#**ALSO it is real to me that xander and anya have their wedding planned out as per canon and then instead of breaking up they elope

[tenderjock]

#I don't think she'd be ready early/mid s6 but I think you would be able to feel what was unspoken between them the most there#it doesn't even really need to be said. it would just be nice #also yeah spuffsilla getting together first just makes sense to me. they would so make the first move on her

they TOTALLY get together like ... approx the same time period that spike/buffy get together in canon i think? only its not nearly so destructive, its still kinky and rough and not good mindset-y for buffy in particular, but its healthier and more supportive, esp on spike's part. i'm making the executive decision that buffy isnt feeling gross shame about their relationship - she's open with it to tara, at least, and maybe jenny and xander and anya. she's a little less open about the details towards dawn because of the nature of the kinky sex theyre having, and also she tries to talk to willow about it at this point but it results in a LOT of weirdness and jealousy and willow going off on her own and coming back at four a.m., stumbling like she's high and burning little holes in the wallpaper when she touches the walls.

jenny's concerned. she's never had much innate ability - she's always been theory and patterns, stuff like protective spell matrixes, like the spells she wreathes the summers house with*, not raw power like willow has. it's getting dangerous, the things willow is playing with.

he can love her in the quiet way he does, let her feel his arms ready to catch her if she struggles even if he doesn't say the words quite so well.

omwf happens and angel feels gutted because - the scoobies clearly didnt know, sure, but darla and spike and dru clearly did. all of them. and he didnt, buffy didnt tell him. he feels - is it because he is the one who has been to hell? or is it because he is less worthy, less trustworthy? he sulks in it and withdraws and its not until riley comes back that any of it gets resolved.

riley catches buffy with spike and dru, in bed, and its not - its not a secret, okay, but she still doesnt want her ex bf (who she left on bad terms with, who has been embarrassing her at every turn recently) oogling her current whatevers naked and all over her, thankyouverymuch. spike and dru are little assholes about it, which doesnt help. buffy kind of makes her excuses and flees their crypt and wanders the streets of sunnydale.

it starts raining.

she's standing there, in the rain, wishing she had the energy to cry, when angel says, "buffy?" from the basement stairs of the building nearby. she's standing kitty-corner to his and darla's apartment.

buffy goes inside. he makes her a tea. she doesnt drink it, she just curls up in his and darla's bed - she's not in - and they talk, a little. angel admits that he's been worried about her. buffy tells him she's been dreaming terrible things, things that she cant remember when she wakes. angel says he wants what's best for her, and he's not sure he has a part in that. buffy says he's an idiot, and falls asleep in his arms.

shortly after this darla plants a big wet one right on buffy's mouth right in front of everyone (perhaps at xander and anya's wedding? hmm**) and it shocks everyone and buffy is MORTIFIED but also secretly very very pleased and thats! the beginning of the infamous vampire harem

#I feel like I've taken ur au and just decided I am also a part of it so sorry <<<<<< YOU ARE A PART OF IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

theres an au somewhere in which the romani spellcaster that curses angelus doesnt just curse angelus, but rather curses every vampire of the aurelian line in a, say, twelve mile radius to get their soul back.

it's rough, especially for the first few years. spike's the weepiest, but angel takes it the hardest, oddly enough. dru's absolutely nutty over it, but she's always nuts, and anyway, having the three of them to wrangle gives darla something to focus on other than the weight of her sins. they manage.

(one thing she does is research what, exactly, has been done to them. when she finds out about the loophole - even a moment's happiness - there is a gut-lurching second where darla thinks to herself, i can end our agony. and then she thinks of her last kill, a young couple and their toddler. the father had begged darla to spare the little child's life, to take him instead. the mother had clawed at darla, covering her child with her body, screaming as she died.

rather than find that moment's happiness, darla begins new research, looking into ways to secure an immortal soul to a vampire's body permanently. closing the loop, as it were.)

spike eventually gets it into his head that he wants to do the slayer thing - not kill them, like he'd planned, but to help the poor girls. dru gives him the idea. angel leaves them, at that point, in the dead of night, without telling them where he's going. darla lets him go.

there's a girl in peking - xin, her name is, and she's understandably skeptical, but she accepts their help. they fight with her until she dies, a few months later, at the hands of an apocalypse. it breaks spike and dru quite badly - cuts spike's face up, too. darla gets them out, gets them back to europe. leaves them in italy. looks for angel.

she finds him eating rats in new york city, of all places. she shakes some sense into him and gets him some clean clothes, some blood, a place to sleep out of the sun. he's wallowing, which is to be expected, but how does he figure he's going to atone for his sins if he's rotting in the gutter like so much trash?

she's too practical, he tells her. he's too fucking dramatic, she tells him, and makes him eat some more pig's blood, cold.

darla tells him about spike and dru, what they've been up to these past few decades. he shudders when she tells him about xin, her throat ripped out by enemy fangs. angel's intrigued by the concept of helping slayers, but he confesses quietly to darla that he's not ready for that yet.

so they part ways again, with the understanding that they'll stay in touch. darla bounces around the americas, running into spike and dru - sometimes just dru, as spike is off chasing rumors of slayers - until the late 1990s, when she gets a call from angel.

angel's found a girl, and he wants to get the gang back together.

[punskill]

ok i know i talk a lot in separate posts about how i feel about certain canon things but i thought i’d just make a post dedicated to the changes i’m making in my portrayal ... it’s mostly smaller things in regards to her relationships w other characters but ! it’ll make me feel more comfortable. 

angel / buffy as a whole: i haven’t watched the buffy movie and i’m not sure if i plan to so in regards to MY portrayal, angel is the first “legitimate” boyfriend she’s had, her first real relationship. however, she is literally only 16-18 at that time. she heavily heavily romanticizes things because she’s not entirely sure how to act. he’s broody he’s a vampire she’s peppy she’s a slayer of course she’s going to act like they’re star crossed soulmates or something. end of s3 / start of s4 is when she really starts to realize that they are just better as friends and her being so “into” him was just wacky teenage hormones. (also i rlly don’t like angel’s “happiest” moment being that he has to have sex w buffy . like ? that is freakish tbh.)

