to receive so much of it.
If I wrote a personal note to everyone who’s in my life because of Liam we’d be here for hours and hours. Jess, Bella, Alex, Jack, Hayley, Hope, Soni, Kayla, Sara, Arsh, Tina, Ola, Cristal, Kylee, Hana, Ali, Antonise, Clare, Abby, Nina, fnh, mert, people I don’t follow anymore, everyone who’s come into my life because of liam—I love you. Literally every single person I follow should be named here because I wouldn’t even be on this website if it weren’t for 1d. You’re all so special to me.
I still can’t believe Liam is gone. I was at the grocery store and it hit me that it’s real, and I thought, no, there’s no way. It feels so fucking weird having this invisible hole in my life that’s never going to go away. But I’ll always be grateful for everything Liam brought into my life. I know I’ll grow old with a whole bunch of you in my life—I’ve already spent a decade with some of you in my life—and I wish Liam got to grow old and weathered with us all.
This is such an inadequate goodbye. I think I’ll keep coming up with things I wish I could tell Liam, or things I want to say to you all. There’s so much history here, so much to reminisce about. He took a piece of my adolescence with him. I’ll miss him forever. Too many of my memories are intertwined with him and I’ll miss him forever.
Sleep easy, Liam. I hope, in time, you’re remembered for your limitless capacity for love and your desire to do better, be better. You deserved more. 🤍
—————
tagging 1d people here because i know many blogs aren’t active on a regular basis. apologies if i missed someone (i’m sure i did). hugs for everyone
@1dclowns @hrrytomlinson @sandiazucar @fookinfreezin @hoeranghae @wlwmermald @tomlinsun @epubgf @heyangel @fireproofs @90sgrungelouis @lirry @iconichalo @itsnotreal @aquickstart @roguecurls @harryscuddles @hoteyelinerguy @babyy-honey @goldencereza @kindathoughtprovoking @kindofsharethat @fuchsiasea @queerbloodyangel @tofiveohfive @aboutmetamorphosis @wastelandbabyblue @delicatepointofview @twentybiqueen @girlcrushau @chaoticsue @chimnation @akasakasads @icouldbeluckyagain @alloutshirt @half-lightl @halohamilton @willowfey @meltedwings @softandslow @loustyles @onedirectiom @pop-punklouis @pridesobright @finexbright @femstyles @baawree @iamnathanscott @avocadolouie @userautumn @niallerer @itsnothesameasitwas @usignedupforthis @svpportive @svncourt
#liam payne#remembering liam payne#this was supposed to post tomorrow but oh well. might as well#seedpost
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OMG remember breadgate, when 'dan howell' was supposedly going on food blogs and leaving bad reviews of bread recipes during lockdown after he did that livestream?
i remember it being such a huge debate and so much fun and i just checked. The anons about it were getting like 9 notes at most. 2020 truly was a ghost town. im bringing back the rumour with a new take: it was actually phil
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Rewatching the lockdown livestreams and I love hearing the boys laugh. You can hear Luke and AJ laughing in the background really well and I love both their laughs so much it brings me joy. They're so obviously huge fans of each other and it's so sweet
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Y’all know what’s truly messed up in this whole Liam situation( besides everything 🤦🏻♀️). That man gave his everything, all the time. He gave his all when in One D, managing finances, keeping band members on track, being the dad of the group and working on song writing for the band. He was One Direction. He gave his entire soul to make others happy then and for years afterward. He spent most of his life doing to make others happy. He gave YouTube’s, TikTok’s, livestreams and so much content during lockdown and kept one d alive for all of you when the world was still. He gave hope and light and laughter through his entire life for the fans and general public to turn on him and treat him like dust after he poured his entire soul into being kindness and laughter and love for that band. He was fed dust by other members when he showed support EVEN IF THEY WERENT on good terms, he knew IT MATTERED TO THE FANS to have that lifeline and so so many of you paid him back by tearing him down over every decision he made, every breath he took. Do you know what it feels like to give your entire soul over to something and have that thing/person tear you down?!?!
