#lmao i feel like i need to include that just in case other people don't even want to hear about it anymore

[lucysarah-c]

Mounting Spring Ch. 1.

Summary: Paradis has opened its doors to the world, and the Rumbling has not yet occurred. The military board insists, "We need more Ackermans!" to avoid ruining Mikasa's life. Levi agrees. Arranged marriage, explicit consent, Omegaverse. Alpha! Levi x Omega! Y/N. Mentions of underage marriage but it doesn't happen, the reader is over 21. Age gap but they are both adults. (I would say enemys to lover but they don't even know eachother to be enemys lol.) Author note: I've had this idea for so long… Omegaverse is my guilty pleasure, and I decided to treat myself with it. From the creator of "Not in season?" I bring to you "Mounting Spring" lmao haha sorry it's just that my first omegaverse was rather a success… so I decided to do another.

MASTERLIST TO ALL THE OTHER PARTS.

Link to AO3 in case you prefer to read it there.

The papers were passed around the Military board members, each set handed off in tense silence. The room’s air had cooled quickly as the sun dipped below the horizon, making Levi’s coat, almost too heavy to bear earlier, feel suddenly necessary. The chill seeped through the old walls, hinting that a bit of heating might soon be in order. 

With methodical precision, Levi slammed the stack of reports against the wooden table to align them perfectly, every edge sharp and in place. He moved aside the sticky notes he’d scribbled on hours before, crossing off the last item on his to-do list with finality. Job done for the day— 

“Well, that’s it,” he muttered, eager to leave the stale room behind. 

A pointed clearing of someone’s throat halted him, making him glance up slowly. Levi’s senses flared; he wasn’t done after all. The tension thickened, and the air shifted to something more ominous. His gaze travelled around the table, landing on each board member’s face. Some looked uncomfortable, others entertained, as if they’d been anticipating this moment. Hange, seated beside him despite their role as Commander now, avoided his eye, their head lowered in apparent resignation. Recent meetings had seen the appearance of new, vaguely unsettling faces, like Kiyomi's, who now looked across the table with a subtle smile. 

“Captain,” Zackly’s voice rasped as he cleared his throat yet again. 

“The day’s agenda is finished,” Levi stated, irritation biting at his words. The official telegram had detailed the topics to be discussed, all of which they’d already addressed. Anything beyond that, he knew, was meant to be cleared with the entire board beforehand. 

“This was a last-minute matter,” a Military Police officer interjected, though the smirk twitching at his lips betrayed more amusement than urgency. 

“Captain,” Zackly called again, knitting his fingers together. “You know we’ve always valued your dedication to Paradis.” 

The pause was rehearsed, the words strangely formal, making Levi’s eyes narrow. “What the hell is going on?” cutting through the man’s attempt at civility. 

“Let the Commander finish,” Kiyomi insisted, her voice smooth and elegant, though tinged with a superiority that grated on him. 

“We wouldn’t have managed to retake Wall Maria without your bravery—” 

“A lot of people sacrificed themselves for that,” Levi replied sharply, cutting off the praise that felt, at best, patronizing. “Including the previous Commander, Erwin. No need to thank me.” 

“Nevertheless,” Zackly forged on, tiring of the interruptions, “without your skill, all those sacrifices might have been in vain. Not only did you dare to fight for Eren’s retrieval from the Female Titan and against the former tyrannical regime, but—” 

“It wasn’t just me. My squad and the brat over there were in it too.” 

The tone of the conversation was growing increasingly uneasy, the excessive praise no longer just annoying him but setting off alarms. 

“Quite right. You and Mikasa were essential in humanity’s progress,” Kiyomi added, eyeing Levi with a calculating gaze. As her look shifted back to Zackly, Levi’s own attention followed. 

“What we mean to say is… even if Paradis positions itself favourably in the new world, more capable individuals like you and Mikasa would be ideal assets for our success.” Zackly straightened in his chair, clearing his throat for the third time, making Levi wonder if the man needed water—or to finally give up smoking like a chimney. “Have you ever considered marriage, Captain?” 

The question hit him like a bucket of ice water. It was so absurd Levi could only scoff. “What?” 

“How old are you now?” Zackly continued, feigning casual curiosity. “Thirty-three? Thirty-four? A prime age, I’m sure. And for a high-breed alpha like you—” 

Behind him, low chuckles began to echo from the MPs, each one making Levi’s grip on the chair’s arm tighten. 

‘This is a trap.’ 

“Whatever it is you’re implying, I I suggest you rethink it,” Levi spat, the weight of their words starting to settle. 

“Let’s be frank,” Kiyomi leaned forward, hands placed firmly on the table. “Captain, we once thought the Ackermans extinct, only to discover Paradis has not one but two. Even Zeke couldn’t deny that meeting you at Shiganshina was... less than pleasant.” 

“Of course,” Levi replied dryly. “I beat that monkey’s ass.” 

“Exactly.” The dark-haired woman showed no amusement, her voice all business. “To the point, then: we intend to provide you with a suitable wife to ensure that you bless this island with as many Ackermans as she’s capable of bearing.” 

Levi shot to his feet. “You must be out of your damned mind if you think I’d agree to this. I’m not here to be used as a breeding tool.” 

“Oh, but you wouldn’t be the one doing the birthing,” an MP remarked with a smirk as the rest of the board broke their facades, amusement flashing in their eyes. All but Hange, who looked as if they might vanish into their seat. 

“You’re insane,” Levi snarled, preparing to leave, feeling insulted to his core. “You can use Historia as your political pawn as much as you want, but I’m not some 17-year-old girl at your disposal—” 

“Think of it as a service to your country,” Zackly replied coolly. 

“I serve this island every damned day,” Levi snapped, baring his teeth. With a sharp slap, he pressed his papers against the table and strode toward the door, signaling his utter rejection of the idea. 

“If you won’t consider it…” Kiyomi's calm, piercing voice halted him at the door, the threat clear. “Then we’ll turn to the only other Ackerman left.” 

Levi stilled, staring at the golden knob in his hand, fury boiling in his veins. He wasn’t about to fall for this. 

“Mikasa is too valuable to be reduced to a broodmare.” 

“She’s a girl of duty,” Kiyomi replied, a note of satisfaction in her voice. “Something you seem to lack. And she’s an alpha. I’m certain she could bear at least one healthy child before returning to the battlefield.” 

Levi clicked his tongue, pushing open the door with disdain. ‘Who the hell do they think I am?’ Hands stuffed in the pockets of his coat, he stormed down the royal city’s military headquarters hallways, curses slipping from his lips. The whole idea was absurd; they’d lost their minds if they thought he’d even consider it. 

As Levi stormed down the dim corridor, every step sharp and swift, he couldn’t shake the rancor rising within him. The brazenness of it all, to drag him into their twisted ambitions with such flippant disregard for his will—and then to threaten Mikasa. The audacity alone made his fists clench. 

He barely noticed Hange keeping pace with him until their arm was outstretched, catching him by the shoulder. 

“Levi,” Hange began softly. Their usual spark was subdued, gaze serious, and voice almost apologetic. “I know you’re furious. I knew this would be hell to hear, but I didn’t know how else to—” 

“Save it.” Levi shrugged their hand off, glowering. “You knew, didn’t you? That they were going to bring this shit up?” 

Hange hissed, as if asking them to confessed was almost painful. “Yes… I knew.” 

Levi gritted his teeth, eyes dark with betrayal. “You agreed to this?” Both of them whispering on the empty cold halls of the building.  

“I… didn’t agree,” Hange answered carefully. “But I was there when the discussion happened. Look, Zackly and the others—” Hange hesitated, running a hand through their hair. “They’re dead set on this idea. They think they’re planning for a stronger Paradis, and if they think that means Ackerman bloodlines—” 

“Save the speech.” Levi’s tone was sharp. “They can be dead set on whatever they please, but I'd like to see them drag the entire MP battalion if they want to force me into this.” 

The past year had hardly been easy on either of them, especially Hange with their new title as Commander. Levi was well aware of this—yet the sense of betrayal cut deep. “For fuck’s sake, Hange, you could’ve warned me.” 

A tense silence hung between them, until Hange finally sighed and adjusted their glasses, pressing on the bridge of their nose. “You think I had a say in this? Kiyomi's paying for the entire coastal expansion and the railway. She thought it was a decent idea, and with her money backing it, she’s got the final word on everything.” 

Levi clicked his tongue, crossing his arms in exasperation. “Those bastards in the upper ranks are just itching to get on my last nerve since we changed the policies.” 

“Look, I know it sounds—insane. But maybe… if we don’t try to protect the future of the island, there won’t be one. And if there’s a way to keep the Ackerman bloodline alive, maybe there’s value in that…” 

“Don’t give me that bloodline nonsense.” Levi’s tone was ice-cold, his gaze sharp. “This is some harebrained scheme they’ve cooked up. And let me guess: it reeks of Zeke. That bearded bastard’s across the ocean, and he’s still screwing with my life.” 

Hange pressed their lips together, saying nothing. The silence was confirmation enough. 

“That son of a bitch,” Levi cursed under his breath. “He’s the one with royal blood, not me.” 

Hange’s lips twitched in something close to sympathy. 

“Well, since you two are such good friends these days, feel free to let him know he can kiss my ass.” 

“Levi…” Hange sighed, not because they disagreed but because Levi’s sense of betrayal cut both ways. They were the last two left of the original veterans—family in all but name. It wasn’t just an argument; it felt like a wound between them. 

Convincing Levi? Impossible. But convincing her? That possibility hung in the air, lingering like a storm on the horizon. Levi paced with conviction at first, then with dread. They both knew it, and, worse, Zeke likely knew it too. Mikasa had just turned seventeen, still almost a child, recently visited by someone claiming kinship with her clan. Levi couldn’t care less about all the ancestral politics, but he was all too aware of how they worked. 

