#livejournal is my only hope now

[blueishyellowish]

you know your down bad when it comes to looking for fanfic on livejournal

[fili-gremlin]

And even then I'm not going anywhere until the very last second, possibly only by being dragged off kicking and screaming. I've been on here too long to go quietly. Or with any dignity.

every fucking year we get another "no seriously tumblr is dying for REAL this time" scare and at this point i'm just taking an exhausted drag of a cigarette and staring out the window knowing damn well you are not even going to get me looking at another social media platform until either every last one of my beloved mutuals jumps ship to the same alternative or i log on here one day and there are actually red flashing lights all over my dash and an alarm blaring and a robotic voice telling me This Site Will Self Destruct In 24 Hours

[windvexer]

kind chicken, if i may ask for your advice, i'm at a moral dilemma. i'm so utterly entranced by the idea of the figure of the horned one within tradcraft, but also having the cultural knowledge and hindsight of the great variety of entities that tend to get lumped into this entity feels ... wrong? inconsiderate? appropriative? i'm not sure, i can't in my mind look at an entity with purported links and faces within so much - Woden, Gwyn ap Nudd, the Devil, Lucifer, Dionysus, Pan, Silvanus, Saturn, Cernunnos, etc - and just accept the careless mashing together of different cultures and put aside all the differences and details and contexts. it just feels to me like its disrespectful to all these cultures and mythologies to just "create" an ambiguous figure from all these other figures derive, and yet it also /feels/ right to me. it's kept me in stasis for so long in my craft because i want so badly to point at a name and say "THIS is the horned one" but they're never quite right, never quite perfectly encapsulating of what feels like the scope of this entity. i know this is rambling, but this has genuinely bothered me for years and i just don't know how to get over this hill to be able to fully connect with the horned one. the logical part of my brain is just locked in a tug-of-war with my heart and intuition because theres just too much that we know to be able to boil something down to a single archetype, because thats not how culture works. and how can i hope to work with something if i don't even know their nature? i can never know if i'm just making it up and being insensitive. if you or anyone else could help me out in this line of thinking, i feel like i could finally take another step forward.

I think you have got a nice logic puzzle here, my bud. You have made serious strides into solving this problem for yourself:

You know your guy has to be in there. You just haven't found him yet.

Witchfathers are not exclusively gods of lore. It's like going through the top 15 Hollywood A-list actors and saying you can't cast someone in a roll. There are still five million actors in Hollywood alone.

Witchfathers may be ancestors, or faeries, or wights. Or something that is all three. Your Witchfather may be the Oak whose roots you woke up in the last time you left this earth, before you were reborn. He may be a spirit of the land, who is only recorded in the journals of mystics who have lived where you lived, and five Livejournal posts published in 2005 edited for anonymity.

There is not now, and I do not believe there will ever be, a comprehensive list of all entities that can be a "Witchfather" in Traditional Witchcraft.

So I must ask you:

What would happen if you were never able to discover the lore name of your Witchfather? What if there is no lore name, because he's unrecorded?

And I must also ask:

Why do you need a name?

If we imagine all these named entities as being like stained glass stacked on top of each other, then they all combine together to influence the concept of the Horned God archetype. There seems to be a shape illuminated in this symphony that resonates with you.

So why not just cut out that same shape from black paper and let the light shine through it?

That's the shape of your god, I imagine.

You do not need a name. You can start with what you know. Writing your own poetry and hymns is a good way to start.

"To the Nameless God seen in the reflection of polished horns." That kind of thing, you know. Where do you see him? How do you know him? Write it down. Record the traces of him you find like a biologist lovingly recording tracks of a rare animal.

"To the Witchfather whom I know by feel but not by name, the hidden one that calls to me from the spring green fog." What feels right? Is he not behind a green fog? I think you would know. Maybe he is behind sheets of rain, crashing onto the rock in a cacophony.

He's got epithets. You will know them because you will be able to feel if they're right or not. Is he the Thunder-Blackened Face of the Battle-Oak? Is he the Jewel-Drenched Meadow of the Summer Rains? Is he the Frozen, Endless Lake?

It's not for an archetype. You're not trying to define the archetype, right. You're just trying to outline a guy you know has to be in there.

For offerings, for rituals, it's all the same. "To the North I call the Hidden One who exhales stars, whose hoofprints make lakes and valleys, who carries the sun and moon on his horns."

How do you work with someone if you don't know their nature?

But I think you do know his nature. I think you know his nature very well, but you are trying to pin it to one of a handful of very popular gods, which of course it does not fit.

Because I do not think yours is any of them.

[wrathofresistantx]

Bastian Bosse’s LiveJournal Activity (Part One)

On September 2nd, 2004, Bastian Bosse created his LiveJournal account. He posted to this account between September 2004 and August 2005, with his first entry being on September 2nd, 2004, and his last being on August 15th, 2005.

He posted his first entry on September 2nd, writing:

“So first, I have to try out how this works ...”

His entries during this time were about his airsoft guns and problems he was having at school, with him writing on September 8th:

“Well first of all, I got to class late, and they wrote me up. That’s especially good, when it happens on the first class with a new teacher! Well, it was only Religion ... the subject where they tell you such garbage that you like to go to class because it is so funny ... Our new topic: (for the third time) “Satanism / Occultism.” Oh man!

Then I rushed home after school and had to find out that my mom snooped around my stuff again a little ... Well, maybe they are just worried ...”

On March 7th 2005, he began posting again on his LiveJournal account, which he hadn’t posted to since September 15th, 2004. His post on this day mentioned being teased by his classmates, as he wrote:

“Other than that, really nothing spectacular happened during the week. I had to listen to the usual crap, like “Hey look! There is the Matrix-Man!” Looooooool, nitwits!”

On April 3rd, he wrote about ordering an MP5-SD6 airsoft machine gun online and not receiving the money on time:

“Then I ordered an MP5-SD6 AEG during break and told them that I would transfer the money on April 2nd . .. and what’s happening? The guy who is supposed to buy my old G36c is not coming, and now I don’t have the money .. . great!”

On May 15th, he wrote two entries, with one talking about his attitude to life:

“The longer I think about life, the more I realize how senseless it actually is ... Somebody is born, has a good life for 6 years, but then gets enrolled in school. Then unconsciously, he has to make a decision; do I stay the way I am or do I conform to the others? To be more precise, do I remain strong or do I become my own traitor?”

And the other mentioned a girl called Nadine:

“There is no progress with Nadine . . . I blame this sick HipHop Music that all the kids listen to . . . you have to go crazy and only talk shit. I HATE EVERYTHING!!! What’s up with all that shit??? Did I come to this damn world to be the idiot next door, my whole life? What should I do here? What are all of us supposed to do here?”

He wrote on May 16th:

“I am thinking about just dropping out of school next year, so I don’t have to see their faces anymore, so I don’t have to hear their voices anymore. No idea, if I should do that . . .”

He also responded to an online friend of his that commented:

“is it really that bad at your school? mhm, yeah, I was also glad when I was allowed to leave...”

“Indirectly. The fact that I am older than those in my class makes things significantly easier, in other words, it is not like it was in my old class, in which I was humiliated. But those people are all such complete morons; either over the top clowns or blowhard potheads, who consider themselves the greatest.”

His entries throughout May discussed his growing collection of airsoft guns. However in this period he also bought a Colt pistol, which he was able to test on May 18th:

"Then I was finally able to test my Colt, was a little lame, but nice ;) Other than that, nothing happened."

On May 23rd he wrote:

“Tomorrow is the 24th, Tuesday .. . and what will happen? NOTHING!!! I hate it, I hate to always be everybody’s dimwit. I hate to always be portrayed as a dork. I hate to always be the individual who seems unnecessary, but I hate it even more when people try to betray me . .. LH !!! Who do you think you are? What do you think you can get away with? Who gives you the right to breathe my air?”

“I am done with the world, I feel outcasted by it and hope for change. But how do we define such change? Or even more important: What am I doing here?”

His entries from this point forward would become a lot longer and discussed his thoughts on life, his guns, and his views on people at his school.

[End of Part One]

I'm doing this in two parts, otherwise this post would get stupidly long and a bit boring, both for me to write and for everyone else to read.

