#lmao this is what happens when im bored
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as someone who isnt super excited for sotm for certain reasons I am really glad that like. it's clear that since ruin theyve been setting up for carnival and sotm IS carnival. so now that carnival is finally coming out, afterwards theyll be moving on to other plotlines since the main villain stuff is sorted out
I'm just rlly happy to finally see a clear direction for how the story is gonna be playing out with like "okay these games were leading up to this so after this will be open possibilites" instead of like. absolutely no info about each upcoming game and being left guessing before it releases and just having to wait and see what's in it and if anything you're looking forward to will be in it
it feels like they have a plan and a solid direction for what they're trying to do and after carnival releases thatll be all that buildup coming to fruition. & we already know from the Scott interview that theres another release 'beyond sotm' that's 'super exciting' so maybe thatll be focusing on another big currently untouched (which is basically all of them) plotline, or even the big campaign game that dawko has been calling security breach 2
#even if i dislike how theyve been handling this whole mimic cassies dad factory mapbot bonnie bully stuff#the past like 2 releases 3 after sotm#after watching johns theory video it really does feel like stuff was more purposeful with thought put into it when u plug in cassies dad#even if the plot of him being behind mxes and trapping mimic is pushing other more important characters aside#its probably what happened and accepting that makes the story at least seem more thought out#it did make me feel better about it bc like. it at least feels like theyre cooking#like what theyre working on DOES have a direction and a plan and it isnt just random stuff like how it felt when hw2 came out#i might still think that the stuff theyve been doing the past few releases is boring af and uninteresting#compared to earlier concepts like focusing on vanny and the possession aspects and sentient glamrocks#(we could see more of it with freddy if theyd let him come back ever)#but like. at least it has thought put into it and feels like theyre actually trying to set shit up for something#like sotm is an ORIGIN#the tagline was 'sometimes you have to understand the past to see the future'#at the end of the day sotm is a setup for a campaign thatll take place in present day anf#even if its taking ten thousand years to get there im excited for it#aka its taken a long time to tell this story setup of cassies dad and mimic and shit and it might be boring for some people#(me)#but at the end of the day its meant to be setup explaining the past of why mimic exists (even if that's already in tbe books)#so after we 'understand' it we can get back to present day#and focus on its current victims vanessa gregory cassie etc#cassies dad is 100% dead if hw2s protag is him so he woukdnt be relevant anymore. just another character thing to serve cassie#im just saying like after sotm its wide open for getting back to the plot#and i think its actually right to say that bc like all of this has been setup. if hw2 protag is cassies dad its a prequel to ruin#so rn ruin is the most recent game in the timeline. meaning the next game that takes place in current tjme will focus on the current mains#Gregory cassie vanessa#sorry for fnaf plot posting again ive been thinking about it a lot the past few days#thought id balance some negative ive posted with a positive since im feeling better about it myself :)#one day we're gonna be so back and its gonna be great#its just gonna be a long annoying wait lmao#thoughts
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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good morning suzaku enjoyers
#paradox live#paralive#allen sugasano#suzaku no phoenix watch me me now#HELP THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN UR BORED + IN A SILLY MOOD#not that im complaining tho lmao
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I don't infodump often, but when I do it's either when my best friend asks me specifically about whatever my current special interest is or☝️ when my cousin wanders into my room high off his ass at midnight and asks me what's up
#just blahs#its so funny i love my cousin so much#hes just across the the hall from me so if hes also up late and bored he just wanders over#nine times out of ten he opens with 'im so high rn dude . i am straight up tweaking lmao'#which‚ as we all know‚ is when the mind is most receptive to infodumps about something it knows nothing about#i get the lore dumps about all the drama thats happening in his real life and then hes like what's up w you#and i get to give him my signature mischievous autistic faggot smile and go 'so theres a new episode from my podcast-'
