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estellamiraiauthor · 2 years ago

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The Stars May Rise and Fall: The Annotated Re-read (Chapter 5)

Welcome to the annotated re-read for Chapter 5! If you’re just joining us, check out previous chapters here: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, or get your copy of the ebook here or paperback at any online or local bookstore of your choice!

Chapter 5 is a pretty important chapter in terms of both the story and the backstory, and I think was one that got rewritten a lot… so pull up a chair, this might take awhile?

Chapter 5 picks up where Chapter 4 left off, with Teru arriving at Rei’s apartment building, internally commenting on how quiet it is here compared to the izakaya (Japanese-style pub) where the rest of the band went after the show. Looking back, I think there are quite a few lines like that throughout the book, about how DIFFERENT Rei’s little world feels from the world Teru’s usually a part of.

Rei has cleaned the room, and prepared some expensive-looking cognac�� this was kind of a nostalgic throwback, since the first time I ever had cognac was from an expensive bottle someone had given my boyfriend-now-husband as a gift, and that was a nice memory, so I kind of made it a nice memory for my boys, too. I get a LOT OF FLAK for this scene too… not only is Teru going to a stranger’s house, he’s accepting alcohol from said stranger??? Look, all I can say is, he’s 21, it’s Tokyo in 2000, the attitude toward alcohol in general and the murder rate are just completely different from the US, at least. I can’t really speak to the rest of the world but―again, this isn’t a children’s book designed to teach stranger danger. *sigh*

Related note: None of this was really conscious, but I definitely think Rei’s love language here is gifts. He likes being able to buy expensive things for Teru and to give him both things and opportunities… Teru’s probably more about “acts of service” (yes, I did JUST Google that, so forgive me for not being an expert… just sort of occurred to me through the cognac that Rei likes to take care of Teru through THINGS a lot). Maybe that’s one of the reasons there seems to be such a divide over whether people like them as a couple. I guess I show my love through gifts a lot, too, and it really is my sincere way of showing love, but I also get that like “material things” aren’t supposed to be as good as other ways of giving to a person. Meh. For what it’s worth, Rei’s gifts aren’t only material things (also songs and things that would mostly be an “expense” in terms of time and spoons), but I do think the fact that he started out in the industry dirt poor is also a major factor… now that he does have money, he likes to be able to use it to spoil Teru. I don’t really think that’s a bad thing.

ANYWAY. Getting back to the chapter, Teru does call Rei out on being a dick to Bara. This was definitely added later on, because I wasn’t super crazy about Chapter 3 even then and was trying at least to show that the characters also knew that it was a really immature way to deal with the situation and introduce SOME kind of consequences in terms of early tension in their relationship… but in the end, everyone (including Bara, although we don’t know that yet) ends up in a better situation because of it, so the consequences are kinda limited. Again… meh. I don’t love what I did there, period, this doesn’t really fix it but I tried to acknowledge that it was a dick move?

Rei is a lot nicer to Teru than in their original meeting… I think there are a couple of reasons for this. Most importantly is probably just that Teru hasn’t outright rejected him yet… he’s here AGAIN, isn’t he, which indicates at least some respect for Rei as a musician, so Rei lets his guard down a tiny bit. He’s also had a little bit to drink, which does a lot to calm anxiety (at least for me… these poor characters are both just amalgamations of my own complexes, sorry-not-sorry?), and while it’s not really spelled out explicitly on the page yet, chronic pain also plays a big role in his mood swings… we can assume that this is a “good day” in a variety of ways. So he does give Teru some constructive criticism, but it’s all things that Teru is perfectly aware he needs to work on, and it’s mixed with praise, so doesn’t come off as harsh (I hope?).

Going back to the poor guitarist who became the singer I talked about in Chapter 4, one of the biggest things that guy struggled with was just… how to be a frontman? How to work the crowd? How to not be awkward on stage when it’s really just you, and you don’t have your instrument as a sort of shield? So the focus of this particular “singing lesson” isn’t really singing (at this particular level, no one’s classically trained anyway―it’s much more important to be able to deliver an entertaining show), it’s about staging and how to work the crowd.

And this last part of the chapter is where I did a lot of rewrites, because I knew I needed to be sort of gradually peeling away the mystery of Rei, but I went back and forth a lot on how much of it I wanted to be intentional, and how much to be accidental. In the earlier drafts, too, I was still kind of working out exactly what I wanted the extent of his injuries to be.

One of the things that I knew from the beginning was that he couldn’t ONLY be scarred, because in visual kei that would pretty much be a non-issue. Japanese fans are SUPER good about protecting musicians’ privacy. I know a guy here who has never been seen professionally without his makeup on, whose full name has never been made public… and people have SEEN him without his makeup (I have, too), people KNOW what his name is, but you can’t Google him and find a picture or anything… it’s just a line of privacy that people won’t cross. So Rei could absolutely go on stage in full makeup and a mask, and have a career like that, and it wouldn’t be an issue. I knew that there needed to be another physical and/or psychological reason why he needed to find another voice for his music.

Phantom of the Paradise was another HUGE inspiration here. I STILL tear up almost every single time during that scene where Winslow (the Phantom), who has also lost his voice in the accident that disfigures him, is given a mechanical voice by the villain, Swan. It’s heartbreaking (although, SHOULD it be? Should disability be heartbreaking? That’s a bigger topic for another time I think… but whether it’s right or not, that scene makes me cry), and so I wanted to do something similar, that would still give him the ability to play music, but not necessarily in the way he wanted to or the way he had done before.

So anyway, getting back to the chapter, Rei is coaching Teru on the staging, and at one point he gets a little frustrated because Teru doesn’t GET what he’s trying to say, and Teru gets frustrated in return because it would be a hell of a lot easier if Rei would just SHOW him rather than give him really specific verbal instructions… again, I think Rei is mostly frustrated at himself at this point, because of COURSE it would be easier if he could just show Teru what he wants him to do, and it would be MUCH easier if he could just do it all himself anyway… so he sort of catches himself and calms down, because he really doesn’t want to explain why that’s not a good idea, but his anxiety and frustration have been sort of ignited again.

And then Teru is kind of… naive, I guess. Clueless. I don’t think he’s really trying to overstep the bounds of general manners, but he sort of knows, at some level, that he’s asking something that maybe Rei doesn’t want to talk about, when he asks “Is this what you do before a show?”―note the present tense, and then Rei answers in past tense: “It often helped me to work on the staging before I went on.” And Teru doesn’t quite pick up on that, I think, or if he does, he assumes (without even noticing he’s assuming) that maybe Rei just isn’t in a specific band right now. He wants to ask more, but again, kind of knows that if Rei wanted to talk about it, he would, so he doesn’t, until Rei offers (gifts again!) to pay for the band to record “Yami no Hanabira” as a CD single.

Now, that’s a very expensive gift, and Teru would absolutely know that―remember, the band has only put out demo tapes up to this point. That’s not an easy gift to accept, especially from someone you still don’t really know. And it gives him an opening to ask the question he’s been wanting to ask without really being rude―it makes it easy at this point in the conversation to FINALLY ask why Rei just doesn’t sing the song himself.

And all he says is, “I can’t.”

Teru doesn’t get that. I think he really, legitimately doesn’t get it, and thinks it’s Rei being critical of his own voice, which (whether it’s actually medically plausible or not) is beautiful, and Teru tries to say so.

And that’s what makes Rei’s frustration too much to bear, and we finally see a little bit of his temper, as he bangs on the desk and screams “I can’t” again, in what must definitely seem to Teru like a massive overreaction, and in the process, his cloak falls from his shoulders and Teru goes to pick it up.

Up to this point, he hasn’t really seen Rei up close―he knows that he wears a mask and wig, but again, this is visual kei. He could just be Being Extra™️, or could be trying to hide his identity because he actually is famous, or at least Famous In The Scene? So when Teru rushes to pick up the cloak, because he’s just an excessively kind person (acts of service, I guess?), that’s when he realizes for the first time that the mask is not just a prop, because at that distance he can see that there are scars on Rei’s chin and neck that the mask doesn’t cover, and also notices that his right arm is paralyzed.

This scene was REALLY hard to write, because we’re in Teru’s POV and I needed Teru to be shocked, and a little saddened (see “disability probably shouldn’t be sad but a lot of us still think it is” above), and to sort of convey that shock to the reader through strong visual imagery, but couldn’t seem like either repulsion or fetish-y attraction. No idea if I got it right or not, but I think I stayed true to what I was trying to do with the character at least… maybe not everyone will LIKE that, but that’s OK.

And the first thing that comes to Teru’s mind here is how he felt when Hide, lead guitarist of X Japan, died. Kind of a… secondary grief, I guess? At least for me, it’s a different feeling to lose a celebrity you admire than a loved one. It’s still grief, but it’s harder to explain WHY you’re sad, I think? And I think we feel the same kind of sadness when a disaster occurs or even when we learn about something that happened a long time ago, like I remember feeling really sad when we had to read a book about the Titanic in third grade. I think that’s sort of what Teru feels here… mourning something he can’t really miss because he never really knew it, but is still legitimately sad about?

Somewhat fun aside here: It’s not on the page, but my headcanon is that Teru dyed his hair pink when Hide died, and just kept it that way after it stopped being a conscious tribute. I kind of think he just felt sad, and wasn’t really sure why or what he could do about it, but wanted to do something, so he dyed his hair. Before that I think it was just blond like Yasu’s.

Anyway, I also wanted to set up the really kind of overwhelming death rate in visual kei… Hide is the most famous example, but there are really just an astonishing number of suicides, car accidents, sudden aneurisms, and other accidental deaths in this particular scene, and that’s going to come up again later.

And poor Teru is empathetic to a fault, so even though he doesn’t know exactly what happened to Rei, he agrees to perform “Yami no hanabira” at their next concert and record the single, even though (as he acknowledges in the very last line) that isn’t really something he can or should promise without talking to the rest of the band.

I definitely don’t think Rei intended to use that to manipulate him or anything. He didn’t intend to reveal that much to Teru at this point in time, and as much as he isn’t above manipulating people, I also think he’s just way too proud to ever INTENTIONALLY make someone feel sorry for him. I think he does have a plan in terms of which songs he wants the band to play, what he wants to put out as a single or save for an album or whatever, but as far as the relationship, he’s still very much in denial that he HAS anything more than professional feelings for Teru, and is 100% playing everything by ear.

So. This was a pretty important chapter, sort of setting up an important part of the main plot and also starting to hint at Rei’s backstory. The last couple of pages were one of the hardest scenes to write, just in terms of setting the right emotional tone. I hope I didn’t mess it up too badly? :P

#the stars may rise and fall #annotated #writing process #retelling

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francis-writes · 2 years ago

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Dating Max Shaw HCs

You met on a rehab. There was no problem with starting conversation because Max was very outgoing and talkative person. Despite difficult life situation he always kept positive attitude to life and that was probably the thing that attracted you to him. He was always able to make you giggle with his comments and cheesy jokes. Max made you smile for the first time in a long time and you always felt safe and relaxed in his presence.

When you left the rehab, Max came back to his addiction. You weren't happy about it and you tried to convince him to continue the fight but it was a hard work.

You were travelling across the country, living from casual work. You rarely spent more than two weeks in one town. You hardly made ends meet but you were happy nonetheless.

Max was a very caring partner, he always noticed when you were sad or tired. He tried to help you with your tasks even when he was weary too.

When you had a free evening and wasn't too sleepy, Max often took you to a local bar for dancing (sometimes he just put on music in your room, grabbed your hand and pulled you to dance in the middle of the room) or - if you had some money to spare - you went to the cinema on some stupid comedy.

Talking about dancing, his moves were something between 80s and Wednesday on a school ball. Anyway, he's a master of dancefloor.

By the way, he was a small spoon. When you cuddled, he always rested his head on your chest, letting you wrap your arms around him and rake your fingers through his hair.

He grew a mustache because of some bet with his friend and initially Max wanted to shave it but you protested, saying that you like his moustache. And that it's hot.

When he heard about children kidnappings, he decided to move in with his brother for some time because he lived in the same town where the crimes took place. Max didn't expect any gratitude or honors if he managed to solve the crimes. He just wanted to do what he felt that was right, and to help the kids. And that's what you loved in him so much.

His brother was superficially nice but you felt a bit uneasy when he was around. You told yourself that he was just irritated that Max with his partner visited him unexpected and were going to use his hospitality for God know how long. At the other hand, he was his brother but you knew that sometimes family isn't happy to see each other. Especially when your guests eat your food and take cocaine from your table.

You decided to ignore it and decided to enjoy the fact that finally you don't have to worry about house or food and you can take some rest.

Especially that since you had more time for yourselves, your relationship was in full bloom. Sure, he was focused on solving the crimes, but Max still was finding time to go with you on a walk, watch tv or cook something together, make a bonfire in the backyard (that was memorable evening; you were eating marshmallows, singing shanties and cuddling. Max tried to play on harmonica but it was hurting your ears so you had to threat that you will throw intrument into fire if he doesn't end his musician's career). Your sex life became better too but it's a topic for another set of headcanons.

Two scenarios how it went:

You were out on some shopping when Max connected the dots and went to the basement. When you came back just to see police and a group of agitated people, you couldn't tell what broke you more : Max' cruel death or the fact that you were living in one house with a child murderer.

Scenario number two: Albert took a liking to you and began to be jealous about his brother so one day when Max wasn't home or he was asleep, the Grabber locked you in his basement... and I won't tell more because I am going to write a fic about this soon.

hey, if you enjoy my work, maybe you would like to support me on ko-fi? Only if you can afford this. It would mean a lot to me<3 link is in the pinned post

#Max shaw #Max shaw x reader

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scotianostra · 3 years ago

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Belated Happy Birthday Scottish singer songwriter Ted Christopher.

Ted has performed all across the world in a variety of forms: as a solo artist, as The Ted Christopher Band, and as the frontman for renowned Scottish dance outfit Bannockburn.

I’ve seen Ted Play many times over the past ten years or so, he is a firm favourite with the Tartan Army and can pen songs with humour, like Where’s the River Mel, in response to the film Braveheart, where Mel Gibson and the producers of the film forgot to add a river (and bridge) in the key fight scene, The Battle of Stirling Bridge, to Follow the Wild Geese Home, a song about expatriates and the Scottish diaspora around the world,;

From the wilderness of Torridon to Australia 's New South Wales

From The Black Isle to Nova Scotia

From Fife to Dubai , New York from a croft on Skye

A new beginning whether forced or chasing dreams

In San Francisco Bay do you dream of the Tay

Do you long to walk down Princes Street once more

At night on your rig are your thoughts of Stirling Brig

Follow the wild geese home.

Teds greatest feat, in my opinion was getting permission from Bob Dylan to rewrite Knockin' on Heaven's Door in memory of the schoolchildren and teacher murdered at Dunblane on 13th March 1996. This has been, according to some sources, the only time Dylan has officially authorized anybody to add or change the lyrics to one of his songs, all of the proceeds from the song went to charity, selling over 673, 000 copies.

Ted conceived the idea of a protest song against Britain's liberal gun laws. With full backing of the Dunblane parents, he recorded a cd with children from the town and a band of local musicians.

Ted commented;

“Sometimes people find the song morbid but that is usually because they don't fully understand it. Yes, it is a very sad song about a tragic event but it was a very positive reaction to a circumstance no one should find themselves in. It raised over half a million pounds for childrens' charities, it focussed public attention on a preventable disaster that could have happened anywhere, but, most important of all we had a load of fun recording and promoting it and it enabled a lot of kids and families in Dunblane to smile again for the first time in many months”

You can find more about Ted and the song on his web page http://www.bannockburnband.co.uk/index.html

Ted is in Ireland today ahead of tomorrow’s UEFA Nations League Group, he’s on stage at 7.30 in The Button Factory, Temple Bar ,Dublin.

NOCKIN’ ON HEAVEN’S DOOR - 21/12/1996 By Ted Christopher Lord, take this badge off of me I can't use it anymore It's gettin' too dark, too dark to see Felt like knockin' on heaven's door Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door I feel like knockin' on heaven's door Lord these guns have caused too much pain This town will never be the same So for the bairns of Dunblane We ask please never again The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want He makes me down to lie In pastures green He leadeth me The quiet waters by Lord put all these guns in the ground We just can't shoot them anymore It's time that we spread some love around Before we're knockin' on heavens door Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door knock, knockin' on heaven's door Lord put all these guns in the ground We just can't shoot them anymore It's time that we spread some love around Before we're knockin' on heavens door Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door I feel I'm knockin' on heaven's door Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door I've been there too many times before

#Scotland #scottish #singersongwriter #folk singer #guitarist #musician

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erin-bo-berin · 5 years ago

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A Game of Chess

MASTERLIST

This was an anon request to write a fic that involved Spencer’s childhood friend Ethan that appeared in season 2′s episode Jones. To the anon who requested this, I’m so sorry it took so long to write, but I seemed to have trouble getting this fic perfect. But finally, I tweaked it and molded it into a story I’m proud of and really like how it turned out. Shoutout to the wonderful @multifandommandy for helping me with the inspiration for the unsub in this fic. With her suggestion of using the real Axeman of New Orleans from the 1900′s, the unsub in this fic was born. I hope you guys enjoy this fic. Enjoy some sassy, jealous Spencer. Happy reading!

Spencer Reid/Reader

Rating: M (smut)

Word Count: 6,907

New Orleans.

Home of jazz, amazing food and beautiful sights.

Unfortunately, it was also the home of a current and active serial killer.

You and the rest of the Behavioral Analysis team had been called in for a serial killer running rampant in New Orleans, which meant that left little time to actually enjoy the sights.

“Remind me before we leave to take you to this jazz club I think you’d like,” your friend and coworker, Spencer nudged you with a smile.

“If we have a moment to breathe,” you groaned, taking a peek at the murder board that had already been set up by the local detectives.

“Don’t worry. I’ll make time for my favorite agent.”

He gave you a slight smile and a sly wink as he headed in the opposite direction of you to get started on some geographical profiles.

You felt a flush creep up from your neck all the way to your cheeks. It was no lie that you fancied the intelligent Dr. Reid and some days, you thought he actually reciprocated your feelings.

It felt like the two of you had been circling one another constantly for months, either pretending the feelings didn’t exist or shamelessly flirting with one another. At this point, you weren’t sure anything would ever happen between you two.

That still didn’t stop how flustered he could make you. Such as how he had just done.

It was something special to have his undivided attention. That was a recurring thing for you though. You always seemed to receive a more special kind of attention from him than the rest of your friends—aka the rest of the BAU team.

You were heading towards the table in front of the murder board to set down your things when JJ quite literally appeared out of nowhere by your side.

“Don’t think I didn’t notice that wink,” she smirked knowingly, settling down in a seat at the head of the table.

“Don’t start,” you retorted, cutting your eyes towards her in a warning glance.

“I’m just saying,” she smirked, opening the file and flipping through it before she spoke her next words.

“It’s just a matter of time before the other shoe drops.”

Whatever that meant.

•

You hooligans think you can catch me, but you can’t. You won’t. I’m much more cunning than you think.

You’ve found victims one, two and three. What about four, five and six? Seven? Maybe they exist, maybe they will exist soon. That’s for me to know and you to find out. If I wanted to, I could slay thousands of your best citizens, for I am in close relationship with the Angel of Death.