that willow scene in s6: i rlly rlly rlly did not like how that was handled. i feel like willow constantly gets a get out of jail free card when she messes up and ! it annoys me ! so yeah when willow almost gets dawn killed buffy is WAY more upset about that. she does not let her stay in her house anymore and she instead tells her to stay w xander. buffy still attempts to help her overcome her addiction with magic because she DOES care about her, but there is. a larger rift between the two of them ( which could add fuel to the whole dark!willow thing so ) 

xander / buffy: ........... i have way too many canon scenes that i’d want to rework but basically my buffy takes less shit from xander! also she sides w anya after the whole wedding debacle sorry not sorry 

spike / buffy: buffy cuts off having sex w him way sooner in s6. for me i’d rather have buffy retreat into her own mind as well as getting back into ice skating to deal w the resurrection. for my own comfort the scene is seeing red is replaced w him attempting to bite her or just him leaving her majorly injured (sort of in the way she beat the shit out of him in that one episode). s7 buffy is way more detached when it comes w dealing with spike (she still however realizes they need his help blah blah), and it’s the scene where he defends her and finds her that moves her to trust him a bit more again. 

buffy / tara: tara is a larger part of my buffy’s life in s6 and she spends a lot more time w her. she does still come to her first about sleeping w spike as well as ending things with him. idk just more of buffy seeking out tara to talk which also sort of separates her from the scoobies. 

IDK these are the thoughts i have rn but like. i’m always thinking of stuff so i’ll add stuff on when i feel like it. also this varies depending on my mutual’s portrayal of these characters! do not feel forced to fit into this these are just thoughts for MY buffy’s canon. 

[yetanotherbuffyblog]

The wedding episode

The wedding!

The wedding is finally here, and everyone’s tense: the bridesmaids because of the bright green dresses they’ve been assigned, the engaged couple because of finally going through with this and all the planning required, the Harris family because they don’t get along well with Anya’s guests, and so forth. But on the wedding day, right before the ceremony starts, an old man appears claiming to be Xander’s future self and shows him a vision of the future, depicting a troubled marriage that ends with a violent disagreement.

This causes Xander no end of grief, and he disappears for a while. Buffy is left to try to stall while Willow goes out to look for Xander and bring him back before anyone discovers what’s wrong. It only lasts so long, and Anya finds out, only to run into old man Xander and discover he’s not old man Xander at all--he’s just some demon that used to be a guy that Anya wrecked in her vengeance demon days, and to get back at Anya he came and ruined her wedding. 

They fight him and kill him, but when Xander comes back it turns out that he doesn’t want to get married. He’s decided that even if the future he was shown wasn’t real, he’s scared it might come true anyway, and he doesn’t want anything like that to happen to Anya. So he just leaves, the wedding’s off, and Anya’s old boss offers her a job as a vengeance demon again.

Huh.

Spike also arrives at the wedding with a date, obviously trying to make Buffy jealous, which she does call him out on. She does admit that it works, but while she does still have feelings it doesn’t change the breakup, and he and his date leave before the drama really gets started.

Notes!

-I’m not sure how I feel about the wedding being called off. On the one hand, it’s not like it’s out of nowhere. We’ve had quite a bit of foreshadowing that there’s something off about Xander and Anya’s relationship, something they’re not really facing, even as far back as the beginning of the season. And so getting married with addressing or fixing those issues is a recipe for disaster, which I’m glad Xander realizes. But just calling it off also feels as if the writers of the show wanted to have the drama of a wedding storyline without actually writing a married couple. The drama of a certain kind of relationship without actually dealing with that sort of relationship.

It reminds me of how so many comic book characters have weddings teased, but never get married (COUGHBatmanRebirthCOUGH), or have those marriages retconned away (COUGHOneMoreDayCOUGH) because the writers think it’s too boring for heroes to be in a stable marriage, or like having a bunch of buildup going nowhere because Drama. And it’s a bit frustrating.

-I do feel bad for Spike’s date in this episode, given she’s just being used as emotional guilt tripping. And being used was exactly the reason Buffy dumped Spike--it’s not fair to use someone in a relationship. Spike apparently didn’t learn that lesson? Maybe he did this time.

-The cover story they went with for the demons at the party was that they’re circus performers? That’s… pretty weak, especially since a lot of them have clearly not-human attributes. Given that this is Sunnydale, and Xander’s going to be marrying Anya, I would have thought someone would have told at least his immediate family that Anya’s side were mainly supernatural beings? Then again, Xander’s parents are kind of terrible so maybe it’s not worth telling them because it would have made things worth.

-Like gosh, Xander’s dad is terrible. Which isn’t NEW, per se, but him constantly taking excuses to go and bother the demons and try to rile them up was incredibly infuriating.

-Also, before Buffy stalls by juggling, everyone is sitting there bored? And I though, “Huh, yeah, this was more of a thing before smartphones, yeah?” Because yes, people would still be bored in those situations, but at least nowadays there would be more entertainment in your phones, reading, or socializing or whatnot. YMMV on whether or not that’s a good thing, because you’re not socializing with the people around you.

-This wedding is obviously not in a church, I don’t think? With all the demons around, I guess that makes sense, but it was going to be performed by a pastor, which I would figure might be a bit triggering for the demons? Although again, demons in Buffy seem more extra-dimensional than necessarily Satanic, so maybe they don’t care, or they find the whole thing amusing.

-In the bad future that’s shown to Xander, one of their kids isn’t his? And I’m wondering what the fudge that’s about?

-One of Xander’s uncles has drafted a caterer as a date, a woman who is closer to Buffy’s age than his own, and she’s clearly uncomfortable with this? And this is kind of played as a joke, but it’s honestly quite terrible and horrible and I want to beat this man with a pipe. No! Do not make light of a woman being creeped on by a sleazeball!

I’m just saying this bit did not age well.

-Anya’s boss gives a present, which has some kind of living thing in it with tentacles? Is that a pet? Or some kind of delicacy? More importantly, does Anya get to keep it? Who knows. 

-Oh hey, Sarah Michelle Gellar can juggle!

-Xander’s dad suggests to Buffy that they have a quickie? And that’s gross? Thankfully, Buffy threatens to rip his dick off and he backs off.

-Probably should have known that the wedding might not be fantastic since it was thundering outside.