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4fb4b3962d979cc153c0ef5a569ef066/0e9f928fedd9d5e6-a7/s540x810/9b24933e3e9e35a155c736d340d24391842c0369.jpg)
this is so funny to me actually bcuz this is 100% how i talk abt my characters ages. i know what YEAR they were born and i know what rheir ages are supposed to be at the start of the story but i dont actually know when it takes place?? im really bad at math. There was a moment where rainbow was supposed to be 23 and i somehow accidentally made her 17 lmfao
#theoretically it would take place in 2021 bcuz thats when i created my object ocs but the more time passes#the weirder it feels to have it take place years in the past#i considered moving up their birthdays by a few years but like. idk i like their birthdays theyre cute :3#bubblegum is SUPPOSED TO BE 15 and she was born july 2007#watermelon is supposed to be 7 and he was born june 2014#etc etc#starr is 27 and she was born september uhhh 1995 or 1997 i actually dont remember. whichever one makes sense#also that would mean building block was born in 2020 and since she's always gonna be a baby the furhter away we get#it means that she wouldnt have even been born when the story is actually supposed to take place. Like#i know their birthdays and their ages and what year they were born everybody else has to do the math#to figure out wtf is going on because I DONT KNOW#also that means that building block would be a pandemic baby lmao 😭#what was rhe vibe in nigeria in august 2020 during the pandemic. well i say that like it even happened in their universe#which there really isnt any reason for that to be true#it isnt historically important to mention like..... world war two or slavery or whatever. fucking obviously. in the context of objects#it gets messy so its better to just Not#also the months the characters were born really fuck me up bcuz jayden was born in late december#so for most of the first year that they met he would be.... younger than he actually is being born in 2003#but since building's block birthday and exact age is the most important timeline-wise#and she was born august 14th 2020 and she's seven months old when they first meet#then it canonically would take place in march 2021 which was my original intention#bcuz that is the actual date that i first created my object ocs#ANYWAY. boring character age ramblings#but its hard to keep track of so i dont even blame the author!!!! birthdays are weird and hard to keep up w/#when you dont know exactly when your story is supposed to take place#assuming its in a normal-ish world im sure fantasy ocs dont have this problem#txt#object ocs
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"Speak No Evil was one of the most brutal movies ive ever seen" i dont wanna sound rude but did u spend the entire 30 years of ur life watching exclusively veggietales movies lmfao
#'the movie SO dirsturbing i wish it wasnt so good' BROTHER did we watch the same movie ????#i love james mcavoy but the most reaction i got from his character was discomfort bc i dont like when men yell AHAHAHAA#and he was literally the ONLY GOOD ACTOR IN THE MOVIE#that movie was lowkey shit in all aspects BESIDES james mcavoy HAHAH#literally what happened in it besides boring suspense LMFAO the only thing 'brutal' literally happened off screen like cmon HAHA#i feel like im the only person who thought it was so mediocre but like are yall fr ? NOTHING HAPPENED LMAO#kats movie rants
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the brief mention that 1.3 leonard could still be feeling some deep lingering grief over his brothers' deaths still never fails to fascinate me tbh like, does he think of the standards he must have lost since their passing and feel guilt? or does he see them in every child he abuses??? does he keep his grief to himself or does he find it a useful anecdote to what must be a countless number of families dealing with loss??? does the green dragon know? does he confide in it????? since leonard seems to be aware of what arioch lost to the union, just how aware is/was she in what HE lost???????? did they have a role in each other's loss? is THAT where their beef came from??????? im going to merge into a wall