“Well, that’s not chilling at all,” you muttered.

A letter had been sent to the NOLA police department, apparently from the killer himself. He was taunting them and your team, that much you knew.

“Definitely a narcissist,” Rossi said, relaying your thoughts, “He thinks he’s untouchable.”

“Not to mention he actually took a line from the infamous Axeman of New Orleans case,” Spencer pointed out.

Everyone blinked at him, clueless.

“The Axeman was a serial killer from May 1918 to October 1919 here in New Orleans. He was never caught, but he typically murdered couples with an axe; axes that belonged to the victims. It’s similar to our current unsub although he’s killing women with an axe. That’s actually kind of similar to the Axeman because he did actually slay a few single victims, some being female and-”

Spencer paused, noticing the entire team staring at him, once again.

“I’m rambling, aren’t I?”

“Just a bit,” you nodded, holding back a grin.

Once the boy got started on something, it was hard to get him to stop. Or not talk 100 mph.

“Is this guy a genius or something? I didn’t even know about that serial killer,” the local detective, named Valadez, whispered to you as Spencer started back up and more to the point.

“You get used to it, trust me,” you grinned.

“The Axeman actually sent a few letters of his own,” Spencer said, looking at the copy of the letter, examining it, “He quite literally copied one sentence word for word.”

“Which one would that be?” Tara asked.

“I could slay a thousand of your best citizens, for I am in close relationship with the Angel of Death,” Spencer read.

“That’s the copied line?” Emily asked.

“Yeah,” Spencer answered distractedly, still studying the writing, “From the Axeman’s letter on March 13th, 1919.”

“So is this just a copycat?” Matt asked.

“I don’t think so,” Spencer answered, “Although the similarities shouldn’t be ignored. He kills women with axes and then sends a letter that has a line that’s verbatim for what the Axeman said.”

“So maybe he’s getting his inspiration from this Axeman guy?” JJ questioned.

“It’s possible,” Spencer nodded.

Spencer was totally in the zone, looking at the writing, tongue poked out of the side of his mouth.

“At most, he has an ego that needs to be stroked,” you said, “There will definitely be more victims.”

“Victim three, Raquel Clayton was discovered outside a jazz club,” Detective Valadez said, studying the murder board.

Spencer’s head jerked up.

“Did you say jazz club?”

“Yeah, does that mean something to you?” Luke asked, curious.

“The Axeman also mentioned in said letter he would spare anyone that was listening to jazz music on a specific night. That night the entire town had dance halls filled with people listening to jazz music. Either his motive is somehow related to this or this guy is just fascinated by the Axeman case. What jazz club was it?”

You were glancing over the detective’s shoulder, reading the file. The name struck you as one you’d just heard earlier in the day. With a smirk, you looked at Spencer.

“Up for a trip to your favorite jazz club?”

•

“It doesn’t surprise me that I managed to actually bring you here, but under the fact of work circumstances,” Spencer grumbled.

“Hey, we’re here aren’t we? We can enjoy a little music while we ask around and see if anyone has seen anything.”

The club was darkly lit, but was filled with soothing sounds of jazz music. You could see why Spencer liked it here.

“The music is pretty.”

“It is, isn’t it?” he agreed.

You stood for a few moments more taking in the pleasant sights and sounds around you before sighing.

“Guess we better get to work, huh?”

Spencer nodded.

“You start with the bartender and workers around there, I’ll start at the back. I’ll meet up with you later,” Spencer said.

You nodded and headed off to start your first rounds of questioning.

An hour later you met a disheartened Spencer. He’d had no more luck than you had. No one had seen anyone suspicious, no one had seen anything, there wasn’t even the first hint of who a suspect was.

This guy seemed to be as invisible as the real Axeman.

“Maybe Jazz was just a coincidence?” Spencer asked.

“You know as well as I do, that there’s no such thing as coincidences in our line of work,” you commented.

He was about to say something when a voice interrupted him.

“Reid, is that you?!”

You and Spencer turned to see a tall man, roughly the same age as Spencer with dark hair and dark eyes. His long beard would’ve been unruly on anyone else, but on this man it seemed to fit him perfectly.

“Ethan?” Spencer’s face lit up, as he hugged the guy.

“It’s been quite a long time since I’ve seen you. What’s it been? 13 years?”

“About,” Spencer nodded, “I didn’t know you were still here in New Orleans.”

“I just got back after some traveling. You can take the boy out of New Orleans but you can’t take New Orleans out of the boy.”

You watched the exchange back and forth, smiling politely.

“Are you gonna introduce me, Spencer?” you asked.

“Well, does Reid here have a girlfriend? Cause if so, he sure does have mighty fine taste,” the man said.

“No, he’s not my boyfriend,” you chuckled, “I’m his partner.”

You held out your hand.

“Supervisory Special Agent Y/N Y/L/N. But you can just call me Y/N.”

He smiled, shaking your hand.

“Reid, you didn’t tell me the FBI had such beautiful girls like Y/N here. If I’d known that, I wouldn’t have dropped out of the FBI so long ago.”

You smiled bashfully as you dropped your hand from his.

“Y/N this is an old friend from Las Vegas, Ethan. We grew up together.”

With a sidelong glance at Spencer you could see him jaw clenching and unclenching. Something he did when he was annoyed. That intrigued you. What was annoying him?

“So you were in the FBI?” you asked, curious.

“Nah. After the first day of training, I dropped out. Left it to this guy here,” Ethan nodded to Spencer, “I knew Reid would be the better agent anyway.”

“What made you drop out?”

You winced, realizing your tactlessness.

“Sorry if that was too personal of a question,” you apologized.

“No need to apologize,” he held his hands up, “With a pretty agent like you, I’d spill all my secrets.”

A slight blush grazed your cheeks and you smiled brightly up at him. It was nice to hear such compliments. It was something you weren’t used to.

“I figured out I wasn’t up for being in the FBI. Much more of a musician, I guess you’d say.”

“Oh, you play?”

“Sax, piano, a little guitar.”

“Impressive,” you grinned.

“So, Reid. You doing better now? No more addiction?”

“Addiction?”

You furrowed your brows, looking at Spencer quizzically.

“It’s nothing,” Spencer mumbled.

“Last time I saw him he was pretty messed up,” Ethan said, demonstrating a shaking hand, “What was it you were on again?”

“Dilaudid,” Spencer answered, lips pressed in a thin line.

“What?”

You had joined the team only eight years ago, in your early twenties, just shy of Spencer’s thirtieth birthday. He’d already been with the BAU for eight years himself by that time. There were a lot of things you didn’t know about his past and apparently, this was one of them.

“Y/N is a newer member to the team,” Spencer said, suddenly seeming more relaxed, “She only joined a couple of years ago.”

“How long has it been since you’ve been in the BAU again man?” Ethan asked, taking a sip of his drink.

“Fifteen years.”

“Damn. That’s impressive. I could never. Guess that’s why I ended up here,” he motioned with his glass, indicating this certain jazz club.

Spencer’s phone rang, but he ignored it.

“Speaking of,” Ethan turned to you, “How would you like to hear some great music sometime? I could get you front row seats. Maybe even play a request or two just for you.”

He winked at you, increasing your flush. It’d been a long while since you’d had a guy hit on you, hence your constant flushing. You were flattered and you were seriously thinking about taking up his offer.

Spencer’s cell started in again. Once again, it went ignored.

“If I get a chance, I’d love to come hear you play.”

He was about to say something when the cell rang again. For a second you actually thought it was Spencer’s phone again, until you felt the vibration against your thigh from your own phone.

“One second, excuse me,” you apologized, taking your phone out of your pocket.

You had a missed call, followed by a new text.

New body found. Meet us at crime scene ASAP.

It was from Emily.

“I’m awfully sorry to break up this reunion, boys,” you said, “But we gotta go. The job calls.”

“No problem. See you around dude,” Ethan said, patting Spencer on the back.

“Anytime you want to take up my offer, just drop by. I’ll hook you up.”

This was said to you.

He raised his tumbler in your direction with a flirty grin as he backed away.

When you turned to follow Spencer out, you realized he’d already left.

•

You and Spencer arrived at the crime scene ten minutes later.

“What took you guys so long?” Emily asked.

“Sorry, my phone was off and Y/L/N didn’t tell me you needed us.”

You shot Spencer a look.

What the hell was he talking about? You certainly had. Especially after he’d ignored his own ringing phone twice.

“It’s fine, you’re here now,” Emily said.

“Another body was dumped. Female, approximately 25-30, seems to be wounded from an ax,” Detective Valadez said.

“Man, he really did a number on this poor woman,” you mumbled, shaking your head, “She must’ve really pissed him off.”

The victim was so wounded and bloodied, it was difficult to identify much else about her.

“I know what that’s like,” Spencer mumbled.

You glanced at him again, your questioning glance being plainly ignored.

What was up with him?

“Split up. Witnesses said they had just seen her get off of the bus down the street. We need to know how she ended up here,” Emily said, “Y/N, Spence. I want you to start at the bus stop and see if you can retrace her steps.”

So that’s how you and Spencer ended up at the bus stop, him mumbling to himself and you exasperated at his silent treatment.

“How are we going to figure anything out when you won’t even talk to me?”

He continued to ignore you, walking up and down the sidewalk, thinking.

“If you’re mad can you just please tell me why?”

“I don’t know. You might be too busy flirting with some passerby,” he grumbled.

You were even more confused.

“What are you talking about?”

Back to ignoring you again.

“I think we’ve figured out about as much as we can from here, let’s go,” Spencer said, taking off.

He left you behind feeling even more confused than to begin with.

•

The only bright spot of the next few days was that there was a break in the case.

Thanks to Spencer’s excellent geographical profiling skills, he’d managed to narrow down the unsub’s hunting ground.

The icing on the cake?

In the dead middle of his hunting ground was a jazz club. The same jazz club you’d been to with Spencer the day before, the one where Ethan frequently played at.

Two more victims had been murdered, something that made your heart twist painfully in your chest. You’d been too late to help them, but now, you could get justice for the poor women who had met their untimely end.

To attempt to catch him, the team came up with the idea of sending an undercover in and staking out the place in an attempt to lure him out.

You were going to be the one that would be sent in. In fact, you yourself volunteered to. You wanted to arrest this guy and throw him in handcuffs. It’s what the bastard deserved after his heinous crimes.

Even though Spencer had hardly talked to you for the last few days, he still flat out refused. He kept trying to talk you out of it and convince Emily to send someone else in. But you’d already made up your mind.

“You’re not going in there, Y/N,” he protested.

“Yes. I am.”

Your voice had a steely edge. He wasn’t going to change your mind.

“Do you know how dangerous it is?!” he’d thrown back at you.

“Gee, no. I never thought about it,” your sarcastic tone was harsher than you intended, but it felt good.

If he was going to be mad at you for whatever reason, then so be it. But you had every right to be just as angry at him for giving you the cold shoulder.

“This is serious, Y/N.”

“You know what, Spencer? You have some nerve acting like you care about me all of a sudden. You have no right to order me around like you’re my father. Especially since you’ve been passive aggressive with me all damn week.”

With that, the plan was set.

And you went in.

•

“Remember, Y/N,” came Emily’s voice in your invisible earpiece, “If you encounter our unsub, we have to catch him in the act. It’s very likely he will attack you and try to hurt you, you know that right?”

You trailed a finger around the lip of your tumbler, looking around the mostly empty bar before answering.

“I’m aware. I’ll be alright.”

“Okay. Just act like a normal young woman out having a night out. We know he’s picked up all his victims here.”

“Got it.”

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t Agent Y/LN,” you heard.

You turned around, seeing Ethan stroll up to you, a sly grin on his face.

“Well hello there,” you grinned, leaning against the bar, “And please, call me Y/N.”

“Y/N,” he said trying out the name, “Might I say you look outstanding tonight.”

You smiled down at the deep teal ruched dress you had donned for the evening. It was a simple dress with thin spaghetti straps and a deep plunging neckline, showing off more of your breasts than you ever had at work. It fit on your body perfectly, hugging your curves and highlighting them. A pair of strappy, gold, stilettos were the only accessory you’d paired with it.

“Thank you. I’ve been anxious to hear you play.”

“Where’s Reid? Did he not come with you?” Ethan asked.

“Oh, he’s around,” you replied coyly.

Just outside, down the street sat Luke, Rossi, Emily and Spencer in an undercover van, watching the entire thing on their monitors.

The styrofoam cup in Spencer’s hand crumpled from his grip on it as he watched the scene unfold before him. Thankfully, he’d already finished his coffee earlier.

Rossi glanced at the cup then to Luke, with a raised brow.

“You okay there Reid?” Luke asked, knowingly.

“I’m fine,” he gritted out.

“Right,” Rossi drawled, clearly not convinced.

“Isn’t that your childhood friend?” Emily asked.

Yup,” Spencer said and nothing else.

“I saved you a seat at the front, just like I said I would,” Ethan said.

Spencer’s blood boiled when he saw Y/N’s hand on Ethan’s arm. She was doing that thing she did when she flirted: that cute half smile and a peek up through her lashes.

He’d seen it before many times. It was just one of the many things he’d noticed about her before.

“I’ll personally escort you.”

Ethan wrapped an arm around her waist, leading her towards the stage. They were briefly off camera for a moment and Spencer couldn’t help but feel the jealousy tugging at him. He wouldn’t even be in this position if—well it wasn’t important right now.

They appeared back on camera, near the stage. He sat her at one of the tables at the front.

“I’ll try hard not to mess up. It’s a bit nerve wracking when you have such a beautiful girl in the audience to cheer you on.”

Spencer fought the urge to roll his eyes.

Y/N actually giggled in response.

“Reid, you’re seconds away from snapping that pencil in half,” Rossi said.

He peered down, not even realizing he’d picked up a pencil to worry in his hands.

“Anything you’d like to share?” asked Rossi.

Spencer looked at the three expectant faces staring back at him and grimaced.

“Not particularly,” he grumbled.

“Reid’s just mad that his friend is making moves on his girl,” Luke stated, nonchalantly.

“She’s not my girl,” Spencer replied.

“Dude, come on. We all know that you like her and just refuse to make a move.”

Spencer glanced at Rossi and Emily who seemed in agreement to Luke’s statement. A glance at the monitors showed that nothing exciting was happening anyway, so there was no way to avoid this conversation with his teammates.

“It’s like a game of chess,” Rossi said, steepling his fingers together.

“What is?” Spencer asked.

“You and Y/N,” he replied, “But it’s like you’re both stuck in a stalemate waiting for the other to make a move.”

He had no reply to that. What was there to say? Rossi was right and it was all his own damn fault.

“Take this as a lesson, kid,” Rossi advised.

“A lesson how?”

“Let this be your motivation.”

Ethan had left you since he was up next.

You sat at the table, sipping on your drink when you heard an unfamiliar voice to your right.

“Looks like you’re awfully lonely tonight.”

You turned to see an average looking man dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt. He seemed out of place in such a casual outfit. That didn’t qualify him as the unsub though.

“Maybe I like to be alone?”

That stopped the guy in his tracks. He quite literally backpedaled and left you alone again. You heard a muffled snort in your earpiece.

“You sure know how to tell ‘em,” Luke scoffed.

“Yeah, well, if our unsub is picking up women with lines that bad, we’re in even more trouble than we realized,” you muttered.

You knew from the profile that this unsub was full of himself and egocentric. He would have to be smooth enough to actually lure a woman back with him.

“We’ll keep watching,” Emily said.

You sat alone in peace as Ethan played. He was rather good and you had to say you were impressed.

Your drink eventually disappeared and when you caught Ethan’s eye, you held up your glass just slightly, nodding towards the bar so he knew you were getting a refill. You stood, heading towards the bar, deciding you’d just go for a simple water. You were on the job, after all.

“I’ll take a water, please,” you told the bartender.

He was young, maybe early 30’s with dark hair. He seemed put together, even for a bartender. His outfit was neat and mess free and not a hair was out of place.

“For a beauty like you, you should have a drink, it’s on the house. It’s my specialty.”

He leaned forward to you, giving you a sly wink, as he reached for a glass without even hearing your answer.

“No, that’s okay, really.”

“Oh come on. One drink won’t hurt. I make the best drinks in the city,” he said.

Something in your mind was trying to piece together, but you couldn’t get it to completely form. Shaking it off, you reluctantly relented.

“Okay, I’ll take one then.”

He mixed the drink, poured it in the glass and slid it towards you.

“Now tell me that isn’t the best drink you’ve ever had.”

You took a sip. It was too strong for your taste but you smiled anyway.

“It’s very good,” you lied.

“So, have you heard about these weird ax murders happening around here?” he questioned, wiping the bar.

“Mhm,” you hummed, “Scary stuff.”

“It’s amazing these deadbeat feds can’t seem to catch him,” he shook his head, as if it were a real tragedy.

Neurons in your mind were sparking and there was something about him that was setting you on edge.

“What did you say your name was, again?” you smiled, flirtatiously.

“I didn’t.”

His grin was icy.

Red flags were going up. If he wasn’t your unsub, then this guy surely wasn’t someone to mess with.

“Oh my bad,” you giggled, playing the part of a flirty, young woman, just there for some fun.

“Anyway, all I gotta say is, is that this guy is really proving a point.”

“How so?” you asked.

“You just gotta give the ax to some people,” he replied, slamming his palm down on the bar top, making you jump, “You know what I mean?”

You nodded, seeming interested, but goosebumps were forming on your skin. It was too much to be a coincidence that this guy wasn’t the unsub and he sure had the ego to match the profile.

“Oh excuse me,” you said, reaching for your phone in your purse, pretending like you were getting a phone call, “It’s my boss. She can’t leave me alone even on a night out.”

You smiled apologetically and put the phone to your ear.

“Hello? Yeah, just a minute, I can’t hear you.”

You covered your other ear as if you were trying to hear as you headed towards one of the side doors.

Once you were out of the building, you pulled your phone away, hitting the speed dial for Emily.

“Prentiss.”

“Emily, it’s me. Did you hear any of-”

Before you could finish your question, you felt a hand over your mouth and you were jerked backwards. You kicked and screamed in tandem as your phone hit the pavement and you were dragged back into the darkened alley.

“Y/N? Y/N?!” Spencer yelled, panicked eyes looking at the others.

“Everyone move. Now. We believe the suspect has a federal agent,” Emily barked into her walkie talkie.

“Cover the parameter. We have no idea which direction he could’ve taken her,” Luke added over the radio.

Spencer was out of the door before anyone could stop him.

“REID! REID!”

He heard Rossi yell out after him, but he didn’t stop running.

If that son of a bitch dared to hurt a hair on Y/N’s head, he was going to leave here tonight in a body bag instead of handcuffs.

Spencer would make damn sure he’d see to it.

•

Your back hit the brick wall, the nearby streetlight hitting something metal just right that it gleamed for a split second.

Your heart stopped when you saw the blade of a hatchet in the bartender’s hands.

“I knew the feds had been around here snooping for me,” he sneered.

“How?”

You tried to act cool. This was part of your job, to be in dangerous situations. But truth be told, you were terrified.

“Your little boyfriend Ethan mentioned seeing you and your partner here the other day asking around about me. Little did he know he was really doing me a favor by letting me in on that little piece of gossip.”

