#location: The Late Hag

[maydaymadier]

The Saboteur and The Cornucopia (session 1)

Welcome to our first recap of a Merano campaign session!  All character names are in bold, spells are in italics.  Party members are tagged “merano: [character name]”.  Locations visited (cities, specific establishments) are tagged “location: [NAME]”.  All posts for this campaign are tagged “campaign: merano”.

INTRODUCTION: Along the east coast of the continent of Merano, is The Akonerry Academy of the Arcane outside of the port city of Kerras is home to a magical fountain called The Cornucopia, which constantly pours Goodberry juice.  This fountain means no one in the area needs to go hungry.  However first thing this morning, the team working maintenance on it reported that it was broken.  In the meantime, the normally open campus has been closed.  All evidence points to sabotage.  The head groundskeeper has hired on the three of you to track down the saboteur.

prepare yourself, my notes got long

The three of them meet up at The Cornucopia, a bronze fountain of a sleepy-faced shepherd with a cornucopia slung at his hip.  Delphie (she/her) is a student at the school and was hand-picked from the student body.  Calypso (they/them) is formerly a pirate, currently on Fantasy Parole and is here doing mandated community service.  Hugo (he/him) just saw a help wanted sign.

A big fluffy white dog (Nimbus) comes trotting up to them and brings them to the head groundskeeper's office, Sabine Zhang.  Nimbus is wearing a collar with a Sending stone on it that Sabine is using as a walkie talkie.  Leading them up through the library to the offices on the top floors, she barks once to get her to open the door.  It is a well-used if sparse space.

Sabine gives them all the run down.  Including that only 6 people know how to get into the Cornucopia proper/are allowed to work on it, the passwords change frequently, and all 6 of them have been cleared.  According to the team that’s working on it this year, there is no evidence of forced entry of any kind.  There is no evidence of any entry.  She also suggests that the two main weak points where someone would've gotten in are the flying platform looking over the cliffs used for practicing flying spells and the barred-off openings of the underground tunnels that lead out to the cliffs below left over from the school’s construction.

The party arranges to go talk w the Cornucopia team, Nimbus collects them and they meet back up at the fountain.  Hugo suggests it could be octopi (long story, some stuff happened in a one-shot).

Meet the team back at the fountain, Mayday the half-elf and Misty the felis (both wizards) and Avril the half-elf (artificer),  Avril handles the mechanical workings of the machine, Misty and Mayday work on the enchantments.  Each year three students (usually one from each section of the school but there's no bard this year) are selected under a highly competitive process to be put on the team that gets to work on the Cornucopia.

The team explains that they reported it was broken the moment they came to check on it this morning.  They didn't see anyone/anything suspicious at the time.  Explain that the control room for it is underground in the tunnels.  And the three of them agree to guide them through.

Take an exterior entrance down into the tunnels on the artificing campus.  There's a little goofing off where they check inside a janitor's closet and find a bottle of ~Fantasy Windex~ (magical-strength degreaser).

While on their way, Hugo takes his helmet off to see better in the low light (nat20 on perception), notices wet footprints and goes charging in.  There's a BAMF sound and combat is triggered as two merrow appear.  During combat, Calypso whiffs an attack on one of them but notices one of the merrow say something to the other in Primordial ("The bastard ran off!").  Delphie notices the dregs of Misty Escape mist with a Detect Magic.

Once combat ends, the team comes running back out of where they'd been hiding in the janitor's closet.  Mayday coming to the conclusion that it was a distraction, slams both hands onto the wall to activate the sigils and open the hidden door that leads to the Cornucopia room.  They stay behind to hold the door open.  Misty and Avril, once you get to the door proper, they flank either side of the door to activate the sigils and hold it open for you.

Taking in the room, the magic makes your hairs stand on end, but everything feels dead.  Mechanisms lie still, sigils and runes have had the magic choked out of them.  Hugo can recognize the bard influence on this design, it uses infusions of Bardic Inspiration as fail-safes.

Avril and Misty had been peering around the doorway to keep an eye on them.  But they both take their hands off the sigils when they duck out of the way of a knife that comes out of nowhere at them, the doors close, the party is locked inside.

The saboteur is revealed.  A roguish figure with flat black eyes and half-water hair in leather armor, ready for a fight.  Triggers initiative.

At first, seeing the enemy teleport this seems to be a daunting task.  Calypso enters their rage, revealing a horrifying undead sea monster transformation and unleashing a blood-curdling scream.  A clutch use of upcasted Magic Missile speeds this along.  Everyone whales on him before he can even get a chance to get away.

Hugo offers up a fishing net from his inventory to tie him up with.  Calypso wraps him up in it.  Avril and Misty open the doors again.  Keep going, Mayday and Avril are going to stay behind to take care of this while Misty runs ahead/leads the way to take the party back to Sabine.  She guides them up through a less-traveled, ‘back way’ path through the abjuration tower to get to her office.

Reach Sabine's office, come in and just sort of...plop the unconscious rogue on the ground.  Seeing as there aren’t enough chairs for everybody they all sit on the floor huddled around, petting Nimbus while they explain what happened and with Misty backing them up.  Calypso mentions that the guy is teleporting, the wizards in the room suggest anti-magic.  Sabine pulls out a 'rolodex' of sending stones and calls the dept head of abjuration, Syd to come help.  Makes another 'call' to someone in the city.  Soon after, Syd and 5 city guard come to take the unconscious rouge elsewhere.

She thanks the three of them (plus Misty) and the hired three get paid 100gp each.  They all decide to leave campus and wind down for the night in town.  Go to a tavern called The Late Hag down by the docks, it’s a bit of a dive but nothing all that sketchy.  Have some 'getting to know you' chat between the three of them.  Delphie casually mentions that she’s blind when the others comment on how cool her eyes are.  Hugo and Calypso are taken aback but she explains that while her light-vision is terrible and she’s by all means, blind, she can use divination magic to see magical signatures.  However if something is not magical she cannot see it at all.  The subject of Calypso’s transformation comes up, though they don’t provide many details, just that it’s something they can do.

Finally having a moment to breathe, Delphie puts it together that Calypso is on Fantasy Parole and has a Fantasy Ankle Monitor.  She’d seen some flickers of abjuration magic on their wrist but considering the circumstances she hadn’t had a chance to think about it.  But now, when things have calmed down, she can see the glimmer of the adamantine bracelet poking out of their sleeve.  She makes excuses to try and leave, hiding in the bathroom, Hugo gives her the out when he goes to check on her.

Calypso and Hugo hang out for the rest of the night getting tipsy, they invite him to spend the night when he realizes that he hadn’t made any plans for lodging before coming to Kerras.  Delphie goes home to spend the night at her family's house.  Her parents are surprised but happy to see her.  The night is raucous but with the comfort of normality.

[titan-senpai]

What the hell?? Pt.3

A young lady who was a model lived on earth ended in a tragic way.. and ended up in hell somehow? While she cant hurt a fly.. Right?

Warning: Cursing,smoking.

pt [1] [2]

I don't know how long it's been since I ended up here.. I've joined the Vees as THE Model of hell and ended up as an overlord amongst them.

It's probably been a few years.. The Princess of Hell Charlie was 12 when I came here.. She's almost an adult. so i've been here for a while i guess, my death was a mystery but at the end they both joined me in hell and i made them suffer as an overlord.

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Heels clacking as me and Velvette walked to the elevator to the meeting being fashionably late. As the elevator closed I checked my phone looking at my upcoming shoots for this week. as Vel opened the door on the phone with Valentino as I took a seat and apologized for being late as Carmilla gave me a nod. " R you doubting me? Really me?!" She yelled at the phone " They're all a joke.. I know" She leaned on the chair next to me " thank you see ya soon, Kisses darling" She hung up taking a seat down.

" Nice of you to join us, Velvette... Will your colleagues be joining?" she asked, turning to look at us. Vel quickly smiled " No they have better shit to then listen to an old windbag, who thinks she's tough shit. We're here to represent." She put an arm over me.

'Charming.."She continued with the meeting. " As I was saying we need to discuss.." she pointed at the board behind her as Vel lifted her hand up "Yes?" Carmilla said.

" On the subject of Discussion." She smiled, pulling a dead exterminator's head, throwing it across the table for her, smiling with a grin as I took notes of the meeting... that was getting interrupted.

Everyone was shocked upon seeing the head on the desk. Carmilla looked with a serious look " Where did you get this.." i spoke up "we found it during extermination day." " If these things can be killed, it changes everything, we can take the fight to them" She stood on the desk, heels klanking. "My gang has come up with a full assault plan" she smiled looking at me as i stood up fixing my skirt walking to carmilla handing her the notes about the plan to assault them.

Loud sipping was heard from Zestial as everyone looked at him. "Is it true my colleagues want to start a war with such little proof." he put his hands together "Thou art far more foolish than i thought." My blood boiled "little proof? Its a dead fucking exorist!" she pointed at the head we brought. she crossed her arms as i sat back down in my seat " You going blind..Old man" she said smiling at him.

"We don't know how this perished..mayhaps was not by demons hands at all." he said holding his cup again " if we rush to war without knowing when they purge all of hell for a daring uprising." Hitting his fist on the table.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The meeting was over and me and Vel were headed back to headquarters to rest and I had to get ready for my photoshoot with Angel dust.

as we entered the building i took my heels off slipping on comfortable slippers "That old hag can go fuck herself" Velvette yelled storming inside as i let her cool down.

" How did it go?" Valentino asked me as he looked at his phone. " Nothing much the usual, where is Vox?" I sighed as I took a seat on the couch. " He's at Voxtech doing his daily routine" he inhaled smoke.

rubbing my temples " when will Angel get here.." i looked at the ceiling. as i felt smoke being exhaled " He is getting ready on location. so should you." he leaned closer to my face. " You're right, I'll see you later val. " I stood sending a text to Vel who was pissed in her room. putting on my heels back on and getting in my car.

Soon I arrived at the location of the shoot for a new lingerie set. parking my car reserved for the Vees. getting in the elevator to see Angel dust. "Hey y/n!" he said waving from his chair as they got the set ready. I can say I'm quite close with Angel since he became Valentinos slave. I've been helping him and fighting with Valentino for his sake.

" hey Angiee!" I smiled as I hugged him "Give me a minute, I need to get ready. '' I smiled as I walked to the changing room. making my own lingerie fitting me perfectly. looking in the mirror adjusting tiny details as a necklace, earrings and curling my hair the way I like.

I walked out of the changing room in seconds with floating makeup touching up my face. " Ready I smiled as I made them go away. "In position" the director yelled. " also you y/n!" He yelled angrily as I looked back to him with black eyes with red pupils the complete opposite of what they normally are...

Angelic..

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As we were in the middle of a shoot the door flung upon revealing the princess of hell. " Woah! this is where Angel does his work" She smiled looking around. " take 5" the director yelled "Charlie?! What are you doing here" Angel walked to her. as I put a robe around myself and grabbed one for angel. " You mean us?" she smiled revealing a familiar face.

" Husk?" I walked closer to them. "Whos asking ?" he yelled. I put the robe on angel and me and husk locked eyes. " Y/N'' he looked at me for quite some time. " It's been a while hasn't it?" I smiled, bending down to his height " yeah i haven't seen you since i left.." He smiled. I missed that smile..

That smile could make Hell feel like Heaven for a minute...

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[blazescompendium]

Blaze's Compendium Entry #8:

Turbo Granny

Warning: Faith and religion are important real life topics, that tackles the culture and way of life of millions of real life people. It is a cultural expression, and must be respected by all means. Here, we use a video-game ( some times) and other media series only to ignite the flame of learning about the matter, using its art when well depicted, but we do this with all due respect to the cultures we talk here, grounded by real life sources, cultures and people. And i mean this with respect. Hope you all enjoy.

