#lmao I asked my sister to rate how bad she thought it was bc she got hers too

[makkie-is-screaming]

finally got my ears pierced 🎉

[lemonlovemeanslove]

while im on the topic, i wonder how much i personally have contributed to this problem, bc when it comes to making friends irl, where i can see what the person looks like before i get to know them, i have always hanged out and made friends with pretty people, with people that i find attractive. not bc im attracted to them per say, its more of an unconscious thing. and yes my idea of beauty goes beyond what social media said bc ive been friends with plenty of fat people, but thats bc i dont see fat as not attractive, not in other people , with me its more difficult bc ive been bullied by my mother about my weight since age 14 so im kinda sick when it comes to this topic in general, but that doesn't change the fact that the girls who i would consider to be amongst the best looking out of all girls ive been friends with was also the biggest, in both height and weight. But it feels like an excuse, bc if i don't find fatness to be a deterrer from beauty, doesn't that make me just as shallow?

i also realize that i actually dont have the greatest authority on this topic, being conventionally attractive, which my sister (who is STUNNING btw) reminded me of when we were talking about how looks really aren’t that important, when really, they are, its just that we have always benefited from that fact, and never really been victims of it (expect from our mother who HATES and i mean HATES our bodies, like my sister has never in her life been overweight, even by the bullshit medical definition, and yet she’s been called everything under the sun by our mom lmao)

I just think that i might actually not be that objective when it comes to this stuff. Like me not wearing makeup has NEVER been a on im going against society thing, or I actively dont want to participate in this aspect of the beauty change. I thought of it was boring and the idea of wearing something on my face is a sensory nightmare for me. i feel like im being suffocated when i wear makeup or nail polish, like i can feel it on me, which made me anxious. But if I hadn’t come from a family of good looking people with great skin, if i at any point in my life had struggled with acne, or anything similar, would I have submitted? despite how unpleasant wearing makeup is for me from a sensory point of view? bc im most certainly fucked up about weight and food and eating, and how falling into phases of disordered eating plenty of times in my life. idk if any of it would count as an eating disorder, i dont know what ''counts'' or what doesn’t (sorries if this is a very triggering way of speaking about this stuff just trying to be honest). But if i didnt know that my face was ''good'' lol, would my mess around body image be worse of? if i could rely on my face? bc its always been a comfort for me, being pretty. like im not a model which is fine bc i dont want to be, i don’t really want to look different face wise, I do really like my face. I would never rate my fave tho bc i think its sick to rate yourself the sick sick behaviour like never ever do it if people ask u to do it tell them no im not doing that weirdo. but like, when ive been upset of felt like a failure and i walk past a mirror i can stop and go well at least i have that god i love being pretty. i don’t really think that makes me a bad person, just that it's probs bad FOR me. to centre my looks less, which i dont do a lot compared to most girl my age (which isnt really saying anything given how fucked up everyone is nowadays) is probably in my best interest. But it's HARD. bc i really enjoy being pretty. i enjoy finding myself pretty I enjoy others finding me pretty. like this whole thing started bc i was introduced to a stranger and the first thing she said to me was wow ur really beautiful, like she looks great, and my friend said yes im always telling her that. and it make me feel GREAT. maybe better than i should. def more that we should, as humans.

At the same time, i worry about not being good looking enough for my family, like my parents are good looking, essentially my mom, who is gorge, and all my siblings are good looking, and i get this worry sometimes, like, what if im the least good looking of my siblings (i think this bc im the biggest out of all of them) which is crazy bc were siblings so we all look alike and several people have asked if me and my older sister are twins when they first meet us and she is pretty much my idea of beautiful but idk. Im fucked up both ways, i guess. I was never never ever self-conscious about my weight until my mother, so now im sick in that regard, but im also sick in the way i use my looks as a crutch. I need to work on both, admitting it to myself is probs a good first step or whatever. rant over i think

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[uno-writing]

@queer-verse's ask about ep 248!!! 🍿🥤🍭🍬🍫🧋

!!!!!WARNING MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW!!!!! !!!!!READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!!!

✨ep 248✨

Spoilers, proceed with caution

- god i hate terrance so much

- it started with this fuckin evil smirk

- every time i see him a go into max rage for 2 seconds b4 calming down

- God bless sera for calling out johns god awful disguise

- lmao she saw through his plot armor this time

- the way my boi covered his stalking was smooth af

- and omg their friendship? precious

- the best in the whole comic, fight me

- they know eachother so damn well

- my heart broke when John saw sera turning into seraphina

- but the difference this time is she cares for him sm

- "loosen up, itll be good for you" 😭

- they are eachother's biggest mom friend

- arlo is just the poor dude whis stck w them bc he has no other friends

- and omg seeing their competitiveness come back was a gift

- my heart rate went up when the ferris wheel showed up again like no sir can u plz not

- but im so glad they had this talk

- i have a feeling the ferris wheel is gonna be the setting of a few other important scenes as well

- john was trying so hard to cheer her up 😭

- and plz Arlo getting mad at him was adorable

- he was so worried lmao

- the beginning of mom arlo

- is it fuckin karma that Holden showed after i said that he appeared in like 5 episode and he wasn't important

- IS HOLDEN A PART OF SCEPTER NOOOOOOO

- WAS THAT EVEN HOLDEN???? I HOPE NOT

- Terrence is so full of bullshit theyre all so full of bullshit

- "we are sorry" who tf r u to speak for the whole organization??

- like actually how important is Terrance?

- was his speech an act he was told to say or legit authority?

- not closed off to the idea that we've been mislead about how bad spectre actually is

- its just way more likely that theyre trying to get her guard down by playing nice guys

- her sister warned her for a reason

- thankfully sera seems well aware of this lol. she aint falling for it

- and why do they want sera a highschool student, abeit a powerful and rich one, so badly by their side?

- like shes a literal kid. and she cant be manipulated into becoming a spectre extremist (for a lack of a better word) at this age

- surely they must know this. either they actually want her for an experiment or something (? throwing ideas at the wind here lol) or its ya dystopia plotholes

- like spectre is whole organization, possibly connected to the government, wtf do they want to do with a teen. then again they have other highschool students as literal spy agents so

- it's prolly just cuz shes super poweful. or was

- anyway I thought the ep was gon be John sera wholesome time followed by John Arlo wholesome time but I was lied too

- Boba anon 🧋

----

*See, I was really annoyed by Terrence but he’s starting to do what John does and make the full circle from hatred to loving in my mind

*Even with Sera calling out the disguise, I have no doubts that John’s gonna use it in the future still. He’s already gotten too much confirmation bias from when he followed Sera

*I love them so much. I think Dumbass Trio is still my fav friendship, but this episode shot John and Sera in a really close second (also John's sunshine face when he convinces Sera to have fun oh my god he's such a cutie pie when he's not being bloodthirsty)

*Sass Squad is just a circle of friends who are all the mom friend but all act like they aren’t

