#lmao this update will either please or stress me

[causticsunshine]

.

[cheolaholic]

ring of love; csc (06)

summary; agreeing to join vernon spectate an underground boxing match wasn't how you'd expect to spend your friday night. you also didn't expect to see seungcheol, someone you've lost contact with for years, become a part of the ring.

modern! au • boxer! au • hhu focused • multiple kinds of tropes • fluff, angst, smut

chapter warnings: brief mentions of crimes (drugs, robbery, abduction), brief mentions of sex and hormones

a/n;; i have risen from the dead, everyone. I know it's been a while since I last updated (4 months 💀) But, please enjoy this chapter and hope that I do not disappear for another few more months until the next update lmao. Also posting this update while I'm on my lunchbreak lmao

You didn’t think that figuring out a place to meetup with Seungcheol would be difficult, but alas, it was. The places Seungcheol had initially suggested were either too far or the price range of their menus could amount to at least a month’s worth of your rent. Maybe it was the years of not seeing him that you had forgotten his parents had their own businesses, which obviously, means money is never an issue for Seungcheol.

After telling him you had to commute to some of the places or either needing to Uber or have Vernon pick you up, Seungcheol found a decently priced cafe near your place with a cosy looking interior design. Having finally settled down on a place to meetup, you now began to stress about an outfit.

You tore through your entire wardrobe before finally panic-calling Aki who agreed to help, on the condition that you tell her everything that will go down at the meetup. You agreed and after hours of outfit try-ons, you settled on a brown oversized sweater, a black pleated skirt, paired together with doc martens loafers.

“Are you sure this looks okay…?” your voice full of uncertainty as you stared at your reflection. Aki, who was on video call on your phone that’s propped up on your dresser, rolls her eyes at your question. “Babes, you’re literally so pretty right now that you could be someone’s gay or bi-awakening. Don’t worry, okay? I'm sure he’s equally nervous of finally seeing you again after what? Almost half a decade?”

“That's a dramatic way to say almost 5 years, but okay.”

“Just be your normal self, ___. Even if he’s changed appearance or physique wise, I'm sure he’s still the same ol’ Seungcheol from more than a decade ago. Well, at least for you, it’s more than a decade.”

“That is true… thanks for helping me out, Aki.”

“Anything for my bestie. Now, go and see your prince charming!”

“Can you and my parents stop calling him my prince charming?” you whined, only for Aki to shoo you through your phone.

“Tell me the deets afterwards! I want all the nitty-gritty - don’t you dare leave anything out!”

Seungcheol got to the cafe an hour earlier than the agreed meeting time. He tried to get some sleep but the adrenaline of being able to see you again kept him up. Sitting at the booth and occasionally glancing at the door, he would try to come up with things to talk about. Of course, he knew he had to explain why he dropped off the face of the earth for years without contacting you. But, he still needed to think of other ways to fix the rift between you both.

“Seungcheol…?”

When he hears his name being called, he lifts up his head and it was as if time had stopped. There you were, shyly standing in front of him as you fiddled with the hem of your skirt. A few seconds after he realised he was staring, Seungcheol snapped back into reality. “Have a seat, __.” Ushering to the seat across him, flashing you that gummy smile that still sent your heart running for miles.

You did as told and after placing both your orders to the waitress who came over, Seungcheol nervously rubbed the back of his neck. “So… I didn’t know you were friends with Vernon…” he began, “Let alone a best friend since, y’know, Aki.”

“Yeah, I didn't really have a choice when he came up to me with that awful tie-dye during orientation. I was so glad when he got rid of it with how much my eyes were hurting.”

“That's Vernon for you,” he chuckles, “When he said he invited a friend, I was expecting maybe a classmate since Mingyu did the same with him.”

As you fidget, Seungcheol takes notice and leans his elbows on the table, reaching out a hand. “Hey, no need to be scared, okay? I know it’s been years and you’re most likely overthinking things right now, but I'm still me.”

“Where did you go…?” you asked in a shaky voice, “You just… ghosted me and later on, I found out you’ve been in Seoul for a while. Why… why didn’t you try to reach out?”

Withdrawing his hand and thrumming his fingers against the surface of the table, Seungcheol was silent for a moment before explaining himself. “That weekend when I headed to Seoul to check out Pledis, they had told my parents I qualified for one of their pre-u programmes. But, the slots in Korea were full, and if I did want to join the programme, I had to join their partnering unis abroad. They had Carat University in Japan and An Ode University in Melbourne.”

You quietly listened to Seungcheol as he continued.

While he wouldn’t mind waiting for an empty slot to be available in Pledis but, his parents had encouraged him to enrol into An Ode as they had an apartment in Melbourne. In the event he didn’t want to stay on his own, they’d be more than willing to pay for his dormitory. “They said the enrolment opportunities for pre-u programmes like these are rare… And, since I was given the opportunity, they encouraged me to take the chance.”

“… And you did…”

“I missed you like crazy, _. But, I couldn't get your calls or texts, not even reply nor call you back because I had to wait two weeks to be able to get a new phone and sim card. When I finally did get them, you had changed your number…”

Your face went red with embarrassment at the memory. A few days after your return from Jeju, your parents had brought you to go shop for a new phone and you’ve decided to change your number in the process. Since Seungcheol had dropped off the face of the earth at the time, you thought it wouldn’t matter anyway if you had changed your number since what were the chances of him calling you?

Turns out you were wrong.

“When I finished the programme, I stayed in Melbourne for a year and a half for their business course before transferring back to Korea to finish it in Pledis.”

“That was… that was at least two and a half years ago. Seungcheol, are you… are you telling me within those two years you never bothered to even look for me?”

“I did! I went back to Daegu to look for you, but your parents had told me you went to Pledis! I tried finding you all over the place, but for some reason you were never in my line of sight!”

“Wait, wait,” holding up your hand in disbelief to stop him from talking, “you went to see my parents? They never told me anything!”

“I begged them not to tell you!” he defended, “I wanted it to be a surprise! I wasn’t expecting our first meeting after years to be you witnessing me boxing!”

“How did you get into it in the first place though?” you asked, the waitress arriving with a tray of drinks and some cakes, “I heard you’ve been underground boxing for a year now.” Taking a sip from his drink, Seungcheol stared out the window, watching random cars and pedestrians pass by.

“I’ve been underground boxing for two years, actually, when I was back in Melbourne.” he answered. “A senior saw me during one of my Taekwondo matches during pre-u and invited me to try boxing. A few months later, he introduced me to this trainer who was looking to coach someone for a boxing match and everything just kinda fell into place.”

As a blanket of silence fell over the table, you muttered out a small “I missed you…”. Seungcheol gives you a smile, reaching out his hands to hold yours as he brings them to his lips, placing a kiss on your knuckles – an action that causes you to blush. “Well, I’m here now. I’ll make it up to you, alright?”

“I expect good food.”

And he replies with a sentence that has the butterflies you thought had died start fluttering again.

“Anything for you, pup.”

“...No…”

“Yes.”

“No… You’re lying…‘

“___, I swear on my life, I am not lying.”

“Ew, Cheol, that’s gross!” You whined, pushing at his shoulder with a disgusted expression, “I don’t need to hear about your sex life – much less a three way you had!”

Seungcheol laughs at your reaction, “Hey, if you think mine’s gross, you sure hear Mingyu’s. Who knew models were so… hormonal.”

“Lalala, I’m not listening!”

After your catch-up lunch at the cafe, you brought Seungcheol to the park near your apartment. The area enroute… was sketchy, to say the least, and that was putting it lightly. If you were to remove the sugarcoating, it looks as though you could get mugged or abducted if you lady luck was having a bad day and decided to take it out on you.

“No offence, pup –”

“Non taken.”

“But, at least three blocks of your housing area looks like they’re being used for drug operations. I know you can fight for yourself – I mean, I taught you how to defend yourself when we grew up together. But, have you ever thought about… y’know, moving to a safer area?” 

You had thought about moving out, but with the current rent prices being equivalent to a monthly mortgage payment, the dingy area is the best you got.

“I mean… It can’t be that bad, right…?”

“___, look at the place… I know you value your independence but, surely there are studios or apartments for rent that are safer and more… well lit, y’know?” Seungcheol notices how you began to pick at your nails, a habit he’s noticed when you both grew up and a sign that you were either anxious, nervous or both.

“Budget restraints?”

“Yeah… This is the best I got, Cheollie… Anywhere close to campus is expensive, and a decent apartment is… well… if I had a mortgage, I could pay that off, y’know…? I have a part-time job – I work as a barista at one of the cafes near campus. It pays decently, kind of higher than the usual amount part-timers get per hour but, let’s say I move out and rent an apartment near campus – I wouldn’t be left with much money after paying for rent and the utility bills…”

“Ever thought of getting roommates?”

“In case you’ve forgotten, Mr Choi, I am not a people’s person. Ask Hansol, it took me a year to actually open up to him, even after he’s been introducing me as his best friend for months.”

“Your parents should have property in Seoul, right? Why don’t you stay there instead?”

“Because I’m an only child, Seungcheol. My parents will pay the bills even if I was willing to fork up my own cash!”

Adding on the fact that you had no transport of your own, the dingy little apartment area really did seem like the best option for you – at least, for Seungcheol he was still… iffy (rightfully so, he wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to you).

“Any public transport nearby?”

“There’s a bus stop that’s a 5 minute walk away from my place.”

“Okay…”

What you forgot to mention however, was the lack of reliable or functioning light source of said bus stop to your apartment’s lobby. But, surely, it wasn’t a detail worth mentioning to Seungcheol, you thought to yourself.

“Y’know, I thought your crush on Seungcheol would actually die down within those 5 years of no-contact.” Aki confessed as you typed on your laptop, phone propped up against one of your pen organisers. “I mean, it kind of did? But, instead of you being over over him, it’s more like… it’s more like your feelings weren't as obvious as back then.”

“Was it that obvious though?” you asked, turning your head to look at her as she shrugged her shoulders, “Not gonna lie, you’re pretty good at hiding it. I only noticed it after spending more time with you and noticing the subtle signs. If anyone was observant enough, they’d notice. But, to those that just look over the surface, not really.”

“...Do you think Cheol noticed…?”

“___, I might offend you and almost all the male species out there with this statement but, boys are dumb.” Aki moves her position from her desk to her bed, lying down on her stomach. “You both have been friends since you were kids so he should be picking up the signs. If he doesn’t then he’s either dumb or playing dumb.”

There was a moment of silence between the two of you before you asked, “Do you think he knows I like him and he’s just playing me?”

“You and I both know Seungcheol isn’t like that,” Aki began, “Your well-being is a priority to him – you’re a priority to him. Maybe he’s never thought about it, y’know? You both grew up together, maybe the lines were blurred to him.”

“But… what if he is, and he’s just really good at hiding it?” you asked again, the anxiety and nervousness eating you up as you thought about Seungcheol taking advantage of your feelings.

“___, darling, you and I both know Seungcheol always puts his loved ones above him – he makes them a priority. And, he’s always put you first, even up to the point he dropped off the face of the earth!”

Aki could still see the uncertainty on your face, which by all means, you had every right to feel that way. After all, Seungcheol had gone no-contact for 5 years and a person can change a lot within those 5 years. Who’s to say he actually is just a bastard who would step on people’s heads just to get what he wants. “Why don’t you start spending more time with him? Like the good ol’ times!” Aki suggested.

“Rekindle the friendship, y’know? Sure, you both had a catch up session today, but you and I both know that isn’t enough. 5 years worth of catching up – and not to mention, I need to kick his ass.”

You let out a small laugh, “You’ll need to fly over to do that, Aki.”

“Hey, don’t tempt me, ___.” Aki playfully warns, narrowing her eyes at you and pointing a finger at the screen, “I have the money to do so, and I will.”

“God, Aki…”

"Hey, Seungcheol isn't the only one that would do anything for you and has the money to do so."

[0212] cheollie: hey, ik it's pretty late rn [0213] cheollie: but, i just wanted to text you this before i forget [0213] cheollie: thanks for agreeing to meet up with me today and hear me out about my whole disappearance and lost all contact [0213] cheollie: and i'm really, really, really glad that you still see me as that boy you grew up with all those years ago [0214] cheollie: and i really had a great time catching up with you today [0214] cheollie: and i'll always be here for you if you ever need me, ok?