Turbo Granny is a somewhat modern Yokai that has been popularized lately by pop culture. In 2024, Turbo Granny has made a resurgence due to the hit anime: Dandadan and her apparition in Shin Megami Tensei V: Vengeance, both happening in the spam of just 4 moths.

But before that she also made cameos in the anime Mob Psycho circa 2018, Hell Teacher in 1997 and was first introduced as a playable monster in Shin Megami Tensei Devil Summoner Soul Hackers in 1997. She was absent from the franchise for some decades, upon her return in 2022 for Soul Hackers 2, which coincided with her debut in the -at the time- new manga Dandadan.

Despite that, its origins are so obscure, that I was enticed to dig deep into the lore of this monster and understand if it is even a real urban legend. And here is what i found.

First information that we have about her is that she hails from the Hyogo region in Japan. Supposedly. Hyogo is a southern Region of Japan, between Okayama and Kyoto. Capital is Kobe. So i started by researching about the area, to see if anything about the Region itself has any connections to the particular legend, but did not found anything. The biggest news on the region in the timeline we are looking after was a big earthquake in 1995.

Both western and Japanese Wikipedia pages for this region did not include any mention about Turbo Granny. SMT VV compendium mentions the specific location: MT. Rokko, that is located in the metropolitan area of Kobe. Could no find anything about Turbo Granny on this specific location as well, at the western web.

Addendum: I know that blog posts are hardly scientific accepted sources. However, since we are dealing with an urban legend that survived via word of mouth, this kind of data gathering is the most optimal.

However, using the key words: 六甲山 妖怪 (Mount Rokko Yokai) I could find more content than before. This particular blog mentions some variations of the Yokai, like the way she is called 100km/h hag in Hokkaido, for example. However it lacked any sources and seems to have more of a comedic purpose. Other sites specifically mentions the highways around Mt. Rokko and their tunnels as specific apparitions spots for this creature, but then again no source of whatsoever.

Highway and tunnel at Mt. Rokko, supposedly where the Turbo Granny legend began.

Other Japan web content, showed me the Yokai has been discussed in forums lately, like this one that mentions its resurgence in pop culture as of lately.

But it also mentioned something about the legend being from the Edo period, that could run faster than a horse. And the user speculates that the modern take evolved from there, when cars were introduced in Japan. They, however, provides no source for this information. (Hold this information with yourself for now)

A common thread in all discussions online about this particular monster, be it on Japanese forums, or blog posts, are the outcomes the encounter with Turbo Granny can lead to. From what I could gather, those are:

1- Nothing happens, the granny just scares you. 2-if she passes your car, you get a curse 3- if you passes her, your car will break down completely in less than a week. (Terrifying)

They also speculate that this legend could be from 2ch, which brings us to the first myth about this legend, it did not in fact originated on 2ch! Since the SMT game Soul Hackers, from 1997. 2ch was created in 1999.

But if you keep going through the Japanese web enough, you find more blog posts talking about this Yokai. For example, this other one.

That mentioned the Turbo Granny, but divided in categories. The blog mentioned that this guy called Toshiro Yamaguchi described a version called 60km/h hag that could just run at the max speed of 60 km/h. The Turbo Granny we know can reach up to 100 km/h. Other blogs mentions 140 km/h or as fastest as the target.

This also became a common thread in all registers of this Yokai.

Still in Japanese web, I forgot to check Japanese wikipedia. It got some interesting results, as some interesting variations, and some lore. But only contained one source: This book:

口敏太郎 『本当にいる日本の「現代妖怪」図鑑』 笠倉出版社" In a direct traanslation:

''Illustrated catalogue of modern yokai from Japan that really exist'' This book was released in 2007, 10 years after the granny being featured in the Soul Hackers game, so it is not a good original source.

Sadly I could not find this book anywhere on the internet, only the illustration it has about the Turbo Grannny:

The Wikipedia article states a bit of lore from the book. Keep in mind that I have to use machine translation, so feel free to correct me:

''鞠つきをしている最中にひき逃げされた少女の霊が、自動車以上のスピードで道路を疾走する「鞠つきマリちゃん」[1]'' It mentions that it is the ghost of an once a little girl who died after being hit by a car, playing a ball game in the highway or tunnel with friends.

This is an interesting report, but so far is the only place I have found that contains it. It can be just an invention of the author, or just a regional tale. Other sources generally do not touch on the origins of the ghost.

It all gave me the idea to go at Google Books, and check what i could find on the matter.

You see, earlier in the research I was discussing at Discord if this creature could be a SMT OC, which would be huge. That is because the oldest citation about this ghost was from Soul Hackers, in 1997.

But this was ruled out, going by Google Books, found this book mentioning her at the 29th page, from 1996:

'走るお婆さん: 日本の現代伝說' (Direct translates to: Running Granny: Modern Japanese Folklore)

This book seems to tackle a lot of modern Yokai and Urban Legends in Japan at the mid to late 90s. Its descriptions says:

''A four-legged grandmother chases you in a car at 100 km/h? If you remember the phrase "purple mirror" until you're 20, will you die? If you ride the lion statue in a certain department store, will you pass the exam? Among other urban legends about sex, food and more, the third edition of the anthology that collects and deciphers the modern legends of turn-of-the-century Japan.''

At the 29th page:

(No. 5, June 1994, Issue 6), Kayoko Ikeda's discussion on modern legends titled The Secret of the Running Grandma was published. In that, there are mentions of the Turbo Grandma (with a piece of paper on her back that says 'TURBO' as she rushes by) and the Dash Grandma, who runs along the Tokyo Metropolitan Expressway…"

It also had a mention in the 103rd page:

… There are many modern yokai, like Turbo Grandma, who chase after motorcycles and cars. Also, there are ghosts that get into vehicles, such as in the story of 'The Vanishing Passenger' (The White Thread of the Earring, page 22). These eerie phenomena often manifest when they are reflected in the rear view mirror, often occurring around 2:00 AM…"

This means that we can go even further back, to 1994 as the oldest report of this Yokai. And this book states that it was recorded by a woman called Kayoko Ikeda. I went by her name through Japan web to find her complete list of works, and sure enough I followed the path to the book:

ピアスの白い糸―日本の現代伝説 The white thread- Modern Japanese Urban Legends

Supposdely, this book should mention Turbo Granny, but i can not find it online, nor check its index clearly. There is however, a chapter dedicated to car related Yokai and legends, which can be what we look for. It seems to fit with the page 22, mentioned in the other book.

Ikeda who is a translator of German to Japanese, was involved into it. But could not find much of her work related to Yokai. But she is in fact, an academic.

By this, we can kind of conclude the book White Thread from 1994 was the first recorded instance of Turbo Granny in a book. At least, I personally could not find anything else older than that. The idea of the White Thread book was to report urban legends that were being told around at the time, so it may be just that this was really the first person to write about that.

Similar case happened to the Saci, from our entry #7 in Brazil, which was a popular word of mouth legend up until it started to be recorded in books.

Another name that was hot in this research was of Toshiro/Yoshitaro Yamaguchi (山口敏太郎.). He is a celebrated occultist and urban legends enthusiast in Japan, have written several books, currently also makes videos for the internet discussing the case, but it seems he was a frequent apparition on television shows, and somewhat of an authority in the matter.

For example, Yamaguchi has mentioned the Turbo Granny several times, like this one, where he compares her to other Yokai. But Yamaguchi has published several books, and I lack the Japanese knowledge to verify every one of them, that is assuming I would find it online. But it is clear that he mentioned the creature more than once online.

The other claim I went to check was if the idea of Turbo Granny having an Edo Period ancestor checked. And it kinda surprised me.

By combining Edo period and Turbo Granny in the Japanese web, i was directed to a blog article that aimed to find this originnal legend:

The article traces a parallel to another Yokai: Yama-Uba.

Yama Uba is a yokai that is a monstrous hag, that acts like a witch and often is a sort of Japanese Baba Yaga, or Boggeyman. The connection is interesting, because Yama-Uba is often reported to attack travelers on their ox-cars at roads, and in at least one tale they ran pretty fast for an old hag. The story is called:

''Three Talisman'' (三枚のお札』だろう)

The story is about a monk that was hunt down by the YamaUba, and used its magical talisman to escape. During most of the tale, the Yama Uba was running after him with supernatural speeds.

The author of the article speculates that the parts of the tales showing the Yama Uba running after the travelers, that tried to escape by foot, horse or ox-cars, stuck in the collective mind, and slowly evolved to the imagery of a hag running after cars nowadays.

Yama Uba is a very well documented Yokai, being popular as a bogeyman. There are several tales and folklore regarding her, but it checks out that she indeed had tales about chasing her prey.

Personal theory

Now it is time for that part of my text where I give my personal theory, which is totally my own and based on what I have read and researched. This can be debated and disregarded, but it was my own conclusion. Feel free to disagree with me. And even better, if you are a Japanese citizen who had contact with this legend, let me know and correct me if necessary.

Urban legends are extremely hard to pinpoint, and we can only presume their origins, specially with a big language barrier. But we often can also use deduction and a bit of ''taxonomy'' to co relate myths and folklore that could have birthed the legend, the time and place.

I like to compare this to when a paleontologist finds an incomplete fossil, and have to rely on the closest sibling specimens to try and understand the biology of that animal.

In this case, my Personal theory is that I agree with the said article, and i really think that Yama Uba, and its associated imagery birthed the idea of a hag chasing after vehicles, and people.

If you take a close look, the oldest mention I could find about the Turbo Granny is from 1994, then 1996 and then it appeared again in 1997 in SMT. The idea is that this legend was already been spoken about before the internet exploded, and just slowly was registered. If I had to guess, Id say this legend could have originated by word of mouth in the mountain highways and tunnels of Kobe, in the late 1980s. Those places are naturally where people speed up the most with their cars, and even some times host car meet ups. Initial D is a good example of this culture.

Imagine the big showdown that those two would put up....

Of course, i am not Japanese and i can be completely wrong on that interpretation, but at least the connection with Yokai, and the start of the registration of Turbo Granny is factual and can be assured. It is weird however, that Shigeru Mizuki never registered this Yokai, because even if it appeared as late as 1994, he would probably get to know it. But the man was not all powerful.

I had ran across Japanese people online theorizing the Yokai is a warning against old people causing traffic accidents, but it was just that one person, really. I do not believe much in this theory.

The legend probably spread around Japan during the 90s, appearing in probably occult magazines such as the ones the SMT dev team had access, and the rest is history. Surprisingly Kaneko's commentary on the hag for SH book, has no mention of his sources.

''The ghost of an old woman appears on the highway and runs at full speed. She only overtakes cars without causing any harm, and is more of a frightening presence than a horrifying one. There is also the "Dash Granny" of the same kind. There is also the "100km Granny" which causes accidents in cars that overtake her. It's an old woman running on all fours. There are all kinds of old people, like the Jumping Old Man or the Dash Old Man. Anyway, when you're driving at night, apparently there's one that passes you at incredible speed. Apparently it has the word "Turbo" written on its back, or a piece of paper with that written on it stuck to its back. What's more, it's written in hiragana. Personally, I wrote "Porsche Turbo" on its kimono. Still, old people play a lot of important roles in yokai.'' -Kazuma Kaneko, Soul Hackers Subete (machine translation)

Turbo Granny strikes back: The resurgence of the legend.

Turbo Granny gathered a recent cult following, due to her appearance in pop culture media. SMT was a pioneer in this regard, followed by the after mentioned Hell Teacher manga.

Mob Psycho 100 also featured the Yokai, but due to unforeseen forces, 2024 has became the Turbo Granny year and she is indeed having a brat summer.