[aziraphales-library]

Lost Fic #194

1. Turning to my fellow forum members because I can't find the fic and fear it might have been deleted: The fic starts with Crowley and Aziraphale at the Ritz talking about the Fall and Aziraphale is terrified of the idea of Falling. They have an argument and Crowley says something like I wish you had fallen then you wouldn't be so scared all the time and then Aziraphale leaves. The next morning Crowley goes to the bookshop to apologize and finds Aziraphale has Fallen, but also hasn't? There is now a Fallen Aziraphale with sheep horns and also a non fallen Aziraphale. The latter is seated at his desk and hasn't acknowledged his demon counterpart or realized they are there. Crowley wanting to figure out how this happens decides to take Fallen Aziraphale to his flat, but discovers that if they are away from Angel Aziraphale Fallen Aziraphale passes out. The fic centers on Crowley dealing with 2 Aziraphales and trying to explore a relationship with both. Later we learn that Aziraphale forced himself to forget he made the Fallen Aziraphale to explore what a relationship with Crowley could be like without the risk of Falling. There is a scene where Crowley buys fallen Aziraphale a floral hairband thing for around their horns. And he panics when Fallen Aziraphale suddenly vanishes when angel Aziraphale finally acknowledges he created them and is controlling both bodies in a 1 soul 2 bodies kind of deal. - @05nataku

2. Hey! I have a desperate request for a lost fic. I have the habit of screenshotting/copy and pasting bits and pieces of fics that stuck with me somewhere, but recently I found one without name of the fic or the author. If somebody could tell me what those are, I'd be grateful all my life. It has been KILLING me! "I'm here for you, only for you." [love you] It sounded a little like will you marry me. - anon

3. Hello! :-) I'm looking for a 'through the ages' type fic. It was about how Crowley adopted a girl from Pompeii. From what I remember he had a huge house and Aziraphale & Crowley just bickered the entire time. They may have had to fake a relationship, but I'm not 100% sure about that. I think it was multi-chapter. Thank you so much! - anon

4. Hi, hearing that series 3 will be based on the unwritten sequel reminded me of an old fic, but I've been unable to find it. The fic was book!omens / pre-tv series, and was a fan version of the unwritten sequel based on the info publicly available from what NG & TP had said about the plot - it involved Crowley & Aziraphale travelling America, Jesus, national parks, Aziraphale making notes while watching free 15 mins of porn on the TV (and annoying Crowley with how much time this was taking up). I am not sure if the fic was on a03, I have vague memories of reading it not on a white screen, so think it was maybe hosted on LiveJournal? I think I originally found it via a rec list of classic fics on tumblr sometime shortly after S1 came out, but have been unable to find that list. Any help on finding it would be appreciated, but understand it may be lost to time. Thank you <3 - @mountlandme

5. Hello hello hello! Lovely stuff that you all are doing here! I've sauntered vaguely into this askbox because I'm looking for something- I really don't have high hopes for this to be found- it would take at least half a miracle, I think. But if anyone can find it, it's gonna be you, so i thought I might as well give it a shot. A few months ago, I read a wonderful little fic about Hastur and Ligur that I just CANNOT find anymore- pre fall setting, both were angels. Ligur was building the moon (or helping) and Hastur was some kind of watcher angel who was supposed to observe everything? I'm afraid I'm a bit blurry on the details, but I think Hastur was being made fun of by the other angels, and he hid in some kind of cave, feeling terribly overwhelmed and anxious- where Ligur later found him. The story then went on a little to describe the relationship they ended up forming through that. I'm terribly sorry that this is not a lot of info to go off of- I've looked through hundereds of fics and everything on the maggot husbands tag- but nothing was ringing any bells. Might have overlooked it, I'm not sure. It could just be gone. If there is any way anyone could help me find this again, I would be eternally grateful. But either way- thank you for taking the time to read this- and thank you for all the lovely work you do! - anon

If you know any of these fics please include the number in your reply! Thank you :)

- Mod D

[olderthannetfic]

fandom social justice history anon here - aaah, thank you, early fandom being dominated by academics definitely connected the dots I was missing, thank you! Yeah, now looking at it with this in mind, it's pretty obvious how the tone of the meta essays from that era, while often snarky or even outraged, definitely sounds more like the tone of people who are used to passionately arguing in a setting that doesn't allow you to just throw whatever ad hominem accusation at your opponent's head. In contrast, tumblr's (and as a result, twitter's and tiktok's) style of fandom drama now reads to me even more blatantly like a catfight between high schoolers who have just recently learned some Big Words they only care to use as ammunition. I've read multiple older fans (including your invaluably informative blog) talking about how tumblr definitely reshaped fandom and brought in a TON of new people, and how slash was far from the "mainstream" of fandom even in the livejournal-ffn.net days, and I'm having a feeling that, for all the imperfections of this first tumblr generation of fans' activism ("let my gays marry" etc etc) the thing that got slash to be "mainstreamed" within fandom the way it currently is, also has to do with this pretty sizeable influx of new fans being mostly teenagers. As in specifically, overwhelmingly teenage girls who were having their first sparks of interest in romance during the height of the "I'm not like other girls" era + everyone shitting on twilight & "girly" musicians, because if you look at the posts from that period, they often contrast being a slash reader with being the slutty partying "other girl" or annoying hipster & at my school too slash kind of spread as a "not like the other girls" alternative to mainstream romance. Yes, not the healthiest attitude either, and it's good we've mostly grown past that, but like I said, there's a good chance that was what buffed up the numbers of slash fans to the point where today people are surprised fandom ever even was hostile to it, and at least in my environment, fandom activism, for all its flaws, was most people's first exposure to any sort of "-rights" activism at all. But (as is probably obvious) I did not experience most of even that era personally (I joined tumblr fandom in 2014). Anyways, excuse the rambling, if you feel like adding anything to confirm or deny my hypothesis, I greatly appreciate it, and I hope you have a nice day/evening!

--

M/M still isn't mainstream in plenty of fandom contexts, just not the ones I hang out in, and "not like the other girls" of the type you describe was already big in the 90s among people who'd heard of fanfic. It's just that fanfic was harder to stumble across overall.

I think the two biggest factors are the changing attitudes towards gayness in mainstream culture in a number of countries and... well... AO3 getting popular.

FFN was the big place in the past, though not for my crowd. Now, AO3 is taking a massive bite out of not only its market share but now, in the last few years, Wattpad's.

When the visible institution around which fanfic revolves puts filtering out het front and center, it sends a strong message that previous fandom platforms did not. You had your m/m-only archives and your f/f-only archives and your places that let you filter for those but that treated het as an unmarked default.

Look at early discussions of AO3. There's an undercurrent there that we all assumed it would be one of a number of archives and that we didn't expect it to get this big.

Nobody could have foreseen the Het-Is-Eternal-Default Wattpad crowd being forced by their own platform's suckitude to come camp on the thing built by slashers. Now, we are the admins and they are the also-tolerated. That never happened before.

The thing that makes people not report gay hand holding as evil porn that must be eradicated is simply AO3 putting its foot down.

Anyone who thinks that virulent slash hate is gone just hasn't looked at other spaces.

This is not about individual fans behaving better: it is about institutional power.

[merryro]

bottom ryan ross fic recs =D

this post is what it says on the tin! mostly ryden, i'll indicate if otherwise. fics w ☆ means they're my FAVES. will update as i find more, so check it every so often and there Might be a new fic listed heh ^_^

fics on livejournal! (most of these are written by the same writer?!)

☆ Rose Is a Four-Letter Word *sort of gsf (but mostly ryden), summary: Ryan's allergic to roses. Well, maybe "allergic" is the wrong word for it. my absolute FAVOURITE fic. ever.

☆ There's No 'I' In Ryan Ross *gsf, summary: Jon Walker attempts the impossible: to make the gayest band on the planet even gayer

hormones in key *panic! gsf + pete wentz on the phone

The Taste of Red *summary: It would seem absurdly ordinary, Ryan waking up next to another body like this, except for the fact that Brendon's not breathing. vampire brendon!

We Were Dreamers Not So Long Ago *rywalk, summary: Set about ten years in the future in a cabin in the woods, Jon and Ryan go to unwind before they start up again. Ryan's less than pleased, but that changes quickly.