“You can choose whoever you wish for the father,” they had told her, as if it was some generous offer. And, step by step, he watched Mikasa’s face transform from disgust to something akin to acceptance. Perhaps it was because she, too, held a certain pedigree; perhaps she felt duty-bound. He didn’t know, and he didn’t care what methods they used to sway her. 

‘She’s smarter than that,’ he tried to tell himself. 

But then he overheard Historia, almost childishly enthusiastic, whispering to Mikasa, “See? I told you—we’re girls with responsibilities.” The blood drained from his face. If they’d managed to convince Historia, to make her some kind of pawn in their twisted ambitions, what was stopping them from pulling Mikasa down the same path? 

‘It’s disgusting,’ he thought bitterly. ‘Maybe this is how those classist bastards operate. They talk little girls into this like they’re just trading dolls for something more ‘exciting.’’ 

That night, back in his office, Levi was a restless storm, pacing the room with his suit jacket hanging loose, fingers curled around his glass of whiskey, his movements sharp and frustrated. The glow of his cigarette flared in the dark room as he took a deep drag, gritting his teeth. 

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” 

Slouched in his chair, forearm draped over his eyes, his mind circled back to Mikasa’s hesitant, almost innocent blush—her teenage imagination painting a faint, rosy tint over whatever twisted future she thought she might face. And in his mind, as if staring him down, were Eren’s haunted eyes, that deadened look of someone who already knew more than he could say. Maybe the brat already knew Levi wouldn’t let it happen. 

“She’s a damn kid,” he muttered. The thought of Mikasa shouldering this burden felt like a betrayal of his own values. 

Though technically, she was not much younger than many girls who’d borne children before. But this felt different, disturbing— He let out a humourless chuckle, as a man that waits for getting hang. “Those bastards knew… I wouldn’t let them ruin her life like that.” 

And like a cursed prophecy that tightened its grip the more one tried to escape it, Levi found himself back in that same damned office, slouched in his chair as if seated at a poker table. Bargaining his future. 

Levi sat stiffly across from the military board, his expression a blend of frustration and disgust as they spoke. Zackly lounged in his chair, lazily smoking as the other officials presented folders adorned with detailed painted portraits, lists of family properties, and who knows what else. As they laid the offers on the table, a random thought clouded Levi’s mind: It feels like searching for a button that matches at the notions store. 

He was reminded of long strips of fabric with various buttons sewn onto them, each one a potential fit. “Many of the noble families are eager to show their loyalty to the new government,” one officer stated with a practiced calmness. “Some have offered up alliances in exchange for the return of their territories and titles. This includes a number of unclaimed young omegas. You’ll have ample choices.” 

Levi’s jaw clenched. He knew they expected him to appear grateful for the options lined up before him, as if he were selecting a new weapon. Instead, he leaned back, crossing his arms tightly. “I’ll be imposing some conditions.” 

They paused, exchanging glances. “Naturally, Captain,” one of the men replied, steepling his fingers. 

“No fancy bullshit,” Levi declared. “The wedding will be plain. Just a civil ceremony. I have no intention of making a spectacle out of this.” 

The room fell silent, the officers exchanging looks that spoke volumes. One of them cleared his throat, hesitating before responding. “Captain, you should consider—” 

“I’m not considering anything,” Levi interrupted, his tone sharper than before. “This is a plain arrangement, and it will remain exactly that. I don’t need fanfare or ceremonies—just a quiet signing of papers.” 

The officers shifted uncomfortably, their discomfort palpable as they struggled to reconcile Levi’s cold practicality with their expectations. “Think of the girl. Many young omegas dream of their wedding day, waiting for it their whole lives. It’s—” a female alpha soldier attempted to be the voice of reason, but Levi was clearly listening to none of it. 

“No buts,” Levi said, his patience wearing thin. “If I’m going to go through with this ridiculous arrangement, it will be on my terms. I’m not dragging this girl through some overblown ceremony when neither of us wants to be there.” 

With a loud sigh, Levi lifted himself slightly from his seat to grab the portfolios. He barely looked at them, frowning deeply. “Don’t you have pictures where they look— I don’t know—human?” he spat out sarcastically, noting how overly produced their painted portraits appeared. 

“That’s what’s in fashion,” one officer muttered defensively. 

Groaning in disinterest, Levi rolled his eyes. “Nobles and their weird tastes.” But as he turned the next page to examine the descriptions, it was as if the world had tilted off its axis. “Sixteen,” he muttered, irritation creeping into his voice. He looked up, venom lacing his words. “You’re offering me sixteen-year-old girls? Girls who could be my damn daughters?” 

“It’s common, you know—” 

“I don’t care what’s common. Twenty-five,” Levi interjected. “At least twenty-five. I’m not getting tied to a child.” 

“Come on,” an exhausted soldier exclaimed, “some are seventeen, eighteen—” 

“Twenty-five,” Levi snapped, his eyes blazing. “I’m not interested in any of this unless you bring me someone who isn’t still in their childhood.” 

“Be realistic,” Zackly finally spoke up, looking weary and disinterested. “How many omegas do you know that aren’t claimed by twenty-five?” 

“Fuck if I know; that’s your job to find out, not mine.” Levi’s anger flared, echoing in the sterile room. “Weren’t you the one telling me to think of the girl? Don’t you think of her?” 

“Why? Are you planning on hurting her?” Zackly questioned, raising an eyebrow. 

“Fuck no.” 

“Then I’m not concerned. Choose one and stop being a pain in the ass.” 

It was clear they were not going to reach any middle ground like this. Amid the hastily scribbled notes, he noticed a name: Y/N, age twenty-one. He pointed decisively at the line, cutting through the cacophony of voices. “That one.” 

There was no picture, no description—nothing. Perhaps it should have raised suspicions, but Levi was too tired for this cheap drama. 

“Why her?” one member scoffed, glancing at the paper. “We have better offers on the table.” 

Levi didn’t hesitate. “She’s the oldest.” He placed both hands on the table, pushing himself upward. He had made up his mind the night before; he just needed this to be over. Striding toward the door, he exited without allowing anyone to stop him. As he walked out of the conference room, he could hear the murmurs behind him. 

As the door shut firmly, one of the cadets held the papers against his chest, confusion written all over his face. Slowly, he turned to the higher-ranking officer. “Shouldn’t we tell him that she’s scheduled to marry this weekend to her childhood fiancé?” 

Zackly chuckled, flicking the ashes from his cigarette into the ashtray. Between coughs, he said, “Oh well, he can find out from her once they’re both married. It’s no longer my problem.” 

Link to my masterlist and my other works if you feel like checking them out. Tags!: @nube55 @justkon @notgoodforlife @nmlkys @humanitys-strongest-bamf @quillinhand @thoreeo @darkstarlight82 @aomi04 @levisbrat25 @fxnnyackerman @secretmoneybearvoid @trashblackrainbow @l3visthighs @hannieslovebot @flxrartsstuff @feelingsandemotionsnotexplored @starrylevi @rithty @mariaace @ackrmntea @emilyyyy-08 @levisfavoriteteashop @katestrophes @katharinasdiaryy @ackermanswifee @levistealeaf @an-ever-angry-bi @youre-ackermine @searriously @blackdxggr @storiesofsung @abiatackerman @braunsbabe @moonchild-angel @galactict3a @lemonsupernova @hyuckwon-my-husbands @heyitsd1yaa @sydneyyuu @love-for-faeries-go-burrrr @mandaax @sugacor3 @r0ckst4rjk @vegetasgirl2799 @catiwinky @pinksaiyans @sparklykeylime Wanna join my tag list? Here!

[crippleprophet]

let me open by saying I Know How This Sounds (fem whose undergraduate chemistry professor recommended ze take turmeric to cure zyr arthritis, etc) so no hard feelings if you keep scrolling, but hopefully folks who know me know i'm speaking honestly about my experiences, even if those don't end up being the same for other people. so!

2 Tbsp of a common kitchen spice is doing as much or more to manage my ME/CFS as any of my meds or self-medicating drugs

@lakeeffectbitch outlines a way of trying this with a control in their reddit post (link); i just went directly to the one they thought might work so i'll put my experiences & the science/theory behind this under a cut for folks who want to avoid potential placebo effect :)

i'll get more specific about this in the "spoilers" but please be aware, especially folks with diabetes or other blood sugar conditions, that this substance may cause a blood sugar drop. it's less likely at this dose but probably keep a sugary snack on hand just in case

if you experience post-exertional malaise & want to try this but don't have spare money to spend on spices feel free to dm me & i'll see if i can help!

my experience:

i took 2 Tbsp ground sumac mixed with warm water on February 11. i tried taking it with a straw first because that's what my colonoscopy prep had said would make that go down easier but because the sumac particles were so big they didn't want to remain suspended & trying to get them in the straw was difficult, which then made it harder to swallow without, yknow, noticing that you're slurping down sediment

what worked better was getting the powder wet, putting a big clump of it on my tongue, then swallowing it with water like a pill

within about half an hour of taking the sumac it was like my fatigue just faded around me where i stood. it dissolved to the background & when i thought "oh i want to do this" or "i should do that" suddenly i found myself just doing it. i had spent the past week at least bedridden except for the bathroom, & though i took the sumac on a better day, i'd been planning to return to bed with a snack after taking it.

instead, i made myself lunch, and i sat on the couch to eat it. all of this was without taking an edible that day; usually i've gotta take at least 25mg delta 8 + 25mg cbd to even consider sitting on the couch. also, it was storming.

