#little experiment piece ive been working on and off again

[papanowo]

ready for a night out ; painting the town pink ?

two swanky gentlemen !

[kryptznnn]

♡/♛- It's Been A While [IV]

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➸ INTERESTS; -mha!shouta aizawa x quirk-using!freader

➸ BACKGROUND; - after an attack at the high school you studied in, you were requested by your work firm and the firm of that school to work as a teacher there for extra security, incase an attack were to occur again to protect the students (and teachers). Unfortunately, it won't be as easy as you expected when you rekindle with old friends, and a specific someone.

➸ WARNINGS; - wc. 6.4k, romantic tension, sexual tension, little bit of angst, mentions of past trauma and nightmares, mentions of injury, blood, blood loss, alcohol consumption, stitching injuries, kissing, grinding, groping, sexual themes, arousal.

➸a.i; - woo update!! also i am so sorry this chapter is so long i promise it's worth it. currently working on 2 submissions that should be posted later today!! and i should actually publish the entire jjk master list (fr fr this time)

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♡/♛- It's Been A While [III]

♡/♛- It's Been A While Masterlist

You grabbed your friends' hand as you began to make your way towards the entrance of her house, screaming for help. You couldn't remember what caused all of this commotion, but her house was currently on fire, and you knew you had to get out as soon as possible.

To your surprise it seemed you had shrunk a bit, keeping the same height and size you did in high school. You were wearing your uniform as you gripped your friends' hand tighter. She was stuck underneath a piece of her house that had trapped her, till today you were never sure what it was.

Whatever it was in the moment you didn't care, you were panicking, and she was too, so you did the only thing you knew what too. Although you used your quirk to a great extent on the hot wood, you hadn't suffered any great burns to your skin, but the aftermath had been carried with you forever.

As the piece that had trapped her was connected to the entire house, transforming it meant doing the same to whatever and whoever was in physical contact with it. Thankfully she survived, losing her leg in the process, but the rest of her family hadn't, and that grief stayed with you permanently.

You begged and cried pleading how you could still save them, you could fix it. Tears clouding your vision as the entire house and all else around it turned to sand, leaving you both to see the outside with firefighters and police officers along with the large night sky as she screamed in pain.

You shot up, tears streaming down your face now as you woke up. It was just a dream, the same dream as before. With the same friend you kept having hallucinations about, over time after the incident the two of you split apart and you never heard or saw her again.

You caught your breath as the grip you had in your bed sheets loosened a bit, bringing your hands to your face and wiping your tears. You sniffled softly as you turned to the side and grabbed your phone, unplugging it as you checked the time.

9:16am

You were supposed to stop by the embassy today to meet with your boss. Today was a working day for you, aside their being no classes today your jobs never finished. You dug around your bags for your uniform and spare underwear and made your way to the bathroom, using your hygiene products that you had unpacked the night prior.

As you let the water in the shower cool you off you couldn’t shake off the feeling of your nightmare. Having to relive the same experience over and over again never got better, no amount of therapy or medication helped either.

Then you thought of Shouta, and what had happened last night. Your face was flushed remembering how he brought the pill up to your lips, and how he looked at you. How close he leaned into your face and how his hands never left your side.

Nothing was making sense to you, especially now of all times. If anything, your life seemed to be taking a crazy movie plot path, having crazy powers, changing jobs to help people and use those same crazy powers more often. Then the job being the same exact one your ex was currently attending, and now moving in with him last minute after a home invasion.

You shook your head as you pinned your hands to the walls of the shower in front of you. You finished up within the shower and got ahold of the towel hung on the rack, drying your body off before stepping out and removing the shower cap you wore.

You were now fully dry, you began to put your uniform on, taking a little while longer as your body was still sort of damp. The uniform was tight, but not too tight to be of any concern or discomfort, plus it made you look nice, so you’d never complain about it.

As you grabbed your makeup bag and began applying your supplies to your hair your stomach growled. You only reminded yourself you’d find something to eat before leaving as you still had your hair to maintain.

As you unraveled your hair and fixed it up in a way you seemed fit, you took one last look in the mirror smiling to yourself as you cleaned up and put everything away. You made your way back to your room and grab your utility belt, you looked at your hat for a minute before deciding to not wear it.

As you walked through the hall you smelled something sweet, you weren’t sure what it was, but whatever it was had to be good. You thought for a moment of Shouta, he must’ve been cooking in the kitchen. You checked the time again on your phone before placing it back in your pocket.

10:48am

You had nearly an hour to spare before making your way to the embassy, knowing the drive was roughly 20 minutes meant you had less time than that actually. You sighed to yourself as you made your way into the kitchen and placed your bag down, retreating back to your room as you realized you left your car keys behind.

It seemed as if every time you walked back and forth from the kitchen to your room the route had been longer. Maybe you were just extra lazy this morning or something had changed overnight, who knows.

“Good morning” you heard Shouta say to you, you turned to look at him. He was making pancakes, and by the looks of it he hadn’t even turned around to look at you. You frowned slightly, it was all too knowing that he was still upset over last night's events, but all you could do was swallow it down and move on.

“Good morning” you replied, a little cheer in your voice hoping he would catch onto it. Thankfully for you he did, because he soon turned his head to take in your appearance. “How did you sleep?” You asked as you made your way past him, walking behind him slowly and making your way to the cabinet that held mugs.

His eyes followed your figure, squinting slightly as he saw you hold in a chuckle when you did open the cabinet. He barely had 10 of each mug, cup, or bottle within it, it had reminded you of your own apartment. It’s not like you needed a lot of no one ever came around and you lived alone.

“I slept well, what about you?” He asked, now turning his head back to his work and placing the pancake out of the pan and into a plate, alongside some eggs. You began pouring coffee and creamer into a cup before answering.

“Pretty good” you said without hesitation, set aside from the nightmare you had you had gotten a lot of sleep. Honestly you needed it for the day you had planned ahead, especially since you had to go to the embassy.

As you made your way back behind him over to the dining table his eyes were locked onto you again. He wasn’t sure what it was about you this morning, but whatever it was he liked it. Whether it was your hair, maybe a different way you did your makeup, or maybe even your hairstyle and the way your uniform looked on you he loved it.

He must look like a creep for staring at you for so long, but he didn’t really care. In some sense he was able to realize what made him fall in love with you to begin with years ago. Maybe he was harsh and closed off because he knew he was too weak to handle it.

Not maybe, definitely, he was definitely too weak within the romance department to try with anyone else or try again. So, when you had bumped into him in the teachers' lounge earlier within the week it’s as if all of his old emotions came back at once.

Truth is he knew you were coming, everyone did. As a staff member he was obliged too, but he never expected to see you so soon let alone bump into you. It’s as if you had changed so much, but at the same time not at all in just a few years. Maybe it wasn’t even his old feelings for you coming back, they probably never left.

He just kept them buried, the same way you did. Prioritizing everything else over how he felt in order to get the job done. Hizashi had even teased him about the fact he kept group photos from all of you guys together in his desk drawer and bedroom. He could handle being ridiculed all the time by his friend, it didn’t matter to him.

But you did, you always had mattered to him. So, when he heard the news of what had happened downtown a few weeks ago with a train hijack he was on the edge of his seat as he heard your name. He was surprised honestly, hearing you were down there and had dealt with the situation alongside your colleague.

Wasn’t the entire reason why you had left and joined a new branch of workforce to remain hidden? Now you’re on national television, at a scene acting as some sort of hero saving innocent civilians downtown. Could’ve just been a case of wrong place wrong time, but still the use of your quirk was surprising to him.

If anything from what he remembered you hated using it after high school, or at least that’s what you told him before you had broken up with him. He hadn’t done much to get over the breakup, if you could even say that he had gotten over it. His friends attempted to get him dating again or even hook up with someone to blow some steam off, overall, he ended up taking it as a last-minute resort.

Simple one-night stands once in a blue moon helped occasionally, but when he went in one night too drunk to comprehend that the woman he was sleeping with wasn’t you, he lost it. He swore to himself he wouldn’t get that drunk again or go out so willingly just to hook up with others, because he knew what he was doing was dangerous.

He hadn’t gotten over you and honestly, he was never going too, because he didn’t want too. If there’s anything you knew between your time of being friends with Shouta and dating him, it was that he was a stubborn man, too stubborn for his own good. So, if he says he wants something or shows he does, he’ll do anything to get it, no matter how many times he may lose it.

Like you.

“Here’s your breakfast, the syrup should already be on the table if you want any.” He spoke softly, picking up one of the two plates beside him and placing it in front of where you sat. As you thanked him, he made his way back into the kitchen, grabbing silverware for you to eat with.

As you cut up your food and began to eat, he watched you from the corner of his eye. You seemed happy and bashful, he could tell you enjoyed the food, but he enjoyed watching as your lip stick smeared on your silverware and off your lips.

Maybe it was lip liner, who knows. Whatever it was he liked it, it suited you really well. Maybe the lip gloss you had coated on top was scented, or even flavored. He froze and turned his head to the side, gritting his teeth as he realized what he was doing.

Leave it up to him to make things awkward and informal because he can’t control himself. He had caught your attention now from the movement he just made, you turned to look at him, asking if he was alright. He only hummed in response and said he was fine, only a small headache from staying up too late last night.

Yeah right, a headache, as if the tone of his voice was believable enough to even pass his lie. He shook his head and made his way to the table, sitting on the opposite side of you with his silverware in hand.

As you ate you watched him, his biceps flexing slightly as he picked up his fork to eat. You then locked eyes with him when you looked up and being the first to break it looking down as you got your mug, taking a sip of your coffee.

You quickly got up and placed a napkin over your plate as you finished the coffee. Now taking the cup and placing it in the sink as you left the plate to the side. Shouta cocked a brow at your quick reactions before speaking.

“You’re already leaving? You haven’t finished eating yet.” He said, watching you as you practically spun around in the kitchen, cleaning your cup before drying it and placing it to the side.

“I have to leave now if I wanna make it on time, I have a long day ahead of me.” You stated simply, not even bothering to look at him as you arranged everything. He hadn’t known anything about your schedule, but honestly, he didn’t need too. Even if you did leave now you would’ve gotten to the embassy early, you just knew with how thick the tension was between the two of you it was only a matter of time before things went sideways.

You hated the tension, but he loved it, he loved how fidgety it made you and how you always were the first one to break eye contact or physical contact. You were quick to stop talking and even quicker to look away or leave, but right now he didn’t want you to leave. He wanted you to stay, enjoy breakfast with him at least, as friends, right? Yeah, as friends, if he could convince himself he had only felt a friendly way with you maybe you’d stay.

Or maybe you were lying to him about your whereabouts and where you would be. You had your work uniform on, so it was obvious you were heading to the embassy, but this early was insane. An idea came to mind as he smirked softly before parting his lips.

“Are you seeing anyone?” He asked, already picking up his mug as he saw your shocked expression. He attempted to hide his smile but couldn’t, now resorting in a chuckle before sipping his coffee. You froze slightly as your confused expression now turned to your brows furrowing.

“No, I don’t have any time too, and even if I was, I don’t think I would’ve accepted your offer.” You stated, now crossing your arms as you heard him chuckle. “Why are you asking?” You pointed out, he only shrugged and ate some more.

“Js’ curious” he said, placing the cup down as he watched your movements. You only scoffed and smiled at yourself shaking your head. You made your way over back to the dining table and grabbed your belongings before saying your goodbyes and waving.

He waved back to you and wished you a safe trip as you left. He took note of how your shoes clicked when you turned to leave, and how you walked in your uniform. You seemed powerful just by your walk, and that’s because you were. Don’t even get him started on how your perfume lingered even after you had left, bringing a smile to his face.

He wasn’t sure what he was going to do with himself if you did decide to stay around.

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“The L.O.V.? That’s crazy. Even if they did get ahold of me how would they even think to get me to abide by their dirty work.” You asked, huffing as you sat back in the chair across from your boss's desk. He only moved the papers in front of him to the side before speaking again.

“By force, abuse, using hostages, doing what villains do in today’s time to get what they want. You might not see it or realize it now, but your quirk has a range of possibilities and potential. As you don’t use it often now you probably don’t see it, but in the wrong hands it could be catastrophic.” He said, moving his hands around as he spoke, you lowered your head and slumped back in your seat.

Things were not going to get better anytime soon, and it made you sick to your gut that he was right about all of this. It’s one thing for villains or vigilantes to be after you, but the largest and most dangerous crime organization was insane. You couldn’t place yourself in danger like that, you couldn’t place Shouta in danger like that.

Even though your boss told you the situation was under control and that they had something in stored you knew deep down this wasn’t going to be the last of it. If they needed you for some scheme or large plan and couldn’t get to you they’d get someone else. Yes, you were safe, but you don’t think you could live with that sort of guilt all over your sense of fear.

