#literally years on end decades on end
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living every day in constant anxiety is actually not normal or okay hm
#like days and days on end with waves that’s not good#maybe the world shouldn’t be an ocean I’m stuck treading all the time#literally years on end decades on end#fuck this lol
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I'm soooooo tired of living like this I need competent medical care I NEED CARE. HELLO????? I'M SO FUCKING TIRED!!!!!!!!! SCREAM
#sick#literally my friends and loved ones are the only people who have ever done anything for me illnesswise.#it's like a very small number of doctors will occasionally give me a small piece of information that is helpful#but RARELY. LIKE EVERY FIVE YEARS. AND USUALLY BY ACCIDENT.#GOD THE MEDICAL SYSTEM IS FUCKED! ITS UTTERLY FUCKED.#being chronically ill and disabled SUCKS SO BAD AND IT WOULDNT HAVE YO#ITS ALL THE RESULT OF THE WAY THE WORLD IS. LIKE#its INSANE how are we not all TOTALLY INSANE#i myself am only MODERATELY INSANE and i have NO IDEA how#frankly i would have been justified in goong off the deep end decades ago
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"rhaenys could have ended the war by dracarysing all the greens right there" yes because a distant relation to the throne deciding to barbecue an anointed and publicly positively hailed king and his entire family who is well loved within the city and in multiple other parts of the country for the sake of the succession of a far-away princess no one was ever on board with who hasn't been seen by the populace in literal years, her psycho husband, her three obvious bastards, and two toddlers from the psycho husband would go over super well with westeros and especially in king's landing where scores of the still-cheering population were killed for no reason by that same dragon who would do the barbecuing, because when targaryens act unilaterally without thinking of how the people would react there's never any problem, which is why the storming of the dragonpit and robert's rebellion were actually just collective delusions dreamed up by readers who hate rhaenyra and not key parts of the story and house targaryen's history that directly contributed to their demise and are intrinsic to the plot
truly team black stans are made up of only the most genius and media literate amongst us
#personal#house of the dragon#anti team black#i mean i guess??#like the crowd was cheering for aegon HARD#and they were always on board with aegon#and the hightowers are a powerful house with a lot of allies#and alicent and helaena specifically were well loved by the people in king's landing and the realm at large#and none of them ever liked rhaenyra or daemon who again have been MIA for basically a decade already#and again targaryens overreaching their power and not taking the people into account#is the reason why their house fell into oblivion and now rests entirely on a FIFTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL WHO IS THE ONLY ONE LEFT#if she roasted the dais the mob wouldn't have even let her leave they'd have killed her and meleys both in a heartbeat#storming of the dragonpit but a couple months earlier#the thing to remember is that i think a lot of team black stans are just kinda stupid#and do not care about the story at all or the actual intricacies of the world and its politics that is so important to the dance#(remember the rumors of rhaenyra mistreating helaena and alicent literally led to rhaenyra's death)#(because it led to the mobs and the storming of the dragonpit and the death of joffrey and her being driven out)#(and thus having to go to dragonstone where sunfyre got a little meal out of the whole debacle good for him)#(along with all of her ten million other shitty political decisions)#how do you profess to be pro-targaryen without even knowing targaryen history and where they erred and how that ended them#like *i* like the targaryens you guys have heard me talk about the conquerors all the livelong day#but i am also smart and i understand the world george created and the concept of repercussions#anyway yeah i am Annoyed at that new daemon clip (wow what a shock something annoyed me and had daemon in it)#(my least favorite character who could have foreseen this)
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Glinda in Son of a Witch still so fucking down bad for Elphaba like
Glinda: Hello again Liir I’m glad you’re here let’s talk more about Elphie (it’s been like a decade since she died)
Liir: Uhhh ok. Sorry that your husband died like a week ago btw
Glinda: my wut
Glinda: Anyway, I came to this mauntary because this is where Elphaba lived for a little while. I’m giving them a lot of money because Elphie spent years here taking care of sick people so it must have been important to her. I’ve decided you’re her son by the way. do you want to talk about her views on religion?