*I just rewatched the Fantastic Four movies from the early 2000’s and all I can think of when it comes to the UnO ferris wheel is this scene. Like, to be fair, it’d be pretty rad if this happens and someone has to catch it or stop it (cough arlo’s barrier is really similar to sue storm’s power cough). I don’t think uru-chan’s gonna do it, but idk, something’s definitely gonna happen with that ferris wheel. It’s had 3 of its own shots. Any more and it’s gonna have more screentime than my boy Holden😫

*I got such a kick out of Arlo scolding John (also Dumbass Trio my beloved on the carousel in the background)

*Unfortunately, I don’t think that’s Holden. That dude’s hair looks more slicked back than up like Holden has his hair. But can you imagine?? Like Holden’s just been a background character that’s been insanely loyal to Arlo and he just ends up becoming an important character bc of SPECTRE??? Like that’s an interesting storyline lmao

*Maybe Terrence is talking like that bc he’s like Sera’s manager and then there’s his bosses? Idk, I know some of my past managers kinda talked for the company just bc they’re the ones who were in charge over me?? Idk, I think he’s getting a power kick from having Sera on a metaphorical leash or he’s trying to win her over for SPECTRE.

*I’m assuming it’s bc of her power, maybe even her connection to Leilah. It seems like Leilah is maybe starting to doubt SPECTRE so maybe they’re trying to use Sera to keep one of their lead scientists and Sera’s power is just a benefit? Idk. *It seems like they’ve done this before so maybe they know how to bring Sera around to their side. Like I doubt anyone they’ve recruited in the same way they did Sera went along with it willingly at the beginning. I mean, I wouldn’t. I’d probably be petty and deal without my ability.

[norgestan]

I'm going back for seconds! Viri/Hugo, Nora/Miquel, Lucasim, Emma/You. Lol tbh I just want an Emma ship and I feel like we haven't properly settled for one. 😔 Who should end up with Emma, Mia excluded since you haven't watched Druck yet?

ardi round 2, i loooove this :)

VIRIHUGO:

i think at the end of the day i’m just resigned to virihugo’s existence. do i hate that they just Start pining for each other with no setup at all? yes. do i hate that their relationship was a noorhelm+vilde esque get-together where dylan is the one who ends up alone? yes (imagine if noora had told william something like “oh lol vilde is just some slut that goes for every boy around her, she’ll get over it soon and she doesn’t really care about us being together ;)”. bc that’s essentially what virihugo did LOL). do i hate that half of their clips are they just standing still and monologuing about each other? oh yes. do i care? not really. i would resent them a lot more if viri had been the protag of s3, but eskam had really compelling couples with noriquel and norandro so i just spend my time focusing on them and not the lesser part of the season.

viri is an endearing character, and although i didn’t like most of her subplot in s3, i do think eskam made her an interesting character with what they had and i’m happy she got a nice boyfriend that she has lots of fun with. moreover, norandro was lacking the enemies-to-lovers snarky interactions (too busy being a really compelling couple!) and the trope was picked up by hugo and viri. which i kinda dig, because those interactions were the only things that i enjoyed about various noorhelms in the skamverse - if most of them were like that and less bad abusive boy feminist girl jerk-fest, i wouldn’t loathe noorhelm as much as i do. although this also makes me wish viri and hugo had been that kind of dynamic from the start, and just gotten a lot of will-they-won’t-they glances from their friends throughout the show until they finally got into each other on s3. but i guess that would’ve made it impossible for eskam to use dylan just to *checks notes* make every person in the love triangle insanely infuriating, oh well.

tl;dr: they are allowed to exist.

NORIQUEL:

ardi, you just want to see the world burn LMAO

to me it’s hard to dislike any pairing with nora on it because she’s a very good character and that just means she’ll always have great dynamics with other good characters. and oh is miquel a good character. in a lot of ways, eskam gave us two great williams in one season: my boy alejandro, who is the perfect candidate for a nora love interest, who earned his place and then helped nora earn her place as the best candidate to be his love interest as well, and then miquel, that has just enough characterization to be exactly what the narrative of the season needs him to be - not only a mustache-twirling antagonist who will punch out then smirk his way out of situations, but a real person.

see, they could’ve made miquel into a one-dimensional asshole that nora is stupidly into because he’s hot (does that sound familiar to you? LOL) but oh no, miquel is way more than that. he earns nora’s trust because he’s not an asshole, he resents olga for cheating on him and you can see how nora waits until the moment where he’ll call her a slut but it NEVER comes, he defends nora in front of his friends... he gives her what she needs, and he fits right where she expects him to. and that’s so important in a season where every other character is challenging nora in one way or another: alejandro doesn’t fit in her box of “incorrigible fuckboy”, viri doesn’t fit in her box of “helpless friend who needs my pity”, emma doesn’t fit in her box of “s/a victim”. being with miquel is easy, when he just humors her and spits out thoughts that nora agrees with all the time. it’s just REALLY great to watch. not only is her season a display of how emotional abuse looks like, but also her entire relationship with miquel showcases her shame, her flaws, the things she needs to work with to better her relationships with the people who ask more of her because it’s only fair.

i honestly never was in the miquel hate train. once you get the point of the character, it’s easy to love him for what he is. as i said before, miquel was also a call of attention because the conversations that he had with nora reminded me of talks with male friends i’ve had in my uni years, and it really put it in perspective and made me realize that i have been humoring numerous miquels by sitting through their “i’m actually a feminist, ya know” think-pieces and agreeing with the general feeling of it. and i don’t think a character like niko could EVER make anyone feel like that.

i’ve checked the middle square because that was my reaction every time eskam made a point to parallel noriquel to noorhelm. like YES. YOU DO GET ME. TRULY A SEASON FROM NOORHELM ANTIS TO NOORHELM ANTIS. what a skamverse treat. this relationship is good for the SOUL. that’s why i never got infuriated watching the couple, despite knowing what the point of their existence was: at the end of the day, i knew that the signs of abuse weren’t pointless and just fillers for an end-of-season sex scene, but they were actually going to do something interesting with them. and that’s exactly what they did. noriquel is actually a perfectly crafted relationship for what its message is and it deserves to be remembered as that.

