#little shit bucky

[plantswithme]

the full “still not funny” scene!

[fruedian]

― Last Night I Sang to the Monster, Benjamin Alire Sáenz (insp.)

[bromcommie]

by far my favourite niche ridiculous headcanon for post-ca: tws is the one where in order to get around bucky being prosecuted for his crimes as the winter soldier natasha or fury or whoever just get him a new identity as a random russian immigrant with the most stereotypical name possible like. everett ross rolls up asking for his head on a plate and natasha’s all “sorry what? no you’re mistaken bucky barnes was killed in action in ‘45 lol this is my ex-ballet teacher, Boris Bulgakov. he doesn’t speak any english” and it’s just bucky standing there in a bad fake mustache and an ushanka staring directly into the camera like he’s on the office. his russian’s shit and he speaks with a godawful new york accent and natasha’s just like “yeah no he’s from brighton beach actually”

[lnsfawwi]

fanon Steve: so poor can't feed myself must save all the money😢

canon Steve: squandered train money on hotdogs bc he's jealous of Dot

[rainblescake]

i think

[turtle-steverogers]

Consider: Bucky lets Alpine wander all over their kitchen counters if she pleases. Steve, however, tries to keep her off the counters. Sometimes Bucky walks in on Steve having a dead serious conversation with Alpine (sometimes even in his serious, disappointed Captain America voice), like, c'mon, girl, we talked about this.

OKAY CUZ ALPINE AND STEVE'S FEUD FEEDS MY LITERAL SOUL LIKE ON FUCKING GOD THIS IS EVERYTHING TO ME. now this isn't about kitchens or sandwiches, but you get the gist.

also norman is their dog. here is a picture commissioned from the super talented @hopelessartgeek by my dear friend @buffyscribbless !!! coolest thing ever!!!!

Enjoy!!!

-

“Bucky, get your fuckin’ cat, Jesus Christ!”

Steve resists the urge to throw the goddamn thing as Alpine bats his head with her paw for the millionth time since the movie started. Norman was growling up at her, drowning out the sounds of Indiana Jones in the background.  

“If you wanna murder her already, I’m not gonna stop you,” Steve grumbles to Norman, ducking his head as Alpine takes another swing at his ear.

“No, no one is murdering anyone,” Bucky snaps, padding into the room and plucking Alpine up from her purchase on the back of the couch. “You coulda just moved her if she was bothering you so much.”

“I tried!” Steve cries, sitting up indignantly. “She just hissed at me and started doing it again!”

Norman was whining now, turning in circles by Steve’s feet and casting furtive glances towards where Alpine was grooming herself on Bucky’s lap.

“That fucking gremlin seems to only like you,” Steve says, not bothering to keep the distaste from his tone.

“She can sense that you’re bothered with her,” Bucky says, staring lovingly down at Alpine, who is now asleep against his stomach.

“I don’t think cats work like that,” Steve scrunches his nose. “I just think she hates me.”

Bucky shrugs. “She’ll warm up to ya.”

“Hip hip fucking hooray.”

-

“Norman, no! No, Norman, leave her- no- fuck, BUCKY!”

Bucky barrels into the room freezing momentarily to take in the scene of Steve holding Norman back while Alpine shoves soil at them from her perch on one of the windowsills.  

He stifles a laugh and Steve shoots him a glare. “Shut the hell up and get your fucking demon out of the succulents.”

Swallowing his laughter and putting on a solemn face, Bucky crosses to Alpine and sets her on the ground.

“She’s just restless,” Bucky insists. “I just need to get her a cat tree or something.”

“Then fucking do it and don’t let her mess with my plants!” Steve just barely stops himself from stomping his foot.

“Okay, okay.” Bucky raises his hands in mock surrender. “I’ll go do that now. Go walk Norman or something.”

Steve huffs, grumbling to himself as he grabs Norman’s leash off its hook. On his way out, he tosses a middle finger in Alpine’s direction.

