#lmaoooooo can I stop

[jmkho]

[jils-things]

MY JOB IS DONE HERE GOODNIGHT EVERYONE IM SLEEPING

[eclaire-went-bam]

left side of my body is useless. nearsighted in left eye. need hearing aid in left ear. hurts to move my fingers in certain ways on my left hand. constantly falling over to my left side. left eye opens veeeery slightly less than my right. constant spasms/tics/twitches/WHATEVER they are on the left side of my neck down to my left hand. tremours usually just on the left side of my body (but there are exceptions to this one 🤩)

like cmon

[todayisafridaynight]

aoki has been my blorbo in law for *counts on fingers* like 5 months i think but the other day he rapidly became MY blorbo and the worst thing ever has happened i cannot draw him..its a curse i have had for years (cant draw blorbo perfectly on the first try or 2nd or 3rd but can on the 17 trillionth) and im soooo mad bc i wanna draw him right now and not later but cannot rage rage rage rage

cant believe you stole your homie's blorbo in the divorce 😭

[bornforastorm]

loooooove telling my parents they have given me a difficult relationship with money as well as an anxiety disorder and for them to come back and say it’s my fault actually!!!

[scitty]

It is literally not ok to claim you're ace when you aren't. Just cope with being a basic white girl. Stop wearing other people's sexualities like accessories.

I want to study your brain but like. in a mean way

also thanks for misgendering me and invalidating my identity thatll make me listen to you yep. goodbye presses the block button

[evilwizard]

🌈 ella-m-agnetism Follow

magnets, electricity, and light? everyone knows im the best. i probably don’t even need those other girls 😘

🌑 gravity-schmavity Follow

for fuck’s sake ella not this again. i literally trapped you in a black hole just last week

🤹‍♀️ strongerthanyou Follow

y’all, can we not do this in public? this is getting embarrassing

☢️ weakdayfreakday Follow

rip her wavelengths off bitch

163,455 notes

🧬 d-n-acidtrip Follow

did you guys hear the Fundamental Four might be breaking up? they are soo messy lol

🍬 adena-signed-triphosphate Follow

LMAOOOOOO YOU SAID IT NOT ME. BUT I SOOOO AGREE😭 DO YOU THINK THEY’LL NEED A NEW MEMBER? OMG WE SHOULD APPLY!!!!!!!!

🧬 d-n-acidtrip Follow

girl you are coming at me with a lot of energy rn

17 notes

🔬 chrispr-cas9 Follow

@d-n-acidtrip respond to my dms. unblock me. please please please please please please please please

🔗 gene-o-type Follow

you need to stop this man. she chose me

🔬 chrispr-cas9 Follow

can’t we share

3 notes

⏳ enter-entropy Follow

UCU is the worst. all my classes are taught by weird old men. the cosmic microwave in the dining hall barely heats the food. it fucking sucks here

🧠 e-equals-mc-crazy-haired Follow

Please, watch your language.

⏳ enter-entropy Follow

stfu old man im top of my class at Universe City University and i can say what i want

🧠 e-equals-mc-crazy-haired Follow

And I am Albert Einstein, the Dean of Students at UCU.

⏳ enter-entropy Follow

im sorry sir

22,158 notes

🌎 terra-firma Follow

@secretplanet9 where are you

❔secretplanet9 Follow

i’ll never tell 😉

🌎 terra-firma Follow

omg guys!!!! @mercuryinaflurry @venusflytrap @unmarredmars @jupiterisntstupider @ringleader6 @stoppronouncingitlikethat @listentomyneptunes

we got a response!!! planet 9 we will find you!!!!!! ✨💕

🪐 ringleader6 Follow

omg yessssss

🧊pluto-all-alone Follow

can you guys not do this right in front of me

[vivwritesfics]

Okay so smut

What about reader over hears other drivers talking shit about their bf (max, pato or liam)

Basically saying that he can't have any good games caue they have shared a wall between them and the driver and was saying how the driver can't please their lady

Now revenge

Letdriver know about ia and be fucked in a semi public space where they can really hear it

Hopefully anything makes sens elol

Love you

Yeah lol I picked none of those drivers lmaoooooo

Warnings: smut, fingering, p in v

"The man has no moves," she heard Lando say to Oscar. It wasn't a conversation she was meant to be there for. But now she was desperate to know who they were talking about.

Oscar let out a laugh. "So, you heard him, but you never heard her?"

"No, Carlos could never make her cum, I swear," he replied.

Oh. Now, that was just bullshit.

Giggling behind her hand, she took off to find her boyfriend. Now, heres the thing you have to know about Carlos Sainz. He doesn't take this shit lightly.

So when she told him, he knew he had to do something about it.

Carlos made sure the door was open just a bit. And then he had his hands up her skirt, pulling her underwear down over her ass. "Can't make you cum, huh?" He growled as he pressed his lips to hers.

A whimper left her lips as he squeezed at her flesh. But then he ran his fingers through her folds. A cry left her lips as he breached her hole, pushed his finger inside of her.

Carlos knew exactly how to make her see stars. He ground his palm against her clit as she began moving herself against her fingers.

Her first orgasm came from his fingers. He heard Lando and Oscar fall quiet when they heard it.

But Carlos wasn't done.

He freed himself from his jeans and pulled her onto his cock. The cry that left her lips once he was fully sheathed inside of her. But it wasn't long before Carlos had her bouncing on his cock, lips against her neck.

A string of cries left her lips. The boys in the other room were fully silent now, not making a peep. Good, listen, Carlos thought.

She came around him pretty quickly, clenching around him. Her cries and moans were so goddamn loud, Carlos couldn't stop but grin as he spilled inside of her.

Nobody made any such comment again.

[eydi-andrius]

Sore Loser (Love and Deepspace Characters x F!Reader)

Synopsis: After a very shitty day, you thought playing Kitty Cards with him will make your day better.

A/N: Girl, I hate this damn game. Lmaoooooo!

🗡️ Xavier 🗡️

Xavier didn't mean anything from it. He was just playing by the rules of the game, using his advance cards to parry and block your attempt to stop him from freezing your turn, four times by now. He was so focused on the game that he did not notice how your face became harder, and your eyes stared coldly at the board, now filled mostly with Xavier’s number cards. His kitties were cheering for him, and you watched helplessly as your kitties cried from defeat.

“That was a good game.” Xavier smiled to himself, as he saw how the game ended beautifully for him. He saved up as many good advance cards and used them at the right moment. He was so proud of himself and he can't wait to see your face. You usually analyze how he won, and take notes of what you did wrong. However, when he looked up, his joyous face turned down, and his heartbeat quickened when he saw how cold and mad you were. Your anger wasn't directed at him, instead, you were staring at the board coldly. But he knew at that time, he fucked up.

