#lmaoooooo can I stop

[ratmonky]

have an inspection for my apartment tomorrow morning, my last day at my small ass uni apartment is today and i'll be doing my last bit of cleaning!!

i literally have nothing else in here other than my new laptop that i only do editing with so i spent last night and my morning just now writing lol

i've partially finished my dbd chapter (4k+ words atm) but it introduces another killer that the reader will be paired up with and the next segment is the michael myers' trial!! so my question is--- would you rather to have me post it now or after i've also written michael's trial? (might take a week or two to write and post michael's trial, if i post it now you'll have another chapter within the next month)

was gonna make a poll but i like to interact personally so let me know in the comments heh <3

i'll make it easy so you can copy paste your answers like this:

i waited 3+ years for michael i CANNOT wait any longer

i waited 3+ years for michael i can wait longer

[scitty]

It is literally not ok to claim you're ace when you aren't. Just cope with being a basic white girl. Stop wearing other people's sexualities like accessories.

I want to study your brain but like. in a mean way

also thanks for misgendering me and invalidating my identity thatll make me listen to you yep. goodbye presses the block button

[piastri-fvx]

The Night We Met. Ollie Bearman.

Pairing: Ollie Bearman x girlfriend! reader

Summary: When everyone freaks out about the way Ollie talks about his girlfriend in interviews.

Word Count:

Face claim: girls from pinterest!!

Disclaimer/s: None!! just fluff!

A/N: first ollie fic because i'm trying to do more different drivers (i support most of the drivers, lmao) hope u enjoy!! let me know if you have requests or want to be on my permanent tag list <333

✮⋆˙ Masterlist. ˙⋆✮

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@f1

liked by olliebearman, yourusername, flavy.barla, lando, dinobeganovic_ and 8.284.936 others

f1 ollie bearman upon being asked about his girlfriend in an interview at the Saudi Arabian grand prix: "When I saw her for the first time, all of my focus went out the window. To me, everyone else was just a blur and my heart started beating so fast I thought my chest was going to explode. It felt like time froze just so I could look at her. And when she looked at me, my brain went on a hiatus. She was so pretty she literally broke my brain,"

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user1 oh he is in LOVE

user2 where do you even find a guy like this oml 😭

-> user3 we need his girlfriend's secret to getting a guy like ollie

-> user4 realll 😭

user5 THIS IS ADORABLE I'M GONNA DIEEE

-> user6 you can literally see it in his eyes 😭💕

user7 eyes don't lie 🤷‍♀️

dinobeganovic_ he also speaks about her like that in private btw, in case anyone was wondering 😁 liked by author

-> user8 NOT DINO OUTING OLLIE

-> user9 LMAOOOOOO

-> user10 CLOCK IT

user11 not the official f1 account posting this omfg 😭

-> user12 they knew we'd eat this up 😣

-> user13 and we still are eating this up

user14 I died dead, everyone needs an Ollie in their life 😭

-> user15 fr because how is he so sweet

user16 making ollie edits as i'm typing this 🙏

user17 i watched the interview and when i tell you, the way this man's face lit up the SECOND his girlfriend was mentioned omfg 😣

-> user18 I AM UNWELL

-> user19 gonna pray for a boyfriend like him

@olliebearman

liked by yourusername, arthur_leclerc, alexandrasaintmleux, charles_leclerc, kimi.antonelli and 582.937 others

olliebearman happy birthday to the prettiest ❤️

tagged: @yourusername

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yourusername thank you, my love 🥰 liked by author

-> olliebearman you're soooo welcome, my darling ❤️

-> user1 i'm gonna die

-> user2 i fear i live for this content 😣

user3 okay but can we talk about how perfect you guys look together?

-> user4 fr because how is it that they look like they've just always been together like this 😭

-> user5 real 🙏

user6 face cards never decline 😝

alexandrasaintmleux happy birthday, y/n!! liked by author

-> yourusername tyyyyy 💗 liked by author

charles_leclerc very happy that she's my daughter-in-law 😁 liked by creator

-> user7 NOT HIM BRINGING UP THE FAMILY JOKES

-> user8 HELPPPP

-> user9 "f1 is a serious sport." f1:

user10 imagine being this photogenic AND dating oliver bearman 😭

-> user11 sounds too good to be true 🙏

-> user12 i'm not even sure who's luckier, y/n or ollie

user13 cutest thing i've seen this year 💗

user14 it should literally be illegal to be this perfect

-> user15 real 😭🙏

-> user16 they're both perfect and somehow also perfect together

-> user17 fr because like ughhhh i want this soooo bad

@yourusername

liked by olliebearman, alexandrasaintmleux, flavy.barla, arthur_leclerc, lando and 382.826 others

yourusername london with my london boy ❤️

tagged: @olliebearman

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user1 y/n woke up and chose to make us feel even more single 😭🙏

alexandrasaintmleux trop belle 🥰🥰🥰 liked by author

-> yourusername i'm gonna kiss you

-> olliebearman no, you won't. 😁

-> user2 GUYS HE PUT A FULL STOP.

-> user3 HE DID

-> user4 HE IS SERIOUS OML

-> user5 ollie 💀

-> user6 ollie got replaced lol

user7 straight out of a novel fr

user8 no one talk to me rn

-> user9 just me actually giggling at this post

user10 still processing that people this perfect actually exist tbh

-> user11 story of my life, ngl

-> user12 i'm so jealous rn

user13 alexa, play 'that should be me' by justin bieber 😣😣😣

-> user14 i felt that on another level

olliebearman I LOVE YOUUUUU 😍 liked by author

-> user15 he's so down bad lmao

-> user16 more like down HORRENDOUS lol

user17 just me and my single ass staring at these pictures likeeee...

-> user18 i relate to this even though i don't want to

-> user19 i wish i didn't relate to this lmfao

user20 real life definition of couple goals

-> user21 literally was just about to comment that

-> user22 lollll me too

-> user23 they are literally THE standard

@haasf1team

liked by olliebearman, yourusername, formula2, kimi.antonelli, ferraridriveracademy and 347.836 others

haasf1team Ollie's on the grid for '25 🙌🇬🇧

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yourusername proudest girlfriend right now ❤️ liked by author

-> haasf1team our favorite fan ❤️

-> yourusername WOOOOO!! GO HAAS!!! liked by author

user1 el mago del motor 😫

-> user2 mola mas que ocon 😭😭😭

-> user3 the way that song has aged sooo well

-> user4 real

-> user5 and not only because ollie's gonna be an f1 driver, but also because his new teammate is gonna be ocon lmao 💀

teamob PROUD! 🔥🙌 liked by author

-> user6 soooo proud

f1dutchgp 🔥🔥 liked by author

user7 GUYS WE'RE ABOUT TO GET MORE OLLIE CONTENT

-> user8 YAYYYYYYYY

user9 y/n is now an f1 wag 🙏

-> user10 my new favorite f1 wag already

-> user11 same tbh, even though the others seem cool too

-> user12 yeah but ollie and y/n are a different level of perfect lol

user13 y/n representing all of us

user14 YAYYYYYYY

-> user15 GET IT OLLIEEEEE

user16 bet they just gained so many followers lmao

-> user17 yeah because we all love ollie

-> user18 he's our golden boy

user19 he's cute (i'm a straight guy)

-> user20 yup (also a straight guy)

@olliebearman

liked by yourusername, lando, alexandrasaintmleux, kimi.antonelli, f1haasteam and 793.946 others

olliebearman officially a couple account from now on ☺️

tagged: @yourusername

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user1 do they just wake up every day and decide to be the cutest couple ever or does it happen naturally?

-> olliebearman she's already the cutest, that makes it easier for us 😁

-> yourusername I LOVE YOUUUUU 😭❤️ liked by author

-> user2 he's so cheesy 😫

-> user3 and she's eating it up 😭💗

-> user4 we all are tbh 🙂‍↔️

-> user5 the way he's literally such a sweetheart 😣

user6 I FULLY SUPPORT THIS DECISION 🙏🙏🙏

-> user7 SAME

user8 CUTIESSSSS

user9 HE BETTER BE SERIOUS

-> user10 i hope he is 😣

-> user11 i fear i need the couple content

user12 ollie's smile when he's with y/n>>>>>>everything else

-> user13 fr because he looks the happiest when he's with her

-> user14 bro looks like he's in heaven with her

user15 like every time he smiles in an interview, i KNOW she's the reason. prove me wrong... you can't

-> user16 LITERALLY 🙏

-> user17 everyone who disagrees shall argue with the wall

-> user18 walls are smarter than people who think they can prove you wrong, pookie

@yourusername

liked by olliebearman, haasf1team, estebanocon, flavy.barla, alexandrasaintmleux and 449.057 others

yourusername in my aesthetic era 🥰

tagged: @olliebearman

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user1 this is EVERYTHING

-> user2 YES BECAUSE HOW IS THIS SO PERFECT

-> user3 THEY ARE LITERALLY COUPLE GOALS AHHHHH

user4 THE SMILES. THE ENERGY. THE CHEMISTRY.

user5 literally sobbing at how cute this is

-> user6 real because how can two people be this adorable together 😭

-> user7 i hope they never break up 🙏😣

user8 THIS or nothing

-> user9 this is a NEED

-> user10 YES i NEED a relationship like theirs

dinobeganovic_ i'm giving a speech at the wedding 😁😁😁 liked by author

-> user11 dino being the biggest olly/n shipper 🙏😩

-> user12 my roman empire, everyone

-> user13 this is my new favorite thing 😣

user14 outfits are eatingggg liked by author

olliebearman do you do weddings? (as the bride) liked by author

-> yourusername with you? (as the groom) definitely.

-> olliebearman deal. liked by author

-> yourusername i love youuuuuuu

-> olliebearman say it again liked by author

-> yourusername i love youuuu.

-> olliebearman yeah, you do. 😁 liked by author

user15 i'm gonna die.

-> user16 CAN WE TALK ABOUT HIS COMMENT

-> user17 YEAH LIKE OML

-> user18 AND HER ANSWER 🙏😣

-> user19 AND THE REPLIES AND OMG

-> user20 YEAH ALL OF THEIR TALK OMFG

-> user21 AND THEY'RE SO DOWN BAD FOR EACH OTHER

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A/N: OMG I'M FINALLY BACK GUYS 😭 I was on a week trip and didn't have my phone and them just like DID NOT have any time at all, so I just had this story unfinished with only a little missing. Lol, anyways, I finally finished this and I hope u enjoyedddd!!

tags!

@freyathehuntress

[evilwizard]

🌈 ella-m-agnetism Follow

magnets, electricity, and light? everyone knows im the best. i probably don’t even need those other girls 😘

🌑 gravity-schmavity Follow

for fuck’s sake ella not this again. i literally trapped you in a black hole just last week

🤹‍♀️ strongerthanyou Follow

y’all, can we not do this in public? this is getting embarrassing

☢️ weakdayfreakday Follow

rip her wavelengths off bitch

163,455 notes

🧬 d-n-acidtrip Follow

did you guys hear the Fundamental Four might be breaking up? they are soo messy lol

🍬 adena-signed-triphosphate Follow

LMAOOOOOO YOU SAID IT NOT ME. BUT I SOOOO AGREE😭 DO YOU THINK THEY’LL NEED A NEW MEMBER? OMG WE SHOULD APPLY!!!!!!!!

🧬 d-n-acidtrip Follow

girl you are coming at me with a lot of energy rn

17 notes

🔬 chrispr-cas9 Follow

@d-n-acidtrip respond to my dms. unblock me. please please please please please please please please

🔗 gene-o-type Follow

you need to stop this man. she chose me

🔬 chrispr-cas9 Follow

can’t we share

3 notes

⏳ enter-entropy Follow

UCU is the worst. all my classes are taught by weird old men. the cosmic microwave in the dining hall barely heats the food. it fucking sucks here

🧠 e-equals-mc-crazy-haired Follow

Please, watch your language.

⏳ enter-entropy Follow

stfu old man im top of my class at Universe City University and i can say what i want

🧠 e-equals-mc-crazy-haired Follow

And I am Albert Einstein, the Dean of Students at UCU.

⏳ enter-entropy Follow

im sorry sir

22,158 notes

🌎 terra-firma Follow

@secretplanet9 where are you

❔secretplanet9 Follow

i’ll never tell 😉

🌎 terra-firma Follow

omg guys!!!! @mercuryinaflurry @venusflytrap @unmarredmars @jupiterisntstupider @ringleader6 @stoppronouncingitlikethat @listentomyneptunes

we got a response!!! planet 9 we will find you!!!!!! ✨💕

🪐 ringleader6 Follow

omg yessssss

🧊pluto-all-alone Follow

can you guys not do this right in front of me

[eydi-andrius]

Sore Loser (Love and Deepspace Characters x F!Reader)

Synopsis: After a very shitty day, you thought playing Kitty Cards with him will make your day better.

A/N: Girl, I hate this damn game. Lmaoooooo!

🗡️ Xavier 🗡️

Xavier didn't mean anything from it. He was just playing by the rules of the game, using his advance cards to parry and block your attempt to stop him from freezing your turn, four times by now. He was so focused on the game that he did not notice how your face became harder, and your eyes stared coldly at the board, now filled mostly with Xavier’s number cards. His kitties were cheering for him, and you watched helplessly as your kitties cried from defeat.

“That was a good game.” Xavier smiled to himself, as he saw how the game ended beautifully for him. He saved up as many good advance cards and used them at the right moment. He was so proud of himself and he can't wait to see your face. You usually analyze how he won, and take notes of what you did wrong. However, when he looked up, his joyous face turned down, and his heartbeat quickened when he saw how cold and mad you were. Your anger wasn't directed at him, instead, you were staring at the board coldly. But he knew at that time, he fucked up.

“I’m tired of this stupid game.” The chair scraped the floor, as you stood up so fast and grabbed your coat, placed atop the top rail.

