#location: The Late Hag

[maydaymadier]

The Saboteur and The Cornucopia (session 1)

Welcome to our first recap of a Merano campaign session!  All character names are in bold, spells are in italics.  Party members are tagged “merano: [character name]”.  Locations visited (cities, specific establishments) are tagged “location: [NAME]”.  All posts for this campaign are tagged “campaign: merano”.

INTRODUCTION: Along the east coast of the continent of Merano, is The Akonerry Academy of the Arcane outside of the port city of Kerras is home to a magical fountain called The Cornucopia, which constantly pours Goodberry juice.  This fountain means no one in the area needs to go hungry.  However first thing this morning, the team working maintenance on it reported that it was broken.  In the meantime, the normally open campus has been closed.  All evidence points to sabotage.  The head groundskeeper has hired on the three of you to track down the saboteur.

prepare yourself, my notes got long

The three of them meet up at The Cornucopia, a bronze fountain of a sleepy-faced shepherd with a cornucopia slung at his hip.  Delphie (she/her) is a student at the school and was hand-picked from the student body.  Calypso (they/them) is formerly a pirate, currently on Fantasy Parole and is here doing mandated community service.  Hugo (he/him) just saw a help wanted sign.

A big fluffy white dog (Nimbus) comes trotting up to them and brings them to the head groundskeeper's office, Sabine Zhang.  Nimbus is wearing a collar with a Sending stone on it that Sabine is using as a walkie talkie.  Leading them up through the library to the offices on the top floors, she barks once to get her to open the door.  It is a well-used if sparse space.

Sabine gives them all the run down.  Including that only 6 people know how to get into the Cornucopia proper/are allowed to work on it, the passwords change frequently, and all 6 of them have been cleared.  According to the team that’s working on it this year, there is no evidence of forced entry of any kind.  There is no evidence of any entry.  She also suggests that the two main weak points where someone would've gotten in are the flying platform looking over the cliffs used for practicing flying spells and the barred-off openings of the underground tunnels that lead out to the cliffs below left over from the school’s construction.

The party arranges to go talk w the Cornucopia team, Nimbus collects them and they meet back up at the fountain.  Hugo suggests it could be octopi (long story, some stuff happened in a one-shot).

Meet the team back at the fountain, Mayday the half-elf and Misty the felis (both wizards) and Avril the half-elf (artificer),  Avril handles the mechanical workings of the machine, Misty and Mayday work on the enchantments.  Each year three students (usually one from each section of the school but there's no bard this year) are selected under a highly competitive process to be put on the team that gets to work on the Cornucopia.

The team explains that they reported it was broken the moment they came to check on it this morning.  They didn't see anyone/anything suspicious at the time.  Explain that the control room for it is underground in the tunnels.  And the three of them agree to guide them through.

Take an exterior entrance down into the tunnels on the artificing campus.  There's a little goofing off where they check inside a janitor's closet and find a bottle of ~Fantasy Windex~ (magical-strength degreaser).

While on their way, Hugo takes his helmet off to see better in the low light (nat20 on perception), notices wet footprints and goes charging in.  There's a BAMF sound and combat is triggered as two merrow appear.  During combat, Calypso whiffs an attack on one of them but notices one of the merrow say something to the other in Primordial ("The bastard ran off!").  Delphie notices the dregs of Misty Escape mist with a Detect Magic.

Once combat ends, the team comes running back out of where they'd been hiding in the janitor's closet.  Mayday coming to the conclusion that it was a distraction, slams both hands onto the wall to activate the sigils and open the hidden door that leads to the Cornucopia room.  They stay behind to hold the door open.  Misty and Avril, once you get to the door proper, they flank either side of the door to activate the sigils and hold it open for you.

Taking in the room, the magic makes your hairs stand on end, but everything feels dead.  Mechanisms lie still, sigils and runes have had the magic choked out of them.  Hugo can recognize the bard influence on this design, it uses infusions of Bardic Inspiration as fail-safes.

Avril and Misty had been peering around the doorway to keep an eye on them.  But they both take their hands off the sigils when they duck out of the way of a knife that comes out of nowhere at them, the doors close, the party is locked inside.

The saboteur is revealed.  A roguish figure with flat black eyes and half-water hair in leather armor, ready for a fight.  Triggers initiative.

At first, seeing the enemy teleport this seems to be a daunting task.  Calypso enters their rage, revealing a horrifying undead sea monster transformation and unleashing a blood-curdling scream.  A clutch use of upcasted Magic Missile speeds this along.  Everyone whales on him before he can even get a chance to get away.

Hugo offers up a fishing net from his inventory to tie him up with.  Calypso wraps him up in it.  Avril and Misty open the doors again.  Keep going, Mayday and Avril are going to stay behind to take care of this while Misty runs ahead/leads the way to take the party back to Sabine.  She guides them up through a less-traveled, ‘back way’ path through the abjuration tower to get to her office.

Reach Sabine's office, come in and just sort of...plop the unconscious rogue on the ground.  Seeing as there aren’t enough chairs for everybody they all sit on the floor huddled around, petting Nimbus while they explain what happened and with Misty backing them up.  Calypso mentions that the guy is teleporting, the wizards in the room suggest anti-magic.  Sabine pulls out a 'rolodex' of sending stones and calls the dept head of abjuration, Syd to come help.  Makes another 'call' to someone in the city.  Soon after, Syd and 5 city guard come to take the unconscious rouge elsewhere.

She thanks the three of them (plus Misty) and the hired three get paid 100gp each.  They all decide to leave campus and wind down for the night in town.  Go to a tavern called The Late Hag down by the docks, it’s a bit of a dive but nothing all that sketchy.  Have some 'getting to know you' chat between the three of them.  Delphie casually mentions that she’s blind when the others comment on how cool her eyes are.  Hugo and Calypso are taken aback but she explains that while her light-vision is terrible and she’s by all means, blind, she can use divination magic to see magical signatures.  However if something is not magical she cannot see it at all.  The subject of Calypso’s transformation comes up, though they don’t provide many details, just that it’s something they can do.

Finally having a moment to breathe, Delphie puts it together that Calypso is on Fantasy Parole and has a Fantasy Ankle Monitor.  She’d seen some flickers of abjuration magic on their wrist but considering the circumstances she hadn’t had a chance to think about it.  But now, when things have calmed down, she can see the glimmer of the adamantine bracelet poking out of their sleeve.  She makes excuses to try and leave, hiding in the bathroom, Hugo gives her the out when he goes to check on her.

Calypso and Hugo hang out for the rest of the night getting tipsy, they invite him to spend the night when he realizes that he hadn’t made any plans for lodging before coming to Kerras.  Delphie goes home to spend the night at her family's house.  Her parents are surprised but happy to see her.  The night is raucous but with the comfort of normality.

[titan-senpai]

What the hell?? Pt.3

A young lady who was a model lived on earth ended in a tragic way.. and ended up in hell somehow? While she cant hurt a fly.. Right?

Warning: Cursing,smoking.

pt [1] [2]

I don't know how long it's been since I ended up here.. I've joined the Vees as THE Model of hell and ended up as an overlord amongst them.

It's probably been a few years.. The Princess of Hell Charlie was 12 when I came here.. She's almost an adult. so i've been here for a while i guess, my death was a mystery but at the end they both joined me in hell and i made them suffer as an overlord.

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Heels clacking as me and Velvette walked to the elevator to the meeting being fashionably late. As the elevator closed I checked my phone looking at my upcoming shoots for this week. as Vel opened the door on the phone with Valentino as I took a seat and apologized for being late as Carmilla gave me a nod. " R you doubting me? Really me?!" She yelled at the phone " They're all a joke.. I know" She leaned on the chair next to me " thank you see ya soon, Kisses darling" She hung up taking a seat down.

" Nice of you to join us, Velvette... Will your colleagues be joining?" she asked, turning to look at us. Vel quickly smiled " No they have better shit to then listen to an old windbag, who thinks she's tough shit. We're here to represent." She put an arm over me.

'Charming.."She continued with the meeting. " As I was saying we need to discuss.." she pointed at the board behind her as Vel lifted her hand up "Yes?" Carmilla said.

" On the subject of Discussion." She smiled, pulling a dead exterminator's head, throwing it across the table for her, smiling with a grin as I took notes of the meeting... that was getting interrupted.

Everyone was shocked upon seeing the head on the desk. Carmilla looked with a serious look " Where did you get this.." i spoke up "we found it during extermination day." " If these things can be killed, it changes everything, we can take the fight to them" She stood on the desk, heels klanking. "My gang has come up with a full assault plan" she smiled looking at me as i stood up fixing my skirt walking to carmilla handing her the notes about the plan to assault them.

Loud sipping was heard from Zestial as everyone looked at him. "Is it true my colleagues want to start a war with such little proof." he put his hands together "Thou art far more foolish than i thought." My blood boiled "little proof? Its a dead fucking exorist!" she pointed at the head we brought. she crossed her arms as i sat back down in my seat " You going blind..Old man" she said smiling at him.

"We don't know how this perished..mayhaps was not by demons hands at all." he said holding his cup again " if we rush to war without knowing when they purge all of hell for a daring uprising." Hitting his fist on the table.

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The meeting was over and me and Vel were headed back to headquarters to rest and I had to get ready for my photoshoot with Angel dust.

as we entered the building i took my heels off slipping on comfortable slippers "That old hag can go fuck herself" Velvette yelled storming inside as i let her cool down.

" How did it go?" Valentino asked me as he looked at his phone. " Nothing much the usual, where is Vox?" I sighed as I took a seat on the couch. " He's at Voxtech doing his daily routine" he inhaled smoke.

rubbing my temples " when will Angel get here.." i looked at the ceiling. as i felt smoke being exhaled " He is getting ready on location. so should you." he leaned closer to my face. " You're right, I'll see you later val. " I stood sending a text to Vel who was pissed in her room. putting on my heels back on and getting in my car.

Soon I arrived at the location of the shoot for a new lingerie set. parking my car reserved for the Vees. getting in the elevator to see Angel dust. "Hey y/n!" he said waving from his chair as they got the set ready. I can say I'm quite close with Angel since he became Valentinos slave. I've been helping him and fighting with Valentino for his sake.

" hey Angiee!" I smiled as I hugged him "Give me a minute, I need to get ready. '' I smiled as I walked to the changing room. making my own lingerie fitting me perfectly. looking in the mirror adjusting tiny details as a necklace, earrings and curling my hair the way I like.