Seungcheol stared at the text he's about to send out.

i'm always going to be right by your side no matter what

After silently debating with himself, he deleted the draft and set his phone on his nightstand, laying in his bed as he stared at the ceiling of his dark bedroom - contemplating as he slowly drifted off to sleep.

taglist (unable to tag a few ㅠㅠ)

@yoonclip @1004luvangel @catjunhui @mystikha @spk93 @tinkerbell460 @yoozuku @dnylwooo @christinewithluv @limbomoon @plutoxxxworld @i-give-up-1234 @m1ngyuc0re @yunloyal @leclercloverbot @bettybeako @billboard-singer @ocyeanicc @krupyadoorrahe @seobinnieshi @xcynthiaaa @k411z @disneyprincesshuri @sunnyapp @khxsh @staygenezy @loufi8iepuff @ursweetener @noisypapergalaxy @wonwootakemyheart @sugainpinksweater @leah-rose03 @thisisnotthelastofus @yearnoclock @kwonhoeshi @ohmygodwhyareallusernamestaken @ru-lin @deobiforever @belladaises @cheoliekkuma @duskunt1ldawn @hyneyedfiz @marshmallowshouse @ak6ko @chwevernonlover @jejuboo-s @tsukinluv @atinytinaa @gyros-cum-sock @soupbinlily @jungwoos-luvr @ener-energy @watermelon-sugars-things @cyberpunkhwx @ddaengpotate @nightwingsrobbinhoods @chaerrylov3r @joshuaahong @wonussmile @uliceeeeeeee @wonwoo24 @shinetogether17 @simplejihoon @luvkpopp @minhui896

[s1arco]

summary of what I've seen going on with Pressure currently

UPDATE: THE SALE SEEMS TO BE CANCELLED, EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE POST WILL BE LEFT ALONE TO READ BUT THE SCREENSHOTS OF THIS WILL BE AT THE BOTTOM

this is copy/pasted from what I sent to a friend so some things might seem weird. if I missed important details please let me know so I can edit it in

im also doing live updates on the Discord specifically in this Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/PressureRoblox/comments/1h6itjk/update_on_current_official_discord_after_people/

for the homophobia: mostly really seems like people overreacting to jokes made, mostly back when the game was much smaller. there has been recently mods not effectively moderating stuff, including homophobic stuff, so while its mostly an overreaction, they still have fucked up some

for the friends with pedo: i cant say a lot, i saw a screenshot of a supposed pedo being in the Discord but not enough information either way to confirm or deny if its true

someone also spread the rumor that Zerum sent Gianni voice lines to do that made him uncomfortable enough to consider quitting Pressure, that just ended up being a complete lie lmao

also there was just more people bringing up Zerum and Fishbun harrassment and shipping and Sebastian in dresses being banned in the Discord and stuff, though thats all old news

thats the very quick rundown, if you wanted more youd probably have to go on Twitter /hj

now Zeal's Twitter account has been completely changed to an Urbanshade account, and it was announced hes selling Pressure. right now current theories are

a) he actually is selling Pressure

b) this is a rushed, stressed decision made due to the harassment the dev and mod teams, meaning that this decision may be reversed later

c) someone hacked his account to fuck with fans or, more likely, scam people

also from what people (and i lmao) think this seems more likely its either a stressed decision or a hacker due to the worse grammar than usual

right now it has been confirmed that he is trying to sell Pressure. I personally still leave open the possibility that this could be a rushed decision, but I will not try to claim that that's whats fact, and encourage others not to too

and these are what have been said by the team since locking things down, in general and the server announcements each

Now Zeal has deleted the sale tweets and retweeted that it is not for sale and that he's being cared for. I hope he does well and takes a hiatus to calm down before he does anything related to Pressure for now

[leave-it-to-lammyo]

Hello!

"Only those who have found the truth can choose their destiny!" (Shuichi Saihara)

Hello, I'm Lam or Lammyo 🐑, I go by He/Him pronouns ( <- transmasculine dumbass ) and I'm Straight ( WOMEN ARE HOT OKAY- ). ( Basically I'm just a goofy ahh stupid black boy )

This blog is used for my many interests and hyperfixations. I will add TWs in the title of a post if it's about a sensitive topic/subject, I also make art and stuffs.

Please be respectful to me and my mutuals. Do not go and harass/terrorize me or them over stupid things. I'm willing to hear people out but if you make me or another person upset, I'm going to call you out on it. Also if you don't like me, there's a block button for a reason. Please use it.

Basic DNI list, etc.

I am a teenager, so if we are going to interact, don't be too weird...

I suffer from ADHD, Stress, Anxiety, & PTSD.

My Interests 🧠:

Danganronpa

Panty and Stocking With Garterbelt

9-1-1 Lone Star

9-1-1

Ikenfell

Tattletail

The Amazing Digital Circus

Battle For Dream Island ( and other object shows by JacknJellify )

Undertale

Deltarune

Scott Pilgrim

Amphibia

Beastars

Left 4 Dead & Left 4 Dead 2

Yuyu Hakusho

Pokémon

Dungeons and Dragons

Night in the Woods

Sally Face

Five Nights At Freddy's

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Parappa The Rapper

Um Jammer Lammy

And other fandoms !!

Kins N' shit 💻:

Gonta Gokuhara , Shuichi Saihara, Kaito Momota, Kokichi Ouma, Kaede Akamatsu, Miu Iruma, Maki Harukawa, Ibuki Mioda, Himiko Yumeno, Mondo Owada, Kiyotaka Ishimaru, Chihiro Fujisaki, etc.

T.K. Strand, Carlos Reyes, Marjan Marwani, & Paul Strickland

Maritte, Gilda, Ima, Petronella

Yusuke Urameshi, Hiei, & Kurama

Pomni, Kinger, Ragatha, Gangle, & Zooble

Needle, Firey, Leafy, Price Tag, Winner, Loser, & Cake

Asriel, Frisk, Chara, Napstablook, Mettaton, & Papyrus

Ralsei, Kris, Noelle, & Jevil

Kim Pine, Young Neil, Scott Pilgrim, Roxy Richter, & Ramona Flowers

Marcy Wu & Anne Boonchuy

Michaelangelo, Leonardo, Donatello, & Raphael

Panty Anarchy, Stocking Anarchy, & Briefers Rock

Mae & Bea

Sal Fisher

Foxy, Bonnie, Freddy, Lolbit etc.

Katy Kat, Takoyama, & Cheap Cheap the Chicken

Lammy, Katy Kat, Rammy, & Ma-San

And other fictional characters !!

Tags💥:

#lam speaks - just talking

#lammyo rants/rambles - ranting and rambling about interests or things that bug me

#lammyo draws - I did art and slapped my name on it

#lam vents - venting out emotional feelings towards subjects or things about myself

#lammyo is a fucking idiot - shitposting ¯\_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯

#lammyo's ideas - ideas or thoughts I come up with for fandoms ( aus, headcanons, etc. )

If you find an acc with either the names chainsaw-lullaby/fizzygutzzz then I guarantee you it's me lmao

(f)art splurgeeee !!!

( Top section has the newest, bottom has the oldest of arts )

Ma socials !!:

AO3

Pinterest

Bsky

Pixiv

Anyhoosies! Hopefully this gave more info about me and my page. My DMs are always open and I'm always welcome to communicating with y'all! I'll try to reply as fast as I can! Thanks for reading! :}

"Gonta wants to become gentleman! Gonta protect friends, just like bugs!" (Gonta Gokuhara)

( Last updated 3/13/25 )

[a-killer-obsession]

Wanna say real quick if you're a fanfic writer and you're looking at my page like "ohhh they hit 500 followers so fast and they have a upload schedule and post twice a week, maybe i have to post twice a week to get followers" - Stop

This turned into a whole guide for newbies so more under the cut

Please do not use me as an example! Im disabled and unemployed which means i have time to write two chapters a week, please do not put that sort of pressure on yourself!!! I only let myself have a upload schedule because i keep a small backlog of chapters, meaning i have some buffer if my health is bad or i get writers block, and as yall saw recently i will take a break if i loose that backlog. If i was forcing myself to write two chapters a week on a strict deadline i would absolutely loose my shit and probably burn out very quickly. And to be entirely honest, I haven't seen much difference in follower growth now that I have a schedule versus when I was just posting whenever I remembered to. I really don't think a schedule makes a huge difference, I just like having one because it gives me some sense of routine now that I'm unemployed.

What im trying to say, especially if you're new to posting fanfics, is please dont stress yourself out by thinking you need a strict schedule for anyone to like your fic or follow you. You shouldn't be writing for followers anyway, write for yourself! Write because YOU want to write. And if you fall out of love with that writing, dont feel like you need to force it just to make others happy! When i get burnt out writing Wavelengths, I keep going because *I* want to get to the ending, I've been excited to write it for months. Its another reason i dont start writing new long forms until i have a generic plan of where im going, which is something i highly recommend. Having a chapter you're excited to write really helps when you're trying to find motivation.

While I have you here, let me lay down some general tips for new fanfic writers, especially for those who post on tumblr:

Write because you want to write. Don't ever feel like you need to cater to someone else, that's a sure fire way to get burn out

If you do get burn out: don't worry about it, either it'll pass or it won't. Maybe you'll drop that idea all together and move to something new. Don't sweat it, write what makes you happy. Forcing yourself will only make it worse and it'll show in your writing. Writing fanfics is a hobby, it should be FUN. Sure someone might come across your fic years from now and be sad that it's not complete but they'll probably only be sad for a few days at most and then they'll forget about it. Its not a big deal. Who knows, maybe you'll find inspiration years down the line and make someone's day by randomly updating after years of hiatus. It happens 🤷

Dont worry about how much engagement your fic gets. I know absolutely incredible fics that get barely any engagement, and some frankly hard reads that have a ridiculous amount. Its all just dumb luck really. Again - write because you want to

Don't sweat typos too bad. I recommend finishing your chapter/one shot, giving it a day or so, and THEN come back to proof read. I find doing this gives me fresh eyes and I often find a lot of ways to improve the chapter while I'm fixing typos. If you accidentally leave typos in there, don't worry too much. As long as it makes enough sense for people to understand what you meant, people will still read it. Just look at the first few chapters of Wavelengths for example, they're riddled with typos from swapping from 3rd to 1st person, but people still read them (I'LL FIX THEM SOON I PROMISE LMAO)

Don't worry about being cringe. Cringe is dead, make your characters as self inserty and over powered as you want. CRINGE IS DEAD. If you think its fun to write powers and tropes that you're worried will be cringe, fuck it, write it anyway. As long as YOU have fun writing it. Do you know how many "whoops accidental pregnancy" trope fics I've written? Every single one of my long forms has either had it, or planned to, because I like that trope! I don't care if its cringe, I will continue to get my characters knocked up

Some quick accessibility things:

Please left align your fic! I've seen people posting center and right aligned because it "looks cool". These alignments should be used sparingly! As well as things like italics and different fonts/font sizes/colours! They should be used to highlight small sections only! Otherwise they can make it very difficult for people with reading difficulties to read!

If you're posting on tumblr:

Make sure the majority of your fic uses the default black font. Some people set the whole thing to a different font or the "small" font or a different colour and I literally can't read them, and it makes me so sad! I'm sure I'm not the only one with this issue! Its okay to use other fonts for things like headers and descriptions, but for the bulk of your fic use the default! Theres a graphic designer out there somewhere who spent a long time picking the best font for the body text on this website for a reason!

If your fic is longer than a few paragraphs, use the READ MORE function!!! Either cut under a description or the first few paragraphs so people get a preview of your fic. You may think it's silly to hide most of your fic, but if someone, especially on mobile, comes across your fic automatically trimmed on the fyp, and likes your stuff, and they go to your account to see more and have to scroll for a million years just to get past your newest post, they're quickly going to give up trying to read your other stuff. Using the read more function makes it easy for people to browse your blog and check out more of your works!! It also makes it more likely people will reblog for the same reason.

Along the same lines: have a masterlist. This can be as simple as a pinned post where you add a link every time you post something new. This makes it super easy for people to check out more of your work!

If you have a long form/multi chapter I also recommend going to the previous chapter and adding a "next chapter" link when you post the next one. Not 100% needed though, if you have a masterlist that can be enough on its own, people just appreciate having that next chapter link for binge reading. PUT IT AT THE BOTTOM PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING. I hate when I finish a chapter and have to scroll for a million years to get to the top for the link

Feel absolutely free to use the way I format my fics and masterlist as example, but like I said, it can literally be just as simple as a list of links. I recommend listing the links at bare minimum as the title of the fic, and the pairing people can expect (including if its nsfw is a good idea too)

Speaking of NSFW: if your work isn't suitable for minors please make that clear! Even just a 'minors DNI' at the start of the post is good! If you wanna get fancy there are lots of creators who make lovely 18+/minors dni banners you can use for free, just google it and plenty will come up. If you're not adding a cut before the NSFW content then make sure you mark the post as for mature audiences (idk how you do it on the computer because I'm mostly a mobile user but on mobile you can find it bottom right, the icon with the two people). Not appropriately censoring your posts can result in tumblr restricting and possibly banning your account.

