#little weird unnoticeable special song

[ram-on]

This was the day I got Little Lamb Dragonfly stuck in my head the whole day. My heart is aching for you little lamb I can help you out but I cannot help you in The last time he says it in the song is especially poignant.

[inkskinned]

When the honey showed up, we all just took it inside. That was one of the things about it - it was always a little warm, always in the same simple jar and the nice plaid bow. Handmade-like. Most of us put it in our pantries or in the back of our cabinets, some put it in the fridge. we just thought to ourselves: gee, what a wonderful present.

I don’t know how long it took before we all had one. For a while, the most that would happen was two-minute feel-good op ed pieces in local newspapers. People would run little letters to the editor to find out the “culprit”. Sometimes there were faux-serious “investigations” when that parent freaked out about the possibility of drugs in honey. Most of the time, it ended quickly. After all, it was a nice gift from a neighbor, and it was yours. that was another thing. A house could be 122 people, and we’d all find our own jar on the doorstep, one at a time. we would know when it was ours and when it wasn’t, no matter how alike they looked. nobody ate it, at first. It was yours, and you wouldn’t eat it, and you couldn’t eat another person’s. it just wasn’t done. and the thing is - in that imaginary house, of 122 people? we’d all buy other honey. it was both there and took up space - but none of us thought of it as actually existing. we’d put down our storebought honey right next to it and think - why did i buy another? i’ve wanted to try this one for a while. and then the thought would simply be out of our head, because this is our third bag of baby carrots we have bought to let spoil again.

it was that one person who mentioned it on youtube. actually i think it was a vimeo “urban legends” series. some person with 6 followers who deleted like instantly. but then 6 people said something similar: everyone they knew had this one specific honey story. and then 12. and then all of a sudden we all woke up to “#honeyonthedoorstep” globally trending. we all posted our pictures of our honey and called each other liars and got into discourse fights with vegans and people without a sweet tooth. In 24 hours, it was running the media. 9-at-night serious news anchors leaned over to each other and said “now john, did you hear about this?” and despite their disbelief, they’d admit: i got the honey too. I think somewhere in march. maybe around the 5th. but i never ate it or thought anything of it. i just thought - what a nice gift. 

By the end of the week, there were YouTube challenges and instagram memes and a netflix miniseries in the works. Lots of people tried to eat their honey, and most who “succeeded” were deemed a hoax - but truth be told? it’s not good tv to watch someone pick up honey and say “actually it’s not ready” or something similar and just decide to go do something else. i tried once, winedrunk and thinking i could be famous because it’s just honey. and i remember thinking that exact thing - it’s not ready. i realized i needed to go do dishes, this was stupid and kind of cringey. 

and people freaked out, of course. outside of the jokes were parents who were asking if their children would get a jar one day, if this was a one-time thing. there were so many conspiracy theories the government finally had to say something (not that any of us were actually listening), there were massive hunts to find “the team of honey dispatchers”, there were plenty of false confessions, there were rallies to destroy the things. i don’t know if anyone actually did, because in the end? it was just a jar of honey, and it was yours, and it would be a shame to throw it at the floor just because the internet told you so. I moved three times that year - grad school, job, other better job. i always took mine with me. it wasn’t a real choice, it was just... like taking a plate that belonged to your grandmother, or carrying a song stuck in your head. it was just something that was going to come with, but it bore no special attention. and then back into the pantry it went.

two weeks later? we all just... moved on from talking about honey. it was in some memes, it was in BuzzFeed’s “top 5 weirdest stories (that are actually true)”, it was going to be the central plot of books and horror movies. but it wasn’t interesting, not really, anymore. it was like saying “all people need food”. it was just true, and not really changing. every consecutive conspiracy video got less likes, and by the end of the year, it was old enough to be a staple in bad stand-up comedy and in coming-of-age children’s shows.

nobody believed the first ones who ate it. the most traction that those posts got were from friends and family who barely remembered the whole fad. we all just figured it was a weird annual resurgence kind of thing. 

but then people were definitely, absolutely, 100% eating their honey. i think i heard about one of my coworkers first. i didn’t know her; she was in another department. she told everyone it was very similar to “normal” honey. just a little tarter than she’d expected.

twitter was in an uproar. the honey was sweet to some. spicy to others. horrible, bitter, like a thousand stingers. it was perfect, it tasted like summer. most people said: it’s just honey, and absolutely regular.

those of us who weren’t ready were biting our fingernails for a while, going to our pantries, wondering - what the fuck do i mean it’s not ready? but it wasn’t ready.  

like i said, it’s warm, always. But you just... know. one day you realize you really want honey on toast. or honey on tea, honey on a banana, just... honey. i remember opening it, but it didn’t feel like any more interesting than going to the cabinet for honey ever feels. i pour mine, usually, skipping a spoon because i’m usually too lazy. i was already in the middle of my meal before i realized - this is the honey. it’s not just a normal breakfast, it’s the breakfast, holy shit. 

mine is just, you know. honey. it has a little hint of spice and sweet to it, which i actually quite like. it reminds me of this red pepper jelly my family used to get, and it makes me happy. but in the end? it’s honey. i don’t feel like i’m connected to a seventh realm. it’s good on oatmeal and bad in coffee no matter what some of you will tell me.

it’s just, you know. once you get your jar, and it’s ready, you have a little honey roughly every 24ish hours. it’s nothing absurd. it’s just honey, i mean - it’s like saying “you’re alive, so at some point, you should probably eat.” Most of us, it hasn’t really changed our schedules. it doesn’t seem to ever run out, which is good, because we’re always forgetting to check to see if we need more before we go shopping. for most of us? you don’t die if you miss a few days, even a few weeks, you don’t go crazy trying to get it back. sure, there’s weirdass cultists who worship it, but most of us just seem to think - it’s nice to have, and it’s okay to want this thing.

now, there’s some stuff out there, you know, about what it all “means”. and honestly, we all notice things. i’m not the only one who has seen that good people tend to think their honey tastes good and eat it normally. bad people tend to eat their honey frequently but hate every second of the eating. there are plenty who will snort and say “i’m a good person and i think it tastes like dirt” and plenty who will say “i’m a shit person and i think it tastes like the summer i finally kissed her”. and i don’t know, not the way i knew if it was ready, but it feels like a simple thing amidst all the messy. and it’s probably helpful that i think mine is, like most people’s, just a nice in-the-middle. i mean, the other day i heard it asked like a star sign - what’s your honey like?

there’s this one thing, though, you know. i choose to believe, because it might make me secretly happy. it’s like believing in nessie. i know realistically it’s probably just hearsay. but there’s this underground rumbling that, over time, the honey changes. just a little, every day, unnoticeable to most of us who go to work and do our best by others but still sometimes steal toilet paper. there’s these stories of people who made it rich by selling out their friends, who stole patents, who argue that others should charge for insulin - that they liked the honey, at first, but over time, it’s gone rotten. and similarly, every so often, there’s these stories of people who were normal “regular” honey people, who helped someone out of the bottom. who chose to be just a little bit better than they were the day before. who had moments of decisive kindness that changed them. they all say the same thing: since then, the honey has been amazing, and they work to keep it that way. 

my grandmother and my mother were never surprised. they have this saying about bees and their secrets. my mother said to me: we have always had these tiny angels. they’re just giving us each a taste of the world we are making.

my grandmother later tells me, while watering the flowers, almost the exact same thing: they will haunt us when they go, because they keep books in their combs. and they see us giants, and no matter who we lie to? the world of bees will know.

[wonglix]

➺ ᴀᴛᴇᴇᴢ: ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇʏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴄʀᴜsʜ

⤷ fluff

*•.¸♡ hongjoong ♡¸.•*

hongjoong would be a bit shy at first, until he realised that keeping his distance from you to avoid getting nervous wouldn’t benefit him in his mission to get closer to you

he’d love to invite you over a bit more often, starting slowly by making sure there always were other members around because it would be weird if he’d ask you to spend time alone with him all of a sudden

he’d come up with excuses like “we need opinions on our new choreography!”, “we’re not sure if the song sounds right, could you listen to it?”

slowly but surely he’d start to invite you while less and less members were around until it was just the two of you and he realised that these moments, just you and him sitting and talking were definitely his favourite ones

this would also confirm his crush for him, since he was doubting his feelings a bit. seeing you joking around with him in his studio, listening to him rant about some irrelevant stuff his members did that seemed like the biggest problem at that moment would really hammer home the fact that he did indeed fall for you

he’d start to be a bit more touchy, his hand resting on yours, brushing hair out of your face, innocently letting his hand rest on your knee, tugging you closer to him when he was showing you something on his phone.

he’d also begin to be a bit more bold when asking you to spend time, offering to let you stay the night if it was late, taking you to his favourite restaurant, meeting up at a convenience store at 3 am just to have some cheap ramen and talk about anything.

a cutie that gets really soft once he confirms his feelings, getting close to you one pretty smile and hand holding at a time

*•.¸♡ seonghwa ♡¸.•*

he’s already very caring, protective and gentle, but once he started crushing on someone he’d essentially just start showering them in love whenever he could

he’d check in on you way more frequently, always asking how you’re doing and if you’ve eaten. he’d be the one to walk you home whenever you visit them, and if it got too late he’d offer to sleep on the couch to you could sleep in his bed

i feel like his caring nature could be very easily be mistaken as brotherly and he knows that, so he makes sure to flirt with you from time to time, just to hammer home the fact that he is interested in you.

he wants to make sure that you slowly start to understand that there’s a reason you’re always the first one he serves dinner to, or that there is a reason that makes him value your opinion over anyone else’s

he’d accidentally brush your hands together and wink at you once you look at him, would compliment you very cheekily and might even drop a cringy pickup line here and there

he loves to take care of you and he’s the first one to show up when you mention that you’re not feeling well. it’s hard for him to keep his feelings to himself when you’re laying there like that, glossy eyes and weak smile on your face

he might’ve mentioned something about having fallen for you while you were having a bad fever, rendering you unable to remember anything. he was glad you didn’t remember, he wanted it to be special once he confessed; something you could think back to that would make your cheeks flush and heart race

caring, flirty love bug that just wants to take care of you and cuddle you close to him and make you happy

*•.¸♡ yunho ♡¸.•*

yunho would probably be quite obvious, showing all the telltale signs of someone having a crush: he’d be glued to your side with a constant blush on his face, he’d giggle at everything you said whether it was actually funny or not and he was trying his absolute hardest to make you laugh, even if it meant embarrassing himself

his members caught on fairly quickly and kept teasing him about it, getting closer to you on purpose to make him jealous. yunho hated the fact that he couldn’t really do anything, he couldn’t just walk up to you and san as you were sitting extremely closely together on the couch and demand san’s seat, right?

so a lot of his pining was spent observing you and his members, how they would purposefully hug you just a second too long, hold your hand just a bit too much, sit next to you just a tad bit too closely - it all got on his nerves and he made sure to nag them once you left. it might be childish but he was scared that you might fall for one of them, that you might interpret their closeness as flirting.

after realising that making him jealous wouldn’t lead to him confessing but rather to him doubting himself the others knocked it off for yunho’s sake. they ended up hyping him up a lot, telling him to just do the same they did - staying close to you and making you see him in a different light

they kept hyping him up and mysteriously vanishing every time you came over from them on, leaving you two alone and causing poor yunho to almost suffer from multiple heart attacks because wow, you’re so pretty!!

even though he was close to you and always made sure to stay close to you, he also ensured that you would be comfortable around him. if you had a bad day and didn’t want him so close to you he would understand, scooting away and listening to you talk about what’s been bothering you

he’s also ready to shower you in all the affection you need though, wrapping you in his arms when you come to him crying, his heart hurting and his mind telling him to press a little kiss to your head, just a small peck to calm you down-

all in all he’s very obvious and soft, his heart definitely on his sleeve and you would be lying if you said you didn’t notice the way he smiled at you with hearts in his eyes every time your eyes met

*•.¸♡ yeosang ♡¸.•*

he’d be so incredibly shy once he realised that he had a crush and it would definitely take him a while to warm up to them again

everytime he’d see you he’d feel his hands get sweaty and his mind was racing; what was he supposed to talk to you about? would you be uncomfortable if he sat next to you? he really wants to hold your hand but god, that’d be so random and out of place, he couldn’t possibly do that

it was really hard for him to be nice to you again, scared of outing his feelings if he ended up being too gentle with you. he wasn’t ready to confess yet, he didn’t even know how to yet and the last thing he’d want is for his crush to just get exposed without him planning to

he would probably confide in some of his members, hoping that they could help him out with the problem at hand. they’d give him some tips on how to subtly get closer to you, how to express his feelings without actually confessing

while he was still shy and a bit quiet around you, he managed to get himself to spend some time alone with you. he realised that his pounding heart and the occasional shy stammer were nothing compared to the happiness he felt when he talked to you, so he began to talk to you more often

on the phone, on face time, when you came to visit them - you and yeosang were talking a lot, and while he still got the soft blush on his cheeks and sweaty hands he’s more than happy to spend time with you

over time the casual talks would evolve into deeper ones, the two of you confiding into each other. this would mean a lot to him and it took everything in him to keep himself from kissing you

shy sweetheart takes some time to come out of his shell but once he does, he swears there is no place better than with you next to him

*•.¸♡ san ♡¸.•*

san would turn into a bit of a show off, doing his absolute best to get his crush to praise him and swoon over him, like look at me!! did you see that? yeah, you saw that. amazing, right? yeah, amazing

though he liked showing off, he caught himself getting soft and mushy over you a lot. it’s hard for him to keep his crush to himself, so he confessed his feelings towards you to his members and to his surprise they all already knew somehow

like?? how could they’ve possibly known?? he was so discreet while balancing three plates on his head while trying to jump rope just to get you to laugh??

he doesn’t mind making a fool of himself as long as it meant to hear you laugh and giggle at him, but what made his heart flutter the most was by far the way you’d scold and care for him every time he accidentally hurt himself during one of his skits

his mind was racing and his heart pounding, a lovestruck smile etched on his face while you were frantically searching for a bandaid. all he could think about was that there was no way you’d care for him this much if you didn’t like him too, right?? no way you’d be so mad at him for accidentally hurting himself like that!!