“I’m tired of this stupid game.” The chair scraped the floor, as you stood up so fast and grabbed your coat, placed atop the top rail.

“Hey wait!” He tried to stop you from walking out but he accidentally bumped into the board, almost toppling the cups and kitties over. In panic, he tried to support the wobbling table, and sighed with relief when it stopped shaking. He tried to find you afterwards, but he lost sight of you.

It has been two days, and as his partner hunter, it shouldn't be impossible for you to meet, but you must have been so mad because whenever he asks of you, you decline his calls and only reply in messages as promptly and professionally as an HR. He tried looking for you on your table, but most of the time, you were out or doing something else, whenever he came over. He was about to give up apologizing and accept his fate that he pissed you off at a game, so bad, you decided to cut him off, when Jenna ordered all the alpha team to meet at the unicorns headquarters for a debrief.

And he was right, you were there, but you were sitting in between two hunters he knew nothing about. He wasn't listening at all, he can always check on the information later, but he was afraid that if you manage to sneak out again this time, your relationship will fall apart and he doesn't like the sound of it, even when it wasn't going to happen because he will make sure of it.

“Let’s talk.” Before you can even stand up from where you were sitting, Xavier immediately moves over in front of you, calling your attention in front of the other hunters, making you unable to turn him down.

“Sorry. I should have known you were playing to enjoy that day. I didn't mean to make you mad. I will make sure to be more sensitive in the future about your needs. I know I can be slow at times, sometimes emotionless, but I don't want to repeat the same mistake and lose your company over a silly game.” Xavier started right after the door closed, leaving the two of you alone together. He looks tired. There were visible dark bags right under his eyes. He must have been torturing himself after you gave him the cold shoulder.

You feel silly now. You were not mad at Xavier for winning. It was just a shitty day and you were just looking forward to having a good day and resting with Xavier at your side, when it seems like even the Kitty Cards were against you. Xavier keeps on getting good cards, and you keep getting the most useless advance and number cards. You sighed and closed your eyes. You shouldn't have run away from him. Now, you made it worse and made him feel like he should tiptoe around your mood, instead of enjoying each other's company in your free time.

“Please, don't. It wasn't like that. I was just annoyed about my day at that time and losing was the final straw for me. I’m sorry that I made you feel like that for days. But I wasn't sure how to confront you, especially when I was just acting like a sore loser. Have you not been sleeping well? You have a bag under your eyes.” Worried, you cupped his cheek and moved his face closer to yours, inspecting and noticing how his face looks paler, dry, and tired.

Instead of saying anything, he hums at your touch, and he moves forward, resting his head on your lap.

“Let me take a little sleep. I miss you.” He said before dozing off, and you stroked his hair while he slept.

❄️ Zayne ❄️

Zayne is bad at playing the Kitty Cards game. Due to his fatigue, sometimes he mistook some colors as the same, making his turn score nothing. But today was a bit different. Zayne keeps on winning, and he keeps on using advanced cards that will be fatal on your turn. He steals your advance cards, takes away your good number cards, and freezes your turn. Meanwhile, you keep on getting advanced cards that mean nothing when you have no good cards at hand.

“I win again, huh.” It was obvious that Zayne didn't mean anything from that, other than him wondering why he won again. But maybe you're already at your limit and hearing that made you snap.

“Well good for you. I’m going home.” It was all you have told him before you left him dumbfounded on his seat, leaving him alone at the cafe.

Whatever you did back there was just embarrassing. It was just a game but you took it personally. You're not going to wonder if Zayne refuses to talk to you now, other than being your physician, after that embarrassing display of attitude when you lose. You're not even sure how you're going to talk to him today.

It's your physical exam and it's been two days since you always kept him on read or only replies with emoji. You have to toughen up and apologize. Zayne did not deserve being treated that way.

Upon opening the door to his office, you breathed in, swallowing all the courage you needed. You walked towards the chair and sat in front of him. He was busy typing whatever on his computer, but you know, he already glimpsed on your way, because you felt his heavy stare for a second, before it went back to his task at hand. It didn't take long when he finished and stared you down. It was so awkward and it was at this moment, where you wished to be swallowed down by the earth and be gone. You gulped and opened your mouth to apologize when he started talking first.

“You didn't tell me you were injured that day.” You shivered at the icy tone in his voice. Just like his evol, Zayne can also be cold and scary. He didn't even need for you to emphasize on what he just said, because you already knew what he was talking about. A wanderer caught you off guard hours before meeting Zayne and it scratched your arm. The wound is not that deep, and you already put first aid on it so you never thought about it much, until the small wound did not heal as fast, and almost gave you a fever when it deepens. You realize now that it was the guilt of keeping you're injured to Zayne, and also, being a sore loser from the pain.

“It was very small. I don't want to bother you on your day off so….I kept it.” You squeak, when he glared at you, for being nonchalant about it.

“I don't care if it was my day off. It was my duty to take care of you. I hate it when you lie to me about being fine, when you know too well I can help you.” He continued scolding you, as he inspected the scarring wound, and offensively stared at it.

“I’m really sorry.” Was your only answer, to both, hiding your wound from him and to him receiving the burnt of your pain.

“Also, you can always ask me to switch our cards. I don't mind.” Zayne added as he patched you up.

🧜🏻‍♂️ Rafayel 🧜🏻‍♂️

Rafayel is the ultimate king of petty.

You already know that right from the start but nothing prepares you for the way he massacres you from the game Kitty Cards.

During at the last hurrah of your showdown, Rafayel finally revealed his advance cards, he uses freeze to stop you from playing, uses advance cards that will turn your cup scores into one, kicking out your highest score kitties from the colored cups, and replacing it with his, stealing your deny cards, and using it against you. It was so bad, that on the inside, you felt your blood boil on how cruel it was. If he did it the first time, you would be proud of him, but he’s been winning all the rounds, and every time, it ends up with him brutally winning. His wins hit a nerve and you finally snapped.

“Ha! Please don't cry. Losing isn't that bad.” He said proudly, as Rafayel nodded to himself. He loves teasing you and he enjoys your banter together. He knows at this point, teasing each other is a form of bonding.

He was celebrating his win when he noticed how quiet you were. When he opened his eyes, the smug look on his face dropped and he stopped in his tracks. The look on your face was devastating and he never saw that before. Your scrunched up face, eyes filled with upcoming tears. When both of your eyes met, there seemed like a switch in you, that made you burst into tears. Rafayel, who doesn't know how to handle your outburst, tries his best to console you. But he did not expect that you were still mad at him, so when he tried to hug you, you pushed him away and ran.

