#lmao but anyway first day was nice! I’m learning as I go

[thetwilightroadtonightfall]

you really don’t feel how short you are until you have to grab all the books out of a library return box

[ballad-of-birdy-lamb]

hi ! i’ve never actually requested before, so i apologize if i’m doing this incorrectly 😭 i saw that you were asking for tbosbas asks and i’m starving for content atm lmao. anyway, i was wondering if you could write some fluff headcanons for sejanus plinth and reaper ash (separate) with a fem! reader (romantic is preferred, and gn is okay as well if you’re more comfortable with it) ! i’m sorry again if i did this wrong, but i love your writing and you seem so sweet so i wanted to give it a try !!

Thank you so much! And yes, you did ask in the correct place!

Sejanus Plinth x Fem! Reader x Reaper Ash (separate, romantic/fluff headcanons)

Mention of the public hangings in Reapers part

Sejanus Plinth:

He understands love and knows how to express it, he just didn't expect it to be so difficult. Like, why is Sejanus so scared to give you a note to go out with him? Why is he so nervous when he needs to talk to you? Why can't he just be smooth and not scared shitless?

Whenever Ma makes sweets, he'll give them to you as a gift. No matter the treat, if you like it, it's yours. Ma likes it since she doesn't have to worry about fridge and cabinet space and she can bake as much as she wants

If you're from one of the districts like he was, Sejanus will want to learn about your district or reminisce about District Two (if you share a district)

If you're from the Capital, he'll tell you about what life was like for the brief time he was in District Two. He’ll even ask Ma about Two just to tell you more

When Strabo eventually finds out, it's a very awkward talk. If you're from the Capital, he'll ask if you're from a wealthy family. Generally, Strabo will be calmer about it. If you're from a district, it's far worse. Strabo thinks it's an act from Sejanus wanting to stay district or keep part of it with him.

Nervous when he started going out with you. Sejanus had the worst anxiety the entire time. What if he tripped and embarrassed himself? What if he choked on food at a diner?

He constantly asks to do basic couple things. Sejanus asks to hold hands even years into the relationship when it's normal to not constantly need to ask anymore. But he does it because he's still nervous, you're still the prettiest girl he's ever seen and he will forever always be shy around you.

Reaper Ash:

FINALLY, someone talks about him omg

You're extremely lucky to be able to date him since he doesn't go out of his way to get a lover

Even then, he is the sweetest man in the world, especially in relationships. Treats you very well and forever will

Since you both live in District Eleven, one of the poorest districts, there isn't much that goes around. But even then, Reaper constantly saves up for a potential wedding. He's never gonna tell you where the money’s going. “It's going to be for a good cause for us.” Reaper constantly says, never evaluating the matter. But he'll make comments about how your future will go

Reaper wanted to win the Games not only to take on the Capital but to go home and marry you. He's said it many years before, every year before reaping day

“I'll come home and I'll marry you. We'll have a nice wedding and then we’ll live together for the rest of our lives.” Reaper smiled at the idea but looked away from embarrassment. “I hope that doesn't sound too cheesy.”

He takes his values very seriously and it affects how he sees you too. If you're sympathetic towards the Capital, you wouldn't be in a relationship in the first place. Simple as that

Reaper has a habit of going to you whenever he gets upset throughout the day. Another public hanging, he's going to you to rant. He rants about everything. He goes on about the cruelty of the Capital and how the districts are still the animals but don't kill Capital children every year

If he got the moment to talk to you before he was on the train, he would have asked for you to never watch his games. It wasn't normal to be that violent and didn't want to have your views of him altered by the violence he would need to attain to win

Every year, just before the reaping ceremony, he kisses you. He gives you a simple goodbye if he's ever reaped but it means a lot. At least there's someone in District Eleven rooting for him to come home.

[julilovesyou444]

hey baee that last fic u did was so good i literally loved it tysm it was so cute!! i have another request - could you write smth where the reader is the 5th member of the band and tom has lit been in love w her since they were kids, and it’s only when they’re like 16/17 that he finally accepts it and confesses to the reader?? like it’s so unlike him to be all soppy and stuff so he didn’t wanna accept his feelings and he’s like super nervous bc he doesn’t wanna like ruin the friendship or anything but ofc the reader likes him back 😋😋 THAT WAS SO LONG LMAO and super specific again but anyways tysm 💗💗💗

i know you ~ tom kaulitz

ty for requesting bb! I’m so happy you liked the last one!! hopefully this one is okay too! enjoy💗💗 if anyone wants, feel free to request

warnings: swearing, yelling, drinking, partying, kissing, thats it i think ??

a/n~ thank you for 100 followers!! I sound stupid saying that but seriously the support means so much to me, gustav req coming soon!! stay tuned and enjoy this little piece for now💟 also thank you for all the comments and messages, I LOVE YOU GUYS🫶

(okay but angry love confessions >>>)

sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes !!

~

“are we doing anything tonight?”, i asked, laying down on the tour bus’ couch. My legs were draped across bills, he had insisted. We had been on the schrei tour for about a month now. the change from regular life to tour life was insane. we were on the schrei tour, about a couple months or so in. We had a little trouble adjusting at first, we were all getting into a lot of arguments, but now we were fine. Bill and Tom still get into arguments a lot, though. Tom has been acting weirder than usual, and i kinda felt like most of this behavior was aimed at me. It felt like he was distant, and I couldn’t figure out why. I have had a crush on Tom for just about as long as I can remember, but I always pushed away those feelings because I loved our friendship too much, and I didn’t want to confess to him and for there to be a rift in between us. I knew for a fact he didn’t like me back. He had so many absolutely gorgeous fan girls who liked him, so there was no way he liked me. He was also kind of a player. That hurt a little at first, but just like the whole situation, I learned to live with it.

“Uhh, i dont think so. We could do something, though. I wouldn’t mind.”, Bill replied, typing something on his phone. The door to the bus opened, and Tom walked in. The smell of cigarettes followed him. We were waiting on Georg and Gustav to finish up the grocery shopping. I thought he was going to go sit down on his bed, but I was wrong. He was staring down at me.

“What?”, i asked.

“Sit up. I wanna sit on the couch too.”, he said flatly. I groaned and sat up for a second, my legs still over Bills. I looked back and saw that Tom was sat behind me, both of his arms resting on the top of the couch. I fell back onto his lap, my head resting on top of his legs. I felt him tense up under me. He raised his eyebrows at me in a judgy way and I rolled my eyes.

“Who said I’m allowing you to do that?”, he said in a bratty tone.

“Deal with it.”

“I guess I will because it doesn’t really seem like I have a choice.”, he huffed.

“Okay, I’m tired of your guys’ bickering, I’m going to go check on Gustav and Georg and see what is taking them so long. Hans is in the store too, I guess he got tired of sitting and driving all day. I’ll be back soon.”, Bill said, lifting my legs up and letting himself get up. Before either Tom or I could protest, he left.

The silence engulfed us. It felt awkward, and I hated it. I had known Tom since we were seven. He had always been a bit of an asshole, but he was nice too. Lately I had just been getting asshole Tom. He seemed somewhat normal with everyone else, except for me. I started to overthink. Did he find out I liked him? Was he uncomfortable around me now? Did he think I was weird?

“sorry for laying on you, I’ll get up.”, i quickly said as I began to sit up. Tom grabbed my shoulder and pushed me back down into his lap.

“No. You can stay. If you want.”, he said flatly.

“Oh… okay, yea.”

I looked up at him as he gazed back down at me. I couldn’t figure out what was going on with him. What had changed between us? When he was a kid, he would treat me just like he treated everyone else in the band.

“Is everything okay?”, i asked softly.

“What do you mean?”

I could tell he knew exactly what I meant.

“Oh, I don’t know, it’s stupid, nevermind.”, I looked away.

“No, tell me.”, he used his finger to direct my chin back toward him. His eyes were slightly narrowed.

“I don’t know, Tom, you just seem different, that’s all. I feel like you haven’t been yourself lately, but I’m probably just dumb and it’s all in my head.”

He didn’t say anything.

“I’m sorry.”, i immediately apologized in fear of making him angry.

“Why? You have no reason to be.”

Everything he did confused me.

“Okay, well, I just feel like you’ve been a little distant.”

“I haven’t been.”, he said. He sounded a little bit annoyed.

“Okay, sorry.”

“Will you stop saying sorry?”, he lashed out.

I froze. He usually never yelled at me. He knew I hated when people yelled at me. No matter what the situation was, if someone yelled at me, I would cry. He knew that. I sat up and he tried to get me to stay. I shrugged him off and stood up.

“Um, I think I’m gonna go take a nap in my bunk, I’m pretty tired.”, I mumbled.

“Just wait-“

“Leave it, Tom.”, i said quietly before walking away and over to my bunk. I heard Tom curse underneath his breath. I laid down, and about a minute after doing so, I heard everyone load back onto the bus.

“Okay, we have about two hours left in our drive to Dresden and then you guys can get checked into your hotel and do whatever you want for the rest of the day.”, Hans, our driver, announced. Everyone agreed.

“Where’s did she go?”, i heard Bill ask. He sounded confused.

“Her bed, she’s taking a nap.”, Tom replied.

“What did you do now?”, Bill teased.

“Fuck off.”, Tom said back.

“Calm down.”, Georg said.

“Can we just go?”, Tom yelled up to the front of the bus at Hans.

I felt the bus start to move. I got under the covers. I was still very in love with Tom, and the way he was acting towards me hurt me so much. I didn’t know what I did wrong. I missed the way things were. I silently cried for a minute, I felt so stupid. He shouldn’t have this kind of effect on me. I hated crying. I felt like a baby. I fell asleep within a few minutes, trying to forget about what was happening.

~

I felt the bus come to a sharp stop. I blinked my eyes open. I could hear Tom and Bill arguing. I couldn’t see them because I was in the back of the bus, but whatever they were talking about, sounded serious. I stood up and walked over to the cracked door. They couldn’t see me, and I could only see a sliver of them.

Bill was standing up, lecturing Tom about something.

“If you like her, why don’t you just tell her??? I don’t get it.”

“I don’t fucking like her, just fuck off.”, Tom spat back at him.

“Yes you do! It’s obvious! You have since, forever! We can all see that you do. We also all see you treat her like she’s nothing, don’t you think that hurts her?”

“It is kind of obvious.”, Gustav trailed off. They were probably talking about one of the many girls Tom was leading on. He always did this. It didn’t surprise me.

“Shut up, Gustav. And so what if I do like her? How is that any of your business? I’m not going to jeopardize the band or anything else for that matter for some silly crush.”

“It’s not a silly crush, Tom. You’re in love with her.”, Bill said. It was silent.

My stomach dropped. So that’s why he’s been acting all weird. He’s in love with another girl. I couldn’t listen anymore. I stepped out the door and stretched, acting like I heard nothing.

Everyone’s eyes darted to me.

“Good morning, everyone! We are here?”, i said as cheerfully as possible. I wanted to play it off like I was completely fine and like the boy I’ve been in love with since I was seven wasnt in love with some other girl I didn’t even know.

“You just woke up?”, Georg asked. Everyone looked a little worried.

“Yea! Your guys’ fucking yelling woke me up so I figured you were probably arguing over the set list, of course you were dicks are deciding without me so I wanted to come and help choose.”, I laughed. Acting skills, on point. The band looked relieved.

“Well, if that’s over then let’s go get settled into the hotel.”. I suggested. Everyone nodded.

Hans went into the hotel lobby and got us checked in while we unpacked all of our stuff onto caddys. He came back, handed us our keys and told us our floor and room numbers. Georg and Gustav shared a room, as well as Bill and Tom. I had a room to myself, it had always been that way.

We took our stuff inside and went up the elevators into our hotel rooms. I unpacked my stuff pretty quickly before going over to Bill’s room to try and make plans for tonight.

I knocked on their door. Tom cracked it open and squinted his eyes at me before opening it all the way. I pushed past him but he grabbed me and pulled me back.

I furrowed my brows at him and tried to continue walking, but he wouldn’t let me.

“Can you not be so stubborn and just hear me out?”, he said. I stopped trying to get out of his grasp and crossed my arms over my body. I widened my eyes and shook my head a little, giving him a cue to start talking.

“I didn’t mean to yell at you earlier. I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s with me lately, but you’re right, i havent really been myself.”

I sighed. I didn’t want him to feel bad, especially for loving another girl. It was rare that Tom genuinely liked someone, and I didn’t want to get in the way of that.

“I know why, Tom. Its okay, I understand now. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable or something. I wont get so close to you anymore.”

He looked so confused.

“Wait what? What do you mean ‘uncomfortable’? And I never said I didn’t want you close to me? What are you talking about?”

“Tom, I know you. You’re like my bestfriend, its okay. You don’t have to keep secrets from me. And im not gonna be upset if you don’t want me to be as touchy and stuff with you. I wouldn’t want to do anything to affect your relationship or whatever you are deciding to call it.”

“What are you talking about?”, he asked. He was acting so shocked. Then Bill walked out of the bathroom. Since he clearly wasn’t comfortable with telling me about the girl he was in love with, I wasn’t going to push, so I changed the subject.

“Bill!”

“Oh, hi!”, he smiled, noticing me.

“I was thinking, what if we went to a club tonight?”

“OH MY GOSH, YES!!! please! I need to party, I’ve been so drained from always doing shows, that would be just what I need. you’d come too, right, Tom?”, Bill asked.

“Yea, I guess.”, Tom nonchalantly replied. He acted as if he was too good for that stuff.

“Go tell Georg and Gustav.”, Bill instructed.

“Why do I have to? Why can’t you?”, Tom complained.

“Because you know I take the longest to get ready! It’s getting late already so I’d like to leave sooner than later.”

“Ugh, fine.”, Tom said, rolling his eyes before leaving the room.

“What’s his deal?”, i asked.

Bill hesistated.

“Uhh, i dont know, he’s been weird. Tom will get over it soon though, don’t worry.”

“Oh, okay… it doesn’t have anything to do with me, right?”, i asked, trying to slyly investigate.

I saw Bill physically get taken aback.

“Uhhhhh no! No, I don’t think so. Why do you ask?”

“Uh i just feel like he’s been acting weird towards me I guess. We used to like jokingly flirt and be pretty close but we don’t ever really do that anymore and it feels kind of weird, but I think I know why.”

“Oh… and why is that?”

“He’s in love with somebody. I don’t know who, but it’s probably one of the girls he’s slept with. I think Tom just feels weird with me being how I used to be like with him because he is in love with her, y’know what I mean?”

“Wait-wait, where did you get this from?”, Bills mouth was agape.

“Don’t be mad but I heard you guys arguing on the bus. I heard only part of it. I don’t know why I didn’t say anything, but obviously the rest of the guys know and Tom is refusing to tell me too. He doesn’t know I already know, but I don’t really understand what is stopping him from telling me.”

“Oh… I see.”, Bill said, contemplating his next words.

“I think he will tell you when he’s ready, I think he just wants you to approve of him and he thinks highly of you. I also think you make him a little nervous.”, he finally added.

“Me? Make Tom nervous? Funny, but no way.”, I laughed. Bill made a face and shrugged.

“Okay, I’m gonna go get ready, I’ll see you in like 45.”, I said, turning for the door.

“Wait!”

“Hm?”

“I have a question, answer honestly, please.”

“What is it Bill?”

“Do you have feelings for Tom?”

I could feel myself immediately get flustered and my cheeks start to get red. Fuck fuck fuck.

“What?”, i laughed awkwardly.

“Please, I’m your bestfriend, you can tell me if you do.”

“Why do you even think that? Tom is my best friend just like you are.”

“You aren’t denying it.”

“Bill, please.”

“Do you?”, he asked again.

I gave him pleading eyes, asking him to leave it alone.

“Bill…”

“You can tell me anything. I wouldn’t judge you at all.”, he placed his hands on my shoulders.

I sighed again. Even if I said I didn’t, I knew Bill wouldn’t believe me.

“Maybe?”, i scrunched my face up a bit.

Bill smiled.

“Why are you so happy?”, i asked, unclear on whatever was going on in his head.

“No reason…”

“Please, Bill. Don’t say anything to Tom. I don’t want to ruin our friendship, he means too much to me. And I don’t want to get in the way of his relationship with this girl.”

Bill smiled at me again. He shook his head.

“I promise I won’t. And if I were you, I wouldn’t worry about another girl.”

“I thought he loves her though?”

“Just dont worry about it, go get ready!! And look hot! Not that you don’t already, but go get more hot!”, he said pushing me to the door, a smile permanently engraved on his face.

“Bill- wait Bill-“I stuttered as he pushed me out the door.

“Hm?”

“Please, I’m serious. Don’t say anything.”

“I won’t. Boyscouts honor.”, he held two fingers in the air before slamming the door in my face. I was greeted by Tom leaning against the wall. I flinched, I hadn’t seen him because he was standing behind the open door. His arms were crossed over his chest.

“Jesus, fuck! You scared me.”, i yelled.

“Don’t say anything about what? What were you guys talking about?”

“Nothing.”

“I hate when you keep secrets from me.”

“You’re one to talk.”, i replied, defensively.

“What? Was it about me? Are you embarrassed or something?”, he took a step closer to me, his face now adorned with a smug grin. I scoffed.

“Get over yourself, Tom. The world doesn’t revolve around you.”

“Maybe not, but sometimes I begin to think you do.”, he teased.

I rolled my eyes and turned around to go to my hotel.

“Be ready soon!”, he called after me as i slammed the door.

~

Bill banged on my door, for the third time in the last five minutes.

“HURRY UPPPPP”, he groaned. I finished zipping up my shoe before opening the door. Bill looked annoyed but as soon as he saw me, his face lit up.

“Oh. My. God.”, he said, looking me up and down.

“You like?”, i asked, already knowing the answer. I was wearing a denim mini skirt that was way too short, a black lacy top that had long belle sleeves with a pretty cleavagey v-neck. It was cropped perfectly to display my belly button ring. I of course had a ton of jewellry on too, with a bit of makeup as well. I wore platform black boots that went up part of my calf. They were leather and I had been gifted them, but I rarely got the chance to wear them.

“Obviously!”, bill exclaimed.

I walked out to see the rest of the band waiting in the hallway. They all looked a little shocked when they saw my outfit. I usually didn’t dress-up too much, mainly because I didn’t have the confidence to do so. I decided to just let go and have fun tonight.

I walked past them and they just stood there. I clicked the button for the elevator and looked back at them down the hallway.

“Are you guys coming or…?”

They scurried down the hallway and got into the lift with me. We decided to go to a club that was only two blocks away. It was a pretty popular club, and we usually got into most clubs that we tried to because of our status in Germany. The bouncer recognized us and let us skip the line. Perks of being semi-famous I guess.

The music was so loud I could barely hear my own thoughts. Bill grabbed my hand to pull me away and get drinks. I turned away and grabbed Tom’s hand, dragging him along with us. At first he just let me hold his hand, but then he held it back, letting Bill and I lead him through the crowd of drunk people.

Bill ordered us all shots. Tom watched as i downed mine, and drank his not long after. Bill snaked his arm around my waist and pulled me away to the dance floor. We danced for a little before some random girl took it upon herself to steal him away. I couldn’t really blame her though. I danced by myself for a little but got bored and decided I wanted another drink. I made my way over to the bar and ordered a drink I saw another girl have. I began to drink it slowly, looking around. I made eye contact with a guy. He was by himself, looking me up and down. He smiled and i smiled back. He had to be at least 22. He approached me and asked if he could buy me a drink, despite me not even being close to the one i just got myself. I told him that if he wanted to, he had to dance with me first. He agreed, and we went over to crowd of dancing bodies.