#the fact that her lavender ass marriage ended in her being made a widow literally a week ago#really makes the ‘I can’t stop talking about my roommate that left me decades ago but I forgot I was married’#glinda arduenna upland#glinda upland#son of a witch#wicked book#wicked years#liir thropp#wicked
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what do u mean im gonna be blogging about new pnf episodes in 2025. that should not be a real sentence
#I am still SO flabbergasted abt the revival idc I know it’s been over a year but I still get so fucked up when I think abt it#like how are we getting new pnf a decade after it ended there’s literally no way that’s a real sentence#phineas and ferb
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me: oh i totally get it if some folks dont jive with same coin theory, plus it's strange to conceptualise at first--
me when i see people call it lame:
#is it any more lame than bill just becoming a bird after a decade of waiting#they dont understand the poetry of bill creating his own end in the form of someone he despises yet gets everything he wanted!!!#sounds like 'i didnt know about the axolotl poem and was oblivious to the bill reincarnation for the past 8 years' talk!#y'all need to appreciate a good ol bootstrap paradox!!! love me some time shenanigans!#also the funniest thing i've seen when folks were denying same coin theory was#'oh that's a paradox so that clearly can't happen!!!!'#as if both time travel eps arent entirely bootstrap paradoxes that literally points the paradox out#and the fact that soos and stan met is one too!!!#...which then makes any canon divergent aus where dipper and mabel dont make it to that ep have the timeline fall apart lol#but everyone forgets about that so whatever!!!#....yes i have beef with the inconsistencies of time travel in the eps but whatever#..........if the kids replace themselves when time travelling then what about the baby versions in 2002--#could you imagine time travellers pig with a billion time duplicates of the kids tho lmao#my point is a paradox brought this family together canonically#defying time and space and lifetimes and trauma theyre all silly goobers together!!!#anyway here's me grumbling cos it was a plot thread left out for years that we were meant to discuss/think about#too bad we didnt expect the 'bill is too busy in theraprison to get reincarnated rn' twist
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guess who started yet another play through of skyrim yesterday
#the brainrot... it will never end#literally like a decade strong#i am making an edit though so i HAVE to do another playthrough from the start to get CLIPS you understand its totally normal#be ready though i have quite the idea in my head and it WILL make my sad#shouts#also ignore it's only 130 hours on steam i've been playing skyrim on my xbox for years mostly only until i got a good gaming pc somewhat#recently in my skyrim brainrot have i had it on pc
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On the verge of doing a deep dive compare and contrast between both Wicked and Evita being adapted for films because the parallels are RIGHT THERE. In this essay I will
#that same twenty year gap between the shows and the films though#STARTS WITH A DEATH ANNOUNCEMENT OF A MORALLY AMBIGUOUS PROTAGONIST#(i joke. the stage/film version of wicked really isn't even a little bit morally ambiguous#aaand the many many diplomatic negotiations with both Argentina and madonna about preserving Eva's image)#something something Glinda in the second half of Wicked channeling expensively dressed blonde political figurehead#literally the only two musical soundtracks i know inside out#but hilariously i imprinted on the film of Evita at an impressionable age and the show didn't get a west end revival for another decade#ironically that was 2006 when i also saw Wicked for the first time#more importantly the film of evita is based on the concept album rather than the show (and later productions use some film inspired changes)#and wicked the film moves even further away from the original book than the show does#i just have a lot of thoughts okay#and i really do have a terrible fondness for the heightened sepia nostalgia visuals of Evita it's a genuinely beautiful film#alan parker knows his shit#is it ~good~? i mean idk that that's quantifiable#i find it more watchable than the 2006 show revival#(also. also. Antonio Banderas. that is all.)#i think it uses screen space and the hinted at spaces beyond the stage much better than Wicked does in the film version#also? Evita is just allowed to be consistently snarky (because Che) and they kinda... stripped some of the snark from Wicked for the film.#i remain baffled by Choices.#(my new favourite Evita trivia is that both Meryl Streep and Michelle Pfeiffer were signed to star at various points and the CHOICES)
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— Are you sure Burke wants to buy Collinwood? — Yes, he said so. I'm just afraid it's only the beginning of what he wants.