Finally, and this one is oddly specific to people who use google docs, but you can use a copy of this google doc to automatically add all the html to your writing so you can just copy and paste it into tumblr or AO3, instead of having to manually fix all the formatting. Do not just copy and paste AO3 html into tumblr, for some reason it has major issues with italics and will cause you a major headache. Just use the linked doc, its a super time saver, I've been using it for ages now

Okay thanks for reading bye

[justajsworkshop]

I feel like I am stuck because all I care about is manifesting what I want. I see blogs talk about taking time to know SELF but all I want is my desires. does this sound stupid😭 I think this makes things hard for me, I don't feel like I'm at a point in my journey where I want to delve too deep into this. I know it would come eventually but right now, I just want to get out of the situations I am in😭

hey, anon. breathe, breathe, breathe. you're doing ok. you're going to be ok. i promise, i promise. okay, so i'm going to give you some advice/thoughts here like i would to anyone else—like i would to a friend or myself even.

to preface, you do not have to take any of it. so, take that pressure off now that this is scripture lmao. just consider what i'm saying as an alternative perspective on where you're at—from someone who's so been there and is kinda there now at times, ngl—and take what's helpful for you, discard what isn't!

k, so first, let me start by saying you don't have to get deep into the law. i know my blog might sometimes make it seem like you need to, but you don't. i just do because i've been curious about consciousness and god, so it brings me immense pleasure to learn more. there are people out there who just affirm themselves to death, and that works for them without even taking other stuff into account. like, you don't have to put that pressure on yourself to be a philosopher, frfr. that's not a condition/requirement for you to get what you want.

i also want to say that it's okay for you want things to be different for you. in fact, i'm HAPPY you do. because that means you don't want to settle for what you're currently experiencing. so, don't demonize yourself either for wanting a different life/experience. that in and of itself is worthy of celebration. i remember going through terrible experiences and not even allowing myself to want more because i truly thought there was no other option for me than to endure awful conditions.

next, i'm going to invite you to literally just forget about the law and trying to manifest. it's clearly stressing you out, so i would advise to anyone that if it's not benefitting you—and i can tell you've really been trying—let it go for a bit. the law will always be here and working, and you will always be god/consciousness. however, in my experience, when i try manifesting my way out of a situation, i get so fixed on resisting that very situation, i continue to do nothing but breathe life into it.

to be honest, i recommend just taking a moment today or this weekend or whenever you're ready to get clear on your goal. what do you want? what's your ideal? then (and please don't crucify me for this), i invite you to get practical about what next steps you can take that will help alleviate the pressure you're feeling and that will help move you toward your goal. small steps add up. i understand and absolutely empathize with the desire for your life to transform overnight. it can; it absolutely can. but not from the state of waiting for the law to save you.

am i saying work hard? no. am i saying hustle and force yourself to do stuff you hate? no. am i saying the only way to get your desires is through 3D action? no. so, if your ego is going bonkers and spitting fire at me, really digest what i'm suggesting here.

get clear on what you want: one area of improvement that you'd like to alchemize.

what's one step you can and are willing to take today to move yourself toward that goal?

i say this because sometimes it's the best way to get out of your victim/waiting mentality, and then suddenly, all this other stuff opens up because you're not waiting for a miracle. you become the miracle.

if you want me to be your accountability buddy, you're welcome to keep me updated on your progress, too!

[genericpuff]

Alright, update on the tablet situation, I do NOT have good news but there are some silver linings.

First off, thank you all so much for your patience. That one week I took off to relax seemed to be an invitation for the universe to fuck with my shit because my tablet literally chose the worst time to get on my nerves ( This is totally not something I'm gonna bring up with my therapist as proof that I'm not allowed to rest /s) I've tried just about everything to get it working again, I got a replacement 3-in-1 cable and even that didn't do anything, so I've ordered in a new pen, but that's not due to show up for another week or two.

However, I do not want to wait a week or two on the off chance that a new pen even solves the problem.

So the GOOD NEWS in all this is that I do still have my iPad. It wasn't setup with Clip Studio Paint because I own a perpetual license for my PC, but seeing as how now I can't use it on my PC (at least not with my tablet pen) I've gone ahead and setup the mobile version on my tablet, thankfully I got a discount because I already own a perpetual license but it's still gonna cost me $10/month so that's yet another subscription to slap on the 'ole credit card.

Now that does mean I have to go through the painstaking efforts of moving everything from my PC onto my tablet, but thankfully that issue is easily solved with cloud backups and transferring. Really all I need to be able to do is draw, I can still do speech bubbles and text input and texture overlays and all that post-production stuff on my PC, but anything that requires actual drawing I'm gonna be using my iPad for. So please, don't mind if you notice some weird little art differences between Episode 30 and 29, I'm adjusting to a new workflow! It shouldn't be too bad because I'll still be using the exact same brushes and textures and all that fun stuff that I do on my PC, it just comes with the adjustment of drawing primarily on iPad, which I don't normally do (I usually only draw on my iPad for tattooing and that's in Procreate which I still suck at using outside of lineart LMAO)

This is a very stressful situation that I'm hoping will only be temporary until I get that new tablet pen, and if THAT doesn't solve the issue, then I'm gonna have to start shopping for a new tablet entirely, and that's not something I can do immediately because I'm already starting to struggle financially due to the slow season creeping in at work and I'm still paying off that new PC I put down on layaway (which I'm regretting already). All that said, if you want to help a pal out, please consider tossing a dollar or two at me on my Ko-Fi, it's all gonna go towards a new drawing tablet if I need it (and if the pen solves the issue, then you'll be helping me stay afloat so I can keep bringing you guys the good shit LOL)

What's wild is that in all my Google searching, I found a thread from two months ago with literally the EXACT same issue, under the exact same conditions, in which OP's tablet pen unexpectedly stopped registering with their Huion Kamvas 22 Plus that they had owned for two years. According to them, it did start working again, after resetting the PC and re-installing the driver over and over again, but I've already done that myself a ton of times and I'm tired of being let down and that doesn't seem like a "real" solution beyond luck, so I'm gonna take a break from doing that while I get my iPad set up. I have the sneaking suspicion this might have to do with some recent Windows updates that just rolled out, my PC had definitely gone through a couple leading up to the malfunction. This wouldn't be the first time Microsoft has fucked with my tablet functionality so I literally wouldn't be surprised if it was something like that. Either that, or the '2' in Kamvas 22 stands for "will only last for 2 years before stopping entirely" LOL

Anyways, that's all for now. Thank you all so much for your patience and understanding through all this. While I don't want to have to reduce the quality or frequency of what I put out for you guys due to technical issues, I also don't want the comic to stop entirely, so if this turns into one of those desperate situations where I'm delivering you guys episodes of Rekindled drawn on a Nintendo DS, so be it. I'm not gonna let this beat me.

[portraitofalinkonfyre]

Heya, house anon here again! I haven’t been around too much so I just seen your replies. I completely missed/ overlooked the request, I didn’t expect it to be done so quickly!! Personally, I didn’t go to collage, so this’ll be my first time moving. Anyway, I just read it, and I wanted to say IT’S PERFECT!! I love how you did his personality, truly everything I’ve ever hoped for in a fic. I was smiling the whole time, honestly kinda felt like a school girl giggling over her first crush lmao! It filled my sinking heart full of joy, and honestly makes me a bit more excited for this whole house experience. I don’t think it could’ve been done any better, truly, I sing you my praises!

Once all this mess is over, I’d love to save up some to commission you. I wouldn’t mind some more Dark content, especially smut someday.

Honestly, I think if this whole house thing wasn’t so un-planned then I wouldn’t AS stressed. It would still be stressful, with all the paperwork and everything involved, but since I just got my first full time job a month ago, I didn’t really have much saved up.

I had been looking around for a while and everything was either too expensive or needed a lot of work. When I seen this place, I knew I wouldn’t find anything else like it. It has a beautiful tavern-style living area that the previous owners made, which I haven’t decided if I want it Lord of the Rings themed or not. Plus, is has room for chickens :) - so I spontaneously went for it. I’m fortunate to have some help so I’m able to afford it, but I’ll definitely be doing some budgeting for the next few months until I’m in a comfortable place. I know it’s a place I can afford, but I just didn’t expect so much additional costs besides the down payment - closing, inspection, taxes, etc. So, that makes it all pretty tight for now, and I won’t have much furniture yet, but that doesn’t bother me, my couch and bed are all I need for now!

And thank you so so so much for your kind words! I love my cat so much, but she’s currently gonna be 11 this year, plus she’s a skittish little thing, so she wouldn’t do well in another place. It’ll just be hard not having her to sleep with and pet everyday. I’ll get to visit her on occasion though! I know my Dad will take good care of her.

Recently, I’ve been watching my favorite childhood show Bakugan, partially for nostalgia, and partially as a commemorative event to remember that I had my whole life where I’m at currently, and now I’ll be moving forward. It’s actually really been helping me get through the days. I tend to be sentimental.

I’m so so sorry this is really long, I kinda just started typing and just couldn’t stop! Thank you so much for everything, I’ll keep you updated after closing (if all goes well), I don’t wanna keep flooding you with all these long messages! But seriously, thank you again for hearing me out, and for the request. I can’t thank you enough, and you have no idea how happy it all makes me! I’ll definitely be re-reading it for a while, especially when I feel stressed over the house. You have a wonderful day/night, and take care of yourself too!

Hi, house anon!!! I'm super stoked that you loved the request, I wanted to make it as perfect as possible because I completely understand what you're going through. Also a LOTR-themed living room?!? SWOON. I'm a HUGE Tolkien fan (so much so that I wrote a 200+ page retelling of The Hobbit on google docs in high school), and that sounds like literal heaven.

And about your cat, you could try bringing something that reminds you of her to comfort you in her absence? I recently lost my ball python and I've been cuddling with a microwaveable alligator plushie because it smells like my old room (so basically her), so you could maybe try that if things get really tough? Just know that, in the end, you're doing the right thing for her <33

PLEASE keep me updated. If you ever need someone to vent to, you have my permission to flood my inbox or even DMs with whatever you want, I promise I'll read it all. Take care and stay strong, you wonderful person! <333

[icommitedcrimesasatoaster]

Welcome to my hell (I made for myself) (AU MASTER POST)

Welcome to my shitshow. This entire thing originated from a dream. Had a vision in the gacha artstyle about 6 people from different universes being stuck in jail and here we are.

The AU focuses on 5 characters

Cody: My guy. I love torturing him more then i should.

Marshall Commander of the GAR and the responsible adult. If you ignore him kicking droids..

Katara: Too young, you never realize a character is young until you put her in a room with slightly older people.

A proficient water bender with a track record of fighting and ending a war in like 5 months with a bald child, her brother, The greatest earth bender of all time™ and an angsty teenager.

Kanade Yoisaki: My friend has been making fun of me for that one LMAO

A musical composer in the group 25-ji, Nightcord de. who she is a lader off, her skills include somehow surviving off of nothing except ramen noodles, somehow having enough money to not go into an orphanage and just in general rolling all 1's and still surviving

Tommyinnit: YOU DIDN'T EXPECT THAT ONE DID YA????? (unless if you looked at the tags.)

Your average traumatized teenager who went trough hell and back AND death and back. He has seen it all. Also chaotic little bastard that will see you in the vents.

Technoblade: I love him <3 (ignore the dead people)

A man known throughout the lands he has stepped on ,leaving a bloody trail behind him. Every ruler who wants him dead either isn't here or is too scared to voice it. Also he is socially awkward 6'5ft man who says "You too" to a waiter

There will be a one shot fic soon , when ill post it ill update it so its on the top. But right now its not so eh

Because I had a lot of stress for the past month my brain pulled itself to this au like a magnet (And another one i may post about on a later date)

So enjoy now what I have gathered aka my collection of shitposts, images and charts.

THE CHARACTER RELATIONSHIPS (this may change, as i made it first)

Made by me

Tommy artist: IDK (please tell me)

Technoblade artist: I also don't knwo (im bad at tracking it)

The gang! (Aka me looking trough the "Draw your gang" tag.)

Full post here:

Chart! Can't get enough of them!

Post 1:

Post 2:

Incorrect quotes , MY FAVORITE! (kill me.)

Post:

MISCELLANEOUS (i had to google how to spell that one-)

art+ dagger.

...well-

thats basically how i describe this post-

you don't realize how far you brainrotted until you have 11 pages of wip that you basically haven't started, a massive file and countless messages to my victim (Ash I am so so sorry.)

..uh enjoy?

[deadwrites]

When will the next update for dusks edge be?

howdy anon,

I am going to assume you’re just excited but I do want to let you know that not even saying hello before poking about an update can come across as rude haha. But I get you’re probably just excited, which I’m glad to hear! 

My update schedule is messed up right now because my laptop decided to die on me, so I’m stuck typing on my phone/decade old ipad.

yeah that’s a lot of work lmao. As it is, this is what my goals are, but I’m A Person and Life Happens so if I miss deadlines or have to restructure, then I’m not stressing—take this table as a suggestion rather than a formal timeline, and if things get delayed I’ll mention it on tunglr (also since I’ve already had messages regarding missing updates: anyone reading this, please don’t bug me about missing an update! I have a life and so does my beta and it annoys the crap out of me lmao). 

That said, * means short chapters, X means the task has been completed. After I finish writing book I in April, I will either take a writing hiatus and only post updates, or start work on book II, depending on how I feel. I know after book II I WILL need to take a break to plan out book III, since I don’t have the beats for that one hammered out. 

But! To answer your question: chapter 13 comes out Friday and it is very short, then 14 comes out 1/10, but nobody’s getting answers to the cliffhanger until ch15 because I’m evil like that.

[lesbiandanhowell]

Sam (begrudgingly) reacts to: Dan and Phil play Poppy Playtime CHAPTER 2!

I fucking hate horror games and I am have a high anxiety day so this is like awful timing BUT HERE GOES NOTHING.

- Not a fan of the runtime because I don't enjoy horror so the longer the worse for me personally so fuck this actually oops

- Babes I am literally shaking and almost crying 4 minutes in this will not be fun lmao (but also I know my anxiety won't go away without dan and phil content so might as well hope they will be funny and cute enough to make me calm down).

- I hate this I want to cry UPDATE: I literally started crying right after this, about 8 minutes into the game, but it got better afterwards.

- The touch when saying 'we have to be brave' was very personal to me. (Someone give me someone to watch this with and hold me please because I am scared)

- The buttplug jokes being the only thing to make me laugh, thank you Phil. Dan what do you MEAN "tails in" in reference to buttplugs, did you see the unhinged shit we said on tumblr, because oh god please no.

- "What are we going to do now?" "Cry" Phil gets me actually thank you I feel seen.

- The color game is actually calming my anxiety SO much it's hilarious, like it's just logic and following patterns and those things are so calming even when Dan is screaming.

