#live a life he has never been able to experience

[prisonhannibal]

(art by @cockworkangels )

Help a father save his children from war 🇵🇸❤️

Ahed @ahedfamily is the father of three young girls, all under ten years old. The past year has been a nightmare, but his motivation to keep going is his girls. They’re the light of his life and he would do anything for them.

Prices for everything in gaza is going up, and Ahed isn’t able to pay for what he needs for his children anymore, and this causes him a lot of pain. The worst thing a father can experience is seeing his children suffer, and they are in danger every day from bombs, starvation, and infectious illness. Ahed’s family desperately need our help to live through this genocide, and to eventually evacuate when the borders open.

This fundraiser is moving very slowly, and sometimes there’s days between each donation 💔 They’re currently at €8,936 raised out of €40,000

If you have anything to give to help them, please do so. This father deserves to sleep peacefully at night knowing his children are fed and safe from harm ❤️ Fatima and Iman should be in school or playing with friends and Nour should experience safety, something she has almost never felt, since she was born only two months before the war 💔

Every donation counts to Ahed’s children’s survival

VETTED (#229)

@90-ghost @tamamita @rhubarbspring @heritageposts @dirhwangdaseul @anneemay @neechees @butchniqabi @socalgal @finalgirlabigailhobbs @darthteeth @newporters @pikslasrce @vampiricvenus @cuntylouis @loumandivorce @jackiedaytona @deepspaceboytoy @serial-unaliver @autisticmudkip @loveaankilaq @willgrahamscock @nashvillethotchicken @femmefitz @frigidwife

[mirrorcatcreditcard]

Take I haven't seen in the fandom yet:

Luka doesn't want to be freed.

"Now, MirrorCatCreditcard," you may say, "that's nonsense. Any human would want freedom from that system."

If you're thinking I'm gonna convince you that Luka doesn't know he wants freedom yet, you're wrong. I'm here to talk about indoctrination/conditioning, grooming/emotional manipulation, my own experience with those topics, and how all of the above connects with Luka as a character. If a deep dive like this is too much for you, please tap out for your own sake.

Luka's life was planned before he even existed. There has never ever been an alternative option. There is no life for Luka as anything but what Herperu chose. Everything in his life has been planned to have him be the perfect pet human idol. That is what he must be.

Fandom, I don't think most of you actually understand this and have dissected what this means (shout-out to the Luka stans who are getting there/have guessed similar things). These words we know have alternatives and are not set in stone are Luka's "gravity makes rain fall to the earth" and "water makes things wet." They are facts so deeply ingrained within him that even if shown the contrary he remarks that the person showing them is just disillusioned.

Take his commentary on Mizi and Hyun-A in the art book. He looks down on Mizi for not being able to control any of her emotions. How does he talk about Hyun-A? He has her at 70% affection yet shows a patronizing attitude—she's the one in denial at reality.

Now, how did we get here? How is a human so "delusional" and set in the control?

He's been conditioned.

Some of you don't know what I mean by this from experience and/or research, and count yourself fortunate that you don't. I pray you never experience such things firsthand. Don't worry about ignorance. Familiar or not, I will explain.

When you are surrounded by only one truth and reality, that is the way you interpret life. If a parent tells a child "the moon goes to sleep during the day," until the child learns otherwise, that's what they believe. Now take that child-like belief and add some toxic environments to the mix. With time, any other kid would learn that the earth rotates from their peers or adults around them. But if the creatures around them all say and believe the same thing "the moon goes to sleep during the day," then that is what the child continues to believe. Years of that same thing being the only truth make that false knowledge into a fact in the person's head, and everything that supports that fact is taken as truth or on the right path to truth.

"This is kinda silly though," you guys are no doubt murmuring, "All of this is a hypothetical. Give us something that makes sense or that someone could actually see happen in our society."

I'll give you my own experience then. My parents taught me that God is real. My parents taught me that I will be damned I do not follow the commandments of the scriptures. I didn't need to worry though. As long as I was obedient to the God who loved me and wanted what was best, I would be saved despite being born an awful sinful human. I was homeschooled, only interacted with people of similar beliefs, and taught that people too different from me in ideology or with radical beliefs against my own were trying to harm me and my family. I believed the people who raised me because why would people who love me lie to me? My task was simple. I needed to obey God and love everyone, especially them. Love meant giving up my entire being and living only as servant and sacrifice. After all, being selfless to the utmost was the greatest form of love.

Let's go back to Luka. His guardian, Herperu, when questioned about any surprises while training Luka, stated not only that he was the one who endured the "tough moments" but also that "(Luka) owes his success to me, and naturally, he should be grateful." This sentiment is echoed by Luka in his interview (shown on Patreon). My god, it's giving parents with disabled kids who brag on social media about how much trouble their kid is and how much they do for them. Sickening. This shows exactly what environment Luka has lived in though.

When you are manipulated into having something as your reality, everything else is fiction and delusion.

Let's review what exactly is Luka's reality.

Heperu is the one suffering if Luka has any difficulties being obedient.

Gratitude is what Herperu is owed because he goes through so much trouble to make Luka a star.

Love/care is shown by owning another's autonomy.

Emotions and bodily reactions exist, sure, but someone should be able to control them; and if they can't, someone should control those reactions for them.

Segyein are superior and the good ones for dealing with humans. Humans must be disciplined and shaped to how an segyein wants it to act to be considered deserving of this goodness.

(Luka)'s perfection is defined by his guardian.

Luka's life is directly connected to being the perfect performer. His guardian praises his abilities with the statement that no other pet human will ever be as perfect as him yet leaves an underlying threat saying that it will be no good if a pet is not trained properly. This has probably been mentally (if not physically) beaten into Luka's mind: his greatness doesn't stop him from being able to be disposed of. The human instinct to want to live has been explained to him as Heperu's wish for him to live and that has been further distorted as a duty to live for the stage he has been placed on.

