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seventh-district · 1 month ago

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Could've left me just the way you found me, but you came and put your wings around me. You went out of your way, to fix what you didn't break.

This song is so incredibly Sam & Darlin' coded and no one can tell me otherwise.

[lots of lyrical analysis below the cut] [there's also a short little fanfic blurb of them stargazing down there too (this post got really out of hand lmao)]

For those not fully caught up, note that the following commentary contains various spoilers for Sam and Darlin's stories.

Note: Unfortunately this song is gendered, using the word 'girl' several times. Which sucks a little bit for immersion purposes, not only for keeping Darlin' gender-neutral, but also because I see this song as a duet between them, and Darlin' obviously wouldn't be addressing Sam with the word 'girl' either. So! As with most songs on their playlist, we're just gonna mentally omit any gendered terms we come across.

Side note: Frustratingly, this is one of those songs that didn't really even need to gender the subject in the first place. No part of the story or message is lost without it. But alas, many songs are like that, and so the playlist-makers of the world shall continue to suffer. [/lh]

Anyways, preamble's over. It's lyric time now yay!

Sam's Part

I was a ten-year train wreck

Technically for Sam I suppose it was 13 years, but ten is close enough (and 'ten' admittedly flows a lot better in the rhythm of the song than 'thirteen' would.) Anyways, we're not here to split hairs, (I have to remind myself), we're just here to point out similarities.

In Sam's Dec. '22 HBW, he says "For the last 13 years or so I haven't had to care too much about how I look. Seemed a little redundant after turnin', considerin' I didn't wanna be around much'a anybody anyway."

I think he's mentioned or alluded to that roughly 13 year period of time more than once, but that's the one I remember best so it's the example I'm using. There's still about 4 Sam audios I've yet to listen to as of making this post, so if I'm missing some Key Lore I'll edit this later. But for now, I don't think Sam has given many specifics on exactly how bad things got during that time. Luckily, 'train wreck' is a pretty broad and subjective term, so it easily covers any degree to which he may have fallen apart during those years.

It also feels like a very 'him' way of quickly brushing over the details of his past/his hurt, as he seems to tend to do with Darlin', (not all the time ofc but it's still something I've noticed) putting his own hurt on the backburner to prioritize and attend to theirs. Even outside of his dynamic with them, I think as a healer, it's something he learned to do. And now he does it with everyone. Put on a brave face, compartmentalize things and unpack them later, etc. I could go on and on but there'll be time for that in other posts I'm sure. For now, lets get back to the song at hand.

With a last-call longneck

Due to personal reasons, I've yet to decide if I want to HC him as having used alcohol as a coping mechanism during that time. I don't recall him having mentioned alcohol much, if at all, (maybe one mention of whiskey that I don't have time to find right now) so I don't think it's necessarily canon that he did, but it's certainly possible. My personal preferences aside, I'll admit it makes for some good additional angst. (And- self-indulgently- it makes some other songs on my playlist for them more fitting.) So, for the sake of this song, let's imagine that he did.

I was searchin', I'd been hurt real bad

This one feels pretty self-explanatory given what Alexis did, (and, if you wanna get even angstier with it, whatever his family did earlier on in his life) so there isn't much commentary to add on my end.

I HC that in spite of 'not wanting to be around anybody', he- like Darlin- still had a tiny part of himself buried deep down that was, in a way, 'searching' for someone to find solace in. (No this isn't me projecting onto them both haha what are you talking about-)

Movin' on, gettin' sidetracked One step forward and five back

This is generally applicable enough that I don't feel the need to give too much of a specific example. Anyone who's recovered or is recovering from trauma knows this non-linear, back-and-forth struggle well already, and I'm sure he was no stranger to it.