We Were Heading For The Sea *summary: "Across the kitchen table, I fired several rounds, but you were still sitting there when the smoke cleared." – Ani Difranco post-split ANGST ANGST

☆ and set this cruise control for crash *rycer, summary: We had to, Ryan says, for the band. my notes for this fic was "CDSZZYYFUCKING FIC IM LOSING ITTTTT"

☆ Crush (With Eyeliner) *gsf, summary: Yeah, honestly, Jon Walker totally is that kind of guy. He just doesn't know it yet. anything written in jon's pov is automatically a 10/10 fic

Broken Glass and Rusty Nails *summary: When Ryan gets the tattoo, he bears it casually, sprawled out in the chair and smiling at Brendon's chatter as the needle traces over his skin. ryan has a freaky pain kink

Here Be Dragons * no summary but here's the main gist: time travel fic, ryan wants to be the one to take brendon's virginity underaged brendon but not by a lot

A Little Less Sixteen Candles A Little More Schoolboy Crush *rywentzden or whatever the shipname for ryan/brendon/pete is, double penetration, summary: What if Ryan can have them both?

The Pros and Cons of Group Sex With Your Bandmates *gsf + pete again! that man is always in patd's business

☆ That First Inconveivable Touch *summary: Ryan never gets what he wants like this. It's just not how his life works. dirty sex in a bathroom!

Like a Game *sequel to That First Inconceivable Touch summary: Boys are only after one thing, Ryan is. Ryan doesn't know what he's after, but he hopes to find that only one thing one of these days so he can stop looking.

This Is Screaming 'Photo Op' *summary: Brendon thinks Ryan is totally sexy. brendon finds pics of ryan naked

☆ laid bare for all to see, but mostly just for you *no summary but here's the gist: ryan is a slut and brendon fucks him against a window (its REALLY hot)

☆ NaNoRyRo *a compilation of ryden smutshots over 30 days. literally felt like i struck gold finding this

Bets Off * summary: "I know you guys are taking bets on me and Brendon," Ryan said, "and I want in." kinda sad since we’re actually in the future now and… they didn’t last forever

you’ll be platinum *summary: Brendon's sex tape gets mixed reviews. i honestly love the way this fic went from brendons sex tape is leaked to ryan has an existential crisis

after i have dreamed *summary: Brendon’s eyes are huge and brown and his lashes are approximately as thick as trees, and yeah, their noses are brushing because Brendon has just leaned in closer. He’s thumbing Ryan’s arm carefully, blinking, and Ryan swallows and squeezes his eyes shut, suppressing the urge to bite his lip. such a beautiful fic, chockfull of wonderful imagery

In The Sound *was deleted off lj but luckily someone saved this on the wayback machine! so that’s the link i put here, summary: How could you walk away from it? Why are you still walking away? this fic. wow. ok it doesn’t count as bottom ryan bc theres no explicit sex, but its just such a good story so i wanted to recommend it! its a ‘what if’ brendon left the band scenario n yeah its heartbreaking but its a happy ending!!!

Take Center Stage And Step Up To Save The Last Dance (He Was A Sk8er Boi) *ryden switch! ryan tops first then brendon, if udm!! summary: They come from two different worlds. a fic inspired by Sk8er Boi by avril lavigne! ryans a skater and brendon does dance

like you imagined *summary: Yeah, Ryan's thought about it. ryden’s first time! sooo hot

Spin Cycle *ryan has a dirty stinky tshirt kink, doesn’t technically bottom cs he just sucks brendon off but its really hot!

To A Man’s Heart *side couples jon/joe and spencer/patrick summary: Desperate to escape an arranged marriage, Charleston belle Ryan Ross heads to Denver and takes his chances as a mail-order bride. When he arrives, he discovers that handsome rancher Brendon Urie has absolutely no desire to marry--until Ryan charms him with his sweet nature and even sweeter kisses.

One Summer Last Fall *summary: Fall Out Boy never existed, so life is pretty tough for Ryan Ross. no actual fucking in this one but its such a hilarious read!

In Medias Res *summary: One minute they were watching tv and Brendon was groping Ryan good-naturedly, and the next...

The Ones You Can Count On *ryan/william beckett/mike carden no summary but basically ryan is sad bc he cant have brendon so bill and mike carden of tai… fuck him! really hot and really good

☆ Four Men And A Little Cabin *gsf, Unrelated, non-linear scenes from a recording cabin

The Hand That Feeds *summary: It's always easy enough for Ryan to come to him after the fact, after ignoring Brendon all night, after being with her; easy enough for Brendon to give in.

☆ That’s What He Said *gsf, idk how to tag this but everyone fucks everyone, its hot, summary: Truckstops and Statelines and boyfriends, etc.

Sweeter Than Candy, Better Than Cake *gsf, summary: It's really no big deal that their male guitarist smells fruity and has unnecessarily glossy lips.

The One Where Ryan Ross Gets Gangbanged *panic! gsf, but mainly ryden, summary: All Ryan wants on his birthday is to get fucked. A lot.

just a little longer, long enough *kind of rycer? and joncer.. and also ryden… summary: Spencer has plans, Spencer gets what he wants, Spencer is clueless. A spencer character study, really worth a read!!

☆ where the light bends at the cracks *ryon, with a super subtle tiny hint at ryden, no summary and idk how to describe it even, just read it!!!

Hum Along With The TV *not really explicit sex but im pretty sure ryan bottoms… summary: "Brendon." There's a smile as he sits down on the bottom step, knocking Ryan's knees slightly; a smile with straight, white teeth and an imperious mouth, one that gets imprinted into memory. He cups his hands around his lips and tilts his head. There's a brief orange glow and a lazy stream of smoke as Brendon asks, "So, what are you here for?"

"penises are for boys, vaginas are for girls, unless of course, something crazy happens. then anything's game." *fem ryan!

☆ Date Night *summary (ok not a summary, its an excerpt, live with it.): It’s almost like starting from scratch, even though they’ve been invading each other’s personal space on a fairly regular basis for a couple of years now. But there’s a big difference between friendship and relationship and up to this point, everything that’s been done has been for show. i really loved this one for some reason… so sweet!

Moulin Rouge AU *rycer, (toxic-ish) brencer and ryden, MAJOR character death(s), no summary but its basically what it says on the tin HAHA. i really wanted to love this but god that ending is just SICK. maybe one of you will be into the heartbreak as terrible as this one gave me

Retail jobs and cracks in the ceiling *they fuck in the second part! summary: Such a muddy line between the things you want and the things you have to do.

☆ Always Leaving, But *brendon bottoms in the 3rd part but the rest of it should be bottom ryan! has ryan/keltie and a little brendon/pete, summary: If there's a science to it, Brendon can't figure it out. This fic. THIS FIC. fucked me UP. read it!!!!

False Advertising *kind of rycer at the end, summary: AU. Ryan makes a mistake. Spencer helps him out.

☆ (sequel to False Advertising) Small Blessings *rycer/brencer and joncer too, summary: Spencer Smith puts up with a lot of shit. okay so this was a really strange whack fic, but in the BEST WAY possible. totally recommend it, just. read itttttt

It’s All Secret Love *summary: Flashbacks and love making.

everyone is shaking to your name *summary: Okay, so, um. Ryan really, really hates admitting this – and, well, he's never really admitted it before, the only person who knows is Spencer – but... Ryan goes on the voyeur website things. this one’s a little strange, so do heed the notes and warnings!

Carousel *this one’s a bit tough to tag the ships HAHA its gsf, ryden-leaning with jealous spencer, and also its MPREG (read the prequel linked in the notes), summary: "Don't do anything drastic before coffee. I don't want to miss it." huh! this one was strange too… do read it though, its interesting… a housemd crossover (kinda)

☆ ☆ All We Fear is All That Can Save Us *summary: Jon and Ryan still talk to Spencer, and Jon still talks to Brendon, but since that decision was made last May, Ryan and Brendon haven't really talked. And Brendon knows that he shouldn't be surprised that Ryan's here; after all, he's here and he's never been as, well, expressive about sex as Ryan has been. TWO STARS BC THIS FIC IS GENUINELY LIFE CHANGING. dom brendon and sub ryan post-split and its ough my GOD. read it read it NOWWW

Elsewhere *small hint of one-sided brencer, The Giver (novel) au, summary: According to Spencer, the Community is the way it is for the good of everyone. “Choices are dangerous,” he tells Brendon. “What if people were to choose the wrong thing?” ~20,000, this reawakened my childhood obsession with dystopian novels, give it a read!