Luka believes fully that there is a debt in play here. In his interview, he mentions repaying love. He thinks the relationship between fan and idol is completely normal, encouraged, and healthy. Performance is the most important thing. Being where he is is a privilege.

There's a chain here:

Heperu indoctrinated Luka into believing what he says is all true.

The guardian manipulated him easily to do what he wanted with his body and mind.

The years have been spent constantly conditioning Luka to be the god who encapsulated fantasies for the audience.

He is continually being groomed to exist for the entertainment and enjoyment of segyein.

Circle back to my first point of this post. Luka does not want to be freed. He doesn't know what freedom actually is. He sees freedom as either foolish denials of reality (and doesn't consider that actual freedom) or as controlling the song and stage when he performs (something he learned from Hyuna). He cannot want something he cannot understand. He cannot want freedom in the sense the fandom keeps speaking about.

It's funny. From the moment Luka was revealed to be hated by the fandom, I wanted to know why. Instead of digging and finding horrific deeds, I instead found a character who portrayed my own traumas and experiences. I instantly attached and delved deeply into learning about this thirty year old singer. Why does he express himself in a certain way? Where do we first see mention of him? Who does he have emotions towards? How was he trained? What makes Luka himself? I have past essays/replies to other's theories if you're interested, but in this one I got personal and didn't sugarcoat the facts. If the fandom can't handle deep thought, we shouldn't be discussing this incredibly profound and depth-filled web series.

As always, thank you for your time, and I hope my thoughts allowed you to open your mind to new things. Mostly, I hope you enjoyed them 🫶

[bearforcecaptions]

The spell worked, sort of, but not how I wanted. I did have the body of my dreams – I was Garrett now, but I didn’t realize the catch was that I wouldn’t be able to control what I’m doing unless I’m totally alone. And Garrett, or, me, I guess – I’m nearly never alone! The frat house pretty much always has someone in it, and I’m super popular, too. I thought being Garrett would be fun and easy, but stuck like this, it’s torture!

I figured out the ritual from this old book I found at that occult shop downtown, thinking it would be a quick way out of my boring life and into something… well, something way more interesting. Garrett had it all, or so I thought. Girls loved him, he was in the best shape, and everyone wanted to be his friend. But nobody told me about this weird restriction, or maybe I just didn’t read that part carefully enough. I guess the idea was I’d “experience” Garrett’s life, but it’s like watching a movie, except I’m the star and I can only move on my own terms when no one else is around.

And god, my roommate, he’s actually so stupid. When I can’t control my actions, we bro out all the time, but he’s so vapid. I guess I’m not much better, but it’s actually infuriating. You’d think we could have a conversation that’s not about girls, parties, sports, or video games. But no, every time he starts talking, it’s like Garrett’s body just falls right into the rhythm of it, responding automatically. I tried fighting it at first, but it’s like this autopilot takes over, and I’m just... stuck.

I’ve been scouring the room whenever I get a chance to control things, like right now, looking for any sign or clue on how to undo this. There has to be something I missed. I rummaged through his messy closet, which is packed with clothes, gym stuff, and random junk, none of it useful. The guy keeps his stuff in total chaos, and I feel weirdly exposed, like I’m actually pawing through my own things.

Shit, no, is that the door jangling? I thought I would have a couple of hours to try and figure out how to fix this. Who the hell knows when I’ll get another chan-

Fuuck, bro. Why’s my roomie home early? Thought he went to his ‘rents for the weekend. I was just about to jerk one out too. Ah well, maybe he’ll be down for some Call of Duty or something. I could use a beer.

“Yo, dude, what’s up? You back already?” I say, grinning like an idiot as I lean against the door frame, flexing a bit without even realizing it. Dude probably thinks I’m just chillin’, but nah, I’m feelin' like a boss.

He laughs, dropping his bag by the door and shrugging. “Yeah, man, got bored at home. Figured I’d head back early. Parents were driving me nuts.”

“Oh, for sure, dude,” I nod, grabbing a can of beer from the mini-fridge by my bed. “Parents, am I right? They just don’t get it, bro.” I crack it open, chugging half of it in one go, feeling the cool rush. Damn, that’s good.

He slaps my shoulder, laughing. “Dude, I swear, it’s like every time I go back, it’s the same speech about responsibility and blah blah blah. Like, whatever, right?”

“Oh, totally, man,” I laugh, shrugging it off. “Why they gotta be like that, y’know? We’re just out here living, they don’t get it.” I toss him a beer, feeling that chill vibe kickin’ in, like nothing in the world matters but just hanging with my bro. This is what it’s all about – no worries, no drama, just cold beers and good times.

“Bro, I’m feelin’ a COD sesh,” I say, grabbing the controller off the couch. “You down?”

He grins. “Hell yeah, let’s wreck some noobs.”

We crash down on the couch, controllers in hand, beers in easy reach, and it’s like all the worries in the world just melt away. I’m trash-talkin’, throwin’ down taunts, and we’re both laughing so hard my sides hurt. I don’t even remember the last time I felt this alive.

“You’re so bad, dude,” I laugh, jabbing him in the ribs as I get another kill. “How are you still this bad?”

“Shut up, bro!” he shoves me back, laughing too, and I’m grinning like an idiot.

Fuck, life is good, I think, as I take a gulp of my beer. I got my bros, I got my beer, and I got my games. What more does a dude need? Life’s good.

[fandom-puzzle-peaces]

Just a Thought About Cale Part 2

It hath been requested, so here is a sort of continuation from my last post. Today I am gonna talk more about what I believe Cale embodies:

HOPE & LOVE

In my first post I already talked about hope a bit, and ya’ll can read that if you want my full take on this, but I will continue where I left off. Last time, I mentioned that something was missing when I listed out what it is exactly that Cale hopes to have in his “slacker life.” Said list is:

A nice house

A peaceful place to have said house in

A ton of money

After looking at this you may be wondering what is missing, since it looks like everything Cale has stated time again to want is already there. However, we all know how unreliable of a narrator he is and that he never actually fully says what he wants unless it’s money. What is missing is his hope of having a family living there with him in that nice peaceful house.