If I were to give some examples though, I could point to Darlin's (and subsequently, Sam's) encounter with Alexis at the summit, or the shit that Quinn dredged up about Fredrick and threw at Sam in the interrogation room. Those are both more recent examples and I imagine these lines of the song to be coming from a place of him prior to meeting Darlin', but still, they're some instances where I'm sure he felt like the past was pulling him back in. I'm sure that there's been many throughout those 13 years that we were never witness to.

Not your fault, I was scared to fall

This line reminds me of their 'Cuddles and Confessions' audio. I don't think he ever explicitly said he was 'scared' per se, so afaik there's no specific line I can quote, but in that and every audio prior, he was obviously hesitant to admit, perhaps even to himself, that he was gradually falling for them. Even after the initial confession, there's certain limits of his (e.g. biting) that he carries for far longer, and some that I (and others) HC that he'll carry forever. So this line feels to me like him reassuring Darlin' that his reluctance isn't the fault of them, but his past.

Darlin's Part

You were the star in the pitch black Shine the way on the way back

We don't have any canon instances of them comparing Sam to a star, but I can see it being something they'd say (perhaps less poetically, but the sentiment would be there) one night while laying up on their roof watching the stars with him. Maybe they're dead-tired, talking nonsense with lidded eyes at the end of a long day, fighting sleep in favor of more time spent with him.

"What- what're you pointin' at Darlin'?"

Their hazy focus is trained on the brightest star visible in their line of sight, arm stretched out to the sky above them. "That really bright one, to the... to the left."

Sam does his best to follow their less-than-specific directions of 'to the left', their pointed finger doing little to help given the difference in perspective. Luckily, after all these years, he knows this stretch of night sky like the back of his hand, so it isn't hard to locate the brightest one. Ghosting his fingers up along their arm, he takes their hand in his and brings it back down to earth. "Okay, yeah, I see it now. What about it though?"

"That's you." They say, matter-of-factly.

"That's me?" He questions, humor in his tone.

"Mhm." They nod with finality, blinking slow.

Sam considers the odd statement for a moment before gently correcting them. "I'm uh, I'm pretty sure that's Sirius, actually."

They scoff. "I am being serious."

Sam stifles a laugh into their hair. "No- no I mean- like... what's another name for it... Oh! It's also called the Dog Star."

"C'mon Sam, at least call it the Wolf Star if you're trying to turn this around on me..."

He shakes his head and readies himself to explain further, but they cut him off before he can start. "But no- no, this one isn't about me. That's you."

He decides to play along, finding something endearing in their overtired nonsense. "Okay... then would'ja be so kind as to explain to this confused old man just how, or why that star is me?"

Their frown is audible in their voice as they latch onto the wrong part of his sentence. "You're not old, Sam. ...Do I need to tell Asher to kick the jokes down a notch?"

He smiles at their over-protectivity. "There'll be no need for that, now. Was just a joke, darlin', I promise."

They huff, but thankfully shift focus back to the prior topic. "It's... I dunno. It's just you, Sam. It's... bright. Light. Something warm, out there in the cold dark. Standing out amongst all the rest. Calling to me, stealing my attention. I... I didn't come out here looking for it, but there it is. ...There you were. In the dark. The only bright thing I'd seen in... fuck, in years. Years of chasing fleeting warmth, tripping over myself in the pitch black, falling into... places 'n people I shouldn't have. You were the light in that darkness. Even there, surrounded by the ghost of him. You outshone it. Your warmth didn't hurt. I didn't have to squint when I looked at you. You weren't the blinding sun. You were the brightest star I'd ever seen. You guided me back home."

In the back of their mind, they recall something they once heard, something about light, and time, and distance. Space. Something about... how you can see a star that's already burnt out, because it's light hasn't reached earth yet. The ghost of a star that's already died. Only still perceptible thanks to time, and distance.

They remember Sam's words, once whispered to them on this very roof.

"Whatever your choice is... I'm not gonna live forever. I made that decision a long time ago."

They think about dead stars.

They think about time.