LUKASIM:

oh BOY.

i just.... kasim is in this relationship. that already makes this REALLY difficult to tackle it. the thing about kasim is... if you only watched the season as the movistar+ channel shows it, kasim is simply a plot device. he’s not a character. he’s only there to introduce conflict and stir some shit and then fuck off to the sunset. he doesn’t have an og counterpart which meant that eskam didn’t have to actually try with him, and kasim is just what they need him to be: a way to introduce the main conflict, a reason for dounia to hate amira, boy on boy action for that sweet fanservice, misogynist microaggressions towards amira, a loose way to wrap things up at the end of the season and absolve her from any guilt or shame, etc. he just shows up when the plot needs him and then walks away very swaggily. and that’s why kasim is an essay kind of topic because to talk about him, you have to tackle the racism in s4 and all the ways they could’ve made a conflict-inducing gay muslim guy actually likable. which i won’t do here.

but then if you look at the lucas extra clips... he’s actually LIKABLE. he’s a character: he has personality, he’s funny, he doesn’t take lucas’ shit, he will only be with him if lucas apologizes and changes first. and as someone who desperately wants to protect kasim from the shit characterization and treatment he got in the show, i treasure those clips immensely - which i don’t think a lot of people do, and i can see why. it’s just sad that the moments where kasim was a likable, real character were hidden behind a paywall, and drown in a convoluted plotline of outing people when they behave badly as a good punishment. the thing about their get-together is that their impact relies only on amira, and is meant to make her life a living hell. other than that, there’s not really a narrative or character reason why they’re both into each other. is it only because they’re conventionally attractive guys and the only recurrent mlm in the show? wow, that shit’s BORING.

sigh, anyway. in a slightly better world, kasim being gay wasn’t actually a nuance as it was presented in the show. rather, kasim was out and confident about it, close to his sister, probably a regular in las labass where he could also work with organizations of other queer muslims in madrid. this also means that lucas and kasim’s relationship wasn’t the typical hidden gay love story that they were in the actual show, but they’re just, ya know. typical gay kids who made out in the club and then became just friends. or lucas’ activism on s2 warranted some instagram dms and then they upgraded to acquaintances. it’s upsetting that lucas is the only eskild who doesn’t really get to hangout or be in queer circles like other eskilds are implied to, so it would be great for him to actually have gay friends that he enjoys just as much as his primarily friend group. like, their version of lucas’ queer lifestyle being going to bars and hooking up with older guys it’s so....................... why. they didn’t have the time to say anything interesting about it and so obviously they didn’t do it lol. at this rate lucas’ only platonic queer companion is cris, which is lackluster to say the least.

the decision of making kasim lucas’ endgame is just another one on the list of things s4 got so, so wrong. what for? why does lucas need (another) boyfriend, again? why does every queer person in this show have to be dating someone and also come out to their parents? again, their relationship is just another rushed hidden gay love story that i found interesting at 13 years old and then never again. they could’ve taken it into ANY other direction, please. i’m begging.

anyways, you had really nice headcanons of lucas being the only eskild willing to revert to date a muslim guy, so that’s the only reason why i’m open to the idea of them being a couple. in a better universe, eskam actually made a case for these two being a good couple, and i agreed with it. as it is for now, it’s just really pointless, and rooted on the fact that kasim is not a real character to begin with. so i’m OBVIOUSLY sending them to superhell <3

EMMA/ME:

standard wlw relationship that would probably get sooooo much backlash about how neither of the characters Really feel like wlw and the emma love interest being boring as fuck, tbh.

alright, now that we’ve covered all that.... should dear emma grace even end up with someone in the skamverse? maybe one of the skamau girlies, given the proximity? maybe she’ll hook up with the female eskild that i know so many people dislike? idk. emma deserves a nice love story, in the same wavelength as nora. she deserves someone who is patient, who communicates well, who establishes boundaries and asks for respect, who understands she’s not only the act of crazy party girl and there are really interesting, carefully placed layers around her. maybe someone who went through a similar situation or at the very least sits down with her and tries their hardest to understand all the things going on with her life. like... there’s something about emma dropping the accusations and then dipping to another country, away from her parents and even her hometown in the states, just to throw herself in a city as busy as nyc is, that is desperately asking to be explained and explored. in a lot of ways, emma’s story is the other side of the noora story that couldn’t be told through nora’s perspective. in a perfect universe, there’s a spinoff that takes place right between s3 and s4, where emma gets the news of how much of a shithead miquel actually is and she has to question all of that yet again, and break the sense of normalcy and comfort she had built during all those years. it would be great if that story featured her closest friendships, and a newfound love. yes i was serious when i talked about the emma grace spinoff @ movistar+

[grapesodatozier]

Nerd Charming

fluffy mutual pining mileven modern high school au!! el is the quiet but somewhat popular girl crushing on mike, who is a nerd. bc he’s mike lmao. also, is this title a rip off of geek charming? perhaps. no one tell d*sney lol

rating: teen and up (some cursing)

words: 1,569

read on ao3 or below!

El picked absently at her cookie as she gazed across the cafeteria. The general shouts of the room blended with whatever her friends were talking about, all of it white noise to her. She was completely in her own mind as she watched Mike Wheeler talk animatedly about something with his friends. She grinned subtly to herself as his face broke out in laughter. El loved how much of his face his smile took up. He had the brightest smile she had ever seen. She watched as he gestured to some garbage in front of his one friend, Will, and then took it, along with his own empty bag and napkins, to the garbage can in the middle of the aisle. God, he was so thoughtful. That was El’s favorite thing about Mike; he was just nice. And his hair looked soft. And he was tall. And smart. And she liked the sound of his voice.

“I can’t believe that’s who you choose to drool over.” Max’s voice pulled El from her reverie. She lightly elbowed her friend, her cheeks burning red; none of their other friend’s knew about El’s crush, and she intended to keep it that way. They were all nice, but El was a private person, and while they were nice, they could also be loud, and they all talked to a lot of people. They weren’t snotty popular girls, but they were all looped in on school gossip. Hell, it was what they were talking about right then. El didn’t want to be the subject of any conversation like that, and she especially didn’t want news of her crush on Mike getting around. Luckily, all of the rest of the girls at their table were deeply engaged in whatever they were talking about, so they hadn’t heard. Still, El shushed Max when she said, “You know, Lucas and I share math notes sometimes, I bet I could wingman for you.”

“Stop,” El murmured, embarrassed.

“El, come on! You’re like ten leagues out of his league. He’d be over the fucking moon if he knew how bad you have it for him.”

“I’m not out of his league,” El said pointedly. Mike and his friends… were not popular. Honestly, El only knew all of their names because, after a week of freaking out over whether or not she should, she finally friended Mike on Facebook and may have looked through his pictures. El had heard a couple remarks about Mike here and there, had seen the boys who sat in the back of the classroom mocking him when he answered questions in their English class, and she didn’t like it when people said mean things about him, even if she knew Max was kidding. Max threw up her hands in surrender. “And what if he likes someone else? Like, there’s no reason he would like me. We’ve barely talked.”

“That’s where the wingman comes in!”

“No! And keep your voice down!” El looked furtively at Mike to find him listening intently to something Dustin Henderson was saying. 

In a staged whisper, Max said, “I just want you to do something for you! Take a risk!” When El just rubbed at her neck, folded in on herself, Max added in a softer voice, “El, he seems like a super sweet guy. Even on the 0.02% chance he does turn you down, I bet he’d be super nice about it. He’d probably buy you a pizza.” El grinned at that.

After a moment of silent contemplation, she gave Max a small, “Maybe.” Then she stuffed her cookie in her mouth so she wouldn’t have to say anything else on the subject.