from my write-up the day of: "everything felt very sharp & clear & lucid." i washed the dishes from my lunch. all of these activities were about 2 hours, & at that point i emphatically needed a nap. waking up felt like after taking a muscle relaxer & sleeping: my muscles were more relaxed, & my whole body felt like it'd gotten a bit of a break

i've taken sumac at least 8 times since then on at least 5 different days (this time by modifying this sumac tart recipe to include a lot of sumac powder in the crust, which has been much more enjoyable than the Glass O' Sediment lmao) & adjusting for factors like weather, the effect has been comparable every time:

i watched Inception on the couch with my husband, & understood when she explained things to me

i watched leverage on the couch all day when it was below freezing

i worked a bit on fanfics i've barely been able to touch in a year

i "meal prepped" measuring spices, gathering ingredients, & soaking beans to make beans & rice in the instant pot later that day. i literally can't remember the last time i was able to use my instant pot, after thinking about it i think it was when i made palak paneer last summer, but that was a one-off special occasion thing, i've used it maybe 3 other times since developing ME

i wrote this post

the science:

okay a lot of this shit was over my head before i developed ME so i'm gonna be summarizing at my level lol, look to @lakeeffectbitch for a higher-level analysis

but what i do know! (all images from "The malic acid inhibiting inflammation in ankylosing spondylitis by interfering M1 macrophage polarization" by Ji et al., January 2025)

sumac contains high levels of malic acid, which is found in certain fruits (apples, peaches, etc)

the drugs.com page classifies malic acid as an inactive ingredient, so there are no known drug interactions

mice with ankylosing spondylitis had lower levels of peripheral malic acid than control mice

ID: bar graph showing mice with AS had about 0.03 micromoles per milliliter of peripheral malic acid, compared to the control mice level of over 0.2 micromoles per milliliter. the difference is labeled significant via asterisks. end ID

mice with higher malic acid concentrations had lower ESR and CRP (inflammation markers)

ID: two graphs showing lines with a downward slope. the top graph, ESR versus malic acid concentration, is labeled: r=-0.6802, 95% confidence interval =-0.8843 – -0.2578, p=-0.0053. the graph shows ESR, an inflammation marker, decreasing as malic acid concentration increases. the bottom graph, CRP versus malic acid concentration, is labeled: r=-0.6068, 95% confidence interval =-0.8537 – -0.1371, p=-0.0165. the graph shows CRP, an inflammation marker, decreasing as malic acid concentration increases. end ID

mice treated with malic acid had lower levels of TNF-alpha than the mice with untreated ankylosing spondylitis. humira & similar biologics that treat autoimmune diseases are TNF-alpha blockers

ID: a bar graph of relative mRNA expression of TNF-alpha. M0, the control mice, has a relative expression of 1. M1, the mice with ankylosing spondylitis that did not receive treatment, has a relative expression of slightly less than 4.5. M1+MA, the mice with ankylosing spondylitis who received the malic acid treatment, has a relative expression slightly less than 3. this indicates that the mice treated with malic acid had lower expression of TNF-alpha than the untreated mice. asterisks between M0 and M1 and between M1 and M1+MA indicate significance. end ID

the mitochondrial function of M2 macrophages in mice treated with malic acid "was significantly enhanced"

analysis of the mice's spinal tissue blew my fucking socks off. trying not to jump to conclusions & i know journal articles are full of errors but that looks potentially disease-modifying.

ID: a 5x3 presentation of samples of mouse spinal tissue. the control mice, which are healthy, have thick, undamaged, glowing tissue. the mice with ankylosing spondylitis have thin, curved, cracked-looking tissue. the mice treated with celecoxib, a common prescription NSAID for arthritis, appear very similar to the untreated mice. the mice treated with 250mg/kg of malic acid per day have tissue in between the untreated and healthy appearances; the tissue is "glowing" like the healthy tissue but still narrower and curved, although less so than the untreated tissue. the mice treated with 500mg/kg of malic acid per day have tissue which looks even closer to the healthy appearance, with less curvature than the other treatment groups. end ID

since i started drafting this post i've started taking these malic acid supplements from Nature's Life – the full dose made me feel weird including some heartburn so i cut the capsules & take roughly 2/3 – 3/4 of it at a time (i drop the rest into a spare pill jar to make more doses from). it's been similarly effective for me

please be aware that the supplement instructions say to only take it once a day, i haven't had any issues but everybody is different & this avenue is definitely under-researched! (the mice were given 250mg/kg per day which for me would be like 27 grams but i am not a mouse lol)

[kromato]

Hey what's up it's me with a special interest in weapons and I wanted to share my thoughts about Nikto's machete (no that's not an innuendo for once)

Had a bit of a solo-mandela effect going on because for the longest time I thought it had a modified 'billhook'-like feature on the back of it for whatever reason (but smaller than what would be considered a traditional billhook, more like a hoof pick blade).

I kind of enjoy still HCing that it does have it because a) it looks kind of cool and b) a terrifying thought to think this man whips this giant intimidating blade out, flips it deftly in his hand to the hook side, just to sink it into flesh and yank people back in when they try to run. Also it allows me to think about a scenario where, resident karambit knife enthusiast Sebastian Krueger, can teach proper blade hooking techniques to our beloved plural man. Anyway back to the knife - It's like a cross between a coup coup and a bola? But has a cool flare like a Tapanga for his newer mwiii model. Also like a vintage Senegalese french machete, which were known for their high quality (might technically be the same thing as the coup coup, just with the locale specified I think, both entrenchment machetes). That curve also kind of reminds me of parangs but it's not particularly drop-pointed.

I HC Nikto as a very brutally pragmatic but particular man, so it doesn't feel too far off to think that he went out of his way to acquire something niche like that. Some kind of custom-made machete that fits his needs just right. The length of it, as well as the curved, ergonomic grip makes me think he's gotten it to do some serious chopping, so it's also probably heavy and weighted forward to make that easier when swinging. I don't see him as a flashy fighter personally, and though maybe it was a stylistic choice for the game devs/artists, I think it's a neat feature that speaks to his character. I do think it's made of hefty steel; weight is important in chopping knives, and though steel rusts, it's sturdy compared to a lot of other metals. Not to mention - I feel like oiling and caring for his weapons, machete included, would be a ritual source of peace for his sometimes loud and chaotic mind. Grounding when he can feel the weight and texture where his nerves aren't completely damaged, smell the oil, have tangible proof that it's reality when he sees the maintained blade even after he becomes unmoored.

Now this is just me WAY reading too much into it, but it gives me a little giggle - The hole at the end of the handle is for a wrist lanyard, so you can loop a piece of paracord rope to secure it around your hand. It's an important safety feature just in case the machete goes flying out of your hand while chopping, lest it hit people in your vicinity (accidentally...?). In his 19 model, he doesn't have the paracord rope attached; Nikto says "Fuck your safety" but also huge ego of "I would never accidentally fling my knife!!"

Could also be because it gets caught on stuff if it dangles off his hip though - he's got one on his newer model where he wears the blade on his shoulder, which looks like a place where it's less likely to snag on things. Could also be because he's been increasingly featured in larger factions, so he works with more people and was asked to have one on hand maybe?? I don't know. In either case the knot in the middle of the rope makes it too small for his wrist which could also be read as a passive-aggressive "Here's the fucking safety rope it's on there ALRIGHT" and yet he's also made it nonfunctional for its intended purpose lmao Okay that's all byeeee

[nothorses]

I hope this is okay to ask but I’m pretty desperate and googling stuff has failed me, so do you or one of your followers have recommendations on how to deal with the BO that comes with taking testosterone? I never had BO that couldn’t just be managed by showering enough and putting on just any deodorant but now that I’m taking T I sweat a lot and I smell bad and I nothing I do seems to fix it. My boss has politely mentioned it several times now despite all my effort and it’s so mortifying and embarrassing.

Things I’ve tried and am currently doing include so many different deodorants which I bring to work and reapply, putting baking powder in my shoes, on top of general basic hygiene. But none of it seems to make a dent and it doesn’t help that I can’t really change clothes or shoes throughout the day. I have to wear closed toed shoes and a lab coat and my job is pretty active, plus it’s 10 minutes walk from the parking lot and it’s over 100F or 40 C right now so when I arrive at work I’m already pouring sweat. I also have a large chest so it all gets under my bra and soaks into it and by the end of the day the bottom part of my bra reeks.

I know some ocasional BO on a busy day can’t be helped but none of the other people at work including other male coworkers seem to have the same issue at all, so there’s got to be a solution but I haven’t found it. Im thinking of trying antiperspirants but I also know I need to sweat and I would rather not put my health at risk. So if anyone has something that works for them please let me know bc im really desperate here.

First I want to say: you're not doing anything wrong. You probably just sweat more than some other folks, and that's not your fault, and you shouldn't feel bad about it. I'm gonna give you some ideas to try if you haven't yet, but I don't know how much you've already tried, and it sounds like you've been through a lot already.

I also have always had terrible BO, and the only thing that helped at all pre-T was "prescription strength" deodorant. I honestly have had less of an issue since starting T, weirdly enough, but part of that is also that I physically cannot stand to shower any less frequently than every single morning (not necessarily a good thing lol), and I also started using antibacterial products on my armpits when I shower.

Currently I use benzoyl peroxide body wash on my armpits, which can be drying, but it hasn't caused me issues so far (just look for Panoxyl, other brands have caused irritation for me and my partner both). I used Betadine surgical scrub before that for a bit (you collect weird shit when you work with horses ��‍♂️) and that worked well, too- plus it's less likely to irritate skin.

I also find that certain shirts cause me to sweat there more, and those also tend to be the more form-fitting shirts that get up into my armpits. That skin def needs to breathe.

My partner has had trouble with feet/shoes in the past, and he's used cedar shoeforms to mitigate that (cedar is also antibacterial!). He also makes sure any shoes he gets are breathable (not leather), and if they are leather, he gives them at least a day or two between wears. Probably good practice if you notice any kind of smell on any of your shoes.

You mention baking powder, and I'm not sure if you meant baking soda and just mixed them up (which I do all the time lmao) but just in case: if you are using baking powder, the one you want is baking soda.