Since then, you have refused to reply to his texts. You even muted his calls so you won't have to answer it. Whatever you did that day was so embarrassing that you’d rather sever whatever relationship you have with Rafayel instead of relieving how sore loser you were. It was just a game, and you cried like a baby from it. There were times that you're trying to justify your tears by saying maybe Rafayel’s insults were too much that day, and it was the reason why you burst into tears, but there would be nothing so petty as pushing someone away and running due to losing from a board game.

Sighing, you just accepted that Rafayel will probably stop talking to you. It is what it is as you continue to go on with your day, when your phone blares and a notification about Rafayel being in danger popped up in bold letters. You did not hesitate as you rode your bike and flew to Rafayel’s whereabouts.

You burst through his studio door, and your eyes caught his figure slumped on the floor, leaning to his couch.

“What happened? Are you okay? Did you slip on your paint brushes again?” You asked worriedly, as you touched his shoulder, arms and legs, to see if he injured himself again. You were so worried and kept asking many questions that were meant silently, you were about to unleash the hulk at him for not answering, when you stopped on your tracks when you noticed the frown on his forehead and his glare.

“Really? Do I have to injure myself so you can notice me?” He bit down and you whimpered, not from his anger but from guilt.

“Sorry.” You apologized. You look down and twiddle your thumbs, not knowing how to dissipate the awkwardness of the situation and Rafayel’s glare.

It took a moment before you hear Rafayel’s sigh in defeat and open his mouth to talk again.

“You could have just asked me, and I will allow you to cheat by putting my kitties in different cups, or even by replacing my advance cards. All you have to do is say please.” He continued, exasperated.

All you can do is look down in shame and murmur an apology for acting so childish.

“Just….. don’t ignore me again like that, please. It doesn't feel good when the most important person in your life suddenly stops talking to you.” He added, his voice quivered a bit and you wince when you realize how your action affected him. Opening up his old wounds.

“I’m really sorry, Rafayel. I promise to be better next time.” A silence falls between you again. It took a moment before you realize despite how mad he was, he refuses to move his left hand. The air of guilt slowly turned into worry again.

“Did you injure your left hand?” You asked worriedly and slowly touched his left hand when he flinched and gritted his teeth from the pain.

“Probably sprain it when I fell.”

“You fell!?”

“It's fine, Ms. Bodyguard. I bet it will heal tomorrow. Just feed me for now.” He chuckled at your worried face and you watched him move his left hand with no worry, following your reaction from it. You just shake your head at how silly that was, and was so happy he was okay, before you stood up, helped him up, and treated him like a prince just for today.

[wisteriainslumber]

twst characters in a haunted house

its a short headcanon this time but its spooky season yayaayyayay!

warnings: cussing 👍 

Ace

talks a big game saying hes not scared, gets the daylights scared out of him, then goes back to talking a big game

he likes to tease his friends by abruptly grabbing them to scare them, but only teases yuu by saying 'if you're scared, you can hold onto me~' because hes a massive loser with a crush

you wouldn't even notice it but if you look closely his hands are shaking and he keeps looking around the room

arguably hes one of the most terrified one in the room so our unbothered king, yuu, just stands by his side out of sympathy

Deuce

close to tears and his last resort was complimenting a zombie's sfx makeup in hopes the Seven are on his side

probably looked like he was going to piss himself so the zombie 'helped' them out by chasing them until they stopped running in circles like headless chickens

flight or fight instinct goes haywire

it's either 'no means no!' or 'chase me i dare you!' and it solely depends on whether or not there are people in his group more afraid than him

because he will absolutely protect his loved ones awww

Jack

designated 'protector' of the first years (?)

its mostly self proclaimed but he is actually the most scared of the bunch

his ears pick up on EVERY little thing so he hears screams from all the other groups in the house

and that is unnerving!!

hes got a pretty good poker face but his ears and tail are standing up on end. and his tail is REALLY fluffed in agitation

height disadvantage. many dangly things getting caught in his hair and ears and tail. if he runs too fast and forgets to bend down, he's getting his head hit.

grim clung onto jack's tail after a bad scare and since then, has been jack's accessory

Epel

lost a bet and now he has to hold ace's hand throughout the house (let's be honest, this is for the safety of everyone else. its only the fight instinct for our poison apple)

sings random pop songs with ace for him to feel less scared because 1. epel likes his friends and 2. this is the only time he's allowed to be off-key for giggles

loves karma. when ace tries to scare him, epel will simply let go and carry on without ace until he apologizes

everyone and he means EVERYONE can catch these fists

'these arent screams these are battle cries'

creates new profanity out of freight. but he's always at the front of the group (so brave)

Ortho

literally taking notes throughout the haunt

intrigued, kinda wants to recreate it in a VR so his friends can experience it again

except when he does recreate it is literally SO much worse in terms of horror level

because he really does make it feel like the hunger games. its not even a game of survival its a battle of attrition

it gives everyone such a freight

but thats the point isnt it? he just found parts that could be improved on

like, the actors should be given chainsaws so the run for your life can feel more exhilarating!

and the rest of the doors should be removed so the players can use their problem solving skills to get to the one remaining door!

it does not get very popular sjdfjkgihuoij

Sebek

unbelievable that he cannot bring his baton but whatever

putting his life on the line to defend his friends

not because he cares, smh, he could live without their company! but fewer students in NRC would mean that lord malleus couldn't get the true school experience!

big brain moment (advice from lilia) he wore a scary costume in hopes that he scares the actors off before they scare him (he uses the cape to evade)

his body is on auto pilot and he knows what to do, but if you look at his face for too long, this dude is pissing himself silly

he did have a brave moment, though. he said a polite 'hello' to a vampire before demanding them to stop screaming so he could concentrate. slayed

Yuu & Grim

LMAOOOOOO scared?? *them*??? after all they've seen?

literally so unphased

in fact, since they live with ghosts in ramshackle, they might slink off somewhere and reappear alongside the actors to scare their friends

grim pees himself but denies it

in fact grim is like the first one to notice that yuu was not by his side

by the time they make it out of the house, they know all the actors by name???

yuu likes to offer bits of their hair as sacrifice if the actors leave them alone (sometimes they even offer grims fur)

the actors all look so sad to see yuu go??? favourtism smh

you know damn well yuu's getting a job offer for the house here. they'll even invite the rest of their friends to dress up and set them loose upon the haunted manor

Riddle

i would love to say he gets his brain rattled from fear but that is so not true

a childhood of seeing various floating, seemingly severed, limbs thanks to a certain che'nya has rewired his freight system

'its not scary because i know we're in a simulated situation. the actors are fake, the props are fake, the-' you get the jist

startled when something jumps in front of his face and gets mad when his group laughs at him

the actors are kinda scared of *him* because they interrupted him while he was in the middle of a long explanation and that was very rude!!! >:( come back after he's finished, thank you!