- "For our lesbian audience that has mommy issues this is gonna be a weird episode" YOU DONT SAY DAN YOU DONT SAY

- new lore alert: Phil going to a wrestling party

- Phil lore: he was afraid of the KFC man as a kid

- PINOF MENTION AND CLIP AHAHA, they love doing these references since they uploaded the first react video.

- Dan hiding in his hoodie is adorable, like he just fully went "nope!" and hid haha.

- I think you can see Phil's hand shaking in the whack a mole, like the camera was SO shakey which was either his inability to use a mouse or he was shaking, place your bets.

- Dan playing the mini game after all, Phil is never beating the younger brother stereotype truly.

- When did they film all of these that their heating is still broken?! Makes me think they really did pre-film most of these to have a less stressful time now during december, which good job guys!

- Mommy's voice reminds me of someone else in a tv show but I can't figure out what? Anyone know?

- Their delighted faces at seeing jacksepticeye are adorable, like you could tell they were so happy truly and I love these little easter eggs!

- "Sean you down there?" HOWLING

- They edited so many clips and memes into this (which makes me think they edited it rather than an editor) haha

- Phil just, maybe unconsciously, moving impossibly closer to Dan is a big mood (only I am alone rip).

- Weirdly enough the mini games are the most calming part for me, like there is a clear focus and clear objective of what to do and it's like: here is a problem, solve it and I think that does wonders for me.

- Unsure if I am shaking from anxiety or being cold (also great I have more uni work to do after watching this)

- Yes please sanitize my boobs. What

- I agree Phil, we have gotten a lot of lore (about you)!

- Phil's panicked "geese!" gets me every time because it's so cute.

- "I feel kinda bad" aw ofc you do Phil and ofc you don't Dan, so very in character for both of them honestly.

- "Sometime in 2023, so not much longer" Phil, honey, there are like 20 days left what do you mean?!

This actually wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be, after I had my little cry at the beginning. I was actually quite calm by the end and I think my anxiety actually is less, which I didn't think would happen. The magic of Dan and Phil, see you tomorrow!

[wetcatspellcaster]

So I have finally completed my first (of I’m sure to be many) complete rereads of Pieces now that it’s completed!! What a difference it is actually to read all the way through vs reading as it updates. I truly felt like I was in fight or flight whenever you released a chapter and read it with a resting heart rate of 92837383833 beats a minute. This read was much less stressful but I still caught myself holding my breath at some parts. The story is so amazing, it may be one of my favorite stories overall, not just one of my favorite fics! You are so talented I honestly don’t know how you are so funny one minute then making feel like I’m going to cry in another. I think my favorite funny line is Rose scandalized at Astarion not eating the muffins, it lives in my mind rent free. I’m so happy we still have An Honest Lie because I am now parasocially too invested in you and your updates for all of them to be gone 😅

I have rambled a lot now but I made a tumblr specifically to follow you and a handful of other writers because I loved getting to see WIP snippets and behind the scenes talk of stuff you all work on. Your posts about how appreciated comments are is the reason why I comment on all the fics I am reading, was always too anxious to do so beforehand. I had a baby in November so these fics have been with me while being awake at all hours of the night and kept me sane knowing I had something to look forward to reading while feeding the baby. I feel like they’ve been through the trenches with me and I will always be thankful for the work you do to give such amazing stories!!

PS one last thing I was never a big Hozier person but I finally listened to Unknown and I am VERY EMOTIONAL NOW 🥲

hey darling! thank you for messaging!!!

Unknown/Nth gets us all, eventually :') what a song! I had to write a whole fic about it and everything.

I'm really glad that you enjoyed Pieces on a reread. from my experience of posting with the full fic outline in mind versus the comments I was getting... I can definitely imagine the two experiences being very different!! Definitely easier to go certain places (and end chapters on certain cliffhangers lmao) when the end is in sight. I love seeing stories as serialised narratives versus complete wholes... one of the reasons I'm such a sucker for fanfic! I'm glad it still holds up as a story and I'm really pleased that you like it.

(Also, thank you for the comment about the muffins. It was just a silly bit but... Oscar Wilde would be so proud.)

And just generally, thank you! I often write myself through and out of tricky times in my own life, and it feels strange to know that someone else is going through much bigger changes than me (a baby! you absolute superstar!) and my writing is doing something similar for them that it is for me :) either providing comfort or just a way to relax or have a silly moment to themselves! anyway, I hope you know comments like these are literally the fuel that keep writers writing, and while we are not entitled to them and you are not obliged to give them, it is literally taking the time for messages like this that have convinced me that this is actually something I'm good at and that it is worth my time! I have a silly goldfish memory when it comes to my own talents, I can convince myself my writing sucks in 2hrs or less, and so I am unfortunately doomed to forever need positive reinforcement... and the thing is, I think most writers are the same!

so thank you!! you clearly have a busy life rn, and so spending any of your time talking to me is a massive compliment that I do not take for granted. readers and commenters are a vital part of this little eco-system and so thank you for sharing my writing with me :) you're probably one of the main reasons it happened at all :) xx

[katapotato55]

I like New horizons but also I hate new horizons something something dead horse.

I do not expect this post to get a lot of attention lmao. I love a lot of new horizons and i have been playing since day 1 of the game. But i have issues you see. Every time i play this game i get burnt out VERY fast, and i don't know why. I try to relax, not min/max the game, just chill and vibe and not overdo it. So how am I getting burnt out??? I think i know why :

The game is too tedious but not enough reward for that tedium, not only that but its TOO random so there is no use in effort

let me explain. 1- you want to decorate your island for the fall season. 2- it takes forever to GET fall materials because its all RANDOM and you can ONLY get this shit from balloons and villagers. you have to roll a dice if you get the item you want. 3- once you finally get enough materials to decorate your island, it takes FOREVER to terraform everything, get stuff placed to look good, etc. 4- whoops! its winter now time to rip everything up and start over!

there is nothing ENGAGING about collecting the entire collection of furniture in this game. Either i get to waste my time sitting around hoping the DIY recipes appear-ify itself into existence like its Homestuck act 3, Or Nookazon which isn't a part of the game.

"but Kat! " you may yell for some reason "its animal crossing! you are supposed to chill! " with all due respect nonbinary strawman i came up with on the fly, what IS there to do in new horizons other than decorate ? The villagers don't appreciate your decorations or sit in chairs, their dialogue is horribly repetitive, and all the interactions you have with them are just copied over from new leaf. the core game play loop of new horizons is get on, do chores, collect materials and decorate. there is nothing wrong with that, but the problem lies with the fact that you have no way to influence the items you pick up, and its tedious to ACTUALLY decorate. Its not relaxing its a chore. this brings me to my second problem:

The game mistakes tedium for challenge.

WHY couldn't Isabelle just TELL me Gulliver is here? (before the update) that would be too easy apparently. Instead of just telling me he is here, I have to be stressed running around my island EVERY DAY to find out who is here today and who isn't here today. its not a challenge its just MORE time wasting. of course I can't just put time into working towards the Space themed furniture or put some amount of effort into it to EARN the furniture I need to cheese fucking metonook and spend literal months hoping Celeste RANDOMLY gives me furniture rather than me getting the satisfaction of earning the furniture. its not a challenge, Its not a relaxing pass time. Its tedious. Same goes for terraforming and everything else. This game is trying to convey the vibe of growing a bonsai tree where you slowly trim the tree over time to make a beautiful shape. what it REALLY conveys is raising an aggressive toddler that randomly does stuff and then you need to go through the effort to get the little creature dressed in decent clothes every day. I love this game. the update improved the game. But if there is anything I want from future animal crossing games: FOCUS LESS ON CUSTOMIZATION. I don't want to spend 500 hours on something i will just tear up eventually and no one will appreciate. I am so so tired of being the mayor. please just let me be some random weirdo again Nintendo. Please let villagers be mean again and let me do more than give them crap and design their houses.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Hello naughty children do you want an

update

I should stress, we are not currently in the grip of a specific major scandal. This isn't like the fall of Truss, or even Partygate. And yet. Nevertheless. Even so. Regardless.

There's this thing in Pikmin games where you can crack eggs to get nectar to bloom your pikmin, but just occasionally, the egg contains spiders. These spiders do not hurt the pikmin, but they freak them out, and then you have 100 pikmin running around and screaming and panicking and you have to summon them all back to you by blowing your whistle until they calm down.

I wonder what's made me think of that?

So! All that was on Monday the 13th. Let's see what came next!

Tuesday 14th November, 2023

4.32pm

Yesterday, Cruella Braverman was fired over the phone, of course – as mentioned, this is probably a clever political move because normally there would be a Letter Exchange that would be publicly viewable and so we'd get to see all the snide playground bitching writ large into formal writing. Did you think "per my last email" can be an open declaration of hostilities? My sweet summer child. You should see "firing a cabinet member" letters. Yikes.

But alas. We are denied such a thing. Important, since this is obviously a difficult and delicate time for the Tories, and it is imperative that they maintain a straight and professional facade, and for that reason Rishi Sunak has carefully kept it to a phonecall and Suella deVille has maintained a dignified silence.

...

...

...

LMAO did I get you?! Did I have you going?? YOUR FACE HAHA you are PRANKED no obviously Braverman decided to write her own letter and publish it in a national newspaper lol rofl lmao

And it’s two whole pages long

Key points!

Braverman reveals that she and Sunak struck a deal when she supported him to become Prime Minister. 

Sure, we’d all assumed as much.  But she claims there was a document outlining the terms of the deal!  A written document!! THEY LEFT A PAPER TRAIL!!!

(I cannot stress enough how dumb he was if he did indeed commit in writing to the demands of a mad harpy like Braverman)

AND ON TOP OF THAT she claims that Sunak has failed to deliver on any of the promises in the document, either because he couldn’t, or because he never intended to keep them! Shocking! Would you like an example? Yes, I thought you might.

Sunak supposedly promised to recommit to Boris Johnson’s target in reducing legal migration. 

But! Sky News interviewed Sunak about this at the time, and Sunak resolutely did NOT commit to this target.  So it’s a Very Big Deal if there’s a document proving that this was a broken promise.  Those on the right of the party won’t be pleased if that’s the case.

Dear dear. Poor Rishi. What a pickle.

Let's hope the issue of migration doesn't come back to bite him!

5.54pm. Still only Tuesday.

Now, previously, Labour was in a tricky position, you remember?  I'll recap.

The SNP (who, as a reminder, do not have enough seats in Westminster to affect change by themselves) were to lead a vote on supporting a ceasefire in Gaza.  This is actually a vote that couldn’t possibly win - the Tories wouldn’t support it, they love sucking off Israel’s populist right-wing Prime Minister sloppy style - but crucially, it forces Labour to pick a position.  Officially, Labour don’t support a ceasefire either.  BUT! A lot of individual Labour MPs do support a ceasefire, including frontbenchers.

So what do you do if you’re Keir Starmer?  Fire any MPs who vote for the SNP’s plan?  You’ll lose a lot of good people from your party that way, and right now, the next general election is in the bag - but only because of the Tories and their own idiocy. Plenty of time for you to fuck that up.

But here, a fascinating development.  Labour will propose their own amendment on Israel-Gaza, calling for “an urgent pause in violence” to buy time for aid, hostages, and peace processes.

Does that sound like a ceasefire? Sounds kind of like a ceasefire to me. But Labour insist it’s not.

It’s not as strong as the SNP’s, but it’s actually the strongest position Labour’s taken on this issue, and I shall begrudgingly acknowledge that it's more likely to be accepted (including by Israel).  I mean, it's slimy politics for sure, but it may be more effective. Starmer suggests it and hopes it wins over frontbenchers.  This WILL be whipped, however – MPs who don’t back this motion will be fired.

7.22pm. Against all odds, still the same Tuesday.

Jon Craig of Sky News reports a claim that 20 MPs met after Braverman’s sacking, with the source saying: “It’s fair to say the group was far from pleased.”  This is backed up by a leak of WhatsApp group screenshots showing universal calls for everyone to send in letters of no confidence in Sunak, and demand a leadership contest again.

But only Andrea Jenkyns does, and is left hanging.

Lol.

Wednesday, 15 November

Buckle in, lads

So today is the day of the Gaza not-a-ceasefire vote, and also the UK Supreme Court deciding if the government can deport refugees to Rwanda. Big day for Rishi! Let's see how it goes!

7.08am

Economics news! Inflation falls to two-year low!  This was one of Rishi Sunak’s five pledges, so he’s managed to keep one! We're so proud of him. That is Growth.

Except critics point out this was extremely likely to happen anyway regardless of government action, so it was a cynical pledge from the start.

10.21am

The UK Supreme Court rules the government’s Rwanda plan unlawful.  Oh dear.  Humanity’s gain is Rishi Sunak’s loss – “stop the boats” was another of Sunak’s five pledges.

Let’s talk about the scheme!  The proposal was to send asylum seekers arriving in the UK to Rwanda – it was nakedly and openly intended as a deterrent to stop asylum seekers from wanting to come to the UK. A great many activists in Rwanda, never mind the UK, have been Extremely Against this on human rights grounds.

The planes to deport the vulnerable refugees were ready to leave last year, when a European judge halted the flight last minute.  DRAMA! But Brexit, cry the lunatics! Well, Leave may mean Leave, but the European Convention on Human Rights (ECHR) is still a thing that exists.  You can’t leave the convention this side of a General Election (though if you'll allow a moment of conjecture, Tumblrs: it may become an election issue now).