#76.#➤ roger collins & victoria winters & burke devlin. ┊ to know how it ends‚ and still begin to sing it again.#gifs.#➤ edits & art. ┊ the evans cottage art gallery.#➤ roger collins. ┊ I and my ghosts want a drink.#➤ victoria winters. ┊ because she’s lost and lonely. because she looks in shadows.#➤ re: burke devlin. ┊ I am stranded in a hungerland of great prosperity.#I just think about Lou’s acting choices a lot.#the little pleading pout he gives her … the yearning after her... the fussing that she's talking to burke in the doorway...#and the way vicki holds eye contact with him ... hhhh.#and this is sandwiched between talking to her on the cliffs and taking her out to the blue whale !! (i think all the same day?)#it's just so... impactful. that this is blocked in the threshold.#lingering between burke and roger; the drawing room and foyer; pulled to either side by two versions of what happened ten years ago.#roger tugging (forcefully) at her loyalty to the collins family and her gratitude for giving her a home and family;#burke tugging her sympathies because he also wants a home; roots; a big house to raise his kids in — he's alone in the world like she is.#[heathcliff] is more myself than i am!#and you can see the realization on his face that should burke tug her too far;#roger's cord of communion will snap and he will take to bleeding inwardly.#vicki by nature of her character not only responds to truth with her favor — but; conversely; by giving her favor creates truth.#when she likes and trusts and wants to spend time w/ roger he fares very well: a breakfast date where she supplies him with an alibi —#a dinner date that covers up his perjury meeting. vicki's good opinion is indispensable for his survival —#the very minute he loses that — when she is certain he's bill's murderer — she turns on him and so does everyone else and he immediately#loses his freedom (albeit only temporarily held at the police station rather than 5 years in prison)#she's not literally taken laura's place with them — but it's remarkable how much her romantic intentions influence the outcome of that#decade-old case; in just the same way that laura choosing roger as her husband and supplying truth through her testimony lead to#burke's condemnation before. it's much the same game roger is playing at this point in the story (at a significant disadvantage#to last time; because he can't offer vicki — penultimate Good Girl — a ring)#vicki's heart; affection; attraction; tied up fundamentally in Justice. and her position as narrator#making it all the more compelling that she writes Truth as vicki is navigating who *very literally* holds the Pen.#burke's story or roger's story? burke's [redacted] or roger's [redacted]?
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character wrapped 2023 💥
tagged by @davidtennantpussytulpa ^-^ i didn't know how many to do so i copied tara and did top 10. i know the severance guys are Four Of Them but i can't separate them theyre all equally important to me
will graham (hannibal), em haywood (nope), aziraphale (good omens), mark & dylan & helly & irving (severance), hawkeye pierce (mash), martha jones (doctor who), ivan karamazov (the brothers karamazov), kim kitsuragi (disco elysium), stewy hosseini (succession), ruescott melshi (andor/rogue one)
i will tag... @fagician @britomart @libraryfag @roadwhores @majorbaby @globuspolski @hadleyfraserfaggot @tenderscience if u want to ^-^
#and now i will explain them all in detail#cos i started watching hannibal back in like. january or february and will immediately set up camp in my head and started to settle there#*I* pay rent to *HIM*. he lives there permanently. sweating and monologuing constantly#em was not only the character of 2022 but also of 2023 and of 2024 and the rest of the decade and all decades to come#she had such an impact on me keke palmer's performance will live with me forever and i love nope so fucking much#i almost didnt include her because nope was more of a last year obsession. but she lives on#aziraphale.........no comment#severance.......i love them all so much and at first i wanted just irving and then just helly and then i realise i cried over mark this week#and then i realised i couldnt possibly leave out dylan when hes probably my favourite character. so then i settled for all of them#hawkeye is my fucking wife. enough said#martha... well i knew i had to have a doctor who character. i thought maybe the doctor but then i thought their companions mean more to me#sometimes at least. i did have a fourteen icon for a while but then i was like but Donna..... and then i thought. well#these past few months at least martha jones has been eating away at my heart. i go batshit insane when i think about her#her impact. her grace. her power. so she had to go on the list.it was a toss up between her and donna for sure though#then i figured i had to include a karamazov since reading that book took up half of my year. and ivan was my favourite of the 3. so <3#kim goes without saying. literally nothing to be said hes the character Of All Time. to me#stewy also goes without saying ive had so many Stewy Save Me moments since the beginning of season 4 all the way to the end of the year#i miss him every day. he is the moment. i wish there was more of him all the time#and the last one is a bit of a wildcard cos all my insanity abt melshi has been on my andor sideblog.#but rest assured ive been thoroughly Not Normal about him. he literally side appears in 4 episodes and has 11 total minutes onscreen#but i love him. so much. and hes occupied most of my thoughts since september. once again his impact his power his grace. his homosexuality#enough said. that's all. thanks for reading. this was a great year for autism and madness#tag game#🍪