"...-lin'? Darlin'?" Sam's calloused hand slides up their forearm, pulling them out of their thoughts. "There you are. Think I lost ya' for a minute there... you good?"

They look up at Sam, concern creasing his features, shadows cast across his face from the light of the dying stars above him.

They reach out, pulling him down into them. Burying their face into his collar, Sam's concern grows when he feels it saturate with tears. A human might struggle to hear their words, muffled against the thick fabric, but his hearing catches it just fine.

"Don't burn out too quick. Please. I still need you here. I don't- I don't wanna be left in the dark again. Please, please Sam. Don't leave me here. I'm not selfish enough to ask you for forever, but please. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet."

.......Whoopsies! Really, genuinely didn't mean to improv an entire scene there, good god. Also didn't mean to swerve hard into angst at the end but uh. that's what came out! so I'm rolling with it lmao. Aaanyways let's move on, it's getting late and this is a song analysis post, not a fic.

Out of nowhere, answered all my prayers

'Out of nowhere' reminds me of Sam's words from the same HBW video I referenced earlier. "You came into my life like a damn wreckin' ball. There was no preparing for that, clothing or otherwise." While those were Sam's words, not Darlin's, I still feel like they feel similarly to how suddenly Sam came into their life as well. (Not in a bad way, mind you!)

[the significance of 'answered all my prayers' edges into my own personal more headcanon-y/personal/OC-ified Darlin' territory, so we can just gloss over this one for the sake of at least attempting to keep this more universally applicable]

Picked up the towel that I threw in Took in a heart that was ruined

Again, largely self-explanatory I feel. (*proceeds to explain anyways*) I imagine that Darlin' was at the point of throwing in the towel, hellbent on a solo-mission to find Quinn regardless of the danger it posed to them. I doubt they were looking toward the future anymore, (to reference Sam,) fully willing to throw themself at their problems until they really did break.

The specific use of 'ruined' hits hard here, because after everything they went through with Quinn, and especially after he recounted it all to Sam in that interrogation room, I imagine that they really, truly did feel ruined.

Showed me the past ain't a tattoo Loved me even when you didn't have to

These lines in particular make me sick with emotion every time I hear this song, because I feel like they hit the nail on the head for how Darlin' feels.

I'll be here citing various quotes all night that I feel showcase that sentiment, but we don't have time for that! So instead I'm just pointing to the entirety of 'Quinn's Aftermath' video, and leaving you with this single quote from it.

"Everything that he said reflects nothin' on you, and everything on him."

Equally Applicable Lines

And I don't know why Why you saw something in me, baby But you saw right through All the pain, and you came and saved me Yeah, I know you didn't leave me lonely Weren't the one that put the heartbreak on me Picked up the pieces It wasn't the mess that you made Could've left me just the way you found me But you came and put your wings around me You went out of your way To fix what you didn't break

Again, I think these lines are all pretty self-explanatory, and are just as accurate coming from either one of them. To me, at least, their entire dynamic is that they saved each other, in their own ways.

(But I will admit, the final verses about 'going out of your way to fix what you didn't break' are definitely conjuring up memories of Sam in the early days, literally going out of his way to visit and heal Darlin' after their fight with the two vamps. In general, his continued/repeated healing of them after they once again hurt themselves is the very literal definition of fixing what he didn't break.

But! While we may have more blatant examples of Sam being 'the fixer' so to speak, I think he'd argue that Darlin' has done plenty fixing of their own. Physical wounds aren't the only things that need healing, after all.)