☆ Nerds In Love *summary: "Sorry, man. Maybe you should call Geek Squad."

this one time, at band camp… (or; save a drum, bang a drum major) *summary: Spencer's best friend is falling for the guy they used to refer to as "the annoying kid from All-State". definitely my favourite band au

☆ the trapeze act was wonderful but never meant to last *wentzross, summary: Someday we'll be loved the way we want to be loved by the people we want to love us. SO BEAUTIFUL AND TERRIBLY HEARTBREAKING. read it if you hate/love yourself

Except under the pale light *wentzross, summary: Later, Pete will make pancakes. Maybe he'll bring Ryan along to the studio, maybe he'll let Ryan talk him into eyeliner again.

Walking Sideways Takes Longer, But You Get There Eventually *spyan, summary: Ryan tries to have a positive heteronormative influence on Spencer, but it doesn't go as planned, because come on! Who do you think you are kidding, Ryan Ross?

Dealing With Bullets *summary: “You know these words, though.” Brendon points out. Ryan just shrugs and says, “Yes, my mind does, but do my fingers?” Brendon thinks about the question for a long, long time. Three days later, Spencer is already asking about how Ryan got Brendon to be this quiet and would he mind sharing the secret?

pointy fucking shoes *this one’s kinda fucked up, so, summary: Ryan isn't sure who he is so he tries to forget.

☆ Back To The Place You Are *brendon/OFC but its ryden-centric and ryden endgame! summary: “He’s cute.” Brendon looks over at her, startled, and wonders if it’s all as obvious as it feels, if she can see it scrawled across his face after only talking to him for ten minutes. “He’s uh. He’s my band mate.” She smiles and nods like she knows there’s more to it than that, but doesn’t know him well enough to ask. really cute brendon character study sorta? its a good exploration of ryden’s relationship and its a happy ending =) readdd ittttt

I thought *summary: In the beginning, the Thing that Brendon and Ryan start up isn't supposed to be anything other than a way to relax and unwind. After awhile, Brendon stops being sure what it actually is, and what either of them want.

These Elegant Crimes *wentzross (technically its more petekey which has nothing to do w ryro but i digress, its a good fic!) summary: After his Summer of Like ends, Pete convinces himself that Ryan is what he needs. Pete's still got a few hang-ups, however, and that's made clearest when Infinity on High is produced. In other words: No one is getting what they need.

Hasselhoff *wentzross, jailbait ryan, summary: Pete Wentz can't seem to drink enough to have a good time at this rep party. The beer doesn't taste right, the band playing pretty much sucks, and everywhere he turns dumb teenagers shanghai him. But when one teen, a slight, brown-eyed boy, pops up, Pete can't help but feel something other than annoyance.

Like Light Ends, With a Z *ryden switch!! brendon gets bit by a chinchilla and enters a sex craze 😵‍💫😵‍💫

Clandestine *summary: Ryan doesn't expect Brendon to actually show up in New York at the show and he certainly doesn't expect what happens, only now he can't quite let go. the young veins postdivorce era fic!

I Am the Derivative and You Are the Curves *summary: Brendon’s good at math. Ryan isn’t. In fact, Ryan’s so bad, he needs a tutor. In fact, his tutor is Brendon. This, of course, leads to weekly meetings, but sushi breaks and local concerts follow, to costume parties and beer pong, first dates and thanksgiving break, and more than Ryan could've thought possible from someone with a stack of books that thick. theres some past jon/brendon

Acquiescence Hard Gained *actually a joncer fic, but theres SOME ryden and i love this fic so im reccing it anyway. summary: Spencer had the control. It took Jon a little longer to notice that perhaps Spencer didn’t want that role. d/s elements

Irrevocably Combined *summary: Wherein Ryan really just needs some time to figure a few things out. takes place after ryan’s dad dies

Meant It When I Said “The Pleasure Is Mine” *no fucking, just really intense rimming and YES

☆ The Width of a Circle *summary: An object at rest will remain at rest unless acted upon by an external and unbalanced force.' Patrick watches the pieces fall together. just, the sweetest fic ever. tells the story of ryden getting together through the eyes of patrick

Bedazzled (blinded by the light) *summary: Brendon is Ryan's canvas.

Synergy *gsf, summary: They weren't so much dating as simply existing.

☆ Ryan Ross’s Guide To Sex Positions *summary says it all tbh, summary: Ryan's favorite sex positions with all three of his boyfriends, and his favorite with all of them together, THIS FIC IS EVERYTHING IVE EVER WANTED

Asphyxiophilia *spyan, summary: Ryan discovered his biggest kink, the thing that could get him off the fastest, make him come the hardest, when he was almost too young to even understand what he was feeling. breathplay! super hot. underaged spencer though

How naptime can go horribly right *no summary but basically ryan wants to nap but brendon wants to fuck so he does!

Some Things We Can’t Escape *rockett, summary: Ryan knew exactly how Bill was 'sorry'; sorry for overstepping that mark, for making impossible feelings suddenly flare up from where the two boys had kept them buried, sorry for making it real. Unbearably, painfully, real. HOLYYY wow i love rockett so i love this fic so very very much

fics on ao3!

not to shamelessly plug but my patd fics are all bottom ryan. it's not much but check it out if you wanna ^_^

☆ ash in your mouth *summary: Ryan just tilts his head, hands behind his back on the table, sweaty hair sticking to his forehead, make-up runny and smudgy, eyes alive, little pearl teeth biting his lips as if he’s holding something back. the end has a little kick to it.

Give Me Envy, Give Me Malice, Give Me Your Attention *summary: The aftermath of Brendon running into Ryan at the 2015 Halloween party.

A Fever You Can't Sweat Out *rycer (implied gsf), summary: Ryan has a strange affinity for sweat. And when I say affinity… sex pollen-esque

Hands Down *summary: Brendon is experimenting, but he doesn't know that Ryan is too.

Out of Tune *this fic is locked so you need an account to read it, summary: Brendon wakes up tone deaf. Ryan has no idea what to do. Maybe sex will fix it?

What We Have Is What We Will Be Given *summary: They finally have a hotel night, and Ryan's got everything planned, even if he's not the one in charge.

☆ No Object *wentzross, ryden switch, summary: The first blowjob Pete gets from Ryan is startlingly mediocre, considering that it's the kid's job.

Fucking like rabbits *summary: Ryan has been desperate for the whole show, Brendon is sweaty and in love, and their last song is a fucking love song. They really were reinventing love right on that stage. stage gay on another level

it's just flesh, it's just flesh *locked fic! summary: Ryan's mouth tastes sort of like the sour candy he got from the vending machine earlier, but mostly it's just hot and wet and warm. this one also has a lil kick! small kick

Drive Faster, Boy *summary: Ryan, Brendon, backseats, secrets.

☆ That Left a Mark *DUBCON (brendon is super drunk) summary: Alcohol initially serves as a stimulant, then induces feelings of relaxation and reduced anxiety. Consumption of two or three drinks in an hour can impair judgment, lower inhibitions, and induce mild euphoria.

An Unlikely Victorian Heroine *locked fic, summary: "You're like a Victorian heroine," Brendon says, rolling one bracelet over Ryan's hand to expose a little more skin, then another and another until he has a small pile on the bed. "Arms aren't supposed to get me so hot, Ross."

☆ How Did I Fall In Love With You? *summary: Bad things happen when Ryan reads fanfiction. i love meta fics like this

You Will Know The Difference When I Touch You *summary: It wasn’t a gay thing at first. Well, it was possible that Brendon had a tiny little crush on Ryan, but it was a buried thing in the back of his still-half-Mormon brain, emerging very slowly.

Two of Cups *the second part is gsf, summary: Spencer and Ryan are part of Pete's travelling circus. Jon and Brendon come for the show, but there's something about the place that keeps them coming back for more.

It must be an alien thing *idk if this counts but its ryan getting girl parts and brendon fucks him and if bden fucks him then yeah hes a bottom idc, summary: “His dick’s missing too,” adds Jon, and if Ryan had lasers in his eyes, Jon Walker would be history right then and there. “And he keeps telling this alien theory, but it can’t be fucking aliens, man. Aliens are too busy doing their shit to give you tits and a pussy.”