-I watched this episode on the anniversary of my brother’s wedding? Not sure where I’m going with that, but it was kind of weird.

-How does a human become a demon, exactly? Anya did it, and the fake future Xander did it too. Apparently it’s something that can happen, I’m just wondering HOW. And out of curiosity, what if it happened to a Slayer? Food for thought.

-Everyone is remarkably cool with Buffy and Xander killing a demon dude in the same room as the wedding, and perfectly willing to let the ceremony continue with his body getting cold back there (Willow was hoping it would disappear, but it didn’t, so she suggested covering it with flowers).

-Even if we accept Xander’s reasoning for calling off the wedding, he just leaves without bothering to explain to everyone what happened, so that Anya has to tell the crowd that the wedding’s off and presumably explain why they all have to go home. Which is a dickish thing to do.

-I’m currently reading a Gerald Morris book (The Princess, the Crone, and the Dung-Cart Knight), and there’s a line where a character says something like, “Maybe I didn’t truly love her, but I loved her as much as I was able to understand love,” and I’m not sure that applies here, but I just want to throw that in and ask if you think this applies to either Anya x Xander or Spike x Buffy? Or neither?

-Buffy admitting that she saw that couple as a sort of hope spot for what she could achieve with her life is… disheartening, because even before it was clear that they weren’t a model relationship. But they were there, and I suppose that counts for something.

[douxreviews]

Legends of Tomorrow - ‘Seance and Sensibility’ Review

"Then you are a fool. For you shouldn't have to learn a lesson twice."

Because that Jane Austen/Bollywood mashup was just inevitably going to happen somewhere, right? Right?

Dearest reader, I feel like I have to confess something to you. I know I should have brought this up earlier, but I was just too ashamed. I hope you can find it in your heart to understand and forgive me this sin of omission.

I have never read any Jane Austen.

Not a word.

I know, I know. I swear I've been meaning to for simply ages, but I just haven't gotten around to it. As a result, I really debated whether or not I should hand off this week's review to another Agent of Doux who might be more familiar with the source material. In the end I decided that the showrunners are smart enough to know that not everyone watching will have done the background reading, and would have ensured that it was still a good episode without that extra layer of understanding.

I was mostly right. We have an enjoyable Regency era romp whose themes were well explored and were identifiable as the sort of thing that Jane Austen wrote about even if you didn't know the specific references. Coupled with this we have a super enjoyable Bollywood number, and a reasonably good tangent for the overarching season plot that had some exciting developments.

Unfortunately, we have one thing that's just awful. Just mind-bogglingly, throw-things-at-the-screen, put-your-fist-through-a-mirror, infuriating.

Look, I really love this show. I get no pleasure from lashing out at it like this. So, why don't we start with the good stuff and hold onto our positivity as long as possible.

The Jane Austen stuff is fantastic. We really dig into the theme of whether it's better to give in to your instincts and embrace love or to protect yourself, both in terms of your emotions and your future security, by repressing your feelings and never giving in to desire. Which absolutely feels like the essence of what Jane Austen is about. Again, I say that as an outsider to her catalog. The opposite sides of the argument are represented by Mona and Zari, who stand for giving in to your emotions and remaining emotionally detached, respectively.

Mona being on Team 'Give In To Your Emotions' absolutely tracks. She's consistently gone with her heart over her head all season. Also, that's essentially the whole point of werewolf mythology; i.e. giving in to your primal urges. Zari representing repressed emotions feels like a bit of a stretch, since we've never really viewed her in those terms before. She's mostly been shown as an entirely self confidant and capable person who tends to rely on her reason in times of crisis. But it's not so much of a stretch to retroactively look back at that and suppose that the reason she does so is rooted in a desire to wall herself off emotionally for self protection.

What's particularly nice about this thread is that they allow it to be resolved, and that the character that resolves it is Jane Austen herself. She corrects Mona that her books are actually about people falling in love based on mutual respect, not about losing self control, and then Mona carries that same message back to Zari, but to Zari it reads as 'you don't have to be afraid of falling in love for real, because falling in love isn't a loss of self control', which is a subtly different message. With that, both sides of the debate are brought together in a middle ground and the theme is resolved. It's nice to see that sort of thematic resolution done properly.

The Bollywood stuff, meanwhile, was just hysterical. Ridiculous, often contrived, and completely over the top. So, in other words, Bollywood. The only real complaint I have about the Bollywood number as set in Regency England is that it never really gels with the Jane Austen parts of the story. It feels like two very disparate plot items that just sort of lay next to each other and don't ever start to flavor one another, if that makes sense. It's not a crippling flaw, and the only real complaint about it is that it was completely obvious that Kamadeva the Coachman was the magical creature from the moment we saw him, but that's not too big a complaint. It was all worth it for the way Zari wasn't fooled by him at all, and used the pretense of sex to capture him. You go, girl.

Edging cautiously toward the negative stuff, this was a rare example of the direction being a little muddy. It wasn't clear, for example, that Ray and Nora's sexual tryst was a dream until much later, and the sequence illustrating who stayed at the wake and who left to go on the mission wasn't at all clear as it was happening.

OK. Let's just get to it. I am not down with the retroactive sainting of Hank Heywood. Hank was an emotionally abusive self absorbed asshole who we clearly witnessed, not once or twice but consistently, emotionally abusing his son with absolutely no concern or consideration. The whole, 'Hank was secretly building a magic creature amusement park, and was totally awesome all along, Honest!' thing is pure, unadulterated, 100% bullshit. The worst part is that I think the show really means it and that was really what Hank's plan was. I'm sorry, no. Hank was a monster, end of story.

Look, I freely acknowledge that I'm bringing a lot of my own stuff to this, but there's an insidious and repugnant thing that occasionally shows up in television or film in which a chronic abuser, whom we have watched inflict abuse and who has apparently been doing so their entire life, is suddenly shown to do one decent thing and we're supposed to take that as 'all is forgiven, they're awesome now and none of those decades of abuse counts!'. That is what Nate's Mom's eulogy for Hank is. One Mickey Mouse story and he's totally clear for a lifetime of abusing his son. That is a terrible message to put out there for survivors of abuse, and I absolutely detest it every single time I see it.

That said, it's nice that for once the show remembered that Nate had crippling Hemophilia.