When the Dandadan animation hit Netflix at the start of October, the Yokai was instantly recognizable. It became one of the main antagonists and characters of the work, that also dabbles in other Yokai and spirits.

Shin Megami Tensei V: Vengeance not only re added the monster, but also gave her an unique side quest, where you have to hunt down the hag through the pre apocalyptic Tokyo, stop her, and photograph her for an occult magazine.

And finally, my favorite piece of media related to the granny...

In 2017 the Turbo Granny was the star of a Broad Wimax commercial, which is a company that sells internet connection. They commercial was about how their internet speeds were able to be faster than the Turbo Grannyy, and it was starred by a comedian. The whole commercial starts as a documentary, but gets progressively funny.

Conclusion

As any urban legend, Turbo Granny will forever be a mystery in terms of origins and original sources. We can say for sure this was not invented by Dandadan artist nor Shin Megami Tensei devs, since the legend was around for a long time. It seems people in Japan recognize it as popular as the Slit Mouthed Woman, for instance. This makes this Yokai unique because of how modern and popular it is, through pop culture.

Of course, Dandadan mangaka added his own flavor to the monster, but that is part of the fun.

Honestly it is pretty cool to witness that kind of popularity for a specific Yokai, and watch how the legend slowly evolves and change over time. Who knows?

I hope this put your itch to know this hag's history to sleep!

Turbo Granny at the Soul Hackers for 3DS opening.

Special thanks to Eirikr for the help with the Kaneko commentary!

[milaisreading]

🌱🩷: AU where the Reader is Isagi's older sibling and she came to watch him play during the U-20 game. She is the same age as Sae, btw. Let me know if u want a pt2

Warnings: Reader uses she/her. Requests are open

⚽️Blue Lock belongs to Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura⚽️

"I am almost there! Yeah... the game already started?!" (Y/n) stopped in her tracks and took a deep breath as she talked with her mom on the phone.

"Yes, Yo-chan seems to be handling himself very well on the field. But why are you late? I thought you said your exam will only last an hour." The worried Iyo asked from the other side as (Y/n) started running down the street again.

"It was only an hour long. But I completely forgot Yoichi's jersey in my dorm room, and I promised I would wear it." (Y/n) said, smiling down at the blue jersey she was wearing at the moment.

"Ohh... you really can be forgetful at times." Iyo laughed as loud cheers erupted from her side.

"Did something happen?!" (Y/n) asked.

"Did Yoichi score?!"

"Well, someone from his team just scored." Iyo said, causing (Y/n) to sigh in relief.

"Good! I didn't miss his score then... I will be there in a bit! Don't worry!" (Y/n) said and ended the call, sprinting down the street towards the stadium.

'I won't miss is! I swear, Yoichi! I won't miss your score!' She thought to herself.

Once at the stadium, (Y/n) gave the staff her ticket to check it, then ran towards the direction she was instructed to, making sure to avoid the people in the hallway.

'Agh! Where are mom and dad?!' (Y/n) thought as she finally entered the fully packed stadium, but couldn't find her parents anywhere. She looked around nervously, and texted her mom to let her know she had arrived, then looked down at the filed, gripping tightly on the railing as she saw the results on the display.

'3-3?! This can't be for real?! And there isn't much time left either... Yoichi...' She looked down nervously at her younger brother, gripping on the jersey as she noted his exhausted expression. Upon further inspection, the whole Blue Lock team looked pretty distraught and defeated. And while the U-20 team was in a similar condition, they seemed to be in a better head space.

'Yoichi... the World Cup win is your dream, you can't let it go like that... You said you want to become like your idol Noa... And I won't let you miss the opportunity.' She glared at the Blue Lock team, who was arguing among each other and Isagi was just standing to the side. Taking a deep breath, she was greatful for a moment that the place she was at, was located closer to the field.

"ISAGI YOICHI, GET YOUR HEAD INTO THE GAME!!!" (Y/n) yelled, causing a couple, tat was standing next to her, to jump in fright.

The said boy's eyes widened as he heard his sister's voice, and turned to look in her direction.

'Big sis...' Yoichi thought as the rest of his team jumped in surprise.

"The hell?!" Barou and Karasu yelled in shock.

"I SWEAR, IF YOU LET THIS OPPORTUNITY SLIP AWAY! I WILL KICK YOUR ASS!" (Y/n) yelled, her face turning red as Yoichi stared at her in shock for a moment, then his expression softened into a smile.

"Who is that?" Yukimiya wondered, finally spotting the girl.

"Dunno... but she is quite a cutey." Bachira commented.

"Is that a girlfriend of yours, Isagi?" Reo raised an eyebrow as Nagi just sat on the grass, eyeing the girl too.

"GET TOUR HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER AND PLAY! WHAT ARE YOU EVEN SO NERVOUS ABOUT?! THE TELEVISION CREW?! THOSE OLD HAGS FROM THE JFU?! THE U-20 TEAM?! DON'T PISS ME OFF, AND PLAY!!" (Y/n) finished her yelling as a few tears escaped her eyes, and she stared at her brother with a soft glare. Yoichi was quiet for a moment, then grinned at his sister and sent her a thumbs up, then looked back at his stunned team.

"Well, let's finish this. You heard her, I can't let this opportunity slip away."

The rest of the team stared at Isagi in disbelief, he even received questioning looks from Niko, Chigiri, Otoya, Ego, and Anri from the benches.

"Who... who is she?" Hiori spoke up first.

"Oh that... that's my older sister. She is pretty passionate when it comes to me playing. Even more than I am." Isagi chuckled, smiling fondly as he said the last part. This caused him to get various reactions from the team. Bachira and Hiori were pretty much dumbfounded, Aryu and Reo were sending odd looks towards the girl and then towards Yoichi. Barou tried to act disinterested, Rin glared at the ace, a little jealous when he heard that part.

'Why isn't my brother like that anymore?'

Nagi stared lazily at Isagi, also confused over the whole revelation.

'With how Isagi acts, I really thought je was the older sibling.' The albino wondered. Meanwhile Yukimiya and Karasu went towards Yoichi, both putting their arms on each of his shoulders.

"Yoichi, my friend, my man." Karasu started.

"What?" The boy asked, surprised that he addressed him with his 1st name.

"So your sis... does she have anyone in her life?" The crow-boy asked.

"No... why?" Yoichi asked, eyeing Karasu suspiciously.

"Would she want a handsome, intelligent football player then-"

"Or a charismatic, talented model-"

"As her boyfriend?" The duo finished, causing Yoichi to frown at them.

"Stay away from my sister, you two." Yoichi warned.

"Shut up, let's finish this stupid game." Rin warned them, turning to glare at his brother who was dealing with Shidou's shenanigans.

After she finally calmed down a little, (Y/n) felt her face turn a dark shade of red as she realized what she did.

'This is so embarrassing!! Now everyone internationally saw me act like a fool!' She groaned, covering up her face. For a moment she stayed quiet, feeling eyes on her from the audience.

'But...' She slowly removed her hands, and smiled fondly at her brother's back as the game was resuming from the short break.

'Yoichi is worth it... he has so much potential here. I will remind him, even if I am going to embarrass myself.' (Y/n) thought, wiping a few tears away, for a short moment remembering the times she would sit with a younger Yoichi and watch football with him.

'Become the Noel Noa you always wanted to be.'

"Excuse me." A softer voice interrupted her as she turned to look at the direction it came from, only to find a red haired woman and green haired man lookin at her. They both looked like they were around her mom and dad's age.

"Yes, ma'am?" (Y/n) smiled politely as the woman spoke up nervously.

"This might be a little intrusive, but are you related to one of the players too?"

"Oh... yes, the number 11 and ace of Blue Lock, Isagi Yoichi is my younger brother." (Y/n) smiled proudly as she pointed at her brother.

"That's sweet, how you support him like that. My husband and I are her efor our sons, too."

"Sons?" She wondered, only to receive an answer from the man this time.

"Yeah, the number 10 in Blue Lock, Itoshi Rin and the number 10 in the U-20, Itoshi Sae are our sons." The man smiled warmly as (Y/n) slowly nodded her head.

'Oh to be a fly on the wall in that household once the match ends.' She thought to herself, picking up some small talk while sending constant glances at her brother.

"YOICHI!!!!!! THAT'S MY BROTHER!! THAT'S THE SAME LITTLE BOY I PICKED UP FROM TRAINING!!" (Y/n) cried out in happiness as she pointed at the boy when he scored the winning goal.

'You did it!' She quickly dashed away from the couple and towards the barricades to get to Yoichi, who was getting praises from his teammates and some U-20 members.

"Yoichi!!" (Y/n) yelled as the boy turned away from Oliver and looked at his sister. Yoichi grinned and left his team.

"See! Never doubt me!" Yoichi grinned, pulling his sister into a hug.

"I never doubted you, idiot! I am so glad you scored that goal! It was magnificent!" She sobbed, hugging her brother tightly. As the two siblings were hugging and talking, the rest of Blue Lock's team approached slowly.

"Why were you so late tho? And why were you with mom and dad?" Yoichi asked in worry as he pulled his sister onto the field.

"I was late because I forgot the jersey in my dorm room, and I seemed to have gotten a seat far away from where our parents are." (Y/n) chuckled nervously as Yoichi looked at the jersey, only now noticing it had his number.

"Ah? You went all the way for me?" Yoichi asked, happiness bubbling up inside of him.

"Of course! Remember when we were younger? I promised to wear your jersey for every match." She smiled.

"Ah! You still remember that-"

"Uhh, Isagi~ don't you want to introduce us?" The two Isagi siblings jumped up at Otoya's voice, and (Y/n) looked over at the team in surprise while Yoichi sent them warning glares.

"Big sis, my team. Team, this is my big sis." Yoichi said dryly as (Y/n) smiled at the team nervously, remembering some of the faces from her previous yelling.

"Hello, it's nice to meet Yo-chan's team." She spoked up, the team never once blinking or looking away.

"Sorry for the yelling earlier-"

"No need to apologize!" Karasu spoke up and walked up to her, followed by Otoya and Yukimiya.

"Being yelled at by a pretty lady is a privilege in my books." Yukimiya smiled down at her, causing (Y/n) to internally swoon a little.

'He is so good looking!'

"Feel free to yell at me all you want, too." Otoya added in, grabbing one of her hands.

"Hey! Watch it!" Yoichi yelled, but got pulled away by Bachira and Hiori.

"Up close, your older sister is pretty cute, Isagi." Bachira whispered to his friend.

"Bachira, what the hell man?"

"He is right tho." Hiori defended the bumblebee.

"Is your sis into games?" The blue-haired boy asked.

"Is she into younger guys?" Niko asked Yoichi, sending the girl some nervous looks.

"Niko, she is 18." Yoichi argued.

"Just 3 years."

"Absolutely not." Yoichi glared, trying to get out of Bachira's hold.

"You all are being so weird." Chigiri sighed, walking over to the small group. Yoichi sighed in relief as he heard the redhead's voice.

"Thank you for thinking rationally, Chigiri-"

"We all know I am the only one who has any chance with Isagi's sister. We are both cute." Chigiri finished and flipped his hair.

"Nevermind." Yoichi grumbled and watched as his sister complimented Gagamaru's goalkeeper skills, while Aryu pulled a nervous Tokimitsu to talk to her. Barou was standing next to her, adding in some random sentences.

Yoichi tried to get out of Bachira's hold again, but it was proven futile as the other four, plus Nagi now, started asking him about his sister. Meanwhile Reo took his chance and just went over to talk to her, curious if the older Isagi will be left in awe when she hears his last name.

Meanwhile, Rin was staring at the two Isagi siblings, and then looked back at his brother, jealousy slowly bubbling up inside of him again.