while san loves to get praise and see you gush over him and care for him, he was also very big on showering you in praise and adoration. every time you told him about something you achieved he was there to hype you up, to praise you and tell you how well you did

he would get so happy for you that he sometimes couldn’t hold back and you would occasionally feel a very gentle, almost unnoticeable kiss being pressed to the to of your head while he was crushing you in a hug

adorable goofy show off that really is just a very soft gushy mess for you on the inside, that sometimes struggles with keeping all the affection he has for you to himself

*•.¸♡ mingi ♡¸.•*

it’s like a lightbulb went off over mingi’s head once seonghwa asked him if he planned on confessing to you. he genuinely just thought that he really enjoyed your company and that that was the reason for his blushed cheeks and pounding heart

he didn’t expect to fall for you so the signs were a bit unclear to him but once he knew, he could barely think about anything but you and the others would catch him just sitting somewhere, daydreaming with a dumb smile on his face

he keeps asking you to go to places with him, if it’s grocery shopping, visiting an arcade or just going to the company to record - he thrives off of your presence and he’s addicted to the bubbly feeling in his chest he gets when he’s around you

he used to be quite open when it came to his work, mingi loved showing you what he was working on; now he’s just way too shy to show you what he’s working on because he catches himself writing about you a lot and it makes his cheeks burn every time he realises that his mind drifted to you again

he fell for you and wanted to be with you, but he also fell in love with the idea of crushing on you; the shy glances and the way you’d look into each other’s eyes just a bit too long for it to be friendly excited him a lot. yeah he was shy and feels his heart hammer in his chest at the smallest things you do, but it’s such a nice feeling to make you smile and look at him with eyes as enchanting as yours

he enjoys seeing the occasional blush spread on your cheeks a lot and it made him fantasize about how nice it would be if you were dating because he wants nothing more than to kiss those pink cheeks, to have you giggle in embarrassment in his arms-

he likes to take you to experience new things, the thought of sharing memories with you all too exciting for him to pass up. he tends to innocently take your hand in his, excuses flowing out of his mouth each time, “i don’t want to lose you!”, “i know the way”, “it’s dark and i feel better like this”

lovestruck honeypie that is not only in love with you but also with the idea of loving you and crushing on you

*•.¸♡ wooyoung ♡¸.•*

wooyoung would amp his teasing up to the max, almost making it seem like he was picking on you while simultaneously flirting shamelessly

he’d never took it too far though, always very in touch with your feeling and hyper aware of the smallest changes in your behaviour or facial expressions

he never wants to hurt your feelings with his snarky comments or make you feel uncomfortable around him with his weird flirting. the second he notices that you’ve stopped giggling at his antics, he immediately stops

as confident as he was, he was still too shy and nervous to just confess - which leads to him relentlessly teasing you all the time. he’d either tease you about things you do or say, or simply try to make you nervous because how dare you make him this feel this shy? that’s not fair, so now it’s your turn to be nervous!

he’d love to show up randomly, taking you out for a spontaneous dinner or a calming late night walk - anything to spend some time with you

he always uses the excuse that “the others are asleep”, “they’re all busy”, “they don’t like that restaurant” even though the only thing he wanted to tell you was “i just wanted to see you”

he tries his best to keep his teasing masquerade up, refusing to let the soft part of him take over. he doesn’t want to think about how beautiful you look when you laugh at one of his mindless jokes, how stunning it is to watch your expressions change while you’re telling a story, how incredibly cute it is when you struggle with something, how bad he wants to press a kiss to your tear-stained cheeks when-

a teasing softie that has to figure out a more efficient way to get closer to you apart from picking on you and making you blush with his excessive flirting

*•.¸♡ jongho ♡¸.•*

jongho could be described as “confused”. he wasn’t really sure what to make of his racing heart and sweaty palms at first until it finally clicked - which made him switch from “confused” to “panicked”, back to “confused” because he had no idea what to do

he didn’t know how to handle his feelings, on one hand he just wanted to tell you what he felt and hold your hand and maybe even give you a little kiss on your cheek. and maybe he’d be confident enough to kiss the cute little pout away you get every time he teases you, and oh how badly he wants to take you out to his favourite restaurant, just the two of you, and-

on the other hand though, he was also really nervous, like what if you didn’t see him that way? what if you were in love with someone else? his mind was racing just as bad as his heart was and it was draining

every time you interacted he was torn between flirting with you, making you realise that he thought of you as more than just friends and continuing to treat you as a simple friend, staying in his lane

it ended with him being very flirty and playful with you one day, and very distant and quiet on the next. he kept going back and forth, never knowing what exactly he’s supposed to do - one day he’ll hold your hand while walking, the next he’ll not even sit next to you

it left you confused while jongho was panicking inside, because oh god, why did i scoot away? oh wow, they’re smile is so pretty! i like y/n so much, i really want to-

while he was usually calm and collected on the outside, nervous or affectionate thoughts were bouncing around in his mind. you did manage to break through his calm exterior, making him blush and giggle shyly. it was really hard for him to decide which approach it will take and you will definitely realise that something’s going on at some point

a little shy and unsure, but is genuinely very infatuated with you. has to figure out how to approach you and has a hard time calming his thoughts when he’s with you

[gukyi]

[!] fic alert [!]

THE LOVE PROJECT | JJK

↳ COMING SUNDAY, OCTOBER 4TH AT 10:30PM EST

summary: from running to mcdonald's at 3am after a halloween party where the two of you dressed up as the teletubbies to timing how long it takes for him to drink a cup of monster mixed with mountain dew and iced coffee and then do fifty push-ups, as his best friend, you’re used to jungkook asking you to do all sorts of crazy things. but, of all the shit the two of you do, letting him follow you around for a week with a camera and take candid photos of you for a photography assignment might just be the craziest of them all.

{college!au, friends to lovers!au}

pairing: jeon jungkook x female reader genre: fluff, comedy word count: 10k warnings: college antics, hopeless pining, slow burn even though this fic is only 10k a/n: guess who’s back... back again... using this song as a return message is super outdated but i’m using it anyway... that’s right it’s me!! thank you all for being so, so, so patient and kind with me as i took a much-needed break from writing and from tumblr to collect my thoughts and focus on my personal life. i know i promised some other fics, but i wanted to write something quick and easy to get me back into the swing of things, so i hope you enjoy!

PREVIEW: 

“You’re… sure about this?” He asks, looking up at you, determined to ensure your comfort. As if that’s even an issue. “You’re cool with being photographed and everything?”

“Only because it’s you,” you tease lightheartedly, expecting some sort of equally cheesy response. Instead, it makes Jungkook do something weird. He freezes in place, darting his eyes away from your gaze for a split second, collecting thoughts you can’t see. “Yeah,” you say loudly, trying to bring him back. “I’m fine with it.”

He inhales, exhales, closes his eyes, and opens them. “Okay then. I guess it’s settled. You’ll be my subject,” he declares, an almost unnoticeable wobble to his voice. It’s probably nothing, so you don’t think too hard about it.

“Can you at least pretend to be a little more excited about this?” You ask, jabbing him in the chest with a wooden chopstick. “It’s the first time we’ve ever gotten to be part of a project together!”

“Yay,” Jungkook says, lifeless. 

“How about a photo to commemorate it?” You suggest, reaching over to pull the camera out of his backpack, pushing it into his hands. “This can be the start of your portfolio.”

“Fine,” he eventually caves, bringing it up to his eye as he turns it on, twisting the lens to perfect the focus. Even caught off guard like this, he looks like a professional, like someone who was born to be behind the camera. He’s a computer science major but you know that photography will always be something special to him.

You strike a dramatic pose, holding your chopsticks out, one in each hand, with a wide, excited smile on your face. “How do I look?” You ask, scrunching your eyes together. 

Jungkook’s finger hovers over the silver button. “Perfect,” he tells you, voice soft and honest. 

Click.

[iwaisuke]

i like you so much, you'll know it

ft. kageyama tobio, semi eita, iwaizumi hajime x fem!reader

genre: fluff (prompts are based off lines of the song)

masterlist

a/n: from the c-drama a love so beautiful :) i wrote this at like 4am so sorry if its crap haha. not proof read either. also, sorry in advance if they're too ooc lol im a mess rn.

» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

i like your eyes, you look away when you pretend not to care i like the dimples on the corners of the smile that you wear. i like you more the world may know but dont be scared cause im falling deeper baby be prepared.

» today was your first day at karasuno highschool. honestly, you were so scared. that was up until you found out kageyama was going too.

» the two of you had been childhood friends due to each others grandparents knowing the others. you had been with him through his ups and downs. his victories and defeats. almost everything kageyama did, you were there with him.

» actually, you didnt know kageyama was going to karasuno until you walked outside your door to find the raven haired boy in the same school uniform as you

» "tobi? you never told me you were going to karasuno?" giving him a side eyed grin. "i thought you were planning on going to aoba johsai like oikawa senpai and iwaizumi senpai"

» you viewed kageyama as someone who expected others to reach his level in order to be a good match for him. he had a strong head on his shoulders. naturally gifted in volleyball, like everything was given to him on a gold platter. of course, he wasnt perfect and thats where you come in and keep him level headed. helping him understand his faults and weaknesses as well. doing your best to encourage the setter

» he let out a sigh. a slight frown forming on his face. "i didnt get in.." he quietly said. "karasuno has a good volleyball team though and i can feel myself growing here" he stated bodly

» and boy was he right. something about kageyama did changd that day. he usually was so bitter and angry. a very pessimistic look on life if he and others weren't at the top. maybe it was the orange haired boy, hinata, that the setter and you became friends with. and maybe it was his great senpai's who were patient with him and gave him the opportunity to grow

» kageyama started smiling more often. his small unnoticeable dimples showing. he became kinder. softer. and more carefree. he was a growing boy both mentally and physically.

» what you didnt realize was that not only was kageyama changing, you as well, had something changing and growing in your heart.

» but kageyama noticed. oh boy did he really notice, the way you seemed to become happier and livelier by the day. how the stars sparkled in your eyes when you talked about something you enjoyed. the kind of perfume you would wear and how you would tie your hair differently each day. the weird trinkets you just seemed to love that decorated your bag. but most importantly, how much bigger your heart has become, loving everyone and their faults. always encouraging and motivating him and his team.

» was she always like this? he would constantly think to himself. all of a sudden being hyperaware about you... but he would NEVER let you know that, let alone his senpai's. it was just too embarrassing. just thinking about the never ending teasing he'd get from tanaka and noya senpai made him shiver.

» all of these things he felt about you hit kageyama like a truck the day everyone started to wear their winter uniforms.

» picking you up to walk to school together was a normal thing since the two of you lived close, but how was kageyama suppose to do this now when you're standing in front of him. thigh high socks to keep your legs warm, an oversized jacket that you had borrowed from him a while back you forgot to return. white mittens to cover your cold hands and the slight blush on your face from the wind chill.

» "does it look weird?" you shyly asked. kageyama was silent. "ah.. give me a second. I'll go back in and change real qui-"

» kageyama tugged on your hand. "its fine. lets just go to school or we'll be late." refusing to look you in the eyes. heat rising to your cheeks as tobio dragged you along with him.

» your feelings for the setter had blossomed over the past few months. falling deeper and deeper into him, and at this point you felt like you couldnt hide it anymore. you just had to tell him. tell him all the wonderful things he's done. the way he's grown and how much he means to you.

» "tobi..." your soft voice spilling out. eyes closed, the fog of your breath coming out as you exhaled. "i lik-"

» you felt something wrap around your neck. "wait y/n..." kageyama spoke, interrupting what you were about to say. not gonna lie, you felt like your heart was about to be shattered like ice eventhough kageyama continued to wrap his scarf around your neck.

» "dont say it..." he quietly said as he began to walk forward without you.

» ah... is this what rejection feels like? i didnt even get to say it properly... your hands felt colder now that kageyama wasnt holding them anymore.

» he took a quick glance back at you. blush on his cheeks. "be prepared because i want to be the one to tell you first."

i like the way you try so hard when you play ball with your friends. i like the way you hit the notes in every song you're shinnin' i love the little things like when you're unaware, i catch you steal a glance and smile so perfectly

» semi eita, your 3 year heart throb from the moment he first spoke to you.

» at first, you had suppressed these feelings, telling yourself he would never look at you the same way. but something about the blonde tsundere struck a chord in your heart that you just couldn't forget.

» the two of you ended up becoming friends. closer than you had actually imagined within these past 3 years. doing everyday life with you. waking up and saving you a spot at breakfast. helping you with your studies in exchange for being his workout buddy and motivator.

» semi kept his tabs on you. your likes and dislikes. the things that made you smile and the things that made you groan in disgust, but he would never let you know that.

» to semi, you were his breath of fresh air. the song he has on repeat everyday. the kind of person who would keep him on his toes. in a good way of course

» "oi what are you daydreaming of this time?" semi asked as you zoned out while drinking your carton of strawberry milk. "hm? oh nothin. just thinkin about whats in store for us today!" reaching your arms above your head letting out a stretch. "i just know for a fact. today is gonna be a good day." semi chuckled at your optimistic claim. "how do you know for sure?" "i dont know how. i just do" you replied with a smile on your face.

» today, shiratorizawa had a practice match with aoba johsai and today, eita was picked to be in the starting line up. the pure joy that radiated from his body. maybe today was a really good day just like how you had said.

» semi took a quick glance up into the stands, you gave him a thumbs up and wished him good luck. his smile was brighter than you had ever seen it and his eyes shined like stars. he always told you that whatever chance he got on the court, he would be sure to not let his team down no matter what. he was in his zone. playing his best and sure enough, they had won all 3 matches.

» after practice, semi and you would hang out at his dorm afterwards. he liked to show you all the new songs he was working on. whether it was a cover or a song or a song he was writing on his own.

» the two of you leaned against the wall as you sat on semi's bed. his sheet music all sprawled out before him on his bed sheets. guitar in his arms and you beside him.

» "what are you working on semi?" "a song" "well obviously dum dum" you laughed, reaching out for a paper in front.

» "so who's the special lady?" you teased him as you read the lyrics. deep down inside you could only wish these words were meant for you. a blush formed on eita's face. "just... shut up about it... its not ready yet"

» it was getting late and falling asleep at semi's place was a normal occurrence at this point. your eyes became heavy and your head started bobbing.

