#living Weapons AU

[lwde-encrusted-sideblog]

Crocea Mors: Back in my day we didn't get Dust infusions, or Mechashift! We were pure Steel, Grit, and Aura!

Myrtenaster: Oh?Jealous of us new Weapons? Maybe you should get with the times, Mister Antiquated~

Crocea Mors: I'm older than your damn Smithy, and I still hit as hard as I did back in the Great War! I could bend you like the tooth-pick you are!

Myrtenaster: Resorting to Violence so quickly? Must be natural for such an unsophisticated Hunk of scrap like you~

Crocea Mors: *pinning Myrtenaster to the table* I'll show you Unsophisticated, you Twig!

Jaune: CROCE- *Stopped*

Weiss: *Perverted Nosebleed* No ... Let it happen~

Jaune: ... Ew.

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

Myrtenaster: Oh Crocea~ Would you kindly carry me to Mistress Weiss~?

Crocea Mors: No. Your legs work. Carry yourself.

Long Memory: My Dear Mors, I ache deeply, for the energy I store runs my body ragged. Be so kind as to take me to Mr. Pine?

Crocea Mors: *Blushing* Yes Ma'am. I- I can do that!

Myrtenaster: *Angry Multi Action Dust Rapier Noises*

Oscar: *Disturbed Silence*

Jaune: *Confused Silence*

Weiss: *Disappointed Silence*

If I made a ship Canon, it'd be LM and CM. Old people (Weapons) Need love to!

[kristencsummerlin]

I always thought that a Soul Eater AU would be potentially fun with Hellsing characters...that being said, I'll never get around to writing that idea. 😅 BUT! Since you're a fan of both, I'm curious what your interpretation would be.

(I’m guessing you meant Hellsing but with living weapons sort of deal. If not, feel free to correct, I’ll than follow up with an answer the right question. My brain isn’t perfect.

After writing a shit ton of “on the spot OCs” to be character’s weapons and how the fuck they work. Then realizing how long the post was becoming. So Maybe a Part Two down the way. We’ll see.)

Alucard: Alucard LOVES demon weapons and finds them interesting as FUCK! He’s read everything he could on them. They are just the shit for him. His favorite method if he ran into one during a mission is to use the weapon to kill their own meister. That way he can learn about the weapon works while taking out his target. Though he’s reasonable enough to know that the weapon to a dickhead is also a dickhead. So that weapon will suffer in ways no one thought an living item could.

Alucard’s soul wavelength is complex but oddly able to match with any weapon. Most believe it has to do with the whole shapeshifting thing, but others aka Seras, believe it might be Alucard’s understanding of others. His worked with three Demon Weapons in his life. Tommy Boy, Pouty Casull, and Jackie.

Each one he has a different relationship and bound with. They’ve been a saving grace when it comes to loneliness but also in his personal growth as a human once again. (At least in mental and moral)

Integra: When she was a little girl she was excited as fuck about living weapons. Mostly because she grew up hearing about Excalibur and such. Though now she’s less interested. Too many things on her plate. So mostly looks into them when it comes to her agents and whether or not they want to work for her. She does worry about them in combat though. Because magical weapons are more capable in hurting vampires. Like her two favorite agents.

Integra’s soul isn’t that easy to match with. Then again she’s never really tried to match her soul wavelength to one. So it’s hard to say. From the few she’s met. She’s gotten along with. Pouty Casull is like a mother figure to her throughout the 10 years. And Walter was family to her. Even though he betrayed them.

Seras: Terrified. She’s terrified. Grew up her whole life never hearing about them. She struggles during twilight while laying in her coffin. Trying to comprehend how the FUCKIDY FUCK can someone transform into a weapon. Like shapeshifting into animals, or other people, or monsters makes sense to her. But transforming into a weapon is hard to understand.

Seras surprisingly as difficult as paddling through shit’s creek without a fucking paddle. Besides her being so confused of the weapon’s existence that she can’t properly sleep. Seras has a very tall and tough wall to crack through. Unless she truly feels comfortable with the weapon. She’s gonna be a pain in the ass to match with. Which annoys Alucard because he thinks she would do some good with a talking gun.

Walter: If you read the Integra part you already know. In this AU Walter is a demon weapon. The fact that he and his wires are always together. Always one. As if he can pull them out of no where is the main reason why. He’s classified as A Deadly Demon Weapon. So one of the more dangerous types in the lists. A part of Walter’s cockiness for the longest time was the fact that no one figured him out. Well Alucard did. Thanks to that third eye. But Alucard kept it under wraps for the young butler. Though he was always annoyed because Walter insisted on being his own meister. Never once letting Alucard try him out.