At first, it started pretty innocent. Just giggling, drinking, and dancing. He started to get touchy, putting his hands on my waist. He had them slowly go from my waist, downwards. I would pull away whenever he got to close to the one thing he wanted, but no matter how many times I pulled away, he would always try to do it again. I looked over and was met with Tom’s eyes. They were staring at me, a sort of gross look on his face. Was he really that disgusted by me?

“can I get you that drink now?”, he winked. I internally cringed but said yes. Free drinks? Fine by me. He ordered me something, but nothing for himself. As soon as the drink was in my hand, he was urging and pressuring me to drink if. I did. Another drink, same deal. I downed the drink, wanting him to just leave me alone about it. Even though I told him not to, he ordered another drink. I tried to push it away, but he kept pushing it towards me. Finally, he put the drink down. I tried to back up, but he pulled me into a sloppy kiss that I wanted no part of. I tried to push him off but he was too strong, or maybe I was just to tipsy.

“get off of me.”

“please, stop”

but he wouldn’t.

“I don’t want this-“, i started, yet another plea for him to stop. a pair of hands yanked me back. before i could even see who it was, I saw Tom step in front of me and push that guy into the bar counter.

“She told you to get off her you fucking pervert. Is getting girls drunk enough so they hook up with you your only hobby. Pathetic.”, he spat. The guy looked like he wanted to say something back, or fight Tom, but he just cursed under his breath and stumbled away. I felt embarrassed. I shouldn’t have let myself get in that situation.

“Thank you.”, i mumbled to Tom. He shook his head.

“Just stop. You’re really fucking stupid sometimes y’know? Putting yourself in dumb situations like that.”, he rolled his eyes as he walked away. I wasn’t going to let him be that rude and just walk away, so I followed him. I watched as he weaved through people. I followed hom, but not to closely. I saw him open a door and go in before practically slamming it. It was too loud for anyone to even notice. I waited a minute before going into the door as well. There were a few flight of stairs. I climbed up them. I had finally made it to the top. I opened the door. The roof.

The cold air hit my face as I stepped out, the smell of cigarette smoke filling my senses. I saw Tom, standing towards the edge of the building, smoking as he looked out at the city. I began to walk over to him. The gravel crunched underneath my boots, making him turn around.

“What the fuck is your problem to me? You’ve been such a dick and I haven’t even done anything. I just want for things to be normal.”, i said, angered.

“They aren’t normal.”, he said, taking a puff of his cig.

“And how is that in any way my fault? I haven’t done anything to you, yet you are treating me like shit. You loving some girl doesn’t mean you can act like that, it doesn’t have anything to do with me.”

“It has EVERYTHING to do with you!”, he shouted.

“What the fuck did I do?! I don’t understand what I did to make you despise me so much! Why do you hate me so much?!”, I yelled back.

“I don’t hate you, I’m in love with you, you fucking idiot!”, he yelled. His eyes widened at his own words.

I was so confused. It didn’t feel real. I could barely comprehend what he had just said.

“What?”, was all I could manage to say. He looked so nervous, his hands shaking.

“I’m fucking in love with you, okay?? I have been ever since I’ve known you. I’ve tried to push it away, I’ve always denied it, but i cant anymore. I’ve tried everything and I can’t! I’ve slept with countless girls but the only thing I’ve ever been able to think about is you. You’re always on my mind and no matter what I do, I can’t seem to get you out of my head. I’ve been being mean to try and distance you from me and make myself stop loving you but it’s fucking torture and it’s stupid and it hasn’t even worked in the slightest. Bill told me you heard us on the bus, it wasn’t some girl, we were talking about you. Its you, and it always has been. I feel sick when I see you with other guys, I get so jealous I can barely handle it. All I’ve ever wanted is you, and not having you is killing me. I’m sick and tired of pretending like I don’t love you because I do! Hate is the last thing on this earth that I feel about you. I love you so fucking much, and I’m sorry for treating you the way I have been.”, he yelled.

I could hardly believe anything I was hearing. Tom Kaulitz? In love with me? This is a prank, right? It felt like a dream.

“Are you serious?”, i asked.

“Really? After that long ass rant or about loving you, you don’t believe me?”, he dryly laughed.

“Tom, im serious, please…”

“Yes, I’ve never been more sure on something in my entire life.”

“Why now? Why haven’t you said anything?”, I asked, still unsure.

“I wanted to, but I didn’t know how to. We would flirt, but you always took it as a joke. I wasn’t joking. I loved you so much as a friend too, I was scared that if I told you, I would lose you. i also hate talking about my feelings and shit, i feel so stupid whenever I do.”

Part of me was still processing everything. Boy I had been in love with forever, loved me back. In the exact same way I loved him, he loved me. I couldn’t hold back anymore.

“fuck it, i love you too. I’ve been in love with you since we were like eight, and I never said anything because I thought I had no chance with you and I didn’t want to make things weird. The only thing I wanted was for you to stay my friend and for you to like me. When you started acting like you didn’t, I felt horrible and I felt like there was no hope for anything for us. I acted like I didn’t feel anything for you because all I’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy. Even if it meant you being with someone else. I love you, Tom.”, I rambled.

He closed the distance between us. He placed his hands on each side of my jaw, his thumbs slowly caressing my cheeks. I could feel myself get goosebumps, staring up into his dark eyes.

“you were going to let me be with someone else so I could be happy? even if it meant you weren’t?”, he softly asked. I nodded.

“what did I ever do to deserve someone so sweet liek you?”, he murmured. His eyes glanced down at my lips. He took one of his thumbs and pulled it across my bottom lip, tugging down at it gently.

“God, you don’t even know how long I’ve wanted to kiss you.”

“How long?”

He laughed.

“Forever. I want to kiss you now more than ever.”

“Prove it.”

He chuckled at my boldness. Tom leaned in, our noses brushing against each other. I couldn’t stand the teasing anymore, I had waited too long. I dipped his face and pulled him down. Tom, smiling into the kiss at my neediness. It was so passionate, I could kiss his mmm forever. Our lips fit together like puzzle pieces. I pulled him in more, unsure if he was even able to get any closer than he already was. he tasted like Marlboro Reds and liquor. I loved it, I couldn’t get enough of him. One of his hands found its way down to my waist, while the other one tangled itself in my hair. He tugged ever so slightly, earning a soft groan from me. Tom smiled at this, getting the exact reaction he wanted. He pulled away, our foreheads resting against each other.

“fuck, you look so pretty. I wanted to tell you how good you looked earlier tonight but i was too scared.”, he mumbled. I smiled, the sweetness that I had missed was returning to Tom. I pulled him back into another kiss, the first one being incredibly addicting. Our tongues fought for dominance, of course he won.

The door to the roof swung open, startling both Tom and I. We attempted to pull away, but I before I could even see who it was, I heard Bill’s voice.

“I was looking for you guy- OH MY GOD.”, he said, a little shocked. his face quickly turned into a smile.

“What took you guys so long?”, he teased.

“Oh shut up.”, Tom laughed, his hand now around my waist.

“Well, I ordered us some more shots, so… c’mon. you guys can finish whatever this is later.”, he smiled, waking back into the building.

“let’s go inside.”, i said.

Tom kissed me again, this time with the full intent of being sweet and gentle.

“it feels weird to say out loud now, but I love you.”, he said into my ear. I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. I looked back up to him, seeing the very boy that i fell in love with all those years ago.

“I love you, too.”

~

a/n #2 ~ THIS WAS SO LONG IM SORRY. also sorry for this taking so long the first one I wrote DELETED😕 I’m on vacation right now but I hope you guys enjoyed this long ass story.

[bunthebreadboy]

i saw a fanart on pinterest when i decided to change my entire phone theme and i can’t get it out of my head.

the art was just after the zuko and ozai agni kai. zuko was knocked out, iroh was getting ready to take him and leave, and azula just came in and said “i took care of it”. if anyone knows what i’m talking about and has it saved or knows the og artist pls lmk!!

anyways. it got me thinking about an expansion of this au (that i will never write because i have neither the patience nor the time to do that) that (unsurprisingly) results in disasterlesbian!azula

so hear me out on this one. there would need to be an entire plot. like. what’s aang going to do??

azula killed ozai by electrocuting him. it’s the first time she discovers her lightning bending. it looks like he had a heart attack in his sleep. (don’t get too wrapped up in the details. azula’s a prodigy she can be overpowered for a bit)

why did she kill her dad? she’ll swear up and down that it was because “he really should have picked on someone with a better fighting ability than zuzu. honestly, it’s stupid he didn’t lose his honor after frying my pathetic firebender of a brother to a crisp.” it’s actually because she kind of sort of loves zuko. she will NEVER admit that.

iroh becomes fire lord, albeit a bit reluctantly. he spends the next three years attempting to end the war, stop the spread of propaganda in the fire nation, and deal with his niece and nephew bickering all the time.

so aang comes out of the iceberg. meets katara and sokka. katara convinces him to take her to the north pole because he’s the avatar, he still should probably master all four elements war or not. all of the traveling is the same (except zuko chasing them) until they get to omashu and king bumi is like “what’s up my dude, welcome back. we’re recovering from a war, so you should probably learn politics and how to not offend anyone while you master the elements!!”

(“there was a WAR?!?!!!” -aang, probably)

so now aang does a deep dive into all of the nation’s politics while also training. katara doesn’t really attend his meetings, but sokka’s a total nerd and is sat for every single one. first is waterbending at the north pole. insert canon things but add in a meeting with arnook.

this is where we introduce the REAL enemy, because the enemy can’t be the gaang attempting to learn international law at 12, 14, and 15 years old. during the full moon someone assassinates the moon spirit! (sorry yue, i love you but you still die in this au…)

so after mastering waterbending the gaang heads to the earth kingdom. they meet toph and she joins. they head to ba sing se, which, after trying to talk politics with the king, they realize is still completely unaware of the war. while in the earth kingdom, we get a name for the big bad. the dai li. after realizing that ba sing se is basically a military dictatorship, the gaang escapes and head to the fire nation.

that’s where zuko, azula, and iroh get reintroduced. aang and sokka consistently come back from meetings with the royals complaining about “oh my god, the princess is such a bitch. seriously, how is she allowed to help run this country??”

katara eventually goes with the boys to a meeting to get them to shut up. toph makes fun of her for being a people pleaser, but katara will do literally anything to get her brother and best friend to stop yapping about the same topic at her every. single. day.

azula (disaster lesbian) doesn’t say a single word throughout the entire meeting. sokka and aang walk out feeling like they were in the twilight zone. katara shows up to more and more meetings. why? definitely not cause the princess is sort of kind of somewhat cute intriguing.

insert azula’s gay awakening crisis here. she eventually starts talking at the meetings, but she’s only ever nice to katara lmao. katara does realize that azula’s an actual genius, though. she decides that the two of them could probably like, take over the entirety of ba sing se in a day if they tried hard enough. but of course that is purely hypothetical.

so one day a meeting gets interrupted by a literal dai li assassin trying to kill aang. he barely escapes the resulting fight.

so the dai li send more assassins. and even more assassins. until finally zuko gets fed up and is just like “alright i’m tired of dealing with these guys. can we please go kick their leader’s ass??”

that is how azula and zuko end up joining the gaang. and how azula can eventually lay siege over ba sing se (even if she reluctantly gives it back when katara tells her to).

—

other misc key points:

- azula and katara get together right before they fight with long feng. it happens cause katara notices that azula is nervous (nobody else would be able to tell) and so she’s like “zula. you’ve got this. we’ve got this” and kisses her lmao

- toph and azula are best friends, to katara’s obvious dismay

- the second azula calls zuko “zuzu” in front of sokka he immediately starts rolling on the floor and laughing. katara has to make sure his lungs are okay afterwards

- zuko: “im literally not gay??” sokka: “yeah, and toph can see”

- toph regularly comes back to wherever the gaang is staying with bags of money. she knows how to find every single illegal fighting ring in the world.

- this is a loooooong term plot. since there’s no reason to worry about the comet it can take place over many years. which also means that katara and azula literally pine for each other until they’re like 20 and everyone around them, especially (and surprisingly) aang, is like “oh my god make it stop”

[hugemilkshake]

Hey can you do more uh...self aware cookie run au with anxious reader? Just I can't help but imagine more scenarios of y/n being anxious and thinking 'OH MY GOD IM GONNA DIE!' Buuut end up spoiled by cookies. Here are some examples I thought up but if you think of anymore cute and fun things, I'd love to see em too!

Y/n goes to the hollyberry kingdom and meets pitaya. Thinks they are gonna die to dragon...nope, dragon just wants to encourage y/n to make smores or roast jelly dogs over their flames and if a single one of the cookies who sabotage the competition even think for a SECOND about interrupting that, then they got another thing coming!

Y/n thinks they are gonna die to the licorice sea or the traitor affogato cookie when encountering them....sea acts kind to y/n somehow (or just ignores em...your choice lol) and affogato just wants to spoil y/n with sweets! (Bonus: instead of joining the COD....they go with y/n as something along the lines of 'you know what? I don't want to take over this kingdom anymore. I don't want it anymore, I want y/n! King, I admit to everything, please banish me so I can run away to y/n's kingdom!') Lmao!

Golden cheese kingdom...y/n goes in, thinking glitches are gonna kill em buuuut all the digital cookies make sure y/n is feeling safe, happy, and comfortable....aaaand golden cheese gives em lots of hugs lol! Can imagine being wrapped up in her wings feels really good!

Enjoy the milkshake! I had to give an excuse for writing about affogato cookie- I mean, the dude caused me brain rot. Also I’m not writing any golden cheese stuff because smoked cheese massacred my team and I’m angry at that (my team had way more power than smoked cheese)

Somewhat plot relevant?

-platonic self aware au-

Normally you had means of controlling your anxiety but at this moment, there was no way you could control your anxiety. You were in the middle of a forest! And not even one in your own world! It was one in the game you had recently just gotten into!

You were only on episode 4 in the story mode so you literally had no clue where you were. You just sat on the ground and started to silently panic.

But at some point a cookie you did see once in the cookie unlock screen kinda picked you up and just took you to a palace? You don’t really remember what the cookie said but they weren’t hurting you! So that must mean something!

But you were now having a feast in this palace with a cookie who you learned was actually a dragon- well anyways the dragon said they were Pitaya Dragon, also known as The Red Dragon. You did panic for a moment before Pitaya told you to just chill out and have something to eat.

And you know what? It was actually quite fun! The Red Dragon talked about other dragons and nice fun stories while the two of you ate, you were sad to go but you had too. You got some berries and stuff you could sell as a wondering traveler. Though you did tell Pitaya you’d come back one day so might want to stay close

——————

You had gone from a warm and humid forest to a frozen wasteland. What’s more to say? You had everything you needed to survive and villages were quite nice to you, you had your own gear so you didn’t bother them too much.

But you did befriend a peculiar cookie when you were by the Dark Cacao kingdom…

A cookie who looked quite lavish found you and seemed a little lost and panicked… kinda how you were when you first got here…. You felt bad to the cookie so you went to talk to them

Apparently his name is Affogato Cookie and he was banished from the Dark Cacao kingdom on the grounds of the false accusations of him trying to upstage the king. Poor guy…

Now since Pitaya Dragon was so generous to you when you had nothing so you decided to help Affogato get back in his feet since you should be passing on others kindness!

What you didn’t know was that one Affogato lied to you, two Affogato had connections to Dark Enchantress and three, he would become your travel buddy. So now the two of you travel around as friends :3

[bisexualiteaa]

Ghoulish Kinda Love

John Hancock x Ghoul!Fem Reader (SMUT!! and some fluff!)

CW: NSFW MDNI!! ghoul reader, chem usage, alcohol use, talks of discrimination, p in v, p0rn w/ some plot, slow burn, FEELINGS! Fingering, oral, (fem receiving) short handjob, unprotected sex, ghoul sex, riding, irradiated cream pie, cursing, fluffy ending, potential spelling/grammar errors, slight deviance from game

AN: I’m back partying people! Thank you to those who have put requests in regarding our charismatic ghoul companion Hancock! Been itching to write something for him and give him a little more love because there isn’t a lot out there for my boy Hancock, and he deserves all the love. ❤️ We won’t talk about the way I’d go to write this and each time I would, a sign telling me I need to “repent for my sins” would come up along the road lmao. 😭 Anyway, enjoy some fluffy smutty action with our man Hancock! Please go easy, I’m still relatively new to all things Fallout so if I goof up some stuff from the game, I do apologize, I’m still learning! But otherwise I do hope y’all enjoy! 🥰

Also I don’t own the rights to any music here, but there are a few songs if you’d like to enjoy them along with the moment for a more immersive experience!

You didn’t remember much from your life before the bombs dropped on that horrifically fateful day. You vaguely remember the taste of pie when you would bake it, or Mac ‘n cheese back when it was made with clean water and fresh hot off the burner. You even more vaguely remember the days of dressing really nice, now it was all you could to find something that was concealing enough to hide who you had become wandering along the commonwealth aimlessly. There was once purpose in your journey, once meaning behind it but not anymore, at least not one you could remember. Two hundred years is a long time to live, a lot of memories to hold, and when you’re spending a lot of that time trying to keep from turning feral it’s even harder to remember the trivial things like life without radiation exposure. It pained your heart to think about, to look at yourself in a mirror or your reflection in a passing puddle of radiated water. One thing you do remember is looking beautiful once upon a time, your once E/C eyes having turned a hazy black, your H/L, H/C having long since fallen out. Hell, the most noticeable part was that your nose was completely missing now, your leathery marred skin a sickly grey making you look like a walking corpse. You hated looking upon yourself now that you were a ghoul, you had been for a little over a century now, but it still always caught you by surprise.

t was one day upon your blind stumbling that you had entered a town called Goodneighbor, your bandana covering your face and large hat on to keep the fact that you were a ghoul slightly harder to point out lest it be anything like Diamond City was. You found out the hard way that day that a lot of places don’t take kindly to ghouls, and whether you were feral or not they tended not to want to chance it. You were just going to stroll through, minding your own business when a man stopped you on your way in. “Hey, hold up there. First time in Goodneighbor? Can’t go walkin’ around without insurance” spoke the gruff voice of a man who had just lit a cigarette in front of you, speaking with it sticking from the corner of his mouth before removing it and blowing the smoke in your direction. Asshole. “Unless it’s keep-dumb-assholes-away-from-me insurance, I’m not interested” you stated, and he didn’t quite like the tone you were catching. “Now don’t be like that, I think you’re gonna like what I have on offer” he replied, making you roll your eyes at his persistence. Here we go. “You hand over everything you got in them pockets or “accidents” start happening to ya. Big, bloody, accidents” he threatened, and you didn’t take too kindly to it but by now, you were used to the casual threat being thrown your way, especially as a ghoul. You heard a gravely voice from off in the distance, almost as if he had just appeared from the alleyway between the buildings in behind the man haggling you. “Woah woah, now time out” the man spoke, wearing a black tri-corn hat and a stark red jacket with a white dress shirt underneath. What really caught you by surprise? He was a ghoul. “someone steps through the gate the first time, they’re a guest. You lay off the extortion crap” he finished, walking towards the man haggling you and the man almost seemed to meet him halfway as if he knew him. All you could do was stand there in awe. Holy shit, he was defending you, no one ever did that. “What’d you care? She ain’t one of us” the man spoke, his cigarette smoke still lingering in your nostrils from when he’d blown it in your face. “No love for your mayor, Finn? I said let her go” the ghoul said, standing his ground. Wait…did he say mayor? He was the mayor of this town? As a ghoul?? You were so flabbergasted to imagine such a thing, your kind were so hated, you could never have thought of a town being accepting enough to be run by a ghoul. Although you could tell by the body language this man in particular didn’t really care for the mayor, they looked as if they were getting ready to have a stand off. “You’re soft Hancock. You keep letting outsiders walk all over us, one day there’ll be a new mayor” the man, Finn countered. “Come on man, this is me we’re talkin about. Let me tell ya somethin’…” the ghoul, Hancock said, walking closer to Finn, looking as if he was stretching his hand out to place it on Finn’s shoulder but instead, reached for a knife, stabbing your haggler repeatedly in the stomach until he dropped to the ground at his feet. You were in shock, you’d seen people killed before, heck you’ve killed people yourself before because it was a kill or be killed kinda world out here, but never in the time you spent as a ghoul had anyone ever killed for you.