☆ Leaving Without Moving *mainly ryden but theres a hint of one-sided rycer from ryan, summary: "I'm not trying to embarrass you or anything here. But seriously, I'm just trying to make things clear - what you want is to be my own personal little toy, is that it? You want to be my pet in the... pet sense?" I HAVE NOOO IDEA HOW IVE NEVER COME ACROSS THIS FIC BEFORE ITS SO GOOD!!

☆ Hard to Believe in Sundays *rywalk, summary: Ryan shouldn't be making out with one of The Academy Is…'s techs in the dusky brown darkness behind his own tour bus where everyone, anyone, could see. Truckstops and Statelines-era. Just. wow the writing and the story are super amazeballs

Candyman *summary: It's a strange and beautiful thing to hate yourself so much you'd let someone else do this to you. Even stranger is trusting them enough to say these things and not mean it. Or mean it and love fuck you anyway. post-split, kinda poetic and angsty

☆ Give me more *read the tags! summary: They called this tough love. 2005, just starting out the band, brendon getting kicked out his house, just a really interesting and well-written fic. couldn't put it down once i started!

☆ Dog Ears, Frozen Lakes and the Resonance of Your Voice *gsf (mainly ryden), summary: The boys go on vacation to a secluded cabin in Switzerland for Christmas. a short sweet and hot fic! ryan just loves his whole band

Bossy *summary: In which Ryan is like, kind of a bitch to be honest, but in a good way. Subby top brendon and dom bottom ryan

☆ We’ll Reinvent Love *brendon bottoms in the last chapter, summary: “He remembers back when he was younger, and he would scrape his elbow, and because he hadn’t yet started these daily screaming matches with his mom, she would place a band-aid over it, ever so gently, and then an even gentler kiss on top of that. And because Ryan looks like his world is one big scraped elbow at the moment, Brendon leans forward and kisses him, butterfly-soft, and pulls away before Ryan gets a chance to do it first.” read this all almost in one shot and it made me slighty crazy… read it, it is SO wonderful

A Little Push *summary: In which Brendon finds out some interesting info about Ryan and acts on it.

[mamaz00m]

It's been ten literal years.

It's about time I finish what I started.

I've been gone so long that I don't even know what Boosh fandom is like anymore. I don't know how active it is, I don't know who all is still hanging around. Really I can only hope that by posting this to AO3, anyone who is subscribed to me will see this update and be happy that the story is finally complete.

This story's incomplete status has haunted me for years. I met my best friend through Boosh fandom in the LiveJournal days (RIP--I have fully lost my login for that site) and since I moved in with her in June of 2019, she has stayed on top of my ass about finally completing this fic.

As you'll all know, I wrote and posted two chapters in 2019 (as well as two one-shots for this universe) with the harassment of my bestie and cheerleading from @cle-o-pat-ra, whom I own an apology to for falling off the face of the planet once the pandemic hit.

I had a real All Eyes On Me moment in 2020. Without getting too much into it, after years of dealing with mental health issues which led to me becoming a shut-in, I moved across country to be with my best friend. I started going out, I started making friends. I started finally living. And then Covid happened and I went off the rails a bit. Quite a bit.

It took some work, but I am doing a lot better now.

So what prompted this return?

Ironically, it was watching GBBO with Bestie over dinner each night. We subscribed to Netflix just to watch it this year. It was seeing Noel--smiley, cheeky, and only just now finally beginning to show any signs of aging--that made my heart clinch.

I found myself wondering what Gabe would be up to at Noel's current age. How Eli is doing.

I realized I missed these characters desperately.

I can only hope you did, too.

Because I have tentative plans for the future...

I'm going to tag the folks I can remember enjoying this fic back when I was more active in the fandom. And I'll be around, in case me showing up like this stirs up any big feelings.

Thank you all for showing so much patience towards me. For loving these characters and playing in this space with me for ten long years. I've missed this world and I've missed you.

@culumacilinte @arbeaone @azurfemme @littleredchucks @radiumkind @oblong-goblin @the-stoned-ranger @pussywhang @concupiscence66

And of course, giant, massive thanks to @derangedficrecs / @derangedbutterfly for being this fic's beta for over half the chapters before my life got so hectic and...well, I owe you an apology too. I'm sorry.

Raise Hell. Chapter 21: THE WORLD

[impishtubist]

happy birthday, krabapple <3

Your fics have brought me such joy since the LiveJournal days, so here, I knocked up Remus for you. I hope you have a great rest of your day <3 @lizlemonbennet

(many thanks to the discord for doing a plot spitballing session with me many many moons ago regarding remus getting pregnant and his students being mad about it, y'all are the real mvps. also I hope someone writes the 100K version of this someday.)

---

At first, Harry didn’t bat an eye at the owls that swept in periodically throughout breakfast that morning, dropping off letters for Sirius before flying off again. Out of everyone in the household, Sirius got the most correspondence, and it wasn’t unusual for there to be a flurry of owls in their home for the first few hours of the morning. 

He did take notice when the pile grew to be twenty letters, and then thirty. Even more noticeable, Sirius wasn’t even opening them. 

“Er, Sirius,” he said, after the fortieth owl swept in and then out again. “You didn’t get voted Sexiest Wizard Alive again, did you?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Harry,” Sirius said, giving him a smile that was only slightly strained. “That contest isn’t until May.”

“Do you have another fan club?” Teddy asked.

“No.” 

“Okay,” Harry said, “then why aren’t you opening your mail?”

“I want to enjoy breakfast with my boys!” Sirius said, though the cheer in his voice sounded slightly forced. “It’s your first day home from school. I can read the mail later.” 

“Isn’t that Hermione’s handwriting?” Teddy piped up, pointing at a letter near the top of the pile. Before he could stop himself, Harry snatched it up, his Seeker’s reflexes outwitting Sirius’s. 

“Dear Lord Black,” he read out loud, fending off Sirius’s attempts to grab the letter with one hand, “I am incredibly disappointed to learn that Professor Lupin will be unable to teach for the rest of the school year--and, most importantly, will be unable to oversee our NEWTs--thanks to your actions, and I hope that you take this into consideration in the future should you decide to procreate again…”

Harry wrinkled his nose and tossed the letter at Sirius. “Gross, Sirius.” 

“I didn’t write the letter! Take it up with Hermione.”

“Are they all like that?”

“At least there aren’t any Howlers this time,” Sirius said, slumping back in his chair. “I’ve been getting them for days, ever since Remus announced his pregnancy and his intention to take a leave of absence starting at the holidays. Your classmates are very upset.”

“Your timing could have been better,” Harry said. “In more ways than one.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Come on, Sirius.” Harry rolled his eyes. “Remus is almost five months, yeah? You know what else was almost five months ago? My birthday. You two are gross and I hate you.” 

“No, you don’t.” Sirius got up for more coffee. As he passed behind Harry and Teddy, he kissed them both on top of the head. “Your friends do, though.” 

“It is your fault their favorite and most competent professor is out of commission for the rest of the year.”

“I will personally write every single OWL and NEWT student a glowing letter of recommendation. No matter what their scores are this year while Professor Lupin is on sabbatical, they will have their pick of jobs after graduation. Happy?” 

“That includes us, right?”

“Yes, of course it does.”

Harry stuck out his hand. “Deal.”

Sirius shook his hand, and then Teddy’s, and at that moment Remus came into the kitchen. He had stopped being able to fit into his own clothes, and was now stealing Sirius’s sweaters and joggers. Those wouldn’t do for much longer, Harry thought, but figured that was a battle his guardians could fight on their own.

“Oh, dear,” Remus said, spotting the pile of letters. Several had fallen to the floor. “That’s…”

“At least a quarter of the student body,” Sirius said. 

“I’m sorry, love.” 

“As your eldest has so helpfully pointed out, it is all my fault.”

“Well,” Remus said with a wink, “not all your fault.”

“Right!” Harry said, standing abruptly. “I’m off! Come on, Teds. Let’s get out of here before they get more disgusting.”

[ketaks]

“why Atlantis?”

I shared some very quick and informal thoughts a while back on why I hoped enough children grew up with the movie (or are discovering it now) to be influenced by Kida despite her exclusion from the “Disney Princess” brand; or by Milo as an unconventional hero who might remind them of themselves. that post received a couple of standout personal additions from mutuals, so I thought I would share my own “Atlantis story” whether anyone asked for it or not, because it is a bit different. it’s a so-so sample of my writing to lead with, and it came out schmaltzier than intended. but it’s how my pen happened to hit the paper in the moment and shows pretty clearly my typical romanticism, for better or worse.

