#liver and toads

[temeraire]

that factoid thats like "50% of men believe they could intrinsically just land a plane with no training" but thats me with surgical stitches. i know i could stitch up someones gaping flesh wound with no training i believe it would just come to me in the moment. spiritually.

[fandomlit]

academic affair, prologue (remus lupin x reader)

series summary being a professor at hogwarts always brought you an interesting day, but your past starts to reappear in odd ways: in the son of one of your former best friends, a dog you can't stop seeing, and an old crush getting the cursed job the school. it all looks to mean one thing--it's time to stop running from the things you tried hard not to think about.

warning none

a/n if you all are interested in seeing this continue as a series please please let me know!! im loving this concept :)

gif cred belongs to @rxmuz

harry, hermione, and ron were gathered in the empty classroom you were to begin a lesson in after your snack break--a habit they had grown into shortly after meeting you their first year. your feet were propped up on your desk as you ate your salad, watching harry pace and complain about his third-year classes already, despite only being a few days into the term.

"i think they're all riveting so far," hermione spoke bossily, shaking her head at the complaining boys.

"how would you know? you weren't even in potions today!" ron accused. you winked at hermione as her face flushed slightly. you knew her little time turner secret--it was a fate few students endured, but you had been one of the professors to recommend her for the honor when dumbledore inquired.

"i was there! we learned about the benefits of frog liver in healing potions!"

ron and harry looked to each other. "I actually don't know if that's true or not."

you let out a laugh before speaking, "it's just the second week, harry. it'll get better! patience is key."

harry huffed as he flopped into one of the chairs in the front row. "why can't i just take your class already?"

you shrugged. "i'll let you in." his head piped up. "if you can read my leaves from my old cup of tea for me." he sunk back down into the chair as you tutted, "have to know divination to take theory, harry. sad, but true."

he sulked for another moment before admitting, "i do like the new defense against the dark arts professor. lupin seems good."

the other two agreed and began to chat about it as you froze mid-chew.

when you heard remus lupin was taking the dark arts position, a rush of old, buried emotions came flooding back to you. your stupid schoolgirl crush seemed to take up space in your heart once again before you had even seen him again, and you cursed yourself for letting it happen. but remus was one of your best friends in your hogwarts days, and you had always wondered what could have been if you had ever had the guts to pursue something with him..

" .. professor? y/n!"

you snapped back into the moment, swallowing your bite as you gave your attention back to the trio. "sorry. got lost in thought. what's up?"

"did you know lupin when you went to hogwarts?"

your heart jumped unwillingly. "oh--yeah, of course. i don't want to air out his business for him if he hasn't said.. but he was very close to your parents, as well, harry." harry blinked in surprise. "but again, not my place to say without knowing if he wants all that to be said." the trio nodded.

"has he always had those scars?" ron asked, waving to his face. 

you smiled a little. "yes. not those, specifically, but he always had a knack for getting new wounds back in our hogwarts days. never without a scratch."

"sounds like-"

"professor l/n?" all four of you looked to the open door of the classroom to see professor lupin himself standing with one hand on the frame, as if he had been summoned when you began to talk about him. your heart skipped while he swept his gaze to the students, lifting a hand in greeting, "hello harry, miss granger, mister weasley." they greeted him in return before he looked back to you as you swung your feet to the ground a little clumsily. you prayed your face wasn't as hot as it felt. "have you all seen a toad hopping about? had a student say he lost sight of him after charms this morning."

"oh, neville?" you laughed softly and the other three chuckled. lupin nodded. "no, we haven't seen trevor. we'll be sure to inform the owner if he's spotted, however."

lupin gave you a nod. "thanks." he paused for a moment in the doorway, looking like he was going to say something more, before patting the doorframe and moving away. after a moment you cleared your throat, swinging your feet back onto your desk and shuffling your fork through your salad.

"so, what were we saying before all that? something about divination?"

"you totally fancy professor lupin!" hermione scoffed. it was the first time you had seen her gaze properly off of her homework all afternoon. and she looked delighted about it, too.

now you knew your face was bright red. "you're loony, hermione. i'm thirty-five years old--i don't 'fancy' people."