“Now why’d you have to go and say that, huh? Breakin’ my heart here” Hancock said to the man before looking to you. “You alright, sister?” He asked. “Your face…it’s like mine” was unfortunately all you could say, bringing your bandana down to show him. “Ya like it? I think it gives me a sexy, king of the zombies kinda look. Big hit with the ladies” he said flirtatiously, his voice dipping a little lower, bringing out the gravely rasp to his tone and if you could blush still, you would have. You gave a smile and a giggle, enjoying his take on ghoulification. “I’m a ghoul, something I see we share. Lot of walkin’ rad freaks like us around here” he said, and you felt guilty for pointing it out and not thanking him first, but his next words put a warmth in your heart to hear. “Goodneighbor’s of the people, for the people, you feel me? Everyone’s welcome” he said, and that made you smile because never had you been some place where you felt so welcome for being who you were. “Of the people, for the people? Oh brother…” you joked sarcastically, making him laugh. “I can tell I’m gonna like you already. Just consider this town your home away from home…so long as you remember who’s in charge” he said before starting to walk off, but you were so curious, had so many questions needing answers to, so you bothered and stopped him.

“What can I do for ya, newcomer?” He asked happily, making you almost clam up when you went to speak but you cleared your throat, working through your anxiety. “What’s your story, Hancock?” You asked kindly yet curiously. “My favorite subject. I came into this town about…a decade ago? Had a smooth set of skin back then. While I was busy making myself a pillar of the community, I would go on these…like…wild tears. I was young; any chems I could find, the more exotic the better. Finally found this experimental radiation drug, only one of its kind left, and only one hit” he said, and his story had you intrigued. “Oh man, the high was so worth it. Yeah I’m livin’ with the side effects but hey, what’s not to love about immortality?” He asked, making you chuckle. “Got its perks, its downsides too but hey, glad to finally see someone enjoyin’ it” you said, making him chuckle. “All that chem use definitely prepared you for a career in politics…” you quipped wittily, making him chuckle. “People respect me because I don’t put myself above them. I sling and shoot up just like the next guy” he said, and you respected that. “Hey, no judgement! I respect that” you replied. “Can you tell me more about this town of yours, Goodneighbor?” You asked. “It’s all about the people, understand? They’re freaks, misfits, and troublemakers and that’s why I love ‘em. Everyone here lives their own life, their own way. No judgements” he said proudly, making you smile happily to find yourself welcomed to such a wonderful place. It wasn’t anything crazy big or crazy busy, it was quaint and sweet, felt like home and that was a hard feeling to come by these days. This was the first time you’d ever been anywhere so accepting, so care free of looks or who you were or what you did. It felt good. Maybe this was what you’d been searching for all this time.

“I have a feeling you’ll fit in well here” he said with a warm and inviting smile to match his tone, making you smile hopefully, and it made him happy to see such a look on your face, to know he had helped someone who seemed to really need it. “Thank you, it’s so nice to finally be welcomed somewhere rather than forced out” you said, and he felt that pain, knew that a lot of other people who stayed in his town felt the same way. It warmed his heart to know that he could be a helping hand. You seemed really sweet, he hoped you’d settle in and stay a while, newcomers were always interesting around here but you piqued his interest just a little bit more than most others did.

So as you settled in over time, he got to know you a little bit more. You would often venture down to the bar, and you’d found Hancock there quite often, there you exchanged life stories, dreams, aspirations, regrets. It was nice, finally having human interaction for once with someone, someone who understood and someone who wouldn’t cringe or push you away when you spoke. Some nights, he’d put something on from the jukebox and ask you to dance with him, not caring about how bad either of you were in your drunken/high states. Did I mention you were chem buddies? Oh yeah. When night time came, or you’d find some chems while out scavenging the commonwealth for more supplies to help yourself, Hancock and the town, he was inviting you to his room on the state house to do them with him. For that time, you could just forget the world in its entirety, forget being a ghoul, forget it all. You would smile and laugh amongst each other as you told wild stories, flirted with one another, it was always a good time with him. You never had to worry, and you loved that. He was a safe place to just be yourself and he did the same, with absolutely no shame or judgement in sight.

There was one night in particular that you’d remember for the rest of your days, no matter how long you lived until. You were at the bar, talking and enjoying a few drinks with Hancock as you both typically spent your evenings, before you watched him saunter his way over to the jukebox, picking a song to play to dance with you to. As much as Fehr claimed she wanted no part in, or held any care in your growing relationship with the mayor, she couldn’t help but feel a little warmth and happiness deep down that Hancock had finally managed to find someone that made him happy. It was good to see him happy and well, to be carefree in the positive kind of way rather than just getting high in his room all the time. Of course he was still getting high, but it was with you, someone who kept him company, someone who he could confide in. You smirked as you recognized the song that was playing as he leaned against the jukebox, his eyes raking your figure as Oh, Pretty Woman began to play, urging you over to him to dance with him. How could you say no to a man with such charisma?

Pretty woman walkin’ down the street

Pretty woman, the kind I’d like to meet

Pretty woman, I don’t believe you, you’re not the truth

No one could look as good as you

Mercy

He’d softly sang along with the song, his arm sliding around your waist to your back, swiftly and effectively pulling you against him, your hands resting against the ruffles along his white under shirt. You smiled up at him, knowing this was once again one of those times that if you could blush, you would. You’d never felt this way before, never felt so cared for, so wanted since you’d become a ghoul.

Pretty woman, won’t you pardon me?

Pretty woman, I couldn’t help but see

Pretty woman, that you look lovely as can be

Are you lonely just like me?

He continued to sing, just loud enough for you to hear, grabbing your hand and spinning you in front of him suavely before dipping you, unphased by anyone who could be looking on. You smiled as people clapped and stomped their feet to the beat as a way to hype you both up. You couldn’t help the fury of giggles leaving you as he did so, absolutely stunned by such a display.

Grrrow

He imitated right by your ear with a grin, making a shiver run down your spine at the way his raspy voice dropped in octave a little bit as he did. You gave an intrigued sound in response before a laugh bubbled up from your throat as you pulled his signature black, tri-corn hat off from his head in the process of standing back up, placing it on your own with a mischievous grin up at him that he mirrored back. He was good and he knew it, but you couldn’t just let him have this that easily, as much as you were down bad for him, you wanted to see him chase you a little bit. Needed to see if he was all talk or if his words and actions held meaning to them like you hoped they would.

Pretty woman, stop awhile

Pretty woman, talk awhile

Pretty woman, give your smile to me

Pretty woman, yeah, yeah, yeah

Pretty woman, look my way

Pretty woman, say you’ll stay with me

‘Cause I need you, I’ll treat you right

Come with me, baby, be mine tonight

He sang as you danced once more, grabbing your hands and twirling you to where your back pressed to his front for a moment before twirling you back, his fingers beneath your chin as you looked up at him at the end of the verse with a teasing grin. You sauntered away to the doorway towards the rooms before stopping there, turning to look over your shoulder at him as an invitation but stayed as you watched him sing.

Pretty woman, don’t walk on by

Pretty woman, don’t make me cry

Pretty woman, don’t walk away, hey

Okay

If that’s the way it must be, okay

I guess I’ll go on home, it’s late

There’ll be tomorrow night, but wait

What do I see?

Is she walkin’ back to me?

He sang as he watched your hand as it slid down from the doorway you propped up against before making your way back to him, getting just as excited to see you come back as the man singing the song claimed to be. He smirked, watching the sway of your hips as you walked towards him, giving a whistle as you did, his eyes roaming your body.

Yeah, she’s walkin’ back to me

Oh, oh, pretty woman

He finished, watching you loop your arms around his neck as his hands came to rest against your hips and god he’d never been more scared than fucking up this moment with you. Does he just hold you? Does he kiss you? Fuck, do you even feel that way about him? He figured with the way you two flirted, with the way you gave him bedroom eyes just a minute ago that you did, but he didn’t want to be an asshole and just assume either. Maybe he’d let you make the first move, place it in your hands to do with what you wish. That look in your eyes made him never want to look away, you looked at him like he hung the stars in the sky. God how he adored you, he wanted you so badly, and not even in just the sexual way that he normally felt for women who piqued his interest now and again. You were really and truly different in his eyes. As people clapped and cheered on for you both, the tension in the air was broken momentarily, making you laugh happily as you looked out at everyone then back up at him. You smiled up at him, your heart racing as he looked at you with a smile that told him this was the moment. So he took the leap of faith, pulling his hat from your head and leaning down to kiss you, his hat concealing your lips that locked together softly. The on lookers gave a whistle and a cheer as they knew exactly what was happening, and you placed your hands on either sides of his face, pulling him to you to keep him there for just a little bit longer. He grinned into your kiss, his free hand coming to rest on your hip as all worries flew out the window the moment you enthusiastically pulled him in. There couldn’t have been a happier man to exist in that moment other than him, watching as he looked down at you with the most star struck look on his face. “What do you say you and me sneak off for the night, Mr. Mayor?” You asked, placing his hat back on his head and adjusting it for him with a smile. He gave a raspy chuckle at you using his title and what you were insinuating from your question. He’d be lying if he said it didn’t send an excited twitch straight to his cock. “I’d say I like the way you think, sunshine” he replied, making you smile and giggle at his enthusiasm. “Good answer” you replied. Guess it was a good thing you’d paid for your drinks already after all.

You followed him upstairs, to his room in the state house, closing the door behind you both as you walked in after him. You could still hear the jukebox playing music loudly, you smiled as you heard the next song playing from it. Coincidentally enough, it was perfect for a slow dance. His hand boldly came to rest on your waist as his free hand grabbed yours, your fingers intertwined together. “I know it might be cheesy but…now that we’re away from all the pryin’ eyes, I wanna do this right” he said, making you smile softly at him, doing your best to hide the giddy excitement bubbling inside of you that you hadn’t felt in centuries. “Would you…dance with me?” He asked, making you smile brightly as your arms looped around his neck and you looked up at him with a dreamy smile. “I’d be delighted to” you replied, making him smile back down at you. You hummed along with the opening of the song, knowing the melody that was being played.

Crazy, I’m crazy for feelin’ so lonely

I’m crazy, crazy for feelin’ so blue.

I knew, you’d love me as long as you wanted

And then someday, you’d leave me for somebody new.

You sang as you rest your head against his chest as you both swayed to the rhythm of the song. You closed your eyes for a moment, enjoying the warmth of him against you and the feel of his embrace. He gave a contented hum, getting to hear your lovely voice so close, and only for him in this moment. In this moment you weren’t the newcomer that everyone felt the need to gawk at every time you entered a room with him, as selfish as it made him feel but at the same time, in this moment he wasn’t the people’s either. He was yours, and you were his. For a moment the world felt at peace. For a moment, all time seemed to stop around you and it was just the two of you here. It was calming, intimate even. Intimate in a way that for the first time, wasn’t sexual for a change. The closest he’d really ever gotten to intimacy without sex was aftercare, and even then, it came after sex so therefore it was still involved. But this? This was nice. Having you in his embrace, your head against his chest, not a wrinkle of worry evident on your face, and his only worry being if his heart was racing too harshly or too loud for you to be able to withstand.

Worry, why do I let myself worry?

Wonderin’ what in the world did I do?

Crazy, for thinkin’ that my love could hold you.

I’m crazy for tryin’, and crazy for cryin’

And I’m crazy for lovin’ you.

You supposed the song wasn’t wrong in a way, most people would call you crazy for falling in love with a ghoul, or trying to fall in love period as a ghoul. Most people knew them by the characteristic lack of smooth skin, sunken in and marred skin, missing noses and the potential that they turn feral at any moment. You would never listen to that though, as a ghoul you knew you came with ups and downs, but you never let that stop you from seeing the best in others just as you’d hope they would some day do for you in return. After all, you and John both have had your fair share of run ins with feral ghouls in your time traveling together, you both knew what to look out for. John wasn’t one of them, and he knew neither were you. It never mattered to you what someone looked like, you only cared whether they would care for you in return the same way you care for them. How big their heart is, how they treat you and others around them. John was a good man, you knew this from the first moment you met him. Sure, the first moment you’d met him he killed someone, but he killed someone who was trying to harm and haggle you the moment you first step foot into what you’d learned to be his town. He did it to protect you. He looks out for his people, wanting, and doing only what is best for them, helping them any way he can. Of the people, for the people he’d always say. It was that drive, that selflessness that attracted you to him, but also that he didn’t discriminate like the rest of the world seemed to. You couldn’t care less about how his skin was marred from the years of radiation exposure, how a deep hole sits where his nose once did. You saw John for the man he is, the heart he has, not just as the ghoul everyone else does. That’s what made you so likable in his eyes, you never judged. You never held a distaste for the fact that you were a ghoul, that he was one, or that you were surrounded by your fellow people of Goodneighbor who were also mostly ghouls. You had a good outlook on things but weren’t too gullible to be taken advantage of, something that not many people had these days. He also appreciated the way you never judged his habits. Never once in the amount of times that he would take a hit of jet, or pop a couple of mentats, hell even on the rare occasional use of psycho, did you ever once judge him. You didn’t have to partake with him, he’d never force you to, but the fact that you didn’t cringe when he would, the fact that you would never chew him out for it as if he didn’t know the consequences of his own actions. You respected him, respected his way of living, just as he respected you and yours.

He looked down at you, seeing your eyes light up as they met his with a smile spread across your lovely, maybe slightly chapped, lips. He smiled down at you, his hand leaving yours to cradle your cheek as he looked upon you with astonishment. How could someone like you, so loving, so caring, choose him? In a world full of people, granted he knew from experience that the pickings amongst those of the surface were less than stellar, yet you still chose him. A ghoul, when there are people out there that are still far more human looking. Hell, he was sure you could make a synth even grow a heart if you wanted it to and looked upon one the way you looked at him. Sure he would tease you for liking him, for befriending him, but it warmed his heart to know that out of anyone out there, you chose him as your battle partner, him to adventure with. He only hoped deep down that that friendship could be more.

And almost as if someone out there was listening to his thoughts, had heard his silent prayers, he watched as your eyes flickered between his hazy black ones and then to his thin, marred lips, with a look he recognized well. This was the moment that would lead to it all, the moment he’d been waiting for, dreaming about since starting to travel with you and partake in your company. It was truly all or nothing now.

Crazy, for thinkin’ that my love could hold you.

I’m crazy for tryin’, and crazy for cryin’

And I’m crazy for lovin’…

You.

He smiled a little wider when your hand came to cradle his cheek like he was doing with you as you were singing, pulling him even closer to you, if it was possible. Before he knew it, as you sang the last word of the song, your lips found their way to his once more, pressing gently against his own but with confidence and passion that showed him you wanted this. That you wanted him. His hand that was on your cheek soon came to rest against the back of the one you had on his, keeping you as close as he could get but also ensuring that this was real. He needed to know that this wasn’t a dream or some jet fueled fantasy he was in. And to his surprise and delight, it was in fact real. He reciprocated the kiss, finally breaking out of his momentary shock to pull you against him, your chests flush together as his other hand gripped your hip. You smiled into it as his tongue prodded at your lower lip, asking kindly to deepen the kiss into something more passionate. You opened, allowing it and allowing the moment to carry you both to wherever it may lead. Your free hand came to rest against his chest, fingers toying with the ruffles of his undershirt beneath the red jacket he always wore, earning a low, gravely groan from him that rattled his chest. As you both parted for air, he looked down to see that beautiful half lidded expression as he pressed his forehead against yours. “Tell me I’m not dreamin’” he said, breathlessly, almost as if he couldn’t believe that this was actually happening. His response made you chuckle. “I’d be really pissed if I was, that or damn impressed by what the chems you have can do” you quipped, making him laugh. “Me too. You feel real…real nice too” he complimented, his head ducking down to place small chaste kisses against your neck, always the charmer. You giggled. “Then I’d say it’s real” you replied, and those were the words he wanted to hear. He chuckled softly as he exhaled, relieved to know it was real.

He smiled but you could tell there was something eating at him, something he hadn’t said yet. You’d known Hancock long enough in the time you’d spent getting high with him and traveling the commonwealth with him to know his cues. Part of him hated the way that you could tell something was off, after all, he always wanted to keep this aloof front, like nothing ever bugged him but you knew that wasn’t true. Something was bugging him now. “There’s uhh…there’s something I need you to hear” he started, making you part enough to give him space, but not too far to make him feel like you weren’t there for him or put off by what he’d said. “Is everything alright?” You asked, concern in your tone that maybe you might have overstepped a boundary or assumed something incorrectly. “Oh yeah, better than that. This is just…tricky” he replied before giving a sigh, as if trying to get the tension to release from him with one breath. “It’s just, being out there with you, it’s made me realize. Most of my life to this point, I’ve been runnin’ out on the good things I got” he answered, but you could tell he wasn’t done yet, he had more to get off of his chest. “I skipped out on my family, my life in Diamond City. Took up with you just to get outta Goodneighbor. Hell, runnin’ from myself is what made me into…into a damn ghoul” he added, sounding upset at himself, and you wanted so badly in that moment to reach out and take his hand, do something to comfort him, but you wanted him to finish as to not overstep or rudely cut him off. “But bein’ here with you, for the first time in my life, things have just felt…right” he added, making you smile softly at that. You were happy you could be help and a good friend to him, even if you deep down wanted more than that. “And running? It’s the furthest thing from my mind. I mean, I left Goodneighbor thinkin’ I was just gonna sharpen up the ol’ killer instinct. But whether it’s fate, or destiny, or just god damn coincidence, I ended up with someone like you” he continued, making you smile once again, even brighter this time at him as you imagined a soft pink would have flushed to your cheeks had you had a smoother set of skin. “I turned one of the nastiest settlements in the commonwealth into a refuge for the lost. I thought I’d done something I could hang my hat on. But being out there with you, it’s made me realize just how small time I’d been thinkin’. And that maybe all my running, from my life, myself…maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing after all” he confessed, making you look slightly confused as to what he’d said.

“Running from yourself? What do you mean?” You asked, making him chuckle a bit as he thought of what to say to both be honest but also lighten the slightly damper mood up a little bit. He needed to see that smile back on your lips, when you smiled at him, it was like the world was no longer in shambles. He needed that, right now and until the end of his days because he swore no high from any chem out there compared to the one you’d give him. “Well, I didn’t always look this good. The drug that did this to me, that made me a ghoul, I knew what it was going to do. I just couldn’t stand lookin’ at the bastard I saw in the mirror anymore” he replied, making your heart break for him that he felt that way about himself, under all that confidence. “The coward who’d let all those ghouls from Diamond City die. Who was too scared to protect his fellow drifters from Vic and his boys. If I took it, I’d never have to look at him again. I could put all that behind me. I’d be free. Didn’t seem like a choice at all” he added. “Turns out it was just me runnin’ from somethin’ else in my life” he continued, sounding ashamed for his actions and his past, and you understood better than anyone what that felt like. You stepped a little closer to him to grab his hand in yours, an offering of comfort. “Hey, it doesn’t matter what you did. All that matters is what you do from here on out” you said confidently, something you always told yourself to keep your head high and keep going, making him chuckle. “I know a lotta bookies that’d disagree with you. But I feel what you’re gettin’ at. So let me get to the point” he said, grabbing your other hand in his as he looked at you, eye to eye now to show you what he was about to say next was very important to him.