#gu6chan's musings#drakengard#drag on dragoon#leonard drakengard#drag on dragoon 1.3#drakengard 1.3#on the other hand; i've been obsessed over the idea of doing the 'nothing in life matters 😔' (DOD1) 'nothing in life matters 😎' (DOD1.3)#meme with them because of this#still... why would they give us the base concepts for the 1.3 cast but literally none of the depth for 98% of them (angelus is excused lmao#like you're going to make them edgier okay BUT THESE ARE STILL THE SAME PEOPLE???? WHAT PUSHED THEM TO THAT BC IT CAN'T JUST BE A 'DIFFEREN#TIMELINE DIFFERENT PERSONALITY' THING OTHERWISE YOU LOSE ANY SENSE OF “self” THEY HAD IN THEIR CHOICES IN THE DOD1 TIMELINE ENTIRELY#there HAS to be SOMETHING that made them like this... well caim we pretty much see it#BUT LEONARD AND FURIAE?????? i still stand by it; they fucking took the dragon-blood pill too i just KNOW they did#but that still doesnt answer what the fuck went on with him and arioch#the boring but most STRAIGHTFORWARD answer would probably be something among the lines of#'Oh well she came to the village and he had to drive her out after realising she was literally insane and she's been waiting to get back in#ever since. leonard just kinda knew about the dead relatives bc thats everyone'#but i dont like that explanation as much as the idea that they KNEW because they had some INVOLVEMENT when it happened#(likely unintentional.... maybe? 👀)#also why the fuck does the prologue just casually mention leonard was part of the union but literally never brings up why he's midgard's#most wanted by the time the truly diseased takes place and what led him to (presumably) abandoning it to begin with#....WAS IT SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE DEATH OF ARIOCH'S FAMILY???? HUH??????#ngl im entering conspiracy mode with this but being honest#it almost seems in character and MAKES SENSE that him having something to do with the death of/possible killing of arioch's family would#drive him to where he is by the time TTD takes place#think about it!!! leonard joins the union; ends up driving a woman to literal insanity after involving himself with the death of her family#the guilt causes him to leave the union and seek a life of atonement helping OTHER families whose lives were torn apart by the war/union;#his brothers are possibly killed during his defection??? maybe??? something something#arioch seeks his ass out and spends her time waiting to feed on the village/semi-subconsciously maybe waiting to ruin everything he's worke#for....
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book 5 of the year done!!!! im literally one book away from halfway to my goal and the first month of the year isn't even over yet fjsksk i am DEFINITELY going to hit it this year!
#SUUUUPER bummed to say tho that ive made it to the first book of the year i havent enjoyed :/#the worst part is — its the first in a series apparently and like. i WANT to know what happens next#but also i dont CARE enough to want to keep reading the rest of the series yknow?#like. this first book was just SOOOO disjointed#it was ALL exposition#it spent 500 pages giving individual backstories for each of the characters. as in each character l i t e r a l l y told their story#which first of all absolutely BORING way to get to know your characters and second of all NONE od these characters were even likeable!!!#and the worldbuilding was just. weird. it kind of didnt make sense and felt all over the place#and FULLY felt like he was just throwing random sci-fi-y words around to make it sound cooler but like. it wasnt.#and like all these characters are together on this pilgrimage right#but it is NEVER really revealed why/what they plan to do when they get to their end destination/anything like that#and im between each of these character backstories it feels like the same stuff one person is like oh wow what a story lets get some sleep#and then they do and they wake up and they do the tiniest bit of traveling#(which is like. described in the most lackluster barebones way) and then they eat and share another story and rinse and repeat#it was SO boring#it honestly reminded me of the movie the eternals LMAO#all these characters and you get to know a little about them but not enoguh to become invested and none of them are all that interesting#and the purpose of their journey/the purpose of THEM is completely unknown is completely devoid#like it felt like there was no plot#it was. ough not good.#so yeah would NOT recommend hyperion by dan simmons :/#mack reads
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its so disheartening to see non autistics comfort 30 year old mothers complaining about their autistic children
#like idk#it makes me want to throw up and i feel like everytime it happens an angel is being crushed like a bug under the devils heel#lmao but uh#been seeing a lot of people complain about autism#and im seeing way more “im autistic but i know when to shut up!” like uhrrrr ki#and its probably... not autistic people themselves...#no... playing pretend as a kid doesnt mean you have autism#or doing the imaginay computer thing with the paper#or stimming#like#stimming as an autistic person is waaaaaay different than stimming cus ure bored or waiting for something#like that is quite literally my homeostasis in action or whatever#i think idk how it works#if i cant do it im sorry but im literally what you will call inconvinient#like im glad autistic people are having fun and doing silly little memes for ourselves but#so many people want in now...