Hell his nickname “The Angel of Death” is because he managed to make himself into a Death Scythe. This knowledge was collected through the Magic Books in the Hellsing Sorcery Room.

Pip: My beautiful Pip. This boy had one Demon Weapon as a member of the Wild Geese. They weren’t his partner. But he knew one dammit. Which is enough in his books to know what he’s talking about when it comes to living weapons. Okay. He thinks they’re the kewlist fucking thing the Gods accidently created. His young pre-teenage boy fantasies seem more and more possible knowing they exist.

He’s ashamed that Seras can’t see the joy he and Alucard sees. He doesn’t know if he’s compatible enough to use a demon weapon. He fucking hopes he is! But can’t confirm.

When he became Seras’ familiar. He celebrated. Because in a way, he became her personal demon weapon. Sure he can’t turn into an actual weapon like he’s love. But he’s close.

[happypeachsludgeflower]

Modern day YouTube au where Xie Lian is infamous on the internet for his catastrophic cooking channel.

[unfinishedslurs]

The boy stops in his tracks. “I know you,” he says, tilting his head curiously. He’s not tall, but he’s regal nonetheless, dressed all in white. Something about him makes Leia’s hair stand on end, and although she hides it she feels a stirring in her own chest. I know you like I know my own soul, she thinks wildly, and wonders where it came from. Has she gone insane?

“That’s nice,” she says, and shoots him anyway.

He deflects it in a flash of light, a glowing blue laser sword appearing in his hand like magic. She’s only seen one of those before, and it’s Vader’s. If this boy is anything like Vader, she realizes, she’s in deep shit.

She’s smart enough to know when she’s outmatched. Leia makes the tactical decision to run for her life.

Later, as she’s getting the hell out of there, she wonders why he didn’t try to stop her.

She remembers being young and tugging on her mothers skirts, demanding to know why their guest was so sad. “Does he not like it here?” She’d asked, and then, trembling, because Kenobi always seemed saddest around her. “Is it…because of me?”

“Oh, Leia,” her mother sighed, lifting her into her arms. “It’s not that, I promise.”

“Then what is it?”

“Master Kenobi lost a child under his care, years ago.” Breha’s eyes grew deeper, darker. “It was not his fault, but he blames himself. You remind him of that child, that’s all.”

Leia had quieted at that, contemplative.

The next time she’d seen Master Kenobi, she had given him a hug. He didn’t seem to know what to do with that, so she resolved to give him more of them. “He’s lonely,” she’d told her mother. “No one should be lonely.”

Looking at Obi-Wan Kenobi now, the memory seemed so far away. He’d aged thirty years in the ten it had been.

He looks, Leia thinks with a small twinge of regret, very lonely.

“Leia,” he greets. “It’s been a long time.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Leia sees a glint of white.

Kenobi freezes in his tracks. “Luke?” He whispers, and through the distance Leia can hear it as if he’d been speaking directly into her ear.

Master Kenobi lost a child under his care, her mother whispers in her head. He blames himself.

In an instant, Leia understands everything.

Kenobi is still staring at the boy he’d lost so long ago when Vader cuts him down.

Later, as she’s pacing around on the Falcon to Han muttering darkly about Princesses and supernatural abilities, she rememberers the way the boy collapsed, as if all his strings had been cut. Vader was too occupied with him to even look at her as she shot at him desperately.

Luke. She hates him more than she hates herself.

“They know where you are,” he hisses frantically. “They’re coming for you. You have to run.”

“Wait!” Leia quickly pulls up their sonar. Nothing yet, but it would explain the distant queasiness she’d felt since they’d landed. She tended to trust her gut. “How do you know? How much time do we have?”

“Not important, and not enough,” he says. “I have to go, and so do you. You need to leave yesterday.”

“How do I know I can trust you? I don’t even know who you are.”

He pauses. “Call me Skywalker.”

“That’s not an answer, Skywalker.”

“Yes it is.”

She opens her mouth to argue, but there are faint voices on the other end, drawing nearer.

“Shit,” Skywalker mutters. “I have to go. I’ll be in contact, okay? Don’t ever tell me where you are, or where you’re heading. Vader and Palpatine aren’t shy about reading minds. Just leave as soon as you can, and figure out the rest.”