“Throwin’ in with you, has been the best decision I ever made. It’s like I found a part of myself I never realized was missing…which happens sometimes when you’re a ghoul” he started, making you chuckle as you too knew that feeling all too well by now. “If I hadn’t taken up with you, I’d probably be in the gutter somewhere, getting gnawed on by radroaches. You’ve been one hell of a friend” he said, making you smile and chuckle at that, before you looked down at your hands held together, working up the courage to ask the question that had been plaguing your mind for ages now. This was it, this was the moment. “Have you…ever thought about us as maybe more than just friends?” You asked skittishly almost, hoping he’d say yes, praying he felt the same way. A part of you felt deep down like he did, call it hope, call it whatever, but you were never fully sure where you guys stood. You two flirted like he held interest, he looked out for you, invited you along for things that he’d really never invite anyone else to other than maybe Fehr, but it felt different when it was with you. There was a connection between you, that was undeniable, but what type of connection you were never sure of. He gave a chuckle at your question. “It that obvious? But c’mon, you don’t wanna wake up to this mug every morning. Never wish that on anyone I cared for” he replied, joking in that self deprecating manner he always did but answering your question nonetheless. “Hey, who I fall for is my decision, and I’ve fallen for you” you replied softly but with confidence, showing him that you meant it. “Wouldn’t expect that kinda lapse in judgement from you. But I guess that works out for me then, doesn’t it?” He asked with a happy smile, chuckling once more but you could tell that that comment did wonders to help him feel more at ease. “Moments like this, I know all that karma stuff is bull. Because no one like me should be this lucky” he added, making you chuckle in response as you came closer, looping your arms around his neck once again. “Sure you do. You deserve the world in my eyes, John” you said softly, genuinely as you looked up at him, your eyes promising nothing but love and support for his any and every endeavor. “I don’t need the world sunshine. I got you, what else could I need?” He replied, making you giggle as you rest your head against his chest. “So everything is okay between us then?” You asked, making him give a raspy huff in amusement. “I got you, everything else is just details and drug paraphernalia” he said, making you smile warmly as you chuckled once again at his corny line before leaning up and kissing him once more.

It wasn’t long before silence fell over the room long enough to hear the music playing from the jukebox once more. Once again, as if someone had been listening, it was a rather slow, very romantic song playing through the speakers.

Blue moon you saw me standing alone.

Without a dream in my heart,

Without a love of my own.

Blue moon, you knew just what I was there for.

You heard me saying a prayer for,

Someone I really could care for.

And then there suddenly appeared before me

The only one my arms will ever hold.

I heard somebody whisper “Please adore me”

You smiled into it as you both very quickly got swept back up into the moment with each other, his hands traveling the expanse of your curves slowly and softly, mapping out the valleys and plains of your body and to feel you against him. A mischievous grin took the place of the more innocent smile as you pulled away, gently pushing Hancock back to sit on his bed. He gave an equally mischievous grin and chuckle at your actions as you separated enough to take his hands and use them to slide the straps of your dress down your shoulders, allowing it to begin to fall down your frame. He gave a chuckle before whistling once it slipped from you, sitting in a red pool on the floor, leaving you in just your underwear as you stepped out of the discarded dress and straddled his lap on the bed.

And when I looked, the moon had turned to gold!

Blue moon!

Now I’m no longer alone

Without a dream in my heart

Without a love of my own

He grinned, his hands resting on your hips as yours sat on his collarbones, pulling him into another heated kiss. “Fuck…” was all he could manage to mutter into it, making you giggle as your hands wandered his frame. You smiled as you pulled back to enjoy the almost drunk look on his face as he drank you in. It was as if he didn’t know where to look or touch first, he was normally smooth and suave when it came to this sort of thing, but you were different than the rest. “You’ve got a wonderful way of making this ol’ ghoul feel like her old self again with that look” you replied, making him chuckle before clearing his throat. “What’s not to like there, sunshine? All I see is a badass, very beautiful woman sitting in front of me” he said, moving his hips against you and that told you all you needed to know as you chuckled before littering kisses down his scarred neck. “It ain’t exactly pretty underneath all this, you sure you still wanna do this?” He asked, making you look back up at him. “You kidding? Of course I do. Looks ain’t everything ya know” you said, making him laugh. “Says the model” he quipped, and you had to admit that it was sweet that he regarded you that way, but you knew you were no model. What you were though was true to your words when you undid the buttons to his undershirt and coat. You gave a laugh at his flirtation. “Yeah, maybe if a model spent too much time in a tanning bed” You replied, making him chuckle as you continued to litter your kisses down his chest after disposing of his top and coat, then down his stomach, and soon to where his pants sat at his hips. “Still gorgeous all the same to me” he said, and that made your heart flutter in your chest to hear. You couldn’t help the smile that painted your lips as you situated yourself on your knees between his legs.

Damn what a sight it was he’d thought to himself, seeing you on your knees before him, eagerly undoing the flag he used as a belt to free him from them and his briefs. You grinned up at him, getting them down and off, doing the same with your underwear, then happily taking your seat back on his lap. He gave a playful tap against your ass as you got situated, enjoying the nice handful that most ghouls weren’t blessed to still have once they’d reached this point. “I think you’re very handsome, John” you said genuinely, and god he could just melt from your compliments and tone. A moan rips from both of your throats as you grind against him, your slick cunt gliding along his length. “Fuck, oh no sweet cheeks, we’re doing this the right way” he said, making you cock your head to the side confused before he picked you up and put you on your back on the bed. You gave a playful yelp as he did before giggling as your back hit the mattress. “Wanna feel you and taste you first, get you all worked up. Somethin’ tells me you’re a sight to see when you’re all crazy for me” he said, making you swear you could actually blush for once as you let out a way louder moan than you meant to when one of his fingers grazed up and down your slit and found your clit almost immediately, drawing tight circles. Your hand clasped to your mouth immediately, knowing the walls were likely paper thin, but John seemed to have a better solution. He moved your hand away, leaning down to pull you into a heated kiss once more, muffling your moans to where they were just loud enough for him and him alone. It had been so long since you’d felt the touch of another, your scars usually keeping you from finding someone to help scratch that itch. There was the occasional crazy you’d run into that were hell-bent on trying to sleep with a ghoul to find out what it was like. You avoided those people the best you could because something told you that necrophilia didn’t exactly sit very highly on their never to do lists.

Soon his fingers moved down to prod at your entrance, pushing in slowly to allow you the chance to accommodate the intrusion. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as his roughly textured fingers began to piston in and out of you in a steady rhythm, sure to graze your walls to find that spongy bundle of nerves that would leave you crying his name. “Fuck, John…” you moaned, earning a low gravely groan from him. The way you said his name so salaciously went straight to his cock and made his head swim with all the ideas of how he could get you to say his name like that more. Soon his lips mimicked what you’d started earlier on him, trailing down your neck, stopping to tease and nip at your sensitive spots before moving down to take one of your nipples in his mouth. Your arms flew to cling around him, nails digging small crescent shapes into his back as you bit your lip so hard you were scared it would bleed. You were far more sensitive than you thought you’d be, even after ghoulification, apparently the loss of touch still left you as needy as before. “So good for me” he praised, making you whimper as his kisses dipped lower and lower. “Wanna taste you. Gotta know if you taste as sweet as you sound” he said, shifting in between your legs, kissing the insides of one of your thighs leading up to your sex before skipping to your other one, leaving you on edge. “John, don’t tease…” you mewled, making him chuckle at how eager you were. “You’re so cute, hard not to when you sound like that, sunshine” he replied before seeing just how wet you were for him. A sound of intrigue left him as he looked at his fingers once he withdrew them from you. “Tell me, this all for me?” He asked, pulling his fingers out and showing you your slick that clung to his fingers as he separated them, making you whine as you shake your head. “Yes, all for you John, please…” you begged, making him smirk as his fingers slid back inside of you with little resistance, and his tongue finally making contact against your sensitive clit. Your body arched off the bed for a moment, biting back another loud cry as his tongue started to circle your clit. “Fuck! Oh my god” you let out, making him chuckle as the pads of his fingers found your g-spot, rubbing it as his tongue drew all sorts of letters and shapes along your sensitive bud. Your breathing started to turn ragged, your mind blank, you could hardly think of anything other than the whispered expletives and cries of his name that left your lips like a mantra. “Keep sayin’ my name sweetheart, tell ‘em who makes you feel this good” he said with a cocky grin as he dove back into you like a man starved. To think, he could’ve had this the entire time you’d been traveling together, he was at least lucky to have it now.

“Just like that, just like that! Fuck…” you moaned, feeling the ache in your lower stomach start to burn and grow taut. It had been so long since you’d been with someone, and even longer since you’d been with someone who actually could help you reach your peak. Your hips began to buck selfishly against his fingers and tongue, making him moan into you as you used him. “That’s it baby, use me. Wanna hear that pretty mouth moan my name when you cum” he said, making you focus on chasing that high, god you were so fucking close, you could feel it. He peered up at you, watching as your face contorted with pleasure, calculating and changing his movements based on your expressions and sounds. You gasped as he started to draw tight circles around your clit with his tongue, curling his fingers inside of you to rub your g spot once more. “John I…fuck, I think I’m gonna- John!” You moan in warning the best you could before your orgasm washed over you like a tidal wave, sending your back arching off the bed and your thighs squeezing and trapping his head between your legs. He moaned into you as your body was savaged by what felt like every nerve ending lighting on fire all at once. He couldn’t care less if you suffocated him like this, even with no nose to get caught or crushed, he’d consider it an honorable way to go out. You tried to steady your breathing as best you could, finding it hard to open your eyes even, but when you did, you realized he was still trapped between your legs. “Oh fuck, I’m so sorry!” You apologized, opening your legs to let him free and breathe, whining as his fingers left you with that disappointingly empty feeling. “Don’t you dare apologize, being crushed between these is one hell of a dream come true” he said, making you roll your eyes playfully and laugh at his response. Your hand reached out to yank him back up onto the bed, finding your spot once again straddling him. He groaned low in his throat as your hands stroked him, his one hand resting on your hip, squeezing every now and again. “Drivin’ me crazy here sunshine, might just be enough to make me turn feral if you’re not careful” he said, making you chuckle as you kissed him once more, your taste still heavy on his tongue but you didn’t care. You delighted in the moans coming from him as your tongues fought for dominance over each other. Your head dipped into the crook of his neck, peppering kisses along his neck and collarbone. “Need you so bad, John” you said, voice no louder than a breathless whisper as he chuckled. “I dunno, judging by your reaction I figured my mouth was enough. I’m just kiddin’. Think you can handle it, sweet cheeks?” He asked, making you grin as you lined him up to your entrance, slowly working your way down onto his member. “You tell me” you challenged in response as he stretched you open, fuck it’s really been a long time. “Touché- fuuucckk. Goddamn baby…” he groaned as your needy cunt slowly sucked him in, careful to stop once he’d fully sheathed inside of you. “Fuck…” you panted, feeling him fill you entirely, his tip nudging the apex of your cervix.

“It’s uhh…it’s been quite a while since the last time I did this, but I wanna make you feel good” you said, and that ruined him entirely. How could someone so sweet be speared on his cock right now? He’d never know but he’d thank every god out there until the end of his days for it. “That’s alright baby, just not sure I have it in me to be gentle or stop once I’ve started there sugar” he said, grabbing your hips to help you start a good pace, leaving you to moan loudly as his cock nudged your cervix. “Don’t care, gentle can come some other time. Fuck, you feel so good…” you moaned as you met his hips with your own thrusts, taking over and setting the pace as you bounced up and down on his lap. “Love the way you think babe. Shit… tell me what you need sunshine” he said between pants and the sounds of your hips slapping together. “Need you, need you so bad John, please” you begged, trying your best to keep quiet but you both knew that ship sailed a while ago. Whenever your legs grew tired, he was there to grip your hips and help you move, making your eyes roll once again to the back of your head as you’d moan. When you would tip your head back, he’d lean his forward to catch one of your nipples in his mouth, sucking and licking at it to pull you closer to the edge.

He pistoned his hips up into you, all sense of restraint and control lost in the feeling of your gummy walls wrapped tightly around him. You gasped as you felt that sensation in your lower stomach again, getting tighter and tighter as he worked you both to your peak. “Yes! Fuck, so close, don’t stop!” You moaned, making him chuckle deviously. “Wouldn’t dream of it sugar, feel too good to stop” he replied through gruff grunts and soft moans into your shoulder before parting to look down to where your bodies were connected and watch as he disappeared inside of you. “Look at that, that’s a pretty sight” he said, praising the way you’d take all of him with ease and the way your thighs would jiggle as you hungrily bounced on his dick. His eyes raked up your frame to rest on your face, delighted to find your eyes rolled back once your were seated on him, then half lidded when you’d come up, and that happily little cock-drunk smile on your lips before it’d drop to let out a blissful moan. You were music to his ruined ears, and like the chems he took before this, he just couldn’t get enough. His thumb found your clit once more, earning a surprised jump and moan from you as he rubbed it to help you tip over the edge. He couldn’t just let himself cum before his girl did, what kind of man would that make him? Not a very good one at all, he reasoned. Before you knew it, you were toppling over that edge again, holding tightly onto him as your walls spasmed and fluttered around him before squeezing him tightly, making him moan as your release sparked his own. He moaned into your neck as you threw your head back with a lascivious moan, enjoying the pleasant sensation of him filling you up whilst his hands held you seated in his lap. You gave a contented hum, enjoying the feeling of being so full of love, of him. You smiled as he looked back up at you, kissing you sweetly and gently as if he wasn’t balls deep inside of you with his cum leaking down your thighs. He was a man of many capabilities, and certainly was one capable of making you happy in many different ways.

“And to think, I’d been missin’ out on all this this whole time” he joked, making you laugh as you got up to fetch a wet rag to clean yourself and him off with. “Well, now you know” you teased, a grin resting on your face as he snuck up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist as he hugged you from behind. He rested his chin along your shoulder as you stood in the connected bathroom, debating on whether you wanted to have a nice bath, or if you just wanted to lay in bed and cuddle with him to bask in the after glow. “Don’t know which is more addicting; you, or the chems” he said, knowing damn well that you were far more addicting to him but he enjoyed the playful way it’d get you to respond. “Tough competition, guess I’ll have to let you do me as often as the chems” you said, looking at him from over your shoulder and making him laugh at your dirty comment. “Don’t threaten me with a good time” he said, mischief evident in his tone as you felt something press against your rear. With the devious glint in his eyes and a grin to match, he led you back to his bed. Clearly he needed to test your offer.

[always-andromeda]

Hi, I was wondering if you still take requests? If you don't that is perfectly okay with me, I don't mind! But if you can, would you be willing to write headcanons or something about Javier Peña (Narcos) with an s/o that doesn't really like pda or super affectionate stuff? Again, if you don't want to you don't have, I'm fine either way! (really trying hard not to sound like I'm peer pressuring you or being passive aggressive 😣) but, yeah, like if you ever have time.. thank you so much!

𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 ⟡ Javier Peña x F!Reader

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 ⟡ 600

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 ⟡ Javier learns the different ways of seeing a romantic relationship, or, a drabble about Javier being with a significant other who isn't quite comfortable with his usual charms.

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 ⟡ Oh, my sweet anon, you don't sound passive aggressive or anything of the sort whatsoever!! If anything, I apologize for taking so long to get to this. I've been trying to urge myself back into writing a little bit more and this was a nice little challenge to help me reach that goal. I've been obsessed with Gia Margaret's album, Romantic Piano, these days and I ended up listening to Ways of Seeing on repeat while prattling down these ideas, so naturally, I've named this piece after that song. This isn't my favorite thing I've ever written? But it's been a hot second since I've been regularly writing fanfic so forgive me lmao.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ⟡ slightly established relationship, Javier crosses a physical boundary, allusions to Javi and reader having a sexual relationship but nothing explicit is described (regardless, minors, please do not interact), overall fluff and healthy communication

He wasn’t used to this. Any of it, really. Having a lady friend was a new one and by far the most surprising turn of his life at that point. But a lady friend who shrugged off his little touches like he was a pesky insect was another thing. At first he figured it was a reputation thing. Having him slung around you in the halls wouldn’t attract the good kind of attention for either of you. He could handle the jabs and jokes; he always had.

It’s why he hadn’t thought too much about it the first time he caught you in front of the copier and placed a hand on your hip. “What’s that you’re working on, querida?” he’d asked in that low, gravelly tone of his that usually drove you wild.

He swore he felt you jump; momentarily startled before you straightened your shoulders and pushed them back. He couldn’t see your expression, but he already knew he wouldn’t find an ounce of reciprocation to his teasing there anyways when you answered firmly, “Messina asked for copies of this report. She’s got a meeting in twenty minutes.”

Javier’s hand slid around your front, fingers playing at the edges of your top. “You think that’d be enough time?” he mumbled.

You swirled around on your heel and glared at him with a raised eyebrow, “For what exactly?”

“I thought that we had something going…?”

“Just because we have something going it doesn’t just give you the freedom to accost me whenever you want.”

Javier took a step back and folded his arms, getting ready to rocket into defensiveness. 

Before he could get a word in, you continued, “I know that you’re comfortable with the flirting and the teasing…but I’m not. It’s fine when it’s just the two of us.” You struggled to get an accurate grasp of your words, “But outside of that…it’s just…uncomfortable? Do you get that?”

His stomach sank as he was reminded of the type of men he’d helped put away in the past. The kind who had no regard for anyone or anything aside from their own wants. He thought of those butterflies in his chest whenever he caught your eye from across a room. How they glittered with the allusion of a secret; that secret being something special that only you and him shared. Your eyes were now shadowed with a layer of caution. How quickly those butterflies of his had turned into an invasive species.

He slowly raised his hands, admitting defeat before divulging, “I apologize. I– I didn’t mean to overstep.”

You blinked a few times before turning back around and grabbing the stack of fresh papers from the printer. “I think we should set some boundaries.”

“Boundaries? What kind of boundaries?”

“Well…for now…let’s keep the public displays of affection at a minimum. Can we do that?”

“Of course. Whatever you need. I hear you,” Javier nodded firmly.

As you started to tell him goodbye and head towards Messina’s office, one more thought popped into his mind. He reached forward to place a hand on you before stopping himself and clearing his throat instead. “Wait–”

“Yeah?”

The corner of his lip curled up into a smug smile. “Just to be clear…we’re still okay on the private displays of affection, right?”

You rolled your eyes and replied, “We’re alright in that department, Peña, don’t you worry.”

“Sounds good, keep me posted if anything changes,” he said with a quick wink before sauntering away, leaving you cradling the warm papers against your chest, knowing that you could tell him if anything did change.

[alaskan-wallflower]

You asked for Curtis bros and you shall receive 🤭

-Chronically bad vision. All of them. And I think it goes " Ignores it->Contacts-Glasses" in that order (Oldest to youngest)

-They all enjoy different types of art, and will support eachother constantly in the matter. I also believe it goes painting/sewing->doodling/drawing->Writing (same order)

-Ponyboy makes good money when he's older and is able to send Darry into a very early retirement 🥲

-Darry gets a father's day breakfast in bed every year. Even if he isn't their father, they want to appreciate him in some way+ also honor the tradition they had with their actual dad when he was alive.

-Whenever Darry shows up to parent/teacher meetings or just any school event he gets hit on by all the moms, and Ponyboy is absolutely MORTIFIED. Darry thinks it's funny and sometimes he plays into it a little. Just to irk pony more.