Ethan. He had just gotten back from a tour of the world. He was innocent in all this, yet somehow he still ended up mixed up in it.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” you scowled, wriggling against his grasp.

He held you tight with one arm across your neck and shoulders, his arm almost to the point of choking you. You had to stall, had to do something. Where was Emily and the team?

“Where were you that day anyway? I never saw you here.”

“That’s because it was my day off. Lucky break huh?” he snorted, “Besides, I was in search of victim number five.”

Lillie Newton. She was victim number five. She had a name, she wasn’t just a number.

Anger boiled within you. Pure hatred for someone as evil as this man that stood before you.

“Why? Why do it? Were you just trying to be another copycat?”

“You know, one of the things said about the Axeman of New Orleans was that his crimes were mostly ethnically motivated. He killed mainly Italian-Americans or Italian immigrants. For some reason, he must’ve hated them. I found it...inspiring. Of course, I have nothing against the Italians. Unless they’re women, that is.”

“Oh so that’s it? You hate women? Talk about typical psychopath 101,” you spat.

A sharp sting came across your cheek as he slapped you, hard. Hard enough to bring tears to your eyes.

“Listen here, bitch. I’d watch my mouth if I were you, because this baby?” he lifted up his machete for you to see, “This can do a lot of damage. I can’t wait to strike it into you and chop you up so your FBI friends won’t even be able to recognize you.”

You swallowed hard. Your brain was scrambling for a way to escape. You were just about ready to kick him in the groin when he was suddenly yanked away from you, his hard grip leaving your body.

You blinked quickly, not understanding what had just happened until you saw Spencer a few feet away, punching the guy. It wasn’t just one punch either. Two, then three came. You bounded into action then.

“Spencer! Spencer, stop!”

You tried pulling him away as the rest of your team came running into the alleyway. He managed to get one more hit in before you successfully pulled him away and Luke had pulled the unsub up, slapping cuffs on him faster than you realized he even could.

Spencer grabbed you and pulled you close, holding you tight. His head went into the crook of your neck as he clung to you, all of his apparent fear and worry being transmitted from him to you through the hug. No matter what tiff you both may have been in the middle of, he still cared about you.

“I was so scared something happened to you,” he mumbled.

He pulled back, looking over you, assessing you to see if you had any injuries.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I promise.”

His finger brushed your cheek lightly and you winced.

“Did he hit you?!”

“Slapped me, but I’m okay. It’s just a little sore,” you told him.

“You might have a nasty bruise there in a few days.”

“Least it’s just a bruise, huh?” you smiled a tiny bit.

“Yeah.”

He was gazing directly at you as if no one else were around, as if there wasn’t a bustle of activity around you. In that moment, it was just the two of you.

“Spence.”

You both turned to see Emily, motioning for him, needing his help.

Spencer let go of your arms, stepping back a bit.

“I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

With a nod, you watched him head in Emily’s direction. It had been a long day. A long week actually. But the murderer had been caught and there would be justice for the poor families who had lost their daughters.

That wasn’t all though.

Something had seemed to shift between you and Spencer. Sort of like a chess piece in it’s hesitant movement to another square.

•

By the time you’d handed over the unsub to the local precinct so he could be their problem, it was well past midnight.

Everyone had been way too exhausted to even think of boarding the jet tonight, so it was mutually decided that they’d spend one more night in New Orleans and head home tomorrow. Everyone had gone their separate ways once back at the hotel.

You headed to your room, managing to score an ice pack for your sore cheek. Unfortunately, after all the excitement, there was no time to talk to Spencer and he’d left the precinct before you had anyway. You made a mental note to check in on him tomorrow and maybe even see if things were okay between you two.

You’d changed out of the dress and into more comfortable clothes—sweatpants and a t-shirt. You were sitting at the small table in your room, icing your cheek and pretty much about to fall asleep when there was a knock at your door. Sitting the ice pack down, you walked to the door, opening it. You were surprised to see Spencer standing on the other side.

Before you had the chance to say anything, he grabbed your face and kissed you.

After your brief initial shock, your lips moved with his so fluidly it seemed natural, like you did this every day.

Minutes may have passed, or it might just have been seconds as you kissed him back, your hands naturally finding a spot to rest against his chest.

You were so stunned when he pulled away, that it took a moment for you to realize he had said something.

“Huh?” you asked, still dazed.

“I asked if I could come in,” he repeated.

“Oh, yeah, of course.”

You stepped aside and let him in, closing the door behind him. Your head was still reeling from the kiss as you turned around and saw him sit down on your bed, his hands running through his hair.

“Come here,” he whispered.

You walked over to him, standing in front of where he sat.

“I’m so sorry,” he began.

Your confusion deepened. Was he sorry about the kiss? About you getting hurt? About being mad?

He said nothing else as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close to him and holding you tight.

“When I saw the unsub had you…” he mumbled into your neck, trailing off as his voice cracked.

You pulled out of his embrace to look at him. You now stood in between his legs, even closer than you had been before, your body mere inches from his.

“I was so afraid I might never see you again. Suddenly, me being angry at you was the least important thing in the world.”

“Why were you mad? If I did something I’m so sorry, I-”

“Shh, no,” he mumbled, his finger covering your lips gently to silence you, “It was my own fault, I’m so sorry.”

You waited silently, seeing if he was going to elaborate. His eyes closed, his expression looking pained and even a bit embarrassed.

“I was jealous.”

“Jealous?” you questioned, your brows furrowed, not understanding.

“Of Ethan flirting with you,” he sighed, “And you flirting back.”

“I,” you paused, your mind racing, not being able to piece everything together quick enough, “I was just being nice to him, then just playing the part earlier. Why would you be jealous?”

He gave a half laugh, almost a humorless one.

“Because I’m crazy about you, Y/N,” he whispered, his gaze finally meeting yours.

His hand cupped the side of your face, his other hand resting lightly on your waist. You didn’t move from his touch nor did you make a move to push his hands away.

“And seeing you with someone else made me see red. Just the thought of you being someone else’s and not mine because I’d been too scared and stubborn, locked in this chess game, if you will, with you, not making a move. I was afraid I had been too late and I was mad at myself.”

“I’m not interested in Ethan. I only have eyes for you,” your eyes slid to his lips, unable to stop yourself.

You were still thinking of the way his lips had felt against yours. The softness of them, the passion in the kiss, the way his hands had cupped your face and held on firmly like he himself was afraid the moment was just a fluke.

“It’s always been that way.”

Your voice was barely a whisper now as your eyes slid closed and your lips found his again.

This time, the kiss was more heated. Your feelings for one another had finally been laid on the table, igniting a need to act on them.

Your hand tangled in his curls as you kissed him back fervently, suddenly feeling like you couldn’t get enough of him. You had spent years not knowing what kissing him would be like and now it felt like you were simply making up for lost time.

You smiled gently against his lips when he moaned into the kiss. Apparently, he was just as eager for your touch against him, as you were for his against you.

His hands reached for the hem of your top, pulling away to pull it up and over your head. His tongue moved out and over his lips slowly, his eyes taking in your newly exposed skin. Your own hands pulled at his loosened tie, dropping it once it left his body.

Spencer’s mouth met your neck, leaving soft kisses down it as your fingers fumbled with the buttons of his shirt. The simple task seemed so much harder as you were distracted by the feel of his lips on your skin.

In one fell swoop, he’d picked you up and turned, tossing you in quite a gentle manner against the mattress of your hotel bed. His hand ran over your exposed stomach, his kisses moving lower. You chewed on your bottom lip as you watched him, unable to control the growing desire forming between your legs.

You were so caught up in the sensation, it didn’t even register what he had been doing until you felt the slight tug of your waistband being pulled downwards. His fingers gripped the material and pushed it down over your raised hips until it was completely off.

You wasted no time in ridding him of his own pants as well.

Left in only your undergarments, you and Spencer laid practically skin to skin, taking a moment just to enjoy one another. He kissed you again, his slight scruff tickling your face, while his hands roamed your body.

You, also, took your sweet time exploring the new found territory of his bare skin underneath your hands. They ran over his back, his chest, his arms, his sides before finding their way back to his face, your lips moving in a fluid dance with his own.

He reached behind you, unhooking your bra, pulling the straps down until the item had completely left your body. You were almost positive he held back a groan as he took in your naked top half.

“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” he whispered.

Your legs inadvertently clenched at his cursing. It wasn’t often he did it, but something told you that in bed it was a good possibility that he could be a completely different person.

His hands cupped each breast, his lips kissing your throat as he massaged them. His fingertips briefly moved over your peaked nipples, making you moan softly.

Spencer wasted no time though, his touch quickly retreated downwards to the only item left on your body. His fingers hooked into the waistband of your panties and pulled them off, leaving you completely exposed and turned on beneath him.

Maybe it was a mixture of how close you came to death tonight and your feelings for him, but you didn’t want this moment to end. You wanted to hang on to it forever. That’s why you took your time, hands pushing off his underwear, your eyes meeting his.

It was like he could read your thoughts. Being as close as you two had been previous to this, it wasn’t surprising, but knowing you so well in this instance was just on a whole other level of mind blowing. He nodded, wanting to enjoy this for as long as he could too.

His hand covered yours, interlocking your fingers together as he pushed into you. The new feeling of him inside you was overwhelming but really good.

Your hands stayed laced together as he kissed you and moved within you. Your body met his rhythm and soon instead of two, your bodies moved as one.

Breaking the kiss, your head fell back against the pillow as you moaned. You couldn’t wrap your mind around the fact that he felt so incredible. His teeth bared into his bottom lip as he gazed down at you, his desire written plainly on his face.

“Spencer,” you whimpered, pulling your legs up his sides, allowing him a deeper access.

His movements quickened as your pleasure heightened, fulfilling the need for more. You couldn’t help but smile, even as you moaned, at the curl that fell over his brow, moving with each thrust.

“God, Y/N,” Spencer groaned, his forehead falling against yours, eyes closing, “Fuck.”

You briefly registered the other noises in the room besides both of your moans: the bed creaking and the headboard hitting the wall.

“Spence,” you mumbled, whimpering as he hit a sensitive spot, “You're gonna wake up the entire team.”

“Let them hear,” he grunted, “Let them know who you belong to.”

“Whatever you want,” you mumbled, pulling him towards you once again.

Your fingers dug into his back as your high built deep within you. He moaned against your lips, his hands gripping your sides as you both moved frantically, desperate to reach complete ecstasy.

“Fuck, Spencer,” you moaned, your noises suddenly higher in pitch and volume, “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

He kissed you as you came apart, the fire in your veins shooting through you as quick as lightning. Luckily, his kiss muffled most of your loud moan.

He buried his face in your neck as he soon followed, his own moans filling your ears, much to your delight.

Your fingers tangled in the back of his hair as you panted, starting to come down from the high. His body was slick against yours as he finally turned his face to yours, kissing you once again.

The cool air of the hotel room hit your sweaty skin, cooling it gently, but your insides still felt red hot, both in reaction to the sex and the fact that it was Spencer, the fact that he was as crazy about you as you were him.

The fact that both of you no longer played this complicated game you’d inadvertently been involved in for so long.

It was only after he’d stilled, his body still flush against your skin that he smiled one of his heart stopping grins, before finally speaking.

“Checkmate.”

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maandarinee · 4 years ago

Note

what are all the podcasts you listen to?

anon I'm so glad you asked

Since it is a pretty long list including synopses (stolen from the podcast feed or website because I'm Bad at summaries and in some cases it's been a while since I listened) I'm going to put it under a cut.

I've separated the list into "Complete" (either finished or cancelled) and "Ongoing" podcasts. Some have additional comments by me. Current favorites are marked orange. My eternal beloved are Our Fair City and Wolf 359.

Complete

ars PARADOXICA: "When an experiment in a time much like our own goes horribly awry, Dr. Sally Grissom finds herself stranded in the past and entrenched in the activities of a clandestine branch of the US government. Grissom and her team quickly learn that there's no safety net when toying with the fundamental logic of the universe."

Blackwood: "Five years ago, Molly Weaver, Bryan Anderson, and Nathan Howell started a podcast focused on the local legend of a monster called The Blackwood Bugman. Quickly, the investigation grew out of their control, as they discovered that, not only are the legends seemingly true, many people in Blackwood have turned up dead or disappeared without a trace." --> [this feels like the Blair With Project, but as a podcast. Didn't get a second season due to no funding, but it works as a standalone]

Dreamboy: "Dane, a spun-out musician spending the winter in Cleveland, Ohio, has two main goals: keeping his job at the Pepper Heights Zoo and trying not to waste all his time on Grindr. What he doesn’t expect is to get swept into a story about dreams, about forevers, about flickering lights, about unexplained deaths, about relentless change, and about the parts of ourselves that we wish other people knew to look for. Oh, and also a murderous zebra." --> [very NSFW; does cool things with music! Didn't get a second season due to no funding, but it works as a standalone]

King Fall AM: "...centers on a lonely little mountain town's late-night AM talk radio show and its paranormal, peculiar happenings and inhabitants." --> [cancelled after 100 episodes, ends on a huge cliffhanger]

Our Fair City: "A campy, post-apocalyptic audio drama." --> [I know the description sounds like nothing but just trust me, I love it so much]

Steal the Stars: "...is a gripping noir science fiction thriller in 14 episodes: Forbidden love, a crashed UFO, an alien body, and an impossible heist unlike any ever attempted."

Stellar Firma: "...a weekly Science Fiction, Comedy podcast following the misadventures of Stellar Firma Ltd.'s highest born but lowest achieving planetary designer Trexel Geistman and his bewildered clone assistant David 7. Join them each episode as they attempt to take listener submissions and craft them into the galaxy's most luxurious, most expensive and most questionably designed bespoke planets. However, with Trexel's corporate shark of a line manager Hartro Piltz breathing down their necks and I.M.O.G.E.N., the station's omnipresent and omniinvasive stationwide A.I. monitoring those necks to within 3 decimal places, they'll be lucky to make it a week before being slurried and recycled into raw human resources." --> [semi-improvised, I thought I'd have a problem with the improv bit because that's not usually my thing, but no, I absolutely devoured this]

TANIS: "...is a serialized docudrama about a fascinating and surprising mystery: the myth of Tanis. Tanis is an exploration of the nature of truth, conspiracy, and information. Tanis is what happens when the lines of science and fiction start to blur." [+ spinoff The Last Movie] --> [I have no clue what the hell is going on here]

The Black Tapes: "...is a serialized docudrama about one journalist's searc for truth, her enigmatic subject's mysterious past, and the literal and figurative ghosts that haunt them both."

The Magnus Archives: "...is a weekly horror fiction anthology podcast examining what lurks in the archives of the Magnus Institute, an organisation dedicated to researching the esoteric and the weird. Join new head archivist Jonathan Sims as he attempts to bring a seemingly neglected collection of supernatural statements up to date, converting them to audio and supplementing them with follow-up work from his small but dedicated team. Individually, they are unsettling. Together they begin to form a picture that is truly horrifying because as they look into the depths of the archives, something starts to look back…"

Time:Bombs: "...a new audio drama podcast about the hilarious world of bomb disposal. Ride along with EOD technician Simon Teller on the busiest night of the year for him and his team - when business is, quite literally, booming."

Wolf 359: "Life's not easy for Doug Eiffel, the communications officer for the U.S.S. Hephaestus Research Station, currently on Day 448 of its orbit around red dwarf star Wolf 359. He's stuck on a scientific survey mission of indeterminate length, 7.8 light years from Earth. His only company on board the station are stern mission chief Minkowski, insane science officer Hilbert, and Hephaestus Station's sentient, often malfunctioning operating system Hera. He doesn't have much to do for his job other than monitoring static and intercepting the occasional decades-old radio broadcast from Earth, so he spends most of his time creating extensive audio logs about the ordinary, day-to-day happenings within the station. But the Hephaestus is an odd place, and life in extremely isolated, zero gravity conditions has a way of doing funny things to people's minds. Even the simplest of tasks can turn into a gargantuan struggle, and the most ordinary-seeming things have a way of turning into anything but that." --> [starts funny, turns very intense]

Ongoing

Alba Salix, Roya Physician (+ The Axe & Crown): "A witch, her apprentice, and her fairy herbalist treat the ills of a fairy-tale kingdom." + "Gubbin the troll tavernkeeper deals with his clueless new landlord, his shady niece, and some new competition."

Archive 81: "A found footage horror podcast about ritual, stories, and sound."

Arden: "A (fictional) true crime podcast about cold cases and the reporter and detective who try to solve them."

Brimstone Valley Mall: "The year is 1999. Lurking somewhere between Hot Topic and the food court, five misfit demons from Hell kill time inciting sin in a suburban shopping mall. When the lead singer of their band goes mysteriously missing, the demons only have two weeks to find him before they play the biggest gig of the millennium - or face the wrath of Satan herself."

CARAVAN: "First rule of Wound Canyon: No one who gets in, ever gets out. So when a brilliant, ghostly specter flies through the sky amid the rain and lightning, Samir stumbles off a steep cliff and into a hidden world, one in which demons, vampires, and all other manner of paranormal creatures take sanctuary." --> [also pretty NSFW and horny in general]

Death by Dying: "The Obituary Writer of Crestfall, Idaho finds himself deeply in over his head as he investigates a series of strange and mysterious deaths… when he is supposed to simply be writing obituaries. Along the way he encounters murderous farmers, man-eating cats, haunted bicycles, and a healthy dose of ominous shadows." --> [I had to stop listening to this in public because it kept making me undignified laugh and snort noises]

Desperado: "Blood magic, Voodoo magic, old gods, new gods: We've got it all! Follow the story of misfits from all over the world, as they try to survive and protect their heritage from modern-day crusaders."

EOS 10: "Doctors in space, a deposed alien prince, a super gay space pirate and a fiery nurse who'll help you win your bar fight."

Girl In Space: "Abandoned on a dying ship in the farthest reaches of known space, a young scientist fights for survival (and patience with the on-board A.I.). Who is she? No one knows. But a lot of dangerous entities really want to find out. Listen as the story unfolds for science, guns, trust, anti-matter, truth, beauty, inner turmoil, and delicious cheeses. It’s all here. In space."

Janus Descending: "...follows the arrival of two xenoarcheologists on a small world orbiting a binary star. But what starts off as an expedition to survey the planet and the remains of a lost alien civilization, turns into a monstrous game of cat and mouse, as the two scientists are left to face the creatures that killed the planet in the first place. Told from two alternating perspectives, Janus Descending is an experience of crossing timelines, as one character describes the nightmare from end to beginning, and the other, from beginning to the end." --> [absolutely harrowing horror]

Love and Luck: "...is a fictional radio play podcast, told via voicemails and set in present day Melbourne, Australia. A slice of life queer romance story with a touch of magic, it follows the relationship between two men, Jason and Kane, as their love grows both for each other and their community." --> [soft and gay, feels like a warm hug]

Potterless: "Join Mike Schubert, a grown man reading the Harry Potter series for the first time, as he sits down with HP fanatics to poke fun at plot holes, make painfully incorrect predictions, and bask in the sassiness of the characters." --> [the only non-fiction podcast on the list]

Primordial Deep: "When a long extinct sea creature washes up on the shores of Coney Island, marine biologist Dr. Marella Morgan is contacted by a secret organization to investigate the origins of the creature’s sudden and unnatural resurgence. Soon, she and a team of experts find themselves living on the research station The Tiamat, traveling along the abyssal plains as they search for answers far below the waves. But there are dangers in these ancient waters. Reawakened, prehistoric monsters are rising from the deep -- jaws wide and waiting, and in the darkness, something is stirring."