Ruggie

RUN LIKE THE WIND

he compliments all the props in the midst of the scare and chaos, who would notice something missing, fr?

a masked murderer would be crawling out of the closet and ruggie would casually ask them about the material the spoons were made of

his strength comes in when he's accidentally(?) sacrificing riddle to the haunters so he'll live

halfassingly playing smash or pass with jade aka jade says smash to everyone and ruggie questions the logistics of his every choice

accidentally remarks how the smell reminded him of his home growing up and doesnt that open a can of worms

Azul

joins ruggie in asking about the material of the spoons, except he's weirdly enthusiastic about it

also takes notes on the atmosphere and decorations

cant take the scare, his brain fizzles out and his muscle memory shakes the hands of the haunters (introducing himself was entirely intentional, however)

biggest loser in terms of he tries to huddle up to EVERYONE for 'safety' purposes. buddy-buddy system duhh

(he's the first to hide under a chair)

Jade

mean girl who flashes her teeth at people then covers his mouth acting like he didnt expose that he could tear out anyones jugular without struggle (he is holding back a coughing fit from the dust)

having such a calm, serene smile the entire time

its as if hes taking a casual stroll

'oh hello there. mind if i borrow this? thanks.' and steals the prop axe from the actors

whether he chooses to chase them back or not solely depends on his whims that day but he becomes a bigger menace because hes smiling with sharp teeth AND holding an axe

Floyd

screams back at the scare actors just Because

doesnt actually register theyre trying to scare them with their screams 'cause?? lmao thats not how u scare people let him teach you-

likes to lurk in the dim lighting to scare other patrons like if he was the one on the job and not paying for the experience

likes to drag out every single actor when riddle's speaking and egg him to behead them all

evil friend who hums in the dark just to get on your nerves

Kalim

screams, then laughs like a good sport about it. you got him good!!

trick or treating is everywhere and this haunted manor is full of tricks! do they get candy after though?

he tries his best to link arms with the actors and chat with them, even if he receives groans and scripted threats in response

he invites the entire cast over to Asim palace because he thinks his siblings would like to experience it (awww)

never worry about losing kalim in the house because he's belled like a cat, so just listen for the jingles of his movement

Jamil

is there really anything scarier than being alive to this guy

he really doesn't appreciate the cobwebs strung up everywhere

nor does he appreciate the sensation of anything brushing on his skin because it makes him feel itchy

the only time theres a reaction from him is if fake blood gets on his own or kalim's clothes because bitch. he will be the one cleaning that so you better fucking not.

the responsible one that keeps azul's glasses safe. not because azul hands them over himself but because silver asked him to (something along the lines of jamil being the kind of person that would ensure personal belongings stay safe or some other ego boosting shit. yeah, it worked slightly, what of it?)

Silver

desensitized to horror

the only time he appreciates the halloweens spent in childhood wetting his bed because of lilia's (psychologically harmful) pranks

if lilia's scares were a 10, this haunted house is like a 3

he proclaims himself as azul's bodyguard and always seeks his hand out so azul can feel a bit safer to go on

silver will also be the first one to locate the emergency exits as well as accompany anyone who needs to tap out (we dont deserve him <3)

Trey

same as riddle except hes even more unphased

in the same year as che'nya and they were together for much more and much longer

and they go beyond just his floating limbs, because he made half of trey disappear into, well, somewhere

che'nya complained about not being able to find his left pinky finger for WEEKS

he accepts like one, maybe two people clinging onto him but more than that and hes kindly telling you to suck it up bc its getting inconvenient to move

sorry 🤷 uh, exposure therapy ig

Cater

managed to sneak his phone in even though no phones were allowed just to film everything

he used a flashlight and still managed to hide his phone (he's able to outrun them, but his screaming instantly puts a beacon on him)

screaming for the life of him but he will never ever EVER forget to do a peace sign for the cams

will constantly ask how the actors managed to make the makeup so realistic and starts handing out friendship bracelets (he made too many with kalim one time with no one to give them to)

those clips of people getting chased in haunted houses then going to hug them is so cater-core (enforcing reverse psychology)

Leona

also pretends he's not affected and sells it very well

he reminds himself that these are props and stuff

he can see much more in the dark, but if you pay attention during a scare, you'd see a visible shiver go up his tail

its gone as soon as you blink though

regularly has a RBF and glares at the actors as if they've wronged him somehow

also an evil friend that will sacrifice you to the scare actors but more than that, he will sacrifice your children and tease them (waving bye bye with a smile and walking away). if only it scared cheka more and not make him laugh and declare he'll protect unca

Vil

plays along because its good to respect the work the actors and staff put into making this experience

still he thinks the sfx blood on the walls couldve benefited from a bit more time assembling

shamefully and accidentally cusses loudly in a moment of freight and apologizes profusely to the actor

taunting leona & telling the haunters to search for him bc he tripped and his ring accidentally snagged vil's hair (petty)

only time vil screams is when he misses a step and thought he was gonna go tumbling. idia laughed at him.

Rook

he chases the actors back

he's all giggly about it too

when hes run out of actors to chase after, he'll start nominating one member of their group to be hunted for sport

another one of the dresses up squad, except he uses it to camouflage himself with the actors

touches everything like this is just a fun little stroll for him

him and trey are having a casual conversation trying to guess the era this ancient candelabra originated from and the background noise is provided by idia sobbing and crying for dear life (leona is trying to sacrifice him)

Idia

somehow both bragging about how fake everything is whilst also cowering behind malleus and screaming the loudest out of the third years

says whatever comes to mind in a panic. no one knows wtf idias aim is. everyone is confused. the art of misdirection, everyone

god forbid he sees a ghost because he freezes out of pure instinct and you'll have to drag or carry him if you need him to move (rip ghost marriage idia)

makes fun of the buff monster costumes because LOLOL LMAOAOA you think thats supposed to scare him??? try harder

no survivial instinct. doesnt run. at all. if he's scared, he's giving up, this is his grave.