“But—“

It’s too late. The comm has disconnected.

She stares down at it, disbelieving. How would the Empire know they’re here? Why should she trust a stranger who somehow got her personal comm code?

Gut feeling or not, on paper this was a perfect location. Supplied, armored, and most importantly, extremely well hidden. There was no real reason to think it would possibly be found out.

It’s probably a trap. Almost definitely a trap.

Han sticks his head in the door, a sour look on his face. “Hey Princess, can you tell these idiots—“

She makes a decision then and there.

“We’re leaving.”

“What?”

“We’re evacuating, effective immediately.” She pushes past him, and he follows so close he’s nearly stepping on her heel.

“Why? I think it’s pretty cozy here. Actual sunlight doesn’t hurt, either.”

“Apparently too cozy.” She grabs the first person she sees, a pilot who stares at her with wide eyes. “Emergency evacuation. Spread the word to pack everything you can and leave, I’ll let you know where we’re headed when we’re in orbit.”

He salutes and scurries off.

“Woah, hey now.” Han snatches at her elbow until she turns around to face him. “What’s going on?”

“There’s a new informant. He told me the Empire knows we’re here. They’re coming for us.”

“And you trust this person because…”

“I don’t have a choice,” she snaps. Someone runs past them, holding three packs filled to the brim with rations. “It’s either he’s lying and we’re not in danger, or he’s telling the truth and we’re going to die if we don’t listen. It’s not exactly hard math.”

It could be a trap of course, but he hadn’t suggested any sort of direction or destination to follow, and Leia wasn’t inclined to share. Especially not after his tidbit about Vader and Palpatine reading minds.

He squints at her. “That’s not it.”

“What?”

“I don’t believe you,” he insists. He’s so infuriating. Leia doesn’t know why she hasn’t kicked him out yet.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes you do, and you’re either gonna tell me why, or find a different transport when we head out of here.”

“Who said I was riding on your hunk of junk?” She demands. She actually was planning on going with them, since the Falcon has more than enough room for all the supplies that can’t fit in the other ships and none of the trustworthiness of the other pilots, but Han doesn’t need to know that.

“Well?”

Damn him. Damn him for knowing how to read her. She doesn’t know when she let that happen.

“I feel it,” she admits, defeated. “Something tells me he’s trustworthy. We’ll wait and see if it’s right.”

He studies her. She holds her head high, but inside she’s jittery at the scrutiny. They don’t have time for this.

“Yeah, all right,” Han finally says.

“Really?”

“Yes, really.” He rolls his eyes, like she’s not acting absolutely insane by putting all her trust in a random man she’s never even met. “Now come on, Princess, weren’t you the one who said we had to hurry?”

What is it about this man that makes it impossible to tell whether she wants to punch him or drag him into the nearest supply closet? They don’t have time to find out.

“So there’s good news and bad news.”

“Bad news first,” she demands.

“They know there’s a mole.”

“Shit.” Of course they know, how could they not? She should have been more careful, less obvious about the correlation of their movements with the Empire’s plans. “The good news?”

“They’ve tasked me with hunting down this ‘pathetic rebel spy,’” Skywalker says, humor in his voice. “That should buy me some time.”

Leia can’t quite stop the snort she lets out. “Seriously?”

“Yep. You’re speaking to a professional mole-hunter, here.”

“Well congratulations on the promotion, Skywalker.”

“Thank you,” he says grandly. Then, quieter, “It won’t last, Princess. They’ll find out eventually.”

“I know. Just hang in there, it will be over soon.”

“Will it?” He asks, suddenly sounding very young. She realizes that she has no idea how old he is. She doesn’t know anything about the man who has saved them more times than she cared to admit, and the idea rattles her until they sign off.

Later, she looks up the name Skywalker in their archives. There are a few results, but only one sticks out.

Anakin Skywalker, Jedi Knight and hero of the Clone Wars. Killed at the hands of Darth Vader. There are gossip articles too, speculations on his relationship with the pregnant Senator Padmé Amidala, who died around the same time Skywalker did. The baby, it seems, died with her.

Unless he didn’t.

It’s ridiculous. It’s impossible. The idea is so ludicrous that Leia almost rejects it entirely.

But it makes sense. By the Maker, it makes sense.

