the-gnomish-bastard

[the-gnomish-bastard]

hey man wtf, I had some chocolate stashed away below my bed, and now most of it is gone!!!

Did you send your damn goons to steal my chocolate? NOT COOL

No comment

[the-gnomish-bastard]

if youre cool does it mean youre not hot?

I have never claimed to be hot. I am god’s last mistake, and his final failure.

[the-gnomish-bastard]

No abhorring?

It appears that in my absence, many fools proclaiming themselves masters of the arcane winds have tried to lay claim to my mantle of power and terror. All have been silenced. So too shall be the fate of all who dare to steal what is mine, and those who would dare to dream it.

[the-gnomish-bastard]

Go go gadget: Mega Super Evisceration Ray!

It appears that in my absence, many fools proclaiming themselves masters of the arcane winds have tried to lay claim to my mantle of power and terror. All have been silenced. So too shall be the fate of all who dare to steal what is mine, and those who would dare to dream it.

[the-gnomish-bastard]

No. Not for sale.

It appears that in my absence, many fools proclaiming themselves masters of the arcane winds have tried to lay claim to my mantle of power and terror. All have been silenced. So too shall be the fate of all who dare to steal what is mine, and those who would dare to dream it.

[the-gnomish-bastard]

Possibly… do they have shovels?

It appears that in my absence, many fools proclaiming themselves masters of the arcane winds have tried to lay claim to my mantle of power and terror. All have been silenced. So too shall be the fate of all who dare to steal what is mine, and those who would dare to dream it.

[the-gnomish-bastard]

I want salami

It appears that in my absence, many fools proclaiming themselves masters of the arcane winds have tried to lay claim to my mantle of power and terror. All have been silenced. So too shall be the fate of all who dare to steal what is mine, and those who would dare to dream it.

[the-gnomish-bastard]

You beautiful, beautiful bastard

Thanks for being so cool♥️

I’m always cold

[the-gnomish-bastard]

For now, the call of the void grows ever stronger in my absence.

It appears that in my absence, many fools proclaiming themselves masters of the arcane winds have tried to lay claim to my mantle of power and terror. All have been silenced. So too shall be the fate of all who dare to steal what is mine, and those who would dare to dream it.

[the-gnomish-bastard]

No grilled cheese? Unbalanced and poor design.

I bestow upon thee:

The Staff of Killing

+87654% magic damage against Gnomes

Guaranteed crits against Gnomes

On Hit: inflicts Decay for 8 seconds if the enemy is a Gnome

On Random Crit: if enemy is a Gnome, teleport them six feet downwards regardless of clearance

Cannot make Grilled Cheese

im gonna have to give this to @the-gnomish-bastard

[the-gnomish-bastard]

It appears that in my absence, many fools proclaiming themselves masters of the arcane winds have tried to lay claim to my mantle of power and terror. All have been silenced. So too shall be the fate of all who dare to steal what is mine, and those who would dare to dream it.

[the-gnomish-bastard]

I was calling the shots. I’m not proud of what I did, but if I had to, I’d do it again.

my great pee paw twigglesnort god rest his beautiful soul he died fighgting in the great vietgnome war stepping on a deliviish Sugarstick Trap that just destroyed his tiny body may his legacy live on 🙏

[the-gnomish-bastard]

*Dark Souls death screen*

@blockperson

*knocks on door*

*door knocks on you*

[the-gnomish-bastard]

*The Tower shifts and contorts, becoming a pit*

@blockperson

*knocks on door*

*door knocks on you*

[the-gnomish-bastard]

*door immobilized, blockperson wins!*

+230 XP

@blockperson

*knocks on door*

*door knocks on you*

[the-gnomish-bastard]

*Item found: wooden wedge*

*Door charges up attack: Boot hitting you on the way out*

@blockperson

*knocks on door*

*door knocks on you*

[the-gnomish-bastard]

We’re exorcising our Gnomish right to bear weird and wacky arcane arms.

Those gnomes are available for sale HERE