"oh, what do you call it then?" harry grinned. "a crush? taking a liking too? or do we skip straight to pining at your age?" he dodged when your shoe came flying at him, but he was laughing the whole way. ron was chortling just as loudly.

"you three have lost it!" you declared, standing unevenly from your desk. "remus and i were good friends back in the day--nothing more, nothing less."

"remus, is it?" harry gawked, making the other two laugh and tease again while you stripped off your other shoe. the warning bell rang just then.

"you've been saved, you have!" you called as they scrambled to get their things together. "teasing a professor like a student--rotten children!"

"and yet, you keep inviting us around!"

[the-gnomish-bastard]

Note: do not mix frog kidneys, toad livers, rat lungs, powdered unicorn hooves, a naga spleen, and 7 gallons of liquid nitrogen. It doesn’t make a potion. It doesn’t even make a poison. It’s just vomit juice. All it ever does is make things vomit. I’m a lich, I didn’t know I could still do that. What the fuck.

[ihavedonenothingright]

You said you can meow better than me? WRONG. Observe: meeeoooowwwww :3

Well, Mr. The Frog, I'm impressed. I'll admit I didn't expect you to walk into my trap with quite so much idiotic enthusiasm. I thought perhaps I could get you after a few heated comment exchanges—bait you out, so to speak—but luckily for me, you've proven outright gullible. Is this the infamous Croaker? It seems he isn't so intimidating as he'd like others to believe.

You see, you pigeon-livered deformed toad, I have no need to prove anything. I am simply a humble denizen of the internet. Whether or not I could best you in this... it never mattered to me. No, I had my sights set on one thing.

"I am far too Sigma to be one of those Furries." Do you remember when you wrote those words, Mr. Croaker? Remember posting them to your blog? Perhaps it seems like a lifetime ago now that the noose of reality is tightening 'round your neck. It was, admittedly, no more than a pitiful attempt at denial. If left alone, no doubt you would have provided me with ample proof all by yourself, but I wasn't feeling patient. So I ask you now:

Have you not just meowed, with deliberate effort and emphasis, in full view of every blog on this site? For no better justification than a petty dare? 

Tell me again how you aren't a furry, you abortive, unwashed sock. I'll be waiting.

Meow.

[dgdraws]

OC tober Day 3: Old OC

For today I rustled up some very old crackfic I cowrote with a friend in middle school. Pa Grape from VeggieTales is there but the rest of the cast is, well, certainly very original.

Enjoy this 315 words of absolute nonsense :)

A Short Pirate Story

Once upon a time there was a tiny little pirate. He was about one foot tall. His name was Lil' Jon Silver. Jon loved a fairy. Her name was Liver. She had big blue eyes and a small liver. But Liver didn't love Silver, she loved a toad.

One day the toad got stepped on by Cap'n Crunch A.K.A. Paa Grape. Paa Grape's cousin's uncle's nephew's great grandma twice removed was Pokkadot. Pokkadot loved sheep, whose neighbor was the dead toad. The Party at the swamp was only for pirates and relatives but everyone came because they were all related.

"This will be sure to get the fairies staircase," the dead toad cried.

"Stop the music, he can't speak, he's dead!" yelled Paa Grape.

"No he's not," argued the Big Bad Wolf.

"I'll kill ye with my bare hands!" screamed Paa.

"You don't have any hands to bare!" the wolf argued.

"Then I'll kick you!" Paa yelled.

"You don't have feet!" argued the wolf.

"Then how did you step on me?" the toad questioned questionally.

Suddenly a doctor appeared out of nowhere! "No, he was here the whole time, he's my third cousin twice removed on my mothers side," the wolf argued.

"You argue a lot, you need anger management classes," the toad counseled.

"Okay," the wolf argued, "I'll go."