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[shameless self-promo of my Sam & Darlin' playlist for those few of u interested enough to make it to the very end of this wall of text. if u liked this then u might like some of the other songs on there soooo maybe go check it out and maybe perhaps give it a follow so i can get a little serotonin boost or dopamine or whatever the chemical is that's released when Number Go Up. ...okay that's it i hope u enjoyed my fixation-induced ramblings! thank u and goodnight]

#redacted audio #redacted sam #redacted darlin #redacted playlists #redacted asmr #redactedverse #music stuff #Spotify #Seven's Blorbo Songs #<- starting a dedicated tag for these kinda posts bc i feel like there will be. Many more #gotta go dig up the few i've made in the past and retroactively tag them. they weren't as Involved as this one but i'll still include 'em #good fucking god this post got long. i started it at like 2pm and now it's almost 8. i've been locked in on blorbo analysis for 6 hours #don't ask why it took That long to make this post okay i am. very slow. but i had a good time so it's all good #there's like 10 other things i needed to spend my free time on today but this post Demanded to be made asap so here we are #i've been stewing on this song for several days since i found it and i literally had to make this post to get it out of my system #i was gonna make One Big Post to discuss the entire playlist at once but it's got 80+ songs on it by now...#and i like to Yap if u cannot tell so it literally wouldn't even all Fit in a single post. so i'll probably just do individual songs #or maybe a few per post if they all fit a certain theme and aren't enough to justify their own post #anyways i. am so very very very in love with Sam. if you. cannot tell. from the entirety of this post. and the state of my blog #about halfway thru this post i realized i perhaps should've just written a songfic but those take so much more effort and time #and i'm already editing two that'll come out later this month. with two more in the wings. so i can't afford to start another #(not Redacted fics btw sorry but in spite of the little drabble i did on this post i'm actually scared to write for this fandom)#i don't feel confident enough not to mischaracterize them. plus i'm already juggling more than i can handle anyways #anyways the drabble + this post in general probably isn't very good lmao i Should like. draft it and edit it tomorrow with fresh eyes #but i wanna go ahead and send it out into the world and just let it be. it's not that big of a deal

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soursherbat · 1 year ago

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Sensation; Chapter 3

Hold It In

To start from the beginning Click Here ; Previous chapter Click Here

A Springtrap x OC fanfic

Word Count; 2,903

I couldn't let him stay like this a moment longer, especially not while he was staying in my home. The awful people running that attraction may have been content to let him smell like mildew and rot in filth, but I refused to allow that to happen.

I’d been rummaging through my closet for a little bit now, going through old boxes trying to find my carpet cleaner to clean up this poor raggedy rabbit sitting sadly in my kitchen.

He looks so lost right now, every time I would look at him he’d just be staring off into space, probably trying to ground himself.

I could understand the struggle he was having. Nobody walks out of a situation like his unscathed. He seemed to be handling it better than I thought he would, I start to wonder if there’s anything I can do to soothe his nerves.

Well, cleaning his fur would definitely be a start. He seemed fidgety around water though, I’d need to be careful. I finally find something I can use to wash him off, pulling my old handheld steam cleaner from one of the dusty boxes.

It should work, I’d used it to clean my large stuffed animals that couldn’t be thrown in the washing machine. After pushing a stupid joke about whether or not Springtrap would be machine washable or not out of my mind, I put the box back and exit the small closet, closing the door as I turn back to Springtrap.

He’s staring at me, or... through me, it seems. His eyes slowly making their way up to mine, widening a bit when he realizes what he was doing. He simply looks away, and I couldn’t tell if he was embarrassed or not.

I don’t push it, simply filling the steamer with water and plugging it into the wall, sitting it on my kitchen table as we waited for it to heat up. I hoped it wouldn’t hurt him, though... would he even be able to feel me cleaning him?

It seemed like he responded to my touch on that first night when I’d attempted to push him away, and any time he saw my hands reach toward him he’d act like a sad kitten that was desperate to be pet.

I had to scrub the grime off of my hands after touching him the first time, so I wasn’t exactly ecstatic about the idea of petting him at the moment. Once his fur didn’t stick to my hands, then I’d be happy to give him any care he needed.

I especially understood his need for attention. I’d been living alone for so long, or with others but still incredibly isolated- I was desperate for someone to fill the void. The loneliness, the empty feeling... it had been getting to me lately.