“Steven Grant!”

“She deserves it!”

-

It’s the middle of the goddamn night and Alpine is scratching. Bucky had kept to his word and gotten Alpine a cat tree, but since then, the fucking terror has done nothing but scratch the fucking thing. Steve wouldn’t mind if Bucky hadn’t insisted that they keep the tree in their bedroom so, ‘Alpine can sleep near us, c’mon, you let Norman sleep in our bed.’

Steve had lost that argument as soon as the Norman card was pulled. You can’t really argue with hypocritical logic.

“Will you please stop already!?” Steve hisses into the dark quiet of the room, careful not to wake Bucky or Norman up.

He sees Alpine’s yellow eyes turn in his direction and they hold eye contact for a tense moment before she hops up onto the bed next to Steve.

“Oh no you don’t,” Steve says through clenched teeth as Alpine begins to knead her paws into his stomach.

Steve groans, letting his head drop back onto the pillow. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

-

He’s home alone, fist clenched tightly in his hair as he tries to regain control over his breathing.  Norman’s hovering nearby, providing company and comfort, but not coming closer for fear of overwhelming Steve.  

He hadn’t expected the movie he’d been watching to trigger him, but one loud fight and a door slam later, he was 7 years old again, cowering under the kitchen table while his ma and dad screamed at each other. 

The shaking is getting worse and Steve has half a thought to call Bucky, but he’s in a meeting right now at the Tower and that would be unfair to ask of him. No, he could handle this by himself. Everything was going to be okay.

Another shout sounds from the TV and Steve gasps, reaching for the remote and forcefully shutting it off.  He braces his forearms on his knees and leans forward, opening his eyes and attempting to tap back into his surroundings.  Norman comes a little closer, nudging his hand with his nose until Steve begins to run a shaking hand down his head.

It does a little to calm his nerves, but his heartbeat is still too erratic and his senses are still foggy and anxious.  Across the room, Alpine meows loudly and Steve looks up in time to see her knock her plastic food bowl off the counter.  It’s empty and bounces when it hits the ground and Alpine fixes Steve with a look as if to say, ‘feed me’.

Steve huffs out a surprised laugh, panic forgotten as he stands from the couch, crossing to pick up the bowl before filling it with cat food.  He sets it back on the counter and watches in surprise as Alpine nestles her head against his arm before digging into the food.

“Ya know, you’re not actually that bad.” Alpine purrs in response and Steve smiles. “I think I might not hate you.”

Alpine cuts herself off from eating and begins to convulse violently, spitting up a hairball a few moments later.

Steve blinks. “What the fuck.”

Alpine just looks at him again, meowing.

[deadhearthotline]

i depend on you

Chambray (he/him) (Froakie) belongs to me, Bucky (he/him) (Bunnelby) belongs to @fizkid

based on this art from twitter!

[fandomfluffandfuck]

Drove past a sign for "Alpine Rd" and immediately thought, aw, Bucky would be so proud, a road named after his princess.

Without delay, my next thought was: Steve would steal the road sign for Bucky and their spoiled kitty.

[georgetownsweatshirt]

Bucky before he and Sam were cool:

[numberonestuckyshipper]

It’s Not Fuckin’ Funny Steve.

[pandagirl45]

Clint: you and bucky are tucky or bony

Tony:...why did you have to say that

Bucky: then you and Sam are sint or cam

Clint: *critical damage*

Steve: *thinks stodey or rove* I like rove

Everyone: *stares*

Bruce: thruce, sounds like truce is what our enemies should think about next time

Tony: Jesus brucie

Thor: my love is sleepy but I do like thruce. Bhor sounds to similar to another family member

[magpie-sherlock]

Marvel Characters as Dumb Shit I've Done

Tony Stark - went to church, came home exhausted, took a nap, woke up and within 30 minutes managed to fight my mom over who did the dishes (I won. I got there first I called dish duty back off-)