I walked out of the changing room in seconds with floating makeup touching up my face. " Ready I smiled as I made them go away. "In position" the director yelled. " also you y/n!" He yelled angrily as I looked back to him with black eyes with red pupils the complete opposite of what they normally are...

Angelic..

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As we were in the middle of a shoot the door flung upon revealing the princess of hell. " Woah! this is where Angel does his work" She smiled looking around. " take 5" the director yelled "Charlie?! What are you doing here" Angel walked to her. as I put a robe around myself and grabbed one for angel. " You mean us?" she smiled revealing a familiar face.

" Husk?" I walked closer to them. "Whos asking ?" he yelled. I put the robe on angel and me and husk locked eyes. " Y/N'' he looked at me for quite some time. " It's been a while hasn't it?" I smiled, bending down to his height " yeah i haven't seen you since i left.." He smiled. I missed that smile..

That smile could make Hell feel like Heaven for a minute...

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[milaisreading]

🌱🩷: AU where the Reader is Isagi's older sibling and she came to watch him play during the U-20 game. She is the same age as Sae, btw. Let me know if u want a pt2

Warnings: Reader uses she/her. Requests are open

⚽️Blue Lock belongs to Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura⚽️

"I am almost there! Yeah... the game already started?!" (Y/n) stopped in her tracks and took a deep breath as she talked with her mom on the phone.

"Yes, Yo-chan seems to be handling himself very well on the field. But why are you late? I thought you said your exam will only last an hour." The worried Iyo asked from the other side as (Y/n) started running down the street again.

"It was only an hour long. But I completely forgot Yoichi's jersey in my dorm room, and I promised I would wear it." (Y/n) said, smiling down at the blue jersey she was wearing at the moment.

"Ohh... you really can be forgetful at times." Iyo laughed as loud cheers erupted from her side.

"Did something happen?!" (Y/n) asked.

"Did Yoichi score?!"

"Well, someone from his team just scored." Iyo said, causing (Y/n) to sigh in relief.

"Good! I didn't miss his score then... I will be there in a bit! Don't worry!" (Y/n) said and ended the call, sprinting down the street towards the stadium.

'I won't miss is! I swear, Yoichi! I won't miss your score!' She thought to herself.

Once at the stadium, (Y/n) gave the staff her ticket to check it, then ran towards the direction she was instructed to, making sure to avoid the people in the hallway.

'Agh! Where are mom and dad?!' (Y/n) thought as she finally entered the fully packed stadium, but couldn't find her parents anywhere. She looked around nervously, and texted her mom to let her know she had arrived, then looked down at the filed, gripping tightly on the railing as she saw the results on the display.

'3-3?! This can't be for real?! And there isn't much time left either... Yoichi...' She looked down nervously at her younger brother, gripping on the jersey as she noted his exhausted expression. Upon further inspection, the whole Blue Lock team looked pretty distraught and defeated. And while the U-20 team was in a similar condition, they seemed to be in a better head space.

'Yoichi... the World Cup win is your dream, you can't let it go like that... You said you want to become like your idol Noa... And I won't let you miss the opportunity.' She glared at the Blue Lock team, who was arguing among each other and Isagi was just standing to the side. Taking a deep breath, she was greatful for a moment that the place she was at, was located closer to the field.

"ISAGI YOICHI, GET YOUR HEAD INTO THE GAME!!!" (Y/n) yelled, causing a couple, tat was standing next to her, to jump in fright.

The said boy's eyes widened as he heard his sister's voice, and turned to look in her direction.

'Big sis...' Yoichi thought as the rest of his team jumped in surprise.

"The hell?!" Barou and Karasu yelled in shock.

"I SWEAR, IF YOU LET THIS OPPORTUNITY SLIP AWAY! I WILL KICK YOUR ASS!" (Y/n) yelled, her face turning red as Yoichi stared at her in shock for a moment, then his expression softened into a smile.

"Who is that?" Yukimiya wondered, finally spotting the girl.

"Dunno... but she is quite a cutey." Bachira commented.

"Is that a girlfriend of yours, Isagi?" Reo raised an eyebrow as Nagi just sat on the grass, eyeing the girl too.

"GET TOUR HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER AND PLAY! WHAT ARE YOU EVEN SO NERVOUS ABOUT?! THE TELEVISION CREW?! THOSE OLD HAGS FROM THE JFU?! THE U-20 TEAM?! DON'T PISS ME OFF, AND PLAY!!" (Y/n) finished her yelling as a few tears escaped her eyes, and she stared at her brother with a soft glare. Yoichi was quiet for a moment, then grinned at his sister and sent her a thumbs up, then looked back at his stunned team.

"Well, let's finish this. You heard her, I can't let this opportunity slip away."

The rest of the team stared at Isagi in disbelief, he even received questioning looks from Niko, Chigiri, Otoya, Ego, and Anri from the benches.

"Who... who is she?" Hiori spoke up first.

"Oh that... that's my older sister. She is pretty passionate when it comes to me playing. Even more than I am." Isagi chuckled, smiling fondly as he said the last part. This caused him to get various reactions from the team. Bachira and Hiori were pretty much dumbfounded, Aryu and Reo were sending odd looks towards the girl and then towards Yoichi. Barou tried to act disinterested, Rin glared at the ace, a little jealous when he heard that part.

'Why isn't my brother like that anymore?'

Nagi stared lazily at Isagi, also confused over the whole revelation.

'With how Isagi acts, I really thought je was the older sibling.' The albino wondered. Meanwhile Yukimiya and Karasu went towards Yoichi, both putting their arms on each of his shoulders.

"Yoichi, my friend, my man." Karasu started.

"What?" The boy asked, surprised that he addressed him with his 1st name.

"So your sis... does she have anyone in her life?" The crow-boy asked.

"No... why?" Yoichi asked, eyeing Karasu suspiciously.

"Would she want a handsome, intelligent football player then-"

"Or a charismatic, talented model-"

"As her boyfriend?" The duo finished, causing Yoichi to frown at them.

"Stay away from my sister, you two." Yoichi warned.

"Shut up, let's finish this stupid game." Rin warned them, turning to glare at his brother who was dealing with Shidou's shenanigans.

After she finally calmed down a little, (Y/n) felt her face turn a dark shade of red as she realized what she did.

'This is so embarrassing!! Now everyone internationally saw me act like a fool!' She groaned, covering up her face. For a moment she stayed quiet, feeling eyes on her from the audience.

'But...' She slowly removed her hands, and smiled fondly at her brother's back as the game was resuming from the short break.

'Yoichi is worth it... he has so much potential here. I will remind him, even if I am going to embarrass myself.' (Y/n) thought, wiping a few tears away, for a short moment remembering the times she would sit with a younger Yoichi and watch football with him.

'Become the Noel Noa you always wanted to be.'

"Excuse me." A softer voice interrupted her as she turned to look at the direction it came from, only to find a red haired woman and green haired man lookin at her. They both looked like they were around her mom and dad's age.

"Yes, ma'am?" (Y/n) smiled politely as the woman spoke up nervously.

"This might be a little intrusive, but are you related to one of the players too?"

"Oh... yes, the number 11 and ace of Blue Lock, Isagi Yoichi is my younger brother." (Y/n) smiled proudly as she pointed at her brother.

"That's sweet, how you support him like that. My husband and I are her efor our sons, too."

"Sons?" She wondered, only to receive an answer from the man this time.

"Yeah, the number 10 in Blue Lock, Itoshi Rin and the number 10 in the U-20, Itoshi Sae are our sons." The man smiled warmly as (Y/n) slowly nodded her head.

'Oh to be a fly on the wall in that household once the match ends.' She thought to herself, picking up some small talk while sending constant glances at her brother.

"YOICHI!!!!!! THAT'S MY BROTHER!! THAT'S THE SAME LITTLE BOY I PICKED UP FROM TRAINING!!" (Y/n) cried out in happiness as she pointed at the boy when he scored the winning goal.

'You did it!' She quickly dashed away from the couple and towards the barricades to get to Yoichi, who was getting praises from his teammates and some U-20 members.

"Yoichi!!" (Y/n) yelled as the boy turned away from Oliver and looked at his sister. Yoichi grinned and left his team.

"See! Never doubt me!" Yoichi grinned, pulling his sister into a hug.

"I never doubted you, idiot! I am so glad you scored that goal! It was magnificent!" She sobbed, hugging her brother tightly. As the two siblings were hugging and talking, the rest of Blue Lock's team approached slowly.

"Why were you so late tho? And why were you with mom and dad?" Yoichi asked in worry as he pulled his sister onto the field.

"I was late because I forgot the jersey in my dorm room, and I seemed to have gotten a seat far away from where our parents are." (Y/n) chuckled nervously as Yoichi looked at the jersey, only now noticing it had his number.

"Ah? You went all the way for me?" Yoichi asked, happiness bubbling up inside of him.

"Of course! Remember when we were younger? I promised to wear your jersey for every match." She smiled.

"Ah! You still remember that-"

"Uhh, Isagi~ don't you want to introduce us?" The two Isagi siblings jumped up at Otoya's voice, and (Y/n) looked over at the team in surprise while Yoichi sent them warning glares.

"Big sis, my team. Team, this is my big sis." Yoichi said dryly as (Y/n) smiled at the team nervously, remembering some of the faces from her previous yelling.

"Hello, it's nice to meet Yo-chan's team." She spoked up, the team never once blinking or looking away.

"Sorry for the yelling earlier-"

"No need to apologize!" Karasu spoke up and walked up to her, followed by Otoya and Yukimiya.

"Being yelled at by a pretty lady is a privilege in my books." Yukimiya smiled down at her, causing (Y/n) to internally swoon a little.

'He is so good looking!'

"Feel free to yell at me all you want, too." Otoya added in, grabbing one of her hands.

"Hey! Watch it!" Yoichi yelled, but got pulled away by Bachira and Hiori.

"Up close, your older sister is pretty cute, Isagi." Bachira whispered to his friend.

"Bachira, what the hell man?"

"He is right tho." Hiori defended the bumblebee.

"Is your sis into games?" The blue-haired boy asked.

"Is she into younger guys?" Niko asked Yoichi, sending the girl some nervous looks.

"Niko, she is 18." Yoichi argued.

"Just 3 years."