"Look At ThEsE wArTs! ThEy NeEd To Be IcEd OfF iMmEdlaTeLy!" the doctor cried in alternate caps. He prepared to whisk off the toad to Hospital Land, a magical land of syringes and bed pans, where the smell of ammonia lingers forever.

~~~~*in hospital land*~~~~

"Now all I nEeD IS a GrApE."

"You wouldn't dare... OH-NO!"

Dun-dun-dun!

What will happen next? Tune in next time to find out! Will Pa Grape be wine?-or Will he be normal? Will they get drunk off him?-or Will he be normal? The answers to these burning questions and more!

[inky-duchess]

To the haters:

What is wrong with you, you lily-livered loggerheaded jarring rougish duck-fucking fool-born hell-hated toad-eating imperative shit-smelling puny boil-brained droopy-eyed onion miscreant maggot-pie tickle-brained arselings who have no use to this planet other than to feed the plants once you get buried in the ground. I hope that if you try to send hate again that your finger misses the anon button and then everyone can see who the coward hiding behind anon is.

[newtsfrogstoads]

your username compels me to ask: favorite species each of frog, newt, and toad? any non-frog/newt/toad amphibians you particularly like?

my favorite frog is the golden mantella but honestly all the tiny brightly colored poisonous ones are delightful

These are such hard questions for me. There's so many species that deserve their own essays. I think I'll break this ask into several posts and answer each question over time because I could ramble about amphibians forever.

Let's start with frogs. My favorite frog would have to be Diane's bare-hearted glass frog AKA the Kermit frog:

I really really adore glass frogs. They're small, cute, and are fucking rad scientifically speaking. There's very few translucent land creatures because, unlike in the deep blue where light reflects very differently than in the air, it's hard to hide yourself and your innards (especially those bright red blood cells). But these little frogs with their semi-see-through tummies and limbs disappear to predators by making themselves look transparent:

These frogs are nocturnal too, so you would think they'd be more visible when they're asleep during the day when the light is brighter. Nope. They become more translucent by MOVING NEARLY 90% OF THEIR RED BLOOD CELLS INTO THEIR LIVER:

Glass frogs are so good at hiding that even their blood can hide. This if insane because it doesn't even cause blood clots. Scientists are trying to figure out how these frogs do it to see if they could solve clotting issues in humans with this same mechanism.

Of course, Diane's bare-hearted glass frog became my favorite of the glass frogs due to its resemblance to my childhood icon:

This unique frog species was discovered in Talamanca Mountains of Costa Rica around April 2015 by researchers Brian Kubicki, Stanley Salazar, and Robert Puschendorf from the Costa Rican Amphibian Research Center. It was named after Kubicki's mom :)

It's discovery also caused such a huge stir on the internet that even Disney published a QA with Kermit talking about it. I think they scrubbed the video, but I did find some quotes from articles that I think are gold:

"The reason this new frog looks so much like me is that her mother and my mother are sisters. It’s a family resemblance.”

“Yes, we’re cousins. In fact, I’m related to every single frog in the world, and I’m close to most toads, too."

"Googly eyes run in our family."

"Shorten your name if you want to make it in show business. Maybe something catchy like Diane Glass or Kermina Kardashian."

"Being green is easy compared to being transparent. I thought that I blended in with so many other ordinary things. And that people tended to pass me over 'cause I wasn't standing out like flashy sparkles in the water or stars in the sky. But when you're transparent, folks really look right through you. It's almost like you're invisible… which might come in handy around Miss Piggy... I take it back. I want to be transparent."

[the-kirbe-anon]

If you get this, answer w/ three random facts about yourself and send it to the last seven blogs in your notifs. anon or not, doesn’t matter, let’s get to know the person behind the blog!

1. I like fried chicken liver

2. I tried to keep a baby starling I saved from a cat (failed)

3. I fed a lightning bug to a toad when I was six and it glowed in the toad's belly (not good for toad I think)

[fantasyconcrete]

"What the hell - hey, who took all my toad livers?!"

[iheartgod175]

Some MORE Thoughts…