The child of Anakin Skywalker, it seems, would be a powerful Force user indeed. Powerful enough for Kenobi to take the baby and run. Powerful enough for the Emperor to want him for his own gain. Powerful enough to send Vader after Kenobi and take the boy himself.

Maybe even powerful enough to shield his mind from Vader and Palpatine’s intrusions.

Powerful enough to hide the fact that he’s a spy.

Leia sinks into her chair, covering her face as she laughs.

Maybe Luke isn’t so bad after all.

“No, no, no,” she mutters, digging through the smoking wreckage of the TIE fighter. “Don’t be dead, please don’t be dead.”

“Princess…” Han lays a hand on her shoulder that she immediately shrugs off.

“No, he’s not dead. He’s not. Luke!”

A faint cough answers her, and she’s so relieved to hear it she could cry. Behind her, Han starts bellowing for a medic and, “Some damn help here, do you expect us to move all this ourselves?”

“Luke, it’s me,” she sobs. “It’s Leia. You’re at the Rebel Base. You’re safe.”

More coughing, and there’s a worrying rasp to his voice when he says, “You know…my name?”

“I figured it out.”

“Smart.” This time, the coughing is so bad Leia and Han both wince.

“Shit, kid,” Han says, moving another piece of rubble. “Don’t talk. We’re gonna get you out of here, all right?”

“Stand back,” Luke chokes out.

“What?”

“Stand back. Please.”

Han protests, but something in Leia knows they should listen to him. She drags him back, and motions everyone else to fall back with them. They do, albeit reluctantly.

“Clear,” she calls, hoping Luke can hear her.

The TIE explodes.

“Fuck!” Han goes back in, Leia on his heels with the terrifying feeling that she’d just allowed Luke to die, before they both stop in their tracks. Around them, the broken pieces of the TIE are floating.

And curled up in the middle is a man dressed all in white.

“Luke!” She pushes past Han to start dragging him out, and after another moment of staring around them, he helps her.

As soon as they get clear, the pieces fall to the ground with a clatter. Luke falls limp with them.

Han is still looking at the TIE. “Can you do that?” He asks quietly.

Leia pauses her examination of the unconscious man in front of her to glare at him. “Is that what you’re most concerned with right now? Really?”

“Excuse me for asking, Princess!”

“It’s white,” Luke grumbles, pulling at his hospital gown bitterly. “I hate wearing white.”

“Should I be offended?”

He rolls his eyes. “Don’t even. You look great and you know it. I just feel like I never left.”

“Well,” she says gingerly. “I guess it’s a good thing you got sick of it. If we went around in matching outfits all the time, people might think we’re twins.”

He snorts. “Yeah, right.”

[kosssich]

whoa! Big post! Scary! But still, please check it out! It has pictures :)

So before I continue my papa Adam staff and sisters exorcists I want to settle some of my headcanons on them + heaven in general (including some redesigns)

Birds of prey AU

How were exorcists created.

- Hell was growing. So was its power. Heaven began to feel threatened by Lilith and her kingdom.

- So they decided they needed protection. Seraphims wanted to create an invincible army to protect the citizens of Spheres. Army that would consist of utterly loyal soldiers.

- Exorcists were created in the likeness of birds of prey - beautiful, vicious and smart.

- Exorcist weren’t exactly a heavenborns. Technically, they were never born. They were created. But still, they’re not robots. Actually, all of them have personalities. Their own wishes, dreams and thoughts. But one thing they have - never doubt Heaven and orders. Never doubt Adam. They can question a lot of stuff in their lives, but never Heaven.

- They don’t have compassion, they don’t show mercy. They are supposed to be baby soldiers.

- Magic of Lilith can slip through Pearly Gates. And one of the newfound army was affected by that. One of the nestlings - so different from others - was created with a curse and a blessing - it was given the free will. A will to question, a will to show compassion, a will to seek knowledge and a will to have soul.

- Sera and Adam had their doubts about Vaggie, but decided to keep her, so the only thing left was to keep an eye on the broken child, preventing her from turning against Heaven.

Exorcists species.

For exorcists were created in the likeness of birds of prey, they vary from each other.

They have their own strengths and weaknesses. Their wings are different as well, they may look alike, but they function differently.

There’s only three exorcists who have different necklaces from the others - Vaggie, Lute and the killed one, so I decided to go with this number three.

I chose these three different orders of birds of prey:

1. Falconiformes - different species of falcons - really fast, agile, perfect eyesight.

2. Accipitriformes - hawks and eagles - strong, fast, vicious, perfect eyesight.

3. Strigiformes - owls - not as fast as other birds, but they can fly completely silent, perfect assassins, agile, perfect eyesight and perfect hearing as well.