So what have we learned today?

This week we're using Back to the Future rules, mostly for the sight gag of the names on Nora's shirt disappearing. That works as well as anything, I suppose.

Everybody remember where we parked.

This week the Waverider took the Lady Legends (and Ray) to Bath, England 1802. The scenes at Hank's wake were shown as being in D.C. 2019, which means that either there was a hell of a gap between Hank's murder and his wake or that we're glossing over the timescale a bit over the last couple of episodes. Probably the latter.

Quotes:

Mona: "I think my sense of smell has improved because of Wolfie. And you smell exactly like... Nate." Zari: "No, I don't." Mona: "It's definitely Nate. Nate and something else. Arousal?"

Zari: "We are so not passing the Bechdel test right now."

Charlie: "If you don't jump that buff coachman's bones, I will."

Bride: "I cannot marry you, Mr. Dockerty. My heart yearns for another. Our family's scullery maid! Ellen? Are you here?" Ellen the Scullery Maid: "I am! I love you, too!" Mr. Dockerty: "I give not one fig, Miss Sinclair, for my heart and my lower extremities yearn for... your mother!" Mrs. Sinclair: "Get over here, gorgeous!" Charlie: "Now this is what I call a wedding."

Charlie: "Ah, buffing the old bishop, was we? It's all right mate, no judgement here." #ThingAmayaWasUnlikelyToSay

Jane Austen: "Shall we take a turn around the room while we converse?" Mona: "We'd be delighted to. (to Sara) It's a Regency thing. Go with it."

Sara: "Cheer up. I mean, what does Jane Austen know?" Mona: "How to be witty and wise and mix satire with romance."

Charlie: "Wait a sec... is this a Bollywood musical number?" Zari: "You bet your ass it is."

Our romantic heroes, Miss Sinclair and Ellen the Scullery Maid.

Bits and Pieces:

-- Again they built up a situation where I expected Nate to have an emotional rift with the group, and again they undercut it by Nate being totally chill and understanding with Ray about Nora, and even telling him that he loved him and always would. I'm just never prepared for people to behave like rational adults on television. They get me with that one every time.

-- The image of the mirror shattering as John understands what exactly was happening with the demon Neron and Dez was a lovely visual metaphor for how he was feeling at the time. Well directed.

-- Do rich people really do open casket viewings in their own homes still?

-- It was an odd choice for Ray to hide Nora on the Waverider, but makes sense in a 'last place they'd think to look' sort of way. It does raise the question of why Gideon didn't tell on him, though.

-- Tala Ashe has a beautiful voice and rocked that dance number.

-- Mona is now referring to her were-self as Wolfie, and Wolfie refers to Nora as being weak, so it looks like we're following Hulk rules as far as the personality split goes.

-- I love how when they don't have anything for Mick to do, they just have him eat.

-- Nate/Zari/Kamadeva three way. I'm sure Tala Ashe absolutely hated filming that scene.

-- They finally found a period outfit that Caity Lotz doesn't look immaculate in. The white dress looked wonderful, but the red jacket and bonnet just didn't work for her. The lines of the Regency style are just wrong for her face in a way I can't describe.

-- I suspect that the costumes and staging of Ray and Nora's part of the dance number were a deliberate homage to Xander and Anya in 'Once More with Feeling'. They were definitely more of a book number and will never be a breakaway pop hit.

-- Still no mention of Ava, Sara's dream notwithstanding.  Looks like she's back next week.

So many good parts that all work, even if they don't entirely dovetail with one another. But then we have that great big vile millstone that is the retroactive sainthood of Hank Heywood.

I'm afraid that I can't go any higher than two out of four unaccepted proposals of marriage.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go read Pride and Prejudice.

The version that includes zombies still counts, right?

Mikey Heinrich is, among other things, a freelance writer, volunteer firefighter, and roughly 78% water.

[buffster]

Something Blue (BTVS 4.09)

This is part of my ongoing Buffyverse Project, where I write notes/meta for every episode in an attempt to better understand the characters and themes of the shows. You can find the BTVS list here and the ATS list here. Gifs are not mine.

I loved that Something Blue allowed us to sympathize with both sides of the Willow vs. Scoobies conflict. I’m annoyed when Willow snaps at everyone and interrupts Buffy and Riley’s date, which forces me to recognize truth when Willow says no one wants to deal with her heartbreak anymore. The episode was also really funny.

We discover in the first scene that Willow has been going to Oz’s place alone. She’s clinging to the relationship and fully expects him to return. This is also when Riley and Buffy really get going, which has to be a painful reminder for Willow. I had forgotten about Willow and Buffy’s conversation in the graveyard and in hindsight find it pretty sad. Some of Buffy’s issues with Riley were already present but she basically never dealt with them. I don’t believe the implosion of their relationship was all on Riley. I think he sensed some real issues but just handled it all wrong. 

Buffy: Riley seems so solid. Like he's not the type to give a girl grief.

Willow: Get out. Get out while there's still time.

Buffy: I know. I gotta get over the whole bad boy thing. There's no good there. Seeing Angel in L.A. - even for five minutes - hello to the pain.

Willow: The pain is not a friend.

Buffy: But then I can't help thinking, isn't that where the fire comes from? Can a nice, safe relationship be that intense? It's nuts, but part of me believes that real love and passion have to go hand in hand with lots of pain and fighting-

I’ve never gotten the bad boy thing. It’s all cool on television but in real life it’s dealing with a serial cheater at best and visiting a jail at worst. No, thanks. Anyway Buffy definitely has a thing with it which, if I wanted to get analytical, would say goes back to her father and her fear of healthy relationships. Riley could have been forever and committing to that is scary. But when you know Angel or Spike can’t last you don’t really have to commit or face your fears of ending up like your mother. I think Buffy has a lot of issues with Hank (made worse by her first relationship being a nightmare) that go unresolved. I’m not saying Riley and Buffy would have lasted forever, but I don’t think she ever really gave that idea a chance. 

Buffy: That's it. The invalid amnesiac routine is over. Kitchens closed 'til you tell me something useful about the commandos.

Spike: I'm trying to remember. It was very traumatic.

Buffy: How long are you going to pull this crap?

Spike: How long am I gonna live once I tell you?