Red Valley: "No one at Overhead Industries wants to talk about defunct research station Red Valley, and account man Warren Godby is out of his depth. When he meets Gordon Porlock, a disgruntled archivist with a bag of tapes from the station’s last known occupant, they will begin a journey to the limits of experimental science, confront horror and trauma from the past, present and future, and try to remember the cheat codes from Sonic the Hedgehog 2."

Rusty Quill Gaming: "An actual play podcast following a mixed ability group of comedians, improvisers, gamers, and writers as they play through the extended, tabletop roleplaying campaign Erasing the Line, an original game world of the GM’s crafting." --> [took me a while to get into because I have trouble focusing on non-scripted things, but eventually I got really hooked on the plot and attached to the characters. This podcast is really fucked up at times if you think about it]

SAYER: "A narrative fiction podcast set on Earth’s man-made second moon, Typhon. The eponymous SAYER is a highly advanced, self-aware AI created to help acclimate new residents to their new lives, and their new employment with Ærolith Dynamics." --> [feels like Welcome to Night Vale but narrated by GLaDOS from Portal]

StarTripper!!: "Join Feston Pyxis on a road-trip through the cosmos, as he leaves behind his old life in search of the best and wildest experiences the galaxy has to offer!"

The Amelia Project: "...is a secret agency that fakes its clients' deaths, then lets them reappear with a brand new identity! A black comedy full of secrets, twists... and cocoa."

The Big Loop: "...a biweekly anthology series. Each episode is a self-contained narrative exploring the strange, the wonderful, the terrifying, and the heartbreaking. Stories of finite beings in an infinite universe." --> [I don't like anthologies, except this one]

The Bright Sessions: "Dr. Bright provides therapy for the strange and unusual; their sessions have been recorded for research purposes." --> [think X-Men, but with therapy instead of a school]

The Deca Tapes: "Recordings have surfaced of ten people that are locked into the same space together. We don’t know where they are, or if they'll get out. But the answers must be somewhere on these tapes."

The Silt Verses: "Carpenter and Faulkner, two worshippers of an outlawed god, travel up the length of their deity’s great black river, searching for holy revelations. As their pilgrimage lengthens and the river’s mysteries deepen, the two acolytes find themselves under threat from a police manhunt, but also come into conflict with the weirder gods that have flourished in these forgotten rural territories."

The White Vault: "Follow the collected records of a repair team sent to Outpost Fristed in the vast white wastes of Svalbard and unravel what lies waiting in the ice below."

Tides: "...is the story of Dr. Winifred Eurus, a xenobiologist trapped on an unfamiliar planet with hostile tidal forces. She must use her wits, sarcasm and intellectual curiosity to survive long enough to be rescued. But there might be more to life on this planet than she expected." --> [think The Martian, but on a water planet]

Unwell, a Midwestern Gothic Mystery: "Lillian Harper moves to the small town of Mt. Absalom, Ohio, to care for her estranged mother Dorothy after an injury. Living in the town's boarding house which has been run by her family for generations, she discovers conspiracies, ghosts, and a new family in the house's strange assortment of residents."

VAST Horizon: "Nolira is an agronomist tasked with establishing agriculture in a new solar system, but when she wakes up on a now- empty colony ship, the whole of her plan disappears. The ship has been set adrift, with numerous mission-critical problems requiring immediate attendance outside of her area of expertise. Nolira is aided by the ship’s malfunctioning AI, which acts as her confidant and companion during the fight for survival."

Victoriocity: "Even Greater London, 1887. In this vast metropolis, Inspector Archibald Fleet and journalist Clara Entwhistle investigate a murder, only to find themselves at the centre of a conspiracy of impossible proportions."

We Fix Space Junk: "...follows seasoned smuggler Kilner and reluctant fugitive Samantha as they travel the galaxy, dodging bullets and meeting strange and wonderful beings as they carry out odd jobs on the fringes of the law."

Welcome to Night Vale: "Twice-monthly community updates for the small desert town of Night Vale, where every conspiracy theory is true. Turn on your radio and hide."

Within the Wires: "Stories told through found audio from an alternate universe."

Wooden Overcoats: "Rudyard Funn and his equally miserable sister Antigone run their family's failing funeral parlour, where they get the body in the coffin in the ground on time. But one day they find everyone enjoying themselves at the funerals of a new competitor - the impossibly perfect Eric Chapman! With their dogsbody Georgie, and a mouse called Madeleine, the Funns are taking drastic steps to stay in the business…" --> [one of THE funniest podcasts I have ever listened to]

#ask #anon #please talk to me about podcasts at all times #podcasts #podcast recommendations

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soldouthaz · 5 years ago

Note

Do you have any recent fic recs? 🥺 I just finished reading Baby Blue and now I don’t know what to read next. (It was amazing by the way).

hii!!! I'm so happy you liked baby blue! thank you so much for reading and for reaching out! :)))

I don’t have any specifics on what you like to read, so I'm just going to give you a bit of everything - I hope that’s alright! if you want more you always know where to find me ;)

recently read fics (July 2020) -

✰ sleeping on our problems (E, 67k, bL) by @risthebrave / falsegoodnight

Louis sleeps with Harry and they have more than just catching feelings to worry about.

✰ tell it like an old song (E, 26k, bL) by @outropeace

where Harry is a bit lost (just like his memories), his best friend is hiding something, the love of his life is gone and love... love is like flowers.

✰ soaked in the blood of angels (E, 40k, bL) by @crazyupsetter / whoknows

The boy looks drugged, caught between a man who’s almost twice his size and a girl who looks like she wouldn’t even break a sweat snapping him in half despite her small stature, eyes closed and mouth open as he pants, arching up between them almost as if he’s trying to escape.

Normally, Harry would ignore it and continue on his search for someone to drink from, someone who wouldn’t mind his sharp teeth and rough hands. He’s seen plenty of boys like this one, ones who picked the wrong playmates, and if he stopped to rescue every single one of them he would have died from thirst a long time ago.

This one, though. There’s something about this one, the sheen of his bright blue eyes as he blinks slowly, looks around as though he doesn’t know where he is, the weakness of his hands as he tries to push the girl off of him and make his escape.

✰ like the earth around the sun (E, 23k, bL) by astrangepurplefairy

the one where Harry bursts in on Louis in heat and things only get more complicated from there.

(*personal note* if anyone happens to know if this author has a Tumblr please let me know!)

✰ we both got nothing to hide (E, 43k, bL) by lovelarry10 / @chloehl10

Omega Louis has a secret nest. Alpha Harry keeps losing his clothes.

✰ move so pretty (you’re all I see) (E, 10k, bL) by @risthebrave / falsegoodnight

Harry’s pretty content with his life. He loves his job- a veterinarian at a local clinic who’s already built up a name for himself despite his young age. He loves his gorgeous flat with its wide, open space and minimalistic, yet still homey feel. He loves his family who he talks to and visits as much as possible, not bothered by the long hours of driving to Holmes Chapel from London he endures multiple times a month. He loves his friends and his coworkers and his neighbors- especially Allison, the little old lady next door who brings him and Louis cookies on holidays and who always comments on how “strong and handsome you are, Mr. Styles,” everytime he sees her.

And most importantly, he loves Louis, just- maybe in a slightly different way.

✰ maybe, baby (M, 16k, omega!L) by @thoughtsickles

Louis runs away. Harry finds him.

✰ when tomorrow comes (E, 11k, bL) by @jacaranda-bloom

the one where Louis is an Omega who has been keeping himself pure for his Alpha, Harry is a traditional Alpha focusing on his studies while he waits to find his bondmate, and Niall is a sneaky bastard who keeps borrowing Louis’ clothes and never returning them.

✰ in a world alone (E, 50k, bL) by @risthebrave / falsegoodnight

Harry’s breath catches as the glow grows bigger and bigger until he’s squinting his eyes and blinking at the sudden intense brightness. He closes his eyes, rubbing at them helplessly. When his eyes open again- he gasps, grip loosening on his bow as he gawks at the sight before him.

Because the swan is gone.

And in its place is the prettiest omega Harry has ever seen.

A Swan Lake AU

re-reads -

✰ like a siren in the night (E, 24k, bL) by @crazyupsetter / whoknows

“There is an infestation in my home,” Louis hisses, righting himself quickly and pushing his way past Harry, heading directly for the kitchen. He’s rather haphazardly dressed himself, a coat thrown on over a loose flannel shirt and black pants, slippers on his feet.

Harry resists the urge to sigh, closing the door and trailing behind him slowly. “What kind of infestation?”

For all he knows, Louis is going to claim that there’s a ghost infestation. Harry has no idea what the end game is here – all he knows is that Louis has found at least three complaints a week to bring up since he’s been living on Harry’s property, and he’s been living here for six months.

It’s way too many fucking complaints, is what Harry is saying. Especially when most of them are ridiculous to start with.

✰ ours are the moments I play in the dark (E, 20k, bL) by @holdingthornsandroses / edensrose

Jane Austen's Persuasion AU. Nine years ago Louis Tomlinson was persuaded to break off his engagement to Harry Styles, a poor sailor. Since then Louis has come to regret being so easily convinced to give up his one chance of happiness. Now Louis' family is in debt and his childhood home is being sold. In a complete reversal of fortune, Harry has returned to England a wealthy bachelor looking to settle down. Events conspire to bring them together once more though Louis is- must surely be- the last man on earth that Captain Styles would think of now.

✰ pretty please (with sugar on top) (E, 113k, bH) by @angelichl

Harry is a sugar baby omega who cons rich alphas for a living. Louis is a rich alpha with too much self-control.

✰ dance like warriors on a battlefield (E, 20k, bL) by @crazyupsetter / whoknows

Down in the arena, the triumphant gladiator places his foot on the back of the loser, holding him there as he waits for instruction on his next move. Kill or let live. It’s barbaric, really, the bloodlust involved in this sport. Louis is pretty sure that if it wasn’t for his distaste for the killing there would be a lot more blood soaking that sand.

As it is, his father rarely gives the kill order anymore. He gives the order to let the loser live. Louis rolls his eyes, turning away. He doesn’t miss the way the gladiator’s eyes linger on him.

fics on my list to read soon -

✰ until (E, 38k, bL) by @allwaswell16

Rural Eagle County, Colorado wasn’t the type of place to find a famous musician or actor. At least not until songwriter Louis Tomlinson showed up with pop star Niall Horan to visit his uncle’s horse ranch, and they just happened to find themselves next door to a reclusive former movie star.

(*personal note*- I'd put off reading this until I finished my own cowboy fic so that I wouldn’t subconsciously copy anything but I’m so so excited about this one!)

✰ smells like omega spirit (NR, 11k, omega!Louis) by @lululawrence

Louis is an omega doing a test run on neutralizers for a class project. Every time he talks to Harry he smells completely different.

Harry is an alpha who can't figure out if he's going crazy or his sense of smell is broken, but all he wants to figure out what Louis' real scent is.

Somehow they figure it out.

✰ ever since I tried your way (E, 25k, bH) by anonymous

In 1949 Harry left his bride at the altar, running away from the only life he'd known. When a kindhearted farmer offers him a ride in his truck and a place to sleep the two find themselves inexplicably drawn together. Isolated on Louis' farm with nobody but a field of dairy cows to intrude, the men are finally able to explore the parts of themselves they've spent their lives hiding away.

✰ was in no hurry, had no worries (E, 21k, bL) by @larrywmi / defencelouis

The year is 1999 and Harry can’t stop dedicating songs to Louis on the radio. Or the one where Harry hits Louis with his car.

✰ the murmur of yearning (E, 93k) by @mediawhorefics

Four years ago, Harry Styles was forced into a marriage of convenience to enrich and ally both his and his promised's families. The sudden, and slightly suspicious, death of the Marquess of Haxshire, however, brings great disturbance to Crescentfield Hall and, as his late's husband's closest male relative, Harry unexpectedly finds himself the head of a family he never felt he belonged to. Between a meddling distant cousin hellbent on inserting himself in Harry’s life, his wicked and mistrustful mother-in-law and his late husband’s advisors refusing to help or take him seriously, Harry struggles in the fight to keep what he’s earned and make the Estate finally feel like home.

Luckily, he doesn’t stand completely alone and finds himself an unlikely ally in Mr Tomlinson, the elusive Land Stewart who has been taking care of the property in the shadows for years. Louis Tomlinson is caring, patient, and unlike everyone else, he doesn’t seem to think Harry committed a murder.

as always, please let me know if I tagged anything incorrectly etc. and I hope this helps you a bit!! I hope you’re well and happy reading! :)

#fic recs

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afilmsforthoughtblog · 4 years ago

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Shocking Villains

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

Most of the time, we like to know who the heroes and the villains are right off the bat. This distinction gives us a sense of comfort in knowing which characters to root for. However, there are certain times when a plot twist comes in and the protagonist was the villain all along! Sometimes, you don’t see it coming. The betrayal punches you right in the gut! Below, you will find some of the surprising villains from my favorite movies. Comment down below which character shocked you the most!

1. Titan from Megamind (2010)

Before Hal becomes Titan, he is a nerdy guy who works as a cameraman for the local news station. He always follows Roxanne around to find the latest information about Metroman. His affections for his coworker are painstakingly obvious, but she is too nice to outright turn him down. Once Metroman leaves the city for good, Megamind takes over Metro City. He needs a new hero to battle. What better person to take Metroman’s place than the guy who knows everything about him and the powers it takes to be a superhero? Hal seems the perfect fit, so Megamind disguises himself as a Space Dad to train Hal. He transforms into Titan, and all seems to be going well. Titan has the potential to be a decent hero, but he is so arrogant. His confidence ultimately becomes his downfall. When Roxanne rejects him, he spazzes out and gets all angry. He flips the script and becomes the villain!

2. Ernesto de la Cruz from Coco (2017)

This turn of events stabbed me right in my heart! All Miguel wants to do is be a musician. So, when he needs to get back to the land of the living, he searches for Ernesto de la Cruz in hopes of getting his blessing to return. He surely would help his great-great grandson? Right? WRONG. Usually, when someone is put upon a pedestal, eventually, they’ll come crashing down. I think the plot twist in this movie is bigger than Hans from Frozen! Ernesto’s not his relative at all! He’s the man who stole everything from Miguel’s great-great grandfather and murdered him in the process. I won’t spoil the ending, but I am happy with Ernesto de la Cruz’s fateful end. Once you re-watch Coco, all the clues smack you in the face. You’ll never look at this character the same way again.

3. Hans from Frozen (2013)

C’mon. You know I had to add Hans in the mix. I know I said Ernesto de la Cruz’s villainy was more shocking than Hans’ reveal, but for the longest while, Hans had the biggest character twist in Disney history! So far in this company, we’ve seen the same trope over and over. Girl meets boy and marries him even though they’ve only known each other for a short amount of time, or true love’s kiss will save the day. When Elsa accidentally freezes Anna’s heart, she seeks out Hans to heal her because she believes they are soulmates. As the camera pans in their faces to seal the deal, Hans quickly stops the kiss and utters one of the sickest burns ever: “Oh, Anna, if only there was someone out there who loved you.” My whole body screamed in agony the first time I watched this scene! The complete look of betrayal on Anna’s face is priceless. The whole ambience unfolds as he kills all sources of heat in the room with the intent to kill her. Once he think Anna’s out of the way, there’s no stopping Hans from taking the throne over Elsa!

4. Scrappy-Doo from Scooby-Doo: The Movie (2002)

As a child, this film used to scare me so bad. As I’ve gotten older, though, the comedy is topnotch and the monsters are quite hilarious. Which is why Scrappy-Doo as a villain makes so much sense in the Scooby-Doo universe. When the gang finally thinks that they’ve defeated their culprit, more chaos ensues. Mondavarious was only the face of the plans. Literally! Once they rip his face off, no one is underneath the mask! Instead, Scrappy reveals to be in the robot body the whole time! All this revenge just to become a buff, tootsie roll dog.

5. Mysterio from Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019)

Mysterio’s reveal is a real kick in the face. After Tony Stark’s death, it’s hard for Peter Parker to have a father figure to look up to. He then meets Quentin Beck, AKA Mysterio. They’re chemistry throughout the film entices the viewer to keep watching their relationship grow as superheroes. However, it all comes crashing down when Beck’s plans are revealed to dominate the world and get revenge over everything Stark stood for even if it means crushing Peter in the process. The Mysterio ruse tricks everyone into thinking he’s the good guy, but in reality, he foils the path of expectation. The catastrophic events are strategically planned to make Spider-Man the villain. Mysterio’s actions leave the movie with a cliffhanger. What will happen to Peter Parker?

#tighten #megamind #dreamworks #disney #ernesto de la cruz #hans #scrappy doo #marvel #mysterio

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callmeblake · 4 years ago

Link

Frank Iero and the Future Violence To Release New EP In January

originally published: 11/19/2020

Frank Iero and the Future Violence aka The Future Violents have announced that their new Heaven is A Place, This is A Place EP will be released on January 15, 2021 via UNFD. Serving as a companion piece to 2019’s critically acclaimed full length, Barriers, the EP is split into two distinct movements.

Side A reveals the true meaning of “Violence”, a song title Iero has teased on bass drums in all his Future Violents music videos. Indeed, it’s opening gambit of “You got so sick, I thought I’d die, you got so down, I couldn’t get high” before the chorus refrain of “Your violence feels like kisses to me, your silence makes it harder to breathe, your distance feels like I’m not enough… I need your touch.” see’s Iero at his most scathing and damaged. Never have these words felt more relevant as they do now. This ferocity and redemptive anger continues into “Sewer Wolf “ where in the chorus Iero professes, “I come alive forged in fire, My love will break these chains built from pain, they can’t hold me down.”

In total contrast to side A, side B finds the band more delicate and thoughtful, complete with soaring soundscapes before the final crescendo of Record Ender. All while paying beautiful tribute to Iero’s journey with The Future Violents and it’s members musical fortitude.

In 2016, Iero and his guitar-playing brother in law, Evan Nestor, were involved in a brutal motor vehicle accident in Australia – one they barely survived. During the process of recovery, the REM song, “Losing My Religion” started making pivotal appearances in unusual places / weird circumstance and the mantra repeated itself as time went on.

When Iero resumed touring, post accident in 2017, one of the members of the support band, Kayleigh Goldsworthy, struck a chord both literally and proverbially.

Iero notes “From the first show I was completely impressed with her musicianship and by touring together I realized she was also a rad human being who I desperately wanted to write and play music with. In my mind she was already in my next band, I just had to write the music, name the band, find the other musicians, oh and of course ask her. But during that first tour together we got to talking about how she played the mandolin and how we shared a love for R.E.M., and more specifically ‘Losing my Religion’. So, on the last night of tour in San Francisco we found an empty room/hallway/stairwell type place and made an iPhone voice memo demo of the song. It felt like magic and that was the moment I was convinced this couldn’t be the only thing we did together.”