You listened to him continue to rant and telling you to not stress over the situation. That he himself would find an apartment or house within your budget to look into since the threat was now diminished. You reached for your phone in your pocket and checked the time.

7:44pm

Damn you’ve been here that long? It honestly hadn’t felt like it, through all of the papers you finalized and graded, to planning for your next lessons of the week and now speaking to your boss you must’ve gotten lost in time. You were snapped out of your thoughts to see your boss no longer in his chair but at your side, telling you to go back home and rest, handing you your folders and work bag.

You only nodded, thanking him for his time and hard work before taking your belongings and walking outside. The clicks of your shoes echoing in your head as you thought to yourself when you stepped out into the parking lot.

Home,

You had to go home, but it was broken into, and it didn’t feel safe anymore. You didn’t necessarily have a home for the time being, but Shouta’s house was nice. He must feel very happy and cozy at his home, you did too occasionally. You quickly smiled to yourself as you unlocked your car and sat inside before starting it and going on your phone.

You had put in the navigation towards Shouta’s home and followed it, following the directions as it made you take a different route than the one you took this morning. You soon arrived, exiting your car and going over the side to get your belongings before closing the doors and locking your vehicle.

You rang the doorbell as you waited outside, the exhaustion of your day seeming to catch up with you now. You thought to yourself if you took a ‘nap’ this late what kind of consequences it would leave on you before the door opened.

“Hey, shit- I completely forgot to give you a spare” Shouta said as he opened the door wide now. You only smiled and greeted him in return as you let yourself in. He quickly closed the door and went into his bedroom before coming out and giving you a spare key, saying it opened the garage and front door. You only nodded and thanked him as you walked away and made your way to your bedroom.

You quickly closed your door, removing all your pieces of clothing and staying in nothing but your underwear as you spread across your bed, groaning to yourself. You quickly got underneath your covers as you placed your phone on your nightstand checking the time.

8:01pm.

There was no such thing as a nap now, if you were to go to sleep you wouldn’t awaken until morning. You were hungry though, that you couldn’t help. You sighed as you got up, throwing on the clothes you had slept with the night before. Careful to place the oversized white t shirt on carefully so your makeup wouldn’t stain it.

You put your slippers on as you made your way towards the kitchen, opening the fridge to find the food Shouta had cooked for the two of you last night. You quickly pulled it out and set it aside as you made your way towards the cabinet with the plates. You grabbed one and placed it down before grabbing a cup in one hand and silverware in the other. Your actions were soon shut down quickly as you were startled from a voice behind you.

“Hey, I’m heading out to patrol, I’ll be back later- “

“Fuck” you muttered, quick to cut him off as both the cup and silverware in your hands turned into small rose petals, now scattered across the floor. At least it wasn’t sand, like everything else you touched this week. Shouta cocked a brow at you from behind as you had now bent over to pick up the petals that had fallen.

As you stood up to place them on the counter by your plate, you had accidentally turned the plate into rose petals as well, cursing again. Before you were able to do anything else he was quick to use his quirk on you, without your realization. That was until you were attempting to shape the rose petals back into a plate and weren’t able too. Huffing to yourself out of frustration as you looked at your hands then the flowers scattered in front of you before turning to Shouta.

“Stop doing that, I’m trying to fix my mess” you mumbled, pointing to his eyes back and forth before motioning the flower pile in front of you. He cocked his mouth to the side as he watched you, his brows furrowing.

“You sure you can handle it? You almost turned my entire kitchen into a garden.” He said, now also pointing to the flower pile by your side. You only rolled your eyes at him and groaned before he wore a cocky smile and seized his quirk, freeing your ability to use yours.

You apologized for making such a mess with his things and he only blew it off, apologizing for startling you so badly. As you crafted the past roses into utensils and dining necessities Shouta said his goodbyes, you told him the same in return and told him to be safe as you’d be waiting for his return.

Maybe you lied just a little, because after eating you sat in the living room on the couch, playing something to attempt to keep you up. Eventually you ended up drifting off to sleep for a while before you heard the front door open with a slam, not nearly startling you, just arising concern from you.

You stood up as the TV continued to play, walking over to the kitchen and reading the time, as you had done countless times before. Furrowing your brows as you attempted to get a clearer version of it through your tired eyes.

1:52am.

You sighed to yourself as you heard rough footsteps and clatter from the front door. Turning on the lights that blinded you temporarily as you squinted before making your way over to Shouta. You hadn’t expected him to enter so loudly, you had always taken him as the quiet kind.

“Hey, you’re here so la- oh my god. Shouta.” You were quick to cut yourself off, now taking in his exhausted and injured state. He was hunched over by the wall, sinking down to at least your height level, if not lower as he groaned, his hand applying pressure to his upper abdomen as his skin was tainted with blood.

Honestly you were concerned for him with how much blood he had lost because you could smell it, and it made you feel dizzy almost. You were quick to come rushing to his side, kicking the door shut with a slam as you hunched his other arm over your shoulder, making your way to the living room as you sat him down.

The two of you hadn’t expressed any words with one another as you sprang into action. Taking the small white unused washcloths from your bathroom with a large bowl of water from the kitchen. You stacked up countless number of things as he laid, keeping pressure on his injury as he had before.

Before he knew it you were back in front of him again, various items were scattered across the floor beside him as he watched you. You kept your head down as you pulled your hair back into a bun, taking a pair of gloves, you had kept in one of your bags and putting them on.

You took a deep breath as you watched his figure, his eyes clenched as he began to sweat. He must’ve been in a lot of pain, and whatever he had gotten into got him good. Good enough to the point where he didn’t even want to say what it was or what had happened to him. Now was probably one of the hardest parts to come before you did anything else, you swallowed softly before you spoke.

“I um, I have to take these off... is that okay?” You asked, pointing to his onesie and scarf. He only grunted and nodded in response, practically doing you the favor as he took his spare hand and yanked the scarf from his neck. Now taking in the tip of his zipped onesie into his mouth and biting down to pull it up as he unzipped it with his other hand, revealing his body underneath.

If this man wasn’t currently in pain and bleeding out in front of you, you might’ve done something unspeakable. You looked away as he undressed, taking a deep breath and reminding yourself he was your patient first and foremost, let alone your ex-boyfriend that you had set boundaries within your head against.

Now was not the right time for your body to act crazy as if it had never seen a man’s body before, you’ve seen countless, pictures, videos, in person. This shouldn’t have been a big deal, just help him out, patch him up, and you both go to bed. It seemed easy enough when you envisioned it in your mind.

You were snapped out of your thoughts as you heard Shouta curse underneath his breath out of pain as he finished moving his suit. He had pushed it down and taken his arms out, his entire top half free. Your eyes trailed down quickly taking in his form in front of you, you weren’t sure if he had done it on purpose or accident, but his clothing being pushed down to his v-line and the liner of his boxers being shown wasn’t helping you.

It’s as if everything you had told yourself earlier to have some sense of self control had just simply vanished. You swallowed down the feelings you had, the one in the pit of your stomach, the one on your face, and the one between your legs before reaching down and grabbing one of the washcloths.

You drowned it in the large bowl of water you had before squeezing it and looking up at Shouta for reassurance. He only nodded and placed his hand behind him for balance, as he kept his bloody one within his lap as he had man spread on the couch from a horizontal angle.

As you placed the damp cloth on his open wound to clean all of the access blood, fresh and dry he hadn’t moved an inch. His gaze was focused on you and every movement you made, how delicate and gentle you were with him. As you finished wiping him off you dipped the now bloody cloth in the water you had, watching as it turned from an orange color to something darker now, before squeezing it and giving it to him to wipe his hand.

You soon grabbed rubbing alcohol, pouring some in the cloth he was using to fully get everything off of his hands. As he finished you grabbed a clean cloth now dousing it in enough alcohol until the smell made your eyes water. You closed it, securing the cap tightly before looking over at Shouta, the damp towel in your hand.

“If it hurts really bad you can hold on to me, I’ve done this with my colleagues in the embassy, and they say it helps.” You stated, shooting him a cheerful smile as you tried to lighten the mood, he took a breath before taking a handful of his hair and brushing it back out of his face as he looked at you. Now placing his hand down as he took out the one you had offered before getting to work.

He hadn’t winced or flinched as hard as you expected him too, even when you dabbed the alcohol over his now red and inflamed wound. He kept his composure, or at least you thought. His breathing was heavy as he squeezed your hand slightly, causing you to pause for a split second to look up at him in his eyes before going back down to work.

If he wasn’t in so much pain right now, he would’ve kissed you for sure. He missed this and he for sure missed you, he missed your caring attitude for him and your touch.

Oh, your touch was enough to drive him insane and he knew it, he also knew that he drove you insane too. So, when he saw your reaction to him taking off his suit, he knew there was still a chance with you. He was focused-

No,

Enticed by the way your hand glided over his body so smoothly, even with the gloves you had on he could feel it. Feel how warm and sweaty your palms were through the gloves, and how you had kept the manicure you had done fresh with it.

He didn’t want this moment between the two of you to end, the tension was there now more than anything. He knew better than to go to a hospital, that’s why he came straight here and mumbled to you the entire time you escorted him to the couch not to call for them.

Maybe it was the heat of the moment or the amount of blood he had lost but his heart was pounding, harshly. It could’ve been the swigs of wine you had also kept on the side for him as you worked on his sculpted body. Whatever started it he hoped you hadn’t heard his heart ready to beat out of his chest, embarrassment flushing his cheeks through the pain.

Now the two of you had moved onto the much harder part of this. It was time to seal his wound shut, and honestly you were sure you had gotten a reaction out of him because he had let go of your hand and began to drink more of the wine you he picked up from the counter. As you finished soon after you grabbed the small pair of sewing scissors you had, cutting the thread before placing them all to the side.

You dabbed his wound yet again with a mix of hydrogen peroxide and rubbing alcohol before grabbing the large pair of bandages you had ‘borrowed’ from your bathroom as you both began to wrap his body up. Making loops around his upset and lower abdomen several times before you cut it and taped it together, making sure it was tight enough to keep the wound compact, but loose enough for him to relax and breath freely in.

As he stayed on the couch, he fixed himself properly, changing positions and was now sitting with his back against the couch's backboard. He wanted to get up and help you as you put everything away and cleaned up, the smell of the bleach from the kitchen hitting his nose, but he was instructed by you to stay put, so he did.

But as soon as you returned and sat by his side with your face only inches away from his as you repeatedly asked if he was alright, he couldn’t help himself. The last glimpse you had gotten of him was a smirk plastered on his face as he looked at you with those beautiful strained red eyes of him before he leaned in closer and kissed you.

You knew this would’ve happened, from the way he squeezed or rubbed your hand when you were patching him up. Or how this time he wouldn’t dare to look away from you no matter what you did, there was even a time where he played with your hair for a while as you wiped him down, pretending like you hadn’t known.

Now he was kissing you, and you were kissing him back, your hand quickly making way to cup his face. He wasted no time placing a hand on your upper neck and lower jaw, another one on your waist as he deepened the kiss. Even the sudden boldness he pulled had him stunned, maybe it was the wine.

The same wine that you could now taste on his tongue as he entered your mouth fully now. You couldn’t tell if it was the wine or just his lips that tasted so good, but whatever it was you didn’t want it to stop. He could feel it in the way you moaned into the kiss, you were intoxicating, and he loved it.

So, of course even through the pain he wasted no time in pulling you onto him, breaking the kiss for a split second to look at you on top of him before pulling you back into the kiss. Both of your bodies growing hot and bothered as your moans became louder now, grinding on top of him as you felt his erection poking out from underneath you.

His hands quickly made way to your lower back before cupping your ass, smirking to himself as he kissed you. Your kisses went from long and passionate to sloppy quickly, you were practically able to hear the noises you two were making.

Oh, and how neither of you wished for such a blissful moment to end. Wishing you could keep up with one another’s passion and desire until sunrise, only until it was cut short. As Shouta pulled back in pain as your knee had accidentally brushed past against his wrapped wound. Quickly placing his hand over it and hunching over slightly, hissing at the feeling.

You were quick to apologize and dismantle him, now crouching down and placing a hand on his back as you asked if he was alright. Reassuring if he wasn’t you would’ve gotten ice to help soothe out the pain. He only shook his head and sighed, putting his hand out for you to give him a minute before placing it down.

“Listen, it’s getting really late, and you need all the rest you can get to heal.” You started off, looking away as you spoke to him, you asked yourself if you sounded like a hypocrite. Telling him to get some rest when you were the entire reason he was still up in the first place. “I’m going to bed too, since I’m tired… I’ll see you later in the morning?” You said, now turn in to look at his expression.