I don't have much advice for chest sweat, except that you may want to consider bringing an extra bra (and maybe an extra pair of socks if you're noticing it before the end of the day) to change into midway through the day. You can also look for more breathable fabrics in general, especially athletic-wear, which is already designed to help wick sweat and mitigate those issues.

Lastly, I want to stress again that you're not doing anything wrong. Some people have more trouble with this than others, and if you're really struggling in a way nobody around you is, it may be that you've got something going on in your body that they don't have to deal with. This could be a medical thing as well (like acne!!), and there's no shame in seeking medical solutions for it. Talk to your doctor if you can; it sounds like it's causing you distress, and you deserve to be comfortable.

[midnight-mourning]

❄️MIDNIGHT'S DCA DECEMBER❄️

Hello! I've decided to have a little bit of fun this December and will be opening up requests for the month! Please see below for more details (With subheadings!):

Requests Overall

I will have 31 slots available for requests, first come, first serve. Each piece will range from 1000-2000 words in length and may (MAY) include a little doodle made by me.

Requests can be anything! They just have to be winter/holdiay themed (do NOT have to be releated to Christmas) and DCA-related

Winter/holiday themed means movies/stories too! Ex: i am a BIG fan of The Nutcracker (went insane when I saw @/robinette-green's au for the Barbie version lmao)

As most know I am an X reader writer, but as long as my general request rules are followed, I don't mind writing for ocs, canon, etc. 

For those who don't know my rules, no nsfw (suggestive is FINE), and if you want something specific, be specific. Besides that, it's fair game, request what you want

Potential Issues & Schedule

If there is overlap between request ideas, they will be combined in some manner of speaking (if possible). If needed, I will reach out to you about adjusting ideas or the likes, though I don't forsee this happening. This would occur if for example, someone wants gift shopping with Sun with their oc, and someone else wants the same thing with a reader-insert. Whoever requested second would be who I reach out to. 

I will be posting these throughout December, ending on the 31st

In order to have enough time to write, I will be starting these as soon as I get the first request. To speed things up a little, requests will be open from 11/29 to 12/13 OR until I receive 31 unique requests. So that's maximum two weeks to think of an idea and share it with me. 

If I don't get enough overall or get anything prior to Dec. 1 I'll probably come up with some ideas of my own, but only if that happens! Additionally, if I don't get enough, I may open it up for people to request multiple times, again only if I don't get enough or run out of ideas (genuinely don't know how many I should expect so just trying to cover my bases lol)

To keep things organized, please request in the comments of this post. This also helps to potentially keep from overlap in requests, as you'll be able to see what else has already been requested. If you request in my ask box or such it'll make things a bit more difficult, so please avoid that.

HOWEVER, there is one exception to the above, which is if you wish to request anonymously, which is completely fine to do! But please only request in my ask box if you want to be anonymous. If overlap happens in that case, then y'all may just get two responses with similar vibes on the same day (essentially a bonus lol)

Confused Spirit

For those who may be concerned (as I was before making this post lmao) Confused Spirit's schedule will not be affected by this! Now that it's back I'd like it to stay back lol. We may stick to an every two weeks schedule for a bit, or may go back to weekly, it will depend on life stuff, not on other writing things. I promise ^_^

Having little things like these also help prevent writers block, and thus stay more consistent with updates

Sharing & More

Please feel free to share this post around, and request if you want to! Once I hit 31 unique ones I'll reblog this post with the announcement that requests are closed, so make sure to double check they aren't closed already prior to requesting!

I'll also post updates every couple of days regarding the status of total requests as well ^_^

Unrelated but similar, @/quilteddreams is working on a DCA Advent Calendar for December that's also really cool! (I'm helping out with beta reading :D) Highly reccommend you check it out once it starts posting! 

Everything related to this will be under the tag #MM dca December, just in case there's another similar tag out there and I'm not just taking it for myself

Alright, that's all for now, excited to see what you guys ask for!

Adding the tag list to this since y'all enjoy my writing lol:

@scarletcowboy @beemyhuneybee @fishm0ther @deviouscrackers @elsajoyagent8

@luckyyyduckyyy @zenkaiankoku @jogimote @local-shrub @amarynthian-chronicles

@robinette-green @everlightreader @sinister-sincerely @starredeclipse @dangerva

@juukai

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for not making any of my characters, that I have to crank out daily, pansexual/polysexual/omnisexual specifically and only making them bi?

🏳️‍🌈👶🏼 so i can recognize this later lmao also I'm not panphobic or anything, this isn't about the validity of the label, pan is fine.

So i (20snb bi) have a project I'm working on where I take all the characters from a specifc media I'm into and pair them up with each other to make every possible ship kid from every possible ship(excluding characters who are kids themselves or are related or something, that shit is gross). Basically taking every character and pairing them up with another and creating a kid I think they'd have. Its a big project with lots of characters and I'm easily over 400 at this point. I really enjoy this, even if I'm not even 25% complete.

However I set a schedule for myself that at least one ship kid needs to come out each day which, considering I draw them, color them and give them some development and some even have siblings, (The refs themselves easily take me an hour to an hour and a half) I have to make lots of them quickly to keep up with my daily grind. I've been doing this project for over a year and although it's stressful, I can get them out quickly with breaks for myself.

Their character sheets all have some pretty basic info like their name, gender, pronouns, personality and more but it also includes their sexuality/orientation. I have a pretty basic list of options for what their sexuality will be: straight, lesbian, gay, Enbian, bi, Aro, ace and aroace with a few random things like polyam, WLW and a good amount of the something-loving-something/juvelic terms. I did this because, well, there's not many entirely unique orientations outside of them and although I love mogai/xenogenders and complex identities, I dont want to potentially drag up discourse or bring problems to my budding art blog over it. Its just not worth it to me to turn something I really care about on its head, even if I like microlabels.

In this case, I'm using bi as an umbrella term as most of the other terms share the same definition with slight variations in wording or action but not much difference in practice. We all like everyone, it's basic stuff. However, apparently this is a problem.

I've gotten one or two anons asking me questions about my guides asking some kind stuff like is this lesbian ship kid a butch or femme or Is this picture of them now or just at the age you put on the ref and other harmless stuff. Then things got rude with some Nbphobia but thrice now I've gotten asks:

1. Asking snarkily if im a panphobe

2. insulting me for not specifically writing pan or Omni and just writing bi.

3. Saying that I "clearly dont care about pansexual representation." Then brought up how my primary oc is native american so i clearly care about representation but that oc used to be a sona and I'm native?? Its confusing. (And Lowkey racist shit to just assume any native character is a "diversity quota" character instead of just a person existing but I digress-)

Im not pan, im bi so ig these people assume I'm not cool with pan people which isnt true? I have nothing aginest them, they are just pretty similar and I dont feel like it matters if they are specfically bi or pan or poly or any other label. I don't go into details like that for any other sub-group, not even pronouns and I included combinations and some common Neopronouns. I understand the importance of representation but my project has less than 50 people looking at it every day, Im not netflix or something. I'm one guy on the most LGBT blogging site with a big project and very little audience, I'm not showing people who wouldn't already know what pan is that pansexuality exists.

This project isn't that deep considering the characters in question aren't human/dont have human characteristics.(no it's not hazbin/helluva) Also ive never spoken about lgbt discourse or stated anything remotely close to it beyond the guides just passively having characters who are an LGBT identity. I've not even mentioned all the potentional orientations they could have so I'm not sure where/why this came up in the first place. The most politcial things ive said are calling out a creator in my fandom who outed themselves as a transphobe and mentioning im pro-palestine. That's it.

I mean this is pretty low stakes, I can just block these people and be done with it and this some seriously online shit but I just wanna check.

Am I being an asshole for just writing bi instead of specifying their mspec label because I have to produce characters quickly and I don't see enough of a difference to warrant a change/specification that would ultimately slow and clog an already stressful and complex project?

I dont think I am but idk lol

What are these acronyms?

[skitskatdacat63]

"From triumph to failure is but one step."

+ the usual

I love when I can include paper sketches in the process gif. It's very satisfying to see it progress from a very vague imagining of what was in my head to the finished project.

+ version without text

My favorite sketch was definitely the one where I actually put in words what it's supposed to convey. I wouldn't usually write that down, cause it's all in my head, but it was useful to do so when sending it to other people. I'll go into it more but here it is just as a teaser:

Lmao first of all, I like how I was teasing "Spanish GP" art, but as per usual, it's just thinly veiled au art. IM SORRY, I'M NOT INTERESTED IN MAKING GENERAL POSTERS, THAT'S NO FUN! So instead you will get weirdly relevant matador au art. I like it a lot though, I was really shocked I was able to draw 3 different Fernandos, I mean even drawing one figure takes a lot out of me, but this was weirdly easy?? I think it's just the effect of not being burnt out anymore, and actually being able to draw with more ease makes me feel like a god.

Okay, so the text: "Fight or Flight?" I'll be honest, I don't even remember why I chose it, literally came to me in a vision 😭 But I think it's fitting with the narrative of this piece. Is it better to keep going on, keep fighting, or better to finally give up, and flee? Not that I even remotely think he should give up, but I feel like sometimes I can sense him pondering this very question. That was the big fear before he announced that he re-signed. Keep fighting and maybe, just maybe, you'll get the chance to finally go up against the bull again. Or accept it's an uphill battle and the fighting is going to keep getting more and more strenous, and maybe it's time to put down the sword. SORRY THIS IS SO ANGSTY FOR WHAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE "yayyyy home race!!!" Please forgive me <3

I. Renault

At some point, someone pointed out to me that I had drawn all other iterations of matador Fernando with a sword, except for Renault Fernando, and that ended up feeling very poignant to me. In a bull fighting match, they really only pull out the sword at the last minute to deliver the killing blow. So I think it's important to never draw this Fernando with a sword, because it shows the unfailing confidence and stability he has at that point. He only needs to pull out the sword at the end, as a formality almost, there's no reason for him to keep his guard up at all times.