[chaoticbardlady99]

I Wondered If I Could Come Home? (Astarion x F! pregnant reader) Part 4

Synopsis: The Hag learns not to underestimate an angry mother and Eowyn decides to make an early appearance.

CW: Mentions of gore, mentions of torture, labor, breast feeding

Author note: thank you for your patience! I’ve had a lot of big life changes lately and have been struggling with my mental health. I have a couple other fics I’m working on that I’m super excited about!

This will also have more parts in the future! I have lots more ideas!

Pic is mine!

You know you need to stay in bed, but you will be damned if you are going to let Astarion face that terrible Hag alone. You knew he’d never agree to let you go with him considering your current condition, but you had always fought side by side together and not being there to protect him feels wrong to you.

They have been gone far longer than they should have been and there is a sick pit in your gut that tells you something is wrong. You don’t know what, when, why, or how, but you have a feeling Astarion’s life is in danger.

Jaheira had caught you sneaking out right away and even though Shadowheart was skeptical about the safety of the situation, she also agreed that something felt off and that they probably should have been back a few hours ago.

So you squeezed yourself into something that you can move in- settling on an oversized Wizard’s robe you had accidentally bought right before you found out you were pregnant. It’s like the retailers knew before you did.

Shadowheart and Jaheira are right behind you as you follow Scratch to Astarion’s location. The hag must not be very social considering the trail has led to a remote part of the beach. You feel even more uneasy the further you go and then you hear it.

Minsc is screaming at someone to stop and then there is a scream of pain from Astarion. Your entire body feels on fire and your rage is bigger than your own body. You can feel Eowyn’s fury too- no one is allowed to hurt her dad.

You storm in and you blast an ice shard straight through Hag's chest and send her away from Astarion. Based on the cuts along his chest- she was slowly, painfully torturing him with some type of weapon. Minsc, Halsin, and Gale are in equally bad shape and are hanging up shackled to the wall.

Astarion is blinded by some kind of spell because when you race over to him- he flinches away from you. His skin is torn up in nonsensical designs and your chest hurts looking at him. Tears are pooling in your eyes, but you have to contain yourself- he needs you to be strong right now.

“It’s just me, Star,” you say softly, “I’m getting you out of here.”

The fear and horror in his eyes intensifies, “you need to leave now!”

“Oh I’m afraid that ship has sailed little spawn,” the Hag cackles, “I didn’t even have to do any of the work- you came straight to me!”

You put yourself between the Hag and Astarion. You stare daggers into the Hag and she looks taken aback. She was a fool to believe you are just a blubbering pregnant woman who enjoys an apple cupcake.

“The only thing I will be giving you is a very painful death,” you snarl.

Shadowheart and Jaheira attack her first and you silence the Hag- preventing her from using any spells. In between Shadowheart and Jaheira’s melee attacks, you throw cantrip and spell hand over hand at the monster.

When the Hag finally goes down, you feel absolutely victorious! You untie Astarion and Shadowheart casts restoration and healing before moving onto the others. Astarion immediately pulls you into him and places lots of kisses on your face while chastising you for taking such a massive risk, but you can also see the shining pride in his eyes.

Then your water decides to break.

“Oh are you fucking serious!?” You shout in alarm.

“What’s-“ Astarion looks at you in confusion and then stops when he sees the puddles on the ground.

“Shit!” Shadowheart is racing over to check on you and puts her hand on the lower part of your stomach, “she’s ready to come at any minute- we need to get you h-“

She doesn’t even finish her sentence before Astarion picks you up and begins rushing back to the house. Everyone is hot on your trail, but you are too afraid to even be worried about that right now.

“My love, it’s going to be okay,” Astarion whispers, “you’ll be okay. Eowyn will be okay.”

“But she’s early,” you sob, “and Isobel and Dame Aylin aren’t here and what if I di-“

“No- don’t even begin to think that,” Astarion scolds you, his pace picking up, “you are going to live through this and we are going to be a family. There is no other outcome.”

You don’t argue with him because you don’t want to scare him. You’ve read a lot about Dhampir babies and their birth. Your understanding is that it’s up to the child whether you live or not- they can either make the labor excruciatingly easy or they can claw their way out of you until you bleed out. You hope that Eowyn loves you and wants you in her life. You really don’t want to die.

Everything moves in slow motion as everyone frantically moves around you. Your contractions came on much faster than Shadowheart anticipated and thank the Gods that Halsin was there because he’s delivered several children before. He was equally as surprised- this is a process that could take hours, days even, but it’s been mere minutes. Astarion asks if that’s a good thing, but neither Halsin or Shadowheart know.

Jaheira and Shadowheart push your legs as you fight through the pain and push as hard as you can. The pain is searing, but you don’t feel like you are being ripped apart more than necessary so that’s a good thing.

“You’re doing such a good job, my Love,” Astarion whispers as he wipes the sweat from your forehead, “you are so so strong.”

Yes, you are. You just fought a hag and then immediately went into labor, but that doesn’t settle the fear in your heart when you are told to push again. The pain just continues to increase but nothing feels scary, if anything, the more the pain increases, the more relief you feel. Not your own, but Eowyn’s and for some reason, you feel like she’s excited to meet you.

So you push a few more times over the next two hours until a high pitched cry echoes through the room. Halsin asks Astarion if he wants to cut the cord and he agrees, but looks like he’s going to throw up the whole time. Halsin is laughing as he shows Astarion how to bathe Eowyn- your poor partner looks like he’s about to have a conniption.

“Congratulations,” Halsin says while handing Eowyn over to you, “you are the proud parents of a very healthy little girl.”

Eowyn stops crying the minute she’s in your arms and she opens her eyes- she has topaz, sun elf eyes with red flecks and you smile widely- she has your eye color!

“Well hello my sweet girl,” you coo, “thank you for not killing me.”

Eowyn is the most precious baby in the world as she squeals happily at you. You giggle and hold her tighter. Your heart feels so so full when you look at her. It was just the two of you for so long and you are so happy to be here to know her.

Wispy, blonde silver curls adorn her head and her ears are adorably pointed. Her skin is the same color as Astarion’s but with more life in her cheeks. Her lips are in a happy little pout and she is inquisitive while taking in your features. Oh and her rolls! She is a chunky little gal!

You understand now what all those parenting books were saying. You would destroy the world for Eowyn.

“And!” Shadowheart pops up from in between your legs, “you’re totally okay! Besides the expected, that is.”

A relieved laugh leaves your lips and Eowyn happily squeals again in unison. Eowyn’s eyes then seem to wander around the room, her head turning ever so slightly. You read that Dhampirs are stronger than normal infants, but you are still weary of her moving without your support.

She doesn’t stop looking around until she meets Astarion’s eyes. You follow her gaze and you smile softly at Astarion who looks so happy, scared, and relieved at the same time. Eowyn offers a chubby hand to him and you watch as Astarion walks towards both of you as if hypnotized. He hesitantly lets her take his finger and Eowyn smiles before closing her eyes and relaxing against you.

“She’s beautiful,” Astarion says in awe, “but she’s also too smart for her own good.”

“I told you so,” you say with a huff, “but noooo no one listens to mom.”

Astarion smiles brightly at you and kisses your chapped lips slowly and lovingly. He sits next to the two of you, his finger never leaving Eowyn’s hand.

****************************

The Hag had overtaken them. Astarion still isn’t quite sure how- he just remembers a big flash and something in the room taking him down to his knees. When he woke up being tortured- he felt as helpless and pathetic as he had under Cazador.

Astarion was certain he would die there or just be there for eternity. The hag blinded him and carved into his skin as much as she pleased.

Hearing your voice had felt like a balm for his shattered spirit, but that feeling was quickly overtaken with fear for you and Eowyn. You were not supposed to be here trying to protect him. He’s supposed to be protecting you.

Today was humbling. You killed the hag and saved him. You then proceeded to give birth not even three hours later and you still had asked him if it would be okay for you to take a nap.

In spite of today’s lack of success, Astarion can’t help but feel nothing but pride towards you as you snore softly next to him in the bed. Your arm is absentmindedly thrown over his torso and Eowyn is napping in his arms. You are truly a miracle walking and it’s in these moments that he still can’t believe you took him back. You’re incredible and you could easily have done this on your own.

Astarion is extremely nervous. He knows he has absolutely no paternal instinct, but he does know he loves Eowyn and you. At the end of the day that’s the important part, right? He can figure out the rest as he goes- he’s smart and quick enough on his feet.

Eowyn begins crying and suddenly that process of thought is completely gone. You stir and begin to sit up with a yawn.

“She’s-“ another yawn cuts you off, “probably hungry.”

Astarion passes Eowyn to you- once again feeling entirely unhelpful. Sure enough, she immediately begins to suckle and her crying ceases. You smile at her and then look to Astarion- your features quickly changing to a look of concern. You use your other hand to wipe his tears.

“Star, what’s wrong?”

He struggles to fight the lump in his throat and to stop the tears in his eyes. You continue to look at him lovingly, providing him with comfort and assurance. Astarion can tell you what he’s feeling- maybe you can even help him get a new perspective.

“I feel so useless and well, worthless,” he chokes out, “I didn’t kill the hag, I couldn’t do anything but watch you be in pain, and I can’t even feed Eowyn.”

Your hand pauses on his cheek for a second before you shake your head.

“Astarion, you saved me from that horrid creature earlier this morning. If you hadn’t been there, I would be chopped up somewhere and Eowyn would be turned into a hag,” you say tearfully, “and I could not have gone into labor without you here. That was one of my biggest fears before you arrived at my door- I just wanted you here with us.

“And you are certainly welcome to try and feed Eowyn,” you tease, “but last time I checked you aren’t producing milk and besides, it’s not your fault. She’s mere hours old and I haven’t even begun to try to fill up a bottle or two for you to use. Just please don't beat yourself up, my Star. You mean the whole world to me and I couldn’t have done any of this without you. Not to mention- Eowyn adores you so you have to stick around.”

Astarion’s heart glows and cracks at the same time. He would never leave you- he may raise Eowyn with questionable morals, but he has no intentions of not being a part of her life until both of you are long gone and his own time comes.

Everything else you said though? It did help to throw the worst of his negative feelings out.

“I never intended on leaving,” he says quickly, not thinking about how his feelings may have sounded, “but thank you, my Love. I needed to hear that.”

“Of course, anytime.”

The two of you talk and obsess over how adorable she is, what features she seems to have from who, etc. You eventually fall asleep leaning against Astarion while feeding Eowyn.

When she’s done, Astarion gently takes her from your arms and burps her like every parenting book says to do. It’s not a ridiculously hard process, but the spit up on his shirt is definitely not his favorite.

“Really? This is my nice shirt!” He whispers at Eowyn who just smiles at him, “okay fine, you can spit up on my shirts.”

Eowyn yawns and goes back to sleep- it takes everything in Astarion not to melt into a puddle. He didn’t think a yawn could be so adorable in his whole life.

You begin to snore softly again and Eowyn is right behind you. Astarion chuckles to himself and places a soft kiss on Eowyn’s forehead.

He’s excited to introduce her to everyone- Dal has been sending letters non-stop asking when she can visit. Astarion has been procrastinating because he knows she’ll bring Petras too and if you hadn’t made it… well it would not have been a happy union.

Dal is already referring to herself as Eowyn’s aunt which made Astarion slightly uncomfortable at first because he and his siblings had never truly been close, but then she visited with Petras, Aurelia, and even Violet during your 7th month of pregnancy and you all had hit it off very well and, without Cazador, Astarion found he actually enjoys his siblings’ company. They are actually decent people now that they aren’t all being horribly abused. Well, Violet may be the exception, she’s still a shit who loves to play pranks, but at least they aren’t painful or out of vengeance.