—I’ve actually had the hankering to do some art again after like a month, haha ^^ Taking a month hiatus from creating to refill my creative well has done me some wonders, because now I feel a lot more inspired and ready to write and draw!

—An idea that I’ve had for the last couple of days was including Dragon Tales into SRBA. My childhood lives! I love how at this point, the remastered SRBA is kinda becoming the MCU, lol—after all, I kinda have it set that the Super Readers would meet WordGirl and the characters from Santiago of the Seas, so why the heck not XD That means I’m gonna have to go back and fix the timeline again to include this.

—And in case anybody was wondering what other shows would be featured in this AU, it’s currently Santiago of the Seas, WordGirl, Dragon Tales and (possibly) Arthur. The later I put in brackets because I’m not sure how it’d work yet ^^;

—I am still working on that KonoSuba/Star Fox story, but most of it is just brainstorming fifty million ideas. I do have some cool ideas for a potential sequel starring either Slippy or Beltino. Why? Well, I wanted to challenge myself writing a character that I eventually grew to appreciate—as I wrote in the original post, Fox and Falco would fit in with KonoSuba perfectly, but it’s too obvious a choice. Putting in a happy-go-lucky mechanic with no sense of flying in a world like KonoSuba’s would be hilarious—or a mild-mannered scientist like Beltino. All I know is that either one of them would end up in Kazuma’s party, and Slippy and Aqua would butt heads because of her hatred for toads, LOL.

—2024 is not being kind to Love Livers thus far. I still think the whole “Love Live disappears but Revue Starlight is eternal” meme compilation is hilarious, though. Power creep and insane rates will not stop this game, I swear. Oh, and speaking of Revue Starlight, it’s been loving me again?? I’ve had better luck getting the 5-stars recently than I have had getting the birthday cards the last few years?! Which is good news for me, because my Wind, Moon and Space teams SUCK and I needed some better cards in order to prep for both Star Arena matches and future Trophy Roads.

—Kinda hopped back onto my Multo/Zeeter mood again, so I’ve been working on Love Language in between working on that StarFox/KonoSuba idea. I’m trying out a new writing routine, and hopefully, I can finish the first chapter sometime this year!

—Speaking of them, I was rereading my notes for that Revue Starlight inspired AU and I need to write out a post yelling about that. I literally have like six to seven pages of notes!

—Started Atelier Resleriana and it’s kinda cute! I’ve heard of the Atelier series, but never got a chance to play any of the games. But I’m liking it so far.

—Racing to get to the next few chapters of HI3rd. I’m kinda stoked for Part 2!

—And since I also got hit with the mood for it a few days ago, I’m going to be doing some in-depth notes about the Cerulean Avenger story, namely regarding the characters and what all to expect. The reason for that? It relates to the art I’m going to drop after making this post! 😁

[argumate]

you have some knowledge of classic hong kong kung fu movies, right? like bruce lee, maybe john woo and jackie chan, I'm not really sure who the big stars are. do you have any you particularly recommend? I'd like to watch a few

I'm not actually an expert on this (or anything) and my experience is somewhat scattershot, which makes me wonder what I've even watched, hmm.

Bruce Lee, I've only actually watched The Big Boss in full as a movie, but seen enough clips of the others that they feel familiar; honestly despite the way he towers over the field I think he's more valuable as a conceptual inspiration than a maker of actual movies.

Jackie Chan is obviously incredible; his early movies might be a little cheap and silly but they're far more advanced than anything Bruce Lee had the chance to do and he made so damn many of them! he's not just a kung fu guy but a master of physical comedy, a modern Buster Keaton, and yes obviously the stunts wow.

John Woo fills in the "charismatic gun-fu" and "fluttering doves" side of Hong Kong movies and those are surely worth dipping into at least a little, especially if you appreciate Chow Yun-fat.

Stephen Chow is a personal favourite; a very funny comedian but his comedies include Shaolin Soccer and Kung Fu, as well as the two part Journey to the West parody (Chinese Odyssey) which is fantastic.

Leslie Cheung wasn't a kung fu star but A Chinese Ghost Story by Tsui Hark is still the best version of that movie ever made.