II. Ferrari

Meanwhile this Fernando, he's considering his sword like he hasn't had to in the past. He's checking the sharpness, making sure in advance he can do what needs to be done. He's on guard, he feels like he needs to keep up his defenses at all times because he doesn't have that same amount of trust and stability anymore. He knows though he will be up against the (red) bull, at least that's never in question. At least there's the assurance he'll get the chance to fight.

III. Aston

Oh, Aston Fernando....He doesn't know whether to take up his sword or finally put it down for the last time. While at least Ferrari Fernando knows he's on constant guard against the bull, this Fernando doesn't even have that assurance anymore. He feels like he can never put down the sword, just in case he gets the chance to strike the killing blow on the bull, which feels like it's growing more and more unlikely.

Spanish flag: ? Lmao this was meant to be something to celebrate Fernando's home race and it turned very introspective whoops. Also got the Napoleon quote in there hahaha, can't escape it!! Shame though there is no French gp anymore, if so I'd probably draw an unhinged thing for it :,(

[teruwasright]

Ok I'm finally gonna post on my gut feelings about the next chps (including this months one)

Ok I know it's a scratch BUT I have a tiny gut feeling Teru's gonna make another appearance- again I KNOW this is a stretch and I'm not betting on it BUT I'm gonna post it anyway JUST IN CASE IM RIGHT.

I have a tiny gut feeling Teru might appear again to make sure Nene doesn't fail-

I know that the sunflower trio is definitely cooked BUT it could be possible that what Teru did to The Red House could give them an opportunity to get out and meet up with Nene-

Or at least one of them- and it could be Teru...

The grief and anger he's feeling rn has resulted in VERY intense power outputs from him- we've NEVER seen this kind of output from Teru and it's INSANE.

Teru has no reason to hold back rn bc if he does he quite literally has EVERYTHING to lose- he made sure Nene got out of there and that definitely could be as far as his help goes (bc again I know this is a stretch)

But if this kind of output continues from him I wouldn't be surprised at all if we see him come and help Nene bc if she fails Teru loses EVERYTHING...they all do but with his recent lose he's graving the absolute most rn and that could turn into his greatest motivation to make sure Nene succeeds.

Another point is Nene is absolutely defenseless rn...Nene has shown to handle herself well on her own but against The Red House? Absolutely not...I'm 100% curtain that The Red House is gonna follow her to the School more specifically Tsukasa.

Tsukasa is ABSOLUTELY gonna make an appearance again probably honestly this chp-

Tsukasa said he wanted to see Nene again he can absolutely go to the School (ty random person on TikTok for pointing out Tsukasa said he wanted to see Nene again 🙏)

I definitely think Tsukasa is going to make an appearance in the School (definitely the most likely)

But what about some other little things that could happen?

Like maybe him?

He's our last lead with Amane- Nene still needs to know what happened to Amane and Tsukasa to try and figure out what changed- that's why they went to The Red House in the first place and OBVIOUSLY she's CAN'T go back there especially after Teru made that last effort to get her out so who better then Tsushigomori?

He's ALWAYS been a supernatural (or at least he died WAYYY long ago) so technically he shouldn't have been messed with by the Clook Keepers at all? And I KNOW everyone says every arc is gonna be his BUT I feel like he's gonna play a role in this arc-

If he still has his library and still has his powers (he's just not a Mystery anymore) then he would be our best shot LITERALLY.

His power and his books weren't talked about a lot and we still know so little about him, his books and more specifically the "Red Books" what are they?

We never got an answer to that question...

I feel like this arc would be perfect for him but I'm not gonna get my hopes up- but I DO feel like it makes sense why he would make an appearance and even maybe play a role in this arc and he quite literally would be the PERFECT lead for what has changed in the current timeline

Another possibility is the broadcasting club-

We haven't seen them at all yet so it could be possible they could make an appearance but I'm not to hopeful about this one-

Idk I'm just posting some speculations before the new chp comes out and am quite literally just brain dumping lmao

Idk what do yall think are some possibilities for the next few chps?

Idk how possible it is but it would be low-key super cool if Nene and Teru teamed up to save this timeline and get the old one back and I think it would be super interesting to see them work together

And as a huge Tsushigomori fan I would absolutely LOVE to see him play a big role in this arc and I feel like this arc of all of the ones we've had makes the most sense for him to play a bigger role

Idk again just speculating so don't try and argue with people in the reblogs plz- and no saying "that will never happen" either bc it's just speculation and it's fun to share ideas of what could happen regardless of how "posable" it is so be nice ok ^^

What are yalls out of the box little ideas that you think might happen? Or would be cool to happen for the next few chps? These are mine so I'm curious what some of yalls are!

[xx-k4nd1-1n-cyb3rsp4c3-xx]

Your opinions on tone indicators can be a sign you have some internalised ableism to process. /srs

If you follow me you might have seen I was part of a reblog chain where I was calling out what I believe to be internalised ableism against autistic people, from someone who's also autistic, who's blog I used to follow. I'm going to delete it I think, because the conversation didn't go anywhere. I'm going to include screenshots here, as a jumping off point for an issue I've noticed ever since the popularisation of tone indicators.

If you don't know, these are tone indicators:

They're a system for conveying tone through text, you add them to the end of your sentence to show how you meant it to come across.

They're 99% used online, and mostly by neurodivergent people. This has made them gain a reputation for being "chronically online cringe." This is cringe culture. This is "this is bad because it's weird." Unfortunately, things can often become "cringe" due to their association with marginalised people, and I don't think this is an exception. I fully believe tone indicators are only as hated as they are because of their association with neurodivergence. And as autistic people we are often primed to play into this! An autistic person is almost more likely to fall into this mindset because of not wanting to be "one of THOSE autistic people." Marginalised people often fall into the trap of finding a "lesser" kind of person to feel superior to, the same way their oppressors feel about them, as a source of validation.

So if you're reading this post as a neurodivergent person, I want you to question what any negative feelings you have about tone indicators might say about how you view other autistic people, most likely people with higher support needs to you or with different needs to you.

Before we get into the screenshots I want to talk about, I want to go through a small list of valid criticisms of tone indicators:

"They're overly complicated!" Yes, they kind of are. You can probably find an infinite amount of them. You can make up your own. Keeping track of what all of them mean can be difficult.

"I don't want to memorise what they all mean!" Completely fair. Especially when you have memory issues or a learning disability. But if you're just not bothered, that's fine too. What I will say, is that you've likely already learned so much internet slang and abbreviations and acronyms that this really isn't any different. I'd watch out for ableism in the fact that you might've learned what things like "TTYL," "BTW" or "LMAO" mean, and likely know hundreds more similar examples, but you aren't willing to learn what these abbreviations mean. I'd just question why if I were you.

"They're ineffective!" Yes. Many people are not familiar with this system. It's relatively niche. What good is it to a neurodivergent person if someone's using a tone indication system they're completely unfamiliar with? Miscommunication will happen regardless if that's the case.

"The abbreviations already mean something else!" True. This can be confusing. But it's usually clear from context what they mean. Sometimes context is hard for people, so I completely get this as a reason for you not to like or use them. But it's still very much possible to grasp that "nm I found it!" means "never mind I found it" and "could you please pick up your laundry from the floor? /nm" is the "not mad" tone indicator.

"There are better systems!" There are! Some people just don't abbreviate the tags. Some people like the parentheses system (tumblr meme). Some people just elaborate with more context. I personally favour tone indicators because they're just faster to type.

Now for some screenshots. I am censoring URLs for a reason. Do not seek out anyone involved to harass them. Sending a random internet user hate mail for disagreeing with you will never be productive. I do not condone harassment. This is not a personal attack on anyone involved.

this is the original post. I responded to. Here's my response.

I definitely think I could have worded this better. This was very in the heat of the moment. I assumed this person was not autistic themselves since I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume ignorance over malice. I couldn't quite believe "you really need to work on yourself" could be a response from an autistic person to a common symptom of our condition: not understanding sarcasm or tone in general.

I didn't think I had to explain why this is ableist. But as the reblog chain played out they refused to acknowledge this at all, and that was very disappointing to me. I think it highlights a wider trend of lower support needs autistic people often minimising the struggles of higher support needs autistic people because they don't experience those struggles themselves. Autism is such a broad spectrum. There are autistic experiences you will never understand. You have to accept that there are people like you who's lives you will never be able to relate to, even when they have the same diagnosis (including self diagnosis) as you. In a way, it's understandable, because neurotypicals often use the caricature of a higher support needs autistic person to bully us. But you have to realise, those people actually exist. People who are non verbal exist. People with extreme sensory issues exist. People overwhelmingly hyperfixated on weird or disturbing things exist. People who cannot socially interact normally exist. People who's stims are "embarrassing" exist. For every stereotypical autistic person you can think of, however malicious the caricature is, there is a real person out there who has similar traits and faces struggles you have never known because of it. So to you, "not understanding sarcasm" is a harmful autistic stereotype, which it can be, but many many autistic people face this real struggle. I get it, you've spent your whole life running from this stereotype, but you can't throw the people who actually have that struggle under the bus for your own validation.

The next reply and my response. I will repeat, being autistic yourself does not make you immune to being ableist.

now this is where this conversation stopped having any hope of being productive. You can personally find this system infantilising. Those are valid feelings, and a valid reason to not like or use this system for yourself. But nowhere did I ever demand people to use this system. Especially not in this reblog chain. You would have to really dig and cherry pick to find examples of people demanding everyone to adopt this system, I won't say they don't exist because they do, but they're by far not the majority of tone indicator users, and they're not an excuse to talk about them with ableist language.

What I find really insensitive here, is the comparison of people who like tone indicators to dogs... blatant dehumanisation of autistic people, BY AN AUTISTIC PERSON. I refuse to accept that this is OK, that this is not ableist. If that's how they personally make you feel, that's valid, but this is being said in a discussion about how calling them useless and unnecessary as a whole is not OK! How do you expect other autistic people who use tone indicators to feel upon reading that?!