I was eight years old on opening day in 2001 and as ecstatic as a little girl could be. my mom and I had taken a day trip to see my dad, who out of the goodness of his heart had agreed to sit through a local children’s entertainer in the afternoon and then a Disney movie in the evening. but in between singing puppets and my difficulty keeping still and responding as expected to questions and social cues, his patience started wearing and my mom slipping into a helpless bystander role. when we got to the theater, I had a gut feeling nobody was in for a fun time.

“two adults, one child for Atlantis,” my dad groaned at the ticket window.

I felt I was sitting between one person having teeth pulled and another smiling for the most awkward photos of her life. my mom was always my animated movie buddy, so her silence especially was deafening. her chuckle at Milo in the boiler room was a pin dropping, and her breath in on Helga’s “ho, ho, ho” was a disquieting hiss.

…alright, my dad finally motioned as the Leviathan tore across the screen.

“they talk so fast, it’s hard for me to understand them. and there aren’t even any songs,” was the most explanation my mom would give. the ride home was long, silent, and pitch-black as I lay across the backseat. I wanted to know what happened to Milo, but the wooziness of shame swirling through me let me know that wanting wasn’t even worth it.

pin trading was at its peak the next year at Disney World, and I was on a mission to fill my new pink lanyard with all my favorite characters before the trip was done. in very little time I found myself gazing up at a cast member wearing a Milo pin, and I shocked myself how quickly I asked her for it. I hoped holding onto it would reassure me that that wonderful story and character would wait for me as long as I needed.

watching the movie in high school felt a bit like the very rare party I was lucky enough to inexplicably find myself. I loved what I saw, but I felt my simply being there was a fluke. I wondered at first why I struggled to enjoy beyond arm’s length, but the damage was still in effect. it only reminded me again what I wished every single day: that my brain had kept developing normally, and all the things my autism either distorted or outright forbid would have happened exactly as they were meant. and since attitudes toward special interests had far to go, what would have fed me soup and covered me in kisses at age six could only visit through the glass at sixteen.

the days of LiveJournal and early Tumblr and Instagram came and went, and “Disney adult” culture went from a trickle to a wave. I attended community college as an English major and met my sister-bestie there on Halloween 2013, she dressed as Violet Parr and I as Minnie Mouse. our Anna and Elsa cosplay just a month later on opening night of Frozen couldn’t have been more fitting. a decade later, she made my dream come true of finally seeing Disney World as an adult, and no planning could have prepared me for the personal growth that trip would inspire. I loved throwing my arms around Mirabel in the Magic Kingdom because of, not despite, the emotional control that had finally taken hold at thirty. I wouldn’t have traded that interaction for the one awaiting the costumed little girl right behind me. that realization shook me to the bone.

“don’t cry because it’s over. smile because it happened,” my dad would tell me countless times since childhood with only the best intentions. “I haven’t been able to stop smiling,” I told him week after week following my trip. falling asleep for months scrolling back through those four special days was the most satisfying thing ever.

then one night, deep within a Magic Kingdom dream like any other, there they were. Milo Thatch and Princess Kida, just as they appeared in the “rare character guide” videos I had watched before the trip many months ago. they were hugging a child who had just run up to meet them: a young girl who looked very familiar. that settles it, I thought. the circle had at last closed.

now about once a week, my darling pup hears, “ready for Atlantis?” or “ready for Milo?” and leaps to my side in bed as I start the movie on my laptop. indeed, it feels exactly like a big warm hug every time. the artistry, the story, the characters, the humor, the heart. Milo is every bit the hero I needed as an uncertain child who loved words and language but hated being different…but he’s the one I got as an adult finding peace with her brain and eager to keep chasing her dreams. I’m writing more original words every day, journaling again, and speaking and thinking more fluidly all because of jotting down random thoughts about this movie and liking how they sounded. I’ve also put aside the idea that the influencer path might bring me joy, and I feel comfortable online again and have met some great folks so far through fan works and discussions from silly to profound.

and so I thank that little voice that whispered for 23 years: “…Atlantis is waiting.”

[allgremlinart]

hi hello hi u were lookign for some superbat fics w some clark angst on the side so here's some fic recs in no particular order. mind the tags before you read!

bricklaying by evocates - [E] [DCEU] [148k] a fic ive only recently read and has blown my mind out of the water, mostly because of how it tackles organized crime and the dynamics of dceu superbat. it does a wonderful job of worldbuilding and bruce and clark's dialogue is just poetic and philosophical at times its *chefs kiss*.

Didn't Know Which Way Was Home 'Til I Found You by watchingthestars13 - [E] [DCU] [312k] a bit of a meaty fic, it mostly centers on the superbatfam, because its a canon retelling of the batman mythos IF superbat were together since the start. there's this one arc where they all cope with Bruce being dead lost in time and Clark's POV chapters are gut-wrenching with grief and mourning. If you wanna skip to that part it's on Chapter 19.

Porridge (New And Improved) by ren_makoto - [T] [DCU] [19k] - ok this is like. ANGSTY. and kinda dark? the author doesn't tag much but i assure you this is sad, like clark-mourning-for-bruce sad. i don't wanna spoil you because I consider this one of THE superbat classics since this author's been writing superbat since their fanfiction.net/livejournal days. they also have a sort-of sequel wherein its bruce being fucked up called everybody knows the plague is coming.

what is (and what should never be) by TheResurrectionist / @frownyalfred - [Not Rated] [Batman - All Media Types] [2.7k] - a lil tumblr prompt fic from one of my fave superbat authors! its got bruce getting cancer and clark being angsty. what more could you want?

When the Hummingbirds Return by Emanium - [M] [DCU] [19.4k] - i havent finished this one yet actually, but its been recc'ed to me and on my fic reading list for a while now. its about the aftermath of bruce being put into a coma by bane and its reaaaal thick with the angst

5 Times Superbat Had Sex and the One Time They Admitted It Was More by April_Blooms - [M] [DCU] [19k] - despite what it says on the tin, it's also surprisingly angsty! because its about the pining!!!!

Cardboard World by dracoqueen22 - [E] [Justice League Cartoon] [10k] - pain. and sad. there's a reason why this is tagged apocalypse

The Only by pasdecour - [M] [DCU] [3.7k] - oh this one hurts. this one genuinely hurts. i need to sit down

and anything by these authors honestly: susiecarter, FabulaRasa, liodain, mithen, amyritter, Resacon1990, serephent, batsy_rocks, rotasha

hope this helps!

((first of all so sorry this took so long to get to, my asks have gotten very backlogged lol))

THANK YOU... for this feast.. a lot of these authors are very good and I would recommend their works in general so 👌

[irisbleufic]

So, I spent the last 5 days of sitting around with this serious arm injury rereading the very first epic fic series I ever wrote. Although the posting dates on the below chapters are all 18 November 2013, the reality is that these were originally posted as individual stories on LiveJournal throughout the entirety of 2004 and into the spring of 2005. Those were my junior and senior years of college. This series was the last thing I relocated from LJ to AO3, and I was too exhausted to do a proper comb-through for typos and minor formatting issues.

Well, that state of things is no more. I cleaned up all of the editorial issues during this week’s rewatch-the-film-and-reread-my-fic binge. I also changed the names of a few of the chapters (they’re really stories strung together), although not drastically. The chapter called “Clippings” used to be called “Business,” “Spiral” used to be called “You Must Listen to Me Now,” and “Closer to Fine” used to be called “The Middle of Things.”

I had an ask a few days ago along the lines of: What the hell is Toy Soldiers, anyway? On the surface, it’s a 1991 action movie/teen drama. It stars a young Sean Astin and Wil Wheaton as Billy Tepper and Joey Trotta, the central protagonists among the cast of younger characters. At the time I saw it in early 2004, I had only ever seen Sean Astin in The Lord of the Rings. And, incredibly, I didn’t even know who Wil Wheaton was.

That might be one reason I was able to take this film to heart so earnestly (i.e. I completely lacked knowledge of Wesley Crusher, Wheaton’s Star Trek character from around that time who it was traditional to mock, although I still don’t get why). However, the primary reason this film wrecked the back end of my 2004 spring break was that I had watched The Celluloid Closet for the first time only days before watching Toy Soldiers.