No wonder he was such a mess.
I don’t think I will ever not be utterly broken by this entire situation.
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Also preserved in our archive
by: Beck Levy
“Maybe now vocalists will finally start bringing their own mics,” I tweeted in the first days of March 2020. My virtual audience was mostly friends I met by participating in subcultures in and adjacent to the DIY tendency of hardcore punk rock. In those early days, we on the cultural fringes shared a sense that the pandemic, in its capacity as a social intervention, could meaningfully disrupt the oppressive ruling order.
When I booked and played shows before COVID-19 hit, I tried to harness energy and rally when crisis arose. Touring band is lost on the road? I was ready to DJ to keep people from leaving between sets. No one came to unlock the club? Let’s play in the parking lot. The last show I’d played, just weeks earlier during Mardi Gras, was on a trailer being pulled by a dump truck. We’re responsive to shifting circumstances, right?
I couldn’t get a clear look at the new terrain through the brutal haze of my first-wave infection. I was disoriented, waking up breathless, fevered, delirious from nightmares about drowning in my own blood. I could not fathom taking any action that would contribute to COVID-19 circulating, and my symptoms made me believe I would be a risk to my community. With home tests scarce, every flare had me conceiving of myself as though I might be a biological weapon.
Friends texted their fears to me frantically: “Is music over? Are shows done?” I thought back to informal and unconventional gigs, the freedom and potentiality those moments held, and reassured my friends, sequestered in our separate biomes. I said and believed: “Music always finds a way, youth culture always finds a way, underground culture always finds a way.”
Slowly, reimagined, remote, and socially-distanced events returned. In lieu of Jazz Fest, New Orleans radio station WWOZ charmed us with “festing in place” on the airwaves. I did a solo set in a virtual anniversary showcase for my old record label. Another friend live streamed a show from a cavernous church. I’d guessed performances mediated by technology might salt the wound, but desperate for connection, I treasured those experiences.
I watched my place in the world creep away from me. There were rumors of scandalous secret shows during lockdown. But the first real sign was pictures on Instagram of people traveling and touring again. Scroll to that last image: a row of COVID-19 tests, all negative, smug. Or positive, chagrined but only a little; a mismatch to the scale of: “For fun I traveled as a disease vector and personally participated in the proliferation of an airborne pathogen that can kill or maim.” Was it a character limit? A limitation of character?
The world passed me by, carouseling through normalization phases, like COVID-19 tests phasing their way out of tour posts. I watched scenes regroup from my new vantage point in biopolitical exile. Pandemic gloom catalyzed a spate of reunions, which is wholesome and beautiful except for the fact that at least one band knowingly toured with a member who tested positive.
Was I overreacting? While COVID-19 left me with an immune system that attacks my body, my mind attacked itself with this question. I’d traded amps for this mental feedback loop. The counterargument was implicit: people need unfettered access to music more than we need safety.
Live music came back. It just didn’t bring me with it.
I didn’t see a critical mass of bookers, venues, or bands advocating for COVID-19 safety with measures like outdoor shows, improved ventilation, livestream options, or just adding tests and masks to the earplug bin at the door. Some hand disinfectant; a little hygiene theater at conventional venues. The will just wasn’t there. I thought our deal was fuck the state, we’ll do it our way. I found myself slipping through the subcultural safety net that exists for outcasts who are slipping through the cracks of mass culture and late capitalism.
Of course, punk was already inaccessible to some. And I actually believe a certain amount of gatekeeping is necessary to protect punk from posers, jerks, and cops. But among the nebulous community clustered around shows, the sexism and racism people have experienced has always been very real, to the tune of entire zines, books, films about that exclusion. I monitored my heartbreak, critically. Resource-scarce, informal, and underground operations often exist at a quagmire of conflicting access needs. Was the sting of betrayal just this painful because it affected me, directly? Can the subaltern mosh?