-----

English had always been El’s favorite subject. She loved getting lost in stories, loved watching them unfold, loved falling in love with characters. She loved mining for hidden meanings and making her own. It was the only subject that felt more like a hobby than work. And this year English was even better, because Mike was in her class. Sure, maybe she should’ve been happier that she had two friends in her class, sweet girls she ate lunch with and talked to. But she loved hearing what Mike had to say, and she sat a bit behind and beside him so she was free to watch him throughout the lecture without worrying about him catching her. The only time he looked at her was when she was answering a question, giving her take on the chapter they were discussing. She never felt so seen, so heard. He looked at her with genuine interest, and his eyes were so kind; they didn’t make her question herself, they made her feel even more confident in what she was saying.

They were finishing up the book they’d been reading, having finished for homework the night before. They’d had a test after finishing the first book of the year, but apparently their teacher felt like switching things up, as this time she assigned them a project as soon as class started. El listened intently and took notes as the teacher explained the project. It seemed fun; there were a few options to choose from, all of them creative. El’s heart stopped, however, when her teacher said that this was a pairs’ project, and that they would be picking their partners. Immediately, her eyes flew to Mike, but she quickly snapped them back to her notebook in case he saw. 

She thought about what Max said. She also thought about her grade. She didn’t want to brag, but she knew that she and Mike were the best two students in the class, the two who cared the most. So really, it was in her GPA’s interest and her heart’s interest to pair up with him.

Unfortunately, she had all of class to stew and overthink, because the teacher told them they’d have two minutes at the end of class to find partners. They went over the ending for most of the period, she and Mike answering most of the questions, as per usual. At one point her friend slipped her a note reading, “wanna ask if we can be a group of 3?” El blushed as she scribbled back, “I think I’m gonna ask Mike to be my partner, thanks though!” She added a smiley face and a heart for good measure.

Then it was the end of the period, and people were chatting with their friends and the people around them. El popped out of her seat and took a deep breath before tapping Mike on the shoulder. She fiddled with her hands and smiled at him as he looked up at her. God, his eyes were brown, and they had shades of amber and red in them, like his hair. “Hi,” she said softly. 

“Hey,” he smiled, like he was astounded to see her.

“Would you wanna be partners for the project?” she asked. Her heart was racing.

It took a moment, but soon he blurted out, “Yeah, that, that would be great!” He stumbled over his words a little bit, and El noticed a red color rising to his cheeks that made her heart flutter. 

“Are you free this weekend?” God, her heart was racing, she could hear her blood rushing in her ears. But Mike was beaming that beautiful smile, the one that always knocked her off her feet and made her think Taylor Swift may have known what she was talking about when she wrote that one line about a smile lighting up a whole town.

“Yeah!”

El grinned and bit her lip. “Great.”

Mike seemed to shake himself out of something and asked, “Can I uh, can I get your number? I can send you my address, I’ve got a basement so my mom and sisters won’t bother us.”

El nodded and fumbled to get out her phone. She unlocked it and handed it to Mike, watching as he entered his number into her phone. She couldn’t help but notice how pretty and slim his fingers were, how big his hands were. She wanted so badly to know how small her hand would look in his, how it would feel to have their fingers interlaced. It was only made worse when he handed her phone back to her and their hands brushed, making El’s breath stop. And then he stood up to gather his books and pack up his bag, and oh wow, he was even taller up close. El was the perfect height to rest her head on his chest, right in the crook of his neck. “So, I’ll see you this weekend?” he asked, a sweet smile on his lips.

“Yeah!” El nodded. “I’ll text you. So you have my number.”

Mike nodded and grinned at her. El wanted to stay frozen in that moment, but there were other students rushing around them now, and she had to pack up her bag and get to her next class. “Well, see you around,” Mike said with the cutest little wave El had ever seen.

She was floating on air as she walked to her next class. If other students jostled her, she didn’t notice. She was too busy imagining what it would be like to be alone with Mike Wheeler. God, she was nervous, but she also felt so giddy. She couldn’t wait to tell Max. Even more, she couldn’t wait for the weekend.

[benisalilbitch]

Please rate my sweetheart Anarietta

Thank you for the ask! And of course I'll do. You people have managed to get most of my faves so far lmao and I'm loving it.

If anyone's curious, there's still one that hasn't been asked and it's on my blog, in case anyone wants to guess. If not, just keep sending your faves over please!!

Anna Henrietta

She's the hottest duchess Toussaint has ever had and I love her. Will bang 15/10.

Anna Henrietta knows everybody's business, she knows everything about everyone. That's why her hair is so big, it's full of secrets. (lmao)

Anarietta is one of the hottest characters in the entire game and I just can't get over her lovely voice (thank you MyAnna Buring) and her sexy accent. We need more characters with hot accents in this mf game. She knows she is sexy af, but she also knows the power she holds and you know I'm a simp for hot, confident women who take no shit.

She gives exactly 0 fucks and just does her thing. That part where Geralt checked her out when she ripped her skirt? Hot. I also checked her out, bc I'm also a dumb slut like my boy. She doesn't care for politics and things like that when her people are in danger and I love her. Anarietta may look like spoiled royalty, but she is one fair and tough ruler. I would not want to get on her bad side... But the thought of her talking to me with an angry tone and that sexy accent? My ass might just risk selling some Sangreal on the low just to get my hot duchess mad at me.

Anarietta is one badass girl and she isn't afraid to tell my dumb slut witcher off when he fucks up, which he doesn't, but I'm not about to go and contradict the duchess. She is also very classy, sweet and charismatic. She also loves her family, even if they're a bit psycho, and will do anything to protect them. I also adore that Toussaint is one of the few places where people aren't mean to witchers and they actually praise my baby Geralt and it speaks volumes about the kind of person Anarietta is.

She also is one of those people you can't tell no to. My queen will do whatever the fuck she pleases and you'll just have to deal with it... Which gives me a fair idea of how she might be behind doors, which I'm totally into.

And aren't her clothes just the best? I admit I might have a bit of an outfit kink, but I just can't help it when they are so well dressed. My girl obviously has taste and class and she looks hot as fuck in all her dresses. I would have loved to see her without them, but my duchess isn't a slut like Geralt, so she plays hard to get (unlike her weird sister). I'll eventually ask Dandelion for tips and talk my way into my duchess bedchambers, don't you worry about it.

I will say I disliked her a bit because I got the ending where Anarietta hates us and just lives in denial, but I understand her. I'm sad that my hot witcher got yelled at, but he had a more than pleasant surprise waiting for him at his estate to make up for that whole shitshow. Still, I love Anna Henrietta and her crazy ass and I wouldn't change a thing about her.

Anna Henrietta can definitely yell at me in that sexy accent and slap me anytime she wants and I'd say thank you.

Send me The Witcher 3 characters and I'll rate them along with my thot thoughts.