It’s so obvious that he misses having others around him, regardless of how many times he denies it. He’s just scared of losing them again, and for a time I do genuinely believe he had given up on that hope of having loved ones. But over the course of his new life as Cale Henituse you can slowly but surely see that hope being rekindled. It also helps when he learns that the “curse” that was accidentally placed on him due to white star shenanigans is now gone.

So now he actually has a chance to be able to keep his new family around, and you better believe he will do anything in his power to do so. We have already seen plenty of his self-sacrificial stunts to know this fact already. Cale’s list of hopes, of course, has continued to grow from just those beginning 3 that encompass his “slacker life,” and most likely will as time goes on to most likely include the simpler pleasures of life he can indulge in with his family.

A true family man I would say!

Now, regardless of how many hopes he has (or how small they may seem), Cale is someone who is full of hope and in turn fills others with it as well. So where does Love fit into our beloved idiot you may ask? Look at all of the people he has surrounded himself with and how he interacts with them. He may say he's "trashy" and a "bad person," but we all know he isn't with how he acts. Cale is highly perceptive of his family’s condition, their wants and needs. He goes out of his way, all the time, to make them happy:

He gives the children sweets and cuddles all the time

He gave Raon his name

He gives Rosalyn whatever she needs for her research and is helping her become the Magic Tower Master

He visits Alberu all the time and just hangs out, which must be such a relief to shed the royal persona (even if Cale does steal his cookies)

He lets Ron mess with him even though he hates it and helps him take back his ancestral home

Always eats everything Beacrox gives him and compliments it (probably also gives him new kitchen tools and ingredients to mess with as well)

He gave Eruhaben a reason to live longer and extended the dragon’s lifespan—and went through one hell of trial to do it—so he could do so (said reason being to live with them for as long as possible)

He gave Mary the world to experience and explore to her heart's content

Took in Lock and his siblings and just lets them be kids, albeit very violent ones

He got Choi Han a new sword (which he treasures), as well as a new home and family (which he treasures even more)

That's not even counting all he does for the others and his allies. But most of all, Cale protects them:

He never puts the kids in a situation where they can be hurt

Even when one of them was in harm’s way (Raon), he bodily shielded them not once but twice

He carried Rosalyn (with his weak noodle arms) when she couldn't stand out of harm’s way

He keeps Alberu's heritage a secret and helps him politically

He literally blew up an island for Ron

I don't think he's had a big moment for Beacrox yet, but he has saved him from the fate of living in a world without his father

Has shielded Eruhaben before from the White Star

Like the kids, Mary is almost always out of harm's way and he also protects her politically

Has shielded Lock during the Battle at the Gorge of Death

He protected Choi Han from completely losing it, as the biggest danger to Choi Han is Choi Han himself

Cale loves his newfound family so much he speedran the war with White Star in UNDER A YEAR!! And that's just for his family! You cannot tell me he hasn't also fallen in love with his new (well what was supposed to be his really) home world. He is literally tracking down and annihilating the Hunters who are in other worlds because they keep going after his in part 2. Don't tell me that isn't love! It also doesn't help that, no matter how much he denies it, Cale gets attached fairly easily. He wants people around him to love who love him in return.

GIVE THIS MAN SOME HUGS!

Anyways, I think I have rambled long enough. Hope ya’ll enjoyed this!

Brief interest check: how would ya’ll feel if I posted some creative prompts for writing, drawing, etc.? Lemme know however you want.

@elaemae hope you liked it!

[lavender-butterfly-cookie]

https://www.tumblr.com/lavender-butterfly-cookie/767407222529671168/shadow-of-wrath-beast-yn-cookie?source=share

Had an idea based off this...imagine if, instead, y/n blamed themselves for not being able to save the beasts and basically became a shell of their former self...depressed, staying at home, just laying around, crying, self isolating and stuff...and the moment the beasts pull up and blame y/n, they quickly discovered they just made it 50x worse so they gotta calm y/n down and drag em out of their depression...and to get back the y/n they once knew and loved.

Bonus: also it becomes a journey of self discovery for the beasts too as they slowly try to build their poly back up and adapt to their new selves as they try to get y/n over the traumatic experience of being forced to banish them...and the beasts showing y/n...it's not their fault.

Finally quitting the blame game

Y/N cookie, despite knowing it was for the greater good, still hadn't forgiven themselves for having their friends sealed away. They could've done more, in their perspective, to find a better solution. They still have dreams of how that day could've gone. Although they can't see how they'd do it, they could see a better result. A result that they failed to achieve. And it was all their fault.

What made it worse was when they came face to face with the beasts once again. They could see and feel the anger and hurt of their fallen allies and the fact that they too blamed Y/N cookie for this was enough to push them over the edge. In the heat of the moment, they fell to their knees, repeating how it was their fault. This was unexpected, to put it in simpler terms. The beasts didn't realized their words would have this effect, but they knew they didn't like it.

In reality, they knew it was their own fault for what happened, even if they'd never admit it aloud. But the fact that Y/N cookie was taking all the blame. The scene caused the beasts to feel something they hadn't felt in a long time. Guilt. With that said, they wanted to reassure them that it wasn't their fault. Even if they were still bitter about the betrayal, they didn't want to hurt Y/N cookie.

Bear in mind, when a cookie has fallen into a deep stage of depression and believe their at fault for everything, it's hard to convince them otherwise. Especially when they had lived with that mind set for centuries. All the beasts had trouble comforting and reassuring Y/N cookie. Sometimes it felt like they were talking to a wall.

Shadow Milk cookie tried explaining why it wasn't your fault. He'd sit on the edge of your bed whilst you lay there crying and hugging the pillow to your chest. He'd make little puppet shows emphasizing that you weren't to blame for what happened. You convinced yourself that he was deceiving you, that he didn't mean any of it and that he was just playing tricks on your heart. But he swears of his life he's telling you the truth. He's a liar, yes, but do you really believe he'd lie to you of all cookies?