No, that’s not what he wanted, he didn’t want to wait until tomorrow or the next day after. He wanted you now, he wanted your hands on him and your lips on his. He wanted to taste you, to touch you, and to enjoy you, and it seemed like right now you were denying his pleasure to do so, and he hated it.

He only sighed, ruffling his hair slightly before standing up and keeping a hand placed over his injury as he winced. He slowly stepped over to you, his eyes shining from the sun yellow lighting in his living room as he looked into your own eyes. As he inched himself forward to your face you almost immediately pulled back without hesitation, keeping your head down with a frown.

“Sho- “

You were cut off by Shouta now visibly upset, shutting whatever you were about to say down before saying goodnight to you harshly. Moving around you as he made his way to his room, making it known he had arrived when you heard his door slamming shut. You frowned to yourself as you turned off the light in the living room as you made your way back to your room.

Things weren’t the same as before, you couldn’t just go back to him with full embrace knowing what you’ve been hiding from your past and how important it was for you to keep work and personal things separate. He was injured for fucks sake, there was barely anything the two of you could’ve done anyways, but even so the fact he came up to kiss you just now must’ve meant something to him.

You thought to yourself as you now entered your room, checking to ensure your phone was charging before wrapping your hair and climbing in bed. You got underneath your covers with a large sigh before shutting your eyes and attempting to drift off to sleep. The entire situation of the events that had played barely 15 minutes ago replaying in your head, especially Shouta’s hurt expression after you rejected him before he left.

There’s no possible way that everything that had happened between the two of you, especially your breakup, had just been swept under the rug. As much as you wanted to pursue further with him and see where it would lead you, you knew there was a high possibility of your primary breakup happening again. Maybe things could’ve gotten way worse than they had been years back.

It’s not that easy to get with your ex, everyone knows that.

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[seasons-beatings]

Happy holidays, @whumpy-wyrms!

From your gifter: Author's Note: This was such a fun little piece to write! Thanks for letting me borrow your miserable men. I hope you enjoy <3

Summary: After Dew gets his wings (literally), Anton wonders if the transformation caused any other side effects. Despite Dew protestations, he must find out.

Contains: Lab whump, noncon drugging, medical whump, graphic depictions of surgery, carewhumper, mild gore, test subject whumpee, needles, mentions of past noncon body modification, winged whumpee

Science Doesn’t Sleep, But Test Subjects Do

Anton smiled to himself as he knocked on the door to Dew's room, giving his test subject a bit of warning before he pushed the door open. He couldn't help but smile as stepped inside to see Dew curled up on the bed, blanket covering his lower and half, and wings-those luscious, marvelous, miracle wings-curled around his torso protectively.

Seeing them made his heart sing, and Anton didn't think that would ever change. The experiment had gone so beautifully well. A part of him couldn't believe that it had worked at all, but the evidence was impossible to ignore. Dew had grown wings. His life's work was coming to fruition.

Quietly, he approached the bed, crouching down by Dew's head. He knew the hour was early, possibly obscenely so, though it was always difficult to tell where the line was, but the procedure he had in mind for today needed to take place before Dew had eaten, and the results would probably take him some time to interpret. He reached out, patting Dew's shoulder. "Hey, buddy, you awake?"

After a moment, Dew groaned, lazily opening an eye. He groaned again, louder, when he realized it was Anton who had disturbed him. "Whaddaya want.." He mumbled as he buried his face in the mattress.

Anton tutted, turning the lights in his room all the way up. "We've got a few tests to get through this morning. Nothing difficult, all you have to do is lay there."

Dew shook his head, lifting the pillow to hide underneath it, wings curling in even more.

"C'mon sleepy head, none of that." He frowned as he pulled the pillow away, leaning it up against the headboard.

Slowly, Dew opened his eyes, squirting at Anton."Can't it wait until a more decent time?"

"Science waits for no man," Anton smiled, patting him on the shoulder and offering him a bouffant cap. "After this you can have a big breakfast, okay? Maybe the chocolate chip pancakes?"

Dew looked up at him, eyes wide and brimmed with tears as he nodded. His voice was quiet when he spoke. "Okay."

Anton was pleasantly surprised with Dew's compliance as he got his subject situated on the operating table at the center of his lab. When he was first constructing the space, he hadn't been so sure about about investing in the table and the overhead lights for it, along with everything else, but he was now more than getting his money's worth. Being strapped down to it always made Dew's eyes go wide, but he hoped that would fade with time.

"I'm going to give you your sedative first, okay Dewey?" He reached back for a pair of gloves and his IV access tray. Dew had great veins, adding just another reason to why he was such a wonderful subject. With some ketamine in him, he was nearly perfect.

Unfortunately, Dew didn't seem to appreciate that as much as he did. When Anton started to wipe his hand off with an alcohol wipe so he could place the cannula, Dew sobbed, sniffling.

"What're you even gonna do to me?"

Anton couldn't help but smile as he sunk the needle in. "I'm so glad you asked." He ignored the way Dew groaned quietly in the background. "Today, we're going to do a quick little kidney biopsy."

Dew flinched at that, blinking the tears out of his eyes. "Wha? Why?"

He hummed, tapping down the IV to the top of his hand. "Well, as I explained previously, the serum I gave you that stimulated your wing development" -they were really such wonderful wings, he would never be over that-- "used portions of bird DNA as a template." He flushed the line, and Dew shivered when the cold saline entered his veins. "Now, little known fact, bird kidneys contain both mammalian and reptilian nephrons. I'm curious to see if you've started to develop these traits internally."

Dew whimpered quietly as he drew up the sedative, double checking the dosage calculations in his mind. His subject's hands were already kneeling against the thin padding of the operating table pulling at the piped edges. The poor thing always got himself so worked up.

"I know it sounds scary," he said, keeping his voice gentle as he flicked the syringe. "But it's very important that l investigate this. Making sure any mutations stay contained is vital to my research." He screwed the syringe into place. "You know I wouldn't put in any more pain than was ever strictly, scientifically necessary."

His subject sniffled again, shaking his head and muttering something under his breath.

"What was that?" Anton asked, thumb lightly resting on the syringe's plunger. Dew just glared at him, eyes watering, and he shook his head. "It's okay. Let's calm down now, yeah Dewey?"

He slowly depressed the plunger, pushing the medication into Dew's blood stream. As it took effect, he watched a blissful expression slide over his face, and his eyelids started to droop.

Much better. Much better indeed.

***

Now that Dew was much more relaxed, Anton found preparing for the procedure to be much easier. He could finally focus on all the minute details, as he preferred to do. A procedure like this was meticulous, and Anton wouldn't have had it any other way.

First, he pulled Dew's gown off and attached him to the monitors. Just in case, he looped an oxygen mask around Dew's face, so he wouldn't have to worry if his oxygen suddenly took a dip while he was working, and started him on a liter of fluids, to keep his pressure up. Then, he carefully positioned Dew on his side, placing supports under his downward shoulder, head, and behind his back, and then holding up his top arm with two pillows. He looked a little silly, but it would save him quite a bit of soreness when he woke up.

Next, he moved on to setting up his instruments. He'd spent a while planning a kit that worked perfectly for him. For this procedure, he had two basic surgical sets, of which he unwrapped the outer drape of, careful not to contaminate it, then deposited extra surgical swabs, suction tips, electrocutery pens, and sample collection dishes. Next came the pack of drapes, which he easily tore open, but didn't unfold. Because he was operating alone, draping could be difficult, but he'd manage it when he was sterile. Before he went to do just that, he opened the sterile pack containing his gown, and peeled open the sterile, size seven point five glove package and dropped them in as well.

With the exception of the actual operation itself, the scrub had to be Anton's favorite part.

He lathered on the bright orange antimicrobial soap, starting at his fingers and methodically working his way down, all the way to his elbows. Afterwards, he went as his fingernails, as well trimmed as they were, carefully removing every trace of contamination from underneath them. He washed for another two minutes, using the brush side of the sponge on his fingertips, before using the softer side to wipe the rest of his hands and arms down.

From there, he moved over to the table, thoroughly drying each of his hands with the towels that were packaged with his gown. After they were dry, he pulled the gown up off the packaging, letting it unfurl downwards, before stretching his arms inside it and pulling it on. This was the part that an assistant would've been helpful for, and it hurt him dearly as he fastened the velcro behind his head, careful not to brush his mask, cap, or the exposed skin of his neck, and making sure to only touch the outside of the gown. It hurt his soul, but it needed to be done. His experiment had to stay secret. An assistant was too much of a risk. Sighing to himself, he moved on to the gloves, pulling them down over the cuffs of his gown.

He finished the rest of the preparations that needed to be done while he was sterile, moving efficiently as he laid out the collections of forceps, clamps, and retractor,s and scissors, scalpels and needles, sutures and syringes and anything else he could possibly need, organizing them along with the sponges and swabs. Next, he set up his suction and diathermy, which he'd modified to all be controllable with a series of various foot petals. He thought it was pretty ingenious, though, of course, it wasn't exactly like he could share it with anyone.

Next came the prepping and draping. Anton thoroughly scrubbed Dew's back with a chlorhexidine solution, before starting to drape him. Once again, because he only had one person, his draping wasn't exactly perfect technique, and he found himself wincing behind his mask.

Luckily, it was over soon enough, and then he could move on to the main event. He'd gone for the right kidney, since the literature seemed to say that it would be easiest to access. Before he cut, he carefully palpated Dew's spine, finding the edge of his rib and following it along to his mid-axillary line. After quickly numbing the area with a syringe of lidocaine, he plucked a scalpel off the table and made the first incision.

Smiling to himself, he sliced through the layers of Dew's skin, then used his fingers to tear apart the muscle until he got down into the perineum. He suctioned and cauterized as necessary, cursing himself for not installing a better ventilation system. If he was being honest, the singed flesh smelled absolutely god awful.

There was a tired, slightly pained groan from the table as he worked. "It's okay, Dewey.

You'll be just fine," Anton said softly, doing his best to comfort. Though, that was really the point of the ketamine. Dew wouldn't remember any of this.

He hummed, smiling slightly as he got down into the retroperitoneum. One of Anton's big concerns had been that Dew's kidney would be difficult to locate, but once he'd started cutting, he'd found that this wasn't going to be a problem at all. His right kidney was very superficial, easily identifiable without any trocar placement at all. Just one more way the Dew really was the perfect subject.

Using a pair of forceps and a pad, he pushed open the fat pad, revealing the flesh of Dew's kidney. He couldn't help but poke at the organ, feeling the warmth through his gloved finger. There was another wide grin on his face again. It was beautiful.

Dew whimpered again, breath hitching, and Anton pulled his hand away. He needed to get on with the actual procedure. Dew didn't need his abdominal cavity open any longer than was strictly necessary. Refocusing, he pushed the Trucut needle in and collected the biopsy sample, then repeated it with a second needle. He'd gotten what he came for.

"That's the worst of it," he hummed as he withdrew the second needle, setting it to the side so he could close.

He used the diathermy forceps to stop any of the bleeding from the biopsy site on the kidney, then started to close, neatly suturing up Dew's skin layer by layer. His subject was still whimpering quietly, Anton wished he could lay a comforting hand on his shoulder, but his words would just have to do.

"You're all done," he said as he numbed the site generously, hoping that it would make waking more comfortable, before bandaging the surgical site. "See, that wasn't so bad, hun? Just like

Satisfied with his work, he pulled his gown and gloves off, then took down his mask. Dew was still distant, but his eyes still flickered up towards Anton as he squatted down so he was at face level. "You did so well for me, Dewey." He reached a hand out, petting his subject's hair. "So, so

Dew just mumbled in response, and Anton smiled sadly. If only Dew could be this pliant and relaxed all of the time, then they would really be unstoppable.