Goldsworthy’s band was subsequently invited to tour the UK & Europe and in London, a BBC session at the legendary Maida Vale studios culminated in Iero, Nestor, and Goldsworthy recording their unique take on ‘Losing’ amidst analogue history and English rain. The magic in the air was palpable and despite being on a sold out tour for an existing album (Parachutes) everyone in the room knew that this was the starting point of something new and truly great.

The New Jersey native, Iero, has always employed a new band name for each stage of his solo career (The Cellabration / The Patience / The Patients / The Future Violents / The Future Violence) and there surely can be no doubt that as ‘Losing My Religion’ is the start of the band then ‘Record Ender’, the closing track, is the bookmark conclusion as Iero sings “Maybe we fooled them all, at least I hope we did.”

Fans can stream “Losing My Religion” and pre-order Heaven is a Place, This is a Place online.

Originally tracked at the same time as Barriers by Steve Albini, Heaven was finished and mixed by long-term friend and collaborator Steve Evetts in late 2020. Describing the Steve ‘squared’ sound as sonic perfection for these songs, Iero is quick to point out that this is not merely leftovers from Barriers but very much a main course.

“The Future Violents was the perfect band at the perfect time for me. The creativity flowed through us like rapids and we didn’t stop writing because we ran out of inspiration…it was just time to go to the studio. In fact I was still writing at the studio, but I allowed myself the luxury of 14 songs on the record leaving 3 to survive in the shadows. Lying in wait. I knew I wanted them to see the light, it was just a matter of how and when.”

Elaborating on the origins of the EP, Iero comments, “The title of the EP actually comes from the night before we started recording Barriers at Electrical Audio in Chicago. The band went out to eat and get drinks at a local Tiki bar called, Lost Lake. On the menu that night there was a drink called Heaven is a place/This is the place.” shares Iero on the meaning behind the EP title. “I love when the universe gives you gifts like that. You just have to be in tune to your surroundings. The name struck me as clever and I started to think about how changing one word in that title meant something way more profound to me. Heaven is a place, if you believe in that sort of thing…It is the reward at the end of a long hard journey of fighting the good fight and living your life to whatever standards you hold dear. But it’s just a place. And so is this…This is a place, the earthly realm, miraculous on so many levels but also just a place. The difference is you and your perception.”

Heaven is a Place, This is a Place Track Listing

1. Violence

2. Sewer Wolf

3. Losing My Religion

4. Record Ender

Heaven features Evan Nestor on guitar and backing vocals, Murder By Death’s Matt Armstrong on bass, Thursday’s Tucker Rule behind the drum kit and Kayleigh Goldsworthy on keys, mandolin, and violin.

Fans can stream Barriers via UNFD.

PHOTO BY MITCHELL WOJCIK

#the beginning lyrics of violence!#violence #frank iero #frank iero and the future violents #frank iero and the future violence #new jersey stage #mitchell wojcik #radiator photoshoot

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that-shamrock-vibe · 5 years ago

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Disney+ What To Watch: My Top 10 Favourite Modern-Day Disney Classics

#2. The Princess and the Frog

With the Post-Renaissance era having mixed results from audiences, Disney decided to go back to its beloved an fruitful Disney Princess formula with the last 2D animated studio to date from the House of Mouse.

This not only reminded fans what they loved about Disney when it was on the top of its game, but also began what is now known as the Disney Revival era seeing a resurgence in Disney classics and it all began with the Disnefied spin on yet another classic fairy tale.

The Princess and the Frog does not get enough credit, period. Not only could this movie be mistaken for part of the 90s Renaissance, but the characters are fantastic, the comedy is on point, the music is original and fitting for the setting and...it may just be because there was a 71⁄2 year lull of sub-par movies from the mainstream Mouse House between Lilo & Stitch and this...but there is just this feeling of coming home or seeing an old friend again that I always get whenever I see this movie.

Now a lot of people who criticise this movie say that the main problem is the fact the plot seems very crowded, but really it is straight forward to follow and. if you treat it like a chessboard, the game is set up in the opening scene and song.

So basically you have, arguably, the best female Disney character in animation who has been brought up on strong moral values, she also has a life-long dream from a young age of becoming a well-known chef and owning her own restaurant to honour her father.

Simultaneously, you have a foreign spoiled prince who has been made broke by his parents who comes into the company of the movie’s villain who allows him to escape his troubles but by doing so curses him as a frog and employs his butler to take on the appearance of the prince, trick the local sugar baron’’s into marrying him and thereby takeover New Orleans and harvest its citizens for their souls to appease his friends on the other side.

Plots collide when our heroine meets the frog prince and is tricked into kissing him because he believes she is a princess and so promises to grant her the money for her restaurant if she frees him from his froggy prison, but instead she is turned into a frog and they must find a way to reverse the curse and thwart the evil villain.

I have genuinely just given a general synopsis of the movie in three very short paragraphs so if anyone still thinks this movie is confusing then either I’m missing something or you’re overthinking.

The lessons in this movie are so well learned and played out, the relationships are genuinely built up so that when our main protagonists do eventually fall in love it feels earned rather than just a business arrangement as it was originally going to be.

The choice to make this a 1912 Louisiana set movie, complete with a strong African-American protagonist and an equally strong ethnic Eurasian deuteragonist, as well as a Haitian villain, is genuinely revolutionary for not just Disney but family entertainment.

It doesn’t really shy away from prejudice, albeit while it is not a main focus of the movie, Tiana is put down numerous times not just for being a woman trying to succeed in life but also referred to as a woman with “her background” which means he skin colour, or her upbringing in a poor neighbourhood.

Tiana is the every girl for me, not only has she worked for everything that she has earned, even throughout the movie, but she has a smart head on her shoulders. She knows how to whip Naveen and her friends into shape, but also she is not afraid to stand up to the Shadow Man or any of her oppressors.

She also doesn’t believe herself a princess, she is not the type of doe-eyed dreamer that would usually fill the princess role. She has a drive, she’s determined, and it’s all real-world issues. Her motivations aren’t because of a man but providing for her future and maybe supporting her mother.

Even when cursed as a frog, she is still determined to achieve her goal, she just needs to be able to turn back into a human first which is where she learns life isn’t all about the endgame. That’s when she allows herself to open up to seeing the good in Naveen and allows herself to fall for him but in a natural organic way.

Anika Noni Rose does an absolutely amazing job as Tiana, she was born to be this character, I can genuinely see her as the live-action version of the character. Anyone saying Tiana was originally supposed to be Caucasian really needs a reality check, look at her design.

It also doesn’t hurt that Tiana’s main princess dress is green which happens to be my favourite colour.

Naveen is a lot like Flynn Ryder in terms of being that loveable rogue type of character but what elevates Naveen is he does at least learn and show personal growth throughout the movie, first with actually doing some hard work and cooking and then with developing actual emotions for Tiana and being conflicted into whether or not the most important thing is regaining his humanity and money or being with Tiana.

Dr. Facilier is one of the great Disney Villains, I may not be Haitian but I actually dressed as him for Halloween last year complete with UV skull face paint, now yes I’m practically a milk bottle and so a white skull face on me does not exactly show properly but I still felt very good about myself.

I loved the addition of voodoo to a family friendly atmosphere, it didn’t need to go into the blood rituals as heavily as say American Horror Story: Coven did but it still showed that a large part of voodoo is blood rituals with requiring Naveen’s blood in order to maintain the illusion of Lawrence being Naveen.

The personality they gave Facilier as well wasn’t exactly as sinister as Maleficent but instead more like Jafar or Scar, he allows himself to have his own brand of humour such as when he’s giving his tarot readings but also his sinister side manifests in how he utilises his magic and his friends on the other side and particularly his shadow.

Charlotte Le Bouff is probably the funniest supporting character I’ve seen since Mole from Atlantis or even the Genie in Aladdin. I absolutely love seeing this girl every time she is on screen, she steals the show in every scene she’s in. But also, you do feel for her. She wants that dream fairy tale life and you want her to get it because she is just that loveable.

If I had to say who I liked the least it would probably be Louis and Ray, nothing personally against them they are both decent comedic side characters, but they just seemed to be tagalongs and didn’t really contribute a purpose. Louis is an alligator who dreams of being a jazz musician which comes true when Tiana opens her restaurant and he is part of the house band, Ray is a Cajun firefly who is in love with a star and he gets to join her by becoming a star when he is, rather brutally, murdered by Facilier after a rather emotionally manipulating funeral scene.

Mama Odie and Eudora (Tiana’s mum) are great examples of Disney utilising named talent for minor roles, as both Jenifer Lewis and Oprah Winfrey respectfully do very reasonable jobs with what they’re given. I mean it’s Jenifer Lewis as a Voodoo Queen it’s just magic.

Just like Naveen, I was so happy with the infusion of Jazz music in this movie. I want to go New Orleans so badly, and I partially want to go there because it is the hub of jazz music. I loved the “Down in New Orleans” book-ended renditions at the start and the end of the movie, originally performed by Dr. John and in the reprise performed by Anika herself belting it out.

“Almost There” I love as a “I Want” song and as an empowerment mantra, it’s a song about focusing on your goals, working hard for them and it is catchy as hell.

“Friends on the Other Side” is the best villain song since “Be Prepared” and “Hellfire”. Not only does it give an amazing display of Facilier’s voodoo powers but Keith David delivers a fantastic performance all round.

“Dig a Little Deeper” is another great life motivation song, and if it is Jenifer Lewis singing it then she stays in character and does a great job.

The other songs are good, they’re nice but I do feel they’re a tad forgettable.

The Princess and the Frog is one of the more underrated Disney animated movies, it was unfairly weak at the box office, yet delivers a brilliant well-rounded story with fantastic characters, stunning visuals, great life lessons and an overall heartwarming feeling.

It’s also made me want to try beignets as I have never had them before.

So what do you guys think? Post your comments and check out more Disney+ What to Watch Top 10s as well as more Top 10 Lists and other posts.

#disney #disney+#disney plus #the princess and the frog #princess and the frog #disney+ what to watch top 10s #disney+ what to watch #my top 10 favourite modern day disney animated movies #my top 10 favourite modern day disney classics

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blackkudos · 5 years ago

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Lisa Lopes

Lisa Nicole Lopes (May 27, 1971 – April 25, 2002), better known by her stage name Left Eye, was an American rapper, singer, music producer, and dancer. Lopes was a member of the R&B girl group TLC, alongside Tionne "T-Boz" Watkins and Rozonda "Chilli" Thomas. Besides rapping and singing background vocals on TLC recordings, Lopes was one of the creative forces behind the group. She received more co-writing credits than the other members. She also designed the outfits and staging for the group and contributed to the group's image, album titles, artworks, and music videos. Through her work with TLC, Lopes won four Grammy Awards.

During her brief solo career, Lopes scored two US top 10 singles with "Not Tonight" and "U Know What's Up", as well as one UK number-one single with "Never Be the Same Again", the latter a collaboration with Melanie C of the British girl group Spice Girls. She also produced another girl group, Blaque, who scored a platinum album and two US top 10 hits. Lopes remains the only member of TLC to have released a solo album.

On April 25, 2002, Lopes was killed in a car crash while organizing charity work in Honduras. She swerved off the road to avoid hitting another vehicle, and was thrown from her car. She was working on a documentary at the time of her death, which was released as The Last Days of Left Eye and aired on VH1 in May 2007.

Life and career

1971–1990: Childhood

Lopes was born in 1971 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, the daughter of Wanda Denise (née Andino), a seamstress, and Ronald Lopes Sr., a US Army staff sergeant, who was of African-American descent. Lisa had a younger brother, Ronald Jr., and a younger sister, Raina Anitra (her nickname goes by Reigndrop). Lopes said her father was "very strict, very domineering" and that he treated the family like they were in "boot camp". He was also a "talented musician" who played the harmonica, clarinet, piano, and saxophone.

Lopes' parents separated when she was still in school, and she was raised by her paternal grandmother during the later years of her childhood. She began playing with a toy keyboard at 5 years old, and later composed her own songs. By age 10, she formed the musical trio The Lopes Kids with her siblings, with whom she sang gospel songs at local events and churches. She attended the Philadelphia High School for Girls.

1990–1998: TLC

In late 1990, having heard of an open casting call for a new girl group through her then-boyfriend, Lopes moved to Atlanta to audition. Originally starting as a female trio called 2nd Nature, the group was renamed TLC, derived from the first initials of its members at the time: Tionne Watkins, Lisa Lopes and Crystal Jones. Things did not work out with Jones, and TLC's manager Perri "Pebbles" Reid brought in Damian Dame backup dancer Rozonda Thomas as a third member of the group. To preserve the band's original name, Thomas needed a name starting with C, which is how she became "Chilli," a name chosen by Lopes. Watkins became T-Boz, derived from the first letter of her first name and "Boz" (slang for "boss"). Lopes was renamed "Left Eye" after a compliment from New Edition member Michael Bivins who once told her he was attracted to her because of her left eye, which was more slanted than the right eye. Lopes emphasized her nickname by wearing a pair of glasses with the right lens covered by a condom, in keeping with the group's support of safe sex, wearing a black stripe under her left eye, and eventually getting her left eyebrow pierced.

The group arrived on the music scene in 1992 with the album Ooooooohhh... On the TLC Tip. With four hit singles, it sold six million copies worldwide, leading to the group becoming a household name. Two years later CrazySexyCool was released, selling over 23 million copies worldwide. TLC's third album, FanMail, was released in 1999 and sold over 14 million copies worldwide. Its title was a tribute to TLC's loyal fans and the sleeve contained the names of hundreds of them as a "thank you".

During the recording of FanMail, a public conflict began amongst the members of the group. In the May 1999 issue of Vibemagazine, Lopes said, "I've graduated from this era. I cannot stand 100 percent behind this TLC project and the music that is supposed to represent me." In response to Lopes' comments, Watkins and Thomas stated to Entertainment Weekly that Lopes "doesn't respect the whole group" and "Left Eye is only concerned with Left Eye." In response, Lopes sent a reply through Entertainment Weekly issuing a "challenge" to Watkins and Thomas to release solo albums and let the public decide who was the "greatest" member of TLC:

I challenge Tionne Watkins (T-Boz) and Rozonda Thomas (Chilli) to an album entitled "The Challenge"... a 3-CD set that contains three solo albums. Each [album]... will be due to the record label by October 1, 2000... I also challenge Dallas 'The Manipulator' Austin to produce all of the material and do it at a fraction of his normal rate. As I think about it, I'm sure LaFace would not mind throwing in a $1.5 million prize for the winner.

T-Boz and Chilli declined to take up the challenge, though Lopes always maintained it was a great idea. Things were heated between the ladies for some time, with Thomas speaking out against Lopes, calling her antics "selfish", "evil", and "heartless". TLC then addressed these struggles by saying that they are very much like sisters who have their disagreements every now and then as Lopes explained, "It's deeper than a working relationship. We have feelings for each other, which is why we get so mad at each other. I usually say that you cannot hate someone unless you love them. So, we love each other. That's the problem."

1998–2002: Solo career

In 1998, Lopes hosted the short-lived MTV series, The Cut, in which a list of aspiring pop stars, rappers, and rock bands competed against each other in front of judges. The show's winner, which ended up being a male-female rap duo named Silky, was promised a record deal and funding to produce a music video, which would then enter MTV's heavy rotation. A then-unknown Anastacia finished in third place, but ended up securing a record deal after Lopes and the show's three judges were impressed by her performance.

After the release of FanMail, Lopes began to expand her solo career. She became a featured rapper on several singles, including Spice Girl Melanie C's "Never Be the Same Again", which topped the charts in 35 countries, including the United Kingdom. She was also featured on "U Know What's Up", the first single from Donell Jones' second album, Where I Wanna Be, and she rapped a verse in "Space Cowboy" with NSYNC on their 2000 album, No Strings Attached. On October 4, 2000, Lopes co-hosted the UK's MOBO Awards with Trevor Nelson, where she also performed "U Know What's Up" with Jones. She also collaborated on "Gimme Some" by Toni Braxton for her 2000 album The Heat. She had previously featured on Keith Sweat's song "How Do You Like It?". In 2001, she appeared in a commercial for the fashion brand Gap. In July 2001, Lopes appeared on the singers' edition of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire along with Joey McIntyre, Tyrese, Nick Lachey, and Lee Ann Womack. She dropped the $125,000 question and won $32,000 for her charity. After her death in 2002, the episode she appeared in was shown and was dedicated to her.

Lopes created Left Eye Productions to discover new talent. She mentored the R&B trio Blaque, and helped them secure a record deal with Columbia Records. Their self-titled debut album was executive-produced by Lopes, who also made a cameo appearance in their music video "808" and also rapped in their second music video "I Do". Lopes was also developing and promoting another new band called Egypt. They worked with Lopes on her second album under her new nickname, N.I.N.A., meaning New Identity Not Applicable.

In 1996, Lopes created the UNI Studios for the purpose of recording solo projects. Lopes' family opened the studio to the public. Her brother Ronald is the general manager of the studio. Lopes had a dream of making new artists able to record music at a low cost, in a high-end studio at her house. Her family continues to operate it and fill it with new equipment.

Supernova

Lopes spent much of her free time after the conclusion of TLC's first headlining tour, the FanMail Tour, recording her debut solo album, Supernova. It includes a song titled "A New Star is Born", which is dedicated to her late father. She told MTV News:

That track is dedicated to all those that have loved ones that have passed away. It's saying that there is no such thing as death. We can call it transforming for a lack of better words, but as scientists would say, 'Every atom that was once a star is now in you.' It's in your body. So, in the song I pretty much go along with that idea. ... I don't care what happens or what people think about death, it doesn't matter. We all share the same space.

Other tracks covered other personal issues, including her relationship with NFL football player Andre Rison. In 1994, before the start of Rison's fifth and final season with the Falcons, Lopes accidentally burned down Rison Atlanta mansion. Among the album's 13 tracks was also a posthumous duet with Tupac Shakur that was assembled from the large cache of unreleased recordings done prior to his murder in 1996. Initially scheduled for release on a date to coincide with the 11th anniversary of her grandfather's death, Arista Records decided to delay and then cancel the American release. The album was eventually released in August 2001 in different foreign countries. The Japan import includes a bonus track called "Friends", which would later be sampled for "Give It to Me While It's Hot" on TLC's fourth album 3D.

N.I.N.A.

After numerous talks with Death Row Records CEO Suge Knight, Lopes severed her solo deal with Arista (despite remaining signed to the label as a member of TLC) and signed with Knight's Death Row Records in January 2002, intending to record a second solo album under the pseudonym "N.I.N.A." (New Identity Not Applicable). She was recording with David Bowie for the project, whom she was also trying to get involved with the fourth TLC album. The project was also to include several songs recorded with Ray J along with close friend Missy Elliott. After Lopes' death in April 2002, Death Row Records still had plans to complete and release the album (unfinished at the time of Lopes' death) in October 2002, but the album was cancelled for unknown reasons. In 2011, some tracks from the album were uploaded onto YouTube featuring artists from Tha Row Records. Lopes's unreleased songs were also sampled by TLC for their fourth album 3Dafter she died. Another track, "Too Street 4 T.V" (featuring Danny Boy), was released on the soundtrack to the 2003 film Dysfunktional Family.