#and they're just really disrespectful and really ableist#AND YES YOU CAN BE DISABLED AND ABLEIST?????#LIKE ??????#its like how with sia being autistic doesnt make her film okay its fucking awful and disgusting and its so depresseing as an autistic perso#she still belittled and made autistic children seem like inconviniences or hurdles in a neurotypicals life#same thing with the good doctor except i think no one there was autistic#which by the way i also thought it was weird how people made fun of that hand dryer scene thing#that was also disgusting#i cant believe the amount of “im autistic and i would just walk aways” i saw#like i actually felt sick seeing that sentiment spread#im sorry if im being overly sensitive but this is also extremely heartbreaking for me to see and i know im not the only one
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I've been following that AITA blog for a bit now and it has me thinking about my own life situations with conflict and drama. A passive "do I have anything I could submit to that blog?" But upon thinking about it, it's like... I really find no value in asking strangers whether I'm "the asshole" in situations. There are situations where I'm clearly not at fault, situations where I was a little shit but it was justified, and at least one situation where I have a definite "Oh yeah, I was definitely the asshole there". All in the past, so it's not like I'd even need advice or anything. I already know, so what's the point?
Maybe it stems from me being a generally self-aware and self-confident kind of person. I know what's going on with myself, know when I've wronged people, & I have a mentality of "well, I'll try to not do that in the future." Even if I feel a little guilty thinking back, what's the point of asking after something when I know I'm at fault? Or situations where things were complicated and both people had fault in things, but I know I wasn't being shitty on purpose & that's what matters to me. Ultimately, it results in a bunch of strangers drawing conclusions about things I really don't care about outside input on.
Still love reading the blog tho. There's something about reading up on random people's life drama that satisfies that gossipmonger soul in me So well.
#speculation nation#i think the most blatantly YTA thing id get is when i ghosted that guy i was seeing back when i was 20 or so#wasnt ever actually dating but i made it sound like i would. very much led him on.#then realized i just wasnt into cishet guys At All and dropped him out of nowhere bc i was 20 and didnt know how to deal with feelings#objectively it was a pretty awful thing for me to do. and i feel bad that i did it.#have i ever tried to reach out and apologize tho? no lmao#it happened so long ago now i feel like itd bring more animosity than relief anyways.#id like to think ive learned from it tho. Dont Date People Just For The Hell Of It.#god it rly is my romantic history where im the biggest asshole. my prior girlfriend too#i do feel bad about that. i never meant to hurt her but that sure is what i did.#it was better to break it off when i did. wouldve been better had i did it earlier but oh well.#then as a teenager and my whole fucked up romance life then...#but NO LONGER!!!!!!!! hopefully lol. im rly into my current girlfriend and after my last one ive been dedicated to. not do that again.#cant date people just because im bored. that's never ended well for me.#i learned my lesson this time for SURE!!!!!#anyways yea id say more constently id be The Asshole in these situations. but im only human man it happens.#other situations it's usually just fucked up situations with me being a toxic little shit in response bc it's all i knew.#idk. community voting doesnt matter to me. learning from my prior mistakes and shortcomings is what matters to me.#it's interesting to see the blog tho. people are insecure about some of the most trivial things sometimes...
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i'll see a character that appreciates the beauties in life and then blast them w my aro hc
#the character in question? why argenti of course :)#dont look at me idk what happened and idk how he got here#i am in mourning that i didnt pull him#NOT THAT I REALLY WANTED TO BC I WOULDNT KNOW WHAT TO USE HIM FOR#but i sure am :(#you know what actually for that i will go try#i did the same thing w hu tao btw#these two are aro in my head :) makes me happy (projecting)#idk ive been debating on which characters to try and pull bc >_> honestly im pretty chill now w all the characters i have#you can guess why lmao#so i dont really mind getting whoever whenever#maybe i should just start pulling randomly when im bored lmao#anyways aro argenti makes me happy :)#snow plays hsr#how many characters am i projecting onto in hsr? i think 4 at this point 3 _ 3#i tHINK.