Then there are his traveling companions- his chosen family as you refer to them as. Every single one of them is going to want to meet Eowyn and smother her in love. He’s most excited to see Lae’zel’s reaction- she’s going to be horrified by how squishy human children are, but Eowyn will win her over.

Astarion decides to talk to you about having them visit once you are awake and if you seem to be feeling much stronger. He knows one thing for sure though- Eowyn is going to have the biggest and most loving family anyone could ever have.

[rallamajoop]

Hi! I saw your analysis posts about the Lords of RE8, and I am absolutely in love! The early concept of the Duke as the fifth Lord always fascinated me, especially since I wonder what "motif" there could have been in term of horror for him. I mean, the other lords all answer obvious archetypes and that ever since their concept art (vampire, werewolf, Frankenstein, ghost). I wonder what would have been the plans with the Duke and his early, more zombified-like version... What d'you think?

Well, as I've said before, I don't think there's much to suggest the Duke was ever meant to be "the fifth lord" in the sense of having his own domain or a big boss battle, or however else you're thinking here. He doesn't appear alongside the other lords in any of the early concepts for Ethan's trial, and all the lords' iconography is big on square corners and blocks in a way that really wouldn't work with a fifth entry. All we've even got to go on to tell us he was ever meant to be a lord at all is a single line attached to one piece of concept art (below). I don't even see him as looking all that much more zombified there ‒ it's just a sketchy art style.

My guess, FWIW, would be the Duke was always going to be Ethan's ally/shopkeeper, but with some late-game reveal that he was a (deposed? former?) member of the lords as an explanation for his implied powers and connection to the village. But the Duke doesn't need to be explained for the story to work, which may be why the 'fifth lord' idea was ultimately dropped.

If you really want to dig into fairy tale archtypes though, there's an obvious one that already corresponds to the Duke, with his horse and carriage ‒ and that's the old, wandering fortuneteller. Typically this would be a Romani woman (although I don't imagine she'd be called 'Romani' in any authentic fairytale), and our hero would more likely be trading money or favours for advice rather than treasure for weapon upgrades, but the Duke fits the bill otherwise.

In fact, as I mentioned in my post on some of the game's unused assets, the Duke actually has a number of unused voice lines that seem to relate to him selling Ethan more information (“You won’t come across this information just anywhere,” “A little bird whispered this to me,” and “Not to presume, but some advice if I may.”) ‒ possibly treasure photos or hints to significant locations.

Fortunetellers and other folk who offer cryptic-yet-vital advice are a regular feature in horror stories too, not just fairy tales. If offended, their role can easily overlap into that of 'witch', for greater monster cred. But for my money, the Duke himself doesn't come across as the easily offended type, so expanding his role into 'monster' might be reaching.

Alternately, you could also look at the villainous Masked Duke from the Shadow of Rose DLC. I doubt he much resembles any authentic 'original' plan for the character, and he's very much his own entity, but he's certainly an effective villain.

(Though if neither of those work for you, given the Duke's size and association with food, 'literal giant who eats people' might also be a fairytale archtype that could fit.)

All that said, I do wonder just a little if there was ever a plan for the Duke to have a proper villain-reveal moment, when you learn he's the fifth lord. I have this whole semi-developed theory that the Duke is actually working on Miranda's direction for most of the game we all played: after all, she seems to want Ethan to destroy her 'false children', and it's the Duke who sets him on the path to do that (with some input from the old hag, our other cackling-fortuneteller-character). It's only once Ethan wakes up in the Duke's carriage at the very end that he unambiguously picks a side against Miranda. After all, even if he was always privately rooting for Ethan, why stick his neck out for a man who might not even survive the day? That's just not good business.

But even if the Duke wasn't working for Miranda from the start, how much do we really know about his motives? It's far too easy to read his eagerness to buy the crystalised remains of mould-infected individuals as the stuff of war profiteering. How much would the additional remains of Miranda, and even Ethan, be worth to him? And these are hardly the only possibilities for what he could really be after!

In short, I would actually love to see more villainous takes on the Duke. Don't get me wrong ‒ I do love that a character as shady as him doesn't turn out to have been Evil All Along, but he's still sinister enough that I'm intrigued by AU possibilities where he has his own twisted plans for Ethan all along, whether as part of Miranda's scheme or all his own. There's stuff you could do here, I'm just saying!

One one final note, people have suggested the owl crest you can see in the background of his shop and the carpet of his carriage was intended to be the crest of his house, and that seems broadly plausible (more on that & translations in my post on everything we do know about the village lords). While I'm at it, have some high-res versions of both from the game assets.

I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that an owl represents wisdom, or how that tracks with his role as a source of information for Ethan either.

Does it actually look like the crests of the other lords, though?

Eh, a little? You'd have to do some heavy reworks to make it fit in a diamond like all the others. As for overall shape, you could even say it bears more resemblance to Miranda's crest.

Does that mean anything? Eh, if you want it to. Who knows?

(I am also going to nitpick you just a little and say that none of the lords was ever a werewolf. The werewolves are the werewolves, the missing lord in your list would be Moreau as the hunchback or swamp monster. We really don't need anyone else thinking Heisenberg is a lycan, that's really getting tired.)

[cator99]

I was just at one of those fucked up type stores today... I was bringing up a bewildering product issue with the manager when he just said "yeah welcome to [store location], everything's fucked"... told him I already recieved a warm welcome, someone stole my jacket from its spot behind register... people here will steal anything that isn't bolted down..... later, someone's shelf slipped out of place with mostly glass jars on and I was called over to help because while they had managed to hold it in place to prevent disaster, they needed me to grab the whole thing and then lift and push it into place... How tf did that even happen........ oh also I watched the manager slap a woman's butt and then call her an old hag and I was like uhhhhhh wtf but she seemed into it and called him an old fart I thought they were just being cheeky and that was maybe his wife (why else would you do that) but after enough time spent in the vicinity of him realized that he had a well established flirtationship with literally every other woman his age (like... late 60s, early 70s??) that came in– knew them all by name, was very direct, very handsy, one was even there with her husband– to which the manager said "what are you doing with my wife?" and they all shared a good laugh and some gropings– Idk dude... the environment here was wack. Horny elderly people everywhere. Being old must be very weird experience and I don't ever see them at the night club so I guess they gotta have somewhere to get weird with each other. It would definitely be at The Fucked Up Grocery Store. But yeah I'm pretty lucky I managed to find my jacket again at all. I think the thief probably snatched it assuming there'd be anything in the pockets and then was pissed to find that wasn't the case n tossed it on the ground in front of the hamburglar. Also a dude had a freakout in the store at some point and everyone was trying to get him to calm down idk what it was about tho because I was focused on playing oat milk shelf puzzles... just another tyler day.....

[wrens-versus-the-world]

"Aha, no" K. Ayato x Isekai!reader

In which Y/n l/n gets isekaied into one of her favorite games : Genshin impact. The only plot twist is that she gets isekaied into the body of a high ranking noble in inazuma. that same noble is to be wed to the infamous Kamisato Ayato.

Genshin Impact does not belong to me, but hoyoverse!

Also posted on wattpad

please note that this fic has some... fancy language (aka me giving chapters some fun titles lol)

Chapter one:

Ah yes, the start of every isekai

Maybe staying up late playing genshin wasnt the best idea...

Located: (here)

Chapter two:

First of all, who the fuck are you?

In which you meet a strange man in a strange room who offers you a deal that you have no mind to refuse

located: (here)

Chapter three:

Introducing the Hag

finding yourself in a new world isnt too bad, until you meet the man who's your supposed father

located: (here)

Chapter four:

And that's how I came to live in a teapot. ehe!

coming soon

located: (here)

[newkatzkafe2023]

Kid scenarios gender bent and regular. Really liked the idea. If possible and when you have time.

Oh goodness let the madness continue

(S/N)=son name

(D/N)= Daughter name

(Lmk Wukong) You couldn't believe that. You will never expect your life to end up the way it was. You were once a palace Warrior Guarding the peaches of immortality and now you've got kidnapped by the one who kept stealing those peaches. And now you're her husband Mildly sick of her affection for you and quietly hitting the bottle whenever she leaves. This was not what you signed up for as you were by yourself again drinking bourbon. You were soon attacked by a tiny figure.

(???) Baba! I found baba!

You look down to see a tiny monkey girl. Who looks exactly Like your wife and that Already scares you. And then you heard other tiny little voices

BABA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh God

Meanwhile with Sunny Wukong She's been pretty down lately. She came back from another date with you. But it seems like you are more annoyed than ever when you got back. She brushes her fur quietly with tears in a corner of her eyes. She knows your marriage has been in a rough patch lately. But she really wants to fix things up with you. But it just seems like you hate her The more she tries.

Monkey (S/N) Are you thinking about him again???

Wukong Looks up to see a little boy sitting on a Nimbus cloud. He look exactly like you but with her sunny disposition.

Monkey (S/N) I would have thought by now that you would know when he's really feeling and when that's just his face

Wukong was confused Who is this tiny cub? Where did he come from? and dad? Was he talking about you?

(Lmk Wukong) As a matter of fact I am He's been loving me a lot less lately and I don't know what to do. Why does my husband hate me😥

The mysterious club look towards his mother. It was no brainer that his father was a tough nut to crack, not mention very anti social. But there is one thing he disagrees with her about

Monkey (S/N) He doesn't hate you

(Lmk Wukong) How would you know???

The younger monkey thought to himself

Monkey (S/N) Follow me please

If the monkey queen was confused but dead what she was asked And followed the cab to a remote location of the island and There the two saw something incredible. It was you sitting in the middle of a lot of little girl. Cubs that look exactly like her. Some were hugging you,others were climbing on Your back. There were two that was talking your ear off and a tiny little one sleeping on your lap. And you know what's the crazy part you're a smiling. You are smiling at all these little girls.

Monkey (S/N) Dad doesn't hate you mom otherwise you wouldn't have all of us

Tears appeared back and the monkey queen's eyes as she feels a lot more hopeful for you and her future

(HIB Wukong) It's Happened again. You and your wife got into yet another argument and she stormed off. Leaving you laying where you were. Why doesn't she get it? You're tired of watching her tire herself apart for other people's approval. And for what her appearance you like her face I should be enough for her. You are proud of everything she does and achieved. Even if she failed, you're happy to know she tried, and that is enough for you. Why can't she understand that.

Monkey (M/N) What a drag😒

(???) We totally get it

That's when you look up to see a pair of Twin teenager Girls who Interesting enough Is looked exactly like your wife but was just as exhausted as you.

Meanwhile, your wife was stopping around brooding to herself when she smacked into a smaller figure.

(???) Watch were you going you hag!

(HIB Wukong) The hell did you call me?!

That's when she turns to see a grouchy Little boy glaring up at her, interesting enough he exactly like you But he was grouchy like her.

Back with you and the two girls You tiredly told them the issues between you and your wife. The two quietly listened to what you had to say before sharing their Thoughts on the matter

1p Monkey (D/N) Mother isn't trying to get the world's approval

2p Monkey (D/N) She's trying to get yours

This confuses you, You thought your wife knew about how You felt about her why is she So Paranoid now

1p Monkey (D/N) You are the only one who treated mom with some kind of decency

2p Monkey (D/N) You were with mama since the very beginning you are her greatest treasure. She loves what she has with you and she doesn't want to lose that.

1p Monkey (D/N) If she has to change some part herself Even if it's a slight adjustment, that means she'll have less of a chance to lose you.

Your stone heart breaks in two as you thought about the twins's words.

With Sunny Wukong she is stopping in the woods back to you next to the boy She bumped into earlier

(HIB Wukong) Ugh Why are you still following me?

Monkey (???) Don't flatter yourself hag. I'm simply trying to find my sisters so we can go home

Wukong did Not like the attitude of this little boy. But it seems to be familiar

Monkey (???) Aren't you the monkey queen?