» "sleepy?" eita asked as he noticed your eyes drooping. "mhm. sing for me semi? please?" his voice was so soft like a mothers touch yet somehow had the power to pierce through your soul sometimes. although, it never failed to help you fall asleep when you needed it.

» hesitantly, semi started humming. softly speaking some lyrics here and there. you didnt know where the tune was from so you listened the best you could.

» "... till the last of snow dissapears ... till a rainy day, becomes clear. never knew a love like this, now i can't let go..."

» your eyes had closed. slumber taking over you as you fell onto semi's shoulder.

» "im in love with you... and now you know..."

» yeah. today was a good day. just like you said it was going to be.

in a world devoid of life, you bring color. in your eyes i see the light, my future. always and forever i know i cant let you go. im in love with you and now you know

» to iwaizumi, unlike volleyball, oikawa, maki, mattsun, school, anything life threw at him; you were the thing in his life that was constant yet at the same time a whirlwind of new beginnings. not in a bad way though.

» ever since you were kids, you showed iwaizumi the beauty in things he would have never guessed had. he was bold and tended to look over things without giving them much thought. his eyes straight ahead to the trials before him. you on the other hand, stopped him and slowed him down from rushing into them blindly.

» "every moment is precious. you should learn to cherish it because you never know when it's gonna be your last" you always said

» your views of the world were beautiful compared to how cruel it actually was. naivety maybe? or maybe it was just because you were blessed with a kind soul.

» iwaizumi always knew he had feelings for you. you had been with him through thick and thin. he could depend on you and you could depend on him. in his eyes, you were the most beautiful person on earth. deep down he had hoped the two of you could stay like that forever. nothing could ever change that.

» or so he thought...

» "iwa chan~ you owe me a meat bun" oikawa whined as the group of friends were walking to the gym for volleyball practice. "shut up crappykawa. i already bought you one last week" "oi isn't that y/n over there?" maki said, shaking iwaizumi's shoulder.

» sure enough it was you. apparently you had told iwaizumi to go ahead of you today because you had something to take care of in the afternoon. telling him you'd meet up with him after practice was over. not thinking much of it, he bid you a farewell and went on in his day.

» "oooou by the looks of it, this is the perfect confession scene" mattsun teased. "oi stop messing around" iwaizumi's voice hoarse. not gonna lie, iwaizumi felt his heart drop when mattsun said that

» the 4 boys crept closer to see what was going on.

» there you were, standing in the middle of a classroom with a black haired boy. "mhm. definitely a confession." oikawa stated. "shut up tooru we cant hear" maki retorted.

» you weren't considered popular in school but that didnt mean people didnt know who you were. iwaizumi knew you were gorgeous and on top of that, smart, kind and one of the sweetest girls, so it was only natural that people would be drawn to you.

» they watched as the boy got closer and closer to you. voices barely being audible to the 4 boys outside. iwaizumi's heart could bear to see this right before his eyes.

» without even thinking, his feet moving on his own, iwaizumi barged into the room. all eyes towards him.

» "iwa what are you-" without letting you finish, iwa dragged you out of the classroom. "iwa where are you taking me" asking him as he took you to who knows where, leading you up the stairs of the school.

» up on the roof, he finally let go. "sorry..." he mumbled.

» "sorry for what iwa?" "for ruining that confession... i just-"

» "you just...-?"

» "i just love you ok?!"

» your heart shook at the resonance of his voice. iwa liked you? he liked you back?! wait no- he loved you.

» you had loved iwaizumi from the moment you met him and as the two of you grew up, your love for him only grew deeper. he was the only one you'd ever look at. the only one who would ever cross your mind. you had hoped he felt the same about you but he was always so busy with other things you only felt like you would be able to support him on the sidelines as he faced the world head on like he always does.

» just being in iwaizumi's presence was enough for you. no need to be greedier, you thought. its good to be content with what you have, but just knowing that he shares the same feelings... its ok to be a little greedy right?

» your silence being louder than it should have been, iwaizumi took it the wrong way. "look I know this isn't the greatest confession. heck it's not even the way I wanted to confess to you, and get it if you like that other guy, you don't have to-"

» shuting him up with a kiss, you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him in closer. needless to say, he was shocked, but embraced you as well.

» "you're overthinking too much iwa. that's so unlike you" you chuckled. his face bright red at the previous actions.

» "i love you. I've loved you for a long time actually. every single second. every moment we've shared. i cant picture myself with anyone but you hajime."

» iwa let out a sigh of relief. a smile being brought back onto his face. "good because all I know is that i cant let you go. in the past, present and even in the future...."

» the blue sky slowly changing into shades of coral warmed your heart even more on top of his sweet words that you've always longed to hear.

» "im in love with you, and now you know"

-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

enjoy your order! have a great day!

[ttttaehyungie]

secret santa | kth x reader

secret santa | kim taehyung x reader

genre | bff2l, fluff

summary | What you thought was an ingenious plan to figure out the perfect gift for your secret santee turns out to take a whole bunch of wrong turns, but with the best outcomes.

rating | NC-17

word count | 6.2k words

warnings | some profanities (it’s like... once LOL), mentioned breakups, it’s Christmas in the context of a pandemic

a/n | Merry Christmas everybuddy 🎄✨ here is a lighthearted (or at least it was until i hit the 6am point of the night while writing slkdjflkjd) lil christmas gift to everyone, but mostly to myself LOL bcos I’m finally posting a fic about the one who owns my heart in its entirety 😌

Christmas without you would just not be Christmas at all

Bright mistletoes up above us, it’s just you and me

-- V, Snow Flower

“C’mon, ____,” Taehyung whines. He plops down on the couch next to you and puts his big, round eyes to good use, giving you the puppy dog eyes treatment.

Well too bad for Taehyung, having known him for the last decade has granted you immunity against his pouty antics. There’s a couple of things that Taehyung employs in a bid to get what he wants. First, he’ll whine. Next, he’ll attempt to reason it out with you… or as much as he can convincingly reason with the pout still laced thick in his tone. If that fails, he’ll try bargaining. And finally, if none of the aforementioned has managed to sway you, he’ll just pout in silence.

“That’s the thing about Secret Santas, Tae, they’re supposed to be, y’know, secret.”

“Well, I can’t help you if you don’t tell me who your santee is!” he exclaims, throwing his hands in the air.

There it is. Stage two.

You ignore him and return to scrolling through Amazon in what you hope is a nonchalant manner.

“What if I guess who it is?” he tries.

When you don’t reply, he continues, “Is it Hoseok?” He runs a hand through his golden locks in thought. “No, buying for Yoongi is easy because all he ever wants is practical things like planners. You wouldn’t need help with that. Hm… Is it Seokjin?”

He rambles on about different kitchenware that could make a good present for Jin, a ramble that would have been really helpful if only Jin were actually your secret santee.

Taehyung gasps and falls silent, shocking you into finally looking up from your phone. His already round eyes are even rounder, wide as they are in shock. A hand hovers over his mouth as he goes still.

Then, as suddenly as he had gasped, he relaxes into a laugh.

“For a moment, I thought your secret santee was me,” he says, chuckling. A jolt runs through you, and your breath hitches in a way that you pray is unnoticeable. “But you’re too shitty a liar to do that.”

“Hey!” You jab his side playfully and he yelps. “What do you mean? I’m a great liar.”

“That’s a blatant and unconvincing lie right there.”

You fold your arms and turn away.

“I know you’re not actually mad, ____,” comes his sing-song voice, crossing his arms behind his head and reclining into the couch.

Letting out another huff, you turn further away. So when he grabs your hands and pulls you to face him, it startles you a little.

His eyes search yours, and you can’t help yourself from stumbling into their depths. The seriousness in his gaze holds yours intently.

But just as you think he’s about to apologize, his eyes melt into little crescent moons as he grins. “So. Who’s your secret santee?”

His cry comes out muffled under the cushion you hit him with.

An exasperated groan leaves you the moment you close the front door. Tipping your head back to rest against the solid wood, you shut your eyes. You hear footsteps pad closer.

“I take it your plan didn’t succeed?” Irene says, leaning against the wall as she takes in your defeated stance.

“Nope,” you say, picking yourself back up and hanging up your scarf and coat. Your roommate’s still in the same fuzzy pyjamas she was in when you’d left for Tae’s earlier in the day, and honestly, she’s got the right idea. You’re ready to get back into jammies too.

A Lifetime movie plays in the background, and you’d be willing to bet your life’s savings -- not that there’s much when you’re but a struggling student -- that she’s got a mug of hot chocolate to accompany her.

“Another Christmas movie?” you scoff in mock disgust. “How are you not sick of them yet?”

“What else are we supposed to do during a quarantined Christmas?”

“Don’t kid yourself. You’d be doing this even without the quarantine.”

“Hey. If you detest it so much, I heard that Taehyung’s place has many vacant rooms right now.”

You roll your eyes. She got that information from you. Both his roommates were gone from the apartment for the time being, one went back home for the holidays and another had chosen to attend the entire semester from home since everything was online anyway, leaving Taehyung with the luxury of the entire apartment to himself.

Meanwhile, Irene was making full use of the ongoing situation to evade going back home for the holidays. Too much family drama to allow her to binge-watch her holiday flicks in peace, she’d said.

And you? It’s kinda awful, but you’ve chosen to remain in your apartment just slightly off-campus so that you could get a head start on your research for your thesis, the campus library’s offerings much more vast than the local neighborhood library of your small town hometown.

Upon hearing this, Taehyung had offered to stay to keep you company over the holidays. “We’ve spent every Christmas together ever since we were kids, Christmas would just feel too weird without you,” he’d said. “And then we can join the gang’s Zoom Christmas celebration together too! I heard that’s what Namjoon and Jin will be doing since they’re both in the city over Christmas.”

How you’d managed to keep yourself from melting into a puddle of goo at his casual selflessness was a real feat. Taehyung had always been close to his family, and often missed them intensely while you guys were miles apart from home each college semester. So for him to give up a trip back home so you could still have a piece of home with you over Christmas was not a small sacrifice.

“Hellooo?” Irene waves a hand in your face. You jump, jolted out of your thoughts. “Are you actually daydreaming about it? Ooh, staying over at your crush’s place with no one else around… saucy things could happen, ____.”

Although that wasn’t what you were thinking about, you still feel the heat rise to your cheeks at being caught daydreaming about Taehyung. Instead, you give a feeble excuse to get Irene off your back, “I’m just thinking about secret santa gifts again. Ugh, why’d I have to draw him of all people?!”

“Are you sure you aren’t overthinking this because of your feelings? How difficult is it to think of a gift for a guy you’ve been friends with since you were kids? What about his interests?”

“That’s real tough. His hobbies are so whimsical and oftentimes just impulsive. Remember the phase with the film camera? And then the short-lived violin phase? And the piano phase? The only outcome of that phase is him playing the Chopstick Waltz every single time we pass by a piano.”

“Well, what about something that’s been a constant in his life then through all the phases?”

You purse your lips in thought, weighing the thought. It’s not a bad suggestion, but what has been a constant for him all this time?

Coming up with naught, you sigh and turn to head to your room. “I’ll think about it while I get changed back into my jammies.”

When you described Taehyung’s ideas and interests as being whimsical and oftentimes impulsive, this is exactly what you meant.

“Tae, I don’t think it’s gonna fit. Why’d you get such a big one?”

“You just have to believe, ____. We just need faith, trust, and- well actually, maybe just faith and a really good, hard thrust.”

“I feel like there’s so many that’s what she said jokes to be made here.”

“Wasting your energy on that line of thinking is the reason why we haven’t gotten this christmas tree through the door yet.”

With one more solid push, the widest part of the tree finally makes it through the narrow doorway of Taehyung’s apartment, and the two of you go stumbling forward with the extra momentum.

“We did it!” he exclaims, wrapping you up in a hug. “You believed!”

Internally cursing yourself for the way your heart has the audacity to stutter at his touch. The hug is nothing- the warmth that seeps from his body to yours is familiar because hugs are nothing special in your friendship. Even in your grade school memories, Taehyung had always been a tactile person, giving out hugs generously and demanding them in return by simply throwing himself at people to be received in an embrace, coerced or not. As you and your peers grew older, Taehyung became more aware and withheld himself from his sudden hug attacks, especially towards the other girls. But not you. He felt no need to skirt around things with you, and you found a quiet hum of satisfaction in knowing that Taehyung could be his tactile self with you. Hugs were just an expression of your friendship. Nothing more.

That is, until you wanted them to be more.

You shake the thought away. You’ve dealt with this successfully for more than a year now and you can continue on.

Taehyung loosens his hold but keeps his arms around you, leaning back to look at you. The soft puffs in his cheeks and the light creases around his eyes as they bunch up in happiness are just some of the little things you adore about him. The contentment practically radiates off of him. It’s just like him to get this excited over a christmas tree.

“Shall we get to setting it up?” you ask and he nods, releasing you completely then to get to work.

After the two of you find the perfect spot, situating the tree in the corner of the living room by the windows and in reach of a power socket, you grab the bag of decorations.

The oddly small and light bag of decorations.

“Tae?” you ask, pulling out the single box of baubles. “Is this all you got?”

Grinning sheepishly, he nods. “I didn’t have much left for decorations after I chose the tree.”

“Why’d you choose such a big tree then?”

“What’s the point of getting a tiny tree? It’s only nice and festive if it’s large!” he exclaims.

“Well, what’s the point of getting a big tree that will be bare except for six baubles, Tae?!”

“I was thinking we could improvise the decorations.”

You quirk an eyebrow. “Improvise?”

“Yeah, like- wait,” he says, running to his bedroom. His voice floats over from the narrow corridor, “just hang on!”

After a little rustling and rummaging, Taehyung emerges with two shoeboxes and a few scarves thrown over his shoulders. Grabbing one of the shoeboxes from him, you open it to reveal a bunch of keychains. Souvenirs from his friends’ travels and some of his own too. In there, you recognize an eiffel tower keychain you gifted him after your family’s holiday to France.

“Here, look!” He grabs a few and begins hanging them on the tree. “Decorations!”