On Wednesday the 15th, the UK Supreme Court have finally deemed the plan unlawful – Rwanda’s human rights record isn’t good enough.  Not even just for the ECHR, but other treaties as well, so that's that lol.

This is a VERY BIG LOSS for the government.  And a big win for people who don’t want asylum seekers to be banished to whatever random country the Tories fancy sending them.

Still. Could be worse. At least it was only the one letter of no confidence, from gullible Andrea Jenkyns.

11.10am

Andrea Jenkyns, the only one who went to the party in fancy dress, claims that six more Tory MPs are ready to submit letters of no confidence.

(popcorn intensifies)

11.14am

Lee Anderson, Tory MP for Ashleigh and Deputy Chairman of the party, says ministers should “put planes in the air” to Rwanda anyway.  The government should “ignore the laws and send them straight back”.

Sunak meanwhile officially tweets that it's appalling that Europe gets to tell us what to do, because he has forgotten which Court just made the ruling.

11.41am

A storm is brewing.

Every Christmas in the UK, the sitting monarch delivers a speech to the nation. Well; not live, obviously. They film it in advance and hope nothing changes. But it airs on Christmas day, and old people like to put it on and watch it, and then everyone has to watch some cunt in a stupid hat that costs more than their house sit on a golden throne that could fund mental health services in their city for five years and tell us all that we're all in it together, and in this way, the sitting monarch gets to be Close To The People.

Except they don't write it. The government does. This is openly how it works. Inexplicably, royalists still believe they're hearing the words of the monarch themselves.

So! We're caught up. Why did I mention it? Well, it's Speech Recording Time atm, and let's take another look at Rishi's pledges.

The government promised to ban conversion therapy. Yes, that conversion therapy. The one for torturing queer people. It's still lgal in the UK. That would be great, if they ban it! And Rishi promised! 

But they didn’t include it in the King’s Speech.

So Labour MPs, sensing blood in the water, propose an after-the-fact amendment – hey, Tories, let’s include the thing you promised you’d do!

...

This is a massive deal. This is a massive deal.  Sunak will not want this vote.  Not because he's unduly queerphobic (I mean beyond baseline Tory levels), but remember, this is a schisming party and he's got one foot on the right bank and one on the right-of-centre bank and his penis and two testicles are currently dunked in the icy waters of the Atlantic. He’s losing the support of the Tory right, who are absolute cartoon villains, so banning conversion therapy doesn’t seem ideal to him right now.  But – the party did promise they’d do it.

So what can the Tory whips do? 

Well.  They tell MPs they’ll lose the whip (i.e. expelled from the Tory party) unless they vote against this amendment.  And because it’s the King’s Speech, they’ll also lose the whip if they abstain.

Which means: Tory MPs who want to remain Tories must vote against banning conversion therapy in the King’s Speech amendment.

Liberal Tory MPs are FUMING about this.  And this includes one very senior MP.

11.43am

Around 80 Tory MPs would back leaving the ECHR.  A treaty the Supreme Court made explicitly clear was not the only reason the Rwanda plan is unlawful.

However this is not the first time they've wanted to repeal the Human Rights Act, and I should stress, that the first person to spearhead abandoning human rights was, in fact, Theresa May, before she even became PM. Tories be Torying

12.02pm

Sunak does some thinking and some drawing and some more thinking and now he has a plan!

Change the Rwanda treaty to address concerns;

Pass emergency legislation overriding the court ruling if necessary.

He doesn’t say anything about ECHR.  He probably wants it to sound like he intends to leave the ECHR without actually saying it.  Keep the anti-human rights clowns on side without committing.

Let's see how this works out.

12.40pm

Hey, remember James Cleverly? Newly-minted Home Secretary as of the reshuffle two days ago?

James Cleverly wants to upgrade the Rwanda deal to a treaty, with an agreement that those who are sent to Rwanda can’t be sent onto a different county.  Cleverly reckons that would make the plan lawful.

Whether that’s true or not, it means starting the whole process again, and the process is long.  The big news is – this plan is now extremely unlikely to happen before the next General Election.

Now what's INTERESTING here is that it’s clear from Cleverly’s statement that he doesn’t consider it an option to leave the ECHR.  Unlike Sunak, he’s not ambiguous about this.  Cleverly is on record as supporting ECHR.  That Cabinet reshuffle on Monday?  With a few exceptions, it’s actually the least insane clowns in government right now.

The problem:

This will REALLY annoy the right of the party.  The 80ish Tory MPs mentioned earlier will not be happy that Cleverly’s cheerfully ignoring their desires to leave the ECHR, bring back fox hunting, undecimalise currency, free pig’s-head sex toys for those in the highest tax brackets etc.

12.48pm

Tory whips WILL now allow MPs to abstain on the King’s Speech conversion therapy amendment!  A win for liberal Tories – this took HEAVY lobbying of the whips and of Sunak himself to get them to agree.

12.57pm

Nostalgic Thatcher-tribute PM Theresa May points out to James Cleverly that repealing ECHR wouldn’t satisfy the courts anyway. 

Cleverly says yes, Theresa, I'm aware, and I’m not doing that anyway, I’m pursuing a change of treaty to make it lawful.

There are sadly no photos of May's shocked Pikachu face, so let's all take a moment to imagine it

1.16pm

Labour’s amendment on the conversion therapy amendment isn’t selected, so after all that excitement, there won’t be a vote on it anyway. 

This is normal – last-minute amendments aren’t always selected for debate.  But hey, it was fun to see the Tories run around like headless chickens for a while. :)

4.09pm

Caroline Wheeler of the Sunday Times reports that, according to a home office source, Cleverly’s proposed deport-refugees-to-Rwanda treaty would still be blocked by the courts.  Is the source wrong?  Or is the government simply playing for time? DRAMA

4.46pm

Rishi Sunak heroically declares the planes will fly by Spring.  This is very optimistic.  Getting the legislation through the Lords alone will take longer than that, surely?!  And then it’ll be stuck in the courts again.

6.48pm

Ah, but the Gaza ceasefire vote has yet to be called...

Three Labour frontbenchers signal they’ll vote for the SNP’s ceasefire motion: Helen Hayes, Afzal Khan, Naz Shah.  They will have to resign or be sacked.

6.53pm

Shadow Minister Yasmin Qureshi resigns.  This is so she can vote for the ceasefire. 

Just in case you thought politics wouldn’t be like this once Labour comes into power.

7.05pm

Shadow Minister Afzal Khan resigns to vote for the ceasefire.

7.30pm

The results are in!  Do you back SNP’s call for a ceasefire?

Yes: 125

No: 293 

...

Now, listen, it was never going to win, but politically speaking...

That’s a fucking BIG number for an SNP amendment.  They only have 43 MPs. 

This suggests, in spite of the whip, a lot of Labour MPs voted for it.

7.43pm

Shadow Minister Naz Shah resigns.

The numbers are coming in – at least 8 Labour frontbencher and one PPS voted for the ceasefire and will have to resign or be sacked.

Shadow Minister Jess Phillips resigns.

7.47pm

Confirmed – 56 of those who voted for the ceasefire (45% of the vote) were rebel Labour MPs.

7.59pm

Meanwhile, remember that Cabinet reshuffle? David Cameron is back! And he's Foreign Secretary.

So! First assignment! He meets with Volodymyr Zelenskyy. 

I need to stress that I am paraphrasing here, Tumblrs. I need to stress that these are not the actual words of Lord Piggledick, Foreign Secretary of the UK Government and former PM. I need to really spread it on thick that this is not an actual quote.

But this IS the spirit of what he says, and this is 100% the message he conveys.

David Hameron tells Volodymyr Zelenskyy “Boris Johnson’s a fucking idiot who can’t tie his shoes without finding a new wife to do it for him, but it IS good that he supported Ukraine”.

8.00pm

NO I'M NOT OVER THAT WHY DID HE SAY THAT HE COULD HAVE JUST LEFT IT AT "IT'S GOOD BJ SUPPORTED UKRAINE" WTF

10.51pm

Labour’s not-a-ceasefire Israel-Gaza amendment is revealed in detail. Key points!:

humanitarian pause in hostilities between Israel and Hamas;

Israel to protect hospitals and lift siege conditions;

cessation of violence asap;

two state solution.

But no call for a ceasefire.

Thursday, 16 November

8.30am

I wonder what former Supreme Court judge Lord Sumption thinks about Rishi Sunak’s brilliant new plan to stick to the Rwanda scheme?

“I have never heard of them trying to change the facts, by law.”

Oh dear.  Sumption reckons this act of parliament will be “profoundly discreditable”, “for as long as black isn’t white”.

So that's a good start. Hope no other Tories declare we should ignore the laws of the land!

9.01am

The Tories’ voting share hits its lowest point since the end of Liz Truss – and is otherwise the lowest since the 2019 election.

If you're not in the UK, I really must stress just how unpopular Truss was at the end of her reign.

10.30am

Tory Civil War Watch 2023:

In this morning’s Telegraph, Suella Braverman outlines five “tests” Sunak must pass in order to get the Rwanda plan through.  The second test is to ignore treaties and legislation.

Do you all remember Former Deputy Prime Minister Damian Green, Tumblrs? Now he's the lad who was involved in a grubby sex scandal under BJ because he used his House of Commons computer to look up tractor porn, and also was so objectionable even to other Tories that he was once thrown in a river by Dominic Raab. Imagine how strange it feels for him to step into the white shoes in this tale.

He tweets:

“The second test is the most unconservative statement I have ever heard from a Conservative politician. Giving the state the explicit power to override every legal constraint is what Putin and Xi do.”

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is a current Tory MP explicitly criticising another current Tory MP.

Sky News’s Beth Rigby points out that, hey, loud noises from the right of the party is business as usual for the Tories.  But it’s VERY unusual for the One Nation wing to be publicly arguing too.  They prefer to do things behind closed doors.

Says Rigby: “So the civil war is on, and very public”

I have put on my SICKOS top and I am staring through the window with glee.

Let's skip ahead to:

Monday, 20 November

Background! The Autumn Statement is imminent: that's an update from the government on their economic plans. You'll all recall, of course, that the UK is undergoing a cost of living crisis with the most expensive energy bills of anywhere in the world right now, which was made immeasurably worse by Truss and Kwarteng and their stupid fucking mini-budget, so there's a lot of scrutiny surrounding it.

11.47am

Rishi Sunak promises to cut taxes.  He’s been under huge pressure to do this in the Autumn Statement.  It sounded like he wasn’t going to cut taxes until Spring, but that’s now changed for some reason...

Tuesday, 21 November

7.39pm

Sunak claims the Autumn Statement tax cuts were meant to come next Spring, but a better economic outlook brought them forward. 

Basically, he is finding an excuse to remind people that inflation fell.  Even though that was basically inevitable, and nothing to do with the government; currently this is the only pledge he's actually stuck to, so it's being printed out and laminated and pinned to the nation's fridge.

The tax cuts themselves are probably to win votes at the next election.

Wednesday, 22 November

Always kicks off on Wednesdays, doesn't it?

7.44am

Israel's government agrees to back a deal with Hamas, releasing some hostages in Gaza, and a four-day pause in the fighting.  Not a ceasefire, but a pause in the fighting.

In the UK government, when debating on what we should push for, this was Labour's suggestion. The Tories voted against this, like a cartoon bully's sidekick trying to say what they think the bully wants to hear.

And now Israel is doing it anyway. How humiliating.

9.17am

It’s Autumn Statement day! 

What do we know?  We’re expecting cuts to tax for businesses and individuals, and cuts to national insurance.

In the last four years, taxes have increased to a 70-year high (though of course, the richest can get away without paying).  Labour decide to capitalise on the success of their recent dank meme and release this:

So! These are going to be the Labour talking points, methinks

9.21am

Torsten Bell is the CEO of a left-wing think tank, and tweets:

12.04pm

Beth Rigby of Sky News reports whispers from the government: “People more than three times more likely to be written off work today than they were a decade ago. But work has never been more flexible & therefore provided opportunities for people to work in a way that works for them”

YES THAT'S RIGHT KIDS, WORK IS SUPER FLEXIBLE SO IF YOU GET WRITTEN OFF WORK IT MUST BE BECAUSE YOU'RE A FECKLESS AND LAZY LEECH

It's almost a relief when they openly criticise the disabled and poor, mind, far too many people really do fall for it every time the Tories say "We're the compassionate party" while shooting a benefit claimant.

And hey, SINCE WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT, I wonder why people are so much more likely to be written off work nowadays?

The Mirror’s Ashley Cowburn reckons it might be this:

Oh, yeah.  Remind me what party was in charge for the last decade?

12.12pm

A Tory MP – on the right of the party! – is worried about this approach.  Hurting benefit claimants so near an election could make the Tories look like the “nasty party”.

It's amazing how sometimes, you could almost swear they were becoming self-aware.

12.37pm

Autumn Statement begins!

And I’m not covering it.  It’s long and detailed and I'm too busy and important and hot. I've got Pikmin 4 to play, and I've nearly got the blue onion.

Great analysis here, though

Before you click! Fun game! See if you can guess whether or not Jeremy Cunt has produced a brilliant Autumn Statement :)

Anyway the main takeaway is that it’s aimed at voters.  Nurses, police officers, plumbers, delivery drivers, the self employed, pensioners.  Hunt’s hoping voters will feel the difference before the next election.

1.02pm

So much fun! But of course, we can't let the super exciting Autumn Statement take up all our focus, let’s see what’s happening in the Commons.