-Introvert(good with people)->Extrovert(Bad with people)->Ambivert. (same order)

-I like to think Soda introduced Dally to the gang, and that both Pony and Darry thought they were dating, and were like "It's alright if you...ya know. but..him?" Soda had to defend his life against these allegations but everyone ended up liking salt a whole lot anyway.

-The Curtis Brothers have "family meetings" where it's just the three of them sitting around a table and complaining about each other for like twenty minutes straight 😭 sometimes other members of gang will be there and when they try to speak during the meeting, all three of the brothers will turn on them.

-Soda spent two whole days being consoled and comforted because he was crying over some dumb broad(it was Steve) and I think both Darry and Ponyboy knew this but to make Soda feel better they'd just stick with the lie.

-Darry can cook, and Ponyboy can bake and soda does a damn good job with the dishes so sometimes when they're all feeling up for it, meals are heavenly. Dinner, then dessert, then a movie.

-They're all super competitive, so everything's a competition. Who can brush their teeth the fastest, who can finish their meals faster, who can get to the car first.

-Ponyboy loves books and reading, as we've come to learn, so his optimal gift for any holiday or event is just books. His Christmas list? Books he wants. He enjoys this because it's inexpensive, good entertainment, easily attainable, and something he actually enjoys.

-When soda and Darry were little(Pony was just a baby) they would blame everything on pony 😭 stuff on the wall? How'd pony get a marker? A mess in the kitchen? Who left pony alone? This backfired once pony was old enough to speak and started rating them out for every conceivable thing they could do, even when they werent doing anything wrong. "Mama, Darry got himself a glass of water." "Mama, Sodas coloring. What? No not on the wall. Just in his notebook but,"

-Never Cries->Cries over everything->Cries when it matters(Same order)

-If Darry comes home after a hard day and Pony and Soda knew it was a hard day, sometimes there will be a bath drawn and a nice clean house and a half-decent dinner on the table. They really care about him but it's so hard to show it.

-Thats all. Have a nice day :')

(nearly accidentally posted this w/out anything attached NO)

but OHHH YES-i ate this upppp thank you!

the three definitely make everything a competition, they totally do. they’re just boys lmao also pony with glasses UGHHHH I NEED TO DRAW ITTT-y’all need to stop diving me art ideas (don’t it’s actually really fun and keeps art block away-but also i love how the fandom just agrees soda is a huge crybaby-them blaming everything on baby pony is so real, pony doesn’t even know how to write and soda has clear ink on his hands from drawing on the walls and all fingers go to pony who’s probably sitting there drooling on himself because he’s 1 😭 also the moms fully being 20-30+ his. senior is so funny to me because they’ll ask for his age and he’s like ‘i’m 20’ and they’re like 😨”-also them being artsy AHH-you’re gonna make me fall more in love with those dumbasses

these are incredible in my gosh-thank youuuu!! if anyone else has any hcs they wanna share my inbox is WIDE open!

[upslapmeal]

Space Babies

Ok so I've been hopeless at doing my usual Episode Thoughts during s14 but if I don't get them posted before the finale then I never will. SO. the next few days will be a trip down memory lane to a whole 6 weeks ago before I'm off to the cinema on friday night!

here we goooo

no cold open we’re going straight in babes (heh)

I know we had it last ep but I do love a good seeing-the-tardis-for-the-first-time face

‘I’m the doctor’ yes you are!!

man I wasn’t a huge fan of 15's theme just hearing on its own in the concert but hearing it in context with him it works SO well

‘kinda posh’

‘they used titles’ and then i kidnapped a couple of teachers, told one to drop the 'Foreman' and the rest is history

ngl I've totally lost track of the gallifrey sitch

the master was going to blow it up then he didn't then the Doctor was going to then some guy stayed behind instead and then flux??

whatever we're back to last-of-my-kind square one

this is gallifrey theme my beloved how I have missed you

Martha and Bill yelling I told you so in the distance about the butterfly

‘Rubathon Blue of the 57th hemisphere hatchlings’ good to know I've got my Ruby tag sorted early doors!

anyway alien companion when

ooh they're going for a flying tardis

love fifteens energy!!

‘most of the universe is knackered babes’

‘the question is why did I run’ Doctor running is a key part of your whole deal. you know this right

‘yet again push the button’………when was the first time

(I have since learned there was meant to be a song on the jukebox that tied to this...would have been nice to see the jukebox being used. and also would have made these comments make sense)

…..baby looms?

‘food????? they’re not tomatoes!!’ lmao Fifteen is SO outraged

oh Ruby’s getting an End of the World moment <3

‘no boss or rent or taxes’ yeah forget time and space travel, NOW Ruby's thinking she's gotta get in on this

oh that baby is unsettling

oh no that baby mouth does not match that voice 

‘mummy and daddy are here!’ Ruby and Fifteen: 😬

it's so weird having fairly confident small child voices paired with very vacant baby faces

.....do these babies have nappies? that they change??

aww you can really see Ruby is used to kids, lifetime as a foster sister <3

ok Captain Poppy is the only voice so far that kinda works

‘oh popsicle’ naww Fifteen is so sweet with them

Fifteen and Poppy are so cute!!

also lol I love RTD going hard with the timeless child at every opportunity

‘nappies are changed at 1800h’ ok well that explains that

Ruby: ‘I didn’t mean to scare you 💞’ Fifteen: 'hey kids it's the BOGEYMAN!!!!!!' Ruby: 😠

ok listen. I know this is not it. but the boots and the length of the trousers.......Ruby's mum kinda looks like Thirteen

oh that's very much a hug-is-a-way-to-hide-your-face hug there

‘that’s the fate of every refugee, you have to physically turn up on someone’s shore’

Eric and the world’s most tiny and useless sword

‘a crock of waste product'

‘nice plan but what now' Ruby hon. this was your plan

you can really tell Ruby is used to looking after kids

‘don’t you touch them you illegitimate person’

FLAMETHROWER BABIES

oh Fifteen knows Ruby’s a keeper

‘oh babes…space babes’ lol Fifteen's just here to have fun (space) baby

‘it’s snot’ ‘it’s not’ the beauty of the english langauge

‘it is one of your children!!’ :(

even the (space) babies think that death by airlock disintegration a bit much

awooooooo!

I guess seeing the doctor save the bogey monster made them less scared??

appreciate RTD's commitment to getting some good fart work in both his first series of this show lol

but what will happen to the monster on the new planet??

like sure it's their sibling but.....does it know that?

‘I’m very very happy’ says the baby with the most sorrowful eyes I’ve ever seen

tardis key!!

Ruby letting 15 into the tardis <3

RIP Carla Sunday's kitchen ceiling 

first a crack and now this......at least the Doctor's giving the local plasterer good work

‘what the blinking flip’ Cherry Sunday's got a nanny filter on her

‘tell your mum not to slap me’ Thirteen got off light with Yaz’s mum

now when are we meeting the timelord called The Saggy Sheet??

the Doc's just going around giving their name willy nilly now lmao

as it should be I never enjoyed their name being a Big Mystery

kinda wish we got to see Ruby's family react to learning more about the Doctor!

hmmmm the dna scan is giving me v s6 vibes (derogatory)

Well that was a weird one, but since when hasn't DW been weird! Ngl it took me watching a second time to enjoy it a bit more because I was just SO thrown off by the baby voices lmao, but it was just generally a fun time, nothing too serious and just a chance to see a bit more of Fifteen and Ruby's dynamic! And it did tie in nicely to the ideas of Ruby and the Doctor both being abandoned, Ruby being a foster sister and the Doctor being the last of their kind. Two baby episodes in a row is enough for me though, glad it looks like next ep is baby-free, space or otherwise 😅

[gayalanwake]

hey guys so I’m crazy

I KNOW NOBODY GAF i am hyperfixated with literally have no other outlet to unleash my Demons

okay so basically this isn’t like a “normal” playlist (i have one but it’s private as of rn)- it’s basically like. 2 songs per chapter. In order. like the first two songs are about chapter one, the next two songs are about chapter two, etc etc etc. HOWEVERRR I’m not adding songs for chapters that aren’t released, because they can give vague spoilers. HOWEVERRR (again) I went ahead and added the Chapter 10’s songs anyways for fun :3

im not done lol here is an analysis of every song so far bc again im hyperfixated to high hell and this took 15 hours to organize. HEART EMOJI

(Chapter One)

Welcome to Paradise:

WTP is obviously an ironic song.

Pay attention to the cracked streets

And the broken homes

Some call it slums, some call it nice

I want to take you through

A wasteland I like to call my home

Welcome to paradise

This doesn’t need explaining as to why it’s relevant to B&BH lmao. But if you view these lyrics through their perspectives, the song loses its ironic tone. This wasteland of theirs probably GENUINELY IS paradise for them. It’s kinda comedic.

However, in this song, the narrator is speaking to his mother, asking if she can hear him “whining” as well as “laughing.” And viewing that through B&BH’s perspectives adds the slightest bit of tension- a tension that is very relevant and that will be harder to hide as the story progresses.

Another thing- this song being the first on this playlist is also part of the irony, with “paradise” referencing the plot that’s about to unfold, which takes place nowhere near any kind of paradise.

Come Out and Play:

This song is supposed to initially come off as a nothing more than a reference to B&BH being deranged teenagers. And for the most part, it is. It’s placed in Chapter 1 for a reason: Nothing’s happened yet, this is just B&BH as we know them. AKA, deranged teenagers.

However! Some of the lyrics do hint at what’s to come.

It goes down the same as the thousand before

No one's getting smarter, no one's learning the score

Your never-ending spree of death and violence and hate

Is gonna tie your own rope, tie your own rope, tie your own...

Hey, man, you disrespecting me?

Take him out (you gotta keep 'em separated)

Hey, man, you talkin' back to me?!

Take him out (you gotta keep 'em separated)

Over and over and over again are B&BH going to fight each other because of- unbeknownst to them- their suppressed romantic feelings. and it’s frustrating to watch because their self-destruction is so clear and yet they remain blinded by and to their own dysfunction. This is symbolized in the song, where the narrator has called out the teenagers’ destructive behavior more than once but is continuously interrupted mid-sentence by the cycle of needless violence that never seems to end (is gonna tie your own rope, tie your own rope, tie your ownHEY!!!! MAN YOU TALKING BACK TO ME???). Nothing is getting through. Nobody’s learning.

But you probably shouldn’t separate them.

(Chapter Two)

Fat Lip:

Okay this one is not that deep LMAOOO. Unlike Come Out and Play, this one is purely about them being deranged teenagers, bc this chapter focuses more heavily on their antics.

All The Small Things:

This chapter plays out like any normal day for these characters, and because of that, it may seem like pointless. But what it’s meant to do is serve as a reference point (all of the first three chapters are, actually). What that means is that the more the plot and B&BH will spiral, these first 3 chapters are a reminder of what once was, and they go from funny to bittersweet.

ATST is about how while this chapter is more so slice of life, the “small things” are nevertheless really important to these two. AKA, this is their ten-thousandth uneventful day together, but they’re together, and that’s what they care about. I am making no sense . Fuck it we ball

(Chapter Three)

My Hero:

Reminder that Chapter 3 is the chapter when Beavis falls down the stairs and Butt-Head starts tweaking. This song is meant to be taken through Beavis’ perspective.

There goes my hero

Watch him as he goes

There goes my hero

He's ordinary

This song in the context of the fic appears to be nothing more than a sarcastic jab. Like wow Butt-Head what a great fucking hero you are. However, we know that as much as Beavis talks shit to Butt-Head, there is a very strong love within him. He will never admit it, but this guy IS his hero. This song is genuine, and Beavis doesn’t know it. We have genuine love that is being sarcastically sung. Have you guys caught on that im bad at explaining things. This is a lot better in my head

Where Are You Going:

Meanwhile! This song is through Butt-Head’s perspective!

I am no Superman

I have no reasons for you

I am no hero

Oh, that's for sure

But I do know one thing

Is where you are is where I belong

I do know where you go

That's where I want to be

see why i bolded those lines LMAO

He’s Beavis’s hero… but Butt-Head is no hero. He loves Beavis, but he is also an unhealed, traumatized victim of Joanna. He is terrifyingly emotionally stunted, violence is always his answer, and much, much more. I mean goddamn he was this close to KILLING Beavis in this chapter- not that it’s the first time either of them have tried to or have indirectly nearly caused each other’s demise and not given one singular fuck (except for the episodes Take A Bow and The Day Butt-Head Went Too Far). And in the song, the lyrics just straight up state this (again, I am no hero).

And like Beavis in the last song, these meaning of these lyrics are also something Butt-Head “doesn’t know.” At least, not consciously. He is no hero. He is cruel, borderline barbaric, oh, that’s for sure. But the love he has for Beavis is literally life-defining. Where you are is where I belong, no matter where that is, even if it’s in hell. This song represents Butt-Head’s constant psychological battle between the love he feels and the person he was abused into becoming. (Note: this symbolism can also be applied to Beavis).

(Chapter Four)

Highway to Hell:

haha look it’s the guy named butthole’s song

I’ll try to keep this one short. This song is referencing their antics at the beginning of the chapter (aka, robbery LMAO). But… also… they are literally on a highway to hell, since at the end of the chapter is the cuddling scene that sets everything off.

I’m So Into You:

not a lot to say here either! I actually already talked about this song before (on a post I cannot find! eye twitching). The lyrics are self-explanatory.

I'm so into you

I don't know what I'm gonna do

Boy, you got me so confused

I don't know what I'm gonna do

The song is also about pining for a man who is already in a relationship, which is fitting, since this is the chapter where Butt-Head meets Hannah.

(Chapter Five)

So Much To Say:

I have also spoken about this song before! And while it’s mentioned in Chapter Seven, it’s referencing the events in Chapter Five, which is why I made it Ch. 5’s song. Okay anyways

I say my hell is the closet, I'm stuck inside

haha get it. gay. okay anyways

Can't see the light

Keep it locked up inside

Don't talk about it

T-T-Talk about the weather

Yeah, yeah, yeah

What were they doing in Chapter Five again??? Ohh yeahhh keeping their feelings abt the prior night locked up inside and talking about the weather instead. It’s simple and straight-forward but fits so perfectly i love it so much lmao

Take On Me:

okay so I will be completely honest here. I stole the idea of using this song for emo reasons from The Last of Us 2 LMAOOOOO

Youtuber TLOU Explained did a beautiful analysis video on the relationship between Ellie and Dina, the game’s main characters. In one scene, Ellie sings an acoustic version of “Take On Me” to Dina, and TLOU Explained describes the song’s meaning as this,

“I also think the lyrics of this song are especially poignant, summarizing Ellie and Dina’s relationship in just one line. Ellie sings, ‘Take me on,’ including all of her grief and baggage, everything that she is now, which Dina has already shown that she’s willing to do and will do for as long as she can. Ellie sings, ‘I’ll be gone in a day or two,’ and tragically, in two days from now, the Ellie that Dina knows and loves will be gone.”

I’m only mentioning this because that video is what made me realize what the writers of The Last of Us 2 were doing- what these lyrics, sung in an upbeat tone, can symbolize in a more tragic way. And I don’t want people to think I came up with the idea of using “Take On Me” in a serious way because i absolutely did not LMAO (Note: I wouldn’t do this if this story was an original project. This is just a fanfiction, so I don’t mind taking inspiration from The Last of Us 2 so directly).

Anyways, this song is meant to represent the end of Chapter Five, when Beavis finally recalls what happened the night before and is wrestling with the weight of it all. Using such a fun song seems ironic, but 1) I am a sucker for upbeat songs playing during dramatic moments (i.e., the song “Our Love” in Episode 2 of Arcane). 2) Like I already explained, the lyrics mean more than they appear.

In the context of the fic, the verse, “Take me on,” is a dare. It’s a dare to both characters. Take on what happened between us. I dare you. I dare you to take on what it means to be in love with someone like me. Take me on.

I'll be gone

In a day or two

(Chapter Six)

Bullet With Butterfly Wings:

While both characters can work with this song, this chapter is about Butt-Head being more awful than usual to Beavis, who is trying his best to get back to normal. So, this song is about Beavis.

The world is a vampire

Sent to drain

And Butt-Head is Beavis’ world.

(I feel like the rest of the lyrics don’t really need explaining lmao)

Smile Like You Mean It:

Not too much to say here! The title of the song alone pretty much sums it up. These two (Beavis, especially) are trying to act like everything is okay, but it’s not. They’re “smiling,” but they’re not meaning it.

(Chapter Seven)

In The End:

Once again, this song was mentioned in Chapter Eight, but it’s about Chapter Seven, so that’s why it’s here.

This one is basically Beavis’ breaking point. He’s tried and tried and tried to get things back to normal, and Butt-Head is being everything but cooperative. The last song, “Smile Like You Mean It” is like his final Hail Mary, he’s demanding himself to “smile” like he means it. But in “In The End,” he’s completely given up on trying to fix things. Well, not really. We know that Beavis would never actually give up on Butt-Head. But emotions are high, he’s pissed, and Butt-Head is continuously making everything worse.

How long will he last

Before he's a creep in the past

And you're alone once again?

Will you pop up again

And be my special friend

'Til the end?

And when will that be?

I figured out what you're all about

And I don't think I like what I see

So I hope I won't be there in the end

If you come around

No More Like That:

This song is through Butt-Head’s perspective, and it’s almost a whiplash. The song is a slow, depressing ballad, which is 1) in stark contrast to the prior song, and 2) doesn’t match Butt-Head at all. But it’s representing how Butt-Head put himself aside at the end of this chapter to try to fix things with Beavis. The song is different, and so is Butt-Head’s behavior.

You know you're breaking my heart

And I'm coming apart

Calling in sick

(Chapter Eight)

Hook:

oooo one of my favorites lmao

Okay, so if you’re unaware of this song, its point is that it’s pointless. These are literally the lyrics:

It doesn't matter what I say

So long as I sing with inflection

That makes you feel I'll convey

Some inner truth or vast reflection

But I've said nothing so far

And I can keep it up for as long as it takes

And it don't matter who you are

If I'm doing my job then it's your resolve that breaks

Because the Hook brings you back

I ain't tellin' you no lie

The Hook brings you back

On that you can rely

In the context of this fic, it’s meant to call attention to how this is pretty much the state Beavis and Butt-Head are in right now. Sure, they’re no longer fighting, but have they… actually resolved anything? They didn’t directly confront the issue, and more so swept everything under the rug in an attempt to get things back to how they were. They’ve said nothing so far, but the hook brings them back, the hook being the somewhat familiarity that has returned. It doesn’t matter how shaky or unstable it is, it’s familiar, it’s the hook, and it keeps bringing them back. It doesn’t matter what they say, as long as they sing with inflection. You get it lmao. This is a banger song btw i highly recommend it

Mt. Washington:

This one is about the end of the chapter, where Beavis has a breakdown over his mother.

Face stained in the ceiling

Why does it keep saying?

I don't have to see you right now

I don't have to see you right now

This part is literal. Beavis literally stares at the ceiling the entire night instead of sleeping.

Digging like you can bury

Something that cannot die

We could wash the dirt off our hands now

Keep it from living underground

This is a call to how Beavis has suppressed everything about his mother. What she has done, what she has not done, Shirley herself. Shirley cannot die, yet Beavis keeps digging.

Lazy summer goddess

You can tell our whole empire

I don't have to see you right now

I don't have to see you right now

“Goddess” being Shirley, for she is weirdly like a divine figure to him. She has hurt him over and over again, telling him, “I don’t have to see you right now,” and yet he clings onto her.