[yuribomber]

@rat-counter i did it for you and i counted 147. hope this helps!

day 1 at the communal puzzle club: i see a puzzle with a sign next to it that says "please help with our communal puzzle" and i say to myself "don't mind if I do" and did the whole thing

day 2 at the communal puzzle club: i get gently reprimanded for not sharing the puzzle experience with the others. in my defense I thought they needed all the help they could get

day 3 at the communal puzzle club: we start a new puzzle and i put one of the pieces in my pocket and save it for later so i can be the one who puts in the last piece

day 4 at the communal puzzle club: the puzzle is almost complete so i reach into my pocket and realize i left the last piece in my other pants which are currently in the washing machine. i feign ignorance

day 5 at the communal puzzle club: the others are suspicious but they have no proof. they check my pockets before i leave but little do they know that this time i ate the pieces

day 6 at the communal puzzle club: i put an entire bottle of miralax in my coffee to get the pieces out of my digestive system but they are too far dissolved to be usable. my stomach is in so much pain and i can't stop shitting but i rinse off what's left of the pieces and make it to puzzle club anyway, only to find out they don't meet on mondays. i am inconsolable.

day 7 at the communal puzzle club: i realized those pieces are incriminating evidence so i slipped them in someone else's pocket. i should be good as long as they don't find residual traces of my dna

day 8 at the communal puzzle club: there is an odd feeling in my gut. i feel as if something has been awoken in me

day 9 at the communal puzzle club: i am in such deep focus that the others are starting to fear me. either that or they are cowering away from the communal puzzle out of sheer respect for my skills

day 10 at the communal puzzle club: i'm getting better and better, i can now do several puzzles in one day. the others are discussing what to do about me in hushed tones. little do they know my laser focus allows me to hear everything they say. they aren't a threat.

day 11 at the communal puzzle club: the club manager unlocked the door but already i am inside. ive been here all night doing puzzles in the dark. they threaten to ban me from the club so in response i pick a 500 piece puzzle at random and complete it in under 45 minutes, just to show them who the real authority is

day 12 at the communal puzzle club: i have been officially banned from the communal puzzle club. in a fit of rage i grab as many pieces as i can and eat them, making sure to thoroughly chew and swallow every single one. if i can't do them, no one can.

day 13 at the communal puzzle club: it's monday again. the club doesn't meet today. it's the perfect opportunity to break in and do as many puzzles as my heart desires, without any of the club's petty drama to distract me

day 14 at the communal puzzle club: i am in jail because the club manager snitched to the cops like the pathetic weakling they are. this is the worst night of my entire life there aren't any puzzles here

day 15 at the communal puzzle club: the judge let me off with a restraining order since I didn't actually steal anything. i show back up to communal puzzle club just to make a show of ripping the order to shreds. no piece of paper will dictate my life, only jigsaw-cut cardboard has that power. nothing else.

day 16 at the communal puzzle club: everyone is so quiet today when I walk in. I eat some pieces in a show of force, just to remind everyone who's in charge. I comment that they taste somewhat like strychnine, they say it's just because Ravensburger has a new method of chemically processing their pieces. sounds plausible. 30 minutes later i am convulsing violently but i beg them not to call an ambulance until i finish the puzzle i was working on. but the bastards don't listen and I'm shipped off to the hospital kicking and screaming.

day 17 at the communal puzzle club: i spent the night in the hospital. a detective comes in and says they're investigating the manager of the communal puzzle club for attempted murder and asks what i know. i tell him honestly that i ain't no snitch and spit in his face. he says they have more than enough evidence to prosecute regardless.

day 18 at the communal puzzle club: the club manager is on trial for attempted murder and i am called as a witness. i tell the judge that i ain't no snitch and spit in his face. i am held in contempt of the court

day 19 at the communal puzzle club: the defense makes a plea of justifiable self defense, citing the restraining order that isn't even 1 week old. somehow the judge buys that flimsy defense. i mean, this is the same judge who didn't even recognize me from that same case despite being the same judge. i think the poor old man has dementia so i make a motion for a mistrial. it gets shot down because the system is corrupt.

day 20 at the communal puzzle club: the judge says i should get jail time but he decided i should be in a mental facility instead. i don't know why he would think that, i have been nothing but sane my entire life. god forbid a woman have hobbies

day 1 in the psych ward: they have puzzles in here this is amazing

day 2 in the psych ward: all the puzzles are missing a few pieces. this is unacceptable. im going to go insane

day 3 in the psych ward: i have been informed that they do not use the word "insane" in here so i take back my previous statement.

day 4 in the psych ward: i need to find those missing pieces i need to find them i need to find them i have been questioning everybody all the nurses all the doctors all the patients all the miscellaneous hospital staff but nobody knows anything. this is hopeless. i will never be able to overcome this trauma. my life is over

day 5 in the psych ward: it's so boring in here. without complete puzzles there's nothing to do except watch tv but the only channel they get is the local news. i begrudgingly watch out of nothing but all-encompassing ennui. but one of the stories is about the communal puzzle club and suddenly i am overcome with nostalgia. turns out there was a series of alleged poisonings attributed to that location. strychnine was found in three people so far, one of whom was myself. but the others didn't survive. this confirms my suspicion that i am in fact the chosen one

day 6 in the psych ward: with a renewed sense of purpose i will attempt to convince the doctors of my "sanity," but i also came to the realization that they don't care about sanity, they only care about sedation. they want to supress my passion, eradicate my truth, condition me to fall in line with the rest of the "sane" people. with that knowledge, i was able to tell them everything they wanted to hear. i acted polite, pretended i was cured, i even feigned complete disinterest in puzzles! it made my stomach boil but i did it, i convinced them, and just like that, i was free.

day 28 at the communal puzzle club: i don't know why everyone was so surprised to see me again, it's only natural that i'd come to finish what i started

(i know this is supposed to be day 27 at the communal puzzle club but day 27 was a monday so nothing happened) like what am i gonna say, "day 27 i sat alone in my studio apartment eating cereal and biding my time"

day 29 at the communal puzzle club: the communal puzzle club has been disbanded, the club manager has been arrested, and the whole place is swarming with cops. i watched as they hauled off a bunch of expensive looking printers and like a billion reams of paper and loaded them onto a big police truck. apparently, the communal puzzle club was just a front for document forgery and counterfeit cash, and i had been inadvertently sabotaging them this entire time. which is sad because i support both of those things. but it also explains why they met 12 hours a day, 6 days a week and why they had their own building despite having no profit model and also why i was the only one who seemed to actually care about the puzzles. everyone else was too busy making fake passports to care.

in hindsight, i always knew they were all a bunch of casuals. but i didn't mind because they had so many excellent puzzles. I asked one of the officers if i could at least have the puzzles but he said they were already taken and locked away in the evidence room. the thought sickens me- all those puzzles, gathering dust, never to be assembled again. or maybe the pigs just took them for themselves! so they could have all the puzzles they want while the rest of us ordinary, law-abiding citizens have nothing to do except die of boredom!

the moral of the story is that we can never have nice things because of the fucking pigs. fuck the police.

the fuck did i just read?

my local library was having a puzzle swap and there was a puzzle with a sign next to it that said "please help with our communal puzzle" and i thought "wouldn't it be funny if i did the entire thing by myself" and then i did the entire thing by myself while rolling that thought around in my brain and as it rolled it started picking up all the various mold spores and fungus i keep up there. like a katamari

[lucabyte]

ppl saying they look to my comics for inspiration and pointers on how to format things is WILDDDD to me (and delightful don't get me wrong!! i am overjoyed) because like. none of you are privvy to the absolute WAHHH I DONT WANNNAAA bitchfits i was *CONSISTANTLY* throwing every time i forced myself to make a comic before i got into isat. like no joke. i considered comics such a fucking difficult medium they always drained my drawing energy so hard because they always felt like they took sooo long and had so many moving parts and were so much harder than storyboards (WHICH I ALREADY STRUGGLED WITH) because you had to account for panel shape and speech bubbles and-- like you get it. but genuinely for real. the sheer amount that i complained whenever i clawed my way through drawing a comic (which thus! was not very fucking much!!) compounded by the fact that i *genuinely have trouble reading comics*. as in, i really struggle to parse the flow of contiguous movement or action between panels (possibly connected to the fact ive got mad aphantasia?) of even really well done best-of-the-best professional comics...

... BUT. basically. what im trying to get at is. if you wanna learn to draw comics, evidently you super can?! I genuinely *didnt* draw comics before drawing isat fanart! I have no idea what it was about ISAT fanart that made it finally click for me? (I think it was... not having to think about colour? Removing a step from the process really helped. Plus, it being fanwork meant I could just start en-medias-res and not have to think about setup... Trying to cram too much explanation and setup into my oc stuff was always a big hurdle too...)

I find them fast to do now! and damn if i dont value speed in art (<- impatient little fucker). its still going slowly on my oc comics.. mostly due to the colour again, i think. but it's not extremely, ecruciatingly difficult anymore. is what im saying. and im genuinely baffled by it every time i put pen to page. its fucked up. did you guys know that practice makes things easier? . fucking perverted if you ask me.

As for looking at other people's things for inspiration. if you want to know where I was looking when I was piecing together the first couple fancomics I did for ISAT i want to specifically point at . well besides everything rebecca sugar has ever done (for hands and facial expressions *especially*), the main person i really dug into the work of was Leo Fox (Website link). I feel like i wanna point people to the source of a lot of the inspiration for my more off-kilter panel choices so you all can get the full experience rather than through my regurgitated mimesis. I'm now at the point where i can wing panel layout so i wasn't in there for longgg but. everyone go add it to your knowledge banks as for SUBJECT MATTER aka why i am i so deranged. those are squarely the 2019 postcanon homestuck golden era bleeding through my CLENCHED BITTEN DOWN JAW. A BULL TERRIER ON YOUR BRACHIAL ARTERY. namely that @/floralmarsupial and @/tomatograter's works (no i am not tagging them . im shy) are things i go back to frequently and floralmarsupials pure black/white inktober comics were *especially* an inspiration. if you've been following me a few months you may remember me reblogging a bunch of their stuff from 2019~2021 for seemingly no reason. this was why. The narratively divorced reality of jade strider & Liminal Space are big in my mind here. I balk to call myself anywhere near as good as these but these are what i'm aiming for, tonally and quality-ways with it. also detective pony but ive mentioned that already and thats farrrr too inside baseball for this post.

BUT YEAH TL;DR: I DIDNT DRAW LIKE ANY COMICS UNTIL UHHHH LIKE, WHAT, LIKE 8 MONTHS AGO? JESUS. ANYWAY. THIS MEANS YOU 🫵🫵🫵 CAN DO IT TOO. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. DATTEBAYO!!!!

[sigmasoyboy]

hi!! ive been in and out of this whole AU/ different series for a cool minute actually, as a black American i would love to hear more Lesley, im absolutely obsessed. also with Agon and Jasper!! my favorite three peeps honestly, if theres any more spare info or stories plz drop🙏🏾. (also i love the writing for Coeus's "bad sex experience" all in all your honestly my favorite person😭) MUCH LOVE STAY SAFE🩷🩷🩷🥰

hihi you are too cute, I can spare a few facts about these three just for you anon ( ⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝)

Lesley:

- while not an avid gamer per se, Lesley does play a few games, notably Daggerfall. Wallace ends up watching him play it when Elov is in the hospital; since it's honestly pretty much a novel you can play, he actually gets pretty invested in it, asking all sort of questions about the lore he didn't see. Lesley also enjoys having someone to watch him even if it's hard to tell from the outside.

- most of what he grows are regular vegetables (potatoes, kale, carrots, onions, turnips, brussell sprouts, rhubarb, mostly hardy crops that resist the Scottish weather) and fruits from the small orchard his grandparent planted (apples, pears and damsons), but tucked away in the garden shed he actually has a couple cannabis plants he grew after his grandparents died. It's mostly for himself, though he has smoked with victims in the past.

he sometimes goes foraging for berries or mushrrom when the season is there, taking the dog with him for an extra long walk. He used to do that with his grandparents.

- since he works nights at the fish processing plant he has a bit of an inverted sleep schedule, though he doesn't sleep for very long in total (usually around 4-5 hours with a few naps peppered throughout the day). He works from 10 pm to 5:30 am, goes home, walks the dog, feed the animals and has breakfast, tend to the garden until about 11 am where he'll take a nap until lunch time after walking the dog again, then his afternoon is a mix between chores, being on the computer and taking care of the animals. At around 4 pm he goes to sleep until 9 ish, where he'll eat and get ready for work. This routine is rarely disturbed.

- he often works week-ends and holidays since he doesn't really care/celebrate anymore.

- most of his kills are done during his days off so sometimes he gets to spend them with someone else, but usually he uses the extra time to play some games, forage, harvest crops or make preserves/chutney/pickles/etc…

Egon & Jasper:

- when they were sleeping in the streets, they would share a sleeping bag, which was great for extra warmth but a hassle before Egon's incontinence issues were resolved. This might be why they formed an habit of sleeping so close together.

- they kiss with a lot of tongue since Jasper has close to no sensations on his lips anymore. Egon enjoys the sloppy mess they create together.

- Egon calls Jasper ugly a lot, but there's always love in his mockery. He's not just an ugly guy, he's his ugly guy. In his words, they're freaks, but there's a sense of belonging with each other in the word.