You laugh. It’s a classic Taehyung move, and honestly it doesn’t look half bad. Picking a few keychains of your own from the box, you join him in placing them around the tree.

“What are you going to do about the tree topper?” you ask.

He smirks. “I’ve already got that all figured out.” Unboxing the second shoebox to reveal his collection of polaroid photos, he rifles around till he finds the photo he wants. Brandishing the polaroid of Yeontan, he grins. “Both an angel and a star. Perfect.”

You can't argue with that logic, and you say as much before vacating the step stool so he can clip the polaroid to the top of the tree with a wooden peg. Eyeing the pile of scarves on the couch, you ask, “What about the scarves?”

“Scarves? You mean ribbons?” he says, and begins draping them across the tree. You giggle and reach for one. The soft material is plush, caressing your skin as you run your fingers over the material. It's much nicer than the other scarves, you notice, and way too nice to be stuck on a christmas tree.

“Hey,” you say, “isn’t this cashmere? Are you sure you want such a nice sweater on your tree?”

Taehyung shrugs. “It was a gift from my ex. It’s not like I’m going to wear it anymore.”

His ex. The words hit you like a punch to your gut.

Taehyung's ex, Samantha, was a pleasant person to be around, easygoing and bubbly with a sunny personality that matched him well. At least, from what you could tell based off the first two months of their relationship that you got to witness firsthand. You're not quite sure who exactly initiated the distance -- whether it was from your own courtesy that you gave them space, or whether Samantha had, directly or indirectly, requested for it -- the memories were all too foggy by now.

What you do remember is that one moment they were happy together, and the next they were broken up, the relationship lasting just a little over six months. Taehyung never spoke much about it and when you did probe, he would brush it off with scant excuses that they just figured they weren't compatible after all.

That had been some time in the spring. Briefly, you wonder how many wears the scarf had gotten, and how much sentimental value it held. The quality of the material hinted towards a relationship that had been going strong.

Yet, you muse over it as you drape the luxurious material over the prickly christmas tree, Taehyung brushed it off with such brashness that spoke otherwise.

“Hey,” Taehyung breaks the silence that has fallen between you, clearing his throat in a self-conscious manner as if he’s feeling guilty over the awkward turn that the conversation had taken. You look at him, half-hidden behind the tree pines, his eyes pensive. Maybe he’ll finally open up about the relationship -- it’s been eight months after all. But then he flashes his usual elfin grin. “Any luck with your secret santee gift yet?”

You groan, partly because no, you’re still clueless and stuck on what to get him, and partly because he’s once again evaded the topic of his ex.

The incessant buzzing of your phone gets ignored, vibrating almost violently in its spot on the tinyass coffee table next to your feet which you’ve kicked up ever so demurely. The consecutive, rapid-fire notifications can only be from an overly enthusiastic Taehyung.

Irene nudges foot with her own socked one. “Aren’t you gonna check your phone? I can pause the movie if you want.”

“Nah, I’ve watched Home Alone enough times to not care about missing anything. And it’s probably just Tae being all excited about secret santa gift suggestions.”

“Ooh, how’s that going? Finally got him to spill what he might want?”

An exasperated sigh escapes you. “No, he’s sending me individualized suggestions for everyone that are so well thought out and personalized that I can’t get them for anyone else.”

Grabbing your still-buzzing phone, you flick through your texts. Just as you’d predicted, Tae’s sent you a bunch of Christmas socks he found on Amazon that he thinks would make a good addition to Jin’s collection of festive socks, a set of really nice paints that would pair well with Yoongi’s newfound interest in painting, and an anthology of time-travel short stories that he thinks would fascinate Namjoon.

“Hm, d’you think he’s called your bluff? Intentionally sending you suggestions that wouldn’t be helpful?”

You shake your head, frowning. “Tae’s not like that. Honestly, it was just a bad move on my part, hoping that he would give some generic gift suggestion that would let slip what he really wants. Tae is too thoughtful to get people generic gifts. He puts his heart and soul into the presents he buys for others.”

Reaching over, Irene pinches your cheek lightly as she coos at you, “Awww, you’re so in love with him. I can feel the cavities forming.”

“Pretty sure those are from the hot chocolate with extra marshmallows you love so much,” you say, tipping your chin in a gesture to the mug in her hands.

Irene sticks her tongue out and takes an extra large sip in typical defiance.

As much as you mock Irene for her love for Lifetime holiday movies and hot chocolate, you do have to admit that there’s a certain appeal to it. Curled up on the lumpy couch in Taehyung’s apartment, cupping the hot beverage in your hands, even the uneven lumpiness of the cheap piece of furniture begins to feel comfortable.

The entire room is dark, save for the glow of the television. Taehyung has always insisted that this is the best way to watch movies. Maybe it’s a good thing your makeshift decorations on the christmas tree -- still standing proudly in the corner of the room -- didn’t include christmas lights after all.

Outside, the snowfall has gotten pretty intense, the temperature dipping significantly compared to the previous few days. It is well and truly winter, the cold showing no mercy to anyone who wasn’t prepared for it. You’re thankful to be inside and with a nice hot drink.

But as the film runs on, you get so engrossed in the plot that you don’t even realize you’ve finished your drink till you drain the last of it. Oh.

Looking over at Taehyung, you could always request for more and you know he’d be more than happy to make you another cup. But the movie is at its climax and the way his eyes are glued to the screen, his mouth slightly agape with how invested he is in the film, you can’t bring yourself to interrupt him now. So you try to ignore the way the cold begins nipping at your fingertips.

Soon enough though, the once warm mug that was a pleasant source of heat became stiff cold ceramic between your equally stiff fingers. Scrunching your toes, you wish you’d thought to bring an extra pair of socks over, especially when you think about the pair of socks you’d stuffed into your boots, soggy and cold with melted ice. A shiver runs through you at the thought.

“Are you cold?” Taehyung asks, and you jump. You didn’t realize he’d noticed.

“Yeah, a little.”

He pouts. “Why didn’t you say something sooner? C’mere,” he says, and lifts the edge of his blanket, revealing his plaid pants and sweatshirt combination.

Crawling in quickly, you tell yourself that you’re only complying because you know he’ll put up a fight if you don’t, and you don’t want the cold air getting into the cocoon of warmth he’s created with his blanket. Not because you’re excited to snuggle up with Tae. Definitely not. But now that you’re here, you may as well make the most of it, you figure.

Taehyung yelps as you press your icy toes to his warm thigh. Your arms wind their way around him, desperately seeking out the warmth of his body heat. Nuzzling lightly into the crook of his neck, you sigh, finally getting some relief from the cold.

The tiniest of groans escapes him. Then, a tight gasp. Stiffening, you peer up at Taehyung carefully.

He’s turned to look at you too, his attention that was once rapt by the movie now focused directly on you with equal intensity. Nervous energy accumulates within you and your heart rate skyrockets, now keenly aware of every hard plane of his body against yours. The logical part of you regrets the way you launched yourself at him and gave no regards for personal space. But you’re only dimly aware of that. The part of you that just wants Taehyung, the part that you’ve kept under lock and key, now fights against the restraints you’ve tied yourself into, unravelling you. You gnaw at your lip unsurely, and you watch as Taehyung’s gaze drops to your lips, heavy-lidded as they linger there, then darting back up to meet yours head-on.

The hand that he has on your hip grips you a little tighter, and you clutch the front of his sweatshirt in response. Your heart is pounding now, and the headiness of it all makes you feel swirly. Is he leaning clo-

Slam!

Both of you jump. The noise from the film startles you both, and you accidentally head butt Taehyung’s chin in the midst of it. He yelps in pain.

“I’m so sorry!” You frantically rub the spot to soothe it. “Are you ok?”

He laughs it off in his usual carefree manner. “Yeah, I’m good.”

“You sure? It doesn’t hurt?”

“It’ll be fine in a bit,” he says, pulling you into his chest, his warmth emanating from his chest to your back in a comforting manner. “Let’s continue watching the movie.”

With his arms wound around you, you wonder if he can feel the way your heartbeat continues to beat erratically. If he does, he says nothing about it. And underneath you, you can feel clearly how his heartbeat matches yours in its stuttering pace. But you say nothing about it. Not for the duration of the movie, not when it ends, not when you stand to leave, and not when he wishes you goodnight at the door.

The next day, you wake up with thoughts of yesterday sending your mind into a spiralling whirlpool. You decide it’s time to make an emergency call.

Also, it’s five days to Christmas and you still haven’t thought of a suitable gift for Taehyung.

“Hello?” comes a chirpy voice over the line.

“Jiminie!”

“____! What’s up?”

“Listen, I need your help. It’s about the secret santa thing.”

“What about it?”

“I need a suggestion for a gift for your best friend.”

Jimin chuckles. “Isn’t he also your best friend?”

“Well, yes, but…”

You take him through your original plan to covertly ask Taehyung what he would like by asking what would make a good gift, and how it got completely derailed, to which Jimin just laughed. And then your discussion with Irene on finding something that has been a constant in his life. Since you’re on the phone with Jimin, you take the chance to rant about your annoyance with yourself at not foreseeing Taehyung’s thoughtfulness and the personalized gift suggestions that he’s been giving you.

“____,” Jimin interrupts you mid-rant. “The answer is right in front of you.”

“What do you mean?”

“Maybe your plan didn’t really fail. If Tae is suggesting personalized gifts, then…” he trails off meaningfully.

You gasp. “Oh. You’re absolutely right, Jimin, you genius!”

“This was your own plan, ____.” He chuckles. “Now as for what has been constant in his life… Do you really not realize?”

Oh.

“Jimin, you’re a genius, y’know that?”

“So I’ve been telling everyone.”

“Ok, I gotta go now,” you say, excitement zipping through you as your mind fills abuzz with different ideas now that Jimin has set you on the path.

“Seeya on the 25th, you dork.”

“See you!”

Belatedly, you realize you missed out on telling Jimin about what had happened the day prior. But you shrug it off, figuring that you could tell him about it another time.

---

But as it turns out, you don’t. The hectic rush of preparations for Christmas keep you and your friends so busy, you’re thankful everyone’s blocked out Christmas night for each other or you’d just miss each other completely otherwise.

Days on from the eventful movie night you had with Taehyung, the distance has already caused the memories of the night to go slightly fuzzy. You wonder if it had really even happened, or if you were just overthinking everything as per usual.

And since Taehyung never brought it up, your friendship carrying on in the easy status quo, it was simple enough to chalk it up to your own imagination.

The rush towards Christmas keeps itself up even till Christmas day itself. You’re huffing a little as you squeeze yourself and your grocery bags through the doorway of Taehyung’s apartment. The lopsided feeling of your beanie sitting askew on your head is just one part of your disheveled state right now.

“Tae!” You set the bags down and replace the spare key in its hiding place. “I’m here!”

He comes bursting out of his room and running over to help you with the bags. “Is it time to bake?” His tone is bright and shimmering with anticipation. Baking Christmas cookies with each other’s families was a tradition the two of you grew up with, and a tradition you both intended to keep even while away from your hometown.

Pulling the cookie cutters out of the bag, you wave them with a grin. “Shall we? We still have to prepare dinner after this and make sure we log onto Zoom on time too.”

The afternoon is filled with a flurry of flour and butter and sugar, cookie cutters and oven mitts, and a whole lot of messy icing. You pipe out a beautiful blue and white star, if you do say so yourself, taking pride in the baking skills you’ve honed over the past twenty years. Meanwhile, Taehyung scribbles Yeontan on a star-shaped cookie of his own. He adds this to his collection of alien cookies and rabbits on the moon.

When you’re both done decorating and the icing is left to set, you get to work on dinner. It’s a simple affair, just some mashed potatoes that you set Taehyung to work on, some lightly roasted veggies, and a rotisserie chicken from the supermarket in place of the usual Christmas turkey your families would normally have.

Grabbing plates to serve up your dinner, you can hear the chorus of hellos from the living room as Taehyung sets up his laptop to join the Zoom call. It fills you with a warmth you didn’t know you were missing, the cacophony of noise from your friends still as familiar as it always is even though it’s filtered through the speakers on the laptop. If anything, it may even be more chaotic than ever, with everyone speaking over each other, the social cues becoming even harder to read over the virtual platform.

When you finally enter the room with your two plates, the noise only gets louder, everyone shouting to greet you. You say a quick hi and slip back into the kitchen to get the tray of cookies to show off to the rest over the webcam.

You take your place next to Taehyung, seating yourself next to him in a similar cross-legged position, your knees knocking together as you both squeeze to get into frame together. Memories of the movie night come back to you, but Taehyung seems unfazed. Feigning calmness, you try to focus on the ongoing exchange instead.

The conversation drives itself, years of friendship and months spent apart from each other fuelling the chatter. With small talk on how Christmas day was for everyone, quick catch-ups on how everyone’s doing, inside jokes and references to shared experiences of the past, the atmosphere feels just like that one year you all went on a camping trip together and sat around the bonfire on the final night, swapping stories and jokes in a breezy fashion.

Just as the conversation slips into an easy placidity, Hoseok suggests you all move on to the secret santa bit of the night.

That’s when you gasp. Amidst the manic pace of the day and its activities, you’d forgotten to retrieve your present from where you’d stowed it in your apartment. In the same way that you treated Taehyung’s apartment like your own, so was your apartment to him. Taehyung could walk into your apartment any moment, whether you were present or not, and you needed to find a good secret place for your present. Stashing your prepared present in an unused cupboard in the kitchen, you remember commending yourself for having found such a great hiding spot. Turns out, it was so excellently hidden that even you had forgotten about it till this very moment.

But your internal struggle and the guilt that plagued you went unbeknownst to the rest, each taking turns to open their presents. A whole range of reactions and sound effects went on, Hoseok thanking Taehyung for his gifted sunglasses with such sincerity that transcended the boundaries of the webcam and screen. Yoongi had bought Jin a new fishing reel, and the boys were in the midst of discussing their next fishing trip.

But it was Namjoon’s reaction and the chaos that ensued that truly had you relaxing a little from your anxious-frustrated-guilty state.

“Snacks? And wet wipes?” Namjoon’s expression is incredulous as he pulls the items out of the brown paper bag. “Who’s giving me all these freebies?!”