I don’t realize that I’m now staring at him until he looks back at me, tilting his head curiously.

“Is there something on your mind?”

I chuckle sheepishly, casting my eyes down to the floor.

“Well... nothing, really. Just... happy to have someone else here with me.”

He seems shocked, his eyes wide as he processes my words. I barely even register that I’d said it, not even realizing how it might make him feel. I mean... he was definitely having a rough time, and to have someone show this much care and attention to him after decades of isolation must be jarring.

“Ah... sorry. Just not used to having a roommate.”

His face softens a bit, and he offers me a sympathetic smile.

“I’m not either.”

I can’t help but laugh a little, nodding at his statement. We were both out of our element here, it was going to be awkward at first. I’m sure neither of us were much for small talk.

He seems to be more alert when I talk to him, maybe it was just having something to listen to keeping him from dissociating as badly. I look at the steam cleaner, noticing that it’s started to steam a little bit.

I take it into my hand, standing in front of him with it in clear view. He’s sitting at eye level with me, my chair looking so small compared to him.

“I’m going to try to clean your fur with it now, okay? Just let me know if it’s uncomfortable.”

I give him a warning before I start to move my arm toward him, feeling a twinge of guilt when he flinches away from me, shaking his head slowly.

“No- no, no- Hawk, I can’t do this-”

I don’t stop until it’s pressed against his arm, and as he reaches for my wrist to stop me, he freezes. Nothing happens when I touch it to his grimy fur, aside from the water inside the steamer beginning to turn a deep shade of reddish-brown.

“Oh...”

He’s watching me curiously as I slowly move it down, the fur underneath it turning a golden shade of yellow. I knew this was a Spring Bonnie suit- but I’d honestly forgotten he wasn’t supposed to be green.

“That feels... lovely...”

He’s purring now, visibly relaxing against the back of the chair. He closes his eyes and lets out a sigh of contentment, forcing a smile from me.

He’s just so cute when he’s like this, he looks so calm right now. I look back down at what I’m doing, not wanting to accidentally shove the steamer into a hole and damage his internal workings further.

I’m feeling conflicted again. I knew I had attachment issues- specifically that I get overly attached very quickly... latching onto a person to feel less alone- but this felt different. It didn’t feel like mere infatuation, and it's scaring me so badly.

Could he feel the same way? Would he feel the same way, if I did ask him? And- if he said he did- would he just be telling me what I want to hear in fear of me throwing him out?

That last option makes my stomach twist into knots. I decided I’d keep it to myself- feeling stupid for even considering the notion. I mean, why would he want me anyway? I’m anxious and awkward, overly clingy and desperate for attention- not to mention the fact that I was openly terrified of him when we first met.

I felt my heart sink as I thought of that. Did he still think I was scared of him? I hope not- surely he knew that if I was going through such lengths for him that I had to care for him in some type of way.

I stop to consider how he might be feeling, wondering in the back of my mind if he’s having the same conflict that I am. He frets over me like a doting parent, but he was obviously apprehensive to let me close to him.

I knew he felt like a monster, likely struggling with feelings of self loathing and depreciation. I didn’t see him like that, though- and I was pretty sure he knew that. It was so hard to tell what he was thinking...

He’s enjoying having his fur deep cleaned, feeling the years of caked on blood and dirt wash away like nothing had happened in the first place. He stared at the darkening water inside the machine, an intense sensation of relief hitting him hard as the decades of filth was rinsed off.

This was real. I was real. He couldn’t believe that someone had seen him for what he was right now- and still had the kindness to take him out of that situation to give him a home. The fact that I was going this far to help him made his head spin.

Perhaps he wasn’t as incapable of moving forward as he thought. He might be able to do this, to live again... with me. The idea made him smile, feeling a strange sense of satisfaction when he considered it.