The rest of the song repeats the verse, I don’t have to see you right now. The instruments get louder, the singer starts shouting, everything starts getting faster. It’s like a spiral. Beavis is spiraling.

(Chapter Nine)

Here Before:

This one is Van Driessen’s relationship to Beavis and Butt-Head and how he sees their mothers in everything they do, how they have been here before.

Once I had a child

He was wilder than moonlight

He could do it all

Like he'd been here before

This is about Beavis and Shirley. Wilder than moonlight (Interesting… moonlight isn’t that wild). He could do it all. She could do it all.

Then I had a child

Took his while like northern summer

And he knows it all

Like he's been here before

This is about Butt-Head and Joanna. Took his while like northern summer. He knows it all. Joanna knew it all (We see this trait in the way she talks to Van Driessen in the Chapter 8 flashback) (And of course, in reality, Butt-Head and Joanna do not know it all. It’s the exact opposite. But in their minds, it’s very true).

Somethin’ Stupid:

And of course, the love ballad between a man and a woman is about Butt-Head and Hannah. orrrrrrr is it LOL

The time is right, your perfume fills my head

The stars get red, and, oh, the night's so blue

And then I go and spoil it all

By saying somethin' stupid like, "I love you"

Something interesting here, is why would saying, “I love you,” spoil anything? The narrators are clearly in love. They are on a date, singing fondly of the experience and of one another. But in the context of the fic, as we know, Hannah saying, “I love you,” does. spoil. everything.

And the sentence repeats itself, over and over again. It’s a sweet, genuine echo in Hannah’s head. But for Butt-Head, the echo is a slow, suffocating realization.

"I love you"

"I love you"

"I love you"

"I love you"

aaaaaaand unless I’ve been executed by the state i will go off about the rest of the songs when the chapters are released. BUH BYEEEEEEEEEE

[jackfrombaskinrobbins]

matt murdock as your legal guardian headcanons :)

type of writing: headcanons / scenario

word count: 1.15k

request: yes / no

dynamic: matt murdock x teen!reader

characters: reader, matt murdock, foggy nelson, karen page

a/n: ik this isn't a request, but it's something i think about a lot!! i had to get it out lol. i was originally gonna use a more aesthetic picture but then i found this & it was too cute not to include lol <3 also requests are still open! just send in an ask :)

taglist: @nutellani (fill out this form if you'd like to be included!)

-----------------------✰----------------------

first i’m gonna explain how matt murdock actually became your legal guardian.

because i just want to establish that lol

so your parents were involved with wilson fisk.

you had no idea about this of course, since you were very young when they were still involved in his business.

and btw when i say business i mean like his shady dealings

you were kind of left on your own a lot as a kid. you didn’t really mind it, and figured out how to entertain yourself.

however, when you were five years old, you returned home to find a truly awful crime scene.

you would learn much later in life that your parents had decided to report fisk, but before they were able to do so, he had them killed.

the perp was still there, and almost got you. however, a man with a black mask over his eyes was able to stop him for a second, yelling at you to run.

so you did. 

you ended up at an orphanage, but one day, a blind man came in looking to adopt.

you felt an immediate connection, and he adopted you when you were six. 

you’ve been inseparable ever since!!!

he told you all about your parents when you were older btw

anyways so now onto the fun stuff!!

one perk of living with matt is that your room is bomb.

bc his apartment is lowkey the coolest

if you like to visualise like i do, i imagine that your room is like next to the closet where he keeps the daredevil stuff

RANDOM LITTLE DETAIL LOL

anyways it’s super cosy

and you also can basically see in the dark because even though it doesn’t matter if the lights are on, matt tells you to keep them off because then the electric bill will stay low 

you called him a cheapskate but he said that was rude :(

you still did it though #rebel 🥶🥶🥶

you guys bully each other all the time

it’s the way you bond :)

you go to the nelson & murdock offices after school or during the summers.

you have your own little desk there!

one time you said it was too distracting and so foggy bought a privacy folder for you LMAO

needless to say it didn’t help at all

most of the clients are really nice and they’ll ask you about school and life and stuff

you kind of put them at ease

you tried to talk to matt about him being kind of intimidating but he didn’t want to hear it.

and then foggy kept asking why you didn’t think HE was intimidating.

“i mean come on y/n! have you SEEN this face? matt has a little baby face compared to mine!!”

you laughed so hard omg

matt calls you if he needs anything or if you need to tell him something, but you mostly just text foggy to keep them both updated

in my mind, foggy texts like five texts for one sentence

he uses every emoji twice

and every time he uses an abbreviation he always capitalizes it and puts the real meaning in parentheses next to it

here is an example

“hi y/n. hope your day is going well 😃😃 matt and i just won our case 😎😎 so we are going to go to josie’s tonight to celebrate!!!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🥳🥳 let me know if you need anything from the store 🏬🏬 ok TTYL (TALK TO YOU LATER) OMG (OH MY GOSH) matt just fell LOL (LAUGH OUT LOUD) 😱😱 gotta go ☹️☹️”

he’s so silly i love him

also matt collects records and cds.

he used to go with you to buy them and let you choose whatever you thought looked good

which is why you have everything from no doubt to frank sinatra to obscure french music

you always have music on at the apartment

like all the time

which brings me to my next point

matt never wanted you to have to see him as daredevil

but it wasn’t like the topic could be avoided.

so when he comes home with awful wounds and stuff, you help clean him up, just like he used to do for his father

and you’re damn good at it too. you have a very steady hand and no squeamish attitude at all. 

but similar to how the scotch used to help matt steady himself when he helped his father, music helps you steady yourself.

you’ll listen to soft & acoustic songs, and it helps ease you AND him.

usually you don’t talk about the things he does. but if he mentions something, you will

but usually it goes without any mention

in my mind, you and matt have a tradition of listening to baseball games on the radio together

you don’t really have a team you alaays root for, it changes year to year

but the two of you get really invested.

like you left the office early every time there’s a game so you can listen together.

or one time he and foggy were prepping a case and there was a game on so he wasn’t even focused HAH

i also think that even though josie’s is a bar, you’re allowed in

not only that, josie will let you behind the bar to make yourself a drink.

ok not like an alcoholic one but still

you have this one mixture of cranberry juice and ginger ale with a lime that you call the “y/n special” and foggy tried it and spit it out :(

josie and some of the regulars almost kicked him out LMAO it was so funny

ok also i have this very clear vision of something foggy does

so to preface this

it’s a rainy day

or just a generally gloomy day

and you and matt are home.

karen is over too.

maybe you’re reading a book and matt and karen are prepping a case or something

and then the door suddenly bursts open

matt isn’t surprised because he heard it coming obvi 

but it caught you off guard

you look over to the kitchen, where the perpetrator is completely covered by the GIGANTIC grocery bags he’s holding.

“oh no.” 

you say, and matt shakes his head. karen is already laughing

foggy drops the bags and exhales, a huge grin overtaking his face.

“WHO’S READY FOR FOGGY’S FAMOUS CHICKEN SOUP????!!!”

“we are” you and karen and matt say in unison, trying to hold back laughter

basically every time the littlest bit of winter rolls around, foggy will bring every ingredient known to man over to your and matt’s apartment and make chicken soup

you make fun of this tradition but it’s been going on since foggy and matt were in law school

and the soup is actually so good

you four always eat it together and it makes you so happy

your family, all together at one table :)

-----------------------✰----------------------

[randomyuu]

Hunting together ♡

Alright. So. Hm.

How should I start this?

I love the fanfic this is based on. So… I drew the last scene in Chapter 1 :D (As I post this, it’s still in Chapter 1)

The fic is titled A promise in time by rizna. Please, pretty please, read the tags AND author notes carefully before reading! I can’t bear the thought traumatising any of you because you didn’t read the tags and the notes ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/38933505/chapters/97368801

As usual, a bit of my thoughts below:

I really want to go on a rambling about how I love this fanfic, but we’ll go into ABO territory and I’m not sure if I want to do that lmao. But it’s really cute! Gojou being his bocchan persona, is beautiful. And I love how affectionate Yuuji is. I’m really weak for this Yuuji and just him in general :”)

So… about the drawing.

I am really sorry for all the history nerds who may have been inflicted physically by seeing this drawing ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

I have never drawn kimono before, or at least never really seriously studying it before. And as usual, I just did a quick research on man’s kimonos in Edo Period and hoped for the best that I can trust the website. Haha what a mess :”D

The same goes for the bow and the ears, so… yeah. I don’t know why I make my life more difficult, but uh… I learn a bit, so… good for me? I guess???

At first, I want to make this full colour. Before I realise that I suck at colour theory and I just want to draw Yuuji hunting with Gojou aaaaaahhhh-

No, actually I think that’s not it.

It’s because the pose.

I can’t find good enough reference for the pose I have in mind—I tried to trace several similar poses, but it got weird because most of the poses use slim males, like, I need a bit of a muscle there, come on. So in the end… I just wing it after observing the references I got. The pose takes way too long to my liking, and this is caused by my lack of ability in perspective. I must say at some point I was internally frustrated, and that may have great influence over why I didn’t full colour the drawing. I don’t want extra stress haha.

And then the background came, and the stress was added in anyway lmaooo

It may sound like I was complaining, but it’s because of how I like the idea I have before drawing. I love the hunting scene so much—Yuuji’s so cool, Gojou finally acknowledged him and I squeal, Yuuji’s still so cool and now mysterious //gasp—I want to portray it as beautifully as possible. But alas ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

It’s interesting how I learn more about drawing through making fan art for fanfics. They never failed to push me outside of my comfort zone, and in return, I learn bit by bit about new things I otherwise would learn probably years later.

But yeah. Hopefully you enjoy the drawing, and this random essay I wrote! :D

Have a nice day!

[wastemanjohn]

You KNEW my prompt was gonna include pregnancy lmao but I’m gonna say samdean accidental pregnancy — your choice if Dean or Deanna, your choice which season but I wanna see Dean(na) confessing to Sam that s/he’s knocked up!

here you go mate <3 (sorry for sneaking my deanna and david bowie headcanon in here but i had reason to believe you wouldn't mind xD - and exploring this pushed me nicely out of my comfort zone so thank you for the prompt!)

The skies over the salvage yard are pink with shepherd's delight clouds.  The evening breeze has a little bite, and the air smells like rotting oil and dead leaves. The latter scent is one Sam associates with shoplifting school supplies, with the good coffee shops opening up on campus again. It's an awkward nostalgia, but it comes to him anyway as he buttons up his shirt for warmth and makes a start on staking out the boulevard of broken cars, armed with two bottles of El Sol and a mental note of all the phrases he's learned not to say. Deanna's gotta be out here somewhere.

The thing is, Sam thinks as he passes the nearly restored Impala, it had seemed like his sister was doing a little better. She's still sharp tongued and irritable, but she's not been spending 12 hours a day doing god knows what under that hood. She's been hanging out with Sam and Bobby more in the evenings, not really saying much, but sometimes she smiles with her whole face at something someone says, and Sam's always a little surprised at the force of his relief. She's even been talking a bit about getting out on the road again, even if she never directly mentions Dad; but Sam's caught her quietly leafing through his journal now and then lately. Not that he's said anything about it, because that's just asking for trouble; and anyway, regardless of any improvement, Sam still has no idea what's going on in Deanna's head, really. She feels very far away.

She went out this afternoon. For hours. Didn't say where she was going; but it's got to be the first time she's left Bobby's place in weeks. She left her phone behind on the nightstand, in this way that Sam couldn't help but suspect was intentional, because there had to be something about that; had to be something in the way Deanna caught Sam's eye through the window as she was coming back, coming all slow down the path with Dad's jacket over her shoulders and this tight expression on her face. Something in the way Deanna had sharply changed direction at the sight of him, veering off until she faded into the salvage yard and Sam couldn't see her anymore. And it's not that Sam meant to be hovering near the front of the house at the exact moment of her return like a worried parent, but shit happens.

Let her be, son, Bobby had said, without looking up from his scotch and that leatherbound demonology book he'd been annotating all day. Harder you push, the more she's gonna clam up.

It bothers Sam when Bobby talks like that, like he knows Deanna better than Sam does or something. As for letting her be - well, if Bobby knows Sam at all, he's got a strange way of showing it.

As Sam goes deeper into the yard, he can hear music. Tinny, faint; but Sam recognizes David Bowie. He spent enough time being subjected to every single tape the guy ever made, even the really out there ones, over and over again as a kid to know that voice anywhere. That had been one of Deanna's more intense phases. Sam thinks she finds him comforting now, maybe; familiar, well worn, like an old blanket. She'd deny that, of course, the way she always denies shit that she thinks sounds girly, or maybe just vulnerable - but it hadn't been lost on Sam over the past year, how Deanna would play those tapes during nearly every overnight drive they took. Her hands always a little too tight on the steering wheel, Dad's unknown whereabouts breathing down the backs of their neck like a spirit.

Sam follows that bustling piano, ch-ch-changes, until he finds his sister. She's sitting on the floor, leaning against the dented door of an eighties truck with a mangled hood. The windows are down. The music is coming from inside.

Dad's jacket is so big over Deanna's shoulders. It practically drowns her, looks kind of ridiculous, if Sam were to be mean about it; still smells like Dad's cigarettes. Deanna doesn't look up, when Sam approaches, but she doesn't hide her face or snipe at him to fuck off either. Which means this is already going well.

"Hey." Sam says it cautiously. "What are you doing out here?" 

Her eyes roll up at him. "Making bacon and eggs, jackass. What's it look like I'm doing?"

Sam doesn't know, actually. Still, he takes the sarcasm on the chin. He holds one of the beer bottles out to Deanna; she glances at it, then shakes her head.

It surprises Sam, but he doesn't push. "You look like crap," he offers.

Deanna snorts. "Well. Don't you know how to make a girl feel special."

There's no bite in it. That tells Sam they're okay. She does, though; look like crap, that is. Tired; washed out. She's been sleeping in the day a lot. Bobby says it's the grief, that she needs it. Sam could believe that. He wonders, though, if Bobby's heard Deanna throwing up in the night lately. Not just one of her tactical upchucks to stave off a hangover, because she's not been drinking all that much lately; but these real hacking puke sessions that jolt Sam out of sleep in the early hours of the morning. She never comes back to her bed afterwards. And Sam has his suspicions about that too, like with the left behind phone; it's Deanna's way of not giving him a chance to pry. She knows how thin the wall between the bathroom and the spare bedroom is.

"Can I sit?" Sam asks.

Deanna shrugs. It's as good as permission.

Sam lowers himself down beside her, gets comfy on the rough gravel. He puts down the beers; doesn't feel much like drinking by himself.

They sit in silence for a while. Puts Sam on edge; but it's hard to know what to say to Deanna most of the time these days, which isn't a position he's ever been in before. Then again, they've never been in the position of losing their father before, so there's that. It still doesn't feel real. It probably never will.

"Keys were still in the ignition," Deanna says, nodding up towards the truck. "Tapedeck works. Engine's salvageable. Bobby's way too quick to junk these babies. Upsets me."

Sam smiles. "Dare you to say that to his face."

"Hey, maybe I will. If he gave me half a day with this death trap I'd get her purring again. Turn her into a whole new woman."

She folds her arms, tilts her head back against that dented door. Her eyes are kinda pink and bleary.

"You should see the tapes in the glove compartment," she adds. "'S a fucking goldmine.

"Is this Hunky Dory?" Sam asks.

Deanna raises an eyebrow. "Wow. And there I was thinking you weren't paying attention all this time."

"You didn't exactly give me a choice. You only played this album every day for like ten years."

Deanna grins. "I'm proud of you, Sammy. I knew you'd learn to love it eventually."

"Love is a strong word," Sam replies.

Deanna snorts again. Something like affection passes over her face. Sam hasn't seen that in a while.

"I lost this album years ago," Deanna says. "Think it ended up with Dad, maybe. You know how our stuff used to always get mixed up." 

Sam's a little stunned. And maybe it shows, because Deanna narrows her eyes at him. "What?"

"Nothing." He swallows - "Just that you, uh, mentioned Dad."

"Yeah. So?"

It's quick, defensive enough for Sam to know to shut up. He's getting good at that kind of thing. 

Deanna's scowl fades; she grins, lightly punches his thigh. "You creep. Quit staring at me."

Sam didn't realize he was. But if they were a different kind of people, maybe Sam would tell Deanna how pretty she looks under the dying sunlight, under those pink, glowy clouds; but he wouldn't really know how to put something like that, and Deanna would never let him live it down if he said it aloud anyway. So he keeps it to himself. Instead, he watches Deanna pull at a spooling thread from her shirt sleeve peeking out from beneath Dad's jacket.

"You know," Deanna says, "being out here always reminds me of us being kids. Bobby letting us play in the yard until the sun went down. Bringing us lemonade. Do you remember?"

Sam smiles. "Yeah, Dee. Of course I remember."

Deanna carries on like she wasn't expecting an actual response. "We'd never had homemade lemonade. Remember how I used to try to make it for you when we got back on the road? Mine always kinda sucked, though."

Sam feels a little on edge, hyper aware of everything his body is doing, like he's trying not to spook a wild gazelle. This is the most Deanna has spoken in weeks. "You tried," he offers, because she did, Deanna always tried so hard with stuff like that. He hasn't thought about Deanna's crappy lemonade in years. With Bowie warbling about life on mars on the stereo, and the memory of Deanna's sticky too-bitter attempt alive on his tongue, it feels like it's 1992 again.

Deanna keeps pulling at that thread. "You know, back when I used to watch you - I was, I dunno, maybe ten or eleven. And you were so - you were so damn innocent, you know? Just really cute, I guess."

"Cute?" Sam echoes.

"Yeah." There's this tight, half-smile on her mouth that Sam can't quite read. "You were so curious about shit all the time. Always wanting me to tell you stories. Always getting yourself scraped and bruised because you couldn't stop fucking climbing stuff." 

Sam isn't sure what to say. There's something about remembering himself as a child that makes him uncomfortable. Maybe it's the idea of being so small and so helpless; or maybe it's the memory of that hard-to-place unease that lived inside of him like blood from the moment he was fully sentient, that gut-deep sense that something about his life - his family, his barely present Daddy - just wasn't right.

"You were a pain in the ass," Deanna continues, with this fond chuckle. "Asking me questions all the time. Wanting to know how every little thing in the world worked. If I didn't know the answers, I'd just make 'em up. You believed everything I said." She clicks her tongue. "Man, do I miss that."

Why are we talking about this? Sam nearly asks. But that runs the risk that Deanna will snap shut like an oyster, and Sam will never get the answer at all. So he keeps his mouth closed. He lets Deanna carry on.

"Sammy, I used to -" She trails off, looking weirdly sheepish. "This is so so fucking weird, but like - when I was watching you, I used to wish you were actually my kid. And you - you kinda were, you know? Felt like you were mine... mine just as much as you were Dad's."

Dad, again. Sounds so unfamiliar in Deanna's voice now that it takes Sam a moment to process the revelation that came before it. "You did? Seriously?" is all he manages.

"Yeah." She's looking at her lap. Still that tight half-smile. "Seriously."

And Sam struggles to know what to do with that, what it means. Because it's hard, lately, for Sam to be angry with his father about much; makes him feel almost empty, actually, after a lifetime of nursing this near-addictive resentment over things he never fully understood. And of those things, Deanna - getting her stuff mixed up with Dad's, being so intertwined with him, resembling her martyred mother so much Dad could never stop commenting on it - Deanna seeing Sam as her own, apparently - well, he doesn't know. Sometimes Deanna just says shit. He probably isn't meant to read into it.

And besides, Sam doesn't know anything for sure. Always felt like he never really wanted to. And as he's already made his choice to love his father, he needs to keep it that way.