No Cariamiformes, because they can’t fly, sorry birdies 😔

Vaggie is the only specie of Tytonidae, just to prove how different she is.

Other exorcists belonging to owls is species from Strigidae family.

- I have a headcanon, that Heaven is very technically advanced (we saw a glimpses of Heaven architecture and they had this cool looking microchips on the floor, LED masks, cool stuff). Whatever Vox is doing, Heaven is steps ahead. So I wanted to recreate this headcanon in exorcists redesign (don’t get me wrong, I like the original design, I do get that they supposed to look like demons with their horns, all grey and black, and like crusaders with this chain mail, yeah yeah yeah, but I like birds more).

- So, the exorcists army divided into three squads - hawks and eagles under Lute’s command, owls under Vaggie’s command and falcons under Dead exorcist command. And Adam is Harpy Eagle - the largest eagle and one of the kind.

- Exorcist are used for service in Heaven - babysitting, escorts to the other Spheres, guards, it’s not like Heaven needs guards, but my imagination ends here lol. It’s just, not like they need to train all 365 days a year.

- Winners know about exorcists, but not about the extermination. They know Hell and its threat, so Heaven never hides the information about its army.

- Exorcists can be killed and they know that. But they still act like they’re invincible, because in some way, they really are.

- An exorcist can be killed in two ways:

1. By other angels with angelic steel.

2. By sinners and hellborns with angelic steel.

3. But the difficulty - to kill an angel you need to rip off their halo. If the sinner or a hellborn touches a halo, they will just burn alive, killed by holy flames. (They tried to kill exorcists, didn’t work). Exorcists always fly. They never step on Hells ground. Always in the sky, deadly and unpredictable.

- They’re not stupid. They don’t leave their weapon in dead bodies. They don’t need sinners to have angelic steel. But still, steel can be gathered from arrows and bullets mostly - it’s a hard and dirty work to dig through all the bodies just to find a few bullets. This is exactly why Carmine’s angelic weapon is insanely expensive and difficult to get.

[miusato]

Ken, it's too early to give yourself a mid life crisis and worry too much 🙃

[sashimew-the-cat]

Teenage mutant COWBOY turtles?!?

(Click for better quality, solo versions under cut.)

[latenightwestern]

“We could be like Batman and Robin!”

but what if he actually took him up on that offer

bonus:

[howlsofbloodhounds]

You know, I was thinking about the ways that the Multiverse as whole might further contribute to Killer’s (specifically Stage 2) already preexisting dehumanization, demonization and objectification treatment he’s already received from Nightmare and Chara.

Being viewed and treated as something like a pet, or an asset, or a weapon. Something distinctly other from most people.

His SOUL is rather unique. The most likely people to have that shape and color is more than likely a variation of himself. He’s full of enough DT to be able to Reset, he seems able to understand the Humans in various timelines and universes in a way most can’t.

He can keep going beyond all reason and damage, his SOUL and codes are all deformed beyond recognition, he has knowledge he shouldn’t be able to know, physical strength he shouldn’t be able to have combined with his own experience, mindset, and skills that were all presumably required during..whatever made him what he is now, and he can be controlled simply through his SOUL.

And on that matter, what even *is* he? He’s not a monster. Not human. Not human AND monster. If he’s neither, then what is he then?

If Killer can’t give a satisfactory answer, people will either come to their own conclusions or seek to find out themselves.

The mad scientists types are definitely ones he’ll have to keep an eye out for, probably even rely on Nightmare’s fickle protection because no one would likely come looking for him should he disappear one day to be locked up in a lab for study. They’d be glad knowing he isn’t out there to be turned on them.

There might even be people out there determined to get rid of him and those like him, with strange SOULS or being soulless, because they’re seen as a threat or dangerous or just out of pure fear.

Imagine the sense of uncanny valley the rest of the Bad Sanses must experience by looking at him, let alone interacting with him. He is not a normal, stable functioning person and it shows. And yet he’s pretending to be.

Something is always..off about him. His eyes are too dead and empty to be something truly alive. His face never makes the right expression to match with his tone.

Any emotion that might show in his tone or face or body language is dismissed because..he can’t actually feel. He’s just pretending, to trick, to manipulate, surely.