2008: Posthumous honorary album

In 2008, Lopes' family decided to work with producers at Surefire Music Group to create a posthumous album in her honor, Eye Legacy. Originally set to be released October 28, 2008, the release date was pushed back to November 11, then to January 27, 2009. The song 'Neva Will Eye Eva' and "Crank It", both feature and were co-produced by Lopes' sister Raina "Reigndrop" Lopes. The first official single from the album, "Let's Just Do It", was released on January 13, 2009 and features Missy Elliott and TLC. The second official single, "Block Party", features Lil Mama. The album largely consists of reworked versions of tracks from the Supernova album. In November 2009, Forever... The EP was released which contained international bonus tracks not used on the Eye Legacy album. The EP was only available to download. An unreleased track featuring Lopes was uploaded to SoundCloud on the eve of the 10-year anniversary of her death by Block Starz Music.

Personal life

Lopes was often vocal about her personal life and difficult past. She readily admitted that she had come from an abusive, alcoholic background and struggled with alcoholism herself. These issues became headline news in 1994, when she was arrested for setting fire to Andre Rison's sneakers in a bathtub, which ultimately spread to the mansion they shared and destroyed it. She claimed that Rison had beaten her after a night out, and she set fire to his shoes to get back at him but that burning down the house was an accident. Lopes later revealed that she did not have a lot of freedom within the relationship and that Rison abused her emotionally and physically; she said that she released her frustrations about the relationship on the night of the fire.

Lopes was sentenced to five years' probation and therapy at a halfway house, and was unable to shake the incident from her reputation. Her relationship with Rison continued to make headlines, with rumors of an imminent wedding, later debunked by People magazine. Lopes revealed on The Last Days of Left Eye documentary that her meeting with a struggling mother in rehab left a big impression on her. She subsequently adopted the woman's 8-year-old daughter. She had adopted a 12-year-old boy ten years prior.

Lopes had several tattoos. Most prominent was a large eagle on her left arm, which she said represented freedom. Later, she added the number "80" around the eagle, which was Rison's NFL number while in Atlanta. She also had a tattoo of a moon with a face on her foot in reference to Rison's nickname, "Bad Moon", Lopes later added the words "Love U 2" in the musical notes on her foot for Tupac Shakur. On her upper right arm was a large tattoo of the name "Parron" for her late step brother who died in a boating accident, arching over a large tattoo of a pierced heart. Her smallest tattoo was on her left earlobe and consisted of an arrow pointing to her left over the symbol of an eye, a reference to her nickname. Lopes struggled with self-harm and even carved the words "hate" and "love" into her arm with a razor.

Roughly two weeks before her own death, Lopes was a passenger in a traffic accident that resulted in the death of a 10-year-old Honduran boy. As reported in Philadelphia Weekly, "It is commonplace for people to walk the roads that wind through Honduras, and it's often difficult to see pedestrians." The boy, Bayron Isaul Fuentes Lopez, was following behind his brothers and sisters when he stepped off the median strip and was struck by a van driven by Stephanie, Lopes' personal assistant. Lopes' party stopped and loaded the boy into the car, and Lopes "cradled the dying boy's bleeding head in her arms" while "someone gave him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation as they rushed him to a nearby hospital." He died the next day. Lopes paid approximately $3,700 for his medical expenses and funeral, and she gave the family around $925 for any extra costs, although it was apparently agreed upon by the authorities and the boy's family that his death was an "unforeseeable tragedy" and no blame was placed on the driver of the van or Lopes. In the documentary The Last Days of Left Eye, Lopes is shown choosing a casket for the child from a local funeral home. Earlier in the documentary, Lopes mentioned that she felt the presence of a "spirit" following her, and was struck by the fact that the child killed in the accident shared a similar last name, even thinking that the spirit may have made a mistake by taking his life instead of hers.

Death

On April 25, 2002, Lopes was driving a rented Mitsubishi Montero SUV in La Ceiba, Honduras, when she swerved slightly to avoid a truck (it is not clear if the truck was slow-moving or stationary) then immediately to the right as she tried to avoid an oncoming car. The vehicle rolled several times after hitting two trees, throwing Lopes and three others out of the windows, and finally coming to rest in a ditch at the side of the road. Lopes, at the age of 30, died instantly of "fracture of the base of the cranium" and "open cerebral trauma", and was the only person fatally injured in the accident. A cameraman in the front passenger seat was videotaping at the time, so the last seconds leading up to the swerve that resulted in the fatal accident were recorded on video. Victims of the accident were taken to Liverpool Royal Hospital. Her sister Reigndrop Lopes was in the vehicle and survived the collision.

Lopes' funeral was held at New Birth Missionary Baptist Church in Lithonia, Georgia, on May 2, 2002. Thousands of people attended. Engraved upon her casket were the lyrics to her portion of "Waterfalls", stating "Dreams are hopeless aspirations, in hopes of coming true, believe in yourself, the rest is up to me and you." Gospel duo Mary Mary sang their song "Shackles (Praise You)" at the funeral. Lopes was buried at Hillandale Memorial Gardens in Lithonia.

In a statement to MTV, producer Jermaine Dupri remembered Lopes: "She was determined to be something in life. She was a true rock star. She didn't care about no press. She was the rock star out of the group. She was the one that would curse on TV. She had the tattoos. You could expect the unexpected. When you see Lisa, you could expect something from her. That's the gift she carried."

Legacy

Lopes was in the process of setting up two educational centers for Honduran children. One was built on an 80-acre plot of land she called Camp YAC. The other center was called Creative Castle.

In 2003, shortly after Lopes' death, her family started the Lisa Lopes Foundation, a charitable group dedicated to providing neglected and abandoned youth with the resources necessary to increase their quality of life. Her spiritual motto was the one used for her foundation: "Energy never dies... it just transforms." Her foundation went into various underdeveloped villages and gave new clothes to poor children and their families. In August 2007, the foundation hosted a charity auction, selling items donated by celebrities. It raised approximately $5,000 for the Hogar de Amor ("Home of Love"), an orphanage in Honduras. In 2012, the foundation began hosting an annual music festival, known as "Left Eye Music Fest", in Decatur, Georgia.In the 2018 Boots Riley film Sorry to Bother You, members of a fictional activist group called "Left Eye" use as their symbol a stripe of eye black under the left eye, in an unmentioned reference to Lopes.

Posthumous documentary

A documentary showing the final 27 days of Lopes' life, titled The Last Days of Left Eye, premiered at the Atlanta Film Festival in April 2007, for an audience that included many of Lopes' contemporaries, including Monica, Ronnie DeVoe, 112, Big Boi, India.Arie, and Cee Lo Green. VH1 and VH1 Soul broadcast the documentary on May 19, 2007. Most of the footage was shot with a handheld camera, often in the form of diary entries filmed by Lopes while on a 30-day spiritual retreat in Honduras with sister Reigndrop, brother Ronald and members of the R&B group Egypt. In these entries, she reflected on her personal life and career. A calmer side of her personality was on display, showing interests in numerology and yoga. In January 2020, Lifetime aired an episode of Hopelessly In Love, a docuseries that captures the relationships of the rich and famous, about Lopes and Rison's tumultuous relationship. It showcased the complexity of their relationship and how she ended up with a felony arson charge for burning down Rison's Atlanta mansion.

#05/27 #04/25

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quilloftheclouds · 5 years ago

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Writeblr Positivity Week!

(Ignore my heckin’ weird handwriting.)

I knooowwww this is super late but Quill got real busy this week with working on schoolwork and Nano so I didn’t have time to finish this up until now but!! Have this!!!

As a part of Writeblr Positivity Week, a lovely event hosted by the wondrous @pens-swords-stuff, I have put together:

A Selection of Quill’s Favourite WIPs and Writeblrs

(Because there is absolutely No Way I could show all of them, and this is already super long so under the cut we go~)

@lady-redshield-writes: Not only a wonderfully supportive icon of the writeblr community, who always leaves marvelously inspiring and insightful comments on original content that gives me and undeniably many others so much more motivation to write, but Lady Red is also such a heckin’ inspirationally SKILLED WRITER. IT’S HECKIN’ AMAZING. Her characters! Her description! The amount of personality in her dialogue and just how engaging her worldbuilding and created atmospheres are, but the EMOTION. THE EMOTION. GOOOO read something of hers and you’ll instantly know what I mean---good luck getting through not completely overwhelmed with feeling!

And Miles to Go Before I Sleep: Humans are the size of insects, warriors ride dragonflies into battle, and an eldritch god-ant rules with absolute power.

Symphony Number Five: Evka Sekerak, composer and musician, directs the Teplirov Symphony, and is commissioned to write her fifth symphony by the military officials who keep her city captive.

@waterfallwritings: HECK MATE. JASON. DUDE. WHERE DO I START? YOU’VE BEEN TOSSING COMPLIMENTS MY WAY ALL DAY WHAT. But seriously though, this kid is best. Best Friendo of the Quill. Jason is hugely supportive throughout my writing and throughout my real life since I met him, and his own writing is basically the main inspiration behind why OSS even exists in the first place. We’ve had absolutely so much fun reading through each others’ works and joking around, and talking with him has helped me to discover and develop so many things about my own wip. Not only that but!! His writing is marvelous. His characters are all so fun in their own ways, and I’ve loved watching as they’ve developed to such three dimensional personalities in a story full of epic adventure and intrigue!

A Selkie’s Home: After a storm and a shipwreck, a selkie missing her skin, a triton disguised as a human, a morally questionable sea witch, and a hapless lover of the ocean end up on the same island. When the selkie is kidnapped, the remaining three have to form an unlikely alliance to get her back.

@bookenders: ENDERS IS A REAL DARN NEAT PERSON OKAY. She is the cool 🌵 friend!! She’s a wondrously creative and kind person, and so much fun to talk to! Her STS asks are always so interesting to answer and I just. And I! Just! Love! Her writing oh my stars it’s the best thing ever. Her characters are always so relatable and lovable, with such wonderful personalities and are always so detailed that they feel like real people. She’s also the creator of several of my favourite characters (see: Fred from H2H and Ryan from FF). Her description is astounding, and the way she experiments with different formats and styles is so, SO inspiring, and she always does it in such a skillful way, that reads so nicely!

Heart to Heart: After a series of half-drownings in the lake near the small town of Lindsay, a strange woman appears on the shore, refusing to speak. The local apothecary is sent in to try and help, and now... they’re roommates?

Fish Food: Now assigned to facing the villains of the lowest threat levels after suffering severe losses from his fight against the supervillain Nightmare, Iron Will has to team up with the worst villain he’s ever seen to fend off the threat of a conspiracy that could destroy their world as they know it.

@abalonetea: OKAY FIRST. Amazingly supportive. Amazingly friendly and creative and an absolute delight to talk to! Katie is marvelous. Her art and her moodboards are so cool and so wonderfully fitting to her characters and stories. And her writing? Oh. Ohhh. Her writing is to die for. Her unique skill of manipulating different text formatting to match the emotion and thoughts of her narrative is just. Stellar, and sets her writing apart from anything I’ve read before. It’s so full of emotion, the way she writes dynamics is INSPIRATIONAL, and her worldbuilding is so wonderfully detailed and engaging. I just. I just LOVE. OKAY. I don’t normally ship characters but Red and Bolte will always be my favourite. And Katie’s message of hope being able to stick it through the worst of it is such a wonderfully motivational theme!

Groundhog Day: Two versions of the same classic rpg video game, one the gritty reboot of the other, glitch together, switching the games of one of the characters with his counterpart—Red and Blue. Now they have to try and find their ways back amidst the formation of friendship and family and the threat of a new war.

As Time Passes On: Two classic pirates form a precarious alliance to set out to find the Eighth Sea, and a device that can turn back time.

@livvywrites: I’ve only more recently been getting into Livvy’s works but. Wooooooow. WOW. Her writing is fantabulous. Her graphics are gorgeous. I LOVE her characters, so so much. They’re all so distinct in personality and backstory and situation, and the way they’re all involved in the story is marvelously fascinating. SPEAKING OF THE STORY THO. Livvy’s worldbuilding is???? SO IN DEPTH. It is the most deep worldbuilding for a magic type world I think I’ve yet to see on writeblr? I am sooo very excited to see how she integrates it into the plot! But also Livvy is an absolutely magnificent person all around and so supportive and creative and sooo fun to talk to. Love ya, darling~

The Martyr Queen: Alinora Mynerva is visited by one of Death's Reapers, and told she was never meant to exist. She is asked to become his Champion, to stop Fate from destroying the world. Alinora isn't sure she's willing to fight a god... but she is willing to fight the man who took her homeland from her 10 years ago.

Pirate’s Bane: [Quill legitimately can’t summarize this one in so short a space because it’s so delightfully complex, but it’s a brilliant continuation of the previous book above! Go click the link to read the synopsis on the intro post~]

@mvcreates: I’M SORRY FOR ALL THESE TAGS DEAR MINA BUT YOU DESERVE THEM. Probably just the most interactive person in the writeblr community, Mina’s events and ask games and onwards all are so wonderful, and her engagement with reblogging and commenting on people’s original content is inspirational. AND I’M SAYING IT FOR THE THOUSANDTH TIME BUT THAT DOESN’T DECREASE IT’S MEANING: heckin’ poetic like prose with how much symbolism she fits in there and how lovely it sounds to read aloud, wonderfully clever dialogue and banter and characterization, and characters you love to root for. And her ART. OH MY STARS HER ART. *swoons at majestic colours and shading and textures*

Retrocognition: An investigative journalist with a paranormal gift joins forces with a cantankerous federal agent to expose a Reno-based politician’s (murderous) corruption.

The Vizier’s Apprentice: An alternate universe retelling of a classic Persian love story: One Thousand and One Nights.

@dogwrites: Venturing into the world of Crime of Mind has only been a very recent endeavour of mine, and I’m only two episodes in at the moment, but gosh golly yarn darn it this story is MARVELOUS. Dog’s ability to write memorable characters with such distinct and identifiable personalities is lovely, their dialogue is wonderful and the body language and description is so heckin’ engaging, and puts you right in the scene with them. And Dog’s also a marvelous artist holy wow. NOT TO MENTION just how awesome Dog is as a person?? Heckin’ ridiculously nice, leaves such insightful and appreciated comments that charge me on. AH. JUST A LOVELY LOVELY THAT I HAD SUCH AN HONOUR OF MEETING. YES.

Crime of Mind: Dr. Benji Russells, an autistic federal agent, is the youngest member of the Behavioral Analysis Unit, whose knack at viewing individuals and their behavioral chemtrails turned her into a viable asset---but delving into the minds of the country's most insidious leaves none unscathed in the end.

@ardawyn: OH. MASTER OF DESCRIPTION, HERE. All of Sophie’s writing feels like it could have been written in the world of the story itself despite being very clear and lovely to read, with a vaguely medieval vibe to it all that adds so much to the reading experience. The way she describes environments just puts you right into the scene with the characters, characters that are all written marvelously with beautifully lovable personalities and dialogue and dynamics. And her graphics? Oh, ohhhh. Sophie is probably my greatest inspiration for making graphics and aesthetics for writeblr. Every single one of hers are instantly eye-catching and fit the mood and theme sooo well. Plus, the comments she leaves on my content are just the sweetest thing, and always warm my heart when I read them. <3

The Dawnbringer: A niece of Issarien’s king, Tilda fights against the constricting expectations of her role, making it her mission to find her brother after his disappearance. Rajani is given rooms in the castle of the Prince of Hallrein after being caught stealing, offered a perilous deal she has no choice but to accept. But these two women are connected in an unknown way...

Night Crystals: Amaria was raised an assassin at the orphanage The Obsidian to serve the king of Calastari. But after discovering a secret, she must make the choice whether to stay and swallow lies, or seal her death sentence trying to leave.

@radley-writes: Although I haven’t interacted much yet with Radley, I’ve fallen completely in love with their writing and ideas. Their art is so lovely and professional and clean, and the body language and personality it portrays is marvelous. But their writing? Outrageously good, and brilliantly hilarious. I’ve mainly only been following His Majesty’s Starship so far, but the way that Radley is able to match the vocabulary and narrative to the time period of the story is so skillful and inspiring, and is absolutely wonderfully engaging by placing you right into the setting like it’s real. The integration of worldbuilding is done extraordinarily well and I am in love with all of the distinct personalities and dialogue of their wondrous cast of idiots.

His Majesty’s Starship: The Eurasian powers expand their empires to the furthest-flung reaches of the solar system – as well as their endless wars. As nations and companies vie for control of the Off-World Colonies , a trio of utter imbeciles come into possession of a secret that many would kill for. A secret that changes everything…

Anywayssss there are sooo, so many more wips that I consider favourites of mine, and so many more writeblrs that I think are the absolute bomb, but Quill’s energy isn’t limitless!

That said, maybe I’ll make up a simpler post of a bunch of recommendations later... hm..........

ANYWAYS YEAH GO CHECK THESE LOVELIES OUT

#writeblr #writeblr positivity week #writeblr recs #writeblr recommendations #wpw #writeblr friends #Quill's recs #writeblr community

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spoookymuulders · 4 years ago

Text

perchance to dream.

read it on ao3 here word count: 23,507 summary: With two families dead, the BAU is called to Colorado to try and connect the murders. Something about the deaths seems familiar to Reid, but he can’t quite put his finger on it. And when a familiar face shows up, it throws another cog into the machine, complicating things further. warnings: mentions of drowning, cpr, mentions of religion, mentions of death and cemeteries a quick lil author’s note on this chapter!! i wanna take a second to thank everyone who's read and commented on this story. it's the first multi-chapter fic i've posted in like.. ten years? probably?? and all of your comments and warm words were SO encouraging. i really really really appreciate all of y'all who read this! like i said at the beginning, this is the final chapter but it's not the end! we've got ten more seasons to get through and i already have a handful of drabbles written/half-written so be on the lookout for more additions to this series!!

chapter six. no place like home.

The summers die, one by one. How soon they fly, on and on. - Musician Herbert Kretzmer

Spencer Reid has never been a religious man. If there is a God, he’s often wondered why they would have let him suffer the way he did as a child? Why would they have let his tormentors harass him the way they did, why would they have let his mother suffer the way she does, when all she’s ever wanted is to put love and light and happiness into the world?

And why the hell would they have taken Parker away from him? Parker, the one ray of sunlight in his life - it’s where he’d gotten her nickname from. His mother had always said she’s like a ray of sunshine, and he’d always agreed. Parker is bright and happy and warm like the sun, and if anything happens to her he swears he’ll lose his mind.

People, religious people, have always told him everything happens for a reason. That’s crap, he thinks, because what reason was there for him to be tied to a goalpost at twelve? What reason was there for his father to leave when he was ten? What reason was there for him to be reunited with Parker, only to have her ripped away from him so viciously again?

Religious people have always told him God’s will must be done; that was Tobias Hankle’s whole thing. God’s will. As Morgan tears down the dirt road in the SUV, Spencer thinks that God’s will is stupid and ridiculous and he’d like to give God a piece of his mind if this is his will.

The SUV screeches to a halt, Hotch throwing the other one into park behind them as everyone hops out, drawing weapons and heading for the house. As they climb the steps, Spencer sees why Parker described it as something out of Pride and Prejudice - it looks like it’s been mostly untouched since that era. They clear the house and Spencer can hear his heart pounding in his ears.

“Where’s that brain, pretty boy, what’re you thinkin’?” Morgan asks.