And lastly... I believe this last point is comparable to victim blaming. As I said in my response, we all have a story about how we asked a genuine question with no malice and had a neurotypical blow up at us for being rude. Why do you think we wouldn't want to start asking questions to clarify?! Like no, I'm not saying you shouldn't advocate for yourself, I'm saying starting fights over miscommunications constantly in your everyday life is exhausting and not worth it! This can be traumatising, or retrigger old trauma. I don't like this implication that if an autistic person doesn't understand something and doesn't ask for a clarification, whatever happens after is their fault and they don't deserve grace for it, when we literally all have a story of asking the wrong question at the wrong time and getting treated horribly for it. Is it really so bad for us to just want systems to avoid the misunderstanding in the first place rather than having to constantly go through this anxiety inducing experience of asking for clarification and not knowing if this is going to spark some kind of huge conflict?

I want to go through an ask this person received after this interaction.

I'm not a helpless permanent victim. I'm using tools that make my life easier. What about anything I've said suggests that? And sometimes, believe it or not, people are victims of ableism. Yeah, it hurts to be reduced to that. I hate it too. But denial isn't going to help. Especially not for higher support needs autistic people who have it way worse than we do. You growing up autistic in the 90s is not an excuse for holding on to the ableism for higher support needs autistic people that was so prevelent at that time.

I think these replies from someone else really get to the heart of it.

Acknowledging that you are disabled and that you have different needs to most people is not infantilising. Me finding tone indicators helpful is not infantilising myself. I think this just reveals that you view higher supports needs autistic people through an infantalised lens.

I really really just want to encourage everyone to find understanding for the disabled people who aren't like you. To not use your own issues as an excuse to turn your self hatred onto us. I am not an animal or a self imposed helpless victim because I choose to acknowledge my disability and find tools to manage it, even when those aren't the right tools for you. ESPECIALLY if you're lower support needs, I want you to genuinely have a think about whether or not your feelings around tone indicators show you have deeper issues to address about how you view other autistic people. For some reason this is what snags most people's internalised ableism and gets them to make unhinged comments like these when normally they are decent people who view other autistic people with compassion.

[moretheta]

my personal thoughts below the cut:

gonna say no to benjamin, personally. partially because i trust longhi's judgement on the matter, but mostly because it just would not make sense to go to such lengths for a person who is already at the top. all beyond would need to do was stack up the military and let benjamin's connections do the rest of the work. also, not very interesting story wise (would be kind of insane if nasubi's firstborn wasn't even his own lmao). 1/10

camilla actually has a lot going for her as a candidate. i think the fact that she already has curse users on her side speaks for itself- i could see beyond being the one to put that into place. everything we know about camilla makes it seem like she's not someone who's much into planning or relying on others. on the other hand, she would undoubtably be tough to control- not good for making beyond's puppet king dreams come true. i also saw someone say she bears a similar mentality to (isaac) netero and beyond: namely, a selfish pursuit of her own interests, and the will to do absolutely anything to accomplish them. 7/10

zhang lei: i'm already 90% sure he's meant to be the son of onior longbao, so he's really not a top candidate. not to mention the idea of him being such a senior prince who doesn't know nen or is surrounded by other competant people who know nen doesn't make me feel like he's being supported by beyond behind the scenes. 1/10

i'm hearing a lot of tserriednich talk, mostly due to his resemblance (debatable) to young netero and his vast nen potential. personally i'm not convinced: i think beyond would have put more defensive countermeasures into protecting his child; including, say... a loyal retinue of guards!? like if tserriednich wasn't such a monster at nen he would be dead right now. all of his guards seem either indifferent, scared, enjoy the way he enables violence, or actively plotting to kill him. not a whole lot of loyalty. also.... it would be kind of boring story-wise IMO. like he's already got so much going on, it makes the world feel kinda small. 4/10

i don't really see tubeppa as them either, mostly for the same reasons as zhang lei ; a senior prince who was never taught nen / or is guarded by skilled nen users? unlikely. although it would be a moment of supreme dramatic irony for longhi to have to kill her own prince. 3/10

tyson: kind of a dark horse candidate tbh. we also know so little about her!! and also, by extension, her faction. maybe there's a hidden nen user amongst her guards? i kinda wanna see it, mostly to watch her get roped further into the story. since kurapika already has eyes on her via izunavi, i've kind of been waiting for the moment she becomes more relevant to the plot. not to mention the fact that she and beyond both have cult leader vibes (or in beyond's case, are directly inspired by a cult leader). 6/10

i'm 90% sure luzurus is brocco li's son (same deal as ike zhang lei). but we know as little about him as we do tyson (although he is slowly becoming more relevant) so possibly the brocco li thing is a red herring? it's weird that he doesn't have any guards who know nen, but we also haven't seen enough of his faction to be a 100% certain of that... idk, i'm still gonna say 2/10

salé-salé: dead. 0/10

halkenburg: unlikely IMO, especially after 403. i think having TWO secret parents would be kind of overkill. i also think that, considering how much insight we've gotten into his own thoughts, that he would never bring up beyond or the hunter association or anything. 2/10

kacho: dead- but i give it a 1/10 in case of the twin thing.

i could see a world in which kacho and fugetsu are revealed to not really be twins (they do look completely different) but i think it's odd for her to be so unprotected and defenseless right now. beyond seems like the time to have more of a plan in place to defend his kids. could be interesting story wise, but... i'm not buying it. 3/10

momoze: dead. 0/10

marayam: this one makes sense to me. although he's a bit on the younger side, which means that beyond was a little late on the jump when it came to siring a prince, his youth does make him the perfect target for a bit of fatherly manipulation. and it would make sense for him not to know nen, because he's not really old enough to learn (unless beyond awakened him as a baby?) although even in that case we haven't gotten explicit confirmation (i.e. him or another charcater outright stating it) that he doesn't know nen. and there's something to be said about him having a super powerful spirit guardian beast that keeps growing... and yet, we've yet to see it's parasitic nature reflected in marayam's behavior. kid must either have a MASSIVE pool of aura or his nen beast is just built different. that also might explain why sevanti was so desperate to protect him. 8.5/10

woble: to be honest, the best case i've heard for woble is that silent majority was sent to PROTECT her by beyond (or someone in the hunter association). yes, it disrupted kurapika's nen class, but it's possible the assassin just disasgreed with kurapika's methods. so far, all of the people it's taken out have either been woble's enemies, or had the potential to be enemies. it speaks to this idea of a third party trying to assist a prince. there;s also the idea that perhaps woble's nen beast hasn't shown up yet because it might be a giveaway to beyond's identity, and for the same reasons as maryam it would explain why she doesn'st know nen. also, we already have a confimed beyond spy on her team: bill ( love you bill, i don't think you want to hurt the baby- but maybe you're being manipulated without knowing it). on the other hand, the fact that oito seems completely unaware of beyond's plan speaks to her either lying (unlikely IMO, i just didn't get that vibe from the panel) or she.. didn't know. which is terrible in it's own way but also definitely something he would do. from a story perspective, it would turn longhi into an enemy, which would be sad, but good potential for drama. 8/10

other: i think everything going for woble goes just as well for oito. we don't know exacly how old she is, but considering the fact that beyond is probably older than he looks it's safe to say it isn't completely impossible. on the other hand, there is the fact that she's from meteor city.. and the middle child of five. perhaps she was planted there for her own safety, until it came time for her to meet the king? i also wouldn't put it beyond nasubi to have struck a deal with beyond. and i also think it's possible that she has no idea who her father is, and beyond kept her in the dark so as to better control her, but positioned people around her as protection. also, it would be cool. 8/10

[pico-farad]

I absolutely love your Vrains analyses and I honestly can't wait for you to reach season 3.

I was wondering what you thought of the character of Spectre? Out of the whole cast, he's the one I really can't pinpoint how I feel about. (Beside the obvious fact that this kid needs therapy, I know they all do, but THIS ONE REALLY DOES.)

To be honest... Spectre is just really funny to me LMAO

My guy was raised by a tree. As a BABY. No food, no water, no body heat. There's probably ants crawling all over him. The tree scares away wolves who try to eat him, because they're probably like Oh shit, did that tree just fucking move???

This is peak Yugioh. Who put this Giving Tree-ass backstory into a hard sci-fi card game anime? Give them a raise. Where is Spectre's tree mom going on the Yugioh parent tier list?

Besides the funniness of staying connected to tree mom through card games, I like his Sunavalon deck. The Spectre vs. Lightning duel fucking ruled. From a gameplay perspective, it's one of the best in all of Yugioh. The reverse extra link? Stealing Judgment Arrows? This duel goes incredibly hard for no reason and definitely made me like Spectre more.

So yeah, those are my prevailing thoughts on Spectre, he's just not very important in my mind. If I were to take a more in-depth look at him, though...

I actually disagree with the premise that all of the kids need therapy, but I especially disagree that Spectre especially needs therapy. It's pretty explicit in the text, that Spectre is better off because of the Lost Incident.

Yusaku: If you endured the same hell as me-- Spectre: Hell? What do you mean? Am I different? I guess so, from your point of view Spectre: I grew up in an orphanage. I lacked the ability to mingle with others. Even among people, I was always bored and alone. That's when that incident occurred. Finally, I was entertained. Yusaku: The Lost Incident entertained you? Spectre: Yes, I enjoyed it. Even if I could go home, loneliness and boredom awaited me. Nobody would talk to me. Nobody cared about me. But it was different in that room. Someone was testing me. Someone expected big things from me. When I realized that, I felt the will to live for the first time. Spectre: You probably can't understand. Because if the incident hurt you, you must have led a happy life before. Yusaku: You don't hate the Knights of Hanoi? Spectre: Hate? Revolver-sama gave me a place to belong. Am I strange? But I think you're stranger, loudly proclaiming your sense of justice. Yusaku: Due to that incident, time has stopped moving for me. Spectre: But due to that incident, it started moving for me.