And it makes it easy for most to either avoid him, completely ignore him as if he isn’t there, or be completely indifferent to any harm that comes to him or any opinions he has because..he isn’t like them. He doesn’t even seem alive or real most times..like he’s a shell to be filled.

Especially if he’s so easy to manipulate and control into doing absolutely horrid things through a simple SOUL keeping him complacent. Or at least that’s what the rest of the Multiverse has observed.

There’d be many chomping at the bit to claim and possess Nightmare’s living weapon as their own and use him for whatever goals and benefits they have in mind.

There’d probably be such casual dehumanizing, objectifying talk about or to him that most won’t even realize they’re doing it. But there are so many “justifications” people could use to treat him like that.

Maybe Nightmare uses this possibility to further keep ST2 loyal & with him. He offers protection, the rest of the Multiverse would love nothing more than to kill, experiment on, or use him.

[lwde-encrusted-sideblog]

Ruby: So ... Crocea Mors and Long Memory?

Jaune: I refuse to acknowledge it.

Oscar: ... I'm ... Happy? For them?

Ruby: You just wish they were less handsy in public?

O+J: YES.

Nora: ... They're so old, I bet Backshots sound like the Skeletons from Minecraft.

Jaune: I wish I never learned it doesn't.

Oscar: Why are they so loud?

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

Ruby: Darn it! Yang put the cookies up high again! And there's no way I could get up there without petals getting everywhere! I f only I had someone tall ...

Ruby: Hmmmm.

Ruby: Hey Cressy?

Crescent Rose: *Materializes Human Form* Yes Miss Ruby?

Ruby: Could you grab the Cookies off the top shelf?

CR: ... Aren't you not allowed to have cookies right now?

Ruby: I'll get you a new Scope.

CR: Of Course I can reach the Cookies for you Ruby! *Reaches for the Jar*

*KA-CHUNK*

CR: OHMOTHEROFPEARL!

Celica: Hey. Boss said no cookies.

Ruby: ... Why couldn't you have been Ember?

Celica: Ember could've been Bribed. I cannot.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

I’ve returned from my sketchbook quest , and here’s a drawing for dauntless-daffodil , who came up with the idea for the spear baby au.

THEM HAS COOKIE!!! ;A; <3 <3 <3 <3 SMOL WITH COOKIE!!!

AWWWWWW~

oh gods looking at that cute little innocent face i can just FEEEEEEL baby spear watching as chaggie and the hotel all stand around them hotly debating What Food Is Even Healthy For A Baby Spear Spawn Child To Be Eating

Charlie: "A cookie??"

Angel Dust: "They don' need cookies, ya useless gays, they need milk!"

Charlie: "We had cookies in the hotel??"

Vaggie: "Why would they need milk? They've got teeth already! Fangs, even!"

Angel Dust: "That ain't how nutrition an' shit WORKS toots!"

Niffty: (shakes jar full of money) "SWEAR JAR!"

Angel Dust: "Fuck. Shit." (hands over three dollars)

Charlie: "Since when are there cookies in the hotel that I don't know know about???"

Cherri: "If they've got fangs and like chewing stuff, maybe they need meat or something?"

Niffty: "OR BLOOD!!!"

Vaggie: "We are NOT-"

Angel Dust: "Ain't no baby under my watch gettin' fed steaks and BLOOD!"

Charlie: "Where did the cookie even COME from?!"

Husk: (coughs)

Charlie: "Husk! You gave them-?"

Husk: "....bar's always got snacks. And they were just. Staring at me."

Angel Dust: "Husky noooooo....!"

Vaggie: "How? I did a double sweep for undeclared cookies just two days ago- you KNOW what Charlie does to your bar if she goes snack hunting in the middle of night and actually finds something. She's like an adorable cookie gremlin."

Charlie: "Heheh!"

Husk: "Yeah well, she's not the only one allowed to like f- fffffffudging cookies. And your kid seems to take after her, so whatever."

Angel Dust: "Baby cat, that's no reason ta- oh for cryin' out loud, now what Vaggot?"

Vaggie: "...what? I didn't say anything."

Charlie: "Vaggieee, you're smiling~"

Vaggie: "Huh?"

Husk: "Like a dumb... dumb."

Niffty: "Beaming! Grinning! AS WIDE AS A SLIT THROAT-"

Cherri: "-fuck fuck fuck, shit shit, damn crap hell- here, take my money and don't fucking talk like THAT in front of the kid either, what the fuck."