There was no way he could tell me about his complicated feelings. There’s no possibility in his head that I’d ever feel anything more than platonic for him- and honestly, as long as he got to be near me he was more than happy to just exist in my vicinity.

He wasn’t even sure if he really felt that way for me, or if it was just his emotions getting him in over his head and attaching himself to the first person who showed him positive attention.

Whatever he felt- whatever I felt for him- he just wanted the best for me. He wasn’t concerned for himself at this point, he trusted that my care for him would be more than he could ever ask for. But in my case? He worried that caring for an eight foot tall half-animatronic man might cause issues.

“Are... are you sure about this, Hawk?”

Springtrap’s words catch my attention, not realizing that I’d been spacing out as I was washing his fur. I look up at him, seeing the concern for me evident on his face.

“I don’t think I would have done any of this if I was unsure. Don’t worry about me.”

My answer seems to quell some of his anxieties, as he sits back in the chair once more, watching my hand move the steamer on the final patch of fur visible to me on his body.

“I’ll need you to stand up.”

He does as requested without protest, even turning around for me. Luckily I was able to get his shoulders with the first pass, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to reach them now.

We’re both silent as I do this, too caught up in our thoughts to speak any of them out loud. I still can’t tell what he’s thinking, his face was so surprisingly expressive- but he was hard to figure out.

It was likely the same struggle for him. My face had a stoicism to it that betrayed my internal feelings, a struggle I’d faced for as long as I could remember. Of course I could emote, and did so frequently- but my spacey nature made it difficult to discern my emotions from an outsider’s perspective most of the time.

“Hawk... thank you for this. I... I cannot fully express how much I appreciate it.”

He sounds so earnest, his polite formalities growing on me quickly. He was just so adorable, his sad little face and warbling voice drawing sympathy from me easily.

“You’re welcome... I’m glad it’s not uncomfortable.”

“This is the best I’ve felt in years.”

That tugs on my heartstrings even further. It fills me with joy to hear that, almost feeling bad when I have to turn off the steam cleaner.

“There we go... almost done. Please, sit- I need to get your face...”

He complies, while I empty out the disgustingly dirty water from the cleaner. It’s turned black- I can’t even imagine how he must feel now that all that caked on muck was gone. I get a soft rag and some conditioner, the only scent in my house being citrus.

Ah, well. It kinda fit him with his fur being yellow I suppose. I’d gotten the rag wet with warm water, and filled a small bowl for me to rinse it with. I applied a generous amount of conditioner, looking into his eyes as I held the soap covered rag in my hands.

“I’m... gonna have to hold your face. Tell me if you want me to stop...”

He simply nods- very eagerly, might I add- as I reach up and cup his face, holding him still as I gently scrub the grunge from his dirty fur. He’s looking away from me when I look him in the eye... but when I look away, I can swear I see him staring at me from the corner of my eye.

If he is, he’s very careful to look away when I focus back on him. Maybe he’s just embarrassed about it, but... there’s a lonely, desperate look in his eyes.

He’s trying to hide it with his smile, but I can see through it. I can recognize it- having seen it in my own face many times in the mirror.

It makes me curious. Is he looking at me? And- if so, why with that look? God- I wish I knew what he was thinking.

As I’m working on his face, I notice his eyes widen and his body visibly stiffen. I hear a small jingling noise, followed by a very soft ‘mew’ from the floor.

I look down, seeing that my cat Sunny has finally woken up and come to say hello. He’s purring and rubbing his body back and forth across Springtrap’s legs, probably enjoying the soft fur of the suit against his own.

“Aww... I think he likes you too.”

I realize what I’d said the moment it leaves my mouth. Springtrap obviously noticed too- his eyes snapping directly to mine, curiosity plainly displayed on his face.

He says nothing about it though, simply purring louder as my... our? Our cat shows him some affection. I try not to say anything stupid and make it worse, choosing silence instead as I rinse the rag and finish up cleaning his suit.