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.
#how long can i keep my impulse control in tact before i cave and buy winds of anthos lmao#i have successfully staved off minekos night market but only becuase the reviews have leaned majorly towards bad#i will probably buy it if it ever gets very discounted lol but.....eeegh#a Shame bc i was really looking forward to it lol#woa is like.....a lot of the reviews are good with caveats#but currently i am Bored and when i am Bored my impulse control leaves with its bindle#also like. its monday. im too tired to find another way to tackle my Bored#buying a game and playing it is very easy#I've been thinking about replaying legends arceus but i cannot predict if i will get bored immediately bc ive already played it lol 😶🌫️#I literally do not have the attention span for games but i like games#like if i get bored of a game before i finish it thats the end i will never play it again lmao#paleo pines for example....i opened ariacotta canyon and then immediately my interest in the game died#faefarm also..... opened the volcano area and immediately got bored of the gameplay loop#don't even know what happened to Ryza 2 i just stopped playing and could never go back again lmao#all my attention span is relying on the scarvi dlc which probably wont be out until at least November 😶🌫️😶🌫️#and the hypothetical gen 5 remakes which could easily end up being shit 😭#aaaaaaaaaaa#i need more hobbies babes
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It's gotten harder and harder for me to even give a shit about art I iust dont want to fucking do it anymore
#not fallout#kal talks#like i dont want to quit quit but i need a break fr#its been so long since i wanted to do a project and then came out with a finished product that i felt really good about#like the kallista painting is good and i like it im just. idk#i just dont have any creative energy anymore#usually when this happens i get super frustrated and angry but im like idfk i dont even want to try ill iust sit on my phone#and watch youtube#its like im just bored with art#and i think its because i know i need to do studies and stuff and work on what makes me unhappy with it#but i iust dont want to#i definitely think part of it comes from like. doing art for a living?#because that is truly soul sucking#its exhausting#and it leaves no room for me to care about anything else in my life#fuck man i just need to schedule another therapy appointment lmao
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🦋
#i love it when im talking to someone&they make it super clear that they think im making shit up to impress them#bc it gives me the clear signal to actually start lying in the most boring way possible until i get bored&drop the situation lmao.#one of the most common ways this happens is when steam comes up&i mention that i killed two laptops w tf2#&whoever im talking to immediately starts to try to rip apart the logic bc theyve never had to experience the lovely trial#of trying to make a $125 notebook from walmart last for longer than four uses LMAO.#anyway im thinking about this bc i just gave up on trying to pull a revised draft from a laptop ive been trying to make work for months#that crashed the second i downloaded microsoft word&has been fighting me ever since LMAO#why does technology hate me so much. i break electronics by looking at them&vibing wrong like what the fuck. 😭#id go back to handwriting my drafts if that wasnt a guaranteed way to assure i will not edit them in any way at all LMAOOOO.
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I watched POI when it already finished airing so whenever I see someone said they watched it when it was still airing I went
Oh honey
Oh dear
Oh sweetie
You watched it live?? You watched 5x10 live?? Not knowing whats going to happen??? *Give you a hug*
I already know what was coming and still that episode left me heart broken just shattered emotionally (which is to say, also, that good writing can still make an impact even when the audience knows what's going to happen so take notes Marvel)
On another note, the 4x11 self-sacrifice lives in my head rent-free. "If you die die for something that you love" and "i'm a sociopath i dont have feelings" then she goes and kisses Root and saves them all I am on the floor bawling
the funny part is i saw bts photos from the finale that showed root and reese together and i naively thought, 'ok cool they still might die, but at least they survive until the end' and the writers really said Lol. but considering the type of show it was (and what happened to carter) and how dire things were going in s4-s5 i kinda prepared for character deaths leading up to the season. it left me numb and sad for a while, but i dont remember being extremely devastated about it. all the stuff we got with shaw dealing with it afterwards, however, that shit hurt bad. and unfortunately i love angst a lot (the writers were very good at writing sad stuff!)