There was a brief period where my baseline had plateaued, and I enjoyed medium-functionality between flares. Clinging to my modest recovery, a memorial service was my first congregant risk. That was the last time I tried to play guitar. I got the twisties, psychic vertigo from grief and from the contradiction of my setting and my experience, but the band played on, complete with a brass section. And at that otherwise beautiful event, I was ceremoniously reinfected by an asymptomatic tuba player. My health has been steadily deteriorating ever since.
Isolation is hard: it can feel like rejection, it can feel real personal. I struggled to adapt. I know I can have a persecution complex, but I also know I’m materially being made surplus. So what do I tell the complex? Are people being thoughtless, or do they explicitly not give a fuck about immunocompromised people like me?
Life is never totally safe, danger is often exciting, sometimes risk is the point. I know that. I’m not (just) a joyless scold. In the era of potentially deadly airborne pathogens, we’re playing with other lives when we make “individual” health decisions—I thought we’d learned that, but there was no such reckoning.
Punks accepted the sociological production of the end of the pandemic, moving in lockstep with the state, sacrificing medically vulnerable people on the altar of pleasure, just as the state had sacrificed us on the altar of capital. I thought our ingenuity would create new forms of shows. Instead, it exposed our limits under duress. To quote the band Allergic to Bullshit, “If this is what we’re for, this is what we’ll get.”
Maybe my shock seems naïve—after all, there’s a difference between “subculture” and “counterculture”—but there’s a reason I expected better. There are visionaries with love, passion, and fearlessness who organize shows in strip malls, caves, skateparks, churches, parking garages; shows with immediacy like distributing free Narcan, and conviction, like benefits toward Palestinian liberation. I await, with diminishing faith, the eruption of that tendency in the bioethical arena.
Since immune ableism is hegemonic, congregating is a question of building a realistic threat model, making decisions with people who are directly impacted by your actions, and taking all possible precautions. I’m encouraged by radical formations with accessibility modifications, particularly those connecting social abandonment, climate crisis, and genocide. I see this reflected in art book fairs that require masking, outdoor Shabbatot, test-first leftist reading groups. Queer and drag events are making adjustments. Mask blocs and clean air clubs collaborate, with limited resources, to make spaces more accessible. These are people who insist on collective health, demanding freedom to live and breathe clean air.
For those of us with severe Long COVID, exclusion from live music represents a profound loss of humanity. This disconnection feeds into my daily despair; in medical terms, my depersonalization/derealization. Having hoped this crisis would push us closer to communism than complacency, I feel whiplash, what Naomi Klein calls “political vertigo.” Millions of Americans with Long COVID have disappeared from the workforce. Data on the underground music scene are unavailable. It’s hard to count ghosts. I’ve wanted to ask: Have you noticed that some of us are gone? Do you ever miss us?
Four years later, I still can’t even make it to a well-filtered show. My last recreational outing ended in hospitalization from merely ascending a steep hill. I hear about shows from my roommate, the only person I see, who is also the only masked person at them. I tell myself I could try to go to an outdoor gig one day, maybe, if my governing health planets aligned. Instead of being an active musician, I pretend I’m like Jandek, a reclusive genius, but really I’m too clumsy and unfocused to play at home.
I do what I do with everything: act like I’m in a different world. It’s not difficult, because I am. The Well do their thing out there, I do mine in here. I moved across the country in search of better healthcare and, homebound, routinely forget I’m not still in New Orleans. Either way I am inside. I gave up and I don’t fight the world leaving me behind. I am back here, rolling the boulder of my body up steep hills.
In spite of everything, I’m glad shows continue. It’s bittersweet comfort knowing freaks are getting raucous in basements, with noise made by other freaks, sprayed with wet yells, aggressively jostling with teens; in a reprieve from control, experiencing music together. I’d die for your right to do that. And thanks to you, I just might.
#mask up#public health#wear a mask#pandemic#covid#wear a respirator#covid 19#still coviding#sars cov 2#coronavirus
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