"Absolutely not." Yoichi glared, trying to get out of Bachira's hold.

"You all are being so weird." Chigiri sighed, walking over to the small group. Yoichi sighed in relief as he heard the redhead's voice.

"Thank you for thinking rationally, Chigiri-"

"We all know I am the only one who has any chance with Isagi's sister. We are both cute." Chigiri finished and flipped his hair.

"Nevermind." Yoichi grumbled and watched as his sister complimented Gagamaru's goalkeeper skills, while Aryu pulled a nervous Tokimitsu to talk to her. Barou was standing next to her, adding in some random sentences.

Yoichi tried to get out of Bachira's hold again, but it was proven futile as the other four, plus Nagi now, started asking him about his sister. Meanwhile Reo took his chance and just went over to talk to her, curious if the older Isagi will be left in awe when she hears his last name.

Meanwhile, Rin was staring at the two Isagi siblings, and then looked back at his brother, jealousy slowly bubbling up inside of him again.

[chaoticbardlady99]

I Wondered If I Could Come Home? (Astarion x F! pregnant reader) Part 4

Synopsis: The Hag learns not to underestimate an angry mother and Eowyn decides to make an early appearance.

CW: Mentions of gore, mentions of torture, labor, breast feeding

Author note: thank you for your patience! I’ve had a lot of big life changes lately and have been struggling with my mental health. I have a couple other fics I’m working on that I’m super excited about!

This will also have more parts in the future! I have lots more ideas!

Pic is mine!

You know you need to stay in bed, but you will be damned if you are going to let Astarion face that terrible Hag alone. You knew he’d never agree to let you go with him considering your current condition, but you had always fought side by side together and not being there to protect him feels wrong to you.

They have been gone far longer than they should have been and there is a sick pit in your gut that tells you something is wrong. You don’t know what, when, why, or how, but you have a feeling Astarion’s life is in danger.

Jaheira had caught you sneaking out right away and even though Shadowheart was skeptical about the safety of the situation, she also agreed that something felt off and that they probably should have been back a few hours ago.

So you squeezed yourself into something that you can move in- settling on an oversized Wizard’s robe you had accidentally bought right before you found out you were pregnant. It’s like the retailers knew before you did.

Shadowheart and Jaheira are right behind you as you follow Scratch to Astarion’s location. The hag must not be very social considering the trail has led to a remote part of the beach. You feel even more uneasy the further you go and then you hear it.

Minsc is screaming at someone to stop and then there is a scream of pain from Astarion. Your entire body feels on fire and your rage is bigger than your own body. You can feel Eowyn’s fury too- no one is allowed to hurt her dad.

You storm in and you blast an ice shard straight through Hag's chest and send her away from Astarion. Based on the cuts along his chest- she was slowly, painfully torturing him with some type of weapon. Minsc, Halsin, and Gale are in equally bad shape and are hanging up shackled to the wall.

Astarion is blinded by some kind of spell because when you race over to him- he flinches away from you. His skin is torn up in nonsensical designs and your chest hurts looking at him. Tears are pooling in your eyes, but you have to contain yourself- he needs you to be strong right now.

“It’s just me, Star,” you say softly, “I’m getting you out of here.”

The fear and horror in his eyes intensifies, “you need to leave now!”

“Oh I’m afraid that ship has sailed little spawn,” the Hag cackles, “I didn’t even have to do any of the work- you came straight to me!”

You put yourself between the Hag and Astarion. You stare daggers into the Hag and she looks taken aback. She was a fool to believe you are just a blubbering pregnant woman who enjoys an apple cupcake.

“The only thing I will be giving you is a very painful death,” you snarl.

Shadowheart and Jaheira attack her first and you silence the Hag- preventing her from using any spells. In between Shadowheart and Jaheira’s melee attacks, you throw cantrip and spell hand over hand at the monster.

When the Hag finally goes down, you feel absolutely victorious! You untie Astarion and Shadowheart casts restoration and healing before moving onto the others. Astarion immediately pulls you into him and places lots of kisses on your face while chastising you for taking such a massive risk, but you can also see the shining pride in his eyes.

Then your water decides to break.

“Oh are you fucking serious!?” You shout in alarm.

“What’s-“ Astarion looks at you in confusion and then stops when he sees the puddles on the ground.

“Shit!” Shadowheart is racing over to check on you and puts her hand on the lower part of your stomach, “she’s ready to come at any minute- we need to get you h-“

She doesn’t even finish her sentence before Astarion picks you up and begins rushing back to the house. Everyone is hot on your trail, but you are too afraid to even be worried about that right now.

“My love, it’s going to be okay,” Astarion whispers, “you’ll be okay. Eowyn will be okay.”

“But she’s early,” you sob, “and Isobel and Dame Aylin aren’t here and what if I di-“

“No- don’t even begin to think that,” Astarion scolds you, his pace picking up, “you are going to live through this and we are going to be a family. There is no other outcome.”

You don’t argue with him because you don’t want to scare him. You’ve read a lot about Dhampir babies and their birth. Your understanding is that it’s up to the child whether you live or not- they can either make the labor excruciatingly easy or they can claw their way out of you until you bleed out. You hope that Eowyn loves you and wants you in her life. You really don’t want to die.

Everything moves in slow motion as everyone frantically moves around you. Your contractions came on much faster than Shadowheart anticipated and thank the Gods that Halsin was there because he’s delivered several children before. He was equally as surprised- this is a process that could take hours, days even, but it’s been mere minutes. Astarion asks if that’s a good thing, but neither Halsin or Shadowheart know.

Jaheira and Shadowheart push your legs as you fight through the pain and push as hard as you can. The pain is searing, but you don’t feel like you are being ripped apart more than necessary so that’s a good thing.

“You’re doing such a good job, my Love,” Astarion whispers as he wipes the sweat from your forehead, “you are so so strong.”

Yes, you are. You just fought a hag and then immediately went into labor, but that doesn’t settle the fear in your heart when you are told to push again. The pain just continues to increase but nothing feels scary, if anything, the more the pain increases, the more relief you feel. Not your own, but Eowyn’s and for some reason, you feel like she’s excited to meet you.

So you push a few more times over the next two hours until a high pitched cry echoes through the room. Halsin asks Astarion if he wants to cut the cord and he agrees, but looks like he’s going to throw up the whole time. Halsin is laughing as he shows Astarion how to bathe Eowyn- your poor partner looks like he’s about to have a conniption.

“Congratulations,” Halsin says while handing Eowyn over to you, “you are the proud parents of a very healthy little girl.”

Eowyn stops crying the minute she’s in your arms and she opens her eyes- she has topaz, sun elf eyes with red flecks and you smile widely- she has your eye color!

“Well hello my sweet girl,” you coo, “thank you for not killing me.”

Eowyn is the most precious baby in the world as she squeals happily at you. You giggle and hold her tighter. Your heart feels so so full when you look at her. It was just the two of you for so long and you are so happy to be here to know her.

Wispy, blonde silver curls adorn her head and her ears are adorably pointed. Her skin is the same color as Astarion’s but with more life in her cheeks. Her lips are in a happy little pout and she is inquisitive while taking in your features. Oh and her rolls! She is a chunky little gal!

You understand now what all those parenting books were saying. You would destroy the world for Eowyn.

“And!” Shadowheart pops up from in between your legs, “you’re totally okay! Besides the expected, that is.”

A relieved laugh leaves your lips and Eowyn happily squeals again in unison. Eowyn’s eyes then seem to wander around the room, her head turning ever so slightly. You read that Dhampirs are stronger than normal infants, but you are still weary of her moving without your support.

She doesn’t stop looking around until she meets Astarion’s eyes. You follow her gaze and you smile softly at Astarion who looks so happy, scared, and relieved at the same time. Eowyn offers a chubby hand to him and you watch as Astarion walks towards both of you as if hypnotized. He hesitantly lets her take his finger and Eowyn smiles before closing her eyes and relaxing against you.

“She’s beautiful,” Astarion says in awe, “but she’s also too smart for her own good.”

“I told you so,” you say with a huff, “but noooo no one listens to mom.”

Astarion smiles brightly at you and kisses your chapped lips slowly and lovingly. He sits next to the two of you, his finger never leaving Eowyn’s hand.

****************************

The Hag had overtaken them. Astarion still isn’t quite sure how- he just remembers a big flash and something in the room taking him down to his knees. When he woke up being tortured- he felt as helpless and pathetic as he had under Cazador.

Astarion was certain he would die there or just be there for eternity. The hag blinded him and carved into his skin as much as she pleased.

Hearing your voice had felt like a balm for his shattered spirit, but that feeling was quickly overtaken with fear for you and Eowyn. You were not supposed to be here trying to protect him. He’s supposed to be protecting you.

Today was humbling. You killed the hag and saved him. You then proceeded to give birth not even three hours later and you still had asked him if it would be okay for you to take a nap.

In spite of today’s lack of success, Astarion can’t help but feel nothing but pride towards you as you snore softly next to him in the bed. Your arm is absentmindedly thrown over his torso and Eowyn is napping in his arms. You are truly a miracle walking and it’s in these moments that he still can’t believe you took him back. You’re incredible and you could easily have done this on your own.

Astarion is extremely nervous. He knows he has absolutely no paternal instinct, but he does know he loves Eowyn and you. At the end of the day that’s the important part, right? He can figure out the rest as he goes- he’s smart and quick enough on his feet.

Eowyn begins crying and suddenly that process of thought is completely gone. You stir and begin to sit up with a yawn.

“She’s-“ another yawn cuts you off, “probably hungry.”

Astarion passes Eowyn to you- once again feeling entirely unhelpful. Sure enough, she immediately begins to suckle and her crying ceases. You smile at her and then look to Astarion- your features quickly changing to a look of concern. You use your other hand to wipe his tears.

“Star, what’s wrong?”

He struggles to fight the lump in his throat and to stop the tears in his eyes. You continue to look at him lovingly, providing him with comfort and assurance. Astarion can tell you what he’s feeling- maybe you can even help him get a new perspective.

“I feel so useless and well, worthless,” he chokes out, “I didn’t kill the hag, I couldn’t do anything but watch you be in pain, and I can’t even feed Eowyn.”

Your hand pauses on his cheek for a second before you shake your head.