- they lived in a few different communal squats in the past but community living isn't that compatible with Egon's difficult temper, so they found and claimed their own little abandoned place to call home. They even got a power generator in there so they have the luxury of electricity babyyy

- they share clothes, even though they have a few pieces they tend to gravitate towards more than the others. Jasper is not very fashion conscious as long as it doesn't draw too much attention to him, Egon has his own personal sense of style but he doesn't care about brands. Most of what they own come from either shoplifting or thrift shops.

- speaking of shoplifting, they do it less now (mostly Jasper, Egon is more prone to still doing it), but they still regularly dumpster dive behind supermarkets (which is illegal in Germany). That's how they do most of their groceries so they tend to eat a lot of different stuff since they can't shop around. When they get a pretty good haul, they often will share with the folks who still live in the streets. When he comes home late from his job Jasper will also ask around for unsold products at bakeries and such, which usually does net him something to bring home.

- they still use a cheap gym membership to get access to a shower, except now they will also use the equipment from time to time, which is a great way for Egon to spend his extra energy. At home, they collect rainwater to be able to flush the toilet and do basic things like wash their face, shave, and brush their teeth. All in all, they are managing pretty well.

[hannahssimblr]

I get suspended, but it’s not that bad. 

The last time, when I set the toilet paper dispenser on fire, it was a lot more of a traumatising experience than this. Everyone was so concerned about me becoming an arsonist that I needed to spend several hours speaking to a child psychologist about my motivations, which I explained was boredom and a fascination with watching little pieces of one ply toilet paper burn. It was likely the most worrying thing possible that I could have said. Still, through long, tedious conversation and a thousand boring questions and hypothetical scenarios we determined by the end of the week that I am merely troublesome rather than a deliberate menace and threat to the safety of teachers and students.

This is the same personality trait that got me kicked out of the boy scouts at ten. I am a disruptive influence, and the therapist simply recommended more supervision, which I did not receive from my casually neglectful parents. At least I never set a toilet stall on fire again.

This week is more about watching TV and playing my PlayStation. I do not have to go to a psychologist to go to, just the hospital to get a trio of stitches in my head and checked for a concussion, which I don't have, and then I am back, melding to the couch, playing Grand Theft Auto IV until I am jittery and my eyes are so manic I feel like I have to manually blink them. 

My mother is extremely kind to me, which is interesting. She panicked after I arrived at Trisha Bailey’s house to collect Ivy earlier than expected last Tuesday with blood pouring from a wound in my head and promptly fainted on the parquet floor in front of two eight year old girls. She had to leave work early to come and get me, and she barely even complained about it. She’s been treating me like I’m made of glass ever since, while I, in tandem, have been making an effort to play up my injuries and fake headaches as much as possible so that she is forced to make snacks for me when she’s home from work. This is a pretty good reason to develop something like Munchausen’s Syndrome, I think. I’m actually being mothered, though it's most likely that she's worried that my dying or having brain damage would mean she'll have to hire a full time nanny or bring in another au pair from France who'll lift individual diamonds from her tennis bracelet over a period of months like the last one did.

She even brushes my hair back and kisses my forehead at one point, which feels like it is crossing a line, and is so weird that I feel urged to make a joke about it. It pisses her off and she doesn’t come near me again for the rest of the day, but that’s fine. I wanted to be alone with the TV anyway. 

One evening I go to Jen and Michelle’s, who both coo over me until I part my hair to show them my stitches, which they act disgusted by, but still, they make me snacks and coffee and tell me I am brave for standing up to Fitzy. I don’t deny it even if it’s not what I truly believe. 

Evan joins us later and acts less disgusted by the gash in my head. He wants to know about Fitzy, who he thinks is a massive dickhead, and how badly I hurt him back. I exaggerate, but figure it’s okay because he is suspended too. It’s not like anybody will see him and call me a liar. I’ll tell them that the thumbnail scratch on his cheek was intentional and they will all believe me. 

He and I go out onto the seafront and smoke together, far away from Jen, who is supposed to be off them but will beg for one if she smells them, and Michelle, the daughter of a medical doctor who shuns them and judges anyone who doesn’t. 

“I kind of wish I’d seen the fight,” Evan is saying as we stroll along in the drizzle, and the end of his cigarette crackles and glows in the haze of the night, “Just to see Willy’s stupid face when you smacked it.”

“Yeah, I mean… he looked pissed off I guess. I don’t really remember, I was all adrenaline.”

“I’ve never been in a fight.”

“You don’t want to be. It’s horrible. I only did it because-” I break off and shrug, “Well, you know why, I suppose.”

I see him peering at me from the corner of my eye as I look over the bay, “Is she worth it?”

I sigh, “Yeah, sure. I don’t know. I think it’s complicated. I don’t regret it but I don’t know if she’d appreciate it either, like she might say that defending her like that is too intense.”

“Is that because you’re not properly together?”

“Yeah.”

“Hm. She should be grateful,” Evan says around a mouthful of smoke, and I don't respond. 

“What’s she like?”

I don’t really know how to answer, “Um, she’s nice, she’s, like, sweet under this cool-girl exterior, and really smart.”

Evan laughs, “No, that’s not what I mean. I’m just asking, you know, since she’s supposedly pretty experienced and all that…I just was curious…”

“Oh,” I scratch my head, careful to avoid my stitches which itch almost constantly, “Are you, like, asking me what sex is like? I dunno, man, stick your finger in your mouth. It’s like that times a million.”

“Oh, c’mon, I’ve done it. Christ sake. I was just wondering if it ever gets better.”

I pause as I try to determine whether he’s really trying to have a heart to heart with me or if I'm just picking him up wrong. Either way it's a bit awkward, and I don’t know what to say other than, “Yeah, man, I mean, I don’t know what your situation is or anything but it gets a lot better,” I flick my cigarette onto the path and immediately start pulling another out of the packet. Not that I usually smoke more than one at a time, it’s just I am hoping my fumbling around will interrupt this conversation. 

It doesn’t. 

“Michelle is pretty shy, you know, during,” He admits, and my face burns. I really do not want to think about them that way. 

“Most girls are shy. We’re still pretty young.”

“Yeah but, I dunno, it bothers me a bit, and then I see guys like you and girls like Alison and I think that you must have it all figured out. Do you know what I mean?”

“We don’t really, we’re all just kind of muddling our way through.”

“Yeah, but you must have- I mean, you always have a girlfriend.”

I’m surprised he even paid that much attention to me, “Yeah, most of the girls I’ve gone out with never wanted to do anything more than kiss.”

His eyebrows vanish under his fringe, “Really?”

“Yeah, they’re mostly not ready for anything else. It’s fine, I’m okay with it because it’s just part of how it goes. I just focus on how lucky I feel when someone does want to… let me.”

“Like Alison.”

“Yeah.”

“I think everything kind of makes sense now,” he smirks, eyes flicking to my head wound, and I’m certain that whatever he is thinking about me now, my motives and my reasoning for fighting my friend in the changing rooms, he is most likely wrong. 

“Look,” I stop walking and wave my cigarette around vaguely, “you guys will figure it out, huh? I don’t know what to tell you about it. She really seems to like you, so,”

“Yeah,” he says glumly, “I like her too, it’s just that I wish some things were better. Like, she’s barely allowed to come out at night and hang out.”

“Yeah, I suppose that's because her parents are strict.”

“Right! Her mam always gets so annoyed about her being out too late, and then it’s a big drama, and Shell wants to talk about how annoyed she is, and I’m like, why does your mam even care about what you do? You know what I’m saying?”

“Yeah, I get it. It’d be nice if it were different, but,” I shrug, “You know it’s not for nothing, right? Like, I hate to be the guy that defends someone’s strict parents or whatever, but if they’re not strict on Michelle then they can’t be strict on Jen, and if they’re not strict on Jen, well,” I exhale a lungful of smoke, “You know how it is.”

“It’s annoying though.”

“You’ll have to learn to enjoy Michelle in the light of day, and if you stay together until college then you can do whatever you like.”

“College?” He echoes, pulling a face as though the suggestion of waiting that long is ludicrous and unfathomable, but college doesn’t seem so far away for me. I’m counting down. Fifteen months until we are finished school, I will have one last long, empty summer and then I will leave, I’ll vanish into thin air leaving behind nothing but the shadow of a boy, an imprint on a couch cushion, an unmade bed and a cereal bowl in the sink.

I already have September 2010 circled in bold red marker on a calendar with arrows and asterixis all around it because that's it, freedom. That’s when I will get on a plane and go somewhere far from here and never speak to anybody from this town again. Jen and Ivy and a select few others are the only ones who will know my whereabouts. College, to me, has been aspirational before I was even a teenager.

Evan hasn’t even thought that far ahead. 

“You can probably stick it out until then,” I say flatly, “If you’re in love or whatever.”

“Uh, yeah totally, I think we are. I think we’re good together, so I can probably just learn to deal with it.”

“It's worth it,” I don’t know why it would be hard anyway. Evan is so lucky. If I was in his position and had a girl who loved me like Michelle apparently loves him I don’t think any sacrifice would be too much. I'd be on top of the world. I only get to see her during the day? Wow, how lucky I’d feel just to be able to do just that. Eighteen months until we have the freedom to do whatever we like with our time together? What’s eighteen months? If it was real love with someone then I’d happily wait years. Maybe Evan is just a bit stupid or something. 

I drop a hand onto his shoulder, forgetting that sudden movements shock him, and he leaps about a meter in the air. I clear my throat as he gathers himself again. “You’ll figure it out.” I say.

He wants to go back to Michelle’s house where it’s warm and dry, but I’d rather take a walk by the sea for a while. Several days of being cooped up inside have made me feel all soft and cosy, which Doherty would probably say isn’t a good way to feel. He’d want me to take a bracing dip in the sea or run fifteen kilometres in the driving rain just to feel life pumping through my veins on a day like this. Thinking of his big bald head and angry face prompts me to flick my half smoked cigarette away and leave it smouldering in the cycle path. 

I should stop doing unhealthy things. 

I take out my phone and text Alison. 

Are you around?

I’m at home

Want company?

ok come over

Beginning // Prev // Next

[beebundt]

Self rec time <3 TAKE TWO

Rules: Share five of your own works (OF ANY KIND CUZ I WANT TO SEE YOUR HYPE). Then, tag five more people to share the things they’ve made.

1. Something you absolutely adore:

2. Something that was challenging to create:

3. Something that makes you laugh or smile:

4. Something that surprised you (how it turned out, how other liked it, etc.):

5. Something you want other people to see:

THANK KEW UR SO KIND FR!!!! THIS SOUNDS FUN SO I LOOKED THRU AND TRIED TO PICK THE MOST FITTING THINGS.......... they're all within a year, maybe 2 or so bc i have very little pieces i still like past that point 🥲

1. i made this during my first year of college, i wanted to do something kind of warm and sweet as a submission for my club's art magazine. i dont think anyone cared abt it too much bc the lgbt population there is. Small to say the least lmao. but i still liked how it turned out! i cant discredit myself for trying to experiment!

2. WHEWWW this one was an art trade and it took 2 months (i felt so bad and still do) and was the first time in a long time doing a big rendered piece so i was super nervous and unsure how i wanted it look. but i think it turned out ok!

3. i love looking back on the very first art from 2 years ago i made of my first active (and still) dnd pc, mimyr!! i still didnt know how i wanted to draw firbolgs' ears yet so you def see a transition there. shes grown and ive grown. i love her 🥺 old on left, newest on right for reference

4. the post these 3 are in is currently sitting at 39k+ notes which is just. so bizarre 😭 i do like how these sketches turned out but i feel like tumblr users will see a titty and go rabid. woman lovers unite

5. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO FOR THIS ONE SO ..... I CHOSE ONE OF MY FAVS IN RECENT YEARS TO SHOW OFF .? this was just a mindless doodle in a group canvas session but i still look back on this all the time bc its one of the most fun ive done in a Long time. been really trying to push myself to experiment with color/brushes that im unfamiliar with and be more sketchy again bc over-rendering makes me so miserable..... this is my happy place for sure

TBH IDK WHO WOULD BE OKAY WITH BEING TAGGED SO . i will leave this open for anyone who wants to join in on it and @ me so i can see too!! 🫵

[journalsouppe]

UNWOUND FUTURE RAAHHHHHHHH!!! What an AMAZING trilogy conclusion with such a perfect setup for future sequels. I cannot recommend playing Professor Layton enough.

All of the Professor Layton stickers are from @jordydrawsmerch which can be found here and here. Every other sticker is from Daiso!

All the writing is typed below!

Rating: 9.3 Played: Fa 2023 Port: HD mobile (iPad) Favorite? Y Replayable? Y Recommend? Y

Comments:

the way the PM walked T^T

LMFAO STACHENSCARFEN

Layton’s about to be beat up bc of his top hat (skull emoji)

Getting major DGS 2-3 vibes

FAMILY GOON

An arc arcade? You’re speaking my language

I LOVE THE BLOCK HAT PUZZLE PIECES SPELLING LAYTON IN JAPANESE!!!