Angel Dust: "Sickening."

Niffty: "Thanks!"

Angel Dust: "I meant Darth Vaggie getting all googey eye'd over her an' Charlie chip having a kid."

Charlie: "Oh so you think they're my kid too, huh?"

Angel Dust: "Are ya gonna let Vaggie raise 'em without ya?"

Charlie: "No~pe~!!!"

Angel Dust: "Then congrats on parenthood ta both of ya, it's already going to hell."

Vaggie: "Okay, uh-"

Husk: "You're gonna fffffeathering cry again."

Vaggie: "-no I'm not, I'm just glad the... my kid isn't still crying. Our kid. They, really are pretty happy with the cookie aren't they?"

Charlie: "Of course they are! It's CHOCOLATE CHIP!!"

Angel Dust: "It's not. Baby food."

Charlie: "It is if it's my baby, and they get milk to go with the cookie!"

Angel Dust: "V-gal, stop her! Use ya dang mom veto!!"

Vaggie: "Eh. Charlie was a hellborn kid and she grew up fine. I trust her."

Charlie: "AWww!!!"

Angel Dust: "Unbelievable."

Husk: "Whipped."

Vaggie: "Yeah? My kid didn't even have to say anything to get a cookie out of you, fluff boy."

Cherri: "Uh, guys.... gays...?"

Husk: "What."

Charlie & Vaggie: "What?"

Angel Dust: "Both and speaking, baby."

Cherri: "Where did..... the baby go...?"

Hotel crew: "....."

Place where baby was: (empty except for crumbs)

Spear Baby: (gone)

Vaggie: (wings bristling) "The-"

Charlie: "OUR!"

Vaggie: "Our-"

Demon Charlie: "-BABY!?"

Niffty: "MOTHER OF FUCK." (throws down swear jar) (tries throwing herself onto the broken shards but angel dust and husk grab her)

-meanwhile, elsewhere in the hotel-

Alastor: (walking quickly)

Spear Baby: (crawling after him)

Alastor: "....shoo."

Spear Baby: "Guh!"

Alastor: (nervous sweating) (walks FASTER)

[llondonfog]

Fae covet in the way that the shadows ache to caress the sunlight, in the way that the selkie yearns to return to the sea— in the way that Lilia's fingers fail him, curling on themselves before he is able to brush aside the silvery fringe obscuring the closed eyes of his weapon, resting fitfully on his cot in the aftermath of battle.

Privately, possessively, and poignantly.

Silver need not know the iron-laced thoughts of his handler as Lilia hovers over him with features carved from stone and tastes the acrid nature of his own traitorous mind on his tongue. He does not need to know that his handler is well steeped in the knowledge of how Silver has suffered at the cruel and callous hands of many over the course of agonizing centuries, and that his handler all the same finds himself grateful to the cursed circumstances that have brought them together.

Silver does not need to know the depths of the madness his general teeters on the edge of, an abyss called love that croons and calls and welcomes the devouring of his heart with baby soft teeth— he does not need to know that Lilia finds himself with a curious apathy at how willing he is to flout generations of hate, just to whisper the words my child, my son and watch the boy buckle under the sheer weight of their meaning.

Silver does not need to know, because Lilia cannot survive the inevitable rejection, the repulsion and horror that will undoubtedly spark into existence on the child's solemn face. How could he hope for any other response, when his very desires make clear that he wishes to breathe new life into a role that was so violently stripped and crushed from the boy in the most ruthless of ways? How could he have any right to know the word father, to dream of it as if it could hold more precious weight than the title of general, when it was his very kind who destroyed the boy's family and cursed them all into objectified servitude?

(An even worse confession; he has not dared to discover what has become of the boy's true father, if the jewel of his soul still persists in another's sword, or if it has shattered long ago, with neither wife nor son at his side.)

He has no right, no claim but that mark of which gleams upon the back of the boy's neck, a mark that exists only in vicious thanks to the curse binding Silver to this world. He has no right, and yet still he stands vigilant over the boy until he wakes from his healing stasis— guarding the sword thrust so deeply into his own frozen chest that Lilia no longer knows how to breathe properly without it.

[blood-injections]

Band au be upon ye

Give it up for THE CONVENTIONAL WEAPONS

Kobra Kid- Vocals!!!!!

Party Poison- Bass

Jet Star- Guitar

Fun Ghoul- Drums

[antigonenikk]

its literally them your honor