Malleus

doesn't get the concept at all

and not in the 'what is so scary about this place' way its more of a 'but the architecture is so magnificent, a little tweaks can get it restored to its former glory'

straight up snatches the floating ghost doll not knowing (or caring..???) that it was decor and rocks it throughout the entire house. does he think its unjustly cursed or does it remind him of silver? who knows

he really likes the aesthetic of the haunted house and everyone that tries to scare *him* are immediately in his good graces. he laughs all evil-like too and scares everyone but dw he's having fun i promise

normal people fall to the floor in haunted houses

malleus falls in love *ew*

Lilia

not that idia needed more reasons to be frightened but lilia fans the fire

shares a rumour about a clown doll that got abandoned so now it hunts people in retribution and of course there's an actor dressed like a killer clown there yk

throwing some bs about how 'oh no, i hope theres not a tall, scary, killer after us with an axe' and when said killer shows up, lilia starts screaming and pulling horrific scary faces at them (the staff leave him tf alone after this interaction)

and if hes feeling particularly mean he'll slink off into the shadows to reappear like a little jumpscare (cmon lilia, you're gonna have to do idias laundry now)

also chills on the ceiling after a chaotic run-in just to give his group some panic when they lose lilia (minus vil & leona, they know better than to worry about lilia's well-being— he's been adjusting too well here)

[11queensupreme11]

Ok but like now I'm obsess with Cu Chulainn in pjo, like I imagine him being somehow transported to the pjo world like Percy, apearing in the human world and ending up meeting Percy before the lighting thief (which means she's younger than twelve so a bit 👨‍✈️) and staying with her because he can sense she is a demigod so the only lead he has to the divine world, of course they would both hate it because "you're disgusting" "who the fuck even are you" somehow, it still works and he inserts himself into the story falling for Percy and being bro-zoned by her. The gods of course don't care, they are not racist, they don't give a crap about any demigod in equal measure, and so after Gaia, he finally finds a way back into the ror verse and drags Percy kicking and screaming to his suposed happy ending.

Only for the other yanderes to become yanderes

this is gonna be cu chulainn 90% of the time when he's babysitting and falling in love with percy:

he's so fed up with her danger-prone ass like "bitch STAY STILL FOR ONCE!!!! STOP FUCKING SNEAKING OUT OF CAMP AND GETTING SUCKED INTO DANGEROUS QUESTS! NO YOU WILL NOT BE THE CHILD OF THE PROPHECY IM GETTING OUR ASSES OUT HERE FUCK THIS STUPID UNIVERSE"

but whoops, she's the child of the great prophecy and get this, THERE'S ANOTHER GREAT PROPHECY LMAOOOOO

cu chulainn after finding out there's another great prophecy centered around percy's stupid ass and he has to go through this AGAIN:

i also can't stop thinking about him being brother-zoned, i feel like he would actually lose his fucking shit if that ever happened. like imagine being transferred to another universe with shitty ass gods and weird stupid rules that everyone has to follow (and he's considered an outer god so we all know he HATES rules), babysitting this adorably feral demigod child, living with her, being raised alongside her, falling in love with her and constantly having to protect her because EVERYONE WANTS HER DEAD, and then after all that........

she brother-zones you 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

like you can't even blame percy because she grew up with this guy so OF COURSE she sees him as a big bro, BUT LMAOOOOOO SUCKS FOR CU CHULAINN WHAT A LEWSER 😂 he's just getting Ls after Ls in this universe 😂 i'm surprised he hasn't ripped his hair out at this point 😂😂😂

AND THEN.... he finally finds a way back to his og universe and drags the love of his life kicking and screaming through the bifrost. he's back home, percy's with him, and all is well but BAM six other yanders fall in love with her AND HE'S STILL BEING BROTHER-ZONED 💀💀💀💀💀

(and imagine she's still pining after anthonius too, i bet you he DEFINITELY interrupted the underwater kiss scene after the war 😭 probably just fished her outta the lake and just went "nope not happening" 😭😭😭)

[thomasew7]

Hey yall guess who came back from the dead😻

Nah but fr I rlly hope ill be able to post more now, in the meantime have some random drawings i did, aus, tomeduardo and unfinished sketches/WIP

There's mooree so yet again i need to self reblog and add everything in 😭🙏

[tall-lesbian]

Lmaoooooo, I’m still happy they finally put kaveh in a banner lol. Anyway reminder to ask on the surveys for change in the new characters, hopefully they’ll listen.

And also if you didn’t know, you can still play the game, get excited and stuff AND criticize, callout etc hoyoverse for the lack of diversity, just don’t stop talking about it you know. I feel like people, specially online, forget that you can criticize and enjoy something at the same time.

[heavyhitterheaux]

New Life Partner

First Lady of Private Garden Instagram AU

Liked by dualipa, saweetie, jaysontatum, quiiso, urbanwyatt, y/ninsta, and 2,394,723 others

jackharlow: my man, ty to my man

y/ninsta: thank you to your WHAT?! aight that's it. everybody getting they ass beat and jayson is first druski2funny: oh so, you're cheating on me again? dualipa: y/ninsta you know where to find me saweetie: oh lord here they go again jaysontatum: now y/ninsta..... I had nothing to do with him writing that caption y/ninsta: jaysontatum lies you muthafuckin tell smh jackharlow: y/ninsta now you know how it feels when you leave me to go out with the hot chips and bad decisions crew blancahood: now why am I in it? jessicakelce: we are literally just sitting here minding our own business and then mullet boy over here wants to call us out jackandy/naremyparents: NOT MULLET BOY blancahood: y/ninsta did not let this man live for 24 hours when she saw his hair, the jokes kept coming and then jumped his bones when she was finished jackharlow: y/ninsta and you wonder why I left you and druski2funny I thought we were taking time away from each other? seeing other people? lilnasx: I'm just here waiting with my popcorn to see y/ninsta kick your ass

Liked by jackharlow, blancahood, saweetie, generationnow, brandisimmons, urbanwyatt, and 3,183,996

y/ninsta: full of hot chips and bad decisions 😜

jackharlow: can't take yall asses anywhere smh and wait a damn minute, is that brandisimmons?!? blancahood: I still don't remember half that night smh jessicakelce: blancahood now I see that the both of us have switched places, that's usually me lol brandisimmons: jackharlow maybe, maybe not urbanwyatt: now why wasn't I invited? I like hot chips softtcurse: urbanwyatt and you like bad decisions smh y/ninsta: urbanwyatt idk urby, we got to take a vote and meet with the president which is me. we'll get back to you shortly about our decision jessicakelce: I vote yes because he can tolerate hot food while jackharlow absolutely cannot jackharlow: jessicakelce will you leave me alone for five damn minutes?!?! jessicakelce: jackharlow no. jackharlow: y/ninsta do you remember what happened the last time you wore a short ass skirt out the house? y/ninsta: jackharlow I'm single now so it doesn't matter jackharlow: y/ninsta don't fucking play with me smh y/ninsta: call jayson