Many people have wondered why Buffy didn’t stake Spike in season four and consider it a plot hole. I don’t doubt wanting to keep James Marsters around was a contributing factor, but I think we can also find signs Buffy had something for Spike in this episode. I don’t think it was love--just a weird sense of companionship mixed with physical attraction. They’d been rivals for so long they were practically pals (and his affection for Drusilla had always made him seem pathetic and more human to everyone). When they take him prisoner Giles is content to ignore Spike but Buffy sits by the side of the bathtub and teases him. They’re already developing that classic trope of the two people who fight so much you just figure they’ll eventually screw. Giles even notes that if they don’t kill each other soon he might lend a hand. 

Willow’s solution to the Spike problem is a truth spell. In season six her going straight for a magical solution would have raised eyebrows but now everyone thinks it’s brilliant. It was probably frustrating for Willow that her magical help abruptly became an issue. 

Giles: Willow may have had a helpful idea. She seems to be coping better with Oz' departure, don't you think?

Buffy: She's still got a way to go, but yeah -I think she's dealing.

Spike: What are you people, blind? She's hanging on by a thread. Any ninny can see that.

There’s an interesting irony in Spike being so good at reading people he doesn’t care about in the slightest. He’s proven right when Willow returns to Oz’s room and finds his things gone. She’s devastated and returns to moping around until she finally decides to get drunk. Xander and Buffy don’t approve. 

Xander: We’ve all got pain, Will--

Willow: Like what? Poor me, I live in a basement? Oh, yeah-that’s dire!

Buffy: I’m taking you home now.

Willow: I don’t want to--

Buffy: You’ll thank me when you still have a friend in the morning.

That made me so sad, especially given Xander’s usual attempts to cheer his friends up even when he’s feeling bad. It highlights a typical Xander issue--human problems tend to go unnoticed in all the supernatural chaos. Xander isn’t going to have a spell go awry and cause mass chaos when he’s upset so people just leave him to deal. 

Willow: Isn’t there some way I can make it go away? Just ‘cause I say so? Can’t I make it go poof?

This quote points us to a major underlying issue of Willow’s: she doesn’t like to fix things the hard right way. She loves magic because (aside from the power) it allows her to take short cuts. She doesn’t want to take the long, hard, and human path to healing and (later) forgiveness. This episode is one where you can really see Willow slowly going down the rabbit hole with magic and no one realizes what’s going on. 

Giles: A spell? I don't think it's wise for you to be doing that alone right now. Your energy is too unfocused. 

Willow: That's not true. I said I was off. Not incompetent.

Giles: I only meant that you're grieving, and it might be best if you took a break from doing spells without supervision.

Willow: So I get punished 'cause I'm in pain.

Giles misses the main things Willow is saying here: one, she does not like to be thought of as incompetent and two, she considers taking a break from magic a punishment. Willow craves approval and is already too reliant on magic. She is also deeply insecure and seeks to use magic to fix that (”if I had any real power I could have made Oz stay with me”). Buffy starts to tell her that she doesn’t want Oz to stay because she forced him but gets distracted. We avoided an important question--does Willow have a problem with enslaving Oz?

Buffy: One more word out of you and I swear--

Spike: Swear what? You're not going to do anything to me. You don't have the stones.

Buffy: Oh, I've got the stones. I've got a whole...bunch of stones.

Spike: I get this spell reversed, they'll be finding your body for weeks.

Buffy: Make a move. Please. I'm dying for good slay.

The sexual tension is pretty blatant in this scene. They’re leaning towards each other and you half expect them to kiss. Buffy is clearly attracted to Spike but too proud and disgusted to ever do anything with him (and that’s if she ever even admitted it to herself). 

We revisit the idea that our heroes are “doomed” when it comes to love. Willow calls Xander a demon magnet and causes him to literally attract demons because of her spell. Giles becomes blind, which was interesting because he does see things but often willfully ignores them. Buffy and Spike think they’re in love and getting married. 

Buffy: My wedding! I'm getting married! Can you believe it?

Riley: I don't think "no" is a strong enough word.

Possibly my favorite scene was when Riley runs into Buffy and believes she’s getting married. I laugh every time. She manages to save face when the spell is over by claiming she was teasing him over his panic when he saw her looking at wedding dresses. 

Xander: Something about Willow and her grief-y poor-me mood swings. So, so tired of it.

Anya: You mean I don't have to be nice to her anymore?

Buffy: We're all tired of it, but what's it have to do with what's going on?

I saw a post mentioning it’s pretty obvious Anya is autistic, which was like--lightbulb! I find her character annoying at times but one thing I identify with is her being a bit stumped by certain emotions and social appropriateness. Anyway, one big neon warning sign the Scoobies miss is Willow being offered vengeance demon status. Heartbreak is one thing, but being recognized as a possible force for never-ending vengeance is a whole other level that clearly points to some deeper issues. It doesn’t surprise me that Anya doesn’t think much of it; she probably thinks her similar capabilities are a normal way to feel. But the hatred and drive for that kind of thing isn’t something every human is capable of. After all, Cordelia was not given the offer after the Wishverse. But Willow turns down the offer and bakes everyone cookies and all is forgiven.

Other Best Quotes:

Buffy: Honey, we have to talk about invitations. Do you want to be "William the Bloody" or, like just "Spike"? 'Cause either way it's gonna look majorly weird.

Spike: Whereas the name "Buffy" gives it that touch of classic elegance.

Giles: Stop whatever you're doing. You smell like fruit roll-ups.

Spike: This is the crack team that foils my every plan? I am deeply shamed.

Character Notes:

Riley Finn: Buffy catches him helping hang a sign about the meeting of the UC Sunnydale Lesbian Alliance, telling us he’s a good, community-involved guy. He loves to cruise. 

Anya Jenkins: When she sees Willow is sad she says she’d burn Oz’s entrails if she still had her powers. Xander says that’s sweet. Anya is able to help when a demon attacks. She was turned 1120 years ago.

Amy Madison: Willow’s spell briefly turns her back into a human, but she’s back in rat form before anyone sees.

Buffy Summers: Buffy still doesn’t know how to drive. When under the spell she asks Giles to give her away at her wedding rather than her father and wants ‘Wind Beneath My Wings’ for the first dance.