(HIB Wukong) Yes I am

Monkey (???) What happened to your lazy husband?

That's When will Wukong stopped First of all, who is this kid to insult her husband and second. She should really be getting back to, but she's a little nervous. You could still be angry with her and wouldn't want to talk to her.

(HIB Wukong) Not that you would care of anything but We had a disagreement

Monkey (???) Is that right my old man and The woman always getting into a fight. She would storm off and the old Geezer would stay at home and brood But in the end, the old hag always runs back to him.

(HIB Wukong) Sounds exhausting

Monkey (???) Well that's how their relationship always worked. They would Argue almost every day She could be screaming at him and he could just be giving underhand Insults. But she would always come back home and demand cuddles from him. Dad would tirely hug mom before they give their silent apologies. It may be toxic to the outside world. But that's the only way they're relationships going to work.

Wukong Was suffering a bit of deja vu, That sounds exactly like you and her not that She will ever admit that but that was Dangerously similar. Then it hits her

(HIB Wukong) Hey I think I may know where your sisters are

Monkey (???) I think I know too

The two walk back Is to the cottage just to find you sitting there with the twins. The little boy runs out to his sisters and hugs them, as they returned his affection You and Wukong Is walk towards each other in silence

Monkey (M/N) There seems to be some things we need to discuss together

(HIB Wukong) It seems You're right

You told them hug each other as the Is chids watched the two of you

Monkey (S/N): Man the old hag and that geezer really don't change🤮

Monkey Twins: And we wouldn't have it any other way☺️☺️

(Mk Reborn Wukong) This is war. Tensions were high as you and your wife were on A chinese standoff against what seems to be your kids from the future. Your son was glaring into your soul standing right in front of his mother while you did the same. Your daughter and wife were having a hissy match mini cat fight Trying to display dominance over the other as Your little girl hung from your shoulder. It was a hot freaking mess and Neither master tang or the pilgrims knew what to do in this situation at all. But all I can say is that everybody's possessive Instincts have punched a hole in the ceiling As the family of four afford for their respective Parents and children.

Monkey (S/N) Mama is mine😡

Monkey (M/N) Well I had your mama first 😡

Monkey(S/N) Why??? is not like you wanted her in the first place

Monkey (M/N) Between you and me, I didn't want her. But that doesn't mean anybody else can have Her especially you

You and your son continued to glare at each other and while you're Wife and daughter would just Hissing at each other till one of you submits.

(NR Wukong) You're not sure how this came to be. First of all you're sitting next year's son who Says he's from the future and one of your daughters who is Taking a nap while clinging on To you as you watch your two oldest twins, gossip and chat with their mom as they do each other's make up I'm brushing there fur. Out of all the bizarre things that your wife has caused you to be part of this has to be the The final straw.

(S/N): Dad why is this happening to us aren't we good monkeys😥😢

Monkey (M/N) Well, you are, I clearly did something to the universe to p*** it off. And now i'm married to An immortal crackhead who Exploited my love For alcohol.

Monkey (S/N) I feel sorry for you😔

Monkey (S/N) I pity you the same kid😮‍💨

(Netflix Wukong) It was complete chaos down at the village. The monkey queen and her son From the future apparently Are running to The Town square as the villagers ran in the opposite directions. Not only were they under attack by some demon gang but Her husband and her daughter choose this as an excuse to finally bite the collor off. They flew off the hinges, When the two finally arrived The demon invaders were running for their dear lives. As a little girl, no older than 4 was hanging off One of them while throwing makeshift grenades at them. And then there was her husband running around the battlefield. Chopping heads off left and right it was a bloodbath.

(Netflix Wukong) I gave birth to that?!?😨

Monkey (S/N): You did I was as shocked as you are but dad was pretty stoked so

Wukong Was at a loss for words as she stood next to her son

Monkey (S/N) Although now they're looking at some of these Bodies This would be very good for my taxidermy hobby

Wukong Slowly turned her head to face her son

Monkey (S/N) Don't worry mom I usually wait until they're already dead i'm not A monster

Oh god is this what is like to be the only sane one?😥😥

FEEL FREE TO REBLOG

[walker-extended-universe]

Bodyswap, Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Relationship(s): Geri Broussard/Cordell Walker, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester

Tags/Warnings: Bodyswap, Magic, Confusion, Paranoia, Canon-Typical Violence

Summary: Sam gets settled into his "new life" while Dean and Cas search for answers.

Written for @whumptober Alt prompt 1: Bodyswap

Taglist: @theladywyn, @ihavepointysticks, @klaatu51, @itsjessiegirl1, @neptunium134

-----------------

Dean grunted as he pulled Sam- or at least Sam’s body- down to the dungeon of the Bunker. “You gotta cut down on the burgers, Sammy,” he muttered as he strapped his brother down to the chair in the middle of the devil’s trap.

He sighed and turned to Castiel. “Can you figure out what’s going on here? He was fine when we got in last night.”

Cas nodded and walked over to Sam, pressing his fingers to Sam’s forehead. After a few seconds, he frowned. “I…. Sam doesn’t appear to be in this body.”

“What? So like he’s soulless?”

“No, there’s a soul in there…. It’s just not Sam.”

“Are you sure? Don’t you have to do that soul-fisting thing to know that?”

Castiel glowered at him. “I’m well aware of the limitations of my power. I could do that to learn whose soul this is, but I can tell enough to know that it isn’t Sam’s. The more pressing question is how his soul was transferred, and to where? Did anything strange happen on your most recent hunt? There was witch activity, if I remember correctly.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, it was a witch. A pretty strong one too, one of Rowena’s old rivals. We took her down, but she did try to do some kind of spell before we killed her. Maybe that was it?” It would make some kind of sense; he remembered that kid that switched bodies with Sam several years ago. It was possible, but it took an insane level of spellwork. Was that something she could’ve done on the fly?

“That is possible,” Castiel agreed. “I wager that since it was cast in the heat of battle, the spell may not have had the desired effect, which would explain why it didn’t work until after you two had gone to bed….”

“But that doesn’t tell us where Sam is or who replaced him.”

“No.” Castiel sighed. “I could ‘soul fist’ him, as you so elegantly put it, but I hesitate to harm Sam’s body. I suggest we wait until this stranger wakes up again and try to interrogate them. Based on what I witnessed, they seem as confused as we are. I doubt they’re malevolent. In the meantime, I suggest we figure out what spell the witch may have used or find a way to reverse what happened. The sooner we can get everyone back into their appropriate body, the better.”

Dean couldn’t agree more. “Alright. Sam grabbed some of the old hag’s books, so we can start there. Maybe we could call Rowena, just in case. She might know something about soul transfer shit.”

“I agree. I will keep a watch over our new friend while you investigate, just in case he wakes up soon or he’s not as friendly as I hope.”

Dean hated being relegated to research, but nodded. “Sounds like a plan. Shout if anything happens.”

“I will,” Castiel promised.

—-----------------

Sam had worked side-by-side with law enforcement on several occasions over the years. He’d used fake badges to get access to case files, intimidated his way into meetings with coroners, and occasionally given a lucky officer insight into what real monsters looked like.

Despite his many years of varied experience, Sam felt woefully unprepared for a day pretending to be a Texas Ranger.

Could he have called and taken a day off? Sure. But he was curious to know more about what he’d gotten dropped into so attempting to leave the ranch he woke up on was step number one. Since he was, in fact, able to drive away and arrive at a completely new location (even if he was late because he got lost), that told him it was unlikely this was some kind of simulation or heavily guarded facility. Not even the British men of letters could make a city appear out of thin air like this.

However, there was still a chance he was stuck in some sort of dream state or that he was being closely watched for…something. Whatever the reasoning was, he needed to play along and try not to break the rules, whatever those rules may be.

It never occurred to him that there might not be a game at hand at all, that he was rather just unlucky after a run in with a witch, but when were things ever that simple for him?

Unfortunately, Sam couldn’t seem to get a grip on what, exactly, he was supposed to be doing or how he was supposed to act. Getting into his computer had been easy enough as there was a well-hidden note with his password information. There were no active cases as far as he could tell and he wasn’t meant to go on patrol today. However, there were several reminders about paperwork that was due for something to do with a jackal and he didn’t even know where to start with that.

Apparently, the character he was supposed to be playing was really bad at the admin side of his job because he couldn’t even find any blank paperwork around his desk and he didn’t want to arouse suspicion by trying to ask someone. He spent a good half-hour sorting through his emails to at least find a template to go off of, which was surprisingly fruitful. Once the templates were printed out, he sat back at his desk and grabbed a pen to get to work.

Only… he had no clue what to write. He hadn’t worked this case, and searching through his computer only brought up documents from a different case that had closed five years ago. Was that case even related to what he was supposed to do now? He had no idea. And he definitely couldn’t ask someone about it. This stuff was usually pretty classified and given the amount of cluttered decorations on his desk, he’d been at this job for a while. Letting his coworkers know he’d suddenly forgotten everything would only arouse suspicion.

Maybe he should’ve taken the day off after all. He could’ve faked an illness and spent the day looking for hex bags. Or maybe he could’ve taken a bigger risk and attacked his “family” to try to get information out of them. Either of those would’ve been more productive.

“Walker? You feeling okay?”

Sam startled, dropping his pen and looked up to see a man looming over his desk. Probably the “James” that had been bugging him with emails. “Uh, yeah. I’m fine. Just- paperwork, you know?” He tried to fake a smile. 

James nodded slowly. “Right…. Look, I understand the Jackal case was rough on you. It was hard on all of us. I know taking a leave of absence helped but…. Maybe you aren’t ready to get back into things.”

“I’m fine, sir,” Sam insisted. “I’m just trying to get my head clear on the details.”

“I’m sure.” James didn’t seem convinced. “Look, why don’t you just go home early today and tomorrow we’ll talk more. I’m going to insist you take that therapy option.”

“I don’t need-”

“This isn’t negotiable, Walker. I need you sharp; you’re the best man in my office and you’ve dealt with worse before. Just take some time off, enjoy an afternoon with your family, and we’ll talk tomorrow. Okay?”

Sam wanted to argue more, but decided to take the out in front of him. Fighting this would probably only cause problems for him later. Besides, that was more investigating time for him. “Okay, sir. I’ll…see you tomorrow.”

“Good man.” James clapped his shoulder as he walked past his desk and Sam waited until he was out of sight before packing up and leaving.

He had work to do.

—--------------

Geri had gotten the call from Cassie that something was off with Cordell at work and decided to take her afternoon off as well to help deal with it. She knew The Jackal case had been difficult for him (even if part of that suffering was self-inflicted) and she hated that it was still bothering him like this. She wished he would just open up to him about his problems, but she also knew that would be a long, hard battle.

Still, she had to try. What kind of girlfriend would she be if she didn’t? So, she drove to his house and, seeing she was there before him, decided to make them some lunch. Hard conversations usually went better with food.

By the time Cordell got home, she had freshly toasted sandwiches put on plates and ready to eat. “Hey!” she greeted, smiling brightly as he entered the door.

He looked at her wide-eyed. “Hey…. What are you doing here?” he asked carefully.

“I heard you had a rough day at work so I figured you could use a little pick-me-up. And let you know if you wanted to talk about anything, I’m here.”

He nodded slowly. “Right…. You didn’t have to do that.”

She shrugged. “I wanted to. Now, eat, before your mother decides to butt in.”

That got a small laugh out of him and Geri counted that as a win.

She waited until Cordell was well into eating his sandwich before she tried pushing the subject. “So, about what happened at work…. Are you feeling okay?”

Cordell slowed his chewing and stared at her, searching her face for…something.

Once he was done, he set down the other half of his sandwich and folded his hands in front of his chin. “Do you ever feel like…you woke up one day and now you’re living someone else’s life?”