Liked by y/ninsta, jaysontatum, urbanwyatt, druski2funny, 2forwoyne, and 3,184,816 others

jackharlow: my baby girl is so gorgeous 😍

y/ninsta: jackharlow don't fucking post me, you cheater. jaysontatum is your baby girl now. a bitch do look gorgeous tho 🥰 jackandy/nupdates: all I need is one night. ONE. jackharlow: jackandy/nupdates you might get to have it if wifey don't stop playing urbandjack25: jackharlow is lucky he got to her first because if I did, he wouldn't have even been thought of y/ninsta: urbandjack25 not too much on my man now! even though we're married but separated, I still claim him druski2funny: well I don't claim him dualipa: drop his ass claybornharlow: little baby is here y/ninsta: clayyyyyyy, the one Harlow that I can count on to never disappoint me jackharlow: Y/N!!!! and dualipa claybornharlow don't start with me today and druski2funny you'll always claim me. I'm the ex that keeps you up at night urbanwyatt: my best friend is prettier than yours 😍 jaysontatum: I mean urbanwyatt she's pretty, but she obviously doesn't compare to me since jackharlow is ready to leave her y/ninsta: jaysontatum your ass got one more muthafuckin time to act out and then I'm bringing you down to my height jaysontatum: y/ninsta how tall are you because you barely come up to jack's knee saweetie: OUTTA POCKET 2forwoyne: not his knee lmaoooooo jackharlow: jaysontatum she's 5 feet on a good day claybornharlow: jackharlow your mouth is always getting you in trouble smh jackharlow: claybornharlow and it always gets me out of trouble too 😏 jessicakelce: I don't see how it took this long for her to get pregnant smh y/ninsta: jaysontatum I'll be on your doorstep at 8 am tomorrow jaysontatum: y/ninsta have fun trying to reach the doorbell urbanwyatt: jaysontatum well, she is little 😭 y/ninsta: urbanwyatt just for that, I made an executive decision, you can't be a part of hot chips and bad decisions. THAT'S FINAL urbanwyatt: y/ninsta wait! I want a redo!

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, maggieharlow, brandisimmons, theestallion, shloob_, and 1,297,192 others

y/ninsta: since jackharlow is out being a whore, this is who I'm left at home with smh

claybornharlow: my girl autumn 😍 jackharlow: y/ninsta what is she even doing?!? and not you calling me a whore smh y/ninsta: jackharlow idk, she your baby since she look like you so come figure it out smh theestallion: this baby absolutely knows no chill y/ninsta: theestallion she is on 1000 every damn day as soon as she wakes up. she has now learned how to get out of her crib and I wasn't ready for that jackharlow: I definitely woke up to her face smushed up against mine and was confused on how she got in there smh y/ninsta: jackharlow she can now escape out of Harlow baby jail so we have to hire security. claybornharlow you got the job, congratulations. claybornharlow: she is literally always on her best behavior when she's around me maggieharlow: grandma's baby! y/ninsta: maggieharlow well come get her! you wanted these grandkids so bad and now they're here! I need a drink AND a blunt smh saweetie: y/ninsta damn they got you down bad lol maggieharlow: y/ninsta tell her father to come get her jackharlow: and suddenly something came up that needs my immediate attention y/ninsta: JACKMAN THOMAS

Liked by claybornharlow, jackharlow, urbanwyatt, saweetie, sza, normani, generationnow, and 3,240,286 others

y/ninsta: my big baby and my little baby

since jackharlow wants to act like a husband and show me some attention today, I agreed. he just didn't tell me that I would be at the studio with him and a million other people smh

at least I have my little baby who is not so little anymore to keep me company

like a bitch cried when he turned 21

claybornharlow stop fucking growing up on me 😭

jackharlow: yeah, that was something. but you don't pay me any attention smh y/ninsta: jackharlow I cried when he got his license too lmao and you are a got damn lie smh saweetie: y/ninsta you literally cry at everything lmao y/ninsta: look to be fair, I met little baby when he was eleven and now he's a grown man and me no like that. in my eyes he will always be my little baby so look at this as an appreciation post so if one of these little fast ass girls break his heart, there will be hell to pay. mark my words. claybornharlow: y/ninsta we would have been amazing together jackharlow: claybornharlow AHT AHT! get back to work and stop trying to steal my wife for the millionth time claybornharlow: jackharlow your kids love me, your wife loves me, I'm the favorite child, the list goes on and on jackharlow: claybornharlow I will kick you in the throat y/ninsta: yall better get yall shit together before I tell maggie maggieharlow: too late y/ninsta: welp I tried, get your kids. I'm about to send the oldest back to you. maggieharlow: y/ninsta keep him jackharlow: maggieharlow WOW smh

Taglist:

@harlowsbby

@babyharleezy

@hoodharlow

@stefansalvatoresgf

@jackiehollanderr

@primadxna-girl

@dessmxsworld

@cockslutslurper3000

@raelorns21

@variety-fangirl

@gbaabyyyy

@kamorsstuff

@harlowthot

@sinsandsuccubus

@curlyhairclub

@bootlegroach

@haylexo10

@thinkingaboutjharlow

@fluidsentiment

@charli123456789

@moody4world

@yourstrulymayah

@yana4life

@beanbagbitch

@alinaharlow

@carma-fanficaddict

@minaxcarter

@arination99

@xjup1t3r

@venusvinc

@jackharloww

@midnight-star47

@minkookie95

@inluvwithladybug

@exoticr0ses

@jharlowsangels

@jackierose902109

@knack4harlow

@cmalass

@megawhoree

@softtcurse

@sia2raw

@miniaturehideoutmentality

@hoya122

@nattinatalia

@jackslover12

@skyesthebomb

@jackharlows-world

@louisianalady

@fdl305

@automaticpeachsong

@harlowcomehome

@gassyandsassy1

@babygirlwilly

@amethyst09

@harrycanyonmoonn

@bout-mine

@tattered-tales

@sisiking99

@dessxoxsworld

@gillybear17

@jacksdaycare

@iheartharlow

@disaster-rose

@babyvinnie

@evansxchalamet

@chtkmyharlow​

@itsyagirljaz

@neon-lights-and-glitter

@awhore4moree

@a-moment-captured

@jackmans-poison

@valentinqee

@lightsoutstyles

@j-worlds-blog

@middlechild404

@0elliotswhore

@iknowdatsrightbih

@w1ldthoughts

@love2loveonme

@hufflewhore128

@shawtypoison

@fantasywritersstuff

[mulletmitsuya]

Tokyo Revengers Groupchat (not everyone, also random combinations, no specific gang)

Warnings: swearing, suggestive, homophobia by a gay person (just sillies), mentions of vomit and poison, mentions of drugs

Desc: placenta, placebo, or gazebo? 🤔

Rindou: yk when you tell someone something then they believe it and it works?