“Hey wait!” He tried to stop you from walking out but he accidentally bumped into the board, almost toppling the cups and kitties over. In panic, he tried to support the wobbling table, and sighed with relief when it stopped shaking. He tried to find you afterwards, but he lost sight of you.

It has been two days, and as his partner hunter, it shouldn't be impossible for you to meet, but you must have been so mad because whenever he asks of you, you decline his calls and only reply in messages as promptly and professionally as an HR. He tried looking for you on your table, but most of the time, you were out or doing something else, whenever he came over. He was about to give up apologizing and accept his fate that he pissed you off at a game, so bad, you decided to cut him off, when Jenna ordered all the alpha team to meet at the unicorns headquarters for a debrief.

And he was right, you were there, but you were sitting in between two hunters he knew nothing about. He wasn't listening at all, he can always check on the information later, but he was afraid that if you manage to sneak out again this time, your relationship will fall apart and he doesn't like the sound of it, even when it wasn't going to happen because he will make sure of it.

“Let’s talk.” Before you can even stand up from where you were sitting, Xavier immediately moves over in front of you, calling your attention in front of the other hunters, making you unable to turn him down.

“Sorry. I should have known you were playing to enjoy that day. I didn't mean to make you mad. I will make sure to be more sensitive in the future about your needs. I know I can be slow at times, sometimes emotionless, but I don't want to repeat the same mistake and lose your company over a silly game.” Xavier started right after the door closed, leaving the two of you alone together. He looks tired. There were visible dark bags right under his eyes. He must have been torturing himself after you gave him the cold shoulder.

You feel silly now. You were not mad at Xavier for winning. It was just a shitty day and you were just looking forward to having a good day and resting with Xavier at your side, when it seems like even the Kitty Cards were against you. Xavier keeps on getting good cards, and you keep getting the most useless advance and number cards. You sighed and closed your eyes. You shouldn't have run away from him. Now, you made it worse and made him feel like he should tiptoe around your mood, instead of enjoying each other's company in your free time.

“Please, don't. It wasn't like that. I was just annoyed about my day at that time and losing was the final straw for me. I’m sorry that I made you feel like that for days. But I wasn't sure how to confront you, especially when I was just acting like a sore loser. Have you not been sleeping well? You have a bag under your eyes.” Worried, you cupped his cheek and moved his face closer to yours, inspecting and noticing how his face looks paler, dry, and tired.

Instead of saying anything, he hums at your touch, and he moves forward, resting his head on your lap.

“Let me take a little sleep. I miss you.” He said before dozing off, and you stroked his hair while he slept.

❄️ Zayne ❄️

Zayne is bad at playing the Kitty Cards game. Due to his fatigue, sometimes he mistook some colors as the same, making his turn score nothing. But today was a bit different. Zayne keeps on winning, and he keeps on using advanced cards that will be fatal on your turn. He steals your advance cards, takes away your good number cards, and freezes your turn. Meanwhile, you keep on getting advanced cards that mean nothing when you have no good cards at hand.

“I win again, huh.” It was obvious that Zayne didn't mean anything from that, other than him wondering why he won again. But maybe you're already at your limit and hearing that made you snap.

“Well good for you. I’m going home.” It was all you have told him before you left him dumbfounded on his seat, leaving him alone at the cafe.

Whatever you did back there was just embarrassing. It was just a game but you took it personally. You're not going to wonder if Zayne refuses to talk to you now, other than being your physician, after that embarrassing display of attitude when you lose. You're not even sure how you're going to talk to him today.

It's your physical exam and it's been two days since you always kept him on read or only replies with emoji. You have to toughen up and apologize. Zayne did not deserve being treated that way.

Upon opening the door to his office, you breathed in, swallowing all the courage you needed. You walked towards the chair and sat in front of him. He was busy typing whatever on his computer, but you know, he already glimpsed on your way, because you felt his heavy stare for a second, before it went back to his task at hand. It didn't take long when he finished and stared you down. It was so awkward and it was at this moment, where you wished to be swallowed down by the earth and be gone. You gulped and opened your mouth to apologize when he started talking first.

“You didn't tell me you were injured that day.” You shivered at the icy tone in his voice. Just like his evol, Zayne can also be cold and scary. He didn't even need for you to emphasize on what he just said, because you already knew what he was talking about. A wanderer caught you off guard hours before meeting Zayne and it scratched your arm. The wound is not that deep, and you already put first aid on it so you never thought about it much, until the small wound did not heal as fast, and almost gave you a fever when it deepens. You realize now that it was the guilt of keeping you're injured to Zayne, and also, being a sore loser from the pain.

“It was very small. I don't want to bother you on your day off so….I kept it.” You squeak, when he glared at you, for being nonchalant about it.

“I don't care if it was my day off. It was my duty to take care of you. I hate it when you lie to me about being fine, when you know too well I can help you.” He continued scolding you, as he inspected the scarring wound, and offensively stared at it.

“I’m really sorry.” Was your only answer, to both, hiding your wound from him and to him receiving the burnt of your pain.

“Also, you can always ask me to switch our cards. I don't mind.” Zayne added as he patched you up.

🧜🏻‍♂️ Rafayel 🧜🏻‍♂️

Rafayel is the ultimate king of petty.

You already know that right from the start but nothing prepares you for the way he massacres you from the game Kitty Cards.

During at the last hurrah of your showdown, Rafayel finally revealed his advance cards, he uses freeze to stop you from playing, uses advance cards that will turn your cup scores into one, kicking out your highest score kitties from the colored cups, and replacing it with his, stealing your deny cards, and using it against you. It was so bad, that on the inside, you felt your blood boil on how cruel it was. If he did it the first time, you would be proud of him, but he’s been winning all the rounds, and every time, it ends up with him brutally winning. His wins hit a nerve and you finally snapped.

“Ha! Please don't cry. Losing isn't that bad.” He said proudly, as Rafayel nodded to himself. He loves teasing you and he enjoys your banter together. He knows at this point, teasing each other is a form of bonding.

He was celebrating his win when he noticed how quiet you were. When he opened his eyes, the smug look on his face dropped and he stopped in his tracks. The look on your face was devastating and he never saw that before. Your scrunched up face, eyes filled with upcoming tears. When both of your eyes met, there seemed like a switch in you, that made you burst into tears. Rafayel, who doesn't know how to handle your outburst, tries his best to console you. But he did not expect that you were still mad at him, so when he tried to hug you, you pushed him away and ran.

Since then, you have refused to reply to his texts. You even muted his calls so you won't have to answer it. Whatever you did that day was so embarrassing that you’d rather sever whatever relationship you have with Rafayel instead of relieving how sore loser you were. It was just a game, and you cried like a baby from it. There were times that you're trying to justify your tears by saying maybe Rafayel’s insults were too much that day, and it was the reason why you burst into tears, but there would be nothing so petty as pushing someone away and running due to losing from a board game.

Sighing, you just accepted that Rafayel will probably stop talking to you. It is what it is as you continue to go on with your day, when your phone blares and a notification about Rafayel being in danger popped up in bold letters. You did not hesitate as you rode your bike and flew to Rafayel’s whereabouts.

You burst through his studio door, and your eyes caught his figure slumped on the floor, leaning to his couch.

“What happened? Are you okay? Did you slip on your paint brushes again?” You asked worriedly, as you touched his shoulder, arms and legs, to see if he injured himself again. You were so worried and kept asking many questions that were meant silently, you were about to unleash the hulk at him for not answering, when you stopped on your tracks when you noticed the frown on his forehead and his glare.

“Really? Do I have to injure myself so you can notice me?” He bit down and you whimpered, not from his anger but from guilt.

“Sorry.” You apologized. You look down and twiddle your thumbs, not knowing how to dissipate the awkwardness of the situation and Rafayel’s glare.

It took a moment before you hear Rafayel’s sigh in defeat and open his mouth to talk again.

“You could have just asked me, and I will allow you to cheat by putting my kitties in different cups, or even by replacing my advance cards. All you have to do is say please.” He continued, exasperated.

All you can do is look down in shame and murmur an apology for acting so childish.

“Just….. don’t ignore me again like that, please. It doesn't feel good when the most important person in your life suddenly stops talking to you.” He added, his voice quivered a bit and you wince when you realize how your action affected him. Opening up his old wounds.

“I’m really sorry, Rafayel. I promise to be better next time.” A silence falls between you again. It took a moment before you realize despite how mad he was, he refuses to move his left hand. The air of guilt slowly turned into worry again.

“Did you injure your left hand?” You asked worriedly and slowly touched his left hand when he flinched and gritted his teeth from the pain.

“Probably sprain it when I fell.”

“You fell!?”

“It's fine, Ms. Bodyguard. I bet it will heal tomorrow. Just feed me for now.” He chuckled at your worried face and you watched him move his left hand with no worry, following your reaction from it. You just shake your head at how silly that was, and was so happy he was okay, before you stood up, helped him up, and treated him like a prince just for today.

[swirlyyygal]

Beyond My Window

You can’t help but stare at him can you? I mean who wouldn’t. But will he stare back? Not with those damn tinted windows he won’t.

AU!Joel Miller x Neighbor!F!Reader

CW/TAGS: Joel is like early 40’s, reader is early 20’s, no hair length/type mentioned, height diff (ur shorter), reader is in college, pining kinda?, Sarah and Ellie are mentioned but don’t play a major part, no y/n is used, a lot of pet names, SEXXX 🤤🤤🤤, ofc he puts his dih in, fingering, condom is on bc I’m not down with raw yet, dacryfilia if you squint (it’s not in a mean way), reader is not shaved bc I can’t care enough to make them shaved 💔🥀🕊️