Geri’s heart ached for him. She knew his job had caused him and his family grief over the years, but he’d always been determined for the cause. Maybe all the strain and stress was starting to wear on him and the Jackal was just the straw that broke the camel’s back. Or, maybe with Stella and August moving on in their lives, he was starting to look at his own future and past regrets. 

“Sometimes,” she admitted. “I remember when I took over the Side Step after Frank died…. It was like I was just playing a simulation game, just going through the motions until I reached some arbitrary goal.” She reached across the table and squeezed his hand. “You know I’m always here for you, right? No matter what you decide you want for the future?”

Cordell’s eyes never left hers. “What if I’m not the person you think I am?”

“Then I’d love to get to know you better.”

“What if I told you something that didn’t make any sense?”

“Then I’d help you figure it out until I did.”

“Even if that meant losing me forever?”

“If that’s what’s best for you….” It would hurt, but she would do it. “What’s with the existential questions?”

He looked back down at his plate. “Nothing. Just- thinking.”

She nodded. “I understand. But I’m still here, Cordi. No matter what.”

That earned her a small smile. “Thanks.”

“Anytime.”

[shunin-gumis]

Designs of Happiness - Track A23

L4mps Main Story Translation

Title: Night at the Daimon Yokocho

Characters: Ryui, Nagi, Toi, Yodaka, Daniel

Summary: Ryui is alone at an izakaya, where Toi has suddenly appeared. However, Toi seems to be different from usual… 

Thank you aca @/463ce6, myun @/myuntachis Niri @/Niri_riri and jes @/arcanecrayonn for helping me with proofing!

Location: Hakodate -  Daimon Yokocho, Izakaya

Drunkard A: Lookie here, how much money do ya think I’m packing right now!? …Tada! It’s 3 million yen! From my company~

Drunkard B: Hey dumbass, don’t go showin’ off! What if my greed gets the better of me, huh!?

Proprietress: Now, now, let’s figure out how to split this between us, shall we? 

Elderly Lady: What a great idea~ I’m all for it! 

Ryui: …… 

Drunkard A: Mama, another lemon sour for me! 

Proprietress: I can do that, but are you sure you’re not drinking too much? Don’t you have work tomorrow? 

Elderly Lady: With all that money, maybe he was hoping to run off to another country… Ufufu! 

Ryui: Tch… This place is fuckin’ noisy, as usual.

Proprietress: Eyepatch kid, you want some more pickled mackerel? 

Ryui: …Stop calling me that. And yes. 

Proprietress: I thought so~ You always get these when you come here. 

Elderly Lady: It’s because the ones you get here are so delicious! 

Drunkard C: Hey eyepatch kid, been seein’ you ‘round these parts a lot lately. You moved here, or what!? 

Ryui: …No. I’m here because I have no other choice. 

Drunkard B: Hoho! As a symbol of our friendship, let me treat ya to whatever you want!

Proprietress: It’s just a drop of sake cut with water… So it practically is just water.

Drunkard C: Whaa… Ya must be makin’ a killin’ with that, Mama!

Drunkard A: Pfft, did ya have to serve it with an eye-dropper?

Drunkard B: Gahaha! Ain’t no way!

Ryui: I’ll fuckin’ kill you… 

Proprietress: Now, don’t be mean to him. Sorry about that, eyepatch kid. You can have this on the house, so please forgive them

Ryui: …tch.

Proprietress: You’ve come from somewhere far, right?

Ryui: …Yeah.

Elderly Lady: Tell us all about it! We’re all just passing strangers in the end, so it’ll stay between us. 

Drunkard B: You’ve always got the look of someone who’s carrying the whole damn world on his shoulders. Try lettin’ all that out. 

Ryui: …I threw aside my family so I can save Toi– my little brother. 

Proprietress: What about your mom and dad?

Ryui: My old man is dead. I’m sure my little brother will meet the same fate too. That old hag won’t even lift a finger. 

Elderly Lady: Oh no… Is your brother sick?

Ryui: I’ll find a way to help him. I came all the way north for that. 

Drunkard A: So that’s how it is… Must be hard on ya… You been callin’ your little brother on the regular? 

Ryui: No… I’m sure if I hear his voice, I’ll end up wanting to see him again. 

Ryui: I have to play the bad guy until I get what I need. I’d already decided to cut off all contact. 

Ryui: (It might be painful now, but it’s all for you, Toi. That’s why I’m…)

Toi: …… 

Ryui: Pffgth!

Proprietress: Oh my, what a cute little customer we’ve got here! What’s wrong? Are you lost? 

Toi: Is there space to seat 6 people? 

Ryui: …!

Proprietress: 6 people, huh… As you can see, it’s not very spacious here. Though it’s not impossible if we all squeeze in together…. 

Ryui: (Doesn’t seem like he’s spotted me yet, but… He’s in “that” mode!?)

Toi: You lot, did you hear that? She said it’s possible if you take up less space.

Toi: …So move. 

Drunkard A: Oooh… A face as sweet as cotton candy, yet a gaze as cold as ice! Ain’t seen anythin’ quite like it! 

Drunkard B: Now this is somethin’ to be grateful for… Just wait a sec, we’ll make space for ya!

Drunkard A: Squeeze in more on that side! Till yer flat as yer face! Haha!

Ryui: (Dammit, the old geezers are blocking me in! Thought I could make my break but— woagh!)

Drunkard A: Gotchu yer space, angel boy! 

Toi: …Heh. 

Location: Hakodate Daimon Yokocho

Momiji: So this is Daimon Yokocho! You can see various drinking establishments lined up side by side, where you can not only enjoy Hakodate’s gourmet food, but also try a variety of local food and alcohol that they take pride in! 

Yodaka: The atmosphere is quite splendid, I can see why it’s such a popular tourist spot. 

Daniel: Yeah~ It’s mighty fun to go bar-hopping in a place like this! 

Netaro: My stomach is feeling quite empty… I need a large helping of deep-fried chicken.

Nagi: Shio ramen… Looks tasty.

Daniel: Oh, they’ve even got places that sell crab here. Let’s pour some sake into a roasted shell and slurp it up.

Momiji: Why do you only have alcohol on the brain… Huh?

Foreigner Tourist A: “What do you think this means?”

Foreigner Tourist B: “I have no idea.”

Foreigner Tourist A: “It’s hard to imagine.”

Momiji: (There’s some foreign tourists here… Looks like they’re confused about what shop is in front of them.)

Daniel: …You wanna help ‘em out, right? 