I challenge any queer person to watch this documentary (about the Hays Code and the horrible fate met by queer-coded and queer characters in cinema) and this under-appreciated action film back to back and come out of it without feeling devastated and furious about what happens to Billy and Joey. Especially to Joey. And now, in an era of rampant school shootings and hostage situations, Toy Soldiers hits with even more gravity than it did in the 1990s and early 2000s.

These boys are where it started for me. Every every horrific canon media ending that has ever made me furious, every hundreds-of-thousands-of-words long fix-it series I’ve written in the past 19 years, can be traced back to this moment. This string of stories was what I wrote before I ever wrote the likes of Crown of Thorns (Good Omens), Anthology (Pacific Rim), and Delicate, Dangerous, Obsessed (Gotham). Hell, one of my instrumental original characters in CoT appeared for the first time at the end of Book of Hours before I ever thought to use her in a Good Omens context.

This story has meant the world to me even though the fandom around it at the time of writing, and even now, was never more than about 20 people. Most of those people are still with me, the dearest friends I could ever hope to have 💙

*

Chapter Index for The Series / Book of Hours by irisbleufic

1. Stereotypical (2013-11-18)

2. Persuasion (2013-11-18)

3. Taste Testing (2013-11-18)

4. Leaving a Mark (2013-11-18)

5. Trick or Treat (2013-11-18)

6. Omerta (2013-11-18)

7. Translation (2013-11-18)

8. Sketches (2013-11-18)

9. Falling (2013-11-18)

10. Caught (2013-11-18)

11. What It Takes (2013-11-18)

12. Noteworthy (2013-11-18)

13. These Shadows Have Offended (2013-11-18)

14. Love Never Did Run Smooth (2013-11-18)

15. Within Reason (2013-11-18)

16. Composure (2013-11-18)

17. Clippings (2013-11-18)

18. Without End (2013-11-18)

19. Prologue: Every Hour (2013-11-18)

20. Book of Hours: Part 1 (2013-11-18)

21. Book of Hours: Part 2 (2013-11-18)

22. Flashback: Spiral (2013-11-18)

23. Flashback: Silver (2013-11-18)

24. The Orchids (2013-11-18)

25. Closer to Fine (2013-11-18)

[grimmkinkmeme]

Welcome to the Grimm Kink Meme

Doing our part to reintroduce kink memes to the fandom ecosystem!

Credit to @wwdits-kink-meme for the idea and for their generosity in allowing other fandoms to use their blog as a template to start additional kink memes!

SUBMIT A KINK MEME HERE

FILL A PROMPT HERE

This post will be updated with frequently used tags for ease of navigation on mobile.

Questions? Check out our FAQ! (also under the cut for mobile users)

What is a kink meme? A kink meme is a public (usually nsfw) prompt thread, originally popularized on LiveJournal. One person will throw out an idea that they don’t or can’t fulfill themselves in the hopes that it will spark creativity in someone else. A kink meme can be as simple as pairing + trope, or a full well-thought-out AU.

How do I submit a kink meme? Use the ask button on this blog and it will go into the queue! You can submit anonymously (traditional), but it will be posted either way - make sure you click anonymous if you don’t want your face on it!

How do I fill a kink meme? Any way you like! Submissions are open for you to submit your prompt fills directly to this blog, but you can also do any of the following:

Reblog the ask post and put your fill in the body of the reblog

Make your own original post on tumblr and link back to the original prompt post

Post your prompt fill to AO3 or another fanfic archive and post a link on tumblr

Whatever you do, we just ask that you link the prompt on your creative piece and/or reblog the submission with your piece included or linked (whichever applicable). If you are putting an explicit fill in reblogs, please remember to add a community label if the original post doesn’t already have one!

Can I fill/submit an NSFW prompt if I am under 18? No, you should not do this. Doing so not only endangers you, but the adults in fandom as well. We can’t stop you from seeking out certain content if you want to see it, but you should not be interacting with adults on sexual topics.

Can I fill a prompt with art? Absolutely! If your craft is drawing, painting, crocheting, stop-motion, needlepoint, cosplay, etc. and you are inspired by a kink meme, we encourage you to participate! We also encourage adding alt text to any images.

What content do you allow in submissions? All ships and kinks are welcome - yes, even that one. Prompts not related to Grimm will be rejected. Venting, character-bashing, or incomprehensible prompts will be deleted. Transphobia, racism, misogyny, homophobia, antisemitism, Islamophobia, or ableism will get you blocked.

How are kink memes tagged? Tags will include any and all ships, kinks, applicable tropes, and potentially triggering content to the best of our ability. If something is missing or you would like to request a certain trigger tag, send an ask! Every possible trigger may not be tagged for, however, so it’s important to remember to protect yourself and your online experience.

Can I submit SFW prompts? Of course! Despite the name, kink memes aren’t just for porn.

Can I submit prompts with characters from the Grimm tie-in novels, comics, and games, too? Of course!

Can I submit prompts with my OC? No, but not because there’s anything wrong with OCs! These prompts are for someone else to fill, so it has to include characters they know.

Can I submit reader-insert or y/n prompts? Yes, as long as the other characters are from Grimm!

Can I submit crossover prompts? Not at this time.

Can I make my own kink meme for a different fandom using this blog as a template? This kink meme was created using the WWDITS Kink Meme as a template with permission of the generous mods as stated in their FAQ. I encourage you to check out their kink meme if you’d like a thorough starting point!

Who are the mods? Right now this blog is run by Jujubiest, one lone Grimmster who misses LiveJournal kink memes. If at some point we have additional mods, we will list them here.

[nyxocity]

Hi Nyx,

I just wanted to write a quick message letting you know how much I adore seeing you here. I've been a fan of Supernatural for a long time, but it's only been in the past couple of years that I've really read SPN fanfiction or engaged with the fandom in any conceivable way, and it's something I wish I'd done a lot sooner. There are so many amazing recommendations for fics on LiveJournal that just aren't around anymore, and unfortunately, the Wayback Machine only captures a very small fraction of them (although shoutout to people who were saving webpages back in 2008!!!). That's part of the reason why I'm so grateful to see you around. As lovely as it is watching new people build their own castles in the sandbox of a piece of media I love, there's something so incredibly warm and cozy and joyful about seeing a familiar username pop up on A03 or Tumblr. It's kind of like coming home, if you know what I mean :) Fandom (any fandom, really, but SPN is near the top of that list) can be exhausting and disheartening and toxic, just as much as it can be exhilarating and uplifting and transformative, and while I'm sure that as someone who's been in this space for a long time, you've most definitely encountered an unreasonable amount of the former, I'm ridiculously glad you're still writing. Because to me, you are a part of what makes the SPN fandom such a wonderful place to be in :)

Oh, and besides that, have I mentioned how much I love your writing? Because I love, love, LOVE it. All your fics are so diverse, I have no idea how you come up with the plot sometimes (especially the current one, UGH I'm dying just thinking about it!!). But no matter how complicated or simple the story, there's something so heartfelt and tender in each one, with beautiful angst and the kind of witty humour that makes me want to reach for a pen and take physical notes—not that I end up doing that because then the hot sexiness comes in and I lose all coherent thought ｡^‿^｡ Speaking of which, your characterization of Dean and Sam is EXACTLY how I see them, too (including Top Dean/Jensen which is absolutely delicious and I so wish there was more of that in the fandom) and ohmygod I don't know whether to love you or hate you for making me read RPF, the one thing I thought I'd never be okay with, but how can I resist when your stories are so enticing?????

(Oh, and speaking of RPF, I also love your characterization of Chad whenever you incorporate him in your stories. Every time I see him on screen I know it's going to be a good time :) It's kind of funny because I know virtually nothing about the actor in real life outside of his character from One Tree Hill, but from my limited knowledge it seems to me that a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, all the authors in the CW RPF fandom got together and unanimously decided to make him a secretly smart but also complete buffoon-headed slut (in the best way) and I just have to know how that all started. Do you have any insight?)