“Shakespeare’s tragedies. He’s done Othello, Antony and Cleopatra, Julius Caesar, and Macbeth.” Spencer says, pacing slowly. “That leaves Coriolanus, King Lear, Romeo and Juliet, Hamlet - Hamlet.” He stops, his eyes widening, and yanks his phone out of his pocket, dialing Garcia’s number quickly.

“Boy Genius! How can I help?” She asks brightly.

“Is there a - a lake or a river or something near the house where Malloy held Parker?” He asks sharply. Garcia taps away at her keyboard quickly, chewing at her lip as she does so.

“Yeah, there’s a lake about half a mile south of there, why?”

Spencer doesn’t answer, snapping his phone closed and shoving it into his pocket.

“He took her to the lake.”

He’s moving before anyone else can say a word, his legs pumping faster than he’s ever run. Morgan and Hotch are hot on his heels, along with the rest of the team. As the lake comes into view, Spencer spies movement a hundred or so yards away.

“Over there!” He shouts, pointing in the direction Malloy just took off. Emily and Rossi sprint after Malloy, following the sounds of heavy footfalls and snapping branches. Hotch sends Reid along one side of the lakeshore while he takes the other and Morgan goes straight to the water’s edge.

It’s Morgan who finds her.

****

Emily doesn’t remember the last time she moved this fast - honestly, she’s not sure she ever has. She catches glimpses of Malloy through the trees as she runs after him with Rossi, her gun at the ready. When they stumble into a clearing and realize Malloy has trapped himself between them and the wall of a cliff, they slow their footsteps and move forward slowly.

“It’s over, Jacob.” Emily calls, watching him carefully. He looks around, as though he’s looking for a way out. Emily knows he won’t find one. His eyes flick between her and Rossi, a twisted smile touching his lips. “If you come with us now, we can work something out.”

She sees the look in his eyes - sees the moment that he realizes that there’s only two ways he’s leaving this forest; in handcuffs or in a bodybag. His eyes land on Emily again and he smirks.

“The rest,” He says, “is silence.”

With that, he charges at Emily. She wastes no time in firing at him twice, relaxing her stance only when he drops heavily into the grass. Footsteps coming out of the brush catch her attention and she turns, gesturing at Malloy’s body when the locals come hurrying out.

“Come on.” Rossi says, grabbing her elbow gently and tugging her back in the direction of the lake. “I get the feeling the kid might need us.”

****

He sees the fabric of her dress first, and he’s launching himself into the water before he has time to think about it. His heart lurches at the sight of Parker floating in the water, the green gown wafting around her delicately as she bobs up and down slowly in the waves. He slides his arms under her knees and her back, scooping her up, and hurries to the water’s edge, screaming for Hotch.

He lays her down delicately on the rocky beach, vaguely aware of Hotch stopping Reid behind him as Reid lets out a broken noise. He wastes no time in starting CPR, pushing heavily for the chest compressions and blowing air into her mouth. He prays silently as he works, willing God not to take her. Other hurried footsteps on the beach alert him to the presence of the rest of the team, but he keeps working.

“Come on.” He breathes, pushing against Parker’s chest again. “Come on, sweetheart, don’t do this. Wake up.”

Behind him, JJ moves to stand beside Hotch and Reid, touching Reid’s arm gently. Prentiss and Rossi stand shoulder-to-shoulder, watching anxiously. Hotch keeps his face stoic and stays silent, keeping his hold on Reid. Morgan won’t believe that Parker is gone. Not after everything she’s been through. After escaping from Malloy once, she doesn’t deserve to go out, not like this. Not here in this shitty forest, in this shitty lake.

He pushes again, and almost lets out a sob when she coughs suddenly, water spouting out of her mouth. He hurries to turn her onto her side, patting her back and helping her get all the water out. The tension in the air dissipates and Hotch lets his grip on Reid slacken. Reid sprints forward, dropping to his knees beside Parker and brushing her hair back as she lays against the rocks, eyes closed. Her hands curl around his wrists lightly and Morgan sits back, resting his elbows on his knees for a moment and hanging his head.

Reid helps Parker sit up and clutches her to him when she throws herself into his arms, sobbing. He clings to her like a lifeline, pressing his face to her shoulder, tears of his own adding to the lakewater clinging to her skin. He starts whispering apologies and she shakes her head against his neck, clinging to him tighter and curling her hands in the back of his sweater.

****

Spencer hovers by the end of the ambulance as the paramedics check Parker over. Aside from the bruising on her wrists and around her throat, she’s unscathed. His heart squeezes painfully as the paramedics step away and he sees her properly, wrapped up in an FBI windbreaker and with a heavy blanket from the paramedics around her shoulders. She’s perched on the back of the ambulance, her damp hair pushed over one shoulder, and she meets his eye and offers a tired smile. He tries to smile back, but he knows it doesn’t work.

She pats the spot beside her lightly and he pads forward, sitting next to her quietly. They watch the house silently for a few long moments before either of them speaks.

“I’m so sorry.” He says finally, his voice barely above a whisper. Parker shakes her head instantly.

“Don’t.” She says, her voice hoarse but firm. Spencer glances at her anxiously. “Don’t even start. This wasn’t your fault, Spencer, it was my own fault.”

“Parker-” He starts, but she shakes her head again.

“Spencer, I’m the one who wouldn’t let you come outside with me. If I’d let you come.. Who knows. This might not have happened. Or it might have happened and he might have taken you, too. Or done something worse to you, and I couldn’t-” She says softly, shaking her head and sliding her arm through his gently. Spencer sighs slowly, hanging his head, and Parker leans into him, resting her cheek to his shoulder. “I’m okay. I’m here.”

Humming softly, Spencer winds an arm around Parker gently, holding her against him tightly and closing his eyes. She scoots closer, tucking her chin to his shoulder and offering a small, tired smile when he turns his head to press a kiss to her temple. They sit in silence, shut away from the chaos of everything around them for a few minutes before Spencer kisses her forehead again and wrinkles his nose.

“You taste like lakewater.” He says quietly, and Parker scoffs, feigning offense, and smacks his knee gently.

“I can’t imagine why.” She retorts. Spencer looks down at her, smiling softly, and she returns it easily, winding her arms around his waist and squeezing him tightly for a moment. “D’you think the hospital will mind if I use up all their hot water to take a three-hour shower?”

****

Two weeks later .

Parker is still adjusting to life at home. She’s been staying with Jeremy and his family in Vegas - along with her mother and Spencer, neither of whom will let her out of their sight - and realizing that she didn’t miss the heat. She’s been getting to know AJ’s fiance, Alex, and Jeremy’s kids - her niece and nephew. It still blows her mind that she’s an aunt . That her big brother has kids . They’re all out at the park for the day, Parker perched on a bench as PJ and Luke sprint around after AJ and Alex. She smiles tenderly at the scene, then catches Spencer’s eye and jerks her head to the side. He nods and excuses himself from his conversation with Jeremy and Sophia, coming to stand beside Parker as she slides off the bench.

“You okay?” He asks softly. Parker nods, chewing the inside of her lip.

“Can we take a walk?” She asks quietly. Spencer nods, his hand settling at the small of Parker’s back gently as they slip away from the rest of their group. Spencer thinks at first that they’re just wandering, but it doesn’t take him long to see that Parker has a destination in mind, and he understands instantly as the gates of the cemetery come into view. She’s been putting this off since they came back to Vegas, but she knows she can’t do that forever.

They slip through the gates silently, Spencer’s hand lowering from Parker’s back. She slips her hand into his and he brushes his thumb along her knuckles slowly. She feels like she’s on autopilot as she heads for her family’s plot. Fifty or so feet away, she stops. Spencer stops beside her, looking down.

“D’you want me to come with you?” He asks softly. Parker shakes her head, exhaling quietly, and steps away from him. Spencer perches on a stone bench nearby as she approaches the headstone she’s looking for and sinks into the dry grass. She stares at it for a few long minutes, contemplating what exactly she wants to say. In the end, she settles for simplicity.

“Hi, daddy.” She says softly, sniffling. She swallows thickly, twisting her lip as she stares at the tiny dash between the dates of birth and death. “I’m home.”

Spencer watches from his spot on the bench, wondering if he should go sit with her. He decides against it - she needs to do this on her own. He takes in her body language, the way she sits with her legs criss-crossed first, leaning forward and picking at the grass. She talks to the stone for a while - something Spencer has never really understood, but he doesn’t question it - and when she finally sits back and pulls her knees to her chest and wraps her arms around them, Spencer stands and pads over to sit beside her, the grass crunching beneath his feet. She leans into him as he settles, and he wraps an arm around her shoulders, rubbing her arm gently.

“He’d be proud of you.” He tells her softly.

“You think so?”

“I know so.”

****

Jeremy has a hammock in his backyard, and that’s where Parker spends most of her time. Spencer finds her there now, one leg hanging out, the toe of her sneaker pressing against the tree one end is tied to so she can swing slowly, and an arm thrown over her eyes as she basks in the fading sunlight.

“Hey.” He says, stopping beside the hammock. She hums in response. “Jeremy says dinner’s just about ready. He wanted me to come let you know.” Parker lowers her arm, squinting at him in the sun, and Spencer raises a brow at her as she wiggles for a moment.

“Well, get in, dummy.” She says, squirming to adjust the hammock so there’s room for Spencer beside her. He laughs softly and climbs in carefully, draping his arm around Parker as she settles against him. He cards his fingers through her hair slowly, wrapping one of her curls around his index finger gently and admiring the way it catches the light as she rests her cheek to his chest. They swing together in silence for a few minutes before Spencer speaks, his voice just above a whisper so as not to disturb the quiet of the coming evening.

“Penny for your thoughts.”

Parker hums in response, brushing her fingers along Spencer’s arm absently.

“I want everyone to stop treating me like I’m gonna break.” She murmurs finally. Spencer hums curiously, glancing down at her. She looks up at him, lifting her head to rest her chin to his chest and watch him as she speaks. “I mean - I get it. I do. But I’m not.. I’m not a teacup in a china shop. I feel like everyone is panicking about saying something that’ll upset me or whatever, and I - y’know, I’m not fine , but I’m okay. I’m not gonna shatter.”

“Everyone’s worried.” He tells her, and she sighs softly.

“I know, and I get it, Spencer, I do. But I just.. I wish everyone would stop treating me like I can’t handle anything anymore.” She says quietly.

“Parker, you’re the strongest person I’ve ever met.” He says softly, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear gently. “And we know you can handle anything. But you don’t have to. Not alone.”

“I know that, but.. I want to. I have to be allowed to do stuff on my own.”

Spencer hums softly, tugging at one of Parker’s curls gently and watching as it springs back into place. “I know how you feel.” He says finally. She glances up at him, resting her chin on his chest gently as he speaks. “There was a case a couple years ago that.. Went south, let’s say. Everyone treated me like broken glass after, like if they said the wrong thing I was gonna shatter into a million pieces. And maybe I would have, who knows? But I got through it - and some of it, I got through alone. But most of it, I got through with the help of the people around me. My family.” Humming thoughtfully, Parker nods.

“That’s what family is for, right?” Spencer continues, looking down at her. “They’re there by your side through the good stuff, but they’re there for you through the hard stuff, too. And you have - you have your mom, and the boys, and Sophia and the kids. You’ve got me - and the rest of my team, I think Morgan might like you better than he likes me.” Parker giggles at that, shaking her head a little.

“What am I paying a therapist for when I have you?” She says softly. Spencer grins, pressing a kiss to Parker’s forehead and holding her closer. He closes his eyes as she settles her cheek against his chest again, and as Parker’s breathing evens out, her breaths turning slow and deep, Spencer revels for the hundredth time at how happy - how lucky - he is to have her back. Before long, he’s sound asleep, too, lulled by the lazy swinging of the hammock and the quiet backdrop of crickets and coyotes in the distance, and Parker’s heartbeat against his ribs.

And as she sleeps, Parker dreams of her family, and her genius, and home .

There’s no place like home. - Author L. Frank Baum

#mine*#my writing #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x oc #drowning tw #cpr tw #cemetery tw #death mention tw #????? idk im tryna cover all my bases #fic: perchance to dream #series: vienna

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ollyarchive · 5 years ago

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My son the global pop star? Olly Alexander's mum Vicki Thornton talks about growing up gay in Gloucestershire, Gogglebox and Glastonbury

Olly Alexander's mum speaks candidly about being mother of the flamboyant Years and Years frontman

Watching Vicki Thornton on the Celebrity Gogglebox sofa it would be easy to imagine that having a famous child is an easy passport to the good life.

Every Friday night for weeks the Forest of Dean mum-of-two has been on TV sipping Prosecco while commenting on TV programmes with son Olly Alexander, the flamboyant frontman with the chart-topping band Years & Years.

On the face of it it’s been a charmed motherhood. First she watched the talented young man leave college to succeed as an actor, treading the boards as Peter Pan in a play with Judi Dench and appearing in movies such as Gulliver’s Travels, The Riot Club and Great Expectations.

Within a few years he appeared to seamlessly achieve global musical success with a chart-topping band and which led to a much applauded appearance on the Pyramid stage at Glastonbury Festival 2019. This weekend he is appearing on the same stage as Ariana Grande at Manchester Pride.

Yet anybody who follows Olly knows it’s not all been red carpet premieres, backstage passes and Gogglebox for Vicky, it’s also been about hearing uncomfortable truths about a son who has used his growing success as a platform to publicly campaign for LGBT rights.

Growing Up Gay

Not only has she had to listen to how he secretly self-harmed and developed bulimia as a closet gay teenager growing up in the Forest of Dean, but in 2017 she also bravely agreed to appear in an an emotional BBC Three documentary about how it can lead to mental health issues.

In Growing Up Gay Olly admitted that just driving home back to sleepy Coleford with the film crew stirred up such painful memories that it made him feel physically sick.

If that wasn’t difficult enough to hear, Vicki learned that Olly, who attended St John’s Cof E Primary School in Coleford and Monmouth Comprehensive, had been unable to tell anyone that he was being bullied from a young age because he had long hair and seemed gay.

“When he asked if I would do the documentary, it was a bit of a decision to make because I knew it would mean digging up the past and going further into the reasons for the problem,” said community artist Vicki.

“ I knew that having to face up to issues I was not aware of at the time was going to be a very difficult process, but if it was going to help Olly and other people in similar situations I had to do it.

“I had to be open and honest about everything which meant confronting my own feelings of guilt. You have to openly accept that you may have made some bad choices and decisions but you are human. It’s not about making excuses, it’s about learning from your mistakes.”

The documentary was so painful that the producers had Vicki assessed psychologically to make sure she could deal with the deeply personal issues it raised and arranged for her to have counselling beforehand.

Still a much watched video on iPlayer, it shows them sifting through photographs and videos of what his mum thought was a happy, innocent childhood on a beautiful part of the world.

“Going through the family history you see all these little happy, innocent little faces” said Vicky who also has an older son who has aspergers syndrome. “It’s terrible to think somebody could be hurting them.

“I think the bullying was mostly mental but when someone is full of joy and happiness and somebody else comes along and closes that down, it is the saddest thing.

“As parents you think you know what’s going on, you think that they are safe, they are happy, they are fed, all the boxes are ticked. But you don’t know the half of it.

“The little things I heard about what happened to Olly that he and his brother have talked about, are awful.”

Everyone thinks their child is amazing but I knew Olly was special

Community artist Vicki said she knew “in her bones” even before Olly, 29, was born that he would go on do great things.

“Every mother thinks that, and every child is amazing, but I knew that this child was different, there was something there,” she said.

“Olly was always a bright, funny, happy child, full of life. He was such a bouncy, lovely little cherub that I could never get cross with him, ever.

“On the rare occasion that he would throw a tantrum I would find it funny and just laugh at him. He would just stand and scream blue murder and it was just hilarious.”

Life in the Forest of Dean

Their early days were spent living near theme parks that his father promoted but in 1997 the family moved to the Forest of Dean where his parents set about creating a model village tourist attraction.

It was a musical, creative, left leaning household and although he loves Rihanna, and famously met the singer on the Graham Norton show, Olly, credits much of his influences to listening to his mother’s tapes of Nina Simone, Joni Mitchell and Stevie Wonder. She was one of the founders of the local music festival where Olly cut his teeth.

“I used to be a puppeteer actor in an education travelling theatre company in the late 1980s," said Vicky when asked about her bohemian background.

“When I was younger I was also a backing singer in a band called Innamanna. We played the Marquee in London and did some recording but when we had to decide ‘do we stick with this or carry on with our careers?’ it folded.

"But I couldn’t stand on a stage in front of thousands of people like Olly does. I would die.”

Olly as a boy

It was clear that Olly had inherited her artistic streak and although a talented gymnast and able academic, he concentrated on music and drama, later saying it was because he felt at home with the weird kids.

Vicki remembers him being very driven, open minded and very focussed.

“Olly taught himself to play the piano and to sing and there was always a healthy competition with his best friend Joe to get the best parts in the school plays,” recalled Vicki

“He was always singing all over the house. He loved Disney and he would get old song books full of the classics and teach himself on the piano.

“He did not want to be in musicals but loved the singing and performance side of it.”

I did not realise there was so much pain going on inside.

In the documentary the talented singer songwriter says that he did not have the vocabulary to put how he was feeling into words and felt too ashamed to admit it anybody he was gay. Even his mother. He desperately wanted to be straight so he never admitted it.

“On the surface he was a real high achiever so I had no idea there was so much starting to bubble up as a young teenager,” said Vicki.

“I thought the sky was the limit for him. I thought he could do anything he could put his mind to but I did not realise there was so much pain going on inside.”

“Because he was always fun happy, smiley, lovely child achieving lots of things at school, I thought things were fine.

“Probably my eye was off the ball because I was going through a lot of life changes at the time and maybe I was in denial that there was something going wrong.”

Marriage split

In an interview last year with the former Labour spin doctor Alastair Campbell, Olly says his diaries show a clear link between his father leaving and creating a “family implosion” and his mental health health issues developing around he age of 13.

They are estranged but met up when his father contacted Olly through Twitter and in subsequent interviews it’s clear the singer was less than impressed with the reality as opposed to the imagined version of an aspiring musician father who he had always wanted to impress.

“Splitting up with their dad made life a lot harder, definitely financially, and so life was a big struggle,” said Vicki.

“That’s probably part of the reason why I had my eye off the ball. I was distracted doing other things, so we were a bit dysfunctional or a while, which I feel guilty about.

“But I don’t feel guilty about that relationship ending at all, both for the boys and myself.”

Coming out

She says although from the outside it looked like Olly was enjoying a glittering lifestyle after leaving sixth form college to travel abroad filming the movie Summerhill, he was often penniless and had to take jobs such as selling hot dogs on the South Bank in between the contracts. She wasn’t in a position to help pay the rent either.

He was 18 or 19 and involved in the gay party scene in London when he plucked up the courage to pick up the phone and tell her outright that he was gay.

Vicki said: “He had said to me once ‘I don’t think you are going to have any grandchildren’. Not taking the hint, I said ‘well never say never’.

“He obviously got to the point where he thought ‘I’d better actually say it to mum because she doesn’t get it’.

“He phoned me up and said ‘you do know I am gay don’t you?’ . I said ‘Are you? OK’ and that was it really. I suppose I had a feeling he might be but maybe I didn’t want to confirm that because of fear about what his life might become because of all the homophobia out there.”