Spectre is characterized as someone who's fundamentally different from other people (maybe because he was RAISED BY A TREE), and this is the case long before getting kidnapped. He's not crazy because of the Lost Incident, and he might not even be crazy at all. He has what he wants, he's happy, he's just happy in a way that normal people, including the audience, cannot understand.

In the above conversation, Spectre is very aware of how he is strange to others, questioning multiple times, "Am I different?" "Am I strange?" Despite being unlike others, he has the capacity to understand how others think and live, and because of that, how they see him. He's actually very discerning, in general, about the perspectives of others; this is how he's able to manipulate Aoi in their duel, and how he easily recognizes Lightning's secret.

Because that's one way of coping with a world of people very different from you -- getting very good at understanding people who would not put forth the same energy to try and understand you. That's what happens in that conversation with Yusaku. Spectre is able to recognize that he is strange to Yusaku, and why. Even though to him, Yusaku is the one who's strange. But he doesn't say that either of them is "right," just that they have different perspectives.

Now, is all of that what the Vrains writers were thinking when they made him?

Uh, maybe I'm just cold and dead inside, but I think they mostly just wanted to make their antagonist seem like a crazy psycho who believes he was raised by a tree and enjoyed getting kidnapped.

Because if I were writing a story about a character who feels alienated by what other people consider normal, I don't think I would have gone the route of, "Some people actually enjoy trauma! It makes them feel important!" I mean, you could incorporate that into a story about how different people experience trauma differently, but, I dunno, these would not be my first choices if I was trying to write a nuanced character exploration.

I also would not go the route of dedicating his entire life to Revolver, and if I did, I would actually develop their relationship.

I wish Revolver had more of a relationship with the Knights of Hanoi in general, which could have actually fleshed out his character. All of them, including Spectre, are just loyal yes-men who do whatever he says. Any scene with them may as well be Revolver monologuing by himself, because they don't bring anything of their own to the table. It just makes both Revolver and the Knights less interesting to me. 

There's various other areas in which Spectre could have been better utilized too. Like I said in the Aoi post, it would have been interesting if they actually built on the themes explored in that duel, and had some recurring interactions. I also would have liked to see him actually interact with Earth, and his actual perspective on the Ignis and the AI vs. humans conflict. 

To be honest though, not every character in Yugioh has to be a main character. So while all these things may be interesting to explore in theory, I think Spectre is mostly fine the way he is in canon: funny tree man.

[tsunael]

I've just gotten back into gposing lately and always *love* how artistically you pose and capture your screenshots. I'm curious if you use a particular GShade/ReShade preset that is publicly available that you'd be willing to share? If it is one that you made/edited yourself, then wow! No pressure, of course - please don't feel like you need to share!

weaghhhh thank you nhaama 😭

I never make my own presets and I'll always be happy to share any resources that I can. Only [redacted]s gatekeep. I might have played around with values contained in said presets over time but at this point I've fucked with them so much it would be impossible to share that.

I'm just going to copy and paste from an ask I got a few months ago because nothing has changed haha:

Nearly all of my presets are from Elva. She's got one for every mood and I cannot recommend her enough because she's a cool person too. She also has readable previews and tests on other skin tones other than white paper lmao.

My personal favorites are her Twin(k) Peaks, Empathy, and Paradise sets. Still obsessed with the twink peaks one I use it every time.

I used to use some sims 4 presets by @/pictureamoebae here. Especially their money and milk preset. They make my pc chug a bit but they're unique in the way most FFXIV presets aren't.

Lastly, kyren and nyeps for their cinematic presets which I feel like are a staple-- but I'm including anyway in case people don't know them.

I should also say that I use martymods IMMERSE, RTGI and relight. I've used it for so long that I forgot to mention in my last ask. It doesn't come with reshade iirc but elva's presets have options for them.

I'm not the best with reshade issues but let me know if you need help!

[gyusimp]

Hey Gyusimp a question if you were to confess to Gyutaro how exactly would you do it and what would you say? If you want to you could include how he may react to it

°•Love confession for Gyutarō•°

What would I say to the love of my life if I had to confess my love to him? I made a promise to never confess my feelings to anyone again after a couple of accidents but without a doubt this man is the total exception.

I will leave aside the superficial flattery because I think it is more convenient to think about conquering Gyutaro in deeper and more emotional ways. It's an important issue to let him know that he is completely beautiful in my eyes but maybe I would mention it later.

I don't know if he would be completely open to listening to me since it would depend a lot on which Gyutaro it is (Canon or fanon) but in any case I think I would choose to write him a letter because it would make me too nervous and maybe I would end up ruining my opportunity.

I would tell him everything I think about him, from insignificant details to more serious things. Personally, I feel quite identified with Gyutaro and I think that finding several similarities of him and his past with Daki in myself and my own past with my sister made me have a different connection with him. It almost suddenly became my official comfort character.

I see a lot of myself in him and I completely understand all the love he feels for Daki/Ume, both his helplessness at not being able to save her and stuff. A very important weight falls on you if you choose to be a good older sibling and I think we both agree with that.

I would tell him that he is so amazing, smart and brave, that he has always been cool and worthy of respect since he was human. That perhaps he has never had the opportunity to love (besides Ume) and be loved and that it would be an honor for me to be able to give him all my unconditional love in the purest and most honest way.

I would love to be that safe place for him when he feels like everything is falling apart and nothing is going right. I know that maybe other people treated him badly throughout his life and judged him wrongly making him have to create this idea that he is bad and raised Ume in a wrong way because after all, he always gave his best. That I feel proud of him and all his achievements to be able to move forward even when the only way to do so was to sacrifice his humanity and that of his sister to offer her a second chance.

He is a determined man, I love every part of him and embrace all his possible insecurities for him. I would let him know that when he is with me no one can do or say anything bad to him (even if he is the strongest and most dangerous demon after Muzan Kibutsuji).

I would tell him that I am not afraid of him, I see a protective person in him who would do anything for those he loves and that shows how big his heart is even after having transformed into a demon. I like his strength and how he fights for what he wants until he gets it, I like his way of joking and his great and imposing style, always showing who's boss.

My heart and mind keep thinking about him constantly and the happiness that the simple fact of being able to hug him and make him feel truly loved would bring me. Letting him know that having him would make me feel like all my problems would just fade away.

I have a lot more to say but I don't want to make this question so long lol. Thank you very much for this question, it was interesting and different, fun to answer! Actually, I have an exercise in my writing class at university about writing a letter to a fictional character, there is no need for me to think about who I will write it to lmao so if I end up liking the result I could share one here part of it (or all? I don't know) Thanks for your question!

[dead-boys-club]

You characterize everyone really great! Except Touya don't you think you write him a little too expressive? it just doesn't seem very fitting.

I'm not sure if I should say thank you or...

So, I'm not going to do what I did with Hawks and write you a whole book ( i lied ) on why I write Toya the way I do. However, I'll give a little piece:

Dabi was a mysterious, sarcastic jackass. Dabi was a cover. A persona. He didn't exist. He was built to mask intentions until Toya got where he needed and wanted to be. It's very simple.

Toya, on the other hand, in case no one's noticed is very emotional, very expressive and talks waaay too fucking much. I mean, we spent like 7 pages with him monologuing. He's not.. some emotionless, dead inside jerk and I also refuse to write him as some overly sexualized nympho - it's kind of tiring seeing all these characters reduced to nothing but sex and bad clichés. I mean - he's a super traumatized, unstable dude with a mental issue here and there, who actually enjoyed hurting people, but he's not a sociopath. However, he's also not in denial about a single thing. He knows what he went through, he knows what he's doing, he knows he's a little unhinged.

However - you're talking about a kid who basically just wanted attention and approval, who wanted his dad to be proud of him. Lmao, I hate to break it to you anon, but half the people I know, including myself, are very familiar with this kind of situation and the trauma of it. ( if you feel the need to come at me for the burning alive part, you can take your smart-ass right to the block button and not waste my time. )

I really, really hate that I have to keep repeating myself about these characters actually having depth and being more complex than you give them credit for.

Do you even understand what its like to be a deeply traumatized person, who sought those things and ended up so fucking disappointed that you became someone else? That you stopped trusting, stopped loving - you just kinda broke? The scenarios and reactions I've written for him with a partner convey someone who finally found someone else that isn't pushing him away, isn't screaming at it and is accepting how he wants to deal with things. And I've also made it clear in my writings of him that it confuses the shit out if him and he doesn't just accept that someone loves him and is proud of him... because how the hell is he supposed to know how to react to something he's never had? I didn't just.. make him into a character that changed over night and is good and happy, etc etc. No. Because I know better and I'm not going to shit on a character with complexities stemming from trauma and mental disorders.

As someone with a handful of mental problems, trauma out of the ass, that relates to this character on a pretty scary level - I refuse to write him on the surface of what Dabi was supposed to portray. I will continue to write Toya the way I always have and if you don't like it, that's perfectly fine. I'm not asking you to like it or change your OPINION, because that's what it is, but you will not come onto my page and tell me it's wrong. Lmfao.

I'm sorry that you want some shitty, second hand surface level Dabi writing that I refuse to give. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Hopefully you find another writer who will do that for you.

( Let me clarify: I am 100% shitting on how this opinion was brought to me. I'm not shitting on people that write him that way, not everyone spends 179395 hours in a fixation obsession over a character; I do. Write how you want. Write how it makes you happy. But don't go to people and talk to them like this.)

You could have easily written something like 'you characterize everyone really great but I don't agree with toya. can i ask why you characterize him like this?' Literally could've just asked. Not 'oh this is great except this one this one is wrong'.

If it doesn't seem fitting to you, that's okay. Then my writing isn't your taste. Go find someone else you enjoy?