The cat probably thinks he’s just a large stuffed animal, as he’s not showing any aggression toward this towering machine now sitting in our kitchen. In fact, he jumps up onto Springtrap’s lap, meowing loudly as he begged to be pet.

“I think he’s jealous that you’re getting all of my attention.”

I chuckle softly, tossing the blackened rag into the bowl of soiled water. I run my hands through the fur of his face, making sure there was no more matting or tangled tufts of fur.

He’s closed his eyes again, his purring so intense I can hear loose metallic bits inside of him rattling against his chassis. Sunny begins to purr as well- and when I look down, I see that Springtrap is petting him very slowly. Likely afraid to hurt the small creature...

If I wasn’t endeared to this rabbit already, I certainly was now. The gentle care he showed this animal was so controlled and calm- I could tell he had been a cat person before his ordeal, from the way he handled him.

I pull my hands away from his face, though... it’s very reluctantly. I’m not sure if he picks up on that when he opens his eyes, looking disappointed that I’d stopped.

“I just need to wash my hands.”

He softens when he hears that. continuing to gently pet and scratch the eager feline happily laying in his lap. He looks down at Sunny, smiling when the cat rubs his cheeks hard enough against his ragged hand that its silly little face stretches a bit.

It... it feels humanizing, to have an animal approach him like he was just another person. He studies the creature, before perking up at the sound of my footsteps approaching.

“You don’t need to keep sitting there if you don’t want to, I can’t imagine that chair being comfortable for you.”

“... But, then I would have to move him.”

I feel like I’ve been shot through the heart. I just smile, reaching up and gently scratching behind Springtrap’s ears. The gesture earns me a pleasant little noise from him, obviously making him happy.

“He’s used to it, trust me. You can move him.”

He stays there, though- obviously not wanting to disturb the feline that’s now rolling around on his lap. He ends up jumping down by himself in the end, and I swear I see Springtrap’s ears droop sadly when he does.

I keep calling him Springtrap, but I know that’s not his name. I wondered if he might be more willing to tell it to me now that he was sure I wouldn’t judge him- but at the same time I wasn’t willing to push the issue.

He stands up, politely pushing in the chair he’d been sitting in. He then turns to me, a look on his face I can’t discern.

Before I can ask if he’s okay, I’m suddenly pulled up into a tight hug. It’s shockingly gentle- but it surprised me and made me panic. I push away instinctively, letting out a frightened gasp involuntarily as my face twists with horror.

He puts me down immediately, shrinking away from me like he’d just been shot. I immediately feel a knife twisting the feeling of guilt and regret into my heart, my lips pursing as I watch him immediately try to backpedal.

“I... I’m so sorry. I- I don’t-”

I cut him off with a hug in return, just barely able to fully wrap my arms around his body as I hold him against me, his fur now pleasant and soft to the touch. He’s obviously caught off guard, getting mixed signals from my reactions here.

“No... don’t- don’t apologize... I just...”

I can’t explain it to him. It’s still painful to dredge up those old memories, even with my desperation for human contact I was still terrified of being touched so suddenly.

“I just need a warning next time... not your fault.”

He exhales shakily, slowly wrapping his arms back around me. He has to lean over to hug me, reminding me of how tiny I am in his eyes.

“Of course... I apologize, Hawk-”

“You didn’t know.”

I don’t want to talk about it any further than that. We stand there quietly embracing each other for a long time, my face pressed firmly against his fur. He seems to understand my apprehension, dropping the issue entirely.

“Thank you, Hawk... I... I cannot repay your kindness.”

“You being here is more than enough.”

Next Chapter ->

#i should make a playlist of all the songs im naming these after lmao #this is named after a jukebox the ghost song that just. oof. its abt not holding in your feelings #g.txt #my fics #fnaf fanfic #fnaf au #fnaf springtrap #fnaf fandom #springtrap x oc #springtrap x self insert #springtrap fic #springtrap x hawk #springtrap

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