Steve Rogers - hurt my shoulder doing army crawls and then did 50 pushups

Thor - regularly eating raw cookie dough

Loki - I failed a captcha

Clint Barton - caffeine addiction

Bruce Banner - I offered to stab a hole in a cup for my friend (we were doing the egg drop experiment) so she wouldn't get hurt. ended up cutting my finger

Natasha Romanoff - driving, exclaimed in Russian, realised I was the only one in the car who knew russian

Yelena Belova - might've broken my foot in dance class, I don't know bc I never got it looked at :)

Kate Bishop - I tried to climb something and ended up slamming my ribcage into a concrete cylinder. had the audacity to ask why my ribs hurt the next day

Peter Parker - got math problems wrong bc I have synesthesia (numbers have colours)

Bucky Barnes - one time during karate we had an obstacle course and I was so tired that I got my flying side kick stuck on top of the punching bag and fell over

Sam Wilson - was tired and looking for an icepack. decided to check the pantry

Carol Danvers - "I'm a girl, and I'm cold. therefore, I'm the embodiment of the cold girl aesthetic"

[thetalkingrat]

I firmly believe that when Bucky finally found out that people viewed Steve, Steve 'I'm the biggest little shit you will ever meet' Rogers, as America's golden boy he almost lost it.

Bucky: WHAT DO YOU MEAN STEVE IS A GOLDEN BOY??!?!

Tony: Yeah, a golden retriever really, it's frankly disturbing how good he is

Steve: *Innocently smiling as he watches this*

Bucky: *Having flashbacks to all the times Steve has started a fight, broken the law, went directly against authority, lied to the government, and just over all been a little shit*

Bucky: *Silently wishing he could get drunk and forget this world shattering revelation* Right...

Steve: *Gives Bucky one of his old 'I'm a little shit' grins*

Bucky: *Just walks away since he doesn't have enough energy to deal with this world wide lie everyone believes*

[denebolablack]

Okay, can we talk about how this quote is literally the whole Tony's life? Like he was a genius, and he definitely grew up too fast for his age (damn, he was in MIT at the age of FOURTEEN). He always keeps learning and remembering things he wish he didn't, the kind of things that would haunt him at night, the kidn of things that would make him feel useless cuz there are things that he just CAN'T stop even if he tries. But at the same time, he WANTS to know things because he needs control, especially after Afghanistan (because when he let other people control things, his weapons were sold to terrorists and he almost died).

So Tony Stark wants to know everything because he needs control, but he hates knowing everything because there are some things that he just CAN'T fix no matter how hard he tries.

And he can't let go of that.

He can't lose control.

Because when he loses control, people die.

He is a control freak because he is afraid of trust again because when he trust people, they betray him or they get hurt.

[darthbloodorange]

Thirst Trap Steve

Rating: Teens Universe: Marvel Cinematic Universe Pairings: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Steve Rogers, Clint Barton Warnings: None Major Tags: Humour, Social Media, Steve Rogers Being a Little Shit, Bucky Barnes is an enabler, Clint Barton is So Done Word count: 100 - Drabble

Summery: Clint wished he just minded his own business and just got his coffee.

For the: ✦ Stucky Bingo - Social Media [G2] (Card: 5054)

Read below or on AO3 >HERE<

Clint walked into the main lounge of the compound, empty mug in hand. He stops on his way to the kitchenette and does a double take at what is happening across the room.

Steve had apparently decided to do his gym exercises here... with far less clothes. Shirtless, Steve bent and flexed, arching across the mat. Bucky stood by, recording. 

"What's this?" he asks hesitantly. Did he really want to know?

Bucky grinned. "Shooting stuff for Steve's socials. Stark said he should be more active publicly online."

"Doubt he meant this."

"Should've been clearer, then," Bucky says with a wink.

THE END

[mrscienceman4000]

“Four men in uniform, to carry home my little soldier”

Cough

Frank Castle

Marc Spector

Steve Rodgers

Bucky Barnes

Cough