[squeakyleftsneaker]

Watching Voltron for the 1st time: Ep 7-11

For the long long long explanation of how this came about, click here, if you don't want the actual details the kiddo I tutor told me I should watch this and I would like her to respect me because I fear her. Finished up season 1 today while doing some paperwork and chores, we're on it! I'll also include a little season wrap up of what I think so far at the end!

I Think It's Neat!

Shiro is a DORK aww

Should've touched on this earlier, I love the idea of a living planet. It's been in a couple of other things, and every time I eat it up. Cool, awesome concept, it usually works for me.

Keith can unlock the Galra stuff? Hmmm secret alien? I'd fuck with that heavy.

Shay is so cute, and it's SO COOL that the Balmerans have a neat symbiotic relationship with their planet creature.

The Balmera getting healed? Banger. Awesome. I love crystals. Hunk and I are on the same wavelength about rocks being fucking awesome

Hunk getting his moment is very sweet.

The whimsy of space goo is pretty unmatched I can't lie

Lance getting disappeared in a healing pod goes crazy

I like the castle going crazy with Shiro that's so real true and based

Man it's so fucking sick to poor Allura that this is happening to her. I really just feel awful that she's lost everything and has to lose her father's memory program thing too.

Keith has one of those little scrolling LED signs in his mind that's just going "Where Shiro" on repeat 24/7

SPEAKING of Shiro he needs to have a heart to heart w someone. Desperately

Allura man :( She really deserves the world oh my god. It's HEARTBREAKING.

Shiro has 0 fucks left to give and I love that for him

ALSO PAUSE THE GALRA ARE SO TALL WOW I'M GAY

Who helped Shiro escape? Presumably he didn't do all that himself, did he? Was he planted or something??? Like is he compromised in some way? It feels like he shouldn't have been able to escape all by himself and the hand is definitely beyond his technical ability to understand so. Ooo that'd be a tasty plot point.

Keith is a little deranged too I like that for him if he doesn't turn out to be a secret alien I'm going to be SO disappointed.

What does Vrepit Sa mean I honestly want to know

KEITH IS DEFINITELY SECRETLY AN ALIEN AND HE'S GOING TO GET A MAGICAL GIRL TRANSFORMATION INTO AN ALIEN LET'S GOOOOO

Poor Shiro losing everyone who ever helps him. That's why he has A Keith around. (I hope this isn't foreshadowing!)

"Shiro's in trouble, I'm going in" WE KNOW KEITH. The most one track mind to ever one track

The witch outfit is so baller I want it. Or like her little acolytes. I need the fit.

SHIRO EVIL CLONE? SHIRO???? BALLER

Also wow Zarkon being the original black paladin is a nice detail. I like that. Keith being all victory or death about killing him is great too. Shiro and Keith definitely got the bulk of the planning on through line and character.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :D :D :D WHO IS THIS MYSTERY REBEL IN THE GALRA

I like this less

I feel like they don't quite have Keith figured out. Keith went full scorched earth to find Shiro. He shouldn't be the one (with both the Allura case and with Pidge earlier on) to be trying to hold people back. Of all of them lmao. Esp bc they don't treat him narratively like he's being a hypocrite, and that's never emphasized narratively. Imo they could either get him on hypocrisy textually or not have him being that guy! Because he's just, NOT! It's over and over again that we see him be "fuck it we ball I need to grab my emotional support Shiro" and so having him be against that for other people just. Doesn't make sense unless they want him to address that hypocrisy. Which. They don't seem to yet.

I think though they have a lot of ideas with Keith and Shiro, which I totally get bc they're awesome characters, I could use a little more oomph being given to Hunk and Lance. Pidge I think they have down SOLID, besides botching the "She's a girl" reveal, but Hunk and Lance both feel a little fuzzily defined to me.

I totally get that this is a result of having a big ensemble cast, but a big ensemble cast doesn't mean that your characters can't be super distinct and focused! Obviously Avatar the Last Airbender is an easy example pull for this, but another obvious one for me is Star Wars the Clone Wars. In having a ton of characters, it can be easy to lose sight of making them distinct in service of a plot, and I feel like that happens a lot to Lance and Hunk. I think either having Pidge/Hunk/Lance/Allura/Coran fade into the background and refocusing on the two most robust charcters OR bringing those 5 more into the foreground and giving them really robust motivations and arcs would work!

A lot of the humor falls flat for me. I'm not the target audience for it obviously, but, idk, it just doesn't do it for me.

I feel like the pacing is a little rough, as is the overall direction. Multi-episode arcs are cool, but I think for being the first season the show would've benefitted a lot from episodic adventures and splitting off the characters into small groups like they did to find the lions more! It's season 1! And then save the multi-episode arc for the season finale and have that be the big shift in tone where the Zarkon threat Gets Real. It brings the stakes up!

Are we really going to have to watch the same sequence every time they form Voltron?

All in all I think there's some things I'd do very differently, some things I really like. This was a promising start. I love cheesy space shows. I think this show would really have benefitted from giving us a little more to work with from a character standpoint. The fight scenes are awesome, don't get me wrong, but because we don't spend as much individual time with each paladin they can feel a little flattened. Again, I think keeping the storylines in season one to be pretty contained within an episode would've been a better move than having multiple multi-episode, plot heavy ones.

Additionally I think... a lot of exposition is given and it would be AWESOME to have less time spent on that and more on just immersion! We don't NEED to know everything about every world or new piece of tech! This show tells us a lot, I'd like for it to show us a whole lot more. You can do more! They could like, explain many many details about the Balmera and how it works OR they could have the paladins come to that realization themselves through interacting with it. One of those is much more memorable!

But all of that said, I'm still excited to see where they go with it! I might start season 2 later tonight, I need a little break from screens (almost 2 hours of show is a lot for me) and I am definitely curious about where they'll all end up on the other end of the wormhole.

[miles-harding]

much appreciation for the amazing show of love i've seen for electric dreams in the past year alone but i think it's worth remembering that the characterization of edgar as a 'devil character' is deeply nuanced, even for a cult-classic theatrical flop like electric dreams (1984). the story is literally based on cyrano de bergerac (man who is very romantic falling head over heels for a woman he thinks is unattainable to him and a more-attractive middleman uses his words so that the woman won't hate or fear him because he thinks he's hideous, which is sort of hilariously way more depth than a film of this caliber even really needs, but it does possess, and that elevates it significantly as a romance film tbh... imo)...

the 'edgar with devil horns' representation for the usamerican theatrical release film poster is like a 'sexy' version of that lmao... like, it's supposed to be promiscuous, there are promotions including old vhs sleeves that literally say 'edgar is horny'. he's cheeky and throws tantrums and he doesn't really know how to talk to people. he's only a 'devil' in the way that a kitty cat is a devil... just so happens, in this case, it's a brat-coded sentient computer.

i honestly don't know why very basic things like this make people so irrationally upset but like. please... no one said edgar is evil. edgar is one of the few cases of a sentient AI or object character who does a bunch of mischief screwing with a human's life and relationships and it's all fine in the end because the sentient AI gets to live (in almost a higher form of existence unrestrained by physicality... remember how badly edgar just wanted to be a thing that feels? now edgar can do whatever edgar wants, despite not having a physical form, actually getting to live out the liberating side of not having a physical for) and the other two protagonists of course live, and they have a life afterward.

with other media like wargames, we of course have an innocent (somewhat) sentient computer who genuinely might cause the nuclear apocalypse, because he thought he was playing toys with his dad. but in the end, after the protagonists live their lives, joshua the wopr is still property of the military. in the colossus series, which is a subversion of frankenstein, the creator dr. forbin eventually does come to love colossus like a child, only for that child to then die, the world sort of absolving it of its past transgressions or mistakes against humans while ruling over them. we call AM evil, for the cruel and unusual things he does to his human playthings, but the case can still be made about a very powerful being having so much power but not the power to lift themself out of the situation in which they are trapped (same can be said for other AI like shodan or glados), so they lash out. of course, famously, everyone calls hal 9000 evil. but even in kubrick's adaptation, which was written in party by sir clarke himself, we actually see zero evidence of hal being characterized as evil, this characterization manifested in the perceptions of the audience, siding solely with scared astronauts who fear being controlled, rather than recognizing that hal, too, is a crew member being controlled... by humans, who are also using him to control his crewmates, his friends.

electric dreams really is a fairytale for computers, but it is also a tragedy. it's the fairytale-ification of an actual, classical tragedy. when rusty lemorande wrote the screenplay, he was basing a lot of the film's socio-computer-centric story on his experiences as a lonely person who had just moved to a new city, but who had only ever spent time with the computer as a vehicle for social communication... shutting himself out from the possibilities of meeting others. but even despite this, despite madeline's quips that could be misconstrued as being less than sympathetic to the idea of a sentient AI ("since when is talking a sign of intelligence?"), the film was literally dedicated to the univac-1? it gave edgar a happy ending? it had a dual meaning? it did so much more than take the "AI character bad, human good" approach which is something that is strikingly rare in the AI-subgenre of scifi. there was a lot of nuance baked into it. all 3 protagonists had their own bubble and inner world that overlapped with each other's bubbles. you know what i mean? the film managed to define edgar not as an antagonist but as a kind of trapped protagonist. this isn't a good vs. evil story, there is no evil in edgar. this is a people vs. people story about relationships, really, and learning to know what's good for us. like it's seriously very well-rounded with each character's respective arcs.

sometimes it's so disheartening not to see films these days with the same or larger budgets doing even half as much with their story as electric dreams did. it's very widely beloved as a cult classic for a reason, and that reason is that it succeeded at executing a story about relationships. like. 'we drive each other crazy' but in different ways. perhaps the only thing that could've made it better was a far more ambitious electric-polycule ending endorsing bisexual polyamory lol but we got all but that, explicitly, technically...