Rindou: like what you're saying isn't true but cause they think it is, it works

Ran: yes

Ran: the placenta effect

Izana: here we fucking go

Smiley: you're kidding right?😁

Ran: are you going to put a Smiley face after every single thing you text?

Ran: we get it, you smile really wide 👍

Smiley: kys

Ran: so hostile and for what

Mikey: idk what the word is but it's definitely not placenta

Izana: how even?

Mitsuya: ...the placebo effect??

Ran: isn't that those huge tent things

Mitsuya: that's a gazebo

Ran: oh

Ran: same thing

Smiley: you dumb as hell

Hakkai: you'd think that big ass forhead of yours would be worth something

Hakkai: smh

Ran: and you'd think after 10 years you'd get over whatever grudge you have against me

Hakkai: you literally hit my best friend (future bf) over the head with a brick

Chifuyu: thought you could sneak that in huh

Hakkai: he could have died

Ran: but he didn't?

Ran: i was just being silly and having fun

Ran: is that such a crime🙄

Hakkai: ITS FUCKING ATTEMPTED MURDER

Rindou: so is it placebo, placenta, or gazebo?

Mitsuya: it's placebo

Kazutora: placenta's are in females stomachs for pregnancy i think

Baji: that's the uterus (i'm so fucking smart)

Chifuyu: none of those are correct

Draken: google exists also

Draken: why are you asking us

Rindou: shut up for a sec

Rindou: would the placenta effect potentially kill someone

Rindou: like if you told someone that you poisoned them and then after a while they start frothing at the mouth and shit, could they die?

Rindou: or are they being a little bitch and faking lol

Rindou: i didn't actually put the rat poison in his drink (i think)

Rindou: but it kinda seems like he's dying or smth

Mikey: what the fuck is this situation

Mikey: is this real?💀

Rindou: nah

Rindou: hypothetically

Ran: does this have to do with the ambulance being here

Rindou: nah

Rindou: can y'all just answer me

Rindou: hurry before the "poison", does it's job or whatever

Rindou: guys he's throwing up pretty violently

Rindou: there's blood

Rindou: hypothetically

Izana: who would you have "hypothetically" poisoned?😐

Rindou: bro that's not the point, sir

Izana: stop calling me sir in normal situations

Izana: we're normal now and not in a gang and i'm a normal person not a gang leader

Mochi: so we don't have to call you Izana-sama anymore?

Ran: what if it turns us on

Izana: uhm

Kakucho: fuck off

Kakucho: sorry

Ran: Kaku give it up, he's way too old for you

Rindou: so y'all just gonna let the hypothetical person die? ayt

Rindou: i'm on my way to the hospital for unrelated reasons

Kakucho: who's the hypothetical victim of the placebo

Rindou: uhhh Sanzu

Kakucho: LMAO

Kakucho: let him hypothetically die then 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Mitsuya: punch him in the stomach

Rindou: i know a lot of y'all don't like him but we're friends now and i don't want him to die also he has the best drugs so i'd rather he stay alive so that i can enjoy them recreationally

Rindou: but i'll do it anyway

Mitsuya: stfu for a sex, punching him will make him throw up, and he'll vomit most of the poison out

Rindou: oh like in the stomach?

Rindou: he's gonna be so mad at me, damn

Baji: "shut up for a sex" lmaoooooo🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Baji: and you guys say I'M diabetic💀💀

Mikey: bro what?😭

Kakucho: you mean dyslexic?

Kakucho: nvm the situation speaks for itself

Smiley: the irony of this is crazy

Draken: that got a chuckle outta me 😂

Chifuyu: why you text like a 40 year old dad💀

Ran: i never went to school but even i know that's incorrect

Hakkai: "i never went to school but even i know that's incorrect 🤓👆"

Hakkai: jump into oncoming tragic you f slur🖕

Smiley: aur naur you done made Hakkai homophobic

Ran: you need to fucking chill omg

Mitsuya: are you five years old, Baji

Baji: nah i'm 24 dumbness🤨

Baji: *dumbass

Izana: my oath for not using violence anymore might have to be on hold cause you guys are pissing me the fuck off you fucking incompetent fools useless excuses of human beings

Smiley: bro called us fools

Ran: that's a bit much, sir

Baji: bet you're typing with your left hand

Ran: uh huh <3

Rindou: get some fucking bitches, damn

Ran: where are your bitches, Rindou

Rindou: on my dick

Ran: oh you're talking about the femboys?

Ran: ohh ok i thought you weren't gay but whatever

Mikey: yo is haruchiyo alive?

Rindou: they're pumping his stomach, he'll be fine

Rindou: liking femboys isn't gay

Smiley: 🤨

Angry: 🤨

Rindou: don't act dumb because it's literally in the term 'fem'

Draken: uh, what about the 'boy' part

Rindou: don't twist my words

Rindou: how is liking something that looks like a girl, gay??

Mitsuya: bffr 😐

Rindou: y'all telling me if i fuck haruchiyo i'm gay???

Hakkai: he's a boy?

Rindou: he looks like a woman

Rindou: have you seen his body? tiny ass waist headass. y'all come to the onsen next time you'll see what i mean

Chifuyu: you're being weird rn

Ran: what about his penis, Rindou

Rindou: that's irrelevant

Rindou: besides it's barely noticeable

Draken: people like you and Koko are the fucking problem, get some therapy

Smiley: Rindou thinks fucking a guy in the ass isn't gay 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Rindou: "FEM"

Draken: BOY???? MALE??? MAN??? DICK???

Rindou: ok who's gay now, weirdo🤨

Draken: kys (kill yourself)

[c0la-queen]

Absolutely melting at the idea of the Hybird!Boys nagging at Reader for her food even when they already have their own, literally just a bunch of spoiled little babies UGHHH THEYRE SO CUTEEEEE I love them sm…

Like reader’s got herself a nice meaty dinner, maybe a good cut of steak, and as shes eating she suddenly feels smt wet poking at her arm, and she looks to see what and it’s Soldier booping her arm with his nose, staring and drooling at the delicious steak, he starts trying to hop up to nip at it while reader tries push him away, but she ends up cutting a lil piece, dusting off the salt seasoning as best as she could and feeding him it anyways,

I like to think that Tord/Soldier likes snacking on other’s food, esp if its like savory salty meaty stuff yknow what I mean? I can totes see him as the asshole type to steal the other guy’s food stuff, maybe he’ll be a bit nicer to you and nag ask you first

AHHHHHHHHHH SAME THING FOR PRINCE TOOOO WHEN YOU HAVE LIKE A DELICIOUS LIL CREAMY TREATIE He would WHINEEEEE for some sooo badd you HAVE to give him some, he loves treaties sm and will be As dramatic as he can to get the sweets he wants