FLORA STICKER

BABY LAYTON BLUSHING IM SCREAMING

I really love the picture book and its music

THE DEVIL IN THE TOP HAT NOO

Luke always takes the opportunity to roast the Laytonmobile (skull emoji)

THEYRE JUST SHOOTING AT EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING

THE ORIGINS OF LAYTONS HAT IM GONNA CRY T^T

I love that bi Luke has his own puzzle solving sequence

Where the fuck did you take us future Luke

The battle of wits was so fun omg

I cant get over evil Layton

BIG LUKE AND LITTLE LUKE

Omg Hershel in the background

Based p. Layton newspaper conversation

LMFAO Hershel trespassing and Luke stressed

The bee???? T^T

FLORA PUZZLE SOLVED SEQUENCE T^T!!!!

GO OFF FLORA!!!!

Ooo pretty Chinese arc

Hershel i swear

Hmmm young sir… who is big Luke?

NOT AVOGADRO

Did all the scientists piss their pants?

I have a lot of questions

Love the design and music of the pagoda

Where tf did Hershel go (skull emoji)

Omg Luke’s a Sherlock fan

I feel like Layton was replaced with evil Layton

I swear Dimitri had a mustache??

THE BARS

WHERE IS FLORA

DON PAOLO LMAO

THE LUKE MOBING SCENE MAKES ME WANT TO CRY

How many secret hideouts are there T_T

NOOO FLORA

The barkeep is v sketch

Chad laytonmobile

I can see how this game inspired dgs

THE KAZUMA AND CLIVE PARALLELS ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY

BEASLY AND PUZZLETTE HOLY SHIT

“That’s funny” :[

Ive been side eyeing some of these designs the past 2 games but yeah bostro’s design is def racist

DON PAOLO TURNIGN EVIL BC OF CLAIRE LOVING HERSHEL LMAO T-T and the running into the river omfg

Working with don paolo has been fun

I DIDNT THINK LAYTON WOULD ACTUALLY CUT THE ROPE

Where did Layton learn all this about Clive??

Summary:

WHAT A PHENOMENAL GAME!!! Truly what a great “conclusion” to the main trilogy. You learn so much about Layton, Luke, flora, and many other characters like don paolo. The ending reveal of Clive was CRAZY. It really reminded me of movies like howls moving castle/the iron giant. I also just love how complex Clive is. He was driven to violence because of how the government treated him and his family, but he never truly wanted to hurt people. He was without any hope and thought mass destruction would finally bring some change to the government, but he also made sure to include Layton in his plans because he so desperately wanted someone to stop him. It’s tragic and terrorism definitely wasn’t the way to go but at least this is a fictional story and that death machine looked kinda sick Ngl. The story of Layton and Claire was also so tragic yet so healing. Layton could finally take off his hat without feeling grief, you never would’ve known he was hurting that much. I loved Claire, she seemed like such an amazing person and I’m glad Layton wasn’t swayed to try to bring her back, although he did falter when he had to say goodbye again. Although I highly enjoyed the game, I am slightly disappointed there was no actual evil Layton. How fun would a game with evil Layton be omg. The whole game constantly caught me by surprise, even by small scenes like Beasly and PUZZLETTE. I’m still a littel confused about the lab experiments with Gumbo and subject 3, I’m not quire sure why they added that plot (and have no resolution) but I liked Gumbo fine. My favorite coin animal will always be hot dog though. I cannot recommend this series enough, I am having the time of my life. I can also see how DGS was heavily inspired by these games and im so glad about it bc dgs was game changing. I can’t believe there was a 26 year wait in between UF and NWOS but im glad to be a Layton fan :’) so fucking glad!!!!

[myreputatioooon]

Outis and the Dante Dish

AKA the messy five-second analysis of possible parallels and maybe self-report on the quality of my memory using Hell's Chicken only

to my greatest regret I fell off on watching Limbus playthroughts midway through Canto III and have only just started watching Canto IV, and with the breaks I'm taking off of catching up to Limbus comes time to digest what I'm watching

Particulary the part where Outis makes a dish for Papa Bongy and dedicates it to Dante by making it look like a clock, which I'm starting to think I misinterpreted, or at least didn't interpret wholly

Outis makes a dish to reach Papa Bongy's heart, yes, but she's dedicating it to her direct superior, Dante

It's a lot like how P.Bongy made chicken to make a meal using it that his mother would finally like

and this is where we can start branching in interpretations

1. Outis ≈ Papa Bongy, Dante ≈ P.Bong's Mother

this is likely the conclusion lots of people will make if they put fuck all into thinking about Outis and her enviornment, aka The City

It's easy to see why as well; Outis/Bongy wants to prove themselves to their superior Dante/P.B.'s mom

The thing is that while P.B's become disillusioned to a degree whilst still holding onto his relationship with his mother, Outis continues to stand her ground on her stance regarding Dante

plus Dante was touched by Outis' meal, whereas P.B's mom never touched his chicken due to being a picky eater preferring Pizza

2. Outis ≈ P.Bong's Mother, Dante ≈ Bongy

Instead of using the lens of superior and subordinate however, I'm much more a believer of this one idk how to name

You expect anybody aged and experience in City whose worked under her fair share of bosses to not find her own way of aquiring tactics that give her advantages in getting a leg up against death or other unwanted scenarios prior to Limbus Company?

Lobotomy & Library have proven how deplorable authorities are willingly to act towards those below them, it isn't unlikely that Outis had dogshit bosses and had to figure out how to rig the game in her favor aka be treated as least shittily as possible

Which likely involved bootlicking and egostroking; acts which may have turned her peers away from her, but they would be peers that mattered little if it meant her bosses felt less inclined to throw her towards the wolves and whatnot

And at her age, depending on how long she's been playing this act, it might even be second nature

Dante is an amnesiac who is also a decent person for now but we and she don't know jackshit about Dante prior to becoming clockface

What's the likelyhood Dante wasn't a piece of shit once upon a time?

What's the likelyhood she won't be under their command if they regain their memories and keeps their clockface memories?

she's doing herself a favor, protecting herself from Dante's future wrath by presenting herself as their most reliable most praiseworthy underling at their most ignorant

it's not her concern if Dante comes to feel insulted by her fellow sinners and makes them pay for it. Her wellbeing is her concern

She's just like Meursault like that, just with her own spin on his take

Dante thinks Outis is their most reliable employee when their relationship is just like how PB thought he was never good enough at making chicken when his mother never liked it all along and prefered Pizza

3. Yes

Circling back to the post I hyperlinked, where I chipped away at what might be a mask by Outis and then I fell for it again, the answer could be both

Outis could be torn between the two ideas, maybe she started at One, then ended up becoming Two, or the otherway around, or she was always split between these ideas

and thats where im ending this off because my brain wont brain anymore, teehee~!

[geddy-leesbian]

here's a snippet of the Miracle prequel :3

Luis didn't love that he was being taken off of the Nemesis Project and relocated from Lab 6 to a US Umbrella branch to try and pretend to be some random kid's new father. 

But he knew that you don't tell Umbrella no. You do what the company says you should do– no, you do everything they tell you to do and more– or they destroy you. The lucky ones will be taken to Rockfort and executed immediately. The unlucky ones will be used as test subjects or tortured just for the sake of torture.  So Luis stands in a white hallway by a door, holding a backpack and looking down at a piece of paper, trying to muster up the strength to look a child in the eye and blatantly lie to her.

He's one of the most charismatic people among Umbrella's ranks. He's a damn good liar too, it's how he survived life on the streets. That, alongside his specialization in parasites, was why he was selected for this task. He'd had time to contemplate his approach on the plane ride, because he didn't have all that much experience interacting with children specifically. Mostly he thought back to when he was first scooped off the streets and love bombed by Umbrella. But, other than verbal praise and validation that he was so smart and special, that had mainly involved taking him places and letting him pick out whatever he wanted. Not being allowed to take Lucia, the test subject he's supposed to pretend to adopt, outside of the Umbrella facility she was in, he'd just gone shopping himself, picking out a backpack and then filled it with an assortment of things he thought a little girl might like. The room he enters is even more depressing than the average hospital room. The shiny white walls are clean, too clean, unsettlingly sterile. All there is is medical equipment, and a hospital bed with a little girl. She's curled up in a ball, her face down on her knees. One arm is wrapped around her legs, the other is outstretched, connected to an IV drip. Luis had skimmed Test Subject #1's files and knew that their demise was caused by failure to thrive, the parasite leeching too much from its host, so Lucia's IV was likely extra nutrients to prevent that from happening again. The girl lifts her head up when she hears Luis walking in and lifts her head, sizing up Luis. “You don't look like a doctor.” “I'm not,” Luis says with a cautious smile. “Well, I'm not your doctor. I'm here because I've been thinking about adopting for a while, and when someone I knew mentioned there was an orphan in a hospital with no one to visit… Tugged at my heart strings.” “You're adopting me?” The girl's defeated eyes suddenly light up. “I get to leave?” Luis nearly breaks, but somehow holds himself together. “I would like to adopt you. They told me your name already, Lucia. I'm Luis. Can I sit?” Lucia nods and Luis sits down on the end of the hospital bed. “But you have to stay here longer. You're still sick, you have to stay here until you get better. But once you're all better, you'll come home with me.” Luis has done a lot of things he's not proud of, but he's never felt this dirty. “I'm not sick. Wasn't feeling sick when the orphanage guy said I was and took me here. And I don't feel sick now.” “That's because of the medicine,” Luis hates how easily the lie comes to him and slips out. “You are very sick, but they're giving you medicines here that are working so well that you don't feel even a little bit sick. If I took you home today, you would go downhill and start feeling real bad.” “But I hate it here.” “I know. Hospitals aren't fun. But I'm going to try to make things better for you, okay? I brought you a few things today,” Luis hands over the backpack. “And I'm going to talk to some of the hospital people and see if maybe we can get some things to make this room feel a little cheerier. And I'm going to visit you everyday.” “Every day?” “Every day. And I'll get you more stuff too,” Luis promises, as Lucia unzips the backpack and starts looking through the random little toys and coloring books Luis had stuffed it with. “It was just hard shopping before even meeting you, I had no idea what kind of things you would like.”

[carmenized-onions]

NEW CHAPTER, 14, new recap (can you believe the first one i recapped was chapter 5 oh my) lets rip some coke and goooo

“I thought it was a good bit!” “Cause I’m a piece of shit?” - IVE MISSED THISS

CHARMIN SOUNDS LIKE CHARMING 🥹🥹🥹

the deer in headlights bit is v funny, you’ll see when you see the memes (which i made before the chapter, i am nostradamus)

she is fruity for sure

nodding like i understand food talk (tf is a3)

unrelated but the same therapist thing reminded me about something i keep forgetting to bring up - RICHIE IS HR. so when you mentioned the bear needs an HR, well they do. and as long as carmy treats chip right i think he’ll accept the co-worker relationship (anything to be able to work with chippy)

THE CAT. he is those cute curly kitties. the shat, iykyk

the fact carmen wants to say ‘i love you’ this early (something he struggled a lot to say to his family) IS SOOOOOOOOO

OMG CHIPPY GOING TO WORK FOR THEM FOR REAL????:333333333

This has been Carmichael Burrowski, folks! Don’t call no one— — DNEKRKRIOELEKDKFODNEKE CARMICHAEL BURROWSKI

Ugh, boyfriend? What kind of word is ‘boyfriend’? That's fucked. - THEYRE SO SIMILAR AND PERFECT TOGETHER

And you cannot say you love him because that would be weird. - OH SHUT UP THEYRE SO

“I’m going to kiss you.” “Yeah, okay.” - THAT IS SO FUNNY SJDJFJKF

He’s fine with the touch of hair pulling, on your part— Possibly more than fine. — *giggles in meme*

“You’re so pretty.” You tell him anyway, speaking into his half open mouth.  Whatever thought he had, it’s dead now.“—Jesus fucking Christ.” - i need them to know how much i love them jesus fucking christ

“I’m not a fucking virgin.” - LMFAOEKRKKEOEKEKRNRKRKRKEKEKEKE

“It was a recent development, okay?” “Darn. Sorry I was late.” - 🥺🥺🥺 imagine -

“I want you in every sentence.” - FUCKING KILL ME WHY DONT YOU CARA MIA😭

to bite you like a cannibal - this man and his hickeys🤭🤭🤭

“Fak is still outside, I’m pretty sure.” - CHIP??1?2?2?3kr3kr3kr3kr838484kr4&4&4

“Wait— Are they?” Oh, so Richie’s here, too? Good. - oh great everyone’s here, bet squid is there too

NUZZLING NOSES

her old cat, her old pu-

Nuzzling your face into Syd’s cheek - squidink as she’s holding carm’s hand?? wild

“First of all, wrong placement.” - ofc it is

When shit happens, you call me - 🥺🥺🥺 bestie!!!