Momiji: Of course! 

~~~(Hospitality Battle)

Momiji: Good, looks like they managed to find the shop they were looking for! 

Yodaka: Good work, you’re quite skilled. But I’ve been meaning to point out—

Yodaka: I haven’t seen Toi around for a while now… Did we get separated? 

Momiji: Oh no, you’re right…! We need to find him— 

Toi: Here. 

Momiji: Woah…! Oh, I’m so glad you weren’t lost after all… 

Nagi: Where were you all this time? 

Toi: I was making a reservation. 

Netaro: Yaaay! 

Toi: An entertaining banquet is about to unfold. 

Location: Hakodate Daimon Yokocho Izakaya

Momiji: Mm… D-Delicious~! It’s only an appetizer, but it really hits the spot. As expected of Hokkaido! 

Nagi: This scallop tofu is really tasty too… 

Proprietress: I made it myself~ I’m quite proud of its flavor! 

Daniel: …Looks like it’s all packed further in the bar, you sure it’s alright? 

Netaro: I’ve already finished all the tofu… Is there any Zangi left? 

Yodaka: Oh… So this is Hakodate’s locally crafted alcohol. It’s dry but has a clear flavor, which makes it go down smoothly.

Yodaka: It pairs quite nicely with Hakodate’s seafood, as well. 

Proprietress: Oh my, you know your stuff, don’t you? It’s quite highly recommended by my female customers too! 

Yodaka: I see. I did sense a sublte fruity note as well. It’s no wonder that it’s popular with the ladies.

Yodaka: How about we share a toast, Mama? My treat. “Cold Beauty,” even the name suits you well. 

Proprietress: Oh, dearie me! I can’t believe you’d call an old lady such as myself a beauty! You’ve earned yourself a serving of salmon jerky, on the house!

Drunkard B: C’mon Mama! How ‘bout showin’ yer old regulars some love too!

Proprietress: I’ll consider it if you come back a little more handsome. Ufufu! 

Momiji: Wow, this salmon jerky is so soft and chewy! I thought jerky was supposed to be harder to eat.

Netaro: Nyam nyam… soft, salty and scrumptious! I’d like to have another serving! 

Nagi: *mouth full* I wanna carry it around with me in my pocket. 

Daniel: This one’s prepared right here too I’d bet. Mm… this salmon makes me wanna drink like a fish.

Momiji: That was really bad, Daniel-san… You’re drunk already, huh. 

Drunkard C: What a lively bunch! Hope yer enjoyin’ yer time here! 

Drunkard B: Cheers to new meetings! 

Momiji: Yeah! Cheers! 

Momiji: (What a lovely izakaya, the regulars are all such good folks!)

Momiji: (I’d love to come by here again before we leave Hakodate… Huh?)

Ryui: …… 

Momiji: (There’s someone stuck between the wall and the other customers… He’s being quietly done in, not by the alcohol, but by the weight… Is he alright…?)

Ryui: …… 

Momiji: (...Wait, I can’t really see him clearly because he’s in the shadows, but he looks…)

Ryui: (Don’t you dare talk to me, trash.)

Momiji: (Ugh… He glared right at me…)

Momiji: (And why do I feel like I’m being cursed at…? Well, it’s just a feeling, but…)

Momiji: (I don’t want to cause any trouble on a trip, so I’ll just let it go…)

Nagi: …Tasty food and even tastier alcohol. 

Nagi: If I’m this happy, something bad’s bound to happen soon… 

Netaro: Gii, what are you mumbling over there for? Don’t mind anything for now, just drink away! 

Yodaka: You couldn’t possibly refuse sake served by me. Here you go. 

*sound of alcohol being poured*

Nagi: T-The happiness is… 

Momiji: Don’t worry! I’ll take as many flowers as you wanna give when we get back! 

Nagi: Oh, right… Okay then… 

Nagi: *gulp*

*clapping*

Daniel: Now ain’t that a hoot! You’ve got great drinking form, I’m proud of ya! 

Nagi: …Okay~ Next is Buchi-san. Drink.

Daniel: I’m drinkin’ I’m drinkin’! Like, three times more than you!

Momiji: That’s way too much! 

Ryui: Dammit… 

Ryui: (It can’t take longer than one or two hours…)

Ryui: (I just gotta hold out till then…!)

Notes:

Zangi is a Hokkaido-style deep-friend chicken

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Masterlist

[blackbloodteeth]

Past Rambles #9

Soup

Alright, this was actually a standalone idea initially but I thought it would be really fitting (and hilarious) if this ended up being a prequel to the first installment of a horror series I never got around to writing, called "Of Souls and Serial Killers". This may still be taken as a standalone though, as I never really pinpointed if said series was linear or actually just an anthology with one overarching theme.

So for the start of this story, Soul only just met Maka 'cause she's travelling around while looking for a weapon to partner with, and Soul isn't even aware that he's a weapon to begin with. Story itself opens with him waiting around 'cause Maka said she wanted to talk with him later, and an old hag who's "out shopping" meets him and asks why he looks troubled. Soul casually (and nervously) explains his circumstance, and the old woman lies to him, saying she's at her house and gets him to follow her because obviously very trustworthy.

Eventually they're at her door, and upon seeing that Maka is not in fact there, Soul is then suddenly buried into the freakin' ground after the woman ominously states that they'll meet soon enough. The soil, which turns out to be infused with magic, makes him feel like he's being crushed until... he becomes an onion.

Later he gets pulled up and can only kinda hear an' feel being picked up; probably realizes the- oh yeah she's actually a witch by the way- saying stuff about onions means he might actually be one now (woah).

Soul gets brought inside and set on the table as the witch prepares da soup. However, he wills himself to have eyes because fuck it, he's going to end up in some soup and would rather not to be honest (maybe he already gets thrown in by this point depending on my mood), and then wills himself to also have little leggies to scuttle away with.

The witch is not pleased by her food running away.

Meanwhile Maka is like "hold up" after someone tells her that Soul followed an old lady somewhere and ends up at her witchy door, asks to be let in since she knows Soul was there (although she withholds being able to sense his presence among others inside), and the hag reluctantly lets her in since she'll probably put her in the soup after she finds where that damn onion ran off to.

Maka sits down as the innocuous old woman makes tea for her in the kitchen as a distraction (and probably to dose her with magic). While she's off doing that, Maka locates Soul (or maybe he runs up to her) and they're both freaking out, and then the witch comes in ready to give her the tea when she sees Maka holding Soul and just locks her in the room to force her to drink the potion.

Ramble was left unfinished by this point due to being a late addition to the series, but from what I recall, Maka uses the power of her soul wavelength to connect with Soul and awaken his scythe powers (although he probably isn't quite cured of onionism yet). With the combined power of busting doors down and taking names, the witch is most likely defeated by throwing her in the pot like a fairytale and as such all the souls that'd been turned into vegetables become freed, and everyone's human again.

And that's how Soul and Maka met.

[lutethebodies]

More Notes on a Duo Act 1/Act 2 Playthrough

Here's Part 4 of tracking my swords bards' 14th playthrough day-by-day in-game, sans hirelings and (most) companions. Continuing from Solo Notes, More Solo Notes, and Duo Notes. This entry wraps up all the Act 1 stuff in the span of six jam-packed long rests, all below the cut:

Day 11. Nuked the spectator first thing; Minthara baited it and then Cannor shot the smokepowder/oil barrels behind the creature to incinerate it in one hit. Went for the drow studded leather afterward. Then relieved the kua-toa of their fake god. Then did for the hag and redcaps in the swamp (smites work wonders) and sent Mayrina and her zombie-husband on their way to the city. Our heroes were running low on barrels, so Minthara stole four smokepowder containers while Cannor distracted the Zhent with performance. Called on the ogres again to help with defeating Filro and the hook horrors. Decided to keep them on to see what they could do vs Grym or the phase spiders. Warped to Moonhaven and camped.

Day 12. Finished up Moonhaven by making the sussur dagger, destroying the phase spiders, and snagging the Poisoner Robe for Minthara's collection. Feather-fell back into the Underdark and returned to the Forge area. When four Zhent smokepowder barrels failed to make a real dent in Grym, Cannor called for the ogres to use them as bait, then while they died horribly, he crushed Grym with the forge’s hammer. That reduced it to 2hp, but then Cannor and Minthara had to do the super-heating thing again to finish it off. Underdark and Grymforge complete, they returned to the Myconid Colony and camped.

Day 13. Turns out the Zhents were salty about smokepowder barrel theft. How unfortunate—for them. After dealing with that, our heroes did other sorts of Act 1 cleanup, like drinking Omeluum’s potion (Cannor), and snipe-bombing the bridge gith (without Voss and Lae’zel, they were no match for Level 6 Minthara). Proceeded to the monastery and demolished the gremishkas. Camped in the creche (also shoutout to this location in general, one of my favorites in-game, for the late-afternoon sunlight, weird alien vibe, and eerie ambient soundtrack).

Day 14. Deciding to get the gith before the gith figured out they were infected, our heroes took on the whole creche stealthily and methodically, clearing the main hallway, infirmary, dorm, training room, and hatchery (where Minthara decided to swipe the egg for Esther after all). Hit level 7 after the latter. Camped in the crags.

Day 15. Finished the job, clearing the entrance, back door, captain's quarters, and inquisitor's room (both of the latter with barrelmancy). Lied to Vlaakith's face by promising to kill the person in the prism. For the first time ever, Cannor nuked the monastery—getting out with no injuries. Camped in the crags.

Day 16. Used some standard kettle-barrelmancy for the Death Shepherds first thing, because fuck them. They traumatized me so badly on my first playthrough a year ago and I've never forgiven them. I've always despised undead and give them radiance and fire in-game whenever I can. Anyway, our heroes traded with Esther one last time and then warped to Last Light and Act 2, leaving Act 1 permanently. Day 16 will continue next time.

[v-vina]

HxH Character’s Search History

Gon

-Ging

-Ging maps

-Green outfits

-Ging location

-What is 3+7?

-slime videos

Killua

-killugon fanart

-How to murder your family (with pictures)

-Hot Topic

-how to be a good big brother

-romance anime

-how to be cool

-how to build a nuclear bomb

Leorio

-fast money making

-how to make money fast

-billionaires secrets

-how to get on someone's will

-ballad health

-doctor application

-how to look younger

Kurapika

-Chrollo slander

-spiders 

-phantom troupe location

-chains

-Kurta eyes

-how to become a part of the Mafia

-phantom troupe slander

Hisoka

-hisogon

-hisogon fanart

-bungee gum

-how to gain custody of a minor

-deck of cards Amazon

-how to keep a snatched waist

-clown makeup tutorial

Illumi

-how do I use this device 

-Killua location

-Killua google maps

-how to get your brother to get home

-needles

Zushi 

-gacha life videos 

-how to become strong

-nen explanation

-how to get free robux

Chrollo

-I'm holy

-holy bible

-chain user

-find my child - Uvogin

-spiders

-I can't use my nen. What do I do?

Bisky

-JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

-How to take care of kids

-Greed Island

-Hisoka

-training ideas

-am I an old hag quiz

Ging

-condoms

-how to get a 12 year late abortion

Tonpa

-poison

-McDonald's hamburger

-chicken wings

-food

-Chick-fil-a

-Walmart meat section

-Uber Eats

-am I fat?

Meruem

-Are humans incompetent?

-Gungi

-How long can a human function without sleep, water, or food?

-My body guards are being weird. What do I do?

-What does blind mean?

-What is love like?

Please don't repost.

[jules-has-notes]

Snow Spears and the Seven Dwarves (Unexpected Musicals) — PattyCake Productions music video

There's an element of fantasy and fairy tales in modern pop culture stardom. Celebrities can be plucked out of obscurity and thrust into positions of power they're unprepared for, or toppled from their pedestals for superficial reasons.

When the guys of PattyCake Productions were considering how to make their debut / proof of concept to the world, they leaned into their greatest strengths — music and visual storytelling. Layne and Tony built on their experience with VoicePlay's musical medleys and expanded that idea into a full story arc. Blending the music of one of the biggest singers of the late 90s with a timeless childhood narrative (not to mention incredible costumes, sets, and a wealth of talent from among their theme park friends) resulted in this incredibly fun reimagining of a Disney classic.

Details:

title: Unexpected Musicals – Snow Spears and the Seven Dwarves

performers: Olivia Adkins (Snow White); Michelle Knight (Queen); Layne Stein (magic mirror); Tony Wakim (huntsman); Jason Tibbs (Prince); Jen Vargas, Tymisha Harris, Robin Buda, Kathy Castellucci, Jose Rodriguez, Tina Fleming, & Charlie Crook (dwarves)

original songs / performer: all songs by Britney Spears — "I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman"; [1:20] "I'm A Slave 4 U"; [1:45] "Boys"; [2:12] "Till the World Ends"; [2:45] "Toxic"; [3:45] "Hold It Against Me"

written by: "I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman" by Max Martin, Rami Yacoub, & Dido Armstrong; "I'm A Slave 4 U" by Chad Hugo & Pharrell Williams; "Boys" by Chad Hugo & Pharrell Williams; "Till the World Ends" by Lukasz "Dr. Luke" Gottwald, Alexander Kronlund, Max Martin, & Kesha Sebert; "Toxic" by Cathy Dennis, Christian Karlsson, Pontus Winnberg, & Henrik Jonback; "Hold It Against Me" by Max Martin, Lukasz "Dr. Luke" Gottwald, & Bonnie McKee

arranged by: Layne Stein & Tony Wakim

release date: 29 August 2016

My favorite bits:

the flute trills in the "Not A Girl" orchestration to emulate Snow's songbird friends so that they didn't have to show them on screen

Snow harmonizing with the echo in the well

bassy Layne as the magic mirror & Tony's cameo as the huntsman

the dwarves' jaunty whistling à la "Heigh Ho" during "Boys" (and the fact that most of them are women)

using "Toxic" to underscore the Evil Queen's poisoned apple machinations 🍎

Michelle switching between two different timbres for the Queen and the Hag

the slightly spicier tone of the Prince's introduction due to the choice of "Hold It Against Me"

also, the screen-accurate costuming — Holy moly, Tony.

Trivia:

The final scene had to be filmed over the course of four days in order to get consistent lighting in the outdoor location.

Olivia later reprised her role as Snow White in several other Unexpected Musical videos, and in the Princess Academy series.

Michelle has reprised her role as the Evil Queen for many episodes of their Villains Lair series. When she appears, the visual effect of Layne's face as the magic mirror is often reused in the background.

Michelle has also played Snow White in a satirical musical called Disenchanted! that began at the 2011 Orlando Fringe Festival and had an off-Broadway run a few years later.

[willow-the-druid]

We explored a great deal of the blighted village, a place once called Moonhaven. Scattered missing posters and an old school journal told me that children and their families had mysteriously disappeared over some time. Shadowheart seemed a little stirred up about that information. I feel like she's hiding something from me, but I don't want to press about what.

Exploring more of the village, we found a cave full of webs and a MASSIVE phase spider. There was a large pit near where she died, bur I thought better than to jump down it. We explored another buiding and found a cellar. Hidden behind secret passages and a magic mirror was a laboratory. behind a locked door was a cursed tome, which I quickly destroyed before we left. I was able to gather a fair amount of potion supplies, so it wasn't a total loss.

We then travelled south where we found two men yelling at an old woman. They claimed she was a hag who'd taken their sister. Due to a miscommunication, they attacked us, and were slain. The woman, Auntie Ethel, thanked us, and offered refuge in her home.

Entering the forest, a strange feeling washed over me. Looking around, I realized we were standing in a massive illusion. The lush forest melted away to reveal a putrid swamp. We ventured further, and made our way to Ethel's tea house.

Walking in, we spotted the girl Mayrina, but Ethel snapped her fingers and she vanished. I talked to Ethel for a moment, and she made mention of our tadpole problem. She offered to help, but I know better than to trust a hag. We attacked her there in her home, and we successfully killed her before she could escape us.

We headed down into her lair, looking to resuce her victims. We were able to recover a few, but some were too far gone to be saved. We rescued Mayrina, where she informed me that she had planned to trade her unborn child in exchange for Ethel reviving her husband. I found a cursed wand that might have done that, but I broke it out of fear of the evil magic within it.

Exploring more of the swamp, we met a monster hunter! He said he had been set out to capture the vampire spawn, Astarion. A monster hunter after one of my companions? I'll admit, Astarion and I don't always see eye-to-eye, but to send him off with a hunter? I didn't have the heart to let him go. Especially after he traded his rogue lifestyle for that of a bard. He's become much more entertaining lately.

We took out the monster hunter rather effectively. I hope we don't come to regret it.

Looking over the map, I realized we were close to the marked location for Kagha's note. We explored further, took out some mud mephits, and found the letter. It turns out Kagha is working for the Shadow Druids! I can't let this stand. We need to return to the Grove and stop her before she completes the Rite of Thorns.