Vicky told told her elderly mother, who sang on Broadway with the D’ Oyly opera company before cutting her career short to get married and have a family.

“Her immediate reaction was ‘but he will not be able to go to Africa, it’s illegal in Africa’, laughed Vicky about her 89-year-old mother who follows her grandson avidly on social media and has even seen Years & Years in concert.

“Like me, she doesn’t want to see him marginalised because marginalised sections of society can attract a lot of negative behaviour. Nobody wants to see their nearest and dearest suffer from that.”

I just hope kids today aren’t going through the same thing

From that moment on Vicky has worried about her son being the victim of homophobia and although she is intensely proud, she still fears that being a figurehead for equality could make him a target.

“I wish he felt he could have talked to me and maybe I could have prevented all of that, but I understand that is very difficult for young people,” she said.

“I remember that feeling of not being able to talk to my parents and I just hope kids today aren’t going through the same thing. They get more support at school than they did 15 years ago but bullying and social media trolling still happens.

“I do worry about him being exposed to bigotry and homophobia. it’s not nice to think about your child living in fear.”

In an interview last year Olly was asked if he ever wanted to confront the bullies who made his life miserable growing up but he said he doesn’t think about it much any more because his life had changed so much.

He said he still takes anti-depressants, has weekly therapy sessions and works out a lot to keep his mental and physical health on track.

While campaigning for more to be done to prevent male suicide after being named as GQ Man of the Year, he admitted he still has occasional days when he doesn’t want to get out of bed because his life does not feel worth living and can be too frightened to go on stage, or cries when he comes off. He hides behind outlandish costumes and make up.

The fun side of having a famous son

It's clear that there is a close bond between mother and son and Olly likes her to share in his successes.

For instance in the early days the pop star arranged for her to wear an expensive diamond necklace to the red carpet premiere of Great Expectations in which he played Herbert Pocket.

“It was insane,” said Vicki. “ We had taxi from where he lived to the red carpet and there was all these people at the barriers.

“I thought they are going to be so disappointed when I get out because I’m no-one. Somebody took me to one side while Olly went off to meet the paparazzi and because it was raining they put a brolly over my head.

“Then we went in and watched the film which was mind-blowing because I was sat next to some of the actor’s. When it was finished we went to the after-party which was all very very glam.”

Naturally shy, Vicky was overawed to meet the likes of Jeremy Irvine, who starred in War Horse.

“I was quite overwhelmed by it all at first but I have got more relaxed about being in that kind of environment,” she said.

“The whole thing is a bit surreal really. It’s a bit like a film in itself. Once I was this close to Helen Bonham Carter who I think is fantastic, but you don’t want to go up to people saying ‘I love you’.

“Olly told me once, that when they started filming he actually said to her ‘I love you Helen Bonham Carter’ and and she said ‘I would love you too if I knew who you were’, but she later came to the stage door to congratulate him after Alice and Peter.”

More recently Vicky was overwhelmed when she was introduced the men from one of her favourite TV programmes, the Netflix series Queer Eye, at Radio One’s Big Weekend in Swansea.

“I love watching them but when Olly introduced me I didn’t know what to say and was stuck for words because I get so tongue tied,” she admitted.

Gogglebox

The star is protective of Vickyi who does not even like speaking on the stage at Coleford Music Festival but told her it was time for her to come out of her shell for Gogglebox.

“It’s different because there isn’t anybody else in the room and it’s all about Olly because that’s who they are interested in,” she said of the TV show.

“It feels really nice sitting there together eating snacks, drinking Prosecco and enjoying each other’s company, but I don’t think I have anything really interesting to say.

“You are thinking ‘should I be on my best behaviour because I’m on tele or should I be like I am at home?’. There is a little conflict going on in your head but it’s really good fun.

“It’s weird watching yourself back, seeing what you do, what you sound like and the faces you pull. I didn’t realise I pulled so many weird faces.”

Every week she has to decide on a comfortable top for sitting on the sofa and says they did initially consider getting matching onesies and really mad slippers but decided against it.

She shares TV tastes with her son who loves programmes such as Killing Eve and Stranger Things and Fleabag. They also love Gogglebox, especially Rylan Clark Neal and his mother and Chris Eubank and his son. She was delighted when Rylan sent a lovely message to Olly about her.

“If Olly likes something I will give it a go because I know I will probably like it,” she says. “I would never have watched Love Island if Olly hadn’t watched it. “

Staying true to yourself

Before the Years and Years single Communion catapulted the band into into the charts, Vicky had another important phone call from the Shine singer.

“He said they didn’t want him to say he was gay and he was really cross about it because didn’t want to pretend to be something he wasn’t” she said.

“I told him to stick to his guns, that you have to be true to yourself for anything to be real. I have taught them that if they are kind, truthful and respectful to other people, everything else will follow.”

Olly took her advice and when she first went to Glastonbury to see him burst onto the John Peel stage in 2015 wearing a rainbow, Pride suit he was involved in a very public relationship with Neil Milan from Clean Bandit who were playing the Pyramid stage.

Although in pop star mode he is happy to speak openly about his own sexuality and ongoing struggles with anxiety, Olly also admits that the fairytale of fame and fortune has not proved the antidote to depression and he remains a leading advocate for mental health issues.

In fact Gay Times described him as one of the most influential gay pop stars of this generation and added: "All hail the King!”

Glastonbury 2019

Vicky was astounded by how big it has become since the days she used to go and got lost for hours on the first night after deciding to camp for the weekend.

On Sunday Olly arranged for Vicky, her partner Kev and Coleford Mayor Nick Penny to go backstage and then watch from the Pyramid Stage balcony as he gave a widely-applauded, eloquent moving speech marking the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall riots.

Many say the speech appealing for compassion and a society that does not leave anybody behind was the highlight of the festival.

“It’s not the best view because you cannot see what’s happening from the front, but just to be there looking out from the stage and seeing all those thousands and thousands of people who are all there to see Years and Years and Olly, well it was just mesmerising,” she said.

“That whole feeling of emotion, the pride, It’s like when you see your child in a nativity play but a million times over.

“I knew he was going to make a speech and I knew that knowing Olly it was going to be special, but I did not did not know the content or when he was going to say it.

“I was just so proud and when I got home I had to watch it over and over again.”

“I cannot believe how brave and strong Olly is about what he believes in. I admire that in him so much and have so much respect for him to be able to do that.”

The feeling is mutual and Olly has repeatedly spoken about how proud he was of his mum to speak so openly about his childhood in the documentary even though she is not to blame for his troubles.

Olly takes care of his family

Although he spends long periods touring with the band, when he is in London Olly has a small set of friends from home who he has known since primary school which Vickis believes it is good for his sanity.

He recently spoke about how good it has been going from being too skint to go out to be able to help his family out financially and pay for the drinks on a night out.

Thanks to Olly buying her a new house Vicky has moved from the small cottage in the centre of Coleford where she would get the odd knock on the door from Years and Years fans pretending to be looking for a non existent neighbour.

Speaking to her it’s clear that have a famous child is not too much different than having any other. You always feel guilty, you are very proud of their achievements, you want them to happy, you worry about them being safe and you lose your name. At one festival she spotted a flag saying “Olly’s Mum”, something parents all over the world can identify with.

“As a parent I think you always feel guilty, but I’m proud that Olly has grown into this amazing human being,” says Vicki who has been on a journey alongside her famous son.

“It’s such an amazing thing to have happened that to try and get your head around it all is impossible, so you don’t bother.

“Lots of people ask about him and say things like – ‘your boy’s doing well’ and I think ‘just a bit’. On the whole though, life just carries on as normal.”

#ollyalexander #years & years #yearsandyears #2019 #palo santo #photo #vicki #olly'smum #olly's mum #mum #articles #interviews

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chac-ozai · 6 years ago

Photo

A cut straight out of a ficlet I wrote for @ryu-no-joou about Modern AU Chac’s struggle with a falling out with his best friend Teldryn.

What the hell, why not post it?

Jealousy

“Chac Ozai went from being “Single” to “In a relationship””

Teldryn scrolled passed it in a hyperactive haze, the big heart symbol beside Chac's name link caught his attention, and he scrolled up. His heart dropped, what the fuck is this? For the first time in weeks Teldryn clicked on his best friend's FB page and was amazed at what he'd missed by unfollowing him a few months ago. There where dozens of pictures of him taken by someone else, a bright smile on his face; there was some of him posing on someone's old car, of Chac climbing a tree shirtless, of him asleep on someone's couch with a giant lizard resting on his bare chest.

“Who...the...fuck.” Teldryn started to sweat, something in his heart squeezing at the sight. He was jacked up tonight, it was no different than the rest of his days lately, but the next set of pictures sent Teldryn's mind spiraling downward. Chac was hugging on a man taller than him, he had well-defined muscles and a ashen-brown mohawk. His best friend looked enamored with this unnamed person, and a fire started in Teldryn's gut.

From one picture to the next Teldryn paced up and down his apartment, Junie following him dutifully. The guy had no facebook profile, and he looked WAY older than Chac; what the fuck?! When he scrolled passed a picture of Chac kissing the rough-looking guy he saw that both Sirius and Vorstag had “liked” the image, Vorstag had a comment below- “You both look happy! I'm glad you decided to get serious.”

…..”Serious”?? How did he not know about this guy? This blatant ripoff? In a fit, Teldryn scrolled through until he found Sirius on his contacts, messaging him a long block of text after taking a screenshot of Chac kissing the stranger.

He sent it as an attachment, and underneath- “Who the fuck is this guy? I find it dsisturbing that Chac would keep this infomartion for me, how long has this been going on? I ahv been busy and so that means everyone can just cut me out of the loop? Wha'ts his name? Where did they meet? Chac must be going mad for dating a man that old. What the fuck”

Teldryn was smoking a cigarette furiously in his bathroom by the time Sirius bothered texting him back, the guy on the other end was fucking pissed and it showed clearly through the tenor of his text. Sirius wanted to complain directly to his husband but they where both at their jobs, choosing to just screenshot the incoherent text and send it to his husband. Oh, he had something to say to Tel for this.

“If you had bothered to talk to Chac at any point in the past few months you'd have known he's dating a new man. Guess what he got done with crying over your dumb ass. He's happy for the first time since YOU chose the fuckin powder over your best mate. What the fuck do you have to say anyway, you don't love him and you damn well don't want to date him. I bet youre high right now. When you're sober you won't give a shit. Leave Chac alone.”

Teldryn suddenly felt like hitting his head against something, it was a rush of energy and painful emotions that struck him deep. He was going to destroy his fancy new phone but decided to attempt a coherent text back, threateningly.

“Give me his name. What's his fucking name.”

Sirius got nervous. Teldryn had been very unstable the last he saw him and he hated the idea of him getting involved in Chac's love life again. “Why, Teldryn? Planning on committing a murder? You jealous Chac isnt crying over you anymore?”

Teldryn never sent a text back. Sirius was irrationally worried and had projected these ideas to Vorstag, wanting to find a way to keep Chac safe. Neither of them knew the proper route to take, and for the married couple Teldryn had once again seemed to disappear from their lives. Months went by.

Chac was filled with an energy he hadn't known in a long time; music flowed from him at his live show like it had been once when he was inspired by love. He felt as if it was back to the way it was, his eyes bright and shining for the crowd of fans who had rejoiced the return of their local musician. Chac was offered a drink by a fan and he sipped at it, a high five going out to the fan who had long sought his return. These early summer months, warmth on the breeze and music in his heart, Chac was feeling perfect right where he was.

“I've been working on a song for a little while now, It's my first time trying it out but I want to dedicate it to someone very important to me in the audience somewhere. He doesn't know I've been working on this, but you know who you are and I guarantee every word in it's for you, babe.” Chac got comfortable on his stool and prepped his violin, tapping his foot on a variety of pedals until a long came to life. He scanned the crowd and saw Gage was sitting by himself with a worried smile on his face.

What was that boy planning? Porter thought to himself. Chac swayed as he began to play his violin, coming to life in a dramatic Orbison vibe.

“Walking, spend a lot of time walking

That's what people do, getting over you

Smiling, did you see me smiling?

The whole act's just for you

What else can I do?

People say I'm better off alone, So I'm trying, trying, trying

Oh please, if you see me cry

I apologize, I'm a little crazy, crazy crazy”

Gage had no idea what to do with himself, tears welled up in his eyes before he even had a chance to man up. He picked up his shirt and covered his nose and his mouth, eyes locked with Chac's. He knows they've had a rough patch, but the soul that Chac's voice projected towards him was too much to bear. Chac's singing mouth was smiling as he saw Gage crying like a baby in that corner, could see his big strong boyfriend reduced to a puddle by the sound of his voice.

“Please, if you change your mind

I won't change mine

So i'm trying trying trying

I'm on my knees, I'm on my knees!

I know you're over me

and it's driving me crazy, crazy, crazy”

These lyrics where meant for him. Every word Chac cried out was a direct message from his heart to the Dunmer's. Teldryn was sure of this as he watched from far away enough that the musician wouldn't see him.Was this what he was doing, calling out in a fit of passion to him week after week at these shows, and Teldryn hadn't been there to hear it? Not sober but coming down, Teldryn's mohawk cruised through the crowds of young people like a shark's fin as he flanked the stage. He was looking for a better view, but was pushed to the back as the song crescendos into nothingness, followed by a roar of applause.

“Thank you. That was a rough one.” Chac placed his violin down and opened his arms up, walking through the crowd and towards the lonely table where Gage sat wiping up his tears. Teldryn's hawk eyes locked on the sight of Chac going to hug the man he'd seen in the pictures and despised. The older man had his face buried into Chac's shoulder, both of their arms looped around each other and hugging tightly. For the first time, Gage wasn't ashamed of the public display; he was however..ashamed of everything else.

“I'm sorry, baby.” Gage choked out, his voice ragged.

“I forgive you. Love you.” Chac kissed his right eyelid and left for the stage again, his heart feeling renewed.

Teldryn could have killed the man with his glare. From a dozen paces back and over a sea of shorter folk, Teldryn glowered at the man Chac claimed to be in a relationship with. Charlatan! He receded into the depths and got another drink to calm his nerves, listening to Chac fall back on the old songs he used to listen to every weekend night in the past.

People recognized him there, and that was obviously so- Teldryn was at almost every single show Chac performed in the past years, only recently having given up his place as his helper. He thought about the lyrics Chac sang out, begging for a change of heart..that he wasn't over him. Fuck that being about what's-his-face over there, that big crybaby. Teldryn's heart shook in his chest at the memories of these concerts, how Chac had promised Teldryn once upon a time that every love song had Teldryn at it's center.

The concert was over before Teldryn could decide what to do with himself; he was a few drinks in and had just enough chutzpah to make his entrance; yes. He came here for a reason and that was to see Chac, screw the other guy being there. Chac made his grand exit speech and was folding up his equipment with the help of Gage when Teldryn fixed his lapels and strode up to the scene.

“Just when I thought I'd never see you again,” Teldryn spoke, his voice proud and so unique. “Fabulous performance, Chac. As always.”

Both men turned from their work to look at the tall Dunmer, Chac's every feature went stark with shock-

“Teldryn! Holy shit, since when have you been back?!” Chac felt awkward but opened his arms for the hug that Teldryn went for, stunning red eyes casting a quick glare at the older man beside them.

“Not long, not long.” Teldryn sighed, holding onto that hug long enough to raise an eyebrow. “Couldn't come back home and not say hi!”

Chac pulled away and looked to Gage immediately, who wasn't smiling but looking at the very gay-looking Dunmer with a mysterious expression. “So, uh, Teldryn. This is my ...friend, PG.” He stammers, opening a palm towards Gage.

Obviously, Gage wasn't going to touch him. He did a nod, his features dark. “Feel like I've seen'ya around.” Gage comments, Teldryn chilled to think that Chac was dating a southern guy.

“..Uh, Teldryn is featured in a lot of the advertisements around Times Square..maybe that's it.”

“Come now, Chac. Don't introduce me like that. How do you do,” Teldryn extended his hand, glaring at Gage- “Chac and I go miles back. He's my best friend.”

“Huh.” Gage reached out and practically crushed Tel's hand in his own “Best friend? Strange, I haven't heard of you at all since the time I've been dating Chac.”

“...dating?” Teldryn feigned surprise, he slapped Chac on the back and the musician was utterly red-faced. “Well there's a twist and a half! Why don't I buy you two a drink and maybe we can do a spot of catching up?”

Chac was so torn, he hadn't seen Teldryn in person for so long he'd forgotten how he looked, how the very air that clung around him seemed to just be so taken by his presence. Gage had noticed it too, he was glowering at the thought of this dandy stranger wanting to reconnect with Chac. What was going on here?

Chac was going to say no. He should have, but by god when Teldryn looked at him with a smile that could warm hell over, he couldn't help but say yes. “Yeah, I'd like that. PG, how about you? Do you mind?”

Hell yeah, he minded. Porter had a killer headache kicking in from all the tears he'd shed before, but now he had to sit around and keep Chac happy while he caught up with this supermodel?”

The three of them sat down, Chac in the middle with his drink. Porter immediately went to scan his phone, he wasn't looking at anything in particular but he'd be damned if he wasn't listening to every little thing the two of them shared. Chac held Gage's hand, but everything else was affixed to Teldryn as he told a grand story about Hollywood.

“-and then I opened the door to the set medic and saw him trying to fish the shoe out of his ass before the director came back from break.”

“PPFTTT HAHAHA!” Chac howled, hard enough to spill his damn drink on his knee. Teldryn seemed so kind to offer him a napkin before Gage could reach them, Chac reaching up and wiping a tiny tear away from his eye. Teldryn was making him laugh nonstop, maybe it was the anxiety of finally seeing Tel again or just forgetting how fucking hilarious he always was, but he could not get himself to stop giggling. Long minutes went by before the bar was closing up, and Teldryn had exactly what he wanted.

“Well it was bloody grand to see you again, I'm home for good so if you're in the area...”

“Yeah, Tel. That sounds good. Maybe we can chill with Sirius and Vorstag again, get the whole gang together.”

“Whatever you want.” Tel went in and did it, he gave Chac a kiss on the cheek before heading off, Gage staring daggers at the beautiful Dunmer as he left the bar. They still had more packing to do and Porter was simply floored by what just happened; Chac was never like that until tonight. A giggling, soppy mess.

“Known each other long, I take it.”

“uh..Yeah, 7 years. He's been in and out of the friend group as of late, last I heard of him he was doing commercials in Hollywood.”

“Yup, heard that. He mentioned it maybe 5 times. You guys ever...ya know, date?”

Chac could immediately see where Gage was coming from after that comment. Shit, was he really that giddy around Teldryn?

“No! No, he's straight. I think he's dating a Nigerian model right now.”

“Hell, He coulda fooled me.” Gage didn't feel his heart hurt any less by the statement, but he kept it down.

“Yeah, people say that. He's just uh, very British...um, enough about him, eh? Let's get back home and get to sleep.”

“Uh huh. You're the boss.” Gage said flatly. He had some digging to do tonight, even if it meant making a dumb FB profile to do it.

#my gay art #Porter Gage #Chac Ozai #Chacozai #modern AU #FO4 #Teldryn Sero #fanfic

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