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life is worth living again, we're getting that act ii sequel
#daiya no ace#i am THRIVING#i waited so patiently#the very night before the announcement dropped i was telling one of my besties about waiting for the sequel#i still don't realize it#i tweeted it but i'll say it here too i hope this will motivate me to write some miyusawa and some furuharu#i've only published one miyusawa fic but the readers were so awesome and left heartwarming comments and i was so happy#it felt so rewarding and i was so happy to share a silly romance story with fellow fans#on top of the act ii sequel the manga is also getting published in my country at the end of the year#i can't wait to start collecting the volumes#it's my tenth year being a daiya fan and it's unbelievable to think i'm finally going to own the manga a literal decade after!!!#a girl has daiya brainrot (it's me i'm girlie)#tbh at this point my fave sports series go eyeshield 21 kuroko no basket and daiya no ace fisfs at least it's diverse!!!
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danny talking about how resentful she became when nobody who she self-sacrificed for cared when she died and then leaving kirsch with laura and carmilla bc "if he stays with me i might lose control again and kill him" kinda confirms my thoughts abt both newly-turnedness and anger making vampires more vampiry
but also makes me think that in more usual circumstances, when the dean turned vampires like carmilla and mattie, that shes really nice at the start to temper any of that unruly anger
#we dont have a lot of info on her usual mo i guess but im thinking a lot abt how it mustve gone with carmilla#i dont know if she was a special case or if this is usually generally how it goes#i suppose you dont necessarily need a lot of new ones do you. if youve got one vampire seductress in working condition#mattie had her role on the board#danny was just for end of the world purposes i think. opportunistic turning. to replace will perhaps#but im thinking abt how at first the dean and carmilla were kinda close. and i have no illusions abt what that meant for the dean like#im sure it was just to control carmilla. play into what she needed to ensure centuries of loyalty. and that kinda worked until elle#and looking at mattie i expect most of them will eventually start rebelling so i wouldnt be surprised if she did smth similar with mattieto#just 1000 years earlier. and at our point in the story mattie is doing strained coexistence with her right?#carmilla is well in mattie's view rocking the boat once again for a cute girl#thats so funny oh my god. iconic. take the first lesbian predator archetype character and make it so that she keeps#rebelling against the evil BECAUSE shes so gay#like literally thats her entire motivation 'of course i was just doing it for you' oh my godddd hfkjhgjhghj ICONIC#i love her so much i love her soooo much#what was i talking about. oh yeah so i think the dean in usual circumstances is very nice at first and spoils her new vampires#to foster allegiance#god carmilla must just have been so happy to have someone care about her and be nice to her i think#every thought i have abt 18 yo carmilla is so sad#but i can imagine those early years/decades of her and the dean travelling around. mattie there too maybe not all the time#but enough time. mattie there too specifically also to make carmilla feel wanted and make friendship so she wouldnt rebel#to guide her through her young vampire years probably! damn yeah i bet that was mattie who taught her all the tricks#mother isnt a vampire and i dont see her really caring. i think mattie probably taught carmilla the do's and don'ts of vampiredom#and they had fun! they had fun with it. they had cruel fun being vampires together. i think carmilla was just happy to belong#maybe mattie was happy to have a friend too idk if she had many. not many vampire friends anyway. she seems to have fun being a sister#anyway. just thinking aloud#carmillaposting
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soo many of my ocs.. and like All my beloved ones.. are people who just desperately want to live a quiet, peaceful life with their loved ones. but forces outside of their control keep making that impossible for them, and they aren't able to keep going through the situations against them without having to hurt and push themselves too far but still keep Choosing to be good and do good things because it is just what you should do
this says nothing in particular about me, i am sure.
#ocs#danica from a very young age has a demon in her eye... then when he is older his mother figure he lives with is kidnapped#and he has to claw through to find her again and keep using the power of his eyeball demon friend even though#every use is slowly killing him.#ashasiara...... all she wants is a nice life and she is saved from dying by a god then made to be the second of her clan#and then gets infected with the blight while her best friend dies and has to join an army against her will just to not become a darkspawn#and THEN the whole army gets betrayed and she has to single handedly take this all on alone and build and army at fucking age 24#and then she is Done and cant even rest and stay running off with her friends bc the wardens drag her back#and she goes in and out of trying to soft leave the order and failing until she comes to the inquisiton and starts tutoring the kid herald#and then gets like a solid decade of time with her husband to just Exist like she always wanted before she dies an early death.#and the whole time she is a blood mage and actively has to sacrifice her own blood to beat back the odds against her AND has to deal#with demons trying to snatch her body every night when shes asleep.#bud has chronic pain and health issues from his godhood. that he only has bc he was Trying to save his town. and he desperately#Does Not want it. so he runs and avoids it and gives his power to someone else (which he then has to get back bc oops she sucks and also#every time she uses it he is in awful pain and blisters) and tries to ignore it for literally 1000+ years. until he cant anymore#until he comes across someone else affected by the same thing that he starts to care about too much and wants to fix it for him#and the someone else is sterling whos only want is to experience life in its whole but was trapped and isolated in the sky#and now that he is on the ground is in constant health issue city but he is so in love with everything#and would stay here forever but the threat of the god. the mother figure that made him is looming the entire time unable to be shaken#astrias does actually start with the exact goal of Wanting ro be famous and Known and beloved by everyone she sees#but as she starts to make actual connections with so many people for the first time in her life that starts to change.#she goes from a cocky girl wanting to be a beloved hero to someone who actually ends up being a hero from a genuine act without care of#recognition. and then she gets it. she gets what she always wanted and rejects it to go live and bake with her wife and sit on the porch#koralynne (the wife) who is just in the position of being a mercenary because she desperately needs money#because she Wants to be bard. a performer. but every chance st that shes ever had was ripped away#so she tries to do it herself. then finds that the more she uses her magic the faster her energy drains. the harder is it to Exist.#to even play music. to think. and she has to change her entire direction and how she does everything. but she still keeps going#not alone. she has astrias and destiny and atlas.#lin who fails at the one thing she was literally made to do. whos body wages a war against her for turning against its stages purpose#but she makes it work for her anyway. bevause she finds people she loves that love her and she doesnt want to let it go
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It *does* hurt that I got let go without any warning (even if I knew it was a possibility, especially since it's the slow season now and they're specifically replacing half of my department with other stuff) *because* I've been looking for other jobs with the plan to do a full two-weeks notice when I found one, and I've been secretly planning this entire time to eventually leave, making things as neat and easy as possible for whoever ends up overseeing my department. I didn't want any of the extra work to fall on my coworkers, the other department managers who have their own workloads. So it really sucks that higher-ups decided that I didn't deserve any warning, and neither did any of my teammates who will now have to pick up all the slack without any guidance from me.
#sorenhoots#it's fine. its fine! its just a liquor store.#stop worrying so much about it please brain PLEASE its fine. they're fine.#its fine it's fine its fine its just a liquor store.#yeah no one will care about my cusotmers and the store wont know to order the special orders anymore but its fine.#the customers will find their alcohol somewhere else or theyll find something different or just give up. it's fine. its just alcohol.#literally worst case scenario is that a customer cant get their favorite wine anymore which is FINE its not the end of the world#i know i put my heart into it and now i feel a little crushed but its fine... it'll be fine. i always knew it was a possibility.#wine departments are always the lowest income. beer and spirits always do better. wine departments always get the first budget cuts.#thats why they never actually gave me a manager salary or health insurance. they didnt want a wine manager. they just needed one until the#holiday season ended. my coworkers will be fine without me.#all the Chardonnay Bob stupidly bought will go on sale in 4-6 years or get thrown away in 8-10 and itll be FINE 💜 its not a big deal.#its not like i stopped Bob from wasting their money anyways. its not like i could. what good is a manager who cant even keep some stupid#fucker from wasting their money on shit thats going to gather dust for a decade and then get thrown out? maybe itll be liquidated if they#decide to stop carrying wine entirely. i couldnt even do my job because they put some idiot in a position above me who fucked up my shit all#the time so why wouldnt they get rid of me?#its fine its fine its fine its fine. ill be fine of course! there are other jobs here actually. ive been looking for a better job for a#while now and turned down some half-decent offers because i had a 3/4th decent job at the time. ill just pick one of the 1/2 decent ones now#and keep looking for something better too. im going to get back into science...!! thats what i really want.#im going to go back to the field i love. itll hurt even worse when the jobs are cruel and stupid but...i dont want anything else.#if im going to be subjected to the stupid-ass system of capitalism and heartless employers then im going to do it in science where i have a#deep and burning passion. ill...just need to try to thicken my skin to the inenvitable horrors of labor and being treated as a machine that#makes a CEO richer. but if im stuck spending my life making a CEO richer then i might as well try to find something i enjoy.
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always remember that you dont have to listen to bad ttrpg podcasts if you don't like them. nobody is holding a gun to your head
#it was one thing 5 years ago when the show was coming off of two mostly good seasons with kind of crap endings#and there was still maybe an emotional investment or good will left to burn there#but now? this show has not been relevant once since this decade started. its time to move on. they dont need to impact you anymore.#if travis being bad at board games is still taking up literally any mental real estate for you thats a YOU PROBLEM.#avpost#its one thing to stick through the trainwreck of a show you enjoy crashing into an unsatisfying ending#but a whole other thing to keep listening like 4 seasons past the last time they told a story you gave a shit about.#its time to hit da bricks! let them do their thing in their corner of the internet and just ignore it like the rest of us!!
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okay but like, the nekoma vs karasuno match isn’t going to be the only game in the next film right? like i do think it should get its own film, but if there’s only two movies, there’s no way the second film can cover literally everything that comes after not the rest of nationals not graduation not brazil and certainly not the msby black jackals vs schweiden adlers game. the second film is just going to be 2 hours of montage to get thru everything who decided this
#i’d rather wait 5 years for an actual last season#tho even a full 20+ ep season probably isn’t enough to cover everything#i’d wait a decade for a properly animated end to haikyuu like it’s worth it#why do anime production companies make such bad decisions???#the haikyuu fandom is so large and dedicated you don’t need to get two films out quickly#to ‘capitalise on the hype’ or w/e#maybe that makes sense for a show like jjk or w/e other shonen of the year#but haikyuu’s had steady popularity for a full decade it’s a safe bet omg#haikyuu#im late to this convo but i literally just got caught up okay lol
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