“Astarion, you saved me from that horrid creature earlier this morning. If you hadn’t been there, I would be chopped up somewhere and Eowyn would be turned into a hag,” you say tearfully, “and I could not have gone into labor without you here. That was one of my biggest fears before you arrived at my door- I just wanted you here with us.

“And you are certainly welcome to try and feed Eowyn,” you tease, “but last time I checked you aren’t producing milk and besides, it’s not your fault. She’s mere hours old and I haven’t even begun to try to fill up a bottle or two for you to use. Just please don't beat yourself up, my Star. You mean the whole world to me and I couldn’t have done any of this without you. Not to mention- Eowyn adores you so you have to stick around.”

Astarion’s heart glows and cracks at the same time. He would never leave you- he may raise Eowyn with questionable morals, but he has no intentions of not being a part of her life until both of you are long gone and his own time comes.

Everything else you said though? It did help to throw the worst of his negative feelings out.

“I never intended on leaving,” he says quickly, not thinking about how his feelings may have sounded, “but thank you, my Love. I needed to hear that.”

“Of course, anytime.”

The two of you talk and obsess over how adorable she is, what features she seems to have from who, etc. You eventually fall asleep leaning against Astarion while feeding Eowyn.

When she’s done, Astarion gently takes her from your arms and burps her like every parenting book says to do. It’s not a ridiculously hard process, but the spit up on his shirt is definitely not his favorite.

“Really? This is my nice shirt!” He whispers at Eowyn who just smiles at him, “okay fine, you can spit up on my shirts.”

Eowyn yawns and goes back to sleep- it takes everything in Astarion not to melt into a puddle. He didn’t think a yawn could be so adorable in his whole life.

You begin to snore softly again and Eowyn is right behind you. Astarion chuckles to himself and places a soft kiss on Eowyn’s forehead.

He’s excited to introduce her to everyone- Dal has been sending letters non-stop asking when she can visit. Astarion has been procrastinating because he knows she’ll bring Petras too and if you hadn’t made it… well it would not have been a happy union.

Dal is already referring to herself as Eowyn’s aunt which made Astarion slightly uncomfortable at first because he and his siblings had never truly been close, but then she visited with Petras, Aurelia, and even Violet during your 7th month of pregnancy and you all had hit it off very well and, without Cazador, Astarion found he actually enjoys his siblings’ company. They are actually decent people now that they aren’t all being horribly abused. Well, Violet may be the exception, she’s still a shit who loves to play pranks, but at least they aren’t painful or out of vengeance.

Then there are his traveling companions- his chosen family as you refer to them as. Every single one of them is going to want to meet Eowyn and smother her in love. He’s most excited to see Lae’zel’s reaction- she’s going to be horrified by how squishy human children are, but Eowyn will win her over.

Astarion decides to talk to you about having them visit once you are awake and if you seem to be feeling much stronger. He knows one thing for sure though- Eowyn is going to have the biggest and most loving family anyone could ever have.

[cator99]

I was just at one of those fucked up type stores today... I was bringing up a bewildering product issue with the manager when he just said "yeah welcome to [store location], everything's fucked"... told him I already recieved a warm welcome, someone stole my jacket from its spot behind register... people here will steal anything that isn't bolted down..... later, someone's shelf slipped out of place with mostly glass jars on and I was called over to help because while they had managed to hold it in place to prevent disaster, they needed me to grab the whole thing and then lift and push it into place... How tf did that even happen........ oh also I watched the manager slap a woman's butt and then call her an old hag and I was like uhhhhhh wtf but she seemed into it and called him an old fart I thought they were just being cheeky and that was maybe his wife (why else would you do that) but after enough time spent in the vicinity of him realized that he had a well established flirtationship with literally every other woman his age (like... late 60s, early 70s??) that came in– knew them all by name, was very direct, very handsy, one was even there with her husband– to which the manager said "what are you doing with my wife?" and they all shared a good laugh and some gropings– Idk dude... the environment here was wack. Horny elderly people everywhere. Being old must be very weird experience and I don't ever see them at the night club so I guess they gotta have somewhere to get weird with each other. It would definitely be at The Fucked Up Grocery Store. But yeah I'm pretty lucky I managed to find my jacket again at all. I think the thief probably snatched it assuming there'd be anything in the pockets and then was pissed to find that wasn't the case n tossed it on the ground in front of the hamburglar. Also a dude had a freakout in the store at some point and everyone was trying to get him to calm down idk what it was about tho because I was focused on playing oat milk shelf puzzles... just another tyler day.....

[wrens-versus-the-world]

"Aha, no" K. Ayato x Isekai!reader

In which Y/n l/n gets isekaied into one of her favorite games : Genshin impact. The only plot twist is that she gets isekaied into the body of a high ranking noble in inazuma. that same noble is to be wed to the infamous Kamisato Ayato.

Genshin Impact does not belong to me, but hoyoverse!

Also posted on wattpad

please note that this fic has some... fancy language (aka me giving chapters some fun titles lol)

Chapter one:

Ah yes, the start of every isekai

Maybe staying up late playing genshin wasnt the best idea...

Located: (here)

Chapter two:

First of all, who the fuck are you?

In which you meet a strange man in a strange room who offers you a deal that you have no mind to refuse

located: (here)

Chapter three:

Introducing the Hag

finding yourself in a new world isnt too bad, until you meet the man who's your supposed father

located: (here)

Chapter four:

And that's how I came to live in a teapot. ehe!

coming soon

located: (here)

[newkatzkafe2023]

Kid scenarios gender bent and regular. Really liked the idea. If possible and when you have time.

Oh goodness let the madness continue

(S/N)=son name

(D/N)= Daughter name

(Lmk Wukong) You couldn't believe that. You will never expect your life to end up the way it was. You were once a palace Warrior Guarding the peaches of immortality and now you've got kidnapped by the one who kept stealing those peaches. And now you're her husband Mildly sick of her affection for you and quietly hitting the bottle whenever she leaves. This was not what you signed up for as you were by yourself again drinking bourbon. You were soon attacked by a tiny figure.

(???) Baba! I found baba!

You look down to see a tiny monkey girl. Who looks exactly Like your wife and that Already scares you. And then you heard other tiny little voices

BABA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh God

Meanwhile with Sunny Wukong She's been pretty down lately. She came back from another date with you. But it seems like you are more annoyed than ever when you got back. She brushes her fur quietly with tears in a corner of her eyes. She knows your marriage has been in a rough patch lately. But she really wants to fix things up with you. But it just seems like you hate her The more she tries.

Monkey (S/N) Are you thinking about him again???

Wukong Looks up to see a little boy sitting on a Nimbus cloud. He look exactly like you but with her sunny disposition.

Monkey (S/N) I would have thought by now that you would know when he's really feeling and when that's just his face

Wukong was confused Who is this tiny cub? Where did he come from? and dad? Was he talking about you?

(Lmk Wukong) As a matter of fact I am He's been loving me a lot less lately and I don't know what to do. Why does my husband hate me😥

The mysterious club look towards his mother. It was no brainer that his father was a tough nut to crack, not mention very anti social. But there is one thing he disagrees with her about

Monkey (S/N) He doesn't hate you

(Lmk Wukong) How would you know???

The younger monkey thought to himself

Monkey (S/N) Follow me please

If the monkey queen was confused but dead what she was asked And followed the cab to a remote location of the island and There the two saw something incredible. It was you sitting in the middle of a lot of little girl. Cubs that look exactly like her. Some were hugging you,others were climbing on Your back. There were two that was talking your ear off and a tiny little one sleeping on your lap. And you know what's the crazy part you're a smiling. You are smiling at all these little girls.

Monkey (S/N) Dad doesn't hate you mom otherwise you wouldn't have all of us

Tears appeared back and the monkey queen's eyes as she feels a lot more hopeful for you and her future

(HIB Wukong) It's Happened again. You and your wife got into yet another argument and she stormed off. Leaving you laying where you were. Why doesn't she get it? You're tired of watching her tire herself apart for other people's approval. And for what her appearance you like her face I should be enough for her. You are proud of everything she does and achieved. Even if she failed, you're happy to know she tried, and that is enough for you. Why can't she understand that.

Monkey (M/N) What a drag😒

(???) We totally get it

That's when you look up to see a pair of Twin teenager Girls who Interesting enough Is looked exactly like your wife but was just as exhausted as you.

Meanwhile, your wife was stopping around brooding to herself when she smacked into a smaller figure.

(???) Watch were you going you hag!

(HIB Wukong) The hell did you call me?!

That's when she turns to see a grouchy Little boy glaring up at her, interesting enough he exactly like you But he was grouchy like her.

Back with you and the two girls You tiredly told them the issues between you and your wife. The two quietly listened to what you had to say before sharing their Thoughts on the matter

1p Monkey (D/N) Mother isn't trying to get the world's approval

2p Monkey (D/N) She's trying to get yours

This confuses you, You thought your wife knew about how You felt about her why is she So Paranoid now

1p Monkey (D/N) You are the only one who treated mom with some kind of decency

2p Monkey (D/N) You were with mama since the very beginning you are her greatest treasure. She loves what she has with you and she doesn't want to lose that.

1p Monkey (D/N) If she has to change some part herself Even if it's a slight adjustment, that means she'll have less of a chance to lose you.

Your stone heart breaks in two as you thought about the twins's words.

With Sunny Wukong she is stopping in the woods back to you next to the boy She bumped into earlier

(HIB Wukong) Ugh Why are you still following me?

Monkey (???) Don't flatter yourself hag. I'm simply trying to find my sisters so we can go home

Wukong did Not like the attitude of this little boy. But it seems to be familiar

Monkey (???) Aren't you the monkey queen?

(HIB Wukong) Yes I am

Monkey (???) What happened to your lazy husband?

That's When will Wukong stopped First of all, who is this kid to insult her husband and second. She should really be getting back to, but she's a little nervous. You could still be angry with her and wouldn't want to talk to her.

(HIB Wukong) Not that you would care of anything but We had a disagreement

Monkey (???) Is that right my old man and The woman always getting into a fight. She would storm off and the old Geezer would stay at home and brood But in the end, the old hag always runs back to him.

(HIB Wukong) Sounds exhausting

Monkey (???) Well that's how their relationship always worked. They would Argue almost every day She could be screaming at him and he could just be giving underhand Insults. But she would always come back home and demand cuddles from him. Dad would tirely hug mom before they give their silent apologies. It may be toxic to the outside world. But that's the only way they're relationships going to work.