Alex Cunningham MP (Labour): Why are 34% of children in my constituency living in poverty?

Another MP: Because it’s a shithole.

!!!!!!!

Now, I will admit, this made me laugh out loud.  HOWEVER!  That is unacceptable for an MP to say.  Like, a sackable offense. That's straight-up appalling. Presumably, though, it's one of the Known Nutters or some anonymous backbencher; Rishi has put his Most Competent Clowns into the Cabinet so it can't be them, god, can you imagine if it was -

3.19pm

HOME SECRETARY JAMES CLEVERLY IS REVEALED AS THE MP WHO CALLED A UK CONSTITUENCY A SHITHOLE AND BLAMED THEM FOR THEIR OWN POVERTY

In the Commons, Labour MP Alex Cunningham demands an apology. He contacted Cleverly’s office in advance so Cleverly would know he’d be named.  Nonetheless, Cleverly chooses not to be present.

What a great second week in the job for Cleverly, eh?

9.48pm

Robert Peston tweets alarming news about the government’s tax changes.

10.13pm

A senior government source informs Sky News’s Beth Rigby that the Tory Party has been told to be ready for a election from 1 Jan 2024!!

This is absolutely shocking news.  HUUUUGE if true.

(Btw that is the best bit of Mario Galaxy 2, and Steff and I had to SCOUR the internet to find that screenshot. In the end he watched a Let's Play to make it himself. This screenshot is unique. You're all welcome.)

ANYWAY THIS IS NOTABLE because fuck me six ways from Sunday but this would be the stupidest possible move by Sunak.  Winter elections are bad anyway (everyone is miserable and poor and busy and campaigning is harder and the voters are less inclined to be generous to a sitting party) – but let's be real here, Tumblrs, the Tories ought to wait and hope something - ANYTHING - happens to improve their odds.  Given that it’s nearly impossible for their odds to worsen. Like. They should be looking for four-leaved clovers and throwing pennies into wells and building lil shrines to gods and getting their CVs in order just in case. Fuck. What a stupid idea.

They must be hoping Hunt’s Autumn Statement will give them the boost they need.  Surely that’s impossible?!  Surely they won’t actually go ahead with a winter election???!  Even a May election seems highly unlikely.  You don’t call an election when you’re so behind in the polls.

10.48pm

Okay, update from a Tory source – sounds like they’ll only go early to GE if the Autumn Statement lands hard and well.  Prepare for November 2024, but be ready in May 2024 just in case the Autumn Statement makes people love the Tories so damn much that we all make Christmas tree ornaments with their faces on and put a Rishi angel on top of the tree.

(Take a wild fucken guess...)

Fun conspiracy theory, though!

If rebel Tories try and take down Sunak, he could trigger an election in May!  This could be the equivalent of loading a gun while maintaining eye contact with your frenemy.

Thursday, 23 November

Doctor Who is 60 years old today.

8.57am

Not politics, but this made me laugh:

9.02am

Labour Together’s Director of Research tweets:

10.05am

From the Resolution Foundation think tank:

That graph... is astonishing to me. That is showing household disposable income since the Eden-to-Macmillan years - if you don't know your former UK PMs, that's the 1950s. In every single government since, regardless of party, household disposable income grew. Sometimes a little, sometimes a lot, but it always grew.

In the Year of the Three Emperors, i.e. 2022, last year, household disposable income in the UK FELL BY 3.1%.

Last time that happened there was a fucking war on.

Still! At least the Tories have appeased the racists by reducing the numbers of net migration.

10.06am

The Office for National Statistics is set to announce that net migration to the UK in the year to December 2022 has been revised up to 745,000.

A new record!  Way higher than previously thought! Bet that's going to go down well!

It's fine, btw.  We have a shortage of workers, we can do with more immigration.  For what it’s worth, only 35,000 of these are made up of Ukrainian refugees, and only around 6% of the overall number were those who came in small boats (though it’s probable the actual number is higher there, since these are only officially recorded numbers).  Either way, who cares?

Well, here’s someone who’ll care!

So let’s say, hypothetically, you’re the Prime Minister of this country, right, and two weeks ago fired your racist Home Secretary who was rabid about reducing migration, right, and then two days later suffered a defeat in your anti-immigration policy.  Are you with me? So let’s say, for the sake of argument, you’re facing a civil war in your party caused by the right-wing side thinking you’re weak on immigration, right.  And THEN let’s imagine you’re twenty points behind in the polls, which is an absolutely staggering number, and also that you vowed to bring the number of net migration down below 500k – and THAT was already twice as high as your populist buffoon predecessor’s target.

Right? Are you imagining that, Tumblrs?

Maybe under those circumstances... you’d care a little. 

3.11pm

After a 24-hour delay, it’s confirmed that the Israel-Gaza ceasefire will begin at 7am local time tomorrow.

Friday, 24 November

1.21am

The Tories fall by 1 point in the polls.  They’re at 21% now.  This is, to put it mildly, not what they hoped to happen after the Autumn Statement.

12.30pm

HEY WE'VE NOT HEARD FROM NADINE DORRIES FOR A WHILE

Now you will DEFINITELY remember her from previous instalments, she's the mad pink moth who is D E S P E R A T E to give Boris Johnson a BJ worthy of his initials and if you wrote a character based on her your editor and readers would view her as unrealistic and cartoonish. Her most notable ability is being so obnoxious that other Tories remove her from WhatsApp groups (although to my knowledge Dominic Raab has not chucked her in a river). Anyway, she's no longer an MP because she used her last move in power to trigger a by-election in her constituency because she was throwing a tantrum about not being made a Lord.

But she IS trying to write and sell a book.

So in this book, she has claimed that, as culture secretary (pause for laughs), she recommended Michael Grade for some high up role in the BBC. Here is the problem with that:

She did not. As I mentioned at the start of this instalment, these letters are all public record. She recommended Steven Gilbert, who promptly lost out to Michael Grade.

OH NO. She has been caught LYING!! About something COMPLETELY INCONSEQUENTIAL!!! How to deal with this??? Well, not to worry - Nadine learned all about how to get out of these situations from Big Dog himself, so she knows the procedure. You keep lying and claim another government minister doctored your letter to frame you.

Except, of course, the problem with this, which Nadine knows very well... is that you cannot, under any circumstances, actually name someone who did this. Because if you do, that is actionable. That is slander. That will land you in court.

So she must be very, very careful when giving her interviews and making this claim.

Let's see how she does:

... oh dear, Nadine

1.45pm

After the success of Labour's dank memes, the Tories realise they need to appeal to the Youth:

I mean this. They genuinely launched a "Blue Friday Sale" initiative. It features merchandise of PMs of the recent past.

Except Truss.

However, an excellent counterpoint raised by journalist John Elledge:

Soberingly true, John.

3.33pm

People spent today enjoying footage of Rishi Sunak failing to use a hammer, and now you can too.

But – oh no, he was TOLD to use it that way! I’m sure the Tories’ rivals are extremely sorry to see Sunak misrepresented in this way, when Sunak’s own party has always been extremely fair in representing their own rivals.

8.08pm - section written by Steffan

Jordan and Henry of Big Brother 20 are interviewed, and reveal they’re no longer describe their relationship as “platonic”.

Henry: I’ve even heard that there’s a fanfiction, which I will not be reading.

Jordan: Well, I will be.

Wait, sorry.  What was I talking about?  Oh, yeah.

8.33pm

And we finish the day with Tory bumrag the Telegraph reporting that David Cameron, a staunch remainer who still really regrets calling that vote, says the UK needs closer ties with the EU.

Tory MPs on the right took this with good grace and humour, and respected Cameron’s right to a different opinion from their own.

I assume so, anyway.  Steff's muted them all on Twitter so can’t be sure.

Clownfall: Endgame

I am calling it that in the full knowledge that batshit things may yet happen, but listen. Listen. We have a year left before the general election. I am hedging my bets and assuming all that comes in that year will be Tory manoeuvring ahead of that. Let's all hope for a nice quiet year in which everything can fall neatly under that banner, that won't ruin this naming convention.

Previous Reading

Important Terminology - Required Reading

What is a Whip?

How do Whips work?

Shadow Cabinet

Front Benchers, Back Benchers and the Cabinet

What do we need to call an early General Election?

The Adventures of Big Dog the Clown - Suggested Reading

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Elanor’s Guide to Liz Truss - Suggested Reading

Character-based prequel

The Premiership of Liz Truss

The Next Steps - Suggested Reading

The post-Truss contenders

Bye Matt

BoJo Resigns as MP

Alright, that's probably everything. Just nice to have it all in one place, innit? If you would like a nice soothing soundtrack to your reading, here's my recommendation. On with the show!

Clownfall: Endgame

Wednesday

So, let's start with charismatic and charming Home Secretary Suella Braverman! You may remember her from such hits as "Quitting before she could be fired after breaking the law only to be rehired by Sunak almost immediately and without consequence to appease the right wing nutjobs in the party", and "Claiming Pakistani men have a culture that makes them work in abuse rings to target vulnerable white English girls" (I should add that, if you are unfamiliar with Suella Braverman, regardless of what that quote implies, she is not, in fact, white); recently she made the news because she announced that being homeless is a "lifestyle choice". So true, Suella! They could give it up any time they wanted. They could, for example, get together and break in and steal your fucking house.

But in particular, here we're focussing on her recent stance towards the multiple huge pro-Palestine marches that have been taking place in London. So far she has indicated that she wants people who wave Palestinian flags to be arrested, so that's very measured and rational of her; but, last Wednesday (Nov 8th), she decided to write a lil opinion piece in the Times all about how mean and biased and liberal the police are. This is an absolutely fascinating assertion to I suspect literally anyone who has ever been involved with the police. But no! Quoth Suella, aggressive right-wing protesters are "rightly met with a stern response", while "pro-Palestinian mobs" are "largely ignored".

And, she claims, the march on Saturday isn’t simply a cry for help for Gaza, but an "assertion of primacy by certain groups - particularly Islamists - of the kind we are more used to seeing in Northern Ireland".

Imagine how well all that went down.

Thursday

You are underestimating how that went down, because it emerges that Suella deVille did not, in fact, get any form of validated sign-off or permission from Number 10 before squirting her ill-informed liquid horseshit all over the front desk of the Times news room, and that, Tumblrs, you'll be surprised to learn, is actually quite an important and compulsory part of criticising the police when you are the Home Secretary. Like, there is a Ministerial Code about this. It is very clear. It is in Article 8.2, Tumblrs. Thou Shalt Have Permission From Number 10 Before Making Media Interventions.

“The content was not agreed with Number 10,” a spokesperson for Prime Minister Rishi Sunak told reporters, referring to the prime minister’s Downing Street office. The ministerial code is clear that any ministerial media interventions need approval from No 10.

-AlJazeera

And the Tories are furious! The bloodbath forms quickly and loudly and the hounds start baying! Clown noses are flying everywhere! The factions are drawn! Because even now, there are Tories too stupid to understand that whether you agree with someone or not they still have to follow the rules! Also the other parties realise they can offer some actual opposition here, given that Suella has essentially dragged a barrel into the middle of the House of Commons dressed in a fish costume, handed around a set of loaded rifles, and then crawled inside to wait. The result is that the calls for her resignation are both deafening and pleasingly cross-party.

"(This is a) dangerous attempt to undermine respect for police", says Labour's shadow home secretary Yvette Cooper. "(It's) irresponsible," says London mayor Sadiq Khan. "The PM's weakness when it comes to standing up to Suella is the most shocking thing in all this," claims a senior Labour source.

They're wrong, of course. The most shocking thing is Liberal Democrat leader Sir Ed Davey realising he can actually appear in the paper if he plays this right and so surfaces to attempt some politics. "(Sunak) must finally act with integrity by sacking his out-of-control home secretary!" he declares, frightening many MPs who had forgotten he was even in the room with them.

Meanwhile, several Tories approach the BBC anonymously.

"The home secretary's awfulness is now a reflection on the prime minister. Keeping her in post is damaging him," says one. Another straight-up describes her as "unhinged". Another claims the comparison with Northern Ireland is "wholly offensive and ignorant", and really, all of this is permanently triggering that "Heartbreaking: the worst person you know just made a great point" reaction image.

Saturday

Hey, speaking of reaction images, look, Labour has a go:

Well. They tried.

BUT! Do you want to know the INTERESTING bit??!

Enter: Nadine Dorries! Mad shrieking pink harpy who spends her days maintaining a BoJo shrine in her bedroom! Always the most hinged of politicians, let's see what she has to say.

Former cabinet minister Nadine Dorries claimed Ms Braverman was trying to get sacked to give her a platform of martyrdom in service of the right-wing. "The competition is on now for who is going to be the leader of the opposition," Ms Dorries told the BBC.

???!??!?

PERTINENT POLITICAL OBSERVATION FROM DORRIES?!?!?? The most shocking part of this whole affair. Remember that time she yelled at a journalist during an interview about Boris Johnson's latest scandal when he asked her how Johnson was feeling about the whole thing and inadvertently implied they were having an affair when No One Asked? God, wonders never cease. She's even acknowledging the Tories can't win the next GE, look. I'd say this is growth, except I am 100% positive she's just being catty about BlowJo being fired again.

Anyway, the real Saturday issue: it's Armistice Day, and there's a pro-Palestine march planned.