Going to Starbucks with him and everytime you HAVE to get him a pupcup kinda situation, so you only stop by there sometimes on occasions like when you have to get him to the vet for a checkup otherwise he’ll by crying allll the way home when you deny getting him one cause he’s already have too much and that’ll both break my heart and also annoy me sm LOOLLLLLLL

I literally have such a huge soft spot for Prince and his pompousness…I wanna shower him in kisses and babytalk and squish his face so badly he’s such a cutie patootie

The day you cook bacon for breakfast???? It’s over. Prepare for the hardest tussle in your life wrestling with Superhero for the bacon, if he already bosses you around then you know HE WILL BE RELENTLESS with the bacon, a Giant wolfdog fighting you frfr for food??? Gone…

SOLDIER ENDING UP JOINING IN TOO?1??1?11 literally actually over. It’s a battle to the death. Someones probably going to get hurt and its probably most definitely is going to be you falling over from 2 big ass wolfdogs jumping onto you and knockign you over for the bacon LMAOOOOOO

Soldier and Superhero fighting each other for it but they take it too far though and it become an actual fight for food situation…hic…Reader has to step in and stop them somehow, everyones upset, she has to make both of them 2 pieces and scolds them, they resolved and apologized nicely though at least…

And reader never makes bacon for breakfast ever again(unless its a special occasion when she wants to treat the both of them)

Really love the thought of Monster being the one that rarely nags reader for food like the others Only cause hes a bit distant and has a kinda weird ego abt it y’know, so its Reader who spoils him and tries to get him to try stuff cause he’s a good dog, he deserves it

She notices him eyeing out the food shes having curiously, sniffing at it, so she gets a small piece and asks if he wants to try it and she gets vv happy when he accepts, the others probably gets jealous at the treatment and tries to get some too lolll he probably feels SO proud and full of himself whehehe…

Omg you are SO correct and big brained for this!

Poor Reader would absolutely never get a moment of rest with these four eccentric wolf dogs.

Before adopting them, she definitely had a habit of sitting on the couch with her dinner and watching YouTube videos about niche internet drama (yes I'm projecting) but now she's realized that, to the boys, this is simply an open invitation. I guarantee that, at first, Soldier wouldn't even beg her for the food. He'd be the type to just reach over and start sniffing at her plate. He's not even trying to be sneaky about it! That bastard would have the audacity to look her in the eyes while trying to take food off her plate! She tries to scold him about it, but he simply does not listen - in his mind, there's nothing wrong with what he's doing. So she's taken to sitting at the dining room table and watching YouTube videos on her phone instead. (Soldier will still put his head on her leg and stare at her expectantly.)

Reader is simply Just A Girl 💅, so we know our self-love queen would go get herself a sweet treat all the time. It varies, usually whatever she's craving at the time. There have been times where she's got a random craving for something she doesn't have, and will get up and leave her house to go get it (the boys get so annoyed and huffy). But she should know that no matter what it is she gets, Prince will want a bite. He'd be cute about it, too - whining and pouting and blinking up at her with those baby blue eyes. Eventually, Reader would giggle and give in, with the warning of "Just one bite, baby." Then she'd share a little piece with him. If it's something that isn't safe for dogs, she'd be less willing to share with him, insisting that it'll hurt him. Still, he'd whine for it. (It's not Reader's fault that she doesn't know he can have them!) And yes, I feel like Prince would be the most well behaved in the car, and the best around people, so he's the one that gets to join her on outings more often. She made the mistake of stopping by a coffee shop and getting him a pup cup ONE TIME, and now he's hooked. Every time they pass by that coffee shop (he knows that it's Reader's favorite, since the baristas know her by name) he will bark and howl and work himself up into a tizzy until Reader finally sighs and gives in. After he gets that pup cup, he's back to being well-behaved and a sweetheart. Reader hates it. Plus, people would fawn over Prince in public since he's such a pretty boy. He absolutely eats it up!

God save Reader if she decides to make bacon one morning. It's not something she does often - she probably decided to do it this time as a special occasion. Maybe it's the morning of her birthday or a holiday. Either way, she decided to make a big breakfast for herself. Which included bacon.

Superhero is normally the first of the four to wake up. From what Reader can gather, Soldier takes the night shift. He stays awake through the night, watching out the windows and sometimes patrolling the house. Because of this, Soldier tends to sleep during the day. Superhero then takes the mantle of "guard dog" during the day. Prince and Monster will sometimes take the night shift instead, but it's normally Superhero and Soldier.

Still, Superhero has a routine of patrolling the house the moment he wakes up, checking for anything wrong. If Reader is making bacon, though? Superhero is glued to her legs in an instant. She'd laugh at first and lightheartedly tell him no. He wouldn't give up. He'd escalate to putting his front paws up on her shoulders and trying to reach the bacon himself. Reader would definitely have to half pick up/half drag him away from the stove. He'd boof and snap his teeth demandingly, as if he's entitled to a piece of this bacon and how dare you not let him have a piece! Reader, always one to fight him on everything, would be adamant not to.

Then Soldier enters the scene. As I said before, Soldier usually sleeps through the first half of the day. But the moment the smell of bacon spreads through the house? She hears claws clacking against the floor as he barrels into the kitchen. It would probably be the most excited Reader has ever seen Soldier, tail wagging and eyes shining brightly. Superhero immediately growls and snaps at Soldier. Reader would just let them tussel at first, using the distraction to finish cooking her bacon. Eventually, she realizes "Oh shit those are NOT play growls-" and quickly runs over to the two to separate them. It takes the promise of two pieces of bacon each to get them to finally settle down.

Reader never makes bacon in her house ever again.

Meanwhile, Monster would be different. Where the other three would be swarming her legs the moment she starts cooking herself dinner, Reader notices that Monster is always sitting patiently to the side. She has to subdue the others by continuously feeding them bites of what she's cooking, but Monster never begs for any. He's the only one that she can eat on the couch with, because he'll lay on top of her feet and won't try to steal her food. But she does notice him glancing at her food. So, since he's always been such a sweetheart, Reader would happily offer Monster food. He would take it slowly, hesitantly. But he feels better after Reader cooes and praises him for being so good. His tail would wag contently. Still, he would never bother Reader for her food. We love Monster in this household <3 I will say, I like to think Tom personally doesn't like bacon. So, if Reader tried to offer some to Monster because it's only fair, he would sniff it, then huff and sneeze and turn his nose away. Doesn't bother Reader, though. Just means it's one less rowdy wolfdog trying to tackle her.