Wukong Was suffering a bit of deja vu, That sounds exactly like you and her not that She will ever admit that but that was Dangerously similar. Then it hits her

(HIB Wukong) Hey I think I may know where your sisters are

Monkey (???) I think I know too

The two walk back Is to the cottage just to find you sitting there with the twins. The little boy runs out to his sisters and hugs them, as they returned his affection You and Wukong Is walk towards each other in silence

Monkey (M/N) There seems to be some things we need to discuss together

(HIB Wukong) It seems You're right

You told them hug each other as the Is chids watched the two of you

Monkey (S/N): Man the old hag and that geezer really don't change🤮

Monkey Twins: And we wouldn't have it any other way☺️☺️

(Mk Reborn Wukong) This is war. Tensions were high as you and your wife were on A chinese standoff against what seems to be your kids from the future. Your son was glaring into your soul standing right in front of his mother while you did the same. Your daughter and wife were having a hissy match mini cat fight Trying to display dominance over the other as Your little girl hung from your shoulder. It was a hot freaking mess and Neither master tang or the pilgrims knew what to do in this situation at all. But all I can say is that everybody's possessive Instincts have punched a hole in the ceiling As the family of four afford for their respective Parents and children.

Monkey (S/N) Mama is mine😡

Monkey (M/N) Well I had your mama first 😡

Monkey(S/N) Why??? is not like you wanted her in the first place

Monkey (M/N) Between you and me, I didn't want her. But that doesn't mean anybody else can have Her especially you

You and your son continued to glare at each other and while you're Wife and daughter would just Hissing at each other till one of you submits.

(NR Wukong) You're not sure how this came to be. First of all you're sitting next year's son who Says he's from the future and one of your daughters who is Taking a nap while clinging on To you as you watch your two oldest twins, gossip and chat with their mom as they do each other's make up I'm brushing there fur. Out of all the bizarre things that your wife has caused you to be part of this has to be the The final straw.

(S/N): Dad why is this happening to us aren't we good monkeys😥😢

Monkey (M/N) Well, you are, I clearly did something to the universe to p*** it off. And now i'm married to An immortal crackhead who Exploited my love For alcohol.

Monkey (S/N) I feel sorry for you😔

Monkey (S/N) I pity you the same kid😮‍💨

(Netflix Wukong) It was complete chaos down at the village. The monkey queen and her son From the future apparently Are running to The Town square as the villagers ran in the opposite directions. Not only were they under attack by some demon gang but Her husband and her daughter choose this as an excuse to finally bite the collor off. They flew off the hinges, When the two finally arrived The demon invaders were running for their dear lives. As a little girl, no older than 4 was hanging off One of them while throwing makeshift grenades at them. And then there was her husband running around the battlefield. Chopping heads off left and right it was a bloodbath.

(Netflix Wukong) I gave birth to that?!?😨

Monkey (S/N): You did I was as shocked as you are but dad was pretty stoked so

Wukong Was at a loss for words as she stood next to her son

Monkey (S/N) Although now they're looking at some of these Bodies This would be very good for my taxidermy hobby

Wukong Slowly turned her head to face her son

Monkey (S/N) Don't worry mom I usually wait until they're already dead i'm not A monster

Oh god is this what is like to be the only sane one?😥😥

FEEL FREE TO REBLOG

[v-vina]

HxH Character’s Search History

Gon

-Ging

-Ging maps

-Green outfits

-Ging location

-What is 3+7?

-slime videos

Killua

-killugon fanart

-How to murder your family (with pictures)

-Hot Topic

-how to be a good big brother

-romance anime

-how to be cool

-how to build a nuclear bomb

Leorio

-fast money making

-how to make money fast

-billionaires secrets

-how to get on someone's will

-ballad health

-doctor application

-how to look younger

Kurapika

-Chrollo slander

-spiders 

-phantom troupe location

-chains

-Kurta eyes

-how to become a part of the Mafia

-phantom troupe slander

Hisoka

-hisogon

-hisogon fanart

-bungee gum

-how to gain custody of a minor

-deck of cards Amazon

-how to keep a snatched waist

-clown makeup tutorial

Illumi

-how do I use this device 

-Killua location

-Killua google maps

-how to get your brother to get home

-needles

Zushi 

-gacha life videos 

-how to become strong

-nen explanation

-how to get free robux

Chrollo

-I'm holy

-holy bible

-chain user

-find my child - Uvogin

-spiders

-I can't use my nen. What do I do?

Bisky

-JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

-How to take care of kids

-Greed Island

-Hisoka

-training ideas

-am I an old hag quiz

Ging

-condoms

-how to get a 12 year late abortion

Tonpa

-poison

-McDonald's hamburger

-chicken wings

-food

-Chick-fil-a

-Walmart meat section

-Uber Eats

-am I fat?

Meruem

-Are humans incompetent?

-Gungi

-How long can a human function without sleep, water, or food?

-My body guards are being weird. What do I do?

-What does blind mean?

-What is love like?

Please don't repost.

[lutethebodies]

More Notes on a Duo Act 1/Act 2 Playthrough

Here's Part 4 of tracking my swords bards' 14th playthrough day-by-day in-game, sans hirelings and (most) companions. Continuing from Solo Notes, More Solo Notes, and Duo Notes. This entry wraps up all the Act 1 stuff in the span of six jam-packed long rests, all below the cut:

Day 11. Nuked the spectator first thing; Minthara baited it and then Cannor shot the smokepowder/oil barrels behind the creature to incinerate it in one hit. Went for the drow studded leather afterward. Then relieved the kua-toa of their fake god. Then did for the hag and redcaps in the swamp (smites work wonders) and sent Mayrina and her zombie-husband on their way to the city. Our heroes were running low on barrels, so Minthara stole four smokepowder containers while Cannor distracted the Zhent with performance. Called on the ogres again to help with defeating Filro and the hook horrors. Decided to keep them on to see what they could do vs Grym or the phase spiders. Warped to Moonhaven and camped.

Day 12. Finished up Moonhaven by making the sussur dagger, destroying the phase spiders, and snagging the Poisoner Robe for Minthara's collection. Feather-fell back into the Underdark and returned to the Forge area. When four Zhent smokepowder barrels failed to make a real dent in Grym, Cannor called for the ogres to use them as bait, then while they died horribly, he crushed Grym with the forge’s hammer. That reduced it to 2hp, but then Cannor and Minthara had to do the super-heating thing again to finish it off. Underdark and Grymforge complete, they returned to the Myconid Colony and camped.

Day 13. Turns out the Zhents were salty about smokepowder barrel theft. How unfortunate—for them. After dealing with that, our heroes did other sorts of Act 1 cleanup, like drinking Omeluum’s potion (Cannor), and snipe-bombing the bridge gith (without Voss and Lae’zel, they were no match for Level 6 Minthara). Proceeded to the monastery and demolished the gremishkas. Camped in the creche (also shoutout to this location in general, one of my favorites in-game, for the late-afternoon sunlight, weird alien vibe, and eerie ambient soundtrack).

Day 14. Deciding to get the gith before the gith figured out they were infected, our heroes took on the whole creche stealthily and methodically, clearing the main hallway, infirmary, dorm, training room, and hatchery (where Minthara decided to swipe the egg for Esther after all). Hit level 7 after the latter. Camped in the crags.

Day 15. Finished the job, clearing the entrance, back door, captain's quarters, and inquisitor's room (both of the latter with barrelmancy). Lied to Vlaakith's face by promising to kill the person in the prism. For the first time ever, Cannor nuked the monastery—getting out with no injuries. Camped in the crags.

Day 16. Used some standard kettle-barrelmancy for the Death Shepherds first thing, because fuck them. They traumatized me so badly on my first playthrough a year ago and I've never forgiven them. I've always despised undead and give them radiance and fire in-game whenever I can. Anyway, our heroes traded with Esther one last time and then warped to Last Light and Act 2, leaving Act 1 permanently. Day 16 will continue next time.

[jules-has-notes]

Snow Spears and the Seven Dwarves (Unexpected Musicals) — PattyCake Productions music video

There's an element of fantasy and fairy tales in modern pop culture stardom. Celebrities can be plucked out of obscurity and thrust into positions of power they're unprepared for, or toppled from their pedestals for superficial reasons.

When the guys of PattyCake Productions were considering how to make their debut / proof of concept to the world, they leaned into their greatest strengths — music and visual storytelling. Layne and Tony built on their experience with VoicePlay's musical medleys and expanded that idea into a full story arc. Blending the music of one of the biggest singers of the late 90s with a timeless childhood narrative (not to mention incredible costumes, sets, and a wealth of talent from among their theme park friends) resulted in this incredibly fun reimagining of a Disney classic.

Details:

title: Unexpected Musicals – Snow Spears and the Seven Dwarves

performers: Olivia Adkins (Snow White); Michelle Knight (Queen); Layne Stein (magic mirror); Tony Wakim (huntsman); Jason Tibbs (Prince); Jen Vargas, Tymisha Harris, Robin Buda, Kathy Castellucci, Jose Rodriguez, Tina Fleming, & Charlie Crook (dwarves)

original songs / performer: all songs by Britney Spears — "I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman"; [1:20] "I'm A Slave 4 U"; [1:45] "Boys"; [2:12] "Till the World Ends"; [2:45] "Toxic"; [3:45] "Hold It Against Me"

written by: "I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman" by Max Martin, Rami Yacoub, & Dido Armstrong; "I'm A Slave 4 U" by Chad Hugo & Pharrell Williams; "Boys" by Chad Hugo & Pharrell Williams; "Till the World Ends" by Lukasz "Dr. Luke" Gottwald, Alexander Kronlund, Max Martin, & Kesha Sebert; "Toxic" by Cathy Dennis, Christian Karlsson, Pontus Winnberg, & Henrik Jonback; "Hold It Against Me" by Max Martin, Lukasz "Dr. Luke" Gottwald, & Bonnie McKee

arranged by: Layne Stein & Tony Wakim

release date: 29 August 2016

My favorite bits:

the flute trills in the "Not A Girl" orchestration to emulate Snow's songbird friends so that they didn't have to show them on screen

Snow harmonizing with the echo in the well

bassy Layne as the magic mirror & Tony's cameo as the huntsman

the dwarves' jaunty whistling à la "Heigh Ho" during "Boys" (and the fact that most of them are women)

using "Toxic" to underscore the Evil Queen's poisoned apple machinations 🍎

Michelle switching between two different timbres for the Queen and the Hag

the slightly spicier tone of the Prince's introduction due to the choice of "Hold It Against Me"

also, the screen-accurate costuming — Holy moly, Tony.