A/N!! Hi hi!! I’m Mimi, ofc, and this is one of my first FULLLY DONE AND POSTED FANFICS!!! I had to do Joel Miller of flipping course bc 🤤🤤. Anyway!! I really hope y’all enjoy!! And don’t expect much since I’m still a noob at smut works.. (｡•́︿•̀｡) BTW NOT PROOFREAD BC LMAOOOOOO IM NOT DOING ALLAT

~~~

Early Spring was the best, you loved it, more than you loved any other season. But your Spring would be a bit different this year since a new neighbor had moved into your SoCal suburbs.

It was maybe late December when he decided to show up. The moving van hard to miss after your old ass neighbor moved out and was replaced with a whole HELLL OF A MAN. Scruffy black hair and a beard to match. All wrapped up in a coat as the boxes piled off the truck. You, being nosy, decided to try and look through the front window to spy and that was the first mistake you had EVER MADE. Even just catching a glimpse of him made your heart stop and a deep breath go down your lungs.

You caught what you could from him, no ring thank the heavens. And managed to find out little tidbits from his life when your mom and dad had ever so graciously brought him some leftover treats. He met you on his front door with a small smile on his face. And crows feet, OUGHHHH. His name was Joel Miller, carpenter. He was a single dad with two daughters not much older than you, Sarah and Ellie. They were out on their own though, and he had just moved all the way from Texas.

As well as the fact that he has a little brother and like you had confirmed before, no misses!! The more you found out about him the more you wanted to keep the conversation going. But it was getting late and your parents just decided to hit the hay. You wistfully waved goodbye. As he did the same.

That was 4 months ago. In those 4 months it wasn’t like much had changed, on some mornings you’d see him on his porch while you were about to drive to your classes. “Mornin’ darlin’..” That Southern drawl doing something to you that you never wanted.

Or in late afternoons when you’d return and he’d shoot you a friendly wave. Nothing much. But it wasn’t until 2 months ago when you found out a hack.

You see, your room had a BIGG ass window going straight into his backyard. Windows tinted by your careful parents that didn’t want your previous neighbor accidentally peaking through.

You could see out, while he couldn’t see in, and it was perfect. You viewed him from a distance when he was outside just kinda doing whatever. Mowing his small patch of grass, sunbathing, working on whatever carpentry thing he was doing, or even catching him working out a bit.

And every time you looked outside was another time when you had to bite back a moan and stop yourself from thinking something perverted, still, your thoughts got the better of you always and you would always just have to calm that itch.

Don’t get me wrong! Every time after you felt guilty, but DAMN WAS HE FINE. As you were knuckles deep you couldn’t stop imagining what he would actually be like. Was he one of those rough lovers? Or was he gentle? You couldn’t, and honestly, didn’t wanna know. You basked in the fact that you knew almost nothing about his personal life, and that left an open hole for you to fill.

Now it’s Spring Break, like I said over a dozen times. The breeze was cool and it wasn’t hot, at all, thank the lord. You opened the window to catch it, staring up at the clouds before going right back to scrolling on your phone. The house being a bit quiet since your parents were out on a little getaway while your brother stayed playing games in the room across from yours.

In your little daze you had then heard the sound of a door shutting and a radio being turned on. The song playing was just something old school, you couldn’t really tell, but it was kinda catchy.

Turning your head to the window you then saw him in his backyard. Tight grey t-shirt, a pair of dark denim jeans, and boots? Oh whatever you weren’t gonna judge. Judging no, but staring, yeah. You watched as he sat in an old chair, chiseling away at some wood sculpture he’s got going on.

Every time he chipped down on that thing you just couldn’t rope your eyes away from his fatass forearms and biceps. And that watch on his wrist made you CRAZYYYY.

No more watching, you thought, no more. You needed to talk to him, I mean, you knew he probably wouldn’t think something like that of you but, it was just friendly talk? Right? And you didn’t wanna lose a chance considering how many ladies were after him. I mean, there was no way, all the moms, married and divorced fancied him a bit too much. Even your own mom had said something about his looks.

“Hi Mr. Miller!!”

You yelped from your window, heart racing. He looked around for a minute, wondering where the hell it was coming from before his attention turned to you and he sighed in relief.

“Phew.. Oh hey hon, thought the angels were callin’ me for a minute.. How ‘ya doin’?”

Your heart pumped more than it should.

“Fi-Fine Mr. Miller!! Just wanted to feel the breeze today, I really like the Spring ‘cause of it!!”

Stuttering over your words you itched, hoping you didn’t sound stupid. Thankfully no one else heard around you, just him and you alone, it felt, romantic almost to talk to him from between a window and a brick fence.

“Yeah, yeah the weather is real good ‘round here.. But what’cha doin? Shouldn’t ya be at classes?..”

You shook your head.

“No no, I’m on break!”

You would be out with friends right now, but they were all busy for the first few days so you had a lotta free time. He gave you an ‘aaa’ and nodded, smiling cause he forgot something so obvious. There was a moment of quiet, a moment of just radio silence between you two before you spoke up.

“Would you like a popsicle? We have cherry, blue raspberry, lemon, or grape!!”

Please say yes please say yes…

“Well I wouldn’t mind allat much, come on over.. Oh and, any is fine..”

YESSSSSSSS!!

You nodded and closed your window, quickly grabbing two of them from the fridge before stopping at the door.

“Imma bring the neighbor a snack!! Don’t worry if I’m gone too long!!!”

You yelled to your brother before he dismissed you.

The gate that entered into his backyard was right next to your own front door so it wasn’t hard to get in. Slipping through the opened bars as you placed both treats down on his table.

“Hi Mr. Miller..”

You already said that, stupid. You beat yourself up. He looked you up and down, not judging, just kind of analyzing your look. You weren’t the most dressed if being honest. But like why would you? You were lazing around at home so all you were gonna be wearing was a loose striped tank and lounge shorts. He’s lucky this wasn’t one of those days where you were just in your underwear.

“Hi darlin’”

He smiled before taking one off the table. Unwrapping the white packaging to reveal a grape one. He smiled and licked a line, then took a big chunk outta it. Eugh. I mean, you could get used to it.

He let the stick rest in his hands as he sighed a good relief.

“Shoot.. Didn’t know how much I needed that, thanks sugar..”

He smiled.

Andddddd your panties already wanted to drop to the floor.

“Oh no problem Mr. Miller, I mean, you were all hot so I couldn’t just leave you there.. We have a whole ton, we just kinda don’t get around to eating them all..”

He nodded, watching you as you began to unwrap yours as well. Cherry. And now he knew he had to be subtle with his looks.

Unconsciously you began to suck the popsicle like any normal human being, but something inside you said to make it super extra. And you weren’t gonna stop your mind. So you did, making a bit of extra noise as you engulfed in the cherry flavor. Letting it go with a pop and resting it along your tongue.

Aw man.. It was gonna be harder to hold back than he wanted it to be. Ya see, Joel was an honest and polite man. WHO hadn’t been with a woman in many years. And if being honest, he sorta thought you were cute ever since he moved in. Watching you stand awkwardly next to your welcoming family and toying with the fabric of your hoodie on that cold Winters day. And ever since then he savored every moment he saw you.

On your way to class every morning? He made sure he was up early enough to see it. Coming home in the evening? Finding every excuse to be outside. And by doing so he managed to notice very subtle things about you. He noticed how in the mornings you would stumble on your porch steps going down. And when you’d come back sometimes you forgot to roll up your window.

He got so desperate to see you more that sometimes he’d drop by to ask your mom or dad if they wanted to have a barbecue. But you were always busy with class or friends, your brother the same if not on his computer, and your parents at work. He tried many many times, but every time no luck. So now that he was getting the chance to finally see you after some brief meetings. AND SO CLOSE, AND SUCKING A POPSICLE. Like a dream come true.

Also. Those windows. You see, tinted windows work good, unless there is an inner light source. Usually he couldn’t see in, but when even a lamp was on, he could just barely make out your body. Sneaking glimpses while in his backyard as he watched you change, just barely being able to make out the arch of your back and the plumpness of your boobs. You, of course were completely oblivious because “oh I have tinted windows he can’t see”

He saw you do many things other than change too like: study, draw, dance, take pictures of yourself, normal stuff But what he was super guilty about, he’d caught you masturbating. It was supposed to be a one time thing when he saw you do it, but every single time you did, you kept those curtains open and a lamp on.. And he couldn’t help but he see. He hated that he saw, and he hated how rock hard it got him… He hated how perverted to made him feel, hating how he would have to palm himself in his jeans while inconspicuously staring. Yet, he loved how you looked when you did it.

Back on the popsicle thing, the act in itself wasn’t dirty, but this old man had thoughts and these thoughts were dangerous. His mind wandered to you sucking his dick, he wanted to know what it would feel like for your pouty lips to wrap around the length. Biting his tongue, he took another nibble at his own popsicle, gripping the stick in frustration.

This was gonna be a long talk if he kept imagining you like this, he couldn’t just latch on, no way a girl as pretty as yourself would be down with an old man like him. But, that’s all you wanted. You wanted him as much as he wanted you and that’s what made it awkward.

You kept on with the popsicle, dragging it down your mouth and almost choking on it. When he saw, and heard it, it was almost like his whole world was about to collapse and he could feel his pants get a bit tight. He tried to tuck it under his palm, and even pull his shirt down, but no luck. He knew it was sorta obvious, and he hoped and prayed you didn’t notice. But it was hard. And painful to see and hear you going crazy on that thing. Thank the lord his morals were strong because if they were any weaker, he’d jump all over you and admit his feelings right then and there.

“Well- Why don’t ya come inside?.. I need to go in anyway and grab my sandpaper..”

He needed a distraction so he could get this thing away.

He almost stuttered, and that made him all the more attractive. You liked how real he seemed, he wasn’t all tough and angry and shallow all the time, he was just someone.

And with a quick nod you stepped in through his sliding glass door. Inside was, cute actually. Think of like a house stuck in 2008, that’s what it was. Something of the sort you’d see in a Tuscan style home.

A warm yellow light emitted from the lamp and everything was a bit messy, but it seemed so perfectly messy that you thought it was set up. Lining the walls you saw pictures of him, his daughters, and pictures of them together. Then the trophies they won, it was cute to see all of them in a nice glass display, which mind you, looked freshly dusted so you knew he cared a LOT about those girls.

“I’ll be searchin’ for it, don’t go lookin’ where you shouldn’t alright?..”

He gave you a lopsided smile, you nodded and sat down on his couch. Swaying your feet back and forth to distract from the fact you were IN HIS HOUSE. A glimpse into his more personal life.

As soon as he saw you sit down he ran into his bathroom and locked the door. Taking a few deep breaths, he fumbled with the zipper of his jeans and almost ripped his boxers. Letting his cock out, he leaned back against the cold marble sink. It was wrong. It was dirty to jerk off to the memory of you sucking a popsicle, guilt overwhelmed him, but something else overwhelmed him and that was lust.

He hadn’t been this hard in a longgg time. He forgot how painful the strain was, and he forgot just how sensitive it got. Using his left hand to cover his mouth he gripped the base, jolting before aggressively stroking it. He had a pattern for this kinda thing, and a specific way he did it because he knew it felt good. But not with you, not now. The throbbing hurt so bad that he just HAD to go off the rails. Thrusting his hips into his hand to match the pace.

“You feel too good darlin’..”

His muffled groans not going unnoticed by you. He didn’t realize how loud he was. But they just kind of sounded like frustration from your distance. And they were, but not in the way that you thought. And damn if those noises weren’t making you wet. A small buzz of pleasure roped through your body and into your mind when you heard those groans. Imagining all sorts of dirty things and your daydreams were gonna go CRAZY now that you knew what he could sound like.

Thighs clenching together you fought the urge to touch yourself. That would be gross, your in his living room, on his couch, in his home, listening to some non specific groaning noises. Touching yourself to that would be obscene. But. He was taking a long time, you could just rub yourself over your lounge shorts. Like, he wouldn’t even notice!!

Slowly you looked around and spread your legs. Hands traveling to the thin material outside of the shorts. Your head turned left and right, trying to make sure sure you wouldn’t get caught. Your hands finally reached the apex of your thighs as you rubbed in neat circles, listening to the non discript groaning from down the hall. A twitch shakes your legs before you finally get a pattern going, clockwise and then counter-clockwise.

You’d imagined him on top of you before, it wasn’t a crazy thing to imagine, but something about this was more evil and made you feel even nastier. You were in his house, listening to him. That was crazy, this was crazy in itself but it didn’t seem to matter or care. You used your free hand to grip onto the throw blanket just kind of hanging off the cushions and stabilized yourself.

Meanwhile he was gripping onto his lower jaw to make sure he didn’t let out a moan that could shake the whole house. Precum dripped down from his tip and his breath was heavy and heaving.

“Her lips.. Her lips.. Damnnit why couldn’t she just bring me a soda or something.. Why’d it hafta be a popsicle..”

Mumbling on and on to himself while you were making sure nothing left your mouth. Hoping and praying that the door wouldn’t swing open all of a sudden and that he could see you doing this. The shorts not much more of a layer than your panties, so you pretty much felt it right on you.

You could feel the wetness on your panties stick to your skin. And how the fabric acted as a second skin considering how thin it was. You could even feel the hardness of your clit when you rubbed.

“Mr. Miller…”

A moan escaped your lips.

You heard the groaning stop, the sound of a sink being turned on and off, and the sound of a lock being fumbled with.

AHHHHH

Quickly, faster than you ever had before you jolted upright and threw the blanket to the side. Rubbing your hand on your tank top just incase and flattening your hair down so it didn’t look like you had just been jerking on his couch.

He walked out, disheveled and panting. His pants a bit crinkled, belt gone, and his right hand soaked in water?

“Coul— Couldn’t seem to find the sandpaper.. Any-anyway why’d ya call? Somethin’ happen? Ya see a roach?”

He could have used that to jerk off more, but he knew that it would get way too obvious if he stayed in there so long.

He stared you up and down, raising a brow at your frazzled appearance. As well as the fact that your tank top was bunched up at the bottom, while simultaneously the strap on your left shoulder was falling down and almost revealed your chest.

“You alright?.. You look like you just swam for the Olympics.. And you look a little warm..”

He began to get closer.

“I’m fine.. But.. Why is one of your hands wet..?”

You looked at him with curious eyes, there were two reasonable explaintions. The sandpaper was in a tub of water, or his hand got super dirty while looking so he had to wipe it off. But. Another reason that seemed more likely came to your mind.