[dudeandduchess]

Rating/Genre: Slight NSFW, Modern AU Characters: Rengoku Shinjurō x F!Reader, Mentions of Sanemi x F!Reader Chapters: 1/10 Summary: Shinjurō and (Y/n) are in a D/s arrangement, but he wants more so he tries to lay the world at her feet in the hopes that she would say yes to being his. Unfortunately, (Y/n) shoots him down every time, since she’s not swayed by his money or influence.But Shinjurō is more determined than ever to keep her, so he will stop at nothing to keep her for himself. Warnings: Daddy Kink, Language, D/s Themes

NOTE: Ooh! Finally, I finished the first chapter. Don’t worry if this leaves a lot of questions unanswered, bbys. All of them will be answered soon enough. Ratings will also change per chapter bc what’s a fic without smut? Lmao. Hope y’all like it. 💜✨

***

Drab couldn’t even begin to describe just how mind-numbingly boring dinner was for (Y/n). Her attention was clearly elsewhere, with her chin propped against the backs of her fingers, while her left arm perched itself on the armrest of the chair she was in.

If she had any say in things, she would have rather been somewhere else but at that dinner table; preferably beneath a domineering man with a fiery mane of hair, who went by the name Rengoku Shinjurō.

But, as it was, she had to put her family affairs first— if only to keep their suspicions from arising.

She had already blown their invitations off by pretending to have either been stuck with taping her TV series, or to have been tied up at one of her races. When, in truth, she had been spending every moment she could with her older lover.

If her uppity family found out just who she had been seeing for the past year, then she would be disowned. No questions asked. And she didn’t want that— no matter how overbearing and irritating they were on most days.

She couldn’t fathom living in a world where she wasn’t being subjected to her father’s repetitive life lessons, or her brothers’ dumb conversation starters. Nor could she imagine never talking to her mother ever again.

Sure, she would have her billionaire lover, but that was different.

“Do you have any new races coming up, (Y/n)?” (L/n) Asahi— her father and the Chairman of the (L/n) Group— asked before polishing off the remnants of his whiskey in one go. He used to be completely against her racing hobby, until her brothers had brought him to one of her races and made him realize just how well she could handle herself.

The young woman lifted her head from her hand and blinked herself awake— which earned a round of chuckles from her two older brothers. She rolled her eyes at their childish reactions, before turning to their father with a smile. “I have one this weekend. If you want, I can reserve a suite for you.”

“I’ll be bringing a potential investor, if that’s alright,” Asahi answered with a mirthful chuckle, then turned to look at his eldest son.

“Are you talking about the CEO for the Rengoku Group?” Akira— the eldest of the three (L/n) siblings— piped up enthusiastically; as if he were talking about a messiah instead of the man whom his sister knew all too well.

Immediately, (Y/n) felt her heart stop in her chest at the very mention of Shinjurō’s string of companies. When they first began their arrangement, they had agreed to stay away from each other’s businesses as much as possible, so she didn’t know what he was going on about with contacting her family.

She didn’t want anyone knowing about her and Shinjurō, not because she was ashamed of him, but because she didn’t want their relationship to taper out once a lot of people knew about them and felt the need to share their unwarranted opinions.  That, and also because of the fact that her family would be severely against their relationship— mostly because of the twelve-year age gap between them.

Most people got married with much larger age gaps, but her family was cut from a different cloth. Her mother would have a heart attack if she ever found out that she had even secretly purchased a suburban home with him, which served as their little hideaway.

“The very man himself. He seemed interested in partnering up with our automotive parts company, since he’s trying to dabble in the automobile industry. Last we spoke, he mentioned using artificial intelligence…”

(Y/n)’s head felt like it was going to explode, as her pulse skyrocketed. All she could think about was how Shinjurō was blatantly breaking their agreement to never get mixed up with each other’s professional lives.

Because, whether he liked it or not, she was still involved with her family’s companies. He also knew that the less connections between them that the press could get their hands, the better; since that would make it easier for her PR team to sweep things under the rug, if the need ever arose.

But there he was putting both of their reputations in jeopardy.

Hell, to keep their reputations clean was the sole reason why they had bought a house in the middle of Saitama in the first place. Hiding in plain sight was the name of the game, and they were winning; they had been for a year.

“He did talk about that. Are you going to get one of those smart cars for yourself, (Y/n)?” Kenji— the second eldest child of the (L/n)s— asked his sister. It stood to reason that he would ask her, as she had a penchant for trying out the latest cars in the market, but (Y/n) would be damned if she didn’t admit that the simple question made her heart race at the thought of him knowing.

She didn’t even want to imagine what the tabloid headlines would be like if the whole world found out about her and Shinjurō. Rather, if they found out what they did in their spare time.

“I’m not too sure. I’ll have to look into it, nii-san,” The young woman answered with a slight grin. It felt so forced to her, but she had to commend her acting skills for allowing her to fake her way through most of her social blunders.

After all, she banked on those acting skills on an almost daily basis.

“If they’re partnering up with us, then I’m sure it will be to your taste,” Akira piped up— so self-assured about their own company’s products that it made (Y/n) actually chuckle. “You’ll finally replace that Panamera you’ve had since forever.”

That made the (L/n) heiress quirk an eyebrow at her older brother, before curling her upper lip in blatant distaste at his words. She loved her brothers, she really did, but sometimes their heads got all the way up in their asses. “Unlike you, I don’t treat my cars like I do my lovers. How long did the last one last again? Three days?”

“At least I have someone to warm my bed whenever I want. How long has it been since Shinazugawa, huh? A year and a half? And you’re still not over him?” Akira shot back with a sneer; which had all four pairs of eyes narrowing at him for even bringing that up.

“How dare you mention that man’s name in this house, Akira?” (L/n) Ichika— the matriarch of the family— hissed at her eldest child. She looked so livid as she gripped the stem of her wine glass tighter than was necessary.

It was safe to say that no one in her family was fond of the bad boy racer whom had monopolized (Y/n)’s time and attention for the better part of three years. The worst part was that he had been absolutely perfect to her; the perfect gentleman, the perfect lover, the perfect partner— until it was time for them to actually settle down.

He chickened out four months before their wedding, profusely apologizing to (Y/n) and her family for the scandal that he had inadvertently rained down upon all of them. Only to have him be banned from ever setting foot on any of the (L/n) Group’s personal and professional properties.

No matter how shameful that was for her, (Y/n) still understood where Sanemi was coming from. He wasn’t used to always being in the spotlight, and being with her as her lover had put him in the very center of all of it.

And, had he become her husband, things could have only gotten worse for him— who wanted to keep his life as private as possible.

“Suck my cock, Akira,” (Y/n) spat at her brother, before flipping him the finger. She wanted so badly to introduce him to Shinjurō— whom he considered a god amongst men— if only to shut him up, but she held herself back.

Because doing so would ruin her carefully crafted plans to hide their relationship. If she could hide it forever, then she would; because to let others know about them would be like inviting the whole world to view her life as a spectacle, and she didn’t want that.

If (Y/n) had a choice, she would rather keep Shinjurō as her dirty little secret if it meant that she would be his for longer. Because, no matter how hard she tried to deny it, she wasn’t ready to lose him.

Maybe she never would be. But she still had to be prepared for when he got tired of her, so she always had to be on guard whenever they were together.