oh and while we're on kung fu comedy, Eagle Shooting Heroes from 1993 is the funniest damn thing and has the best scene of toad-style kung fu put to film; allegedly made in a rush while Ashes of Time ran over budget, it borrows most of the cast and has both Tony's Leung and Jackie Cheung as well Brigitte Lin and Joey Wong and Maggie Cheung.

hmm actually these are all kung fu comedy recs but kung fu lends itself naturally to comedy (and the best comedies have a solid emotional core); Tin Ha Mou Seung (Chinese Odyssey 2002, no relation to the other film with a similar name) is a hilarious spoof of Wong Kar-wai films and classic Shaw Brothers movies like The Kingdom and the Beauty and The Butterfly Lovers, it's great!

oh turns out there is another film titled Chinese Odyssey from 2022, which was Ng Man-tat's last movie before he died of liver cancer; what a pity, that guy was great with Stephen Chow and made more than fifty movies in his career.

okay I'm rambling here and there's tons of other kung fu movie possibilities I haven't covered, like 36th Chamber of Shaolin or the first Ip Man movie, Donnie Yen movies in general, oh and anything with Sammo Hung in it, just go watch some movies already!

[girlfox]

which colors do you associate with Ahri? and why?

thank you for asking this, nonnie!

the colors i most associate with ahri are soft pink, deep red, earthen green, and pale gold. they're prevalent colors in almost all of my graphics━━━to me, these are the hues that embody her personality and experiences the most.

𝐒𝐎𝐅𝐓   𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐊   is   the   essence   of   love   and   romance;   it   is   the   tragic   lover   within   her,   destined   to   yearn   for   affection   and   understanding   and   a   life   of   blooming   flowers,   all   softness   and   sweetness.   pink   is   the   gentle   &   feminine   side   of   ahri.   it   is   the   color   her   cheeks   flush   when   she   is   shy   or   flustered,   and   the   shade   her   steely   eyes   turn   when   spinning   a   compulsion   spell.   it   is   the   color   of   the   flowers   on   a   warm   spring   morning   outside   of   her   cottage,   and   the   relinquishing   of   bitterness   to   better   days.   

𝐃𝐄𝐄𝐏   𝐑𝐄𝐃   is   the   most   clear   cut   of   all:   it   is   blood   and   gore   and   viscera,   the   substance   that   runs   through   your   veins   and   the   blushing   shade   of   your   liver   and   heart   as   it's   sundered   from   your   body   by   her   claws.   red   is   passion   and   fervor,   the   frenzied   rapture   that   overcomes   her   in   the   fleeting   moments   following   a   feast.   red   is   the   color   of   her   lips   as   she   pats   rogue   onto   them,   or   as   she   swipes   ichor   across   her   face.   

𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐍   𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐍   is   ahri   through   and   through.   the   woods   she   inhabits,   the   thick   forests   that   the   fox   calls   home.   it   is   the   moss,   the   creeping   vines,   the   grass   that   shudders   in   the   breeze,   the   trees   whose   leaves   flutter   away.   green   is   tranquility   and   home;   it   is   a   mother's   embrace,   enveloping   her   in   a   feeling   of   comfort   and   familiarity.   green   is   the   nymph   dancing   amongst   the   roots   and   planting   a   kiss   atop   a   toads   head.   it   is   nature   and   it   is   she.

𝐏𝐀𝐋𝐄   𝐆𝐎𝐋𝐃   is   her   unabashed   obsession   for   the   finer   things   in   life;   it   is   her   ever   -   growing   collection   of   jeweled   trinkets,   stolen   from   the   corpses   of   her   prey;   it   is   the   array   of   glimmering   rings   and   anklets   and   bracelets   the   fox   adorns   on   the   days   she   feels   most   luxurious.   gold   represents   her   greed,   her   hedonism,   her   pursuit   for   wholly   unnecessary   but   lavish   pleasures.   

[kirstielol]

Rhabdophis keelback snakes are both venomous and poisonous – their poisons are stored in nuchal glands and are acquired by sequestering toxins from poisonous toads the snakes eat. Similarly, certain garter snakes from Oregon can retain toxins in their livers from ingesting rough-skinned newts.

WELP i didn't know that, thank you for sharing

[quidditch32]

Today, I read how natural history has been made an unwilling participant in shoring up the primacy of heterosexual reproduction.

I learned that reproduction beyond the vertical and heterosexual takes place regularly : liver grows and heals, intestinal lining is shed, cells die and we grow new skin.