Mystic Flour cookie also offered a lot of therapeutic assistance when she took you to the ivory pagoda. She talks about how she and the other beasts views had changed overtime and that although they were still upset you had them sealed away, they knew you were only trying to do the right thing. Even if she doesn't see what the right thing to you is. Cloud hatae and Peach Blossom cookie also helped in calming you down when you seem to overwhelm yourself by blaming yourself. If you had been any other cookie, she'd be so apathetic and simply solve the issue by turning you to flour. But she'd never. Not to you.

Saying that comforting others was not Burning Spice cookies cup of tea was an understatement. Can't you just get it together or something? Well apparently you can't. And the spice tribe leaders aren't exactly good at it either. With little to no options he turned to Golden Cheese cookie, who advised him to leave you in the care of the Kulfi monkeys. At least they'd have some kind of use now, he thought. Guess he was lucky he didn't go after them to crumble them. The kulfi's were all pretty good at providing comfort to you too, even giving you some lassi. When you witness destruction growing in your heart, the kulfi's will be there to make sure you don't fall apart.

Unlike the great destroyer, Comfort was Eternal Sugar cookie's middle name! She'd cuddle you, have servants serve you, shower you with love and attention, just be there for you. She wanted to make sure you knew that she didn't really blame you and that it truly wasn't your fault. What you did hurt, yes, but that was all in the past and you did it for the greater good. She'd give you all sorts of treats and gifts. She was like Golden Cheese cookie, but pink and fluffy. And when all was quiet in the night she'd take you for a flight around, hoping the cold air and quiet atmosphere would provide a sense of security. She may be a sloth at times, but for you she's putting in the effort.

Silent Salt cookie had experienced a pretty hard time comforting you. Mainly because he couldn't use his words. Regardless of that, he found his ways. Sometimes you can find the most peace in the silence after all. A good nighttime walk in the forest was nice, and so was star gazing. One thing he wasn't gonna allow was you trying to crumble yourself from the depression. He's stopped you a couple of times.

The beasts want to help you. but there's one thing that they know would help you that they refuse to do. They need to apologize. And frankly, none of them are quite ready for that just yet.

[gojoswhitebabydolllashes]

Omg I heard you were asking for Act 3 requests? Maybe something angsty, the reader and Viktor are in an established relationship, and it could be related to his lack of humanity, their paths splitting, or even his death if you're able to work that out. Basically, sad. Thank you

I cried just thinking about this😭😭

---Falling from grace was okay with you---

It's cold in piltover. Perhaps for all of the month, it had been cold, and it was only getting colder. Viktor was sat by his desk, his bony, mechanical body encased by his navy robe. For what seemed like the greater part of the night, viktor was stuck in his project, never moving or willing to look anywhere that wasn't his gadget.

And for this, you felt tonight was the coldest night of the year.

It was well past midnight when viktor came to you in your quarters. He was tired, body lean, and drooping as he held his elegant cane against himself. Lie strewn across the bed as you had been, waiting for him to return, You watched him as he sorted out a small satchel he brought with him.

"Hello, my love," Viktor kissed your head.

"I missed you vik, you were gone so long"

You spoke as you picked at your nails. There wasn't anything unusual about viktor coming back to you in the late hours of the night. Sometimes, he doesn't come back at all.

There is nothing quite as painful as watching your lover become a stranger. You feel as though this is the first time you've ever seen him since your wedding. 2 years ago. Viktor is sitting on the small chair at the end of your bed as he takes off his dark robe.

"I had a late night. I apologize if I worried you"

"It's not the first time you have. You should stop staying so late, baby. It's not good for you"

Viktor grunted. "How do you know what's good for me?" His tone was sharp and harsh, but quick, like he had been waiting to say it.

Your eyes narrowed, and your mouth pursed. A worried glint went bright in your eyes as you caught viktors Amber hue in your gaze. There's something inside his dilated pupil that haunts you and eats you from the inside out all within one glance.

His eyes have grown so dark, like burnt chocolate. He himself has grown so dark. And almost alien like, you almost don't recognise him and you wouldn't know it was him if you didn't see his freckle.

"What happened to you, viktor?" Your brows arched upwards. Your face spoke volumes, and viktor knew he couldn't get out of this again.

He liked to avoid arguing. It was his ignorance and arrogance that led to his undoing. Viktor was the love of your life, but watching as he, time and time again, ignored the issues that were arising within your relationship.

"I can't keep doing this viktor I can't." Tears welled in your eyes as you stared at him.

His Amber eyes like a desert, barren and dry, and with little to no sense of water outside of the tears that threatened to drip from the ducts.

"I don't know what you want from me." viktor looked at the floor.

He always looks at the floor.

"I want my husband back. I can't keep watching you deteriorate and not do anything about it"

Viktor weakly banged his mechanical, purple fist against the bedpost, shaking it slightly. Your lips parted, and your eyes tried their hardest to soften.

"I am not sick." Viktor sneered. "I am an amalgamation of all that is me. I never wanted my human body"

You tilted your head as you sat up, your hand reached for his, and for the first time in a long time, there was magic that wasn't just a blue crystal.

"Being human isn't just being sick. It's being able to feel every emotion. Small or big, whether you stub your toe or go sky diving, it's all about the experience" you smiled at him.

Your face was hopeful that viktor would understand. But his own said otherwise, he seemed almost monster like with his deep purple eye bags and his darkening eyes. His cheekbones are more defined and more prominent than ever. His hair is longer and messier.

"Outside of you, I have nothing to live for." His lips curled down into a pained frown.

Nothing? What about jayce? And hextech? And a future where piltover and zaun exist peacefully? What about the children you could have and how you will grow old together?

"You have everything to live for"

"I HAVE NOTHING!" Viktor exclaimed, his voice hoarse and raspy. Almost alienlike

Your poor boy was so tired. He was so very tired.

"If you do not want to keep living like this. Just say it. Say it, and I'll leave." Viktor spoke gently.

"Leave? N-no I don't want you to leave?!"