Rupert Giles: He’s touched Buffy wants him to give her away. Despite his reluctance when Willow was in high school Giles now depends on her help when it comes to magic.

[marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer]

MTVS Epic Rewatch #167

BTVS 6x15 As You Were

Stray thoughts

1) Don’t you hate those loser guys who are working the same job as you are and yet they still believe they’re better than you? I hate them with the firey passion of a thousand suns. Pretentious twats.

TODD: You see, Buffy, the thing you gotta learn about the Palace, and this takes a while, is that job security all boils down to one simple thing. Politics.  Now, I'm not a political animal, but you learn fast around here or it's wham! Hello, glass ceiling. I mean, it's not like we work at Burger World, or the Happy Bun, where the power structure is simple. No, here at the Palace, you gotta keep your friends close, but your enemies? Closer. It's like Machiavelli says. You know Machiavelli, right?

BUFFY: Tall guy, bleached mullet, works day shifts? TODD: I'm sorry. My bad. I keep forgetting you dropped out of college. BUFFY: I'm reapplying. TODD: Good luck with that. Well, gotta motor! Don't wanna be late for night school. BUFFY: You go to night school? TODD: I'm working on my MBA. Think I wanna spend the rest of my life cleaning grease traps?

2) Now, this truly was a low point…

VAMP: What's that smell? Geez, Slayer, is that you? BUFFY: I've been working! VAMP: Where, in a slaughterhouse?! BUFFY: Double Meat Palace. VAMP: Ohhh. You know what? Let's just call it a night. If it's all the same to you, and you've been eating that stuff, I'm not so sure I wanna bite you. BUFFY: You're dead! You smell like it! How do you get to say I'm the one who's stinky? VAMP: Really, it's, it's cool, I'll just catch you next time.

A vampire walking away from you because of how awful you smell? That must hurt… It’s no surprise she needed a little comfort after that...

3) Low point, meet lower point...

BUFFY: Oh, for Pete's sake. Spike?

SPIKE: Ah, it's a fair cop, you caught me, Slayer. However, in all honesty, I think we have to say this one doesn't count. After all, I wasn't exactly hiding.

BUFFY: No, Spike. SPIKE: No? What kind of answer is that, you haven't even heard the question yet. BUFFY: I don't have to. We both know what you're thinking. SPIKE: And we both know... that I'm not the only one thinking it.

BUFFY: No! Not here.

And yet...

The writers really wanted to make a point of how this was their dynamic as a couple (or whatever they were), with Spike always pushing, Buffy always saying no and yet eventually giving in. Of course, the situation was quite different when she said no and really meant it. But there’s no need to get ahead.

4) Oh, we get it, the sex was rough.

DAWN: Rough night? BUFFY: The usual.

WILLOW: Hey, workin' lady. Rough night? BUFFY: Why does everybody keep asking me that?

DAWN: Some vamp get rough with you? BUFFY: He's not getting any gentler.

5) Look, even if you find Dawn annoying, you gotta admit that her being the biggest Tara/Willow shipper is the cutest (and enough reason to love her a little, okay? so please try and love her a little?) And Willow is actually acting so mature about the whole thing, so much progress for her!

DAWN: Big wedding coming up... lots of date possibilities... you and Tara are speaking again. You wanna call her? Invite her over? WILLOW: Oh, no. Too soon for so bold a maneuver. But if I did call? She wouldn't hang up on me. DAWN: That's progress! WILLOW:  Hence the happy.

6) Poor Buffy…

Was she really ready to go back to college at this point, though? 

7)

Riley: *shows up* Me:

I’m mostly kidding, though. I don’t really mind him in this episode, and his presence gave Buffy the much-needed perspective to try and get her shit together.

8) Iconic!

RILEY: I want to explain, I just don't have time. I've been up for 48 hours straight tracking something bad, and now it's come to Sunnydale.

9) I get why she left with him. Buffy was in her prime while she was dating Riley, and she had been feeling like shit for so long she’d almost forgotten what it felt to be great and heroic, to just feel good. She’s so excited to leave the Doublemeat Palace because she’s probably reading into what Riley is proposing as her chance to get her fire back, to go back to her glory days.

This crappy screenshot doesn’t do justice to her facial expression, but she looks hopeful and nervous and excited. She’s feeling something other than numbness, and I’m kinda happy for her, even if it was because of Riley.

10) I love the joke, but at the same it made me wonder... didn’t Riley keep in touch with Xander or anyone? Or didn’t he keep track of Buffy from the shadows? Didn’t he know she’d died? Did no one bother to try and tell him? I mean, Willow traveled to L.A. to tell Angel, but Buffy’s “love” during season 5 was Riley... (this only proves my theory that not even the characters cared about him, but in real life, no matter how bland and boring Riley was, someone would’ve told him his former girlfriend had passed away.)

RILEY: I hear ya. Got some, uh ... big stories to tell you to. If we ever get half a second. BUFFY: Did you die? RILEY: No. BUFFY: I'm gonna win

11) So, anyone else thinks Riley omitted mentioning he was married on purpose? They were hanging out for quite a while before his wife showed up…

12) This reminds of Buffy in the Prom.

ANYA: No! I've been through too much planning this wedding, and it is going to happen. It is going to be our perfect, perfect day if I have to kill every one of our guests and half this town to do it.

13) Yeah, that face… he was keeping quiet about his marriage for a reason…

14) This is how you do BFing.

WILLOW: Just so you know? I'm prepared to hate this woman any way you want. BUFFY: Thanks, but no. I don't wanna seem all petty. WILLOW: Well, that's the beauty! You can't, but I can. Please. Let me carry the hate for the both of us.

15) Yes, I’m Willow.

Xander: *compliments Sam*

Wilow:

16) Come on, can we really believe that the guy who couldn’t even kill himself right was behind this international scheme? Because I can’t.

BUFFY: So, demon eggs. Any timetable on when they're gonna hatch? RILEY: Hatching's not the problem. SAM: We think they're gonna be sold on the black market. There are some foreign military powers that would love to have their own Suvolte. You could never train it, but drop it on an urban population... RILEY: And it cleanses the area. DAWN: Is that a nice way of saying it kills people? SAM: Lots of 'em. Money's been exchanged. There's a dealer in town, calls himself The Doctor.