No way he was touching himself though? Thats stupid. Why would he? It’s just you and him around.

“Well I asked you first didn’t I? So why? Why ar’ you soundin’ like you just did 20 laps?..”

He was well played. And you had to lie. Something logical.

“Well.. I saw a bug and I ran around trying to avoid it.. Plus it was mad hot..”

He gave you a knowing look.

“The AC is well and on. And I don’t get bugs. Trust me I’d know..”

He got more suspicious now.

He sighed and sat down next to you, leaning back against the fabric and giving you a gentle smile.

“Look if you were snoopin’ and didn’t wanna get caught, I’d rather you just sa—“

“I was touching myself.”

You blurted out.

Silence.

“Haa?”

You weren’t that good at keeping secrets, or lying. It left such a guilty conscience on your mind that you just always HAD to let it out. Popping his ear just to clear.

“Repeat that for me again? Didn’t— AHEM— Didn’t quite hear that..”

He took a deep cough in the middle of his sentence. Hoping and praying what you said was a fluke. But deep down. He wanted it to be true.

“I was.. Touching.. Myself.”

Guilt racked you and made you admit it. He furrowed his brows together in confusion and began to chuckle. Slapping his knee as his cheeks filled with a slight blush. He couldn’t BELIEVE what this girl had just said. And why?!

“FOR WHY?!”

He gave you a smile and was trying not to laugh. But damn was he bad at that. He only laughed because this was so awkward. You were looking down at your thighs in shame and regret. To make sure he didn’t see those tears of embarrassment, and to make sure you didn’t leave a wet stain on his couch.

“I don’t wanna tell.. It’s too embarrassing..”

Majorly strained voice, no higher than a whisper. He patted your back.

“Look I ain’t gonna tell your family, so just spit it out.. Whatever ya say is safe with me, Kay”

His warm look was enough to make you wanna say everything.

“I heard you.. Groaning and when I did I just kinda.. Went from there and.. Maybe it’s cause I always thought you were nice looking, but I couldn’t help myself.”

Oversharing.

“I’m reallll sorry Mr. Miller…”

His look got even more confused when he listened to your explanation. You thought he was ATTRACTIVE?! His heart burst but he had to keep quiet.

Clearing his throat he shook his head.

“Look.. It’s okay.. It’s normal for college kids to have weird crushes like this.. No big deal. I won’t tell nobody just.. Just don’t do something wreckless again like that, a’right? And especially not in their house..”

You nodded. He smiled and you smiled.

“I didn’t cum.. If that makes you feel any better”

He almost died right then and there.

“And why are you tellin’ me that?”

Quiet. This was like some bad porno. To be honest you wanted it to end that way.

“What? You tellin’ me you didn’t cum so I can finish the job?..”

You nodded.

“Maybe..”

His face got even more confused, as well as shocked. WHAT. This was a joke, some sick kinda joke that would end up on the internet.

He shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. Giving a lopsided smile he exhaled.

“Oh quit playin’.. This isn’t what you want.. I’m sure there’s some nice, smart, intellectual college boy you’ve got wrapped round ya finger..”

You never found the boys at your college attractive. I mean, some of them were mighty fine. But none of them like him. None of them had that same southern twang, none of them had that muscle to them, none of them had grey around the beard and the scalp.

None of them were him.

“Didn’t wan’ em.. Didn’t fit my criteria, they didn’t look like you..”

He itched at his head. Crouching over and resting his shoulders on his knees. What the hell WHAT THE HELLLLL. This was a test of his morals. Sure they were strong, stronger than anyone you had ever met. But. He was weak when it came to a pretty thing like yourself.

His mind flashed with images of you before this incident. Seeing you walk out the house with a ribbon in your hair and watching it almost fly off in the breeze. The bandana you wore like some kinda farm girl on the way to the store. That gaze you gave him during one of your neighborhood block parties from afar. How you wouldn’t latch your eyes off of him while taking a sip of your soda.

Then it hit him. You were always looking for, or looking at him. Atleast, during the times you came across each other. He remembered it now. 

Your stares when he mowed his lawn. Batting your lashes at him when you came over to borrow some batteries. That extra long look you gave him before getting in your car, taking a rather long time to get into the drivers seat.

And how all those times you bit your lip when you caught him fixing something in his front yard. It wasn’t just his imagination. It was real, a sign almost to OH LORD SHE WANTS ME.

He sat up and sighed, looking at your unsuspecting face just kind of admiring his features.

“Okay, alright.. Tell ya what. I’ll.. Finish you off. But don’t expect it to be good.. I’m all rusty on my skills.. AND. You cannot tell NOBODY.”

You looked even more shocked what he said yes. WHAT. You thought you were gonna get kicked out, or worse, he’d tell your family and they’d totally throw you out. NOT THAT HE WAS GONNA HELP YOU BUST?!

He studied your expression. Waiting for a “yes”, or a “no ew back the hell up old perv”

But the look you gave him was worse. It was needy, a downturned brows kinda look with a pouty lip.

“I don’t expect nothing big.. I just want you.. Please Mr. Miller.. If it’s not too much trouble.. I won’t tell anybody, not anyone at all..”

GRAHHHHH. That look on your face and your tone made him fall all over himself and want to loose it. But he stayed strong.

“Right. Uh.. Shorts off, leave them panties on..”

He got nervous. And you could already tell how tight his jeans were getting.

You nodded, shimmying off that flimsy excuse for shorts and leaving them on his floor. Spreading your legs and sitting. Just waiting.

He knew he had to be gentle. No way someone like you could handle something rough is what ran through his mind.

He got closer. Grabbing you by your waist and settling you on his left leg. He lifted you like you were a vine of grapes. RELEASE MEEE.

Letting his left hand rest on your ass while the other gentle began to itch up your thigh. He noticed the wet stain on your panties. So you weren’t lying.

“You know how these things go right?.. I’d assume so..”

You knew, from fanfiction and the internet of course. And even in real time. You didn’t have many encounters with sex, maybe once or twice, but never had they given you what you wanted.

“Mhm.. I’ll be good..”

Whispering to him. He groaned.

“Jesus you can’t say stuff like that..”

You felt the bulge in his pants. Holy flip.

Well, feel was an overstatement. It was lightly grazing you. But even from that graze you could already tell he was ROCKKKK.

His hand finally stopped roaming up your thigh and slipped to the waistband of your cream colored panties. Pulling them down so they stopped at your knee. He watched as you spread them wider, slightly grinding into the fabric of his jeans and his muscular thigh.

“I’m gonna start now..”

He took a deep breath and brought his middle and pointer finger to your sopping cunt. Not putting them in but just feeling around at your folds.

You gasped, still sensitive from just a few minutes ago. You looked down, watching his move them around and gather up your arousal on his digits. His grip on your ass firm.

He began to lead his fingers round your clit, running circles clockwise, then counterclockwise. It was like your usual pattern, but for some reason, it felt so much more intense. You fought back your moans, trying not to scream out his name just yet.

He noticed this and began to press firmly against your clit, causing a shock to your body that made your jerk.

“Now stop all that.. No one’s home and you’re not gonna be that loud to the point the neighbors are gonna hear.. If you keep holding back those noises I’ll stop right now..”

His voice got gruff. Like his jaw was clenching or something. You gave him a nod and started to let out soft whimpers. Soft whimpering that seemed so loud because you were so damn close. So close that when you leaned back for support he was right there, a strong body for you to rest on while he did the work.

He applied pressure on your clit by pinching your pussy together. Honestly you couldn’t even consider it pinching because it was so gentle. Hips wriggling, it was an involuntary action.

His technique was good, and his calloused fingers added a bit of texture to it too. He wasn’t rusty at all. I mean. He could go pro with it, and that was just from his FINGERS.

Your breathing got heavy and you turned your eyes to the side, pleading with him silently.

He got the message, snaking his fingers down to your hole before he put his middle finger in. So he was the slow type. The type that took his time with ladies. And you lived for that. You lived for a man that could wait. And he was willing to wait all he wanted, just for you to cum.

His middle finger rested there. Setting in between your walls before he moved it out and in inch by inch. He started slow, not moving it out too much, more just shaking it inside. But as he noticed you relax, that’s when he began to really put in the work.

His fingers were thick, like, hella thick. So you already felt pretty full. Hand gripping his grey tee as your mouth fell agape, you couldn’t believe how it felt. It didn’t feel real in all honesty.

“Feels like your bouta’ rip my finger off..”

He looked down at your hands, your fingers not small, but not nearly as big and thick as his. He pitied you for that. He thought, if you had just come to him sooner, he’d help you out. He’d soothe the ache between this poor girls legs.

He laughed, pushing that middle digit in and out. This time, eliciting actual moans from you rather than just whimpers. This was his way of coaxing you into it, opening you up, stretching you out type thing.

“Were you turnin’ that light on and leaving the curtains open on purpose?..”

He instigated, gaining a bit of confidence by the way you were reacting to his consistent pace. You could just HEARRR it in his tone, not cocky, just more self assured in his ways. Slowly but surely he began to tease the second finger around. Not putting it in just yet but waiting for the right moment.

“Well.. Did ya?.. I won’t tell.. Just admit it. You left it open on purpose huh?..”

You couldn’t even register what he was talking about before he slipped the his pointer finger in as well. Now being filled up twice as much as before. You moaned, loud. Loud enough for it to give a small echo.

“I-I didn’t mean to.. I just—-I guess I did want you to see at some point..”

You shamefully admitted. Barely able to speak through that last moan. At some point you did just stop caring if he saw or not. You didn’t mind. You just didn’t expect him to be looking.

He nodded. Then began pumping his fingers inside again. He watched as your eyes glued shut and your mouth stayed open. Letting out terrible noises you would have never thought would come out.

“This fulfill your little nighttime fantasy?.. Your fantasy of getting finger-fucked by your neighbor who’s way too old to be doin’ this? Yeah? That it?”

He started to get really talkative, and the more he talked the more he pumped. The pace was getting fast and it wasn’t painful at all. It felt like heaven. You felt full with just his two fingers deep inside and his coarse palm rubbing against your clit. He would pump, then break to cup your warmth, then keep pumping again. He was even better than you imagined.

“Mhm mhm!!”

You nodded in ecstasy. Your squirming became unbearable and you were unconsciously grinding into his thigh. Leaving a fairly noticeable wet spot on the denim jeans that he would enjoy looking at later.

“Full Mr. Miller…”

Whining out. But that was the opposite. It was too little. You hadn’t even came yet but you knew that when you did, it wouldn’t be enough. His fingers were good, but they could only last you so long before you needed something bigger. You didn’t wanna be greedy though, so you tried to shut your mouth.

“Aww I know I know.. Angel can’t handle it can she?..”

You hadn’t seen this side of him. He wasn’t being mean or condescending. But he was being talkative, and, not all awkward or lonesome. He was good at dirty talk, dangerously good. His fingers began to do a scissoring motion inside of you which made your body tense and shift on his lap.

He kissed your cheek softly. Going from there to down the side of your neck and resting on the back where he left soft pecks and little love bites. He was careful though, careful not to make anything too noticeable.

“Can’t hold it.. Mr. Miller please-“

You pleaded. You had felt your body tighten in a specific way that you knew. Throwing your head back against his shoulder he lifted his head up and nodded.

Chuckling innocently before ramming his fingers in as deep as they could, before pumping them in and out and in and out. He knew and he just wanted to mess with you for a little. Almost immediately after he gave you the go you came undone. Back arching up and body bucking into his palm, throwing your hips in rotation to ride out your orgasm.

And he watched it alll. He knew how you looked when you came, but this was with an added kick because he was right here, and the one doing it. Made him prideful. He waited till you came down back on his thigh again before pulling them out and tapping your wet sex with his palm.

It was between a tap and a slap, not hard, but not soft. It let a few extra jolts to come out of your body and even gave him a couple mewls of pleasure.

You caught your breath, letting yourself go limp against him. Turning your head fully to face him he turned to face you as well.

And you looked a mess.

Frazzled hair, droopy-teary eyes, downturned brows, a line of drool seeping from the side of your lips. All that combined with your heaving chest and dripping slit, he couldn’t have wanted a better sight.

He took his wet fingers and brought them to his lips. Licking them clean.

You always had cringed at the thought of someone doing that, but now you started seeing the appeal..

“You did so good sugar.. Took it so well..”

He patted your stomach.

Smiling.

But..

“Mr. Miller..”

“Yeah?”

“Fuck me.”

Your voice way needy, strained, and desperate. As well as coming out of the blue. He gave you wide eyes and a reassuring stare.

“I don’t think you can handle it.. You’re worn out and I don’t want you to over-exhaust yourself.. It might hurt..”

He was so kind, so genuine. But you didn’t care about that right now. Right now, what you needed was to bounce on it crazy style.

“Mr. Miller, please I really need it.. I was good wasn’t I?.. I took it all in without complaining..”

In his eyes, that was a heck of a good argument. He sighed and smiled. Resting you against the couch before standing up, stretching his back like he had strained it or whatever. Old man..

He then walked over to the side table next to the couch, rummaging through before finding a silver packaged condom.

You watched his hands go to the zipper of his pants, unzipping the fly and hopping out of his jeans. Then bringing his boxers down to his knees slowly, his cheeks turning a soft red.

“Been a while since someone’s seen me all nude.. Ain’t nothin’ impressive..”

Nothing impressive was such a fat lie. IT LOOKED LIKE IT WAS HEAVYYYYY. Around 6 inches, but thick in girth, with a vein running up the side.

He didn’t shave, no surprise there. Didn’t really expect him to anyway.

“It’s not gonna fit, no way no way…”

You gasped, he chuckled, blushing even more at almost nothing.

He grabbed the condom again and ripped the packaging with ease, taking it out and slowly putting it on his length. And that thing was SOLID. It scared you a TON. He was hung, and thick, a dangerous combination.

He walked closer towards you, grabbing from under your armpits and lifting you too him.

“Up and at ‘em..”

He smiled, once again lifting you like you didn’t weigh a single pound.

Your head spun when he did, still a bit woozy from just having an orgasm not more than 6 minutes ago. He made you wrap your legs round his waist, one hand holding you by your waist while the other cradled the back of your head in such a doting way.

“I’m bouta put it in.. But slow, can’t have you in pain now can I?”

He leaned over to kiss under your eye.

He slowly began to adjust you to line your hole up with his dick. You whined, even just that small amount of contact made you all sensitive. His smirk got bigger before he slowly placed the tip in.

And when he did, IT HURTTT. Like I said he was girthy, so it already felt like he was splitting you down the middle.

You leaned into him, head burying against his shoulder and nails leaving crescent shaped indents on his back through the shirt. He patted your back, whispering.

“Ya want me to take the time, or just get it all over with?”

“All— All over with.. Pleasth..”

Your words came out in a drunk tone, with most of your pronunciation being slurred through pain and pleasure.