Your mind raced a million miles an hour. Your eyes darting around, panicking. "I want you to stay, so that w-we can fi-fix this"

Viktor shunned his head away and shook it. You could see in his face, even now, that he has so much on his mind and he doesn't know what to do with it.

"We are beyond fixing, my love. Our paths are long diverged, and it was simply our souls that have kept us together. " viktor stood up straight and leant on his decorated cane.

"N-no," you shook your head.

Standing up in front of viktor, your eyes pleaded with his own. There was no longer the curious and hopeful sparkle in his golden brown eyes, but now a river of tar and mahogany.

"Is it better for us to die together?" You asked.

"We died long ago. I will not die with you again. You need to let me go. You do not want this with me"

"I want everything with you -"

Viktor put his cold metal hand on your tear stained face. His thumb stroked your cheek gently.

"Do not cry, love"

"Viktor..."

You spoke featherlight, barely audible.

"Goodbye, my love. I hope that there is a world where I did not turn my back to you"

[twopoppies]

May I share some grieving thoughts from someone who has walked this road too many times for folks who may not have been through this before?

It is okay to feel how you feel, and there is no rhyme or reason to it. Your feelings are valid for you, and may not match what others are going through at the same time or at all, and it is okay. The only way out is through. Sometimes all you can do is the next right thing. And that is enough.

It is okay to box those feelings up for short periods of relief: just don’t leave them shoved away permanently. The only way out is through. But taking a time out is okay.

The loss and pain of the moment does not taint the past, in the long term. It may feel like it, but time and perspective will remind you what a gift the journey before was. That joy, love, growth while the person was alive is still valid and important and shaped who you are today. It is okay to celebrate that. It is okay if it is bittersweet. We honor the person by keeping that journey intact. They impacted us, and that is an important thing to honor in their story. Watch the videos. Replay the conversations. Celebrate what was. Don’t give death the power to ruin their positive impact on you.

Just like their absence hurts you, if you fall into being absent in your life because of the pain, you are causing your loved ones that same pain. Choose to honor the deceased’s life by loving yours fully, by being that light you are missing for the people in your life like the deceased was for you. I try to be thankful for the things I get to experience, even without them, because I am going to experience the hell out of them and then someday tell him about all the stuff he missed out on. Even though I believe he is here and sees.

Don’t perpetuate the pain, or initiate a legacy of withdrawal. Pick an honoring activity - for me it is tipping outrageously in their memory and finding joy in the joy they would have found in it. Make it something they championed, or took quiet pleasure in. Keep it to yourself, something between you and their memory. Walk a shelter dog and chat with your person, hide hug rocks, donate read books to the library, serve in a food center. Whatever makes you recall the bond you felt. And love people, for you and for them. The best legacy is one of love and joy, not sorrow and hurt.

Of course, it will be up and down. It strive for the up. Time does heal, and it DOES get better. Don’t let the negative win. Don’t let rot taint their life. OneDirection will never be the same. But it still meant a lot, and that should be honored. It can still mean a lot going forward, and that is honoring.

It has been 5 years since my last big loss. It catches me by surprise sometimes still. But their story is done, and mine goes on: I still reach for the joy I had in getting to be a part of their story. I refuse to lose that too. Because people are involved in my story now. I am still a part of theirs. And I don’t want them to have this hurt of me dropping out of my story: And I let him live on in my adventures, my good work with disadvantaged people, and my love for the people and world I am in. That is the only thing I can still give them, and with time, I am able to do that more and more.

It hurts. It hurts so much. It feels like I can’t breathe, like it overwhelms everything I do, and like I just want to hug his momma so much it causes me physical pain. But each day, it will get a little better. It will blindside you, may catch you by surprise, and that is okay. Because estoy know it won’t be like this forever.

Anyway. I thought grief was a straight line process, and if I power through the stages, it would be done with. That I was betraying their memories by laughing, finding joy, continuing my story. I hope this helps anyone feeling unsure or overwhelmed or lost or guilty.

Thank you for all of this, darling. I'm so sorry you have so much experience with grieving. But your insight is so helpful. ❤️

[everyones-least-favorite-bard]

“I am envy...

I cannot read, and therefore wish all books were burnt...”

[binders-and-beanies]

I hate rich people and no I’m not just talking about billionaires

[dazais-guardian-angel]

went to my first con in 4 years on Friday to meet Kaiji Tang and got a Dazai autograph + video recording of him reading to me. He was the sweetest person (as I knew he would be) and interacting with him was lovely, but also at the same time oh boy it sure was an extremely stressful, ugly wake-up call of what it feels like to live in a world now where everyone around you has blissfully moved on from covid and can enjoy things normally and happily, while you'll forever be trapped in a hellscape of perpetual fear 🫠🫠🫠

[youngpettyqueen]

de-aging isnt a trope ive watched a lot of and its not one I particularly seek out in fic where I know its more popular (ive read a few for TMA when I was fixated on that) but TNG's 'Rascals' episode is a fascinating exploration of the concept

[moonlit-void-to-the-far-unknown]

“I hate how they regressed Daniel after Armand turned him. Hes just so immature now”

My dudes,

If suddenly I wasn’t living with a sickness that slowly deteriorates my motor functions until I die, and I was able to feel like I did when I was a drugged up 20 year old with no worries of chronic illness hitting me again, you bet your sweet ass I would have zero fucks, I would be telling everyone to suck my dick and wear cool jackets and sunglasses.

Oh no one can touch me because my maker is a 514 year old ancient vampire who has never made any other fledglings?

I can see better than I ever have? Move like the wind? Have no pain? Have no fear of dying? Suddenly my hands don’t shake and my body isn’t in pain?

Oh everyone can suck my dick. Everyone can fuck off. I’m gonna wear my fuck you leather jacket like I did at 20 when I was a counter culture upstart journalist, I’m gonna be a cocky shit head again because guess what? I don’t have pain in my back and body, I don’t shake, I have no issues with my motor skills suddenly failing me.