“Get your weird little hands off my Chip, you perv—” - LMFAOOOW DJEJEJDJDJ I LOVE HIM SO

and syd’s reply sidjdifi

“Y’know how going to a different barber is like cheating—?” - SJDJDJ GET HIS ASS CHIP. they swapped her for fucking ted fak???

“You’re still— We’re still sharing, right?” - SYD SHENJEHEJE

I’m sexually normal - very normal thing to say, it me tho

OMFG IF CHIP RECOGNIZES DONNA AND PETE FROM OUTSIDE THE RESTAURANT

“Baby’s do traditionally experience time, yeah.” “You n’ that smart mou—” - their dynamic is unmatched

You have to respect the power in that. “Damn.” - that reminded me of marcus

“Oooh, Charmin gets his first paycheck suddenly he’s all that—” “You wanna come up to my room or not?” - i was gonna comment on the charmin thing but HELLO1??1?23)kr3:kr

THEY CAN HANG. SURE BRO

THEYRE WATCHING RATATOUILLE OMGGGGG

Sleeveless black turtleneck? Maybe black palazzo pants - HOT

Please say yes to the white apron. Please say yes to his team. He'll get your initials monogrammed and everything. - *passes out*

the wonderful rat chef

ON GOD

“Yeah. I’ll answer.” - bc 🥺😭

“You’re fucking Carmen!” - GOODBYEEEE. not carmen outing them YET AGAIN

“So fuck you, actually.” - 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

“Fuck off! I’m already coming to fucking Time Square with you, don’t be whiny.”  - this is giving when dwight was like ‘of course i’ll get that stuff for you so just shut up’

“I nominate Carmen.” “I second the nom.” - tag-team<33

Don’t fuck in a fuckin’ Holiday Inn Chip’s worth mo - he’s so sweet and yet so???

HE CALLED CHIP BABY I REPEAT

It's absolutely going in Carmen's top five favourite expressions of yours. - 🕊️🕊️🕊️

“Syd said she will be knocking violently if I’m not back at midnight on the dot, yeah.” - SQUID GIVING HER GF A CURFEW

THE BERF SHIRT

“God, it’s over—” - squidink is so over rn😔

“Baby, just say you’re happy for me.” - BABY. THEYRE SO BACK

squid can stab men, a little, as a treat

You hand her your water bottle when you spot her looking at it. - 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

her instinct is to call chip, oh OH oh

“I didn’t ask you to be great.” Syd says it before she thinks it, and it’s enough to make your eyes water - MINE ARE RUNNING TOO ACTUALLY

God you’re dehydrated - *careless whisper plays* i mean what I SAID NOTHING

squid out🦑🦑

“It’s so crazy that you think that’s gonna happen—” - I LOVEEE SHEEE

Your shoulders touch as you both stare at the ceiling. - CUTIES

She hums, pointing to the popcorn tiles - namedrop! jk…unless?

“Oh my fucking God it’s that bad—”- GET THEIR ASSES SQUID

In front of everyone, accidentally while saying goodbye, off-handedly while hanging up, over text, and so on and so forth. - all of those are cute actually

“Now it’s three.” “Fuck, it’s gaining interest?!” - WE’RE SO BACK!!!!

“Wait, what the fuck, Syd, say it back!” - REAL!!

this was so cute!! just them and their adventures

LETS. GET. ROLLLINNGGGG!!!! (papers!!!) (we both can do drug jokes in this house!!!) (there will be a wip under all this as a treat I promise)

I’m honestly shocked Charmin isn’t a canon nickname (yet!!), cause like. IT DOES SOUND LIKE CARMEN!!! AND THE TOILET PAPER BEARS!!! AND THE TOILET PAPER BEARS ARE BLUE NOW TOO!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!

You are frfr an oracle with your memes, occasionally I look at em like hmmmmm,,,, this is gonnna be a lot funnier after the next one. My comedic Nostradamus genius. (the secrets of the universe ARE in the popcorn ceiling!! U!!)

The benefit about writing about food for people who did not come for food is that I also don’t have to fully understand what I’m saying. Had to look at a wagyu chart and make a lot of assumptions. I am not going to make steak with pop rocks to find out if it’s any good.

OKAY WHAT THE FUCK I S RICHIE’S JOB I’M BEING SO FR I DO NOT !!! Carmen’s Exec, Syd’s CDC/Head, Richie is… HR/Co-Manager/Host??? No wonder he can afford fuckin eras tour tickets bro is getting THREE DIFFERENT PAYCHECKS WHAT!!! But this does make sense. Bro IS THEE Human Resource.

Had to look up photos of sheep cats. Yeah that’s him. That’s Carmen but a Cat for sure.

RAHH. The held back I love yous are very. Very rah. Theres a lot of thought behind them for me but I shant share because I feel like that may give too much away I fear?

Carmichael burrowski is brought to you by seeing Carmichael company vans a lot and Mae Burrowski from Night in the Woods. Thank u both for ur service.

I completely forgot about the ‘that’s fucked’ convo with Fak until I saw a gifset and went OH YEAH…. It IS fucked. They are so stupid. They are also both unable to say I love you because that would be WEIRD!!!!!!!

I am so happy with the incredibly funny smooch because it was very much to mimic Carmen’s —

I think funny kisses are the way to go. There is something very charming (CHARMIN!) to me about awkwardly expressed consent.

YOU DIDN’T PUT THE RATATOULLIE MEME IN THIS ONE FOR THE PUBLIC TO ENJOY AND FOR THAT!!! YOU’VE DEPRIVED OUR PEOPLE!! i knew if I was gonna make him watch ratatouille and have him relate, he’d have to relate to more than just remy.

I’ll call them and let them know you love them, promise. Whenever they get out of the bathroom.

Carmen 30-Year Old Virgin Berzatto— Or 28-29, time line is UNCLEAR!! Regardless, I couldn’t take away my man’s one W. He fumbles most people, I had to let him have the one he canonically got. And also it was too fun to consider him absolutely STEWING as Tony recounts her emotional relationship with Mikey, just thinking in the background “I need to tell her I am in fact. NOT . a virgin!” I hate this man.

I WANT YOU IN EVERY SENTENCEEE RRAAAWHWHWHEHE!!! Loved that. Loved writing that paragraph. Love love. Love wanting to have someone so intrinsically in your life that in order for someone to know you they have to know them. WOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Carmen give her a hickey before we have to confront the emotional implications, GET HER BOY!!

Well how much did you bet on syd being there because now I owe you

CHIPS GOT TWO HANDS FOR A REASON BABY!!! I’m kidding the triangle would never work. But they should try anyways.

Whole Richie scene makes me :)) it’s fun to navigate these two going through like, so many internal emotions obviously over Chip’s trauma dump, and deciding what Richie would actually take a moment to comment on. And I think it absolutely has to be the ‘imagine your friends are dead’, bro 100% HAD TO BE HELD BACK FROM RAMMING THE DOOR DOWN TRULY TRULY. Don’t imagine I’m fuckin dead cousin!!!!!! I’m not a fuckin ghost!!! Call me!!!!!!!!! I am literally your guy!!!!!

Watching season 3 and seeing half of the season unnecessarily focusing on a Handyman (Ted) really had me clutching my pearls like. Bro. where’s my baby. Who the fuck does this guy think he is. This is CHIP TURF!!

BIG SHOUT OUT TO SYDNEY ‘THE SQUID’ ‘SEXUALLY NORMAL’ ADAMU!~

Donna!! Donna!! Finally semi-time that I have to face my white whale of writing,,, da mom… I’m still mentally tackling how to write her, but we’ll get there when we get there…. (truly thought she was gonna fucking die this season I didn’t think I was gonna have to DEAL WITH IT!!)

Everyone simultaneously did a record scratch at ‘do you want to come up to my room’ and I think that’s beautiful. I think that’s everything I wanted and more. They can hang bro. and watch ratatouille. Like hang out and be normal and fantasize about easily removable aprons with monogramming done.

Carmen is a certified shoe in his mouth yapper. Sugar, hand the crown to your brother, you may step off your throne; because this fucker has gotten caught like three separate times simply by being himself.

VERY DWIGHT Very like, sibling texting ‘fuck you I hate you what do you want from mcdonalds im omw home’. That’s the Richip dynamic to me. And then they kill carm.

Chip baby!!! This is not a drill he finally called her a pet name!! men, to your stations! And she didn’t even have the brain to COMPUTE IT, alas.

The post squid scene was so tough I was like, ‘do I cut this and just end on carmen?’ but then I knew, I’d never write this scene, cause spoiler alert, we’re doing a very slight time skip. So like. I just wanted Squidink to have their actual last beat to their sad no contact era because!!! So many feelings to be had over not contacting your boy in forever!!! But god its so OVER!

‘Didn’t ask you to be great’ is SUCH a punch to the gut, esp for a people pleaser like Chip (or me, man). Like. Fuckin. GOD. It’s the same sentiment Richie had in Just Dropped with ‘I’d love you even if you weren’t useful’, but like, this side of it is pre-useful. Like. Not only would I love you if you weren’t useful, I would never ASK you to be useful. HELL.

All of those I love yous are cute you say? Well I will have to up my game in coming up with something truly mortifying, then.

Shout out to me, directing on set, and demanding that my crew says it back when I say I love you. Genuinely my ‘Heard’ is a reciprocated ‘I love you’. No one call Richie/HR.

also the memes. immaculate as always. AND THE AUTHOR/CHIP COMPARISON,,, ART IMITATES LIFE, what can i say? if carmen/chip manage to live together at a point i really can't imagine him denying anything she wants. i think he would only have opinions on the kitchen and maybe efficiency of moving through spaces. (WE NEED TO PUSH THE COFFEE TABLE BACK!!! SIDLING AGAINST IT TO GET TO THE COUCH IS CAUSING A 3.4 SECOND DELAY IN MOVIE TIME!!!!) psycho.

Anyways. As always, a pweasure to hear your thoughts. I am hoping next weekend will finally be the fucking weekend I put something out. It’s hard slugging through this next chapter because it’s basically our so much fucking dialogue chapter, and navigating action and meaning AROUND that has been a nightmare. I think I’m probably over thinking the fuck out of it, to be fair. I feel so bad making y’all wait, so here is a juicer snippet.

THANK YOU LOVE YOU APPRECIATE ALL UR PATIENCE AND ALL UR THOUGHTS I LOVE TO HEAR FROM YALL!!

[sayit3x]

Mrs. Bea Juice’s Journal #13

It took years for Paris to recover after the Siege of 1590. Even after the Good King Henry IV signed the Edict of Nantes aiming to end religious wars in 1598, we’d been around long enough (nearly 300 years by then) to know that a fancy piece of paper couldn’t prevent future conflicts. Sure enough, the 30 Years’ War raged from 1618 to 1648. This particular fight, again between the Catholics and the Protestants, took a toll across the continent, including not only France and Spain, but even Sweden. Luckily, Paris wasn’t directly affected in the 30 Years’ War, so Betel wasn’t stuck doing paperwork again for a while. But France came out on top of the heap, becoming the dominant power in Europe. 

During that time, a remarkable thing happened. King Louis XIII died and Louis X1V’s accession to the throne was immediate. The only problem was Louis XIV was merely four years old. Ironically, his father had also become king too young, at the tender age of nine, when Henry IV was assassinated. Sometimes, it’s not good to be the king. 

Regardless, when we heard that Louis XIII was on death’s door with tuberculosis, we snuck into the Louvre, wanting to get a peek at the next child king. The flurry of activity after the former king’s guide whisked him off to the Neitherworld was staggering. People barely had time to grieve before focus shifted completely to preparing for hereditary succession. When Betel saw little Louis XIV, he couldn’t stop laughing at the notion that this cherub-like child, barely able to walk on his own with his eyes blurred by tears, would be the new king of France. I elbowed him in the ribs, reminding him that children under extreme pressure can turn into diamonds and that he should know so from first-hand experience. 

For a moment, I pitied the child, crying for his father while scratching at the uncomfortable formal wear they were shoving him into. The throne was being thrust upon him, whether he liked it or not. But when I looked upon his mother, Anne of Austria, I had no doubts little Louis would become a historic king. The air she commanded was impressive and, sure enough, her strategic political sense would make her a powerful figure for most of Louis XIV’s early reign. Between her will and Cardinal Mazarin’s experience, Louis XIV was well prepared for coronation in 1651. Betel and I might have snuck into that ceremony, too.