Trivia:

The final scene had to be filmed over the course of four days in order to get consistent lighting in the outdoor location.

Olivia later reprised her role as Snow White in several other Unexpected Musical videos, and in the Princess Academy series.

Michelle has reprised her role as the Evil Queen for many episodes of their Villains Lair series. When she appears, the visual effect of Layne's face as the magic mirror is often reused in the background.

Michelle has also played Snow White in a satirical musical called Disenchanted! that began at the 2011 Orlando Fringe Festival and had an off-Broadway run a few years later.

[willow-the-druid]

We explored a great deal of the blighted village, a place once called Moonhaven. Scattered missing posters and an old school journal told me that children and their families had mysteriously disappeared over some time. Shadowheart seemed a little stirred up about that information. I feel like she's hiding something from me, but I don't want to press about what.

Exploring more of the village, we found a cave full of webs and a MASSIVE phase spider. There was a large pit near where she died, bur I thought better than to jump down it. We explored another buiding and found a cellar. Hidden behind secret passages and a magic mirror was a laboratory. behind a locked door was a cursed tome, which I quickly destroyed before we left. I was able to gather a fair amount of potion supplies, so it wasn't a total loss.

We then travelled south where we found two men yelling at an old woman. They claimed she was a hag who'd taken their sister. Due to a miscommunication, they attacked us, and were slain. The woman, Auntie Ethel, thanked us, and offered refuge in her home.

Entering the forest, a strange feeling washed over me. Looking around, I realized we were standing in a massive illusion. The lush forest melted away to reveal a putrid swamp. We ventured further, and made our way to Ethel's tea house.

Walking in, we spotted the girl Mayrina, but Ethel snapped her fingers and she vanished. I talked to Ethel for a moment, and she made mention of our tadpole problem. She offered to help, but I know better than to trust a hag. We attacked her there in her home, and we successfully killed her before she could escape us.

We headed down into her lair, looking to resuce her victims. We were able to recover a few, but some were too far gone to be saved. We rescued Mayrina, where she informed me that she had planned to trade her unborn child in exchange for Ethel reviving her husband. I found a cursed wand that might have done that, but I broke it out of fear of the evil magic within it.

Exploring more of the swamp, we met a monster hunter! He said he had been set out to capture the vampire spawn, Astarion. A monster hunter after one of my companions? I'll admit, Astarion and I don't always see eye-to-eye, but to send him off with a hunter? I didn't have the heart to let him go. Especially after he traded his rogue lifestyle for that of a bard. He's become much more entertaining lately.

We took out the monster hunter rather effectively. I hope we don't come to regret it.

Looking over the map, I realized we were close to the marked location for Kagha's note. We explored further, took out some mud mephits, and found the letter. It turns out Kagha is working for the Shadow Druids! I can't let this stand. We need to return to the Grove and stop her before she completes the Rite of Thorns.

[christmas-shenanigans]

Session 4: Fri 22 Dec 2023

Last session before Christmas! I was out last week so let’s see if I can catch up. Halbrecht is late; we get a WhatsApp message: “I am late.” We are joined this week by Bosley, and his pseudodragon Guts!

(Apologies if I have misheard some of the following...)

We need to speak to the Kayak to get access to the fey world, in order to locate a potion of flying from that place. (I know it's Cailleach. I can't be bothered typing that every time.) This is the final ingredient needed by Cuthwulf Toggleswock, who is trying to make a cure for the Bleaching, a condition that afflicts gnomes who have been away from the fey realm for too long.

We have a key, which we can try to offer the Kayak as payment:

Who is most diplomatic? Valeros has a plus 8, so we shove him forward. He tosses his hair and looks nonchalant as he holds up the key. The Kayak raises an eyebrow. “Careful with that, boy.”

Wee Jock bangs his hammer on the ground and demands that she “show us the way to Christmas Land, hag!” He gets kicked from Roll20 before he can roll Diplomacy. He rejoins and rolls a 5. Valeros slaps a hand over his mouth, and they roll contested Dex checks; Valeros wins, so Wee Jock drops his hammer on Valeros’ foot.

The Kayak looks at Skabb and says that she bears the mark of her sisters. She says that if the goblins wanted to know something from her, they would have sent their wisdom. We call the ugly goblin forward - she’s a Wisdom! Skabb produces the little pet things as well and exhibits them. Mini Wise One!

You haven’t come here on behalf of Pinereek, the Kayak says. No, but we’re here because of Tallywhacker! Wangledong! We’re here to help save the gnomes! Skabb makes a Diplomacy check. 20!

The Kayak points at the Key. “Bring it here.” Skabb brings Valeros forward. He is holding the key between his tensed pecs; he jiggles them. She snatches the Key. How many of us have been to the Fey world? The Kayak points at Half-Brick. “Your Gods have no sway in the First World.” His magic will be patchy over there... She gives him a token to make his magic work when we get there.

Nothing we kill will stay dead, and no damage we do will be fatal, we are warned.

She gives Skabb a scroll to help her open the gateway. We will need to perform a ritual. She has given Klipp Klopp the knowledge of the location. Perform the ritual there and the gate will open.

There is a guard that will attempt to prevent entry to Christmas Land; the only way in is to defeat him.

We head back to Pinereek for a rest. (Before we go, Valeros just wants to check - she doesn’t find him at all attractive, does she? He receives a flat ‘no’ for an answer.)

The goblins are still working their way through the gert squiggler. (Skabb stuffs some in Zorya’s mouth; she spits it out. Skabb waits until no-one is looking to scoop up the discarded squiggler and put it back in her pocket.)

We rest, and get back all hit points, spell slots, and focus points. (Not normally allowed in Pathfinder, but it’s Christmas. Yay!)

Valeros drinks heavily when we get back, staring into a mirror and wondering why the hag doesn’t think he’s the sexiest thing she’s ever laid eyes on. He begins crying uncontrollably. Skabb offers him a paper bag “so you don’t have to worry about how hideous you are!” Mialee pats him half-heartedly on the shoulder, and Halbrecht offers him some cheese.

While we are drinking the door opens and Rokmoxa appears looking angry. “Where is she?” Skabb tries to scrabble away, but she grabs her by the ankle. She’s looking for Zorya. “Where are my herbs?” Zorya plays innocent and starts turning out her pockets. Skabb wants to know what she has and starts sniffing her. There is a faint smell of herbs about her, but we’ve just been in the Kayak’s cave. Rokmoxa warns Zorya to watch her back if she ever comes back to this village. Zorya, laughing: “Okay!”

We must follow Klipp Klopp the following morning, to the place where we are to perform the ritual to open the gate to Christmas Land. Skabb spends the journey trying to convince Klipp Klopp to come with her after this adventure, to no avail. We traipse through the forest for quite some time before we see this:

In the woods near the portal is a half orc and a pseudodragon, eating cheese. It’s Bosley and Guts!

He knows some of us, so he puts his cheese down and joins us.

We take out the scroll. Skabb will need help casting the ritual - we have an arcane trickster and a cleric who might be able to do the job. Cheese Boy 1 and the Tricksome Elf step forward.

Arcana check from Mialee - nat 1 for a 14 total but that’s enough. Zorya notices low-grade magic appear as Mialee sprinkles powders, but nothing has changed yet. Halbrecht nat 20’s his Religion check! Some of the snowflakes on the portal start to glimmer and shine. Skabb is next with her Primal magic. 14 Nature check, and that’s enough after Halbrecht’s crit.

The portal opens and we go through…

Bosley mentions that he saw someone else come along and try to open the portal earlier, but they apparently failed.

Skabb looks down at her pocket full of squiggler to see Guts trying to get a bite; she feeds him some.

Zorya finds some bugs for Skabb; they are shiny and not gross at all. She waits until the others are occupied to give them to her and quietly apologise for spiting out the squiggler. Skabb is very pleased and squishes them to make them gross enough to be palatable. They tinkle as she crushes them. (And scream, I think?)

We remember about the Guardian; Wee Jock readies his hammer and farts in preparation. Skabb scuttles up a tree and readies a fireball. Mialee and Zorya also scale trees. Bosley readies his crossbow. Valeros scouts ahead, with Wee Jock following.

The snow gets heavier, almost blizzard-ish. (Valeros is still depressed. Wee Jock: "Would a prostitute help?" Valeros: “I shouldn’t have to pay.” WJ: "Don’t worry, I’ll pay." V, cheering up instantly: "Goddammit, I’m in!")

We hear an awful noise and coming up the path is this:

We make Will saves, some of us re-rolling with Hero Points. Even so, most of us are Frightened…

The Goose attacks Valeros, as he has found himself face to face with it. He makes a Reflex save against its Goose Chill, but fails and takes the damage. It makes a multi-attack against him as well.

Zorya shoots, but even a 22 doesn’t hit. She hides again.

Skabb had a fireball readied, so she is allowed to use it before she takes her turn.

(This Goose is a re-skinned regular D&D creature; Mialee guesses an adult white dragon and she’s right.)

Bosley uses his readied action to mark the Goose as his prey:

Skabb casts Elemental Betrayal, choosing to amplify Fire damage. She then casts Fireball. The Goose steps neatly out of the way. DM, smug: “He will take none of the damage, thank you.”

The Goose moves and does a Goose Chill, hitting Wee Jock:

It then does its Breath Weapon attack, hitting everyone but Valeros and Zorya:

Mialee is hidden, so can sneak attack - if she hits. 25 will do it! It takes 15 damage, which is more than she rolled… Cold iron weapon, likely. 12 is a miss, and she uses her last action to hide.

Wee Jock can rage as a reaction so he is already there. He has Titan Wrestler, so he has a go at tripping it. Athletics check against the Goose’s Reflex DC - he rolls a 24. That’s a fail… He swings at it with his hammer instead, and does an extra 6 Rage damage on top of the 10 he rolls for the weapon. It takes 21! Those are good numbers. He will grapple it! “I’ll grab it by the neck. That’s how you grapple a goose,” he says, knowledgeably. 28 Athletics this time. Can he scream at it as a free action?