I’m basically 20 years old again. I’m gonna be such a menace for at least a few years.

Ya’ll act like Louis would have been any better if Lestat wasn’t there to help rein him in.

Or Lestat? Bro broke the vampire laws the second he was turned.

Armand I’m gonna assume was no better then his fledgling is.

Let’s not forget Claudia as a fledgling? Baby girl her first hunt took down like 2 whole police officers.

Let my old man have his wild fledgling years! Let him stalk random men to drain, let him experience being young again. This is like being 18 in college. His first few years of vampire life should be wildly immature and stupid.

Because finally, his body isnt hurting. His brain isn’t deteriorating his motor functions. He can actually do things he used to.

LET MY BABY GIRL BE A MESSY BITCH OF A FLEDGLING. Why?

BECAUSE HE FUCKING DESERVES IT.

Look at this man. Pure cunty ass sass coming off him in waves. As he should be allowed, being in his fledgling prime years.

[alexiroflife]

"first day"

fluff, happy fushiguro family, slice of life, megs' first day of school send-off

Synopsis: you've been dating toji for a while now and megumi subconsciously calls you mom for the first time on his way out the door

to sum it up: you adore the little family you've come to be a part of

WC: 1,701

Warning(s): none

"Megs!" you call out, standing by the front door awaiting the dark-haired boy's arrival. He soon shuffles around the corner from his room, throwing a bag over his shoulder with a tired expression on his face.

His father turns to watch him walk in, crossing his arms as he leans against the counter. "The hell were you doing in there that took you so long?"

"Nothing," Megumi grumbles, moving to brush past the two of you to rush to the door. "I just wanted to look presentable, that's all."

"So you took thirty minutes to get ready?" Toji quirks a brow.

"Believe it or not, dad, some would say that's not enough time to get ready in the morning."

"Not at all, actually," you agree.

Toji tugs the corner of his mouth in judgment. " Well, you should know," he says to you. "You spend at least ten years in the bathroom when we have somewhere to go."

You scoff, rolling your eyes. "That's such an overreaction. I never take any longer than an hour." Megumi and his father exchange knowing looks and you place your hand on your hip. "What?"

"Don't worry baby," Toji assures you. "It's okay to be in denial."

"We've timed it before. The last time we all went out to dinner as a family, you took two and a half hours to get dressed," Megumi adds.

"That's only because I had to shower and pick out an outfit then do my hair and makeup," you defend.

"Isn't that a little overkill? It takes me half that time to shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, and get some homework done."

"Whatever. Your sister would understand," you sigh.

"Unfortunately, she may be worse than you."

"Women," Toji tsks. You slap his bicep and he pretends to flinch, smirking down at you playfully. "Ouch."

"Alright, well, I'm ready now. I don't wanna be late," the sixteen year old says, turning back to reach for the door handle.

"Ah ah ah, wait!" you stop him. "You're not going anywhere without me getting a good look at you. Turn around, I wanna see how the uniform fits."

Megumi lowers his head and complies, turning back around stiffly for you to admire him. You press your hand to your lips to conceal your smile, eyes gleaming with pride as you look over the sharp navy jacket and pants he adorns.

"Awwww," you coo. "It fits perfectly! How does it feel?"

"Pretty good," Megumi nods, moving his arm around slightly to show his mobility in the fabric. "It's comfortable too. It shouldn't be a problem during missions."

"I still can't believe how quickly time has gone by," you muse. "You're already going into your first year at Jujutsu High! Are you excited?"

"You better be," Toji grunts. "Your uncle Gojo hasn't gotten off my ass about your enrollment for years. At least now, he'll finally shut up."

"I still don't understand why I have to have him as a teacher. He's such a moron, I doubt he'll teach us anything useful," Megumi mumbles.

"Moron or not, he's the strongest sorcerer of the modern age and he's helped out so much. I'm sure he'll be able to give you a good experience," you say positively.

"We talkin' about the same Gojo here? The one who trashed my house playing tag with Megumi and the dogs in the living room?" Toji points out and his son grits his teeth at the memory.

"Oh come on, Satoru was like twenty one back then. I can only imagine the crazy shit you've with the kids when you were raising them," you tease.

"You don't even want to know," Megumi exhales.

"Please, you came out just fine, didn’t ya?” Toji says, reaching out his hand to ruffle at Megumi's spiky hair. The teen recoils, craning his head away and shielding himself with his arm.

"Quit it. I'm not five anymore."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're all grown up now, I know. Gonna be a first-grade sorcerer before I can even blink an eye."

"Who said that I would be first grade? I'm only a first year."

"Yeah, and look at who your pops is," Toji grins. "Plus, you got an advantage that I never had. You'll do just fine."

Megumi hums indifferently, doubting himself momentarily but accepting the words nonetheless. "Alright, are we ready?"

"No, not yet!" you pull out your phone quickly and open the camera. "I need to get pictures."

The blue-eyed boy slumps. "(Y/n), I gotta go."

"I know, I know, just a few," you promise, holding your camera up to capture his awkward figure in the frame. "Okay, smile."

Megumi doesn't, and of course you don't actually expect him to. Instead, he calmly stares at the camera with his arms at his sides, unsure of what to do with themselves. Toji moves to stand behind you, leaning down to take a peak at the million pictures you're snapping.

"Toji, go stand with him so I can get one with the both of you."

The two groan simultaneously. "Doll, can we just focus on gettin' the kid to school?"

"It's fine. His stuff is already moved into his dorm. We have time."

"But-"

"Shut up and go stand with your son, now," you glare firmly up at the green-eyed man and he huffs.

"Yes, ma'am."

Toji raises a hand to his hip and tilts his head boredly as he stands beside Megumi, the two of them sharing the exact same blank stare as they look into the camera. You squeal happily. "You two are so cuteee!"

"We done, now?"

"No, I wanna get one more with Megs, and then I'm good." The boys give you a look, but you wave them off. "I mean it! Gosh, here Toji. Take our picture."