This journal dovetails into a fanfiction epic that I'm posting chapter by chapter every week here:

[lorelune]

hey lore !!!!! I'm a big fan of your works <3 they honestly amaze me so much. i especially adore your world building it's just so ?? scrumptious ?! no seriously it's so good like i want to eat it up along with your characterization. i love how you enhance already existing world's as well as create new ones — not just world's but ways things work and intricacies within intricacies.. you provide such a clear idea that makes picturising it all so much easier and interesting

ive never written before other than some blurbs here and there on my notes app but recently hsr brainrot has been Hitting it lately and i've had way too many thoughts 💭 i was planning on maybe writing a fic.. but it requires insane amount of world building (and ik that's definitely not the right thing to start off on, as a new writer/for your first work but then again ig there is no right and wrong way to do it (?) it's more like my brain power might not support me and i’ll abandon it half way or something 🥲 haha) anyway i was wondering if you have any tips on how to worldbuild or build further on the existing ideas of certain organisations and all that sort.. there's just so many ideas haywiring and i would really love some advice if you don't mind. but no pressure !! sorry if this was too long,,

omg hello anon!! not too long at ALL hehe i'm gonna answer this below the cut hehe

first off THANK YOU 🥺!!! i appreciate your kind words so much <3 i really enjoy worldbuilding in my own writing and i'm very glad the ideas i bungle up translate well when actually in a story :'^) in my own little brainworld where i daydream, i tend to add details and layers to the original story that i do like... question if i can execute. so it is always nice to hear that they do in fact make it through 😭💓

as for advice!!

anon. so transparently. so REAL-y. if you have the brainworms for a story, even if its big and complicated and a lot to chew on it, just start!!! it is so intimidating truly but there is no better writing fuel than the muse of a story that has captured you. and!! if it does not end up finished, that is totally okay!! i have personally learned some of most valuable lessons writing while working on large pieces that ultimately ended up unfinished.

for more material advice:

when working on fic, i keep a lot of notes in a personal discord server. i have a wip channel and threads for certain fic ideas where i compile plot details, world details, fanart and inspo photos. it's super helpful!!!

one thing that helps me when i have big grand worlds in my head and i need to get them down and written is, instead of choosing to take a bite out of the whole world itself, i try to choose just a snippet or event and build around that. for example, in cicatrix, you get LOTS of lore abt calibrators and their relationship to the luofu, but plenty of what i had spinning around in my noggin didn't make it down. it wasn't relevant to the immediate story, event, or conflict, so it stayed unspoken. however, i think having really rich background going INTO writing these snippets of a larger universe helps fill things out and seem more like... lived in.

i will say. so indispensable. BETA READERS. the first few drafts of cicatrix where so ROUGH when it came to world building. i had the whole lore of calibrators and the luofu in my head, but getting it down clearly and in a way that made enough sense to an unknowing audience took a few read throughs and feedback by some lovely friends of mine. i highly recommend tracking down someone to read over your pieces and provide feedback on the things you're worried about!!!

and like... perhaps a little corny. but. believe in yourself. we are our own greatest critics, and the best attitude to cultivate toward the craft is that you can... do it. you just can. innately anon, regardless of experience, you can create the story and world you want to. bolstering a sense of confidence goes FAR esp if you end up writing a longer piece!!!

anon i got quite rambly asldkf. i hope this is in some way helpful!!! if you have any other questions, i am happy to answer!! i truly think writing immersive worlds is SO fun and engaging, and sometimes you just gotta. throw your hat in the ring. start the run and see where it takes you. i wish you such like and good tidings anon <3

[noodleblade]

Miscellaneous Tag Game (stolen title <3)

thank you bestie:3 @searchingfortheuniverse I'll be working on this while im on and off phone calls~

A band you don’t like that many others do: UM idk...my music taste is all over the place and I really only know the bands i think?? oh- maybe Mother Mother, only because I have not bothered to listen to their music past Junkrat hype videos and that's probably tainted my view a little. For better or for worse.

A childhood memory that you remember vividly: during a summer in greece, idk how, but I got roped into selling watermelons off the side of the road. I couldn't have been more than 6 or 7, but I remember I would put the watermelon in a plastic bag and the farmers thought it was really funny because that's such a...united states thing...to bag 1 whole watermelon in plastic. Anyways, they paid me in cucumber slices with salt.

Least favorite animal and why: HUH LEAST. I'm not a huge fan of like reptiles? Specifically those smaller than a bread box. Too fast, too squirm. Im worried I'll crush them in my hands. (im thinking of specifically florida geckos...idk they are cute but i freak out trying to hold them).

Hot fandom take: just because something is popular and fandom-wide accepted doesn't mean it is good. and not agreeing with it/wanting to engage in it doesn't mean you or your own opinions are bad. the monopoly on accepted 1 true canon is boring.

Do you wear any jewelry, if so, what’s your favorite piece: I try an rotate my jewelry around but I'm usually wearing a few rings, a necklace and a pair of earrings. My favorites are the rings. They are my mom's old ones and I typically wear the same two every day. One is a gold key of greece and the other is a thin black bar but the sides have really small thin heart cut outs.

A movie others liked but you didn’t: HMMMMM probably the new star wars trilogy. felt unnecessary and i just didn't like it? big shruggies

Three things you love about yourself: my writing- its something that I enjoy the most in the world and something that I can claim as mine. I also think I'm pretty funny in a sillay way which is poggers. I like my openness to trying things. Think that's helped make me more well-rounded. I hope so at least.

A place you hope to visit in the future and why: HMMMMM. I want to visit Japan again. For a new place, I want to go to South America. Peru maybe??? Mexico would also be nice. So that's what I'm gearing up towards next.

An actor that gets on your nerves and why: Uh Matt Smith? No reason behind this. but I see his block head and kind of just look away.

Things you’re excited for in the nearby future? I have a lot of little house projects I finally feel like tackling which is exciting. Ive lived in my house for almost 2.5 years and still havent felt like parts of it are complete yet.

Least favorite ship in a fandom you’re in: oof I lowkey kind of hate saying things I don't like on here. bad experiences in the past when people were upset I didn't like a thing they did and got mad at me. But uhhh not the biggest fan of most rodimus ships? but I think mega/rod is my least favorite of them. sorry!

What’s the most toxic fandom you’ve been in? hahaahahahhahahah can you believe Game of Thrones wasn't the most toxic???? it was jjba. I got put on a ban list which was kind of funny. I also got kind of show-ponyed in a toxic discord server for a while which has completely ruined me in the ability to act normal on discord outside of my irl friends. that account is deleted but the ao3 is still circling around.

List three things you find beautiful about life: Friends and family- sometimes I want to kill but I really do love them so so much. I like creating things and creating things with people. I also really like my area as far as nature goes. the beach to swamp ratio sings to me.

Any dreams for the future? I want to go on a really long hike. Maybe like a 2 day one? (< says the person that has gone on a max 2 hour hike before). Also just working on my original fiction again. I miss those fellas.

How are you really feeling today? Motivated!!!! Im a little groggy still, but I've been really excited about life and betterment lately so its overcoming my sleepy brain.

Tags: feel free to do or not: @honkytonka, @elmonstro, @huanted-dennys, @feral-birb-husband, @solarstormstuff @anyone else who wants to!! I'd be happy to read them:3

[ciaossu-imagines]

Im... Sorry for asking but... Ive had a rough time lately (dad in hospital, posting drama, fanfic troubles,etc.)

And i just wanted to ask if you could do how eric (K-Project) and Hayato (KHR) would try to comfort or cheer up a frind/significant other that is having a really hard time that they can not do anything about.

Please don't be sorry for asking! I'm so, so sorry to hear you've been having a tough time lately and if I can help at all with these headcanons, I consider it a privilege to be able to do so. I hope things get better for you soon!

Eric

Okay, but while I can definitely see Eric not being at all happy about you being stressed out, I don't think he'd get as worked up about it as say, Hayato. Eric's a little bit more accepting of the fact that there are things out there that he just can't fix. He has a little bit of an easier job accepting his limitations, especially since he was so often forced to face the limits of what he could do and what he could control growing up, and that helps him in this situation.

Plain out and out, Eric logically realizes that he can do jack shit about all your troubles. None of them are things he can fix with violence, which is his usual go-to to fix issues. He can't just stab someone and make you happy…come to think of it, he doesn't recall there ever being a time, with you, where he could just stab someone and solve any of your issues and make you happy, so he really should stop defaulting to that solution. Is he actually going to stop making that his go-to, though? No.

I do think Eric does sort of associate gift-giving and doing stuff for people with helping though. That's what makes people happy, right? It's just how his mind works, so I can see him buying you gifts, hoping to put a smile on your face. He stops and gets your favourite take out or snack every time he's out and about. Like, by the end of day two or three of being sad, you are almost drowning in gifts and food because it's all Eric can think of to make you smile.

He'll count each smile he gets out of you as a victory but honestly, the longer you remain stressed, the more on edge he gets and the more he beats himself up, in his head only though, trying his best not to let you realize it, that he can't fix the issues.

He's very likely, when it comes to the fanfic issues and the posting drama, to really not take those as seriously. He'll plain out tell you to fuck other people and their opinions, that other people can fuck off, that fics can wait or bad reviews are bullshit. Eric is very much of the opinion that you rock, you're amazing, and anyone who pisses you off or makes you upset or sad for even a second - they're pieces of shit to him and not even worth the time you're allowing them in your head and he's going to clearly communicate that to you, probably in the crassest possible language he can.

It's going to be your father that gets to Eric the most. He's going to think of that as the biggest issue and though he can't solve it, he's definitely encouraging you to spend as much time with your father as you possibly can. Eric knows he'll never get another second with his parents in this lifetime again, and he knows how hard that knowledge and reality is. He's always asking if you want him to take you over to the hospital, to go visit your father with you, to wait for you while you do.

In the end, Eric's just going to do his best and while he knows he can't fix it for you, he's just content to make you smile or give you a positive experience through the day.

Gokudera

Now, as hinted at during the start of Eric's headcanons, this isn't a situation that Gokudera handles really well. Gokudera is, by his very nature, a 'fixer'. He sees people he loves and cares about facing problems or tough situations and every instinct he has is centered around getting rid of those situations or fixing those problems for them. It's not only just his base nature but a lot more complicated - helping and fixing things for people is a huge part of how he shows his love and care to people, because he's not good at verbally or physically expressing it, but it's also part of what helps Gokudera feel needed, wanted, valuable, and of use to those he cares about and that being needed and of use is essential to his mental wellness, even though it is a very mentally unhealthy way to view things.

Unfortunately, every single thing troubling you cannot just be easily fixed. Some of them can't be fixed at all, like your father's health. Gokudera could show up at the hospital, threaten the doctor's and nurse's into ensuring your father got only the best of care (and definitely wanted to and might have done so) but it doesn't fix your father's actual health problems or take those away. Despite being brilliant, Gokudera isn't a doctor and can't miraculously heal your father. He can't control what people say on the internet, he can't control if there's issues with your fic or if you experience writer's block. And all of that makes him so incredibly pissed off because it makes him feel like he's failing you, like he's worthless.

And as much as I would like to say that Gokudera handles that amazingly, that he knows how he's feeling is on him, that those are his own issues to struggle with and not something you had any part of, that he doesn't even remotely take it out on you, I think pretty strongly that I would be lying by doing so.

Gokudera struggles with his emotions. He feels things really deeply and intensely and he can't always communicate or even understand his own emotions and I do think the emotional stress that comes with that not being able to fix it all for you might sometimes come out in him being snippy or impatient with you. He doesn't mean to be. He doesn't want to be. It's just that sometimes he can't stop himself from doing it because he is feeling everything so intensely and struggles to regulate that rather awful and much too quick temper of his.

He knows he can't do anything about your father and the situation there is so serious that he might actually try to avoid it a little. Unless you bring it up, he doesn't mention it but he will listen to you whenever you need to talk about it. He makes sure flowers and whatever else will bring comfort to your father are brought to his hospital room regularly, and he would go visit your father with you if he knew it would comfort you.

But overall, I do think it's the smaller things he allows his mind to focus on. Where they are issues related to hobbies you have, he might actually pressure you to maybe take a break from, or even give up, those hobbies. He reminds you that hobbies are supposed to make you happy, not stress you out, and if things are making you upset, you can just stop doing them or putting any of your time towards them. It's probably where most of his grumpiness and snippiness would come from, if you didn't do so because you know, in the long run, even with the stressful moments, these are things you love, because Gokudera would see that as you ignoring the best advice he could give you.