“FREEBIES?!” Next to Namjoon, Jin smacks the table, causing him to jump. “I’ll have you know that those snacks were selected after careful observation, and I even went so far as to scout out for the specific brand you like and some even required shipping from elsewhere because the grocery stores near us didn’t stock it, and I got you wet wipes because you’re always spilling things, or maybe you could use them after you’re done snacking while on the go, but you still have the AUDACITY to call it FREEBIES?!”

At the sight of Jin gone red in the face, the snickers that the rest of you had been holding in came bursting out.

“Ok, I think we’re the last two to open our gifts,” Taehyung says, reading the room and moving on quickly before Jin could get even more agitated. “____, this is yours from your secret santa.”

Ripping open the wrapping paper swiftly, you find a brown leather-bound journal with your initials embossed on them in gold.

“Oh! This is beautiful,” you gush. “And since we’re the last two, this must be from Jimin!”

Even through the screen, the sight of your friend’s smile, eyes all scrunched up with the sincerity of it, has your heart swelling.

“And that means… that I’m your secret santee!” Taehyung gasps. “No way. And this whole time I was calling you a bad liar.”

He rambles on, explaining to the rest about your sly method of attempting to discreetly ask him what he might like for Christmas. The whole time, you’re chewing on your lip, trying to find the right moment to interject and explain what’s happened.

“Ok! So,” Taehyung finally pauses, looking at you expectantly, “I’m ready for my present!” His hands are cupped and ready to receive the present… that will not make it to him tonight.

You place your hands in his, lowering them gently and taking in his obvious confusion. “I’m so sorry, Tae, I left your present back at home. I promise I’ll bring it over tomorrow! Or you can come over after this to grab it if you want.”

“Oh,” he says, puppy dog pout hitting you full-force with guilt. “But I still want a gift now, so…”

Grasping your hands that are still in his, he tugs you forward into his chest, and plants a soft kiss on your lips.

Silence. Both from your brain, and from everyone around.

It lasts for two seconds -- your group of friends has never found it easy to shut up after all -- and then it’s an eruption, pulling you back to the reality that the two of you are not alone.

You can hear Jungkook screaming, “GROSS!” and Namjoon yelling in confusion. But Jimin’s tinkling laughter, filled with unmistakable joy, cuts through the noise along with a raspily muttered, “It’s about fucking time.” from Yoongi.

In the background, you hear Jungkook asking, “Waaaait, so does this mean that Seokjin has to give Namjoon a kiss now too?” and Jin’s immediate, “NO!”

The noise jump starts your brain back into motion. You attempt to pull away from Taehyung, highly aware that your friends are subject to witnessing all of this, but he tugs you back, anchoring you to him with an arm wrapped firmly around your waist. The laughter from the laptop speakers turns into cries of outrage and then an abrupt return to silence with a click, and you realize that Taehyung must have closed his laptop, ending the Zoom call.

Looping your arms around Taehyung’s shoulders, you begin to respond to his kiss, eyelids fluttering closed. It’s new, it’s electrifying. But it’s also like something deep inside has finally clicked, like you’ve finally arrived. You’re home.

“Did you know?” you ask. “About me having feelings for you?”

“Yeah,” Taehyung admits. Heat rises to your cheeks at that, and you hide your face in his chest. Now that you don’t have to be seated on the floor to be in frame for the Zoom call, the two of you opted to move to the lumpy but still much more comfortable couch.

The gentle strokes of his hand in your hair is familiar and comforting, reminding you of the infinite patience he’s always shown to you. It’s a reminder that this is Taehyung. The boy you grew up with through thick and thin. Your best friend. And that gives you the boldness to continue despite your embarrassment.

“How? And when?”

“Honestly,” he trails off slightly, in thought, “I think it was Samantha who made me realize it.”

A pang of jealousy hits you. But you’re immediately wondering if it’s even warranted, now that you guys are… Well, what exactly are you? You make a mental note to clarify that.

“She was jealous, y’know,” he continues. “Didn’t want to say it at first, and tried to put up with it because she understood that our friendship is not something she could just expect me to give up.

“But it got to a point where things just couldn’t go on any longer. What she initially saw as discomfort that she would learn to overcome with time, soon became an awareness that the two of us were crossing the line of just friends, even if we hadn’t realized it at the time.”

Taehyung sighs, causing you to look at him. He smiles down at you, and skims your cheek with his thumb affectionately. “Maybe it’s because you’ve been here by my side all my life, that it was such a gradual thing and neither of us really realized it.”

“Yeah,” you mumble. “It was only after you began dating her that I realized how not okay with that I was. I thought it was just me being the possessive best friend trying to get used to having to share you. But then I realized I didn’t just want my best friend back. I wanted what she had.”

Swallowing hard, you remember the bitterness of the jealousy you felt back then, and that still recurs from time to time.

“What about you then? How did you come to recognize your feelings?” you ask.

“Samantha made me face up to them.” There’s a faraway look in his eyes. “One day she laid it all out, about us being more than just friends. And when I denied it, she asked me, would I choose you over her if I were forced into making that decision. The answer very nearly rolled straight off my tongue. And that was when I knew.”

“Is that why you broke up?” you ask. Taehyung nods. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, you silly girl.” He boops you on the nose. “I’m just thankful that Samantha was as understanding as she was about it. I think that’s why it took me a long time to get over it -- knowing that I’d hurt someone as wonderful as she is with my own blind ignorance.”

“And you too,” he says, leaning down to lay a soft peck on your lips. “I hated knowing that I’d hurt you because of my lack of awareness of my own feelings. That’s why I had to take my time this time around, to make sure that I know for sure.”

“Do you know for sure now?”

“Yes,” he says, holding your gaze with seriousness that has you swimming in its depths. “I’m yours now. Purely and fully.”

When you returned to your apartment the next morning, Irene was waiting to grill you on your whereabouts. It didn’t escape her notice that you hadn’t come back to the apartment the previous night, and she joked about how the vacant rooms in Taehyung’s apartment probably didn’t matter because you could always spend the night sharing his bed anyway.

And when you, blushing madly but holding your own nonetheless, informed her that she was right, well, you should have anticipated her squeals of excitement. “Tell me everything!” she had demanded.

You also should have anticipated the endless teasing that she would put the two of you through, especially in the Christmas season. After a trip out to the stores, finally taking a break from her Lifetime holiday movies marathon, she’d returned with copious amounts of mistletoe to hang all around the apartment, insisting the two of you make up for lost time.

But what Irene doesn’t need to know is just how much the two of you agree with her. Stealing a tiny sprig of mistletoe from around the house -- there’s so much that she wouldn’t even notice anyway -- you pack it into one of the clear baubles you’d bought for Taehyung’s Christmas present, nestling it into the box alongside the other clear baubles that were customized with pictures of the two of you.

[truthofherdreams]

is this clickbait? (1)

also on ao3 + read the first instalment

SURPRISING MY GIRLFRIEND’S SISTER WITH A SHIBA PUPPY!!

Peter Kavinsky • 3.5M views • 4 days ago

 “Hello Catherine,” he greets her the moment she opens the front door, putting the camera in her face to distract her from what is happening in his minivan behind her.

Thankfully for him, Kitty eats this shit up as the resident extrovert of the Song-Covey household. “Well hello there, Vogue.”

“Are you ready to answer 72 questions?”

“Sure, let’s go!”

Lara Jean was the one to submit the idea, to have an excuse for Kitty to parade in front of the camera without her suspicions being raised. Peter can’t believe it’s working so well – she accepted the idea immediately and even pitched him questions he could ask her, to the point where he actually kinda feel bad about tricking her into believing all of this shit is real.

Kinda. Not really though.

“Where are we exactly?”

“This is the house where Lara Jean and I live and work. Pretty, right?”

“Amazing,” he agrees, playing along. “So, what’s your favourite thing about video editing?”

“Having a special folder for bloopers,” she replies with an easy grin. She’s apparently been compiling bloopers about him too, and he’s not exactly looking forward to what she’ll do with the footage. “But mostly the storytelling process. How editing and music can change an entire video.”

“Any interesting projects beside LJ’s cooking videos we should know about?”

“Maaaaybe,” she teases. She sent an application for a film school last week, but the information isn’t public yet, not until she gets an acceptance letter. “I’m working with Chris on her gaming videos, too.”

“Woah, that sounds fun!”

By now they’ve made it to the kitchen, Lara Jean in the right corner of his camera, sitting at the island with her laptop. He winks at her and she grins back. He wonders how long it will take before people comment on that – probably five minutes.

“Are you ready for a little dare?” he asks, focusing back on Kitty.

Bless her little kitten heart, she doesn’t notice anything wrong yet, simply offering him and smile and a shrugs as she exclaims, “Sure!”

With the hand not holding the camera, he grabs the small scarf tucked into the back pocket of his jeans and shows it to her. “I need you to lie down on the floor and put that on your eyes.”

She freezes.

Her face falls.

“What’s this? David fucking Dobrik?”

Peter can’t help but laugh out loud, especially with how Lara Jean is laughing too now. So much for keeping this video PG, thank you very much Little Covey.

“What is it? Is it a spider? Is it a snake? Is it a spider?! Cause we found out I’m allergic to spider bites when we were in Korea so–”

“It’s not a spider,” he replies, trying but mostly failing to be serious. She cracks him up so much. “Just cover your eyes, okay?”

“I hate you,” she states coolly, even as she snatches the scarf from him and wraps it around her head. Immediately, Lara Jean dashes outside to help Gabe. “I hate you so fucking much.”

Still, she sits down on the floor of the dining room, arm stubbornly crossed over her chest, and pouts in his general direction, before she lies down. She doesn’t move, only startles a little when the front door slams – well done, guys – but otherwise doesn’t even reach for the piece of fabric above her eyes.

Gabe shows up with the puppy, the cutest little furball he’s ever seen in his life, all roasted marshmallow levels of adorable. Gabe moves closer to Kitty, whose head moves at the sound. Thankfully, the puppy doesn’t whine.

“Okay, we’re gonna put it on you so don’t be scared.”

Which is exactly the opposite of what she does, wiggling a little as she gets herself worked up again. “I don’t care that you’re dating my sister, if it’s a snake I’m going to – oh my GOD, PETER, WHAT IS IT?” She breaks into a scream when Gabe drops the puppy on her chest.

The puppy starts sniffing around, wet nose against her neck, and she yelps again. Even Lara Jean is losing it now, leaning against Peter for support. He doesn’t even think twice about it when he wraps his arm around her shoulders and pulls her closer to him.

“Okay, open your eyes.”

She all but ripes the scarf from her face, only to freezes at the sight of the puppy’s face so close to her face. It sniffs her a little, then licks her chin, but she’s too shocked to properly react.

“It’s a puppy,” she says, slowly.

“She’s about to cry,” Lara Jean whispers, low but now low enough that the camera won’t catch it. “Just watch.”

Kitty is sitting up, puppy now in her arms, and she looks up at Peter with wet eyes. If she starts crying he might do too, and it’s only going to end up messy and overly emotional.

“Merry Christmas, Little Covey.”

“You got me a puppy?!”

And then, yeah. She’s crying. Big tears and loud sobs, hugging the puppy to her as it licks her face and whines happily at being cuddles. Its little tail won’t stop wiggling, which is the cutest.

Lara Jean laughs, and it comes out wet too. When he looks down at her, she has tears in her eyes. He kisses her temple without really thinking about it, holding her a little bit closer.

“Do you like her?” he asks Kitty.

“It’s a girl?” she asks back, holding the puppy up to check. “This is so much better than a spider!”

 CovinskyIsLove 5 hours ago

like if you’re crying

View 15 replies v

 HearMeRoar 3 days ago

when lj started crying too and peter comforted her i felt that

View 8 replies v

 groffsauce 2 days ago

My sister’s boyfriend is a dirtbag who doesn’t even pay for their dates and this motherfucker gave Kitty a puppy? What the shit???

View 15 replies v

…

 QUEER IS THE WORD

Lucas Krapf • 1.8M views • 5 days ago

 “So people have been blowing my mentions since last video because of point three seconds of Peter and LJ in the background,” Lucas announces to his camera, one hand holding it while the other rises to rub against his hair. “And people keep asking if they really are that cute all the time. So, here. Look what we have to deal with on a daily basis.”

He’s walking toward the kitchen now, where most of the gang is gathered. Unsurprisingly, Peter and Lara Jean are side by side, bodies glued to each other. It’s nothing unlike what has been going on during the past few months, but Lucas still noticed the slight differences since New Year’s Eve – they’re more comfortable around each other, especially LJ. It’s almost unnoticeable, especially when you don’t know they were faking it before that. But Lucas knows. And he notices.

“Look at that,” he exclaims, camera zooming in on Peter’s hand in the back pocket of LJ’s jeans, like it’s the most natural thing in the world to do. Which, it isn’t. They’re the only two idiots in this world to be that lovely cosy with each other all. the. freaking. time. “What kind of heterosexual nonsense?”

LJ and Peter both turn at the same time, and his camera zooms out and moves up to capture their twin expressions of surprise. Peter’s hand still hasn’t moved, because they’re disgusting like that.

“Who are you calling heterosexual?” Peter asks.

Chris lets out the uglier, loudest cackle in the history of humanity, because that’s just how Chris rolls on a daily basis. Homegirl has no sense of modesty or etiquette, she’s wired like that. And he loves her for it. “Peter Pan!” she exclaims, holding her hand up for Peter to high five.

“Peter Pan!” he replies in the same loud, cheerful voice, hand slapping hers above the kitchen island. He turns back to Lucas then, more serious. “But don’t film my girlfriend’s butt, thanks.”

“Why?” LJ asks, falsely innocent. “It looks great on camera.”

Lucas cuts on Peter’s dumbfounded face and another cackle from Chris.

 …

 Calling Chris’s bedroom a “bedroom” really is about semantics. Like, yes there is a single bed in a corner, so technically it qualifies. But Chris’s room is her video games room, first and foremost. Her TV setting takes over most of the space, what with how many consoles she owes. Two full walls are floor-to-ceiling shelves of video games in their boxes, Funko Pops and other geeky paraphernalia. There’s her computer and her gaming chair in a corner. More cameras and recording material than Lucas knows what to do with it. So, really. Not a bedroom.