17) Buffy was kind of oblivious about how obsessed Riley had been about her.

SAM: Maybe not for you. I gotta tell you, Buffy, I'm a little bit intimidated. I mean, patrolling with the real live Slayer, you're like... Santa Claus, or Buddha, or something. BUFFY: Fat and jolly? SAM: Legendary. And it's not just slayer status I'm talking about. It's you. BUFFY: Riley talks about me? SAM: He didn't say anything for a long time, but I could tell. He was ripped up inside.

That sounds about right.

18) And of course, she goes to Spike. I mean, she was feeling like crap, and even though being with Spike would make her feel like crap afterwards, it was a quick fix to make her forget how shitty her life was and to make her feel loved and cherished and also powerful.

BUFFY: Tell me you love me. SPIKE: I love you. You know I do.

BUFFY: Tell me you want me. SPIKE: I always want you. In point of fact- BUFFY: Shut up.

And it’s all very clinical, there’s no passion or heat or desire.

19) And then...

Spike was such an idiot, though, mostly because he’s a fucking vampire and he can’t help but be self-involved and apathetic. Like, he cared more about gloating about how he’d gotten Riley’s girl more than about how Buffy was feeling while she was sitting right next to him, embarrassed and humiliated.

20) Okay, this is why, in my opinion, it didn’t make sense for Spike to be the Doctor.

BUFFY: Look, the Doctor, it can't be Spike. SPIKE: No need to defend me, luv.

BUFFY: Look, it can't be, okay? He-he's too incompetent. It's just Spike, Riley. RILEY: Right. Deadly... amoral... opportunistic. Or have you forgotten?

I’m not saying Riley was wrong in his description of Spike. He was completely right. “Deadly, amoral, opportunistic” describes Spike to a tee. But he doesn’t have the kind of smarts necessary to come up with and carry out this type of scheme. He lacks the ability to actually follow-through with stuff. He’s impatient and reckless. He doesn’t think long-term. And even though he is opportunistic, he’s more the “steal the change from the tray”-“go shopping at the dump”-”get a kitten loan to play kitten poker” kind of opportunistic. He really never thinks or plans large scale. His mind just doesn’t go “worldwide smuggling demon eggs” scheme. That’s just not how his brain works.

I understand that it was convenient to have Riley show up and be a righteous hero while exposing Spike in all his vileness. It makes for a very striking contrast and juxtaposition. Or it’s a “metaphor” for whatever the writers had in mind. But I don’t care how much you hate Spike, I think we can all agree it doesn’t make a lot of sense to have him be the Doctor, right?

21) This was a much needed moment, though.

RILEY: By mission parameters I'm done here. But I have authorization to take the Doctor out. Do you want me to do that? BUFFY: Do I want you to... How can you ask me... I'm sleeping with hi-him.  I'm sleeping with Spike.

It’s the first time Buffy had admitted it so bluntly. When she broke down with Tara, she merely implied it and let Tara fill in the blanks on her own. And here she is, admitting she was sleeping with Spike to the one person who probably hated Spike the most, and to whom admitting it was probably the most humiliating for her. She almost chokes on the words, but she gets them out. And I think saying it out loud made it real. And owning up to it opened up her eyes and helped her made the choice to break things off. I mean, as long as she kept it secret, it wasn’t real. She could pretend it didn’t happen, you know?

22)

BUFFY: And then you come back... and did you wait until your life was absolutely perfect and then send that demon here so you could throw it in my face?

I think he actually did.

23) Poor Buffy...

RILEY: Hey! You want me to say that I liked seeing you in bed with that idiot? Or that blinding orange is your very best color? Or that that ... burger smell is appealing? BUFFY: You smelled the smell?

24) I do appreciate his words for Buffy, though.

RILEY: Buffy, none of that means anything. It doesn't touch you. You're still the first woman I ever loved... and the strongest woman I've ever known. And I'm not advertising this to the missus... but you're still quite the hottie. (...)  So you're not in the greatest place right now. And maybe I made it worse. (...) Wheel never stops turning, Buffy. You're up, you're down... it doesn't change what you are. And you are a hell of a woman.

But... I kinda feel this was the writers' way of redeeming Riley, to give him the heroic Nice GuyTM sendoff they messed up in Into the Woods. You see, in that episode, they actually tried to make us root for Riley, to cheer Buffy on as she ran after the boy who had treated her like shit. They had Xander spewing a supposedly inspiring speech to encourage Buffy to follow her heart, while he only knew one side of the story and then quickly dismissed the facts he ignored because they didn’t fit the Riley is a Perfect Boyfriend and You’re Underestimating Him narrative. But I think fans didn’t buy that bullshit. I know I didn’t. When Buffy broke up with Riley, I was rooting for her. Just as I was rooting for Buffy when she broke up with Spike in this episode. Both were the right calls at the time. But the writers probably still wanted us to think Riley was Good, as opposed to Spike, who was Bad. Well, guess what? They’re both Bad. Riley might have a nifty-looking scar now and cool gadgets and an awesome wife, but he still treated Buffy like shit.

25) Don’t you find it ironic that the guy she thought she loved or who she thought was deserving of her love basically told her the exact same words the vampire who she swore she would never love will later tell her?  (”You’re a hell of a woman.”)

26) Ugh they’re so extra, I hate them.

I repeat, I’m Willow.

27) I love this moment so much…

SPIKE: So she's back. Thought you'd be off snogging with soldier-boy. BUFFY: He's gone. SPIKE:  So, you come for a bit of cold comfort? The bed's a bit blown up, but then, that was never our... BUFFY: I'm not here to... And I'm not here to bust your chops about your stupid scheme, either. That's just you. I should have remembered.

SPIKE: So this is worse then, is it, this is you telling me... BUFFY: It's over. SPIKE: I've memorized this tune, luv. Think I have the sheet music. Doesn't change what you want. BUFFY: I know that. I do want you. Being with you... makes things... simpler. For a little while. SPIKE: I don't call five hours straight a little while. BUFFY: I'm using you. I can't love you. I'm just... being weak, and selfish...

SPIKE:  Really not complaining here. BUFFY: ...and it's killing me. I have to be strong about this.