Okay, this message is getting seriously long and cheesy, so I'm going to wrap it up now before I start proposing (although if you're willing to join me in the land of maple syrup and hockey, I will happily get down on one knee with a ring pop), but I just really wanted to let you know how much your work means me to me and how much of an inspiration it's been. I hope to one day be capable of writing fanfic as incredible as you can, and that the depth of my love for the things I enjoy will shine through my writing in the same way yours does.

Thank you so much for always putting a smile on my face (or making me cry because the angst is just that good) and I wish you all the best in life, the universe, and everything ♡♡♡

Love,

IllusionalOptics

Oh my gosh this is so much love! Wow, thank you so much for this, you made my whole week!

Honestly, I can't believe I'm still here in SPN fandom. Back in the LJ days, usually when a show ended the fandom died shortly thereafter. And a show that went on as long as SPN did means a lot of people moved on to other fandoms anyway. So I'm thrilled to still be here, playing in this sandbox. No way I would have called that back in 2007 when I first fell into this fandom. And yes, I've seen a lot of vitriol over the years, some of it slung directly at me, though not in a long time. I'm here to have fun and enjoy fandom and I refuse to let anyone drive me away from it. No one gets to take away my joy.

I'm so honored and humbled that people are still finding and reading my stories to this day--especially newer fans! Thank you so much for your lovely, amazing, wonderful comments about my writing! It's funny because I usually start out with a simple idea for the plot and then it just becomes so incredibly complex and complicated lol For Retroactive, my current story, I knew the plot was going to be exceptionally complicated, and I don't know why my brain does this to me. It's like, hey you've written so many things, this time, let's make it EXTRA DIFFICULT! This story is by far the hardest one I've done yet. And I feel like I say that every time I write a new one, unless it's just a romance piece.

So happy that my Sam and Dean match your interpretation. Everyone (not just writers) kinda has their way of seeing the characters. I try to to stay true as I can to canon characterization, but there's always my personal filter on it that I can't separate out. So it makes me happy that it matches yours!

Hahaha. Okay, so you should probably love me for making you read RPF because some of it is just ASTOUNDINGLY good as they tend to be original stories with the actors playing the parts. But real talk, RPF was a big NO for me in the beginning, too--hell, Wincest was gigantic NO for me in the beginning lol, but I tried to draw a line at RPF. And after I wrote Like Staring Into the Sun I was in a chat with two friends who basically decided I was going to write this RPF story about a teacher Jensen and a student Jared. I resisted for like an hour or more. And eventually they convinced me. But Then My Homework Was Never Quite Like This was my first RPF fic. And I was just finally like, welp, I'm already shipping Wincest so here we go I guess lol So yeah, I hear you. I live my life mostly line free these days though. SPN fandom will do that to you.

Oh my god I love writing Chad. He's a bit different in every story I do but he retains some core characteristics. Ooooh, I get to impart some fandom elder knowledge lol So, back when I wrote the original Homework verse story, there was this tendency in fics to make Chad kinda dumb and/or gross and/or a dick. Often, he was a douchebag. He was funny, but a lot of times not in a GOOD way, I guess? So when I wrote the first Homework story (2008), I decided I wanted to make him smart, but in like, the most ridiculous roundabout way, so he'd still be funny. I can't say I started it, but I was definitely way ahead on the trend for smart Chad. Back in the day there was a lot of talk about him IRL being kind of a dick, a sleazebag and sleeping around, and though I don't remember if there was confirmation, a lot of people talked about him cheating on Sophia being the reason their marriage ended. I can't confirm any of that but I remember it was the talk at the time. So a lot of people took pieces from these things and ran with them and the fic version of Chad was created as kind of a dick and a douchebag and usually Jared's best friend (because of them living together IRL for a while) and the comic relief. It seems to have morphed some over time, which is good, because RL Chad seems to have grown up and to be a good person at this point in his life.

I wanted to talk about top Jensen and Top Dean, too, but this is getting so long lol Just know that back in 2008, 90% of fic was Top Jared and Top Sam, and my understanding is that that's now shifted and rebalanced the other way, to like 90% Top Jensen and Dean now. Although maybe it has shifted again in the last five years to be more balanced, Idk. I don't read fic like I used to.

Anyway, seriously, thank you SO SO SO SO MUCH for this. It means so much to me that you took the time to write all this out to me. Thank you for telling me all these things and for sending me so much love! Sending love right back at you! And feel free to ask me anything, any time! <3<3<3

[quickdeaths]

mun meme

𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐍!

★  NAME:  Bryn

★  PRONOUNS:  she/her.

★  BEST EXPERIENCE: Meeting my girlfriend through RP has to be at the top of the list, and meeting some really great friends too. Just talking about the IC stuff, idk, I'm pretty happy with how things have been going recently?

★  PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION: IMs are okay but discord is best! I am very chatty on discord sometimes, and the search function is really helpful for me when it comes to going back and finding old things. I'm also just on discord basically all day in some capacity, so I rarely miss things for long.

★  MOST ACTIVE MUSE: I can basically write any of my DR OCs at the drop of a hat, although Shinobu is the one who I am currently writing most, and have the easiest time writing because of that. I think for me, though, it's more "do I have energy/creativity to write right now at all" rather than if I have muse for a specific character or not - it's not usually the case that I struggle with a specific character at a time when I'm otherwise writing easily.

★  EXPERIENCE / HOW MANY YEARS: I started off on a forum in maybe 2006 or 2007, did some stuff on livejournal, had a cup of coffee at Gaia Online, and settled on Tumblr in maybe... 2012? 2013? I've done some things on discord (don't love it for RP) and google docs (it's okay) since then, and a handful of other places, but I think I'm just Here Now, like furniture.

★  RP PET PEEVES:  

I have talked about these all so many times so I'll try to keep it brief hahaha.

People who repeatedly drop threads without reaching out to say anything (this is my #1 pet peeve), and people who generally cycle "taking on too many asks/drafts, then dropping all of them, repeat."

People who habitually archive/delete and remake their blogs, especially if they don't make any changes to how they run things, who they interact with, etc. I see it as, like "bringing your bed to your new apartment and being confused as to why you still have bedbugs."

People who post tons of OOCs, as well as things like memes, starter calls, ship calls, etc. while having a massive backlog of drafts and inbox things already.

People who treat OCs/female characters/female OCs dismissively, or as stepping stone interactions.

★   PLOTS OR MEMES: Plots. I honestly don't like memes very much since I feel like they seldom lead to the kind of long-term interactions I like the most, but they're so entrenched on tumblr that I just kinda have to accept them. I would much rather talk to people and plot out loose thread ideas than send in a dialogue prompt from a movie I haven't seen and hope it gets answered and hope that that answer feels like something I can respond to and hope that my reply gets replied to and it's actually a thread. I like doing stuff that develops across multiple threads too, and plotting is much better for that.

★  ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S)?: Not really, I don't think. There are pieces of me in all of my characters, of course, and there are superficial similarities sometimes in terms of like, hobbies or interests, but I think the characters who feel like they got more of me mixed into them are like, D&D characters, or characters from my other blogs.

tagged by: @more-than-a-princess also tagging because tumblr is a functional website and perhaps putting things on a new line is the only fix: @timesunder @shishigirls @saburaito @sunbreathr

tagging: @lunaetis @guidedhearts @amaidol @infintasmal @corrpse also tagging myself since that seems to be the only way to not have it break someone else's tag very cool: @quickdeaths

[gatheringfiki]

PSA - GatheringFiki COMMUNITY?

Hello folks - I need your input!

Lookit that: Tumblr for once has come up with a feature that might actually be useful to us! (And only about 12 years too late or so!)

They are now introducing a concept of Communities! I haven't got a fainest about how it will work exactly, but my hopes are that it will be a bit like Livejournal or Dreamwidth: a more private space, geared more towards a more intimate and frequently-visiting audience, with more features for conversation, comments and generally interaction, but among friends. Also, with a separate feed from the Dashboard, to filter out random noise of things tagged incorrectly or posted by the people we follow but not actually relevant to our interests; a more focussed feed.

You can read more about this here.

So, this is an open question to you, the fandom:

Comments are also open, so please do voice any opinions in between those two binary options above, any concerns, any benefits you can see etc.

As far as I'm concerned, it's no bother for me to make one and give it a go, as I think it might give us an opportunity to make this space more personal and encourage little friendships etc. (again: better late than never). But I am also conscious that this is currently in beta, so will probably experience some bugs etc.

Some more screenshots under the cut: