#little bit of “that shit hurted” situation

[jpmarvel90]

Dont Belong Part 3

Masterlist Natasha Masterlist

Part 1 Part 2

Word Count: 7175

Relationship: Mother WandaNat x Daugher Reader

Summary: Y/n's infection is hitting her hard and she's still struggling with her feelings on her parents. Thankfully, Yelena is there to help cheer her up and she brings along a surprise that might just make everything feel better!

Nat: Mama Wanda: Mom

Y/n POV:

These last two days in the hospital have blurred together, a monotonous cycle of dull light and beeping machines. The weight of my infection drags on me, leaving me shivering one moment and sweating the next. I've spent far too much time staring at the ceiling, feeling trapped in this sterile room, yearning for the freedom of my life before the mission went sideways. The boredom is suffocating, and I feel like I'm losing pieces of myself with every passing hour.

I feel a constant gaze from my parents who rarely leave my side. It's strange to go from having them ignore you to being around all the time. Part of me feels like things were like they used to be when I was a full part of their family. The other part of me is screaming saying they don't mean it and will soon be gone again.

But today feels different, a whisper of hope fluttering in the air. I've been waiting for this moment, and when a familiar knock sounds at the door, my heart races with anticipation. "Can I come in?" Yelena's voice calls softly, and I can't suppress the grin that spreads across my face at the sound of her.

"Of course!" I call back, the eagerness spilling over in my tone. I sit up a little straighter, my heart pounding as I manage to prop myself up, using the button on the side of the bed to elevate myself.

The door swings open, and Yelena steps in, her expression a mix of relief and worry. Her golden hair catches the light, and I can see the telltale signs of sleepless nights etched under her eyes. "Y/n!" she breathes, rushing to my side, her voice trembling slightly as she takes my hand.

"Yelena! I'm so glad to see you." The words come out a little breathless, and I can't help the surge of emotion that washes over me. Just seeing her makes the room feel a little less confining, a little brighter.

"I can't believe you're awake," she says, her grip tightening around my fingers. "I was so scared. We all were. You had everyone worried sick." Her eyes shimmer with unshed tears, and for a moment, it feels like the weight of my situation lifts just a bit. I don't think I've ever seen Yelena emotional like this before and it helps me realise how bad this whole situation is. She would never allow anyone to see her this vulnerable except for Mama.

"Hey, I'm okay. Well, sort of." I gesture weakly to the IV drip, the hospital bed, and the machines that surround me. "Just a little out of commission at the moment."

Yelena's smile is tentative but bright, yet it's overshadowed by the concern etched on her face. "I just hate seeing you hurt like this. You're my niece and I thought I would always be here to protect you." She shares honestly.

I give her hand a squeeze and share a warm smile when she finally looks up to me. "I can't be protected forever. Besides, I need you now. This recovery is going to be shit and I need you to help me when it gets too much." I reassure her and she nods. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm here to help you through it all. Stark has even set me up on the same floor as you. So, I'll be there whenever you need me." She explains, making my heart warm with the thought of seeing her for a while to come.

"What about the widows?" I ask, knowing how much that means to her. "I've already been able to help so many. Now I need to help you. The others can wait. Besides, Kate can do the research on where we need to go next." She replies. "Who's Kate?" I ask, surprised to hear that she is working with someone else.

"Just a stray that Clint found. She's annoying, but oddly fun to be around. I think you'd like her. I'm sure she'll be around at some point to say hi." She explains with a shrug.

As the initial shock of seeing me seems to fade, I can see the corners of Yelena's mouth twitching upward, her eyes sparkling with mischief. It's as if she's flipping a switch, her demeanour transforming from worried auntie to the playful, teasing friend I know and love.

"You know," she starts, leaning back slightly and crossing her arms, "for someone who just woke up from a dramatic hospital nap, you look surprisingly like a zombie. I mean, I thought they had strict rules against bringing the undead into the hospital."

I let out a soft laugh, despite the ache in my chest. "Yeah, well, the food here isn't exactly helping my cause. I'm pretty sure I could survive off of those tasteless mushy meals for a week and still look better than this."

Yelena raises an eyebrow, clearly entertained. "Mushy meals? I'd expect you to be on some gourmet diet, considering all the special treatments they give you. I'm starting to think you should at least get some ice cream as a post-surgery reward." She chuckles. "Now that's the kind of thinking I can get behind. Have a word with Tony yeah?" I reply, feeling my spirits lift. "Ice cream sounds amazing. But what are the odds of that happening here?"

"Zero. But I'm prepared for this. I'll break you out of this place and take you for ice cream. You just need to give me the signal, and I'll burst in through the window like a stealthy ninja." She mimics a dramatic leap and landing in mama's pose. "See, I'll even do my best poser impersonation!" She playfully teases and she now starts to pretend to scale the invisible walls of my hospital room, her expression shifting to one of exaggerated seriousness. "You can count on me, Y/n. Ice cream shall be yours!"

I chuckle, the image of Yelena performing an acrobatic escape making the heaviness of the past days lift a little more. "What flavour are we talking here? I hope it's not vanilla. I have standards, you know."

"Vanilla? Please! I was thinking more along the lines of double chocolate fudge with extra sprinkles. And maybe a side of cherry sauce because why not go big, right?" She shares her thoughts whilst taking the seat next to me again. Her hand resting over mine. "Now you're speaking my language," I respond, shaking my head in mock seriousness. "If I'm risking a hospital breakout, it better be worth it." I laugh.

Yelena sits back in her seat, her chest still rising and falling as she laughs at her own hilariousness. She then looks back up at me. "But seriously, let's plan this for when you're feeling better. I'm not above a hospital escape." Her grin is contagious, and I can feel the tension in my shoulders easing. "Deal. Just don't forget the sprinkles."

As our laughter fills the room, I realize how much I've missed this lightness, this camaraderie. It's comforting to think about having Yelena by my side as I navigate the uncertainty of recovery and family dynamics.

But beneath the playful banter, there's an unspoken understanding between us, a bond that allows me to express my fears without words. With Yelena around, I feel like I can face whatever comes next, armed with humour and the knowledge that I'm not alone in this fight.

"Just promise me one thing," I say, my voice turning more serious again. "Anything," she replies, her gaze earnest. "Don't let me give up on the ice cream party, okay? No matter what happens."

"Never! I'll be your ice cream guardian," she declares, puffing out her chest with mock pride. "We will have that party, and it will be legendary. I will personally ensure that you have the sprinkles of life!"

With that promise hanging in the air, I know I can count on her not just for ice cream but for so much more as I navigate this complicated recovery. Even amidst the challenges, I feel a renewed sense of strength.

Though the playful atmosphere soon disappears as Yelena looks at me with a hurt look. "You know," Yelena begins cautiously, glancing around the room as if making sure no one else can hear, "I've been really worried about you. Seeing you like this. It's been hard. I didn't expect to walk in and see my Y/n looking so weak."

"Yeah, well, welcome to the aftermath of a bullet wound," I respond, a hint of sarcasm lacing my tone, but her expression remains sombre. "I mean it, Y/n," she says, her voice low. "I can handle all sorts of dangerous missions, but this... this was different. You're my niece. I've seen too many people get hurt, and it scares me to think about what could have happened if things went even more wrong."

"I know. I didn't want to worry you, but... it's not like I planned to get shot," I reply, my voice softening. "I was trying to do my best, and it went sideways."

"It's not your fault," Yelena reassures me, squeezing my hand gently. "But promise me you'll be careful. Don't rush back into missions. I can't go through this again. I thought I lost you."

"I'm not going anywhere yet. You've got me for a while longer," I say with a playful lilt, trying to lighten the atmosphere. Her smile falters, but she doesn't let go of my hand. "You have to promise me you won't get hurt again. I mean it. You don't have to be the hero all the time, you know." The gravity of her words sinks in, and I can feel a lump forming in my throat. "I thought I was doing well. I thought it was my chance to prove myself," I admit, my voice quieter now. "Prove yourself? You don't need to do that. You're already a part of this family," she insists, her voice firm but gentle.

But I can't shake the feeling of inadequacy, the bitter sting of doubt that lingers in the corners of my mind. "I don't feel like it," I confess, looking down at our hands intertwined. "Not after everything that's happened. My parents... I don't know. It's complicated." I begin tentatively, not sure how to express the turmoil inside me.

"They've hurt me for so long, and I'm still trying to wrap my head around why they suddenly seem to care. It feels like. I don't know, like they're trying to make up for lost time. They've been... around. Too around, if you know what I mean. They've been acting all concerned, but it feels more like an obligation."

I've felt torn about this since I've woke up. They're around all the time and trying to do everything that can to help me. But all I can think about is how much they have hurt me and if they would ever be able to make up for their past actions.

Yelena nods, her expression serious. "It's okay to be conflicted. They've done wrong by you, and you have every right to be angry. But if they're genuinely trying to change, maybe there's a chance for you to heal too." She suggests, similar to how Steve has these last two days.

"I don't want to forgive them just because they're here now. It feels disingenuous," I admit, frustration seeping into my voice. "I've been raised to believe that actions speak louder than words, and I need to see real change." I state irritated. "Then hold them to that standard," she urges, her voice steady. "Don't let them slide by just because they're your parents. You deserve more than that." She iterates.

"I guess I'm just afraid of being disappointed again," I whisper, feeling a shiver of vulnerability wash over me. It hurt so much when I slowly seemed to disappear from their lives. I don't think I could experience that again. "What if they go back to ignoring me once I'm healed? What's the point of this?" I share, tears stinging my eyes.

Yelena leans closer, her brow furrowing as she studies my face. "That's not fair to you. They hurt you, and it's okay to be angry about that. But you deserve to feel loved and cared for. You're so much stronger than you give yourself credit for." "Stronger?" I scoff lightly, but inside I feel a flicker of hope. "I barely survived my first mission and ended up in a hospital bed. That doesn't feel strong."

"Strength isn't just about fighting, Y/n. It's about surviving, too. You survived, and you're still here. You're still fighting." Her voice softens, and I can see her eyes glistening with tears. I nod slowly, her words resonating with me. "You're right. I just don't want to get hurt like that again. I thought joining SHIELD would mean I'd finally be seen, but now... it feels like a mess."

Yelena shakes her head, frustration evident in her expression. "No. You're not a mess. You're human. They need to step up and show you that you matter, but that doesn't mean you have to accept their love without question. You get to set the boundaries. You get to decide what you want from them moving forward. But I do believe that you have to give them a chance to show you that they've changed." She shares, taking me by surprise.

"It was years Yelena. How can I move to just forgive them for everything that's happened? Just because they're here for my recovery, doesn't mean it makes up for everything that they've done." I raise my voice getting frustrated that no one seems to understand the depth of how much this has affected me.

She thinks for a moment before speaking up. "I know I can't understand the pain they caused you. When I heard about what they did to you, I was ready to kick both of their asses. But I've seen this determination in them. Especially Nat. I just don't want you to let the anger eat you alive. You deserve more than that. You deserve to heal, not just physically, but emotionally, too." Her words resonate deep within me. I can feel the weight of my resentment pressing against my chest, threatening to suffocate me. "It's just hard, Yelena. I don't know if I can trust them again. What if they just go back to how things were?"

"That's the risk, but it's also a chance for something better. Maybe this could be the start of a new chapter for you all," she replies, her voice filled with hope. "I mean, how many people get a second chance to rewrite their story? You can make it count." She tries to reason with me. "Or I could just end up disappointed again," I say, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Hey, no one said life was easy," she counters, leaning forward, her tone shifting to a playful challenge. "You've faced worse. You survived a bullet wound, for Christ's sake! How about you take that strength and channel it into something more positive? Like confronting your parents." She suggests. "Confront them?" I echo, feeling a knot of anxiety tighten in my stomach.

"Yeah! You're a badass. You fought off those Hydra agents; you can fight for your own happiness." she encourages. "Don't let anyone else dictate your worth. Not your parents, not Hydra. No one."

"I'll think about it," I concede, knowing that deep down, she's right. Maybe facing my parents isn't just about them; it's about taking control of my own narrative, my own healing. "Good," Yelena replies, her smile brightening the room once more. "And remember, no matter what you decide, I'll be right here, cheering you on. We're in this together, ice cream and all."

As I gaze into her determined eyes, I feel the flicker of hope igniting within me. Yelena is right. I can't let the past dictate my future. Perhaps I can find a way to reclaim my voice, my choices. And with her by my side, I feel like I can face whatever comes next.

__________

The soft hum of the machines is a constant companion, a backdrop to the quiet conversation happening in the room. Mama and mom sit nearby, each offering their own version of silent support. Mama, with her usual calm demeanour, sits crossed legged in the chair near the foot of my bed. Her posture is relaxed, but her sharp eyes betray her constant vigilance. She notices everything, always has, and I can feel her observing me like she's looking for something beneath the surface. Mom on the other hand, has stationed herself at my side, like aways. She's less fussy, thankfully, but still has to be close, like I'm going to disappear if she's not.

Sometimes, I find the silence unbearable compared to their constant and sometimes suffocating fussing over me. I feel on edge, like they're waiting for me to talk to them. I think back to what Yelena said about confronting them and doing it on my terms. But I want to do it in the right frame of mind, and at the moment, this infection is still kicking my ass.

Mama breaks the silence as her well trained eyes watch me for a while. "How are you feeling Y/n?" She asks, her eyes narrowing slightly as she studies me, as though she's trying to catch me out if I say the wrong thing. "A bit better." I respond with a slight nod, my words carefully measured. I don't want to give too much away. Not about how I'm feeling and especially not about the swirl of doubt that's been growing inside of me since the incident.

"Are you sure? You're sweating." She points out, sitting up. Mom goes to reach for my forehead, but quickly retreats her hand. She's been trying really hard not to be too much and I'm grateful for that. I should have known that she could see straight through me and notice the discomfort I'm in. "Just a little." I admit. "Is there anything we can do? Would you like some water? Or we could change the quilt for a blanket if that would help?" Mom suggests.

I think for a moment before giving in, knowing that I am burning up a little too quickly. "The blanket would be better if that's ok." I respond, earning a warm smile from mom as she stands and moves to grab the blanket as mama takes the quilt and folds it up. "Better?" Mom asks as the thin blanket now rests over my legs. "Yes. Thank you." I quietly respond.

"You're being strong, but you don't have to be." Mom says, her voice soft but persuasive. Her green eyes watching me too closely. "We're here for you." She states. Something I've heard more these last few days than I have in my whole like.

I offer a tight smile. "I appreciate that." I reply, but there's something hollow in my words, something they both notice. I see it in the flicker of mama's eyes, in the slight frown mom tries to hide. They want me to let them in, to trust them. But I can't. No right now.

The knock on the door interrupts the thick atmosphere. As we all look to the door, a smile grows on my face as Yelena pushes open the door, bursting in to the room with her usual energy. Her blonde hair bounces around her shoulders as she strides in, a smirk on her lips. She's a welcome distraction from the unspoken suspicions swirling in my mind.

Behind her, there's someone new. A brunette with wide eyes and a slightly awkward smile follows in her wake, holding a small bouquet of flowers in her hands. It's clear she doesn't quite know what to do with them as she shifts nervously, standing next to Yelena like she's trying to figure out how to fit in. "This is Kate." Yelena says with a grin, motioning to the brunette with a flourish. "Oh, right. The annoying stray Clint picked up." I reply with a grin, my eyes flicking between Yelena and the new girl. I feel a small flutter of nerves in my chest, but I push it aside, trying to appear casual.

Kate gasps dramatically, placing her hand over her chest as if wounded. "Annoying stray? Really? Is that how Yelena described me?" She shoots Yelena a mocking glare, then turns to me with a playful twinkle in her eyes. "Don't listen to her. I'm delightful, I promise." She smirks.

There is something instantly disarming about her. Her smile is infectious, and I find myself grinning back before I can stop myself. "I'll be the judge of that." I say, raising an eyebrow in challenge. Kate's laugh is light. "Well, I guess I better make a good impression then huh. I'm Kate. Nice to finally meet you."

As if she suddenly becomes aware of the other two people in the room, Kate suddenly becomes a lot more nervous as she steps forward, holding out the flowers a little awkwardly. "I, uh, thought some flowers might brighten up the place." She says her voice light but tinged with nervousness. "If you don't like them, I can... I don't know, take them back or something."

I can't help but smile at the sudden awkwardness, feeling some of the tension ease from my shoulders. There's something captivating about her, a clumsy sincerity that feels genuine. Like she's not trying to be anything other than who she is. If's refreshing, in contrast to the more guarded and calculated vibes in the room.

"No, no. They're nice. I love them." I say, accepting the flowers with a smile. "Thank you." I say gratefully. Mom steps in to help, taking the flowers from Kate and placing them on the beside table. She flashes Kate a smile, but I can't help but notice the way her eyes flick between me and Kate, like she's sizing up the interaction. Her protective nature is sweet, but right now it feels like an intrusion, like she's watching too closely.

Yelena of course, can't let the moment go without making it awkward. "Oh great. The two of you are already making goo-goo eyes at each other." She says with a snort, dropping herself into a chair next to mama with a dramatic sigh. "I should have seen this coming." She says to her sister. "Goo-goo eyes?" I sputter, my cheeks burning. "Yelena, we literally just met." Kate for her part, looks just as flustered, running a hand through her hair as she laughs awkwardly. "Yeah wow, not even five minutes in and I'm already being roasted. Thanks Yelena." Yelena has a mischievous grin as she gives Kate a thumbs up. "Hey, I call it like I see it." She shrugs.

I glance at Kate again, and despite the teasing, there's something about her that puts me at ease. Something feels unguarded in a way that I haven't felt around my parents lately. She seems real, no hidden motives, no unreadable layers. Just Kate, awkward and charming in her own way.

Mama raises an eyebrow at Yelena's comment but stays quiet, observing as always. Mom though let's out a soft chuckle, her eyes softening for a moment as she looks between Kate and me. "I think it's sweet." She says, but there's an undercurrent to her words. A subtle probing as if she's gauging how close I'm willing to let this new person get.

I shift uncomfortably in my bed, trying to shake off the unease. "Kate seems nice." I say, trying to keep things light. "But you don't need to start planning a wedding already." I joke, earning a loud laugh from Kate.

Yelena leans back in her chair, a satisfied smirk on her face. "Well, you're already doing better than most people who meet Y/n. She doesn't usually warm up to strangers this fast."

"Yelena." I mutter, shooting her a look, but the playful banter is enough to make me feel a bit more like myself again. Even if the tension with my parents still lingers beneath the surface.

Mama exchanges a glance with mom, and I can feel the weight of their unspoken thoughts. They're both protective, maybe even a little suspicious of the new dynamic. I know they're trying to look out for me, but their watchful eyes feel too heavy right now and to be honest, they don't have the right to have any thoughts on this right now. They've barely been my parents for the last couple of years. They don't suddenly have a say in who I'm friends with.

"Well, at least you brought someone who isn't here to lecture me about being shot." I tease, giving Yelena a pointed look. Kate grins clearly relieved the conversation has shifted. "I'm just here for the heist planning." She smiles, her tone light. "Whatever Yelena has you roped into, I'm in." I join in the joke. Yelena perks up at that. "Oh, you have no idea what you've signed up for Bishop. This one here," she jerks her thumb at me, "has a history with getting into trouble."

Kate moves to take the seat next to me as both my parents decide to give us some space and grab some lunch. I'm grateful for them being able to read the room, but I notice the observant and narrow gaze of mama as she passes by Kate. I'm pretty sure I see Kate gulp a little which makes me laugh lightly.

"So," Kate asks, crossing her arms. "what's the plan for today? Ice cream, hospital jailbreak or maybe both?" She smiles, making the butterflies in my stomach flutter. "Oh, Yelena's already promised me ice cream, but she keeps postponing the jailbreak." I tease, glancing over at Yelena who's pretending not to listen.

Kate lets out a dramatic sigh, shaking her head. "Typical. She makes all these grand promises, and then when it comes time to actually execute..." Kate starts teasingly before Yelena speaks up. "I'm literally right here." She complains, throwing her hands up in mock exasperation. "And for the record. I would have busted you out, but your mother threatened to remove all the mac and cheese from the building if I did." She admits with a child like huff.

"Still scared of mama huh?" I smirk, earning a harsh stare from my aunt. "No!" She defends loudly. "Well, maybe when it comes down to you." She admits quietly, making Kate and I laugh. "Well, well. I've finally discovered the one thing Yelena Belova is scared of." Kate torments Yelena. "Yeah, well don't forget that you're the one scared of me." Yelena points out giving her fiercest glare. Something that makes Kate shrink back into her seat. "Yep. You're right. Sorry." She apologises goofily, making me smile even wider.

There's a beat of silence, but it's not awkward. It's easy, comfortable, and I'm surprised at how quickly I've warmed up to Kate. She's sharp, funny and there's a confidence about her that makes me feel more at ease. I can tell she's someone who doesn't take life too seriously, but there's a genuine warmth underneath the sarcasm.

Yelena is watching us again, her arms crossed, and her eyebrow arched like she's trying to figure out how this is going to play out. "You know, I might actually enjoy watching this." She says, her voice laced with amusement. "You two are way too cute. It's like watching a rom-com in real time." She smirks

"Okay, enough of that." I say quickly, feeling my face begin to flush, this time not due to my infection! I glance to Kate who is grinning like she's in on some joke that I'm not, and I can't help but laugh. "Yelena, don't you have some Widow business to attend to?" I question hopefully. "Nope." She says cheerfully, popping the 'p' for emphasis. "I'm on babysitting duty today." She smiles proudly whilst I just roll my eyes. Maybe I do want my parents back right now!

Kate leans closer to me, lowering her voice conspiratorially. "Does she always talk like that, or is it just for us?" She questions. "Always." I whisper back, earning a glare from Yelena. "Alright, alright." Yelena says, pretending to be offended, but her eyes twinkle with amusement. "I can see when I'm not wanted. I'll give you two some space. Try not to flirt too much while I'm gone." She teases.

"And you," she stops in front of Kate, a stern look on her face. "If she so much as flinches you call the nurse. I will have your head if anything happens to her." She warns her lowly. Kate just nods, gulping at the threat. "P-promise." She stutters. "Good. Text me if you need anything. Now have fun being all awkward and flirty." She smirks as she saunters out of the room.

Suddenly, it's just the two of us, the room quieter but still filled with that easy, playful energy. I glance over at Kate, feeling a bit of awkwardness settle in. But it's the good kind that makes my heart race a little.

"So, what now?" I ask, trying to sound casual? Kate shrugs, a teasing smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "I don't know. I mean, we could plot that jailbreak. Or maybe..." She pauses, her eyes meeting mine. "We could just hang out and get to know each other a little better." She suggests.

There's a warmth in her gaze, something that makes my heart flutter, and for the first time in a while, I feel a sense of excitement. Not just for the ice cream or the jokes, but the possibility of something new. Something good. And maybe, just maybe, I'm ready for it.

Nat's POV:

My sharp eyes have always picked up on the subtle shift in a person's demeanour, the tiniest details that others overlook. Right now, I'm studying Kate Bishop. She's awkward sure. A little too wide-eyed and jittery, holding onto those flowers like she's afraid they might combust. There's a clumsy sincerity to her that I can't decide if I trust yet. Y/n though... Y/n is smiling. Laughing even, and I haven't seen that kind of lightness in her face in far too long. Still, I remain cautious.

I watch as Y/n teases Kate, the easy flow of their banter rolling off Y/n's tongue without the weight that usually accompanies her words. It's almost as if she's forgotten, if only for a few minutes, about the turmoil she's been going through. And while I want that for her, there's a part of me that can't let go of my protective instincts. That part that wants to dig deeper into who Kate Bishop really is, figure out if she's worthy of my daughter's trust.

Because Y/n doesn't let people in easily. Wanda and I have made that even harder for her now. To be able to trust is a difficult thing. I don't want to see her hurt more than she currently is. Not after everything that I've caused.

Wanda's voice pulls me out of my thoughts as she steps up beside me, her arms crossed but her expression soft, watching the interaction with a gentler gaze than I have. "She looks happy." Wanda murmurs. Her voice has that quiet thoughtful tone that always means she's been observing the situation for longer than I realised.

I nod, though I don't take my eyes off of Y/n. "She does." I admit reluctantly. Wanda notices this and quickly makes up an excuse of going to get some lunch and we quickly exit the room. Probably much to Y/n's delight!

"You don't like it?" Wanda asks, her lips twitching into a small smile. She can read me too easily, knows exactly what I'm feeling even when I try to keep it to myself. We hover in the corridor outside of Y/n's room as I sigh. "I didn't say that." I glance towards my wife, raising an eyebrow.

"No, but I know you." She chuckles softly, and it's a warm, comforting sound that cuts through the tension I've been holding in my chest. "Nat, you don't trust her yet." It's not a question, and I don't answer right away. Instead, I look back through the window into Y/n's room. My eyes falling to the pair of them. Y/n has leaned a little closer to Kate, her laughter soft, her smile genuine. Kate's making some grand gesture with her hands, her enthusiasm endearing in its awkwardness. Okay, I think. Maybe she's not so bad.

But still. "I just don't know her." I say finally, my voice low. Wanda hums in understanding, her gaze never leaving Y/n. "But look at her, Nat. She's the happiest we've seen her in a long while." She points out. I know she's right. Y/n hasn't had this kind of lightness in her eyes since the incident. Even in the days leading up to it, she was closed off, burdened by the trauma we had caused her. I couldn't do anything to help her, I couldn't fix what I had broken. And now here comes this Kate Bishop, breezing in like a ray of sunshine, making Y/n smile like it's the easiest thing in the world.

I sigh, crossing my arms tighter over my chest. "Maybe." I admit after a pause, my voice quieter now, more reflective. "Maybe Kate is what Y/n needs right now." Wanda turns her head to look at me fully, a surprised look on her face, but she soon gives me a soft knowing smile. "That's not easy for you to say."

"No, it's not." I say honestly. "But I can't ignore how she's acting. It's good to see her like this." I glance to Yelena who's still grinning like a proud instigator of all this chaos. Y/n has her laughing too, which is aways a good sign. "And Kate, she's not what I expected." I share.

There's an awkward clumsiness about the girl sure. But underneath that, there's a kindness in her eyes, something genuine that makes me reconsider my initial assessment. She's not just some reckless kid, despite the reputation. She cares and that means something.

Wanda places a gentle hand on my arm, squeezing lightly. "It's ok to let your guard down a little." I chuckle under my breath at her words. "I don't think I'm wired that way, Wanda." I reply. "I know." She laughs softly. "But maybe you can try. Kate isn't here to hurt Y/n. She's just, being a friend. Maybe that's exactly what Y/n needs right now." I nod, though my instincts still bristle at the idea of lowering my walls completely. "You're right. But I'm not going to stop being protective. Not after we failed her so badly." My gaze hardens just a fraction. "I can't."

Wanda's expression softens further, understanding in her eyes. "No one's asking you to stop protecting her Nat. Just, give this a chance. What ever it might be." She pleads. I look at Y/n again. She's relaxed in a way I haven't seen her in months. The tightness in her shoulders is gone, replaced by something lighter, freer. And I realise that I'm not the only one trying to protect her. Maybe, in her own way, Kate is too.

"I'll give it a chance." I mutter quietly. "But I'll be watching." Wanda smiles knowingly. "I wouldn't expect anything less." She says as both our gazes fall to our daughter. Just then, Kate says something that makes Y/n burst out laughing, the sound so full of life that it catches me off guard. My heart clenches that it's taken this long. That Wanda and I created an environment where she felt like she no longer belonged in this family.

I know it's going to take time for her to even consider forgiving us. But I know that it's important that she has other people around her that she can talk to and have fun with. If it's just Wanda and me she'll become completely closed off. Maybe being around Kate is exactly what she needs. It doesn't mean I'll let my guard down completely. Not yet. I will always protect her. That's what mother's do. Even if I haven't proven my right to that title in a long time.

_________

As Wanda and I step back into our home, the familiar chaos of our boys welcomes us like a warm embrace. The scent of something sweet wafts through the air, mixing with the sharp, clean smell of wood polish from our recent cleaning efforts. I can hear the muffled sounds of laughter and playful shouting emanating from the living room, and it brings a smile to my face despite the heaviness still clinging to my heart.

Tommy and Billy have been asking about their sister non-stop over the last few days, and every time, I see the worry deepen in their little faces. They've felt the weight of Y/n's absences as much as we have, maybe more.

"Hey, you two!" I call out, my voice breaking through the din. Almost immediately, Tommy and Billy come barrelling into the hallway, their faces lighting up like it's Christmas morning. They launch themselves at us, wrapping their arms around my waist and Wanda's legs in a tangle of limbs and giggles. It's a comforting noise, one that momentarily pulls me away from the weight of the world outside these walls.

"Mom! Mom! How's Y/n? Is she okay?" Tommy's voice rises with excitement, his wide eyes sparkling with a mixture of hope and anxiety. I exchange a glance with Wanda, who stands beside me, her own expression tinged with a protective softness. It's a moment like this that reminds me just how much the boys adore their sister.

"She's still unwell, sweetheart," I say gently, kneeling down to meet Tommy's gaze at eye level. "But she's doing better than she was. She'll be home soon." I try to sound optimistic, but the knot in my stomach betrays me. I know how much they want to see Y/n, and how hard it's been for them to understand why she isn't here with us.

"Soon? Like tomorrow?" Billy asks, bouncing on his toes, his dark hair flopping into his eyes. There's a slight hopefulness in his voice, and it makes my heart ache, knowing they're so eager for good news. Wanda steps in beside me, placing a hand on Tommy's shoulder, her touch gentle and reassuring. "She's going to need a few more days in the hospital, honey. She's got to rest and get better first." I watch the way Wanda's eyes soften when she speaks to the boys, how she has an innate ability to make even the hardest truths sound a little lighter.

"But her birthday is coming up!" Tommy exclaims suddenly, his expression shifting from concern to realization. "We have to make it special for her! Can we plan a perfect birthday for her in her hospital room?" His enthusiasm is infectious, and a flicker of warmth spreads in my chest at his determination. Billy nods vigorously, his face lighting up with ideas. "Yeah! We can decorate it and bring her cake! She'll love that!" The energy in the room shifts, and I can see both boys imagining the decorations they might hang, the cake they might bake, and the joy they hope to bring their sister.

"That's a great idea," I agree, feeling a swell of pride as I watch them brainstorm. "But we need to wait until she's feeling a bit better, okay? We don't want to overwhelm her." Tommy frowns slightly, his brow furrowing in thought. "When can we see her?" His voice is earnest, full of longing. I can hear the worry tucked beneath his words, and it tugs at my heart. "Yeah, we want to see Y/n!" Billy adds, his expression mirroring his brother's eagerness.

Wanda glances at me, and I can feel the weight of our responsibilities bearing down. "We'll take you to see her in the morning," I promise, seeing their faces light up with hope. "But remember, she might be tired and need to rest, so we have to be gentle with her."

"Yay!" Tommy cheers, his voice ringing through the hallway, and Billy joins in, practically bouncing on his heels with excitement. Their joy is palpable, a reminder of the happiness that can still exist even amidst uncertainty and pain.

Just then, Steve steps out from the kitchen, having been quietly observing the boys from a distance. His presence brings a calmness to the chaos, and I find comfort in knowing he's here. "Hey, how are you two doing?" he asks, his eyes twinkling as he takes in the scene of our little family reunion.

"Mama and mom just told us that Y/n is coming home soon!" Tommy exclaims, practically vibrating with excitement, his hands flailing as he gestures animatedly.

"Yeah, and we're planning the best birthday for her ever!" Billy adds, his voice bubbling over with enthusiasm, his cheeks flushed with energy.

"Sounds like you're all set for a celebration," Steve says with a smile, nodding approvingly. He leans against the wall, crossing his arms as he watches the boys with fondness. "I'll leave you to it. Just let me know if you need anything." He shoots us a knowing look, one that acknowledges the weight of what we're dealing with, before stepping back into the kitchen.

As Wanda and I stand there, our boys filled with excitable plans, I can't help but feel a mix of gratitude and dread. Gratitude for the moments of joy, the laughter that fills our home, and the love that binds us together. Sadness that our family isn't complete and dread for the challenges still ahead. We're still on shaky ground, still trying to piece together the remnants of our family after everything that's happened.

But for now, I push those worries aside. I take a deep breath, inhaling the comforting scent of our home, and look around at the smiling faces of my children. "Okay, let's start planning for this birthday celebration!" I suggest, my heart lifting at the idea of planning something special for Y/n.

"We need balloons. And streamers!" Tommy states excitedly, his eyes bright with ideas. "And cake!" Billy insists, his mouth already watering at the thought. "What kind should we get her?"

As we brainstorm, I can't help but smile. We'll take this one step at a time. Tomorrow, we'll bring the boys to see Y/n, and hopefully, we'll be one step closer to bringing her home where she belongs. Hopefully, she'll see that we plan to be the best parents to her and in time she'll forgive us. I feel a flicker of hope, ignited by the boys' excitement and determination to make their sister smile, to show her that she is loved and missed.

"Let's get started," I say, my voice full of warmth as I gather them into a huddle, my heart swelling with pride. Together, we can do this. Together, we can find a way to help Y/n heal, and maybe even begin to mend the cracks that have formed in our family.

Taglist: @reggierizzoli @ordelixx @mousetheorist @oh-thats-cute @bstvst @waiqui @fxckmiup @kosmichs1 @theprincipality

[kkayyerr]

Cute & Creepy

Summary: Rafe finding his little one with his gun in her hands.

Cw: Age regression, little!reader, slight angst, fluff in the end.

Trigger warnings: Weapon, shouting, slight swearing, dark!Rafe.

author’s note: English isn’t my first language, so don’t be a meanie!

Rafe spend almost an hour wondering around the house and trying to find his gun. He never had lost it before so the whole situation was very intimidating for him for two particular reasons.

One, he hated feeling himself unprotected and not having his weapon with him.

And two, he knew that you were regressed right now which had meant that you would probably take that thing for the toy if you would find it first.

Rafe tried to search for it everywhere and had already made a mess out of his room. When the gun was nowhere to be found he started to slowly losing his shit. How could he even let that happened in the first place and why does that had to happen right now, when he needed that thing the most? Of course he wanted his gun to be on his hands always, just so he could’ve been prepared to some crazy shit that Pogues might wanna push, but he wanted it to be there especially when you where little.

You could’ve get killed, injured, kidnapped or else, and he definitely couldn’t let that happened.

Rafe reached for his phone and found Barry’s number quickly, prepared to call him as he heard a loud noise coming from the downstairs that made him flinch.

Gunshot.

Shit.

He threw his phone on the nightstand and stormed out of the room, running downstairs as quick as it was possible.

When he came into the living room he saw you. And his gun in your shaking little hands.

You turned your head to the sounds of his footsteps, the look of pure terror on your face. You didn’t know what exactly scared you that much, the fact that you just had left a bullet hole in the wall, or the angry gaze that Rafe gave you when he saw his gun in your hand.

He quickly approached you grabbing your wrist tightly, and snatching the gun out of your hand.

He gave you two painful slaps on both of your hands.

„How many times do I have to tell you to stay out of my shit, huh?”

You remained silent, putting your head down. You didn’t like seeing him like this. Every time he would shout at you or just gave you a disappointed look you had felt very guilty for what you had done to make him unpleased.

You always wanted to make him proud, since the first day him being your caregiver.

Or at least it what he had tought you.

You had to make him proud to earn his affection and attention.

He harshly grabbed your chin, pulling your head up and making you look him in the eyes, as he bend down to your level.

„Look at me! How many times?”

Your gaze became blurry from the tears that appeared in your eyes when you saw exactly how angry he was with you. You already knew what that meant.

No playtime, no cuddles and of course no sweets for almost a week.

„M..many.“

His grip on your chin became softer, as he saw the tears in your eyes. Yes, he might’ve been a strict daddy, but he definitely didn’t like to see his little girl cry because of his behavior that might’ve been a bit much sometimes.

„Exactly. And why in the hell did I catch you there with the god damn gun in your hand?“

You let out a heavy sigh. You didn’t know how to explain that exactly, but seeing him so tired and angry all the time for the couple of last weeks haven’t been sitting right with you. You wanted to help Rafe, protect him from his enemies that he had been talking about with his folks. You wanted to protect him from everything and everyone, actually, because what would you let someone hurt your daddy?

„Wanted to pwotect you, daddy.”

You muttered, as your cheeks slightly blushed. For some reasons you didn’t wanted him to know that you actually cared about him that much.

Rafe’s eyes widened at your response, which he definitely didn’t expected from you.

Protect?

His gaze softened and his tone now became more gentle, as your quiet confess made his cold heart melt a little bit.

„Protect me from what, baby?”

He asked, a small smile now playing on his lips, as his expression now was almost soft, which was a rare occasion for him. Your lips were also tugged into smile, the shy one, as you were trying to find the right words in your little head.

„Bad people.”

Your words almost made him chuckle, but he kept his expression serious, now trying to find a way to calm you down and made those stupid thoughts about „protection” disappear.

He nodded to you, and then slowly pulled you close, patting your head in the calming manner.

He was glad that you weren’t smart enough to understand that „bad person” in question was now holding you in his arms.

„You don’t need to protect me, baby, that my job, understood? I will protect the both of us.”

He held you close to him, as you hide your face in his neck, probably trying to find some comfort after reliving a stressful situation. He tried to kept his tone firm, even though little proud smile formed on his lips.

„Daddy?”

You whispered in his neck, your voice gentle, and somehow Rafe knew that you were about to drop yet another confession.

You looked up, and your eyes had those little sly glimpse in them for a second before you spoke up.

„I also know how to use a knifey.”

Rafe couldn’t help himself but laugh at your admission. He gently ruffled your hair, giving you a small kiss on your forehead, showing that there is no consequences this time.

„You are actually a daddy’s little girl, aren’t you?”

The next day Rafe showed up home with a pink toy gun that he had bought specifically for you.

Taglist: @marvelfanfics1 and my dear Polly who I couldn’t tag because of tumblr for some reason😭.

[h3llblazer]

SEVERE TW TO EVERYONE. NOT A DRILL GENUINELY THIS MIGHT REALLY TRIGGER SOME PEOPLE, PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

Tw: attempted sewerslide, sewerslide, unhealthy thoughts, depression and a maybe bit too gruesome description at times, Be aware!!

.

.

.

.

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Why...why every single time that he tries to get better, act like he always does, he ends up in worse situations than ever.

He didn't want it to come to this, really he didn't it just..became too much, maybe he drank too much that night, if he were sober maybe he wouldn't have done this, maybe he would've actually looked for help if he just held on a little longer?

But oh well, it's too late now.

It's pathetic really, he should be so much better than this, I mean he literal reason he got this far was trough a previous attempt on ending his own life..but well he did one before that too and he didn't even end up dying so, maybe this time will work right? I mean he wouldn't have much of a consequence on dying, he's banned from both hell and heaven so his soul would simply be obliterated, ultimate ending. No chance to even suffer more.

He would probably deserve hell more than anyone but guess once more he got the easy way out of this one.

Drunken steps leading him to the bathroom, was this the smartest way to do it? Maybe, maybe not, I mean not like he'll feel much anyway, his arm has gone through enough nerve damage already due to many many rituals, so..this shouldn't hurt as much as it did.

He let the water run, sitting in his bath tub, not even crying just in a blank state of reality and delusion.

A wish to die, really now?..well..really honestly if he had any ounce of rationality left he wouldn't have done this.

.

.

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One deep cut, right on the artery..hell it started bleeding like crazy the second he cut it open, holding back a cry of pain. Holy shit this hurt-

The alcohol did it's best to just numb the pain, which it did a good job at.

.

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Now just wait...wait for the world to fade. Wait for his doom...why didn't he even think twice?

[mellohiizz]

im more complex about the episode then everyone else seems to be apparently. imo they all sucked this episode.

for one, i am actually a dean sympathizer. lets be real parrot and wifies both treated him badly. i wouldnt have told parrot either when he was there constantly repeating the exact same things ash said to blackmail dean; and wifies isnt much better for affirming the shit ash told dean either, infact i would argue wifies was even worse then about it. if i was there hearing "ash was right. youre a burden, but thats ok." and "ash was right. your a burden, we should be leaving you for dead." i wouldnt want to risk jeopardizing my one source of safety either.

before the reveal that dean was actually involved in the leaking of their location wifies just came of as a semi-controlling dick. there were a million better ways all of them could have done things this episode. i dont really like the wifies glazing as if he was perfect this episode and didnt treat a fellow victim who lodgically didnt have a choice like shit. wifies is smart enough to figure out dean didnt want to sell them out. imo he had no actual reason to reason to treat dean with as little empathy as he did, especially when wifies knows exactly what its like to have his existance used to get to parrot in the exact chain of events parrot referenced after the compass was burnt.

both sides of odessy were being hypocritical and hurtful as hell and thats been a theme of uu the whole time. theyre all flawed, they are make mistakes and are selfish and hurt others doing what they think is righteous or best or safest. uu is the dichotomy of perspective, about how everyone does what they think is best and how more often then not that best hurts atleast someone. and guess what? thats life. thats actually pretty normal, especially if youve been through your own shit or are traumatized like the characters of uu are.

they all suck and hurt people, thats the moral of the story. the moral that feels very lost on most of the fandom...

-🔍🏰(f:▶️🥊)

honestly, good take. kind of made me rethink some things that happened in the episode as well.

to be fair, yes, obviously dean was treated badly the whole episode. even i noted that wifies was a bit too harsh with how he approached things the whole video. he knew that dean was leaking information, didn't tell parrot, and still tried to put basically the whole blame of it on dean. "you could argue i hid it from you" yes, wifies, you did keep it from parrot, knowing that parrot would've tried to look for a different solution.

parrot was obviously not any better. he brushed off wifies despite the other very clearly showing signs of concern and he did also openly called dean a burden. which is, yes, he was slowing them down, but i feel like there was a nicer was to go about it.

and yes, i do sympathize with dean, but he did hide a piece of pretty crucial information from them, keeping a leverage in the compass, and then ran away after being confronted. it's fair, i'm not saying he was entirely wrong for that too, but i feel like it wouldn't be fair to say anyone was fully in right/wrong.

and yeah, you're are right, the morality of characters is a pretty obvious focus on the whole uu, and obviously all of them are very flawed. taking wifies's words, we just need to try and look at things from all of their perspectives. they're all understandable, and in some ways even reasonable, but there were much better ways to go about the whole situation, but the problem was exactly that. perspective. they were all focused on their individual goals and didn't try to see everything from the perspective of others. and that's what separated all of them.

[queerwritersingerdramaqueen]

Oh. My. Fucking. GODS BITCHES.

There is so much fucking hurt coming this way. 

But! You all know the drill! SPOILERS FOR THE VENGEANCE SAGA PAST THIS POINT. IF YOU HAVE NOT LISTENED TO IT, DON’T SPOIL IT FOR YOURSELF IT’S FUCKING INSANE AND THE SURPRISE FACTOR MAKES IT SO MUCH BETTER. 

FIRST OF ALL, HOLY FUCK SHIT WENT SIDEWAYS SO FUCKING QUICK. BETWEEN THE WIND BAG AND THE SIX HUNDRED STRIKE. I’M QUAKING IN MY BOOTS.

This saga is the long awaited conclusion to the Mycroft vs William debacle and it requires a LOT of backstory so bear with me. 

So, at some point before the Vengeance saga (can be in between then and the wisdom saga, or even earlier than that) Mycroft and Albert hooked up. This very funny idea is brought to you by Steven Rodriguez’s “Like You Mean It” and “The Devil Wears Lace” and it’s basically brought up by a very drunk Karaoke session and one thing leads to another. Anyway, the short relationship doesn’t end well since Mycroft has a bit of a “Fuck, I slept with the enemy” moment (he’s still very much on the defense when it comes to Sherlock) AND IT GETS A LITTLE MESSY. Mycroft doesn’t completely ghost Albert but he does sort of step back when Albert starts showing genuine affection for him (oh boy, I’ve never written Alcroft angst centred around Mycroft before, Albert is usually the one who needs to get his shit together). Regardless, William is now doubly pissed at Mycroft, Albert’s sad and Sherlock is just shaking his head in disappointment because if he’s the only one who pulled his head out of his ass, then they're all doomed. The OTHER really big thing to remember during this saga is that Mycroft didn’t know ANYTHING about Sherlock and William leading up to the performance. He and Sherlock (especially since the Ruthlessness fiasco) haven’t talked heaps and Mycroft hasn’t been on set since then either. Sherlock does appreciate his brother looking out for him; he does NOT appreciate Mycroft threatening him through song. 

Most of the rest of the cast are kind of just chilling watching this all go down on the side with a bucket of popcorn. They know better than to get involved with the Lord of Crime and the Government when they’re fighting. 

So this saga summed up: the in-laws are FIGHTING

But without further ado, let's get into it

The Vengeance Saga: 

Not Sorry for Loving you - I’m going to preface this one that I am entirely open to any kind of criticisms that may be had about my approach to this song. I’ve never been in that kind of situation and I’m interpreting the song as sung by someone who hasn’t actively kept their “partner” prisoner for seven years. When I listen to “Not Sorry for Loving You” and put it in the perspective of Albert, it sounds much less like an abusers half-assed apology (when it comes from Calypso, then I can hear the bullshit). So with that in mind, feel free to make suggestions and criticisms, I’m completely open to that. Hell, I even ewncourage them because I don't want to be an asshole here.

So, Albert’s rendition of this song obviously doesn’t come from a place of (romantic) love for William but he’s projecting onto him big time. To further emphasise this point, Albert’s not looking at him throughout the song. He could be doing that fourth-wall break again but this time with trying to make the audience sympathetic (god, outside of the AU, that would be such an interesting way of doing Calypso, with her always trying to present herself as a loving, poor girl trapped on an island, making even those who know how wrong she is sympathetic). That first part where he says “That you’re not mine to save” ties in really fucking well to that chapter where Albert blames himself for being the reason William fell. I also can’t believe I managed to kind of catch that in the wisdom saga during Love in Paradise. The thing I’m trying to go for here is letting Albert get some of his frustration out, because he hasn’t had the best luck with family or dating and even friends, so when he meets Mycroft and he finds all those things in him, it’s amazing. This probably would not come across in the actual performance (he does still have a role to play) but counteractive to Calypso deflecting her actions during the Pre-chorus, Albert is owning up to his faults, even when they’re not actually that bad. Mycroft’s guilt over the whole Sherlock/William thing is to blame, not Albert; but he blames himself anyway. A very large portion of this would rely on the writer’s (AKA. my own) ability to get that message across and I totally understand if I haven’t made it make sense. During the bridge part, “I’m angry and tired and restless and sad” the frustration hits a peak and Albert’s venting a little bit on wanting Mycroft to let go of his little (kinda petty) feud with William (and maybe still being kind of pissed at William for doing what he did (Albert and Sherlock are besties and you can fight me on that, you won’t win)). William’s “I love you/but not in the way you want me too” is less about being the object of Albert’s anger/affection and more like “This song isn’t for me, but I do love you brother and you’ll get through this.” And the damn kind of just breaks from there as Albert watches William “sail” away. 

Dangerous - THE BOY IS BACK!!!!! HERMESSSSSSS! JAMESSSSSSSS! You don’t understand how actually HYPED I am that James is back in this AU! Dangerous is such a fucking bop :D But before I get into it, production is a thing and it sucks to work out. Maybe Von Herder really should be just a guy out back cause I need his help figuring out how to do the raft?! For now, I’d assume it’s just on wheels and maybe actors in those dark jumpsuits are pushing it around (Like with the Cyclops puppet and what will eventually happen with Charybdis). IF they’re already on stage that's probably good too, they can pretend to be the monsters along the way and it’ll be an easy transition. AND A COUPLE OF THEM CAN BE WINIONS So plot wise, James is trying to reel William in because this man is gonna lose his shit on Mycroft in a second. The whiplash of how disco-esque Dangerous is helps in being a sort of calming factor (until the “NO” that is) for James to help William take a breath. The wind bag, once more, serves its purpose of being all the bottled up shit William (and even Mycroft to some extent, since it’s HIS storm after all) is holding onto. Most of this song is kind of just a dance break but once we get to the windbag, we get some more plot. This is William’s chance to prove he won’t let anything get in the way of him and Sherlock, his last chance to prove to Mycroft that he won’t hurt his baby brother again (and trust me, William absolutely recognises the GALL of it coming from Mycroft). It’s also his chance to show how he’s “healed,” though that’s more implied through the metaphor of the wind bag. If he has to be ruthless and give Mycroft the what for, he’s gonna do it. I’m also going to make another disclaimer that YES, I know Mycroft now sounds like an asshole. If this were a properly written fic where I could dive into nuance, I could explain the intricacies of both William and Mycroft in a probably more understanding way. As stands however *bangs pots over my head* THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION, ANY ACTIONS WITHIN ARE NOT TO BE TAKEN WITH THE SERIOUSNESS OF REAL LIFE. 

(also, the “I’m not the one who fought for you” knowing it was Sherlock/Athena who fought with William through most of the hardship is fucking amazing)

Charybdis - This number requires us to look less at what’s on the stage and what’s happening backstage. Musical wise, we’ve got big puppet Charybdis. I think that style of the dragon dance would be a good way of doing it, or with the long poles to make it go really high. This piece would need some serious production work because I don’t know quite enough about that side of theatre. I’m just good at the literary stuff (in case it wasn’t obvious). We could even simulate waves with fabric being fwiped around by actors. But back on the plot stuff, William is determined. Mycroft sees this and is like, “oh we are both fucked here.” The actual emotional things happening are weird. Mycroft knows that he’s not much better than William (Though he was absolutely more direct with Albert, his reasoning was a little bullshit even to Sherlock, the guy he was doing it for). He’s feeling guilty and sad for giving up what he had and angry at William because he understands on an even more personal level how the whole situation hurts someone else. But Mycroft is seeing this determination and is deeply conflicted on how he should feel (Albert’s crying in the corner after his number and Sherlock’s stealing popcorn waiting for his boyfriend and brother to duke it out because there is no way in hell he’s defending either of them, they can work out their own shit and grovel at his feet afterwards). When William “reaches Ithaca” and is dragged back (that “NO” fucking hurt man) it’s Mycroft being like, “alright fucker, prove it” (which was the original story idea until I heard all of the vengeance saga and proceeded to lose my marbles with a subplot)

(I feel like this is a good juncture to clarify and remind everyone what actually happened. William and Sherlock had a fight because William wasn’t taking care of himself. They go through a sort of “soft-lock” breakup where they consider it all done but they never actually talk about it, so when Sherlock tries to make amends and either fix or end the relationship, William ghosts him and it’s not until the Ocean Saga that he realises how badly that hurt Sherlock. After those events (when Mycroft isn’t around to witness), William chooses to get help and he and Sherlock are slowly trying to at least repair their friendship. This is a mutual choice that they both want. Mycroft and Albert go through something different. It eventually dawns on Mycroft that Albert is in fact William’s brother and he feels like he might be betraying Sherlock by having a connection with the Moriarty’s at all. Because he’s only been in the musical for one instant, he doesn’t know about them and the developments they've made. He and Albert are not quite in an established relationship and more like sleeping together and sticking around to cuddle afterward. *bangs the pot again* FICTION PEOPLE, FEEL THE FLUFF, DROP THE STUFF. DON’T DO THIS IN REAL LIFE, LIVE VICARIOUSLY THROUGH THEM WORKING OUT THEIR ISSUES.)

Get in the Water - WHEN I TELL YOU I HAD BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT I’ve been actually fucking obsessed with how this would go and it’s the “I can’t…” that inspired a lot of what’s about to happen. So, the original plot, as mentioned above, was going to be just William getting his resolve tested by Mycroft, a test to see if he’d actually built up the courage and strength to stick with Sherlock. Now it’s a looooot more with the sub plot. “Get in the water” is now less about William not bending on getting what he wants, and more about Mycroft just wanting William to go away so 1) Sherlock can’t be hurt again (he’s clueless, remember?) and 2) so he can stop feeling guilt about pushing Albert away. He is also warring with himself somewhat and somewhere inside him he really wants William to prove him wrong. They are also playing parts so please keep that in mind with some of what they’re saying; it’s the intent and emotion behind how they're singing it that implies what they're really trying to say to each other. I also think that, while having the trident is really cool, I like the way this one animatic portrays a stage adaptation with him using long pieces of fabric coloured like the sea to throw him around a bit, tied with the other actors throwing “water” at him. The aerials are also still an option I’d like to use for the gods and the dead, and they’ll play in really well later.  William does extend an olive branch at one point, he’s not beyond the point of forgiveness yet. Maybe they can forgive each other and themselves for hurting those closest to them. That “I can’t…” though takes. Me. out. Mycroft forgiving William means forgiving himself and trying to make things right between him and Albert. He wants too but he’s fucking STUBBORN. So we get the “Ruthlessness is Mercy Upon Ourselves” bit thrown back at him again, because he truly believes that he has to be a bit self-destructive and let Albert move on without him, that he has to protect Sherlock from William. Pair that with the fact that (at least the way I write them) they never do truly “like” each other and he’s just really fucking angry at himself and William. (weird segue but I genuinely do think that, in canon post-timeskip, Mycroft wouldn’t like William for being the reason Sherlock jumped off the bridge and disappeared for three years, for making him dance in his hand, or completely overtaking his life with these cases to the point that Sherlock killed someone just to cut the strings. Kind of like the Louis/Sherlock situation, but with just an ounce more respect towards the other party, because Mycroft does understand it was still Sherlock’s choice. So in my writing at least, they usually don’t like each other all that much but they stay out of it.) Now, the last breath. I came to the really sad realisation the other day that Anticlea, Eurylochus and Polities actually make up the three original group members we meet at the start of the manga, so I’m just going to go *sobs really fucking loudly around the corner.* You don’t understand how badly this fucks me up, that this whole time, I’ve unintentionally had Fred, Moran and Louis, the first three of the crime gang to enact the plan, also be the voices he remembers whenever he’s in a tough spot. So please picture for me, William on his knees in blue light, arms raised like he’s drowning, then Fred pops up, then Moran (They make up this saga! YAY! :D), then Louis and they’re sort of cradling him until the “Ohh wahh ohoh, Odysseus” where the crew of Odysseus’ ship (portraying the majority that were drowned) lift him up off the stage and into the air (he looks like he has drowned by this point, limp and everything), showing how they will support him through this too. Then the good shit happens after the lights go out.

Six Hundred Strike - Obviously, Mycroft didn’t drown six hundred men, nor would he talk shit about William to his friends. That part is all for show so please keep that in mind. 

BUT IMAGINE PLEASE, RED SPOTLIGHT ON WHERE THEY’RE ALL LIFTING WILLIAM UP, THE WINDBAG GLOWING BLUE AS IT TRAVELS ACROSS THE CROWD TO HIM AND WHEN HE GETS A HOLD OF IT AND RELEASES IT, HE GRABS AN AERIAL ROPE AND GETS TO FLY BECAUSE HE IS USING THE POWER OF THE GODS, ER GO, HE IS FLYING LIKE THE GODS DO. PLEASE TELL ME YOU SEE THE SYMBOLISM???

All the men crowd around the stage while Mycroft and William are overhead doing some cool aerial tricks and circling each other, light now turned gold. Once shatter the ocean is dispelled, I’m tossing up if they come back down onto the stage so the men can attack or if they remain in the air and William attacks while the men goad him on. If they come back down and the men rush him, they can get backstage fairly easily, but we’d lose that sense of Odysseus using god powers. Thoughts welcome on that. After the attack, they “fal”l back onto the stage, the middle portion is raised (if you’ve ever seen & Juliet, the stage during “de Bois Bands back” is what I’m going for.) and there are white lights pointing upwards, so you can see William and Mycroft’s silhouettes. “You released my storm” is kind of Mycroft (in all his emotionally repressed idiocy) owning up that they both just lost their shit and proved they’re not “great” people.  And William, in all his “I’ve been to therapy for the last several months what the fuck do you mean I’m a bad person for feeling emotions?” decides that maybe he should just let Mycroft have it so he finally understands a thing or two. The silhouettes are important because William will be stabby for like a whole minute (speaking of that, does anyone else feel like this is the most violent and real it’s gotten since just a man? Like, yes there has been violence but it’s been a sort of mythical violence, the cyclops, the storms and the god games have been sort of disconnected from real, human malice. Little Wolf had like a taste of it but just the act of Odysseus stabbing the shit out of Poseidon, while he’s down nonetheless, just feels so much more horrifying than anything that’s already happened. It’s terrifyingly human). Also, there would be no way of making it look like he’s bleeding on stage unless he had like, fake blood packs under his clothes and I don’t know how he’d keep them there. The act of putting it in shadow, much like Gwendy’s animatic from the livestream, makes it more sinister. You can’t see it but you can definitely hear it. 

“How does it feel to be helpless? How does it feel to know pain?” Because William, during everything that had happened, had been in pain. He’d been hurting for a long time, long before the musical even started production, long before he even met Sherlock or lost his eye. “I watched my men die in Horror - Calling their captain in vain.” He’ll make Mycroft understand that he’s seen some horrible things. “Look what you turned me into, look what we’ve become.” Mycroft made this angry side in him come out, and now they’re fighting over something that could be so fixable, because if William/Odysseus had to get over his pride to move on, then Mycroft/Posieden is gonna learn the same fucking lesson. “All of the pain that I’ve been through, haven’t I suffered enough?!” When will Mycroft realise that William learnt this lesson, it’s now him who needs to get off his high horse and see what ruthlessness can do to a person? “You didn’t stop when I begged you, told me to close my heart. You said the world was dark,” William knows that what he did was wrong and he cannot make up for it, that it’ll probably scar for a while. He does not need to keep being told that, doesn’t need to be continuously told that he can’t make amends, especially when Sherlock wants him to. “Didn’t you say that ruthlessness is mercy upon our-” See what his ruthlessness bred? See what William choosing to be ruthless and telling Mycroft everything did? The stabbing stops. William goes to walk away backstage when Mycroft gives that final question. William answers truthfully, then walks away, leaving Mycroft to ruminate on his own attitude towards everything that’s happened. 

AND THAT’S IT, THAT'S THE VENGEANCE SAGA!!! These two have gotten ALL their pent up aggression out, they’ve gotten to have a little fight and whatnot, and now, they can have a proper adult conversation after the show about what’s happened and Mycroft can make up with Albert already because fucking hell, Albert’s been waiting for weeks for Mycroft to realise (or be told by Sherlock literal minutes before the show) that he’s making a lot of assumptions of the situation. 

At this juncture, I think it’s a good time to bring up Moran and William’s reconciliation because it can play really nicely into the olive branch moment. It’s probably a pretty simple moment, Moran apologises for getting angry and William apologises for not being as readily available. I think that moment where he’s trying to connect with Mycroft is a moment a bit like that, where they can acknowledge each other’s mistakes and make an attempt for peace (Mycroft just wasn’t ready to accept that forgiveness).

Again, some of the things that happen in this particular sketch of the narrative may make it seem like Mycroft and William are just assholes to each other but there is supposed to be nuance to their relationship and the relationships they have to each other’s brother. Mycroft needs to learn that he can’t be getting all up in Sherlock’s business and, though his protectiveness is appreciated and was at one point nice, fighting battles for him that he wasn’t even having. William, though being “rightfully” judged in this scenario, is still the bigger person until Mycroft pushes him enough. These two will be having a long and thoughtful talk (with Sherlock and Albert sitting in to make sure they hit all the targets, Louis on the side to make sure neither of them start fighting again) in which they will explain themselves and get over it all like adults. They will probably never truly like each other but they can be civil. 

I’d also like to point out, on some character development traits, Mycroft never talks shit about William, never insults his character to anyone (except maybe to Sherlock when they first break up and he’s humouring his tirades). Where he has to interact with the rest of the cast, William’s friends included, he is polite and tolerates any William talk until he can steer the topic in a different direction. It might be the fact that he had to hold in that anger that makes this outburst so bad. William, as well, doesn’t think Mycroft is a bad person for being a protective older brother (he’d be the Hypocrite then), nor is he upset that Albert and Mycroft were ever having a fling. It is the sheer similarities in their situations and the uncanny repeating of history that really drives William up the wall because he knows how you can fix or prevent this. 

The TL;DR: Louis is so fucking done with all their shit. 

I feel as though this AU may be slightly spiralling out of my control, so any thoughts on if I should reel it in or if the sub-plot is in a bit of a weird spot or even if I just have to add more on the sub-plot in the other sagas, all those thoughts would be greatly appreciated. I do feel like I might be giving these two a bit to much wiggle room for their mistakes but that could just be me. I am trying to be careful. Adding all I did definitely pleases the brainworms but the writer in me is questioning if I threw a bit too much in here.

This is a massive story at this point and I’m going to have to construct some sort of timeline or synopsis to get all my bases hit on where I am. 

As always, thank you to @aka-no-ken for listening to my ramblings and having something super helpful to say or just fangirling with me about someone’s voice. You’re a great friend!

TUMBLR, I WILL MAKE YOU POST THIS

PREVIEW: 

AKA-NO-KEN YOU ACTUAL PHSCHIC HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GUESS ALL MY GOD CASTINGS CORRECTLY???

AGAIN, WISDOM SAGA SPOILERS SO READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. ALSO MAYBE A TRIGGER WARNING FOR LOVE IN PARADISE CAUSE THAT WAS MORE THAN I WAS FUCKING EXPECTING.

THIS IS SHERLOCK AND BILL'S FUCKING SAGA NOW BITCHES BROS AND NON-BINARY HOES. AND AGAIN, I'M FANGIRLING AS I GO.

So, with where we left off, William's having a minor relapse in his mental state but it won't become too much of a plot point/serious thing. He and Moran are on funky terms but if there is no "reconciliation" in later sagas then We'll figure that out when we get there. Anyway, this saga ain't about him.

(ALSO, I MISSED A FUCKING OPPOURTUNITY

VON HERDER AS TIRESIAS, IM A FOOL)

Anyway, lets get started.

The Wisdom Saga:

Legendary - BILL IS HERE FUCKERS. SHERLIAM'S ADPOTED SON IS GONNA BE LEGENDARY. I really like how this parallels with Canon when Bill only knew William as a genius professor and Sherlock's actually the one who introduces them in a way. It'll set up nicely for when we get to "I can't help but wonder" and Telemachus/Bill has to toss up with the fact that his Dad just removed the twenty year problem but he did also kill a bunch of people (you know, like in canon.). So this starts out with the lights slowly coming in and Bill's "room" has a chair and a few other easily moveable props. This is a very dancey number I'm finding so these props are probably gonna get taken off stage so there can be actors milling around for Telemachus to interact with, I think he'd be mostly weaving between them trying to avoid them while they keep swiping at him. The majority of suitors can be off the stage but Antinous and a few others are up there ready for the "Whatcha gonna do about it, champ?" The lights would change on Boy to a red colour. It would be so cute seeing Billy fight for Sherlock's Honour. I think something really cool that could happen is when Telemachus sings "somebody help me" the lights flash blue for a second like Athena has heard his plea. and at the very end of the song, he punches Milverton square on the nose (in the fake way of course).

Little Wolf - My big idea for this that would absolutely not transfer over to a regular production of Epic the musical would be that Antinous/Milverton is not the one fighting Telemachus/Bill. I cannot really see Milverton fighting for himself and would definitely have lackey's doing it for him; but outside of this AU Antinous absolutely fights for himself. But yeah, Milverton mocks the shit out of Bill while he's fighting somebody. The lights stay red while the suitors and Milverton are doing their thing. When Athena appears the lights turn blue like fighting of the panic of being in a fight. I think this is one of those moments where its so fun having Sherlock as Athena and Penelope cause it's like "Don't worry baby, Mama's here to help." But, onto the super cool crossover intertexuality talk I can't seem to do right now, Sherlock as Athena fits very nicely cause he, alongside William, helps Bill get into the university; so Sherlock being the one helping in this fight reminds me of that. And Athena's "I've no respect for bullies" reminds me of his disdain for Milverton and his methods of blackmail. ALSO, HER PIANO IN THAT PART IS SO FUCKING GOOD I FUCKING ASCENDED. PAIRING IT WITHT HE DRUMS THAT WAY, WHO DOES JORGE THINK HE IS. In a way, this is like showing how Penelope would like to react to her suitors beating up her son (it just popped into my head but kind of like a batman meme, Penelope dressing up as the goddess of wisdom to fuck up her son's bullies). Athena's whole solo there sounds a lot like Sherlock when he was talking to Irene. And when the fight ends and Antinous says Penelope needs to pick a suitor, Athena/Sherlock is very disturbed before he helps Bill up.

We'll be Fine - The thing I love the absolute most about this musical is exploring Sherlock's side of this whole fiasco they were in and giving him a chance to vent some of this frustrations. Because it wasn't easy on him either and he might blame himself a little bit for not being able to help more. Bill knows a little bit about it from gossip and rumour and being a part of the Epic cast for a little while, not too much but between the two of them, Bill understands that Sherlock is letting out a bit of his frustration with the previous problem and the repeat that seems to be occurring, because he's super smart like that (I say seems because in real life, it won't last that long and William is probably gonna be ok and reconciled with Moran by the time we get there. It'll hopefully make sense once we get to the next saga but I just can't keep knocking this dude over he needs to start healing and giving him a less self-jeopardising problem to fight). Even though he and William have worked through a fair bit of what happened and their still going really strong, Sherlock is still worried. Sherlock's super soft on Bill because he's so similar to William. Bill, while sticking to the script, is just subtly reassuring him that it's ok, they'll get through this rough patch and they'll be fine. Sherlock doesn't need to be the first responder. A little bit of it probably comes out as Bill saying "William wouldn't want you to beat yourself up over this," especially when he mentions Athena's friend (William and Bill are also probably really close friends at this point, don't tell me William wouldn't take him under his wing immediately after they're introduced). When Athena calls him a good kid, Sherlock ruffles his hair and then Bill makes a move like someone's calling him and runs off, leaving him for the next part.

ALRIGHT I'M HAVING FUCKING ISSUES WITH TUMBLR RIGHT NOW SO STAY TUNED FOR PART TWO BECAUSE ANYTHING LONGER THAN THIS WONT FUCKING POST OR SAVE AS A DRAFT.

@aka-no-ken I'M COMING SWEETIE AND I'M BRINGING MY WORK WITH ME JUST BEAR WITH ME

[fullscoreshenanigans]

Me: I will never not adore all the creative decisions CloversWorks put into the opening. Not only does the fuse line in the foreground serve as the visual representation of the spark mentioned in the lyrics that foreshadows one of the most climactic moments of the series people still cite fondly as a result of the incredible emotional and narrative payoff it culminates in—the destruction of Grace Field Plant No.3 in a sea of flames—built up by the three earlier background chants of “fire!” in English, but also as a figurative red string of fate between the three children destiny threw together whose personalities, strengths, and weaknesses all play off each other beautifully and are all integral to facilitating the escape that will forever alter the fate of two worlds after a millennia of suffering, adamantly refusing the outcomes the system had determined for them, and I appreciate the series allowing the audience to view this entirely through a platonic lens.

Also me with my REN-addled brain: red string of fate,,,soulmates,,,🖤🧡🤍 |33

[triglycercule]

horror bragging about he's immortal and allat to killer and dust (because he genuinely thinks he is. like he literally came back from the DEAD that is a proud accomplishment!!!! bro probably brags all the time about it like "heh even if you hit me hard i'll just get back up. bitch")

and then killer's like alright bet! let's test that out! and then he starts going on an all out chase for horror's head. and dust just follows along because hey why the fuck not it sounds fun and it would be nice to knock horror down a peg or two :3 frantic running from horror ensues because as much as he'd like to stick by his claim he REALLY cannot be going around risking to see if him being immortal is actually true 💀

[starlooove]

Call me jaded bitter and black but I’ll never care about the nuances of the police fill in on tv. Like we already have to deal with the ‘my dad is a cop :(‘ or ‘my broke brother joined the military’ irl why the fuck am I wasting my brain power on Caitlyn or vi. Like we know materialistically the authority of being a cop can get u what u want faster and that emotionally u either need strict routine with an outlet for ur violence or ur so used to it that u have to be a cop. I still fucking hate u tho like idc about how sad u are about being privileged and I said cop fill in but it’s really every kind of that character on tv like Zuko esque sorry I genuinely have less empathy for you than I do for other people idc

[orcelito]

Ykno the suckiest thing about being broken up with for someone else is that like. Well I'm doing generally fine, all things considered, but I Am kinda sad thinking about the things I've lost and all the casual affection that I can't have now.

But she's out there having all the affection she wants from her coworker, and it's just like. Damn this feels so skewed and SO unfair.

[piplupod]

sometimes i think maybe it's a good thing i'm so traumatized and fucked up mentally and emotionally bc then i never expect ppl to be kind or even just plain old nice to me, so when they ARE kind or nice i feel overwhelming gratitude and almost a sense of awe HFDSJKL like... i dont know if i would have had this appreciation for each little piece of kindness if i wasn't the way that i am. but also i know thats kind of an absolutely wild way of thinking about this LMAO

[placesyoucallhome]

you know what would fix me? drawing shippy shit yeah totally

[bardkin]

feeling like you're "not disabled enough" to quit your job or at least ask for accommodations fuckin' sucks

[lilgynt]

shit my partner has done in the last 48 hours: one. make fun of my dad who just got out of the hospital bc he beat me as kid allegedly two. slapped my ass in front my old coworkers bc she genuinely hates their guts

[snekdood]

not much i can do about or with people who have a fundamental misunderstanding of reality.

[toytulini]

oh. i was gonna reblog the one defending toshiro too from a cultural perspective but the reblogs are off. rip

[medicinemane]

I'm still mad about the friend of mine who got harassed off of here. Any time I see their old url, it feels really nice to see it again, but then I remember why they're not using it anymore

Didn't do a damn thing wrong, just annoyed some people enough they started a harassment campaign. They literally said as much, I'm not just making that up. Every last thing they supposedly did wrong either wasn't wrong period, was twisting their words hardcore, or was a situation where they didn't realize the context of a phrase they were using a tiny bit of gentle correction was enough to make them go "oh shit, I didn't realize that" and change (but still get harassed even though they literally had already changed)

Accused of all kind of horrible shit over fucking nothing, people just like having an acceptable target and are a bit over eager to buy into slander that if you actually know the person is demonstrably false

I still talk to them of course, but the past pisses me off