And the best thing is, she always has snacks for when she’s playing and for when people are playing with her. She’s taken to stocking Pocky boxes for LJ, next to her own gummy bears. Freaking adorable, how close those two girls are now. Like sisters. White and Asian sisters.

They’re playing Mario Kart, and Lucas is just filming, ‘cause he’s bored and he needs content. LJ getting competitive over nothing is always fun, not to mention clickbaity. So yeah, Mario Kart, camera, Japanese snacks. The best of the best.

Chris is getting worked up over the Rainbow Road, like you do, when her phone starts lighting up like a Christmas tree. Which is weird – she’s usually so very good at not having her phone around when she’s playing, because it keeps her focused not to have to worry about her notifications. The only times she purposefully has her phone around is when she’s doing a special Twitch live and she needs to check her donations.

So Lucas’s attention zooms in on her phone, obviously. “Who’s Veronica?” he asks.

It’s an innocent enough question, but Chris tenses and LJ is distracted enough that her Yoshi falls down the Rainbow Road. “Wait, Veronica Veronica? RomanticRonny Veronica?”

Chris does a very bad job of pretending to be chill, her eyes never leaving the TV screen but her shoulders tense as shit, her knuckles white around her controller. “Yeah, we’re texting,” she replies, fake casual. Damn.

“Didn’t she make a come-out video like, three months ago?” Lucas asks, just to watch her squirm. He can always edit this part out if Chris asks him to, that’s chill. She’s just as open with her sexuality as Peter and Lucas are, but it doesn’t mean he will post about her crush if she doesn’t want him to. Privacy and all that, they’re pretty good at this stuff with each other.

“Did she now?” Chris replies-asks, with a shrug. Bad Acting 101. “Not that it matters or shit.”

“She’s texting again,” Lucas points out, when her phone lights up again.

“How about you shut up, Krapf?”

He only laughs.

 SapphoBitch 2 hours ago

is2g if any of you comes with a ‘queer is a slur’ because of the title i’m going to cut a bitch bc Peter identified as pan AND queer in his coming out video and Lucas and Chris are both chill with it too so stfu u ignorant terf-sounding assholes

View 39 replies v

 Song Bakery ✓ 4 days ago

7 billion people in the world to choose from and he picked me. Of course I am okay with that aspect of Peter’s identity, why wouldn’t I be?

View 73 replies v

 PizzaSlut 3 days ago

we stan one (1) progressive, unproblematic squad

View 9 replies v

 …

 Who knows me better? challenge (boyfriend vs sister)

Song Not-Bakery • 3.7M views • 2 days ago

 “Hi everyone and welcome to my second channel!” Lara Jean greets the camera with a little wave. “It was a long time coming, and it’s all because those two right there bullied me into doing it.”

“Kindly,” Peter clarifies. “We bullied her kindly.”

“Cause that makes it so much better,” she tells him, forcing herself not to grin when he wrinkles his nose at her adorably. This man will be her undoing. “Anyway, it’s all Kitty and Peter’s fault and they’re both extra competitive, so what better way that to start this channel than with a competition about me?”

“Which I’m going to win, because I’ve known her the longest,” Kitty chimes in.

“We’ll see about that,” Peter replies, hand already hovering above one of the two call bells Lara Jean bought for the occasion. Peter was playing with it for ten minutes before they even started filming, and she made a mental note to hide them well once they’re done, for her own sake.

“Each question gives you one point,” Lara Jean explains, all business, ignoring how Kitty and Peter are flexing and silently talking shit at each other from across the table. Most competitive people she knows, indeed. “And the winner gets one favour from the loser, as long as it’s decent.”

“Peter buying me Taco Bell every day for a moooonth,” Kitty singsongs.

“And healthy.”

“Peter buying me by Chloe every day for a moooooonth,” Kitty amands.

“Better,” Lara Jean replies, while Peter tries his hardest not to burst into laughter, all tight-lips and puffed cheeks. “Okay, get ready! Question one! What’s my Hogwarts house?”

Kitty hits the bell so fast it flies across the table. “Hufflepuff!”

“Point Covey!” Lara Jean agrees. “Which movie did I quote in my high school yearbook?”

Peter and Kitty share a look, before he tentatively rings the bell. “Amélie?”

“Correct! Point Kavinsky,” she replies, smiling at his preening.

“How do you even know that?” Kitty asks him, suspicious.

“Your dad showed me all your embarrassing childhood pictures,” he replies with an easy shrug. They went to visit two months ago for her dad’s birthday, his official meeting with Peter. Which went really well for the two of them, not so well for Lara Jean when he dad got all the family albums out. She had to steal Peter’s phone from him so he wouldn’t do anything stupid, like share with the world. “You look cute with pigtails, by the way.”

Kitty pokes her tongue out at him.

“What’s my birthday?”

They both attack the bell, but Kitty is faster. “May 15th.”

“Point Covey. What’s my favourite colour?”

Peter is faster. “Blue.” Then, turning to the camera, “And she looks super pretty in blue.”

Lara Jean barely manages to hide her blush behind a laugh as she moves on the the next question. As expected, Kitty and Peter get more and more worked up with each question, yelling their answers and sending the bell flying more than once. She can’t help but laugh when Kitty throws herself above the table to try and steal Peter’s bell, to prevent him from winning. He holds it above his head, too high for her to reach even when she jumps.

They go on like that for half an hour, Lucas keeping track of points behind the camera and holding his laughter back all through filming. Not all heroes wear capes, after all. She’s almost done with her questions when he shows her the mini whiteboard, announcing 12 points each.

“Okay, it’s a tie, so last question to win the game.”

Kitty points to her eyes with two fingers, then to Peter, then to her eyes again. Both their hands hover over the bell, ready to pounce on it. The tension is thick in the room.

“Who’s my dream guy?”

Peter yells the answer before he even hits the bell, “Gilbert Blythe!” Then, ignoring Kitty’s look of pure disbelief and horror, he turns toward the camera with a smirk that shouldn’t be quite as smug as it is, given what he is talking about. “Because he’s smart, and handsome, and loyal, which makes him Lara Jean’s dream Hufflepuff boy. Kavinsky out!”

“Kavinsky win!” she agrees, grabbing his wrist to hold it like he just won a boxe match instead of a little Youtube competition.

Kitty makes a big deal of pouting and folding her hands on her chest, the perfect image of a sulking child. It only makes Peter laugh harder, of course, because he can be a real jerk when he puts his mind to it. Not a mean jerk, but he knows how to push Kitty’s buttons, how to make her snap just enough to make it entertaining to everyone involved, even Kitty.

“So that’s it for today, guys. Check out Peter’s channel and Kitty’s Instagram account, links in the description, and don’t forget to like and subscribe for more videos like this one! Bye bye!”

 CovinskyIsLove 2 hours ago

Smart, loyal and handsome? Wonders who that describes perfectly hmm hmmmmmm… Not fooling anyone, LJ!

View 19 replies v

 TeenageNinjaTurtle 9 hours ago

Kitty is so fucking hilarious she needs to be in all the vlogs! More Kitty!

View 6 replies v

 MrsKavinsky 2 days ago

The Gods of Youtube have listened and given us LJ’s second channel, we are so blessed!

View 12 replies v

[seungcheolrk]

camera, lights, vlive.

february 23rd, 2019: convex’s first vlive. featuring the throwback harmonica. 

truthfully, and unsurprisingly, the whole concept of their first vlive terrifies him. being so structured, so formal, seungcheol feels like there’s an added pressure on his shoulders to be interesting and engaging and given that this will be the first time he’s referred to as rap unit leader in public, too, he can’t help but feel nervous. he can’t imagine anyone wouldn’t feel nervous in his shoes— in convex’s shoes, since this is their first public appearance since rome’s departure, too. it’s a lot of firsts and a lot of expectations and a lot of what ifs but it’s here and he’s waiting, bright but scared smile on his face in anticipation as the mc gets to his introduction. 

( he takes not tripping as he walks out and bows in greeting as a victory. small, but a victory nonetheless. ) 

his aforementioned gummy smile is on show as he wanders in following his introduction ( and first recognition as rap unit leader ) from the mc, bowing deeply as he takes his name badge and wiggles a little to the music. he doesn’t overdo it, doesn’t want to look silly or embarrass himself so early on in the live show, and thankfully there’s a wide berth between stiff and robotic and dear god, how do we undebut choi seungcheol? so he thinks he’s got things reasonably in the bag so far. the other members cheer and the mc is smiling and he didn’t hold his name tag upside down ( nor put it on the wrong way up ) so really, everything is going as well as possible. 

unfortunately, with that, he wholly expects things to go downhill, but he tries to stay positive. 

it’s odd only having three members from the rap unit to introduce, and he thinks rome’s absence still weighs on them quite a lot and will do for a while. even in such a big group, one member leaves such a large gap that seungcheol feels as if it’s impossible not to notice it or focus on it. he dreads to think what the comments will be like, dreads to think what people have to say about him being a leader now when they have barely heard him say three sentences since he debuted, but he tries not to think about it. they’re careful not to mention the missing thirteenth member, or anything about the ‘scandal’ and he trusts that when they start reacting to comments in a bit they won’t read any that reference it. after all, this is their first vlive. this is supposed to be a joyous occasion; a new beginning and a promise of many more live shows to come. why would anyone want to bring the mood down by reminding them of everything they’re trying to ignore? why would they want to bring up an artist they ( reportedly ) kicked from the label? 

he distracts himself laughing at some joke he doesn’t really hear from the mc, nods as they introduce the next segment.

his passion for this broadcast. since it would be convex’s first ever, he’d thought of writing something about them doing well and taking care of one another, thought about setting a goal of so many hearts and promises to return the love to fans with their future activities and releases, but in the end he settles on the former. at a time like this, seungcheol thinks sharing love between the members and fans is the best thing he can do. let’s love! he writes, let’s show our charm today and return all the hearts fans give!! convex fighting!! the mc doesn’t read every comment, but it’s there on screen for fans and the members to read regardless. 

when the time comes for syllable poems, he does his best to be quiet and unnoticeable. words have never been his speciality and he’d only make a fool of himself stumbling over not only his confident speech but a poorly thrown together poem, too. thankfully with so many members, it makes it easy for him to fade into the background when he wants or needs to, yet still come back into the foreground with everyone else when they spend a little time hearing comments left by viewers. it’s kind of surreal to him that so many are watching live, spending their time looking at them through a computer or phone screen and sending them love and queries to answer. he knew these things would happen, he’s a fan of plenty of groups himself, but when it’s you, your group, it’s something else entirely. 

as they tease their comeback, he’s reminded of the strict rules they’re on not to spoil anything. teasing is one thing, but they aren’t to reveal concepts, titles, snippets— anything about the song itself. he daren’t think of what the consequences would be but even without them, he doesn’t think there’s any benefit to telling the world anything too revealing. the picture of them all grinning, talking over one another as they sneakily reveal something is in the works is bound to get fans more excited than the title of the track or a single line of lyrics. it always worked that way on him, anyway. 

more comments are read ( and more ‘thank you’s and finger hearts are given from seungcheol to the camera directly ahead of him even if he doesn’t understand anything in all the foreign languages his members are speaking so fluently ) before they jump into the unit performances. 

performing for the first time without rome is weird. it feels unnatural almost. after so long of having him there, even though they’ve distributed the song between them so no actual gaps are left, it still feels like something is missing at times. he knows it’ll take longer than a few weeks, maybe even longer than a few months, to get used to being twelve and three, but that doesn’t stop him from thinking about it obsessively every time he’s reminded. regardless, they have to do it and seungcheol has missed covering songs dearly ( mr chu last month was the first time in a long time, after all ) so he gives it his all, grins brightly and bows as they’re praised for a successful performance.

next, after what feels like forever, comes seungcheol’s favourite portion of the vlive — and what takes up the majority of their time here today — the idol coaching missions. they’re only silly challenges and tasks, the things that are apparently essential for convex to ‘fly higher’ in the years to come, but seungcheol feels a unfamiliar sense of excitement to get stuck in. 

nicknames are strange things, though. seungcheol had always been known as sphere’s scaredy cat and whilst once upon a time, he loved having his own identity and was proud of his eventual acceptance of his fears, now he wants to be more than the way he’ll jump scared at loud noises and flinch at sudden movements of the people around him. he wants to be convex’s reliable rap leader, convex’s gummy smile, convex’s nerd, even. when he thinks about it, though, he struggles to pull anything from the reaches of his mind that’s unique to him. he’s never lived anywhere but seoul, let alone been born elsewhere. he doesn’t have any talents outside of music ( unless you count his extensive knowledge of star wars and resulting jar jar binks impression ) and doesn’t have any particular characteristics that make him distinct besides the presence of his gums in his smile. he wants to be more than a smile, though. he wants to be remembered for being something other than quiet and fearful. he throws around some ideas relating to music but they all feel generic. most of their group plays piano and a great deal play guitar, too, but the more he thinks about it, the clearer it becomes that — as useless as it may be to an idol, especially so early in their career — he plays the most instruments, has the background in the music store, has spent years learning and loving western classical music and grandiose movie scores— hell, his father was even a classical violinist. it’s perfect, even if he does feel a little nervous about how big it sounds. 

“hello, e-everyone! i’m c-c-convex’s rap unit l-leader and maestro! please take care of me.” a chorus of ‘ooh’s and ‘ahh’s rings through the room as seungcheol is asked to explain his name. “I l-love learning d-different instruments! I want to m-master every instrument.” slipping in the meaning of the word, he giggles quietly. he then momentarily wonders whether or not he should keep talking while he can, make himself stand out a little more to anyone who might be watching that’s brushed over him before so he adds, “I’ve a-also always had an i-interest in western c-classical music and m-movie scores. e-everything comes together to make m-me convex’s maestro!” he grins, clapping his hands together as he raises his voice a little enthusiastically with his final word — his nickname. the members and mc react positively and seungcheol’s grin stays for the rest of the segment and as they transition into the second challenge: personal talents. 

at first, this stumps him, too. he doesn’t think he really has any talents outside of music that will capture anyone’s interest, but there’s nothing to say it has to be separate. nothing says he can’t do a jar jar binks impression ( besides his dignity ), but why do something so strikingly different when he could play with the cards he’s already dealt them? why not show why he deserves the title of convex’s maestro? 