Now, to give context, Armistice Day has a creepy level of patriotic state-worship attached to it in the UK. Some time in October everyone on telly suddenly starts wearing a poppy, and if you don't you get hanged, drawn and quartered by (a) the British press, and then (b) a baying mob outside your living room. You most be performatively sad. You must perform reverence and hero worship and say things like "Never again" all while whole-heartedly supporting current wars. You must talk about "our brave boys", and share the works of dead poets from the trenches, and then completely fail to absorb any of their lessons. If anyone tries to wear the white poppy to distance themselves from the current political appropriation while still commemorating the millions of conscripted casualties, you accuse them of being "woke" and pissing on the worthy dead of WW1. It's a whole thing, and politicians love using it as an excuse to point fingers and mock each other for being insufficiently patriotic if they wear the wrong tie to the ceremonies, or choose to walk with actual veterans rather than a head of the current army, or any number of other things. And then on November the 12th they'll order a drone strike or something.

So, off the bat, you can see how a pro-Palestine rally on the same day was likely to be seen as provocative to some.

"Some" included Sunak! He didn’t (publicly at least) ask the police to ban the protest, but did call on organisers to call it off, claiming the choice of date was “provocative and disrespectful”, because as I say, a march calling for the ceasefire of a genocide is super disrespectful to every sad dead poet in a trench who dreamed of a ceasefire so they could live, or something.

But the inevitable therefore happens, which is that far-right activists agree that it's disrespectful, and so decide to violently target the march to show their respect for the idea of peace on Armistice Day, or something.

Here's the planned route by the organisers:

Note, though, that the Armistice ceremony happens at the Cenotaph - visibly nowhere near the march. These two events actually wouldn't have overlapped, if it weren't for far-right protestors deliberately linking them to stop them being disrespectfully linked, or something.

And that's exactly what happened. From the Guardian:

Perhaps the most striking incident, though, was when far-right protesters charged past police who sought to hold them back from the Cenotaph. In this video, a man shouts “this is fucking our country” in celebration. Whereas the pro-Palestine march had been excluded from the area as a precaution, the far right was not; by overwhelming the police, they supposedly sought to defend the site from an enemy that simply wasn’t there.

(that's quite a good article of the whole thing, actually, I recommend giving it a read.)

Crucially to the clown show, though, several politicians and others accused Suella deVille of emboldening the far-right, which... well, several of the far-right protestors straight up said was the case on the day, so hard to disagree, really.

Rumours of a reshuffle in Whitehall circumnavigate the land so fast the truth gets sucked into a tornado and is declared MIA.  Here's the thing! I've covered a few Cabinet reshuffles by now, Tumblrs, you know the drill. Reshuffles are always deniable until they actually happen – so if, say, a reshuffle was going to happen on Monday 13 November 2023, there’d be no need to publicise it in advance. That way, if things change and politics happen, you don't need to retract anything :)

Because, remember: reshuffles are always controversial.  Yes, some people get demoted, and those people will often kick off, and some people who don't deserve it get promoted, and lots of people kick off.  But the big thing is that a lot more people get overlooked for promotion.

His most ardent supporters would say that Rishi Sunak is a cautious man (if you'll allow me a moment to express my own view on the matter, Tumblrs, if you'll forgive this crumb of personal opinion amongst my otherwise impeccable journalling of greatest integrity, I once did a teambuilding task with my students where they had to build the best possible bridge out of uncooked spaghetti and pieces of marshmallow, and I personally would liken the structural integrity of his spine to the losing team's entry), and reshuffles will spread a lot of disappointment to Tory MPs who lose – or fail to gain – a cabinet position.

So, all in all... regardless of Suella's idiocy...

There's no guarantee of a reshuffle. Rumours are just that - whether they prove to be true or not remains to be seen.

Week Commencing Monday 13th November, 2023

New week, new challenges! And it's going to be a big week this week. On Wednesday (tomorrow, at time of writing), three big things are going to be announced, and these announcements will colour everything else this week:

One.  The Supreme Court decide whether the government will be allowed to enact their plan to send some migrants claiming asylum in the UK to Rwanda, a signature Braverman plan that human rights campaigners (including many in Rwanda) have been trying to block for ages.

It’s a massive deal anyway – a flagship government idea that’s been bogged down in the court, and we’ll finally have an answer one way or another.  For what it’s worth, the Tories aren’t confident about winning it, either.  The optimists among them reckon it’s a 50/50 chance, the pessimists reckon it’s 70/30 against, so it's iffy at best.

But here's the thing!

Plenty of Tories have always disliked Suella.  Others could handle the odd outburst she has, but can’t stomach the sheer number of them lately - the Lib Dem non-entity man was absolutely right that she is rapidly growing out of control and just does not know when to shut the entire fuck up.

Which means! If the Supreme Court allows the Rwanda plan, Braverman could become emboldened, like a far-right protest injuring police officers to defend the cenotaph from people who are nowhere near it and have no interest in it.  Do we want an emboldened Braverman?? Well; no, obviously. I also don't want dysentery, or rotten meat, or a serial killer in my neighbourhood. But it's a question even Tories are asking themselves, which is notable.

Plus, even if the court allows it, there will still be months of planning, and lawyers might still prevent the plans in the long run...  But psychologically, the issue is this: the government wants this win, but probably doesn’t benefit from Braverman feeling victorious.

Two.  We’ll get inflation figures.  The government promised to halve inflation, and it seems likely they’ve managed this.  Expect them to massively celebrate this, to distract from the promises they haven’t kept e.g. waiting lists in England, competent governance, etc.

Three.  Voting on a ceasefire in Israel seems likely for Wednesday.  It’s the SNP’s idea, and it won’t affect government policy (they won’t support a ceasefire – they claim it’ll empower Hamas).

But it’s a big deal for Labour, even more so than the Tories.  A Shadow minister has already resigned over the war.  A bunch of frontbenchers want a ceasefire, but that isn’t Keir Starmer’s policy, a man who is calling for the colours of the Israel flag to be shown at sports matches to show that "we stand in solidarity with Israel", because you can really count on Starmer to fuck up everything he touches.  So what do they do?  Abstain?  Claim they had a prior commitment??  We might see more resignations, basically.  Big day for Starmer.

So! With all that in mind...

Monday

8.43am

Oh look. Timestamps are back. I wonder if that suggests anything?

Suella Braverman is sacked as Home Secretary.

But! Sunak is accused of waiting too long! Which he demonstrably did!

He should have made the decision after the illegal article that she shouldn't have written and triggered a far-right rally on fucking Armistice Day.  Instead, remember that 'cautious' descriptor I talked about?? He waited until the tide had turned against her completely, and now looks like he (a) was too much of a useless wimp to fire her until he was sure people would still like him and pat his dick and tell him he's a Good PM, and (b) only fired her because he caved in to that appalling lefty liberal cabal that somehow these days includes the Metropolitan Police of all fucking people, and she'd have been able to stay otherwise.

Shout out to the best comment from Reddit:

u/nowonmai666: Doesn't she normally get sacked on a Friday so she can have the weekend off before being reappointed?

Anyway, that's the big risk now: Braverman’s supporters can claim she was only fired because Sunak caved in to the left.

8.56am

Tory MP Andrea Jenkyns claims Sunak only sacked Braverman because he caved in to the left.

9.00am

Neil O'Brian, Pharmacy Minister, quits to live out his stated dream of being a back-bencher with less power.

*sus*

9.09am

Nick Gibb, Schools Minister, quits to live out his stated dream of being more diplomatic, or something.

*sus*

9.42am

The Lib Dems decide to build on the success of their leader getting to be on telly for his one comment on Thursday and call for a general election.  Says Ed Davey: “It was the Prime Minister’s sheer cowardice that kept her in the job even for this long. We are witnessing a broken party and a broken government, both of which are breaking this country.”

Good job! They're having such a good few days.

Anyway remember the Tories don’t have to have a general election until December 2024, though, thanks to the Fixed-term Parliaments Act (2011), which was passed by the coalition government of Tories and, um, Lib Dems.  In which Ed Davey served for three years.

Hmm.

9.43am 

James Cleverly (remember him?) returns to the Cabinet and is appointed Home Secretary. The party attempts to appear trendy by experimenting with emojis:

This appointment is probably because Tory strategists wanted him in a domestic role to help the party’s chances in the next election; as Surprising Political Pundit Nadine Dorries told us, of all fucking people, the race is now on to lead the opposition.

But hey, this is not likely to lead to any more changes -

10.03am

FORMER PRIME MINISTER, BREXIT-TRIGGERER AND PIG-FUCKER DAVID CAMERON BECOMES FOREIGN SECRETARY

!!!!!!!!!!!!

And look! Another emoji! They're so hip!

(Side note... the balls on this one are astounding, actually. The UK political system has been in chaos ever since Cameron, and he was the first domino. This is not a well-loved former hero that will be greeted warmly by the unwashed masses.)

Awkward though, since just last month Sunak claimed that we’d lived through “30 years of a political system that incentivizes the easy decision, not the right one.”  It would be a terrible shame if a journalist was to ask David Cameron whether he agreed with the Prime Minister on that, given that Cameron’s job is to support the Prime Minister now.

Especially since Cameron took to Twitter last month to explicitly criticise Sunak for breaking the Tory promise to deliver High Speed 2.

(Cameron tweeted this criticism last month.  Labour MP Angela Rayner however promptly retweets it now lol suck a dick Dave, but try a human one this time)

Also, fun fact, Cameron has just come out of a large-scale lobbying and corruption scandal. Given the state of Sunak, though, that's actually probably what got him the job.

BUT!!! Here's an even funner fact: the man is not an MP. He left politics after he accidentally triggered Brexit and then it came out he'd once face fucked a dead pig's head while it was held on the lap of another Tory; he's been living it up in the lucrative world of after-dinner speaking, as these people do.

So can you do that?? Can you hold a Cabinet position if no one at all has voted for you??

Yes, turns out.

Don't be alarmed by that, though:

But, convention holds that anyone who becomes a Cabinet member while not being an MP needs to be a Peer - that way, if they do bad and naughty things, they can't be held accountable by the House of Commons but they can be held accountable by the House of Lords. Only problem is, Hameron is not a lord...

10.13am

The reshuffle, bafflingly, continues. Jeremy Hunt will remain as chancellor.

For the first time since 2010, the top four positions in government – Prime Minister (Sunak), Chancellor of the Exchequer (Hunt), Home Secretary (Cleverly) and Foreign Secretary (Cameron) – are all held by men.

10.18am

Lots of people tweeting about the historic context of Cameron’s appointment.  Here’s my favourite:

10.48am

David Cameron is given a life peerage, so his proper name now is Lord Piggledick.

10.52am

Health secretary Will Quince quits.  He wasn’t planning to stand for re-election anyway though, so this one is probably not a shock. But it's important that no one else resi-

11.04am

Decarbonisation minister Jesse Norman resigns.

...

...

...

Time for a

✨Conspiracy Theory✨

Between Quince and Norman – as well as Neil O’Brien and Nick Gibb – we’re seeing several mid-ranking ministers resign, despite being generally regarded as fairly competent.

It’s possible they were fired in private, and they’re publicly resigning to save face.  But here’s another theory.

MPs aren’t allowed to seek commercial employment for six months after resigning from the government.

So hypothetically, if you were going to lose your seat in a general election, you’d want to have resigned six months earlier so you can still get a job.

If that’s what these guys are doing, it suggests we’re on track for a May 2024 election...?

11.05am

11.12am

Remember Cameron's financial scandal? Quick background here: David Cameron was specifically vice-chair of a £1bn China-UK investment fund.

So let’s see what throwback former leader Iain Duncan Smith thinks of Cameron’s return:

“I am astonished at this appointment. It seems to send a signal to China that we are pursuing business with them at all costs and any costs. Those who have been sanctioned now feel more abandoned than at any time. Those facing genocide and persecution will feel more abandoned than at any time.”

I cannot believe I am about to say this.

But.

I agree with Iain Duncan Smith *spits on floor*

11.50am

Former Tory deputy prime minister Lord Heseltine is asked to sum up the return of Cameron, and says it’s the “clearest signal that the sort of right wing lurch that we’ve seen and the anti-European movement that we’ve seen has been put to bed, and that will get a message across to people”.

12.13pm

A Tory MP is worried that Cameron’s return will turn back the clock on Brexit and Johnson’s election.

“It is very alarming. I am predicting a softening on small boats, a softening on legal migration. I would not be surprised if the ban on conversion therapy returns.”

... Don’t threaten me with a good time.

Anyway, let’s see how the public actually sees Cameron compared with other PMs!

Yeah, not sure people will mind if Cameron’s not Boris Johnson.

12.43pm

ITV political editor Robert Peston walks past a minister of state.  The minister’s on the phone, but takes a moment to heatedly shout at Peston, “The PM just sacked me!”

I guess some days are easier than others as a journalist

12.47pm

Therese Coffey resigns as environment secretary!!!!

*choirs of heavenly angels sing*

You'll remember her of course, Tumblrs - she was one of the thugs manhandling people into the 'right' voting lobbies to force their vote on the day of Liz Truss' fracking law. Rumour has it she still has the Whip handle in her ass.

A lot of people seem to be resigning today! But don't be fooled. In almost every case, it’ll be because they were told to resign.  They’ve been sacked, but they resign to save face. A last mercy from their benevolent leader.

My guess: Tessie here is terrible at media skills, so – get rid of her before she hurts general election chances. This, too, is a pattern.