Anxiously, he let both his hands firmly grip your waist, digging his fingers into the soft of your skin.

You heard him mumble to himself “3, 2, 1!..” and as soon as it hit one he pushed it all in. Using his stupidly strong arms to pull you down onto him completely.

It was such a strange feeling, a sharp pain. A full feeling dwelled within you. Your mouth fell agape and bit into his clothed shoulder. A circular spit stain left on the grey color. The crescents on his back got deeper, he felt them prick and just hoped you didn’t knick his skin. Tears fell from the corners of your eyes, slowly making yourself turn your head up to face him with a teary and pained expression.

Now looking at him. And here you were.

Where you had wanted to be for the part 4 months.

He saw the tear and have you a pouty smile, kissing it away before then going to kiss your cheek, then the cheek kiss got lower and fully reached your lips. He pulled you into an intense kiss, tongue wrapping around his as you kissed him back with that same amount of passion.

He could smell your candy scented perfume and you swore he got harder, might’ve been impossible but you swore it happened

He had all the skills for intimacy, but he never got to use it. And now he was finally getting it to good use. The deeper he kissed you the more you felt your eyes roll back, not closed anymore, but barely able to see anything except the ceiling and pure white.

He pulled away from the kiss regretfully, but needing to catch his breath or else he’d suffocate and die.

“How’s it feel? Still hurtin’?”

Taking a hand to place on top of your head, he really was a caring man. And on top of that he was big. Arms big, legs big, cock big, it was all too good to be true.

“A little..”

You winched, it was painful but by the second the pain was slowly melting away the more you got used to be.

“If it’s too much I’ll pull out—“

You shook your head. You both stayed there for a moment. His hands holding you up while your arms wrapped around the back of his neck. Staring into each others soul. His barely hanging on expression while you already looked fucked out. It was peaceful, till he gripped your waist again and shot you a look.

You took the look and understood, giving him the thumbs up before slowly pulling you up. Whining in pain, but the pain was only a little by this time. Now it was just pleasure.

Watching as he began to slowly bounce you up and down, it started small, not pulling you up any much more than an inch. Watching as the veins on his hands begin to pop out as he held himself back and held you up.

He reached the deepest part of your walls, tears spilling from your eyes from the intense warm feeling. He watched them fall.

“Aw it’s okay.. You’re alright baby.. I’m here I’m here..”

He spoke with that reassuring tone that itched the best place inside of you, you didn’t know why. He was so kind in this moment, so different than the people you had previously been with. Maybe this was why people liked older guys? How they knew how to treat a lady, how they knew which spots to hit. Sniffling, you wiped your eyes. It didn’t really stop the water works but it stilled them for a moment.

“Move me more… I wanna move more, more..”

Whiny, needy, and pathetic tone. Wanting to hold onto something, so your hand ran through the back of his hair.

Shaking his head again, like some type of habit he repositioned his hands. Both of them held the area under your knees and gripped to keep it stable. Slowly, he began to bounce you up and down. With every single thrust you felt so incredibly full. Like your walls were molding to fit his.

It was so weird..

To hear the noises, to hear his labored breathing, to hear your own moans. It was so scary when you realized that he was literally actually seriously fucking you. How the hell were you gonna explain this to your family? Friends even..

But that was pushed to the back part of your mind when you felt his pace quicken a bit inside of you. You didn’t know how he could do that, I mean, you were airborne, and he was able to bounce you crazy. Something about you made his stamina grow back x20. He did watch porn on the occasion, but got tired of it real fast. It was so fake, so stupid, but you. You were real. You were able to give him that crazy hard on from just a gaze.

“That fast enough for ya doll?.. Yeah, ain’t it?..”

A deep chuckle came from his throat. This is what he needed. Sure he wasn’t that guy that only chased after girls below his age, and when he first began to realize how cute you were he was completely wracked with anguish. Now that was all down the drain with your pussy wrapped round his cock, begging and crying for him.

You could barely respond to his question, if you did open your mouth all you’d do was moan. So you lazily nodded as he bucked his hips into your own. The hair above his cock and his happy trail rubbing against your clit every time he bounced you up and down. It added an extra sensation that warmed your nerves.

You were slick, messy, dirty, your tank top barely hanging on with every last string of fabric. And he was no better. He was even worse if you could go that far.

His pace relentless. Upper arms tightening and veins popping out every single time. His shirt sleeves almost ripping. You felt like a ragdoll the way he was moving you. And worst of all, you liked feeling like a ragdoll.

Suddenly you felt your back get a bit warm, his ac was on, so what was that about? Then you noticed the light reflecting off his skin that wasn’t covered by you. In fear you turned your head around to see the window WIDE OPEN NO CURTAINS WHATSOEVER.

It was on the side of his house so you didn’t have to worry too much about that, but something else wracked you. Heart dropping when you realized his living room window faced almost directly across from your brothers bedroom window. He noticed your expression and turned to see it too.

But. He didn’t stop…

Infact his grip got even worse to the point where you thought red hand marks were gonna be left under your legs.

“Ahh he ain’t gonna notice.. Too busy on the game..”

You protested, well, almost protested before he clicked his tongue. Taking his left and gripping your lower jaw to turn his face towards him. The grip was firm but not painful, just very stern. He wanted you to look at him, and he wanted you to look at him real good. To distract you from everything else and to only look at him. I mean. He was the one inside of you.

The risk of getting caught only heightened the experience. Teary eyes staining his grey fabric and hands. He continued to pound into you like a man starved, cause he was. The sound of wet skin slapping filled his living room and the smell of both your signature scents were a nice mix to eachother. But you could barely breathe so how were you gonna be able to tell?

“Should’a made a move on me angel.. You can’t even imagine how cute you are to me..”

Feverish tone, with every pump elicited a guttural moan. Globs of spit oozed from the side of your mouth and your hair bounced with every thrust. Tears couldn’t falling. It was so intimate. You felt the insides of your body tighten and a familiar hot feeling take over your body.

That same feeling you felt when you were just about done touching yourself. But this time it felt more intense, like it hurt.

Your pussy tightened around his twitching length as your gaze tried to focus on his.

“Gonnacumgonnacumgonnacum pleasepleasepleaseplease…”

You begged quicker than you ever had before in your life. Even though you were majorly out of breath, and your vision blurred, you knew you had to hold on to make sure this orgasm really counted.

“You can you can.. I’m right here so cum..”

He used that warm tone and reached a hand down in between your legs, careful not to lose his balance with one hand and drop you. His fingers began to move back and forth around your clit while the pace got heavy and fast.

He was evil for that, evil for his fingers on your clit and evil for the pace change. And then it hit.

This was unlike any kind of orgasm you had ever done to yourself before. Not like the ones with your vibrator, not like the ones with your finger, and not like the ones with your previous relationships. This was something entirely and completely strange, more intense.

The wave of pleasure hit you like a ton of bricks. Your mouth fell open and your eyes rolled to the very back of your head. You could swear you saw stars. Body twitching, hands gripping tightly to his shirt, and toes curling. You couldn’t stop twitching for what felt like hours, but in reality it was probably just a few seconds. A stifled moan left your mouth that was silent, loud moan, silence, and then a loud moan again. Like your voice was scratchy.

He stared at you when you came, and he thought you were the prettiest thing of them all. Even with red eyes and saliva dribbling down your chin. He couldn’t tear his eyes off the glossy sheen in your pupils. The tear drops staining your half fallen tank top, his hands, your legs, and his own t shirt. A bead of sweat dripped down your forehead, shining on your skin. You couldn’t stop crying. Not because of pain, but pleasure, overwhelming, aching pleasure.

The intense emotions too. You had just come on your neighbors dick? The neighbor you wanted but thought you could never have.

You regained most of your sight as you latched yourself into his body, skin to skin as he was almost pushed back onto his sofa. But he stood his ground, letting you wrap your arms around him as he did the same. Didn’t stop him from rutting into you though.

“Ya done good girl..”

He spoke in a gruff way before his thrusts got incredibly sloppy. Overall stopping when his full length was completely wrapped around your body. He felt his own orgasm shiver every last nerve. Something about the way you clung into him after you had just came made him cum even faster. If he really wanted to, he could have gone for hours without cumming but he knew that would be selfish and he didn’t want you to wait it out for that long.

When his breath stilled and your breathing was just about controlled. He stumbled back and sat on his cushions. Not worrying how his bare skin was against it. He’d worry about that next time.

“I’m gonna pull out-“

He mumbled. When you did your grip on his body only got stronger and he laughed. Doing that stupid shaking head habit before realizing you were ATTACHED to him. He slowly began to move you up. Body limp so it was easier to move you.

Groaning and trying not to get hard again he did it slowly, you couldn’t help but moan and whine. You could have stayed with it inside you forever, but you knew it was better. He watched himself finally be released from your walls and he took off the latex condom. Tying it tightly and putting it somewhere on the floor. Not bothering it leave it anywhere else, because it sure as hell wasn’t gonna go on any kind of surface.

You both sat there. Tops on but bottoms off. You clingy closely to him while crying into his broad shoulder.

“Awh now why’re ya still cryin’? I wasn’t that bad, was I?”

He joked, but it was laced with worry, patting your back to calm you.

You shook your head.

“Mm mm.. Jus’.. Dunno..”

You didn’t know why you got so quiet, or why you couldn’t stop crying. You weren’t sad or nothing.

“Than’ yu…”

Words slurred and the aftershocks barely hit you. He stayed right there, still tapping your back. One because no way he was gonna get you off of him, but also because he wanted to be there. He wanted you to cling to him. He liked the feeling of your body on his.

“Your welcome lil’ lady…”

Still catching his breath. He used his free palm to press against his forehead.

“Ya gonna keep that window open from now on.. ‘Kay?.. Ya got that?..”

You nodded.

“Mhm.. I will.. I will…”

“Right on, angel.”

E.N: Holy flip this took me 20 trillion years. I LAUV JOEL MILLER I LAUV JOEL MILLER I LAUV JOEL MILLER. Let’s just sayyyyy I’m gonna lock in and keep writing. Next topic; GETO 🤤🤤. Also ignore how freaking chopped and rushed the ending is like I just didn’t know how to end it 💔💔💔💔💔🥀🥀🥀🥀

[venussaidso]

You know, I think I'm understanding my Ashwini placement even more. Because tell me why I can't stop my brain from generating ideas, from analyzing and from having this rush to write write write write write write and consume and create unplanned stuff till I stay up at 2 AM. Like it's not that I like overworking myself, no I don't. It's actually pretty infuriating, like this sudden impatience, this rush, this thrill, the thinking and the headaches... it won't stop lmaoo and I feel anger in the mix too. I used to be told to slow down by my friends and I really don't think I can— the remedy to this is meditation or exercise, which helps a lot if you have Ashwini placement, I know I know.

ANYWAY I'm posting an essay I made overnight lmaoooooo sorry this is my last time talking about Ketu nakshatras I PROMISE

I'm supposed to be on hiatus lolol

Plus the post made me refocus on Ashwini a lot better than I used to. It's very simple and neat.

Also Ashwini the workaholic? No no. Ashwini hates work.

Ashwini the impulsive entity who purposely burns itself out? YES

[stupidlittlespirit]

Ford getting sick and you have to take care of him. hes so stubborn, I bet he refuses to accept that he's sick and even once he does he thinks it won't interfere with his work or anything anyways. minutes later he's passed out at his desk. poor thing. drag him to bed and help him through the fever dreams and unsavory symptoms. doctor, he needs cuddles, stat!

I like to think that once he's returned from the portal, he's got an exceptionally developed immune system. I mention it in Spores (with the death cap thing) and I do think he'd have picked up so many foreign germs that he just kind of becomes super resilient to bugs and stuff in his home dimension, to a certain extent.

BUT, there's nothing funnier to me than imagining him believing this 1000% and never taking precautions, then catching the most regular ass flu and being devastated by it. Like, picture War of the Worlds: all these crazy aliens who are super developed end up dying out because they catch fucking H1N1 LMAOOOOOO

He gets the first twinges of the flu (headaches, soreness etc) and assumes it's just being old/typical chronic pain/because he's been overworking, and so he just ignores it. It's no big deal.

Except, the next day, he wakes up feeling absolutely rotten. Head throbbing, body aching, feeling like he's moving through molasses, sweaty, snotty, just generally disgusting.

Everyone can see that he's poorly, except for Ford. He starts losing his voice because he refuses to shut up and rest his throat, and if he takes the advice then he has to acknowledge that he's unwell. So he refuses. He just goes on in the way he usually does, over explaining things and lecturing until it goes completely. Nothing more than a squeak.

He'll keep working, though. He's just got to power through it, he won't back down! He's in the lab wondering why he's got double vision when he tries to concentrate on his samples and he ends up getting mad at himself for not being able to focus, so he retires to his study in the hopes that maybe he can get some shitty paperwork done.

Which is where, as you say, you find him a few hours later, slumped over his desk, passed the fuck out and drooling on his papers.

You're loathe to move him because he never sleeps this soundly, but he's going to totally fuck up his back if he stays hunched over like that, so you have to very carefully wake him up and gently (but firmly) convince him that he has to go to bed for his own good. I expect his willpower to resist at that point would be very low and so it wouldn't take much.

So you guide him into his bed and fetch him tea and soup and cold medicine, and tend to his needs like the perfect nurse. Maybe he asks you to bring some books to bed because he thinks he'll be bored, but because he's too exhausted to even sit upright, you offer to read them to him until he passes out again.

And I definitely think he'd end up falling asleep on you. He won't outright be vulnerable and ask for a cuddle but he'll allude to it heavily, and you'll pick up what he's putting down because at this point, you've gotten used to his weird communication issues. So you prop yourself up next to him in bed and he snuggles up close.

I do think Ford's a big guy, though, so he'd pin you with his dead weight and you wouldn't be able to move without disturbing him.

Thankfully, he doesn't have any nightmares. I think usually he would but instead of the typical fever dreams most people get when they're suffering a bad flu, Ford gets the reverse: just a dead, black sleep. It ends up being quite pleasant for him and he conks out each night for like 14 hours straight for the first time in like 30 years.

He'd be soooo utterly pathetic and needy; can't do anything for himself and even needs help to be bathed when the flu peaks because he's so weak..... He totally groans and complains non stop, bless him.