“me? I’m going to show you a little harmonica!” really, he should’ve learnt the first time. he should’ve known after still facing the embarrassment in flashbacks for months after that the harmonica was a demonic instrument sent to this earth just to humiliate him but he still digs it out of his drawers earlier in the month and practises, brings it to the vlive to show them how good he’s gotten at the solo from isn’t she lovely two years later. he focuses himself entirely on it, as if he’s back on his own in the practice room with no pressure to get it perfect ( because that’s always when things are flawless; when no one is watching ). 

the reactions challenge is one he worries about a lot when it’s first proposed to them in planning. he isn’t by any means a ‘reaction king’ unless it involves being spooked and these situations aren’t likely to bless ( or curse? ) him in that way. when it comes to his turn, he’s called upon, asked to pretend the camera has caught him yawning, so he covers his face to laugh and ‘get into character’ as the members count him down. he should feel nervous with so many eyes on him, especially with what he’s about to do, but with aegyo, he rarely feels the level of embarrassment he’s used to. with an unusual ( at least, for shy choi seungcheol ) confidence, he opens his mouth and makes the most exaggerated yawning sound he possibly can before widening his eyes comically at the camera and reaching just past his lips to pull out a finger heart. his shoulders hunch and his eyes wrinkle as he grins, shoots more hearts as he laughs at the reactions around him. for once, he’s proud of himself, proud of the impression he’s made. maybe aegyo is truly the best way for him to make an impression off the stage, though he’s not sure how he feels about that either just yet. as much as he doesn’t want to be convex’s scaredy cat forever, he also doesn’t want to still be known for aegyo at the age of thirty. 

finally, with a few runs of their greeting and hearty advice from their experienced idol coach and mc, it’s time to wrap up. even though a couple hours have passed, he feels like he’s blinked and it’s over. they’ve covered so much, moved through so many segments and challenges and he feels how much they’ve accomplished but it still feels like it’s gone too fast. suddenly, they’re moving onto goodbyes in foreign languages, endless ‘thank you’s and expressions of gratitude to their mc and for the success of their first ever vlive from not only seungcheol but every member, deep bows and all varieties of hearts ( he even sneaks in an apple heart when he’s sure the camera will be a wide shot of all of them ) and any moment now, the cameras will shut off and the comments will stop flooding in and they’ll be back to rehearsing for their first comeback. first. there’s a lot of firsts happening lately but today’s firsts have been like ripping off a plaster — it hurts for a little while doing this without rome, it’s terrifying to him to be on camera and under so much pressure for a little while, but he knows that with time, that will fade and he will heal. he looks forward to their second vlive ( and hopes desperately that it’s a lot more relaxed than this one; where’s their liev? now that would be fun... ).

[thisiswhereifall]

Struggling to continue but I'm back

Hi! I'm back! Maybe not for long, but here I am!

College has been keeping me busy but I promise to do my best to keep contributing to this wonderful fandom. I love this ship so much, and it needs more art and fics. I'm proud of us, guys!

Anyway, I sort of mixed the prompts Secrets, Peanut Butter Cookies, and Headphones here to make up for lost time. Thank you all for your patience!

----------- o -----------

Keith wouldn't say that he actually had an idea of what's going on, but he did have one.

Keith normally never cared about anything that didn't involve fighting, war, or his identity and he still doesn't.

Keith had a habit of not setting issues aside and he does not intend to try solving a problem later on if it could be solved now.

Keith had an idea of what's going on, and even though he would never care about what comes of it, he will most definitely not just set it aside. It might affect teamwork, after all. Might.

And it all started with one simple question.

“Pidge, can I borrow your headphones?”

Keith usually didn't borrow anyone else's stuff. He'd prefer improvising his own method and equipment than owe anyone a favor, and it wasn't because he was cold and anti-social like the girl in front of him always says. He just wasn't used to kindness, being alone for most of his life. It could use some getting used to, now that he literally lived with a bunch of people unrelated to him in any shape or form – they were full human and he was not – and he would have to make a few adjustments to his lifestyle.

And although he will never admit it – and he doesn't plan to – he really missed music. It kept him company back on Earth, when he went for days with no one to talk to or care for him. Aside from training, Keith really liked music.

But he wasn't going to ask Coran or Allura to blast his favorite bands through Altean speakers. That would blow his cover and worse, get judged for his taste. Not like his taste was bad, he just knew that someone – namely, Lance – never fails to make fun of completely normal stuff.

So, he had no choice but to ask the only person he knew wouldn’t blabber about anything unnecessary.

“What do you need my headphones for?” Pidge's emphasis on the possessive pronoun made Keith cringe a little. He almost forgot that the girl values her equipment as if they were rare treasures(they are). Keith swallowed, and the two engaged in a staring contest when Pidge looked up from the machine she was building. Keith could feel Green's eyes on him, too, and he finally figured that he was, in reality, in the Green Paladin's territory.

He didn't break the eye contact, because he didn't want to seem nervous. “Uh, I…” Oh, great. He stuttered. “I just wanted to listen to something while training…” His voice lowered and he held his head low.

When Pidge eyed him, he already knew what her answer would be.

“That's… really a good thing to know. I didn't know you enjoyed music.” Pidge commented, and Keith almost yelled at her when she smirked mischievously. “But, uh, I…” Her voice trailed off, and she started adjusting her glasses. Keith knew – she was trying to find her words and was really nervous doing so.

As much as he wanted to listen to some music – and he just found out that Coran had access to Earth music earlier during breakfast talk – he felt bad making Pidge anxious. She was never really good with words. “You don't let anyone borrow your equipment.” The sentence came out colder than he expected it would.

Alarmed, Pidge's eyes widened in panic. “W-W-Wait! Okay, so maybe you're right, I don't let people borrow or touch my stuff, but I swear it's nothing personal, like, I like you, wait no! I only like you as a friend, nothing mushy or whatever, so it would be okay for you to borrow my things, but I just really feel uncomfortable when someone borrows my stuff and I swear I really like you – as a friend! Because I like someone else, and…”

Keith's ears perked up.

“Come again?” He immediately cut her off, and he could see the terror in her eyes while she tried to adjust her glasses frantically. Knowing that she wouldn't repeat any of the things she said, he decided to cut to the chase, as usual. “ You like someone?”

“I-It's not like that!” Keith was amused now. He had never seen Pidge so flustered before. Her confident façade faded and all he could see now was a girl who was desperately trying to hide her embarrassment. “I like him as a friend, too!”

Keith raised an eyebrow. If it was a friend, he was one hundred percent sure that the person was in this ship. After all, Pidge didn't seem like she had anyone she could call a friend before. Much like him.

Before he could push any further, Pidge turned away from him, working on her project once again. “Look, I'm really busy and sorry for the, uh, headphone thing. I need to finish this today, too.” And Keith left, deciding to ignore the fact that her hands were so sweaty and the tools kept slipping from her grasp.

Of course, that didn't stop him from training. For a while, he completely forgot about the earlier incident while he was facing the gladiator, not to mention, he lost interest quickly. It was a personal matter and he didn't want to pry any further into a silly thing.

That was until he and Hunk were sitting in the common room, and the door opened.

“Hey, Hunk, got any food in the kitchen?” Keith looked up to see a certain blue idiot by the door. Nothing special. Just Lance. He would ask Hunk for food every now and then, and this was normal.

Except he came in wearing Pidge's headphones around his neck.

“Uh, I think I left some of the improvised peanut butter stuff thing on the table.” Hunk answered. “We also have the alien bread that Coran really liked. He got a whole bunch of them from the Space Mall.” The Yellow Paladin quickly followed up. Lance tilted his head, confusion written all over his face.

“I don't really like peanut butter. Did you know peanuts cause acne? Not having any of that.” Keith blinked at Lance as he talked. As the Blue Paladin rubbed his head and turned to leave, Keith opened his mouth to speak.

“Did you just take that without permission?” Keith's accusing voice caused Lance to turn around with a scowl on his face. Hunk looked back and forth between the two, puzzled.

“What?” Lance replied without delay, taken aback by the sudden random question from his rival. Keith didn't seem pleased about having to point out what exactly he was talking about, but he did nonetheless. Lance eyes narrowed when Keith raised a finger to point at him – was that his middle finger? – or not at him, but his neck.

And when Lance's hand traced the object around his neck, his scowl disappeared upon realization. “Excuse me? I asked her nicely and she told me it was okay.” He turned to leave again. “Besides, she lets me use it every night before going to bed.” And with that, Lance left, leaving Keith to wonder about what just happened.

Lance passed by the common room again soon after, holding a plate with two peanut butter(?) sandwiches as he went to enter the opposite hallway from the kitchen. Didn't he say he didn't like peanut butter? Huh.

Of course, Keith knew there was something weird going on, but he hardly gave much thought on it. The days proceeded as normal, and the battles were won flawlessly – except that one time Hunk failed to break through an enemy barrier because he thought his Lion could, and Shiro had to save him from being melted by the nuclear material of the enemy defenses. The druids were getting more creative in their weapons.

Oh, and that one time, too.

It was just one little thing, no big deal. If Allura didn't say anything, Keith wouldn't notice – he was too busy maneuvering through the glaciers covered by the thick fog in the ice planet.

“I can't seem to find Lance. Paladins, the fog is interfering with the castle's sensors!” Allura's voice was glitching through the comms and Keith could tell that the Lion's sensors were also weakening. He immediately pulled on the controls, almost hitting a huge glacier, if not only for Red's agility.

“Lance—with me…--- found--- stuck in the – requ-- ck-up now!” Pidge's voice cut through the comms and it caught Keith's attention. “What?” He heard Shiro respond. Keith made a choice to fly up and out of the atmosphere, trying to receive the message.

“I said, Lance is with me! He found the prisoners stuck in a cave, we request back-up now!” Pidge's voice was loud and clear now, and Keith stopped himself from asking something entirely different.

Hunk beat him to it.

“You didn't split up? I thought we were supposed to split up. I go close to the ground, Keith would fly across the glaciers, Shiro and Pidge were supposed to fend off the incoming Galra ships, and Lance would--"

There was an air of awkward silence in the comms. It was a very short silence, almost unnoticeable, or maybe Keith was just overthinking things.

“Never mind that now, Paladins, we've got company!” Allura shouted, and a humongous blast caught everyone's attention. Without pressing on the issue further, they formed Voltron and took on the enemies with ease.

Nobody questioned anything further nor did the two receive scolding from either Shiro or Allura. It was like an unspoken message between all of them.

The next morning(?), a pissed-off Keith stormed out of the training room to drag out a certain Paladin who was late for training. As usual. As he neared Lance's room, the door opened before he could come close, and he didn't know why, but he hurriedly hid in a corner.

“Aw, come on, Pidge! That was my favorite song!” Lance's loud voice could be heard throughout the corridor, even though he was in his room. To Keith's surprise, it was Pidge who came out of the door, and to add up to his current surprise, Pidge was actually awake this early. Everyone knew how hard she worked every night, so they don't force her to train in the morning with them.

But here she was, striding out of Lance's room with her headphones on-hand. “Yeah, sure, Lance. Tell that to Shiro or Keith, whoever comes to your room to drag you to the training room first.” She answered with a smug smirk. “Besides, I need my headphones for something today.”

“You just want an excuse to see me this early every morning.” Lance retorted, unknowingly making Pidge's face as red as Keith's jacket. “After all, who could resist my charming bedroom voi—oof!” A jab to his stomach was enough to make him shut up.

“Whatever, Lance.” Pidge rolled her eyes.

Keith tiptoed away from the scene as quietly as he could. At least he now knows why everytime he or Shiro was about to pick Lance up, he was already awake before they could even knock.

[darkest-angels]

tagged by @taek-danada​ thanks, Rae!!

RULES: Complete the survey and say who tagged you in the beginning (see above). When you are finished tag people to do this survey. Have fun and enjoy!

1: ARE YOU NAMED AFTER SOMEONE?

nope

2: WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? 

well when i was making wonshik’s bday gifset, i did tear up a little because i was so proud of him, but full-on crying last happened when sanghyuk released 안아줄게 :3

3: DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? 

no, it’s really awful and messy and nobody can really read it but me and i have weird writing habits that shouldn’t exist like crossing my cursive capital V’s, only the V’s, not the W’s and that small line is literally the only thing that makes my cursive capital V’s different from my print V’s; i also cross my T’s and H’s from right to left instead of left to right even though i’m right handed??, my cursive M’s, N’s and U’s look the same and good luck to me and everyone reading my handwriting when i write down words like “communication” also my lowercase k’s and h’s look almost exactly the same, the only thing that’s different is the distance between certain lines and since from grade 1 you’re taught to write in cursive instead of print in my country i try to write hangul in cursive as well because i can’t really get away from writing in cursive which results in my hangul being horrible, too (i try to write prettily during tests and when i know the prof/teacher is going to read it and i’ve got praised for it before, but when i do homework or something i write just as messily) MY HANDWRITING IS THE WORST but i don’t really care much because i go for speed instead of appearance when writing

4: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? 

is lunch meat the same as cold cuts chicken or turkey, flavoured or nah it doesn’t matter just let it not be pork or something

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? 

6 of them i always refer to vixx as my kids, my family refers to them as my kids, my colleagues and friends refer to them as my kids i think this is settled

6: IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? 

no way lol

7: DO YOU USE SARCASM? 

yeah all the time (this is not that)

8: DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? 

yeah, last time i had tonsillitis and was dying from it the doctor was like “nah it’s only been 4 times you had tonsillitis, we don’t have to remove them lol”

9: WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? 

doesn’t really excite me  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

10: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF CEREAL? 

any kind of cereal with strawberries or any kind of red berries, tesco has this really awful red berry cereal and it tastes like sour dried fruits and parchment i love that one

11: DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? 

for sneakers, no, but for like boots or something i have to

12: DO YOU THINK YOU’RE A STRONG PERSON? 

i try to appear strong and i think i can maintain that image pretty well like i’m all anger and flames and harsh words on the outside but i’m really just crumbling and crying on the inside all the time haha yeah well. that sounds pitiful but it’s actually ok

13: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? 

lemon, but not the sorbet type, the good creamy type

14: WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? 

idk face??? probably their eyes

15: RED OR PINK? 