my main complaint is that the death was so sudden and kinda anticlimatic (but i guess there has to be one of those to further stress how much their backs were against the wall). everyone else in the show gets a poetic death/sacrifice scene and in carter's case, at least she was killed by a significant villain in her arc and we're allowed to really feel the pain and consequences of her death, root gets taken out by a guy who started the job like two weeks ago and no time to mourn bc we're in a war Lol (and they had to rub salt in the wounds by showing us her for-sure dead body and telling us samaritan dug it up to get her implant, which while realistic, was brutal).
i feel like a lot of people talk about it as one of the worst writing decisions, but i can see why they chose to keep root's fate the same. yes, it sucked to losing a wlw character (especially when that was so close to clexa, if im not getting my times wrong), but i don't believe lgbt media should only be happy, soft stuff and that lgbt characters should be plot armor protected always. i still found a lot of meaning and emotion in the ending we got with shaw carrying on the work her team left behind with the machine and having some small piece of root to hold on to (and shaw being the only one next to fusco who never really had a lot of direct contact with the machine, getting the chance now to work closely with it and understand root more maybe that way). the show was always dealing with death/loss and grief and emphasizing how people still leave significant legacies behind and stay with us even if it's just the influence and impact they left on their surviving loved ones. i would still prefer if it had ended differently, but at least I could understand the message they were going for.
ill never stop loving 4x11 it's genuinely one of my favorite tv episodes ever. poi was very good at normalising shaw's apd and everything they did with shaw and especially what they did in the aftermath of that episode ripped me to shreds (her telling simulation root that she was her safe place and then telling real root she'd rather die than get them all killed, that made me totally normal). shaw getting the big emotional, meaningful moments in 4x11 (in the machine's simulation when she shows root one last act of kindness with 'maybe someday', the subway scene with the bomber, and of course the ending scene) was so important and well done. and root's slow-moed reactions at the end were gut-wrenching i must have rewatched that scene maybe 1000 times.
#asks#this got so long omg#not the sneak marvel diss LMAO#thank u for acknowledging poi has good writing i feel like i only hear negative comments about the writing after s5#and thank u for the hug im pretty sure i was like shaw just staring off into the distance in denial for a bit LMAO#i havent watched poi in years but i did love the show a lot#and i love root and shaw separately and together so goddamn much#in the song cool about it by boygenius theres a line thats like 'i took your medication to know what it's like#now i have to pretend i cant read your mind' or something and that came to mind when i thought about shaw and the machine#in my angst bag LOL#anyway it meant a lot to see shaw as the last survivor still in the game at the end like yes technically shaw is the hero she gets to live#this also reminds me of how everyone was fooled by all those happy kacy bts photos from 1x17 and 1x20#but were then crushed by what happened in those scenes meanwhile i was like poi prepared me for this you won't catch me slipping#and i enjoyed the angst thoroughly#also im not a marvel fan i got so bored during endgame i was mad that it was like 3 hrs long
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No greater disconnect than my brain thinking how much I love the life I get to have now vs my body saying it is depression time and we're making the sad hormones now
#personal#depression#**this is entirely exluding the current political dumpster im just talking about very personal stuff i can control part of life#ive been thinking a lot lately about how desperate i was at 16 to just survive long enough to get out and be able to breath#and how where im at is exactly what i dreamed of and honestly a little more because i never expected to be comfortably middle class#and ill tell people that my life is “boring and i like it that way” when i dont have a lot of updates to talk about#but what i really mean is that im at peace and content because all i ever wanted was to live without constant fear of being punished for be#being more than a robot and i got it and im so thankful for that#but yeah all those thoughts are happening at the same time as SAD and PMS and the annual holiday increase of my PTSD symptoms lmao#so its like “yes i am happy but also i need to nap for 10k years and for someone else to feed me because i will forget to eat”
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