When he gets back to normal though, he's totally revitalised and energetic from all the rest and TLC. It's like he's a young man again, raring to go and bouncing off the walls ("I should get sick more often, this is wonderful!").

And then a few days later, when you start sneezing and aching, Ford has to do all the same things for you.... In between several fruitless attempts to synthesize a cure for the common cold just for you. (He fails every time, of course, but he tries his best).

[11queensupreme11]

Ok but like now I'm obsess with Cu Chulainn in pjo, like I imagine him being somehow transported to the pjo world like Percy, apearing in the human world and ending up meeting Percy before the lighting thief (which means she's younger than twelve so a bit 👨‍✈️) and staying with her because he can sense she is a demigod so the only lead he has to the divine world, of course they would both hate it because "you're disgusting" "who the fuck even are you" somehow, it still works and he inserts himself into the story falling for Percy and being bro-zoned by her. The gods of course don't care, they are not racist, they don't give a crap about any demigod in equal measure, and so after Gaia, he finally finds a way back into the ror verse and drags Percy kicking and screaming to his suposed happy ending.

Only for the other yanderes to become yanderes

this is gonna be cu chulainn 90% of the time when he's babysitting and falling in love with percy:

he's so fed up with her danger-prone ass like "bitch STAY STILL FOR ONCE!!!! STOP FUCKING SNEAKING OUT OF CAMP AND GETTING SUCKED INTO DANGEROUS QUESTS! NO YOU WILL NOT BE THE CHILD OF THE PROPHECY IM GETTING OUR ASSES OUT HERE FUCK THIS STUPID UNIVERSE"

but whoops, she's the child of the great prophecy and get this, THERE'S ANOTHER GREAT PROPHECY LMAOOOOO

cu chulainn after finding out there's another great prophecy centered around percy's stupid ass and he has to go through this AGAIN:

i also can't stop thinking about him being brother-zoned, i feel like he would actually lose his fucking shit if that ever happened. like imagine being transferred to another universe with shitty ass gods and weird stupid rules that everyone has to follow (and he's considered an outer god so we all know he HATES rules), babysitting this adorably feral demigod child, living with her, being raised alongside her, falling in love with her and constantly having to protect her because EVERYONE WANTS HER DEAD, and then after all that........

she brother-zones you 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

like you can't even blame percy because she grew up with this guy so OF COURSE she sees him as a big bro, BUT LMAOOOOOO SUCKS FOR CU CHULAINN WHAT A LEWSER 😂 he's just getting Ls after Ls in this universe 😂 i'm surprised he hasn't ripped his hair out at this point 😂😂😂

AND THEN.... he finally finds a way back to his og universe and drags the love of his life kicking and screaming through the bifrost. he's back home, percy's with him, and all is well but BAM six other yanders fall in love with her AND HE'S STILL BEING BROTHER-ZONED 💀💀💀💀💀

(and imagine she's still pining after anthonius too, i bet you he DEFINITELY interrupted the underwater kiss scene after the war 😭 probably just fished her outta the lake and just went "nope not happening" 😭😭😭)

[tenderjock]

#I don't think she'd be ready early/mid s6 but I think you would be able to feel what was unspoken between them the most there#it doesn't even really need to be said. it would just be nice #also yeah spuffsilla getting together first just makes sense to me. they would so make the first move on her

they TOTALLY get together like ... approx the same time period that spike/buffy get together in canon i think? only its not nearly so destructive, its still kinky and rough and not good mindset-y for buffy in particular, but its healthier and more supportive, esp on spike's part. i'm making the executive decision that buffy isnt feeling gross shame about their relationship - she's open with it to tara, at least, and maybe jenny and xander and anya. she's a little less open about the details towards dawn because of the nature of the kinky sex theyre having, and also she tries to talk to willow about it at this point but it results in a LOT of weirdness and jealousy and willow going off on her own and coming back at four a.m., stumbling like she's high and burning little holes in the wallpaper when she touches the walls.

jenny's concerned. she's never had much innate ability - she's always been theory and patterns, stuff like protective spell matrixes, like the spells she wreathes the summers house with*, not raw power like willow has. it's getting dangerous, the things willow is playing with.

he can love her in the quiet way he does, let her feel his arms ready to catch her if she struggles even if he doesn't say the words quite so well.

omwf happens and angel feels gutted because - the scoobies clearly didnt know, sure, but darla and spike and dru clearly did. all of them. and he didnt, buffy didnt tell him. he feels - is it because he is the one who has been to hell? or is it because he is less worthy, less trustworthy? he sulks in it and withdraws and its not until riley comes back that any of it gets resolved.

riley catches buffy with spike and dru, in bed, and its not - its not a secret, okay, but she still doesnt want her ex bf (who she left on bad terms with, who has been embarrassing her at every turn recently) oogling her current whatevers naked and all over her, thankyouverymuch. spike and dru are little assholes about it, which doesnt help. buffy kind of makes her excuses and flees their crypt and wanders the streets of sunnydale.

it starts raining.

she's standing there, in the rain, wishing she had the energy to cry, when angel says, "buffy?" from the basement stairs of the building nearby. she's standing kitty-corner to his and darla's apartment.

buffy goes inside. he makes her a tea. she doesnt drink it, she just curls up in his and darla's bed - she's not in - and they talk, a little. angel admits that he's been worried about her. buffy tells him she's been dreaming terrible things, things that she cant remember when she wakes. angel says he wants what's best for her, and he's not sure he has a part in that. buffy says he's an idiot, and falls asleep in his arms.

shortly after this darla plants a big wet one right on buffy's mouth right in front of everyone (perhaps at xander and anya's wedding? hmm**) and it shocks everyone and buffy is MORTIFIED but also secretly very very pleased and thats! the beginning of the infamous vampire harem

#I feel like I've taken ur au and just decided I am also a part of it so sorry <<<<<< YOU ARE A PART OF IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

theres an au somewhere in which the romani spellcaster that curses angelus doesnt just curse angelus, but rather curses every vampire of the aurelian line in a, say, twelve mile radius to get their soul back.

it's rough, especially for the first few years. spike's the weepiest, but angel takes it the hardest, oddly enough. dru's absolutely nutty over it, but she's always nuts, and anyway, having the three of them to wrangle gives darla something to focus on other than the weight of her sins. they manage.

(one thing she does is research what, exactly, has been done to them. when she finds out about the loophole - even a moment's happiness - there is a gut-lurching second where darla thinks to herself, i can end our agony. and then she thinks of her last kill, a young couple and their toddler. the father had begged darla to spare the little child's life, to take him instead. the mother had clawed at darla, covering her child with her body, screaming as she died.

rather than find that moment's happiness, darla begins new research, looking into ways to secure an immortal soul to a vampire's body permanently. closing the loop, as it were.)

spike eventually gets it into his head that he wants to do the slayer thing - not kill them, like he'd planned, but to help the poor girls. dru gives him the idea. angel leaves them, at that point, in the dead of night, without telling them where he's going. darla lets him go.

there's a girl in peking - xin, her name is, and she's understandably skeptical, but she accepts their help. they fight with her until she dies, a few months later, at the hands of an apocalypse. it breaks spike and dru quite badly - cuts spike's face up, too. darla gets them out, gets them back to europe. leaves them in italy. looks for angel.

she finds him eating rats in new york city, of all places. she shakes some sense into him and gets him some clean clothes, some blood, a place to sleep out of the sun. he's wallowing, which is to be expected, but how does he figure he's going to atone for his sins if he's rotting in the gutter like so much trash?

she's too practical, he tells her. he's too fucking dramatic, she tells him, and makes him eat some more pig's blood, cold.

darla tells him about spike and dru, what they've been up to these past few decades. he shudders when she tells him about xin, her throat ripped out by enemy fangs. angel's intrigued by the concept of helping slayers, but he confesses quietly to darla that he's not ready for that yet.

so they part ways again, with the understanding that they'll stay in touch. darla bounces around the americas, running into spike and dru - sometimes just dru, as spike is off chasing rumors of slayers - until the late 1990s, when she gets a call from angel.

angel's found a girl, and he wants to get the gang back together.

[wisteriainslumber]

twst characters in a haunted house

its a short headcanon this time but its spooky season yayaayyayay!

warnings: cussing 👍 

Ace

talks a big game saying hes not scared, gets the daylights scared out of him, then goes back to talking a big game

he likes to tease his friends by abruptly grabbing them to scare them, but only teases yuu by saying 'if you're scared, you can hold onto me~' because hes a massive loser with a crush

you wouldn't even notice it but if you look closely his hands are shaking and he keeps looking around the room

arguably hes one of the most terrified one in the room so our unbothered king, yuu, just stands by his side out of sympathy

Deuce

close to tears and his last resort was complimenting a zombie's sfx makeup in hopes the Seven are on his side

probably looked like he was going to piss himself so the zombie 'helped' them out by chasing them until they stopped running in circles like headless chickens

flight or fight instinct goes haywire

it's either 'no means no!' or 'chase me i dare you!' and it solely depends on whether or not there are people in his group more afraid than him

because he will absolutely protect his loved ones awww

Jack

designated 'protector' of the first years (?)

its mostly self proclaimed but he is actually the most scared of the bunch

his ears pick up on EVERY little thing so he hears screams from all the other groups in the house

and that is unnerving!!

hes got a pretty good poker face but his ears and tail are standing up on end. and his tail is REALLY fluffed in agitation

height disadvantage. many dangly things getting caught in his hair and ears and tail. if he runs too fast and forgets to bend down, he's getting his head hit.

grim clung onto jack's tail after a bad scare and since then, has been jack's accessory

Epel

lost a bet and now he has to hold ace's hand throughout the house (let's be honest, this is for the safety of everyone else. its only the fight instinct for our poison apple)

sings random pop songs with ace for him to feel less scared because 1. epel likes his friends and 2. this is the only time he's allowed to be off-key for giggles

loves karma. when ace tries to scare him, epel will simply let go and carry on without ace until he apologizes

everyone and he means EVERYONE can catch these fists

'these arent screams these are battle cries'

creates new profanity out of freight. but he's always at the front of the group (so brave)

Ortho

literally taking notes throughout the haunt

intrigued, kinda wants to recreate it in a VR so his friends can experience it again

except when he does recreate it is literally SO much worse in terms of horror level

because he really does make it feel like the hunger games. its not even a game of survival its a battle of attrition

it gives everyone such a freight

but thats the point isnt it? he just found parts that could be improved on

like, the actors should be given chainsaws so the run for your life can feel more exhilarating!

and the rest of the doors should be removed so the players can use their problem solving skills to get to the one remaining door!

it does not get very popular sjdfjkgihuoij

Sebek

unbelievable that he cannot bring his baton but whatever

putting his life on the line to defend his friends

not because he cares, smh, he could live without their company! but fewer students in NRC would mean that lord malleus couldn't get the true school experience!

big brain moment (advice from lilia) he wore a scary costume in hopes that he scares the actors off before they scare him (he uses the cape to evade)

his body is on auto pilot and he knows what to do, but if you look at his face for too long, this dude is pissing himself silly

he did have a brave moment, though. he said a polite 'hello' to a vampire before demanding them to stop screaming so he could concentrate. slayed

Yuu & Grim

LMAOOOOOO scared?? *them*??? after all they've seen?

literally so unphased

in fact, since they live with ghosts in ramshackle, they might slink off somewhere and reappear alongside the actors to scare their friends

grim pees himself but denies it

in fact grim is like the first one to notice that yuu was not by his side

by the time they make it out of the house, they know all the actors by name???

yuu likes to offer bits of their hair as sacrifice if the actors leave them alone (sometimes they even offer grims fur)

the actors all look so sad to see yuu go??? favourtism smh

you know damn well yuu's getting a job offer for the house here. they'll even invite the rest of their friends to dress up and set them loose upon the haunted manor

Riddle

i would love to say he gets his brain rattled from fear but that is so not true

a childhood of seeing various floating, seemingly severed, limbs thanks to a certain che'nya has rewired his freight system

'its not scary because i know we're in a simulated situation. the actors are fake, the props are fake, the-' you get the jist

startled when something jumps in front of his face and gets mad when his group laughs at him

the actors are kinda scared of *him* because they interrupted him while he was in the middle of a long explanation and that was very rude!!! >:( come back after he's finished, thank you!

Ruggie

RUN LIKE THE WIND

he compliments all the props in the midst of the scare and chaos, who would notice something missing, fr?

a masked murderer would be crawling out of the closet and ruggie would casually ask them about the material the spoons were made of

his strength comes in when he's accidentally(?) sacrificing riddle to the haunters so he'll live

halfassingly playing smash or pass with jade aka jade says smash to everyone and ruggie questions the logistics of his every choice

accidentally remarks how the smell reminded him of his home growing up and doesnt that open a can of worms

Azul

joins ruggie in asking about the material of the spoons, except he's weirdly enthusiastic about it

also takes notes on the atmosphere and decorations

cant take the scare, his brain fizzles out and his muscle memory shakes the hands of the haunters (introducing himself was entirely intentional, however)

biggest loser in terms of he tries to huddle up to EVERYONE for 'safety' purposes. buddy-buddy system duhh

(he's the first to hide under a chair)

Jade

mean girl who flashes her teeth at people then covers his mouth acting like he didnt expose that he could tear out anyones jugular without struggle (he is holding back a coughing fit from the dust)

having such a calm, serene smile the entire time

its as if hes taking a casual stroll

'oh hello there. mind if i borrow this? thanks.' and steals the prop axe from the actors

whether he chooses to chase them back or not solely depends on his whims that day but he becomes a bigger menace because hes smiling with sharp teeth AND holding an axe

Floyd

screams back at the scare actors just Because

doesnt actually register theyre trying to scare them with their screams 'cause?? lmao thats not how u scare people let him teach you-

likes to lurk in the dim lighting to scare other patrons like if he was the one on the job and not paying for the experience

likes to drag out every single actor when riddle's speaking and egg him to behead them all

evil friend who hums in the dark just to get on your nerves

Kalim

screams, then laughs like a good sport about it. you got him good!!

trick or treating is everywhere and this haunted manor is full of tricks! do they get candy after though?