Toji obliges, grabbing your phone from your hand as you rush over to the tall boy. His expression melts into serenity as you place your hands on his shoulders and lean your head against his arm, smiling widely at the camera as a hint of a smile touches Megumi's lips.

Toji's heart warms at the sight, watching the way his son grows comfortable in your presence. The picture of the two of you looks so natural t to him like you are meant to be a part of his family, which he knows you are.

He snaps the photo and nods. "Got it."

You exhale, turning to face Megumi. You brush your hands over his shoulders to straighten his jacket, ridding it of any lint and wrinkles. "Okay, Megumi, please remember to be safe."

"I know. I will," he nods.

"And don't be too reckless when it comes to training."

"I won't."

"And try to make friends. I know how easy it is for you to push others away."

"I'll try."

You press your lips together with a final sigh, looking over Megumi's face warmly. You wrap your arms safely around him into a hug, your emotions getting the best of you. You have spent the past year caring for Megumi like your own, and watching him head off to achieve his goals makes your heart swell with joy and fear all the same.

"Text me or your father or Tsumiki if you need anything. Anything at all," you tell him. He returns your hug gently.

"Okay," he chuckles lightly and you pull away. "Don't worry, I'll be fine."

"...I know you will..." you pout. "Okay, I'll let you go. Good luck. I hope you have an amazing first day. I'll see you at the end of the week, yeah?"

"Mhm. I'll call you to let you know how the day went later."

"Please do."

Toji hands you back your phone and walks toward the door with Megumi. "Let's get a move on," he says. He leans over quickly to peck your lips farewell. "I'll be back in a few."

"Don't speed, Toji."

"Speeding gets you places quicker," he winks and you suck your teeth disapprovingly. Megumi opens the door, his dad gripping the frame.

"Bye, boys. Stay out of trouble," you wave, eyes glassy as you watch Megumi walk out.

"See ya, doll."

"Bye, mum."

The three of you freeze the second the words hit the air, everyone stilling in their tracks.

You feel your heart burst as overwhelming happiness consumes you. Megumi keeps his face forward, hiding his reddening cheeks as he processes what he has just said. Toji stares at the back of his son's head, eyes wide, before he turns to look at you to find your shocked, giddy face.

You don't have any time to reply when Megumi clears his throat suddenly, sweat dotting his forehead, and he walks rigidly out of the house and swiftly down the hall without looking back.

Toji stays behind, keeping an eye on you when you look up at him, stunned. "Did he just...?" you murmur.

"Yep."

Your eyes immediately well with tears and your lips wobble, your hands flying over your mouth. "He sees me as his mom?" you whisper.

Toji chuckles, ducking down to you with his hand still gripping the door. "Of course he does. He's always adored you. Him and Tsumiki."

"I'm gonna cry."

The assassin chuckles softly, pressing his thumb to the corner of your eye gently. "You're already cryin.'"

"Shut up," you sniff. "God, I love those kids so much. I just wanna give him all the hugs in the world."

"And you'll be able to. There isn't a better woman on this planet to be there for the kids," he kisses your cheek. "That's why I plan t'marry you someday."

"Fuck you, Toj. You're gonna make me cry even more."

"Sorry, baby. Can't help talkin' about it," he leans back to the doorway. "Let me get the kid squared away and make sure he's not dyin' of embarrassment, then I'll be back to talk to ya about makin' this official."

"You're being for real?"

"Of course I am."

You lower your hands and beam. "Tell Megumi I love him and get back here soon."

"I will," he hums. "But I thought you said no speeding?"

"Just- make sure the two of you at least get to the school in one peace."

He smirks. "Will do, doll."

[giantkillerjack]

This is the kind of shitty trope that can only be worth anything but a purposeful and mindful inversion of the trope, which not everyone can pull off well, though I believe it is possible.

Another separate example of a shitty harmful trope that only truly becomes worth anything when it is inverted is the trope of "a timeskip has happened, and now to show that the character has turned into a pathetic disgusting loser, they have become FAT." -- This is my least favorite trope of all time, and it genuinely makes me lose some of my will to live.

But the inversion of that trope is like the end of the novel series my wife is writing, in which there is a timeskip and the main character is now chubby -- and this is framed as a clear sign of healing and growth for this character who has been underweight and malnourished for 3 books up til now!! -- As a fat person trying to recover from an eating disorder, this makes me feel seen and happy and loved! (I LOVE MY WIFE.)

Similarly, with the "disability reveal illiciting fear and pity" thing, it's like @cripplecharacters said: the issue is the fear and pity, especially when framed as an obvious and natural reaction from neutral or good characters.

And now before I list some ideas for inverting the trope, I wanna give the caveat that if you are not representing a disability that you have, you should first and foremost ask yourself why you want a remarkable reveal of the character's disability in the story in the first place:

-- What function does it serve? What feeling is it meant to evoke from the audience? (Fear, pity, shock, or disgust = bad answers.) Is this a matter of making disability a spectacle[bad]? Is this a matter of body horror[very bad in relation to disability]?? or is it a genuine educated attempt to represent someone from a community you aren't a part of[has the potential to be okay]???

Ideas for inversions:

The people expressing shock/pity/disgust/fear are explicitly framed as FUCKING ASSHOLES for doing this, who are eventually INVALIDATED by the larger narrative, which is committed to proving them to be in the wrong by centering the disabled character as a hero. -- The disabled character is a bigger character than any of the assholes, with their own inner life, active agency in the story, and pain response to being treated poorly. Perhaps they make the assholes look like ignorant fools in the very same scene! (Note: if you are representing a community you are not a part of, this kind of nasty prejudice is NOT OKAY TO PUT IN JUST FOR ~FLAVOR~. You need to have something to SAY about it with your storytelling beyond "isn't that just so sad that some people are mean to cripples??", or else you're a hack for ***exposing your disabled readers to a painful reflection of their own trauma for no good reason.***)

The disabled character has their own inner life and active agency in the story; and when they reveal their disability, it is met with delight and excitement - perhaps by another major character with a disability who feels pride and comradery over this in their current situation.