Deanna shuts her eyes, then. They're puffy under her lashlines, kissed with gray. "I mean," she says, "Don't get me wrong. You annoyed the crap outta me sometimes." She shrugs, hard, like a defence to an attack Sam hasn't made. "I - I do know that, Sammy. I know there was times I coulda been nicer to you." She looks a little pained.

"We were just kids Dee," Sam offers. "Not like either of us were exactly saints." 

"I keep remembering," Deanna continues, in that way, like Sam hadn't spoken again, "There was this time Dad kind of - got caught up in something. Still don't know what. But he wasn't home when he said he'd be. We were running out of everything. Food, money. No one was answering the phone. And you - you were driving me insane, Sammy."

Deanna says the last part a little too quietly; her head bows, hair covering her face. And Sam thinks he knows where this is going. He's getting a little uneasy.

"You just - you kept on and on with your damn questions. 'Where's Dad? What does he do while he's away? When's he coming back?' Then you - you asked about Mom."

"Deanna-"

She shakes her head, cutting him off. Something bitter on her lips, not quite a smile. "Who punches a five year old in the face, Sammy? I can't believe I -"

"You were only nine, Dee." Sam reminds her, when she doesn't finish the sentence. "You didn't know any better."

And it's true; Dad made sure of that, with his shoot first, ask questions later manifesto. But Deanna would never see it that way. She just laughs, colorless, bitter. "Yeah. I did. I shoulda, at least. I just -" She huffs. "Sometimes it feels like I just - I couldn't stop screwing up."

"You were doing it all by yourself." As the words leave his mouth, Sam registers how they sound. Like something you'd say about a single mom, some divorced thirty something with three kids, working two jobs to keep everyone fed and clothed. Not a nine year old.

"I guess -" Deanna sucks in a breath. "I just think about that a lot. That's all."

There's this dread growing inside of Sam as he watches Deanna's mouth twist up; she blinks, angrily. "Are you - crying?"

"Shut up," she mumbles.

She turns her face away a little. Draws her knees up to her chest. And it's strange and unsettling for Sam to see, like a horse walking on its hind legs or something; because Deanna doesn't cry, crying is for girls, and anatomy aside, she doesn't much like being seen as one of those. Even before Dad's pyre she stood, solemn and silent, breathing slow, composed. A hell of a lot more composed than Sam was, anyway.

"What's going on, Dee?"

She shrugs. That's very different to I'm fine.

And if things had been in any way close to normal over the last couple of months, Sam might touch Deanna's hand right about now. Lace their fingers; cup her face. Kiss her, maybe, the way she hasn't let him kiss her in a long time. Not since - well - not since the night they let Dad go. Sam can still remember the heat from the fire on his face, the way Deanna's hair felt grainy with ash; how her lips had tasted earthy and swollen, how she felt so small and fragile in his arms, more than she ever had. Still his big sister. Still the person he wants when he's scared and spiralling and doesn't know what to do but grab onto her, and hold on and on and on.

Deanna sniffs, loudly. "I just - I had so much on my shoulders, you know? Dealin' with you... dealin' with Dad..."

Her voice cracks a little. Sam says, "It was - it was a lot. I know." 

A lot. So much summed up in those two words, but it's not like Sam's had a lot of practise in talking about this.

Deanna laughs down at her folded knees, all thick. "You don't know, Sammy. You don't know at all. And I'm - I'm really glad you don't."

Sam isn't sure what to say to that. Partly because he can't gauge Deanna's tone, and partly because that feels like one of the most honest things Deanna's ever said to him. And now he's really worried.

"I just - I always wished I had another chance, you know? A chance to do over all those screw ups I made."

Tentatively, Sam reaches out to put a hand on her shoulder. It tenses a little beneath his fingers; but she doesn't pull away. That's good.

"I don't know where all this is coming from, Dee," Sam admits.

There's a pause, and Deanna seems to blink for a little too long. "It's - Sammy, I just keep on thinking. Dad's - Dad's gone." 

It's the first time she's actually said it. Sam swallows; throat feels a little thick. "Yeah. I know."

"And I was just getting - you get used to things being one way, you know?" She runs a hand through her hair, shiny with grease like oil slicks. "It's always like that. You start getting used to things, and then - then some other shit happens. And suddenly things are a whole new way. Before you can even fucking -"

"What do you mean?"

"Sammy, I knew something was wrong. I - I think I knew all along. But - today..."

Sam does everything in his power to keep his growing anxiety out of his voice. "Where did you go today, Deanna?" 

Her lips press together. She's still looking at her lap.

That dread expands, curdles, in Sam's gut. "Tell me."

Her hands are shaking against her thighs. "I - I went to the doctor."

That's absolutely the last thing Sam expected. "Since when do you go to the doctor?"

"I kinda had to."

Sam watches the little quiver of her fingers; and with that, he thinks back to the puking, the tiredness, how not right his sister looks. He thinks about Jess, how they were talking about what color to paint the living room 24 hours before she went up in flames on the ceiling. He thinks about Dad calmly sending him off for coffee before he…

Things are one way. Then suddenly they're another. Before you can blink, before you even remember your own name.

"Are you - are you sick?" Sam tries to keep his voice even.

Deanna isn't looking at him. "Kinda."

Sam thinks about Deanna hooked up to wires and machines. The miracle; how miracles don't happen. He's been harboring a little fear that there has to still be something wrong. A lacerated organ. A foreign object. Something they must have missed. But he thought - hoped - it was just that - a fear.

Sam sucks in a breath. "Okay. So - so what..."

Deanna smiles grimly. "Turns out I've got a parasite."

He watches Deanna shift. Her hand move towards one of the pockets of Dad's jacket. She keeps her eyes on her lap as she passes a small slip of paper to Sam. Small, rectangular. He takes it.

It's a moment or so before he realizes what he's seeing. Kind of like a photograph; a fuzzy sepia. Odd shapes that slowly begin to make sense.

"Ten weeks," Deanna says, her voice a little hoarse with disbelief. "I'm - I'm ten fucking weeks pregnant, Sammy."

Sam stares numbly at that ultrasound still. At the shapes, like two beans stacked on top of each other. Faint, fuzzy lines. Tiny arms. Tiny legs. He stares at them until they blur.

Ten weeks. Ten weeks since -

"So it's - " Sam can't finish the sentence.

"Yeah, Sammy. It's yours."

Her voice sounds very far away. And Sam can smell ash and fumes, traces of hospital grade body wash on Deanna's skin, skin that was bruised all over from cannulae and wires; and Sam couldn't catch his breath because Dad was gone, the last of him was just yards away on that burnt out pyre, gone; and Deanna's hands were on his face, tangled up in his hair, forehead pressed against his, and she was straddling his lap in the Impala's backseat, her eyes shut, muttering ssh, ssh over and over, maybe to Sam, or maybe to herself, but she kept saying it, even through the long kisses she kept pressing to his mouth; and Sam remembers he could barely see, he felt like he was choking on that ashy air, but he had Deanna, and he needed Deanna, he'd never needed her so much in his entire life. And Deanna understood, the way she's always understood things like that; and Deanna had kept on with her kissing and ssh-ing as she moved on top of him, fast, desperate, and Sam had clung onto her waist and met each roll of her hips, fast, anguished, because he couldn't get close enough, deep enough; and Deanna had been making these pitchy, breathless sounds like she was in pain, but she didn't stop Sam, and the whole time her eyes were wide and fixed on his face; and Sam remembers tangling her hair around his fingers like rope, he remembers arching up against her as he came, his body going through the motions, his senses numb to it. That numbness hasn't really left him since.

"Sammy, say something."

Deanna's voice, strained, cuts through the memory. Hauls Sam back to the present; Bowie, rotten oil, dead leaves. That autumnal breeze. His sister's face, tight and worried. Sam recognizes that pallor a little more now: shock.

It's passing through Sam as well. Of all the things he expected - this was nowhere on the list. Nowhere close.

"Alright," he manages eventually. Amazed at how calm he sounds. "What do you wanna do?" Because that's the thing to ask, right?

Deanna's lips twist again. "I mean - like, right away, I thought about just - you know - going off and taking care of it. Not even telling you. Just - "

"You wouldn't have told me?"

"I said I thought about it, Sam." She clicks her tongue; another rough wipe of her eyes. "I'm telling you now, aren't I?"

Sam keeps staring. Staring, at that image. That tiny, tiny baby. 

"Is that what you want?" he manages, eventually. Hoarse as Deanna. "To - take care of it?"

Deanna's pause seems to roll around the length of the yard. Then, her eyes stray to her lap again. "You know, Dad used to lecture me about this shit. Made it very clear how disappointed he'd be if I ever accidentally got myself knocked up."

Sam says, "Really?"

"Yeah. All the time." There's something acidic in Deanna's voice. "And you know why he harped on about it so much?"

"Why?"

"Because he said it wouldn't be fair to bring a kid into all this. Into the life." Deanna laughs, this flat, one-note thing. Something sharp flashes through her eyes; something gone too quick for Sam to fully identify. "Can you believe he said that to me? After everything he..."

She stops. And Sam watches Deanna's face reset, as if she hadn't expressed something like anger towards Dad for the first time ever. Something like what Sam has been saying, feeling, thinking, ever since he was old enough to understand. Everything Deanna always denied.

"It wouldn't have to be the same." It comes out of Sam's mouth before he can catch up with it. "You know. The same as we had it."

Deanna keeps on looking at her lap.

"You -" Sam takes a breath. "You know that, right?"

Deanna sighs. More like the breath whipping out of her body. "I'm not gonna stop looking for the demon, Sammy."

She says it like she expected Sam to insist on it. He clarifies: "I'm not saying we do. I'm saying we make it work."

He has no idea how. No fucking idea. His brain hasn't quite absorbed what's in front of him yet, the news undigested; but he's certain, somehow, of that.

Deanna gives that odd laugh again. Sam isn't sure what it means, this time. "It's also..." She picks at that thread on her shirt again. "I mean, the doctor said it looked healthy. But what if it comes out and it's like, a cyclops or something?"

"Why would it be -"

Deanna's shoulders rise. "You've seen Deliverance, right?"

Oh.

Sam swallows. His eyes stray back to the picture. Not that he can see much; not that there's much to see. But there's enough there for Sam to think it looks absolutely perfect.

"There are risks," is all he can think to say. "But it's - you know. It's not completely inevitable."

Deanna narrows her eyes. "You've already looked this stuff up, haven't you?"

She says it in this accusatory way. Sam runs his thumb delicately across the grainy image. "There was always a chance this could happen, Dee."

Always a chance. They've never done much to mitigate it, really. There's not enough space in Sam's brain right now, to wonder why that is.

Deanna skips over it too. Runs a hand through that greasy hair. Her lips twist.

"I just think," she says, after a while, "even if it comes out with three heads, playing a fucking banjo... would I care? You know?"

She's still not quite meeting Sam's eyes. Sam prompts, "Would you?"

"I mean. It's not like it'd be the only freak in this family, right?" A smile spreads across her mouth. "Sammy, you know I wouldn't care. I'd -I'd love it no matter what."

"Me too." It comes out thick; Sam's never been more sure of anything in his life.

He hands Deanna back the picture; takes her hand, deceptively delicate and cold in his, as he watches her eyes fog up with tears again. She doesn't hide this time; leans in to press her forehead against Sam's, just like that night ten weeks ago, just like they've come full circle. And fuck, it feels like forever since Sam's been touched like this, touched by anyone; he's just wondering if leaning in for a kiss would be pushing it, when he feels Deanna's plump, dried out lips brushing his. They feel a little sticky, and there's this malodor to her breath, but Sam barely registers it. It's like coming home.

I missed you, he doesn't say; can't, when Deanna's mouth would smother it anyway. When Deanna would only screw her face up and call him a big girl, and he'd rattle with guilt about feeling a little humiliated by that, but he'd feel it anyway.

Deanna pulls away first. She's a little flushed, and Sam can faintly see the capillaries in her face, like pink lines on a map under her skin; she squeezes his hand, laces their fingers. Moves them together until Sam's palm is flat against her stomach, the warmth of her body underneath that worn flannel.

"I keep thinking I can feel it," she whispers. "Now I know it's there."

Sam watches their interlaced hands dumbly. Overwhelmed. He can too.

"I kinda hope it's a girl." Deanna's voice has that hoarse quality again. "So I can - so she can have a Mom. So she can have what I didn't have."

She says it at the exact moment Sam finds himself hoping it's a boy. His reasons are similar. But for someone who doesn't like to talk, Deanna's always been way better at articulating stuff like that.

"You'll be a great Mom, Dee," he says, firmly. You were to me.

"Alright. You don't need to kiss my ass." Deanna ruffles his hair, like she did when she kissed him goodnight as a kid.

It takes Sam a moment to find his voice again. "I mean it, Dee. We'll make it work." He says it with this conviction that rises up from somewhere deep. "And I'm gonna be here for you, alright? Every step of the way."

Deanna groans. "Jesus Christ. I knew you'd be like this."

But she's smiling. And Sam allows himself to as well.

"Sammy?"

"Yeah?"

“You know Dad would kill us, right? But man, do I wish he was here right now.”

She says it with a laugh in her voice, her face all twisted up; and Sam can't help but remember how he and Jess had talked about kids, vaguely, sometimes, kind of like a concept, a distant dream. How Sam had thought to himself about Dad a lot then, too, the way he never really stopped thinking about Dad and Deanna. He remembers wondering to himself whether Dad would be proud. Whether he'd even want a grandkid; if he'd want to know at all. Back then, Sam genuinely toyed with the idea that Dad wouldn't even care. Never come back, Sam.

It's not the same, now. Holy fuck, this is not the same, and it can probably only be a good thing that Dad's not here to know about this; so Sam pushes away the thought. He puts his arms around Deanna's waist and pulls her as close as he dares.

"It'll be okay," he says again, because he can't think of anything else. Because it has to be.

Deanna's looking at him kinda intently. "Sam, do you think this is Dad's way of like - you know - coming back?"

"Uh - what?"

Deanna shrugs. "Dunno. Just - hormones talking, I guess." She squeezes Sam's hand against her stomach. "Forget I said anything."

Sam's not sure he can. They don't say anything after that.

[sallownights]

miss americana and the heartbreak prince

word count: 3.2k

CW: fluff, pining, leander prewett, sexual scenes?, ilvermorny mention lol

A/N: sorry i literally disappeared LMAO, i had the worst writer's block ever. made me want to cry. lol. anyways, hope im back. i hope my brain works. lol. plz send requests so i don't have to think about what to write next. ily. kisses <3. my girlfriend proofread this 😐

pairing: sebastian sallow x female!Y/N

The move from America to London wasn’t entirely awful. Moving my portkey wasn’t entirely what Y/N had in mind when she found out she was going to Hogwarts. 

Moving from Massachusetts to London was certainly different. It certainly wasn’t something that Y/N minded. She missed her friends back at Ilvermorny but she was excited to start school at Hogwarts. Especially since her uncle was a professor there. 

“Uncle Eleazar,” Y/N walked into her uncle’s office. His classroom was beautiful with trinkets around the place, his office the same way. It was full of different things Miriam and him had bought together or collected. 

“Y/N,” Professor Fig smiled, he stood and hugged his niece. His embrace was as warm as a summer day. “How have you been settling in? Are you excited to be sorted tonight?”

“Yeah, but we both know where I’m going to be sorted.” They both nodded and said,

“Slytherin.” The pair laughed softly. 

“Thunderbirds are just too similar. There’s no way that’s not what I’m getting sorted into.” Y/N smiles. She was wearing her old Thunderbird robes that looked fairly similar to Ravenclaw if someone wasn’t paying attention. Fig nodded. 

“Nothing wrong with Slytherin. There’s some talented wizards in there. Did you have a chance to explore the castle yet or were you just talking with Professor Weasley this whole time?” Y/N smiles brightly at the mention of Professor Weasley. 

“Her and I had some tea and discussed what I would be learning here this year and the difference in curriculum. I haven’t had much chance to explore yet.” Fig nods and walks out his office. 

“C’mon, I can show you around before the ceremony tonight.” Y/N followed behind her uncle. Walking around the school was like walking into a fantasy book for Y/N. It wasn’t too different from Ilvermorny but the history was clear. It was palpable. 

“So did you decide if you were to be sorted in front of everyone or in private?” Fig broke the silence as they walk through the Viaduct Courtyard. 

“I was thinking private. I’m not wanting to take away from the first years. The sorting ceremony from my understanding is different than the Ilvermorny one, yes? You get sorted by… a hat?" Y/N's voice was certainly confused. Fig chuckles softly. 

“Yes, the sorting hat. You were sorted by crests?” Y/N nods. 

“Well, that’s one way to do it, I suppose.”

—

Y/N was right. Slytherin. Her uncle was prepared and put some Slytherin robes in her trunk before she moved in earlier. Fig walks Y/N to the Slytherin common room. She hugs her uncle before saying the password and entering the newly revealed doorway. 

She steps in and walks downstairs. The dungeon was cool compared to the heat outside from the summer air. She took a deep breath as she reached the bottom. 

‘This is my year. It’ll be fine.’ Y/N nodded to herself before walking to her dorm room to go to sleep. 

“Hey!” A voice rang out. Y/N whipped her head around to the voice. It was a taller boy, freckles, nice build. He was holding a large tome and was walking over to her. 

“Uh… hello," Y/N said awkwardly. 

“Is there a reason you’re here?” Y/N tilted her head at the boy. 

“I was going to bed.” Her voice was confused but her American accent was clear as day. The boy’s eyes widen. 

“Oh, Merlin. You’re the new transfer. Apologies. I thought you were a Ravenclaw,” the boy stuck his hand out, “Sebastian Sallow.” Y/N shook his hand. 

“Y/N Fig.” She smiles at the boy. His freckled face was blushing, no doubt from the embarrassment of almost harassing a new student. 

“Fig, eh?” Sebastian raised an eyebrow. “You’re related to the professor?” Y/N nodded.

“Uncle.” Sebastian nods. 

“Ah…" There’s an awkward silence between the two before Sebastian speaks up again. 

“Well, let me know if you need help with anything.” Y/N nods. 

“Goodnight, Sebastian.” Y/N turned on her heel, her face heating up from the awkward interaction. 

“Night, Y/N.”

Sebastian dropped his head and walked to his dorm where his best friend is. 

“Ominis, I’m a fool.”

“Well, I’m surprised it took you this long to notice. 

—

Y/N

The next morning, I woke up with a start. ‘New school, new friends, same… same me.’ I go through my new trunk to find where my uncle put Slytherin robes for me. 

I walk out into the common room, seeing my roommates who wave to me and… Sebastian Sallow. He was reading a tome. I was planning on slipping out, but I heard the common room quiet as I walked in. Loud voices turned to whispers and I felt my face burn. I’m not used to this attention. I’m not used to any of this. 

“You alright?” A sudden voice says behind me. I jump at the sound and turn around.

“I’m… yeah, I’m okay.” Sebastian was so tall. Merlin, he had to be at least 6’ 2… and he’s fit. Wait, isn’t that a term for hot? Oh my gods, am I staring at him? What do I say, I’m just looking at him. My face burns. 

“H-How are you?” I try to not make a face at the stuttering words that leave my mouth. Sebastian smirks slightly. God, now he just looks like an asshole… but… but so fine. 

“I’m good. I… wanted to apologize again. For yesterday.” Was he blushing? Oh, I think he is. He has really nice freckles. Oh, Jesus, I’m staring again. 

“It’s okay! It���s alright. I can understand the confusion.” I smile at him. God, I hope I don’t look foolish right now. “Thunderbirds… and… all.” Yep. Foolish. 