She didn’t want another Sanemi, after all.

Just as Akira was about to reply, the shrill ringing of (Y/n)’s phone cut through the tense air. Her eyes darted down to the phone in her lap, as she had been texting Shinjurō earlier— and forgot to reply— and bit down on her bottom lip when his name on her phone flashed across the screen.

Incoming Call: Daddy.

“Excuse me. It’s an important call.” (Y/n) didn’t even wait for any of her family members to answer. She merely got up from her seat and tossed her napkin beside her barely touched frozen raspberry soufflé.

Immediately, she hightailed it to the bathroom across the dining room; unmindful of the incessant clicking of her heels against the marble flooring. Normally, she would have tried to get there with as much poise and grace that she could muster, but time was of the essence, as Shinjurō was not a very patient man.

The moment she locked the door behind her, she answered the call and pressed her phone up to her ear. “Hello, daddy.”

Should either of her brothers had heard her, they would have laughed— because the soft and affectionate tone that came from (Y/n) wasn’t commonly heard from her outside her movies and shows. If anything, they heard her curse at them more times than they could ever count.

“Hi, baby. Enjoying your dinner?” Shinjurō’s smooth timbre practically caressed her senses over the phone, and she had to lick her suddenly dry lips before swallowing thickly.

“I’d rather have your cock for dinner,” She purred quietly, then moved to squeeze her thighs together at the surge of heat that pooled between her legs. Just the thought of being in bed with him— with his cock in her mouth— had her feeling all sorts of needy. “But you’re still in Shanghai.”

The older man chuckled at that, and the sound of rustling could be heard as he laid on the king sized bed in his and (Y/n)’s bedroom. “My business deals got closed early, so I’m home now. I’ll see you in a bit, baby.”

By home, he meant their house in Saitama— as he’d always meant— and that made the young woman smile, as her heart practically leapt with excitement at the prospect of being with her lover once more.

“Okay, Daddy. I’ll be home soon.”

Masterlist

[manhattan-gamestop]

DUDE irt your tags saying "the all time low pit was absolutely lawless" YEAH... I SAW THEM LAST DECEMBER FOR NIGHT ONE IN NJ OF THE NOTHING PERSONAL 10 YR ANNIVERSARY SHOWS AND THE PIT FULLY FUCKING *COLLAPSED* DURING JASEY RAE LOL

YEAH IKR????? My pit didn’t collapse (outdoor venue), but I am DEFINITELY not surprised. My experience in the All Time Low pit was a Buckwild Experience, and legitimately has made me not go Pit to a concert since

I went pit for All Time Low at Warped 2018 at the end of the festival, so I was already hella dehydrated and sunburnt and what-have-you. I was in like the fourth row to the barrier, which, as you may know, is a BAD PLACE to be!!! because that tends to be where crowdsurfers (who ATL Actively Encouraged) get dropped on you. I was also surrounded by tall, sweaty people and slowly getting separated from my group of Older Peers, so I was not having a Great Time. This Not Great Time was made worse when at like the third-to-last song, the lead singer says something along the lines of “IF YOU CAN CROWDSURF OVER THE BARRIER I’LL KISS YOU”

Since I was a 5′3′‘, 17 year-old babygay, who was now fully separated from my group of my older sister and her buds, that was the WORST news I could ever hear. And, to make a long story short, with the rate people were being dropped on me and the gradually building fear that I was just gonna Die like this, I ended up having a full-blown panic attack in the pit.

My sister eventually found me, and because I was in roughly the fourth row to the barrier, the best way to get me out of the pit was to have me crowdsurf the four rows and get taken out by security. However, (I don’t remember this part but my sister told me afterwards), several fans didn’t LET me crowdsurf to the front, because they thought I was trying to get to the front to Kiss the lead singer, which is. Bullshit bc I was like. bawling and shaking and very visibly Not Okay at this point. My sister eventually talked to the security guards that would be taking me out, and they forced some of the crazier fans to comply. But, I will say that there were some genuinely good people who helped me out and confronted those die-hard fans about how ridiculous they were being. And I very much appreciate those people in hindsight.

But yeah! I’d been in SEVERAL pits before that one (like Panic! At the Disco, Andrew McMahon and the Wilderness, Weezer, Black Veil Brides, Mayday Parade, etc.) and NONE of them had a pit that was that batshit insane. I talked to one of my sister’s friends after I’d recovered from the panic attack, and she said All Time Low crowds are SUPER scary. Though, she ALSO said that they’re calmer on the East Coast, which your ask kind of contradicts. Wild! While there’s a lot of things I miss in the pandemic, concert pits aren’t one of them, and if it takes a few years of chiller concerts to transition to normalcy, I’m more than okay with that lmao

[radicalposture]

Hey, so were you diagnosed with autism/adhd as an adult? If you don't mind me asking, was that difficult to achieve? I'm 25, and I've often thought I might have adhd, but I've held off on looking into it because I hear it's extremely difficult and expensive to get it tested and diagnosed as an adult.

yes I only got diagnosed last october, I was 25 then too! it was kind of a weird journey for me, all of my siblings and my dad got diagnosed with autism or adhd one after the other and I was still saying “but I can’t really be autistic/adhd” right up until I actually got diagnosed lol. but since then my whole life suddenly makes sense for the first time and I really think things are gonna be ok! this applies to autism/adhd/other neurodiverse stuff but autism and adhd is what I know, but I hope it applies broadly as well

so unfortunately yes, it can be pretty expensive to get through the whole process. depends on where you live of course, I live in Ireland so even though we do have public healthcare I would probably have been on a waiting list for upwards of two years to see a terrible psychologist who didn’t know anything about adhd/autism so I went to a private psychologist. I already knew her pretty well bc my siblings had been to her and I knew she knew what she was talking about and I felt comfortable with her. seeing her cost me around €900 which is definitely a lot, different psychologists have different rates but the price can go up depending on what tests u get done. the more tests you do the more expensive it will be as a general rule (at the same time I saw a different psychologist who had a lower flat rate so idk what the “rules” are about this tbh) I got a standard assessment as well as autism and adhd tests which is why it was so expensive. it used up pretty much all my savings lmao but after getting a diagnosis I was able to apply for disability allowance (which was a hellish process) and I got rejected and had to appeal the decision but I got it in the end, which is fortunate bc I quit my job lol.

recently I wanted to look into medication so I had to go to a psychiatrist because you can’t get a prescription for stimulant medication from a gp in most countries I think? BUT he’d only see me if I got rediagnosed by his psychologist, so that was another €300 for each of them. I did get prescribed ritalin in the end but I’ll have to get the prescription refilled a few times a year bc it’s a restricted medication, which will mean paying €100 ish for each time I do. fortunately I don’t actually have to pay for the medication itself bc I have a medical card.

so yes, it can be expensive! all told it’s cost me almost €2000 to get it all sorted and will keep costing me maybe €300 a year from now on, so it’s definitely something you have to budget for. especially depending on where you live, I imagine things are v different from country to country. also I’m very fortunate bc I still live with my family so I’m free of some financial pressure and I’d been saving for it for a while but I know how hard it is to countenance paying out that kind of money, and wondering whether it’s worth it.