I love it for the honesty. She's not hiding behind her righteousness, and she doesn’t shame him or humiliate him by calling him a thing, a monster, disgusting (even though he is all of those things.) There’s only truth about her feelings. She wants him, he makes her feel good, for a while. But she doesn’t, and she can’t, love him, and it’s unfair to both of them to continue like this. And she apologizes to him and calls him William. He’s a not a thing anymore. He’s an equal, deserving of the minimal human deference on her part. And even though I am a Spuffy shipper, I love Buffy first and foremost, and I wouldn’t want them to be together if it was at the expense of her own sanity and well-being. So yeah, they needed to break up if they were ever to work out as a couple. (I was so naive!)

28) And I love how she walks out of his crypt because you can see she understands that getting better and letting go of this unhealthy behavior is going to be a challenge but she’s finally ready to face it. She’s not scared anymore.

[camellcat]

life is slightly kinder in this au and therefor having kinky vampire sex is NOT a bad thing she deserves to be crucified for!! big wins for the buffster. (#normal again is such an interesting ep because i dont hc buffy as feeling any shame about these relationships but i think the psych ward#that alternate buffy is in would pathologize and shame her SO MUCH for having poly queer vampire relationships. lmaoooooo though this has me laughing a bit. yeah omg psych!buffy would be losing her SHIT)

I like that you include xander onto that list of people buffy would be open with. surprised me a bit but honestly now that we're not dealing with a xander that had to watch angel and buffy date in high school yeah he probably wouldn't be such an ass about her vampire lovers. xander is her best friend, he would get to know. anya would know bc she's downright nosy, and, hey, a bit of gossip is always fun, even when the gossip is just you talking about yourself. anya would totally be fun to talk to, and honestly probably informative for buffy. jenny!! oh my god I've said this before that I don't think giles should've been their only trusted adult and I'm just now realizing like JENNY JENNY HELP THEM!!!!! thank god for jenny. I don't think buffy would talk with her but yeah jenny would know that makes sense to me. and love tara she would totally know the most bc for some reason buffy and tara just really seem to connect over topics that no one else would get

now willow is interesting. she SHOULD be someone buffy can turn to, because it's been willow and buffy since the beginning, but she's not. I loveeeee love love love how you described about willow's reaction to buffy finding just a bit of fucking happiness in her relationships. and jenny's reaction to willow. so good so good

#**ALSO it is real to me that xander and anya have their wedding planned out as per canon and then instead of breaking up they elope#to vegas. and then shortly after being married they separate and the plot continues much the same as canon only they are semi-divorced

OWWW you're still breaking them up? I mean I'm glad we're not having xander walk out on anya because that was ATROCIOUS behaviour from mr loyal over there and I couldn't believe my eyes watching that episode, but ouchie. but also I think this is potential for funnies. it'd still work with their dynamic now that xander didn't leave her in a god-awful way

spuffsilla dynamic oooo oo oo oo. the scene where riley finds them being even worse thanks to dru also being antagonistic is amazing. cause yeah no they should be actually fuck that guy get your kicks in you silly vampires. but also, buffy is NOT appreciating it. still unhealthy but not as bad as canon..... yeah I can take that. as long as we're not talkin buffy's fun fisticuffs and spike's misery manipulation I'm down. also duh it's rough buffy's bored without at least a little bit of a fight somewhere in there whether that's just in the sex or part of the relationship itself. I mean doesn't have to be abusive but she needs to be challenged and spike and dru will CERTAINLY give her one

GAH?! omgggg the scenes with angel are melting meeee. ofccc angel would get all I don't think I'm good for you :( good on buffy reminding him that's silly stupid. sooo cute.

and darla, ha! <3 wonderful wonderful. buffy would totally sputter and snap about it, until spike and dru get in their claims too. gotta let everyone know that girl is TAKEN! I think angel would be too embarrassed to kiss her like that in public but he makes up for it in private. beginning of the infamous vampire harem indeed

theres an au somewhere in which the romani spellcaster that curses angelus doesnt just curse angelus, but rather curses every vampire of the aurelian line in a, say, twelve mile radius to get their soul back.

it's rough, especially for the first few years. spike's the weepiest, but angel takes it the hardest, oddly enough. dru's absolutely nutty over it, but she's always nuts, and anyway, having the three of them to wrangle gives darla something to focus on other than the weight of her sins. they manage.

(one thing she does is research what, exactly, has been done to them. when she finds out about the loophole - even a moment's happiness - there is a gut-lurching second where darla thinks to herself, i can end our agony. and then she thinks of her last kill, a young couple and their toddler. the father had begged darla to spare the little child's life, to take him instead. the mother had clawed at darla, covering her child with her body, screaming as she died.

rather than find that moment's happiness, darla begins new research, looking into ways to secure an immortal soul to a vampire's body permanently. closing the loop, as it were.)

spike eventually gets it into his head that he wants to do the slayer thing - not kill them, like he'd planned, but to help the poor girls. dru gives him the idea. angel leaves them, at that point, in the dead of night, without telling them where he's going. darla lets him go.

there's a girl in peking - xin, her name is, and she's understandably skeptical, but she accepts their help. they fight with her until she dies, a few months later, at the hands of an apocalypse. it breaks spike and dru quite badly - cuts spike's face up, too. darla gets them out, gets them back to europe. leaves them in italy. looks for angel.

she finds him eating rats in new york city, of all places. she shakes some sense into him and gets him some clean clothes, some blood, a place to sleep out of the sun. he's wallowing, which is to be expected, but how does he figure he's going to atone for his sins if he's rotting in the gutter like so much trash?

she's too practical, he tells her. he's too fucking dramatic, she tells him, and makes him eat some more pig's blood, cold.

darla tells him about spike and dru, what they've been up to these past few decades. he shudders when she tells him about xin, her throat ripped out by enemy fangs. angel's intrigued by the concept of helping slayers, but he confesses quietly to darla that he's not ready for that yet.

so they part ways again, with the understanding that they'll stay in touch. darla bounces around the americas, running into spike and dru - sometimes just dru, as spike is off chasing rumors of slayers - until the late 1990s, when she gets a call from angel.

angel's found a girl, and he wants to get the gang back together.