he tries his best to link arms with the actors and chat with them, even if he receives groans and scripted threats in response

he invites the entire cast over to Asim palace because he thinks his siblings would like to experience it (awww)

never worry about losing kalim in the house because he's belled like a cat, so just listen for the jingles of his movement

Jamil

is there really anything scarier than being alive to this guy

he really doesn't appreciate the cobwebs strung up everywhere

nor does he appreciate the sensation of anything brushing on his skin because it makes him feel itchy

the only time theres a reaction from him is if fake blood gets on his own or kalim's clothes because bitch. he will be the one cleaning that so you better fucking not.

the responsible one that keeps azul's glasses safe. not because azul hands them over himself but because silver asked him to (something along the lines of jamil being the kind of person that would ensure personal belongings stay safe or some other ego boosting shit. yeah, it worked slightly, what of it?)

Silver

desensitized to horror

the only time he appreciates the halloweens spent in childhood wetting his bed because of lilia's (psychologically harmful) pranks

if lilia's scares were a 10, this haunted house is like a 3

he proclaims himself as azul's bodyguard and always seeks his hand out so azul can feel a bit safer to go on

silver will also be the first one to locate the emergency exits as well as accompany anyone who needs to tap out (we dont deserve him <3)

Trey

same as riddle except hes even more unphased

in the same year as che'nya and they were together for much more and much longer

and they go beyond just his floating limbs, because he made half of trey disappear into, well, somewhere

che'nya complained about not being able to find his left pinky finger for WEEKS

he accepts like one, maybe two people clinging onto him but more than that and hes kindly telling you to suck it up bc its getting inconvenient to move

sorry 🤷 uh, exposure therapy ig

Cater

managed to sneak his phone in even though no phones were allowed just to film everything

he used a flashlight and still managed to hide his phone (he's able to outrun them, but his screaming instantly puts a beacon on him)

screaming for the life of him but he will never ever EVER forget to do a peace sign for the cams

will constantly ask how the actors managed to make the makeup so realistic and starts handing out friendship bracelets (he made too many with kalim one time with no one to give them to)

those clips of people getting chased in haunted houses then going to hug them is so cater-core (enforcing reverse psychology)

Leona

also pretends he's not affected and sells it very well

he reminds himself that these are props and stuff

he can see much more in the dark, but if you pay attention during a scare, you'd see a visible shiver go up his tail

its gone as soon as you blink though

regularly has a RBF and glares at the actors as if they've wronged him somehow

also an evil friend that will sacrifice you to the scare actors but more than that, he will sacrifice your children and tease them (waving bye bye with a smile and walking away). if only it scared cheka more and not make him laugh and declare he'll protect unca

Vil

plays along because its good to respect the work the actors and staff put into making this experience

still he thinks the sfx blood on the walls couldve benefited from a bit more time assembling

shamefully and accidentally cusses loudly in a moment of freight and apologizes profusely to the actor

taunting leona & telling the haunters to search for him bc he tripped and his ring accidentally snagged vil's hair (petty)

only time vil screams is when he misses a step and thought he was gonna go tumbling. idia laughed at him.

Rook

he chases the actors back

he's all giggly about it too

when hes run out of actors to chase after, he'll start nominating one member of their group to be hunted for sport

another one of the dresses up squad, except he uses it to camouflage himself with the actors

touches everything like this is just a fun little stroll for him

him and trey are having a casual conversation trying to guess the era this ancient candelabra originated from and the background noise is provided by idia sobbing and crying for dear life (leona is trying to sacrifice him)

Idia

somehow both bragging about how fake everything is whilst also cowering behind malleus and screaming the loudest out of the third years

says whatever comes to mind in a panic. no one knows wtf idias aim is. everyone is confused. the art of misdirection, everyone

god forbid he sees a ghost because he freezes out of pure instinct and you'll have to drag or carry him if you need him to move (rip ghost marriage idia)

makes fun of the buff monster costumes because LOLOL LMAOAOA you think thats supposed to scare him??? try harder

no survivial instinct. doesnt run. at all. if he's scared, he's giving up, this is his grave.

Malleus

doesn't get the concept at all

and not in the 'what is so scary about this place' way its more of a 'but the architecture is so magnificent, a little tweaks can get it restored to its former glory'

straight up snatches the floating ghost doll not knowing (or caring..???) that it was decor and rocks it throughout the entire house. does he think its unjustly cursed or does it remind him of silver? who knows

he really likes the aesthetic of the haunted house and everyone that tries to scare *him* are immediately in his good graces. he laughs all evil-like too and scares everyone but dw he's having fun i promise

normal people fall to the floor in haunted houses

malleus falls in love *ew*

Lilia

not that idia needed more reasons to be frightened but lilia fans the fire

shares a rumour about a clown doll that got abandoned so now it hunts people in retribution and of course there's an actor dressed like a killer clown there yk

throwing some bs about how 'oh no, i hope theres not a tall, scary, killer after us with an axe' and when said killer shows up, lilia starts screaming and pulling horrific scary faces at them (the staff leave him tf alone after this interaction)

and if hes feeling particularly mean he'll slink off into the shadows to reappear like a little jumpscare (cmon lilia, you're gonna have to do idias laundry now)

also chills on the ceiling after a chaotic run-in just to give his group some panic when they lose lilia (minus vil & leona, they know better than to worry about lilia's well-being— he's been adjusting too well here)

[hedwig221b]

Have you ever watched sons of anarchy? Theres a couple scenes in season one that just make me think of Sterek. It’s been a couple years so I’ve watched it but ugh I know there’s one for sure that just gives Sterek energy, especially with mafia Derek.

[link]

I haven't watched it, no, but the scene is 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 I have no idea what's going on lmao but ahhhhhh, if applied to sterek I think it's BEAUTIFUL!

AND THEY HAVE SEX RIGHT THERE????? oh slay

EDIT:: OMG I KNOW WHAT IT REMINDS ME OF! The fucking scene in my fic Treasure lmaoooooo

No one can stop me from putting the scene under the cut, NO ONE

The door creaked open.

Stiles jumped on the bed with his heart pounding. He turned to look at the entrance, but it was covered by darkness.

“Derek?” Stiles called.

There was no answer.

Stiles paled. Chills ran down his back.

The dagger. He left it on the bedside table, right? Stiles swiveled his head to look at each one, but couldn’t find it in such darkness. The floor screeched under the weight of one person, making Stiles look up sharply.

A sharp burst of lightning cut through the darkness.

Someone was standing beside the bed.

Stiles’ scream was muffled by someone’s shaking hand. A body fell upon him, digging its knees into his thighs and pinning him to the bed. Stiles trashed, but the stranger didn’t let go.

“You squirm like that with everyone?”

Stiles’ heart thundered in his chest, echoed by the roar of the lightning. He couldn’t get enough air in his lungs and unfamiliar hands slid over his body, dragging his nightshirt up.

No, no, please, NO.

Stiles sank his teeth into the palm covering his mouth and bit. Hard. Warm, tangy blood sprayed on his tongue, and the newcomer shouted in pain.

In the next moment, the man slapped Stiles across the face. Though it was weak, it still made Stiles cry out.

The stranger, for some reason, cried out, too.

What—

The lightning struck again, and Stiles saw the contorted pale face of Lord Jordan Parrish.

“Do you need an animal to pin you down, is that it?” Parrish was breathing fast. Stiles tried to buckle him off, but Parrish was higher and tougher than him. “Oooh, now I recognize a slut.”

“Get off of me!”

“Not until you give me what I deserve. I want to — lay still — want to taste what everyone’s been talking about.”

Despite Stiles’ struggle, Parrish managed to get a hold of his collar and in the next moment had it ripped apart. Stiles’ rapidly rising chest was bared.

Parrish froze with his mouth open and gaze pinned to the base of Stiles’ neck. Derek’s love bites.

“You’re such a whore,” Parrish smiled like crazy, before leaning down.

He fucking bit him.

Stiles screamed, trying to force him off. “Derek!”

“Oh, no, you don’t, I will have you, whethe—”

Stiles’ fist smashed into his injured shoulder. And that… That made Parrish wail and lean away, allowing Stiles to get one of his legs from under him and kick him right in the face.

Parrish fell on the floor with another curse.

Stiles scrambled to stand up. He threw himself onto the bedside table, but the dagger wasn’t there. Was it on the other side? Fuck, if—

“You fucking bitch.” Parrish’s growl was weak and pathetic, trembling, just like his hands. He lifted himself up and swayed in place. He was drunk. Blood flowed on his lips and chin and dripped down onto his white shirt. “Come here, you—”

Multiple steps shuddered across the floor. A moment later, the light of several candles shined upon the horrible scene.

“What is going on?” asked the Marchioness. She was paler than snow, with lips tight and eyes wide open in shock. She was still in her evening gown. Behind her were her servant girls and advisors, either horrified or confused at the sight.

After a couple of moments of stunned silence, Parrish clasped hands on his chest. “I do admit, I drank a little and lost the way to my rooms. But look at what this boy has done to me!”

Stiles pressed himself to the wall between the bed and the small table near it, struggling to breathe. He couldn’t hold air long enough for his body to do any good with it. He was unable to utter a single word, only stared at people, lost and terrified.

The Marchioness turned to him, her chin high and eyes blazing. “Stiles? Explain yourself.”

The blood pounded on his temples, as he swallowed around a dry throat. He was shaking, worse than Parrish’s hands. His mouth was open but no sound escaped.

“That is what living with the dogs did to him,” Parrish lamented, pointing at him. “He became wild! Dangerous! Incarcerate him!”

“Stiles, I need you to come with me,” the Marchioness called him. She stepped inside and beckoned him over.

Stiles shook his head, feeling dizzy. He can’t go. Can’t. This is not fair. They will not let him go and no one will believe him and Eli will be alone and De—

A tremendous roar forced some people to jump and scream. They flocked to the walls and were right to do so because a moment later the alpha burst through the door.

The water sluiced over him; his white shirt was soaked and translucent, stuck to his body like a second skin. He had his claws and fangs out, his eyes fiery red. His breath was fast and fuming.

No one said a word. People clung to each other, afraid to even squeak. One of the women, a noble one, based on her attire, caught Marchioness Whittemore by hand and forced her to stumble back to the crowd.

Derek’s eyes flickered over the trembling crowd and Stiles’ hunched figure against the wall, before finally honing in on Parrish.

All blood, that wasn’t on the lower part of his face, rushed away from it. The Lord shook his head frantically.

“It’s him,” he exclaimed and shook his head. “He forced himself on me, you all know how he is…”

Derek turned his red eyes on Stiles, tracking down his trembling figure, desperate attempts to draw in air and wide eyes.

And then Stiles realized what the wolf was waiting for. His command.

Stiles had pleaded mercy for the man not once, but two times. Every time he stopped Derek from serving his justice.

He should’ve let the alpha decide. Even back then, Stiles should’ve listened to the wolf’s instincts. Derek had witnessed the horrors people can do, while Stiles was fresh, naïve and clueless.

If the alpha wanted to do it…

Stiles didn’t look away from Derek. His lips stayed firmly shut.

The wolf once said he needed just one word from Stiles to make the man pay. In the end, Stiles didn’t even have to say anything.

Derek bared his fangs and snarled at Parrish. The wolf had taken over completely, enraged and bloodthirsty.

“Mercy!” Parrish begged, falling to his knees. He seemed to age a hundred years. The moon made his eyes look sunken in, and skin dry and wrinkly. He trembled. When Derek snarled at him again, the lord swiveled his head towards Stiles, making him flinch away. He seemed to realize Stiles was the only person who could stop the wolf. “Mercy! Please— AHHH!”

Long and sharp claws buried themselves into his scalp, right at the edge of his forehead, and tugged. The blood burst out of the wounds and rushed down his face, dripping all over the fluffy white carpet.

Derek dragged wailing and trashing Parrish towards the balcony as if he didn’t hear his hysterical ‘NO, NO, NO’, and swung the door open so hard, it shattered.

All of them watched in leaden, dreadful silence, as the werewolf came outside, dragged the man towards the ledge and hurled him over.

Parrish’s screams were silenced by a thick and loud crunching thud.

Someone screeched. One woman fainted, several sunk down on the floor, pale and wide-eyed.

Derek looked over the ledge, then turned around without a flinch and came back into the room. He headed straight for Stiles, who immediately extended his hands. Stiles needed Derek to hold him, to touch and never ever let go.

The wolf picked him up with ease. Stiles pressed himself to him as much as their position would allow, put arms around Derek’s neck and clung.

His eyes strayed to the open balcony door. The sheer white draping flowed softly in the wind. The blood specks were spreading down the fabric, eager to welcome the thick trail of blood leading from the balcony to the room.

Stopping on his way out, Derek turned to snarl at speechless Lady Whittemore. “Do not touch him until he’s dead.”

The woman didn’t answer, just stared at him with tears in her eyes and bloodless lips, pressing herself back into the crowd.

No one dared to stop them from leaving.

[whatisamildopinion]

fantasy instagram fic 🫴🫴🫴

bird my darling <3333 some fantasy instagram fic for you, from the ask game here (I was reading through this again the other day and forgot how much I amused myself with this one)

---

infaethable>;p

[Photo ID: A stone table on a vast green lawn pitted with scorch marks and overflowing in random places with weeds. In the background, a bronze statue of Arthur Aguefort holding a volleyball is visible. At the table are the Bad Kids. Adaine is looking up from a book, scowling. Kristen is beaming at the camera, throwing up a double thumbs-up. Fabian is smirking at the camera, feet kicked up on the table, and seems utterly oblivious to the fact that Fig is giving him bunny ears. Gorgug is taking the selfie, smiling somewhat awkwardly at the camera. There is no sixth person in the frame, but sitting beside Adaine is an open briefcase]

♡ 10,452 🗨 759 🖝         

Liked by blessedbees and others

infaethable>;p obligatory first day of school pic because school is stupid but friends are pretty cool. thanks thistlespringing for the photo!!!

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priscillababe what a beautiful party of five. nothing more to see here

icecreamismypatron oh of course not. definitely. the bad kids, famously a party of five. pay no mind to the briefcase full of Secrets

potatopie hey infaethable>;p can you confirm, is the briefcase full of secrets???

infaethable >;p it’s sooooo full of secrets. a ridiculous amount of secrets. and also manila folders and highlighters and I’m pretty sure there’s a defibrillator in there somewhere too

maxieboy WAIT THE MISSING CAFETERIA DEFRIBRILLATOR?????

rgukgak hey maxieboy you shut your mouth

infaethable>;p hey hey hey rgukgak I’m gonna get you this year. I’m gonna get you so good. all of fantasy instagram is gonna see your cute frickin face

rgukgak bring it on, Fig. bring it on

predictedthis You two are a mess. 

infaethable>;p you loveeeeee us