as to whether it’s difficult to achieve I think you’ve got to break it down because official diagnosis is only part of it. so if you think you do have ADHD I’d look at it from a couple of different angles:

1. self acceptance/understanding is absolutely the most important thing. I know people who’ve never been to a psych who know they’re autistic/adhd and really flourish, I also know people who have official diagnoses but who won’t accept it themselves and reject help/support and they’re making things so hard for themselves. so the most important thing is to educate yourself about what adhd means and, more importantly, what it means for you. everyone’s brain is different and understanding exactly how your brain works and why you think/behave the way you do is the most important thing you can do. there are a lot of resources out there, especially online, - I’ll put a link to a google drive of books and things I have at the bottom - and it can be good to connect with others online as well. having people who Get It and can help you is really paramount, I know often our irl families/friends can sometimes let us down so sometimes the only support you can get is from following ppl on twitter or something. the adhd subreddit is weirdly helpful and supportive, it’s great to be able to throw out a question like “I think like this am I insane y/n” and have other people go “nah ur fine” it’s very validating (also validation/external perspectives is super important for adhd bc we can be extremely bad at self assessment). so yes, the most important thing is firstly to know thyself by 1) educating yourself and 2) listening/connecting with others like u.

2. is it important to have an “official” diagnosis? no and yes. obviously you don’t need a diagnosis from a doctor to know what you are, and 70% of the things needed to help you flourish are going to come from your own research and the support systems you make. and if you cant afford or access a psychologist or psychiatrist it doesn’t make it any less real or bar you from educating yourself/accessing resources etc. HOWEVER. if you can get a good diagnosis then I really would go for it, bc: 1) it opens a LOT of doors to official resources, whether that’s access to welfare, supports and accommodations at school or college, medication, etc etc. a lot of the time the supports we need are behind this diagnostic paywall, which sucks but it is what it is :/ so that’s one consideration. 2) it can be really validating and help set your mind at ease about whether you “really” have adhd or if you’re “faking”. like I said I didn’t believe that I was “allowed” to be autistic before I got diagnosed. I also didn’t consider that I might have adhd, I went in thinking I’d just get the autism diagnosis so it wasn’t something I would have found out on my own probably. so it can be good to get an outside opinion, especially as, like I said, we can be really bad at self assessment. 3) it feels good to know you have a piece of paper to throw at rude family members/teachers/doctors who don’t believe it’s real 4) if you can find a good psychiatrist/psychologist it can be such a good thing to have that support and to get genuinely good advice from a professional you trust. doesn’t always happen but if u can find one it’s a godsend

wow this got long. to summarise, if you think you have adhd or anything else I would

research and educate yourself. for adhd probably the best thing to do is read driven to distraction and delivered from distraction, written by two psychiatrists who are adhd themselves. they’re both in this google drive along with loads of other resources I’ve collected, there’s also books about autism as well. as a disclaimer not everything/everyone here has my 100% endorsement some of it is there for academic/historical interest or only parts are helpful but by and large it’s useful. also watch this video and feel Seen

look for a good psychologist/psychiatrist if you’re going for a diagnosis. see if there’s an adhd organisation in your country/area and if they can recommend anyone. a lot of the time you’re better going to a child/educational psychologist who’ll see adult clients as they tend to Get It more. do look for someone who is clear about having experience in adult adhd bc unfortunately even qualified psychologists get a LOT wrong so make sure you get someone who knows what they’re doing before you give them your money

yes it can be really expensive. but if you’re needing to access things like medication or welfare I think it’s well worth the trouble and the money. my sister got diagnosed in her second year of college and was able to save her degree bc of extensions on projects and things like that (I didn’t get diagnosed until after college and spent four years torturing myself I WISH I had known) and it can be something that’s better done sooner rather than later. So if it’s something you can do without putting yourself in financial danger I think it’s good to bite the bullet and go for it. like I used up basically all my savings BUT I now can access disability payments and medication so it was worth it for me. it’ll be different for everyone so use your judgement obviously

anyway hope this helped! let me know if you need anything else! and good luck on your journey

[singtheskyandfightlikehell]

Eurovision 2019 Opinions

Well, the 26 countries that will be participating in the final are official now, so here’s my in depth thoughts about each entry, ranked from least favorite to favorite along with explanations and a 10 pt rating system. honestly i thought this year was solidly mediocre. a few i really like, about 3 i can’t stand, and the rest are all smack dab in the middle of “decent”. of course, these are just my opinions and I totally get that people will disagree with them. i don’t really care. yeah there’s a few i’ll judge you for, but frankly my opinion shouldn’t matter to you. i’m just posting it for my own record and for anyone who might be curious

26. Slovenia (0/10) I know a lot of people like this entry, but frankly, I cannot stand it. It’s boring. It’s awkward. It’s uncomfortable. If I wanted to watch an m/f couple - or, you know what, any couple - stand really close to each other and mumble for three minutes, I - I don’t actually know where I’d go, because I can’t conceptualize myself ever wanting to see that.

25. Denmark (0/10) Again, why? This entry annoys me a lot, and the only reason I didn’t put it last was because I appreciate the use of more than one language. It’s my least favorite parts of all kids shows combined coupled with a message that honestly I disagree with. It feels a bit like she’s judging me for being upset at injustice in the world when I should just shut up and be happy about what I have. I’m sorry, but I don’t believe it’s acceptable to ignore atrocities just because my life is filled with good things. I could imagine this song being the welcoming number in a musical staged in one of those “everything is perfect on the outside but inside it’s the creepiest shit you’ve ever seen” towns that’s used to hypnotize the protagonist into not noticing the creepy shit

24. Estonia (1/10) I don’t honestly dislike this song, but it does bore me. He’s a mediocre singer with a mediocre song. Also I can’t get past the fact that he rhymes “this” with “this”. It distracts me and ruins the whole thing.

23. Czech Republic (2/10) I really didn’t like this one at first. It was irritating and the lyrics were weird. However, I surprisingly enjoyed the live performance. The lead singer has some charisma on stage. Good for him.

22. San Marino (3/10) No idea how he got to the final (I know it’s bc he’s a meme, but still), but I don’t hate the song. I don’t think it should win, but honestly, I think it’s fun. His voice is ridiculous, but I can stand it for three minutes.

21. UK (4/10) I definitely feel like this is the kind of generic song I’ve heard many times before, but he does a good job with it, and ultimately it’s alright. His hair makes me think of Finn Shelby from Peaky Blinders, but that’s neither here nor there.

20. North Macedonia (4/10) Honestly, I feel like I should like this song more than I do. She has a good voice, and the song has a good message. Unfortunately, it’s just never clicked with me, and I often find myself tuning out while listening to it.