Halbrecht heals Skabb for 27 HP. He casts Guidance on Wee Jock as well, by using an obscene gesture.

Valeros and Wee Jock make Perception checks; 12 and 17 respectively. Wounds start to heal over on the Goose… (Skabb asks Zorya how she would feel about stealing a heart out of a chest…)

Skabb and Mialee make Perception checks, as does Halbrecht - Mialee sees that some sort of magic has been cast on the Goose. Halbrecht can see it was healing magic, and Skabb sees that it came from behind the Goose.

Valeros scales the Goose - 26 Athletics. “Time to get slashy.” He stabs the Goose with a 32, which hits for 18 damage, and it takes 23. The Goose sprays some freezing blood on him, doing him 7 cold damage and slowing him for 1 round.

Bosley has never played Pathfinder before, he’s a D&D kind of half-orc, so there is a lot of sorting out that happens while he grapples with the mechanics of the game. He shoots the Goose first of all, 25 hits for 9 piercing! He moves over to a tree, and uses his last action to give Guts two actions. Guts flies up into the Goose’s face. He dazzles the Goose, meaning we are all Concealed!

Zorya crits her next attack doing 33 damage total! She hits twice more, earning herself two Hero Points and a new epithet - Goosebane. (She doesn’t bother hiding…)

Skabb tracks the source of the healing of the Goose. She uses an action to give Grabby Cat two actions and has her fly 25 feet straight up to look around for whatever is working against us. 21 Perception, but she doesn’t see anything. (Wee Jock, OOC: “Do you remember when 21 was a good roll…”) Skabb shouts “There’s a magic bastard healing this Goose!” She wants to vomit bugs at the Goose, but it will hurt her friends so she runs up and starts gnashing its legs with her cold iron teeth!

The Goose does a Ground Slam attack, forcing a Reflex save from everyone on the ground within 10 feet. It then does a multi attack at Valeros, Skabb and Wee Jock. It is dazzled, so it must roll a d20 before it can attack.

Mialee attacks for 13 piercing plus cold iron damage, then misses twice. Wee Jock swings his hammer and misses, all three actions.

Halbrecht wants to know who’s looking poorly. He could heal us all, but that would heal the Goose as well. He Heals Valeros instead, and casts Guidance on him.

The Goose’s wounds heal up again…

Skabb makes a Perception check - behind the Goose and to the north.

Valeros’ turn, and he would like to swing around the goose with a rope and tie its legs like an AT-AT. DM, dubiously: “… That’s going to be a hell of an Athletics check.” Valeros rolls; “… let me Hero Point that.” He rolls a second 11. “You are dangling there like a limp scrotum.”

He wants to get into its mouth and try to use his own body to choke it to death. He decides to swing to the ground and slash at its knees. 35 crit! 27 damage plus cold iron! He’s just undone most of the healing that our mysterious adversary has bestowed on it. He takes some Freezing Blood damage and is slowed.

Bosley slams a healing potion, regaining 15 hp. (There is a plus 1; he can add that to various saving throws.) His crossbow isn’t loaded. Can he throw it at the Goose? He uses an action to give Guts two, and has him do some damage. 27 hits! Guts does 1 piercing damage. 23 hits as well, as it’s flanked! Another 1 piercing damage.

Zorya shoots three more arrows; only 1 hits but she gets Sneak Attack because it’s flanked.

Skabb has a spell that sends out helpful wood spirits; can she have them search using her Perception modifier? She could, but Grabby Cat rolled really well and couldn’t see the source of the mysterious healing. The DM generously hints that she could use Detect Magic instead. She does that and rolls a Perception check. She gets a ping! She shouts to Mialee and Zorya to tell them where it is.

The Goose has spotted Zorya and flies over to attack her. 27 damage total… Ouch.

Mialee’s turn. She drops out of her tree, and hides in a bush behind the Goose-healer and starts stabbing it. “Stab!” She selects a square to attack as the healer is hidden - and gets the right one. It appears. It may count as a munchkin, and might be roastable:

(Bosley is very excited at the prospect of roast munchkin.)

Wee Jock runs up to the Goose and takes a couple of swings at it - his first attack hits but the second misses.

Everyone is tired, so we call it there…

[panigamermauser]

Cut stuff thoughts part3

Tav vs Dark Urge. Plus Minsc and Orin stuff.

I already ranted how hollow and non-existent Tav feels compared to Dark Urge or Companion Origins playtrough.

Companions and Durge all have deep story ties to main plot. Tav has zero anything. Like, I get the concept of Tav as blank self-insert, but... it's D&D, and any half-decent DM will find a way to include your backstory in the campaign. I know I am spoiled by my amazing DM who has been DMing since 80s. Still, very few DMs will not use their players' backstories against them! And game writers are our DM in this case.

Yes, you can say you are a [Baldurian] on some occasions, but it never amounts to anything in the game. 

Your character was gone for a month or so, and suddenly they are clueless about city, and not a single soul knows you?

Amnesiac Shadowheart has some things to say about locations. She has graffiti on the wall to mark her existence in the city. Has a quest. 

Astarion comments a lot about locations. Has a quest. 

Karlach was gone for 10+ years. People still remember her. And she is tied with the main story. 

Gale is not a Baldurian, but he still knows a lot about the city and has exclusive content there. 

Jaheira and Minsc has always been part of the city, as they should. 

Wyll is Duke's son, with all that it means for the plot.

Hermit druid of Halsin had cut content that tied him to city plot. It was cut, but at least it was planned, you know? And there's still a chance they will put it back in.

Lae, who is a literal fucking alien,  has more content the city than Tav who supposedly lived there all their lives and was gone for about a month only.

It was said in act1 that it is about ten days of travel between Grove and Baldur's gate in normal circumstances. So I added all the long rests I had to it. It ended up being barely over a month for me.

So why could not Tav (at least the one who consistently chose Baldurian dialogue options) start with a map with all points of interest already marked, at least? They surely would know every major location and at least some stores instead of 'discovering' them by stumbling there. Why no one knows Bard/Performer Tav? Or Folk Hero Tav? Or Noble Tav? Or even criminal Tavs?

We have several quests both with cops and criminal organizations for Criminal to be mentioned.

There are taverns and a music shop where Bard Tav could have gotten 'hey I heard you perform before'.

Noble Tavs could have gotten 'an honor to serve someone of your family' from vendors in Lower City.

There could be banter for Folk Hero with Gur or Hag victims or even Harpers.

Clerics and Paladins Tavs could be recognized in churches.

Even non-Baldurian/Outlander/Hermit Tav could have some background banter with opinions on being in major city.

And yet the best you can get is a generic inspiration point you share with your companions who already have more content than you?

You can kill every single companion on sight, and the game will still care more about them than Tav. They are/were an objective part of the world even if the PC never talked to them.

Even Durge still existed in the world of Tav. You can find their corpse in Orin's bedroom. so everything in Durge's backstory objectively happened. They existed and mattered!

But if you do not play Tav - there's simply no Tav in game's world. And never were. Tbh at this point I want to make Astarion's, Wyll's and Durge's Guardian to be Wysteria. Just so she could exist in the world and be remembered by game characters. Like, they could see a sexy bard perfown and think 'WOULD' at least once.

But apparently Tav was not meant to exist originally. So it explains it.

I wonder what made them decide to implement castrated Durge character as a separate person. I just want to know why, that's all. It is too late to change it now anyways.

I wish they either committed to Tav and Durge being different people and added proper unique content only Tav will see. Or just not bothered with Tav at all. I hate half-assed approach.

If they wanted to avoid spoilers of Durge being Bhaalspawn during early access... Why? First two games had Bhaalspawn main char. Literally no one would be surprised it's Bhaalspawn again. It's the whole fucking THEME of the series.

Also, the second they said on stream that Durge suffers from severe case of homicidal ideations, literally everyone who knew a single thing about Baldur Gates games said 'and here's our Bhaalspawn'. So what was the point in secrecy?

I just want to know _why_ at this point. Hope writers can explain what they were thinking with making worse Durge as a separate char.

And it would make so much more sense that they planned Minsc to be in Act1 too because of it. Like, imagine Minsc comforting Durge. Being an angel to Butler's demon. 

Butler pushes you to commit crimes. Minsc is there going 'Resist! I used to have a friend just like you. It can be done!' That would have been so good!

But ofc it all would be pointless for Tav, who for all gameplay intends and purposes never existed in the world. So I get why they changed it.

And it's a shame. Having Minsc since Act1 would have been wonderful💖

Same goes for Orin's cut content. Imagine her hounding you since act 1. Because she realises she screwed up and her Bhaalsib is still alive.

Also, her vs gith'yanki would have been an amazing story arc overall. Like, Big Bad Three control an illithid elder brain. Which does make gith'yanki their enemies by default.

And it would be even better for players who keep Lae alive (or play gith'Tav!). Like, it would make kidnapping Lae in Act3 so personal! And the amount of psychological torture she could dish out to Lae/gith'Tav by tadpoling the dragon! Would have been so delicious!

Please put this part back in! 🙏

[unknownmusing]

The Witcher Fanstory - Geralt/Regis Fic: 'The Witcher's Bane'

----------------------------------------

Summary:

After a Contract goes heavily wrong, Geralt of Rivia - the Witcher known also as the White Wolf - is left for dead where is discovered by his long-term friend Regis, who realises he must do something which no Higher Vampire must do - turn a person into one of their own kind.

Months later,after the events of the failed contract, Geralt with no memory of the failed Contract is summoned to Beauclair, Toussaint by the Duchess Anna Henrietta to solve a series of grisly murders being done by a mysterious beast.

However things become complicated when Geralt begins to find himself experiencing strange flashbacks of a Contract he doesn't remember ever doing, a strange person tending to him and feeling they mean something to him.

Will Geralt find out answers in Toussaint? Who is the mysterious person that tended to him? And what is their connection with the Beast, himself and the grisly murders happening?

-------------------------------

Notes:

Flashback in italics

Contract goes wrong for Geralt leaving him heavily injured and near-death

Involves the Bruxa moment from the Witcher game trailer 'A Night to Remember'

Pictures sourced from Gwent Wiki and other various sources

 Fanvid which one created to connect to this fic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KljvuEXiyWU

----------------------------

----------------

Prologue - 'The Night of when Silver met Fangs' (1 of 2)

Location - Outskirts of White Orchard, Temeria - East of Vizima - Abandoned Farmstead - Late Evening

A vague Contract, half of the writing washed off by the rain or intentionally left out by whoever had written it hangs limply on the Notice Board. 