greatcaster all of you stop flirting through instagram, you’re sitting at the same table. it’s embarrassing.

infaethable>;p don’t worry we love you too fabian even when you’re a whiny little shit

—

blessedbees

[Photo ID: Fabian wrestling with Fig, attempting to put her in a headlock. Fig is clearly laughing.]

♡ 4,274 🗨 328 🖝         

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blessedbees I think he’s trying to exact revenge for the “whiny little shit” comment but he forgot she has horns so the headlock doesn’t work super well LMAOOOOOO

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[thomasew7]

Hey yall guess who came back from the dead😻

Nah but fr I rlly hope ill be able to post more now, in the meantime have some random drawings i did, aus, tomeduardo and unfinished sketches/WIP

There's mooree so yet again i need to self reblog and add everything in 😭🙏

[c0la-queen]

Absolutely melting at the idea of the Hybird!Boys nagging at Reader for her food even when they already have their own, literally just a bunch of spoiled little babies UGHHH THEYRE SO CUTEEEEE I love them sm…

Like reader’s got herself a nice meaty dinner, maybe a good cut of steak, and as shes eating she suddenly feels smt wet poking at her arm, and she looks to see what and it’s Soldier booping her arm with his nose, staring and drooling at the delicious steak, he starts trying to hop up to nip at it while reader tries push him away, but she ends up cutting a lil piece, dusting off the salt seasoning as best as she could and feeding him it anyways,

I like to think that Tord/Soldier likes snacking on other’s food, esp if its like savory salty meaty stuff yknow what I mean? I can totes see him as the asshole type to steal the other guy’s food stuff, maybe he’ll be a bit nicer to you and nag ask you first

AHHHHHHHHHH SAME THING FOR PRINCE TOOOO WHEN YOU HAVE LIKE A DELICIOUS LIL CREAMY TREATIE He would WHINEEEEE for some sooo badd you HAVE to give him some, he loves treaties sm and will be As dramatic as he can to get the sweets he wants

Going to Starbucks with him and everytime you HAVE to get him a pupcup kinda situation, so you only stop by there sometimes on occasions like when you have to get him to the vet for a checkup otherwise he’ll by crying allll the way home when you deny getting him one cause he’s already have too much and that’ll both break my heart and also annoy me sm LOOLLLLLLL

I literally have such a huge soft spot for Prince and his pompousness…I wanna shower him in kisses and babytalk and squish his face so badly he’s such a cutie patootie

The day you cook bacon for breakfast???? It’s over. Prepare for the hardest tussle in your life wrestling with Superhero for the bacon, if he already bosses you around then you know HE WILL BE RELENTLESS with the bacon, a Giant wolfdog fighting you frfr for food??? Gone…

SOLDIER ENDING UP JOINING IN TOO?1??1?11 literally actually over. It’s a battle to the death. Someones probably going to get hurt and its probably most definitely is going to be you falling over from 2 big ass wolfdogs jumping onto you and knockign you over for the bacon LMAOOOOOO

Soldier and Superhero fighting each other for it but they take it too far though and it become an actual fight for food situation…hic…Reader has to step in and stop them somehow, everyones upset, she has to make both of them 2 pieces and scolds them, they resolved and apologized nicely though at least…

And reader never makes bacon for breakfast ever again(unless its a special occasion when she wants to treat the both of them)

Really love the thought of Monster being the one that rarely nags reader for food like the others Only cause hes a bit distant and has a kinda weird ego abt it y’know, so its Reader who spoils him and tries to get him to try stuff cause he’s a good dog, he deserves it

She notices him eyeing out the food shes having curiously, sniffing at it, so she gets a small piece and asks if he wants to try it and she gets vv happy when he accepts, the others probably gets jealous at the treatment and tries to get some too lolll he probably feels SO proud and full of himself whehehe…

Omg you are SO correct and big brained for this!

Poor Reader would absolutely never get a moment of rest with these four eccentric wolf dogs.

Before adopting them, she definitely had a habit of sitting on the couch with her dinner and watching YouTube videos about niche internet drama (yes I'm projecting) but now she's realized that, to the boys, this is simply an open invitation. I guarantee that, at first, Soldier wouldn't even beg her for the food. He'd be the type to just reach over and start sniffing at her plate. He's not even trying to be sneaky about it! That bastard would have the audacity to look her in the eyes while trying to take food off her plate! She tries to scold him about it, but he simply does not listen - in his mind, there's nothing wrong with what he's doing. So she's taken to sitting at the dining room table and watching YouTube videos on her phone instead. (Soldier will still put his head on her leg and stare at her expectantly.)

Reader is simply Just A Girl 💅, so we know our self-love queen would go get herself a sweet treat all the time. It varies, usually whatever she's craving at the time. There have been times where she's got a random craving for something she doesn't have, and will get up and leave her house to go get it (the boys get so annoyed and huffy). But she should know that no matter what it is she gets, Prince will want a bite. He'd be cute about it, too - whining and pouting and blinking up at her with those baby blue eyes. Eventually, Reader would giggle and give in, with the warning of "Just one bite, baby." Then she'd share a little piece with him. If it's something that isn't safe for dogs, she'd be less willing to share with him, insisting that it'll hurt him. Still, he'd whine for it. (It's not Reader's fault that she doesn't know he can have them!) And yes, I feel like Prince would be the most well behaved in the car, and the best around people, so he's the one that gets to join her on outings more often. She made the mistake of stopping by a coffee shop and getting him a pup cup ONE TIME, and now he's hooked. Every time they pass by that coffee shop (he knows that it's Reader's favorite, since the baristas know her by name) he will bark and howl and work himself up into a tizzy until Reader finally sighs and gives in. After he gets that pup cup, he's back to being well-behaved and a sweetheart. Reader hates it. Plus, people would fawn over Prince in public since he's such a pretty boy. He absolutely eats it up!

God save Reader if she decides to make bacon one morning. It's not something she does often - she probably decided to do it this time as a special occasion. Maybe it's the morning of her birthday or a holiday. Either way, she decided to make a big breakfast for herself. Which included bacon.

Superhero is normally the first of the four to wake up. From what Reader can gather, Soldier takes the night shift. He stays awake through the night, watching out the windows and sometimes patrolling the house. Because of this, Soldier tends to sleep during the day. Superhero then takes the mantle of "guard dog" during the day. Prince and Monster will sometimes take the night shift instead, but it's normally Superhero and Soldier.

Still, Superhero has a routine of patrolling the house the moment he wakes up, checking for anything wrong. If Reader is making bacon, though? Superhero is glued to her legs in an instant. She'd laugh at first and lightheartedly tell him no. He wouldn't give up. He'd escalate to putting his front paws up on her shoulders and trying to reach the bacon himself. Reader would definitely have to half pick up/half drag him away from the stove. He'd boof and snap his teeth demandingly, as if he's entitled to a piece of this bacon and how dare you not let him have a piece! Reader, always one to fight him on everything, would be adamant not to.

Then Soldier enters the scene. As I said before, Soldier usually sleeps through the first half of the day. But the moment the smell of bacon spreads through the house? She hears claws clacking against the floor as he barrels into the kitchen. It would probably be the most excited Reader has ever seen Soldier, tail wagging and eyes shining brightly. Superhero immediately growls and snaps at Soldier. Reader would just let them tussel at first, using the distraction to finish cooking her bacon. Eventually, she realizes "Oh shit those are NOT play growls-" and quickly runs over to the two to separate them. It takes the promise of two pieces of bacon each to get them to finally settle down.

Reader never makes bacon in her house ever again.

Meanwhile, Monster would be different. Where the other three would be swarming her legs the moment she starts cooking herself dinner, Reader notices that Monster is always sitting patiently to the side. She has to subdue the others by continuously feeding them bites of what she's cooking, but Monster never begs for any. He's the only one that she can eat on the couch with, because he'll lay on top of her feet and won't try to steal her food. But she does notice him glancing at her food. So, since he's always been such a sweetheart, Reader would happily offer Monster food. He would take it slowly, hesitantly. But he feels better after Reader cooes and praises him for being so good. His tail would wag contently. Still, he would never bother Reader for her food. We love Monster in this household <3 I will say, I like to think Tom personally doesn't like bacon. So, if Reader tried to offer some to Monster because it's only fair, he would sniff it, then huff and sneeze and turn his nose away. Doesn't bother Reader, though. Just means it's one less rowdy wolfdog trying to tackle her.

[heavyhitterheaux]

New Life Partner

First Lady of Private Garden Instagram AU

Liked by dualipa, saweetie, jaysontatum, quiiso, urbanwyatt, y/ninsta, and 2,394,723 others

jackharlow: my man, ty to my man

y/ninsta: thank you to your WHAT?! aight that's it. everybody getting they ass beat and jayson is first druski2funny: oh so, you're cheating on me again? dualipa: y/ninsta you know where to find me saweetie: oh lord here they go again jaysontatum: now y/ninsta..... I had nothing to do with him writing that caption y/ninsta: jaysontatum lies you muthafuckin tell smh jackharlow: y/ninsta now you know how it feels when you leave me to go out with the hot chips and bad decisions crew blancahood: now why am I in it? jessicakelce: we are literally just sitting here minding our own business and then mullet boy over here wants to call us out jackandy/naremyparents: NOT MULLET BOY blancahood: y/ninsta did not let this man live for 24 hours when she saw his hair, the jokes kept coming and then jumped his bones when she was finished jackharlow: y/ninsta and you wonder why I left you and druski2funny I thought we were taking time away from each other? seeing other people? lilnasx: I'm just here waiting with my popcorn to see y/ninsta kick your ass

Liked by jackharlow, blancahood, saweetie, generationnow, brandisimmons, urbanwyatt, and 3,183,996

y/ninsta: full of hot chips and bad decisions 😜

jackharlow: can't take yall asses anywhere smh and wait a damn minute, is that brandisimmons?!? blancahood: I still don't remember half that night smh jessicakelce: blancahood now I see that the both of us have switched places, that's usually me lol brandisimmons: jackharlow maybe, maybe not urbanwyatt: now why wasn't I invited? I like hot chips softtcurse: urbanwyatt and you like bad decisions smh y/ninsta: urbanwyatt idk urby, we got to take a vote and meet with the president which is me. we'll get back to you shortly about our decision jessicakelce: I vote yes because he can tolerate hot food while jackharlow absolutely cannot jackharlow: jessicakelce will you leave me alone for five damn minutes?!?! jessicakelce: jackharlow no. jackharlow: y/ninsta do you remember what happened the last time you wore a short ass skirt out the house? y/ninsta: jackharlow I'm single now so it doesn't matter jackharlow: y/ninsta don't fucking play with me smh y/ninsta: call jayson

Liked by y/ninsta, jaysontatum, urbanwyatt, druski2funny, 2forwoyne, and 3,184,816 others

jackharlow: my baby girl is so gorgeous 😍

y/ninsta: jackharlow don't fucking post me, you cheater. jaysontatum is your baby girl now. a bitch do look gorgeous tho 🥰 jackandy/nupdates: all I need is one night. ONE. jackharlow: jackandy/nupdates you might get to have it if wifey don't stop playing urbandjack25: jackharlow is lucky he got to her first because if I did, he wouldn't have even been thought of y/ninsta: urbandjack25 not too much on my man now! even though we're married but separated, I still claim him druski2funny: well I don't claim him dualipa: drop his ass claybornharlow: little baby is here y/ninsta: clayyyyyyy, the one Harlow that I can count on to never disappoint me jackharlow: Y/N!!!! and dualipa claybornharlow don't start with me today and druski2funny you'll always claim me. I'm the ex that keeps you up at night urbanwyatt: my best friend is prettier than yours 😍 jaysontatum: I mean urbanwyatt she's pretty, but she obviously doesn't compare to me since jackharlow is ready to leave her y/ninsta: jaysontatum your ass got one more muthafuckin time to act out and then I'm bringing you down to my height jaysontatum: y/ninsta how tall are you because you barely come up to jack's knee saweetie: OUTTA POCKET 2forwoyne: not his knee lmaoooooo jackharlow: jaysontatum she's 5 feet on a good day claybornharlow: jackharlow your mouth is always getting you in trouble smh jackharlow: claybornharlow and it always gets me out of trouble too 😏 jessicakelce: I don't see how it took this long for her to get pregnant smh y/ninsta: jaysontatum I'll be on your doorstep at 8 am tomorrow jaysontatum: y/ninsta have fun trying to reach the doorbell urbanwyatt: jaysontatum well, she is little 😭 y/ninsta: urbanwyatt just for that, I made an executive decision, you can't be a part of hot chips and bad decisions. THAT'S FINAL urbanwyatt: y/ninsta wait! I want a redo!

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, maggieharlow, brandisimmons, theestallion, shloob_, and 1,297,192 others

y/ninsta: since jackharlow is out being a whore, this is who I'm left at home with smh

claybornharlow: my girl autumn 😍 jackharlow: y/ninsta what is she even doing?!? and not you calling me a whore smh y/ninsta: jackharlow idk, she your baby since she look like you so come figure it out smh theestallion: this baby absolutely knows no chill y/ninsta: theestallion she is on 1000 every damn day as soon as she wakes up. she has now learned how to get out of her crib and I wasn't ready for that jackharlow: I definitely woke up to her face smushed up against mine and was confused on how she got in there smh y/ninsta: jackharlow she can now escape out of Harlow baby jail so we have to hire security. claybornharlow you got the job, congratulations. claybornharlow: she is literally always on her best behavior when she's around me maggieharlow: grandma's baby! y/ninsta: maggieharlow well come get her! you wanted these grandkids so bad and now they're here! I need a drink AND a blunt smh saweetie: y/ninsta damn they got you down bad lol maggieharlow: y/ninsta tell her father to come get her jackharlow: and suddenly something came up that needs my immediate attention y/ninsta: JACKMAN THOMAS

Liked by claybornharlow, jackharlow, urbanwyatt, saweetie, sza, normani, generationnow, and 3,240,286 others

y/ninsta: my big baby and my little baby

since jackharlow wants to act like a husband and show me some attention today, I agreed. he just didn't tell me that I would be at the studio with him and a million other people smh

at least I have my little baby who is not so little anymore to keep me company

like a bitch cried when he turned 21

claybornharlow stop fucking growing up on me 😭

jackharlow: yeah, that was something. but you don't pay me any attention smh y/ninsta: jackharlow I cried when he got his license too lmao and you are a got damn lie smh saweetie: y/ninsta you literally cry at everything lmao y/ninsta: look to be fair, I met little baby when he was eleven and now he's a grown man and me no like that. in my eyes he will always be my little baby so look at this as an appreciation post so if one of these little fast ass girls break his heart, there will be hell to pay. mark my words. claybornharlow: y/ninsta we would have been amazing together jackharlow: claybornharlow AHT AHT! get back to work and stop trying to steal my wife for the millionth time claybornharlow: jackharlow your kids love me, your wife loves me, I'm the favorite child, the list goes on and on jackharlow: claybornharlow I will kick you in the throat y/ninsta: yall better get yall shit together before I tell maggie maggieharlow: too late y/ninsta: welp I tried, get your kids. I'm about to send the oldest back to you. maggieharlow: y/ninsta keep him jackharlow: maggieharlow WOW smh

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