Our understanding of species perpetuation and animal biology ( have only recently been unseated by epistemes borrowed from vegetal and fungal biologies) reinforce and strengthen ideas about: sex as the logical, teleological endpoint of courtship and romance; a deterministic mechanism hardwired into our biology for mating and multiplying.

I think so many people still believe that, like we have a genuine responsibility to procreate and perpetuate the species; as if it is something we shall be remembered by throughout the vast geological time shifts and scale.

For the longest time, nobody seems to have imagined otherwise. Even today, when most of these foundational beliefs have been picked apart, we continue to believe that love, romance and intimacy are pure human inventions, as if we started it and we never stopped.

Even queer love is weaponized to cement the understanding that only human beings can love, across time and space and testify to that sweet lie that Interstellar likes to tell you: love is what survives time and space, even bends laws of physics and makes us really exceptional.

I am not sure of that anymore.

But I am woefully ignorant and confused about a few things. I do not actually think if love is or if it is at all, then if it is the practice of humans alone. I do not think love can set us apart from other species in the world. Having said that, I would really like to know :

1. What is love?

2. Why do we kiss?

3. Is love neither platonic nor romantic?

4. Love does not have obvious reproductive benefits, so why does our biology ensure channels and circuits for its impression?

5. If it is mere biology does it make it any less real?

6. Were we not meant to love at all?

7. Do trees, birds, crocodiles, ants, aphids, toads love as well?

8. How did we learn to love? How did we separate it from hunger, anger, fear, terror, exhaustion, curiosity and the rest?

Please help me understand.

[goldensunset]

Essay about pufferfish

Tetraodontidae is a family of primarily marine and estuarine fish of the order Tetraodontiformes. The family includes many familiar species variously called pufferfish, puffers, balloonfish, blowfish, blowers, blowies, bubblefish, globefish, swellfish, toadfish, toadies, toadle, honey toads, sugar toads, and sea squab.[1] They are morphologically similar to the closely related porcupinefish, which have large external spines (unlike the thinner, hidden spines of the Tetraodontidae, which are only visible when the fish have puffed up). The scientific name refers to the four large teeth, fused into an upper and lower plate, which are used for crushing the hard shells of crustaceans and mollusks, their natural prey.

The majority of pufferfish species are toxic and some are among the most poisonous vertebrates in the world. In certain species, the internal organs, such as the liver, and sometimes the skin, contain tetrodotoxin, and are highly toxic to most animals when eaten; nevertheless, the meat of some species is considered a delicacy in Japan (as 河豚, pronounced fugu), Korea (as 복, bok, or 복어, bogeo), and China (as 河豚, hétún) when prepared by specially trained chefs who know which part is safe to eat and in what quantity. Other pufferfish species with nontoxic flesh, such as the northern puffer, Sphoeroides maculatus, of Chesapeake Bay,[2] are considered a delicacy elsewhere.[3]

The species Torquigener albomaculosus was described by David Attenborough as "the greatest artist of the animal kingdom" due to the males' unique habit of wooing females by creating nests in sand composed of complex geometric designs.[4]

[gellavonhamster]

Greek fire ingredients according to the author of De Ortu Waluuanii, a Medieval Latin romance about Gawain's childhood and youth:

poisonous toads that have been fed "on the meat of doves and upon honey" for three months and then, after not eating for two-three days, on the milk of "some creature prolific of milk and of offspring"

"chelindri, water snakes that have been enclosed in a tomb for ten days in order to feed on a human cadaver"

"a poisonous asp, one bearing three death-bringing heads"

"the gallbladder and testicles of a shape-shifting wolf, one engendered by air and by vapor"

a "ligure stone found at the edge of the earth" that "is believed to originate from the hardened urine of a lynx"

"the head, heart and liver of a crow [...] that has measured out nine generations"

sulphur, pitch, resin, oil, tartar, and tar (this is where it starts to look normal. It's a deception)

blood of a dragon

blood of a red-haired man who's been well-fed and made drunk with wine for a month