12.52pm

Rachel Maclean sacked as Housing Minister! Fun fact, numbers fans: it took Doctor Who 33 years to make it to eight Doctors, but since the 2019 election, the Tories managed eight Housing Ministers in just under 4 years

trololol

1.15pm

Jeremy Quin quits as Minister for the Cabinet Office.

1.37pm

Times Political Editor Steven Swinford reports that No 10 is struggling to find a new housing minister (owing to rumours the job is cursed). Several people have turned it down, including Jeremy Quin. It is incredible to me that they didn't line someone up before sacking the last guy.

Kemi Badenoch and Michael Gove are apparently unhappy that Rachel Maclean was removed from the role. I for one do not care about the opinions of Kemi Badenoch or Michael Gove.

2.04pm

Health Secretary Steve Barclay becomes Environment Secretary.  This is effectively a demotion for him. It is our 5th Environment Secretary in four years. Chasing that Housing Minister record! It took 19 years for Doctor Who to have five Doctors

2.15pm

Richard Holden appointed new Conservative Party chairman.

A 2019-intake Tory MP, he led the charge against Sir Keir Starmer over Beergate, which did damage Starmer a bit (albeit not much, given that it turned out Starmer had complied with lockdown regs, and the accusation was nakedly to try and distract from Partygate).  So this appointment looks like more strategy to win the next election - someone not known enough to be hated, with what passes in the modern Tory party for a proven track record.

This could be a sign that the Tories intend to at least try to shore up the Red Wall votes? As unlikely as the Tories are to keep those seats.

That said, Holden’s seat disappears in a boundary change next election, sooooo … we'll see what they do there.

2.24pm

Victoria Atkins appointed Health Secretary, replacing Steve Barclay who’s moved to Environment Secretary. She's a relative unknown but also considered actually competent. Massive middle finger to Steve Barclay

2.37pm

Laura Trott (formerly in pensions) promoted to Chief Secretary to the Treasury.

2.42pm

Science minister George Freeman resigns.

3.18pm

YouGov conducts a snap poll: is the appointment of David Cameron as Foreign Secretary a good decision or a bad decision?

Good decision: 24%

Bad decision: 38%

Don't know: 38%

So that's going well

3.24pm

Greg Hands is made a business minister after losing the Tory chairman role.

John Glen moves from chief secretary to the Treasury to become the Minister for the Cabinet Office and Paymaster General.

3.39pm

With Cameron being a Lord now, he’ll be based in the House of Lords rather than the Commons.  The most recent Cabinet Minister to be based in the Lords was former Brexit minister Lord Frost, who did weigh in on the matter:

“[T]hough I was not running a whole Department too. I don’t think it works well to have a lead Cabinet Minister answering questions and defending their Department solely in the Lords. The Lords is not a fully party political environment - nor should it be - and voters are owed proper political scrutiny. In our system, that can only happen in the Commons.”

I cannot believe I am about to say this.

But.

I agree with Lord Frost *spits on floor*

The SNP had already called this out, with MP Stephen Flynn claiming, “The UK is not a serious country.”

4.21pm

Conservative MP Lee Rowley appointed the 16th housing minister in the past 13 years. Even counting David Tennant twice, that's more than all the Doctors Who we've ever had, and that took almost 60 years.

5.16pm

Sky News’s Tamara Cohen reports that Sunak sacked Braverman by phone this morning!  Downing Street says there won’t be any exchange of letters between them - this is almost unheard of. Politics runs on paper trails! Everything happens through formal letters! By phone!

It means we’re denied insight into their differences.  But Cohen reckons we’re likely to hear from Braverman on Wednesday, as the Supreme Court rules on the Rwanda scheme.

6.03pm

Tory MP Andrea Jenkyns, former Education Minister, submits no-confidence letter in Rishi Sunak.

It's almost like, in the absence of Dorries, she's decided that someone needs to step up and have a tantrum and that someone might as well be her. It is, actually, an extremely funny letter, as these letters go. Normally they're written with a sort of furious earnestness wrapped in formal language. I presume that Andrea Jenkyns MP, former Education Minister, was aiming for something similar, and the first paragraph manages it. But by the end you sort of start to wonder if this was supposed to be a letter she wrote with her therapist to get her feelings out:

My favourite line, when pulled in isolation, is "Yes Boris Johnson, the man who won the Conservative Party a massive majority, was unforgivable enough."

Yeah, Andrea babes. You're bang on there.

6.05pm

Esther McVey is appointed as Cabinet Office minister.  Not a full cabinet member, but she will attend cabinet meetings.

This is notable: unlike a lot of today’s appointments, she’s on the right of the party.  Her role will be to represent the government on TV and radio as much as possible, talking about gender/culture/British colonial history issues (i.e. she’s anti-woke and a screaming bigot).

In other words, with Braverman gone, McVey is an offering for the populist right of the party to try to appease them.

6.15pm

Sunak tweets about the new cabinet, claiming they’ll make “the right decisions for our great country, not the easy ones.”  So it looks like that’s the new slogan, and we're pressing on with austerity

6.27pm

Tim Loughton, a Tory MP on the “One Nation” wing (i.e the David Cameron side) responds to Andrea Jenkyns’s letter of no-confidence by tweeting:

“Where can we submit a letter of no confidence in the Pantomime Dame?”

(It’s Andrea he’s publicly referring to as a pantomime dame there. A lil joke from the Tories for you)

6.31pm

Paul Scully sacked as minister for London. Didn't know that one was a position.

9.43pm

Sunak says that only a two-state solution will allow a new future for Israel/Palestine.  This is, um, not what the Prime Minister of Israel wants.  Who knows whether the Prime Minister of Israel will survive this crisis anyway – but these are big words from Sunak.  Cameron’s influence? Maybe? Interesting either way

10.03pm

And then - PLOT TWIST!!!

According to ITV political editor Robert Peston, a senior government source reveals that Cameron was approached on TUESDAY. 

Which means plans were underway to get rid of Braverman not only before the far-right violence on Saturday, but before her anti-police article on Wednesday.  It seems she lost her job not because of what she said about police after all; but because she claimed homelessness was a lifestyle choice.

Well well.

11.05pm

And the day finishes with Andrea Leadsom back in government (as Under Secretary of State for Health and Social Care) which nobody saw coming!  Pretty demeaning to the other 300 Tory MPs who could have been given this.

The final response from numerous Tories: they are feeling jilted and insulted because David Cameron being brought back when he's NOT EVEN AN MP, RISHI suggests that they themselves are not good enough to be in government.

No one tell them

[idolapollo]

Dedicated DEV LOG #2

i'm a month late ( ´･ω･)

at least finals are over for now!!!

please don't be disappointed i tried my best to manage stress, seasonal depression, and self-doubt while writing over the past two months ( T∀T)

once again, this month's blog post is decicated to "Dedicated To…"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

man, fall quarter always sucks, and i hate when it gets so dark out so quick!!! how are you supposed to expect apollo to function without much sun!!!!!! ヽ(　`Д´)ﾉ

well, i hope everyone's been okay! i've been trying to be as mentally stable as possible… and it's kind of working! even with seasonal depression, therapy has been helping teach me how to calm myself and live to tomorrow! i did get some anxiety medication a short bit after my last dev log too, and it's been going great for me!! ( ´∀｀ )b

lately, i've been looking at other games and media and wondering what makes psychological horror so good, and what even is it? turns out no one has a set answer and it's hard to describe (´･ω･｀)

looking at the reception of mouthwashing (which i really enjoyed!!), i'm starting to get my own doubts on how scary my game really is and if i'm doing things right enough…

i started to rewrite and add stuff to the first route when i thought i was finished and going to move onto the second route….. i even made the first route much longer as a result, and now the other routes need to match up... ( T∀T)

i ended up putting in more abstract representations and symbolism of mental struggles and fears, similar to how pocket mirror does things! i also especially added more bits where you can actually play the game, as how i currently had it, the game was more of a visual novel with rpg elements and made in rpg maker instead of ren'py lmao

compared to the original script i had, i felt the game's script was set too much in realism and didn't come off as scary, especially thinking about how rpgs themselves aren't really scary since you're not playing in a 1st-person view, therefore you're not that scared because the scary stuff is happening to a 3rd party and takes you out of the immersion

it's a lot more work than i thought trying to make things scary.... you really have to look into human instinct and nature, not to sound too pragmatic ( ´_ゝ`)

before i rant a bit more, here's a preview of reyn's full art, the one tybalt is hopelessly in love with!! feel free to stop reading at this point if you think i'm annoying as shit don't worry i feel the same

i hope i made him look cute AND cool enough! i made him to my tastes after all lol

speaking of which, i hope my feelings—ugly, pitiful, relatable however they may be—get across in this game, i have a lot of anxieties around love, be it familial, platonic, or romantic, and i've always felt lonely, ignored, and out of place a lot of the time

suffice to say, i am projecting on tybalt a lot lol

honestly, i wonder if anyone even reads these, or if anyone cares at all, but i hope someone out there does

as i said in a depressing tweet, my works and stories and i may be worthless, but i like them and they get me wanting to live another day!

i hope by the next update either in the next month or two, i'll have at least two routes finished!

i'm sorry i can't show more than this, but i swear i'm putting my all into this!! especially since i want to work on a comic soon too!

i'll leave everyone with a scrapped doodle i had that i was initially going to include with an update i was gonna post before halloween, but you already know what happened (´･ω･｀)

thank you once again for following me and my stupid, worthless works! (^_^)v (and if you're interested in who exactly these characters i keep posting are, if anyone's interested i have a whole story!! but basically they're all me in a sense!)

[trickstarbrave]

heyyyy im making a pinned post as that is a feature and seems good to keep info all in one place esp for ppl on mobile

❤️im brave!! or rua works if u want to but brave is by far the most popular name i go by. he/him pronouns

❤️art commissions/art trades are NOT on the table rn sadly. i used to offer commissions and did art trades with friends but for the most part im really busy with work/health conditions. if i have a bit of free time i may change this or make a few exceptions on a case by case basis depending on my schedule. for the most part tho i just want my art to be a stress relief activity

❤️art requests i do take from time to time now, but there is no guaranty i will take it. please do not spam requests hoping i’ll do it and please do not get mad if i don’t do it. they’re requests for a reason. if i am particularly inspired i’ll be happy to get around to it if life lets me

❤️technically multifandom blog i would say, mostly i have been focused on the elder scrolls series lately. you will probably see me rb stuff from like, a bunch of series. if this changes i’ll prob edit this post LMAO (i do not control the special interest)

❤️not just an art blog but also personal. my art can be found in my #my art tag. wips can sometimes be found scattered on my twitter if they arent on here. and writing that i publish can be found on my ao3 (though i have like a million wips that dont get published and be warned much of my ao3 is rated E and not for everyone)

❤️ been doing a lot of oc posting so i can do a run down of them currently for anyone that wants to follow along/know the lore:

/// OCS ///

(under cut)

🌟 Eyja: skyrim oc, nord dragonborn, she/her. past life incarnation was konahrik, alduin’s head priest, murdered by miraak. uses a bow and magic primarily. story can be found here

🌟 Senna: skyrim oc, nord dragonborn, she/her. proud two handed weapon user and leader of the companions. fought and lost to the world eater who took her back to his den and make her his partner. proof prophecy can be a complicated thing. story can be found here.

🌟 Baldur: skyrim oc, nord dragonborn, he/him. grew up on the streets stealing to survive, and certified trans of gender. fought and lost to the world eater who decided to force baldur to be his champion. helps him take over skyrim. story not yet published but will prob contain a lot of mentions of transphobia as a cw :(

🌟 Ansa: skyrim oc, nord dragonborn, she/her. orphaned at a young age, and just a weird, feral child. learned to steal, and ended up joining the thieves guild. killed mercer and turned the guild over to karliah and is helping rebuild it when she finds a weird rock that turns out to be a dragon egg. story not yet published

🌟 Ahkrinaak: general elder scrolls oc, he/him/any pronouns. he is based off me as a sort of self insert/persona character purely for comedy, not a serious au. dragon/god who was corrupted in the war with lorkhan/shor and became more so an agent of lorkhan. he spends most of his time pretending to be a mortal and causing problems. he’s just sillay. looks like a falmer/snow elf and nord hybrid making pretty much everyone just in general uncomfortable. dragons dont have gender he just likes tits. divorced with alduin

🌟 Lyre: not a skyrim oc (yet) but my beloved dnd character i have made a million aus for, including one that has turned into a full on novel lmao. will update everyone when i start uploading the novel (its not gonna be too serious just a fun lil webnovel that is pg rate) and you can see me post illustrations for. depending on the AU uses either he/him or she/her. i just think theyre neat

🌟 Anthial: nerevarine bosmer, tired, angry, nb spellsword. he/them pronouns. just wants to cover their entire body until you cant tell what gender they are. vivec never got them the drink he owed them. was convinced as nerevar that voryn never liked them back all that much. had an open marriage with almalexia. this incarnation was emotionless and lacked a moral compass due to the betrayal in their past life.

🌟 Steren: nerevarine, technically. not actually the reincarnation of nerevar, but the reincarnation of nerevar’s son. nerevar never reincarnated bc he was too busy haunting his descendants, too upset to move on. steren has a couple of aus but mostly its him with vivienne the dragonborn who belongs to @mulberrycafe. calls voryn “ata” and nerevar “dad” because he technically grew up in cyrodiil but remembers his first lifetime in bits and pieces where voryn raised him for the first few years.

feel free to send asks abt my ocs i love answering them