Taking it down, the Witcher - Geralt of Rivia -  swung himself up into Roach's saddle feeling the glares of the villagers and hearing the snide whispers and occasional spitting on the ground coming from them when he makes his way out of White Orchard to the outskirts.

To them he is just a 'mutant' or 'freak' nothing more, nothing less.

--------------------

Wolves asleep amidst the trees Bats all a swaying in the breeze But one soul lies anxious wide awake Fearing all manner of ghouls, hags and wraiths....

A lullaby is being sung.

Golden cat-like eyes watch from the shadows as the solitary female makes her way to the shoreline of a large lake - it's waters glistening in the moonlight - nearby a abandoned farmstead, where she bends down picking up a small doll - one a child might play with - still continuing to sing.

For your dolly Polly sleep has flown Don't dare let her tremble alone For the witcher, heartless, cold Paid in coin of gold He comes he'll go leave naught behind But heartache and woe Deep, deep woe.....

Stepping out of the shadows, Geralt, waits until the female fully turns herself around to face him with her hands still clutching the child's doll tightly. 

His wolf medallion vibrating on his chest, indicating she is not human after all, when she steps slightly closer to him - keeping though a certain distance. 

Both of them know the reason why - the unaswered question hanging between the space between them, waiting to come down on the Prey being hunted by the Predator, like an executioner's axe severing the neck of a traitor. 

Have you come to kill me, Witcher?"

---------------------------------------

[internettrawler]

Curse of Strahd Campaign ask thing for @mandisawesome:

As for spoilers: we have finished the campaign are our characters are somewhere in the feywild for further chaos

1. Introduce your party: who are they at the start of the campaign?

Elin--half elf feylock whose pact involves being the star of a fey reality TV show

Sariel-Elin’s best friend and a half elf lore bard who is the flesh prison of a demon barbarian that sometimes escapes containment

Narzzy--noble dragonborn thief who learned his trade by stealing food from his family’s kitchens

Sparkle-Narzzy’s forest gnome fighter best friend/self proclaimed bodyguard who is easily distracted by basically everything.

Shaumar-human devotion paladin that was trying to get into fantasy lawschool and did not sign up for this shit

2. How/why did you come to Barovia?

Everyone but the paladin got an invitation to help via a fancy lady that may or may not have been a fey in disguise. The paladin got sucked into Barovia to be the personal plaything of Strahd (aka played came in late and we DM ex machina-ed him in)

3. What did your Tarokka reading reveal?

(The Anarchist) This card tells of history. Knowledge of the ancient will help you better understand your enemy: I see walls of bones, a chandelier of bones, and a table of bones—all that remains of enemies long forgotten.

(the mercenary) This card tells of a powerful force for good and protection, a holy symbol of great hope. The thing you seek lies with the dead, under mountains of gold coins.

(the illusionist) This is a card of power and strength. It tells of a weapon of vengeance: a sword of sunlight. A man is not what he seems. He comes here in a carnival wagon. Therein lies what you seek

(the Broken one) Your greatest ally will be a wizard. His mind is broken, but his spells are strong.

(the Beast) Your enemy is a creature of darkness, whose powers are beyond mortality. This card will lead you to him! The Beast sits on his dark throne.

4. Did your DM make any major changes to the module?

Not really, just let character’s backstories cause chaos. Fey patrons asked for some shit for their show and the bard’s inner demon caused chaos a few times. Paladin almost died of exhaustion from refusing to sleep because of Strahd’s torment, but that was just a slight modification to RAW.

5. Did your party travel with any NPCs?

We tried to travel with Rictavio, but he wanted nothing to do with us. We did the last fourth of the campaign with Ezmeralda.

6. Who is your/the party's favorite NPC?

Blinksy--we bought every toy he would sell us. We were basically Barovian Santa by the end of the campaign. We were also fond of Escher, but he died before we could form as strong a bond as we did with Blinksy

7. Most hated NPC?

The Hags. We hated them so bad. The paladin hated Ez, but even he admitted that the Hags were worse on paper.

8. How did your first meeting with Strahd go?

No one died, but it was at a funeral. We also got our poor tormented Paladin who would have tried to murder him if he wasn’t on like five HP.

9. Did you attend dinner at Castle Ravenloft?

We did. We were polite until the fey patrons insisted on asking the warlock to cause a little chaos by casting remove curse on Strahd. We definitely got thrown into the dungeons and had to escape.

10. What was your favorite location to visit?

The Dread Castle was our favorite place as players. We snuck in at least twice after the dinner. PCs liked Mordenkeinen’s Magnificent Mansion the best because it wasn’t Barovia.

11. What was the scariest thing your party went through?

Baba Lysaga nearly killed everyone in the first round with a well placed spell. Which meant we ended up losing our only healer AND dealing with a demon on top of everything.

12. Did any player characters or beloved NPCs die?

Escher. RIP to a gentleman and writer of moste excellent fictions (which are currently being published and enjoyed by the fey fans). Bard would have died three times if she wasn’t a prison for a demon, Rogue would have died by goat if not for the Fey Patrons.

13. Did anyone find love?

Ismark fell for Paladin. Paladin fell for Bard. Bard rolled shit to spot his feelings, so she fell for Ez, who doesn’t do relationships. Warlock tried her hand at matchmaking and botched it so bad that no one knew who they liked for a while. Escher fell for Rogue. Fighter fell in love with magic and friendship (which is obviously the best ship)

14. What is your favorite memory from the campaign?

Funniest momenst were when Narzzy the rogue botched a slight of hand check to steal from Strahd and grabbed the wrong rod of power and when the warlock bitch-slapped the paladin with eldritch blast because he needed to sleep before he got so exhausted that we had to carry him.

Favorite moment was when we all flew in to stay at one of the player’s houses for the final three sessions for a Strahd murder sleepover complete with creepy snacks and cats (everything’s better with cats).

15. Did you defeat Strahd???

Yes...but we all rolled shit to put that final stake in. Three nat 1s and no rolls above 5 between 5 PC and 2 NPCs for two rounds.

16. Re-introduce your party: who are they currently, or at the end of the campaign?

Narzzy is now a gentleman thief and cook who has started a very successful chocolate trade route into Barovia.

Sparkle is a fighter with more smarts than strength or sense, but now with super shiny sword and a fey familiar that has almost caused two separate inter-planar incidents.

Elin’s show has been renewed for a second season and has a steady stream of fan mail that gives her minor boons (or curses) as she does her thing.

Sariel has gotten a decent hold on her inner demon and accidentally summoned a pegasus. She’s the current fey favorite and the Witchlight monarch.

Shaumar is looking into the feylock’s contract to see if his personal life can stop being broadcast to the entire feywild, especially now since he finally got the bard of his dreams to roll higher than a ten insight to realize that he loved her romantically.

[dankusner]

Cedars mural — Sandwich Hag

Ookuma is serving up Japanese burgers in Dallas

Dallas has no shortage of burgers and no shortage of Japanese cuisine, but Japanese burgers have been virtually nonexistent in the city until now.

Ookuma, a new walk-up restaurant from two local restaurant industry veterans, is serving teriyaki-infused burgers out of a space in the Cedars that previously housed Sandwich Hag.

It’s one of the only places in Dallas making the Japanese fast food classic.

George and YuYee Kaiho of Ka-Tip Thai Street Food leaned on George Kaiho’s childhood as inspiration for Ookuma, which they opened in late June 2024.

Teriyaki burgers, said to have first been created by a Japanese fast food chain in the 1970s, can be found on nearly every street corner in Kaiho’s native Japan.

He saw a wide open opportunity to introduce them to Dallas, the city he’s called home since 2005, he said.

Ookuma owner George Kaiho is pictured at his newly opened walk-up restaurant on Botham Jean Blvd in Dallas.

Ookuma means "big bear" in Japanese, and Kaiho and his wife designed the restaurant's logo to match.

Kaiho, bar manager at cocktail bar Jettison, started making Japanese burgers during the pandemic and served them for a while at the bar as sliders.

He resurrected his recipe when Sandwich Hag chef and owner Reyna Duong asked him and his wife if they wanted to sub-lease her closed restaurant’s kitchen space.

Duong will reopen her Vietnamese coffee shop ChimLanh alongside Ookuma in the coming months.

“I was confident it would work as a concept,” Kaiho said of Japanese burgers.

He couldn’t find any restaurants in Dallas serving Japanese burgers, but he knew they’d be a hit in a city that has proven its love for both burgers and Japanese food.

He also felt compelled to bring a lesser-known facet of Japan’s rich culinary history to Dallas.

Ookuma’s teriyaki burgers, which come with pork, beef or vegan pea protein patties, are the kind of burgers you can’t easily (and wouldn’t want to) set down after the first bite.

The teriyaki sauce yields a delicate patty and a softer-than-average burger.

To make the burgers, Kaiho first gives the patties a quick sear, then finishes them in a simmering, thin teriyaki sauce.

As the patties cook, the meat absorbs the sauce, creating a supremely flavorful burger.

Kaiho serves the patties on toasted brioche buns with Kewpie mayo (no other kind will do, he said), crisp iceberg lettuce and four dill pickles.

The magic of the burger is in its simplicity.

Kaiho tops a burger with teriyaki sauce at his new Japanese burger restaurant Ookuma.

Along with teriyaki burgers, Kaiho also serves a panko fried chicken sandwich with tartar sauce, chicken karaage, takoyaki (battered octopus balls), korokke (potato and meat croquettes) and furikake-seasoned fries.

The menu is simple, and Kaiho plans to keep it that way.

After all, Ookuma is his third job, and he doesn’t consider himself a chef.

“I’m a bartender,” Kaiho said.

“In that sense, I have never cooked and probably will never call myself a chef.”

Kaiho does consider himself a project guy, though.

He’ll pick a food and study it until mastery, then move onto his next project. Ookuma is the product of his pandemic-era Japanese burger project.

His hope, he said, is for Ookuma to be received as not just another burger spot, but an expansion of the city’s diverse culinary landscape.

“I would be very happy if people who live in Dallas feel it is a cultural addition to the city,” he said.

Ookuma is located at 1902 Botham Jean Blvd., Dallas. It is open Wednesday through Sunday from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. instagram.com/ookumaburger.