“Was that your house at… Ilvermorny?” Sebastian’s voice was so rich. It’s really nice actually. 

“It was! We have different houses based on Native American folklore.” I love my old school. I don’t think I’ll ever stop, but being here now is good. It’s new. I need new. Sebastian has a smirk on his face… did I say too much?

“That’s interesting… is ‘Thunderbird’ like Slytherin then? Cunning, ambitious, and all those other bits?” He took a step closer to me and I felt my face heat up again. I must look like a fucking tomato. So, I just nod.

“Well, I’m sure you’ll fit in great.” Sebastian smiles broadly. It was infectious. No, more than infectious. What’s more than infectious? Viral? Contagious? No, those are just synonyms. 

“Thank you,” I smile back at him. Someone appears from behind him. His eyes were like pearls. They were the most beautiful foggy eyes I’d ever seen. 

“Hello, my apologies for interrupting. I’m Ominis, Ominis Gaunt.”

–

Sebastian

Potions class. Not exactly a dreadful subject, but certainly not my favorite. The new transfer was seated next to Garreth, For what reason? Garreth is rather annoying. With his… red hair… stupid jokes… and affinity for explosives, she would be better off sitting next to anyone else. Maybe even me. 

…

… 

She’s rather stunning. She tucks her hair back behind her ears whenever she was focused. Her lips were slightly parted. I bet her lips are so soft. She constantly has chapstick on her. I wonder what flavor she’s using today. Maybe pineapple…

After class, I walk with her to herbology. 

“So, how did your Wiggenweld turn out?” I try to exude confidence when I feel like my heart is thundering out of my chest. I felt like my ribs were cracking under the pressure of the pulse.

“Oh, I think it turned out well. It was something we made back at Ilvermorny, so I had a bit of an edge.” She smiles. God that smile could kill me. Her teeth were perfect. Is that a weird thing to notice?

We walk in silence to herbology. God, she smells so good. Orange? Tangerine? I have no idea. Some kind of citrus. She’s like sunshine. She’s like my sunshine. And my moon. Maybe my stars too. 

Oh Merlín, I sound like a lovesick puppy. She’s just my friend. She’s a pretty cool friend too. Like… sure, she’s really pretty, funny, smart, stunning, talented, and just positively radiant. She’s just a friend though. Yeah. 

—

Y/N

“Did you want to go to Tomes & Scrolls?” I looked over at Sebastian. 

“Ha! Like you need to ask.” Sebastian offered his hand to me. He… mmm… he offered his hand. I took it. They were calloused, big… warm. The soft smile that graced my lips was involuntary but not unwelcome. 

Sebastian smiled down at me and squeezed my hand. God, I hate him. These stupid butterflies that fill my stomach. The way his idiotic smile makes his eyes crinkle. His dumb laugh that makes my heart beat faster

Watching his fingers trace the spines of the books. I wonder what it feels like. The soft touch. Am I getting turned on in a bookstore? What the fuck is wrong with me? 

Oh Merlin, am I sweating? I feel like I’m sweating. Can he feel my hand sweating? My hands are so fucking clammy.

“You okay?” Sebastian’s voice broke my thoughts. He could break so much more- what… the fuck am i thinking about.

“O-Of course!” I smiled brightly, in hopes he doesn’t notice the red on my face and ears. He put his hand to my forehead and frowned slightly.

“You sure? You’re a bit flush.” I nodded weakly. His touch sent sparks to every nerve in my body. It always did. Merlin, I hate him so fucking much. Why is he so pretty? why?

“I’m sure! Just a little warm,” I felt my face flare up with embarrassment. Sebastian just nods. I’m glad he doesn’t press, but I know he wants to. 

We continue to shop and walk around Hogsmeade. Every bag I’ve gotten Sebastian has taken from me. He hasn’t let me carry any. 

“Seb, cmon, I can take them. I feel like you’re struggling.” His arms were straining a bit in his jacket. My eyes shoot over to look before going back to his face. I will not be caught staring. Not if it’s the last thing I do. 

“I’m fine, love,” My eyes widened at the pet name. My face got immensely hotter. Is… is he blushing too? No… oh my god, Y/N… say something. 

“O-Okay.” We begin walking back to the castle. The sun was setting, the sky was a beautiful mix of pinks, oranges and yellows. I took a moment to look out. I could feel Sebastian behind me. His cologne was so… stupidly attractive. 

The silence was so comfortable. The night was beginning to cool down and I moved my hands to my arms to warm them. Sebastian was rustling behind me and I felt his jacket get draped over my shoulders. Merlin, if he makes me blush one more time… I will… do something. Sebastian’s arms wrap around my waist and his head moves to my shoulder. Against my better judgment, I lean against him.

“There’s something just so peaceful about sunsets. Sure, the sun goes away, but it always comes back the next day. Even if we can’t see it. It’s there.” His voice was low and husky in my ear. I couldn’t do anything else but nod. Staring out at the sky, I felt myself getting lost in it. Felt myself get lost in Sebastian. I hold myself in his arms. 

What I would give to freeze this moment. To just… be here with him. Is this foolish? I’ve only known him for three months and I’m already putty in his arms. I feel more helpless than I have in years. 

I feel his hands slide across my stomach to my waist and I turn around before he pulls back fully. 

“Sebastian…” My voice came out quieter than I wanted it to. His eyes were so beautiful, especially in this light. His freckles danced across his face and gave him the boyish charm I’ve grown to adore. 

“Y/N…” I felt him move closer. Our bodies were pressed against one another’s. My heart was practically beating out of my chest. Can he feel it? I lean in and shut my eyes. Oh Merlin, his lips look so soft. 

“Y/N!” Sebastian and I jump back from each other. Amit was waving from a bit away. I put my head in my hands and look back up.

“Amit, hello,” My heart was pounding. I felt like my nerve endings were on fire. I took a small step toward him. 

“Hello! I’m headed to an astronomy table, are either of you wanting to join?” I closed my eyes. I wasn’t upset with Amit. It’s probably a good thing that he stopped us from… kissing. 

“Oh, uhm… no, I’m alright…” I look over at Sebastian. Sebastian shakes his head. “Yeah…. We’re uhm… we’re alight, Amit. Thank you, though.”

Amit nods and walks off. Sebastian and I don’t look at each other as we get my bags and walk back to the castle.

…

…

…

Fuck. 

—

Sebastian

I was outside watching Y/N and Natty play summoner’s court. Things had been a bit awkward for a while after… uh… you know. 

Leander kept walking by and talking to the girls. Something about him just made my blood boil. I don’t know if it was his bad hair or his even worse personality. Natty and Y/N had parted ways after they finished playing again. I began to stand off the grass, collecting my things. I saw Leander walk up to Y/N. 

‘Mmmm. Interesting.’ My thoughts were already running wild. What if she liked him? What if she liked his shitty hair? Or his bad dueling skills? What if she didn’t want to be around me anymore because she dates him? I shake my head, trying to clear these thoughts from me. 

I try to keep my distance as they talk. I try not to look at them. Y/N is her own person. She can do what she wants… and I’ll be there. I’ll be whatever she needs me to be. Friend, dueling partner… something more. Gods above, I wish to be something more. 

I was snapped out of my thoughts as Leander put his hand on her arm. She moves away from him and Leander steps closer to her. I try to keep my cool, I feel myself moving toward the two.

“There a problem?” I heard my voice. I felt like I wasn’t controlling myself anymore. Y/N is a perfectly capable witch. She’s strong. She’s smart. She’s… stunning. Y/N  can take care of herself, but everything in me was screaming to protect her.

“Nah, Sallow, just having a chat with Y/N.” Leander stepped closer to her and she stepped back again.

“Doesn’t look like she wants to talk.” My voice was low and a bit strained. 

“This doesn’t concern you, Sallow. Her and I are fine.” Leander takes another step toward Y/N before I put myself between them. My hand goes to Leander’s chest, pushing him away.

“Back off, she obviously doesn’t want to talk.” My heart was pounding, I was too nervous about her being hurt. About what he would do to her. 

“Oh? Playing protector? Never took you to stoop so low just to get laid-” Before Prewett can finish his sentence, I throw a punch against his jaw. I watch him stumble backwards and onto his back.

“Leave her alone. She’ll talk to you when she wants.” I was towering over him. There was something almost satisfying about protecting Y/N. She’s capable, sure, but… I want her to feel safe. I turn back to her and check to make sure she’s alright. I know he didn’t do much but… who knows. 

“Are… are you alright, love? Mentally, physically… emotionally?” She nods softly and I hold her face to make sure I didn’t miss anything. Maybe to feel her skin against mine. Maybe both. 

“Seb, I’m okay. Are you?” Her hands moved to mine. I held onto her face softly. I couldn’t bear to think of her being hurt. I nod. 

“I thought… I just… I don’t know. I… I got worried.” She nods. 

“I know, but I can handle myself.” I close my eyes and breathe deeply.

“I know, I just… want to… protect you sometimes.” She nods again and moves my hands from her face. She intertwines our fingers and leads me to the Undercroft. When we get there, she holds my hand softly, examining my knuckle.

“I’m okay, Y/N. Promise.” She sighs softly and stands up straight. Her fingers brush back and forth on my skin. I could feel heat rising through me. She moves closer to me and wraps her arms around me into a hug. I hug her back gently. She’s too precious to me to hurt. 

“Seb?” Her voice was quiet. I could listen to her all day. I don’t care about what, but I would just listen. 

“Yes?” My voice matched her’s. I moved my hands back to her face softly. I ran my thumb softly over her cheek. Her skin was so perfect, so smooth. 

“Why do you want to protect me?” Her voice gets quieter, almost to the point where I can’t hear it. 

“I- well- uhm…” I stutter, the familiar heat rising through me again. “Can I… show you something?” Y/N tilts her head before nodding. I take a deep breath. 

…

…

My lips meet hers. Her lips were covered in some kind of chapstick but I didn’t care. I wanted more. Needed more. I held her face softly as we deepened the kiss, my hands moving toward the back of her head. I felt her arms wrap around me as her body gets closer to mine. I moved my hands down her body, savoring every moment. This is all I’ve wanted for so long. For six agonizing months. I hear her gasp softly as my tongue finds hers. 

I don’t know how long we stay there for, in all honesty, I don’t care. I was with her. She was with me. That’s all that mattered. We pull back after what seems like hours. Our breathing heavy from the lack of oxygen. 

“Y/N… I like you. I’ve liked you for so long.” I kiss her cheek gently before moving to her jawline and down her neck. I hear her sigh softly and her hand moves to my hair.

“Seb- I-I like you too.” I smile against her skin before kissing the nape of her neck. I move back to look in her eyes. I kiss her gently.

“So beautiful. You’re mine, yeah?” I murmur against her lips in between kisses. I feel her nod and whisper. 

“All yours. Always been yours.” I smile and kiss her sweetly again. I pull her down onto the lounge and kiss her deeper. I move her hands above her head as I get on top of her. I kiss down her neck and bite softly, eliciting moans from her. 

“I’m… going to go.” Y/N and I flinch as a voice calls out from the gate. 

“Ominis?!”

[obsessedwithceleste]

Hi love! How are you? I would like to be paired with a Slytherin man please. I am 21+ so let’s pretend Hogwarts is uni lmao.

I’m pale af, brown eyes, and long, straight, brown hair. I would say I’m tall (I’m 5’5 but shh), not thin and neither thick, the horrible in between sizes (small on top and big on bottom), and I started going to the gym some months ago. My friends describe me as pretty, which idk how to take (I read somewhere it’s not good to be described as pretty LMAO), big smile (I look psychotic, but I have been complimented on my smile), button nose, big af eyes (again looking like a psycho).

I’m enfp, Aries, Slytherin (ofc the superior house), and if I reckon correctly 4w3 (‘m not sure). I would consider myself as neurotypical bc I only have PTSD which manifests through social and performative anxiety. I loooove competing even though I’m not really talented in anything in particular. I prefer the night, I love doing everything at night.

I love going out either to party (v social, but I only have two friends, I love the concept of people) or just going for walks, maybe I was a dog in a past life because I can walk for HOURS. I love wandering around and go to parks. Even better if it is in the evening, and at night so I can find constellations. I love all animals, completely devoted to them (except spiders). I obv enjoy reading as most people here. I adore watching movies properly (lights off, no phone, big screen and immersive sound). I’m very loving, I fall fast and hard for people, I truly give my all for the people I love, so it’s always hard for me when it’s not reciprocated. I have an interest in languages, as I know three and would like to continue learning more, that’s actually what I’m studying in uni, teaching foreign languages. I’m loud af, except for the times I just don’t want to talk. Silence makes some uncomfortable so I have to fill it with talking about anything, but if someone wants quiet I can shut up. Appearances matter idgf what they say, manners are v important for me, if you don’t say please and thank you my eyes will twitch (nothing drives me crazier that children without manners). I’m also narcissistic as I have been able to write this whole thing about myself. I’m a bit stubborn, good at coercing people, witty with jokes LMAO, very creative, annoying but easy to love. An old friend once said “you don’t have to understand her, just love her” and thats sums me up.

Please and ty!! I hope you have a nice weekend 😊

Oh you’re such a Theo girl/guy, it’s not even funny

Pairing: Theodore Nott

Theo definitely isn’t the flashiest when it comes to the Slytherin boys. Cool, quiet, collected. He doesn’t mind flying under the radar and letting the other boys take the spot light.

Sure he likes a good common room party as much as the next person, but he’d rather be holed up in the library or some other corner of the castle.

Theo is first introduced to you by Pansy and Daphne who he basically grew up with. He’s a bit indifferent to you in the beginning to be quite honest as he sees you as being one of them, part of their little clique.

Sure he thinks you’re pretty. And smart. But he’s perfectly content watching from a far.

It’s by complete chance that he runs into you as he’s walking around the Black Lake one day. Normally he likes the peace and quiet, but he finds that he enjoys listening to you chatter. He’s always been more of a listener anyway.

From there you just keep popping up. In the astronomy tower where you accidentally spend hours talking about the stars. In the library where the book he’s been searching for just so happens to be in your stack.

The more he talks to you, the harder he finds himself falling. He loves that he can banter with you, and that you make witty jokes, often at Mattheo’s expense. He loves your competitive spirit, and the way you get the biggest smile when you win. (Still, he’ll never lose on purpose. His ego won’t let him, and he respects you too much)

You also really help break each other out of your shells. At parties, this boy is glued by your side. He still doesn’t like the spot light, but he’s like a different person when he’s with you, growing more confident, smiling more. At the same time, you find having him there is comforting, and you’re able to relax more.

Coming from a Pureblood family, Theo has obviously never seen a muggle movie before and you obviously can’t let that slide.

You spend a whole afternoon setting up a projector, gathering snacks, blankets, the whole ordeal. And when Theo sees all the work you put in, he just melts.

The two of you spend the night cuddles up watching movie after movie. You think it’s adorable how he’s absolutely awestruck by the little people moving around the screen. (Just wait until you show him the cartoons)

It’s late by the time the last movie finishes, and you’re both sleepy, but all Theo can think about is how perfect you look tucked in his arms as you excitedly tell him about all the other films you’re just dying to show him.

Once you realize that he’s been quiet for a bit too long, you look up at the boy, and suddenly his lips are on yours. It’s warm, and soft, and hungry.

Turns out you weren’t really that tired.

Theo loves worshipping the ground you walk on and looking at you like you hung the stars in the sky.

You thought he was clingy before? The bastard is practically stuck to you. Another boy breathes at you wrong? Somehow Theo is there to tell him off. You want to lay down after a long day of classes? Theo is there and wants to be cuddled dammit.

He isn’t exactly the best at expressing his feelings, so he likes to drop little letters in your book bag when you’re not looking. And little sweets. And a Pygmy puff once. (The co-parenting is going very well ty)

You two really grow to understand each other and while you both love fiercely and unconditionally, there’s a comfort in knowing there’s someone who took the time to really try and figure you out.

[candycryptids]

58. How many hobbies have they attempted to have over their lifetime? Is there a common theme?

For whomever you please! Multiples of 'em if you like! Give us the hobby lore!

>:3!!!!!! Rolling this ask around my enclosure like a pumpkin full of ground beef! So I actually covered Mochiie’s hobbies earlier today- [Here] so I’ll cover some others ùwú! (Full of mischief)

Ishi’li’s hobbies are messy because of his origins: they enjoyed solving Sudoku’s, and playing games, which I’d count as hobbies, but in Eorzea his old hobbies don’t hold up, cos…. Nobody makes Sudoku puzzles… and Games straight up don’t exist, to my knowledge. But he DOES learn to haggle and trade and help run business numbers. He actually genuinely enjoys math (it’s why he picks up Arcanist XD) ….. hm.. He picks up painting, after visiting the First, and subsequently Elpis, and possibly photography (Me and Zombiesock are toying with creation magic making essentially a Sheikah Slate, because due to how we shook out events Ishi is the only one of the cadre of WoL’s to actually be able to go to Elpis and they get frustrated at an inability to show it to everyone else, lmao.) … There’s not much of a common theme, they just like Learning stuff, especially if it can be applied to helping the team, (like Astrology, which is picked up, but kind of as a side gig to everything else that’s going on.) … and honestly it leans heavily into Magic, because it’s unique and interesting even if there’s a constant battle to keep up enough Mana to use it lmfao.

Tuesday likes reading (History, Cookbooks, Travel Guides, YA Short Story Romance), and cooking, even if he can’t like… taste the food he makes for some time (not sure when he gets taste but ah! He shall someday :) ) which means he’s always in need of taste testers- but not Chuu. Who is a walking nightmare for food. (If it’s not easily eaten one handed in some fashion she’s not eating it. She’s been TRYING to care more about what her food tastes like but mostly the fact that she’s gaining weight and eating 3x a day + snacks is an improvement. She LIKES archon loaf. Anyways-) he likes experimenting with textures and smells and spices, so finding people that will eat it and provide feedback is. Nice. He also finds lots of joy in little repeating tasks like, spinning/weaving, and learning to make his own fabrics and garments opens up a whole other world. He’s already out gathering stuff, or shopping, so. Making clothes is it’s own sort of rewarding (and it makes Keathan. So excited, actually. That Tuesday is creating something. For himself???) … I think most of his hobbies stem from a desire to. Find? He’s grasping for what it means to be an Individual and trying stuff and customizing himself in little ways.

🤔 Hobby lore… I’m tryna think if I got anything else interesting knocking around up here. Oh!

Tangy used to have a hobby doing whittling, nothing too crazy, cos she was v small, but it was practice using a knife so she could be more confident later in life when she’d need to skin+ clean game, y’know. …. aaaand then it got lost in the haze of everything Pre 1.0, so she hasn’t done it since, but I like to think if she picked up a little knife in NOT kitchen settings she’d feel some muscle memory kick in for it. Nowadays she likes bird watching, and sooometimes fishing, though there’s not much to catch outside the waking sands that’s suuuper worth eating, she catches lots of small fry… and sometimes a sunburn. Right across the bridge of her snout. Dreadful. I like to think sometime between ARR and Heavensward she starts making little woven jewelry pieces- bracelets and hair ties mostly, but, it keeps her hands occupied and she can always unravel them again and do it over later. So long as she doesn’t give it to someone- if she catches someone leaving she’ll tie a woven bracelet around their wrist and very seriously tell them to come back in one piece. (🤔 Training in hand-to-hand doesn’t really feel like a hobby in Eorzea, where it can be your whole job…. And sorta IS, her job… it’s her main class anyways ahaha. So I’m gonna leave that one off.) …. I don’t think there’s a common theme here aside from being time-fillers that a person can do anywhere without a lot of stuff to do it with 🤔

[Oddly Specific ?’s for if you wanna take a crack at it!]