“RED, never pink” seconded

16: WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE PHYSICAL THING YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF?

oh god do i really need to choose idk first it’s my weight like i would stand on the scale 5 times a day to see how much more weight i need to drop but it’s been getting better there are days when i don’t hate myself for my body which is a huge thing and i mean i dropped more than 20kg in the last couple of years so if i can drop 6kg more i’ll be ok and other than my body it’s my nose, i really hate my nose, i broke it when i was 4 and it healed in an ugly way and now i have a bump on the right side and it’s crooked and people say it’s unnoticeable but i don’t believe them. i have my angles though and i can easily conceal the thing but i know it’s there and i hate it so much. i’d have surgery if i weren’t a freaking coward :(

17: WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING NOW? 

black leggings and no shoes because i’m at home, i’m wearing white socks

18: WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? 

just a sandwich, she said while in the middle of ordering a huge chicken calzone

19: WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? 

various noises coming from the hallway outside of my flat

20: IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? 

white

21: FAVORITE SMELL? 

versace men eau fraiche oh god damn jung taekwoon idk i like fresh scents and i love perfumes so fresh scented perfumes?? no matter if it’s a perfume for men or women

22: WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU SPOKE TO ON THE PHONE? 

a potential candidate for a position i’m working on. she was not interested :( but her partner might be, fingers crossed!

23: FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? 

i… i don’t do such a thing…

24: HAIR COLOR? 

natural: blondish brownish ugly grey from it not having seen the sun for the last 9 years, dyed: copper red. always copper red.

25: EYE COLOR? 

brown

26: DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? 

nope, i wear glasses (not that i need them much but they help hiding the bump on my nose)

27: FAVORITE FOOD TO EAT? 

chicken salad!

28: SCARY MOVIES OR COMEDY? 

comedy

29: LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? 

ugh no idea i don’t watch movies… maybe lars and the real girl because i was prompted to write about it

30: WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? 

black or more like dark bluish now, it’s my hex sign t-shirt and i wear it all the time so the colour’s been fading from washing it so often

31: SUMMER OR WINTER? 

winter. i used to say it’s because summer is hot and i hate the heat and winter is cold like my soul but actually, lately the cold has been affecting me really bad and i’m cold all the time even when the heating’s on and my entire body is... pretty cold (i know i should go see a doctor). still, in summer you need to take your clothes off and hahahaha nope. too much exposure. sweating. makeup comes off. sun. too pale skin. sunburns. i die.

32: HUGS OR KISSES? 

when i’m drunk, kisses, when i’m sober don’t touch me or at least ask me/tell me you’re going to because i get frightened and it messes with me;;

33: WHAT BOOK ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING? 

i finished reading the latest chapter of incarnadine at work this morning does that matter

34: WHO DO YOU MISS RIGHT NOW? 

my grandpa i haven’t seen him for weeks :(

35: WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? 

i don’t have one

36: WHAT IS THE LAST TV PROGRAM YOU WATCHED? 

does vixxtv2 ep 63 count??

37: WHAT IS THE BEST SOUND? 

my baby kitten leo meowing like he’s about to die when he’s looking for mama AND vixx’s voices 

38: ROLLING STONES OR THE BEATLES? 

even if my life depended on it, i couldn’t name a song from either. i’m so musically under-educated i’m so sorry

39: WHAT IS THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE EVER TRAVELED? 

the uk and even there, worthing which is ~1,600km away from here (i totally did not check on google maps how far away each country i’ve ever visited is from my hometown)

40: DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? 

nothing really special or interesting or surprising, i just… write.

41: WHERE WERE YOU BORN? 

hungary

42: PEOPLE YOU INVITE TO PARTICIPATE IN THIS SURVEY? 

@ravishingvixx​ and @hong-buns​, do it if you’d like, guys!!

[muggycuphead]

TH!FPA_VB – Lord of Lies and Deceiving

Yo, been a while since I posted something on this account, but here we are, back at it again with a casual VB drawing like in good ol’ 2020

…Though, this time things got built on a different road of events as you can see, not to mention this is a spoiler to what’s to come for VB (but tbh I stopped caring at this point so yea)

First and for most however, there are quite a few questions surrounding this fic’s development I have to answer for our sake (mostly mine since I feel like mold spaghetti for not keeping up on things oml-)

Yes, I once said VB was on the way of getting completed and all that, I know

Problem is, the changes I want to do to the ‘lore’ (if you want to call it that way idk) are also retroactive to the events in the present timeline (aka past events that are mentioned but not entirely shown because ugh-), some characters that have some relevancy on the story but only come up at the very end chapters on VB itself, etc. etc. which are things that I personally find bothersome as its writer and the reason why I’d rather not make the ‘sequel-prequel’ of it where things get explained and all that

Instead, I’ll fuse both VB and TAF (the sequel-prequel’s name acronym standing for ‘The ‘ANOMALY’ files’ fyi) so it can focus on one party alone and I don’t waste any more time than what I already have done so (haha funny cuz me late to party amiriteeeimsorry-)

…And about the format for it, I’ve decided I’ll ‘upgrade’ it to a comic instead since y’know, I do art and it’ll also make my writing simpler so yea

Still tho, I’m kinda paranoic on if I should get going with the prologue by the time I finish its script or not since I don’t wanna make the plot a mess or leave things (important* things) unfolded by accident, but we’ll see how it goes (and hopefully I’ll make it out alive-)

Also, keep in mind that by the moment I’m writing this, I’m stuck in the Friday Night Fuc- I mean Funkin’ fandom, and y’all know what happens when the fandom switching happens…

My concept-creation-obssessive-self starts grinding gears like cuckoo -doesn’t mean I’ll abandon everyone else tho, it’s just that my focus splits on multiple parts and all that balloney

So, now that I did my little defense statement up there, let’s get rolling to the mainpoint down here

First, who’s this spider guy?

Well, he’s a ‘side’ antagonist, more specifically the person DPM is after (but doesn’t realize he is until very later)

His name is Q-Ross Sid, a ‘camel spider’ that lives in the Spider Kingdom as the royal executioner and prison head-guard/-caretaker

He’s what I’d consider to be an ‘anomaly’, since he’s a genetic fusion of graphite (20%), chalk (10%) and correcting fluid (70%), with the graphite being his ‘stabilizer’ component (osseous structure and skin/muscular tissue mostly) and the chalk his ‘cooler’ component (mostly on his defense and assimilation mechanism), not to mention he can only consume either correcting fluid matter derivatives…and/or ink matter derivatives, including living beings (mostly as an energy source and which his body somehow can partially convert into graphite)

…And by that fact alone you can tell that yes, he killed Isea -also known as Dizzy/Izzy Pants Girl (YESss I fINALLY GAVE HER A NICK ASDFGH-) in VB mostly due to her ‘special ability’ and stuff- by Queen Aris’ command. And yes, he can shapeshift, which explains why he got DPM to blame FPM for what happened, this that (but I think you might have figure it out already by the drawing alone so yea-)

However, although at first I thought his ability would be limited to mimick FPM’s appearance only, I now decided to amplify it a little, and instead he can shapeshift into any sketch/graphite-alike/related being, with FPM being his ‘link’ to them most of the time (stalkey tatics are not okey dokey my man but you do you I guess)

Though he can only shapeshift into stickfigs since he doesn’t have that much of ‘color filling’ for a human drawing itself (yeah ik they’re humanized in the story but things will make sense sooner or later I promise, for now just bear with me as we go on on this plz), and he cannot shapeshift into ink/liquid-alike/related beings because they’re not compatible and it’ll only lead him to corrupt his physical form –not meaning he can’t recover from it tho

But he can’t replicate them entirely, as his eyes and the ring are the two main red flags to spot him (but with some contact lenses and a little pocket, it can be fixed y’know-)

As for his robotic arm, it was after a fight that I’ll rather not explain due to not being that relevant; and even thought doctors refused to give him a prosthesis at first since he could simply let it rebuild naturally (yes he can regen too, but in a slower phase bc reasons), he got it anyways due to the fact limbs regen take way longer than physic injuries and/or internal damage (some even assumed that they probably wouldn’t actually regen anyway), which can be a bother on his job most of the time…and maybe out of spite too –he wanna look tough, yo-

Fun fact, during the hype I got from making this bad boi, I ended up attaching him to grandson’s song called ‘Blood/Water’ due to the lyrics kinda resembling his defamatory actions towards FPM (and also his wild and sometimes desperate hunger towards ink beings, yikes)

Second, what’s VB’s main plotline now and why did I expand it?

To resume it in the ‘signature phrase’ I made for the new version (which was also inspired on MARETU’s ‘Magical Doctor’ song –mandoilovethisvocaloidsongcomposerasdfgh)

**THIS WASN’T MEANT TO HAPPEN**

Venomous Bittersweet (which I’ll rename in the future due to the fusion with TAF) started off with a simple plot -FPM going on a mission for himself to get cured from a spider bite he got all of a sudden, but failing in the process (bc plot convenience idk) and CPG is the one who goes to his rescue instead while showing off the things she learned from him, this that, wholesome ending blah blah blah- you know the drill if you read it to end.

But by the moment I began making those little ‘inside stories’ –specially DPM’s backstory explaining why he became so reckless and outgoing- I started to extent myself on how things worked on this AU, even how drawings come to life (ik it’s weird but that’s how I though it to be so ff-), and by such I felt the urge to give almost everything a background story, such as Aris’ reason to kidnap and take control over FPM’s body and mind (and maybe his soul too oops-), the Spider Kingdom’s origin and even the portals and ‘reality deterioration’ in SFPA, passing by DPM’s origins and stuff.

And even if I felt like hitting walls and taking things a little too in-depth most times, I think it did bring some good things for the new plotline I’m going for now

So, in the new story, all the weird, whacky (and disturbing) things that happen after SFPA and during OG VB plotline came by what I’d express as some sort of ‘time-space anomaly’ that made everything slightly unstable on the ‘other side’ of the studio (I won’t explain too much my brain is about to boil rn so take that as you will for now tysm), having a passive (but not unnoticeable) effect on the sketchbooks.

I can’t give much context why, how or where did the anomaly came to be exactly (you can make theories if you like, I’d love to read them 4real <3), but it’s main purpose is to take control over all existing worlds just to corrupt them to its will, to the point there is basically nothing left but despair and desolation to which all entities will be forced to endure and all that edgy jazz.

…And by that, the ‘anomaly’ will create incompatible matter amalgams –ink and graphite being the most coming-to-mind example in the story so far- in order to conquer all the sketchbooks, but as a consequence of this ‘anomaly’s’ arise, new worlds came to be fully developed (in other words, they finally exist as a whole), and with that, new ‘heroes’ are brought into the situation, each representing a type of artistic material alone –watercolor, oil paint, etc-, heroes with which FPM will encounter and interact with, as he’ll also help them in how to use their abilities to fight the baddies and stuff.

And because we need conflict to make things interesting, Q-Ross and DPM indirectly (but kinda) ‘team up’ to fabricate fake evidence and such in order to mess with FPM’s reputation towards the heroes by incriminating him and/or even mislead his actions (confusing wrong by right and vice versa, etc.) (because ink man is salty and corrector ass is a dick by nature –ofc), and even ocassionally with Q-Ross starting the job, just to get DPM to finish it; and sometimes they get the aforesaid characters to hold grudges –if it comes to succeed, or instead making them get more on his side by the same feeling of doubt –if they mess up on something, no matter the size.

As about his sickness, well, it also got a little twist.

We know that new worlds and material compositions come with new squiggle types, and even if ‘dust-related’ types don’t affect him for too long –chalk being the closest example I can bring up-, liquid or clayish matters, such as oil and crayon squiggles respectively, are toxic towards him, so in the way the more he interacts with incompatible squiggles, the more harmed his health condition gets, to the point it grips into the weakest part of his body –his core (I’ll later explain this just…let me get this out first plz), which limits him on doing most things he’s used to do normally.

…And well, the spider bite (which is also an abnormal matter amalgam times two, though I’ll keep it secret for now) was the last nail in the coffin on fucking him up entirely to a new level of corruption (damn is that a stretch I’m seeing-)

Long story short, this was also because I wanted ArPM to have a backstory that’s more than just ‘I’m evil nao bc me get poisond and mindcontrold by spoders out of spite hahahaha-’

Third (and lastly), who’s Ahetzo exactly and what’s his main purpose on the story?

This is a short one

In case you didn’t see my tweet on my Twitter account (here a linkie), this is a side character I made that’s supposed to be some kind of ‘spirit’ or something alike who’s the one in charge of the studio while ya dev boi is gone

In other words, he’s basically like Brad’s subconscious self (IK YIKES- YOU CAN HIT ME WITH THE CHAIR NOW I WON’T MIND-)

…and even though he tried to keep the anomaly thing contained as long as he could while figuring out how to disarm it or at least neutralize it (yes it was there way before, like during fpaw3 events or before so because AU logic lol), the more he tried to condense it, the more it multiplied itself until, well, y’know, shit blew up and everything just sdfghjk’d

And yes, he was the one who released the new worlds to keep the crazy stuff at range, this that

Oml my brain-

And before I finish here, I’d like to make a little ‘self-critic’ regarding my artwork here…and I gotta say, I’m really proud of it on most parts

As I began to retake on digital art lately –mostly due to my slight entering onto the FNF/partially NG communities and other things, I’ve been testing out new techniques and stuffs on GIMP 2 with the ‘routes’ tool and all that (that’s also why it looks almost symmetrical, but don’t fool urself it did took its time-), I even corrected some of the lines to make them sharp and fancy (haha funi joek im so quirkee-)

In here, I wanted to try mixing both solid and blurry shadows as well as replicating a ‘crystalish’ effect –as seen on Q-Ross’ eyes- and some line effects with the ink tool such as the liquid dripping out of Q’s mouth (yes that correcting fluid saliva now stfu-) and the graphite/correctfluid webs coming out of his clawtips/fingertips

And though I haven’t made an official palette for him, I think the colors I picked here suit him well enough in my own idea of such

Overall, I had fun making this, and I love how it came out

Still though, any criticism, opinion and commentary is welcome, both about my art piece and my little showcase over here

That’s all I got for now, see you all later on

K bai-