It's possible to have a good scene where someone reacts wrongly with pity/ignorance to a disabled character, and then the disabled character (a full character who is in the story for more than just this purpose) carefully and generously explains why this is harmful -- with the ableist character apologizing and meaningfully changing their behavior. But tbh it is more likely that this will end up as a stilted and unnecessary scene if you are not a disabled person yourself. Especially if you aren't consulting actual disabled people.

There is no grand reveal, but rather a simple acceptance and even celebration of disability. Characters have totally awesome wheelchairs; people with scars and unusual body types have loving partners and active sex lives; characters are not considered unworthy of being the story's hero just because they are disabled!

The Jaws Effect is dangerous and even deadly, but the flip side of that coin is GOOD representation for us, in which we get to be full characters that have hopes and dreams and fears outside of just being disabled setpieces for abled characters to react to!

If showing wheelchair users as inherently miserable only serves to make real wheelchair users actually miserable because abled people end up thinking that our lives are hell and therefore we need endless harmful "hLep" and dangerously dehumanizing pity that veers into eugenics......

Then the opposite of that would be to show how FULL our lives can be! How we are still entire complex humans, who don't need to be magically turned into abled people to remain a part of the story!! Our chairs are GOOD and offer FREEDOM, and showing a wheelchair user going about their life and being part of the story can go a long way towards communicating that, even without focus on the disability itself as part of the narrative!

How could I do a "classic disabled reveal" (Example: The guy reveals that he has a mechanical limb and the spectators feel pity/scared) in a better way, without using the tiring tropes and drama?

The thing is, you can't.

The tired trope and the drama, is, in fact, the 'pity' and the 'fear' spectators feel at seeing a disabled person and a sign of their disability.

That is what's tired, not the dramatic moment of the reveal. The reveal itself is whatever.

The tired trope is that disabilities and signs of them are something you should be scared of, that you should pity, that you shouldn't be seeing or have them being shown to you.

And this trope is not harmless, and it hurts real disabled people in the real world. It extends to people's feelings about real disabled people, the way they treat real disabled people. It contributes to thinking that disability is something inherently scary, bad, and required to hide. Disability is neutral, not the end of the world.

Someone having a disability is not automatically scary nor something to pity. Someone having a visible disability is not automatically scary nor something to pity. Disabled people are just people living life. Disability is a part of their life, our life.

Here is a post on the "Jaws Effect." Please read it and take it into consideration.

Hope this helps you understand.

– mod sparrow

[tobicup]

Dcxdp

Just thinking of like a demon twins au where danny finds out damian is no longer under their grandfathers rule and goes to visit him in ghost form.

And damian is grieving all over again. Because thats his little brother, dead at his hands. Never able to grow up and live a full life. Just this weird mirror version of it. And now that damians embraced his fathers way of preserving life it feels even more of a waste and he mourns the experiences they could've had together. It felt like less of a blow when he was still in the league and surviving wasnt much of a life. Danyal was most likely happier at rest then there, but now? Now damian wishes they had more time.

Danny not realizing hes forgotten to tell his brother hes actually still alive. keeps saying that damian should come with him. See his home, meet his friends, Etc. Damian thinking danyal wants to drag him to the afterlife. Considers it even, because he owes him that much. Scared by his own thoughts and telling bruce or dick about it. And theyre both grief stricken and furious. Just this whole misunderstanding snowballing. Another son but one whos been lost before they could ever meet. One theyd never been able to know. Who never got the chance to be a child before his time was cut short. And everyone wanting to find a way to lay danny to rest without him stealing damian away too. Bruce desperate to meet this imprint of a son he never met but terrified of it taking away the son he still has.

Lol thinking of like 100 ways this could go.

Bruce calling in constantine. Danny feeling betrayed that they called someone to banish him? He thought damian would be happy to see him? Would accept him. Thought he could meet his father as well.

Or

Damian making him a grave and showing him that he can "rest" now like hed never been properly laid to rest with the league. Danny thinking its either a) a funny joke or b) finally realizes whats going on.

Or

damian offering to go with him as long as hes able to come back? He still wants to live his life and there are others in dcu who can go between realms (sorta i guess?) Danny being like yeah? No duh we'll come back xD damian being like??? When he sees amity lol.

[tsuutarr]

Yandere!Scientist Husband x Reader

“Till death do us part.”

Marrying you is the best thing that’s ever happened to Thomas. Well, that’s a lie, actually – anything involving you, from your first meeting to your first date to your engagement to everything, is the best thing that has happened to him and will happen to him. Just being with you makes his heart whole and life full.

But when he said that he would never part from you unless one of you died, he hadn’t expected your death to come so suddenly. No, he thought – dreamt – that you would live happily together well into your old age, before passing away peacefully next to each other. So, when he gets the phone call from the hospital informing him that you had been in an accident, Thomas’ world stops moving. It’s as if a part of him has crumpled to dust, leaving nothing but traces of your memories.

But somehow, he’s able to go through the motions of preparing for your funeral, despite his body feeling like an empty husk of a person.

It’s only when your funeral is over that Thomas has an epiphany. Death doesn’t have to separate you two. Oh, no. So, in the dead of night, Thomas goes to the graveyard. He pulls out your coffin, before pulling your corpse out. You’re still so beautiful even after death, almost like you’re sleeping. No, you are sleeping. Thomas will find a way to wake you up. With that thought, he cleans up the graveyard perfectly so that no one is aware about your corpse’s disappearance.

Thomas soon goes back to his normal life, at least in the public eye. While parading a mask of perfect normalcy in front of others, Thomas secretly begins his experiments. He’s nothing if not a scientist, so it’s really not that difficult for him to lock himself in his lab for hours upon hours. He perfectly preserves your body for the day he’ll finally have the knowledge to bring you back. It’s not an easy process and he has to start small, but after decades of work, he’s close to having you back.

Yes, he’ll have you back soon. Not even death can keep you from him.