19. Israel (5/10) I like his voice. He sells the emotion. Not a gripping song, by any means, but not bad. Some of the rhymes feel a little forced, like the lyrics were written specifically so that they would rhyme, rather than because they have meaning.

18. Germany (5/10) This one gets stuck in my head sometimes, but I’m okay with that. Tbh, I quite like it. Plus, the whole “sisters (but I’d say girls in general) are taught to tear each other down but need to build each other up instead” theme is one I wholeheartedly support. I spent too many years hating everything associated with girls because society told me to.

17. Malta (5/10) I go back and forth on this one a lot. Parts of it I like, parts of it I don’t. It feels a bit different to me, but not like, in a revolutionary way. The singer is strong, and it definitely gets the award for most colorful performance, literally!

16. Serbia (5/10) I feel like I’ve heard this entry before, too, but specifically at Eurovision. Still, she does a good job with it, and I like her armor-inspired jewelry. Plus, it’s not in English!

15. Belarus (5/10) Another one I go back and forth on. I find this is very good study music - energetic and repetitive enough not to be distracting. I don’t love it (I’m even hesitant to say I like it lmao), but people really ought to stop hating on her so much. She’s sixteen. Let her have her fun.

14. Albania (6/10) I really liked Albania’s entry this year tbh. I didn’t feel she sang as strong in the semi-final as she did in the music video, but otherwise I thought it was a very powerful song. The staging was pretty cool, too!

13. Azerbaijan (6/10) I loved everything about this except the refrain. The “shut up about it” bit starts to get on my nerves by about the second refrain. But the verses sounded cool and the staging was awesome!

12. Sweden (6/10) Not the most exciting song in the world, but he sounds good, the ladies sound great, and there’s nothing I dislike about the song or staging.

11. Cyprus (6/10) Not as good as the music video, sadly, but still catchy and fun. I didn’t really like it the first time I heard it, but it’s grown on me since. I felt bad for her being put on the spot with that one “are you mad about Cyprus losing last year” question.

10. Greece (6/10) Definitely grew on me. I tuned out of it the first time I heard it. Prior to the semi finals I thought it was alright. But she really gave us the lesbian dream, huh? Ladies with neat clothes and swords, plus a garden? What more can you ask for lmao

9. France (7/10) Feels kinda standard to me, but not in the worst way possible. Sometimes I get really into it, other times it’s just a nice song. I’ve been liking it a little bit more each time I hear it, though.

8. Netherlands (7/10) The favorite to win, and I’d be okay if it did. Not my favorite this year, but a solidly good song. I have to be in the right mood to want to listen to it, but when I am? Fucking amazing. Also, considering he never left the piano (and didn’t light it on fire), he gave a pretty good performance.

7. Spain (8/10) This song is so much fun, and it’s definitely going to end the competition on a high note. I’m also really curious to see the full version to know more about the life-size dollhouse and animatronic thing they’ve got going

6. Switzerland (8/10) I loved the music video more than the live performance, but regardless I thought this song was also really fun and, idk, snazzy? Love dancing to it while I fold laundry.

5. Australia (9/10) Australia’s staging was everything! I had them in the upper middle rankings until the semi-final, but honestly that looked cool as all fuck!! Her song is weird, but in a way that I can dig. Plus seeing her soar around like Glinda in space with two fellow witches is one of the highlights of Eurovision this year

4. Russia (10/10) Sergey is back and just like in 2016, I absolutely love him and his performance. I’ll admit, the shower thing was a bit weird, but the song sounded great live! Plus, he had a leg-up for me by going with fairy tale imagery in the music video.

3. Norway (10/10) Initially, I only liked the joiking. The other two singers have grown on me, though. This song is fun, the staging is cool, the singers are great, and then it gets quiet and the joik part comes in, and it’s so fucking cool!! Love it, love it, love it!

2. Italy (10/10) My favorite for a long time, only bumped out because I made the fortuitous mistake of watching Iceland’s interviews. I love the song. I love the message. The thing that impressed me most, though, was that this song is about something that isn’t even remotely close to anything that’s happened in my life. I do not relate to it at all. But despite having no personal connection to the topic, I could feel the emotion in it. For a brief three minutes, I could feel something that isn’t my reality but is the reality of many other people. And an artist who can do that is powerful indeed.

1. Iceland (10/10) If you couldn’t tell from the everything about my blog, I have firmly joined the camp of Hatari stans. It may surprise you, but I didn’t really like this song the first time I heard it. Then, I found out the meaning behind it and gave it another chance. Lo and behold, I liked it! It rose in my rankings from lower-middle to the number one spot between listening to it multiple times and watching all the Hatari content I could get my hands on. I totally understand the music being too far for some people, but as a metalhead during the not-Eurovision parts of the year, Hatari isn’t too far of a leap for me. I love the song. I love the staging. I love the costumes. I love the message. I love the band. I love how they interact with each other and everyone else. I love the bits on Iceland Music News. I love their trolling and sarcasm in the interviews. I love the anti-capitalism. I love their websites (seriously, check them out. they put a lot of effort into them). I love the way they approach issues that are important to them. I love the fact that they aren’t afraid of the tough subjects. I especially love that they aren’t trying to walk the popularity line (you see it all the time - for example, queerbaiting, where a tv show wants to appeal to all sides of an issue, so they make characters nearly lgbtqia+ but then throw in enough straightness to please conservatives). Hatari picks their side in each issue instead of trying to cater to everyone, and I respect that a lot. My reactions and emotions aren’t usually prominent or even necessarily visible, but there’s a chance I might actually cheer if they win.

Finally, the honorable mentions, aka countries that didn’t make it to the final but that I would’ve loved to see:

Hungary (in my original top 10) - loved him last time, loved him this time. Beautiful song, beautiful voice, beautiful staging

Georgia - my hopes weren’t high but that doesn’t mean I didn’t love it. There’s nothing quite like a good dramatic song, and this was as dramatic as they come

Portugal/Poland - the two most people were really miffed about in the first semi-final; I think they’d’ve been alright in the semi-final, but both depend entirely on my mood. sometimes I love, sometimes I hate

Croatia - the song was ‘meh’, the singer was fantastic, and the staging was Eurovision in all the right ways

Armenia - one of my early favorites. could’ve used some other people on stage, but otherwise I thought she did wonderfully

Romania - what can I say that hasn’t been said already? she brought everything! that was an experience and an amazing one at that. so disappointed she didn’t make it

and of course,

Ukraine - catchy, badass, wacky, and wlw? sign me the fuck up. So sad to hear what happened to her. I know people are saying this is why politics should be kept out of music, but that’s ridiculous. The real issue is when the issue/message isn’t coming from the artist. It should always be up to the artist’s discretion what they do or do not promote. Propaganda and censorship go hand in hand, which is why I am so bothered by the blanket statements I hear thrown around about Ukraine’s fiasco this year

And that’s all! I think I’ll be happy with anyone scoring a 7 or higher for me winning on Saturday. I wouldn’t be upset about a 6 winning either, I suppose.

Anyways, off to bed so I can make my snacks tomorrow lmao!